#i turned 21 right before it started getting phased out. i miss when bars had free snacks

[mildmayfoxe]

remember when bars used to have free snacks. just thinking about when bars used to have free snacks

[lost-in-the-80s]

Bloodletting part II - Prologue

Words: 1,820k

Summary: Guns n Roses are already known for being dangerous, but how dangerous would they be if they were vampires? Would it be a wiseful decision to fall for one of them?

A/N: Next week the x reader part will start! I’m making a playlist inspired by this (sorry, I just couldn’t hold myself sjdhs). I’ll be posting one part every Tuesday. Also, from now and on, tag list will be at the end of the fic :)

Some initial information: this series will take place in 2020, but without the pandemic. If you already read part 1 (which was posted last year) please ignore any pairs that the boys have had (Slash’s case), here they are all single.

Moodboards | Part I | Part III

Los Angeles, 2016.

“What the fuck died in here?” Izzy asked as he entered Axl’s victorian house in Los Angeles.

It was night outside and all the curtains were closed, putting the entire house in complete darkness. If Izzy wasn’t a vampire, he surely wouldn’t be able to see anything.

The smell of blood and something decomposing had caught his nostrils as soon as he opened the door, making him cover his nose with his hand.

“I did.” Axl’s hoarse voice came from upstairs, he wasn’t yelling, he knew his friend could hear even his breath from the floor below.

Izzy rolled his eyes, starting to climb the stairs. “Yeah, but it was almost a thousand years ago.”

Reaching the second floor, Axl was sitting on the floor, a bottle of Scotch Whisky in his hands as his shirtless figure looked at his friend.

“Shit, when was the last time you took shower?” Izzy wrinkled his nose in disgust.

The redhead shrugged. “Am fuckin tired, Iz.”

“Don’t tell me you’re in that I Hate Myself phase again.” The brunette started walking through the corridors, going in the direction of the decomposing smell that had gotten stronger.

“I fucking do! I hate what I am.”

“It’s useless to hate yourself, we already talked about it.” He stopped in front of a door, the smell was definitely coming from behind it.

“And what am I supposed to do, Isbell?”

Izzy opened the door, covering his nose one more time when he saw the dead body of a girl inside, she didn’t look older than 25 and was dead for at least a couple of hours now. A human would never be able to smell her though.

“Axl, if I know you well, and I like to think I do, this happens every time you’re alone.”

“I’m always alone, Isbell.”

“I told you to go to New York with me last year.” He closed the door, moving closer to the redhead.

“I’m not going to fucking New York.”

“And what are you going to do then? Kill yourself? You know that it’s impossible.”

“Believe me, I know.”

Izzy frowned, squatting down in front of him, a circular bruise on his chest indicated that he had shot himself there, not so long ago.

He shook his head. “When did you do it?”

“Last night.”

“How did it feel?”

“I passed out. Woke up a few minutes later and it fucking hurt, I had to take the fucking bullet out of it. Wasn’t nice.”

“At least it’s almost healed.”

“I’m fucking tired of not feeling anything. Not even this fucking whisky can make me drunk anymore.” He threw the bottle on the other side of the corridor, its glass hitting the wall and breaking in many pieces.

Izzy rubbed his forehead. “That’s it! Pack your stuff, you’re going to New York with me.”

“I’m not fucking daeing that.” He got up, entering his office and getting a cigarette in his wooden box.

“You’re becoming reckless. There’s a body in your house and at some point, someone will miss the girl. It’s not 1720 anymore, they have cameras everywhere now, it’s a matter of days until they find you.”

Axl looked at him, but didn’t say anything.

Izzy removed his blazer, placing it on a chair in front of the desk and removing his tie. “I’m gonna take care of the body, be ready when I’m back.”

---

The flight to New York was quiet, Axl was too proud to thank his friend for helping him and Izzy was in his own world, enjoying the silence in the first class while drinking some gin.

Arriving in the city around midday, they were quite a sight. Izzy in a suit with a long and expensive grey coat over it, matched with his black sunglasses and grey-black hat, while Axl wore a pair of black ripped jeans and a leather jacket, also wearing black sunglasses.

It was winter in New York, as they walked towards the uber who would drive them to Izzy’s new house in the city. A three-floor gothic construction from the XIX century, which he had sent some pictures to Axl via letters, since Axl refused to have a cell phone.

“What the fuck are you doing in New York after all?”

“Business, Axl.”

He knew that Izzy had business in many places, he always knew what to do with his money, no wonders why he was the richest vampire he knew. But the fact that Izzy changed Amsterdam for New York was still something he couldn’t justify.

“And why moving here?”

“There are some cool people around.”

“Since when dae ya care about who’s around?”

“I do feel lonely sometimes too, Axl.”

And then silence was spread in the car again.

After almost an hour, they stopped in front of a huge house, its walls were in exposed brick and the garden in front had some trees that had lost their leaves with the cold weather.

Exiting the car, Izzy stopped on the sidewalk, getting a cigarette from his pack and offering one to Axl, which he silently thanked. He lighted both cigarettes before speaking up:

“There will be some people inside, I want you to be cordial to them.”

Axl scoffed. “And since when ah umnae cordial?” He passed through Izzy, stopping in front of the front door while waiting for the brunette.

Izzy rolled his eyes, but opened the door. The house was in the same way as when he left, the smell of old books and wooden, mixed with a little alcoholic scent, along with a small hint of blood coming from the freezers in the basement.

“Hello, Izzy.” A blonde guy, smaller than them, approached the two of them, he was coming from the kitchen and there was a huge smile on his face. “You must be Axl.”

Axl looked him up and down, scanning his figure. He wore blue jeans and a red bomber jacket.

He can’t be older than 20, Axl thought to himself.

“Ya, I am.” He passed through the blonde, looking at every piece of the house. “Where’s my room, Izzy?”

“Hello, Steven.” Izzy chose to ignore the redhead, moving towards the fireplace room.

“How was your trip?”

“It was good, Steven. Thanks for asking.”

“Is he English like you and Slash? He sounds different.”

Axl averted his eyes to the blonde, with a mortal glare. “Ah umnae fucking English. I’m Scottish!”

“Oh, sorry! Well, but you are all British, so it’s almost the same thing right?” He smiled, trying to start a conversation.

“Izzy, what is this bampot talking about?” Axl started to move towards Steven, but Izzy stopped him.

“Control yourself.” He gave Axl a stern look before taking a long breath.

“You must be Axl. Nice jacket.” Another blonde showed up, he had a pack of chips in his hands and he entered the room. He was taller than the rest of them and looked like he was 21 or 22. He wore black jeans and a denim jacket on top of a grey sweater.

“Yeah.”

“I’m Duff.” He pointed to himself before throwing himself on the couch.

“The guy in the library is Slash, he’s English too.” Izzy pointed towards the library, to which Axl only nodded in understanding. “Come, I’ll show you your room.”

Picking up his suitcase, Axl followed him up the stairs, lots of old pictures of Izzy and his friends were on display on the wall, and Axl almost smiled when he saw a picture of the two of them together.

Izzy stopped at the end of the corridor, opening a door on his right side. Inside the room, the walls were in a cream color and the furniture, the floor was in the darkest shade of wood Izzy could’ve found. There was a huge bed with white sheets and a white big bathroom, with a big mirror inside. The room’s windows gave Axl a view of the front yard and the street.

“Good enough for you?” Izzy asked.

“Ya.” He placed his suitcase on the floor and sat at the edge of the bed, watching as Izzy sat on the white armchair in front of the windows.

“Why did you go after me, Iz?”

Izzy took a deep breath, inhaling the last of his smoke. “I had a dream.” He exhaled the smoke. “You were in a lake and you were drowning, and you didn’t seem to make a move to get out of there.” He paused for a second. “I thought something was wrong with you.”

Axl nodded, staying in silence for a while before speaking up again. “And who are these people?”

“I met Slash on the plane to here, we were sitting next to each other, and we obviously knew what we were. He turned out to be a nice guy, but he had nowhere to stay here, I told him he could stay with me for a while.”

“And what about the other two?”

“Duff’s the owner of a bar, not too far from here, he’s cool, introduced me to some nice music. He used to live in the apartment on top of it, but it needed some reforms, and he’s staying here ever since the reform started.”

“And when will the reform be over?”

“They finished it about 3 months ago.”

“Why is he still here then?”

“Because we’re friends, just like Steven, who’s a friend of Duff’s, he was here all the time, and then I simply decided to tell him to stay permanently.”

“Since when do you care about friends?”

“I know that you’re in a terrible mood, and that the idea of living with other people is strange for you after so many years living alone. But the thing is: we all want the same thing Axl.”

“And what’s that?”

“A family.”

Axl stared into his eyes.

“It’s the only thing we can’t have, and even though we are very different, we are a family, or a clan, or whatever. We miss having people who care for us around, and we miss the feeling of belonging to something. You’ll understand it, not today, but you will some time, and then you’ll be thankful for having these people around you.”

Izzy got up, leaving the room and closing the door behind him, leaving Axl to think about his words.

---

Turns out that Izzy was right. In the first weeks, Axl would stay on his own, only joining during their daily meal and not saying a word. But after a while, he started to loosen up. He and Duff got really along, and he made Axl see the good part of Steven's and Slash’s personality.

And now, after four years living together and being this so-called clan, they learned how to coexist with each other and ended up becoming close friends, or even brothers, Steven dared to say. And in their own weird way, they became a family.

Tag list: @roger-taylors-car @ladieswttda @teasid @metalheartofgold @slashscowboyboots @ginny-rose-sixx @rumoured-whispers @bigdaddylars @dynamitebabe @tuffduff @mitchgrassified @gamsbeans @hooloovooblue @normatural @axlsbabygirl @mudkicker @dazeduchess @izzysjujuhounds @pinkpatiencecreepers @smokeandmirrorz

Add yourself to my tag list :)

[auroracalisto]

only time will tell

Requested by @123cvcz: Hello，love！Would u like to do a Soulmate AU with Stefan Salvatore X Reader？Hope this isn’t bothering u，have a good day，love❤️

asldkfjalsdjkfas just as i was about to post this, my tumblr completely stopped working so i had to refresh.  anywayyyyy other than that, thank you so much for requesting!!  this was fun to do and i am so tempted to have a part two.

ps idk why the formatting is off give me a minute to fix it

pairings: soulmate!stefan x reader

word count: 1.2k

warnings: uhhhhhhhh vampirism, you were turned, disappearances, cussing, not the whole shabang but it is the vampire diaries so take what you will

His timer didn’t start counting down until 1993.  At that point in time, Stefan was 147.  That would have meant that his soulmate had just been born.  But it started at 21 years, 7 months, 3 weeks, 2 days, 16 hours, and 22 seconds.  

He had often regarded the soulmate timer as a hoax.  Damon had his and lost his soulmate.  As soon as he met his soulmate, she died right in front of him.  It sent Damon into a rage.  And Damon nearly sent Stefan into another ripper phase.  

But that’s a story for another time.  

Stefan stepped out of his car, looking down at his wrist.  It had decreased tremendously.  Today, it read 2 hours.  Sometimes, though, it had gained some time.  As if something had changed with his soulmate and the universe said, “Enough is enough.”  However, today was definitely different.  It kept ticking down.  And he couldn’t do anything to stop it.  

He looked towards the forest and let out a soft sigh.  Klaus wasn’t up to anything good.  Stefan and his friends had to do something to get Klaus to stop rampaging, as often as he did.  So, they decided to meet up and formulate a plan, careful not to let any of the Mikaelson’s know of their whereabouts.  

Damon would be with Elena.  Caroline was somewhere.  It was the same with Bonnie.  

Stefan frowned.  Something felt off… but he couldn’t quite put his finger on it.  

“Stefan,” the man heard his brother’s voice.  He frowned and he looked up, seeing Damon walking over with a frown.  “We have a problem.”

Elena came up beside of him, followed by Caroline and Bonnie.  Elena had a deep frown.  

“Caroline’s sibling is missing,” Elena said.  

Stefan frowned deeply as he looked at the girl.  He quickly looked to Caroline. “Sibling?  I thought you were an only child.”

“They were adopted when I was three.  They were six…  They left town as soon as they turned eighteen.”  

“When was that?” Stefan looked at Damon, frowning.  “Why haven’t I ever met them?”

Caroline crossed her arms over her chest.  “[Your name] didn’t have contact with me for about a year before they finally messaged me.  It was an email, with their location.  They were literally in the middle of a small town in Alaska.  [Your name] had no recollection of what happened… and then Klaus showed up,” Caroline cleared her throat. “He showed up and suddenly, they started sending me text messages.  Daily.  Always asking me how I am.  I… I know [Your name]’s missing because I haven’t heard from them in about a day. And I think it has something to do with Klaus.”

Stefan stared Caroline down for a moment.  “And you’re sure they’re missing? They haven’t just run off again, like they did before?”

Caroline frowned.  “[Your name] got away because of the town.  I knew it wasn’t because of me.  Please, I just… I have a really bad feeling about this.  I’m scared something bad has happened, Stefan.”

The vampire sighed and he ran a hand through his hair.  “Alright.  What do we do?”

“We need you to contact Klaus,” Elena said, coming up beside of him. “He trusts you more than any of us.  The two of you used to be friends, yeah?  Just ask him to meet up with you.  Damon and I will go to his house and see if we can find them.”

Stefan frowned but nodded.  

He found himself, just moments later, back at his car and calling Klaus from his cellphone.  

“And to what do I owe this pleasure of hearing your annoying voice?” 

Stefan rolled his eyes.  “Very funny, Klaus.  Listen.  I need to talk to you.  Do you think we could meet up somewhere?”

“Talk to me?  Can you not just tell me now?”

“It has to be in private.”

Klaus sighed over the phone.  He cleared his throat before speaking again.  “Okay.  Mystic Grill, ten minutes.  I haven’t got all day, you know.”

“I know.”

—

Stefan leaned against the edge of the bar as he frowned at Klaus. Klaus kept looking towards the timer on Stefan’s wrist as it edged closer to half an hour.  

Klaus smirked at his old friend.  

“Are you expecting someone?  Nervous, are we?”

“I’m not nervous,” he rolled his eyes and turned back to the counter. He took a sip of his whiskey, watching the ice clink against the edge of the glass.  

Klaus rose an eyebrow.  “Then why have you called me here, hm?” 

“Well,” Stefan began, looking down at his phone.  

Not here.

It was a text from Damon.  

Stefan put his phone away and he looked up at Klaus.  

“Let me ask you something, Klaus,” he said, clearing his throat.  “Do you… do you know where Caroline’s—”

“Is Caroline here?” he asked, interrupting him completely.  He smiled at the man.  “I’ve been meaning to talk to her about something.”

“Talk to her about what?”

Klaus rose an eyebrow and he finished drinking his drink.  

“Well, has she talked to you about [Your name]?”

Stefan turned to face the Original vampire.  

“They came to me a few years ago.  They had been turned and they had no idea where to turn to.  You weren’t here and they were basically alone.  They had made friends with Rebekah sometime ago and decided that they needed to find me,” he chuckled softly.  “Low and behold, they found me.”  

Stefan stared at him.  “[Your name] left because they were turned?”

“That and other reasons,” a voice came from behind the two conversing men. “I’m [Your name].  Would you like to talk any louder?  I don’t know if the office building down on main street heard you.”

Stefan quickly turned his head in your direction, his heart dropping to his stomach.  His timer had stopped, blinking zero for just a moment.  

You tilted your head in confusion before you turned your attention to your own timer.  It read zero, just like the man in front of you had zero on his own.  

“Who…” 

You looked up at Stefan with wide eyes.  “You must be Stefan.  Klaus… told me that you were friends with my sister.  Is she alright?  Is she well?”

“She’s a vampire,” Stefan cleared his throat.  “You… might want to talk to her on your own instead of asking me about her.”

“She’s a vampire?” you weakly asked, frowning.  “That’s exactly why I tried to stay away—so she wouldn’t…  Did you turn her?” 

“No.  No, I didn’t.  I promise.”

You stared him down for a minute.  You couldn’t help but look back down at your timer, sucking in a deep breath.  “I… is yours… did yours just reach zero? Like mine did?”

Stefan nodded, watching you with soft eyes.  “Yes.  Mine did.”

“So that means…”

“You’re soulmates.  Yes, great.  Wonderful figuring this out.  Now, if you’ll excuse me, I have a date with Caroline—”

You rolled your eyes.  “If you hurt her—”

Klaus shot you a glare before he left the two of you standing by the bar.  

Stefan awkwardly cleared his throat.  “I… I guess I should formally introduce myself.  My name is Stefan Salvatore.”

You looked back at him, and you began to smile a bit.  “[Your full name].  It’s nice to meet you, Stefan.  I… wow, I just… I can’t believe I’ve found my soulmate.”

Stefan couldn’t help but smile at your comment.  “I went for so long thinking I didn’t have one.  It’s… nice to know that the only problem was time.”

[nehawriter16]

2020 / 24

There are only 2 things I can do on an airplane – dose up on sleeping meds and pass out, or order one too many cappuccinos, keep my exhausted brain awake, and will it to talk to paper. The flight from JFK was in the afternoon and in the chaos of leaving for the airport early in the morning, I forgot to pack my pills.

Two cappuccinos in, my hands were shaking and begging to be typing out the Mrs. Maisel speed monologue that constantly runs in my head. Even though there is a month left in this year, I decided to do my annual New Years Eve post. Over the last 3 days, I’ve been drilling it down to go from gibberish to slightly readable.

Here it is.

Like the rest of the world, in January, I was blissfully unaware of the shitstorm that would follow. I got into several colleges on the East Coast for a Master’s in Finance degree. Every day, I would race down the stairs with my laptop and show my parents: another admit, another scholarship! On the surface, I was making pro and con lists for each one. Deep down, my heart had already picked Fordham in New York. It was New York. Nothing else would cut it.

The day after I turned 24 in January, I also met my (now ex) boyfriend on the internet. Completely by accident, he saw my profile because a mutual friend followed my writing. Two days later, she texted me and said he would like to talk to me. Did I want to talk to some boy studying in Paris? I was single and bored and already had my year laid out for me, so why wouldn’t I?

It moved quickly. Three months later, we had been speaking every day and were exclusive. We had not hung out in person. It was stupid, but I had never come across anybody who liked me as much as he did. In every relationship I had been in before this, I always knew I was more emotionally involved. I fell in love with his devotion to me – he would stay home (who stays home in Paris!) and choose to spend virtual time with me over going to clubs with his friends. I watched myself become the epicenter of his life and thought – this is how much I’ve always wanted to mean to somebody.

In March when the pandemic hit and India shut down, my father sent a car to pick me up from my internship in Bombay, where I had moved two weeks ago. I didn’t pack so much as my toothbrush – the driver brought me home and I had no idea that it would be months before I’d get to leave again.

Morales stayed high in the beginning – we thought it would end in 21 days, then 2 months, then 5. It has taken over the whole year now, and despite us gridlocking it into “2020,” we all know the first half of 2021 will also be filled with masks and sanitizers and not hugging your friends. I wonder if I will ever settle into somebody’s arms without cringing again.

March melted into April, that melted into one long drawl until suddenly it was August and college was beginning the following week. I found myself refreshing the US consulate’s website absent mindedly one afternoon, and all appointments that had been suspended suddenly showed you a tiny little bar that read “reschedule.” I screamed and clicked.

I had thought I would be spending the year stuck at home, awake and attending classes at odd hours. While my classmates went to happy hours in dive bars in Manhattan, I would be in my bedroom, still chained to my parents’ curfews and ultimatums. But then suddenly, I was standing before a US immigration officer in Bombay, and he was telling me I had been granted my student visa.

All that was left to do was book a flight to New York, and break the news to my boyfriend, who was on his way to my abandoned apartment at this very moment for our first date, 7 months after we first began speaking. He had come home in March when France went into lockdown, and it was starting to feel like a throuple with long distance, the third and very present member in our relationship.

I packed up the belongings I had left there, and we sat across from each other on the double bed. I kissed him first. There were roadblocks, and our personalities and views clashed on so many important things, but I loved him. Two days later, I said: I have to leave for New York in 3 weeks. He didn’t take it well.

In September, I landed at JFK. When the wheels of the plane made contact with the runway, I was smiling behind a mask I’d had on for 16 hours. On the Air Train to Manhattan, I felt a sense of happiness wash over me and toyed with the possibility that maybe I wouldn’t mind if it was just me in this city. I would be okay alone.

I found an apartment, a roommate, signed a lease in a beautiful building in Hell’s Kitchen, walking distance from college. I met lots of people from my class and instantly picked out the ones I wanted to become good friends with. I dove straight into academics and extra curriculars at college – after 5 months of nothing happening, life was suddenly exciting again.

When New York lit up every night, it felt like anything was possible. I started eating better and walking a lot. My hair grew out from the bad haircut I’d gotten the year before. Coffee was no longer just coffee, it was finding a new café and walking through Central Park. Drinks were not just drinks, they were about accidentally stumbling onto a secret bar in the East Village, finding favorite spots in the neighborhood, letting a cute waiter recommend a cocktail to me even though I was perfectly capable of picking one myself.

The boyfriend and I were fighting more than usual. I was getting tired of it. We had discussed a life together, but it was slowly and surely becoming clear to me that I would resent myself for making big compromises for a person who still had a lot of growing up left to do. As New York got cold, I did too – without trying. When one particular argument got really bad, I asked for a break from the relationship. He didn’t like it.

A week later, I woke up to a girl sending me screenshots on Instagram of her conversation with him (pre me asking for a break) on a dating app, and without getting into details, I will tell you it was not a conversation anybody with a girlfriend should have been having. I should have been broken in half on the inside, but now I could finally say, without feeling guilty – this relationship was not working, nobody was happy, and you were so unhappy you thought talking to other women was okay. I spent all of one day drinking with a friend in Central Park and sobbing myself to sleep.

But mostly, what hit me after the initial shock had died down was a tsunami of relief. I felt lighter, freer. I try not to think too hard about the trauma that comes from finding out that the person you think is so devoted to you, and definitely loves you more than you love them (or so you think) is being unfaithful, because it hurts a part of me that is already very bruised from all the things that have happened to me before. So I don’t.

But it was New York. I was young and smart and there was a wine shop down the block that sold $14 bottles of Moscato. I didn’t need much else to know I would be okay. At 20, I would have jumped right back into going on dates every other night to distract myself from what had happened, then never called any of those men back. At 24, this emotional speed bump resulted in a lot of quiet introspection in my bedroom. I spent a lot of time alone, on the phone with friends, and walking around the city. I had learnt to like my own company enough to not fill a suddenly empty void with anybody else’s, even though there have been several tempting offers in this past month, and sometimes, I have succumbed to them, but mostly I am very strict with who deserves my company.

It was nice to spend that second month in New York by myself. I owed absolutely nobody a single minute of my time. No one asked me questions, or called me and expected me to share my day unless I wanted to, and once I had worked hard and cleared out the things from my to do list for the day, time stretched out before me and I had the autonomy to decide the smallest thing down to who to meet, what to eat, how much to sleep.

I didn’t let my academics and ambition suffer – no matter what happens, I never do and I never will. The grades stay up – it’s built into my system. I am back home now and just 2 days in, I find myself wishing I hadn’t left New York. I was starting to build a life I liked there, and the only price I had to pay for it was a 4 pm sunset. It would have been slightly lonely, but I like the time I spend by myself. I worked hard to become like that.

This month, I will see my friends here at home. I’ve missed them. I can’t believe I grew up in this city and I already feel so alienated from it just from 60 days of living away. Is that how badly I wanted to leave?

I might be dramatic and fly back on my 25th birthday, so that I can say, “I was on a flight,” and ignore the slowly expanding bubble of dread that comes with turning that old. I like the ambiguity of airports and I’m the sort of inherently sad person who would love to be alone and unreachable on my birthday.

I acknowledge that my problems this year have been so small in the face of those of us who have lost family members, contracted the virus, had to give up internships or had jobs taken from us, been torn away from family, or had to make it through this alone.  

I feel almost guilty that good things have happened to me in a year that has predominantly been bad for almost everyone else. I feel apologetic, even though from 2017 to 2019, I was treated like life’s sick joke so I should deserve these good things that I worked hard for.

I definitely feel myself growing up, though. Emotionally I find I have a clearer idea of what I want from relationships and friendships, and I don’t second guess cutting off anybody who doesn’t serve that purpose or messes with my mental peace. I still have days when self-doubt comes over for a cup of tea, leaves me weak in the knees, but most days are free of it. I am also moving out of that chameleon phase where I mirrored what I thought a room full of new people would want from me, and I am unapologetically myself, irrespective of who’s watching.

Last year I remember wishing for something stupid, like “I wish there was somebody to kiss on New Years Eve,” because I’ve never had anybody to smack lips with when it’s midnight. This year, I don’t care. I’ll kiss myself in the mirror, for all I care. I love her. She’s my homie.

It’s been a weird year. I know who I was in 2019, and I remember wondering if I was proud of her. Things were still in purgatory then. But I steered my life and brought it back on track. This year, I am proud of myself without doubting it.

There’s no measuring scale for personal growth, but if there was, I feel at least a couple of inches taller in 2020.

[sprnklersplashes]

heart of stone (5/?)

AO3

Janis will always remember this morning.

The sun is just about up as she stands in her bedroom, fighting for dominance with grey clouds that promise a shower later on. Across the city, kids are groaning and pressing the snooze buttons, getting dressed and brushing their teeth, packing their bags and making sure they have everything for the day ahead. Janis is doing the almost same thing, but instead of packing for school, she’s squashing as much as she can into her bag, trying to take as much of home with her as she possibly can. They’re all headed off to school and will see their homes again tonight, she won’t see this bedroom for another two weeks.

Her teeth dig into her lip and she pushes another sweater into the bag. It’s a little like going on vacation; she has no idea what’s enough pairs of underwear and if she’ll need a sweater and if she really needs this t-shirt she hasn’t worn in two years. Maybe if she pretends it’s a vacation she can get through it.

She picks up the small stuffed kitten that lay across her pillows. He’s been her constant companion since she was five, accompanying her to sleepovers and overnight field trips and Girl Scout retreats. Wherever she slept, he slept. Which is why she doesn’t hesitate in putting him in her bag. She drops a little kiss to his forehead before she packs him, though, and decides to put him in the side of her backpack instead. To let him look out at everything. And so she can grab him if she needs him.

She hasn’t eaten anything. Her stomach has twisted itself into knots and tied those knots together and folded in on itself. She picked at oatmeal downstairs but despite her parents insistence, she couldn’t eat any of it. Her dad had reminded her that she’d need her strength for the day ahead and Janis had stifled a laugh. She doesn’t feel strong at all right now and doubts oatmeal could help. Her parents had only allowed her to go upstairs to finish packing when she agreed to take her breakfast with her.

To kill time, and to avoid the cold oatmeal glaring at her from her nightstand, she looks through the open drawers, trying to find something to add to the mass in her bag. Her doctor had advised her to pack what she’d be most comfortable in. He of course meant PJs and sweatpants and stuff Janis can lounge in during her treatment, but the two of them seem to have different versions of ‘comfortable’. For Janis, comfort means being happy with herself, and what she wears is sort of like a manifestation of her own soul. After all, it did take longer than she thought to find out what she likes wearing. So in that vein, her bag is filled with fishnet tights and graphic tees and shorts and denim skirts. And a few pairs of leggings, just to keep her mom happy.

As she looks through the drawers and tries to block out her parents’ muffled conversations, she pulls out a hoodie that’s far too big to be hers. She pulls it out, falling back against her bed as she does so. She knows who owns it before she opens it up, and her breath catches in her throat. It’s Damian’s; originally plain white but she had tie-dyed it for him and sewn little a little rainbow under the hood as a birthday present last year. He must have left it here and a while ago and she had always intended to give it back. But now…

She holds it against her body, burying her face in the soft fabric inside the hood. She knows how it sounds, but having this sweater is the next best thing to having Damian with her. It feels like him, his big teddy bear body pulling her into a hug that lasts for ages, making her feel more safe than she does anywhere else.

Hopefully, he’ll understand.

“Janis?” She jumps a bit before turning around, her dad having caught her off guard. He stands awkwardly in the doorway, his shoulders hunched over and his hips moving back and forth like someone is pulling strings on both sides. “You okay?”

“Fine,” she replies, thankful that her eyes are dry. She pushes herself up and heads to the bed, wringing the sweater in her hands. “Just went to get this.” She manages to squish it into the bag and zip it up, catching on clothes along the way. Her dad does offer to help but she shakes him off and manages to get the thing closed, even if it is straining and reminds her vaguely of an overstuffed Christmas turkey.

“That’s everything,” she says. “Right?”

“Is it? You got the essentials?”

“Yeah,” she nods. “Um, underwear, PJs, clothes, laptop, notebook, pencils, chargers, phone, toothbrush, hairbrush…” She rattles them off on her fingers, the monotony of it somehow calming her.

“I see your little kitty’s coming too,” her dad points out, tapping under the toy’s chin. “Didn’t want to miss out, did he?” Janis chuckles at that. Despite her having grown out of that phase, her dad has kept on treating Purrlock like he’s real. She loves him for that.

“He said two weeks without me was too long,” she replies. Two weeks of sleeping in a different bed and eating food that wasn’t cooked in their kitchen, not seeing her friends and instead getting medicines pumped into her body because her body is being wrecked from the inside.

She comes back to herself just in time to see her hand reaching to grab Purrlock out of her bag.

“Hey.” Her dad takes the toy and gently presses it into her hand, his free hand rubbing up and down her arm. She can’t be imagining him trembling. Even so, she rests her head on his shoulder and lets him hold her tight. They stand in silence for a while before her dad whispers “Come on, it’s time to go,” in her ear. He has to pull her out of her room and takes both her bags with him. In the back of her mind, she wishes she could help, but she feels a little like her brain is on standby.

Her mom is already waiting in the car, her own bag packed. Her parents agreed that her mom would stay in the hospital with Janis while her dad stays at work, promising to visit her every night. ‘They’re going to have to extend visiting hours just for me’ he had promised. She slides into the backseat and places her backpack on her lap for something to hold on to.

“Everybody say ‘bye bye house’,” she says. It’s barely a joke, just something her parents liked to say when they would go on road trips when she was little, but it gets a laugh out of both of them.

As the car pulls out of the drive, she gives a minute wave goodbye to her house. Suddenly two weeks seems a lot longer than it had.

                                                                                               *****

Janis will never understand how people who work in hospitals are so damn cheerful. The receptionist who greets them, the nurses who guide her to her new room and give her a medical bracelet, they all have such a peppy, wholesome demeanour that makes them feel unsuited for the job they have. Like they should be on the side-lines of a football game instead,

Her room is identical to the other ones they passed; pale blue walls and a large window, in her case overlooking the parking lot, and a bathroom attached. Little Janis is jumping up and down with glee. She always wanted an en suite. Then there’s the bed, the one thing she doesn’t want to look at. With its sturdy grey frame and spotless, perfectly made white sheets it looks even more impersonal than the rest of the room. The worst part by far is the white bar above it which has outlets and hooks along it. All to house her various medicines and drugs.

Ward 3, Room 21. Her new home.

“Okay, let’s get you settled in,” the nurse begins. She did introduce herself, something beginning with an L, but it didn’t stick. “And then Doctor Wiley will be down to see you in a few minutes.” Again, the all-too-happy manners feel more like they belong in a hotel lobby. Like she’s just gone on vacation for a week. So, as though she’s on vacation, she wanders over and sits on the mattress, pushing herself up and down.

“Not very bouncy,” she concludes.

“I’ll put in a complaint with the manager,” her dad replies and she laughs, really laughs.

“You’re such a Karen,” she chuckles. “Not my Karen. Just you know… the species Karen.”

“I’ll get a bob and amber highlights,” he goes on and she leans back on the bed, still laughing. “Start ordering ice Frappuccino’s at Starbucks. Those are what Karens drink, right?”

“No, that’s what Regina George drinks,” her mom corrects him. “A Karen would have a latte, skim milk, no cream, half a pack of sweetener and then bring her own organic chocolate.” Janis’ cheeks almost hurt from smiling and laughing, but it fades almost instantly when she sees the doctor appearing behind them, the same one they spoke to before. Doctor Wiley, she assumes, but she’ll almost always be calling him Mr Doctor Man in the future.

Her parents take notice of him and in one motion, move away from the door and next to her, flanking her on either side.

“Well, I wish I was seeing you under different circumstances, Janis,” he says, a grim edge to his voice.

“The feeling’s mutual,” she replies. The corners of his mouth turn up at that. For her, the air turns chilly and she pulls her cardigan tighter around her.

“First thing’s first, we’re going to take a little blood test-”

“I already did one,” she interrupts. “Isn’t that the whole reason I’m here?”

“Well, yes, but this is a different one,” he explains. “That was to determine the type of cancer you have; this will be so we know how best to administer the chemo. We’ll also need to do a quick physical exam, check your height, weight, breathing, all so we know how to tailor your treatment to you.”

“Treatment that’s personally tailored to me,” she says. “What a dream.” Mr Doctor nods, a knowing smirk on his face that lifts Janis’ head. They lock eyes for a fraction of a second before he looks at her parents, as though he knows something they don’t.

“She’s going to be a fighter, I can tell,” he says. At that, her dad squeezes her hand and for a second, she wonders if she might actually make it through this.

Doctor Man’s comment and her parents’ pride both give her the strength to make it through the physical exam at least. It’s all quick and easy, even when he gets the needle out to draw her blood. Unlike Karen, who balks at the mere mention of one, she’s not particularly frightened of needles. She doesn’t love the idea either, but the only reaction she gives is her hand tightening on the arm of the chair.

So before homeroom ends for her friends, she’s standing with a cookie in one hand, juice box in the other and a tiny bandage on her arm.

“We’ll hope to get you started as quickly as possible,” her nurse explains. “In the meantime, why don’t you go check the place out? There’s a good teen lounge down the hall. There’s TV, games, movies. The whole shebang.”

“The whole shebang,” Janis echoes, a faint smile on her face.

“Do the kids not say ‘shebang’ anymore?” the nurse asks innocently.

“Not since the 90s, I think,” she replies. She kicks the ground with the toe of her boot, her hands plunged into her pockets. When she takes a tiny look up, she sees her parents deep in conversation with the doctor. If she doesn’t go to the lounge, it’s back to her room and that isn’t appealing to her. Besides, been there, seen that. “Sounds cool. Where do I find it?”

She probably could have found it without the nurse’s directions, but the sunny smile she delivers them with does something to calm Janis’ nerves. It’s a bit down past her room, honey-coloured double doors open revealing a bigger area with three baby blue walls and one white and covered in pencil doodles. They’ve clearly gone all out to make it cheerful and inviting, from the yellow sunshine rug on the floor to the overstuffed bookshelves and equally overstuffed DVD and game cabinet, to the large plush armchairs, each one with a brightly coloured cushion on it that looks like it was brought in a thrift store. A cool thrift store, though. One of the chairs is occupied now by what appears to be the only person in the room besides Janis.

“Wow.” Janis jumps, and then surprisingly, she supresses a sigh. She simply assumed her parents were still talking to the doctors, but that was probably a stupid assumption. Of course they’d be on her heels. Why would they let their illness-stricken daughter out of their sight? “Well this is cool.”

“Yeah,” she mumbles in reply. As her parents take in the room, the other kid looks up at her. She can’t be more than fourteen, legs folded beneath her on the chair, clad in rainbow-stripped leggings and a pink hoodie with who she recognises to be Princess Aurora on the front. And a beanie on her head, made from purple wool. Janis’ hand clenches in her pocket, her mouth running dry.

“Hey, sweetie,” her mom says, appearing at her side. “Do you need anything? There was a little store downstairs and the doctors said you might want to eat or drink something before your treatment starts.”

Relief hits her like a water balloon being thrown and guilt quickly follows. Not enough to make her refuse, but enough to make her notice and hope this doesn’t become common.

“That’d be great, Mom,” she replies. “I didn’t really eat breakfast.”

“That’s fine, we’ll get you something. Anything in particular you want? I can get you some candy if you want, or some-”

“It’s fine,” she says, plastering a smile on her face and patting her mom’s hand. “I trust your judgement. I’ll be here.”

Her mom cups her face before she finally leaves and Janis lets out a sigh before she can stop herself. Her eyes move to the other girl out on instinct and she finds her giggling. Should she be annoyed by that? If so, she’s doing the opposite. She pauses for a second before moving towards her and sitting on the arm of the chair next to her.

“Hey,” she greets. “I’m Janis.”

Damian’s voice whispers ‘and je m’appelle Sasha Fierce’ in her ear. She shakes her head to get it out.

“Hey,” she replies, putting her tablet by her side. “I’m Maddie.” Her eyes are green and there are braces on her teeth and dimples in her cheeks and as cute as Janis finds it, there’s an air of discomfort that she hopes Maddie doesn’t pick up on. She doesn’t appear to, instead looking at her with inquisitive eyes. “You’re new here, aren’t you?”

“How can you tell?”

“Well, first off, I’ve never seen you. And I know everything that goes on in here.” Janis chuckles.

“So you’re the all-seeing eye,” she states and Maddie nods excitedly. “No one gets in or out without you noticing.”

“Nope.” The smile on Maddie’s face falters and her fingers fidget in her lap. “And you look… well…” As her voice trails off, the pieces click together in Janis’ mind. Even despite the height difference, there’s a visible contrast between her and Maddie that she can’t ignore. Her hand twitches to touch her hair.

“Scary? Yeah, well, I’m 5”9’,” she responds, bringing the grin back. “Plus the dye job makes me look tougher than I actually am.” She leans back so that she sits on the seat, her feet dangling over the arm.

“Oh, I love your boots!” Maddie squeaks, her eyes going wide.

“Yeah?” There’s a rush of protective affection in her chest, slightly similar to when she saw Cady looking helpless and hopeless in health class, but she’s certain it won’t develop the way those feelings did. She wiggles her legs, letting the light catch her boots. “$15 at a thrift store.”

“Woah,” she breathes. A sheepish look crosses her face, a question on her mind that may as well be written across her forehead.

“You want to try them on?”

“Can I?” Maddie’s mouth has fallen open and her eyes bulge in a perfect picture of delight that warms Janis’ heart. That feeling doesn’t go away when she toes off her boots and only swells when Maddie steps into them. Even in those boots, she barely comes up to Janis’ chest. She looks up at her with so much giddy excitement that Janis wouldn’t be surprised if she started singing.

“Oh they suit you,” she says.

“Thanks.” She looks down at them, clumsily tapping the heels together like Dorothy. “I’ve always wanted a pair of shoes like these but my mom always said they’re too adult for me. Though she has been whittled down from ‘not until your 18’ to ‘maybe for your birthday’.”

“You must be quite the negotiator.”

“Well, I guess. But she finds it hard to say no to me these days,” she shrugs.

“Ah.” Suddenly the light in Janis’ chest begins to dim and she finds herself cold again. “Well that’s fun.”

“Yeah…” Maddie must have picked up on the mood change because she sits back down and Janis follows her, once again picking at her nails. “So… what are you in for?”

“You sound like we’re in prison,” she jokes. She puts on a gruff voice and a stern expression and says “I’ve killed a man. I killed a man for a jar of pickles. And I’d do it again.” Maddie chuckles again, the sound sweet and light and well… happier than Janis thought possible given the circumstances. She picks at her fishnets, her chest heavily. “I’m in for leukaemia.”

“Oh,” is Maddie’s response, as well as a nod. “I’m sorry.”

“Yeah, it sucks,” she sighs. She considers what she wants to say carefully, reasoning that Maddie asked her the same. Maybe boundaries don’t exist here, or at least they’re different. Maybe discussing your cancer here is like discussing your test scores at school. “What about you?”

“My stomach,” she replies. “I started feeling weird two months ago, went to a doctor and I’ve been here ever since.”

“Two months?” Janis asks, astonished. She can barely imagine being here for a week, let alone two months. Her heart aches for herself and for Maddie, but there’s also a small spark of hope. Maddie’s been here two months and she seems strong enough. Who says she can’t?

“Yeah. I’m scheduled to finish soon though.” Maddie ducks her head, but it doesn’t stop Janis from seeing the sad expression on her little face. As she shakes her head and gives her a false-looking smile, Janis feels like she’s watching a replay of her own life.

“You’re incredibly tough,” she tells her and she watches the smile become real. She looks around the room, noticing things she hadn’t picked up on like the pile of board games in the corner and the flatscreen TV mounted on the wall. “So this is where you guys hang out?”

“Yeah. It’s usually more crowded than this,” she explains. “But you know… teenagers.”

“Hey, miss,” she says. “I’m a teenager too. And so are you.”

“Fair.” She taps her fingers on her knee in a rhythm Janis can’t quite place. “So your parents are with you?”

“Yeah,” she answers. “They just went to get me some food.”

“They seem cool.”

“I guess,” she says with a shrug. “You know. For parents. Speaking of, where are yours? Or do they just let a little kid like you sit alone in here with all the valuables.”

“I’m not a kid. I’ll be 13 in six weeks,” she tells her rather sternly. “I told my mom my feet were cold, so I asked her to go get me my fuzzy socks.” Janis nods, but quickly catches on to the flaw in Maddie’s idea.

“Those wouldn’t be the red fuzzy socks that you’re wearing underneath those boots, would it?” she asks.

“Shh,” she commands, finger to her lips. “She doesn’t need to know that!”

Janis throws her head back laughing at that. It’s like God took everything she could like about a human and condensed it into one little kid.

“Sneaky little brat,” she says approvingly. She’s keeping this one.

“Janis.” She turns and finds her parents right behind her chair, both with their hands full of goodies from the store. Definitely more than she can stomach now.

“Wow,” she says. “Did you leave any for anyone else?”

“Well we didn’t know exactly what you wanted,” her mom admits, flustered. “We did text you but you didn’t respond.”

“Sorry,” she shrugs. Her phone is both off and in her bag. There’s probably a lot she’s missed by now.

“It’s okay hon.” The three (four, including Maddie) sit in a tense, awkward silence in which everyone’s eyes avoid everyone else’s. Embarrassment flurries in Janis’ chest and she squirms in the chair, grappling in the empty air for a conversation topic.

“So what did you get?” she asks and everything comes back to normal again.

“Well, I got you… rice cakes, chips, candy bars… oh and we got you some water as well.” Janis stifles a laugh. Her parents are more than well-intentioned and her heart is warmed, but they’ve never gone this far before.

“Thanks,” she says, pulling a rice cake out of her mom’s arms. Out of the corner of her eye she notices Maddie shifting in her chair and she shares look with her mom, who drops another candy bar into her hand.

“Hey.” She barely has to stretch to poke Maddie in the arm with the candy. Her mouth falls open, the most sweet-sounding gasp that’s ever existed emitting from it and her eyes lighting up. Janis had no idea there was a way for a gasp to sound cute, but there is apparently. “Here. Take some sugar, kid.”

“Thanks!” she says. She takes the bar and weighs it in her hand, a decisive smile on her face for just a second before she slips the bar into her pocket. “For later,” she says.

Janis’ parents ask Maddie stuff Janis wouldn’t care for, about her school (as it happens, North Shore Middle School) and where she lives (again, as if happens, Edgewood Drive). All the while skirting around the obvious.

“Oh, my girlfriend lives there,” Janis remarks, breaking a rice cake in half. An empty packet is already sitting her lap; she hadn’t realised exactly how hungry skipping breakfast had made her. “Caddy Heron, you know her?”

“Heron? Is she the girl whose parents are zoologists?”  she asks.

“The very one.”

“Oh yeah, I met them!” she answers brightly. “After they moved in my parents brought them a pie. You know, the neighbourly thing…” She leans on the chair, her eyes wide and glittering as though she’s about to drop a huge secret. “You know they used to live in Kenya?”

“Yeah,” Janis chuckles. “Yeah I knew that.”

“Oh right.” That doesn’t deter Maddie though. Quite the opposite, she shuffles closer to her, eagerness written all over her little face. When she speaks, it’s in a hushed, low voice that trembles with excitement. “She’s your girlfriend?”

“Yep. I got lucky, didn’t I?”

“Yeah. She’s really pretty. Well, she was the last time I saw her.”

“Oh she’s very pretty,” she says matter-of-factly. She reaches for her phone to show Maddie all the photos of her, but the thought of turning her phone on freezes it in its path. Turning her phone on means anyone in the world can contact her…

“I thought her name was Cady though,” she goes on, oblivious to Janis’ conflict. She shoves the phone behind her and turns to Maddie, finding it easy to get lost in conversation with her. “Not Caddy.”

“It’s Caddy in my world,” she replies, making Maddie giggle.

“So how long have you two been together?”

“Since the end of school.” There’s a blush creeping across her face that’s warm and no doubt pink coloured and her insides feel warm and gooey like a melted brownie, the way she always feels when she talks about Cady. “I asked her out and then we got dinner and saw a movie and then… you know…” She wiggles her eyebrows, Maddie’s laughing face half hidden between her hands. “Okay actually it wasn’t like that. But our first date was dinner and a movie.”

“Cool,” Maddie breathes. “I can’t wait to get my first girlfriend. Which might not happen for a while…” Oh no Janis thinks. “I mean, I don’t know how to talk to girls.”

“Neither do I,” she tells her, letting out a breath. “My friend had to push me to go talk to her. If it weren’t for him we’d probably still be friends right now.” She reaches out and playfully punches Maddie’s shoulder, the pull in her gut too big to ignore. She can almost hear Damian telling her not to meddle. To which she would reply ‘how is this meddling?’. “Tell you what, kid. If you ever need a wing woman or a gay guru, you come straight to me.”

“You mean that?” Her eyes grow ever wider, to the point where Janis starts wondering if they have limits. Just like with Cady’s equations, the limit does not exist.

“Of course. Us gays have to stick together. Like Luke Skywalker and Obi-Wan Kenobi.”

“Who are those guys?” she asks, wrinkling her nose and confusion clouding her eyes. Janis opens her mouth to explain that it’s from some old (and not that good but still culturally relevant) movie, but her dad lets out an offended gasp before she can.

“I’m sorry,” he says when he’s met with one confused face and two amused ones. “I just can’t believe kids these days have never heard of Star Wars.”

“Oh, Star Wars,” Maddie says, as though it should have been obvious. “My brother loves them. Especially the old ones.”

“Which old ones?” he asks. “The old ones or the old-old ones?”

“There’s a difference?” she mumbles, looking over to Janis with an expression that says, ‘help me’.

“It’s not that important,” Janis tells her. When she sees her dad’s face, she can tell that to him it very much is. As they keep talking, they compare each other’s favourite Disney movies, finding they both have a deep love for Tangled and Frozen, but Maddie’s love for the mouse seems to far outweigh Janis as she lists off her favourite Princesses, which one she thinks she’s most like, which one she thinks Janis is most like (“you give off kind of an Elsa-Belle vibe” she tells her, which Janis is more than happy with). She also enthusiastically tells her about her plans to visit Disney World soon and Janis tells her the one in Paris is way better.

“You’ve been to Paris?”

“A few times,” she replies, nodding towards her dad. “You probably can’t tell, but he’s French. I have a whole army of cousins out there. You seen the Hunchback of Notre Dame?”

“Of course.”

“I’ve seen Notre Dame. Before it caught fire, obviously.” She blesses herself and presses a quick kiss to her fingertips. “May she RIP in peace.”

“Cool,” Maddie says. “The coolest vacation I had before this was New York.”

“Oh, I love New York,” Janis nods. “My aunt lives out there. Ever seen Broadway?”

“Yeah, we saw Lion King!” she replies. “I was like nine years old and my dad got them-”

“Janis?” Their conversation is interrupted by her nurse, who hovers in the doorway holding a clipboard and of course, a smile. “Your doctor’s ready for you.”

“Hi Nurse Lucy!” Maddie pipes up, leaning forwards in her chair.

Lucy. That was her name. Really, how could it have been anything else?

“Hi Maddie,” she says warmly, looking at the pair of them. “Making new friends?”

“Apparently, she’s the eyes and ears around here,” Janis says as she gets up. She turns back to Maddie, giving a quick wave. “See you around, kid.”

“Bye Janis.”

She stretches her legs out and hops as they walk, her body stiff from having folded itself into a chair for that long. She finishes off the rice cake and saves the other one in her pocket for later and is reminded how much she loves these little guys. Low calories (not that she cares about that), covered in chocolate and deliciously delicate. She needs to get back into these bad boys.

She also slips a bit on the floor and realises that she left her boots back with Maddie. She shrugs and makes a mental note to get them later as she steps into her room.

Her eyes land on the IV next to her bed immediately, barely acknowledging Doctor Wiley next to it. All at once, every good feeling she had built up with Maddie, every ounce of comfort and happiness is abruptly and cruelly yanked from her and she’s reminded why she’s actually here. She’s left feeling cold and winded and frozen.

Back there she could almost have tricked herself into believing she was here for a fun little vacation. So much for that.

“Janis.” She hadn’t noticed, but she’s stepped back. Where’s she going? Back to the lounge with Maddie? To the school, where Damian and Cady are? Back home?

Her mom’s hand wraps around hers and the other rubs her shoulder.

“It’s okay baby.”

“No, I know,” she says. “I know.” She forces her feet forwards, over to where the IV is. She feels her sleeves wrapping around her arms and sticking to her skin. Her arm is encased by her hand. “Okay so what’s the drill, doc?”

“Well, we’re planning to have you get a few sessions each day,” he explains. “Between two and four really. Now that we know the type of leukaemia you have and where it’s at, this is the best place to start.”  

“Sounds like fun,” she mumbles. She lowers herself on to the bed, her hand still around her arm.

“Unfortunately, it’s going to make you feel pretty bad most days,” he confesses. “But it’s going to kill the leukaemia cells as well.” She nods minutely, passively listening to him explaining the process to both her and her parents. She’s not scared of needles. At all. And she thinks that she shouldn’t be scared of this, since it’s the good thing. So why is her heart pounding so fast?

She takes off her cardigan, exposing the white t-shirt and its skull print and most importantly, her bare arms. Beneath the lights they look almost translucent. At least Nurse Lucy doesn’t have any issue finding the vein. They could be seen on Google maps like blue rivers running through a snowy mountain.

“You ready?” the nurse asks. She’s not and she never will be. But the world won’t wait for her to be ready. Nor will the cancer in her body. She twists one of the rings on her hand, a little plastic thing Cady won in an arcade game. Her fearless girl. Wouldn’t Cady want her to be fearless too?

It takes a while, but the words “I’m ready” fall from her lips and the needle goes into her vein.

“You probably know all about the sound effects by now,” Lucy explains. “Might make you a little tired, might make you feel nauseous. Or it could go the other way and make you feel stronger than normal.”

“I hope it’s the other one,” she remarks as tape is secured over her arm. “I want superpowers.”

“Wouldn’t it be lovely if it worked that way?” she replies as she straightens up. “Okay. This is going to take around two hours to-”

“Two hours?” she echoes in disbelief. She looks up at the little bag at the top of her IV. There’s no way there’s two hours’ worth of medicine in there.

“Afraid so,” she says sympathetically, patting Janis’ shoulder.

“What am I meant to do for the next two hours?”

“There’s a TV,” the nurse reminds her. “Normally we’d let you do this in the lounge, but since it’s your first go we want to monitor you.”

“Consider me monitored,” she replies dryly, sneaking a glance up at the bag. Absolutely no change.

“You’ve got your TV in here,” her nurse reminds her. “And I’m sure there’s loads of gadgets in your bag to keep you occupied while you wait.” She turns more to her parents than to Janis, no doubt trying to ease their worries. “I’ve got a sixteen year old. She’s never off that phone.”

She leaves with the instruction that Janis keep hydrated throughout and a promise to call back in later. Her mom turns on the TV and flicks through channels even though it doesn’t have half the channels it does at home. She settles on some cute home renovation show that should normally get her creative buzz going and lead to hours on Pinterest, but instead she only half pays attention to it, the rest of her mind jumping from the IV above her head to the flowers she’s doodling in her sketchbook to her still-off phone that sits coldly in her lap.

“How’s everyone in school?” her dad asks, likely aware of what he’s doing. She taps her fingers on the screen as though it were on and takes a swing of water.

“I’m sure they’re all fine,” she says, adding another flower to her doodle. “Damian can keep me updated with the tea tonight.”

Janis never thought she’d miss school. Even disregarding the ugly history that’s followed her around the halls, she just never grew attached to it. She’d rolled her eyes at people who told her she’d cry on her last day and swore up and down to Damian, and later Cady, that they’d be the only things she’s miss. It wasn’t like she was counting down the days to graduation, but at the same time, she wasn’t going to lose any sleep over moving on.

But now North Shore is the only place she wants to be. For the first time she wishes she were in physics writing about gravity and mass or in history learning the severely edited version of the Civil War. She’d take the cafeteria food and its health violations over corner store rice cakes any day and at least at school there’s a change of scenery every forty minutes or so. And more than anything, she misses her friends. Going this long without Damian’s warm hearted words of wisdom or Cady’s soft spoken support has been physically painful, but she’s even found herself missing Karen and Gretchen too. Who knows, maybe if this year was going normally, they’d have even become friends. She could never imagine not being in North Shore would hurt as much as it does, but here she is, sitting in near-silence with a deep, harrowing ache in her chest that’s not from the cancer nor the medicine. Like a lot of stuff she’s come across today, it’s something she’ll have to get used it.

Even with that agony it takes almost an hour for her to work up the courage to open her phone, just as the medicine is beginning to cloud her head. She presses the screen into the bed until the buzzing and pinging and ringing stop, the corner of her mouth twitching up. She’s never been so popular.

On Facebook and in all her DMs are messages from people from every cafeteria table; the band geeks, the debate team, the dance team and both sets of jocks all send her good wishes. The messages range from the stilted and awkward to the over-emotional; some offer her two to three lines hoping she’s okay and some give her miniature essays telling her how horrible it yes (tell me something I don’t know she thinks)  and how brave she is and if she needs anything, anything at all, they’re here for her. Even the Christian believers have sent her little prayers, despite the clashes she’s had with them over the years. She guesses she appreciates it, despite what her inner atheist-slash-witch thinks. Isn’t it nice to have people thinking of you?

When she goes back to her feed, her face is the first thing she sees. Not her own post and not one of her friend’s either, but one put up by the North Shore account. It’s her standing in the art room holding the prize she got from the art expo, grinning at the camera so proudly you wouldn’t guess she’d just fought with someone the night before.

‘Shout out to our brave student Janis Sarkisian, who is battling leukaemia this year. Janis is a bright star in our art program and co-founder of our new LGBT+ society. The North Shore Lions are roaring with you every step of the way, Janis!!’

Well that’s almost sweet, she thinks. Even if the idea of lions roaring at her is a little off-putting. What’s even more off-putting is the comments on it, all sobbing about how awful it is for her, people she’s never met preaching about how brave she is and how they know she’ll fight like hell. Even though she’s alone in this room, she feels hundreds of eyes on her, none of them familiar, and the attention makes her squirm.

Biting her nail, she clicks out of Instagram and takes in a breath before checking her texts instead. She hopes to find some sanity and order in there and she almost does… until she finds a text from someone. The contact isn’t saved in her phone, but she knows who it is, and it sparks fury and disgust in her gut.

“Hey Janis. Hope you’re doing okay. We all got told about it in school. We’re all thinking of you. -Regina xx.”

“Seriously?” Janis sighs, not realising she’s spoken out loud.

“Seriously what?” her mom asks with poorly masked concern. Her cheeks grow warm as she shows her mom the text and an uncertain look spreads across her mother’s face.

“Well that’s nice, isn’t it?” she says. Asks, more like.

“Not at all.” Regina George isn’t nice, ever. “And does she need to sign off her texts like that. This isn’t Gossip Girl.”

Thankfully, there are texts rom Cady and Damian to restore balance to the universe. At some point last night, she and Damian stopped using words and started using GIFs. The last thing in their chat is her sending him one of two kittens cuddling, obviously meant to be them. And after she fell asleep, Cad had texted her a sweet good night she managed to miss. Followed by a voice message, one that’s earnest and quiet and sent at 2:31am. She pops her headphones in, a myriad of emotions stirring in her foggy brain, and presses play.

“Hey. It’s me. Of course it’s me who else would it be? I just um…. This is scary. I don’t know why I’m telling you that, you know. You know more than anyone. Anyway I just wanted to let you know that I’m not going anywhere. I meant it. And whenever you get scared or it gets intense… just call me. Or text me. Or even think of me, okay? Just think of me. I miss you. A lot. I know I saw you today but I miss you. I… you mean a lot to me, Janis. And I know you’re going to kick this thing’s butt. I know you will and I hope you know that you know you will. I also really hope you’re asleep right now instead of listening to this because if you’re not asleep I’m coming over there. I wish I could come over there. I wish I could come with you… Okay, okay, I’m getting too sappy here, so I’m going to go to sleep now. Bye, Janis. I’ll see you as soon as I can.”

Janis lets out something that’s halfway between a laugh and a sob. It reflects what’s going on in her head perfectly; all those bubbling and complex feelings boiled down to ‘half happy, half sad’. She’s fairly confident that’s the way she’ll go on for the next few weeks, and some days will have more sad than others. And she bets that the happiness is going to be harder to come by and harder to fight for on those days. So she makes a start. She sends Cady a quick ‘lol that’s gay’ message, followed up by a thank you and a little gay message of her own. Then she replays the message and feels the smile on her face grow a bit wider each time she does.

[snarkwrites]

fake fic title - Glass Houses

Bless you for this title, anonymous. I wanted to say that before I say anything else. Now that I have, I just want to say that my brain wanted to go two totally different directions with this ( and I’m lowkey afraid you’re not in either fandom, but I hope you enjoy it in the same ) so that’s exactly what I did. It’s one title done two totally different ways?

Heads up, the stranger things one is kind of an au of my own au, oops rip me.

Both are kinda angsty. Kinda. There’s also banter.

Tag Squad : ( for the SOA version ) @rampagewriting | @chasingeverybreakingwave | @kyleoreillysknee | @sassymox 

( for the stranger things version ) @rampagewriting | 

[ tag list doc - add yourself or I won’t tag ] | [ masterlist ] | [ keep ‘em comin - these are hella fun ] 

                                  { STEVE HARRINGTON x CHARLOTTE (oc) }

Nancy caught up to me just as I got out of Jackson’s car and started to walk towards the double doors of Hawkins High. She glanced from me to the retreating black Impala and bit her lip as if she wanted to say something. Before she could, Barb caught up to both of us.

“Did your dad get a new car?” Barb asked, letting out a low and appreciative whistle at the car driving away before meeting my gaze.

“Nope.”

“Who was that? He looked like he was at least 21.” Nancy’s question was blunt and filled with concern when she asked it. I shrugged and bit my lip, waiting a second or two before answering.

“That was this guy I met over the summer. His name’s Jackson. He was one of the other counselors at that camp I worked at. Speaking of guys, where’s your new one?” I asked the question mostly to get her off my back, the last thing I wanted this early in the morning was one of her lectures.

It wasn’t like she had any room at all to talk, her letters over the summer had been filled with instances of her sneaking out, sneaking around with some guy. She’d been vague about a name, but honestly, I half expected it to be Jonathan Byers. This sweetheart of a guy in our grade that we’ve known since we were babies… And maybe I’ve always thought Nancy made goo goo eyes at constantly, even if she’d die before admitting it.

Before she ever even got to answer me, Steve Harrington appeared out of nowhere and I swallowed hard, giving him my best blank look for a few seconds. “Are you lost, Harrington? The jackasses and their cackling hens are all that way.” I nodded towards where he’d parked his new BMW, where Tommy H currently stood, exhaling smoke through his nostrils and laughing about it. I rolled my eyes before tearing them away.

“Ouch. I totally forgot how grouchy you are first thing in the morning, Charlie.” Steve mumbled, lazily pulling Nancy closer.

I tried, but before I could stop myself, I was flinching a little. Luckily, no one seemed to notice it because Nancy and Steve were all over one another and that only had me tensing just a little more. Yep. this is going to be one hell of a long year.

“It’s Charlotte. I like Charlotte now.” I licked my lips and finally retorted at Steve as I  shifted my backpack from one side of my shoulder to the other, tapping my foot impatiently against the concrete of the sidewalk.

Nancy looked from me to Steve and when he pulled her closer, I couldn’t help the split second flinch that came. I bit my lip and spoke up. “This is the dreamy guy, Nancy?” I gave a light snort of laughter and blatantly ignored the pout Steve sent my way as he stared at me over the rim of his dark tinted sunglasses. 

What, did she lose her entire goddamn mind this summer? Steve? I’d gotten my hopes up to coming back to find out that she and Jonathan were finally a thing because I just have a feeling about those two.. And I wasn’t the only one, either. One look at Barb quickly told me how she felt about this whole thing and I gave a covert nod, sure we’d both be trying to puzzle it out later between the two of us. I couldn’t wait to hear what Barb had to say about it, actually, because I wasn’t the only one Steve ditched as a friend back then.

“Mhm!” Nancy gave a soft and happy laugh and I had to really bite my tongue. 

,, hello, has she totally forgotten the sleepover in 8th  where I cried because Steve told me he couldn’t be my best friend anymore because it was ‘weird’? She was all about calling him a jerk then.”  I had to literally fight to keep from saying it.

Rather than say any of what I was thinking, what Barb was probably also thinking, I gave a soft laugh and eyed Steve, shrugging. “Have fun with that, I suppose.” was the best I could come up with. Nancy eyed me and bit her lip nervously and Barb tensed, her hand going to her mouth. I literally couldn’t take another second of Nancy and Steve all over one another, so I turned to Barb and asked mildly, “Hey, do you wanna walk down to the girls room with me? So I can show you that thing my aunt got for me?”

“Wh-” she almost asked what thing but I carefully nudged her side and she nodded, the two of us hurrying away. The second the door to the girls room shut behind us, I was pacing and ranting about the whole thing and when I lightly punched the paper towel dispenser on the wall next to the row of sinks, I cradled one hand in the other and swore quietly.

“Feel better now? Did you get it all out? Look… All I’m saying here is that I got over the way Steve  ditched all of us a while ago… Maybe there’s another reason you haven’t?”

“Don’t you dare shrink me, Barbara Holland.” I pouted, going quiet before finally admitting to it quietly. “For as long as I can remember, it’s always been me and Steve. We were so close. So close and I just…”

“You kinda fell for him.” Barbara finished and I sighed, putting my back to the bathroom stall and dramatically rolling my eyes upward. I didn’t even have to nod to acknowledge that yes, she was 100 percent right. Somewhere between kindergarten and 8th grade, even though I know it’s stupid and I realize that nobody knows who they love until they’re much older, more mature.. A small sliver of my heart was Steve Harrington. Then he took it and he broke that sliver that belonged to him and since then, I’ve just kind of… Silently been bitter.

The bathroom door burst open and Nancy stepped inside, laughing and lit up, practically glowing. I shared a look with Barb and prepared myself to put on a tolerant face. A happy face, even. Barb gave me a nod and Nancy spoke up.

“What’d your aunt get you?”

“Oh, uh…” my brain crapped out for a minute, and she raised a brow, looking from me to Barbara.

“She thought she bought it but she left it home.” Barb stepped in with the quick save and I mouthed a thank you to her when Nancy was too busy reapplying her lip gloss to notice. “So, what do you think? I mean, I’m still shocked that he likes me.”

,, you’re honestly not the only one.” the thought came accompanied by an almost crippling wave of guilt, especially in light of what Barb and I just discussed. I was getting the distinct impression that this year was not going to be an easy one at all. 

The tardy bell had the three of us dashing down the hall for class and I slid into my seat with such force that I bounced lightly off of Jonathan Byers side. He glanced up and over at me for a few seconds. 

“Are you okay?” he gave a smirk as our eyes met and he asked the question.

“Yeah, yeah. I’m good.” I said it quickly. Way too quickly. He chuckled quietly and nodded to the textbook I’d just dug out of my backpack. “This is History. Not Biology.”

I locked eyes with him, cheeks burning hot all over. And this literally had me blinking in shock because everything I’d just thought about Nancy being with Steve -and exactly how flustered he’d gotten me in the hallway just popping up like he had, it all came rushing back and I really had to work at shoving it down.

Because I wasn’t like her. I was not going to break girl code. I knew that she’d always kind of secretly liked Jonathan and that most likely, Steve Harrington was just a phase. I also knew that I was totally overreacting and yet...

,, Says the girl whose still being so silly enough to even remotely think she actually loved Steve at one point in time. Or that it matters at all in the grand scheme of life and stupidly refuses to just let go like she needs to.”  

“Thanks.” I muttered, digging around a little more in my backpack. When I produced the pack of cinnamon flavored gum, I caught Jonathan gazing at the pack in my hands almost longingly, so with a shrug, I did my best covert lean-in, holding the pack out to him, giving a playful pout when he didn’t reach and grab immediately.

“Oh come on, Jon. Live a little, doll. The teacher’s old, nearly blind and mostly deaf. He’s never gonna know you’re chewing gum.” I giggled softly. Jonathan chuckled at what I said and he took a stick from the pack. 

I went back to paying attention to the textbook and about halfway during the class, a folded square of paper landed neatly on the corner of my desk. I glanced up and around, and after confirming that the teacher obviously hadn’t seen it happen, I slipped my hand out, gripping the folded square and slid it back towards me, my bracelets jingling and making me pause a second.

The note was from Steve.

I’m sorry. I miss being your friend, okay? I really miss it. I hope this doesn’t get weird...

There were several different ways I could’ve gone. If I bothered responding. But frankly, the fact that he’d ditch me and Barb like we hadn’t been best friends our entire lives… just because he wanted to be popular and we weren’t good enough at the time… I didn’t bother answering. Letting him sweat it out was way easier. 

                                   JUICE ORTIZ x HAZEL TELLER (oc)

“ What’s she doin here, huh?” Juice asked the question to my brother Jax as loudly as possible and I tensed at the chill in his voice, biting my lip. I didn’t turn around immediately because if I did, I knew he’d take one look at me and know he’d hurt me a little. But he was getting good at that lately. So dismissive.

“She’s gonna work the bar for us until she finds a job, man.” Jax exhaled a drag from the cigarette pressed between his lips and finished off the glass of bourbon I’d poured him before the others came in. “Is there gonna be a problem, Ortiz?”

“Just wonderin.” Juice grumbled quietly.

I was finally pulled together enough at this point that I could turn around and face him. With the sweetest smile I could muster, I poured him a glass of his favorite beer and silently shoved it right at him. When a little of it sloshed up over the rim and splattered on the front of his white tee shirt, I shrugged and bit my lip before turning away again.

Naturally, it was Tig who spoke up, clearing his throat. “You two gonna act like this all the time? If the tension gets any thicker in here, I’m gonna bust a nut.” 

“Jesus Christ, Trager.” Jax coughed, glaring at the other man. “That is my sister, man. I don’t wanna think about that shit.” 

I turned and gave Tig a teasing smirk. “What tension?”

Oh, I know perfectly well what he’s talking about. Nobody’s forgotten the fact that way back… before this MC bullshit crept into his life… Juice and I dated. Then when he pledged, we broke up because at the time, I didn’t want the danger and the pain this life has been known to cause.

Not to mention dear old stepdad. It was pretty much either break things off or risk Clay trying to kick his goddamn head in. Or so I thought at the time. Apparently, I found myself thinking bitterly as I wiped down the bar top, I was wrong because here Juice is, a full member of the Sons. 

Obviously, the fact that I’m here and working at the MC would show that my stance on that is changed. And you wouldn’t be wrong, it has. It took me leaving to realize that I threw away a really good thing. A near fucking perfect thing. Just because I was afraid of both letting down my guard and allowing myself to really love Juice Ortiz like he deserved and the thought of losing him due to something happening. 

So, I came back. And naturally, now he hates me.

[xnovamore]

They Mean Everything To Me

Written for @ft-wwtdp Day 21 Prompt: She don’t need nobody to be her man” and Day 24 Prompt: “They mean everything to me”

This is apart of my ’Home is Where They Are’ series which is just happy Erzajane family fluff.

Read on Ao3

The house was quiet when Erza got back from the guild.

Too quiet.

It was mid-afternoon on a Thursday which meant Rhea should be trying to squeeze in some tv time before dinner, Andre should be just waking up from his afternoon nap, and Mirajane should be in the kitchen deciding what she was going to make Erza cook for dinner. They had a routine where they swapped dinner days Sunday-Thursday, ordered takeout Fridays, had dinner at a restaurant on Saturdays, and ate at the guild on Sundays. Thursday dinner was usually a left over of stuff they didn’t use the rest of the week making them team up with something creative, so they didn’t have to drag an 11-year old and a toddler to the market on Thursday night.

Sure enough, Erza found her wife in the kitchen mulling over prepared iteams. Still, it was too quiet. Something was off.

“Mira?”

No answer. Instead of speaking, Mirajane slowly turned allowing Erza to get a good glimpse of her expression.

Its one all too familiar. The bitten lip, tense body language, raising panic displayed so clearly in her eyes.

Oh gosh, it was about the kids then.

“Erza!” Mira hissed suddenly very very serious. “I-I think Rhea’s upset she doesn’t have a father.”

Silence.

“What the-Mirajane?!”

“Wait no!” Mirajane latched onto her wife’s wrist not letting the other woman shake her off. “Listen to me! I’m serious!”

“What is this about?” Erza moved them over to their breakfast bar. She sat down pulling her wife into her lap trying to fight down the rising panic her partner’s words caused.

“Tell me everything but please start from the beginning.”

“Well its what Rhea said when she got home from school”

“When I said you needed to eat more baby, I didn’t mean me” Mira cooed to the toddler in her arms. She got was a wide toothy smile in return.

They really should talk to Wendy about this biting phase. Little Andre had chewed on Rhea’s dolls, drooled over Erza’s scrolls, and bit holes through more than one of Mira’s dresses. This behavior was to be expected from a teething toddler, but that didn’t make it any easier to deal with.

She shifted Andre onto her hip and ran her freed arm under the sink’s cold water. Andre had mostly calmed down now running his tanned hands through her white hair. Raising Andre was an experience. They had adopted Rhea when she was already a child, an independent one at that. She was a bright girl that didn’t need much discipline or guidance. She just required a lot of attention. Rhea used to follow Mira and/or Erza around the house telling them all about her day, what she did, who she talked too, etc. She’d even climb into their bed at night still in the middle of a story about something that happened days ago. She was their little chatterbox, and they loved that, until she got older and suddenly they had to ask how her day was. Now at 11 Rhea didn’t tell them everything about her day like she did when she was 8 and 9. Erza and Mirajane were slowly being shut out more from their daughter’s day-to-day life, especially her school life.

Mirajane teaches Magic 101 classes for the children of the guild 3 days a week. She brings Rhea along despite the girl having no magic herself because both Mira and Erza decided it was still important for her to learn about it being surrounded by wizards. Rhea also attended a regular school with other children without magic during the week. They decided it would be a good option for her to have opportunities outside of wizarding. (Secretly, the thought of her daughter never going into the dangerous and unpredictable life of a wizard was more comforting to Mira then she would voice out loud.)

Right on time, the front door slammed open and small feet could be heard coming across the doorway. Mirajane turned around in surprise to see Rhea, still fresh in her school outfit, lingering by the kitchen entrance.

“Oh.” She gasped before quickly swallowing down her astonishment. Rhea had started going straight to her room after school a couple months ago. Today was obviously different. Judging by her squirming, she obviously wanted to talk.

Biting back a smile, Mirajane turned the sink off and faced her daughter. “Hey hunny, how was school.”

“It was okay.” Rhea moved forward to lightly squeeze Andre’s toes. The toddler laughed and made grabby hands at his sister indicating wanting to go to her. Mira handed Andre to her and started pulling out the ingredients for dinner. She heard the two playing behind her until Andre’s uneven footsteps ran out of the kitchen.

“Can I help make dinner?”

“Of course, hunny!”

They worked in silence before Rhea broke it. “Do you remember the Rose girl I told you about.”

“The one with the wizard father? Yes, I remember her.”

“Well her dad came into lunch today and brought her this big gift basket full of chocolate flowers. It was because he was out on a job and missed her performing in the play last week. Anyways Rose was really happy, and everyone spent all lunch talking about all things their dads do for them cause they were jealous of Rose’s awesome basket.”

“Oh? Well did she share with them?”

“Well yeah but that’s not the point mom.” Mirajane looked over to see Rhea frowning down at the table. “I just-it was sweet you know? It was really nice, and everyone was talking about all the stuff their dads do for them and I just…I don’t have that.”

Rhea shook her head sending her red curls bouncing across her face. “It’s stupid but I just couldn’t help to think of that. Anyways I’m going to go watch t.v. till dinners done.”

And Rhea walked right out of the kitchen not noticing the shock her words induced in her mother.

“Okay…that does sound bad.” Erza admitted.

“See!”

“But it’s something fixable.”

“Do you have a plan then?”

A killer smile, “You know I do.”

~

Rhea walked down the hill leading to the entrance of her school carefully. A concerned frown appeared on her face as she attempted to continue walking forward without jostling the basket in her hands. She was almost to the bottom when a voice called her name. Rhea glanced behind her to see Rose skirting down the hill.

“Hey!” Rose smiled big and wide as usual.

“Hey.” She shifted the basket in her arms again. It was getting heavier the longer she held it.

“Ohh what’s that?! Is that a candy basket?”

“Yeah. I uh, I told my moms about what your dad did yesterday. I think they misunderstood what I said.”

She didn’t tell Mama Mira about Rose’s dad giving her the gift basket in school because she wanted one. She just thought it was a pretty awesome thing to do.

She looked over at Rose now smiling a bit thinking of yesterday. Rose was by far the nicest girl in their class, and half of the class either loved or hated her for it. A lot of the meaner remarks about Rose were targeted at her looks and her father. Her dad had some sort of magic that turned his skin gray, his eyes red, and his hair the color of ash. Her mom, on the other hand, had a glowing brown skin tone, a few shades lighter than Rhea’s own dark skin, and chestnut brown hair that was always pulled back into a bun when she dropped Rose off in the mornings. Rose got mix features from the two of them with light skin similar to Mama Erza’s, sun-bleached blonde hair, and really pretty eyes that look purple in sunlight. Rose was a little bigger than most of the other girls in class too and they tried to use that to make fun of her before Rhea put a stop to it. They’ve been friends ever since.

And maybe it was seeing Rose, whose been made fun of because of her dad, run and jump proudly into her father’s arms in the crowded cafeteria that made Rhea say what she did yesterday. But she didn’t mean to insinuate that she was unhappy with having two moms instead of a mom and a dad. No, she just meant she wondered what it would be like to have a dad that came to see her first thing after a job. But last night before bed, she realized that she didn’t need to wonder about that. She’s already lived it whenever her Mamas come back from jobs and smother her as if they haven’t seen her in years instead of days. And her room was filled with gifts from all over the world brought back from jobs. Rhea had gone to sleep last night knowing that she didn’t need a dad when she had the two of them. She had forgotten all about it the next morning until she came down the stairs to find a brightly decorated left-over Easter basket filled with chocolate swords, wings, hearts and bunnies. Her moms smiled so brightly when they gave it to her that she accepted the basket with a confused thank you and left for school.

“These are so cool! Why are there 4 different ones?”

“I guess there supposed to resemble our family.” Rhea answered taking a closer look. “The swords are obviously Mama Erza. The wings resemble one of Mama Mira’s takeovers. The bunny’s probably Andre since that’s what Mama Erza calls him. And the hearts me.” Rhea blushed a little. She was not about to tell Rose of the time she made her moms heart shaped cards for Valentine’s day. Way too embarrassing.

“That’s so sweet! They probably spent all night working on these. Your moms are pretty cool.”

“Yeah,” Rhea smiled. “Yeah they are.”

Today was Friday meaning both her mothers were going to be home early with takeout. She’d explain that this was a big misunderstanding, but she still appreciated her mothers love and didn’t need anyone else but them. They’d all cuddle on the couch and watch Andre attempt to chew through the head of the bunny she got him for Christmas last year. And tonight, she’d grab Andre and they’d sleep in their moms room.

For now, she glanced at her friend. “Do you wanna share some of these with me?”

“Of course! Are you gonna share with the rest of the class too?”

“Are you kidding?” Rhea scoffed. “I’m not nice like you. If those freeloaders want some their gonna have to pay.”

Rhea went home that night with a pocket full of jewels and a content smile on her face.

[patsisfly]

Someone to Cuddle- Jimmy Vesey

Prompt: 20 and 21

A/N: you can find the prompts here if you wanna request :)

Prompt List   Masterlist

You’ve had the worst day seemingly of your life. Granted, nothing absolutely terrible had happened- just a lot of little things combined with the fact that you are absolutely exhausted. You had been on the phone late last night with Jimmy, you’re flirty friend.

He has been on the road for almost two weeks, and last night once he got home he called you, begging you to come over and hang out. But with work early the next morning, you refused, knowing that it would turn into a late night if you went over.

The two of you had become fast friends during your last year at Harvard, and once you got a job in the same city he was drafted to, your relationship grew even stronger. Now you’d both went through little phases of crushing on the other, but a romantic relationship just hadn’t really been on the horizon. That hasn’t stopped you from drunkenly making out at bars or in his bed, but nothing more.

Anyways, you had a bad day. And all you wanted was a long hot shower and sleep. Maybe some food.

Inside your apartment, you head straight for your bathroom to undress and get started on that shower. But your doorbell rings and you groan. Wrapping a towel around your naked body, you run to the front door and peak through the peep hole. Opening the door, you groan again.

“Jimmy, you have a key.”

His eyes widen at your towel-clad body and you roll your eyes as he slowly walks in. “Woah, Y/N this isn’t what I had in mind when I was coming over but if that’s what you want...” he starts taking his shirt off and you roll your eyes at him again.

“God, Jimmy. I was just gonna shower.”

He laughs, and heads to the kitchen in search of food. “I don’t really have anything,” you say, clutching the towel around you. “Want me to order pizza?” He asks, turning around to face you.

You nod and smile softly, realizing that pizza is exactly what you need. He looks at you curiously, probably knowing that something is wrong. “You okay?”

You sigh. “I just had a really bad day at work, and somebody kept me up all night on the phone,” you tease. His cheeks get red and he apologizes, saying he was just wound up from getting home and wanted to see you. You tell him you were just joking, because how could you stay mad at him when he looks at you like that.

You shower while Jimmy gets comfortable on your couch, saying he’ll pick out a movie and order the pizza. You don’t mean to take so long under the warm water, but once you’re out and changed into some fuzzy pajama pants and a sweatshirt, the pizza has already been delivered. “You look so cozy,” Jimmy says to you with a smirk on his face.

You just ignore him and sit down next to him on the couch, reaching over to grab a slice of pepperoni pizza from the table. Jimmy leaves a few minutes later to get you a glass of wine, and you thank him once he sits back down and starts the movie.

After scarfing down a slice, you move closer to Jimmy’s body, letting your head settle on his shoulder. His body is so solid but comfortable, that you can’t help but doze off.

“You’re so cute when you’re half asleep like this.”

You groan as he pokes your side teasingly, trying to get you to laugh probably. “Sto-op I’m tired,” you whine, and wrap your arms around his bicep to still his movements. He chuckles low and deep.

“C’mon Y/N wake up, it’s not even nine at night,” he pleads. “We haven’t talked in like two weeks.”

You open your eyes and sit up straighter. “That is not true,” you defend. Did he forget the phone call last night? Or the FaceTime the night after his game against the Lightning? “Not in person!” He explains, trying to win this conversation. You two were always so competitive with each other.

“So?”

“So I missed you. And I know you missed me too,” he says, wiggling his eyebrows. You really aren’t in a joking around mood though.

You shake your head at him, cross your arms and stare straight ahead at the tv. He sighs and scootches closer to you, wrapping his arm around your shoulders and trapping you against him. “Okay okay, I’ll be quiet,” he promises, knowing how you get when you’re tired.

You shrug his arm off you then, and let out a frustrated breath. “I’ve had a rough day and honestly all I want right now is a drink and someone to cuddle with,” you practically yell. “So can you just help me out with that?”

He bites his lip to stop from grinning widely at you, and nods compliantly. You mumble a thank you and move into the space between his open arm and chest. That’s more like it. A quiet Jimmy and a glass of wine to lull you into a nice sleep.

“You really do look cute though, all sleepy like this,” he whispers. You smile and nuzzle into his chest. “Stop flirting with me, Jimmy,” you mumble with a smile.

He laughs, his chest rumbling and vibrating against you. “Hey, you like when I flirt with you.”

“Oh so this is for my benefit?” You tease, sitting up and resting your forehead on his.

“I mean, it’s fun for me too I guess,” he says and smiles, pushing forward to peck your lips.

“Jimmy!” You scold.

“What? You never complained before,” he reminds you while closing the space between your mouths for the second time. You can’t argue with that.

His mouth closes on yours, warming you up and helping you to relax. His lips are a little bit chapped but familiar and nice. Your arms wrap around his neck and his fall around your hips, in a way that feels just as familiar as his lips.

Things don’t get too heated, they rarely do between the two of you. It’s more of a lazy makeout, just something to take the edge off. One of his hands rests on your ass while the other runs up and down your back slowly, almost willing you to relax from your hard day.

Your tongues slide against each other’s in a very controlled manner, neither one of you willing to get more desperate.

Eventually, the kisses become more chaste, and soft, just little pecks to calm all the excitement. Tonight was not going to be the night that you took it any further than making out.

You hum in appreciation for him as you separate. Always knowing how to cheer you up and calm you down. “That was nice,” he says to you as you settle against his chest like before. You nod in agreement. “Now please let me sleep.”

“Okay okay, I’ll be quiet for real this time,” he adds with a chuckle.

Thank God.

[twinsimskeletons]

Bett Goldfinch for @futurecarrie‘s DRSE2

This dude has a chronic problem of never taking anything seriously. It's not even that he hides behind a confident exterior, he literally doesn't get bothered by anything. His goals in life are to play football, look good, and get the ladies. Everything else is water off a duck's back. 

He plays the social game and he plays it well. He's pretty perceptive which helps with this, knowing what makes people tick, and what to say to get himself off the hook. He's rich with a heavy inheritance, doesn't want to work a day in his life, and coasts on by using the gift of the gab. He could easily be called the ultimate douchebag, and that would be just as fitting, but no; he's the ultimate jock.

(Also, he's one of those "only real men can wear pink" guys but sort of ironically does it. Would probably also wear sandals with socks but I couldn't make myself do that. He just likes getting a rise out of people, getting under their skin).

Traits: Perceptive, Athletic, Mean Spirited, Irresistible, Charismatic

Questions under the cut:

1.)    What is the most important thing to them? (meaning a person or thing specifically i.e. friends/family) 

For all his confidence and inability to care seriously about almost anything, the only two important things to him would be his old man (who is his coach and inspiration, and someone Bett wants to always make proud, but is super pressuring and encourages anything that makes Bett the ultimate jock, i.e. being an arse) and his ability to play sport, particularly american football.

2.)    Do they have any deep, dark secrets? What are they? Is their biggest secret the fact they killed someone, or is it more like they wet the bed until they were 8? 

Bett genuinely hates his little sister. She’s thirteen and a brat, and he has purposefully left her in tricky situations like abandoning her when shopping, giving her bad directions, making her run dangerous errands. He hides this from his father, who would be disappointed because family is important in america or some shit like that.

3.)    If something bad happened (i.e. their mum was killed), are they more likely to cry or get angry?

Bett would get mad. Not red-mist angry, but cunning, deadly mad. it would be like he was on the field. His vision would narrow to his target for revenge.

4.)    What’s one of their favourite generic items (meaning something that isn’t special to them in any way, but if someone gave it them they’d be very happy)?

Anything sports related (but none of those ‘fake’ sports like golf, darts, snooker, anything that doesn’t require a tonne of physical training. He also thinks tennis is crap). Anything relating to social status too, like a gift that showed he was someone’s favourite, or a crush.

5.)    What is one of their least favourite generic items (again meaning something that isn’t special/unique to them (like a chocolate bar or something))?

A fake trophy or award that he hasn’t earned. He has a massive ego and needs his achievements rewarded, but fake rewards are not tolerated. Also anything he needs to spend effort making, doing, or looking after. Don’t give him a fucking tamagotchi or he’ll hammer it to pieces. 

6.)    What’s their relationship like with their parents?

His mother has always been distant with him and dotes on the sister (Alexa), perhaps a reason he hates her as he always has to be best, but he doesn’t really give a fuck about his mother (though he wouldn’t be disrespectful of her). His old man is everything. 

7.)    Do they have any fans (if their talent permits them to have fans)? Do they like said fans?

He would definitely have fans for being Awesome at Sport. and yes, he loves his fans because they feed his ego. Also they sleep with him sometimes, so, you know.

8.)    Do they have any siblings? How do they feel about said siblings?

Covered.

9.)    What three words would they use to describe themselves?

Awesome. Sexy. Legend.

10.)  What three words would others use to describe them?

bit-of-an-arse (he covers his arsehole ways quite well, esp. because he is pretty charming to make up for it), attractive, frustrating.

11.) Any fears?

Somehow losing the ability to play sport - an injury for example - and fading into obscurity. 

12.) If they were offered 1,000,000 of their currency to do something immoral, would they do it?

Mmm it would depend. Killing someone, no, because Bett doesn’t value money that highly. He’s in it for the fame and stardom, not the cash, though it is a convenient plus. 

13.)  What’s their stance on religion?

Sport is his religion, but he’s Christian by birth and his dad is Very Religious so he would pray before every game and say grace and go through the motions without it really having any say in his morals. He wouldn’t say God’s name in vain because his dad would come down with the fury of a thousand suns, so tends to say “oh my G,” instead, or ‘Christo’

14.) What’s their stance on the supernatural?

Bett doesn’t believe in it, but if he saw it with his own two eyes he’d accept it because his senses don’t lie (he’s a simple man). He wouldn’t believe anyone else until he did see it, though.

15.)  If they had one day left to live, what would they do?

Play a game, enjoy the rest of the day with his adoring fans.

16.)  What makes the earth turn according to them: Money or love (or is it because when the earth was a gas cloud it started to spin and hasn’t quite grown out of that phase yet) ?

Why does that matter? Bett doesn’t question these things. It turns because it turns. Maybe because God made it turn.

17.)  Knowledge, power or relationships: what’s the most important?

Power. Power in fame, in particular, or brute strength.

18.)  Do they like animals? What’s their favourite?

Bett doesn’t mind animals if they’re not in his way, being a nuisance or needs to be cared for. He thinks raccoons are funny because they annoy his neighbours.

19.)  Any weird talents (besides their ultimate/shsl) that they’re secretly proud of (like rapping for example)?

He’s pretty good at The Sex. He can dance the typical white boy dances, like the worm. He can do a ridiculous number of press ups and run for miles.

20.)  Tell me a random story about them!

Once upon a time Bett’s little sister was screaming and crying and generally sending him up the wall, so he covered her mouth to stop her without realising he actually covered her nose too. She almost died before his mother came in and realised what was happening (to be fair, he was also young-ish and didn’t understand what he was doing). It was then that he realised a) he was less caring than other people and b) he had to hide that under a layer of charm or he’d get into big trouble and be a social outcast.

21.) Do they have any illnesses or disabilities?

Bett looks down on weakness. But he has mild dyslexia. he just doesn’t consider that a problem since he shouldn’t need to read or write or do maths. People can do it for him.

22.)  Left handed or right handed?

Left handed for almost everything, but he uses scissors and writes with his right hand because that’s how he was taught by his teachers and father (because left handedness is a sign of the devil or whatever).

23.)  How would they react to being locked up in a school with no foreseeable time of leaving?

Can he play sport? No? Then man, he is pissed off. He wants out so he can be reunited with his fame. But, similarly, he’d also figure that said fame would get him freed at some point so he might as well enjoy it, if the surrounding area is luxurious, as he deserves.

24.) Will they miss their old high school? Why?

Nah. Bett doesn’t miss people or things. Waste of energy.

25.) Do they like the outdoors? If so, what’s their favourite outdoor activity and any memories linked to that?

Bett likes the outdoors because it lets him play sport, but he doesn’t care for it other than that. His favourite activity would be american football, his best memory being when he was still a rising star and helped his team reach a very coveted title or w/e the Big Thing would be for american football lmao. Do they get man of the matches? If so, he would have remembered getting that.

26.) How important is their talent to them? Does it not mean much or would they die for it?

Bett would die for it, yeah. Sports and the subsequent fame is the most important thing to him, the only thing that makes life worth living.

[jaxxis]

Name: Nicholas Reagan

Ultimate Prankster

@futurecarrie

CC hair is here, there is no CC clothes.

1.)    What is the most important thing to them? (meaning a person or thing specifically i.e. friends/family)  

The most important thing to Nick is his dog, Milo. Nobody else really matters to him, since he doesn't really have a family... or a home.

2.)   Do they have any deep, dark secrets? What are they? Is their biggest secret the fact they killed someone, or is it more like they wet the bed until they were 8?  

Nick has been abandoned since he was 10 years old. He has no one except for his dog. He tends to want to keep that a secret from people, hiding it behind his sarcasm and ability to really trick people. He also used to have a speech impediment, but it only really comes out now when he's really upset.  

3.)    If something bad happened (i.e. their mum was killed), are they more likely to cry or get angry?  

They are most likely to try and keep their cool, but inwardly freak out. He could act so normal to you, jerkish even, but later on you can find him in his room having a semi panic attack.

4.)    What’s one of their favourite generic items (meaning something that isn’t special to them in any way, but if someone gave it them they’d be very happy)?

He's a real nerd for anything comic related, but you'd never get him to admit that he loves Deadpool. He's WAY too cool for that.

5.)    What is one of their least favourite generic items (again meaning something that isn’t special/unique to them (like a chocolate bar or something))?  

He hates fish. Anything to do with fish. The smell alone makes him want to hurl.

6.)    What’s their relationship like with their parents?  

He has no relationship with them considering he doesn’t even remember them. He's been in and out of foster homes since before he can remember but most of his life has been lived under a slide or in box in an alley.  

7.)    Do they have any fans (if their talent permits them to have fans)? Do they like said fans?

Quite the opposite, people really aren't impressed with Nick's ability to prank or annoy people. Like, how is that even an ultimate? It confuses him sometimes. It feels so pointless.  

8.)    Do they have any siblings? How do they feel about said siblings?  

None that he knows of.

9.)    What three words would they use to describe themselves?  

Handsome, hilarious and talkative.  

10.)  What three words would others use to describe them?  

Annoying, obnoxious and hidden (as in he doesn't share much)

11.) Any fears?  

He has a fear of dying alone; being without anyone to love or care for. Even if it's just one friend... Also he has a fear that anything would happen to Milo; he's the only one who ever really was there.  

12.) If they were offered 1,000,000 of their currency to do something immoral, would they do it?  

No, never. He has a huge guilty conscience.  

13.)  What’s their stance on religion?  

He's not really sure what to believe, from what people have told him, but he does believe there is a higher up and it probably is God.  

14.) What’s their stance on the supernatural?

Doesn't believe in it other than Angels and Demons.  

15.)  If they had one day left to live, what would they do?  

Probably want to throw the biggest prank in all of history. So huge, people would actually have to sit back and be like "Wow... that's actually impressive"

16.)  What makes the earth turn according to them: Money or love (or is it because when the earth was a gas cloud it started to spin and hasn’t quite grown out of that phase yet) ?  

Probably love. He doesn't have money as it is...  

17.)  Knowledge, power or relationships: what’s the most important?  

Probably knowledge

18.)  Do they like animals? What’s their favourite?  

Dogs, hands down. Absolutely his favorite. Siberian Husky's to be exact.  

19.)  Any weird talents (besides their ultimate/shsl) that they’re secretly proud of (like rapping for example)?  

He's really proud of his natural talent when it involves medical things. If he actually had the money to do it, he could probably see himself becoming a doctor. He knows things about the anatomy/body like you wouldn't believe coming from a guy like this.  

20.)  Tell me a random story about them!

The reason he became so good at his ultimate, or why it defines him now, is because as a kid the only way to eat and get anything he wanted was to trick people and play pranks on them. He once conned a guy out of $400 dollars just by pretending to be this famous magician and swapped the stuff the guy had on himself around so much, it distracted him as he slipped it into his sleeve. He's very good at slight of hands.  

21.) Do they have any illnesses or disabilities?  

He has a speech impediment when he's really angry or upset/scared and he has a tendacy to have panic attacks when under too much stress. But he tends to hide those from people until he's alone. He also has really bad night terrors.  

22.)  Left handed or right handed?  

He's a lefty

23.)  How would they react to being locked up in a school with no foreseeable time of leaving?  

On the outside he'd treat it like it was nothing, being totally cool. But inside he would be afraid for his life; constantly wondering if this was his last day on earth... and that he was going to die alone.  

24.) Will they miss their old high school? Why?  

No, not really... since he was bounced around so much. Why is this any different?  

25.) Do they like the outdoors? If so, what’s their favourite outdoor activity and any memories linked to that?  

No, he hates the outdoors... because he's had to live there for so long. I mean, hey, beats living in a foster family right? At least... he thinks so...  

26.) How important is their talent to them? Does it not mean much or would they die for it?  

He sees it as pointless and a waste of a talent. What's the point? It doesn't help anyone.  

[moneywisealpha]

10 Reasons Why Bitcoin Will Pass $15,000 In 2020

Time sure flies, the first month of 2020 has gone, and we are now entering February!  Well, the cryptocurrency markets have started the year well with Bitcoin now over $9,000.  February has traditionally been a good month for cryptocurrency, and I expect Bitcoin to hit $10,000 this month.  I also have ten reasons to believe that Bitcoin will pass $15,000 in 2020 as follows:

  Reason #1: Bitcoin Halving

Figure 1: Bitcoin halving logarithmic chart

  Bitcoin halving occurs every four years, and it will happen this year sometime around May 20, 2020.  The mining reward will be halved from 12.5 BTC to 6.25 BTC.  Bitcoin halvings will occur every 210,000 blocks until around 2140 when all 21 million coins will have been mined.  Following the economic basics of supply and demand, less Bitcoin mined causes less supply so the demand, the price, goes up accordingly.

  As the chart in figure 1 shows, the price in Bitcoin always rises in the long-term after a halving event.  Though the price doesn't shoot up right away, in months and years that follow a halving, the Bitcoin price goes up.

  What I expect to occur around May 20, 2020, is that many speculators will purchase some Bitcoin a few days before the halving date, thereby causing the Bitcoin price to rise significantly.  Then, afterward, there will be a significant selloff—kind of like a pump and dump.  Though in the months after that, the price of Bitcoin will steadily increase to pass the $15,000 mark.

  Reason #2: Bitcoins are lost every year

Figure 2: No explanation needed.

  Another factor that will lessen the supply of available Bitcoin is lost or "forgotten" coins.  Every year, some BTC is accidentally lost or forgotten in hard drives, mobile wallets, or paper wallets.  Coins can also be "lost" through user error, for example, by sending coins to an invalid address.  With so many forks of Bitcoin now, it's more commonplace for this to occur.  Furthermore, we just went through a significant bear market in the last two years, so many people just lost faith in Bitcoin and other cryptocurrencies, so they lost track of them this way as well.

  Reason #3: The US Stock Market has a high chance of correcting or crashing

Figure 3a: The Dow Jones Industrial Average Chart

Figure 3a: The S&P 500 Chart

The US Stock market has been in an overall bull run since 2009, almost 11 years now!  In a sound market, there are pull-backs every eight years or so, but the US stock market is unnatural.  The stock market has been propped up by the central bank, the Fed, by many quantitative easing programs and zero interest rate policies.

  It would not surprise me to see a significant correction in the stock market this year.  A pull-back of at least 20% might occur, but I wouldn't be surprised if there is a major crash of 50% or more!

  Here is just a tip for those of you still in the US stock market.  It's a seller's market now, so dump some of your holdings and transfer them to undervalued assets such as commodities and cryptocurrency.

  Reason #4: Declining US Dollar buying power

Figure 4: The declining buying power of the US Dollar

  Let's face it--the US Dollar is losing world reserve currency status!  Many countries such as Russia and China are using their own currencies for international trade and bypassing the US dollar.  This trend will undoubtedly continue.  As fewer people see the US dollar as a safe haven, they will allocate more of their portfolio to more speculative assets such as cryptocurrencies, thereby driving the Bitcoin price up.

  Reason #5: Global Uncertainties

Figure 5: The “cold war” in the Middle East between the West and the East.

  Global uncertainties and a weakening dollar will push more investors into Bitcoin as more people recognize it as a store of value similar to gold.  As an example, after Iran’s attack on US military bases in Iraq in response to the death of Iranian General Qasem Soleimani, Bitcoin rose 8% amid investor uncertainty. 

  The US and its western allies are losing ground in the Middle East to Iran, and it's powerful allies—Russia and China.  The buying power of Western fiat currencies, predominately the US Dollar, will diminish as Western control of the global oil trade diminishes too.

  Many people see Bitcoin as a crisis hedge, similar to gold.  Therefore, during uncertain times will invest more into it, thereby causing the demand price to increase too.

  Reason #6: Technical Development

Figure 6: A graphical depiction of the lightning network.

  One of the major weaknesses of Bitcoin is that its blockchain can only process a minuscule 7 transactions per second (TPS) compared to Visa’s average of 24,000 transactions per second.  However, the Lightning Network upgrade by Lightning labs has the potential to increase Bitcoin’s TPS to millions per second.

  Basically, the lightning network is another layer above the blockchain that allows transactions to settlement off-chain then later merged back into the main chain.  Not only will this technology allow many more transactions per second, but it will also significantly lower the transaction fees, thereby enabling Bitcoin and other cryptocurrencies to usage as a form of payment in shops, cafes, bars, and other typical venues.

  Another technology that will promote blockchain usage is 5G, which supports faster internet usage.  As 5G becomes more available in cities worldwide, people will experience faster internet connections that blockchain and cryptocurrency technology both depend.

  Reason #7: Bitcoin ETF

Figure 7: Many speculate Bitcoin and other cryptocurrencies ETFs soon.

  An Exchange Traded Fund (ETF) is a type of fund that owns assets, which can be stocks, commodities, or futures, or possibly even cryptocurrency. However, the ownership divided into shares that trade on stock exchanges.

  Many experts speculate that Bitcoin ETF approval in 2020 is highly likely.  The SEC recently approved its first ‘40 Act-approved Bitcoin fund in the form of the NYDIG Bitcoin Strategy Fund.  We already have futures and options trading.  The CME (Chicago Mercantile Exchange) also began offering Bitcoin options.  With a Bitcoin ETF, mainstream adoption will surely increase.

  Reason #8: Favorable Regulation by Governments & Institutional Adoption

Figure 8: The Chinese e-Yaun cryptocurrency

  The US Federal Reserve Board recently revealed that it is working on a crypto-like project known as “central bank digital currency.”  China is taking the lead in the blockchain sector.  Many expect China’s e-yuan will roll out in early 2020, and it will be very cautious, initially only focusing on consumer spending.  The Chinese e-yuan will be the world's first digital sovereign currency.

  Many experts are comparing the current blockchain and cryptocurrency race between the US and China as similar to the space race from half a century ago. The world is in a rush to see who will be the first to gain the lead in the crypto space, with China currently being ahead of everyone else, especially the US.

  Many institutions such as Bakkt, OKEx, FTX, and CME also are now supporting Bitcoin Futures and Options Trading.  Though they still have to open up to retail investors.

  Reason #9: Saving in cryptocurrency yields higher rates than savings accounts

Figure 9a: Celsius mobile wallet interest rates for BTC, ETH, DASH, and BCH.

Figure 9b: Celsius mobile wallet interest rates for popular stable coins.

  A decade of zero interest rate policies (ZERP) had led to low yields on your savings accounts and government bonds.  The interest you get by storing your money in your savings account doesn't even make up for inflation.  People are looking to diversify their savings in higher-yielding vehicles such as cryptocurrencies. Many cryptocurrency-based mobile wallets act as a form of savings accounts for your crypto assets such as the Celsius, Monarch, and Uphold apps.  The highest yields for these crypto wallets are usually stable coins, pegged to fiat currencies such as USDT, TUSD, PAX, USDC, and others.

  Reason #10:  Fear and greed index is now becoming more greedy

Figure 10: https://alternative.me/crypto/fear-and-greed-index/

  The cryptocurrency market behavior is very emotional. Thus, people tend to get greedy when the market is rising, which results in the fear of missing out (FOMO).  There is also panic selling when people often dump their coins in mass in an irrational reaction to seeing red numbers. This behavior is a reflection of basic human psychology, where people follow a "herd mind" mentality.

  Extreme fear can be a sign that investors are too worried, which can be a sign that it's a buyer's market.  On the other hand, when Investors are getting too greedy, that means a significant sell-off is not too far off as the market corrects itself.

  Since the current fear and greed index has recently switched to be more greedy, this indicates that we are currently in an accumulation phase and that prices will start to stabilize soon so that prices won't go rise too much further.

  Conclusion:

  I predict that 2020 will be a good year for Bitcoin and other cryptocurrencies.  After two long years in a bear market, prices will rise again to turn the crypto market to overall be more bullish.  However, I don't expect all times highs whereby Bitcoin passes $20,000!  In my opinion, this will mostly occur in 2021, so I recommend people start to accumulate Bitcoin and other crypto-assets this year and hold for the long-term.

  Don’t Miss The Next Bitcoin Bull Run!

  Get FREE 2-Months Premium Access To My Skillshare Course Now And Other Premium Courses!

  Sign up for "10 FREE, Exciting, and Proven Ways To Get Bitcoin" at https://skl.sh/2vfEbWA

  Check out my freelancing gigs: https://bit.ly/MWAGigs

  Follow Us On Social Media:

YouTube: https://www.youtube.com/c/MoneyWiseAlpha

Blog Site 1: https://medium.com/money-wise-alpha

Blog Site 2: https://www.publish0x.com/money-wise-alpha/

Blog Site 3: https://steemit.com/@moneywisealpha

Blog Site 4: https://moneywisealpha.tumblr.com/

Blog Site 5: https://moneywisealpha.blogspot.com/

[harmoniouspixels]

Tea Time with Jessabelle

A clever title for this questions post.

(Confession tho: I don’t like tea, yet here I am, making a sim who loves tea. Irony).

[@futurecarrie]

1.)   What is the most important thing to them? (meaning a person or thing specifically i.e. friends/family)

Her mother for sure. After her dad died of those mysterious causes, she was all she had left. Besides, how was she supposed to learn how to become the next matriarch of the Houston family from someone else?

2.)   Do they have any deep, dark secrets? What are they? Is their biggest secret the fact they killed someone, or is it more like they wet the bed until they were 8?

Once she accidentally posted an indecent photo to her blog instead of one of her summer fashion photos. Realizing her mistake, she took it down quickly, but not before some people snagged the picture for themselves.

3.)   If something bad happened (i.e. their mum was killed), are they more likely to cry or get angry?

Gut reaction is to cry, but through her training to be the next heiress to the Houston line, she’s tried to keep her focus (which then transpires into anger).

4.)   What’s one of their favourite generic items (meaning something that isn’t special to them in any way, but if someone gave it them they’d be very happy)?

Probably most drinks, but in particular mineral water. Obviously tea has importance to her, but she has preferences for “higher quality” drinks.

5.)   What is one of their least favourite generic items (again meaning something that isn’t special/unique to them (like a chocolate bar or something))?

Junk food: Things along the line of potato chips, cheap chocolates, etc.

6.)   What’s their relationship like with their parents?

Her father died when she was young, but otherwise had a great relationship with her mother.

7.)   Do they have any fans (if their talent permits them to have fans)? Do they like said fans?

She is well known in her town and state, but also has garnered a following for her blog, where she shares tips on etiquette and recipes. There is also a photo section of her modeling some of the different seasons’ “appropriate” fashions.

8.)   Do they have any siblings? How do they feel about said siblings?

They do have one: a younger sister named Mary-Beth whom she cares about deeply.

9.)   What three words would they use to describe themselves?

Prim, Proper, Polite

10.)  What three words would others use to describe them?

Friendly, Snobbish, Bossy

11.) Any fears?

Losing her family. The fact the money might be gone is a factor, but also losing the people she cares about. She also has a fear of dying, more specifically being murdered in a brutal fashion (oh the irony here).

12.) If they were offered 1,000,000 of their currency to do something immoral, would they do it?

Definitely. The Houstons, while still relatively well-off, aren’t all too rich despite a being around in the area for 150+ years. What’s a little white lie to get a leg up on the others?

13.)  What’s their stance on religion?

She was raised in a good Christian home, but was taught about other religions as well as a child. Thus, she’s accepting of other religions, and not blindly hating on them like other people tend to do.

14.) What’s their stance on the supernatural?

Secretly, it’s one of her passions. She hopes to find a creature one day and befriend it.

15.)  If they had one day left to live, what would they do?

Spend as much time as she could with her family.

16.)  What makes the earth turn according to them: Money or love (or is it because when the earth was a gas cloud it started to spin and hasn’t quite grown out of that phase yet) ?

Money, since it’s all Jessabelle has truly known.

17.)  Knowledge, power or relationships: what’s the most important?

Younger Jessabelle would’ve said power, but current Jessabelle says relationships. Without relationships, you don’t form connections with people. Plus, relationships can give you power.

18.)  Do they like animals? What’s their favourite?

Penguins are her favorite! It fascinates her that creatures such as them love cold temperatures.

19.)  Any weird talents (besides their ultimate/shsl) that they’re secretly proud of (like rapping for example)?

Not weird in the sense of the talent, but weird for one of her standing: she can play a mean electric guitar. (Something like Avril Lavigne’s pop punk kind of style).

20.)  Tell me a random story about them!

Once the family dropped Jessabelle off in town while they were on business (in her late middle school years). She wandered around the town until she found a superstore (akin to a Walmart, if you will, but more upscale, like a Meijer). Walking in, she was in awe of the simplicity of the place, and how everything was arranged neatly in categories. She hadn’t seen anything like this before, since all of her shopping was done at private companies who specialized in the trade (even more upscale grocery chains, tailors for clothing, etc.)

21.) Do they have any illnesses or disabilities?

None.

22.)  Left handed or right handed?

Left-handed. She’s not a big fan about it, because almost everyone else is right handed in her family and school.

23.)  How would they react to being locked up in a school with no foreseeable time of leaving?

Initial reaction of fear, but she would eventually calm down and make the best of it. You don’t get out any sooner or come to solutions just running around without a cause.

24.) Will they miss their old high school? Why?

Somewhat. It was a private, all-girls school, so she had friends there. Not too many romantic prospects (although there was one girl who caught her eye…)

25.) Do they like the outdoors? If so, what’s their favourite outdoor activity and any memories linked to that?

Totally! Her favorite outdoor activity is croquet because it was a game that was played at many family functions, and she would play it with her sister all the time.

26.) How important is their talent to them? Does it not mean much or would they die for it?

Jessabelle doesn’t view it as super important, but that’s because she already holds herself in such high regard (as in, being the heiress to a wealthy family), so it’s second nature to her.

[chaozrael]

Cards against Cybertron 150 questions

 Answers are here Link

1.      In Styx Prison, word is you can trade 200 rust sticks for ___

2.      What did I bring back from Monacus?

3.      Clearly Megatron’s plan was destined for failure the moment he included ____.

4.      ____ is the right of all sentient beings.

5.      I sold my kidney to go to TF Nation and all I got was _____.

6.      They’re apparently cancelling the next season so they can focus more on _____.

7.      Soundwave’s mouthplate slides back to reveal _____.

8.      The new plot development in the comic that has the fandom completely terrified is _____.

9.      I might be convinced to see the new Bayformers installment if it featured _____.

10.  Never forget, this is all To Sell ______.

11.  Decepticons, as your new leader, I declare ______!

12.  What is Phase Eight?

13.  What got me put on The List?

14.  Megatron has fallen! I, ____, am now your leader.

15.  How do we discipline our badly behaved recruits in the Decepticon Army?

16.  What do I look for in a conjunx endura?

17.  I will not accept your apology until I receive___

18.  ____´s only weakness is ____

19.  Metroplex is slowly dying because of ____

20.  The best way to shut up Swerve is ____

21.  Today’s races price was ___

22.  Lockdown lost his hand because of ____

23.  With no other way out we had to sacrifice _____ to the Sparkeater

24.  The only thing that can save us now is ____

25.  When Red Alert searched Rodimus hab suite he found ______

26.  It’s common knowledge that Swindle can get you anything but ______

27.  To create a Combiner the most important thing you need is _____

28.  I was pronounced the Duly Appointed Enforcer of the Tyrest Accord because of ___

29.  If I opened a bar, I would name it___

30.  Before the big escalation, Delphi was secretly known for _________

31.  According to an Iaconian saying, it is always better to have a drone in the servo than a _____________ on the roof

32.  One very drunken night, Trailbreaker woke up next to a _______________

33.  There is that rumor going on that Tyrest has been eagerly working on a complete collection of______________

34.  Installing somebody else’s bodyparts can cause you recurring dreams about_________________

35.  Usually over upgraded mechs tend to suffer from lack of  ______________

36.  In desperate times, the average facemask was made out of _______________

37.  Cold constructed bots have a tendency to get obsessed with things like _______________

38.  As a side effect to their perfection,  Phase sixers need regular  high doses of_______________

39.  The Cybertronian equivalent to earth‘ bananas is: _________________

40.  As an unexpected side effect, the functionism turned out to be the prefect breeding ground for _______________

41.  It’s your forging day! According to the tradition you will receive a__________

42.  Hot energon tastes best with _______________

43.  The best way to grease up old, war-ridden joints is to add some ________________

44.  The truth about Alex Milne‘s drawing talent is __________________

45.  During the golden ages, only the upper classes had access to ________________

46.  The transformation cogs of phase 6‘ers are usually shaped like ______________

47.  For unknown reasons, Skids keeps a _________________ in his subspace

48.  Tracks has his red face color because of an incident involving ________________

49.  Sometimes very poor bots use ______________ as an imitation of biolights

50.  Parties among wreckers involve a lot of __________________

51.  When Whirl was empurata'ed, they crafted a ______________ out of his face

52.  _________________________! High 5, Bro

53.  ______________ is the inspiration for the continuous existence of a Magnus

54.  What does a Wrecker smell like?

55.  Modern Cybertronian politics are known for ______________________

56.  A song that was stuck for 7 Vorns in the Cybertroniam billboard charts had the annoying name: _______________

57.  There is an ongoing rumor that they actually fuel the Lost light with ___________

58.  It's a little known fact that Sparkeaters are allergic to ____________________

59.  In the Conunx Endura ritual, two bots have to agree on ______________________

60.  We drink to forget ____

61.  Step one: _____. Step two: ____. Step three: Success!  

62.  ____ high five, bro!

63.  Maybe he´s born with it. Maybe it´s _______

64.   What´s fun until it gets weird?

65.  Cause of death: ____

66.  Science will never explain:

67.  ____ awesome in theory, kind of a mess in practice

68.   You know, once you get past_______, _____ ain´t so bad

69.   ____ may pass, but _____ will last forever

70.  This is your captain speaking. Fasten your seatbelts and prepare for _______

71.  _________ + _________ = __________

72.  This is the prime of my life. I am young, hot and full of _____

73.  Why am I sticky?

74.  Netflix and _____

 75.  Really, Prowl is missing an optic because of___________

76.  A good wrecker party means there has to be a_________

77.  Prowls secret kink is_____

78.  That one time James Roberts tweeted about____________

79.  Brainstorms latest invention, the ______ gun

80.  If you support _____, I judge you!

81.  Bots with chevrons are in general known for having a thing for_______

82.  The new DJD logo is_________

83.  If your alt-mode is a tank, you have most likely experienced____

84.  Seekers are pretty judgmental about____

85.  Grounders are less often effected by______

86.  There is a rumor about Megatrons secret love for____

87.  Skids isn´t dead yet! It´s just_____

88.  Buckle up little Tailgate, you´re about to see some____

89.  Camiens are into____

90.  You can only revive a brain module if you add_____

91.  Have the shiniest frame! Buy______

92.  Ever since Deadlock became a hippie, his popularity rose due to ____

93.  Drift made all his money with _________

94.  What disappointed Optimus today?

95.  Why don't Primes party?

96.  The most popular Cybertronian candies are named after _____

97.  Most bots still believe Primus doesn't want them to think about _______

98.  Rotten energon tastes like _____

99.  What else was hidden inside the Ultra Magnus armor?

100.         Starscream is only became the ruler of Cybertron because he lied about ___

101.         What's on the lower decks of the Peaceful Tyranny?

102.         What's a turbo fox on a pole?

103.         Oh no! _____ is running out of Cyclonus' cheek holes!

104.         Kup may be old. He still can kill an enemy with ______

105.         Swerve's now offers ___

106.         Little known fact. Soundwave released bad pop dance compilations under the pseudonym ___

107.         What trouble is the Lost Light in today?

108.         What's on Magnus' NSFW blog?

109.         Elita-1 could have been tamed by_____

110.         What´s under Starscreams bed?

111.         How did Optimus die this time?

112.         What did Metroplex say to Windblade?

113.         Cybertronians are banned from this galaxy because of ___

114.         The Geewunners are raging again because of_____

115.         Why was Rung up all night?

116.         I got a plan to kill Overlord. It involves __, __, and __

117.         Pit fights involve___

118.         What did Nickel find in Helex' teeth this time?

119.         When ___ jumped out of the closet Tailgate started crying

120.         Whirl decided it was a good idea to put __ and __ together! Sadly it turned into __

121.         Rodimus managed to get his tongue welded to __

122.         Ultra Magnus gave the crew a lecture on ___

123.         ___ don't make good substitute spikes

124.         A cityspeaker responds to a titans____

125.         ____now illegal in Iacon

126.         On today's episode of Will It Blend with Tesarus: ___

127.         Trepan is highly skilled with his needles, last week I saw him use them for ____!

128.         Overlord's private collection of ____ contains nothing but ______

129.         Thundercracker's favorite movie is ___

130.         How did Kaon lose his optics?

131.         Dammit, I told you not to let the protoform near the ___!

132.         Another unique name for Sparklings that not many mechs know of is___

133.           That time Megatron caught Rodimus __

134.           Nautica don't put that wrench in the __

135.         Amazing. A booby trap that actually catches ___

136.         Til all are ___

137.           Towards __

138.         Prowl got so angry he managed to __ The table this time!

139.         Jazz might be known for loving music but he also enjoys __

140.         Other things Crok keeps are____

141.         Rung's sub spaces contain ___

142.         Whirl's favorite sex move is the ___

143.         Minibots make for great __

144.         Oh no! An asteroid field filled with ___!

145.         Last night Ratchet had his servo arm deep in __. A horrible night?

146.         Tailgate's "Panic Legs" Are great for __!

147.         Why did Rodimus go to the med bay?

148.         I can´t believe it´s not____

149.         An unbelievable amount of____

150.         ____ the new Cybertronian drug

[junker-town]

A fake oral history of Josef Martínez’s incredible missed penalty

On Sunday July 21, 2019, Atlanta United played D.C. United in a battle between two of the top three teams in the Eastern Conference. With the game tied at 0-0 going into the dying minutes, Josef Martinez, the reigning MVP, managed to win a penalty for Atlanta in the 71st minute. Martinez was the designated penalty taker, and going into the game, had scored 14 of 15 penalty shots in his MLS career. He was facing Bill Hamid, a goalkeeper, who only had a total of 5 saved penalties in his career. The result seemed a foregone conclusion.

Martinez set the ball down, took a few steps back and waited for the whistle. When the referee signaled for him to shoot, he did his signature run-up — it starts with a side shuffle, which leads to him doing quick toe taps while crouching, before running to the ball and doing an exaggerated hop that ends with him shooting as he lands — and then surprisingly, he missed. But he didn’t just miss, he ballooned the ball over the crossbar.

The miss was such a bizarre moment for one of the best penalty-takers in the league that some began to suspect that there was something more to it than just Martinez misfiring. The suspicions turned out to be right. This is the (un)true story behind Josef Martinez’s penalty miss.

Chapter I: Loomings

July 2002

Before Martinez was a star in MLS, he was just another kid in Valencia, Venezuela. He would play football in the streets with his friends, dreaming of playing at the highest levels and representing his country in the future. One night, his life suddenly changed.

Josef Martínez (Forward, Atlanta United): I remember it clearly. It was a cool, still night. The world seemed muted, somehow, stifled. I have my father to thank. He’d taken us well south — we lived in Valencia at the time — for a break from the city. Every evening until then had been a riot of noise. When the frogs fell silent the bats started back up, and I was still young enough to hear them then. That gift, alas, has fallen from me of late. Sometimes I still think I can, but ...

Anyway. That night. Yes. My father had heard that there was to be a meteor shower and had brought us all down to watch it. It was a gesture reflective of the sort of man my father is. He is kind, generous, wanting nothing but the best for his children. Unfortunately he was not an astronomer, and didn’t know to check the phases of the moon. I don’t know if we would have seen any meteors if the moon wasn’t full that week. But it was full and bright and — have you ever looked at the moon? I don’t mean if you’ve ever seen her, of course you have. But have you ever really looked?

Alexander Martínez (Josef’s father): Our cat had died. Run over. Josef’s mother told me to get him out of the house for a while and distract him. We drove south a ways. I made up some sh*t about meteors to keep him up at night watching for them. That way he’d be so tired he’d fall asleep. We were worried. But then he never shut up. Never. You know what eight-year-olds are like.

And then, for like two hours one night, he shut up. He was awake, but he wasn’t saying anything. Just staring. It was great.

Josef Martínez: That night I saw the moon. Not just her face, with which every child is familiar. I saw her soul, in silver radiant, drank down her scars and seams. That which men call ‘Tycho’ stared back. I was transfixed. A wondrous tide washed over me. You might call it a baptism. From that night forward, I had two loves: the first for my favorite club, the MLS’s Atlanta United. And stronger still, my affinity for the moon.

My father, good man that he is, was supportive of my interests. When I’d exhausted his knowledge of the moon, he gave me what he could so that I could learn more of her. Books upon books piled up in my room. I read between training sessions.

Do you know that Earth is the only planet of the major 8 in our solar system that has one moon? One moon for Earth. One moon for me.

Alexander Martínez: The moon? He may have mentioned it once or twice. But he talked a lot, that kid. For some time, he changed his name to “Hippolytus” and started making offerings to his “forever virginal Artemis”. I didn’t pay anything he said much attention as long as he seemed like he was doing OK. Well, except for the times he pretended to be a bear.

Chapter II: Going Aboard

February 2017

After playing for Carcaras, Young Boys, and Thun (on loan), Martinez impressed enough that Serie A side, Torino, purchased him in the summer of 2014 for €3 million. Unfortunately, he only managed seven goals in his three years there, and in the winter of 2017, Torino loaned him to Atlanta United, the newest expansion team of MLS, with an option to purchase him outright at the end of the season.

Darren Eales (Atlanta United president): Josef had already proven himself on some of the biggest stages in our sport and we were confident in his ability to make a difference in MLS. That’s why Arthur [Blank, team owner] brought him here. Our confidence in him was totally repaid. Looking back, I couldn’t be prouder of that decision.

Tata Martino (Atlanta United coach): Look, I had just dealt with Lionel Messi at Barcelona and at Argentina. I just wanted to be around someone who would be nice to me. Martinez looked nice. He didn’t look like the type of person who would glare at me so hard that my ancestors apologized for making my birth possible.

Then I saw him take a penalty in training. He looked like he was a horse throwing his rider. I thought he was possessed by the ghost of Spirit: Stallion of the Cimarron.

Brad Guzan (Atlanta United goalkeeper): We were in training one day. Josef took a penalty. I went the wrong way and he scored, but the coach was furious anyway. He screamed at him to knock it off with the “horsey sh*t.” I thought that was funny. The goalkeepers laughed about it for a while. I called Josef “Horsey” for a while, but I guess it just didn’t stick. Maybe I thought it was funnier than everyone else did.

Tata Martino: I said “Knock it off with the horsey sh*t, motherf***er.” Everyone heard me.

Josef Martínez: In joining my boyhood club I had achieved one of my life’s great ambitions. Having worked hard to become a professional and attract the eye of Tata and United, I was very proud. But I knew that I could not waste the privilege — for what is my career but the product of mere serendipity? Even talent, thought God-given, is a form of mere luck — and that I’d need to keep working. And besides, Atlanta and America gave me a platform to cast myself heavenward. No country but the United States has ever touched the moon.

Tata Martino: What? The moon? He never mentioned anything like that to me, no.

Darren Eales: I think I remember overhearing him tell Miguel Almirón that he thought that Buzz Aldrin was a great American, which I thought was a little strange coming from a kid from Venezuela. But it’s not really that strange, is it? Buzz Aldrin is a great American. I used to say his catchphrase all the time when I was young: “To infinity, and beyond!”

Josef Martínez: The men of Apollo 11 were the bravest of the brave, the last great explorers mankind has produced. They brought life to an entire world! When I saw the moon as a child, she was alive and she was in a deep slumber. It was the Apollo missions which stirred her. I knew I’d soon be on the national stage. (Was that arrogant to think? Perhaps, but is humility in the face of one’s undeniable skill not a lie, and a monstrous one at that?) I began to devise some sort of tribute.

Tata Martino: I banned him from taking penalties like that. Josef was still the designated taker, but I told him that if he tried that sh*t in a real game, I would send him to work on the Transcontinental Railroad, like they did Spirit: Stallion of the Cimarron. And Miguel Almirón would take over as the penalty-taker.

Josef Martínez: I knew that if I scored enough goals in the MLS Coach Martino would get off my back. So I did.

Brad Guzan: Sometimes I still call him “Horsey,” but he never seems to hear me.

Chapter III: His Mark

July 2019

On July 20, 2019, the world celebrated the 50th anniversary of the moon landing. The Atlanta versus D.C. United game was the day after, and though Martinez was disappointed not to play on the exact day of the 50th anniversary, he was intent on commemorating the Apollo mission in his own way.

Josef Martínez: When the schedule came out I was devastated. I had been hoping all along to be on television on July 20th, 2019. It felt as though I had been kicked in the teeth by a horse.

Ben Olsen (D.C. United coach): We knew it was going to be a tough game, especially without Wayne [Rooney]. I didn’t want to let him go, but my medical team said that the little injuries were piling up to the point where I’d either have to rest him or but him at serious risk. I couldn’t afford to do that.

Wayne Rooney (D.C. United forward): Wayne! Wayne wayne wayne way-way-way wayne. Waaaaayne! Wayne wayne.

Wayne.

Russell Canouse (D.C. United midfielder): We were there to defend and counter. Without Wayne we knew we had to play it close and tight and not make mistakes. Which is why I felt like such an asshole when I fouled him.

Frank de Boer (Atlanta United manager): Josef’s penalty technique is terrible. It’d be all right once, when you can expect to confuse the goalkeeper, but they know it’s coming all they have to do is ... basically what [Bill] Hamid did. Stay tall and wait him out.

Bill Hamid (D.C. United goalkeeper): I just stood tall and waited him out. Once he does that big hop he basically can’t re-adjust, so as long as you can react to whatever happens you’re in good shape. It spooked him so badly he mis-hit it over the bar.

Darlington Nagbe (Atlanta United midfielder): People think we used to suck because Frank was a bad coach, but it was actually because the first time he saw that penalty run-up, he was so mad that he popped a f*cking blood vessel. It was insane. They had to get his brother Ronald to coach us while he was in the hospital.

Frank de Boer: Do I have a problem with his penalty style? Yeah. But my doctor said speaking about it isn’t good for my rage.

Josef Martínez: I had worked so hard to get to where I was. At that time. At that place. Fifty years prior, men were on the surface of the moon at Tranquility Base. When I stepped up to the spot I imagined Neil Armstrong staring down at me. I’m sure he’s up there in spirit, and I’m sure he saw what I did.

Missing a penalty on purpose is the sort of thing you’ll get sanctioned for. But having a ridiculous run-up which everyone thinks will someday result into you hitting a penalty to the moon? Nobody asked questions.

Wayne Rooney: Wayne wayne. (Sadly) Wayne.

Josef Martínez: Obviously, you cannot kick a soccer ball to the moon. It’s impossible. Impossible. But as a metaphor, it works. It’s aspirational, evocative. A tribute to both of the two great loves of my life. I knew that the ‘miss’ wouldn’t matter to the result.

Frank de Boer: Had he not scored after that miss to win us the game ... I don’t even want to think of the things I would have done to him.

Russell Canouse: I felt so relieved when he missed that. We’d worked real hard for that away point and at the time it looked as though we’d really get it. We deserved more than those late goals. That sucked, man.

Frank de Boer: Why do you keep asking me about the moon? Get out of my office.

Darlington Nagbe: He never said sh*t about the moon to me until after that game and since that’s all he ever talks about. He’s being so weird about that miss. It’s like when you f*ck up a pass and pretend to be injured, except he’s doing it with his whole brain or something. It’s the moon. Who gives a sh*t?

Josef Martínez: Darlington said that? Unfortunate. Does he not even care that the moon was once a ball of magma? That some the dark patches on its near-side are sites of its former lava seas? Mare Vaporum, Mare Marginis, Mare Crisium, Mare Australe. What about the fact that the moon’s gravitational pull is the cause of the rise and fall of Earth’s ocean tides? What about its pull on my heart? Why doesn’t he care about my heart?

Brad Guzan: It was all right in the end. We got the win. Horsey got his goal. No harm done.

Josef Martínez: In the end, I think Neil liked it.

[telltheworld-phff]

Chapter 21: Continua lindo*

Carol had two weeks to cry, watch girly movies with her best friend and mom, eat lots of ice cream and chocolates and feel miserable for the end of her relationship. She did her best to get over the ‘i’m moving on’ part of a break up. She had jumped right in. She had very low days, but now it was time to climb back. She was done suffering for him. She was done crying. He wasn’t worth a single tear she shed. She was way past the phase that she only wanted to stay in. But now she just wanted to not think about it. She packed her bag, she choose the best outfits and she was decided to make this trip count.

She arrived at Santos Dumont Airport in a sunny day in late April. She was glad Rio had been faithful to it’s nickname (Hell de Janeiro) and stayed warm even in the fall. She quickly got a taxi and was on her way to her hotel. She had chosen the Marina Palace hotel in Leblon, close to the beach and near the two brothers mountain. She was the first of the group to arrive and checked in before heading to her bedroom. She received a text from Harry saying they were on their way to the hotel just when she was opening her door.

Carol took a shower and put her bikini and a coverall. She didn’t want to lose any time. She wanted to go to the beach and enjoy what Rio offered best: sun, water and natural beauty to see.She heard when her friends arrived because they were loud and cheering on the corridor. She ran to the door and opened it to greet them.

Carol and Lara greeted each other on the corridor to their rooms (they had an exclusive floor just for them and Carol was hoping no one would spot Harry, otherwise their vacation would be ruined). They hugged each other and both of them were saying it had been a long time.

“What about me? Have you missed me?” Skippy asked with open arms and a big smile.

“OF COURSE!!!” she hugged Harry’s friends not caring that they weren’t used to this kind of greetings.

She also greeted Bill, the ever faithful personal bodyguard of Harry’s. That’s when they spotted each other and their smirk turned into a full smile, he went to her and hugged her a bit more tighter than the others and they held the embrace for more time than they really needed to. Skippy only blinked at his wife.

“Carol, let me introduce you to my friends. This is Arthur and this is his wife, Alessandra.” the prince said after parting their hug but still being pretty close to her.

She was a bit more reserved with them, but she greeted them politely.

“Ok, you all have exactly ten minutes to change to more appropriate clothes. I want to go to the beach soon.”

“Always so bossy...” Harry said under his breath.

“What did you say?” she asked him putting her hands on her hips.

“Nothing. I’m going to get changed.”

“Good.” she answered. “You have exactly ten minutes.”

She waited for them and was surprised to see that the girls changed faster than the boys. They were knocking on their doors every now and then until they left and they were all headed to the beach. Carol knew that Bill was probably on a nightmare trip, but as long as no one spotted Harry there, he’d be fine. No one in Brazil really paid attention to the British Royal Family unless it was a big event or announcement. So they’d be fine. She led the way but they really only had to cross the street. She went to the nearby kiosk and rented chairs, a table and sun umbrellas. She advised them to really apply sunscreen because even in fall, Rio’s temperature was something they weren’t used to. Alessandra and Arthur soon warmed up to Carol and they all took pictures together. She spread a beach towel on the sand and put her hair a bun. She took off her coverall. Harry was drinking the first of many caipirinha drinks (which was just sugar, vodka, lemon juice and ice) and was thankful for his sunglasses. He was literally checking her out. She had an amazing body and her curves only made her even more beautiful, she didn’t have any scars or bruises from the incident and he was glad for it, nothing should be left for her to remember those days and her smooth skin should stay as perfect as it was right now. She asked Lara to apply sunscreen on her back and he had to bit his tongue to not ask to do it himself. Skippy was observing his friend and threw a sea shell at him.

“Oi. What was that for?” he asked turning to look at his friend.

“Don’t make it so obvious, mate.” Skippy answered before taking a sip from his passion fruit caipirinha.

The girls were sunbathing closer to the guys, and Lara asked Carol how she was feeling. She had heard about the her father’s scandal and about her ex-boyfriend cheating.

“I could be better, you know. But now I really want to enjoy my vacation days to heal and forget. But I’m not ever starting a new relationship.”

Alessandra just laughed and Lara smirked. She knew better. Harry couldn’t be more obvious about his interest on the brunette. It was only a matter of time before they were a couple. Lara knew Carol would be the one walking down the aisle with Harry. Carol just didn’t know it yet, but her friend would help them if they ever needed a little push.

They spent the whole day on the beach. They played volleyball (which was a disaster because the boys had drank way too much caipirinhas and kept falling on the sand), they went for a stroll where the couples had their hands intertwined and Harry and Carol were just awkwardly walking side by side behind them, they took pictures and even had lunch and dinner at a small restaurant nearby. They were glad Carol knew the city so well, because she was showing them what Brazilian people had best: their hospitality.

(…)

They woke up early the next day. Arthur and Skippy were with a terrible headache and Carol was having the time of her life to make fun of them.

“You’re like that on your first day already?” she said and Skippy simple threw the napkin at her.

Their first stop of the day would be at Christ the Redemeer Monument.

She tipped them to seat on the right side of the street car-like train that took them up there. They struggled a bit to take a photo where it showed all of them and The Christ. After that, the couples separated and Carol was leaning on the border to watch the view. Harry went to her and copied her position.

“A penny for your thought.” he said and smiled.

And she took her time to admire it. He had such a beautiful and genuine smile.

“I am just glad I get to be here with you all.” she said while he put a strand of hair behind her ear.

(…)

Although it is prohibited, Carol and Skippy tried to give bananas to the small monkeys they found near the forest. They chased them for a while, but the monkeys only took the fruit when it was left untouched on the ground and when the two silly humans were away from it. Which frustrated both Carol and Skippy and gave their friends something to make fun of them. They had lunch at the restaurant before changing location. Lara wanted to visit the sugar loaf mountain and Carol was the one in charge to buy their tickets.

Harry noticed that as soon they entered the cabin Carol held her breath.

“What’s wrong?” He asked staying behind while his friends got the best spot.

“I fucking hate this shit.” she said under her breath.

“Why?”

“Well… it’s too high. If it’s windy we can feel it shaking and it’s only sustained by a rope.” she was holding onto the safety bar and saw the automatic door closing. It would only stop when it reached the first mountain’s peak.

“It’s a steel rope. A very resistant steel rope.”

“But a rope anyway.” she closed her eyes and she could actually feel the wind shaking the cabin, but of course it was only her fear of heights taking the best of her.

“Carol” Harry approached her and took her in an embrace. “Listen to my voice and forget where you are.”

She held on him tight and she had her eyes closed. Harry was surprised that his first reaction wasn’t to make fun of her, it was to take her mind out of her fear.

“It’s a beautiful view from up here.” he was saying just above a whisper and he kissed her temple. He felt her body relax and her breath came back to it’s normal pace.

“I look ridiculous right now, don’t I?” she asked daring to open her eyes and staring at his blue ones.

“Of course not. You could never look ridiculous.” he said. “And look. We’re here.”

He helped her out of the cabin and they waited for their friends before exploring the first mountain. The view was spectacular and the weather was perfect. The other two couple decided to take the other cabin and go to the second mountain and Harry decided to stay back with her.

“You can go with them, you know.” she said taking a sip from his beer.

“I know. But I’d rather stay here.” he looked at her.

“Well… Thank you then.”

(…)

The girls were getting ready at Carol’s room. They were going out tonight. Carol couldn’t wait to be able to dance and drink and have fun. She took a long shower and put on the outfit she had brought. It was a leather black mini skirt and a cross wrapped cropped top.

“Wow!” Lara said when Carol left the bathroom.

“What?” she asked her friend while drying her hair with a towel. “Too much?”

“Well… You’re dressed to impress. And here I thought your look on Harry’s party was sexy one.”

“What do you do to have those legs?” Alessandra asked and Carol smiled shyly.

“You both are exaggerating… It’s just a skirt and a top.”

Alessandra and Lara just exchanged looks and laughed.

Carol styled her hair and left it straight. It was longer than before and in the middle of her back. She fastened her necklace and did her make up. She had a very smokey and sexy eye and a deep wine lipstick that made her green eyes stand up.

Alessandra and Lara, after seeing Carol’s look, decided to change their outfits and she helped them to get ready. Bill was knocking on their door and the boys were calling them from the corridor.

Carol put on her heels and got everything she needed. Her room’s key, her ID, her phone and money. She was the last one to leave the room and Harry was texting someone on his phone, completely unaware it was time to go.

And he gulped loud when he saw her locking her door. He literally looked her from head to toe. Her legs were longer because of the heels. She had a bit of tan after only a day sunbathing but her skin was smooth and shiny. Her skirt was way above her knee but it only heightened her waist and hips and he couldn’t help to think it was a sin for her to wear that skirt with that butt. Parts of her flat stomach was showing and her top seemed to make her boobs bigger. And her lips, he always preferred when she wore dark lipsticks, oh those lips with that smile would be the end of him.

“Come on! Let’s party” she said walking up to them and they all, minus Harry, cheered.

“Fifty pounds tonight’s the night.” Skippy whispered on his wife’s ear after they both watched Harry looking at Carol.

“Honey, I don’t lose money that easy. Fifty pounds tonight’s the night and a whole month of house chores that they’re getting together for the rest of our trip.”

“I say they’ll leave here dating.”

“It’s on!” Lara said before joining them on the car that would take them to Mirroir.

(…)

The ride to the club was a short one. They were chatting loudly, they were making fun of each other and Bill was looking like an annoyed parent driving kids to school. He got them their tickets, he booked a secured box and they all had to get in through the back entrance. They arrived early so they could get to their box without anyone seeing them, and once there, no one could see what they were doing inside, but they had a privileged view from the main bar and dance floor.

Harry had barely arrived and asked for a glass of Scotch and a bottle of vodka. He had to start drinking to stop having dirty thoughts about his best friend. He had to clear his mind before she noticed it.

“I don’t want anyone drinking on an empty stomach” Carol said after ordering a bottle of champagne and a plate full of Brazilian snacks. She asked for a full serving plate of Brazil’s most known dish: coxinhas - It was a dough filled with chicken and catupiry cheese - and a mixed one with kibes, bolinhos de queijo e risoles. They all fell in love with it (like Carol knew they would) and asked for more.

The music was still dance music at the beginning and they watched the club filling up from their balcony. Carol was simply moving her body to the sound of the music and drinking vodka mixed with strawberry juice. Lara and Alessandra were by her side and they were having fun pinpointing people on the main dance floor and trying to find out who would make out with who.

Harry sat on the leather couch and was sipping from his glass when Arthur and Skippy sat by his side. His best friend had a smirk and Arthur were poking Harry’s shoulders now and then.

“What?” asked the prince.

“Skippy told me that you’ve got a crush on Carol.” Arthur said. “And it’s totally understandable why, mate.”

“I don’t have a crush on her.” Harry defended himself.

“Of course you have. You have a crush on her since your party last year.” Skippy said.

“You wankers are already drunk and talking shit.” Harry refilled his glass and took a large sip from it.

“Deny as much as you want, Your Royal Highness.”

Harry just rolled his eyes and wondered why he had brought his friends to this trip.

(…)

After some time, sertanejo music started playing. They all were already tipsy and Carol was trying to teach them how to dance to it. She was laughing and wondering how on earth someone couldn’t just move their hips. It was such an easy movement that would allow them to dance and not look like robots.

“So guys can ask a girl to dance and not hook up with her?” asked Alessandra trying to copy Carol’s steps.

“Yes. it’s pretty common in here. You can dance with lots of people and not necessarily make out with them. At Villa, I dance with my friends and some guys that I don’t know. But that’s just it. A dance.” she explained.

“That’s cool.” Lara answered.

Carol bit her lip and looked at their box’s door.

“I’m gonna show you guys something.” she said and opened the door. As soon as she disappeared on the stairs, they all leaned on the border to see where she was going. She walked around the dance floor and another song was about to start. Harry was about to go downstairs to get her when a guy asked her to dance. He didn’t touch her, he wasn’t rude. He simply leaned and spoke close to her ear, so she would hear what he was saying over the loud music, and asked her to dance. She smiled and said yes. He led her to the dance floor and they all understood what Carol meant one must move their hips to dance.

Harry was amazed by her. She was smiling, she was dancing perfectly and she made it so effortless. She attended dance classes for the most part of her life and, for Harry, it looked like she was already a professional. She saw Carol hugging the guy and thanking him at the end of the song. And when she was trying to leave the dance floor, another one asked her and she just went.

It took a whole hour for her to get back. Arthur and Alessandra had ventured to go downstairs and were trying to dance on a more empty corner. Carol came back already looking for a glass. She was panting and thirsty and had a thin line of sweat on her forehead. She drank a bit of water (that also helped her to not get drunk too fast) and sipped from Harry’s glass while the waiter would fetch her another one.

“Wow, Carol! Why didn’t you tell us you’re a professional dancer?” Lara asked.

“I’m not a professional. I just do it regularly and I learned a few things here and there.” Carol said giving Harry’s glass back, he made sure to touch her fingers when he got it and she stared at him in the eyes before shaking her head and changing her attention to their friends again. She was sitting beside him and had her legs crossed. Harry was trying to pay attention to the conversation but he couldn’t help but stare at her legs. He felt the perfume she was wearing and it was intoxicating his senses. He shook his head a couple of times to try to clear his mind. This was Carol. His best friend Carol. He couldn’t be attracted to her.

He shouldn’t be attracted to her.

He had never seen her like this. He thought she was hot? Of course. He thought she was smart and funny and loving? Yeah. He thought about how her lips would feel on his? Yes. For fucking sure. But he couldn’t have those kind of wondering. She was his friend. His best friend and he wouldn’t mess it up. She was vulnerable at the moment. He had just broken up (almost a month ago is time enough to be looking for someone else, his brain reminded him). He didn’t want to play with her feelings and didn’t want to lose her friendship.

“HARRY” she yelled after trying to get his attention.

“Yeah? Sorry….” he looked at her “What were you saying?’

“I was asking you to dance forró with me.” she was up and had her hands outstretched to him. He simply held on it and got up. They were to the other side of the box and she was teaching him where he should place his hands and time counting of this rhythm that was so alike the previous one.

“It’s a two step dance. We go left to right and back and forth. The order you can pick. You can spin me too” she as teaching him and talking close to his ear. “It’s not difficult, come on.”

Harry’s hand was on her waist and the other was holding her hand. The music wasn’t fast and he was trying to guide her. They spent the first part of the song trying to find a pace, but by the end of it, they were dancing and he was even daring to spin her a couple of times.

They didn’t notice their friends looking at them with huge grins on their faces (Arthur and Alessandra had come back to have a drink), nor that they danced at least three songs together.

He was enjoying being this close to her. To feel her body under his hands. He was enjoying to lead her in the dance, he was enjoying the way her hips were swaying. He wouldn’t lie, he was spinning her a lot of times just to see her body more closely. She was smiling and calm. She couldn’t help but stare at his blue eyes and feel comfortable. They stopped after a while and she hugged him she whispered “Thank you” on his ear, he just closed his eyes and tried not to think how sexy her voice sounded.

Skippy had the idea to order caipirinhas and tequila for them. They were taking drunk selfies and having fun. Someone on the stage mentioned it was almost 2am and that they were going back to dance music before playing funk. Carol smiled brightly. She liked the listen to funk because of the beat. No one could stay still with that beat, no one disliked it. The only thing she didn’t enjoy was the lyrics but at the moment she was drunk and wasn’t giving a damn to the lyrics.

Skippy poured them the shots of tequila and they timed who’d drink the six glasses first.

Lara won with Carol following closely behind.

“I think you two should start to drink like girls” Lara said to Harry and Skippy that had sour faces.

“GIRL POWER!” Alessandra shouted and they all laughed.

(…)

Carol was sitting on the stool and laughing about anything when a beat started to play.

Tun tun tun, tun tun tun.

“OH MY GOD. THAT’S MY SONG!”

tun tun tun, tun tun tun.

She got up and took the girls with her, they went to the box’s window and Carol started dancing to a song they all tried to pronounce the name: “Bumbum Granada.” She was teaching the girls how to dance to it and they didn’t believe that people actually danced like that. The only thing Carol did was to point downstairs and they could see lots of girls dancing, lots of guys grinding them and couples making out on the dance floor. The boys soon joined them and were watching people dancing too.

The song soon changed to another one that was a bit more fast than the other and the DJ was remixing the Sanfoninha’s singer’s voice when she said: “Vocês pensaram que eu não ia rebolar a minha bunda hoje, né?”

“What is she saying?” asked Harry behind Carol.

“You guys thought I wasn’t gonna twerk my ass today, huh?” she answered and smiled mischievously.

She started to move her hips to the beat of the music that changed from really slow to really fast. She had her legs semi opened and she was moving her butt up and down with very controlled movements. She had a sexy expression and wiggled her but, up and down, left to right. She had her hands on her knees and at a certain point of the song she was crouching close to the floor and still wiggling her butt.

Harry’s mouth went dry. He knew she liked to party and that she danced. But he didn’t think she would dance a sexy dance like this one. She was so fucking hot and he couldn’t take his eyes of her ass. He could feel his arousal with that scene. He took a look and saw that almost all girls were dancing like that. He didn’t notice that his friends had left them to go to the main dance floor.  

Carol was dancing and having the time of her life, she looked at Harry and saw that he was watching her dance. She smiled and twerking her hips she was standing again. Even though the other people weren’t there anymore and there were plenty of space, Harry was still behind her.Carol was moving her butt and hips so fast to the song’s beat and at some point she took a step backwards. She could feel Harry’s body close to hers and she kept dancing.

His mind was rushing and he knew he had to come back to their table, he knew he had to step away from her before doing something out of emotion. But what man would step back when a goddess like Carol was dancing sensually in front of him? They were alone in a secluded and dark place, they were drunk and they weren’t thinking.

“To hell with reason” Harry whispered before taking a step forward. Now her body was touching his. He put his hand on her hip and she simply looked at him over he shoulder and bit her lip. She was still wiggling her body and twerking her hips. And she was more encouraged when she felt he was hard. He started to move his body to follow hers. He was grinding his best friend. And he was enjoying it.

And to be honest, so was she. She didn’t start dancing to tease him. She danced because she felt like it, because she liked it and because there wasn’t many things more relaxing and empowering than a good night of funk dancing. But she also wasn’t surprised when Harry’s firm hands touched her hips. She wasn’t surprised when he started dancing with her. But she was surprised when she felt him hard on her back. It was a boost to her self esteem. He was like that, because of her. He thought she was hot and there wasn’t a clearer sign about it than the one she was feeling right now. She closed her eyes when the DJ changed to a more calm funk song. She was slowly twerking and she felt his other hand on her waist, he tightened his hold when she was moving her ass up and down his shaft. Harry closed his eyes and gently rubbed his lips down her exposed neck. Carol shivered when she felt his hot breath on her nape. Her skin had goosebumps and she let out a soft moan and closed her eyes again.

He suddenly stopped kissing her neck and she was surprised and confused. She turned and looked at him. His eyes were filled with desire and lust. He simply grabbed her by the hand and took her to the corridor that led to the bathroom. She followed him but her mind was a bit dizzy. She only wanted his lips on he neck again. She only wanted to feel his hands on her body. She didn’t have much time to think about it anymore because he pressed her against a wall and smiled. He had a damn sexy smile that made her legs go weak. She looked at him and bit her lip teasing him. And that’s when he got closer again. He held her by the waist and pressed his body against her. He looked in her eyes and was preparing himself for when she’d ask him to stop. He would. He fucking would stop this crazy shot in the dark if she asked him to. But she didn’t. She embraced him and ran her nails through his hair and down his nape. She was defying him to break this moment and enchantment. Their breaths were labored, they were aroused and his face was getting closer to hers by the second, but not at all fast enough.

He ran a hand from her waist to her tight and lifted it a little bit, he wanted her to feel what she had done to him doing that fucking amazing dance. She felt he was hard and smiled. She mischievously smiled and he thought she was sexy as fuck in that moment. Not wanting to lose any more time, he crashed his lips on hers and she gladly accepted. Their kiss was passionate. They wouldn’t be able to describe the feeling of their first kiss. They didn’t start small, they wanted the full making out session. Harry was tightening his hold on her body and she discovered a point on his neck where she kept rubbing circles with her nails.

Their tongues were trying to win a battle. They both were fighting for domination. Until Carol gave up and let Harry do his magic. He slowed down the pace of the kiss and he was teasing her with his tongue, but also he was trying to know what she liked. And she was showing him. Her moans in the middle of the kiss were the answer Harry was looking for. In an impulse, he raised her body and held her against the wall, she was quick to wrap her legs around his body and her hands were now cupping his face, she could feel more of him in that position because he took advantage that she wsa using a skirt and made her body rub up and down over his hardness. She gave small bites on his lips to mask her moans when she felt it, and on the tip of his tongue and he smiled. But different from before, he had a naughty smile on his face. They had to part for breath. Harry put Carol back on the ground but he wouldn’t dare to take a step away from her. He was kissing her neck and biting on it. She was moaning softly and clutching to his shirt. Her eyes were closed and she wanted him. She wanted to feel his body. She wanted it, and wanted it now.

She was still listening to the songs playing and she started to dance again. Harry’s body was still pretty close to hers and she was dancing again. Somehow she turned around and was facing the wall while Harry’s hands were running freely through her body. He tried to make her stop, because his boner was almost to the point of causing him pain.

“If you don’t stop it, I’m gonna fuck you right here.” he whispered in her ear while he felt her twerking on him.

“Then fuck me.” she looked over her shoulder and stared at him in the eye before answering and leading her hand to the front of his trousers. She held him and ran her nails over it a couple of times.

He only had a moment of hesitance. But as fast as it came, it went away. He grabbed her hand and they only informed Bill they were going back to the hotel. Harry’s bodyguard knew what was about to happen and didn’t ask questions or offered to drive them. He knew his boss wanted to be alone and he would grant it to him. Also he was getting lucky himself and Harry knew what to do if he got caught or spotted. They didn’t say goodbye to their friends who were still dancing. Harry impatiently paid their bill and left with her through the back door. He had his hands on her back while they waited and she kept biting her lip and looking at him.

“Fucking stop it, Carolina.” he hissed kissing her again and biting her lip in the middle of it. They had to stop soon, because Carol had asked for a cab to the barman and it had arrived. Somehow they behaved during the ride. He had her hands in the middle of his and they were grinning at each other. They didn’t think about their friends, they didn’t think Harry might be spotted. The only thing they were thinking was to get a room. Harry actually ran out of the car when they arrived at the hotel. He only slowed his pace because she was wearing heels and even then after they were in their corridor, he made her walk fast while guiding her to his room (that was a three room suite) and locking it’s doors once she stepped inside.

“I hope you’re good on fulfilling your promises, Henry.” she said staring at him and coming his way. His name never was that sexy. He loved that she had called him Henry with that voice, with that smile.

He raised an eyebrow and went to her again. This time, the first thing Harry grabbed was her ass, he even gave it a little smack before kissing her again while directing her to the bedroom.

A/N: FINALLY! FINALLY! FINALLY! 

I WANTED TO POST THIS CHAPTER EVER SINCE I WROTE IT. AND I KNOW YOU GUYS ARE WAITING FOR THIS TO HAPPEN. I KNOW. 

No more threats, please. hahaaha 

But before we talk about the awesomeness of their first kiss, lets cover a few things, ok?

The tittle of the chapter is part of a Brazilian song, and you can listen to it here. 

And this is such a genuine brazilian chapter that i’m proud to introduce for those of you who don’t know a few things from my country. I have linked Carol’s outfits, the foods, drinks, songs, dances, the nightclub, the sightseeing spots they went on the chapter, so please, go check it out.

You should totally go watch the Sanfoninha video. It’s the song that Carol danced that drove Harry crazy and you can understand what I tried to describe of her dancing. And yes, we do dance like that at some parties. #sorrynotsorry

And Harry and Carol are finally hooking up. Next chapter is actually their first time, yes I wrote a sex scene and it came out good enough. 

Let me know what you guys think of it. 

See ya next Saturday. (yep, no wednesday post next week :( )

[bangtan--ff-blog]

Whatever It Takes - Chapter 21

Summary - Y/N has moved to Seoul and landed a job working at the company that her godmother Kay composes for. Four months after her heart was broken, she’s left to figure out how to be away from her widowed father for the first time in her life. Genre - Angst/Fluff Word count: 2,500(ish) A/N - You’ll notice that this is a bit of a filler chapter, but I hope you enjoy anyway! ---

I woke up the next morning with the driest mouth in the world and a headache that made every movement painful. I tried to recall exactly what had happened and how I got home and drew a blank. I raised myself up slowly and almost screamed when I saw a sleeping figure bundled up in blankets at the bottom of my bed. I was filled with a cold dread as I began to slowly piece together the end of my night. Ok, I threw up - then I passed out in the cab on the way home. Jae! Jae brought me back to my house and then oh my god. Jimin. Why was Jimin even here in the first place though? Of all the nights to turn up at my house... I furiously tried to remember and then it suddenly hit me. I called him. Oh god, I fucking called him. I suppressed a groan and slowly leaned forward to try and get a good look at the sleeping figure at the bottom of the bed. I was unsuccessful and I felt the urge to cry when I realised that it could have been either of my exes. That thought alone somehow made my hangover 10 times worse. I looked around for my handbag hoping to locate my phone and was surprised to see it sitting on charge on the nightstand beside a glass of water and two Advil’s. I glanced over at the sleeping form again before taking the Advil and downing the water. I checked my phone and saw that Taemin had been blowing it up through the night. I read the messages from him and it looked as though either JB or Jimin had contacted him to let him know I was safe, because the messages went from frantic to, “tomorrow you are telling me EVERYTHING.” Then I opened the messages from Namjoon. “I would yell at you for making us worry, but we all make mistakes, and I feel as though you’re going to have it bad enough when you wake up tomorrow.” “I’m obviously not ~just~ referring to the hangover..." I sunk lower into the bed and cringed. This was bad. So, so irresponsible and so, excruciatingly bad. Also, I really had to pee. Deciding things couldn’t get any worse, I decided to make a break for the bathroom and risk waking up my unwanted guest. I closed the door behind me as quietly as I could. As I stood in front of the sink to wash my hands and brush my teeth I noticed that my make up had been taken off and I frowned, knowing full well that I was in no fit state to have done it myself. Following that realisation, I felt myself slip into an even deeper state of humiliation. One of my god damn ex-boyfriends had to tie up my hair and take off my make up while I lay comatose. I groaned and thudded down on the toilet, too embarrassed to care about waking up whoever was in my room. Besides, I could just stay in here until they left... I tried to figure out which one of the two heartbreaks were more likely to have stayed. Jaebum had always been fiercely over protective, and he’d certainly dealt with me being smashed on a number of occasions during our three year relationship in college (and visa versa) but the make-up, that was a very Jimin thing to do… This was the guy who had bathed me at the cabin after I collapsed. A person who thought of my well-being before anything else… I shook my head. Either way it was humiliating and I might as well just get this whole awkward situation over and done with. In the back of my mind I was kind of hoping that it was Jaebum who had stayed. It wasn’t even that he had seen me in worse situations at college - I knew Jimin wouldn’t have been phased about that - it was that I just wasn’t ready to face Jimin yet. I knew I had to apologise to him and give him some sort of explanation about last night, but I was feeling very fragile currently. The idea of seeing someone, that I was still very much in love with, in my current state made me want to throw up and it had nothing to do with the alcohol consumed the night before. I stood up and took a deep breath before leaving the bathroom. My mystery guest had woken up and was sitting on the end of my bed. I grimaced, before saying “oh, it was you…” At that point Jimin looked crestfallen and he rubbed the back of his neck awkwardly. I could have kicked myself. Why did I just say that? I know he took it in a way that I really did not mean and my stomach clenched painfully. I tried to think of something to say but Jimin spoke first. “Yeah, um.. The other guy- Jaebum, he’s sleeping in the spare room. I didn’t really like to leave you alone up here with him since I’d never met him, so I slept in here. I’m sorry I didn’t-“ “He’s here too?!” I almost shouted, cutting Jimin off. Jimin nodded and I squeezed my eyes shut. So this is what Namjoon meant. How positively wonderful. I sat down on the bed, oblivious to Jimin’s awkward demeanour and then, as if things couldn’t get any worse, JB appeared in the doorway. He was still wearing the clothes he had on the night before, only his hair was kind of messy, giving him a very ‘fucked out’ look which, if I’m being honest, made me want to die. I inhaled through my nose and stood up. “Okay, you guys. Thank you. Thank you so much for this, seriously - I am so grateful that you both made sure I was okay and safe, and if it’s any consolation I will literally NEVER live down this embarrassment.” I forced out a smile before continuing. “But I need to shower, and I have work to do, soooo…” Jaebum laughed loudly. “So you want us to get out right?” I rolled my eyes at him and glanced at Jimin who shrugged and gave me a small smile. Shit, I really missed him. JB was still laughing as he walked out into the hallway and down the stairs and I grabbed Jimin by the arm before he could follow. “Look, I really am sorry about last night. Can we - I mean - can I call you later? I feel like I at least owe you an explanation… I’m just so-“ Jimin cut me off this time with a slight shake of the head. “Y/N, it’s fine - really. Just call me later okay?” I nodded and returned his smile, feeling a little bit lighter. “What about me?!” Jae shouted from the bottom of the stairs, completely ruining the moment. I stomped past Jimin and marched down the stairs and Jae grinned at me angelically. “Did I not save you from being kidnapped outside of Octagon, then graciously bring you back home?” I rolled my eyes at him again - it seemed he had become the king of evoking that reaction from me. “I am very grateful for what you did. Really, I am, but I will not be calling you later. Or ever” I added as Jimin came down the stairs and slipped on his shoes. “That’s fine” Jaebum replied, still smirking as he glanced from Jimin back to me. “I know where you live now.” He wiggled his eyebrows at me before ducking out of the front door to avoid being smacked around the head, and laughing as he ran down the front steps. I groaned as I realised that Jae, wherever he was heading, was walking. That meant he was currently living within walking distance of me. This was not in any way, shape or form, a good thing. I shook my head and turned to Jimin, who was looking at me a little bit strangely with a smile on his face. He nodded towards the open door and said “I can see why you liked him.” I scoffed. “Yeah, sure.” “No I’m serious. Even if you forget the fact that he looks like a model” he said, laughing “he is pretty funny, and he clearly cares about you. I’m actually really grateful he brought you back home safe… I drove to the bar but you were already gone. I didn’t know what to do so I came here. I was so relieved when you showed up - even if it was with another guy.” He laughed again and I covered my face. “Please don’t. I was actually drowning my sorrows.” Jimin cocked his head to one side. “About what?” I shook my head, now wasn’t the time for us to discuss this. I nodded to Jimin and Tae’s car in the drive and smiled, ignoring the question. “I’ll call you later?” Jimin laughed, and for a moment I saw the old Jiminie stood at my door. The one who had fought with Taehyung after he caught an accidental glimpse of my boob. He held up his hands, “okay, okay, you don’t need to tell me twice. I’ll speak to you later.” He waved one last time before getting into his car and I closed the door. Then, remembering what Jae had said prior to his departure, I locked it for good measure. Okay, so that could have gone a lot worse. I mean, there was no screaming... I still couldn’t believe I’d called Jimin though, how pathetic. I padded back upstairs, my energy suddenly depleted and all thoughts of work out of the window. As soon as I’d climbed back into bed my phone started to ring, it was Taemin. I picked up and he fired about 100 questions down the line immediately. Once he had gone quiet, I explained what had happened with Jimin and Jae and he tutted. “Well that was awfully anti-climatic.” I shook my head. “Excuse me, it was traumatising for me, and anyway Jimin and Jaebum aren’t really the fisticuff types..” He hummed in agreement. “Well, since you bailed super early and had your own K-drama fun, I didn’t get to tell you mine..” I could hear the smile in his voice and I sat up, all my issues forgotten at the prospect of hearing gossip from Taemin. “Tell me everything, now.” Taemin laughed. “Hmm, I think I want to tell you this in person. It’s pretty big.” I gasped in shock. “No. Absolutely not, I could have ignored your call but I answered to give you the lowdown. Tell me IMMEDIATELY” Tae remained firm. “No, I don’t think I will, this is far too juicy, I have to see the look on your face when I tell you.” I groaned, “Oh come ON Tae, at least give me a little hint? Please?” I begged. “Okay, okay. I’ll give you a hint - but you have to promise to call me as soon as you’ve spoken to Jimin later?” I nodded furiously even though he couldn’t see me. “Okay, done. Now tell me.” Tae giggled adorably at my excitement and inhaled, enjoying drawing the whole thing out. “Okay, let’s just say that I may not be single for much longer.” My jaw almost hit my lap. “WHAT?! TAE….. WHAT?!” I couldn’t even formulate a sentence, I was so happy and surprised at his revelation. He laughed and then strangely, he lowered his voice to a whisper, “listen, I have to go. Call me later and we’ll have dinner or something.” I regained my composure. “Wait! No, are you with him now?! Why are you whispering? Taemin, tell me everything right now!” Taemin laughed and whispered a hurried goodbye before ending the call. I sat there for a while feeling a little dumbstruck, but happy that at least something good had come out of last night. I checked the time on my phone and decided it was still early enough to take a nap. Later that day, when I was feeling slightly more human after a shower and a carb overdose, I decided to give Jimin a call. I didn’t really know what I was going to say, but I had promised him I’d speak to him so I decided that I’d think of something on the spot. He answered pretty quickly and following the pleasantries and small talk about my hangover, he suggested I come over to the dorm in an hour or so, and we could go for a coffee together. I agreed and hung up. I spent the next hour attempting to concentrate on some work I had to do for the gallery, but the closer the time got to seeing Jimin, the more anxious I felt. I tried to tell myself that it was stupid – I’d only been with him this morning and everything was fine. It was hard though. We were going to talk about us, and I still wasn’t sure where my head was. Sure, I missed him, and I’d told him that last night, but nothing between us had changed, there was no reason why things would work out any differently. I let out a sigh and closed my laptop. I knew that was the case but in the back of my mind I wanted him to give me a reason today to reconsider. I wanted things to work out with us so badly, despite knowing deep down that they never could. As I made the 8 minute journey over to Jimin’s I played the conversation out in my head, trying to harden my resolve and prepare myself. Going was a bad idea, but I had managed to convince myself otherwise. I pulled up outside and my mouth went dry. Okay, I just needed to get through one coffee. I could do that. I knocked on the door and Jimin answered, looking a little nervous. All signs of the old Jiminie from this morning had vanished.   “Before we go in I just wanted to say I’m sorry. They were supposed to be leaving before you came but when they found out you were going to be here they refused to go.” I laughed, “Jimin it’s fine. It will be nice to see the boys.” I said, smiling as we rounded the corner and walked into the living room. The smile slipped from my face when I realized that Jimin wasn’t apologizing about that. His parents and his brother were perched on the couch, the former looking just as stern as the last time I saw them, and his brother looking as uncomfortable as I felt. Not what I needed on the hangover from hell.