#i turn 31 next year and I think one of my new year's resolutions is that life is too short for mediocre coffee

[dionysus-complex]

I have got to start actually making coffee again

[kay-elle-cee]

@jilytoberfest 31 Prompts: Day 24 || 843 Words || Read on Ao3 —

“The eclipse is going to be over if you don’t bloody move, Moony.”

“I’ll move in a minute, Peter, I just put my eye to the thing.”

“There’s a line behind us and James still has to go, hurry.”

Lily’s watching the squabble between the four men at the front of the line with amusement. There’s an urgency that overtakes people when an astrological event happens, and this solar eclipse is no different. The line behind the men is filled with several people, bouncing eagerly for their turn to look through the telescope at the Sinistra Observatory before the eclipse is complete. Looking across the heads of the crowd, she catches the eye of her coworker Alice and the two share an exasperated smile—they had known the crowds would come en masse today, and that always made for great people-watching.

The man at the telescope moves out of the way to stand by his tall friend—long black hair tucked behind his ear and looking at the line behind them with a smirk on his face.

“I knew I threw a fit about it, but getting here early was a smart move.”

The shortest of the group is now looking through the telescope, letting out a breath of awe that fills Lily with a kind of pride—a bit silly, really, seeing as how she wasn’t in control of the cosmos, just a facilitator for viewing it safely. When he finally makes to step away, the last of their group—tall with (she can’t help but notice) muscular forearms and a wild mop of black curls atop his head—steps to the side with them.

“Oh, did you not want to look?”

She doesn’t know why she’s addressed him, holding a hand out to stop the next group of viewers from moving up in line. His eyes meet hers with a bit of surprise.

“I’m fine, thanks.”

She frowns. “The next solar eclipse through this spot isn’t for another forty-seven years. Are you positive?”

His friends are doing a poor job at hiding their amusement, and maybe Lily feels a little bad at the way the man’s cheeks tinge pink but it’s a solar eclipse for Christ’s sake.

“Positive. It’s cool and all but I’m just…not very into space.”

Her hand drops and the slightly-irritated next group runs up to the telescope, all of Lily’s attention on the man. His friends take a few steps away, whispering amongst themselves as Lily’s eyes widen. “What do you mean you’re not very into space?”

“I’m just not, alright?” He casts a glance over at his friends, who seem to be enjoying the fiasco. “Are we ready?”

“Nah, mate,” the tallest one says. “We’re enjoying this.”

“But—there’s so much we don’t know about the universe…you can’t just not like it. What about space travel, or the makeup of planets or stars or the vastness of our galaxy? The fact that there’s trillions of galaxies other than our own? All the new images showing them to us in resolutions we couldn’t even dream of a decade ago?” She lets out a little chuckle of disbelief. “It’s just all so…vast. How can you not care?”

The man shifts uncomfortably, eyes flickering from her face to the line behind her as he drops his voice. “Well if you must know, that’s exactly why.”

“What?”

“There’s just…so much. So much we don’t know, so much we can’t even fathom. The amount of time it takes for light to travel or a picture to develop…it’s freaky, alright? And it just goes on forever? A beginning out of nothingness and then just…continual growth forever? Forever?” His cheeks continue to flush with his every word, Lily struck silent by the urgency in which his tirade picks up speed. “And how did the universe form in the first place? What space existed for space to appear? Nothingness? I literally cannot wrap my head around it. And we’re the only planet that sustains life? That we’ve ever seen? What the fuck?”

The man takes a breath and Lily blinks. “Wow.”

“Sorry,” he apologizes, running a hand through his hair with a sigh. “I just—once I get thinking on it, it kind of just—”

“Tumbles out?” she asks with a raise of her brow, a smile tugging at her lips. “I’m the same. Well, the same in the opposite, you know, opinion of things.”

“Maybe he just needs someone to properly explain things to him,” someone calls from the side, and when Lily looks, the sandy-haired man has his hand clamped over the tall one’s mouth, the shortest of the three trying to bury his snickering into the collar of his jacket.

“Oi!” Scared-of-Space yells in their direction, and Lily can see a new wave of blush travel up his neck.

“Don’t worry,” she whispers conspiratorially, “you’re not the first person I’ve met who’s afraid of space.”

“Yeah?”

“Yeah,” she nods, a smile breaking out on her face. “You are the first one above the age of twelve, though.”

“Ouch.”

“I’m teasing.” Lily smiles, and he returns it with relief.

[wyndford-dekarios-majima]

Drabblecember 31: Happy New Year

pairing(s): Melt Me (Meryl Lynn Wyllt x Jack 'Ace' Kings), Biting You Hard On The Arm (Atom Beiti-Wyndford & Jack 'Ace' Kings), A Clock Doesn't Have A Winning Hand (Arthur Pendragon Wyllt & Jack 'Ace' Kings), Aces & Kings (Pearson Wyndford x Jack 'Ace' Kings), Nice Acid Pool, Man (Salem Liu x Jack 'Ace' Kings)

wc: 941

context: it me birthday so i write as long as i want

Ace looked up at the sky, arms crossed. It was close to midnight. It should’ve been dark, but of course, it was New Year’s, so they wore their veiled hat. They’d been invited out, and they didn’t want to say no. They currently lurked in a more secluded spot in the town circle, recreationally holding a flute of champagne.

They looked down as they heard someone approaching, and their shoulders relaxed when they saw it was someone they knew. Meryl offered a kind smile as she approached, then fell back to a content neutrality as she settled in next to them.

“Are you alright?” “Yes, I’m fine. Don’t worry.” “You know I’m going to worry anyways.” “I do.” They looked up again. “I wish you wouldn’t. I worry about myself enough for me, you, and Pearson.” Meryl laughed quietly, then shook her head. “I’m still going to worry anyways, because I love you.”

Ace looked down at her again, and she raised a brow as she smiled. They sighed softly, then leaned down and nudged their mask against her cheek. She winced a bit, and they jerked back as they realised the veil was in the way.

“I- whoops.” She laughed again. It made them feel fuzzy.

They heard more approaching footsteps, and turned just in time to get an armful of Atom. They sighed amicably, squeezing them for a moment before letting go. “Happy new year, kid.” “Happy new year!” They moved on to Meryl next.

Ace looked up as Pearson and Arthur walked up, arm in arm. Ace waved amicably at the two of them, and Arthur scoffed before pulling them into a too-tight hug. Ace squirmed a bit, and Pearson laughed.

“Happy new year then, love!” He lifted the veil while they were trapped in her arms, then pecked the side of the mask. “Arthur’s already got residence over my midnight kiss, sorry.” “Oh, no worries.” They decided to exit his arms via his shadow, popping up on the other side as Arthur grasped at air. “I don’t think I’m gonna stick around for the fireworks, anyway.”

“So, what’s your new years’ resolution, Ace?” Atom looked up at them curiously. Ace tilted their head to the side. “Do I have to have one?” “No…wanting to be a better person? Learn a new skill?” “I’m fine just being me and seeing where that takes me, kid.” They patted the top of Atom’s tophat.

Suddenly, everyone burst into raucous cheering and counting. Ace flinched, looking around in fear for a moment. Pearson gestured to the closest shadow, and Ace tipped the hat that held their veil before dashing into it to escape the fireworks.

They exited the shadows, slumping into Salem’s desk chair with a sigh. Salem glanced over at them from the window, then looked back outside.

“Still not a fan of fireworks?” “Never have been. Never will be.” They stretched, then took off the hat and tossed it into the shadows. “Any new years’ resolutions?” “Protect and serve Ringford. As always.” Salem’s brow furrowed slightly in annoyance. “You ask me this every year.” “Just to check if you’re the same old Salem every year.” They sat up, drumming their fingers on the desk. Then, they finally took notice of the purple box on the desk, wrapped with gold ribbon. “Who’s the box for?” “For you.” He folded his arms behind his back. “I noticed you never informed me of a birth date, so I looked through the census.” “...Like you care about my birthday.” “I don’t,” He claimed, despite the evidence to the contrary sitting in Ace’s hands. “Just open it.”

They untied the bow, then freed the container from its lid. They set it down for a moment, to take off their mask, then looked inside properly.

“...Is this custom?” They gingerly picked up the revolver sitting in the box, turning it over in their hands slowly. Salem looked over at them again, to gauge their reaction of the gift. “Yes. I had the best gunsmith I could find in a timely manner create it.” They seemed pleased, and so he was pleased with himself. “This is a practical gift. You need something better than a letter opener if you’re to protect this country and yourself.”

Ace gently opened the chamber, inspecting everything thoroughly. It all seemed to be in order, and made lovingly to boot. The grip even matched their outfit and theme. They closed it again, then noticed the holster.

“...Where’s the holster meant to rest?” “On the small of your back.” “Would you mind helping me with it?”

Salem sighed begrudgingly, then made his way over to the desk. Ace stood, then leaned over it, bracing themself like they always did. He took the holster from the box, then pulled up their coat a bit. They tried not to shift as he undid their belt, instead focusing on the gun. It was clean, at least. Hopefully it fired straight. As he put their belt back into its loops, they could feel the extra weight of the holster on their back, then the extra weight of him as he leaned forward to try and find the buckle better. After it was done up again, he removed himself from them entirely. They slid the gun into the holster, then straightened back up. They turned around, leaning back on one elbow as they reached into where their face should be to pull it out. He simply observed as they put it in place, testing their jaw a bit before looking at him with a bit of a smile.

“Happy new year, then, Salem.” “Happy new year, Ace.”

[kookaburra1701]

From the asks list <3

4. Where do you find inspiration for new ideas?

31. Do you start with the characters or the plot when writing?

57. Do you prefer editing as you write, or waiting until it’s finished?

Eeeee ty. Questions from here.

4. Where do you find inspiration for new ideas?

Oh man. I honestly don't know. I wish I did, because I could then shut off the flow while I work through the massive WIP backlog. What tends to happen is I'm writing a fic and a side character hijacks my brain and I think about what fun Situations I can put them in and then BAM new WIP(s.) But I think the answer to this is actually the same as the answer to the next question...

31. Do you start with the characters or the plot when writing?

Which is both and neither! (Useful, right?)

Generally, the process goes like this: I get an image or a very, very short scene in my head. Usually there's very specific characters in this scene or image, but not always, so I guess the answer would lean towards characters. I have no idea what events led up to this scene. But I replay the scene over and over in my head and think about what events happened before to lead up to it and what events would happen after to make a satisfying resolution (If the scene is not an ending scene.)

The story outline then grows as keep letting the full narrative grow from that seed-scene. I have a doc filled with a lot of those scene seeds, some of them get wrapped up into existing WIPs, some are waiting to see if they'll grow into something on their own. This is also the root of why I do not write in order - sometimes the story is growing backwards and I often don't find the "beginning" until well after I've figured out what the "end" should be!

For example, I've still got the "seed" that grew into Wives of Shor...and I actually have no idea where in the fic I'm going to put it any more, because the story brambles have grown in so many directions!

Kaidan and Inigo shared a knowing look before each moved silently to the perimeter of the small hollow. Pascale and Lucien, completely absorbed in exploring every crack and crevice in the overgrown pile of rocks which had once been an ancient Nordic megalith, did not notice. Inigo stood next to a fir tree, its drooping boughs breaking up his silhouette. Kaidan could see his right hand resting casually on the hilt of his sword as the khajiit’s sharp eyes scanned the forest. A twig snapped to Kaidan’s right. His head snapped around, looking for the source. Hoofbeats and crashing brush heralded an elk followed by her calf appearing from the thicket. The cow took one look at him and immediately turned back. Kaidan took his hand off his sword. They had likely come to drink from the spring seeping up from the foot of the tumbled stones. Lucien’s laughter bubbled up behind him, and Kaidan spared a glance at the two. Pascale was crouched on one of the taller rocks, watching Lucien dig around in his pack. Lucien was clearly laughing in response to one of her quips. Kaidan felt a pang – so much passed between Pascale and Lucien that he would never understand.

This scene - Kaidan feeling on the outside looking in while he and Inigo did the job of keeping everyone safe while the archaeology nerds explore with no thought to danger just popped into my head one day back in 2020 (judging by the timestamp on the first iteration of this in my computer.) I turned this scene and replayed it over and over for over a year before I realized I wanted Kaidan and Lucien have bodice-rippery sex-pollen escapades, and that was something that was going to happen after this scene. The story-vine grew forward to connect them, and I waited for it to grow backwards to the start...but instead the bodice-ripper sex-pollen romp sent out a stolon that COMPLETELY BYPASSED the original seed and the beginning was disconnected. The plant metaphor might be getting away from me here.

57. Do you prefer editing as you write, or waiting until it’s finished?

Once again, it's both? I tend to write in bursts that I don't edit, but then before making too much progress past that get edited on their own. Then at the end before publishing I do several rounds of gestalt editing to find plot holes, inconsistencies, etc that crop up from my piecemeal writing style. I usually at this point print out the entire chapter and mark it up with an actual pencil because that's a good way for my brain to see errors that I've become blind to.

Then it goes off to beta for several rounds. When my beta is done (or is sick of me ha ha) I do another print out round of editing.

[heavyasafeather]

2024

1. What did you do in 2024 that you’d never done before?

I went to Seattle. I started playing Ghost of Tsushima.

2. Did you keep your new years’ resolutions, and will you make more for next year?

I told myself to workout during lunch or take the stairs more, and I barely did that. I usually don’t make resolutions, I don’t even know why I tried.

3. Did anyone close to you give birth?

–

4. Did anyone close to you die?

My sister.

5. What countries did you visit?

–

6. What would you like to have in 2025 that you lacked in 2024?

Joji.

7. What date from 2024 will remain etched upon your memory, and why?

September 3 - my Manangjoymon passed away.

8. What was your biggest achievement of the year?

I mean, so far I have a 4.0 GPA?

This may have she been from mourning, but I lost 5 pounds.

9. What was your biggest failure?

Not visiting as often when she was still around...

10. Did you suffer illness or injury?

I don't know if this counts as an illness, but I developed some liver thing.

11. What was the best thing you bought?

A new phone, I guess.

12. Whose behaviour merited celebration?

Is this ever a thing?

13. Whose behaviour made you appalled and depressed?

Literally everybody. Fuck all of you.

14. Where did most of your money go?

Bills, school.

15. What did you get really, really, really excited about?

Getting assigned Port Angeles for externship (and then my school notified me that site was unavailalble, so that sucked).

16. What song will always remind you of 2024?

This seems hard, because I feel like I've listened to music the least this year.

Ceramic Animal, "Sweet Unknown"

Motorama, "Heavy Wave"

Tempesst, "Walk on the Water"

17. Compared to this time last year, are you:

i. happier or sadder? Sadder.

ii. thinner or fatter? Fatter.

iii. richer or poorer? I feel poorer.

18. What do you wish you’d done more of?

Skating. Taking pictures.

19. What do you wish you’d done less of?

Being alive.

20. How did you spend Christmas?

Christmas Eve, Adam and I were just at my place watching movies. Christmas Day, Adam and I went to see Nosferatu.

21. Did you fall in love in 2024?

--

22. How will you be spending New Years?

Probably just at Adam's, watching movies.

23. How many one-night stands?

0.

24. What was your favourite TV program?

Kim's Convenience. House of the Dragon [even though this season was not that great]

25. Do you hate anyone now that you didn’t hate this time last year?

Yeah, coworkers.

26. What was the best book you read?

–

27. What was your greatest musical discovery?

I mean... I only really like about 3 songs by her, and haven't actually tried listening to much else - but Chappell Roan I guess?

28. What did you want and get?

A new phone?

29. What did you want and not get?

For her to beat cancer. To go to Port Angeles, WA for externship.

30. What was your favourite film of this year?

Nothing's really standing out to me... Nosferatu?

31. What did you do on your birthday, and how old were you?

I turned 33. It's was only a month ago, and I don't remember what I did. I think I went to Outback with my parents?

32. What one thing would have made your year immeasurably satisfying?

Having the balls to tell people to shut the fuck up. And for Manang Joy to have beaten cancer.

33. How would you describe your personal fashion concept in 2024?

Scrubs.

34. What kept you sane?

Nothing; physics stressed me the fuck out.

35. Which celebrity/public figure did you fancy the most?

--

36. What political issue stirred you the most?

--

37. Who did you miss?

I don't give a fuck anymore.

Manang Joy.

38. Who was the best new person you met?

Did I meet anyone new?

39. Tell us a valuable life lesson you learned in 2024:

–

40. Quote a song lyric that sums up your year.

I have emotional motion sickness, somebody roll the windows down. There are no words in the English language I could scream to drown you out.

[perryvonvicious]

Annual End-of-Year Survey (2024!)

Annual End-of-Year Survey (2024!)

1. How did you ring in the new year for 2024? 

wished my wife a Happy New Year.

2. Who did you kiss at midnight/your first kiss in 2024? 

My wife.

3. What did you do in 2024 that you'd never done before?: 

I drove a monster truck.

4. Did you keep your new year's resolutions, and will you make more for next year? 

I don't make new year's resolutions.

5. Did anyone close to you give birth?: 

No.

6. Did anyone close to you die?: 

Uncle Sid (“Sycho” Sid Vicious/Sid Justice).

7. What places did you visit?: 

Disneyland, The Bay Area, Walt Disney World, Bigfoot 7 in Orlando, Wildwood, NJ., Cape May, NJ., The American Dream Mall in NJ. 

8. What would you like to have in 2025 that you lacked in 2024?: 

Substantial income?

9. What dates from 2024 will remain etched upon your memory, and why?: 

I don’t remember dates. So… none?

10. What was your biggest achievement of the year?: 

I drove a monster truck, and I was on Judge John Hodgman.

11. What was your biggest failure?:

I guess I didn’t make that much money? I don’t know.

12. Did you suffer illness or injury?: 

I had a couple colds. I also had covid in July.

13. What was the best thing you bought?: 

I didn’t really buy much. I bought my wife a portable microscope that attaches to her phone, and she likes it a lot… so that, maybe? But that was only at XMas, so it’s only been a few days.

14. Whose events required celebration?: 

Rip & Delmi got engaged. That was cool.

15. Whose behavior made you appalled and depressed?: 

America.

16. Where did most of your money go?: 

What money?

17. What did you get really, really, really excited about?: 

All kinds of stuff. It was a busy year.

18. What song will always remind you of 2024?: 

Anything from Olivia Rogrigo’s “Guts” or Sabrina Carpenter’s “Short ‘n Sweet”, or The Aquabats’ “Finally!”, or anything by The One and Only PPL MVR.

Compared to this time last year, are you: 

a) Happier or sadder?: Happier.

b) Thinner or fatter?: More muscle.

c) Richer or poorer?: Same-ish?

19. What do you wish you'd done more of?: 

I spent the first ⅔ of the year deeply depressed. I wish I’d gone outside more and exercised more in those months.

20. What do you wish you'd done less of?: 

Wallowing.

21. Did you fall in love in 2024?: 

I fell in love in 2007.

22. How many one-night stands?: 

Zero.

23. How many people did you kiss? 

My wife.

24. What was your favorite TV program?: 

YouTube.

25. Do you hate anyone now that you didn't hate this time last year?: 

I don't think so.

26. What was the best book you read?: 

Every Tool is a Hammer by Adam Savage, and The Anthropocene Reviewed by John Green (technically a re-read)

27. What was your greatest musical discovery?: 

Olivia Rodrigo, Sabrina Carpenter, Daisy Grenade, The One and Only PPL MVR.

28. What did you want and get?: 

Improved mental stability.

29. What did you want and not get?: 

Not much I can think of.

30. What was your favorite film of this year?: 

The Queen of Villains (technically a mini-series)

31. What did you do on your birthday, and how old were you?: 

I turned 40. We went to Kowloons and then saw the Aquabats in Boston.

32. What one thing would have made your year immeasurably more satisfying?: 

If I’d gotten my shit together sooner.

33. How would you describe your personal fashion concept in 2024?: 

Gym shorts/sweatpants and t-shirts/tank tops… or jeans and flannel… but also shirtless a LOT.

34. What kept you sane?: 

The sun.

35. Which celebrity/public figure did you fancy the most?: 

Sabrina Carpenter, Olivia Rodrigo, Weird Al

36. What political issue stirred you the most?: 

Uhg. Pass.

37. Who do you miss?: 

I miss Levi. I wish he was out here to be a part of my adventures.

38. Who was the best new person you met?: 

Not sure I met anyone new.

39. Who were your closest friends in 2024? 

In no particular order: Justus, Torres, Rip, Delmi, Levi, Anton, Jet Wei, Kodai.

40. What are you doing to ring in 2025? 

I’ll be home, relaxing with my wife.

41. Who do you plan on kissing to ring in 2025? 

My wife.

42. Tell us a valuable life lesson you learned in 2024: 

When in doubt, just start doing something. Static inertia is the worst.

[rhythmandstrings]

2023

1. What did you do in 2023 that you’d never done before?

Ride a camel, knit a cardigan, visit Morocco, make a board game.

2. Did you keep your New Year’s resolutions, and will you make more for next year?

Nope

3. Did anyone close to you give birth?

Someone reasonably close, yeah. A fair few accquaintances, too.

4. Did anyone close to you die?

Nobody too close.

5. What countries did you visit?

Morocco, UAE, Australia, Scotland, England, Ireland, Northern Ireland, and plenty of travel around NZ.

6. What would you like to have in 2024 that you lacked in 2023?

A job and apartmentin Dublin.

7. What dates from 2023 will remain etched upon your memory, and why?

It's been a year of great travel, three weddings, and a ton of great concerts, so pretty much all of those.

8. What was your biggest achievement of the year?

I think getting the Wellbeing Better World published. Super stoked to be involved with creating resources that support young people to have better understanding of how to care for themselves and others.

9. What was your biggest failure?

I honestly can't think of anything major. Maybe killing my rosemary?

10. Did you suffer illness or injury?

Had covid at the start of the year, and a gastro bug while I was in Edinburgh. While the wisdom teeth removal and IUD replacement were deliberate, they both also wiped me out for quite some time.

11. What was the best thing you bought?

Travel, concert tickets, and my travel bag.

12. Whose behaviour merited celebration?

Most people deserve celebration for something or other.

13. Whose behaviour made you appalled and depressed?

Many world leaders, and the people that continue to support them.

14. Where did most of your money go?

Travel, rent, the dentist.

15. What did you get really, really, really excited about?

Travel, weddings, concerts

16. What song will always remind you of 2023?

Oh boy, so many for different reasons: - Rescue - Yuna - Haul Away - Grace Petrie - Stick Season - Noah Kahan - Pretty much anything by Skerryvore, Gaz Brookfield, or Nati Dredd

17. Compared to this time last year, are you:

a) happier or sadder? Happier

b) thinner or fatter? I think about the same?

c) richer or poorer? Richer

18. What do you wish you’d done more of?

Spending time outside, organising gatherings with friends

19. What do you wish you’d done less of?

Going back to sleep after waking up

20. How did you spend Christmas?

The usual combination of family and family friends. Lunch at my aunt and uncle's place, then an assortment of people over for dinner at my parents’ place.

21. Did you fall in love in 2022?

Nah

22. How many one-night stands?

None

23. What was your favourite TV program?

Heartstopper was a significant obession.

24. Do you hate anyone now that you didn’t hate this time last year?

Nah, hate is a strong word, and I'm fortunate enough to be able to largely ignore anyone that comes close to fitting that category.

25. What was the best book you read?

Art and Gwen Are Not In Love - Lex Croucher

26. What was your greatest musical discovery?

Either Nati Dredd or Grace Petrie. It's been an excellent year for music.

27. What did you want and get?

All the travel and concerts. A few nice clothes.

28. What did you want and not get?

Laid in Ireland?

29. What was your favourite film of this year?

Nimona

30. What did you do on your birthday, and how old were you?

Turned 32. Was taken out for a whiskey distilling tour in Dublin, and had a party thrown for me that weekend.

31. What one thing would have made your year immeasurably more satisfying?

Having a tidier room, maybe?

32. How would you describe your personal fashion concept in 2022?

Same as ever. Jeans, shirt, whatever is mostly clean and has pockets.

33. What kept you sane?

Music, podcasts, friends, colleagues, monthly supervision sessions, naps, reading, taking time out.

34. Which celebrity/public figure did you fancy the most?

Nati Dredd or the very attractive man in a kilt playing bagpipes in Skerryvore

35. What political issue stirred you the most?

Way too many, sadly. Youth justice, various wars and civil rights movements, depressing election results.

36. Who did you miss?

Most people at some point or other. Caitlin is still top of the list due to most regularly being on the opposite side of the world.

37. Who was the best new person you met?

All my various travel friends. Cydney gets a special mention.

38. Tell us a valuable life lesson you learned in 2022:

Don't always trust the rain to keep your outside plants well watered.

39. Quote a song lyric that sums up your year:

"Send a postcard to my year eleven self, in her year eleven health, Saying everything's gonna be just fine, No you won't grow out of it, you will find the clothes that fit. And the images that fucked ya, were a partiarchal structure, And you never will surrender, to a narrow view of gender, And I swear there'll come a day, when it won't matter what they say, On the labels on the doors, you will figure out what's yours." - Black tie, Grace Petrie

40. How did you spend New Year’s Eve?

Up at the place we had just outside Jamboree with colleagues, a few gin and tonics, and some board games.

[dixonlvr-online]

Day 10: Confession

Day 10/29

Pairings: Daryl Dixon x Reader, Glenn Rhee x Reader (platonic)

Genre: Fluff, pining

Summary: Daryl and Reader confess their feelings on New Year’s Eve.

A/N: End of the prison era and end of their silly pining!! I literally said 'fuck yes!' when I finished writing this. Excited for the next parts.

advent calendar masterlist

Nearly a week had passed since Christmas Day, marking today’s date as January 31. New Year’s Eve. A day for celebrating the passing of another year, made much more important by the current world climate. Everyone was grateful to have made it another year when the odds now were so low.

There were other things to be grateful for as well. Newfound family, people who never would’ve met each other coming together as one. Being so ingrained in each other’s lives that it was impossible to remember a time without them. That’s how you felt about everyone in your little group, but the feeling intensified when thinking about one individual in particular. 

Not only had it been a week since Christmas, but a week since Daryl and you almost kissed. It had taken a few days for that information to settle. Almost kissed. Because that’s what it would have been, right? He wasn’t leaning in for nothing.

The garlands were starting to scrape your hands with how tight you were gripping them. You pulled your eyes away from your distraction: the alluring man who held all your attention. His hands were what drew you in the first place; strong and skilled as always, but now adorned with a new accessory: the gloves you’d gifted him. Daryl was across the room, helping you take down the remaining decorations. He’d volunteered immediately when you asked, the thrill of being alone with him again like a lit match down your spine. And then Glenn had volunteered, too.

Speak of the devil, the younger man was walking into the room after clearing the hallway of stray decor, a mischievous smile on his face. His fist was closed around something you couldn’t see.

“Hey guys, you know it’s not too late…want me to hold this over your heads?” Daryl turned just in time to see you flinch, Glenn’s palm opening to reveal his secret: mistletoe. You and the archer turned identical shades of red, both shaking your heads and averting your eyes away from each other. Glenn, on the other hand, was laughing his ass off.

“Shut up,” you muttered, shooting Daryl an apologetic look. His hands were in knots at his waist, his bottom lip between his teeth. You’d seen him nervous more times than he’d like to admit, but never this nervous.

“Oh come on! I can’t throw it away until we get some more use out of it!” Glenn chimed. Daryl regained some of his composure and glared at him.

“They’re right. Shut up.”

Glenn waved you off and left the room, taking his mistletoe and comments of “Would’ve been the perfect opportunity” and “Wait til Maggie hears” with him.

You faced Daryl again, grimacing at your mutual friend’s teasing. “I think I know what my New Year’s resolution is. Make Glenn’s life a living Hell.”

He laughed, a deep and genuine sound you’d only pulled from him a few times. Your chest warmed at the sound. Settling back into the rhythm, you both continued your work of pulling things from the walls and railings, though the tension had risen a little. Eventually, he broke the silence.

“Ya don’t believe in that stuff, do ya? Resolutions and shit?”

You furrowed your brows at him, the question confusing you. He saw your reaction and hurried to explain. “Like, if ya want to make a big life change, just do it. Don’t wait ‘til a new year starts and then forget about the goal anyway. Those things never worked for anybody I knew, sure as Hell not me.”

Suppressing a smile, you eyed the man as he spoke, his posture high and his arms waving. It was rare to hear him string so many words together, much less as passionately as he was now.

“I get that. They never really worked for me either. I guess it’s just a nice thing to do, you know? Start the new year believing you’re going to improve your life,” you replied. He nodded, your words ringing true.

“Yeah, I guess. So what’s yer actual resolution then?”

His words sent a jolt through you, your chest tightening. Looking at him now, his eyes intensely focused on you, his hair uncut and tousled just the way you loved, you knew exactly what life change you wanted to make. But you couldn’t tell him that, could you?

“I’ll get back to you on that.”

Hours later, it was nearly midnight. The prison was in full celebration mode; champagne had been scavenged and opened, glasses filled and drunk from without pause. You’d enjoyed your own serving earlier, engaging in excited conversation as long as you could stomach before finding yourself here: walking up the guard tower steps.

It wasn’t that you didn’t enjoy the company. You loved your friends and family dearly, and any amount of time with them was never enough. But, as midnight drew nearer and everyone was pairing up for that special moment, the reminder of your aloneness was too heavy. 

Darkness clouded your vision as you climbed up, looking forward to the cold quiet of the platform. Hopefully there your thoughts would be clearer, less skewed by the chatter of friends and alcohol. When you opened the door, however, a large figure caught your attention.

Of course he was here. On this night, when you wanted nothing more than to be with him, but be with him. Daryl turned when he heard you, your own surprise reflected back to you. Clearly you’d had the same idea about seeking some alone time.

Still, when he gestured to the open space next to him, you didn’t hesitate to take it. You let the quiet rest between you, the distant sound of voices and glasses clinking the only company you needed. He was warm beside you; you could feel it radiating from his body. You were reminded of this time last year, when he held you close each night to protect you from the winter chill on the road. It had been a long time since you felt him, even in such an innocent way. You yearned to reach out and touch him.

“Did ya make yer resolution?” he asked, snapping you back to the present. When you didn’t respond, unsure of what to say, he faced you. 

Suddenly it was a week ago, the last time you two sat here, looking at each other like this. The glow of a cheery day still shining across your faces, the pleasure of warm company making everything feel easy. A week ago, when he’d looked at you like that, and then right after…

“Yeah, I did,” you said, keeping your voice low and even. He leaned in, ever so slightly, but you noticed.

“Let’s hear it then.”

Clearing your throat, you matched his body language by leaning in yourself, lowering your voice to a whisper as if it was a dear secret. “I’m resolving to go after the things I want. Life’s too short, especially now. You never know when your time is up.”

He shook his head, expression serious. “Nah. Yer gonna live a long time. I’ll make sure of it,” he said, words firm. “Hell, that’s my resolution. To keep ya alive and help ya get what you want.”

As if on cue, a crowd of voices started counting down. 10…you leaned in. 9…he leaned in. 

8…“Oh yeah?” 7…his eyes fell to your lips. 6…yours fell to his.

5…”Yeah. Whatever ya want.” 4…closer. 3…closer. 2…his hand on your face. 1…

Fireworks went off, at least that’s what you assumed. It was the only explanation for the ringing in your ears, the booming in your heart. Daryl’s lips were on yours, pushing forward while his hands pulled you closer. You leaned into him, drinking him in. Touching him, feeling him, electricity coursing through your veins. 

When you opened your eyes, it was a new year. When you opened your eyes, he was right in front of you, a real person, a real moment. When you opened your eyes, you saw your future, and it was beautiful.

[lets-talk-spirituality]

Let’s Talk About: Preparing for the New Year

With December here, I’ve been feeling very contemplative about what sort of goals and intentions I have for 2023 and I thought I’d share some of the ways you can prepare.

Prepare? Why? I’m not big on resolutions.

Shifts are happening all the time but I feel there are profound shifts at the start of a new year (collective) and at your birthday (personal). The energy of being able to seize change is heightened at this time because it’s a fresh start! Plus collectively many people make changes at the New Year and so there is collective energy helping manifest change as well. That’s why it feels more meh in February when many people stop putting energy into their goals.

Fine. So how do you prepare?

First, I look back on the reflection I wrote at the start of the year and compare where I wanted/thought I’d be to where I am now. If you didn’t write anything down, try to think back to the beginning of this year and where you were mentally, physically, and spiritually. I think about why certain things didn’t happen the way I thought and evaluate if that makes me feel good or bad. At the beginning of this year I thought I would be moving closer to my family, lol. And I moved further away, but this isn’t bad for me. Just shows how much my perspective has shifted this year and I did spend more time with them this year than usual. I usually also review my reflection from my birthday.

Now what?

Once you’ve reflected about the journey you’ve made this past year, begin thinking of changes you want to make. It’s December so it’s the last month to finish up any goals you set for this year as well as a chance to start working to release anything you don’t want to bring with you in 2023. It’s the perfect time to finish your to do list and to take action on the things you’ve been putting off. Identify what is no longer serving you and how you can move on from this. Give yourself the rest of the month to think about what you really want, really examine it and put thought and energy behind this because it’s a manifestation tool and it will help guide you throughout the next year.

Okay.

On December 31, it’s time to write down your reflection. You look back at the larger themes of the past year and write down your joys and disappointments. Themes like joy, or career. What was the main thing you spent your energy on this year? What was the main lesson you learned? What are you bringing with you into the New Year? Start to envision the version of you you are trying to become and write down who that person is, what do they do (goals), what you want to accomplish to propel yourself forward. Sometimes I like to do a clearing meditation or sage my space and then go to bed.

Manifestation Ideas:

- If one of your goals is more financial security write about what the security would provide you, is it freedom? Just asking for money isn’t specific, why do you want money, how will you use it. What does life with that security look like?

- When I’ve done manifestations for things like money, joy or love, I would burn palo santo and use the charred end to draw a symbol on something and I would set the money (I used a $100 bill) on it, along with my crystals, light a candle or incense, and just honestly talk to spirit about money and my finances and what I want and why, what around money I wanted to heal. Then I would close my eyes and focus and repeat please bring me abundance, until I felt it was time to stop.

- To really bring in fresh energy consider cleaning your space deeply leading up to the new year (a few days before for example) and even opening up the window to let fresh air circulate. Clean your car or other places you inhabit, maybe your area at work.

- Be sure to take a magic bath to cleanse your energy on the 31st! By magic I mean adding salts and other things that make you feel good. For my magic baths I’d light a few candles, use epson salt bubble bath and just soak for as long as I wanted. I’d turn out all the lights and listen to Frank Sinatra or something spiritual and just allow myself to do nothing. This allows you to sit in your own energy and can really bring you back to center.

- Also if you are really stagnant and desiring change, getting rid of stuff like clothes, things you don’t need anymore, etc., can really be freeing and create space for the newness you want to bring towards you. You need to make physical, mental and spiritual space for it to come.

2022 was a year of change for many, including myself. I knew 2022 was bringing hella magic and change to my life and felt it for months leading up to the year. 2023 has kinda taken me by surprise as it’s energy isn’t as strong as 2022 was for me, 2023 feels like it will be a continuation of forward momentum. What does 2023 feel like for you?

[samuel-de-champagne-problems]

And I Will Hold Onto You

Summary: They’ve never been apart for holidays since they started dating. That was until Spencer Reid found himself behind bars for a crime he’d never think of committing. Growing and healing, Spencer realizes that it’s not the holidays that matter, it’s the person. Because with that special person, who’s laugh he can recognize anywhere, even cleaning up the empty bottle the next morning is magical.

Pairing: Spencer Reid x Female Reader

Word Count: 2.1K

Author’s Note/Warnings: Body Image Issues (Male) nothing too descriptive, prison arc is mentioned/is central issue; loosely based of New Year’s Day by Taylor Swift

Also this is technically a part 2 to Drag Me Head First but it doesn’t have to be read that way.

And I Will Hold Onto You

There’s something special in the way that the first midnight of the new year feels. All that hopefulness and excitement packed into a 10 second countdown. The energy in the room slowly bubbles up, culminating as the ball drops. It fizzles out as loved ones share chaste kisses and friends hug. But all that remains are last year’s bottles and this year’s dreams. Maybe it’s something that Spencer always took for granted.

The cold midnight air is jarring, compared to his warm and cozy house. Spencer walks quickly, taking out the trash, filled with bottles of beer and wine. The snow crunches under his shoes and Spencer can see his breath in the air as he huffs to toss the bag in the black trash bin. Spencer, despite the way the cold air nips his nose, stops in his tracks and gazes up at the stars. It’s unfortunate living where he does, you can never really see all the stars. Maybe Y/N would like to take a trip in their cabin the next time he can get off? He could show her all the stars. But Spencer doesn’t need to go to the middle of the woods to see the stars; he can simply look into Y/N’s eyes and see all the magic the universe has to offer.

Spencer lets himself back into his house, just as Garcia and Derek are putting their shoes and coats on to leave. Y/N comes out of the kitchen carrying two trays of leftover food for their friends to take home.

“Penny, please kiss those sweet babies for me,” Y/N says, handing Luke the trays of food. She leans over to kiss Penelope on her cheek.

“They can only sweet when they are sleeping,” Penelope says, rolling her eyes and putting her coat on. It’s more of a cape in a spectacular plum purple color with cream colored faux fur trim.

“Don’t act so surprised, mi amor, look who their mother is,” Luke says, cheekily. He hugs Spencer and Y/N before grabbing Garcia’s hand with his empty one.

“Happy New Year!” Garcia and Luke call as they leave, shutting the door behind them. Spencer locks the door and heads back to the kitchen to help Y/N clean up. The plates sit in the sink piled high, with tall champagne glasses resting next to them on the counter. Glitter scatters on the floor, confetti in the shapes of “1s” and “6” lay littered on the tiles, remnants of the festivities just moments before.

Y/N stands over the sink, her hand rests on the ledge. She turns on the water and starts washing the dishes. Spencer walks up quietly behind her, nuzzling his hand into the corner of her ear and shoulder. He hums, the vibrations echoing into Y/N’s neck, causing her to giggle. He joins his hands together around Y/N’s waist, holding her tight.

“Happy New Year, my love,” Spencer whispers, his voice hardly audible above the stream of water. Even though Spencer can’t see Y/N, he can feel the way her cheeks grow against the side of his head. She’s smiling.

“It is a very happy, new year,” Y/N says, her voice strong, yet Spencer can tell it’s hard for her to keep it together. It’s not their first new year, far from it, it’s their 13th. But this time, it feels different to hold her in his arms and kiss her as the clock strikes 12.

They wash the dishes in silence, a comforting silence where certain things don’t need to be said. Like a well oiled machine, Y/N washes, Spencer dries. The sudsy dish soap smells like home and Y/N’s quiet hums sound like peace. Spencer really forgot how much he could love even the most mundane of tasks when Y/N stands next to him.

“Come on, Y/N we can do this tomorrow. Let’s just go to bed,” Spencer says, tugging on Y/N’s long sleeve of her thermal shirt.

“Hmm, I can’t argue against your cuddles, sweetheart,” Y/N murmurs tiredly, easily pushing the thoughts of clean up to the next morning. Her hand joins his, like a key finding it’s matching lock. They are cold from the water, but Spencer doesn’t really mind.

A tangle of limbs and hands, they make their way up the stairs to their shared bedroom. They pass the wall filled with pictures of their smiling faces or candid countenances in mismatching frames hung against the wall. It’s just a testament to how long they’ve been together, going back to their first date right before Y/N’s college graduation and Spencer’s fifth, leading up to their most recent Halloween. Each photo stuck in time, frozen with utter happiness and unadulterated joy. But there’s a gap in the collection, a gap that Spencer rather not talk about. A gap where, for the first time since they met, Spencer and Y/N were separated. Sitting in jail, all Spencer could think of was the personal mental prison that Y/N must have confined herself too.

They don’t like talking about the gap, but he knows they have too. Spencer knows that Y/N is proud of him, she tells him that everyday. Proud of him for keeping up with therapy, proud of him for letting go of the little things that he can’t control, proud of him for trusting her with his secrets and fears. It’s the strangest thing, to have someone be proud of you for just living.

“We’re going to need a bigger wall,” Spencer says, hoping that his attempt at referencing pop culture would land. Y/N stops to turn to Spencer, who in the moonlight that drips in from the window, looks much younger than he really is.

“Did you just make a pop culture reference that’s not from, like, 300 years ago?” Y/N says, her brow upturned in a quizzical stare.

“Come on, Y/N, you love when I recite all Sir Walter Raleigh to you,” Spencer says, reaching up to tickle Y/N sides, causing her to giggle and run up the rest of the stairs.

“Spencer! You know that I’m too ticklish,” Y/N says in between short laughs and gasps for air. She plops down on the bed, dragging Spencer down with her. He lays his head down on her chest and like a Rube Goldberg machine, her fingers come up and tangle themselves in his hair.

“Maybe our New Year’s Resolution should be to get some more exercise, Spence. Your heart is beating faster than mine and that run from the steps to our room is like a good 10 feet,” Y/N jokes as she continues scratching Spencer’s scalp lulling him into a peaceful, sleepy state.

“Two things, baby, one, we don’t exercise and two, that’s not why my heart is beating so fast, I think it has something to do with the beautiful girl laying so close to me,” Spencer murmurs quietly.

“Hmm, you certainly know how to charm a girl, even like 13 years later,”

“Actually it’s, 13 years, 7 months, 17 days, 17 hours, 58 minutes and 31 seconds,” Spencer says with a quick glance at his watch.

“And I’ve loved every single minute of it,” Y/N says, reaching up to sneak a pillow under Spencer’s head. She moves to get out of bed, much to Spencer’s displeasure.

“No, no, Y/N you’re so warm and I’m freezing,” Spencer whines, shifting so he can look at his wife, who has shrugged off her thermal shirt and jeans.

“And who’s fault is that?” Y/N chides. Spencer, almost bashful at her teasing, attempts to hide his blush with the pillow that rests under his head.

“I only turn the heat all the way down at night so we’re forced to cuddle for body heat,” Spencer says, his voice muffled by the pillow.

“So you say,” Y/N tells Spencer, sitting down back on the bed. She pulls on Spencer’s legs, dragging him down the bed.

“Come on lazy boy, get your PJs on,” Y/N orders. Spencer, who under Penelope’s less than pure supervision, had enough shots to make up for all the college parties that he missed. There’s happy drunks, forgetful drunks, and then there're sleepy drunks.

Spencer stands in front of the mirror, inspecting his body. The low, yellow lamp light casts shadows on his naked torso. He’s filled out a little bit since they’ve started dating, especially within the last few months of Spencer’s healing. Y/N knew that it’s a sore spot for him, but there’s something about the way that Spencer’s dress pants sit tightly against his thighs or the way his shirt clings to his stomach that just makes him look so much older. Both of them, including their bodies, have changed so much since 13 years ago. Or 13 years, 7 months, 17 days, 18 hours, 5 minutes and 12 seconds ago. They’ve grown up together, and now Y/N can’t wait to grow old together.

But the look in his eyes is not pride over his growth or confidence over his physique. It’s confusion. Spencer stares at himself like he’s an unsolvable puzzle. Y/N knows he must hate that; Spencer hates things that he can’t find an answer to. Y/N walks up behind him, lacing her finger together so her arms clasp against his waist. For a moment, Spencer flinches. Even her gentlest touches and softest kisses can’t wash away the fear of much harsher contact. Their eyes meet in the mirror, but Y/N can feel that Spencer’s not looking at her. After all these years, she can still see the terrified young man who brazenly kissed her in her car in the middle of a rainstorm. After all these years, Spencer is still the only man she ever loved.

“Spencer,” Y/N says quietly. His name off her lips is more tender than any pet name in existence.

“I’m sorry, Y/N. I’m being immature, it’s just,” Spencer closes his eyes, trying to focus himself in the present. It’s something that his therapist suggested. In moments of distress, find your anchor. Luckily for Spencer, his anchor has been his anchor for quite awhile.

“You can tell, I’m not going to judge you,” Y/N says, her lips leaving small kisses on his exposed shoulders.

“It’s just I thought this whole nightmare of prison was behind me. Therapy has been helping, I’m better on cases and I love teaching,” Spencer says, the pain in his voice leaking out.

Y/N doesn’t say anything, instead she guides Spencer to sit on the edge of their bed. She rubs her hand down his back, tracing his spine and around the freckles that collect on his right shoulder.

“I thought that the emotional healing would be the hardest part, I mean it is, but physically, I don’t recognize myself. I can imagine you don’t either,” Spencer says, he turns to lay on the bed, bringing his feet up to his chest in a textbook self-protective position.

“Spence, your body is gonna change, baby. God, mine has changed so much since we met,” Spencer gives Y/N a confused look, like he’s not thoroughly convinced by her explanation.

“It has Spencer. We’re not 22 years old anymore, we’re going to be like 35 in a couple of months. But you know, this is something we can work on together, I’ve gone my whole life not loving the skin I’m in. But being with you makes it easier, Spence.” Y/N says, running her fingers across the bridge of Spencer’s nose and down to his lips, that always a ridiculously gorgeous shade of pink. Spencer doesn’t say much, he’s still trapped deep inside his mind.

“I don’t know how you put up with me and all my antics, Y/N”

“You do my taxes every year,” Y/N jokes, making an effort to kiss every freckle and dipple on the expanse of Spencer’s back.

Spencer turns in the bed so he’s facing Y/N, he cups her face all the way from her ear to her jaw. It’s an intimate gesture that somehow is more loving and vulnerable than saying “I love you,”

“You know you make me fearless, Y/N,” Spencer tells her, not blinking because he doesn’t want to miss out on any more time looking into her eyes.

“You say that everyday Spencer Reid,” Y/N responds, letting herself melt into the touch. She grabs onto his wrist, physically telling him to not let go.

“I have a lot of days to make up for,” Spencer says, solemnly.

“It’s not making it up if it’s the rest of our life, Spencer. Besides, there’s no one I’d rather spend New Year’s Day cleaning up all those bottles with,”

------------------------------------------------------------------------------

**Taglist** (Comment to be Added or Send in An Ask)

@calm-and-doctor @shemarmooresfedora

[hopeshoodie]

Ok so in light of the Independent article (see my tag #fusebox layoffs for more info), I’ve been trying to piece together the sequence of events that lead to FB Going to Shit™. 

All of the below is based on articles, tweets from the staff, and dates from screenshots. Especially with the Matchmaker stuff, I’m using the dates I personally accessed the stories- that might not be accurate to when they were actually released to an international audience, just when my phone updated the app. In hindsight, I’m not a great person to do this because I have a shit memory and don’t keep receipts, so if you have any corrections PLEASE lmk either in the dms or replies. 

In sum, the timeline appears to be:

1. Key players left Fusebox in early 2020. 

The one that people are probably most familiar with is David Gallopim, one of the artists who helped define the S2’s distinct style, leaving sometime before March 2020. He seemed to indicate that there was conflict over the new art style of S3, and released assets he’d designed of Harry in his own style (notably way prettier than Harry looks in-game). 

But probably more important to the direction of the company, Michael Othen, one of the co-founders and former CEO, left in July of 2020 (I had thought it was earlier in the year but according to LinkedIn it was July). It’s much more unclear why he left, but it’s notable because he was a huge force in making the game inclusive of LGBTQ characters. 

So all in all, not a great sign when employees who had a huge hand in creating the content and direction of a game that defined its success jump ship. Especially after the game was seemingly hitting its stride, with the host of Love Island (the TV show) doing a sponsored Let’s Play of S3 and projects in the works like Boat Party and CMM.

2. It seems like Fusebox‘s CEO/executives hired new management, either in 2020 or early 2021. Employees complain that the executives don’t understand what it takes to make a game and are pulling the studio in the wrong direction. It’s unclear if the newly hired execs had experience. 

Wil Stephens, the CEO/founder, has been with FB since its inception but also appears to have only founded game distribution ventures and not worked in any development or employment capacity. If that’s the case, maybe the complaints about lack of experience/knowledge about the mechanics of making games work are about him. If not, then some of the newly hired execs would likely be to blame. 

Paul Virapen, COO, was brought on in November of 2020. He’s worked with Disney’s gaming division, Big Pixel studios, Wooga. The quality of that experience is dubious since he headed up the ‘let’s make apps for Apple watches, it’ll be the next big thing’ department… Lol. Notably also, all of his roles had been in the executive/managerial realm, not the development teams, so the complains might have been about him. THIS IS SPECULATION, but I’m willing to bet that Virapen was a if not THE driving force in switching Fusebox’s focus entirely to matchmaker. All the studios he’s worked with have primarily produced and promoted Match 3 games, and he has a background working with big studios that produce games for large international audiences, not small studios making narrative games for limited audiences.

A new Manager of Finances, Ruth Erskine, was brought on in December of 2020

Rob Goddard, a new producer, was brought in January of 2021

Several key operations positions were filled by existing employees being promoted to management- 2 as far as I can tell. But as a whole it seems like December 2020 was a huge shift in leadership for the upper management while a lot of the other teams expanded but kept their old players as well.

3. At some point in late 2020- mid 2021, the executive team made the decision to switch LITG’s focus from a narrative pass-based game to a Match 3 incorporating romance narrative cut scenes. In early 2021, Fusebox teased more content to come while releasing S3 (seemingly referring to Matchmaker and not S4). In the interim between S3 endings and Boat Party’s release they put out an interview confirming the new game will be Match 3 but did seem to indicate that the plan at that time was for Matchmaker to be a side project with a different development team and not replace the main game. Notably, the LITG writers and artists were reassured that their roles will continue to exist (according to the independent article) as they’re working on S4.

3. In September of 2020, Matchmaker became briefly available in the US. That’s when I first downloaded it, at least. It would be added/removed from the google play store multiple times before having a unilateral release in July of 2021. 

Throughout 2020, Matchmaker is available to Asian audiences solely with LITG S1 getting rolled out in incremental updates. 

Eventually, Beanie Quinn is released (March 2021)

LA Noir is released (May 2021)

Seduction Games is released (late May or June 2021- I got the update and played it June 3rd, but hadn’t opened the app for a month or so. It might have come out before then, which is unfortunate for this timeline since it’s so inextricably linked to the open letter and layoff dates)

LITG S2 is released (only like 20 levels of it) the same month- June 19th for me. Notably, all of these stories are only released to an international audience, with the UK and USA still not having access to the app.

4. At the same time, Fusebox’s internal affairs are pretty quiet from 2020-2021, at least on social media. 

S3 comes out in 2020, Boat Party comes out later in the year and finishes in 2021. Post S3 in October of 2021, a survey goes out gauging player interest in new art styles and representation, which was pretty in keeping with past actions and seemed promising for S4. 

Boat Party features a promising cross promotion implementing irl brands into the game. It’s unclear if enough money was made from this on FB or the sponsor’s end to make that strategy viable, but that might’ve impacted management’s outlook for the profitability of LITG.  

Fusebox teases more content for the summer on Instagram, and then follows up and confirms it’ll be a proper season.

5. More key players leave in early 2021

Ed Sibley is still listed as Narrative Direction on LinkedIn, but he’s not credited as a writer on Season 4 (he was on 3,2,and 1) and started work with NetSpeak games in May of 2021, so we can assume he left around then or at least transitioned away from Fusebox then.

Fred Francis, another writer who had been on the team since S1, turns in his resignation ‘weeks’ before the layoffs were announced in late June. So we can assume he made his exit sometime early June or late May.

6. Prior to the release of Seduction games in May/June, staff expressed concern about the biphobia in Seduction Games. No sources have given a specific time when this took place. They were reassured that the problem would be corrected prior to release, but then the story was released as is to an international audience in June. The article released by the Independent is unclear- there might have been discussion prior to the open letter where staff expressed concerns and then were reassured before the game going live. OR the open letter might have been the first expression of concern by the staff. I tend to think the former, and the open letter was a response to Matchmaker going live with Seduction Games anyways, but I have no proof for that. On May 24th, 31 employees sent an open letter of concern regarding the problematic content in Matchmaker. This letter isn’t public, so we don’t know the scope of the employees' concerns or who the employees were.

7. To resolve the situation, a meeting between the staff and at least the COO (likely more than just him though) was held sometime after May 24th. Allegedly, Virapen was disrespectful to the employees who had questions, refused to answer, and ended the meeting early before any resolution was had by closing his laptop and leaving the room. At least 4 HR complaints were made in the wake of that meeting, we do not know the nature of those complaints. 

8. Some time mid-July (maybe July 26th? A writer tweeted about their job ending soon on that date), employees were made aware that the LITG app would move into ‘sunset mode’. It’s unclear what was communicated, but it seems as though S4 will be heavily delayed or cancelled altogether and no future seasons would be made. Writers begin to post about looking for work on Twitter

9. June 30th- The majority of Fusebox writing staff announce on twitter they’re out of work. In addition to the entire writing staff, unity engineers and producers are also let go.

10. July 5th - Fusebox executives respond to an article by MCVUK with a statement asserting they were “consulting with [their] employees on a proposed change to its business model” that would focus on producing Matchmaker content. They also expounded that the move was to secure “cash injections and and continued support from respected investors across the media and gaming industry”

11. July 6th- Fusebox announces that S4 will be delayed from the summer release date and that there is no fixed release date. 

12. August 2nd- three jobs are posted to Fusebox’s careers page on their website, one being Head of Narrative Content. In the job listing, it specifies that they’ll be maintaining existing properties as well as new ones, and that because of the co-development model (re:fusebox outsourcing Matchmaker to another studio) the new Narrative Lead must collaborate with external content creators.

Hopefully posting this timeline gives players a better understanding of how radically Fusebox has changed in the course of 2021 (and how royally they screwed over the people who made LITG what it is). Again, please let me know if you have receipts showing dates are different or things to add. 

[the-sympathetic-villain]

You Belong With Me - Chapter 31

AO3 | First | Previous | Next | Masterpost  

Description:  Much to his surprise, after being released from prison for a crime he  didn’t commit, Logan has been appointed as a the prince’s new advisor.  

Word Count: 6920

Chapter warnings: Mild Anxiety, Romantic Contact, Restraints, Mild Threats of Violence (Let me know if I need to add anything!)

-

    “It's a bad idea, L.” Virgil repeated, staring at him from the chair across the room. Rays of early morning light filtered through the curtains behind him as he watched Logan’s rigid posture across the room.

    “You’ve expressed your opinion repeatedly, Vee. I assure you that I understand the risks of what I am doing.” Logan stated plainly, turning from where he stood watching the door. He rubbed at his arms, trying to warm himself against the chill of the morning air.

    “I don’t think you do.” Virgil muttered seriously. “We kept you out of Remus' hands this time, and we only did so at the expense of you being confined here until Roman can clear your name. You do see how you visiting the fae that kidnapped him makes princey’s case look even worse, right?”

    “I do.” Logan whispered. "but I believe that it is worth the risk."

    “Logan,” Virgil sighed sympathetically and leaned up out of the chair. Cautious not to startle him, he took a step towards Logan. “This is your freedom we're talking about. What information could that snake have that is worth your life?”

    “This isn't over, Vee. Patton implied last night that they cannot hold Dee forever.” Logan crossed his arms as Virgil approached him. “Can you tell me he was wrong?”

    “I mean, no. He's not technically wrong.” Virgil sighed, stopping a few feet short of where Logan stood. “Fae are patient and intuitive. This guy will probably find a gap in Thomas' security eventually, especially with Remus in his pocket, but that doesn't mean Thomas couldn't conceivably hold him for weeks or even months without him escaping. They’re taking as much precaution as possible to hold him as long as they can.”

    “But even you believe his escape is inevitable?” Logan pressed.

    Virgil sighed again. “Yes, but Logan, that doesn’t mean we need to go looking for troub—”

    “This could be our only chance to get answers from him on our terms, Vee. He doesn't hold the power in the prisons. I—” A slight tremble crept into Logan's voice as he interrupted Virgil. “—I can't sit around waiting for the next time he tries to hurt one of you."

    “L,” Virgil paused, staring at Logan’s downcast expression. “That's not your job to worry about us all the time. Your—”

    The door handle behind Virgil jostled quietly, interrupting him mid-thought as they both turned to the door. Virgil turned to Logan, holding his fingers to his lips in a hushing gesture as he instinctively stepped between Logan and the door. He tensed, watching silently as the door slowly swung open and Roman’s head poked through the doorway.

    “Would it kill you to learn to knock, princey?” Virgil hissed, dropping his guard and rolling his eyes at the prince as he entered the room.

    Roman's gaze drifted back as the door cracked open and Patton followed him into the room. A moment seemed to pass before the meaning of Virgil's words settled into his mind and he turned to Logan. Guilt flashed in his eyes as he noticed Logan’s nervous expression. “I'm so sorry, Logan. I wasn't thinking.”

    “It's not your fault, Roman.” Logan whispered with a faint smile. "It was a long night, and given the current hour, I can assume you only slept for a few hours."

    Roman smiled, taking a cautious step towards Logan. “Still, with everything that has happened, I should have been more considerate of how you and Virgil might be feeling.”

    “I'm okay. Truly," Logan whispered, tucking his hands behind his back as he hesitated to step toward Roman. “Have you received an update on my current standing with the courts?”

    “I have.” Roman's grin widened as Logan looked up at him. “You are free to move about the castle as you please, Logan. Remus has renounced his claim.”

    Logan looked up at Roman in disbelief as the prince stepped closer, resting his hands on Logan’s waist. He looked down at the prince's hands before scanning Roman's face for answers. “Forgive me, Roman, but I'm having trouble believing that the resolution was that simple.”

    “Yeah, I can't believe that either.” Virgil interrupted from across the room. Logan tilted his head around Roman to catch sight of Virgil. Disbelief flashed in his eyes as he stared at Roman, one hand on Patton’s arm. Logan's gaze drifted from Virgil to Patton. He stared absently at the ground, looking despondent as Virgil hovered over him protectively. He turned back to Virgil as he spoke once again. “What's the catch, princey? Did Remus not show this morning?”

    “No, he showed.” Roman replied solemnly, turning back to  Logan

    “Then, what happened?” Virgil pressed as he looked to Roman and Patton for answers. A snarl appeared on his face as he grew frustrated at their continued silence. He stalked toward Roman angrily, growling as he demanded answers. “Did he make a scene or—”

    “No, Virge.” Roman muttered bitterly. Logan tensed as Roman's grip on his waist tightened. He timidly looked up at the prince, freezing at he noticed the exhaustion in his eyes. The prince seemed to notice his reaction, guilt flashing in his eyes as he released his grip on Logan, holding his hands up apologetically before dropping his gaze. “He did what he always does. Somehow, I'm the villain in the scenario he spun and my fathers believed him. He didn't even push the issue to the courts."

    Logan stared at Roman's pained expression for a moment before hesitantly moving forward. His heart jumped in his chest, suddenly nervous about being openly affectionate with the kind prince, but the melancholic look on Roman's face overrode his anxiety. He gently reached a hand to Roman’s face and smiled softly as Roman’s apparent frustration seemed to melt away at his touch. “What do you mean, Roman?”

    Roman sighed, closing his eyes as he leaned into Logan’s hand. “I’m no stranger to Remus cruelty, Logan. The fact that he may behind the attack on my life held no surprise in my mind. I used to think he cared. He was always chaotic, but it was like he changed overnight when we were young. We were inseparable at one point, but one day he changed. He seemed to enjoy the pain and I started to learn to stay away from him.”

    Logan nodded solemnly as he watched Roman struggle to contain his emotions.

    “When we were a little older, I ended up spending a lot of time in the infirmary. Remus and I would play and he would push too hard.” Roman blinked, looking down at the small reassuring smile on Logan’s face.  “I want to believe that they were accidents, even now, because I don't want to believe a kid is capable of that kind of cruelty—” Roman stopped, staring blankly at the ground. “—but there were moments where I'd be in danger and he'd smile—moments where I was vulnerable and he suddenly felt dangerous.”

    Logan watched in concern as Roman’s expression fell. Guilt and nervousness twisted in his stomach as he watched Roman. He cautiously leaned closer, supporting Roman as he prompted him to continue. “What does that have to do with what happened today?”

    “Remus always had a way of twisting the situation so I was the one to blame for my injuries,” Roman sighed. “and admittedly, I often made it easy for him to do so. I was a hot-headed and proud kid. I made it easy for him to goad me into doing whatever he wanted, and then when we inevitably got in trouble, the blame would fall on me.”

    “I can't imagine you losing your temper.” Logan whispered, watching Roman carefully.

    “Good. I'd like you to continue to see me that way, Lo.” Roman whispered with a faint smile. “Working with Virgil for as long as I have has taught me to keep my pride in check, and thankfully, that has kept me out of trouble with Remus in the last few years.”

    Logan's eyes darted to Virgil, smiling fondly at the proud look on his friend's face.

    “Today's proceedings obviously brought up a lot of old feelings. Despite my progress, it would seem that I haven’t stopped being the problem child in my parents' eyes,” Roman scoffed before glancing up at Logan. “but perhaps, the matter is null. Truly, I should just be grateful that the situation benefited you. Despite all my personal history affected my perception of events, I couldn’t have asked for a better outcome for you. For whatever reason, Remus has decided not to pursue charges against you—or Virgil for that matter—and I am glad that you don't have to endure that battle.”

    “That's too easy, princey.” Virgil muttered from behind him. “You know he's up to something.”

    “I know, Virgil. Trust me, I'm going to be watching him constantly until I figure out his true intentions.” Roman reaching a hand gently to Logan's cheek. “I only stopped by to inform you of their decision. In fact, I need to take my leave soon. The courts are meeting to discuss who bears responsibility my kidnapping and I'd rather not give Remus free rein to direct that conversation.”

    Logan nodded at him with a sad smile.

    “I know we still have a lot to talk about and we will, Lo. I promise,” Roman reassured him gently. “but I need to get this situation under control before—”

    “Roman, it's okay.” Logan whispered firmly, smiling as Roman's thumb drifted over his cheek  “Go. I'll be waiting for you whenever you return, but—"

    Roman paused, sensing Logan's sudden timidness. He looked down into Logan's eyes, scanning his in concern as Logan reluctantly held his gaze. “What is it, Lo?”

    “I want to ask your permission on a particular subject." Logan started softly. "I—"

    “L,” Virgil's exasperated voice interrupted him he came around Roman to stare at Logan. “Please, don't do this.”

    Logan gritted his teeth, looking away from Virgil. “I have to, Vee.”

    “No. You really don't.”

    Roman's eye darted between his friends in apparent confusion before settling on Logan with a curious stare. “What exactly do you want, Logan?

    Logan turned his gaze from Virgil, staring seriously at Roman. “I want your permission to speak with Dee.”

    “Who?” Roman straightened upright as he stared at Logan without blinking.

    “That is the name of the fae that kidnapped you,” Logan muttered, breathlessly keeping eye contact with Roman. “I—I want to speak to him.”

    Roman continued to stare at Logan carefully as he fidgeted in front of him. His stern gaze shifted gradually to curiosity as Logan anxiously held his ground. “Why?”

    “Roman, I am aware this request may reflect poorly on my loyalty to you, but—” Logan rushed to say before Roman interrupted him.

    “Logan, please. I trust you.” Roman held his hands up in gentle reassurance as Logan's wide eyed gaze turned up to him. “I'm not concerned with your loyalty in the slightest. I'm simply curious what you hope to gain by talking to him.”

    Logan paused, dipping his head as Roman stared at him. “I want to inquire about his motives, Roman. I think—" Logan paused, nervously considering his words "—I think this may be my only opportunity to ask him on my terms."

    Roman watched him quietly for a moment. “Is that all?”

    Having fully expected for his request to be rejected, Logan couldn't help but look up at Roman in surprise. “What?”

    “Are you seeking revenge, Logan?” Roman asked, his tone suddenly serious.

    “What—No!” Logan opened his mouth to speak further, but he quickly closed his mouth, letting his gaze drift to the ground. He seemed lost in thought for a moment before glancing over at Virgil, who seemed to be questioning his motivation as much as Roman. Uncertainly, he turned back to Roman’ serious expression. “Roman, I'm being honest when I say the thought didn’t even cross my mind.”

    Roman cautiously analyzed him for a moment before relaxing as a subtle smile curled at the corner of his lips. “Technically, you don't need my permission to enter the dungeons. You’re free to make your own judgments of whether the decision is a wise one, so seeing as I don't have a reason to talk you out of this course of action, it would seem you only need to convince Virgil to escort you.”

    “What do you mean you don’t see any reason to talk him out of this course of action, princey?” Virgil sputtered, gesturing incredulously. “This is asking for trouble.”

    Roman shrugged, glancing up at Logan. “The information that fae is withholding is undoubtedly invaluable and he hasn't saying a word since arriving in the dungeons. If Logan thinks he can free his tongue, I think it's in everyone's best interest.”

    “Don't forget that Remus could arrest him.” Virgil hissed. “He could just as easily twist the situation to make it appear that Logan’s working with this bastard.”

    “Remus will be in court all day and I won’t let him out of my sight, but even if he slips past me,” Roman turned a fond smile to Logan. “Logan’s my advisor and he's interrogating under my authority. He's not under suspicion anymore and Remus won't be able to do anything about the situation through official channels.”

    “Right.” Virgil muttered in irritation. “How about if this fae bastard makes a move to hurt him, then what? I'm not any good to Logan if the fae compels me. In fact, I could put him in danger, princey."

    “He's restrained and unable to use his abilities. You should be safe as long as you don't enter the cell.”

    “‘Should be' isn’t comforting, princey—”

    “I think it's a good idea, kiddo.”

    Virgil paused, turning towards Patton’s soft voice. He looked at him for a moment before replying softly. “Really, Pat? You think throwing Logan to the wolves is a good idea?”

    “I believe the risk is necessary.” Patton’s voice was hushed with emotion as he spoke. “What happened yesterday was scary, Virge. He almost took Logan. I don't want to be caught off guard like that again."

    “Pat, are you okay?” Virgil stepped toward him. “You’re looking a little pale.”

   “Just a bit of pain, kiddo. Nothing that a little clary sage oil won’t fix.” Patton put a hand on his abdomen as he glanced up at Virgil. “Though I would appreciate if we could stop at my place before we go over. I'd rather not wait on treatment.”

    “You’re going with us?” Virgil asked with a sigh.

    Patton blinked at him in surprise. “Would you prefer I don't, Virgil?”

    “Don't look at me like that, Pat. To be clear, I would prefer if none of us were doing this at all,” Virgil sighed, rubbing his temples. “but in all seriousness, is it really smart to have that many people in the room with that snake?”

    “He has scales, Vee, but I don't think that necessarily implies that he is reptilian in nature.” Logan thought out loud.

    “He has scales, kiddo?”

    Logan tilted his head up absently, surprised to see his friends’ blank faces staring back at him. He flushed running a hand through his hair as realization washed over him. “Um, did I neglect to mention that detail?”

    “You certainly did, L.” Virgil sighed, exasperated. “This is what I mean, princey. We don't know anything about this guy and our plan is to just walk into his cell unprepared?”

    “Virge—”

    “No, princey—” Virgil pointed at Roman. “— Don't bother. I already agreed to do this for you, but you can't make me like it.”

    “Fine.” Roman nodded. “If that's settle, I need to take my leave. Please stay safe, all of you.”

    “We will, princey.” Virgil muttered, leaning against the sofa. “Go keep Remus at bay.”

    “Bye, Ro.” Patton whispered.

    “I'll find you guys when all's said and done today, but I want you to send a courier immediately if something goes wrong. I give you permission to insist that they interrupt court proceedings if you deem it necessary.” Roman stated firmly before turning on his heel. “And Logan?”

    Logan watched as the prince's expectant gaze turned to him. “Yes, Roman?”

    “Please, mind yourself.” Tenderness glimmered in his eyes as Roman stepped toward him with shyness in his step. “I know my words in the library were an oversimplification of the fair folk, and that it was not a fair representation of them as a whole, but that doesn’t mean there isn’t a grain of truth to what I said before.”

   “I know he's dangerous, Roman.” Logan whispered, crossing his arms.

  “He's powerful and has shown himself to have no regard for your safety. ” Roman raised a hand on Logan’s cheek with an encouraging smile. “I know you’re stronger, Lo, but I still want you to be careful. I don't want anything to happen to you.”

    “I will, Roman.” Logan felt Roman’s hand gently brush his neck as his fingertips curled around the back of his neck. His skin warmed at Roman’s touch and he closed his eyes, letting the warmth of the prince's hand spread across his neck. Cautiously, he raised his hands to Roman’s waist, leaning gently into Roman's shoulder.

    “Good,” Roman’s grin spread wide across his face as he stared adoringly down at the blush on Logan’s face as he timidly returned Roman’s contact. “Stay safe and good luck, Logan.”

    “I hope that you remain safe as well, Roman.” Logan’s face was warm as he stepped back from Roman, casting one last look at Roman’s adoring smile before turning to follow Virgil out of the room.

-

    “I want to set some ground rules before we go in to see this guy.” Virgil stopped in the center of the entrance to the long corridor of cells and blocking Patton and Logan from continuing deeper into the dungeons.

    Logan tipped his head around Virgil to take in the unsettling, dark hallway behind him as he slowed to a halt. A chilled breeze swept past them as they stood in the entrance to the final corridor of the dungeons. Having never had a reason to venture this deep into the dungeons, he found himself shaking with hyperawareness at the prospect of going so far into the decrepit pit of cells. His own cell had been bad enough when he'd been confined her, but only now had he realized that they must have determined him to be a relatively low threat. His cell was one of the first among the long line of cells and the quality and relative amenities in each cell seemed to be quickly diminishing the longer they'd walked through the narrow corridors of the dungeon. Less natural light filtered through the narrow slits that passed for windows in this part of the prison and he could barely stop himself from shivering at the cold air passing by them, and at this point, he had to admit, he was suddenly grateful for his unintimidating demeanor and relative lack of physical strength. He was nearly certain his appearance was the singular reason he hadn't been placed deeper inside the prison, given the crimes of which he had been accused.

    “First off, neither of you goes near the bars. The cells and shackles in this part of the dungeons are nearly pure iron, unlike the other cells. The metal keeps him weak and blocks him from using his abilities,” Virgil’s gaze turned to Logan sternly. “but all the same, I’d rather not tempt fate.”

    “My encounters with him were not pleasant, Virgil.” Logan muttered, gently running his hand the fresh bandages Patton had placed on his face only this morning. “I have not forgotten what he’s like.”

    “I know, L.” Virgil paused, glancing up at him sympathetically. “I'm not trying to terrorize you, but I don't like what we’re doing. His endgame revolves around you and I don’t want to let you to play into his hands.”

    Logan stared at him for a moment before settling back in discontent. “Fine. I'll do what you ask.”

    “Good.” Virgil softened his expression. “Then, I've got one more rule for you, L.”

    Logan shrugged, withdrawing into himself as he dropped his gaze. “I've already agreed to do whatever will convince you I can be trusted to handle this task, Virgil.”

   “It's not a matter of trust, L. I want to make sure you're safe, because this guy wants to hurt you, so with that in mind, I want you to make a promise to me.” Virgil paused as Logan peeked up at him. “If this guy upsets you, I want you to leave. Okay?”

   Logan's bruised ego deflated as he stared at Virgil. A subtle appreciative smile curled on his lips as he nodded his affirmation to Virgil.

   "I know I'm being overprotective and probably overreacting," Virgil curled his shoulders self-consciously. “but whatever information he has isn’t worth letting him hurt you. Okay, L?”

   “Of course, Virgil.” Logan nodded, letting his arms drop to his side. "I appreciate your concern."

   “Alright,” Virgil shifted aside with an anxious sigh. “Well then, lead the way. He's in the last cell on the right.”

  Logan nodded, ducking past Virgil into the dark corridor. He tried to ignore the dusty corners of the decrepit cells and the way the shadows clung to the walls,  but the mere appearance of the cells seemed to be sucking any inclination of hope or light out of the walls of the sordid establishment. He passed by the empty cell after empty cell, and as he approached the final cell, his hands trembled with anticipation as he turned to face Dee.

   The sight that met him stopped him dead in his tracks as an unexpected wave of empathy ached in his chest. Dee kneeled on the ground in the middle of his cell. His eyes were closed and the scales on his face glimmered even in the dim light around them. He head hanging down to his chest limply, tipped toward his hands resting in his lap. Heavy looking cuffs hung from his wrists binding each hand to the opposing walls with only enough length that Logan would guess he could barely pull his arms together. A heavy metal collar hung from his neck, connected to a bulky chain bolted to the ground in front of him. Logan leaned to the side, catching sight of more chains behind Dee, which using his judgment of the fae's posture, could only mean that his legs were restricted by thick chains as well. Even in the dark, Logan could make out dark mark around his wrists and neck, indicating a similar reaction to the metal as Logan had incurred during his imprisonment.

    Caught up in taking in Dee’s appearance, he missed the fact that fae had slowly opened his eyes and was staring at him from where he kneeled on the ground. He jumped as Dee's smooth laugh suddenly resonated against the stone walls around them.

    “Suddenly glad you weren’t treated as one of the fair folk during your false imprisonment, aren’t you, Logan?”

    Hearing his name fall from Dee’s lips sent chills down his spine. He glared down at the fae as his unsettling grin turned up to him.

   “No one’s buying your victim act.” Virgil leaned against the wall behind Logan, muttering bitterly. Logan watched as Virgil's eye's flicked over Dee's true appearance with a scowl, lingering on the glimmering scales on the fae's face.

    “You're so right.” Dee's piercing amber eyes locked onto Logan as his lips curled into a devilish smile. “No one has ever been falsely imprisoned here before.”

    “You impersonated royalty in order to kidnap the heir apparently to the throne.” Virgil growled, staring at the ground. “Don't act surprised that you got what was coming to you.”

    “So glad emotions aren't playing a part in my imprisonment. Seems entirely fair.” Dee sneered and smirked at Virgil's scowl. His gaze lingered on Virgil for a moment before he flicked his tongue, subtly tilting his head towards Patton. “What about you?”

    “W-what?”

    Logan turned to Patton as his voice trembled. He stared at Patton’s face as he sat paralyzed, barely able to blink as Dee stared at him.

    “You seem like the type to enjoy partaking in moral philosophy, so what do you think?” Dee sneered over Patton’s shoulder at Virgil as he spoke softly to Patton. “Is it ethical to punish a person for breaking a law which is unjust in the first place?”

    “You hurt Roman.” Virgil hissed, stepping forward. “He did nothing to you to deserve that pain.”

    Logan shuddered Dee’s nonchalant grin turned to an unearthly scowl. “Oh, right. Your dear prince and his lovely family have never done damage to the people they’ve sworn to serve. Not to mention damage those they don’t even deign to grant personhood under their tyranny.”

    “That’s rich, considering your treatment—” Virgil stepped forward threateningly, trying to loom over the fae.

    “Enough.” Unintimidated, Dee cut off his tirade with a heated glare. Logan barely managed to keep his face straight as the man’s cutting gaze turned to him. “If you want to talk to me, the human leaves. Otherwise, I think we’re finished here.”

    “Not happening.” Virgil stepped in front of Logan and Patton. “You don’t get to make demands—"

    “Virgil, please.” Logan pleaded as Dee flinched away from the bars.

    A long silence hung in the air before Virgil growled back at Logan. Logan grimaced as Dee's look of fear turned to amusement as he looked up at Virgil in defiance.

    “Logan, don’t entertain this fiends’ lies.”

    “I came here to hear what he has to say and I intend to do so, Virgil.” Logan insisted sternly, his lips curling in disgust as Dee grinned up at him with a smug satisfaction. "I promise I can handle him on my own."

    “You can’t trust anything he says, L.” Virgil gestured to Dee as the fae watched their interaction with a sudden interest. “He hurt you and he hurt Roman—" Virgil paused, biting his lip. " and he took Patton from us, L.”

    “I also poisoned you.” Dee chimed in, cheerily mocking an increasingly frustrated Virgil.

    “If you know what's good for you, you will shut your mouth before you I shut it for you—”

    “Oh, good. Threatening violence against your captive audience definitely helps prove you’re not a merely a brute, ensnared in the prince’s lies—”

    “I said to keep your mouth shut." Virgil spun around and Logan could see Dee try to mask the slight flinch in his feature’s as Virgil stalked towards him with fury in his eyes.

    “Vee, please.” Logan held a hand out toward him as he paused. He waited, hands trembling as he waited for Virgil to turn to face him. “Please, trust me to sort fact from fiction. I need you to wait outside so I can finish this.”

    Virgil stared at him for a moment, considering Logan’s words.

    “He can't trust you enough leave you alone with another fae.” Dee chuckled bitterly. “What if you betray his dear prince?”

    “It’s not a matter of trust. Now, shut up.” Virgil hissed over his shoulder at Dee. He turned forward, his eyes flicked up a down Logan for a minute before his face softened. Guilt flashed across his face as he took in Logan’s timid expression. “I want you promise to honor the terms I set for you to coming in here, L. If you can do that, I'll go.”

    Logan paused looking at him for a moment before smiling. Out of the corner of his eye, he caught an unnaturally calm look in Dee’s eyes as he stared up at Virgil, and Logan smirked, enjoying the moment of the fae’s confusion. “Of course, Vee.”

    “Alright, L.” Virgil watched him carefully before nodding. “I’m going. Call out if you need me, okay?”

    “If you’re listening, I’ll know.” Chains rattled as Dee called after him as he shifted back onto his ankles with a satisfied grin. He maintained his gaze on Logan as he glared at the bound fae, until Patton turned to follow Virgil.  Logan watched as Dee stiffened and his eyes flicked to Patton. “And where do you think you’re going?”

    Virgil froze in the doorway. He turned see Patton paused mid-step following him, paralyzed under Dee’s gaze. Patton hesitated, unable to stutter his way through his nerves until Virgil stepped in to intervene. “Hey L, do you need Patton?”

    Logan watched curiously as Dee’s eyes followed Patton desperately. “No. Patton, if you would prefer to join Virgil, I encourage you to do so.”

    “He stays.” Dee rose to his feet. He winced as the collar around his neck jarred forward, too short for him to stand properly.

    “I told you.” Virgil muttered indifferently, as he extended a hand out to Patton. “You don’t get to make demands.”

    Patton looked hesitantly at Virgil’s hand before sighing. “I’m sorry, kiddo. I do have to stay.”

    Virgil glared as Dee’s lips curled into a smug smile. “You don’t have to do anything he says, Pat.”

    “I want to stay.” Patton avoided Virgil’s gaze, casting a side-eyed glance at Dee before stepping back to stand next to Logan. “It’s okay, Virgil. You can go without me.”

    Virgil stared at him blankly for a moment, before walk out of the room in a huff, ignoring Dee’s subtle chuckling as he walked through the door. “Whatever. I was just offering to help.”

    Logan looked to Patton in surprise, seeing the dismayed look in his eyes as he watched Virgil go. “What was that about, Pat?”

    Patton dropped his gaze, fidgeting with his hands as he looked anxiously after Virgil.

    “Do you want to tell him or should I, Patton?”

    Logan’s gaze shot back to Dee as he hummed in satisfaction. His smiled dripped with smugness as he pulled against his chains leaning towards them. Patton drifted toward the door aimlessly, taking a few steps as he stared hopelessly after Virgil.

    “Patton?” Logan whispered, reaching out to him.

    “I know him, kiddo.” Patton shrank back from Logan’s touch, biting his lip as he looked back toward the fae leering at him from behind the bars.

    “What—” Logan leaned closer. “Pat, what'd he do to you?”

    “When I told Remus to bring me our dear prince's contact in the greenhouse, I never imagined that he would bring me you.” Dee grinned mischievously lurching forward against his chains. “I would have never have realized it was Roman who was keeping you.”

    “Patton—” Logan shivered at the implication of Dee’s words. He turned to see Patton staring down at the ground with a blank expression.

    “You really grew into yourself, kid.” Dee purred as Patton anxiously tipped his head up again. “Patton. That's a nice name. I told you—"

    “You will be silent.” Logan’s eyes glowed a bright blue as Dee’s words ceased abruptly. The fae put his hand to his throat as he tried to force the words past his lips. Logan could feel a small moment of fear from fae before realization of what Logan had done settled in and Dee smiled smugly. The smugness sent a wave of rage through Logan’s body. The air crackled around him as sparks arced up his arms as he stepped up to the bars. “If I find out you intended to hurt him, I'll—”

    “Wait, Lo—You can't hurt him.”

    Patton’s quivering voice broke the tense silence as Logan stopped short of the bars. Blue light flooded the room as Dee stumbled and tripped on his chains to avoid the sparks jumping off Logan’s arms. The fae landed on the ground with a soundless grunt.

    “Please, Lo!” Logan turned his head as Patton pleaded. His power flickered and disappeared Patton’s arms wrapped around his waist with a quiet sob. “You can't—He saved me—”

    Logan blinked in surprise, staring at the pained expression on Dee's face as he bared his teeth at Logan defensively and heaved silent, heavy breaths. He turned away from Dee, looking down at Patton. “What do you mean, Patton?”

    “I know him from before, Lo. When I first came here, I ran away—from Emi's house.” Patton cried as Logan wrapped his arms around him. “I was hurting—and feeling guilty for making Virgil and Emi take care of me. I ran into the woods and just kept running as far as I could—”

    Logan squeezed him tighter. “Patton take a breath. There’s no rush—”

    “You can't hurt him, Lo.”

    “I am withholding my judgment for the time being, Patton. I promise,” Logan leered over at Dee skeptically. “but if you make one move towards Patton, I will not shy away from using the full force of my power to whatever extent I deem necessary. Do you understand?”

    Dee glared back at him with ice in his eyes, but nodded. He settled onto the ground in silent discontent, continuing to bare his teeth at Logan.

    Logan tipped his head down to Patton as he withdrew from Logan, crossing his arms. “I was difficult for Virgil to deal with at first, Lo. I know now that he was just trying to be gentle with me, but I wasn’t used to having options or having people care about what I wanted. I was scared and mad and—” Patton took a long breath, looking up at Dee. “—and I hated my body, Lo. I wanted someone to take it away.”

    Dee withered under Logan’s glare as his eyes flashed a bright blue once more. “What did he do?”

    “He sent me home, Lo.” Patton whispered, shying away from Logan’s gaze as his glowing eyes flickered and dissipated. “I ran until I could barely feel my feet and I looked up and saw a little hill. I was so small and the hill was really steep, but I climbed up one side and tumbled down on the other. The hill wrapped a circle around an old oak tree—” Patton paused, lost in his memories. “—I’d heard of fairy circles before and I went in willingly, hoping they’d take me so I couldn’t be a burden to Virgil anymore.”

    Logan turned his gaze down to the scorch marks on the ground before looking up at Dee. The fae's head hung to his chest, barely glancing up as they talked. A solemnness radiated off of him until Logan finally gave in and whispered. “You may speak.”

    Dee tilted his head up to him for a brief moment before letting his gaze drop to the ground.

    “Suddenly, he has nothing to say.” Logan muttered bitterly.

    “Lo,” Patton whispered. “I offered him my true name to him. He could have taken my freedom, but he didn’t.”

    “Not being willing to enslave a child is not an impressive standard for being a good person, Pat.” Logan sighed, watching Dee closely as he kneeled motionless on the ground.

    “That wasn’t all, Lo.” Patton flushed as he looked away. “We talked, mostly about magic, but also about my life. He brought me home and he—he convinced me not to give up my freedom and and to give Virgil and Emi a chance. He convinced me to create a new identity rather than give mine away. I—I might not be here, Lo. If I’d run into anything else but him that night, I don't think I would have been able to come back."

    “What about your identity?” Logan whispered into  Patton’s ear nearly silently.

    “If he knows that, he—”

    “I know who are, child.” Logan shuddered as Dee spoke, turning to the fae with hostility in his eyes. Dee returned his stare defiantly. “but that is a secret that will follow me to the grave. You need not fear repercussions from me, Patton.”

     “Empty promises.” Logan growled, stepping towards Patton, who was staring blankly down at Dee in apparent shock. “You've shown us nothing, but contempt—”

    “I've shown nothing but contempt for you and your prince.You are a scourge on the fair folk enough to have united the Seelie and Unseelie courts to a single purpose and you deserve what's coming to you.” Dee snapped at him. “Your life has been indebted to them since the day you were born, especially seeing as you seem to have fallen into willing servitude of that insufferable prince.”

    “Roman is twice the man you are,” Logan bristled as the air around him crackled. “and you are nothing but a hypocrite serving Remus—”

     “Don’t be a fool. Remus serves me, not the other way around. Not to mention, there's no lost love between Remus and I. He's merely a tool with a purpose.” Dee hissed, flicked his tongue in irritation. His ice cold gaze softened as he turned to Patton. “Patton is ainnocent, unlike the rest of you, and I intend to honor his fae ancestry by keeping his secret—”

    “Wait, what?” Logan stared at him blankly before turning to Patton. “What’s he talking about,  Pat?”

    Patton stared at the ground for a long moment before he muttered sullenly at Logan. “I’m still mostly human, kiddo, but magic is inherited. The very fact that I have it means someone in my recent bloodline was fae.”

    “Why didn’t you tell me?”

    “Honestly, kiddo.” Patton looked up at him. “It’s not something I usually claim.”

    “Why not?” Logan whispered, taking in Patton’s downcast expression.

    “Because it's dangerous to be fae in this country.” Dee stated bitterly. “All thanks to your precious Roman and his fam—”

    “Roman accepted me without a second thought.” Logan snapped bitterly. "You have to right to talk about what you don't know."

     “You saved his sanity and he immediately had you imprisoned.” Dee’s lips curled into scathing smile. “I’m sure that was a very impressive display of his affection.”

     “Remus was the one who wanted me sent to the prisons, not—”

    “What’s really the difference between your chambers and a prison cell, if you’re not allowed to leave?” Dee cooed, standing to his feet and approaching the bars as Logan reddened with anger. “Based on nothing but conjecture that you may be fae. Imagine what he would do if it was a known fact if you were fae.”

    “He knows what I am,” Logan muttered angrily. “and he’s accepted me.”

    “Your acceptance is conditional,” Dee spat venomously with a smirk as Logan hesitated. “No doubt he's already asked you to hide your true self. Hasn’t he?”

    Logan blinked in surprise. “That’s none of your—”

    “Thought so.” Dee’s voice cut through his words. “The royal family views the fair folk as tools and nothing more. We tended this land long before humans settled here, and since their arrival, we've been hunted and treated like objects under their rule—”

     “I don't—"

    “Our numbers are dwindling, Logan. More and more fae are snatched from their homes with each rotation of the moon with no word of protest from your precious prince.” Dee hissed, pulling at his restraints as he leaned towards the bars. “You've chosen to stand on the wrong side of history and for that, you don't deserve my sympathy. The Seelie and Unseelie courts are out for royal blood. This kingdom will fall and you will be the catalyst for its destruction.”

     “I'll die before I let you hurt them, you piece of—" Logan’s words cut off abruptly as Patton stepped in front of him.

    “Lo, stop. Remember your promise to Virgil.” Patton's soft hand curled in his and he dragged him urgently towards the door.  “Let's go. This is enough for one day.”

    Logan’s eyes locked onto Dee’s as he relented to Patton’s wishes and muttered under his breath. “We're done here anyway. I've heard enough not to come back.”

    “Oh, you'll be back sooner than you think.” Dee huffed with a flick of his tongue. A ray of light from the narrow slit of a window caught his face, and his scales glimmered ominously as Patton pulled Logan to the door.

    “I don’t think so.” Logan turned to the door with on last furious glance over his shoulder at Dee.“

    “Save your breath.” Logan hissed back. “I've no more interest in talking to you, Dee.”

    “You will,” Dee called after him with a smirk.  “if you want to know what happened to your mother.”

    Logan froze before tearing he hand out of Patton's grip to stalk back to the bars. He lunged for the bars and reached through  toward the fae, narrowly missing Dee’s shirt as the fae dexterously side-stepped his hand. Growling, he clung to the bars, staring Dee down. “Tell me what you know, you bastard.”

    “Nothing worth knowing comes free.” Dee stated plainly, returning his glare.

    Logan huffed in disbelief. “A deal?”

    “Go confirm what I've said is true with your dear prince, Roman.” Dee hissed in disgust, whispering only loud enough for only Logan to hear. “Return in three days time and come alone, only then will I tell you the story of your mother.”

    “You’re lying.” Logan huffed and turned on his heel and swept past Patton out of the room, leaving his friend suddenly scrambling to catch him. Patton cast one last worried glance at Dee before running after Logan, leaving Dee to drop to his knees, sitting in silence once more.

-

General Taglist:

@somehow-i-got-an-account​ @justanotherhumanstuff​ @im-an-anxious-wreck​

You Belong With Me Taglist:

@cas-is-a-hunter @insert-cool-blogname @ironwoman359 @i-know-im-smart @imbadatnames8d @croftersphoenix @optimistic-violinist @chronicallynervouschild @croftersjam15 @actitus-hypoleucos @unbefuckinglieveable @justthatamount @eeveeeclair246 @taxicabinmemphis @theoddkidnextdoor @bluerosesbleedred @bowties--cool @lookingforaplacetosleep @xxpanic-at-the-everywherexx @007ardra @im-actually-ok @grayson-22 @dwbh888

[fictropes]

oh boy i sure did write many words in 2020

Hi! I am copying people due to i want to.  This is a lil (well... 63) round up of all the fics I wrote this year! Cos i’m very evil @ myself and writing fic and think i’m either not doing enough, or not doing it good enough, so i wanna full list of what I actually did so I can see my own accomplishments and can maybe... clap 4 myself for once. And honestly writing has helped MASSIVELY with my depression so.. that’s a bonus. 

ALSO. this is a big huge thankyou to everyone! I only joined here + started writing in august and you’ve all been so so nice and welcoming and supportive  <333 ;_; and I know they say write for yourself... but honestly peoples comments and excitement about my stuff has just been really, really lovely and I would never have written this much without all of you cheering me on<3. 

so here is a list of everything i’ve written, organised by length and everything, so if you find yourself bored over the holidays... have a lil browse. (Sorry if u are on mobile and this doesn’t show as a read more) 

Chaptered:

Can we try again? series (M) Complete - 35k  - “Yeah, Phil. I’ll see you tomorrow.” Dan answers, softer than he’d wanted because he already knows what he’s about to do next.(or Dan doesn't turn up in 2009 and bumps into Phil 11 years later at a youtube convention 2. I like cupcakes, especially the gay variety (M) Complete - 30k - Firstly, Dan was 29. How was that a mature student?Secondly, his actual book was on the university fucking syllabus.(or the one in which Dan tries university again in a desperate attempt to prolong his procrastination, and his lecturer Phil is apparently something of a fan) 3. 7 Letters series (M) Complete - 9k - Your penpal can be the person you live with, actually. 4. There's Beans in Here (T) Complete - 2k - Phil has his wisdom teeth removed; Phil says many questionable things. 5. Roadtrip (E) Complete - 8k - “Exactly. I am right, as always.”“As always.” Dan agrees.Series 6. night shift, please (E) Wip - 27k I PROMISE THIS WILL COME BACK IN 2021 - Ten years and he’ll never get over how early he has to get up sometimes. In all honesty he prefers the night shift. 7. Still Not Calling it Fate (M) Wip - 14k - It’s become a bit of a thing, a bit of a thing that everyone he crosses paths with takes the piss out of him for 8. when i met you, a blue rush began (M) Complete - 5k - They end up in a small restaurant overlooking the sea, everything here is so blue. The sky, the sea, Phil’s eyes, the shirt he’s wearing buttoned up all the way to the top. 9. Luggage Tags (E) Complete - 2.5k - Just because it looks like your suitcase, it doesn't necessarily mean that it is. 10. Demon in the sack (E) Complete - 2.5k - Dan’s leg jiggles beneath his desk, knee hitting the table as he tries to force himself to hang up and ring the number he was supposed to ring— he doesn’t, he can’t. Long ( for me) oneshots (3k+) 11. Electronics and the Phil's who break them (M) Complete - 9k - The first time’s an accident, a proper accident— a Phil forgot how to hold his cup and now he’s watching his coffee seep into his keyboard type accident. 12. A Letter of Specifics (T) Complete - 4k - You'll know it's your soulmate because no one else on earth could be doing what they're doing. 13. The Benefits of A Weak Floor (M) Complete - 4k - He quite literally falls through Dan’s ceiling. 14. 10:35 on a Thursday (E) Complete -  3.7k - He’s tapping his pen against the paper, acting as though he isn’t asking Phil to take a sex quiz at 10:35am on a Thursday morning. 15. 2009, catboys (T) Complete - 3.2k - “You have your own ears, can’t have four.”“Why?” 16. Wrong Room (T) Complete - 3k - “Congratulations!’’ And he was expecting to hear a cry, or at least his mother telling him to be quiet because a certain baby was sleeping. Instead he heard the deep clear of a throat, a rustling of sheets. 2k-3k oneshots 17. Dinner with a stranger (T) Complete - 2.5k - @amazingphl hi! second year of doing this, sooo if anyone has nowhere to go for Christmas dinner I am once again offering..my flat (and by extension me) ;oSeries 18. Easy Lover (M) Complete - 2.4k - ''Yeah. We're always fine.'' It was always fine. It was always easy, despite always behind hard. 19. Cold Season (M) Complete - 2k - Dan is ill, insatiable and another word beginning with I. 1k-2k oneshots 20. Morose men on rooftops (T) Complete - 1.9k - “Dunno, maybe chatting up morose men on roofs is my thing.” He laughs, and it’s a nice noise. 21. Love with tongues of fire (T) Complete - 1.7k - So when Dan waltzed into the room, declaring his hunger Phil thought nothing of it. Just another night for another takeaway. 22. Your Rocks are my Rocks (T) Complete - 1.7k - Phil wants a new rock for Norman, Dan wants a peaceful life. 23. Joint Content (M) Complete - 1.6k - It started of a as a joke— a Joint Content joke. 24. 24/7 Fantasies (M) Complete - 1.5k - He thinks about Dan 24/7, constantly in two separate fantasies 25. A Conversation in Multiple Hallways (T) Complete - 1.5k - You're still here then? 26. Sharing Space (T) Complete - 1.5k - It's 2010 and dan has had a day. 27. The Obvious (T) Complete - 1.5k - "Can I use that?” He doesn’t wait for an answer, already scrawling it beneath the only three words he currently has— I love you. 28. I'm Thinking of Ending Things (T) Complete - 1.5k - Dan hears half a conversation, jumps to one whole conclusion. 29. Love Language of the Tactile (T) Complete - 1.4k - “I’m just— that’s a hypothetical.” Dan leans in this time, takes the touches that Phil always so freely gives away. “Can’t kiss in secret rooms if I leave.” 30. Don't Let the Self-Doubt Ruin You (T) Complete - 1.3k - “I’m here.” “Yeah, you’re here.” 31. Conflict Resolution (T) Complete - 1.3k - Following recent events we’ve decided it best we take a combative approach to your current workplace issues, we have booked you into a conflict resolution class this Thursday afternoon - we will not be paying you to attend. 32. when it comes to love (i want a slow hand) (E) Complete - 1.2k - And there it is, the refusal of anything in return. This is just for Dan and it always will be. 33. You're Still The one (T) Complete - 1.1k - “What’re you thinking about?” “You.” 34. Teach Me, Dad. (T) Complete - 1k - "Do you think I could be the next Mozart?” 35. The Logistics of a Clone (M) Complete - 1k - “I don’t think that’s a clone, though, like maybe more of a Doppelgänger.” Dan doesn’t know why they’re delving so deep into this, why he’s so damn bothered about being right. “It’s just literally you.” 36. All's fair in Love and Monopoly (T) Complete - 1k - Phil does not play by the rules, Dan lets him win anyway. Under 1k oneshots 37. Hide out in your heart (E)  Complete - 0.9k - The second time Dan comes to visit it’s different. 38. Oh, there you are. (G) Complete - 0.9k - So after all this, after everything, he doesn’t think anything of it when someone else slips into his dms. 39. The Boy has Attitude (T) Complete - 0.9k - “You didn’t tell me you looked like this.”“Like what?”“This!” Phil’s waving a physical copy of the magazine in his face— so that’s where he’d been. 40. Hairties (and how not to use them) (M) Complete - 0.8k - “Why would you do that? Let us settle in, nice and slow and— gently does it.” 41. The Second Apartment. (T) Complete - 0.8k - It’s a stop-gap apartment, a we’re going to get our forever home after this. 42. Japan, 2019. (G) Complete - 0.8k - NO summary, just an obviously I was going to write this after phil's post 43. Doting Man (T) Complete - 0.7k - They’re both drunk, Phil more so— definitely more so.Series 44.  Imposter (T) Complete - 0.7k - Among us is.. a bastard. 45. Ratemyprofessors.com (M) Complete - 0.7k - ‘Maybe if that Phil bloke from the English dep he’s always staring at fucked him he’d stop being so uptight’ 46. Failed Attempts (T) Complete - 0.7k - Dan enlists the help of Phil for his latest Instagram. 47. Bonus Prize (M) Complete - 0.7k - Phil Trash Number One 48. Feels like home (G) Complete - 0.7k - Home is where the Phil is. 49. We can make Forever work (T) Complete - 0.7k - It’s a moment of realising forever may sound too much to people, but we’ll get through everything together— we don’t have any other choice. 50. Scene in the Kitchen (T) Complete - 0.7k - New place 51. 4'11 (T) Complete - 0.6k - Dan is baby 52. Pillow Imprints (T) Complete - 0.6k - Dan is a menace, and Phil loves him anyway. 53. Parachute Jacket (T) Complete - 0.5k - Dan thinks Phil is obsessed with them Those few times I thougt I was goddamn Ri**ard S*ken 54. Home (G) Complete - 0.7k - It’s their forever home, because their actual forever lives inside of it. 55. secrets spoken in empty rooms (T) Complete - 1k - So he wants to be the same, but he wants Dan more. 56. Separately Together  (T) Complete - 0.9k - Phil’s soft hands and even softer words. It gets harder to leave. Gets to the point where Dan turns off an alarm just so he misses the train. 57. It's not hard to fall (T) Complete - 0.7k - Still a little bit of your words I long to hear Some more Epistolary (apart from 7 letters)  58. A Play in One Act (T) Complete - 1.1k - [Manchester Piccadilly train-station, midday, October 19th, 2009.] 59. R/AITA (T) Complete - 0.8k - AM I THE ASSHOLE FOR MAKING MY BOYFRIEND BE A WORM?Series 60. Lonely Hearts (T) Complete - 1.8k - I will not say you were crying on the tube (out of politeness) 61. Conversations of the Lazy Kind (T) Complete - 1k - eggs? wot? Smells like eggs

[perryvonvicious]

Annual End-of-Year Survey (2023!)

1. How did you ring in the new year for 2023? 

I was probably asleep. Otherwise, I likely wished my wife a Happy New Year, as we would have been just sitting in the living room, doing nothing.

2. Who did you kiss at midnight/your first kiss in 2023? 

My wife.

3. What did you do in 2023 that you'd never done before?: 

Wrestled in Japan.

4. Did you keep your new year's resolutions, and will you make more for next year? 

I don't make new year's resolutions.

5. Did anyone close to you give birth?: 

No.

6. Did anyone close to you die?: 

Tommy Smothers.

7. What places did you visit?: 

Disneyland, and Japan, 

8. What would you like to have in 2024 that you lacked in 2023?: 

A tan.

9. What dates from 2023 will remain etched upon your memory, and why?: 

Not a specific date, as I’m not good at remembering those, but Fall of 2023: My first time traveling to, and wrestling in, Japan!

10. What was your biggest achievement of the year?: 

I went on a 3-month tour, wrestling in Japan.

11. What was your biggest failure?:

I didn’t make it to Tokyo Disneyland.

12. Did you suffer illness or injury?: 

Many little injuries while training in Japan.

13. What was the best thing you bought?: 

A second resin printer. I can’t recall many other purchases.

14. Whose events required celebration?: 

I don’t know.

15. Whose behavior made you appalled and depressed?: 

A few of my former coworkers.

16. Where did most of your money go?: 

House projects.

17. What did you get really, really, really excited about?: 

Wrestling in Japan.

18. What song will always remind you of 2023?: 

Jushin Liger’s entrance theme.

Compared to this time last year, are you: 

a) Happier or sadder?: Happier.

b) Thinner or fatter?: Thinner.

c) Richer or poorer?: Same-ish?

19. What do you wish you'd done more of?: 

I don’t know. I felt like I did pretty good this year.

20. What do you wish you'd done less of?: 

Stressing.

21. Did you fall in love in 2023?: 

I fell in love in 2007.

22. How many one-night stands?: 

Zero.

23. How many people did you kiss? 

My wife.

24. What was your favorite TV program?: 

YouTube.

25. Do you hate anyone now that you didn't hate this time last year?: 

I don't think so.

26. What was the best book you read?: 

An Absolutely Remarkable Thing (and its sequel: A Beautifully Foolish Endeavor) by Hank Green

27. What was your greatest musical discovery?: 

I can’t think of any.

28. What did you want and get?: 

A contract to wrestle in Japan.

29. What did you want and not get?: 

Mental stability.

30. What was your favorite film of this year?: 

Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles: Mutant Mayhem

31. What did you do on your birthday, and how old were you?: 

I turned 39. I do not recall what I did..

32. What one thing would have made your year immeasurably more satisfying?: 

Can’t think of much. I enjoyed this year.

33. How would you describe your personal fashion concept in 2023?: 

Gym shorts and t-shirts/tank tops.

34. What kept you sane?: 

Nothing.

35. Which celebrity/public figure did you fancy the most?: 

Adam Savage and/or Taylor Swift

36. What political issue stirred you the most?: 

Probably a few, but I'm not interested in discussing that.

37. Who do you miss?: 

I missed my wife while I was in Japan. Now I miss my Japanese friends. [shrug]

38. Who was the best new person you met?: 

Everyone in Japan. The wrestlers, the fans, the company staff… everyone. I miss my little number 1 fan Nina, as well as a nice fan I met named Mayu.

39. Who were your closest friends in 2023? 

In no particular order: Torres, Rip, Delmi, Levi, Anton, Jet Wei, Kodai.

40. What are you doing to ring in 2024? 

I’m wrestling on NYE, but by midnight I’ll be home, relaxing with my wife.

41. Who do you plan on kissing to ring in 2024? 

My wife.

42. Tell us a valuable life lesson you learned in 2023: 

If you’re tenacious, eventually the world will bend to your will.

[ms-m-astrologer]

Saturn in 2021

Note: this one’s long.

Saturn’s 2021 Timeline:

Friday, January 1, 2021 - Saturn at 1:37 Aquarius

Sunday, February 14, 17:02 UT - Saturn enters pre-Rx shadow, 6:53 Aquarius

Wednesday, February 17, 19:08 UT - Saturn/Aquarius square Uranus/Taurus, 7:14 (7 degrees 14 minutes)

Sunday, May 23, 08:10 UT - Saturn stations retrograde, 13:31 Aquarius

Monday, June 14, 22:01 UT - Saturn Rx/Aquarius square Uranus/Taurus, 13:07 

Sunday, October 10, 01:19 UT - Saturn stations direct, 6:53 Aquarius

Friday, December 24, 07:17 UT - Saturn/Aquarius squares Uranus Rx/Taurus, 11:05

Saturday, January 1, 2022 - Saturn at 11:54 Aquarius

Saturday, January 15, 2022 - Saturn exits post-Rx shadow, 13:31 Aquarius

This planet, folks, is The One to pay attention to. Its transits affect everyone, without fail.

Saturn in Aquarius is just as strong as Saturn in Capricorn: both signs are ruled by Saturn, although it must share Aquarius with Uranus. And that brings me to The Three Big Deals of 2021, namely, those three squares between Saturn/Aquarius (strongly placed) and Uranus/Taurus (in its fall).

It always makes me scoff when I hear or see people say that Aquarius is a leftist, revolutionary sign. The 40th President of the US, Ronald Reagan (devil take him), was an Aquarius - he was revolutionary, all right, but in a decidedly conservative and reactionary direction. What Aquarius is (among other things), is ideological. It’s a fixed air sign; its opinions are set, and nothing will change its mind. Expect a lot of demands to adhere 100% to this or that orthodoxy. No shades of gray allowed; all is black or white.

The squares between Saturn and Uranus, according to Michelle Perrin in the 2021 Llewellyn Daily Planetary Guide, show that

We are turning a corner into a new age without really realizing we have left the old one behind, creating a time where new paradigms are no longer relevant but a new social order has yet to congeal into anything solid.

This particular square, with Saturn 270 degrees ahead of Uranus in the Zodiac, is a “Last Quarter” square. We’re turning away from what was hatched and brought to fruition after the Saturn-Uranus conjunctions of 1988 - we’re tearing down old structures that don’t work any more - and we get to do all that, without having a strong sense of where we’re headed next. (Namely, the one-and-done Saturn-Uranus conjunction, at 28:01 Gemini, on June 28, 2032.)

(If you were alive way back in 1988, think back to what was going on at the time in terms of larger cycles finishing and starting. The conjunctions were all in late Sagittarius: 29:55, 28:47, and 27:49.)

Saturn in Aquarius has particular challenges and lessons for us all to learn. The following is a synthesis between Isabel Hickey (Astrology A Cosmic Science), Steven Forrest (mostly The Book of Earth), and me.

“Tests of ownership. He who has no desire to possess has no fear of loss.” This is of course a very Taurus thing, as the sign is too apt to equate material stability with security. Uranus’ transit through Taurus is determined to demolish that misconception, and this year he’ll have some help from Saturn. We know we’re messing up here, when we give “too much power to money and security.”

“Test of true humility and lovingness. Denied the love sought in this lifetime until the spiritual bookkeeping is balanced.” Leo is all about himself being The Star, while Aquarius counters with “you’re only one star in a whole universe full of stars.” Can we shine without making it all about us? Overweening egos are due for a smackdown. Conversely, we can become too overwhelmed by “stage fright,” and refuse to share something that humanity desperately needs.

“Test of outgoing desire. Desire nature is extremely strong and until that is brought under control there is much suffering and pain.” Such a pitfall for all the fixed signs - not getting one’s own way 100%, but instead having to compromise, adapt, adjust, etc. - but especially for Scorpio. This may also manifest as needing to get over the typical Scorpio broody gloominess, into a more positive frame of mind.

“Test of responsibility. The soul must accept the responsibility of regeneration and be about the Father’s business.” I’m pretty sure what “Issy” meant was that we have to stop trying to keep up with the Joneses, and start trying to help our fellow humans. But there’s another danger here, namely the stereotypical Aquarian detachment from emotions. The sign can be too cold, and that eventually begets sociopaths.

When Saturn travels between 1:37 and 6:53 Aquarius: placements will receive a one-and-done aspect from transiting Saturn. Examples: Ms M’s natal Mars/Aries will receive a one-and-done sextile; Ms M’s natal Juno/Leo will receive a one-and-done opposition. (Like it matters if she’s single!?!)

When Saturn travels between 6:53 and 13:31 Aquarius: Saturn spends most of his time here, not only for 2021 but going a couple of weeks into 2022. Any placements affected by this will get three separate aspects. The first one will bring a situation to our attention; the second, retrograde aspect will give us further insights into the situation; the third and final aspect will allow some resolution, if we work for it. 

(This part is making Ms M apprehensive, since it’s going to trigger her natal fixed grand cross: Asc/Scorpio, Venus and Desc in Taurus, both squared by Ceres and Uranus in Leo, and by Pholus in Aquarius. Empty nest?)

Even more fun is that transiting Uranus/Taurus will be wreaking havoc at the same time. It will travel between 6:48 and 14:49 of Taurus in 2021, and as you can see it overlaps the same degrees as Saturn. If you have fixed placements between 6:53 and 13:31 (that is, anything in the signs Taurus, Leo, Scorpio, or Aquarius), there is some hard work in your future. Even if it’s for something better to manifest, and even when we know that intellectually, we’re still reluctant to let go of control.

This also goes for mutable placements (the signs Gemini, Virgo, Sagittarius, or Pisces) between 21:53 and 28:31; Saturn and Uranus will semi-square (45 degrees) or sesquare (135 degrees) that placement, making for a lot of frustration. You won’t be able to wiggle out of consequences, as easily as you normally do.

If you have placements between 6:53 and 13:31 of the signs Aries, Gemini, Libra, or Sagittarius - lucky you! You’ve got some flowing energy between Saturn and that placement, and although it doesn’t guarantee a less painful time, you’ll at least have an easier time coming to grips with it. (Trine Ms M’s natal Mercury/Gemini/8th - astrology will get her through this!!)

In The Book of Earth, Steven Forrest starts out every description of transiting Saturn aspects, with the words “Growing pains.” That description is perfect. The stakes are a little higher, and the process more complex, than simply getting physically taller, though. Steven says that during “Saturn times,” we need to intentionally select a challenge, then give it everything we’ve got. The reward is that we move forward to the next maturational stage; if we refuse, we end up trapped in the past. Here are a couple more quotes from the Saturn section of Steven’s The Book of Earth.

“Saturn is not narrowly about old age; it is simply about whatever is the next step for us.” Growing up, in other words. As I have said on this blog many times before, the “only” thing that happened to me during my first Saturn return, was getting married. That was still a big deal in 1987: I assumed a different societal role (remember Saturn’s association with the 10th House), in a very traditional way (natal Saturn in Sagittarius). Perhaps it is because, as a small girl, I had four Crone figures in my life; perhaps it’s all the Aries in me, trined by my natal Saturn - but I wasn’t afraid, instead embracing the new opportunities.

“Saturn is not bad - but it is quite fair to say that it is hard.” My guess is that this is the one that frightens many 20-somethings - not to mention people who are much, much older and ought to know better. “Hard” does not equal “bad”!

Saturn in Aquarius is all about (1) knowing your own values and (2) living up to them. Anybody else’s approval, or disapproval, is completely irrelevant - and we need to accept that, even if “anybody else” doesn’t. We need to question authority, and also what’s known as “conventional wisdom.” We need to work on becoming more “authentic.” And we need to become comfortable with some solitude (2020 has been a great training ground for that), without isolating ourselves emotionally. There are a few people at least who will understand and accept you; get off your ass and put yourself in the way of finding them.

[karasuno-chaos]

Resolutions (Daichi x Reader)

Hello!  Happy New Year!  I’m just popping by to offer this little blurb in honor of Daichi’s birthday (Dec. 31) and the new year!  Enjoy some Karasuno third years bonding and the blooming of possibilities. -Giz

Genre: fluff

Word Count:  1,917

Warnings: drinking (but not excessively)

When Daichi pulled the cheap wig out of the bag, his face contorted into something between humor and horror.  Suga cackled at the reaction, apparently pleased with the response to his gift.  Asahi and Kiyoko laughed as well.  Even though you were confused, you cracked a grin.  You didn’t get the joke, but your friends’ amusement was infectious.

“This is terrible,” Daichi said with enough mirth to be half-joking.

“I think you mean perfect,” Suga grinned.

“Is Daichi going bald or something?” you asked in a whisper, leaning across the couch to Kiyoko.

“No,” she chuckled.  “It’s referencing that time the vice principal’s toupee landed on his head.”

“What?” you cried, looking around at the others in demand of an explanation.

“Y/N, you never heard about that?” Asahi asked.

“No!  I mean, I knew the vice principal had a toupee, but I didn’t know Daichi wore it once.”

“It was not intentional, I assure you,” he grumbled.

“So what happened?”

They recounted the event from two years ago.  Daichi’s face twisted ruefully at the memory.  You were amazed you’d never heard this story when it still affected him so strongly.  You and he had been friends through high school and managed to grow closer after graduation, but evidently there were still things you could learn about him.

“I can’t believe you never heard about it,” Asahi said once you had all of the facts.

“We were sworn to secrecy,” Kiyoko recalled.

“Daichi was very strict about enforcing that rule,” Suga snickered.

“Even now I get the sense that the vice principal is going to appear out of nowhere and lecture us.”  The former captain shuddered.  “It used to give me nightmares.”

“I still get nightmares,” Asahi groaned.

“You weren’t even there!” Suga laughed.

“That’s probably for the best,” Kiyoko chuckled.  “I’m not sure he would have survived living through it.”

“I can’t believe I never knew about this,” you said, directing your words to Daichi.  He gave you an apologetic smile and shrugged.  “What other stories did you keep from me in high school?”

“Nothing important,” he promised.

“HA!” Suga snorted.  Daichi gave him a look that you weren’t sure how to interpret.  You glanced at Kiyoko who shrugged and hid her smile in her wine glass.  You huffed out an exasperated breath before taking your own sip of wine.  You could guess at what they were implying.

By graduation, you’d figured out your feelings for Daichi, and so had your friends.  Despite their encouragement, you’d decided not to act on those feelings.  Navigating jobs and post-graduate plans was challenging enough without including a new relationship or a broken heart.  Besides, you were comfortable in your friendship with Daichi.  Yes you wanted more, but you could wait until your lives settled down a little.

Over the past year, though, you’d started noticing a shift in your dynamic.  There were more late night conversations or meet-ups for coffee.  The way Daichi behaved didn’t change, but you’d catch his eye more often, and he’d look at you with softer expressions than he used to.  Suga started teasing the both of you, saying you were behaving like Kiyoko and Tanaka.  You usually brushed it off like you did with most of Suga’s teasing, but your other friends were starting to drop hints that you should start dating, and Daichi managed to dodge their leading questions without denying the possibility.  You figured it was only a matter of time before you talked and made it official.  You just hadn’t had time to have that conversation yet.

You promised yourself to do it this year, but for now, you would enjoy this evening with your friends.  It was possibly the last time you’d get to hang out like this.  Kiyoko was engaged, and by the next New Year’s Eve, she and Tanaka would be happily married.  Asahi was starting to make his way onto the fashion scene in Tokyo, and while he wasn’t the most adventurous person, you knew he was excited about the possibilities before him and would run forward into whatever opportunities he discovered.  You, Suga, and Daichi were finishing up schooling and certifications, but then you’d be settling into careers of your own.  A lot could happen in a year.

You looked around Daichi’s living room at your friends.  Tonight you were celebrating Daichi’s birthday and the end of the year.  Tomorrow you’d make your New Year’s shrine visit and celebrate Asahi’s birthday.  You had two whole days to reminisce and joke around with your favorite people.  You thought it was the perfect way to kick off the next year.

You must have closed your eyes, content with the friendship and wine flowing through you, because the next thing you knew, you were bolting upright as something brushed against your shoulders.

“Whoa!”  Daichi flinched away, surprised by your sudden movement.  You blinked, taking in the blanket in his hands and the dimmed lights.  “Sorry, I thought you were asleep.”

“I think I was,” you mumbled, rubbing your eyes.  “What time is it?”

“11:30.”

You looked at your other friends who had also fallen asleep.  Suga and Asahi leaned on each other, a blanket draped across them, and Kiyoko was curled under another blanket at the other end of the couch.  Everyone’s wine glasses had been carefully moved to the kitchen, and pillows were close at hand if anyone woke and wanted a comfier place to rest their head.

“Look at us,” you said with a grin.  “We can’t even last until midnight.  We’ve gotten old.”

Daichi chuckled.

“I debated waking everyone up, but I think we’d all agree that sleep is more exciting than midnight on New Year’s Eve.”  He caught your eye with a smile.  “I guess we are getting old.”

“Why are you still up then?” you asked.  He shrugged.

“Someone has to tuck you in.”

“Not me, not anymore.”  You hauled yourself off of the couch, letting the movement hide the fond grin that pulled at your lips.  “I’m staying up until midnight.  Want to keep me company?”

“Sure.”  He tossed you the blanket in his hands and grabbed one for himself.  “Let’s step out onto the balcony so we don’t wake the others.”

The apartment balcony was barely a balcony, but there was enough room for both of you to lean against the guardrail and take in the stars and streetlights.  Even for the end of December, it was mild, and you were comfortable wrapped in the blanket next to your best friend.

“Did you have a good birthday?” you asked after a moment, gently bumping him with your shoulder.

“It was great.  Thank you for making it happen.”

“No need to thank me.  Everyone was in as soon as I proposed the idea of this get-together.  I think we’re all getting something great out of it.”

“It is nice to have everyone together for a while.”

“Next time will probably be Kiyoko’s wedding,” you mused.

“Crazy,” he breathed.  “Who knew Tanaka’s persistence would pay off?”

“I did,” you chuckled, “but we’re not all gifted with foresight, so I won’t hold it against you.”

“Well did you predict that we’d be the only two awake to welcome in the new year?”

“No,” you admitted.  “But I’m not complaining.”

You smiled, and he grinned back in that slightly soft way he was showing you more and more often.

“I’m not either,” he said quietly.  You felt butterflies and anticipation in your chest.  You turned away before the feeling overwhelmed you.

“Do you have any resolutions for the new year?”

“A few,” he admitted.  “You?”

“A few.”  You checked your phone for the time.  “There’s only a few minutes left.  Care to share any before the new year arrives?”

“If I share them now, doesn’t that mean they might not come true?” he asked cheekily.

“I mean, they might not come true regardless.  Besides, you’re thinking of birthdays and shooting stars.  Those are different.”

“It is my birthday, though.”

“For another three minutes,” you said, checking your phone again.

“Well I’m going to keep my resolutions and wishes to myself, just to be safe.  If you wanted to share any, though, I’m all ears.”

“I think, to keep it fair, I’ll keep my resolutions to myself too.”

“I thought so,” he said with a grin.

“Oh, you think you have me all figured out, huh?”

“Maybe.  I’m pretty close, at least.”

“Bold words, sir.”

“You’re not denying it,” he challenged gently.  You looked at him, studying his face for traces of intention and seeing only understanding.  You felt your face warm under his gaze.

“Alright then,” you said, “if you know me so well, what are my New Year’s resolutions?”

“I’m pretty sure I know one of them.”  He took a step forward, unwrapping an arm from his blanket and reaching for you.  You were sure you were blushing deeply when his fingers reached your cheek and cradled your face, but you didn’t pull away.  You were excited more than embarrassed or nervous, even if your emotions had your head buzzing.

One of the nearby apartments must have been hosting a party as well because you heard a faint chorus of voices start counting down from ten.  You didn’t bother to check your phone.  You didn’t want to look away from Daichi or break this momentum.  You were on the brink of a new year and a new level of your relationship.  A smile spread across your face as the countdown reached zero, and he returned your grin.

“Happy New Year Daichi.”

“Happy New Year Y/N.”

Then, because it was the most natural thing you could do, you leaned forward and met his lips with yours.  The kiss was gentle yet firm, a question and answer and promise all in one.  You didn’t linger in its warmth, though, not wanting to overstep.  This was just the beginning, after all.  You stepped back, and Daichi let you, though his hand held your cheek a second longer.

“Well it’s about time!”

You startled at the unexpected exclamation, and Daichi’s hand retreated to his blanket.  Suga, Asahi, and Kiyoko were crowded in the balcony doorway grinning at the two of you.

“When did you wake up?” Daichi asked.

“A few minutes ago,” Kiyoko explained.

“So are you finally official?” Asahi asked, leading the others onto the small balcony.

“Well, we haven’t actually discussed anything,” Daichi said, and you caught a trace of uncertainty in his voice.  You understood the hesitation.  It was New Year’s, after all.  Sometimes kissing at midnight was just an act of celebration.  But the confidence you’d felt when you’d held his gaze in that second after you broke apart was something different.  You didn’t want this chance to slip away, so you reached for his hand and squeezed it gently.  He glanced at you, and your grin chased away his remaining uncertainty.

“But yes,” you answered, turning back to your friends, “I’m pretty sure we are.”

“I called it!” Suga whooped, slapping Daichi happily on his back.  You laughed, letting go of your new boyfriend’s hand to accept hugs and congratulations from your friends.

As you wished them a happy new year, you couldn’t contain the smile spreading across your face.  This was a new start.  The new year was spread before all of you with its possibilities and adventures.  You caught Daichi’s eye, and from his expression you knew he was just as excited for everything you would get to experience together.