#i try to mix up sentence structures to keep things from feeling stale

[marshmallowgoop]

I really do miss Heiji, though.

Right now, I'm slowly making my way towards the (current) halfway point of the series. The aspect ratio's just shifted from 4:3 to 16:9, the classic OST's been switched out, and while Kogoro's voice actor has yet to change, and there hasn't been a single drop of Bourbon, Season 15 still feels like a transitionary period of the anime for me, like a real push into more modern Detective Conan.

I mean, no more fullscreen formatting?

The future is now!

But anyway, I'm bad at math, so maybe I'm wrong here, but a glance at the "Heiji Hattori Appearances" wiki page tells me that this point of the series is also the longest stretch in its entire run without the Detective of the West. From Episode 409 (towards the middle of Season 14) to Episode 478 (towards the middle of Season 16), the only Heiji you'll find is in the openings.

And though I have to say that I love this shot of him and Shinichi from OP 15, "Hoshi no Kagayaki yo"...

I also have to say that the sole Heiji case in which this opening was used, "Conan and Heiji's Deduction Magic," Episodes 406-408, is... not anywhere near my list of top DetCo stories. It has its moments—like Ran and Kazuha getting to have fun and share an interest in magic (at least for a little while)—but Heiji's jealous, irritated behavior across these three episodes, while certainly intended to be funny, comes across to me much more negatively. In my eyes, at least, it's enough to cast a sour, disappointing shadow over the entire thing.

I'd almost recommend skipping this case entirely, but you'd be missing some crucial character insight if you did. Because these episodes also reveal that Heiji... doesn't... realize he's in love with Kazuha?

Yeah. I had the same reaction as Conan. What.

You're telling me that Heiji was seriously just buying time here (Episode 324)?

Heiji: I really mean it, Kazuha... I really wanted to tell you before I die. I tried to tell you many times... When we were back to back, and I felt you trembling, I wanted to say...

You're telling me that he was seriously acting all super smooth without anything of substance behind his words?

Kazuha: If we make it through, will you tell me what you were going to tell me? Heiji: Sure. I'll keep on telling you until you get tired of hearing it.

That, when he drops the ball in the after-credits scene and blubbers that he only wanted to complain about Kazuha's ponytail bothering him, it wasn't because he was being the typical DetCo tsundere who can't admit his feelings, or because he felt too flustered with Shinichi listening to the whole conversation over the phone, or because he wanted to confess in a more romantic setting, or because of really so many things, but instead because he seriously didn't realize that he was in love with her and was just making stuff up?!?!?!

I just. I don't even know what to say? I thought he knew? This is Detective Conan, isn't it? Where the characters are pointedly infatuated with each other but just never seem to say it?

I mean... I guess this confirms that there's no way Heiji would realize he's in love with Shinichi... and that he's probably not embarrassed about said love because no one around him interprets it as romantic... or at least don't after it's revealed that "Kudo" isn't Heiji's Tokyo girlfriend....

Long tangent aside—I swear all that was just supposed to be a side note!—one thing I do appreciate from "Conan and Heiji's Deduction Magic" is Conan's behavior towards Heiji in that early scene between them (Episode 406):

Conan, imitating Kazuha: Guess who? It's me.

It's playful. Conan notices Heiji's irritation and how he's not being his usual upbeat, enthusiastic self, and though Shinichi goes about it in... not the best way, I do get the sense that he's trying to cheer his friend up. When Heiji responds with unexpected distress and exasperation, there is care to show that Conan's concerned—and if his blush is any indication, he's also flustered that his teasing didn't have the intended outcome:

Conan, internally: Hey, Hattori...?

And it's really a little moment, I know, but Shinichi, being very much the typical DetCo tsundere, is often depicted as though he's unhappy and annoyed whenever anyone's affectionate towards him. (And with Heiji in particular, he's suspicious of said affection in the beginning, always thinking that Heiji has ulterior motives, but that's an essay for another day.)

Shots from the 59th ending sequence, "Kimi to Koi no Mama de Owarenai Itsumo Yume no Mama ja Irarenai," come to mind when I think about Shinichi's tsundere attitude, but probably more relevantly here, so do pieces of merchandise and artwork featuring him and Heiji, such as this rubber strap and this illustration that was made into an acrylic stand:

So, I like that bit from 406. Conan's behavior is not meanspirited trolling but instead a lighthearted (intended) pick-me-up that says that, while he has a hard time showing it, Shinichi does reciprocate the affection given to him. He does like spending time with his friends, and he does want to see them happy. I'm reminded of other artwork, like Conan's "dream vacation" that @shirleykarasuma wrote about beautifully here, or the cover for this movie guidebook promoting The Crimson Love Letter that I've stumbled across while shopping for DetCo merchandise (with a bigger image found here):

All of them—from Conan gleefully trying to get a smile out of his usually smiley companion, to eagerly dreaming of playing beach volleyball as himself with his friends, to unabashedly enjoying a piggyback ride from Heiji—are examples of honest, unconcealed emotion.

I can't say that I loved "Conan and Heiji's Deduction Magic" overall. But if the point I'm at in the series now truly is something of a transitionary period, I hope that Shinichi moves into outwardly showing his affection like he does there more often—concerning Heiji or anyone else! A shift in that direction matches what is arguably the thesis statement for the entire franchise; that is, to overcome the obstacles in his path, Shinichi must open up to and rely on others, as it was his refusal to do so that created Conan.

But also... it's just cute. I still haven't seen The Crimson Love Letter, so I have no idea if that cover image has any basis in the film, but I sure hope it does because wow. Adorable. Love to see people wholeheartedly love each other.

[panainpublic]

Currently going through the more negative reviews for Heartstopper on IMDB, and most of them aren't exactly... Well. It's quite a sight to see, I'll put it that way. Let's just say I'll be reviewing those reviews here.

Xavier_Stone: 1/10

The most heavily 10 star reviewed show of 2022

Most of this review isn't about the show itself, but about... Bots reviewing Heartstopper on IMDB? I don't know much about botting problems on IMDB, but I don't think Xavier has seen the hype this show brought with itself.

The actual review of the show itself is in their third (and originally last) paragraph. They say that the story isn't anything out of the ordinary and that the dialogue is poorly written. Both of these are fair points, probably, I dunno I'm not that good at judging that type of stuff when it's not blatantly obvious. The next sentence, though, is, and I quote: "More 20 to 30 year olds playing high schoolers." Bruh. The rest of this paragraph is just complaining about originality, nothing notable.

The last paragraph is edited in 20 minutes after posting, and it's Xavier complaining that their review got called unhelpful 80 times by what they think are bots.

Overall, 2/10 review. 2 fair points of critique, the rest is just... What.

HappyChat-15549: 1/10

London Stage School Accents

This entire review is about their accents. Nothing else.

1/10 review, what am I supposed to do with this. Not watch it because they're well-known to be British and this is absolutely NOTHING like the standardized accents in American TV-shows and movies? /s

LucyKempers: 3/10

Poor cringe writing

The title is promising for once, but it's only mentioned in the first sentence. It's a fair piece of criticism, though.

The rest of this very brief review, though, are complaints about the cast. First, Lucy says that they're unattractive (their words, not mine), and then tells the creators to do "market research on people that fit the criteria for the audience you are trying to represent." Because Heartstopper is famous for not paying attention to that /s.

2/10, purely because of the title and the first sentence.

pakaraka-15537: 3/10

Not exactly good in any way

This review calls the show unoriginal, the dialogue cringeworthy, and the acting stale. Says the good scenes don't get to shine because of the "haha, I'm edgy, I'm looking at you in silence because I disagree" moments.

Some valid points of criticism, but the review lacks real meat, I guess, and I just can't see where the entire "haha, I'm edgy" comment comes from. 6/10.

benjaminlugo-09071: 3/10

I did not enjoy it.

(this review has a spoiler warning, but no real spoilers are given.)

Benjamin thinks the movie (again, their words, not mine) is very mid and "a little overhyped for something that has many cringe aspects." They compare Charlie to the webtoon Boyfriends, saying that he makes himself seem "small and tiny". (I haven't read Boyfriends, someone please tell me how accurate that is.) They think it's not a good sight to see.

They sum up their experiences watching the show in the second part, and end it with saying who *would* like it (someone that likes shows that are kinda cringy and romantic).

I'd say this is a solid review. I'm not that sold on the personality comparison, since it's just how the character is supposed to be and it would be a different show if he wasn't like that. The spoiler warning is also excessive and will only keep people from reading your review. 8/10.

erara-humanum-est: 4/10

Mixed feelings

Erara lists pros and cons, which is a very nice, strong, and structured way to start of a review. I won't go in on the listed things.

Besides the pros and cons, there's a little bit at the bottom that tells you what they don't necessarily like about the show, and once again the people who *would* enjoy it (10-15 year olds who are looking for light coming of age lgbtq+ rep).

Good points are raised, and it's very nicely written and structured. This is what an IMDB review should look like. 10/10.

Avidviewer-02847: 5/10

Similar to "Love, Victor" but not as good.

Oh boy, this has got to be my favorite review.

Our avid little viewer compares Heartstopper to Love, Victor. And just... keeps going on about Love, Victor. They really don't like that Love, Victor is gonna end after it's 3rd season this June. Please watch Love, Victor. Avid's favorite show is Love, Victor, probably. Have I mentioned Love, Victor?

Besides clearly liking Love, Victor, Avid also thinks there should be more focus on sex. I shit you not, they put that into their review. Here's how they started the second paragraph of their review:

"The writing in "Heartstopper" isn't as good as the writing in "Love, Victor [AN: help me I'm going insane here, please stop talking about fucking Love, Victor]" and it's very sterile, these are two male teens with raging hormones and no sex was seen or even discussed in the 8 episodes."

Tell me you're allo and haven't read the webcomic without telling me you're allo and haven't read the webcomic. Avid will go first, but first, let them tell you all about Love, Victor.

They also think a lot was missing (you're correct, 4 chapters worth of comic, in fact), and would've liked 2 more episodes with better writing.

This gets a 3/10. A few good points were raised, but spoiler alert: you can critique something without comparing it to other media! And please, plEASE STOP FORCING SEX SCENES INTO CHILDREN'S MEDIA. ONE OF THE CHARACTERS TURNS 15 ON-SCREEN.

Anyways, I hope you enjoyed, and also learned something, because I certainly did: Avid is an avid Love, Victor fan.