#i truly feel like im slowly being driven to insanity

[imblocking-you]

Feeling extremely impulsive and it took words of a stranger to shakr me back up to my rstionality like what the fuck am i doing being so careless like this and actually considering, being pushed to the end by my own head...

[yggdrasilhypno]

Today’s been such a fun day for me, simply scrolling through Tumblr and finding myself reading all of these lovely scripts and inductions.

So many creative and interesting ideas, flourishing underneath each and every meticulously chosen word.

Everyone has their favorite kinks and ideas, and you can truly feel their passion within their work.

So that’s what I want to chat to you about, if you don’t mind: passion.

Passion’s incredibly important to me, it’s what draws me to people honestly.

Whenever someone’s passionate about something, you can really feel it all in their behavior.

Their voice changes a bit, showing signs of excitement and knowledge.

Their hands may start to move around, accentuating their speech.

Their eyes seem to light up with fire, pure and utter joy expressing from just their stare.

And you can really feel it too, in the way you find yourself understanding where they’re coming from.

Maybe you think back to something you love and can relate.

The best moments however is when you feel swept up in their passion, as if you’re getting excited just hearing about it.

For me, I constantly find myself getting sucked into their passion, even if it’s not something I’m knowledgeable of.

Though if you’ve ever read my writing, you may understand what my passions are.

I love a lot of things in life, from the silly to the insane and to the simple.

But for now, let’s simply explore my passion and the passion of others in hypnosis.

Because right now, just hearing about people’s passions is enough to get you invested in what im saying, and in turn you just want to listen a little bit more for me.

But I could just simply show you why passion is so beautiful to me.

Hypnosis is something I believe in heavily, not only as a method of entertainment or clarity but as a legitimate therapy and healing outlet.

More so than that however, I believe it to be utterly fascinating.

The idea of being able to influence the way someone thinks, acts, and perceives the world only through focus and relaxation absolutely drives me wild.

That fire within me lights and all I can talk about is hypnosis, I love to listen and to learn about it constantly and as my words swell, it feels like a tornado slowly consuming everything else around it.

Like a drug, it draws out ideas within me that I allow to flow expertly and with precision, always being able to craft something tailor made to break brains.

And yet, as one may feel this passion, they feel swept up in it, as am I whenever I feel passion within someone.

Their eyes may follow along to what words I say, and the torrential flurry of them may be too powerful for constant comprehension.

After a bit of exposure, their minds seem to just nod along to the flow of my passion, as it engulfs them in a similar flame to mine.

You can understand that, can’t you?

Feeling so driven and happy about something that you can’t help but let it all out?

You can feel that fire too.

You can feel my fire.

Like a constant river flowing, my ideas careen downwards towards you as you’re able to understand every word and allow them to ignite you further on.

You may need my words, you may want to listen to them more so you can feel this amazing even longer.

It’s simple passion sweeping you, sweetie.

Follow along and prosper with me.

[taexual]

HOLIC - 27 | jb x reader

pairing: Im Jaebum x Reader

genre: enemies to lovers au | roommate au

warnings: tiiiiiny bit of angst but also fluff?

words: 4.6k

disclaimer: i do not own the gif, please let me know if it belongs to you, so i can give proper credit

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Calling in sick wasn’t an option the next day because that would have meant you’d have to stay home, in the exact same place where Jaebum had kissed you last night, and you didn’t think you’d have managed to stay there the whole day without going insane. You needed something to do so you wouldn’t think of what his lips had felt like. So you wouldn’t dream of kissing him again.

You’d managed to convince Eva to excuse you from working on the preparations for Jiho’s exhibition and, instead, you occupied yourself with what you usually did at the gallery anyway – customer service. Somehow, though, no matter how many obnoxious rich people you had to direct to the same paintings over and over again, you still couldn’t focus on anything but all that had happened before the kiss and all that had happened after – which was nothing.

Jaebum had left your room without saying anything last night and he’d stayed in his room this morning when you woke up to go to work. You wouldn’t have thought that he was avoiding you because he could have just been sleeping, but the lack of explanations about the kiss still left you wondering.

Why had he kissed you? Why didn’t he say anything afterwards? What was going to happen now?

Jaebum had insinuated that you were in love a few nights ago after you admitted that his song – that was meant to be full of bitterness – still seemed like a love song to you. He’d explicitly told you that people who were in love tended to see love everywhere and you didn’t object. More than that, he didn’t ask you to elaborate on why you didn’t bother to argue with him. In retrospective, you couldn’t really find a reason that would have explained why he wasn’t curious about your lack of objections. Unless, of course, he knew all about your feelings for him.

You groaned suddenly, shaking your head. You might have let your mind wander into the territory of hopeless dreams as you wondered if it was possible for Jaebum to develop feelings for you as well – hence why he might not have been bothered with the knowledge that you were in love with him – but you’ve never expected him to actually show you what he was feeling and then leave, raising even more questions.

Was it actually possible for him to fall in love with you, too? Was it possible for him to understand that you two had mutual feelings for each other and act on those feelings instead of talking about them? Was it possible that the reason why he couldn’t explain his jealousy that provoked him to text Suji, was because he’d been jealous of someone else being with you?

No. You couldn’t do this to yourself.

You put your headphones on, desperate to quiet your thoughts down. If you kept at it, either your heart was going to break a hole in your ribcage with its rapid beating, or you were going to break a hole in the floor of the gallery after dropping – for the fourth time that day, no less – your tablet on the floor again.

Here you’d thought your biggest problem today was going to be avoiding Jiho – you were still too aware of his presence somewhere in the building and you dreaded seeing him when you rounded corners during your shift – but you were completely out of it and Jiho was only partially to blame for that.

It was as if Jaebum’s kiss had teleported you to a galaxy you had no way of coming back from, not even if you distracted yourself with loud music, and not even if he explained his reasons for kissing you. That was just how scarily powerful he was – he didn’t just sweep you off your feet; he took you to a whole different world.

As you drove home from work that evening, heavy rain all around you, you tried not to allow yourself to get distracted even more than you already were, but you still couldn’t help but feel anxious about what was awaiting you at home.

You wouldn’t put it past Jaebum to just leave – he excelled in avoiding his problems – and stay at Jackson’s studio until he was sure you’d fallen asleep. You weren’t sure if you were comforted by this possible outcome, though. On the one hand, you wouldn’t have to discuss what had happened if you didn’t see Jaebum. On the other hand, however, you wouldn’t get to see him – and even despite the obviously messy situation between the two of you, you still couldn’t help but want to see him.

The car on the expressway in front of you was in no rush – you didn’t blame them, in weather like this, you weren’t in that big of a hurry, either – so, as you drove behind it, going at a far less than appropriate speed for the first time in your life, you didn’t just find yourself reminiscing and reliving the kiss through memory. You found yourself conjuring up scenarios where the universe aligned itself perfectly for you and Jaebum to share another moment of intimacy. Only this time, you wouldn’t get interrupted by the sudden reality-check, by your own insecurities, or by the unexpected nature of the situation.

This time, you’d get lost in the kiss and you’d stay lost.

A pathetic little pang of hope whispered that perhaps this was exactly what was going to happen when you got home tonight but you tried not to focus on this thought too much because the bigger part of you was able to recognize how unlikely that was. You and Jaebum were obviously not the type of people who, when confronted with a problem, found a common ground instead of fighting about it or just moving past it without stopping to discuss it at all.

You’d kissed. And, depending on which way you looked at it from, you could have either said that it was out of the blue – because, in a way, it really was – or that everything in your life had been leading up to that: all the fights, the make-ups, and, finally, the actual bonding that came like a calm after a torturously long storm. It was unexpected. But maybe it was also meant to happen.

You sighed slowly, suddenly feeling an unexplainable urge to get home and actually see what awaited you there for yourself instead of coming up with possible outcomes that just exhausted you and was now starting to give you anxiety on top of everything, too.

The car in front of you still hadn’t sped up, so, glancing briefly at your front mirror to make sure there were no cars behind you, you switched lanes, hoping to drive around it and carry on – but faster. The rain made it difficult to maneouver the car and, only when you had already pulled into the counterflowing lane, did you notice the headlights, headed right at you.

You hadn’t realized there was a car coming in your direction and, by the time you did, your heart was already in your throat as you turned the wheel of the car, the vehicle skidding off the main road, puddles of rain splashing all around you.

The car had passed you safely – beeping wildly – as you panicked, attempting to stop your car before you tumbled down the hill on the roadside or ended up in the middle of the lane again, causing an actual car accident. Although the hillside wasn’t too steep – you probably wouldn’t have died – you knew you couldn’t afford to total the car by allowing it to drive itself down to the bottom of it.

Still not breathing and only hearing a weird, constant beeping in your ears, you caught sight of the pole of the road sign when your car was millimeters away from it, thus driving right into it because, by that time, it was too late to stop and find a way to drive around it or return to your rightful lane. Colliding into the pole actually helped you stop the vehicle and you finally exhaled all the air that you’d been holding in ever since you nearly drove right into a car in the opposite lane.

By now, the cars were signaling all around you, confused and annoyed to see you stopped on the side of the road, the bumper of your car pushed against the pole that had stopped you. One of the cars stopped right behind you and a man got out, yelling something. You were deaf to most of the world – the only thing you could hear was the rain, pitter-pattering on the hood of your car, on the windshield, and all around you. The man, unhappy by how quickly he’d gotten wet, got back into his own car and generously offered you another tirade of soundless curse words as he drove past you.

Swallowing and trying to stop your hands from shaking, you opened your car door to check the damage.

For the first few seconds, you couldn’t see much of anything. The rain wasn’t just deafening anymore, it was also blinding. You weren’t expecting a downpour like this, so you didn’t bring an umbrella with you when you left this morning, but now you truly wished you had. Although, it probably wouldn’t have saved you from the accident.

One thing was obvious – you’d dented the front of the car and cracked the left headlight. The pole you’d driven into had surprisingly remained standing – alright, so it seemed like the car stopped almost immediately after you touched the pole so perhaps the impact wasn’t as severe as it’d felt to you inside of the vehicle – which was one less problem for you to worry about, but now you were left debating if you should have called the police or just the tow guys to take your car away.

You didn’t feel confident enough to drive again in rain like this. Clearly, you didn’t have the right mindset to get behind the wheel in the first place – what were you thinking, daydreaming in the middle of heavy rain while on the expressway? – but now you felt even worse. Thank God you hadn’t gotten hurt or, worse, hurt anyone else.

Another car stopped across the road and, this time, a woman stepped outside. She said something but, after you didn’t hear her, she waved her hands, loudly asking if you needed an ambulance.

The collision wasn’t that bad, you were fine. What you really needed in that moment was a shock of electric current to wake you up but you doubted the ambulance provided such services for people who were completely fine physically.

“I’m okay!” you called back to the woman, hoping she’ll hear you. After she didn’t respond, you raised your hand, giving her a thumbs-up. ��Thank you!”

She watched you for another few moments before getting back in her car. She didn’t drive away and, as you continued to stand in the rain, still utterly confused and almost appalled that you had actually almost caused a car accident, you saw her step out of the car again.

“I’ve called the police,” she called out to you, turning her head both ways. She looked like she wanted to get to you but there were too many cars between the two of you for her to safely cross the two lanes separating you. “They’ll be here in a moment. Are you sure you’re fine?”

You nodded but then understood that it was nearly impossible for her to see you through the rain.

“I’m fine,” you tried to respond but your voice broke on the last syllable.

The policemen, of course, gave you a lecture before getting down to business. After that, they handled everything, including getting your car towed away to get it fixed and explaining the insurance policies to you. They had even taken you home, which would have been very sweet of them had they not continued to lecture you and make crude jokes about “typical female drivers” all the way to your house.

Being shaken up about the accident had provided you with a plausible excuse not to stop by the police station – and the officers took pity on you anyway, before joking about how “the road sign only suffered a minor whiplash, so it’s probably not going to sue” – and, instead, you were outside of your apartment door, ready to go home within two hours of the unexpected end of your day.

When you finally unlocked the door and entered the apartment, your empty eyes scanning the equally empty hallway, you realized you might have been here alone. Aside from the helpful woman who’d stayed with you until the police escorted you home, you hadn’t told anyone else about what had happened and, thus, didn’t receive any comfort from anyone you were actually close to, so realizing that the apartment was empty was awfully disappointing.

You were still far too shocked to text your friends about this and, looking back, the thoughts that had worried you before the accident – what were you and Jaebum going to do – seemed too childish to even remember in that moment – let alone talk about it – so you didn’t even try to contact them, choosing to focus on getting yourself to your bed instead.

“Oh, hey,” you suddenly heard and, consequently, noticed the door of Jaebum’s bedroom open. “I was—whoa, you okay?”

“Yeah,” you replied automatically, your stomach clenching at the sight of him even despite having just decided that you had no energy to worry about where the two of you were standing anymore. “Collided into a pole on the expressway on my way home. But I’m fine.”

“You—what?” his eyes widened in shock as he walked out of his room and, in few quick strides, stopped right in front of you, his hands immediately reaching for your face to—gently—lift it to his so he could see your eyes. “What happened? Were you hurt?”

The unexpectedly bold gesture left you surprised and yet the feeling of someone else taking the control of what you were doing – because you absolutely did not know what to do or where to look – was almost relieving.

“No, I’m fine,” you repeated. “It was raining and I was stupid enough not to focus on my driving and instead… thought of other things. I almost crashed into a different car but I didn’t. It was just a pole. So, I’m fine. The pole is… fine, too.”

Jaebum frowned, wanting to question what was it that you were thinking of but choosing not to because the hollowness behind your eyes told him enough. You were still too surprised—and scared—by all that you’d allowed to happen and you needed to get your thoughts together before you could talk about today.

“Come here,” Jaebum said, letting go of your face and taking your hand instead. “You need to lie down.”

“N-no—”

“You’re lying down,” he rephrased himself, making the decision for you as he guided you towards his bedroom. You didn’t question why but – as he stopped by his bed, moving the blankets aside and helping you lie down on the mattress – your shock from the accident seemed to mold into surprise about the way Jaebum was treating you.

“I’m fine,” you felt the need to assure him again. “I’ll just change into something dry and I’ll be fine.”

“Yeah, no, I can hear the way your heart’s beating from over here,” he shot back, refusing to let you leave the room. “Stay here. Let me get you some tea and some fresh clothes, and then you can tell me what happened.”

“I already told you,” you kept on insisting. “It’s nothing serious, I’m really—”

“I swear, you claim I’m the stubborn one in this house,” he cut you off, “but you’re making it really difficult for me to take care of you right now.”

You closed your mouth, swallowing your argument.

“You don’t have t—” you started to say but stopped when Jaebum shook his head.

“You’ve been in a car accident, the severity of which doesn’t really matter,” he told you. “It’s obviously great that you suffered no physical injuries but, clearly, it still affected you. So, stay here. Let me be—uh, let me bring you some tea.”

He looked like he wanted to ask you to let him be something else—a good rommate? A friend?—but reconsidered at the last moment.

After you didn’t respond, he left the room only to return a few moments later, a towel and a dark hoodie in his hands. He’d left you to change and only went back into the room once he had finished making the tea.

He closed the door of his room on his way back and, after placing the mug on the floor by the bed – the lack of furniture in your apartment would have been almost alarming if you didn’t constantly have bigger things on your mind – sat down next to you.

“Be honest now,” Jaebum said, his eyes full of genuine concern, “do I need to call an ambulance?”

“An—no,” you said, trying to sit up. “I’m fine.”

“I know you keep saying that but—”

“That’s because I am, really,” you said and then, after noticing that he still didn’t believe you, exhaled slowly before admitting, “I’m just shocked, I think. And worried about the car. I mean, the damage wasn’t horrible but it will take some time—and money—to get it fixed. Most of all, I guess, I’m just confused. I’ve been driving for years now and t-this was the first time that something like this happened. I rarely get distracted when I’m behind the w-wheel but the rain and t-the—”

“It could happen to anyone,” Jaebum said, catching your stuttering and quickly realizing that it was difficult for you to talk about it. He leaned down to pick the mug up and, after making sure it wasn’t too hot, he passed it to you. “You didn’t hurt anyone, did you? So, you shouldn’t blame yourself.”

“Well, no, but I could have,” you replied, taking the mug from him and ignoring the sparks of electricity that went through your body after your hand brushed against his. “I’m surprised I didn’t get fined for reckless driving. I should have. I don’t know what I was thinking. I’ve been out-of-it the whole day and I still didn’t think it was dangerous to get behind the wheel in that condition, on top of the horrible weather.”

Jaebum was biting his lip now. You didn’t know if he understood that last night’s kiss was partially the reason why you were so distracted the whole day today but you were more than ready to convince him that your accident wasn’t his fault. Sure, he’d kissed you and then left without an explanation, but it was your—deeper than you probably realized—feelings for him that had allowed the kiss to affect you this much.

“You could have called me,” Jaebum said then, tiny flickers of guilt hidden in his voice. He understood. “I would have taken you home. I have a car, too.”

It was as though both of you knew the reasons why you didn’t call him to take you home – not that you ever considered that as an option – and yet you successfully avoided talking about them out loud.

“Yeah,” you looked down at the mug in your hands. “I obviously don’t make great decisions in life. But, hey! Looking at the bright side, this is actually a very good excuse not to attend Jiho’s exhibition at my gallery tonight.”

“Oh, that’s right,” Jaebum nodded, remembering. “You weren’t going to attend anyway, though, were you?”

“Yeah, but anything I’d have said as an excuse would have sounded stupid,” you said. “And now I have an almost totaled car to prove I’ve got far more important things to deal with tonight.”

Jaebum considered this for a moment, his jaw tense.

“You’re planning to talk to him again?” he asked then.

You shook your head. “Not if I can help it.”

“Hmm,” he mumbled, choosing to change the topic before he asked something else that could have made him sound even more suspicious—or, for the lack of a better word, jealous—than he had already sounded. “I still think you should let a doctor take a look at you. Sometimes, you don’t even see the injuries at first but—”

“No, I’m really okay,” you said. “The collision wasn’t that bad, I’m just—I’ve never been in a situation like that before. It’s the shock. I’ll be fine when I calm down.”

“Okay,” he finally gave in, a sigh following. “Drink your tea.”

A small smile crept up your lips. “You’re very bossy.”

Jaebum smiled back at you, glad to hear the playful tone of your voice replace the shaky one he’d heard before. He waited until you’ve tasted the drink in your hands before replying.

“I am,” he didn’t deny it, “but you make it hard to be.”

“Well,” you replied, settling on humor as a coping mechanism, “I can’t always let you have your way.”

“No. You can’t,” he agreed. “But it’d be nice if you let me win once in a while.”

“I let you win plenty.”

Once again, Jaebum paused when he saw you raise the mug to your lips – as if he didn’t want to say anything in case you’d get distracted and refrain from drinking the tea he’d made – and only spoke again once you’ve taken a sip.

“I don’t know what you mean,” he said, enjoying the playful banter more than he would have ever cared to admit. “I can never win with you.”

“Okay, this sounds very accusing and I’m afraid you’re using my vulnerable state to blame me for things that aren’t true,” you said, your voice full of obvious mocking.

“I thought you said you were fine,” he pointed out, grinning.

You took a deep breath, suddenly turning serious.

“I wasn’t,” the confession left your lips in a whisper as you lifted your eyes from the mug in your hands to look at him, “but I think I am now.”

Once your tea was finished and you and Jaebum have gotten into three minor arguments about three different and very irrelevant things – that were all, undoubtedly, meant to distract you from the shock you’d experienced today – you felt the drowsiness kick in. It wasn’t very late yet but once the adrenaline you’d felt after the accident had passed, you realized just how tired you were.

After yawning for the third time in the past minute, Jaebum called you out on it.

“You should sleep,” he said, getting up from the bed to stretch. He’d been perched on the bed across from you, his eyes not leaving your face even for a second as if he’d been afraid you’d only showcase signs of a serious injury if he looked away. “You’ve had a long day.”

Nodding lazily, you let yourself watch him for a moment longer before speaking up.

“Thank you,” you said slowly. “I’m sorry I distracted you from whatever you were going to do today.”

“Oh, not at all,” he replied. “Believe it or not, my plans for today included looking after you.”

You would have laughed if you weren’t so tired, so you just smiled and shook your head.

“No, I mean it,” you insisted. “You didn’t have to do stay with me all this time but I really appreciate it.”

“Don’t make it sound like it’s been a torture for me to be here,” Jaebum said, sitting down on the bed again. “You’re not that bad of a company.”

“Not that bad,” you repeated. “I’ll take it.”

He laughed. “Yeah, I, uh, kind of prefer to hang out with you when you’re not all shaken up and I’m not all worried.”

You smiled again, throwing the blanket off of yourself and yawning again before setting your feet down on the floor. You wanted to stay and talk – more than anything – but you knew you’ve already stolen enough of his time today already. Taking care of someone who was experiencing aftershocks of an accident was bound to be as difficult as going through the shock yourself and you weren’t sure if you had enough energy to feel guilty right now.

“I think I’ll go to sleep now,” you told him.

“Okay,” Jaebum replied, a confused frown on his face. “Are you going to sleep standing up?”

You turned your head to look at him. “Uh… ideally, not. Why?”

“Well, then why are you getting out of bed?”

You looked down instinctively, not quite sure what he was asking you.

“Because this is your bed,” you said then, feeling awkward.

“And you really think I spent all this time making sure you were really okay only to let you out of my sight a few hours later?” Jaebum said. “Get back in bed. You��re sleeping here.”

Your heart – which had not rested for one bit today – was back at it with the rapid beating again. You were sure your ribcage was going to get permanent bruises from all the extra beats that Jaebum had given you ever since you moved in with him.

“I can’t,” you said weakly. “You’ve already done so much for me, I’ll just—”

“God, you really need me to say it loud and clear, don’t you?” he cut you off.

You blinked in surprise, wondering if the stress of the accident had affected your brain in more ways than you’d have suspected. “Say w-what?”

“I don’t mind taking care of you,” he said, speaking purposefully slowly. “And I want you to stay here with me tonight.”

The room was as quiet as it had been before your kiss last night. It was truly magnificent how few simple words from his lips could turn the volume of the whole world off for you and, similarly, it was almost impossible for you to imagine that the same few words – that were obviously very difficult for him to say; and yet he said them with an equal amount of confidence as vulnerability – would provide the reassurance for all of your lingerings doubts and create even more hope that you were now too tired to dismiss.

There was nothing wrong with being hopeful, you thought as you gave Jaebum a nod.

There was nothing wrong with not knowing exactly what the two of you were, you decided as you got back into bed.

There was nothing wrong with the feelings that had swollen in your chest and were threatening to spill out as you whispered, “okay. I’ll stay here.”

This wasn’t the first time you and him were going to sleep in the same bed together but this was the first time you’d both made the conscious decision to share a bed. And, after what had happened the night before, sleeping next to each other – with each other? – seemed like additional progress towards something you haven’t quite figured out yet. It was as though the two of you had voluntarily boarded the express train headed wherever and were both completely fine with whatever happened during your journey there even though you both knew that your actions right now, on this train, were going to influence what your final destination was going to be.

Last night’s kiss had seemed like a mere memory when you got home tonight but when, an hour later, you were still awake enough to feel Jaebum climb into bed with you, it was suddenly hanging heavy between your bodies like the metaphorical elephant in the room that both of you continued to pretend wasn’t there.

You would have considered pretending to have already fallen asleep if Jaebum hadn’t tentatively placed an arm around your waist. You inhaled sharply at the feeling of his hand on your skin and suddenly, he knew you were awake. He even considered retreating, not quite sure what to make of your reaction, but then he felt your fingertips gently come to rest on his arm as you kept it in place, enjoying the sense of security his touch had provided for you.

Jaebum wanted you to feel safe. Feeling bad about what you had to go through today, he wanted to do anything to make you feel better. A part of him suspected that the reason why you were so distracted the whole day was because he’d kissed you and then left with no explanation and, thinking that your accident was partially his fault, made him reconsider everything.

He may have not found it wrong to leave the kiss hanging in the air and never bring it up again unless it was absolutely necessary. Hell, he might have even wanted to move past it and never mention it again – but only briefly. Because now, more than anything, Jaebum wanted to kiss you. And, feeling his arms wrapped protectively around your waist as his heavy breaths calmed your tired mind down, you wanted him to kiss you, too.

But, with your last kiss still unresolved, neither of you moved. And resisting the magnetic pull between your bodies was almost as difficult as falling asleep when all you wanted to do was remain in the drowsy state between dreams and reality where Jaebum had his arms wrapped around you.

     chapter directory

[4jimin]

for you

pairing: jeon jungkook and park jimin; jikook genre: fluff, canon universe, inspired by jikook's cover of we don't talk anymore (lmao) a/n: hello, it's ur non au #1 enthusiast!! im here again bc, truly, how couldn't i when jikook can't stop spoiling the shit out of us lmao (we're so blessed) anyway special thanks to my baby angel meariie aka @c-cygnus for reading this beforehand and hyping the hell out of me, i lov u!! i hope y'all enjoy <3 summary: Jimin is insecure, but Jungkook is more than willing to convince the boy to record a cover with him. crossposted on ao3

“Jungkook, no. I already said I'm going to do a dance cover! Jesus…” Jimin emphasizes for probably the 10th time. Not that it was anyhow useful, Jeon Jungkook had practice on being the embodiment of stubbornness after living years with six guys way too soft for him.

“Hyung, please, I'm begging you!” The younger pulls out his best shinning (read: imploring) eyes, because he knows how to play dirty. However, Jimin doesn’t spare him a glance. He is aware of how big of a traitor his heart is – he has experienced one too many times in which a quick look at Jungkook's stupidly adorable face made him crumble instantly. 

“No.” he repeats, turning away and focusing harder on his phone's screen. As if it'd be that easy.

Jungkook clings on his arm, pulling him closer and burying his face on the back of his neck. Jimin takes a moment to close his eyes and breath as deeply as he can, his stomach already showing the symptoms of Jeon Jungkook's virus on his system.

“But hyung…” he whines.

“Jungkook-ah, please.” Jimin turns around, holding the boy's shoulder so he can't look away. He might give in, if he does. “I don’t want to.”

Jungkook stares at him, before taking a step back away from his hold – a hurt frown starting to mold on his features.

“Why not?” he asks, genuinely confused and Jimin wants nothing more than to punch himself on the face, because he knows how the younger is going to react if he shares the real reason with him – and he is so not on the mood for drama and psychological advice on self steem.

“I just don’t.” he lies and swifts his gaze, Jungkook's eyes piercing through him and making his throat kind of tighten in a way he doesn’t really enjoy. “Ask Tae or Jin-hyung, I'm sure they'll be happy to help.”

Jimin waits for a response, but when the only thing welcoming him is the deafening silence of the hotel room, he spins on his heels prepared to leave, bitting back the disappointment tasting bitter on his tongue.

“Why can’t you understand?!” Jungkook snorts in frustration behind him. When Jimin looks back, the boy has a hand holding onto his bangs and parted lips seeming to try and find the right words to say what he desires to. Their eyes cross and Jungkook's hand fall by his side, cheeks flushing. “I want to do it with you.”

Jimin almost doesn’t hear the end of the setence above the loud stomping of his heart resounding on his ears. He can feel all the blood rushing out of his face, even though he is sure his heart is doing a pretty good job pumping it into his veins.

How is he supposed to say no to that? It's so fucking unfair he wants to shove his face onto a pillow and scream.

“Please?” Jungkook silently begs, intensely staring back at him. Jimin breaks the visual contact before his cardiac pace drives him to explosion.

“My voice sucks.” He finally lets out, gulping down the lump on his throat. “And so does my english. It's going to be ridiculous, everyone’s going to laugh at me.”

Jimin doesn’t find the courage to look Jungkook in the eyes – not even when he scoots closer and grabs his shoulder with one hand, the other being given the task of carefully holding his chin and moving his face until it's right in front of Jungkook's.

“Look at me…” the younger pleads when Jimin still refuses to interlock their gazes, bitting on his bottom lip slightly and staring at Jungkook’s cheek. Jungkook uses his thumb to caress the skin in the front part of his chin, the edge of his finger faintly reaching the flesh of Jimin's mouth. However, the boy is still reluctant to look back at him, something between embarrassment and self humiliation catching him in the middle of a internal fight he tries to avoid every single day. So he closes his eyes instead, solemnly focusing on Jungkook's tender touch and trying to stop the twisting of his stomach from caging his breath into his lungs.

It shows to be an impossible mission, when the next thing Jimin feels is Jungkook's lips pressed against his cheek, which instantly burn at the touch. He frowns, ready to ask what in the world is he doing, but Jungkook also kisses the frown away from his forehead and it's being kind of pretty hard for Jimin not to melt. His chest is rosing up and down lightly and as soon as Jungkook's soft mouth reachs the bridge of his nose, Jimin has already forgotten every single worry in the back of his mind.

He only acknowledge his hands clutching Jungkook's t-shirt, when the younger's lips brushes over a sensitive spot on his jawline and he pulls him closer by tugging at the cloth. He feels Jungkook giggling and his cheeks heat up so hard they tingle warmly. The air around him is simultaneously hot and cold, and it makes his nape hair bristle just the slightest.

“How can you say that…” Jungkook's voice finally surges in between the kisses he places over Jimin's eyes. Both of them pretend there's not insanely racing hearts inside their chests trying to knock down their ribcages to reach one another. “I feel so offended right now.” Jungkook pulls back and Jimin somehow finds the strength to open his eyes. “How dare you insult my favorite voice in the world?”

Jimin has to try really hard to keep on standing, since it seems his legs decided to retire from their labor of being legs and are currently trying a part-time job on being jelly.

“Liar.” His voice fails and he hates it. Hates how weak and exposed Jungkook is able to make him feel in a flashing light.

“You're the only liar here.” The younger mutters, sliding his hand to the back of Jimin's neck so he can run his fingers through the smaller's hair. They stare at each other for what it seems to be an eternity, but it's really just a few seconds. “Sing with me.” Jungkook breaths out, and it's only when he realizes how close they actually are. It makes him feel funny inside. It's nerve-wrackingly funny – the way it seems his stomach is playing drum against his belly. “Please, sing with me.” He repeats lower, and hopes Jimin can’t feel how desperate he is to kick short that annoying distance between them.

Yet, it isn’t him who is taking a step forward and gluing their chests together. He tries to remain calm, tries to hold onto the last string of self control he possesses – although, it's not like Jimin is making it any easier for him.

“Why?” the older whispers and Jungkook almost laughs. The audacity of the little shit.

But he doesn’t. He doesn’t, because he is too busy having a cerebral short circuit at the feeling of the tip of Jimin's nose brushing against his. At the scent of Jimin's sweet perfurme curling around his lungs.

“Because I love your voice.” He is quick to answer, and he almost startles at how rough his voice become. “And…” Jungkook presses his fingers on Jimin's nape nervously and gulps down the actual words he wants to say that are scratching at his throat. “Because I don't want to do it with anyone else.” He hopes it's enough.

Jimin smiles – the sweetest smile Jungkook has ever seen landing on those lips and his heart tugs and hurts.

The smaller boy represses his smile, pursing his lips and narrowing his eyes, looking to the side as he pretends to think hard. It's the cutest thing in the whole world.

“With one condition.” He shows his index finger in front of Jungkook's face before holding on his tshirt again.

Jungkook chuckles, and it sounds so stupidly in love he could be embarrassed if he wasn't, well, stupidly in love.

“And what is that?”

Jimin's smile slowly fades in tune with the reddening of his cheeks.

“Kiss me.” He whispers in the quiet.

And then it seems as if the longest silence settles in between them, hanging in their bated breaths and crawling inside their lungs with freezing fingers. Jungkook stares down at Jimin with mild shock in the surface of his eyes and a slightly gaping mouth, which has Jimin wanting to turn around and run all the way back to his room. He instantly regrets the words and his fingers twitch around the white t-shirt's fabric in nervousness. He opens his mouth to manage out an apology, but is stopped when Jungkook abruptly slides his hands to both sides of his face and catches his bottom lip into his mouth, pressing their lips so hard Jimin has to step backwards two times to keep his balance.

He moans in surprise, grabbing at Jungkook's waist and squeezing the flesh under his fingers in need to feel it's truly real. The younger parts his mouth and swipes his tongue over Jimin's lip, smiling as the other instantly gives in; as he melts over the way Jungkook firmly holds onto his neck and scratches his nails at the base of his nape.

It's insane, how Jimin manages to overwhelm him with a simple kiss, how Jungkook feels so fucking driven to the edge with a mere touch. But he's long past the phase when these questions insistently hovered his mind and held him back from giving in, scared he'd fall too deeply.

Because, truly, how naive of him to ever think there was a way he couldn’t mercilessly fall for Park Jimin.