#i truly don't know why i keep talking as if i were in my 50s when i'm only 20 something

[billthedrake]

WINGMAN

I generally had a clean lifestyle, at least lately, but it was Mike Gelson's bachelor party, and we five dudes were partying it up in Nashville. I may have been doing my goody two-shoes Brendan Peters thing and getting club soda every few rounds, but my tolerance was down and I was getting good and truly wasted.

My best buddy James Carducci noticed, too. Like me, he was a big guy, a former tight end who carried a lot of muscle on his 6'5" frame, but unlike me he could hold his liquor.

"You gonna get laid tonight, Peters?" he growled in my ear as we entered the room we were sharing. "It's fun to see you let your hair down."

I gave him a scowl but knew he was just ribbing me. It's what buddies did. "Why can't we have the bachelor party in New York or something?"

Carducci knew what I meant. He plopped on one of the beds, his big frame taking up most of the double bed mattress. "Bro, you could have all the gay dudes around you and you'd still be too fuckin' picky."

I lay down on the other bed, looking over at my best friend. We'd both moved to the same city after graduation. Coming out had been a big messy process for me, and James had been the most supportive of my college friends. He was enthusiastically bisexual - not advertising it or anything, but we quickly realized we could switch from teammate-buddies to guy talk and back.

Still, we were opposites in a lot of ways. "Dude... it's easy for you. You just want to get your dick wet."

We'd had versions of this conversation before. He grinned. "Bro, maybe you should get your dick wet for a change. It'd keep you from being a cranky bitch." Yeah, Carducci could get away saying stuff to me no one else could. Then turning his meaty body on his side, he looked right at me. "I get it, Peters. But maybe while you wait for Mr. Right, you can have some fun. I mean, Kevin Murphy's not gonna suck your cock."

"What the fuck?!" I played dumb. Kevin had been the kicker on our D1 team and was Mike Gelson's best man. He was my type to a T... shorter than me and leaner, boy-next-door cute, tight body and a bubble ass.

James lay back again and put his arms around his back, arms knotted and pumped. If I was into big dudes like myself, there might be sexual tension between us. "Bro, it's all over your face. Remember, I know your fuckin' type."

"C'mon, JC," I pleaded, using my nickname for him.

He grinned. "Don't worry, Peters, I'm not gonna say anything to anyone. You know that. Crush out on Murphy all you want. You're just barking up the wrong tree."

"Yeah," I sighed. "It's majorly against the bro code." I was starting to get resentful of how being a horny gay dude and an ex-jock living by the bro code were not exactly compatible.

That got a deep laugh from JC. "So's fucking your buddy's dad."

I sat up, the alcohol and quick movement making my head dizzy. "What?!?!" Normally I'd write off the comment as Carducci being a jokester but the way his words came out made them seem real.

He now sat up and reached down to paw at his crotch to rearrange his junk. "This stays between us," he warned.

"Scouts honor, man," I replied.

My friend got a wild look on his face and a leer as he said, "I banged Gelson's dad."

"Mike Gelson," I clarified. "The fucking groom."

He seemed annoyed. "What other Gelsons do you know, dumbass? Yeah, Mike Gelson's father. It was a couple of years ago, when Mike invited a couple of us to his family's lake house." James was closer to Gelson than I was, which only made what he was describing seme more transgressive.

"Dude, isn't Mr. Gelson like 45?" I'd briefly met the man once but he didn't make too much an impression on me, I guess.

Carducci leered. "He was 50 then, and it was fucking glorious. A whole week, both of us enjoying sneaking around." I knew JC had a bit of a kink for married men. We didn't overshare, but I'd very occasionally hear about a hookup or, more often, I'd unload about a date that didn't go like I wanted.

I had to rib him now. "What, you going for the daddies now, JC?"

Without missing a beat, he looked at me with his brown eyes. "Abso-fucking-lutely, Peters. Exclusively even. You should try an older dude for a change."

I didn't think I was easily shocked but the turn of the conversation had indeed rattled me. I went silent before I said quietly, "Man, I couldn't date a guy my dad's age. What the fuck?"

He laughed. "Dude, who's talking about dating? You're a hot fucking dude, you should be having sex nonstop... " He paused. "Can I be honest, bro?"

I nodded, bracing myself for the barrage of criticism. But this was Carducci, I knew he was looking after me.

"Well," James started. "You always go for the unavailable ones like Murphy, or for the stuck up ones who think they're the shit for having an Insta following." For all of our odd-couple conversations, Carducci had never spelled it out for me quite like this. But he was totally right. "I dunno, maybe you should go outside your type just to see. There are so many daddies out there who'd be so fucking appreciative to make it with a guy like you.... You could use the ego boost, bro."

I thought it over. "Is that what older guys are to you?" I asked. "An ego boost?"

He shook his head. "Nah. I have a pretty massive ego already, bro, I don't need help with that. I just love sex with an older guy." I watched as he pulled a spare pillow down to cover his crotch. I knew why: Carducci was boning up talking about sex, and while we shared a lot there still was the bro code between us. "Some of em have a wild side, like a drunk sorority chick."

I shook my head. "Jesus, JC."

I knew the alcohol was getting us both to open up to this conversation. "It's not like that, Peters. I mean, you know you're with a dude, a real masculine dude at that. But there's that wild, naughty streak beneath the surface. I fucking love it."

He reached over and picked up his phone.

"What? Are you gonna show me a picture of one of your conquests?" I asked.

He looked up and winked. "Perv. No, bro, I'm lining up a blowjob. There's gotta be a horny daddy staying in this hotel."

I blushed. "You serious?"

"Sure, I'm serious," he said, now not taking his eyes off the app as he scrolled through. "Jesus you can be such a fucking prude."

I lay back, feeling insulted but mostly angry that he was right. I'd set up a Grindr profile and used it some but then swore it off over the last year. "Well, you're not bringing him back here," I said.

JC now looked up. "Like I said. Cranky bitch." There was teasing sure, but I think I'd actually pissed off my buddy. I almost apologized but I was stubborn.

Anyway, he was now getting off the bed and putting his shoes back on.

"Already?" I asked with astonishment. JC hadn't been on that app much longer than five minutes.

He laughed. "What can I say, bro?" He smiled. "Daddy wants this..." he used his hand to gesture to his tall muscular body. "I'm in Nashville, I'm gonna have a little fucking fun." He had his phone and key card and seemed good to go. "You should too, Peters. For real."

I didn't say anything but I gave a look that was my attempt at an "I'll think about it."

And like that, I watched my best friend leave our room.

***

The lamplight was still on when I woke up. I'd conked out in my drunkenness. I was massively hungover but I always wake up pretty quickly. Light was coming in and the clock said a little after 8.

Carducci's bed was still made and still empty. The fucker.

I got up and pissed and popped a couple of aspirin, hoping they'd help. My head pounded. And we still had another night of this fucking bachelor party weekend. I wondered if these dudes would want to come to mine when the time came. Hell, I wondered if I'd have one.

I brushed my teeth to get the stale beer taste out of my mouth. My hair was mussed up and I did my best to comb it down.

Fifteen minutes later, after a trip to the lobby to get some coffee, I was feeling more alive. Hungover still, but better. I didn't feel like eating anything, but the aspirin was helping.

I picked up my phone. I'd uninstalled Grindr but it was easy enough to re-install it. It took me a second to remember my login, but I used one of my common passwords. One of these days, I'd need to choose something more secure for my shit.

There were some hot guys in Nashville, but I'd gotten spoiled by the city I lived in now. There was a certain type I was seeing here - either bigger, beefier guys, or else younger thinner twinks. My type was always in between that. I wanted more Dierks Bentley and was seeing a lot more Garth Brooks types, even among the 20-somethings.

I'd been replaying my conversation with JC in my head. He could bust my balls, and maybe in a way I didn't like. But I told myself, I'd give this a try. I changed my profile language to make it less picky and judgmental and adjusted my looking-for age range.

It was early and I didn't see any hits in this hotel, but there was a good looking older guy in the hotel on the next block. Kind of average looking, balding hair, 49yo, but his pics showed off a very fit body, lightly hairy, probably trimmed. Looking for now. If I had to make it with an older dude, this was probably as good a match as any. I'd focus on his body if need be.

"Hey," I typed in a chat. "You're up early."

"Hi man." Then. "This is early?"

"In Nashville it is," I replied back.

"True, ha."

I was never great with the quick hookup thing, but one thing I'd mastered was the art of messaging. Some guys were too direct, not flirty enough, but some guys were too passive and conversational. My style didn't work with everyone, but it was working now, I knew.

"What brings you here?" I asked.

"Business. I thought I'd tack on an extra day for fun. And you?"

"Bachelor party."

"Of course, ha." Then, he added. "You're quite the hunk."

"Thanks man," I typed. "You're hot, too." I wasn't sure how much I thought that. It's not that he wasn't hot, because he was in a way. But in my fucked up way, I knew he wasn't Brendan Peters-worthy hot. Not in my league. But I tried to embrace the Carducci way. "You say you bottom, right?" His profile had read vers-bottom.

"Yep. You wanting to fuck?"

After my conversation with JC, I'd initially been thinking of a blowjob. Baby steps. Something to take the edge off. But now I realized it had been WAY too long since I'd fucked a guy. "God yeah. You able to host?"

"If you can give me fifteen minutes."

I pawed my crotch now. I was getting boned good. "Make it twenty?" I wanted to shower up.

"Sounds good, man."

***

The profile had sold the guy short. He didn't look hotter than his pictures but as he ushered me in, he had a deep sexy voice. Almost gravely, with a New York accent. He had a towel wrapped around his waist and I could see how dense his muscle was on a frame that was about 6 inches shorter than mine.

"Looks like I hit the jackpot, huh?" he smiled. Then as his eyes swept up to my face, he added, "Don't worry, I'm not gonna gush. You know you're smoking hot."

OK, maybe JC was right, I could get used to the ego pump. With a grin I stepped up to the guy and wrapped my arms around his naked torso, drawing him in.

"I wasn't sure..." he started to say in his deep voice befor I cut him off with a kiss.

He was a good kisser. This was a hookup, just a hookup, and our making out wasn't romantic, but I really enjoyed this part of sex, and this man knew how to respond to my groove. His hands felt up my chest as he did his best to match my tongue work.

Maybe it had been so long since I'd had sex, but the feel of his bare skin and hard back muscle under my fingers had me rock hard. This guy wasn't my type, but he was masculine and real and he wanted me. I pulled off his towel and broke the kiss so I could reach down and paw at his thick ass. It wasn't a young bubble ass, it wasn't Kevin Murphy's kicker's ass, but this man went to the gym regularly and had for years.

"Yess.." he hissed.

I kneaded his ass for a minute longer then stepped back, in full ready to fuck mode. As I reached down and started undoing my shorts and kicking off my shoes, my trick looked at me with horny anticipation, his daddy dick hard and leaking, a solid six-incher that stood out from his trimmed but hairy crotch.

"I guess we didn't talk about specifics," he said, stepping back to the bed. "You a missionary or doggy position kind of guy?"

God, this was 180 degrees from my normal Grindr experience. I always met freaks who'd get real porny and weird, or I met guys who were bossy about their needs. This man had a fun laid-back vibe, even as we were getting to brass tacks.

Usually my answer would be missionary. "Doggy," I leered, letting my thick long cock fall out as I pushed my underwear down.

"Fuck," the daddy hissed. "You didn't exaggerate the measurements. Take it a little easy at first, then I'm good to go." I watched as he got onto the bed, on all fours. It was clearly the body of a man in his late 40s, but I was going to enjoy it all the same.

I got up on after him, letting the mattress sink with my weight. I'd hit almost 240 in college ball, and while I'd leaned down a little since then, I still was 230 pounds of tall muscle.

I remember one time I'd started eating out some model looking guy I'd hooked up with and he about freaked out, telling me he wasn't into getting rim. But as I kissed along this man's lightly furred ass cheeks, one side then the other, he spread his legs in an unmistakeable green light. I dove in and licked.

Fuck, this daddy loved it. I thought about what JC said. Masculine dudes with that drunk sorority chick worthy wild streak. He was some regular guy on business, and he was enjoying me eating him out and munching wildly at his clean pucker.

"Holy fuck, dude!" he growled, the deep voice making his words seem more sexual. "Eat my fucking hole."

I did. I wasn't even expecting an extended rim session for this. I almost thought it would be a pump and go, but I now rode the experience, gripping his cheeks, pulling them apart and tongue fucking this man who indeed was old enough to be my father.

I could have kept at it, too, but I needed to fuck. I leaned up, wiped off the spit from my chin and reached down to wet my cock.

"There's lube and condoms," he said, nodding to the night stand. "I'm on PREP so do what you want, man." Again, that deep voice had my balls twitching.

I slathered on some lube and lined up my bare prick. Daddy was gonna get raw dogged. I gave a two-mississippi pause then pushed to enter him.

There was some snugness at the ring but otherwise no real resistance. I popped in, making the man grunt a little, but he braced his upper body, took a deep breath, then nodded. I pushed my way all the way in, deep into his hot tightness. I forgot how amazing a good fuck felt. Bottoming out, I gripped his waist and began a slow pump.

"Jesus, you're a big boy," he grunted, excitement in his voice.

"6-four," I teased, now fucking him with firmer strokes.

"I meant your cock," the daddy said.

"I know," I hissed. "You're taking that big dick."

"Christ, man," he replied. "Fuck me! Fuck me big guy!"

I did. Getting more and more into it. I was enjoying this position of holding his waist and using that leverage to pull his leaner muscular build onto my hard pistoning cock as much as I was pushing into him. But as I got more excited and more into the mounting pleasure, I felt a need for something more animalistic. Leaning forward, I covered his back with my muscular chest and torso and just started hammering him with hard short strokes.

"Oh fuck oh fuck," he hissed. Loving it, but feeling the challenge of taking me that way, given my strength.

It wouldn't take long though. I now supported my weight with one arm while the other one wrapped around him, pulling his hard body next to mine for maximum contact and steady penetration.

He too was braced on one hand now while the jerked off to my inward strokes.

He came a second before me, but it was a photo finish. I let out a deep heavy growl and enjoyed the most amazing orgasm I'd had in a LONG time.

He finally withdrew his hand and let my weight push him down into a flat lying position.

"Am I too heavy?" I asked as I kissed his neck softly. I didn't want to pull out just yet, the aftershocks felt pretty amazing.

"I'm good," came that deep voice. "I like it, actually."

I kissed him more, along his neck. It's a weird thing of mine. Some guys lose interest after getting their nut, but I get in a real romantic headspace after cumming. It's freaked some men out.

Daddy picked up on it. "I thought you'd be a fuck and go kind of guy," he said with a soft laugh.

"Sorry," I said, pushing myself up off him some.

"Don't apologize, it's nice."

I ran my hand along the man's arm. Strong, not as big as mine, but there's something about an older man that meant more seasoned muscle. "I know this is just a hookup," I said. "I just like talking with a guy I have sex with. I'm weird, I guess."

He got quiet, but his reply felt calm and measured. "We can grab brunch if you like. I can learn more about the guy who just gave me the fuck of my life."

"Yeah," I said.

Now as we uncoupled and rinsed off in the bathroom before getting dressed again, I was having second doubts, and maybe I was leading him on too much. I absolutely didn't want anything serious with this guy. After today, I'd probably half forget him. This was just my hormones talking.

He seemed to read me. "You OK, man?"

I nodded. "Yeah."

He gave me an empathetic look. "Don't worry, I know I'm just a piece of tail to you. But I'm starving... why don't we get a bite and then you can get back to your bachelor party duties?"

I smiled. "Sounds good," I said. I stepped up and kissed him, softly. Wrapping my arms around his waist and enjoying the height difference.

"My name's Curt," he said.

"Brendan," I said.

[igotanidea]

All I want (for Christmas): Jason Todd x reader

Christmas bingo day 22: movies

She hated Christmas movies.

Yes, I know what you're probably thinking right now, but come on. Even the Romans used to say : de gustibus non est disputandum.

So let the girl live a little.

It's Christmas time after all.

We all could use a little niceness.

And while on the topic.

When whole world seemed to be consumed by the last preparations, buying emergency gifts and standing in grocery stores to acquire the suddenly missing product, Jason and y/n were cuddling on the couch debating what to watch and browsing Netflix hoping for something that would satisfy the tastes of them both.

They subconsciously refused to take part in all that rush and crossing things from the "to-do" list. It was exhausting to just do something because "everyone does that" and because "it's tradition". As if the Christmas didn't come because the windows weren't cleaned or the furniture weren't dusted.

Maybe it was cliché but for those two holiday meant spending time together and truly being close. From the beginning, not only after all the tasks were completed.

"Hey Jace?" She hummed softly

"Hm?" He muttered back, not moving his head from her lap but welcoming the feeling of her fingers running through his hair, nuzzling into his girlfriend a bit more.

"You know I love you right?"

In any other circumstances he would probably swoon at those words and his heart would just swell. Which obviously happened now as well, but Jason knew better than to fall for her tactics.

"Are you trying to sweet talk me so I can let you pick the movie princess?"

"What? No!" She scoffed "who do you take me for Todd?"

"A vixen" he smirked sitting up and suddenly pecking her lips enjoying the cute surprised expression on her face. Jason was rarely this affectionate so her reaction was obvious.

"Hey! Tease!"

"Oh am I now?" He smirked grabbing the pilot from her and keeping it out of her reach taking a peek of what she was going to choose. "Please don't tell me you wanted to put me to such torture..."

"Torture, huh. Torture my ass. This is a history based story about-"

"Queen Charlotte."

"Yes queen Charlotte. But it's not a romance movie, it's more like -. Why are you looking at me like that? Jason? Jason why are you--?"

Oh his devilish grin was not for nothing when he just grabbed her, wrapped arms around her and almost pinned her to the couch, settling against her and putting on the show.

She wanted the Bridgerton story so Bridgerton story she'll get. He didn't need much more convincing than that. Besides, it was on his recommendation lists as well.

***

They were at the wedding scene when something hit him and his grip on y/n tightened. Not that she noticed too involved in the plot, her eyes fixes on the screen, sparkling and a little glassy. Jason could only watch her and wonder what thoughts were running through her head.

And he felt safe. Like she was the one, the only one.

One in the million.

One in the widest dreams.

One with the halo.

One he wanted for Christmas (in the next 50 or so years)

Suddenly all the love songs made sense.

"Move in with me" he whispered kissing her shoulder softly.

She almost choked.

She must have misheard something, right? Must have been her imagination, there was no way her- well, yes, boyfriend, but still- would say that. Last time she checked he was still afraid of full commitment and all the stuff that came with 24/7 relationship and living together.

Scared of being seen in the most vulnerable moments and shielding her from that.

This words really couldn't have left his mouth and she was pretty sure she just created them in her own head.

So she ignored it at first focusing all her attention on the movie.

And he didn't like it.

"Y/n"

"Yeah, hm, what is it?"

"Move in with me" he repeated this time a bit louder to avoid any pretending she didn't hear.

"Why?" She whispered too stunned and emotional to answer right away.

"Isn't that what you wanted?" He shifted positions to look at her.

"Me? Jason babe, you don't need to please me at your expense...."

" Is that what you think I'm doing?" He grabbed her face in his hands, eyeing her pleadingly "do you think it's some sort of sacrifice for me?"

"No I -"

"Shut up. Just shut up. It's all your fault. You did it to me "

"Did what?" Her eyes widened at the words, the movie long forgotten. " What did I do?"

"You made me need you." He whined like a hurt animal pulling her on top of him "you made me love you, depend on you..."

"Jace...."

"Don't push me away."

"I'm not pushing you away. I could never -"

"You didn't answer me when I asked you to move in"

"I'm just -" she cut off unsure of how she felt. happy? Surprised? Excited? Nervous? Worried about the future? Longing to have a little nest with him?

"It's okay, just forget I said anything" he muttered looking at the ceiling.

"No, wait, hey please don't be mad..." She stuttered, panicking a little. It was impossible how after all this time they fell victim to miscommunication.

"I'm not mad -"

"Yes!"

"Yes? Yes what?" He lift himself bringing her with him holding her waist and looking into her eyes.

"I want to move in with you. I will move in with you"

"You will?! Really?! Really?!"

"Yes. Yes, really."

If she knew that he would react this emotionally, almost crushing her by pulling close and locking in his embrace she would probably -

Nah...

Scratch that.

There was nothing she would do differently.

So it has been settled.

She was going to be full-time part of his life.

[illdowhatiwantthanks]

Reading "changes" kinda make me want to request a fic when reader and Casey were in their 50s or 60s and talking about the silly little things they used to do when they were younger when they went for a little trip out of country for retirement or something.

Getting Older, Too

Casey Novak x fem!reader Warnings: explicit language, getting older, changes in ability (let me know if I've missed anything!) Word count: 1.5k

Summary: You and Casey, now retired, are vacationing in Jasper National Park, but you find that your bodies aren't quite as capable as they used to be.

NOTE: For any who don't know, Jasper National Park has just experienced a devastating wildfire. I went hiking in Jasper in 2022, and it's truly one of the most beautiful places I've ever been, so I wanted to pay tribute here.

You shivered against the morning chill as you looked out over the Athabasca River, a light fog coming off of it, pinpricked by early morning sun. Decades later, and you still couldn’t manage to sleep in like Casey did, even on vacation. It was colder here in Jasper National Park than you’d expected, though it often warmed considerably by midday.

You groaned as you lowered yourself into an Adirondack chair, wishing you’d brought more than a sweatshirt to keep warm out here. But you didn’t want to go in and wake up Casey, either. She would never admit it, but she tired more easily than you these days. She was, after all, almost ten years older than you. And neither of you were spring chickens. She’d retired last year, finally, but still freelanced on the side. But one of the perks of both of you being in retirement was that there were now no limits to your vacations. You’d already spent two weeks in Banff and had decided to extend your trip into Jasper and drive the Icefields Parkway.

But Casey was tired, bone tired, you could tell. You’d gotten some good hikes in, but she’d pushed herself too far yesterday. She’d insisted you go to all six bridges along the Maligne Canyon loop, even though the sixth bridge added a solid 2.5 miles round trip. You’d made it, but you’d both been exhausted by the end, and Casey had conked out in bed before you even had dinner and had been asleep ever since.

You shook your head and smiled to yourself thinking about her. Fiery, stubborn Casey. Just as hard-headed as she’d been when you met her playing rec league softball 29 years ago. Her hair was gray now instead of red, but just as pretty, as you told her again and again. It wasn’t that she’d softened over the years exactly. She’d still fight someone if the situation called for it; it was that she’d grown more accustomed to laughter and joy, that she let herself now, sometimes, expect the best instead of the worst. She gave herself time to rest and savor and appreciate things.

You wrapped your arms around yourself, breathing deeply to inhale the scent of the pine trees. It really was cold out here. You thought about going to the property’s restaurant for a cup of coffee instead as an alternative to waking Casey with the noisy drip machine in your chalet. But then you’d have to purchase the all-inclusive breakfast and damned if you were going to spend $25 to get a cup of coffee and a croissant.

“You’re up early,” Casey observed, coming into view, her voice still rough with sleep.

“No, you’re up early,” you argued, smiling softly at her. “I’m always up at this time.”

“Here, take this,” she said, handing you a steaming mug of coffee.

“God, I love you.”

“Wait! This one too.” Casey handed you another cup of coffee and you looked at her, confused. “Now lift your arms up.”

“Why?” you asked, but obliged, trying not to spill from either coffee mug.

She grabbed a blanket from over her shoulder and tucked it around you so that only your head and arms peeked out, then settled herself in the chair next to yours with her own blanket.

“Okay,” she said, getting comfortable, holding out her hand for her coffee.

You beamed at her. “You really are the love of my life, you know that?”

She sipped from her mug and patted your hand. “It’s been thirty years, honey. I should hope so.”

She groaned a bit in her seat, wincing as she shifted her weight.

“You alright?” you asked. When she didn’t answer, you raised your eyebrows and leaned toward her. “Hmm… you know, one might think that maybe, just maybe, you overdid it yesterday? Even though your beautiful, smart wife said during the hike, ‘Casey, my love, you seem tired. Maybe we shouldn’t do all six bridges.’”

Casey shot you an amused glare. “You know, it’s incredible that my beautiful, smart wife, after thirty years in New York, still can’t dress appropriately for the weather and would, likely, freeze to death without me.”

“Touché.” You shrugged.

You sat in silence for a few minutes, sipping your coffee, enjoying the early morning sun and the quiet and the gurgling of the river below you.

You took Casey’s free hand and ran your thumb in circles over the wrinkles there. She’d been so self-conscious of them when they started to show, but you told her they were beautiful, like the rings of a tree trunk. They showed her growth and what she’d been through, and you loved them.

“Are you really okay, though?” you ventured.

She shrugged. “I’m pretty sore, but I’ll be alright.”

“We don’t have to hike today. We could just take it easy.”

Casey shook her head. “I don’t want to miss it. We only have so much time here, you know? When in Rome… or Jasper, I guess.”

“Hey,” you said, struggling against the chair so you could sit up and place your hand on Casey’s cheek. “The trails will still be there tomorrow. If your body needs to rest, we should rest. I’m sore, too. I’m not gonna be mad about a day lounging around in the mountains with you.”

Casey still didn’t look convinced.

“We could go to the hot springs, we haven’t been there yet. Or to that fancy hotel spa and get massages…” you suggested.

Casey scoffed. “You hate massages.”

“I do, but you’re sore, so…”

Casey sighed, taking another sip of coffee and squeezing your hand. “I just don’t want to hold you back, honey,” she said quietly.

“Are you kidding me!?” You gestured toward the mountains in front of you, the river, the forest. “Casey, if it wasn’t for you, I wouldn’t even be here. I’d be too scared to go alone. You don’t hold me back, love. You move me forward.”

Casey looked like she might cry. “I hate getting old sometimes,” she muttered.

You wished so badly that Casey could see herself the way you did–strong and capable and brave and full of life. Yes, it was hard to grow old. Yes, it was frustrating that your body–and hers–could no longer do all the things they’d done before. But it had been in exchange for a life truly worth living–and you were still living it!

“Do you remember our first hike together?” you asked her, trying to lighten her mood. “When we went camping in the Catskills with your parents?”

She cracked a smile. “Yeah. God, you were so scared.”

You’d happily be the butt of the joke this morning to get Casey out of her head. “Okay,” you protested playfully. “Well, in my defense, we did get lost.”

Casey’s eyes lit up, the way they always did before she laughed. “We weren’t lost. I took us on an alternate route.”

“An alternate route!?” You’d had this argument so many times that it was like reading a script, like watching a favorite comedy over and over again or the well-worn pages of a favorite book. “To the side of the highway where we had to call an Uber to take us back to the campsite?”

She chuckled and shrugged. “I got us back, didn’t I!?”

“God!” you exclaimed, feigning frustration even as you grinned ear to ear, even you as you held her face in your hands. “You were such a stubborn asshole. You’re still a stubborn asshole.” You sighed, rubbing your thumb over her dimpled cheek. “Look, today’s hike was gonna be at Maligne Lake, right?”

She nodded, sadness briefly overtaking her face again.

“I’m pretty sure they have a boat tour,” you continued. “Why don’t we do that instead?”

Casey looked like she was ready to fight you on it, so you leaned forward and kissed her, in love with the little noise of surprise she made, as if it was your first kiss again and not your ten thousandth.

“Please?” you needled as you broke apart, giving her your most convincing smile and biggest eyes. “For me?”

Even before she kissed you again, you could tell you’d won her over. She patted your cheek. “For you. Not for me,” she insisted, holding onto your hand as she sipped her coffee.

You smiled and held your coffee close to your chest. So stubborn, your wife. Stubborn and passionate and beautiful and funny and everything you’d wanted in a partner and more. You’d spent almost thirty years of your life–a full half of it–with Casey. You knew she was struggling with getting older, and you knew there’d come a time when you’d struggle, too. But right now, you were just excited. Excited for whatever future you had left, the years of uninterrupted joy and travel and fun. The big moments and the little moments together. It could only get better from here and, god, it was already so good.

“I love you, Case,” you whispered, your voice breaking through the quiet sounds of nature that surrounded you.

She lifted your hand and brought it to her lips, and no words were needed.

[likeahorribledream]

new guy

» CHAPTER TEN: A LITTLE GUIDANCE

CHAPTER NINE

SUMMARY: WHAT LIES AHEAD FOR YOU AND RANSOM?

PAIRING: Ransom x Reader

WORD COUNT: 5.0K

WARNINGS: Fluff, angst. New Girl AU.

REQUEST: Librarian!Reader, she’s shy and insecure about her appearance.

18+. Minors DNI.

ᴍᴀɪɴ ᴍᴀꜱᴛᴇʀʟɪꜱᴛ

𝚂𝙴𝚁𝙸𝙴𝚂 𝙼𝙰𝚂𝚃𝙴𝚁𝙻𝙸𝚂𝚃

As soon as the door slams shut Theo and Chase come out of his room, looking around to see if the coast is clear.

"How bad do you think it is?" Theo asks.

"Pretty bad." Chase sighs. "I'm gonna go check up on her." He stops in front of your door and knocks softly. "It's me, princess. Can I come in?" 

You poke your head out from under the covers long enough to tell him to come in and disappear under them again right after. 

"Are you ok?" Your best friend asks as he closes the door behind him and walks over to your bed. 

"No. I'm not." Your voice breaks as more tears rush out of you. 

"What happened?" He sits on the edge of your bed and pushes back the covers to let you breathe. 

"I don't want to talk about it." You keep your back to him, curling up on yourself. 

He reaches over to you and rubs your back. "Where's Ransom?" 

You shrug. "I don't know, I think he- he left." You reach for a pillow and hug it tightly to your chest to try to calm yourself down.

"Want me to stay with you?" He pushes back your hair, away from your face.

"Can I be alone, please?" You whisper, scared that if you speak any louder you're going to break. 

"Of course. If you need me or Theo, just send us a text." Chase leans down and kisses your temple before standing up. "We love you." He adds before leaving. 

Ransom waits for his Über to show up to take him to his destination. 

"If you want a good tip and review I'd recommend not talking unless it's to ask for directions.."

The driver nods as he looks at him through the mirror. "Got it." 

With now time to think about what he wants to say, Ransom writes a few things down on his phone to make sure not to forget anything. He has a lot of questions to ask. 

The driver, as promised, keeps his mouth shut and Ransom gives him 5 stars and a $50 tip just for leaving him alone. 

He gets out of the car and up the few steps that lead to the front door, going in right after knocking. 

It's only been a few months since he has stepped into this house but it feels like it has been years. Things change quickly, he has changed too. Probably more so in the past few months than he has over the past 10 years. 

"I thought we were finally rid of you." Fran sighs as she sees Ransom walking toward her. 

"Fuck off." He says as he walks past her to his grandfather's office. He knocks but this time he waits for permission before walking in. 

"I like the beard and longer hair. It suits you." Harlan says to him as he takes a seat. 

"Mh. Thanks." He runs his fingers through his hair. 

"Not a fan of the bloodshot eyes though." 

Ransom sighs and glances down at the desk before looking back up. "Why did you have kids?" 

Harlan sits back in his chair and looks at his grandson, really looks at him, frowning. "What do you mean?"

"Have you always wanted kids? Is it because Nana and Great Nana wanted them for you? Why did you choose to have kids?" 

Harlan takes a moment to really think about his answer, he's not sure why Ransom is asking him this but he has a feeling that his answer could potentially change Ransom's opinion. Whatever it is. "I don't know how it happened." He says sincerely. "I don't remember ever thinking about wanting to have kids until I met your Nana. I was a lot like you when I was younger. Reckless and handsome." He teases to lighten up the mood. "You often hear people say "I met the love of my life and my world got turned upside down" but when I met the love of my life my world finally made sense. All the puzzle pieces fell into place and everything felt right. I loved her with all of my being, still do. There's not a day that I don't miss her but she's not really truly gone because I see little pieces of her in every single one of you." He smiles fondly. "I can't say when exactly I decided to have kids, all I remember is thinking that the world would be a better place with more of her in it. Now that she's gone, I'm glad I have all of you to remind me of her."  

"Would you still choose to have kids if you knew how bad we were going to turn out?" 

"Not everyone turned out bad and it's not entirely their fault if they did." 

"Meg is fine but the rest of us, not so much." 

"You turned out fine." Harlan looks at Ransom with a smile and pride in his eyes.

Ransom can't help but laugh. "In what world did I turn out fine?" 

"Look at how much you've changed since I cut you off, how much you've grown. For the first time in… years, you look happy. Genuinely happy."

Ransom shrugs and looks down. "I was." 

"It's that girl, right? Your friend that Marta helped? You fell in love."

It's not a question, it doesn't need to be.

"What happened?" 

Rubbing his hands over his face and sighing, Ransom feels close to breaking down again. "She wants to have kids." 

"And you don't?" Harlan asks curiously.

"Why would I? With how fucked up our family is, I don't need to put that kind of burden on a child or on her. She deserves better. My dad cheats on my mom constantly, they both hate me and each other." He shakes his head. "I'll be a shitty dad and a shitty husband." 

"Tell me, do you think your dad stops to think "am I being a shitty husband?" before cheating on your mother?" 

"Fuck no." Ransom laughs but there's no joy to it.

"Exactly."

Ransom frowns and raises a brow, confused. "Exactly, what?"

Harlan chuckles and sits up on his chair, leaning forward on his desk. "You are not your father. You are nothing like your father. You love her, you care about her. Let's forget about your parents, about this family. It's just you and her in the world, would you have kids with her?" 

"Of course I would. She's my whole fucking world, I'd do anything for her. I'd give her anything she asked for but this is the real world and Drysdale men don't make good fathers." 

"Then break the cycle." Harlan says, like it's the most obvious solution. 

"Oh, right. Sure. Just like that." Ransom answers, clearly being sarcastic as he rolls his eyes. 

"Why not? Are you a good boyfriend to her?" 

"I don't know. I guess."

"Do you love her? Show her affection? Treat her right? Take care of her? Respect her?" 

"I do."

"Then you've already broken the cycle of Drysdale men being shitty boyfriends or husbands. If you can do that then you can break the bad father cycle." 

"What if I can't and I end up ruining her life and the kid's life?"

"What if you can and you end up being happy with a great family?" 

"I hate it when you answer my question with a question." He shakes his head.

"I know you do." Harlan chuckles. 

"I'm scared I might have lost her." Ransom admits, so quietly that Harlan almost missed it.

"If you love her then fight for her. If you just give up then you're sure to lose her. Go home, fix it." 

Ransom runs a hand through his hair. "We have two roommates, they are protective of her, they probably won't let me talk to her alone and if they do they'll just hide and listen to everything." 

"Here." Harlan opens his desk drawer and pulls out a set of keys. "Send them there."

"Are those the keys to my old house?"

"Those are the keys to the house that I paid for. Now go, fight for your girl. Make me proud." 

Ransom stands up and takes the keys. He walks over to the door and opens it, turning around to add one more thing. "Please don't tell anyone about me and her. I don't want them anywhere near my relationship." 

Harlan nods. "You got it. Your secret is safe with me." 

"Thank you. For everything." 

His grandfather smiles at him. "I'm proud of you Ransom." 

He walks out of the house while taking his phone out of his pocket and tries to call you. He's not surprised when you don't pick up, it was to be expected. He hangs up to get an Über and he's surprised to see how late it is already. He hadn't realized that so much time had passed. It's almost dinner time but it feels later than that because of how dark it already is outside. 

On his ride home, Ransom thinks about how or what he'll need to do to get you alone without the guys. 

Once he gets dropped off near the building, he calls Theo to say he needs to see both he and Chase to clear the air before seeing you. After the call, he runs up the stairs and waits until he's sure they are gone. 

After the night they had locked you up in the loft together you had confiscated the keys from that specific lock and put them all in a drawer in the kitchen so while the guys are moving down to the first floor, Ransom quietly sneaks into the loft and locks the door. He leaves the key just in case one of you wants to get out, he doesn't want to hold you hostage he just wants to keep the guys out until he has had a chance to have a real talk with you. 

He sends them a quick text to tell them where he hid the key of his old house with the address. The guys would be pissed if they weren't so impressed by how quickly Ransom has learned to play by their rules. Plus, there are worse ways to spend your Saturday night than in a giant, beautiful house. 

Once he's sure the guys won't be interrupting anything Ransom takes off his shoes and his jacket, leaving them close to the front door. He takes a few deep breaths to settle his nerves before heading to your room. 

He usually loves moments when the loft is calm and in complete silence, like right now, but tonight he wishes there would be a noise, a sound, anything to cover his nervous heartbeat and the blood rushing through his veins at an incredible speed.

Ransom turns the knob and walks in without a sound before closing the door again. He moves closer to your bed, his heart clenching painfully at the sight of you looking so small and fragile, almost broken. He hates that he did this to you.

Lifting up the covers, Ransom carefully gets into your bed and lies behind you. A sigh of relief almost escapes his lips when you don't flinch or tense up at his presence, counting it as a small win. 

You have no idea what time it is, all you know is that you've spent the entire day in bed crying, sleeping or staring at the wall in front of you. You're tired and your body aches from lying in the same position for hours on end, yet you can't find the energy to move. Not even to turn around. Chase and Theo check up on you often to make sure you don't need anything, maybe that's why you're able to tell right away when it's Ransom who comes in and not one of your other roommates. 

You let him get in and settle down right behind you without saying anything. What is there to say that hasn't already been said earlier? 

What you don't expect is for him to reach over and wrap his arm around you, like he always does, and you feel terrible for jumping the way you do. Ransom tries to move his arm away when he sees and feels you get scared but you stop him, putting your hand on top of his. 

Ransom's eyes are burning with unshed tears as he wraps his front around your back, getting as close to you as physically possible. 

"I'm sorry for leaving the way I did." He says quietly, not surprised to hear the pain in his own voice. "Can you turn around, please?" 

You hesitate but slowly turn around to be facing him. As soon as he sees your face he moves his hand away from your waist and uses it to wipe off the fresh tears on your cheeks, not realizing that his own are now running free.

"I'm so sorry, kitten. I'm so fucking sorry." He whispers, knowing that his voice can't get any louder without breaking or wavering. 

You're fast to cover his cheeks with your hands, using your thumbs to make his tears disappear as soon as they come out. "You don't have to apologize. Sometimes things just don't work out." You give him the tiniest of smiles to show him you're not mad. You could never be mad at him for knowing what he wants or doesn't want. 

Ransom's eyes widen as he realizes why you think he's apologizing. "No, no, no, no." He says quickly and puts his index finger under your chin to make you look in his eyes. "I went to see Harlan today and we talked, for hours. You were right. I'm not my dad and I'll never be my dad. I love you, I'm fucking crazy about you and I never want to hurt you. I promise I'll never cheat on you or do anything else to hurt you, to hurt us." 

"Oh, Ran. I know you won't. The thought never even crossed my mind and I love you, I really do that's why it hurts so much but we want different things. As much as I love and adore you, I haven't changed my mind about wanting to have kids. I'm sorry." 

"I know, kitten. That's what I'm trying to say." He grabs your cheeks with both of his hands and rests his forehead against yours. "I changed my mind."

Your eyes widen and you quickly sit up. "Are you for real?"

"Yes." He sits up too, facing you. 

"A few hours ago you didn't even want to think about having kids, Ran this isn't like changing your mind about getting a cat." 

"Like I said, I talked to Harlan and he opened my eyes on a few things." He tucks a strand of your hair behind your ear, letting his fingers linger across your cheek. "If it were someone else, I wouldn't have changed my mind but it's you. I know you won't be scared to call me out if I do something bad and I know I'll love our kids because they will be yours. I really thought about it, I'm sure."

You stare at him speechless. "Maybe you should take some more time to think about it." You suggest, a little taken aback.

"I don't need to." 

You're shocked that he has changed his mind so rapidly but also shocked that you believe him even if you think an afternoon isn’t enough to make such a big decision. He seems so sure of himself, there's not even an ounce of doubt in his voice, in his words or in his eyes. 

Before you try to argue again, Ransom closes the distance between the two of you and kisses you. It starts off chaste and soft but it quickly turns sloppy and full of need, full of desire. One of his hands travels down your body to the small of your back where his hand then moves under your shirt. He sighs at the contact of your warm, soft skin and moves closer to you. 

You put your hands to the back of his head where you tangle your fingers in his hair to keep him close, as if he'd ever dare to leave you like this. 

Ransom kisses the corner of your lips and trails down from your cheek to the side of your neck to give you a chance to breathe. He sucks and nips at the skin, smiling against your neck when he feels you shiver. 

You bite your lower lip and close your eyes to let yourself get lost in his touch. 

He lifts up his head and he grins at the sight in front of him. "You look so beautiful." He presses his lips to yours, stealing your breath once more. He helps you lie down on your back, holding himself up with one hand flat on the mattress while the other is still on your back. He lowers himself with you and settles his body on top of yours, between your legs so as to not crush you under his weight. His hand that's on your back moves from under you and comes to take yours instead, intertwining his fingers with yours as he raises them above your head to rest on the pillow. 

Once again Ransom breaks off the kiss to let you breathe and instead presses soft kisses all over your cheeks, forehead and nose. He stops to look down into your eyes when he feels you cupping his cheek in the palm of your free hand to get his attention. 

"I love you." You say softly after feeling the urge to say it first this time. 

Ransom's breath hitches in his throat and he gently squeezes your hand that he's holding. He gets lost in his own mind for a few moments, trying to think back to the last time that someone told him they loved him and meant it. For years girls have told him they loved him, not because that was how they felt but because they thought it could get them expensive gifts or money. It didn't. Those three little words have always turned Ransom off, until tonight. He used to hate hearing them but now they might be his favorite words. "Fuck." He curses quietly under his breath, his heart is pounding in his chest in the most wonderful way. "I love you." He adds quickly right before kissing the tip of your nose. "Wanna get started on those babies?" He asks you, cheekily as he wiggles his eyebrows and grins down at you. 

You can't help but laugh at his playful attitude. You tilt your head a little to the side, matching his playfulness. "Are you sure you want the babies and not just the baby making?" 

"I'm a big, big fan of the baby making." He smirks. "But I'm gonna be an even bigger fan of the babies that come from it." 

You shake your head as you smile, amused. "How about for right now we practice and we can talk about babies tomorrow morning?" 

"Anything you want, my love." He smiles as he leans down to kiss you. The moment your lips touch, his playfulness is gone and all of his focus is on making you feel good, beautiful and loved beyond words. Over and over again until you're both too exhausted to move.

Ransom rolls off of you and lies on his back next to you, letting you both catch your breath. You wiggle closer until you’re flushed against his side and rest the back of your head on his bicep. He moves his head to look at you and smiles at how relaxed and at peace you look. He wraps his index finger and thumb on both sides of your jaw to angle your head in the right direction to give him easy access to your lips as he leans in to kiss you. He nips at your bottom lip before pulling away.

‘’We totally just made a baby, I can feel it.’’ He rests his head back on the pillow and looks up at the ceiling. 

You laugh and take the hand that was on your face, holding it between yours as you close your eyes. ‘’I think it’s going to take a little while before we do. At least I hope so.’’

Ransom frowns and turns his head to look at you. ‘’What’s that supposed to mean?’’

You blindly trace his pinky ring with the tip of your finger, slowly opening your eyes to look back at him. ‘’I love how excited you are about this but we don’t need to have a kid now. We need money, lots of it and our own place because I’m not taking care of a newborn baby on top of taking care of Theo and Chase.’’

‘’Right.’’ He sighs. ‘’I keep forgetting that money is an issue for me now.’’

You raise a hand to his beard and gently scratch with your fingers along his jawline. ‘’We just need to come up with a plan, to make sure we’re ready when it does happen. If we did make a baby tonight, we’ll make it work but I’d like to be prepared.’’

‘’It’s a good thing that one of us is smart.’’ 

‘’Don’t say that, you’re smart too.’’ 

‘’Oh, I know. I was talking about myself.’’ He laughs at your shocked gasp and kisses your temple. ‘’I’m just teasing.’’

You sit up to put your shirt and leggings back on. ‘’I hope you enjoyed getting laid earlier because that was the last time in a very long while.’’ You stick out your tongue at him before hurrying out of your bed and heading to the bathroom to take a shower. 

‘’No, come back.’’ He tries to stop you from getting out of bed but you’re too quick. ‘’Kitten.’’ He whines and smiles when he hears you laugh. He gets out of bed and follows you to the bathroom, not bothering with putting on any clothes since it’s just the two of you and he has locked out your other two roommates. ‘’What are we doing?’’ He asks, innocently.

‘’I’m taking a shower.’’ You turn on the water to let it warm up before getting in.

‘’What a great idea for us to take a shower.’’ 

You bite down on your lip, trying not to laugh and encourage him. You shake your head instead. 

He leans down to kiss the side of your neck, covering every inch of skin with his lips as he puts his hands under the front of your shirt to cover your stomach. ‘’Need some help with your clothes, kitten?’’ He nips at the skin right under your ear, making you shiver.

You slightly lean back into him, making him think he has won but you quickly snap out of it and pull away. ‘’I got it, thanks. I’ll be done soon if you want to take a shower after.’’ You take off your clothes and walk inside the shower, closing the door behind you as you step under the water. 

A few seconds later you feel a big gush of cold air coming in, making you aware that Ransom has opened the door. He steps in and stands behind you as he closes the door right after. 

‘’Ran, what are you doing?’’ You don’t turn around, your poker face sucks and you want to pretend to be mad for as long as you can. 

‘’Just making sure my beautiful baby mama is safe.’’ He wraps his arms around your shoulders and kisses the back of your head. 

You laugh quietly and lean back into him. ‘’I’m not a baby mama yet.’’

‘’Yet. But I’m working on it..’’ He moves his hands to rest on top of your stomach and you almost melt at how adorable he is being since coming back from Harlan’s. 

A small part of you wants to tease him and tell him that he’s being super cheesy but the sincerity in his voice stops you. Instead you put your hands on top of his and relax under the hot water. 

‘’Ran?’’ You say his name quietly after a few minutes of just holding one another. 

‘’Yes, my love?’’ 

‘’I’m starving.’’ 

He chuckles. ‘’Yeah, me too. Let’s wash up and then we can go out.’’

‘’Out? Ransom Drysdale are you taking me out on a date?’’ You turn your head to look up at him.

He smiles and kisses your forehead. ‘’I don’t know if you can call it a date because I definitely can’t afford fancy restaurants but we’re going out to eat.’’ 

‘’Well, lucky for you I’m more of a small restaurant kinda girl. Small prices, big portions and I have my own money.’’ 

‘’I’m paying and I sure am lucky.’’ He smiles before letting go of you to grab the soap. 

By the time you get out there is no more hot water but neither of you care. You head back to your rooms to get dressed and meet back at the front door.

You’ve decided to walk to the small italian restaurant a few blocks away, you’ve gone often but Ransom hasn’t had a chance to eat there yet and you have a feeling he’s going to love it. You, Theo and Chase have been going there for years and the owners know you well, they often give you discounts that you pay back in their tip. 

You sit at your usual table and Ransom surprises you by sitting next to you instead of sitting across from you. You are so used to your boyfriends being either ashamed of being seen with you or trying to hide that they have a girlfriend in case they run into their other girlfriends that you’re always pleasantly surprised to see Ransom doing the exact opposite. He puts his arm on the back of your chair once he's settled and runs his fingers up the back of your neck as he takes one of the menus to decide on what to eat. 

You on the other hand don't even look at the menu because you know exactly what you're going to eat, the same thing as usual. 

"Everything looks so good." He says as he flips through the few pages with his free hand. 

"It tastes even better, I promise." 

"I bet. It smells amazing in here." He quickly glances around to see what is on other people's plates to potentially help him make a decision. There are so many choices and it's hard to choose just one.

A waiter comes over to pour you water and take your orders, leaving swiftly after. 

Ransom gets closer and kisses your cheek as he reaches for his glass of water at the same time with his free hand, taking a few quick sips before putting it down. He watches as you lean into his side, smiling as he watches you yawn and rest your head on his shoulder. Bringing his hand up to your head, he gently strokes your hair while kissing the top of your head. "Tired, my love?" 

You nod. "Yes. Today was exhausting." 

His heart clenches at the painful thought of everything he put you through today. "I'm so sorry." 

"You don't have to apologize, Ran." 

"Yes, I do. I hurt you and I made you cry. I'm sorry." 

You tilt your head to be able to look at him without having to move away from his shoulder. "You didn't hurt me or make me cry. I was scared that we were done and I didn't want us to be."

"You're not getting rid of me that easily." He teases, smiling lovingly down at you. 

"Good, I don't want you to go anywhere." You smile back at him, a look of pure adoration in your eyes.

Anyone that would look at the two of you right now could see, without even knowing you, that you're in love with each other. The looks, the smiles and the touches are filled with respect and need for each other that makes it beautiful to watch the interaction between you two. 

You barely let go of each other long enough to eat and as soon as you're done you find yourself back into Ransom's side. 

The same waiter from earlier comes back over to clear your plates and ask if you need anything else.

"I'm full, thank you." You smile before finishing your water and putting your empty glass back on the table.

"Just the check." 

You try to pay for your half of the bill but Ransom insists on paying, you know better than to try and fight him. Instead you might "find" $20 in his jeans pockets while doing the laundry, that you'll make sure to give back. 

You walk back to the loft with your arm around his waist and his arm around your shoulders. Walking is a great way to help the food go down but the air is getting cold and gets through your clothes. 

Once in the elevator Ransom pushes on the button for your floor and wraps his arms around you, hiding you under his coat to help warm you up. Back in the apartment, he locks the door again to keep the other two out for the night and meets you in the bathroom to brush his teeth as you do the same. You both head back to his room, closing the door behind you, then taking off your clothes to get into his bed. He stays in only his briefs while you steal one of his t-shirts to cover yourself with for the night.

"I love you, thank you for tonight." You press a kiss to his chest before laying your head on top of his heart, just in time to hear it flutter at the first three words of your sentence. 

"I love you." He rubs your back, closing his eyes as he breathes you in. 

Thankfully the day ends in the exact same way it started: You in the arms of the man that you love feeling good and protected, right where you belong.

[quitealotofsodapop]

I like to think that it takes a but before Wukong and DBK end up having a much needed conversation about Wukong's pregnancy and the reasons he'd kept it hidden. They didn't hold off on it until Revenge of the Spider Queen, but I don't think Wukong was exactly eager to talk about it.

I also think that Wukong ought to have had some hidden resentment not even he had been aware of at the fact his big brother, who definitely is the sort to swear he'd protect Wukong no matter what despite Wukong not needing it, hadn't been able to keep his promise when it came to Wukong's capture, torture, and imprisonment. Being thrown into a Furnace for nearly 50 years and then buried under a mountain for 500 more isn't exactly something you just 'get over', and that's just a small part of what Heaven had done to Wukong. Like... he doesn't blame DBK because there's no way he could have known... but also DBK had broken his promise to keep his baby brother safe and presumably the first interaction they had after Wukong was freed by the mountain was presumably DBK asking Wukong for help with his toddler son who was hurting himself with a power he could not control and Wukong was probably hurt by that. And he was definitely hurt by the fight they later had.

Basically, there's a lot of bad stuff that happened with the journey and the events that led up to it and I think Wukong was suppressing a lot of that trauma, and it came out in ways he didn't really notice. Part of that comes to a head during their first heart to heart when DBK is told why Wukong had kept the fact he was pregnant a secret. He still didn't know exactly how long he was pregnant, that it was indeed during the Journey and not something that came about after it, but he knows Wukong had been pregnant when he was sealed under the mountain and Wukong had knowingly kept that from him. The rest of that only came out while they were in the web, which onky served to infuriate DBK even more because he'd thought he'd HAD this conversation with Wukong already and he comes to find out that Wukong had kept even more from him.

Basically it be like,

DBK: Why are you being so secretive about this? A child is amazing!

Wukong: There's a reason I don't want this getting out, DBK! Could you imagine what would happen if work got out that the 'Great Sun Wukong' was pregnant and vulnerable!? What would the Jade Court do!? The thousands of enemies I've made over the years!? I'd be lucky if they didn't start lining up at my door to try to take advantage!

DBK: I would have protected you! You're my little brother, you could've have told me!

Wukong: Oh, like you protected me so well during the war when I got thrown in a Furnace and trapped under a mountain!

Silence, as Wukong realized what he said, and that he hadn't meant to say that aloud. He'd thought he'd gotten over that tbh.

Another thing to consider;

Wukong also missed out on 500 years of life back when he was captured. 500 years of being unable to make amends with his mate. 500 years unable to defend his people from the Fires and the hunters.

And DBK spent all that time free, married, getting invited to parties, and generally having a life while his younger brother rotted under that mountain.

From Wukong's perspective, DBK forgot about his little brother. And that def stirs up some resentment once the two reunite after DBK's release.

But the full truth is even uglier than that.

As Sun Wukong and DBK's arguing escalates, I can see DBK finally breaking down into tears.

DBK: "I wanted to save you xiandi! I truly did! Azure and the others claimed you a traitor but I Knew you would never surrender without cause!" Wukong, angry tears: "Then why didn't you try freeing me from the Furnance?! Did you just sit around for all of those 49 days!?" DBK, voice raising accidentally: "IF I DID THEY WERE GOING TO KILL TIESHAN!" *covers mouth in shock* (The room goes silent. A long-held secret having just been revealed. As if the demon king had expended all his magic to break a verbal geas/spell that had tormented him for centuries) Wukong: "...t-they? Who's they?" DBK, shaking with tears and anger: "Many. Not just Heaven... if I moved to help or defend you in any way they'd... they threatened to... "take away what I had conquered". They treatened it long before you even surrendered to the Emperor." Wukong: "Wh-who? Who would threaten that? Who knew you'd defend me even if I had surrendered-" *goes quiet at a realisation left unsaid* "No..." DBK, eyes saddened: "Yes." Wukong, now angry-crying: "But... why?!" DBK, unsure himself: "I believe... some of them suspected that it wasn't truly Heaven we would have surrendered for. We are too much alike in many ways..." Wukong, taking in a deep breath: "The Emperor he'd- He said he'd- I'm sorry..." DBK: "I know he threatened to take Liu'er away from you. Anyone with a brain could deduce that." Wukong: *nods mournfully* DBK: *deep sigh* "I suppose I could have at least visited you... buddha knows Macaque did." Wukong: "Wait, you know about that?" DBK: "Of course! He visited your mountain nearly every year on the dot. Mostly to plant peach trees and sunflowers in the soil outside and pray for your swift release. Odds are he did not reveal himself due to your falling out- Xiandi are you ok!?" Wukong, realising that Macaque still loved him even then: "NO!!!!"

I love emotionally tormenting these characters. >:3

[crimsonhydrangeavn]

Hi! I absolutely loved the demo of your game—it was amazing! I'm excited to see more of it. I have two questions: First, how would Garret or Teagan react if they were in a room full of yanderes with y/n? Second, I hope this doesn't come across the wrong way, but I'm genuinely curious—how long does it usually take to release a new episode? I'm really looking forward to continuing the game, and I appreciate all the hard work you put into it. I hope I'm not rushing anyone, and I'm truly sorry if it comes off that way. Thank you so much for reading!

Thank you so much for your ask! I'll go ahead and answer your second question first before moving onto the first one! lol

I wanted to start off by thanking you for asking your question in a kind and respectful way, I completely understand where you're coming from and I don't take any offense to it what so ever!

I know I really appreciate transparency when it comes to games/ things I'm a fan of, so I want to do what I can to make sure I'm as honest and upfront with you all as possible.

So I went through my logs and did the math. Day 1 took me about 6 months from start to finish and Day 2 took me almost a full year from start to finish. That being said, Day 1 was 11k words and Day 2 was 24.5k words total. So given the fact that Day 2 was more than twice as long as Day 1, I can see why it took double the time as Day 1. (That and I learned how to add animation into Renpy and spent a little over a month going down that rabbit hole and making a few animations for the game. I also spent some time refining Day 1 while working on Day 2 so that probably made the Day 2 release take longer than it would have otherwise)

The reason why it takes as long as it does is because I'm making this game entirely by myself. That includes the script, all of the art assets, the programming, the audio, and not to mention all of the social media, and patreon content.

On top of that I also have a pretty steady stream of freelance work that usually equals to about 30-50 hours a week. I've burnt myself out in the past and I'm trying to keep a sustainable pace where I'm making progress on CHVN but I'm also enjoying life and taking breaks as needed.

That being said, I do post monthly game updates on my patreon to discuss what I've finished that month, what I have left, and what the current word count is. ( ATM it's longer than Day 1 and I still have a lot planned haha)

I also think it's worth mentioning that this is my first game and I'm learning how to do everything from scratch. My background is in the visual arts so programming and audio stuff is completely foreign to me. That being said, I'm stubborn as hell and for better or for worse once I put my mind to something, I'll get it done one way or another.

Hopefully that answers your question! Once I finish up the script portion of Day 3, I can give a better estimate of how long it'll take me, but until then I really have no idea when the actual release date will be.

Now, onto the easier/ fun part of your question! lol

Garret would play nice at first, however he would make sure that he was never more than a step away from your side. He doesn't trust anyone to behave themselves around you, especially if they're anything like him.

Teagan on the other hand would immediately try to get you to leave the room. They don't deal well with competition and would want to remove you from the situation asap. If you refused/ couldn't leave with them, then they would make sure to talk shit about all of the other Yandere's and taint your view of them. While it would put an obvious target on their own back, at least they'd know you wouldn't talk to or go off with them out of your own free will.

Thank you again for all of your support! I really appreciate it and I can only hope that the next update is worth the wait!

[teenandbeyond]

Loki x M. Magician Reader

I don't why this came to my brain 😭 Did it come out well? Let me know if you want a full love story flashback with...hmm...50 hearts? I don't think that's too bad.

Want more from me? Master list II

☆*: .｡. .｡.:*☆☆*: .｡. .｡.:*☆

Love Archive (Marvel)

Warning(s): Fluff, kinda long, slight angst bc past Loki, Ragnarök, Reader is stuck with insanely long life, Exes (ouchies), Smut (but not graphic and will leave warning when time)

You and Loki were in love once, then it fell apart...Only to see each other again over 200 years later...only to be forced to save the universe together...fun...

✨✨✨✨✨

"[Name]! Is it truly you?"

With furrowed brows, you turn to be blinded by a bright grin.

Yeah, you had no idea who this bulking blonde was.

"Who are you, sir?"

He chuckled, running a hand through his short hair, "Right, you wouldn't know me. You knew my brother, Loki. Correct?"

Hearing that name still strangely brought warmth to your heart.

But how...?

"How do you know of me?"

"Ah!...I might've...followed Loki once and saw you. He doesn't know."

With a huff of amusement, you cross your arms. So this was Thor. Loki often spoke of him.

So you knew he was nosey.

"And what do you need from me?

"I saw you fight. Earlier."

"That was only but a correction."

You were a type of security on Grandmaster's planet, but because you were a pretty boy, people liked to test you.

Let's just say that was a mistake.

"Well, I'd like you to join my team. I need a fighter such as yourself."

"Team?"

"Yes, the Revengers!"

"Re...ven?"

"Yes, a team of those who want revenge against the world and this place."

You didn't have anything in particular you wanted revenge over, but...you were a bored old man.

"Sure. Sounds fun."

"Wait, really?"

"Yeah, where do we start? How many members are there?"

"Ah...less than five?"

"Oh, dear."

☆: .｡. .｡.:☆☆: .｡. .｡.:☆

So much happened in less than an hour. You met a socially awkward scientist that Thor swore could transform into a monster, but the man stayed a man. Until...he wasn't?

You were confused.

Even as a half-human yourself, you found humanity weird.

And then, after doing a little...ah...clearing of obstacles, you were told to come to a familiar room.

You could hear conversation on the other end as you knocked the random code Thor had given to you.

And the door opened...he was there. Restrained, but there.

Loki.

And he froze in place, just as you did.

He looked like a deer in headlights, guilt you didn't understand riddled his face.

You smiled, "Hello. It's been a while."

"Ah--Yes, hello. It has."

The silence was heavy with a story that slowly bared itself from the archives.

"They definitely know each other," Bruce observed.

"Obviously," Valkyrie, one of your coworkers, deadpanned.

That was an understatement.

1800s Britain, that's when you met him.

You were 26 at the time, but you'd long discovered magic and the inhuman part of your lineage.

Loki could smell the magic on you, he was drawn to that and your quiet charm.

You mostly kept to yourself, a bit soft-spoken, you weren't brutish like many men were at the time.

And in a short span of time, he realized just how easy it was to talk to you.

You were understanding, you always listened. And you loved no matter what.

That's all he'd ever wanted.

Someone to just smile and say, "I love you, I'm listening."

Someone to hold him when he wanted to cry.

Someone who made him feel like he belonged.

Someone who could kiss him like he was their world.

And you were his.

But one day, it hit him. He wasn't good enough for you.

So he left, and what broke his heart even more?

You understood. There were no hard feelings.

But ever since that day, he'd wished you had been selfish, wished you'd disregarded his words and kept him close.

And now here you were, over 200 years later.

One of you still felt a warm love.

And the other was filled with guilt, having taken out that regret on others for years.

"So, how have you been?" Loki forces the words out instead of keeping the silence that was admittedly getting awkward for everyone else.

Oh, it hurts that you still smile at him so warmly. Why couldn't you at least pretend you hated him?

"I've been alright. Mostly travelling. You?"

"Ah--Well, mostly mischief."

"That's a given."

"Any, uh...Did you ever have a...?" How did he ask?

You nodded, "Yeah. For a while, I tried again. But mortals, you know, they die. So...after that, I decided I'd save myself from losing anyone again."

Then Loki took in what was around your neck, and his heart warmed at the sight.

You'd kept it. The ring he gave you, the promise ring that held a false promise of forever.

To him, it was a failed promise.

To you, it was a devotion of love. One you could never get rid of.

Even after all this time, you could say, without hesitation, you still loved him.

Even when you learned he'd tried to betray Thor as you tried to escape this forsaken planet.

He still arrived to save the day when it was needed.

And he was still there to guard you as you struggled to heal the wound of Hela.

And you were there for him as he mourned the home that never felt like home in his heart, but still belonged to him.

The father that never felt like home, but still belonged to him.

There was so much pain weighing on his shoulders.

He just needed to wash it away.

Scrub it away.

No, it needed to burn like the flames that had engulfed Asgard.

And you were the only person who could ever burn things away, even if just for a little while.

"Please. I don't want to think."

"I understand."

You always understood.

You understood that he didn't want words, not now. You did well enough at that.

He wanted warmth.

[NSFW]

His mind began to blank out the moment your lips trailed down his skin.

"I want to burn it all, [Name], can you do that?"

"I'll utterly engulf you. As much as you want. Wherever you want, my love."

It wasn't long before you had his skin scorching, flushed, and red.

He gasped for breaths between kisses as you got so close you were one.

He left thin, hot trails of red down your back, your sides.

And when he wanted the control, you relinquished it.

And by Odin---perhaps it was improper to say that, a habit--you were utterly beautiful beneath him, too.

He felt flattered to know he's the only one who's ever had you in this way.

The only one to have you vulnerable for a change.

Once again. Loki was realizing...

He was a fool, an absolute fool...for putting your love in the archives.

[rubin-therubix-loverofblorbos]

TF2 INCORRECT QUOTES: ULTIMATE EDITION

Medic: I hate taking off my glasses, because without them, my vision goes from Full HD all the way down to buffering at 240p and I just can't handle that.

Sniper: Are you good? Spy: In what sense? Sniper: Generally. Spy: Oh, definitely not.

Scout: You think that’s cringe? Moms around the world wait 9 months just to end up naming their kid Dell. Engineer: Hey, fuck you.

Soldier: The waiter at Olive Garden has been grating my cheese for 6 hours now, waiting for me to say when. Customers are screaming. Three people have died. Soldier: I will not yield.

Engineer: Still not over how yesterday when my flight landed, our pilot said we arrived 50 minutes early because they took some "shortcuts". Engineer: Excuse me, we were in the sky, what do you mean???

Spy: Okay, who's turn is it to give the pep talk? Medic: It's Soldier's turn. Soldier: Don't die. Medic, wiping a tear away: Truly inspirational.

Scout: We need more help. Maybe I should call my friends. Pyro, Muffled: … Your what? Scout: My friends. Engineer: Are they saying “friends”? Heavy: I think they're being sarcastic. Soldier: No, no, no, this is delirium, they've cracked from being awake all night. Hey, Scout! All of your friends are in this room.

Heavy: If I say I love you, will you say it back? Medic: Yes. Heavy: I love you. Medic: It back. Later Scout: Why is Heavy crying face-down on the floor?

Demoman: What happened to Soldier? Engineer: They died. Demoman: They what? Engineer: They died, but they’re okay. Demoman: …Can you please clarify? Soldier: Clarification is for the weak.

Engineer: Medic, Heavy, I love y’all and all, but can I ask what in the hell are you doing? Medic, trying to stabilize a tower of folding chairs that Heavy is sitting atop: Oh nothing much. Heavy: I love you too :)

Engineer: Caffeine no longer keeps me awake while I work, so instead I have Medic periodically send me texts saying ‘we need to talk.’ Engineer: It gives me the right amount of adrenaline and fear I need to keep going.

Medic: tapping fingers on table Soldier: taps fingers back furiously Sniper: …What’s going on? Scout: Morse code. They’re talking. Medic: -.-- ..- .-. / - …. . / -.-. ..- - . … - Soldier: slams hands on table YOU TAKE THAT BACK!

Soldier, to Demoman: Why is Scout not talking? Demoman: I'm playing the silent game with them. Soldier: Well, then you just lost. Demoman: I lost two hours ago. I gave them ear plugs and told them to close their eyes. It was the only way I could think of to get them to shut up.

Spy: casually taking four stairs at a time Sniper, falling behind, taking two stairs at a time: Fuck you fuck you fuck you fuck you fu-

Engineer: Here are two pictures. One of them is your bedroom, and the other is a garbage dumpster. Can you tell which is which? Scout: Scout: This one is the dumpster. Engineer: They’re both your bedroom.

Engineer: Stop setting things on fire because you're curious about what will happen. What will happen is fire. Medic: But what if something else happens just this one time. -Pyro giggling in the background-

Demoman: I’m having salad for dinner! Engineer: Demoman: Well, fruit salad. Demoman: Actually, it’s mostly grapes. Engineer: Demoman: Okay, it’s all grapes. Demoman: Fermented grapes. Engineer: Demoman: Engineer: Demoman: It’s wine. Demoman: I’m having wine for dinner.

Medic: Truth or dare? Soldier: Truth! Medic: Do you- Engineer: I dare you to kiss me. Soldier: kisses Engineer Medic, to Heavy: They said “truth”, right?

Scout: When I get murdered, can you make sure I become an unsolved case? Sniper: wHat? Scout: I want to be on Buzzfeed Unsolved. Sniper: Can we go back to the part when you said "when I get murdered"?

Heavy: Where’s Soldier? Spy: Around. Heavy: Around? Heavy: You don’t have any idea, do you? Soldier, dropping down from above: Did you know there’s a space above the ceiling?

Soldier: Do you think I’m ugly? Engineer: It’s not about looks, Soldier. What’s valuable is on the inside… Soldier: Engineer… Engineer: For example, someone's heart. Soldier: Aw… Stop it- Engineer: It could be purchased for more than a million dollars, you know. Soldier: Seriously, stop.

Demoman: In alcohol’s defense, I’ve done some pretty dumb shit while completely sober too.

Sniper: How many children do you have? Spy: Biologically, legally, or emotionally? Because there is a difference.

Demoman: What are your adjectives? Spy: …You mean my pronouns? Demoman: No, I know what your pronouns are! What are your adjectives? Spy: …I dunno. What are yours? Demoman: Noisy and chaotic! Spy: I’ve never had something go from making no sense to making complete sense so quickly.

Heavy: Unpopular opinion, not all dogs are good boys. Soldier: Blocked. Heavy: Sometimes, they’re good girls! Soldier: UNBLOCKED!

Soldier: I’ve been here in jail so long I think I’ve lost my mind. Soldier: The days turn into weeks, weeks turn into months. Soldier: How long have I been in here now? Almost a year? Medic: This is Monopoly.

Spy: Goddamn it, the printer broke while printing out Sniper's birthday invitations. Soldier: Well, what are they supposed to say? Spy: "Sniper's birthday". Soldier: So, what do they say instead? Spy: "Sniper’s bi". Soldier: Soldier: Works out either way.

Demoman, clearly drunk: Spy, hit me another drink… wooOO HOOoo… Spy: I think you need a therapist and not a bottle. Demoman: I think yooOOoou need to shuUT YOUR MOUTH! Medic: Spy isn’t answering my messages. Sniper: Allow me. Medic: I tried 6 times, what makes you thi- Spy: replying to message Hello.

Soldier: I think it’s time I get my life in order. Engineer, narrating: But they did not get their life in order. In fact, they got drunk last night and befriended a raccoon. Scout: Sniper! This soup is flaccid! Sniper: LITERALLY WHAT THE FUCK DOES THIS MEAN?! Medic, on a random band name generator: Oooo! They Might Be Depressed Horses! That about sums up my friend group. Scout: Helpful grammar tip: “farther” is for physical distance, “further” is for metaphorical distance, and “father” is for emotional distance! Demoman: My favorite part about Megamind is that he literally grew up on Earth around humans but is still confused about human culture and etiquette. Zhanna: So did I. He's not special. Engineer: Guys where did Scout go? Medic: They got arrested. Engineer: How the hell- Scout: *bursts in through the window* The cops are after me, I thought it would be fun to steal crackers and throw them at people. Miss Pauling: Soldier, we tried things your way. Soldier: No, we didn't. Miss Pauling: I did it in my head and it didn't work.

Demoman: I like your top, Sniper! Spy: I have a name, you know. Sniper: Sighs Why. Why are you like this? Demoman: How do you tell someone that you wanna have sex with them in a polite way? Sniper: Excuse me Lovely. Would you give me the honor of indulging in sexual activities with you? Miss Pauling: What the fuck is wrong with you two? Heavy: Is the Grinch his name, ethnicity, or job? Scout: It's a slur. Scout: *in a jail cell* What about my Miranda rights!? You’re supposed to say I have ‘the right to remain silent’”! NOBODY SAID I HAD THE RIGHT TO REMAIN SILENT! Engineer: *in the cell next to them* You have the right to remain silent, what you lack is the capacity. Pyro, Muffled: Do you know the ABCs of first aid? Sniper: A. Bone. Coming out of the skin is very bad. Engineer: Engineer? Yeah, I'm enginEERING MY FUCKIN' LIMIT! Soldier: Heavy has no idea I’m high. Heavy: You’re high? Soldier: Oh, I’m sorry. Soldier, leaning over to Medic: Heavy has no idea I’m high.

Zhanna: Is letting someone win at chess sapiosexual bottoming? Spy: Can everyone in this godforsaken group please learn the skill called "Think Before You Speak"? Heavy: Ya know... it might be. Engineer: The smell of Home Depot is cathartic... Fairies live in the lights and chandeliers section, gnomes live in the outdoor gardening department... Spy: Stop romanticizing Home Depot. Engineer: Pixies live in the paint aisle. Fuck you. Engineer: Oh, fiddlesticks. Sniper: Look, I understand this is a tense situation, but let's watch the fucking language. Engineer: Why is it that I always lose things as soon as I need them? Sniper: Actually, it's not that you lose things when you need them. You lose them a while before. It's just that you LOOK for things when you need them. Engineer: Okay yeah thanks Sniper, that's great but WHERE'S THE FUCKING FIRST AID KIT? Applebee's Waiter: What would you like to order? Pyro: I'll take the apple. Applebee's Waiter: We don't actually sell apples. Pyro, visibly frightened: Okay then... I'll have the bees... Medic: Make her pussy wet, not her eyes. Spy: Make his dick hard, not his life. Scout: Break her bed, not her heart. Pyro, Muffled: Play with her boobs, not her feelings. Sniper: Get on his dick, not his nerves. Soldier: Always salt your pasta while boiling it.

Scout: Which country has the most birds? Scout: Portu-geese! Engineer: That's a language. Scout: Portu-gull? Engineer: Good recovery. Medic: I think you mean good re-dovery. Spy: TURKEY. HOW DID WE MISS TURKEY? Zhanna: Okay, if we can't do it by sheer force, we'll do it my way. Spy: But your way is sheer force! Scout: Pokemon is trying to slowly convince us Pikachu was always fluffy and I for one accept this future. Heavy: Did you think the mouse was just smooth and had yellow skin like a little simpsons demon?? Scout: Scout: Maybe. Demoman: What are you drinking? Engineer: Vodka. Demoman: Straight? Engineer: No, gay. Why? Soldier: *Kicks the door open, looking panicked* Engineer: What did you do?! Soldier: NOBODY DIED! UNFORTUNATELY! Engineer: WHAT KIND OF ANSWER IS THAT?!

Pyro, trying to comfort Sniper: What's the problem? Anxiety? Low self-esteem? Obsessive thoughts of random arson? I've been there. Sniper: But MuuuuUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUuuuuuuum... Medic: Can someone translate this? I don't know Australian. Scout: I'll do my best. Ahem. AY YO MA. Scout: Yum, thanks! Kidnapper: *puts more tape over their mouth* I said stop eating it. Medic, barging in: Syphilis! Engineer: Medic: Engineer: Pardon? Zhanna: I have no respect for this Santa character. Don’t sneak in through the chimney and undermine my authority by bringing my family presents. Walk in through the front door and fight me like a man. Engineer: You can't wake up if you never got to sleep. Sniper: Scout, remember when you said you weren’t going to interfere with my love life? Scout: No, that doesn’t sound like me at all. Engineer: I have a problem. Soldier: Kill it. Engineer: Can you chill for like, two seconds?

Zhanna: Are you okay? Heavy, crying: Yeah, it was just the onions. Zhanna: Picks up an onion What the fuck did you say to my brother? Sniper: Our relationship is strictly professional. Spy, sitting on Sniper’s lap: Absolutely. Only on business. Pyro: Do you ever think? Because I do not. Soldier: Screw lactose intolerance! I will consume as much dairy as I want! Soldier 2 hours later, crying on the floor: WHY DOES IT HURT SO MUCH?! Heavy, to Engineer: If Scout doesn't say "I'm King of the world" within an hour on that boat, I will give you my next pay check. Scout, within 5 minutes of getting on the boat: I'M KING OF THE WORLD!!! Zhanna: You know, I used to play back in my gory days. Demoman: You mean glory days? Zhanna: Ah, that too. Medic: Heavy, do you love me? Heavy: Of course I do! Medic: Would you still love me if I did something bad? Heavy: Well, of course I… would… Medic: I mean something really, really— Heavy: Medic, what did you do?

Engineer: Come on, Spy. Nobody actually believes that Soldier is in love with me. Spy, to The Squad: Raise your hand if you think that Soldier is helplessly in love with Engineer. Everyone raises their hand Engineer: Soldier, put your hand down. Pyro, Muffled: Dude, we can get mythical animals! Maybe I’ll get a penguin! Medic: Penguins are real. Pyro, Muffled: That’s the spirit, Medic! They’re real to me too! Miss Pauling: double checking supplies in the boat Compass. CB radio. Sunscreen. Pyro, Muffled: Hot dog costumes! Miss Pauling: I’m sorry, what? Pyro, Muffled: You know, in case we get lost at sea, and one of us, probably Soldier, goes mad with hunger, we’ll put these on. Soldier hates hot dogs, so they probably won’t eat us. Miss Pauling: Are you saying that Soldier would rather eat us than hot dogs? Soldier: I do hate hot dogs. Demoman: So, how long have you and Engineer been together? Soldier: No, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no. Engineer and I are not together. No. No. Demoman: Really? Sixteen ‘nos’? Really? Scout: I bet you can’t make a sentence without the letter “A”! Engineer: You thought you just did something there, didn’t you? Well, sorry to burst your bubble, but numerous sentences could be constructed without employing the first letter of the English lexicon. Demoman: Fuck you. Heavy: Uh, Engineer? Demoman is in the pool and I don't think they're waterproof. Engineer: What? Zhanna: I think they meant, Demoman is drowning. Engineer: WHAT?! Meanwhile Demoman: is drowning Miss Pauling: OH MY GOD, DEMOMAN! KEEP SWIMMING! Demoman: I can't swim, dumbass— sinks Miss Pauling: DEMOMAN!

Sniper: is hugging Engineer Zhanna: Hey! It's my turn to hug Engineer! Zhanna: grabs Engineer Demoman: kicking down the door What do you mean, "yOuR tUrN"? We agreed now is my time slot! Sniper: No, It's still my turn! Engineer: suffocating Guys, I love you, but just because I'm the smallest doesn't mean you can be huggin' me constantly! Zhanna: But we need the moral support! Sniper: And you're small! Which is cute! Demoman: If I don't hug you right now I think the depression will kick in and my body will stop functioning. Engineer: close to tears Well- I, I guess. Miss Pauling: Well, you know what they say: Can’t bake a pie without losing a dozen men! Pyro: No problemo! Pyro, internally: But it was all problemo. Miss Pauling: Are you sure this is safe? Soldier: Safer than Flintstone vitamin gummies in a bottle. Soldier: Keep twisting, junior! All you’re gonna get is clicks. Scout: I'd roast you, but my mom says I can't burn trash. Scout: slow-mo walks out of the room

AND ON THAT NOTE, YOU'VE {somehow} REACHED THE END OF THIS ATROCITY!

[just-orbiting-you]

jikook’s conversation at the first restaurant in ep 5 was just so…..intimate and sweet to watch. seriosuly, the way V was just truly a guest there and barley talked or added anything to conversation and the entire time jikook were just looking at eachother, joking about grilling meat, talking about enlistment, joking about perilla leafs, it was truly fun to watch. the entire ep felt like that but i think their time in the first restaurant was my favorite because it really showed how intertwined they are with eachother. the little joke jungkook said about waking up next to eachother and then they both did that face at the same time, it’s like they know every single joke that pops up in the others head. i seriously loved watching that, i couldn’t stop smiling. was there a favorite moment you had in ep 5? cause even tho there was no activities in the ep, the conversations jikook had were my favorite and probably has been my favorite parts of the whole show. in ep 4 and 2 it was like that as well. i can’t wait till japan, i assume they’re gonna be even more sweet with eachother. also i felt like people were taking the ham v sausage argument too seriously, if jimin took it to heart he would have said that in a less joking way and im sure they wouldn’t have even aired that. jungkook might have even a little annoyed or hurt at jimin taking tae’s side but i just didn’t think it was too serious like many people did.

hey anon! thanks for your ask! y'all should come gush in my inbox more often because at the end of the day, i'm just really grateful they shot this show in general and just want to talk about everything i love about it :).

that conversation at the barbeque place is also my favorite part of the ep. immediately after watching it the first time, i was like "that's one of my new favorite parts." so im gonna break down my thoughts.

first jimin in that button up literally had me losing it. he was so so boyfriend here. this show keeps reaffirming to me how much he makes me crazy and how absolutely gorgeous he is on the daily.

jungkook 'teaching' jimin about his theory on the best way to cook meat was so adorable. this part of the show really shows me just how fond jimin really is of jungkook. and i think he wears it on his sleeve with his smiles and giggles. especially once jungkook starts his soju bottle theatrics, jimin has this split second whipped look on his face before tae starts talking. when he said he "likes weird charms" or something like that nine ish years ago, i see what he means.

i was like 50/50 about the enlistment talk going in. i obviously want to hear what they have to say about it, but i wasn't sure if they really were going to mention it. so once they did, i was so glad.

the little joke jungkook said about waking up next to eachother and then they both did that face at the same time, it’s like they know every single joke that pops up in the others head.

Literally. they mind meld. they can like read each other's minds. and i honestly think that's part of the reason why tae feels left out. immediately jungkook understood the joke and played along. its almost baffling how quick they read each other. and before when they say, "i'm not worried about us fighting" :') is so sweet. obviously you don't want to go in with that expectation something will happen, but its sweet they really believe in their relationship. i'm like tearing up thinking about them man.

if i had to pick another part, its one that comes up a few times throughout the show and that's when jungkook is talking about watching what he eats. jimin ALWAYS says something sweet and comforting, either trying to rationalize within jk's bounds or telling him it's okay to eat. like in ep 5 it was like "as long as you're happy eating" just so sweet. it honestly pains me to hear them both talk about their eating, because i know it's a product of their careers and needing to "go on diets" to keep their appearance. but it really is not a healthy outlook :/. to see jimin just reassure jungkook it's okay, despite probably having concerns like that himself in the past is just so sweet.

i called bullshit on the ham thing immediately when my inbox was flooded yesterday morning. because quite honestly, i get like jk when i end up being right like that. but seriously once we start getting into abuse allegations, it really has gone way too fucking far. i got smacked over the head with a reality check after ep 1 and 2, everyone else's is long over due. let's chat more about the fun parts of the show okay? enough of the presumptions.

[angelbambisworld]

WARNING:NSFW!!!

I finally did it. I sought out Gene's sex tape despite everyone's warning not to. Here are my following thoughts(In no particular order)

1. Why does my silly little pookie bear have everything off except for his shirt? He's so silly 🥰 Show us your tits, damn it!🤬

Also his pants were still around his ankles but that's pretty small potatoes compared to all the other shit.

2. I don't know why the tape is in black and white. I wanna see Gene blow that girls back out in glorious technicolor, goddamnit!

3. People clown on Gene for doing that girl while Foreigner's "I Wanna Know What Love Is" played in the background but idk. There's something oddly adorable about a guy who hypes himself up as this nefarious hot daddy sex god and he's fucking someone to a slow and sweet love song. What a fucking goofball. I love this man.

4. Yeah the sex was kinda mid but like idk what people expected. I think Gene was like in his 50s or 60s when the tape came out. Old people just fuck differently than young people. That's just how it is sometimes. Unfortunately I still am in good faith that he could get me off. It's Gene, after all 😅

5. That rockstar dick list wasn't lying, Gene is of average size and I want that thing in my mouth so so bad😭. It seriously looks mouthwatering delicious to me(But maybe thats just the insomnia talking rn. I've been up all night 🥲 When i could be going Uh! All Night with Gene instead😂🤣😭)

I swear the only way out of my obsession with him is through euthanization

6. At one point Gene tries to kiss the girl but she keeps turning away from him(See this is why it should've been me he was fucking. He would've walked out of that room COVERED in lipstick marks.)

7. I'm shocked there was no pussy eating at any point. Disappointed!

8. Even back then, Gene's ass was fat and jiggly. And I pray it continues to stay that way forever 😤🙏🙏

9. Gene's dad bod has me going positively bonkers as usual🥵

Overall, I thought it was...Interesting, to say the very least. Its definitely not as disgusting as everyone hypes it up to be, in my eyes. But now I know what sex with Gene Simmons is like(At least how it was for that girl, whoever she was) and the worst part is???

All this new information I've learned only makes me want him MORE!!!😭😭😭

I truly am Gene's nastiest fangirl.

[devilishcupid]

8 O'CLOCK | Gustavo Fring

☆ premise: you and gus confront each other after you call the cops on his dealers.

☆ pairing: gustavo fring x gn!spouse!reader

☆ warnings: angst, angry gus & reader, possessive!gus mention (sorta? idk)

☆ a/n: been thinking about that plot point where jesse found out that gus' men used a kid to deal and i just couldn't resist a "what if" scenario with gus' spouse.

7:50

Knowing your husband's line of work, you dreaded the day he might never come home. But tonight, this was the first time you wished he wasn't.

A part of you felt like an idiot. You knew Gus had eyes and ears on you 24/7. He had the latest security systems in place at home. He had Mike following you around when he wasn't doing cartel-related work. He made sure he knew your every move. So, of course, you knew he had your phone bugged.

7:55

But you weren't going to keep quiet. When you found out he was more than just a restaurant chain owner, you made him promise one thing—no children. He swore he had never and will never use children for his business. And you believed him.

You could've gone to the nearest phone booth. But you didn't. You called 911 on your phone. You wanted him to know—no, you needed him to know you did it.

8:00

On time, as always. You heard your husband's car pull up on the driveway just as you finished setting up the table for dinner. You approached the entryway, breath hitching as you wondered what he'll do. You knew not to mistake his calm demeanor for gentleness.

After what seemed like an eternity, the door finally opened. You expected Gus to come in and give you a look that could kill. You didn't expect him to smile and pull you in an embrace with one arm.

"How are you?" Gus asked, pressing a kiss to your cheek.

"I—I'm fine," you stammered, confused by his demeanor.

"Good. I'll go freshen up, then I'll join you for dinner."

You watched in amazement as he headed for the bedroom. How was he acting as if nothing was wrong?

The night went on the way they usually did. The two of you ate the dinner you made while talking about the day you both had—minus the cartel business and the 911 call, of course. Afterwards, you washed the dishes while he cleaned up the table and put the leftovers in the fridge.

After cleaning the last of the utensils and leaving them on the rack to dry, you turned around to find Gus staring at you. Gone was the warmth he showed you tonight, replaced by a coldness that not even you had seen before.

"Why did you do it?"

When you didn't answer, he approached you until he had you pressed in between his body and the sink.

"I asked you a question—why did you do it?"

"You know why." You responded, swallowing the lump that formed in your throat.

His jaw clenched, and you could hear a hint of frustration in his voice as he said, "I didn't know they were using children."

Your lips formed a thin line. You didn't believe a word of it. For a man who was three steps ahead of everyone else, how could he not know?

"You keep tabs on your partner, but you don't keep tabs on your own men. You expect me to believe that?" You spat as you glared at him.

You started to walk away, not before Gus wrapped his hand around your forearm and pulled you back against the counter. You tried to pull your hand away from his grasp, but his fingers tightly gripped your wrist, nails digging into your skin.

"Do you truly believe I would deliberately use children in my operations?" He growled, anger dripping in every word. "You think that lowly of me?"

"That's the problem, Gustavo—I don't know!" You snapped, your voice so loud the neighbors would've heard you if it weren't for the soundproofing measures placed in your home. "I have no idea what happens in your line of work. I rely on your word because I trusted you. I thought you would never lie to me. But today, you did. Now I wonder what else you've been lying to me about."

He closed his eyes, his hand loosening its grip on your arm. After a few moments, Gus looked at you again. "You may not believe me, but it's the truth. I didn't know. But as soon as I found out, I dealt with the problem immediately. No more children, I made sure of it. This I promise you."

Finally letting go of your arm, he stepped back and started walking away from you. Before he could disappear into his office, you called out his name. He stopped in his tracks and turned around to face you.

"How did you deal with it?"

"Do you need to know?"

[lunathebee]

THE MOON BOYS WITH A ADHD S/O

A/n: I have no words to justify myself; I did not avoid this request, nor did I disrespect the anon who requested it. This is just the war between me and my really bad memory problem (and stacks of endless work). Thank god, my brain just randomly decided to remember this.

Warning: Like the title said, not everyone can relate to this HC, and if so, please don't throw hate or say "Steven would never do that" or "I think Marc hates it," etc. Please, my masterlist has plenty of HC for everyone; leave this one for the people who really need it, aye?

🍓 Steven Grant 🍓

There wouldn't be much of a problem, I think.

If you told him you have ADHD, Steven would be a bit surprised—not because you had it, but because it is something new to him.

Man spent hours reading books and conducting research to learn more about you.

And I swear at some point, he would find himself mumbling symptoms with wide eyes.

"...zoned out or some would talk really fast—wait, I do that."

I don't know why, but I always feel connected to Steven in a different way, like the way he acts isn't just for quirky scenes or to make the audience laugh.

I truly (with my whole heart and deepest respect) believe Steven is somewhere on the same side as you (not ADHD, but the chance of him having another condition that affects him is high).

So yeah, I think you guys would share some similar moments together.

Steven would help you with many things and is always so kind and nice.

He takes a special interest in your fidget toys, so he hopes you don't mind that.

🍓 Marc Spector 🍓

"What is that?"

You have to explain it to him.

"Oh...Oh...Okay...Um Uh huh"

So serious and focused, Marc loves you, so if there is something about you that he doesn't know yet, he will try his best to understand.

I don't think he would be bothered by it that much.

Always keep an eye out just in case you guys are in public and someone looks at you "weird."

He's one of those grandparents who says, "You used to LOVE this thing because you told me that when you were 5, so I bought you 2000 stuff of it even though you're now an adult."

Marc might be a bit confused, but he's got the spirit!

Your shirt doesn't feel "right?" Maybe a jacket would be better?

You're feeling overwhelmed by your homework?That's okay, let's take a break.

Overall, I would say Marc really tries his best to make everything around you guys more comfortable for you.

Marc = best lover <3

🍓 Jake Lockley 🍓

I won't lie to you; this is just my brutally honest opinion on Jake.

At first, he would get bothered by it and might even be annoyed on some days.

Jake doesn't understand why and how on earth you can't make a decision on picking anything, or how you always say you're going to do this thing and then completely forget about it 15 minutes later.

But he has more important things to deal with, so he doesn't show that he's bothered by them.

"Bae! Why don't you throw the empty toothpaste away?" Jake asked one night

"I'm so sorry, I keep forgetting about that. Sorry, babe, I'm sorry."

Jake decided to let it go; it was just toothpaste, right? What is the big deal?

And then later on, he noticed you lingering in the bathroom a bit longer, how you always touch the toothpaste to make sure it's not empty, and how you also DOUBLE check that.

Everything turns into a big mess when Jake sees you having a breakdown from your trip to the supermarket.

When you tell him you went there to buy toothpaste but forgot, and when you DID remember, you can't remember if the tube is empty or full despite checking almost every day, his heart breaks.

Jake would hold you and comfort you, feeling guilty that he was the one causing you so much distress.

After that, he will have a totally different view of you and your chronic condition.

Jake will just silently do his job if he ever sees you forgetting something or leaving something randomly on the kitchen table.

He listens to you talk about 50 hobbies and plenty more.

Jake learns how to adapt just fine; your condition doesn't define you; you're his lover, not a burden.

[bubble-popping]

day 50 :0 !! more predator/prey au :] (things get a little 'rough' after this so i prolly won't share that part but if this ever makes it to ao3 you can look back and go 'oh that's what she meant...')

It wasn't the first time Dream had been behind bars. Being the leader of a revolutionary anarchy group tended to have that kind of result. He was sure that was again the reason he was in this cell. Except, he didn't receive the usual treatment. He expected constant interrogation. He expected threats on his life and those he cared about. He expected food to be withheld and to get no sleep with only the thoughts of his beloved to comfort him. This was not what he expected. Meals on time, every day. Offers of more blankets. Quiet whistling tunes that engrossed him. Punz was not what he expected.

They sat beside his cell almost all day, maybe even all night. (Not that he actually had any idea when it was day or night.) They never asked any questions, rarely started conversation period.

It only reinforced Dream's assumption. The only explanation that made sense was indoctrination. Those purists found a vulnerable child and trained him to be a killer. The heartless motherfuckers... But it gave Dream hope. If he could just get through to him, connect with him on a deeper level, he might have a way out of this mess--for both him and Punz.

"What's that one you're always whistling?"

Punz paused in the middle of cleaning one of his daggers. He had quite the collection. Dream counted at least 15 he'd seen them using in some way.

"Why do you care?" They resumed rubbing the cloth over the blade. This one was a dark material, possibly obsidian, and they were very careful with it.

"Just asking. Is it your favorite or something?" It was the tune he'd whistled when he caught Dream, about two weeks ago if Dream was keeping track correctly. The practice always fascinated him, partly because he could never figure out how to do it himself.

"Guess you could say that. Boss taught me on my first mission."

Dream's tall ears perked. Perfect. "Ah. It's got some sentimental value then, huh?"

They shrugged. "Just something that's stuck with me."

"And this 'Boss' guy, he's the leader here?"

"He gives the missions."

Missions. That's what he called times when he'd be away, usually to kill someone. Not that he talked about them. He simply had a subtle, ever-present scent of death on him.

"How come he doesn't do it himself?

"Short answer is... he's old." Yes. It was the first time since Dream met this guy that he showed even a hint of emotion. Dream had to be careful here.

"And, the long answer?"

"I'm the only competent motherfucker in this entire compound. The one that picks up all the slack these dumbasses leave," he muttered under his breath. His next swipe of cloth against blade was quick and rough; a crease to his brow. Frustration.

"So you do pretty much everyone's work, huh? Must be difficult."

"Boss wouldn't give it to me if he thought I couldn't handle it."

'Boss' seemed to be somewhat of a parental figure, maybe the only one they ever had. That must be the connection then. The reason they were committed to these people even though they clearly didn't like any of their 'coworkers.'

"Then, how come you're not marked like the rest of them?"

Punz halted, unnaturally still. Unlike every person Dream's seen in this place, there was no tattoo on their neck. They weren't truly part of the group.

"That's none of your business." Their tone gave off a freezing chill, nearly palpable in the stale air.

"But, it's weird, isn't it? You do all the work for them but you're not even on the same, the same level as them."

He abruptly stood up, chair skidding back against the stone wall. Throwing the cloth over their shoulder, Punz stepped forward and crouched. They pointed the knife through the bars, icy blue eyes glaring with the same sharpness at him.

"You don't know anything. Not about Boss, not about my group, and certainly not about me."

"I know no matter how hard you try, they will never see you as anything more than a dog."

They growled low and threatening, baring long white canines that glinted under the light of lanterns. They looked ready to tear Dream apart.

Instead, he raised up once again and turned away, headed for what Dream presumed to be the exit.

"Where are you going??" Dream crawled towards the bars only to be stopped by the short length of the chains around his wrists.

"To get some fresh air!" He snapped, "Smells like rabbit shit in here."

Dream huffed, slumping in his spot on the cold floor. That could've gone better...

But, brainwashing wasn't something that could be undone overnight. This was progress.

[itstokkii]

for @hwsasiaweek day 2: uzbekistan + food + "a smooth sea never made a skillful sailor"

in which uzbekistan can't let go of her qazon and explains why

‎‧₊˚✧[🇰🇿🇺🇿🇰🇬]✧˚₊‧

It was a Thursday afternoon, and all of Uzbekistan's siblings were staying at her house for a week in preparation for a regional conference.

While they were all in separate rooms of the house working on writing up important documents and presentations, Uzbekistan was cooking food for the evening, and as per tradition she was cooking osh. It was also her siblings' favorite food, and they insisted she cook it for them almost every time they got together.

As she was stirring the beef and onions, Kazakhstan came out of her study, sniffing around.

"Apa, are you making osh for tonight?"

"Yes. it is a Thursday, after all! Also if you guys eat enough of my food, perhaps you won't all be so grumpy at the conference."

"Speak for yourself," he chuckled. There was always some argument that would arise at one of these conferences, and many times Uzbekistan and Kyrgyzstan would be part of it.

Before she could respond with some lackluster excuse of those conflicts being in the moment and that it wasn't truly her and that she was definitely a mature lady and how he could say that to his dear older sister who is cooking food just for him, he points at the qazon she was cooking the osh in. the bottom was completely black after years of use.

"Hey, how long has it been since you've used this qazon?"

"Oh, um...I bought it at a market sometime around the 60s?"

"Apa, that's like 50 years!"

"Well, it's durable! Like the spatula I'm using to cook it with."

"But if you bought new ones...wouldn't it enhance the quality of your meals? New cooking technology and all..."

She gently added the chopped carrots to the qazon. "You know, a smooth sea never made a skillful sailor. You could buy all the latest utensils and completely revamp your kitchen, but!" She gestured at her hands. "It's all about your experience. Your skill. That's why you all love my food the most!"

"I don't know..." Kyrgyzstan stood on his tiptoes and looked over Kazakhstan's shoulder." Tajikistan was gushing about my dymdama last time. Her side of the plate was so clean, I think she used bread to wipe the leftover broth up."

"Why must you always make this about you? She was extremely hungry that time! Besides, that was then, and this is now." She closed her eyes briefly and tossed the carrots over.

The two spent the rest of the time bickering about the "deliciousness scores" that they had apparently been tallying up so far based on their other siblings' opinions of their food, while Kazakhstan tried his best to mediate.

Good practice for the actual conference I guess, he thought, though they've done this enough times I don't think I really need practice...

"If we're gonna talk about revamping your cooking, why don't you use a frypan next time? Your boyfriend already does that when he cooks osh-"

"HE DARE COMMIT SUCH BLASPHEMY?"

"Hey chill! You better keep that a secret cuz he told me to keep it a secret from you!"

Kazakhstan had to admit, she was pretty skilled at cooking. He could see it in the way she both argued passionately with their older brother and added the chickpeas and rice to the osh, never missing a step. Heck, she even managed to make some salad on the side as well.

And when the sky became a light purple and the crickets began to chirp, the evening wind brushing through their hair as they ate outside on the tapchan, Uzbekistan brought the hot, aromatic osh to the table to eat. Everyone cleared the plate within half an hour. She smiled smugly at Kyrgyzstan.

"That's 25 points for me since today, and you're still at 22~"

"I'M CATCHING UP, OKAY?!"

‎‧₊˚✧[🇰🇿🇺🇿🇰🇬]✧˚₊‧

notes: ALHAMDULILAH I MADE IT IN TIME ITS STILL 11:57 PM 💪💪💪

there's a lot of uzbek/central asian terminology here, and they're italicized:

osh: otherwise known as plov, it's uzbekistan's national food. it's a sort of fried? rice with carrots, meat, chickpeas, and raisins. each region in uzbekistan cooks it differently, but I tried my best to describe whatever I can remember from my mom's way. it's served to guests at home, weddings, and also eaten on the regular weekly, with osh being eaten on thursdays as a traditional custom.

qazon: the best way I can describe this in english is a cast iron cauldron. it's quite big and a lot of things can be cooked in it, like osh, qazon kabob, and dymdama.

apa: kazakh for "older sister."

dymdama: eaten in many central asian countries, it's a stew of beef, potatoes, carrots, tomatoes, and other vegetables. in uzbekistan, it's called dimlama, and I only recently found out it's called dymdama in kyrgyzstan by a kyrgyz classmate!

tapchan: in a lot of uzbek houses with backyards, there's a small resting area with cushions and a table outside. in the spring and summer, families usually eat their breakfast, lunch, and dinner outside.

[prefect30]

At The Heart Of It All

Warnings: DARK short story, death, blood, cannibalism, toxic freind, grotesque scenes, and one slightly suggestive scene. Please read with caution! This is a DARK SHORT STORY, if any of these warnings are triggering to you, then don't read this. Your media consumption is choice. This is all FICTION.

In the slums of California, where trash was mountain high, the rats living in the streets saw them as castles. However, stay clear of these rats, for you don’t know if the one you end up finding could talk or not.

It was clear to see that living in the slums of California was not ideal. The kids living there could be seen wearing worn out clothes, hand-me downs, and those in the worst cases, rags. Surrounded by trash everywhere, the putrid smell of dead rats (most kids chose that those dead are the non-talking ones to help keep their days going good) and just straight up trash could be smelled from all the way in Washington.

With its crime ridden streets, many riots, robberies, and on the occasion, murders, no one, even the many rats that would help in these events, were safe. The police have tried to stop at least some of  the crimes and bring the crime rates down, but it has gotten so out of hand that they have just given up. But to begin with, they never really were good cops. With most of them having a beer belly and almost all of them being over 50, most were in due time to retire or just give up. But the younger ones, the ones more fit for the job, well they gave up too once they realized they could make more money being one of the rats. Letting most rats out of the cage by “accident” because what is a reward with no risk?

However, the lucky ones, like Lilith, could be seen living off in the distance, in her pristine, castle-like home. She was one of the few lucky, rich families that could afford proper protection from the rats living in the slums and shelter. Spending most of her time in her Victorian themed bedroom, she truly was living like a princess. Her light pink drapes, hanging high from her windows, brought much darkness into her baby pink room. Her blush pink canopy would lull her to sleep as it would gently dance to the wind singing to her every night.

Her hair was rich as dark chocolate and skin as pale as snow. Her pearly white smile shone as bright as day. Towering over all her peers, she stood at a lofty 5’9, ever the long stick she was. However, it was her eyes that were the main attraction. Her bright, sapphire eyes always captured people’s attention, always shining like the true gem itself. 

The beautiful eyes could always be seen. Wherever she was, whoever she was with, her cerulean eyes would be the first thing one would see even in the darkest of places.

Her mother taught her from a very young age to always be polite, sweet, kind, and everything a boy could want in a wife. With her mother, drilling it into her head with a jackhammer, she would never forget what she taught her.

The voice of an angel, soft and delicate could only describe as she was to the ones she talked to. She seemed to float as she walked and would glide across the stage when she would dance, yet another thing her mother thought was needed to increase her feminine traits. She could sit at your normal Chick-Fil-A and eat as if she were dining with the Queen of England.

So here she was, eating lunch with her friend, Nelly, at Chick-Fil-A as if she were at a fancy tea party.

“Did you watch the newest Scream movie yet? I know that you’re a huge fan.”

Ah, yes. Scream. It was Lilith’s favorite movie of all time, with American Psycho coming in as a close second. 

“No. I didn’t get the chance to go to the theater yet to see it. I don’t think my mother would be too fond of me watching the film anyways.” Grabbing her lemonade, Lilith took a sip after answering.

“God, why do you always talk like you got a stick up your ass?” Nelly reached over and grabbed a fry from Lilith’s nicely splayed food on the tray the food came on.

Incompetent pig.

“It’s just proper English. Now come on, we should go now, it’s almost supper time.” Lilith gracefully jumped down from her chair as she started to clean up her area.

“Supper time. I mean, really! Who even talks like that.” Nelly exclaimed, waving her hands around like a lunatic.

“Proper English, my friend. Proper English.” Lilith patted Nelly’s back, subtly pushing her out of her chair.

“Supper time. Phh. Old lady talk.” Nelly muttered, pushing her chair in and throwing her food onto Lilith’s tray.

Lazy ass.

Walking out of Chick-Fil-A, the sun was slowly saying goodbye, leaving pink and yellow skid marks across the sky. God, how Lilith hated sunsets.

I mean, what’s the point of having someone come and leave their mess everywhere, just for someone else to clean it up. The moon should be the one that everyone loves, oh so much. She’s the one doing all the work.

“Remind me again why you can’t come over tonight?” Nelly looked up at Lilith.

“I need to prepare supper for my mother and me. We are having chicken and I need to cook it before she gets home.” Lilith answered, looking down on Nelly.

“But we just ate? Why would you eat again?” Nelly gave a confused look to the tall stick.

“Because Nelly, my mother didn’t eat yet and I only ate my fries. You’re the one who truly ate.”

Like a damn pig.

“Oh.” Nelly looked down at her shoes.

Fuck.

“However, it was near supper time, so of course you ate. You were hungry, as one should be when it’s time to eat.” Lilith saved face, grabbing Nelly’s left hand.

“Yeah, I guess you’re right!” Nelly exclaimed, swinging both of their hands.

Continuing their walk to Lilith’s house, Nelly started to skip a bit, slightly dragging Lilith along with her. Anyone walking by could see just how uncomfortable Lilith was. How she looked as though bugs were crawling out of her. Piercing her skin, leaving tiny, maggot shaped holes, with small streams of blood, slowly oozing down her arm, covering her in her own dark red blood. As if the bugs, now at her feet, slowly start to gnaw at her shoes–like carpenter ants–and make their way up her legs, leaving deep bites, right down to the bone. As if they made their way all the way up her mangled body just to seep into her eyes and mouth, slowly choking and blinding her.

That is how Lilith felt right now, just from a simple hand holding that she, herself, initiated.

Finally reaching her house, Lilith tried to pull her hand away from Nelly, but she held on tighter and then pulled her into a hug.

“Bye Lily! See you tomorrow!” Nelly beamed at the girl.

Lilith swore she could feel the bugs on her backside now, slowly going down her body and stopping at her legs again. She could feel them bore deeper into her eyes and choke her harder at the close proximity and nickname. No one, and I mean, no one, called Lilith, Lily. It had the complete opposite of her name. The complete opposite of her.

“Lilith. See you tomorrow, Nelly.” Lilith grumbled.

“Right. Sorry, Lilith. Bye!” Nelly apologized, giving Lilith finger guns and she backed away.

Lilith gave her a fake smile and watched Nelly as she turned around and started to walk away, wondering how someone so simple-minded could get on someone like Lilith’s nerves so much.

Imbecile.

Turning around, Lilith picked the key out of her pocket, unlocking the door. Walking in, she looked at her beautiful castle like home, smiling. She took a minute to look around the living room. There was a small mug resting on the short, crystal living room table. Raising her eyebrows, Lilith slowly walked over to the mug, resting her dainty hand on the mug.

Warm.

Her mother must be home. Why was she home so early, Lilith didn’t know. She did know, however, that she hoped her mother didn’t want to spend bonding time with her. She couldn’t stand the woman. Thought that she was a wasted body. The female Frankstien, born without a brain. Though Lilith swore that even he had more brains then the woman could ever have.

“Hey honey! How was the walk with Nelly?” The woman gently asked, walking towards her daughter.

However, to Lilith, it sounded like the murderous siren calls. The one sailors would hear right before the sirens would show their true nature. She would give that to her mother. She was beautiful, but in the old timey way. Where you knew that she was once a beautiful woman, one filled with joy and hope. Now she just looks like a rose that someone tried to preserve in time, but it dried out much too quickly. Slowly rotting away.

“It was fine, mother.”

“That’s good. Did you have fun? Where did you guys go?” Her mother asked, trying to keep the conversation going, while moving closer to Lilith. Her mother thought that their conversations were always cut so short. She loved her daughter very much and while she always tried to make sure that she would always present herself in a very feminine way, it was her way of showing her love. Besides, she was helping her daughter. If this little girl is what took away her beauty, she was going to protect hers at all cost. She didn’t want to see her only daughter rotting away just like her.

Lilith, however, thought that her mother was asking too many questions and was way too close.

“I had a wonderful time, mother. Now if you’ll excuse me, I need to prepare supper. I think that I’ll be fine by myself in the kitchen. Goodbye.” Lilith answered, putting her mother down before she could even ask a question to help her.

“Ok. I love you!” Her mother hollered to her as she watched her daughter walk away from her.

Rolling her eyes, Lilith walked into the kitchen and her eyes found the dead chicken right away.

Smiling, Lilith let out a quick sigh. She walked over to the kitchen counter and bent down to open up the middle drawer and pulled out her baby pink, flora design apron.

Bunny looping it around her waist, she grabbed the flour, breading, eggs, and knives. She got to work preparing the chicken.

Lilith loved preparing food, specifically meat. She loved how she could just let go and relax.

Digging her hands into the chicken, she gently pulled out the liver. Looking at the slimy, red liver, she wondered how it differed from a human liver. If it were to be stabbed, would it react the same way a humans’ would? She could know her answer to the chicken’s, but not the humans.

This angered Lilith. She hated not knowing things, especially when the things she had to do to attain what she wanted could be done, but just frowned upon by society.

Deciding not to linger on this, knowing it would only anger her more, she moved on to taking out the gizzard. Pulling it out rather quickly, she couldn’t wait to get to her favorite part. The heart. Gently taking the knife to her left, she cut open where the heart should be and sliced through the skin. She knew how to fix it up for her mother so she wouldn’t know she did this. As she put her dainty hand into the chicken, she delicately wrapped her hands around the heart and pulled out the heart.

The heart was still a bit bloody, but Lilith didn’t mind. As she looked at the heart more, she started wondering again.

What would it taste like?

She had tried it cooked before, but never raw. Her mother always talked about how she could get Salmonella. But she never cared and each time she was told that, she never was talking or thinking about the chicken’s heart.

Putting the heart onto the counter to her left, she started to really get to work on the chicken. She cracked the eggs and poured the breadcrumbs into a medium sized bowl. Then she got to the chicken. She worked her way from the bottom up, meticulously getting rid of any imperfections.

While doing this, she reflected on her actions towards Nelly today. She knew she had gone a bit too far with the food comment, but thankfully was able to save herself.

So naive.

She needs to be more careful, Nelly is overly sensitive and will burst into tears at any given moment.

However, Nelly is a simple girl and so easy to manipulate. With her being a short, plump girl, she didn’t have many friends, and the ones she did have, she cherished. Friends like Lilith. Lilith knew the day she met Nelly that she would be annoying, but useful. Nelly came from a wealthy and influential family. So while Lilith was rich, Nelly was richer. And while Lilith held some power with her “ranking,” Nelly held more, even if she didn’t know it.

So whenever Nelly had a big decision to make, Lilith would always be there, to help her decide what to do. She needed Nelly to be dependent on her, and as annoying as the girl was, it would only benefit Lilith. She needed to get it into Nelly’s head that Lilith was the only one who would be there for her. The only one whose opinion mattered. The only one she needed for anything. 

Lilith was so deep in thought that she didn’t realize that she had completely gutted the chicken until she heard her mother’s shriek.

“Lilith! The chicken! What did you do?!” Her mother came barreling in and pushed Lilith out of the way and stood in front of the chicken, examining what her daughter had done to it.

While her mother was distracted by the mangled chicken, Lilith sneakily grabbed the chicken heart and put it into her pocket.

“What was the-why would?” Her mother took a deep breath. “Why did you do this Lilith?” Her mother said, finally looking up at Lilith.

“I was not paying attention. I got distracted, mother.” Lilith replied.

“You can’t get distracted when you are using knives Lilith! Just, just go to your room. Now.” Her mother said, looking back down at the chicken.

“Ok.” Lilith answered, taking off her apron and turning to go to her room.

Her mother just sighed. The chicken had been completely torn up and gutted. Lilith had taken the knife and sliced the chicken from the bottom up, opening it cleanly. She had put her hands inside of the chicken, completely ripping out its insides. What little blood was left on the chicken now covered its entire body, smeared everywhere. It was on the chicken, knives, and the counters.

Lilith couldn’t help it though. Of course she didn’t mean to, but her mind and hands had separate plans. Once she got her hands inside the warm chicken, she completely let go.

Oh well.

Reaching her room, Lilith quietly closed her door and locked it. She moved to sit on her beautiful cherry blossom colored bed. She sat down and just started at her baby pink walls.

Oh!

Then she remembered. The heart. The chicken heart.

She pulled it out of her pocket and looked at it attentively. It was covered in blood from the gutting and was dripping a bit onto her white carpet floors.

Still warm.

She slowly brought it up closer to her face, a mere few inches away from her lips. She stared at it, mesmerized at how the blood seemed to glisten in the sun’s lowering rays. She brought it closer to her face, deeply inhaling its scent, her eyes fluttering in the pleasant smell. She then slowly lowered it to her mouth, lips caressing the heart as she thought about what she was about to do.

This is wrong. It is so very wrong. Sadistic even. Right?

As she heard her mother coming up the stairs, she quickly bit into the heart, eyes closing in pleasure. She heard her mother come closer to her room and she took another bite, moaning in delight from the taste.

“Lilith?” Her mother knocked on the door.

Of fuck off and let me enjoy this.

Lilith didn’t answer, instead she continued to scarf the heart down, getting its blood and juice all over her face, her bed, and carpet.

“Listen, I get that you don’t want to talk. I just-I’m sorry for yelling, but you can’t get distracted like that, Lilith. What if that were to happen with your husband? Who knows what he would do?” Her mother tried to reason with her.

Lilith just ignored the woman, too caught up in the heart she was almost finished. Besides, Lilith had heard this lecture before. Her mother would always “apologize,” but then right after would bring up how her future husband would react and how it was not very “ladylike.”

As Lilith continued to ignore her mother, her mother put her ear up to her daughter’s room and was horrified by the noises of squelching and moaning. Of course her mother thought the worst, but Lilith wasn’t doing that. No. She was simply just eating something delicious.

“Lilith, what are you doing?” Her mother whispered shakily.

Lilith, too caught up in eating the heart, missed the way her door handle jiggled and slowly opened as she finished the heart.

Her mother screeched in horror as Lilith looked up at her like a deer in headlights.

Shit.

“Oh, oh my Go-” Her mother started, but was cut off as she started to throw up all over her daughter’s carpet. Lilith grimaced in disgust watching her mother throw up.

Ew.

As her mother realized that she wasn’t going to stop throwing up, she quickly moved to Lilith’s bathroom and sat in front of the toilet, trying to aim the yellowish, pungent smelling fluid in there.

What am I going to do now?

Lilith didn’t know what to do. She couldn’t have her mother calling her crazy just because she wanted to try something different. And God, if the woman even tried to put her into therapy, oh, then Lilith would kill herself. She thought therapy was so stupid and only weak people had to talk to someone about their feelings and thoughts just because they couldn’t handle them themselves. And Lilith was not weak.

Maybe? No! That’s crazy. I can’t.

I shouldn’t.

I could.

…

Yes.

Lilith quickly picked the pen to her right–the same one she used to write in her diary–and carefully walked to her bathroom.

I can do this. I am not weak.

However, as Lilith got closer to her bathroom, she heard gurgling.

Quick. I need to be quick.

But when she entered, pen raised, she saw her mother lying down on the ground, choking on her own puke. Her mother was gagging, unable to sit up for some reason.

Why can’t she sit up? How are you able to find the strength to try to stay alive, but not sit up?

Lilith watched as the woman was gagging, unable to get air into her lungs from the puke blocking the way. As her mother reached for her daughter’s hand, Lilith stood still, unmoving or caring.

She watched in awe as the woman before her fought so hard to stay alive, but the odds were not in her favor.

She was going to die either way, either by the hands of nature or me. So why not let her choose the surprise option of her own hands?

Lilith stood watching for a few more minutes, waiting for her mother to die. She watched as each minute went by, something new would happen to her mother. The first minute, her face contorted into a pained expression while her face slowly turned all different colors of the rainbow, from red to indigo. The second minute, the puke started to bubble up around her mouth, pouring down her sides and she tried to coax it out without success. Lilith watched as her mother would sputter the puke around, causing it to land all over the floor of her bathroom, her mother’s clothing, and her mother’s face. By the third minute, Lilith knew that her mother would soon be dead. Her eyes had started to bulge from her socket–almost looking like they were about to pop out–and dark red tears started to fall from them. Slowly running down her face, mixing with the puke all over her face, making a red-orange, disgusting looking fluid. Her lips had turned an icy blue. When the fourth minute occurred, it was like Cinderella’s carriage had turned back into a pumpkin. Her mother’s body had caved in on itself, her hands turning in towards her body, looking broken. Her eyes had rolled to the back of her head and her body started to violently shake. Then, it all stopped. The blood tears, the puke sputtering everywhere, the bulging eyes, and the shaking. She was dead.

Well shit.

Lilith looked at her mother, tilting her head in curiosity. Was she really dead? Would it be like in Scream where the killer comes back to life for one last scare before they really die?

I mean, she was her own killer, so maybe she will come back to scare me one final time.

As Lilith waited for her mother’s final scare, it never happened. She truly was dead.

Lilith slowly walked out of her bathroom and saw how disgusting her room looked. There was blood and puke everywhere. Deciding to deal with her room and bathroom later, she went to her mother’s bedroom and walked straight to her bathroom. She looked at herself in the mirror. There was blood all over her face and mouth, speckles of puke on her chin that her mother so graciously gave to her, and her clothes and hands were drenched in blood.

Lilith didn’t even bother taking her clothes off as she stepped into the shower and started to wash herself. She felt a shock as the cold water flowed down her body.

She watched as the blood came off of her body and ran down the drain. She steadily started to pick her clothes off one at a time, starting with her socks and working her way up. Once she eventually got clean and got rid of all the blood and puke off her body, she stepped out of the shower and dried herself. She didn’t bother going to her own room to get clothes for herself, but rather grabbed what she needed out of her mother’s drawers.

When she was changed, Lilith walked downstairs to find that her mother had completely cleaned up the mess she made.

Mother.

Her mother was still up in Lilith’s room.

What am I supposed to do with her body? Call the cops? No. Well, I didn’t kill her, but I also didn’t try to help her. Whatever, I’ll figure it out later.

Lilith decided that she wouldn’t ponder on her mother’s dead body for longer, but instead she decided to call Nelly. Lilith needed to get out of the house for a few hours, and while she hated Nelly, this would only be a way to strengthen their friendship.

The line rang twice before Nelly’s mother picked up.

“Hello?” Lilith heard her say.

“Hello, Mrs. Hunapo! This is Lilith.” Lilith responded.

“Lilith, yes dear! How are you?” Mrs. Hunapo asked.

“I’m doing great. I was actually wondering if I could come over to spend some time with Nelly. I know we hung out earlier, but I just wanted to hangout with her again. And forgive me for sounding, one might say, clingy, but I kind of miss her.” Lilith finished her sentence trying to sound nervous, really making sure that she would let Lilith come over.

“Oh, my dear. Of course! You know, I was actually about to call you! Nelly just left a few minutes ago to come over to yours. She said something about being invited over for dinner.” Mrs. Hunapo told Lilith to her surprise.

What?

“Oh my goodness! I completely forgot about that! I am so sorry for bothering you, Mrs. Hunapo! I guess I’ll see Nelly soon then. Goodbye!” Lilith hung up before Mrs. Hunapo could even say goodbye. Lilith didn’t understand why Nelly would lie about her asking Nelly to come over for supper. Lilith never, and would never, invite Nelly to supper. She already has to spend the whole school day and most weekends with her, so why would she want to be around her for supper as well?

Then there was the even bigger problem. Her mother’s dead body.

Well, I guess I have to worry about that now.

Just as Lilith was about to try to somehow hide the carcass of her mother, the doorbell rang.

Dammit!

Lilith quickly collected herself and opened the door.

“Hey Lily!” Nelly said, giving Lilith a big hug.

Lilith, deciding that the nickname was the least of her problems right now, cautiously hugged Nelly back.

“Hey Nelly.” Lilith gritted out.

Nelly let go of Lilith and walked right into the house. As Lilith turned to close the door, that’s when she noticed that Nelly had a bag with her. A night bag.

She can’t be serious.

Nelly saw Lilith staring at her night bag with confusion.

“Oh, yeah. I hope you don’t mind, but I kinda might have told my parents that you also said I could stay over. Sorry.” Nelly said, looking down at her feet.

I do fucking mind you lying bitch.

“Of course not, Nelly! But why did you lie to your parents in the first place? I don’t remember inviting you to supper or over at all for that matter.” Lilith tried to joke, but it just came out bitterly.

“Oh. I-I thought that you wouldn’t mind, since we’re such good friends and all.” Nelly whispered.

“No. It’s fine Nelly. You know what, why don’t we just go to bed?” Lilith sighed, trying not to yell at Nelly.

“Ok! But, you don’t want to eat or anything?” Nelly asked, concerned for her friend.

“No. I’m fine. Besides, we both already ate earlier, remember? You can't possibly still be hungry?” Lilith said, trying to get Nelly shut up and just go to bed.

“Y-yeah, You’re right. Could I get changed maybe?” Nelly asked.

“Yeah, first door on the left.” Lilith told Nelly.

Lilith watched as Nelly walked into the bathroom to get changed and let out a sign of relief.

I just need to make it through the night. Then I can figure everything out. God, why do you always have to make everything so complicated, Mother?

Lilith waited patiently for Nelly to get dressed, but she was starting to get annoyed as the girl was taking forever. Every so often, she would hear a clank!

Did she fall or can she not get her fatass into her pants? It’s probably the latter.

Finally, Nelly came out of the bathroom.

“Hey, sorry I took so long, I was washing my face and teeth.” Nelly said, looking up at Lilith brightly.

“It’s fine.” Lilith forced out.

“Hey, um, where is your mom, if you don’t mind me asking? I thought she would be home by now or something.” Nelly asked.

Shit.

“She, um, she went on a date. Yeah, she uh, she met this new guy and has been spending a lot of time with him. She left right after supper.” Lilith quickly came up with, trying to sound sad to earn Nelly’s sympathy.

“Oh! I am so sorry for asking, Lily. I didn’t know. Why don’t we go to sleep now.” Nelly asked, trying to comfort Lilith.

“Lilith. But yeah, ok. Let’s sleep.” Lilith quickly said.

As Nelly tried to go upstairs, Lilith quickly stopped her, insistenting that they sleep downstairs in the living room. Nelly, of course, agreed.

The girls got adjusted on the floor, surrounded by blankets and pillows. Nelly had insisted that they sleep in a fort. Lilith reluctantly agreed, doing whatever she needed to make sure that Nelly stayed downstairs.

Lilith was looking at the top of Nelly’s Hello Kitty blanket, which she so kindly brought with her, and was trying to figure out how to deal with her mother’s body. She knows she shouldn’t think about it right now, not with Nelly over, but she couldn’t help it.

She couldn’t go to the police, she had already crossed that out earlier. She can’t just leave her there, she would start to rot soon and that would leave a dreadful smell. She can’t put it in a lake, there are none close to where she lives and she was not walking around California, holding a dead body.

As Lilith kept thinking of options, she got distracted by Nelly shuffling in her sleep out of the corner of her eye.

God! Lay still!

Lilith thought about burying the body in the backyard, but that would be too obvious. Plus, she would have to start a garden to cover up the dirt patch and Lilith did not like dirt.

Nelly kept shuffling and every so often, Lilith would hear her whimper.

Must be having a nightmare. Well, I’m living in one, you can just wake up. Granted, I did make my own nightmare, but still, she can wake up! Crybaby. Oh!

Lilith had done it! She had thought of the perfect plan. She would burn her mother in the fireplace, then she would convince everyone that she left for a lover, leaving her only daughter to live alone. She would get rid of her mothers body, get pity and sympathy from others, and her mother’s money. She would not be an orphan for long. No, she was almost eighteen. The second she would get out of that orphanage, she would get her money, house, and freedom. No one would know.

Lilith, closing her eye’s in sweet victory. Everything would go the way she wanted. She would get away with everything. With the money. With the house. With her freedom. Hell, even with the murder that she didn’t even commit! She could feel it in her heart. It was throbbing at a high rate, excited. She could feel it pumping blood all over her body from the exhilarating feeling she was getting right now. Her whole body just felt so warm right now.

Then it hit her.

Her heart wasn’t throbbing from excitement. No, it was from the hole she could feel in it. Her heart wasn’t pumping blood all over her body from the exhilarating feeling. No, her heart was pumping blood on her body from the cavity left behind in her heart. She was warm because of her blood.

What th-

Before Lilith could even finish her thought, her body started spasming from the loss of blood and the hole in her heart. She shakily opened her eyes, not understanding what was going on. As she opened them, she was graced with a face covered in blood. Her blood.

Nelly.

“WHAT THE FUCK ARE YOU DOING?! GET O-” Lilith quickly shut herself up with a scream after Nelly pushed her 9 inch filet knife deeper into Lilith’s heart.

“Yeah, I wouldn’t do that if I were you.” Nelly said, smiling sweetly at her.

Lilith knew that she was losing blood, and fast. A pierced heart does that to you.

“I know, I know! Why, Nelly? Oh, why!” Nelly said dramatically, laughing to herself. Lilith just looked at the crazed girl expectedly.

“Well, how about I just really wanted to see your fucking insides.” Nelly whsipered, taking the knife out of her heart and slicing her way down through Lilith’s body, finishing at her lower stomach.

Lilith just laid there, confused on how Nelly was getting to do the things that Lilith wanted to. She gutted the chicken, she won that one, but Nelly got to gut a person! A living person! She got to gut Lilith.

That’s not fair.

As Lilith watched Nelly worked her way through her body, she couldn’t help but wonder what brought this on. She was always so nice, innocent, and easy to manipulate. Maybe Lilith rubbed off on her too much.

Lilith let out a scream as Nelly ripped out part of her large intestine, getting blood all over her abdomen and Nelly’s hands.

“You know, I always wondered why you were so weird. I mean, who goes into the shower with clothes on?” Nelly said, as she looked at Lilith’s ripped up and bloody intestine.

What. God, even when she is literally killing me, she is so random. I mean, just shut the fuck up and finish the job. I already gave up, I know I’m not making it out of here.

Wait a fucking minute.

How the hell does she know that?

“What?” Lilith gurgled as she felt blood start to pool up in her mouth.

Like mother, like daughter.

“I mean really Lilith? Water and clothes don’t mix. Well unless it’s a swimsuit and you're in the pool or an ocean. Oh! In a hot tub too.” Nelly said, starting to rant as she threw her bloodied right hand around as she talked.

“Nelly! Ho-how did you know that I went into the shower with my clothes on?” Lilith asked in shock and confusion. She didn’t understand how Nelly could possibly know this and it was starting to worry her, more than gutting her. Did that mean she also knows about her mother as well?

No. She can’t. She never went upstairs.

Nelly smirked, “Well, I didn’t. The recording device stopped working and I figured that you had got it wet. I just assumed that you took a shower with your clothes on.” Nelly stated as if it was the most obvious thing.

“Recording device? Ne-” Lilith started, but was cut off by Nelly, “And really Lilith, you need to clean your bathroom. Smells horrible.” Nelly joked, looking Lilith right in the eye as she started to slurp Lilith’s intestine down as if it was spaghetti, getting blood all over her mouth.

The second Nelly said that, Lilith finally realized. She realized that she did feel those bugs on her legs, crawling right into her pant pocket. She realized that she didn’t feel a shock from the cold water, but from the electronic getting wet. She remembered that the vent in the spare bathroom downstairs went straight up to her bathroom, and realized that the clanking was from her removing and putting the vent back on to put her airhead in to see her mother. Her dead mother.

Lilith looked at Nelly in shock. How could she have missed all of the signs?! Lilith felt so dumb right now and she did not like that. Nelly just bared her teeth to her like a wolf after a kill, with blood smeared all over her face and little pieces of the intestine stuck in her blood stained teeth.

“What? Feel dumb?” Nelly laughed in her face.

Now that. That pissed Lilith off. Lilith weakly brought her hand up to hit Nelly, but Nelly was faster and stronger. She cut Lilith’s wrist, right to the creamy white bone. Lilith bellowed in pain. As she was distracted, Nelly set her knife down and shoved her hand into Lilith’s chest, ripping her heart out. Lilith let out another howl of agony.

Lilith’s eyes were barely staying open when she saw Nelly take a huge bite into her heart. She watched as her own blood splattered all over her, Nelly, and the blankets. She watched as Nelly's eyes fluttered close in pleasure, just like Lilith’s did when she bit into the chicken heart.

Nelly saw that Lilith was staring at her and her own heart intently. She smiled, licked her fingers off of the blood and said, “It tastes marvelous.”

Lilith just nodded.

“And don’t worry Lily, I’ll get rid of both yours and your mothers body for you. I’ll take that off your plate for you.” Nelly smiled, like she was actually helping.

“H-how?” Lilith stuttered, knowing that her time was up.

“I’m gonna feed you to the rats.” Nelly smiled, taking another bite into Lilith’s heart.

As Lilith's eyes slowly fluttered shut and her body gave out, she had only one thought left on her mind.

Which ones?

Thank you for reading my friends short story!

[magnaflourious-nerdity]

So the ask got deleted accidentally, but @autisticharrywells asked me about SANGYAO for toxic ship bingo, and now that I have forcibly dragged them through all 50 episodes, i can at last go off---- you FOOL! you have fallen directly into my trap!!! Muahahaha

I do not know how I ended up here. I don't know WHY I ended up here, except that I'm some kind of masochist.

Like I was all prepared to be 100% team wangxian otp and read all the fic and shit, and I started out so promising. (And I do love them...) But then. Then. That little demon brought a bird to class. And the other little demon protected him during the Wen thing. The stabbing ?? The warning as Meng Yao was leaving to huaisang DESPITE actively bleeding. The pleading to Mingjue to let Meng Yao stay despite no evidence of Huaisang ever really standing up to question NMJ decisions before like that (esp in front of other clan members) (other than with things like blowing off Sabre practice) THE FAN CLENCH. MY HEART. And THEN they committed their various atrocities during which the no turning back point was hit for them so many times and yet i do believe the remorse was there and so too was some affection still, twisted as it was by time and hatred and isolation and i... I just....I slipped?

There's so much there!!! (and please keep in mind I'm mostly talking from a cql/the untamed perspective, though I have seen the donghua and am aware of book cannon, I just kinda prefer the show as the version I take to heart (with some notable jgy or Huaisang based exceptions bc i'm nothing if not willing to excuse their pretty boy mid-divorce war crimes))

These two have such a deep shared history that spans the entirety of the cannon, and their relationship is extra fascinating on rewatch as you can more clearly track the downward spiral of events.

There's also the tragedy that it COULD have been avoided, was so close to being avoided several times bc JGY is not really EVIL, (any one who says this is being super reductive imo) but he does preserve himself above all other things and people through sheer learned necessity (with the exception of xichen and isn't that also a beautiful part of sangyao tragedy?? That so clearly xichen and JGY were destined to be the tragic counterparts to wwx and lwj's relationship not nhs and jgy? That xichen was the only thing JGY ever sacrificed true parts of himself for, that huaisang knows that he could have done the same for him, but didn't? Because there was too much history with Mingjue to let it go, and also bc the devotion or affection he held for huaisang when they were both on the mountain never surpassed that point. He had too much caution to truly be himself, and Huaisang, I don't think could ever truly see past JGYs status in the way that xichen was able to since he served as his big brother's vice general and also his appointed companion to a degree. ) And where does that leave huaisang? Where he always is. ALONE. On a mountain he never fit in on in the first place. Where does it leave JGY? Stuck in a permanant customer service role to his awful father and branded further untrustable as a spy. Humilated and broken down to the point of just. So much murder. (Some of which I still maintain tain as a public service coughcoughJinGuangShancoughcough)

They are so much alike and yet so different in such key aspects, that I also have to believe they were meant to act as parallels to one another, just like wwx and jgy, or xichen and wangji. The planning and manipulation they both do (in their own ways bc i am in the camp that while huaisang is smarter than the average bear, smarter than he ever wants to let on bc it makes his life easier, he isnt able to truly outpace JGY's ability to craft a situation. What he is good at is manipulating people and social situations, and adapting his outlined plan extremely well on the fly- with the exception of maybe xichen. I dont think he meant to truly hurt xichen like that. I think that was a natural panic that if JGY was allowed to live it would mean Huaisang actually had to die at some point instead, Though I do also think perhaps there is some lingering resentment there that leads to it to bc why is JGY worth pardoning after his crimes to xichen? Doesn't this mean he inherently valued JGY over Mingjue, over Huaisang’s own pain and anguish? (he did, but not maliciously, lans are love blind we know this))

The tragedies of nie huaisang are inextricably linked to the tragedies of jgy and vice versa! Technically, huaisang, as a bastard of the clan leader with one of his concubines, (I think that's right) should be discounted as a noble son, esp considering his weaker nature and lack of talents dictated to be valuable by the standards of the nie clan. He should have the same status really or at least a status more closely similar to jgy who is constatly looked down on because of his mother's position and bastard status, despite his constant hyper competency, as we see so vividly. And yet Huaisang is given title and rank and (some) respect where JGY gets trodden into the mud and shit of life, even as he succeeds in raising the jin clans success through his actions and talents. Meanwhile, huaisang is thought to be a useless leech by others, untalented in the ways of ruling or anything that's deemed an actually respectable skill by clan leader standards. A pathetic little dude who doesn't know how to do anything, and yes, he does get cast as a headshaker in the eyes of the people, but it's never his background thats brought into question as to why he might be failing. It's considered a result of his personality, not his upbringing. And even then he doesn't get shit talked as much as JGY does. Huaisang has all the privilege that JGY was never afforded, and does that color JGYs view a bit? Does it make him just bitter enough that, when combined with his father’s looming threats and taunts, and Mingjue’s inability to ever let anything JGY does go, that he's willing to hurt huaisang in such a way, even just as a byproduct of his mission?

Huaisang’s plan is successful, bc people discount him as incompetent, yes, but also bc they still see him as a noble, as someone of enough inherent value, diminished though it may be, that he weilds that influence even when playing the fool. JGY doesn't get that respect even at his height of his power and competency as a ruler.

They are, neither of them, strong cultivators. But that factor only really affects JGY bc it means he has to fight even harder for acceptance and validation. Huaisang also gets the luxury of CHOOSING not to be a strong cultivator. Because his position in life IS secure, he can slack off. He is allowed to try his hardest to avoid the fate of his family and do his utmost not to cultivate in that manner. Which I think, too, causes some of the resentment. On both sides. Huaisang never has to work a day in his life, has barely any expectations to live up to and still gets the respect Meng Yao is constantly robbed of. And for huaisang- On top of killing his brother via musically-induced, full-bodied rage embolism, JGY is now also the reason that huaisang is thrust into a position he was entirely unprepared for way before he was supposed to be.

And we know, we KNOW that JGY is responsible for so many of Huaisang’s pretty little things. His beloved indulgences granted not by his own brother, but by his doting san-ge. Things that got burned or destroyed by Mingjue simplu for the fact that a) they were from JGY and B) they are not the type of things NMJ cosidereds respectabke hobbies or skills. A large number of his fans and painting supplies are gifts from JGY, and he stood up for and encouraged those hobbies against the person he probably fears the most at that point, Mingjue (even if he's already actively trying to kill him by then). And huaisang seemed genuinely pleased that JGY had found acceptance and was getting what he (thought he) wanted. The friendship and affection was real, just not near strong enough to withstand the crimes of the other.

And oh boy that divorce was rough and bloody and beautiful and tragic and I just love the messy nature of the relationship, how deep and how twisted it went and became. And i think, right up until the very end, JGY didn't truly want to believe that Huaisang was capable of doing this to him, I don't think he ever wanted to hurt huaisang again the way he had to when he killed Mingjue. Use him? Maybe. But not in a malicious way, not by his standards.

I am happy to read any sangyao content I can get, however! I love reading about them as companions on the mountain, growing together, bonding. Maybe young and in love? I love reading the gradual drifting apart. The years they schemed and used each other. The final divorce. And what comes after. Or what could never be. Any content, I will take, and it depends on where in cannon we are that a particular square is filled in.

Jgy had to fight for both acceptance and sheer survival, and huaisang never really had to do either. Except maybe during the ~10 years of the gap when Huaisang had figured him out, but was pretending to be useless to achieve his ends. You could argue the mindset that aside from just avenging his DaGe, he was also concerned about his own survival bc what if he became an Inconvienience instead of just the annoyance he was playing up to be? If he actually stood in Guanyao's way? It would be much easier to take him out than Mingjue, realistically. But what would be that threshold to have JGY actually do anything? Are Huaisang’s histrionics and uselessness useful to him? Or a result of guilty indulgence? Or left over fondness from a ti.e they were so close? Some combo of all? Who can say and I fucking love that uncertainty about them

Saying all that, these two are the poster child for OTP I don't want to end up together in Canon, lol. Unless it's one of the many time travel fix it aus, they simply have too much history and shared issues and rage between them to ever make sense working out. But their stories are so incomplete without the other, they are inexorably linked, and I just think they're neat!

(Please don't come for me cql fans. im sure I've misunderstood or posted an opinion that's utterly debatable on here. But like, also. I'm tired and I love them and I don't care.)

I have more to say about them that you'll probably get to hear at some point when we talk, but for now, they have BROKEN MY BRAIN.

Also, to all my fellow sangyao peeps: please feel free to send fic recs if you want. I am so hungry for the content.