#i tried to use as many women as possible and couldn't find a good scene of emily??

[popculturebuffet]

Batmarch!: BTAS: See No Evil Review

Hello all you happy batpeople and welcome to batmarch! For the next few weeks expect some caped crusader content same bat whenever I get to it, same bat blog all through march! This fine theme month came about thanks to Kev having a bunch of bat-ideas, me wanting to cover the 89 film for it's anniversary, and it all swirling around till eventually it became a theme month. I want to give bat-credit where it's due after all.

To kick it off we've got a return to what's become a recurring guest on this blog: Batman: The Animated Series. Last time I covered it after the sad loss of Richard Moll, I talked about wanting to cover this episode and when the theme month came up.. well.. I couldn't resisist.

See No Evil is one of my faviorite episodes of Batman the Animated Series and a great showcase of just about everything that makes the series as good as it is: Letting sitcom stars try out something diffrent that shows off their dramatic chops? Check. Awesome animation. Check. A great unique premise masterfully staged in 20 some minutes yup. An intresting and hearbreaking villian? Yupppp. This is one of the most stacked episode sof the series and rewatch only made me find MORE to love about it. And if you haven't heard of this one... your in for a treat. I highly recommend going to watch it first as my review isn't a substitute for the full episode. It is worth a look under the cut to spotlight WHY this episode shines so much.

We open in a little girl's bedroom. Her name is Kimmy and she has a special friend. His name is Mojo

No not him. He didn't exist yet. No Mojo is an invisible man, and Kimmy is played by future star Elizabeth Moss... who sadly would not escape being stalked by invisible men in high tech suits as an adult, but would get at least another amazing story out of it. Or we would.

Mojo then finds out some news that while he tries his best to hide his reaction from Kimmy, clearly bothers him: Their moving soon and Mojo may not be able to find her.

Before he can give up the game, Mojo disappears when Kimmy, the girl in question,'s mom shows up: Elizabeth, played by the legendary Jean Smart of Designing Women and Hacks royalty. It's neat to see her in a dramatic roll like this, and despite growing up with Desining Women.. I NEVER knew this was her but i'm happy she's here. Elizabeth assumes Mojo is just imaginary.. even though a kicked can and movement in the earlier scene shows not so. Granted while Imaginary Friends are possible in the DCU, it's still at the early point where I get her not going to that: Most of batman's rogues are criminals with gimmicks and what few meta human foes he has are downplayed a bit here in their powers: Ivy isn't at full control plants levels yet, using more toxins and trained plants, Killer Croc just has a skin condition and Clayface.. well okay clayface still counts. But most every day people probably don't know every foes batman's fought and evne if they had don't assume this is one of those situations. I bring this up because after so many damn works where "oh well this can't be real even though superheroes exist" come up, it's refreshing to see one where that's.. actually entirely plausable and you don't feel like the characters an idiot for not knowing this. Most superheroes in this setting hadn't publicly debuted yet and those we know had by this time like Zantanna or Wildcat were either other street level heroes, or in zantanna's case protected by the veil of stage magic.

Mojo's next target is a jewlery exchange.. which has low security for anywhere, especially Gotham: Costumed Crime Captial of the World. I was going to gripe about this scene as Mojo's big plan for having an invisiblity suit.. is to just straight up rob people with it, stealing the jewelery as their brougth out of their cases and basically doing a smash and grab. But I realized something as I wrote this: Mojo being this clunky with his suit.. is deliberate. Mojo is, as we'll find out shortly, is a petty criminal. He dosen't have the need for theatrics Batman's normal rogues have, and he dosen't have the experince to pull off an elaborate heist. Of course he's going to see an invisiblity suit as more of a blunt tool to use rather than the very dangerous and versital one it is.

He's not entirely stupid, he knows how to use it as we see when Batman, who naturally was at the exchange as bruce either on rich person buisness, wayne corp buisness or "oh my god these idiots barely hired any security better be ready" buisness, fights him. Bruce is thrown off as even if he knows from Mojos's crimes t his opponent is cloaked that .. dosen't really help when your cowl dosen't have infared or anything. It just looks dope. And yes later cowls do but this one clearly isn't high tech to the gils like later entries, it's just dope as fuck. Batman does do the obvious when fighting an invisible opponent: Spill shit on them, in this case plot convience paint... but whoever built Mojo's suit thought of that or Mojo himself did as he has a setting to melt it off, a clever subversion of the usual tactics that gets batman a batassbeating. And that again shows Lloyd's style: even though we don't know exactly what he went away for, his style is all smash and grab: blunt force. He only beats the more experinceed combatant bruce in one on one. .because Bruce can't see him and dosen't hav etime to listen closely.. and even if he did it'd be too late. It's what makes "Some guy what got an invisible suit" work as a batman villian: Yes he's not as flashy and yes he has a simple gimmick.. but sometims all you need is a simple power. It's something I never thought about before but most of batman's clever gadgets.. are sight based. Even the gas bomb would only be mildly useful at figuring out WHERE he might be and with a full face mask, it woudln't do any actual damage, while Lloyd could pull down batman's gas mask and make him go sleepy bye. Batman.. isn't invincible and his stories are at their best when the writers remember that.

Mojo slinks back to his place and we get the shocking reveal that he's...

A guy who looks like a human ventriquist dummy? Did Slappy finally become human and end up fighting batman? Because i'd pay good money for that instalment of goosebumps, just saying.

No this.. objectively weird looking man is Lloyd Ventrix aka Kimmy's Dad. As a kid I found the idea of mojo creepy.. as an adult I find it deeply unerving. Part of this is having a passle of nieces and nephews, so the idea of an unstable man, let alone one the parent dosen't want seeing thier kids, sneaking to see them in a way their unaware of and that the kid impliclity trusts is fucking terrifyign. Part of it is just the idea of a person your trying to escape being able to find you and do whatever he pleases no matter how far you run is fucking horrifying. It's why the 2020 invisible man film is so good.. and so terrifying I haven't watched it since I saw it theatrically. It is a LOT on the nerves. It's also why both can coexist as this episode captalized on a different kind of fear: instead of an abusive ex, it's an abusive ex spouse who you are COMPELTELY unaware is contacting your kid till it's too late.

It's also what brilliantly creates the episodes tension: by the first commerical break WE know who this invisible man is to a point and what he wants, but not HOW he got invsible, or if Batman can solve the mystery of the how and who in time to get to Llloyd before he kidnaps Kimmie.

Before we move on i'd like to spotlight Lloyd's voice actor: While I always loved the performance here I didn't know the man behind the invsible man until this review.. and it was a nice reveal too: Michael Gross of Tremors and Family Ties fame. It's the latter that helps this role as in his scenes as "Mojo", Lloyd has that same kind warmth Gross had on Family Ties as Steven.. when he wasn't comically breaking down or reacting to his children's shenanigans. And that.. makes it ten times creepier coming from someone whose activley manipuating and stalking a child.

Not only that he transitions well to Lloyd in the rest of his life, wether it's his cockiness ast his power when fighting batman or his assuredness when trying to win back elizabeth, which we'll get to in a second. It's a brilliant performance that makes me wish he could've come back or they'd brought him back in another roll: Gross is just damn good portraying a man whose determined to get what he thinks he's owed no matter what it takes.. but can't understand WHY no one wants him around.

Case in point, that trying to win back his ex wife thing. He shows up at her work, and his defense to his wife understandably not wanting anything to do with him isn't "i'm changing as a person I just want a chance ot see my kid" or "I know I screwed up and you have every reason not to listen to me but hear me out" You know stuff that shows your contrite and genuinely reformed. Instead Lloyd shows he learned nothing from prison a his only response is "I got why you needed the restraining order when I was a bum but i'm bigger now". Yes really. Elizabeth tells him to shove it and stay way from his daughter then to just "disappear" unfortunately for her she's in a horror story and said something tragically ironic.

The good news is she's also in a batman story and thanks to plot convience turns out the inventor of the cloak of invsiblity pitched it to them last year, and he has his tech guy bring up the info on the man's assitant.

Batman decides rather than talk to said assitant, who could be the invisible man, to .. rifle thorugh the guys cabinets

Naturally when the man hears Batman bat rifling through his shit, he tries to throw a rack on him.. and batman's response to this entirely resonable reaction is

Gee your just.. so likeable bruce. Thankfully he does actually stop when the guy makes it clear he was here the last few days. And look jokes aside I get bruce dosen't know if this guy did it.. but there are more subtle ways to deal with this shit or someone understandably thinking your trying to rob them than the bat fist. There are better uses for the bat fist. And yes I meant that sexually, I will not be taking questions.

The Science Man explains that he's actually destroying all the fabric. Turns out while he was able to make it turn stuff invsible it's highly toxic. He was trying to correct that problem but coudln't, so he's destroying it. And i'm baffled why there was an entry on tv tropes saying "Well why can't he use it on cars" as we see it used. And to this I say this guy is picking up his old mentor's work, probably sunk a lot of money into remaking this and testing it, and has had some time to do so. If he COUDL salvage this project he would've.

Turns out Floyd was their old assitant though in a pompus way Science Man says he was "really more of an errand boy". Gee I can't imagine why he stole from you. Such a puzzler.

At any rate this slightly douchey science man has given Batman all he needs and he goes to talk to Elizabeth. To Bruce's credit his prorities are in order: he wants to save Lloyd from dying rather than get the jewels back.. I mean he will, he's the goddamn batman, but he'll save the guy who stole them first. Maybe punch him a bit.

Elizabeth connects the dots about the invsiblity suit and mojo.. but Lloyd's already one step ahead as during this scene he's been talking about taking kimmy to a special place

She does as he takes her to a drive in theater nearbye and plans to take her away but she dosen't want to get into a car with an invisible man. So he takes the mask off.. and credit to Kimmy she instantly realizes "Shit this wasn't my imaginary friend". I mean granted it probably wouldn't be BETTER if it was

Fun fact: I did not realize this was coming out the same week as this review. Dates are fun

Anyway, Kimmy realizes it's not just her imagination and won't run away with him, so he reveals himself as her father.. and her reaction is not what he expected

Yeah it turns out Elizabeth isn't stupid and it's something I love about the episode: Elizabeth didn't make that mistake you see in 87 percent of tv parents who don't trust their shady ex. She TOLD kimmy about him. She didn't hide it, she didn't try to keep ti as some dark secret so he can manipulate it later: She just told her in terms a kid would understand: her dad is a bad man and should not be trusted. Granted the fact he looks like if archie andrews became a vampire should tell her that but the point stands.

This is also the great tragedy of Lloyd Ventrix: he wants his family back.. but he can never understand WHY they don't want him back. Floyd could've worked his way back to his daughter by staying clean after prison, staying at his job, finding another if he didn't work for Errand Boy Man, which is a fair thing not to want. Am I saying it would've been remotely easy? No, our country isn't set up to help ex-cons and treats them like pariahs, like every former prisoner is lloyd when some genuinely want to change and others were victims of circumstance. But he could've had his daughter back or at least a CHANCE at it had he genuinely tried. Elizabeth is reasonable, while she wouldn't want him around the guy she'd at least give him a chance to see kimmy if it was shown he really changed.

That's the rub though: Lloyd dosen't WANT to change. He's a smash and grab guy and that's who he wants to be. It's in most things he does: He has an invsible suit.. yet uses it for smash and grabs and his fighting style when fighting the bat is hit him with a blunt insturment. or maybe it's more of an object. But i'ts blunt hard and blunt. He says he's not a two bit hood when talking to elizabeth.. but that's relaly ALL he is. He could've conquered the gotham mafia, conquered the city, or even gone the other way and became a hero himself, fighting to make the city better. He has all this power.. but he still thinks in terms of "how can I smash this thing in my way" "what can I grab". He's emotinally and creatively empty.. and thus he can't understand why Kimmy won't accept him just for being her dad.

As a production note, the only one I have for this episode Kimmy was SUPPOSED to be in the final chase scene for a bit, but standards and practices were like

Because a child's lost criminal father pretending to be her best friend and her being in danger every time he's in the room? That's fine. But oh no she can't have a car chase.

So Kimmy runs home to her mom and Batman and Llloyd begin tussling, with Lloyd turning the car invsible with him and a passerby assuming batman can fly now which.. is fair. I'm suprised he dosen't have a bat jet pack.. wait did he have a bat jet pack? Questions for later

Bruce takes another beating, begging lloyd to consider but it's clear he's drunk on his own power and we see while he's a blunt intersturment/object/whatever he is it's hard and blunt, he gets this suit means no matter where Elizabeth and Kimmy go they'll neve rbe safe. Thankfully for him Lloyd made the mistake of fighting batman on a water tower and Batman's able to douse him, shorting out the suit. It's a clever set up: While water is also a common invsiible man fighting tool, when explaning how it worse it runs on an electric currrent. It's probably why it has the dohicky to steam stuff off.. but LLoyd can't get rid of that much water and he's out

The ending is masterful as we get a repeat of the opening scene: Kimmy is once again talking to a special friend, telling him that their move is final and Lloyd will never find her again. The vistor exits.. but thankfully it was batman, and we get a nice echo of the first scene: this time instead of playing it off.. elizabeth's relieved. Kimmy lost an imaginary friend, lost a father.. but gained a batman.

See No Evil is excellent and highly underated: It's a tense tightly packed 20 minutes with a nice twist on the usual batman detective formula the show uses: we know WHO did it but it's all about HOW and if Batman can find out in time. Smart and Gross are fantastic in this and it results in a tense, eerie little tale packed with tension. It's 22 minutes of perfection and worth checking out if you have max.

Thanks for reading and i'll see you some bat time, same bat blog.

[writingsbychlo]

smoke and fire (07b)

word count; 7053

summary; as the tragedy of the chemical fire begins to wind down, the aftermath leaves the entire team in shock, and in need of a little comfort.

notes; this is the second half of part-7, I just know you guys are going to love it by the end.

warnings; minor character deaths, reference to panic attacks, vomiting, chemical fires.

Finally, the dam broke, and you tried to hold in the tears that wanted to release, the boy on the sheet twitching aggressively in his unconscious state as his body struggled to keep functioning. Your hands felt heavy as you pressed your hand over the neat stack of cards, dragging your hand over the pile and spreading it out to display all of the colours, before your fingers were brushing over what you were certain was the first of this colour card to be issued yet today.

A black card, feeling ominous in your hand, the weight of the card feeling more like bricks as you lifted it up, and you allowed yourself to shed the first tear. You didn’t want to tell Thomas, to let him know the real extensions of what you were seeing, but there was nothing for this boy that you could do. He wouldn't make it to a hospital or into surgery, his injuries were far too extensive, and so you let your legs stretch out from in front of you, the black card looped around his neck as you tried your best to make him comfortable.

The wipes you used were soothing instead of antibacterial, cooling skin that had been destroyed by flames, red and bleeding as you tried to soothe him, wiping away the traces of his injuries to try and clean him up.

There was a hope, that family was coming for him, that you were cleaning him up for a reason, helping him to look more presentable as you wiped traces of black ash and dust from his skin, all mattered in brown-red stains and sweat, tears under his eyes, and you removed it all.

It was moments like this that you had to remind yourself why you did this job at all, working along him carefully all the way to his fingertips as you wiped him down, adjusting the torn shreds of his clothes around him to hide the extent of his injuries as best as you could once you’d padded the deep slashes across his torso, bandages already beginning to seep through with red, but you adjusted his shirt down to over them. It wasn’t much of a disguise, but it was radically better than it had been.

Tanned flesh was beginning to lose colour and his body motions were beginning to grow fatigued, and once you had adjusted him as best as you could, you were simply left to wait, sitting by the young boy’s side, and whispered reassurances into his ear with every twitch he made, sometimes resurfacing long enough to feel his pain, back arching and screams of pain leaving his lips, and you bit back tears, before letting them flow freely once again when his pain carried him back a state of illusion.

You loved this job, because in 99 out of 100 cases, it worked out. You helped pregnant women escape elevator shafts and father’s life long enough to see their baby born too, and you helped kids escape a life they didn't want to be in, and have the courage to create a new path. You helped nurses of amnesia patients escape burning rooms when they’d given up all hope, and you saved the elderly from suffocation on the gas leaks within their own homes.

You were damn good at your job, but sometimes, there were moments like this one that made it all that much harder.

Making a mental note of where you lay within the chaos, you hauled yourself up onto your feet, families weaving around as they all made to seek out their family members, and you were glad to notice that less and less people were being removed from the building. As you weaved through the channels made in the grass, the green stands worn away under multiple foot and wheel prints into muddy dirty tracks that would take weeks to fix, you made your way towards the ambulance you’d arrived in.

The weight of your body was heavy, every footfall feeling like it weighed you down more and more, your arms hanging by your sides, and you knew that tomorrow you would be riddled with pain and aching muscles, the over-exertions, everything from fixing up simple wounds, to hauling around men who were 200lb of pure muscle to help move them into recovery positions or lift them onto stretchers when they were too weak or injured to do it themselves, workmen who were twice your size, and the strain was making itself known.

You were numb, for now, and it was a sweet and blissful relief to know that the racing of your heart was creating enough adrenaline to dull every pain you had. Well, except for the headache that had been throbbing behind your eyes for hours now and making you feel a little nausea, but you could handle that, as long as you were able to finish this day without anything else. You must’ve dealt with over a hundred people at least, possibly more, the workload doubled with Newt too, and you were ready to crash into your bed, dreading the hours of shift you still had remaining.

The flames were beginning to be tamed, the blue tint to the smoke was fading as the chemicals were burned away, thick clouds of black smoke as the orange glow died down, beginning to be extinguished. There wasn’t much equipment that you had needed before, and yet now, you were grabbing ahold of a heart rate monitor and an oxygen tank, the mask to match it, and one of the stretcher pillows that had been discarded to the front of the ambo’ to make more room on the trolleys.

Hooking the monitor under your arm, you moved it to sit comfortably balanced on your hip, before you were letting out a sigh, your fingers hovering over the drawer of medicines and needles that you hated going into. Newt had stuck a small skull and crossbones sticker over it, one that had an eyepatch and a pirates hat on it, a joke between the two of you after you’d gone through the drive-thru at McDonalds on the way back from a call only a few weeks ago, getting a collection of pirate stickers in a happy meal box.

That drawer was only ever dug into if all options were out, if you were simply trying to relieve some of the pain that a patient was in, because they were in agony, and wouldn't make it to the hospital. Enough to bring down someone's pain levels, to let their heart relax, because once their brain stopped fighting to keep them alive and hiding the pain, they often didn’t drive too long after that.

Swallowing thickly, the jars within rattled a little as they clinked against one another. Shifting through and turning them in your hands, you found the container labelled with the medicine you were searching for, a fresh needle in a plastic packet, and you held both of them in your other hand, adjusting the equipment in your arms as you hopped down from the vehicle once again.

Slamming the doors back shut and waiting to hear them lock behind you, your eyes flickered over the scene. There were still a lot of police officers; operating crowd control, handing out water bottles and guiding members of the family through the crowd. You would give it time, not injecting the poor boy with the medicine until it all became too much for him, giving him the best chance for his family to get here before he passed, but you couldn't wait long.

Your feet dragged a little as you walked, toes scuffing against the muddy grass, and you were beginning to lose all strength, forcing yourself to go on, muscles clenching to keep them tight before you dropped everything you were holding entirely. Arriving back at the scene, the boy was panting rapidly and lightly, eyes moving beneath closed lids and jaw clenched so tight you worried he would crack his teeth, fists clenched by his side as his body remained rigid.

Placing down the kit gently, you let out a little sigh, his eyes cracking open to turn to look at you as he heard the sound.

“I-It hurts!”

You swallowed, knowing there wasn’t much more you could do as his voice cracked. He was covered with burns, and there were clear signs of internal bleeding as the organs beneath charred skin went solid, there was bruising along his body in many places from the broken bones under his skin, and with the wheezing he let out, never quite able to catch his breath, you were certain that the cracked ribs had punctured one of his lungs. “I know, kiddo, I know.”

He cried out again, a wet sound as he coughed, his entire body jerking at the sensation, and you cupped a hand behind his head, fingers finding the sticky wetness of warm blood at the base of his neck as you tried to rock him forwards, letting him cough until splatters of blood were hitting his lap and the plastic, splattering a little across you as he wretched, his entire body trembling.

When he finally managed to stop the movements, he was even more out of breath than he had been, and you lay him back down, using a glove-covered thumb to wipe at the corners of his mouth and clear away the blood and spit mix that had accumulated there. He had wretched, several times, though no bile had risen, his body reacting in every way it could now as organs began to fail and shut down one by one, and you hated that there was nothing anyone could do but sit here on watch.

Minute felt like an eternity as you hooked up the heart monitor, turning the volume down to soft beeping, as not to disturb anyone else, an uneven and erratic rate with a blood pressure concerningly low, and you were glad that the average eye couldn't read these figures, because it read like a horror story in a medical professionals eyes.

Just as you finished hooking the boy up to the machine, an oxygen mask sitting over his face, fogging up lightly inside as he took gasping breaths of the raw source, you felt a shadow fall over you, covering your eyes from the light before you were looking up.

The mother, you could tell immediately, from the sullen look in her eyes, and she didn’t look at you, her gaze sweeping over the boy who lay beside where you knelt, before she was turning, a quick call to her husband, and just like that, you were crowded by family. There were three younger siblings, and he seemed to be the eldest of them all, a pre-teen with tears already in her eyes as she looked at her brother, a child who couldn't be older than eight staring in confusion as they tried to grasp what happened, and a toddler, a fist knotted in their father’s jumper and balanced on his hip.

Sinking to her knees beside her son, she didn’t sob or scream, she simply let out a shaky breath, lifting her hand to brush dark curls out of his face, looking down at her eldest child as he began to slip away again. Setting the youngest down, the toddler wobbled on unstable legs to their mother, sitting down in the grass beside them and reaching a hand out with useless babble to place a chubby hand onto the boy’s arm, squeezing a little and cheering as they lived within a bubble of innocence, unaware of what was happening.

“Can you tell me what’s happening?”

A deeper voice, the father, and you turned, nodding your head to him and shifting yourself to pick up the needle, tearing off the plastic top and producing the needle from inside. “I’m just going to give him a shot of morphine, and then we’ll talk.”

He only nodded, watching as you lifted the container, pushing the tip of the needle through the rubbery covering and drawing back on the syringe carefully to fill the needle with the approximate amount, tapping the tip and checking it over once it had the right dosage within it. Finding a spot on his arm where there was still enough intact flesh to find a vein, you pressed your finger down over the pale skin, the blue vein underneath disappearing for a second, refilling weakly but marking its place, and you lined the needle up.

An uncomfortable pang shot through you as you injected the needle into his arm, pushing the pad of your finger down against the handle of the needle until all of the medicine had been unloaded into his veins. It took a few seconds to travel, and you watched him, studying his reaction to be sure, before all at once his muscles loosened and he sagged with relief into the plastic tarp as the pain finally faded away, fingers flexing around his mother’s as he squeezed with what little strength he had left.

Standing up and wobbling a little, the father followed you a few steps away from the group, and he glanced back over his shoulder to his family, hands sticking into his pockets, before he was letting out a heavy sigh. “My boy, he’s not going to make it, is he?”

“No, he’s not.��� You whispered, and the man only nodded, a slow exhale from him as he processed that news, before tears were building in his eyes, and he began to crumble a little. “I gave him a shot of morphine, it’s slowed down all of his functions now, and taken away his pain. He can’t feel it now. I wish there’s more I could have done, I’m sorry.”

“My wife saw the news, saw the explosion. She was so worried, straight away.” A twist of guilt moved through you, making you sniff a little as your own lower lips wobbled, and you tried to choke down tears. “I told her she’d be okay, and that he was just an intern. There was no way he was close enough to the real stuff to be badly injured.”

“My friend found him, carried him out about fifteen minutes ago. Gave me enough time to let you get here to say your goodbyes.”

“You tell your friend ‘thank you’ for me, and for my family.” You nodded, knowing how much it would mean, and he finally let his tears slip free, making it harder for you to contain your own emotions. “He’s the oldest of all four, I don’t do much for a job. I’m just a mechanic, and his mother works at a supermarket, but he was going to college. He studied biomedical science, he was going somewhere.”

You grimaced, an unstable breath sucked into your lungs, before you were blinking quickly and looking away. There was bile rising in your throat, your hand gripping at your stomach to try and contain it. “I’m going to go now, and let you say your goodbyes. I’ll return soon, okay?”

You both knew what ‘soon’ meant, and he nodded, stepping away to talk to his wife, and a look seemed to be all that was needed to communicate between them, before the first of a loud cry was leaving her lips, and that was your breaking point. You shouldered through the people, mumbled apologised on your lips, you did feel bad for pushing through them all, but you could barely choke down the vomit rising within your guts before you were stepping out of sight, hunched over at the waist as you let it go, hand reaching out for supper as you found the tree.

Nails scraped against the bark, the pads of your fingers stinging at the rough pressure, and you shuddered as you heaved, throat stinging and eyes watering as you struggled to even breathe. It felt unending, time warping around you as you realised it had only been a half-hour since the boy had been delivered to you, and that he wouldn't make it to the hour marker.

A hand came down to rub at your back, and you gasped for breath, wiping the back of your hand, covered by your sleeve across your mouth and taking a moment to yourself. When you were finally able to stand back up, stomach feeling a little more stable as you tried not to think about the dying boy lest your nausea return, you twisted to find the person who had come to comfort you.

"Officer Paris." Your words couldn't get any higher than a whisper, and even that cracked, and his hand fell back down to his side as you wrapped your arms around yourself in comfort.

“Saw you take a sudden dash, got a little worried.”

You nibbled on your lower lip, a foul taste lingering in your mouth, and he offered up a water bottle for you, a weak laugh on your lips as you accepted it with a whispered ‘thank you’. As you took deep swigs, forcing yourself not to gulp as you slowed your racing heart, you watched as the fire teams began to load the equipment back into their trucks slowly, all the work they could do having been completed by now, and you knew that there was still a lot of work left for you to do before you’d get to follow after them.

“Everything okay?”

“Not really.” You whispered, screwing the lid of the water back on and holding it to your chest, using the cool liquid within to try and focus your senses. “We’re going to need a coroner down here. I know there’s some up in the building, but we have a kid, he’s not going to make it.”

“I’ll find one for you, okay?”

You appreciated the gentle tone of his voice, lowering your head to rub gently at your temples with one hand. “I should get back, we need to start getting people out of here.”

You could hardly focus as you walked back to your stations, everything seeming to slip from focus into some kind of daze as you tried to focus on what you were doing. You retrieved your bag, scooping it up from the floor and swinging it over your shoulder. There were coloured cards waiting to be collected, torn plastic bases and litters of water bottles in the mud, as well as lost personal belongings that had been forgotten in the rush.

Many people were still crowded around, waiting to be excused and waiting to get rides in an ambulance, the reds fading away into a majority of only green and yellow cards waiting, and you praised your lucky stars that you had only needed to give out one single black card today, because you weren’t sure that you’d even still be standing if there had been any more.

Flexing the fingers of your hand slowly, you focused on the sensation, head rolling from side to side, before your shoulders followed, and you loosened every single muscle you had for a tranquil moment, before setting to work. The sun was already beginning to fade on the day now, moving towards the horizon as the lighting dulled, hours having passed between caring for patients, and your first call was to begin getting people signed off.

Leaving your bag in the flooring of your seat in the ambulance, you collected a stack of forms and papers, as well as pens, taking them with you as you began to make your rounds of anyone who was left. As long as they were sentient enough to fill out discharge forms after you ran a final assessment, you could let them leave on their own as long as they had somebody with them, family or a friend, even just a neighbour or coworker, but it helped to clear out the crowds.

Newt joined you after an hour or so, having done his last assessment with the final patient, all the fire trucks being long since left, leaving police cars and vans scattered around, ambulances coming and going, and you had to ensure not to focus on the black vans with wide embossed lettering that brought a more sombre mood. Newt seemed to sense your pain, because he disappeared for a small while, returning not long after, and as you packed away equipment, the family you’d helped were now gone, the equipment you’d left with them was loaded back into the ambulance, and where words failed you, the look your friend gave you said it all.

He knew how much you’d suffered, he knew it would only cause more pain to go over and gather the equipment once the boy’s body had been cleared, and so he took care of it for you. A crew of policemen were on clean-up, as well as that of volunteers, only the shining lights of headlights and camera crew leftover as the light began to fade into darkness, and the scene was somewhat clean.

Lost belongings were piled into large plastic boxes with the police, and you filled out what felt like a bibles-worth of paperwork with the coroners, signing your name so many time your signature now just looked like a scribble rather than your name, before you were finally collapsing down into the somewhat uncomfortable cushioning of the ambulance’s passenger seat.

Silence took over your both, and as the truck started up, you left your head sway back into the headrest, eyes slipping shut as the rumble of the vehicle lulled you into as much relaxation as you could get.

As the adrenaline began to die down, you were able to feel the ache in your body, the pain that was seeping into every fibre of your body, every nerve and cell, exhaustion taking over. Raising a hand up to cover your mouth as you yawned, Newt chuckled softly, leaning over and patting your knee, before he was changing gears, and twisting on the radio to fill the cabin with the sounds of the classical music radio.

The trucks were parked away neatly within the garage bay when you arrived, the main doors up to anticipate your arrival, but the space was unusually empty, though it was understandable. After cells, members of the team could often be found milling around, sitting at the squad table and chatting, or working over the truck to check and clean equipment, filling the silence with laughter and jokes as they got along, but as you hopped out of the vehicle the second it was put into park, you were met with silence.

The echo of your door slamming shut reverberated around the empty foyer, Newt’s soon following, before he was rounding to your side, a sad look in eyes that normally sparkled brightly, and he let out a sigh. “I’m sorry about the kid. I really thought we were going to make it through the day without a black card today.”

“Did the coroner’s say anything about inside?”

“I didn’t even want to ask. We did everything we could, everybody did.” You swallowed thickly, nodding your head, and letting Newt loop an arm over your shoulders to pull you into his side, your head falling to his shoulder, and dragging your aching feet underneath you as you followed after him towards the locker room. You were stained with dirt, blood and grime, and you hoped the water was hot enough to soothe you and wash away your worries, already thinking about the muscle-relief body wash that you had hidden on the second shelf in your locker. “We could get in touch with the hospital, and see if everybody is okay?”

“You could call that hot doctor.” Newt squeezed you a little, a humourless laugh leaving you as you caught sight of his smirk, little energy to reciprocate the joke, but appreciating the way he lifted the mood nonetheless. “What was his name, again? David, Denny?”

“It’s Derek, and you know that.”

“Derek, that’s right.” He sighed, dreamily as he pushed open the door to the locker room, and the smell of multiple body-washes as well as the lingering heat from steam, signalling that the rest of your team had already been through the room and cleaned themselves up. Grabbing the towel and the bag of toiletries from your locker, you kicked off your boots, flexing your toes as your feet were liberated, and letting your socks follow. You were too lazy to even scoop your clothes up from the floor, stripping down to your underwear before wandering away to the shower, and closing the curtain.

Removing your final garments, you reached a hand back out of the closed stall, dropping them to the floor beside where your towel was hanging up, and twisting on the shower. Across the room, in the men’s showers, you heard Newt let out a loud and dramatic groan, a giggle on your lips as he did.

“I have never appreciated hot water more.”

“Speak your truth, Newt.” You teased, hearing his laugh as you stepped under the stream of water yourself, face tilted up into the spray and eyes closing, letting yourself be ridden of the day’s stresses. You didn’t want to look down, and see the colour that the water would run, you didn’t want to see any of it, the blood or the mud, you just wanted to let it all disappear, without having to acknowledge any of it again. Keeping your eyes closed, you reached for the wash-proof bag, unzipping it and feeling inside, fingers dancing over the bottles within to tell their shape.

Shampoo first, scrubbing through the tresses of your hair to remove the built-up grime, feeling the ponytail you’d put it in all slip away, the dull pain on your scalp soothing as your fingers massaged gently through your hair, pressing into the sore flesh, and you finally let a satisfied noise of your own bubble up. The squeaking of the doors on the other side of the room signified that Newt was finished long before you were, padding of wet feet, and as you moved onto the conditioner, you could faintly hear the slamming of his locker through the water as you washed the strands.

You didn’t hear when he actually left, the thundering of the water as it ran over your heart, the pounding of your own heartbeat inside of your head, but you sensed when he had left, the room feeling a little colder when you were alone. If a few stray tears escaped you to be washed away by the water when you scrubbed down your body and let the herbal soak absorb into your muscles, then nobody had to know, letting them be shed in honour of the boy who’d lost his life while trying to improve it.

You worked slowly and silently, wrapping the towel around yourself, and finding it a little easier to breathe as you wiped a space free in the steamed up mirror with your hand to be able to see. It was like a weight had been lifted from your chest, leaving you able to take your breaths more smoothly, less ragged and strained, and your headache was beginning to fade. You felt better for being clean, your entire body aching but a little more relieved and nowhere near as tense, and you sighed, hands gripping the edge of the sink.

It was hard to forgive yourself sometimes when you lost a patient, it was never easy to watch someone die, but you’d done everything you possibly could to make it easier, and thanks to your team, he’d seen his family before he passed, and that was a blessing that made everything feel easier to bear.

Taking care of your skin and running a comb through the towel-dried strands of your hair, you were almost falling asleep as you dried it. The repetitive humming of the hairdryer was enough to make your eyes close and mind stop spinning, coming to a halt as everything began to slip from consciousness, your muscles feeling heavy for an entirely new reason, and you jerked yourself back away several times.

Following it all, you grimaced at the taste in your mouth, the bitter aftertastes of your physical reaction to the day still lingering, and so you were generous with the dollop of toothpaste you served yourself as you scrubbed lazily at your teeth and rinsed out your mouth. Scooping up your clothes and pulling on your spare set, you shoved everything grubby and used into your bag to take home, swapped with your fresh clothes, but you didn’t get dressed entirely.

Deep down, you knew that Vince wouldn’t mind if you slacked on your uniform just this once, and so for comfort, instead of pulling on another smart button-up uniform shirt, you went for your hoodie instead, the worn logo of your college in the top corner as it faded, a hole in one sleeve that your thumb would fit through, your hair pulled from underneath the collar to sit limply around your shoulders.

You didn’t care for boots, either, two pairs of socks to keep your feet warm, before you were pulling the sleeves down over your hands, and wandering away to the main room, to try and find your team, and seek reassurance and company within their presence. It was unsettling quiet in there too, only the sounds of Newt’s pen tapping on the table as he worked silently on the puzzles in the newspaper, and the sounds of the almost muted television that Thomas was staring at, one of the older ‘Star Wars’ movies playing on the screen, but from the way he was staring at it, you knew his mind was miles away.

There were only seven in the room, including yourself. Gally and Chuck were playing chess at the kitchen counter, Newt doing the puzzles and Thomas watching television, and Brenda was sitting at the other end of the table with Minho, the two of them each with their headphones in and listening to music, but sitting close enough to one another to seek comfort, and your lips flicked up a little, happy for them, taking it at their own pace. You weren’t sure where everyone else was, but logically, you would assume that they would be sleeping the day away.

Moving across the room, you reached immediately for the kettle, ruffling Chuck’s curls as you passed by, and he huffed under his breath, but a smile was on his flushed cheeks as you glanced back at him, a friendly wink for his complaints, before you were filling the tank up under the tap. Once it was clicked on and beginning to boil, you began to search through the cupboards for what you wanted, smiling as the ingredients came together.

Placing a pan on the stove, you flicked the flame onto the lowest setting you could get, and adding milk to the pan to begin to warm through, without boiling over. Opening up a bag of marshmallows, you popped on into your mouth, chewing at the squishy treat happily, and opening up the cupboard filled with assorted mugs, finding your favourite.

As you found the one you searched for, you placed it down on the counter, before another was following, and another, until there were seven mugs lined up in front of you, all mismatching in size and colour, some with pictures, patterns or writing. A generous spoonful of chocolate powder into the bottom of each one, your personal collection of hot chocolate ingredients, but you were willing to share just this once.

With a splash of boiling water, just enough to dissolve the powder, you topped each one up with the milk as soon as it began to froth around the edges, heated all the way through, and leaving a gap at the top. A sprinkle of marshmallows on the surface of the steaming beverage, and a spray of whipped cream into a pretty swirl, you decorated the top of each one with a few more marshmallows and a dash of chocolate dusting.

They weren’t perfect, there were drips of chocolate and cream along the edges, and they certainly weren’t anything you would serve at a restaurant, but as you placed one down in front of both Gally and Chuck, the looks on their faces were more than enough to confirm that they didn’t care about the appearance.

There was surprise on their features, brows raising as they looked between you and the hot beverages, whispered ‘thank yous’ as their fingers wrapped around it, pulling the mugs towards themselves and staring down at them, small smiles taking over. Minho had the same reaction, and Brenda stopped her music long enough to wrap you into a tight hug as you offered one to her, before Newt was sighing out happily, his head rolling back to look up at you when you'd placed a mug down in front of him. He’d given you a cheesy grin, and told you just how much he loved you, before taking a large gulp, and cursing a little as it burned his tongue, but not letting it deter him from repeating the action, and getting a print of whipped cream along his upper lip to be licked away.

Taking the last of the drinks to be given away, you made your way over to the couch. Thomas had seemingly had the same idea as you, a jumper on and the hood pulled up over his head to hide his face, and he jumped as you placed a hand onto his shoulder. You squeezed in apology as he turned to look at you, the sombre look on his face lightening a little bit as he tried to offer you a smile, twisting to face you a fraction more.

Rounding the edge of the couch to hand him the drink, surprise flickered over his features, before he was taking it into two trembling hands, and bringing it up to his nose to sniff lightly. He poked his tongue out, fishing a marshmallow and a scoop of whipped cream from the top, and he hummed contentedly at the flavour.

“Thank you.”

His voice cracked as he spoke, and you hoped the smile on your face didn’t look too pitying, only able to nod your head as he stared up at you, blowing on the steamy liquid as the cream melted, and your fingers rubbed gently at his shoulder where you still held on, before your hand was sliding away, stepping back a little, and his eyes snapped up from the drink to you, brows furrowing, before he was reaching a hand out, wrapping around the wrist that had been closest to him, and bringing you to a halt.

“Will you sit with me? Please?”

“Of course, I will. Let me just go and get my drink, okay?” He paused in releasing your wrist, fingers unwrapping slowly, and he took a sip of his hot chocolate as he settled back into the cushions. Grabbing at your drink, Newt watched as you went, his brows raising as you caught his eye, and you shrugged, the porcelain hot in your hand as you held onto it, almost enough to burn, and you switched to gripping the handle, swirling it a little to mix the melted cream into your drink.

Sinking down into the couch beside him, he shuffled a little closer, your legs folding under you until his thigh was pressing to your knee as you faced him, mug placed down on the table, and he leaned forwards, matching the positions, before he was running a hand over his face, and letting his gaze find your own.

“Are you okay, Thomas?”

“Not really.” He mumbled, looking completely and utterly exhausted, and you felt sorry for him, true empathy surging through you, and propped your head up on your hand, elbow on the back of the couch, as you looked at him. “You know, I think you lied to me. I think you told me what I needed to hear in the moment, but I don’t think it was the truth.”

You sighed, a short exhale as you tried to find words, and his lips flicked up at the sides, head dipping for s second, before he was looking up shaking his head slightly.

“I’m not mad. You knew what was best for me. I needed you, and you didn’t fail me. Thank you.” He whispered, the words just for you, and your lips pursed, feeling a little flustered at the way he stared at you; earnestly, eyes searching your own. “Will you tell me what happened, though?”

“You don’t want that, Thomas.”

“I do. Please, just tell me about the kid.” His request was desperate, and there was a silver lining to the incredibly dark cloud, thunder and lightning swirling within, and he choked down the lump in his throat as your shoulders sagged.

“He went comfortably. He didn’t feel a thing. I promise.” His eyes closed, a shaky breath let out, and his face screwed up a little as he tried to hold in his tears. He sniffled, before letting out a weak sigh, knowing that he was failing, and as he blinked, his lashes came back wet, a large tear falling along pale cheeks, before another was following. “His parents, they saw it on the news. They came right down, and his mother held his hand as he passed. He got to see his siblings, and his mom and dad. He didn’t die alone.”

He let out a weak cry, and you heard the shuffling at the table, the rustling of the papers as Newt moved, but his chair didn’t scrape across the floor yet, clearly waiting to judge whether or not his best friend needed him or not first.

“His dad was so proud of him, Thomas. He was the oldest of four, he was making all of them so proud, and thanks to you, he passed on peacefully.” Honey eyes that were encased with red opened up to meet your gaze, lower lip wobbling a little as he released it from where it was held between his teeth, and in this moment, he was weak. He wasn’t the lieutenant of the team, he wasn’t a leader or a fighter, he was just a man who’d experienced a tragedy. “You saved him, Thomas. You made his last moments something peaceful and meaningful.” You paused, waiting a second longer, letting him calm himself. “He told me to thank you, on behalf of his family.”

“He did?” You nodded, and his lips flicked up at the sides, a hint of a smile. Lifting a hand, you wiped away his tears, brushing your fingers over wet skin, before you were cupping one of his cheeks in your palm, and his eyes fluttered shut, leaning into your touch as he let out a shaky breath. “How do you do that?”

“Do what?”

He smiled, softly, twisting his head to press more into your touch, and you swept your thumb over his face, tracing soft and damp skin, the pad brushing lightly over the upturned tip of his nose, and his face scrunched up a little at the ticklish feeling. “How do you always know just what to say to make me feel better?”

“I don’t know, it just comes to me, I guess. What you need to hear, it’s always just the truth.”

“Thank you.” He mumbled, lashes fluttering as his eyes remained closed, relaxing into your touch, and the cushions on the other side of you dipped. Glancing over your shoulder, you chuckled a little as Brenda sat down, leaning over to wrap an arm over your waist, her head coming down to rest on your shoulder, and she turned the volume on the movie up, cuddling into you a little as she sought out comfort too, a chuckle on your lips as she did.

You shuffled, sitting to face her a little more, and Thomas moved with you, keeping his face tucked into your hand, before Newt was following. On the other side of the couch, Newt slumped down, patting Thomas on the back lightly, before kicking his feet up on the coffee table, and reaching across to take Thomas’ hot chocolate, the brunette completely unaware of the theft that had taken place. Gally sat in the armchair, and Minho sat on the edge of the couch, arm stretched out along the back of the couch behind Brenda’s head, and Chuck sat on the floor.

Nobody said anything, nobody needed to, as you all simply watched the movie that had been chosen, letting the day be washed away as you served out the rest of your shift, ready to go home, and let a bad day be washed away by many more good days to come. Pulling your hand back for just as second, Thomas let out a noise of discontentment, his eyes cracking open to peer at you, a frown forming on his lips.

Lifting up a little higher, you pushed his hood down, adjusting it around his shoulders carefully, and you could feel his gaze lingering on you as everyone else watched the movie, leaning in just an inch, nothing noticeable, but enough to keep the bubble between you both, and your fingers laced into his hair.

A rumbling of bliss left him as your nails scraped lightly at his scalp, playing lightly with his hair to soothe him, the strands still very faintly damp from his shower, and he simply stared at you, head tipping into your hand as his body began to loosen of tension.

“I got you, Thomas, don’t worry.”

He didn’t respond, the first genuine smile you’d seen since the beginning of the shift being offered to you, his eyes closing, and he lifted a hand to wrap around your wrist delicately, fingers smoothing up along the back of your palm, resting over your hand and holding it lightly as you played with his hair. Turning your head to the movie, your attention was split, between what was happening on screen, and more overwhelmingly, with the intense feeling of belonging that was flooding you, never having felt more welcome than you did right now.

[loving-villanelle]

im so sorry i know this is gonna be a lot to be read but ok. here's what i think about where they took the story post-bridge scene and why it was the right move

from season 2 to season 3, we see something change in their relationship. there was always attraction but it becomes explosive, irresistible. it was established in 3x03 when they kissed that their relationship had turned into something they couldn't control anymore. and then they didn't talk again until the finale where eve all but gives herself to villanelle! like she was READY on the bridge to go all in with her. but of course it's villanelle now who's struggling with her own journey and suggests they resist giving in to want they both desperately want (and know each other wants it).

but ok here's my point... the message season 3 leaves us with is that eve finds it nearly impossible to resist her desire for villanelle anymore. they couldn't even be in the same vicinity without eve kissing her, or asking her to slow dance, or nearly giving in altogether on the bridge. SO IT MAKES PERFECT SENSE for season 4 to start out with them not having much screentime together! hear me out like

if, after the bridge scene, they had just become buddies working together every episode, tension slowly building until they finally give in?... it would have totally undermined what developed in s3! which was this all-consuming desire and inability to resist each other.

4x02 clarifies that this is the case--since eve can't be in the same room with her without reigniting that flame, even after the months she spent trying to move on. so THATS why they haven't had many scenes together yet. seasons 3 and 4 of killing eve are doing something totally unique and different from any show i've ever seen--centering everything around the irrestistible desire these women have for each other, instead of doing the easy thing which would be just putting them on screen together. but when they do finally get screentime in these last 4 episodes, it will be totally consuming. like eve said.

so yeah!!! to me, the direction they have taken in season 4 is much more powerful and interesting and exciting than just having them be in a relationship in 4x01, or otherwise slowly building up to it. s3 showed that there's nothing slow or cautious about them anymore like how it was in season 2. and so far this season eve has been losing her goddamn mind over villanelle, and i can't wait for these last few episodes to see the walls she has so valiantly tried to build come crashing down. i promise it's gonna leave us speechless i'm so confident ok trust me!!!!

if the next couple episodes are shitty then you can i told you so 😂😂 i've got my clown suit on standby but. i truly believe they are going to bring this show home and its gonna be incredible

That does make sense from Eve's perspective, but not really from Villanelle's. I think Villanelle got to a place where she was selfless enough to give Eve the opportunity to walk away, but I don't think she would've been capable of walking away after Eve turned back. Obviously something happened where they start off the season apart (hard to say how they got that way since we have zero idea what happened post-bridge), but it just doesn't seem like Villanelle would've walked away from the possibility of Eve wanting more, which is what Eve turning around seemed to indicate...not wanting to let go.

That aside, it also doesn't really explain Villanelle's journey this season. We were told that she's been trying to be good so she can win over Eve, but that wipes out the acceptance that occurred on the dance floor and the bridge. So how did Villanelle get it in her head that she needed to be good or Eve wouldn't accept her?

It's details like these that drive me insane, because the writers probably don't want viewers to deep dive into that stuff too much, but we do. And again while what you said makes sense from Eve's side, I just don't see how we got to this place from Villanelle's end.

I do appreciate the perspective you provide and it makes sense in a large picture sort of way, but if I start looking at the details too much the pieces start to crumble a bit lmao. I hope we get a moment of clarity soon, because it's been rough to be Villaneve shipper so far this season

[mc-critical]

One of my most favourite confrontations between Mahidevran and Hürrem in the series is the one after Mahidevran sent Olga to Süleiman in episode 61. It's both fun, yet filled with meaningful character dialogue, managing to successfully deliver a thematic message that eventually finds its retroactive way, despite of it all seeming like a yet another smackdown fest by Hürrem at first.

The scene begins with their typical confrontational energy, the rivalry chemistry immediately paves its way forward. Hürrem is ready to face her for what she did and Mahidevran, while not being interested at first, goes with her flow regardless, setting the mood for what follows.

Hürrem: You've sent a concubine to his majesty.

Mahidevran: I'm replacing Valide. Pleasing his majesty is one of my duties.

Hürrem: Let God not give you other worries. Do you want to cover the lack of your femininity this way?

Mahidevran seems very engrained in her role as the head of the harem and connects it with her own desire to take revenge for her wounded pride and for all the pain they caused her. The first excuse she finds for sending Olga to SS refered to the rules and tradition that give her that right, but we know by context that there's something else going on, this was both a move driven by her vendetta and a provoked move - she decided to do this after Hü told her she's the one ruling the privy chamber and perhaps Mahidevran accepted it as a challenge to her power, because, honestly, I doubt she would've attempted such a thing if she weren't provoked like this. Hürrem, on the other hand, gives her own "interpretation" as to why Mahidevran took action. To be blunt, it sits wrong with me right from the start, because it demonstrates a huge amount of internalized mysoginy on full display and it's sad, in a way, that this is what the system encourages at the moment - you're nothing if you sleep alone in your bed, if you don't have the sultan's back. There's a glimmer of possibility Hürrem said it only to render Mahidevran vulnerable and one could understand where she comes from, since she has experienced quite a lot of similar offenses from that same person. And when a confrontation of the like occurs, her first instinct is to think of a comeback, to pull rank and highlight why she's better than her like she does in all their encounters in this batch of episodes. That hardly excuses or whitewashes this statement, though, because for a person who has been shown to fight the system and call out prejudice (even though it was mostly only she was subjected to it or it was about something that concerned her specifically), seeing that she had absorbed some of it and applies it without a second thought leaves a sour taste for me.

Mahidevran: Worry about your own problems, Hürrem. Did you really think his majesty couldn't be with other women?

Hürrem: This is impossible.

Two major beliefs of Mahidevran and Hürrem's characters come on the surface: they drive the dialogue and help the rest of the scene unfold the way it did. Mahidevran brushes off Hürrem's last statement and brings back tradition to the forefront, which begins to highlight a belief of hers that she shared with Valide, that there is a constant cycle in the harem that no one, not even Hürrem, is capable to entirely break. To Hürrem it's impossible for SS to ever have other women at this point, it's something unthinkable for her already. She feels she has fully broken that cycle.

This scene, unlike the confrontation in episode 58, has well done retroactive irony while serving the context of the episode it's in in a plausible enough way that doesn't seem showed in just for the sake of it. The context of the episode puts Hürrem in the right by showing Olga returning from SS's chambers almost immediately after Hürrem says: "This is impossible." and it's the place where this plot-line transitions to another one, leaving the rest of the confrontation to hang in the balance for a while. Maybe SS had truly given up taking other women ever since the wedding, as shown by this and SS refusing another concubine sent by Valide in the wedding episode.

However, we know that this stops being the case later on and whether it's through the decision to bring in yet another drama tool, yet another annoying stretched narrative opposition in the face of the concubine arcs, it's a fact and we could say that this scene ends up being a good enough framework to set us up for it, intentionally or not.

Mahidevran: Then why is there a concubine in his chamber?

Hürrem: What concubine? Maybe that one?

This, to me, is a demonstration of how the tables can turn in the harem at literally any moment. Meryem Uzerli's little amazing, subtle facial expression says it all. When Mahidevran asks the question, we see for a very split second that Hürrem's wondering how to refute her until the concubine appears in the heat of the argument due to sheer luck. Like, if she had already returned to her rooms before the scene occurred, it would've gone much differently! This isn't all that important here, but I love how Meryem showed a slight probability for Hürrem to lose the argument, which contrasts with all her confident remarks before and after this moment. It's just very neat stuff.

Hürrem: Many girls were introduced to his majesty. Among them, there was even a princess. Where are they now? Look around you. You will not see anyone but me.

Speaking of confident remarks, there comes another one of Hürrem's that no matter how many concubines came, they all went and now there is no one other than her. This line further sets a consistent trend of ambiguity, because she's right in the context of the episode and it encapsulates the resolution of these particular plot-lines of Hürrem and Süleiman in the season and we can get behind her words overall both in the arc and in rewatch, in spite of the retroactive irony, but she's wrong in that it's the end of her harem fights, very far from it, as season 3 and season 4 prove. She hasn't completely won yet, even though she sets the impression that she has.

What I also find interesting in this scene is the back and forth throwing of past - present - future between the two sides. They make a perfect showcase of what these characters represent, their states, their losses, their desires, their hopes, dreams and philosophies. Here, in example, Hürrem makes a reference to a part of her obstacles in the past, acknowledging that they were there regardless, but then she immediately goes back to the present with "Where are they now?". Nowhere in the scene she considered the possibilities of the future, the sheer probability that it all may change one day (as it happened, in many ways, through Firuze), focusing on the currently undeniable truth the present day presents.

That same throwing back and forth continues, but with another note which instantly places the two women against each other again:

Mahidevran: I was also loved once, Hürrem. Mustafa is the fruit of that love. Ask Gülfem Hatun if you want. She will tell you how much she suffered because of me.

Hürrem: You always tell this story.

Unlike Hürrem, who only references the past, Mahidevran laments it and takes pride in it, it being the highlight of her once beautiful life. But we know what went down afterwards, adding in the possibility that maybe, it would all be temporary and what one may have now, may change, because Mahidevran was also in Hürrem's position once. Hürrem however, calls out her fixation on the past, in a similar fashion to how she has done it before (E59: "Are you being proud of your past now? Let me remind you: You're still a slave."), what she had doesn't matter, it's the now that is important to Hürrem, which is a solid thematic note to her character arc.

Though, we have this line of dialogue in response:

We here notice that no matter how long it took for them to do it, Mahidevran and Hürrem actually had parallel arcs, in terms of letting go of the past. This line makes for such a striking revelation of Mahidevran's emotional state from her perspective that only continued what episode 46 hinted at and episode 55 directly started. (E55: "I ripped out the love I had of your father of my heart, I threw it into the sea! He doesn't matter to me anymore. Now you are the only one in my heart.") It's rather surprising that she says these words now - Mahidevran's rule of the harem is arguably her at her worst, doing what she does out of the last ounces of her wanting payback for the sad, bitter years. It's precisely what she lost that motivated her, that was a sure part of the reason she sent Olga to SS and yet, we have that honest confession, that grasp of acceptance. Mahidevran's battle with SS was lost very early on and it took her very slow and gradual development for her to accept it and by E61, she was doing the last steps to do so. She tries hard to convince Hürrem that no matter how hard she tries, there is a cycle in this harem that cannot be changed, Mahidevran has come to terms with it, so Hürrem has to do the same. In a way, she was probably trying to say that they both have been fighting a losing battle and she expresses a small amount of sympathy over it, too - she knows what it's like and it's hard, but it's like some unwritten law that it's not worth it in the end and that everyone gets affected by it, without exception. That's how she begins to look upon her present and show a hint of the future.

Out of the particular context, this line could be a very nice stronger endorsement of the franchise's themes, because, truly, no one ever got a good, triumphant, heroic ending. And it was like a cycle: everyone had to face the feelings of sorrow, grief and loss, everyone had to suffer in this time period, everyone dies. Gülfem called Hürrem's life a fairy tale in E134, but that "fairy tale" came to an end after her death. And if we leave that aside, there is hardly a breather episode even for the biggest of victories, no matter how many victories you've won, they would always "have their end", the narrative would always condemn them one way or another.

Mahidevran: One day a woman will appear and would destroy your indestructible love!

The future is finally put on the front with the scene overall and with Mahidevran herself. It's a continuation of her belief that Hürrem would be "detroned", regardless of all. Thing is, she also doesn't consider her own future, only the one of her rival's. She believes in her own victory that is opposed in the present, but would surely come in the future, a belief she holds until the end of the series. Even though I doubt the writers planned Firuze's existence right back then per say, this line sounds like such foreshadowing to her in retrospect, which makes Mahidevran both right and wrong with this quote. Firuze caused an actual continuous rift between Hürrem and Süleiman, making her doubt his love in ways she hadn't before. Nazenin comes into the picture, as well. But no one truly succeeds to properly destroy the love between Süleiman and Hürrem and they managed to prevail, despite of all the narrative opposition. She still stayed the most dear woman to SS's heart, no matter what. There is a slight possibility of Mahidevran judging the situation one hundred percent to herself here, claiming rather that the appearance of another woman would make Hürrem fall out of love with SS and destroy that, instead, just like it was with her, but since Mahidevran called the same line back during the Firuze episodes, I think she was referring to the rift Firuze would cause and how would Hü fall deeper and deeper.

Hürrem: Mahidevran, don't think of me as your equal.

This line is very telling in that Hürrem considers herself different than everyone else. It has always been a part of her character, perhaps a running reminder of her unprecedented elevation in the system she's telling us about through words. And most of the interpretations I've encountered of this line are exactly this: it is epic, badass, it is delivered in such a shading sassy way that could only be respected or applauded. However, it is just as possible for this infamous one-liner to be presented as the culmination of not only her persistent insistence to assert herself as different and special, but her continuous unwillingness to be compared to anyone else in the harem. And usually she's compared to guess who? Mahidevran. She doesn't want to even think of the possibility to be compared with her by this point (starting from E40 where after she was freed, she said: "Now I'm not equal to you." right to Mahidevran's face and continuing forward into S03 with: "I told you not to compare me to others, to Mahidevran never!" -it was something like that), but at first, which is now probably buried deep within, she feared becoming like Mahidevran. She repeated "I'm not Mahidevran!" when she was out of favor like with the Russian concubines, Mahidevran's words that she would make the same mistakes she did echoed in her head during the Isabella arc in episode 31 and earlier had a nightmare of Süleiman giving the emerald ring to Mahidevran instead of Hürrem in a completely parallel scene. (there's also the other nightmare where Mahidevran was taunting Hürrem to tell her about Leo.) Hürrem dreaded all of those things happening and tried her very best to avoid the very thoughts of it. Now, in a season nearly full of victories in her part, she had gained the belief that whatever happens, she'll always stand above the others. She wants to give off the vibe that no one would ever stop her. She has broken so many traditions and the narrative is currently rooted at her favor, all well and good, right? This line could be a mask, in a way, hiding the fear of being rejected just like the others (that doesn't completely disappear, seeing her suicide attempt in E72; also E106's menopause plot.) and striving to leave it behind her, now reaching its peak by putting not only Mahidevran, but the rest of the women into the picture, without a second of realization of the implications it causes, because well, who else was given such special attention by the Sultan? Who else was freed, who else had such a marriage, who else got out of death's door so many times, who else overcame everything, who else had a chance to "rain as fire" over all her enemies? Even though the quote applies on a much grander scale in execution, in later seasons and the way it got called back to in MCK, I feel, in this particular context, it refers to the harem and Süleiman specifically - his majesty doesn't need any other women, there is no such woman that could take away what Hürrem has and even if they stand together, they wouldn't stand a chance, because Hürrem is that massive and powerful.

The retroactive irony hits hard and here: she's right in the events of this particular episode, but the subsequent events definetly tell a different story. Hürrem's influence and power is acknowledged, especially in her last episodes, but that she's the only one capable of having such power is not necessarily true, given the existence of the SOW, some members of which reached more highs than she did, due to the evolving extent of power they could exercise in the system.

Mahidevran: Your arrogance will end you, Hürrem! One day when you're suffering in pain, I'll remind you this!

Hürrem: Mahidevran, you're not here anymore. You'll be leaving soon!

Mahidevran: You're not powerful enough for that!

The focus on the present and future is back with this quick, but substantial exchange. Mahidevran seems to count completely on what will happen in the future in the first line, while Hürrem accounts for both the present and the future, seemingly in accordance, and Mahidevran brings the confrontation back to the present, for what Hürrem talks about is currently unattainable. These lines look like a brief summary of what was established before about the beliefs of both characters: they both desire the end of one another - for Mahidevran it would happen eventually, because Hürrem would end herself in her eyes and Mahidevran would live for this moment and even witness it (and while she didn't witness it exactly, she lived and outlived them all, because there would be no death for her until they get what they deserve, a belief that carries on the strongest in season 4); for Hürrem it has already happened, but it would keep going, fueling her will to get rid of all her enemies and being in conjunction with the ongoing plot arc itself, for her attacking her enemies in all fronts in ways she hadn't before. The last line of Mahidevran's stops the dialogue between both of them for good (followed by Hürrem's smug grin), resting back on her current position, that is also how her whole set of dialogue began in the first place. Even though there was a hint of realization that she has been fighting a losing battle a while before, the part of hers that would prefer not going to the sanjack than give up now, is directly reflected on. It sets more of a parallel between how both of them are, because Mahidevran told Hürrem that arrogance would end her a few seconds ago, but now she's the one that demonstrates this same arrogance herself, starting to underestimate her own opponents yet again, simply because she rules the harem. Claiming that Hürrem doesn't have the power to send her to the sanjack by force, is true, actually, because Ibrahim interfered at the last moment, but this way Mahidevran seems to brush off Hürrem's victories completely, somehow convincing herself that she's forgotten how far has Hürrem gone and just like her rival, thinking of herself as unstoppable. (that goes on the season finale, too, where she says: "If you're powerful enough, face me by yourself!".) This attitude more or less cemented her downfall in this arc, as it would cement major flaws of Hürrem's in the future.

And then they're stopped by... Süleiman himself and I love that, because they have to stop because he comes, they have to stop because he's watching them and give him the necessary respect. Symbolically, it could be a showcase of him being the decider of everyone's fates and them having to accept his will at the end of the day.

And after he leaves, of course, Hürrem and Mahidevran prepare to carry on with their bickering, as they usually do. While that's the end of the whole confrontation, their expressions tell us it's not over yet.

It's particularly interesting, even as a confrontational scene alone: it's longer than many of the confrontational scenes between them, it speaks more volumes about the opposing sides than any other of the kind has dreamed to. While I love Mahidevran and Hürrem's chemistry, I wish there were more scenes like this one, more nuanced interactions than vitriol and constant, almost formulaic smackdowns. Because, to me, this whole confrontation, while simple at hindsight, raised the bar to what could we have had. The rivalry of the two ladies is fascinating on a thematic level and not exploring its depth further, would be a myriad of wasted opportunities.

This scene did right all you could think of: composition, soundtrack, attention to detail, chemistry, dialogue and opposing two sides on a respectful, unbiased, while narratively provoked, way. I adore the way it aged: as I said, it created a perfect blend between context of the episode/plot arc and retroactive irony and the mix of cause and effect of soapy intrigues, character exploration through lines and all the coming thematic stuff, while being filled with dynamic and fun energy. And it's absolutely sublime for it.

[echo-three-one]

Whatever It Takes : RELOADED

Augustus' burner phone is the key to locating Nero but the team discovers that it's more than just Nero that's behind all of this. Will the former 141 soldiers find out what Nero is up to? Will Alex rescue Samantha?

Table of Contents

Hello! Ray's Back in his game!

Chapter 16 to another story made by Ray (echo-three-one) Comments and Reviews appreciated! I hope you enjoy! Love you all ❤️

My Damsel in Distress

"Alex"

Task Force 141 - Disbanded

On a plane off to somewhere

General Shepherd.

The name sent Alex's blood boiling from rage. He couldn't believe that a high ranking official would actually betray them and could still run away from it.

It's no secret that he wanted 141 out of the Nero scene. But why? He knew full well that Samantha doesn't have access over the address but he still took her? And he also knew that this little team won't walk away without her safe. Alex wondered what's running inside the snow-caterpillar-stache's little brain. He couldn't even say his name now.

He clenched his fists, feeling the thick leather gloves he wore for battle. It was a devastating day for him. They just bonded for a few moments here and there and now she’s already taken away from him. He couldn’t keep count how many times it happened. It was frustrating.

“So, which safehouse are you bringing us today?” Alex joked with his former CO. Jack looked serious as always, he never gets these kinds of humor.

“Same one in Brazil. It’s the most forgotten and spacious. No one’s going to come looking for us in South America.” Jack replied, looking worriedly at Alex.

“I know when you’re preoccupied Alex. What happened afterward?” Jack turned to him and Alex knew he had to open up. He deserved the truth anyway.

“I uh… I fell for her, Jack. I know I told you that I won’t but it just hit me.”

“Like a fucking brick…” Jack interrupted and chuckled.

“All I can say is that you’ve done a better job than I did when I fell in love. I could still see your determination towards your work. Or maybe because she’s still involved in all of this.” he added, causing Alex to relax his tensed shoulders.

“It’s good to have you back, old man.” Alex shook his hand and smiled. With all the problems around him, it was good to have someone close to him to talk to. He was glad Nero didn't kill him back in the Gulag.

“Yeah. Me too, and it looks like you’ve got yourselves a determined bunch. Especially that guy.” he noted, pointing to Soap who was sitting with France. Alex remembered how the two of them met at the Gulag and in that short span of time Jack was able to read the whole guy’s personality.

“Soap? Yeah, he’s an achiever. Heard he’s top of every obstacle course back at the base.” Alex mused, looking at the two. They were sitting together quietly but Alex felt jealous. He could've been doing that with Samantha right now. Now that she's ready to hear the truth about them.

"Yeah. He's got some fight in him. I'm sure we'll defeat Nero even with this little band right here. And I'll do my best to be of assistance to you." he patted Alex's shoulder and went back to check on Nikolai.

~

Safehouse 110197, Brazil

Alex remembered that this place was compromised, but then again that was the CIA mole's henchmen that found them here and they're no longer affiliated with Nero. Or he picked this place because no one would think of going back here after being compromised. The Reverse Psychology card. Either way, Alex didn't mind.

As the team slowly scattered around the house and prepared everything, Alex took note of some changes since his last visit. More beds were added and supplies got restocked. Even the bullet cache looked reloaded.

The team loaded off everything they salvaged, or stole, from the 141 and set it all up. Ghost prioritized the tech stuff while the women fixed the bedrooms. Alex offered help but was denied by Gary saying "Your face still hurts so don't over exert yourself, we can do this on our own."

So Alex plopped by the central couch as Ghost untangle the wires, putting them on their respective slots.

"You holding up okay?" The masked man asked as soon as Alex released a deep sigh.

"I'm worried about Samantha." he replied, resting his hands on the back of his head.

"She doesn't have the address, what does Shepherd want from her?" Alex added, his tone raised like a kid complaining.

"I have no idea. But I do have something else. Information on the surprise attack at the 141." Ghost said, as Jack and Price moved toward them and discussed the contents of Augustus' phone.

"That bastard gave away our location." Price cursed.

"So his plan to disband us would be successful." Alex added and Ghost nodded.

"Why get Samantha though? He knows we'll be coming for him." Ghost added and the rest of them speculated their theories.

"Augustus failed to get her so Shepherd did it for him? For what?" Jack noted, reviewing their whole mission for reference.

"Something bigger, I presume." Price spat and everyone fell silent. The rest of the team except for Gary and Maxine gathered for a short briefing. Everyone gave away their take as to why, some of them made sense while some reasons don't add up. And thinking about it was only making them more frustrated.

Everyone looked serious until they inhaled the fresh aroma of dinner from the kitchen. Alex turned and saw Gary and Maxine, smiling while serving up the team's dinner. He could sense something him and Samantha once shared in this place and it looked like the Safe house did it's charm once again.

"Now that's bloody good cookin'" Price announced and everyone laughed. He wasn't the kind of person to say those kinds of things, but he did, and it was all they needed to ease the tension of not knowing what's next.

They never gathered like this before, together, happy and noisy. The two oldies sat on the opposite edges of the round table while Soap, France, Gary and Maxine sat beside each other on the left. Simon and Alex sat on the other side, an empty chair resided beside them.

"Don't worry lad, we'll rescue her." Price muttered and Jack nodded. Alex smiled as they started to eat some food.

"Hold on a minute!" Soap exclaimed causing everyone to halt.

"Thank you Lord for thy blessings which we are about to receive. Amen." he muttered while everyone looked at him.

"Amen!" they all said in unison and wolfed down Gary and Maxine's delicious meal.

"This tastes so good! Just like Mom used to make!" Francine chewed happily. Maxine stared at her supposed to be sister and smiled.

"It does?" she breathed.

"Mmhmm.. I was always jealous that you two were so close together in the kitchen, everything I touch turns to a culinary mess." she frowned and made everyone else laugh. Soap stared at her in amazement.

"You and me both, France." Jack agreed. The gang bonded throughout dinner and enjoyed the company. Alex volunteered on the dishes and France offered to help.

"You think she's going to be fine?" Maxine asked as she checked the contents of the fridge, looking at Alex who looked very focused on the dishes he's cleaning.

"She's been kidnapped a lot of times now. I think she's used to it." Alex attempted to joke, but the tone of his voice was far from kidding.

"Aye, That lassie's a tough one. Don't worry Alex. We'll get her, Shepherd's bound to make a mistake anytime soon." Soap commented from behind him while leaning on the kitchen island.

"I told you I can handle assisting Alex on my own!" France giggled as she wiped the plates dry.

"Aye! I know! Can't a man just enjoy some time with his girlfriend?" he raised his hand mocking surrender. France turned back and crossed her arms.

"Ahem. Girl space Friend. There's a space in between." she scolded and MacTavish just chuckled.

"Whatever you say, Babe." he joked once again as he stepped out of the kitchen.

"Ugh. That guy's so full of himself." France groaned. Alex and Maxine exchanged glances and laughed, causing the female soldier to worry.

"What?" she asked.

"You two look cute together." Maxine chuckled, closed the fridge and walked away.

"We're not together!" France yelled, making sure Maxine would hear it wherever she went.

"We will be soon!" Soap exclaimed from outside, followed by collective laughter from the group of men with him.

~

Alex groaned and looked at his watch. It's already 3:36 am and he couldn't sleep. He slowly got up and looked around. On the huge bed, Jack and Price slept peacefully as evidenced by the loud snoring. Beside him on the floor was Soap, Roach and an empty spot where Ghost was supposed to sleep. The girls occupied the guest room.

Alex slowly got up and carefully assisted his metal leg, trying not to make noise as he waltzed to the balcony where he suspected Ghost to be.

And he was right, Ghost sat by the railings on the terrace, not a single expression of fear etched on his face. A face Alex saw for the first time.

"Can't sleep?" the former CIA asked. Ghost slowly turned his head and nodded.

"I'm just contemplating…" he muttered, the tone of his voice sound defeated.

"We caught ourselves in a crazy situation, huh?" Alex chuckled trying to make the best of the situation. Ghost didn't seem to like the vote of happiness as he clicked his tongue and sighed.

"I'm into France… but it looked like she's happier with John." he spat. From what Alex heard from Roach, Ghost was not the kind of person to open up. And this was all too surprising for him.

"I… uh…" Alex stammered.

"Look, I'm also sorry… You don't have to reply… I was about to vent to Gary about this but he seemed too preoccupied with Maxine and I didn't want to bother him."

"Look, it's okay. Ghost."

"It's Simon, Simon Riley."

"It's okay Simon. That's life. You win some, you lose some." he consoled. He tried to make it as positive as possible but he was also down in the dumps, like him.

"Thanks for the honesty. I just realized how devastated you must be. I never got to hear your story until Gary told me. It must've been tough losing her over and over again." Gary talked without looking at him.

"It's like I've been cursed to lose her and save her all over again." Alex complained.

"Like Link." Simon announced like it's a great metaphor which Alex didn't get.

"Link?"

"Like from the video game. Where this knight was always out to save her damsel in distress. It's got many different variations but it's always the same name. Generations have passed and Link was always destined to save Zelda." he said in amusement.

"My damsel in distress…" Alex noted and looked up at the stars, wishing that wherever Samantha may be, he hoped she's safe and also thinking of him.

Next Chapter : Delayed Flight

Notification Squad my beloved

@smokeywhalee @samatedeansbroccoli @enderio @whimsywispsblog @beemybee @ricinbach

[labarboteuse]

Sonate au Clair de Lune (Richard “Dick” Winters x OC)

Hello everyone ! Here is a little something with our favorite ginger-head nobody asked for. I've been wanting to try something for a while now, so here it is, see you at the end of the chapter. Enjoy !x 💕

As always, there’s no disrespect towards the real men of the company. It’s only based on their portrayals in the mini serie

Taglist : @supervalcsi  @ourmiraclealigner | Let me know if you want to be added. 😊

Warning : evocation of a dramatic war event

Sitting on a chair among the audience, Jeanne was stood straight as possible to see the scene where the orchestra was playing composition of Beethoven. As a linen maid in a Parisian hotel, she had spared money for months with her two friends and colleagues Gisèle and Solange to have the chance to afford an entrance for tonight’s performance at the Opera Garnier. Her family had never been rich, but she had received an education and music had been part of the instruction for the girls. She had quickly developed a passion for music but never had the financial means to learn to play an instrument or to attend performances.

The first notes of the “Moonlight Sonata” resounded in the Italian style theatre. Shivers came over her as she unconsciously played with the fabric of her little purse on her lap. Jeanne loved this piece that gave her a deep calm, whenever she felt bad, she would play the notes in her head to calm herself. As the composition was coming to an end, it provided to her a feeling of nostalgia, she thought to her parents she hadn’t seen for a while, her parents she had left few years ago to gain the capital city hoping it would be easier to find a job. Her parents had pushed her to leave the countryside in the Southwest of France where they were living, when she was 19 years old, convinced that she would have a better life by reaching Paris. No one had imagined that barely two years after her arrival war would be declared and that a little less than a year later the city would be under German occupation for the next four years. When Jeanne had arrived, she had to live for a few weeks on the meagre savings her parents had given her, then she finally found a small job as a linen maid in a hotel where she met Gisèle and Solange, the three of them having since become inseparable.

Her thoughts lulled by the music made her forget time and it was only when Solange gently pressed her arm that she came back to reality and realized that the performance was over. She gave her friend a friendly smile and stood up putting her brown coat back on before following her friends towards the exit.

She took advantage of each second passed in the building on her way out to admire the architectural beauty of the place she will not see again so soon. Once the three friends outside, they stopped at the foot of the stairs the time Gisèle lights her cigarette.

“C’était merveilleux!” - “It was wonderful!” exclaimed Solange. Jeanne laughed in front of the sparkling eyes of her friend, who had never had the chance to attend this kind of event either.

“Je suis d’accord, c’était magnifique, j’en ai eu des frissons.” - “I agree, it’s was beautiful, I got chills.” Jeanne passed her hands on her arms with a smile on her face.

Gisèle blew the smoke from her cigarette and nodded her head.

“C’est toi que nous devons remercier pour nous avoir persuadé de venir.”  - “We have you to thank for convincing us to attend.” She said to Jeanne and made a small reverence to her friend which made the three of them laugh.

People would walk by and sometimes look at them with curiosity, sometimes with a haughty look. It was the kind of event that attracted the Parisian gratin, dressed in their most beautiful clothes and adorned with their finest jewellery. And sometimes among this worldliness were simple people who had saved months or even a year to afford a place among the least expensive. Needless to say, Jeanne and her friends made a splash among the crowd.

“Allons-nous en avant qu’ils n’appellent la Maréchaussée pour nous évacuer.” - “We should go before they called the police to evacuate us.”  Gisèle mocked sarcastically.

The three girls laughed before leaving arm in arm. It was getting late but the city was far from sleeping, yet they had to return to their sinister little room on the top floor of an old building because they were starting their day very early. Gisèle and Solange separated from Jeanne once they arrived at their subway station to be able to return to their neighbourhood.

The young women kissed each other before saying good night. Once her two friends had left, Jeanne decided to walk along the Seine and enjoy the clear night and the beauty of the city before returning to her bed.

 As she walked along the quays, she couldn't help but admire the people around her who were enjoying the evening on the terraces of the illuminated bars and restaurants, life went back to normal. Since the Liberation in August, she enjoyed wandering the streets of Paris, especially in the evenings when it was less crowded and it was easier to admire the architectural gems without being pushed around by passers-by. She took pleasure in rediscovering this City of Light that had lost its luster during the past four years. Four years under occupation, fear, constant surveillance, violence generated by the reprisals of German soldiers against the resistance movements of civilians, attacks, shortages and rationing that had led a large part of the population to turn to the black market to provide for their needs, which Jeanne had been a victim of. Her meager salary already did not allow her to live a decent life, she had believed that she would not survive this.

Like many inhabitants, she had been a witness of the arrests of the Vel' d'Hiv’ Roundup in 1942, an event that had deeply marked the population, many of whom had bitter memories. A deep sadness invaded her thinking of all these victims, which gave her a shiver and she tightened her coat around her.

And then came August of that year 1944, the city had been liberated and Jeanne still remembered the feeling of relief.

Lost in her thoughts and without looking where she was going, she didn’t see the silhouette which also didn't look where it was going and ran into it.

The shock made her drop her bag and the program of the evening that she was still holding in her hands as if to prove to herself that the evening had indeed taken place. She crouched down to pick up her things and her head hit the head of the person she had collided with. She held her hand to her forehead and grimaced, releasing a sound of pain. The man had also crouched down to pick up her belongings and stammered something in English that sounded like an apology.

She stood up at the same time as he did, his head down, he glanced at the program he had in his hands and a small smile stretched his lips before straightening his head towards her.

“Sonata No. 14?”

A shy smile was born on her lips and she gently nodded her head, she may not have been bilingual but the music with this universal aspect made her understand what he had said. He gently handed her the booklet and she gently grabbed it and they stood there for a few seconds without either of them letting go of the paper and looking into each other's eyes. Finally, almost embarrassed, he nodded his head without letting go of his little smile and moved aside, passing by her to get back on his way, without taking his eyes off her before finally turning around so as not to bump into someone again.

Jeanne lowered her head towards the program cover with her shy smile still clinging to her lips, a strange feeling in her chest.

She finally returned home without any further incident and went to bed that night-joyful, not really knowing if it was because of her evening or her brief encounter with that soldier.

 ___

The next day she hurried to the hotel where she worked to take her shift. When she arrived she saw that the girls had already arrived and she hastened to take off her coat and put on her black apron, she had lost a few minutes in the subway and this made her arrive slightly late. When she met Solange on the service staircase, she learned that Louise, the fourth girl on the team, was sick and that they had divided up the rooms she should have taken care of between them three.

Jeanne hurried to fetch the clean towels to prepare the rooms before new customers arrived. In her haste she forgot to go upstairs one floor more and opened the door of the second room on the third floor, thinking it was the fourth. She didn't even realize that the door hadn't been locked, so there must was already someone in. She walked towards the bed and bent down to put down the towels on it when she stopped and slowly turned her head over a brown uniform lying there. She was abruptly struck by her stupidity and suddenly straightened herself up, perhaps a little too much, as she stumbled over a pair of boots and was about to finish her fall on her buttocks when she was caught by an arm that slipped around her waist.

Surprised, she quickly deviated of it and apologized, her babbling doesn't really wanted to meant something. She retrieved the towels from the bed before turning around and coming face to face with the same man as the evening before. He was only wearing a white shirt and a black underwear, he was probably in the bathroom when she entered that’s why she didn’t noticed someone was there.

“Vous ?” - “You?”

It was the mysterious stranger she had bump the night before. The same red hair, the same blue-grey eyes and that embarrassed smile so touching.

“Are you following me?” He asked both embarrassed and amused at the same time.

“Pardon ? Non !” - “Sorry?No!”

She tried to add something but nothing came out of her mouth and she shook her confused head.  

“I’m sorry I didn’t know this room was occupied.” She explained herself with a rather wobbly accent, which he found quite charming and which slightly stretched his smile.

“Don’t worry, it’s fine.”

Like the day before, they looked at each other in the whites of their eyes without saying anything, and then finally regaining the use of her limbs and speech, she walked towards the door, still stammering.

“I’m Dick.”

Even him was surprised of the words which came out of his mouth, what’s the point of telling her? He asked for himself. Also surprised of his words she turned towards him and it took her a moment before reacting.

“Jeanne.” She finally said calmly before rushing out, feeling her cheeks usually pale white turning into crimson red, so she hurried out before he noticed and that she looked ridiculous, at least more than she already did.

Dick looked at her in amusement and his gaze remained for a few seconds riveted on the door that had just closed.  

“Jeanne.” He says soflty to himself, a smile on the corner of his lips.  

 ____________________________________________

It's up to you! Do you think it's better to stop there? 🤔 Or how do you see a potential sequel? 😊

Throw me your ideas, they are the ones that will determine the rest of the story! Or not, it's up to you!🤷🏼‍♀️ It's your story!😉

[spencers-dria]

Light Amongst the Darkness

Ch. 13 of Someone to Stay

Spencer Reid x fem reader

POV: Spencer

I wake up for the third time this morning as a technician comes in the room to take my vital signs. It seems like it's always something, labs, vital signs, or medicine. I look over to see Y/N curled up on the couch, sleeping soundly. She really could sleep through just about anything, but somehow she seems to always know when I get up.

I slip out of bed and make my way to the bathroom as quietly as possible to shower and get ready for the day. I feel a hand grab by wrist as I pass the couch. I look down and see her still half asleep, her eyes aren't even open yet.

"Spence?"

"It's okay, go back to sleep. I'm just going to take a shower."

"Let me know if you need anything" she says through a yawn as she rolls back over. I can tell she has fallen back asleep within seconds by the sound of soft snoring. I can't help but smile. It was an adorable quirk of hers.

By now I'm able to take the bandages off and wash the surgical wound. I wince slightly as the gauze pulls as the staples. It seems do be doing okay. Y/N has really been helping a lot. The nurses here seem to know her well and let her do as much as she wants to help take care of me. I've tried convincing her that she's not at work and she doesn't have to be my nurse but she insists.

I make my way out of the steamy bathroom in fresh sweatpants as I towel dry my hair. Y/N is wide-awake, sitting on the edge of the bed with bandages all laid out on the side table.

I start to sit down next to her as I try one last time to convince her to take a break. "You know you really don't have to..."

"Shush. I want to help."

I turn to face her as she delicately dresses the wound after covering it with an antibiotic ointment. I had to admit, it hurt much less when she did it. I watch her as she puts all of her focus into what she's doing. I really enjoy getting to see her do what she does best, what she's passionate about. She looks really beautiful, despite having just woken up. It's almost not fair. Her hair is hanging down in its natural light waves, I'm almost tempted to reach out and run my hands through it. I can feel my skin tingle where she's placed her hand on my other shoulder for balance as the leans in to examine her finished work. I shake the feeling from my head. I can't scare her off.

After she's finished, I slip on a t-shirt as she pulls out her laptop and we settle into the hospital bed, ready to watch the final Harry Potter movie. Downtime in the hospital had allowed us to make our way through the series much quicker than anticipated. She had asked for a couple extra days off, which I fought against and lost. This was my fourth, and hopefully last day staying in the hospital.

As we get into the movie I hear her say "mmm I miss it."

"Miss what?"

"Hogwarts" she laughs as though this was obvious.

I give her a quizzical look.

She continues. "You know, the wizarding world, in Orlando?"

"Ohhh yeah I almost forgot they had that."

She pauses the movie and turns to look at me with wide eyes. "You mean you've never been?"

"No. By the time they built it I guess I was older and already working for the FBI."

"Spencer I only went my first time in college." She laughs. "You're never too old to go to Hogwarts!"

She sits for a moment, lost in her thoughts, before her face lights up with a huge smile.

"We have to go."

"What, the two of us?"

"No genius, me and Hotch." We both giggle at the thought as she elbows me. "I used to take road trips with my friends back home all the time. It's been awhile though..."

I can tell she's been a bit homesick lately. She misses her friends and family. No one has been able to visit her yet. So I decide that this is a great idea for us both.

I look over to her, unable to hide a grin. "When are we going?"

"Really? Really??! You'll go? Oh my gosh, Spencer!" She jumps up out of the bed and starts pacing the room.

"We have to start planning. When do you want to go? I have to ask for days off. You will too of course. I can't wait to show you everything. We'll have to get you a robe..."

"Y/N!" She stops to look at me, as I can't help but laugh at her.

"Take deep breaths. We have plenty of time. You really get excited for trips, huh?"

"Oh you have no idea! Vacations are my absolute favorite! Planning is half the fun."

She stops and loses herself in thought for a moment. "It's not weird, is it? Us taking a trip together?"

I simply shake my head and she continues to plan out loud.

Her question makes me think. We are just friends. Friends can take trips together. My thoughts drift to the events that took place a little over a week ago at her apartment and at the bar. We still haven't talked about that. I'm sure she didn't mean anything by it, but ever since then I have taken extra notice of little things.

We used to sit apart to watch movies together, but ever since that day she seems to snuggle next to me. I find myself incredibly aware of how close she is, or when her arm brushes mine, my skin igniting at every touch.

She eventually settles down and makes her way back over to the bed, setting us up to continue the movie. Her head settles onto my shoulder, as if it belongs there. As her gaze falls on the screen, my gaze falls on her, and I can't seem to tear it away. I love watching her reactions. Despite having seen the movie so many times before, her expressions are as dramatic as someone who is seeing it for the first time. She told me she still cries at the boathouse scene, every time. I love that about her, her ability to see light in dark places, good among the evil. She is definitely the shining light amongst the darkness I face every day at work. I never want to lose that...lose her.

Eventually the nurse comes in with the discharge paperwork and instructions for wound care. They try to offer me prescriptions for pain medications at home, but I insist on sticking with Tylenol and Advil. Y/N drives me home and helps me carry my things up to my apartment. After we make our way inside. She immediately starts cleaning, switching on some music before she gets to work. I think about telling her to stop but I know better by now. Instead I lie across the couch and grab the book I was reading before I left for the case.

I try to focus on the words in front of me, but I find myself reading the same page over again as my eyes are continually drawn to Y/N. I see her go in my room and come back out with a laundry basket and bed sheets. After starting a load, she makes her way to the kitchen, wiping down counters and cleaning off any dishes in the sink. She's too focused on each task to notice my lingering stares.

She had come back out dressed in some loose fitting, high-waisted denim shorts and a black tank. She's pulled back the top half of her hair and tied it with a silk, gold scarf. She's still got no makeup on with her glasses. I normally take absolutely no notice of what women wear, but I really admire her style. It's always changing, completely unique and completely hers.

I try to hold back a grin as I watch her dance around the kitchen, barefoot as she sings a song I don't recognize.

"You get ready you get all dressed up, to go nowhere in particular. Back to work or the coffee shop, it don't matter because it's enough to be young and in looovee."

I can't put my finger on it but something about her has definitely been different lately. There's a new glow about her, and I'm drawn to it like a moth.

During her cleaning she's also opened up all my curtains and window's letting light in. She brought home all the flowers that had been dropped off during my hospital stay and is rearranging them into small vases to spread across the apartment. Its almost as if her light is so infectious, she's spreading it into every corner of my life, my home. I blush at the thought of how nice it would be to have her around all the time.

Every once in awhile I catch her gaze and she simply smiles at me as she continues to sing with equal enthusiasm. I appreciate that she's finally comfortable enough around me to sing, to be completely herself.

When she finally runs out of things to busy herself with, she makes her way to the couch and sits across from me, handing me a peanut butter and jelly sandwich as she bites into one she made for herself.

"Thank you" I say appreciatively with a mouth half full of food.

"Thanks for everything actually; cleaning my apartment, staying with me at the hospital, taking care of me...and just for sticking around, being my friend."

She leans forward placing her elbows on her knees. "I couldn't have found anyone better if I had hand picked them myself." She laughs at her own cheesiness.

I cough, clearing my throat for a moment. "Should we talk about the other night?"

"The other night? Oh!...oh." I notice her face turns a bit red and she breaks eye contact, staring at the wood floors instead.

"We don't have to I just thought..."

"No it's okay. We should talk about it. Well, first of all I want to apologize for making you uncomfortable. Sometimes when I drink I flirt with just whoever is around. It's not personal. I'm really sorry." I notice her start to nervously pick at the hem of her clothing, a sign of her anxiety.

"No! No you didn't make me uncomfortable." I shake my head, biting my lip as I try to think of how to continue.

"It was unexpected. I've never seen you be so confident. It was really s-s-something else." I feel my face heat up as I catch myself almost saying something I regret. I shift in my seat, incredibly aware of the thick tension lingering in the air.

She finally speaks up. "So the trip? I guess we can pick some dates once you're back at work. Then we can request off and buy some tickets. Sound good?"

"Mmmhhmm." My heart is still racing from the previous conversation. I can't believe how quickly I go from completely at ease around her to a hot mess of nerves. I tell my self it's nothing, that it will go away if I only give it time. It has to.

[the-land-of-eternal-winter-novel]

Chapter 51 - The Banquet

Anatoliy and his cell mates heard of Maksim's escape long before the guests at the banquet saw him, so they tried to get out in time, feeling it was more important to go help the others against such a threat, even if they broke another law in the process. They managed to get out, rushing as much as they could. In the meantime, Maksim ordered his men to capture the guests, especially the various monarchs there, while he stood idly, watching it all with satisfaction. He already thought of third or fourth plans of necessary, while contemplatively smoking his pipe.

Suddenly, he heard a gunshot, and felt his pipe violently yanked out of his mouth. He covered his entire lower face, turning his head to the right. Sava blew the smoke off the barrel, and looked him in the eye mockingly:

"Smoking isn't good for your health."

Aggravated, Maksim wiped the blood from his mouth and headed towards him. In the meantime, Žydras, aided by Radek and Tomasz, helped push back against the attackers. Elsewhere, Kęstas and a few others tried to reopen the doors and evacuate those who were unable to fight or otherwise vulnerable. Olaf tried to use nearby objects as a ram, others helping him. One of the guards tried attacking them, but Kęstas acted quickly and grabbed a sword from one of the decorative armours and fought with it. On the other side, henchmen were heading towards the place where several of the women and the children were. After managing to grab one gun off the ground, Ingrid shot them in self defense, then tried to help the others run and find another safe place. Maksim had gone down some stairs, unable to find Sava yet. He was, instead, met by Gintarė right in the middle, and she tried to take the weapon out of his hand, fighting him for a while, until he finally managed to hit her so that she tripped and fell down the stairs. She was unable to get up, instead trying to crouch upstairs, and he also came closer, threatening her. He was stopped dead in his tracks by a quick blow to the head, as if of a small bat. It was Prosya, who used her crutch as a weapon. She rushed to help Gintarė get up and run, until Maksim himself managed to get up back at them. Olaf had managed to break open at least the main door, now helping people get out. The two women managed to get out still among the first.

"Do your legs hurt?"

"No, I can still fight!" said Gintarė.

"Don't go! It's better if we both stay here, instead of risking getting killed after tripping and falling over."

Gintarė reluctantly agreed, and she tried her best to help organise the people already outside, while Prosya was already on her way to bring some medics to the scene, if and when needed. Inside, Margarita brought her own children outside, as well as Sveta's, as the latter was still busy defending the others and herself. Ingrid shot one more man who was following them, ran away, grabbed Oleg and reached the outside, meeting Elena and the other women. Many of the guests rushed to get out as soon as possible, especially the elderly, women with children and people already injured. Some, even from among the kings, stayed to help the ones inside, such as Olaf.

Maksim had gotten back on his feet, now searching even more desperately. One henchman was trying to capture Sveta, but she squirmed and flailed, getting out of his grasp. However, as she was running, that same man shot her in the back. She got back, after much struggle, picked up a gun and shot him as he tried to fire again, though she had wanted to avoid it. She didn't yet feel a lot of pain, so she went on for a while, but Maksim saw her and fired on her direction, managing to hit her twice, on the side and the abdomen. Still conscious, she tried to get up, but couldn't, suddenly feeling like the ground behind her was moving. In no time, she was outside, now being laid on the ground, where she soon fainted. It was Akim who helped her. He quickly returned, so as to help his remaining friends, and the guests yet unable to evacuate. The door had been closed again, forcing the remaining ones to find other means of escape. Instead, Maksim now put his third plan in action, shooting at the chain of a chandelier, which crashed down violently, the floor and adjacent wall catching fire.

"It's too late if try you stop me now; I've already killed your empress. Sooner or later, I'll take this country, then the world. No matter how hard you try to stop me, I'll always be 5 steps ahead of you. Or, shall I say, 500 years ahead of you. You can't stand a chance against me."

"Who do you think you are?!" said Radek.

"Compared to this country of backwards peasants, I might as well be a wizard."

"I knew you were onto something!" said Sava.

"I always am. These conspiracies don't plan themselves, you know... Sometimes you have to play the long con, but it's worth it. Oh, and little prince?" he addressed Anatoliy. "It's too bad, you were this close to finding out the truth, but didn't realise I'd been under your nose all along. I know you're terrified of me now. You've been obssesed with me, collecting newspapers and the such."

He threw a small gun for him to catch.

"Kill me if you dare! After all, you killed Vaidas because you thought he killed your dad. He didn't, I did. So shoot me."

Anatoliy's hands trembled on the gun.

"Remember: once a criminal, forever a criminal."

Anatoliy let go of the gun.

"I can't do it."

"Coward, you missed your chance! But I knew you would. Now the empire being conquered will be your fault."

Sava tackled him from behind, trying to disarm him, but he slammed him against the floor, trying to strangle him. Tomasz managed to stop him, entering yet another fight, which ended with Tomasz falling from the balcony. Radek tried to help him on his feet, but it was immediately clear he had broken at least a few bones. Some of the people had already managed to create a hole in the locked door through which they could crouch out. As the flames engulfed the west wing, Olaf helped the remaining guests out the window, until he was left without a rope himself. Seeing as the flames were dangerously close, he grabbed onto the long curtain of the window and slid down it with one hand, until the fabric tore, letting him fall on the hard ground. The shoulder of the arm he had used was in utter pain, but he managed to reach the others.

As Maksim and his men were still trying to shoot at them despite the fire, Anatoliy and Kęstas struggled to dodge every bullet. Kęstas was shot in the metal arm, relieved about not feeling any pain, but he immediately afterwards saw that Anatoliy was shot in the leg. The latter began to panic, thinking he would already bleed to death. After taking them to a safer place, Kęstas used a hot metal rod he had found, putting it on the wound. Anatoliy screamed in pain, not yet understanding what he was doing, but he later noticed the fire had helped reduce the bleeding. The two still tried to get outside, however. Now remained only Radek, Akim and Sava, facing Maksim in the burning building.

"How did you even get out of prison? And how did you know how to get all of your poisons, and disguises, and all of that?!" asked Radek, while still trying to defend himself.

"Don't you get it yet?! I know everything! And so, I can do everything, and none of you mere mortals could ever hope to stop me!"

He prepared his fourth plan, setting up what seemed like a few buttons and levers, and, suddenly, part of the ceiling crumbled in on itself, causing a great booming echo. Akim rushed to get out, trying to get himself and Radek out, until the whole building collapsed.

"Do you have any last words, Savochka?"

"May God have mercy on your soul..."

"I don't need your prayers! And you can't pretend to be some sort of saint to me! You're no better than me: you're also a murderous dictator!"

"Not anymore."

"There is no such thing. If only you had not betrayed me... Imagine how glorious of an empire we would've had! Imagine having the world at your feet, and an ever-powerful scientist such as myself as leader! We'll bring back the golden age, and even discover immortality..."

A chunk of the ceiling fell on him as he was saying this, rendering him immobilised from the waist down. Sava was trying to leave while he still could.

"Not so fast! If I'm going down, I'm taking you with me!"

In a last effort, Maksim picked up his gun and shot at the chain of the chandelier, making it fall on him, at least in part. Outside, they were counting the people to check if anybody had gone missing. As soon as he realised, Akim went back in to help Sava get out. He picked him up from under the rubble, and dragged him, then carrying him on his back. The flames raged on, and Akim almost didn't make it, but he sprinted out, with Sava as well, and immediately afterwards, the front door collapsed, flames bursting out as if from an explosion.

Maksim, still inside, unable to get himself out from under the piece of ceiling that had fallen on him, got caught in the middle of the fire. Although he was already in pain, he prided himself in the fact that he single-handedly managed to burn down the royal palace. For a moment, he had a thought as if he remembered already having invented the elixir of immortality, and he assured himself this was the case. However, not even minutes later, even those outside could hear him screaming in pain. Anatoliy, who had been paying attention, felt his the chill in his bones, even though it was his cruelest enemy who died like so. He briefly remembered one of the nightmares he had had, and felt a very eerie sense of familiarity, as if he had witnessed the scene before.

From where they stood, a large rumble was heard, and judging by the movement of the building, they realised that the floor had caved into the tunnels forming the basement levels. Then, piece by piece, the walls, the ceiling and the floor gave in, until the whole building was a fiery ruin. Some of them were crying to see the devastation, others tended to the wounded, glad their loved ones were safe and sound, others wondered whether their loved ones would even survive the night.

[ruwithmeguys]

Hey yea that ask was from me but I didn't know it was u. When I found out u were book, I shouted "it's you" I startled my sleeping cat. He's not too pleased.lol that line has been the most confounding LL line ever. Was she in love? Was she re-falling in love? I couldn't make sense of it and just chalked it up to LL Logic. Ur meta makes so much sense to me. It is hard to grasp because we've never seen O and LL being friends. I wonder what do u think LL thought of FS from season 1 and onwards?

Hah!

(sorry for the long wait).

Thank you so much for giving me suchwonderful compliments: I’m not a vain person but everyone likes to hear thatthey make tiny differences in such a big world, so if I helped you at all ormade you smile; the pleasure is all mine.

Okay so, the ‘you’re the love of mine’ lineirritated SO many people and I get why. It was a stipulation of KC’s contract; ifshe was going to leave the show then she needed her character to make an impacton Oliver in some way. THAT was all that had mattered to her. For 5 seconds shegot to remind everyone that once upon a time, she’d been the female lead. Itwas her BIG moment.

Honestly?

I don’t think laurel gave a second thought toFelicity Smoak in season 1. Or 2. She was a blip on her radar. A tiny moment ofWTF for her when her precious Ollie introduced her - sorry guys but she wasupset over her breakup yet once again (remember Helena?) managed to lookterritorial, near to ‘excuse me’ face, when forced to bear witness to the factthat Oliver knew other women than her.

But why should she think about FS? She had,what, two scenes with her? In TWO seasons?

They weren’t friends. Felicity was Ollie’sIT-girl, Miss Fix-it Pretty Please and Ollie would never touch such a nerd, right?

I’m not a catty person, but all of what I’msaying was right there. Laurel was always secure in the knowledge that shewould always ‘have’ Ollie. If he ever dated someone, it didn’t matter. Allseason 1 Laurel had to do was wait. Wait for Ollie to pick her. But he neverdid. I think he only ever chose LL in any sense of the word, when they wereteenagers and wanted to date.

So, yeah, this was LL’s way of having alasting impact should the worst happen.

But let’s be fair. In near death moments youwant to say what’s in your heart to the right person. She was telling him that,though they aren’t anymore, he was once the love of her life. And she never foundanother. And she confesses to knowing (I know I’ve already posted about this;))that she ISN’T  the love of his.

For the FIRST time, LL makes some sense.

Oh wait-

She’s trying to get us to like her before shedies- crapola.

That was it. That was all it was about. Shewanted a lasting affect and since the writers crapped on her character (as didKC- sorry but she did) they had to give her something. So after seasons ofbeing either bitter, angry, self-righteous or delusional, she finally acceptsthe truth. She’s finally softer. Andno; she never needed to be a hard ass to sell that she was strong. The trulystrong don’t need to showcase how strong they really are.

They never need to wear masks.

The last few years of her life have actuallybeen about avoiding falling in love again and have been focused on needingadrenaline rushes to get through the day.

It isn’t heroic. Or tragic.

It’s... kind of sad as heck.

I mean, come on. She made Tommy seem like hewas just a good time; someone she needed to fill the ‘Ollie’ shaped void insideher. And then afterwards she admits that she donned a mask... because she likedthe thrill. WOW. LET’S GET BEHIND THIS HERO.

Now Dinah Drake? She’s filling all the spotsBC should be filling and for ONCE it isn’t about romance. It’s about beingbetter. About atonement and healing. Second chances. LL never tried to bebetter. L obeyed L. LL always gets what LL wants.

Look; she states Ollie was the love of herlife... it tells us that she never found anyone beyond him or Tommy who couldmatch. It is possible that she deliberately wanted to keep hold of that. Shedidn’t find happiness in love because she couldn’t let go of the past.

So the past let go of her.

She was killed off.

End of.

Whether KC understands this or not, we havebeen told by the writers more than once this year that she wasn’t the RIGHT BCfor the job. That should tell people a thing or two about how they should takethat line of hers in 4x19 ;)

I give respect to the Lauriver history;without it, Oliver wouldn’t be the man he is now. Without knowing what hurtshim, what isn’t right for him, he might never have found Felicity.

PS: if you remember season 3, LL’s firstinteraction with Felicity is when LL needs something. It happens again. Andagain. And again etc. Roy, Felicity. Dig; they brought her in because MissLawyer needed to be watched. She was going to get herself killed. Roy had tosave her more than once and that’s just the tip of the ice berg.

[spencers-dria]

Light Amongst the Darkness

Ch. 13 of Someone To Stay

I wake up for the third time this morning as a technician comes in the room to take my vital signs. It seems like it's always something, labs, vital signs, or medicine. I look over to see Y/N curled up on the couch, sleeping soundly. She really could sleep through just about anything, but somehow she seems to always know when I get up.

I slip out of bed and make my way to the bathroom as quietly as possible to shower and get ready for the day. I feel a hand grab by wrist as I pass the couch. I look down and see her still half asleep, her eyes aren't even open yet.

"Spence?"

"It's okay, go back to sleep. I'm just going to take a shower."

"Let me know if you need anything" she says through a yawn as she rolls back over. I can tell she has fallen back asleep within seconds by the sound of soft snoring. I can't help but smile. It was an adorable quirk of hers.

By now I'm able to take the bandages off and wash the surgical wound. I wince slightly as the gauze pulls as the staples. It seems do be doing okay. Y/N has really been helping a lot. The nurses here seem to know her well and let her do as much as she wants to help take care of me. I've tried convincing her that she's not at work and she doesn't have to be my nurse but she insists.

I make my way out of the steamy bathroom in fresh sweatpants as I towel dry my hair. Y/N is wide-awake, sitting on the edge of the bed with bandages all laid out on the side table.

I start to sit down next to her as I try one last time to convince her to take a break. "You know you really don't have to..."

"Shush. I want to help."

I turn to face her as she delicately dresses the wound after covering it with an antibiotic ointment. I had to admit, it hurt much less when she did it. I watch her as she puts all of her focus into what she's doing. I really enjoy getting to see her do what she does best, what she's passionate about. She looks really beautiful, despite having just woken up. It's almost not fair. Her hair is hanging down in its natural light waves, I'm almost tempted to reach out and run my hands through it. I can feel my skin tingle where she's placed her hand on my other shoulder for balance as the leans in to examine her finished work. I shake the feeling from my head. I can't scare her off.

After she's finished, I slip on a t-shirt as she pulls out her laptop and we settle into the hospital bed, ready to watch the final Harry Potter movie. Downtime in the hospital had allowed us to make our way through the series much quicker than anticipated. She had asked for a couple extra days off, which I fought against and lost. This was my fourth, and hopefully last day staying in the hospital.

As we get into the movie I hear her say "mmm I miss it."

"Miss what?"

"Hogwarts" she laughs as though this was obvious.

I give her a quizzical look.

She continues. "You know, the wizarding world, in Orlando?"

"Ohhh yeah I almost forgot they had that."

She pauses the movie and turns to look at me with wide eyes. "You mean you've never been?"

"No. By the time they built it I guess I was older and already working for the FBI."

"Spencer I only went my first time in college." She laughs. "You're never too old to go to Hogwarts!"

She sits for a moment, lost in her thoughts, before her face lights up with a huge smile.

"We have to go."

"What, the two of us?"

"No genius, me and Hotch." We both giggle at the thought as she elbows me. "I used to take road trips with my friends back home all the time. It's been awhile though..."

I can tell she's been a bit homesick lately. She misses her friends and family. No one has been able to visit her yet. So I decide that this is a great idea for us both.

I look over to her, unable to hide a grin. "When are we going?"

"Really? Really??! You'll go? Oh my gosh, Spencer!" She jumps up out of the bed and starts pacing the room.

"We have to start planning. When do you want to go? I have to ask for days off. You will too of course. I can't wait to show you everything. We'll have to get you a robe..."

"Y/N!" She stops to look at me, as I can't help but laugh at her.

"Take deep breaths. We have plenty of time. You really get excited for trips, huh?"

"Oh you have no idea! Vacations are my absolute favorite! Planning is half the fun."

She stops and loses herself in thought for a moment. "It's not weird, is it? Us taking a trip together?"

I simply shake my head and she continues to plan out loud.

Her question makes me think. We are just friends. Friends can take trips together. My thoughts drift to the events that took place a little over a week ago at her apartment and at the bar. We still haven't talked about that. I'm sure she didn't mean anything by it, but ever since then I have taken extra notice of little things.

We used to sit apart to watch movies together, but ever since that day she seems to snuggle next to me. I find myself incredibly aware of how close she is, or when her arm brushes mine, my skin igniting at every touch.

She eventually settles down and makes her way back over to the bed, setting us up to continue the movie. Her head settles onto my shoulder, as if it belongs there. As her gaze falls on the screen, my gaze falls on her, and I can't seem to tear it away. I love watching her reactions. Despite having seen the movie so many times before, her expressions are as dramatic as someone who is seeing it for the first time. She told me she still cries at the boathouse scene, every time. I love that about her, her ability to see light in dark places, good among the evil. She is definitely the shining light amongst the darkness I face every day at work. I never want to lose that...lose her.

Eventually the nurse comes in with the discharge paperwork and instructions for wound care. They try to offer me prescriptions for pain medications at home, but I insist on sticking with Tylenol and Advil. Y/N drives me home and helps me carry my things up to my apartment. After we make our way inside. She immediately starts cleaning, switching on some music before she gets to work. I think about telling her to stop but I know better by now. Instead I lie across the couch and grab the book I was reading before I left for the case.

I try to focus on the words in front of me, but I find myself reading the same page over again as my eyes are continually drawn to Y/N. I see her go in my room and come back out with a laundry basket and bed sheets. After starting a load, she makes her way to the kitchen, wiping down counters and cleaning off any dishes in the sink. She's too focused on each task to notice my lingering stares.

She had come back out dressed in some loose fitting, high-waisted denim shorts and a black tank. She's pulled back the top half of her hair and tied it with a silk, gold scarf. She's still got no makeup on with her glasses. I normally take absolutely no notice of what women wear, but I really admire her style. It's always changing, completely unique and completely hers.

I try to hold back a grin as I watch her dance around the kitchen, barefoot as she sings a song I don't recognize.

"You get ready you get all dressed up, to go nowhere in particular. Back to work or the coffee shop, it don't matter because it's enough to be young and in looovee."

I can't put my finger on it but something about her has definitely been different lately. There's a new glow about her, and I'm drawn to it like a moth.

During her cleaning she's also opened up all my curtains and window's letting light in. She brought home all the flowers that had been dropped off during my hospital stay and is rearranging them into small vases to spread across the apartment. Its almost as if her light is so infectious, she's spreading it into every corner of my life, my home. I blush at the thought of how nice it would be to have her around all the time.

Every once in awhile I catch her gaze and she simply smiles at me as she continues to sing with equal enthusiasm. I appreciate that she's finally comfortable enough around me to sing, to be completely herself.

When she finally runs out of things to busy herself with, she makes her way to the couch and sits across from me, handing me a peanut butter and jelly sandwich as she bites into one she made for herself.

"Thank you" I say appreciatively with a mouth half full of food.

"Thanks for everything actually; cleaning my apartment, staying with me at the hospital, taking care of me...and just for sticking around, being my friend."

She leans forward placing her elbows on her knees. "I couldn't have found anyone better if I had hand picked them myself." She laughs at her own cheesiness.

I cough, clearing my throat for a moment. "Should we talk about the other night?"

"The other night? Oh!...oh." I notice her face turns a bit red and she breaks eye contact, staring at the wood floors instead.

"We don't have to I just thought..."

"No it's okay. We should talk about it. Well, first of all I want to apologize for making you uncomfortable. Sometimes when I drink I flirt with just whoever is around. It's not personal. I'm really sorry." I notice her start to nervously pick at the hem of her clothing, a sign of her anxiety.

"No! No you didn't make me uncomfortable." I shake my head, biting my lip as I try to think of how to continue.

"It was unexpected. I've never seen you be so confident. It was really s-s-something else." I feel my face heat up as I catch myself almost saying something I regret. I shift in my seat, incredibly aware of the thick tension lingering in the air.

She finally speaks up. "So the trip? I guess we can pick some dates once you're back at work. Then we can request off and buy some tickets. Sound good?"

"Mmmhhmm." My heart is still racing from the previous conversation. I can't believe how quickly I go from completely at ease around her to a hot mess of nerves. I tell my self it's nothing, that it will go away if I only give it time. It has to.