#i tried to read the manga a few years ago and had to stop early on (chimera arc iykyk) bc trauma but

[bluecoffeebeanz]

THEY EVEN TOOK HIS QUEEN

[hihello-pinky]

Sight (2)

Suna Rintarou x F! Reader

Sometimes, it takes losing someone to finally see them. He wished he knew this before, but Rintarou had to learn this the hard way. 

WARNINGS: mentions of abortion, mentions of miscarriage (NO SMUT IN THIS PART!)

Disclaimer: This is a work of fiction. This is no way represents my views of the original anime/manga characters.

WC: 3.3k Genre: Angst, Romance, Hurt/Comfort Other Tags: Forced Marriage, Developing Relationship, Denial of Feelings, Emotionally Repressed, References to Illness, Angst with a Happy Ending, + more to be added.

I know I mentioned I’m working on having a longer part 2 but I kinda like where this ended. Thank you all for waiting and for the love and support!!!

part one part two part three part ???

leave me love?

MINORS DO NOT INTERACT!

Looking back to it, everything happened so fast. As soon as your friends forced Suna’s name out of your mouth after they found out you’re pregnant, they pulled all their connections to get the two of you to meet... Only for him to question the fatherhood of your child. That’s when you first met Osamu Miya. You did not know back then that he was Rintarou’s best friend and as devastated as you were, you spilled your problems to him.

That’s how you found yourself next in the most stressful weeks of your life. Mr. and Mrs. Suna telling you that you are to wed their son. Rintarou telling you that you should get an abortion. And several nosy people telling you that you are a whore who got herself pregnant to get into the rich Suna family.

You tried to refuse the marriage, telling the couple (who, unlike their son, were the sweetest people you’ve met) that there’s no need for a marriage, you just need support to raise your child. They of course wouldn’t have it, and you knew it’s partly because they wanted to punish their son. You admittedly entertained the thoughts of getting an abortion but you just couldn’t do it... not after watching your sister struggle with multiple miscarriages in the past. And with the people spreading malicious things about you... you tried to ignore them, until a few days before the marriage where the gossips suddenly stopped.

Marrying Suna Rintarou brought a lot of changes in your life. First of all, you had to forego the post-graduate internship that was offered to you at the end of your senior year. Second, you had to move to a house gifted by his parents, which caused a rift between you and your sisters since you initially promised them that you’d be living with and helping them. And lastly, you had to live with Rintarou, who explicitly lets you know that he blames you for the forced marriage.

Another surge of headache breaks you out of your reverie. You straighten on your seat in the hospital lobby, waiting for the doctor’s secretary to call you. You had dropped off the kids at Sacha’s place right after confirming with the receptionist that there’s an available slot for a check-up. Last night, right after Rin left, you had a terrible headache, much the same as the ones you’ve been having for the past few weeks.

You look at the queuing monitor and notice that there are still a handful of people before your turn. You open your bag to get your Kindle but it grazes the leather bind of your journal. You must have taken it with you when you took your reading device from the bedside drawer. And just as you’re always inclined to do, you flip to the already dog-eared pages and read through your journal entries from years ago. It’s time to relive the memories.

You were in your fourteenth week of pregnancy. The new house’s backyard was as empty as you felt for the last two months of living with your new husband. He would wake up early and arrive home late. Thankfully, you have managed to befriend the housekeepers, Yuto and Jiri. It was one evening, though, that neither of them was home since the former was on leave while the latter was sick.

The clock struck ten and the main door opened, revealing Rintarou who looked visibly unwell. You rushed to him and he tried to swat you away, only for you to feel how his skin was burning. He must have been feeling too sick because after two more attempts, he finally let you help him into his bed.

That night, you nursed him to the best of your abilities, from changing his clothes to wiping his face with cold cloth. You even cooked soup for him, feeding him as his hands were shaking too much. As you were about to leave his room so you could go back to the spare one where you have been staying since you two moved in, his rough voice stopped you. “Stay.”

Your eyes widened, unsure if you heard him right. “Are you...?”

He groaned. “Or call Jiri. I need her.”

“She’s sick,” you replied. “I’ll just stay... if that’s okay with you?”

He was quiet for a while. “Okay.”

That night, you ended up staying with Rintarou, sitting beside his bed and barely getting any sleep. It went on for two more days. When you woke up on the fourth morning, you were surprised to find a blanket on top of you, much less feel the softness of a mattress below you.

You jolted awake and was surprised to see Rintarou sitting up with his back leaning against the bedframe and talking to someone on the phone. “Thanks, Kita. Yes, I’m feeling better. I’ll be back in the office tomorrow.” He must have noticed you staring at him for he turned his head towards you, the look on his face unreadable. “Call me when something urgent comes up. I have to go.” After dropping the call, he moved to stand up.

“Are you okay?” You asked before you could stop yourself.

“Weren’t you eavesdropping?” He shot back. “I’m feeling better. Jiri’s coming in today by the way, no need to make your pathetic attempts of forcing yourself into my business.” Suna didn’t even spare you a glance before he marched off to his bathroom.

Despite the two months of living with him, his actions towards you still managed to hurt. You gulped and moved to stand up from the bed, knowing too well that Suna would want nothing but to see his room void of you once he comes back.

Two days later, you found yourself with a flu. You begged Jiri not to tell Suna or his parents. But alas, you should have known better that while she had become your friend, her loyalty was still with the Suna family.

On the third night of your flu, you heard a knock on your door. It was odd since it was way past Jiri’s and Yuto’s hours of duty. Sighing, you forced yourself from your bed, wrapping the fluffy blanket around your body.

I must be delirious, was your first thought as you saw Suna at the other side of the door.

“Did something happen?” You asked, trying to hold back a cough, hoping he wouldn’t notice.

He looked every bit uncomfortable as he handed you a paper bag. “Here.”

You reluctantly received it and peeked inside. Care package. You looked up at him questioningly. “What’s this for?”

He broke the eye contact and mumbled something.

“Sorry? What did you say?”

He let out an annoyed sigh and forced himself to look at you eye to eye. “Jiri told me you were sick and that you probably got it from me. She scolded me that I shouldn’t have asked you to stay in the same room because it’s risky for pregnant people.” His eyebrows furrowed. “What are you smiling about?”

“Nothing,” you replied but you knew your smile was still on your face. “You didn’t have to go out of the way to give me this, you know.”

“Then what the fuck was I supposed to do? Jiri would have never let me hear the end of it.”

“Hmm... could have just said ‘sorry’, maybe?”

Suna rolled his eyes and opened his hand, palm up. “Forget it, then. Give that back.”

You clutched the care package against your chest. “No way! No taking back, this is mine already!” Before you knew it, a giggle escaped your lips. You immediately froze, realizing it was Suna you were talking to. However, when you dared to look at him, there’s a barely noticeable hint of a smile on his lips, the atmosphere between the two of you warm. “Good night, Y/N.”

It’s only when the sound of his footsteps have receded that you realized what happened: he just called you by your first name.

“Mrs. Y/N Suna?” The secretary’s voice brings you back to the present. “Please enter room 125.”

You gather your things and make your way into your doctor’s office. She greets you with a warm smile. “How are you doing, Y/N?” The doctor asks as soon as you’ve settled down on your seat. “You haven’t visited in a while.” Megumi Hirai is a nice lady who’s in her early forties and you’ve taken a liking to her in the past few years. “I take it you’ve been busy?”

You nod. “It was the kids’ birthday party yesterday. There was a lot of preparation that needed to be done.”

“Oh, that’s nice. How old are they now?”

“Five,” you smile proudly. “I feel like they’re growing up too fast. I want them to stay little for just a little bit longer.”

At that, Dr. Hirai laughs. “Every parent experience that. I see no reason for you to worry though, you’re still young. Isn’t it about time that you and Rintarou try for another child?”

The smile on your lips drops a little. “We’re too busy for that this time, I think.”

Sensing that you want to change the subject, Dr. Hirai moves on to another topic. “How’s work going?”

“Great,” you reply. “A bit stressful, but it’s all good.” Despite the Suna family saying there’s no need for you to work, you still got yourself a job at a local publishing company. You’ve been loyal to it, and now you’re one of the head editors.

You’ve always been passionate about writing and editing; you could say you were depressed when you had to let go of the internship at the global publishing company because of the sudden pregnancy. The memories of you sharing that to Rin and him reluctantly helping you find a job poke at your head.

You will yourself to stay at the present. “I’m still happy with my job.”

“That’s nice to hear.” Dr. Hirai smiles. “What’s your concern, then?”

“I’ve been having these extreme headaches for the past few weeks. Sometimes they last long, sometimes they pass quickly. The other night, I think I passed out.”

The doctor hums. “Any other symptoms?”

“Um, I can’t think of any…”

“Have you noticed any trend on the times when they surge?”

You shake your head no. “Not really. I honestly don’t think it’s serious but they’ve been becoming more frequent lately.”

“Okay.” Dr. Hirai says, pulling out some papers. “I’ll be requesting for you to undergo some tests. Have them done as soon as possible so you can schedule another checkup with me.”

“Thank you, doctor.” You take the request forms.

“You’re welcome,” Dr. Hirai smiles kindly. “And Mrs. Suna?”

“Yes?“

“Don’t downplay the headaches you’re experiencing. You never know if they’re actually underlying symptoms of something serious. Have a nice day.”

 --------

“I’m sorry to be saying this, but you don’t look too well.” Osamu Miya is placing the take-out rice balls you had just bought in the paper bags as he alternately looks between his task at hand and you, who’s sitting at the counter.

You had decided to drop by his restaurant before picking up the kids from Sacha. His statement makes you bite your lip. “Is it that obvious?”

“That you look like you had no sleep and cried your eyes out for hours?” Osamu asks in reply, then takes a deep breath. “Yes.” The gray-haired man shakes his head. “Rin is so fucking stupid. I’m sorry.”

“You don’t have to apologize on behalf of him, Osamu,” you say. “He’s your best friend but his actions are all his own choices.”

The twin keeps quiet for a while as he finishes packing your order. In the meantime, you rub your fingers against your temple, symptoms of a headache beginning to manifest again. You close your eyes, hoping it goes away. Once you open them, you see Osamu staring intently at you. “I have a confession to make,” he says.

This piques your interest and you lean a little bit forward. “What is it?”

“It’s all my fault,” Osamu says, gulping. “After that first night we met, I went to Rin’s parents and told them what happened. He initially confided in me that he got someone pregnant and I wasn’t planning on getting involved until I met you. You were nice and kind, I couldn’t let Rintarou to just fuck up your life.

“I thought once he gets married, once he gets to know you... he’d grow and change. But I was wrong.” His eyes are now filled with guilt and apology. “I’m sorry, Y/N. If I had known that Rin wouldn’t change one bit during the past five years – ”

“Stop,” you cut him off, no longer wanting to hear more. “That’s all in the past now.” You contemplate your next words carefully. “Besides, it’s not like Rin was completely horrible to me during the time we’ve been together.”

Osamu’s voice is filled with curiosity. “What do you mean?”

It’s at that exact moment that the door of the restaurant swings opens and someone enters, your heart dropping once you see who it is.

Suna Rintarou. Your husband.

 -------

 Suna hasn’t seen you since the night before and he definitely wasn’t expecting to see you here at Osamu’s restaurant. Once you face him, he immediately notices the redness of your eyes that your makeup wasn’t able to cover. He chooses not to think about the reason behind them.

“Hey, Rin,” his friend waves at him from behind the counter. “Y/N is here.”

He rolls his eyes as he stalks toward the counter. “I’m not blind, ‘Samu.” He takes the stool next to yours and immediately notices you tense. He inwardly sighs, remembering what happened last night. He turns to face you and gets a little surprised when he sees you gathering your purse and the paper bag from the counter.

“I have to go. Bye, Osamu! Thank you for these!” And in a moment, you’re out the door.

As soon as you’re gone, he feels his best friend’s curious eyes on him. “What? Gonna ask me to go run after her?”

Osamu rolls his eyes. “As if you would.”

While his friend is right, the statement still annoys Suna. “Why was she here, anyway?”

“As if you care.”

He tries to mask his annoyance as he clenches his jaw. “You’re, right. I don’t.”

There’s a beat of silence before Osamu speaks again. “Why are you here, Rin?”

Truth be told, Suna’s agenda was to force Osamu to join him on a night of drinking where he may or may not tell him about what happened last night. But seeing you here... and then Osamu’s rather irritating replies... “Forget it, I’m leaving.”

“Did you and Y/N fight?” His friend’s question makes him stiffen.

Suna rolls his eyes. “We often argue. You know that.”

“Yeah,” Osamu replies rather curtly. “But this time, it seems as if you’ve crossed the line.”

To his own surprise, Suna replies with, “Yeah, I think so.”

He doesn’t need to look at his friend’s face to see the surprise on it. “Wow, that’s a lot... coming from you. What happened? Please don’t tell me you hit her.”

He glares at the man. “I’m an asshole but I would never lay a hand on a woman, even if I hate her.”

“Why do you hate her, Rin?” Osamu asks. “What has she ever done to you? You still have your job and inheritance; you can still fuck around... I know she doesn’t demand much from you about the kids. In fact, she got the short end of the stick. Why do you hate Y/N?”

Instead of answering his friend’s questions, Rin adjusts his position on the stool and makes a fist against the counter. “She confessed to me last night.”

“And what did you say?” Osamu’s voice begins to become unreadable.

“Nothing.”

“Nothing?”

Suna shrugs. “We were having an argument so I figured she was just trying to fuck with my head.”

There’s a short silence that follows but it’s long enough to make him feel uncomfortable.

“Are you really that blind?” Suna prefers it if his best friend is shouting at him at the moment. But alas, Osamu sounds so calm and everyone knows that Osamu Miya is ten times scarier when he’s acting calm during moments that would call for him to be mad.

“What do you want to hear as my answer?” Does Osamu want him to admit that all these years, he thought your hurt towards his treatment was solely because you wanted to have a happy little family? That he didn’t think you actually fell for him in those few months that you were in good terms? But, admitting those would mean he needs to tell Osamu about that time, those five months where he opened his heart to you. Those five months that he never dared tell anyone.

“Jesus Fucking Christ, Suna!” Osamu slams a hand against the counter, anger and frustration evident in his voice. “Anyone with an eye can see that Y/N is in love with you! Though it remains a mystery to me how she managed to fall for a dickhead like you, it’s clear that she loves you!”

Other explicit things leave Osamu’s mouth and Suna just stays there and takes them all. Once his friend is only heaving deep breaths, he begins to talk. His turn. “You asked why I hate her. Well, my answer is short.” He mentally sighs and, finally deciding it’s due time for Osamu to know, says the name that haunts him to this day.

Osamu’s eyes widen. “You mean...?”

“Yeah.”

He watches as a conflicted look dawns on his friend’s face. “Do you understand me now?”

“Kind of.” His friend’s gaze hardens a bit. “But you do know you’re being unfair to Y/N, right?”

Suna stands from the seat, retrieving the cigarette box from his pocket. “I know.” As he walks the short distance from Osamu’s restaurant to his car, all Suna can think about is, And I think maybe it’s about time I should apologize to her.

  ------

You’re inside the bedroom, just finishing up changing the sheets. Ever since Jiri left three years ago and you and Rintarou never hired someone new, you’ve been in charge of keeping the house tidy. In reality, you just had changed the sheets a week prior but what happened four nights ago just makes you want to change them, hoping that as they come clean, so does your relationship with Rintarou.

It’s been three days since the fight and oddly enough, Rintarou comes home on time and even doesn’t complain about sharing the bed. He barely acts as if you exist, cementing your belief that confessing to him was a totally wrong move. However, there are times when you feel him staring at you, as if he wants to tell you something...

You shake your head, reminding yourself that there are lots of things to do. First of all, the test results that you got yesterday after having the necessary check-ups from the day before. Second, the papers you have requested after a long call that you had last night.

You’re too engrossed in your thoughts that you fail to notice that Rin has entered your room. He’s wearing his work clothes which always make him look ten times more attractive. You straighten on the bed and try to look at his eyes. To your surprise, he meets your gaze. “We need to talk.” You both say at the same time.

You bite your lower lip, and seeing as he’s not saying anything, you take it as a cue that he’s allowing you to speak first. So, with a deep breath, you say the words you’ve been practicing in the shower this morning. “I want to file for divorce.”

TO BE CONTINUED.

[sommerregenjuniluft]

TRICK OR TREAT LUNE !! 🎃👻

CASS<3 it's been months maybe even a whole year since i last properly wrote this but have some iwaoi nonetheless (it's a swimmer au, kind of. oh, and it also plays in italiy!)

His arms flare out to regain his balance when he plants his feet into the ground mere centimeters away from Hajime’s before he leans back again, clasping his hands behind his back.

„Buongiorno!“, he says with a cheery voice, tipping his head to the side making finer, stray pieces of hair fall out of place and giving Hajime a practiced smile. 

There’s the slightest hint of an accent swinging with the three syllables that Hajime can’t quite categorize.

The boy is a little taller than him, 5 centimeters at best, but even so Hajime has to tilt his head back with how close they’re standing.

His eyes are just as brown as his hair, probably, given that hair always looks darker when wet. Up close he doesn’t look as pale but he’s still lighter than Hajime and there’s a faint splutter of freckles layering the sunburn on his nose.

A voice in the back of his head forms the word pretty, that’s when Hajime realizes he has yet a word to say but definitely a point to make, so he shoves the unwanted commentary of his unconsciousness back for later and tries to focus.

“You cannot do that here,” he says in lieu of a greeting.

“Mmh, yes I can,” the strange boy retorts, tilting his head back straight, smile forgotten, replaced by a pouty frown.

“No, you can’t. It’s prohibited and it’s dangerous.”

“I didn’t see a sign,” he replies, making a show of looking around as if that’d make one magically pop up.

“It doesn’t need a sign, it’s common sense! Do you see signs around here telling you not to steal?”

“It’s not the law here, I checked. Capitano Mizoguchi tried to make us stop, but failed, obviously,” he circles a single finger around in the air lazily, “so he told us to beat it to where it’s not his responsibility anymore. He didn’t want to call the cops on us so he sent us off. This ain‘t the beach, so we can do whatever we want out here.”

He barely gives Hajime enough time to process all the information of his excuse before continuing, this time with a smile again. “And since you’re apparently new here, ’cause I haven’t seen you around before—and believe me, I would have noticed a face like yours—I suggest you check in with your superiore first before trying to interdict something again, alright, bagnino-kun?” he leans even further into Hajime’s space at the last words and, to Hajime’s absolute horror, tabs his pointer finger to the tip of Hajime’s nose.

Completely baffled, the only thing he seems to grasp in the clutter of thoughts whizzing through his head is that Hajime has read enough Manga in his early teens to realize the intent behind the nickname.

He sputters at the audacity of the opposing boy which only results in this one’s grin turning into a shit-eating one, completely abandoning his innocent façade.Before Hajime remembers how to say don’t call me that in a way that doesn’t make him sound like a petulant 5-year-old having a temper tantrum he’s cut off by the once again returning roar of cheering teens at the head of the cliff.

The next big enough wave brings two more boys up with it drawing his attention back down, one Hajime doesn’t recognize catches himself with his hands on the ledge and twists his body at the waist to land on his butt, the other swings one leg up to plant his foot near the ledge and almost topples forward with a laugh when the wave pulls him to the ground.

A laugh Hajime recognizes.

The boy jogs the excess momentum off before straightening his torso and coming to a halt a few paces beside them.

He whoops and starts snickering again before finally turning his gaze to Hajime and his laughter dies, and so does the annoyance that had been simmering under Hajime’s skin just a moment ago.

“Really, Hanamaki?” he deadpans.

trick or treat fic writer ask game

[sixofravens-reads]

some vague reading goals for 2024:

first, an anti-goal: I won't make any goals about how many books I want to read. I want to get into more of my other hobbies in 2024 which means less reading time, so I can't have the pressure of a numerical goal that demands I spend all my free time reading or feeling bad for not reading. I will probably still use the storygraph reading challenge thing because I like using it to track what I read in the year, but the "goal" I set will be completely arbitrary.

reread a bunch of things! i love rereading but have been so laser-focused on reducing my TBR books the past couple years that I haven't done very much of it.

on that note, a few years ago I had an idea for a blog series called "nostalgia rereads" where I reread a book from my childhood/teen years and compare what I remember of it to my adult experience. I read one (1) book for that and then got distracted, but I have been buying a lot of those older books so I'd like to finally do that series.

start a reread of my Tamora Pierce books (though idk if I can finish it in one year, there are 32 of them now including anthologies, and I don't have my childhood stamina for reading a ton of one author's works at once lol)

read more nonfiction. i have a ton of really interesting books on my library list that i just haven't gotten to.

also, use the library more and buy fewer books (i have an overall goal to spend less money in general). I'd like to buy under 70 books next year (I know that still sounds like a lot, but I bought over 100 this year, so...baby steps)

keep my "books i own and haven't read" shelf to under 30 books so i don't get overwhelmed by it again (currently there's 43 books on it, most of them short, so this isn't a Huge reading goal)

read more translated books. I've got Flights by Olga Tokarczuk and There's No Such Thing as an Easy Job by Kikuko Tsumura on my shelf, and a bunch more on my library list.

stop forgetting about my comics and manga, and try and read more of them consistently instead of buying a bunch and forgetting them (hopefully not having a numerical reading goal or novel-specific goal will help with this, because I always feel like I'm "cheating" when I read comics and count them towards a numerical goal, and that's why I don't pick them up.)

on that note, read (reread?) Death Note, as I got the box set at the comic expo this year (I tried to read this series as a teenager but someone had massacred my library's copies and cut out all the pages with violence, sexy stuff, etc.)

read at least 1 Stephen King and 1 Agatha Christie novel, been meaning to get into those authors for years and somehow haven't done it yet.

start keeping notes on each book (probably on my phone) so it's easier to remember what I thought of them. at the end of the year when I make my top 10 or whatever list, I always have a hard time remembering what my true favourite books were bc I can't reference what I was thinking in the moment.

annnnd resurrect my Librarything account. I will need to do this early in the year, preferably after I finish weeding out all the books I want to get rid of. I only use Librarything to keep tabs on what books I own, what editions, etc, so reviews and such will still be on storygraph. There's a not-insignificant chance that the current housing crisis/skyrocketing rent might make me move back in with my parents for a bit, which means almost all my books will be in boxes and I'll need a digital catalog of some sort.

[pepper-steam-milkshake]

Timeline of Pre-ADA Dazai-Centric Events

Okay, so. I have fallen down the research rabbit hole yet again. I thought, “hey, I’ll write some Dazai POV to get into his head so I can write him better! Let me just do some research first!”

...That was my first mistake.

Anyways, here’s a timeline of Dazai-focused events from before he joins the Port Mafia up until he leaves it. I didn’t go further because I mostly wanted to focus on Dazai prior to his joining the ADA.

WARNINGS: This timeline mentions suicide, torture, violence, death, etc. I imagine if you’re reading this, you’re a BSD fan and already familiar with the content of it, but doesn’t hurt to mention it.

SPOILERS: This timeline contains spoilers for the following:

MANGA

Bungou Stray Dogs Main Manga

Dazai, Chuuya, Fifteen Years Old

DEAD APPLE

LIGHT NOVELS

Dazai, Chuuya, Fifteen Years Old

The Day I Picked Up Dazai

Stormbringer

DEAD APPLE

Dazai Osamu and the Dark Era

ANIME

Season 2, Episodes 1-4

Season 3, Episodes 1-4

DEAD APPLE

Hopefully I’ve covered all my bases. If you don’t want spoilers for ANY of those, I would NOT read this, because it absolutely goes into detail.

--

0. At some point, the Sheep offer for Dazai to join them, which he refuses.

(Dazai Osamu) "A long time ago, I was invited to join the Sheep. Of course, I refused."

Dazai, Chuuya, Fifteen Years Old, Chapter One

WOLF WITHOUT SHEEP’S CLOTHING: There is not a specific time mentioned for when Dazai was given said invitation, but it has to occur before the events of FIFTEEN. It’s very possible this offer was extended prior to even meeting Mori, but without more info, it’s not entirely clear. The offer was not given by any on-screen members of the sheep (Shirase, Yuan, etc), as they do not recognize him when they see him with Chuuya. Based off info from Stormbringer, it was probably some time between the age of about seven to fourteen.

The Sheep were initially founded by orphans as a mutual aid organization...

(Shirase Buichirou) “Back then, the organization was still small.”

Stormbringer, Code; 02

For reference, Chuuya joined the Sheep early on, and that was after Rimbaud and Verlaine broke him out of the government at age seven.

--

1. Dazai meets Mori Ougai after attempting suicide at the age of 14.

It was a year ago that the two became destined collaborators. Mori, who was the chief physician, and Dazai, who was just an attempted suicide patient...

Dazai, Chuuya, Fifteen Years Old, Chapter One

DAZAI’S AGE: At first, I thought, ‘wait, Dazai might have been 15 during the assassination’, since it says it was a year ago give or take. I wasn’t 100% sure; however, there is a quote (listed below) that does in fact confirm that Dazai was 14 when he first met Mori.

--

2. Dazai and Mori then immediately decide to kill the current Port Mafia boss within the next 24 hours.

...had collaborated to carry out a secret operation: assassination of the head of the Port Mafia...

A 14 year old boy was there. It happened in front of Dazai’s eyes.

Dazai, Chuuya, Fifteen Years Old, Chapter One Screenshot from Season 3, Episode One

NOT PORT MAFIA YET: So, at this point, Dazai is now a witness for Mori’s killing the Port Mafia boss, and also for him being “officially recognized” as the boss’s successor. He is not officially a member of the Port Mafia at this point.

--

The next few events occur during the time between this point and FIFTEEN.

--

3. Mori has at least one attempted assassination. It fails, and the traitors are killed.

Already this year, two members had made an assassination plan for Mori. Of course, the traitor was executed...

Dazai, Chuuya, Fifteen Years Old, Chapter One

--

4. Dazai repeatedly tries to kill himself, and Mori stops these attempts.

(Mori Ougai) “How many times do you think I stopped your suicide this year?”

Dazai, Chuuya, Fifteen Years Old, Chapter One

MORI’S MOTIVATION: Mori has stopped Dazai from killing himself for two stated reasons: one, because of the mentioned assassination above, and two, because he wants Dazai to be his right-hand man. (ASSUMED: Take over the PM in the future?)

--

The following are events from FIFTEEN.

--

5. Dazai gets his first Port Mafia job from Mori.

(Mori Ougai) “This is your first job. Welcome to the Mafia.”

Dazai, Chuuya, Fifteen Years Old, Chapter One

MAKING IT ALMOST “OFFICIAL”: This line implies that by Dazai taking the mission to see if the previous Port Mafia boss is actually alive, he is going to join the Port Mafia. A later line in FIFTEEN contributing to this:

(Dazai Osamu) “Finish this job safely, join the mafia.”

Dazai, Chuuya, Fifteen Years Old, Chapter Four

--

6. Dazai meets Hirotsu.

Dazai raised his face and spoke to the escort mafia walking behind him... “...Um...”

“Hirotsu.” The escort mafia responded...

Dazai, Chuuya, Fifteen Years Old, Chapter One

OLDER GENTLEMAN: It is implied that this is the first time that Dazai meets Hirotsu by the fact that Dazai didn’t know his name. There’s also the context clue of the fact that Hirotsu didn’t seem to recognize him outside of him being the witness for the previous PM boss’s death. Hirotsu is initially very distrustful of Dazai. Dazai appears to have some level of respect for him, as we are informed that he asked for Hirotsu specifically to be his escort.

--

7. Dazai meets Chuuya.

The next moment, something hit Dazai’s torso without any warning...

Something was on top of Dazai, the same thing that hit Dazai a while ago and blew him away--a black figure.

Dazai, Chuuya, Fifteen Years Old, Chapter One Screenshot from Season 3, Episode One

NOT SHOWN IN ANIME: Dazai actually rolled down a hill, smashed through multiple huts + a fence due to the attack from Chuuya, and then Chuuya proceeded to beat the shit out of him while interrogating him for info. Also, a decent amount of mafiosi show up alongside Hirotsu when he goes up against Chuuya, which implies that Mori had people tailing them just in case things went sour.

Dazai’s ability was also only triggered if the subject is touched. His ability blocks and negates the triggering of all abilities--the ultimate anti-ability. There was no exception to the invalidation.

DAZAI’S ABILITY: I thought that the above description was interesting. Prior to this, Chuuya’s ability was explained, which mentioned that he could “change the direction and force of gravity as long as the object touched was somewhere on their body.”

--

8. Dazai makes a bet with Chuuya to make him his dog for life. He wins.

(Dazai Osamu) “...let’s have a contest to see who can catch the culprit first... But if I win, you’re my dog for life.”

(Nakahara Chuuya) “...Bring it on...”

Dazai, Chuuya, Fifteen Years Old, Chapter Three Screenshot from Season 3, Episode Two

DON’T MAKE BETS YOU CAN’T WIN: This may not seem important, but considering it involves the status of what could be considered one of Dazai’s subordinates, I think it’s relevant.

“You and Chuuya-kun had a bet.” Randou said. “In that case, you won. Since you found the culprit first.”

“Thank you, Randou-san.” Dazai smiled.

Several lines later...

(Nakahara Chuuya) “--ound you!” There was a violent shout. “I win the bet with this scheming bastard! You’re the culprit!”

Dazai, Chuuya, Fifteen Years Old, Chapter Four Screenshot from Season 3, Episode Two

HEY, THAT’S NOT FAIR!: Chuuya, of course, says that since he didn’t finish explaining that Randou/Rimbaud is the culprit, Chuuya won instead. (This is more spur of the moment, however; Dazai continues to push this.)

--

9. Dazai and Chuuya defeat Rimbaud.

Blood invaded Randou’s respiratory tracts and overflowed from his mouth. He fell face first towards his won pool of blood with a wet noise.

Obviously--it was fatal.

Dazai, Chuuya, Fifteen Years Old, Chapter Four

--

10. Dazai joins the Port Mafia and is given power of the army.

“...When I said I was joining the mafia, Mori-san was so pleased he jumped up and down... I was given command of this unit and forced to do my first job.”

Dazai, Chuuya, Fifteen Years Old, Chapter Five

IT’S A LITTLE DIFFERENT: If you watch the anime, Dazai does not actually state that by this point, he is officially in the PM. He simply tells Chuuya that he is here to recruit him by Mori’s orders.

--

11. Dazai makes Chuuya join the Port Mafia.

Screenshot from Season 3, Episode Three

THAT’S LOYALTY FOR YOU: Dazai forces Chuuya to join the Port Mafia by holding the Sheeps’ lives at stake, while also ensuring that the Sheep don’t trust Chuuya anymore. Yikes!

--

12. Dazai meets Q and is informed that his next job involves them.

Next to Dazai was Mori in a white coat and a small child holding a doll.

“Hehe, I’m Kyuusaku! Hey, wanna play? Wanna play?”

Dazai, Chuuya, Fifteen Years Old, Epilogue Screenshot from Season 3, Episode Three

HE’S LITERALLY BABY: Mori tells Dazai that his ability nullification will help in showing the true form of the ability. As we all hear about later... this cannot end well.

--

13. If Q is Dazai’s next job, we can probably assume that the event where Dazai ends up imprisoning Q happens sometime between FIFTEEN and Stormbringer.

Screenshot from Season 2, Episode Seven

Unfortunately, there is no true confirmation about when everything with Q goes down, but going by the fact that we don’t hear anything about Q again until in the main series (Season 2, Episode Seven being his first appearance), it can probably be assumed that it happened not long after his introduction to Dazai.

--

With that, the events of FIFTEEN come to an end. Things get a little fuzzier here, because now, we have The Day I Picked Up Dazai. I was going insane trying to figure out where this fits in, because it goes somewhere between FIFTEEN and the Dragon’s Head Conflict... but so does Stormbringer. The only reason that I think it could fall after Stormbringer is thanks to Side B, where Dazai drops that he is a Port Mafia Executive:

(48 member) “You... who the hell are you? How can you do this?“

(Dazai Osamu) “I’m a Port Mafia executive.”

The Day I Picked Up Dazai, Side B

...in the BEAST universe, which doesn’t necessarily mean he’s one in the OG universe.

Then, I did more research. Dazai doesn’t become an executive until after the Dragon’s Head Conflict, as he and Chuuya discuss the candidacy for becoming one after one of them is killed. So, that quote above is completely 100% irrelevant!

HOWEVER. When reading Stormbringer, Dazai is in the pits of despair and flatly states to Verlaine:

“I want to see the Port Mafia burn.”

“Because I’ve grown bored with it... In the end, I didn’t find anything.”

Stormbringer, Code; 02

After meeting Oda, he wouldn’t react like this. Therefore, it only makes sense chronologically for Stormbringer to come first.

The tears I’ve shed in the past several hours trying to figure this out. Good lord. Anyways. Stormbringer time.

--

14. In the year after he joined the Port Mafia, Dazai crushes organizations, creates new trade routes, etc. He’s been busy.

It’s been one year since he’s joined the mafia. Dazai commanded a secret unit under the boss’s direct control... A number of organizations have been crushed, and a number of new trade routes have opened up.

Stormbringer, Code; 02

HE’S “KILLING” IT: Career-wise, Dazai is doing great! Mentally, he is incredibly ill. It is stated that he is one of the most successful mafia members at the moment simply due to how quickly he has progressed. He also handled the gem trade before it got handed off to Chuuya:

“Wow, so confident. You’re in the gem trade? Sounds like it’s going pretty well.”

“Oh, I know. Before you took over, I was in charge of that.”

Stormbringer, Code; 04

--

15. Dazai meets Verlaine, who promptly tries to kill him.

(Paul Verlaine) “Even while trying to kill you a couple days ago, you seemed to feel almost nothing.”

Stormbringer, Code; 02

ORDER OF DEATH: According to my reading of Stormbringer, Verlaine went after Dazai first the day before going after the Flags. Dazai says to Adam later on in the story that he gave him information in order to ensure that the last target Verlaine would go after would be Mori:

“Everything, literally everything--from Verlaine’s targets, to Detective-san, to Researcher-san--has been based on the information I gave him.”

“Mori-san was originally going to be the first one killed, but I manipulated the information so he was last on the list.”

Stormbringer, Code; 03

ORDER OF DEATH (cont.): This sounds pretty damning in regards to whether or not Dazai caused the Flags’ death. However. Dazai also says pretty soon after:

“You’re more than welcome to try to find out [how Dazai got Rimbaud’s notebook], but no matter what I’ll only tell you lies. I’m a liar, after all.”

If Mori was going to be the first one killed, why did Verlaine first go after Dazai? A simple answer: Dazai is lying to Adam. Or, at the least, not everything he’s saying is the whole truth. This is also questionable by the fact that Dazai sees Verlaine again later and states that he was always on the Port Mafia’s side. Dazai rarely if ever speaks the whole truth out loud, and without actually being in his perspective during this (we are seeing through Adam’s eyes), it’s hard to know the specifics.

Later on, when Chuuya is torturing Dazai by spinning him until he vomits (yes this is absolutely important information what do you mean) as they discuss the plan against Verlaine, Chuuya states:

“He gave N’s information to Verlaine to earn us some time knowing I would be tortured. Not to mention, as a result of that information, Detective-san was killed.”

Stormbringer, Code; 04

With this quote, it seems like Dazai more led to Murase’s death (and N’s attempted assassination), and not the Flags.

--

16. The next day, Dazai nullifies (partial) Corruption for the first time.

The boy casually grabbed Chuuya’s arm and lifted it up.

At that moment, the abnormal gravitational field that surrounded them immediately disappeared, along with the insufferable pain Chuuya had felt.

Stormbringer, Code; 01

--

17. The day after that, Dazai hands off Port Mafia secrets to Verlaine in exchange for his life.

(Paul Verlaine) “This is the inside data on the Port Mafia?”

It was an extremely valuable document that recorded all of the Port Mafia’s secrets.

Stormbringer, Code; 02

PM SECRETS: I’m assuming this includes the Arahabaki Project (knowledge of N). Dumb question: Dazai is not an executive at this point, so how did he get his hands on this? Possible answer: Mori probably gave him the info to help trap Verlaine. I don’t know. This is more speculation on my part.

--

18. Dazai and Chuuya defeat Verlaine (Guivre) through the use of Corruption.

Guivre wasn’t shooting anything at them now... It didn’t make a sound, just peacefully disappeared.

Stormbringer, Code; 04

FIRST TRUE USE OF CORRUPTION: Dazai and Chuuya successfully defeat Verlaine’s Guivre form (like Chuuya’s Arahabaki form) through Chuuya’s Corruption, which Dazai nullifies once it’s all over.

--

Bam! That’s the events of Stormbringer. Now, the Dragon’s Head Conflict doesn’t wait for long until after Stormbringer, but Oda has joined the Port Mafia by the point that it occurs. That means that The Day I Picked Up Dazai occurs sometime in that year.

--

19. Dazai bleeds out on Oda’s doorstep. On purpose.

The young man’s wounds are clearly from gunshots. He has been shot multiple times... to top it all off, he is holding a bunch of new notes in his left hand... A supernote.

The Day I Picked Up Dazai

REALLY CASUAL: It looks like Dazai was trying to steal counterfeit money, and then got shot for it. Then, he chose to pass out on Oda’s doorstep, as evidenced by this later statement:

“How about I tell you why I went and collapsed in front of his house in the first place? Because I knew of a rumor. That no evils can come close to that house, be it burglars, smugglers, or mafia. No matter who it is, it is just around that house that they can’t cause any troubles. It is a “calm-zone.” It is as if they are afraid of something, or someone there.”

--

20. Dazai attempts to die under Oda’s care. Repeatedly. Over the span of a few days.

His first request is for pufferfish’s organ sashimi... Next is grilled amanita virosa.... The last dish is potato sprout salad.

The Day I Picked Up Dazai

WAIT, THAT’S POISONOUS!: When Dazai realizes that Oda isn’t going to let him go, he starts asking him for dishes containing deadly ingredients (unknown to Oda, I guess?!).

Also, later:

Dazai suddenly comes up with the idea that if he jumps out of the door with a gun in his hand, there are chances that he can be shot dead by the cops. Oda tells him there is no gun in the house, so he decides to get a knife instead.

...trying to choke him unconscious. Dazai, as a result, struggles happily while kicking his legs around... it makes the knife Dazai was trying to grab earlier fall off right to where Oda is.

Dazai keeps kicking the kitchen stand and this time, it’s the kettle above Oda’s head that’s going to fall.

The Day I Picked Up Dazai (Summarized Translation)

YIKES!: Oda proceeds to choke Dazai unconscious so he’ll. stop doing things. Literally this is all happening in, what, five minutes?

--

21. Dazai and Oda are abducted by the organization “48″.

The cops take out two gas masks and put them on their faces. Then they throw a gas grenade towards Dazai and Oda. Oda realizes that they are actually not cops.

The Day I Picked Up Dazai (Summarized Translation)

WHO PASSED THE GAS: 48, as informed by Dazai after he sees Oda again, is an organization of dishonorably discharged police officers. They abduct Oda (and Dazai) to try and get hold of a painting that Oda stole years ago.

--

22. Oda takes Dazai to Bar Lupin for the first time, Dazai gives him the nickname of Odasaku, and Dazai extends the offer for him to join the Port Mafia. It is implied that he accepts.

“Is this, by any chance, the place you should go before you die?” Dazai asks, his voice sounds disappointed. “Isn’t it just a normal bar?”

...

“Okay, I have decided. You are Odasaku... You are too strange for a short name like Oda. And Oda Sakunosuke is just too long to call. You are Odasaku. From now on, whenever someone asks for your name, you have to say so.”

...

“If the other side of the world doesn’t work, you can run to a deeper place.” “...I promise you. If you join, you will no longer be bothered by anything from your past. Because no past can touch that place.”

The Day I Picked Up Dazai

SO I STARTED SOBBING: Oda lied to Dazai when he met him and said that there is a place that one needs to go to before dying, and reveals after escaping from “48″ with him that it is Bar Lupin. They then proceed to play poker, tell stories, and more. Oda is assigned ‘Odasaku’ by Dazai, and after acknowledging that other organizations are probably just going to keep coming after him, Dazai offers for him to join the Port Mafia.

Dazai nods and takes the cards from me. Then in a casual tone, he says those words. “When are we meeting next?”

I’M NOT CRYING. YOU’RE CRYING. STOP.

--

So, Odasaku joins the Port Mafia under the behest of Dazai. This then brings us to the Dragon’s Head Conflict, featured in DEAD APPLE. By the way, please keep in mind that all this has been happening at the age of 16 from Stormbringer to the Dragon’s Head Conflict!

At some point, Ango does join the Port Mafia, although according to some lines from Dazai Osamu and the Dark Era, it seems like he actually joined around the same time as Dazai and Chuuya?:

Two years ago, one year after Ango joined the Mafia, Ango had earned the trust of the organization and travelled to Europe.

Dazai Osamu and the Dark Era, Chapter 2

The Dark Era takes place about two years after the Dragon’s Head Conflict. Ango joined a year before the Dragon’s Head Conflict, which took place not long after Stormbringer. Stormbringer takes place a year after FIFTEEN. I sound like one of those ‘Illuminati Confirmed’ videos. Anyways, this is 100% relevant.

--

23. Dazai and Odasaku meet Ango for the first time.

By word of mouth, I’ve learnt that the youth is a newcomer by the name of Sakaguchi Ango... At that time, the Dragon’s Head Conflict had just gotten into full swing.

Dazai Osamu and the Dark Era, Chapter 2

THE TRIO MEETS: Dazai and Odasaku are taking care of dead Port Mafia members during the conflict, and they go to Ango for cataloguing. They then proceed to drag him to Bar Lupin:

Later, Ango, Dazai and I go to the bar and start chatting.

--

The DEAD APPLE light novel is a novelization of the movie, but the manga gives a lot more info. The movie did come first though, interestingly enough!

--

24. Dazai gets abducted on purpose by the “White Giraffe” (Shibusawa).

DEAD APPLE Manga, Chapter 8

A+ COMMUNICATION: Shortly after a heated conversation with Chuuya about the newly opened executive position, Dazai goes missing. He intentionally gets himself captured to draw Chuuya to his position.

--

25. Chuuya and Dazai find Shibusawa and kill him using Corruption.

DEAD APPLE Manga, Chapter 10

6 IS A MAGIC NUMBER: Chuuya rescues Dazai, and they go after Shibusawa. He discovers that Shibusawa pushed his six friends to suicide, and decides to annihilate him through the use of Corruption. (Good lord, this sounds familiar. Please save Chuuya. Man needs a break. And therapy.) This ends the Dragon’s Head Conflict.

--

26. Dazai and Chuuya become known as “Double Black”.

And after the Dragon Head’s Conflict, the mafia changed and grew again. There was the rise of “Double Black”, Dazai’s promotion to an executive, the Laughing Lemon case, the Mimic incident...

Stormbringer, Epilogue

--

27. Dazai becomes an executive.

Despite the fact that we are in the same organization, Dazai is an executive, Ango is an intelligence agent, and I am a low ranked operative with no title.

Dazai Osamu and the Dark Era, Prologue

PROMOTION: Dazai’s becoming an executive probably happens not long after the Dragon’s Head Conflict, since there’s an open position. It is also confirmed that on the same day...

--

28. ...Dazai finds and takes in Akutagawa as his protégé.

"I actually got promoted today,” he said. “I’m part of the leader [executive] class now. Which... you know what they say--the fancier the title, the more responsibility and other nonsense you have to deal with.”

“Of course,” he continued, “there is one good thing about this title. It gives me the right to hire a single underling, someone who acts under my direct control... I’d like to invite you into the Port Mafia.”

Bungo Stray Dogs Manga, Volume 6, Short Story: The Heartless Cur

FAST DECISIONS: Within the 24 hours that he became an executive, Dazai immediately chooses to invite Akutagawa to the Port Mafia as his personal underling. He accepts and brings Gin with him.

--

29. Whatever the hell the Laughing Lemon case is. I don’t know. Asagiri I want answers. I don’t even care about what’s happening in the manga anymore now, Asagiri what is the Laughing Lemon case. Asagiri please. I feel like this is Kaijii related and I’m so curious and confused. What’s up with this. You need to elaborate.

--

At this point, we can probably jump ahead to the Dark Era, which is about two years post-Dragon’s Head Conflict. Dazai is 18 years old now; he has had Akutagawa, been friends with Ango and Odasaku, been an executive, been one half of “Double Black”, and more for about two years. I certainly wasn’t that productive 17-18, but go off, king. Anyways, shit is about to hit the fan.

--

30. Dazai, Odasaku and Ango have drinks together (happily) for the last time.

“That’s it, let’s take a picture!” Dazai bursts out suddenly, “As a commemoration!”

“Dazai, why the sudden urge to take photos?” “I don’t know. I just feel like if we don’t take a picture now, there won’t be another chance...”

In the end, there would never be a second chance for us to take photos in that bar.

Dazai Osamu and the Dark Era, Prologue Screenshot from Season 2, Episode One

LOOK AT THIS LOSER: He blinked. Cringe.

SINCERELY THOUGH: Dazai suspects Ango of doing something shady, and before things go from bad to worse, he has the three of them take a photo together.

--

31. Dazai finds out the name of the latest organization the Port Mafia is going up against: Mimic.

“The only words we got was the name of the enemy... Mimic.”

Dazai Osamu and the Dark Era, Chapter One

--

32. Dazai saves Odasaku at his request from Mimic assassins.

“Odasaku! Get down!” At this moment, I hear Dazai’s voice.

“Did you kill them?” I glance at the fallen assassins. “Mmhmm.”

Dazai Osamu and the Dark Era, Chapter One

--

33. Dazai and Odasaku begin to realize that Ango was lying to them, and something weird is up. They start to investigate more heavily.

--Ango. Mimic. Attack. Everything is starting to come together.

Dazai Osamu and the Dark Era, Chapter One

Dazai is running around everywhere collecting information on Mimic.

Dazai Osamu and the Dark Era, Chapter Two

--

34. Dazai is assigned to be the main person to handle Mimic by Mori.

“In the end, I was appointed as the battle strategist and front line commander to tackle Mimic. I’ve already settled some matters and set up a few simple mousetraps. It shouldn’t be long until the war begins to show signs of activity.”

Dazai Osamu and the Dark Era, Chapter Two

--

35. Dazai successfully captures Mimic soldiers... who are promptly killed by Akutagawa.

A total of three corpses lie in the cell. They haven’t been dead for long... The deceased are Mimic soldiers.

“Luckily, because of you, all three of the enemy soldiers were caught are now dead.”

Dazai Osamu and the Dark Era, Chapter Two

UNHEALTHY: Dazai doesn’t take this well, of course.

Without letting him finish, Dazai swings a fist at Akutagawa’s face. Akutagawa is sent flying.

Three gunshots, three flashes of light, three empty bullet shells roll on the ground with a crisp sound.

“The next time you screw up, I’ll hit you twice and fire five shots, understood?”

Screenshot from Season 2, Episode Two

--

36. In spite of this, Dazai successfully gets a lead and informs Odasaku.

According to what Dazai says, a wilted leaf of a broad-leaved tree had been found stuck on the bottom of a Mimic’s soldier’s shoe.

Dazai Osamu and the Dark Era, Chapter Two

--

37. Dazai figures out that Mimic is planning to annihilate the Port Mafia. The executives make the decision to give their all against Mimic.

“While Odasaku was bedridden, there have been six stores in the mafia’s turf that were bombed. The damage is increasing every minute.”

“...We can confirm that they really plan to raze the mafia’s territory to a flatland.”

“A five-executive conference has already convened, and it has been decided that we will use all of the mafia’s forces and face Mimic.”

Dazai Osamu and the Dark Era, Chapter Three

--

38. Dazai, Odasaku and Ango meet for the last time at Bar Lupin. Ango provides information before leaving both the bar and the two mafioso behind.

Dazai and I walk down the dimly lit stairs leading to the basement floor.

Sitting at his usual spot, in his usual tone, Ango raises his glass at us in greeting.

“We’re here to obtain information on Mimic. You should have known that by now, right?”

He [Ango] slowly rises from the barchair, as though listening to the sound of his own footsteps, walking out of the shop with his head lowered. I probably won’t meet Ango again.

Dazai Osamu and the Dark Era, Chapter Three Screenshot from Season 2, Episode Three

--

39. Dazai tries to stop Odasaku from going after Mimic. He fails.

“Odasaku, I know what you’re thinking, but I still have to stop you. Even if you do that--” “Even if I do that, the kids won’t come back?” I say.

“Odasaku,” Dazai says quietly. “I hope you will forgive me for speaking so strangely, but don’t go! Go and rely on something, hope that something good will happen next, that something will definitely happen.” I walk off. Despite Dazai’s shouts, I don’t look back.

Dazai Osamu and the Dark Era, Chapter Four Screenshot from Season 2, Episode Four

SOMEONE TO FIGHT FOR: Odasaku is one of the very few if not only person we see Dazai actively fight for. Ango didn’t even get this treatment. Chuuya gets this treatment more or less, but it’s fairly begrudging. It is apparent from this how much Odasaku means to Dazai--he even talks about trying to live for something, similar to how Odasaku has spoken to him. He is desperate at this point.

--

40. Dazai goes to Mori to get permission to save Odasaku and promptly discovers that Mori was planning this all along.

“Do you agree to mobilizing the organization’s executive level gifted squad to storm Mimic’s headquarters to save Odasaku?”

“That envelope is--” Something inside Dazai’s mind starts to move violently, flashing. “So that’s how it is... So that’s what this is all about.”

“I just can’t accept it. The one who secretly told Mimic where the orphans Odasaku was raising were hidden was you. Other than you, no one else could have obtained information on the hiding place I chose.”

Dazai Osamu and the Dark Era, Chapter Four

TRUE EMOTIONS: Dazai is furious in this scene. He is horrified and disgusted that Mori has decided to sacrifice Odasaku (and Odasaku’s kids, but less so) to get the Ability Business permit. He is probably the angriest we’ve seen him since the beginning.

--

41. Dazai essentially says “fuck you” and goes to save Odasaku.

“I want to tell you two things, Boss. First, you won’t shoot me, neither will you order your subordinates to shoot.”

“I am going for one reason, because he’s my friend. I’ll be leaving now.” The subordinates raise their guns, fingers on the trigger. Uncaringly, Dazai strolls towards the door. The subordinates look at Ougai, requesting for him to give the order. Ougai crosses his arms, carrying a slight smile as he looks at Dazai’s back wordlessly. Dazai passes through the door and heads towards the corridor, then disappears.

Dazai Osamu and the Dark Era, Chapter Four

DEFIANCE: While Dazai by no means sticks strictly to Mori’s wishes--we’ve seen this since the beginning--this is the first true act of angry defiance against him that we know of. Mori anticipated this response, but it is still insane that Dazai, the normally incredibly apathetic bastard he is, is so outraged and takes direct action with that.

It’s a shame.

--

42. Dazai arrives too late and finds Odasaku bleeding out.

Dazai rushes towards Odasaku’s side, checking the severity of the wound. The bullet has pierced through his chest and blood is pooling on the floor--it’s obviously a fatal wound. Dazai falls to his knees, kneeling by Odasaku’s side.

Dazai Osamu and the Dark Era, Chapter Four Screenshot from Season 2, Episode Four

THE MOST EMOTION WE’VE SEEN. EVER: At the time this post is made, we’re at Chapter 107 in the main manga. Even with that, I truly do think this still remains as the most extreme emotion we’ve ever seen on Dazai in every way. Odasaku is the equivalent of Dazai’s best friend, and he’s shot and dying in front of him. He had given Dazai a reason to keep going, motivated him to still push forward. Dazai made exceptions for this man. And now, he’s dying.

--

43. Odasaku’s final words to Dazai.

“You once said that ‘if you immerse yourself in a world of violence and blood, perhaps you would be able to find a reason to live on.’”

“Aah, I said that, but that sort of thing now...”

“It can’t be found.

“You should know this yourself. No matter whether you’re on the side of killing people or saving people, there will never be anything that can surpass your mind. There is no place in this world that can fill your loneliness. You will linger in the darkness forever.”

“Odasaku... I... What should I do?”

“Go to the side that saves people!

“Since both sides are the same, become a good person. Save the weak, protect orphans. Regardless of whether it’s justice or evil, there isn’t a big difference between the two... But, doing that would be better.”

“How do you know that?”

“I know, I know this better than anyone else.”

“I understand... I’ll do that.”

“’Humans live to save themselves. They will understand this before they die’... Well... said...

“I really want to eat curry...”

Dazai Osamu and the Dark Era, Chapter Four

THE PATH FORWARD: If Dazai’s loyalty to the Port Mafia was shaken by this point, it was now shattered. His best friend’s dying words were to leave the Port Mafia and try to do better things.

--

44. Dazai goes to Odasaku’s funeral.

Dazai stands before that epitaph. Dazai is dressed in black funeral attire, a bouquet of white flowers in his hands.

Dazai takes out one photo, placing it before the epitaph. The three people in the photo, in a moment where time has stopped, have smiles that will never disappear carved onto them.

Dazai Osamu and the Dark Era, Epilogue

--

45. Two weeks later, Dazai goes missing.

“Leader, Executive Dazai-san has been uncontactable for two weeks. To decide the next executive, it should be time to call for a five-boss conference...”

“Don’t convene the executive meeting. Just keep Dazai’s spot empty.”

Dazai Osamu and the Dark Era, Epilogue

--

46. Dazai meets with Chief Taneda of the Ministry of Internal Affairs at Bar Lupin.

“I’m looking for a new job. Do you have any place you’d recommend?”

“...What do you hope for?” “A place where I can help people.” Dazai replies immediately. “Your ledger is too marred. To clear it, you have to lay low for around two years. But... let me answer your question first. It’s not as if I cannot find such a place.”

“There is an armed organization comprised of ability users. They’re in charge of handling grey areas, troublesome matters that cannot be entrusted to the military or city police. The director there is a man with a good heart, he might be able to grant your wish.”

“What is the name of that organization?” “Name? That company’s name is--”

Dazai Osamu and the Dark Era, Epilogue

TWO YEARS: Dazai decides to join the ADA, and goes underground for two years.

--

Screenshot from Season 2, Episode Four

And with that, Dazai’s four years in the Port Mafia come to an end. What a shitty teenage experience, honestly. Asagiri really went “want to see how much trauma and mental illness I can fit in this bitch?” and then did that. I mean, he did that to every character to be frank, but from Dazai’s very introduction, the man is messed up on so many levels.

I feel like I’ve learned a lot more about Dazai’s character by writing all this, and to anyone who happens on this, they might feel the same. But honestly, it’s just bonkers thinking about all this. And again, this doesn’t cover everything that happened to Dazai in the Port Mafia! We still don’t have a dedicated light novel to the Laughing Lemon incident, for example! We hear a lot about years 15, 16 and 18, but we know little to nothing about what happened when Dazai was 17. Plus, there’s the two years where Dazai goes underground--what happens to him during that time? And what about him meeting the Sheep prior to Mori? What about the fourteen years he was alive prior to Mori?! It’s just bonkers to me, man.

To any poor soul who read all this, you’re absolutely insane and I salute you. Now, I should probably either work on writing, or get some sleep.

[quirklessidiot]

Title: pretty eyes [short story] Pairing: Gojo Satoru x gn!reader [soulmate au; takes place eight years before the yuuji and sukuna fusion] Genre: josei, romance, fluff, comedy, and your normal tragic angst!

Summary: in which the right eye is mine and the left eye is yours and when we meet for the first time, you see your own eyes staring back at you. Warnings: language, blood, minor manga spoilers, mild ooc gojo and death

Notes:  can we all just sit down admire satoru? Like the eyes man, the attitude omg... Ah im so sorry in advance  if hes ooc here sksksk it is my first time to write about any jjk characters and I havent fully grasped them yet despite reading the manga anyways i wont be online next week and tomorrow so i decided to publish this ahead of time. ily all and again thank you for the love and support, it does mean a lot *bows down* see you all again when i’ve got time? jskskss i fucking hate college and online classes, satoru save me please soulmate au’s [not read in any particular order nor are they connected, they just share the same trope]  Pretty eyes [gojo vers.] ||  lasting blues [toji vers]

tragic soulmate au series || taglist 

“Pretty.” were the very first words you uttered in complete awe as you saw yourself in the mirror and no, this wasn’t directed to your physical appearance. It was directed to your left eye, the eye of your soulmate.

Contrasting to your normal boring color on the right, your soulmate’s eyes were ethereal and unreal. How could someone have such pretty eyes? It was completely surreal at that point that you refused to believe that someone with these eyes were actually human.

You placed one hand and gently caressed the left side of your face where the pretty eye rested, “You must be an angel.” you muttered, “Only angels have pretty eyes.”

Thus      like every child     you gave your soulmate a nickname, ‘pretty angel’  and every night before you slept, you’d wonder out loud how your pretty angel was doing, if they were nearby, or anything like that. You wonder what type of food they like, do they like to leave the window open for a cool wind or do they like their chocolate hot or iced.

Yet as you grew older, the pretty angel faded out into your thoughts. The pretty idea of soulmates and love disappeared like the story books you read as a child. The pretty blue eyes on your left is forgotten as life takes a toll on you.

They say death was inevitable, when your mother died in middle school, you watch as your father’s left eye turn to your mother’s color. You watched as he clenched her hand, like it was some last resort of plea. You watched him cry as he passed by the mirrors and you wondered, would it hurt like that too?

It baffles you how beautiful and cruel the soulmate system was.

How every time your father would stare at his own reflection, his left eye would be nothing but a reminder of your dead mother.

You let out a second meek cough in the quiet bookstore that night, the sounds of the car passing by were nothing but quiet noise to you as you immerse yourself in the literature book you were reading, your students would surely love this one.You let out another cough as you turn around to find a small space to read since standing for too long made you tired too quickly. 

You’re too enchanted by the words of the author that you don’t even notice the rather tall man in front of you.

You look up, ready to give a quiet apology but stop short when you notice how ethereal the stranger looked. Albeit he wore a pair of weird Lennon shades at this time of night, he reminded you very much of an angel with his snow white hair.

You don’t even notice how your left eye is returning back to it’s normal color, the stranger does though and it surely was odd to see his eyes on a stranger.

“Well,” the stranger has a shit-eating grin decorating his handsome features, he definitely looked like trouble for sure, “This is unexpected.”

He lowers his shades and your eyes immediately widen as you suddenly cup the left side of your face, you’d recognize those unique eyes anywhere, after all, you had those on your left eye since you were born, “Y-You.” you muttered, the shock momentarily eating you up.

“Yeah, me.” He grins, loving the sudden attention, “Wow, I was expecting something like fireworks or flowers to appear.” He suddenly teased, bending down to your level.

Now that you notice it, he was very, very tall.

“I…” You blink, trying to gain your composure, “Wow…”

“Did I pass your expectations?” it’s been a few minutes since you started talking and all he has been doing is teasing you. 

“You do look like an angel.” You complimented and his eyes widened at the rather out-of-place compliment, “Your eyes are very pretty, thanks for letting me borrow them for twenty-two years.”

Gojo Satoru thought he had the upper-hand, after all, you looked quite meek but when you said those compliments, he was sure that you were going to be the teasing one in this whole-soulmate thing.

So he tries to one up you.

“I’m Satoru Gojo but you can call me tonight.” He grinned, trying to tease you once again, the corny pick up line sounds suave but your blank expression says otherwise.

“I’m Y/N L/N and  think I should call you in the morning, it is quite late right now and I still have classes at eight am.” You mumbled, looking down at your watch, “How about you just walk me home, then?”

“Okay.” Satoru immediately raises his hands, signaling that he was giving up, “First off, you should be more hyper aware that I may be a serial killer.”

“Are you?”

“What?”

“Are you a serial killer?” you repeat, “That would be awfully disappointing if my soulmate was one since I’d immediately give you up on the police. I’m not interested in being in a Bonnie and Clyde type of thing and I think it’s too early for me to die.”

“You’re very upfront about these sorts of things.”

“Well, you’re very teasing for someone who just met their soulmate a few minutes ago.” you shrug, “So, are you going to walk me home or not?”

“Ah, bossy too. I love the attitude already.”

“We’re spending our whole lives together. You might as well get used to it.”

You’d think the idea of soulmates would scare you after the firsthand experience with your parents but curiosity always got the best of you and the white-haired man proved that maybe it would be different this time.

Throughout the few months you’ve spent with him, You’ve noticed that Gojo Satoru and you may be alike in some ways but in most ways, he was different. 

First, he was enigmatic. You’ve known the man for a couple of months now and you’ve been going out on dates but you don’t know much about him except that like you, he’s a teacher at a good school and he tends to be conceited when he talks about his personal skills as a teacher.

“...What are you doing?” Satoru asked, peeking from behind your shoulder as you type in the grades of your student for your class.

“I’m grading my students.” You muttered, it was after dinner at your place and he was lazing around your place, the sound of faint jazz music could be heard throughout your small space and the wafting smell of freshly baked brownies filled the room, “Aren’t you supposed to be doing something since you're a teacher?”

Satoru quirks a brow as if you had said something odd then it seemed like realization had dawn upon him at that moment.

“Ah, I’m not doing much since my students are on break.”

“Didn’t you say that last time?”

Silence filled the room and Satoru breaks it off with his very famous ‘heh’ that made you inwardly roll your eyes and chunk the pillow that you’ve been hugging towards his direction, “Stop slacking off, you’re a teacher.” You scold him mildly, followed by a small cough.

“Ah, Y/N-chan. You’re so mean to me,” He frowned, handing you the mug filled with water, “...No fair.”

“You're a teacher and you’re slacking off.” You deadpanned, ignoring his sly ways of trying to get you in his arms, “How is that even fair?”

“My students can handle themselves so well that I don’t need to babysit them.” He hmphed,  arms crossed and head held up high in a rather arrogant manner. You could only only scoff back a reply at his rather haughty attitude but you’ve gotten used to it to the point where you just roll your eyes.

“You’re a very bad teacher, Satoru.” 

“Hey, I am considered one of the best and it’s an honor-”

You clicked your tongue and just pinched his cheek in reply to get him to stop drawling on about his achievements. You wondered if you dated a man child or something.

Second, despite his teasing nature and good looks, he’s a rather shy bean and has some insecurities about it too, maybe it was because there were moments where you couldn’t really understand your soulmate and his puzzling life. He didn’t tell and you didn’t want to pry because you technically both had your whole life to get around that subject.

Luckily, you seem to have found a remedy for moments like that.

“Satoru…” You called out to your soulmate who was staring at the nutrition content of the wafers on his hand, “Satoru!” 

“Oh, sorry. What were you talking about?” he finally snapped out of his daze and turned to you who was standing there, hand on your hip. The crispy wafers on his hand are long forgotten. 

Your soulmate is good looking, alright. If anyone were to pass by him they wouldn’t see the minor zilch of worry in his eyes.

“Are you alright?” You ask, walking closer to him, completely serious.

“...You aren’t going to leave me, right?” 

You raise a brow at the sudden question, wasn’t he too young to have some mid-life crisis? Was this because of the soulmate movie you watched late last night about the soulmate leaving their other half to rebel against the system and because of his partner’s family?

“Why would I leave you?”

He blinks once, then twice, the only sound that could be heard was the familiar music playing throughout the grocery store, it was as if no one was there during the mid-day. Satoru proceeds to look away, “I don’t know. What if you realize that you don’t like me as your soulmate and you followed what the dude did in the movie?” he started to mumble, mouth pressed on a straight line.

“Ah, the whole rich in-laws.” you blinked, “Don’t tell me you’re a son of some huge clan in japan that’s loaded and I’m going to be a disgrace to your family name or something?”

It came out as a joke at first, it really did and you were going to laugh but when you notice the straight face he has on, you realize it was anything but a joke.

“Oh.” 

“Yeah, Oh.” 

“Aren’t I supposed to be the one asking that question then?”

“What?” He almost half-yelled, eyes wide behind his usual shades that he seemed to wear a lot, “That doesn’t make sense!”

“Neither does your question, Satoru.” You frowned, massaging your temples, “I should be the one asking you that, are you going to leave me?”

“Of course not.” He sputters out.

“Then there goes my answer too.” You replied, huffing out as you grab the sweet wafers on his hand to put into the cart, “You’re very weird.”

“You’re weird.”

“No, you are.”

“You seriously asked me if I’d leave you because of your rich family in the middle of the day.” You deadpanned, inching closer to him to the point where your lips are brushing against his.

“This is unfair.” He huffed, suddenly turning red, “You’re attacking me in broad daylight.”

“Oh dear.” Your beguiling eyes, enjoying his rather embarrassed state, “This isn’t attacking, Satoru.”

Then you closed the distance between you two, his eyes seemed to widen behind his shades at your forward approach, clearly you guys never did PDA. You took this as an opportunity to lick his lower lip so you could slip your tongue in and as he starts getting into it and placing his hand to cup your ass, you pull away with a big smile on your lips, “That’s attacking.” you grinned.

Satoru seemed to have regained his senses quickly after that rather heated public make-out session, he placed his hand on top of his mouth and feigned embarrassment, “My, My, I didn’t think you’d enjoy those types of things in public.” he was back to his normal teasing self.

Well, that seemed to have worked very well.

“Mhm,” 

Yet unknown to you those thoughts still lingered in his head, it wasn’t just his family that he was worried about, it was also regarding his job as a jujutsu sorcerer       something he has yet to mention, he’s not even sure if you’d believe him       it’s a normal occurrence for people like him to die in this occupation and he’s scared that one day, you’ll see your left eye turning back to his eye color with no valid explanation.

Not only that but the amount of people who’d go after you to get to him, he clenched on the shopping cart tightly

“I’m tired.” You cut his thoughts short and Satoru turns to you, unlike him, you weren’t physically active so you tire easily, even joking around that you were a granny in a child’s body, “Can we sit down after this and get some gyudon?”

“Sure Y/N.” he grins, giving you a one-arm hug and kissing your temple.

Third, he’s terrible with kids, period, no questions asked. 

Your eyes narrowed to slits as he brought in one of his students named Megumi, the boy is quiet and compared to your giant and teasing soulmate, he’s serious. In fact he was more serious than the tiny pinky of the white-haired man.

“...Are you kidnapping a third grader?”

“He’s one of my students.”

“You don’t even know the first thing of looking after kids.” You pointed out, “And didn’t you mention that you teach high school students?”

“Well,” he drawled on, “It’s kind of a long story but he’s technically a genius.”

You let out a stifling sigh, “You’re impossible.” you mutter, bending down to the small boy’s level, “Would you like something to eat in compensation for him annoying you?”

The boy nods mutely.

“I wasn’t annoying him!” He corrects.

“He looks very annoyed standing next to you.”

“That’s literally what he looks like!”

You roll your eyes in reply and turn to the young boy, handing him a pastry that you had brought earlier. You  watched Megumi eat his pastry in front of the television that played some child-friendly show as you let out a soft cough and pour yourself some water

“Are you alright?” Satoru asks, resting his head on your shoulders.

“Yeah,” You replied, “Why’d you ask?”

“You’re looking quite pale these days.”

“Maybe it’s the allergy season, already.”  you nonchalantly replied, taking another gulp of water, “You’re terrible with kids, by the way.”

“That’s why I’m a high school teacher, Y/N.”

This connects you to your fourth observation, he’s nonchalant and easy going but he harbors a rather deep worry for you to the point where you wonder if he was really your soulmate or your mother incarnate. Three years into the whole soulmate thing with him, you still couldn’t help but think that he’s doting nature was quite adorable.

You feel like you’re coming down with a cold these days, your head has been throbbing and your cough is worsening. Satoru’s eyes are filled with nothing but worry as he handed you some medication. Your soulmate was now a mother hen and if it were different circumstances, you’d laugh it off.

“We should go to the doctor.” He nagged you once again.

“I’m literally going to sleep it off.” You hoarsely replied, “I’ll be fine, Satoru.”

“You literally sound like you smoked a pack with your voice, are you sure?”

“I am.” You glared, “Don’t sleep-”

Before you could even finish what you were saying, he flops right next to you in the bed, “-I literally told you to not sleep next to me.” you scolded him.

“A mere cold won’t phase me.”

“I swear to god, Gojo Satoru. I’ll kick you out.” He ignores your ministrations and snuggles his head on your neck, his warm breath tickling it, “You’re impossible.”

“You love me.”

“Sadly.”

“Hey.”

“I’m kidding.” you let out a quiet chuckle, looking down at your soulmate and running your hands through his white hair, “I love you very much, you idiot.”

“Hard same.”

“Never mind, I take it back.” you giggle.

And after a rather short playful banter between you two, you find yourself sleeping and snuggling on his long limbs. You think all is well, you really do. That was until you wake up later at three am in the morning with a loud coughing fit. Satoru immediately sits upright and opens your nightlight but what he sees next, scares him more than the curses he has ever encountered.

Your sheets are now stained in blood from the coughing fit that had just happened and you're completely taken aback too, completely breathless.

“Y-Y/N…” He gulps down, quickly taking the sheets away from you, “Let’s go to the hospital now, please?”

“...L/N-san, have you been getting coughing fits before this?” the doctor asks, looking up from your chart. Satoru watches you shake your head as you clench the paws of his jacket, the doctor takes off his glasses, “How about coughs that don’t seem to go away? Getting tired too easily?”

Satoru doesn’t like where this was going, he doesn’t like where this was going at all.

“Um, just some dry coughs and I’ve always been an inactive person.” You quietly replied, contrasting to your usual bright and teasing demeanor, you looked too tired this morning and Satoru just hopes it’s because he dragged you out of bed at four am to get yourself checked asap.

“Y/N-san, has any of your family members been diagnosed with lung cancer?”

The whole room is silent and you could almost hear a pin drop, Satoru feels his knuckles suddenly turn white, “I recalled my okaasan died because of that.” You replied silently and the doctor nods feverishly.

“...Y/N-san...It pains me to say this but the reason you’ve been experiencing this is because of the tumors located in your lungs.” Satoru feels his heart drop when he hears those words, “We have to do further tests to confirm-”

“Do it.” Satoru cuts the old doctor off, his hands are visibly shaking already, he hopes that this was just a misdiagnosis, that this doctor was just a bad one or better yet whatever excuse his mind could make up at that moment, “Do all the tests needed for Y/N, please.”

Fifth, he’s very supportive towards you and your impulsive decisions. If he could join you in it, he would but you usually decide against it.

It’s another quiet night for you as you sit across from your soulmate at the dinner table. You’ve grown awfully thin and your hair was starting to fall off due to the chemoradiation, this day marked the third month since you found out that you have lung cancer just like your mother. Surgery was apparently too risky so the safest option right now was this treatment. 

You don’t deny the anxiety eating you up every day, specifically the fear of death, you’re even more worried for Satoru since not only had he been paying for your treatment but he had opt to take care of you, saying that his job would be fine without him since you were going to get better soon anyways.

“Would you still love me if I shaved my hair?” You asked, your voice still quite hoarse.

“You kidding me? I’d still love you even if you turned into a roach.”

You immediately crinkle your nose in disgust, “That’s disgusting.”

“Honest reply.”

Truthfully, the man had been your rock these past three months. You knew how hard it was for him to be happy around you, how he had put on a brave front and remained positive saying that this was just going to be a rough couple of months and you’d be back in no time despite the bleak outlook.

It kept you sane amongst the tragedy.

“I wanna shave my hair.”

“Like right now?”

You nod, “Can we use your electric razor?”

“You want me.” he points to himself, “To cut your hair?”

“I wouldn’t want anyone else to do it.” You grinned.

And that’s how you ended up in your bathroom after dinner, Satoru’s shades on the side and his concentration directly on your scalp. You had literally told him that he just needed to do it the same way as he shaved his beard but he was still scared. Apparently, he had never shaved anyone’s hair before.

“...Okay, Y/N. Here goes…” He proclaimed, switching the razor on. As bits and pieces of your hair fall to the ground, you feel your cheeks getting wet and your shoulders tense, Satoru is quick to notice the switch of emotion and immediately turns the razor off before bending down in front of you, “Woah, woah… Y/N….”

“I-I…” Your lips are quivering as the tears fall faster when you see his pretty eyes staring back at yours, you try to let out a laugh but instead it comes out as a choke sob, “Sorry, this is stupid. I’m literally crying over fucking hair.”

“No, of course not…” He replies, enveloping you in a hug, “Of course not.”

Satoru feels you start to shake in his arms and he knows he should keep his emotions in check, he’s a sorcerer for crying out loud but seeing you break down for the first time in three months had him shaking too, you didn’t deserve all this, fuck, you didn’t deserve any of this at all!

“Would you like me to shave my hair so you’d feel a bit better?” he asks. After recovering from your breakdown, you had asked him to continue shaving your hair because you might as well be done with it.

“Please don’t.” You reply, wiping your tears away, “We’d look like eggs.”

“Cute eggs, you mean.” He corrects, teasing you and trying to cheer you up, this was all he could do and he hates it. 

He really hates it.

What good was the title of being the strongest when he couldn’t save you from all of this?

Lastly, if you hadn’t highlighted it enough. He has pretty eyes, contrasting to your dull and boring ones, you always loved how different his eyes are. Sometimes you wondered why he dared to hide them behind his crappy and overused Lennon shades.

“Can I see them?” 

Your room is dimly lit as Satoru sleeps next to you on the hospital bed, you were growing weaker and frailer by the day and you could see the toll it took on your soulmate. You were heavily reminded of your father who was sitting right next to your mother on her deathbed.

“See what?” He yawned.

“Your eyes.”

“You’re awfully in love with them, huh?” 

“I’ve always been in love with them from the moment I saw it in the mirror.”

Silence envelopes the room with your statement and as requested, he takes the shades off and now you’re greeted by the most beautiful blue eyes that you love to look at in the reflection since you were a child, “Pretty.” You muttered, raising your frail hands slowly to cup his face, “Pretty eyes.”

Satoru takes in a deep breath as he places his hand on top of yours, the silence is heavy. You both know what’s about to come in the next few days, you’re lucky if you even last a night. Yet he doesn’t want to talk about it, he shuts the topic off quickly when you try to even raise it.

“Yeah.” he mumbles, staring at you, “Pretty.”

You let out a quiet laugh, “I doubt it, I’m anything but pretty now.” your voice hoarse, making him lightly squeeze your hands, “Will you be bringing Megumi tomorrow?”

“Yeah, the brat said he saved enough money to get you your favorite pastry.”

“That’s good.” you blinked, “I’m tired.”

Satoru feels his shoulder tense at your words, they were so plain yet at the same time so heavy, “Should I call the doctor?” he asks. You shake your head and just snuggle on his chest.

“No,” You mumbled, inhaling his scent and basking on his presence, “I want your warmth next to me.”

“Y/N?”

“Hm?”

“You know, you’ve always had prettier eyes.”

Yet you don’t reply and he feels your grip on his sweater lessen, he doesn’t even need to see his reflection to know that his left eye has returned back to your (e/c) ones.

taglist [if crossed out, it means you aren’t available for tags!]

@airybnb​ ;  @hcn421​ ;  @shinhiromi​

[goatsenpaiultimate]

You are different (Xiao x Manga Author! Reader) College AU- Introduction

Manga Author Reader x Xiao

Summary: You are a young manga author in your last year of college and you befriend a sophomore named Xiao who’s lonely and touch starved who takes a liking to you and he really loves your Manga. Question is, will you tell him that you wrote the Manga he loves so much? Will it break the trust he has in you?

Well, here you were, it has been tough, but you've finally made it to your senior year of college. You've managed to keep at least a 3.5 GPA and supported yourself through the selling of your different manga series. None were as popular as your most recent series, Genshin Impact. You were close to making millions of that alone. You saw quite a few people talking about it on the internet, on campus or even reading one of the books.

As you walked into your History class, you saw that only a handful of you had decided to come to class several minutes early. One particular boy caught your eye, the one with the dark blue hair with the oddly placed teal streaks. He was reading what looked to be the most recent chapter you had released not even a week ago. You couldn't help but smile a bit as you approached him.

"Mind if I sit here?" You ask, giving him a kind smile as he looks up at you, he quickly looks away as he shakes his head, a small blush spreads across his cheeks. Nobody ever wanted to genuinely sit next to him, let alone talk to him, especially not someone as beautiful as you. He was a bit tense as you sat down, just incase you had come to just bully him and mock him like others had in the past. He tries to just focus on reading again, burying his face deeper in the book

"I couldn't help but notice you reading Genshin Impact. It's got to be my favorite manga series of all time! I hope it ends well and the traveler gets reunited with their sibling. "You say, trying to start a conversation.

Xiao stopped reading wide eyed as he slowly moved the book away from his face. He slowly turned to you with those same wide eyes.

"....you....you read Genshin Impact?" He asked, turning fully towards you.

You felt a little triumphant inside on having got his full attention now. Man, you're sure if he knew that you CREATED Genshin Impact, he'd implode.

"I sure do! I've even got the first edition of the spin off, Genshin Impact: Age of the Archons." You say. He's gaping at this point.

"There's no way! It doesn't hit the stores until next week!" He said, narrowing his eyes.

You chuckle and reach into your bag, keeping your eyes on him and watch his facial expression morph from that of suspicion, to awestruck.

You could see he was physically shaking as you waved it in front of you.

"But I-! How did you-?!" He was at a loss for words. You had to be the most amazing person he had ever talked to. Whatever guard he tried to keep up was long gone at this point. You make a mental note. At first glance he looks shy, but when its something he enjoys, he really comes to life.

"Tell you what, tell me your name and I'll let you borrow it!" You say, placing it down on the table.

"Xiao! My name is Xiao!" He practically blurted out, which made other people turn to look at you two. He covered his mouth and practically sunk down in his chair.

You chuckle and slide it over to him.

"My name is Y/N. Let's be friends, yeah?" You said, winking at him and ruffling his hair before turning towards the front,

Xiao stared at you wide eyed with a face as red as Diluc's hair who sat across the room, getting his supplies out

He slowly put a hand on top of his head where you had ruffled his hair. That small bit of affection made his heart beat wildly and made him actually feel wanted for the first time in his life. You were so kind...and you wanted to be friends to boot.

He slowly turned to the front and scooted his chair a little closer to yours. This was about to be the start of something wonderful between the two of you.

[etherrreal]

“the things you do for charity”

Pairing: kenma x gn!reader Genre: fluff Summary: kenma's always been a private person, but it was getting increasingly harder to keep his partner off his streams while you live together; so, he decided to join his two loves together for a 24-hour charity stream extravaganza. Word Count: 3,408 Warnings: some swearing, i suppose there are some spoilers from the manga about adult kenma's job? A/N: i'd give my left tit to play some minecraft or mario kart with kenma tbh -Luna

Kenma's career as a popular streamer was one of the many facets of him that shocked you when you’d started dating two years ago. The two of you had first met in an Animal Crossing discord for your city meant for trading and making friends.

After you had gone over to his island to adopt Raymond from him, he let you keep all of your Nook Mile Tickets with the stipulation that you kept in contact with him to "give him updates" about how the cat villager was doing in his new home. His dorky way of trying to flirt with you was what made you pursue him in the first place, and somehow it had led to a very fulfilling relationship.

It was revealed early on that he was a streamer, but he never expanded on it regarding the actual numbers. Curiosity got the best of you one night, and you decided to google him. Besides also learning that he was a YouTuber, you found yourself in awe at the numbers he managed to accumulate across all of his social media.

And if that wasn’t enough, he was also apparently the CEO of his own business.

Once you moved in together around the one-year mark of your relationship, you got to properly witness the amount of work put into streaming and maintaining a social media presence. This also meant that you got to read the wild comments that were left on all of his platforms–and see the occasional surprise nude picture whenever he opened up his DMs around you.

Because of this, Kenma sat you down to have a conversation about your potential appearance on his social media. You both decided by the end of it that his audience would get to know that he was in a committed relationship, but you agreed it would be best to not show your face or reveal any identifying information of yours.

It had been a year since having that conversation, and you’d both stuck to the agreement closely. The most his audience had ever seen of you was your hand whenever you refilled his water bottle for him.

Of course, it was hard sometimes, especially when you had to remain extra quiet around the house and refrain from yelling out a 'baaaabe' whenever you needed something from him, but since he had his own soundproof office, it lessened the room for any accidental error.

Overall, you were content with never showing your face to his audience for the rest of his career. You knew how nasty the internet could get because of their parasocial relationships with influencers and streamers alike, especially when they discovered those influencers and streamers had a partner who wasn't them, even if they knew they never had a chance. You weren't sure your skin was thick enough to deal with rabid angry stans.

Which is why it was so shocking when Kenma decided one day to nix the agreement.

You were in your shared bedroom answering some emails when he came in. He was dressed in a baggy hoodie, sweats, and tied-up hair; his typical look for a stream.

After some time, you noticed that he was still standing in the doorway, not saying anything. When you glanced up at him, you found him awkwardly toying with the strands of hair that had fallen out of his bun, looking down at the ground like he was just waiting for you to notice him.

"Is there something you need, baby?" you asked. "You're just standing there all adorably shy."

"Yeah, so, um, I'm going to be doing a 24-hour stream this weekend to raise money for charity."

"Oh, really? Cool! I guess that means I'll be going to bed alone that night," you joked.

"Yeah, I guess. Um..." He started before scrunching up his face like he was uncomfortable with what he planned to say next.

"What is it? Do you need me to stock up on snacks and energy drinks? Just send me a list. I can pick  them up tomorrow."

"No, that's not it. I was thinking of making a stretch goal be you coming on stream so we can play Minecraft or Mario Kart or something...I mean, I totally understand if you don't feel comfortable. I could always replace it with something else. I know they've been wanting to see me dye my hair a bright color and dress up like an e-boy, so--"

"Really!?" you nearly yelled.

"What? That they want me to dress like an e-boy? Yeah, Kuroo said it would–"

"No, I mean..." You tried to fight the confused expression that was growing on your face, but your squinted eyes gave you away. "You really want me on your stream? Like face and all?"

"....Yeah, I really want to be able to share this with you. But don't feel like you have to do it just to make me happy."

It was a large ask when looking at the full picture. Kenma had his fair share of fans and "stans" who lacked boundaries, as seen from a select few who visited your home several times this year, or the handful that found you on social media already just from seeing a glimpse of your college ring on the hand wrapped around Kenma's water bottle.

There could be a chance you could receive direct hate on your social media just because you were a person who dated a popular streamer. You would then be in the public eye with little privacy and have a magnifying glass on all of your actions and words. Anything you did would then reflect on Kenma.

What if you messed something up and then Kenma lost viewers? Would they try to cancel you or him for it?

You backed away from all the negative thoughts before you could spiral and looked at the metaphorical 'pro' column.

If you agreed to appear on his stream, you would no longer have to sneak around your house in fear of being heard or showing up in his face cam. You both wouldn't have to feel guilty playing games off-camera with each other because you knew Kenma could be streaming it instead.

And who knew? Maybe his fans would like you. You had to admit, it would be a nice ego boost knowing that you were accepted by so many people.

And, most importantly: you could physically ask him in person what he wanted for dinner instead of texting him and waiting an hour for a break so he could respond, while you sat in the next room, starving, stuck in an endless cycle of wondering whether you should make a snack or if you should just hold off for dinner.

Maybe this was a good idea.

"Okay,” you decided, “I'll do it."

"Oh... alright. Cool." Kenma was trying his hardest not to show how excited he was that you agreed. When he saw the contemplative look on your face, he was sure you would decide that it'd just be too much work and say no. But hearing you agree made him giddier than he would ever admit to.

Despite the cool and collected façade he thought he was putting on, you saw the smile that threatened to break through and the red tips of his ears. You wondered if he felt the same weight being lifted off his shoulders as you did, knowing that, after this weekend, you'd both be finally out as an official couple to the world.

And, of course, the nausea of having to do all of it live in front of thousands of people. No biggie.

Saturday afternoon came and at 12pm sharp, Kenma began his grueling 24-hour charity stream. The bar had an overall goal of $150,000, and it began filling up at a constant pace right from the start. Donations ranging from $5 to $500 were flowing in rapidly, and you were trying your best not to feel nervous.

You both agreed that if he reached $50,000 within 5 hours, you would join him for an hour or two of Minecraft later that night. Part of you hoped that the donations would slow down and plateau for a bit, but when you saw Kuroo had donated $1000, specifically with the message that he hoped to see you on stream soon, you realized that it was a pipe dream.

So, you had to be your own hype person for now, to get prepared to show your face to thousands of people and not disappoint Kenma.

Whether it was the promise of your face reveal or the people who genuinely adored charity, it took only four hours for Kenma to break $50,000.

When he saw the number update live on stream, the viewers witnessed the most amount of expression Kenma had ever shown: eyes wide as saucers, mouth slightly agape, body frozen. You could see the gears struggling inside his head struggling to turn and comprehend what they all managed to do so early on in the stream.

"Thanks so much, everyone, for being so generous today... I guess this means we'll be having my partner on later tonight," he announced. You watched his chat explode with excitement, his special emotes flying in the chat.

You picked up your phone to shoot Kenma a quick text.

[you]:: hope you're ready to put our minecraft beds together in front of thousands of people 😏

Unsurprisingly, he left you on read. But dating him for this long meant you weren't even a little bit afraid of double or triple texting.

[you]:: maybe we can kiss under the light of an exploding creeper 😫

[you]:: or have a romantic walk through our rainbow sheep while a phantom looms overhead 🥰

It was after the third text when you finally saw him pick up his phone to text you back. You eagerly awaited his response, only to cackle when you read it.

[my sugar daddy]:: im going to replace you with hinata as my partner if you dont stop

Instead of annoying him any further, you set your phone to charge on your nightstand and went into the bathroom to get ready for the stream later.

Once you emerged, you picked up your phone to check the percentage and noticed a text from Kenma stating that he'd have you on at 8pm. You decided to spend the time until then cooking up some dinner for the both of you.

It seemed like time flew by because by the time you were done eating your food, it was 7:45pm. Only fifteen more minutes before you were live in front of all of Kenma's supporters. You refilled your water bottle and sat on the couch, staring at the blank T.V. as you practically dissociated from reality until Kenma came out of his office to retrieve you.

You noticed that he looked just as nervous as you did, despite his face not showing it the way yours did. His shoulders were up to his ears with tension, and his hoodie drawstring was pulled almost all the way through due to him fiddling with it.

He turned briefly to you after he brought you into his office, gesturing to make sure you knew to wait until he gave you the cue. He sat down, unmuted himself, and took down the 'away' screen he had for his audience.

This was it. Everything was going to change in literally ten seconds.

"Well, everyone...please welcome my partner, (Y/N)."

You walked cautiously around his large gaming chair and sat next to him in your modest desk chair that he had rolled into the room for the occasion.

Okay, you thought to yourself, now don't fuck this up.

"Hi, everyone."

Nailed it.

There was a painful moment of silence before the stream finally caught up, and you both heaved a sigh of relief when you saw nothing but declarations of excitement. Amongst the 'AHHHs' and spam of emotes were sweet comments about your appearance and how cute you two looked as a couple. You peeked over at Kenma and saw the ghost of a smile on his lips, elated to know that he was just as relieved as you were.

"Okay, let's start with the gameplay while we answer some questions," he said.

The questions and gameplay started out mild; when did you both start dating, how did you meet, who asked the other out first. They even asked a few simple questions about you specifically, like your favorite anime and your star sign. And while you did see a few bans in the chat after some inappropriate questions –no, you will not tell them the color of your underwear– most were easy and simple enough to answer.

Then they started to get a bit spicier.

"Bokutoslefttit donated $69.69 and asked, 'what is your main pet peeve with Kenma?'" he read, muttering a 'wow' under his breath at the username.

"Ooh, how can I be polite when exposing you?" you pondered while beating a cow to death with your sword. "It's probably how loud he gets whenever he's playing games with his good headphones on."

"I don't get loud," he defended.

"Oh yeah, you do. I've had to come in here several times to tell you to shut up like I'm your mother. I did it literally two days ago when you were playing with Lev."

"... Next question."

You rolled your eyes at his lack of comment but glanced over at the chat to pull up a new question. You stifled a laugh when you read, "Girlboss420 asked 'who has a fatter ass, Kuroo or (Y/N)?'"

"I'm not answering that."

"Come oooon, this is a Q&A. Can't have the Q’s without the A’s."

"Nope."

You were about to start reprimanding him for implying that Kuroo's ass was fatter than yours when you noticed he ran past you with a group of pillagers following closely behind. You turned to head into the house but when you opened the door, you noticed it was blocked off by obsidian.

"You are the absolute worst!" you exclaimed.

You made a break for it, sprinting past the shooting pillagers and around to the front of the house. You made it inside with only 2 hearts to spare. You turned, in real life, to Kenma to see him tight-lipped to avoid smiling about his betrayal.

"I'm moving my bed downstairs for the rest of the stream."

You both carried on with the stream without another incident, turning to the chat every now and again to answer some questions. Kenma even apologized to you by bringing home a horse that was named "I'm sorry."

It was about an hour and a half after you sat down when Kenma decided that he needed a bathroom break. Your heart fell to your ass when you realized that you'd be all alone to entertain his chat. You considered saying that you needed to pee as well, if it meant not having the spotlight on you.

Instead, when he got up to pee, you smiled and asked him to bring you back a snack and a refill. Oh, how the turns have tabled.

In the meantime, you decided to scroll through the chat and some of the donations to pick out another question to answer since Kenma was gone. You were initially looking for a funny or vulgar comment when you saw one that had a completely different vibe.

"Kermithateblog donated $25.00 and asked, 'what's your favorite part about being with Kenma?' Wow, that's a really sweet question. Let me think for a moment."

You paused to reflect on your relationship with Kenma over the two years you’d been together. You'd had your fair share of highs and lows like any other couple, but, in the end, you both learned how to work things out so you were both equally as happy in the relationship.

"So, as you guys know, he's a busy boy with streaming, creating content for YouTube, and also being a CEO of his own company, which all takes up the majority of his time," you began. "But when he finally can shut off his screens and crawls into bed late at night, I know that he's 100% there with me at that moment. He is able to give me his undivided attention and make me feel like his love for me comes above his love for gaming."

You gave a pause, trying not to get too emotional. You rarely got the chance to gush about Kenma because you knew how much he hated having attention on him, so if this was going to be your only opportunity to do so for a while, then you were going to take it.

"What y'all don't know is that he is the biggest baby when it comes to cuddling," you laughed. "He is absolutely the little spoon most of the time, and he loves when I stroke his hair and love on him all night. In a weird way, it makes me feel special and loved knowing that he trusts me enough to be vulnerable with me. I cherish the amount of time we have together because of that."

What you didn't know was that he had come back from refilling your water bottle rather quickly and stood outside the doorway to hear your speech. His heart almost burst when he heard your tender words describing how he made you feel. He knew that you rarely got to hear how much those quiet moments at night meant to him because he was guarded with his feelings.

Which is why he started into the room on a mission.

You smiled as soon as you saw him. "Welcome back, babe, we were just talking about--"

He approached you swiftly and leaned down to press a gentle kiss on your forehead. You hardly even got to bask in the moment before he was pulling away, setting down your water bottle as he sat back down with his controller in hand like he didn't just expose to his audience how much of a softy he really was.

It was in that moment when you realized how glad you were that you’d decided to appear on stream because you'd be able to look back at that clip over and over again to relive the intimate moment.

Noon on Sunday came at last. Kenma would finally be free from the prison of his office. Not to mention he could finally get off his ass and stretch.

Between your official appearance on stream and the sign-off, you popped in a few more times to say hello to the chat when you brought him some snacks and drinks. You stayed up through most of the night, although you accidentally napped for a few hours during the dead of night which gave you a little boost in energy.

In the end, the stream was a monumental success. Kenma had even managed to blow past his goal of $150k and make it to over $200k, which meant that he'd be getting the full e-body makeover for his next week of streams.

By the time Kenma came into your bedroom after freshening up and having a small snack, you were already dead asleep with your laptop propped open to show his now offline stream.

He tip-toed around the bed quietly, closed your laptop, pulled the covers up and over your curled-up body, and slipped in himself. As he settled, he felt you shift and grab at his worn t-shirt, opening your eyes slightly just to confirm that it's him.

He pulled you against his chest tightly, his body finally able to relax. He was sure it wouldn't be too long before he completely fell out.

"That was more fun than I thought it'd be," he heard you utter quietly.

"I'm glad you enjoyed yourself." His fingers gently danced across your shoulder blades as you mushed your face into his clean shirt. "I can't believe we raised so much today so quickly."

"I'm so proud of you, baby. You worked so hard on this."

"I also donated $2000 anonymously to speed up the process," he mumbled sheepishly, pressing a gentle kiss on the crown of your head in hopes to lessen the blow of his secret.

It was quiet for a moment, and he wondered if he’d genuinely pissed you off before he felt the vibrations from your laugh against his chest.

"...I can't wait to ruin your hair, e-boy."

Written by: Luna

[violettelueur]

FUSHIGURO MEGUMI || CHOOSE TO HELP PEOPLE UNEQUALLY

| featuring : fushiguro megumi ft. itadori yuji + kugisaki nobara from jujutsu kaisen

| warnings : grammar errors and spoilers from manga (chapter 55)

| form : imagine

| word count : 3203

| published : 01 january

| synopsis : After being sent back to your old middle school: Saitama Urami East Junior High for a mission, you unexpectedly run into someone who you are all too familiar with.

| barista’s notes : HAPPY NEW YEAR EVERYONE ʕ♡˙ᴥ˙♡ʔ we are staring off 2021 with a fushiguro megumi imagine that i have written and not to proud of to be honest....what an amazing start to the year ʕ ㅇ ᴥ ㅇʔ but i just finished catching up with the kdrama called ‘The Penthouse: War in Life’ and must i say, i hate all the characters in the show...like my mind is collapsing with the many plot twists here and there ʕ – ᴥ – ʔ but other than that, i hope you enjoy this cup of classic black coffee that i have mean. don’t worry, it is on the house ʕ•ᴥ•ʔﾉ♡

Staring up at the view in front of you, you couldn’t help but admire the large building that you once was just nearly a year ago after you had graduated from middle school. To be honest, you couldn’t help but smile at the memories that started to recall themselves in your mind. Back when everything was just normal.

Moving your view from the top of the building to your right hand, you carefully took one more look at your illuminated phone screen to see the message that you received from your current teacher causing your mind to pull itself back into reality on the situation you were in right now.

Idiot Sensei: Make sure you are able to get enough information on what is going on with the cases, remember to go see your middle school first~ much love your favourite sensei ♡

Idiot Sensei: Also I just heard that a few jujutsu sorcerers from Tokyo Metropolitan Curse Technical College have arrived, make sure to not blow your cover.

                                             ꕥ

“This is all the information you need”

Looking up at your teacher, you stretched out your hand to receive the file he was passing before you opened it to see what was inside, only to instantly be greeted with a few sheets informing you about a school called Tokyo Metropolitan Curse Technical College.

“Sensei what is this?” you asked curiously as you scanned through the documents, leading to him walking behind you to then to peek over your shoulder before saying in glee “I don’t know~ I haven’t read through it either Y/N, let’s read it together!” which caused you to roll your eyes in annoyance.

“How did the school get so much information about Jujutsu Tech? How did they get the teachers and professional sorcerers names? Sukuna? What is going on in that school? Wait, they couldn’t find the student’s names?” you began to frantically question as you continue reading the file while turning over the pages to see if there was anything else you could pick up before you stumbled upon a picture of your old middle school, leading you to then read the page that it was attached to.

“So….we suspect that one of Sukuna’s cursed fingers is the reason why there has been a rise in deaths near your old school~ and from what we could gather, a Jujutsu Tech student’s sister is also cursed due to her taking part with the bungee jump at the bridge near there,” your teacher explained, causing you to then look over at him in more annoyance since you knew then he lied to you about not knowing what the file contained.

‘So you have read it….’

“Your mission is to get that finger Y/N,” your teacher then stated, causing you to widen your eyes at him. However, before you could even object to the mission, your teacher began to explain what was lingering in your mind the second you heard what he said. “The reason why you were picked was not only because you have been to that school is also because you are a special grade mage Y/N, I have confidence that you’re going to be fine~” he then explained before following it up by saying “good luck out there favourite student~”

‘But isn’t it the sorcerer’s business to get cursed objects?’

                                          ꕥ

“Ahhh, then why make me go on this investigation on my own?” you rhetorically asked as you placed your phone back in your black blazer pocket before turning your head once again to look at the entrance of Saitama Urami East Junior High, only to suddenly see the sorcerers that your teacher was talking about. 

From what you could observe, there were at least four people from Jujutsu Tech that were in front of you with one being a supervisor while the other three seemed like students that were around the same age as you, leading you to become more irritated at the fact that you had to put in more effort in your acting than you had originally wanted. Taking in a deep breath, you slowly began to breathe out at a slower pace before quickly making your way towards the school building. 

“To be honest, I was expecting someone from a different school to come but- oh, I guess they’re here,” the person mentioned, causing you to look up to find that it was your old principle that was talking to the students leading them to turn to look at you.

“Sorry, Was I late for the meeting? It’s really nice to meet you again sensei,” you gently greeted before bowing in front of him as well as the students he was talking to, only to suddenly be greeted with a familiar pair of eyes that you never forget the second you graduated from the school.

“Fushiguro? Is that really you?” you asked in a surprised tone, before immediately straightening your back to stand upright to take a proper look at the boy in front of you, only for the sudden thought of your eyes tricking you to be false as the person you called out was truly right in front of you.

“L/N?” Fushiguro questioned, causing everyone to look at the both of you in confusion due to what seemed to be a sudden reunion happening right in front of their eyes. “How are you? It’s been a while ha?” you quickly asked with a smile, trying to deeply conceal the shock and worry that was slowly manifesting in your stomach.

‘Since when were you a Jujutsu Sorcerer Fushiguro? That just makes my job worst’

“Yeah, it’s nice to see you again,” Fushiguro mentioned with a smile, leading his other two classmates to look at the sight in extreme shock since they never really saw the sorcerer smile before. “Are you still getting into fights?” you then questioned, even though you sort of already knew the answer.

“Not really,” Fushiguro replied, leading you to nod at his answer since you knew it was a white lie but not a complete one but you couldn’t help but hear a few giggles from his classmates that were with him. At least he was being somewhat truthful to you even after this time apart. 

“I’m Itadori Yuji,” one the students behind Fushiguro mentioned as he introduced himself with his index finger pointing towards himself leading to the only female student to then follow by saying, “Kugisaki Nobara,”. Giving them a smile, you then quickly introduced yourself to the two energetic students before turning around back to the principle. You couldn’t help but smile back at the elderly man as you faced him causing small but fond memories to reappear in your head again leading you to the desire of wanting everything to go back to normal again.

                                              ꕥ

“Y/N! You were amazing at the practice match today, we would have never won if you didn’t set the ball like that!”

“What do you mean? All of us won because we worked together and that-oh!”

Suddenly, you felt a small impact on your shoulder, causing the interruption of your speech leading you to turn around to apologies before you were stopped by a pair of emerald eyes. You couldn’t lie to yourself at all, they were the most beautiful eyes you had ever seen and you could stare into them all day if you could. “Sorry,” you quickly apologised before you were caught gawking at the guy in front of you leading him to apologies back before he continued to make his way wherever he was planning to head off to.

“Who was that?” you quietly asked yourself, trying to hide the fact that you were intrigued by the person you suddenly bumped into.

“That’s Fushiguro Megumi, I wouldn’t associate with him if I was you Y/N,” one of your teammates as well as classmates suggested, causing you to look at the girl in confusion as you wondered what was so bad about him - to be honest, it was odd for you to not know the person since you were also part of the school’s student council.

“He’s a delinquent, he beats up people you know, remember when the principal was screaming yesterday? That was because of him. Aw, I feel bad for his sister,” your other classmate muttered, causing you to look back forward at the person’s back who you learnt was named Fushiguro Megumi.

“He doesn’t seem like a bad person”

                                               ꕥ

“So this is what you’re up to?”

Looking up from his hand, Fushiguro came eye to eye with a female standing at the bottom of the pile of bodies. From what he could see, the person was from the same school as him due to the uniform that she was wearing but what made him paid attention to her was that even though she was wearing the classic red armband to represent who she was, she wasn’t yelling at him nor putting him in his place, rather just smiling kindly up at him.

“L/N Y/N, it’s nice to meet Fushiguro”

Now he remembers who you were. You were the student he bumped into the other day, but you were also known for being the setter of the school’s volleyball club, and you were also the person that had an early acceptance at the prestigious Dawn West Wing College. You were someone that had a promising future.

“Do you wanna come down? You have a nasty cut on your cheek,” you shouted, leading him to break out of his daze to once again find you smiling at him. However, what he didn’t expect was for you to then suddenly climb up the tower of bodies to reach up to him causing him to look at you in surprise at your persistence. Finally reaching up to the top, you tried to steadily find a place to sit only for Fushiguro to unexpectantly tightly grab your wrist, trying to ensure that you didn’t fall down.

“Thank you,” you said to the dark-haired student before you continued with, “let’s get down, I sort of need to get you fixed up,”. Once again surprised at your actions towards him, he suddenly felt you pull him down behind the pile of beaten up bodies, before unexpectedly being suddenly pulled up to make a full-on run for it.

“Why are we running?” Fushiguro asked as you continued to pull him to wherever you were taking him. “I don’t know if you had a bad eye, but the Principle was coming so we sort of need to make a run for it,” you explained, before rapidly turning a corner to what seemed to be a building that was connected to the main building.

“This is the sports hall, where the volleyball club practices and there is also a first aid kit there, so you can come in,” you informed Fushiguro before sliding the door open to reveal the nicely kept hall as you then disappeared into the building to find the first aid kit that you had mentioned. Following your movement, Fushiguro slowly took a step into the hall before taking a seat on the floor near it, patiently waiting for you to come back with what you needed to do.

After a few minutes, you finally emerge from the storage room with the first aid box in hand before quickly making your way towards the boy as you then kneeled down in front him while opening the box to pull out a plaster, some bandages, cotton buds as well as a bottle of alcohol to disinfect the wound on his cheek as well as a few cuts that you found on his knuckles.

“What are you going to gain for helping me?” Fushiguro asked you all of a sudden, causing you to look up at him before quickly going back to pouring some of the alcohol on the cotton bud to which then you grabbed his hand to place the substance on his bloody knuckles leading him to hiss at the sudden sting.

“I’m not going to gain anything from this, I just choose to help people unequally you see,” you answered in a quiet but serious tone. “There are both good and bad people in this world Fushiguro, but I choose to help people that I know that are going to do no wrong in the future, that is the type of people I choose to help. Someone like you,” you then explained, as you then began to treat the cut on his cheek after you had bandaged his knuckles.

“Thank you Y/N”

“No problem Megumi”

                                                 ꕥ

“You did really good out there”

Looking up, you found Fushiguro staring down at you with a bottle of water in hand as he stretched out to pass it to you. “Thank you,” you kindly said before taking the bottle from his hand, “I’m surprised you came, you usually don’t come to these sorts of things,” you then mentioned before taking a large gulp of water that you really needed right now.

“I just wanted to come to support you, and I thought you might need some help with those lot,” Fushiguro explained as he tilted his head to the side causing you to look up to find some boys staring down at you from the gym balcony, before looking back at Fushiguro who started to make himself comfortable next to you on the floor.

“Thank you,” you said once again before gently placing your head upon his shoulder to which you felt him tense up slightly, only for him to immediately relax a second later.

 “I’m really glad that I got to know you Megumi.”

Shifting his eyes down at you, all his saw was adoration and truth in your eyes as you looked onto the volleyball court where the other team were preparing to leave for their school after the organised match. Shifting his eyes back onto the court, Fushiguro couldn’t help but remember everything you did during the match, from the way you ran to the way you jumped to set the ball to your other players. Fushiguro couldn’t lie but admit you had talent. That was enough to put a soft smile on his face.

“Yeah, I’m really glad that I got to know you too Y/N”

                                                ꕥ

‘But that’s in the past now, concentrate on the investigation’

“L/N, you wanted to gain information for your project right?” the Principle asked, causing you to snap out of your daze to then quickly put a smile on.

“Yes, my school wants me to do a project about paranormal activity and how it relates to electric waves since that’s now some ghost investigation to prove that ghosts and spirits exist,” you explained as you tried to seem convincing as you could since that was the best explanation you could come up with.

“That’s a really weird project,” Kugisaki and Itadori commented, causing you to laugh slightly since it is something weird for a ‘normal’ school to set their students to work on. “Yeah, but I really can’t complain, I did pick the science courses for my subjects and it sort of relates to physics since we do have to learn about electricity and that stuff. Hella boring in my opinion,” you continued to express, trying to make the lie more convincing.

‘Well….that’s what I get for going to a ‘school’ full of mages, just like how you three go to a ‘school’ full of jujutsu sorcerers’

“What do you need to know dear? it’s the least I can do after all you did for the school as the student council as well as for the volleyball team,” the elderly principle asked, leading you to smile brightly at him as you began to list everything you needed to know.

“Strange rumours, dark rumours, anybody with relationships with bad adults or maybe even karma getting what they had coming?” you began to say, causing the principle to look at you in complete shock to which you then looked at him in confusion, “is there anything wrong sir?”

“Fushiguro said the exact same thing as you, no wonder why you two were best friends back then,” the principle mentioned with a soft laughing leading you to turn to look at the sorcerer, only to come to the view of him looking to the side with a light blush with his two friends looking at you with the same expression that the principle did a few seconds ago.

“There were students that were back like the ones that suddenly past away but they weren’t as bad as Fushiguro,” the principle stated, causing you to scoff slightly at the fact since he wasn’t wrong before the principle then suggested, “you should investigate Yasohachi Bridge, it is well known for this paranormal activities there dear,”.

‘The whole bungee jump mettle test or whatever it was ha?’

“Ah, those people are so stupid,” you muttered to yourself, knowing the reason why the Principle told you about the bridge and due to the fact that the sorcerers were here, they were probably told the same thing as well.

‘This is you sorcerer's fault for letting a special grade object let into the hands of some teenager, now Sukuna’s finger bearers are everywhere’

“Thank you so much for your time principal, It was nice to see you again,” you said with gratitude as you bowed down to your old teacher as you told him ‘goodbye’ before you began to turn around to immediately go to the bridge that was informed to you.

“Please come visit again soon!” the principal exclaimed, leading you to look over your shoulder with a smile on your face as you waved at him before turning to the Jujutsu Tech’s students to give them the same gesture to which then you started to walk away to head off to your next destination.

‘So I got more information than I needed but that’s okay, that means we got more inside information on Jujutsu Tech’

However, before you could even take one more step away from the institutional building, you felt someone suddenly grab your wrist leading you to turn around to look at the hand that held your wrist before quickly looking up to find the green eyes that were so dear to you.

“Is there anything you need Fushiguro?” you asked, as you gave him a smile leading to the noticeable light blush to appear on his face before he then questioned you by asking, “are you planning to go to Yasohachi Bridge?”

“Yeah, I just need to get some results for the project, I won’t be there too long if you are worried,” you answered, trying to end the conversation so you could go investigate the bridge so you could end the mission as quickly as possible. 

“It’s dangerous, you shouldn’t go,” Fushiguro stated, causing you to internally groan in annoyance since you already knew the dangers the second you got the file. “Like I said I won’t be that long,” you mentioned before quickly adding, “ghost ain’t real, I’ll be fine”.

‘I choose the help people unequally, and I’m choosing to help you Fushiguro’

[kuroo-shitsurou]

Stay (Tsukishima Kei x Fem!Reader)

note: saw this fic on my old wattpad and decided to post it here. my apologies if any of the details don't match the canonical events that happened in the main story. i think i wrote this a couple of years ago before i read the manga. just wanted to show some love for my favorite salty boi. also, a little ooc because my younger self just wanted a normal high school romance with this mfer okay

word count: 1.2k

Karasuno High.

A well known school located in the Miyagi prefecture. Most famous for the so called little giant, the Karasuno High School's boys' volleyball team has been at it's best ever since a new batch of students joined the team. They were led by Sawamura Daichi, a flexible receiver and a strong captain that everyone could look up to.

Before they went to nationals, one name began to stick out to the public. He started to gain more and more popularity after the shocking events he featured in during the final round of the inter high.

It was none other than Tsukishima Kei.

The tall, blonde, bespectacled boy amazed the Japanese audience with his ability to remain calm even in the dire situations their team has been through during the match against Shiratorizawa Academy. His exceptional reflexes and surprising willpower helped stop the spikes of the top ace of their prefecture, Ushijima Wakatoshi.

Tsukishima paid no mind to the rapidly growing fanbase he had. When people would ask him for autographs or pictures, he'd simply click his tongue and leave them, shoving his headphones over his ears to block out any complaints that came from the fan.

Although they fell a bit short during the nationals, you were still proud of how Tsukishima and the rest of the team worked their asses off to get where they are now. The days of hard, tiring training in the hot and stuffy gym paid off, even if they didn't make their initial goal.

Other than that, many scouts had already offered Tsukishima scholarships to colleges even when he was still a first year. Many people saw his potential, but he turned them down easily. After all, it was still his first year. Why the rush?

You rubbed your eyes and tilted your head to the side. School was still a few hours away, so you had to wake yourself up before you would get reprimanded for sleeping in class.

"Oi, chibi," A lanky blonde approached you and handed you a small can of coffee. "Drink this."

Tsukishima, now well-over 6 feet, towered over you. The third and second years have retired, and surprisingly, Tsukishima was vice captain. He said he didn't care about volleyball, but his actions said otherwise. Now being a third year, he was a lot less sardonic with everyone around him, but he was still incredibly salty (You and Hinata agreed).

"I'm 5'6. I'm not short, Kei, you're just incredibly tall." You took the can of coffee from his hand and nodded towards him as a sign of thanks before taking a big gulp of the beverage.

"Really, really?" He teased, "If you're not short then how come I still need to bend down to be at face level with you?"

"Kei, you're 6'5. That is incredibly tall." You reasoned.

"Aw, _____ is making excuses." He bent down to reach you, "I wonder if-"

To shut him up, you grabbed his collar and smashed your lips against his. His eyes widened, and his face immediately turned red. Once you pulled away, you smirked at his incredibly out of character expression. To add to his embarrassment, you took his black rimmed glasses and put them on. You knew he found you absolutely adorable when you wore glasses, specifically- his glasses.

"How cute." You chuckled gingerly.

"Sh-Shut up." He took a seat beside you, not bothering to take his glasses back, though he couldn't see very clearly.

A comfortable silence wrapped the both of you as a light gush of wind blew past the bench. Your hair was pushed back, and he could smell the faint scent of strawberries coming from you. Ah, he loved your scent. Truth be told, he loved every single part of you, physical and abstract.

"Why are you here so early anyway?" You asked, finishing the coffee.

"I knew you'd be here, obviously." He replied bluntly, scooting closer to you and leaning down to rest his head on your lap. Thankfully, the area was cleared of students other than you two, so this display of affection wouldn't be humiliating for the blonde.

"What about Yamaguchi?" You ran your relatively small fingers through his well-kept hair, feeling the softness of his tresses caress your fingertips.

"He'd come here soon, but I wanted to spend some time with you. Give me my glasses so I can see you better." He grabbed his glasses and put them on his face. He could finally see you properly, though he has memorized every feature there was on your face, so he didn't really need his glasses for that.

Another silent moment passed by. The peacefulness relaxed you, and you felt drowsier.

"About the scholarship," Tsukishima started, and you felt your blood run cold. "I was thinking about accepting it."

"The one to what school? You received so many scholarships I can't remember which one." You giggled, but deep inside, you were crumbling.

"Sendai University, actually. I also want to keep playing professionally even after I graduate."

For a split second, your hand stopped playing with his hair, but you covered it up with a playful laugh.

"Gosh, Kei. You've really gotten far." Your voice cracked, and you could feel your heart breaking in two. You didn't tell him about your plans yet, so it'd be hard to tell him, since graduation was coming soon.

Tsukishima noticed this.

"What's wrong?" He sat up, looking you straight in the eye.

"What? Nothing, Kei."

"_____, we've been together for three years, I can tell that you're hiding something from me."

Tears finally welled up in your eyes, and you didn't bother to wipe them away, since you knew you couldn't get out of this situation that easily. He wouldn't let you.

"Why are you crying?" He wrapped his long arms around you and pulled you on his lap. You could feel his warmth, hear his heartbeat, and smell the vague scent of strawberry shortcake.

"Kei, I'm-," You tried to calm yourself down, "I'm studying college in America."

Tsukishima swore his world collapsed under the despicable wrath of reality. The hammer of truth smashed his dreams of graduating college together with you into millions of tiny splinters. His heart shattered as he stared at your shaking form.

"_____, why didn't you tell me?" Instead of being mad like you expected him to be, he embraced you tighter, and his own salty tears made their way down his cheeks.

"I didn't want you to worry or-" He cut you off with a simple,

"Idiot!"

You piped down.

"Why would you honestly think that I would be worried about you leaving? I'm scared, of course, but I'd never be worried. I know that we can still be together even when we aren't physically near each other. I love you too damn much to let you go. Fuck you, _____ for making me say all this cheesy crappy stuff, okay?" He couldn't believe that he, Tsukishima Kei, was saying all of this.

"Kei," You whispered, hugging him tightly. "I'm sorry! I love you too, stupid megane."

"Who are you calling-?!"

"Shut up." You silenced him with another kiss, and he melted into it easily.

"Y'know, there's a thing called long distance relationship, right?"

"Yeah, but I can't really stand the idea of not seeing your tsundere ass all day."

"Fuck off."

"I love you too, Kei."

[airashisakura]

For @ssskmonth Prompt used: Favorite food

Present

A/N: Major spoilers warnings for those who don’t follow Boruto Manga. After chapter 55 events.

Part 1

Part 2

FFN | AO3

Sarada scrunched her nose in irritation. The rice porridge she had been trying to cook didn’t taste right. Frustrated, she dropped the ladle on the granite slab. A few minutes before she had tasted it, and it lacked salt. She was so sure that she had sprinkled in the right amount, and now she couldn’t understand how that could ruin the taste.

I never have trouble with this recipe! She cried in frustration. And why is it happening TODAY of all days?

It was a simple recipe that she knew how to cook. Perhaps it was things around her that distracted her.

She twisted the knob of the burner with much more force than required, turning off the stove. She dropped the lid over the pot forcefully and cringed at the sharp metallic sound.

The start of the day had been good for her. Like every year, this birthday also started with the sight of her mother grinning widely. It was a bit too early, however.

Her mother had given her a squishing hug as she wished her birthday, and like every year, she giggled and returned her mother’s embrace. Everything around her could change, but maybe this routine never would.

Perhaps it could. She was no longer a child who hid behind her mother when she was afraid to face something. She had been on her fair share of missions and was beginning to grasp the essence of shinobi life. She was a kunoichi now, and she had confronted the death of her comrades. She had accepted this ugly truth, but watching her father recuperate had made things worse for her. Sitting beside her unconscious father in the hospital had almost given her a taste of what it felt like to lose someone close.

Trying not to concentrate on her thoughts, she padded towards the refrigerator. She tried to occupy her mind with how to fix the porridge. One thing she could do to balance the salt was to add more rice to porridge. She sighed in relief when she spotted a bowl of rice in one of the cabinets.

She turned on the stove again, adding the rice and water to adjust its consistency and let it boil.

She tapped her fingers on the granite slab, eyeing the bubbling water. With nothing to do at the moment, her mind wandered off to her teammate.

She reached for other ingredients and measured in each carefully. While she was stirring the porridge, she realised that with her team on suspension from missions, she hadn’t seen Boruto lately. Boruto seemed to be doing fine, but she had realised she was wrong when Shikadai pointed out that of all people, Boruto was the one who’d been affected most by the incident.

Maybe I’ll call him up, Sarada thought while she cracked eggs into a bowl.

However, she felt like he had been ignoring her, and decided not to call him while she gathered the chopsticks and started beating the eggs.

She had mixed feelings regarding Boruto. Although she understood it wasn’t Boruto’s fault at all, every time she saw her father’s injuries, she couldn’t control the anger that surfaced. She tried to shake off the feeling as she poured the beaten eggs into the porridge. She didn’t want to blame Boruto for what had happened.

After closing the lid on the pot again, she buried her face into her palms, leaning against the counter. She really hated this cycle — understanding Boruto’s helplessness and then ending up holding a grudge against him. No matter how hard she didn’t want to think about it, the thought of what havoc he might cause when he lost control of his body again dreaded her. She knew Boruto was now a potential threat. What if she had to do something in future herself?

She was too confused to think straight. With a sigh, she removed the lid to see if it was done. Satisfied with the consistency, she sprinkled in some spring onion and reached for a bowl to pour some for her father.

Sarada knocked lightly on the door, announcing her presence to her father. Although it had been routine for a few days, she waited till her father responded. A small smile adorned her face when she heard him ask her to come in.

She realized she rarely had any time with Sasuke like this. They usually trained together or ate dinner when he came back from his mission. She never had felt his day-to-day presence as such.

She pushed the door open. She tried to suppress her excitement, but she didn’t have to work hard when she saw her father reading a scroll.

“Didn’t mama tell you not to strain your eye?” Sarada asked him, pretending to be offended.

She kept the tray on the bed-side table and heard the scroll falling on the bed with a light thud.

Sarada fidgeted on her foot sheepishly, waiting for her father to wish her a happy birthday. She looked around the room, trying not to be obvious. The silence stretched, and it became a bit uncomfortable, so she asked him.

“How are you feeling today?”

"Better," Sasuke nodded, his voice as reserved as always.

Sarada adjusted her glasses, and scrutinized her father's face. He didn't look any better than he had the previous days. Although her mother assured her there was nothing to worry about, she sensed that her father wasn’t doing well.

She wasn't quite sure if her father was sad or if he really was better. Sometimes she was really amazed by how her mother managed to read behind her father’s stoic mask.

His long absence from her life made her sad because she knew Uchiha Sasuke only in two ways — one when he was happy and proud of her, and the other when he was indifferent and unattached with his surroundings. She didn’t know much about her father, and maybe her father didn’t know much about her.

"What are you thinking about?" he asked, patting his hand on the side beside him and gesturing for her to sit.

Sarada plopped on the bed beside him; and replied, “Boruto.”

He listened with a rapt attention as Sarada recounted her concerns and could only wonder when his little Sarada, who hardly could make coherent sentences when he had left for his mission, had grown up. He had missed so many years and so many things, he realized.

Sarada frowned when she asked him, “Papa, do you think anything is going to happen to Boruto?”

Sasuke knew what she was talking about, but didn’t interrupt her.

“Since he is a potential danger now,” she explained.

Sasuke sighed, closing his eyes, partly in relief and partly agitated. “Don’t worry about that. This isn’t the old Konoha. The present council doesn’t take any harsh measures.”

Sarada gave him a perplexed look, and Sasuke realised what he had said. However, he didn't falter, and waited for her next question.

“What about old Konoha?”

“A lot,” he paused and thought about whether to complete his sentence.

“About the old system.”

About that unforgivable system that ran on blood and filthy tricks.

“About the old councilors.”

About those insensitive bureaucrats who didn’t think twice before ordering a thirteen-year-old to butcher his own clan and family.

“And about our clan.”

About the family I once had.

Sarada was thrown off by his sudden straightforwardness. He had always measured the amount of information he fed her and had always dismissed her when she pried much about the clan and the doujutsu. She couldn’t help but feel a little awkward, and she didn’t know how to react until she noticed.

“The food,” she squeaked. Sarada touched the bowl and wailed, “Oh no! It turned cold.”

It reminded him of Sakura, and he smirked before he said, “Ah, but I can eat.”

“You sure? I can go and reheat if you say so,” Sarada said as she set a low table on the bed and placed the bowl there.

Sasuke nodded, and murmured, “Itadakimasu.”

He took a spoonful of porridge, and asked her, “Did you cook this?”

Sarada nodded eagerly. “Mama had to leave early for the hospital today, but it isn’t like mama’s, though,” she pouted. “I messed up while adding salt.”

“No, it’s fine,” Sasuke lied. The porridge was too watery with a lot of rice, and it tasted disbalanced.

He wondered again when his daughter had grown up so much. Although he knew they were shinobi and they were supposed to, he couldn’t shake off the image of the tiny girl born to them years ago, and the shiny big black orbs that had stared at him when he had held her in his arm for the first time.

Sasuke took a few more bites of food and decided to break the silence, “What do you want for your birthday?”

“Eh?” Sarada blushed, although she tried hard not to overreact.

So Papa remembered.

She grinned harder and nodded her head, saying, “Nothing. You being at home is more than enough for me.”

But when the words slipped, she realised perhaps her reply wasn’t apt. Some unfortunate events making him stay home wasn’t what she wanted.

“I didn’t mean that way,” she reprimanded herself. “This is the first time you’re home on my birthday and...”

She didn’t know how to explain further, looking at the ground.

As far as she could remember in her childhood, Sasuke had never been home for her birthdays except a few years during which she didn’t have a clear memory.

Sasuke again took a spoonful of porridge and said, “Aah,” and smiled lightly and added, “maybe training?”

“You know mama won’t be a bit happy about this?” Sarada deadpanned.

Sasuke scoffed and after a second, both were laughing.

It was the first time she had seen her father so unguarded. She had made many memories, spent precious time with her father, and learned a lot, but this Sasuke was an entirely new one to her. For that moment, she stopped blaming all the wrong things that had happened to her, to her father, and to her family and cherished the moment. Seeing him so casual, she decided to say something she had been thinking about.

“I’m sorry. I had always resented you because you couldn’t live with us. I wondered why you had to go on a mission for so long.”

Sasuke was a little taken aback at the moment. Years of sacrifice had created a large mass of guilt inside him. However, Sakura always supported him, but he knew he owed an apology from Sarada for his absence. He wasn’t sure how. Words weren't his way, and he was too overwhelmed to say anything after what her daughter said.

Sarada smiled widely, and added, “Thank you for protecting us, Papa”.

“Aah.”

(Since chapter 55 was released in March, I assumed it to be around Sarada's birthday)

Part 3

[jiyuus]

I’m Here

I was reading some hc about the smaller things that would happen with them as your boyfriend (that the literal title) and whenever I read something about Tenya I always remember how much I love him.

So I got inspired and wanted to write some fluff about him~ 

This takes place in your first year of college, Iida’s first official year as a hero, and nothing that has happened in the manga has happened in this cause it’s too sad for me to process right now~

[Iida Tenya]

----------------

As the sun started to set over the city, most were getting off work and going home to their families. But not the heroes. And for Iida, it was his first time. Normally he would work during the days, from around 8 am to 5 pm almost everyday. Today was different though.

He was currently on a stake out, not knowing how it would turn out once the action started. Especially because he now had you in his life. And he didn’t want to break the one promise he made to you. Sure, he literally tried to kill someone during his intern days, not that anyone besides Midoriya and Todoroki knew. But this time, he wanted to do things right- but he was scared. 

“Tenya, you don’t have to do this-”

“Please, let me.” Tenya interrupted, placing his hands on your shoulders. You looked into his cobalt blue eyes, he was more serious than he normally was.

Sighing, he pinched the bridge of his noise while going to sit on your bed, “everything I do is to become a better hero than what I am now.” He looked at you, “But with you in my life, I want to be even better than that.”

“Tenya, you don’t-”

“I was not finished, Y/N.” He sighed again, “I want to promise you that no matter what, I will come back to you.” You smiled at him, walking over to sit down next to him and placing your hand on his thigh.

“I know that no matter what, promise or not, you would come back to me.” Tenya smiled at you before pulling you into a tight hug.

You weren’t a hero student, or a support student, or a business student. You were a gen. ed. student, only really wanting to go to U.A for the academics. How you and the class president of, at the time, class 1-A president- it was purely an accident.

A happy accident.

You were dropping something off in the teachers office and had, quite literally, run into him. You couldn’t remember who was at fault or what truly happened during that, but it somehow lead to a happy relationship. But even with a set date night once a week, or calls and messages with him everyday- you couldn’t help but worry.

He was a hero, someone who risked his life fighting evil to protect others. It was dangerous.

You were currently in your room, trying to focus on whatever homework your teachers assigned. But all you could do was mess around with the ring that Tenya had gotten you a year ago that was hung on a chain.

Sitting in his dorm after an intense training session, you and Tenya were studying a bit before you had to go back to your own dorm. You were sitting on his bed with your books spread around you. Suddenly Tenya got up and walked to his nightstand.

“Close your eyes, darling.” He said while holding something behind his back. It wasn’t a demand, nor was it a suggestion, but you did it anyway. Knowing that Tenya wasn’t one to argue with unless you wanted a lecture. Sighing, you closed your eyes only to feel something cold against your neck a few seconds later.

“Are going to kill me, Tenya?” You teased, opening your eyes only to look at his. It was his turn to sigh as he shook his head. You laughed before looking down at what he had place around your neck, only for you gasp.

“Tenya...”

“Darling,” he kneeled in front of you, taking your hand. “I know it’s too early for us to get married, but I wanted to show you that I truly care for you. And that I love you dearly.”

That memory replayed in your mind as you tried to concentrate, but it only made you worry more. You knew that you would get to talk to him more tomorrow and that he would be back to eat lunch with you. but for some reason you couldn’t wait. But before you had the chance to dramatically dash out of your apartment to his, you had a friend call you out of your room.

“You better have a good reason for- Tenya?” You were about to go off on your roommate/friend, but when you saw your boyfriend standing in the doorway, you stopped.

“Tenya, what are you doing here? I thought you had hero work? And isn’t it pass the time- you’re injured.” You noticed right way, despite his attempt at trying to cover it and act like he was his normal self- but you knew him like the back of your hand.

“Darling, I can assure you I’m-” you stepped forward and poked his side, cutting off his sentence and instead earning a hiss from the human car. You grabbed his hand and led him inside, forcing him into the bathroom.

“You can’t show up all bloody and bruised and say that you’re fine.” You pout, clearing some space on your small bathroom counter for him to sit on before digging through cabinets trying to find a first aid kit.

“Sit.” 

“Darling-”

“Tenya.” Without another word, Iida sat on the small counter, his body barely on the counter as you opened the box and started to remove his clothes. Even after all two years of dating, he was still shy about you seeing his bare body. Giggling you start to dab away the blood.

“Why are you blushing? You’ve done a heroes calendar and it’s nothing I haven’t seen from you before.” He didn’t say anything and only looked away, his cheeks still a blaze from your remarks. After a few minutes of silent work, you were able to patch him up as best you could.

“So what happened?” Iida didn’t say anything as you finished cleaning up, putting away what needed to be put back in the box and throwing away things that were only one use items. When you were done and you turned to face him, he brought you into a hug.

You were quick to bring your arms around him as well, taking a moment to let him relax a bit.

“That bad huh?” Iida nodded, only breathing in your scent as you waited for him to speak. You both stayed like that, until your roommate yelled at you both to get out of the bathroom. 

All he needed to know was that you were here, and everything was going to be okay. And as you both laid together, he looked at the ring around your neck. Fiddling with it, he smiled to himself knowing that you were here- he was here and that everything was okay.

[gogiberries]

Hi so I’ve had this in my head for a few days now

It’s basically how i see the Nanami x Gojo relationship (but it’s more sad than anything else tbh)

⚠️ spoilers ahead for those who haven’t read the manga!

Please enjoy this disgustingly long thread <3

- okay so the way they started was out of convenience/ desperation

- Geto left the school and abandoned Gojo

- Nanami lost Haibara

- So the two ended up just trying to find some sense of comfort and understanding in each other

- Gojo was the one to start it though

- I see Nanami as the type to just suffer silently with his pain and loss, so Gojo had to have made the first move

- They were still students and now they had to pair up for training more often

- Gojo did consider Shoko before Nanami, but he knew that she wouldn’t give him any chance because she saw the start and finish of him and Geto

- Gojo also didn’t want to go to some stranger because he couldn’t lay it all out to someone who didn’t understand sorcery and explain the heavy chip Geto left on his shoulder

- So Nanami, the guy who also just lost someone & who is up to date with the Geto stuff is a perfect candidate for Gojo

- Gojo starts teasu Nanami about how he needs to get stronger during sparring

(this just pushes the “have get stronger for Haibara/ not end up like him” notion in Nanami’s head)

- And one day Gojo just switches to heavy flirting

- Nanami is like ‘???’ but he chalks it up to Gojo just being his weird self

- But the flirting continues

- And Gojo being Gojo, he just keeps getting more direct until one day he just flat out asks if Kento has thought about fucking him

- Despite the constant flirting and suggestive stuff Gojo has been doing, Nanami is completely thrown off

- “What the fuck are you saying” is probably what he’d say, a slight blush forming on his face

- “Cmon dont lie, you’re saying it hasn’t crossed your mind once or twice when we spar?” Gojo would tease

- And Nanami would immediately deny it

- And Gojo would push it even further and say

“oh? That’s too bad, cause I sure have thought about fucking you“

- Now Nanami is blushing hard, face feeling too hot

- “Quit saying nonsense and stop lying” Nanami is too strong willed to give into/ believe in Gojo’s offer

- “I’m not~ do you want me to prove I’m not?” Gojo is also too strong headed and now refuses to back down from this thing he started

- Nanami says no, but they can both hear the hesitation in his voice

- Gojo takes this sliver of a chance to kiss the blonde

- Nanami goes to pull him off, but he doesn’t.

- Why? He’s not sure either, maybe it’s because he’s still a bit inexperienced with all of this, or maybe because he’s willing to accept this- whatever this is that Gojo is offering to help distract him from the pain he’s still trying to cope with from losing Haibara

- So he only backs up slightly to tell Gojo they should go somewhere more private

After that, their relationship, if you want to call it that for lack of a better term, begins

- Gojo definitely is the one who takes the most in this relationship

- At first, when he was trying to keep Nanami from regretting his actions and running away, Gojo was gentle and kind. Making sure Nanami felt understood and comfortable with their actions

- But once Gojo saw Nanami was staying, his caring attitude slowly faded

- He would stay to cuddle afterwards, but only until Nanami was asleep, leaving him to wake up by himself in the morning

[ maybe once in a while Gojo would leave a “Sorry I got called in for some mission” half assed excuse ]

- Not by force, but Gojo would make sure he’d get his needs met before Nanami did (definitely half assed in trying to meet Kento’s needs)

- Nanami isn’t stupid, he noticed the change in Gojo’s behavior early on, but being the masochist that he is, he put up with it because it still felt better than remembering Haibara and dealing with that

- Kento definitely noticed when Gojo was at his worst though. When Gojo was okay, he’d put up his usual goofy & cool dude front, and be selfish in bed, leaving the second they were done as if he was too “cool” and “strong” to show sad emotions.

- But when Gojo was really down and haunted with memories of Geto, he would stay the whole night.

- Gojo would be more gentle and slow with his actions, he wasn’t going out of his way to fully please Kento, but it was more like a sympathetic “c’mere let me do it for you” offer

- on those nights, after they were done, Gojo would lay there and hold-genuinely hold- Nanami.

- Nanami could see the accumulated exhaustion and pain in Gojo’s eyes on those days, and like Gojo, he wouldn’t go out of his way to help him. He might offer to be the bigger spoon or not question it when he stayed till morning, but Kento never would ask Gojo if he wanted to talk about it.

- Nanami would also allow himself to be selfish and enjoy the softer and more affectionate actions Gojo would do during these days

The sense of comfort and understanding they felt with one another was odd and definitely unhealthy, but it was better than being left alone with their own thoughts.

And it continued until Gojo was finally graduating and Nanami decided to share the news that he was going to start interning at some office

Gojo was taken back a bit by the announcement. Kento seemed like he would’ve just done the expected thing of graduating and going straight into sorcery work.

- “You really don’t like this sorcery stuff huh?” He’d probably ask him

- “It's all a bunch of shit” definitely a Nanami response

- Gojo was pretty indifferent in Kento’s post graduation plans, so he only gave him and understanding nod

During Nanami’s final year at the tech school, the two drifted apart without much trouble

- Maybe once in a while, when they were both overworked and stressed by their new schedules, they’d come back for one night to each another.

- It wasn’t much different than what they already had though

- Gojo would still only care about getting his first, and Nanami would use the time to space off and just distract himself from his reality

After Nanami graduated and started his salaryman career, their meetups stopped for a good while.

- Besides the fact that the two were now working even crazier schedules, Nanami was the one who wanted to full on quit.

- He was done with jujutsu tech & sorcery, and as he’s done with everything else in his life, he ran away from it

- He’d ignore Gojo’s out of the blue texts, or just give short and dry responses

- Gojo wasn’t really hurt about it, there weren’t any deep emotions formed below the surface of what he and Kento had.

- Though Gojo was very close to calling Nanami the day he dealt with Geto

But just how they were a few years ago as students, the two adults ended up back where they started, in an emotional void induced by stress and the years long accumulation of unattended issues that neither one of them knew how to handle.

- Nanami tried to quit, he really did. But going to company speed dating parties and or blind dates set up by coworkers was too much trouble for him. He was working way over 40hrs a week and had no time to develop a healthy relationship with someone.

- After some big deal falling through with his job, Nanami did what most adults who have little to no healthy coping skills would do. Get drunk and call his fuck buddy

- Gojo thought it was a mistake when Nanami sent him a text with only an address

- Gojo, also having almost no healthy coping skills, immediately called Nanami back to see what the text was about

- And oh.

- Nanami did send it on purpose

- Well. Who was Gojo to say no to a free night of being distracted with no strings attached?

Aaaaaand they were back, dancing the same dance they have been for years.

- Somewhere within those meetups, Gojo finally shared what happened to Geto.

- Nanami didn’t say much, he only said enough to convince Gojo that tonight wasn’t going to go as they usually do.

- Instead Nanami allowed Gojo to drink and let out any and all emotions he had about the incident.

- Gojo was embarrassed the next day thinking about what all he probably said. But he was grateful Nanami chose to be the responsible one and be next to him as he aired out his feelings

- Nanami never brought up that night’s conversation details to Gojo. He just let that night be what it was and moved on (the best thing for the both of them, more so for Gojo tbh)

Now present time, they still do their usual meetups, but maybe it’s the years of life slowly sanding them down because now, it feels more like a weird check up with one another than just a quick hookup

- It started with them just getting drinks for the night, nothing happened, they both just got drunk and passed out in Gojo’s Living room

- Then it slowly progressed from getting a quick bite to eat, to having planned dinners together

- Sometimes it leads to something, sometimes it doesn’t.

- Is it healthier than what they were doing at the beginning? Not really.

- They still don’t share their feelings that openly nor do they go out of their ways to comfort each other.

- But I guess just the mutual understanding from someone who has also lived through some fucked up stuff quietly sharing a drink or meal with you is somewhat comforting and helps you stay grounded.

End.

[thecindy]

Three a.m.

Izuku and Gran Torino have a talk

Rating: General Audiences

Words: 1,322 

Ao3

This does contain manga spoilers for chapter 306, and it alludes to some of what happens in previous chapters.

__________________

Izuku hates three a.m.

Three a.m. meant he was either up too late or awoken too early. He spent most of his life avoiding three a.m. in a desperate attempt to maintain a decent sleep schedule. But at this moment, three a.m. was the ideal time for what he was about to do.

He had been in this hospital long enough to know the shift rotation by heart. He knew when the nurses and doctors did their rounds. He knew when housekeeping would mop the floors. He knew when the kind night shift nurse with golden hair and silver eyes would poke her head into his room to make sure he was sleeping. But most importantly, he knew when the nurses station on the way to the stairwell that exited into the parking garage would be vacant.

Tomorrow he was scheduled to be discharged and escorted back to UA to be with the rest of his class and his mother. His injuries now fully healed, he was expected to return to school and begin his second year as a hero student. But Izuku had decided weeks ago, the moment he woke up after his time with the predecessors, that he wouldn't be going back to UA. It wasn't safe. With the target on his back and with Shigaraki's - All For One's? - use of Ragdoll's search quirk, he would bring nothing but more fighting, more pain, and more death upon his friends, his classmates, his teachers... his family.

So tonight was the night. His last chance to save everyone he cared about from his own fate. He refused to let anyone else get hurt because of his cursed quirk. Truthfully, he had planned and had been ready to go several days ago, but the idea of a few more nights in a soft bed, and a few more hot meals had been far too tempting.

Izuku was alone tonight which made his plan a lot simpler. His mother had gone home to finish packing for the move to UA, and Izuku had insisted All Might - who had spent many a restless night in an uncomfortable hospital chair keeping watch over his successor - go sleep in his own bed with assurances that he would be alright on his own and that he would see him tomorrow. Izuku doesn't remember when he became so good at lying, the thought unsettled him a little bit. It hurt to deceive his mentor like this but he knew it was the only way.

Now or never.

Just after three a.m., like clockwork, he hears the door to his room slide open. He's careful to keep his eyes closed and his breathing even so as not to raise suspicion. Satisfied that he's alright and asleep the nurse slides the door closed again.

Izuku counts to 60 and as quietly as he can he slips out of bed. Under the flimsy hospital pajamas he's already wearing the clothes his mother brought for him to wear upon discharge - a soft t-shirt and pair of basketball shorts. Using a small percentage of One For All he rips off the hospital bracelet just in case it's the kind that could set off alarms, and knowing the security in this place that's pretty likely. After neatly folding his pajamas and leaving a thank you note to the hospital staff he slings his backpack over his shoulder and steps into the empty hall, normally bright lights dimmed for the night.

Left down the hall, one left and then a right and he'll reach the stairwell, which hopefully is kept unlocked from the inside, he hasn’t had a chance to check. He's memorized the floorplan on this level after his many circuits walking around it as part of his physical therapy.

He makes it past the empty nurses station and the left turn when he stops to check the patient name on a door. So Gran Torino hasn't been discharged yet. Izuku feels a lump form in his throat as the guilt washes over him. He knows it’s his fault so many people got hurt, one of them being All Might's teacher - his own teacher.

Noting that the lights are off in the room he slides the door open and quietly steps inside. He unbuckles his backpack and pulls out the letter on top addressed to the man who first helped him reign in the power of One For All. As silently as possible he pads over to the bedside table and gently places the letter next to a vase of wilted flowers.

He is across the room with his hand on the door handle when a voice cuts through the silence. "I ain't gonna read that shit. If you got somethin to say, say it to my face."

Izuku winces and turns to face the small man now sitting up in bed. "I'm sorry. I didn't realize you were awake. It's late."

"Yeah, well, when you get to be my age and you spend enough time in one of these germ factories you start to realize time is pretty meaningless."

"I see." Izuku swallows around the lump in his throat and grips the straps of his backpack tight. While any outward injury on Gran Torino's body seems to have been healed, he can't help but notice the dark circles below his usually masked eyes. And has he gotten even smaller?

"So what's in the envelope kid?" Gran Torino gestures toward the bedside table. "Ain't trying to poison me are ya? Get rid of me for good?"

"What! No!" Izuku cringes at the unintentional volume of his outburst. Then quieter, "it's just a letter. What normal people put in envelopes."

"When have we ever been normal people, eh?"

He allows himself a small laugh, "You got me there."

"Then why are you sneaking around a hospital in the middle of the night leaving letters for old men?" Gran Torino prodded.

Izuku is silent for a moment as he stares at his shoes. Setting his brow he raises his head to meet the older man's eyes. "I think you know why."

Gran Torino continues to meet his gaze before sighing deeply and dragging a large palm down his face. "This is the part where I'm supposed to talk you out of whatever half-baked, hair-brained, nonsense idea you got in that thick skull of yours."

"I have to go, Gran." Izuku could now feel tears threatening to spill down his cheeks. "I can't let anyone else get hurt because of me."

"I know you think you have to do this, and we both know I'm not exactly in a state where I can stop you, but there are other ways, kid. You don't have to do this alone."

Gran Torino's words hang heavy in the quiet hospital air. "I'm sorry," Izuku says after a beat. "I'm sorry but I do."

"If you decide to come to your senses you know where to find me." Gran Torino sighs again.

Tears are falling now. "Thank you, Gran Torino." the green haired boy manages to choke out. "Thank you for everything. Thank you for showing me how to make this quirk my own."

Wiping his eyes with the back of his hand, afraid Gran Torino really will find a way to talk him out of it, Izuku makes for the door again.

"Hey kid."

Izuku turns back just in time to catch the ball of cloth being tossed at him.

"Who are you?"

In his arms Izuku finds a familiar tattered yellow cowl. He clutches the garment to his chest and tries to convey every emotion he feels, every ounce of conviction he has in his voice, "I'm the hero who is going to save everyone."

__________________

With a final bow to his mentor, Izuku steps out into the empty hospital hallway. Unnoticed,

he finds his way to the - thankfully unlocked - stairwell and disappears into the night.

Notes:

This was very self-indulgent. I saw Izuku with Gran's cape and my brain filled in the rest for me.

Not beta'd, so if you see any mistakes or typos please gently let me know so I can fix them 😅

Also I never know how to tag fics, so also let me know tag suggestions or any tw/cw tags I should add.

Thanks for reading!

[abbacchiosbelt]

while digging through my writing folders i found a fic i did a long time ago for a pal featuring deadbeat dabi becoming a good dad. if you want some sickeningly sweet parenting, family bonding, and happy!todorokis, then please feel free to read this. written in early 2019, so it’s not updated to reflect any potential changes in the BNHA manga. with that said, here u go

[2019 Fic] | Bright Flame | Single Dad!Dabi & Daughter Reader

When his fling that had disappeared nine months ago showed up on his doorstep holding a baby with bright red hair and eyes that mirrored his own, Dabi felt sick. His first thought was to slam the door (and maybe scare his ex away with some flames, if she hadn’t been holding a baby) and abandon his house. She’d never find him if he left – he’d been running all his life.

But then the god damn baby had to look at him and make the smallest, cutest noise he had ever heard. Dabi didn’t do cute. Dabi didn’t do babies or children, or anyone at all, really. He didn’t make commitments and he had never, ever, planned anything in his life that wasn’t indefinite. He was young, still. He thought he’d be dead by 30, or maybe earlier. If he was honest with himself, he just didn’t care at all.

Again, the baby coos at him, this time squeezing her tiny fists together. She wasn’t scared of his appearance, which surprised him. Most kids cowered in fear when he shot a glance in their direction. This baby, though, was keenly interested. His baby?

Only seconds had passed but it felt like years to him. Why the hell did she even bother coming here with this… this thing that might not be his. (Fuck, he was in denial. The stupid baby looked just like him, down to the lax facial expression all he and his siblings wore.) Finally, his fling spoke up.

“I need your help.” She was blunt, as always. Maybe a little too blunt, because Dabi had been unable to stay away from her, unlike his other flings. One day she just disappeared and never bothered to contact him again, but he didn’t care. He never did. She’d see right through him if he tried to play this off as anything but what it really was, but he couldn’t admit to it.

“With what?” Lax, uninterested. The same persona he always wore as armor.

“Are you fucking kidding me? Have you seen our daughter’s eyes?”

Our daughter. He laughs, the anxiety rising in his chest telling him to run.

“I’m not the only one you were fucking.” He says, and her face turns dark.

“You were. You can’t hide from this, Dabi.” She pulls out his last name with a hiss. Bold enough that again, Dabi wouldn’t mind torching her had she not been holding a baby. Even he still had some morals. And who the fuck was she to be scolding him? She was the one that disappeared without a word. (The sinking feeling in his stomach told him exactly why, but he wouldn’t admit it.)

“Whatever.” He goes to shut the door, but she shoves her foot in the frame to stop him. The baby is closer than ever to him – she was dressed in a onesie that resembled a black cat, a stark contrast to her features. Looking this closely, he couldn’t deny the resemblance. The baby smiles at him.

“Listen. You don’t have to raise her, but you sure as hell better provide for her.” It’s not a question, and Dabi very well knows that his fling could just as easily kill him with her quirk. Before, it had been part of foreplay for them, the thrill of the pain. Now, it was just pissing him off.

“Why?”

She gives him another dark look. The baby, though, is still smiling at him while she waves her fists in the air.

“She’s your kid, asshole.”

Dabi’s sympathy for other people is non-existent. Sure, maybe he’d prevent himself from killing kids, but he didn’t really care about them. But he knew as well as anyone what having a bad childhood meant – what having an abusive and absent father meant. He’d always been the strong one for his siblings, acting out so he’d receive punishment instead of them. He wore it like a badge of honor, crumbling from his chest when he finally ran away. (He always pushed the guilt away.)  

He can’t deny the pull in his chest. He’s not sure what it is – familial connection? Fear? It’s a yearning feeling he can’t place, but it’s slowly chipping away at his resolve. The baby won’t stop smiling at him and he can’t look away, look into those same eyes that his father once saw and had no trouble hurting. He wasn’t made for something like this. But maybe, just maybe, keeping her away from him would be the best option. He’d give his fling money, make sure the kid was fed and clothed.

He wouldn’t become his father, at the very least.

He sighs, and finally meets the gaze of his ex. “Fine. But I’m not raising her.”

---

Dabi is annoyed, then, when his ex shows up again a few months later, holding… the baby. The word daughter still felt wrong on his tongue. She has a look on her face that tells him this is absolutely not where she wants to be, and he feels the familiar pit of anxiety he gets around the kid forming.

“You need to watch her. My babysitter flaked on me.” She thrusts forward the large bag she has in her hand to him, and he gives it a look like it’s going to kill him. The baby giggles.

“What?” He tries to hide the panic in his voice. She can’t be fucking serious. He doesn’t know what to do, and he sure as hell doesn’t like or know how to take care of kids, even if this one is annoyingly cute. His ex gives him a withering stare, his daughter now flapping her arms excitedly in his direction. He hadn’t held her yet, he hadn’t been too keen on it and his ex didn’t push it, but he would have to now. Fuck.

“Fine.” He scoffs, lifting his arms towards his daughter. His ex gives the baby a kiss and a goodbye before she gingerly passes her over. He holds her for the first time with a stunned expression, her blue eyes looking back into his with curiosity.

“So,” his ex starts, snapping him out of it. “There’s a list in the bag of her routine and everything you’ll need. My number is in there too.”

She looks at the baby longingly before meeting his eyes. “She’s an easy baby. Please, just give it a chance. And thanks.”

He feels a mild pain on his cheek and glances down to realize the baby is tugging at one of his staples, eyes wide with fascination. Great. His ex stifles a laugh, but he can see the smirk under her hand.

“I’ll be back around 10 P.M.” She leans forward and tousles their daughter’s hair. “Be good for your daddy, sweetheart.”

Dabi’s stomach constricts at the word daddy. He may have used that word other times, but he never thought it’d be in this particular situation. He grunts a goodbye to his ex and turns back to enter his apartment, diaper bag and daughter in tow. He drops the bag unceremoniously on the floor the second the door shuts and heads to the living room, plopping down on the couch with his daughter. Before he held her with one arm, but he experimented by cradling her with both. It felt… nice.

“So.” He says, immediately feeling stupid. How the hell were you supposed to talk to kids? Especially one that was yours? His daughter blinks in response and places her tiny hand on the scarred part of his cheek. Cute. “Daddy’s not scary to you, huh?”

The emotion he feels when his daughter smiles at his voice, his child, is hard for him to accept. He wants to push it away as a fluke – a temporary emotion just this once. But the longer she stares at him, the more she gently pats his face and doesn’t recoil, makes him feel a tug in his heart. Maybe he shouldn’t be involved, maybe he should try to stay away after this. No matter what, though, he was going to protect her.

A tug on two staples this time makes him wince, but he tries not to flinch. His daughter just giggles at him again. He sticks out a tongue at her and she giggles even harder, little eyes crinkling up in joy.

“Think I look funny?” He scrunches his face up and she laughs even harder. He tries not to feel disgusted when he sees the drool running down her chin from laughing. Well. He was funny, so he was proud he could make her laugh. It dawns on him that he has no idea what else to do. He couldn’t make funny faces for hours.

He supposes he should actually look in the diaper bag. He’s torn for a moment – does he put her on the couch? What if she rolls off? If he hands her back with a bump on her head, his ex might kill him on the spot. Was it okay to put babies on the floor? It’ll only be for a second… Nervously, he places her on the floor and waits for a reaction. She just opens her eyes wide and looks around from her new perspective.

Okay. Daddy Dabi, 1 – or so he thinks, until his daughter starts sniffling loudly the moment he’s out of sight. He scrambles to grab the bag and rushes back to the living room, letting out a breath when she stops crying when her eyes wander to him.

(He vaguely remembers Shoto acting similarly as an infant. He wasn’t around for long after he was born, but Shoto liked to have someone near him. He only cried when he was left alone. Fortunately, and not, for Shoto, he was Endeavor’s greatest creation so he wouldn’t have to experience the lonely infancy he and his siblings experienced.)

He places the bag on the couch and zips it open before gently picking her back up, fighting back a smile when she makes a happy cooing noise. While she busies herself with his staples again, he digs through the bag and finds the note. It’s simple enough, though he looks at the chilled lunchbox inside holding her baby bottles with disdain.

He turns his attention back to her when she gurgles and watches with renewed disgust as more drool runs down her chin. (He supposed she wasn’t that gross, compared to his coworkers. Shigaraki was a walking pile of blood and dust.)

“You’re making a mess, kid. Ya just got here.” He tries, feeling content when she smiles. Okay, maybe he didn’t have to do shitty baby talk. She seemed to like it when he talked at all, so he’d say whatever bullshit came to his mind, as per usual. Luckily, his ex had provided several washrags in the diaper bag. Cleaning her off proved to be a challenge as she tried to chomp on the washrag, much to Dabi’s amusement. Children were strange. If this wasn’t his child, he’d hate it.

He watches with interest when she yawns and closes her eyes – people weren’t this vulnerable around him often. Especially when they were this close to him. He stays as still as possible when he realizes she’s fallen asleep, head tucked into his shoulder.

The rest of the night passes with ease – she sleeps for two hours. Dabi was able to fish his phone out of his pocket while she slept, watching quiet videos to pass the time. (Maybe taking a picture. Maybe taking a few pictures.)

He’s also disappointed when he gets a text from his ex saying she’ll be off way earlier than expected. He doesn’t have the words to reply back that he’d be fine watching their daughter for longer and just sends a ‘k’ back in defeat. His daughter continues to sleep soundly until the soft knock at the door rouses her out of sleep, her tiny arms stretching in his.

“Your mom is here, kiddo.” She babbles in reply and reaches to grab his nose. She lets out a tiny noise of surprise when she touches the cold metal of his piercings, repeating the tugging action she had tried on his staples earlier.

“Don’t think you’re old enough for those yet,” Dabi says, rewarded with another tiny giggle. He reluctantly gets up to answer the door. His ex smiles at him (no, the baby) and he watches as his daughter lights up upon seeing her mom. He feels jealous, if only for a moment. He hands her to her mom and crosses his arms.

“How was she?” His ex replies, bouncing their daughter in her arms.

“Easy, like you said.”

“Aww, Daddy’s fun, huh?” He hopes she can’t see the tint on his cheeks, her words making his stomach twist. He didn’t know anything, really. He didn’t know how the future would turn out. For now, he only knew that he couldn’t pretend to not be a dad any longer.

“Thanks again, Dabi.” His ex gives him a small smile, easily slinging the diaper bag over her shoulder when he hands it over.

“Yup. I don’t mind.” He glances down at his feet. Why was he being so fucking weird about this? Just tell her, Dabi. “I would do it again, I guess.”

She raises an eyebrow at the ‘I guess’, but doesn’t call him out on it. His daughter is back to staring at him with her eyes open wide.

“Say bye to Daddy, honey.” She puts a hand under the baby’s arm and gently makes her wave. Dabi waves back and pauses before taking a step forward. He presses a chaste kiss to the top of her head, surprised by the light floral smell.

He had to do one more thing – he never knew when it would be his last day. He wasn’t ready for this, maybe, but he wanted to say it at least once. He cleared his throat before leaning down near his daughter’s ear.

“I love you.” It’s quiet, and she pulls his hair, but it was enough for now. His ex is smiling when he stands back up.

“I’ll contact you soon, okay? She’ll miss you.”

With that, she turns around, leaving Dabi to consider what the hell his life was about to become.

---

The next few years fly by with his daughter. He’s busy with League work, but he sets aside time to send with her. His ex willingly let Dabi watch her on Sundays, his daughter telling animated stories when Mom picked her up as she grew older.

She looked so similar to Dabi that it frightened him – reminded him of who he used to be. Still, he loved her and took caution to protect her from his past. He wanted to tell his siblings, but their reconciliation was strained enough. He also didn’t want Endeavor to find out. If his dad, no, that man, ever laid hands on his child he’d be dead in a moment.

A few months after his daughter turns five, his ex turns up on his doorstep looking downright awful. His daughter is next to her, a large suitcase sitting behind her. Shit.

His ex breaks down, telling Dabi that she can’t do it anymore, that he can’t take care of their daughter. He’s downright fuming that she’s saying this in front of their daughter, oblivious to how she feels. She says she’ll be back, but he doesn’t believe her. He ushers his daughter inside before his ex scars her even further and tells her to get the fuck out of his doorway.

Back inside, he and his daughter are silent. She stares at the floor and nervously shuffles her feet before looking up at him with sad eyes.

“Does Mommy hate me?” Her voice cracks and she lets out a sniffle.

Goddammit. He never wanted his child to feel like this.

He kneels next to her and takes both of her hands in his. “No, sweetie. She’s just… sick right now, and has to get better. Okay? Daddy will take care of you.”

She sniffles again before putting her arms out for a hug, starting to cry when Dabi wraps his arms around her. He holds her until she stops, promising that they can have a special treat once her room is set up.

He’s scared as hell. He couldn’t do this either, but unlike his ex, he wasn’t going to run away. Not again.

When she finally goes to sleep, Dabi makes a phone call that he’s about five years late on.

“Shoto, I need your help.”

---

Despite their fractured relationships, the Todoroki siblings become quickly enamored with his daughter, even if it meant dealing with Dabi. He can’t blame them, of course. He’s a piece of shit, but his daughter is cute as hell. Smart, too. He tries to hide their relation to her at first, claiming they were just good friends.

The lie is quickly revealed, though, when his daughter points out how similar they all look. His siblings give him a look like he was the biggest idiot in the world for even trying to hide it. His daughter loves all of them, but she clearly plays favorites with Uncle Sho. Dabi wonders why – Shoto is quiet, still not as outgoing as Fuyumi and Natsuo.

Uncle Sho, though, is his daughter’s idol, much to Dabi’s annoyance. He can’t be too angry though – Shoto’s status as a Pro Hero afforded his daughter the chance to attend a nice private school. It grated on him, though, that he couldn’t act as a father figure in public life. He was still a villain, and villains didn’t just walk around the daytime with their children.

His daughter didn’t mind, though. Despite her love for Uncle Sho, she was still a daddy’s girl and hung on to every word he said. It wasn’t a surprise when she picked up his colorful vocabulary, much to his amusement. Paired with Shoto’s sarcasm rubbing off on her and his blunt nature, she had become quite the little firecracker.

He was worried, then, when she became distant after her 10th birthday. He was a pretty lax dad, all things considered. He let her figure things out on her own while keeping a careful eye on her, and much preferred the fun part of parenting rather than discipline, which his siblings sometimes delved out.

He wondered if it was because she was quirkless, although his questions were met with a blank stare. Maybe this is just what 10-year-old girls acted like? (Especially ones raised by an unfiltered parent with a sarcastic aunt and uncles.)

---

The doll her Uncle Sho had bought her for her 10th birthday was so intricate that she didn’t even want to play with it. Her Dad might lovingly tease her about it (“What’s the point of a gift if you don’t use it?”), but she wanted to cherish it. She didn’t own many toys – she preferred playing outside, or doodling. She didn’t even like dolls most of the time, but the intricate black dress and the interesting face the doll had enamored her.

Maybe she could play with the hair, just a bit. Then she’d set it up on her bookshelf and nestle it next to her favorite books.

She gently pulled the doll into her lap and admired the dress. Maybe Uncle Sho would buy her a dress to match! The daydream of a pretty dress was interrupted by a strange feeling in her hands. They felt itchy, and there was an unusual heat building under her fingertips. She knew about quirks – it was impossible not to. Her dad and Uncle Sho had let her down gently that she was quirkless, though the look on their faces had alerted her that there was something they left out of the conversation.

She was jealous, though. Her dad had beautiful and vibrant blue flames, while her Uncle Sho had bright red flames and the ability to create sparkling ice. Over the years she would try to imitate them, throwing her hands out and hoping that something would come out. And yet, the only thing she ever found was disappointment.

The smell of something burning snapped her out of her daydream. In a panic, she looked down to find the beautiful doll alight with bright, light blue flames. Shit. She ruined her birthday present. Wait. Flames? She didn’t have time to figure out what exactly was happening as she realized those same flames were licking painfully up her skin. She threw the doll to the ground and stomped on it until the flames were extinguished, letting out a hiss at the stinging pain on her hands.

Worse, she heard the familiar thump of her dad’s boots coming down the hallway. There hadn’t been much smoke, but the smell of burning plastic and fabric was strong.

“You okay, kiddo? What the hell is that smell?”

“N-nothing, Dad!” She shoves the charred doll under her bed and scrambles to get under the covers to hide her red skin before her Dad comes into her room. The door opens with a creak and her dad poked his head in, raising an eyebrow at her.

“You havin’ a bonfire in your room?” He asks. She glances at him with a panicked expression, realizing some of the ashes from the doll are still on the floor.

“I-I didn’t mean to! I, um, just wanted to…” She trails off, trying to think of a good excuse. She thought back to the way her Dad almost looked relieved that she didn’t have his quirk. Was it bad? Well, maybe it wasn’t bad to keep her newfound ability a secret for now.

“I was playing with the matches.” She gives him her best puppy dog eyes, and he shakes his head before coming to sit on the side of her bed.

“Didn’t I tell you if you wanted to burn some shit to just ask your old man?” He gives her a lazy smile before playfully letting out a spark of his blue flame from his hand.

“Uncle Sho says you shouldn’t do that!”

“Uncle Sho wouldn’t know fun if it bit him in the ass.” She opens her mouth in shock before laughing at her Dad’s expression. From what she learned about her other classmate’s parents; her Dad was… unique. She loved him, though, more than anything. She felt a little guilty for keeping a secret from him.

“Gonna take a nap, princess?” He motions to her bundled up form, and she nods from beneath the comforter. (Strangely, she felt burning hot already.) She doesn’t really want to nap… but maybe a break from thinking would be nice. Her Dad leans and places a kiss on her forehead, making her nose wrinkle up when he blows a raspberry instead.

“Daddy!” His face lightens at the word – she noticed he always crinkles his eyes up when she calls him that.

“That’s what you get for not letting me burn stuff with you.” He ruffles her bright red hair – thick and unruly now – before standing up and re-tucking her into the sheets. “Your aunt and uncles want to take their cute little niece for another birthday dinner, so we’re gonna go out when you wake up.”

Her face lights up – another birthday dinner? More ice cream for her. The thought of her new quirk is buried away for the moment, falling away when she closes her eyes and drifts off into a nap, barely registering her Dad saying he loves her.

---

Dabi is more offended than he lets on the first time his daughter groans and says he’s embarrassing her. She’s 13 now and acting exactly as he did at that age – a moody brat. Unfortunately for him, her sarcasm had grown even sharper. She’s still his baby girl, though.

She had always been clingy – and with what his bitch of an ex had done, he couldn’t blame her. He didn’t know shit about kids, so becoming her best friend rather than a parent was his choice. Maybe he spoiled her too much, or maybe he was too casual with her. His annoying siblings constantly reminded him of that, but they didn’t have kids, and they always shut up when his daughter behaved despite her attitude.

He is annoyed when her socks keep mysteriously disappearing – and why the house always smells burnt. He hopes it’s not him, and begrudgingly started to clean more vigilantly. Despite her bratty nature, his daughter still helped around the house, at least acknowledging the fact she still respected him. He supposed it was about time for her to explore some independence. She’s a hell of a lot smarter than he was at that age.

He’s not surprised then, after the hell that was a 13-year old daughter, that a 14-year old daughter was an even bigger challenge. She doesn’t necessarily act out – but sometimes she treats him with a coldness that makes him hurt. At least she still told him he loved her, something he hadn’t said for a very long time until his daughter appeared on his doorstep.

When she walks in the door with a piercing in her nose, he just laughs. Of course, his daughter would do something like this. The look of surprise on her face amuses him when he just shrugs and says it looks nice. He does offer to take her to his preferred parlor next time. If she was going to rebel (just like he did), she should at least be safe.  

His siblings are annoyed at his reaction, but he knows that his daughter exactly like him in every way possible. He wouldn’t let her walk the path that he took, a path he took out of desperation and hatred, but he would let her make her own choices. He’d just always be there to catch her.

15 and 16 bring a mellowing out towards him but a renewed sense of rebellion against the world at large. He’s always having to patch up cuts and bruises she gets from fighting at school. She’s popular, according to Shoto, who kept a close eye on her there. But for some reason, she was determined to show proof of her strength. He thought it might have to do with the fact she was quirkless.

He also thought it might have to do with the fact that his daughter had sat him down (he was amused at first – she was more mature than him) and told him she knew what he did for a living. That was the first time he had been shocked as a parent, and mildly ashamed. He was fucked up, sure, but he wanted to keep it away from her. He almost set the couch on fire when she told him she had known since she was a little girl, but that she didn’t mind.

His daughter had spent the weekend at Aunt Fuyumi’s house while Dabi took out his aggression. (On the earth, rather than people, at least.)

They came to an understanding with a very uncomfortable discussion about his past. When she hugged him afterwards, not letting go for a long time, he felt like a weight had been lifted from his shoulders. Whatever the world may bring, he finally had something worth living for.

He had been moved beyond words (a new feeling for him) when she came home with jet black hair similar to his. She hadn’t said why, but the smile on her face when she asked him to take a picture together told him well enough. They looked more alike than ever.  

17, though, was a whole new ballgame.

---

“You wound me, brat.” Her Dad teases, feigning shock.

“That’s life, old man.” She quips back, lifting her chopsticks and flicking rice at him.

“You two are old enough to behave.” Her Uncle Shoto says with a roll of his eyes, winking at her behind his red hair. She was still his favorite and could practically get away with anything.

“Whatever you say, little brother.” Her Dad shoves a piece of sushi in his mouth and gives her Uncle Sho the same look he always does. Her uncle just scoffs and works on eating his plate.

The three of them always met up for dinner after school on Wednesdays. It wasn’t easy, with her Dad’s status, but her uncle had done an incredible amount of work securing safe places for them to visit. She wasn’t sure of the logistics, but she sure as hell was happy about it.

She frowns at her plate, chewing on the side of her lip, cold metal biting back into her. Her Dad had stopped her ideas of teenage rebellion by encouraging her, happily taking her to get new piercings. (Well, except for a few… unsavory ones she had obtained. But he didn’t have to know about those.) He was, in her eyes, the best Dad in the world. Even if he did act like an old man sometimes and gripe about her coming home too late.

Still, something was biting at her. Her secret remained safe within her, not even a whisper spoken to friends or family. She practiced with it – that’s why she was coming home so late – but she feared it. She knew the destruction her father was capable of. Uncle Sho was more practiced and deliberate, but his abilities were still frightening. She promised herself she was going to tell her Dad soon, but she just didn’t know how.

She looks up when the bell of the restaurant rings and immediately goes on guard. The people that enter are glaring at their table, their eyes trained on her father. She may not be a hero in training, but she knew how to take care of herself and didn’t hesitate to take care of the people around her. Her Uncle Shoto tenses too before shooting her Dad a look. He turns to look at them, scoffing at their appearance.

“I’m having dinner, assholes. Can’t you pick a better time?” He stands, chair scraping loudly across the floor. She swallows – were these people former associates? Heroes with a grudge? Either way, anyone that wanted to hurt her Dad would have to come through her. Her uncle stands too, and anxiety builds in her stomach when she doesn’t see the group back down.

“I’d advise you to leave.” Her uncle states in his monotone voice, chilling bite behind his words.

“Acting the hero now, Dabi? Gonna let a big bad hero defend you?” The tallest member of the group says, followed with a deep chuckle. (News of Pro Hero Shoto’s relation to the villain Dabi had spread through private but had been kept from the public.)

“Who’s that hot little thing behind you?”

A large blue flame sizzles across her father’s hand, a warning symbol to the group. Her uncle puts a hand on her Dad’s shoulder and squeezes hard, and the flame flickers but doesn’t retreat. (If Uncle Sho hadn’t been here, she knows he would have taken care of them without a second thought.)

Something sparks in her when she sees a member in the back raise a weapon at the distraction, and without a second thought, she leaps from her seat and blazes a huge wall of light blue flames in their direction. It’s exhilarating, having this power, despite the fear behind it. Sure, it might have been overkill because she might have overestimated her control, but the shock and subsequent panic on their faces have her smirking.

“What the fuck?” Her stomach plummets at her Dad’s voice. Oh. Shit.

Her Uncle Sho reacts quickly to the growing fire and douses the flames with his ice, the group having already scattered out of the restaurant. She looks up to find both of them staring at her, mouths agape.

She can’t think rationally, so she does the first thing that comes to her mind – she runs. She silently thanks the restaurant for having two entrances, trying to ignore the shouts of her Dad and uncle behind her. Her escape is fruitless, though, her Uncle Sho quickly gaining ground and catching her with a painful tackle. Her Dad catches up soon after. She notes, with confusion, that her Dad looks scared.

“Holy hell, brat. Don’t run off from me like that.” He extends a hand to help both her and his brother up.

The sudden pain in her hands makes her cry out, eyes looking down to find harsh red marks across her palms and wrists. Her Dad takes a step forward in alarm, darting out to grab her arms.

“Fuck.” He turns to her uncle, who has yet to say anything, and groans. “She needs medical attention.”

Her uncle nods, giving a sympathetic glance to her. She’s known him long enough to know this meant there was going to be a talk later. Ugh. “I’ll take care of it.”

“Sit down while we wait.” Her Dad says, tugging her down before she can protest. He takes a seat next to her, not seeming to care they’re in the middle of the sidewalk. His eyes are practically boring holes into her. “Got something you wanna tell me?”

“I’m… sorry?” It’s all she can think to say, looking back down at her burnt hands. Her Dad sighs and wraps an arm around her.

“Look. I’m not mad. But fucking hell, kid. You scared me.” It sounds like he’s struggling with his words – vulnerability was never her Dad’s strong suit. He usually tried to play things off.

“How long?”

Fuck, she was dreading this question. She takes a deep breath before replying. “Since I was ten.”

He cards his free hand through his hair, muttering expletives. She knew that meant he wanted a cigarette, a habit he had dropped a few years ago at her insistence.

“I’m really sorry, Dad.” Her voice is small, and she fights back a sniffle. She doesn’t know why she’s about to cry. She never wanted to disappoint him.

---

Her voice reminds him of how she’d apologize when she got in trouble as a little girl. It tugs at his heart, and while he’s pissed as hell, he knows that’s not going to do any good right now. Fuck. His daughter had a quirk, and it might even be stronger than his. He doesn’t care about the strength – no, he’s worried for her safety. Flames were a powerful but extremely dangerous quirk. He knew that more than anyone.

He looks down at her, and just like he used to do when she was younger, he ruffles her hair. He feels better when her lips quirk up into a small smile.

“You’re not gonna be alone like I was. I’ll help. Your uncle will help.” He hated to admit it, but Shoto was going to be the more effective teacher. He always knew that if the day came his daughter developed a quirk, he’d have to reign the hands over to Shoto. It was a blow to his pride, but one he had deemed as necessary.

For now, he held her, reminded that his little girl wasn’t so little anymore.

“Love you, brat.”

“Love you too, old man.”

---

“Fuck him up!” Her Dad shouts, raising a sign he had (embarrassingly) made to cheer her on. Why did he make a sign just to watch a sparring match between her and Uncle Sho?

She doesn’t have long to think before her uncle is on her again, ice dangerously close to capturing her ankle. It wasn’t a fight – her Uncle Sho was too strong. But it was a way for her to experience different situations, a way to catch up on her lack of formal knowledge with her flame quirk.

Through many painful sessions, she had learned there was some sort of regenerative power that must have come from her womb donor. Well, at least she had given her one good thing in life. She dodged as her uncle tried to catch her off guard from the back, and heard her father shout more profanities. She almost gets the upper hand before the timer buzzes, alerting them that it was time to give her quirk a rest.

She’d grumbled when her uncle and Dad insisted on it, but it ended up being the smartest way to work on strategy and to keep her safe. She supposed that exhausting her quirk and hurting herself wouldn’t be conducive to protecting the people around her. The fact that her flames burned so hot made it difficult to use for long periods, and the regenerative ability had its limits.

Still, she wanted to become strong. She didn’t know if a career as a hero would be in the future. As the child of a villain, there were a lot of things she wasn’t sure about. She did know that she wasn’t going to let her quirk go to waste any longer.

“My badass kid, 1. Shoto, 0.” Her Dad says, tossing her a bottle of water. Her uncle just smiles, indicating she really did do a good job. “Doin’ okay?”

“Yeah, Dad, I’m not made of fucking glass.” She replies, and he just rolls his eyes.

“I can’t believe how you managed to spawn an exact clone of you, Dabi.” Her uncle says, shaking his head. “I like the upgraded version better, though.”

“Yeah, Uncle Sho said my flames are superior to yours.” She does a little twirl, and her Dad laughs. Damn, he was not easy to rile up.

“That just means my daughter can fuck up any little shit that tries to mess with her. A Dad couldn’t ask for a better gift.”

He ruffles her hair and she scoffs, though her heart swells up a little bit.

Being her dad’s pride and joy might be the best thing about her life.

---

He grumbles when something pulls against his earrings, hard. He doesn’t open his eyes, though, and tries to roll over before he feels tugging again.

“Dad.”

A pause.

“DAD.”

He sits up with an annoyed huff, met by his daughter’s mischievous face.

“I have something for you.” She doesn’t seem to care that she just woke him up.

“What time is it?”

“It’s midnight.”

“Kid, please. I’m old as shit. Let me sleep.” He tries to roll over, but she tugs at him and starts saying ‘Dad’ over and over until he finally gets up, grumpy and unamused.

She makes a happy hum that peels away the tiniest bit of grumpiness.

“Close your eyes!”

“Please don’t tell me that you finally burned the living room down on accident.”

“Don’t be a dick, Dad.” She doesn’t wait for a reply and grabs his hand, staring at him until he closes his eyes. Fine. He’d indulge her – she had been working hard at training her quirk. If she wanted to spend the energy to surprise him, he’d let her.

He trails behind her, not stopping until the two of them reach the kitchen. It smells good – he was grateful that was daughter was a decent cook, and a good baker, no matter how messy she was.

“Okay, open up!”

He was met with a bright blue cake decorated with two stick figures – one tall with the words ’OLD MAN’ written over it and one short with the word ‘BRAT’ written above, holding hands. Their free hands were giving the middle finger. Underneath the stick figure the words “HAPPY DAD-I-VERSARY” were written out in white icing, little hearts surrounding them.

“Before you ask what the fuck Dad-i-versary means, it’s the anniversary of me coming to live with you. Thought we should celebrate, considering I gifted you with my presence.” His daughter smirks at him.

Damn, he really did have the perfect kid. Don’t cry, Dabi. Don’t fucking cry.

Shit, a tear is rolling down his face, and suddenly his daughter’s arms are wrapped around him.

“Don’t go soft on me.” She says, but he can hear her muffled tears in his shoulder. “I love you, dad. Thanks for being my asshole old man.”

He barks out a laugh and squeezes her back. “And I love you, shitty brat. But I’m gonna smash a piece of cake in your face for waking me up.”

They both laugh this time.

Dabi can’t imagine life any other way.

[duhragonball]

Hellsing Ch. 70-76

I guess anything I say here is a spoiler, so yeah, this is “Heart of Dreams”, “Relics”, “Heart of Iron”, and the arc “Finest Hour”.  Oh, and “Lunatic Dawn”.   Gotta lotta ground to cover.    Treacherous ground.

Not a whole lot to say about Anderson’s death.  He tried to become a monster using one of the Holy Nails from the True Cross, and then Alucard defeated him anyway, once Seras gave him a little help and a reason to go on living.   Alucard was pretty upset about Anderson’s demise, but Anderson says a few soothing words, and reminds him that Al only became a vampire because he couldn’t stand being a human, so it doesn’t make a lot of sense for him to cry now.  

So yeah, as determined as Anderson was to kill Alucard, he’s a pretty good sport about losing this fight, and he seems to genuinely pity the man.   He wonders how long Alucard will go on living with his regrets, and Al replies “Until my expansive future shatters my expansive past.”  So, if we want to take that literally, I guess he’s trying to find redemption by being a good guy to make up for his years as a bad guy.   Well, he’s been a vampire for 523 years, and a servant of Hellsing for 101 of those years, so I guess maybe he figures if he trucks along for another 321 years that’d balance the scales?  

And maybe I’m finally starting to appreciate some of the complexities of Alucard’s character.   The Team Four Star Abridged series spent some time on his desire for redemption, but I couldn’t tell if it was based on the original material or something they came up with for their own version.   For instance, the Abridged!Alucard rejected the forgiveness offered by God himself, but later Anderson spoke of his desire for redemption and Alucard didn’t dispute that.    It seemed contradictory to me at the time, but the manga does seem to support that.    As Vlad Tepes, he refused to ask God for anything, preferring instead to fight and drive himself and his followers to the limits of endurance and decency as proof of their faith.   

I find that idea heretical, because it suggests that a person can “earn” God’s favor, or God’s forgiveness, or a place in heaven.    Arguably, Anderson tried to do the same thing, but I think he was coming more from a place of doing zealous deeds out of gratitude for the Lord’s grace, rather than trying to earn anything he didn’t already have.  

The difference with Alucard is that he seemed to be really wrongheaded about his faith, trying to use violence to become a good person.   Then it didn’t work, and he became a vampire, devoted entirely to his own selfish desires, and I guess he’s spent the 20th Century realizing that he’s back where he started, trying to fight his way to redemption, only now he has centuries of red in his ledger instead of mere decades.   

Oh, anyway, while this is going on, Integra takes a sword and stands it upright so it looks like a cross to mark Anderson’s death.   It’s like this quiet sign of respect.   I’m not sure whose sword that is, but it looks like the one Alucard was using in his Dracula persona.   

Anyway, fuck all that, because Walter finally shows up and stomps the ashes of Anderson just as everyone was having their final farewell with the guy.  Rude.

Young Walter just looks kind of stupid to me.  Why is he still wearing the monocle?  He’s trying to be 14 and 69 at the same time and failing at both.

Seras asks what Millennium did to him, but Walter makes it clear that this isn’t some brainwashing trope.   He’s doing this of his own free will.

He also doesn’t consider himself loyal to Millennium.    They turned him into a vampire, but he’s doing this for himself, and he’s only cooperating with them because their goals are in alignment.  

Yumiko Takagi tries to kill Walter for... Was she mad at him for stomping on Anderson’s remains?    I mean, Alucard’s the one who actually killed Anderson, so shouldn’t she be mad at that guy? 

It doesn’t matter, because Walt just slices her into pieces with his magic filaments.    Now Heinkel Wolfe wants revenge, because she was her long-time partner in assassin stuff.   The TFS Abridged series implied that they were lovers, too, which seemed authentic at the time, but I’m not sure there’s any confirmation to be found in the manga itself. 

But before she can take the shot, the Captain shows up and shoots Heinkel in the face.    Like, through one cheek  and out the other, and the only thing saving her from serious injury was that she happened to have her mouth open at the time.  

Side note: I caught myself referring to Heinkel as “him”, which frustrates me because I’ve known she was a woman for like five years now.    When I first watched the OVA, I was confused, becuase I could tell it was a female voice actor, but maybe that just meant he was really young, like with Schrodinger.   But the Hellsing Wiki set me straight, or so I thought.    I didn’t think I’d still be making this mistake. 

On the other hand, Yumiko sometimes looks a lot like Goemon from Lupin III, so her wearing a nun’s habit isn’t as heteronormative as it might seem.  I’m getting off-track.

You’d think this would be leading up to some big double-team on the Hellsing group, now that the Iscariots are out of the picture, but the Captain’s only stopping Heinkel so Walter can have a clear shot at Alucard.    That’s the sole reason Walter turned traitor, you see.   He wants to fight Alucard and win, and for the last 55 years they’ve been on the same side.  

But is that all it is?   I never got to read or watch “Hellsing: The Dawn”, the prequel manga Kouta Hirano created after Hellsing.  I’ve heard that it never got finished, but also an anime adaptation was released with the home video release of Hellsing Ultimate Episode VIII.  All I really know about it was that there was this time where Alucard and Walter were fighting the Nazis, and the Captain showed up, and Alucard ran away because he didn’t think he could beat that dude. Presumably, he left Walter to fend for himself?   But all three of them survived until 1999, so I’m not sure what the outcome of that was.   I always wondered if Walter held a grudge over that.   But maybe I’m reaching. 

There’s also a suggestion of professional jealousy.  Walter was a rockstar vampire hunter in his youth, but he’s been overshadowed by Alucard, who is--let’s face it-- a living legend.  This would be doubly true in the 90′s, when Integra reawakened Alucard, and Walter having to step back even further from the spotlight.  The only way for him to reclaim his former glory would be to challenge the greatest of all vampires and win.    He’d go down in history as a traitor, but at least he’d be cemented as the absolute best.  

Or... or, you can go with the TFS version, where Walter hints at his motives, only for Alucard to take the wind out of his sails and announce “because you wanna fuck me!”   And I love that theory more than any other explanation, because it just brings everything together a lot more neatly.   I guess you don’t need Walter to have had a crush on Alucard for 55 years, but it’s a lot more compelling than revenge or professional jealousy.    Those things have weight, sure, but they work better as distractions, the things Walter might admit to because they hide the deeper reason that he can’t bring himself to say out loud.   

And it’s not entirely rejected by the manga.  Alucard remarks on how much more beautiful Walter looked in his old age, compared to this treasonous knockoff vampire look he’s sporting now.   The last time he spoke this way, it was when he flirted with Queen Elizabeth II.   The next time he does it, it’ll be with Sir Integra when she’s in her early 50′s.

Speaking of QE2, she’s safe and sound, because the Secret Service evacuated her to a fortified location in Dover before Millennium attacked.   If things get really hairy, they’re prepared to send her to Canada, and if London can’t be secured, they’ll nuke the whole city, though the Queen is certain that Integra and Alucard will win the day.  The vampires acting as Millennium agents outside of London are being contained and destroyed, so things seem to be getting under some semblance of control.  

However, the Royal Order of Protestant Knights, also known as the “Round Table” is down to just three surviving members.   Integra’s in London, but here we have Rob Walsh and Hugh Irons, reflecting on the death of their fellow Round Tabler, Penwood.  

This whole scene struck me as a complete non sequitur when I first saw it in the anime.  Walter’s betrayal seemed to sudden and poorly explained that it felt like the author was just winging it by this point, and now we have these two dudes struggling to provide some justification for the twist.    But reading this manga in 2021, I find that it makes a lot more sense.    We’ve already seen tons of Britons in rather lofty positions, all willing to sell out their principles for a chance to become a vampire.   Walter is no different from any of them.   It’s just more personal when he does it because we actually know the guy.  

But as Walsh discusses the utter debacle of this Millennium invasion, he deduces what we’ve just learned back in London.   There must have been a traitor in their ranks, because that’s the only way Millennium could have made it this far.   I mean, they just flew a bunch of giant blimps full of rockets right into British airspace.   That only worked because they had traitors sabotaging the U.K.’s defenses and communications, and Hellsing was especially vulnerable at the same time.  

The only thing Walsh can’t figure out is who the traitor was, since it had to be someone at the Round Table, but they’re all dead now, except for Integra, Irons, and himself. 

But Irons fills in the missing pieces.   It doesn’t have to have been one of the Round Table’s members, but someone close to one of the members.   Years ago, Irons warned Walter about Richard Hellsing.   Irons knew that when Arthur died, Richard would try to make a play for the Hellsing estate.   But when Irons’ fears came to pass, Walter wasn’t there.   It’s like he wanted things to play out the way they did.  

But why would Walter want events to play out that way?   On her own, Integra had no choice but to unseal Alucard to defend herself, and she’s kept Alucard active ever since.   And now, lo and behold, Walter reveals that he turned traitor just so he could take on Alucard.   It’s like he arranged for all of this to happen years in advance.   But how many years?    Fifty-five, Irons wonders.   

It’s never explicitly confirmed, but Irons’ reasoning makes too much sense to ignore.    Earlier, the Major said that he decided back in ‘44 that Walter “Angel of Death” Dornez would have been a good “get” for his side.    Now, Irons is suggesting that Walter might have agreed in the same year.   So maybe Walter and the Major made a secret agreement even then.   It’s possible that they might have done it later, but why not in 1944?

I mean, the whole backstory here is that Millennium is a continuation of a secret Nazi Vampire project that Walter and Alucard destroyed in 1944.   Except they didn’t destroy it at all, which sure makes Walter and Al seem very bad at their jobs, unless Walter let them escape and covered it up.

Meanwhile, the Captain tosses a first aid kit to Heinkel, kind of like he’s saying that he doesn’t want to kill Heinkel, but he can’t let her interfere either.   We’ll talk about the Captain later.

As for Alucard vs. Walter, Al wants to check with Integra before he goes through with it.   He asks for orders, repeating his big speech from when he killed all those cops in Brazil.    Yeah, Walter’s a traitor, but he’s been a close mentor and advisor to Integra for all these years.   Does she really want Alucard to killerize his ass?

Yes, she does.   If Walter stands against them, then he’s the enemy, and Integra has already ordered Alucard to destroy the enemy, no matter who (snif!) they may be.  Integra doesn’t relish this command, but she refuses to compromise over sentimental feelings.

Man, fuck you, Walter.  

Then the Major lands his airship near the battlefield and invites Integra to come aboard and fight all of his remaining guys.    Alucard orders Seras to join her while he deals with Walter.   I can appreciate Seras’ concern here, because the last time she watched Alucard fight alone, he took a flaming bayonet to the face.   She probably doesn’t care for Integra and Alucard splitting up like this.

Before she goes, she thanks Walter for all of his support, which disarms Walter for just a moment.   Man, fuck you, Walter.   Seras is so nice and grateful and polite and cool and you just go right ahead with your 55-years-in-the-making Nazi Vampire Jilted Lover scheme.  Fuck you, Walter.   You don’t deserve to be in Seras’ life.

So the gals go on board the airship and Schrodinger’s there and Integra just shoots him right between the eyes without bothering to slow down.    This is maybe my favorite Integra moment in this thing. ��  I sort of wish Kouta Hirano had done a spin-off of Integra and Seras doing cool shit like this for 30 years.

Alucard taunts Walter with the fact that he no longer gets to be a part of Inegra or Seras’ lives anymore.   It sounds kind of petty, but when you think about it, it’s a pretty sick burn.    Walter may have been planning this for 55 years, but he still had to live that double life, and it’s not like he can just say he was faking it the entire time.  

So they fight.   Walter’s magic wire powers seem to be amplified, either because of his restored youth or maybe the boost offered by vampire powers, or maybe he’s always been this strong but now he no longer needs to hold back anymore.  For instance, he can make mesh screens with his wires to deflect Alucard’s bullets.   And when Alucard summons that dog creature he used to dispatch Luke Valentine....

... Walter just bisects it with a flick of the wrist.   You really begin to see why he was “The Angel of Death” back in his heyday.  

I never understood what this dog familiar was supposed to be.   Walter refers to the Hound of the Baskervilles, but as far as I know that’s just a legend confined to the Sherlock Holmes novel of the same name.   But apparently that concept was based upon “black dog” folklore of the same region.  There’s a whole laundry list of “black dog” apparitions in Britain alone.   Black Shuck, Padfoot, Hairy Jack, Bizarro Snoopy, and so on.   So I’m not sure if Hirano is saying that Alucard was the source of these legends, or if they were all based on a single creature which Alucard eventually defeated and absorbed into himself.   

Al tries to use the Jackal to kill Walter, but that’s kind of stupid, since Walter designed the gun in the first place.   In the anime, I thought Walter somehow triggered a bomb he had planted inside it, but maybe he used his wires to make this happen.   It doesn’t really matter, because we already saw that the Casull was useless against Walter’s defenses, and not because it had smaller ammunition.  

Then Luke Valentine emerges from the black dog’s body.   This part never made any sense to me, but I loved how the Major recognized him, but barely.  “Oh yeah, it’s that guy from Volume 2!    The guy with the brother.”

The doctor suggests that when the dog was killed, this allowed Luke to reassert himself from inside the dog.   Something about a “control ratio”, whatever that is.  Like, he was absorbed into the dog’s mass, but now that the dog is no longer conscious, he can think for himself again.    Notably, only half of Luke actually makes it out .   It’s like he’s half-Luke, half dead dog monster. 

But before he can do anything else, Walter puts his wires into Luke and starts controlling him like a puppet, mostly so he can use the dog half to attack Alucard.

Alucard seems more impressed than threatened.   Keep in mind, Walter was doing pretty damn well against him early on.   You’ll notice Alucard’s missing his right arm along with one of his guns.   This is better than Anderson managed to do.   So why does Walter even need this Luke-dog puppet thing in the first place?

Well, it’s because Walter’s body is giving out on him.   Earlier, when the Doctor was performing the procedure to turn Walter into a vampire, he spoke about how rushed the operation was.  I mean, he had to finish the whole thing in one night, after all.   And Walter’s a lot more powerful than Dandyman, whom the Doctor considered his finest artificial vampire work.    So maybe Walter’s just too powerful for this, and he can’t sustain this form.   The Luke-dog-thing is just to keep Alucard busy while he coughs up blood.

The Major sees this development, and likens Walter to a high stakes gambler who’s mortgaged everything for a single hand at a high stakes table.   Walter’s risked everything just to tangle with Alucard, and it still isn’t enough.

Alucard does manage to finish off the dog-Luke thing, and this sets him up for Walter’s next attack, and then he goes to finish him off, so things seem to be going Walter’s way...

But Alucard used a decoy, disguising Luke’s severed torso as his own, all so he could sucker-punch Walter in the face.   As it turns out, Walter’s physical breakdown is making him younger, which amuses Al to no end.

So Alucard follow suits and assumes the form he once used when they fought the Nazis in 1944.   Yeah, say hello to “Girlycard”.   I’m not sure why Alucard looked like a 14-year-old girl during World War II.   I’ve heard this form described as a Japanese 14-year-old girl, and I can’t dispute it, but it also makes Girlycard seem even more random somehow.   

I mean, I guess the idea here was for Walter and Alucard to be able to move inconspicuously through enemy territory.  No one would suspect a couple of kids until it was too late.   I’m imagining a similar scenario to the ones presented in “Cross Fire”.   Heinkel and Yumi would play innocent bystanders, then whip out their guns and swords and go ham on the bad guys.    Knowing Hirano’s style, maybe Girlycard and Young Walter operated the same way.  

And this further supports the Walter-had-an-unrequited-crush-on-Alucard theory.   He might have understood that Girlycard was a disguise.  On an intellectual level he might have known, but maybe he still carried a torch, and told himself that there was some way that they could be together.   Was he just in love with this disguise, or does he love the real thing?  Alucard says that he told Walter the truth decades ago, and claims that this is the reason Walter turned traitor, so yeah, it sure feels like Walter couldn’t handle Alucard’s true nature, one way or another.   

I mean, let’s assume that this isn’t just about Alucard not being a cute girl.  Maybe Walter fell in love with Alucard in all his forms, whatever that means for his sexuality.    The bigger issue is that Alucard’s a vampire, and he’s just fundamentally different from Walter, and maybe that was the problem all along.   It’s interesting to think about, but the point here would be that there was some kind of problem, and Walter couldn’t let it go.

Meanwhile, Seras and Integra are busy looking like total BMFs.   Just HBIC’s.   What’s better than this?   Two gals bein’ pals.   

Hell yeah!

Bad ass!

The vampires on board this airship are happy to meet their doom, and Integra recalls what her father once told her about how vampires want to die on their own terms.   Seras doesn’t get it, because if they want to die so badly, they could have just died in the war they were already in fifty-odd years ago.  

So the Major gets on the PA system and explains to her that they want more than just a glorious death.   They want bigger, better, more perfect battlefield, so as to make their deaths as meaningful as possible.  That’s why I don’t understand that airship captain from a while back.   Everyone else in Millennium seemed to understand that they weren’t necessarily fighting to win.   Britain is prepared to nuke London if they have to, so it’s hard to imagine anyone in Millennium surviving past today, even if they won.  

Anyway, as the Major explains all of this, the Captain appears before the gals.  It looks like he’s here to stop them, or is he?