#i tried to brainstorm with her but she didnt offer anything

[bamboo-muse]

I made the mistake of trying to offer advice to a GenZ government office girlie-pop about how her staunch belief of 100% honesty about every waking thing about her was never going to get her a job because office politics will eat her alive for it no matter where she goes and she just refuses to listen and thinks everyone else is wrong.

I hope she gets what she wants at some point, but I have my doubts and think she is going to be one of many of the most psychologically abused individuals in the workforce.

[romaelettuce]

The Fire Within Us- Chapter Thirteen

A/N: i apologize for the long wait, i have been very sick, and i cannot bring my dumb mind to brainstorm this chapter within just two days, i have planned it out and it didnt work, its a lil bit short bc im saving some for the fourteenth part hehe

She hates the way she is prepared; the way her hair is styled and made to walk in the most ridiculous dress suggested by the queen of course. 

Her father's words echo inside her head despite the noise amidst the crowd in front of their dinner table.

"The responsibility I have handed to you, the burden of this knowledge..." The King's voice drops into a whisper, holding Aenar Targaryen's dagger.

"It is larger than the throne, it is larger than me."

Her love for him is larger than anything else.

"It is larger than you...and your desires."

She swallows as if she ate the words he said, trying not to look guilty in front of her father.

"The Old King would've disinherited you."

"For a lie? For a slander that your queen claims? You've yet to ask me for the truth of what happened."

In front of her, she saw him, refusing to believe her.

"The truth doesn't matter, Rhaenyra." 

"But If I were born a man I could father a dozen bastards and bed whomever I wanted."

She defiantly said, her voice raising as soon as her father came closer.

"Yes, you're right." He rasps. " But you were born a woman." 

He firmly said to her. "Your courtship is at an end, you will marry Laenor Velaryon, and you will do so without protest."

Hearing this, she couldn't help but feel her heart break, but didn't let her tears slip away.

She sighs as she ends their discussion in obedience.

But deep down, she knows that Daemon will find a way to smuggle her out of this.

"Congratulations, Princess." Her eyes swiftly advert to the Lannisters, bowing in respect as she takes in the presence of Jason. 

He offers to take her hand, but Rhaenyra does not move. Viserys chuckles in his seat, pretending to be amused and nudges her knee underneath them. 

"Glad to see you all again-"

"Except you," The Princess cuts him 

off, her eyes piercing on the man that once proposed to her.

"Strutting like a fine man, wished he looked like one." 

Hearing her, Jason glared, eyes narrowing.

"Then tried to lure me to be his wife but failed, stating that he can father dragons." 

Everyone in the room paused as they heard her, him receiving awkward glances, but still, he stubbornly replies.

If Daemon were here, Gods know where-

"And this is how our future queen 

converses with the one of the most beloved lords of Westeros?"

He steps closer to the table, the atmosphere tenses between them. Jason would stop at nothing, but his insides quivered when he hears her again.

"Yes, you can father anything. But with you insulting the heir to the Iron Throne, let me speak to you, plainly."

She leans back on her seat as everyone exchange looks at their heated conversation.

"Only a dragon can father more dragons. A lion cannot, and you will 

fucking not."

Viserys held her hand firmly, signaling her to stop as they witnessed Jason stepping away and still bowing in respect to the King, but his eyes bore into hers as he is humiliated because of his arrogance for the first time.

"Rhaenyra..." 

She's had enough, and cannot receive more guests that flooded the throne room.

"Carry on with your speech, that Lannister cun-" 

The room falls silent as she sees her.

Instead of donning one of the dresses Viserys had chosen for her, she descended upon the steps, her velvet green dress dramatically caught the eyes of those who are envious enough to wear it.

She tries to walk like a queen, circling around their table before stopping to place a gentle kiss on her husband's cheek, her gaze fixated on the Princess.

"Congratulations, stepdaughter."

She says, giving her a fake grin.

"What a blessing this is for you."

Rhaenyra did not have to contemplate for she knew she's pretending in front of everyone, and she didn't care anymore.

As her father continues his speech, she anxiously shifts in her seat, occasionally looking around to see if Daemon would arrive.

He wouldn't miss this, it is entirely impossible that he had not heard about this.

"Any sign of him?" She hears her betrothed, also uneasy beside her.

"No, but I'll make sure he arrives 

before you can even blink, I mean he's just preparing to look good for the both of us."

"Seven hells..." Rhaenyra chuckles softly as she hears him curse, straightening up in his seat before downing his glass.

"Waiting for someone?" They heard Alicent, standing up to take her husband's seat, audaciously taking a seat beside Rhaenyra.

Laenor looks away, staying away from the Queen's sight so that she didn't have a choice but focus on Rhaenyra.

"We do not have to say anything to you, Your Grace."

"Oh, but you do." She replies, eyeing her up and down as she recalls the past encounter they had in the Godswood.

"I am certain you can explain how the both of you still managed to be betrothed despite the events that have happened. This celebration is entirely impossible to even happen."

This little bitc-

"I'm sure you would also like to share about how you are being used and fucked like a common-"

"You are speaking to the Queen, Rhaenyra." Alicent reminds her, her voice firmer than it was moments ago.

"And you are speaking to the one and only heir, Your Grace."

She averts her eyes from her and slowly rises from her seat. "Ser Laenor and I can choose to report you to the king, such vile insults were levied against us."

She came closer as she towers above her seated figure. "I am to inherit the Iron Throne, Your Grace. This is the highest of treasons."

With that, Laenor chuckles quietly as 

she leaves, thanking her quietly, with Alicent regretting her words and for going too far.

Hell, she can't even speak like a Queen in Rhaenyra's point of view. And there she remained seated, awkwardly for the rest of the evening.

She wastes no time and begins to search for him, taking off her shoes, her feet hurting.

Has he heard? It is entirely impossible for him not to have heard of it. 

It was publicly announced, her mind 

yells, he should be here to smuggle her out of this, to fight for her.

Her mind is in turmoil when she has searched everywhere, but came to realize that he never really came.

He never came to...to stop this.

"There you are." She sees her father in the hallway, coming towards her.

" What did you do?" 

Viserys stops in his tracks as he heard her voice cracks, adrenaline 

coursing in her veins, she knew that her father had something to do with this.

They were silent as they exchanged looks, then she moved quickly, descending onto the steps, her father struggling to catch up to her.

"Rhaenyra!"

Viserys yells, struggling to grab a hold of her as she sprints faster.

Her dress got all muddy once she reaches the dragonpit, the keepers moving aside to let her claim Syrax, then scanning the other cave, the cave where Caraxes sleeps, finding it empty.

She knew something was wrong. She mounted Syrax quickly, purposely ignoring the King from below as her dragon soars high into the sky.

It did not take long until for them to reach Dragonstone and find the Blood Wyrm, seeming he was about to depart, given the crates attached to him.

Her heart starts to beat faster as she runs into the castle, cursing as her dress drags onto the floor, delaying her from getting up the stairs.

As she tirelessly steps into a room, there she finds him, slightly coated with darkness as night creeps in.

"Uncle?"

When he hears her broken voice, it brings him back from the moment she begged him not to leave, crying ceaselessly as he restrains himself from touching her.

And this made him turn towards her.

Shout-out to: @nyctophilic0vitnir , @grandlovescheme and @firefly-graphics

Thank you @nyctophilic0vitnir   (go to her page pls, there's a lot of fics waiting for you to read them), for the support and encouragement,for checking and correcting the errors of this piece, and for your time and effort. I appreciate you!❤

Thank you @grandlovescheme (go to her page or her A03, type in her name ⬆️) for the support and encouragement, I appreciate you bestie!💗

And credits to you @firefly-graphics , the dividers are pretty cool!! Pls Follow ⬆️❤

Tags: @grandlovescheme @nyctophilic0vitnir @janelei @eschercaine @valkyrriee @taketotheskies @daemyrachaos @rhaenyratumbles @lady-phasma @multifandermissesvirgil @flamehairedsiren @theobjectofyourire @gipsydanger17 @deseretsolitaire @obsidian-hearts-deactivated2023 @profoundlydecadentmentality-blog @nyrasblog @missyviolet123 @foreverinmyguiltypleasures @ruby-dragon @vsenyatargaryen @foreverinthepagesofhistory @whateveryeah @mukduk-not-murder @queenoficeandfire @eyelinerandcigarettes @rhaeisthequeen

[hyacinthva-blog]

( park hyungsik, cismale, he/him ) — welcome back, YEON EUNSOO. i’m surprised you’re still a FIELD AGENT ! congrats ! you’re TWENTY SEVEN years old ? our agents usually don’t last that long ! :O I see you’ve been given a FINNISH SPITZ. funny how it seems they work harder than you ! can’t wait for another lovely day of you being ADROIT. though, if we’re being honest, we really know you’re more RESTLESS. welp, have a good at work, agent HYACINTH. i really don’t care ! i’m a robot, i have no feelings.

— hullo everyone ! i’m kay and super duper excited to be here~ to introduce myself quickly, i’m 20, reside in the gmt+3 timezone and go by she/her pronouns. i’m available over tumblr im and almost always on d.scord, which is why you should def add me @ kay#5119 ! i’m going to be roleplaying as this hyperactive ball of energy, eunsoo, the oldest of yeon brothers && a field agent for 6 years now ! you can find more about him under the cut, but i would also loove to plot some connections & threads, so please don’t hesitate to hit me up or give this a LIKE ♡ and i will slide into your dms ! aaand without further ado, you can find more about him here —-

ABOUT

— their father disappears when he is only 2 years old, with a baby brother newly born. as expected, their mother has a lot on her plate; trying to take care of two boys and juggling work at the same time. however, eunsoo still has a happy childhood, even if he has many more responsibilities than his peers, he doesn’t mind.

— grows very protective over his family, especially his younger brother, eojin (ie. dongguk), and tries to help his mom as much as he can. from a young age, soo has an untreated adhd / hyperactivity disorder he deals with. 

— he has troubles with concentration and sitting still, but not wanting to cause more problems to his family than they already have, he directs that towards sports. he is a very good soccer player, plays whenever he can. as he gets older, he begins picking up any part time jobs he can juggle with his high school studies. 

— as he nears the age to go to a college, he has no idea what he wants to do with his life; thinks maybe he can get into a subpar university with a sports scholarship, but he isn’t sure if he should simply get a proper job instead — since their family needs that a lot more. 

— however, the answer comes to him instead when he gets an offer to join hwarang’s training program, having been noticed during one of his sports matches. it offers a lot more than what he can do by himself, so of course, he agrees to join training when he is eighteen. it takes him a bit longer than three years to graduate as a field agent, but he is over the moon when he officially becomes one of them.

— personality wise, he is very energetic, hectic and worrisome. wants to get things done quick, and he is very talkative, almost annoyingly so. it’s a good thing that he has a lot of stamina; since he can get things done with only a few hours of sleep, as long as he doesn’t crash. on the other end, he sometimes has problems concentrating still, especially when he has something else on his mind. however, luckily enough, he is very mission oriented, wants to make good work within the agency, so he works hard, as hard as he can to get the results he wants.

PLOT IDEAS

— training partners: this would be around 9-6 years ago, could be friends, could be rivalry, or maybe they didn’t get along well at all.

— partners in crime: people he works well with on the field. maybe they compliment each other well, and your muse doesn’t mind soo throwing ideas at them.

— in plain sight: maybe soo has hesitated during a mission, and your muse picked up on it. it depends on them what they would do with it!

— messed up together: the mission was a complete bust, and they are lucky they made it out alive, its either a reason to get closer, or they got more distant from one another. 

— mentor: esp when he first joined the agency, eunsoo was very lost. didn’t know what he got himself into, didn’t know what was expected of him, someone close that helped him on his way to become an agent would be great. eunsoo would trust them a lot, and look up to them a lot!

— car crash hearts: like i said, he is prone to crash when he lets things buble up, doesn’t sleep for a couple of days and has too much stuff on his mind. maybe your muse has witnessed him freaking out about something, or it was the first time you saw him so calm and upset, either way, it would be very interesting to see where it would lead!

— intimidated: perhaps your muse has showed their displeasure while eunsoo kept talking, or they are of high rank that he can’t help but feel intimidated with. it’s a tense relationship, but you can clearly see eunsoo trying to avert his eyes whenever ur in the same room.

— best friends: pls!!! soo is very affectionate, but doesn’t open up easily behind his cheerful façade. to have someone like this would be very interesting, soo has their back for sure!

— romance/exes/crushes: up to plotting! maybe exes who didnt work out, or maybe they slept together once, didn’t mean anything, or maybe it meant a lot but they can’t admit it to one another. i love pining, or something more established would be great as well! like i said before, soo is a handful & p affectionate, but he means well ;;

aaand i think that’s it ! i hope it made sense ! i would love to plot things, so if any of these strike your fancy or you’d like to brainstorm, feel free to hit me up, or GIVE THIS A LIKE ♡ and i’ll slide into your dms ! ♡ ♡ ♡

[tumblunni]

Brainstorming about my yokai watch ocs: Dimmy and Gorgeous Ambassador, the most cutest family

* My Dimmy's name is Blythe and they are nonbinary. Gorgeous Ambassador is male and i dont have a name for him yet. I was thinking maybe try and make up a dub name for kageusuo (anime exclusive pre evolution) that sounds like it could have been his nickname as a human? Cos his story is that he used to be a wandering mercenary in ye olde ninja times, i feel like itd be fitting.

* Blythe is the main partner of my protagonist in my yokai watch lp, basically the jibanyan of the anime of my heart. Their personality is mostly similar to the Dimmy in the anime, but i feel like theyre maybe older and more powerful than the average Dimmy? Like a weak low evolution yokai thats stayed unevolved for centuries and is actually more skilled and world weary than you'd assume. Protag just got lucky that she bumped into this one super magikarp, lol! Also i like to draw them looking more teenage age by just taking the regular Dimmy design and making the tail extra super long. They stand roughly twice as tall as the protagonist and can wrap around her shoulders like a scarf :3 Blythe is however totally unaware of their super powerful mega skill and is very self depreciating and low confidence. But Mallory totally sees them as a cool older sibling mentor figure and is always trying to figure out ways to make their tol squiggle friend feel included and valued :3

* the way Gorgeous Ambassador comes into the picture is that he was actually the same sort of figure to Blythe! Back in the ninja era Blythe was partners with another human, but he passed away in tragic circumstances and it led to their current depressed self. However he actually reincarnated as a yokai and has been trying to find his lil sibling ever since! I feel like he was a failure samurai who tried to protect people but was so weak he never could. And he was always broke and starving and begging to do any sort of miscellaneous jobs for anyone or even let them punch him in the stomach for a few coins. And he had just as much self confidence issues as Blythe but he coped with it by becoming a compulsive liar instead, always boasting and trying to sell himself as some legendary hero to keep from facing the truth. Since Blythe was a cute lil babby yokai at the time, they always believed their human master's tall tales and looked up to him, which made him feel really guilty and try harder to work on becoming someone this kid could be genuinely proud of.

* Blythe was first born as a household spirit. Cos i was thinking about what Dimmy would be before it became a ninja, since the medallium description says it 'got a job as a ninja to put its powers to use', so like it isnt really a ninja yokai but just a yokai thats a ninja? I guess?? I figured that the idea of being an invisible shadow supporter fit with household spirits/domovoi/zakishi warishi (probably mispelled that) and the various other similar creatures in mythologies all over the world. Just the idea that theres some sort of being that protects your house and if you give it offerings and take good care of the place it will protect you and your family. So yeah its my headcanon that thats how Dimmys are born, and that theres probably many variants wearing different outfits inspired by whatever type of humans they guarded. Tho yeh ninja is a job that works really well with their abilities so it makes sense itd be the primary representative of the species in the games.

* Human-dude-who-would-become-gorgeous-ambassador first met Blythe when one of his various failed attempts to get a job happened to cross paths with the family Blythe was guarding. This family didnt believe in such old suspicions and never gave offerings to their household spirit, so it stayed small and weak and was almost fading away. Baby blythe didnt know why their humans didnt love them, even though they tried so hard to bring good luck and clean the fireplace and stuff. So they felt a sense of kinship with this poor failure samurai who was begging for food on their doorstep. The humans of the household spat in his face and turned him away empty handed, but the tiny yokai snuck some rice from the pantry and gave it to him. They were surprised that he was able to see them, and he gave them the first thank you they'd ever had!

* Addendum note: i feel like gorgeous samurai was cursed with being able to see yokai from a young age and its part of whay made him so determined to become strong enough to protect people. Perhaps his biological family was killed by an evil yokai and nobody ever believed what he saw? And he wandered japan trying to save other people and always failing and being blamed for what happened, since nobody could see the real culprit. This reputation of being a liar when he wasnt = he ended up actually lying about how he was totally fine and not sad and also great and not hating himself. Its not really something he can control anymore, its like a stress response and it keeps getting him in trouble but he cant stop. "Yes sure i can save the day, i'm awesome!" only makes things worse when he inevitably loses again, whic only makes his self confidence worse and traps him further in the lies...

* so anyway, he became friends with this lil babby yokai and kept coming back to visit them and tell more tall tales of his grand adventures. And eventually he managed to help Blythe come out of their shell a little and agree to leave this house where they were only fading away. Haunting him instead, the lil shadow soon flourished back to full health from being loved for the first time. And their new big bro would always give them the biggest share of all the food even when he was starving, and always wasted his money buying things for them, and knitted them lil scarfs and just HE WAS A GOODEST BIG BRO! They also made a great team, and he was finally able to fight evil yokai with a yokai of his own helping him out. Things were good for a few years!

* Eventually though, they faced a foe too strong for them to defeat. (Not sure yet who it is, cos it could be cool if they faced it again in the present day for a rematch?) Blythe's human friend ran into a burning building to save the people being attacked by this yokai, but because he was already gravely injured he didnt manage to make it out in time. And blythe was just a tiny bab who wasnt strong enough to carry his unconcious body to safety. So their last memories of him are of crying and begging him to wake up as the house fell apart all around them, and eventually the flames swallowed him up. the tiny yokai just ran and ran away from their shame, and never saw an ashy figure rising from the ruins and calling their name...

* eventually after years of struggling alone and lacking meaning in life, Blythe had a chance meeting with our protagonist and thus begins my yokai watch 1 lets play! At the same time their yokaified big bro is still out there searching for them, and maybe one day theyll meet again...

* also i wanna go with the pre-evo the anime added of Gorgeous Ambassador evolving from a sad depressed vampire lookin dude. Even if the whole circumstances here are vastly different! But we dont really have any info on what kageusuo's powers or stats would be, so i guess i'm free to mess around with that? I like the idea of it being vampiric just cos i feel it looks like that. But instead of drinking blood maybe its a hunger for shadows? Which is actually beneficial to humans and makes them less overshadowed aka the opposite of Dimmy's power. So if you ever feel that you're radiating charisma with perhaps a slightly lighter shadow, maybe youve been inspirited by this guy! And then the evolution into Gorgeous Ambassador doesnt actually change anything at all, except just looking more fashionable and confident (which is absolutely a lie). His power already made people more fabulous while being unable to affect himself, he just worked a bit harder on himself to try and catch up with everyone else. Self care vampire!

* oh and in this interpretation the way that kageusuo would be integrated into the gameplay is that Gorgeous Ambassador would get a new ability that lets him switch forms in battle, rather than it being a separate yokai. (Tho would still have a separate entry in the medallium just for conveinience of being able to view both character models whenever you want) Stuff that causes low confidence would make him poof between forms, and itd just be something like more attack based vs defense based, or maybe having two separate personality stats so its like his AI is slightly more versatile than the usual frustratingness of most yokai? Srsly im still so annoyed at so many yokai that have two mutually exclusive moves and the ai is stupid about using them at the wrong time to cancel each other out. Like how Dimmy can be given the AI personality to focus on attacking and thus take advantage of its auto-skill to be good at dodging aka a glass cannon. BUT also one of its skills gives that same status to an ally instead, which by definition takes it away from itself cos 'dont target this other guy' means there arent many other options. So you cpuld alternatively play dimmy as a supporter who exclusively protects others with that ability BUT the annoying part is that even when you set an AI profile to one particular move it still only makes it LIKELY to do that and not guaranteed. So every now and again your attacking dimmy will cancel its own buff to protect an enemy, or your supporting dimmy will forget to support abd instead buff itself despite not having the attack stat build to take advantage of it. Plus you cant have both and switch between modes mid battle, so thatd be REALLY useful if one yokai actually could do that, and also could change stats to fit! Im not sure how to give it a trigger condition thatd let you sorta change at will but also not be 100% easy and overpowered. I was thinking tying it to his confidence could mean missed attacks turn him into kageusuo and critical hits turn into gorgeous? But thatd be TOO uncontrollable...

* oh actually i think maybe i'll nickname him Amber! Just cos my brain just mispronounced gorgeous ambassador and It Kinda Works??? Also its a kind of name that sounds very pretty but also has connotations of gentle shyness, i think. Matches the duality of his fake boastfulness vs his true self doubt.

* Oh and i also thought of maybe having Blythe evolve into Casanono, even though you cant do that in canon. I feel like turning into a pretty humanoid would be a good way to symbolize their growing confidence ans casanono/casanuva has a big nonbinary aesthetic in my opinion. Plus of course the fact casanono is a variabt of a confident yokai thats actyally shy. Originally older brother dude was gonna be a casanuva to match, until i heard about Gorgerous Ambassador and decided it fits him better (especially with that new anime form!) So now im thinking maybe have Blythe be both casanono and casanuva at once, similar to their bro's form switching? But itd be more like casanuva is a rare super saiyan esque powerup when they experience rare moments of confidence. Im pretty much just doing this because SADLY casanono is a joke character who is literally mechanically forced to be useless in battle. Its ability makes it harder to catch yokai which ia already goddamn difficult, and it wastes a skill slot too. As opposed to Dimmy who has a similar personality of always being ignored and depressed but its abilities are actually beneficial. Itd suck to go from Blythe being my mvp to being unable to use them at all, so this would be a way to still always draw them as casanono in comics to match their actual personality, but using casanuva in battle cos.. Well.. Yeah its the functional one of the two. Level-5 if youre listening please make casanono useable in future games!! Casanuva is absolutely the worst one personality wise so it sucks that the game agrees with his ego that he's great and also punches his depressed counterpart into the bin of ignoreness DESPITE BEING SUPER SYMPATHETIC AND RELATEABLE AND ALSO CUTER COLOURSCHEME

Anyway thats all the thoughts i have so far. Except oh also itd be funny if throughout the whole story blythe keeps talking about their dead brother as if he was the super best most serious hero and then when the protagobists actually meet him he's this gaudy dork XD

[personifiedchaos]

So I've got a story to share.

Context: I am genetically female, emotionally nonbinary. My husband is genetically and emotionally a cis male(accordingto him. He is incredibly adamant about it and though I've tried to bring it up I dont feel I have the right to question who he says he is.) However, the way he acts and feels, if I drop the pronouns when I talk about him, you would be astonished to find out I'm talking about a 6ft4 350lb white cis male and not a 5ft2 120lb 1950s Latina housewife.

And vice versa for me. I'm a 5ft10 white female but if you talk about me without pronouns you'd think I was an old horney salty sailor. I swear, I drink, I'm Pan so my sexual tastes are over the place, and I work in a primarily male profession.

So male infact that I was only the 2nd female technician in my laboratory. Ever. Like 8th female program wide. None of that matters to me. I am who I am and I'm happy. I love my husband and who he is. This is just context.

Story time....

So I'm sitting in my lab doin paperwork and the guys are all kinda chatting around the main floor. The way the lab setup all our cubicals kinda sit in a circle opening into a big open space in the middle, so people tend to congregate in the center. This day we're all chilling and doin paperwork etc and somebody's wife calls and yadda yadda pick up bread and milk on the way home etc. So the guy gets off the phone and the conversation switched from sports to "our wives". (Unknown to them my husband has called himself my diva, my wife, my trophy wife, etc. I honestly believe he is nonbinary or transgender but he REFUSES to broach the subject. I digress.) So they're talkin about "my wife" does this and "my wife" does that etc. And I chime in with "Yeah, my diva loses his mind over how I load the dishwasher. It isnt good enough that I load it, it has to be done a special way! Or he loses his shit." (Mind you, this was YEARS ago and I didnt know my honey was OCD at the time.) Now, I'm the new guy at work, and the only female in the lab at the time, and only the 2nd female ever, and my predecessor was an ANGEL. She would not have said 'shit' if her mouth was full of it. She was a real oldschool "Lady". We all loved her, but I'm not her.

So I expect that (like 90% of my comments) this one will either be ignored, or the conversation is gonna die because I joined in uninvited. At this time the guys didnt know how to react to me. They were all terrified to say the wrong thing and upset or offend me which used to really bug me. Hardly anyone talked to me. I had only made 2 friends in the month I'd been there. I felt socially isolated. Anyway, I chime in expecting zilch and to my surprise It took a whole turn! Our lead tech pipes up! Now you need to understand, this dude NEVER talked to me. I now know that this is just his way around newbies. You have to earn his respect and friendship. He takes the job very seriously and wont talk to you or become friendly until he know you do too.

So I say my thing and he yells from the back corner of his cubicle "MAN MY WIFE USED TO DO THAT TOO! BUT YOU KNOW WHAT I DID!" Dude comes out of his cubicle. Now everyone is listening cuz lead tech don't talk much and we can all tell he is PROUD of this story. So he saunters out and plops down in a chair and rolls up into the circle. "LET ME TELL YA! SHE USED TO FIGHT ME ALL THE TIME ABOUT HOW I LOADED THAT GOD DAMN DISHWASHER! YOU'RE DOIN IT WRONG! IT HAS TO BE THIS WAY OR THAT WAY! PUT THOSE DOWN THERE AND THESE UP HERE!" Now homie is getting animated right. Talkin with his hands and getting loud and making a girly voice. I'm smiling ear to ear cuz it's my first team conversation that isnt a meeting. "So you know what I did!? I GOOGLED THE MANUFACTURER'S OPERATING MANUAL. THERE ARE LOADING INSTRUCTIONS IN IT!" He is laughing now. Laughing and red in the face with a big ass toothy grin. (ALL VERY NEW TO ME) he goes on "I PRINTED THAT BITCH OFF AND LAMINATED IT AND PUT IT IN A BINDER AND TOOK IT HOME! I SAID, 'HONEY! If we cant agree then were gonna do it the way it was designed to be done!!'" He slaps his knee. Smiles real big and laughs. Looks me dead in the eye and winks. "She never argued with me on how I use anything from that moment on." He is BEAMING with pride. "Any time we disagree on how to do something I pull out the instructions and we compromise and do it the way the instructions say. It has stopped so many fights and saved us so many headaches. That's how you do it! Get you an owner's manual and bury the hatchet. Life is hard enough without stressing over the little shit."

The conversation carried on and lasted the rest of the afternoon. I cant remember the rest. That lead tech is now our lab supervisor. He is a dear friend and co worker to me. He has taught me a ton in the 6 years I've been here. This guy has had my back and encouraged me and kicked my ass when I needed it. He has treated me like he does every other guy in our lab and everyone else followed his lead. I feel respected and I trust him. Thig guy has my loyalty but the thing that will always be my favorite memory of him is that dishwasher story.

6 years later my honey and I have found our way. We have 2 beautiful babies and are very happy together. That user manual trick actually worked really well for us. Once my honey say how it was designed to go it helped him not have an anxiety attack as long as it was done that way. Every time I load the dishwasher I smile because a veteran husband taught me some of the most valuable lessons I've learned about relationships. And they work for all kinds of relationships. Not just with significant others, but with friends, siblings, parents, children, neighbors, literally anyone you're gonna come in prolonged contact with...

If it matters to them, it should matter to you. If you cant do it their way and they cant do it your way, then you gotta them in the middle. The answer is out there, you just both have to want to find it together. This isnt a competition, it's a partnership, if you're more worried about winning the fight than fixing the problem then you're missing the point. And lastly dont just complain about shit. Offer solutions and brainstorm until you can find one that you both like because (though it is sometimes nice to have the sympathy and relief that comes with complaining to a friend or loved one) it eventually becomes frustrating to constantly hear complaints about a fixable issues. Nobody likes an askhole for very long. And lastly, life is hard enough without creating your own problems! Its 3am and I'm taking a break after deep cleaning my kitchen to share this with you. I hope it impacts you the way it did for me. Gnight my loves!