#i tried to animate this in 2020 and gave up 5 frames in + i couldnt draw ppl kissing

[bog-teeth]

how it shouldve gone

[just-like-playing-tag]

A totally self indulgent compilation of my favorite works on this blog of the year June 13, 2020 - June 13, 2021

2019-2020

The following lists are all in chronological order according to the date each post was first published.

Top 10 panel edits:

#1: It's our first morning

Date: Aug 20th, 2020 Time: ~ 2:18 h I really like how this one turned out!!! The 2020 Emma b-day edit has a lot of major panel redraws, but this is probably my favorite. I I really enjoy how I made the shadows work!! And the ear banfage looks pretty neat. Nice!!! Immagine

#2: Norman birthday edit 2021

Date: Mar 20th, 2021 Time: ~ 2:21 h Awww, soft Norman :') There was a bit to redraw, but I think everything turned out pretty neat!!! I believe everything works out fine. Though looking back at it, the part of the ID I added is definitely top small :')

#3: Manga dub: Yuugo gets knocked out

Date: Mar 27th, 2021 Time: ~ 5:05 h Here start the Manga Dub redraws to which I gave my everything ahah. This one turned out nice! I think the shoes turned out particularly good eheh. I like how Yuugo's clothing lineart- for the texture, I wanted to go for something heterogeneous, but I'm not fully confident in the final result. Gilda looks very rushed but ¯\_(ツ)_/¯

#4: Manga dub: Yuugo makes his dramatic entrance

Date: Apr 5th, 2021 Time: ~ 4:02 h This is pretty cool!!!! The coat took ages to redraw, but sis it turned out perfect!!! I'm very proud of this.

#5: Manga dub: RayGildEmma hug!!!

Date: Apr 9th, 2021 Time: ~ 1:31 h Awww, a beautiful panel I was really happy to have the chance to redraw. Taking into account what there was to redraw, I'm actually surprised with how little this took! Ray's backpack was a pain to make, but I think it turned out fine. I'm very happy with Emma and Ray's heads!!

#6: Manga dub: Formalities

Date: Apr 12th, 2021 Time: ~ 5:31 h It is not always easy to give sense to Demizu's perspective, but I do my best!!! In this I am *so* happy with how Don and Ray turned out, they look neat! The background on the other hand... It took hours to make ahah. I'm not fully confident in the perspective, but I'm happy with the details I've added- I really did my best to make it look like athe other manga panels and I think it paid off!!!

#7: Manga dub: We may be weaklings, but we're still alive

Date: Apr 30th, 2021 Time: ~ 1:37 h This little Emma is so cute!!!!!! I think the redraw turned out pretty perfect. I'm really satisfied with how this one turned out, and it's such a cute little Emma!!!! She's so brave and optimistic, I love her. It's a shame this panel didn't make it to the episode :')

#8: Manga dub: Goldy Pond Gang

Date: May 7th, 2021 Time: ~ 8:44 h lmao This is probably the panel redraw I'm the most proud of ever :') Just think everyone turned out very nice!! The ceiling is not exactly perfect, but it still works somehow. I'm very happy with how Gillian's back turned out!! I don't really like the fading effect on the right, but 8h in I got pretty tired of working on this ahah

#9: Manga dub: This is Goldy Pond

Date: May 21st, 2021 Time: ~ 1:29 h I'm very glad for how the Manga dub has been challenging me to learn to redraw backgrounds, something I had quite literally never tried before. It can be a little frustrating, but it's so satisfying to see the final cleaned piece!! With this panel, I also learnt to use copy and paste, which is something I had never done before beyond texture

#10: Manga dub: Good morning doctor

Date: May 21st, 2021 Time: ~ 3:42 h This is another background that turned out pretty good!! That one Norman is one I knew I would have had to fully redraw sooner or lager- the background was a bonus ahah. I'm very happy with the final result!!

Top 5 edits as whole:

#1: The Promised Neverland manga ending edit

Date: Jun 14th 2020 Time: ~ 12h 41min (5h 45min of cleaning panels in the edit + 5h 37min of cleaning panels that didn't make it to the edit + 1h 19min of resizing) + time spent cleaning panels I've deleted the file of so I can't see lmao This is overall very nice!!! The concept of an Emma evolution through her back is cool, and I think overall the edit turned out very aesthetically pleasing. The concept idea came to me while I was working on the 2019 Emma's birthday edit, a long time before the manga ending announcement- back then I wouldn't have imagined using it in occasion of the manga ending, but I think it ended up making a nice tribute. The colors add a nice touch, since so far my edits had always been black and white- it makes a sweet closure. To make that edit I selected 76 panels of Emma framed from her back; I plan to make other versions of that edit using the discarded panels eventually!

#2: Emma - Chapter 181: Beyond Destiny

Date: Jul 12th 2020 Time: 2h 57min My last edit for the manga 🥺🥺 I think this one is my very "manga ending edit" because to me it really signed the ending of weekly chapters and their weekly chapter edits. It makes me a little sad to look at it, but it's also, I don't know, kinda sweet to see how I grew both in my panel cleaning and as a person since I first started my blog. I'm glad I got into TPN!

#3: Emma birthday edit 2020

Date: Aug 22nd 2020 Time: 8h 54min This one turned out so well!!! Though I used the same concept for all the trio edits, I think this one is the best one. The two panels on the left / two panels on the right alternation combo never fails ahah. The colors are nice (shout-out to my sister for making me a palette), despite the fact that it was hard for the lighter ones to make them work with the images without having those disappear. I'm very satisfied with the panels I chose for this, I think they work really good together! Also, it got me very happy to read everyone's comments saying they liked the fading effect in the last panel :)

#4: Emma + Eyes Close Ups [1/?]

Date: Jan 24th 2021 Time: 5h 55min This one was really nice!! Another idea I got when working on the 2019 Emma birthday edit I was glad to finally execute. Started the edit in September, finished it in December. I'm overall very happy with how it turned out... I hope I will be able to make more in the future!

#5: The Promised Neverland Parallels → (9/?) » 114 // 122

Date: Feb 23th 2021 Time: 5h 7min (panel cleaning only) Aaaaahh I really like this one!!!! A parallel I love very much, and I'm really happy with how the edit turned out. All the hair redrawing looks neat!!!! The gif is maybe a little excessive, but I think overall it's a nice edit. I like it!!! Fun fact, I completed it on August 26th 2020, but I couldn't find the right moment to post it ahah.

Honorable mention: The Promised Neverland Parallels → (5/?) » 08 // 16

Date: Aug 30th 2020 Time: 2h 52min (Second picture cleaning only; I deleted the first picture art file so ¯\_(ツ)_/¯ ) I don't have much to say about this one except!! It turned out very nice!!!!! Love the pen lmao.

Top 10 analysis:

Too many analysis,,

#1: Post chapter 181 Emma analysis

Date: Jul 9th 2020 Mmmh a nice analysis. I think it was important for me to put down in words what I think of Emma's characterization and the manga ending, so I'm happy I did it!

#2: A long Oliver analysis because I love him very much

Date: Dec 6th 2020 What can I say I just love Oliver tons 😔😔💕💕 This was very fun to make!!!

#3: TPN s2 previsions

Date: Jan 14th 2021 Really love the effort that went into this + me proving that 11 episodes GP could have possibly worked + it's just a lot of fun to read again after s2 ended pffft

#4: More s2 delusional previsions lmao

Date: Jan 27th 2021 I think the points and previsions I made where pretty neat!! In my defense, it was pretty impossible to predict the anime would have ended with this season. I always feel honoured when friends and Anon ask for my opinion, I'm like "you wanna know what I think? Wow. I'm flattered (◍•ᴗ•◍) " Thank you to anyone who ever sent me an ask!!

#5: Why Emma not wearing pants is 𝕨𝕣𝕠𝕟𝕘

Date: Jan 29th 2021 Really proud of this!!! Pants Emma is important!!!!!

#6: Post episode 5 manga Emma analysis

Date: Feb 4th 2021 A depressed analysis, but a necessary one 😔

#7: Norman analysis

Date: Feb 12th 2021 I love him!!!! And I'm happy I eventually got to put down in words what I love about his character. The day I posted this ww3.readneverland was in maintenance so I couldn't use the volume scans for it- the thought of that post having fan edited and fan translated scans still haunts me

#8: RayDon rambles

Date: May 12th 2021 I had a blast writing this and like. It's likely the post of mine I reread more often of them all. I love this ship tons!!!!! I'm satisfied with how I put down in words what I like about them. I LOVE THIS SHIP

#9: Chapter 58 analysis

Date: May 23th 2021 I've wanted to express this concept since like the first time reading the manga- I'm so happy I finally did!!!! This concept is one of my absolute favorite things about tpn- the feelings that people are good. The concept that kids who got to live in an healthy and supportive environment will always be inclined to kindness and altruism, because humans are just inherently good. From the Three Character Classic: “people at birth are inherently good”. I want to have faith and courage to hold on the goodness in myself, and to hold on the goodness in the world, no matter how difficult it to do that (Chloé Zhao).

#10: Norman and Lambda squad relationship analysis

Date: May 24th 2021 I think this was a pretty sharp analysis and I like what I did with it!!

Other stuff:

#1: Krone birthday edit

Date: Jul 15th 2020 This edit is so good ;; Like not perfect since it was my first attempt at coloring gifs but still I believe it turned out so good ;;;;;; The time and effort that went unto this is crazy, but... Maybe I'm happy to have dedicated time to something I like for a satisfying result.

#2: Get to know my ship- Wolfpack Trio

Date: Aug 24th 2020 Uuuh a good post. A good ship.

#3: Gilda + blank glasses

Date: Aug 27th 2020 This is such a cute nice compilation!!! I love looking at it. A few panels are missing but still :')

#4: Apollo Ray AU

Date: Sep 7th 2020 (Though it was written Sep 2nd 2019 lmao) I'm so happy I finally gathered the courage to post this 😭😭 I really enjoy what I did with this AU, so this one and its other installments are all posts I have a lot of fun rereading. More than everything, I was astounded and overjoyed by the positive response it got: that gave me tons of confidence to put my ideas out there, no matter how unique they sound!!! Here's to hoping I will be able to post my RayEmma Hadestown AU, by other big AU from late summer 2019 :')

#5: TPN timeline project

Date: Dec 2nd 2020 This is like. I don't know it's a lot ahah. Arguably the project I'm the most proud of ever making. I'm just so happy of all the months long hard work and of the final result!! The post didn't receive much response (though the ones I got were extremely kind and sweethearted so that totally makes up for it), but in the end I don't really mind? I'm just so proud I accomplished that idea :')

#6: TPN calendar

Date: Jan 4th 2021 A nice sum of the tpn timeline + everyone's birth dates!!! I really like how it turned out visually. It's a cute little tpn calendar!!!

#7: Ray smiles compilation

Date: Jan 17th 2021 Ray's smile. That's it that's the post :')

#8: Trans Oliver headcanons

Date: Jan 24th 2021 MMMH really like this headcanon I think about it a lot

#9: Thoma and Lani theory

Date: Jan 28th 2021 I really don't want to brag but this is the best joke I've ever made :')

#10: My TPN AUs

Date: May 10th 2021 Ok you gotta admit those are very good AUs, I'm glad to have made a list out of them!!!

#11: Ranking Emma promotional art outfits

Date: May 16th 2021 This is one people seem to have liked a lot which makes me happy ahah. I'm glad to know we can all agree Emma deserves more pants outfits!! Please stop it with the gendered clothing :') This is the post I want to be remembered for

#12: TPN musicals AU part 2

Date: May 20th 2021 A GREAT POST I can't stretch enough how happy I am with those character-song associations. I hope I have time to make a part 3 in the future!!

#13: TPN Drive folder

Date: May 30th 2021 This was born as a way for me to have all the tpn extra contents easily accessible, but I'm happy to have shared it with people- I hope it will turn out to be useful to others too!

#14: TPN s2 recolorings

Date: Jun 12th 2021 A more diverse children cast is good for the soul :')

That's it, this year was really fun!! Thank you to everyone who supported me through it, I can't express how grateful I am for all the kindness and validation I received. Here's to many more months in the fandom!!! (ﾉ◕ヮ◕)ﾉ*.✧

[rubyjcat]

[Behind-the-Scenes] HELIOS Rising Heroes: Animation Showcase

“HELIOS Rising Heroes: Animation Showcase” is an English voice fan project I worked on all by myself (barring voice actors) that took five months to make.

The original plan was to make just one video, but it ended up being eighteen of them!

Link to YouTube playlist:

https://www.youtube.com/playlist?list=PL0UbdFyWSx0n_ewcd-t0iAB0adGe5lghH

In this write-up, I’ll be discussing details about the response to the project, recording all the footage, video editing, voice acting + audio processing, script translations + rewriting, which fonts were used, and even the emulator used. I’ve organized it into sections to make it easier to find certain things. Also, this is directed to English-speaking readers since I’m not gonna bother translating the entire thing to Japanese.

THE DREAM

I wanted to make this fandub ever since the game was released (in Aug 2020). I just knew that English voices would be extremely fitting to the world of HELIOS with a setting inspired by America and characters, places, and terms mostly in English. I was disappointed to hear that the studio behind the game, Cacalia Studio of Happy Elements K.K., had no interest to localize their games outside of Asia, which meant the chances of an English dub, let alone a global release were close to zero.

I was able to understand how to play the game thanks to the fan translators, some of which came from other Cacalia Studio games, and got inspired to continue learning Japanese (there was a previous attempt to translate Japanese lyrics years back).

What I thought was just the silly dream of one overseas player’s became something much more!

THE TIMELINE (BRIEF OVERVIEW)

I played the game for about two months prior to working on the project. Before starting the project, I had to sort out graphical and technical issues on my end first as I was unable to play the game smoothly until November.

November 2020

Finding all the in-game battle lines

Writing transliterations (romaji) of lines by ear

Learning and translating lines to Japanese

Started recording footage

December 2020

Further translation revisions

Held a casting call

Script rewriting and finalizing

January 2021

Completed casting

Started video editing (learning process)

Started audio processing

Recorded more footage

February 2021

Recorded more footage

Japanese script revisions

Finished working with VAs

Finished audio processing

Continued video editing

Published Preview video

March 2021

Recorded the last of the footage

Japanese subtitle revisions

Finished Showcase video

Finished Individual battle clips

Gave recommendations to VAs

The exact start and end dates were Nov 1st, 2020 to March 31st, 2021. Pretty neat.

RESPONSE TO THE PROJECT

I was absolutely shocked with the response to the preview video, which at the time of writing has just hit 10K views and almost 600 likes on Twitter and YouTube combined. Not bad for an unpaid hobby fandub (a joke only I find funny...) of an otherwise “niche” Japanese-only mobile game.

As of Apr 4th, 2021 - Thank you so much. This is more than I could’ve asked for.

The preview video blew up way more than anticipated, setting up for a bit of disappointment when the Showcase video was released.

The amount of views I expected for this project within its prime were a couple hundred views, so I’m content that the Showcase video reached that amount (it had ~500 by the end of March).

The expectations for the battle clips were an average of 100 views and a handful of likes - and each one got roughly that amount (or more) - so I’m also content with that, especially for something that’s just “bonus material”.

I tried my best to promote this project on Twitter with three main tweets. My one regret with promoting the project was making the second tweet after publishing the Showcase because the Japanese I wrote there was pretty terrible (as I was all worn out from editing and was in a haste to tweet about it). I tried to make up for it in a follow-up reply the next day, but it was too late. I was satisfied with how my third and final tweet and thread of battle clips turned out, but it sadly didn’t garner much attention. A reason for this was probably due to bad timing. I knew that the timing of the last tweet was awful as HeliosR did something special for April Fools’ day, plus the Easter event was being hyped around the same time, but I really wanted to finish up the project within March (my timezone, at least. It was already April 1st in Japan).

It was important to also make the videos accessible to the Japanese audience as they were a large portion of the viewers. This proved to be a challenge as my knowledge of Japanese is limited - at least for me, it’s easier to translate grammar-correct Japanese than it is to write my own sentences.

I ultimately decided against posting any of the videos on NicoNico because I wasn’t sure about Japan’s laws regarding copyrighted material. I knew it was already risky enough posting on social media and didn’t want to take any additional risks.

ABOUT THE FOOTAGE (1) – HEROES & ATTACK ORDER

HeliosR uses a gacha system, so to be able to even make something like this, you’d first need access to all 16 ★4 OG Heroes in the game.

I had them spread across five different accounts, four of which were reroll accounts. Asakou from the Cacalia RPG server gave me two of those accounts, and I rerolled myself for Keith and Ren during their Birthday Orders (one free 10-pull per account). Every account is also given a free ★4 selector ticket which I made good use of.

3,000 rubies (in-game currency) were sacrificed to pity the ★4 OG Dino when he was released in December just for the sake of the fandub!

Besides covering all of the Heroes, I also needed to play through each account to unlock certain story chapters, event stages, and evolve the Heroes for their shiny evolved CG art. Some of the Expert event stages (that had the Nighttime backgrounds) proved difficult to clear with a new account.

When using skills, the order of the Heroes were edited such that everyone was able to have the majority of their lines used at least once. All Heroes had two “receiving support” lines, two or three “supporting” lines, and two or three “skills against the enemy” lines. Some of the extra lines didn’t make it into the Showcase, so they were used for the individual clips instead.

I should’ve used Gray instead of Marion for the account that had Billy because you can see Marion’s sprite in Billy’s image. xD

In the Showcase, you may notice that the "Union Attacks" consist of all the ★4 CG images. These were spliced together; I never had all four Heroes of the same sector on the same account. For example, I would have Gray, Asch, and Jay on one account and Billy on another account, recorded their ★4 Bursts separately using the same background (from unlocking the Expert stages on both accounts), and then edited all the footage together.

Jay’s Burst was later re-recorded with a different attacking order so that he wouldn’t link to Billy.

It was also important to keep the same order of Bursts as well as use all four Bursts in the same turn. The ★4 Burst order was usually determined by who didn’t link skill with one another (with the exception of East sector as I was still figuring things out) because I didn’t want the link skill activation getting in the way of the animations.

As a little bonus, I also showed off the exclusive damaging skills of the Chapter 6 and 7 ★4 frames that I was lucky enough to pull from the gacha: Marion’s "Invitation To The Dance“ (roses), Faith’s “Synthetic Vibes” (beats), and Dino’s “Crow Mark Dead End” (claw marks).

ABOUT THE FOOTAGE (2) - BACKGROUNDS

Since I didn’t want to use the same battle music and backgrounds for all of the videos, I decided to use some of the themes from the limited-time events which went as far back as Nov 2020.

Each background has three variants (Daytime, Afternoon, Nighttime) and so I carefully picked them based on the colours. I ended up using mostly Expert stages - or Nighttime backgrounds, since Daytime versions were only used for Normal difficulty stages (which are too easy to clear).

The backgrounds used for the Showcase, all from limited-time events.

I decided to mix up some of the Heroes from other sectors in the individual clips for fun, basing it off of their relationships with each other. Using South sector’s background for Gast’s clip was a purposeful choice because I already used the North sector’s background for the other three North sector Heroes. I made sure to include Akira and Will of the South sector in Gast’s clip so it didn’t feel too random!

The only default background I didn’t use was Chapter 2’s because I already made use of the Casino theme for OG West sector’s individual clips. (...Plus I didn’t really like that background :p)

Here’s a list of all the backgrounds I used:

Escape the Prison (Nov 2020) - used for Showcase [EAST]

Mission of CASINO (Nov 2020) - used for Junior, Faith, & Keith clips

HAPPY NEW YEAR SHOW! (Jan 2021) - used for Showcase [SOUTH]

Help! Cooking Hero! (Jan 2021) - used for Will and Oscar clips

A Sweet Spell Garnished With Chocolate (Feb 2021) - used for Showcase [WEST]

Grandiose Chinoiserie (Mar 2021) - used for Showcase [NORTH]

The Hero Is A Detective!? (Mar 2021) - used for Billy and Jay clips

Default backgrounds: Chapters 1, 3, 4 (shared with 7), 5 (shared with 6) - used for all other clips

The Christmas event was the only event that went unused during the Nov 2020 - Mar 2021 period.

I didn’t record the East sector event (Christmas) in Dec 2020 because I was actually too busy with the casting call! I also didn’t think I would make use of it after already recording the Prison event intended for East sector. The project ended up taking so long that it actually benefited from having a wider selection of events over the months, which also showcased the beauty of the game.

ABOUT THE WORK & VIDEO EDITING

Hardware:

A decent computer.

A pair of no-name earbuds I found while cleaning out some junk.

Software:

All FREE!

*There’s a catch

NoxPlayer* emulator (debloated, read more about in its own section) and Open Broadcast Studio were used to record game footage and sounds.

Davinci Resolve was the main tool I used to edit the videos. A very demanding program that I only recommend using if you have a mid to high end computer.

MediBang was used to edit some of the art like the logos, but I ended up using Resolve for the majority of the graphics, including the thumbnails.

Audacity and Cakewalk were used to edit audio.

Many aspects for this project took longer than I had hoped because there was a learning process with using Resolve for the first time. I’m also a bit of a perfectionist, re-exporting videos tons of times just to fix small mistakes. Lastly, the time it took to make all the fancy effects was longer than I’d estimated. As the project dragged on, there was pressure to not delay the release of the videos any longer than I had to. A lot of this was self-imposed though.

There were days where I just did something else other than work on the project, which helped re-fuel my motivation when I decided to pick it up again.

Pretty much everything in the videos were taken from the game itself. The only graphics that were taken from the official website instead were the Substance symbols (the pictures with HERO at the bottom).

Additional overlay graphics were custom-made. It took two whole days to make the 3-second long sector intros and another two days to create and animate the arrow graphics for the credits. These were made using Resolve’s fusion and colour features. Much of the edit was inspired by the official HeliosR designs.

Left: Official in-game graphics // Right: My fanmade video (sector intros)

Sector intros were inspired by the four Heroes version of Union Attacks in-game.

Left: Official HeliosR video // Right: My fanmade video

The Preview video took after the ★4 Burst mini-previews as part of HeliosR’s promotional campaign, uploaded before the game was released.

Left: Official HeliosR video // Right: My fanmade video

The credits at the end of the Showcase were inspired by a different video, this time being the Half-Anniversary video.

The Showcase - which had a duration of 29:07 - was 11.5GB large in size. It took almost three hours to render (which I re-rendered to fix things) and two DAYS to upload to YouTube because I experienced multiple uploading interruptions. It’s a good thing you can re-upload the same video to continue where you left off without having to restart the entire process.

The individual hero clips didn’t take as long to make (but they took a while anyway as I re-uploaded some of them to fix minor mistakes). The recommendations for the VAs that were given alongside the publishing of each clip also spanned over another five days as I wanted to personalize and think about each one carefully.

A pretty frustrating part of the project was the prevalent lag when recording footage, which may have been due to the emulator and/or some technical things on my end. The Prison event used for the Showcase was the very first one I recorded when I wasn’t as aware about the lag, and so it suffered a bit as a result. The Union Attacks were the worst offender. I re-recorded the same battle scenes several times each just in case, then went through the footage frame-by-frame in Resolve and chose the ones with the least amount of lag. If all of the recorded footage suffered lag at different parts, I would even compare and splice together parts of them that didn’t lag. There was also audio lag (a known issue of NoxPlayer) so I had to move all of the audio forward by 1/3 of a second.

By the end of the project I had over 200 videos of game footage with a total size of over 24GB and a total duration exceeding 9 hours, not even counting all the ones that went unused.

The Heroes weren’t the only ones who evolved. MS Paint not recommended for thumbnails.

Overall, (despite the few mistakes here and there that nobody other than me would notice) I was happy with how everything turned out, down to the gorgeous thumbnails! I am an artist, after all~ :^)

I also have much more respect for video editors. They should be called VIDEO ANIMATORS!

ABOUT THE VOICES & AUDIO PROCESSING

When making a dub, it doesn’t mean we want to replace or best the original language, we just want to give it a new interpretation. In fact, the characters’ voice descriptions and direction provided in the scripts were heavily inspired by the seiyuu (Japanese VAs) and how they performed their lines.

Honestly, this was THE dream cast!! Some of the VAs had comparably similar voices to the Japanese ones which was an amazing coincidence. The ones that may not have sounded as similar had unique interpretations that I felt still suited their characters well. I also chose actors based on their performance, and everyone delivered!

Voice actors were not expected to imitate the Japanese voices and lines. They were provided direction and reference videos to help time their lines, but were otherwise given liberty when it came to their own interpretations.

You shouldn’t hear any jarring differences between the voice actors’ microphones and setups. That’s because I took the time to process the audio. Faith’s audio was submitted to me post-processed so it was used as a guideline for what the audio quality should sound like. Some of the others had comparable quality to Faith’s, so I only added compression to balance their volumes. Most of them benefited from equalization of various levels - this took some experimenting back and forth with the frequency spectrum. Lastly, a couple more benefited from clip fixing, noise gate, de-essing and/or click removal. It was very important for VAs to have at least decent room treatment; while small differences between mic frequencies can always be altered, echoes are difficult if not impossible to remove completely.

I feel that audio engineering is highly underrated and more important than ever as voice actors continue to record from home studios.

And in case it wasn’t already clear, this was purely voluntary work. No VAs or myself were paid to contribute anything for the project. Though, the experience alone was worth more than any amount of money.

ABOUT THE SCRIPT & TRANSLATIONS

HELIOS Rising Heroes「エリオスR」English Translation - Battle Lines

https://docs.google.com/spreadsheets/d/1ImWrAfvS_hgp6qr5qt30vCP63uHEk2o79uqY0h-3wL4/edit?usp=sharing

This spreadsheet consists of the literal translations for all the battle lines I could find in the game (it still isn’t done -yet-, plan to finish it when I get the chance). These are only fanmade and are not guaranteed to be accurate, especially as I wasn’t able to find another translator to help or proofread it.

After translating the lines, I made many additional revisions from the literal meanings such as changing the intention of the line slightly to flow better, having extra words added in to provide more context, or changing them completely. Thus, the lines used in the video are NOT literal TLs!

Another thing of note that may not seem apparent, but is what I feel an important aspect of character writing, is to remain completely unbiased towards all the characters. Personal favourites aside, I ensured that every Hero had their own spotlight as well as lines written in a way that remained faithful to their personality, no matter how unlikeable they were (looking at you, Asch Albright).

Even after giving voice actors their scripts, I made another revision in February after the release of the aforementioned Half-Anniversary video with the transcriptions for the ★4 Bursts, which is when I discovered a couple of mistakes with my transcriptions. This resulted in me having to edit out a part of one of the voice actors’ lines (Billy’s “String Show” line in his ★4 Burst) because of a translation mistake! I’m really glad I was able to double-check the correct lines before releasing the Preview video, or it would’ve looked pretty silly to Japanese viewers.

The last set of revisions were just minor edits to the subtitles (such as using kanji instead of kana) while I was working on subtitling all the videos.

Notable changes included:

WILL SPROUT

During attacking combo

Original line:

tanonda zo... ike! / “Counting on you... Reach!”

Rewritten line:

“I’ll become stronger... For everyone!”

The rewritten line is a condensed version of one of Will’s ★4 Evolved CG lines (“For everyone... I’ll become more and more stronger!”). He had “Reach!” in both his attacking combo and regular Burst, so I gave him an extra unique line.

★4 Burst

Original line:

warui kedo... kore de oshimai da! / “Sorry, but... it ends with this!”

Rewritten line:

“I’m sorry, but... it’s over for you! HAAAH!”

There were a couple of oversights I made with the script, and this was one of them that didn’t fit the animation properly. Props to Ryan for coming up with the extra shout at the end! So yeah, we kinda winged this line.

OSCAR BALE

When using skills against the enemy, during attacking combo, and in the ★4 Burst (repeat line)

Original line:

osoi! / “Slow!”

Rewritten lines:

“Too slow!” / “You’re slow!” / “Over here!”

Rewritten simply because I wanted to minimize repeated lines and change things up.

GAST ADLER

When supporting an ally, and during attacking combo

Original lines:

tetsudau ze / “I’ll help (you).”

itchouagari / “All done.”

Rewritten lines:

“I’ve got your six.”

“Target eliminated.”

I wanted to add in a few military terms to reflect Gast’s background.

FAITH BEAMS

★4 CG line (for the credits)

Original line (literal TL):

“It’s not terrible or evil, right? Surely this isn’t punishing... I guess?”

Rewritten line (with “mistake”):

“I’m not doing anything horrible or evil, alright? This is just business as usual... I suppose?”

Faith’s CG line had a mistake when I first translated and handed it off to his actor. I accidentally wrote “oshigoto” (work/business) instead of “oshioki” (punishment). The original has him pretty much saying the same thing twice anyway, so I would say the intention was still retained.

KEITH MAX

When supporting an ally

Original line:

gambare yo~ / “Do your best~.” or “Hang in there~.”

Rewritten line:

“Stay alive, would ya~?”

I know Keith’s meant to say “serious” things in a sarcastic or snarky way, but I just had to add in this fun line!

DINO ALBANI

Using skills against the enemy

Original lines:

haa! / “Haah!”

hei! / “Hey!”

Rewritten lines:

“I can do this!”

“Leave it to me!”

The Japanese lines for Dino’s offensive skills were rather basic, with the third and unchanged line “Here goes!” being a repeat line Dino also says when attacking. I wanted to give him some more lines - as standard as they are - to show his personality a bit more, along with having an additional fun West sector interaction. The changes fit the animations better too. (I actually had his VA say the "Haah!" line, but ended up using a different take of “Here goes!” in place of it.)

ABOUT THE FONTS

Fonts were taken from various sources and were either FREE for personal use or had an open font license. I didn’t have access to the commercial fonts (such as Futura) used in-game, so these were the following fonts I made use of:

Techna Sans looked similar enough to Futura when capitalized, and still looked decent in lowercase.

Jost* is a font that was derived from Futura. Some of its uppercase letters are sharper than Futura's, but it worked pretty well for the text in the credits.

Gau Font Over Drive was used for the ANIMATION SHOWCASE text.

Gen Jyuu Gothic LP was used for the majority of the Japanese text and its English letters were also used for the battle clip subtitles on Twitter.

Meiryo UI (default font) was used for the Preview videos’ subtitles.

Noto Serif JP (default Google font) was used for the serif Japanese text in the credits.

ABOUT NOXPLAYER ANDROID EMULATOR

ETA: AS OF VERSION 1.1.18 (04/23/21), EMULATORS NO LONGER WORK WITH HELIOSR (AS WELL AS OTHER CACALIA STUDIO GAMES). THE BELOW INFORMATION IS OUTDATED.

If, for whatever reason you’re interested in using NoxPlayer, you should take caution when installing it onto your machine. I don’t advocate for or recommend installing Nox. I had to resort to emulation so that I could record the footage and sounds directly from my computer using OBS. The reason why I used Nox specifically is because Cacalia Studio doesn’t like emulators, blocking most of them from running their games. I found further instructions on how to run the game in Nox from the Cacalia RPG Discord (via Twitter @HeliosR_en).

First, not all Nox versions are safe. It should only be installed from the official website, Bignox. More recent versions (I believe from 6.3.0.6 and up) may contain malware such as Segurazo and Chromium packaged with the installer which can be annoying to remove. The version of Nox I used was 6.3.0.0 (you can install older versions, then just don’t update it), which has Android 7 and doesn’t contain packaged malware (AFAIK).

Second, NoxPlayer may be “free” to use, but it comes with bloatware and profits off of its users’ data by collecting and sending it to many different servers. The below guide is what I used to debloat Nox and minimize communication to these servers. Scroll down the comments for additional domains to add to the hosts file.

Debloating & Optimizing Nox:

https://gist.github.com/Log1x/12d330ef7685d6fbc611d1d57efb5c29

This is another good guide that makes use of command prompt to remove additional bloatware from the emulator.

How to Remove Bloatware on Nox and LDPlayer Emulator:

https://codefaq.org/emulator/how-to-remove-bloatware-on-nox-and-ldplayer-emulator/

ENDING NOTES (TL;DR)

Images of the first and last video for the HeliosR project. We’ve come full circle!

One very tired and average person decided to translate, script, cast, direct, and edit an ambitious project all by herself using only FREE tools, and ended up taking too long to finish it. But at least she finished it, right?

Translators = RESPECT

Voice actors = RESPECT

Video editors = RESPECT

Audio engineers = R E S P E C T (their work is especially behind-the-scenes)

Hell, I even like Asch now.

During my time working on this, there was one question I always had in mind: “What would the fans want?”

I hope this follow-up has given you a bit of insight into the makings of the HeliosR project. Thank you for reading!

~RubyJCat

[aion-rsa]

10 Best Fighting Game Movies

https://ift.tt/31CS0wp

Once upon a time, Bruce Lee, Jim Kelly, and John Saxon visited a crime boss’ private island to compete in a fighting tournament and it was awesome. The 1973 movie Enter the Dragon is basically the prototype for the fighting games like Mortal Kombat and Street Fighter. And when those fighting games became popular, they inspired their own movies that either tried to emulate Enter the Dragon or do something completely new.

The ‘90s gave us the cheesy live-action fighting game movies from Hollywood and the animated movies from Japan. There have been several live-action Mortal Kombat movies as well as a few animated ones. There have also been multiple Street Fighter movies, four attempts at Tekken, a trilogy of Fatal Fury films, and more.

Are most of them bad? Yes. But did we pick our 10 favorite fighting game movies anyway? You bet. Here are our picks:

10. ART OF FIGHTING (1993)

Eh…it’s harmless.

The Art of Fighting series is mostly defined by the twist that the first game’s final boss is the main character’s father and the second game’s final boss is a younger incarnation of the villain from Fatal Fury. Take away those aspects and you’re left with a rather lowkey storyline for a fighting game where a teenage girl is kidnapped by a mobster and is rescued by her brother and her boyfriend.

Wait, I said that weird. It’s two different people, I swear! Except in Capcom, where Dan Hibiki is literally both of them merged into one character.

In the 45-minute Art of Fighting movie about Ryo and Robert, who are like chiller and dopier versions of Ryu and Ken, we watch as the duo gets sucked into a plot about stolen diamonds, martial arts criminals, and angry police lieutenants. It doesn’t take itself seriously and it’s a fine, breezy watch.

Ryo’s incorrect hair color kind of irks me, though.

9. STREET FIGHTER ALPHA: THE ANIMATION (1999)

This movie suffers from the same problem as Fatal Fury: The Motion Picture. It features a cast of heroes from a fighting game taking on a villain created for the movie instead of the villains we actually give a shit about. But the movie does also have some brief but awesome cameos (Kim Kaphwan and Geese Howard from Fatal Fury and Dan Hibiki and Akuma from Street Fighter Alpha) to brighten up a less-than-stellar plot.

Street Fighter Alpha: The Animation does at least get by because the original characters play up Ryu’s whole fear about being overcome by “the Dark Hadou.” This leads to some cool animations where Evil Ryu looks like a mindless, shambling zombie but also an unstoppable fighting machine.

The movie’s main storyline is about a kid named Shun who claims that he’s Ryu’s long-lost brother. He too is a fighter cursed with an inner dark side, which is used as a red herring to suggest that Shun’s father (and presumably Ryu’s father) is actually Akuma. That ends up being bupkis and Shun is just linked to some scheme by a mad scientist or whatever.

Probably the funniest thing about this movie is the directors’ infatuation with Chun-Li’s midsection. She’s wearing her form-fitting Street Fighter Alpha costume and there are dozens upon dozens of random close-ups to her lower torso from the front and back. If this were a drinking game, it would kill you.

8. FATAL FURY 2: THE NEW BATTLE (1993)

Of the Fatal Fury movie trilogy, this one is easily the best, even if it makes all the good guys seem like a bunch of overly-serious crybabies. The basic story is that after having avenged his father’s death, Terry hits rock bottom, dusts himself off, and comes out the other end stronger. Good, good. Going Rocky III is the perfect direction for a follow-up.

The problem is that Terry comes off as a bit of a whiner and the other heroes try way too hard to vilify the movie’s main antagonist, who hasn’t actually done anything that terrible. Krauser shows up one day, challenges Terry to a fight, wins, and says, “Okay, when you get better, train and fight me again.” Krauser isn’t trying to take over the world or murder orphans or whatever. He’s just a dude with huge shoulder armor who wants a good fight.

But everyone acts like Krauser’s the absolute worst. Terry starts drinking and falls to pieces while his buddies hope to get revenge. What a bunch of jerks.

While a fun romp, the worst thing about this sequel is how they redesigned Krauser. Gone is his mustache and forehead scar for the sake of making him seem younger. Kind of a bullshit move, considering he’s supposed to be the half-brother to middle-aged Geese Howard.

7. TEKKEN: THE MOTION PICTURE (1998)

This hour-long anime is almost great but just can’t stick the landing. It runs into the same problem as Mortal Kombat: Annihilation where the game series tells a specific overall story but the movie cuts corners to tell the same story. Tekken: The Motion Picture covers the first Tekken while setting up Tekken 3 and skipping Tekken 2 completely.

It means that everything’s well and good until the confusing and rushed finale. Otherwise, the movie is a fine use of the Enter the Dragon formula. Heihachi Mishima has a special island fighting tournament and the entrants include his vengeful son, a couple of cops investigating the situation, a gigantic robot, an angry Native American girl, two feuding assassin sisters, and a bunch of awesome characters who only get about three full frames of appearances each. Really would have liked to see something from Paul, King, and Yoshimitsu, though.

Other than Kazuya being pissed at everything, the best scenes are the over-the-top ones. When Jack does crazy robot stuff, when dinosaurs show up and start eating people, and that memorable sequence where Heihachi catches a hatchet with his mouth and then shatters it with his jaw.

6. STREET FIGHTER (1994)

I know this movie is just a GI Joe script with Street Fighter names pasted over it. I know it’s a cheesefest of dopey ideas and Belgian accents. I’ve long accepted that. Thing is, the movie is still a total blast to watch. What it lacks in faithfulness to the source material, it makes up for with pure camp and ham.

The 16 characters from Super Street Fighter II are represented here, except Fei Long is replaced with the forgettable Captain Sawada. How ironic that the movie star character isn’t even in the movie!

In general, the movie features some head-scratching depictions of classic Street Fighter characters. All-American Guile is played by Jean Claude Van Damme, Charlie Nash and Blanka are the same character, Dee Jay is an evil hacker, Ryu and Ken are comedic conmen, and Dhalsim is a frumpy scientist.

It’s Raul Julia’s M. Bison who keeps this guilty pleasure afloat. He’s to Street Fighter what Frank Langella’s Skeletor was to Masters of the Universe. He gives 110% and his performance is easily the best reason to watch this movie. It’s truly a wonder to behold.

Read more

Games

The Forgotten Fighting Games of the 1990s

By Gavin Jasper

Games

King of Fighters: Ranking All the Characters

By Gavin Jasper

The movie is infamous for inspiring a fighting game based on it, but you know what nobody ever talks about? The Double Dragon movie also had a fighting game based on it made by Technos and released on the Neo Geo. And Double Dragon wasn’t even a one-on-one fighter to begin with!

Anyway, if you intend to sit back and watch Street Fighter, make sure to add in the RiffTrax commentary.

5. DOA: DEAD OR ALIVE (2006)

Enter the Dragon meets Charlie’s Angels is a heck of a concept, but DOA: Dead or Alive is so confidently tongue-in-cheek that it succeeds as an action comedy that’s way better than it has any right to be. Part of why it works is that Dead or Alive has never had much of an overarching storyline, but is more defined by the individual characters (plus, you know, all the cheesecake). Enough of those characters appear in what’s your regular “fighting tournament on a mysterious island” setup.

The whole thing moves with such energy that it’s easy to get sucked in. It’s the opposite of the live-action Tekken movie, where even though the film features accurate versions of all the characters, everything is so drab and lifeless that you just can’t wait for it to be over. In DOA, the combatants spend their downtime playing cartoony action volleyball with Fake Dennis Rodman on commentary, while in Tekken everyone mopes about dystopian capitalism.

Other than Helena’s character being “important dead guy’s daughter,” most of the main characters are charismatic enough to keep your attention during the 3% of the movie when fights aren’t happening. It must suck for Ninja Gaiden fans that Hayabusa is depicted as a total dweeb, but he at least gets to do some cool stuff here and there.

The movie also has Kevin Nash playing a character based on Hollywood Hogan and he’s so likeable that I’m genuinely bummed that he peaces out about halfway into the movie. Luckily, the movie is entertaining enough that I didn’t even notice until after it was over. It helps that during that time, we get more of Eric Roberts, his amazing hair, and his special sunglasses that turn him into the ultimate martial arts master.

Spoiler alert, but the secret to defeating him is, get this, removing his sunglasses!

4. MORTAL KOMBAT LEGENDS: SCORPION’S REVENGE (2020)

It took a while, but Warner Bros. Animation is on fire these days. After that Batman vs. TMNT movie and Teen Titans Go vs. Teen Titans, the studio appears to be hitting more than they miss. That’s exactly the kind of team needed to put together the latest animated Mortal Kombat movie.

This is the umpteenth retelling of the first game’s story. Not only does it have to compete with the first live-action movie, but also the events of Mortal Kombat 9, which depicts the tournament in cutscene format. Fortunately, Scorpion’s Revenge has a few tricks up its sleeve. First, it puts Scorpion in the forefront as the protagonist. He was barely a character in the original movie and the game just had him kill Sub-Zero and feel bad about it for the rest of the story mode. Now he feels like a character in a crossover, making a mark on the original story instead of being put in the sidelines.

We also have the wonderful stunt casting of Joel McHale as Johnny Cage. More importantly, Jennifer Carpenter plays Sonya Blade, which is such a step up from Ronda Rousey’s voice acting in Mortal Kombat 11.

This cartoon has a very hard R when it comes to violence. From the very beginning, Scorpion’s origins are gruesome and grisly. Once Jax is introduced, it doesn’t take long until we realize, “Oh, that’s how they’re dealing with THAT plot point in this continuity.” Then there’s a surprise villain death late in the movie that not only comes as a shocking development, but it’s so graphic and nasty that you can’t help but be taken aback.

Scorpion’s Revenge is a fantastic first chapter of what is hopefully a series of animated movies, but it does have its pacing issues. Scorpion being the protagonist may be a welcome change, but at times it does feel like a square peg being crammed into a round hole.

3. TEKKEN: BLOOD VENGEANCE (2011)

One of the best things about the Tekken series is the endings. While the cutscenes from the first couple games haven’t exactly aged well, these CGI epilogues have become a staple in nearly every installment. What better reward for your time and success than watching a rocking action sequence with Yoshimitsu and Bryan Fury killing each other in the jungle?

And so, to play to the series’ strengths, Bandai Entertainment released a Tekken movie that’s really just one big ending cutscene. It’s not canon, but it feels at home with the games.

Since Tekken’s main conflict is with two ruthless megalomaniacs (Heihachi and Kazuya) and a disgruntled nihilist (Jin), it’s hard to treat any of them as a real protagonist here. Instead, they go with Ling Xiaoyu, who is portrayed as the person who sees the good in Jin and wants him to see the light. She’s given a robotic BFF in Alisa Bosconovitch because Xiaoyu is kind of a tame character and needs someone with chainsaw arms and a jetpack to liven things up.

The first hour or so is good enough to keep your attention and its lightened up by a couple appearances by Tekken’s best character, Lee. But once it gets to the third act, it just becomes a completely awesome Heihachi vs. Kazuya vs. Jin fight, with Xiaoyu taking a backseat to watch all the crazy shit going on. It’s a full-on fireworks factory, as we not only see Devil forms of Kazuya and Jin but a very special final form for Heihachi that’s a true delight for Tekken fans.

2. STREET FIGHTER II: THE ANIMATED MOVIE (1994)

Let it be said that for someone who grew up in the ‘80s and ‘90s, finding a faithful cartoon adaptation of a video game property was not easy. Link and Simon Belmont were unlikable sexual harassers. Mega Man was a more annoying sidekick than Scrappy Doo. Mario and Luigi teamed up with Milli Vanilli. Power Team was…a thing. When we got an animated movie based on Street Fighter II, it was mind-blowing. This was a movie where the very first scene was Ryu tearing Sagat’s chest into a bloody gash thanks to a well-animated Shoryuken.

There’s a lot going on in this movie, but at the same time, nothing is going on. By this point, there were 17 characters in the various Street Fighter II games, and outside of a blink-and-you’ll-miss-it Akuma cameo, it feels the need to include every single one of them. Some get minor roles, like Cammy and Dee Jay. Then there’s Zangief and Blanka, who fight each other for no reason other than for the sake of giving them something to do. Even Ryu vanishes for a huge chunk of the runtime.

Once everything funnels into the third act, this movie is great. And the earlier fight scenes are straight fire too, including the memorable Chun-Li vs. Vega brawl. Even though the movie already feels true to Street Fighter II, it’s even better when you realize that it’s all supposed to be a prequel to the game itself.

Or at least I hope so. Otherwise, all Sagat gets to do is get his ass kicked by Ryu and get chewed out by Bison.

1. MORTAL KOMBAT (1995)

The stars truly aligned for this one. Mortal Kombat Mania was at its peak, so it makes sense that this movie was a retelling of the first game’s story with added aspects from the second game, all while hyping up the arcade release of the third game. CGI was such a novelty in Hollywood in the ’90s that even if it looked primitive, it still looked cutting edge at the time. It was the perfect time to release this movie.

But Mortal Kombat isn’t perfect. Reptile is embarrassing. Scorpion and Sub-Zero being relegated to goons still stings. I still roll my eyes at the part towards the end where Sonya is suddenly the damsel in distress and Raiden flat-out verbally buries her by saying she couldn’t beat Shang Tsung in a million years. Otherwise, it’s the perfect storm of ‘90s action garbage.

There are so many over-the-top and charismatic performances here. Johnny Cage, Raiden, Shang Tsung, Kano, and even Goro are a blast to watch. All 10 characters from the original game are given something to do and, most importantly, they realize how uniquely weird the game’s story is and actually dive headfirst into it. The movie isn’t embarrassed to be a Mortal Kombat movie but handles itself well enough that we aren’t embarrassed to be watching a Mortal Kombat movie.

Even with a PG-13 rating, the movie was violent enough. Kano talked up seeing a pile of frozen guts in the wake of a Sub-Zero fight, Scorpion got his skull sliced apart with demon brain goo spewing all over the place, and Shang Tsung got impaled to death.

With the reboot being rated R, going for the gore could very well be the right route to go, but for the love of the Elder Gods, don’t forget to have FUN. All I’m saying is, if even Johnny Cage isn’t hamming it up, then what’s the point?

The post 10 Best Fighting Game Movies appeared first on Den of Geek.

from Den of Geek https://ift.tt/2Qf5EPa

[whereisten]

Gentle Monsters

Part 1 | Part 2 | Part 3 | Part 4 | Part 5 | Part 6 Preview | Part 6 (End)

Summary: After a night of running from a wild animal, you meet Johnny, the owner of the conservatory greenhouse you accidentally broke into. Johnny is kind and sweet—a little too sweet.

Genre and Warnings: angst, horror, some smut (nothing too intense), little profanity, few mentions of death, harassment, murder, a little fluff

Word count: 5.4K

[11:46 P.M]

Several weeks pass and you still can’t explain what exactly happened that night—or the next day. Johnny was one of kindest people you’d ever met, yet, he was the one who had your phone. You wanted to believe that he had nothing to do with the large animal that hunted you down that night, but you still couldn’t figure out how he would’ve gotten it.

You searched for it long before you reached the greenhouse, so it fell from you in the city streets. How did he know it was yours? How did he know your name?

You already answered these questions, but you didn’t want to believe it. How could a man as kindhearted and humane as Johnny possibly be that..monster.

You didn’t tell anyone what happened for fear that they’d dismiss it and laugh at you. Your roommates just assumed that you got lucky with someone that visited the bar you worked at. You laughed it off and quickly changed the topic whenever they asked who it was.

You still felt chills when you walked home alone late at night, glancing over your shoulder every few seconds only to see the dark, empty streets you were so familiar with.

As time went on, the memory of that night started to fade, and so did your memory of Johnny.

You wanted to see him, to explore more of his conservatory and to get answers on how he found your phone, even if deep down, you already knew the answer. Despite the possibility of who—or what Johnny may really be, you started to feel something for the brown-eyed boy that looked at you fondly. But you were scared. Scared of saying the truth out loud.

“Hey! I said can I get a gin and tonic please?!” A man yelled out from across the bar, interrupting your thoughts.

It was a busy Friday night as usual. Businessmen of all ages went out with each other to talk about their wealth and how wonderful their lives were.

“I just bought a 100-foot yacht, but the piece of shit only has four floors, I only got it because my wife was being a bitch when I forgot her birthday” one man laughed with his friend at a table you were serving.

They always tried to compare their extravagant lives and decide who had it worse. They disgusted you. Every week was the same thing. You always heard about their first world problems whether or not you wanted to.

“I’ll do you one better. My son completely wrecked his 2020 Ferrari, the bastard was going 200 mph when he ran a red light and hit some junkyard van, with some foreigners in it, killing everyone on sight, but guess what? The bastard’s perfectly fine. I can’t get rid of him!” they burst out into laughter as you grew sick to your stomach.

“Oh shit, what are you gonna do?” a third guy asked.

The other shrugged his shoulders. “Ah, the DA will take care of it of course” they laughed again.

You placed the drinks they ordered on their table and started to walk away.

“Hey! Princess, I got a question” one of them waved you down.

Here we go.

You gave a thin smile and walked back to their table. “How can I help you?” You said quietly, a bit tired from all the walking you’d done.

“Why don’t you pour yourself a drink? Take a load off and sit with us” the old man smelled like cheese and had liver spots all over, his tone and the way he eyed you up and down made you feel like projectile vomiting right then and there.

What you wanted to do was punch the shit out of his entitled ass, but you couldn’t do that, women wouldn’t dare do that at their job despite the ridiculous levels of harassment we received.

So you continued to smile and keep a poised posture.

“Thank you for the offer, but I have to decline.” You nodded and turned to head back to the bar. The bouncer watched from a few feet away, ready to step in if you needed him to.

The old man grabbed your wrist to pull you back to the table. “Now, you don’t wanna make a few guys like us upset, right? We paid for good service, really good service” he winked and you looked over to the bouncer who started to walk quickly towards the table. You raised a hand to tell him to stop, you got this.

You shook your wrist out of the man’s grip and turned to the asshole who was feeling quite brave after a few drinks.

“You’re right. You do pay for good service. And to show our appreciation for your business we will provide several drinks for you and your friends on the house. I’m sorry, but that’s the best I can do” you grinned, hoping the firey hate you felt didn’t show through your eyes.

“Huh, you’re a tough one I see, bring on the free drinks, but next time, I’m gonna need something else from you sweet cheeks” the blob of cottage cheese said smugly.

You started to walk away again when you felt a slap to your behind. You furiously turned around to see the men giggling and holding their heads down.

You exhaled and raised your hand to the bouncer who started to walk towards you again.

He knew this meant you had something special for these fools.

You took 5 beer glasses out of the dishwasher in the kitchen and reached into a cabinet under the bar, and pulled out a jar.

Re-LAX

You smiled as you grabbed the laxative powder jar. You dipped into it with a tablespoon and dropped 5 scoops into each glass. You decided to put two extra scoops into the last glass, saving that one for the handsy jerk.

You filled each glass to the brim with beer, making sure to stir the powder as your poured.

You walked over to the table with your tray and placed each glass in front of the men, making sure to hand the extra special glass to your extra special guest.

“Have a good night guys, we’ll see you next week.” You beamed and walked away.

The men continued on with their conversation and drank. You were busy with other tables, but you would glance over to that table to see that the glasses were empty. You silently laughed to yourself.

You fools are gonna be shitting your brains out on your 24 carat gold toilets tonight.

When you went home that night, you closed your eyes and fell asleep quickly. As you slept, you dreamt of Johnny.

In your dream, you wore your silk night gown. The apartment was empty, you were alone. Maybe your roommates were over at their friends house or at a party, you didn’t know, you couldn’t remember if they had told you they’d be out late or not. Your phone was nowhere to be found and you didn’t remember how you got there.

You sat up in your bed and looked around your room that was lit from the bright moon outside your window. You were alone, and yet you felt a presence other than your own.

“Hello?” You asked quietly.

You stood up and walked out to the living room, you peeked into the other rooms and still found no one. You decided to walk back into your room. You stopped once you passed the door frame when you caught a pair of glowing red eyes peering out from the corner of your room.

“Wh-who’s there?” You asked through a shakey breath.

No answer.

You grabbed an umbrella that sat at the door and pointed it to the figure.

“What do you want?” You said as you held the long umbrella up in defense.

The eyes were familiar. They seemed to be the same eyes that belonged to the animal that followed you that night, but the figure was not the same.

As he stepped out from the shadows in the corner of your room, his red eyes dissipated into the brown ones that you loved. “Johnny?” You asked, your grip on the umbrella weakening slightly.

“You never came back” his voice was low, his face was somber. He looked hurt. He was barefoot and wearing a white T-shirt and blue jeans. The sleeves of the shirt stuck to his brawny arms and his skin still radiated in the night. You couldn’t keep your eyes off of him and the strange glow that surrounded his body. He was a magical sight.

“Johnny..why are you here? What are you?” You asked as your started to remember the very reason why you never returned to his conservatory.

He continued to walk towards you, ignoring how your hold on the umbrella strengthened.

He didn’t have the bright smile you remembered. Instead he looked sad. You felt a small pain in your heart as you looked on the gloomy Johnny. You didn’t want to see him like this and you couldn’t bare to think that you were the cause of him being sad. But you too were hurt, hurt that he was hiding things from you. You needed answers.

“Johnny, what’s going on? Why did you have my phone?” You asked as he walked closer and your trembling hands struggle to hold firm the umbrella.

“You already know the answer.” Johnny said softly, grabbing the top of the umbrella and taking it out of your weak hands.

He was closing the space between your two bodies, you backed away. “Why? Why me? You scared me.” Tears filled your eyes as you remembered how terrified you were that night. Johnny still looked down at you, lips curving downward.

You felt a cold wall on your back that stopped you from walking backwards. Johnny now stood about a foot away from you. “Please, don’t be afraid of me” Johnny looked into your eyes, he always did when he spoke to you. It was like he found something there that he couldn’t let go of.

“I’ll never hurt you” he whispered, closing in on the space between you once again.

He tucked a strand of your hair behind your ear as he held your face. He softly wiped away a tear that ran down you round cheeks with his thumb.

“You still smell amazing” Johnny smiled and you felt your heart drop. That smile, the one you had missed for the last few weeks. You didn’t know why you loved it so much, but it made you feel content and safe. Everything about Johnny was homely and protective.

“Why didn’t you come back?” He asked as he looked at your lips which were just a few inches away from his.

His eyes followed down your neck and to your breasts and nipples that were barely covered by your skimpy silk night gown. You felt exposed to him, you should’ve regretted your decision to wear this night gown but you didn’t. You wanted him.

The overwhelming mixture of fear and contentment you got from him made you like you couldn’t breathe around him, he gave you a rush. If what you thought was true, he was dangerous, but he was also kind and seductive.

He watched your chest rise up and down rapidly as he got closer and leaned down to ghost his lips over your neck. You wanted to feel his soft lips on your skin, you wanted his hands to touch your body through your silk night gown.

But you had to hold yourself back. He still didn’t tell you what he was.

“Why would I go back to a monster?” You asked quietly and looked away, hesitant to ask such a question.

He looked up from your chest and into your eyes again, pulling back.

You looked at him with a stern expression.

“Am I a monster to you?” You could see the tears start to build up in his eyes as he could barely get out the word.

“I don’t know, I don’t know what you are.” You cried out, overwhelmed by everything you felt. Johnny was soft, delicate, kind, and this is what made you like him. But you truly didn’t understand what he was and why he was after you.

“Let me show you.” Johnny quickly walked towards you and held your head in his hands. He pulled you in for a passionate kiss. You kissed him back, you heart beat fast as you finally felt his heavenly lips on yours. He kissed you with so much fire, you felt your skin heat up. It was like he had been waiting for it all his life. You felt his hot breath on your soft and moist lips as he turned his head. His lips and the way they caressed yours made you feel like nothing you had ever felt before. Your heart was in your throat and a yearning for more started to grow in your stomach. It all felt so real.

You pulled away to breathe and looked into his dark eyes as he picked you up. You wrapped your legs around his waist as he turned and headed towards your bed. He continued to kiss you hungrily, forcing your mouth open with his tongue. You placed your hands on his head to hold his mouth firm against yours, you felt as though you may die if he let go and released your lips.

You felt like you needed him to breathe. You wanted to breathe him in, you want to feel him. You didn’t know it before but you had been aching for him, his smile, his body for all these weeks. He was magnetic and you couldn’t resist him.

He leaned down and gently placed you onto your bed, making sure to not break the kiss. He worked his mouth on yours as you tugged at the hem of his t-shirt. He quickly threw shirt over his head and across the room. You marveled at the sight of his toned body.

He was so beautiful, his skin gleamed in the moonlight and his wide shoulders were so perfect. He leaned back down so that he was in between your legs. you ran a hand through his shiny and soft hair as he kissed your neck. He started to suck hard, leaving a mark on the perfect and dainty skin of your neck. You cried out at the feeling.

He had been thinking about doing this for so long, holding you in his arms and making love to you. And now he finally had you in his grasp. You were his now.

He sat up on the bed and pulled you onto his lap. He continued to suck small marks on your neck as you moaned out. Your hand rubbed his back as he kissed you softly. You opened your eyes as you felt the large scars that decorated his back.

He pulled away and bit his lips as he looked at your eyes.

He saw the worried expression on your face and gave a small smile from his swollen lips. He took your left hand and intertwined it with his right hand. “Take me for who I am, don’t let me go...please” Johnny whispered as he looked into your eyes deeply.

As you nodded, he reached for you lips again and let go of your hand so that he could hold your hips. He gripped your hips and pressed it down so that you could feel his growing member against your core. You moaned out at the feeling. “Johnny..”

He let go of your hips as you started to grind into his lap on your own, and you pulled his gold belt loose and threw it across the room so it joined his t shirt on the floor. He pulled his lips from yours and looked into your eyes again as he brought down the straps of your night gown, they fell down the sides of your arms easily.

Johnny kissed down your neck and to the top of your breasts. He sucked hard once again and ran his hand down your back. He groaned as he felt your wetness on his crotch through his jeans, and your hand in his hair.

“Johnny..yes” You breathily moaned out for him, wanting to feel more.

He looked up at your hooded eyes and smiled.

“This is who I am” Johnny said as he brought the hand he used to caress your back, to your front. He flicked up his index finger and revealed an extremely long and point nail, he then opened his hand out to reveal that all of his nails were long. Your eyes widened as you watched his hand turn into a large claw.

His fingers cracking and elongating in front of your very eyes. You gasped and looked back to Johnny who’s eyes glowed a deep red, the honey brown eyes you loved had disappeared within seconds.

You tried to get off his lap but he held you down with his other hand. “What’s wrong? Don’t like what you see?” Johnny asked in a deep tone, his voice slowly splitting into multiple octaves.

“Johnny! Let me go!” You screamed.

He grabbed your throat with his claw and pressed the sharp nail on his thumb into it.

You cried out. And suddenly jolted up in your bed. You opened your eyes and looked up at your ceiling. You quickly sat up and looked around your room, there was no sign of Johnny. You panted and grasped onto the sides of your night gown which stuck to your sweaty body. You closed your eyes tightly and opened them again.

Nightmare. It was just a nightmare.

“But it felt so real” You said to yourself. Your hands were shaking, but you managed to stand up and walk over to your bathroom. You flipped the light switch and squinted when it shined brightly.

You opened them wide to look at your skin. There were no hickeys, no marks, no scratch. You were completely spotless.

It really was a nightmare. You could’ve sworn you felt Johnny’s hot breath on your chest and his large hands on your back just moments ago. The details of his face remained strong in your mind even though you hadn’t seen him for weeks. The visual of his small nose, Cupid’s bow; his thick thighs and strong arms, it was all so vivid and real.

Your heart dropped when you remembered his glowing eyes and claws.

What’s happening to me?

You thought to yourself. How could you imagine Johnny like that? He was nothing like that, or at least, you didn’t think he was.

——————

The next day your coworker woke you up after calling 3 times in a row. You prayed she wasn’t asking you to fill in for her on your day off. But you had to answer.

“Hello?” You sluggishly asked as you rubbed your eyes.

“Y/N! Finally! Have you seen the news?!” She asked in a state of panic.

“I haven’t even seen my feet, Elaine, why would I watch the news.” You yawned, you hated being woken up.

“You remember that nasty old man that you served last night? Something happened to him” Elaine said before you interrupted her.

“Oh, I bet he had a shitty night alright.” You said, smiling to yourself.

“No! He’s dead!” Elaine yelled.

“W-What? But—how? I didn’t give him that much, is that even possible?” You sat up in your bed, you started to panic now.

“No, y/n, it wasn’t you, he was attacked by some—large animal it seems. But the craziest part is that his body was ripped in half and strategically placed in the center of Rose Street.” Elaine paused, waiting for your reaction.

Rose Street was the street the bar was on.

“They think it’s an animal because it’s impossible for a human to rip a body in half with so much force like that. But the animal isn’t like a coyote or fox, no it was huge. Y/N...it’s a gruesome scene” Elaine continued.

“His mouth was stuffed with his own shit and that’s the part the police can’t explain. Also, why wouldn’t the animal eat him? All parts of his body were found scattered about.” Elaine spoke without taking a break, words always left her mouth rapidly like wildfire.

You stared at your wall, unable to concentrate. Numerous thoughts ran through your mind at once, but deep down you knew what—or who—it was.

You hated that man, but this was crazy, he was torn apart, his body was mutilated. You knew it was the same animal that followed you that night. Your mind flashed back to the memory of the vivid dream you had last night of Johnny, how his large claws held your throat. You rubbed it as you remembered the feeling.

“Hello?” Elaine asked over the line.

“Y-Yeah. I’m here. I don’t know what to say Elaine, I hated the guy but this is wild. Do the police have any leads?” You finally asked.

“No, the sheriffs department is settled on it being a wild animal attack, but the man was loaded, there’s no way his family don’t have private detectives on the case as we speak. The family want an explanation, and they’re not gonna settle for the wild animal one, especially since things like that don’t just happen here in the city.” Elaine paused.

“Be careful out there, Y/N. The last place he was seen was at the bar so you know there’s gonna be a lot of nosey people around, hell, we’ll probably see the detectives too.”

You were silent. You thought about Johnny. Was he there last night at the bar? Did he see the man put his hands on you? Or was it just coincidence? You had to speak with him, you had to figure out what was going on so your mind could be at peace, because this—this couldn’t possibly be his doing.

“Thank you Elaine, I’ll see you tomorrow” You said and hung up the phone.

You jumped up to get ready, you had to see Johnny now.

_____________________

You walked up to Johnny’s conservatory, looking up at the beautiful building before you.

It still felt so bright and welcoming.

It was busy when you walked in, two tour guides took groups of people around, showing them the trees and flowers around them and explaining what they were, like Johnny explained to you on your one-on-one tour.

Others were sitting with each other at the tables and on the benches, talking and laughing. Some loners were reading books or writing.

It was nice to see such a beautiful place be filled with peaceful people.

“So this is called a dracula simia!” You heard Johnny’s enthusiastic voice to the left. You walked towards the sound.

There he was. The tall man that made you shiver and ache at the same time. He was so handsome. He wore a grey suit and a dark blue bow tie, he looked very dapper today. He smiled brightly as he kneeled down to show a group of small kids a flower.

“Can anyone tell me what it looks like?” He asked as he looked around. God, he was gorgeous. His eyes squinted as he looked on the children fondly.

“It looks mean!” One little boy called out.

Johnny laughed and you felt your heart drop as he place a hand on the back of the child’s head.

“Well, you’re not wrong! But they call it the monkey orchid, because it looks like a monkey!” He said as kids burst out in ooohs and aaahhhs. He nodded and stood up straight, that’s when he saw you.

He completely shifted his attention away from the kids and to you. His smile widened and his eye lines crinkled. He was happy to see you.

“Now, why don’t you kids head to the cafe before part two of the tour!! Who like brownies? Who likes cookies?” Johnny bent down and place his hands on his knees and grinned as the kids cheered.

An older lady, you assumed to be their teacher, then walked up and thanked Johnny as she led the kids to the cafe.

Johnny walked up to you fast. He wanted to hug you but stopped, unsure of whether or not you wanted him to do that.

“It’s nice to see you, y/n, I thought you’d never show” Johnny looked down at you and into your eyes. He always made you weak when he did this and you couldn’t help but think of the way his hands and lips felt on your body in your dream.

The way his eyes watched your chest and your lips.

You had to snap out of it. Remember why you’re here.

“Johnny, we need to talk.” You said firmly, distracting yourself by looking at his bow tie.

“Anything for you, the prettiest person here.” Johnny laughed as he sweet-talked you, but your face stayed straight.

“W-what’s wrong?” Johnny’s eyebrows furrowed and a look of worry covered his face. You took his hand and led him outside, you couldn’t talk about it here, not with all these people around.

“I need to know, how did you find my phone?” You asked once you pulled him into a gazebo that was just outside of the greenhouse.

Johnny suddenly laughed. “that’s what this is about? I was on my way here when I noticed a shiny black object in a field of green grass. It wasn’t difficult to spot” he shrugged his shoulders.

“And how did you know my name?” You pressed on.

Johnny sighed. “Ok..I admit, I did unlock your phone and go through your twitter messages.”

You scoffed. “You invaded my privacy?!”

“I’m sorry, it was really rude of me to do” Johnny placed both hands in front of him in a prayer hand position. “Please forgive me, let’s start over.”

“This doesn’t make any sense. I searched for my phone before I walked in the field.” You looked to the side.

“I don’t believe you! What are you, Johnny?” You finally asked, your mind was going crazy and wouldn’t rest until you got the truth.

Johnny smirked. “I’m just a man that loves his plants, y/n.”

“So you mean to tell me that it wasn’t you that night...you weren’t the one following me?” You asked and watched as Johnny shook his head.

“Do I look like a 9-foot tall animal covered in hair?” He teased.

You paused. Something still didn’t feel right.

“Where were you last night?” You looked up at him and asked.

“Unfortunately, not with you” Johnny walked around you and looked on the fields outside of the gazebo.

“Why? Did you miss me? Did you dream of me?”

Your eyes flashed up to him. The last thing you wanted to do was mention your wet dream that featured him. He turned to face you.

“What’s this really about, y/n?” He put his hands in his pants pockets and leaned back on the wood. He was growing impatient.

“There was a man that was murdered last night, he—he harassed me at the bar and then a few hours later, he was killed..he was ripped apart” You said in a low tone.

“And you think I had something to do with that?” Johnny asked as he folded his arms over his chest.

You wanted to think that he had nothing to do with it, but you just couldn’t, your instinct told you otherwise.

“I-I’m just asking where you were” you stepped towards him.

Johnny scoffed, surprised by the fact that you thought he may have been involved in this somehow. “I was at home..watching Golden Girls, happy?”

You closed your eyes, you just needed to breathe and let it go. Johnny was nice, he didn’t do anything wrong and he answered your questions. It was time for you to start treating him nicely.

“I’m—sorry Johnny, there’s just a lot going on right now.” You turned away from him, holding back tears, you felt like you were slowly losing your mind and you didn’t know why.

In a matter of hours you felt love, lust, fear, pain, doubt and it was all too much. You held yourself in your arms. You felt goosebumps all over when you pictured the man from last night and how his mutilated body must’ve looked like.

“Let me help you, lets get something to eat, my treat for being an ass and going through your phone” Johnny said as he walked up to you and rubbed your back. He was so loving, always willing to help others, and here you were, trying to make a villain out of him.

You turned to face him with tears eyes, “that would be nice.”

The two of you headed into the cafe section of the greenhouse.

“What’s your favorite soup?” Johnny asked endearingly.

“Broccoli Cheddar” you responded as you sat down.

“Perfect, that’s the soup of the day!” Johnny clapped his hands together and headed to the chef. You watched as the little kids ran around the greenhouse. They were so cute and small, so innocent, you couldn’t help but smile and laugh.

“It’s nice to see your smile again” Johnny placed the bowl down in front of you.

“Thank you” You nodded and picked the spoon up.

“So..Golden Girls? Really?” You asked after taking a sip.

Johnny laughed out as he watched you.

“Hey! It’s a good show”

You shrugged. “To each their own, you just don’t seem like that kind of person”

“I mean old women are pretty funny.” Johnny stopped when a little girl ran up to him.

You nodded. “True”

Johnny went on to tell you about the cute elementary school kids that were on a field trip. He was always excited when he got the chance to talk about flowers and plants.

You chatted about the movies and shows you liked. You were a superhero movie fan and he was a horror movie fan so you both agreed to see Brightburn together.

“Wait, So is this our first date?” Johnny asked giddily.

You scrunched your nose and laughed. “Do we have to put titles on things? Also, you’re moving pretty fast Johnny.” You teased and watched his smile grow.

“But you didn’t say no though” he retorted.

You laughed. “Okay, okay you win, it’s a date.”

“Mr. Suh! Mr. Suh!” A little girl from the group he was leading ran up to him.

“Yes, Zena?” He asked sweetly as he turned to her.

“We wanna see the roses! I gotta bring one home to my mom!” She said, a bit out of breath because she was running around so much.

“Okay! I’ll be right there to help you get the brightest and more beautifulest ones” he was such a sweetheart, you couldn’t stop your heart from falling.

“Well, I gotta go” Johnny said with a pout as he stood up.

“Thank you for this” you smiled and took his hand that reached out to help you up.

He suddenly winced in pain once he held your hand. You swore you heard a light burning sound.

“Shit, are you okay?” You asked as you watched him hold his hand.

“Yes, ha ha, I’m fine, just a cut I forgot I had, I think your ring may have dug into it” He quietly whined.

“I’m so sorry” you said as you looked at the silver ring you completely forgot you put on that morning.

“Let me take a look” you said but Johnny quickly stepped back and smiled.

“I’m fine, it’s no big deal.” Johnny laughed.

“Anyway, I’ll be seeing you soon, y/n. And now you have my number, call me whenever you’d like.”

You smiled and nodded before heading out.

You couldn’t help but think about how weird his reaction was, how he wouldn’t let you touch him.

But you shook your head and took a deep breath. Things were finally starting to calm down, you didn’t need to overthink anything.

——————

When you finally reached your apartment, you changed into a large shirt and shorts. You were about to go into your bed when you saw something on your floor. You bent down to get a closer look and noticed that it was a shirt, a white t-shirt and a belt.

You got ready so quickly, you must have overlooked it earlier.

The gold buckle is what stuck out to you. It was the same belt Johnny wore in your dream.

Impossible. It was just a dream.

But you looked at the items and recalled when he took them off and threw them across your room in your dream. He had never been in your room before and none of your roommates had boys over. Even if they did, they wouldn’t just leave their clothes in your room.

You shuddered as you thought about your dream.

Was it real after all?

[precuredaily]

Precure Day 184

Episode: Yes! Precure 5 36 - “Go for the Goal! Marathon Race” Date watched: 13 May 2020 Original air date: 14 October 2007 Screenshots: https://imgur.com/a/hrE6zQT Transformation Gallery: https://imgur.com/a/6k6SzS0 Project info and master list of posts: http://tinyurl.com/PCDabout

Gamabunta is that you?

This show has been on a pretty good run lately. We had the vacation arc, haunted school, our festival fun, a day in the life of Urara, some romantic developments, Rin entering the wedding industry, and Karen as a knight. The defeats of Girinma and Arachnea were both suitably epic and inspiring. Well forget all that because it’s a Gamao episode and in true Gamao form, he ruins any goodwill we may have had for him. He can’t even do a last chance black mask monster transformation episode well. Let’s take a look.

The Plot

Cinq Lumieres Academy is having an all-grade level 4 kilometer race, and Nozomi is trying to get out of participating, but Rin keeps insisting she practice. Rin doesn’t have a lot of time TO practice with Nozomi, between her responsibilities to the Futsal Club and having to tend to the family store. More on this later, because it’s time to flimsily set up Nightmare’s scheme this episode.

Gamao is sitting on a bench when he’s approached by Kawarino. Gamao begs the senior executive for a management position at Nightmare but Kawarino remarks that his accomplishments so far amount to nothing. He says maybe he could change his mind if he were to obtain the Dream Collet, and considers giving Gamao the black paper, but decides not to before he disappears. However, Gamao discovers that Girinma "accidentally” left it behind for him, and is convinced he’ll be able to get into upper management. As he runs off to enact his plan, Kawrino reappears and snidely remarks to himself that he doesn’t have much faith in the frog.

We return to Nozomi and Rin’s running practice A few key shots of Rin show that she’s extremely tired but pressing on, because she really wants to repeat her first place title from last year. Karen notices this and decides that they should all join in the practice, so the next day when they run the practice course, all five girls and even Coco and Nuts are present. They begin to climb to a hill that could rival anything in San Francisco, and Nozomi starts to give up, but as she stops to encourage her friend, Rin succumbs to fatigue and collapses.

Everyone gets Rin back to Natts House and when she’s feeling better, she opens up to Nozomi, saying she wanted to do for Nozomi what Nozomi did for her when they were in elementary school. We flash back to a time in their youth when the school had a race, and Rin was the favorite to win, but she tripped and fell and almost gave up running entirely until Nozomi caught up to her and encouraged her to finish the race together. Nozomi promises to do her best in the race for Rin’s sake.

It’s important to note that the route for this race leaves the Cinq Lumieres campus and gets into the town (which I am realizing has never been named). There are signs along the route that point the way, and Gamao has taken a position as a sign holder at a junction. When he sees the Precures coming, he turns the sign to divert them off the route away from the other students, and when he has them all gathered in a dead end forest, he turns the ground into a beyblade arena crater and makes his presence known. When they naturally refuse to hand over the Dream Collet, he transforms and so do they. He tries to mow them over like Tasmanian Devil, zooming around the pit like fat beyblade.

I’m not kidding that’s his plan

The Precures are understandably tired as they’ve been running, but after he mocks them for running for no reason, Dream gets riled up and retorts that trying hard at something isn’t pointless at all, and then they all kick his ass. He pulls out his black paper, but clearly he wasn’t aware of the side effects when it latches onto his face and turns him giant. Now a giant, mindless toad monster, he leaps into the air and comes crashing down on Lemonade, Mint, and Aqua. He smooshes Rouge as well, and then tries to attack the fairies, who are watching from the edge of the pit.

Dream manages to catch his tongue before he can hurt them, and the other Cures emerge, one beneath each foot, lifting him up and throwing him into the wall. With Milk’s help, they summon the Symphony Set and perform Precure Five Explosion, finishing Gamao off once and for all. He will not be missed.

They make their way back to the race route and realize as they turn back into the school grounds that they’re in last place, ruining Rin’s chances at a repeat victory. However, she’s happy enough that she gets to finish together with her friends, just like she did all those years ago. Nozomi declares a race to the finish and sprints across the finish line ahead of everyone else as the episode closes out.

The Analysis

As you may have gathered from my introduction, I don’t have a very high opinion on this episode. Sure, it has some nice character beats, but it doesn’t introduce anything new or build on any facets we haven’t seen before, except to give us another reason why Nozomi and Rin are close friends. It’s not offensively bad or anything, I don’t think there’s any episodes that I outright hate in this franchise, but it’s bottom tier for this show. There’s very little narrative payoff to Rin’s plot in the episode. She overworked herself to the point of collapsing to motivate Nozomi, and ultimately Nozomi did internalize the importance of the race from Rin’s perspective, which she repeated during the battle. It’s nice but I’ve grown to expect more meaningful declarations during these pivotal villain defeat episodes than “I helped her as a kid and she wants to help me now.” The whole point of Five Explosion is a manifestation that they’re stronger together than apart, but this episode isn’t about the full team’s unity, so it falls flat. If it hadn’t been Gamao’s send-off I might have liked it a smidge better, or if it had been Hadenya attacking instead, or even Bunbee, then it may have made sense.

Moving over to Gamao, for a black mask final battle, this fell far short of what Girinma and Arachnea put the girls through. He didn’t seem any more threatening than a strong Kowaina, he only really got in one attack on the girls as a monster before they took him down with Five Explosion. He had a pretty cool effect of being so massive and fast that he generated really fast air currents but they didn’t do any damage to anyone. This battle is a ton of wasted potential. The best part of the fight was actually before he used the black mask. Spinning around the arena like he did was clever, and it worked better than just about anything else he’s ever done. Gamao’s shortfalling is that he’s lazy and shortsighted, he wants to take the easy way out, his plans amount to simply beating the girls up and that’s it. Compare this to Bloody from the previous episode, who nearly talked Nuts into just handing it over, and well, Gamao comes out of this unfavorably. About the only good thing I can say about him is that his black mask form looks really cool, and it’s huger than any we’ve seen so far. I really wish they’d used it more. If they’d swapped him out with Girinma in episodes 23-24 I would have liked that a lot more, it would give Gamao a better sendoff and it feels more appropriate that the weakest villain is the first to go. Alas.

Lastly, the art quality in this episode is in the toilet and that might be the biggest factor in making it seem underwhelming. The characters appear grossly deformed and oddly proportioned a lot.

Even when they’re kicking Gamao’s ass in the fight, which is a series of dynamic still frames, the quality is poor. There’s a shot when Coco and Nuts step in to announce that they’ll be running with the girls, and their models just bounce into the frame like they leaped into the air and landed, rather than stepping. It was bad and kind of hilarious by the same token.

This episode feels like an afterthought on both the writing and animation standpoint. The last few have been so-so in visual quality and if you’ve been following along, you know that’s normal for this point in the show, and of course it’s nowhere near as bad as Max Heart could get, but this is an episode that should have had weight to it, and to see it squandered like this makes me sad.

On the upside I will say I enjoy the little back and forth between Nozomi and Milk, ever butting heads. Milk tells Nozomi that they can all do their best in the practice run, while sitting comfortably in Nuts’s bag being kind of a slouch herself. It was amusing.

Speaking of slouches, Coco probably should go for more runs, because next episode he’s putting on some weight after eating a diet of nothing but cream puffs. Look forward to more on that!

Pink Precure Catchphrase Count: 0 Kettei!

P.S. dear Pretty Cure Splash Subs: your meme subs are not funny.

[siobhanreviewsmovies]

Siobhan Reviews Movies: the 2019 Re-review

we may be a month and a half into 2020, and maybe at the end of this cinematic year I’ll actually do this on new years. But anyway. It’s very obvious when you read a few of the reviews that my rating system is based on how I’m feeling about the movie as I sit through the credits. Because that’s when I write the reviews. But my dad gave me an idea yesterday - to rank all of the movies against each other, to come up with a better rating system. So here goes, I guess.

29: Dora and the Lost City of Gold

I saw this with my friend for my birthday, which was a mistake, but in our defense, there actually wasn’t anything else on, and it’s a tradition. The big problem was that we weren’t the target audience, but then, we couldn’t work out who the target audience actually was. 

Original Score: 4/10 New Score: Also 4/10. (not actually bad enough to beat the lowest score on here, transformers 5, the one with the knights of the round table story line)

28: Alita: Battle Angel

I saw it twice, and I regretted it both times. I regretted it so much the second time that I actually downgraded my rating. It was that bad.And now, I’m going to downgrade the rating again.

First Score: 6/10 (What was I thinking?) Second Score: 5/10 New Score: 4/10

27: Dumbo

I don’t even really know why I went to see Dumbo. I’ve never been a Disney fan. I don’t even think I’ve seen the original Dumbo. It was a cg horror-show, and not in the fun way. Sometimes you should just leave movies as the original 2D animation. 

Original Score: 6/10 New Score: 4/10

26: Maleficent: Mistress of Evil

Again with the disney movies. I actually enjoyed the maleficent movie. it was nice. But the second? it was weird and unnecessary. The only redeeming feature was Michelle Pfieffer.

Original Score: 6/10 New Score: 5/10 (I mean, it was pretty, so it had that going for it)

25: It Chapter 2

I’ve never been that much of a Steven King fan. But some of his movies are decent. It Chapter 2 was decent. But it was weird. I kinda like my horrors on the non-alien-clown-side of weird, thanks.

Original Score: 5.5/10 New Score: 5/10

24: Fast and Furious: Hobbs and Shaw

I mean, they should really stop with the fast and furious films. They really should. It was enjoyable, as long as you suspended your disbelief at EVERY SINGLE PART OF THE MOVIE. They’ve decided to go straight into actual scifi, with no reason why.

Original Score: 5/10 New Score: 5/10

23: Pet Sematary

You know what I said about Steven King movies? Same deal, but at least Pet Sematary was coherent. To an extent. It still had that weird, second story-line that wasn’t resolved. 

Original Score: 7/10 New Score: 5.5/10

22: Avengers Endgame

I gave it a high score on the day, but it wasn’t that great. It was... a big screen spectacle where they didn’t actually put that much effort into making it make sense. which was sad. But anyway, now I’m only going to watch Thor movies. I like Thor movies.

Original Score: 8/10 New Score: 6/10

21: Aladdin

It was really pretty, and really lovely. Was it an outstanding movie? nah. 

Original Score: 8/10 New Score: 6/10

20: How to Train Your Dragon 3

It really bugged me that the light fury was feminised when literally none of the other dragons were. It was like “how do we show that this character is a love interest and not just another character?” But other than that, it was a decent movie. 

Original Score: 7/10 New Score: 6.5/10

19: Rocketman

I think, in my head, I was trying to compare Rocketman to Bohemian Rhapsody the whole movie. I tried not to, but alas, sometimes it’s difficult not to compare similar movies. Anyway I liked it, but I felt weird watching a biopic about someone who helped make it. I can’t really explain it.

Original Score: 6.5/10 New Score: 6.5/10 

18: Godzilla: King of Monsters 

It was a monster movie. It was pretty. There’s not actually much to say besides that. 

Original score: 7/10 New Score: 6.5/10

17: Spider-Man: Far From Home

Look, it was pretty enjoyable, and I really liked Jake Gyllanhal as Mysterio

Original Score: 7.5/10 New Score: 7/10

16: Charlies Angels

The new Charlie’s Angels was fun. it wasn’t necessarily well written, but it had the same appeal as a fast and furious movie. It was action packed, it was cheesy, it was fun. I’m looking forward to more movies like it.

Original Score: 8/10 New Score: 7.5/10

15:  MIB International

It was silly, it was ridiculous, it had aliens. MIB International was everything I wanted.

Original Score: 8/10 New Score: 7.5/10

14:  Hellboy

I know I’m supposed to not be comparing movies to other movies, but I was hard pressed not comparing the new Hellboy to Guillermo Del Toro’s early 2000s movies. Which I love dearly. It was violent and gruesome, and sat about even with the old ones, but for different reasons. 

Original Score: 8/10 New Score: 8/10

13: Black Christmas

I’ll always watch a movie that frames the american college sorority/fraternity system as a cult. Especially if it has aesthetic.

Original Score: 7/10 New Score: 8/10

12: John Wick 3

John Wick 3 was funny. And it was pretty. What more do you need from a hyper-violent action movie?

Original Score: 8/10 New Score: 8/10

11: Yesterday

Yesterday was a really lovely movie. it was a beautiful feelgood movie, but not in the lame way.

Original Score: 8.5/10 New Score: 8.5/10

10: Detective Pikachu

I re-watched detective pikachu today. Man I love that movie. It’s sweet and funny.

Original Score: 8.5/10 New Score: 8.5/10

9: Captain Marvel

Despite how much I’m starting to dislike marvel, I really did like Captain Marvel. Probably because, if you ignored the links they put in to prove that it’s part of a franchise, it could actually stand alone. 

Original Score: 10/10 New Score: 8.5/10

8: The Lego Movie 2

YOu know when movies self reference, or reference other movies, and it’s super annoying? The Lego Movie 2 did those things, but in a not annoying way. It a “this is really stupid but in an enjoyably way” kind of way.

Original Score: 10/10 New Score: 8.5/10

7:  Zombieland 2: Double Tap

So it was a shameless cash in on a very fun movie, but that didn’t make it less enjoyable.

Original Score: 9/10 New Score: 8.5/10

6: Scary Stories to Tell in the Dark

I’ve heard that Scary Stories wasn’t actually super well received, but I really enjoyed it. It had everything in it that I wanted to see, which is really all I need from a movie.

Original Score: 10/10

New Score: 9/10 (Okay, so it does need to go down just a little bit, since it’s number 6 on the list.)

5: Knives Out

In a year of sequels and franchises, Knives out was a refreshingly original movie. A whodunnit where you thought you knew who the killer was for 70% of the movie. With interesting characters who all got what they deserved. It was awesome.

Original Score: 8/10 New Score: 9/10

4: JoJo Rabbit

I don’t watch war movies, as a rule. JoJo Rabbit is an exception. And a brilliant one. They managed to make light of very, very dark subjects,but not in a way that trivialised any of them. Nothing felt trivial in JoJo Rabbit, despite the comedic take. It was beautifully done.

Original Score: 9/10 New Score: 9.5/10

3: Happy Death Day 2 U

The perfect sequel to the perfect groundhog-day-slasher-flick. and I say that with all the love in my heart. I’ve watched Happy Death Day and its sequel so many times. They just makes me so happy. 

Original Score: 9/10 New Score: 9.5/10

2: Us

Us was my number one movie of the year until Ready or Not came along in all its slasher flick glory. It ticked all of the boxes: compelling story, beautiful cinematography, and outstanding acting. It deserves every award, if only they’d give the big awards to genre films, which they don’t, for some reason.

Original Score: 10/10 New Score: 10/10 (even if it’s not my favourite movie of the year, it’s my second favourite still) 

1: Ready or Not

Genuinely the most fun movie I saw this year. The aesthetics were great, the action was amazing, and the story line was coherent. I was laughing with impressed glee the entire movie.

Original Score: 10/10

New Score: 10/10

[eekispyykes]

Mr Sparklepuff Feline Obituary 5.1.2020/Abridged

Mr Puffs 4-2002-  5-1-2020

by Michael Bench

Mr Puffs was an excellent friend and adventurous hiker. He loved to be outdoors. A ferocious mouser ; he did an arc'ing jump on mice and chipmunks from 2 clumps of brush away. The porch frankly stank from all his gifts. An amazing climber and very fast sprinter crossing a square acre in about 3.5sec. Some would ask why he was named as such and close friends know the whole story. A primary point was so people had a good vibe about him and would let him be. In the past two years  he had cancer of the face that spread. He had been treated with surgery to remove the tumor. At a shade over 18yo, he set to rest as every night he was shivvering in normal home temp and couldn't keep weight on; refusing to leave the couch; hating being put in pet clothes/infant flannel.

2017-2020 were tough years for him adjusting to a new stray friend we “adopted” from the wild. They were startingn to get along. It played into the stress.I feel bad about this. it split us up somewhat.  My younger cat was more forceful about claiming me. It weighs on me; Frankly it seemed like a few rape attempts also that difficulted the social cue of ‘normal cat spooning”.. Mr Puffs was able to get out on a van ride of Fogelsville,PA about three months ago. He also gave some love to his plush hedgehog toy. He gave it a consensual drilling every once a while or daily.

What you should know about Mr Puffs:

:My grilling deputy  and trout inspector

:Loved to play the mysterious thing under blanket or newspaper game

:Love to play the mysterious tapping fingers under the many basement stairs game

:Fine taste in music and loved being my karaoke fan. Love you buddy. Not very keen on Tv after Keenan Michael Keys left Animal  Planet's morning show.

:Enjoyed less usual faire like potatoes and adored bbq chicken pizza; he could handle medium wings. He WAS WARNED each time and kept him away from it till it was obvious he wanted it. Honey ham, turkey, .. and salami**. Mind you, he has never been overweight and was complimented by his first vet for muscle tone. It's his compliment to own.

:Enjoyed jumping apartment building gaps while in town: we had to rough it for a month in a storage facility after an unexpected eviction.. which we then would go for walks 1a-3a to get his exercise and water the landscape mulch at 11th street Fred Meyers. There's a little marsh back behind the store that became our little daytime haven.

:His Hiking career started in Eugene, OR. We would go night walking ,w/o a leash and whenever someone was coming he would detour off the sidewalk and into the nearest house’s bushes.. This was optimal because he would get back on the lit sidewalk and learn to keep course. This advanced to 5-7 mile hikes from U Oregon campus to Hendrix park and back. One trip such trip he was panting so he didn’t really want to run away anywhere or into traffic fortunately.. The sun had come out of the cloud cover and heated things up above the usual. We stopped at an icecream place on the way back on the edge of campus: Agate and 19th. Even though he was tired, he was a smart and collected guy. so he slinked to the back of the shop till I came back out..It was like escorting the supermodel of manly cats.  It was at this time I knew leashes or more distant locations were necessary.  

:While we were driving back to Pennsylvania, he decided to have a playfrenzy on the dashboard while I was in heavy traffic nearabouts of Nebraska/Rushmore on the interstate.

:Short story : Since he now had room in the yard to runaround Puffs tested his speed and momentum to get up tree trunks. Our front yard had a medium sized maple oak something. Mr Puffs ran up the tree and alarmed a family of nesting doves. The doves and Mr Puffs seemed to flee the tree foilage each in horizontal directions at about 8ft off the ground.  

:Other than a shoulder injury from a fight of somesort, he was very durable. His parent's owners had coined him 'Jaco” after the famous bass player.. A green -eyed Russian Blue tuxedo, angular white paws.  with little white hairs across his coat. At times I also referred to him as “Cactus Jack”. Massive front incisors like a miniature sabertooth. I pitied the rabbits who he caught which were still squealing.

:Another Short Story. I coaxed my mom to live a little and put that front addition on the house she always wanted. She got an enclosed porch. Theres an open porch on the back of the house also. When the framing was done.. I went out to the backyard to enjoy the night sky, I heard nothing. When I turned around I had two bright eyes scaring me  to the ground. From 9ft, the top of the roof porch he looked at me Apparently Puffs had climbed the 8ft of framing from the work table, crossed the rafters, crossed the whole house roof and decided to voyeur me on the other side of the house. I was very glad he didn't tempt the electric lines whose pole he had tried to climb other days.Stressing moments on me as well.

:Puffs became a pro at taking baths since 2017, and getting nails trimmed at the same time. The trim helped him jump (getting pad purchase)  and helped the furniture too.

:Another quick story. Cats can swim. I took him to go swimming in the creek and that went pretty good the first time. (Must always be on leash. And probably use partially inflated swimmy muscle). He was really comfortable in the water if it was shallow(2.5ft). The problem with the creek is its near a road so don't be near roads even with the leash on.  He was swimming a good crawl in about 4ft.  A fish mustve brushed his foot because he panicked and started jumping out of the water like a bass on a hook. I literally had to swing him in the air (with leash) and onto the shore into some leaves and grass. There's some fault in not being close enough to him to pick him up out of the water directly. He swam pretty good and at range.  To ease that trauma.. (nearly heart attack probably; that went sour) , I let him calm down. At a much shallower area no taller than his knees(5-6”) I set him into the stream without much resentment and just petted him to get him calm.  (He wasn't a lap cat before that either.) At that point the swimming  got shuttered for downhill walks and other casual stuff.

: On similar climbing points.. even till about 2015, he liked to jump the gap from the upright piano top (4ft) to the top of the entertainment center (7.5 ft) plus the hallway gap of  3.5 ft and he was really solid at it. Would stay up there for a while and then jump down onto the sofa table (3 ft tall).. He was always calculating a new feat. When that one item stopped being in his wheelhouse it was clear he was getting bothered/ annoyed and the stress of a cat territory issue wore him down.

If you were to be near him, you'd end up watching him. This statue of a male cat with really long tail. Not lemur-long but really long.. a gray panther. And, maybe you'd try to pet him since he looked inviting. Yet, you wouldn't get much petting done. He'd probably tolerate two brushes and then give your hand a carving with his claws, hiss at you and find a new place to observe the room,  That said, he would cruise the neighborhood looking which apartment I might've visited, slink in and check out how other people decorated. A very dignified personality, sometimes to the point of indignant.  He was  a cat you'd want to clone over and over because he was just that cool on himself. Cloning him was on the slate too until those type of businesses were closed with political force.. He actually inspired a jazz song  (currently in midi form) that I’ve yet to record. I was tore up about his first cancer surgery so I started writing. Hope that will be out soon enuff. I hope this can help you appreciate Mr Puffs. He was buried at a spot he chose. It was nearby a set of brush he would choose to hide in hours near the middle of  hikes.

.. he loved to hide.  Back in Oregon I'd take him  in the van with my mentally handicapped clients. He'd be set loose to get his relaxation in. By the time it was time to leave. he wanted to stay. He hid in bushes and culverts. I learned very quickly that such outings had to be local or I'd be driving back hours to go get him at night or worse. Once I knew that, we'd take rides on the bus to the edges of the bus line and just chill on hills overlooking boating lakes. Fern Ridge Reservoir had a nice pine overlook off Territorial hwy.  He really enjoyed outings and variety. Maybe thats what kept him interested as a matter of longevity. I want to end on that.  He showed me lessons in best intentions and good in the bad.. and murdering all my Egyptian spiny mice within hours of acquiring them and their replacements. Its not like I wouldn't have gotten him a feeder mouse but there were plenty stinking up the walkway as it was. I'm blessed to have spent that month sheltered in a renta-shed with him. It seems the alternative .. without having enough for a pet deposit elsewhere (that moment) was to lower my standards for the landlords daughter and by whatever 'influence' she had. 'evicted us for periodic renovations”. So, eventually we chose instead to leave and he got a brims of fieldmice, chipmunks and forest romping. I hope that was an appreciated choice. He liked city life too. Should you choose to tribute to Mr Puffs, I welcome it. He’d be the type of cat Dos Equis beer would be looking for if he actually drank it.

Hope you’re feeling better, Puffs; BFF 

[blueboxesandtrafficcones]

Affairs of the Heart - Chapter 5

Our last chapter!  Thank you for joining me on this journey - I’ve so enjoyed this little story!  Never fear though - this is only the first story in a planned series set in this universe under the umbrella ‘Hardy Investigations’.  Story #2 eta: 2020.

Many thanks to @stupidsatsuma for her beta’ing!  Y’all have NO IDEA how much she puts up with me, haha.

General warnings: mature content, occasional language.  (Canon[ish]) Cheating by secondary characters.

Masterlist

Summary

September 1948 - Mrs. Mark Latimer hires Hardy Investigations to find out if her husband is having an affair, requiring some duplicity and ingenuity to find the truth as they go undercover.

They raced for the car, Ellie beating him there and climbing into the driver’s seat.  “Come on!”

“Where do you think she went?” he asked rhetorically.  “She could’ve gone for a walk.”

“Car was gone.  I know where she’s headed.”  She peeled out onto the road, speeding through town to the High Street where Trader’s was situated.

Alec glanced at her in confusion.  “You think she went to confront Becca?”

“Without a doubt.  If Mark’s there I’m sure he’ll get an earful, but she’ll blame the mistress.”

Pulling into the lot at the hotel she ran towards the front entrance, Alec's long legs easily outpacing her.  Even as she opened the door the sound of glass smashing was audible.  He pushed in front of her as they entered, throwing an arm out to keep her behind him.

A tiny bar sat just off the main lobby, and this was where Mrs. Latimer was trashing the place.  “He’s my husband!” she yelled, throwing another wine glass at the floor.  Becca Fisher was cowering in the corner with the local reverend, and the irate wife had made quite a mess for having only a minute or two’s head start.

“What the hell’s going on here?” Mark Latimer burst into the room, not paying Alec and Ellie any attention as he caught sight of his wife.  Going stock still for only a moment, he moved forward carefully as one would approach a wounded wild animal.  “Beth?  What’re you doing?”

“You!  You bastard!”  She threw a brandy snifter at his head, which he ducked easily.  “How could you?  How could you do this to me!  To our children!  You selfish, arrogant, brute of a wanker!”  Out of glasses to throw Mrs. Latimer sagged to her knees, tears running down her cheeks.  “I loved you.  Why wasn’t I enough?”

“Oh, Beth.”  Still moving slowly he crouched in front of her, resting his hand on her back for only a moment before she shrugged it off.  “Sweetheart-”

“Don’t.”  Her head snapped up, righteous fury burning in her gaze.  “Don’t you dare.  You’ve made a fool of me!”

“You’re making a fool of yourself,” Becca ventured, untwisting from where she huddled in the debris.  “You’re the one throwing a fit in a public space.”

Mrs. Latimer let out a primal scream, turning as she rose and lunged at the other woman.  Her husband caught her round the waist and held her back, even as she tried to kick and flail her way free.

“How’d you even know?”

“I hired a detective to follow you,” she snarled.

Mr. Latimer and Becca’s eyes met before they both slowly turned to look at Alec and Ellie lingering in the doorway, Ellie waving sheepishly when they were spotted.

“Mrs. Latimer, please?” Alec spoke quietly, gesturing.  “Can you join us in the other room?”

Sniffling the woman nodded, shaking free of her husband’s grip and taking a moment to straighten her skirt and spine, holding her head high as she stepped carefully around the glass.  As soon as she was near enough Ellie wrapped her arm around her shoulders, guiding her across the lobby to the library.

Once they were in Alec shut the doors, affording them a semblance of privacy as the women sat on the loveseat together.

“I’m so glad you took that well,” Ellie started conversationally, “I was worried you might fly off the handle.”

That earned her a laugh and a sniffle, as Mrs. Latimer wiped her eyes.  “I was overcome with rage.”

“I understand, but you realize why this was a terrible idea, no?”  Alec settled on the coffee table in front of the women, sighing softly.  “I assure you, we both are intimately familiar with the pain you’re feeling right now.  But the best thing you can do, for yourself and your children, is pull it together.  If you’re going to leave him, do it.  If not, find a way past this, but know that if he did it once he’ll do it again.”

“How did you find out?”  The grieving woman looked up from where she stared at her hands.  “I mean, you didn’t give me many details.  What- How long-”

Ellie patted her forearm reassuringly.  “We found out where and when they would meet, and put ourselves in their path.  Obviously they didn’t know who we were, and were quite willing to share a number of personal details.  After, we followed them to the bluff where we took the photos.”

“What did you do?”  Mrs. Latimer turned to Ellie, eyes pleading.

“How do you mean?”

“I presume your husband- well, he said-”

Ellie swallowed harshly; though the pain had faded, the memory still ached.  “Yes.  He was working in London during the war as a medic, and… found comfort in someone else while there.”

“What did you do?  How did you find out?”

The memory flashed before her eyes as if it had only been the day before.  “Alec- I was his secretary then as well, though we were both part of the war effort- had business in London.  While there, he spotted Joe kissing another woman.  It was, in his words, undeniable.  Came home, told me.  I wrecked his office, so I understand your need to take it out on the glassware.”

“Did you confront him?”

Ellie shook her head, smiling sadly.  “No. I planned to, on his next visit home, but he was killed in a bombing before he could.  It took time, but eventually I saw it as the blessing it was – he had someone to care for him in his last weeks.  I never found out who she was, and I wouldn’t say I’d thank her, but… I think any happiness stolen in the midst of the Blitz is a good thing.”

“You’re a better woman than I am,” Mrs. Latimer sighed, staring down at her wedding rings again.  “I just want to claw her eyes out.”

“Obviously.  But cooler heads must prevail; you want to give them no cause to use against you in the divorce proceedings.”

The other woman slumped back on the sofa, unseeing eyes focused on the ceiling.  “I suppose.  Erm, can I stop by your offices later this week to settle the bill?  The next few days may be hectic, I suspect.”

“Take until Monday next,” Alec agreed, rising.  “We will have everything fully prepared for your lawyer; if you hire one in the meantime, give him our name so as to coordinate the handover of the evidence.”

“Thank you.”  Mrs. Latimer climbed to her feet, looking tired, though the fire that had been lit in her by rage still sparked beneath the surface.  “Truly.”

“Good luck.”  On impulse Ellie gave her a hug that was happily reciprocated, even as Alec let out a heavy sigh behind them.

Letting go Ellie moved towards the door to the room, Alec a step behind her with his hand on the small of her back.  Sweeping the door open she found Mr. Latimer and Becca loitering in the hall.

“Well?” the man snapped, glaring between them.  “What nonsense have you put in her head?”

Alec drew himself to his full height, and despite his slim frame still cut an imposing figure.  “Nothing but the truth. I suggest you speak to your wife.”

They exited the inn without incident, though this time he settled behind the wheel, Ellie curled up to his side as he drove back to the office.

“Don’t bother,” she said once they were on the road, smirking slightly up at his frown.  “I liked her, and she needed a hug.”

“Every time Ellie!  They’re clients, not friends,” he complained, even as he wrapped his left arm around her shoulder.  “Stop treating them as such.”

Ellie blew a raspberry, earning herself a scowl.  “I shall if I want to.  Our differences in approach, that’s what makes us a good team, or so you say.  Well, a team when it doesn’t come to my salary.”

His unimpressed look made her giggle and press her lips to his cheeks.

“Anyway-” he changed the subject abruptly, only to further amuse her, “I made the reservations for this weekend.  Three nights in the Cotswolds.”

“What’d you do that for?”

He glanced down at her, raising an eyebrow before beginning to laugh.  “You forgot.”

“No I didn’t!” she protested, though it rang hollow as she had, indeed, forgotten.  “But tell me anyway.”

“El…”

“It’s not a birthday,” Ellie scrunched her nose in thought as he parked the car in their designated spot, following him out the driver’s side door.

“No, it’s not,” he agreed, shaking his head as they headed up the path arm in arm.  “Another year or two of you forgetting this and my feelings’ll start to be hurt.”

Eyes widening in horror she stopped dead in front of the sliding door, remaining there after he opened them.

“D’you remember now?”

His irritatingly smug expression made her whack the back of her hand at his stomach, finally entering the office.  “Sod off.”

“We can’t even do this right,” Alec chuckled, tugging her with him as he walked backwards towards the bedroom.  “Aren’t I the one meant to forget every year?”

“Oh, I’m grateful you don’t,” she reassured him, “Joe certainly did enough.  I am sorry, though.  I can’t believe it’s been three years.”

They collided in front of the bed, and he dipped his head to hers as his fingers reached for the buttons on her shirt.  The kisses remained soft and gentle as they undressed each other, only deepening once they sank to the mattress together.

“I love you, Alec Hardy,” Ellie whispered, smoothing his fringe out of his face as he hovered above her.

He lowered himself to her, and they let out twin sighs of delight as they were pressed together from head to toe, warm flesh meeting and melding effortlessly.  Kissing her he slipped his tongue between her lips even as he entered her body, nuzzling her nose with his once he was fully seated inside her.

“I love you too, Ellie Hardy.  Happy wedding anniversary.”

“To many more,” she smiled, wrapping her limbs around him as he began to move.

To outsiders they made a strange pair, too dissimilar to make a happy marriage, but when commented on Ellie would just shrug and grin.

“C’est une affaire de coeur.”

[the-coconut-asado]

Food Wars in Wrigglesbrook

First they took our longhauls. Then they came for the short hops. But even in the slapped backside that has been 2020, they will never take our inalienable right to go somewhere, eat something and smugly share the ‘gram. 

So while Vietnam in May and Galway in July are memories we are yet to make, booking a 19th century Romany caravan on the Welsh borders in September became the one we did.

In a normal year we wouldn’t have noticed you could stay in a Romany caravan near Wales or anywhere else for that matter,  but once you start googling you can find all sorts of ways to spend your refunds from BA: sleep with horses in Yorkshire - £250 a night for an aluminium frame bunk bed, the smell of manure and night terrors from Red Rum licking your face; or a yurt in Somerset - I’ve seen too many disgruntled Four in a Bed contestants to think this is a good idea. But the idea of cosying up in an olde worlde caravan next to an open fire and a babbling brook? You have my attention. 

The open fire and cooking pot were especially attractive as we weren’t expecting to have any memorable dining out experiences. For one thing, you never knew when the next lockdown was coming, so that Rule of Six could very quickly become a takeaway pasty on the A414; and on the other, we had yet to have a pub grub meal anywhere in the UK that gave us that irresistible string of emoji drools. We expected ‘ok’ but not OMG - so we started planning a trip for the local farm shop once we arrived and felt more Chevy Chase than the opening of National Lampoon’s vacation. 

Then we did arrive, ravenous, and resumed our Trip Advisor habit with a vengeance. 

At this point I should mention that this is a true story but names have been changed to protect the innocent. 

We knew that there was a pub within walking distance, but here’s the thing about Trip Advisor: you have to read between the lines. Too many effusive yet vague 5 stars and you start to suspect critical faculties are low; people complaining about a mardy waiter but grudgingly acknowledging the silky gnocchi may be worth closer inspection. Measured against these criteria  we were intrigued by the reviews for our local. It seemed like the food really was delicious (the degree of description, particularly of the game pie, was forensic), but that we may have a Basil and Sybil Fawlty on our hands. People talked of fights breaking out - between Basil and Sybil, Basil and customers, Sybil and customers - just name your combination. 2 star reviews were routinely met with a response that could cut you off at the knees with its sarcasm. Our dinner was decided. 

It felt easy at first. Seated away from other punters and not so near the open door as to catch a cold rather than Covid, and were served our drinks on the double. And then things got ‘interesting’. 20 or so minutes in I politely enquired if we could order. Sybil, hair bun askew,  frostily told us she was run off her feet and would deal with us when ready. We looked around - there were three covers in the restaurant and a further 3 outside. Still, we were on holiday so we took a deep breath and carried on drinking. 

Shortly after Basil himself bowled up, pad and pen in hand. ‘ Do you have the game pie tonight?’  Adam asked. With a face that said ‘thanks for reminding me (sarcastic version)’ Basil launched into the sorry tale of his put-upon weekend, churning out over 100 of them. ‘ Not enough pigeons so I had to have words with our supplier, but that’s Brexit for you (eye roll).’ 

We ordered game pie and when it arrived it was sensational. I had rarely eaten a pie with such depth of flavour and warm, autumnal embrace. When Basil came to take our plates, I asked him what was in it to give it such complexity. “ A secret!’ he snapped. “Just one ingredient then’ I coaxed. I tried to pull off a boozy conspiratorial smile, but just looked like I was having a stroke. He drew a deep breath: “ Teal, pigeon, venison, partridge, wild boar. That’s all I’ll say”. I took a mental note. 

A few minutes later he slammed a glass of something in front of me. I jumped as he said: ’ Tell me what that is then. Go on! I’ll tell you something - it’s’ not cooking sherry!”

I took a sip. “ Madeira?”

His mood changed slightly. “Exactly so. No one else round here uses madeira, just  cheap supermarket alcohol. And now..” he said with a grand sweep of his hand as Sybil approached muleishly to take our dessert order: ‘ My darling wife will tell you what we have for afters’.

“ What’s the dessert of the day?.”

“ I’d have to check” said Sybil. The frost wasn’t  thawing.

“ Why don’t you know? ‘ Basil demanded . ‘ There’s going to be words about this tomorrow”

‘Who says I’ll come in tomorrow?’ she snarled. 

‘I don’t care if you come in tomorrow!’

‘I’ll have the rhubarb crumble!’ I interjected quickly. 

Sybil was an inch away from ‘You know where you can stick your rhubarb crumble!’ so I felt I was doing my bit for the war effort. That and I did really want some rhubarb crumble and sod dessert of the day. But Sybil was aggressively set on checking it out and turned on her heel with consummate dramatic timing. She returned. It was sticky toffee pudding. “No thanks” from Adam at this stage would have been churlish. 

With no knife left on our table with which to cut a slice of atmosphere, but satisfied that I now had most of the ingredients for Basil’s secret game pie, we tucked into our puddings. They were both molten and packed with flavour. Maybe what we had witnessed was not a slanging match but their creative process.

The next morning our host at the Caravan B&B served up the best English breakfast, with a demeanour more Biden than the Trumps of the previous evening. Homemade toasted bread, local black pudding and slabs of bacon with crispy fat - he and his wife clearly knew about food. 

We decided to take one of his recommendations and try the next nearest pub that evening - a short drive away with equally complimentary reviews about the food  but no apparent  turf war between the owners. Here we dined on roast pork belly with crispy pig cheeks, a steak and ale pie (flaky delicious pastry, but without the sucker punch hit of Basil’s Game), and wondered why this part of the country had such a concentration of good pub food. And then we dined out at a third pub on our last night and our run of good luck came to an end. Partly my fault for ordering a curry because I have never yet had a good curry in a pub, but not my fault that the apple crumble had no sugar in it whatsoever. 

Anyway, here we are back at home, it’s December, the cold has set in and the first vaccines are coming over the horizon. So you might like to try my take on Basil’s Game Pie for the ultimate winter warmer, followed by my Torta di Ricotta flavoured with the sweetest Miyagawa tangerines of the season - Dessert of the Day in my fantasy restaurant. Start your dinner with the quickest and yummiest dressed Burrata (not so much a recipe as an assembly, learnt from Jock Zonfrillo on this year’s Australian Masterchef) and I promise you will find no reason to argue with anyone. 

Just don’t mention the war. 

Game and Marsala Pie with Potato Pastry

I have used a mix of venison, partridge and pheasant here, but take your pick from whatever is in season - proportion one animal to two birds (so wild boar could supplement venison for example). I found that Marsala gives that same depth of flavour as madeira and is cheaper. You can make either normal shortcrust, or my delicious (if super short and un-photogenic) potato pastry. Serves 4-6.

Ingredients

For the game filling: 

3 tbsps extra virgin olive oil

250g piece of pancetta, diced

1 large onion, chopped

2 cloves garlic, grated

1 large carrot, chopped

500g venison, cubed

250 ml game stock (made with pheasant carcass) or beef stock

Meat from 2 x pheasants, cubed

6 partridge breasts, cubed

250 ml marsala

250g chopped chestnut mushrooms

Tablespoon redcurrant jelly

Handful of fresh rosemary, chopped

Handful of chopped fresh thyme

1 tsp salt

6 juniper berries

For the potato pastry: 

175g self-raising flour

125g unsalted butter, cut into small cubes

175g cold mashed potato

1 egg, beaten. 

How to Make

Heat 2 tbsp. of the olive oil in a casserole add the pancetta and fry until golden brown. Add the chopped onions, and stir to coat in the oil and pancetta fat. Continue for a couple of minutes until the onions soften, then add the garlic and the chopped carrot and continue to stir. Add the venison and continue to saute until brown, then add the game stock, marsala, herbs and juniper berries, along with the salt and a grind of black pepper. Cover and simmer for 45 minutes. 

While the venison is simmering, add the remaining tbsp olive oil to a frying pan. When hot, add the diced pheasant and partridge followed by the mushrooms. Saute for about 5 minutes until the edges of the game are brown and slightly caramelised. 

After 45 minutes, add the game birds and mushrooms to the venison, and stir in the redcurrant jelly. Cover again and continue to cook for a further 15 minutes. Take off the heat and cool. 

To make the pastry, rub the cold, cubed butter into the flour in a large bowl until it resembles breadcrumbs, then add the mashed potato to bind it all together. Roll into a ball then flatten slightly, wrap in clingfilm and chill for 30 minutes. 

Heat the oven to 200C. Put the game filling into a large, deep pie dish. Roll out the pastry carefully between two sheets of greasproof paper  (this pastry is very crumbly and won’t behave as well as shortcrust). Lift carefully and place on top of the pie dish to form a crust, and patch ad pinch where the pastry tears. Trim any overhang and pinch the edges to seal (you can make leaves and roses from the spare pastry to decorate the top of the pie). Brush the whole surface with the beaten egg, then bake in the oven for 20 -25 minutes. Serve warm with some buttered cabbage. 

Miyagawa Torta di Ricotta

I make many different versions of this light and velvety italian version of cheesecake-in-a tart, but this one has a delicious citrus hit. Serves 6-8.

Ingredients

For the filling:

250g ricotta cheese

100g caster sugar

2 large eggs, beaten

100ml double cream

Zest and juice of 2 miyagawas (or you can use clementines)

1 tsp. Vanilla paste

For the pastry (this makes twice as much as you need, so use half and freeze the rest)

500g plain flour

250g unsalted butter, chilled ad cut into small cubes

175g icing sugar

2 eggs

For the syrup: 

Juice of 2 miyagawas

100g caster sugar\½ tsp. Ground cardamom

50 ml water

How to make

First make the pastry. Put the flour and butter into a food processor and blitz until the consistency of breadcrumbs. Add the icing sugar and pulse for a minute, then, with the motor running, add the two beaten eggs and pulse until it just comes together (don’t overwork). 

Turn out onto a floured surface, divide in two, pat one half  into a flatish circle, wrap in clingfilm and chill for an hour. Cut one third of the second ball and put to one side. Wrap the rest in clingfilm and freeze). 

Heat the oven to 180C. Roll out the pastry to fit a 23 cm tart tin. Trim the edges (save these for later) , prick the base all over with a fork then line with baking parchment and bake blind (using baking beans or any dried beans) for 20 minutes. Remove the baking parchment and beans, brush the base of the pastry with beaten egg, then return to the oven for a further 15 mins. Remove from the oven and cool while you make the filling. 

To make the filling: mix all the ingredients together until smooth. Pour into the cooled tart shell. 

Working with your remaining pastry, roll out again and cut strips, then lattice these strips across the top of the tart. 

Bake in the oven for 25-30 minutes or until the filling is firm but still a bit wobbly. Remove from the oven and cool. 

Make the syrup: Put all the ingredients into a small saucepan and heat gently until the sugar is dissolved. Bring to the boil and then boil for 5 minutes until thickened slightly. Turn off the heat and cool - as it cools, the syrup will thicken more. When cool, brush the syrup over the surface of the tart. Leave for an hour and then serve. This tart will keep well under a cover for another couple of days. 

Dressed Burrata

So luscious with an unexpected hit of chilli. From first thought to table in 2 minutes. 

Serves 2. 

Take one burrata, at room temperature, and pop it into a small bowl. Snip a generous cross in the top of the cheese with scissors, enough to let it ooze. Drizzle on some top quality extra virgin olive oil, two turns of a black pepper mill, a generous pinch of sea salt, a chopped red thai chilli and a squeeze of lemon juice. 

Eat straight away with slices of toasted sourdough or, as in this picture, some of my toasted beer and buttermilk soda bread.

[crowdvscritic]

round up // OCTOBER 20

Hubie Happy Halloween, friends! I’m not sure what October’s been like for you, but here’s a quick summary of my month:

Re-acquainting myself with my collection of (mostly gray and navy blue) sweaters

Ordering an embarrassing—like, I lost count kind of embarassing—number of lattés

Alternating between enjoying the ombré of the fall trees and cozying up with the first logs in the fireplace

Revisiting all-time favorite stories like The Scarlet Pimpernel by the Baroness Orczy, the extended Lord of the Rings movie trilogy, all three seasons of Stranger Things, the 1995 Pride and Prejudice miniseries, and several Harry Potter movies

In short, this month has been all about finding joy in the little things, which is the essence of our search for coziness in autumn. Since these monthly Round Ups only focus on pop culture that’s new to me, that means this month’s list is shorter than usual, but many of the movies and shows feel like warm blankets I’ll return to again. Though, as you’ll see, a few are not…

October Crowd-Pleasers

Enola Holmes (2020)

A movie so charming, I’m on the verge of rewatching even though it’s only been a few weeks. (It’s a rare occurrence for me to return to something so quickly.) It lets a stacked cast of performers known for dramatic roles flex their comedic muscles, including Henry Cavill, Sam Claflin, and—most spectacularly—Millie Bobby Brown. You can read my full review of the new Netflix movie at ZekeFilm. Crowd: 9/10 // Critic: 8/10

Murder, She Wrote (1984-96)

This entry comes with a bit of an asterisk* because Kyla and I watched this murder mystery procedural in 2018 for our podcast, SO IT’S A SHOW? At the time, I was open to watching more episodes, but it was never so easy as with the launch of the Peacock streaming service. All 12 seasons are available in the free tier, and I never thought a show about murder—and in the procedural format, which I don’t typically love—could be so enjoyable. Angela Lansbury’s mystery writer/amateur detective Jessica Fletcher has become a non-ironic role model for me—I aspire to be as gracious, intelligent, humble, uncynical, and assertive. Also, who says I’m not aspiring to spending my 60s writing, traveling, and solving crimes while wearing a fabulous collection of cardigans?

The Return of SNL

When Saturday Night Live returns in the fall, I always squeak out during the premiere’s opening credits, “My friends are back!” It’s a silly thing to say about an ever-rotating group of people I’ll never meet, but when you’ve been watching Kenan Thompson do his thing for close to two decades, you can only be delighted to see him after months of absence. While the “At Home” episodes this spring were a treat I didn’t think possible, it’s even better to have my friends back at it in their usual environment with the high production value of Studio 8H. These were the skits that made me laugh the most month:

“VP Fly Debate Cold Open,” mostly for the Jeff Goldblum tribute (4602 with Bill Burr)

“New Normal” (4602)

“Dr. Wenowdis on Weekend Update” (4602)

“Enough Is Enough,” a bit which explains my feelings about almost all celebrity political takes (4602)

“Canadian News Show” (4603 with Issa Rae)

“Election Ad” (4604 with Adele)

“The Bachelor” (4604)

For more on how this season has come together back in the studio, you can read the Vulture interview with Lorne Michaels about it.

Coach Carter (2005)

A based-on-a-true-story movie about an unconventional basketball coach (Samuel L. Jackson) who wants his players (including a baby Channing Tatum) to succeed on more than just the court. It’s a straight-down-the-middle story that shares DNA with many of the inspiring sports movies that came out in the wake of Remember the Titans, but it’ll scratch that itch if that’s what you’re looking for. Crowd: 8.5/10 // Critic: 7.5/10

Double Feature — Early ’90s Halloween Classics: Edward Scissorhands (1990) + The Addams Family (1991)

Both of these movies start at Christmastime, but both are spooOOooky movies in their bones. Not all Halloween movies are Tim Burton movies, but all Tim Burton movies are Halloween movies, including Edward Scissorhands (Crowd: 8.5/10 // Critic: 8.5/10). Tim Burton is hit-or-miss for me, but I was pleasantly surprised at how moving this idiosyncratic fairy tale was. Johnny Depp is at his most tortured as a Frankstein’s monster whose inventor (Vincent Price) gave him scissors for hands, Dianne Wiest finds the heart and comedy in your local Avon representative, and Winona Ryder is a queen. The Addams Family (Crowd: 8.5/10 // Critic: 7/10) might be even more idiosyncratic. I’ve never watched the TV series, so it took me a minute to warm up to its twisted sense of humor (“Are they made from real Girl Scouts?”), but once I did, I started laughing as often as my nostalgic parents.

The Magic iPod

A nostalgia kick you didn’t know you wanted. I have no idea why or how this site exists, only that it brings me joy. Try mashing up “Ms. New Booty” with “A Thousand Miles,” “Get Low” with “Float On,” “Tipsy” with Bring Me to Life,” “99 Problems” with “All Star,” “Country Grammar” with “Complicated,” or any other combo that brings your favorite songs from your first iPod together.

Hubie Halloween (2020)

You know those dumb movies that just hit you in the right spot? Adam Sandler has a knack for those kind of movies, and Hubie Halloween fills the void of Halloween fun you’re probably missing this year. Sandler plays Hubie, a not-very-bright do-gooder with a very big heart whose self-proclaimed purpose is to keep everyone safe in his hometown of Salem. But there are spooOOooky threats on Halloween night this year, and only Hubie and his thermos (which rivals a Swiss army knife in all its functions) will be able to save it. Don’t miss it you’re like me and love a good celebrity cameo and a Hollywood-designed Halloween costumes. Crowd: 9/10 // Critic: 6/10

Double Feature — Are We Sure These ‘80s Movies Are for Kids? Gremlins (1984) + Who Framed Roger Rabbit (1988)

After seeing Gremlins (Crowd: 8.5/10 // Critic: 7/10), I know why parents were clamoring for the PG-13 rating—this movie may be short on the scares for adults, but I have no idea what I’d do for a tyke not expecting the cuddly Gizmo to spawn homicidal ghouls. In what may be the most ‘80s movie I’ve watched yet, we get a legit bonkers story, both in premise and execution—and it might also be a brilliant and scathing satire of consumerism? Perhaps another spoof of consumerism: Who Framed Roger Rabbit (Crowd: 8/10 // Critic: 8.5/10), which creates an impressively specific world that’s part animation, part live action. It’s a parody of classic film noir with no shortage of innuendo or just plain weirdness—its artistic achievement makes it worth watching, but since when have kids cared much about any of those things?

Double Feature — So-Bad-They’re-Good Action Flicks: Gone in Sixty Seconds (2000) + Abraham Lincoln: Vampire Hunter (2012)

If Gremlins is one of the most ‘80s movies, then Gone in Sixty Seconds (Crowd: 8/10 // Critic: 5.5/10) is one of the most Nicolas Cage movies. He’s a good guy caught on the wrong side of the law in a ridiculous plot engine where he has to steal 50 cars in less than a week. His pent-up frustration lives just below the surface, and his performance is so committed, you’re not sure if he’s knows  the dialogue and plot twists are zany—in fact, you’re not even sure he’s acting at all. Also committed to whatever the heck it’s doing is a movie that’s exactly what it sounds like, Abraham Lincoln: Vampire Hunter (Crowd: 8.5/10 // Critic: 6/10). An over-qualified cast (Mary Elizabeth Winstead, Anthony Mackie, Rufus Sewell, and more) just goes for it in a story with the premise that Abe Lincoln fought oppression caused by slavery and by immortal blood-suckers. I think my favorite part is when a vampire throws a pony at our 16th president—I couldn’t make this up if I tried.

October Critic Picks

Triple Feature — ‘60s Horror Classics: Village of the Damned (1960), The Haunting (1963), Night of the Living Dead (1968)

In Village of the Damned (Crowd: 8/10 // Critic: 8/10), everyone in a British village passes out at the same time for hours, and weird events continue for years, centering around a mysterious group of children. In The Haunting (above, Crowd: 8/10 // Critic: 9/10), a group is studying events at a haunted house, but it may be the house that’s in control. And in Night of the Living Dead (Crowd: 8.5/10 // Critic: 9/10), the zombie genre dawns with a group huddled away from the undead in a farmhouse. All of these are thoughtful, well-made films, but I recommend them with asterisks* because I’ll never watch any of these groups again. The Haunting made me scared of bumps in the night as I was falling asleep, and Night of the Living Dead gave me zombie-filled nightmares. If you’re looking for a dose of heebie jeebies, these are the movies you’ll be needing!

2001: A Space Odyssey (1968)

I’m not sure I understood any of it, but I think I liked it? If you don’t mind a film that feels more like poetry than a plot, this visual stunner is worth the long runtime and straight-up weird sequence of scenes. Fortunately, I was prepped for my viewing with the help of Turner Classic Movies host Ben Mankiewicz and writer/director Brad Bird, who selected as part of this season’s Essentials lineup. While Bird loves the film, Mankiewicz admitted it’s not one of his favorites because it’s such an obtuse head-scratcher. Both acknowledged it’s an important one to cinema, so unless The Tree of Life is still making your brain hurt almost a decade later, it’s worth trying to parse through a story that covers the dawn of man, man’s fight against machine, and, um, a lot of other things I couldn’t explain if I tried. Crowd: 5/10 // Critic: 10/10

The Trial of the Chicago 7 (2020)

If you’re a fan of Aaron Sorkin’s idealist monologues and ideological pitter-patter, then pause your latest binge of The West Wing to watch his latest writing/directing outing, now streaming on Netflix. Based on the true story of protesters who clashed with the police outside the Democratic National Convention in Chicago in 1968—which, yes, doesn’t seem to difficult to imagine these days—it captures the spirit of a wild trial about political activism, healthy debate, fairness in government, and even the importance of grammar. If you watch it and think there’s no way this really happened, be sure to read up on the real trial to see how the film toned down the judicial circus. While this Oscars season will be unusual, we can predict this film will be in the awards conversation. Crowd: 9/10 // Critic: 9/10

Also in October…

My fellow ZekeFilm writers and I collected our favorite Halloween movies and TV specials for your enjoyment. Not-a-spoiler-alert: My pick is not very scary. In fact, it’s a zom-rom-com I’ve only come to love more since reviewing it upon its release.

Though Kyla and I always talk about Gilmore Girls on our podcast, we don’t just talk about the murder mystery TV shows it references like Murder, She Wrote. This month we talked about an ‘80s prime time soap full of shoulder pads and catfights as well as a ‘70s movie starring Rocky and the Fonz. Then we decided there were so many confusing pop culture references in an episode we couldn’t pick just one, so we researched a mish mash of topics like Punk Planet magazine, workout guru Jack LaLanne, singer Blossom Dearie, Manson cult member Leslie Van Houten, and a whole lotta board games.

540 movies and counting! You can follow real-time updates in what I’m watching in quarantine on Letterboxd.

[purplesurveys]

836

Have you ever been to Costco? No. But I vaguely know about it because I can never really avoid US media, given that it’s everywhere. I’m more familiar with their other stores like Wal-Mart though lol. Do/did you have to wear a uniform to your high school? Yep. I went to the same school from kinder to high school so I pretty much wore one thing every weekday for 14 years, and I can say that and mean it literally. What's your favourite flavour of iced tea? Lemonade. Quick, name the first European country that pops into your head? Luxembourg. How many video games do you own? I don’t have any of my own, but my family owns quite a lot. We’re currently using three consoles (PS3, PS4, Switch) so we have a good amount of games.

Have you ever been to a casino? If so, which one(s)? I’ve been to the casino inside of the ship that I went on a cruise in, but I think it was just named ‘Casino’ haha. I had only turned 18 then, so the only thing I was allowed to do was walk through the area. Do you love or hate olives? Hate them. I always group them on the side of my plate if they’re served on my pizza or pasta; or if I’m eating with my mom, I just give all the olives to her because she lovs them. When was the last time you got delivery food? The other day. My parents got home a little late and didn’t have time to cook for dinner, so they just had liempo delivered to our house. What's your favourite suburb in the city you live in? That’s not really a concept or system that we use here. We do have private and guarded subdivisions that some families choose to live in for increased safety and security, but that’s the closest thing we have to ~suburbs~ And usually, if you don’t live in a certain village you never have a reason to enter unless you’re visiting someone. That makes it impossible to pick a favorite since I’m only ever staying at the village we live in haha. Have you ever visited a sex shop? Yeah, Gab and I entered a sex shop in Metrowalk once. I was a little sheepish and I saw the store clerks giggling at me, but I know they didn’t mean to laugh mischievously so I laughed with them too to ease my tension. I just looked like someone who was entering a sex shop for the first time, which was true. Do you like the name Cindy for a girl? It’s okay, but it’s not my first choice. I can’t hate it though; I have a friend named Cindy and she’s a wonderful human being. How many sets of keys do you have for your house? Three. I lost my key a few months ago so I had three copied. Do you give spare keys to your place to your friends and family? My mom is in charge of giving spare keys to key (hehe) family members like my grandma. But I think giving my friends spare keys to a house that isn’t even technically mine is a little creepy. Have you ever been to Tokyo, Japan? No. I’ve been to Japan, though. When was the last time you saw a movie in theaters? December-ish. Knives Out was the last movie I saw in the cinemas last year. What brand is your laptop or computer? Apple. What's your favourite citrus fruit? I don’t like fruits, but uhhh I do like to sip on a lemon after drinking tequila lmao. Do you know anyone who has Parkinson's disease? I don’t think so. Have you ever ridden a bicycle through a busy city? Not possible here. Manila has never been bicycle-friendly. You’ll have to go to the province – the polar opposite of the city – to do that. Do you use Instagram? How often do you post there? I tried to use Instagram this year to do my own project where I post one photo for each day of 2020. Covid has obviously since ruined that plan and I haven’t updated since the first week of April. :( Otherwise I hate Instagram and don’t engage with anyone there at all. What's your favourite brand of beer? I reeeeally don’t like beer and will only have a bottle if it’s absolutely the only thing being served at an event. I’ve taken a liking to Red Horse after trying it out for the first time earlier this year, so while it’s not a favorite drink of mine I can see myself seeking it out first from now on. When was the last time you high-fived someone? I’d say in the last couple of weeks. My sister and I would high-five when either of us says something witty. Do you like writing? How often do you write? I like writing in an autobiographical/biographical sense? I don’t write fictional stories or poems, but I can definitely whip out a feature article following the life of a certain real-life person. I’ve also always enjoyed writing down my own experiences, emotions, etc. and talking about my day so I’ve been journaling on-off since I was 9. Have you ever dyed your hair a very different colour from your natural? I’ve never dyed my hair. Are there any posters or artworks hanging in your living room? We have generic artworks in the living room, yeah. They’re nothing remarkable, they’re just splatters on the frame to fit my mom’s aesthetic. What's your favourite place to get pizza? Mama Loooooou’s. Missing the outside world so much. How many times have you been to the beach? Too many that I’m not up to counting. I’m at the beach at least once a year. Has there ever been a fire inside your house? Tell me the story. Fortunately not. That sounds terrifying. Are you good at rhyming and/or puns? Not so much my forte, no. Have you ever ordered anything from Amazon? No. I’ve never tried to check out the website, so I’m not actually sure if they ship here. Even if they did, it will not be the first place I’d do my online shopping in because isn’t Jeff Bezos a huge, selfish dick? Do you have cushions on your couches? Yes, several. We also have pillows on our living room carpet so that the place doesn’t look bare. What was the last thing that made you feel a negative emotion? My mom let out a huge scream when she was trying to hold Cooper and he playfully nipped her, and my dad and I got annoyed because it could’ve scared him. We didn’t let her interact with him much after that. When was the last time you drank whiskey? What brand was it? My one and only encounter with whiskey was when I was curious about my dad’s bottle of Jack Daniel’s and poured some onto a glass and gave it a sip. I really, really, really hated it. Had to throw the rest of the drink away :(  Do you like bubble tea? What's your favourite flavour? If that also means milk tea, then yeah. My go-to flavor is Salty Cream Chocolate from CoCo. If I’m somewhere other than CoCo I’ll usually get winter melon or a chocolate flavored one. Have you ever had a scary encounter with a wild animal? Yes. I’ve forgotten where I was exactly but I was in this zoo/safari and it had an open area section where some of the animals roamed freely. I guess one of the bigger birds felt threatened by me when I was using my DSLR so it semi-ran to me and started going at my feet. It gave me an intense stare the whole time which was super unnerving lol. How many piercings do you have? Two, but they’re barely used.. What colour are your underwear today? Green. Do you know anyone who works in a place 1 hour or more from where they live? If you work in Metro Manila, you automatically live one hour away from it. No questions asked. Traffic’s always been a big bitch here. Is there anything in your pockets right now? I don’t have pockets. Are there any loose coins around you at the moment? Nopes. What's your favourite TV show? (top 5 if you can't choose) Friends, Breaking Bad, BoJack Horseman, The Walking Dead (until season 6), The Big Bang Theory (until season 6-7ish). What do you think of androgynous names? I think you meant unisex but whatever lol. They’re alright when you’re older but they can be a little traumatic for some kids at a younger age, speaking from personal experience. I got bullied so much just for my name that whenever a new person would ask me “What’s your name?” it would always send me trembling. Do you own a dictionary? Yeah. I needed one in Grade 2 for English/Language class and I’ve kept the same copy since. Have you ever had a spray tan? No. Never needed it. Do you prefer to hang or fold your clothes? Fold. Just looks a bit more organized to me. Do you own any sports bras? Where'd you get them from? Nah because I don’t really work out. Have you ever had sex in a kitchen? No. I’m open to the idea, but I’m not doing it in my parents’ kitchen. Are you any good at imitating accents? Awful at it. I’m not any good at any of them hahaha.

What's the most expensive restaurant you've ever eaten at? I can’t remember the name because it was Italian, but it was some fancy ass place in BGC I took Gabie to for her 19th birthday.

[ridingirlsblog]

Photoshoot of the Week: December 23rd-29th 2019 - Ducati V4 & Giorgy

The Ancient Appian Way (in Latin and Italian Via Appia Antica) is one of the earliest and strategically most important Roman roads of the ancient republic. It connected Rome to Brindisi, in southeast Italy (the heel of Italy's boot). Bits of the Ancient Appian Way are now covered in tar to facilitate vehicular traffic (even if there's a semi-parallel modern road called Via Appia Nuova - literally New Appian Way - which bears most of the traffic load). But the original, rutted Roman flagstones still cover long swathes of this mighty ancient road, and it is lined by magnificent ancient tombs, including scary Christian catacombs. The Via Appia Antica remained over the centuries a popular Sunday lunch picnic site for Roman families following the half-forgotten pagan tradition of dining in the presence of one's ancestors on holy days. This practice was rapidly dying out in the face of the traffic fumes that for the past few decades have choked the venerable road, but in the 90s the Via Appia Antica was closed to cars on Sundays, bringing back the picnickers along with bicyclists and inline skaters. Even Italian motorbike addicted and multitalented socialite (exotic poledancer & horses trainer) Giorgy Leo decided to take a break from caothic and smoggy roads and took the Ducati V4R for a beautiful photoshoot along the Ancient Appian Way: after all also bikes need to relax, don't they? All kidding aside, the choice of this set was utterly symbolic: the Ancient Appian Way's importance was indicated by its common name, recorded by Roman poet Statius: "Appia longarum... regina viarum", which means "the Appian Way the queen of the long roads". Not only Giorgy is indeed a truly Italian motorbike queen, but - as you know better than me - it has been a long road for every biker to learn how to ride a sportbike, especially powerful motorcycles like Ducati V4. It's definetely intimidating at first and it will take time and practice to master its incredible engine, but - damn, riding a sportbike surely pays off and gives more motivation and satisfaction. So, if you haven't already tried this kind of motorbike, please take my post as a good New Year's resolution! Two years after the release of its acclaimed, game-changing V4 superbike, Ducati is updating the Panigale V4 and V4S by adopting features that debuted on the V4R: here there are the 2020 V4 and V4S models folks! Both models now resemble the homologation special, boasting the same slippery bodywork that punches a larger hole through the air and gives the rider a larger cockpit to hide behind. Both models are visually distinguished from the R by their painted steel tanks and plastic winglets (the R features a brushed aluminum tank and carbon fiber wings). Updating these model for 2020 Ducati aimed to make the Panigale easier to ride without sacrificing its exhilarating nature: to accomplish its goals, it refined the chassis in a number of ways. First, it increased the center of gravity by 5mm to make direction changes easier. It also gave the suspension softer springs with more spring preload, in addition to a new shorter rear shock linkage. Ducati claims the changes help increase rider confidence, especially over rough surfaces. Second, Ducati also massaged the chassis, milling out a section of the cast frame to decrease torsional stiffness by 30 percent and decrease braking stiffness by 15 percent. It's the same chassis change we saw debut on the V4 R last year, and is aimed to improve front end feel and decrease front tire stress, particularly at deep lean angles. Compared to the 1299 Panigale, the V4 models are undoubtedly easier to ride, and not just because it's a little more comfy. There's more revs to play with and the power and torque spread wider across the range, with a softer, kinder bottom-end and an even more ballistic top-end. The hit of power isn't quite as in your face, and as a result it takes less time to settle in, gel with it, and understand how it wants to do business. It definitely has taken a chill pill of sorts; it seems to know more than just on or off, and that makes for a great time on the road, with a great ability to bend to your will and match your current mood. Rather than delivering all of its power like a bunker-busting bomb does, all in one giant hit, it's a smoother, more linear progression as the TFT dashboard animates the digital tachometer and your foot works the worlds smoothest quick-shifter. You could even entertain the idea of going touring with it, should you wish to, or even a commute to work now and again if the mood took you. Anyway, V4 and V4s models are smoother and far more manageable, but all that can go away with a simple flick into Race mode. Everything dials itself to 11: anti-wheelie goes all but to sleep, traction control finds stealth mode, the Ohlins electronic suspension firms up, throttle response goes stratospheric and tyre-shredding slides become the order of the day. The archetypal Ducati personality returns in an instant, and then some. They're blisteringly, unbelievably, unfathomably fast, and faster than the 1299 was. In fact, "fast" doesn't even come close - it's almost pointless trying to put it into words. The rate at which fuel and gears are consumed and converted into forward momentum is beyond comprehension, and decorated by a soundtrack straight out of the MotoGP paddock. Despite that, V4 and V4R are still an unbelievably hot place to sit thanks to the rear cylinder's exhaust headers curling up under the seat next to the bespoke 200-section Pirelli Supercorsa rear tyre. The cockpit is still a wonderful place to be, with a high definition 5" TFT dashboard which makes it a piece of cake to configure the Panigale V4 through its many different modes. The bars are set wide, just as the 1299's were, and the front fairing is tiny. You still need far too many revs to pull away from a stand-still, which alerts everyone within at least 250 yards to the fact that you're on a Ducati - and the stock exhaust is so loud that it only gets away it by sounding so good. It still even sounds like a twin-cylinder thanks to its twin-pulse firing order, and it doesn't like being ridden at anything less than 20mph: you'll be lucky to get 100 miles out of a tank of fuel. Every single electronic rider aid is available at your fingertips. #bikergirl #v4r #v4s #ducatiobsession #ducatilife #motorcycle #ducatista #ducatinsta #superbikes #ducativ4 #ducativ4r #ducativ4s #ridefast #bikeracing #motosports #motolife #fastbikes #RidinGirlsBlog #racing #motorbike #bikelife #bikersofinstagram #bikerfamily #v4 #riderich #girlsonbikes #ridemore #sportbike #sexybiker #bikerchick #bikerlady #desmo #speed #roadracing #ridingsexy #girlswhoride #motard #ducaticorse #motorrad #ducati #motogp #moto #helmetporn #ducatimonster #ducatiracing #motorrad

  She said: "I saw my peers want a man with a big car and a lot of money .. in my desires I was the powerful one instead" Visualizza questo post su Instagram Vedevo le mie coetanee desiderare un uomo con gran macchina e tanti soldi.. nei miei desideri invece ero io quella potente #mynewmotorcycle #wolf #motobiker #motolover #motoaddict #motorcycle #bikergirl #biker #symwolf #sym250 #yamaha #newlove #thisisme #newbikerintown #motogirl #whitemoto #whitelove #motolover #yamahamotor #rider #dainese #alpinestar #givi #ls2 #wanderlust_garage #wanderlustgarage #rider #bikersofinstagram #ildiariodiwanderlust #vallelungacircuit Un post condiviso da Giorgy Gsxr (@giorgy.leo) in data: 22 Dic 2017 alle ore 8:34 PST Read the full article