#i tried taking a new photo today but my face wasnt doing the thing

[humblepoet26]

Bruh, y'all don't understand the bruising I had from this, but she's pretty neat, right? Lowkey obsessed ✨️

[starlightazriel]

bad boy az part 5

warnings: 18+ , 16/18 age gap, angst, death, overdose, heartbreak, self loathing/sabotage, childhood trauma/abuse, drug addiction/abuse, dark rough az, degradation, smut

masterlist

wc: 4.4k

Visiting my grandparents with a broken heart was like torture. Forced smiles and laughs at dinner, which they insisted had to be an outing every single night, since it wasnt often that we came to visit. Christmas dinner had been the only exception. I checked my cellphone relentlessly but there was absolutely no sign of him, not on social media, no texts... No calls... As if none of it had ever even happened, my only reminder that it was all in fact very real were the text conversations which I was now re reading over and over.

There was one particular day that I had been sick, and he sent me a photo of himself a bored solemn expression on his face, I had saved that one, not even believing how incredibly sexy he was. That someone that sexy was even talking to me, let alone fucking me.

you could have told me you were ditching today butterfingers. horrible without you.

im sick, im not ditching. it can't be that bad, you haven't even spoke to me at school all week azriel

i know im not good at saying how i feel but everything is better with you

I remembered the way my heart had nearly jumped out of my chest reading that. How could he say things like that but not want anything to do with a relationship with me? How could we have sex like that and him not feel anything for me?

Maybe it wasn't that, maybe he was just afraid of what he felt. I knew that he had been different around me, I knew that I had gotten a version of him that no one else did. Maybe he had just created that for me, maybe he just really needed help with his classes.

It didnt matter the reason. He was gone anyway, he had offered to be friends but ignored me, granted I had only sent one text, using every ounce of self control that I had not to call him our keep texting him until he gave me something, even if it was just to let me know that he was okay.

-

Azriel was out of his mind. He was spiraling. Nothing helped, nothing worked to get her out of his head. Sure, he could dull his senses enough not to feel anything, but whenever the substance of choice wore off it was always just her there. Her crying and puffy face, her eyes that showed him pure heartbreak, her first heart break, and he knew all too well how that felt.

Though for him it hadn't been a girl, it had been his mom, leaving him alone with his monster of a father. Saving herself but not taking him with her, for all she knew she could have been leaving her little boy to die. He remembered how his first heart break had felt like darkness consuming him, like all the air had been sucked out of his lungs, like no matter how hard he tried to swim up there was something holding him under water. And he did that to y/n. It was haunting almost every one of his thoughts, it made him feel sick to his stomach with guilt. And there was the fact that he missed her, more than anything or anyone that he had ever missed, more than he had missed his mother even in those first few years after she left.

The first night, he had gone to a rave with Rhys and Cass. They raved until 4 am, rolling on Molly, a sea of bodies and heat. He had fucked someone that night, figuring that if anything got his mind off of her it would be some new pussy. Of course that hadn't worked, and really it only made things worse since he had woken up to a text from her. im sorry for anything i said when i was drunk. maybe we can talk when i get back. He hadn't responded, feeling too guilty that he had fucked someone the very night after he broke her heart. While she had been thinking about him, thinking that she had done something wrong, he had been high out of his mind fucking some random in a dirty bathroom. But this was the very reason that he knew breaking it off was the right choice in the first place. He was and always would be a shit bag.

He had been at Rhys and Cass' place every day, they knew something was wrong with him but they didnt pry. They let him cope how he always did, skated with him at the indoor skate park til they were all battered and sore, drunk with him, partied with him, got stoned and high with him.

"You sure you don't want to talk about it? You've been dipping into your stash a lot, starting to get a little concerning," Rhys raises a brow, scaling out some weed into eighth bags. He hadn't realized how quiet he had been. He also hadn't necessarily realized that they'd noticed he was dabbling in substance just a little bit more than usual.

"Yeah, no Im good," he shrugs, rising to his feet, dusting off ashes that had collected on his clothing from smoking. "I should go," he bid them both goodbye before exiting the apartment.

He didnt miss the look of concern they exchanged between each other.

-

Azriel stood in the door way to his living room, almost frozen in shock. The tv was distant background noise even though the volume was almost all the way up. If he didnt know any better he thought the days of rolling were getting to his head and that he was hallucinating it.

His father was face down in vomit and broken glass, he must have fallen into the coffee table and shattered it when he passed out. He didnt have to check, the silence, the white noise buzzing in his ears to the point he almost couldn't hear anything else at all told him that his father was dead. He had probably been dead for hours based on the dryness at the edges of the pool of vomit underneath him.

He didnt feel an ounce of sadness, he didnt know how to feel really, right now, he thought it had to be pure shock. Azriel reached down and picked up a cigarette from a pack that head been on the floor, he lit it, staring down at his fathers body, thinking about every horrible thing he had put him through. The scene before him reminded him about a night when he was fourteen years old, he had stolen his dad's bottle of Jameson and drank the entire thing out of boredom. Rhys and Cass had been away that summer, so he remembered how horribly bored and how much trouble he had gotten into that year. He remembered being so sick never having drank that much before, he remembered throwing up on his hands and knees, his dad kicking him down into his own pile of vomit beneath him. He had watched him struggle to get up, time and time again, he would just laugh kick him down again until Azriel was so weak and dehydrated and physically exhausted, with nothing left in his system to vomit he had just dry heaved, laying there in his own throw up. "Lay there and think about what you did," his dad had growled while tying a thin piece of plastic around his upper arm in preparation to shoot up.

"Goodnight dad," Azriel smirked, letting out a small chuckle at the irony of the situation. He threw the cigarette butt into the center of the pool of vomit, watching it sizzle out. "Lay there and think about what you did," he says and turns before retreating upstairs to his room. His fathers body would be a tomorrow issue.

-

Before the police had come, Azriel gathered every bit of paraphanelia and all of his drug money that was hidden under the floor boards and stuffed everything into a bag that went into his trunk. He knew he wasnt a suspect or anything, the town cops were well acquainted with his father and it was an easy open and shut overdose case. Still, he didnt want to risk getting bagged for something else when they were collecting evidence.

Azriel sat on the porch now, smoking a cigarette while he watched the paramedics haul his dad's black plastic wrapped body into the ambulance to be taken to the morgue, a bored expression on his face. He felt more empty than he had in a long time, he didnt know if it was the fact that he had been doing ecstasy for almost the entire week, the fact that he had found his father dead and overdosed the night before, or if it was the fact that he couldn't just pick up his phone and call y/n anymore.

He had been asked to do a news piece. Of course they were covering his deadbeat, nothing father's death on the local news. In a small town like this they had to cover everything for there to be anything to talk about. He had obviously declined, though he knew they would still use his fathers name, probably show his house... "Chief, I gotta get outta here," Azriel had tossed the cigarette off of his porch and was standing now, his hands shoved into the pocket of his hoodie.

"Youre good Azriel, just leave the door open for evidence and the hazmat team," the place chief nods and Azriel retreats to his room, packing his things to stay at Rhys and Cass' place for a few nights. Death was like a blanket that now covered his entire house, and he couldn't handle it.

-

Returning to school was just as miserable as being at my grandparents house. There was a buzz in the air about something, I didnt bother to try and figure out what it was. Nothing besides grades and Azriel really mattered anymore, even though the latter was only an empty hole in my chest at this point. I didnt expect to see him at school, I knew he would probably skip the first few days, and even if he didnt I knew I was the last person he wanted to see.

"Y/n," Maggie says a little breathlessly, jogging up to my locker at the end of the day. "Ive literally been looking for you all day, did you hear about Azriel?" she asks, my head snaps to the side, my eyes landing on hers. She knew about everything that happened with Azriel and her stance was that all boys are the same and he was just afraid to commit. No matter how many times I tried to tell her that Azriel wasn't like anyone else, she didn't listen.

"What happened?" I asked quickly, immediately assuming the worst, jail, car accident. I should have paid more attention to the gossip earlier.

"He found his dad... Like dead, in his house, drug overdose, you didnt hear?" she says, her brows furrowing slightly. "Literally like two or three days ago. It's so fucked, have you talked to him?" she asks, I just blink a few times, staring back at her. The thought of Azriel finding his dad like that made my gut twist, I wanted to cry.

"Um, no," I said quietly, hugging my text book to my chest. "He's still not speaking to me," I tack on quietly, now feeling guilty for not trying to reach out again. "I gotta go Maggie, thanks for letting me know," I close my locker, turning toward the door.

"Are you okay?" she asks, I could feel her watching after me, I turn my head back to give her a reassuring nod.

"I'm fine."

-

I knocked on Azriels door after school every day for three days straight. He didnt come to school, he didnt call, he didnt text, despite the number of texts I had now sent him. It was a new day now, Thursday and still he wasnt at school, so I took the familiar route to his house and knocked on his door three times. My heart leapt when the door swung open only a few moments later, my lips parted in surprise when it wasnt Azriel there, but a woman.

"Can I help you sweetie?" She was middle aged, wrinkles forming around her eyes and corners of her mouth. Tan skin and black hair like Azriels, and that wasnt the only thing they shared. She had Azriels eyes. Those beautiful, pooling, mysterious hazel eyes.

His mother?

"I-" I stuttered softly, staring up at her. "I was just looking for Azriel," I finally manage to get out.

"Well that makes two of us," she says and clicks her tongue. "Ive contacted the school, and he hasn't been there, police say I can't file a missing persons yet because he's eighteen-" she rambled before stopping herself. "Come in, it's freezing," she adds but I shake my head.

"Oh, no that's okay thank you. Ive got to get home," I swallow hard, turning away from her, I hear her bidding me goodbye and I only wave in response, not turning back around.

-

Azriels brows furrow in confusion at the silver, new looking car in his drive way when he returns later that night to grab fresh clothes and take a good shower. He planned to stay home that night, needing a bed instead of a couch, his back was aching. Not that he had been sleeping much, he was doing too much molly, he hadn't gotten a good nights sleep since the last night he had slept with y/n which had been weeks ago now, since he stupidly hadnt taken his chance to sleep next to her one last time after she declared her love. He had been too afraid.

He was sure though, that she didn't really love him, she loved the way that he fucked her, the way he ate her pussy, maybe even the way he looked. But he wasn't lovable, someone like her couldn't just love someone like him.

He pushes the door to his house open and cautiously walks in, stopping in his tracks when he sees his mother sitting at the counter. He turns around, looks back again, rubs his eyes once. Surely this was a hallucination. She was quiet, surveying him, after eleven years he had changed a lot, he wasn't the little boy that she had left. He was tall now, built, covered in tattoos.

"What are you doing here? What do you want? Cuz' there's sure as fuck no inheritance or will if that's what you're after," he practically spits, coldly, as he surveyed her as well. This was real, it was very real. He noted the wedding bands on her finger, and nearly laughed out loud. She winces at his tone and aggression, rising to her feet as she continues to stare at her son that she hadn't seen in so long.

"Ive been waiting for you all day. I came to see if you needed any help with the funeral or if you wanted to come stay with me and your sisters-"

"Just stop there, because they are not my sisters. You are not my family. I don't want to see you, I don't want you here," eleven years of anger was coursing through him. How dare she come here. How dare she show her face here like everything was just normal. Guilt flashes across her face and her throat bobs as she clutches her bag in her hand.

"I am sorry Azriel. I was young... I made a mistake-"

"It's too late for any of that. Im grown now," he scoffs, watching as tears threaten to fall from her eyes. He didnt feel the least bit guilty, he hoped that she suffered from her choices. "You left me here to die, you only cared about yourself. You promised a seven year old boy that you would come back for him and you never did. Do you know how many times he almost killed me?" the words were flowing from him and he wasnt sure if it was the lack of serotonin from too much x or if it was simply all the pent up anger and aggression that he had. She just stood in stunned silence, silent tears running down her face. "You come back now? Like that makes anything better? Thinking what? That I would run into your arms and away into the sunset with you and your new family?" He walked to the door, opening it for her and jerking his head toward it. "I don't know why you would come here, you're sick for even thinking that it was a good idea. And Im sick looking at you, get the fuck out of my house," he growls quietly, and she stares back at him opening her mouth to say something else but realizes there was nothing she could say that would ever make him forgive her.

He slammed the door shut behind him, his lungs felt like they were caving, his chest physically ached from the emotional turmoil. Seeing his mother was far more painful than his dads dead body days ago. He noticed though, that with the pain, there was some sort of closure he felt from screaming all those things at her.

He knew that he should go back to Rhys and Cass' place, he knew he shouldn't stay here, especially after that. He shouldn't be alone right now, but being alone was what he did best. It was easier than anything else.

-

The next day after school, I had been much more hesitant when I walked toward Azriels door. I noted his car in front though, which made my heart leap, my stomach churned with nerves.

Something had unsettled me about Azriels mother being there. Something felt wrong about seeing her there yesterday. There wasnt exactly much I knew about Azriels childhood. I knew it was abusive, I knew she left, I knew that he didnt deserve any of what he went through. I knew it tortured him more deeply than he let on, no one in the world was that strong. I hoped she wasnt there again today. I needed to talk to him, I needed to get him to myself, there was so much I wanted to say to him, though, I didnt know if I would really have the courage once we were face to face.

I knocked three times, just like I had yesterday, I waited a few minutes, knocked two more times. "Im fuckin coming, damn," his voice sends my heart soaring and my gut reeling. He swings open the door, and my eyes instantly meet his, he's surprised, I can tell that much. But his eyes are distant, besides the slight surprise he's not wearing any emotion besides maybe exhaustion, his normally tan skin is slightly pale, dark circles ringing the bottom of his eyes. "Y/n, I didnt realize it was you. Im- Im sorry," I wonder if he's as much at a loss for words as I am.

Worry gnawed at me as I stared up at him. I couldn't see any light there, he didnt look okay. He clears his throat expectantly and I realize that I haven't said a single word. "Im sorry you found your dad," I blurt out before swallowing the lump that was growing in my throat. I didnt exactly think that Im sorry for your loss was the right thing to say in this scenario, I knew Azriel better than that. I had seen the hatred burn behind his eyes when talking about his father.

Azriel softens only the tiniest bit, he lets out a small sigh, "did you want to come in?" He asks, stepping aside so that I could walk in. I found myself wondering where Azriel had found him, less than a week ago someone died in here. I tried not to think about it too much. "Sorry about the mess," he mutters, shutting the door before nodding toward the stairs, I walk the familiar path toward his room and the sight of his room makes my stomach turn as I recalled how clean it had been the first time I saw it.

Definitely not okay. There were clothes everywhere, random pills on random surfaces, some crushed up and some still whole, if it hadn't of been for the few random pizza boxes I would have thought he wasnt eating at all, there were empty liquor bottles, some paperwork strewn about that probably had to do with the funeral... It was bad, I felt sick. I swallowed a lump in my throat and turned, he seemed so distant, so unfazed. Was he on something?

"Azriel..." I whispered, he stared back at me, reading my expression before shaking his head.

"Don't say anything butterfingers," I take a step toward him, he visibly tenses which makes me hesitate. I just wanted to run to him. I wanted to take all of his pain away, I almost didnt even recognize myself anymore... When had I even started caring about things other than school? Of course I was still at the very top of my class, but I was so damn distracted these days... His eyes drift to my lips and my cheeks flush slightly, I was so damn nervous, the last time I saw him he had ripped my heart out of my chest. "Come here," his voice is husky, almost a whisper, his eyes are still jaded and dark. It almost scares me, the way he's looking at me. I advance slowly toward him my fingers shaking, breaths ragged.

"You want me to fuck you don't you?" he turns his chin up, looking down his nose at me, his words are rough now, a little louder and more forceful as he looks me up and down, my lips part in surprise, at a loss for words. "You just can't stay away can you?" he chuckles softly, and he grabs my face roughly, forcing me to look up and fully meet his gaze, I gasp in surprise, making him huff out another amused breath. Adrenaline courses through me and I can't tell if Im more afraid or more turned on, my heart pounds wildly against my chest as I stare up at him. "You just want my cock, stuffing you all night making you scream," he moves his fingers down, gripping my throat now, his long fingers lightly squeezing. I moaned quietly, gasping for breath.

"They do say it's always the quiet ones, the shy ones," he snickered softly, I felt so small underneath him. He squeezed a little tighter, the way he was looking at me. He was so cold, angry even. Did he really believe that's all I wanted from him? Did he really think I didnt mean it when I told him I loved him? "You like the way I fuck you don't you? You like the way I eat your pussy while you cum over and over again? My greedy little slut," his voice rattled through me, I couldn't speak, I only whimpered in response as he pushed me down roughly onto the couch. My body buzzed, my pussy aching with need for him, I didnt care how he was treating me. I didnt care about anything except the fact that I could have him again.

"Is this what you want?" he asks, shoving my face into the arm of the couch, I moaned softly as he ripped my shirt down, my nipples rubbing against the rough fabric of the sofa. My pants are next, and he rips them down with such force I have to hang on tightly to the couch to brace myself. He grips my hips tightly, not even bothering to get me fully undressed. I cry out as he slams his cock into me, filling me all the way up without so much as a warning. Yes, this was exactly what I wanted... What I had been needing. Him. Filling me, close to me, panting over me. "I fucking missed you," he admits, his fingers digging into my hip bones as he fucks me harder than he ever had. I cried out in pleasure, the feelings of pain and pleasure mixing in the best of ways.

"Azriel," I moaned, feeling closer and closer as he pounded into me so deliciously deep. Hes rough, hands needy and gripping me hard, I knew I would be covered in bruises. It felt too damn good to worry about anything. "Oh yes," I moaned again, my body going limp as I came all over him. He lets out a long low groan, continuing to fuck me with everything he had before he collapses on top of me. We lay like that in silence for a few long minutes as we catch our breath, my heart is still racing, nerves churning as I didnt even know how to feel or what to say.

"Are you okay?" I finally break the silence, I instantly regret it as the second I do he's off of me, pulling his pants back up and tucking himself away.

"Im fine, I'll give you a ride," he says coolly and a lump rises in my throat as I scramble to get dressed. It felt like the room was spinning.

"I thought maybe we could hang out or-"

"I told you y/n I can't have a relationship with you, you want to have sex with me, I gave you what you wanted. Im sorting shit out right now. I can't give you anything else," he shrugs, looking down at me now, I could see his mask. I could see he was putting on a face, no matter how well he could fool everyone else.. I could see the cracks.

I didnt hold back when I screamed at him.

"You're fucking scared Azriel!" I wanted to throw something at him, I wanted to hurt him, embarrass him like he had just done to me. No matter how much I had enjoyed it he had just degraded me and fucked me and was now trying to kick me out. "You do this to yourself! You're so fucking afraid of feeling something besides hate or anger that you just push it all away and look at you now I mean what the fuck are you doing? You're doing all kinds of pills and shit every day now? Now you're acting like your father. You are your own worst fucking enemy Azriel," I cry out watching him wince at my words, visibly flinch like they had dealt him a blow.

I knew I was cruel, I knew the things I said were horrible and hateful but I hadn't been able to help myself. Not after he treated me like that.

-

a/n ooooops lol thoughts????

[glilboy]

Ateez reactions to finding you reading smut about them: Hyung line

ive had this idea for awhile and even requested it a few times from other writers but..i felt it was time to write it lol

tws under the cut

warning, this piece of fiction contains mentions of somnophilia, slight dom and sub dynamics, and general explicit topics.

Hongjoong:

You had attempted to stay up waiting for Hongjoong, deciding to reread one of your favorite stories in the mean time. Unfortunately that wasnt enough to keep you awake, you ultimately passing out and your phone tumbling onto the floor.

Hongjoong had a feeling you'd passed out since you didnt message him any "i miss you :(" texts after 11pm so seeing you knocked out on the couch was no surprise. He slowly padded over to you smiling softly, then noticing your phone on the floor and went to pick it up for you. He was never the kind to go through your phone but your smart self had no shut down timer which left the fan fiction on display for him.

He couldnt help but be curious seeing paragraphs of text and decided a little reading would do no harm. As he began to read though he felt his gut sweep, in a good way. He was honestly a little upset until he saw his name but when he read his name it was like all of exhaustion disappeared. Luckily he didn't have work the next day he thought to himself.

Sitting down on the couch with a plan he slowly nudged you awake. "Hi dear," he spoked softly with a smirk.

You rubbed at your bleary eyes and looked up at him, "Oh hi Joongie. Sorry I didn't mean to fall asleep." He smiled even bigger at you.

"Thats fine, it helped me find out something fun," he tucked your hair behind your ear. Still waking up you made a small "huh?" before seeing the phone in his hand.

"Oh..." you mumbled, starting to be awake enough to get it. You finally looked at him straight on and saw his signature devilish grin.

He moved his hand to slowly move up your thigh, giving it a small squeeze which elicted a sigh out of you. "Didn't think you'd read stuff like that Y/N, but I guess you're just full of surprises huh doll," the pet name made you shiver, Hongjoong never having used that one before.

"I'm sorry Joongie," you mumbled into your arm, face now red. His hand moving up to cup your core and grind his hand into it making you whimper softly.

"Oh dont be sorry dolly, just shows me that you really miss me."

Seonghwa:

Saying Seonghwa was caring was an understatement in a way. Despite his busy schedule he made it a point to showed he cared in different ways. One thing he always did was if you left your phone out at all he would put it on the charger for you. Small things!

Today though he had come home earlier than usual while you were taking a quick shower. Seeing your phone on the counter he waltzed over setting his stuff down to throw it on the charger even if it wasn't that low. He noticed you left it on, open to a book he assumed enough.Him being the lovely man he is he wanted to read a bit to see what you liked and possibly buy you a physical copy. Written porn with his name in it though was not what he was expecting.

Seonghwa gulped, setting down your phone with his hands shaking and his face now flushed pink. He took a deep breath and set down his bag, running his fingers through his hair now being surprisingly worked up. A part of him felt embarrassed for being turned on by the writing but at the same time he knew you didn't read it for no reason.

"Hwa! You're home early hello!" You ran up to him giggling, now clean and dressed in some sweats.

"Hey babe, yeah we got let out early cause we learned the new choreography fast enough. They asked us if we wanted to do more vocal practice but none of us did," He laughed, trying to shift his legs to hide his slight erection.

"None of you stay late ever," you giggled sarcastically up at him. "Well, I was gonna take a nap. Do you want to? I'm sure you're tired."

He nodded softly and took your hand walking to your guys bedroom talking about your day. He changed himself into more comfortable clothing then joined you in bed, you curling into him quickly. Once you settled Seonghwa felt he could actually breathe, feeling like a middle schooler just for getting more worked up from having you close. He heard your breath settle which is when he shifted away a bit from you.

"Fuck..." He mumbled, having the space now laying on his back to palm himself over his erection. Looking over at your sleeping face made it worse, the piece you had opened having involved somnophilia. One thing he never had the guts to suggest to you despite having such an open relationship.

He didn't notice your eyes flutter open at the movement. You only just fell asleep so you were in no means in too deep. You decided to play it though, closing your eyes and throwing a leg over his waist as if you were just adjusting in your sleep.

He inhaled a sharp breath and bit his lip now mildly frustrated at the whole situation. Mumbling a fake sleepy "Hwa" you moved to straddle the man hearing a childish sigh escape his lips.

"If you keep moving, I swear to god," He mumbled out loud thinking youre still asleep since you had always been a chaotic sleeper.

"And what will you do about it horny kid," you giggled against his neck. You could feel his body tense.

"Go back to sleep and I'll fuck you like your sick little fantasy, how about that hm?"

yunho:

Rain was beating against the window as you cuddled up on the couch with your phone in hand. Yunho was on the other side of his personal office playing video games. It was a chill day but something in the air was setting you slightly off the edge.

Besides the sweet glances and cheesy smiles thrown at each other, your screen was very much the opposite of innocent pure love. Getting indulged in the story you started to zone in, missing some of his looks making Yunho curious as to what your interest was delved into currently.

"Be right back guys," he said into the mic mischievously. Quickly making his way over he slipped the phone out of your hand, this behavior wouldve typically been fine but because of the contents on your screen you gasped and reached out for your phone. "You doing something naughty or do you just like acting suspicious?" he grinned before looking at your phone.

His face feel reading the paragraph of a particularly nsfw scene. You were now sitting up staring at him wide eyed, "yuyu please oh god its not what you think, i think." Silence filled the room, the only noises being the sound of his running pc and the dull chatter of the other boys.

"Do you read this often?" he said out of hesitation and pure curiosity, almost feeling that he violated your private space. He kind of got the gist of it all right away, thankfully for your sake.

"Not all the time but i mean, you are busy yunho," you tried to softly explain knowing this was odd territory.

"Do you...ever want to try it," he says, getting to the end of the page and looking at you.

"I can't say that..none of them aren't, nice," the air was filled with an awkward energy that could suffocate another person if they came in at such a weird time.

The two of you stood there for a second, until he moved towards you and took your hand. He placed it on his bulge and you sucked a breathe in.

"Take off my pants," he ordered, a strange harsh tone to his voice. For you guys there was never set roles, not any dom or sub dynamic but it wasnt vanilla per say so him speaking like this was new. Besides that, you did as he said and pushed your thumbs under the waistband of his sweats, pulling them down his legs.

Silently he took your hand then sat down on his gaming chair, pulling out his large cock. He slipped on his headphones before looking up at you with a shit eating grin.

"Sit down, i can tell youve been dying too babe."

yeosang:

You were waiting for yeosang to come home after a shorter than usual practice, deciding to pass the time by indulging in your secret world. In the midst of browsing your favorite blogs you didn't hear the door open, this event made you learn not to have headphones in when participating in such activities.

Walking in, Yeosang looked around for you and spotted your figure on the couch. He slowly moved near with a secret motive of scaring you when he glanced at your phone seeing a photo of him paired with a lot of writing. Tilting his head curiously he squinted to read the text, reading along with you until his face flushed.

Sucking in a breath slightly he moved back to the door, playing off him just entering. You noticed his figure walking towards you and sneakily turned off your phone and got up to greet him.

"Hey babe, it's nice to see you in the sunlight," you giggled and wrapped your hands around his waist. You noticed him hesitantly wrapping his arms around you, causing you to pull away.

"Hey, whats up? you seem a bit off?" you pouted and brushed the hair out of his eyes, not catching the little blush.

"Yeah yeah babe, I'm fine. promise," he cleared his throat and pulled away, making your heart sink a bit. He practically completely ignored what you actually said.

"No Yeo, I- did I do something wrong? Or just a long day?" you pried knowing something was up.

Shifting awkwardly on his feet he looked up at you, his hair back in his face. "I um, saw what you were reading."

The color drained from your face, mouth slightly hanging not knowing what to say. You thought he was pissed, was going to leave and break up with you but right when you were about to talk he spoke again.

"C-can we do that?"

A moment of silence passed and you looked up at him, your boyfriend who was typically very soft and gentle in bed. Knowing what you were reading was likely pretty heavy in his book, you became worried. "Yeo, I just read it. It means nothing I don't want to make you uncomforta-"

His lips cut yours off and one hand entangled in your hair, his other guiding you to the wall by your hip. Back flush against the way you pulled away after a moment to see his eyes wide and sweat already beading down his temple.

"I've wanted to do that, just didn't want to scare you dear."

[secretbangtnn]

summary : Getting a letter from a very prestigious school was something that you could have never expect, and even more unexpected was that you didn’t need to pay a penny for it. Beautiful news that were too good to be true, but oh how stupid you were to not question such a perfect chance to get away from your shitty life.

notes:

Guys i would be more than happy for some feedback, its my first time writing in english and im more than nervous. Im not sure if what i wrote is good or even understandable. + i would be more than happy to start an ask game with this book

Chapter one

Living or in your case existing was always somehow calm. Everything you do had a plan and everyday had the same pattern, like a boring vase that stood in the same kitchen you actually were. Blue marble tiles awfully similar to tears that run down the woman's cheeks, making them a little bit more redder than before.

Not that they weren't that color before, always blushy and ready to be seen. And maybe that's why you had that sour taste in your mouth while watching them, knowing that your own were as beautifully red as hers.

"why?" a simple question sounding now like the last call for help. Voice groggy and nose runny making the sight before even more unbearable to look at. But why weren't you moved, why the tears didn't make you guality like they should. "you planned this?! You planned to leave me alone like a selfish bastard!"

Looking down didn't seem like the best option, knowing that it could just take the nerves in the room to a whole new level but you could not stop yourself. She was always one to guilt trip you into everything.

A little shout left the chapped mouth making you jump a little while lifting your head simultaneously. Sight before you seems to worsen and as you took a step back the woman took another two in the end catching your small wrist in her clawed hand.

Hissing and looking dead in her eyes made you somehow more conscious of the whole situation.

“I didn’t know.” and you really did not. Gritting your teeth so hard that it felt like some of them could fall out at any moment seems to stop you from doing sudden movements.

Breathe in and breathe out.

“Of course you think I am stupid! Just like your father, bringing me to insanity step by step. But that’s what you wanted from the beginning, am I right?”

“Stop being delusional mom” Oh how hard it was to say the name of that woman. Mother of child that she forgets most of the time, only to remember at the most shitty time. Today was exactly one of the examples of why your dream was just to wake up not seeing or better not having to think of that woman.

“Am i now? It’s you who wants me like this.” She laughed, throwing her head back in the motion. Elegant column of her neck now easy to see, showing purple and red marks similar to those from claws. “You thought I would not know, you thought you could just run away like a scared little child. Now tell me, how long were you planning this o-or maybe it was your father’s plan from the beginning.”

“I didn’t know about it, I didn’t even apply to any of the schools and you are the one that should know that.” toxicity leaked from your voice in big streams, but it was something that u could not stop at that moment. She was doing it again, acting crazy and psycho making everyone question why she wasnt getting hospital help yet.

“So you are saying that it’s my fault? You were supposed to care for me, for your ill mother, not that you are useful for anything else. How could you even think of disappearing, going to school so far away and leaving me to rot here myself like you were not meant to end like this too!”

Snatching your hand you looked at the woman once again, tears in eyes making you look fragile. Her own body looking weak, nearly dead limbs hanging from a malnourished body, showing the world wrack of a woman she was. Complexion ill looking, but what was not in her case, pale looking with green, purple and blue spots everywhere the skin was shown.

“Why are you being so shocked? Don’t tell me you thought you were going to leave someday.” Her laugh made you grit your teeth, jaw starting to hurt from the tension you were keeping. “Once again you showed how foolish you are, just like your father, just like that scumbag.”

“You are insane.”

“That we already know, so why don’t you come back to your room and start preparing for tomorrow. I want to eat a really nice breakfast next morning and maybe then after we can talk about what job you are going to have to make a living for us.”

And that was your sign to go, not looking back at the sick smirk on your mother mouth momocking your whole being. Step by step you saw the old stairs, in some place missing the color. Your room was nothing special, at least that what people said, for you it was some type of heaven. Peace that you could only catch while being there, laying on your old bed while looking at the dull ceiling.

Closing the door, you exchaled a heavy breath, sliding down on the flat surface of the door. Eyes closed like you have always done after an intense situation, today was not an exception to that.

Asking yourself what just happened, how and why. Unconsciously you looked at the letter beside you, laying so weirdly on the piece of not carpeted floor. The big fault in a little piece of paper. It was funny how this thing made such a bad influence on your life just by arriving on your doorstep.

The fact that the only person you could compare yourself to now is a story character of the name Harry was nearly not as funny as it sounded. However how u can explain getting a letter from a prestigious school you for sure did not apply or even looked up not even thinking about getting a scholarship to having a chance to think about it.

By any chance you were not stupid, but your ambitions flew away with another day in this shit hole you called home. Main reason being your own mother, which not only made it clear but for sure would kill you faster than let you leave.

You took the letter, keeping it in your hand like some unknown object you have never seen before. The texture itself is weird, making you shiver in some way. Big letter stood on the black piece of paper meaning only one thing.

Oh yes, that definitely was unsetting.

You remember clearly the first time you read the words that were put in this blank envelope. Big chance waiting for you, welcoming you with big arms and assuring you that you have nothing to be scared of.

And maybe those words were the one that brought you to that situation. It was not even three hours after the fight with your mother. Sun long down now moon shining on your pale face. Packing everything you tried to be quiet and quick hoping that your mother again ate too much of those big pills.

Big bag now laying down on your bed with a small letter beside it looking as innocent as before. You were not even seventeen making decisions that would cost you more then you can imagine. Living hell with possibility of going to another but in that moment nothing mattered like running away from old monsters.

Floor cracked under your feet even thought you were considered as a lightweight. How could you not be so malnourished when your mother forced you to teach yourself how to cook, never letting you eat before her. You tried to reason her moods or harsh behaviour to you but no matter how many times you tried it always ended in another reason why your life was just simply sad.

Running away was a good decision. You tried to say it so many times to actually believe in those empty words. The truth was that you were an innocent little child, not even a full adult that has never tasted a social life or had a friend.

“It will be alright.” Taste on your tongue after saying this a little sour with a heavy backpack danglin on your right arm. One step and then another, you touched the cold handle of your white doors. It was the first move to make and probably one of the hardest.

Bag on your arm is even more heavy making you realise what is happening. Silent breath flowed past your lips preparing you for your next step.

You pushed it closing it carefully while hoping that the oldish touch to the wood wont make an appearance in a loud noise. Silly smile now seen on your face with big relief in the back of your mind. The hardest part was just before you.

Your mothers room, not fully closed - like always, she needed to make sure nobody would come uninvited. It was just one of her weird characteristics that came with such a messed up mental health.

Small noise came out under your feet, not loud enough to wake up the woman next door but audible enough to be heard from closer.

Photos all around you telling you that you were getting near the main door. Little pictures with you inside faded from ears of hanging, making you stop for a while.

Smooth glass now under your fingers as you touch a specific photo. You and your mother being in the green garden of your grandmas. Happy vibe and pretty smiles now nearly unbelievable to witness on either of faces. It hurted or maybe it was just the adrenaline escaping from a sudden stop.

Oh how the sweet monet was quickly destroyed by the harsh noise from one of the rooms, and you exactly know which one. Loud thud rang out in the quietness of the house, making the silence even more noticable. Your breath escaped leaving you in a big ball of nerves and anxiety.

One...two...three

Silence like the one before big storms but maybe just this time it was not that. You couldn't withdraw now, you were too far and too close to the feeling of freeness. So you did the only thing that came to your mind.

Catching a sliding backpack, you turned to the door in front of you, knowing that just behind them is waiting something so much bigger than your old mother. How stupid for you to not rethink your decision, and believing your innocent mind that its just a good thing, better life that could only make you happier.

So you did it, you took the heavy steps that echoed in the narrow corridor. Light breeze touched your face, and just like the first time you gasped at the feeling. Door closing not that gently as you started running as fast as you could.

Silly smile now on your face with a bouncing bag on your shoulders keeping you on the hard ground. It was feeling similar to the first sight of the ocean or the first taste of sweet ice cream on a hot summery morning. You were in ecstasy choked by the overwhelming emotions.

And maybe because of that you were completely unaware of the danger that waited for you on that chilly night. How could you think about it when everything seemed so distracting almost as you were dreaming and in that moment you probably were closer to believing in this being a slumber.

So as you sat on the cold bench of one of the parks near your home, realization finally came silencing your beating heart. Colder weather now felt more real, as it bit your rosy cheeks. You shivered, keeping your backpack on your lap, trying to hide behind it from a chilly wind that seemed like it came from every side.

Being alone hit you like a truck and the little noises of the night didn't help your rising nerver. You started to lose your breath, feeling your tears sliding down your numb cheeks. It was terrifying now with the knowledge of your wellbeing and adrenaline wearing off with every second.

“Mom?” A silent plea that came out of your lips with shakiness that was more than noticeable. You didn't know why you said that, but the woman was probably the only person you knew. Such a sad truth that you needed to understand. You were alone now, and with that thought a more shameless sobs left your mouth with an occasional whimper.

You were sure you were going to end up dead. That you won't see the new sunset with how your body shivered. Not knowing how life worked or what is bad or good you were a little lamb that waited for hungry wolves to eat her whole.

And maybe one of those predators just saw his next meal. Long strides brought him just in front of you. Your sobs are too loud to make you hear his boots coming closer and closer. His breath just centimeters away from your head, brushing your hair like the not forgotten wind.

“Sweetheart?” It was a calming voice, not too deep but definitely belonging to a grown man. Your posture momentaly stiffened, as your closed eyes now looked at the big leather shoes before you. Your whole body is not moving, only shivering because of the chilly weather and light clothes. It was funny how suddenly you have forgotten about being alone, now wanting just this, wishing for all of this to be a big nightmare.

A deep sight left man's lips reminding you about the realness of the whole situation. You could not move, completely scared, your fingers clutched the bad praying for something to happen. The plan to just act like you were not there, ignoring the man fastly ended, when he sighted once again and crouched just to your eye level.

Deep brown eyes, looking at you with nothing but softness. If you didn’t know better you would say the man looked as if he knew you, cared and was in big relief finding you. But your mother's words echoed in your head, making you believe that every man walking on this planet is bad.

“What are you doing here sweetheart?” Once more this deep voice pierced you. Your mouth opens to answer, deeply knowing that nothing will come out. You just looked in his dark eyes, wishing that maybe he will be the one who can read minds. His eyes now on you, more concerned than before, observing your shivering body.

He was tall and broad for sure, towering over your figure surprisingly even while crouching down. His huge shoulders covered by a creamy coat which now was getting dirty by laying down on a pavement, as it partly hid his expensive looking boots.

Too distracted you didn't notice his hand coming to touch your red cheek, now gently stroking the redness of your skin.

“What a poor soul, so cold and left alone without a coat. Tell me sweetheart would you come and let me warm you a little?”

[happys-crazy-queen22]

Fertility Struggles II

Gif credit @angels-reyes

Part 2 to Fertility struggles. Hope you all enjoy.

Taglist @nocturnalherb16. @jesseswartzwelder. @leaalfred. @creepers-baby-girl. @writerwithasoul. @twistnet. @baylishh. @believinghurts. @ilovetaquitosmmmm. @mayans-mc.

Month after month since starting IVF, you've gotten your period. It was starting to make you mad. You were actually getting tired of using periods at the end of a sentence. They were everywhere. One month you did get your hopes up because you missed your period but wham that bitch hit you at the end of the month. She wasnt going to let your dreams come true.

It was the first day of your period and Nestor came home happy thinking this might have worked. You've been moody and eating a lot. But you were scared to tell him.

"You got your period"? He asked when he saw you on the couch, with your sweats, a box of tissues and icecream with a blanket wrapped around you.

"Yeah. That bitch can't give us a break. I'm sorry". You said with a sniffle.

"It's okay. We can try again". He came over to the couch and sat down pulling your legs to his lap.

"I dont know if I want too". You replied, playing with your icecream in the tub.

"What do you mean"? Nestor moved in his seat to look at you. He was confused. This has always been the number one thing you have ever wanted.

"IVF seems to not be working. I'm getting my period every month. It's like I'm taking this drug for the fun of it. I'm putting us through hell and getting nothing". You wiped away tears with your sleeve.

"Its not for nothing. We're going to make a baby. You can't give up". He rested his hand on your stomach.

"I havent. Maybe we should look into adoption or a surrogate"?

"So you're wanting me to take my sperm and put it in someone else that is not my wife"? Nestor looked confused and like you wanted him to walk into this trap.

"Maybe. There wont be any contact with your junk and her junk. Itll be through a doctor. So calm down. You're not sleeping with anyone but me". You laughed as he sighed a sigh of relief.

"Alright. Why dont you go to the doctor and make sure that they can't do anything before we jump to those options".

"I'm tired Nestor. I'm tired. I dont want anymore doctors".

"Just go for me. We cant give up".

"Alright. Fine. For you but if they say they cant. I'm done. My body has been through enough. I cant". You shake your head. Tears rolling down your cheeks. Your heart has been broken so many times and you couldnt go through that again. Your heart couldn't bare it.

"What brings you in today"? Your doctor asked, she probably already knows the answer.

"IVF isn't working. I've tried everything you said. I keep getting my period every month. I'm just, it's like it's no hope for me". You explain.

"How long does the periods last"?

"Two maybe three days but it's like spotting. No heavy flow".

"Okay.  I'm going to do a ultrasound and see if we can see anything".

"I'm telling you theres nothing in there". You sigh laying back on the table.

"You never know". She said before stepping out the door.

She came back in with a nurse and the machine. The gel she squirted was cold on your stomach.

"Alright, let's see what we got".

Looking at the screen, you saw nothing. Blank uterus. "Told you".

"Dont be so sure. What is this"? She pointed to the screen and saw two little jellybeans just floating around in your uterus.

You about hopped off the table when she said that. "How is that possible". You asked about in tears.

"Well, when you're on the IVF, occasional spotting happens and some mistake it as their period. But you're pregnant. With twins. It's to early to tell what they are but they seem healthy". She said taking pictures of the jellybeans.

"Oh my God. Nestor is going to freak when I tell him". You gasped as she handed you the ultrasound photo.

"Thank you so much for everything. You have no idea what this means to us". You hugged her crying.

"I think I have a idea. I too had a hard time having children so I know what it feels like to get that news that you're pregnant". She smiled and gave you a prescription for prenatal vitamins.

"Thanks again". You said before leaving her office.

You were so excited to tell Nestor that he was going to be a daddy. But then the nerves kicked in. What happens if this is like last time? What if you lose them or even one? You were going to take every precaution there was. You put yourself on bedrest and a healthier diet. Thinking those could help to keep the babies.

Getting home, Nestor was already there. Walking into the house, he was cooking. Something so good it made your mouth water.

"What are you cooking? I hope you made tons of it"? You moaned when you got to the kitchen, the aroma getting stronger.

"Its my fathers recipe. I knew you would like it. It's great for getting women pregnant. Just look at me". Nestor said with a wink coming over to you and kissed your head. You wrapped your arms around him.

"How was the doctors? Everything okay"? He asked looking down at you.

"Everything's wonderful". You grinned from ear to ear.

"Really? Just last night you didnt want to go.  What changed"?

"Oh just the two little lives growing inside me". You swiftly pulled out the sonogram and put it in his face with a squeal.

"You're joking? What? How? Oh my god". He picked you up, kissing your lips.

"Babies. We had tons of sex and oh my god is right. We finally did it. The doctor said they look healthy".

"Oh baby, I'm so happy and so very thankful". Nestor held you tight. All his dreams were coming true.

"Me too.  But I'm not taking any chances. I'm putting myself on bedrest and we're going to start eating healthier foods. No delicious tub of icecream or chips or tacos". You frowned licking your lips. Now the cravings start.

"Babe, you can have all of that just eat it a little at a time. Foods not going to hurt you. Might make you nauseous or give you heartburn but you have to eat".

"I know. I'm just scared. Because we dont know what caused the miscarriages. Anything can be a trigger. We just have to be careful and watch out for signs".

"We will. Um, can we not tell anyone until we know for sure we're out of the woods"?

"I was thinking the same thing. I don't want to get anyone's hopes up if they will be torn apart. I'm scared to get excited but I am. I cant for these jellybeans to be in our arms. Safe and sound". You squeezed Nestor. He was so happy. But the little voice said something could go wrong. Praying that it didnt.

During your pregnancy, you had one scare but that was it. You made it to 38 weeks then your water broke. Then the real nervousness kicked in. The babies room was prepared and you had everything they needed. You were just nervous about them getting here.

Luckily they came out healthy and strong with tons of hair.

Cruz Valentino Oceteva weighed 7lbs 4oz. He looked just like Nestor and a head of hair. Nestor tried to braid it like his. He succeeded in doing so. Heartburn was the worst.

Maya Jade Oceteva weighed 6lbs 2oz. Se was a lot smaller than her brother but was a strong little girl. You know how they say you carry them for nine months and they come out looking like their father. That's true. She looked like Nestor but with your nose. And a head full of hair that you put little bows in.

God you were so lucky to have Nestor and the babies. Life was complete. Well maybe. Another kid wouldnt hurt. Or three. But for now you were going to enjoy the baby moments and the smell of their little heads. Which you and Nestor took turns sniffing each of the babies heads.

[violetnotez]

matchup for drew  |  JJK

Request a matchup here

Hey babe! So I match you up with....

 Ｉｎｕｍａｋｉ Ｔｏｇｅ

Look at this pretty boy like ughhh youre so lucky 😭

Inumaki is incredibly loyal-he wouldn’t ever ever give you a reason not to trust him

Also, don’t let his quietness fool you-he is a total trickster/prankster and will always be doing something silly to get you to laugh

He really likes training with you-to him it’s quite therapeutic and a great way to bond with you

But he’s cheeky at times if your doing close combat-he’ll just quickly plant a kiss on your cheeks to get you distracted so he can pin you down 💀

He thinks it’s amazing you’re so skilled in so many sports-it takes a lot to train, and he respects it a lot!

The one he really wanted you to teach him was rollerskating-one day he’d just walk into your room, hand holding a pair of new skates and just plainly saying “Tuna?”

Tuna meaning Please teach me, I know you’re busy but I’m bored and I just wanna have some fun please please please 🥺

He caught on to it really quickly, and in no time you two were blasting music and making trips to the grocery store for some sweets as quick little dates

Inumaki at one point tried to teach Panda and Maki, but Panda was totally decked out in headgear and shoulder pads and still ate shit every 2 seconds 💀

When he first met you, he honestly wasn’t really that intimidated

He still got that nervous rush of meeting someone new, but he was used to meeting intimidating girls-Nobara and Maki being perfect examples of that

Maki was so relieved to have another girl, and you two hit it off amazingly-you two would always be paired together cause you work great off each other as partners and as friends

Panda is just so lovingly protective for you, like if you feel uncomfy in public at times or just feel awkward in general, he’s right there to just give some support 🖤

He just approached you like he would with them, just a quick nod of his head and maybe a reply like “Bonito flakes” to be respectful

He is really intrigued by you-he’s naturally curious, how could he not when he has someone new and pretty in front of him~

But he gave you space, not wanting to intrude or make you uncomfy

But once you begin to open up, OH MY GOD he is so happy!

You get along well with his friends, it’s almost hard to imagine you not being in there friend group at one point-

Whenever something makes you smile, he starts noticing it makes him feel all fluttery inside,,,

Or when he is able to make you chuckle, he finds himself smiling but so grateful he’s able to hide his cheeks with his clothing-

He isn’t oblivious, he obviously knows he caught feelings but he’s super scared to say anything

Cause-how could he even tell you? It’s not like he could just walk up to you and say “Let’s go on a date-“

You could say no and reject him....or even worse, he could make a terrible choice of words and force you on a date by accident with his cursed technique

The 2nd option was too terrifying to him, so he opted to text you a picture of him holding a sign that says “Date?” like a prom proposal, his lilac eyes unable to look at the screen

He definitely begged Panda to take it, cause the picture was pretty fuzzy and theres a furry finger on a corner of the photo

But you thankfully said yes, and Inumaki took you to a roller skating rink, thinking you’d feel comfortable there to hang out. Which was a great plan, until Toge realized he didn’t know how to rollerskate

Panic ensues

The whole time he was desperately trying to repeat to himself “Don’t fall, don’t fall, don’t fall-“ and still look cool at the same time 💀

It was still cute though, and after you helping him out a bit he caught on very quickly

Still did fall a few times, but when you would giggle and help him up he felt a lot better about it 🥺

Needless to say, was probably the main reason he asked you later on to teach him how to skate properly 💀

And also the main reason your guys’ second date was at a very flat forest with little shrines and fish ponds to look into

Inumaki reallllyyyy craves physical touch, but he never forces it upon you

At the beginning of your relationship, it was really delicate touches, from intertwining pinkies to resting his head on your shoulder

But then it slowly became more and more as you two got more comfortable

This dude will just full on run behind you and wrap his arms around you if hes tired

Or snatch your hand and squeeze it tightly if hes afraid you might be in danger

Does this really cute thing where he puts his forehead on yours and stays there for a sec- dont ask him why he does it, he’ll start blushing but he just likes feeling close to you like that  🥺

Songs for Your Relstionship: Paradise by Coldplay,  Beautiful People by Ed Sheeran, Timeless by We Three

Drabble:

“Toge, what are you doing-and when did you get those?” you questioned, your eyes scrunched up in confusion as you eyed the white haired boy in front of you.

Inumaki was standing in your doorway, his jacket zipped up fully so only his violet eyes were visible. In his hands were a pair of roller skates, the wheels a clear plastic while the shoes being a periwinkle blue. 

All he did was simply walked into your room, knowing it like the back of hand from countless visits as he picked up your skates that had been left on the floor from the day before. He simply held out both pairs, one simple word of “Tuna” presented out of his mouth.

Your eyebrows furrowed even more, head tilting slightly as you shifted on your bed.

What the hell did he want you to....

“Do you want me....to teach you how to roller skate?”

You saw him instantly light up, obviously ecstatic you had understood him so quickly. He simply nodded his head once as confirmation, violet eyes wide with relief and anticipation.

Inumaki had been bristling to get back in those skates after he had done such a disastrous attempt at your first date. Everytime he thought about how much he had fallen he always internally cringed, almost able to still feel the bruises on his rear that lasted days after.

You had looked so graceful and so happy that day, like you were gliding on top of water as you did laps around the rink or simply to just pick him off the ground after he had eaten shit. He wanted to be able to do that with you, to be able to have picnic dates at the park or just glide over to a store to buy some sweets and ice cream-he had so many cute ideas planned it was almost overwhleming.

He just needed to learn how to skate without painting his body in bruises first.

“Oh, Toge, Im so sorry-” he heard you saw, his heart falling slightly at the sound of guilt in your voice, “but I have some assingments I have to finish....maybe we can do it this weekend?”

That happy expression he had had a few moments before faltered slightly, his lips pursed and nose scrunched under his jacket. 

But Inumaki was persistent-he wasnt one to take no for an answer, especially when he knew how to get what he wanted with a few dirty tricks.

Toge took a few steps towards you, his knee landing on top of your bed and making it dip under his weight, wrapping his arms around you in an inescapable hug.

Inumaki was pretty clever, as he knew it was hard for you to resist him when he was being clingy. He simply nuzzled his head into the crook of your neck, white hair tickling your jawline, hands squeezing your sides gently.

You sighed, rolling your eyes slightly with an amused smirk as your propped yourself on your elbows and looked down at your boyfriend, who was clearly milking it to get what he wanted.

“Youre not gonna let go unti l say yes, huh?”

Inumaki picked his head up, violet eyes soft yet mischeivously as he shook his head gently-

This brat wasnt going to let go until you did exactly what he wanted. 

You sighed exaperatedly, looking up at the ceiling as you felt Inumaki chuckle against your stomach.

“Fine then...” you gave in, finding it adorable how quickly his face light up.

“-But you have to buy me snacks and be my study partner for the rest of the night.”

Toge instantly smiled, the crinkles of the expression showing around his eyes. Getting you to teach him how to roller skate, and have a study date right after? This day was getting better and better for him.

“Salmon!” he agreed quickly, shuffling off of your form and handing you your skates- you were going to make him a pro after today, and he was more than ready.

I hoped you liked these, and thank you for requesting!! <3

[nikrangdan]

photographer!ni-ki

pairing: photographystudent!ni-ki x gender neutral reader

genre: fluff, comedy

description: every time you went to the park you noticed a mysterious boy who would take pictures of the scenery on his cute little camera. you liked to see what he’d take pictures of from afar but one day you noticed his camera pointing straight at.. you

for ni-ki’s bday!!!! HAPPY BIRTHDAY LOVE <33 sorry i posted a day late but i hope u all enjoy!

———

“y/n!”

you groan before getting out of your bed at 10am

it was a saturday why was your mom yelling at u ..

you walked into the kitchen all sluggishly and rubbed your eyes

“you need to start taking suki on walks to the park. you need the exercise too.” your mom doesn’t even spare u a glance before walking out the door to run some errands

right

u forgot u were taking care of ur cousins dog while he was out of town... her name was suki

shes a little shiba inu AND SHES THE CUTEST THING EVER!!!!

WELP

u dont even have a choice anymore

u got somewhat ready before heading out with suki in your arms

shes so soft and fluffy

though u dont like to admit it, u kinda agreed with ur mom about u needing to exercise and get out the house

you’ve been cooped up in your room for days with no social or nature interaction

so

the park was about a 10 minute drive from ur house

and it was actually a really pretty park...

there was a lake and really pretty flowers everywhere and alot of gazebos and benches

and a nice open field of greenery

it basically looked like a park out of a movie

so you weren’t suprised that there was a decent amount of people there

but not too much thankfully.. or else you would’ve driven to another park with less people

you got out the car with suki and put her on the leash

let the walking begin!!!!

it was a really nice day out... the sun was shining but it wasnt too hot or cold

you led her onto the sidewalk and she began sniffing at the grass around her

whenever a few people would pass they would coo at how adorable she was

it wasnt until 5 minutes later that ur eyes locked onto a figure infront of the lake

you were just walking with suki in silence.. admiring the scenery

until u caught sight of a boy

u could only see his back but u noticed the camera over his shoulder

he was standing in one of those photographer poses where like one leg is bent and kind of out while his back is hunched to get that perfect angle of a shot

he was infront of the sidewalk railings where the lake begins and he was taking photos of the scenery across from it

it was a beautiful sight honestly

there was another sidewalk but behind it was colorful trees and blossoming flowers and bushes

u understood why he’d take pictures of it

you didnt see his face but u kind of acknowledged the boy before walking past him with suki

basically thinking he was just another passerby that you noticed making a single appearance in your life and never expecting to see him again

OH BOY U WERE WRONG

the next time you see him is 3 days later at the same park

you were walking suki again but this time at 7pm after dinner

the sun was almost done setting so the sky was getting darker but there was still a hint of the orange circle peeking from below

this time you walked further down the sidewalk path towards the scattered gazebos

and you noticed the same boy again

this time he was sat in one of the gazebos with his tiny camera in his hands

his back was hunched over again and he was looking closely at the pictures he had taken

‘oh its him again’ u thought

and that was it

LOL

u just acknowledged him in ur head AGAIN before u thought nothing of it and continued ur walk with suki

so the NEXT time u saw him was another 2 days later at 7pm again

you wanted to take suki on a quick walk

but you got tired after like 10 minutes so you sat down on a blanket u brought

suki was just laying next to u while u were on ur phone

it wasnt fully dark out yet and there was still a few people in the park

the fairy lights that were placed around were lit up already

it was super pretty and the weather was nice

after staring at ur phone for a few mins u looked up just to look around

and u saw Him again

wow

why do u keep seeing him !?!?!

his back was faced towards u like always

and he was like 40 feet away from u so he looked so tiny

but u could tell it was him because of his blond hair and black coat he always wore

you kind of zoned out and unfortunately ur eyes were trained on his back without u even noticing

and he

turned

around

for the first time EVER!!!!

its like he sensed someone staring at him

but yes he turned around with his camera in his hand

the first thing u noticed was that he got a new camera

it was a larger black one

definitely more expensive

Awe good for him!!!!!

and then u glanced up to see his face

and u made EYE CONTACT

u looked away so fast

because

He was SO CUTE.............

u awkwardly started looking to your left and tried turning ur face away from him

‘oh look at those beautiful um... birds.. yeah’

hopefully he didnt notice

*nervously sweats*

u didnt dare look back in that direction so u spent the rest of your evening in the park on ur phone or playing with suki

eventually it reached 8pm so u packed up ur stuff and went home

U were still kind of thinking about that boy....

so u were like

i need to go back

and u did Lol

u went back the next day at 6pm this time with suki

it was lighter out and the sky was beautiful

perfect for a certain boy to be taking photos

*evil laugh*

u were walking for like 15 minutes and u didnt see him anywhere :((((

the one time u go there for HIM

u settled down under a tree

suki immediately went on the blanket when u sat down too

you played tug of war with her and fed her some treats while playing

playing with her for 10 minutes straight definitely tired u out so u laid down and just stared at the sky

it was a faded blue turning into orange and pink

U were kinda bored so u sat up and started petting suki

you would occasionally glance up at the strangers walking past u

and

let me tell u what Happened..

u looked up at another lady walking her dog and went like

‘aweee that dog is so cute’ in ur head

and u took ur eyes off the dog and glanced to ur right

idk bc u felt like it

AND GUESS WHAT U SEE???!??????

THE BOY

LIKE 20 FEET AWAY

STANDING IN THE MIDDLE OF THE FIELD

AND HE HAD HIS CAMERA UP TO HIS FACE

and it WAS POINTED AT U ??!?!

as soon as u looked in his direction he jumped and put his hands down

he like

Blushed????? and awkwardly smiled u know rubbing the neck and all that

he was embarrassed

ur cheeks were turning so red

BUT HE WAS SO ADORABLE

was kind of weird.... stalkerish but um

he cleared that up BECAUSE

He started walking over to u

he was wearing black jeans that were ripped on the knees with black high top converse

and a gray sweater with a black coat over it

HE JUST LOOKED CUTE OK

ur were like OMg []£{€]%[#{%€]£{

n he just Plop

he stood right infront of u basically towering bc u were sitting under the tree

suki noticed the boy and tilted her head like hmmmm???

u had the SMALLEST smile on ur face bc u wanted to seem friendly but not TOO friendly

he had his camera strap over his arm while he held it and his other hand was rubbing the name of his neck

“uh... sorry about that.. i didn’t mean to seem weird or anything!” he waved his hands infront of him to deny it

u just sat there while he talked like ❤️_❤️

“im uh taking photos for my class and i thought u looked nice so i took some pictures.. im really sorry i should’ve asked first now i seem weird or something im really-,”

u cut him off so he didnt ramble any longer

“no its okay! i get it” you gave him a warm smile and pet suki while she drifted to your side and kept her eyes on him

u both just stared at eachother for a few seconds before you spoke

“um.. would you like to sit?” you scooted over and made room for him in the blanket

WOW U WERE FEELING BOLD TODAY...

“uh sure” he set his camera down and sat beside u

“this is suki.. shes my cousins dog” u said when she climbed into his lap and started sniffing him

he grinned and pet her before looking up at you

“im ni-ki by the way” his cheeks turned a bit pink which u thought was cute

“y/n” you smiled

“suki seems to like you” u laughed

“so how long have you been working on this project or whatever?”

“oh um i started last week... i just have to make a portfolio of photos i take and turn it in” he said while keeping his eyes trained on suki

u noticed he didnt make eye contact with u often but u knew it was probably because he was nervous because u do that too

“can i see the pictures...?” u hesitantly ask him

his eyes light up when u say that

“yeah!”

AWE HES SO EXCITED

he picks up his camera next to him and clicks a few buttons

“oh by the way... ive noticed u at the park before! you’re always with the camera” you laugh

“ah yeah, this park is where most of my project photos are taken.”

he leans over and shows you the pictures on the device

“woah” you let out a gasp

he showed u the picture he took of you first

How does a picture look better than real life...

you’ve never really been into photography but now that you’ve seen his work u might just have to start getting into it

“this isnt even done yet, i still have to edit it so it’ll look even more perfect” he shyly says

“this is amazing what the heck” your jaw is Dropped

“thanks”

“i need to see the final result” u said because it was such a nice picture

“um.. if you give me your number i can show you it” he sent you a cheeky grin

SMOOTH.....

he was so AGGGHGGHG ur kind of obsessed

you two exchange numbers and talk about random things for a whole hour until he says he has to go

“it was really nice meeting you.. i had fun” he tells you as he starts standing up

suki is sleeping so he tries not to wake her up

“i had fun too” you smile

“would you like me to walk you to your car?”

A GENTLEMAN !!?!?!?!

“oh yeah, thanks”

you two spend another 2 minutes together as you walk side by side with suki in your arms and he held your blanket and bag for you

you reached your car and thanked him

“ill see you soon, dont forget to text me! and good luck on the project, i know you’ll do great”

“thank you..”

ni-ki’s cheeks turn pink once more before he turns around and starts walking away with a smile on his face

he is just the cutest thing ever

you definitely need to see him again

[brelione]

Please Dont Break My Heart Pt.1 (JJ Maybank X Reader)

Warnings:Not proof read,pretty much trash.

JJ would be lying if he said that he didnt have a thing for you.You were known pretty well as both a heartbreaker and a sweetheart.Neither of those really made sense,it was like trying to mix water and olive oil.It just couldnt happen.You were a kook but werent considered one of the bad ones that would stare in disgust at every pogue they saw.

You were actually known to be quite friendly with pogues,even dating a handful of them.You’d date someone for three months and then drop their asses with no explanation why.It was like clockwork.It seemed like you got bored easily,hopping from one boy to the next.

There was pretty much a line of boys,both kooks and pogues ready to shoot their shot,be yours for three months and then get their hearts broken.Unfortunately JJ could relate,wishing that you’d come up to him one day with that well known smile,shining eyes asking him to hang out sometime.He would consider himself lucky to even be so close to you,to hold your hand and touch your hair whenever he pleased.

Even if it only lasted three months and you were using him he wouldnt even care.He didnt even know why he wanted you so much or what he liked about you.He sat by a fire,Kiara and Pope within his view as he spoke to your most recent ex,a blonde boy named Dylan.He was sniffling,not understanding why you had left him.

John.B say next to JJ,interested in the conversation that was currently about you. “So what’s she like?Is she rude or like...I dunno.”JJ shrugged,trying to form his questions into actual words.Dylan huffed,staring into the flames. “No,man.She’s nice as hell and she’s funny and she dances around her living room and she likes to surf and bake and-and oh god I fucking miss her.”Dylan sobbed,wiping his tears.

JJ had heard the same story from eight guys,that you were sweet and genuine and how they thought they were different from the others until you broke them too.JJ felt bad for them of course but more than anything he wanted to know the reason for your constant heartbreaking and manipulating.He felt even worse because he wanted you to manipulate him.

He tried to listen to Dylan talk,zoning out eventually.Technically he was in the line of guys that were ready to have their heart broken and you probably knew that.That meant that he could be the next boy to be yours.It was wrong of him to think that way and he knew that.He had watched this pattern for two years now,waiting for his turn patiently and never daring to interfere but beginning to think about what would happen this time.He wanted this to be the best summer ever,to have a good time all the time.You could most definitely make this the best summer ever which meant that he needed to be number one in your line.

It had been a week since you broke Dylan’s heart.He was good to you,never yelled at you or treated you wrong.He let you take his hoodies and gave you forehead kisses and piggy back rides down the beach.You were his lockscreen and he was yours,doing whatever you wanted whenever you wanted,including braiding your hair for you and going for swims in your pool at three in the morning.

But he was getting too close to you and deep down you knew that nobody could be that perfect.You didnt want to hurt anyone which was why you let go of them so quickly and so easily,you’d hurt them more if you let them stick around.You didnt even know what your type was or if you even had one,you just needed something different.

You were definitely known for breaking peoples hearts which was definitely not a good reputation to have but it was better than being a drug dealer or a crackhead,both of which had been interested in you at one point.You wanted someone that was more like you,impulsive,excited,ready to try new things and have deep conversations at four in the morning.

You knew that none of the boys were really like that and you knew that they would just act like that in hopes of getting you to like them.There was only one boy that you could think of that fit what you wanted without pretending.That one boy was JJ Maybank.

You were nervous as hell to even look in his direction,knowing that he was probably disgusted by the thought of a rich,heartbreaking kook and wanted absolutely nothing to do with you.You had been single for a week,trying to figure out what to do about JJ.You didnt want to be with him and then leave him,you admired him far too much for that.

But you knew that you wanted to be with him.Kooks and Pogues would stare at you,drool practically falling from their lips as you walked by,waiting to see what you would do next.You sighed,scrolling through your phone,deciding to delete your photos of Dylan,pouting as you did so.You just had to hope that he was over by now,you had let him down gently anyways.

You got up off your bed,deciding to leave the house for the first time in three days,pulling on a black one piece bathing suit,a tshirt and shorts over it.It was 11 AM which meant the beaches wouldnt be crowded yet but luckily you knew your way around The Cut.That included the small rocky beaches that Dylan had shown you during a surfing trip to watch the sunset.

You got into your car,your surfboard already tied to the roof.You stopped at a Dunkin Donuts drive thru to grab a large iced coffee on the way,listening to your playlist as you drove to The Cut.You remembered Dylan taking you down a dirt road that was supposed to be covered in cement but never ended up happening.

You pulled onto the side of the road with a sigh,putting your phone in your backpack that contained a towel and a bag of m and m’s,swinging it over your shoulder and standing on your tip toes so you could pull your surfboard off the top,carrying it by your side as you walked down the dirt hills,coming out at the rocky surfing spot that was well hidden by trees.

JJ shocked himself when he woke up before noon,the others still asleep.He had sighed,debating on getting up or going back to sleep.He wasnt sure what made him want to go to the hidden surfing spot that was a good ten minute walk from John.B’s.He didnt know why he wanted to wiggle his toes in the small,smooth pebbles so badly.

He was already in his bathing suit from the night before,getting up and ditching the idea of surfing,just wanting to swim for a bit.His converse smacked off the dirt,trying his best not to slip and fall on his way down the hill,holding onto the trees for balance before landing onto the pebbles,eyebrows furrowing when he noticed another person was already here.He froze up when he realized it was you,laying on top of your surfboard that rested on the pebbles,arms crossed and eyes closed,not caring about the world.

He considered turning around and running away,grinning when he noticed you werent here with a boy.THat meant that you were still single and nobody was ready to pounce on him if he attempted to talk to you.Your head turned to look at him,scared for a moment when you thought he was Dylan. “JJ?”You asked curiously,sitting up to look at him at a proper angle.

He cussed,realizing it was too late to turn around now that you saw him.He grinned,walking towards you,looking down. “Yeah.”He answered,trying really hard not to grin,trying not to blush or back away out of embarrassment. “Hi.”You answered,staring up at him,not knowing what to say or do. “Hi.”He replied,sitting down on the pebbles across from you.

 “So like,what are you doing here?”He asked,trying to make conversation.He was probably the biggest flirt on the island and you were fantastic as manipulating and charming people.Why was this so hard? “I dont know,it’s just a nice day and I thought i’d surf but the waves suck today.”You shrugged,looking out at the calm,glittery water.He nodded,agreeing. “Yeah.You ever surf during a storm?”He asked,tugging at the hem of his shirt.

You grinned,nodding. “Yeah,I tried that once or twice.I wiped out and like,almost died so that sucks for me.The waves were pretty good though,not gonna lie.”You answered,remembering that adventure from a month back.Dylan was so worried the whole time,watching from the beach as you disappeared under the waves,coming back up a few moments later to gasp for air. 

“Yeah,same thing happened to me last year.I scraped my whole leg.”He admitted,trying his best not to stare at you.You turned on your surfboard,grabbing your coffee and taking a sip of it.He peeled at his fingernails,considering getting up and going into the water. “Was it worth it?”You asked,making him smile. “Um,yeah id say so.”He replied,his face becoming red. 

“I probably should’ve checked the weather before I left the house,its a really shitty day.I mean,before you got here obviously.”You took another sip of coffee,mixing the sugar at the bottom.He was a blushing mess,fighting the temptation to hide his face in his hands. “So um...where’s Dylan?”He asked,wanting to see how you’d react.You let out a sigh,biting the inside of your cheek. “It just wasnt meant to be,you know?”You asked,dissapointed when you realized he was probably just trying to get in your pants.

He nodded,understanding. “Yeah,I get that.How do you know when somethings meant to be?”He asked,slowly becoming more comfortable with you.You shrugged,not even knowing the answer.You had loved people before,you had loved all the people you had dated.You just werent in love with any of them.It just never felt right which definitely scared you.SOmetimes you wondered if you ever would love anyone like that. 

“I dont even know,dude.”You admitted,standing up on your surfboard,hopping onto the pebbles,taking off your shirt and shorts,feeling JJ’s eyes glued to you as you bent over to put your clothes into your bag. “But I do know that it’s hot as fuck out here and that water looks nice so im going to go drown.”You grinned before walking down to the water,going up to your hips,letting out a sigh of relief when your burning heels hit the cool water.

JJ admired you from a far,covering his face with his hands when your back was turned to him,grinning like a fucking idiot.He finally decided to get up and join you,pulling off his tank top and hat,dragging his feet through the cold water,standing next to you,glancing over at you every couple of minutes,trying to figure out what you were staring at that you found so interesting.

 “What are we looking at?”He asked,not seeing anything.You shrugged,wiggling your toes in the sand. “I dont know,just the clouds I guess.”You answered,looking up at him.He licked his lips,just watching you.He had never been physically close to you for longer than a minute or two even if he felt some sort of emotional connection to you since the moment he saw you.

It was a Saturday night at the beginning of June.A boneyard party was taking place,loud music,shitty beer,heated make out sessions and random games of truth or dare.Everyone was having a good time,doing whatever they pleased and getting absolutely fucking wasted.

JJ had been sipping a cup of beer,trying to listen to Pope when he heard laughter,turning to see where it was coming from.You were on Dylan’s back,your legs around his waist,arms wrapped around his shoulders,afraid you’d fall off.JJ couldnt take his eyes off of you the whole night,watching as you sat on Dylan’s lap,the boy leaving small kisses on your neck,forehead and cheeks.

It made JJ’s heart hurt,wishing it were him.On the other hand he almost wanted to yell at Dylan and call him an itiot for thinking he was different than your ex’s while another part of him wanted to yell at Dylan and try to figure out what made him so special that you spent so much time around him.JJ’s jaw clenched when he watched you kiss Dylan,wishing it were him that you were kissing.When you left the party you were wearing Dylan’s sweatshirt,holding the boys hand and probably going back to your place.

“How’d you find this place?It’s pretty well hidden.”He looked back at the empty beach,trying to figure out if you had walked because he hadnt seen your car.You looked down into the clear water,trying to figure out how far you’d be able to go without slipping under the water. 

“Uhh….Dylan showed it to me.”You replied,not wanting to make things too awkward.He nodded,not pushing any further. “I feel like Dylan didnt deserve you not gonna lie.”He admitted.Sure,he had spoken to Dylan before and thought he was an okay guy.He wasnt an asshole but he just wasnt worthy of you in JJ’s eyes.

You giggled quietly at the statement,shaking your head. “You barely know me,JJ.How do you know what I deserve?”You asked,genuinely curious for his answer.He pouted,eyebrows knitting together in frustration. “Alright,here’s what ive learned about you in like,the last fifteen minutes.”He began,a small smile on his face.You nodded,waiting for him to continue.

 “So,you like dunkin donuts,you like going on adventures for the experience and you dont really worry about consequences,you like to relax most of the time and I really want to get to know more about you.”He watched your puzzled expression,a nervous grin on his face. “You want to know more about me?How would you do that?”You asked,enjoying how nervous you could make him.

He glanced down to your lips,licking his own. “You know...a date.”He mumbled,chewing on his bottom lip. “You want to go on a date?What makes you worthy of that?”You teased,using his words against him.He rolled his eyes,looking down into the water. “I mean...I dunno,you’ll have to find out for yourself.Do you want to maybe go night swimming or something later tonight?I know a spot.”He offered,remembering the small waterfall that he had gone to with John.B and Pope last year.

You thought about it.JJ seemed sweet from what you knew but it would still be weird to go to a hidden area alone at night with someone you just met.But then again if things went south you could just kick him right in the dick. “Sounds like a date,Maybank.Just come by my house whenever,i’ll drive.”You told him,deciding that you should just leave.

There were no waves to surf or much to do so it would probably be wise to go back to your house and do your laundry and take a shower.His heart thumped in his chest,feeling a bit light headed at the thought of being yours.THere was no way this was real,he thought as he watched you walk from the water,swinging your backpack over your shoulder,getting your shoes on,holding your board and disappearing into the trees and out of his view.

He had rushed back to John.B’s,looking through every single shirt and every single pair of shorts that he had there,trying to find a good combination.He couldnt wait for John.B to wake up,shaking him by the shoulders until he was swatting the blonde’s hands away.

 “What?”He asked,sitting up in his bed. “Its my turn!”JJ exclaimed,not helping with the confusion. “What?”John.B asked again,making JJ sigh. “God,keep up!Its my turn to be hers!”JJ was far too excited for his tired friend,the words sounding like static. “Who?”John.B asked,not thinking.JJ rolled his eyes,grabbing his friend by the arm and into the guest room-JJ’s room.

 “Which outfit should I wear?”JJ asked,gesturing tot eh outfits he had laid out on the bed.He had waited over a year for this night,he shouldve prepared an outfit the moment he heard that you and Dylan had broken up. “I dont fuckin know.I dont know what girls are into.”John.B yawned,JJ’s eyes widened as he realised the problem,running into the living room to shake Kie back and forth.

 “What?”She grumbled,too tired to open her eyes. “God,fuck.”JJ cursed,throwing the girl over his shoulder and bringing her into the room,her shouts becoming annoying when he finally set her down. “Which one?”He asked,looking at the outfits.

 “For what?”She asked,looking down at the clothes. “Dammit!Im going on a date tonight and I cant mess this up.”He sighed,tugging at his hair.  “A date with who?”Kiara asked,not quite understanding.JJ wasnt the type to go on dates.What had changed? “(Y/N).”JJ answered,making Kiara’s heart drop. “Are you kidding?Come on,JJ.You know whats going to happen!”She exclaimed,her words changing nothing.

 “Does it really matter?”He asked,really just wanting to know what outfit to wear.Kiara smacked his arm,clearly mad. “Shes going to break you like she does to everyone!Why her out of all people?Cant you find a girl who’s not a play?You guys are just going to play eachother and hurt everyone!”She exclaimed,John.B nodding in agreement. “Oh,vomit!”JJ exclaimed,making the decision for himself,folding the clothes carefully and placing them on the bed.

 “Im serious,JJ!She’s gonna pretend to love you and then you’re gonna fall in love and then shes gonna break you and come running to us!”Kiara shouted,sighing loudly.JJ simply rolled his eyes,kicking his two friends out,deciding he no longer needed their opinions.He tried on the outfit,jean shorts and a gray kildare t shirt,figuring he could wear his red hat with it.

He was far too nervous for tonight.He had heard about you going on a date once only for it to go nowhere,never seeing the boy again.The boy was Max,a seventeen year old brunette that went to boneyard parties and had dropped out of highschool during junior year.JJ let his curiosity get the best of him,asking about it. “So how’d it go?”JJ had asked,sipping his beer.

Max sighed,shrugging his shoulders. “I think I was too nervous the whole time,she just wasnt really into me.She kissed me though so I think it was worth it.”Max grinned at the memory.JJ found himself thinking about you later that night as he always did,thinking differently this time.

He wanted to know what your kisses would feel like,if they were gentle or rough and where you would put your hands.He saw you kiss Dylan before,your hands in the pockets of the boys’ shorts or in his hair.JJ had imagined what that would feel like,even attempting to lucid dream but everyone knows he isnt patient enough for shit like that.

Night time came way too quick.He had showered,trying to make his hair nice for you even if he was going to place a hat on top of it anyways.His hands were gripping onto the bathroom sink tight,breathing in and out slowly,trying to remain calm before getting dressed,putting on all of his rings.

He knew where your house was.It was one of the biggest houses on the island and the driveway was painted with clouds,rainbows and mermaids so it was easy to find.He ran down the dark streets,hoping nobody would call the cops on him.He walked up your colorful driveway,stopping when lights came on across the front yard.

He didnt know what set them off,wondering if your parents knew he was coming.THe door opened,revealing you in a yellow dress,the material only going halfway down your thighs,a leather jacket hanging off of you,black and yellow vans to match.

He felt his face go red,biting his lip. “You look really-um you look really pretty.”He chuckled,feeling embarrassed.You grinned,opening the garage by typing the pin into the key pad,your black car sitting there and waiting patiently for you. “Where are we going?”You asked,taking out your keys,about to get in when he stopped you. 

“Can I drive?”He asked,giving you puppy dog eyes.You sighed,holding your keys tight,eventually giving in. “If you crash my car I will kill you.”You warned him,getting in the passengers seat that you hadnt sat in in forever.He got in,almost laughing.He had never been in such an expensive car before,pulling out of the garage,the door closing behind him. 

“Seriously though,if we crash I will kill you.”You spoke seriously,making him smile. “I know,princess.”He replied,beginning the drive down the smooth road,hitting bumps once the tires rolled into The Cut.Somehow you ended up holding his hand,your thumb resting on one of his veins,the coolness of the metal rings made a slight shiver go up your spine.

He tried so hard not to squeal,imagining this for nearly two years.He rubbed the back of your hand lightly with his thumb,trying his best to remain as calm as possible,pulling over in the familiar area. “It’s right down here.”He told you,squeezing your hand lightly before letting go.

THe two of you got out of the car,your heart beat quickening as you followed him through the woods,using a flashlight that he had brought.You could hear the waterfall,glad it wasnt too far away.THe two of you emerged from the trees and into a clearing,a slow moving rive right in front of you,a small waterfall to your right.He was focused on you,watching as you took it all in,the area being lit up by the little bit of moonlight.

You took off your jacket,unzipping the dress to reveal a white bikini underneath,placing them on top of your bag so they wouldnt get wet or dirty.He smiled,tugging off his shorts and t shirt,walking into the cold shallow water,knowing where the deep parts were.

You came in soon after,deciding to just sit in the shallow water while he jumped off the rocks and into the deep,coming up to the surface with his hair soaked and fallen into his face.He wiped it away,coming to sit next to you,admiring the waterfall. “So…”He tried to start a conversation,not quite knowing what to say.You smiled,looking over at him. 

“What?”You asked,your voice soft and smooth as you spoke.He leaned back in the water,not quite laying down. “So whats up with you?”He asked,reaching for your hand,smiling when you let him intertwine his fingers with yours. “In what way?”You asked,curious as to what he meant. “I mean you’re like,the Queen of the kooks yet you date pogues and hang around The Cut.Why?”He asked,his heels digging into the pebble below him.

You shrugged. “I mean,kooks aren't really impressive.They’re all the same,you guys have actual personalities.”You laughed,hoping he wouldnt ask the question you dreaded most.He nodded in agreement,sitting up properly.The light crashing of the water wasnt really noticeable anymore,he was too focus on the conversation.

 “I want you to tell me everything I should know about you within the next minute.Go!”He exclaimed,watching as you tried to think,surprised. “Um...um okay,my favorite color is (Y/F/C),I hate strawberry jelly,I have a dog named Hugo and hes literally the love of my life...I have slight caffeine addiction,I dont know.”You laughed,not ever thinking about this before.He nodded,urging you to keep going.

 “Uhh...my favorite show is Stranger Things,my favorite movie is The Outsiders because Dally,obviously...umm I still believe in mermaids and i’ve always wanted to build a castle.”You hoped that was enough,glad when he smiled.

 “You still believe in mermaids?”He asked,a goofy smile on his face. “Shut up,Maybank.This isnt fair,you have to tell me about you now.”You turned on your side,facing him completely.He looked shocked,not thinking that you would turn the question back on him. “You have a minute-starting now.”You announced,his thoughts moving to fast for his mouth to keep up.

 “Okay,ummm...uhhh….I’ve always wanted to live in Yucatan,my favorite color is blue...I dont have a favorite TV show...I like the Harry Potter movies but i’ve never read the books...growing up I always had a huge crush on Hermione and I believed in Santa Claus until I was twelve.I hate butterflies,I dont really like coffee because energy drinks are better and I go by JJ because I hate my actual name.”He finished,biting his lip.

You hummed,reflecting on what he just said. “Im a simp for Draco Malfoy.”You admitted,hearing him chuckle. “So you have a thing for blondes?”He asked,a cocky smirk on his face.You shushed him,rolling your eyes. “I mean,i’ve got a thing for gorgeous girls so I guess it works out.”He winked at you,a sly smirk on his face.

You felt your cheeks get hot,glancing away from him.He thought about what he was about to do for a whole two seconds,considering how it could effect his future with you. “(Y/N).”he mumbled,making you turn back to him.He waited a moment and a half before leaning in,pecking your lips lightly and pulling away,understanding why Max had spoke so fondly of the memory.

You bit your lip,pulling him into another kiss,your warm hand going into his wet hair,tugging at the slightly wavy locks.He smiled into the kiss,his hands ending up on your waist,trying to take in every detail of the moment that he knew would end soon.When you pulled away your hand remained in his hair,twirling it between your thumb and pointer finger.

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[sebspocketsquare]

Quarantine 5

Pairing: Bucky Barnes x Reader (online)

A/N: Heya guys! Here’s part 5, sorry it’s been a little bit. I had some trouble with this one because I really just wanted to get to part 6 LOL. Anyway, i hope you enjoy it! -T

Warnings: Flirting, language, quarantine, feels, fluff

The next morning, a string of texts wakes you. 

It’s J, letting you know his friend will be by in a couple of hours to install your security system and bring by groceries. 

He tells you to double check who’s on the other side of the door before opening it, and informs you that his friend's name is Sam.

Seems simple enough.

You get dressed, deciding to wear something a little nicer than the pajamas you’d been wearing lately. Makeup finds its way to your face and you even manage to brush your hair.

You could at least make yourself look human today, especially since you didn’t know how good of friends J and Sam were.. what if he went right back and told J you looked like you hadn’t bathed in weeks? 

That wouldn’t be good for your blossoming relationship…. friendship? Whatever it was.

You’re getting yourself a glass of water when someone knocks at your door. 

The couch had been moved back to its original position, and you look through the spyhole on your door to find a man standing there in a doctors mask with a backpack and bags of groceries in hand.

“Can I help you?” You ask through the door.

He makes eye contact with you through the spyhole. “I’m Sam, J’s friend. I’m here to install the security system for you?”

That was convincing enough for you. Opening the door, you offer a small smile. “Hi.. I’m uh.. I’m Clair.”

You can’t tell if he’s smiling through the mask, but he makes his way inside and sets the bags on the floor. 

“You mind if I take this off now? I promise I’m not sick.” He motions to the mask and you laugh softly. “No, go ahead. It’s fine. Just uh.. Stay six feet away.”

He removes his mask with a sigh of relief before flashing a pearly smile at you, “I’m Sam. Nice to officially meet you.” He looks familiar for a split second, but you convince yourself you’re merely imagining it.

Sam gets right to work with the install, and you take that time to put away the food and wine he’s brought. It’s too much for just you, it’ll last you months, but with everything that’s going on, you don’t know if you’ll even be ready to leave the house again anytime soon.

You make sure to shoot J a text telling him thank you.

Sam puts a device on each window and in each doorway of your apartment. A keypad is put right by your front door, and a panic button right beside your bed. He helps you set up a 4 digit pin that you’ll need to enter any time you come or go, and shows you how to set the alarm when you go to sleep at night. It’s so simple, but so secure.

J was right. It made you feel better. Safer.

Once everything is completely set up, he pulls a piece of paper from his back pocket and hands it to you. It’s an order form. For your computer and television. You’d made the decision to not let him replace your tablet. He was already doing too much.

“Oh..” is all you can manage to say as you look it over.

Sam chuckles in return, “He um.. he really cares about you, you know..”

Meeting his eyes, you risk asking him a personal question, “What’s your opinion in all of this..? How he feels about me?”

He looks taken back for a moment, but smiles fondly before he answers. “I’ve known him for awhile now, and.. He’s the happiest I’ve ever seen him when he’s talking to you.”

You can’t help but smile at that knowledge.

“And Clair?” 

You meet his gaze one more time.

“I know it’s probably weird for you, that he wants to take care of all of this for you, but.. let him. He’s a good man. He doesn’t have any ulterior motives. He just.. when he cares about someone, he’s all in.”

Your heart warms at his words and you nod slowly.

He smiles again before picking up his backpack and heading for the door. 

“Hey Sam?”

He turns to you just before he’s out the door.

“Tell J I said hi.”

He chuckles and shakes his head, “Will do… and don’t tell him what I said about him being a good man and all that…  he’ll never let me live it down.”

HIM

I know as soon as the system is installed because a crude outline of her apartment appears on my computer screen. 

I set alerts to let me know anytime someone approaches the vicinity, when she leaves and when she sets the alarm for the evening. If she presses the panic button, it alerts the authorities first and then me.

I have to take every precaution to keep her safe. 

I’m closing the window on my computer when Sam returns home. I hear him kick his shoes off and set his bag down before heading straight for the shower. He pokes his head in my room on his way there. “System is installed, also.. damn she is way out of your league.”

His observation makes my heart rate increase. “Wait, what? What does that mean?”

He laughs and shakes his head, leaving it at that as he continues on his way.

I find myself suddenly jealous that he’s gotten to see her with his own eyes and I haven’t.

“You could at least describe her for me!” I call after him, to which he just cackles.

My best friend is an asshole.

HER

You’re sitting on the couch watching random videos on your phone when a new message comes through from J.

[Sarge:] Everything go smooth? :)

You’re sure he already knows the answer, and you’re positive that Sam already told him all about you, but you decide to humor him anyway.

[clairv0yant:] Yes. :) Thank you again for everything.. I really appreciate you. I checked the tracking on the form that he gave me and everything should be here by the end of next week. 

[Sarge:] Doll, I promise you don’t have to thank me. I’m happy to be able to help you out. :) 

[Sarge:] It will be strange not gaming with you every night for a while, but.. We’ll just have to find another way to spend time together.

His words only cause the smile on your face to grow. He’s so sweet. So considerate. So genuine and unfathomably selfless. You weren’t sure what you’d done to earn the affections of such an amazing person.

[Sarge:] By that I mean.. expect phone calls every night ;) 

[clairv0yant:] That sounds perfect to me. :P

xxx

You spent more time on the phone with J over the next week and a half than you’d ever spent in your life. Constantly exchanging texts and making phone calls, but never once asking the other for a photo. Not that you weren’t curious, because you surely were, but you were afraid of what he expected you to be like. Did he already have an image of you in his head? An ideal Clair?

You’d tried to picture him several times, but failed at each attempt. He still remained a mystery to you.

When your new tech finally arrives, you nearly jump out of your skin with joy. You make sure to lysol the holy hell out of the shipping boxes before touching them, and once the product inside is removed and placed in the safety of your apartment, the useless cardboard goes into the recycle bin outside.

It takes you an hour and 45 minutes to get everything set up, but of course as soon as you’ve finished, J is insistent about playing.

It’d been so long, there was no way you were denying him.

You missed it just as much as he did.

“You know what I miss most?” You speak into your mic, keeping your eyes trained on the battle scene happening on the screen before you.

J hums a soft, “hmmm?” in response, trying to keep his focus too.

“Mexican food.”

He can’t help but let out a bark of laughter, obviously shocked at your most missed thing while locked away.

“Mexican food? Really?”

It’s your turn to hum a soft, “Mmmhm”.

He’s quiet for a few moments except for the sound of his keyboard clacking as he fights, determined to win this round.

When the word Victory appears on your screen, he speaks again.

“You know I um..” He pauses, and you can feel his anxiety seeping through the internet connection. “Nevermind, heh..”

“What is it?” The first emotion you feel is concern. What could he not feel comfortable telling you?

“Promise you won’t just laugh at me?”

That’s a promise you know you’ll be able to keep. “Of course, J. What’s up?”

There's a bit of silence on his end, and then you swear you hear his adam's apple bob in his throat in a gulp for courage. “When all of this is over, I.. I’d really like to take you out on a date..”

You’re stunned into silence, thankful that a new game has yet to start.

He must take the quiet as a negative response, because he immediately backtracks.

“I-I mean, that’s stupid right? You wouldn’t go on a date with some guy you met online.. Hell, I could be some cree--”

“I would love to.” You cut him off before he can ramble on too much.

“You-really?” You can hear the smile in his voice and it brings an even bigger smile to yours.

“But only if it’s mexican food.”

He lets out a soft chuckle, the rumbling of the sound making your heart flutter.

“I wish..” He stops himself again, letting out a little sigh, “I wish I knew when that would be though.. When all of this will be over.. I just.. I really want to spend time with you, Clair.”

A new match begins in the game, but you’re so distracted by his confession that you almost miss your window to pick your character.

“We’re spending time together right now, aren’t we?” You joke, but there’s a falter to your voice, a doubt. You know what he really means.

“You know what I mean, I.. I want to be there, with you.”

It’s your turn to exhale a sigh.

“I know what you mean..” A funny image comes to your head, and you find it slipping from your tongue before you can stop yourself. “What would a quarantine date consist of anyway? You sitting on the opposite side of my front door drinking beer, while I sit inside drinking wine?”

He’s silent.

Not even a laugh.

It’s a whole two minutes before he speaks again.

“You know.. That could work.”

TAGS: (I wasnt sure who to tag, so if you dont want to be, I’m sorry!! Just trying to get this out there. ALSO if you wanna be tagged INBOX ME! I tend to miss people in the notes :(  ).  @mindingmyownbusiness​ @plumfondler​  @buckybarnesappreciationsociety​ @loricameback​ @tinaferraldo​ @geminimoonbeamx​  @preserumsteverogers​ @moderapoppins​ @lowkeysebby​ @buckyshattergirl​  @jayattemptstoruletheworld​    @the-observant-fangirl​ @moondancewrites​ @moonbeambucky​ @trinityjadec​  @stevieang​  @bionic-buckyb​ @eyecandybarnes​ @propertyofpoeandbucky​ @promarvelfangirl​ @ballyhoobarnes​ @bucky-plums-barnes​ @cate-lynne​ @witchymarvelspacecase​ @imaginingbucky​ @theimpossibleg1rl​ @babygurl8840 @wonderlandmind4 @buckysthing​ @formulafun​ @curvybihufflepuff​ @fanficsformarvelkillme​  @shadyskit​ @lostinthoughtsandfeelings​ @reading–mermaid @fuckmestan​ @siliverin​ @verygraphicink​ @sallyp-53 @thatsbucknasty​ @steadyphantomcat​ @booktease21 @kiki5283 @lostinspace33 @drayshadow​ @theperditioncrasher​ @mmyepic​ @feelmyroarrrr@alien-beans @heartsaved​ @sideeffectsofyou​ @dreamingofonceuponatime​ @just-a-littlebit-of-everything​ @bluerorjhan​ @tarynsnotokay​ @jamdropx35 @turquoisekokiri​ @pinknerdpanda​​ @starkrobb​ @marvelgirl7​ @unscriptedtimetraveler​ @fangeekkk​ @wonderlandmind4​ @pinkisokay​ @mrsdaamneron​ @rynabarnesrogers​ @wish-i-had-something-better​ @stanning-seb-stan​ @oilersgirl35​ @vaisabu​ @paranoid-borderline-insane​ @bonkywobble​ @vikki-rogue​ @witchymegg​ @a--1--1--3​ @margetastic33​ @stuffandstuff-stuff​

[arthurflecksgirl]

Nothing but clowns /Arthurs POV

My version of the scene when Arthur watches the news on tv

Making food for mum is always a bit complicated. Much to think of, because there are always two questions: Should I put some sleeping pills in her oath meal or not? And if yes how many? I check and notice that I am running out of meds. Shit.

The plan for today is:

Visiting Dr Kane, going to the pharmacy afterwards and then go to Pogos.

Today`s not a usual visit at the comedy club. Today will be my day! I will tell my own jokes up on stage. I`m no longer the lonely man sitting alone on his table with a glass of water in the middle of the room. I will be the star up there and people will have a good laugh. Even Sophie. And I just know she will be there to see me. I hope she will get my humor- I`m sure she does because she was digging it in the elevator- and maybe she`ll like me even more afterwards. I would love to leave Pogos together, take her out on a date, have a coffee or something. Talking about how I write my jokes and what inspires me to write them. How it feels like when funny thoughts cross my mind and how much of it is hard work and how much just comes to me. Maybe she`ll be interested in that after watching my performance. Interested in me. I`ve heard that humor is important in a relationship and that woman prefer men with a good sense of humor. So maybe I will have a chance after all.

I dont hesitate to take the last two sleeping pills and crash them to mix it in my mother`s bowl. No way I would give her the chance to ruin my afternoon. Everything is planned out and I know she would freak or do something unexpected as soon as she watches me leaving the house all dressed up. She would make a big scene as soon as I`m coming home after a long night out. And I just don`t have the nerves to deal with her shit. Besides that, it`s not good for her health to get all excited or angry about something. So a little sleep will help us both.She`ll be all save and sleepy when I come home, not a worry on her mind about where her son might have been.

"Happy look, Thomas Wayn`s on TV" My mothers voice echoes through the living room. her voice always feels like an echo to me. Because its always the same words filling the room, over and over again. Crashing against the heavy walls  without a sound but her thin voice .

"Happy Happy Happy. Thomas Wayne. " Two words that make my ears bleed in one sentence. How does she do that? It`s getting worse. Her voice just makes me feel bad sometimes. I really do care about mum a lot but some days I feel triggered by her talking and I don`t know why. Its like she says something and I immediately feel like I should eighter crawl under a blanked and hide or punsh a fucking wall.

"Yes mother!" I try not to sound annyoed. Not that she would ever notice if I was. Or hurt. She never does. Mum would have made a common therapist. Just sitting there, repeating the same three sentences for years while looking right through you.

Mum as a therapist would be like:

"Thomas Wayne will be major soon. How does that make you feel? Thomas Wayne does have some enemies lately. Does that change your own opinion on him? Did you noticed how skinny you are? Thomas Wayne gained some weight instead of losing it . How do you feel about that?  Are you sad today, Happy? "

And of course all my answers would also echo through the room. Unheard and without making a sound while crashing through the windows. Breaking glass. And I would cut myself on that glass. Over and over again. And Penny would call the doctors,telling them I tried to hurt myself again. Not realizing that she was the one hurting me.

My answer to her questions would be "Happy was always sad. Every minute of his life. How does that make you feel?"

I get the bowl and crush the rest of the pills. My wet hair is sticking to my neck. I`m freezing a little bit while wearing my PJ  pants only . It`s always cold in here. This apartment represents peoples hearts.

"They`re asking him about those horrible subway murders" she says.

What? Oh my god. This caughts my attention. Now I notice that I wasnt paying attention to the news for the whole time. Somehow it didnt cross my mind that there will be something about me on the news anytime soon. I was wrong!

They thank Wayne for being here, in these difficult times. Difficult for who? For him?  As if he would care about what happened or about anyone who isn`t like him. As if some dead guys on the subway would effect him personally. Does he know what it means to have a difficult life at all? I`m aware of the fact that money doesnt solve all problems. I dont even think about money. I think about so many other things Thomas does have and he is nothing but an arrogant prick about, Looking down on others.

I leave the kitchen and make my way to the couch "Why him?" I ask, placing her bowl of food on the table.

Why is Thomas the one talking about the three dead guys anyway?

"Look like he gained weight" .

I knew she would ignore my question and care about his looks instead. Seriously, sometimes I get the feeling like she has a crush on him or something. There must be a reason for her fixation on this man.

"Yes all three worked for Wayne investments. Good, decent, educated."

So thats why he is talking about them.  All about the money, Wayne huh? I run my fingers through my hair, getting nervous.

"Although I didnt know any of them personally, like all Wayne employees, past and present. They`re family."

There he said it. He didnt even knew them. He`s just using them to make it seem like he cares.

The tv screen shows three photos. Each one of them a face of the subway guys. It feels strange to see them now after I killed them. My memory of their faces slightly differ but I remember what they did and how it felt.  My mind is racing, all over the place. Memories of their evil laughter. Flashbacks of the pain they caused me. Physically and emotionally. Their photos might look innocent but I know what kinda guys they were. I experienced and wittnessed it. But what does Wayne know? Or the tv guy? Nothing. No one was watching them while they almost kicked me to death. I was alone. I`m always alone.

"Did you hear that I told you we`re family" my mum says.

"Shhhh shhh shhh!" I want her to shut up. I just cant stand her voice right now. Especially not now. She really does think Thomas thinks of us as family because she worked for him decades ago. I can`t listen to this. Its getting all too much. The only voice I have to listen to right now is the guy on tv. I take a deep drag of my cigarette. It feels like breathing is getting harder. Something is going on. Not just inside of me but in this city. In the world. And it started with me. Am I the center of something? The beginning or the end? Am I everything at once? Does someone notice its me?

"There now seems to b a groundsweel of ani rich sentiment of the city. Its almost as if the less fortunate resitends are talking the side of the killer".

Thomas talks about how much of a shame this is and that this is one of the reasons why he is running for major. Gotham lost its way.

Oh you notice now? Where have you been all these years?

Its hard. So hard to watch peoples ignorance and how they use things to make themself stand in a better light. A light of lies.

They now ask him whats up with the eye wittness report of the suspect being a man in a clown mask.

Now the walls are closing in on me. I`m terrified but at the same time I am not. Unsure of how I feel I smoke my cig, not being able to blink while starring at the tv screen. This moment feels so much more like a daydream than so many dreams did. Is this truly happening? Are they really taling about a murder a did on the news? Is this my first time ever being on tv? Well, I gotta be honest here I always thought my first time on tv would be a lot different. But here I am.

So seems like there was someone wittnessing it. I should be worried now. I should freak and I know that. But what is bugging me much more is the fact that Thomas Wayne says "It makes total sense to me, because what kind of coward would do something that cold blooded? Someone who hides behind a mask. Someone who is envious of tose more fortunate than themselves. That the`re too scared to show they`re own face."

Thats it. Thats when I lose it. I`m trying not to let it show because of mum sitting in the same room with me but it`s hard. I`m good at hiding my feelings in front of her or in front of anyone in general but this is too much. The news are making a total different  story out of this, As if I was hiding behind a mask to go out an kill people. It was self defense for gods sake. I was wearing that damn clown make up because I was on my way home from work. Some shitty bullies started to attack a man in a clwon costume and now they are making him the bad guy? This is sick.

I never cared about money. I just wanted to have enough to take care of mum and be able to pay rent. Even my dreams about being famous were never about being rich. It was about being seen and loved.  But what do they know?

I thought I was living an illusion but they are living their very own illusions.

I feel my body tensing up. Every muscle. Every inch. My skin is getting tight. I lean back on the couch. I dont know what to do. I wanna get out of myself. Being me is getting unbearable again.

Another time being missunderstood.

They dont even know it was me and they still don`t get it right,

"And until those kind of people change for the better,those of us who made something of our lifes, will always look at those who havent as nothing but clowns". Wayne adds.

My legs start trembling. There is no way to hold them still. Bad sign. Very bad sign. I laugh to myself as I stare at the ceiling. What a joke. Great punshline with the clowns. I bet you are proud of yourself, Wayne. I bet you are. Always glad to be able to help to tell a joke.

They thank him once again while my mum tells me that this isnt funny.

I wanna say something but I better don`t. It`s not a good idea to ruin someone else`s punchline.

I`m going to explode, explode, explode.

Until I feel nothing.

I inhale the smoke, the only thing that proofs that I am still breathing.

Because I cant feel it. The only thing I feel is rage and my left hand grabbing my right wrist.

And this god damn candle that looks like a ginger cat staring at me.

@impulsiveclown @will-you-be-there @jokerownsmysoul @missjoker96 @arthurskitten @lynnesm @nonnymousse @gwynplaine89 @ajokeformur-ray@damnrightobsessedwithim @sgtsavoytruffle  @duhliriouss  @flowerglitterwoman @thirstforfleck @spookyhome @iartsometimes  @you-cant-cry-in-here @bustafatclownnut @jokerismyhubbie  @check-out-this-joker @darknessisafriend  @arthurhappyclown    @neon-umbrella-for-stella   @call-me-harley-quinn  @arthurjokersgirl  @raven-romanoff @ajokeformur-ray​ @ivedescoveredheathsjoker​

@aarthurfleckk @mylovelycrazyworld @clownalog @ajokerfangirl  @the-one-who-is-chaos @sabrinaeileensnape

[remindmetohaveherdrugtested]

Once upon a time

Title: Once upon a time

Prompt: Everything seems to be going perfecrly so why do you feel the need to self harm after being 'clean' for so long? A reader insert where the reader is struggling with self harm again and Morgan helps.

Author: remindmetohaveherdrugtested

Tags: #reader insert #Derek Morgan #Comfort

Trigger warnings: #self harm #blood mention #murder/kidnap #mild swearing

Sat in the back of the SUV, you rest your head against the cool glass of the window and stare into the small gap between Derek's headrest and the cars' frame. Your eyes focused on the steering wheel, held steadily in place by his hands, before flicking back to the oncoming traffic.

Your mind wasn't really there. It was flicking between a million and one thoughts that were barely forming before the next one took over. You should be happy. You had exactly what you wanted from life; a happy little family, a job that you loved, a beautiful house and friends that you could count on. So why were you feeling so numb? Once upon a time that was all you dreamed about.

"Are we almost there?" A sleepy voice from the front broke you from your thoughts and you moved your head.

"About 10 minutes" Dereks steady voice answered, not taking his eyes off the road. "I wouldn't go back to sleep if I were you".

You watched him glance quickly at Spence beside him who looked like he was about to fall back asleep at any moment. It was 2am and the case was quite urgent according to Hotch and Garcia. Derek had swung by to pick you and Reid up as neither of you drove and the rest of the team wouldnt be long.

It wasnt long until the SUV was pulled up beside the rest of the team who were just starting to grab their go bags from another SUV to board the jet. Quickly stretching, you hopped out of the car and went to the boot to pull out your black bag and sling it across your shoulders. "We good to go? I need to get some serious sleep before we land" You asked, forcing a tiny smile at the rest of them. You barely waited for Hotch to nod before you were walking up the steps to the door and entering the cabin.

Immediately you slung your bag into the overhead bin and then settled yourself onto the sofa out of the way, watching as the rest of the team joined you. Each member put their bags away before settling down in a chair. It wasnt long until the jet was airborne but you knew you wouldnt land for a couple of hours and it would be a half an hour drive to the hotel.

"I'll let you all get some sleep shortly. We're headed to Texas" You knew that already from the call that Garcia had made earlier. "We think we have a cold case re-emerging. 10 years ago 2 brown haired, blue eyed and low risk women went missing. 5 years later their bodies were found having only died recently. 5 days later 2 more victims went missing and their bodies have just shown up. If the unsub sticks to their schedule the next two victims will go missing in 5 days and we will loose the trail again. The victims both looked to be kept in relatively good condition, cause of death was a single stab wound through the heart. Crime scence photos are on your tablets to have a look at and then you should try to get some rest" Hotch finished.

-------------------------------------------------------

It was 7pm and Hotch had sent everyone back to the hotel for the night. You stood in the onsuite bathroom and stripped quickly to shower. As you got out you caught a glimpse of your arms in the mirror. Thin silvery lines marred them and although the last time you had cut yourself deliberately was years ago the lines had not fully faded yet. Your fingers traced them slowly. You weren't proud of it and no one else on the team knew about that part of your life. The familiar urge took hold of your chest. It was a deep and sinking feeling. Like you couldnt breathe. You knew that harming yourself would get rid of the feeling. It would allow you to feel anything other than the numbness that had taken over recently. Usually you were able to push away the urges, breathe through them and distract yourself but today was just different. You were tired of pushing them away and you just wanted it to go away.

Almost in a trance your fingers had found a razor and was removing the blades from it. It was like you were watching someone else draw on your skin. Watching blood trickling down your arms, as if it were rain on the windows. The pain was fresh. It felt good to be able to feel anything other than that pressing feeling on your chest and numbness.

The second the razor touched the side new feelings rushed through you. Guilt. Panic. Anger. How could you give in after so many years of being clean? How would you hide this? Why did you even feel this way when every part of your life was, by definition, perfect.

"Shit. Shit. Shit"

You spun around and shoved your arm into the shower, wincing as the running water touched the fresh wounds and watching as it took away the blood.

Pulling the towel back around you quickly, you walked quickly back into the room and rumaged in your bag to pull out some bandages you kept in there for minor injuries in the field. As you pulled the bandages out there was a loud thud as your bag fell to the floor onto your foot and you swore loudly but didn't pick it up.

With experienced hands you started bandaging your arm up. You'd banaged injuries up all the time in the field but this being from yourself made you feel a wave of guilt again.

The silence in the room was broken by a few raps on the door.

"Uh yeah?" You called trying to quickly pin the bandage in place.

"You alright? I heard some thuds and swearing" Dereks deep voice came through the door.

"Oh, uh ,yeah. Just dropped my go bag on my foot" You tried to laugh it off but something in your voice must've given you away because a moment later the door cracked open.

"Are you sure Y/N?" Dereks voice was clearer with the door cracked.

"Yeah yeah, it'll just a little bruise" You said, rushing to pull the towel around yourself so that he didnt see everything. You closed your eyes and sighed as you realised you had answered too quickly and your voice had cracked.

The door opened slowly before softly shutting. "Whats wrong? You've seemed a bit off all day. Did something else happen?" He paused, his eyes glancing over you and resting on your bandaged arm which was trying to help keep your towel in place. "Y/N?" His voice trailed off and he walked quickly over to you "What happened?"

"I happened" You muttered, turning away and sitting on the edge of the bed.

"You happened? What did you do?" Derek half laughed, clearly expecting you to have fallen or walked into something. His eyes narrowed as you didn't reply. "Y/N?"

You felt the slow burning prickle behind your eyes and felt a tear roll down your cheek. "Nothing" You snapped and turned. "I-uh-Sorry, Im just tired and was a bit clumsy"

You felt a soft hand touch your shoulder. "Doesn't seem like nothing. Why don't you get dressed and we'll talk about it?"

Your hand clenched around the towel as you became painfully aware that you were still naked with nothing but a towel around you. You nodded but said nothing as you got up and grabbed the pyjamas that were at the foot of the bed and walked quickly into the bathroom. Your eyes caught site of the bloody blade lying in the sink and you fought a wave of sickness that arose from it. Quickly pulling on your pyjamas, you turned the tap on to wash the blood away and the dropped the blade out of sight. You didn't need more temptation.

Re-emerging from the bathroom you saw Derek had moved your bag onto the chair and had perched himself on the end of the bed. You walked around him and on the side of the bed.

"So are you going to tell me what happened?" Derek slowly turned around to look at you although you determinedly avoided his gaze.

"Lapse of judgement" You muttered. It wasnt a lie but it wasn't the most straightforward answer. It didn't deter Derek.

"You can talk to me you know. I won't tell anyone and I might be able to help."

You laughed. It was cold and seemed hollow even to you. "If I knew do you think Id be in this mess."

The bed moved and you looked up as Derek sat beside you and slowly wrapped his arms around you. It seemed to break some dam inside you that you had been holding back since he had knocked on your door and tears began to stream down your face.

"I didn't mean to" You whispered. "I haven't in so many years. I was doing well but I just lost my focus. It wont happen again. Please don't tell the others"

Derek pulled you in closer and you turned to press your face into his chest. His heartbeat was comforting. "If you don't want me to tell anyone then I won't" He said simply.

"Im just so numb and it just happened and I just wanted to feel something again. I don't know why because everything is perfect so I dont have a reason to feel like this and why should I have any reason to do that" You rambled coming to a halt with a look of disgust on your face.

"These things happen. It can happen to anyone" Derek soothed. "This line of work is tough, even on the strongest of us. And these feelings can hit anyone. Even those who think everything they have is perfect. Theyre normal"

More sobs racked you body, getting stronger and stronger. It was like you lost all control. "Please" you sobbed. "I just want to feel something. Help me feel something"

Derek pulled you up the bed and pulled you into his chest. "You had a slip. Everyone has relapses. It doesnt mean anything. You'll get through this. I'll be there for you. Always"

You had no more words to say, what else was there to say? Instead you buried your face in his chest and continued to sob until you felt tiredness overcome you and let it take you off into nothingness.

When you woke up, Derek was gone. At the bottom of the bed you saw a pile of fresh bandages, a small tube of antiseptic cream and a note. Picking up the note, you quickly read through it.

"Baby girl,

Once upon a time is the start of a story. You have to keep fighting to see the end."

[wolferals]

🇪🇸vale🇪🇸

finally fallin' chapter 7

arón x reader

(The spanish is all google translate, i wont take responsibility for mistakes)

chapter 7

The sun tickling your face woke you the next morning. You stretched your legs and rolled over to your left side, your hand hitting the edge of the bed.

You didnt think any of it and just slowly opened your eyes.

The first thing you saw was the window where the sun had come from and you realized that this wasnt your place.

Carefully you sat up and scanned the lit room.

After thinking about the previous night you came to the life changing realization that you had had sex with Arón.

And as you has thought the night before, you immediately regretted it.

As you got up you saw that you were wearing underwear and your dress was kind of hanging off your upper body, your boobs fully exposed.

You picked up your bra and your other stuff and carefully opened the grey door to the living room.

At this point you hoped he wasnt there and you could sneak out but of course he was standing in the kitchen, sipping on a drink in a cup. Coffee.

„Oh good morning." he spotted you and smiled.

Totally embarrassed you walked up to him and sat on a chair, hiding your face in your hands.

„God my head." you groaned and didnt dare to look at him.

Arón stood in front of you and handed you a glass of water with a pill. „Here."

You nodded, swallowed the pill with a big chug of water and replied:"Thanks."

You didnt even know what to say, you were too confused and embarrassed for what you had done.

„I'm gonna go." you then spoke and got up and wanted to leave as fast as possible but a hand grabbed you by the arm and pulled you back.

„What?" you asked and turned around.

Without saying anything else, he cupped your face and placed a long sweet kiss on your lips.

It confused you even more. What did this mean now?

To you this was a mistake, a one time thing.

Was it more to him?

„Uhm.. bye." you exclaimed after looking at him in total confusion. He smiled and then opened the door for you.

„I had fun last night."

You just nodded again and made your way back home, still not knowing what had just happened.

It wasnt your intention to come off as a rude bitch, it just didnt make sense to you and you were pretty bad at hiding your self consciousness.

It had been a huge mistake.

*time skip to 5 hours later*

You had gotten a text from Arón this morning after you had left.

„Are you okay?"

To which you hadnt replied because you were still very embarrassed.

And to make this whole situation even worse, in about 45 minutes you were going to meet up with Itzan and Arón to take the shots for the photo series.

And oh boy were you nervous.

You were hoping Itzan had no clue but they were best friends, he had probably told him and Itzan was now thinking you were a hoe or something.

You had NEVER had a one night stand before. Especially not with a guy you basically just met.

Still very concerned about meeting him, you put on a pair of jeans shorts, a black top and a flannel in case it got colder later.

You didnt apply any makeup, you didnt feel like it. A blue scrunchie kind of highlighted your outfit, holding your hair up in a high ponytail.

You paired your outfit with a golden necklace, some dangly earrings and your usual vans.

Then the time had come for you to grab your bag, your phone, keys and your camera to get going. To meet him again. To face him.

It didnt take too long to get to the previously agreed venue and you were more than glad to see Itzan alone.

„Hey!" you greeted him and gave him a quick hug.

He smiled and replied:"Hi how are you?"

While you were waiting for Arón, Itzan seemed to have no clue about what happened and your thoughts were shooting through your head like arrows waiting for their time to hit the middle.

„Oh there he is, thank god." He suddenly spoke and you turned around just to be faced with a smiling Arón, who walked up to you and said:"Hola people."

It confused you how chill he was. Was hooking up with „strangers" an every day thing for him?

„You ready Piper?" Itzan asked him as Arón was sitting there on a bench, waiting for you to take the picture.

Itzan had called it your job to photograph and his own job was to „direct" Arón.

What a generous guy he was.

„Claro qué sí." Arón nodded and you tried to focus on your job to take a good photo.

While the guys talked about the next test shots you were only thinking of his naked body on yours, making you all bubbly inside.

„Y/n you good?" Itzan asked concerned and snapped his fingers in front of your face.

You came back to reality and asked:"Uh what? Yes. Im fine. Didnt sleep too well."

You heard Arón chuckle. „Why didnt you sleep y/n?"

He got a death glare from you.

„Easy guys. Lets just do this." Itzan seemed to get annoyed.

You were too. You were annoyed by Aróns behavior. But especially you were annoyed by yourself, you didnt even know how that could've happened.

„Y/n photo!" Itzan complained and you nodded back and took a the next picture of Arón. He was looking deep in your eyes, as you looked up from the camera again.

„Do we got it?" Itzan asked you.

Nodding you replied and checked through the taken photos.

They did look pretty good already, you still had to edit them though.

„Whats wrong with you, y/n? Are you feeling okay?"

Itzan looked at you all concerned. „You're absent today."

You simply nodded. „Sorry, im good."

He grabbed his backpack and then spoke:"Maybe its better if we edit the pictures this weekend, you get some sleep y/n you hear me? Imma head to the gym, see you later Piper."

And you were back alone with Arón. He walked up to you and intended on saying something but you cut him off before he could even start. „It was a mistake, I'm sorry. I dont wanna talk about it."

You acted like you were going through the pictures as he looked down at you.

„Y/n, come on." His arm reached out to touch your hand but you pulled away and replied:"I'm very sorry Arón, but i'm not like this i promise. I was drunk and it was a huge mistake."

He sighed. „Please?"

You looked up and took a deep breath.

„I know you like me."

You shook your head. But both of you knew it was a lie.

A thousand thoughts were running through your mind at this moment. „Arón, please lets forget this. I'm not ready for that."

Arón nodded and didnt say anything for a bit.

Then suddenly he asked:"Let me guess, you've been hurt before and arent ready to try something new?"

This time you shook your head and meant it.

„Not hurt. I just havent really been loved by anyone yet. And im..."

-„Scared?" he asked softly.

You were aware that this was a bitch move but you seriously were afraid of being close to someone.

Nodding you answered him.

„Yeah." you whispered and looked to the floor.

Arón got closer, tucked a loose strand of hair that had fallen out of your ponytail behind you ear and rested his hand on your cheek.

„Thats okay. We can take the time. And if you're not ready to do this, thats okay too. But trust me chica, I wont give up on you."

This made you laugh.

„Come on. Let me try this." He pleaded and pouted at you.

You werent sure, you wanted to get to know him better first before „dating" him.

„Please just give me some time." Was all you said before giving him a small smile and grabbing your stuff.

„As long as you need." he smiled back.

„But just that you wont lose interest, I'll keep annoying you over text."

You started to grin. You knew he would.

„Vale" you replied.

„Vale" he spoke back and smiled at you, as you slowly walked away after telling a boy who was head over heals for you to give you time? Like girl, this man wants you and you walk away?

Sometimes you hated yourself for your decisions.

[pbandjesse]

I am feeling like. Stupid tired right now. It sucks. I couldnt sleep last night, didnt get to sleep until almost 3. I woke up miserably exhausted. But I really did try my best. I was just not feeling great. Which was a theme of this very grey day. I tried to shake it but man was it hard. 

James had to leave for work soon after I got up. I took a shower and washed my hair. Tried to shake off the feelings and the grossness I was feeling. I washed my hair again. I need to stop trying to wash my hair while I take a bath, it never works, and it just makes my life harder. 

I made a burrito for brunch. And I watched some videos. I did do some sewing today, but I was cold the entire day so I didnt do as much as I had wanted. I also did some photos for the store and a little bit of claywork. But it wasnt like a super productive day. I played around with videos some more, with mixed results. I for sure get better video on my phone but I have to delete them as soon as they are backed up because I have such little space. For sure something Im going to have to consider going forward. 

I was going to be meeting up at the park with Gaby and Lane around 3, which ended up being closer to 330. So for the afternoon I played some animal crossing and read. I was still sort of on edge about being on time so I left to early. They texted me to let me know they would be closer to 330. Which was alright, I drove around the park a little, went towards the zoo. Saw a deer! And then went to walgreens. The line was crazy inside but I got my psoriasis shampoo I had forgotten to pick up and still beat the girls getting to the park. 

I waited for them in the small pavilion. It was a little damp inside, and very rainy outside of it, but it was so nice to be out there. And it was extra nice seeing my friends. 

I gave Lane the butterflies I had for her, and Gaby the things she bought from my store. And we spent like an hour and a half talking about fanfiction and jobs and travel and life. It was excellent and made me feel so much better. 

But man was it cold! The rain would come and go, but it was cold. They both had jean jackets on which looked freezing, I had my brown jacket and then a raincoat on top of it and I was still so cold. And then I went to text James and my phone just turned off from being to cold! That hasnt happened to me since I lived in minnesota! So Lane texted James were we were so he could come say hi.

It was nice to all hang out for a few minutes, but James was wet from biking and we were all cold, so we made plans to do an animal crossing tour, and we all headed out. 

I got home and was just, cold down to my bones and very hungry. James put a pizza in the oven while I put jammies on. But I couldnt warm up. Im still cold honestly, but my legs were cold to the touch for hours. I think that zapped a lot of my energy. 

After we ate I read for a little, and tried to work on art, but I just wasnt feeling motivated or inspired. I made one little clay thing before calling it a night and laying in the ravioli and trying to feel warmer. It only sort of worked. 

I am sitting with James now. Im going to wash my face and just try to sleep. I feel so beat up. 

I dont know what tomorrow brings. I am going to work on the lesson plans I started for the Y. And hopefully have a chat with Lana for some more direction and maybe some idea of if I will have a new placement or they will just have me working on other stuff. Who knows. 

I just hope I can sleep. I hope you all sleep okay tonight. Take care of yourselves. Goodnight!

[onceuponaloonatic]

Sana bringing the triplets for a baby photoshoot. Saya and Sae can't stay still so they crawl away instead, Saki crying because of the flash and cue her two sisters crying as well then it becomes chaos shshshshs —🍊

“okay girls you get to be mommy for a day!” sana cooed to her three eight month olds, all of them much more interested in the toys tzuyu had given them.

“babe they don’t seem interested.” tzuyu laughed.

“they will be when we get there, they’ve had photo shoots before remember last time? they had fun.”

“sana they were newborns they didn’t know what fun was.” mina nodded, securing each girls car seat. “you three need to be good for us today okay? no embarrassing mommy mama and ka-san in front of the camera crew.”

“ka-san!” saki smiled at mina. saki was still the only one to be able to name all three. they had been able to get saya and sae to say mommy and sae knew mama but saki knew all three.

“hi saki-chan, ka-san has to go now be good in the back.” mina made sure each girl seemed okay before making her way back to the front. “they seem good, let’s go.” tzuyu nodded and pulled out of the driveway, the girls all being silent in the back. they had caught them in their perfect moods, it was right after lunchtime so they weren’t hungry and they weren’t tired for their nap for a few more hours so they had plenty of time to get the photo shoot done and get them home in time for naps.

“did you pick out all the girls outfits today?” tzuyu asked sana, who was giving her directions on her phone.

“i did, the only have three wardrobes so i think this will be fairly quick.” sana smiled.

“three?”

“well they don’t really need to put in makeup and we can’t kept them still long enough to do tons of shots so i’m not anticipating this will take very long to be honest. we’ll get some shots of them together and apart and some family shots. we can even get some new pictures to hang in the house.” sana giggled.

“please don’t tell me we are doing that full family matching thing.” mina groaned.

“maybe.” sana laughed. “it’s adorable!”

“oh sana unnie no i refuse i will turn this car around.” tzuyu gripped the steering wheel a little harder.

“fine.” sana whined. “have it you guys way the dresses i picked out we’re super cute.”

“how about we just decide when we get there.” mina resigned herself. “if it’s not too horrible i guess we can do it.”

“yay!” mina was really happy she was able to bring a smile to sana’s face. “i’m excited.”

“i’m not.” tzuyu sighed. “but oh well.”

“you’ll like it i promise.” sana nodded.

“you say that about a lot of things.”

xx

“aww look at you saya-chan so pretty for mommy.” sana smiled at her littl girl, who was dressed in a cute pink dress. “let’s get some pictures done with your sisters.” sana picked up her daughter and brought her to the common area, putting saya amongst the props where sae and saki were already waiting. “oh my god all three of you are so cute!” sana removed each other their pacifiers and made sure each girl wasnt too whiney about it. “now, give mommy a big smile okay?” sana demonstrated and only saki gave her mother a dimply smile. “no hands in mouth.” sana stopped sae from sticking her fingers in her mouth from her lack of pacifier. “come on sae, saya, you girls can do this!” sana kept smiling until sae and saya gave her something like a smile. “okay girls, mommy mama and ka-san will be right over here. just be still for a few seconds and keep smiling.”

“it’s cute when she talks to them like they understand her.” mina laughed.

“yeah, and god knows how long the girls are going to smile. i doubt sae even really smiled in the first place.” tzuyu joined in the laughter as sana came running over to them. however the minute sana turned back saya had already crawled away, trying to follow her. sae was trailing behind her big sister, on a straight course for mina.

“girls.” mina sighed. “alright come here sae. can we just do saki by herself first since she’s the only one who seems okay sitting there.” the photographer nodded and moved closer to get an individual shot of saki. sana, who had saya on her hip, caught saki’s attention so she was looking at the camera and made a silly face so saki would laugh as the camera went off. however as the flash went off saki’s dimply smile faded to a frown and she started sobbing right after the picture was taken. saki started sobbing and tzuyu was immediately on her way to pick up saki and quiet her down before she relied up sae and saya.

“was the picture at least good?” sana asked the photographer with a sigh. the photographer showed sana the picture on her monitor and though saki was in tears now she actually looked really cute in the picture, her eyes weren’t even closed. “well at least we got a good picture out of it.” saki continued screaming, her noises starting to set off her sisters. before they knew it all the girls were crying, tzuyu still trying to comfort saki. “why don’t we get rid of the flash from now on?” sana asked, the photograph nodding in agreement.

“i’ll just set up more lights around them that won’t flash.” sana nodded and tried to quiet down saya, who really wasn’t having it. “well this is going to take a while.”

“and you said this wouldn’t take long.” mina nodded. “i knew this was going to take forever. let’s calm them down and get their faces back to normal smilely girls before we continue.” sana nodded, rubbing saya’s back and voicing her gently to get her to quiet down.

eventually once the girls were calm they resumed doing saki’s individual shoots and then moved onto sae and saya’s, trying to kept them still for as long as possible. after a while sae started to figure things out but saya didn’t really get it, just following whoever put her down. they ended up taking pictures with her until she was able to stay by herself for a few. the girls are all good in the family photos, each happy to be held in their moms arms instead of sitting on the floor with all the lights and attention on them. after dresses they move onto casual wear and sana gets to demonstrate her fashion sense on her daughters. the girls were starting to get tired so they were a lot more still and behaved throughout the shoot, and by the time they get onto street wear the girls are basically asleep. sana had to give saki some apple sauce from her purse to keep the youngest awake. in the end sana ends up ordering all the photos, liking every single one of them, even the blurry ones were sae or saya was trying to escape. sana is sure to give saki a few extra kisses for being the most behaved one.

by the time they pile the girls in the car they are all asleep, sana adjusting their baby blankets around them as they slept.

“i would say that was a success.” sana started the conversation.

“i didn’t think it would be at first, but it worked out. i love that picture of you holding saya between your legs.” mina joined.

“it was the only way to keep her still.” sana giggled.

“you still look gorgeous.”

“mina my job is to look pretty in pictures.” sana retorted. “you two looked pretty too, natural models.”

“thanks honey.” mina smiled.

“yeah thanks babe.” tzuyu added. “but you definitely outshone us. i’m okay with that though.”

“really?”

“yeah, you and the girls are the most beautiful thing in the world, and mina too.”

“nice save tzuyu.” mina nodded.

“i mean it though.”

“i know.” mina pecked tzuyu’s cheek. “i love you too.”

[kawaiimysticarmy]

ShinsouBowl Day 1 - “Promise”

Word count: 2,738

Genre: Fluff, Romance, angst, BL

Ship: Shindeku

Ao3 link: https://archiveofourown.org/works/21470425

ShinsouBowl week for @shinsoubowl ! 💜

Hope you all enjoy! Shindeku needs all the love >w< 💜

Shinsou Hitoshi was heading back towards the dorms of UA while he had a black umbrella over himself when it started to rain. Wearing a hoodie and some jeans since he finished class earlier today and had changed. A day or so, someone had told him that new dorms have been built, which allowed all the students of UA to finally live in a dorm. Shinsou had decided to tour around campus, because he really never gotten a chance to ever since today. The rain began to pour harder while he was taking his nice tour, he then saw a familiar green haired boy, sitting on a bench while he looked like that he was pretty much drenched in rain water by now. He questioned to himself of why the other was sitting alone today, since he usually saw the male with at least one person. He took a clearer glance at the boy and realized that he looked... Kinda down at the moment? He decided whether or not he should go over to Izuku and ask what was up, after all it wasn’t any of his business... But at the same time it was bothering him. He decided to watch from a distance for now to see what the other would do next.

{looks like there’s something up with him... What could it be though..?}

Izuku Midoriya sat on a bench outside the training grounds. His expression poker-faced. School was a bore, everything he liked was a bore. It was probably past curfew at this point but thats not what he was thinking of. He stared into the distance, not wanting to go back either. It felt as if everything had sunk in even though it was days past the incident. Taking a deep breath, he suddenly snapped out of it and realized it was pouring rain around him. His whole body was beginning to dampen now, but he had an inkling the source of the warm and salty stream om his cheek was from something else.

The melancholy male sitting in the distance had suddenly stood up, wanting to scream. Before he could, he stopped himself. Thoughts of self consciousness and worry flooded him- he didn't want to annoy the others on campus. But again he just wanted to cry out in pain- for once just let it out. He felt it was a selfish thought, so he pushed it to the back of his mind. Even when he was with _____, he didn't want to show him his bad side and burden him. Picking himself up, he brushed himself off. Moping wasnt going to do any good. He gathered his things and trudged to the entrance, when he saw a purple headed boy turn away from him. What was he doing here?

Shinsou was about to walk away when he saw Izuku heading back, but before then, he saw the other catching a brief glance at him.

{Shoot, he saw me staring at him didn’t he?}

The male had thought to himself as he had hoped that Midoriya wouldn’t be suspicious of him and headed back towards the dorms, closing his umbrella once he got into the building. It had been a long day, so he decided to head back to his room to finish up some homework that the teacher had assigned him earlier this morning. The thought of if the freckled male was okay had still lingered in his mind though... He honestly haven’t really had a real conversation with that boy ever since the sports festival. Which was about months ago.

Deku felt self pity welling up inside him and worry at the boy who had been watching him. What if even Shinsou thought he was weird now? He sighed walking back up to his dorm, when his eyes locked with the very person he wasn't expecting, his jacket and hair slightly damp. Just when Shinsou was less than halfway down the halls when he had locked eyes with the green haired male. Deku walked past, alone in his own thoughts. But out of the corner of his eyes he saw a flash of purple. Locking eyes with the other, Shinsou’s lilac eyes looked dull and unmotivated, but at the same time, he was secretly concerned for the boy. Shinsou had paused a bit before saying a word to the boy, getting lost in the other’s eyes a bit.

“Mi-“ Before he got to say anything, he then got cut off by Izuku’s shriek of surprise.

"Sh-shinsou?!" He jumped slightly, eyes widening a bit while blushing and scratching the back of his head. "Aa-h-h-hello do you do?" He internally kicked himself for stuttering his words, making his reply super awkward in his eyes— a scarlet blush filled his cheeks. Had shinsou been watching him mope this whole time?

The purple haired male couldn’t help but to chuckle a bit on the inside after seeing Midoriya jumping slightly from his surprise reveal. At first he wanted to confront what was going on with the other, but then he decided to act like he didn’t know what just happened earlier. Instead he acted like he had acted that he just saw the green haired male walk into the dorms. “I thought you be back in your dorm room by now.” He stated like it was easy to talk to the young boy. “Did you have to do training overtime again?” He causally asked the question like it was nothing while he was folding his umbrella.

"N-no," why was he stuttering? He internally slapped himself. "Well not really, I was just... enjoying the rain! Yeah!” He tried to sound convincing but it totally backfired. He just felt so conflicted and hurt.

“You sure gave yourself a soak in the bath, if you know what I mean.” Shinsou responded jokingly, trying to lighten up the mood and acting like he hadn’t seen all the commotion earlier.

“Uh yeah, I sure did!” Izuku tried to let out a laugh. Then randomly, it was like Shinsou's words were all it took for the dam to break free, pushing Izuku over the edge. He broke down in uncontrollable bursts of tears, pulling his knees into his face so no one could see how embarrassing he was- this was probably why _____ left him after all...

“H-hey...” When he saw Midoriya suddenly burst into tears, he didn’t know what to do at first and started to panic on the inside. He never had experienced this kind of situation before... But then he had a thought — he then bent down to the boy’s level, seeing the other sobbing into his soaked uniform made him pity the other. He then placed a hand onto the male’s shoulder gently.

Izuku has sobbed profusely by now. “Why.. Why does it have to happen like this? It’s... Just not fair...!” He almost screamed out loud, sobbing in his already wet uniform pants. He tried his best to control his voice as if he didn’t want to concern the others that were in the dorms on the other floors. 

“Do you... Maybe want to talk about this at your dorm?” Shinsou had asked him as if he thought it was appropriate to talk about what the other is going though   couldn’t bare to see the boy like this — he never seen the green haired figure so broken like this... Izuku was always so cheerful whenever the other was around him.

Izuku then nodded his head, hiccuping on accident, allowing Shinsou to lead the way as Shinsou still had his hand on Izuku’s shoulder. The purple haired boy never really talked much, but actions were worth more than words and he could feel his gentleness coming through in his body language. He didn't really want to talk about it but anywhere was better than the hallway.

                                                      *~*~*

Once they had entered Izuku’s dorm, Shinsou had let the teary-eyed male in first, closing the door behind him afterwards. He observed the room, of course it was filled with figures of his favorite hero, also known as the one and only All Might. The other’s room was filled with posters of him as well to the fact that you almost couldn’t even see the walls. Some clothes were on the ground and Izuku’s backpack that he took with him to school every day was sitting on the floor by his desk, with a couple of books spilling out from his opened bag.

“Sorry if my dorm is a bit of a mess...” Izuku tried to speak confidently, as he was kind of embarrassed by letting Shinsou see how much he appreciated his favorite hero- it’s not like the others had already seen how much he admired the influential figure and that the sleep deprived male hasn’t already know about his passion about the hero- but in the end he still had that embarrassing feeling but tried to laugh it off. Trying to get himself together by putting on a positive tone of voice after what had happened in the hallway Izuku then added, “I um, didn’t expect guess to come, but here we are..!” He tried to let out a brief chuckle. “You can have a seat if you’d like! He then proceeded to sit on the side of his bed, making room for Shinsou to sit next to him. Izuku put his head down briefly and sniffled a bit, wiping his tears away that were outlining his eyes onto his soaked uniform.

Shinsou had placed his umbrella on a hook that was near the doorway to let it dry, then proceeded towards Midoriya who was kind of soaking part of the bed with his wet clothing.

“Shouldn’t you change into something dry first? You wouldn’t want to get sick do you?”

“Oh, um yeah!” Izuku responded as he looked at how wet his uniform was when Shinsou had mentioned it. “I-I’ll be right back..!” He then gave a forced smile and went to grab a pair of sweatpants and his causal shirt. While Shinsou was waiting for Izuku to change, he saw a small picture frame on the side of the other’s study desk. It was a picture of the smiley male and _____. Even though it was days since the breakup, he still managed to keep the photo of them two together.

A few minutes later, Izuku changed into his pair of clothes and sat on his bedside, gesturing Shinsou to come over as well and sit beside him. “

“So, I’ve heard from a few friends that you’ve been going though some things?” He lied a bit.

Izuku then hung his head down slightly as his expression saddened again. “It’s- it’s about ____... They told me that we should end it all... After all these years... And I don’t know what I did.. I-I know how we had a couple of fights that weren’t even a big deal, but I admitted it that it was my fault in the first place- I admitted it and (s)he seemed like everything was okay with us for a while... But then...” Izuku rambles on and on and couldn’t really stop as usual. He sighed in the middle of his thoughts as tears stated to outline his eyes again as he continued to ramble.

“Midoriya?”

“Thinking about it- in the end it was all my fault, I shouldn’t have-“ Izuku’s eyes suddenly shifted towards Shinsou, feeling his mind slowly going blank all of a sudden.

“Calm down.” Shinsou has said in a calm tone, activating his quirk to make Izuku relax a bit. This wasn’t the first time that he had heard Izuku ramble so fast about things, but this time he needed the other to take things slowly.

By the time Izuku had calmed down, Hitoshi had deactivated his quirk as tears were still falling down from Izuku’s eyes; the other not knowing what just happened for a brief second, but then realized that Shinsou had used his quirk on him to give him a breather.

“You were rambling again.. Take it easy, alright?” Shinsou had smiled slightly, wanting to listen to the boy for once, because maybe there was something that he could help with. It honestly hurt him a bit to see the other in this state...

“Ah, I-I’m sorry...” Izuku had bent his head down and sobbed quietly into his hands. “It’s just that... it all happened so quickly...” Izuku sniffled. “And... I just don’t know what to do...” He then placed his feet onto his comforter, bent his knees and started sobbing even more.

Hitoshi felt pity for Izuku. He was pretty sure he felt the same kind of similar feeling in his past. At first, he really know what to say besides and “I’m sorry”, but then a thought had came to him.

“Look... I don’t mean to be harsh or anything, but if I were you I would just probably move on from all of this since you can’t really do anything about it. It was their choice after all.” Hitoshi had straightforwardly said to the curly haired male.

“But I-I just can’t get it though my head.. I just... loved them so much...” Izuku sobbed as Hitoshi had decided to wrapped his arms around the other all of a sudden. He for some reason felt that there was a part of Izuku that reminded him of himself... Shinsou was not the one to show much affection towards others, but only for this time he felt like he had to do something, so all he could think of was this.

Izuku just hugged the other male tighter, burring his head into Shinsou’s shoulder as his tears had accidentally soaked into the male’s shirt a bit.

The indigo haired male had tensed up a bit as if the male wasn’t used to the giving back of affection— or the giving of affection in general, but then he eventually relaxed a few seconds later.

{My heart is beating faster than normal— is it because of how close we are right now..?}

A moment of silence has swept over the two, Izuku took a slight deep breath, inhaling the other’s sent that was an aroma of cinnamon and a bit of vanilla.

“...”

“Shinsou...”

“Hm?”

“You... Smell good...” Izuku had spoken in a soft tone as he rested his chin onto Shinsou’s shoulder. A light pink blush had colored his face after realizing what he just said to the lilac haired male. “I-I mean, is that cinnamon and vanilla I s-smell...?”

Shinsou couldn’t help but to smile slightly and had continued stroking Izuku’s curls, pulling the other closer to his chest. He felt a warm sensation going through his body. It’s like the feeling of happiness had swept through him for a moment... He honestly never had received a compliment like that from anyone other than Izuku. He was surprised from all of this happening, but at the same time he knew that Izuku was the only one to fully trust him out of all the students. Ever since their first interaction Izuku didn’t seem scared to talk to him, which made him feel a bit of a relief on the inside for once...

“I may have used a special softener while I was doing my laundry..” The sleepy male responded, trying not to sound embarrassed about the whole thing as if he thought it wasn’t a masculine thing to do; but it’s not like he cared about what people thought about him anyways.

{I really hope he can’t hear how fast my heart is beating right now, because that would be embarrassing-}

“Shinsou...”

“What is it?”

“What if I end up being alone? With no one by my side... It’s honestly scary thinking about it...” Izuku spoke in a soft tone. It was his first breakup and he didn’t know if he could find another person like ____.

{This cute idiot.} 

Hitoshi had chuckled to himself as he rolled his eyes and rested his chin onto the Izuku’s head gently. Pausing a moment as he kept playing with the curls on Izuku’s hair.

{His hair is so soft...}

“You’re an idiot for thinking about those things. I promise you’ll never be alone...” Shinsou responded as he placed his lips onto Izuku’s forehead, closing his eyes for a moment.

Izuku blushed a dark pink and nuzzled his head into Shinsou’s chest a bit more. “You promise...?”

“I promise.”

[legion1993]

OMG I’M ON FIRE!

AN: this is for @tephi101 for her writing challenge. hope this makes someone’s day!

pairing: Barry Allen x reader

prompt: phoenix

summery: there isnt one…

today was the big day, today you were gonna go watch the particle accelerator go off, of course you were supposed to go with your best friend but he had to stay late at work… one of Central City’s finest in the form of a CSI… 

it was a few hours before the particle accelerator going off that Barry called you to chat while he waited for case results…

Barry: “im so sorry i can’t be there with you tonight… i’m sure it will be a great experience for everyone…”

YN: “yes well you are just gonna have to make it up to me…”

Barry: “i might have a way to do that… but it will have to be after im done with this case… ugh the captain has the worst timing…”

YN: “its fine Barry, we all need to work overtime sometimes… but you are right it does suck that your not coming with… but oh well… c’est la vie.. im just deciding what to wear…”

Barry: “ooo do you still have that red and gold sequined dress?”

You rumage for a few seconds through your closet before coming across it…

YN: “are you sure about this?”

Barry: “yes of course i am… now you should wear it and can you do me a favor and order me delivery… im gonna be here for a while yet…”

you put Barry on speaker while you got dressed and then ordered his food… hitting the order button, paying for it like always, it was the normal deal…

YN: “done it will be there in 30 min, i told them to tell the captain that he is there to deliver food to Barry Allen… as per usual… now im gonna send you a photo of me in the dress…”

you stand in front of your tall mirror, and pose taking the photo… sending it to Barry you wait the responce… you could always count on Barry to give you a honest true and really opinionated complement filled opinion…

Barry: “that is totally a stunning dress on you, YN you look like one of those rich models… you should totally wear it more often… and you look beautiful… now im really sorry im not going with you…”

YN: “you know what forget what Captain Singh says come with me… come on Barry play hookie for a bit please…”

Barry sighed into the phone but choose his choice to not get fired…

Barry: “i wish i could but ill tell you what, you give me a call after the expo, and i’ll come by and we will do a slumber party movie time what do you say?”

YN: “deal… now do your job Barry and ill talk to you later… im just arriving at Star Labs..”

Barry: “i am really sorry about not being there with you YN this was supposed to be our night…”

the tone in Barry’s voice left you hot and bothered but also wondering if that tone you were hearing was actually Seduction in Barry’s voice. but Barry also knew how he sounded but also heard the flirtation and disappointment in your voice…

Barry: “ill talk to you after and please YN bring me back as many souveniiiers as possible.”

he hangs up the phone and you exhale as you place your phone in your pocket and walk inside. the place crowded, the room hot and sweaty, then it started, the room kinda darkened, the accelerator powered up, the power went out in the building except for the Particle Accelerator… 

there was a very very large explosion sound but you were backed into a corner, you were trapped, as the blast started to come away from the particle accelerator… people scattered you reached for your phone but was too late, surely by now Barry would see this on the news… 

Barry however waatching this on the news reached for his phone and tried you praying that you would have gotten out but no answer before he noticed the blast coming closer to his location… 

before he could react the particles in the beakers around the lab began to rise like a lava lamp, but some thing happened, this would seperate you and Barry for 9 months, with people in and out by both your sides, you woke up in the blink of an eye. 

a lady came into the room, seeing you going frantic, she was vitally prepared for everything… so your temper subsided as your body burst into flames and you faded into Ashes…

Caitlyn: “well i now know this one has powers… but what the hell happened….”

Cisco: “if its what i think it is wait an hour and she should be reborn from the ashes…”

Caitlyn: “like a phoenix..”

Cisco gave the thumbs up and Caitlyn turned on the fire sprinklers… case of another fire burst… when you woke again you were covered in ashes and very very confused…

Caitlyn: “hello, im Caitlyn whats your name?”

You put your hand to your forehead, you made your face to turn towards her, you suddenly fell back to the bed…

YN: “YN… my name is YN… has there been any word on a Barry Allen…”

Caitlyn calls for Cisco and Dr.Wells… who both come in to stand with Caitlyn…

Wells: “Hello YN, i’m Dr. Wells i understand you know Mr. Allen?”

YN: “yes he is my best friend… where is he? is he okay?”

Wells: “he is fine, he is still in his acoma, he will be just fine though as soon as he awakens… you and Mr Allen were the 2 that were brought here cause we felt your situations were unique… at the actual hospital they said that Mr. Allen is concious in his minds eye but they didnt have the resources to help him… so they released him to us here at Star Labs…”

you were not yourself, you had no idea of the horrors which would befall you, had you not gone to see the particle accelerator go off… had you been with Barry when it had gone off, what would have happened to both of you had you both been there…

YN: “i would like to see him please… i just want to say goodbye before i leave…”

Caitlyn: “you cant leave you dont even have control over what you can do…”

YN: “i can rise from the ashes, i was on fire wasnt i? i know that you are gonna say i shouldnt leave… i know that you guys are trying to help but i have been asleep for how long exactly… how long has it been? who knows that we are here?”

Cisco: “no one knows except for the hospital about the fact that we have Barry… no one knows we have you… but we will let you see Barry before we take you to the training center to help you control your powers which you need to do before you can rejoin the world. its been almost 9 months since the particle accelerator went off and nearly killed you…”

you were trying to hold back your discontent, your fear its been almost 9 months… what the hell happened that night you wondered… 

YN: “i dont know what everyone thinks ill do if i get out of here but i am not gonna loose control of my powers… i feel like a brand new person…”

thats when your hair turned red with fire and your eyes burning red with hatred… they looked at you with fear as you suddenly turned into a phoenix in it actual form and flew out of the door. 

thats the last time you were in star labs that was the last time you were in human form… before a month later should appear. 

that is when Barry woke up, he with the help of Star Labs learned to control his gifts and soon became The Flash… on the 10th month-anniversary of the explosion Barry was back at CCPD doing his job but got word from Star Labs about a firey attack downtown Central City. 

Barry (The Flash) went downtown and stopped at the sight of the fire bird (you)… 

Barry: “guys its a large firey bird…”

Caitlyn and cisco looked at eachother and only caitlyn spoke next…

Caitlyn: “Barry, you know the firey bird.. you need to strike it hard enough to make it revert back to human… other wise we may loose someone who means so much to everyone here… especially you..”

that was enough, that was all Caitlyn had to say, Barry ran up the side of a copper building and got enough speed to throw a very high voltage bolt of lightning directly at your firey bird-like form… 

you were not sure about what was happening… but you felt that bolt of lightning strike you through the fire and you let out a sound as loud as nails on a chalkboard…. 

you spotted the lightning you spotted the person who must have thrown the bolt… but out of all the respective things you had ever done, keeping your human side at bay all you wanted to do was cause trouble… 

you chased the lightning streak all the way to the airport landing no one around nothing destructive… thats when you heard it the small voice from below…

Barry: “i know who you are, please don’t make me strike you down…”

you instead spat a fireball at him… this answered his statement… this was what made him throw a very very large lightning bolt at you… you felt it corse through your skin, over your body, suddenly your human side started to surface… suddenly it was like you were once more normal…

you fell to the ground, you were now laying there naked and human… once you were on the ground barry sped to you, your form causing alarm in his brain… he picked you up bridal style and ran you both back to star labs. 

Caitlyn was in there like a dirty shirt, she shooed Barry out of the room while she worked… she not only put clothes on your body but she also stuck a meta cuff on your wrist which would subside your powers till you can control them… 

she hooked up your vitals and only could monitor them, once barry was out of his uniform he was at the door waiting to be let in…

Caitlyn: “come in Barry….”

Barry walked in the door and was instantly taken with your form… this sight brought tears to his eyes. 

Barry: “how is she?”

Caitlyn: “she will be fine as long as she wears the meta cuff, its gonna keep her from turning into a firey bird again… now ill leave you alone im sure she will want to see you when she wakes…”

Barry went to sit at your bed side… he held your hand in his own and only prayed that you would wake… but he whispered this…

Barry: “please wake up YN i need you to wake up… i need you in my life… i need you with me… so much has changed in both of our DNA’s and we have to do everything we can to survive this together… just please wake up, i love you…”

with that Barry placed a chaste kiss to your lips… and held your hand as he leaned his head on your hand… it was about 10 minutes later that your eyes fluttered open, you sat straight up with a sudden scream… this startled Barry, this brought him to position himself between you and the door right in front of you…

YN: “omg Barry i caught fire, i was covered in ashes, OMG what happened… the particle accelerator, they wouldnt let me see you… are you okay?”

Barry: “im fine, YN is that all you can remember?”

YN: “yes why what else happened?”

Caitlyn clears her throat from the doorway….

Caitlyn: “YN you freaked out at us here at star labs before Barry woke up, you turned into a Phoenix… you spoke as though you weren’t yourself… it is almost like a…”

YN(phoenix): “almost like she is 2 people… ya well im the Phoenix… as long as im able to speak right now… can i jut say that this cuff is really just a over glorified bracelet… so yes Caitlyn you are right she has duel personality… but she needs a way to communicate with me… as i do her… find a way to teach her how to control me, the fire and her emotions… otherwise the fire will consume her again…”

you fall back onto the bed and come back up a few seconds later, confused and afraid… 

YN: “what happened? why is everyone staring at me like i have 2 heads…”

Caitlyn: “YN do you know what D.P.D stands for?”

You had to think about it, knowing that whatever it stood for was probably gonna be tied to whatever just happened to you…

YN: “dual personality disorder.”

Caitlyn: “cisco can you bring up the footage from like 10 minutes ago and put it on the monitor beside YN… so she can better understand what the hell she is going through…”

the footage plays on the screen in front of yours and Barry’s eyes. your own body speaking for you, your eyes red like blood fire, your voice is not your own, and your body reacting not like you would.

you had to peel your own eyes away from the sight of your form on that screen, the voice, the screeching tones… you were mortified… you were not able to form words or at least that was your thought…

YN: “WHAT THE FUCK DID I DO? I SPOKE AS THOUGH I WAS A COMPLETELY DIFFERENT PERSON… WHAT TH…”

that is when Barry cupped your face  with his hands and kissed you with an ELECTRIC passion that stoked your FIREY BLAZE…

the sight in the room was enough to turn away the eyes of Caitlyn, Cisco & dr wells… Barry after 10 minutes of a severe make-out session pulled back now having a smile crossing both yours and Barry’s features.

Barry: “i can see that everyone has now always been right… we have always had a strong connection. i didnt see it in time. i can’t imagine my life without you now… share my life with me, share my conquest to save and find metas like you and me, people who were also affected by the particle accelerator… be my other half… YN Marry Me… Marry Me and Help Me Save The World!”

YN: “yes Barry what took you so long to ask…”

Barry could only kiss you once more except both of you falling to the bed in a flurry of passionate kisses.