#i tried and that's all that counts đ
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I just spent an ungodly amount of time drawing Kori in a wedding dress for her wedding with Dick tomorrow.
I don't have a stylus and draw with my finger and my finger defo is cramping now lol
#I am NOT. a good artist so please keep that in mind in tomorrows update lol#i tried and that's all that counts đ#koriand'r#kori anders#starfire#dickkori#dc#dcu#i might post two updates tomorrow since a lot of content is gonna be âphotosâ a la the great artists who submitted dickkori wedding art
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attacks on @kiitsumiie 's ruby and maria, @/cosmichorrawr's taxidermy, @grimtrespasser 's saburo, and @guardiansgalore 's edyss and @jmorpart 's warf!
my final round of attacks..my final message goodbye..
#artfight#artfight 2024#other peoples ocs#ace attorney#furry art#dungeon meshi#im especially proud of these i tried hard to make my last few attacks count#bc i was running extremely low on energy đ#in the end i managed to come close to my goal but still 3 attacks short </3 that just means i get to try again next year#hope everyone had a good season!!!#this crazy long revenge chain w libby was well worth it i was tehee giggling all month thinking of what to draw next#warfdyss was inevitable 𫵠but i will admit arlo almost got the spotlight.. i will draw him off season trust
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i miss claude so badly im already planning my golden deer maddening run while still in the middle of black eagles. i just want my guy. my favorite guy. unfortunately i just love the black eagles as a group/cast but i am mourning my man (i never kill him btw)
#ann in fodlan#all my thoughts are wah wah wheres claude wah wah#but i love edie too⌠see this is why three hopes was great cuz i got to see both of them together#im an edie yuri truther its my top 3 edie ships but number 4⌠hehe. edie/claude⌠SORRYYYYY#actually im a aroace claude truther but if i must choose someone for him. hehehehsehhegrh#but i did read this lovely aromantic claude fic one time and its so dear to me. i think i bookmarked it i should go read it again#i love him. god.#and you know i do like the gd house#its just. i dont like them as much as i want to? not as much as be or bl#and part of that honestly is because i like units based on two categories:#characterization and how fun they are gameplay wise.#and unfortunately most of them let me down on that latter category đđ#like. ive tried so hard to make lorenz good. SO HARD. but i cantâŚ. i dont know what to do with him!#dark knight wyvern paladin bishop dark mage sniper HE SUCKS!!!!#raphael is also always terrible for me so one time i just made him a mage bc if hes gonna suck i may as well laugh#he was outdamaged by my warrior lysithea. actually she went crazy hard for no reason#you know who i want to like more? hilda.#on paper she is the perfect character for me. shes pink she has an axe shes valentine themed#i LOVE the spoiled rich girl trope like sorry. sorry#but i just cant get over her racism and it shocks me sometimes how that is an unpopular opinion#but idk. i know its not real and it comes from a place of ignorance rather than malice#but when youve been cyril before to someone elseâs hilda its like. its hard to watch#another support of hers i cant get over is actually her marianne support and like. unpopular opinion but i cant stand that support#idk how everyone j goes âyuri!!â have any of you ever been marianne in that situation.#its so uncomfortable sorry. marianne get up⌠better yuri awaits you.#and its not even the fact that hildas wrong in these situations its that she never acknowledges that!! no one ever pushes back! its annoying#i do like her to some extent. i LOVE her characterization towards her motivations (why she doesnt try too hard/she doesnt believe anything#is worth lives)#and then on crimson flower you see that she HAS found a cause/someone worth her life (claude) and its SO tragic its so well done#TAG COUNT IM A CLAUDE OR LEONIE RIDE OR DIE THO I HAVE TO GO BYE
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no straight explanation for this
Pulling in his hair too?? Metaphorically. Say what you really mean, this is a safe space.
#does this count as yandere idk I donât watch anime#you know heâs sooo mad the midnight mission would send him to the backrooms if he tried to sneak in there#when your waifu influencer ekitty lives in a haunted mansion that will suck your soul out so you canât break in and hold her hostage đđđđ#<- contender for the worst out of context tag ever written#let me be clear the ekitten is not tigra#we all know who the real kitty is#moon knight spoilers#moon knight
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When I'm closing out at work and I've had a shitty day I blast MCR on the radio speakers. The louder it is the worse of a day I had đ
#jane journals#not self ship#vent#negative#BUDDY IT WAS PRETTY FUCKIN LOUD TONIGHT#zombie by the cranberries came on and i tried to sing it as loud as i could to relieve some tension ajfkgkg#but mannnn tonight suuuucked đ#ok the way closing works ofc is we're slower in the late afternoon so i have time to get a head start on cleaning and stuff#but a BUNCH of old people came in and ordered a bunch of shit and we had steady people from that point on#not to mention some regulars coming in 10 MINUTES BEFORE CLOSING#i was SO BEHIND on the cleaning and i didn't lock those doors till 8!! im supposed to/usually leave at 7:20-7:30#i guess half an hour doesnt seem like a lot but god it fucking felt like it#especially cause its ALL cleaning. sweeping and mopping and dishes and trash bags and vacuuming and then counting out the drawer đŽâđ¨đŽâđ¨#honestly........sportacus helped me thru it đđ again#its no wonder his actor was a motivational speaker ajfjgkg it was effective#and now im omw home!!#gonna have chicken and salad for dindin#and watch some lazytown âşď¸âşď¸
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âhow could richieâs family possibly want to avenge him when he groomed and murdered peopleâ well first of all he did neither of those things so letâs start there
#not for lack of trying mind you#he just failed spectacularly in both respects#amber was dogwalking him and richie had ONE count of one victim to handle#excluding sam at the hospital#and well. he did not get her! đ#i refuse to attribute vince or wes to him idgaf#sure yeah makes total sense that the guy who was across town at the hospital#would sneak out while his gf is asleep go stab this dude clean up come back sit down put on a movie#all without disturbing anything or being noticed#versus the chick who was already at the bar. and supposed to be heading home LMFAO#same w wes n judy bc#amber was already at the house#richie was across town w a half eaten pizza cozy laid up watching yt#âbut the kill styles-â be serious. we are all grown.#i should not have to tell you that one person can hold/use a knife in two diff ways on two diff occasions. as if amber was like#physically incapable of jabbing the knife in once and leaving bc she went too stab happy every other time b4.#i dont doubt he did a lot of the phone calls but the physical work??#nah. brother he was just there for the ride. accessory at most kinda#how is he a serial killer if he made some calls while his girl killed everyone#if richie watched amber cook would that make him a chef??#okay but in all seriousness kinda đ#wrt that OR the grooming which. im not even gonna get into.#argue w the wall or radio silence bc ur not finna argue w me!#when its CONFIRMED she just manipulated richie into believing it was his idea!#i do believe he thought he WAS in fact playing her. he was just wrong bc she had him by the balls like đ#richie INNOCENT except not bc he was the real victim but bc he literally#tried and failed 95% of the time at villainy đ#still outsold j*ll but thats another matter!#ceci speaks
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how does the dhurkemara divorce go in your mind. is it amicable is it messy or what
honestly i think it's immensely amicable.. AND this might be because i'm not great with angst or any sort of conflict (soft hearted) but like. GESTURES
i like to think of it as like, when dhurke rescues amara, and she's keen to "hear him out" on his innocence and all that, and they have rayfa... i think that is a sort of "lets try very very hard to make this work" even though several years passed and they aren't 23ish anymore..thing. like, it went from young intense love -> intense tragedy, so for all those years dhurke still Had Feelings for amara and was desperately trying to get her back. right? so.
but then i don't think it works quite the same anyway. like yeah the joy a baby brings to a family, it's lovely, but ohh there's already been a lifetime between them that they haven't experienced together. and they're both a little older. and though amara believes in his innocence now, maybe, it still feels a little different... it's not that same intense young love, you know? it never was going to be. but surely it has to be love, right? or else what were they fighting for...?
well they lose amara again so đ§
and so it leaves dhurke and amara to ruminate on their feelings in isolation, again, and missing each other deeply, but also with a little more maturity in it now. like they're still married but how can you be in love with someone you haven't seen much over the past (cups hand around mouth) TWENTY THREE YEARS ...? isn't it more like you're in love with the idea of them? or at least, you still CARE about them! but love...?
their relationship will never be the same way it was pre-canon... if it was allowed to mature and grow like any healthy one, they'd probably be one of khura'ins strongest couples... but it was cut off the same way everything in their lives was broken and cut off. they didn't even get to raise their children together..
so in a sense, a divorce would be an "acknowledgement and healing" thing, letting go (and moving on ?!?!?!) of the past trauma theyve been carrying for so long.... at least in some part.
but theyll always be close friends ^_^
i can't imagine a messy divorce at all honestly. to me, amara would be on board with it basically instantly, it's dhurke who'd have trouble letting go (and moving on!??#?#$?%#) just because this is part of his driving force, is returning to the normalcy that he can never return to. Lowkey canon dhurke would probably be a weirdo about it. canon dhurke would be like "no let me Prove Again-" and IM TELLING YOU HE'S LITERALLY ASGORE LMAOOOO this eggs-husband motherfucker
but in my head, post-canon dhurke has the sense to know that divorce is what's best for all of them... after all, again, they've basically been divorced this whole time anyway. i think amara is like "dhurke i've been thinking" and dhurke's like ... yeah i could've guessed that. and it's fine. bittersweet but fine in all sorts of ways..
#soj really tries to push the 'dhurke and amara's fairy tale love that transcends TWENTY THREE YEARS OF ABSENCE' thing#And i won't have it!!!!!!!!!!!!!#*except for the rayfa year but that really does not count#like let amara be free bro đđLET HER GO#mind this is all seperate from my dhurkedatz feelings#this isnt me breaking a het ship for my yaois this is me wanting the best for these freaks#and also embracing the idea that divorce can be healthy#CUS SOME OF THESE PPL DO NOT NEED TO BE TOGETHER.
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This bitch cannot take a hint oh my FUCKING god how many times do I have to tell her I donât like going to bars before she stops fucking asking
#also love how she asked if I had plans#to which I said yes#but she then tries to convince me to do something else#cuz I know to her those donât count as âactual plansâ#like actually fuck you no I was very excited for my movie night within the comfort of my own home with one of my best friends???#also she seems to think I just refuse to do anything âdifferentâ for the sake of it#like nah man. Iâve been to bars Iâve been to drag shows#I know theyâre not my scene and donât enjoy them#Iâm not saying no because Iâve just neverrrrr tried it Iâm saying cuz I have and know Iâd have more fun doing SO many other things#also love how the reason I gave her to try and gently be like âno I donât want toâ#was how I didnât want to be both out and around but then also driving#on fucking New Yearâs Eve downtown where there will be SO many plastered ppl and drunk drivers#like dude I donât wanna do that and also donât want to deal with a car accident#cuz the likelihood of one is much higher on New Yearâs Eve đ#like damn she just really does not give a fuck about other pplâs concerns interests or opinions#in relation to what she enjoys#like dude if you wanna go out to a drag show on nye by all means GO#I know you have other friends you bring them over a lot ask one of them đ#leave me and my friend out of it esp when weâve both expressed we donât wanna do that đđđ#kaz rambles
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only a taylor swift music video would have me doing math after its premiere because what is going on here
#i tried calculating it as like. song number in discography?? but that would imply 1989TV and NOT speak nowâŚ#well unless you count like unreleased songs + mini albums like beautiful eyes and thechristmas album etc⌠hmm.#sheâs made us all insane đđđ#lavender haze mv#taylor swift#lii speaks now
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why are my exes all harassing me can you go fuck yourself
#first one tried to get into my discord server#second bro tried playing nice and sending me an ask on here#like he didnât fucking abuse me for several years#thank go d i realized that after all this time#third WHOEVER THE FUCK SENT THE#YOU LWFT FIRST???#đbro what the hell#OHHH ANDRDDDD#iâm counting ex friends in this#RANDOM FUCJING LOSER IM TALKING TO BIM AGAIN IDK WHY#he s really strange and controlling and egotistical in a Bad way#like very weird.#and acts like he made me or smth#like acts like he helped me with everything đ#he just acted like a bitch idk
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Iâm on a charli xcx brat kick tonight and I feel like crying rn
#Im thinking about a lot of things tonight / rn#and if Iâm honest - I miss you S#I realize when I look back I tried to act like it wasnât what it was and then I had conflicting feelings/emotions and acting on those#Iâm such a confusing person and I wish I were more transparent than I was I miss us the most being friends I see so many things that remind#me of you and I wanna talk to you so bad and share xyz with you and I just miss us being friends#youâre one of the few people I felt a connection with despite our fallouts you meant a lot to me#and I wish I could write to you and telll you this but you donât care and you moved on and thatâs fine but I still miss my friend#I just wish there were understanding I wish I could express this and MORE to you and I wish things were better between us#I regret the double standards I had /have a good bit to work on to be better not to say that everyoneâs perfect bc theyâre not#if it counts at all and if you see this at all I wanna formally apologize đ Iâve not been the best person#I shouldâve communicated better my actions shouldâve matched my words I shouldâve just overall been better and more transparent and etc#you werenât the best either but regardless Iâm apologizing for my half and taking ownership for my shit Iâm sorry dude Iâm so sorry
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My ass after everyone died and i pass and get the lonely badge and then i bought shadowâs jumpsuit afterwards (if yk ykđ)
#sobbing they all left the game#and there was like the rooms with turrets 4 rooms STRAIGHT with 2 rooms with 2 turrets and 2 rooms with 1 turretsđđđ#the guy that come with me from other 6 that ded died bravery by trying to walk up while i was hesitating to turn the turrets off by himself#iâll remember himâŚ.foreverđ#also excuse my death count and my 3 wins I tried my best but my unlucky ass get me no where ahead than thisđ#roblox pressure#not art post
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it was always you.
for as long as you remember, youâve always had the fattest crush on your childhood friend, jeon jungkook. it never blossomed into something more though, because thatâs what happens when life naturally takes it courseâyou grow up, you move on, and you pretend that those feelings never existed in order to maintain the good friendship that remained between the two of you over the years.
so when he visits you after work one day, asking you to marry him, you do everything you can to refuse, because the reason heâs asking you isnât due to the fact that he finally realized that he loved you after all this time, but because he thinks heâs doing you a big favor.
or at least, thatâs what you think.
pairing: jungkook x reader
word count: 13.2k
rating: 18+
content: fluff, semi-angst, childhood friends to lovers au, pining au | ft. naval aviator!jungkook + brotherâs best friend!jungkook; professor!reader + editor!reader | inspired by purple hearts
warning/s: swearing, potentially wrong medical & military information (iâm sorry but i tried to do as much research i can đ), mentions of having type 1 diabetes, making out, heavy petting, implied sexual content: oral (f. receiving), fingering, penetrative sex, unprotected sex (this is only fiction!)
MINI PLAYLIST: ⍠die with a smile â lady gaga, bruno mars ⍠juno â sabrina carpenter ⍠selfish â *nsync ⍠nandito na ako â benj pangilinan, angela ken
opening note. omg this is my first full length fic in two damn years i think??? certainly took a long time before i had the motivation to write again but i hope y'all like this! to my og readers who still keep up with my shenanigans, this one's for you đĽšđ
âAny questions?â
A boy wearing half-rimmed glasses raises his hand and you gesture for him to speak. âCan we get an extension on the Save the Cat project due tomorrow?â
You sigh, just as several of your students begin agreeing with him and muttering reasons of their own why the extension should be approved. Itâs the week before finals, and youâre aware that the class must be packed with assignments and projects for several of their classes because of it, hence the rather last minute request. They look tired and pleading, a complete reflection of how you were when you were the one in their position nearly a decade ago, begging for an extension from a professor who you thought was kind enough to be swayed with the proposition.
You scan the crowd. âHow many of you are at least 70% with it, hm?â
More than half of the class raises their hands.
âOkay, thatâs honestly unexpected,â you say, pleased to know that they arenât slacking on your subject. âDoes Monday sound good? Thatâs three more days, to be fair. I donât want to extend it further because I have to read everyoneâs work and you guys know I donât like rushing it before turning in your final grade.â
A chorus of relief and thanks echoed in the room, all of your students either dramatically sinking in their chair or erupting in an animated conversation with their seatmate or making crying faces to portray how grateful they are.
âThank you so much, Ms. ____!â
âI love you, Ms. ____!â
âMs. ____, I will offer my first child to you,â one theatrically adds and you smile a bit, rolling your eyes at students like this one who is now opting to flatter you way too much for your act of kindness.
âAlright, alright. Just get it done and Iâm expecting quality work, okay? Class dismissed.â
The whole class begins to gather their things at the cue and you donât stay there a minute longer after your announcement, exiting the lecture hall to head to the faculty room where youâre certain half of the teaching staff have gone home already. Itâs already 8:47 p.m., and all you want to do is head home to get the rest you deserve after an eventful day.
There was a time that having a schedule from 6 p.m. to 9 p.m. wasnât the norm for you. You used to value work life balance so muchâit was even a nonnegotiable you used to say in interviews, saying that if you didnât get enough rest within the week, then the job most likely wasnât for you. But things have been very different for the past months; you have definitely grown out of that mindset due to the fact that youâre simply in need of another source of income to pay for your monthly rent, utility bills, and now your medication. Youâre in a stage of your life wherein you consider working part time as a professor was a blessing rather than a big nuisance.
Making a right turn to where the hallway to the faculty room is, youâre too busy rearranging the papers inside the folder youâre holding to notice a man sitting on the bench placed just beside the entrance. He notices you the second you appear in his line of vision though; he straightens his posture and proceeds on standing up immediately upon seeing you closer, calling your name softly when you failed to look at his direction, too preoccupied with the thought of finally coming home that youâre oblivious that the man trying to catch your attention is Jeon Jungkook.
â____,â he calls again and this time you notice him, your eyes widening instantly.
âHoly shiââ You stop yourself from finishing that sentence. âJungkook?â
He grins. âHey, lamb chop.â
âWhat the hell are you doing here?â
âIs that how you greet an old friend?â
âOh, fuck off.â
He laughs, following suit to you whoâs already giggling just by his presence alone, outstretching his arms then. âYou gonna hug me or what?â
You beam and step forward to embrace him. He returns it without hesitation, muscular arms circling around you and squeezing tightly that it lifts you up from the ground for a quick second. The faint smell of fabric conditioner on his clothes enters your nostrils and you feel like a teenager again, warmth rushing to your face while your heart hammers loudly in your chest. Regardless of how old the both of you are, you think your hopeless crush on the guy will forever live on and constantly transform you into a middle school girl whenever opportunities like these to have him near arise. Youâre just happy youâve trained yourself to be better at hiding it now compared to when you were younger.
âArenât you supposed to be in base or wherever it is that youâre designated?â you ask, the first to let go from the hug.
âActually, I returned from deployment three days ago. Iâm on leave for two weeks.â
âWow. Two weeks, huh?â
âYep. Itâs the longest break Iâve gotten in a while.â
âThatâs good. Everybody needs a break from time to time.â
âSays the girl has a day job and a night job.â He points out with a smirk; your heart does a little leap at how handsome he looks doing that. âWhen the hell did you get into teaching, by the way? I never pegged you to be the kind who can tolerate it. You hate kids.â
âYouâll find yourself tolerating lots of things in this economy.â You snort. âAnd my students arenât kids. Theyâre in college.â
âYeah, which you graduated from six years ago. Still technically kids.â
âAre you seriously jabbing at my age when youâre two years older than I am?â
He rolls his eyes at that one, an indication that you won the argument. âAnyway,â he starts again and you grin, âI didnât come here to compare how old we areââ
âYou didnât?â
He sends you a look. Your grin gets even wider.
âIâm here because I was hoping to treat you to dinner.â
âDinner?â you repeat, not masking the surprise from your voice.
Letâs get the facts straight before we proceed to this conversation.
It isnât a lie when you say that you and Jungkook are great friends. You have been since you were 7 and your family just moved into the house next to theirs. He was a natural playmate, a companion when you couldnât tolerate the antics of your older brother, the boy who looked out for you aside from said older brother, and the person youâve shared significant history with throughout your youth that you can never seem to forget nor disregard.
Itâs just that you never deemed that you were great enough friends for him to go out of his way and visit you at your workplace, offering to treat you for dinner. Gestures like that were reserved for your older brother, Seowon, whoâs the same age as he is and who youâre sure is considered as his best friend. Compared to them, yours and Jungkook���s dynamic shifted slightly after graduating from college. What once was a really close friendship turned into a casual one, with mostly just teasing, light talks, and the occasional welfare checks at times you hear certain news from the other thatâs worth speaking directly about.
At the mention of that, realization dawns on you on why he must be here.
âJungkookâŚâ Youâre trying not to sound mad but you canât hide the exasperation from your voice. âThatâs not the real reason youâre here.â
âOf course, it is. Why else would I be here?â
âHe told you, didnât he?â you ask, not willing to drag this out. âYouâre just going to give me another lecture that I definitely donât need.â
Jungkook frowns, like heâs dismayed that you caught on pretty swiftly.
âIâm right, arenât I?â You pressed.
âHe meant well, ____.â
You scowl. To remark that Seowon is unnecessarily nosy and coddling would be an understatement. That man hasnât left you alone the second he was aware of your condition. Usually, whenever he gets into his âbig brother tendenciesâ, his girlfriend Winnie steps in and helps you lay him off your back. However, itâs different this time; no matter how much you reinstill your independence and insist that youâre fine, itâs like youâre talking to a wall.
âWhat exactly did you hear from him?â you query.
He seems hesitant in answering that. âThat you got diagnosed with type 1 diabetes.â
You wince.
âLook,â he steps forward towards you, âI wasnât going to bring it up unless you did, okay? Iâm just here because Iâm genuinely worried about you and I want to know how youâre doing.â
âIâm fine.â You murmur. âYou donât need to worry.â
âWorry doesnât vanish magically just because someone says so.â
âWell, it shouldâbecause Iâm fine.â
âYou sure? I heard that youâre struggling to buy insulin among other things youâre having a hard time paying.â
âFuck. Seowon told you that too? Thatâs private.â
âMy parents know. He just filled me in because he wants you to have as much support as you can get.â
âI donât need that. Iâm an adult. Iâve lived by myself for years. I can fend for myself just fine.â
âIt doesnât look like it from what Iâve been hearing.â
âAll youâre hearing is a warped and exaggerated version of the story told by Seowon who wonât listen to a word I say.â You huff. âIâm fine and Iâve been doing everything I can, alright? Iâm taking care of myself. Iâm going to the doctor whenever I need to. Iâm making ends meet, buying treatment for this goddamn disease and regulating my sugar levels all the fucking time. Why do you think Iâve been working two jobs for the past year? Itâs because Iâm doing everything I can to stay alive.â
Jungkook doesnât reply, he only remains gazing at you.
âIf youâre here to offer me money or whatever because of what he said,â you add, already embarrassed that you canât even look at him anymore, âthen I donât want it.â
âThatâs not what Iâm here for,â he says.
âThen are you really just here to treat me to dinner?â you question sarcastically.
He laughs and you dare return your eyes at him, catching him peering at you with a fond expression. âYes. Itâs my way of doing a welfare check.â
âWelfare check.â You echo with squinted eyes. âWell, in that case, here I amâalive and healthy.â
âI can see that, and Iâm glad.â He smiles. âBut I need more than just seeing you. I need a conversation and an apology.â
âAn apology?â
âFor being the last person to know about your condition.â
âAnd weâre still talking about that apparently.â You mutter under your breath. âSorry. I didnât think that you wanted to know.â
âOf course, I would have wanted to know. Itâs you weâre talking about here.â
Something about how he said you causes your lips to twitch as you fight off a smile. This isnât a good time to dive into your romantic feelings for your childhood crush, but when heâs letting go of lines like that which are sure to have your heart soaring out of your chest, itâs hard to keep on a cool and unfazed facade. You just convince yourself that he sees you as a little sister and thatâs why heâs so worried; you should already be past your âdeluluâ phase at this age to be affected by such statements.
âI didnât want to add to your worries,â you reason. âYou already have your life to think about. Add to the fact that youâre a naval aviatorâso you literally have your own life first to think about.â
âI can make space for you.â
Is he flirting? Is this a normal thing to say between friends?
You blink. âOkay, uh, thatâs⌠thatâs completely up to you, I guess.â
âI just like knowing those things first hand. It makes me worry less.â
âGot it. Next time I learn Iâm dying, Iâll tell you.â
â____,â he says your name in warning, and you know heâs serious.
âSorry.â You heat up. âI couldnât resist.â
âDonât be a pain in the ass.â
âI promise thatâll be the last time I make a dark joke, Lieutenant.â
Jungkookâs nostrils flare. You prevent yourself from grinning like a fool again in success of getting on his nerves.
âAre you done here? Because Iâm hungry and would really like to get going now.â He changes the subject and gestures to the faculty.
âYeah. Iâll just get my things and then I can get out of here.â
âGreat. Youâre letting me take you to dinner, right?â��
âDo I have a choice?â
âNo.â
âFine.â You deadpan.
This time, heâs the one whoâs beaming at you. âIâll wait for you here and we can go.â
âOkay.â
****
When Jungkook discovered that you had type 1 diabetes through a phone call with Seowon, he spent the rest of the night staring at the ceiling, ignoring the snores of his squadmates and overthinking whatâs supposed to happen to you now that you had an autoimmune disease which he was told didnât have a cure. He was assured that you were okay despite it, that there was medication to treat it, and that you had access to them and have been very careful with your lifestyle due to the diagnosis ever since.
He still couldnât be put to ease though. As ridiculous as it may sound, he had this overwhelming realization that life truly was short, that you had to make certain decisions all the time because you need to adjust to what the universe is only willing to give you. It was funny coming from a person who risked his life for a living. He thinks that perhaps he never understood the philosophy of the quote âtime is goldâ until he had a loved one on the same trajectory, always one step closer to possible death.
And so that same night, he decided to file a leave for two weeks, effective immediately after his deployment.Â
He wasnât sure what his game plan was exactly in filing that two-week leave. Was he supposed to barge in your life and force you to let him take care of you? Was he supposed to demand why you ended up having diabetes? Was he supposed to act as a big brother like your actual big brother because he was that worried about you? But if Jungkook was going to be truthful, he already had an idea on what he wanted to do in the back of his headâhe just didnât want to execute it because it was absolutely insane.
Until he heard Seowon suggest it himself when they met up at a bar to share a drink together.
âShe would never say yes,â Jungkook said, beyond doubt that you wonât be persuaded that easily with a plan like that.
Seowon made a face. âI know. That girl is so hyper independentâsheâd rather die than accept help.â He scoffed. âShe needs it though. Itâll help with her medication and she wonât have to pay rent for that shit apartment sheâs living in. Plus, she'll actually get the chance to take care of her body if sheâs not juggling two jobs to have sufficient income.â
âYouâre right.â Jungkook shrugged.
âYouâll do it then?â
He took a sip of his beer. âYeah. Iâd do anything for ____, you know that.â
âEven as crazy as marrying her?â
âSure.â
Seowon stared at him, narrowing his eyes and morphing his expression into a teasing one. âAre you sure youâre not just considering this because itâs a perfect excuse to marry my sister? I know you like her.â
âI donât like her.âÂ
âYouâre in love with her.â
âI donâtââ Jungkook began to deny but Seowon was staring him down. âFuck you, man. Donât make me some kind of pervert whoâs trying to lock her into marriage because he likes her. Youâre the one who brought the idea up.â
Seowon laughed out loud. âI know, I just canât believe youâd agree. Itâll benefit ____, thatâs for sureâyou, on the other hand? Itâs career suicide.â
He shrugged. âIâm okay with the thought that sheâll be okay.â
âBecause you love her, man.â Seowon pushed. âWhy on earth would you consider this if you werenât? Itâs a fraudulent marriage. Youâll be thrown in the brig and be dishonorably discharged if you get caught.â
âWe donât even know if sheâll agree to this whole thing. You said it yourself, she would never say yes.â
âYeah, unless maybe youâre the one who tries to persuade her.â
âMe?â
âYes.â
âDo you want me to buy her a ring and kneel down before her or something?â
âThat can work.â
âWhat?â Jungkook laughed.
Seowon raised an eyebrow. âDonât tell me you donât know how sheâs been crushing on you since we were kids.â
He barked out a laugh again. That he knew; it was impossible not to when a lot of friends and cousins kept on teasing you before, especially at instances Jungkook was in the very same vicinity. âWeâre not kids anymore and I barely see her though.â
âStill, it ought to count to something. It raises the chances of her agreeing.â
âYouâre really cool with me marrying your sister, Won?â Jungkook asked.
Seowon placed down the beer bottle heâs consuming on the counter. âYeah. Youâre a good guy. Youâre not perfect, but I know you enough to know that you wonât do anything that will purposely hurt her. Besides, if this sham marriage ends up to be a real relationship and then for some reason, you fuck up and decide to break her heartâIâll easily know what to do, where to find you, and then Iâll do everything I can to fuck you up.â
Jungkook pressed his lips together to stifle a chuckle.
âNoted.â
****
Itâs always been a big wonder to you how no matter how long itâs been since you saw each other, it still feels like no time has passed between you and Jungkook. You think thatâs why you can never get over him; he always had this comforting and familiar aura that you appreciateâsomething that you sought for in every other person that you liked. Maybe it was impractical, maybe it was the reason you can never hold a relationship for more than two years, but unless you gain the courage to confront your feelings and tell Jungkook about it, then you constantly dispel any doubts you might have whether this was good for you or not.
You donât want to lose him. Admitting that you harbored romantic feelings for him would just make it awkward for everyone: your brother, your family, and then his family. You donât think you can ever trade his smile, the sound of his laughter, and all the good things about him for anything in the world.Â
âAre you dating anyone?â he asks.
You choke on your drink, having just poured yourself and Jungkook a glass of water after the server arrived with the pitcher. Youâre in a Japanese restaurant near the university, aware that the cuisine was a favorite for the both of you hence why itâs what you recommended when he asked where you wanted to dine. The place is packed with people from the workforce and students; youâre thankful that you donât see any of your students within the mix.
âWeâre getting straight to it, huh?â you say.
Jungkook smirks. âIâm just making sure Iâm not upsetting a boyfriend by meeting you tonight.â
âDonât worry, youâre not upsetting anyone.â
He nods in understanding. You donât want to add more meaning to his actions for the evening but he seems glad about the information.
âHow about you?â you ask back. âAre you dating anyone?â
The ends of his mouth lift a bit upwards. âNope.â
âWhy? You donât have the time for it?â
âPrecisely.â
âIt must be really hard dating when youâre in the Navy then.â
âKinda. Weâre away a lot and stationed in different places most of the time. It can get really dangerous for us too and people donât like the stress that comes with that.â
 You bob. âDoes it get lonely?â
âSometimes, but when youâre on duty, you donât get to think about those things.â He chuckles. âBesides, I donât know if this sounds fucked up or notâbut it can get exciting. Flying a plane can be fun, you know. Not to mention that it helps when youâre surrounded by good men in your squadron.â
âYouâve always been an adrenaline junkie.â
âAnd youâve always been a scaredy-cat.â
You scoff at the declaration. âNo, Iâm not.â
âRemember when Seowon and I forced you to ride that ship in the amusement park that sways left to right and as it goes on it falls from a higher standpoint?â
âI donât know what youâre talking about.â
But you do, and Jungkook knows you do, itâs evident by how your expression is trying to feign innocence. That memory is your villain origin story; the whole pretext of why you refuse to ever visit the amusement park or ride an exhilarating ride again. Yet you canât help but recall that itâs one of the rare instances wherein you got to hold Jungkookâs hand when you two were younger, as his hand was the one you were clinging for dear life when it happened while the other was too busy slapping Seowon in irritation.
He snickers, appearing like heâs replaying the scene in his head. âWe should do that again with Seowon during my break.â
âHell no.â
âI thought you werenât a scaredy-cat?â He challenges.
âIâm not.â You give him a kittenish glare. âBut I am busy. I have to send the final manuscript of this book Iâm editing to the chief editor next week and itâs about to be finals week for my students as well.â
He fakes a shiver. âI donât know how you can do two jobs like that, ____. Truly.â
âYou work as a naval aviator so Iâd say weâre pretty even.â
The waiter arrives with your orders not long after, and you and Jungkook carry on with your conversation, jumping from topic to topic without difficulty. Youâre not certain when was the last time you saw each other like this to have so much to talk aboutâwas it last Christmas? Or was it more recent or longer than that? Nevertheless, it feels good and you find yourself blushing multiple times throughout the night, whether itâs because of how his words can have two meanings or how his eyes are staring at you so intensely whenever youâre the one whoâs talking.
You like the undivided attention, the back and forth thatâs occurring as you discourse, the subtle touches one of you does when something funny arises, how your knees are touching underneath the table. You wonder whatâs so different with this encounter that the energy feels so bizarre in a good way? As far as youâre concerned, youâre positive that youâre acting like you always have in his presenceâlively, smiley, sarcasticâand aside from the little touches of flirting here and there, Jungkookâs acting like he always has too.
When dinner was done, Jungkook offered to drive you home. You obliged, no longer in the mood to annoy him for you were tired to make the effort. Before stepping outside the restaurant however, you excused yourself to the restroom first, checking your blood sugar with the glucose meter you brought along wherever you went. Itâs a hassle but itâs necessary, largely because youâre still in the middle of saving up for the insulin pump that would help you regulate your sugar levels easier.
After administering yourself with the insulin injection you have, you spend a few more seconds inside the enclosed room. You should be past the point of feeling sorry for yourself, but itâs times like this wherein youâre with a loved one that the dejection hits and you wish that youâre in a better predicament than you are right now. Youâre close to being broke, youâre overworked, youâre somehow fatigued all the fucking timeâthose factors arenât soothing your worries at all. Itâs a miracle how you manage to keep an optimistic mind amidst everything.
âReady to go?â Jungkook smiles at you once youâre back at the table and you nod, clutching your bag tighter against your body and following him to his car.
He drives you to your place, turning the radio on, and letting it play while the both of you sit in silence. Youâre both tired and you almost even sleep during the ride. Itâs only when Jungkook gently shakes you awake that you realize that youâve arrived in front of your apartment building.
âIâll walk you up,â he insists as youâre unbuckling the seatbelt.Â
âThatâs no need, Kook.â
âOf course, it is,â he says. âIâll walk you up. Thatâs nonnegotiable.â
So, you allow him.
It takes five minutes tops to reach the door leading to your apartment. As you rummage through your bag to grab your keys, Jungkook patiently stands there, occasionally glancing around the hallway and even smiling when the old lady that resided in the same floor got out of her room to throw out the trash. He receives a smile in return which you notice and grin fondly at.
âWell, this is me.â You turn to him, done unlocking your door. âIâd invite you inside but you should probably get going. Itâs quite a long drive back home.â
âYeah.â He breathes out a chuckle. âHey, tonight was fun. It made me realize how I missed you.â
Your brain temporarily malfunctions; you force yourself to recover quickly. âMe too. I had fun tonight. Maybe we should do this again whenever youâre on a break.â
âAgreed.â
You flash him a smile. âYou can go now. Goodnight.â
Jungkook nods, however doesnât move a muscle. Heâs looking at you, like really looking at you, his eyes moving from one feature to another, as if heâs memorizing your face or having a hard time arranging the words he wants to say. You guess itâs the latter, familiar with a tongue-tied Jungkook that it takes you a few good seconds before youâre demanding why heâs impersonating a mannequin.
âThereâs something I want to say,â thatâs what he utters and you almost snort due to your assumption being right.
âOkayâŚâ The smile is still on your lips. âWhat is it?â
âPromise me you wonât get mad first.â
âWell, if youâre making me promise that then itâs probably worth being mad about.â
âItâs not as bad as you think.â
âThatâs not convincing at all.â
âItâs justâŚâ He begins and trails, biting his lower lip, âitâs⌠itâs why I went here. Why I went here to see and meet you, I mean.â
You unconsciously recoil at the revelation. Itâs certainly a rookie mistake to believe that there was no ulterior motive in Jungkook meeting you today. You just didnât reckon youâd actually be truly disappointed at thatâat the idea that he just didnât randomly decide to visit and be with you earlier until now.
You draw a long breath. âWell, I knew you werenât just feeling generous and wanted to treat me to dinner out of nowhere.â
Thereâs a pause and then he resumes. âJustâbefore I say it, you have to hear me out, okay? You have to let me explain before you berate me.â
âI canât promise that either.â
âYou have to.â
âWhy do I have to?â
âBecause what Iâm about to say is for your own sake. You know I always have your best interest at heart, donât you?â
You wrinkle your forehead in further confusion. âCan you just get on with it? The vagueness is making me more annoyed.â
âI just donât want you to misunderstand.â
âMisunderstand what?â
âWhat Iâand Seowonâgenuinely think is the best option.â
âOh, and Seowon is in on this too?â You bellow. âHave you and Seowon just been conspiring behind my back the whole time?â
âCalm down.â Jungkook puts his hands on your shoulders, a chuckle inevitably escaping him. âIâm sorry for dragging it out. You should know Iâm high key afraid of you, thatâs why.â
âYou should be.â You grumble.
Another chuckle, but heâs back to appearing anxious. You want to shout that this isnât healthy, that youâre close to giving him a real reason to be afraid of youâyet once he blurts the confession out, youâre speechless, gawking at him and staggering backwards in complete shock. Perhaps you would have bolted as far away from him as possible if not for his solid grasp.
âWhat?â You hiss.
He swallows hard.
âI want you to marry me, ____.â
You donât bolt away running. You shake off his hold on you though, and before he gets another word in, youâre hastily rushing inside your apartment and slamming the door to his face.
****
Jungkook was your first kiss.
It happened in a game of truth and dare. You were at a party of a mutual friend and when the bottle miserably pointed in Jungkookâs direction, the person who was tasked to think of his dare when it was his pick said that he dared him to do 7 minutes in heaven with you.Â
He profusely refused at first, especially since Seowon was in the same party, but everybody began booing and next thing you know, Jungkook was agreeing as long as it was fine with you. When you nodded to make your consent apparent, your friends were quick to shove you both in the closet, some of them pulling Seowon back who was complaining how it wasnât right to bully you into doing 7 minutes in heaven with Jungkook. They calmed him down once they bullied him into agreeing too.
âWe donât have to do anything,â Jungkook told you in the darkness, his breath fawning over your face. âYou donât have to feel pressured. Itâs just a stupid game.â
You blushed.
Secretly, you were hoping that heâd kiss you or touch you. Who didnât want to do anything with their crush at the age of 15? A lot can happen in 7 minutes. You were aware that sometimes people made out, went as far as third base, and although you didnât want to go that far with Jungkook, you wanted something to happen while you were stuck in this small closet with him. There werenât a lot of instances that put both of you in this kind of situation; you wished that you were brave enough to ask him to kiss you or do the first move yourself.
5 minutes in, Jungkook turned towards you.
âIs it true that Taehyung kissed you last week?â
You whipped your head so fast that you might have given yourself whiplash. âThatâsâthatâs not true. Where did you hear that?â
âDuring homeroom. Some girls were talking about it.â
Your cheeks burned. âOh.â
âSo, itâs not true?â
âNo.â You shook your head. âI havenât even had my first kiss yet.â You laughed weakly.
It was his turn to seem stunned. âYou havenât had your first kiss yet?â
You shook your head again, then realized he might not see you doing so. âNot yet.â
âWant me to change that?â he asked, grinning.
He said that with a boyish grin and teasing tone, but you sucked at social cues (plus, you really couldnât see shit that much) that you started nodding.
âOkay,â you told him.
âHuh?â
âYou can kiss me.â
âOh, oh, shitâI didnâtââ He was blabbering, about to take back what he offered. âI mean, I was just joking butââ
You widen your eyes. âYou were? Oh my God, Iâm sorry, I thought you wereââ
âNo, it was my fault. That was a little out of line for me. Iâm sorry.â He was laughing and you felt like burying yourself 6 feet under. âIt was a stupid thing to say. But if you want me to kiss you, itâs cool.â
âIt is?â Hope sparked within you.
âYeah. Itâll just be a peck anyway.â You can tell he was smiling through his voice. âJust donât tell Seowon because he might punch me in the face for kissing his sister.â
You cackled. âDeal.â
56 seconds before the 7 minutes were up, Jungkook leaned down to match your level and placed his lips on yours.Â
****
Youâre seething with rage, the embodiment of Godzilla, channeling the God of War, Ares, in your body; you harshly press Seowonâs number on your phone to call him and he answers after three rings.
âWhatâs up?â
âI will fucking murder you,â you snarl.
A beat. You hear shuffling. Then he answers, âyou already talked with Jungkook?â
The nonchalance and calmness in his voice drives you to be more frustrated than you already are. âYes, I have! What is wrong with you? Why would you plant that idea on his head?â You yell, not caring that your walls are thin and that your voice can probably be heard by the couple that lived next door. Youâre feeling a mixture of anger, embarrassment, and every negative emotion that exists at the moment. Youâre comparable to a bull who just saw the color red.
â____, it wonât be a big deal if you donât make it to be.â
âAre you hearing yourself right now?â
âDid you even let Jungkook explain?â
âI donât need him to spell everything out. I know why heâs asking me to marry him.â
âThen you know too that itâd be good for you.â
âMarrying him wonât be good for me.â
âWhy not?â
âIt just wonât!â
âYouâll get health insurance benefits that you donât get with your current jobs. You can pay less rent once you move in at Jungkookâs placeâthereâs a huge chance he wonât even let you pay him while you stay there too. Heâs away most of the time anyway, so staying there wouldnât be a problem. Plus, you can start studying for a masters degree like youâve always wanted.â
You groan. âNot like this. This is crazy.â
âThe both of you can divorce once youâve saved up a little. It really isnât that complicated.â
âItâs a sham marriage!â
âItâs a sham marriage with Jungkook.â
âThat doesnât make it better.â
âAre you sure? Your grade school diary might disagree.â
âOh my God, thatâs fucking low of you to bring that up. You just gave me another reason to hate you.â You stomp around the living room, acting like a teenager because of your brotherâs behavior. This isnât the first time he revealed that heâs read your diary before; that doesnât mean itâs less infuriating to be reminded that he has. âI swear, you better fucking sleeping with one eye open tonight. Iâm choking you to death.â
Seowon laughs out loud. âJust marry him. Heâs surprisingly amicable with the idea.â
âThatâs because youâre pressuring him! I bet you and Mom devised this entire thing together.â
âMom doesnât know. To be fair, sheâd probably have the same reaction as you. Itâs all me and Jungkook.â
âWow. You have two brains and yet none of you thought this was goddamn stupid?â
âItâs not stupid. Itâs genius if you come to think of it,â he says. âJungkook just wants to help you, dude. He wants to make sure youâll be okay and all that shit. Youâre the reason he filed for a two-week leave, did he tell you?â
Your heart does that jumping thing again. âNo.â
âWell, he did. Heâs on a break for two weeks because he wants to convince you to marry him and actually marry you within that time frame.â
âThis is nuts.â You sigh, finally flopping down the sofa and rubbing your face with your free hand. âThe both of you are nuts. How are you okay with this?â
âItâs Jungkook. I trust him. Donât you?â
âOf course, I do, I justââ you cut yourself off and frown, âI just feel like itâs unfair for him. Iâm marrying him because of military spouse benefits and what does he get?â
Thereâs a long pause, and you almost check your phone to see whether Seowon has already hung up on you or not.
âItâs better that Jungkook answers that question,â he tells you finally.
âWhy? You canât answer it on behalf of him?â
âSomething like that.â You can imagine him shrugging. âAll I know is that heâs genuinely concerned about your health and your financial status right now. So, just think about it, okay?â
âGod, fuck it, fine. Iâll think about it.â You grimace.
You hang up and glance at the door.
You donât think the conversation you just had with Seowon took that much time. The initial rush you had upon having your longtime crush propose to you is wearing off and youâre realizing that it was a dick move to literally slam the door right in Jungkookâs face earlier, leading you to stand up from your seat and look through the peephole to check if heâs still there.
He isnât, which you sigh in relief at.
As you lean against the door and regulate your breathing, you think how funny it is that Seowon is right about one thingâand that was grade school you would have been delighted at the thought of getting married to Jungkook. Heâs your dream guy; your parents loved him, his parents loved you, the both of you got along very well, and his personality and looks are everything that youâre looking for in a partner. It sucks that you live in a world where the only reason he wants to marry you is because heâs afraid youâll die because of self-neglect.Â
Your phone pings and you unlock the screen to look at the message that flashes on it.
Jungkook: hey, seowon just messaged me to say that you two already talked Jungkook: iâm sorry for jumping on you with a topic like that⌠Jungkook: iâm shit at confrontation lol Jungkook: also itâs the first time iâm proposing so give me some slack
You scoff at his audacity to joke about it this soon.
You: itâs okay You: iâm sorry too for what i did You: the answer is no btw
Jungkook: already??? Jungkook: letâs talk about it first
You: no need You: i donât want to marry you
Jungkook: oof thatâs harsh
You: sorry not sorry?
He doesnât respond and you think youâre safe. Maybe Jungkook does take no for an answer and youâre confused because youâre a little disappointed that heâs not falling on his knees, begging you to marry him like what your imagination is supplying you.
However, after you took a shower and went to check your phone again, you see that Jungkook messaged you a few minutes ago in response to your last message.
Jungkook: give me 10 days and iâll change your mind
You have the urge to go take a shower again because of how hot your body is feeling at the statement.
You: hate to break it to you but youâre not matthew mcconaughey
Jungkook: đ¤Łđ¤Łđ¤Ł
****
Itâs not part of Jungkookâs branding to chase a woman. Typically, women chase him; they chase him in every city and country that he gets stationed in, flirting with him and hoping that theyâll get the chance to take him home for the night for a mindblowing one-night stand. They never succeed though, for despite their pretty faces and sultry gestures, Jungkook only smiles and declines every offer, saying that he had a girl waiting back home that he loved very much.
He used to think that he only used that as an excuse because heâs not the type to hook up with every attractive girl he meets. There are times when he succumbs, when he gives into the temptation of a little fun, especially after a life threatening or highly stressful missionâbut most of the time, he thinks he declines and use that pronouncement of his because his mind reverts him to the idea of you, to what would happen if he just gained the balls to ask you out.
Evidently, although asking you out and asking you to marry him are two completely different things, heâs a bit afraid that your answer will always be a hard no. Itâs what youâve been literally spelling out to him since the day he presented the idea, regardless of how heâs trying his best in swooning you or explaining how this is the perfect plan to help you gain an upper hand with your diagnosis.
âIâll file a restraining order against you, Iâm serious,â you say to him when he appears yet again outside the faculty room, waiting for you to gather your things and head home. Youâre wearing a white button up shirt and pinstripe wide leg trousers, an outfit combination that he ogles at before he goes down to business.
âYou wouldnât.â He glares at you. He gestures for you to let him take your backpack, and despite what you said, you let him. âAlso, what the fuck is in this thing? Youâll break your back if you keep using this.â He swings your backpack on one shoulder.
You laugh. âMy laptop, its charger, a couple of notebooks, books, pens, then the outputs of my students.â
âArenât they supposed to submit virtually? What happened to Google Classroom?â
âI still use it, but sometimes I like to have their work printed out so I can write the comments better. How do you know Google Classroom?â
âI have a squadronmate whose kid uses it for class.â
âAh.â You nod in understanding.
You two continue walking forward.
This has been your program for the past few days. Jungkook goes to the university you work at, heâll wait outside, youâll threaten him with something ridiculous, heâll take your bag, heâll offer to take you to dinner, youâll decline, and then heâll drive you home anyways. Before that routine ends, heâll lean on your door frame and give you his best puppy eyes, asking you to marry him for the sake of your welfare, and youâll scowl at him, insisting that you donât need his help to survive.
âDinner?â he asks, right on schedule.
You glance at him. âNo. I want to go home and sleep for 12 hours.â
âBusy day?â
âYep.â
âYou know, if you marry me, you wonât have to work two jobs and overexert yourself.â
He doesnât need to turn to you to know that youâre giving him a dirty look. âI wonât marry you, Jungkook.â
âWhy not?â
âBecause marriage doesnât work that way.â
âIt does. Billionaires do it all the time. The mafia does it too. Itâs always been some kind of transaction.â
âWell, if I marry you, what do you get?â
âThe assurance youâre taken care of.â
âThatâs cheesy.â
You share a laugh and he grins.
âItâs true,â he says. âIâll be fine as long as you are.â
He waits for you to quip back a reply, flickering his eyes to you when it takes longer than usual. Instead of the sneer heâs expecting, you appear to be flustered, an expression that is very recognizable for him whoâs known you since foreverâan expression that makes it too obvious for Jungkook that the crush you had on him that he thought has been long gone was still there. Heâs been seeing it a lot lately, particularly when heâs uttering lines that sound flirtatious on purpose; heâs positive that youâll threaten to kill him when you discover that he basks on the fact that he can still make you all flustered and cute, which encourages him to do and say anything that would elicit a reaction from you. Was it unethical to seduce you into marrying him? He might have to rethink that part too.
Reaching the parking lot, he unlocks the doors to his vehicle and places your bag inside the backseat. He watches you walk around the car, about to go to the passengerâs side, but then you wobble a bit and his attempt to get inside is instantly forgotten.
âHey,â he strides to where you are, gazing at you as you now hold onto the hood, âyou alright?â
You raise your chin up. âKook, can you get my bag?â
Jungkook doesnât need to be told twice. Heâs swinging the door again and getting your bag from the other end of the backseat while you get on the passengerâs seat, keeping the door wide and placing your legs outside, your feet planted on the concrete.
âWhat do you need?â he asks, crouching in front of you and zipping the bag open.
âGlucometer.â
He halts. âWhat does that look like?â
âItâs in the yellow bag. There.â You point at it right when he rummages through a certain part.
He brings it out and you take it from his grasp. Your movements are sluggish but he can discern that youâre doing your best not to be too slow; heâd present to help but he knows that he might prolong what youâre doing due to his cluelessness, so he just observes, noting how youâre pricking your finger with a device and then pressing it lightly to the glucometer which shows that your blood sugar is low.
âApple juice,â you mutter to him and he finds it faster than the last one.
You grab the juice pouch from his grasp, prying the straw attached on the back, pushing its end for it to pop out of its plastic coverâthen your hand shakes, preventing you from continuing and punching in the straw properly.
âLet me do it,â he says.
You donât fight him, you just slump against the seat as Jungkook picks up from where you left, and the moment he does the job and guides the straw to your awaiting lips, a long exhale through your nose escapes you.
âHow are you feeling?â he whispers. He didnât notice that he was holding his breath the entire duration of the scene.
Another sigh. âBetter.â
âDoes this happen a lot?â
You seem to hesitate. âNot a lot. Just when life gets a bit too hectic.â
â____ââ
âJust take me home.â You donât give him the chance to lecture you. âPlease, Jungkook.â
Defeated, he nods. âAlright.â
âThank you.â
He helps you position yourself properly on the passengerâs seat. âBut weâre talking about this at your place.â
Before you can protest, he closes the door.
****
Lee Hyunwoo was the name of the guy that you brought home for Christmas Eve eight years ago. It was the first time that you did, and Jungkook hated how Hyunwoo was considerably handsome, intelligent, and kindâthe exact kind of person he always imagined you deserved.
In the short time Hyunwoo spent with theirs and your family that night, everybody loved him and was already inviting him to the next gathering, all the while Jungkook avoided him at every cost, puzzled by this strong dislike he was feeling for your guest. He was annoyed at the manner in which Hyunwoo had an arm around your waist the entire evening, how you grinned up to him, eyes sparkling and all that shit. Hell, you used to look at him like that.
âHoney, can you get the mango float we have in our freezer?â Jungkook heard your mother tell you, and without thinking, he stood up from his chair and made a beeline to where you were, telling you heâd accompany you to your house.
âThatâs fine,â you told him. âItâs literally next door.â
âYeah, but it might be heavy.â
âItâs not.â
âBetter safe than sorry.â
You rolled your eyes and agreed then, excusing yourself from Hyunwoo who was in an engaged conversation with Seowon. The pair were geeking out because of their mutual love for the MCU and the next film slated to be released the following year.
Upon arriving at your home, you dashed to the kitchen with Jungkook trudging behind you. He wasnât sure what his next course of action should be now; all he wanted was some alone time with you, away from the presence of that college boyfriend of yours, but now that he had that, he couldnât think of anything that he wanted to say or do. He wasnât even sure why he was feeling a bit jealousâwas it because of that saying? Wherein people are bound to want what they canât have? Or was it that you only appreciate what you had when youâve already lost it?
âHow long have you and Hyunwoo been dating?â he asked, leaning against the counter as you pulled your freezer open.
âFour months, I think.â
âFour months? And you already brought him home?â
You snorted at his tone. âHis family is in another country so I thought itâd be nice to invite him.â
âYou must really like him then.â
âYeah, but Iâm not in love with him or anything.â You placed the mango float on the space beside Jungkook on the counter. âHeâs nice, and he likes me too.â
âDoes he treat you well?â
You flashed your eyes at him, amusement dancing in them. âWhatâs with that question?â
âWhatâs with it?â
âNothing, itâs just thatâŚâ you trailed, a smirk etched on your face. âWait a minute, are you⌠you canât possiblyââ Jungkook was widening his eyes, ready to deny your accusation once you questioned whether he was jealous of Hyunwoo or notâ âare you pulling an overprotective brother skit on me, Kook?â
Fuck, thank God, he thought.
âI prefer âoverprotective friend skitâ,â he said.
âThat doesnât have a nice ring to it.â
âBut Iâm not your brother.â
âYou donât have to be, Iâm just saying that you and Seowon have been acting similar since Hyunwoo and I arrived.â
âNonsense. Seowon likes him.â
âOh, so you donât?â
He pressed his lips into a tight line.
âDid you just admit that you donât like Hyunwoo?â you asked, chuckling. He was grateful that you didnât seem to be offended by it.
âI didnât say I didnât like him.â
âInstead you implied it.â
âNo, I didnât.â
âYou kinda did.â
He heard you laugh and he couldnât help but allow himself to laugh as well.
âIâm sorry,â he apologized. âMaybe Iâm just not used to you dating anyone. You are chronically single.â
âCanât say youâre wrong.â You snorted and picked up from the mango float, marching back to his house and gesturing for him to follow you.
He did, no words spoken between the both of you once more. Though when you were entering their place again, with Jungkook holding the door open for you, he mentioned something he never reckoned heâd have the guts to mention out loud.
âWhen you open my gift,â he began, âdonât do it in front of Hyunwoo, okay?â
âWhy not?â You werenât paying attention to where you were going, intrigued by his warning.
âHe might not like it. Youâll see.â
That night, at the comfort of your bedroom, Hyunwoo nowhere near but instead sleeping at the coach downstairs in your living room, you opened Jungkookâs gift and saw that it was a necklace with your birth flower as its pendant.
You smiled, rolling your eyes to yourself, and slept with that giddy look never leaving your face.
****
âNot so fast,â Jungkook grunts.
Did he think that you were going to be less difficult since he was helpful earlier? Yeah, he did. He likes to think that if it wasnât for him, you would have taken longer in feeding yourself with apple juice, so he at least wanted a thank you in the form of your willingness to have an adult conversation with him tonight. However, that clearly isnât the case because when he walked you up to your apartment like he always did, youâre attempting to lock him out, shutting the door as fast as you can once youâre inside, thus trying to prevent him from initiating that talk he wanted the two of you to have.
âSeriously?â He successfully pries the door open and you scowl at him.
âJungkookââ
âNo, you donât get to reason your way out of this. Iâm done hearing you out. Itâs your turn to listen to me.â He steps inside your apartment.
You groan, striding to the sofa and throwing your bag there. âYou canât force me to marry you.â
âIs marrying me so fucking bad that you canât get over it for health insurance benefits that can really help you?â He demands, infuriated.Â
âThatâs not the issue.â
âThen what is?â
âYou can get arrested!â you exclaim. âAnd so can I! Does that not freak you out?â
âWeâll only get arrested if we get caught.â
âIâm not willing to take the risk.â
âIâm not willing to see you die.â
You scoff out a laugh. âWho the fuck said anything about dying? Iâm not dying.â
âYou almost passed out on me. You almostââ
âItâs an error on my part, I admit.â You sigh. âWhen I get busy and preoccupied, sometimes I forget to check my sugar levels regularly throughout the day. Iâm sorry.â
âAnd you expect to be convinced that you have everything handled?â
âGod, Iâm not a child. Stop treating me like I canât do shit for myself.â
âPlease, ___,â he approaches you with the most pleading expression he can muster, and he watches as your hard expression crumbles, âjust accept my help. Itâs really not a big dealâyou wonât even see me often, so keeping up with the whole marriage ploy wouldnât be difficult. Weâll divorce in two years, we can pretend we never got married after that.â
âYou just donât get it, donât you?â
âWhat do I not get? If you think I donât understand something, then explain it to meââ
âI canât marry you,â you say. You do so like itâs final, like thereâs no point in arguing with you because he can never change your stand on this. As heâs pleading with his eyes to urge you to agree, youâre communicating with your eyes in a similar way thatâs wishing he would just drop this. âItâs wrong.â
His eyebrows furrow. âThis isnât the time to go on your high horse and decide whatâs wrong and whatâs not. Itâs a fraudulent marriageâof course, itâll be wrong to some degree.â
âNo, I meanâŚâ You turn away from him, rubbing your face in exhaustion. âItâd be wrong of me to marry you. Iâm taking advantage of you if I do, and I donât like that.â
Jungkook shakes his head, frustration worsening at the childlike excuse. Surely, you werenât that naive, were you? âYouâre not. Iâm not doing this against my own will. Besides, we get extra pay just for being married. If it makes you feel better, I wonât split it with you.â
âThat wonât make me feel better.â
âThen what will?â
You flop down on the coach and lean back, closing your eyes. He knows heâs being a pain in the ass but he canât just stand here and do nothing. He thinks heâs already come too far in convincing you, he isnât going to back out now. Every single day spent together, he can feel you warming up to the idea of marrying him for health insurance. Your connection and entirety of your relationship has been off the charts recently that itâll be harder for him not to be assured that before he leaves for his job, youâll be taken care off.
Jungkook goes to the spot beside you, sitting down. Your knees bump together, he keeps on gazing at you, waiting for you to focus on him; a minute passes and his gaze moves to your hand thatâs laying on the small space between you.
Without overthinking, he stretches out and clasps it, allowing his fingers to play with yours that finally captures your attention. The moment he glances up, he sees that youâre staring at him and he doesnât let go, he even smiles, a quiet promise that heâs always willing to listen to whatever you want to tell him.
You hesitantly smile back. âYou know,â your eyes train back to your intertwined fingers, Jungkook reveling in the warmth of your skin, gaining more confidence in acting out his feelings, âthere was a time wherein I would have said yes immediately if you asked me to marry you.â
He smirks, canât deny how hearing that inflates his ego a bit although this route in the conversation isnât where he expected to go. âWhat changed?â
âFor one, I grew up.â
âOuch.â
You laugh. Then you stay quiet for a while before speaking. âCan I confess something?â
That piques his interest. âAnything.â
âBut you have to promise not to make fun of me.â
âThatâs impossible.â He teases. âWhat is it?â
You stall, readjusting your position so that you can directly face him. Jungkook doesnât let go of your hand, he keeps it in his grasp, his thumb rubbing along the expanse of your knuckles.
âI like you, Jungkook. I really really do,â you finally say and he blinks, startled.
It shouldnât surprise him, considering that itâs been long established that he knew of your crush already, though he doesnât seem to have anticipated for you to boldly admit it when all these years, itâs only been some kind of unspoken understanding that neither of you downright acknowledged.
You continue speaking. âIn fact, I like you so much that maybe it developed into love at some pointâIâm not sure. Iâm at this stage of no longer being afraid of what I feel, I think? Most of the time, I just let it occur like itâs something so natural. Like itâs a feeling that I can never get away from? Like whatever I do, thereâs no way to shake you.â You chuckle half-heartedly. âThough never in a million years would I have thought that Iâd confess all of this. What for anyway? I donât want you to be burdened with what my teenage heart couldnât rub out.â
His mind is racing; hundred thoughts, hundred scenarios, hundred experiences heâs spent with you since the day you met. Jungkook never realized how much he needed you to say that you liked himâthat maybe you even loved himâuntil he heard it from your very mouth that you did, causing every inhibition and doubt he had to vanish. Now, he only wants to engulf you in an embrace and shout Yes, I feel the same way! Sorry for being a fucking corward and not doing this first!
He would have done all of that in a flash if it didnât appear that you still had something to say. Based on your rather constipated posture and the hand heâs holding thatâs becoming clammy, he discerns that youâre just in the first part of what you wanted to admit.
âActually, thatâs also why I canât let myself marry you,â you say. âI know it sounds ridiculous, but I donât know⌠it feels really icky somehow. I feel like Iâm holding you hostage, or that Iâm tricking you because of an ulterior motive, or that Iâm defying the laws of the universe by having the chance to marry you. Iâm not sure. I just know that I donât want to marry you if it means Iâll only get to do so because you think youâre doing me a huge favor. I donât want to be your charity case, KookâI deserve to be more than that, you know? Iâm not traditional or whatever but if itâs not for love, Iâm not keen on getting married.â You abruptly pull away from his clutch, embarrassment washing on your features by what you stated. âPlus, two years might not be that long but what happens when you meet someone and you like her? How can you explain that youâre only married to me because I need it for my medication? Itâll just be unnecessarily messy. I donât want to hold you back from those kinds of things. I donât want to be a hindrance.â
Thatâs his cue. Thatâs when he knows heâs supposed to kiss you and take your breath away, to admit that heâs certain that he has loved you since that one time when he was in the Naval Academy and although the training was hard as fuck, the thought of you gave him strength and he didnât want to see anyone as much as he wanted to see you afterâthat when you and Seowon visited him, that familiar urge to have you alone was all he felt the entire time, solidifying the idea that perhaps he didnât just see you as a friend.
âYouâre unbelievably dense, ___,â he murmurs, smirking at the play of events, and you glance at him, expression showing disbelief that heâs somehow treating this matter lightly.
âWhat?â
âDo you honestly think I go around and offer marriage to every woman out there who can benefit from being a military spouse? Do you think Iâm that generous? Iâm not. I wouldnât ask anyone to marry me for the same reason if they werenât important to meâor if I didnât like them. Iâm not that much of a saint,â he adds. âI mean, Iâm taking a two-week break to convince you to marry me. Iâm spending time with you every single day. Iâm driving for almost an hour and a half, enduring the traffic to get from my apartment to the university you work in to do thatâand you think this is because I want to be charitable?â
Silence. Your forehead wrinkles. He thinks youâre still not getting the point.
âIâm in love with you, ____,â Jungkook says.
Your breath hitches in your throat. Youâre opening your mouth, then closing it, then opening it again, then pressing it into a thin line. He thinks you look cute, being taken aback like this, and heâs wishing that heâs done this sooner so that the last five days of him chasing you around like a lost puppy was spent with talking more about whatâs possibly waiting for yours and his relationship next.
âAre you serious?â you ask after what seems like forever. âOr are you just saying that because youâre that desperate to have me on board with the whole fraudulent marriage thing?â
âGodââ Heâs inching closer to you now, laughing, watching your lips twitch at his reactionâ âIâm convinced that you were born into this earth to drive me fucking crazy.â
And just like that, he no longer restrains himself from kissing you.
It takes you a few good seconds before you will yourself to move. You canât seem to process the reality of Jungkook admitting that he was in love with you and then taking the liberty to plant his lips on yours. Youâre not complaining, of course, but you are a bit overwhelmed that it literally makes you freeze, unaware of what youâre supposed to do now that your fantasies are coming into life.
However, once you feel him angle his head to the side, doing so to deepen the kiss, your reflexes kick in and youâre kissing him back, encircling your arms around his neck and leaning towards him, Jungkook sighing in what appears to be relief. He grips your hips to support you as you try to straddle him, but your movements are so clumsy that you end up sprawling against his chest instead, perched on a leg of his that provides pleasure on the spot you need him the most. He chuckles at your lack of gracefulness, gliding his lips to your cheek and down to your jaw, nipping.
âThis okay?â he whispers with a palm drifting to your bottom.
You nod and Jungkookâs mouth is back on yours in an instant. He squeezes your ass, takes his time in fondling with it, cheekily slapping whenever you get brave yourself and push your tongue past his lips, before he skims his hand lower to your thigh and signals for you to mount him. Upon being properly sat on his lap, you get an immediate feel of his hard length through his jeans, prompting your imagination to run wild and induce the filthiest things he can do to you if neither of you stops.
âHoly shit,â he curses, your kisses roaming to the base of his throat where you lap and suck.
It becomes a dirty pattern for a while. The both of you will take a brief pause from making out to remove a piece of clothing or kiss every other exposed skin there is: the cheek, the jaw, the neck, the collarbones, the shoulders. Then one of you hauls the other back for another passionate kiss, hands skating everywhere on your bodies, sounds of arousal echoing inside the room; youâre starting to get lightheaded but youâre positive itâs not because of your sugar levels running low.
âI hate that it took us so long to get to this point,â he mutters.
You grin. âIâm sorry.â
âDonât apologize. Iâm the manâI should have confessed long ago.â
âWhy didnât you?â
âI donât know. âWas afraid to lose you, I guess.â He draws his head back and admires your blissed out expression. âBut then when Seowon told me you had diabetes, I panicked and thought that I might lose you either way.â
You go back to making out, Jungkook guiding your hips in grinding on his clothed length. Itâs addictiveâthe intimate feel of him, how heâs not shy in making sure you know how much heâs craving to be as close to you as you are to him. You think you can spend the whole night just doing this and be okay with it.
âFuck, Kook,â you groan against his mouth, a hand descending to his stomach and to his manhood, âyouâre so⌠so fuckinâ hard.â
Youâre palming him now, tracing the erection evident under his boxers.
He lets out a grunt. âYeah, baby, I know.â
âDo you⌠do you want meââ Youâre breathless, not able to continue whatever it is that you want to say.
He understands you just fine though. âNo.â He shakes his head. âDonât do anything.â
Youâre not sure what Jungkook means by that. How are you supposed to do nothing when you want to do everything to him? You soon comprehend what he means when he guides you to lay down on the sofa, when his lips skim lower and lower, passing your breasts, giving them the attention they deserve, until he goes lower than that and discards your underwear, kissing you in between your legs.
Itâs like heâs releasing all the pent up emotions heâs been keeping all these years. His tongue and fingers are relentless, his voice is telling you that heâs eager to coax an orgasm out of you, and as he lifts himself up to return to his previous position, face hovering yours, youâre positive that heâll get everything he wants because without a doubt youâll give him everything he wants from you too. Hell, if he uses this opportunity to ask you to marry him again, you might answer yes straight away, no longer bearing in mind the worries you expressed to him earlier.
Although did that even matter anymore? Jungkook said he loved you. He said you drove him crazy. You never thought youâd come to see the day heâd utter those words but here you are. The man of your dreams is kissing you, pleasing you, and looking damn enthusiastic as he does all of that.
âLast chance to stop me,â Jungkook teases. His eyes are glassy and you can feel his cock nudging on your thigh.
You giggle, bringing his head closer to press another long kiss on those pink and plump lips of his. âPlease never stop.â
âNever?â
âNever.â
âIâm going to take you up on that.â
âPlease do.â
After this night, youâre certain that youâll never allow yourself to be with another man aside from Jungkook. At the back of your head, you always thought that you were his, regardless if that wasnât true or that there was no real relationship to prove thatâhowever, at this moment, as he thrusts in and out languidly, you unquestionably know that you are. You belong to him now and he belongs to you; he lets you know through his love-filled gaze, his passionate kisses, and the manner wherein he moans your name.
âI love you,â he says, like heâs still in deep longing for your touch and affection.
You hum, tangling your fingers through the strands of his hair. âI love you, Kook.â You stare at his eyes. âI canât remember a time I didnât.â
A boyish grin erupts on his features.
Time passes by quickly. In a few more of his kisses, of the intoxicating slam of his hips, of his seductive whimpers, youâre coming beneath him, Jungkook pulling out and jerking his length until he too comes, his seed landing on the base of your tummy. You have the nerve to giggle at that, grinning at him with low-lidded eyes, and Jungkook hastily wipes his cum off your skin, attacking you with another passionate kiss that leaves you breathless.
âThereâs no way youâre not marrying me after this,â he murmurs.
You teasingly graze your teeth on his bottom lip. âIâll think about it.â
He groans. âDonât think about it. Just say yes.â
âAt least let me sleep on it, Kook.â
âFuckâfine.â He grabs your sides and pulls you flush against his body. âGuess Iâll have to keep on convincing you until you agree.â
****
âGod, why is this so difficult?â Jungkook whines, keeping you in his embrace, head tucked between your cheek and shoulder.
The air is very humid and Jungkookâs in his naval aviator uniform, which doesnât look cool in a sense that air is properly flowing through the material. He doesnât care though, doesnât care that itâs sticking to his skin as he refuses to let you go, not even when you complain playfully.
âKook, Iâm fucking sweaty.â
âI donât care.â
You laugh.Â
Heâs leaving to return to his duty and youâre here with him outside the base before he enters, being with him until the last possible minute because thatâs how much of a good wife you are.
Yes, you and Jungkook did get married. Three days ago in fact, at the city hallâs courtroom. Neither of you invited your parents; they didnât know about the occasion and you refused to tell them, afraid that they may be critical about yours and his choices when they discover the true reason why youâre rushing to be wed. The only people that remained to be aware of it was Seowon and his girlfriend, Winnie, who served as the witnesses, which was fine by you. In your understanding, this was just for the papers and your health, and not the real deal yet to be celebrated lavishly.
âIâll propose to you again after a couple of years,â Jungkook promised after the ceremony. âLetâs renew our vows and Iâll give you an amazing wedding.â
You would have told him that there was no need, but who were you kidding? You did want a proper wedding with Jungkook. The previous week didnât even feel like you were newlyweds. Yes, the both of you compacted all of the dates you could have if one of you werenât such a chicken in five days, and yes, though the honeymoon stage was experienced and practicedâit was only because you were a new couple who after years of hiding their feelings for one another, was now finally free to express it as much as they desired.
âCall me everyday?â you ask when he finally pulls back, Jungkook pecking your lips one more time.
âDefinitely.â He smiles. âVisit me whenever possible?â
âOf course.â You kiss him too.
His smile transforms into a grin. âTake care of yourself, alright? Keep me updated all the time. No sugarcoating allowed.â
âYes, Lieutenant.â
Rolling his eyes, he gives you another kiss and engulfs you in a tight hug, lifting you off the ground that causes you to giggle.
âOkay, pack it up, love birds!â Seowon shouts.
The two of you turn to your brother whoâs leaning on his car, the vehicle that was used to transport the three of you today. Youâre still in the middle of moving your belongings at Jungkookâs place and Seowon was kind enough to volunteer helping, always dubious that you could do stuff on your own. Despite your reluctance, you let him assist you, mostly because youâre trying to make a conscious effort in not upsetting him again.
Letâs just say that when the judge hailed you husband and wife at the civil wedding, Seowon wasnât thrilled to see that the kiss shared between you and Jungkook wasnât as fake as the supposed sham marriage, leading him to the conclusion that in the middle of Jungkookâs ruse of convincing you to be his wife, something must have happened that led to your approval and that rather 18+ rated kiss. Mostly though, heâs just offended that neither of you thought of telling him that you were an official couple before the wedding.
Jungkook unwillingly places you down.
âI think I need to go,â you say.
He nods with a sigh. âIâll miss you.â
âIâll miss you too.â
âCall you tomorrow?â
âYes.â You affectionately caress his cheek, bringing his face down for the very very very last kiss.Â
He leans into it. âFuck, I donât want to leave.â
âSeriouslyâhurry up!â Seowon shouts and you pull back.
âI will kill him,â you tell Jungkook.
âHeâs your brother,â he says. âAnd now, my brother-in-law, so I canât let you do that.â
âThat might be your very first red flag, Jungkook, insinuating that youâre choosing my brother over me.â You cross your arms. âTell me, if the both of us were drowning, would you save me or Seowon?â
âYou,â he answers without missing a beat.
You narrow your eyes. âIs that the truth?â
âOf course. Seowon would probably undrown himself anyway and youâre shit at swimming. Itâs an easy choice.â
You punch him hard on the shoulder and he feigns hurt, snickering. âFor the record, I donât think anyone can âundrownâ themselvesâbut fine, you pass the test.â
Jungkook faces Seowonâs direction and does a final salute, your brother returning it swiftly, and just like that, you and him share your last farewells. You watch as he goes through the entrance of the base and sends you a wave of goodbye; you weakly copy the gesture and stand there for a few seconds, just watching him fade from your view the further he trudges inside. You donât think saying goodbye to him ever felt this heavy, and you blame it on the fact that after all this is the first time youâre saying goodbye to him with the assurance that he loves you tooâand that alone weighs millions.
You spin on your heel and go to Seowon whoâs already in the driverâs seat. As soon as you get in and wear your seat belt, heâs giving you a dirty look.
âWhat?â you ask.
âPlease never do that in front of me again.â
His statement makes you smirk. âWhy? Didnât you want this?â
âWant what?â
âMe and Jungkook to be together.â
âWhen on earth did I say that?â
âYou previously admitted that you were lowkey playing cupid by suggesting that Jungkook marry me for health insurance.â
A short pause. âYeah, but that doesnât mean I have to watch you two reenact a porno every fucking time.â
âWeâre notââ
âYou are. Donât deny it.â He grumbles. âGod, every time I see you two, itâs like Iâm Ross from that one Friends episode where he accidentally sees Monica and Chandler doing it from the window of his apartment.â
âYeah, I remember that.â You laugh. âIn my defense, you havenât seen me and Jungkook actually do the deed soââ
âWait, so the two of you have?â
Your expression drops. His tone is approaching older brother protectiveness territory and youâre quick to attempt diffusing the situation. âI will not dive into that. All Iâm going to say is that Iâm a grown adult and so is Jungkook.â
He grimaces before starting the engine. âYeah, never dive into that. I donât need to hear the details.â
You share a laugh and then silence fills the car.
You press your lips together, looking at him while he backs out from the parking spot. âHey, thanks, by the way. For driving today, and for offering to help me later, and maybe for also never minding your own business.â
You recall how Seowon was the one who couldnât stop worrying about you and finding a solution when you told your family that you had type 1 diabetes. Your parents were concerned, they pestered you for months to force you to accept financial assistance from them, but they gave up soon after. Seowon though? He never did. He persisted through every outburst you had; he tolerated your bitchiness and your dirty looks all the time. Out of everyone in your life, you always felt like regardless of how stubborn and prideful you could be, Seowon was worseâin the best way possible.
A crooked smile illuminates his face. âYouâre my kid sister. Itâs my job to never let you experience peace in your whole life.â
You scoff. âWell, youâre damn great at what you do.â
When you reach Jungkookâs apartment, unloading the boxes and arranging your stuff to its designated places, your heart swells in happiness as the reality sinks in that your life is heading in the right direction after months of feeling hopeless. It drives you to be more thankful to the little things, to the people who were always by your side, to your previous circumstance that although wasnât ideal was still manageable. A lot donât get to have that kind of privilege and you promise yourself that youâll make an effort to find more things to be grateful about from this day forward.
âOh, I forgot to mention,â Seowon approaches in the middle of you arranging your books on Jungkookâs near to empty shelf, âWinnie wanted to give you this. She would have handed it over herself but sheâs going to be busy for the next few days.â
You take the frame from his hand and see that itâs the picture Winnie took of you and Jungkook after the ceremony. Itâs in the restaurant that you ate at to celebrate the civil wedding. Jungkook was grinning at you with an arm around on the backrest of your chair, you were leaning towards him, smiling at the cameraâand the absolute selling point of why this was the best picture ever taken was because of how cake icing was scattered on your faces, places on spots in an artistic manner like it was planted there on purpose for the picture and not because the both of you were being silly that instance.
You think it showcases your relationship with Jungkook marvelously. Itâs playful, itâs sweet, and most of all, it demonstrates how you two are clearly great friends.
âThis is so beautiful, Seowon,â you say.
You immediately send Winnie a heartfelt thank you message for the gift and continue to take a photo of the frame, sending it to Jungkook as well.
Once you hit send, you type out a message to accompany it.
You: look how cute we look đĽš
Youâre certain itâll take hours before he replies so you keep your phone again, going back to staring at the picture which is now placed on one of the shelves. Itâs the sole picture frame you have with Jungkook. In fact, itâs the only picture that Jungkook has in his apartment, and you like to think that this might be the mark of the new beginning youâll have with him. Even though your relationship wouldnât be traditionally explored given his occupation and how heâs most likely going to be away a lot, you donât mind.
If thereâs one thing you really believe in, itâs that waiting for Jungkookâwhether consciously or unconsciouslyâalways brings out the best outcomes.
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#jungkook#jungkook x reader#jungkook imagines#jeon jungkook#jeon jungkook x reader#jeon jungkook imagines#bts#bts imagines#bts x reader#bts drabbles#jungkook drabbles#bts scenarios#jungkook scenarios#jungkook x you#jeon jungkook x you#bts x you#jungkook fanfiction#bts fanfiction#jeon jungkook fanfiction
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it was one of my coworkers birthdays today and she was telling me abt her plans to celebrate and I'm only just realising now that I've left work that she was prolly trying to invite me.. đ¤Śââď¸
#SORRY FOR BEING SO OBTUSE WHEN IT COMES TO SOCIAL CUES.. my bad girl đ#she was talking abt how difficult organising it was bc not everyone was free on the same day so shes split it into 2 parties#and then she was like ah but i dont think i have you on facebook.... and i thought she was just commenting like 'lucky you dont use fb-#bc its so difficult to plan things using it' not 'do you have facebook. so i can invite you' which in retrospect makes way more sense đ#welllll ummm. if she brings it up again ill ask when/where it is and maybe ill be able to come along. i think its mostly ppl from work(?)#or she implied it was anyway#if she DOESNT bring it up im not gonna say anything bc that was embarrassing + my rsd is too strong to invite myself to smth like that#after all the times ive tried to do that before bc i misread things as an invite and got turned down. abysmally painful#and i dont know her THAT well. i mean weve worked together for 5 months but that doesnt count..#curious abt her life outside of work bc its hard to place how old she is.. she looks v young but ik she has a primary school age kid#so shes probably late 20s/early 30s???? but its rly hard to pin down an exact number..#shes sweet tho shes the one who also has adhd + her daughter is autistic#anyway..... bus take me hoooome#.diaries
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help me. i can't sleep
#the type of awake where i can't even keep my eyes closed#i has an alarm set for 11. and turned it off bc i could tell it wouldn't be enough sleep 𼲠11!!!!! is too early!!!!! đđđ i'm a mess man#i tried breathing exercises and counting breaths n all that but my brain keeps drifting away to bad places#and then i get mad at myself and start imagining tearing my own limbs off. as one does (i hate this fucking body so much i wish i was dead)#sorry for complaining on main it will happen again#broooooo i wanna take a bunch of pills to see if it puts me to sleep perhaps in the permanent sense.#i'm so incredibly frustrated. and tired of life. so tired. and i can't catch a break bc i'm a dumbass with a shitty brain â¨ď¸#ok now this is turning into a#vent#sorry.#suicide //#i'm doing really bad 𼲠really really bad. i always get extra bad before my birthday#and now is no different. i need to die before i turn 25
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Go Slow
Pairing: Logan Howlett x Reader
Warnings: SMUT! p in v, unprotected sex (wrap it before you tap it), riding, (brief) dry humping
Summary: it's your first time and Logan tries to go slow, he really does, but some things just can't be helped
Word count: 1.6k
A/N: i'm not too practiced in smut so sorry if it's shit đ
Logan knew you were on the shy side of things. During the start of your relationship heâd had to coax words from you, feelings and opinions you held until you felt comfortable enough to share them without being asked. Youâd be nervous and fidgety when asking to see him, acting like he was an attractive stranger when he was your boyfriend.Â
In all honesty though Logan didnât mind. He enjoyed your shy, almost naive personality, and was more than happy to wait for you to be comfortable with him before suggesting going any further.Â
Sure, it was difficult for him to wait, but not impossible. If his pants tightened slightly when you walked in the room with ridiculously short shorts and practically sat in his lap with them, you didnât notice. When you were sleeping in bed together and would unconsciously rub yourself against him, causing him to have to leave the bed for a bit lest he did something he'd regret, you remained blissfully unaware. And if he was putting away your laundry and came across a pair of lacy black panties with bows adorning it, you wouldnât even notice they went missing.
Logan was more than okay to wait.
You, on the other hand, were not.
It started with small changes in you and your actions, though Logan couldnât quite place his finger on what it was. You were more flustered around him than usual, jumpier and shier than youâd been before. You were quieter too, staring at him with more intensity than before, as if trying to read his mind. Yet it wasnât as if you were pulling away from him, because you were much more touchy and clingy than usual, always needing to hold him and often being the initiator of any make out session you two might have- which is as far as youâd gone.
It was during one of these sessions, having started when you both grew bored of the movie playing on the screen, that you started straddling Logan, kissing him with more fevor than you usually did. Surprised, though certainly not disappointed, Logan kissed you back, hands resting on your thighs and occasionally running up and down them when his control slipped.
When he felt you rock against him slightly he knew something was up. You were never this forward with him, and was always the one to stop Logan when he got a bit carried away. Yet there you were, gently rocking against him while you kissed, moving against his jeans almost desperately, rubbing against him until there was a rock hard bulge for you to move against and Logan had to gently push you off him.
Immediately you started apologising, looking at your hands nervously fidgeting with your t-shirt, refusing to so much as glance at Logan.
âHey, hey, youâre alright Bub,â Logan said gently. âI just donât want to do anything before talking about it first.â
You risked a glance at him, trying to find any lie in his face. âYouâre not angry at me?â
Logan would have laughed if he wasnât worried about upsetting you further. ââCourse not. I fucking loved that, actually, but we canât do it, or anything like that, without talking about it first. I gotta make sure youâre okay with it.â
You nodded your head with such eagerness Loganâs cock twitched in his pants. âIâm okay with it.â
He smiled at your needy demeanour and had to hold himself back from gladly going along with it. âWhat exactly do you want, Sweetheart? I gotta know that.â
You bit your lips shyly, glancing up at him from your lashes in such a way Logan was tempted to be fucked with all of this and just take you. Heâd been waiting for months, however, so he could certainly wait a few more minutes, and restrained himself as such.
âI want to feel good,â you mumbled quietly. âWant you to make me feel good.â
Oh fuck.
Logan wasnât sure he could handle this. Desire was coursing through his veins, his cock was throbbing almost painfully against his pants as he watched you, shy and naive but so wanting for him.
âAlright Bub, we can do that,â he eventually said, because fuck he wanted to make you feel good too. He wanted you moaning and whimpering his name, whining and panting underneath him because of him.
Yet as soon as he had you undressed and under him he could tell it wasnât what you wanted. You looked petrified, eyes squeezed shut as you waited for Logan to enter you, and that just wouldnât do.
âIâm not doing this Sweetheart,â he said, moving away.
You opened your eyes, seeming both relieved and disappointed at the same time. âWhat? Why?â
Logan sighed, wrapping you up in his arms and kissing your neck. Even with both of you naked it was surprisingly not desire filled and simply comforting. âBecause you obviously donât want it.â
You shook your head and turned around to face him, straddling him in a similar position as before. âI do want it. Just⌠it felt a bit scary like that.â
Logan thought about her words for a moment before inspiration struck him. âDo you want to ride me instead?â
You actually gasped, your eyes widening at the suggestion, yet he could also see the desire radiating off of you- he could smell it too- and feel the slick coming from your cunt at the thought. He smirked, taking that as a yes.
âIâm going to lift you up and slowly place you down on me. You can stop me at any moment, okay?â he asked you, wanting to make sure you were comfortable with this.
You nodded your head, looking apprehensive but also excited, as you glanced down at his hard on, licking your lips slightly. âI donât know if it will fit.â
Logan nearly groaned then and there. âIt will.â
Hesitant but sure, you let Loganâs hands wrap around your waist and lift you up, positioning his cock at your entrance. He gave you a few seconds to back out, and when you didnât, staring at him confidently, Logan sunk you down on his cock.
Fuck even just his tip inside you felt like heaven, your cunt squeezing against him. You let out a gasp and he hesitated, waiting, and you slowly nodded your head, giving him the go ahead to continue. He did so gently, making you take him inch by inch, stopping every so often for you to get used to the feeling of him until youâd finally taken all of him inside you.
The feeling of your walls squeezing his cock was heavenly. He could barely think, and all he wanted to do was fuck you hard and fast, chase the release he so desperately wanted. Yet he waited for it to feel comfortable for you, waiting for the pain to ease before he did anything.
âOkay⌠what now?â you asked in a timid voice.
Logan had to muffle the sound threatening to escape him at the sight of you blinking bashfully at him while he was inside you. It was too good to be true.
âNow you move,â Logan said roughly, because he didnât trust himself to move and not fuck you viciously like he wanted to.
You thought for a moment before giving an experimental rock, gasping at the pleasure accompanying the action. You repeated the rock again, then again, creating a slow but sure movement that was slowly killing Logan.
Every sway of your hips, the way you rode his cock eagerly if not skillfully, was pushing him closer and closer to the edge.
âThatâs it baby,â he rasped. âJust like that, youâre doing so good for me baby.â
You rolled your hips, whining at the praise and closing your eyes but only increasing your motions, one hand moving up to cup your breast. You grounded onto him, gasping when he hit that perfect spot, whispering Loganâs name like a prayer
He swore at the sight, and couldnât help the jerk his hips made, a small gasp escaping you. It felt so good, the spike of pleasure overwhelming and your readily response too much, and he did it again.
You moaned this time, a dirty, high pitched sound that was ringing in Loganâs ears, urging him on as he took your hips in his hand and lifted you up, only to slam you down on his cock again. Your moan was delicious, and you placed both your hands on his chest, moving forward to make him go deeper.
Logan did groan this time, and used your hips to continue moving you on his dick, his large hands squeezing the soft flesh of your hips. You were a whining mess, eyes glazed and body limp above him.
âFeel so good,â Logan grunted, thrusting into you. âSo fucking good for me.â
You whimpered, gasping as your eyes fluttered closed again. Logan grinned.
âYou like that baby? You like me telling you what a good girl youâre being, riding my cock so prettily.â
Your moans came more frequent, panting every second, and Logan could tell you were close. He increased his pace, wanting to see you fall apart in front of him, and wasnât disappointed by the result.
âCome on baby, cum for me.â
With a cry you threw your head back, ecstasy painting your face as you came, your walls tightening. The feeling of them squeezing Loganâs dick, your cunt milking it for all its worth was too much and he felt himself fall after you, his load of cum shooting into your already stuffed hole.
âFuck baby,â he cursed, helping you ride out both your highs, moving your hips over him.
You were still panting as you slowly came down from your high, boneless as you laid against Loganâs chest.
âYou did so good for me darling,â he murmured, kissing the top of your head.
You let out a sound, nuzzling his neck, and he happily held you against him, pressing kisses to your face and neck till you were ready to move.
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