#i tried 3 times i just got a black screen and couldnt do anything it was so weird

[lelianaslefthand]

okay but why is stardew valley's volume SO fucking loud compared to everything else? i just got confirmation that its not just me who noticed it. i have to have my volume at like 12 when i play 😭

[obsessive-ego]

Just go with it

Musical beetlejuice x reader

Lewd mentions

Beetlejuice needs you to pretend to be his fiance or he's in trouble

"Babes?"

...

"Babes, wake up"

....?

"Y/n wake up"

What?

Was your first thought as you are shaken awake by the ghost who has made your home his, you mumble out something unintelligible as you grope around for your phone, you cringe as the bright light of the screen blinds you, as your eyes adjust to the light you groan, 4am.

"Beetlejuice, what-"

"Okay, babes, no time to explain but I need you to pretend to be my fiance" despite the odd statement beetlejuice sounded a tad worried.

"What?"

"Long story short I may have said a few things to some guys, and if we dont pull this off I will be dragged back to the netherworld" the ghoul whispered dragging you out if bed.

"Oh" was all you could muster is your drowsy state.

"So theres a suit from the netherworld waiting to meet you, in your living room, now" beetlejuice continued rubbing the back of his neck.

You sigh and shuffle about your room, slipping on slippers and giving your hair a quick once over, as you reach for your housecoat beetlejuice swats away your hand.

"Bee-"

Beetlejuice drops his jacket around your shoulders "this will work much better babes, we need to sell this"

You groan, you were too tired for this, thank god you didnt work in the morning, who knows how long this shit is gonna take, but as tired as you were you couldnt let whoever take your ghost back to the netherworld.

"Okay you're my fiance, I proposed a week ago, and you're head over heels for me, that last part wont be hard to fake huh doll?" The ghoul gives you a wink, you sigh.

"Wait, almost forgot" the ghoul snaps his fingers, you feel a light squeeze on you right handed middle finger.

Upon your finger appears rather tacky, pretty ring, the band was black and white, and resembled a snake, the gem was a brilliant green, you honestly felt your heart squeeze when you saw it, to be honest staring at the ring felt like a dream, maybe because you just woke up? It was beautiful, and the idea of it being for real kinda hurt knowing it was for pretend, but those feelings didnt matter right now, Beej needed you to help him avoid being dragged back to the netherworld, you can think about those depressing emotions later.

The two of you leave the bedroom, beetlejuice takes the lead as you shuffle behind.

As the two of you enter the living room you could help but pause and stare at the 'suit' beej claimed that was waiting for you.

In your little arm chair sat a fairly tall skeleton man, his bones a blueish hue, wearing a lime green suit that looked fresh off the rack, guess not all dead guys wore dirty clothes, in all honesty this was your first time seeing another dead person aside from the maitlands and beetlejuice, they were human, beej was humanish, but this guy looked like he walked out of a cartoon.

"Sorry for the wait, you know breathers, they need to sleep" beetlejuice cackled snapping you from your thoughts "well there's y/n, theres the ring, and theres the door, feel free to use it" beetlejuice snears, wanting to get this whole thing done with, yes he adored messing with you, and with different circumstances this could have been funny, but too much was on the line for him and you were an awful liar, he loved you sure, but theres no way you could pull off lying.

"Y/n I presume?" The skeleton gestures to you, completely ignoring beetlejuice, you nod "its pleasure to put a face to the name, I apologize for the rude awakening, when you've been dead for as long as I have, you tend to lose the meaning of time, my dear this wont take long, we just need to clear up some loose ends then you can get back to your rest" the skeleton gestures you to sit on the couch next to beetlejuice who has already made himself comfortable.

You gently sit down next to BJ who was quick to drape an arm over your shoulders and pull you into his side.

The skeleton pulls out a clipboard from his jacket and flips through the pages

"Lawrence B Shoggoth, y/n m/n l/n, I have requested an audience with you two to clear up some issues with Lawrence's recent updated paper work, not to mention a handful of rumours that need to be put to bed" the ghoul flips through the papers "it says here the y/n you are Lawrence's spouse, is that true?"

You nod

"You see y/n, Lawrence here cant be trusted at face value, so that is why I must converse with you on the matter, so you are his fiance correct?"

"Yes"

"I see, now how long have the two of you known each other?"

"About a year or so" you shrug

"Mmmhmm" the ghoul scribbles down something and continues "now when did he propose to you?"

"Last week" this was so anxiety inducing, for a man with no eyeballs it sure felt like he was staring into your soul.

"Now what drawn you to such a, oh how do I put this, such a man?"

You hear beetlejuice huff out as if he was insulted.

"Well, beetlejuice may be rough around the edges, and can be a dick at times, but he's great company, hes funny, witty, has great taste in movies, and he makes me smile, hes also, well, he's also good looking too" you look away from both parties, as you were clearly embarrassed over what you said, it was the truth, but it still made your face burn.

Beetlejuice leans forward, looking in your direction, eyes wide and mouth a gape, his hair now a bright pink.

"Mr Shoggoth, you look surprised at y/n's words" the ghoul grabs Beetlejuice's attention.

"Heh, you see y/n is the shy type, hearing that type a thing is rare and ALWAYS gets my attention". Beetlejuice slicks his hair back removing the pink and resetting it to its default green.

"Mmmmhmmm" was the ghoul's only response as attention was drawn back to you.

"So y/n you truly are betrothed to Lawrance, you want to be wed to him on purpose?" The skeleton's tone was almost surprised, as if beetlejuice was the most revolting creature in existence and you wanting, out of your own free will to be bound to such a thing, was the most insane thing he has ever herd.

You nod, beetlejuice gives the skeleton a smug toothy grin.

"This isnt a joke, nor is he blackmailing or threatening you?" His tone sounded desperate, as if he needed to prove beetlejuice was lying for his own good.

You only shake your head, while beetlejuice surpresses a laugh

"Ya see bone head? I'm innocent~" he chuckles, squeezing you close to his side.

"Y/n you are aware of what you're doing for Lawrence correct?" The skeleton sounded almost smug, you only stare back, waiting for him to elaborate.

"You see y/n, you are doing Lawrence here a huge favor, when the dead marry the living, they are able to walk the earth like you do, you are granting him life, something he has never had, this is why we must confirm with you, that you understand what he's doing" the skeleton gestures to beetlejuice, the demon only rolls his eyes in response.

"I know"

Attention is drawn to you

"I know all about that life giving thing, beetlejuice told me about it"

"Well you see y/n, this isnt the first time Lawrence has-"

"I know, I was told, by him and the person he tried to marry the first time, small world huh"

The skeleton pauses for a moment then coughs into his fist, as if to regain his composure after being surprised, he continues "I see, Lawrence has been honest with you, I didnt think he had it in him"

Beetlejuice snarls at the comment, tips of his hair turning red.

"Just a few more loose ends y/n then you can return to your rest" the skeleton flips through his papers "ah, Lawrence, y/n may have been couched, and since you seem so eager to speak, I do have a few things I need to clarify with you, if the two of you are in love as you say and this isnt a farce, you would know plenty about your future spouse, when was y/n born?" The skeleton snears as if hes caught you two red handed

Beetlejuice snorts out a laugh "easy *birthday day and year* hell I woke them up with some early morning birthday head"

You cover your face in embarrassment at that comment, yet you were surprised he knew the year.

"Correct, and might I saw congratulations on a LEGAL partner this time"

Beetlejuice rolls his eyes at the low blow before grumbling "it was a green card thing"

The skeleton ignores Beetlejuice's comment and continues "what drew you to this breather? And please keep it out of the gutter"

Beetlejuice huffs "spoil sport, y/n here is one of the kindest, sweetest, softest breather I ever met, they let me do whatever I want, they want me around, no stings attached, they got great taste, just look at the company they keep, and let me tell ya, the first time we met they sucker punched me in the jaw for scaring them, and I've been dreaming of that swing ever since"

You just stare at the ghoul, he remembered that? He remembered how he first met you? When lydia locked you in the basement and he jumped out at you, successfully scaring you but earning himself a fist in the jaw, wow. Your face felt hot remembering that, what a frist impression.

The night droned on and on with dull questions the suit had lined up to prove beetlejuice was lying, but every question had an appropriate answer, and the skeleton knew he could not prove anything as the night went on.

Low on patience and time he decided call it quits.

The skeleton pushes his clipboard back into his jacket and sighs "I appreciate your time y/n, thank you for your cooperation, and Lawrence, I look forward form your departure of death, a short vacation from you is the pick me up I deserve" the skeleton raises up from your chair and walks over to a wall on the other side of the room, you watch him draw a door, and knock 3 times, you're livingroom wall opens up to the netherworld. You freeze at the sight, you always felt uneasy seeing the netherworld portal open up, maybe it was a living thing? As if beetlejuice felt your discomfort he pulls you into a side hug, grounding your anxiety, you give a sigh of what feels like relief.

The skeletontirns to face the two of you "Before my departure, y/n I do have one final thing to ask you, can you kiss Lawrence for me?"

"What?" You gawk in confusion

Beetlejuice snorts out a laugh "what? You the type of guy who gets off on watching others get hot and heavy, I mean I feel ya, but if you insist, I can help a guy out" beetlejuice is quick to cup your face "give daddy some sugar~" he purrs puckering up to go in for the kiss.

"Lawrence you misunderstand me, I ask y/n, if you two are truly betrothed, shy or not, y/n shouldnt have any issues kissing their lover" the skeleton gestures to you, without eyeballs or eyebrows he sure wore a smug face, as if he found you two out.

Beej snorts out his nose, great, he's fucked, theres no way you could sell this now, the ghoul had to take the lead and try to steer this away from what this bureaucrat wants "Shy or not, my little sex pot here isnt too keen on others watching, believe me, I tired, the only thing they wont do in the bedroom-"

"Bee, it's fine" you interject, gently grabbing the demons sleeve, he looks at you mouth agape, green slowly blossoming into pink in his face and hair.

"You mind leaning down honey?" You ask softly, trying to ignore the butterflies in your stomach, yes beetlejuice has kissed you more times then you could remember, and yes, youd be lying if you didnt enjoy them, but taking the lead? That was new, and to have someone watching? Not to mention if you dont make this look good he's gonna take beetlejuice away.

Beetlejuice on the other was practically glowing pink, and vibrating with excitment, not to mention drooling.

You gently cup the demons face, running your thumbs across his stubble, you swore you could hear the demon purring, you take a deep breath through your nose before closing the gap between the two of you.

Beetlejuice's hands find homes for themselves, on in your hair, the other on the center of your back. Your hands move from the demon's face and bury themselves in his messy hair, gently giving his head a scratch, you squeak with surprise as the ghoul lifts you up from the ground, instinct kicks in nd you wrap you legs around his waist, lips still locked with his, you feel his tongue probing at you mouth, begging for your permission to enter, you oblige, his tongue wasnt new to you, you felt it a handful of times, running up the side of your face when the ghoul was trying to get your attention mostly, but in your mouth?

It was long, and big, and kind of cold, it easily took the lead, exploring your mouth.

You push on Beetlejuice's chest to notify him you needed to breath, the two of pull your lips part from each others, a thin line of saliva still connecting the two of you.

"Oh Lawrence" you sigh

The demon now completely electric pink, still holding you up growls before asking "couch?"

You hum out "yes"

Before the ghoul flops backwards on the couch, having you sit on top of him, you give his tie a quick yank and he groans in response.

"Oh doll, you're lucky you dont work tomorrow, cuz I want you to ride me all night~"

"Ahem!"

The two of you freeze for a moment, beetlejuice snickers at your face, clearly embarrassed, you pause for a moment, swallowing your shame before addressing the ghoul who was still here

"You're still here?" Was all you manged to breath out

"I mean I'm into it, but y/n? Not so much, and they clearly arent into you watching so" beetlejuice snorts, trying to wave the skeleton off so the demon could relax.

"I see, y/n you clearly are attracted to him, and understand all the consequences of marrying the dead, I declare that Lawrence B Shoggoth was, in fact, telling the truth, this should be a holiday, such a rare occasion" the skeleton trailed off as he walked into the netherworld, you only watched as he vanished and the walls of your little apartment rearranged themselves like it never happened.

You sat top beetlejuice for a moment, sighing over dodging the bullet of losing your, very dear friend, you may or may not be head over heels for.

You're reminded of where you were sitting  with a familiar pinch on your butt.

"Hey honey~" the ghoul purrs

You jerk up at recalling the situation you're in, beetlejuice groans at you movement

"Careful sweets, keep moving like that and you'll turn this semi into a boner" he snorts out a chuckle.

You're quick to get off the demon, though he did grunt in protest, before sitting back up and pulling a couch cushion over his lap, despite how crude he was, he did have SOME common courtesy.

As much fun as it would have been for the demon to tease you on your rather hot actions, he noticed how your attention wasnt on him, rather then you were staring at the wall that was once the door to the netherworld.

"So we did it?" Was all you seemed to whisper

"Yup, I got to hand it to you babes, you did quite a good job fooling that stiff"

You turn back to the demon and give him a soft smile feeling completely relieved.

"You know it's funny y/n, you're a terrible liar, and you sure as hell cant act, you got way too many tells, but yet, I didnt see a single twitch nor did I hear a single stutter, why's that?~" you knew that tone oh too well, it was the 'I know something embarrassing about you' tone, it was smug yet made your legs turn to jelly.

"I guess when it comes down to really important stuff i guess i can-" you stammer while fiddling with the hem of your shirt

"I dont think so dolly" beej was quick to interrupt "babes, you've been wearing my jacket the whole time, I've seen you keep glancing down at the ring, and fuck me, the amount of fire in that kiss, someone like you cant fake that" 

You refuse to look his way, this was one hell.of a way to come clean with your feelings, a heavy silence fills the room, though you're pretty sure beetlejuice could hear your heart pounding away.

As if the ghoul could sense your discomfort, he sighs "ya know babes, it's pretty late, and breathers need to sleep, so how bout you head back to bed and I'll finish grilling you in the morning"

Glancing back at beetlejuice you could see the flicks of purple appearing in the pink mess of his hair, you give the ghouls half hearted smile, as you go to take off the jacket he raising his hand motioning you to stop

"Its gonna be cold tonight babes, how bout you keep it warm for me?"

"Oh, alright, night Bee, glad I could help you" you wave off as you head to your bedroom to over think what just happened.

Beetlejuice groans when he hears the familiar sound of your bedroom door closing, he was so close to getting a real confession out of you, but tomorrow morning is gonna be pretty dangerous for you,  he sighs removing the pillow from his lap, he had a more pressing matter to attend too, and with your taste on his tongue and the beautiful imagine of you on top of him yanking at his tie, this 'problem' wont take long to deal with.

Bonus

The next morning was quite awkward, beetlejuice wasnt kidding about grilling you in the morning, but at least what felt like an interrogation last night, now felt like childish teasing

"Bee, can I ask you something about last night?"

The ghoul beams with excitement at your question "anything you want babes"

"If we would have failed, what would have happened to you, you said you would have been dragged back to the netherworld and" you pause hoping the ghoul would fill in

"Oh, yeah, if we would have got caught I would have had to spend a week in the netherworld with my mother fixing this paperwork and just being chewed out, a nightmare babes, we dodged a bullet" he raises his hand for a high five as if to congratulate you on helping him out

"What, I'm sorry what"

Beetlejuice lowers his hand and frowns at your response

"Beetlejuice I was worried sick, I thought they were gonna take you away forever, i was terrified if i fuck up I'd never see you again, like what am i supposed to do without you?! I dont want you to leave me" you practically screamed

Beetlejuice only started at you, slowly soaking in what you said

'I dont want you to leave me'

His blank stare slowly shifts to a smile, flicks of pink appearing in his hair "dont worry sugar, you're stuck with me"

[mushtoons]

Ghost story 👀? Would you be interested in sharing 👀👀?

okay so!! i got one that happened during the ghosting hours!! that i remember right off the bat that is,,

one legit haunts me, now for the record ik i already look like some nut, but i swear on my life im not fucking around, so this happened a little almost a year ago, i had just got off work and my friend and my brother picked me up, we drove around went to a few gas stations we were having a good time! we all were off that weekend and wanted to hang out so we werent in a rush to get home, well we're on the highway, almost to the exit to get to my house, we're jamming to music singing off key, stupid shit, to clarify none of us were drunk or anything we're just naturally stupid, but as we're going it starts to get really foggy but we ignore it until its almost time to turn for my exit (again i swear its gonna sound like im fucking crazy or making this shit up) but in the distance we can see something tall, like tree size tall, and for a split second i thought it was that a tree, but then a car going the opposite way on the other side of the highway passes and i can feel the moment everyone in the car saw it, it was like dhjdjdjd how tf do i explain this it was like a huge lanky black silhouette in the fog, and all the light did was show its hand as it swung by its side walking across the highway, ik i wasnt seeing shit because my brother and my friend started screaming a split second before i did and we watched as it crossed and didnt pay it a second glance as she floored it and we booked it to my house, again we were almost qt my exit so it took like 3 mins to get to my house with the fact we stopped at no stop sign and were going like 50 in a 30, at this point we're all crying and shaking and we fight each other to get into the house (yes we love each other but fuck that shit fight or flight was going strong) and we all start talking at once and i, the big strong manly man i am, wanted my mom so i pull out my phone to call her but i see im on call with 911 (ik i couldnt have butt dialed because i keep my screen facing out in my pocket becaude of that exact reason) and the lady is trying to calm us down saying she heard screaming and i was lied saying "oh no we just almost hit a deer" and hung up and now we're freaking out over that too cuz wtf wtf wtf why was 911 on the phone?? i call my mom she tries to calm us down but i say fuck this that was too close to my house im going to yalls so we packup my an overnight bag, and speed off to their house which is luckily the opposite way the thing went, as we drive we get to her city and see that every. fucking. light. was off like in this whole ass city maybe a handfull were on and there wasnt any cars out, so as our paranoid asses make it to their house we curl up together on a pallet in the floor and that was the end of that, we still talk about it and ive moved from that house because if scary movies thought me anything is that we aint gonna fuck around and find out

[muwur]

snapchat headcanons

✧ hc’s ✧ for using snapchat w ur boi toi ft. the pretty setter squad

❧ gn reader

✎ 3.1k words

a/n: kinda a combo of how they use sc and the kinds of snaps they send you! along w wat u send them, and uh... dating stuf n shenanigans? texting/snapping habits? my fantasies? IDEK ANYMORE EOFHEFJ

this was born from the recesses of my mind , which desired nothing mor than snapchats from suga , us sending cute selfies , others bein dumb n chaotic , no context videos , n him snapping me photos of some mangoes on sale he said he’ll buy for me DXX it’s too late for me now

doing research on hq bois and surfing thru sc features (im just now realizing theres quite a bit?? im hoping i address most of them at some point lolol) instead of real life tings aHHhhhHAHA

requests: open! will be working on a suga one i got, dw, requester!

sugawara

✧ sends good morning and good night snaps

✧ so he’s rlly good at keeping streaks, probs has the longest ones (one of them being y’alls streak)

✧ posts tidbits of volleyball practice on his story every once in a while

✧ snaps you pics of his sleeping teammates when they’re coming back to school after a long day of matches , adding a single ‘❤️’ as a caption

✧ he will also create colorful masterpieces on all of them

✧ gives daichi a santa beard, tanaka a squiggly stache (i imagine it to look like spongebob n patrick’s seaweed ones now that were mEN), n kageyama sum angry brows,,, wait he already has them lolol u good der kags

✧ posts a picture of you when you’re hanging out, captioning it: “🥰“

✧ has conversations with you purely via snaps

✧ ranges from casual chats and checking up on u to crackwhoring ( ** indicates the photo, while the “” quotes indicate the caption, all snaps are italicized, otherwise its regular dialogue)

✧ suga: *peace sign* “hey sweetheart, how r u?”

✧ you: *pics of homework* “ahh, drowning in school ;-; i cant wait for this week to be over fghjkl”

✧ suga: *close up with :o on his face* “let’s study together tmrw!”

✧ or

✧ suga: *complete darkness* “its 3 am n i cant sleep”

✧ you: *the top half of your head, laying on a pillow* “ ;( aw babe. do u want me to send something to help u sleep?”

✧ suga: *still in darkness* “y u still up?? go sleep. n 🥺 yes pls”

✧ you: *snaps pics of feet* “that’ll be 50 bucks, pay up” 

✧ suga: *darkness remains* “can we make a trade instead? i promise to make it worth ;)”

✧ ok now u BOTH cant sleep (im sry my crackheading be acting up around 2am eeryday, i stan a mischievous suga--)

✧ video chats (in the darkness lol) instead until you both pass out (im not in luv u r 😭)

✧ super down to take filtered selfies w you

✧ does all the silly ones with you (things like ’angry face’ or the frog one)

✧ but also rlly digs lookin cute with you using some heart crowns, y’all an aesthetic (n crakhead) duo fosho

✧ def subscribes to life hacks and tries them out himself, has a 50% success rate

kageyama

✧ doesn’t rlly use snapchat too much

✧ but when he does

✧ will either send you a picture to indicate he’s at volleyball practice (wow wat a sexi lookin gym floor)

✧ or some random picture of whatever he’s doing at the moment (*drinking milk*)

✧ this is mostly in order to save streaks

✧ he’s so bad at streaks

✧ “why does it matter?? what’s the point of sending just black screens or whatever’s in front of you at the moment??”

✧ can’t keep a consistent streak for more than 3 days and also doesn’t care (until hinata challenges him to see who can have the longer one)

✧ when you send him videos of him playing, he really focuses on them to try to improve his technique. asks you to send those vids to him (assuming u saved them, which u did)

✧ but when you look over his shoulder when he’s watching a video and give him some compliment (“i recorded at the perfect moment! that was a really good set, kageyama!”), he gets a bit flustered

✧ gets even more flustered but pretty happy whenever you post videos on your story showing karasuno winning some points with captions like:

✧ “footage of the legendary quick >.>” or “karasuno crows flyin high!” or “these bois make my heart 😭 im so proud”

✧ you WILL catch him off guard in photos, using filters that surrounds his head w/ emojis like 🥺💖🥰💘

✧ you also put these on your story (to his dismay)

✧ ppl comment on these mor than anything else (n for those who dont rlly kno kageyama, theyre kinda surprised to him like this)

✧ hinata snickers “hey kageyama you look pretty good here--”

✧ takes some selfies with you, mostly cuz you want them

✧ saves them after u send them over (n secretly cherishes them)

✧ occasionally watches his subscriptions, they’ll usually involve sports, mostly volleyball (who woulda guessed)

✧ you use his bitmoji to test out random facial expressions you would never see him wear

✧ you: “can you smile and wink like this? act like you’re the obnoxious charming guy in a shojo.”

✧ will actually attempt, but it looks so bad that you die inside and he never wants to try again cuz of ur laughing outburst (you: “😭😭 bb im sorry i couldnt help it”)

oikawa

✧ literally sends you anything and everything

✧ morning bathroom selfie to show off how good his hair came out that day, saying:

✧ “he has risen”

✧ or “i woke up like this”

✧ and my favorite, “you’re lucky you get this content for frEE”

✧ selfies with iwa, who just looks annoyed and exasperated at the camera

✧ sends you pics of his lunch and snacks (“bet u wish u had milk bread too”)

✧ always packs extra milk bread so he could convince you to stay at his practice after school--

✧ FILTERSS

✧ I CANNOT STRESS THIS ENUF

✧ will either use the filters that make him kayooottt (cute)

✧ loves the ones named ‘hearts,’ ‘soft,’ ‘peach,’ ‘butterfly cheeks,’ vsco filters LOL, etc

✧ uses ‘big mouth’ when he feelin a bit sASSY; also loves to use this one when he rants, it channels his inner valley girl

✧ sometimes he’ll be snacking or drinking something while he does so (“hey guys today im gonna eat these milk buns from my favorite bakery and this bomb orange juice and complain about this little kid who talked smack to me earlier and almost made me cry--”)

✧ takes cute selfies with you, is an aesthetic selfie king, puts them on his story to show off he’s hangin with you

✧ but on your story you only post the ones he looks bad in LOL

✧ has separate stories for his every need, some r private (and lucky you, ur included in all of them)

✧ titles them ‘mean things iwa said to me today,’ ‘ranting hotbox + mukbangs,’ ‘a day in the life of oikawa,’ ‘volleyball 🏐,’ ‘unpopular opinions,’ etc. 

✧ fitting room photoshoots lol

✧ “y/n, what do you think of this??” “and this?” “oOH WHAT ABOUT THIS??”

✧ ends up calling you through video chat so you can live critique his choices

✧ “oikawa, please no, i can’t be seen with you in public if you wear those--”

✧ also changes his bitmoji’s outfits from time to time, hopes you’ll notice, but you don’t LOL (oikawa: ;((((((( )

kenma

✧ uses sc usually just to reply to messages ppl send him

✧ indifferent about streaks, but keeps a few with ppl he’s closer to

✧ mindlessly plays the snapchat games with you, finds some of them kinda cute

✧ you both made his bitmoji for him, dressing his up in the orange cat suit

✧ you also helped make kuroo’s and put his in the black cat suit to match--

✧ snaps you every time he gets a new game, starts playing it, and once he finishes

✧ started to post some gameplays and reviews on his sc story (might as well add them to sc since he was already on other social platforms), and ended up amassing a large following

✧ follows the tech and gaming stories on sc

✧ as well as the ones with cute animals--

✧ open to selfies with you, usually wears a calm expression and holds up a peace sign

✧ even occasionally sticks his tongue out

✧ his story is occasionally heavily bombarded with candids of him w/ pretty sc filters, all taken by you

✧ but of all the filters, you love using the clout glasses on him

✧ especially when he’s just minding his own business

✧ “kenma, in his tru habitat” when hes cocooned in a blanket

✧ “kenma, on his way to steal yo manz” while on his way to the bathroom

✧ “kenma, next iron chef. watch out gordon” as he’s cooking instant ramen

✧ “kenma” n das it

✧ but he thinks it meme-y so he lets you do whatever you want, kinda digs it

✧ you end up dedicating your snap story to memes of kenma and the nekoma volleyball team. ppl are in it for the shits n giggles n hot bois

✧ you later discover someone else did the same thing with their volleyball team filled with hot bois from shiratorizawa, and you befriend tendou and share funni internet tings

akaashi

✧ 99% of his photos include either you or bokuto or both

✧ bokuto spams akaashi’s story and contact list with selfies and videos of himself using weird filters, often gets you to join him

✧ has several streaks, but will send something with more substance than a black screen or his bedroom window

✧ will usually involve smthng that just happened to him or smthing he saw, like:

✧ “a kind older lady offered me some apples in return for helping her”

-or:

✧ “how do i break the news to bokuto that the yaikniku place he’s been wanting to go to for the past week ,,, is closed today”

✧ o n let’s not leave out:

✧ “is it possible to conjure a ghost using a wooden spatula, ketchup, and a chalk drawn hexagram? bokuto’s been paranoid ever since he tried last night and i dont know what to tell him. seriously, help”

✧ looks through stories occasionally, comments whenever bokuto makes questionable decisions

✧ also comments on whatever you’ve posted. his words range from “you’re cute” to “why,” depending on the content

✧ ppl know when y’all are hanging out cuz he’ll post smthing to indicate he’s with you, usually it’s some candid and you’re not paying attention

✧ appreciation posts for you as well! esp if you got him something, like onigiri or his fav, Nanohana no Karashiae , for lunch! (akaashi: *snaps a pic of his food* “thank you y/n for feeding me”)

✧ prefers video calling over texting/snapping whenever possible tho

✧ occasionally reminisces thru his sc memories

✧ enjoys the flashback feature and will send them to you and bokuto (cuz they’re about y’all anyway lolol)

✧ also has secretly saved a bunch of selfies of himself, consists of him trying out a lot of the filters (he feelin himself)

✧ you, one day, looking thru his phone and discovering them: “akaashi, you’re so pretty wtf”

✧ akaashi: “...”

koganegawa

✧ sends you selfies of him before practice

✧ during breaks

✧ and after practice, usually makes a comment about how it went for him that day like:

✧  “i hit a decent toss today and futakuchi actually complimented me!”

✧ that, or:

✧ “i got yelled at 17 times today 😢��”

✧ has quite a few streaks, his longest ones being with you and hinata

✧ def uses filters

✧ tries out every funny one he finds and sends you videos

✧ “look y/n im an aaaaAALlliiEEENnnNNN oo oo hoo hhhooOOh”

✧ “now im a chicky nuggy!!” (chicken nugget)

✧ also enjoys the doodle feature

✧ but he uses the filter with the clout glasses unironically--

✧ usually when smth good happens to him and he feels happy and/or cool about it

✧ “just beat the boss in this game on my 69th try B)”

✧ “kogane, that’s--”

✧ plays sc games with you and thinks bitmojis r cool

✧ kinda sad he cant find a hair option that matches him tho lolol rip

✧ you: “you hair’s just,,, unique,,,”

✧ subscribed to anything sports and fitness, as well as pop culture so he can stay in the loop

✧ also watches everyone else’s stories, pointing out whenever he sees smthing cool and/or interesting

✧ “woahh, karasuno’s at nationals right now! i wish we could’ve won, but next year for sure!!”

✧ you encourage him at all his games, hyping him up irl and online

✧ “koganegawa: best setter 😍!!”

✧ luckily you didnt record the parts he completely messed up LOL

semi

✧ before going out with you, snaps you a pic of his casual outfit like:

✧ semi: “does this look ok”

✧ you: “babe you look great, tendou was just messing with you”

✧ will make unwanted appearances on tendou’s snap and complains to you about them

✧ “i didnt consent to being part of his meme page” and

✧ “okay, but he didn’t only have to share all the moments i messed up--”

✧ also indifferent about streaks but will do them

✧ sometimes sends snaps/streaks indicating he’s practicing his music

✧ when you see these you usually ask him to send you vids or if you can come over n watch

✧ initially is a bit shy about it but he loves what he does and you and knows you’re genuinely interested and supportive so he agrees

✧ secretly rlly enjoys having you as his personal audience

✧ lowkey into asmr, like the soap cutting shit as well as chewing crunchy things

✧ also watches food porn and clips of mukbangs, then can’t resist going on youtube and watching the whole thing

✧  “y/n, can we try this, it looks so good--”

✧ will also often watch oikawa’s stories, especially his ‘ranting hotbox + mukbangs,’ and makes comments about him being an idiot

✧  “this kid he’s talking about is a savage”

✧ but admits they’re quite entertaining

✧ just looks serious in all the selfies you take with him

✧ you: “can you look like you’re enjoying yourself?”

✧ semi: “i look cooler like this tho”

✧ sc memories filled with shenanigans from you and the volleyball team, doodles, and mirror selfies with him experimenting diff looks (you: “tendou, you got him way too concerned about this”)

✧ also enjoys showing off he’s with you, taking a short video of you when you hang out

✧ you: “semi, i look bad right now”

✧ semi: “but you can never look bad”

✧ you: “🥺 bb”

✧ viewers: “aw”

✧ shiratorizawa: “can he be this nice with us LOL”

shirabu

✧ his main mode of communication with you is mostly through the regular messaging app, so he doesn’t use sc too much

✧ also doesn’t care for streaks and is bad at keeping them

✧ will answer to you or his senpais rather soon tho

✧ but lets all his other notifications pile up a bit before finally going thru them

✧ goes through the snaps he receives really fast, spending like 2 seconds each to look at them cuz aint nobody got time for dat

✧ doesn’t even rlly open goshiki’s LOL

✧ you have fun using filters on him and taking videos while he’s just doing his own thing peacefully like studying

✧ it takes him a second to notice and when he finally looks up, he just gives you an exasperated look

✧ cue you cracking up with laughter bc the filter finally shows up on his face

✧ his eyes and mouth are now on mike wazowski

✧ that, or his face becomes so disturbingly moRPhed like an alien

✧ caption: “ken-chan, my future medical man 😍”

✧ “y/n, please, this is like the 7th time in the last 20 minutes--”

✧ finally convinced him to take a study break and hang out with you

✧ which usually consists of snacking and light banter while you lay your head on his lap

✧ and scrolling through snapchat stories and showing him what everyone else is up to and cool things you’re subscribed to

✧ “loooook, dr. miami’s doing another butt job! is this the line of work you’re studying so hard for?”

✧ “no, it’s really not”

✧ is actually very soft with you and likes having the photos and vids for memories

atsumu

✧ sends you snaps where his brother looks bad, captioning it:

✧ “this is evidence that im the hotter twin”

✧ likewise, osamu sends you snaps where atsumu looks even worse

✧ like, the mans passed out, looking rekt and open mouthed, drool seeping into his pillow

✧ osamu: “u still have time to break up with him”

✧ also lucky for you, atsumu also loves to take unflattering photos of you and send them to you randomly at like 2 am

✧ you: “nani tf when did you even take this??”

✧ usually posts a snap while he’s out somewhere like at a match, the gym, outside on a run, a party, or just hanging out with you or his frens

✧ however, makes sure you look good if you show up on his story cuz he wants to show you off

✧ doesn’t really care for streaks, but has a lott

✧ but also has a tON of unopened snaps

✧ is the type to send just a black screen n call it a day, or maybe spice it up by sending a pic of the sexi gym floor (a comeback) w his shoe in the corner

✧ will, however, consistently respond to you and kinda looks forward to ur snaps (secretly hopes you show ur face)

✧ but when you dont:

*in class*

✧ atsumu: *a smirk on his face* “your content’s kinda dry today” 

✧ you: *your sexi desk* “my nudez ain’t free, i demand compensation”

✧ atsumu: *grasped his chin in thought, but angled the cam up bc he needa hide his phone in class lolol* “what if i... take you out on a romantic excursion”

✧ you: * your face but with ‘sausage’ filter* “🥵🥵🥵🥵 yessir, what u want”

✧ rlly only wants to have pics of your face wat a closeted sOFTIE

✧ likes to have content on his flashbacks

✧ usually has other social media sources to keep up to date with things

✧ actually rlly digs using sc filters, mostly ones that’ll make him look like a queen

✧ captions a selfie of you two like: “me >>>>>>> y/n”

✧ but nearly everyone who comments on it is like: “i think you flipped the sign, bro 🤥”

✧ judges ppl who are into soap cutting asmr (you will never hear the end of it if you also like it)

a/n: sc kinda dying for me, my use went from suga to an atsumu to like nearly nonexistent LOL

also o gawd i already have ideas here n there for a pt 2 so stay tuned fjxnwfesd hope it takes me less long cuz this one took me fkin foreva LOL

idk y i made semi like mukbangs but i feel like he’d be rlly into them--

[jonahlovescoffee]

Night Changes | J.M.

a/n this fanfic is inspired by one direction’s hit song with the same title. u can also listen to jonah’s cover of the same song here.This is the first complete fanfic I’ve ever written in my entire pathetic life and it has been rotting away in my files app for a while now lol u can see how insecure i was (and am) to put this out here but here it is anyways :’) any constructive criticism is appreciated <3 happy reading!!

summary: the death of his friend’s girlfriend made Jonah realize that nothing in life is permanent, including you.

warnings: mentions of death

word count: 2136

“We're only getting older, baby; And I've been thinking about it lately; Does it ever drive you crazy; Just how fast the night changes?”

It was yet another ordinary weekend night where Jonah and his band were gathered in the little studio of Daniel’s home, busy composing new music for their upcoming album without a care in the world when Corbyn’s phone rang all of a sudden.

Corbyn’s eyebrows raised in surprise when he saw the caller ID on the screen before sliding the answer button to the right and excusing himself from the small room to take the call. No one thought much about it and proceeded with their songwriting process. However, when half an hour passed with Corbyn’s absence, that was when Jonah’s gut feeling told him that something wasn’t right. He brushed that thought off as quick as it entered his mind, trying his best to ignore the fact that he caught a glimpse of the caller ID and it was his girlfriend’s mother calling him, which was undeniably weird. As his roommate and best friend, Jonah could confirm that she had never called Corbyn unless there was an emergency. Heck, the last time she called him was when her car broke down somewhere in downtown LA and Corbyn was the only one she knew who lived close enough to pick her up.

His suspicion was soon proven right when Corbyn barged into the room seconds later with tears running down his cheeks nonstop like a river. Daniel, who was seated the closest to the door jumped up in shock just as Corbyn fell into his arms and started sobbing. The other boys made their ways to them as Daniel patted Corbyn’s back in attempt to calm him down.

“What’s wrong?” Zach asked curiously and Jack elbowed him on the arm. “Ow, what was that for?” Zach exclaimed, earning a glare from the other male that clearly said, “Can’t you wait until he stops crying to pry for answers?”

“She killed herself,” Corbyn managed to say between sobs.

“Who?” Daniel asked softly.

“My girlfriend,” the 4 boys’ breaths hitched in utter shock. None of them were expecting this news in forever. Madeline was the most cheerful and optimistic girl Jonah had ever met. She brought sunlight and joy into every room she entered. Were those traits of hers merely a mask to hide all the despair and anxiety underneath? It didn’t make any sense whatsoever.

“My sweetheart killed herself,” Corbyn repeated, mostly to himself with a hint of disbelief in his tone. It was evident that he was still having a hard time letting the fact sink in. “We just went out for dinner last night and now she’s gone. Forever. She didn’t even say goodbye. What should I do? How can I live without her?”

“She should’ve said something. I could’ve done so much to help her instead of letting her die just like that. I saw the scars on her hand last night but I assumed it was nothing serious. It’s my fault. I could’ve stepped in and save her but I didn’t. Why? Why?!” Corbyn screamed and tugged at his hair frustratedly.

Silence ensued, the only sound being Corbyn’s uncontrollable sobs. No one said anything because they knew that no words were powerful enough to comfort him for the time being. The most they could do was be there for him.

#

Jonah pulled up in your driveway in the middle of the night. He left his house right away after ensuring that Corbyn was sound asleep in his room in fear of his best friend trying anything stupid under the influence of tremendous grief. He knew that you were probably asleep at this hour and he should’ve waited until the morning to pay you a visit but he couldn’t wait any longer. Madeline’s death had made him realise that nothing in life lasts forever and he wanted—no, needed—to be by your side tonight to make up for the past few days of neglecting you because of work.

After some debating in his head whether to wake you up from your deep slumber like an ignorant boyfriend or just turn around and go home, he turned off the engine and rushed out of his car and onto your doorstep before he could change his mind. He used the same key you gave him months ago to unlock the front door and was then greeted by a silent pitch black, empty living room. He locked the door with a soft click behind him before tiptoeing up the stairs and entering your room. He made sure to keep his movements as silent as possible as he knew better than anyone that you were a terribly light sleeper and could be awoken easily by the softest sounds. He took off his shoes and joined you on the king-sized bed, wrapping his arms around your sleeping figure gently to pull you closer to him. He contentedly nuzzled your hair, inhaling the sweet scent of your shampoo that smelled like cherry blossoms and spring air. It was only then he felt truly at ease, with you perfectly safe and sound in his arms.

As he half expected, you stirred from your sleep, wiggling your body slightly before turning towards him, your arms habitually made their way around his neck even in your half-awake state. You couldnt help but smile when you felt him tightening his arms around you like he was holding onto you for dear life. “Hey, love,” you mumbled groggily, staring up at him with droopy eyelids in your pyjamas that had bunny patterns all over them that you were more than embarrassed to be seen in by anyone but you could care less since Jonah had been your boyfriend long enough to know about your preference for childish pyjamas over mature flimsy nightgowns. “What brings you here?”

“Just wanna see you,” he replied with a smile. He tucked a loose strand of hair behind your ear and took a moment to drink in your beauty—the crinkle by your eyes when you smile, you supple lips and the freckles on your cheeks that were illuminated by the soft moonlight that shone through the windows—all ordinary features of yours that you had never been particularly fond of but were all made perfect in his eyes. He was lucky to have the chance of calling you his, but Madeline’s unexpected death that night made him wonder how long this could last? Without realising, he let his mind drift further into the sea of uncertainties of the future, getting more anxious by the second, especially when he was met with the thought of ever losing you one day.

“Jo, are you okay?” You asked worriedly when you noticed his tense expression. He offered you a meek smile in return. “Yeah, everything’s fine,” he replied, but his furrowed brows claimed otherwise.

“You’re not fooling anyone with that face, dear. What’s wrong?” You watched him stay silent for a while as if he was trying to come up with a suitable answer to your question.

”I just...can I stay over tonight with you?” He asked and you let out a hum in agreement, your hands rubbing soothing patterns down his back. Even after all this time, he still hadn’t managed to get rid of the old habit of asking for your permission to spend the night at your place although he knew that you would agree without hesitation every single time he did so. You wanted nothing more than to find out what was going on in his head at that moment but he didn’t look like he was in the mood to talk, so you pushed your questions aside for later.

Both of you stayed like that for who knew how long, unmoving, limbs tangled with each other’s as the cool night breeze wafted into the room through the opened windows. “Madeline died,” he said out of the blue, breaking the silence. Shock was an understatement to what you felt. You couldn’t believe your ears. You weren’t exactly best friends with Madeline but still close enough to hang out together occasionally when both of you were free from your hectic schedules, mainly because Jonah and her used to have a thing for each other back in high school before she got with Corbyn so there had always been a tinge of awkwardness between you two. Yet this news hit you hard all the same.

Tears welled up in your eyes before you knew it. “When?”

“Few hours ago,” Jonah answered, his hand stroking your hair with the utmost gentleness, which prompted your tears to resume falling. He let you cry it all out without a single complaint about your tears staining his shirt. “She took her own life.”

“Why?” You sniffled and he shook his head. “No one knows; I guess even the most optimistic person on earth has her invisible demons too,” he said with a sigh.

“Is that the reason why you came here tonight?” You wiped your tears away with the long sleeves of your shirt as you took several deep breaths to recompose yourself, bracing yourself for his answer. Old feelings die hard, that was what you always hear people said, especially your first love. Part of you were scared that Jonah still harboured feelings for her even after all this years and you were nothing but an emotional support rebound tonight.

“Yes and no. I came here after hearing about the news, yes, but I’m not here to mourn about her, for now,” he added the last two words hastily in case you get the wrong idea and thought that he was being rude. You were ashamed for feeling extremely relieved that his answer wasn’t what you expected. “I came here to make up for the past few days of absence and make sure that you’re alright. Have you ever, you know, done that?”

It took you few seconds to get what he meant. “Of course not, Jo. I promise you, I never tried self-harm before, and I never will,” you replied truthfully.

“Thank god,” he sighed with relief and planted a tender kiss on your forehead, “I don’t know what I’d do if you said yes.”

“You know that you’ll be the first one I talk to if I have anything bothering me, right?” You took his hand in yours while staring at him expectantly for an answer but none came. “Jonah, please don’t tell me that you seriously think that I’m someone who resorts to harming myself when the going gets tough?”

“I...I don’t know,” he admitted sheepishly which earned a sigh from you, a small smile tugging at your lips. You still couldn’t believe how this man in front of you—a confident rising boyband star—could get so worked up over a plain girl like you. He swallowed thickly before continuing, “Today made me question everything I know like how long this relationship can last—how long we’ll get to stay us until the world decides to tear us apart. We always said we’ll be together until the end of times but so did Corbyn and Madeline and look at them now. Madeline just....left without a word to anyone. I know it’s stupid but I just couldn’t bear the thought of losing you and now I’m being such a sap and you probably are disgusted —”

“Jonah, stop. You’re over-thinking everything. I’m not disgusted at you, not even one bit,” you raised a hand to his cheek and traced a thumb over it tenderly, knowing that this simple gesture never failed to soothe his raging emotions. “It’s normal to feel this way, love. But whenever you do, please remember this: there’s nothing to be afraid of because I love you so much, Jonah Marais Roth Frantzich, that I can never ever think of hurting myself because I know that that’ll hurt you; I love you so much that I started crying a little less, smiling a little more because I know that no matter how hard my day is, I’ll always have you to come home to.”

You watched as a tear escaped from him. “I don’t know what the future holds but I can promise you this,” you locked your eyes with his, your gaze filled with the utmost love and adoration in contrast with his worried one. “No matter how fast the night changes, it’ll never change me and you.”

“You promise?” His lips curled upwards into a small smile as he leaned in, leaving only an inch between your lips, your breaths mingling with each other’s. As always, butterflies erupted in your stomach at the close proximity as you mirrored his expression with a sweet smile of your own.

“Forever and always,” you breathed and he closed the distance between your lips, sealing the promise.

[erissthemean]

Boy o boy do I have an idea

So I was skimishing through miracoulus tags and by accident I found 2 amazing blogs. First one is brilliant @zoe-oneesama and second is angst master @lenoreofraven

And because of this two and because of an enormous amount of fanfics I got an idea for a Akumanette which could never work in the show but gave me a lot of fun to think about.

Sorry for my English, it's not my first language!

Part 2 Part 3 Part 4

***

So, everything happens just after Lila "exposed" Mari as a thief. Hawkmoth fails to akumatize the girl because Nathalie can't transform, she has attack so the Akuma doesn't even fly out.

Marinette is allowed to go back to class to gather her things. She goes, still fuming, still in a mood to attack someone. She slowly gets her things... But then Lila stabs her last one time.

... But it's not her who does it.

Mari just... Hears it. Silent murmur that slowly swims to her. Murmur of people who... believed Layla. Who started to blame Marinette. Who... Believed she did it. That she was able to do it.

And it hurt. It hurt because she couldn't! Because she thought that they knew that she couldn't. That she would never, ever hurt another person like that. Didn't she prove that she was a good person? Didn't she help others so many times? Wasn't she a person that everybody could trust, wasn't she a person that was giving everyone a helping hand? Why did they fall for Laylas lie? Why it was so easy to mistrust her now?

Before she knew, tears were dropping on her desk. Why? She didn't want to cry.

"She's playing the victim now..."

Who said that? She didn't know. She just heard it. And it hurt so much more because... It wasn't Lila. It wasn't Chloé. It was someone else, someone who she thought was her friend. It was too much. She grabbed her things and run out of classroom.

Alya tried to get up but what she could do? She just sat down again. Miss Bustlier called Marinette but girl didn't listen. It was Adrien who ran after her- and it was him who SAW.

He saw her running towards the stairs. He saw how her bag opened and spilled all of her things on floor. He saw how she trips and then falls. And falls. And falls... To the bottom of stairs.

"Marinette?"

She didn't answer.

"Marinette!"

She didn't move.

"Marinette!"

He ran to her... But it was too late. Rest of the class spilled out of the classroom and the air was pierced by few screams. Others tried to rush to the laying girl but they were used away. Someone called the ambulance.

It wasn't supposed to be like this.

***

She was in coma. Her parents cried so hard they couldn't even hear or understand doctors. Their daughter was laying on hospital bed, with millions tubes and screens around her. She was pale and layed yet so still. They couldn't believe it. How did this happen? Why?

Only Alya, Nino and Adrien came to visit blue haired girl in the hospital. They were talking about the school, what was happening, who got akumanitazed... And how Ladybug was nowhere to be seen. How Chat Noir was breaking the charm but no one could repair Paris and how no one could stop reakumanitazation. It was only a month and a half and everything was just... In chaos.

And Marinette layed there, pale, unresponsive.

One day she got one more visitor. It was Master Fu. He sat in the silence. After a while he started talking. Hours passed and he finally got to the part that was so hard to tell.

"Marinette... I have to take your miracoulus. Paris needs Ladybug and you can't make it. I'm sorry."

Tikki cried silently. She was watching her dear friend, forever loyal. But she knew she couldn't do much. Not alone. And... She couldn't do that, not again, not with the cost. She kissed girls cheek and then she faded, just as Master Fu took the earrings.

...

And it hurt.

Marinette screamed. Not that anyone could hear. She was screaming and trashing in her own body for over a month and no one noticed. She heard everything. She wanted to get out, to hug her parents, to let everyone know that she still was there! And yet, they talked like she was so far away. Like... Like she would never return.

But she had to. Even if her parents lost hope, she would break this damn Dream. This... Sleep. Even when her friends sounded so defeated she knew she would wake up. After all... She was Ladybug. She was the protector of Paris. She had to wake up.

But now... Even Master Fu and Tikki lost their hope. Even they didn't believe that she would make it.

Her determination quivered. And then all of her emotions swallowed her to the point where she couldnt breathe. Machines started to cheep and some doctors came in but she was still laying there. They gave her a mask so she could breathe but they couldn't do much more. So they left. Like everyone else.

Hawkmoth never felt such a rush of negative energy. It was big. It was... Deafening force that didn't seem to have a target.

Marinette was hurt. Because no one believed she would wake up. Because she wouldnt be in a coma if she didn't fall. Because she wouldn't fall if her friends believe her. She would be fine if not their mistrust... And if not for Lila. It was because all of them she couldn't wake up now. It was because all of them she couldn't be a Ladybug they so clearly needed.

They deserved every Akuma that was sent their way now. They got rid of her. They... did it to her.

And suddenly, the swirl of emotion found their target.

Hawkmoth hesitated for second. Could he do it? It was... More than ever. Could he play with so much?

"Fly my little Akuma and darken her heart!"

She would cry if she had the chance to make a sound. Her mom just finished brushing her hair. She brought two pretty ribbons and made two pigtails, just like her daughter always did. She wiped her tears away. She couldn't cry now. Not again.

"Bye bye Marinette. I have to go. Your dad and I will make cupcakes today. It's a bit harder since last villain broke our wall but we will still make it. I will leave some creme for you. Oh, and don't worry. I am cleaning your room. It is still just like you left it... Even the pins. They... " she choked a little sob "The pins are waiting for you to create more. I can't wait till you make me a new dress. Or apron. My apron has a hole in it but... I didn't sew. I'm wai-waiting for my little fashion queen. I can't to this as well as you. So... Yes. I-I have to go".

Sabine quickly ran out of the hospital room. She couldn't pretend. Not now when she just wanted to wail cause her little daughter looked so... fragile and broken. And she couldn't do anything about it.

Just then a little dark butterfly flew into the room. It rocked above blue hairs for a while and then it sat on the pretty ribbons.

"Hello Princess Justice. No... Hello Jinx. Your friends and family didn't believe you were a good person and now they don't believe you can come back. I can help you prove them wrong, to show them what you could really do if you were as horrible as they believed you were. In return, you will give me miracoulus of Ladybug and Chat Noir. "

The link was silent. But then, from the deepest parts of mind came response.

"Yes, Hawkmoth"

Purple mist swallowed unmoving girl. She was still binded to the hospital bed but it didn't stop her. After all, only her body was broken, her body was a trap. And... Now, she could escape.

So she did.

***

At first no one noticed. It was simple things, knocking things from tables, tripping when there was nothing to trip onto. Then it started to get worse. Objects falling from high, machines breaking while being used, endangering those around. Stairs becoming slippery. Brakes not working. Walls cracking.

It was Alya who noticed first. She saw a her in the corner of the eye. Pale and... When she turdes around, she couldn't see her anymore. But it must have been her. Right...?

It was getting worse. Everything that could go wrong, went that way. You would fall into the hole that wasn't there a minute ago, people were falling into the water, tripping, pushing, animals were snappier than usual and everyone somehow always managed to get hurt. It was bad... But it was only beginning.

Jinx made her first real appearance when first person died. She was hovering about the poor man with a little smile on her face. Man just got hit in the head with a flower pot and a little bit of concrete.

She looked like her old self. Almost. She was floating, half transparent, flickering here and there. Her ribbons were longer, swirling around her body like if they were alive. She had a black costume with white hearts on shoulders. The same hearts that worked as her new freckles. As she was looking at the dying man, new heart formed on her costume, this one the biggest of all.

She hummed.

"What a shame... You really had a bad luck, huh? But don't worry... Everyone in this city will have it as bad as you~!"

She looked at the horrified crowd and giggled. Such fun! Just then, two cars hit each other. There was a lot of smoke... Screaming... And she vanished, with five new hearts on the costume.

***

She stood in the spotlight. Every camera was looking at her. It was her moment.

"Greetings! I am Jinx, your little helper of the week!"

Yes, week... She was slow. But Hawkmoth listened to her plan and agreed to wait. She would success.

"You know what I can do by now"

She showed a footage of accidents. Cars smashed together. Construction that fell down and crushed a house nearby. Accidental fires. Death. Death death death.

She switched view to her face again.

"Some of you are afraid to leave your houses... Fear not! I can get you in there too~!"

She giggled. What a joy!

"But... I suppose I can ease my actions. All I ask is you give me my 'friends'. My old class who believed that I was someone horrible. Give me girl who calls herself Lila. Give me a chance to properly thank them for what they've done to me."

She gritted her teeth. Now is not the time. She relaxed a little.

"Oh... And Chat Noir? If you want to stop me. If you want to save Paris..."

Now. Now she had the attention. She had to do this.

She went to Master Fu before and discovered he didn't have her kwami anymore. He gave it to Chat, so the hero could choose himself a new partner. Bastard took some others miracoulus but not all of them. So she stole the rest. It was her job to take and give miracoulus, was it not? And now...

She looked straight into the camera.

"Give me your miracoulus. And give me MY MIRACOULUS BACK!"

And just like that, every screen shattered.

[kvmes]

Another Love TKO

I just read your text post about the dude you liked and it made me think of a situation that happened with me and this girl i had a huge crush on at my college.

I'm pretty sure it was fall semester 2017, i had walked to my building for class like i always did, i had my headphones in like always and was early to my class like always.

(quick side note) idk about you but im introverted, the reason i mention that is because me being as introverted as i am, im very observant.  I notice everything around me, i notice peoples faces, the clothes they wear, im just a very observant person. I dont talk that much, and i never walk around with my face in my phone like everyone seems to do these days, im always, always in deep thought, and deep observation.  

Anyways, i get to class hella early and i have my headphones in and im just chilling, when all of a sudden i see the most beautiful girl i have ever seen at my college, i mean, she was stunning. her hair was curly, and it was in a bun, her skin was golden and she had a bandana that was a mixture of red, black, and green. she had those gold and black suede pumas that was popular around that time.

Her arms were criss crossed across her chest and she was carrying her books. in the 5 seconds it took for her to pass me i picked up her whole vibe. she walked past me and didnt even know i existed. but i didnt give a shit, i was absolutely blown away by how gorgeous this girl was. when i say she was the most THE most beautiful girl i had ever seen at my college... i mean it. 

She walked past and it was like slow motion, i stopped my music and said to myself, "damn who is that"?! and that slow motion shit stopped and time was regular again, i was like "aigh i have to get to know her". so i literally looked at the time to make sure that every tuesday/ thursday i was at that exact spot just so i could get a glimpse of her. and sure enough every tuesday/ thursday i saw what i thought would be my future wife. 

But the thing is, here i am picturing all this lovey dovey shit like walking down the beach, me surprising her with flowers, me taking picture of her (im a photographer) all that gushy shit, and i know deep down im too shy to even approach her lol... one thing about men that most of us wont admit is that, when we see "the one" or that girl that makes time stop and makes you reevaluate life for a second.... we be gettin scared... or shit maybe its just me. but the fear of fuckin up can really stop you from doing somethin great. in this instance it was my fear that got the best of me. but when we men see that girl that you just know you have to have, we just dont know how to act idk why.

but idk im speaking for all dudes like i know, shit so maybe its me. anyways... i would see this girl basically every tuesday/ thursday and never speak.. i would always chicken out, because it would be hella people in the hallways, then on top of that she always looked like she didnt wanna be bothered, so i was like fuck lol im never gon get this girl. 

so i said fuck it. ima just wait till i see her on the campus walking and try and speak to her then. i figured shit if i talk to her when its only her, if i get rejected, only me and her will know lol... so idk what picture i had in my head but the shit was nothing close to what actually happened. i thought i would see her on campus... and i literally saw her like 3 times on campus, and she was either to far for me to get to her or going in a building i wasnt going into... its like she was a ghost. i started questioning did i even see her in the first place, or was i just so in need of real love that i made her up...

So i basically just gave up... and then one day at work i saw her again. at this point it had been like weeks since i last saw her on campus. i had dropped the class i had in the spot where i saw her in the first place, so i basically didnt see her at all. 

if im being honest the shit was like a movie, i had got on the elevator to go check the trash in one of the buildings like i had did every single day of that semester, and as soon as i got off i saw her walking in one of the entrances. that same rush of adrenaline came over me like it was my first time seeing her all over again. we looked at each other but walked past one another. she walked to the staircase entrance and was gone in 5 seconds again.

i had never had a girl make my heart beat like this before. i was in a daze. i was so nervous but i now knew that she lived in one of the dorms i worked in, which made me happy. so i planned on talking to her the next day. my confidence level shot up, i was ready to finally talk to this girl. 

the next day at work i tried to spend as much time as i could in her dorm, and of course... i didnt see her. I saw her the one time and that was it. 

It wouldnt be until the end of the next semester which was spring 2017 that i saw her again. i was working in the dorms. she was packing her stuff up to leave, and i said oh well no use now. so i was with my coworker and we were laughing and joking, and i said alright man ima go and make myself busy. 

no sooner do i leave him to go check on trash in the dorm "my future wife" lived in, i was cleaning something in the lobby, and through the blinds i saw my coworker talking to the girl of my dreams!! she was smiling and laughing and i saw them get in the elevator together... so i rushed over to that building and of course the elevators we busy. so i took the stairs down and went to the basement and i didnt see them... i rushed to catch the elevator back up and as i was getting off the elevator i heard her laugh and say "have a good day" and the door shut, and my coworker walked around the corner and said "oh shits whats up"! from the time i saw them talking in the first place to me getting up there when she was walking out the door, it was about 2-3 minutes. 

my heart was beating 1000 times a minute, my coworker came around the corner and saw me, i said "yo bro, who was that girl you were just with"? he said oh her, idk... i was like bro that girl is the girl of my universe lol... the next time you see her give her my number or just text me so i can talk to her... he said alright bro i got you.

And of course because life is life, i didnt see her until spring 2018. J. cole's KOD album had just came out a few weeks prior and i was blasting it in my headphones. i was in dream girl's dorm, and i saw her again... she was loading up her car and getting ready to leave... today was the day. i was goin to speak to her... and i know i said this shit 5 thousand times, but this time i had a feeling it would be my last chance.

i saw her a few times loading her car and was nervous. so i turned on one of my favorite cole songs... 03 adolescence. it gave me the confidence i needed. i saw her walking with her R.A and i knew that meant she was checking out and leaving for good, so i waited in the lobby because i knew she would have to walk through there to get to her car...

i was nervous as fuck, and even more because she had her R.A with her and if i got rejected he would see, but i said fuck it. she walked in and i said excuse me, she turned to me and her smile was beautiful, her voice was soft and kind of high pitched. "i said im sorry to bother you but you are beautiful to me and i have had a crush on you for a long time"

she started blushing, smiling and giggling. she said "oh my god do u? where have you see me at?" I said "eh you know, just around". i knew time was fading for me to ask for her number, so i said hey listen i have to get back to work and i know you have to leave, so how about i give you my number and you just text me. she said ok cool.. she pulled out her iphone. the screen was cracked, so i was extra careful to type my number in correctly. i handed it back to her and she said "cool i'll text you when later"

i said ok. on the outside i looked hella regular, but on the inside i was on the moon somewere... i walked into one of the other dorms and jumped up with excitement, i couldnt believe after all this time we had finally spoke. i finally got to talk to her. i was on fire. but then i quickly came back down to earth because the real test was waiting to see would she hit me up. 

I waited all day and all night, and came up with every excuse in the book. "maybe she just got tired from driving" lol... maybe she dropped her phone and it cracked and broke... maybe she accidently deleted the number. i came up with every excuse in the book. 

and after all that, she never texted me. and i have to say my feelings were hurt for a few days. i was more embarrassed than anything, because i put myself out there only to strike out. it was also the fact that i pictured us walking down the beach, all that lovey dovey shit i had thought about was basically never gonna happen. i had feelings for this girl, and she didnt even know the half. what hurt the most was that she never got to know how i really felt. i pictured her asking me "so how long have you liked me"? and i wouldve told her how i knew i liked her from the first time i laid eyes on her

how i knew exactly what she wore on the first day i saw her, how furiously my heart beat from just getting a glimpse of her. i wouldve told her that every time i saw her it was like the first time i saw her.... but it never happened sadly... and after that encounter it was truly the last time i had saw her. she either transferred,  moved off campus, or graduated. so i wrote this out because your story reminded me of this, but also just to say, we're all kind of awkward in our own little way, and i think that no matter how awkward we are and how odd we might be, theres someone out there waiting in the universe that will love us unconditionally. ( sorry this was so long) have a great night. 

[authorofdanger]

Please Want Me (Part 3 of Snowy Nights)

*Warnings: really rude people and kidnapping.

*Angst.

Female cat hybrid reader, BTS, TXT.

Today was the day, fan meet day! The breakroom was filled with excitement from both groups and I as we adjusted our outfits. Both groups were dressed drastically different as the elder group wore nice button ups and ripped black jeans to match while the youngers wore bright hoodies and neat and clean blue jeans. I was dressed to kind of blend with both with a cute pink blouse, a black shirt, some pink sneakers, my black collar, and a small pink bow tied to my tail. This fan meet was going to be different than most and was going to be more of a performance and question time for the fans. I was to go onstage for TXT's cat and dog, for obvious reasons, and for BTS' Home, then the questionnaire. One of the workers helped me into a mic set and explained that I was to stay either on stage or back stage at all times and to let the boys do the talking unless I was specifically asked a question. Simple enough for me.

The crowd was loud when the youngers went out first to perform Crown but when the tune of Cat and Dog came on and I leaped onto the stage and danced with the boys and added my voice into the chorus I could have sworn my ears were bleeding from the cheers. It wasn't much longer until I joined BTS on stage and received the same reaction. This to me was a piece of cake and was even enjoyable to the point to where I could see why the boys put so much effort into it. Then came the questionnaire.

The first few questions were ones we had expected like how everyone got along, opposite group bias, and so on. Then things got a little personal when I began getting specific questions. "So do you do special favors for your owners?" Which no, I didn't. The boys respected me enough as a human to not use me in such a way and I was blessed for that alone. "We do not believe in using Y/N for our own selfish gain. Next question," Namjoon answered for me. "So who specifically owns you?" I looked around nervously to see if that was something I could answer but Soobin simply said "we cant say anything about that unfortunately." Then the last question hit me like a ton of bricks. "How much are you willing to sell her for?" My heart dropped to the floor. Would they sell me? I should know the answer is no but with the life I have had so far I can never be certain. I looked dead into both of the leaders eyes, pleading that they would give me the answer I prayed for. "No," Yoongi sighed, "now please be respectful towards Y/N and stop treating her as an object. We all love her as she is now family to us and would like army and TXT fans alike to atleast respect that." My nerves lightened after that but I still caught myself wrapping my tail around Soobin's hand that rested on his leg under the table.

"I cant believe that just happened," Jungkook groaned while pinching the bridge of his nose. With all of us relaxing in one hotel room for the moment the ranting of today's questions ran throughout the cramped space. "Its ridiculous," Beomgyu chimed in, "she is human too! Why cant they see that?" I laid silently between Kai and Jimin as they soothingly petted my ears and tails to stop the agitated twitching and flicking. If they thought they were upset well they would be shocked to hear what I had to say! But I only decided to keep those thoughts to myself as to not disrespect the fans that love and adore the boys as I do. "Well I'm going to go have a vlive in my room to get my mind off of this," Jin sighed before he got up from the other bed. "Can I come Jinnie," I asked quietly, "I wont get in frame and I will be quiet but I want a distraction too?" He gave me a small smile and held out his hand. I pulled myself from between the two boys and ran to his side to intertwine our fingers.

The way he talked to army was so caring and sweet but he also was funny with the jokes and random things he would do. I watched from the chair in the corner of the room by the heater while he rested on his bed with the camera nice and set up, replying to as many comments as he could but struggled with the English ones. I had my phone on silent and had the vlive pulled up so I could see the comments that he struggled with and held back laughes when he tried to say things in English every once and a while to prove that he really was learning. Something nobody knew was that I was fluent in both english and Japanese as well from a few of the shelter I have been to and a few of the owners I was with for short periods. It was a skill I decided to keep hidden until absolutely neccessary. The boys did always warn me about reading comments though and the ones Jin couldnt understand was probably for the best at this moment. 'When are you going to get rid of that cat?' 'She is beginning to hold you back.' 'You should get a nice hybrid like a bunny or something.' 'I bet she was a stray. Who would want that thing anyways?' I felt sick as I continued to read. I glanced up at Jin who didnt even seem to notice the comments on the screen as they weren't in hangul and were moving too fast for him to study anyways. My ears fell flat against my scalp and tears welled up in my eyes when I finally read 'I bet when this topic blows over they will either sell her or euthanize her.' Already have been threatened with euthanization before I didnt want to even play with that thought. The boys wouldn't do that to me right? My lungs felt constricted, I needed air! So as quietly as I possibly could I slipped out of the bedroom and went to the front of the hotel to get in a few breaths of fresh air to clear my mind.

Well that's what I had hoped to do but as soon as I stepped out of the hotel a group of girls had swarmed me and grabbed me in a flash and pulled something to my face. "We got her," one said as i faded in and out of conciousness, "we got the BigHit kitten!"

[nightmaretyrantvantas]

So I have a rant and a half build up of rambling about my very first Percy Jackson Oc Elysia and I need to let it spill so all of you get to hear this info dump about her and my feels

Im putting a trigger warning here I made her when I first read the whole series a few years back. Her backstory isnt the happiest. So im going to put trigger warnings for mentions of (but not going into detail of) abuse, self harm, suicidal thoughts, so if you cant handle mentions of that please dont read this I dont want to upset you

Anyways I have years of work into this bab of mine and I need to get it all out

Also An important thing to note is the timeline of her(and my other ocs) stories. Basically it kinda takes place...as if Trials of Apollo didnt happen?? Sorta? I made her before it ever came out and set her story after Blood of Olympus before trials of apollo was announced so its basically diverges after Blood of Olympus...if that makes sense...I hope it does. 

So basically....At the start of her story Elysia is 13 Nico is 16(from what I remember its been about two years since I read the books so please forgive me)

Ok this might jump around alot because im kinda word vomiting and info dumping about her so if something doesnt make sense please feel free to ask me to clarify I love to

OK SO MY BAB

So her full name is Elysia Angela Melina and shes a Daughter of Hades. At the start when she gets to camp shes 13.

Im going to attatch two pictures ive drawn of her to the post here

This is her with a referrence sheet of her at 13-14 and the digital picture is one of her at the present time that I tend to write about her at age 16.

So Elysia doesnt have things easy. She comes from an abusive household that really fucked her up mentally and emotionally before she got to camp. She ran away at 13 after getting kicked out of her sixth or seventh school and thigs got ugly at home. Stuff happened and she was brought to camp(im refining and probably going to redo how that happens) and well...she doesnt exactly fit in.

Shes on the shorter side for her age and shes lanky and skinny(partially from both skipping meals and sometimes only eating when she can sneak food at home) and she comes onto the scene wearing oversized hand me downs in all dark colors and long sleeves thats got a clear fearful and insecure posture and stance and is always trying to blending into the background and hide from being noticed. Shes got a thick mane of not very well cared for black hair and eyes so dark in color they look completely black, sometimes even in the light with pretty dark bags under them highlighted by really really too pale skin. So it makes her an easy target to be bullied ya know? But she silently takes it like she always does while clutching this beat up little backpack she ran away with as shes put in the Hermes cabin until she’s claimed(which has a 1-3 day delay depending on the god, because a lot of kids come to camp especially at the start of summer) 

When she gets claimed she freaks out and panics because everyone is staring at her and shes suddenly the center of attention because it happened in the middle of the campfire.

So begins the bonding with her big brother.

Shes got alot of inner turmoils and traumas and problems and inner demons and as a result she has undiagnosed anxiety disorders, depression, and some PTSD along with a very low amount of self-esteem and confidence in herself from the ordeals of before reaching camp. Though once shes at camp and she eventually settles in she starts recovering bit by bit. She slowly gets close with nico(it starts kinda awkward for both of them and she comes off really quiet and shy and terrified of sudden movement so its a little hard but they overcome it)

 By the end of her first year at camp shes gotten close to Nico but has a really hard time making friends with other campers her own age so she ends up sticking close to Nico and following him like his shadow because theres a period of time that heś the only person Elysia feels even remotely safe and comfortable around. And as a result at first she spends alot more time with Nico’s friends and various members of the Big Seven and she gets close to them as well(more to her siblings at first but she gets there shes a nervous bean give her time)

Though in the middle of that first year she meets a girl that soon becomes one of her best and closest friends, a daughter of Hephaestus named Karter Becks(the second oc for this fandom I made) and I’ll get to more about their friendship later.

So by the second year at camp shes settled in a little, shes decidedly become a year-rounder because she would rather be eaten by a harpy than go back to “that horrible place”as she dubs it(not to mention its very very dangerous for her outside of camp)

More things about Elysia!!!

At thirteen she had absolutely NO control of reign of her abilities. She couldnt raise or summon the dead, her shadow travel was horribly spotty and half the time she couldnt even do so correctly and her most experience with spirits is that she can sense them and she can hear and speak to them but she cant really see them( they appear as really really blurry shapes that hurt her eyes to look at for too long) of course she beats herself up over this lack of skill, mostly because she(stupidly but understandably) compares her lack of teaching and training and beginner skill level to Nico’s at the time current skill level. Yeah its dumb and yeah in the back of her mind where her common sense is she realizes this but she cant stop herself from doing so, just like she unfairly to herself compares her sword fighting skill to older campers that have been there longer. 

She eventually gets her own sword of Stygian Iron, because no matter what else she tries no other swords feel...right to her. They’re always too heavy or too light too awkward to hold dont work right with her swings or just dont feel right to her so at some point shes overthinking herself to death about it and beating herself up for being too picky when Karter suggests innocently that she tries swinging around her brother’s sword. “After all Elys, whats the worst that would happen, that it feels too heavy?” 

But what ends up happening is that though its too heavy for her, it still feels...right. The best way to describe it is that she feels more connected to her powers and to herself in a way. After hearing that she gets her own of Stygian iron and its...perfect to her. Its not too heavy on her wrist or too light to wield. And afterwards she actually starts getting some more confidence which helps her improve a little faster than before.

Once Elysia is fully apart of camp life it takes a long time for it to fully click that her belongings...are hers and her likes and interests and likes are respected. They wont get taken away or threatened, she doesnt have to hide what she likes or pretend she doesnt like one thing or another. She’s free to be her own person for the first time in her life and she struggles for awhile to adjust to that and accept it. Those struggles result in alot of scattered breakdowns and even one or two...relaspes that for once in her life she has a support system of her half brother and half sister, his friends, her two close friends, and chiron to catch her and help her back to her feet. She has people to lean on and depend on and not have to be afraid of and this helps alot into her recovery and acceptance of herself and her mental illnesses. It takes her two of the three years shes been at camp for her to get at the better place shes at when shes 16, where she now has a small group of good friends, shes managed to bring up some of her self-esteem and self  confidence, shes been clean for a year and shes in therapy for her PTSD and depression and shes opened up more to those around her and shes not the terrified jumps at her own shadow kid but a more quiet but kindhearted and sometimes even giggly teen whose slowly getting her life back together with plans for the future.

But on the topic of things she likes...

This girl loves-no ADORES animals, all kinds mythical or not. She didnt show it at first but she was so SOOOO excited when she realized the camp had Pegasi even though she tried to keep a distance from them because she realized she made them nervous. Oh man you shouldve SEEN her when Chiron took a group of campers her age into the woods and they caught a glimpse of a passing through unicorn. She was giddy about it for DAYS guys. She just...she has so much love and admiration and excitement for animals its so cute you guys.

Elysia also loves(ironically) learning about Mythology, from all over the world. Its her special interest and when she finds and buys a old broken touch screen phone(or one of those touch screen i-pod or something) and gets Karter  to fiddle with it and (eventually after shenanigan filled misadventures of trying to upgrade it to not be detected by monsters and fix the cracked screen) she fills that thing to the brim of downloaded auidobooks of different mythologies as she can and she listens to them when doing schoolwork(she ends up having do be “homeschool” by online classes because things just do not go right when trying to attend schools outside of the protected borders)

She also loves anything soft. Especially stuffed animals. Oh my god she loves stuffed animals, well into her teens. She had one she managed to bring with her to camp that is her ultimate comfort object, a older beat up and been through a life time of ringers and back stuffed husky doll that she cherishes and takes care of like one might take care of gold. Over time (once they found out her birthday--October 5th) she starts getting stuffed animals as presents or just even as little splurges on herself . She also loves soft blankets soft clothes soft anything. She loves the texture and feel of it and it makes her happy.

She’s an aspiring writer and songwriter and can even sing a little but she has no confidence in her ability in any of those. But she has boxes and piles of notebooks and journals filled with little cartoony doodles and pages upon pages of stories and songs shes been writing for years now

Fun fact during her first year at camp Percy and Annabeth dropped by for a visit during their winter break to visit friends and I have this whole little story I might post about hoe when Percy’s walking to go meet someone he finds Elysia sitting alone at the beach doodling animals in her journal and he goes up to her(shes sitting all curled up so at a distance it probably looked like she was crying or something) to see if shes ok and because Nico had been telling him about her via iris messages and updates since she got there but he didnt get to meet her during the summer(stuff happened and she kinda hid from alot of people) but he finds her and he sits with her(after announcing his presence because Nico has told him about her being very jumpy and easily scared and that at that point hes the only one she really opens up to so dont take offense to it) and they sit for a bit and Percy asks her about her doodles and she just, for the first time like ever, she starts to open up because she gets so freaking excited and hyper about it that she just starts babbling away about her doodles and the animals of them and then about animals in general and she goes on this whole, like 30-40 minute info dump/ rant about them complete with diverting tangent questions that she answers herself before continuing with this just lit up and openly happy and ecstatic expression as she goes on and on while hes sitting there just listening to her and smiling down at her partly nostalgically because at that moment she reminds him so much of how Nico was when he first met him and you got him started on Mythomagic and that shes being so open about her excitement and then she looks at him and realizing what she was doing and she shuts herself up now panicking about how much she just word vomited on her big brother’s friend and more importantly this huge shot demigod Son of Poseidon whose saved the world not once but TWICE and who is probably very busy too busy to be hanging around with her--you get the idea of her panicking until Percy slowly reaches out his hand and she nods to let him know its ok and he ruffles her hair and tells her its ok he liked listening to her and holy shit I went on a tangent about that. 

She also has alot of sweet bonding moments with Nico and Hazel because they teach her about having a loving and caring family and what thats like and its really sweet and cute and emotional

Did I mention she likes taking Nico’s shirts? Oh yeah she likes “borrowing” Nico’s shirts, and some of his jackets, mostly t-shirt and long sleeved shirts because once they get close his scent and presence really relaxes her nerves if she gets anxious. Of course its not stealing, its just borrowing and eventually giving back on laundry days...or he just lends it to her without being fully aware of it. Its cute because shes so short that they end up really big on her and she loves flapping the sleeves and the feeling of being engulfed in the safety of his presence without him even being there

ANYWAY COUGH COUGH 

uhhhhhhh....yeah thats alot about her huh I think i’ll leave you all with that to take it and make sense of and I might make a part two(or you guys can ask about her too) 

and yeeeeeeeeeee thats my PJO oc Elysia Melina!!

@phantommoonpeople 

@kid-crashed

@demidorks (im sorry if im bothering you by tagging you youre one of the pjo blogs I follow and one of my favorites)

[canadiankazz]

The Second Time - An L.A. by Night fanfic

Annabelle and Jasper told themselves last time would be the only time. They were wrong. She can't stop thinking about it and wants to go again. 

SPOILERS for the end of Campaign 1, but not yet for the one-shots. This is going to go off canon pretty quickly, so consider this an AU. It's worth reading Part 1 (The First Time) before you read this. I obviously don’t lay claim to any of the characters involved. This fanfiction is part two in a multi-part Jasper/Annabelle fic. It is intended for a mature audience. Written before the premiere of Season 2.

Very, very special thanks again to @cravatfiend for their never ending encouragement, ideas and enthusiastic reactions to reading the first drafts. When I asked about the thunderstorm, their reaction was "DO IT!" I hope everyone loves this as much as they do.

Also posted to my Ao3.

First posted Jan. 19, 2019.

The Entire ‘Feeds From’ Master List Can be Found Here

The Second Time

They had promised themselves, after that first time, that it wouldn’t happen again. That it wouldn’t become an ongoing thing. It was just a one-off, to help Jasper out for a night, to give him a little more time to find another feeding option.

But she had been dreaming about him, about his fangs in her wrist and the pain and pleasure it had brought her body. She found herself staring at him more often during coterie meetings, watching Jasper as he bantered with Victor. She had never noticed before now just how often his fangs could be seen, his habit of running his tongue over them while he considered what to say. Every time he did it, she could feel a nervous little coil in her belly. It was like when she first realised she had a mad crush on Elleanore. It was excitement. It was arousal. And its source was one hundred percent unexpected.

Sometimes, he would glance at her, and they would share a private smile. Sometimes, she would catch him staring at her too. She was glad that vampires couldn’t blush without conscious effort.

Shortly before dawn a few weeks later, she was sitting on her bed with her phone in her hands. She was nervous. She felt like a teenager again. She had texts to Jasper open on her screen. This was not the coterie group chat, oh no. No way. This was private, or so she hoped. Just to him. Her thumbs hovered over the screen as the thought about what to send to him. She knew she had to send something. This had been eating at her mind for a while now.

She settled on a greeting to start with. “Hey, Jasper. You still up?” she texted. She bit her lip while she waited for a reply. Even if he read it right away, with his shitty old phone it would still take him a while to get back to her.

A few minutes later, his reply came. “Yes. U?”

She exhaled in relief and some excitement. “Yeah.” She hesitated, then continued. “This is just between you and me. No group chat. I want to talk.” She hit send.

“Ok. What about?”

“Have you...” she hesitated again. She closed her eyes and banged her head lightly on the wall. This was so stupid! She couldn't believe she was doing this. “... found anyone else to eat with yet?” She hoped he would get her meaning.

“No.”

She sighed. She had figured as much. Every time Victor asked about it, which wasn't very often, Jasper had shrugged and gave a non-committal “I'm fine, it's under control,” kind of answer.

“You hungry?”

“Always.”

She groaned to herself. “I mean more than usual.”

His next reply took a little longer. Why? She wished she could know what was going through his mind. “Yes.”

“Want to...” she paused and tried to think of how to phrase this, “get a bite with me?” She resisted the urge to add some kind of emoji. Jasper definitely wasn't the type.

There was another long pause before he replied. It was long enough that she had to wake up her screen a few times. It was long enough to make her curse herself. This was a mistake! She shouldn't have-

“Sure. If you'd like.”

She stared at the screen, its light illuminating her hopeful face. She bit her lip again. “Yeah? Same as before?”

Another long pause. She wondered if he was sitting on his bed too, texting her with the lights off.

“Ok.”

Annabelle laughed softly to herself. He wasn't a big texting conversationalist. Again, she resisted to urge to add emojis. She knew her audience. “Same time, same place?”

“Come around 3.”

She nodded to herself as her thumbs moved on the screen. “Ok, see you then. Sleep well.”

“U 2.”

She smirked and put her phone down to sleep.

The next night, around 3:00 am, she found herself waiting outside the front door to Jasper's sanctum. She was twitchy with excitement. If she could sweat, she would have. More than once, she scolded herself for acting this way. This shouldn't be that big of a deal, really. It was just a little bite. A few seconds of...

bliss

No! Of...

euphoria

She sighed again. What the hell was she doing? This was Jasper she was thinking about! Jasper! The Nosferatu! Her friend! There was no way she should feel this way!

But she did, that was the problem. She did. It was that bite that had done it. Although he was the one who had done all the work, she felt like she was the one who had sinned. How did the line from Rocky Horror go? “I've tasted blood and I want more...”

“More, more, more!”

A bright flash in the sky knocked her out of her thoughts, closely followed by sudden loud sound of thunder rumbling angrily nearby. She looked up. The sky was pitch black, rolling thunderclouds. The forecast had called for light rain, but it looked like something much bigger was brewing. Any minute now, it was going to bucket down. She had better get inside. She clenched her fists, staring at the door. It was now or never. She knocked, just loudly enough that she hoped he heard it. It echoed metallically down the passage beyond.

She thought it would take him a minute to answer the door, but it only took a second. He must have been waiting just on the other side. She jumped a little, startled when the hatch opened so soon after her knock. Jasper's pale face, haloed in his black hoodie, peeked out. He smiled when he saw her. “Hey.”

“Hey,” she replied, with a nervous little wave.

“Come on inside. It's going to rain,” he said stepping back into the darkness. As she followed, she felt the first few drops land on her head.

Once again, they made sure the door was secure before heading down into the heart of Jasper's home. The sounds of rain outside were very much muffled by the time they got down through his small maze. Jasper was quiet. Annabelle was too, but her nerves were still coiled like a spring. Jasper must have noticed this, because just outside of the room with the cage in it, he paused and put a hand on her shoulder.

“Relax,” he told her.

She giggled. “I am relaxed!” she lied badly.

He arched an eyebrow at her in disbelief. He put his other hand on her other shoulder, squaring off with her. They hasn't touched each other once between now and the last time she had been here. She realised she had been slightly starved for it.

“Relax,” he said again. His eyes stared into hers. His gaze was still intense, but there was an odd softness in it she didn't see him use often on other people. “We don't have to do this if you don't want to. We can just... hang out. Talk. Maybe listen to some music.”

“No, I... I do want to do this, Jasper. I want to help you.”

She could see his tongue moving in his closed mouth, running over his fangs, perhaps in anticipation. “Okay. But we don't have to leap in right away. Come on.”

He lead her through into his lounge again. She only glanced at the cage in the corner of the room briefly, but long enough to note that it had a new lock on it.

Annabelle sat in the same chair she had last time, and Jasper sat in his. More thunder rumbled overhead, and they both looked up to the stone ceiling. It must have been loud outside for them to hear it all the way down where they were. Jasper's lamp flickered ominously. Annabelle chuckled uneasily. “Hell of a storm, huh?”

“Yeah,” Jasper agreed. He didn't seem massively bothered by it. “I didn't think it was going to rain this hard, but it's good. The state needs it.”

Annabelle nodded. They had both heard about the horrible fires recently. It was scary how close they had gotten to the city, and of how many lives and homes had been lost. “I hope the lightning doesn't start any more fires.”

“Yeah, I hope not either, but we'll be safe down here.”

“Does this place leak?”

“No,” he smirked proudly. “Even if the river floods, I've made sure that the water can't reach down here. It's more inconvenient than anything, because if it does flood, it means there's only one other way out.”

“What way's that?”

Jasper looked deliberately at the big, metal door that lead to the labyrinth. Annabelle's eyes went wide.

“Oh no!” she exclaimed. “No, I'm not going back in there!”

Jasper put a hand on her knee. The gesture was familiar and comforting, and brought back memories for both of them of the last time they were in this room. “You don't have to go back through there. I won't make you do that.”

She sighed, forcing herself to let go of some of the tension in her muscles. “Okay. Thanks.”

Jasper smiled. He pulled back to lower his hood again. Annabelle gazed at his black veins. “Do they go all the way down?” she asked, surprising both herself and him with the question.

He licked his fangs. Her stomach fluttered.

“Yeah,” he answered.

“Can I...” Annabelle stopped herself.

He arched another eyebrow at her. “Can you what?”

“Can I see? Please?” she asked softly.

Jasper thought about it for a moment, then shook his head. “I'd rather not. Not tonight.”

“Okay.” Annabelle looked away, fidgeting with her hands in her lap.

“You're still nervous,” Jasper observed. “Why are you freaking out?”

She sighed, not looking at him. “I guess... I don't know.” She continued to fidget. She could feel Jasper's eyes on her. Thunder rumbled again, far above. “Last time... I liked it, like, really, really liked it. A lot more than I thought it would, and... I can't stop thinking about it. I know that we said this wouldn't be a thing we would keep doing, but, I...” she trailed off. She was trying not to cry.

She felt Jasper's hand on her knee again. She could see his long, white fingers contrasting hard against her dark denim. He had peeling black nail polish on. “I think I know how you feel, at least a little,” he explained softly. “When a Kindred tastes another Kindred's blood, they get a feeling for their emotions. Vitae is kind of... magical in that way. I also had an inkling of where you were these past few weeks.”

She looked up into his unearthly pale face. “You did?”

He nodded. “Yeah. It's a side-effect. If we do this again, that will get stronger.”

“Was it like that for... the others you've fed on?”

He nodded again. “Yeah.”

“Will... my feelings get stronger?”

“I don't know. The bite, or the Kiss as the fancier vampires call it...”

Annabelle couldn’t help but smile, just a little.

“It's supposed to feel good,” Jasper continued. “As I mentioned last time, it's to help make sure the, um, victim doesn't get away, doesn't want to get away. So... yeah. It will probably feel good for you again, if we do this again. But... the more often we do this, Annabelle, the more often we will want to keep doing this. It could become a difficult cycle to break.”

Annabelle listened intently. She appreciated him laying all this out for her, and letting her make her own decisions about it. She had always been one to follow her heart, even when that sometimes led her into foolish or dangerous situations. Ignoring temporarily how amazing Jasper's bite had made her feel, she was still uncomfortable with him not having a reliable source to feed from. She hated seeing any of her friends suffer, and this never-ending hunger they all went through was torture. Besides, otherwise, Jasper would be out there stalking for some, well, maybe not innocent, but some non-consenting victim. She didn't want that.

She could feel herself calming down. Her anxiety drained away somewhat. She put her hand onto his, mirroring again how she had touched him last time. When the thunder called in the distance, she ignored it. She looked into his eyes and her gaze was steady, as was her voice. “I want to do it again.”

He smiled. He looked hopeful. He was looking forward to this too, she realised. Well, of course he was. Consent is an amazing and sexy thing. “Okay.”

The lights flickered again, violently. Annabelle glanced at the lamp, worried. “What do we do if you lose power? Do you have candles?”

Jasper sighed in exasperation and gave her a flat look that just screamed “you've got to be kidding me!” She realised her mistake and face palmed.

“Ugh, no! Fire bad!”

“Yes, fire very bad, Annabelle,” he scolded. “I'd be a poor excuse for a vampire if I were afraid of the dark.” His voice softened a touch. “Why? Are you?”

“Maybe... a little?” she admitted.

“Don't be. The scariest thing in here is me,” he assured her honestly.

She smiled again.

The lights suddenly died. Every single one. They were in complete blackness.

Annabelle flinched despite herself. She felt Jasper give her knee a squeeze. It made very little difference if she had her eyes open or closed, it was so dark. She was practically blind.

“It's alright,” Jasper said in the darkness.

“Yeah...” Annabelle forced herself to relax again. Jasper was right. He was the scariest thing there, and nothing would dare hurt them in his home.

“Do you still want to go through with it?”

“Yeah,” Annabelle said. Then, thinking about it further, a feeling of daring welled up inside her. This darkness could maybe be useful in a rather... kinky way. “Actually, yes,” she said, her voice more confidant. “I think I'm ready. Just... give me a second...”

She wriggled out of her jacket and tried to leave it on the back of the chair again, but she heard it slip off and fall to the floor. “Oops. Damn,” she mumbled.

“Don't worry about it,” Jasper said. He sounded amused. “We'll find it later.”

Annabelle heard him move. He kept his hand on her, reassuring. She appreciated it. She trailed her hand gently up his arm to his chest and shoulder and discovered that he was kneeling in front of her again. She gulped. That feeling of anticipation returned in her gut. Butterflies, she realised. He was giving her butterflies in her stomach. It really did remind her of her first few weeks in a new relationship with Mark and Elleanor. What would they think if they could see her now?

Jasper's hands found Annabelle's. She could feel his cold fingers on her palm and wrist, the same one as before. Something about not being able to see him made this all the more exciting. It made her remaining senses tingle. She kept her other hand on her knee.

“Ready?” Jasper asked. She couldn’t feel any breath on her skin, even though his face was so close to her hand. He was holding her gently again, so she could pull away if she wanted to. He sounded thirsty.

She nodded, then realised he probably couldn’t see that. “Yes,” she said firmly.

There was no light to catch the flash of his fangs this time, but she still felt them sink into her wrist. There was the pain, then the pleasure rippled up and into her core. She let out a soft, slow gasp at the sensation. Her toes curled in her shoes. Her Beast squirmed and wriggled. She felt herself bearing her own fangs a little, in the darkness.

He was licking and sucking on her slowly, tenderly, drawing her Vitae out and into himself. His bite was as tender as last time, and like last time, she could tell even in the zero light that he was holding back. In a sudden burst of enthusiasm, she reached over and found his head in the darkness with her free hand. His skin was cold and inhuman and in another circumstance, in another life, she would have been repulsed to her core. Right now, however, her fingers found the back of his head and pressed him gently, but firmly closer to her. She was offering him more, encouraging him to bite harder.

He did. His Beast didn't need to be asked twice. She felt more pressure from his jaws, more teeth against her skin. His fangs pushed deeper. More Vitae came out as more pleasure surged back in.

She moaned, ever so softly.

She could hear him growl. She felt the vibrations of it up her arm. It made her shiver. The sensations intensified another degree. She bit back another little moan.

Far above them, the thunder rolled across the night sky as the storm lashed the city.

Annabelle lost track of how long Jasper's mouth stayed on her wrist, or rather low long she urged him to keep it there. She could feel, through her pleasurable brain fog, her Beast writhing, as if in a panic. Her head swam. After what felt like a year, Jasper pulled back with a little jerk, forcing himself away. He give her wrist a final long lick, not letting any precious Vitae escape. Then he took both her hands in his and shifted his weight a little closer, with his long legs curled up under himself. He sat at her feet and listened to her pant and come down from the high of his vampiric kiss. His Beast snarled away in his chest and throat, demanding he finish the job properly. He gritted his teeth against it. He had taken more from her than last time, maybe a little too much more. He tried not to beat himself up about it. Annabelle knew full well what she was getting herself into, he had made sure of that.

Jasper counted slowly to twenty, then softly asked “Annabelle?”

“Mmm?” she sighed.

He felt a smile creep onto his face. “You okay?”

“Mm-hmm...” she sighed again, happily.

“I took more that time. Sorry.”

“'s okay... Jasper...” she squeezed his hands weakly. “I wanted you to...”

“Yeah, I uh, noticed.” He plainly remembered her desperate touch on the back of his head, driving him to take more of her. “How do you feel?”

“Mmm... tired. Dizzy...” she moaned again softly. “Goooood...”

He smiled and let his forehead rest against their hands on Annabelle's lap. He had to admit to himself he liked how pleased Annabelle sounded. It was as if she got as much out of the feeding as he did.

He could hear the distant sound of the storm, especially the heavy rushing of water. It was as he predicted. The L.A. River was flooding. Normally, it was little more than a weak drainage ditch, but when it rained, the concrete and glass of the city couldn’t absorb the water and it all got pushed into the river. The artificial concrete river bed offered the water no resistance as it sped along into the Pacific. It did mean, however, that getting out through his front door would be very difficult, especially if Annabelle didn't want to get soaked.

“The river has risen,” he said.

“Mmm?”

“I said, the river has risen. You won't be able to get out of here tonight, unless you want to swim.”

That seemed to bring her back to her senses somewhat. He felt her shift in her seat, but not pull away from him. “Oh. Shit. Um... I guess I'll have to stay here then?” She sounded a tiny bit nervous, like he might say no.

At that moment, he felt like he wouldn’t be able to deny her anything, least of which, a safe place to sleep. “Of course, you're welcome to stay,” he said. His head was still resting against her lap. He felt oddly comfortable there.

“Thanks,” Annabelle murmured.

Jasper looked up suddenly, at where he thought her face to be, with a sudden concern. “How hungry are you?”

“Um... a bit,” she admitted, feeling her Beast continue to squirm in her chest, “but I'll be okay until tomorrow.”

“Are you sure?” Jasper pressed.

She thought about it for another moment, then give his hands another, slightly stronger squeeze. “Yeah, I'm sure.”

Jasper relaxed. “Good.”

He spent another minute or so sitting on the floor at Annabelle's feet, holding her hands in the darkness, his head resting comfortably in her lap. It took her longer to recover from this one, which made sense given the larger amount of blood he has taken from her. It had spooked her Beast somewhat, but Annabelle pressed back down hard on that fear and snuffed it out. Jasper had stopped. He had pulled back without drinking her completely. She had gotten to a state, almost, where she wondered if she could have stopped him if she had wanted to. Part of her doubted that she could have. It scared her and thrilled her. It also strengthened her trust for Jasper. She thought that his control over his Beast was powerful, indeed. Much better, certainly, than, say... Victor had over his. She felt strangely proud of Jasper. Very strange indeed.

Time passed. The storm raged on for several more hours, turning the L.A. River into a dangerous, uncrossable wall of water, barricading them inside Jasper's sanctum.

After a while, Annabelle pulled herself gently away from Jasper. She heard and felt him shift and move, quite reluctantly, she thought, away from her and back up into his chair. She checked her phone, wincing at the bright light from the screen. Dawn was still a few hours off, but close enough that if she were to be heading home, now would be the time. She glanced up at Jasper before the light from her phone died and saw his ghost-like paleness in the dark. It was very creepy, but she smiled.

“You look very spooky,” she told him.

He grinned, showing fangs that were once again spotlessly clean. Her insides squirmed. The dim phone light, wanting to conserve battery power, turned itself off.

They spent the next few hours talking, mostly about music and various bands they both liked. She liked how current Jasper's taste in music was, over all, but was surprised to find out that he loved classical as well. He had been trying to learn a Rachmaninoff piece on the piano, a long time ago, but had been able to get it right to his satisfaction.

Annabelle was mildly startled when she received a buzz on her phone from Nelli, making sure she wasn't out in the storm. She showed the text to Jasper, who found it amusing.

“She's a lot more maternal than she'd like to admit,” Jasper chuckled.

“Yep, she sure is,” Annabelle smirked, and texted back that she was “fine, thanks mom. ;)”

She made sure to check her playlist as well, before her phone's power completely died, and added a song of comfort, love and reassurance onto it. Her heart felt full, though her Beast grumbled away unhappily. It could wait until tomorrow to be dealt with though.

Then it was time for bed.

The electricity was still off. In the mortal world above them, Los Angeles would wake to the chaos of people being late for work and school due to the foul weather and power outages, but Jasper and Annabelle didn't care about any of that.

Jasper gently led Annabelle by her hand through the darkness to his small, barren bedroom. She was very glad for this, because she was completely certain she would become hopelessly lost in his rabbit's warren of a home in the dark otherwise. All his bedroom had in it was a bed. It was a fairly good sized one to suit Jasper's tall frame, but it wasn't really big enough for two unless they were being very intimate. Jasper had never, ever expected that he'd be in a circumstance where he would have to share his bed. He had a mild desire to now though. He wasn't surprised about that, given how much of Annabelle's blood he had recently consumed.

“You can have the bed,” he told her. He held onto her elbow with one hand and put his other hand gently on her lower back to guide her to it. She reached out blindly and found the bedspread. It was very inexpensive, but suitable for Jasper's needs. Nelli would have gotten a rash if she ever touched it due to the lack of fine thread-count.

“What about you?” Annabelle asked. “You won't sleep on the floor...”

“Actually, yeah. I will.”

“Oh, Jasper, please... are you sure?”

“I'll be fine, Annabelle,” he said soothingly in her ear. “I'll steal an extra pillow and I'll be right here, next to the bed.”

“Still doesn’t sound comfortable,” Annabelle said, doubtful. She awkwardly pulled her shoes off in the darkness and let them drop with two solid thunks to the floor.

“I've had far worse. Please. You're my guest. I insist.”

She knew their time to argue was limited, so she gave up. “Okay. Thanks.” She lay back on the bed and got comfortable. She had the funny feeling of an unfamiliar mattress, but she knew that soon that would be unimportant. She could hear Jasper lay down on the floor next to the bed on her right side. She knew that he didn't have to make any sound at all if he didn't want to. It was for her benefit, to reassure her that he was still present in the pitch black room.

Annabelle rolled over to face him and reached a hand over the side. She found the fabric of his hoodie and his rib cage beneath it. His cold hand found hers and he found himself intertwining his fingers with hers.

“Sleep well,” she wished him.

“You too,” he replied.

There was no sound of slow, sleeping breath in the dark room as the vampires slept. A silence of the grave fell as soon as they both lost consciousness. They slept while still holding hands, Annabelle reaching over the bed to Jasper below. Annabelle's last thoughts were that next time, and she was almost sure now that there would be a next time because she wasn't going to fool herself again, they might share a bed afterwards. Jasper's last thoughts were that next time, they were definitely going to share a bed afterwards.

[vellihor]

選擇 ° chpt 3.

genre 》 skz mafia!au

word count 》 1380

warning 》 angst, violence, gore, etc.

__________________________________________________________

MINJUNG

all eyes were on hyunjin as he walked down the stairs with his eyes barely open. all of us were gathered on the couch after breakfast, watching variety shows on the television. and as usual, hyunjin was the last to wake up. so we paid no attention to him as he stumbled his way into the kitchen to grab a cup of coffee.

"yubin is in the kitchen," felix told hyunjin. hyunjin only replied with a disconcerned grunt.

"tune in into our daily morning show of hyunjin and yubin fighting over nothing early in the morning," jisung said to those seated in the living room.

a minute has passed and there hasnt been shouting or any sound coming from the kitchen. all of us exchanged glances with each other. and all of a sudden all of us were scrambling to get to the kitchen.

the sight infront of us was extraordinary. neither of us believed it. hyunjin was seated at the kitchen counter with yubin opposite of him, eating breakfast. all of us frowned in confusion.

"ok what the fuc-" jisung broke the silence, only to be silenced by changbin and dragged away.

"lets not disturb them. let them try to get along." changbin said, letting go of jisung.

"no you dont get it. we are not the ones disturbing them. THEIR behaviour is the one disturbing us." jisung whisper-shouted.

" we can hear you jisung," yubin said from the kitchen.

"its not a bad thing that theyre getting along." chan said while walking up the stairs.

"meeting at third floor 10am later. nobody is to be late."

"wait,, thats in one minute." seungmin pointed out.

"oh shi-"

----------------------------------

YUBIN

and thats how we ended up in the conference room seated around the huge mahogany meeting table. hyunjin's mouth stuffed with toasted bread and me still holding my cup of coffee.

"gee thanks for the heads-up captain," i grumbled under my breath, while staring at chan.

chan carries on setting up his laptop, unbothered. when he turns around, an unfamilar map flashes on the projector screen. we all turn to minjung for the map analysis. i see minjung cock her eyebrow while scanning the map.

"h&h corps. hq? why?"

she points out after recognising the layout of the buildings. chan chuckles and the screen blacks out and shows an infrared video, probably from a cctv.

at first, there was nothing significant happening. just a few security guards on night guard duty, patrolling the compound. until we see several trucks entering the compound, only to leave the compound half an hour later.

"in these recent months, h&h corps. have been lying on the down low after their alleged money laundering lawsuit. but these trucks have been coming and going into the h&h hq in the middle of the night. plus their shares have been skyrocketing. yet the investigating team cant find any evidence of them doing shady business. dont you find anything about this fishy?" chan briefs us. silence falls over all of us as we ponder over the possiblities.

i sip my coffee and stare at the video replaying. until something in the video catches my eye. i walk to the front where the computer is and pause the video. intrigued, the members watched as i continue staring at the paused video, gears turning in my head.

"chan, i need a team of four to take with me. we set off tonight." i look at chan directly into his eyes.

chan seems to consider my outburst. he then nods ever so slightly and gestures to the members.

"take your pick."

---------------

"remember, dont attract unnecessary attention and watch out for the shadows." i emphasized as we crouched by the wall beside the guard house.

"you know yubin,, just in case you forgot,, you havent told us what on earth are those shadows." hyunjin turned to look at me.

"wait wheres jisung?"

i look around and i only see woojin, hyunjin with their backs plastered onto the walls. jisung's voice came through the earpiece.

"dont worry i will meet up with you guys after this."

i breathe out a sigh of relief. just then, i see movement in the dense forest infront of me. i squint and try to follow the moving figure. the figure was clad in black but i caught a flash of gold around the neck. the figure disappeared into the forest yet again.

"did you guys see that?" i asked the two guys beside me.

"see what?" woojin replied.

"nothing. nevermind." i shook my head.

just then, the gate opened and a line of eight trucks appeared around the corner. they all stopped before the gate and the security guards walk to each of the trucks with flashlights.

"now."

the three of us each get under different trucks. i grab the nooks and crannies of the engine on the underside of the truck, lifting myself off the the ground.

"ah fuck im getting tired already yubin. how is this a good idea." hyunjin whined through the earpiece.

before i could reply him, woojin snapped back at him, "suck it up hyunjin."

soon enough, the trucks started moving through the gates and into one of the buildings inside. the moment the trucks stopped, i released my hold and dropped onto the ground. footsteps were everywhere. i rolled away from the truck and ran towards the nearest crate.

there were easily a hundred men in the warehouse moving the crates into the eight trucks. the sides of the crates were stamped with some kind of symbol. it seemed way too familiar. i couldnt place my finger on it.

"yubin where are you? the trucks are moving off soon. we are outside the gates already." woojin's urgent voice snapped me out of my daze.

i shuffle my way along the huge crates, towards the gates. hearing some hushed voices speaking, i stop in my tracks and eavesdrop the conversation.

"tomorrow......6pm........kim.......gym" i scrunched my nose in confusion. i couldnt make out most of the words. the trucks were already fully loaded. i peeked around the corner of the crates, trying to take a look of how they look. i only saw a man in a suit back-facing me. as i tried to look for more distinct features. i see a tattoo on his neck. suddenly he turns around, i quickly fling myself back behind the crates. i sprint out of the warehouse and all the way to the fence at the side.

"guys, im outside, just over the fence. i need more information. i will find you later."

"wait where the fuck are you going?"

-------------

the time was about half past three midnight and it was pretty dark out. i scanned my surroundings and i was pretty sure i saw jisung in the bushes a few metres down the road.

my eyes wandered about in my dark surroundings and as my eyes landed on a big tree with huge overhanging branches. i smiled to myself and slowly made my way towards the tree as stealthily as i could. seungmin's voice came through the earpiece. the trucks were coming in my direction in five minutes. i quickly climbed the tree and positioned myself on a branch, hidden by the leaves.

just in time, the trucks appeared around the corner. i waited in anticipation and when the lights along the street went out, i thanked minjung secretly.

i let myself drop on top of the last truck. the intercom crackled.

"genius what were you thinking? you just alerted them to an ambush."

"shut up hwang. i dont need your bullshit now."

i gripped the side of the truck and swung my legs into the driver's seat, successfully kicking the driver in the face and knocking him out cold. gripping the steering wheel, i saw jisung on a motorcycle in the rearview mirror, being followed by two black vans. i cursed under my breath.

"jisung, you got a tail on your four and eight. im taking eight."

hyunjin appears behind the two vans and pulls out his pistol. jisung skillfully dodges the bullets that come flying past him.

before i could even look back to see what had happened, i was already back at the warehouse. i jumped out from the driver's seat and dragged the unconscious man out from the truck.

"what do we do with him?" i asked chan.

"white room," he replies.

[dxlanwrites]

"Old Roots" .1 (G.D)

A/N: After re-reading the series I didn't like how fast the plot developed so I've been rewriting the current parts that are up. Some parts are still the same, others are different and have added scene's. Here's part 1. She's a long one so watch out. Enjoy.

Part 1 Part 2 Part 3 Part 4 Part 5

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An eerie quietness fell over the neighborhood as I closed my car door. The quiet thumps of my boots hitting the broken slabs of concrete sidewalk were the only noise that could be distinctly heard. It had to be around 3 a.m by now but I wouldn’t of known since my phone was currently smashed to piece's on my living room floor. Pulling my leather jacket closer to my body to help keep out the chill, I neared my destination. About a block away at the end of the almost abandoned street sat a fairly new looking home surrounded by cars and motorcycles. A warm almost inviting glow was hidden behind the closed curtains that framed the windows. A soft buzz of chatter could be heard as I got closer. Carefully maneuvering my way through the vehicles, I stopped and stood at the bottom of the steps that led up to the door and front porch. Damn. I haven’t been here in years but everything still seemed familiar. I still knew every inch of this house as if it were my own which it basically was to my 16 year old self, but now it was all just a distant memory. Taking a deep breathe, I reluctantly made my way up the steps. My boots sounded heavy against the newly placed wood, no doubt alerting everyone inside that someone was out here. Pulling open the screen door that was the only thing separating me from my past, I raised my arm and moved my clenched hand forward. Only to stop mere centimeters from the wooden door. I should of just called, I thought to myself. There was no need to do this face to face, yet here I was. No more hesitating. I have to do this. I need to do this. Taking another deep breath and rolling my shoulders back to relaxed slightly, I brought up my knuckles banged them against the cold wooden door. Knocking hard three times, I backed up slightly and harded my facial expression. Game face. The chatter inside died down alittle and the sound of footsteps were nearing the door. As the lockes clicked unlocked, my breath hitched when realization finally kicked in. Here goes nothing. The door was swung open and the familiar scent hit me like a ton of bricks but I quickly pulled myself together, pushing back any emotions that dared to break the surface. Looking back at me curiously stood someone I’ve never seen before. He looked pretty young and old at the same time, had to be no more then 17. His scruff aged him more than it should of but his baby face showed his youth. The jet black hair of his layed messily underneath the hood that was lazily thrown up. His bright green eyes were shinning as if he was just laughing hysterically at something. The throat being cleared from this unknown boy helped regain my attention when he caught he taking in his features.

“Can I help you?” His deep voice rang out into the air as his eyes narrowed in on me. Mentally clearing my mind and straightening up slightly to help with the height disadvantage I was at, I began to speak. 

“You can help me by stepping aside and letting me in.” I said emotionless.

"And why would I do that?" He said leaning into the door frame as he crossed his arms.

"Because I said so. So move." I said getting slightly annoyed.

"Yeah. Okay." He said stepping back as if he was about to let me walk in, only to shove me back by my shoulder and began to close the door. Okay, I wont play nice then. Kicking my leg out to stop the door from closing, I pushed myself inside. Taken back from my sudden aggressiveness, he quickly put himself inbetween me and the destination i seeked.

“You have about 5 seconds to get off the property or you’ll regret it, little one.” He said down to me.

"Little one?” I repeated quietly as I moved in closer to him, dangerously close. Lifting up my hand, I gently traced my finger down his jawline stopping at his chin.

“Oh honey the only little one here is you.” I said grabbing the collar of his hoodie and pulling him out of the doorway and onto the ground of the porch.

“Word of advice, never threaten me again. Or you’ll regret it.” I hissed at him. As I walked in, memories began to flow. Everything looked fairly the same, some changes had occured throughout the years though. New furniture, fresh layer of paint on the walls, pictures in picture frames taken out and replaced with new memories. A loud familiar laugh soon invaded my ears as it came from where the living room should be, unless that changed too. Before I could chicken out and run away, my feet were already reluctantly  moving me in that direction. Fast and loud footsteps were heading my way as I made my way ddeeper inside, no doubt from the boy I just met. When his figure emerged from the corner and spotted me, he lunged forward and tried to grab my arms only to be kneed in the groin and pushed onto the floor. This small commotion caused everyone to turn from their spots on the couches and look at the noise. Confused and shocked faces met my hardened one as they spotted me. No one said anything, just stared back with blank expressions, except for a brunette whose tits were basically pouring out of her tank top.

“Who the hell are you?” She said standing up from the recliner. Before she could take a step forward the arm from the guy next to her shot out infront of her to stop her from moving closer. She looked up confused as to why she was halted and was about to say something but the sound of glass breaking beat her to it. Looking to my right to where the shatter came from I saw a familiar face. My heart skipped a beat in excitement as my eyes connected with his. 

“Y/n?” He said in pure and utter shock. A smile spread across my lips as I closed the distance between us and ran into his arms. A few seconds later after his mind click on and realized I was real, he returned my hug and held me tight against him. I don't know what came over me to run into his arms like that but I was secretly happy I did. I hadn’t even noticed a single tear left my eyes until we broke apart to get a good look at one another when he quickly swiped it off my face. 

“Ethan.” I said breathlessly. His small smile grew bigger as he released me from his grasp. Our little moment was ruined by a deep groan from behind me, turning around I completely forgot about the boy I kneed a moment ago.

“What happened to you?” Ethan asked as he peered past me. The boy didn’t say anything instead just pointed at me instead. 

“She did this? Y/n, you’ve been here for not even 5 minutes and are already causing trouble.” He teased.

“What can I say, trouble seems to follow me. In my defense he didnt let me inside when I was being nice then he threatened me then basically came at me so he’s lucky all he got was a kick to the balls.” I said blankly.

“Still got it I see. Attitude and all.” He laughed.

“Kinda hard to forget. Blame it on the muscle memory.” I joked. Ethan rolled his eyes and bent down to pick up the glass from his cup he broke. Someone else I didnt know got up from the couch and headed towards the kitchen to get a broom.

“Damn y/n in the flesh. Never a sight I thought we’d ever see again.” A voice said behind me. I turned around just in time to see two large bodies come hurling at me, wrapping me up in their arms and squishing me between them. I laughed shortly but quickly was over the unwelcomed contact, getting irrated and began pushing them off of me.

“No more y/n sandwhich!” I said facing them. 

“Aw c'mon y/n/n, you know you love it. Being between me and Russ is a fantasy of yours, we know it.” Tyler joked as he smirked at me. Roaming my eyes over their body, I couldn’t help but take in the sight in front of me. Definitely not those scrawny 17 year old boys I once knew. Fully grown men now stood in front of me with toned muscle flexing underneath their too tight of a shirt, jeans perfectly wrapped around there muscular legs. Rolling my eyes at his comment, I gave them a small smile in return trying not to crack too much and show my soft. Standing back, I began to take in the new faces around us. A few of the guys that were sitting on the couch watching everything unfold in front of them looked to be around our age while the other 3 relaxing in the floor looked to be in their late teens just like the boy I met at the door. Awkwardly standing around waiting for Ethan to return, my eeyes fell onto a specific spot of the leather couch.

"Take a load off y/n." Russ said taking his previous spot on the couch across the room. Slowly walking to the couch, I hesitantly fell back into the only familar couch that still sat against the wall. It was still in the perfect position to see the TV and best spot to get to the kitchen and bathroom. Taking a seat in the only spot where I ever sat. My spot. The left corner next to the table. Closing my eyes and letting my head fall back onto the couch, I let out a deep sigh and surprisingly allowed myslef to relax into the familiarity. I was brought back to reality from an obnoxiously loud laugh. Ethan was making his way over to me with two beers carefully hheld in his fingers. Putting out his hand for me to take one, e rose his eyebrow when I hesitantly took it from him. He sat down next to me as he laughed quietly and shook his head.

“It’s as if you never left.” He said taking a swing of his beer.

"Oh but thank god I did." I replied under my breath as I took a sip of my beer. Wincing at the strange taste I took my lips of the bottle.

“What the f-. Light beer?” I said looking over at Ethan.

"Yep. We’re trying to maintain our amazing bodies and beer doesnt really help. It was Grays idea.” Ethan said nonchalantly. Tensing up at his name I remembered the main reason I was here. I knew I was going to let myself get caught up with all the reminiscing and comfortiblilty that I would forgot the only reason I even came back here. Noticing my uncomfortably state he gave me a sympathetic look which I didn't like at all. Pushing all flashbacks and feelings away, I refocused myself. 

“Where is he E?” I asked not looking up from the spot on the floor I was staring a hole in.

“Around. He was pissed at everyone and everything earlier. Left in a rage. Wouldn't even talk to Hailey.” He said avoiding looking at me after the last sentence left his lips. 

“Hailey?” I asked looking up at him. He motioned over to the kitchen with his beer, ignoring my stare. Following the direction he motioned with, my eyes met the backside of the brunette from before. Her bootyshorts road up her ass showing alittle too much booty. 

“Figures.” I laughed as I downed my beer. Ethan laughed at my remark and silently agreed with a simple head nod. 

“But seriously Eth, where is he? I didn’t just come here to take a trip down memory lane.” I said looking at him.

"Then why are you here?” A deep voice asked from the other side of the room. Freezing up instantly at the sound of his voice, I mentally cursed at myself for letting him take my by surprise and make me feel how I was. An overly excited squeal sounded out from the kitchen followed by footsteps.

“Baby!” The brunettes, or known as Haileys voice broke out into the silence that now hung in the air. From the corner of my eye I saw him quickly dismiss her as he walked closer to us. I smirked inwardly a little but instantly dropped it to remain my neutral look. Giving myself a small pep talk, I reluctantly rotated in my spot and faced him. As soon as my eyes hit his hazel ones, I knew I was a goner. So many emotions flowed through my body at once, I didnt know which one to react with first. Neither of us said anything as we stared at eachotheer allowing the tension to grow in the air. Ethan put a reassuring hand on my thigh to help edge me on, in which Grayson quickly took noticed of right away and narrowed his eyes. Noticing the slight change in his demeanor, I pushed Ethan’s hand off of me like it was on fire. Standing up and placing my beer on the table I stood face to face with him.

“Grayson." I said emotionless as my nails dug into the palm of my hand to help me not shake. Somehow his expression hardened at the sound of his name slipping past my lips.

“Why are you here?” He asked sternly boring his eyes into me as he crossed his arms against his broad chest making his muscle’s flex. In any other moment I would of been drooling over the pure sexual power oozing from him in that tight black shirt but I knew what he was doing. He was trying to intimidate me.

"We need to talk.” I said steadily. He made no advancement to reply or pay any attention to my request. Looking to my side where Ethan sat, I gave him a look we used to share many times when Grayson was being difficult. Grayson was quick to take notice of the smiles that threaten to spread on mine and Ethans face. An animalistic like growl escaped his lips making my head snap towards him.

"Don't even." I warned. That sound was all too familiar to me from the countless fights between me and him or whenever his overprotectness would emerge.

“Excuse me?” He said harshly taking a long stride towards me. Challenging him was one thing he had always told me he admired about me but it always pissed him off none the less. When he was in arms length distance of me and made no motion to be stopping anytime soon, I extended my arm out as it collided with his hard warm chest. At the mere contact he stopped all movement.

“Let's be civil. Talk like the adults we are, or well how I am. I dont know about you.” I sassed as I removing my hand off his chest.

“Im busy.” He said coldly pushing past me. Grabbing at his bicep and turning him around to face I gave him a hard look. I heard someone intake a hard breath as they watched me man handle him.

“Grayson Bailey! If it wasn’t important I wouldn’t of dragged myself back into this shithole.” I said angrily at his childish antics which earned a couple of defensive ‘heys’ from the boys.

“Shithole? Well this 'shithole' used to be your home.” He scuffed and pulled his arm out of my grasp.

“Gray, please.” I said as it came out barely above a whisper. Looking up at him, I noticed he was already staring down at me with an unreadable expression. He narrowed his eyes at me and knitted his eyebrows together as if he was thinking. Then in a blink of an eye, wrapped his large hand around my wrist and pulled me behind him without another word. 

“But baby-” An annoying whine called out from close behind us as we walked out of the living room. Grayson stopped mid step, making me inconveniently slam into his back and instinctively wrapping my freed arm around his waist. He didnt turn around but just turned his head back slightly to look at Hailey. 

“Leave us alone. I’ll deal with you later.” He said as he contiuned to walk and head towards the stairs. Ethan was causally leaned up against the wall no doubt waiting for us when he finally spoke.

“Gray man, let’s take a second to calm down. No need to be rash.” He said calmly as he tried to reach for my wrist in Graysons grasp. Grayson pushed him back slightly as he brought me forward so my back was now securely pressed up against his chest with his arm holding me in place by my waist. As soon as Ethan took in the expression Grayson was giving him and my knowingful gaze, he lifted his hands up in surrender and backed away back into the living room. He knew how things were going to get settled between us and as soon as Grayson and I had made eye contact but he hoped it wouldn't. Ethan would never admit it but he was always proud and happy for me when I finally left because he knew I could finally be who I wanted to be and reach my full potential instead of being stuck here and never see what the world had to offer. Without warning Grayson quickly rushed up the stairs with me in his arm, almost making me fall over my own damn feet.

“Fuck Grayson, I can walk on my own!” I said pushing myself out of his grasps. He ignored my whine and walked to the far end of the hallway where his bedroom still sat. Following him towards his room, he waited for me to get inside then slammed the door shut. 

“Talk.” He said harshly as he walked into his large walkin closet, stripping himself from his shirt and throwing it a basket in the process. He walked back out a few moments later in a pair of sweats that hung low on his hips and a t-shirt thrown over his shoulder. If I say so myself he has definitely been keeping his body in check. 

“Sit.” He said pointing to his bed as he pulled on his shirt. 

“No. Do I look like a dog?” I said crossing my arms and leaning back against the door.

“Did it fucking sound like an option? And well you are a bitch.” He said as he grabbed my arm and pushed me onto his bed.

“If you keep manhandling me, I’ll swear I’ll chop of your dick Dolan.” I said glaring up at him as I sat up from my thrown position. All he did was roll his eyes and make his way over the the desk that sat in the far corner near to the window. I noticed a small digital clock that sat on the desk and it read 4:45 a.m. Letting out a breath I didn't realized I had held in, all the exhaustion I have been holding back seemed to finally release myself as I let myself fall back into the bed. 

“I said sit, not lay.” He said still facing away from me.

“Never listened to you before so why start now.” I said rolling onto my side to face his direction. He was looking at paper work that was scattered on top of the desk when he felt my gaze on him, making him twist around and looked at me. He seemed to get lost in his own thoughts as he watched me. His face seemed to soften up somewhat before it disappeared and he turned around.

“Don’t lay like that.” He said bringing his attention back to the papers in front of him.

“Lay like what? I’m literally just laying down.” I said annoyed as I sat up. 

“Like you used to when I worked. Like you belong there, in my bed.” He said as his shoulders drooped..

"But Hailey can lay in your bed because she belongs here right?” I said surprising myself at the petty jealousy that was laced in my voice. He had stopped moving as his back muscles tensed back up. 

“She doesn’t come in my room. She especially does not lay in my bed.” He replied. Feeling somewhat satisfied with his answer, I took a moment to look around the room. It was pretty much the same. All the same furniture was still there just moved around, shelves still held the same objects, clothes were still all over the floor. His bed side table still held my initials I had carved in many years ago so that any girl he brought home after me would know hes will always be mine. Reaching out to touch my engraved initials, memories of that day flowed back.

"What are you doing." Graysons voice said startling me slightly.

"Nothing." I replied as I moved my book over the small scratches.

"Baby, guilt is written all over your face." He said walking into his room and over to where I layed. Staring down at me, he tried to pick out any sign as to what I was just doing. When my eyes twitch to the left a little his gaze followed as he investigated the side table. He noticed the small curved wood scraps from when I removed them with his switch blade. Pushing the only thing on the table to the side he stared down at my initial for my first name on it.

"What were you doing?" He asked. Some anger rushed through him at the thought of you ruining his furniture but he was also very curious.

"I was engraving my initials." I said making eye contact with his beautiful hazel orbs.

"Why?" His deep voice asked.

"So that any girl you bring into your bedroom after me knows that you will always be mine." I said staring at my unfinished job. He stayed quiet after my little jealous explosion and simply grabbed his switch blade that was closed up in my hand and contiuned to carve my last names initial in right next to me first.

"No girl will ever come in here after you cause your it for me." He said leaning down and cupping my face gently in his hands. Smiling up at him, I wrapped my arm around his neck and pulled him down towards me. His soft lips met mine as a smile broke out from him.

Getting brought back from my flashback from his gaze I could feel on me as I mindlessly traced over the edged markings, I knew he felt that same way I did. Dangerous waters we were treading. The possibility of opening up wounds that have been healed up for the past four years was closer then I wanted. Sighing, I lifted myself up off the bed and walked over to where he was standing. Reaching into my pocket to grab the reason I was here, I unfolded it and layed it out infront of him. He quickly grabbed it as he read it over and spun around to face me. 

“Where did you get this.” His asked as his voice came out strained as if he was trying to hold his emotions back. 

“It was in my apartment, attached to this.” I said pulling out the picture I had in my other pocket. He grabbed the photo from my hands and stared down at it before snapping his head up to look at me.

“Im serious. Tell me where you got this y/n.” He said a little more louder this time.

“In my apartment! On my fucking cutting bored with a knife stabbed throught them." I replied annoyed. He ran his fingers through his hair and pushed past me.

“Don’t fucking play games!” He yelled as he turned to face me. His face was slightly red and his muscle’s were really protruding. 

“Play games?! Are you fucking kidding me? Do you think I would of came back here if I was 'playing games'. The last place I would ever want to be is back here with you.” I yelled at him as I clenched and unclenched my fists at my side. He seemed slightly taken back by my outburst but quickly stiffened back up as he dropped the paper and photo on the bed and walked over to his dresser. After rummaging through one of the draws, he pulled out a metal box and brought it over. Opening it up he dumped out all of the piece’s of paper that were held with in. Looking down at them, I noticed they all had the same thing written on all of them in the same hand writing.

What’s poor old Grayson Dolan without his girl? And I don’t mean that little whore you’ve been keeping around. How’s y/n? She looks good, too good. Makes me want to have her squirming underneath me as she cried out in pain.

They were all similar to the note I got. Same messy hand writing and same type of paper, but my referred to Grayson and told me things werent as they seemed also mine came along with a picture of Gray and I when we had to be around 18 years old, sitting outside on the porch with me on his lap. Honestly I didn’t know what to say. Grayson had physical hand written threats targeted against me and decide to just keep it a secret. As soon as I saw the note and pitcure at my place, I was in the car making the 3 ½ hour drive over here without thinking but he didn’t even think to even pick up the phone to tell me.

“How- how long have you had these?” I said looking at the piece’s of paper as a moment of silence fell over us.

“A couple months. I recieved some pictures too of you, they looked recent.” He said unbothered. 

“What?! A couple months? You've received threats against me for months and got pictures of me recently? Are you fucking kidding me? Did you even think to tell me or was the small brain of yours too stupid and thought ’oh I better not tell y/n cause im a selfish dumbass and only does whats best for me, fuck y/n right? Who cares what happens to her’.” I yelled at him. He stood there taking my yelling with a clenched his jaw then began putting the papers back into the box along with my note and my picture. Once everything was put away he turned to walk back to his dresser.

“Stop ignoring me! What th-” I began to yell but he interrupted me by the loud sound of him slamming the dresser draw close.

“IM NOT FUCKING IGNORING YOU! If you would shut up for just a goddamn second and let me talk then you would of found out I handled the fucking situation already!” He screamed back at me. As he took a step forward I took one back. I wasnt necessarily afraid of him but I knew he was unpredictable when he was mad.

“What do you mean took care of it? Cause from where Im standing it looks like you didnt.” I said. 

“When I said I took care of it, I took care of it.” He said walking towards his door and opening it up.

“Now get out and leave.” He spat out at me. 

“You're joking right?” I asked in disbelief. Shaking my head I stood up but didnt make a move towards the door.

“After all these years I really would of thought that ego of yours would of actually shrunk but damn was I wrong. 'I took care of it'. What type of shady crap are you back into now? Or did you never leave that part of your life behind like you always promised you would. Cause from what I remember you told me you stopped working for those guys only for me to find you beating some guy almost to death a week later over some money he owed you. Then on top of all that bullshit I found out you had your own little gang and BROUGHT ETHAN INTO IT! And we all know how that ended, don’t we Grayson.” I said as anger rose in me. He looked over at me from the spot on the wall hes been staring at and I could of sworn his eyes darkened. 

"You're the one who left. You walked away. I was done with all of that shit then you left.” He said dangerously low as he stalked towards me.

“And why do you think I left? Huh? Maybe cause I was tired of you lying to me, coming back home at ungodly times of the night, bruises all over, money just coming in from nowhere, PEOPLE TRYING TO GET TO YOU THROUGH ME. The list goes on and on! Remember Marcus? What happened there? Who’s fault was that? Who’s fault was it when I was in the hospital for three goddamn days because of a fucking gun shot wound? Huh? I was FUCKING 17 FOR CRYING OUT LOUD! I missed most of my stupid senior year because of you. I didn’t go to prom because of you! Couldn’t go to graduation! I almost didnt get the chance TO GO FUCKING COLLEGE BECAUSE OF YOU! My own parents basically disowned me when they found out I got pregant with your baby only to have that fucking miscarriage. I gave up my entire life for you. So dont you fucking stand there trying to acting all innocent and try to blame anything on me. I left because loving you was the DUMBEST DECISION I had ever made!” I yelled. I didnt even notice the tears that were falling down my face until my eyes became so blurry I couldn’t see. I reluctantly let out a loud whimper as a pair of arms wrapped around me and held me against its chest.

“No! Get away from me. I hate you! I hate you.” I said as I punched at his chest and tried to get away. Memories I hadn’t thought about in years kept flooding my mind as I cried hysterically into Graysons chest. The whole house stood quiet expect for my loud uncontrollable sobs. I had soon forgotten that the door was wide open and that everyone obviously had to of heard everything, which made me cry even more. Soon later my sobs quiet down and the tears dried up but my body was drained emotionally and physically. I felt Graysons grasp loosen slightly on me but still held me close as he gently removed my jacket. In one swift motion he had me up in his arms then placed me gently into the middle of his bed. Removing my boots, he pulled up the blanket that was draped messily on his bed and placed it comfortably on top of me. When he was about to pull away, something in me reached out to grab his arm and pull him slightly towards me. He pulled away lightly to much of my dismay as he walked away and closed the door. I thought he had left but soon the lights were shut off and the corner of the blanket lifted up from behind me. Once he was settled in and somewhat relaxed I scooted back trying to get some sort of body contact I was craving at the moment. To my surprise he was on his side facing me so that when I wiggled back his chest was pressed up against my back. He stiffened up at the contact and didnt dare move so I reached behind me, grabbing at his free arm and wrapped it around me. He quickly relax into my touch and tightened his grip around me bringing me close to him. 

"Gray..” I whispered as my eyes stung from the tears forming again. He quietly hushed me and kissed the top of my head as he pulling me closer into him. Silent tears rolled down my cheeks and from the wetness on the back of my neck and uneven breathing in my ear. I could tell he was crying as well. 

“I’m sorry.” He said softly and he hugged me closer soon lulling us both to sleep.

[murlinxmaverick]

Stage 2

stage two: moving past that second barrier. I can’t tell you why I go through so many lenghts to hold myself back. my day was successful. I woke up, brushed my teeth, ate food, helped Nani (kinda), showered, picked up your spare key and did your oil change on the accord. pretty successful in my opinion. yeah there were a couple of things that made it a bit challenging but I didnt let them stop me. I was angry with father because I couldnt find some of his tools but thats why I should have my own. So that I don’t need to rely on anyone else. Yesterday was a successful day. Now is stage two: where we move past this mental block and move forward. stop placing mental barriers on yourself. be crazy and remember only crazy can stop crazy. let your wildest thoughts run wild. like wild buffalo in the open plains. My horizon is filled with beautiul mountains and i want to explore them. i want to take shrooms and see and the beautiful colors that nature will show me. but i need to first take great care of myeyes and my entire body so that i can do this for as long as I can. be patient and understand that tihings take time. Think of the relationships you want to have with people you want in your life and think ways to make that happen. smoke with dad and explain this to his. maybe he will understand that he is the cause of his missfortine. and help mom feel sexy, tell her to tell dad that she will suck his dick if he cleans up both his act and body. i bet their sex would be great if they would do it for eachother.

The plan for today is to go thrifting for tv stand and two seater couch. maybe send my phone to go get fixed. order things online and maybe. think of ways to restore dads old steering wheel for the accord. maybe look at seats for the car. idk. something.

Kelly: I found the birthday letter/sign you made for me last year and I wanted to thankyou for your kind words. I dont think you will love me forever but I think I know what you meant. I had been thinking of reaching out and i was holding myself back because when id think of you, i would usually be horny. i first thought was that i simply wanted to just sleep with you again and thats the only reason why i wanted to see you. I held myself back because i thought i was only going to hurt you again simly because i wanted to have sex. I thought of you when i was eroused because i think you are hot. i thought of ways i wanted to pleasure you, some of which we have tried in the past, and I wanted to do them again. we would both really enjoy that. I still do. I felt like such an ass hole because i didnt want to simply use you for sex. thats how it felt at first. But I also thought of contacting you to thank you for the letter as soon as I finished rereading it. instantly after I held myself back from doing so beacuse I knew I’d want to ask if you would like the letter back just so I could see you again. I know I would want to sleep with you just like I did the last time we saw eachother But i realized that i am not ready either, I said I would let you know when I would be ready to start this relationship again and i am showing sign that i am still interested by thinking of you when i am horny but i as think of you when Think of this short film and animation goal i have for myself. the truth is im not ready to be in any relationship and im afraid that when i am ready, im not going to wantto be with you. Id want to be with someone like https://l.instagram.com/?u=https%3A%2F%2Flinktr.ee%2FMoshhbby&e=ATP3kvAyBm30fF_Sd6iUH1BhbA2AU6vgMw9ngot01TgKoJNJ8g2rOcEVr2s44E_qYC0w-ezV70XoHEElTH1RlQ&s=1 I want to be with this girl sooo bad. but fuck do i wanna fuck you again.

think of your steering wheel. you want it to look nice. and all you need to do is fix it yourself. that way its exactly how you want it. same concept of making your life a better life yourself bc no one else will. sew swade to shrink wrap and glue it to the padded area of the steeringwheel. grey maybe or black. i realy want this car to look dope sogo outh there and steal ideas if you have to but make this car looko dope. make it look like a spaceship or make it look like a NSX

Older brother slams the door open

“ bro im high as fuck.”

 “why were you choking yourself”

“I wasn’t but it felt good to scratch. i feel like i’m cracked. like i get why they scratch. BHut my thoughts feel clear this way. like i can slow them down and read them. being sober makes it feel like all the creative ideas i get in a day happen so fast that it gets hard to seen like a fuzz, staticy T.V. screen. I want this feeling to be perminant. I could do anything like this.”

“I didnt know you smoked”

“i dont, well i didnt. Its my first time”

while talking he checks his phone to look at the time and sees that apps are updating. he looks at the time.

the shot moves back to the brother and in the background you can see that the time says its 3:1d(this gets used for a future sceen.) the briother looks concerned  but also ready to laugh at his brother with releif and sadness.

(in future sceen, character guessed an upload or update would happen at 3:14 am and when asked how he knew that he replys with “I guessed”)

“I got the munchies, and everytime i put different in my mouith, it feels like Iget a knew idea. like the properties in the food affect my thioughts. kinda like the concept of unheathy foods case unheathy thoughts which lead to unhealthy habits and actions. idk food for thought”

“What”

Mountains by Hans Zimmer playinmg in the background

”what a fucking great song

Make a bracelet out of those little strings that amelia uses for her $knot bracelets, use the magnets thats bounce off eacthother and make the noise as the ends. or maybe use those knots for the steering wheel

[authorofdanger]

Please Want Me (Part 3 of Snowy Nights)

*Warnings: really rude people and kidnapping.

*Angst.

Female cat hybrid reader, BTS, TXT.

Today was the day, fan meet day! The breakroom was filled with excitement from both groups and I as we adjusted our outfits. Both groups were dressed drastically different as the elder group wore nice button ups and ripped black jeans to match while the youngers wore bright hoodies and neat and clean blue jeans. I was dressed to kind of blend with both with a cute pink blouse, a black shirt, some pink sneakers, my black collar, and a small pink bow tied to my tail. This fan meet was going to be different than most and was going to be more of a performance and question time for the fans. I was to go onstage for TXT's cat and dog, for obvious reasons, and for BTS' Home, then the questionnaire. One of the workers helped me into a mic set and explained that I was to stay either on stage or back stage at all times and to let the boys do the talking unless I was specifically asked a question. Simple enough for me.

The crowd was loud when the youngers went out first to perform Crown but when the tune of Cat and Dog came on and I leaped onto the stage and danced with the boys and added my voice into the chorus I could have sworn my ears were bleeding from the cheers. It wasn't much longer until I joined BTS on stage and received the same reaction. This to me was a piece of cake and was even enjoyable to the point to where I could see why the boys put so much effort into it. Then came the questionnaire.

The first few questions were ones we had expected like how everyone got along, opposite group bias, and so on. Then things got a little personal when I began getting specific questions. "So do you do special favors for your owners?" Which no, I didn't. The boys respected me enough as a human to not use me in such a way and I was blessed for that alone. "We do not believe in using Y/N for our own selfish gain. Next question," Namjoon answered for me. "So who specifically owns you?" I looked around nervously to see if that was something I could answer but Soobin simply said "we cant say anything about that unfortunately." Then the last question hit me like a ton of bricks. "How much are you willing to sell her for?" My heart dropped to the floor. Would they sell me? I should know the answer is no but with the life I have had so far I can never be certain. I looked dead into both of the leaders eyes, pleading that they would give me the answer I prayed for. "No," Yoongi sighed, "now please be respectful towards Y/N and stop treating her as an object. We all love her as she is now family to us and would like army and TXT fans alike to atleast respect that." My nerves lightened after that but I still caught myself wrapping my tail around Soobin's hand that rested on his leg under the table.

"I cant believe that just happened," Jungkook groaned while pinching the bridge of his nose. With all of us relaxing in one hotel room for the moment the ranting of today's questions ran throughout the cramped space. "Its ridiculous," Beomgyu chimed in, "she is human too! Why cant they see that?" I laid silently between Kai and Jimin as they soothingly petted my ears and tails to stop the agitated twitching and flicking. If they thought they were upset well they would be shocked to hear what I had to say! But I only decided to keep those thoughts to myself as to not disrespect the fans that love and adore the boys as I do. "Well I'm going to go have a vlive in my room to get my mind off of this," Jin sighed before he got up from the other bed. "Can I come Jinnie," I asked quietly, "I wont get in frame and I will be quiet but I want a distraction too?" He gave me a small smile and held out his hand. I pulled myself from between the two boys and ran to his side to intertwine our fingers.

The way he talked to army was so caring and sweet but he also was funny with the jokes and random things he would do. I watched from the chair in the corner of the room by the heater while he rested on his bed with the camera nice and set up, replying to as many comments as he could but struggled with the English ones. I had my phone on silent and had the vlive pulled up so I could see the comments that he struggled with and held back laughes when he tried to say things in English every once and a while to prove that he really was learning. Something nobody knew was that I was fluent in both english and Japanese as well from a few of the shelter I have been to and a few of the owners I was with for short periods. It was a skill I decided to keep hidden until absolutely neccessary. The boys did always warn me about reading comments though and the ones Jin couldnt understand was probably for the best at this moment. 'When are you going to get rid of that cat?' 'She is beginning to hold you back.' 'You should get a nice hybrid like a bunny or something.' 'I bet she was a stray. Who would want that thing anyways?' I felt sick as I continued to read. I glanced up at Jin who didnt even seem to notice the comments on the screen as they weren't in hangul and were moving too fast for him to study anyways. My ears fell flat against my scalp and tears welled up in my eyes when I finally read 'I bet when this topic blows over they will either sell her or euthanize her.' Already have been threatened with euthanization before I didnt want to even play with that thought. The boys wouldn't do that to me right? My lungs felt constricted, I needed air! So as quietly as I possibly could I slipped out of the bedroom and went to the front of the hotel to get in a few breaths of fresh air to clear my mind.

Well that's what I had hoped to do but as soon as I stepped out of the hotel a group of girls had swarmed me and grabbed me in a flash and pulled something to my face. "We got her," one said as i faded in and out of conciousness, "we got the BigHit kitten!"

[pdanno]

Jess and Rocky

writing assignment for school- needed 1 dynamic character, 1 static, at least. Set in the distant future. 

Jess always taught Rocky it’s not okay to hurt people, because they’re just people in bad spots. Sometimes, Rocky wonders if Jess is right.

She can tell, even if Jess tried to hide it, that they’re definitely in a bad spot. Still, she knows that the two of them have it better than a lot of people. A tiny, tiny apartment that Jess somehow got. It’s better than the streets. Without Jess, Rocky would probably be dead by now, and Jess is like a sibling. Given, a sibling that is very fond of being a helicopter parent.

Rocky sat up in her pallet, yawning quietly so as not to wake Jess up. They must’ve been out late last night. They’ve been doing that a lot ever since they got the apartment, and Rocky always figures that they’re doing some kind of late night work to pay for it. It exhausts them though, and she worries. Regardless, Rocky steels herself. No food in the pantry for lunch, but she brushes out her short hair and starts out for school. It was a dinky little place, looked like it was made out of scraps compared to the shiny polish of the skyscrapers. The white streets were more of an ash gray around here, and there was still the acrid smell of chemicals and fossil fuels despite them being (technically) banned/depleted for years. If it were up to Rocky, she’d go to work to help get money so eventually the two of them could move out of the neighborhood. But Jess was adamant. No working. Jess wants Rocky to have an education. Even if its an education from a poorly funded school, with teachers who probably don’t have degrees.

Aside from that, work is dangerous. It’s pretty easy to get sick or hurt in the slums, and doctors are so expensive you’d be paying for the treatment for ages. Once, Rocky got real sick. Jess panicked and took her to a doctor. The check up alone took a year to pay off, nearly another for the antibiotics. In the end, Rocky was alright but both kids were far more wary about going to a doctor.

So, Rocky went to school. In some classes, she was the only student. There were maybe 3 teachers, and all looked only marginally better than Rocky felt. She pushed through it, and she walked quickly home at the end of the day, averting her eyes from dark alleyways, and sticking to the LED lit paths home.

“Payment. Before the end of the week, Jess. You don’t work this out, and everything’s done. “

“I-“

“I don’t give a flying rats ass about anything, no excuses. I get my payment. One way or another.”

Rocky hesitated at the rickety door leading into the one room apartment. She’d never heard the mans’ voice before, and it sounded angry. Rough.

“Jess?” She called out quietly, before pushing the door open with a grating screech.

“Rocks! M- I hope school went well!” Jess looked away from a tall man. He was in a clean suit with crisp white cuffs, and he looked out of place. Jess’ eyes were just a touch too big,  their expression strained.

“Who’s this? Rocks?” The man turned, his expression cold and unreadable.

“It’s Rochelle, uh, sir.” Rocky shifted her feet, looking back and forth between the tall man and Jess.

The man offered a warm smile, his stance changing from hostile to friendly in an instant. “Well, hello there Rochelle. It’s nice to meet you. Is Mx. Jess your friend?”

The smile didn’t reach his eyes.

Rocky gathered herself and took a breath before smiling brightly. “It’s nice to meet you too!  Yeah, Jess is real nice and all, they’re my friend. What’s your name?” Her smile was unsteady, and her voice cracked mid sentence, but she kept her expression impressively consistent.

“Mr. Lawrence works just fine. Now, I think my business here has concluded, Mx. Jess, Miss. Rochelle, I hope you have a fine afternoon.” Mr. Lawrence adjusted his cufflinks, and strode out the door. As the screeching stopped and the door clicked shut, both Jess and Rocky deflated.

“Don’t worry ‘bout him, kay Rocks? Just a grumpy old landlord,” Jess attempted to console Rocky who despite her good show earlier, was shaking slightly. She didn't entirely know why. “Now. Got any homework?” Rocky nodded, glad for the distraction. “Here, I’ll help.”

Rocky pulled on her messenger bag, tugging it onto the top of the cheap table in the middle of the room. She took out a small rectangle, pulling the sides out and laying it on the table to reveal a blue screen. The black edges of it were worn and scratched, with the words “Property of District 504” written into the side. Both Rocky and Jess sat at their table, with Jess helping sounding out unfamiliar words and math problems. Before long, the only light in the room was from the screen and a rainbow of neon filtering through the blinds on the window.

——

Rocky rolled over in her pallet. “..Jess?”

“Yeah?” Rocky could just make out Jess’ silhouette, bending over to tie their boots up.

“Can you tell me a story?” She was having trouble sleeping. Stories always calmed her, distracted her and let her fall asleep and forget everything. Jess sighed.

“Sure, sweetie. Wanna hear ‘bout some princesses? Gotta make it a short one, work starts in just a bit.” Jess glanced at the clock at the same time as Rocky. It was 1 AM.

“Princesses work,” Rocky declared, swaddling herself in her thin blanket.

And so, Jess spun a tale, of princesses living in luxury. Their father was a kind man, until he died and the kingdom fell into despair. After the Queen died as well, their stepfather took over as regent, and the girls escaped to a magical place, where they could spend ages in, talking and laughing and enjoying themselves. They always had to return to their stepfather though, who was cruel and unforgiving. One day, the eldest princess hatched a plan. Eventually, through determination, she overthrew the man, and became Queen. The kingdom was happy again, and the princesses could live happily ever after.

By the end of the story, Rocky had quietly dozed off. Jess sighed again, rubbing their eyes. They were so tired. But Rocky deserves better than this dump, and so do they. So, Jess picked themselves up, made sure Rocky was properly tucked in, and opened their door as quietly as possible. They were lucky Rocky was a heavy sleeper.

——

Rocky woke up, feeling groggy. Looking over to where Jess usually sleeps, their bed was neatly made but empty. She drew her eyebrows together, but went about her normal morning routine. Maybe Jess got held up? ‘By what?’ she asked herself, worried. She decided, it would be better to just wait. All the same, on her way to school, she looked around a far bit more than usual. She was so distracted that she ran into a muddy puddle accidentally, and cursed quietly under her breath. Rocky looked up sharply, a habit. If Jess was near, they’d have reprimanded her. She was too young to swear and such. Rocky rolled her eyes even thinking about it, though it made her smile.

She continued on. Going home wouldn’t do any good, these were her only pants.

——

Halfway to school, Rocky heard an unusual sound coming from the nearby alleyway, and despite her instincts, she glanced in and gasped. There were people with gang tattoos on their upper arms, surrounding someone. It looked like it’d been going on for a while, because a few of ‘em were on the ground, knocked out. Whoever was in the middle was definitely holding their own, from the sound of it. Despite herself, Rocky hung near, fixated. She hid behind the wall to the alleyway, only her head visible.

“You-“ Someone made a low, guttural sound. They’d gotten hit. “Need-“ Another. “To get OUT.”

Rocky recognized the voice “Jess!” She blindly rushed into the alleyway, holding her bag with white knuckles, but she tripped on something, falling down the the ground.

“No-no! Rocky-“ Jess was shouting now. Rocky couldnt see them, but their voice went from angry to panicked in a heartbeat.  There was another big grunt, and Rocky heard someone hit the ground, hard. One of the gang members laughed, and Rocky heard their boots scuff the ground before it found its place and someone gasped for breath.

Finally getting the strength to try to get up, Rocky struggled to her elbows, her feet scraping at the ground trying to catch up

“Stay down.” Rocky heard another familiar voice, but was too panicked to place it. She winced, falling back down and shivering. She waited. And waited. She could hear that they were all gone, but... Her eyes were glued shut, she didn’t want to look. She couldn’t. When she finally got enough willpower to open her eyes, she shakily got to her feet and felt the sting of cuts on her elbows and knees.

Jess was on the ground, curled in the fetal position. Their knuckles looked swollen and red, and their nose was broken badly. “Jess!”

“Rocky.” Jess coughed, and struggled to get air. “I’m sorry, I just wanted to protect you, I’m sorry, I’m so sorry, Rocky.”  

Jess always told Rocky it’s not okay to hurt people. Sometimes, Rocky still believes them.

[bmyselfandi-blog]

mom

there was a time in my life where the hardest thing i was going through was a high school breakup. i thought the world was ending, that id never experience a worse heartbreak than that one. i got over it and went back to the guy a few times. it was on and off. that was the beginning of my junior year, around september. come april 21st i received the worst news i could have handled at the time. my mom was diagnosed with cancer. now she never really told us, well at least me, she never told me the stage of the cancer. but it was rectal. they tell you not to look up that kind of shit because it will scare you but me, i dont listen when told not to do something. now, i probably should have, it scared me what i found, but also gave me hope. it said curable. they said long life span. so, in my mind it was all going to be okay. my dad took it very hard. i poften found him crying alone, and i cried too. we all did. my mom was the type of person to help anyone in need, she was amazing, loving, wonderful, generous, warm, any fucking word to describe an angel, that was fucking her. still is. anyways fast forward about a year, end of my senior year. i start dating this new guy, hes amazing, he gave me the world. i couldnt have asked for a better man. stuck by my side through some fucked up shit that was my fault. we had our fights, like every couple. he did some things that i didnt like but i pushed past it because i loved him. thats what couples do right? well, not even a year later i spent less time with my family, more time with him and his. i regret that every day of my life. ill never forget the first day of my new job my dad made me cry because he told me my mom thought id rather spend time with my boyfriends mom than her. i balled my eyes out on my way to work. i never wanted to hurt my moms feelings like that. she couldnt do much, she was weak and it was getting harder for her to do everyday things. that was november. come march 25. it was a saturday. my mom was sitting in her spot on the couch and my dad was downstairs on the computer. i dont remember my sister being home. my mom asked me to look at her eyes and tell me what color the whites were, they were yellow. that meant jaundice. i told my dad, we told her she needed to go to the hospital. she said she didnt feel well and didnt want to go that day and if she wasnt feeling any better shed go the next day. i didnt think too much about it, this wouldnt be the first hospital trip that month or let alone that year. sunday; i went to my boyfriends to hangout and have dinner. after dinner my dad told and said they were going to the hospital. we then drove up to meet them. they took my mom in the back, i went back with her as did everyone else. the crazy thing is, is i dont remember all too much. i remember being back h=there, them asking her certain questions that made me sad, like if she was sad, depressed, thinking about dying. i brought her up some things when we went, i had this pair of ankle fuzzy sicks that i gave to her, she asked me to put them on her feet, i remember there being a hole in the big toe, she thought it was funny. it got later, they ended up admitting her but were trying to find a room. my dad had to work the next morning and i hadnt started my new job so i told him i would stay with her that night so she wasnt alone. they had a room in the pediatric ward so they sent us up. there were two cribs, a bed and a couple chairs in the room. i slept in the chair that turned into a bed. the nurses were very nice. we got some rest after being moved up there. it was very late, almost 4am. the next morning my uncle was up there and my dad came soon after as well. days went by, i started my new job, id go up as soon as i got off to go and see her. she got worse each day but we didnt think anything of it. turns out the tumor was actually starting to quickly crush her liver. she started not being able to talk well. they eventually put her on a heavy breathing treatment. she stopped talking and responding. my dad asked a timeline and the doctor said he didnt like to put timelines. i thought she would get better. they had my dad sign a DNR, we werent going to make her suffer if she didnt have to. it was selfish of us to want her to stay with how much pain i knew she was in. we had family up there always. april 4th. it was a wednesday. by now they had put my mom into hospice care, we had the option of bringing her home but we didnt want to make her uncomfortable by moving her. they gave us the whole room we were in. 315 bed B. we had people come and talk to us about urns and getting things like that. a hospice worker told us that their phone line was always available to talk on, whether it was a week later or a year later. i didnt have workbthat day. i went up to the hospital early. my moms cousin Colleen was there. my boyfriend came up as well. my dad my sister and her cousin kim came up as well. we hung out all day. i told colleen i probably wouldnt end up going to this festival i had in may because i wanted to be there everyday for my mom. colleen said that was almost 2 months away and that my mom may not be here by then. i didnt want to think about that. my mom would always be here right? that night me and my boyfriend ordered chinese. we were going to pick it up but they had delivery. we were also supposed to go to the store but we decided not to for some reason i dont remember. we ate our nasty chinese food. i got shrimp and lobster sauce, my moms favorite. we were all sitting aruond talking. my dad had ran home to let the dogs out since no one had been home in a while. anytime he would leave the room for anything longer than a half hour he would hug my mom and tell her to wait for him. he left. he got to the house. he let the dogs house. we were sitting there when my boyfriend looked over at my mom. her eyes were open. they hadnt been open in days. we instantly went over to her. her cousin got the nurse. me and my sister held her hand. i called my dad crying. all i could muster out was the word “hurry” and the pain in his voice when he said “okay” was enough to break anyones heart. the nurses knew. we all knew. i held my moms hand crying. my boyfriend rubbed my back. i told her i loved her. my sister told her she loved her. kim consoled her. we knew her fight was over. kim closed my moms eyes and like that she was gone. it was 10:15. we had to wait for a doctor to pronounce time of death. time of death was 10:25. my dad got there, tears in his eyes. we called family to tell them. his best friend was up in a heartbeat. his brother came up. i called my best friends. sarah and her boyfriend were up within minutes. my boyfriend held me. everyone cried. my dad hugged me and my sister so tight. the nurses were wonderful and sweet. it was probably 3 something in the morning when we left. i said my final goodbyes and told her i loved her. how could i just leave my mom in this room all alone? i couldnt handle it. i drove home with my boyfriend and let my dad drive alone. i dont know why i did that. i should have went with him. we got home and i couldnt tell you anything after that. i dont remember much about the days that followed. i know the next day we had to make phone calls to change things into our names and take my moms off. we received lots of “im so sorry for you loss”’s. it got sickening. we got flowers, cards, food. my boyfriends family was so helpful. i took that friday off of work and went back monday. got a lot of sorrys there too. her memorial was friday the 13th. i worked that morning. i shouldnt have but i had to go on like normal. how do you just go on like normal? how do you just up and live without your best friend, your fucking mother? she was supposed to be there through everything. she was supposed to live a long happy life with my dad. she was supposed to watch me get married and watch my have her grandchildren. she was supposed to be free of cancer and get better and live happy and healthy. she wasnt supposed to die. she should still fucking be here today. but shes not. months later, not even a year. my boyfriend and i broke up. just shy of a year since her passing, march 2nd. my friend and i had a run in with my ex. she flipped him off while we were driving. he followed us to the gas station and cussed us out. later that night he posted a story on his snapchat. black screen with the words “ your mother would be ashamed of you” written on it. directed towards me. how dare he say that shit. how could the same man that held me while i held my dying mothers hand say some dumb fucking shit like that to me? i dont quite get how he could ever in a million years say that shit. she was liuke amother to him. he was there through everything we dealt with, all the grieving, the sadness and depression in my house. but what bothers me is how a few months later we were getting back together. and how i could forgive him for saying that. i never did forgive him and i dont think i ever will. he said he posted it to hurt me because he was hurt. but how could he stoop that low. later on he brought her up again when he wanted me to stop smoking. “ how would mom feel” i tried kicking him out, ive never yelled at him before until that night, i got in his face and screamed not to talk about my dead mom. he didnt again. we stopped talking about a month later and havent talked since. he never understood what i was going through. what i am going through. i cry a lot. i miss my mom everyday. i think about her every hour of the day. my dad texts her almost every day. he posts on her facebook sometimes. i text her sometimes. i call too to see if someone new has her number. its still disconnected. i dont want someone new to have her number. thats her fucking number. no one elses. i still dont feel like this is all real and here its been a year and a half. christmas is coming up. her birthday is christmas eve. it was her favorite time of the year. we held the party at our house very year for anyone who wanted to come. it was always a full house. everyone loved my mom, she was an amazing person. a family friends words describing my mother to someone were “she had to adjust her halo when walking into a room” and thats always been true. even now, im sure she visits often. i wish so bad that she could be here, that she could see how everything is going. i miss her so fucking much and i just want my fucking mom back. i know everything in life would be okay if she was here. i know it would solve every problem me and my family have if she was just fucking here. she should be here. she should fucking be here right now.