#i took pics of him in the character creator but once i figure out photo mode its over for my hard drive

[runthelongkon]

i booted up ffxiv for the first time yesterday and made a guy i immediately fell in love with.

tried my hand at drawing him, gotta make some color tweaks i think lol

[lordofsunshadowandsailor]

story replies

my-simension replied to your photo “lordofsunshadowandsailor: The recent freedom of spending his days on…”

Great pic, the room looks real!

It almost felt real when I was taking the pics… I could feel the steam coming from the showers, and the smell of their sweaty clothes impregnated with chlorine from the swimming pool, and humidity on old wood and papers, rusty metals and greasy wall tiles… Still, none of this gets into the text, for it is more about Tobio and his struggles than the sites where his struggles happen…

my-simension replied to your photo “lordofsunshadowandsailor: Tobio, brought up in the fear of God,…”

I love that towel around his hip OO

the towel is @venusprincess-simblr and it can be found HERE

declarations-of-drama replied to your photo “And from the top of the wall – tall like no other building he ever saw...”

Oh!!! Time to make a coffee and kick back with your story :D

Love this image... It feels like you actually have a book of mine in your hands... Maybe someday :)

simblu replied to your photo “In his dream, recurring dream, one which follows him from the first...”

Ah..so beautiful

Thank you dear!

declarations-of-drama replied to your photo “In his dream, recurring dream, one which follows him from the first...”

This is Alvar?

Nevermind - I misunderstood the first sentence.

Interestingly, I have rewritten this sentence a few times, and alternated Tobio’s name in each one of the three available positions... Maybe my choice did not leave it clear from the start who the dream belongs to, and who it is about...

simblu replied to your photoset “Like a sleepwalker, up and down massive dunes he travels across the...”

You know, I realize, only because you've told us, that English is not your native language..but one would NEVER know this from the masterfully poetic way you write this story.

Thank you dear. But I guess I’ll always feel insecure in English. I have no intimacy with the language, and I know it. But I guess I feel insecure about my writing even in my own idiom, and I guess that is a writer’s thing -- and a good thing too, as long it feels challenging and doesn’t keep one from writing!

simblu replied to your photoset “Like a sleepwalker, up and down massive dunes he travels across the...”

also, if I may be stoopid..this is post #69 for your story..i think certain of your readers..not me..were expecting something "commemorative" of this number.

This is the second #69 of this story, since I restart from #00 with every new chapter. But I do understand you, since we left Alvar and Tobio making out at #66, and declarations-of-drama raised the expectations about post #69... I wasn’t going to make Tobio’s dream last so long, be just a few pictures in the update of their encounter, but you know me... The pictures from the desert sequence looked nice, and I love going into the inner world of my characters more than anything, and we’ve seen the result here. 

We’ll have something sexier now, but an actual 69 was never intended for Tobio and Alvar! But there will be other #69 posts along the story, and who knows what might happen with other characters?

declarations-of-drama replied to your photoset “Like a sleepwalker, up and down massive dunes he travels across the...”

Yeah a great interpretation of a dream. Lovely work x

declarations-of-drama replied to your photo “And yet, in his dream, recurring dream, Tobio keeps walking like a...”

This needs somebody to do a dream reading :d

This is Tobio tentatively applying  Dr. Freud’s revolutionary techniques of interpretation of dreams, that he has just read about, to try to understand and reveal his unconscious desires and thoughts... But I know even less than Tobio, so let’s wait for his own conclusions...

declarations-of-drama replied to your photo “Scattered in this desert of his lay several ruins, of houses he...”

Poor tormented Tobi

I agree. And since part of his experience is based on my own feelings, in a certain time of great torment in my own life, I totally empathize with him.

omgdoubleume replied to your photo “With years of dreaming, the parched landscape of his desert  – and the...”

Aww.. I love this part

And to think this part was never planned to happen! I was going to share Tobio’s dream in a paragraph, and the picture would be of Tobio and Alvar making out... But I decided to try photographing his dream, and this was the outcome. I’m happy that you like it!

declarations-of-drama replied to your photo “With years of dreaming, the parched landscape of his desert  – and the...”

Sadist Hosts! Wow, amazing writing techniques here x

Tobio is a hostage of his own destructive feelings :(

declarations-of-drama replied to your photo “Until one day – for it is constantly daytime in his dream – for the...”

Until he could go on no longer. . . The wall represents the edge of his universe - it stops him from escaping the desert?

Truth is... I visualized Tobio’s dream, and then, with TS3 elements,  just took some screenshots of it, with the poses and CC I had already installed... 

But I must say I am not sure what these symbolic things mean. Is it too crazy to say I just wrote it down? Almost as words were being dictated? And somethings I can’t interpret or clarify since they are not clear for Tobio himself... I don’t feel like the almighty creator when I write, but much more like a vehicle to the story... I am Tobio in this scene, and his confusion is, to some extent, mine too. 

So as a reader you can interpret it as you like, and it will be correct, too!

simblu replied to your photo “It was then, for a while, that he started going to bed actually...”

Wondering if you have ever engaged in lucid dreaming....where one learns to control dream scenarios while still immersed in them. This sounds like that may be happening with the new start point of the dream.

Have you? I did some Dream Yoga -- and Goggle tells me “Tibetan Dream Yoga is the original form of lucid dreaming documented for at least 1,000 years.” So I guess I did... But Tibetan is not the form of Buddhism which I used to practice -- Zen was --, and it did not last longer than a retreat I took with a Tibetan master... 

It’s interesting that you have mentioned it, for I intend to get Alvar involved with Tibetan Buddhism -- I have already mentioned it en passant, the period of time he spent in Sikkim --, but not Tobio, so maybe I’m mixing things in this dream?

declarations-of-drama replied to your photo “It was then, for a while, that he started going to bed actually...”

*passes a rope*

Love that  :D  But as you have already seen, there was a much easier way up reserved for Tobio...

simblu replied to your photo “Impassable it appears to be, as he stands paralyzed at its bottom. ...”

Reminiscent of a de Chirico..those colors, the lone figure..

You’re very right and that’s a lovely association, though I didn’t think of his paintings while creating this scene... For LoSSS, I’m taking many references from cinema, and I was thinking a bit of Bertolucci’s The Sheltering Sky, and the wonderful plateau scene with Kitty and Port... Have you watched it? I’m even listening to Sakamoto’s soundtrack in my mind right now!

declarations-of-drama replied to your photo “Until the day – several instances of his recurring dream further on –...”

This actually gave me Goosebumps when I realised the picture! Wow! x

So much wonderful CC enabling us to create these scenes, isn’t it?!

simblu replied to your photo “A dam. <   previous        next  >”

Sorry, the first thing i thought was "oh Damn!"

And I always have to think which is which before I write any of those words down :)

declarations-of-drama replied to your photo “A dam. <   previous        next  >”

Oh!! How symbolically perfect for Tobi!!! I love where this is going x

This scene is vaguely based on a dream I have actually dreamed, but that I still haven’t used in my fiction, so I won’t share it yet... I’m so glad you like it!

danjaley replied to your photo “Looking back from the top of the thick wall on which he stands, Tobio...”

I love this picture - I can almost feel the wind and the sunshine and the rustling of feathers.

I love this picture too -- in fact, for once I am satisfied -- with most of this whole sequence! Those are lovely sensations you describe, thanks for sharing it!

declarations-of-drama replied to your photo “Looking back from the top of the thick wall on which he stands, Tobio...”

How does this dream equate to his personal life? I am guessing that his recent activity with Alvar has shown him a keyhole peep to his passions behind his shame? A huge ocean of desires he has to constantly hold back?

I have brought this dream of Tobio’s into the text in the moment of his making out with Alvar -- but he has been dreaming it since adolescence, and his “activity” with Alvar is just too recent -- in fictional terms, it is currently going on, still -- to bear any influence of that yet... In the next sequence I’ll try to link both things and tenses, though.

An interpretation to it has been provided by @willky12, and I could have not said it any better: “Recurring dreams on deserts and walking through endless desert represents torment and struggle in ones self. Finding the ocean or a body of water represents a relief, a change for the better, or an awakening within. All this is very true of Tobio and fit perfectly with the story.”

Like I said above, I have just written this passage, and probably many readers are better skilled to interpret and understand it,  a whole lot more than myself!

simblu replied to your photo “Water with no end. Above it hovers restlessly the quaintest legion of...”

When you referenced the Duino Elegies (#1) a few days back, I wondered how that would work into your story..

In the end, I did not include any mention on Rilke in the text, for I thought it did not suit Tobio, who is not into Literature at all. I think of him as a techinical and yet practical person, and that reflects on his choice of readings. 

But that first sentence from the first Elegy has stayed with me from the first time I read it -- for it was so meaningful to me, translating into lyrical words my own moments of desperation -- and it was the inspiration for the visual rendition of this part of Tobio’s dream.

omgdoubleume replied to your photo “Water with no end. Above it hovers restlessly the quaintest legion of...”

Soo.. it's an angle.. of desire :3 umm~ I was wrong everyone

There is no absolute right or wrong, dear! Tobio sees them as Angels of Desire, but also as warriors... So you might see them as you like, and bring a new interpretation to my text. 

I don’t pretend to consciously know everything about my characters, and have the final word on any of them!

declarations-of-drama replied to your photo “Water with no end. Above it hovers restlessly the quaintest legion of...”

OMG! Perfection! DEADLY PERFECTION! But I would have to take the risk and go up to that main Angel in the front and ask about those AWESOME PANTS HE HAS ON and where I can download such a BULGE!!! :D

Deadly perfection is a term Tobio could use, too! 

The angels are using Lady FrontBum’s Metallic Swimsuit, and though it is bulgy enough, it can always be improved with Photoshop, I guess (actually, the intention in editing is to give them a little variation, and not necessarily increase their size)

simblu replied to your photoset“Without being noticed by them, who are absent-mindedly engaged in...”

Marvelous...

Marvelous is getting so many and enriching comments from you! Thank you so much!

declarations-of-drama replied to your photoset “Without being noticed by them, who are absent-mindedly engaged in...”

Wow, how his brain has been shaped by his circumstances. I totally think I get what you are doing here - his subconscious dreams resonate from deep suppression, too fearful to even face them almost? Too perfect to comprehend? The hidden desert is almost comfortable for him? The force of these Angels and what they represent must be gargantuan to him!

That is pretty much my understanding, too. In everyday life, these angels of deadly perfection are his colleagues, the athletes he works with, and any man really, capable of arousing Tobio’s desire... Though as an oneiric representation the men might be a lot bigger and more intense than in life -- Gargantuan, as you put it! And the desert, which is his own life lived under repression, though uncomfortable to the point of torture, is still better than incurring in sin, or going with the angels, or diving into the dam...

I almost mentioned that the God Tobio fears, the God of Catholicism, Protestantism and Judaism, is a God that emanates from the deserts and arid, impoverished regions where these peoples lived in the very beginning of their religions -- and their God and religion bear many of the most harsh characteristics of the desert where they sprung up...

There is so much to bring into each passage, but the main purpose is to be entertaining, and pertaining to the story and the characters, and not some treaty on religion, or so I have tried...

my-simension replied to your photoset “Without being noticed by them, who are absent-mindedly engaged in...”

Spectacular!!! O

Thank you so much dear for your enthusiasm!

declarations-of-drama replied to your photoset “Torn between unsatisfactory possibilities of escape – diving into the...”

. . . . . no words. I feel bad for him, truly!

And Tobio appreciates it... In dreams, and in his life, he says the same prayer, to the same wrathful God, with the same fear of Hell and damnation... That Freud has seen parallels in conscious and unconscious behaviors is really insightful, and Tobio is beginning to profit from this knowledge that has been recently shared with mankind (this is the 1910s, let’s not forget it)

willky12 replied to your photo “That’s when Tobio falls – from the top of the wall to return to...”

Such torment. I wonder if you researched recurring dreams for this update? There is a lot of evidence in this type of recurring dream that relates to Tobio very well.

 Like I said in our exchange of messages, I did not research anything -- of what I first named “recurrent dreaming”, and that thanks to you has been corrected to recurring... I wrote this intuitively, or simply trying to see it from Tobio’s perspective... I believe to have read that water is a symbol for sexuality, probably in Jung’s Man and his Symbols, that I have leafed through two decades or more ago... Truth is I did not prepare myself properly to write this passage, and I could never have interpreted the symbols in Tobio’s dream like you did. 

Thank you so much!

hyperkaos replied to your photo “That’s when Tobio falls – from the top of the wall to return to...”

I've sat here for 10 minutes and I can't think of anything. That alone should speak volume darling. ♥

To be honest, I did not understand what you said -- which is always a good reminder that English is an endless source of mysteries and misunderstandings for me! But I did get the “darling” part, so thank you :)

simblu replied to your photo “That’s when Tobio falls – from the top of the wall to return to...”

BRAVO! So well done. I've commented along the way... perfect symbolism, poetically rendered.

Thank You so much for all the comments, they are very precious to me, and bring a lot of fresh points of view into my writing. I hope to have responded satisfactorily to them!  Thank You so much!

declarations-of-drama replied to your photo “That’s when Tobio falls – from the top of the wall to return to...”

What a fantastic update that was! I enjoyed it immensely. Now I need to do what my lazy brain stopped me from doing when I first started following and taking interest in your work - go back to post #1.

Thank You so much! Your comments are wonderfully nuanced and rich, and they help me rethink my own story and characters. So precious, thank you!

I do believe you have already seen and read post #1 of LoSSS, which actually is #00, for you have already commented on it!

my-simension replied to your photo “That’s when Tobio falls – from the top of the wall to return to...”

Agree, this is incredible!

Thank you so much, dear. This post, in chronological order of comments and of scenes, opens and closes with you :)

[attract-mode-collective]

Finally, The ET Video Game That You’ve Been Waiting For

Since there was no proper game culture wrap-up last week (again, sorry about that), along with how I’m filing this at the end of the week instead of the beginning (there’s… stuff happening, so consider this one of the more minor examples), there’s a lot to cover this time around. Including a bunch of happenings from the word of art.

So kicking things off is the latest from Amanda Visel X Michelle Valigura. Much like their Star Wars, Beetlejuice, and Heathers cabinets, here we their ideas of what arcade games based upon ET and Aliens could and should look like. And yeah, playing as Gertie is an approach that could salvage its reputation in the video game sphere, plus I totally want an Alien/Aliens video game starring Newt.

Actually, hasn’t something similar already happened? Sorry, haven’t kept up with the video adaptations; last one I played was for the Jaguar. Anyhow, and unfortunately, both pieces are sold out online. Though… and I’m not 100% certain, but… they’re both at the Thailand Toy Expo, so maybe they brought a few extras with them?

Elsewhere in Asia, Japan to be exact, are not just one but two other notable shows, and both focused on electronic entertainment. First is something you’re probably familiar with, the My Famicase Exhibition, and not just because it’s been around for 13 years. As of this writing, the entire assortment has yet to be shared officially, so you’ll have to turn to Twitter to see the participants boasting their own handiwork.

[UPDATE: 5/7/17] Actually, all the pieces are finally viewable on the Famicase homepage proper. Here are my faves…

… I particularly love Saturdays’s flavor text: “The gateway opens once a week. Tomorrow I’m going in.”

… You kinda need to see the actual cart in the wild to understand; here’s a pic courtesy of @mandimappy…

And finally...

… It’s maybe pointing out that the artist responsible for the concept above also did a piece for last year’s event as well, which ended up becoming something that’s actually playable! Hope history repeats itself cuz I really want a game about an all cat band with gross lyrics.

Now, the other show is something you may know nothing about, cuz a. the 16 Bit Models Exhibition has only been around for two years and b, was only open for just one day, hence why it’s fallen under many radars.

Admittedly, I found last year’s assortment a bit more up my alley, most due to my affinity for the obscure. Yet I can still appreciate this very realistic take on the Super Mario Bros (btw, am also sorry that I don’t know who’s responsible for what)…

Along with this realistic take on Pauline and Donkey Kong…

Yet the exhibition was a reminder that not every Nintendo game out there has been paid tribute to death, specifically Urban Champion…

The dioramas are easily the best parts of the 16 Bit Models Exhibition. Here’s an equally impressive one, featuring Castlevania…

Though once again, the obscurer the better, so this tribute to Bio Miracle Bokutte Upa gets a thumbs up from me…

Which is the lesser known game: Bio Miracle Bokutte Upa or City Connection? The latter at least was released on the NES at the time. Then again…

Moving onto fashion, UNIQLO recently unveiled an upcoming line based upon Mario and company. As one might expect from UNIQLO, they look quite nice! Here’s the campaign movie from Japan…

The best part is that UNIQLO’s entire line is headed towards the US! Was not expecting that. Alas, certain designs are not available to everyone, and I know more than a few adults who wouldn’t mind that Kirby tee. So here comes YUMMY MART to the rescue…

Somewhat along the same lines is Namco enlisting the talents of PAYNUS, who represents some of the esoteric offerings in the Pac-Store…

The constant reference to pizza is something that’s present in both the PAYNUS designs and Namco’s own in-house efforts…

Meanwhile, back at METEOR, in addition to the latest Famicase exhibit, they’ve also been busy with a collab with THUNDERBOX (which I highlighted just a few weeks ago). And from the looks of miki800.com’s post, MOUNTAIN GRAPHICS is also involved? Talk about a holy trinity…

Whereas the previous combination makes sense, the following is… unexpected. Recently discovered that R23X has teamed up with the The Yetee of all folks to produce a line of shirts showcasing glitched VHS stills. Including one that’s game related (technically two; there’s also a crop top version as well)…

Looks neat and all, but I’m less of a Final Fantasy 7 fan and more of a Wave Race 64 aficionado, and would therefore love to see this on a tee…

I’d also love to get my hands on one of these 100 yen pins that @rgb_club posted a couple weeks back, though no word on when it might be available…

Here’s another thing that’s not for sale, mostly cuz there was only one, which is of this baseball player made to look like a Street Fighter…

Which had the better Spinning Bird Kick; Street Fighter: The Legend of Chun-Li…

Or City Hunter (yup, that’s Jackie Chan; via tenshokyaku)…

Sticking with leggy video game stars, thanks to thevideogameartarchive, we finally have an answer as to whether Link is boxers or briefs…

And sticking with Link for just a bit more, I particularly dig nozovis’s summary of the fun times him and Zelda have in Breath of the Wild…

Along those same lines is a zine that @WPR_haru made that’s filled with all the photos he took, one that I’d love to have a copy of…

Which fan art featuring a character from behind do you prefer; this Breath of the Wild piece by James Kochalka…

Or this Overwatch piece by some unknown artist (if anyone knows, plz let me know)…

Here we have @RAStyle85’s Astro City with a lots of buttons, for playing whatever game that requires that many inputs…

And here we have former Taito graphic designer Atsushi Iwata’s custom-built device, for producing pixel graphics!

Such things were used in other places, like SNK. Here we have a quote from someone who worked there, courtesy of videogamesdensetsu…

“The sprite editor used by artists for a number of SNK fighting games (Art Box) was written for the Neo-Geo, and uses the Neo-Geo as the interface. As in, you would use the joystick and the buttons to draw the sprite. He didn’t believe this when he started there, until one of the higher ups showed him by firing up one of the machines and drawing a kickass sprite of Robert Garcia in like 10 minutes”.

Does the Art Box sound familiar? Well, it should be.

The latest from The Gaming Historian, on the creation of the d-pad, answers the one question I’ve had for ages: if Nintendo was able to patent the control input, how were Sega and others able to get away with something seemingly similar?

Remember the 8bit Harmonica from last week? Well here’s another project involving the Famicom by Ugoita that’s a bit more… random?

This post has gone on for far too long without any Sega. Time to fix that with some gifs of Sonic from Sega Saturn de Hakken!! Tamagotchi Park, which as you may have guessed is a Tamagotchi title in which you can raise Sonic (and sorry, chilli dogs was Sonic’s fave food in the US, though I believe Sonic Generations would later recon that; via pr0jectneedlemouse)…

Though you can also raise other Sega personalities, like Opa Opa and Alex Kidd, plus even a Mega Drive cart (via grooveonfight)?

Super obscure Sega humor doesn’t get more obscure than this folks (note to self: on the next car trip, bring along the soundtrack to Super Hang-On cuz repeated plays of OutRun and Daytona USA tunes can get old after a while; via dnopls)…

I know the following has been shared liked crazy (hell, even NPR posted the damn thing), and for good reason. All I can say is, Pikachu #14, get your sh*t together…

Speaking of Pikachu and his pals, The Pokemon Center released a line of Ditto Gachapon figures that are supa kawaii (via retrogamerblog)…

Though the one piece of plastic I want the most is the also recently unveiled Samus from Metroid Prime figure by Good Smile Company, which looks hella cooler than the previously released Other M Figma…

Am embarrassed to admit that I have no idea where this following screenshot is from, nor the tune that accompanies it, both courtesy of radicalhelmet. If anyone would be kind enough to clue me in, would be supremely appreciated…

I wonder what the cover girl of this issue of Spoon is playing (via sixteen-bit)…

And this week’s recommended reading comes courtesy of mah boi Don Miller, and is actually something that Oliver at Minus World also picked up on, which is a book produced by the creator of LSD: Dream Emulator, among other things, and someone I’ve mentioned quite a few times around these parts. It’s called The Art of Computer Designing: A Black and White Approach and is available via archive.org…

As someone who has always planned on transforming an old iMac into a fish tank, thanks to Phazed, I know have other ideas…

And finally, and I also know that I’ve been saying the same thing over and over again, but Super Attractive Club members will be receiving another round up game culture snapshots, hopefully very soon! Until then, please enjoy this still life courtesy of peazy86…

BTW, peazy86 also does music, plus music videos…

Don’t forget: Attract Mode is now on Medium! There you can subscribe to keep up to date, as well as enjoy some “best of” content you might have missed the first time around, plus be spared of the technical issues that’s starting to overtake Tumblr.

[yukithesnowman314]

Chapter 1

Visual Novels (Part 1)

  Anime Weekend Atlanta (AWA) left me starving. Starving for more.  More networking opportunity. More ways to get my name out there. More ways to improve myself. On the final day of the convention, my crew and I went to smoke a blunt on our hotel’s garage parking rooftop before leaving our city for an eight-hour trip back home to St. Louis.  As we smoked, we spoke about our successes and “failures”. Wins and losses.  Triumphs and disappointments.  Out of my team, I had the most wins; since I set my sights to hit the majority of my goals (such as making money bartending at a friend’s room party, networking with people within the industry, etc.).

They congratulated me for success and were happy for me. But I wasn’t.

Sure, I hit a few goals. I went out and did what I was supposed to do build my brand. You’re not supposed to be praised for doing your job like everyone else.  I wasn’t happy that I didn’t do more. I was disappointed at myself for allowing myself to get sidetracked and play myself. However, these disappointments, combined with my success started to fire me up.   Disappointment turned into desire.  Desire turned into drive.  Drive turned into action and planning.

For once in my life, I was excited to go back home after a vacation.  I needed to go back so I could plan out the next year con season, write about my adventures. And of course, work my ass off for the next con season and come back completely dominating it.

Anime Weekend Atlanta left me starving.

On Friday, I went to a panel that caught my attention weeks prior: “Whatever Happened to Visual Novel Anime?”.  I have a slight interest in the genre and was wondering why visual novels and anime based on the niche have been on the decline for the past 3-7 years.  I went; seeking knowledge from somebody who was much wiser than myself.

The panel started.  The host introduced himself, spoke about his passion for visual novels ,and revealed an amazing fact about himself: The panelist – Chris Adamson  –  is a writer  for Anime News Network.

I had to network with him; no matter what.

Note to self: Let the camera autofocus before snapping a pic.

I was in awe by the deep knowledge Chris dropped on us about the history of visual novels anime and why they were not as popular as they were back in the 2000s. The answers were “simple”, yet layered with complex facts.  The facts included the following: the lack of effort and innovation from VN creators. Long-time fans losing interest. Animators struggling to add every minor detail form the visual novels into the anime version. There were also the lack of sales of products relating to the anime and visual novels.

Chris broke down every little detail with graphs, pictures, videos, audio, cited sources, sales figures, you name it.  He was armed and prepared to attack us with knowledge and education. Clearly, he studied this genre with depth.  Clearly, he was passionate about visual novels and wants it to see it recover from its slump.

At the end of the panel, he left the floor open for questions.  I shoot my hand up high in the air before anyone else (if you’re ain’t first your last) and asked him this question:

Do you think there will a renaissance of visual novels and anime based on anime, and if they the VN industry does crash, do you see it rising from its ashes?

I’ve since forgotten most of Chris’s reply (thanks to smoking weed all weekend and being an idiot for not recording the panel), but he brought up an interesting point: He does believe that visual novels could come back, thanks to the success of the American visual novel Doki Doki Literature Club (DDLC) with its innovating meta-narrative (he even suggests that a DDLC anime could work through streaming services with Monika going through your watch history, fucking with the audio/video, etc.). Chris also mentioned that with more Americans entering the VN fray that could lead to the niche revival from a Western’s standpoint.

After the panel, I was completely floored and astonished by his wisdom.  I had to network with him.  Deep down in me, there was a fire building up.  The fire of craving more knowledge. There were other guys with me who also had that fire in them. Out of the 20-30 people in attendance, only five of us stay after the panel (to speak with Chris).  Two were working on their own visual novels, two were fans of the genre and also hungry for more knowledge, and of course, me; who was moved by this.

As we were finishing talking, a Yuri and Natsuki (DDLC) cosplayers walked past us. We all smiled as we were just talking about DDLC earlier.  I smiled even harder; as it got me excited to rock my Monika genderswap cosplay the next morning on Day 3.

And by the next morning, I mean I decided to have shots of rum for breakfast and plotted to wear my “No Coonin’!” shirt to The People of Color (I fucking hate how black people us that term as a black man) Photoshoot in hopes of offending any self-hating Uncle Toms/Coons/Nergo Bed Wench nigga nerds with it at the shoot instead of cosplaying as Monika at the shoot.

Which,  said plot was used against me.

Coon train is coming!

I arrived at the shoot. Since it was a multi-media shoot, the host had people take group photos by genre (movies, anime, comics, etc.). Of course, you had cosplayers from comics, video games, and anime. Mainstream shit.   However, nobody was cosplaying from any visual novels series (a testament of the decline of interest towards visual novels).  I was sad and angry. Sad because there aren’t many Black nerds who are into visual novels.  Angry at myself for deciding to (unsuccessfully) troll people with my shirt and not going to the shoot with wearing my Monika cosplay.

This is me being utterly arrogant, but I don’t give a shit: If I would have gone with that Monika cosplay, I would have been the only Black cosplayer in that group doing a visual novel character cosplay.  Is Doki Doki Literature Club a normie tier meme visual novel?  Yes.  But it’s still a visual novel.  And I would have earned that honor and respect of doing something out of the norm. A black man. Doing a gendswap cosplay. Of a visual novel character. A piece of media which black people don’t really fuck with.

I could have spoken good game about the visual novel niche and get my fellow Black nerds hip on it.  I could have introduced people who never played a VN before into a new world; which in turn could have gotten people into playing them.

But I’m a fucking idiot.

(By the way, there’s going to be more of my arrogance later.  Please leave if you’re offended by people having pride in themselves and their passion).

From The POC Cosplayer Shoot

From The POC Cosplayer Shoot

From The POC Cosplayer Shoot

From The POC Cosplayer Shoot

From The POC Cosplayer Shoot

From The POC Cosplayer Shoot

From The POC Cosplayer Shoot

I left the POC shoot and decided to take a few pics inside the convention center.   As I’m wandering around I spot a black woman wearing a shrine maiden outfit.  Red pants, disconnected sleeves, white top, and purple hair.  For a split second, I thought she was cosplaying as the PC98 era Reimu from Touhou (Highly Responsive to Prayers, Lotus Land Story, etc.) and I was smiling from ear-to-ear at the “fact” that there was a black woman cosplaying as the old-school version of Red Sanae.

Upon further inspection, she wasn’t wearing Reimu’s trademark red bow, but rather black horns with cracks in them.

Wait, is she cosplaying as Hanyuu from Higurashi I asked myself.

I poked her on her shoulder and asked.  She smiled and I started to geeked out.   Somebody still has love for Higurashi and is cosplaying at the con; (to my knowledge) she was the only Higurashi cosplayer at the con. Either way, I was just fucking happy to see somebody cosplay as a character from one of my favorite visual novel anime series.

I took her picture of course and told her that her cosplay was lovely.  My only regret is that I didn’t tell her  I appreciate her for cosplay as a Higurashi character and that it made me want to do a When They Cry cosplay again (I used to cosplay as Goat Butler from Umineko for a while).  I should had left my friends behind and let them go back to the hotel while I chopped up some game with the woman.

It’s funny because days prior to AWA, I had two When They Cry related dreams.   The first dream was of me at Anime Weekend Atlanta.  I was cosplaying as a genderswap Bernkastel, but I got kicked out from the con for being too drunk  (Bernkastel drinks wine and gets drunk so I had to play the role you know even in my dreams),  not wearing my badge, and telling con staff that I don’t give a fuck about having a badge.

The second one was of me at Anime Expo. I was wearing a way better version of my Goat Bulter cosplay. As I was walking out and about there was a group of Umineko cosplayers. A Bernkastel cosplayer spotted me and asked if I wanted to join them for a few photos, which I agreed to.

And then I woked up.

The Hanyuu cosplayer.

Back to reality.  I marched back to my hotel.  I started listening to an interview with Tim Grover (author of Relentless, the trainer of Basketball icons such as Kobe Byrant, Dwayne Wade, and  Micheal Jordan). I was trying to think of a plan as I prep for my Monika cosplay.  I was overanalyzing and overthinking.  I remember in the first chapter of  Relentless Grover stated the best don’t think,

They act. On instinct.  And let their instincts do the work.

From that thought, I turned off the interview and started to listen to Saiyan Pride from Dragon Ball Super on repeat.  The echoing piano notes.  The percussion building up to the arrival the horns, strings, and bells.  I was entering my Zone.  I was inviting my Dark Side to do the work. Tunnel vision and laser focus.

I wasn’t going to allow myself to fuck up further.

I’m going to win. I said to myself.

(Continued in Chapter 2)

WHERE I COPPED THE “No Coonin’!” SHIRT: https://shop.spreadshirt.com/theunapologeticblackman/

I’m Starving (Or How Anime Weekend Atlanta Left Me Wanting More) Chapter 1 Visual Novels (Part 1) Anime Weekend Atlanta (AWA) left me starving. Starving for more.  More networking opportunity.