#i told multiple people about this on discord but i'm still having the moment about it so i think tumblr needs to know too

[regenderate]

still making my way through rtd's non-doctor-who work. currently at mine all mine which is from 2004. one character says to another character "you should meet ianto." i (not welsh) (never been to wales) (only know like one welsh person) am like "oh ha ha like ianto from torchwood?" and then immediately shut that down like "ianto is probably a very common welsh name, the fact that my mind immediately goes to ianto from torchwood is just a sign of my ignorance/lack of interaction with welsh people." character shows up to meet ianto.

[image description: a screenshot from the tv show mine all mine. it depicts two young men standing next to each other in a club. one of them is played by gareth-david lloyd. end image description.]

it's ianto from torchwood.

[chiocchi]

Chiocchi!

Big fan of your artistry. I love your art so much! And those graphic novels you have on ao3??? Heaven sent! I use them as an imagery reference if I read any similar trope haha!

I asked the same question to leafiloaf since I love them too, but I'll be very interested to know your artistic journey if you don't mind sharing. How did you start with your art?

Tysm for being in this fandom ❤️

youknowmevj! omg thank you so much! You're too kind 😭🥺❤️❤️❤️ And yess lots of love to leafiloaf

Thanks for the ask! I've never told anyone about it and I'm so excited I'll give you so much unnecessary context. Oops long post.

My artistic journey

I've enjoyed drawing since I was little, but mostly I just drew doodles in my notebook. Anime was a big inspiration for my style and I wanted to create digital illustrations too. When I was a teenager, I tried using a mouse and a PC, and my finger and some app on my phone, but the results were always terrible. I told myself it was because I didn't have a drawing tablet, so "of course my drawings will look ugly" and stopped trying.

However, I promised a discord friend that I would do a drawing for her in December 2020. So, I downloaded this app called "Ibis Paint" on my phone and, with all my effort despite my lack of ability, I drew Harry using the app and my finger jskldhfsa

I was so hesitant and nervous about showing it to her. I could tell it wasn't pretty, just "weird and awkward", and I felt embarrassed. But she told me it was good (LIES) and somehow convinced me to share it with others on the server. Despite feeling shy, I shared it anyway. To my surprise, three people told me it was pretty! I appreciated their kindness.

It wasn't until March 2021 that I returned to drawing digitally and on a more consistent basis. I was mainly doing fanart for a game that I liked.

In May or June (I can't remember exactly), I stumbled upon an artist who created incredible art using Ibis Paint. And I realized that I didn't need a drawing tablet, just more practice and skill, because if they could do it, then I could do it too! That was the moment I began taking art more seriously (still as a hobby, though!).

Due to the pandemic, I had a lot of free time, which I used to watch a lot of tutorials, practice gesture and follow the advice of artists I liked. With every drawing I made, I could see an improvement, which motivated me even more to keep on working hard (drawing became a source of comfort during those depressing times. It was just really fun).

In late 2021, I mentioned to a childhood friend that I wanted to buy a drawing tablet, and he asked me if I wanted his old one, which I excitedly accepted. Finally, I had the tool that would make my art incredible… or so I thought! I was terrible with it. For the first few months, I preferred Ibis paint and my finger. But I eventually got the hang of it! What I love the most are the multiple brushes and pressure settings. I'm such a hoarder, even if I don't use all of them ksklajdl.

In 2022, I participated in several bigbangs and zines, but what I'm most excited to talk about is the tomarry comic that I started.

My tomarrymort art

I've read tomarrymort fics since 2017, but I wasn't active on the fandom. In 2020, I joined a writer's server (all love to Amanda) and met the friend I mentioned earlier. So technically, you could say my love for tomarrymort lead me here kek

Even though my main inspiration was a game, here is some fic fanart I made.

This is my first tomarry art (July 27th, 2021). It's a scene from Genius by the Numbers. I think it looks weird kjdshk

I also made art for A Mating of Convenience, what started in beautiful rooms, Dripping Fingers and for Ale, beloved. (I think I've never posted these before.)

Then two things happened: I saw comic on ao3 (If I'll Ever See You by festivewind) and I was like "WOW! THAT'S SO COOL" and "omg we can upload comics!"

The second thing was me being rejected as a webtoon background artist (naturally, as I wasn't good enough for the specifics) and the spite made me want to do my own so I could improve my weakness (the grind never stops 💪🔥).

I read some of my old notes for story ideas (I'm not good at writing but I still had some snippets of stories). And boom! Love triangle but the 3 of them are idiots (affectionate). Fun fact: the original version had a murder, someone in Azkaban and someone hating the other forever :D

Don't pretend started as an anonymous work because some of my friends knew my AO3 username and I was afraid of screwing up the format (I don't know html) and looking like a fool DKJALKSJL I was also afraid of possible backlash (I'm an over-thinker).

None of that happened (comments were very kind and nice!) But idk, it was nice being anon. I'm awkward and shy and I usually don't know what to say to compliments (Sometimes a "thank you" doesn't feel enough but that's all my brain can offer 😭)

Then I made some tomarry christmas art and shared it on TRoR discord server and someone asked me if I had Tumblr and I said no but that gave me the idea of making one.

Since I planned Don't pretend as being a long story, I realized it'd take me a long time to finish it and I wanted to contribute to the complete tomarrymort works! That's the reason I took a pause and made A Soulmate Like You.

Anyway, I made this tumblr on January 2023, and the plan was to fill it with art so, eventually, when I found the courage to make my works non-anon, I could link to this page. Except that I posted one drawing, and that was enough for isalisewrites to know it was me HJKASDJLA. So I stopped the anonymous thing.

I'm still not used to being "perceived" 👁️👁️ but I've learned it's not bad. People have been really kind and I think I'm less shy now! I'm very happy to be part of this fandom with lots of kind and supportive people and incredible fics and fanart <3

[kitaishi]

i took a break from playing all week and picked up the again yesterday. finished ch.8 but not moving onto ch.9 until i finish the open world stuff.

so far i'm enjoying the game a lot; probably the first FF game i don't have major complaints about in like 10+ years (sorry to xvi fans that follow me but i dropped that game. didn't vibe with it - especially after yoshida's multiple comments about brown/black people in the game when asked about it). and speaking of melanin, rebirth has a lot in all shades, it's really cool to see!

hopefully we see this reflected in the actual main cast more but i'm really pleased.

as far as the story, i have some gripes i won't go into yet but i'm really pleased with tifa's writing in this game at least. a lot of my complaints about it in remake are gone and she feels more like her OG self imo. i also think her writing in terms of her relationship with cloud is a lot better too. i told this to a friend on discord but i really didn't like the 'childhood friends uwu' stuff in remake; clo/ti should be filled with tension, bad communication, and an unspoken wall up between them despite how badly they want to talk to each other. it's why i liked the kalm and junon scenes - you see that but you also see them apologizing to each other and trying to get better at communicating and understanding each other.

I really loved this scene, it reminded me of Case of Tifa, and considering there's a lot of little details from Traces of Two Pasts, I feel like it was intentional:

I thought it’d be fine if everything just washed away. Wash away my past. Our Past. And why not me too?

this line made nearly made me scream because a consistent post-game change i had in my older blogs was that she moves into the house cloud can buy in costa del sol ( b/c who tf would want to live in edge! )

i will say that i wish there was more for her on her own but they're following the flow of disc 1 pretty accurately so hopefully we get more of her own in part 3 when she's the party leader. they heavily hinted at her reuniting with zangan at the end of TotP and i'll probably get the 'student surpasses the master' fight i've been wanting there.

i'll probably save more of my thoughts on aeris on her blog when i beat the game but so far, the writing for her is mostly fine but i feel like i have more gripes here than in remake. i wish there was more cetra stuff for her but i still have a couple chapters left so i don't want to start complaining too early.

i guess in terms of negatives: having the palmer fight and a shooting mini-game right after the dyne stuff was tonally kind of distasteful and i wish the devs would just let moments breathe more. the other characters don't ALWAYS have to have something to do. as far as the zack stuff, i'm struggling to see the point of them so far if i'm being honest. the concept of them felt cool originally - kind of like this laguna style other half like in viii - but so far the execution of it feels a bit botched imo. thankfully, they're short enough before they start feeling intrusive.

also i usually don't cry or get emotional playing video games but seeing this older lady and two kids at the golden saucer made me start crying for a couple of minutes; it reminded me of how my grandma, how passed just a little over two years ago, took my brother and i to disney world when we kids. we don't have any pictures of it anymore due it getting lost from moving so i just have my memories.

[rrelationshipadvice]

I've decided on leaving my partner for various reasons, a few being:

1) lack of showing interest in anything I like but pinging me & expecting me to pay attention to theirs. Literally watching me talk about things I like and proceeding to interrupt me/talk about something else while ignoring messages I sent hours earlier about something I like. zero engagement at all, no questions, no real encouragement past the same two compliments that have long since sounded completely hollow to me.

I understand that not everyone is expected to show the same enthusiasm for something that I do, but it feels like they dont care when I compare it against how I've encouraged other friends' projects/how I've listened to other friends talk about things they like & how other friends have encouraged & listened to me, especially when it comes to things they or I will never play or want to engage in as a media.

2) them holding onto very small conflicts we resolved months ago and casually mentioning how they still feel bad about it long after its solved which makes it difficult for me to bring up anything now

3) being financially irresponsible to the point that the one time I asked them for something- which was no more than $30 iirc- they didn't have the money for it. I had spent on them repeatedly in the past (they spent that money on gacha games because they didn't want to wait a few days longer to pull on something. It was time limited but not ending anytime soon, they very easily couldve waited, met their one obligation, and still been able to get the same shit out of that game. It did not go to something more important)

There's a bit more, but having sorted my thoughts and emotions, those are the big ones that came up in my mind again and again

If I were someone else these conflicts might be able to be solved, but I avoided bringing these up which is, of course, on me. Unfortunately my emotional state/opinion regarding them is now past the point of no return because every word they say irritates me and its been like this for a while. So that'll just have to be a lesson for future me to remember.

The really important part that I'm asking for advice on is how to go about it. It's a tricky situation since we're both borderline (just to clear up any confusion before it starts, im not the person who also had bpd that came through here earlier), and our primary communication is through discord since its a long distance relationship and they've been through a lot this year already (they lost three other friends in the last few months. I am now understanding why.) Both telling them straight up and blocking them without a word have their own drawbacks right now, being:

- The first friend to leave this year told my partner why & left and proceeded to get harassed on every platform alongside their friends & loved ones because my partner would not fucking stop trying to contact them. There were four people (all friends) including me telling my partner that this was not acceptable behavior and to stop but they were adamant on doing so and refused to listen to anyone. Afaik they were close to this person before they left so theres a good chance I could receive the same treatment too.

I probably shouldve taken this behavior as my sign to gtfo back then honestly, because I've been on the other end of shit like that before and it left me fucked up for a very long time. Something to add to my notes as a future 100% no questions asked dealbreaker i guess. I know its difficult with bpd considering I also have it, but the one thing I could never bear to do to someone no matter how much I hate them in the moment is evade blocks multiple times on multiple platforms trying to get them to talk to me.

I don't want my friends to have to deal with this (I havent actually told any of them that I'm planning/having thoughts of breaking up with my partner. I dont know how to go about that conversation either.) and I know that my partner knows at least two of their users and unfortunately discord has made it incredibly easy to find people through just usernames.

I've considered warning the ones im worried about getting targeted ahead of time so they can configure their settings/block my partner to avoid having to deal with any of it further down the line, but I dont know if my partner knows of their social medias too or would go so far as to make a tumblr just to harass them.

- That said, I know that ghosting/blocking without a word could go equally as badly- the most recent friend to leave did that but I don't have details on what occurred after because I was not mentally well enough to help at the time and dealing with my own unrelated breakdown. I'm probably wrong, but it makes this option seem much more appealing. I'll probably warn my friends and give them the user to block ahead of time either way, honestly.

They've said before that if someone leaves them (platonically or romantically) they want a reason but having seen what happened when the first person gave them one and left I'm not sure any reason or conversation that doesnt end with "ill give you another chance"/"ill stay" would be good enough for them. I honestly dont trust them not to try picking apart any reasons I give them rather than just accepting it

I just don't know where to go from here, any guidance at all would be much appreciated!!!

.

[triggerhappymilitant]

Can you list the romantic and/or sexual relationships with other muses and tell us something about about why are you shipping with them and how does this relationship look like? :)

I am 100% going to forget people. Mun is currently sick, so I apologize if I do. It doesn't mean I don't love our babies, it just means I'm slowly dying.

@hoodedchishiya is finally his goddamn boyfriend. This one had to be first, because this mf is the reason I created my Niragi account in the first place. Chishiya and Niragi absolutely love to antagonize each other, and even when they've done things to imply clear enough that they have deeper feelings for each other, their soft moments are still rare. However, when they are vulnerable with each other, you could just melt into the floor. These two babies have such amazing chemistry, and they're perfect for each other.

I've also got two other Nishiya ships, with @chishiya-the-cat and @chishiya-of-diamonds — Both are very undefined. With Diamonds, they've at least agreed that they're sexually attracted to each other. Cat, they haven't so much as admitted to it, as they've acted on it and keep telling themselves it's a one-time thing, but they constantly end up in each other's beds. There's an attraction there, a draw, but neither can figure out exactly what it is.

@daikichixkarube is another boyfriend. Niragi felt an immediate attraction towards meeting Karube (look, he has a thing for blonds, okay?) He was able to show the new guy around, and the flirting was pretty immediate. I think, to an extent, there's something in Karube that recognizes the part of Niragi that he wants to hide the most. Niragi has been willing to open up about the bullshit he went through with him, something I don't think he's truly been able to do with anyone else. They're very cute together, but also happy to roll around in bed together.

@aggwaseon Jihoon is a recently turned boyfriend of Niragi's. Despite the age difference, the two get along great. There's a big sexual drive there, but there are also feelings involved (having told each other they love each other.) Niragi is protective of him in a way he isn't with most; something entirely unnecessary given the age, job, and abs on Ji, but it's more of an emotional protectiveness. He wants Ji to feel nothing but happiness.

@your-sweet-cookie this man finally has a girlfriend. And we're also back to the blonds (I know, its silver/grey/etc. He likes people with very little color in his hair.) Niragi wasn't sure what to make of her at first. He always found her attractive, but he wasn't used to romance. Still, he quickly started developing feelings for her and wanted to spend all his time around her.

@yuzuhastrength While we haven't done anything with them recently, I will definitely still be adding her to my list. It's very undefined. There is an attraction there, despite their past. Niragi enjoys her company, her fiery nature, and the fact she can hold her own. And, of course, he finds her ridiculously attractive.

Not as active here on Tumblr, but I'm still shouting out @heartsking since we write a shit ton on Discord and they're my favorite person in the world. The first person I ever wrote Nishiya with - the person who watched me go from "eh, I could see it maybe being sexual" to "I will go down with this ship." And is happy to appease me for it. They're the most open with their feelings, and Niragi is a bit of a teddy bear with Chishiya. With have multiple universes, so it's hard to comment on all of them.

There are some that are sexual and/or just super blurry and undefined what they are. Again, I'll probably miss some, but some honorable mentions are @arisuthegamer (Niragi wants this man, badly. Arisu has actually admitted to having a crush, but they haven't done much with it yet.) @thebandanightmare (chaotic, sexy. Where's the "I ship it" Thor meme?) @spade-0-chan - they're flirty, unsure what's really going on with them, and I don't think they know either. @twentyfourhourtitts pretty strictly FWB. Put two attractive people with high sex drives together and boom, you've got these two. @k-y-u-m-a-clubs - Niragi adores this man endlessly. It's blurry as to what all exactly is going on with people, but Niragi enjoys his company nevertheless.

Again, I'm sorry if I missed anyone. I tried checking my following list to avoid it, but I'm sure I still probably did. You're free to yell at me.

[jarmeat]

To you.

Hey.

I hope this message finds you well.

And I hope you find it at all.

Before I begin, I'd like to say that this could be potentially triggering to read. But I had to write this out to let you know what's going on.

It's actually probably more for me, to be honest. To write out my feelings and be able to organize some of my thoughts for me to better navigate them.

I've made the judgment call that it's probably best that we don't talk for a while. I don't even know if I should apologize or not, because I'm unable to tell if you even want to associate with me anymore.

I've found myself torn the last few days trying to figure out what I wanted. I would feel sad, angry, and depressed when you wouldn't talk to me or give me a reply that I was satisfied with. But when you did reply with something I was okay with, or when I did spend time with you, it just felt..numb. We've both been using that word pretty frequently lately, haven't we.

Considering the possibility of you actually liking someone else, regardless of whether or not you choose to pursue that, would put me in a state of mind that I am incapable of dealing with at the moment. While I've detached quite a bit the last week or so, I still am sure that I would not be able to handle it.

In any case, I'd like to thank you for a beautiful fleeting moment within my life. It was brief. But more than anything, it felt like happiness. Perhaps too much, as we spoke about. I will apologize for not understanding how your BPD affects you and how to work around it. I didn't realize that chasing the highs would create lower lows, and I'm sorry that I potentially contributed to that for you. I've been doing tons of research about how to interact with people with BPD, and like we've discussed before, I am suspecting myself to have BPD and will be going to therapy hopefully soon to address my concerns.

I became extremely attached to you, and I was ping ponged around. I was told I was liked. I was told that your intentions were to be together forever. I was told that you might like someone else. I was told you weren't ready for a relationship. I was told you don't know your intentions anymore. I was told you really do like me. I was told you wanted my attention. I was told I was wasting my time. I was told sorry.

The day you told me that you think you like someone else, I lost it. I tried to keep my cool, I really did. But that day, there were multiple times I nearly ended it. I drove to the beach, and my mind was SCREAMING at me to just turn the wheel while I was on the highway. I literally had to scream out loud myself in order to shut out the urge.

When I arrived at the beach, I found a fairly high cliff that I took solace in, but those voices spoke to me yet again. It was a high place. I had to lie down in order to prevent myself from giving in. I walked up to the waves and they were beckoning for me to join their recession back into ocean.

You told me you didn't want to stop talking to me completely. But I've initiated everything since. And you've continuously spent more and more time with the guy you said you maybe liked or had a crush on. Except without me this time.

I feel nothing but coldness from you now. As friends, that is okay. But my mind still cannot see us as just friends quite yet.

I really cannot blame you for any of this, considering these are textbook examples of BPD behaviors. But still, as someone who is potentially BPD also, these are things that tore me to shreds. And it's caused me to spiral completely out of my control.

I will tell you everything that's been going on behind the scenes with me, and how badly I've been dealing with this.

I've been staring at my computer screen for hours on end. I am constantly checking your blogs to see if you've posted anything new or anything about me. I'm always checking your twitter. I'm constantly checking your status on discord. My heart drops if I see you online, because I know what's coming (or not, rather.)

And I wait. I wait to see if you will initiate a conversation with me. I wait to see if you will invite me to play. I wait to see what your next move is, but there is no next move.

I have been staying up overnight due to the inability to sleep, and it helped because at some point passed 24 straight hours of being awake, I began to feel numb. Not only that, but it helped because I wouldn't have the insecurity-attacking dreams I'm so very fond of.

I've been avoiding people. I've been irritable. I've been angry. I've been depressed. I've been numb. I've even been content. I've been feeling so many different emotions and I cannot regulate ANY of them. Any single one of them could occur at any given moment, and it's been fucking with me so hard because I haven't dealt with this before. At least not with this intensity.

The day I went to the beach, I needed something. So I picked up smoking again.

The day before my birthday, I began to self harm. Five days later as I'm writing this, there is fresh blood drying on me.

I never thought I'd be pushed to this, but I think allowing myself to be vulnerable again after 6 years only to be brought to what arguably is my lowest point, in such a short amount of time, I'm just looking for any way possible to distract myself from the pain and disappointment I'm experiencing.

I will be blocking you from here onwards on discord, and I will probably no longer be using twitter as it has been terrible for my mental health as well. Again, I would say I'm sorry, but with the way things have been, I don't know if it matters to you or not. That may be selfish of me to say knowing your history with BPD, but at some point, I need to prioritize myself and be selfish once in a while.

I will say I'm sorry for the situation as a whole. I truly felt something genuine for you, and I felt that we could make it work. But I was a fool to think that I was capable of handling the type of emotional burden you hold within you while not even being able to handle my own.

I still hold love for you. I've known you for years. So please take care while I'm gone. I hope that if you need it, you seek help and receive it. I hope that if you pursue a relationship, it goes well for you.

I will still be around if you need me. You have my phone number. But if you contact me, please tell me your intentions.

Thank you. For everything.

[brainrodents]

There's been. So much happening in my life.

Storytime under the cut.

I thought, since I was a teenager, that I was strictly aroace. Uninterested in sex, romance, all of it. I scoffed when people told me I just hadn't found the right person, scowled at how people mourned for my supposed loss of an essential part of life, and generally was annoyed by people insisting I was wrong because doesn't everyone know that being wrong is bad.

Que this year when I found out being wrong isn't all that awful.

I joined a discord full of nerds around my age, expecting to chat about anime, games, stuff like that. And I did, a lot. At some point I became a regular in chat to the point people would ask if I'm okay if I didn't show up for a day.

And I made some good friends on there too, wonderful people truly. But there's one person who... Became special. I didn't even notice it, but at some point I started talking to my real life friends about him. And I talked a lot about him. And they asked me "hey are you sure you two are just friends?"

And I answered something along the lines of "yeah, of course we are. I'm literally the most aroace person out there."

Then I found out my friend and I lived closer together in real life, so I made some plans to meet him. We talked even more, got closer, and I noticed I felt weird talking to him now.

Enter my utter panic when literally the day before I met him I realized I'd somehow caught *feelings* for this guy. Me, the self proclaimed most aroace person to ever aroace! With feelings! I couldn't understand it. And despite my attempts to repress it I found it was very hard to do since this was literally the first time in my life I was dealing with having a crush.

You know, most people have no idea how to help you if your first and only crush is something you got as an actual adult.

I analyzed and reanalyzed every single message he sent me, every single interaction we had, relived every moment when we hung out for real (after that first meeting I ended up having several more times we met up). Hoping I was wrong about my feelings and also hoping to get some insight into his. I honestly wasn't sure if I wanted him to like me back or if I wanted him to only see me as a friend because both options were awful in different ways. One was just terrifying and the other was heartbreaking.

My poor real life friends were dealing with my whining and uncertainty and general discomfort with my own situation nearly every day for a solid month. I still feel bad about it.

Now, the funny thing about never having any romantic interactions when you're younger is you don't recognize romantic actions when they're directed at you later on. So my friend who I had a crush on was sending massive billboard sized hints at me. He held my hand, commented on how much he loves to cuddle me, made multiple "jokes" about being open to dating me, told me I smell good. He literally told me he gets possessive of me. He was a blushing mess almost every moment we were together. The man literally kissed my head and then gazed into my eyes like we were in a romance movie at one point.

I picked up on none of that.

I was an idiot. I admit. I was a massive idiot and everyone who knew of the situation was getting sick of my shit. I got yelled at to just talk to him. I never did listen to any of that so helpful advice.

And so far, finding out I was wrong about being aro sucked. It was awful to be stuck in this emotional purgatory. I convinced myself that my first (and possibly only) love would lead to heartbreak, pain, and generally only the worst things.

And I ended up vaguely hinting to my crush that hey, I'm not aromantic actually. I happen to have developed a crush on someone and I'm pretty sure he doesn't like me back.

(he later told me that in that moment he felt extremely hurt because he was also convinced I felt nothing beyond friendship for him. He thought that he didn't have a chance and here was his proof that I didn't like him)

He was sympathetic, extremely so. Offered advice on how to move on, told me that this person is an utter fool for passing over me. I thought at the time he might've been a bit unnecessarily aggressive about my crush being "an actual idiot" for not liking me back, but I didn't read into it too much. Why would I when I'd convinced myself he didn't like me in a romantic sense?

I did notice when he got clingy, but again I didn't read too much into it. He hasn't explicitly confirmed it, but I'm pretty sure he was trying to comfort himself by getting as much as he could from a relationship he thought would remain platonic despite his deepest wishes.

Then, after a month of this silent mutual pining he was once again talking about wanting a girlfriend, and I asked randomly if he has anyone in mind for a potential girlfriend (I am somewhat not on the gender binary but I present as mostly feminine so most people default to she/her or they/them pronouns and feminine terms for me). He said he does. I asked who it is and offered to act as a wingman if I also know this person. Inside my heart was breaking but I was determined to make him happy even at the cost of my first love. I'd already convinced myself this was doomed so of course I would focus on making sure he's happy.

He started saying things about how I would judge him, how I would think he's weird. I promised I wouldn't. He still ended up making me guess people and I went through every single one of our mutual friends only for him to tell me I was wrong every single time. As a last resort I asked him if it's me.

Imagine my surprise when he answered with a simple yes.

And then proceeded to beg me to not judge him, tell me he intended to never tell me because he didn't want to ruin our friendship, plead with me to not end our friendship over this because he could get over these feelings someday and it won't affect how he interacts with me.

I shut him up by telling him I like him back and then we both started crying.

We'll be hitting one month together soon and it's still difficult to adjust to having a boyfriend, to being someone's girlfriend. But I do like how it's similar to friendship but more. And I like the warm fuzzy feeling I get whenever we exchange goodnight texts, or I hear his voice go softer when he talks to me, or the way he'll sometimes just stare like he's trying to figure out how he got so lucky. I know I do things like that too just from how he'll suddenly tell me I'm so beautiful when we aren't doing anything special, how he holds me tighter, how he'll start blushing randomly.

There are still things we need to discuss, things related to the fact that I am definitely asexual and he definitely isn't. But that'll come with time, once we're both less lost in this honeymoon period. And I'm willing to compromise to make things work and he is too. I'm fairly certain we'll be together for a while at least.

But at the same time despite all these new experiences and feelings I wouldn't say that, had I lived my life without finding someone to love and be loved by, my life would be lesser. I would still find happiness, just in a different way. I would still have connections, just of a different nature. So this isn't invalidating aromantic folks, this is just my personal experience in life. This is just me finding out that maybe being wrong about who I am isn't always only a bad thing, like it was when I was younger.

If you actually read all the way thanks for taking the time to just read through a random person's ramble. You're a real one.

[writerben01]

About A03 etiquette

So, I got a comment I thought was rude, and then spent a bit of time explaining why that is. And then it turned into 1000 words, which is long enough that I thought I'd share it for the whole class.

Below in image and transcript for convenience:

Comment:

Honestly, him hearing all that and still thinking he has to impress these garbage people is killing my interest in him as the MC. Combined with the sheer length between chapters and I can already see you dropping this work before he ever actually gets past this pathetic behavior. He has near limitless power but refuses to use it for himself but for 'parents' that treat him like roadkill.

My response:

This is kind of a rude comment. If you do keep reading, please pay more attention to the way you word your comments in the future or I may be forced to remove them. I'm not interested in a character that's been brainwashed his whole life to believe one thing and suddenly doing a 180 when the one person they've been allowed to view as an ally turns against them. I'm not interested in going from zero to complete power fantasy without all the steps in between.

Their response:

Not what I meant and I think you know that. I'm talking about how he's still entirely delusional after being outright told she wanted to kill him, thinking he should have just waited longer instead of that being an actual wake up moment, you kept in delusional. Also, I used zero swear words and said nothing rude, I just pointed out that this style of writing almost always gets dropped before the author actually gives the audience the pay of. You as an author have a limited window to gain and keep reader attention in our online age, you have to balance out the chapters being as satisfying as the wait indicates and I'm not feeling that with your MC. Take the criticism and use it to prove me wrong or just ignore it as 'rude', your choice.

My response

Okay, I'm going to assume good faith on your part so I'll explain further. There are multiple ways to let your thoughts known about a fanfic. There are bookmarks which can contain public reviews, there are posts on your own fanblog/discord/reddit posts that can spark discussion in public forums of your own community. The comment section of AO3 is usually seen as equivalent to fanmail (and that's how I'm treating it). A large part of that is the view that if you don't have anything nice to say about a fanfic, you don't say anything at all.

I would like to ask you to read your original comment again and imagine this from my perspective. I've spent somewhere between 10-20 hours writing this chapter, doing research and taking the effort to publish it online in proper formatting. This is free labour that I'm doing for my own enjoyment and I'm sharing it because I assume there are people like me out there who would find enjoyment in reading it. When I get to post another chapter, I'm excited and the only thing I'm hoping for in exchange is comments that will give me renewed energy and excitement to keep writing.

Do you think your comment achieved that effect?

The content of your comment reads to me as:

you think the way I'm writing my MC isn't interesting

you think I'm updating too slowly

you do not believe I'll keep working on this fanfic

you are frustrated with the choices the MC makes.

Being honest and vulnerable here, this comment hurts me. Criticism can hurt sometimes and that would be a me-problem. But I feel that this passes beyond subjectively hurtful into rudeness. It lacks any gratitude or introduction(That is, writing a letter without 'Dear X' is rude; writing a comment without some 'thanks' is rude too), and it lacks anything positive to counterbalance the criticism which is also considered rude. I don't feel like it invites me to explain and excitingly talk about my choices in writing this chapter, or what I've got in store. It makes me feel like I need to defend myself. And that does not spark joy.

Actually, let me just rewrite the comment into a form that's non-rude for comparison: "Thanks for the update! I mostly enjoyed it (especially the fight against Anko) but, honestly, him hearing all that and still thinking he has to impress these garbage people is making me lose my interest in him as the MC. And I have to admit I'm a little worried about whether this behaviour will be fixed while you're still working and publishing this story. It's so frustrating that he has near limitless power but refuses to use it for himself but for 'parents' that treat him like roadkill. What are your plans to make him take control of his own life?"

I don't mean to harp on, but I was hurt by your first comment, and you seemed hurt from me telling you I experienced it as rude, so I'm hoping this all explains where I'm coming from.

I'm happy to write and share my stories, and I'm happy to hear and respond to questions and criticism. But I do set certain boundaries. If you want me to respond to your comments (and maybe even change the story to accommodate your preferences; I do that for commenters all the time), you can't just leave a comment listing what you disliked and what you're worried about. When you do that, it makes me feel like a content machine getting feedback for the next iteration of content I'm spewing. That's what I mean when I say your comment is rude. You're fully entitled to have your opinions on my writing, but you need to follow basic etiquette if you want me to read and engage with it (and as warned, not having your comment deleted).

I get after all this you may not be interested in the response to your actual criticism, but I do feel like if you've made it this far I at least owe it to speak to your concerns.

Your repeated assertions that these kind of stories get dropped hits a nerve. It makes me feel like I need to somehow prove myself, as if my fanfic history doesn't speak for itself. I finished a 450k story last November after 5 years of consistent work. I have major anxiety about posting stories if I can't guarantee I'll be able to finish them, which is why I go overboard taking measures to facilitate me in that. I'm fully planning to see this story through. If that at any point changes, I'll be able to give a proper notice months in advance, and I'll still feel responsible to write some kind of satisfying ending (even if that has to be in the form of an outline).

As for the MC, I'm characterizing him as someone who is abused and traumatized. His mother tells him she wanted to kill him, and his main response is to find a way to blame himself. The implication I'm going for is that years of emotional abuse have conditioned him into blaming himself. Both because his mother would often put a lot of responsibility on him, and because abused children in general figure out strategies to minimise abuse and then blame themselves when they suffer. They can't control their abuser, but they can control themselves. They have to be perfect, while the mother can be so angry she yells she wanted to kill her own child, and MC is still able to excuse that.

I don't like calling this pathetic, and I'd sooner choose 'damaged' or 'lacking self worth'. And the story I'm interested in telling doesn't have the MC skipping over all of that as if its easy. I want to portray it as hard. He doesn't have a therapist to talk to, and it's not something he likes talking about to anyone else either. Especially since this whole thing has now wrapped around to the other significant event at the end of this chapter. I've just gotten around to him making some significant strides in this in chapter 10.

[deniigi]

Why are you upset that you have fans that have stuck with you throughout several fandoms? Is it not enough that they love what you produce so much to the point where they aren't bothered that something they aren't interested shows up in their feed? Do you expect all of your fans to consume the same thing that you do in order to be a 'true fan'? You may have written something personal to you, but it isn't personal at all to your fans from other fandoms.

What a fascinating response that has so little to do with that actual post I wrote and that so embodies the many reasons that I no longer write for my previous fandom.

That you think that I consider the people who follow me my 'fans' and not just people who have, for their own reasons and decisions, followed me on multiple platforms is what does it for me.

It really drives home how so many people involved in Marvel (but not just Marvel! Really in any fandom) have the tendency to imagine people who create transformative works as somehow the same as say, Youtube content creators or hosts of television shows.

It's like you expect me to put my humanity and frustrations in little boxes that are funny and enjoyable for you to read and if I don't do that, then I'm not fulfilling the 'service' that you signed up for.

When I don't produce enough content often enough, there comes to be a demand:

'when is this updating?'

'is this updating?'

'So sad this is discontinued!'

'Are you still working on this?'

'I miss your works.'

'I miss when you posted stuff like this.'

'This is such crack.'

'You got this character wrong.'

'Tell me how this character would react to X'

I very VERY rarely post about my experiences with other fandom folks on tumblr or any social media platforms outside a handful of discord servers. But those who are on those servers will understand how fucking terrible I felt when I began to lose interest in writing Team Red material. How I agonized over writing material outside of that group because I felt like I was letting people down.

These stories have been read by thousands of people and people tell me all the time that the work brightens their day or helped them through X suicidal moment or made them realize Y about themselves, and to be fully clear: that is exactly why I wrote those stories. I wanted to help people and I was in a position where I didn't feel that I was giving back to other people enough, so I helped them in the way that was available to me.

I wrote 150 stories to help people.

And I've been purposefully misinterpreted for writing those stories, I've been pressured by people to write things about CSA, told that my interpretations of characters are insufficient, told that I, a 28yo adult, am most definitely a teenager playing at writing--the list goes on and on.

And you come here and tell me that I should be grateful for the pressure, the insensitive comments, and the fact that I have 'fans' who support me in multiple fandoms.

Please do listen to yourself and think about how you would feel to be commodified.

How would you feel if you wrote something as a one-off, a bad day you had at the office, and you received 20 comments in a handful of hours while a story that you wrote about the ramifications of genocide and your relationship with objects of genocide received maybe 5?

These are not real numbers because I'm not that bitch, but the point that I'm making stands here.

I am not a 'content creator.' I don't have 'fans.' My audience, to me, are people who are 75% likely to be working through something that I too, am working through or that I have worked through.

They are people, unilaterally. And I try to give even those who treat me like ass the benefit of the doubt, like they're having bad days, like they're feeling powerless, like they don't want the escapism to end because life is just so fucking hard sometimes.

But I'm not going to let you tell me that my experience in fandom and online spaces can be reduced to this weird idea you've got in your head about dashboards and feeds and user experience.

I should be grateful? That people tolerate my other interests and my humanity?

Listen to yourself.

Nowhere in that post did I say that people have to have the same interests as me and me only. I said that I'm upset for being treated like me writing for another fandom is the equivalent of me abandoning a group of people or vanishing into the ether like some kind of weird Auntie remembered fondly by the smell of cigarette ash.

I'm disappointed to be treated like I'm missed when I'm standing right in front of you, honing my craft and deeply enjoying it.

All it would take to banish that feeling is for people to just modify their language and yet they do not. Because, again, Anon, like I am to you, I am apparently nothing more than a fucking service to them.

Anyways, to wrap this up before I get too angry: I don't do parasocial relationships. Please unfollow and block me if this is how you're going to engage with me and the works that I create and the occasional statement I make about my personal fucking experience with the world.

[ilici]

kitty, kitty, kitty.

Gogywasfound's 1K event here: click here !

Summary: You and Karl rarely argue, and the one time you do, he is streaming. So he punishes you, after he finishes his stream.

GN reader !

NSFW MINORS DNI !!

Warnings: Degrading, cat maid outfit, biting, gagging, choking.

Word Count: 2138

Karl was already in a bad mood from Quackity and Sapnap teasing him about his relationship with Y/N. They kept repeating, "Karl is a simp", "Karl's the bottom in the relationship for sure.", "I bet Karl literally whines when he doesn't have Y/N's attention." Finally after a while, he snapped at them telling them to quit. They did, noticing he wasn't joking, although twitch chat thought it would be funny to come up with the nickname, 'Whiney boy Karl'. Y/N on the other hand was watching his stream from their shared bedroom, and they found it hilarious as it was all true. Karl was the bottom in the relationship, he would always beg for attention and would turn bratty if Y/N ignored him, and Karl was indeed a simp.

Taking it upon themself to go and bother Karl personally, Y/N got up out of bed and made their way to Karl's streaming room. Karl's fans have seen Y/N on multiple occasions, whether it was them giving food to Karl, keeping Karl company while he streamed, or even joining him on the stream, it wasn't abnormal for Y/N to just randomly pop up. When Karl's door open, he cautiously looked over as Y/N entered the room with a mischievous glint in their eyes. When the two would argue, it would be once in a blue moon, as they knew each others limits and boundaries. But it was never a pretty sight when they argued, as Karl is one to never truly show his feelings, he would finally let them all out when he was arguing.

He would scream, cry, and even go as far as to ignoring them for days on end. Y/N was a different story, they never really showed much emotion when arguing, nor did they show it when they were not arguing. Y/N was not the best at showing emotions due to childhood trauma, which Karl soon helped on, to the point where Y/N would only show genuine happiness around Karl. Now was one of those moments, where Y/N showed their emotions, which was mischievous. Karl already didn't want to deal with their antics as he was still a bit upset from Quackity and Sapnap's bit. "Hi bubba." Y/N greeted, walking over to Karl, and sitting down on the floor. Karl nodded his head in acknowledgment, as he pretended to focus on Minecraft.

Not liking his reaction, Y/N rolled their eyes and spoke up, "What's this 'Whiney boy Karl' ordeal about?" They asked, already knowing the answer. They just wanted to get a reaction from him, and Karl shifted trying to contain his emotions. "I don't know, something chat made up." He said dryly, hoping Y/N would drop the subject. "Obviously, but how do they know you're whiney?" Y/N asked once more, and Karl closed his eyes inhaling sharply. "Shut up." He muttered under his breath, Y/N hearing, but the mic didn't pick it up. Taking this as an invitation, Y/N shrugged and looked around aimlessly, "But it's true, why are you getting so worked up?" They said, which caused Karl to slam his hand down on his desk.

"You really don't know when to shut up, do you?" He said, deathly calm, which shocked Y/N as he was always one to yell during their arguments. "What's wrong with telling the truth? You shouldn't lie to your fans." Y/N argued back, and Karl threw his headset off, which startled the two people that were in a call with him. "What the hell is going on over there?" Sapnap asked, as the two clicked on his stream to see what was happening. Karl had muted on discord, but forgot to mute his actual mic, so the stream could hear and see everything. "Oh? Tell the truth? Okay, sure." He scoffed, moving his gaming chair away from him roughly.

Y/N rolled their eyes, and flipped him off, "You are an asshole, I was joking around and you snapped on me. What the fuck is your problem?" They said, now angry, and Karl laughed shaking his head. "You know what you were doing. You came in here to purposely anger me." Karl said, stepping dangerously close to Y/N, "Holy shit, this is getting good." Quackity said, and Sapnap laughed a bit as he has witnessed a fight between the two before. "So what if I did?" Y/N said, grabbing Karl's shirt collar pulling him closer with a harsh glare. "I bet you did it because you're wanting me to fuck the absolute shit out of you." He whispered, so that his mic wouldn't pick it up, and Y/N visibly gulped.

"What the fuck did he say to them?" Quackity asked, and Sapnap hummed, "You may be short, but that isn't the only thing short on you. So is your temper." Sapnap said, making up random sentences as the two whispered between each other. "What if I want you to?" Y/N asked, looking at Karl's lips as he licked them hungrily. "Go get fucking dressed you attention whore." He whispered in their ear, and Y/N walked out of the room red faced. Everyone assumed it was from anger, but Karl knew what it was from. "Sorry guys, I gotta go. Y/N is having a tantrum because I've been streaming for 3 hours now." He said, before smirking, "Whose the whiney one now chat?" He asked, before he abruptly ended the stream leaving the call without a word.

Quickly making his way to the bedroom, Karl swung the door open to see Y/N in the maid outfit, adjusting the cat ears on their head. He smirked, and bit his bottom lip scanning their body. "What an adorable kitty you are." He said, and Y/N scoffed flipping him off, "Bite me, bitch." Y/N muttered under their breath, and Karl raised an eyebrow walking to them. Grabbing Y/N by their throat, he glared at them, as he reached behind pulling on their hair to make them look up at him as their height difference was by a whole foot. "Speak up kitty." He said, and Y/N winced looking Karl in the eyes, "I said, bite me, bitch." They said, daringly and Karl just chuckled.

"As you wish." He said, removing his hand from their neck, keeping the other tangled in their hair so their head was angled. Leaning down, he harshly bit their neck as Y/N let out a strangled mewl. "Fuck, that hurt." They said, trying to get out of his death grip. Karl being a lot stronger, they were stuck in his grip, as he kept biting around on their neck leaving prominent hickeys. "So pretty." He said, looking at his work on their neck. "On the bed, now." He demanded, and Y/N quickly listened not wanting to be punished more than they already were. Smirking at this Karl, slowly walked over as he adjusted them so they were on their hands and knees. "Ass up higher." He said, and Y/N arched their back.

Karl, was indeed the bottom in the relationship, but that doesn't mean he doesn't know how to be dominant. "Good kitty." He whispered, pulling down their underwear, and walked to the front of the bed, and forced their mouth open shoving their underwear inside their mouth gagging them. "Not a sound kitty." He said darkly, and Y/N nodded in understanding. Moving back, he moved the skirt up, showing their bare ass. He rubbed it lovingly, and slammed his hand down on it harshly to make sure, the underwear muffled the sounds. Smiling as he heard a muffled yelp, he slowly pulled his shirt off, and unzipped and unbuttoned his pants. Pulling them off, along with his boxers, he stepped out of them watching as Y/N squirmed around impatiently.

Getting on top of the bed, he gripped their hips roughly, knowing he'd leave bruises on them. Making sure they were prepared, he slowly entered in them, and he let out a satisfied moan when he bottomed out. Not moving, he waited for a signal, and once Y/N moved back against him for friction, he took that as the signal. Pulling out completely then slamming back in, he heard Y/N let out a surprised muffled moan. Repeating this action, he made sure to keep his pace even until he himself grew tired of it. Picking up his pace, he watched as Y/N was slowly reaching their high. Reaching forward he helped them reach it, "Cum for me, be the little whore you are and cum for me." He growled out, now ramming into them.

Letting out loud muffled moans, Y/N felt themself cum at his words, and they would've fell onto the bed if it wasn't for Karl's death grip on their hips keeping them up. Keeping his fast pace, he finally came inside of them, and pulled out watching as Y/N helplessly fell onto the bed tiredly. Smirking as he saw the white liquid slowly fall out, he smacked their ass again, this time softer. "You think we are done? Fuck no, get your ass up." He said, and grabbed their hips again, making sure to dig his nails into their skin. "Cat's have 9 lives, so you have 8 more rounds to go." He told them, and Y/N whined out, digging their face into the bed as he slammed back into them without a warning.

By the time it reached 4 A.M. Y/N was worn out, and sore, while Karl was just tired. Falling down beside Y/N he was breathing heavily, "What's wrong? Cat got your tongue?" He said, looking over at Y/N who was just staring at him in a haze. Chuckling he reached over, taking the cat ears off, "Now you know that I will bite back if it comes to it, literally." He said, and Y/N just let out a tired laugh, as they took off the maid outfit, limping to the bathroom to cleanse themself. Karl watched amused at their limping, "Seems like the cat couldn't land on all fours." He joked, and Y/N flipped him off from the bathroom.

"Will you shut up?" Y/N whined, and Karl got up walking into the bathroom, "Seems like someone didn't learn their lesson." He said, picking Y/N up, and walking into the bedroom throwing them down onto the bed harshly. "No- wait- I'm sorry." Y/N said quickly, and Karl looked at them, before he nodded. "Just rest up." He said, handing Y/N his shirt to put on. Putting it on happily, they laid down, Karl wrapping his arm around their waist. "Do you think they heard our argument?" Y/N asked, mainly thinking about if they heard the sexual parts or not. Karl chuckled, "I made sure they didn't hear those parts, don't worry. They probably heard everything else." He admitted, and Y/N nodded their head.

Y/N yawned tiredly, and soon fell asleep. Karl shortly fell asleep after, the two were soon awoken by a loud bang from their living room. Groaning, Y/N rubbed their eyes as they looked around confused, "Karl, someones in the house." They said, and Karl quickly got up walking out of their room to go into the living room. "Holy shit!" Karl yelled, and Y/N bolted out of the room, and found Karl on the floor, and a relieved Chris standing above him. "Oh my god Y/N I thought Karl murdered you!" He said, running over to you, and hugged you. Looking down at Karl confused, Karl shrugged in an answer, "I saw your guys argument, and when Karl or you didn't answer your phones for 12 hours straight, I thought one of you died." He said, and Karl laughed a bit.

Y/N scoffed and mumbled, "One of us did." Which Karl heard, and Chris looked at Y/N confused, "What?" He said, and Karl got up, "They probably got scared from you." He said, and Y/N nodded, "I thought me and Karl were going to be murdered, as it is 6 in the fucking morning Chris!" They yelled the last part, and Chris laughed sheepishly, "I was just worried about my baby cousin, alright?" He said, now embarrassed. "How the hell did you even get in?" Karl asked, and Chris pointed to the now shattered window, "Sorry about that.. I'll ask Jimmy to buy you a new one." He said, and Karl slapped Chris upside the head. "God you're so dumb, and you have a fucking son." Y/N said, rolling their eyes pinching the bridge of their nose.

[etceteraon]

losing heart | hjs

pairing: gamer!jisung x female reader

genre: f2l, fluff, romance, angst

warnings: slight language

word count: 10.2k

summary: after meeting and starting to date your close online friend of a few months, you start to realize that maybe you might have been better off staying online.

a/n: this is my first fic and I really hope it's enjoyable, I worked really hard on it and hope it meets any expectations. I also wanted to thank

@softbbyg0rl

for being so kind as to help me proofread this and actually help me expand upon it, I'm really thankful for their help and this probably wouldn't be half of what it is without them helping me out. I am indebted to them /j. I also had another friend help me read over this and I promised them a jeongin x reader in return, so expect that in the near future!

Video games had never been an issue for you before. You enjoyed them yourself normally, occupying yourself with various titles and genres of video games. Growing up you were known as the nerdy kid, finding interest in things that the other kids deemed ‘weird’. Really it was just that they were closed minded and couldn’t accept anything that was different or new. Anime and video games were entertaining, it didn't matter to you what other people thought about it. It was something that had helped you bond with some of your family members, and had helped you make a few friends over the years, one of them being your current boyfriend, Han Jisung.

The two of you had met online in a game you both enjoyed, Genshin Impact. Normally conversation in this game wasn’t much, just asking what the other needed and helping the other out with it. Things like domains, bosses, etc. After that was all said and done, you said your goodbyes and left, more than likely never encountering the other player ever again. When you and Jisung had met in the game however, things had gone much differently. It was only after about an hour of grinding domains that he had asked for your Discord, the two of you chatting on there for a few weeks before you both mustered up the courage to voice call. A few weeks after that, it was video calls. Only a couple months later, you two were very close friends, playing games and hanging out whenever you both had free time.

How quickly you two had clicked was a mystery to the both of you, but even your online friends were surprised at how fast you had let Han Jisung into your circle. Normally you were very particular about who you spoke to, let alone on a daily basis. Whenever you first met someone you usually spent the first few weeks getting a read on their personality and getting to know them before even thinking about actually getting close to them. It seemed Jisung had just rubbed off on you so quickly you hadn’t had a chance to actually go through your usual process.

When Jisung had suddenly brought up the idea of meeting in person just six months after first meeting each other online, it came as a shock to you, not expecting him to be the one to suggest it since you had learned he was actually an introvert despite his online persona. You had both learned that you lived relatively close to each other, having discussed where you lived previously. It was still about a two hour trip from your house though. Jisung of course had suggested he be the one to travel, but you didn’t want to cause him any more anxiety than he already had and told him you’d be more than willing to do the traveling.

A week was all it had taken for you to get on a bus and travel from your hometown to his. Jisung was texting you the entire ride there, clearly nervous with how many questions he was asking, probably wondering to himself if he should just call it all off. Your other online friends had gotten quite jealous since you hadn’t even met them yet, but you had to remind them just how much further away they were compared to him. They couldn’t argue with that. The two hour ride hadn’t felt long, your legs relieved to be standing upright as you exited the bus, holding your bag close as you looked around nervously. You had never done something like this before, and you honestly hadn’t even realized just how nervous you were up until now.

Scanning the busy sidewalk, you squinted, nibbling on your bottom lip as you struggled to focus, your heart slamming against your chest. Having to wear masks didn’t make things any easier, only being able to see the top half of people's faces really limited your ability to recognize someone you had only ever seen over the phone. After a few minutes, you had begun to wonder if Jisung had up and ditched you. Scrambling for your phone, you nearly dropped it, hissing as you unlocked it and looked over your messages with Jisung. He had said he was on his way to the bus stop a half an hour ago. It couldn’t take him that long could it?

About to call him, you walked over to the bench and sat yourself down, pressing the dial button and placing the phone up to your ear, looking around sheepishly, silently wondering if you were going to be ghosted and have to take another two hour drive home. Faintly you could hear the sound of a phone ringing, furrowing your eyebrows in confusion, you turned your attention to the source, seeing a rather short male with bleach blonde hair running towards the bus stop with a motorcycle helmet in hand. It was only moments before the male wearing all black actually reached the stop, looking around, locking eyes with you for a moment before pulling out his phone that was ringing and taking less than a second to look at the caller ID before answering.

“Y/n? I just got here- Where are you?” He questioned, nearly making you scoff into your phone’s receiver as you stood up, looking directly at him and cocking an eyebrow.

“Right in front of you.”

The slow turn and the look of realization was more than comical. Jisung’s eyes widening and then scrunching as he smiled under his mask. Hanging up the phone he slowly walked over, rubbing the back of his neck as he cleared his throat, shaking slightly with anxiety. “I uh, I’m sorry for getting here late. I kind of ran into an issue and had to do some last minute problem solving.” He explained, earning a head tilt from you. “What kind of problem?” You asked, wanting him to elaborate.

A quiet chuckle left his lips as he held up the motorcycle helmet he was holding, motioning back towards a bike that was parked on the side of the road. “I only had one. So I had to go and buy another.” You were sure your expression had matched Jisung’s from just moments before, in shock as you realized the motorcycle was his. If he was slow at realizing you were right in front of him, you were slow in realizing something much more obvious. “You never told me you drive a motorcycle…” You trailed off, Jisung nodding slowly in agreement.

“Ride a motorcycle but yeah. It never really came up and I’m not one of those people who constantly brags about riding one. It’s just a mode of transportation and happens to be cheaper than a car.” He shrugged, and honestly, you couldn’t argue with his reasoning. Clearing your throat, you shrugged your bag further up onto your shoulder, shifting your weight back and forth on your feet. “Well, I’m here. Now what?”

Jisung paused for a moment, seemingly processing your words before motioning towards his bike once more. “I figured we could go back to my place. I figured I’d order food since I’m not the best cook as you know. Almost burnt down my apartment on multiple occasions. My roommate is there, but he’s really chill. You’ve heard him every now and then on call or on mic. He normally keeps to himself, but I already told him about you coming and he doesn’t mind.” He stopped, thinking about whether or not that was everything he was wanting to say. “...Yeah. Unless you don’t feel comfortable with that of course. We can always go somewhere public and just hang out like that.” He offered, clearly not wanting to make you do anything you didn’t want to do.

“No, that sounds great.” You assured him, seeing his eyes scrunch as he smiled again, nodding happily. “Okay cool, let me just-” He stepped forward, getting alarmingly close and leaning forward. It felt as if your heart had stopped beating and the world was moving in slow motion around you. But before you could let your mind wander too far, Jisung placed the helmet he had been holding on your head, knocking you right out of your trance. “-ouch…” You mumbled, Jisung leaning back just slightly to look you in the eyes.

“Sorry, it’s kind of heavy, but it’ll keep your head intact.” He joked quietly, making sure everything was tight, locked and secure before stepping back and flipping the shield to cover your face, smirking slightly as he smacked the top of the helmet. “You good in there?”

Rolling your eyes, you flipped the shield back up to glare at him, smacking his arm as he laughed. “So you’re an ass in person too?” Jisung clicked his tongue before snapping his fingers and shooting finger guns at you. “You know it.” You were internally cringing, but before you could even think about teasing him for it, he was walking over to his bike and you had no choice but to follow, trailing behind him like a lost puppy.

You watched as he got on his bike, pulling his helmet on with ease and starting the engine, the loud sound making you flinch. If Jisung noticed this he didn’t comment on it, simply looking over at you and moving his head to the side, signaling for you to get on the bike. You had never rode one before, so this was a nerve wracking situation. What happened if you fell off? What if you got into an accident? Your mom had always told you just how dangerous motorcycles were. What if this was a bad idea?

Suddenly, Jisung was off of his bike and his hands were on your waist, lifting you up and onto the motorcycle, flipping your face shield back down before getting back on himself. He kicked the stand up so he was now balancing the bike himself. Looking back at you, he raised his voice so you could hear him over the sound of the motor. “I’d suggest you put your arms around me unless you wanna fall off.” Mean, but you knew he was just trying to tease you. You didn’t waste any time to wrap your arms securely around his waist, your head resting against his back. You swear you could feel him laugh as he flipped his face shield down, but you didn’t have any time to really think about it before he was off, riding down the streets of Incheon with you clinging to him for dear life.

The ride to his apartment felt like forever when in reality it only took a few minutes. Your grip on him hadn’t loosened in the slightest, far too afraid of falling from the motorcycle. Even after he had parked and turned off the engine, you were still sticking to him, an audible laugh leaving his lips as he took off his helmet. “You plan on letting go anytime soon?” He teased, you only shaking your head in response. He snickered before carefully prying your hands off of his waist, getting off of the bike and helping you off before taking your helmet and tilting his head slightly, noting your expression. “Was it that bad? I tried to be a little less reckless than normal.” His tone was joking, but you could tell he was genuinely concerned he had scared you.

“N-No it wasn’t that bad, just not used to it.” You assured him, stumbling slightly as you tried to take a step forward, his arms quickly reaching forward and holding you so you didn’t fall. “Jeez, we’re lucky you don’t have very far to walk.” Again with the teasing. You weren’t surprised by it though, Jisung had always been like that when you two talked. You scoffed, hanging on to his arm as you steadied yourself. “Shut up Ji. Where’s your place?” You questioned, Jisung smirking before leading you towards the building, letting you hang on to his arm without much thought. He didn’t seem bothered by it in the slightest despite having told you that physical contact made him nervous. You wondered what had changed. Carefully leading you inside and through the building, the both of you made it to his apartment, you finally letting go of him as he pulled out his keys and unlocked the door. If his roommate was home you weren’t sure why the door was locked, but you didn’t bother to question it as the door opened and Jisung motioned inside. “Ladies first.”

“When have you ever considered me a lady?” You joked, stepping into the apartment and looking around curiously, Jisung scoffing at your question as he shut the door behind the both of you. “Since always. You are one are you not?”

Shrugging, you didn’t answer his question, tugging at the straps on your bag as you walked further into the apartment. For some reason the decor didn’t really feel like it matched Jisung. After all, he had this whole e-boy/rocker look going on and you had fully expected the apartment to be messy and unorganized, but it was the complete opposite. It was clean, spotless even, and it made you wonder if he had cleaned simply because he knew you were coming to visit. Turning to look over your shoulder, Jisung smiled sheepishly, fiddling with a zipper on his leather jacket. “My roommate helped clean everything up. It doesn’t usually look like this.” He admitted, making you laugh and shake your head. “I figured as much.”

As if on cue, another male stepped out of a room in the hall, locking eyes with you and giving you a questioning look before noticing Jisung standing beside you, putting two and two together as a smile started to form on his face. “Oh, you must be Y/n-ssi.” He stated matter-of-factly, making his way down the hall towards the both of you and holding out his hand to you in greeting. You gingerly grasped his hand, smiling softly as he began to introduce himself while shaking your hand. “I’m Yang Jeongin, 01’ liner.”

Your eyes lit up at the realization that you were both the same age, “L/n Y/n, also 01’ liner.” You stated, watching as he relaxed a little realizing that he no longer needed to be so formal with you. The two of you let go of each other's hands, “Ah, well it’s nice to meet you Y/n. Jisung hyung has talked about you a lot.”

Raising an eyebrow, you glanced back at Jisung who smiled and shrugged as if to say he didn’t know what Jeongin was referring to. “I hope it was only good things.” You returned your attention to the male in front of you, watching as he chuckled and quickly nodded his head in agreement with your words. “Only good things. He’s always going on about how much he enjoys your company and how pr-”

“Yang Jeongin- '' Jisung cut him off suddenly, the younger male’s eyes widening before a mischievous smile crossed his face. The two males exchanged various expressions, you watching in confusion as they had a silent conversation with their faces. After a few moments, you cleared your throat, feeling awkward just standing between the two as they acted as if you weren’t right there. Snapping out of it, Jisung looked at you, quickly putting on a smile as he placed a hand on the small of your back, leading you towards the hall. “How about we hang out in my room, hm?”

“Wha- but I thought-” You trailed off, Jeongin following behind the two of you. “Seriously Jisung hyung? I thought we were all gonna hang out-” He mumbled, Jisung shaking his head as he practically pushed you into his room, stepping inside and shutting the door on Jeongin before the younger could hold it open. Locking it, Jisung turned to you, noticing your quizzical expression. He chuckled nervously, placing his hands in his pockets as he averted his gaze. “I just thought it might be better to hang out alone for a little while.” He stated, though his words sounded off, like he was only partly telling the truth.

You decided not to pry however, glancing at the door behind him. “What about Jeongin? He seemed upset.” Jisung shook his head, moving away from the door and closer to you. “He’ll be fine. He’s only being like that since we don’t normally have people over. After we hang out on our own for a while and go back out there he’ll forget about it.” He sounded so sure of himself that you had no reason not to believe him, nodding slowly as Jisung bit down on his bottom lip, seemingly debating something in his head.

“What’s up Ji?” You questioned, said male letting out a breathy laugh, not at all surprised that you had noticed something was going on in his head. “I uh- well I didn’t want to make it weird or anything but… I was wondering if I could give you a hug?” He sounded like he was nervous, and that suspicion was confirmed when you noticed how he was refusing to look at you, shifting back and forth on his feet. You found this cute, giggling quietly as you looked him over. You had just been practically glued to him while he was taking you back to his place on his motorcycle and now he was all shy and nervous because he wanted a hug?

Wordlessly, you crossed the remaining space between the two of you, wrapping your arms around his waist and looking up at him. Jisung tensed up slightly at your touch, remaining still for a moment before wrapping his arms around you, holding you close and resting his head on top of yours. “I made that weird didn’t I?” Snickering, you nodded, still keeping your hold on him but closing your eyes. “Just a little, but it’s fine. You make everything weird.”

An offended sound left his lips, earning a laugh from you as he pouted. “I do not make everything weird.” He mumbled, watching as you slowly pulled away and sat down on his bed, glancing around the room to actually take everything in. The decor in his room definitely made more sense, anime posters and figurines, manga, various instruments, LED lights adorning the ceiling, his gaming setup. It was all very Han Jisung. A light blush adorned Jisung’s cheeks as he cleared his throat and sat down beside you, nibbling the inside of his cheek. “Sailor Moon huh?” You teased, watching as his ears turned red with embarrassment.

“You’re gonna make me take all of this down right now I swear.” He huffed, eyeing you as you took your bag off and set it on the floor before falling back onto his bed, looking up at the ceiling and kicking your feet. “I think it’s cute. I like Sailor Moon too, she’s pretty.” You admitted, meeting his gaze to show that you were being honest.

“I mean, what’s not to like about her? She’s funny, sweet, caring, cute- plus she has a cute cat and super powers. Not only that but her outfit when she transforms is adorable. I’d wear that if I could.” You trailed off, watching as Jisung’s expression changed. You couldn’t read what it was, but there was a slight sparkle in his eyes as you spoke about his favorite anime character. “What are you thinking about?” You pondered, Jisung smiling as he snapped out of his trance, laying down beside you. “I just didn’t expect you to like Sailor Moon too. We never talked about that before so I didn’t even know you liked anime.” You considered his words before realizing that he was right, nodding slowly.

“I do. I watch it every now and then when I have time, but I grew up watching it. Dragon Ball Z, Sailor Moon, Naruto, the essentials.” The two of you talked about anime and your other interests besides gaming for a while, simply laying on Jisung’s bed as you both relaxed and spent time together, getting to know each other a little more. It was almost comical how easily you two got comfortable with each other despite having never met in person up until then. You both stayed there for about an hour before Jisung had brought up his music, asking you if you wanted to hear what he had been working on. Of course you obliged, sitting up as he grabbed his guitar and made his way back over, playing a few songs for you after getting over his initial nervousness to sing in front of you.

You praised him for how good he was at singing and playing the guitar, also mentioning just how thoughtful and beautiful his lyrics were. He turned bright red at your compliments, shaking his head as he put his guitar back, holding out his hand to you as he came back over, asking if you wanted to go out into the living room and watch some TV and order some food. Of course you agreed and took his hand, getting up and following him out of his room and into the living room where Jeongin was sitting, his eyes moving from the TV to the both of you. “Oh, are you finally gonna come out here and hang out?” You could tell he was upset, but not enough to cause his voice to sound angry.

Jisung simply nodded at his roommate, going over to the couch and scooting him over before sitting down himself and patting the empty spot beside him for you to sit. You made your way over to the two males, slowly sitting down as you looked at what Jeongin had been watching, some YouTuber playing a game you had never seen before. Looked like both of the boys were gamers, which made sense. Jisung took the remote from Jeongin, switching it from YouTube to Netflix and clicking his account before handing you the remote. “You can watch whatever you want.” He told you, pulling out his phone so he could order food, Jeongin looking over his shoulder as he mumbled to the older male what he felt like eating. You laughed quietly, shaking your head before returning your focus to the TV.

You picked out an animated movie you hadn’t seen in a while, reaching forward and setting the  TV remote down on the small table situated in front of the couch. Leaning back you noticed Jisung’s eyes glued to the TV, confused at his expression until Jeongin also looked up. “Ah, Jisung hyung watches this all the time. I think I’ve seen it at least twenty times.” He mumbled, your eyes widening as you leaned forward to grab the remote. “I can pick something else if you both have already seen this-” Jisung quickly reached forward, shaking his head as he took the remote and set it back down.

“No, it’s fine. If you want to watch it, we can watch it.” There was something different about his voice, but you couldn’t quite place what. Nodding, you went back to your previous sitting position, Jisung mumbling something you didn’t catch before handing you his phone. “What do you feel like eating?”

The three of you debated over what to eat for a while, mainly because you would suggest something, they would agree and you would go right back to asking them if they were really okay with what you had picked and then you were back to square one. Eventually you actually managed to decide on something, Jisung ordering for all three of you and then focusing on the movie. The three of you sat in silence, enjoying each other’s company. It was about halfway through the movie that the food arrived, Jeongin getting up before Jisung could, opening the door and thanking the delivery person before bringing the food in and shutting the door behind him. He quickly sorted out the food in the kitchen before bringing it all over, handing both you and Jisung yours before sitting down and starting to eat his own, not even bothering to wait or thank Jisung.

Giggling, you quietly thanked Jisung who shrugged it off, saying it wasn’t a big deal as he began to eat. The rest of the night was spent pretty much the same, the three of you watching various movies before Jeongin decided to retire for the night, saying goodnight to both you and Jisung before shutting himself in his room, leaving you and Jisung alone in the living room. Once the movie you were watching was over, Jisung cleared his throat, causing you to look over at him, feeling a little tired, but not trying to show it. Of course, it seemed like Jisung knew even with you trying to hide it, a soft smile on his lips as he slowly stood up. “You can sleep in my bed. I’ll take the couch.” Always the gentleman.

You opened your mouth to argue but he shook his head before you could, “I’m not letting you take the couch. So either you take the bed, or I end up on the floor. If you sleep on the couch I’m sleeping on the floor, so either way I’m not sleeping in my bed. Would you rather me sleep on the couch or the floor?” He didn’t give you much choice, but you knew he wasn’t bluffing. Groaning, you lifted yourself off the couch, ignoring his cheeky laugh as he led you back to his room, turning on the light and showing you where everything was in case you needed it. He then reminded you that he’d be on the couch in the event you needed him for anything, saying goodnight and giving you another hug before leaving his room and shutting the door to give you some privacy.

Everything felt like a daydream up until that point, a sigh leaving your lips now that you were alone in his bedroom. You locked the door so you could change into your nightclothes. After you had done so, you moved to unlock the door, your attention grabbed by an out of place manga just after. You walked over, picking it up and moving to put it back in its place, only for pages to fall out of it, your eyes widening when you thought you had accidentally ruined something of his, only to notice when going to pick them up that they were song lyrics and different ideas for songs. You felt like you were invading his privacy, quickly trying to stuff the pages back into the manga before your eyes fell upon your name. Furrowing your eyebrows, you couldn’t help but look over the page, eyes widening.

There was a knock on the bedroom door and before you could react Jisung was already in the room. “Sorry I forgot that I need to get my clothes-” He stopped once he caught sight of you, clearly in shock with how he simply stood there. You smiled sheepishly, placing the paper you held back into the manga and closing it. “I didn’t mean to look through it. I was going to put it up because I saw that it wasn’t where it was supposed to be and then a bunch of pages fell out.” You tried to explain, Jisung finally moved to take the manga from you, setting it back down on his desk before looking you in the eyes.

“You read it didn’t you?” His voice was calm, but you could tell by how quickly his eyes were scanning your face that he was anxious to hear your answer. Nodding, you bit down on your bottom lip, unsure of what to say or do. Jisung sighed, taking a step back and running a hand through his bleached locks, “God- I didn’t want you to find that… I meant to tell you, like actually tell you. I wanted to send you that song once I had finished it.” He mumbled, his admission making your cheeks heat up a little. So you weren’t reading too much into everything.

Reaching forward, you pulled Jisung into a hug, clearly surprising him as he squeaked in surprise. “Wh-” Before he could even finish his question, you interjected. “I like you too Ji.” It was simple, it was to the point, it was the truth.  You felt Jisung tense in your grip before relaxing completely only seconds later, pulling you closer to him as he let out a breathy chuckle. “So, I don’t need to send you that song?” He questioned, looking down at you as you smiled. “I’d still love to hear it.” Smiling, Jisung leaned down, pressing a kiss to your forehead. “I think I’ll finally be able to finish it now.”

That was how everything had started, and that was what got you here. Laying in your shared bed staring up at the ceiling as the subtle sound of clicking and the drag of a computer mouse filled the room. You weren’t sure how long you had been laying here, but it had been a while. Slowly, you turned your body to the side, seeing your boyfriend's back turned towards you, facing his monitors, headphones over his ears. You weren’t sure when was the last time the two of you had actually spent any time together. In between work and his constant gaming addiction, it seemed you were always left to occupy yourself. When you got back from your job, he was usually asleep, so you’d climb into bed with him and sleep yourself. Almost every time when you would get up, he’d either be gone or sitting at his desk and playing video games. That was when your dislike for video games began.

Today was no different it seemed, a quiet sigh leaving your lips as you reached over to your nightstand, picking up your phone and checking the time. It was late. Though you could have guessed that by how dark the room was, the LEDs on the ceiling the only thing illuminating the room. They had been Jisung’s idea, but you hadn’t objected since you figured it would be both of your living space and he ought to have some things of his own as well. You felt a sinking in your chest as you came to the realization that your fear was more than likely true. You had gone off to work that morning hoping, praying that Jisung would at least remember your birthday. But it seemed he hadn’t, far too engrossed in his video games to even notice you were awake.

Gulping, you pulled yourself off of the mattress, deciding you weren’t going to make a big scene. You left the bedroom in silence, going out to the small living room of the apartment and sitting yourself down on the couch in front of the TV. You could feel tears pricking at your eyes, but you wouldn’t let them fall. Reaching forward, you turned on the TV, figuring a distraction would help keep all of your emotions at bay. That or it would drown out the sound of you crying once you finally broke, knowing it was only a matter of time before that actually became reality. You didn’t even bother to actually pay attention to what you had put on the screen, merely turning up the volume as you pulled your knees up to your chest, lowering your head so you could no longer see.

You weren’t sure where things had gone wrong. Really, nothing had. You and Jisung had been very happy from the beginning, and you had no issues up until you both actually decided to move in together. You thought that living together would have actually made it easier on the both of you, not having to manage your work/life load as much. Trying to date while living two hours away from each other and having jobs on top of that made things harder, but now that you two were actually living in the same apartment, it felt like you actually spent less time with each other. Odd how that worked.

In the moment, you were tempted to just grab your things and leave, overwhelmed with the amount of emotions you were feeling. Anger, sadness, betrayal, loneliness… it was all just piling on. It probably didn’t help that you never expressed how you were feeling, pretending everything was just fine when you knew it wasn’t. You were just never one to create a problem, opting to just suffer than make anyone else uncomfortable or feel bad. The sound of someone knocking on the door had forced any tears that were about to fall back into your tear ducts. You knew Jisung couldn’t hear with his headphones on, so you begrudgingly picked yourself off of the sofa, sulking over to the door and prying it open, looking out with a dead expression up until your eyes met ones you hadn’t seen in months.

“Chan?” You breathed, unable to believe he was actually standing in front of your apartment. When you had moved in with Jisung, you had moved to Incheon in order to not make it hard on him. This had caused you to leave your family and friends behind, including your friend since middle school, Bang Chan. He always had impeccable timing. Beaming, Chan held out a box that held a cake in it, a present in his other hand as he tilted his head sweetly, his curls falling just slightly. “Happy birthday Y/n! Surprised you didn’t I?” He chuckled slightly, watching as you took a step back, a hand over your mouth as you tried to contain yourself.

It seemed to be just enough to send you over the edge however, tears spilling from your eyes before you could stop them, a broken sob leaving your lips as Chan’s happy expression quickly changed to one of concern. “Oh God-'' He didn’t even ask to be let in despite having never visited yours and Jisung’s apartment before, stepping in, he shut the door with his foot. It took him only seconds to find a place to set down the cake and present he held, bending down slightly as he held your arms and tried to look you in the eyes, seemingly searching them for an answer. “Y/n what’s wrong?” He had known you for so long, there was no getting out of this one.

He knew that you never cried in front of anyone unless something was really wrong. That or you had been holding in your emotions for too long. This time it happened to be both. You weren’t able to blame it on being happy to see him, he’d be able to tell you were lying immediately. God why had he decided to visit you now of all times? Sniffling, you tried your best to stop crying, shakily wiping away your tears before Chan wiped the remainder away with his thumb, arching an eyebrow as he awaited an answer.

“I-I just… God…” You fumbled over your words, not exactly sure how to explain what was going through your head to Chan. Of course, it seemed he could sense this, taking your wrist and leading you over to the couch you had previously been curled up on, sitting you both down and smiling softly. “You can take your time Y/n. I’m not gonna rush you. Just tell me what’s going on and why you’re so upset.” He always had to be so understanding and kind. You just weren’t sure if he would be as understanding and kind to your boyfriend after you told him what was bothering you. He had always been overprotective and had even tried to talk you out of moving in with Jisung in the first place.

“O-Okay well, it’s really not that big of a deal. It’s just Jisung and I haven’t been spending much time together lately. I’m just lonely and upset.” You mumbled, watching Chan’s jaw harden at the mention of Jisung, his eyes narrowing and growing dark as he tried to put the pieces together. There were things you weren’t telling him and he knew it. “Is he busy with work?” He questioned, your heart clenching. Chan really was just going to get to the root of the issue wasn’t he?

“He is sometimes…” You trailed off, nibbling on your bottom lip as you avoided Chan’s gaze. You hated it when he got angry. It was rare for him to do so, but when he did, he was terrifying. “What about other times?” His voice was cool and even, showing no signs of anger, but you knew better. You knew he was probably itching to get his hands on Jisung and in your mind you were wondering whether letting him in was a good idea.

“Well… when he gets back from work he usually sleeps or plays his games. When I get back from work he’s either at his job, sleeping or gaming. I mean, gaming is his form of stress relief so… I get it. It used to be mine so I can’t really be upset with him for that. I can’t be mad at him for sleeping or going to work either. It’s not that big of a deal.” You were making excuses for him and you knew it. But you didn’t want Chan to lose his cool. The thought was more scary than spending your birthday alone. “So he’s choosing video games over you.” Chan stated bluntly, anger creeping into his voice.

Slowly, you decided to look at him, only to see he wasn’t even looking at you now, but rather around the apartment, one of his fists clenched as he tapped his foot against the hardwood floor. You didn’t respond to his statement, so it was only a few moments before he looked you in the eyes, giving you a look that told you to correct him if he was wrong. You searched your mind for something, anything, but you came up with nothing, gulping as you slowly lowered your head, sighing shakily. “I-I guess.” You whispered, feeling your body grow cold as you admitted it to yourself aloud. Chan cleared his throat, nodding as he looked around the apartment once again. “Is he at work right now?” The silence that filled the apartment was his only indication of that, but when you looked around, unsure, he could tell that he was wrong in his assumption.

“He’s here right now isn’t he?” He scoffed, the anger he had been holding back making a swift appearance as he got to his feet. Eyes widening, you quickly grabbed onto your friend's arm, knowing he could easily overpower you and do what he wanted, but he wouldn’t. He may know you like the back of his hand, but you knew him just as well. “Chan please. Don’t make this a big thing. I’m already upset and things getting out of hand is only going to make it worse.”

“Y/n-” Chan started, looking back at you, anger fading as he looked into your eyes, knowing that ultimately he was going to do whatever it was you asked of him. “Can I just talk to him? You and I both know that you don’t deserve to be treated like this.” He bargained, only causing you to shake your head in disagreement. “You know for a fact that you won’t be able to hold yourself back if you ‘just talk to him’.” You gave him a knowing look and he simply huffed, averting his gaze. He knew you were right.

“You brought cake right? How about we just have that and hang out? That’d make me feel better.” Chan’s tension had eased slightly at your request, taking a deep breath as he nodded, deciding he was simply going to appease you since it was your birthday after all. Getting off of the couch, Chan grabbed the cake and present he had set down in a hurry, going into the kitchen and setting it down once again. You followed shortly after him, looking over as he opened the box, a soft smile gracing your lips. He had remembered your favorite color. “It’s very pretty.” You praised. Chan clicked his tongue as he opened a pack of candles, starting to place them on the top of the cake. “Of course it is, I picked it out.” He teased, causing you to roll your eyes and smack his arm. “God you’re annoying.”

Snickering he shrugged his shoulders, pulling a lighter out of his pocket and carefully lighting the candles. “Yet you still miss me. Crazy how that works.” Looks like you two were right back to how you had always been. He wasn’t wrong though, you had really missed him. Being pulled away from everything you knew just for Jisung had been hard, but it had been something you were willing to do for your relationship. One you weren’t even sure was there anymore. Pulling you from your thoughts, Chan started singing. His voice had always been amazing. After he had finished, you blew out the candles, Chan grinning and ruffling your hair before pulling out the candles and starting to search the kitchen for something to cut the cake with. “So, what did you wish for?”

He always asked that question. Every single birthday of yours without fail. You always responded with the same thing. “You know I can’t tell you that. If I tell you it won’t come true.” Laughing, Chan shook his head, amazed that you still stuck by that. “You actually think that matters?” He questioned, earning a nod from you as you opened the drawer that held your kitchen utensils, pulling out a knife and handing it to Chan who thanked you before getting to work on cutting the cake. “Have any of your wishes come true that you haven’t told anyone about?” He pondered, the question making you think back on your previous birthday wishes.

“Mmm, there have been a few actually.” Chan gave you a questioning look, pausing as he did so. “Like what? Since they’ve already happened you should be able to tell me right?” You considered it before figuring that he was probably right, pulling out two plates and forks before sitting yourself down on one of the barstools that were placed along the island in the kitchen. “For my sixteenth birthday I wished for a skateboard and I ended up getting it that day.” You stated, Chan smirking as he continued to cut the cake, shaking his head.

“Maybe because you had been bugging your parents for it for a whole year. Only to never use it despite me telling you I’d teach you how to ride it.” He added in the last part just to chastise you, placing a piece of cake on a plate before handing it to you along with a fork. “I highly doubt that had anything to do with your wish.” You rolled your eyes as you took a bite of cake, humming quietly. He had remembered your favorite flavor of cake too. Of course he had.

“You don’t have to hate on me for believing in birthday wishes just because you don’t Chan. I get it, you’re too grown up to believe in something silly and childish like birthday wishes.” You could tell he got slightly irked by your words, scoffing as he got himself a piece of cake. “That’s not even it-”

“Then what is it?” You cut him off before he could finish, tilting your head slightly as you stared at him. Chan slowly took a bite of cake, looking you in the eyes, considering his next words carefully. “None of my birthday wishes ever came true. So I stopped believing in things like that. I think it’s endearing that you still do though.” He admitted, causing you to frown. “None of them? Not one?” You questioned, Chan seeming to think back on it as he stood there in silence, looking down at the cake. “Mm, I guess there was one that came true?” He sounded unsure, but you leaned forward in your seat, smiling as you waited for him to elaborate.

“I think it was my eighth birthday? The memory is kind of foggy, but I remember wishing for another sibling. It’s kind of dumb now that I think about it, but it did come true.” He shrugged, looking back up at you as you giggled while taking another bite of cake. “I’d say that’s a pretty big wish. The stars probably just figured that wish was enough for a while.” Chan rolled his eyes, snickering as he shook his head. “Yeah sure, whatever you say Y/n.”

The two of you enjoyed each other’s presence for a while, seeming to forget about the issue at hand which was exactly what you had been wanting. Not wanting to confront it or make a big deal out of anything. Chan was helping you ignore your problems and you were more than grateful, the male stating that he wanted to watch you open the present he had got you, so you both moved from the kitchen to the living room, the TV still playing whatever it was you had put on. Gingerly, Chan set the present on your lap, waiting patiently for you to open it.

You had always gotten nervous when it came to opening gifts. You were never a fan of surprises and presents were just wrapped surprises. Slowly, you pulled the tissue paper out of the bag, peeking inside. Your eyes widened once you realized what it was he had gotten you, gasping as you practically ripped it out of the bag, looking it over with wide eyes. “Oh my god- This is so expensive Chan. You really shouldn’t have.” You pried your eyes from the present to meet his gaze, seeing just how happy he was with your reaction to the gift. “I knew you’d like it. I’m sure you’ve been eyeing it for a while now. You always do that with the new lines.” He stated, making you nod in agreement.

“I actually had this in my cart for when I could afford it. It still scares me how well you know me. I never even told you about the new line.” Chan simply shrugged, acting as if it was no big deal. “What can I say, I’m just that good.” He chuckled, already leaning back as you reached forward to smack him.

For a few hours the two of you just sat and talked, not even realizing just how late it was getting. The two of you were making up for lost time, only able to talk over the phone or text, sometimes video call depending on just how busy the two of you were. Life as a producer was busy, that was also part of the reason you were so surprised he had shown up at your front door. It was the last thing you had been expecting. Just like you hadn’t been expecting Jisung to leave your bedroom. It seemed he and Chan had noticed each other’s presence before you had even noticed Jisung, standing silently in the hallway as he looked between the two of you. You immediately turned your gaze to Chan, seeing the look that was on his face before had returned. That wasn’t good.

“Who is that-?” Jisung finally spoke, looking at you with confusion and slight fear. It was then you remembered that Jisung and Chan had never officially met, your eyes widening as you motioned over to your childhood friend. “Chan. Bang Chan. I’ve told you about him, remember? My best friend since middle school.” You explained, Jisung’s expression growing more relaxed as he slowly nodded, remembering discussing him before. “Ah, yeah. We’ve never met before.” Jisung smiled, making his way over to the couch and holding out his hand.

Chan stared at it for a moment before deciding not to be a total ass. He took his hand and shook it, gripping it tightly before paying Jisung a sickeningly sweet smile. “No we haven’t. I’m sorry for not telling you before coming over but I thought I’d surprise Y/n for her birthday.” There it was. You had been expecting him to say something, but you hadn’t been expecting him to say it right out of the gate like that. Confusion was written on Jisung’s face for a moment before his eyes widened in realization, his gaze quickly flitting to yours. “O-Oh…” It seemed he finally understood the tension coming from Chan.

Slowly you lowered your gaze, fiddling with the present Chan had gotten you. Jisung took a moment to look at it before looking to the kitchen, seeing the cake sitting on the counter. “Y/n… I’m… I-I didn’t realize…” He stammered, unsure of what to say or do. After all, there wasn’t much he could do now. “It’s fine.” You mumbled out, forcing a smile as you looked up at him, hating to see just how upset and guilty he looked. Chan on the other hand, wasn’t having it.

“Look, I know it’s our first time meeting and Y/n told me not to make a scene, so I won’t. However, it’s not fine. You should know Y/n well enough to know that she doesn’t like to voice what’s upsetting her. You may be busy with work, or stressed, or whatever, but you ignoring her for your video games is something that shouldn’t be happening. Forgetting her birthday? Don’t you think that’s a little much? Do you see the problem? Y/n shouldn’t have to beg you for attention. You should be paying attention to your girlfriend regardless of what your work life is like and if you can’t handle that, you shouldn’t be stringing her along. She doesn’t deserve that and you know it.” His words were harsh and to the point, but he got across what he wanted to. Jisung gulped, biting on his lower lip as he rubbed the back of his neck.

“You’re right.” Jisung mumbled, hanging his head. “I’ve gotten so absorbed in gaming because of stress from work, but that’s not an excuse. I should have been paying more attention to Y/n, so much more attention. I-I honestly can’t believe I forgot her birthday. I didn’t even realize just how bad I was getting… I just…” He sighed, stopping himself as he turned from Chan to look at you, taking a few steps closer before bending down slightly to look you in the eyes. “I’m so sorry Y/n. Really I am. I don’t have any excuses. How I’ve been treating you is wrong and I realize that. I promise I’ll change.” He spoke softly, searching your eyes as he apologized.

You could tell he was being genuine, seeing tears pricking at his eyes as he spoke to you. “You’d better or I’ll come right back here and take her home with me.” Chan muttered, causing you to roll your eyes at him. “Chan-” You chided, earning a sigh from him as he stood up, placing his hands in the air as a sign of defeat as he made his way into the kitchen. “Sorry, I’ll give you guys a minute.” It was clear he didn’t want to, but he would do it for you.

Sighing quietly once Chan had left the room, you looked to Jisung and patted the part of the couch Chan had just been sitting on, waiting for Jisung to take his place before sitting crisscrossed and facing him. “Ji… I’m not gonna lie and say I’m not upset. I am. I’m really upset. I had honestly thought that you would pull through and remember my birthday but you didn’t. It honestly felt like a stab to the heart. However, I’m also not going to say you’re completely at fault since I haven’t been honest and voiced how I was feeling to you. Keeping quiet and just letting things get worse was my own doing and I’m sorry I didn’t communicate with you.” You mumbled, Jisung furrowing his eyebrows and shaking his head as he reached forward, taking hold of both of your hands. “Hey, no. You’re not taking the blame for this. You shouldn’t be apologizing to me when you haven’t done anything wrong. You never once forgot anything important to me and I forgot your birthday. That’s huge and I’m gonna be apologizing for it forever. I should have realized what I was doing to you. That was my fault not yours, okay?”

You frowned, getting ready to disagree. “I’m not budging on this one. You have no reason to be apologizing to me. You know I’m right.” You didn’t, but you weren’t going to argue with him. Once Jisung saw you were done trying to blame yourself, he sighed, leaning forward and pressing a kiss to your forehead, the memory of the day you had first met in person coming back to you. “I’m really really sorry and I’m gonna make it up to you somehow, I promise.” You hummed, closing your eyes as Jisung pulled you into his chest. This was more contact than you had with him over the past few months.

“You’re making a lot of promises tonight Han Jisung.” You mumbled, wrapping your arms around him and looking up as he nodded in agreement. “I know, but I plan to keep them. I’m going to change and I’m going to make it up to you.” Smiling faintly, you hummed again, not wanting to say anything else as you rested against your boyfriend's chest, closing your eyes as you allowed yourself to relish in his presence. You hadn’t fully forgiven him, you were sure he knew that as well, but you were just glad the biggest thing was out of the way and you wouldn’t have to tiptoe around the issue anymore. The rest of it would be him regaining your trust and fulfilling his promises. “Happy birthday baby.” A quiet mumble left Jisung’s lips as he kissed the top of your head, earning a smile from you.

“Technically her birthday has already passed. It’s nearly two in the morning.” Chan suddenly cut in, causing both you and Jisung to turn and look at him, you with a glare and Jisung with a questioning gaze. “Sorry, I couldn’t help myself. I see you two have made up for the most part so uh, seeing as I traveled two hours to get here, you both mind if I crash on the couch?” You opened your mouth to speak, but Jisung beat you to it. “Sure, it actually pulls out into a bed since my old roommate comes over sometimes and crashes. I can set it up for you.” His sudden agreement surprised you, but you decided not to question it, Chan nodding as he motioned towards the door.

“Cool. My stuff’s in my car so I’ll be back.” He then left without another word, Jisung watching him go before looking back at you. “Am I sleeping on the floor then?” He questioned, causing you to roll your eyes. “Ji, when have I ever made you sleep on the couch or anything like that?”

He smiled faintly, shrugging his shoulders as he lifted himself off the couch before helping you up. “Well technically the first day we met.” Shaking your head you went to the kitchen, putting the cake and everything else away as Jisung moved things around in the living room before pulling the couch out into a bed. “You were the one that didn’t let me sleep on the couch. I was going to, but you forced me to sleep on your bed.” As Jisung was fixing the pillows, Chan walked back into the apartment, this time locking the door behind him. He set his things down by the couch, giving Jisung a sideways look when their eyes met. “What-?” Jisung trailed off, looking down at the bed before looking back up at Chan.

“Blankets?” Jisung’s eyes widened. “Oh. Oh yeah right, sorry.” He swiftly turned and walked down the hall towards the small closet that held clean blankets and pillows they kept aside. From the kitchen, you gave Chan a look that told him to knock it off, the male deciding to act like he had no idea what you were looking at him like that for. Jisung returned with blankets in hand, setting them down on the bed. “There, is this enough?” He questioned, Chan looking them over for a moment before simply nodding. “Yeah, that’s fine.” No thank you, no ounce of appreciation in his voice.

Jisung cleared his throat, nodding slowly before turning around and making his way into the kitchen where you were cleaning up and telling you that he’d do it. It took a bit of convincing, but eventually he had kicked you out of the kitchen, finishing up by himself. You huffed as you went over to Chan who was fixing his bed for the night. “You know you don’t have to be such an ass to him. He apologized.” You mumbled, keeping your voice quiet so Jisung didn’t hear. Chan sighed, straightening out the blankets before grabbing his bag and setting it on the bed, looking through his things. “I’m still pissed at him. He’s lucky I didn’t beat him into the ground. The only reason I didn’t is because you told me not to.”

“And I appreciate that, but he is still my boyfriend and I would like for you two to get along. I don’t want to have to play mediator any time you two are around each other.” There was silence for a moment before Chan sighed, nodding in agreement. “Fine. I’ll tone it down.” Smiling, you gave him a small hug, “Thank you.” You peeped, him only groaning in acknowledgement.

“Where’s your bathroom so I can change?” You showed him to the bathroom before starting back down the hall towards the kitchen, only to meet Jisung halfway, him holding your gift from Chan in his arm, folded nicely. He lifted it, smiling sheepishly. “He’s really good with gifts huh? I know you’ve been eyeing this thing since the new line came out.” You were genuinely surprised he had known that since he had been so preoccupied the last few months. Your eyebrows furrowed in confusion and he seemed to notice. “You leave your tabs open a lot on your laptop. When I wake up for work you usually leave it out, so I noticed that you were looking at it fairly often.” He explained, your eyes widening slightly. “Oh… I didn’t even realize.” You half-whispered, Jisung chuckling quietly.

“I’ll go put this up.” He smiled before brushing past you and into your room. Chan left the bathroom only moments after, changed into a t-shirt and sweatpants much like Jisung had been wearing as long as you’d been awake. “You should sleep. It’s late.” He spoke, causing you to nod before watching him make his way down the hall towards the living room. “Are you going to sleep?” You asked, knowing that he had issues sleeping, always had.

“I’m gonna try, but don’t let me keep you up. I’ll be fine out here, I’m a grown man you know.” He teased, earning a quiet laugh from you. “Okay, well thank you for everything tonight Chan. I really appreciate it.” Turning, he smiled, his signature dimple smile. “No need to thank me. I just expect you to travel two hours for my birthday now. I’ve set the bar high.”

Your playful banter went on for a while longer before you both said goodnight and you retired to your shared room with Jisung. Stepping inside you shut the door behind you, immediately noticing Jisung busy unplugging all of his gaming stuff. Your eyes widened, “Ji- This isn’t… I didn’t mean you had to-” You couldn’t even form words, Jisung turning to look back at you. “I know. I just think it would be best for me to stop completely for now. Get things back in order before I even think about introducing this back into my life. It got way out of hand and I don’t want that to happen again. So I’m prioritizing.”

“B-But that’s… don’t you think it’s too much?” Your voice was quiet, unsure as Jisung shook his head, unplugging one final cord and picking himself up off of the floor, dusting himself off. “No. Considering I’ve put you on the side burner for months now, I think it’s more than enough. Gaming will always be there, but I don’t want to lose you because of it.” Shifting uncomfortably, you picked at your fingers, unsure about the whole thing. Jisung walked over, pulling you into his arms and resting his head on top of yours. “I’m sure about this okay? So don’t worry about it.”

“Okay…” You trailed off, deciding that if it was Jisung’s decision, you didn’t have any reason to argue with him. “Okay. Well, how about we go to sleep, and since you’re off tomorrow, I can take tomorrow off, probably call in sick-- and we can go do something, just me and you? There’s a fashion show downtown I believe. You can wear your new present from Chan and you’ll be the best dressed person, along with the best looking. Then we can go out to eat, or before. Whatever you wanna do baby.” Smiling you relaxed in his grasp, “That sounds great Ji.”

[bastillewolf]

Hey I know you probably have like a billion requests already but maybe you could do something where the reader is good friends with corpse (maybe with some unspoken feelings) and they ask him to visit their country side home lmao-

I'm really embarrassed about asking this and I know it sounds strange but being out in the country side can be really good for mental health and I just want this boi to heal--

I'm so sorry hahah

Thanks

That’s not strange at all, darling!! I love this ask! I’m so sorry it took me so long to answer this, my mental health hasn’t been very good lately. I suppose I found this ask rather appropriate and I guess that’s why I liked writing it so much. Hope you enjoy!

Sunrise, Sunset - Oneshot

Pairings: Corpse Husband / Reader.

“Yo,” is the first thing you hear as you open your Discord. It’s not his regular greeting, and he sounds more tired than usual.

“What’s up?” you asked curiously. “Everything okay? Haven’t talked to you in a while.”

“I know, I’m sorry. I got really busy.”

“I can tell from your voice,” you chuckled. It had more of a rasp to it- if that was even possible.

“Yea, I can’t do too much for too long. I love that I’m able to work on music now, but it exhausts my voice so much that I can’t even stream sometimes.”

“Maybe you should take a break,” you comment.

“Probably. It’s almost done, so then I can stream more,” he replies.

“That’s not what I meant.”

“Hm?”

“I’m talking about an actual break, from everything.”

You hear him exhale deeply as if he’d already been considering it himself. “That does sound very nice.”

“I know, I always have the best ideas.”

“You do, except you forgot about the fact that I can’t really go anywhere. I mean, I’d love to take a break, but if I just sit here at home, I’m gonna either end up doing nothing or start working anyways. I don’t see me relaxing that way.”

“I didn’t forget about anything; I just hadn’t gotten to that part yet.”

“Oh?”

You’d be lying if you said that noise didn’t make you blush. “Remember how I said I live in the countryside? You know, it’s quite cosy here, and I have a guest bedroom to spare. If you want, but only if you’re comfortable with it, you could come over.”

It was quiet for a moment and your poor nerves were wondering if you’d said something completely wrong. You knew how he was about his privacy, but you’d figured that having known each other for a more than a few months now, you’d be at a point where you’d become actual friends, especially considering you always talked over Discord. At least, when he wasn’t busy.

“I... You wouldn’t mind?” he asked softly.

“Of course not!” You immediately replied, trying your best to make him feel as welcome as possible. “It’ll be so much fun! I was just worried you wouldn’t feel comfortable with it, otherwise, I would’ve invited you over a lot sooner.”

“Really?” he asked.

“Yes! I’m always looking for people to take care of my chickens.”

“You have chickens?” he sputtered.

“Sure do. And that was a joke, by the way.”

He didn’t really give you much time to prepare. He’d instantly asked if he could come over in two days, which meant you had to clean, do the groceries, and have another mental breakdown within that short time.

When he did arrive at your relatively small but homely cottage, you knew that even if you’d had more time, you still wouldn’t have felt like you’d prepared enough. You were incredibly nervous, especially as the cab slowed to a nerve-wracking speed until it finally stopped in front of your little wooden fence that really couldn’t keep anyone out of your garden because it was so ramshackle.

You nod your head to the driver politely, who got out of the car to unload a bag from the trunk. Then, the door opened, ringed fingers sliding across the yellow polish on the metal framing. He pulled himself up and out, finally allowing you to take a good look at his face.

His hair was dark and curly, as to be expected from what you’d seen in the pictures, though you could barely see it underneath the hood he’d pulled up. His dark brown eyes immediately found yours, and a shy smile graced his lips, which you bashfully returned with a small wave. It made you want to hit yourself multiple times. He paid the cabby and thanked him, allowing you to take a good look at his attire, at his frame, at his whole being. He was wearing a black hoodie with some chains around it, along with dark baggy trousers and, go figure, black sneakers. He was slightly slouching, probably so the driver wouldn’t be able to make out his face in its entirety, but overall he looked lean, even while his face was more pale and tired, with dark circles surrounding his eyes.

He locked the creaky wooden fence behind him, quickly closing the distance between you two with only a few strides. He dropped his backpack on the floor, saying, “hi.” “Hey,” you replied with that stupid smile still on your face and now quite possibly a hint of red dusting your cheeks. He just chuckled at the slight awkwardness of the situation, before wrapping his arms around you in a warm hug. He smelled like nice cologne, and he gave really good hugs. It said a lot that you could tell that from just the one. “Thanks for letting me come over,” he muttered, finally allowing himself to sound as exhausted as he looked.

“I told you, it’s nothing.”

When you met his eyes again as he pulled back, you knew he was quietly telling you that it meant more to him than that. Feeling shy under his dark gaze, you shook your head, saying, “Come on, let me show you around.”

It wasn’t that big of a tour, but it was home and it was comfortable, so you never felt embarrassed about it. You made enough money, to be fair, from your career through YouTube, but you’d never really had the heart to leave the house. At least you had a guest bedroom, and the garden was something to dream of. To trade that in for a bit more storage space would be such a pity.

“-and this is going to be your room, for however long you wish to stay,” you finish with a flourish of your hand. He set his suitcase down on the freshly made bed and nodded, glancing around for a bit before his eyes landed back on you. “Did I tell you how much I appreciate you doing this for me?”

You huff, “Once or twice now.”

“I’ll be off your back in a few days, don’t worry. I think I just needed to get out of my stuffy apartment for a bit.”

“Stay as long as you’d like,” you told him assuredly, “I know how stressful it can be and I haven’t even been through what you have. I can’t imagine what it must be like.”

He shrugs, “I have my ups and downs. It’s mostly my health issues and anxiety holding me back.”

“Well, I hope you can relax a bit here, then. People seem to feel more at ease without a bustling city around them,” you said.

He glanced out the window and nodded. “Yeah, I immediately noticed it as I got out of the car. It’s so... quiet here. And the air, of course. It’s so much nicer.”

“I usually take walks in the early mornings. You should come along sometime if you’d like. The sunrise is always really pretty when you get up on the hill.”

The corners of his lips quirked up. “I’d like that.”

“Great,” you replied, clapping your hands together, “I’ll let you get settled and start dinner. The uh- the bathroom is shared, I left a stack of towels on the rack so you can use those.”

“Thanks, I really appreciate it.”

You nodded shyly, silently closing the door behind you as you stepped into the hall. You let out a deep sigh and leaned back against the wall, pressing the backs of your hands against your cheek in a vain attempt to cool down the heat and tone down the redness. You couldn’t remember the last time you’d reacted this way but the times you’d spend talking about everything and nothing with Corpse through Discord calls that lasted until the early mornings. You knew you shouldn’t be feeling this way. You didn’t want to risk the friendship you had with him, but the tingling that had sprouted in your gut the moment he’d gotten out of that car told you that this was going to be hard.

 You knocked on his door quietly, afraid you were accidentally going to wake him when he didn’t want to be awoken. You didn’t know what kind of morning person he’d be, but he told you yesterday that he wanted to join you for your walk today. And while you were going to leave half an hour later than usual because it took you that long to work up the courage to knock on his door, meaning you were going to have to hurry a bit to catch the sun rising, you were still scared he was going to react grouchily. But when he opened the door, already dressed and ready to go, you realized you’d foolishly forgotten that this wasn’t just anyone, but that this was one of your friends; someone you already knew, even if it hadn’t been physically. Of course, he’d open the door with a smile, even though he looked more tired than the day before, which worried you.

“How did you sleep?” You made it evident in your tone that you were rather scared to ask the question, but it made him chuckle.

“I think you already know the answer to that. I don’t sleep well in general, so don’t worry. It has nothing to do with the bed or your hospitality.”

“Well, if there’s anything I can do for you, I don’t mind being woken up.”

He shook his head as he followed you downstairs and out the front door. “To be fair, I slept more than I usually would, but your rooster woke me up.”

You laughed, “Yea, I’m sorry, but I can’t do anything about that.” You held the wooden fence gate open for him, following him to the grass field until you were walking next to him. You silently picked up your pace a bit, worrying that you might miss the sunrise when you had promised it to him.

“I know, I know,” he replied amusedly, “Can we go see them later? The chickens?”

“Sure,” you smiled, “I also have a few ducks. You’ll love them, they’ll try to rip the shoelaces from your feet.”

“Sounds great.”

The walk to the hill wasn’t too far, but the hill was quite steep, which was always an exercise for people who walked with you for the first time, so you’d figured he’d start trailing behind you after some time. Thing is, he started trailing behind relatively earlier than you had expected him to.

Glancing back over your shoulder, you called out, “you good? We’re almost there.”

He nodded, though you could see him slightly panting, and you turned around to jog up the last bit until you reached the top. You could see a sliver of light start to peek over the horizon, making you glance back to see how far away he was.

But instead of having moved forward, he was now sort of slouched over, holding his stomach as he panted loudly. “Shit,” you cursed yourself as you sprinted back down until you skidded to a stop in front of him. “Are you okay? I’m so sorry, I should have slowed down-“

“It’s fine,” he waved you off, slowly catching his breath. “I can do it, I just take a bit longer.”

“I’ll carry you if I have to. I got us into this mess.”

He chuckled, but it sounded a bit hoarse.

“Come on,” you said. He furrowed his brow in confusion but followed you anyway. Walking along the side of the hill was tricky, but you made it around without any issues. He was able to keep up this time and gratefully plopped down on the grass beside you, just in time to watch the sun fully appear from behind the horizon.

“Holy shit,” he breathed.

“Yea, it never really gets old.” You laid down, feeling twigs of grass tickle the bareback of your neck.

He joined you, scooting a bit closer until your arms were brushing against each other. You couldn’t tell if he’d done it on purpose, so you acted like it hadn’t affected you, keeping your eyes fixed on the sky above you. At least, you tried. They flickered when you felt fingertips graze across your lower arm until they reached your palm, where his nails slowly dragged along your skin until his warm digits intertwined with yours. His rings felt cool against the heat and tingling you were suddenly feeling in your hand. He didn’t let go of you, not as you laid there for what seemed like hours, nor during the entire walk back.

‘Is this what friends do?’ you were silently asking yourself, watching the ducks try to free his shoes from its laces, ‘is this what friends do when they need support? Is this his way of coping, or is it-‘ You quickly shook the thought away. Of course, he wouldn’t think of you that way. He probably did stuff like this with all his friends. You knew how playful he could get, his guy friends included.

Yeah, it was just that. It had to be.

You were both laid back on the couch that night, stuffed to the brink with the famous lasagne you’d put together. The TV was on, but it sounded more like static noise in the background. “I think I can just fall asleep right here,” you hummed. The glass of red wine you’d shared – because neither of you could handle liquor – had created a pleasant buzz between the two of you.

“That seems a lot less comfortable than your bed.”

“You don’t know a thing about my bed,” you huffed indignantly.

It was quiet for a moment then, a sliver of tension seeping through the warmth of your home. “I think it’s probably about as comfortable as mine, otherwise you’re treating your guests too much,” he replied.

“I don’t know,” you admitted, “I’ve actually never slept in the guest bedroom. I might just be treating my guests too much and I’d never even know about it.”

He suddenly sat up and turned the TV off. “Come on,” he said and was already up the stairs by the time you’d made an attempt to move.

When finally reached the upstairs and were about to round the corner, you were suddenly picked up and slung over his shoulder, causing you to let out a loud shriek. “Corpse!” you laughed, “Please put me down!”

“You were taking too long,” he grumbled, dropping you down on the bed unceremoniously. He shuffled over until he was laying down next to you and lifted the covers up until it reached your neck.

“So?” he asked.

You had your eyes closed. “I might be treating my guests too much.”

He snorted. “Fucking knew it,” which made you laugh.

You laid there for quite a while, not really caring if either of you fell asleep with your regular clothes still on. “Hey Corpse?”

He hummed.

“I’m really glad you came. It gets lonely over here sometimes.”

He shifted, but because it was so dark you couldn’t really see what he was doing. Suddenly though, you felt him hovering over you, his elbows resting on either side of your face as his hand reached across to move a strand of hair to the side. He leaned down and hesitantly, his lips barely touched yours, a silent question if this was okay. You moved back against him, your hand finding his cheek in the darkness. His kisses were gentle, but passionate, which made your breaths heavier and deeper. When you pulled apart, you were both breathing heavily, mostly from the tension that had arisen.

“I really like you,” you admitted.

“Good,” he replied, wrapping his arms around you until you were tucked against his chest. You hit his arm playfully, “Cocky bastard.”

You hear the smirk in his voice as he said goodnight.

TAG LIST CLOSED!

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[rhaenyra-first-of-her-name]

So for those ridiculous antis who hate on Sansa in the first book with those idiotic ideas that she was somehow “a mean, evil bully who beat up her sister” are just laughable, not once was she ever mean or a bully to Arya or call her names. And literally the ONLY time she was, was after the murder of her Direwolf. She was grieving and stuck in a hard place when she knew she couldn’t go against her future in-laws. And the only reason she went to Cersei was because she was manipulated 1/2

It's quite long so under the cut.

So for those ridiculous antis

Pal, you say as if I am hosting an Anti Sansa club here, which I ain't. None that I know of anyway. Idk why you are referring to other people here. Never mind. Moving on.

Who hate on Sansa in the first book

Hate is a strong word. Let's go with dislike for the moment; I am not in the mood to introspect my feelings for characters that I, at the very least, dislike.

By who, you mean, everyone who has good reading comprehension? Because AGOT Sansa is a pretty dislikable character. After all, Martin created her to be a foil to Arya and sow discord amongst the Starks. That was her primary function in the first book and she did it well. People disliking her seems to be the direct and intentional result of Martin's writing. You might wanna take it up with him instead, Pal.

After Ned's arrest and death, Martin did wrote her in more sympathetic light, given her position in King's Landing but that doesn't erase what happened up until that point. You can't begrudge people for remembering what happened.

With those idiotic ideas that she was somehow "a mean, evil bully who beat up her sister" are just laughable

I only agree with, being a bully and mean to her sister, part. Rest(beating up) didn't happen. Thus, those claims, are indeed laughable. Pal, I am gonna need receipts for calling Sansa evil because I haven't seen it, I haven't done it and my friends/mutuals haven't done it, to the best of my knowledge. People calling Dany and Arya evil, I have seen plenty of that, against my wish, I would like to add.

Not once was she ever mean or a bully to Arya or call her names.

This is where you are 100% wrong, Pal. Arya stans have already made multiple posts about it but since it's apparently too much trouble for you, let me show you the receipts anyway.

She bit her lip, groping for another name. Lommy had called her Lumpyhead, Sansa used Horseface, and her father's men once dubbed her Arya Underfoot, but she did not think any of those were the sort of name he wanted.

ACOK - Arya IX

Emphasis is mine. Arya still remembers this in ADWD.

To her sister and sister's friends and all the rest, she had just been Arya Horseface.

ADWD - The Blind Girl

Theon remembers it as well.

"Arya Underfoot. Your sister used to call you Arya Horseface."

ADWD - The Prince of Winterfell

Wishing death on your sister should definitely count somewhere.

"You're horrible," she screamed at her sister. "They should have killed you instead of Lady!"

AGOT - Sansa lll

After Arya tried to comfort Sansa on the prospect of returning to WF:

"Hodor!" Sansa yelled. "You ought to marry Hodor, you're just like him, stupid and hairy and ugly!" 

AGOT - Sansa lll

Apparently Arya losing her direwolf wasn't enough either

Sansa blamed Arya and told her that it should have been Nymeria who died.

AGOT - Eddard IV

We also have this lovely comment.

"She hates that I'm going to marry the prince. She tries to spoil everything, Father, she can't stand for anything to be beautiful or nice or splendid."

AGOT - Sansa lll

And this lovely moment as well.

Arya raised her eyes. “I’m sorry, Father. I was wrong and I beg my sweet sister’s forgiveness.”

Sansa was so startled that for a moment she was speechless. Finally she found her voice. “What about my dress?”

“Maybe…I could wash it,” Arya said doubtfully.

“Washing won’t do any good,” Sansa said. “Not if you scrubbed all day and all night. The silk is ruined.”

“Then I’ll…make you a new one,” Arya said.

Sansa threw back her head in disdain. “You? You couldn’t sew a dress fit to clean the pigsties.”

AGOT - Sansa lll

This mean little comment as well

Arya was chewing at her lip in that disgusting way she had. “Can we take Syrio back with us?”

“Who cares about your stupid dancing master?” Sansa flared.

AGOT - Sansa lll

I think these should suffice. Sansa was a bully and she did called Arya names and that wasn't the worst of it either.

And literally the ONLY time she was, was after the murder of her Direwolf. She was grieving.

First of all, it's either only once or not even once.

That's an excuse? Grief is an excuse?

Seriously? Grief never gives a person leave to fucking say anything to someone.

Sure, grief is a terrible thing. People do regrettable things in grief but that's no excuse.

And Sansa never even regrets it. This is what Sansa had to say about this incident to Ned.

"Arya started it," Sansa said quickly, anxious to have the first word. "She called me a liar and threw an orange at me and spoiled my dress, the ivory silk, the one Queen Cersei gave me when I was betrothed to Prince Joffrey. She hates that I'm going to marry the prince. She tries to spoil everything, Father, she can't stand for anything to be beautiful or nice or splendid."

AGOT - Sansa lll

Sansa wasn't the only person grieving here either. Arya lost a friend and her direwolf. She's isn't yelling at Sansa that she should die.

On top of it, Arya is the only one who made any apology.

What's next, Catelyn was right to say tell Jon that he should have fell instead of Bran? A lot of characters do things in grief but it's not supposed to excuse them. This is just the first example in my head.

and stuck in a hard place when she knew she couldn't go against her future in laws.

I am sure the thought didn't even crossed her mind, as far as I remember from her chapters, but sure, give me the receipts, Pal.

Sansa was comfortable blaming Arya and literally everyone and everything except Joffrey. Even after all he did: he scarred a boy and swung a sword at her sister in front of her eyes, he lied which led to her direwolf being killed.

Initially she blamed Cersei for it but with time and little to no effort on Cersei 's part, she shifted the blame entirely to Arya.

Seems like a habit of hers, blaming Arya for everything.

Future in laws? Ned gave her a way out when he wanted to break her betrothal and send her to WF. It was her choice to go to Cersei.

The fact of the matter is, Sansa never wanted to do anything against the Lannisters. Not that she knew she couldn't.

And the only reason she went to Cersei was because she was manipulated

The only reason she went to Cersei is that she wanted to stay at King's Landing and marry Joffrey.

“Father, I only just now remembered, I can’t go away, I’m to marry Prince Joffrey.” She tried to smile bravely for him. “I love him, Father, I truly truly do, I love him as much as Queen Naerys loved Prince Aemon the Dragonknight, as much as Jonquil loved Ser Florian. I want to be his queen and have his babies.”

AGOT - Sansa lll

I admit Cersei was definitely trying to manipulate Sansa. It was a shit attempt imo, killing her pet/direwolf didn't help Cersei. I surprised Sansa even trusted her with anything. Joffrey put more of an effort to play the gallant prince for her.

Sansa is the one who went to Cersei, nor the other way around. She definitely presented that opportunity to Cersei.

You have to question her good sense when she went to the person who killed her wolf.

Cersei 's manipulation is more along the line of playing the regal queen and using Sansa 's desire to marry Joffrey.

And the fact that Ned kept things from her so she didn't know what was going on, he only told Arya what was happening.

I would ask for the receipts but this is 100% false.

What things do you think Ned kept from her? What did she didn't know? What did he told only Arya and not Sansa? Do tell me and prove me wrong. I would be happy to correct my stance.

Ned called both Sansa and Arya together, he told them everything together. Arya didn't know anything about the situation that Sansa didn't.

Their father sighed. “I did not call you here to talk of dresses. I’m sending you both back to Winterfell.”

.

Father’s mouth twitched strangely. “Sansa, I’m not sending you away for fighting, though the gods know I’m sick of you two squabbling. I want you back in Winterfell for your own safety. Three of my men were cut down like dogs not a league from where we sit, and what does Robert do? He goes hunting.”

.

“Sweet one,” her father said gently, “listen to me. When you’re old enough, I will make you a match with a high lord who’s worthy of you, someone brave and gentle and strong. This match with Joffrey was a terrible mistake. That boy is no Prince Aemon, you must believe me.”

.

To the girls he said, “I am looking for a fast trading galley to take you home. These days, the sea is safer than the kingsroad. You will sail as soon as I can find a proper ship, with Septa Mordane and a complement of guards…and yes, with Syrio Forel, if he agrees to enter my service. But say nothing of this. It’s better if no one knows of our plans. We’ll talk again tomorrow.”

AGOT - Sansa lll

Pal, you should really read Sansa lll of AGOT again. Oh, the irony.

If he was honest with Sansa from the start then things would have been very different.

Which lies? Which dishonesty? Do tell me. Give me the receipts.

Ned had been nothing but honest with Sansa.

If you mean the fact about Joffrey being Jaime's son instead, I can't frankly think why he must tell that to a 11 year old. Also, Ned just realized the fact just before sending them both. He needed time to wrap his head around it.

He didn't tell that to Arya either. He didn't tell that to most people bcoz such things aren't to be broadcasted to everyone, least of all, children. What would even be the point of telling this to Sansa? Why wasn't killing her direwolf and her father's men and attacking her father not enough reason for an 11 year old? Do tell.

He did tell her how unsafe it was in KL and how Joffrey wasn't a suitable match, it was more than enough information.

But yeah go ahead and blame an eleven year old CHILD for all the events that happened.

You say this in a fandom where 9 year old Arya and 13 year old Dany are frequently blamed for things that aren't in their control.

When most of the protagonists are b/w the ages 8-15, they're gonna be judged. Sansa isn't special and thus exempt in this regard. So please don't play the age and child card to me. There are all children here.

Therefore, I am going to blame Sansa for her own actions.

Unless every other underage character is gonna be judged, I am sure as hell is going to judge Sansa.

And then ignore all her amazing characterization in all the next books.

You do realize a switch wasn't made at the end of AGOT which changed her personality.

Character growth is a slow thing.

I have never ignored it. It's always refreshing since it's not her boring perfect fanon version.

I have quite some thoughts on it and would be happy to discuss as I don't know what are you exactly referring to.

And ignore how most of Martell fans are fans of Sansa, including Aegonbeingfakeisracist.

*long sigh*

I hope you asked their permission before dropping their name here

I am aware of the fact

Plus

Pal, I am not a sheep to be prodded by a shepherd. I don't need external validation for my own opinions.

I know that the combination of my opinions is somewhat uncommon in the fandom.

I don't live under a rock. I am very well aware of what's happening in the fandom and what's is it like. Don't presume my ignorance, again. Just because I don't talk about some stuff I don't like, doesn't mean I don't know about its existence.

Since you mentioned a third person, well I agree and disagree with some of their opinions. That's all.

Anyone, even Martin himself, doesn't hold any authority over what my opinions should be about any of the characters. I am very much capable of forming my opinions and defending them, if I want to.

I don't care about what the majority of the fandom likes. I am not here to agree with their opinion just because of their numbers or how easier it's.

I am here to have a nice time and I will have it on my terms.

Thank you for taking the time to send this longass ask, I hope the answer was long enough for you. /s

[nichimgriff]

besonders das letzte Foto ist voll schön! sieht aus als hättest du ne gute Zeit gehabt ☺️

Dankeschön! Und danke für die Nachricht ❤️

Ja, es hat sich so extrem gelohnt dort so spontan hin zu fahren! Auch so viele tolle Leute aus dem discord dort getroffen ❤️

basically, they posted a story that they will do a signing session at 4pm I think and I had so little energy that day but the more I thought about it the more I knew I'd never forgive myself if I did not go there. looked up train connections and I would arrive there with about 15 minutes to spare if I left immediately.

yeah well, all the trains to cologne were standing still for one whole hour and it was hot as hell and extremely full once we had to squeeze multiple train loads into the first train that was allowed to leave to cologne.

the moment I finally arrived there and recognised people I felt so relieved, they said it was really visible 😂 was so anxious the whole time that they might be gone when I arrive because the session was only planned for half an hour and I was going to be an hour late.

packed some sticker (Wednesday meme frog with the text "fck nazis my dudes, but in German) at home to give to them but could only find two once I got there, so I gave one to Kevin and then offered the other one to David, Daniel and Danskimo and Daniel took it, but Kevin was happier about it I guess xD

talked to Kevin so much and he was so lovely and even weeks later I would just randomly think back to it and smile stupidly :3

told him about my way there and he was amazed I made that trip just to get there. we also looked each other in the eyes for a few seconds without talking and I was so close to get lost in them 😅 told him I was still a baby fan and it was so great to see them in real life and he said it was great to see us as well ❤️

then we took the pictures and he asked me for my name, made sure to write it correctly, and put a heart next to it ♥️

gotta admit I paid too little attention to the others but I was still so flashed by the encounter with Kevin and I didn't know enough about the others yet so I got an autograph by all of them but only really talked to Nico, asked him for a selfie and he said "of course!" smiled and got up to stand next to me while I was trying to talk about my trip there and the person taking the pics was already doing so while I wasn't ready yet and you can totally see it in the pictures. so happy I have at least one pic I was actually smiling on xD

I kind of made my face in those pictures into a meme with some friends, because I'm literally looking like I'm thinking "ew Nico, someone please take me back to Kevin" while he is all sweetheart, smiling and being cute 😂😂😂

loooove looking back to those pictures, even helped me research for a fic I'm currently working on :D

Also talked to Kevin about memes and he's pretty much the reason I started the meme pages on Instagram and he has shared one edit I made into his story, a reel we posted as well and generally has liked so many of our posts already and aaaah I just love him ❤️

and because this is getting long have another pic of that day that I love so much: (excuse my everything 😅)

[goatlingsvent]

I understand what y'all are saying in regards to Kris being a human person with a life outside of the game as her job and limited resources at the moment. I agree 100%. That isn't the issue though.

I think the following perfectly encapsulates my point regarding her bad management and especially her lack of communication: For those of you in the Discord that have been watching the site suggestions channel, remember all those months ago when multiple users discussed adding more gender options in the profile settings because we can really only choose male, female, and other right now? Well not too long after a mod decided to bring this up with Kris, and she added the nonbinary option in the settings.

That's where the story would end if that's all that happened. I honestly don't remember if it was "announced" by a mod in the channel but I do remember them letting us know that option had been added. Me and many others were excited... until we realized the option isn't functional. Now flash forward through the next few months. Every so often someone asks in the mod help channel or goat help channel if anyone else is experiencing an issue where they cannot save their gender as nonbinary on their profile. Each time this is asked no staff respond, and usually, another user will point out that they have the same issue and thought it was just a problem on their end.

Recently, when pressed on the matter on the mod help channel, a mod let us know that they didn't know this was an issue (fair and understandable as they did not implement this setting and it's probably not something kris said anything about to her literal staff). So we are told to submit a support ticket. Again, fair. Maybe no one else has done so yet. A few minutes after submitting a ticket a mod then says in the server that Krisgoat added the option to the list but did not know how to make it functional as she needs the site's coder to do so.

Let me remind you this "option" was added at least 3 months prior to this conversation. Ideally functionality would have been added within 24 hrs of the nonbinary option being added. But, as many have pointed out, things take time and energy and skill and just because something is ideal doesn't mean it's realistic. But you wanna know what is realistic?

"Hey guys so I'm happy to say we are planning on adding a nonbinary option for your gender in the settings, so if you go check you can see it as an option on the list! Unfortunately it will not function/save as such at the moment because some coding needs to be done to make it so. I will make an announcement when this is fixed/fully implemented. Thank you for your suggestions on how to make our game better as we value your feedback and are always working to improve ❤"

Instead we've gotten crickets on her end while players continue to think they are the only one experiencing this issue even though Kris just...didn't fully add it into the game yet. It's frustrating to feel like it's your fault as a player that something isn't working. And it's confusing to try and get answers about it only to find that other people have been having the same problem, with no word from any staff on what's going on. (Btw just being general here. As I said before this is not staff's fault or responsibility. Kris is the one running the show here.)

Anyway that was about 8 days ago. I sent in a support ticket the day this went down. I am still "awaiting response".

I don't expect Kris to do the impossible. I expect her to do the bare minimum. She's an adult.

-👁

🍫

[sideshow-wolfie]

Coming Out...

I've been happy with these terms for so long, I feel like I need to express it to you... Even if it felt a bit painful...

I'm proud to announce that I'm Genderfluid. I've been having a Gender Dysphoria for a long time, since 2 months into my Sophomore (11th) year, and I finally found out who I truley was... Previously I was Demigirl, meaning I was full girl, but different. THAT didn't suit me anymore as I got to February... I just went off as genderless, Aka Nonbinary. Nonbinary suited me for a little bit, until that wasn't the case either as Spring Break started. I looked through the information, and I finally found out why my Gender Identity changed constantly... In the end of April I discovered I was Genderfluid... What does that mean?

My gender identity changes around infinitely, and it concludes that my gender was never meant to be confirmed.... I was previously a girl, but I'm fine with They/Them Pronouns. ❤️

Here's an example:

Day 1: Nonbinary

Day 2: Bigender

Day 3: Pangender

Day 4: Demigirl

Day 5: Transgender

and the gender list goes on and mixes around everyweek and day.

Lastly, for the gender part, I have been connected to wolves for so long.. both mentally and physically.. so long that I did not realize what I was until now. (I was like this all the way back in 2012, when I was in elementary)

I kept thinking I was something else. I constantly howled when I'm home alone, and that I wish I had someone to do it with me... And I bark, like other wolves or werewolves...

Not that I'm Genderfluid, but I am also WolfGender. WolfGender means that I connect with Lycanthrope/Wolf/Werewolf Life, and that I was a wolf in the first place...

I have been questioning to myself if I was always going to be with a boy, girl, whoever else, or remain single for the rest of my life when I was a girl...

In 2014, I had watched a show that eventually made me feel this... attraction to people.

You guessed it...

Inanimate Insanity

But so to let you know, it is NOT season 1. It is season 2.

The character that started to make me attracted to a gender was Microphone... Microphone was a hyped contestant, but eventually things got deep for her... I had loved this character for 6 1/2 years, and I kept constantly drawing her as a werewolf... Whenever I drew Mic, I felt happy. When I was 10 years old, I got a T-Shirt of her... My god I felt like life was complete ❤️

Throughout Middle School, I have had my first relationship with someone... Zero was my first crush that I had ever hung out. However, long story short, we broke up due to multiple toxic reasons (Involving me, and It was my fault...).

That took me a whole year to move on, and breakups aren't that easy to get over sometimes. I thought I couldn't be happy anymore, until I found Cory...

Cory was also a girl, like how I was... We both met on deviantart, and we would always hang out with each other. We both liked the same thing, and we like the same kinks (Aagh, I apologize for mentioning!!), But they weren't NSFW, don't worry! Me and Them would always chat on Discord... But then I developed a crush on them... Cory felt suprised when I told them how I was starting to feel... It had been 2 years since I fell in love with someone, and I was happy that the feeling came back.

However, we didn't start a relationship just yet... and was called off early a week after I told them in March, due to the fact they were shy... I understood that feeling. What honestly almost lost my future was the prom. Originally, Cory DID have a prom date to celebrate their night, but he cheated on them for another female... When they told me that he cheated on them, I knew It was time for me to become who I was meant for...

I wanted to be a Lesbian for the rest of my life... And it was my time to have that chance again... I was NOT desperate, but I wanted to make our future into a perfect never-ending chapter... We got together in April 2020 (during the COVID-19 pandemic), and I am happy to announce that we are still a couple! Though there ARE a few changes...

Cory eventually became Genderqueer and Bisexual, because they fell in love with a person (which is now a girl), and... I kinda felt anxious, but hey, it's all settled... Cuz, love is love.

I became Genderfluid, but I mainly identified as a boy, and considered to myself as Gay (I still did NOT want to be reminded of my previous relationship with Zero nor the Guy that had used me for Sexual Assault).

Both of us had felt more... And I realize that Love can and will be infinite 💙❤️🖤♾

So Everyone, Yes I am gay, but I'm also Polyamorous! Unfortunately it IS illegal in the United States, so this is why I'm not telling my school or my family about this... They do accept me for being Gay, but not the Polyamorous part. Again, I'm not telling them I'm Poly, in order to keep myself from being attacked and teased.

To Finalize my Coming Out Blog, I am also feeling attracted to something else... Kinda like how I fell in love with Microphone, but was from another show.

The show was called The Simpsons.

The Simpsons is one of the oldest animated sitcoms, yet it is still the funniest hits I had ever watched from Fox. Without them, I wouldn't have typed this final part...

However, I was not attracted to Marge, Homer, Lisa or anybody... In fact I was in love with a phsycopath... It isn't Snake Jailbird, or Homer's Killer...

I'm In love with Sideshow Bob (Robert Terwilliger).

At that moment when I felt flattered whenever he spoke, or was shown in some scenes of the show (old and new seasons, EXCEPT FOR HIS OLDER APPEARENCE)... I had drawn him for the first time, but it was kinda crappy, because I never drew a Simpsons character in my life. When I was younger I drew Itchy and Scratchy... For a while I stopped... I had a crush on both Itchy and Scratchy... Now it's that Palm Tree Haired Cutie. ❤️

I suddenly got curious if it was possible to love an character like him as a babe... Google gave me and answer, and It found out what my puzzle was.. it's not Bisexual, which I kinda figured...

Apparently, I am Fictosexual. I am in love with animated characters, whether from an adult animated show, teen animated, and POSSIBLY all-family animated show... Which Technically for me, I would always lay my heart on Bob's.

In Conclusion, it's ok to love who you care about, and what you care about, and it is okay to be true to yourself. You can be who you are, and who you think will make you happier, even if it is animated X3

Happy Pride, everyone! YOU ARE ALL VALID!!

#LoveIsLove