#i told her that it wouldnt matter if she was becuase it wouldnt change the fact that shes an amazing person
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feeling just so heartbroken thinking about smth my baby sister said earlier
#she asked me if she was fat and just.#ik she was asking bc she was worried she was and thought it would be a bad thing if she was#and just like. shes only seven years old ik that this shit is forced on kids from a young age but its so upsetting hearing it directly#this isnt even the first time shes been worried about/asked about this but its just esp upsetting to me today#i think bc she was talking about a rude girl in her class just before#i told her that it wouldnt matter if she was becuase it wouldnt change the fact that shes an amazing person#but idk if it got thru to her and i feel like i shld have said more. idk#also this bit makes me really mad she said she asked out mother about it#and her responce was to take her weight and height and show her that she was a 'healthy' weight#like just. shes fucking seven shes not asking bc shes concerned about her health shes asking bc she feels like it makes her lesser if she#is fat when all you tell her is that shes not fat your just reinforcing the idea that if she does gain weight thats a bad thing#also the idea of healthy weight is bs#idk like. its my mum im not surprised based on how shes treated me her actually fat child but its still so upsetting#like just. so fucking shitty this is why i have to fucking. get out of here !!!!#but also why i feel rly guilty abt the idea of leaving bc id be leaving behind my siblings#like they deserve better than this nd ik if im gone they wld loose a huge source of actual support which they dont get#from our parents#+ i wuld miss them. a lot#but at the same time like. i cant fucking stay here !!! idk#whatever. getting v sad+scared thinking abt the future. so ill stop#vent#flappy rambles#tw fatphobia#edit: also im too tired to find the studies rn on a vent post but i swear tht like. its proven talking to kids abt their wight at all#has a negative impact esp with taking their weight so like. wtf fuck my mum omfg
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fuck sam walmarts
and fuck management
I’ve had it. Left the store in tears tonight.
as some peoople probably/hopefully know. walmart closes at 6 pm on christmas eve. no one actually gets to leave at 6 becuase of shitty last minute customers. but it is what it is.
this. is really personal but im honestly SO close to just. killing myself? so who cares
basically. had a really really bad last few days. spent a lovely time with family (jessies family, his oma and opa and sister and parents and it was just a great time. theyre more family to me than most of my blood family) but it did make me Sad in Deep ways as we dont know if this is going to be our last christmas with his oma who isnt doing so good. and it just twisted me up a little but was othewrsiwse a great day. but then sunday i just...had a huge breakdown in the morning and decided to use my accomodation (i get 2 excused absenses a month) to cool down and gte myself together. slept a lot. woke up adn got a lot done, felt great, then i CRASHED really really bad, got really angry, lashed otu, took like...8-10 sleeping pills...theyre horrific things and im never doing that again...had to sleep for two days after that...felt horrifically sick, in pain, just awful. had repeating nightmares over and over. which has also been wearing me down recently. wasnt able to work monday either because i still couldnt stand and between the pills and the depression/anxiety and really just. felt like the world was ending.
decided sometime last night id just...try my best to make it in today, work my shift (really long 9-6, knowing i wouldnt leave on time nad htisis my first time working in 5 days now...which is rough...) and if i can get through this, i have another couple days off in a row after that (schedules fault, not mine...do feel awful i missed 3 days before that though...) and we can just. get back on track
today i DID go to work, jessie drove me in
i worked. a long time. im supposed to get a break every 2 hours and a 1 hour lunch
i gott my first break on timeish.
then i got my lunch 6 hours after i got in. at which time i got “locked out” for not taking my lunch and coudlnt do anything on the registers. i was supposed to get it 4 hours in. its christmas eve and excruciating and im still in pain and tired from my previous days breakdowns, but otherwise?? i did really good. i didnt mind at all that my lunch was so late. i was a little miffed, but its ok. i dont care, so long as i get it eventually. anyway they FINALLY noticed i was locked out and got me coverage and i ended my lunch at 4. things continued ok. worked on self checkout, met a lot of regulars i really like, prevented $200 of theft (HAHA WOW that was really really funny i love preventing petty theft. i prevent so much theft every week its my pride and joy) just did okay. then they had us close self checkout that took a little while. then at 5:00-5:10 or so i went to my Manager/Supervisor/”““People LEad” as walmart is now trying to call them, lets call her manager Y, and i told her i still need my break and will i get it before i leave. she said go to register 4. i asked again hey will i get my break though and she said yeah and i thought to mysel HAHA thats not going to happen but ok
really stupid that after bieng locked out the first time she couldnt give me my break before i openned a register with a line i cant get rid of
anywayy i did ok otherwise for a while
but at 5:25 or so i reminded a CSM “hey i need my break still can i get that?” and she just ssaid yeah well try to get someone and then more time passed so much time. i put through an ask on the register “assistance needed”. waited another 10 minutes. “assistance needed” again. starting to get anxious. its past 5:40. the line is so long. theres so MUCH NOISE. Its SO LOUD. the intercom keeps going off, no one is responding to me, i dont have a mat to stand on so my knees HURT,, im not doing okk
i switch my light to flashing/need assistance and start looking for someone to ask for help. its 5:45, i need my break NOW, i DESERVE IT for workng this long ass shift and they already missed several of my last breaks a week ago AND got me locked out today and im STARTING TO GET ANXIOUS PELASE I JUST WANT MY BREAK SO BAD
nnthgen a csm is passing by im about to lose it, so i tell her CSM J, please i really need my break now PLEASE and im starting to ccry and i try to tell her whats going on but she shushes me and goes and gets sometone
im full on tears at this point, im so strreesed out,,
manager Y and some other snooty manager come over andd. ffkcing. ask me whats wrong. im crying and i try to explain im really really stressed out, i havent had my last break, ive been trying to get someone for so long now, i just really need to leave im so sorry
and theyy just. fckkng
ffcking manager Y jjst ssays ok “ill give you your break” and “this is your last break” and i ssaid?? yeah i knoww?? andd she saidd “next time youre like this, just dont come in”
i quote that completeltyyy....i really lost it then...i cried som muchh
this isnt the first itme she said something like this to meee...
she asked me “why are you CRYING” When i had an anxiety attacki n the store once, when ic cloked in and couldnt get myself together,, she didnt give me time to calm down, she didnt listen as to why, she just said “why are you crying. this is a BUSINESS. you cant be CRYING Here.” and i just said ok ill go home bye and leftt
andd when i tried to get my availability changed from 7-9 to 7-6/7-7 because the random late shifts with 7 am shifts was messing me up really really bad and my doctor thinks i need to hcange it too, she just said “i cant do that. thisi sa BUSINESS.” and she wouldnt listen when i said i might have to quit because of this, this is for my health, im literally scheduled 7-2 every sunday in december, busiest day of the busiest month and you cant even chop TWO HOURS off my weekend availability????
andd i jjst
ive HAD IT with her
ive had ittt
im so ashamed and angry and anxious and i still havent stopped cryingg. she called me over to her again as i was leaving and she blamed me for it. she ssaid a customer was upset that i “Screamed” (ues i raised my voice a little but i wasnt screaming??? also the two customers i was attending to when this was going on and i cried were VERY KIND nad jjst said i was doing a good job and thanked me for being there) and called a manager over (but...csm J got them?? not a customer...??) and i cant be acitng like this, i cant do customer service when im stressed,, and d i should just STAY HOME If im going to be like that
then shee fufkcing toold me i DID IT WRONG, that i “shouldve called someone over” I TOLD HER I DID!!!!! I DID!!!!!!!!!! YOU NAIL INTO MY HEAD IM NOT ALLOWED TO LEAVE THE REGISTER SO I DIDNT, I DID EVERYTHING ELSE I COULD THOUGH!!! I REQUESTED HELP TWICE!! I TURNED MY LIGHT TO FLASHING!!! I TRIED TO CATCH A MANAGER WALKING BY TO HELP ME!!! N OONE LISTENED UNTIL IT WAS TOO LATE, I DID EVERYHTING I COULD!! yet she seriously told me to my face that “you didnt call anyone”, “you couldve turned your light to flashing” WHICH I DID and sshee jjst said that i made customers uncomfortable and i cant work like thatt and just stay hhome
ii stayed home sunday because i was having a mjor mental emergencyy.
i came in today because i was feeling better and i took it eaasy and ended up doing a wonderful job and mad eso many people smilea nd fixed so many problems that wouldve otherwise upset a lot of folks and i met my regulars and made old folks smile andd i prevented a lot of theft that no one else wouldve caughtt and i jjstt broke down after 9 hours and not getting a last break and all the chaos of register (WHICH BY THE WAY THEY KNOW I DONT LIKE REGISTER!!! I THRIVE ON SLE FCHECOUT!!! THATS MY JOB TITLE!! THATS WHAT I DO!!!! THEY KNOW THISS!!!!) and HER AVOIDING GIVING ME MY FUCKING BREAK and NOT RESPECTING MY FFUCKING METNAL DISABILITIES LJNASDKAJHDBASJSDNAJSNDKANSD
I JJST DONT KNOW WHAT TO DOO
i really want to die and i really want to never go back but i really loved my job i loved helpting people ii jjst hate her so muchhh and i feel GENUINE DREAD/SEVERE ANXIETY jjst SEEING her nnow
she doesnt CARE about anyone but herself shes a horrible peson i cant tell the store manager though cause she wont care either and manager Y has more clout than me so shell just twist my words and make me out as the bad guy as hte “CRAZY ONE” who cries and gets stressed (FOR COMPLETELY VALID REASONS AFTER BEING PUSHED OVER THE EDGE) even tthough i work SO FFRIKCING HARD and do SUCH A GOOD JOB and asdjanjsdhajshdas
i d ont know what to doo
i cant work another job because no where else pays as much or will let me do self checkout only, because being a cashier stresses me so muchh
ii...really wanntted to grow stuff and make preserves and sell bee products and work with folks raising heritage sheep and make more fiber art andd open a little stall at a local market and sell all that,, and offer more online and do customs andd stuff
i know i could mkae money that wa ybut i ccantt start it so sudenly and im too Broken to do it seriouslyy and i dont even want to HAVE to quit because of ONE PERSON But shes done this so many times now and this is the nfinfal streaww
i jjst dont know what to doo...
i cantt stop cryingg
i cant even enjoy christmas nnow. wanted to see my stepdad and give him his presernt and maybe be ok.
last christmas we had to move because our house was condemned after a fire. now im going to have to lose my job because of a horrible manager who doenst respect my metnal health or anything about me reallyy. and unfortunately im such a failure that i cant. do anything else and if i lose this job ill lse my animla sand i wotnt be able to do anyhtingg andd im jjust fucking trash
goddammit i dont know what to do. i really dont. hhahaaa. i just really want to end it. ive come so far and none of it fucking matters because of thiss fucking horrible manager.
#jjst...ffeels like shes violating somethingg#and treating me a LOT like how my abusive mother used to treat me#why are you CRYING? you cant be trying here. this is a BUSINESS.#is a lot like Why Do You look so MISERABLE all the time?? why are you CRYING??#and shit like IGNORING ME when i try to change my hours#straight up ignoring me#she basically made it clear shed rather me QUIT than fuckingg chop 2 hours off my AVAILABILITY#ITS SO FRUSTRATING#AND SHES SUCH A HYPROCRITE#scheduled 7-2 every sunday!!#yet you cant change my availability to 7-7??#you NEED ot keep it until 9???#but working until 9 and getting home around 10 and getting no sleep because i need to take care of my pets and myself#and get up at 5:30 the next morning for work at 7#WHEN THAT COULD EASILY BE ALTERED BY CHIPPING A COUPLE HOURS OFF MY AVAILABILITY#AND MY DOCTOR ALSO THINKS I NEED TO CHANGE IT TOO#BUT WHO FUCKING CARES RIGHT ITS A BU S I N E S S#SURE SURE BUT WHEN A CUSTOMER FLIPS THE SIGN ON A $7.94 SHIRT#TO SAY 0.94 CENTS#WITH THE CENTS SIGN!!!!#THEN I HA V E TO HONOR IT#THATS A+ BUSINESS RIGHT THERE#BITCH DOESNT EVEN KNOW HOW TO APPROVE A COUPON ON SLEF CHECKOUT!!!!#AND OUR FRICKING STORE MAANGER MAKES TRIPLE FIGURES!!!#BUT NO ONE FUCKINGG CARES#NO ONE FUCKING CARES#I DONT KNOW WHAT TO DO ANYMOREE#id dont want to have to lose my job and stability over this one person#but this isntt...ok#i shouldnt have to go to work and deal with MORE emotional abuse
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HOMESTUCK EPILOGUE MEAT THOUGHTS **SPOILERS**
So i want to make some things clear before i get started. I have only read the meat option. I wanted
to also read candy so I could make this with all possible information. But meat left such a bad taste
in my mouth. And after a friend of mine told me somethings about candy i just couldnt bring my
self to read more of it.
So yes i did not like the epilogue. And this is mainly just going to be talking about some of the main
reasons why i didnt like it. And if you did like it or disagree with anything i say. Thats perfectly fine
In fact im honestly happy you could like it. I really really wanted to like it but i just. Couldnt.
So what about it gave me so much issues. The first one is the style and format and feel of it. You will
notice its very different looking from homestuck. Being all text and having 2 routes to choose from.
And alot of it feels very differnt then homestuck and to be fair. Thats the point. I had to have it
explianed to me but it seems to be mostly going for the style and taking common tropes in fan
fiction. The look of it is apprently based on a fan fiction site and the meat route is meant to be the
darker fan fiction while the candy is meant to be happier one where every ship comes true. (altho
from what ive heard it seems more depressing then the darker route so i dont get how that works but
oh well) but that is the point. So it would and should make sense that it dosnt feel like homestuck
right? Well. no. Because no matter what. This is still the offical epilogue to the story. You can make
it look unoffical as much you want. You can try to explain that its both in cannon but not in cannon
but at the end of the day it dosnt matter. Its still the epilogue. It was written in part by the actual
creator. Its on the offical site. In fact if you go on the site right now. Its the very first thing you see.
With right below it homestuck. If they really wanted to drive this fan fiction thing all the way
though. Then i think it both shouldnt have been on the offical site. And hussie shouldnt have
written it. They could have made its own lil site or heck maybe even put it up on the fanfiction site
they had been mimicking. But by putting it up on the offical site it defeats the idea that this is meant
to be fanfiction.
While im on the looks of the epilogue i also got to say i was really expecting it to do more with it.
I was expecting them to do some really intersesting things with it being in this new format. For
example something many people thought including my self was that once john went back into the
cannon the formating would change back into homestucks as it normally is. That would have been
really intersting and would have helped cement that that world being not in the cannon. But. no.
That never happens. It stays in the fan fiction form though out and thats just kinda it. It felt like a
waste. Even the meta narrtive i thought was really wasted. When dirk takes over its noting that
homestuck its self hasnt done in the past. If anything its less. Like remember when doc scratch
took over in homestuck. And the whole site it self changed. That was really cool and interesting.
But here....its just changes the black text to yellow. Thats it. And now the narration is coming from
him. I couldnt help but feel really let down by it. It just seemed like....such a waste.
Ok lets talk about the characters and story and my main issues with them. Now apprently alot of
people didnt like that it was getting much darker in areas but i didnt mind. Homestuck was never
one to shy away from dark or mature subjects and now that the characters are older them dealing
with more mature things makes sense. My issue with the story is actually that its trying to be a story
when its meant to be an epilogue. An epilogue. To me at least. Should be about just the characters.
Seeing how they are doing after the events of the main story and seeing maybe new struggles after
the credits. And while there is some of that here. Its not the focus and more of the focus is one this
new story starting. John having to go fight lord english. Dirk becoming evil. Jane wanting to
become president. I couldnt get into any of it and it never gave me a reason to. This is just an
epilogue.not homestuck 2. not a spin off of any sort. Its just meant to be a short thing on what
happened after the ending. The main story is already over. And its so fruasting becuase it had stuff
in it that i loved but they dont focus on it enough. Like theres a side thing where roxy mentions
that they and calli had been talking about gender idenity and how they had came to the conclsuion
that roxy is trans and uses he him/they them pronuons. That part. Made me so happy. I thought it
was amazing that they were doing this with their character and it was really interesting. But at the
same time i couldnt help but think how much if this had more of a focus on. Like they say calli and
roxy talked about this. And i cant help but think how much i would have loved to see that
conversation
there was also this one throw away line about how rose and her wife had been talking about
adopting. And i cant even to begin to say how much id love to read a story of just them talking
about if they should have a kid. And john discovering he has depression i thought was really good
and i wish it had more focus and had him just talking more to people about it. This epilogue left me
with just wanting so much it didnt give. Now i will give credit the roxy being trans thing didnt
just get dropped they did have it devople as time went on and it was cool but again i just wanted
more of it. The stuff with dirk and lord english just felt. Pointless. And gave me an impression that
maybe they were afraid people wouldnt be interested in the epilogue if there wasnt some kind of
stake at risk and i cant help but wonder what it would have been like if they werent in it.
My other main issue with the story is how they did sorten characters. Some i liked for example
where johnn,roxy,dave,karkat,rose and a few others.they were good and i felt they for the most part
showed how they had grown over the years and that this would be how they would naturally be
older. But others i couldnt get behind. For examples i didnt really care how they did jade. She really
didnt add anything and most of what she was doing was hitting on dave and karkat. It felt kinda like
a waste to have her just for that. Granted they do have her get possed but by then you dont really get
any more real interaction out of her so your mostly left with how she first shows up and its just ..
weak i think i would describe it as weak. Then theres characters like jane and dirk . Jane now being
just stright up a jerk letrally shamming jake to hundereds of people and dirk letrally being super
evil and doing really really fucked up things. Im not asking for characters to be perfect angels. But
this seems just to much. To go from homestuck where they had grown alot as characters and had
bettered them selfs as people. To just going to this. Its. Its very unsatisfying.
I think i would use that word to sum up meat alot. Its very . Unsatisfying. They mention in the
choice just before you pick meat or candy. That meat would be much harder to get though. But it
would be over all better for you and more satisfying to eat. For me. That never happened. Though
out it all i never get that satisying feeling. I never got that (oh ok this made it worth it) it never
never happened for me and its so fruastrating because i wanted to have that feeling so badly. I
wanted to love this but so many things about it kept making it impossible for me.
And this brings me to the final thing i want to say. Maybe my perosnal biggest issue with this and
why i cant enjoy it.
But first i want to talk about homestucks ending. To me. Homestuck ended perfectly. One could
agrue that it could have had more problems going on but to me it was what i wanted. The characters
after years of struggles. After death,pain,saddness and so many hardships. Pulled though. They
made it to the other side. They grew as people. They bettered them selfs. And got a happy ending
that they desvered and worked hard to get. And with the credits giving us insight to how it was
going over there. I couldnt help but be so happy at it. When i got to it i was very emtional and i just
felt it was so right . And a great note to end homestuck on .
But thats no longer the case. It isnt the end now. It isnt the last thing from homestuck
This is . This is the end of homestuck. This is the last note it will go out on . The epilogue. An
epilogue that. To me. Felt so unsatisfying. And put the characterss though more shit and left things
on a sad un happy note that might not get any real conlsuion. This is it. It turned an ending that
i loved. Into a bitter sweet momment. And you could say im being over dramatic. And i would
agree. I think i am. I want to just shut up and just enjoy this or ignore it. But i cant. My brain wont
shut up and let it go. That this last part of homestuck. Something i love so much. Had its final
momment be this. I just feel. So . Dissapointed by all this.
Now i want to just say some quick things here. These are just my thoughts. If you liked the epilogue
or even loved it. Im so happy for you. Honestly i mean this with all my heart. Im glad people can
and have enjoyed it. And you could also make the argument that by not reading both routes that
could be why i didnt enjoy it and maybe reading both would do so. And hey. Maybe your right. But
i cant really bring my self to do. But at the very least i got my thoughts out. And as i am wrighting
this i am already feeling so much better and im glad i could get my thoughts out there.
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Hey, I really like your writing! Could you do RFA+V, MC is in a relationship with one of them but one of the other member in love with her?
Edit (Jan. 28) : So, I did not change Jumin’s part but i felt shitty for not doing the rest of the gang so here you guys go
Really sorry it was overdue -P
Jumin
Watching her was hard.
She was always smiling and even though it wasnt for him, he still felt like it would cure his life maybe even the entire world
It didnt matter that she had no money or status
She was a queen like no other
Yes, she was kind and sweet but he loved that she was brutal, passionate, and fierce
but above all: she was honest
The things he learned she didnt love about herself, he loved a thousand times more- no an infinite amount more
He wont lie, he hated Seven for the longest maybe still does
He took her away even though his job could hurt her
even though he could offer MC more protection than Seven and more opportunities
he found himself hating Seven
But MC was happy
And thats all that mattered to him
Even if it meant that she wouldnt smile like that for him
She wont show him the faces she makes when shes sad, happy, angry, excited, lost in love, orgasming, and even ignoring him- he knows that it cant ever happen
But he liked to think about what it could all be with her:
How she would be the most favorite flavor he could ever taste
How shed be his favorite place to go to when he wanted to fade away from his troubles
He enjoyed having his dreams revolve around her belonging to him, being with him- him belonging to her, and them becoming something much more than a physical and mental attraction
At the beginning he didnt expect anything from talking to a strnger, he didnt see her like anyone important enough
But as the days progressed, he felt her drowning his thoughts
Hed think about the girl in the apartment whod look at her phone at ungodly hours of the night and still manage to stay awake during the day to do her work (or whatever she did)
At first he thought maybe taking on more cat projects would help to regain his focus
he felt that instead, it enhanced his daydreaming and even night dreaming of her
He felt that maybe it was something unhealthy how hed dream of her at night too and figured he needed a doctor or more time with Elizabeth III
When he realized that what he needed was her, everything in his focus dropped
He’d never felt such relief and such calm and such a high all at once- he felt alive and warm and sad all at once
Like his tangles were unraveling slowly
he hoped that she felt the same for him when they talked, but he was mistaken
when he knew it could never be like that
his heart swelled and everything warm and beautiful made his heart cry out for MC
he knew
It would always be him swimming alone in a vast clear ocean sea, with his feeling exposed and no rescue boat or life saver to come for him
It hurt.
Knowing that this love he has for her wont have anywhere else to go but to disappear into the ocean exposing him
He could find someone with status and power yet still be kind and fierce and even a model but none would ever match to MC
She became the name he whispered when he needed help, when he was frustrated, when he was sad, and when he wanted relief
He sometimes wished that they had never met or that MC was a different person with a different personality but even then, he knew
he would always feel something like this for MC however she was
WHen Seven asked for advice on which places offered the best catering for weddings to the space station
Jumin knew he would always look at MC and Seven together on an island where they were unapproachable as he floated in the ocean that exposed him and his. Heart. Hurt.
Jahee
It took her a while to realize that it bothered her for more than a few initial reasons
It was all confusing for her; granted she never had this happen before
She should have focused on her work instead of silly fantasies
But oh how she wanted for her fantasies to work out
She didnt want to become jealous of the one person she admired and followed
She didnt want to harbor any terrible feelings towards Zen
But she did
She didnt want MC and Zen to date because she didnt want MC to be with anyone at all
She did care about Zen’s career
But that wasnt the main reason as to why she wanted both of them to be single
It took her a while to realize that the feelings she had towards Zen were completely different than those she had towards MC
The one thing they both had in common was that both were gorgeous people
But towards MC she felt something else that she couldnt make herself feel towards Zen no matter how many times she tried
But ofc she didnt want to ignore their happiness and success
Zen will forever continue to be her idol
He was an amazing actor, model, singer, and person
But the one thing he had that no one else could ever be lucky to come close to in comparison was:
The love MC had for him
Even as she threw rice towards the new bride and groom
Jahee vowed she would never let anyone know what she felt and thought and instead would channel her feelings into supporting Zen’s career and MC for whenever MC would need her
She promised herself and god that she would never stop loving MC
She didnt want something so precious and pure to disappear just because it would never grow into something more than just friends
Even if she would become the godmother to their unborn child
Zen
With his rising career, he lied to himself a lot he was very good at it
Constantly repeating like a prayer that she was better off
That MC wouldn’t have to worry about crazy actresses or crazy fans making her life complicated with lies and rumors
That she could live a better life with no worries or fears or anything except for what she would wear for the day and what she should eat
Had she chosen anyone else, Zen would have objected
Bc no one could ever be good enough for the princess
But he knew
He knew that Mr trust fund would provide
Whatever MC would want or need: he would provide
And Zen would be okay with it
As long as he could see her smile and not want for anything
Zen would learn to live with watching them from afar
He would be okay with having to watch MC from atop the stage while she cheered with Jumin
He would eventually learn how to stop drinking beer on a nightly bases and quit smoking as well
Maybe he hoped to eventually learn to love someone other MC
Someone who could love him in a way that doesnt feel like its slowly tearing something from within apart
maybe even for before the wedding
being best man was something that took him by surprise
but whether Jumin knew how he felt towards MC
he would only give words of encouragement and support
for as long as she would need it
maybe by the time they have a child, Zen would have found someone to replace MC
even if for a little while longer he could continue to love her
He would stay this way for as long as he could hold on
Yoosung
Once was fine
Once was okay
But twice?
Twice was not okay
Not after the last time
He did not feel comfortable with MC and V being together
Not after what happened with Rika; he did not condone their relationship
But he couldnt vocally oppose them
How could he?
All he knew was how to play a video game that consumed his life and came between him and being a better student
How could he offer MC a life when he couldnt even prove to himself that he could go a day without playing a stupid video game
And for what?
All because Rika died? Becuase Rika was with V who made him feel like he was hiding more than just a few details?
But he knew V would treasure MC.
The moment he saw them exchange rings, the moment they announced their pregnancy, and the moment he saw their small family together; he knew
Watching V hold their child in his arms made Yoosung feel like he should leave for a while
Maybe go visit his parents for a few weeks
becuase it became too much
To watch the person you love live a life you envisioned for yourself with them was too much for him
He only came back when he heard the news
V had died.
He should have been sad
and he was! sure baby boi
but he was ashamed to admit it to himself that he was low key relieved
so instead he focused on helping MC and the child she had with V
He knows he could never replace V; he was glad of it too
but he didnt want her to feel like she was alone
He always volunteered to help take care of the child and babysit and even coach her baseball team he fought for her to be allowed to join the boys team in the first place
he did everything he felt a father would do
When she called him “uncle” it made him feel like he cant ever be a father figure
even more so when MC began to date again after 7 long years of being widowed
Even if it wasnt with him or for him, he would always look after that child like his own and love her mother while she loved another man
707 / Saeyoung
He was okay with it
He knew he failed
The moment MC sided with Unknown, he somehow thought that she would be safer with this stranger
If he was good enough to be hidden from 707, then he was good enough to be hidden from other people;
People that would hurt MC
And that was all Seven needed
All that mattered was that MC would be safe wherever she was
He didnt like it; he didnt like not knowing where she was
Who she was with or why
Maybe she got the message after he pushed her away many times
But it would be something he would have to learn to be okay with
Becuase he was the fool to have let emotions overcome him
he was silly to have thought he deserved someone as caring and even understanding as MC
hurting her to leave him was the only thing he knew would work
And it worked.
After she left with Unknown, he rarely saw her
the times he did see her, she seemed happy
granted she saw the other RFA members more than him
But he was okay with it
That was what he needed to know that he was going in the right direction
He told himself his love was wasted on her
But it wasnt
if anything it was what kept him alive and sane; it was all he knew
Alive and sane until he could find out where his brother was
Maybe then he could find something to fill the void and emptiness MC left when she left
But when he saw who MC was with
He figured that Saeran wouldnt need him either
if both of the people he loved the most had each other
All he would need to do was to look at them from the sidelines and make sure they would be okay and safe; everything else would just be white noise
They were the most important people in his life and nothing would ever change that.
Even if they were also the people who didnt feel the same way he did towards them.
He told himself he would learn to be okay.
V
He put her in harms way
He avoided taking in the chat for that reason
When she addressed him, he felt warm and cared about
When she defended him for reasons she couldnt understand herself, V felt like maybe there was love after death
that maybe Rika wasnt his only soulmate
And he regretted that he didnt meet MC before the rest maybe even before Rika
But with how she interacted with Jahee
he felt jealous, which was ridiculous right?
Yet, it wasnt
When they moved in together and opened the cafe
it was all falling into place for both Jahee and MC
And he didnt dare take that away from MC
She deserved someone to watch over her and he knew that Jahee needed MC just as much and he did
He should have said something before they moved in
but he didn’t find it odd.
When they decided to adopt a dog he felt cold and distant
When they adopted their first son, he felt heartbroken
When MC asked 707 to be the godfather his heart was shredded
But when Jahee asked him to be his godfather of the child MC was carrying,
he wanted to say no
But when MC was eager to make him also a godfather he dindt have the heart to say no
He wont ever be connected to MC like she was with Jahee
but he could at least have a reason to stay close to MC
He wouldnt cry or shed any tears, as long as he had the chance to look after MC from afar
and hey, even if his goddaughter looked like her mommy, he saw the truth through her
That both of her mommies were perfect for each other and he was glad to have stepped back to allow for their family to flourish.
Unknown / Saeran
Unknown knew he wasnt warm or soft or loveable
He couldnt provide MC with enough reasons that would have made her be with him
Why would she have chosen him?
It didnt surprise him that MC was with someone completely opposite to him
Someone who was warm and soft and loveable
And someone who could introduce her to their family and not have to hide away the crap of a life they were dealt with
She wouldnt have to feel burdened to carry a heavy load of pain and memories he tried to suppress
She could be happy and enjoy another family and maybe talk about casseroles or baby stuff with her mother-in-law
And have political debates or maybe talk about a silly show with her father-in-law
And not have to worry about being killed or hurt or tortured or anything he went through as a child
Saeran pretended to not care that she was getting married to a vet
Or that she was close friends to his brother
He even lied to himself that he didnt care whether she was alive or not
but he couldnt
Even if she didnt know he existed or that he loved her
Saeran wouldnt show himself before her again
Well, thats what he told himself
but he made his way to working on going to her work daily for a cup of coffee
To find a way to cater at the wedding
to work on days she would appear at the baby store
and even work one day at the school her child would go to
He didnt want to let MC go
but seeing her life with Yoosung and their child;
He couldnt take her away from the happiness he could never have provided.
#ask#anon#mystic messenger#mc mystic messenger#mystic messenger angst#im sorry#707#jumin han#saeyoung choi#one sided#sorrry#jahee kang#zen#hyun ryu#unknown#v#saeran choi#kim yoonsung#im sorry guys#i love angst too much#maybe too much#idk ooopps
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What’s the best car insurance?
"What's the best car insurance?
I'm about to get a car, it will be my first car, and I know the insurance will be more expensive because I just turned 19, but how much should I expect to pay and what is the best insurance I should get? I live in Southern California (Redondo Beach) and I have a 2006 red toyota yaris. Thanks.
BEST ANSWER: Try this site where you can compare quotes: : http://averageinsurancecost.xyz/index.html?src=tumblr
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A large tree limb fell on my car last night. I would like to have an idea of what it might cost to fix this before calling the insurance company. If it cost less to pay out of pocket that is the route I would like to take. Here is a link to the pic of the damage, which is on the passenger side of a 2001 Hyundai Accent. http://i11.photobucket.com/albums/a163/janezanaddict/IMG_3079.jpg Thanks for your help!""
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Am i paying to much for car insurance?
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What's the best car insurance?
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Car Insurance Question?
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What is the best life insurance for seniors?
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""What's the BEST, CHEAPEST and RELIABLE (easy claims) insurance in California?""
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Car insurance Q??????????
Im 16 years old and Ill be geting my car In June that I paid $3,000 dlrs for Can I get the car title in my own name or do my parents half to also be on my title and when i get my car insurance will my parents be on that? im paying for every thing with my own money... And I live in the state of WI.""
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Cheap Car Insurance! Any Ideas?
Hi all. I'm currently learning to drive and hoping to pass my test and get a car this year. But car insurance is soo expensive. I've looked into it a bit and it would cost me around 1300 a year and with 3 kids that's just too much lol. Any one know of any way I can get it any cheaper, like maybe putting someone else as main driver or named driver etc. Would that make a difference? I'm female and almost 26, so I understand that brings it down a little, but it is only a little. Please help, thanks for reading.""
Car insurance in household with 3 licensed drivers and 3 cars?
I just purchased a 2000 Honda Prelude Type SH, and while I am prepared to pay the cost of a full insurance premium, I am wondering if there is any way around insuring myself as the primary driver of this vehicle, when in reality the driving will be split between my mother and myself. We have two 2001 Grand Prix's, both insured under RBC in my father's name, with my mother and myself on the policy as occasional drivers. So I suppose my question would be whether or not my father or mother can insure my vehicle and add me to the policy the same way I am on it for the other two cars?""
Individual Health Insurance / COBRA?
Why is COBRA considered better than individual health insurance plans? When I did some research,for almost the same kind of coverage but cheaper premiums, I could find individual health insurance plans.But I keep hearing that given an option, going for COBRA is the wiser decision. I don't understand what the catch could be in these individual plans. Any insight?""
What's the best car insurance?
I'm about to get a car, it will be my first car, and I know the insurance will be more expensive because I just turned 19, but how much should I expect to pay and what is the best insurance I should get? I live in Southern California (Redondo Beach) and I have a 2006 red toyota yaris. Thanks.
How can I get health insurance for my foreign-born mother-in-law?
We live in California, she's from Japan and is 74 years old.""
Car insurance!!?
i finally got my license , my dad is giving me his car and he has insurance but my name is not on the policy. can i still drive. Im leaving for vacation in two weeks so putting my name on the policy will just cost money for just two weeks. i won't be back for three months from vacation.""
Car insurance?
What is penalty for driving a car with insurance but your name is not on the policy or is that ok to do
How much do you think my Motorcycle insurance would be? for a 250CC bike?
I signed up for a motorcycle MSF class to get my license and to get experience riding a bike. I plan on getting a 250cc bike because I think it's what suits my needs and desires of what I want out of a motorcycle. Also, I don't need anything bigger/faster because I'm quite a daredevil and broke my back 3 years ago. Anyways, I'm 25 now and have matured enough to know my limits and to take it easy. Well, one of my main concerns is the cost of insurance. As of now I pay $330 a month for my car insurance. I have somewhat of a bad driving record, and that's why my auto insurance is pretty high. But i haven't done anything too crazy, like no DUI's or license suspensions. Only 1 speeding ticket too out of all these years. Anyways, i've been looking primarily at the Honda CBR250r. What would you guesstimate i will be paying for insurance? A quote for the average coverage and for leisure purposes only too. Thanks.""
How much is insurance on 2003 lexus IS300?
wondering how much i might be paying a month if im getting a more expensive car..?
Motorcycle insurance in canada?
The insurance companies in Canada are punishing seasoned riders with annual increased rates for motorcycles. Some won't even insure you if you change the pipes and the breather on your bike! Is there an association that can aid seasoned riders with fair insurance rates? If not, can we start one? If you've been riding for more than 20 years, I would like to hear how you are managing with these rip offs by the insurance companies.""
Do i still have to pay excess on my car insurance?
can someone please tell me if I still have to pay my excess after a claim on my car insurance, it was my fault and alot of damage was done to the 3rd party car, i never got mine fixed...the thing thats confusing me if is my insurance is up for renewal next month but my current insurance is quoted over 1000 I have found it a lot less elsewhere so if course im leaving my insurance, but will I receive a letter stating i owe them the excess, as I paid nothing at the time of the claim?""
What is the cheapest car insurance in New Jersey?
I hate looking for car insurance and dealing with all the different rates and agents and policies etc. I just want to know what the cheapest car insurance is in New Jersey one that is quick easy and the best for what I am looking for. Help meee
Insurance help!!!!!!!?
I was wondering, on average how much would it cost to insure a 2010 plate Ford Fiesta 1.25 Hatchback for a 17 year old in bradford. The car is 5,695, second-hand, previously owned packed with a 1.2 litre engine. I'm just looking for an estimate, thats all! thank you!""
Help finding a car insurance quote?
I'm doing a project for my economics class where I have to pretend to be a 22 year old living on my own and make a monthly budget for myself. I have to find a car insurance and health insurance quote, but everywhere I search asks for personal information and has to search through my records and credit to give me the right quote. I'm only 17 so they wouldn't find anything on me. I need it for a 22 year old making 27,000 a year. Please help me! 10 points to the best answer :)""
Am I insured to drive a company van?
My employer does not pay me until I arrive at a job. Which in my book means I am not yet at work. Does this mean I am not covered by the insurance to drive that van?
Insurance write off question?
My car has recently been declared an insurance write off, basically a young guy (17) pulled out of a side road T-Bone ing me, causing me to be pushed into a tree, all the under body of my car was twisted and it would cost more to repair than the car is worth. The problem is my car isn't worth anything ( Peugeot 206). Someone is going to phone me tomorrow to discuss a settlement figure, I'd like 2k, (I paid 4k) 2.5 years ago for it. How much am I likely to get as an insurance write off, bearing in mind the other driver had admitted full liability and blame. It was a 2005 Peugeot 206 with 70k miles, one previous owner with a recent mot ( 2 weeks ago) also I've just paid for 12 months tax ( last month) can I reclaim this somehow? Thank You As for the other driver. I spoke to the police office who attended the scene and he went to his house yesterday to interview him, apparently he can do him for dangerous driving and give him points, as he was 17 I bet he will get caned on his insurance renewal, which is some comfort I guess :)""
Need help picking car insurance?
I'm 18 years old and live on my own with no dependants. Which method of car insurance is most dependable and best choice cost wise (Basically .. what can I afford haha)
Car insurance__________________?
How much do you pay for car insurance? (in a year), mine is going to expire in november (november, 30) when I am supposed to go to the agency to renew it? Can I go for example on november 1st?""
""Where can u get the cheapest car insurance quote on the net or by phone, or any means nessesary?""
Where can u get the cheapest car insurance quote on the net or by phone, or any means nessesary?""
Is there any auto insurance that is affordable for college students?
Is there any auto insurance that is affordable for college students?
Any good/affordable individual health plans for me and unborn baby in Connecticut?
My boyfriend and I are moving to Connecticut in Nov. from Seattle area. His plan can't be renewed until next summer. I got laid off in July and am currently on COBRA plan with my ...show more
Insurance or Registration?
I can only aford one or the other. I live in a very expensive state, california. I can only aford either insurance or car registration. am i better of to drive with insurance and no registration, or registration and no insurance.""
Can I insure a car I don't own?
My dad bought me a car when I was 17, but its in his name. I still have that car and the insurance runs out at the end of the month. I'm tired of having him pay for things so I'm paying for my own insurance. He's going to sign the car over to me, but I will still need to get insurance on it and he probably won't transfer the title for a few more weeks. So, can I shop around for insurance rates and purchase and pay for my own insurance on the car, and include my husband as a driver, even though I don't own the car yet? Or does my dad need to transfer the title first? The problem we're running into is, I'm in Missouri, my dad is in Utah (where the car is currently registered), and I'm moving to California in 3 weeks.""
""By about how much will insurance increase, sedan vs. sports car?""
I am 20 years old currently and drive a 2002 Chevy Cavalier. I was considering purchasing a 2000ish model Chevy Camaro Z28 (5.7L v8) and was curious perhaps by how much my insurance will go up. I know obviously that no one can give an accurate guess as to how much since there are numerous factors involved, but just based on my current insurance I thought perhaps someone might be able to guess what the price on the insurance might be. I am currently on my Uncle's insurance plan, and if I bought the vehicle, would transfer the deed to him so as to retain the benefit of his insurance. I pay about 50$ a month for liability for my car due to his insuring many cars currently. I know this is very cheap for one my age, so I thought the camaro insurance might not be bad still. Anyway based on 50$ a month for liability on my 2002 cavalier, any guesses as to what a 2000ish camaro might run me for insurance? (Both liability and comprehensive if you'd like.) I know I can find out for sure by having my uncle call his insurance, but I just wondered if I might get a ballpark estimate before I approach him about it.""
Business Insurance?
I want to start a roofing company in MN and I was wondering what kind of insurance I need for me and a crew of five or six people. I was also hoping someone could help me with the required licenses. Thank you
""When being sued by an insurance company, can they put a lien on my property?""
i was involved in a accident in 2008 now me and my mom are being sued. My mom is the registered car owner (shes super mad at me) anyways they will post a judgement againt the both of us. We are both W2 workers and she has a house. Can anyone give me the worst case scenario, what can we do??""
How much does car insurance cost for a 16 yr old in oregon?
i get my license in a few months, what am i looking @ for insurance costs. oregon, age 16, adding to parents insurance, state farm insurance, good grades, drivers ed, a car with no crashes but alot of milage from 1990-2000...under 7k$$. around how much will my insurance per month cost?""
My Insurance auto accident settlement?
I was recently in a car accident where a Nissan truck ran into the back of another car that then ran into the back of me causing $2000 worth of damage to the rear of my infiniti. I received moderate whiplash to my neck and had to be taken to the hospital. I checked out without any broken bones and was prescribed medication. I went to see a chiropractor and he has been working on my neck for a couple days which makes it feel a better. Im 100% not at fault and the insurance company has taken care of my car repair, rental, and medical bills. They ask me How much do I think I want for this accident for pain and suffering. I believe I am entitled to at least $3500-5000 for my suffering I live in NC. I believe $5000 is a reasonable consider the circumstances. I could have lost my life, broke my neck and been paralyzed for life. Thank the lord that I received only a whiplash. The stress that I am undergoing, the constant pain in my neck is a reminder of the accident, which I feel fearful of driving. The time I spent recovering could have been spent enjoying my life. Besides getting behind in my school work, I am absent from my student organization at school which I am a key figure ( president AGC). I don't enjoy waking up with cramps and headaches nor do I like to take prescription pills, and therapy. I don't want to be compensation a insufficient amount that wont even cover pain and suffering I went though. It seems like you people are on the side of the insurance company and not the victims in this situation. I wonder if any of you have ever been in an automobile accident and if you have must share some sort of empathy of what I am reiterating.""
Home insurance wants to raise dwelling coverege?
I purchased a townhome in March of 2013 for $183k in Florida. It is in a 200-unit subdivision that just completed all construction and sold out all last remaining units a few months ago. When I signed up for home insurance, the insurance company set my dwelling coverage to $183k. I told them that it isn't accurate for them to base dwelling coverage on market price because the replacement cost must be lower since market price includes land and profits the builder makes. Long story short, they convinced me to stay at $183 because they said costs were rising and so forth. I decided not to fight it. Fast forward to this year, and now they are proposing to increase the dwelling coverage to $203k (11% increase). Funny thing is that for my exact townhome model, about 20 units were sold in the last year with prices averaging in the upper $180s (slightly above what I paid). I called the insurance company to let them have a piece of my mind, and they told me they use an independent 3rd party company to price the replacement costs. I told them it's BS because it's way above average market price and replacement costs is always below market price. They asked me to send them documents from when I purchased the home that details the construction materials used and upgrades so that they can reevaluate the dwelling coverage. My question is, why is the burden of proof on me to prove to the insurance company that dwelling coverage should be lowered? Why can't they just reduce it to what I tell them to reduce it to? After all, I am the customer who pays for the insurance. If my house is ever destroyed and I underinsured, that's my problem not theirs. I just find it strange that I'm paying for an insurance service and the insurance company decides what the replacement cost is, not me. Even though it doesn't affect them.""
What's the best car insurance?
I'm about to get a car, it will be my first car, and I know the insurance will be more expensive because I just turned 19, but how much should I expect to pay and what is the best insurance I should get? I live in Southern California (Redondo Beach) and I have a 2006 red toyota yaris. Thanks.
https://www.linkedin.com/pulse/south-international-falls-minnesota-cheap-car-insurance-larry-spears/"
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Did you stop doing anything in particular after becoming a parent? ✨ Did you change your style of dress after becoming a Mom? Did you change your parenting style from the way you were raised? ✨ Did you stop doing anything in particular after becoming a parent? ✨ Well, the obvious answer is I stopped cursing lol. My spelling words game is off the hook now though! I always wondered why my Mom used to spell words and now I get it! 😂😂😂 But I have to be aware of the words I am spelling becuase my daughter will repeat the spelling too! When we were potty training I used to spell potty, so she wouldnt have a meltdown and then she started saying “I need to use the P-O-T-T-Y” 🙈😂😂. Anyhow, I also changed the food. When we started feeding my daughter solids, we switched to organic food and making our own baby food. That was a huge change! But I have learned to love it! It makes eating out harder, but I manage. Did you change your style of dress after becoming a Mom? My style did not necessarily change, my body did, so getting dressed was initially just yoga pants 🙈 But now that I have embraced my body, I actually changed my style to represent me more! If I see something that I like, I GET IT! I am no longer concerned with the perceived way Moms are supposed to dress! No Moms jeans here! Lol. And I let my daughter express her style! Like her rainboot phase 🙈 Rainboots and flowers Did you change your parenting style from the way you were raised? I am a proud helicopter/attachment parent. I am with my kids 24/7 and I love it! I also spend a lot of time playing with my kids. A LOT! Probably too much! I say its help to bond and build a connection, but I love that I can be a kid again! Adulting is no fun sometimes lol. For the most part, I think I have duplicated my Moms awesome parenting style with a few tweaks of my own. I try to incorprate learning something at every opportunity no matter what the activity. Funny enough, I didn’t think I would be such an intense parent and immerse myself in parenthood! Like, I am really into it 🙈 to the point someone told me I need to come back to adult reality! How are you surviving parenthood?
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