#i thought tumblr would appreciate maria. and i hope this works!!

[syn4k]

i realized recently that i have more trouble automatically referring to masc presenting transfems with their correct pronouns (in my brain, i try my hardest to never slip up while talking about them) then i do with fem presenting transmascs, probably because i myself am transmasc with a lot of transmasc friends, some who don't pass well or even at all and i'm used to that. meanwhile i only know two transfems in real life so my brain is way less used to the "that girl really looks like a guy!" disconnect and it tends to balk

i have come up with a somewhat unorthodox solution to this

^ this is maria! she is transfem, uses she/her pronouns, and has decided to not visibly transition because she's comfortable with how she looks no matter how masculine it makes her appear.

maria is not a real person, of course. i just googled "stock image guy" and picked a random one for this purpose. the idea is that theoretically if i look at this enough times and go "oh yeah that's maria! she's doing great :D" then my brain should eventually pick up the message and make it easier for me to refer to people correctly in the future! key word here being "should".

i hope this makes sense askskfjwjfjsdj it is 7:40 A.M

[geralts-yenn]

Believe in Me - Chapter 6

chapter warnings: none? Maybe talk about violence? Vampire bite?

word count: 2,7k

A/N: sorry it took me so long! I was a little distracted by some other Melot. But now I'm back, focusing on this! I decided to split this chapter, else we'd be again at like 7k, and you would have waited another two weeks. Hope it's okay for you...

Inspo board for this chapter is here 😍

Please let me know what you think - reblogs and comments are always the way to make me happy! Tumblr only works if you reblog. Help me to keep this story alive 😘

Series Masterlist

Maria sat on the couch, her mug clenched between her hands. She had stopped crying and shaking at some point but she was still completely in shock.

“I think we need to talk.” The voice was hoarse, almost a whisper, not the confident tone with a hint of mischief that she was used to from him. She turned her head to him and nodded to show him to go on.

Charles moved to sit on the edge of the couch and licked his upper lip.

“We really didn't think she was in danger. Not like that. I was there to protect her. But I would have never thought…” His voice broke. 

Maria couldn't hold back her anger.

“And what was my role in all of that? Was I there to protect her, too? How could I have done that? And wouldn't it have been a good decision to tell me beforehand?” Maria's heart beat got faster with every word. She was so, so mad at those vampires. She told Aurora that she'd be safe but she wasn't, because of them. 

Charles moved on the couch to get closer to her. He fiddled with his hands, trying to find the right words.

Even with all the anger filling her chest, she had to smile at that. She would have never believed to see Charles like this. And somehow it got to her, to see the usually so big-headed vampire vulnerable.

"Maria, I would have never put you in danger knowingly. Not Aurora and not you. Look, Aurora definitely has some effect on Melot. I have never seen him act like that with any woman. It's like he is under her spell. And so I assumed that her blood only has that effect on him. Well, guess I was wrong.” He sank his head. 

“What’s happening when you feed on her?” Maria still hadn’t fully understood the events of the night.

Charles explained to her what Melot had told him. What it felt like to drink Aurora’s blood. And he had to admit to her that they absolutely had no clue why it was like that.

“That’s scary somehow.” Maria concluded. “If the wrong vampires feed on her, she is like...” Maria searched for the right word, but Charles came to help her:

“She is a weapon. A very dangerous weapon.”

“Fuck! That’s not good!” Maria was more concerned than ever for her friend. “She had hard times with her family. She’s so incredibly insecure. Never had anyone on her side. And I thought that bringing her to the club would give her some confidence. And now I got her into an even bigger mess than before.”

Charles took Maria’s hand. “It’s not your fault. How could you have known?” He let out a sad chuckle. “Those two really have searched and found each other. Melot has been trying for centuries to get some appreciation from August, getting more and more insecure and frustrated with every failed attempt. I actually liked seeing him happy for a change.” 

Maria repeated the sad chuckle. “And now they are both in the middle of a bigger catastrophe than ever.”

Maria looked deep into Charles' crimson eyes. “They need our help, Charlie. There are not many people they can count on. Can you promise me to be there for them?” 

He squeezed Maria's hand that he was still holding as he answered her. “I will, and I won't fail, like tonight. I'm not the selfish prick people think I am.” 

Maria wrapped her arms around him and mouthed a small thank you, then moved away from him just as fast. Charles' features softened as he looked at her. Then he got up and walked to the kitchen. 

“We'll get it sorted out. I give you that promise." He peeked at her from behind the refrigerator door. "Can I make you breakfast? You should eat something”

Maria grimaced jokingly. “I won't eat anything that got prepared on THAT kitchen counter!”

The first thing Aurora saw when she opened her eyes was Melot's face hovering over her. She smiled nervously. “What are you doing, Melot?” 

He brushed a strand of hair from her face, and his index finger followed her features from her temple down to her chin. “Just admiring the most beautiful woman I ever lay my eyes upon.” He sank down to press a soft kiss on her lips.

So they started their day the way they had ended the last one. With kisses and smiles and touches. But after some time, Melot pulled out of Aurora’s arms. 

“Do you feel good enough to talk to me?” he asked carefully, and Aurora nodded in response. 

Melot sat up, resting his shoulders on the backrest of the bed. “First of all, I need to apologize! I would have never let you go to the club if I had known that something like this would happen.” The look on his face melted Aurora’s heart. 

“I know that, Melot! It’s okay.” She sat beside him, her legs on his lap.

“Just tell me what exactly is going on and then we will try to find a solution, right?” She looked at him with wide eyes.

Melot couldn’t believe his luck. Not only he had finally found someone that he really cared for, she felt the same for him too. She liked him so much that she forgave him, even when he had made one mistake after the other, ever since he had met her. It was time to make things right.

And so Melot started to tell Aurora what happened when he had fed on her. He didn’t spare any detail and when he came to the point where he had to admit that he had almost drained her, his lips were trembling and he lost his ability to speak for a moment. Tears were gathering at the corner of his eyes. Aurora watched him calmly and brushed her palm over his cheek. 

But Melot couldn’t keep his composure any longer. He pulled Aurora into his arms and pressed her into his chest. Sobbing, he told her:

“When Charles called and told me what happened, I thought I had left you to get killed. The urge to drink from you was so strong for me. Someone who didn’t know you, who didn’t love you,... I couldn’t believe they'd be able to stop.” Melot shook his head as he thought about the moment where he almost lost Aurora.

The confession that had slipped Melot should have scared Aurora. It was way too soon to speak of love. But she couldn’t blame him. She felt the same for him. Her mouth crashed onto his, his lips still trembling as her tongue brushed over them. But her kiss soothed him, she felt how the tension in his muscles slowly faded and he relaxed in her arms.

A knock on the door stopped them before they could deepen their kiss. Aurora moved away from Melot, feeling like a teenager getting caught. Melot went to open the door and Aurora saw a Charles that looked stern as never before. 

“August is back. He expects you in his office, now, both of you” Without waiting for an answer, he turned and left. Melot held out his hand for Aurora to take. “Can you walk?” he asked, concerned. Aurora nodded, but as she got up, she felt nausea rising in her chest. Her hand shot up to her mouth and the next second Melot was holding out a bottle of water to her.

His inhuman speed was something that she still had to get used to, but at the moment she really appreciated it. She took some small sips from the water, and then, after a deep breath, she was able to move. Melot wrapped his arm around her waist.

“I wish you would have met him in a different setting. Don’t be afraid of him, okay? He’s intimidating, but he’s not evil. He won’t do you any harm. And I’m with you.”

The fact that Melot felt urged to ease Aurora made her dread even more what was about to happen.

In August’s office, Charles and Maria were already waiting. The vampire king himself wasn’t present yet. Maria took Aurora in her arms as soon as she entered the room. Melot felt naked without her in his arms, but it was only a second that he could sulk over this, before he heard August huff as he entered his office. 

His presence filled the room immediately. Aurora couldn’t help herself, it felt as if it got instantly colder and a shiver ran down her spine. Melot and Charles both sank their head to a small bow, and Maria and Aurora both decided to do the same.

“Sit down, everyone!” August bellowed and sank onto the padded armchair behind his desk himself. Aurora sat on the chair beside Melot and finally dared to set her eyes on the king. He was the most gorgeous person she had ever seen. His face was sculpted in perfection. And his eyes stared deeply into her soul.

Aurora felt the urge to kneel before him and ask him for forgiveness, even though there was nothing she needed him to forgive. As Melot took her hand, she came back to her senses.

August’s eyes went from Aurora to Maria, and he lifted his eyebrow. “Who is she?” he asked. It didn’t sound offensive, just curious. Charles’ look fell on Maria for a second too, before he looked at his uncle again to answer him. “This is Maria, you must have seen her in the club. She’s with me!” That surprised both Aurora and Maria, but neither of them dared to make a sound.

August seemed to be satisfied with that short explanation. “Whatever! Now, can someone please tell me what the hell happened last night in my club? What kind of vampire was this that almost took out Syverson AND Marshall?” His eyes went back to staring down Aurora. “And what does SHE have to do with it?”

It was Melot’s turn to answer. “That vampire, he freaked out after he fed from Aurora. He was trying to drain her. And he was stronger and faster than a normal vampire.” Aurora started shaking as her thoughts went back to what happened at the club. Melot dragged his chair closer to her so he could wrap his arm around her shivering shoulders.

August shut his eyes for a moment, rolling them back in his head. “And how do you explain that, nephew?” The room was silent for a brief moment, although for Aurora, it felt like hours.

“Her blood has that effect on us. When I fed on her, I could hardly stop, and I felt invincible as long as I drank from her.” August interrupted Melot by crashing his palms onto his desk.

His voice was cold as ice. “And why exactly didn't you tell me about this earlier? WHAT THE HELL DID YOU EXPECT TO HAPPEN IN THE CLUB? WITH STRANGERS FEEDING FROM HER?” August's anger was terrifying, even for Charles and Melot that were used to his sour mood.

Melot was frozen, unable to go on, so Charles tried to help him. “Melot and I, we thought Aurora had this effect only on Melot. She influences him in other ways, too.” Charles wasn't quite sure how to explain it without hurting Aurora. August seemed to be puzzled for a moment. “Maybe the other vampire was 'influenced' by her, too?” It was clear that August understood quite well what Charles meant. He had seen Melot's reaction to Aurora, too. But Charles shook his head. “Syverson interrogated him and he swears he felt nothing for Aurora, except the urge to drink more from her blood.”

August nodded. Aurora couldn't help the feeling that he knew exactly what was going on and just dragged this whole thing out to torture his nephews and her. 

“Show me your wrist, child!” He rounded his desk and squatted down in front of Aurora. His presence and his scent so near to her made Aurora feel the same way as earlier, when she laid her eyes on him the first time. She wanted to obey him, wanted to please him. 

She presented her wrist and August's slender fingers brushed over her skin. Her skin that didn't show any wounds, just two little red spots, barely visible.

Another nod from August. “Let me taste you!” Aurora's eyes shot to Melot in panic. She couldn't let him bite her. She couldn't go through this once more.

But August grabbed her chin and turned her face to look at him. His eyes were glowing deep red with some sparks of amber. “You don't have to be afraid, child. My discipline is not comparable to that of some ordinary vampire. You'll be safe with me.” His deep voice reverberated through her whole body, down to her bones. And to Aurora's surprise, her fear was gone. 

August’s bite wasn’t as gentle as Melot’s, but it also wasn’t the nightmare that happened with the vampire in the club. After just a small sip, August’s mouth left Aurora’s wrist again. He licked over his fangs, a frown forming on his forehead.

“Interesting! I haven’t tasted this in centuries. And I haven’t heard that a new one was living among us.” A smile formed on his face. Aurora’s heart was racing in her chest, she wanted to beg August to finally tell what the hell was going on. But Melot got impatient with the cryptic words of his uncle, too.

“A new what? August, could you please be a little more precise? You know, none of us has the ability to read your mind.” It was bold to speak to August like that, but Melot just couldn’t hold back any longer. He was about to snap if he didn’t finally learn what was going on with the woman he loved.

August threw his head back and laughed. “Melot, Melot, Melot! You have no idea what a present you gave me with your little toy.” He was towering over Aurora with a satisfied grin on his face. Melot and Maria wanted to speak up against August talking of Aurora as a ‘toy’ but the king was faster to resume his speech than they could voice their protest.

“Your lover is so much more than just an ordinary girl.” His finger pushed Aurora’s chin up to look at him. “Who are your parents, child?” Aurora was confused. “My mom died two years ago in a car accident, and my dad is a car mechanic. I… I don’t understand!”

August went back to sit on his chair. He cocked his head, looking at Aurora, and he finally decided to explain.

“If your mother died, then it must be your father. Your real father. Because I doubt a god would work as a mechanic.” August chuckled at the thought of it. “You, Aurora, are a half-goddess. - Oh, I want to know who of them knocked up a human. It’s been so long since that happened.” 

Charles and Melot exchanged looks. They were dreading what was coming next.

“I will tell you about a well-kept secret: The blood of demigods is something very precious to vampires, my dear child. It increases all of our abilities, makes us stronger, faster, almost impossible to kill. Whoever is allowed to drink your blood will be the most powerful being on this planet. I am beyond grateful that my nephew found you and brought you to my home.” Aurora turned to Melot and saw the painful expression on his face. Her heart broke when she realized what this had to mean.

“Aurora, you are welcome as my guest. You won’t be allowed to leave this place, of course. That would be too dangerous for you. And you won’t let my nephew feed from you. No one will, except me. This might sound unfair to you, but I promise I do this to keep you safe. If other vampires learn about your existence, there will be war! And if they get you, you won’t be their guest, you will be their prisoner.”

Tears fell from Aurora’s cheeks. This couldn’t be happening. She was just a college girl, she wasn’t something special. They must have made a mistake. She couldn’t be the reason to fight over, a reason for a war! But the concerned looks of Charles and Melot made her realize that this wasn’t a mistake, or a joke or some stupid game. August spoke the truth. And her life wouldn’t ever be the same. She was supposed to be August’s ‘guest’. Which meant she was a prisoner after all. A bird in a golden cage. 

Part 7

[familyabolisher]

I'm very curious about any more in depth thoughts you have on It Came From The Closet! It's been on my radar and I'd been planning to check it out soon as my next read, and this is the first opinion I've seen on it that isn't part of what feels like marketing reviews almost. Is it the analysis of the horror movies and themes that feels off or the way the essays are written? I'm a huge horror fan and I've definitely seen a...few queer horror takes that felt either like reaches or just "off" to me, but it's always hard to put my finger on it

i’ve only read the first few essays so it’s entirely possible that the volume will improve from here on out (though i … haven’t gotten my hopes up), but my impression so far is that it’s a series of schlocky, surface-level analyses providing a veneer of pop talking points around “horror” and “queerness” over what are often frankly uninteresting personal essays. v little insight and v little desire to bring anything new to the table; frankly, v little interest in the films they purport to be writing on beyond shallow rhetorical vehicles for personal reflection. my patience for The Personal Essay is vvv low at the best of times, but like, i can appreciate a work from which i can glean some compelling insights and articulate a thoughtful response. and, god, none of these pieces have crossed that hurdle so far.

like, if it’s not a long string of appeals to buzzwords like “queerbaiting” and “bury your gays” or v poorly substantiated appeals to "subversion" then it's incorrectly defined “reparative reading” or one writer citing that stupid mary oliver soft animal of your body whatever line out of literally nowhere. it’s just not insightful or imaginative. at its worst it does just read like an annoying tumblr post circa 2017. carmen maria machado writes an essay on jennifer’s body as articulating something essential to her bisexuality such that efforts to talk about the way in which it marketed itself via appealing to the homophobic cultural currency of teen lesbian eroticism somehow constitutes “gatekeeping.” this is not compelling or original critical writing, people.

almost every essay seems to fall back on the same base claim: that what makes horror horrifying relies on a currency of alterity which discursively constructs the “other” and that queer people can & will identify with the “other”—the monster in the horror film—in order to make sense of themselves & overturn the hegemony that the film may well seek to affirm. cool, awesome—this is not new analysis. i would not expect this kind of thing to be churned out in a book published in 2022; we know this already. i worry that overleaning into this idea of a “reclamation” of sorts a) risks forfeiting the language we have available to us to actually talk about the sort of bigotry which can fuel these kinds of stories; how many people talk about le fanu’s carmilla as a stunning depiction of erotic lesbian vampires and lose sight of its having been a v homophobic, colonialist text in their doing so?; and b) neglects the tradition of horror within alterity; horror being made not out of a conservative ethos that we seek to critically remould into a kind of limp simulacrum of a “radical” one, but one born out of a desire to tell a story against heteronormative social imaginaries in the first place. it’s all well and good to identify with regan from the exorcist and cite your poor understanding of reparative readings (not a critical framework i subscribe to anyway, but like, at least get it right?) in doing so, but do we have to keep limiting our discourse to this back-and-forth about whether or not we can salvage obviously homophobic/misogynistic/ableist/racist stories forever? lol. i watched Hellraiser for the first time the other day and that was queer horror that could be met with on far more compelling terms than whatever all this is.

[bumblepony]

Hiiiii ♥️

For the ask game :

♥️✨🦈🎨

🦈 Which character is the toughest to write?

Maria actually. There was just not enough of her in either the video games or the TV show to get a clear picture of her personality. So I am always worried that I am doing her a disservice with my portrayal. So sometimes I don't use her as much in fics as I would like to for that reason.

🎨 If someone were to make fanart of your work, what fic or scene would you hope to see?

I have a fondness for my Unexpected Consequences Fic and would really love a Fanart of The whole Miller Clan when Solana is 14, and the rest of the family is older.

✨️ Out of the comments you’ve received on your fics, what are two or three of your favorites?

This one is hard because, honestly, I appreciate every single comment that comes into my inbox.

I will say there is one in particular that does stick out, and that's one I got from a person who let me know they couldn't see my account on Tumblr for some reason. It turns out I had blocked them because I thought they were a spam account. I've since found it that it was my Discord wifey @ameerawrites before she had fully come into Tumblr. I can't say how happy I am to have gotten that comment because otherwise I might not have meet this wonderful women!

[tellurian-in-aristasia]

Rayati Miss Starry,

I hope that you are well! I very much enjoy your tumblr, and do hope that you keep it up as so much has already been lost. Even if I was always on the periphery of Aristasia, I did enjoy spending time bopping around on my ordie at the Embassy in Virtualia with other pettes or watching kinnies (Olivia!). I feel a trifle guilty since I was one of the late 2000s members to bring in more of the kawaii aesthetic, wearing Lilian uniforms from Maria-sama ga Miteru before even Sushuri-Madonna made the switch.

I think the tip over into Chelouranya was driven by this and even though there were at times hints of Japonisme already there (especially in Arcadia and Trintesse? Is that the other? The one that’s markedly similar to Tellurian 20s. It’s been over a decade, so I don’t remember everything.). The tip into fandom and otherkin nonsense in elektraspace really seemed driven by that, and even though there was some logic to it I believe their (our) youthful ignorance created chaos since there was a profound lack of understanding of the background and humor in Aristasia (the positive parts). Again, I’ve always been at the periphery, but I do have so much theorizing.

I hope that you’re sure to keep backing up your records on the internet archive wayback machine and keep a pdf back up file of your blog (pdfs are very stable).

I’m not Aristasian myself, nor was I ever, but for a while it was good fun dancing at the Embassy and was sad when the land was removed since I’d assumed it was old enough and in an unchanging are of SL that I thought it was staying preserved in time even if it was empty.

À toute à l’heure,

Amitiés

Miss Rosalie

Rayati Miss Rosalie,

Thank you so much for your kind message. I always, genuinely, appreciate any of these firsthand accounts from the girls who mingled with the Aristasians. I think they’re immensely important to archive, as all that remains are tiny amounts of archived forum posts, and even then, they were all in character.

I would love to hear any other memories you might have of your time dancing at the Embassy! As well as your theorizing, if you’re willing to share!

As you may have gathered from my posts or “about” page, I was also never an Aristasian, I never even had the chance to visit their Embassy in Virtualia, as I never could get Second Life to run well. But I watched them from afar with admiration and frustration, and have very appreciative of any insights and stories from those who were there, as well as their filianist sisters.

I’ve been sure to make backups to the Wayback Machine to any websites I still find available, and have been backing up my own works in multiple locations (I’m working on transferring my Tumblr blog to a, slightly more organized, Wordpress blog, since Tumblr doesn’t always play along with the Wayback Machine), as well as uploading whatever PDFs I find to Archive.org. It’s sad that so much has been lost already, but there are definitely other pettes out there trying to keep the memory of Aristasia alive in some way!

Your Humble Editress,

Miss Starry

[thedamageofherdays]

This week's (16-08-2021 - 22-08-2021) reading log is here. This week's reading log is super duper long and filled with lots of good things (my apologies for the long post, I really could not find a good spot to do a read more). I discovered some new favourites and re-read some old favourites and while I had an intense week personally at least the fics I read were absolutely phenomenal. I do recommend checking out the warnings as some fics are a bit heavier/angstier and you might wanna be prepared. Most of these fics are Stucky but there are a couple of other ships in between.

If you are looking for more fun and/or good things make sure to check out the @marveldisabilitycelebration as well to see all the awesome art, fics, meta, etcetera people created! And while I am mentioning events I am a mod for let me also just quickly mention that sign-ups for the @stuckygiftexchange are still open until the end of the month <3

Favourites are marked with a 🌻 Fics that are only available to AO3 users are marked with a 🔒 and Tumblr fics are marked with a 🍀

🌻 The Bends by dreamsinthewitchouse @dreamsinthewitchouse [Danbeau, side Stucky, 2k words, Teen]

Memory is not a house you can just walk back into after finding the key you thought you’d lost. It’s a thing you wade into and out of, rewriting it as it rewrites you.

It’s not without its rewards, either - recovering a memory about Maria and Monica, about her life, feels better than socking a thousand bad guys in the face, better than all the photon blasts in the world.

Then again, realising there’s still memories she can’t access, even after all this time, feels like drowning in space.

Not the one out there - the one inside her.

🌻 Sweet & Salty by musette22 @musette22 [Stucky, 3k words, Teen]

Idiots in love. That's it. That's the fic.

When life gives you lemons by moonythejedi394 @moonythejedi394 [Stucky, 34k words, Explicit] (11/15 chapters)

Or 13 Terrible Things to Do With Lemons Other Than Making Lemonade

Steve Rogers is a home health nurse. He works for an agency, which assigned him to the aging Winifred Barnes, the one and only Silent Era Hollywood darling. As her needs increased, she requested the agency assign Steve to her full-time. She could pay for it, so she got it. Steve then moved in with her, becoming her caregiver; he cooked, he cleaned, he managed her medications, he made sure she was comfortable.

Winifred's children treated him less than ideally. He was the help, after all. And then Steve had the audacity to go and turn out to be eldest son James Barnes's soulmate. No one saw that coming.

🍀 SamRhodey Tumblr Fic by ipoiledi [SamRhodey, ? words, Teen?]

“Wilson, this is Rhodey; Rhodey, Wilson,” Tony Stark says, and suddenly some six foot tall sexy guy is shoved right in front of Sam, and they both stumble a little, bumping into each other. This is a crowded party. “You guys have things in common, right?” Stark asks. “Uh, Army stuff. Talk about that. I hate wallflowers; stop wallflowering and talk to each other.”

Shorteralls by moonythejedi394 [Stucky, 6k words, Explicit]

The first time Bucky ever saw Steve Rogers, he was struck by how Neanderthal-like his response was. It was immediately followed by a bout of mental scolding. The second time was just about the same. The third time, it was actually appropriate for Bucky to start a conversation with him, at which point he was determined to be the gentleman.

No such luck. Steve Rogers is, always has been and always will be, a relentless flirt. These days, Bucky's Neanderthal-ist feelings about Steve are consensual and highly appreciated. More so now that they're having a baby.

what the fuck are perfect places anyway by tigerlilycorinne [Stucky, 6k words, Teen]

Steve clears his throat and stands. “Well, I should head in. I might want to begin packing.”

Bucky stills. “You won’t,” he says, trying to sound commanding. It only comes out uncertain. “Don’t.”

Steve shakes his head. “Maybe not tonight,” he says, and Bucky knows they’ll be discussing this again soon.

“Then stay. Play… play cards with me or something.”

Steve’s eyebrows jump up, his mouth tugging up in another of his bemused smiles that do things to Bucky’s insides, but he drops his hand from the doorway and steps back into Bucky’s room. Somehow, Bucky feels as if he’s won—not the war, just the battle.

Steve won’t stay forever. But he’ll stay for cards.

Steve and Bucky, on the run after Civil War (with a few alterations to canon), are laying low in Wakanda. But they can’t stay there forever.

🌻 honestly thought i’d be dead by now, but what you can trust is that i need your touch by moonythejedi394 [Stucky, 105k words, Explicit]

Bucky is 37 years old; he’s unmarried, hasn’t had a Sub of his own, is definitely not ripped, comfortable at his job as an Advanced Practice RN at Brooklyn General ER, and just got his Five Years coin from AA.

Steve is 26 years old; he’s unmarried, his last and only Dom has Alzheimer's, he's worryingly muscular, uncomfortable in his job as the government’s poster Alpha for masculinity and strength, and worries more than he should about his BMI.

Unfortunately, Steve and Bucky meet initially in a not-cute moment. Bucky’s tired as shit thanks to the sudden alien invasion that shook New York and Steve is tired as shit because he hasn’t slept more than 20 minutes at a time in – well, since 1936, probably. Bucky’s Alpha instincts get irritated at the sudden presence of another "Alpha" into his territory and Steve’s suppressed submissive tendencies latch onto this grumpy bachelor Alpha and he only suppresses it further.

Bucky’s grumpiness and Steve’s duckling impressionism aside, both of them are a mess. But since both of them are a mess? Their messes seem to fit pretty well together.

Deep Sea Diving by Aida Ronan [Stucky, 5k words, Explicit]

Steve's wallowing in heat-related misery under a shade tree in Central Park when a man walks by in bright red booty shorts and a crop top. RIP Steve Rogers. It was nice knowing you.

honey, make this easy by steebadore [Stucky, 8k words, Explicit]

Bucky likes the way he looks. His silk button up with the tiny gold polka dots feels soft on his skin and is tailored perfectly; no pulling at his chest or belly. His hair falls in shiny dark waves and his skin is smooth and dewy. He looks expensive. He looks taken care of. He looks like Steve’s.

🌻 let's take it back to the start by howdoyousleep @howdoyousleep3 [Stucky, 6k words, Teen]

How it all began.

This sleepwalking through my life. by barthelme [Stucky, 1k words, Explicit]

The internet is an interesting place and when Bucky came home (or, when he came to live with Steve), Steve did a lot of research. Apparently, it’s not safe to wake a sleepwalker. He assumes that waking a sleepwalker with traumatic dreams and PTSD is beyond just being frowned upon.

And he tells himself--has told himself--that this is safer for Bucky. That if he were to stop him and wake him up, that Bucky would be mortified to be slurping on his best friend’s cock. That all of the improvements he’s made would be lost, would be repressed, would be just--

They’d be back at square one.

So he lets Bucky do it.

🌻 the way i've been craving by howdoyousleep [Stucky, 3k words, Explicit]

"Lunch break at 12:30. My office. Hope you’re hungry…"

It’s the ellipsis that sends Bucky’s insides swimming warmly, his heart beating twice as fast against his ribs where he sits in class. Senator Rogers is concise, direct, to the point. Without an ellipsis this is lunch, this is a meeting. With it though?

This is a booty call.

nasty but classy by howdoyousleep [Stucky, 4k words, Explicit]

“No, you don’t have to know the purpose, that doesn’t matter. Nat showed me this challenge where couples drink a lot of wine and get drunk together but they can’t touch each other. And whoever touches the other first has to...has to give the other head.”

🌻 Put It on Repeat, It Stays the Same by giselleslash [Stucky, 20k words, Explicit]

Steve and Bucky have a one night stand that turns into a friends with benefits situation. A weekend snowed in at Bucky’s apartment brings to light how much that really doesn’t suit either one of them.

Greetings to the New Brunette by victoria_p (musesfool) [Stucky, 10k words, General]

"You said he should have a hobby. That it would help."

"I meant, like, knitting or coin collecting. Motocross, if he was feeling antsy. A baby's not a hobby. It's lifetime commitment."

🌻 Rogers & Barnes: Partners by triedunture [Stucky, 10k words, Teen]

Steve and Bucky have to pose as a couple for a mission. Nat insists it really is the only option. She's checked.

The complication: unbeknownst to even Natasha, Steve and Bucky's friendship has been rocky ever since Bucky confessed his tender feelings and Steve left him out in the cold. Can asexual, completely-in-love-with-his-angry-best-friend Steve complete the mission and win Bucky's heart?

(The answer is yes. Yay!)

this will be our year (took a long time to come) by biblionerd07 [Stucky, 4k words, General]

Bucky's therapist is worried he's using Steve as a crutch and wants him to try going on outings without Steve. It wouldn't be terrible, honestly, if Bucky could just manage to open his mouth and say something to Steve.

I'll hold my breath by Little_Lottie (tfwatson) [Stucky, 8k words, Mature]

Sometimes Bucky’s hands flex in Steve's direction. Neither of them knows exactly why, but at least one of them has a hunch.

Bucky touches everything but Steve, even though Steve is all he really wants to touch.

Start from the Beginning by Mumble_Bee [Stucky, 13k words, Explicit]

What about a sex pollen fic where the pollen-ed one doesn’t remember getting hit in the face with a sex flower, and wakes up midway through the depollenating?

Or: the one where Steve wakes up on his back with a stranger buried balls-deep in his ass.

Match by emphasisonem [Stucky, 4k words, Mature]

The situation’s actually kind of funny from the right perspective, Bucky thinks as he reads the message for what feels like the hundredth time. He’s finally matched with a hot, funny guy. Tall and broad and clean cut. An absolutely breathtaking smile. Bucky’s walking wet dream. And he’s good. They haven’t messaged on the app, but Bucky already knows him.

He knows him because Steve Rogers is an art history professor at his university. His art history professor.

Best friends and married since childhood by StuckySituation [Stucky, 1k words, General]

Inspired by @/peterssquill's post in tumblr: "bucky and steve got married on the playground when they were like eight and though neither of them would ever admit it to anyone, even each other, they still consider it official"

~♥~ ♥~ ♥~

“Natasha, stop trying to set me up with every woman you meet, I’m-”

“Too shy? Too scared?”

“No, I’m-”

“Too busy? You’re mostly retired these days, not a good excuse anymore.” Natasha smirks and then drawls: “Or just too gay?”

Steve flushes at that, even if isn’t true -- he’s bisexual, not gay. “Let it go, Nat, I’m not looking for anything. I’m already married, for fuck’s sake.”

Clearly not what she expected. “What.”

Steve grimaces. He didn’t mean to tell anyone that, ever.

“Sorry, can’t talk about it right now!” he says and jumps out of the plane.

Nobody Should Be Alone on a Holiday by emphasisonem [Stucky, 2k words, Teen]

“So, um-” Bucky begins speaking again, pulling Steve from his less-than-work-appropriate thoughts. The brunet has shoved his hands into the pockets of his dark slacks, and he’s shifting from one foot to the other as he smiles shyly. “I have a question for you.”

“Shoot,” Steve grins, leaning back in his chair and crossing his arms over his broad chest. Bucky swallows deeply as one of his hands comes up to pull at the collar of his button-up, and Steve can’t help following the motion of his Adam’s apple.

“I was, uh-” Bucky continues- “That is, I heard you don’t have Thanksgiving plans?”

In which Bucky finds out that Steve's going to be alone on Thanksgiving and invites his coworker to spend the holiday with him.

🌻 It's Been A Long Season Through by thiccbuckybarnes @thiccbuckybarnesfic [Stucky, 49k words, Explicit]

Bucky Barnes is in desperate need of a change in scenery, which is why he makes the foolhardy decision to quit his job, leave his asshole of a fiance, pack up his life, and move to his grandfather’s old farm all within a single day.

He expects confusion, hardship, and maybe even failure. But love? He wasn’t expecting that.

--

Or, a Stucky Stardew Valley AU that nobody but me wanted and that’s ok.

oh, peach pit, where'd the hours go? by thiccbuckybarnes [Stucky, 10k words, Explicit]

Can't see the forest for the trees.

--

Or, Steve learns that just because he and Bucky got their happily ever after, it doesn’t mean the past won’t come back to bite them.

I'll find my way by rainbow_nerds [Stucky, 725 words, Teen]

Steve had watched Bucky fall, and nothing had been the same since.

AU-gust day 19: Daemons

special delivery by glim @glim [Stucky, 6k words, Teen]

It's not that Steve's bad at taking care of himself when he gets sick; he just wishes he didn't have to all the time.

At least he can order most of what he needs online. That's some small comfort, that he can have soup and ice cream and everything else brought to his door.

at first chance i'd take the bed warmed by the body by spacebuck @spacebuck [Stucky, 8k words, Explicit]

This close, Steve can see exactly how beautiful his hands are. He’s never really noticed before, or at least he’s never really had a reason to notice, but the man’s hands are large, tanned like he works outside all day. There’s an endearing callus on the heel of one of his palms, and Steve can’t quite work out when calluses became endearing.

Steve pauses the video. Swallows hard. Casts his eyes around for anything that’ll keep his mind off the hands on his screen, off the words inked into those hands, the delicate shape of a bird’s wing, the curling edge of a vine.

He looks down. The name of the channel is right there, blaring the man’s name right into Steve’s brain until it feels like he’s known it all along.

Bucky Barnes.

OR: the one where Bucky's a youtuber who solves puzzles on camera, and steve's smitten and horny

🌻 Rock On! by millesable @marvelousescapism [Clintasha, 700 words, General]

“Hey, Romanoff!”

He lifted his hand, index finger and pinky finger raised, thumb out, all other fingers tucked. Their secret sign; their confession for the world to see, safe in the knowledge that the world wasn’t listening.

“Rock on!”

🌻 You Like the Way I Look by dontcallmebree @iamthe-wo-manwhocan [Stucky, 2k words, Explicit]

Bucky sidles up to him, hand boldly coming to rest on his chest. “What about you, big guy? Care for a dance?” Steve watches Bucky’s eyes twinkle with satisfaction, somehow already knowing he’s got Steve on the hook.

A decade out of the ice, Steve Rogers returns to New York. Reeling from a battle against the Chitauri, a night with the troublesome Bucky Barnes might be just what he needs.

Join the Rebellion by rainbow_nerds [Stucky, 765 words, Teen]

Bucky knew he shouldn't be out after curfew, but he couldn't resist the urge. He didn’t know where he was going, but he knew it was where he wanted to be.

AU-gust day 20: Dystopia

🔒 Five Days in December by mywingsareonwheels @mywingsareonwheels [Evanstan, 4k words, Teen]

“Shit shit shit shit...” muttered Chris to himself, glad that the sound of piped Christmas carols was drowning out his swearing amid the picture books. Most of the store was heaving even though it was Sunday, he’d been recognised at least three times, finding presents for all of his nieces and nephews was proving far more of a headache than expected, and he’d just sent a pile of copies of "Strictly No Elephants" tumbling off the bookshelf.

He scrambled about trying to pick them all up, and then dropped them again as someone bumped right into his backside. He lost his balance, caught himself against a bookcase, and a landslide of "Carter Is a Painter’s Cat" joined "Strictly No Elephants" on the floor. He yelped.

“Ah fuck, I’m so sorry… Chris!”

* * * * * * * * * *

London, December 2021. Amid cats, books, and the cold English drizzle, Chris finds everything he was hoping for and thought he would never have.

* * * * * * * * * * * *

Reaching for Fire by dixons_mama @dixons-mama [Stucky, 7k words, Explicit]

Bucky has always felt a fire in his heart (and other body parts) when it came to his boss, Steve Rogers, but he's made sure to never feed those flames. When he finds out about Steve's second job, though, he's tempted to let that fire out.

i've been dreaming of a face like yours by thiccbuckybarnes [Stucky, 3k words, Explicit]

Bucky is about to busy himself with making a small dinner for himself when he stops in his tracks at the figure drinking a cup of coffee in the kitchen, leaning against the counter and smirking at him.

It’s Steve.

“Surprise, sweet boy,” he says before setting his cup down.

--

Or, PWP reunion sex

🌻 Somewhere, Under Your Skin by thiccbuckybarnes [Stucky, 16k words, Explicit]

Bucky Barnes treats himself to a one-night stand after having a very bad no good day.

The sex is good--great, even. Might be the best sex of his life.

But Bucky wouldn’t have slept with the guy if he had known that he was going to continuously run into him every day for the next fucking month.

--

Or, a Big Grump Bucky has a hot one night stand with a college kid who is popping up everywhere in his everyday life and he doesn’t know how to deal with it.

(Written for HYBB Bingo Square: Grumpy Bucky)

i've played heartstrings before but not in your key by thiccbuckybarnes [Stucky, 11k words, Explicit]

He glances down, seeing a folded couple of papers, before peering up at Bucky. The older man is biting his bottom lip, making it pretty and red. Steve wants to run his tongue across where his teeth are digging into his flesh.

"What's this?" Steve asks, setting his phone down, emails forgotten. Bucky shrugs and looks away.

"I dunno. You tell me, genius," he says, sounding bratty enough that it makes Steve's dick twitch in his pants. Jesus, there has to be something wrong with him.

Steve glances once more at Bucky, who now has his arms crossed against his chest and is pointedly not looking at Steve, before picking up the stack of folded papers. He opens them, seeing a collection of maybe five or six sheets of paper. His eyes immediately land on the list of familiar words with negative next to each one. -- Or, Steve Rogers is a jealous, possessive little shit that wants nothing more than to mark up his boyfriend and stake his claim. And Bucky knows it. (And he likes it.)

🌻 I'm Home (With You) by BonkyBornes @padfoot-and-the-marauders [Stucky, 2k words, General]

In any other circumstance, the apartment would've been perfect. But it was today, and the fact that he was here meant he wasn’t out searching. He knew they hadn’t had any leads for weeks and he knew Natasha was right; all three of them were exhausted and a break would do them good. It just felt wrong to Steve that he was comfortable while Bucky was still out there—somewhere. Probably cold. Probably hungry.

The knock came again. Sighing, Steve unwrapped his hand from the dog tags and remembered how to move. Cold wind and snow greeted him when he opened the door. The solitary figure was walking down the steps, collar popped against the chill.

“Did you need something?” he called.

The person stopped. They were still. And then they turned. *

Or, the Christmas Steve deserved after Winter Soldier.

The portrait by rainbow_nerds [Stucky, 915 words, General]

Steve Rogers has a Gift. He can help people find their soulmates, all he needs is some art supplies, a quiet place, and eye contact.

AU-gust day 21: soulmates

Maybe A Muse by buckybarnesdeservestobehappy [Stucky, 2k words, Mature]

When Bucky Barnes needs extra money, he’s appalled that his best friends think he should become a model for the art department on campus. Shy, nerdy, and socially awkward, he’s not sure that’s something he feels comfortable doing. Still, he needs money, and he likes the idea of becoming someone’s muse. The problem is he had no idea two things would happen. First, one of the students in the class is exactly his type; second, he has to model nude.

[katzkinder]

Day 8: Melancholy/THANK YOU!

I ended up joining Servamp fandom here on tumblr about... Four years ago now? In 2018, right after moving to a different state and leaving everything I knew behind. I found the anime by complete chance while browsing the Josei tag, and now... Here I am!!

I don’t know where I would be right now without this fandom, I really, truly, don’t. I’ve met so many wonderful, kind, amazing people through this series, rediscovered my love of creation, and made tons of friends!

To everyone who’s been with me on this journey... THANK YOU!

First up, @hello-vampire-kitty thank you for your hard work translating the chapters! I really appreciate the translation notes you add, and how clearly important it is to you to treat this series with the love the English localization won’t /hj

@xchibikai thank you for providing the RAWs! You’ve been doing it for so long, and without you and Kitty, we’d all be totally lost! Not to mention your Tsukimitsu sib art always makes me feel so warm and fuzzy; it’s so cute!

@servamp-announcements Even though you just started, I’m already so grateful! The formatting on posts is really easy to read, and the blog theme is also very easy to navigate! I especially appreciate that you provide sources and links back to the original announcements 🥰

@ryotakun-translations it looks like I can’t tag you, but I still wanted to give my thanks! Commissioning translations from you is always so easy and pleasant, and I know I’m getting quality work when I do.

@kalu-chan Thank you for uploading the interactions from Final Servamp Quest, and the translation for both the White Day routes and Gear of Night Trick! Your doc was super easy to navigate, and it must have taken a long time.

@rubyleaf We haven’t really ever talked before, but I still wanted to take a moment to say thanks!! Your fanfic Guilty Pleasure Friends is AMAZING, and I really admire the dedication it takes to keep updating something like that for so long. I love reading it during long car rides, and the cafe scene to this day brings me so much joy

@crazyanime3 I’ve been taking excellent care of the boys you sent me... Was it already two years ago?? Thank you for helping me start my collection way back when! I still have the little message and doodle you sent along with the buttons, saved somewhere safe

@snowlilys-wife @cottoncanada @shinychxndelure Thank you for being so supportive and accepting! I love talking with you all and hashing out scenarios and headcanons is always really fun! Also, y’all are funny af

@mahi-does-some-art @pomfry @hisakata-resutomoshibi @yarrayora @haru-jje @unwelcomedfox  @revoleotion @xthunderbolt @madburnishes @tipzycat y’all some talented and also incredibly sweet motherfuckers, holy shit. I’m so, so glad I met all of you.

@joydoesathing your genderbend designs are always so creative and I love so, so many of them! I think my favorites are Gil and Hugh. I also love your Virtues au a lot, too! Your eye for character design is incredible, and then you do all that in pen on top of it? Amazing!!

@chayam-chi Your art is so cute! You’re such a sweet person, and so funny, too! I always look forward to seeing you on my dash, and I look forward to seeing where you go from here!!

@danozi1 Your sense of humor and the creepy cuteness of your works always scratch a very specific itch for me, and also you have Good Taste

@mystivio @meiwaku-san Your panel colorings are so good and always leave me floored. Like, coloring goals, full on.

@random-husky I’ve super duper enjoyed everything you’ve posted this week, from your ideas to your compositions, you’re so creative!!

@kiwitheweebartist you’re getting better and better every day! Your little commentary posts and random thoughts are all very cute and it makes me smile whenever I read one.

@kchk-55 @d01110010rr You’re so young, but already so talented?? I’m amazed! I hope good things find you both going forward, and that school and life in general is easy on you. If anyone is mean to y’all, I’ll beat them up!!

@jutsuzuban MIKEY. YOU. I love you!!

@niccodoesart Sushi! I love the way you color; you’re so good with markers! The way you draw feet is so cute ❤

@faith-gigliorosa Your edits are so cool, holy shit. I always look forward to them! Ballad of the mona lisa is still one of my favorites.

@blackrose4242564 @theartcat2 @maria-the-mage @wingedpaperpeachpurse @radioactivesweet @fgfhfhfhf @ourelenabespalovafan @ezuja-deatro @ninjagirl142 @pause143 I see you guys in my notes for practically everything I post and thank you so much for your support!!!

@bluemoonfantasiesiii there’s a lot of things I could say to you and about you. There’s a lot of things I want to express. There’s a lot of moments and talks that I hold dear to my heart, but I think the best way to sum up my feelings towards you, is this... ......... >:3c

... That was a lot of people, huh. |D Sorry if I annoyed anyone with this, but I just... Wanted to express my sincere gratitude to each and every one of you. I’m a better, happier person for each person I’ve met here, and I’ve never quite had this kind of experience within a fandom before. I’m glad Servamp was the first time I held my hand out within an online community to quite this degree, and thank you to every single person who reached back.

A very merry, very belated, HAPPY 10TH ANNIVERSARY to you all!

[donutloverxo]

My moon and stars

**not my gif**

Please note that my work is not to be reposted or published anywhere other than my Tumblr or AO3 account without my permission. Reblogs are most welcome though!

Note - this is for @our-marvel-universe's birthday! I'm so sorry I'm late and that I'm bad at summaries.

Divider by @writeyourmindaway

Date posted - 26-08-20/Wed

Summary - Steve swoops in and saves your birthday with some stargazing and confessions.

Pairing - Steve Rogers x reader

Word count - 1386

Masterlist is linked in the bio!

You groaned as another person bumped into you, spilling a good amount of their drink on you. They didn't even bother apologizing, probably thinking that you're just a nobody, even though this was your party.

You had never had a huge birthday bash before or tons of presents, you were so naively excited when Tony told you he was throwing you one and inviting the whole city. You felt for some reason, they're here because they care for you or the super hero work you do everyday.

You couldn't be more wrong. Most of them didn't even know you. Your own family and friends, other than the Avengers had failed to show up. Now you could only look at the crowd of people and shake your head in disappointed.

Resisting the urge to punch Tony in his stupid face when he so smugly asked, 'You like the party?'

You would've, despite everything, but he wasn't here. He was gone on some stupid mission. Not that you cared that much. He wasn't yours, he didn't need to wish you a happy birthday or attend your party. You still couldn't help but hold out hope that you'd both stop dancing around each other.

No longer interested in the party where even the people you knew were completely drunk you made your way over to your favorite part of the compound.

You held on to your jacket a little tighter as you shivered, the wind messing up your fancy hairstyle. You looked up at the sky to see so many twinkling stars and beautiful colors, something you don't get in cities. You wouldn't trade this view for anything.

You instantly became alert when you heard someone stand behind you. You looked over your shoulder to see the man of your dreams, your captain, someone you had a hopeless schoolgirl crush on.

"Hey." Was all he said giving you a pathetic wave as you huffed.

Folding your hands over your chest you asked "Where were you? You didn't even tell me you were leaving. Not - not that I'd care why would I?" You stammered as you feared you had just accidentally revealed your deepest secret. "You're not that important Steve!" You yelled in an effort to backtrack.

He furrowed his brows before giving you a stupidly handsome smile, "I'm so sorry doll. But I'm here now. Tell me how I can make it up to you."

"Whatever. It doesn't matter." You said dejectedly as you turned around to lean against the railing and continue your stargazing.

"I just knew you'd be here when I didn't see you at the party.” He mumbled under his breath as he stood next to you. You could see him staring at you through your peripheral vision. “What’s wrong kid?”

You winced at the nickname. That’s what he thought of you, that’s all you’ll ever be to him. A Kid. Over the months, you had tried your best to act like an adult, taking some tips from Maria and Nat, to be cool and non-chalant, you doubted he’ll ever change his mind and think of you as a woman or a possible romantic partner.

You shook your head which only made him probe further. “Doll. You’re sulking on your own birthday. You can talk to me.” He assured you putting his hand over yours.

The warmth of his palms and his finger drawing patterns on the back of your hand felt so familiar and comfortable. You tried looked for his sparkly blue eyes best you could in the dark, his pupils blown wide.

“I used to think... I know this is childish but I thought - I don’t know people appreciated me putting my life on the line everyday. And that’s not why I do it obviously.” You had to clarify. You could pretend to hate him but you never wanted him to have a low opinion of you. “It’s just sad that no one sees the work that I do while you’re all so well known and beloved. It’s sucks to be a female avenger I guess” You shrugged.

He gave you an understanding smile and walked a step closer to you as you tried to calm your heartbeat. “I understand. It’s not childish. You deserve to be appreciated. And I can think of at least a couple hundred people who’re thankful to you. All the lives you’ve saved. You make the world a better place.”

“I don’t know how true that is.”

“Well you make my world better just by being here.” He argued.

“Steve,” You shook your head, “You can’t just say things like that! I’m not – it gives me false hope.”

“False hope?” He repeated cocking his head to the side. “I only ever speak the truth sweetheart. In fact I think it’s time for your gift.” He pulled out a piece of paper from his pocket and handed it to you.

You frowned as you tried to read the paper in the low lightening. “Oh... Steve.. you named a star after me?” You looked up at him to see him sheepishly scratch his neck. “That’s so romantic.” You sighed dreamily holding the document close to you.

“I asked around and Bruce told me I could do that. I could even get you a piece of moon but this felt more appropriate. I know how much you love stars.”

He rambled on about the whole process and how his assistant helped him, hoping you wouldn’t see notice how red he was. His gift wasn’t completely selfless. He had an objective, to make you his forever and ever. But he was too scared to ruin the relationship you two did have and lose a precious friend.

Bucky’s words echoed in his head ‘Real men can admit their feelings.’

He cleared his throat “I was hoping –“ he was cut off by your cool lips pressing against his, stealing his breath away. His hands naturally went to your waist to pull you closer to him, his taut body craving the warmth of your soft one.

You pulled away after a beat and blinked up at him. “Oh god, I’m so sorry. I didn’t think I thought...”

“No no I liked it. In fact I was hoping to do that.” His fingers traced the outline of your lips.

“Good.” You nodded not sure of what to say next. But it felt better to just not say anything at all and look back up at the beautiful sky in comfortable silence.

Until the whole team decided to ambush you from, you heard Clint and a drunk Tony sneaking up on you, they really weren’t as sneaky as they thought but you still humored them by acting surprised.

“What the hell girrrl? We’ve been looking everywhere for you. But then I was like we can just ask FRIDAY! So we did.” Tony grinned proudly as his words slurred.

You took the beer bottle away from him “Yeah I’m going to cut you off now.”

“What were you doing here though?” Clint asked and you said something about needing air.

Steve couldn’t help but stare at you as you talked to the rest of the team. Feeling a bit of jealousy and even frustration that they all had to interrupt the precious moment you both shared.

“Did you do it punk?” Bucky asked slapping a hand on his shoulder to get his attention.

“Uh yeah. I mean I didn’t – she did.” He replied lowly so no one else could find out just yet.

“Of course she did.” Steve frowned as his oldest friend clutched his stomach, laughing loudly at him. “After all these years you still haven’t changed.” He shook his head and all Steve could do was smile. “I’m happy for you.” He said and meant it, so proud of his friend.

When Steve was finally able to get you alone, glad that your mood had gotten considerably better, you even seemed to be a bit buzzed from the booze.

“You were right Steve.” You said holding onto his arm treating him like your own personal heater as the night got cooler. “Everyone who matters to me does appreciate me. Especially you.” You leaned up on your tippy toes to peck his lips before scurrying off to tell everyone about the star named after you.

Tags will be in the reblog! Click the link in the bio to be join the taglist or shoot me an ask/dm. Comments and feedback are really appreciated! ❤❤

[angstysebfan]

Choices- Chapter 1

Pairing: Steve X Reader, Bucky Reader (not Stucky)

Summary: You fall in love with a super soldier, but after a decision that leaves you heartbroken you find yourself needing to decide where your heart truly lies.

A/N: requested by @tweedlydumbtweedlydoo​ Hope its everything you want! I tried to put this up last night and tumblr posted the title and deleted the story so I had to rewrite it. 

--

You joined the Avengers eight months ago, and have so far loved every minute of it. You have progressively worked your way through SHIELD, and impressed Nick Fury and Maria Hill to the point that they, themselves, requested you join the team. Before you knew it, you were meeting “THE” Captain America and “THE” Tony Stark, which made you so nervous, and you had to admit, photos and TV did not do Steve justice. After a short conversation, you impressed them enough to hire you right on spot, and you moved into the compound.

You were being mentored by Bucky Barnes, and you both became pretty close friends over your first few months. You had to admit photos and TV did not do Bucky justice either, as he was also a gorgeous man. However, in your opinion, Steve was cuter and made your heart race. 

During those first few months you were barely able to speak to Steve. You were get all flustered, blush as red as a tomato, could barely speak a cognitive sentence, and you definitely couldn’t look him in those beautiful blue eyes. Bucky would constantly tease you about it, “I swear if you turn any redder in front of Stevie, I think he will assume you think impure thoughts,” Bucky said with a chuckle.

You smacked his chest as gasped, “Shut up! I can’t help it! I am in so much trouble when it comes to Steve.” you said shaking your head with your hands covering your face. “Why don’t you just try and have a normal conversation with him. Then you will see he isn’t as special as you think, and just a punk.” Bucky said with a smirk.

You took Bucky’s advice and finally forced yourself to have a simple conversation with Steve. From there you both sought each other out to talk about everything and anything. That transformed into going out for coffee and lunch together. Finally Steve asked you out on a proper date, and it was the best night of your life.

--

It’s been six months since you and Steve started dating and you couldn’t be happier. You spend as much time together as possible, including training with Bucky. Bucky couldn’t believe you actually got the guts to talk to Steve, and would still tease you, even now, but you know he is happy his two closest friends are together.

One day you are in the gym with Steve and Bucky, working on your hand to hand combat. You were in the middle of sparring with Bucky, with Steve giving pointers, when a tall blonde suddenly walked into the gym. You noticed Steve stopped paying attention and stared in awe at the blonde woman you didn’t recognize. 

“Sharon!” Steve shouted with a smile, before running over and giving her a hug. You stared at the interaction trying to figure out who this woman was and why you never met her before if Steve seemed to know her so well. Bucky sees your face and leans in, “Sharon Carter, she is Peggy Carter’s niece.” he whispered in your ear.

Your heart dropped slightly as you took in Bucky’s words. You weren’t stupid, you knew who Peggy Carter was, and especially who she was to Steve back in the day. You also heard all about the history of Steve and Sharon years ago when Steve was trying to save Bucky. You found yourself wondering how you could compete as you watched Steve and Sharon laughing with each other.

You give Bucky a small smile and start heading toward the door, ignoring Bucky’s concerned gaze. Just as you’re about to leave the gym, you hear Steve call out to you, “Y/N!” he shouts before running over to you. “Where are you going?” he asks with furrowed brows. “Oh I figured I would just leave you and your friend to catch up, I really need to shower.” you say. 

Steve smiles, “Well come meet her, and then we can shower together,” Steve says linking your fingers together and giving you a small peck on the lips. Before you can answer, Steve pulls you over to the blonde, who shows some minor interest in you. “Sharon, this is my girlfriend Y/N. Y/N, this is a friend of mine, Sharon Carter.” Steve says with a proud smile.

You give a polite smile and shake her hand, “Nice to meet you Sharon.” you say. She gives a polite smile, “You too, Y/N. Steve, I didn’t know you added another girl to your list.” Sharon says to Steve with a giggle. Your smile falls, but you quickly compose yourself and look confident, “Well we have been together for awhile now, so as far as I am concerned that list is gone.” you say.

Sharon looks at you with arrogance, “Well as we all know it’s the woman at the top of the list that really count.” she says to you. “And yet he seemed to move on from those women no problem!” you say and look at Steve. Steve just looked back and forth between the two of you in shock, meanwhile Bucky is trying hard not to laugh, but is proud you are standing up for yourself.

“Well it was lovely to meet you Sharon, but Steve and I have a shower to get to. Come on babe.” you say pulling Steve with you. “Oh no worries, I will be here for awhile now, ya know helping out with missions, working closely with Steve.” Sharon calls as you head toward the door.

You refuse to answer as you pull Steve out of the gym. As you get into the elevator, Steve looks at you, “Well that was interesting.” he said. You scoff, “She obviously is not over whatever short fling you had with her,” you say. Steve wraps his arms around your waist, “Don’t worry baby, She is just a friend.” he says before kissing your lips.

You nod and nuzzle into his chest as the elevator goes up to your floor. You can’t help thinking that Sharon was going to be nothing but trouble.

--

Chapter 2

Here we go!!! Feedback is always appreciated!

Taglist: @hailmary-yramliah​ @tuiccim​ @comedictragedy​ @cap-n-stuff​ @thefridgeismybestie​ @swiftmind​ @aleaisntcreative​ @lookiamtrying​ @pinknerdpanda​ @morganclaire4​ @iamvalentinaconstanza​ @verygraphicink​ @im-squished​ @joannie95​

[katie-writes24]

Last Chance

Pairing: Alexander Hamilton x reader

Warnings: Language, suggestive material, brief religious content ig, angst, fluff, weddings, bad officiant script (if that makes sense), irl it’s kinda wrong but just go with it.

Part 2

I’ll just get straight to the point, Taylor Swift was the cause of this..... That’s it! You’re welcome, enjoy! Lemme know if you want to be tagged. Oh and also, can we appreciate that I finally figured out to put the ‘keep reading’ feature on because I finally set tumblr up on my computer? Yay me, this is a life changer you don’t even know!

As a kid, Y/N would be dragged to church every Sunday, told to represent her supposedly "religious" family. Her mother would force her into a dress, always reminding her to "sit like a lady" since there were always boys present, and you just never know. They would go and learn about the god above, be thankful that they were brought here, cheer his name. 

When she was fourteen, she went into church on a Monday, this time for a funeral. She automatically noticed the change in tone, obviously, but since then she looked at churches a bit different. They weren't praised as much, they held an entire different meaning, one that wasn’t very happy at all. No, she learned that churches could be just as devastating as celebratory. 

Like now, where people gathered in front of the steps, mingling and wearing expensive clothing. There was a truck on the lawn, workers were shoving different table sets across the road, where a large tent was set up. There was a group of people laughing a couple feet away, all looking down at a little girl with a white dress on. A stretch limousine rolled around and a few women climbed out with grace, all wearing the same pale color. 

Truly devastating. 

Y/N tugged at her own dress, hoping that the simple color would at least help her blend in with the crowd. Maria had told her it would be just fine, and it’s not like a new fancy dress was in her budget. 

Besides, it’s not like anyone here cares about her appearance. They’re not here for her. In fact, she hadn’t found one familiar face yet, which should be a good thing, but Y/N couldn’t help but wonder how many of these guests both parties even knew. 

“Would you ever get married?” 

He scoffed, “Marriage isn’t very meaningful is it, why should I have to document my love for you? As long as we both know it right?”

“Okay...I guess you’re right, but I wouldn’t mind seeing you in a nice tux.” She wiggled her eyebrows, but it didn’t bother him. 

“Is that all you’d want a wedding for? Because I will gladly put on a fancy tux if it meant you’d be down to-”

“Shut up! No, that’s not all. I’d like one, I’d think it’d be nice. It wouldn’t even have to be a big one.” She could see them by the beach, perhaps even getting married at the courthouse and use their money to blow on a big dinner after. She wouldn’t even mind a service in their apartment, it’s roomy. 

“Well, not like I have anyone for a big wedding anyways…”

She sat down next to him and stroked her fingers through his hair. “We’d invite our friends. I could invite my mom, you know she loves you. We don’t need a bunch of people to have a wedding.”

“Good, because I don’t want a giant guest list where there are different number tables and- a full service and a grand ceremony. I just...I just want you.”

She wonders how much of this is total bullshit. 

From where she’s standing, Y/N doesn’t think anyone would approach her. The lake is quite breathtaking, but the crowd is full of anxiousness and people are patiently waiting for the ceremony to start by the front of the church. 

Some people pass her by, and she picks up on certain terms, like how “beautiful the church is” or “she picked out the perfect dress, Philip was crying it was so pretty” and her favorite “just wait till you see this guy, they are just perfect for each other.”

Perfect. 

“I told you I can’t dance.”

“And I was a fool to not believe you. My feet are killing me,” He smirked and then laughed as she hit his shoulder. 

“Fuck off! Why are we doing this again?” She looked up at the sky that cracked before her, grey clouds mushing together.

“Because dancing in the rain is on my bucket list,” He twirled her around, pulling her close when she fumbled out of the turn. 

“Okay, what does that have to do with me? You’re telling me all your years before we met you couldn’t have gone outside and danced?” She grimaced as she felt drops of water against her skin. 

“Maybe I was waiting for the perfect person to do it with?” A hand wrapped around her waist and she chuckled. 

“Perfect? I am far from perfect,” They met each other’s stare and she got butterflies just seeing that look in his eye. 

“Well, then this is perfect,” The rain started to beat against the cement below them. “You and me, here right now, together. It’s perfect.”

Lost in her own thoughts, she didn’t hear anybody approach until they called her name. Y/N turned her head a little too fast, scared that she would be caught, there would be a giant scene, and then she would lose her chance at-

At what exactly? She didn’t know either.

“That’s really you, isn’t it?”

Hercules always was so welcoming, she never felt out of place when she was around him. In fact, he actually had a small smile on now, dressed nicely in his, most likely own, tailored suit. 

“Hey, Herc,” Y/N gripped her own arm, unsure if it was appropriate to go in for a hug. “You look nice.”

“Thank you, I made it myself.” He chuckled and opened his arms, allowing her to view his form. He looked just the same as she had seen him almost two years ago. 

“It’s definitely you! Did that business of yours ever hit it off with the investors?” Maybe she was aiming for small talk in hope of a distraction, she wasn’t ready for the obvious to be out in the open just yet. 

“No, but I’m working with something better. Got a lot of new line ups, good people to work with…” Hercules  trailed off with a fond smile on his face. 

“I’m really happy for you, Herc. You deserve it!” 

He smiled, “What about you? What have you been up to?”

Y/N winced and tried not to fidget. “Still working for the same place, I actually got a promotion a couple months ago, so I’ve been busy with that...But everything else has been...things are going well.” 

Hercules nodded, and just like a wave, tension flooded the air around them. 

Y/N refused to look up and meet his eyes, to either see full curiosity, disappointment or any other mood that would just make her feel sick to her stomach, will have her asking the same question over and over to herself. However, the silence couldn’t stay too long. 

“Y/N, what...why are you here?” 

An older woman was yelling at a worker, wanting more champagne for the bride's suite. She was aggressive, and yet the guests around her weren’t baffled at her behavior in the slightest. Y/N hated entitlement, hated more when the rich forgot that other people aren’t as fortunate enough as them. 

Y/N also hated that Hercules was still staring at her while she was wondering if her own mother would be so stressed as to the point of lashing out at others. 

“How long have they been engaged?” She finds herself asking only to quiet her thoughts of if they were stuck in one place and never seemed to want more. 

“Eight months,” Hercules sighed, never being one to push and always being honest. “Eliza’s sweet, she has a good heart. She’s loyal-”

Ouch.

“And she makes him happy.”

“Do you think we were ever… not happy?” Her eyes finally met his, instantly going soft and trying to word his answer carefully, even though Y/N could see a straight answer on his face. 

“I think...you guys worked around each other well. I think you enjoyed each other’s company, and maybe you might have been in love once, but that’s in the past. Right now, over a hundred people are going to celebrate what’s best for him and Eliza…”

He’s not marrying you, he’s not with you. 

It was something unspoken, but Y/N knew that was what Hercules was trying to get at, letting her know that her presence was unwelcome and that this was for the best. 

Why was she here? Why did she think that today would be the day to confess her feelings that never drifted away? Why was she so selfish, and think that her happiness was more important than-

Someone approaches them rather quickly, and it makes her turn and brace for an attack. 

Instead, it’s just John. 

“What are you doing here? You’re not supposed to be here, you weren’t invited!” He was loud and he was causing a scene, something Y/N definitely did not want. He actually looked like he was about to jump her, but before he could move any closer Hercules puts his arm on John’s chest to block him. 

“Relax, John,” Hercules looked back at her with a pointed look. “Y/N was just leaving.”

There was a pause, and she almost believed that yes, she was leaving. This was her cue, no one wanted her here, she wasn’t supposed to be here. Who is she to ruin a wedding? How could she do something so terrible?

“You should move in,” He ran his hand over her back, listening to her slow breaths. 

“Yeah?” 

“Yeah. It’d be nice, having you here all the time?” He knew she was drifting off and probably wasn’t even registering what he was saying. He was proven wrong when she raised her head to look at him in the dark light. 

“I guess it wouldn’t hurt seeing you all day,” Y/N smirked as he nudged her with his leg. She kissed his chest and smiled down at him. “If I move in, there’s no turning back. Rent is too high for me to be switching back and forth.”

“I couldn’t think of anywhere else I'd want you to be.”

Y/N gave him a curt nod, walking backwards a bit before fully turning around. She walked all the way pass the church, passed the parking lot, all the way down to the end of the lake. She was out of sight. 

But there was no way she was leaving. There was no way she was going to give up her last chance. 

Even from where she stood, she could hear the beats of the traditional wedding music pick up, cheers from the crowd pick up as everyone hustled inside. 

Her feet moved before she could even make a decision. 

There was an elderly couple just walking into the room, and luckily the man held the door open for her. She thanked him and took the grand venue in. On each bench there was a bouquet of flowers, a white row leading up to the altar. It was packed, and Y/N could only imagine how many people she was about to shock. 

She sat in an empty aisle seat in the back, and finally realized that Eliza was just reaching the top of the stairs, kissing her fathers cheek before he gave her over to him. 

“Should I get a haircut?”

“No. I like it the way it is. You have nice hair, it’s soft and always so full. Why would you want to chop it off?” She caressed said hair. 

“Eh, it’s too long. I think it’s a hassle to work with when I’m getting ready for work. I don’t know…” He looked in the mirror with a pained face. She came up behind him and wrapped her arms around his chest, leaning her cheek on his back. 

“Well, personally, I like it. But it is your hair. You know I’d love you either way.”

“Are you just being biased?” 

“Mmh, well, I can’t say I don’t like having something to pull on.” She tugged and he whimpered before turning and kissing her, a full grin on his face. 

He looked just like Y/N imagined him. In fact he hasn’t changed, except maybe the circles under his eyes got a bit darker. His hair was neatly wrapped in a ponytail behind his head, sharp tux on, a smile on his face.

Except none of that was for Y/N, it was for another woman. 

Swallowing back the lump in her throat she cleared her throat, tapping her foot nervously as the officiant started speaking. 

“We are gathered here today to celebrate the love of Alexander and Elizabeth.”

“Stop being such a poor sport.”

“You so cheated! You know what, it’s fine. Because I know what really happened.”

“I’ll tell you what happened: Mr. Hamilton sucks at Mario Kart!”

“You take that back!”

“Through their time together, they have realized that their goals and dreams are more meaningful through a combined effort and mutual support provided in love.”

“I’m proud of you.”

“It’s not a big deal.”

“You got promoted, Alex! You’ve come so far since we met. You work so hard, you stay late at work, you stress yourself out far too much for my liking. But you got exactly where you wanted to be! And from here you can only go up! I’m proud of you!”

He smiled, kissing her knuckles and thanking her. 

“As we create this marriage, we create a new bond and a new sense of family.”

“I hope our kids have your eyes.”

“If we’re thinking about children, I have no problem shoving them right back if they don’t look exactly like you.”

“Alex, what the fuck is wrong with you?”

“I’m just saying. Your eyes, your nose, I even want them to be as witty as you.”

“I hope they don’t have your sense of style.”

“Hey!”

“Now, before we begin the vows, if anyone can show just cause why this couple cannot lawfully be joined together in matrimony-”

“You’re acting crazy!”

“No, I’m acting reasonable! You can’t seriously think that you were just going to let this go?”

“Where are we going, Y/N? We’re stuck in this one spot, and I can’t do it anymore!”

“Then don’t!”

“Let them speak now, or forever hold their peace.”

“I think I’m falling in love with you…” She wiped the tears from her eyes as he held her closely to his chest. “And I’m terrified.”

Y/N stands without letting herself have any more doubts. 

Almost immediately, attention is drawn. There are gasps in the crowd, one woman even let out a horrid yell. The man sitting a couple feet away even scoffs, like Y/N’s idea was ridiculous. It’s enough commotion that causes the bride and groom to look her way. 

Warmth filled her as his brown eyes connected with hers. 

It went in flashes, Alexander’s emotions. First he was a bit confused, almost as to why their loved ones were making such noise. Then, it was anger, finally realizing that it was because someone was objecting to his wedding. And as their eyes connected, it was like he was sad. 

Maybe it was because he hasn’t seen her since she walked out. Maybe it was because she was ruining his special day. Maybe it was because he knew she lost her chance years ago, and that even he knew it was too late. 

Maybe it was because he knew the outcome of this. 

Y/N took a shuddering breath, before saying the three words that could easily crush the hearts of everyone in this room. But she ignored the appalled crowd, she ignored the angry face of John right next to Alex, she didn’t even want to see how broken Eliza must look right now. 

Instead, she focused on the very small quirk of Alexander’s lips, the small chance of hope that was promised. 

[another-sonic-blog]

By Accident Ch.3

Shadamy

6k

Based on the presumption that Amy found Shadow in stasis instead of Eggman in SA2

A/N: I know its being a long time ... 54 years may be? I can even find the the previous chapters in tumblr ...Anyways I hope you still enjoy!  I dedicate this chapter to @itsdaqueensposts because she is amazing! <3 She will be making a comic based on this fanfic, so I hope you guys will look forwards to it! 

Previous: https://another-sonic-blog.tumblr.com/post/619412011978309632/by-accident-ch2

.....

It was easy for Shadow to teleport to the ARK. Walking through the corridors of the space colony was harder than Shadow thought it would be. He remembers running around with Maria, playing hide and seek, and from time to time they would get scolded from the other scientists. The place used to be so lively and full of life, now it has been reduced to a memory in Shadow's mind.

It was strange for him, that things hadn't changed in the time he was gone. How long was it? 20? 30? 50 years?

And still, everything looked the same.  A space colony had its perks because it wasn't affected by the laws of nature. No dust, no erosion, no human intervention that could destroy the architecture over time. The laboratories, the unused white papers, and pens, the lab coats that were never used again ... Everything was left the same from the day G.U.N. came.

Maybe it wasn't a bad idea to walk around. If Eggman shows up, he could just run to their meeting point.

There was a particular place where he wanted to go since he woke up from stasis.

Maria and his favorite place.

When he entered the room, he couldn't help but notice the blue planet in front of him. Stars surrounding it and even a blue aura that made the planet look like paradise. It was so beautiful that it pained Shadow ... just a little.

He turned around to look at the room. Made up from mostly metal, there were no beakers, no test tubes nor burettes. This room existed for the solemn reason to appreciate the view in front of them. To relax and it was the only room Maria and Shadow could play around freely.

Shadow knew that it was never going to happen but a part of him still had hoped... That Maria would come running through those doors, giggling and smiling like she always does.

Did.

How could this happen? How did he let this happen? For him, just a couple of days had passed since he last saw Maria and now ... She was dead.

And it was all G.U.N.'s fault.

And his fault as well.

He was supposed to be the ultimate life form, he was supposed to be her cure so they could go live together happily on Earth.

"Shadow"

The moment he heard her call his name, the black hedgehog felt his heart stop for a second. He stopped breathing, his body began to shake and for a moment he really thought he was going to die. He let in and out heavy breaths as he tried to get lungs to his air. He felt like throwing up, his chest felt like it had been pierced by a Chaos Spear and his body was drowning in sweat.

It was as if she was there as if Maria had just whispered his name. He just couldn't stop the memory. It played over and over again in his head. Her words, her face ... Her eyes that hoped that someway, somehow they could be saved.

That G.U.N. agent who shot her. The sound, his screaming, the way he saw the lightscape her eyes as she fell dead to the ground.

That was her last memory of her.

Death.

He wanted to forget. Shadow didn't want to remember, it was emotionally and physically painful. He couldn't breathe, he couldn't move and most of it all, he couldn't stop the memory.

He had never felt like this, and for a moment he was scared, terrified that he will keep feeling like this for all of eternity.

Maybe this was his punishment.

"Shadow do it for me ..."

Maria.

"For all of those people on that planet,"

Maria.

"Sayonara, Shadow the Hedgehog."

"MARIA!"

"I know you are not bad, I trust you Shadow."

Amy.

Shadow opened his eyes, as the voice of the pink hedgehog resonated on his mind.

Amy.

"He can hurt you, what if you need me to protect you?"

Amy.

"You will come back, right?"

"I promise."

The words came out like a soft whisper and as of art of magic, Shadow was finally able to breathe again. His heartbeat was stabilizing again and the sweating had stopped. He felt chills run down his spine and he was a relief to feel that his body was going back to normal. There was still a mild pain on his chest but he knew he just needed to stand still for a bit for the pain to go away.

He looked at the green Chaos Emerald on his hand, the gem that had taken him to this place. Now, he needed it to go back to her.

He promised her he was going to come back after all.

But before that, there was another promise he needed to fulfill.

"Finish this fast ... So you can go back to her."

.

.

.

"We interrupt this broadcast for an important news flash. There has been a break-in at the federal reserve bank today. Mysteriously, the only thing that was stolen was the Chaos Emerald. According to eyewitnesses at the scene, the suspect was identified as the world-renowned hero, Sonic the Hedgehog. The suspect was seen fleeing the scene destroying the reserve's guard robots in his path. Stay tuned for more details."

There was only one thing that ran through Amy's mind as she finished watching the news.

Shadow.

What had happened that day she left him at the Federal Reserve Bank? Did Shadow steal the Chaos Emerald?

"Of course he did Amy, you just saw the news."

Was he that desperate to get it?

But there was another thing Amy needed to focus her attention on.

Sonic.

The military must be going after Sonic, thinking that he was the one who stole the Chaos Emerald. Did they already capture him? Where was he?

Amy didn't hesitate for a moment. Although she had already asked too many favors out of Rouge, she just needed to know if Sonic was alright.

She was on the edge of her seat on the couch. She extended her hand to reach her cellphone that was placed on top of the small table.

The pink hedgehog was quick to turn on the cellphone and look for Rouge's contact phone number.

And she called.

There was a beep sound coming from the phone, the call entering but no one was picking up. The pink hedgehog felt a little bit bad at the moment because after all Rouge was a government agent and she was busy most of the time. Nonetheless, this was an emergency and Amy needed to eat her embarrassment to find information about her lover.

"Hello?"

Amy sighed in relief as she recognized the bat's voice. She didn't want to take much of her time so she jumped quickly to ask questions.

"Hey, Rouge how are you? Are you busy?"

"Well, just a bit I am about to teleport myself to an abandoned space colony but besides that I am good. What's up?"

The signal wasn't the best and this only happened when Rouge was in a faraway country. She never had luck with cellphones, such a bad signal for a government spy.

"I am sorry to bother you while you are at work, but I was wondering if you knew about ..." Amy made a pause. She didn't want to give away that she knew Shadow nor that he was the one that stole the Chaos Emerald. Because even when Amy trusted Rouge, she still knew that the bat took her job seriously and wouldn't hesitate to ask questions. "About Sonic stealing a Chaos Emerald and the military going after them."

"Of course, and I am guessing you want to ask where he is being held, prisoner ... Correct?"

"Yes."

Amy heard the bat sigh heavily, the pink hedgehog cursed mentally mostly because she was ashamed of herself. She knew it was too much to ask for, and knowing Rouge she won't give up that information to her so easily.

"Amy is dangerous ... I don't want you to go," Rouge made a pause. "But knowing how stupid G.U.N. is and that they will make this information public ... I can say that Sonic is currently in Prison Island."

"That's where I found Shadow."

"Oh? I thought that place had been shut down years ago." Amy responded. To Amy's knowledge, Rouge didn't know that Amy had broken into the base and met Shadow the Hedgehog.

"It was but a few days ago ... Something happened at the base, something got 're-activated' ... That made G.U.N. reopen the base and because it's on an island, that's the safest place to put Sonic."

A few things crossed Amy's mind. The first thing was that she needed to ask Tails for a ride to Prison Island and knowing her two-tailed friend, Tails must be making preparations to go there himself.

"Thank you for the information Rouge, I am sorry. I'll try not to bother you anymore," The pink one let out a soft smile and her heart felt relieved as she heard the white bat giggle back at her.

"Don't worry, you have helped me a lot too. I wouldn't be here if it wasn't because of you." Rouge said. "I know it's futile to ask you to stay home so, please ... Be careful."

"I'll try my best ... You too be careful," Amy was thankful for Rouge. Because although she acted like a big sister to her, Rouge always knew to respect her independence. "I hope to see you soon, goodbye."

"Me too hun, goodbye."

Beep.

The call ended and there was an emptiness in Amy that she couldn't describe. It was quiet, too quiet and although she was used to it, it wasn't something she enjoyed all the time. Especially after Shadow stayed with her a couple of days.

She didn't want to jump to any conclusions, not when she wasn't heard Shadow's version of the story yet.

She trusted Shadow.

And she was going to keep doing so until her questions were answered.

And she was gonna look for them.

.

.

.

Shadow was in the ARK's Central Control Room. Memories again overtaking his mind. Here he was, in front of all of its glory. Although Shadow wasn't let inside of the room must of the time, the scientists instructed him well about the functions of the machine.

The Eclipse Gannon.

One of Gerald's greatest creations. The machine capable of destroying a whole planet.

And the one who will help him full-feel his promise and set him free.

Shadow heard machine steps coming towards, he recognized them perfectly well.

"I have been waiting for you, doctor," Shadow said as he finally faced Dr. Eggman who came down from his machine. "Now I will show the glorious achievement of what the world's leading scientist, Professor Gerald has created."

Rouge was surprised that they still didn't know about her presence. Not like it matters too much, after all, she was there to get more information about Eggman's doing. What caught her interest the most, however, was the black hedgehog who spoke so eloquently about the ARK.

"To reactivate the machine we need the seven Chaos Emeralds. Once you have that, then you have the ultimate power of destruction to use as you please. And then the world could be yours!"

Rouge was very perceptive of things. Especially words. The black hedgehog spoke of a possibility. "Could be yours." Instead of "Will be yours."

Either this hedgehog knew more information than the things he is telling Eggman or he just didn't trust his fully yet. Although his way of speaking didn't make him seem like the insecure type. The world could be Eggman's ... But was there more? A heavy price to pay for it? A double-edged sword?"

"Hahaha! Sounds like a plan. I like the way you think Shadow!"

Shadow, so that's his name.

"I will get the Chaos Emeralds, use the machine to dominate the world, and build a legacy of my own!"

Well, it was time to get back to work, after all that Master Emerald is not going to build itself back.

"Do you really think it would be that easy?" Rouge came down from the ceiling, making her introduction. She loved it when she caught people red-handed. It seemed like not even 'Shadow' was aware of her presence early on.

"I've got a great idea. How about we make a deal?"

.

.

.

11:13

Prison Island Coastline

They didn't lose any time as the next day Rouge had already informed them of a location of a Chaos Emerald.

Last night was the first night that Shadow didn't see Amy. He had spent the night running around, looking at the city, the natural views, and the people living on the planet. The black hedgehog had to admit that he knew the reason why Maria was so interested in Earth. After all, there were many things to do, so many things to see and explore. The planet was beautiful but the individuals living on it were the thing that made it a horrible place to live. The humans would kill each other, steal, humiliate each other for material things.

Everyone on this planet was rotten, and it should be destroyed just like Maria wanted.

Amy.

He shook his head as he tried to forget the pink hedgehog. Shadow found himself struggling to keep his promise to Maria whenever he remembered Amy. Now it wasn't the moment to think about her, not when he was about to still another Chaos Emerald.

On the back of his mind, Shadow knew that it was necessary to eventually let go of any attachments. Because there was still nothing set on stone whether Amy would want to come with him to the ARK when the doctor decides to destroy the Earth.

They were in front of Prison Island. Ready to start their mission, it was fairly simple for Shadow. Eggman was going to distract the military, Rouge was going to get the Chaos Emeralds and he was going to place dynamite inside the base to make the Island explode.

"Ok, everyone ready? Shadow, Rouge, on with the show!"

There was no time to hesitate now. For the moment, Shadow had to live on with the idea that Amy indeed will come with him to the ARK.

She had to ... Right? What kind of idiot wouldn't want to save their lives.

.

.

.

Amy knew it was wrong to have left Tails so quickly even after he gave her a ride to Prison Island. Nonetheless, her heart was already thriving to look out for her blue love and the answers to the questions she was looking for.

In the port of her Prison Island, she recognized three individuals from afar. Eggman, Rouge, and Shadow.

Wait, Shadow? Just what in Chaos was he doing here? And what was he doing with Rouge and Eggman?

Rouge? She could understand. As far as Amy knew, Rouge had to sometimes side with the bad guys to provide information to G.U.N. But Shadow? Was he in danger?

"Maybe Eggman is forcing him to steal the Chaos Emeralds! That has to be it!"

Amy thought of many things but at the moment her only thought was to take Shadow to a safer place or at least to create a distraction meanwhile Shadow could escape. She had to think of something and quick.

Something that does not expose Rouge's position but that gives Shadow enough time to escape.

"Oh, Sonic! I thought I would never see you again! I am so glad you made it!

The pink hedgehog hugged Shadow from the back, she knew that her fangirl acting skills would come in handy one day.

Shadow was more than astonished, still not believing his eyes. Just a few moments ago, he was thinking about her and now here she was, Amy Rose was hugging him.

"Hey, Shadow I found you!"

It was another day on the Space Colony ARK. Experimentations on Shadow were done for the day and Maria was feeling good without any health complications. It was a pretty good day and because of that Shadow and Maria decided to play hide and seek.

"You are really good at this Maria," Shadow said as he came out of the darkness of the metal room. They were in their favorite section in the entire ARK. The room that allowed them to see the entirety of the planet Earth.

"Of course I am! I am the best-"

Suddenly the blond girl began to cough desperately. She placed a hand to her mouth and the other to her chest as it began to pain her uncontrollably.

The black hedgehog ran towards her as he got worried about her wellbeing.

"Are you alright? Should I call for help-"

"No, I am fine-"

Shadow knew she was lying and it pained him more to know that she dared to do so. She began coughing more and more but Shadow knew it was better to just stand and watch. If he were to call the doctors on the ARK, Maria would get angry with him.

Her coughs began to slow down and finally, Maria felt her heartbeat go back to normal. The coughs ended and with a small smile, Maria focused her attention to Shadow again.

"I am sorry, I am sure you want a friend who doesn't have health complications every 15 minutes."

"Of course not! You are the only friend that I need."

Maria smiled at him and softly caressed the top of his head. The creation of Shadow had to be the greatest blessing she has had. Her grandfather saw him as a cure but she saw him as her only friend and she only wished the best for him.

"Whether you want it or not, eventually you will have friends, and when you do" Maria bent down to look at Shadow at his vermillion eyes. "You must take care of them and protect them just like you do with me."

"Leave it to me! I'll take care of her. You two, go!"

Eggman's voice made Shadow escape from his trance. And the next thing he knew was that Amy was already running away, with Eggman going behind her.

Rouge was about to interfere when all of a sudden Shadow was already running towards the pink hedgehog.

She watched them from afar. Amy had no escape but Shadow had put himself in between Amy and Eggman. Rouge was baffled not only did the dark hedgehog ran as his life depended on it but he was in a fighting stance. Rouge didn't know the reason behind Shadow joining Eggman, but something was definite. Shadow was ready to throw everything away for the pink hedgehog.

Shadow had decided if Eggman took another step closer to Amy, he wouldn't hesitate to attack.

Even Eggman felt a chill ran down his spine as he felt intimidated by vermillion eyes.

"Shadow! What are you doing? Move out of the way so I can-"

"No!" Shadow interrupted Eggman. There had to be a way in which he could fool Eggman and not get Amy dragged into this. "Don't waste time, if you want Rouge and me to enter the facility we need you to take down the guards first. Follow the plan, I'll take care of her while you take care of the military."

It was weird for Shadow to take charge but in times like this Eggman really didn't think too much about it.

"Fine, but hurry up! It won't take long for me to get rid of the guards!" Eggman turned to face Rouge as he noticed that she had barely moved from her previous position. "You batgirl, let's get back to work!"

Rouge nodded and ran towards the entrance of the base, following Eggman. She didn't worry too much about the pink hedgehog at the moment. Besides knowing that she could take care of herself, it seemed like the black hedgehog could take care of Amy if the situation required it.

One of Rouge's talents was to be very perceptive and to her, there was no doubt.

Shadow and Amy knew each other, some way or another.

Either that or Shadow fell in love at first sight with Amy, which Rouge doubted wholeheartedly but it would be a lie if she didn't say that the statement could lead to an interesting story.

Shadow turned to face Amy, he didn't think too much about his current situation and began to ask questions himself.

"What do you think you are doing?" he asked.

"I should be asking you the same thing!"

There were a few seconds of silence between the black and pink hedgehog. Emerald and vermillion eyes stared at each with determination but the only difference between the two was the Shadow was the only one who had to hide something. He felt his stance grow weaker as Amy's eyes felt heavy on him. Even if the pink hedgehog was smaller than him, she had her way of intimating him.

"I know this seems strange, but I have my reasons." Shadow looked away as to try not to give too much information to the pink one. "You have to leave this island, it's dangerous."

"I can't! Sonic is inside!" Amy was almost on her tippy toes, trying to stand her ground against Shadow as much as she could. "And I am going to help him!"

"No, you got to leave now! Trust me!"

"How can I trust you when you won't tell me what is going on? Why are you here? Why are you with Eggman?"

Shadow knew that he was being extremely unfair to Amy. While she had been nothing but kind to him, Shadow was lying to her. And as if the universe wanted it, he was putting her in unnecessary danger.

"I'll go inside and look for Sonic, how does he look like?"

"He is blue and has green eyes and-"

"Got it."

Shadow turned around, as he faced the entrance of Prison Island. Eggman was already in and by the looks of it, Rouge was already inside doing her job. The black hedgehog looked at his right hand and saw the dynamite he was bond to place inside the base. Shadow turned around and took a moment to appreciate the pink hedgehog in front of him.

The breeze of the ocean moved her hair softly and the sunlight made her eyes shine brightly. Due to the heat, her cheeks were tinted pink and her lips were a rosy color. Strangely enough, this was the first time Shadow noticed these small details.

"I'll go for him and when I come back, I'll explain everything."

Shadow watched Amy tilt her head in curiosity but there was more than that. She looked extremely worried and that was eating her from the inside.

"I'll be back, I promise and I'll bring your friend with me."

Amy trusted Shadow but there was still something about him that made her feel anxious. He was definitely hiding something but what could she do? She couldn't force him to tell him the truth ... She had to wait for him to be comfortable to open up to her.

And then, there was Sonic.

"I don't know what is going on ... But please, protect Sonic and bring him safe to me."

The look on Amy's eyes was something that Shadow would never forget. Her eyes were filled with an emotion he couldn't quite describe. But only one thing was certain.

"She must really care about this blue friend of hers."

"I will," Shadow said. "Now please, get off this island."

After watching the soft nod Amy gave him, Shadow felt relieved. Yes, he can do this. He will fulfill this mission and deliver to Amy her friend as fast as possible. Shadow would do anything if that meant Amy can stop worrying about him and her blue friend.

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.

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It was easy to place the timer for the dynamite packs on the armory room. Only ten minutes, that should be enough for him to find that blue friend of Amy and get out of the base before the Island explodes.

Besides how hard could it be to find someone who is blue?

As he ran through the corridors of Prison Island, Shadow felt a sense of deja vu, this was the same place that Amy found him by accident some days ago. How many days has it been since? A week? two? More? A part of him felt numb, it felt like such a long time since things started to go this way. He was in a constant dream but at the same time he wasn't.

"I'll stop them as much as I can. There is a small airplane in the jungle, run towards the east and it will be there. If I am not there in within five minutes, leave."

The memory of him and Amy running from the robots flooded his mind. Strange enough, he never took the time to fully appreciate her words. Was the pink hedgehog sacrificing herself to give him a chance to live? Why would she do that? Why throw her life away for someone she didn't know? Why put so much trust ...

On a failure like him?

It was times like this when Shadow thought that destiny must be playing around with his fate, messing with his head. Because there was no doubt in Shadow's heart and mind before. It was true, if it wasn't because Amy had discovered him in stasis, he wouldn't doubt in destroying this miserable planet.

He was now looking up and down on each room of the base until finally, he reached an old door. Oxidated, almost unused. Shadow had to admit that all of this was strange. There were no guards, no robots nor military. He knew that Eggman had distracted most of them but this was such a big facility, it seemed strange to leave unattended a place that held the Chaos Emeralds.

Not only that but ... What was a friend of Amy doing in a place like this?

Shadow stopped thinking, there was no time for that now. He kicked open the oxidated door and walked inside the cold room. A few steps in and the first thing he noticed was the large room cell and metal bars that started from the ground to the top of the ceiling. A jail cell worthy of such a military facility.

And then, he saw him.

Blue and green.

"You! What are you doing here?"

How could he be so stupid? Amy's friend was the blue hedgehog he met two days ago on the streets of the city.

"It really seems like destiny is playing a joke on me," Shadow walked towards the cell, getting closer to the blue hedgehog. "You should be grateful, I am going to save you."

Sonic watched the black hedgehog approach him in silence until he finally made a stop in front of the metal bars. He then kicked two of them, making the bars fall to the ground and made an opening big enough for Sonic to come out. The blue bur watched in silence as Shadow entered the cell, he didn't trust him.

"Come out," Shadow said as he pointed towards the exit.

"No, I don't know what you are planning but I know it's not good."

"Look, I don't have time for this! Amy is-"

Shadow's attention was taken by the writings on the walls. It was everywhere, white writing plastered across the cell's walls. Numbers, charts, writings ... complete and utter madness. Shadow would have cared less if it wasn't because he recognized the hand-writing.

Gerald Robotnik's handwriting.

The man who created him used to be here, lived his lasts moments in this prison cell. Probably even tortured by the people who killed Maria.

Shadow couldn't help it ... He felt furious, his hands trembled in anger and his whole body emitted heat. The more he looked into the writings the more anger it gave him but there was another feeling inside as well.

He could imagine it, Gerald ... Writing away his pain, giving into madness little by little. His sleepless nights, the torture of having his research destroyed, and the life of his granddaughter taken away.

Shadow now knew what it was ... It was sadness.

How could he ever doubt? How can he go against his creator's orders? He just couldn't let Gerald's pain go without revenge.

And now the mere thought of not doing anything, of doubting at the beginning ... It made Shadow sick to his stomach.

He needed to do this. There was no stopping him now.

But first.

"How do you know Amy? Is she here!?"

Things had changed now for Sonic. He feared that the black hedgehog might be planning something but he had to put those thoughts aside as his priority at the moment was to find his pink lady.

"Get out of this cell right this moment or I'll take you out ... by force." Shadow was surprised that Sonic wasn't intimidated by him. Actually, he had a smirk across his face.

"I would like to see you try."

Shadow knew that the clock was ticking. But he would do anything to wipe off that stupid smirk.

.

.

.

Amy knew that Shadow had asked her to leave the island, but there was just something that wouldn't let her do so.

Suddenly, Amy felt something vibrating on her dress pocket. She knew what it was, it was her pink cellphone. The pink hedgehog didn't hesitate to answer as she saw Rouge's name appear on the screen of her cellphone.

"Hello?"

"Amy! Is Shadow with you still?" Rouge's voice sounded worried and accelerated.

"No, he went inside the base a few minutes ago," Amy responded.

"Dammit, he is not answering my radio calls. Amy, listen you have to get off this island right this minute."

"Rouge, what is happening? Shadow told me the same thing! I am confused, scared! I don't know what is going on anymore."

A few seconds passed where it seemed like an eternity for Amy. She heard the white bat sigh in defeat.

"Amy, listen ... Shadow is not who you think he is."

"What are you talking about?"

"He was giving the mission to put a timed dynamite pack inside the base ... and I am sure he has already done so," Rouge said. "We must have around five minutes before this island explodes."

There were so many questions going inside Amy's head. So many things she wanted to ask Shadow but she couldn't. What she needed at the moment was to act.

"Where are you? Are you alright?" asked Amy through her phone, more desperate than anything else.

"I am trapped in a room, I am trying to contact Shadow but he just won't answer me-"

"I am looking for you!" Amy said. "And I don't care what you say, I am going inside!"

"No, Amy wait-"

Beep.

Amy finished the call and as she was about to rush in, the entrance of another friend of hers interrupted her.

"Amy! Sorry, I am late I was having problems with the Tornado."

Tails Miles Prower entered at the perfect moment. Amy smiled at him as she made her way to the machine, ready to go on top of it.

"There's no time! We have five minutes to find Sonic and Rouge before this island explodes!"

"What?" Tails looked at Amy as she finally made her way to the seat behind him on his machine.

"Just trust me!"

There was no much Tails could do but to accept the words of the pink hedgehog. Not like he minds at all, Amy was a special friend and although he wouldn't say she was the most reliable, she was definitely trustworthy.

"Alright, let's go!"

And with that, the yellow fox and the pink hedgehog venture inside the main base of Prison Island.

.

.

.

"I would like to see you try."

Emerald eyes met vermillion ones, they stared at each other's eyes and for a moment time didn't exist. Shadow nor Sonic were planing on backing away, and if Sonic was being honest he was ready to fight the black hedgehog. However, doubt-filled the blue bur's mind. How did this guy know Amy?

"Shadow? Are you there?"

As to break the tension between the hedgehogs, Rouge's voice began to sound from Shadow's radio. Shadow didn't respond as he felt that he didn't have the luxury to put his guard down in front of the blue one.

"I am trapped inside the security room. Have you placed the dynamite already?"

Shoot.

"Dynamite?!" Sonic said surprised and this is when Shadow knew he needed to take action now.

"I don't have time for this!"

How much time was left? A minute? Dammit.

He dropped the radio and suddenly Shadow went towards Sonic and picked up on his shoulders. Carrying him like a potato bag.

"Hey put me down!" Sonic screamed at him, trying to break free.

But he didn't, Shadow began to run as fast as he could, he needed to get to Rouge. If she had done her job, she must have Chaos Emeralds with her. All he needed to do was to Chaos Control them out of the island. After that, Shadow just needed to find for Amy who must be out of the island by now and give her the blue hedgehog.

He was fast to find her as Shadow kicked the door open and found her sitting down on the cold metal floor. There was no time left. He ran towards her as he noticed that she carrying two Chaos Emeralds, just what he needed to take them out of here.

"Shadow, wait!"

Rouge tried to stop him but Shadow didn't give her time to explain herself. She couldn't do anything but watch the black hedgehog touch the Chaos Emerald she was holding.

"Chaos Control!"

And the bomb timer went off.

.

.

.

"Amy was inside the base! We need to look for her!"

Rouge was almost on her knees, begging the black hedgehog who had saved her to go back to the island. Shadow still didn't know what was happening, he could hear screaming from both endings. The blue hedgehog was screaming and Rouge was almost crying, something that Shadow was unknown to.

They were on top of a building and for the moment, Shadow felt like time didn't exist. Like the things Rouge said just didn't happen. He couldn't hear anything nor feel anything.

"I am going back! If you know anything from G.U.N let me know!" Sonic said as he was about to run away. "I'll come back and make you pay black hedgehog!"

.

.

.

Amy and Tails were fine. They had made it out of Prison Island before it completely exploded. After getting scolded by Sonic, the pink hedgehog went back home with her tail between her legs. By what Sonic had told her, Rouge and Shadow were completely fine. She had many questions going inside her head and no answer made sense. She only had to wait and see if Shadow could provide the answers to her questions.

She had finally entered her home after a long day and she was ready to go to sleep. The pink one opens up the wooden door of her small apartment and without thinking too much about it, she closed it behind her. It was dark and the only light that could be seen was the moonlight that came across her window.

And that's when she saw him. His black fur mixed with the darkness of the room, but his blood-red eyes shone through the darkness. Like the small tint of hope had vanished from his eyes, they were cold and with no emotion. But then he noticed her and for a moment he couldn't believe it.

And there he was again. The eyes that Amy had become so fond of. For a moment, they had lost everything but now, small sparkles were created as his eyes twinkle. They stared at each other for a few seconds. The pink hedgehog waited for an explanation, not as to why he was in her apartment but an explanation of why he was looking at her as if life itself depended on it.

"Shadow?" Amy's voice was soft, she moved closer to the black hedgehog who was still sitting down on her sofa. " Are you alright-"

"I thought I had lost you too," Shadow's voice broke a little. He still felt numb, like inside a dream that didn't want to end. "I don't know what to do anymore ... I am lost ... I am lost, I don't know what to do and I have no home to go to."

For the first time in her life ... Amy felt her heart being ripped apart. At the moment, Shadow was the depiction of vulnerability. As he was sitting on the sofa, he was inclined and his elbows placed on his knees served as support as he covered his face with his hands. The pink one didn't want to say anything, but she saw how he was shaking a little, how his hands covered mostly his face and his mouth trembled a little as he didn't want to cry in front of her.

"I don't want to do it ... I don't but ... They took everything away from me ... My family, my home ..." the black hedgehog knew that he wasn't making much sense at the moment. But right now he didn't care. Many things had happened today, seeing how Gerald was pushed into insanity and the thought that he had lost Amy was too much too handle. Two parts of him battle and he didn't know which one was going to win. "But if I do it ... I will be taking everything away from you too ... How ... How can I do that to you?"

"So tell me, Amy ... What should I do?"

Amy took a small gulp and sat down next to the black hedgehog on the sofa. If there was one thing Amy knew about him is that he wasn't a bad hedgehog. There was no malice in his heart, there was just a terrible wound and a scar that hasn't healed. She didn't know the reason behind it but it didn't matter. Nothing matters but the hedgehog next to her.

"I ... I can't tell you what you should do," Amy placed a hand on Shadow's shoulder and with this, the black hedgehog finally realized that this wasn't madness. It was Amy, she was here, next to him. As if he had another chance to do, whatever he had to do. "But I can assure you ... That whatever decision you take, I'll be here."

Shadow didn't say anything but only stared at her beautiful emerald eyes.

"Shadow I promise you that whatever you do, I'll support you," Amy said. Unintentionally, her body began to move close to him. "I could never replace the family and home you had ... But I can be your home, your family ... So, don't hesitate. Do whatever you think is right ... I'll be with you on whatever path you take."

Suddenly, he felt soft arms embrace him. She was filled with the hope, the approval and acceptance he needed. Her body was warm against his, and he holds her back. Not wanting to let go, not wanting for time to pass, he will give everything to just stay like this forever.

There was no more doubt in his heart, he knew what must be done. He needed to trust that whatever he chooses to do, she will be there. And trusting Amy was the only thing he could ever be sure of.

"Thank you," Shadow holds her closer and Amy doesn't mind the contact. How long has it been since he felt at home? How long has it been since he felt like he belongs? Shadow didn't know, the only thing he knew was that he didn't want to let go of the feeling. "Thank you ... for finding me."

They met by accident but fate was the one that brought them together.

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A/N: I hope you all didn't forget this story. It took me so long to finish and it's not even that long of a chapter. Anyways, next time we will see more of Team Sonic lol.

[ninakaina]

sorry to bother you with this if you have already addressed it, but I couldn’t find such a thing and didn’t want to assume your intentions. You said you dont demand that people stop shipping BurDa, you just want the ship to be seen more critically, which I believe (unless that has changed ofc) But I’m struggling to understand how this statement works with believing that it is inherently racist? Surely if that’s the case people should stop completely? Regardless of answer, thank you for Ur posts!

don’t worry about it! i’m sorry actually, i’m having trouble connecting concepts and putting thoughts together tonight, so this will probably be a little disjointed. 

it’s kind of a complex subject! my purpose in making those disclaimers is to make my posts as accessible as possible to my audience, whoever that might be. to be clear, i’m NOT saying my way of doing things is right or the only right way or that people have to “be nice” about their opinions, this is just how i choose to go about this conversation. but i do want to be nice when i can (eg. i don’t make problems on random people’s burakhovsky posts* or talk about specific users i disagree with unless they have spoken directly to or about me or they’re big well known racists like threi), and i want to make it as easy as possible for well-meaning people to start thinking and talking more critically about things they like. i think that there are some people who have been able to learn something useful from my posts who wouldn’t have if i had said “if you like burakhovsky/burda, stop it or block me”. i would personally rather encourage people to think and talk about it critically, and i know it sucks to see even valid condemnations of the things you like so i want to remind people i’m not attacking them. i obviously don’t like that it’s shipped at all, but... point number 2:

i don’t feel comfortable saying that it Should Not Be Liked as a rule / demand / universal statement. a lot of things are inherently racist. most things are inherently racist. again, please don’t take what i say in this post as my assertions of how anyone else should be acting because this is my very specific and uncertain personal choice. i wouldn’t argue with someone who said everyone should stop, and i don’t argue with my mutuals who enjoy it critically. i’m pretty good at making connections between concepts (normally) but making moral or authoritative judgements about them is something i’m a lot less confident about, believe it or not. like, the ask i just got about the stamatins: i can tell you some things i find interesting about them, i could do some analysis that might make someone think about them in a new way, i can tell you they’re racist, but when asked how i feel about them or if it’s ok to like them i’m at a loss. i thought for a long time about “why it’s ok” for me to like maria and i’m still not completely confident in my answers. “is this racist?” “is this a harmful trope?” are different questions than “are its elements so racist and harmful that it can never be liked or engaged with without being part of the harm?” that is a complicated question with a lot of variables, and i am very fallible, and i don’t feel educated or experienced enough to tell you not to like something, period. 

one of the reasons for this is i don’t know what’s going on in the heads of people who like it. i don’t know every single shipper’s heritage, experiences, conclusions, or reasoning. i never saw anything between them so i clearly don’t see what a lot of people see, and i don’t know how it’s handled when it is handled critically-- i don’t consume burakhovsky content when i can avoid it (i have it blacklisted on tumblr and don’t read fics) because it very easily can become upsetting for me due to my personal experiences. like tweets about me, i only find out what’s going on with burakhovsky content when friends or followers show it to me. and again, i don’t know how you think about it in your mind. my conclusion is that it is racist and harmful enough that i personally should not like or engage with it. when i ask people to think critically about it, i want them to come to their own conclusion on that matter for themselves, personally.

* where i draw the line and start getting assertive is when you create and publish content that is harmful. when you are creating content, even fan content, even analysis, it’s no longer a matter of “enjoying things”, it’s a matter of actions and decisions which can affect others. which is why i say racist tropes/themes in fanfiction and fanart and discussion should be addressed and why i really appreciate creators who make space for good faith criticism and acknowledge their fallibility. this is also where my footnote for the “not making a stink on other people’s posts” comes in-- as i’ve said before, if you see offensive content being made, you’re welcome to ask me to address it directly on your behalf. i appreciate all the people who have held me accountable throughout my life, even when sometimes it took me a while to come around.

i hope this made a little bit of sense! in conclusion it’s a matter of my intention in the posts i make, which is to start a conversation and offer a new perspective, a matter of establishing my respect for well-meaning people with lives and thoughts i don’t know,  and a matter of the complexity of ethical judgements and my own insecurities about whether my feelings are right or good or real.

[gra-sonas]

Hiiii! What are you thoughts about RNM finale! How do you feel about it? I'm glad Alex was happy and I kind of understand why Micha walked out in the middle of the song even though I know some people didn't like it... Anyways! Hope you have a great day! 😁

Hi nonnie!

Am I having a great day, running on roughly 2 hours of sleep and sheer force of will? Debatable. :P

I’ve been listening to Tyler’s song all day tho, that has definitely improved my mood significantly. I’ll never be over the beauty that is this Malex song. WE GOT A MALEX SONG, Y’ALL!!!! And Tyler’s voice... yeah, the absolute best thing ever. I’m at peace just listening to him. 🥰

WOULD YOU COME HOME is without a doubt the best thing of this episode, the best thing of the season tbh. With that being said, I wrote down some more things.

Putting this incoherent mess behind a cut tho (I’m LJ years old, it’s a cut, not a Read More :P), fingers cross Tumblr doesn’t botch the damn thing.

Hmmmm, I’ll admit that last night (I watched live at 3am, which probably was NOT the best idea, but then I’m an adult, what else am I supposed to do other than make TERRIBLE LIFE CHOICES...), I really hated it.

Nothing made sense, too many questions were left unanswered, Malex were robbed of saying “I love you” to each other first, they were also robbed of an opportunity to talk (dear god, when will they finally TALK, it’s literally all I want), Michael was made to leave IN THE MIDDLE OF THE LOVE LETTER ALEX WAS SINGING TO HIM IN PUBLIC (omfg, I’m still so fucking PISSED about that, I’m FUMING) by the writers just to keep the ~drama going, Malex were robbed of a first public kiss, in one moment at the bar it looks like Michael took the handkerchief off, but there’s no way of telling whether they simply forgot to put it on him, or if it was deliberate and he actually took it off and we were robbed of that very significant moment.

Also ngl, Jesse’s death? Underwhelming. I mean, I’m glad he’s finally gone, but his whole storyline this season was underwhelming and so was his death. Oh well, underwhelming is my rating of S2 overall, guess it makes sense for this super villain to go out with a meh instead of a bang.

Blah, I'm still not super happy about the finale, and I especially wanted Michael to hear the WHOLE song, mainly the final two lines

You were the best of me You are the best of me

but since we can’t have nice things it’s not surprising that I’m not a huge fan. At least it wasn’t as devastating as 1x13, or as gross and triggering in 2x06, small mercies, I guess :P

Ngl, the Forlex kiss didn’t spark joy for me personally. I’m a mono shipper, and just like I hated seeing Michael kiss someone else, I hated seeing Alex do the same. But I understand why he did it. Michael left halfway through the song, and Alex was so relieved and proud of himself that he sang it, and Forrest was right there (wearing his Deep Sky ring 👀).

And hey, Alex asked and Forrest gave enthusiastic consent, I appreciate that very much!

I also really liked that Alex and Michael got to destroy the damn shed. I absolutely ADORE that Gregory was there when Alex sang,  alive and looking like the proudest big brother ever (like you don’t even know HOW MUCH I love him!!! ). Tanner’s such an amazing addition to the cast and I hope we’ll get to see him more often next season!

I’m glad that neither Alex or Michael were burdened with Jesse’s death, I hate that Gregory is carrying that burden now, but he seems to be better equipped for it, and I think he’ll be okay living with it.

Also a glimmer of hope for my baby Flint and a possible redemption arc? I like it (mainly bc I adore Kiowa, I just want him back).

The Echo breakup was long overdue, IDK, I haven’t cared that much about them as a couple for a long time, they’ve been lying to each other throughout most of the season, insofar it makes perfect sense that they go their separate ways now.

Rrrrosaaaaaa!!! My girl, I’m so damn PROUD of her!!!! She’s doing absolutely amazing, and I hope they’ll bring Iris back for her in S3 as a real friend. She deserves to spend time with people other than the “alien circle” at large.

M/M breakup... let’s just say I’m glad that particular nightmare is finally OVER. Time for Michael to work on himself. He didn’t get much opportunity to do that all season.

I’m a bit worried that due to the larger time jump between S2 and 3 we’ll either not get to see much of his development, or - even worse - he hasn’t worked on himself when we meet him again. That’s why I really rather hate S2 for him as a character. Oh well, that’s something to worry about in a year, I guess.

KYLE. I was happy about the blink-and-you’ll-miss-it Kylex moment, but overall S2′s done him dirty. Constantly sidelined, stuck in a relationship I still don’t care about even a little bit. And now Liz even played “god” and saved Steph (which in itself is a good thing, but Liz has been doing this all season, and no one’s stopped her, and I find that worrisome.) I guess with Steph being saved she’s also going to be in S3? Meh, I couldn’t care less, but also something to worry about next year.

Isobel didn’t get to do all that much this episode, but I love her, she’s had an amazing journey this season, and I feel she’s in a really good place right now. GOOD FOR HER!

SANDERS! Not in this episode, but damn, I love him, and I’m SO glad that MICHAEL’S DAD HAS BEEN INTRODUCED TO US THIS SEASON!

Jenna & Charlie AAAAAAHHHHHHHH, I’m so happy for them! And I’m excited to hopefully see both of them again next season! They are amazing, and as a duo a force to be reckoned with! Excited for Riley’s show Hightown to be renewed, still hope she’ll find time to travel to Santa Fe to be in several episodes of RNM.

Max... Ngl, I’m not a fan of the character. Never have been. And while Max 2.0 was nicer than Max 1.0, I never really warmed up to him. Let’s see how things with “Mr. Jones” and Max will go next season.

Maria... Let’s see how things with her go next season. Maybe she’ll finally be allowed to have a storyline that doesn’t revolve around other people.

Circling back to Alex. I love him, I love him the most. He’s on par with my other favorite character of all time (Derek Hale, in case that wasn’t clear). He’s so important to me, and Tyler did the most exquisite job playing him. S2′s been a difficult season for him and I hated that for him.

The writers held him back at almost every turn, he wasn’t allowed to move on, instead Michael got to “dump” Alex every second episode. Man, it got old real fast. But Alex’s resilience finally hammered it home to Michael, that Alex is not leaving again. He’s right there, and he’ll even show up when Michael calls him. New experience for him, I’m sure.

IDK, this whole season was such a mess, so many things that weren’t resolved in the end, the lack of a main plot kept bothering me, and I hated that some of my favorite S1 friendships were completely sidelined.

I hate that an entire season was wasted on Malex being apart, especially wasted for Michael who had a lot of shit on his plate I hoped he’d get a chance at working through (at least in part) in S2, but that didn’t happen. He had some lightbulb moments, but overall he’s still pretty much in the same spot he was at the beginning of the season.

And while I agree that he’s not ready to be with Alex atm, I hate that he did not communicate that to Alex properly, and instead left halfway through Alex’s song.

IDK, I just feel like pretty much every fanfic writer in our fandom would’ve done a better job at writing them this season, they would’ve been allowed to move forward separately, but still towards a common goal.

I know, they are endgame, there’s no doubt about that, but I’m TIRED of them not talking. And especially after Alex’s performance.

Either way, I don’t think any of this makes much sense, coherent thoughts, I don’t have them atm. I’ll need more time to think things through, and maybe my overall negative opinion of this season won’t be quite so negative anymore. Who knows.

I’ve always wondered whether I’d feel like finally watching S2 once I know how it ends, and right now I can answer that question with a firm NO. Canon exhausts me. I’m looking forward to fandom getting time to take a deep breath and process this season. 

I’m excited that we get to take care of the characters for the next year. It’s time for some good development, for tons of fics where Malex actually talk to each other, where Gregory is an awesome brother, Sanders adopts Michael and a million other things.

If there’s one thing I’m grateful for is, that the finale didn’t ruin Malex entirely. I’d been really worried about that.

THEY ARE OURS AGAIN, FOLKS! \0/

[breanime]

Soooo... for some reason, this ask from @georgiagrl1990​ shows up in my askbox when I’m on MOBILE, but not on my askbox on desktop.... which means that I have one last drabble to do! Her request was: Person A comforting Person B, who is afraid of storms, during a massive thunderstorm with Nick Amaro

As soon as Nick read the forecast for the week, he knew he’d be at your place on Friday—the day of the storm. Ever since Nick had known you, you’d hated storms. They terrified you, leaving you almost in tears, and Nick would not let you go through that alone. Besides, that’s what boyfriends were for.

He was happy to be there for you.

You felt terrible. The storm was only hours away, and your anxiety was building with the passing of every minute. Worse still, Nick texted you saying he was on his way. You sighed, clutching your phone to your chest as you sat on the couch. You felt like such a wimp, making Nick trade shifts so he could babysit you because you were too chickenshit to handle a thunderstorm. You didn’t deserve him…and you were starting to wonder if he was going to realize that and leave you. That would kill you. Nick was everything you’d ever wanted in a partner, and more. He was so understanding, and caring, and sweet. You loved him. You were in love with him, and you hoped he was half as happy with you as you were with him.

You looked up when you heard a knock on the door. Opening it, you smiled when you saw Nick. He was holding take-out from your favorite place and smiling warmly.

“Hey,” he hugged you, pressing a quick kiss to your lips as he walked through the door, “I got us the usual ridiculous amount of food.”

“Thanks,” you watched him put the bags on the kitchen table, “How’s it looking out there?” You asked nervously.

Nick shrugged. “Dark skies, cloudy,” he reported, “Looks like the storm could start any minute.” He smiled, that smile that made you feel all warm and light inside and want to giggle like a schoolgirl. That Nick Amaro smile. “I think we should start cuddling now, just to be safe.”

You laughed. You loved that about Nick—the way he was able to take your fears and anxieties and make them seem so normal and… not inconvenient to him. “Good idea, Detective.” Nick came over to you then, kissing you softly. You sighed into his lips, glad to be in his arms. He maneuvered you down onto the couch, and you crawled into his lap, resting your head on the crook of his neck. “Thank you.”

“For what?” He asked, stretching his legs out. One of his warm hands slid underneath your shirt, stroking your back.

“For this,” you answered, looking up at him, “Taking off work to come be with me, I… I really appreciate it.”

“Don’t mention it, querida,” he said back, kissing your forehead, “I’m happy to do it.”

“Why?” You blurted out; you couldn’t help but ask.

Nick frowned down at you, his brown eyes taking in your huddled form curiously. “Why what?”

You opened your mouth to respond but shut it when a huge clap of thunder sounded in the distance. You tensed up, and Nick squeezed you, reminding you that he was there for you. The rain came down then, hitting your window as it got whipped around by the wind. You closed your eyes, teeth clenched, and tried to remain calm.

“Baby, why what?” Nick asked.

You looked up at him. “Huh?”

“You asked ‘why’? Why what?” He reminded you.

“Oh.” You blinked. “I meant… why are you happy to do this?” You swallowed. “You said you were happy to do this, to be here with me and stuff and… why?”

He tilted his head, eyebrows knitting together the way they did when he was looking over a case and came across something confusing. “Because,” he answered, “you’re my girlfriend.”

“Yeah…” Your fingers dug into his chest when a flash of lightning caught your attention, illuminating the room. He chuckled softly. “But… This isn’t… This isn’t fun or sexy—”

“I always think you’re sexy,” he grinned.

You rolled your eyes. “Okay… But still… I feel bad that I make you do this every time there’s a storm, it’s—”

“Hey,” Nick turned to you, his arms warm and sturdy around your shoulders, “You don’t make me do this; I want to do this. I like being able to be there for you when you need me, it makes me feel good, like I’m doing something to deserve having a woman like you in my life.”

“What?” Your eyes widened, and you pulled back from him. “Of course you deserve me… why… Do you ever think you don’t?”

He shrugged, looking to the side. “Sometimes I do, if I’m being honest. You’re just…” He took a breath and tuned back to you, his brown eyes shining with affection. It was wonderfully overwhelming. “When I was married, I thought that all the bad days Maria and I had were normal, and all the times we couldn’t stand each other was just how things were, but… When I met you, I realized that wasn’t true. With you, even the hard times are worth it. And even when we’re fighting… I want to fight. I want to get through the rough patch with you, because you’re worth it.” He put his hand on your chin, gently moving your face up so that your eyes were staring into his. “I… I love you, Y/N.”

Your heart was pounding like crazy—partly because of the storm, but mostly because of Nick. He loved you. You smiled, feeling like the luckiest person in the world. “I love you too, Nick.” You leaned forward and kissed him, and man… you could kiss Nick for the rest of your life and be a happy woman.

Nick kissed you back, and you moaned into his mouth. You climbed onto his lap, wrapping your arms around his shoulders, and deepened the kiss. Nick held you close, tilting his head to get better access to your lips as his tongue slipped into your mouth. The rain was pounding against the windows now, and the thunder and lightning were constant, but you weren’t concerned. All that mattered was Nick.

“Say it again,” he said, his voice deep and husky.

“I love you,” you said, eyes closed as Nick’s hands roamed over your body. He was close, but you needed him closer. “Nick…”

“Yes, mi amor?” He said back.

You moaned, rolling your hips on top of him and pulling him even closer. You wanted to take this to the bedroom, but you couldn’t stop kissing him—even for a second—to tell him. Nick picked you up and laid you on the couch, draping his body on top of yours. You scratched at his back, feeling the tense muscles underneath your fingertips, and licked into his mouth eagerly. You closed your eyes and let yourself melt against him, glad to be in the arms of the man you loved.

Nick was kissing on your neck while he held you by the hips, and you sighed, eyes closed and hands in his hair. He chuckled into your skin, and you opened your eyes when you felt him pull back.

“Look outside, mi amor.”

You did; the sky wasn’t as dark as it had been before, and the rain was gone. You glanced at the clock on the wall and realized you’d been making out for almost an hour. “Oh, shit.” You turned to him and laughed. “Way to distract me, Amaro. Thanks.”

“Anytime,” he laughed back, sitting up. “So… Are you feeling better, or do we need to continue this in the back?”

You put your hand on your chin, pretending to think. “Hm… I’m still feeling a little scared…”

You couldn’t even finish your sentence before Nick was picking you up and carrying you to the room. You laughed, kissing his face as he took you to your bedroom, and you knew your boyfriend would always be there for you, just like you’d be there for him.

That’s what girlfriends were for.

*******************************************************************************************

Thanks for reading! And sorry again @georgiagrl1990​ for almost missing your ask. I don’t know why tumblr acts so different from mobile to desktop. 

Everything Taglist: @encounterthepast​ @jigsawlover10​ @gollyderek​  @charlylama​ @realduckvader​ @teacuplotus @whovianayesha  @lexxierave @loveintheroyalfamily  @fanfictionrecommendations-com​  @maxslime-blog @songforhema @lucielandss @themadhatter92  @christinawxxx @anabella-baby @blackcoffeeandgreenteaforme @luminex3 @ashkuuuu @luckysstrikes @carlaangel86 @floralpeaceofmind @dylanobrusso @iaintnofurry  @ymariejp @its-my-little-dumpster-fire @mrsjaxtellerfan @holamor @drinix @rhabakoli @stories-you-wont-hear @king4thesirens @leahnicole1219 @evanlys19  @binbons-is-theloml @aikeia @bitch-imma-head-out  @witchygagirl

Nick Amaro/Miguel Galindo Taglist: @glimmerglittergirl​ @cococruz-mayansmc​  

Nick Amaro Taglist: @mommakat32​

[angrycowboy]

A couple weeks ago, I decided that for my birthday, I was going to attempt to put together some of my favorite things this fandom has created. I say *some* because this is an incomplete list. There are so many wonderful and talented creators in this fandom that this list would go on forever otherwise. If I have I ever reblogged something of yours, flailed in the tags, reached out to via DM or sent you a message, talked on discord or even Twitter, know that I love and adore not only the things you’ve created, but you yourself as part of this fandom.

And now, without further ado…

FIC

memento by @nielrian

I was obsessed with the idea of coming up with the backstory to the photo we see Michael look at in 1x02. When was it taken? Does Alex have a copy? Did Alex bring his with him to the other side of the world? How often do you think Michael looked at his own copy? And Nicki took a little prompt of mine, and wrote an achingly gorgeous piece about one photograph, and it’s significance to Malex in less than 700 words.

a little something to make me sweeter by @partsofthesamecosmicbeing

Camluca + D.E.B.S. is like a recipe for the perfect fic. I freaking love the movie, and when I saw this fic pop up on tumblr one day? I couldn’t even contain my excitement (seriously, the tags on my reblog were just me flailing wildly because it felt like Ly had reached into my brain and written something I wanted to read before I even knew it myself). Casting Alex as Scud and including Malex in the mix just made me love this fic even more.

And the Sun Rose Red by @michaels-blackhat

A Miluca Kissing Kate Barlow AU? SIGN. ME. UP. I adore Christi, and I adore her writing. One day she was like, “miluca kissing kate barlow au?” and the only appropriate answer to that is HECK YES. Michael/Maria is also a dynamic that just works for this AU, given their canon relationship, and Michael’s penchant for fixing things and Maria’s desire to have someone just be there for her. *runs off to re-read fic*

something broken in this town by @irolltwenties

Okay so, Meagn is one of my favorite people in this fandom. We kinda ramble at each other, and one day this happened where she started talking about the parents. About the relationship Jesse, Jim, and Mimi had as kids, as teenagers, as young adults. How they got sucked into aliens and government conspiracies. How they became the people we see and hear about in S1. If you’ve ever had the privilege of talking with Meagn, you know how amazing her mind is, how she takes these characters and the mere scraps we’ve been given in canon with some of them, and creates entire lives for them, and it’s beautiful.

open up my eager eyes by @haloud

It took me a while to get into Mylex, but apparently it was just because I hadn’t read Hal’s series yet. I’m usually terrible about multi-shipping, but once I find a writer that nails the characters down, I could probably read anything they write. And Hal writes all three of them perfectly. (I mean, Hal is just a phenomenal writer in general, but I digress.)

META

Michael’s bisexuality by @chasingshhadows

There’s been a lot said in the fandom about Michael’s bisexuality and how it’s been portrayed. While the show was airing, I was having trouble finding people who felt the same way I did about how it was being shown - that it wasn’t problematic, but that it was good and accurate. Not to mention that it made me feel seen. I tried writing out what I was feeling but nothing sounded right - until Chasing wrote this piece. It was everything I’d been trying to find the words to express, and it remains one of my absolutely favorite pieces of her writing.

Semiotics of Roswell by @hannah-writes

Hannah did this amazing thing where she took the camera work of RNM and analyzed the shit out of it. And in some moments of doubt, where I was still worried about Malex because of the direction the show had been taking, Hannah’s semiotics (or better known as “Why Malex is Endgame”) pointed out how the camerawork for Malex and Echo is very similar, not to mention deliberate as fuck.

Maria Can’t Catch a Break by @ober-affen-geil

I adore Maria Deluca. She has gotten such a bad rap in the fandom because of the “love triangle” business. But fandom in general has done her dirty in that without removing the shipper goggles it is very hard to see that the show has established Maria as a character in her own right, just as much as it has with Kyle and Alex. And that’s why I love Riley’s meta about everything that Maria is dealing with, what she’s going through, and what it’s been like for her to be the one left behind 10 years ago.

GIFSETS/EDITS

i would know him in death, at the end of the world by @vlamito

I don’t even remember now who told me I had to read The Song of Achilles - it was pre-RNM hyperfixation, but I absolutely loved it (I definitely cried while reading it). And then I saw this gifset, oh mah gawd. Mich just has this ability to find quotes from other media and fit them seemlessly into Malex. And the moments she chooses for her gifsets are utter perfection. I think everyone has probably seen this now, but it’s a gifset I just keep going back to over and over again.

Are you okay? by @maxortecho

So I adore Echo. There is something about their softness, the way they look at each other, the way they act around each other that is just beautiful. Mo made this set, and pointed out in the tags that Liz pushes her arms underneath Max like she’s going to hug him, and it broke me. Like, I thought that scene in the finale was heartbreaking enough, but pointing that out? It hurts and I loved it.

Leading Ladies Appreciation by @lsobelevans

Lucie does some amazing things with color that truly make her edits stand out, and stick out in your mind. And it’s one of the things I love about her gif sets especially - it makes them uniquely hers, her own signature if you will. And this edit is no different - the splashes of color, the texture used for the background, the highlighting of the leading ladies is stunning work. 

Same page/Different book by @bisexualalienblast

Let’s just say that picking ONE gifset of Amanda’s is an impossibility for me, okay? Amanda’s sets are the reason I wanted to learn how to gif - her gifs are beautifully colored, they’re crisp, she always picks the best fonts, they’re smooth, and her ideas are stellar. Anyway, she more recently made this set, which just so perfectly illustrates Malex’s issue IN TWO GIFS. That’s it. Their entire problem in S1, right there. Beautiful.

VIDEO

Juice | Women of Roswell by @isakvaltersnake

Katie is a wizard with the video editing. She’s going to be a force when we’ve got more than one season of footage to play around with. And this video is fun and hot and LOOK AT THE WOMEN. They are smart, they are kind, they are flirty, they have agency, and they’re all hella sexy.

Weird Science | Liz & Michael - Science Bros by @soberqueerinthewild

Hands down, this is one of my favorite videos from the fandom, and definitely one of my favorite things Christina has made (though I basically love everything she does). It’s silly and ridiculous and 100% fun. She found every bit of footage in S1 and matched it to the song perfectly. It’s impossible to watch this video and not smile and laugh - it will instantly brighten your day.

MISC

RNM Texts From Last Night by @audreyblanche

I am slightly biased here, because while Irena came up with the idea, I encouraged her to actually go through with it, promising her that the fandom would enjoy it. So because of that it’s next to impossible for me to pick a favorite out of all the ones she’s done for this series (though the one where we settled on the Camluca ship name, as well as one I specifically requested for Malex come close), and I’m hoping that with the new season (and when she returns from hiatus), she can pick this up again.

[is-it-madness]

My Glorious Purpose | Loki x OC Chapter 1

A/N: Hello everyone! Welcome to my very first fanfic that I’ve finally had the guts to post on tumblr. I do have it on other sites, but was too nervous to post it here. After some convincing from the lovely @wowjeena​, I decided to post it here. This is a story about Loki and my OC. I really hope you all enjoy it! Any feedback is greatly appreciated! If you would like me to tag you, send me an ask or message me. I will gladly do so!

Pairing: Loki x OC  (Tera Digitalis)

Word Count: 1704

Warnings: None in this chapter :)

Chapter 1: Conference Room

(Tera’s POV)

I run through the helicarrier, not believing what Natasha told me. A Norse god? Here? At S.H.I.E.L.D? She said there was a small scuffle in Stuttgart. 

Yeah right, I think to myself as I continue my path down to the cell they are keeping him. There is no such thing as a small scuffle when a super soldier and Tony Stark team up to take him down. Natasha didn’t tell me his name, but that may be because I ran out of the room to see him for myself.

I reach the door that had the cells on the other side. I try to open the door, but it’s locked and I don’t have a key card. One of the perks of being an intern, I huff internally, frustrated at my inability to enter. 

“Something wrong?”

I spin around, coming face-to-face with Natasha. She gives me a smirk when I sigh. 

“I wanna see the ‘Norse god’ you were talking about,” I tell her, putting air quotes around Norse god because I still haven’t seen him.

“Come with me, Fury’s having a chat with him right now. We can watch from the bridge.”

“Okay,” I tell her.

We walk through the set of doors to find Dr. Banner and Captain Rogers already watching the scene unfold.

“Dr. Banner, I’d like you to meet one of our interns here at S.H.I.E.L.D.”

I stick my hand out, “Nice to meet you Doctor.”

He hesitates slightly before taking my hand in a firm shake.

Our attention is brought back to the screen by the sound of the wind screaming.

“Thirty thousand feet straight down in a steel trap. You get how that works?” Fury tells a man with dark black hair, who was imprisoned in the cage.

He pushes a button and closes the floor. He gestures first to the man.

 “Ant.” He then points towards the panel, “Boot.”

“It’s an impressive cage. Not built, I think, for me.”

This is the first time I hear him speak. He speaks with formality and an air of superiority. His accent is almost British, but there’s something else to it that made it seem more sophisticated.

“Built for something a lot stronger than you,” Fury shoots back.

“Oh I’ve heard,” the man says, turning to look at the camera, directly at us, as if he knew we are watching. Dr. Banner gives Natasha a look. He must have known that S.H.I.E.L.D. would take precautions.

“A mindless beast‒ makes play he’s still a man.”

I suddenly notice that a tall, blond, and extremely muscular man is in the room with us and is not watching but listening intently.

“How desperate are you, that you call on such lost creatures to defend you?” the black-haired man mocks.

Fury takes several steps closer to the cage, “How desperate am I? You threaten my world with war, you steal a force you can’t hope to control, you talk about peace and you kill ’cause it’s fun. You have made me very desperate. You might not be glad that you did.”

“Ooh. It burns you to have come so close, to have the Tesseract, to have power—unlimited power—and for what?” the prisoner asks. He looks back at the camera, towards us, and with a smile he says, “A warm light for all mankind to share?”

He turns back to face Fury, “And then to be reminded what real power is.”

Fury just smirks back at him, unshaken. “Well, let me know if ’real power’ wants a magazine or something,” he says before taking his leave.

The monitors go black.

 Captain Rogers looks up at us from where he sits, watching.

“He really grows on you doesn’t he?” Dr. Banner asks dryly.

“Loki’s gonna drag this out. So, Thor, what’s his play?” Captain Rogers asks, turning to the muscle man standing beside me.

“Wait. Thor? As in the Thor? Like son of Odin, the god of thunder, wielder of Mjolnir? And your adopted brother, Loki? That’s who we have? You’re that Thor?” I ask, incredulous. 

He looks at me, with an eyebrow raised. “Yes mortal child, that is I whom you speak of. How do you know so much of me? We have only just met.”

Embarrassed by my outburst, I simply mumble, “I read a lot. Also I’m not a child.”

I make note of Natasha smirking at me from the corner of my eye, as Thor smiles at me before turning back to the Captain.

“He has an army called the Chitauri. They’re not of Asgard, nor any world known. He means to lead them against your people. They will win him the Earth, in return, I suspect, for the Tesseract.”

Agent Maria Hill joins us in the conference room. She stands behind Thor, quietly listening.

“An army, from outer space?” Steve says in disbelief.

Dr. Banner fiddles with his glasses, “So, he’s building another portal. That’s what he needs Erik Selvig for.”

“Selvig?” Thor repeats.

“He’s an astrophysicist,” the doctor explains.

“He’s a friend,” Thor responds. 

Natasha looks up and speaks for the first time since the screens went dark. “Loki has them under some kind of spell - along with one of ours.”

I can hear the hurt in her voice, she and Clint had a special bond, they were extremely close.

“I wanna know why Loki let us take him. He’s not leading an army from here,” Steve says turning to Dr. Banner.

“I don’t think we should be focusing on Loki. That guy’s brain is a bag full of cats, you can smell crazy on him,” Banner jokes.

Thor takes a step closer to the table, “Have care how you speak. Loki is beyond reason but he is of Asgard, and he is my brother.”

Natasha gave Thor a look. “He killed eighty people in two days.”

“He’s... adopted.” Thor falters, blaming Loki’s action on his adoption. I roll my eyes.

Banner speaks up, “I think it’s about the mechanics. Iridium, what do they need the Iridium for?”

We hear a voice answer back from the hall, coming closer.

“It’s a stabilizing agent.”

It’s Tony Stark, walking beside Agent Coulson. He whispers something to Coulson about keeping love alive. I raise an eyebrow, but don’t say anything. Coulson smiles before heading off in another direction. Tony starts walking towards Thor.

“Means the portal won’t collapse on itself like it did at S.H.I.E.L.D.,” Tony explains, with a wave of his hand. “No hard feelings Point Break, you got a mean swing,” he says patting Thor’s biceps with the back of his hand. 

Thor gives him a look of death, but Tony doesn’t see it as he heads towards the control panels. Agent Hill rolls her eyes as Tony walks past her.

Tony continues without missing a beat, “Also, means the portal can open as wide and stay open as long as Loki wants.”

Tony turns to face the S.H.I.E.L.D. agents, “Ah, raise the mizzen mast, ship the topsails.”

They all turn to look at him, with confusion plastered all over their faces. I can’t help but laugh.

Tony suddenly points out excitedly. “That man is playing Galaga! Thought we wouldn’t notice, but we did.” 

We all look towards the man Tony had pointed out, and sure enough, he is playing Galaga.

Tony walks towards the command area of the ship, where Fury usually stands.

He covers an eye. “How does Fury even see these?”

“He turns.” Agent Hill responds simply, with her arms crossed.

“Sounds exhausting.”

Tony starts messing around with the screen. Pushing things, moving them aside.

“Is he even allowed to touch that?” I ask Nat.

She just shrugs and rolls her eyes.

“The rest of the raw materials, Agent Barton can get his hands on pretty easily. Only major component he still needs is a power source of high energy density. Something to kick-start the Cube.” Tony says.

Agent Hill interrupts him. “When did you become an expert in thermonuclear astrophysics?”

“Last night.” responds Tony, with attitude.

Hill looks at him, confused.

“The packet, Selvig’s notes, the extraction theory papers, ” Tony elaborates. “Am I the only one who did the reading?” he asks with his arm open. “And why is there a kid here?” he asks, pointing at me.

I give him a tight smile. Why does everyone think I’m a kid? “I’m actually an intern here, Mr. Stark. Agent Romanoff is my mentor.”

“Intern, huh? How old are you? 15? 16?”

“Nineteen, actually. Sir.” I add, not wanting to be rude, because Mr. Stark is a genius and you don’t want a genius against you. They can come up with some cruel, creative ways to get revenge. 

Steve speaks up, “Does Loki need any particular kind of power source?”

Banner responds, still playing with his glasses, “He’d have to heat the Cube to a hundred and twenty million kelvin just to break through the Coulomb barrier.”

I start to zone out. I have no idea what they were saying, and besides, this isn’t the field I’m planning on going in to.

I snap out of my daydream when Director Fury enters the room.

With his eye on Tony, he tells him, “Doctor Banner is only here to track the Cube. I was hoping you might join him.” 

Steve interjects, “I’d start with that stick of his. It may be magical but it works an awful lot like a HYDRA weapon.” 

“I don’t know about that, but it is powered by the Cube. And I like to know how Loki used it to turn two of the sharpest men I know into his personal flying monkeys.”

“Monkeys?” Thor asks, “I do not understand‒”

“I do!” Steve interjects, excited.

We all turn to look at him, while Tony rolls his eyes. I feel a smile forming on my lips.

“I understood that reference,” he continues.

I think he’s happy to find something in this world that he actually understands.

Tony breaks the silence. He turns to Dr. Banner. “Shall we play, Doctor?”

“This way, sir.” He answers and they walk out. 

Part 2