#i thought like what kinda heart wrenching idea have you brought to me this time😭😭 | Explore Tumblr posts and blogs

rayroseu · 26 days ago

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OHHH NYGOF SIDIWJIEW WHY WAS THIS SO PERFECT IN CHARACTERIZATION LIKE I CAN PERFECTLY PICTURE THIS HAPPENING TRULY IN GAME 😭🙏✨ YOU DID GREAT HANA 😭😭 YOU MADE ME TEAR UP NOTGONNALIEEE JAJSIW

also great timing of my playlist to play the light behind your eyes by mcr like wayyy to play a funeral song about a fic about "putting down a loved one"😭😭

OKAY but the way i immediately jumped by the mention of vertiver and oak moss though I SEE YOU I SEE WHAT YOURE DOING AAAJHSJAH I IMMEDIATELY RECOGNIZED THAT AS MALLEUS' FRAGRANCE 😭😭🙏✨

i love the gifts you have chosen for them, like all of them were meant to be kept and last forever 😭

THE GARGOYLE PLUSH PART WAS SO HEARTWRENCHING THOUGH STOPPP YOU REALLY WENT ALL OUT ON THAT PART thats when i started to tear up HELP 😭✨🙏✨🙏✨✨✨

"He’ll protect you until I arrive, be it from your dreams or anyone until I arrive.” I internally sobbed OMGGG and the fact tgat Malleus has kept it since he was a kid and mended any damages it had over the years ??? GODFFF its like how Malleus treats Lilia in a way where he'll always be attentive in fixing anything "wrong" about his well being 😭✨

I also love the build up on his confession!! Like it felt like before he said it, he was fighting off this regret that he didnt say it sooner, but its too late now so he tried not to say it until the regret came off too strong seeing Malleus so lifeless around him so he still said it even if he expected that it was too late 😭 IT WAS TOO GOOD AUGHHUSHDUAU

"Never again would he see that smirk Nor calm a storm's anger Never again would he be able to pat midnight strands as they looked upon him with fondness.Never again would he be able to say-I love you" AAAAAA PEAK BUILD UP MY ANGSTY HEART WAS FEELING IT *ALLLL* UP 🙏✨✨✨😭😭😭😭😭

AND THE ENDING AAAAAAA im glad it was a happy end i wouldve ruminated over this for a week HSHAJHS MALLEUS IS LILIA'S HEART IS SUCH A GOOD INTERPRETATION THOUGH AAAAAAA like how Lilia after losing his life purpose after the war, only thought of Malleus as his reason to live, like it was his heart 😭🙏✨ ITS SO GOOD

OHHH but i really love the deleted scenes the gifts were perfect and the way they'll all wither once Malleus passes was so angsty I LOVE HEART WRENCHING SCENES LIKE THAT AHSHAJAHD✨✨✨

AND MAYBE ITS JUST MY DELUSION BUT AUGHHH THIS. THIS SENTENCE:

Tomorrow. Malleus would return home.

I love this sentence bcs it making me think of MELEANOR AND LEVAN AJSJAJSJJA I kinda thought returning home was returning to the stars so if Malleus dies it means that he can finally be together with Meleanor and Levan AAAAAAA 😭😭😭😭But I kinda know thats not what happened, i think they just brought him back home AND IM JUST THINKING TOO MUCH 😂 alas my mind gotta insert Meleanor everywhere ✨💕🙏

He would rather be quartered and shamed in front of all of Briar Valley for not protecting Malleus. AUGHHH THIS HITS AS WELLL the peak of his unconditional love was that when Lilia treasures someone he really gives it all 😭🙏 he disregards his pride or his life if it meant that they can live AND YOU PERFECTLY CAPTURED THAT AKDJWKJE

Now im just inagining Malleus' mausoleum looks like the chamber for his incubation when he was still an egg (I cant remember the name for it lol but its Mallegg's Room) 😭 It'll be kinda poetic to see a place akin to where it started (his hatching) to where it MAY end (his death)😭🙏✨

AND OHHH I LOVE THE IDEA THAT THE STRIKETHROUGH TEXT WILL BE GONE AFTER LILIA FINALLY ADMITTED HIS LOVE AJDJJWJD like a heavy burden is lifted and his thoughts became clear bcs he let go of all his restraints now that he can still be with Malleus after almost losing him 😭✨ and I also love the fact those text were most prominent when he had to put him down now but he couldnt just yet 😭🙏✨

AND AAAAA The bathing scene was quite painful too !!! its so good how you mentioned that Malleus used to be rambunctious about it but its so depressinh for Lilia to see him not protesting about it now that he's lifeless AAAA I LOVE IT THATS SO DEPRESSING 😭🙏✨✨✨

I love how the first line of the fic involved Lilia collapsing lol Thats really what he does after losing someone, when Meleanor died he also collapsed on his knees like there was a thud sfx in game which meant he kneeled after the realization as the night sky of that day slowly disappeared and all he managed to save on that day was only the egg on his hands AAA I FELT LIKE IT WAS A NICE CALLBACK

I actually also love the fact that in the end, Malleus hug didnt made it lol I felt like it was saying that Lilia's love was that unconditional, Malleus doesnt have to repay or return it with anything, he doesnt require Malleus to love him back (even if he does lol) as long as he lives on and he can see him content with his life 😭🙏

ok enough with my rambles 😂 you definitelt worked my sobbing emojis with this fic hana😭😭😭✨ I'LL BE THINKING ABOUT THIS AKJDKAKS 💕💖💕 GRAGHHH I LOVE THE IDEA SM 💕💖💕 happy 1 year anniversary to the malleus and lilia content that still crashes our hearts no matter how many times its repeated😭🙏

Excerpt: Tomorrow, tomorrow Malleus would return home. Without him. Lilia had planned to never return to Briar Valley. Now, he never would. His home lost forever.

He sent them away.

Two knights, haggard and stalwart, reluctant to leave.

Lilia understood.

They have sworn their life and fealty to Malleus Draconia.

Their care for him extended even beyond something as simple as duty and loyalty,

But they needed their rest.

The journey tomorrow would be a taxing one. They’d need all the rest they could get.

After tomorrow’s journey’s end, there would be no more knighthood for the two. They would need to look for a new path. Their chosen path too painful to continue now.

Tomorrow.

Tomorrow, Malleus will take his final journey home. Without him. Lilia had planned to never return to Briar Valley. Now, he never would. His home lost forever.

Malleus Draconia would be returning home in a coffin carried by his two knights.

A coffin Lillia himself put together. Made with glass and magic.

Engraving and weaving intricate designs through slightly shaken hands.

Cushioned with the finest silk Lilia could find on such short notice. A pillow cushion made for horns for one to sleep comfortably. Given long ago.

Not as fine as it could be as a prince deserves.

But Lilia didn’t see the reason why it should be.

Malleus was just a boy.

His boy.

He didn’t deserve to have his sleep cold and unfamiliar.

He should be surrounded by that which he loves and made him comfortable.

And this was just that.

Tomorrow.

Malleus would return home.

Lilia would remain behind.

It wasn’t shame or grief that stayed his hand. He would rather be quartered and shamed in front of all of Briar Valley for not protecting Malleus.

He was simply too tired to make the journey.

A truly cowardice move on his part.

He didn’t think he could watch them lower Malleus’ body into a special pit made for his burial; in a mausoleum made for past royalty without throwing himself into it to join him.

A Father couldn’t bury his own son. He didn’t have that strength in him.

Trembling fingers wipes at stinging eyes. No, he can’t.

Not right now.

He doesn’t want his tears to mar Malleus.

He bathed Malleus with fragrances of evergreen and the sweetness of vetiver and oak moss.

He smelled like home.

Lilia has never prayed to a higher being before.

Rarely believed in them.

Having seen what he had. War. Bloodshed. Death.

But he prays now.

Please

Please.

It was too quiet.

Bath time was never this quiet.

Running after a spitfire. Once on four legs and then two. Stumbling. Always hating bath time.

It was loud. It tested Lilia’s speed even back then.

But they both adored it.

Lilia prays.

Please.

It’s too quiet.

His prayers go unheard.

Lilia smooths the silk, tucking it close. He didn’t want him to be cold. Lilia moves the gifts lovingly given close to Malleus, knowing how he would have preferred to have them next to him.

Malleus is cold. Too cold.

He stares at the items before him:

Lilia remembers passing by Silver’s room a few days prior. Broken sobs muffled by the door. Lilia hesitated for a moment. Contemplating passing by, letting the boy deal with his grief. No. How could he? When it was restraints and buried feelings that led them all to this situation?

When Lilia enters the room, it’s to a hunched back and shaking hands. The moon reflects silver strands but what stands out the most is the brown of acorns spread around. Lilia is quick to hug Silver and the boy breaks down in his arms.

An acorn bracelet.

To live a long and healthy life.

He remembers watching Sebek when the boy thought he was alone, chipping away at stone and wood.

Over and over.

At every chance he could.

Sebek had chosen to wrought a crest of his own design, to wish his lord happiness and reunion. For him to be surrounded by love.

Lilia watched him silently, supporting him from the shadows.

Lilia’s eyes blurs as he lays a hand over the plush.

A gargoyle plush.

He had seen it during one of his travels. Had thought of Malleus right away.

Malleus loved gargoyles even from a young age. Lilia recalls the excitement he felt when he gave the young one his present.

Malleus’ smile had been worth it. His smile bright as he hugged the plush close to him until Lilia had called it a gargoyle, then he had pouted and called it a grotesque because, “It had no use.”

Lilia remembers the laugh he gave out then, “Of course it has a purpose, it’s to protect you when I’m not around. He’ll protect you until I arrive, be it from your dreams or anyone until I arrive.”

Malleus had smiled wide with fangs then, cheeks slightly red with childlike joy as he hugged Lilia.

Lilia had thought Malleus had outgrown it. Having not seen it for decades.

What a surprise it had been to find it on his bed. When he had finally, finally, taken the courage to enter his room.

A frail and old thing. Mended over and over. With stitches uneven to expertly sewn. From the nimble hands of a child to that of an adult.

Lilia recalls breaking down right then and there. Clutching the plush to his chest. Rocking back and forth as if he held a child.

His boy. His boy. Where is he now? Why won’t he awaken? Why won’t he answer?

The scent of evergreen was still fresh from where he had buried his head. A plush still in use. Lilia cried til his voice was hoarse.

A journey’s end.

His end.

Never again would he see that smirk

Nor calm a storm's anger

Never again would he be able to pat midnight strands as they looked upon him with fondness.

Never again would he be able to say-

I love you

Lilia's knees hit the floor.

I love you.

Lilia gasped.

His breathing coming quicker, uneven.

Malleus knew.

He had to know.

Right?

“The Senate! Even Grandmother lied!”

No. Malleus had to have known.

“What dream would you like, Lilia? One with mother and father? One where you live happily with Silver?”

Frame shaking.

No.

Did he never say?

Hands clawed into his face.

No. No. No!

He must have.

He never did.

Lilia dragged his body up, heavier than ever before.

Ignoring the stinging from the cuts he made.

Please.

Body barely holding himself over the one in eternal sleep.

A hand gently cupping a too-cold cheek.

Lilia prays.

The Great Seven.

The Thorn Fairy.

Any Powers That Be.

Please let him hear these words now.

It's too late.

Lilia grits his teeth against the wobble of incoming grief.

Please.

I beg of you.

Let him hear me.

"I love you."

Words spoken in a cracked voice.

"I love you, Malleus."

Lilia sobbed, clutching at the robe beneath him.

Don't take him aw-

"I love you too, Lilia."

He froze.

His heart stopped, and the very blood in his veins froze, but it was the hand on his own that had his gaze shooting up.

Soft green stares back at him as tears fall from one freshly awoken.

A desperate cry with a flurry of movement.

Hands desperately clutching and pulling Malleus to his chest. ignoring and uncaring of the damage he caused to fine silk clothes.

His Heart.

His Heart Returned.

A wail vibrated the walls alerting the heavens high above.

A sound unheard of for centuries.

True Love brought back a Son to His Father.

Happy 1 Year Anniversary to Baby Malleus hatching and to the love that changed Lilia Vanrouge forever. You both worked so hard and I’m so proud of you two. I love them both so much. True Love My Beloveds. 😭🥳💞

I’ve been working on this project for about a few months on and off (it was fighting me as much as I was fighting it; while half the time sick lolol) 😂😆. It’s a project that I was very passionate about, so I hope you all enjoyed it as much as I loved writing it. This fic started because of the need, the need damnit, I have of Lilia and Malleus to say “I love you” to each other verbally. You know what they say, make your own wishes come true.☺️🥰💞

Shout out to my beta reader, @world-of-hearts, Amy for beta reading this and all the feedback/ideas she indulges me with when I go to her for opinions. Some of these scenes (like Sebek’s gift) were influenced by our talks and picking at each other brains.💕🫶💚🫂

There are deleted scenes, commentary, and some fun facts that I included below that I hope you guys will like 💕🫶 (I haven’t had a fic with deleted scenes, etc. in such a long while, so you know I was going all out with my battle with this story lolol). I am rambling too much lolol. I'm just excited to share this piece. 🌺💕💚

Thank you so much for reading. ☺️🙏💚

Deleted Scenes:

Silver’s Acorn Bracelet:

Lilia shakes and recalls words that would be branded in his mind forever.

“It was a gift that even Malleus was jealous of.”

“You always asked me if I was envious. What if I am?”

He would have been, wouldn’t he and Lilia was blind to it all.

An acorn bracelet that could grant long life let alone bring back a loved one.

A gift given out of love.

A gift that would never have the chance to do as intended.

(AN: I didn’t keep this scene because I didn’t want the gifts to be ‘useless’ nor did I want the scenes to get to depressing. Because these gifts are given out of love and thought, it wouldn’t feel right for their feelings to reflect bitterness and what could have beens.

And yes if that line, “You always asked me if I was envious. What if I am?” Seemed familiar, it is. It’s from this fic. You can technically think of this fic as a sequel to that one if you want.)

Sebek’s Gargoyle Gift:

Something from Sebek, he had seen Sebek toil away at tools and books during the few times he was relieved of his watch. Chipping at stone till hands are raw and grazed with cuts. Gargoyles. Sebek had chosen to put gargoyles. Something Malleus adored. Gargoyles. Ones who are feared and misunderstood but also strong and protectors. Just like Malleus. Lilia had offered to hang the gargoyles by the sides of the coffin, but Sebek refused.

He wanted them with his liege, so he wouldn’t be lonely. Gargoyle who became a grotesque. Purposeless and just for show. Just like him.

(AN: The same reasoning as Silver’s this was taken out. I didn’t want a gift that given out of love to be seen so negatively even by the characters. After all, it was their last gift to their liege and someone they loved.)

Lilia’s Rose:

His vision blurs as he looks at the flower placed right next to Malleus’s head

A dried-up flower from Malleus-a memory Lilia revisits, magic low, only glimpses of a prideful yet shy smile, presenting him with a rose he had grown. Some petals singed from excitement, but shyly given.

Lilia had kept that flower, preserved it with magic; when his magic started fading so did the spell on the rose but he kept it safe and loved all the same.

(AN: I took this out because Malleus wouldn’t want Lilia to return his flower to him. Young Malleus gave it to him out of love for Lilia. Malleus would want Lilia to keep it and likewise, Lilia wouldn’t be able to part with it. It’s precious to him, just like the Acorn bracelet is.)

Malleus's Hug:

Malleus holding him just as tight, cries muffled against a shoulder that had felt big when he was younger but small to him now.

(AN: I did initially describe Malleus returning the hug but then took it out. This whole story was in Lilia’s POV and I wanted it to stay that way. It felt as if I was breaking the narrative a bit by switching and I didn’t want that. It started with Lilia and ended with Lilia.)

Fun Facts:

Malleus’ Scent

Vetiver, Oak Moss, and Evergreen are the scents described in Malleus’ Valentines 2024 room fragrance. It smells like the forest and while strong, it’s also has gentle tones. It smells like home to Lilia because it’s smells like the forest surrounding the cottage. The woods that protect his home and also the very lands Lilia has always known and grew up on.

It smells like home because it smells like Malleus since he was small to how he’s grown now. To Malleus, Briar Valley has always been his home; but most of all, it was that cottage that he felt the most comfortable and free.

You can read more about the scents and their details here

Lilia’s Heart = Malleus

There’s this special analysis that I will write based on this that I’m really looking forward to releasing. But essentially, as a preview for you all, it’s how Malleus is the reflection of Lilia’s heart. He is Lilia’s heart. Malleus, who is the reason why Lilia finally manifested his UM, is also the reflection of his soul.

You can kind of get the idea of what I mean UM wise through this fic. (Which you can also think of this fic as a sequel to if you choose.)

The Bathing Scene

The bathing scene is inspired from my culture. We bathe our dead loved ones and then wrap them in cloth. Of course in this, Malleus wasn’t wrapped in cloth but he was bathed by a loved one. In my culture, only those close to the one who passed away/family can do this ritual. During this bath, you’re not allowed to cry because that would take away “the purity” of the bath. So that’s why Lilia didn’t allow any of his tears to fall or touch Malleus.

I thought it was very fitting and a perfect way for Lilia to reflect his grief/cherished memories to show. When else would you wish for your prayers to come true the most? Except at this most vulnerable time?

Strikethroughs Texts

I don’t normally use too many strikethrough texts in my fics because I worry if it’s readable/hard to read for the audience. But for this fic, I made an exception.

I felt for Lilia and the story it was needed. My thought process was that the strikethrough texts was a part of Lilia that was keeping him together. A part of him that was in denial but also that part that is the last bit of strength and that inner voice in your head.

I don’t know if I’m explaining it well but when Lilia says, “I love you.” You’ll see the strikethrough texts are gone from then on. In this way, it shows he’s overcome that last bit that held him back. He was finally able to express himself and his love fully which leads to Malleus waking up from his True Love.

“Lilia’s knees hit the floor.”

This was the first scene written and literally everything came after. I had nothing else planned besides this line. This scene was the start. Something about the shock and impact of Lilia falling to his knees in realization. It just…it hits you? You know? Because it’s Lilia. And eventually, I was able to find the right ending to continue from there/end the story. It really is about trusting the process.

#hanafubukki💖💐#fic recommendation 💐💖

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