#i thought about his abandonment issues for too long and made this in 30 min like omg he makes me so sad

[anders-holmvik]

buck: love dog

[lennjamin-o7]

Ugh it took ages to find a spare moment to read but I'm here to yammer as per usual!! I spent like 30 mins debating whether this should be a comment or an ask I've thought way too hard about it for way too long.

I'm shaking you by the shoulders the entire chap is sooo good man. I love how Technos powers keep tuning into the deaths happening around him.

I will say that Techno is a fuckin compartmentalizing champion, this boy is packing away so much trauma that Phil will Totally not weaponize against heroes.

By absolute fav section is, of course, the emduo crumbs. I absolutely love the bit where Phil realises that Techno doesn't have to just be a little sidekick… he can be a sonboy too.

Even if you look at it from the more callous point of view where he's using Techs abandonment issues as a way to get closer to him Phil's literally just signing himself up to get way too attached and adopt him either way.

Also I know we don't see really anything except glimpses of Wilbur but I like to think that Phils like literally never mentioned Tech to him before. That way when he inevitably drags Tech to meet him like "meet your new brother! :D" Wil is just completely blindsided. Its unlikely but its silly so I'm choosing to believe it.

Oh and that meeting is gonna end so badly. Just horribly. Currently putting my bets on Techno maybe getting really overwhelmed and lashing out with his powers so Phil can weaponize that further against him.

How I think it'd go down is way more messy and convoluted than what would really fit in this or whatever since its already long enough but that's how I think the adoption is gonna play out.

Anyway I've rambled long enough!! Absolutely banger chapter as usual, well worth the wait!!

Comment or ask, I am ALWAYS happy to hear your thoughts asdfghjlk and I have been munching on this ask for weeks. Just chewing on it like a cow to get every ounce of flavor out of it.

The boy has blood on his hands and that just makes him more sonboi shaped for a very greedy crow.

Techno is fiiiiiinee. Completely fiiinnnneee. There is no trauma on ba sing se. He can just think around it. He is a-okay for surre. There is nothing to manipulate. Nope. Philza is juuuuuust going to be a comfort. Nothing more lololololololol.

Phil has mentioned Technoblade to Wilbur in this. But he has described it the same way as he would describe any of his projects. This is just a fleeting whim of The Crow and Wilbur has heard his dad monologue about enough projects to just tune him out when he is talking. He's going to be very surprised when Phil rolls up with a child. Phil is going to be like "I told you about this" while Will is like "You should've known I wasn't listening!!!!"

And whaaaat nooooo the parent teacher conference is going to go so well! Why would you think there would be anything tragic there??? Its going to be fiiiiiineeee.

Thank you for all of your rambling. It made me smile so much! 🥺🥹 I'm really happy you enjoyed it!

[livinglikearoyal]

K-drama Recommendations: Nov. 2019

One of you asked for some K-Drama recommendations and here you are! Keep in mind that I watched some of these quite a while ago so the plot isn’t as fresh in my mind as I’d like. I tried to keep the list to K-dramas that are fairly easy to find either on Netflix or Hulu. I’d love to hear your opinions on these and any recommendations you have for me! Also, these aren’t necessarily in any sort of order...but I will say the top 10 that were described are ones that I will probably rewatch at some point because I enjoyed them so much.

Chicago Typewriter (Netflix)

Summary: This one is hard to summarize without giving away the storyline. It follows a group of three characters through two eras: the 1930s Japanese occupation of Korea and then the present timeline. The characters’ reincarnated selves are brought together seemingly by fate and struggle to find out the truth of the past lives.

Why I liked it: Netflix almost did me dirty on this one. The summary and preview that popped up were not intriguing to me at all. However, it said I’d be interested in this (98%) so I figured I’d give it a shot. Boy...was this a journey. I absolutely fell in love with the characters and I loved how there wasn’t a “weak link” in the trio. They all brought something unique and important to the dynamic of the show. The acting is spectacular and they really allowed these characters to grow. The storyline can be predictable at times...but how they get there is unexpected. The ending had me in happy tears. 10/10 will watch again!

Romance is a Bonus Book (Netflix)

Summary: This kdrama follows Kang Dani, a 30-something mother, and her journey to find herself after a divorce. She reenters the workforce after being a housewife and finds herself at a popular publishing company as a temporary worker (I believe it was an internship). This company just happens to have one of her childhood friends as one of the co-owners and editors-in-chief. That doesn’t make it any easier on her and the series follows her through the hardships and triumphs of finding her independence. 

Why I liked it: The title says it all. The romance is just the cherry on top for this storyline. It really follows Kang Dani and looks at all of the challenges that people of various demographics face: single parents, “older” individuals trying to find a job after a time away (and while competing with the younger folks), women in general, etc. I was going through a bit of a quarter-life crisis when I stumbled upon this...questioning my job, my love life (or lack thereof), the expectations that I was facing...and it really helped ease a lot of the anxiety. Plus, Kang Dani and  Cha Eunho are absolutely adorable working alongside each other. The ending credits of the final episode got me too. This is the one that I couldn’t help to rave about to my coworkers that have never watched a kdrama in their lives. 

Strong Girl Do Bong-Soon (Netflix)

Summary: Bong-Soon was born with superhuman strength like the other women in her family and she aspires to become a video game creator--making a game with a strong female character like herself. In real life, she tries to be more “girly” and “delicate” but it doesn’t always work. One thing leads to another and she finds herself hired as a bodyguard to the CEO(?) of a video game company and also tries to find a kidnapper that is threatening her neighborhood. 

Why I liked it: Strong female lead...duh! :) But in all honesty, I don’t remember all of the details from this one as I watched it a long while ago. I remember it being funny, sweet, inspiring and suspenseful. I loved the main three characters too! 

Hello, My Twenties  (Netflix)

Summary: A group of female college students learns and grows while living together. Each character has their own backstory, secrets, and hardships. The five bond through the various hardships, traumas, and successes that come their way. 

Why I liked it: 5 strong women finding their way in the world. They struggle with so many realistic things: temptations, poverty, insecurities in their love life, an apartment ghost, an attractive neighbor. It was a fun and heartfelt journey. Realistic. You can definitely learn something from this one! Once again, my single self enjoyed that it wasn’t relying on a love story to draw the plot forward also.

The Smile Has Left Your Eyes (Hulu)

Summary: Kim Moo Young has lived a traumatic life and is rolling with the punches. He has also forgotten many of his childhood memories. When he happens upon Jung So Min, he doesn’t think anything of it. They grow on each other and eventually enter a relationship, much to the disapproval of her brother, a homicide detective. He believes Kim Moo Young is more sinister than he lets on. 

Why I liked it: Just looking at clips/photos/quotes from this drama still tugs on my heartstrings. This one made me an emotional MESS. Seo In Guk is PHENOMENAL as Moo Young. Absolutely phenomenal. His character is so cold and detached--flawed--but he still makes the viewer connect with him. The storyline could be cliche (amnesia, secrets, etc), but they execute it so well. Each episode is a cliff-hanger and you get so emotionally invested in the characters, Moo Young especially, that you just stay up all night binging it...knowing that you are on a train that is heading straight for heartbreak. I will definitely rewatch when I’m in my feelings. 

One Spring Night (Netflix)

Summary: Lee Jung-In is a librarian who happens to meet Yoo Jiho at the pharmacy where she buys a remedy to her hangover but forgets her wallet. He tells her to pay him back later and pays for a taxi. She is in a long-term relationship with a very well-off gentleman and is battling with pressure to get married from both her family and her significant other, but she has her doubts. This meeting with Yoo Jiho makes her question marriage even more as she begins to fall for him. Another issue, he is a single father and is looked down upon by their society and her family because of it. 

Why I liked it: I always love a show where they go against the norms. I fell in love with Yoo Jiho immediately and his son even more so. It is real. The conversations are thought-provoking. The love is sweet. 

Just Between Lovers (a.k.a. Rain or Shine) (Netflix)

Summary: Two individuals who lost their loved ones in a tragic mall collapse meet each other after there is news that a new mall is being built in the same location. Lee Gang-Doo was an aspiring soccer player when he lost his father (a construction worker) in the mall collapse and his legs were injured, ruining his dream. He has become a bit of a “bad boy”. Ha Moon-Soo was at the mall with her younger sister when it collapsed. Ha Moon-Soo survived; her sister did not. The two characters find out that their lives are more interwoven than they thought and work to figure out how they can stop another traumatic event from happening in the same location.

Why I liked it: It had mystery. It had trauma. It had love. These two main characters are complete opposites on the outside but their traumas bring them together and they make an awesome team. Another one that really tugs on your heartstrings! 

Black (Netflix)

Summary:  Black is a detective possessed by the Grim Reaper. Ha-Ram can see shadows of death. These two struggle to save the lives of people, breaking the rules of heaven. (from AsianWiki)

Why I liked it: It has been quite a while since I watched this one. It was my first Korean mystery show. This is one that you can’t watch when you are distracted...you need to have your eyes on the screen at all times or you are going to miss something important. It was suspenseful and interesting. I’m not sure if it is one I will rewatch, but it is definitely worth the first time!

Vagabond (Netflix)

Summary: This is a newer addition to Netflix. Cha Dalgun is a stuntman that has taken in his nephew after he was abandoned by his mother. Their relationship becomes strained as his nephew begins to see how much Cha Dalgun hadn’t wanted a child before him and doesn’t have the finances to live a prosperous life. When his nephew dies in a tragic plane crash alongside the rest of his soccer team, we begin to see how much the boy meant to Cha Dalgun. When some video clips shared on the cloud make Dalgun suspect malicious intent in the plane crash, our story begins. He meets Go Haeri, a member of the NIS, when the bereaved families fly in to collect their deceased loved ones. A story of political corruption, big business, terrorism, doubt, and crime-fighting ensues. 

Why I liked it: This one isn’t completed on Netflix yet so I don’t know the ending, but it is definitely suspenseful and you find yourself trying to figure it all out and cheering on or booing at the characters. The characters of Cha Dalgun and Go Haeri both won my heart early on and now I’m hoping their ship sails! Each episode leaves you on the edge of you seat. 

Rookie Historian Goo Hae Ryung (Netflix)

Summary: Goo Hae Ryung is still single in her late twenties and is seen as a sort of misfit as she seeks knowledge rather than a husband. She becomes a female historian in the Joseon Dynasty. Prince Yirim has been living a life away from society, writing love stories that are popular but forbidden by the government. The two happen upon each other in a book store where she speaks poorly of his writing/genre. As they come to be familiar with each other through their positions, they work to uncover the secrets that the rulers would prefer to keep hidden. 

Why I liked it: The cast of characters is spectacular. While Hae Ryung and Yirim are the leads, there are so many supporting characters that catch your attention and win over your heart or make you absolutely hate them. They also aren’t all the boring, simple, support characters. They are so complex that this seems more like a slice of life piece rather than a drama. The storyline is interesting, especially to someone with little to no knowledge about the Joseon dynasty, Hae Ryung stays strong and independent while also showing her vulnerability. Yirim puts off a clueless aura but is really a strong character. Did I mention the characterization is amazing? 

A Few Honorable Mentions...

Something in the Rain (Netflix)

Memories of the Alhambra (Netflix)

When the Camellia Blooms (Netflix)

Descendants of the Sun (Hulu)

Thirty but Seventeen (Hulu)

What's Wrong with Secretary Kim (Hulu)

[ddaeng-181338]

Cold | 03

Wolf AU

• Min Yoongi x Reader

• Enemies to Lovers

Yoongi hated you the moment you joined the pack and that was that

Cold MasterList

Warnings - this chapter contains mentions of Physical and Mental abuse as well as implied sexual abuse

You were curled up on Namjoon’s bed—fluffy blanket snuggled around you as he typed away on his laptop. It was about 10:30 that night and you were waiting for him to finish so you could talk. “Joonie, what are we going to do.” He didn't reply but you knew he heard you. You sighed and rolled over so you were on your back, eyes staring up to the ceiling as you tried to wrap your mind around the whole situation.

“At this point the best thing we can do is keep you hidden here. I mean it's not like you’re leaving us but you get the point. Jinyoung will give up eventually.” You shivered at his name. Jinyoung, your psycho ex boyfriend who was hell bent on getting you back. You had fled from his pack about 9 months ago when you found out they planned on killing humans for the fun of it.

“Joonie...he’s going to find me, and I don’t know what I’ll do when he does.” You felt hopeless when you talked about him, like a permanent thorn stuck in your side. “And if he does find you I’ll be ready.” Your heart ached for a moment and you rolled over again. “I don't want any of you getting hurt. Namjoon we have to tell another member, we can't keep this amongst ourselves.” He leaned back from his laptop, eyes looking heavier than usual.

“Do you think it would be smart to tell Jin hyung?” You thought about it for a moment—the eldest of your pack was also one of the strongest, even though he was an Omega— “Yeah, he knows something is up Joonie, it would be good to let him know.” Namjoon rubbed his eyes for a moment and stretched back, “I’ll go grab him.” You watched him get up and stride towards his bedroom door, opening it and closing it with a soft click.

This is all so fucked up. He will find me eventually, but I can't let them get hurt because of him. I won't let him hurt them. You hated him for everything, the mental abuse—the sometimes physical abuse— you had been nothing but a toy to him, a pretty little omega for him to take all his frustrations out on.

You heard two sets of footsteps reach the door and you sat up, keeping the fluffy blanket snuggled around you as Jin and Namjoon walked through the door. Namjoon returned to his original seat in front of his laptop, Jin on the other hand sat down on the edge of the bed. “So you two are going to finally explain yeah?” His voice shook slightly and it made your heart quicken. This was something he wanted to know so bad—but you could tell he was terrified of what you were about to say.

“You want me to tell him Y/n?” You shook your head “it's best if i tell him Joonie.” You watched Jin nervously, his hands were clamped together and his head was dipped slightly. “Are you okay hyung?” Jin didn't look up “i don’t know, i just I’m terrified for what you’re about to tell me y/n, you’re like a little sister to me I…” his voice cracked a little and you moved forward, wrapping him in a tight hug.

“Okay so, about 9 months ago I ran away from my old pack. They were brutal, to everyone and everything. I stuck with them cause i had nowhere else to go. The main reason i left was because of that they planned to do. Start killing humans for fun. That was the last straw for me really. Now why it's such an issue is because of one alpha in particular. The leader of the pack — Jinyoung— who is also my ex-boyfriend.” You could here Jin’s sharp intake of breath. “He abused me mentally, sometimes physically. And now that i've left he is determined to find me again.”

A silence settled among the three of you for a few minutes — you felt relief at finally being about to share your story with someone other than Namjoon. Finally he looked up. “I’ll kill that bastard Y/n, I’ll kill that bastard for everything he has done to you.” You felt your eyes well up, the fierceness in his tone was laced with so much love for you it nearly brought you to tears. You leaned forward again, hands coming around to circle his neck as he pulled you into his lap. You relaxed into his embrace, the familiar smell of vanilla calming your nerves.

“You get why I’m so protective of her now hyung? I found her on my last hunt, wandering through the woods trying to find shelter.” You buried your head in Jin’s neck this time, tears spilling over as the memories of that day flooded your mind. Jin began rocking you slightly, as if you were a newborn baby that needed comfort—and you were thankful for it.

You felt the fuzzy blanket you’d previously abandoned be wrapped around you as he pulled you tighter to his chest. “So what are we going to do.” You couldn’t see him but you could feel him, Namjoon’s eyes staring at your back as he thought of what you could do. “I...still don’t know, it is kind of a waiting game.” Jin sighed, rubbing soothing circles on your back as your tears finally slowed.

You didn’t want to leave his embrace so instead of talking you kept your face buried in his neck, letting your eyes close again. “I’d hope he’d give up eventually, once he realizes he can’t have her.” That will never happen, he won't stop until he finds me. Unless we kill him first…

Again silence filled the room and you peaked up for a moment, seeing that Namjoon was leaning back in his chair with his eyes closed. Jin looked down at you and smiled softly, thumb coming up to wipe away the tear stains on your cheeks. “Hey princess.” You smiled a little at that. “Should i just change my name to princess?” A soft giggle left your lips and all the worries you had melted away from your body.

“No cause they’d we’d have to think of another nickname.” It was Namjoon this time, sitting up normal and watching the two of you fondly. “I think we can call it a night too, Jin hyung—please don’t tell anyone else.” Jin nodded while you got off his lap, stretching your legs and arms out after hugging him so tightly. You leaned forward to place a kiss on his cheek and he smiled softly at you. “I think I’m going to go up to the roof, get some air and watch the stars.”

“I think I’ll head to bed” Jin stood up, mimicking the stretches you did before saying good night to both of you and heading out. “If you’re going to the roof y/n be careful. I’ll be right here so if anything happens…” you cut him off “call you.” He nodded and turned around to face his laptop once more, I wonder who he could be talking too.

You slipped on your running shoes at the front door, as easy as going out barefoot would be — you could never be too sure. The front door opened with a click and cool air met your heated skin. You were wearing pajama shorts and a long sleeve shirt, so the cool air against your legs was more than welcome. You headed down the steps, eyes trailing over the edges of the woods that surrounded your pack’s home. Nothing...no scent of him either.

You climbed the ladder to the roof easily, letting your legs dangle over the edge once you settled yourself against the angle of the roof. I won’t let Jinyoung get to them. I won’t let him hurt them. And I’ll sure as hell never let him hurt me again. You let your back fall completely against the roof, your eyes trailing up to look at the stars above you-sparkling softly down on the world.

You didn't know when your eyes has shut but you woke up with a start—shooting forward as if you had just woken up from a nightmare. An all too familiar scent hit you like a slap to the face — lemon — your head shot around as you tried to find the source of it. No no no no you’re kidding, he couldnt have found me…

You began to get up, fully prepared to sprint back into the house. Still no sign of Jinyoung anywhere but his scent was everywhere. It wasn’t a cleaning supply lemon scent — more of a lemon drop scent. Something sweet and intoxication—something you used to be obsessed with only ten months back. Now however that smell made you recoil. An involuntary growl left your lips — it seems the omega wolf in you was feeling the same as well.

You moved for the ladder, everything in you screaming to get inside and get to Namjoon— but you froze. Eyes going wide as you turned around to see him standing just ten feet away from you. “Found you y/n.” You stared at him—to shocked to really say much of anything. “What is it darling? So shocked to see me that you lost your words.” Your head nodded — Move y/n fucking move you idiot, yell do something come on!

“Fuck you Jinyoung.” Smart y/n. He seemed unfazed by your outburst, if anything you could tell he hoped for more. “I mean should i remind you just how much i made you screa—“ your heart quickened as you knew what he was about to say “Shut up Jinyoung, finish that sentences and I’ll kill you.” He snorted, taking a step towards you. “If you could kill me y/n you would have done it before you ran away.”

You backed up, you needed to run. “You’re right, I would have Jinyoung, but honestly I was more concerned with getting the fuck away from you.” You were almost at the ladder, you couldn’t use it— no he would expect that from you. Just keep luring him on and then jump. I… but how do i keep him from getting in the house. I’ll...fuck I’ll have to run for the woods. “Why don’t you join me again huh darling? I treated you like a queen, gave you everything you could ever want. Not to mention i made you feel so…” you cut him off with a growl. “Don’t fucking act all sweet and innocent Jinyoung, you know what you put me through. I don’t give a fuck about anything you say.”

He seemed to stiffen slightly, eyes darkening as a deep growl left his lips. “What was that little omega? Talking back to your alpha? Your future mate?” At the word mate you felt your stomach churn, without a second of hesitation you jumped off the roof, landing into a roll before sprinting towards the woods. You knew the moment he growled the talking was over, an now with adrenaline pumping through you — you were more than ready to put up a fight.

You glanced behind you for a moment to make sure he was actually after you and you weren’t running like a fool through the woods. Sure enough he was after you, feet flying as he tried to catch up to you. You had an advantage though, you knew these woods like the back of your hand. You lunged over a fallen over tree and yelled as your foot slammed awkwardly unto the ground.

You fell forward but caught yourself and tried to keep going, pain shooting through your ankle as you did. Fuck I sprained it , of course. You moved faster, fighting through the pain as you sprinted for the river. You wanted to throw him off and have him lose your scent. If you could confuse him and get back to the house and wake Namjoon you’d be okay.

You could hear the river in the distance and pushed yourself harder, you could hear him behind you now, his breath ragged as a growl seemed to constantly try to rip from his throat. You waited for the right moment before veering off in a sharp left, leaving Jinyoung to plow forward and giving you plenty of time to put more distance between the two of you. You were almost by the rivers shore when you dove, sliding ungracefully down the bank and into the water.

You submerged yourself completely and moved down the river slowly. You kept your eyes and nose about the water and scanned the area for him. Within fifteen seconds he came running, skidding to a halt by the banks and searching around frantically. You held yourself still — careful not to make any movement or noise. “Damnit!” His voice echoes through the forest and you suppressed the shutter that almost left you.

You watched him prowl up and down the river bank, you kept yourself closer to the opposite shore, eyes trained on his form. He was radiating anger and it terrified you. Had it not been for the water around you he probably would have caught your scent. “I know you’re out there y/n, I know you can hear me. I’ll be back for you darling. Trust me.”

You watched him stalk off into the woods again and didn’t move. You were frozen — literally and figuratively— you weren’t willing to move. You had no way to contact Namjoon and you were convinced he was still lurking someone amongst the trees. You moved slowly towards the other bank, slowly bringing yourself out of the water. You couldn’t smell him at all, and couldn’t pick up on any movement either.

You made it to the banks of the river and collapsed — pain shooting up your leg as you finally remembered your sprained ankle. You looked down and saw that it was swelling a little, the cold water probably helping — but now that you were walking on it the irritation began to spring forth. “God damnit, what am I going to do? Walking on this will only make it worse.”

You thought for a moment, eyes moving rapidly to make sure he wasn’t around. After you were sure you struggled to get up, balancing all pressure on one foot as you hobbled towards the trees. You couldn’t even make it far. You fell again, this time slicing open your palm on a jagged rock. That’s when the tears came, you flopped down on your back.

Tears falling freely as you stared up at the stars. “This has to be some fucking nightmare. This has to be a joke — I’m dreaming , I’m dreaming I’m—“ your own tears stopped you as you cried harder. You felt hopeless— “maybe it would be better if he did take me — at least I wouldn’t be bleeding and in pain.”

You weren’t sure if it was because of the Adrenaline wearing off, or the pain in your ankle. Hell maybe it was the blood loss. But you started to feel yourself slipping away— your vision darkening until nothing was left.

[thebritishblabbermouth]

Jungkook Fanfiction- BTS Mafia AU

Heyya :))

@atricksterwithwings requested a beautiful BTS mafia au, and I loved writing this for her. I’ve split it into three parts. Scroll down for the first and for the link to the latter. 

A/N: I’ve mentioned Zhang Yixing in this fanfiction aside from the other BTS members. Its totally okay if you dont know who he is...although you probably do, he’s like such a popular sheep ;) Find information about him here . 

Tell me your thoughts on this fanfic, Id love to receive any sort of feedback on my work and I totally think that likes and reblogs are recognition too :) Have fun reading, I know I really enjoyed writing this :) Its like 12 pages long on a word doc...idek anymore xP Jungkook is gorgeous. :) 

Also...there is cursing in this, mention of the mafia from different nationalities and part two and three are rated M (its smutty xP) Reader discretion is advised if any of these things bother you. 

Lots of love :) <3 - Enjoy :)  

PART 2

PART 3 (final)

1.

Jeon Jungkook stood at the 77th floor of Euphoria, the headquarters to the largest crime syndicate east of the Pacific Ocean. The height was dizzying for most, but not for him.

Jungkook had no fears; or so was assumed.

The man himself, was built at an impressive 6 feet and constituted of raw muscle, protein and a rather cynical approach towards life. Outwardly, the leader of the most legal crime syndicate was cold, intimidating and the type to burn you to ashes with a glare from his heated eyes.

Inwardly, he was exactly the same.

He was well aware of the effect he had on his employees, men and women who knew exactly of his affiliation with the Japanese Yazuka and the Italian Camorra yet pined to work under Jeon, the sheer power of his company bringing everyone to their knees with respect.

Euphoria was a giant.

It had dealings with government run telemarketing firms, banks, real estate agencies, alongside finance and technology markets. An easy way to convert money earned through extortion, gambling and trafficking to its pure and pristine form. The corrupt politicians whose elections he had funded didn’t complain. No one cared where the money came from and no one dared to ask otherwise. The cause of the founder’s formidable aura wasn’t a secret. Everyone knew how he had been tortured by his father, abandoned on the streets by a mother who seemed to love Heroin more than her own son. The story had been plastered all over the internet, and Jungkook would never deny reading through its many exaggerated versions. They were entertaining and did well to remind himself about how important money and power were, without those weapons, he too would be sitting in a room, writing about a life that belonged to someone else.

Materialism was reality and wealth- it’s currency.

~~~~~~~~~~~

‘’Sir, your coffee…’’ you said, walking through the office doors, a skip in your stride. There was no knock. No hint of awkwardness, no aspect of fear in the way she spoke. If anything there was the undertone of coercion, almost coaxing the man to leave his billion dollar thoughts in the gutter and focus solely on the warm drink.

Your playful extortion had worked, he was focused. Just not on the coffee.

Three months ago, Euphoria had issued an internal opportunity- PA to Jeon Jungkook. The post received 3 applications from his 20,000 employees. Min Yoongi, his chief of finance and operations took to appointing the least qualified of the bunch, a woman- aged a mere 22 years. The pitch to his ever frightening boss had been simple. ‘’You’ve let down 30 men in the last 6 months. I am done handling my job as well your shit. Those Harvard lunatics are too busy tending to their stupid resumes and I don’t have time for the garbage they throw at me when you fire their sorry arses. You’re settling with the woman, she’s got sick parents to feed- she won’t give a damn for ego as long as you pay her on time.’’

Jungkook could only snarl at the curses, the audacity of the man to speak in the way he did. Anyone else and they’d be lying in a pool of their own blood within seconds of the first word spoken against him. But Min Yoongi couldn’t be touched and this was a fact.

Jeon Jungkook was putty in the hands of his elder brother.

Today, he sent thanks to his sibling, for his aggressive outburst and daunting approach. You were priceless and the best decision ever- professionally of course.

He gave no reply to your request, not even a glance spared in your direction as your placed the drink onto his desk. There were just a series of footsteps, the man walking over to his maple work table, ready to do as he was told.

You had no idea of the prerogatives you held, and at that point, neither did him. The slight tease in your voice had mellowed down completely- replaced with the air of innocence and obeisance. Jungkook groaned at the sight. 

‘’So I was thinking…it’s Christmas Eve tomorrow…and well…’’ you said... Shuffling your buckled black heels.

‘’You aren’t leaving early.’’

His abrupt command had no thought behind it. Other than the fact he couldn’t let you out of his sight for more than a few hours, often paging you unnecessarily just to make you think of him.

He doubted you ever would if he didn’t.

‘’I am not…my parents are flying in tomorrow…it’s a small get together at my place with a few colleagues. I figured since you didn’t have anything planned…you could join us?’’  

Your apprehensive feet clicked across the hardwood with anticipation, the weightlessness behind your request holding the air in a trance.

‘’You’re my personal assistant, not event manager. You do not handle my private affairs so don’t think for a second that I care about your stupid Christmas dinner or the family I saved from crumbling.’’

It wasn’t what he had intended to say. Rather, his mind had flourished a thought he needed to keep locked away. He wanted to tell you that he’d love to join your family, share potato salad and amusing anecdotes across the table... All the while pressing his hand into your thigh- a subtle promise of sinful satisfaction later that night. But he wouldn’t dare to voice his feelings. You didn’t need to get involved with his shit, the scars that graced his back or the life full of gluttony and gambles he had chosen to lead. It was compulsion, to remind you every second of every day that the apartment which he bestowed upon you just 3 floors below his office- was a gracious boon, a gift given to improve your petty life. You had to be reminded of your father and how had been released from Jail after almost overdosing on the crack he had envisioned to peddle. Jeon Jungkook had to remind you of how ugly your tear stained face looked as you begged on your knees- begged for him to save your family.

There was simply no other way.

If you weren’t reminded, you’d crawl your way into his heart and sit there- encasing it completely.

He was just a damned moth to your flame.

‘’I know…and I am trying…I am trying to repay you. Please. Come over. I won’t waste your time.’’ You said. The words articulated with a purpose, were laced with meaningful sorrow but you couldn’t help the small smile that graced your lips.

He hadn’t declined.

Jungkook noticed how your full lips turned upwards, noticed how you had bent your head downwards, trying to hide your amusement. He knew he hadn’t said no, he knew inside the pits of his soul that was going to attend. Your reaction publicised his private notions completely.

It wasn’t hard to hate you.

Rather, it was the easiest thing in the world. His life had been built upon layers of lies, fear, judgement and mistrust. You tore everything apart with one look. He despised the hold you had over him, envied your purity and tried his best to tarnish it with his own two hands. Even if it meant burning your entire persona to ashes. He was well aware of the impact his audacious remarks on your large heart, knew just how much you wished to throw your small fists at his chest in rebuttal- he could see it in your eyes. But he knew you’d never break.

‘’Get out. I don’t have time for you.’’

Fuck.

Why couldn’t he just say no?

Probably because the thought of abjuration had never once crossed his mind.

~~~~~~~~~~~

11 pm saw him standing at your door, a bouquet of Lilly’s in his hand. The flowers had almost wilted away. What the hell was he doing? Why was he even here? There was no noise from behind the oakwood and why would there be?

Your offer had been for dinner, not a midnight snack.

He wasn’t going to come, prove you wrong and act smug about the ordeal. However he had shown up, at 7 pm, flowers fresh and suit prim. Ready to tap onto the door and shimmy himself into you…your apartment. But his confidence dropped as he heard your laughter, it was beautiful, natural and something he had never experienced before.

Jeon Jungkook had never made you laugh, but had every thought of hearing you scream.

It wouldn’t have mattered to him if you were any other woman, but the lack of knowledge frightened him, made him think there would be another man who would have the pleasure of witnessing both sounds.

Every. Single. Day.

His heart beat erratically, edging him into a state of worry and insanity. What the fuck was wrong with him? It would be a complete lie if he said he hadn’t just stood in front of your door for 3 hours, praying he didn’t hear sounds of men. The silence at 11 pm provided comfort and he walked away, only after dropping the Lilly’s inside the vase at your desk.

You had been pleasantly surprised the next day, and you knew exactly who they were from. The flowers- drained from their pretty colour -were beautiful nonetheless and you couldn’t help but run your hands over their soft petals.

They were perfect- just like him.

 ~~~~~~~~~~

2.

‘’See that guy over there…he’s checking you out hon.’’ Lisa, the American-Chinese intern, stirred her tea at an exceedingly sluggish pace. Her eyes were glued onto the 27 year old accountant who stood in the corner of the room, photocopying his work and humming to himself. She’d been a temporary employee at Euphoria Inc. for a bare 3 weeks but had done well to pair 4 couples with her self-praised matchmaking skills.

3 of said relationships had broken up within 24 hours. And thus, It was only natural that her impeccable track record attracted many an employee to her small cubicle, ready for her to set them up with dates and one night stands.

It seemed that you were her next target.

You sighed and turned to look at Jamie. He was tall, considerably well-built and had this collegiate boyish charm to his appeal, his long-slightly raven locks sat faultlessly over his glasses.

The image was so immaculate it made you uncomfortable.

I

However in your opinion, the man on the 77th floor was nothing short of perfection. His ruffled hair didn’t need to be waxed and placed as it were; it fell naturally and it made you want to run your hands through it. His rugged and damaged personality sheltered his otherwise kind heart and you saw right through the vile facade. You didn’t hope for him to change. Didn’t hope for him to suddenly become a goofy cheeky soul; the kind who would sit and chat with his workers.

You loved the man as he was. A little broken but a hell of a lot confident.

‘’Lisa…I don’t really want to date him…’’ You mumbled, eagerly emptying coffee beans into the machine.

She laughed at your reply and peeled her eyes away from the man. ‘’Who said anything about dating love? I just said he was checking you out.’’

It was hard not to grimace at her words but as crude as they were you had to smile politely. Offices were run on brutal honesty and cut throat depositions. There was no room for pleasantries or hospitality and any that appeared were a courteous formality. You hurried in your steps and brewed the concoction with ease. It was 8 am and he required his morning fix, even though he never actually asked you to prepare it. You had just finished placing his black on the tray and had turned around to deliver it when a firm body crashed into yours, spilling the brew all over your clothes and the floor. The heat burned through your blouse and scorched your skin, it had been hard to not curse at the pain but you dealt through it, eyes shut tight in response.

‘’Oh my gosh! I am so sorry!’’ said the voice. It was a man, sharply handsome, his cheekbones were protruding and you were sure his skin glowed. It didn’t take long to recognise him.

Kim Taehyung.

He had been a prospective fiancé, from a year ago.

From a time when you had no viable job, no future and the money the Kim Family offered in exchange for your hand in matrimony, had been a welcome surprise to your household. They were staunchly against same sex marriages and Park Jimin had been banned from their home with immediate effect. The marijuana had inflected your otherwise gentle father and he had agreed in seconds to the proposal, not once considering your opinion. You had declined Taehyung in private, and he had hugged you in thanks. The man was humble and docile in more ways than one, and his heart had been taken years ago- by none other, than his childhood piano teacher. There was no way Taehyung would’ve agreed.  

‘’Tae!’’ You screamed, surprised yet elated at the discovery.

‘’Hey there fiancé. Glad to know you remember me…but really, why do we always meet in the worst of situations.’’ He walked over to the counter as he spoke, grabbing up as many napkins as he could find. His gentle hands took to patting at your chest, handing you the tissues while doing so and it didn’t take long for to dry up your blouse.

‘’I thought you’d be more respectful than that. Letting your fiancé walk into my building and displaying yourself open for the man. Tch Tch…I guess a lowlife is always a low life no matter what her circumstance.’’ Jeon Jungkook stood against the door, leaning onto it with a posture that screamed indifference. But in all reality, Jungkook was seething.

The small Glock tucked into his suit was ready to fire and destroy Kim Taehyung and maybe even leave a flesh wound inside Jamie the accountant.

However in that minute, his primal desire had been to destroy you. How dare you hide the news of your engagement? How dare you wear that damned pastel pink blouse to work, and let another man touch you so unabashedly? How dare you smile when you saw your betrothed? He hated you for everything.

And he hated himself for falling for you.

‘’And who the hell is this Joker?’’ Taehyung turned around to look at Jeon, the tissues in his hand soiled from the spillage. He had been invited to the corporation by Min Yoongi, a dear friend who had promised him help with TaeMin Designs, an upcoming entrepreneurial, founded by his beautiful husband. It didn’t occur to him that he’d meet you, but he was pleased that he had.

You were wonderful.

If it hadn’t been for your confidence, he would have never proposed to Jimin, never left his awful family and never been as happy as he was now. He owed you his life and his prosperity.

‘’Tae…he’s my boss. I’ll talk to you later. Please. I’ll call you hmm?’’ you tried your best to nip the fight in the bud. Taehyung was cool headed but an agitated version of the man could lead to the emergence of fists and blood. You were lucky he understood your pleas, and he grunted towards Jungkook while exiting the room, the daggers leaving his eyes were filled with venom and anger.

‘’I’d like you to pay attention to your job. Not to every single man out there. Why don’t you just do as you’re told? I don’t care what you do and who you do it with when you’re out of here.’’ Jungkook straightened himself against the wall and pocketed his hands. He told himself he enjoyed watching your eyes brim, told himself that his anger was justified. But god knows how much he wanted to cradle you and whisper apologies until you were forced to believe them.

‘’Let’s keep your sluttish acts away from the office hmm?’’

It was a harsh blow, enough to cause the first tear to slip from their confines. Why did he have to behave like that?

Why did you have to love him regardless of the way he did? 

~~~~~~~

3.  

‘’How long is it going to take you leave? It’s pretty simple. Take the bag to KM Constructions, drop it there and leave. What’s so hard? '' Jungkook’s anger had sky rocketed ever since the incidence in the cafeteria and he didn’t even understand why he was asking you to be a bag drop. Never once in a career spanning 6 years had he ever made a woman a part of a deal. But it seemed that you were an exception with everything.

‘’I am just leaving Sir.’’ You said, buttoning up the grey pea coat.

He noticed how inappropriately dressed you were, how feminine and vulnerable. He knew how lecherous men could be, knew it wasn’t safe. But annoyance clouded his senses and he threw the thoughts away. It was simple enough, no interactions. You’d be fine.

If only he knew.

Part 2

Part 3 

[justalittlemango]

30/01/2021 - Stress and Anxiety.

Been a while since I posted on this blog in particular. I usually use my private Twitter to vent but I feel this may be best written in one entire post.

I guess this is going to be an appreciation post, for myself.

I am constantly stressing and worrying about things I’ve done in the past, how people view me, and then other such issues like money, creating and adding to my portfolio, finding jobs for my placement year, university grades, coursework, my side hobbies like learning a language and working out. I worry about these things a lot. It’s a lot to maintain in my daily life.. and then there’s my biggest worry and cause of stress: my boyfriend and love.

More recently I’ve been stressed because of my sleep habits. I seem to keep waking up for no utter reason. Feeling very tired. Feeling like I’m choking on air or something? Maybe I have sleep apnea? Who knows. I haven’t been diagnosed or anything.

Some friends I’ve spoken to have said they are really proud of me for how I’m handling all these worries and stress. Especially considering I’ve been ditched by my boyfriend with no closure whatsoever, just constantly wondering if he even still wants to be in a relationship with me or not... and it’s been like that for over a month now. He won’t give me closure. He keeps disappearing, and I’m not sure why.

At this point I can’t afford to waste my energy thinking about him. Like, sure, last year I fell in love with that boy. I thought he was amazing. Sweet. Funny. Cute. Adorable. Heart of gold. And at times in 2020, he hurt me, and it happened a final time over the Christmas period that I’m still reeling over. He made a remark about something I had a legit anxiety attack over in a public server, and of course I exploded at him for doing that. The alcohol probably didn’t help. I told him ‘my friends used to tell me I deserve better, and I never used to believe it, but now I do.’ - and that’s what I said that seemingly caused his long absence. He was put on new meds and has stopped taking them.. apparently.. I can’t really trust anything he says.

I guess it’s not the end of the world if him and I don’t work out, but I just need to know the answer sooner rather than later. Sometimes I wish I could just call an end to it myself. But anyway, enough about him, he doesn’t deserve my energy after what he put me through. He is a sweetheart and I love him, but this is not going to be something I’ll find forgiving when he returns. Anyway, plenty more cuties out there who I will meet. Loyal ones. A real lad. One who can communicate rather than run away and ignore me.

Anyway.. about me. 2020 was not a perfect year for me. I made quite a few mistakes. I broke up with my ex-boyfriend of almost 5 years, which was huge for me. That took a crazy amount of courage. And I feel that.. the circumstances were unfortunate, but I’m proud of myself for making that decision and genuinely believe it was for the best. As does he now that some time has passed. I fell in love with my current boyfriend and all things was okay for a bit. Until he ditched me because I wanted to play with these new friends. Deleted me. Blocked me everywhere. Abandoned me. And then complains when someone out of the blue comes around and comforts me and treats me right. Yknow, for a long time I used to feel super bad about that.. because it hurt my current boyfriend.. but that was him trying to guilt trip me I swear. He broke up with me. Of course I was going to go with someone. Just I happened to do it quickly.

I got my karma though. The one who was comforting me was not for me. I couldn’t feel genuine emotions for him, I didn’t love him. So after 3 months or so, we split up and ended all communication. That was a move I was dreading for a very long time, so I’m very proud of myself for coughing up the courage to be able to not let it drag on. I wish I stuck to what I said with him though, that I was going to remain single for a while so I get my head straight.. heh.. if I did that, I wouldn’t be feeling so hurt and stressed out right now! I’d be a lot better I imagine.

So yes, after all that, it felt shit for a while. I felt so lonely. Didn’t have many friends. My ex had his bf (now ex-bf) in his room quite often and I would hear and see them having fun. No jealousy in me really.. just felt strange. Like how quickly things can change in a year. I’m proud of myself for getting through that time period where I really felt like I was on my own. I got through it, albeit with the assistance of alcohol and a good friend of mine that I know online.

2020 was the year I cracked my group chat anxiety. I used to be scared to play games and participate in voice chats with my friends online because I would have really bad anxiety. But now I enjoy doing it so much. And I genuinely feel like this has had a great benefit of how I will be in real life too. I am yet to put it to the test! But that is one of the greatest things i’m proud of. I pushed myself out of my comfort zone to do all that. Most times at the start with the assistance of alcohol, but more recently, no alcohol needed. I am anxious for a few mins, and then I start to mellow out.

More recently I’ve made a lot more friends and tried to put a lot more effort in. And I feel this is something I should be proud of. Even at rock bottom, I still am determined to fix things. That’s one thing I’ll praise myself on: persistence and dedication. 

I’ve learnt so much about love, emotions and relationships the past year. I feel that as much as this all hurt me, I will be a better man as a result of all this. I have more experience now. I know what to do next time. I know how to avoid being hurt. I’m proud that I am keeping up with my university work and portfolio stuff, my workouts and Spanish work also, despite all this going on. Despite barely sleeping recently because of my anxiety and stress. I am proud that I still know what’s important and I’m trying to maintain my composure.

2021 then.. going to be a great year. I feel it. Starting off a bit rocky.. but I need to see what happens with my current lad. Most likely end up breaking it off. And tbh, I don’t think I’ll need much preparation for that. I’m going to try new things. Experiment. I might try a dating app at some point in the summer... see about getting a placement for next year and have a great time next year. My family is in good health. I am in good health for the most part.. I have gained quite a few friends and some are doing a great job at looking after me. 

Things are good. I am letting a 27 year old man, who is acting like a 12 year old, make me feel like shit. Like no. I can’t let him dominate my mind like this. I deserve better than that. I must make it a challenge to NOT think about him so much in the night time when trying to sleep. He’s probably the reason why I can’t even sleep well. So, it’s February in a couple days. Lets leave all that shit behind in January. No more thinking about him so much in the nights. No more losing countless hours of sleep. More enjoying the present moment. More stepping outside my comfort zone. Spending time with friends and family. That’s whats important. Making memories. Having fun. No stress or anxiety, just good vibes.

I shouldn’t worry about money either. That’s all sorted. I most likely am not going to the US now so I can use that money if I struggle. But I’m spending wisely right now. So I will be good! I got some good games that I need to keep playing. Friends I enjoy playing with. Living in my parents house having a good time. Portfolio work will come along smoothly, there is no rush! Same with the coursework, there is no rush! It’s all such early days, and extensions are there for a reason! I don’t want to compare myself to anyone now. Especially not my ex. I need to leave all these unhealthy habits behind in January, so Feb and the months onwards can be better.

[blushingjiminie-blog]

sinners go to hell-yoonmin (part one)

(a/n: i haven't written a full fledged story in so, so, so long, so please don't mind the errors). pairing: yoonmin (badboy!yoongi x soft!jimin) (random other characters dating along the way, for no particular reason other than !!!) warnings: n/a, soon to be in following chapters. - park jimin was a pretty boy, he wore pretty jumpers, tight jeans that curved with his muscle and his hair was every colour under the sun at any given moment. he spent his days listening to soft music, gathering the notes in his mind and airing them out in soft hums. he loved many things, sunshine, small animals, lip balm, sweaters, and most importantly- min yoongi. min yoongi wasn't a reputable learner at the local community college they both attended. his black hair pushed over his eyes that seemed to be poised in a permanent glare, his lips parted constantly revealing the glint of metal that was obviously a smiley piercing. a few tattoos littered his skin, contrasting beautifully with the milky white complexion. he wore leather jackets, tight jeans, black tshirts, black, on black, on black. apparently he was apart of an underground rap group, bangtan, or something or rather- jimin stayed clear of rumour. but the thought min yoongi splurtting rhymes made the younger boy feel some sorta way- no negatives at all. there was one issue, however. as jimin gazed at yoongi, it hit him like a pang in his chest. min yoongi despised park jimin, with every fibre of his being. he was annoyed by jimin, he was distraught by his presence. yoongi would never tell, but it wasn't because he hated the younger boy. he strongly enjoyed his existence, thank you very much. but he didn't enjoy the light butterflies that filled his stomach when jimin licked his lips, or when he danced at the school's local ballet class. yoongi didn't like the feeling of adoration- so he replaced it with hatred. and that was how the story began. jimin walked to his first class, literature. the one class he felt safe in. the lecture room smelt of aged leather bound books, and he melted into his seat, gripping his coffee tightly as he mumbled hello to the old professor. a tall, silver haired man fell into the seat beside him, giving jimin a dimpled grin. piercings littered his face like graves do a graveyard, septum, snakebites, tongue- you name it, it was filled or left for the imagination with a scar. he was kim namjoon- star english student with a reputation for not being present to uphold this title. he was far too smart for the class, and he knew it too. namjoon was grinning at the younger boy, checking him out without a single ounce of shame. jimin gazed at his figure, that was bound in a white tshirt, blue bomber jacket and tight black jeans. he felt cute, and an attractive man checking him out didn't hurt his confidence one small bit. jimin blushed with the radiance of a very ripe tomato, laughing as namjoon pulled a funny face. 'hey sweet cheeks, wanna hang out tonight? you're too adorable to spend it without someone by your side.' namjoon's words went straight to jimin's cheeks, making him blush more than ever. he cleared his throat, giggling slightly. 'of course, namjoon oppa!' jimin had a slight issue with calling older, taller males oppa. it wasn't something he planned on stopping- he never considered it an issue. and neither did kim namjoon, as he bite back a lip bite as the younger boy moved closer to hear the older better. 'call me that tonight sweetcheeks,' he slipped jimin his number on a piece of paper- a torn page of pride and prejudice, and clicked his tongue 'or we'll be having some issues. focus on class, now. wouldn't wanna have to tutor you.' jimin feebly smiled and turned forward, still flushed, still grinning happily as he listened to the class. jimin had organised with joon to meet outside of his dorms at 6:30- it was currently 6 and jimin was zipping up the fly of his favourite ripped white jeans. he threw on a pink sweater, that covered his hands adorably and applied lip balm because fuck, man. lip balm is so important. he shoved his feet into his connies and strides down the hall, his jumper slipping off one shoulder and revealing a collar bone that jutted out a little too much from strain and a nervous habit of not eating. jimin didn't bother to move this display, hoping he'd come across as sexily disheveled and not 'messy whore that just fucked someone and threw their clothes on quickly before leaving.' the latter would come in handy for jealousy- but jimin didn't want joon to be jealous. he felt like the sort of guy you wouldn't want jealous. jimin gasped as joon waited for him, lollipop between his lips as he rolled a cigarette between his long fingers. he wore a white button up, undone at the top for the wow factor, and tight black jeans that accentuated just what jimin wanted. his tims were tied perfectly, and his silver hair was slicked back under a beanie. fuck, what an attractive man. but not nearly attractive as yoongi. jimin pushed the heartbreaker from his mind, racing down the stairs towards the older man. he reached him, and cleared his throat. 'namjoon!' he greeted, swearing nervously as the older man studied his figure. he tutted with disapproval. 'that is is oppa to you, park jimin.' jimin nodded, smiling that fucking adorable smile that got him whatever he wanted. 'sorry, you sure do look lovely tonight though.' namjoon grinned, pinching jimin's cheeks. 'so do you, sweetcheeks.' they had been in the car for about ten minutes when namjoon pulled to a halt, right in front of a stingy looking nightclub. it was seemingly abandoned, and for a moment, jimin worried what the older man's intentions were. namjoon sighed, holding jimin's hand. 'nothing's gonna hurt you, sweet cheeks. you ever been to a rap battle?' jimin's eyes widened, as he shook his head. he felt embarrassed, growing up so sheltered, never leaving the house unless it was for school or to buy groceries for his mother. namjoon smiled heartily, his husky laugh ringing out. he opened the door, and led jimin inside. 'well, ill be your first, i suppose, sweetcheeks.' park jimin looked around, the room separated by an invisible line. there was one group, and jimin recognised the boys immediately. jackson wang, a graduate, brian kang, a muso who dropped out to produce his own mixtape. park chan-yeol, a medical student. jimin turned to the other side and blanked. there was min yoongi, the boy that had treated him like dirt, hurt him so many times, yet he chose to love. yoongi, the boy who never smiled, only once ever even seeming happy when jimin said he'd stop bothering him. yoongi, dressed in all black, licking his lips. yoongi- who was staring right at him. jimin avoided eye contact, upset and hurt by the rejection yoongi had thrown his way. he reverted back to the other members, jung hoseok, a dance teacher, jeon jungkook, a roughie who showed up to class on average once a month. jimin came back to life when namjoon gripped him protectively and lead him to yoongi's side. jimin felt sick, he couldn't breathe, couldn't breathe. it hurt his chest as he realised he'd be sat with min yoongi, who would throw insults his way until he bled. namjoon introduced the younger boy, and yoongi scowled- the others grinned, laughing at jimin's seemingly shy nature. 'you invited this princess here? pathetic, namjoon. just fuck him and dump him, but please, leave the club for rappers. not pretty dancer boys like park.' namjoon glared at yoongi, holding jimin to his chest. jimin didn't react, nodding numbly. he shouldn't be here. namjoon realised the extent of yoongi's dismissal. this had been a plan, namjoon thought. make yoongi jealous, make him realise jimin is a good kid worth his love. but yoongi was too fucking cold, and joon felt a pang of guilt. 'shut up, yoongi. you're the one who fucked a guy behind the toilets. now, get in postition. and sweetcheeks?' namjoon murmured at jimin, who looked disorientated- jimin nods back slowly, 'please take a seat.' jimin nods happily, letting go of namjoon's hands. 'are you a rapper, oppa?' jimin gazes up at the tall man, the tall, pretty man who seemed to care about him deeply- whether romantically or platonically. namjoon smiled softly. 'you just wait and see, baby.' two lines in and jimin was hooked, the way namjoon wrapped his tongue around the words like he was a painter with a brush. it was beautiful, the fast fiery throngs of words that spread through the room as namjoon threw colourful insults and jackson. jackson was a tall guy, all sultry, handsome and dark. jimin liked that, he thought to himself. yoongi was far from his mind at this point. that crush had been put to bed about a week ago, and he felt happy about it. until now. yoongi stepped up, cleared his throat, as he pushed towards brian. brian was hot, jimin must admit. he had that boyish charm that made you feel funny when he smiled. he seemed like boyfriend material- until, of course, he rapped. it was hot, and dirty and jimin wanted to cry as he realised he was blushing at brian's dirty words. yoongi laughed, and jimin suddenly forgot brian, jackson, namjoon, the whole fucking room. he cleared his throat, once more, and stepped on his mark. god, jimin felt things when yoongi rapped. it was raspy, harsh, disgustingly sinful. the way he moved as he rapped was just as dirty, slow movings of his hands as he shot insult after insult at brian. jimin felt his heart race rise when yoongi looked at him, almost- almost smiling. it dropped immediately, but it made jimin happy, even for just a moment. yoongi dropped the line, stepping back. the other two, hobi and jungkook were just as good, taking on chanyeol on his own, as apparently their final member had left. namjoon would later explain that he'd done something rather hurtful to brian, and they'd let him go. jimin was smiling, as the two groups dropped the harsh exterior and grinned at each other, fist bumping and mumbling incoherent praises- this was local competition, always friendly, nothing like the big battles they'd yet to see. it was practice, and good fun, too. jimin enjoyed seeing all the sweaty men making contact with each other- he was very gay, so you can't really blame him. namjoon moved towards jimin, picking him up and holding him on his shoulders. 'oppa, please put me down. please- i might be too-' yoongi heard the word oppa leave jimin's mouth and he snapped, jealousy quaking in his heart. 'namjoon, put him down. he's probably too heavy.' jimin immediately kicked himself down, and turned on the spot, abandoning the building. his heart felt like a weight rather than a necessity, yoongi's words hitting him like a bag of bricks. he slumped against a wall, head in hands as he fell to the ground, sobbing softly. stupid min yoongi, stupid, handsome, min yoongi. stupid min yoongi that made his way into jimin's life at 3 pm on a sunday, after he moved into his dorm and realised his next door neighbour was hot, and seemed friendly. stupid min yoongi that wasn't friendly, that was cold and pushed jimin away without a chance. stupid min yoongi that never gave jimin a reason to love him, yet knew the boy devoted himself to him anyway. stupid min yoongi that couldn't admit to himself that love was okay. stupid fucking min yoongi

[reesesxxpieces-blog]

Spencer James

Lacey Sheridan

The hour was dark but it was the only quiet she had gotten today. With Hicks and Brooke on the road and working and Rori being so pregnant, Lacey had a full house for the time being. The normal routine was the girls went with Hicks for part of the week and it was just one kid in the house but now they were dealing with all three at once. Lacey wasn't complaining about spending extra time, she was just exhausted doing it all on her own and working. With everyone asleep, she was finally able to sit down and answer emails for work and personal ones. Sifting through some clients and the large thread she had with Brooke keeping her updated of day to day occurrences, she spotted a name she hadn't seen in a long time. Spencer James was a woman she would never forget. The pair met under the most dramatic of circumstances but it forged an everlasting bond. Without Spence, Lacey wouldn't exist and vice verse after that one horrible night.

Reading through what she had been up to left her curious but relieved that she was settling into something resembling a normal life. The brunette female definitely had a story to tell so the normalcy of wife and motherhood was probably a welcomed relief. Hitting the reply button, she began to type.

To: spencer.james@gmail.com

Cc:

Subject: Re: I suck at saying hi.

She lives! Haha I know you're busy so I'll save you the nagging Mom act. I'm so glad to hear things are going so well. Honestly, if finances permit it? Stay home. Motherhood is a job in itself and far more rewarding than walking any beat as a cop. You shape little lives and get the 100% assurance of coming home at night. I worry about you, you know this. So all of what I just said comes from a loving place.

I'm okay. Busy as hell with all of my other coparents and wife doing their own thing. Hicks has been on the road for weeks, Rori is a high risk pregnancy and Brooke has been working non-stop on Scorpion. A business and three kids 24/7 may just kill me, haha but I'm living. I'm lonely as hell, I hate admitting it but I just wish I wasn't stuck in a really long episode of Lace plus 8 on loop. I need a break but admitting that makes me feel like a bad mother. Sigh. I won't bore you with my inner workings.

Please keep in touch. It's nice to know you're alive and kicking more than once a month.

Love, Lacey.

Spencer James

The day was long with two kids under two, but Spencer absolutely loved it just the same.  She wasn’t sure if she could possibly bring herself to return to working full time, though she knew the time to make that choice was quickly approaching.  She’d been a cop for as long as she could remember and when she wasn’t, she was dreaming about being a cop.  It was all she’d ever wanted and even if she did fuck it up at every turn, tarnish coating her badge the way it did at her own hand, there was a part of her that wanted to fly right.  She hadn’t meant to get so far away from it all, but she had.  Yet now there was a lot more on the line than just her reputation.  There were two little boys that relied on her just as much as they did their father, and yet both Spencer and John could not issue assurances that they’d come home every night.  The thoughts weighed heavy on the woman as she had maintained this lifestyle now for eight long months while her name was tossed around as a potential accomplice in the stabbing of her husband at her father’s hand.  Spencer had nothing to worry about as she knew she hadn’t been involved this time, though it didn’t mean she wasn’t unnerved by what else they might find if they dug too deep.  There was soot on her badge and blood on her hands, both of which had to stay under wraps if she wanted to see her boys grow up.

Late the next night, she woke up to River calling out in his bed just as he had the night before.  Always calling for John, but yet this time she’d be the one to get him.  Bringing the two year old downstairs, she turned on Paw Patrol on the downstairs television to let the little guy watch his show for a few minutes while she lifted her phone to check through emails and what not while she tried to keep herself awake until Riv was ready to go back down.  There she’d find Lacey’s reply, far sooner than she’d expected to hear from her, yet it brought a smile to her features just the same.  De ja vu as she was emailing her at about the same time the night before, creating something of a habit of this.  She drew a deep breath at Lacey’s advice to put the badge down.  She should’ve known that would be what she’d suggest, and in truth Spencer knew that was probably the right thing to do, but she also had a placement within that department that helped keep her own husband out of jail from time to time and to her it was just as important, though she’d never confess that to another soul.

‘Cakes?’ the little boy asked, thinking it was after seven in the morning instead of the early 3:30.  “No, not yet, bud,” she returned, shaking her head as there was no way they were starting pancakes this early though it was his morning request each and every morning, one of the few words the toddler would actually say, though he wasn’t too sure he understood the ‘no’ he got in return.  Rather quickly, he’d go back to his Paw Patrol, thankfully as it might buy Spence another twenty minutes before he’d make the same request again and she could only hope by then he’d be all danced out.  Focusing back to the phone, she typed out her reply to the tune of the Paw Patrol theme song playing in the background.

Lacey Sheridan 

It was another day, another whirlwind for the blonde mother of three. The past week felt like a tornado for the dancer but somehow she kept afloat. She was coming off a mean hangover from the weekend at the Grammy’s and the 33 year old felt like she was running at half-speed. Today she spent the day at the park with her nephew and youngest son while the girls were off at school the two boys tired themselves into a nap in the midafternoon. They were four but still young at heart going out like lights leaving Lacey and her big house with the perfect amount of peace and quiet to cheat and check her e-mails like she said she wouldn’t do. Today was supposed to be relaxing but the work-house couldn’t help her compulsions. 

After handling a few work e-mails, she began to look through her personal ones. She answered the usual back and forth between Brooke and her throughout the day; the rundown with the kids, how she was, etc. Lacey sighed as she concluded the written reply to her wife wishing that Brooke would be home more but knowing it would never happen. Brooke spent a majority of her life tamed by the company of the men she kept, the newly successful actress was at her peak and uncaring how of anything else. She was finally independent. Part of Lacey understood, but a larger part of Lacey was bitter because once again she was less important than anything else. It was an internal battle of insecurity she consistently faced alone. Thank God for a therapist or else she would have gone nuts.

The blonde scrolled down through the rest of her e-mails; deleting ads, replying to other friends around the dance world before landing on Spencer’s. She couldn’t help but smile at the expeditious response from her dear friend. It was unusual for Spence but it was welcomed. Reading through her words, she sighed. Once again, the brunette had given her the validation she felt she didn’t deserve. Despite her being her own worst enemy, Lacey truly appreciated Spencer’s admiration and kind words. Even if they didn’t sink completely, they definitely made the difference. 

Hitting ‘reply’, Lacey began to type a response:

As long as you do that then that’s all I could ask. I know being a cop is a part of you just as much as John and those boys are, but sometimes you have to weigh your priorities and see what’s heavier on the heart.

You have no idea how much I appreciate you saying that. Most days I barely feel like I’m skating by with managing my own dance studio, two elementary school level kids’ schedules, and a rowdy four year old who only listens to his “Baby” as he calls Brooke. Lillian and Bella are 7 and 8 years old so for the most they entertain themselves. They are already so exposed to the back and forth, it’s second nature. With the exception of a few fights between sisters I have really great kids with them. My little guy Ryan is my handful. He’s got so much energy and he doesn’t know what to do with all of it. He’s really attached to Brooke and I honestly think he’s got some abandonment issues with her. She’s been working since he’s really young so he feels very needy with whatever little time he gets from her. For the most part it’s a system at works but of course there are kinks along the way.

I wish we could get alone time but with Brooke working Scorpion full-time and involved in press junkets and music, it’s impossible. It’s honestly fucking lonely but I’m dealing. I love her so it’s hard not to want to make things work. Eight years of up and down, up and down. I’d love to just standstill for once.

P.S. – Your sons are adorable. Here’s my rugrats:

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-February 6, 2017