#i think you may have sent this yesterday but i just saw it now 😭

[allmoshnobrain]

EPILOGUE TMRW!!!!

it's heartbreaker day, baby!!!

[dirtandspitoftheworld]

hii!!!!! it was me who sent the ask abt the music videos yesterday!!!! thank u so much for replying, i was this 🤏🏽 close to giving up on using marilyn mansons example in my project 😭😭😭😭😭😭😭

HI!!! I had fun doing this, I've actually never sat down and watched every single music video until now, there were a few i'd never watched! :)

this is LONG, there's 42 videos, to my knowledge.

TL;DR: There's actually extremely few satanic or occult symbols in any of Marilyn Manson's music videos. In fact, the only thing I saw was a couple inverted crosses in Tourniquet (which aren't even satanic! That's Saint Peter's cross!). Other than that, it's all Christian symbols and imagery. The only other symbol that appears consistently is Manson's own "Celebritarian" cross, which is a symbol of celebrity worship that he often criticizes. (Worth noting: it's an inverted form of the Patriarchal cross)

Comprehensive notes:

Spooky Kids/Portrait Of An American Family Era:

Get Your Gunn: Nothing, aside from Manson's goat head tattoo (left bicep). Anytime I say "nothing" from now on, i'm excluding his tattoos.

Lunchbox: One of the band's T-shirts at this time was a parody of the Salvation Army logo which said "The Satanic Army, and drummer "Sara Lee Lucas" (Frederick Streithorst Jr.) is wearing it.

Dope Hat: Nothing.

Sweet Dreams (Are Made Of This): at 3:10, Manson is wearing a 3-horned headpiece. May or may not mean anything.

Antichrist Superstar Era:

The Beautiful People: Nothing.

Tourniquet: There are a few inverted crosses on the walls, as well as some symbols that I THOUGHT were alchemical symbols, but I can't find them anywhere.

Cryptorchid: Nothing, though the video is reminiscent of the film "Begotten"

The Man That You Fear: Nothing Occult, but there's a clear parallel to the death of Christ, washing of feet, being walked through the desert and killed. The music video heavily references "The Lottery" by Shirley Jackson, as well. As a side note, Marilyn Manson is unbearably beautiful in this video.

Antichrist Superstar: I think you asked about this one specifically? Other than snakes and flies, which may possibly be associated with Lucifer and Beelzebub respectively, I don't see anything in the way of satanic or occult symbols.

Apple Of Sodom: Nothing. Medical stuff again.

Long Hard Road Out Of Hell: Christian imagery, both visually and in the lyrics. Manson is shown as both Mary and Jesus. And naked! Again, he's VERY pretty in this video. If this video doesn't trans your gender, nothing will. There's a secret alternate version where he's covered with blood.

Mechanical Animals Era:

The Dope Show: Nothing.

I Don't Like The Drugs (But The Drugs Like Me): Manson is crucified on a cross made of CRT TVs, and drags it around on his back.

Coma White: Crosses and Christian idols can be seen throughout. He's crucified on a wooden cross this time.

Holy Wood Era:

Disposable Teens: Manson is dressed as a pope for much of the video. There's other Christian imagery. He's also shown rising out of water, which could POSSIBLY be connected to Revelation 13:1 (And I stood upon the sand of the sea. And I saw a beast rising from the sea...) BUT he doesn't have horns, so it could just be a cool image that means nothing.

Fight Song: Nothing.

The Nobodies: He has horns again.

Tainted Love: Nothing.

Golden Age Of Grotesque Era:

mOBSCENE: Nothing.

This Is The New Shit: Nothing.

(s)AINT: Nothing. But there's so much explicit nudity that i'm surprised this video is on youtube. There's pussy eating in this video!!!!!! i maybe saw a sliver of cock too. can't be sure.

Personal Jesus: Manson has bandaged stigmata on his palms, and there's some sexy nuns. This video has one of my favorite makeup looks of all time.

Eat Me, Drink Me Era:

Heart-Shaped Glasses: Nothing.

Putting Holes In Happiness: Nothing.

High End Of Low Era:

Arma-Goddamn-Motherfuckin-Geddon: Nothing.

Born Villain Era:

Overneath The Path Of Misery: Two women have their heads shaved, seemingly in a ritualistic fashion. There's some images of christ on the cross, and a burning cross. Again, a lot of sexual imagery that i'm surprised is allowed on youtube uncensored.

Hey, Cruel World: Nothing.

The Pale Emperor Era:

Deep Six: Nothing.

The Mephistopheles Of Los Angeles: Manson is shown preaching and baptizing people.

Third Day Of A Seven Day Binge: Nothing.

Heaven Upside Down Era:

WE KNOW WHERE YOU FUCKING LIVE: Sexy nuns with guns. The image of the "Celebritarian" cross appears.

SAY10: Nothing. But Johnny Depp is in this one!

KILL4ME: Celebritarian cross. Johnny Depp again!

Tattooed In Reverse: Celebritarian cross.

God's Gonna Cut You Down: Some crosses.

We Are Chaos Era:

WE ARE CHAOS: Nothing.

DON'T CHASE THE DEAD: Nothing.

[Title Pending] Era:

As Sick As The Secrets Within: Nothing.

Raise The Red Flag: Nothing.

[ensaladaaa]

“Lovely” Malleus x Reader (PT. 2)

a/n: part two of my previous one-shot!! um i believe you don’t have to read the previous part for this (i think it would make more sense but-) yes i’m still using the twitter account i mentioned previously on my one shot. this is shorter i’m sorry 😭

Warnings: none!!

Includes: fluff, malleus paying you back, malleus being romantical omg

Day: After Valentine’s Day.

Malleus had spent the night with me after our small loving session.

Unfortunately, Malleus had to go bright and early the next morning. Totally not because a certain green hair first year was screaming his name outside of the dorm.

Totally not.

So now, I’m here. Awake. It’s not even 7 yet. I can’t go back to sleep no matter how much I willed my mind to.

My body was tired, aching for rest. My mind, literally could go for a lap around the whole campus.

I sat up from my small bed.

Might as well see if I have any last minute assignments I need to do.

After-School:

‘Oh great seven, someone please save me’ I thought.

I was resting on the bench in the courtyard when I heard someone screaming my name.

It was the green haired first year (again). I willed myself to sit up straight to fix my posture.

“It’s you! The human who’s being courted by Malleus!” He’s practically screaming.

“Um- yes?” I tilted my head at him, “Do you need anything..?” He better hurry up, I can literally fall asleep right now.

He shoves a note in my hands, “Malleus has sent me to give you this note! Please read it immediately!”

“Wh-“ I looked up at him, to see him already- marching? Out of the courtyard.

Grasping the note, I unfold it.

“My Dearest, Y/N,

Please join me in the woods behind Ramshackle, I would like to show you something there. Join me at nightfall when the stars start glimmering in the sky. I’ll be waiting.

- Your love, M.D”

Huh? Why behind there? I shook my head and smiled at the small note with impossibly fancy cursive.

“Alright, I’ll be there then,” I whispered lightly to myself.

Nightfall:

I wrapped my arms around me. I’m in the woods already. Unfortunately, I underestimated the temperature and now I’m freezing.

My teeth are chattering, I’m too busy trying to warm myself up that I didn’t notice the small flickers of green fireflies next to me.

“Dear, you’re here- Oh. Why aren’t you wearing a coat..?” His deep voice snaps me out of my cold haze, making my body heat up a bit as I yelp.

“Mal!” I gasped out of my twitching jaw, “I- I didn’t expect it to be this cold..” I looked down, rubbing my arms.

He stares at me, I could tell he’s pouting at me with furrowed eyebrows. “Dear.. you’re a human, you’re weak to cold air.” He huffs out, his voice sounds like he has his hands on his hips.

“Sorry, Mal. I was just excited to see you..” I chatter out. He sighs and grabs my hand. His hand is surprisingly warm.

“Please, come with me..” He whispered out, already pulling me deeper into the forest.

It’s been a few minutes and we haven’t stopped. Mal has his arm around me, pulling me into his side at this point.

It’s unbearably dark.

“M-mal? Where are we going..?” I whispered out, fear hinting in my voice.

“Shh..” He hushed me and I saw small flickers of green light in front of me.

“I wanted to return the kindness you’ve given me yesterday.” The green light turned out to be fire, strings of it connecting to the trees. Without somehow burning it?

“Your love.. It was so beautiful that I can’t help but want to be the one gifting you,” His voice sparks a warm fire in my gut, the emerald fire around me warming me up as well.

He leads me to the center, pulling me in front of him, “May I have this dance?”

My mind cut off. Dance..?

I suddenly got very embarrassed, “Mal. I- I can’t dance…” I mumbled out.

“That doesn’t matter, rose.”

He grasped my hip and intertwined my hand, “Follow my lead. Alright?”

I instinctively placed my free hand on his shoulder, “Alright..”

He starts stepping out a small rhythm, me following. Soon enough, he started spinning me around and lifting me up even.

I let out a series of small giggles, Malleus following with deep chuckles of his own.

Small green fireflies started to appear around us two. Staring at Malleus, I notice how the fireflies highlight Malleus’s eyes.

His horns being highlighted by the light, I sometimes forget his horns are really just dark green.

I show a small smile. How could I had possibly have this dragons heart?

In my loved daze, Malleus started humming a small tune, mumbling the words out.

“I know you, I’ve walked with you once upon a dream..”

He’s swaying with me, spinning me.

“I know you, the gleam in your eyes are so familiar a gleam”

The fireflies seem to glow brighter around me, emphasizing the song lyric.

“Yet I know it’s true that visions are seldom all they seem”

His eyes, oh his eyes. Malleus’s eyes are connecting right with mine, his eyes show vulnerability and love.

Oh Mal.

“But if I know you, I know what you’ll do”

He spun me around one more time, bringing in my body to connect with his chest.

“You’ll love me at once, the way you did ..”

He released his hand from mine, bringing it to my chin to lift it up to make eye contact.

“Once upon a dream.”

His soft lips connected with mine. I felt all of my worries melt away. I felt everything of me melt away.

He unlatched his lips from mine, glancing down at my lips and looking up at me.

“I.. never knew you sung songs.” Embarrassment was catching up to me finally. I couldn’t help but think I’ve heard of that small melody once in my life.

Malleus let out a chuckle.

“Dear..”

Malleus pressed his forehead against mine, grasping my hand again.

“You brighten my darkest, most sorrowful nightmares, lighting up my gloomy world like a million lanterns.”

He then brought my hand to his lips, peppering my knuckles with a bunch of kisses.

“I’m not bright like you, but I promise, when your days are dark, I’ll be your light,” He whispered.

I let out a small huff, a sign that I was embarrassed, “You.. you give me too much credit..” I mumble.

Malleus stepped back a bit, making eye contact with me.

“Rose.. You should give yourself some praise. I spent much of my life guarding my heart.”

“But Mal-“

Malleus cut me off by grasping my cheek, “I guarded it so well that I could behave as though I didn’t have one at all.”

His eyes shown sadness as he gazed off to the side, “Even now, it is a shabby, worm-eaten, and scabrous thing.”

I inhaled through my nose, instincts kicking in for me to comfort him.

“But-” He furrowed his eyebrows a bit, looking back at me.

“But.. it is yours.” He sighs out, shoulders going down.

“Oh Mal.”

I put my hand over his and kissed the middle of his warm palm.

“My heart is yours as-well. I shall treat your heart as if it’s a rare jewel,” I kissed his palm once again.

“And I shall too.” Malleus kissed the middle of my forehead.

[fivemagicz]

helloo! I’m P.P♎️, i was the one who just sent u an ask about personal readings. could i pls know how S.B♋️ feels about me now that i confessed my feelings to her? for some context we met around 9-10 months ago and became good friends! we continued to get closer and i started seeing some romantic potential in our connection. unfortunately she left for another country yesterday, so i made plans with her and told her the day before she left of my feelings. i had gotten some readings prior as to if she felt the same for me and got a yes. though when i did confess she said she saw me as a friend and said that we are still friends (hopefully). i do have an idea as to why she may have had that reaction but i would like to see what the cards say! anyways i’m devastated that i won’t see her again for a while 😭 its likely that i’ll see her again maybe next year though i worry that i have caused damage to our friendship. ty once again 🫶🫶

i think she really likes you back and wants to be with you, she feels the same for certain. but is being held back by her own fears, or maybe she thinks you are. she feels you waited too long to confess. she thinks you’re sensitive, gentle and romantic. she enjoys your company and finds you loving. i do think the only real problem here is you not telling her sooner. she might even think about you two being together even now. she sees you as a good romantic option for her. she may even feel like you both missed out on what could have been.

[lifeofadmd]

Hi. It's been quite a while. But now I'm back.

Now I'm pretty sure, I only write whenever I am sad or feeling down. Anyway, let me recap what happened in the last few months.

Dec 5, 2021 I received a random friend request, I checked the profile and saw the he looks pretty decent. I remember saying to myself, "Kung kani muchat, mu reply ko." He said Hi, I said Hello, and the story went on.

Dec 6, 2021 We decided to meet up and have dinner. He picked me up at the clinic, and we drove a few minutes to eat dinner and have coffee. Mind you, this was my first time meeting with a stranger outside a mall.

Dec 7, I went to Manila. I decided to fly back on Dec 9 via Davao to meet some friends. I told to come visit us to meet my friends. He drove 3 hrs in the middle of the night and drank til we passsed out.

Fast forward to May 28, 2022, him and I got official.

Now, just 2 months into our relationship I'm already doubting myself if I made the right choice. He's a nice person, yes, but I just realized that he lacks so many things that I search for a partner. 🥺 I think I might have been love bombed. 😅

I'm so sad right now. It's our 2nd monthsary but he did not even greet me. He didn't even made even just one special gesture to make this day special. Not even a tiny bit. Even just a simple message would suffice. But no, nothing. 😭

On our 1st month, it was me who greeted first. So this time, I want to know if he will remember or even just greet me. So what I did, I sent food to his office yesterday to feed them because they have overtime work. I even told him that it's an advance monthsary gift and said happy motmot. It was a heads up that our monthsary's fast approaching. Still, there was none.

Haaaaaaayyyy. For months, I've been very vocal that I crave physical intimacy, but he would always "reject" my advances. I even told him that I want to receive a love letter or any message. Still, there was none. Sometimes I can't feel like I have a boyfriend. It feels like he's just a friend, or a companion. Just someone who's willing to drive me around. Huhuhuhu

Idk, maybe I'm just mababaw. But I don't know what else he can offer in this relationship. 😭 After years of being single, I've become quite independent, so I thought a "companion bf" would suffice... But I just realized now that I need someone who I can a healthy competition in life, someone who pushes me to become better and at the same time tries soo hard to match the energy I'm giving towards my career. Someone who's smarter and better than me in many ways. Someone who can provide well for our future family. Someone who we can depend on. Someone who'll be the best and most romantic partic, and the best and most responsible father to our future kids.

I don't know if I made the right choice. And if I didn't, I hope I can realize it sooner and be able to correct and choose whatever is better for me and my future.

[legowolas]

Soooooo, I watched Spider-Man No Way Home yesterday,, I'll put my thoughts under the cut 🤔

I'm pretty sure this is literally the first new Marvel movie I've watched since AMATW??? Hakdhsd

And I only came for ANDREW GARFIELD MY BELVOEDRBELOVED BELOVED BELOVED BELOVED BELOVED

AND HE DID NOT DISAPPOINT

Truly he came back with a VENGEANCE to make Spider-Man AS gay as possible. And he succeeded 😌

Also he spent literally over half his screen time crying. And I mean, I loved it, but also it made ME want to cry 😭😭😭

I don't think my joints will ever be happy until he SWEEPS me off my feet and cracks them like he did for Tobey Maguire Spider-Man 😔

Was vv disappointed with how little he was in the movie though. I'm not sure what I expected but I was waiting for him to arrive for SO LONG

But literally every second he was on screen for was perfect.

Marvel should just stop making movies because they will NEVER again produce anything as good as "are you okay?" "yeah... are you okay?" "*in tears* yeah." (If you haven't seen the movie yet I KNOWWWWW this sounds like a shitty Marvel joke but it WASN'T it was an INCREDIBLY emotional moment and UGH I JUST ANDREW GARFIELD SPIDER-MAN MY BELOVED BELOVED)

Anyway this movie has proven without a shred of doubt that I am indeed heterophobic. When Andrew Garfield Spider-Man and Tobey Maguire Spider-Man are in love I'm like "wow omg good for them love wins", but when Loki is in love with Sylvie I'm like "wow this sucks she's like his siSTER love loses 😔😔😔😔". Have realised that she was not indeed like his sister, that was not the problem, the problem was the heterosexuality of it all 😩😩😩

(And yes, I know that since Loki is bisexual and genderfluid, no romance he has can actually be heterosexual, but the way Marvel executed it was just,, really bad, if you know what I mean? Like, I'm glad they finally acknowledged his bisexuality and genderfluidity, but the way they shoved it aside, and in the same breath, gave us this romance which they presented as m/f, kinda squicked me. But also, I feel the need to add that when I watched Loki, I didn't ship him with ANY of his clones, so maybe only Andrew Garfield and Tobey Maguire could make this normal idk. Also I KNOW that the movie established that the Peter Parkers were supposed to be like brothers but Marvel has ALREADY condoned clone-fucking and they can't go back on it now. Anyway Loki and Sylvie should have been party buddies but Andrew Garfield Peter and Tobey Maguire Peter should have kissed)

Moving on from Andrew Garfield but also staying somewhat on-topic: THEY JUST SENT TOBEY MAGUIRE PETER BACK TO HIS OWN UNIVERSE WHILE HE WAS STILL STABBED???? 😭😭😭

LIKE, SURE, HE DOESN'T NEED MEDICAL HELP OR ANYTHING

BUT WHATEVER

He was also great for every second he was on screen 😌😌😌

Anyway you know who had me GAZING at the screen with my mouth agape because I forgot how fucking gorgeous she was???? MJ.

YES SUE ME I FORGOT HOW PRETTY ZENDAYA WAS. BUT I REMEMBER NOW AND I WON'T FORGET EVER AGAIN

AND SHE AND NED WERE LITERALLY THE BEST TEAM 🥺🥺🥺🥺🥺 AND GOD THEY BOTH JUST LOVE TOM HOLLAND PETER SO MUCH AND HE LOVES THEM AND AAAAAHHH. I CAN'T BELIEVE MARVEL IS GIVING ME THESE FEELINGS IN 2022 😔😔😔😔

Also okay Tom Holland was good. I always act like I have something against him just because he heads my least favourite Spider-Man franchise lsjdksjd but I don't actually dislike him. He also spent a fair amount of time crying in this movie (probably almost as much as Andrew Garfield (my beloved)) which, against my will, made me 😭

Speaking of which...

AUNT MAY 😭😭😭😭😭😭😭

Jk Marvel deaths don't make me that emotional anymore. Also I knew it would happen because I saw a spoiler djfkdjd. But Peter's reaction was 🥺🥺🥺 and I AM sad that she won't be in any more movies because she was magnificent

"Fresh water or salt?" "...WHAT?" "You know. Because you're an octopus." "..........." "...I assume fresh then." 💀💀💀💀💀💀💀💀💀

I just love her so much 😭 truly an AILF (aunt I'd like to fuck, try blocking THAT, Tumblr 😤)

Also, I can't believe I got this far without addressing this...

MCU STOP TRYING TO BE INTO THE SPIDER-VERSE. YOU WILL NEVER BE INTO THE SPIDER-VERSE. THAT'S ALL.

Anyway I stayed for both end-credits scenes, having frantically googled after the movie ended if there were two, but not knowing what they were. I was hoping for another glimpse of Andrew Garfield but was enormously let down. Anyway if Marvel thinks they're conning me into seeing another movie about Dr Strange, that's hilarious

(Also I knew Wanda had lost her accent, but I forgot just how much 😭😭😭😭😭)

Also also I think it's hilarious that literally half the cast of this movie (or possibly more, I didn't actually calculate this) were British and putting on American accents

All-in-all, my ratings:

Andrew Garfield Peter crying (and everything else he did, but it was mostly crying): ♾️/10

MJ being drop-dead gorgeous: 100000000000/10

May being AILFy: 10000000000/10

Tobey Maguire Peter being Tobey Maguire Peter: 1000000000/10

MJ, Ned, and Tom Holland Peter being an adorable team: 10000000/10

Happy and May's weird on-off exes situation??: -2/10

Overall it was better than I'd expected, but I'd still have liked more Andrew Garfield. Also I find it funny that Marvel was trying to keep it so under wraps that he was in the movie, because if I didn't know he was going to be in the movie, I literally would not have watched it. So put that in your pipe and smoke it, Marvel 😤

Everything else: 6/10

[kittygangmin]

BTS GROUPCHAT #1

Namjoon added Taehyung, Jungkook, Jimin, Seokjin, Hoseok, and Yoongi to the group.

Namjoon: yall fuckers better listen up before any of you say something stupid ab this gc

Jimin: yay! a new group chat!

Jungkook: what

Taehyung: wtf is this

Hoseok: its literally 3am.... hyung what

Seokjin: wait why arent you guys asleep

Jungkook: hyung why arent YOU asleep

Hoseok: lol

Seokjin: ... fair point

Yoongi: i was about to go to sleep why am i here what gc is this

Jungkook: we literally live together. we dont need a group chat

Namjoon: im too lazy to go to ur rooms so i made a gc instead

Jimin: wow why didnt we think of that earlier

Hoseok: man has an iq of 148 jimin thats whats up

Jimin: right

Taehyung: oh by the way has anyone seen my airpods? i’ve been trying to find it for DAYS

Yoongi: lol i need to read it twice to make sure if namjoon sent that or not

Jungkook: hyung why do u keep on losing your airpods? stop acting like you’re rich smh

Taehyung: but i am???

Hoseok: says the one who stole bang pd’s credit card just to buy gucci’s latest ERASER release bc yours got over the limit lmao

Taehyung: can you shut up

Hoseok: thats hyung for you

Namjoon: can yall shut up i gathered yall here for a reason. plus this is not a lost or found gc tae

Taehyung: i was just trying to find my airpods:(

Jungkook: then buy a new one stop acting like you’re broke

Yoongi: okay cut the crap yall. namjoon what are you trying to say at this hour. its literally 3am

Seokjin: fr i was about to have my beauty sleep 🙄

Namjoon: right. so who tf put a half eated bacon in my GUCCI shoe?

Jimin: ....

Hoseok: seriously

Jungkook: all this.. for that??

Namjoon: this is a serious matter. those shoes means SO much to me

Yoongi: wow joon this is so important that it needs to be discussed at this hour

Yoongi is now offline.

Taehyung: wtf?? THE gucci shoe? the one we bought together last week???

Namjoon: yeah

Hoseok: no but like why would someone eat a bacon without finishing it😭😭😭 psycho mf

Jimin: it’s obviously not me i love bacon especially if jin hyung cooks it

Seokjin: huh i guess you’re not a bitch after all jimin

Jimin: wym everyone loves me

Namjoon: if no ones telling the truth im gonna tell bang pd nim that yall broke his table last week while i wasnt around

Taehyung: i cant believe yall did that. if the truth comes out these hands WILLNT hesitate to throw all u bitches to the ground😤😤

Jimin: tae:(

Hoseok: but honestly, realistically speaking— we all know tae is the only one who hates bacon........

Seokjin: wait that makes sense..

Jungkook: oof

Taehyung: okay now hold on- i may be stupid in yalls eyes but i’d NEVER. NEVER in a trillion years, put a fucking BACON inside a GUCCI shoe. im saying this as the leader of gucci fandom😤

Namjoon: i-

Jimin: he snapped👀

Seokjin: wait but fr tho can y'all actually learn to clean up after eating? yesterday i saw 3 skewers on the shoe rack

Hoseok: yoongi could've done it since lamb skewers are his fav

JImin: yeah i think so too

Namjoon: ok then let's just talk abt this tommorow since it's 3am i dont even know why y'all weirdos are still up

Seokjin: BUT YOU STARTED THE CONVO???

Hoseok: stfu namjoon

Namjoon: i breathed

Jungkook: well stop breathing

Jimin: ur old go to sleep

Seokjin: LMAO

Namjoon: wow the things i do for this group

Namjoon is now offline.

Jimin: i think imma go to sleep 2 bye gays

Seokjin: me3 gn yall

Jimin and Seokjin are now offline.

....

Taehyung: didn’t even realize it was gucci................. dammit tae

Hoseok: caught in 4k bitch

Taehyung: WTF WHY ARE U STILL UP??

Hoseok: because i can? and there’s no running away tae i caught ur ass

Taehyung: is that so? i know you put the skewers on the shoe rack👀👀👀

Hoseok: um no?? i literally have no idea what ur talking about

Taehyung: oh cut the bullshit hyung i saw u doing it bc u were too lazy to go throw it in the trash can I SAW IT FROM THE SOFA DONT LIE TO ME

Hoseok: ... ugh fine just shut up and don't tell anyone especially jin hyung he’s literally gonna chop my lungs out

Taehyung: bitch don't tell the others abt me 2

Hoseok: stop acting like u dont know me im not and will never be a snitch in this household😌✋🏽

Taehyung: yea whatevs im going to sleep

Hoseok and Taehyung are now offline.

meanwhile...

Jungkook: ... dumb hoes

Jungkook is now offline.

[omegawolverine]

hi again damien my pal damien :] i hope you don't mind me not following up to your answer of my ask yesterday until now—there are just There are so many Tasks and Tribulations. in this cruel world. far far too many in my opinion 😭 BUT ANYWAY!!

I AM SO HAPPY YOU GOT YOUR BILLZO MERCH THAT IS SO AWESOME though also i need to say like i agree like the fact that it's already too cold for short sleeves... CRIMINAL!!!! i don't even mind the cold it's just that i have so many band shirts which i want to wear all the time and of course they're all Short Sleeve... and so many of my halloween graphic tees are too 😭😭 it's not a big deal just Annoying. massachusetts weather is so. hmm. not sure how to describe it id just like to strangle it sometimes

AND I'M DOING GOOD :D!! nothing really Special or that interesting happening in terms of myself but im ok with that i don't mind :] plus i think you also saw that post about me fighting for my life cause i Also need to find a day to finally just WATCH the rest of rise, like i still keep scrolling by every meta post too i can't do this anymore 😭 hopefully very soon though :D id give you rise fic recs too but i only know like... one. and i haven't even read it so idk how good it really is 💀

SORRY IF THIS GOT SUPER LONG BUT EITHER WAY TY FOR ANSWERING AND I HOPE YOU'RE STILL DOING GOOD!! good luck with everything you're up against whatever that may be :D

i have looked at this ask every day since u sent it with the intention of answering and then not gotten to it bc adhd so im forcing myself to do it Right Now (so yeah obvi dont feel bad for not following up with me immediately im clearly worse at it than you'll ever be)

nah but fr massachusetts weather is ridiculous, i just have a variety of turtle necks for every fall/winter season to wear under my plethora of short sleeves bc otherwise i cant use more than half my wardrobe during those seasons without freezing to death 🙄 plus it's like downpouring every fucking week but i dont own an umbrella and i have no clue what happened to my raincoat but i fr havent seen it in like 2 years now?? anyways me and my friends went to spirit again today and got soaked bc when we went in the store it wasnt raining and when we left like 45 minutes later it was pouring and we didnt park close.

but ya i did see that post!! hows ur finishing the show going anyways? i havent seen any updates from ur blogs on it but i def couldve missed them 😭😭 i have made no progress since we last spoke bc ive fr just been watching video essays and streams every day with the exception of one day where i just started a new show randomly and watched the entirety of it in one sitting.

but ya i hope ur doing well also!! we will make it through this massachusetts weather together o7

[the59er]

May 2021!

My May 2021 😊 :

1st May 2021, Saturday

Listening: Way Out - YYY

🩸🩸🩸 Bloody Saturday. But still ate sahur with the family because Mom had already prepared mine so I cannot waste her effort. I considered it my breakfast.

Spent entire day working on Y’s illustration. I underestimated the amount of work and I could not even fulfil my own timeline. I guess I really should stick to my day job? 🥴 On the bright side, It’s so different than what I am used to drawing, so it’s a very fun project to do. 

On a different note, Pwincees sent me a cute terrarium 💚💚💚

---

2nd May 2021

Listening: Superstar - Sonic Youth

Slowwwwly getting there!

---

3rd May 2021, Monday

Listening:  Elephant Gun - Beirut

Happy points: 1. Received good news text from Alan the jeweller 😊; and 2. Had sushi for lunch after awhile! Uzur puasa day 3.

Low points: 1. Busy office work; and 2. Sudden migraine ruined the rest of my day.

---

4th May 2021

Listening: Seven Nation Army - The White Stripes

Happy Star Wars’ Day!

Barely accomplished anything today 😩

Dad got his first dose of Pfizer today! 🎉 Was hoping that Mom would get hers together with Dad, but hopefully her date will come very soon.. All I want is for my parents to be kept safe. 

The rest of my siblings managed to book a slot for AZS except me, and Im getting serious FOMO vibe 😩 It also doesn’t help that I have this paranoia of being left out of the MySj system entirely (even though Ive already registered!)

---

5th May 2021, Wednesday

Watching: Moxie

MCO 3.0 will begin on 6th May :( 

Thankfully I took my planned leave today instead of Friday so I managed to settle all of my to-do list which included picking up the ring I ordered for myself  a couple of weeks ago,

Decided to engraved the number 59, paying homage to my family’s unofficial number. I know this gives out a “married-to-myself” kind of vibe but it’s actually a token of self-love which is something I’ve struggled with for a very long time. Just need to remind myself that I can.

---

6th May 2021, Thursday

Listening: My Friends - RHCP

MCO 3.0 day 1 :(

Yesterday while running errands outside, Y sent me Raya goodies ❤️ 

Ooo boy I really hope I did not let her down with my work! I always always have this fear of disappointing them with my output 😩

---

7th May 2021

Listening: Desecration Smile - RHCP

A lazy girl’s lunch is whatever’s in the fridge that doesn’t require cooking.

This is probably why God made my parents strict and not allow me to move out & live on my own because I honestly probably wouldn’t even eat.  

---

8th May 2021, Saturday

Listening: I Believe in You - Kylie Minogue

Since it’s MCO I had to DIY a Mother’s Day card,

It wasn’t until dinner that my brother realised we had mistook today as Mother’s Day instead of Sunday, which I think might have upset our Mom (though she didn’t show it, I just felt it) because she went around texting everyone else “Happy Mother’s Day” on the wrong day :( 

---

9th May 2021

Listening: Toy - Young Fathers

Aims sent us Raya cookies!! 🍪🍪🍪🍪 She’s too generous 😭 

I can’t believe next week is Raya 😱

Today Mom finally cut the cake that my brother and I bought for Mothers Day which we thought was yesterday. Thankfully both Mom & Dad liked it, it was our second time getting ice cream cake from inside scoop, I’d highly recommend them!

---

10th May 2021, Monday

Watching: The Kid Detective (2020)

Got distracted from work and ended up mindlessly scrolling through Netflix when I saw Adam Brody’s face, and as a fan of Seth Cohen (lol) I just had to click on it,

The movie title initially put me off because it gave me a children’s movie vibe but it’s far from it. I actually genuinely enjoyed it.

---

11th May 2021, Tuesday

Listening: Sweetness - Jimmy Eat World

Why do I (& most ladies) love handbags SO much when we all know full well that it’s a product of advanced capitalism ? ? ?

I LOVE looking at handbags even though I cannot afford them now lol. There’s no harm in browsing! :D

---

12th May 2021

Watching: The Darjeeling Limited  (2007)

Ever since it came out, my Raya eve routine will not be complete without this movie.

I dont know why but the movie feels nostalgic, padahal it’s an experience that I’ve never felt before in my life. It just feels like home. The siblings’ dynamic maybe? I’m not even sure.

My brother & I main mercun later at night (hehe)

Thankfully no po-po stopped by like last year 😅 

---

13th May 2021, Thursday

Listening: Milk - KoL

Selamat Hari Raya! 🌙 

Dad imam-ed sembahyang Raya, then we had salam/duit raya, makan, andddd that’s it! Damn you Covid!! 

Surprisingly did not have my Raya nap. Spent my afternoon taking self-timer pictures in my room since my friends and I were exchanging Raya outfits via text 😂 I’ve got like 20+ of basically the same picture 😬

Me wearing an old baju kurung sewn by my lovely Mother ❤️ 

Have a safe and blessed Syawal to all 🌙 

---

14th May 2021, Friday

Listening: Chad VanGaalen and his daughters perform "Static Shape" in bed

Ive always loved Chad VanGaalen and today I came across this gem. ❤️ 

2nd day of Raya and nothing happened, obviously. My predicted 20mins nap turned out to be 2 hours k.o. 😵

---

15th May 2021, Saturday Started Watching: Halston

Raya day 3. Did this fun one using procreate which sums up most people’s Raya of getting ready, take pics & zzzz

I also love the fact that with procreate you can straight away save as gif. I dont know how to do that using PS 😅

On Instagram, I saw a lot of people getting vaccinated today! I really hope I get my vaccination date soon 😩

---

16th May 2021 Watching: What Everyone is Wearing in NY

Today is teachers’ day! Mom used to teach primary school kids every subject except English. Super multitalented woman! Unfortunately THAT genetic part of her did not reach me 😂

Also today, Ive finally finished all my drafts for Y’s book. It takes me forever to colour. I need to google how to effectively colour on PS. I have also gotten the hang of drawing directly on Procreate. Could this be the beginning of the end of my paper and pen/pencil era?

Throwing back to old doodles on leftover parchment papers because I was too cheap to buy a new drawing book.

---

17th May 2021 Listening: The Long Way Home - Norah Jones

Back to work Monday. Where did the weekend go?? Had webex at 3pm.

Found out that a good online friend of mine actually posted something that tried to JUSTIFY the zionists... it left me aghast. I stand with 🇵🇸.  

It’s extremely heartbreaking 💔 

---

18th May 2021, Tuesday Listening: Saturate - The Chemical Brothers

Day 2 of training myself to wake up as how I did when we were WFO. 

Got called into a meeting at 9am. The day continued to be hectic and I ended up getting a migraine. Surprise surprise..

19th May 2021, Wednesday Listening: Supersoaker - KoL

My off day, but still had to work 🙄 But I did go back to sleep at 8am & woke up again 2 hours later... Continued working after lunch.

We’re all basically living in our laptops these days am I right?

---

20th May 2021 Listening: True - Spandau Ballet

I am still on Modern Family and today I reached an episode where Claire’s outfit actually made me think twice about bumbags. I mean look at her fit! 10/10 will wear this ✔️

What is everyone watching these days anyway?

---

21st May 2021, TGIF! Listening: Aha Shake Heartbreak - KoL

Happy birthday to my teammate sheeba! Miss her 💐 

Work was ok. Cleared my deck with big boss ✔️ 💯 

Lunch was lettuce-wrapped Elvis. Did you know that they have an option to order sans buns? No more wastage for me since I cannot eat the buns anyway. 

Crashed 30minutes post-meal lol but my 20min power nap and an iced coke recharged me sufficiently 😊

---

22nd May 2021 Listening: It’s the End of the World (As we know it) - R.E.M.

Things I did today while being distracted from work;

1. Ordered coffee on a whim when I couldve easily made my own from my last sachet of kopi tenom. Today we got Zus. I love Zus.

2. Googled which beanie baby equivalent am I by way of birth dates and I found out that I am Groovy the Bear 🐻 🌈 

3. Went through random videos received from whatsapp (which most of the time I would usually ignore) and found this absolute gem:

---

23rd May 2021 Listening: It’s Not Up to You - Björk

Recent major spike of cases have brought up a recommendation for people to double mask it when going outside to be safer. Or do the knot & tuck which I actually had to google how to do properly lol..

I am scared. 

---

24th May 2021, Monday Listening: Where’s Your Head At - Basement Jaxx

An unfortunate laptop mishap that happened to my boss left ME to take over the slides control of the budget meeting today and my watch immediately alerted me of High Heart Rate and my head IMMEDIATELY started to pound because my bp must’ve went straight UP!

My headache stayed even after we’re done with the meeting 2.5 hours later. Definitely a manic Monday! 

---

25th May 2021 Listening: Until the End - Norah Jones

Last night I slept horribly because the migraine was so bad I even had a dream about it. 

On the bright side, tomorrow is an off day.

---

26th May 2021, Wednesday Listening: Riot Van - Arctic Monkeys

Happy Wesak Day.

Very upsetting day because it’s round 2 of AZ registration and it’s a massive failure. Im on the waitlist from the first round of registration and nothing.  NOTHING.

I just want to feel safe. We all do.

The only thing that successfully went through was my grabfood order of boba..

Dad had his 2nd dose yesterday and Mom will get hers this Friday inshaAllah ❤️ 

---

27th May 2021, Thursday

Listening: Go with the Flow - QOTSA

Stressful working day. I didn’t want to eat but Mom had already prepared lunch so... I had to eat.

Got into duolingo last night and Im trying out some basic German. Hallo! Ich bin Sya 🇩🇪 

putting the choice of language due to this movie though!  😂

---

28th May 2021, Friday

Listening: Come into my World - Kylie Minogue

Budget meeting @ 2.30pm. Loooooong day. Worked on my minutes until 2a.m. 😴 

On an unrelated note, it’s Kylie Minogue’s birthday!

My ultimate fave queen! 👑 ICONIC

---

29th May 2021, Saturday

Listening: Symphony no.9 in D minor

Hospital day! Getting my eye surgery done on June 2nd inshaAllah if I get the all-clear after my swab test on the 31st. Low key looking forward to the procedure because not gona lie I havent been feeling confident about my eyes so bring it!

Tried to do my grocery shopping afterwards but there was a long queue which I assumed would be people stocking up before yet another MCO begins this  June 1st.. So I gave that up and picked up take-away coffee for my brother and I instead. ☕️ ☕️  

---

30th May 2021, Sunday

Listening: Breathe - Télépopmusik

I spent my Sunday afternoon finishing up my entire meeting minutes and my Sunday night keying in my KPI. I was supposed to work on Y’s book again but my office work seems be going on and on and on and on this week....

Getting my PCR tomorrow for Wednesday surgery prep! I am nervous and excited at the same time.

---

31st May 2021, Monday

Listening: L.E.S Artistes - Santigold

PCR costed 295rm  😵 I really hope it’s claimable from my work insurance... How did it feel like? Stings just a tiny bit. Only lasted for about 2 seconds. Im nervous about having the virus in me all along  and that I’ve been asymptomatic but fingers crossed I will be negative.

Decided to stop by the grocers and there was no queue! Loves it. No Reese’s peanut butter cups but they had this instead lol:

Home, showered thoroughly, and took a nap before lunch and before finally starting work for the day. 👩‍💻 

Bye May!