#i think you can tell i wrote all this at different points cause how some parts are vastly more coherent than others

[microwavetoaster-selfships]

Answering the questions from THIS ask game!! I am so picky about ask games but I just love all the questions in this ask game so much that I'd go bonkers if I didn't get to answer them all!! I'll just be answering for Finn and Axlerod though<3 I'll probably reblog it some other time so I can answer some for the others hehe!

Be warned for lots of uncontained rambling!!<3

Answers about Finn will be in blue and answers about Axlerod will be in green, for the sake of(hopefully) ease of reading :)

VERY Lengthy. I mean, it's my usual uncontained yapping amount but it's compiled with the fact im answering an entire ask game for two characters as well, so it's like a sit down and pull out a snack kinda read.

🥀 - has your f/o ever given you a bouquet of flowers? what kinds of flowers do they include?

Finn doesn't get me flowers very often, normally I'm the one gifting flowers to him, but the few times he does get me flowers it's typically normally roses! It's either a lot or a little, no in-between. Either two roses or thirty. Not that I mind either way, haha! Sometimes he'll try and pick out flowers that he knows I like that I've commented on before, but I think he enjoys the mostly universal gesture behind roses more.

Axlerod has gotten me flowers before, he asked me once or twice before at the very beginning for what flowers I like, and he's stuck to getting those flowers ever since. I love big puffy round flowers, so he always gets me those sorts like peonies, hydrangea, allium, those sorts! For some reason I can not for the life of me remember the name of my favorite one right now and it's driving me nuts! Also tulips, I quite like tulips.

🎉 - have they ever made a big, grand gesture for you? say, throw a surprise party, or go on an impromptu vacation?

Very big things can be tricky to navigate with me, especially if it's as a surprise, Finn is very well aware of this and tends to keep things on the low side with me. Actually, he nearly does the complete opposite! Many small gestures, he practically goes out of his way to make sure things aren't too big or overwhelming for me. Of course, I have very big feelings though, so his seemingly small gestures really mean the world to me. But he has a very big thing for spoiling me to put it lightly, and so he's made it very clear with me that he absolutely wouldn't mind doing anything and everything with and for me. Regaurdless of how 'big' or 'small' of a thing I asked him to do, he'd probably do it without hesitation for a multitude of reasons.

Axlerod has, technically twice, in a sense. For our wedding we jokingly suggested(I can't remember who mentioned it first) me dragging him back to the US(I'm American, he's British), but we actually ended up going along with it! Many tears of joy were shed by me when getting to show him around my home town and ramble on about all the culturally different things, or getting to taste American foods again that aren't over in the UK or the version in the UK tasting different or such. He also did however surprise me with tickets to a race, which led to me doing more happy malfunctioning and grabbing him and shaking him by the shoulders.

💖 - what's the nicest compliment they've ever given you? what's the nicest compliment you've ever given them?

Honestly, I don't know if I can pick this one for either of them! I know it sounds awfully cheesy but really any and all compliments they have said or given me has been the world to me.. and I wouldn't be too surprised if they said the same as well.

🌟 - have you ever stargazed with them before? if they're interested in it, where would you two like to go to see them?

Oddly enough, I haven't gone stargazing with Finn yet, even with as much as I talk about it! Though, we have gone on a night walk together before and it ended up being a very, very special night teehee. Definitely no big talk about marriage or getting engaged ensued, totally. No technical proposal or anything.

Again, oddly enough, no! Which you really think we would've by now with as much as I enjoy the nighttime and stuff😅 but I have spent some time staring out some windows and babbling a bit to him while we both look around out of it. It's so peaceful and relaxing..

🌲 - whats your f/o's ideal date spot to take you to? what's your ideal date spot to take them?

Finn is very sappy, but he also would practically throw away anything to make me happy, so his ideal date spot to take me is simply wherever he thinks I would fancy. He knows I have trouble with going out to eat/eating in public or how I don't like things like the beach and stuff, so on and so forth, so he knows what to avoid and what I do and don't like. I won't go into full detail or anything(cough cough shared bath/shower cough cough), but his ideal date spot to take me is probably my favorite sorts of dates to go on, little stay at home dates!! He knows I love those, and he's always so good at coming up with what to do, even if it's just relaxing and being close together while watching a show or him cooking something for me.

I'd say my ideal date spot to take Finn would be wherever I think he'd enjoy! I tried taking him out to a nice restaurant once before because I know he'd love that sort of stuff, but he doubled down on it saying that it would be at my expense, which would stop him from enjoying it if I'm not enjoying it as well. I quite like doing things for him kinda like when I first asked him out, where I brought him flowers and some gifts I think he'd like,, we don't go out very often, but when we do I always end up gifting him plenty of things!

Axlerod is quite similar to Finn's, he knows what sort of things I do or don't enjoy for date locations, Axlerod already doesn't leave the house very often asides from when he's going to do work things and such, I think he quite enjoys throwing little stay at home dates for me, or making small dates out of things like going shopping together or going to the park and such! He's not a very particular man, so wherever he thinks I'll enjoy will do.

Like I said, he isn't very particular, so it can be a little tricky trying to navigate his favorites or super likes and super dislikes sometimes, but that man just seems happy over anything we do together being so much considered and called a date! My ideal date spot to take him would be wherever I think he'd enjoy best, but he's not very picky, I think he just likes being around me. Heck, part of me even questions if he does have any preference for dates!

🦑 - would you two ever go on an aquarium date together? who's idea was it, and which fish is their/your favorite to look at?

Veryyyy funny and long story, but *technicallyyy* me and Finn did go on an aquarium date of some sorts together, it just... didn't end very well, to no fault of ours. I mean, I suppose you could argue if it was a date or not since it was technically before we were even together, really😅. This kinda rings true for both of them, but I love love love aquariums and museums and that sorts of stuff, but I always struggle going to them because a lot of the time they are crowded and too overwhelming for me :( maybe I just have bad luck, but it makes me so upset, so it's hard to go on them as much as I'd truly really like to. It'd probably be my idea in the sense that I'd suggest doing it sometimes, but Finn would be the one that actually gets the tickets for it/sets up when to go. My favorite to look at would be the sharks if they have any, or like jellyfish or stingrays! Maybe a flounder or something. Hmmm.... I'm not sure which Finn's favorite to look at would be! I feel like he'd be oddly enamored by the touch-tank, though. I like to think he has quite an enjoyment for all sorts of aquatic things so I think he'd like it all in general :) We have little inside things about like shrimp or lobsters, but I don't think we'd find any there...

I'm restating it here again as well just in case, but I love aquariums and museums! But I can't unfortunately go as much as I'd like cause whenever I do they're always crowded or such for some reason and it gets too overwhelming for me :(. We haven't ever actually been on one together, but it would be absolutely something I would love to do sometime. I wouldn't be surprise if he'd ask to rent it for a day and cover any business loss the aquarium might lose if it meant just the two of us could go and spend as long as we'd like there heheh. I think it'd probably be my idea since I'm the one that enjoys aquarium dates so much! Like I said, my favorites to look at would probably be like sharks if they had any, or things like jellyfish or stingrays! He'd probably say something silly, like his favorite is the sea urchin or something. I'd giggle about it, but I would not be surprised one bit if it was geniune.

🥪 - picnic time! what do you guys bring? do you pick them out together, or pick them out separately and surprise each other?

Screams. aAUQUAGHH PICNICK!!!!!!!

I think Finn likes it better when we go to pick out what stuff to bring together, cause then it's like one big mega date cause we spend time picking out all the stuff and still have time to spend together at the picnic. I have so much fun picking out things or like decorating things and so I absolutely get carried away with things like what picnic basket or blankets and little cases or boxes to put the food or goodies in. I'm not very good at eating infront of other people, it makes me very anxious which just makes it even harder for me to eat, but that kinda adds to how special it is cause either A. I feel comfortable enough infront of Finn that I will mind less nibbling on a few things, or B. I know Finn is understanding, and even if a big center part of picnics is..the food, I know he won't mind whether I do or don't end up eating infront of him, so long as we just enjoy our time there. Especially cause he seems so much like the kind of person to really enjoy restaurant dates and things I feel a little extra bad about it on top of usual, but he says that he really doesn't mind, and it'd be pointless to go on a date that only one of us would be enjoying. Also games, though. We bring like chess or something and he flawlessly beats me every single time, but we're just having fun with it and I am not one bit very experienced with chess, so there's a lot of laughing. Plus, leaves my hands more free for spoon/hand feeding everything to him. Which absolutely gets to him and I love it. The food we'd bring would be like very charcuterie styled stuff, and maybe a few extra chocolates as well, and things like cut up fruits or berries.

Same thing with Axlerod in the sense that I don't really like eating infront of other people, but I'd be a lot more relaxed doing it infront of him, or he'd at least be very understanding about it and wouldn't mind. It's like when you get a new cat(or dog perhaps as well) and they're so nervous at being in a new home and are too skittish to be around you or eat infront of you so you just gotta leave out a bowl of food and monitor it every now and then to see if the food is going down and that they're eating it, haha! Axlerod definitely uses the picnic as a way to try and get me a lot more relaxed about indulging in things that I like without worrying over how others will perceive me. He brings like coloring books and colored pencils or crayons, and like bubbles, just silly things to mess around or play with. Yes, there will be Hello Kitty coloring books. Yes, because Hello Kitty is white and you can't really color something white when the page is already white, we will be making our own Kitty's with different fur patterns and colors. Yes, I said "we". He still purposely brings some foods or goodies he knows I like a lot just to encourage me a bit, but worse case scenario we bring it back home and I just eat it there as usual. Probably brings a book or something and asks me to read it to him. 50/50 chance it's actually a book he or I know, or that it is some random book he grabbed off of a shelf or online(he'd probably grab something about history or mechanics or like cars/boats/planes/racing/etc., stuff he knows I like and wouldn't have to worry about whether it'd contain a topic that would make me uncomfortable or not).

💍 - you two go pick out matching lockets to keep a picture/piece of hair/memento of the other in! what do they look like? what picture of theirs do you keep?

Hm.. we probably wouldn't keep a picture of each other in lockets, but definitely something that reminds us of eachother. Finn is probably a bit harder about this because, being a spy, he's not very keen on carrying around things that easily identify his friends/loved ones. It's partly why the few names in his phone contacts are(seemingly) completely random things and change spontaneously to something else. It'd probably end up being something that ties us together, a two havles of a whole thing, each of us having one half. Our wedding rings both have a heart shape ingraved on the inside of them, perhaps something similar to that.

Me and Axlerod would probably put a piece of paper inside each other's lockets, with our handwriting on them. He'd have his name in my handwriting and I'd have my name in his handwriting. Cause I'm sure there's something so sweet and perhaps poetic about having someone else writing your name that isn't you. I also just love thinking about their handwriting so so much and I have no clue why. I feel like so much can be poured out into pen to the paper.

🧁 - you bake something together! what do you bake? how does it turn out? is it the best thing you've ever tasted? or does it suck ass?

If me and Finn are baking together, I am absolutely letting him "lead", because he is far more advanced than I am. We'd probably end up baking whatever we simply feel at the time, whether it be baked goods or a nice meal for dinner. With Finn at the helm, assuming whoever is with him doesn't completely butcher it behind his back, I don't know if it's entirely possible for it to turn out horribly, give or take a few very, very unlikely scenarios. I know I'm no incredible chef, but I'm confident enough that I could be decent at following along, so long as it's not something horribly complex. He'd probably ask for some notes from me while making me some American dishes(assuming he's not saving it as a surprise), and I'd probably show him my scones recipe or follow along and be a good assistant(aka taste-tester)((I will also help but yknow)) while he's making some sort of roast dinner or such. I probably ask him how to cook something or ask for the recipe for something I know he enjoys just so I can make it for him while he's not looking and bring it to him.

If me and Axlerod are ever cooking something together there will be a lot of giggles and laughter involved. We aren't awful, but we aren't that far beyond mediocre either, so what we did cook would be fairly simple stuff or things we already know how to make, give or take the few moments of "this is going into the bin and we are getting takeout. What do you want to order."/"It's not BAD.... but this is going to take trial and error recipies to perfect." I at some point make scones for him and of course he'll want to help along a few times, and he probably curses a few times that there is no white gravy that can be store bought for biscuits and gravy cause we're in the UK. Though I feel like there are a few recipes and dinners that he knows how to make quite well and it always surprises me a little bit.

"Kane, I can just illegally import it-"

"-NO."(followed by a questionable internal maybe.)

🎃 - have you guys ever carved pumpkins together? do you visit a pumpkin patch, or buy one from the store? or maybe you grew it? what would your pumpkins look like?

Last Halloween was a little messy for me, so unfortunately I didn't get to celebrate it the way I wanted to, but luckily this Halloween will be much better :) or at least I'm hoping!! It seems to be headed in that direction!

I talked about this like a while ago in an older ask game and I loved answering it, but I would sooo so so love to carve pumpkins together. I love carving pumpkins and I love the whole process of getting them and picking them out and everything. I will flat-out argue with Finn over getting a pumpkin out of one of those big boxes in the middle of grocery stores that normally hold like watermelons or something. I normally am all for the upgrade of things if you can afford it and it'll make you happier, but at this point it's part of my tradition to go to Walmart and be told every pumpkin that I want is ugly and I have to tell myself to only touch one pumpkin cause for some reason every single one I touch I get attached to and I cannot let myself(for several reasons) come home with like six different pumpkins. I know the UK doesn't have Walmart, we will make due. I'm sorry Finn. But we are absolutely carving pumpkins, I still have no clue what I will carve into mine but he'd totally do like a traditional classical little spooky jack-o-lantern face.

I won't retype out all the stuff I mentioned to the answer with Finn, but essentially: yes yes we are absolutely carving pumpkins, I am making him carve a pumpkin with me even if it means just getting one and sharing it. He definitely tells me he hasn't ever carved a pumpkin or hasn't carved one in like the past 25~ years and I lecture him in his own living room about WHY. WHY WOULD YOU DO SUCH A THING!!!!(He knows I'm just being playfully dramatic and teasing him). He normally doesn't have any issues with texture or sensory of stuff but I feel like he would not enjoy the feeling of the pumpkin guts and it would throw off the whole thing for him(he'd omminously stare at it in his hands until he derailed himself), so he'd probably just watch me closely as I did it. I tell him he has to be the one to name it then. He's probably call it something silly to humor me, like Fluffy.

🎄 - if you celebrate Christmas, what does your tree look like? what kinds of decorations would your f/o prefer? do you decorate it together, or does just one of you do the decorating?

Finn probably gets a real tree for it each year and probably does the same decorations each year of white lights and assorted white ornaments and buables. Probably some white puffy tinsel as well. I would love to decorate the tree with him! Maybe hide a little silly thing in it hehe. I am now giggling cause depending on the size of the tree he gets depends on if both or neither of us could reach the top of it(without a stool, at least). His stuff for Christmas is very white or white and silver, someetimesss on a very rare occasion there will be some blue as well. He really likes Christmas, so it's one of the more special-er things to him. I could go on about his Christmasy stuff for a while, really, hehe! I'm not as avid about Christmas, but I've certainly warmed up a lot more to it and I very much encourage it for him since it makes him so happy.

Axlerod, like most other holidays, he doesn't really do much for it, he's never been particularly excited over a certain holiday so he's never really felt a need for getting decorations or stuff about it, regaurdless of if he's on his own or not. If he did get any stuff, it's probably because I swayed him a bit because either I mentioned I liked/wanted something, or he figured it would be something I would enjoy and got it for me. He'd probably get one of those fake trees that can be like reassembled each year. For some reason my Christmas trees always end up looking a little rainbow-y with all the multi-colored lights and different colored ornaments, I feel like that would rub off on him a bit as well. Same problem situation with Finn where depending on how big the tree is depends if we will both be too short to reach the top of it or not without a stool! I think it'd be nice decorating the tree together, we probably wouldn't put too much energy into it to make it spiffy, but it'd be nice and warm and cozy.

Neither of them are safe from me wrapping them in the lights at least once.

🍝 - you guys go to a nice fancy restaurant together! what does your f/o order? what do you order? do you guys order a dessert? perhaps, to share?

I kinda practically answered this one a little bit earlier with the picnic thing, but I feel bad cause I don't like restaurant dates cause I don't really like eating infront of other people, and restaurants are such a staple date to go on.

I think Finn would be too busy fussing over me to be able to enjoy himself, even if it was just him that ordered food, he'd be super avid about going on a date that we would both enjoy, because that's partly what dates are for, and it'd be pointless to go on one that only one of us was happy about. I feel a little extra bad about it with him cause he seems like the kind of person to really enjoy restaurant dates, but he insists that it's alright and doesn't mind, so it's okay. I still make sure to get him very nice foods when I can, though. Some high-end places allow me to go in and just pick up the food, so I still make sure to get Finn good stuff 😋😊

Axlerod is very very indifferent when it comes to a fair amount of things, and this is one of the things where simply doesn't have a preference on it(or so he says, at least). But, similarly with Finn, he'd probably lean towards not wanting to go, cause he'd probably want me to be comfortable and/or happy as well. If for whatever reason we did have to attend one like for a meeting or whatnot, he'd probably be squeezing my hand the whole time or let me play with his fingers to keep me happy, maybe depending on how I'm feeling afterward or how much energy is in me, he'd offer to go somewhere or do something that I might enjoy a bit more. But it's infrequent that we have to go to one in the first place anyway.

🪩 - you guys attend a party together! perhaps it's formal, maybe a ball? perhaps a masquerade? what are you wearing? do you/your f/o enjoy it?

Funny this is mentioned! Because this is actually technically how me and Finn met! It was for spy stuff and we hadn't known each other at the time, but we were assigned to meet up with each other(probably BECAUSE we weren't familiar), it was quite formal, Finn wore the suit that he always wears and I wore the same button-up, vest and bow tie that I always wear, and with a bit of help from Leland we were strung together. Finn, story wise, is one of the few that I fell for right from so much as looking at him(was reciprocated by him, however he was far much more..composed than I was, to say the least), so it was nearly my downfall when we momentarily had to dance together. Nothing big, just some fancy waltz stuff, which was my luck because that is the one dance I know a few things for and I really enjoy waltz music. I was nearly too distracted by all the new sudden things to even really process that perhaps the whole event was a bit overstimulating to me. Truthfully, I'd be completely okay not attending anymore in the future for.... a multitude of reasons.

Willingly? You probably won't ever catch me at a party willingly, and even then I'd probably have kicked and had to be dragged there. Regaurdless of if it's frat house level party or a pristine elegant formal one. I can't imagine Axlerod ending up in too many scenarios either where he is attending one and is properly enjoying himself while at it. Party life, regaurdless of what kind, just simply isn't for us. We can still dance together behind closed doors, though.

🧸 - it's valentine's day! what stereotypical valentine's day gift does your f/o give you? a box of chocolates, perhaps a stuffed animal?

Finn is going all out for Valentine's Day, he loves that holiday, and he will encompass a multitude of classic things and things catered just towards me. Absolutely he'd end up getting me some assorted box of chocolates that he'd think I enjoy, and probably one of those cute stuffies that are holding like a heart or something, and I wouldn't be too surprised if he got some flowers as well. For some reason we have a repeated gesture of running baths/getting showers started for eachother, he'd probably get one going for me and set it up how I like, with all the lights off and a scented candle lit. He probably wouldn't let me step a foot too far away from him the whole day and he'd be glued to me, mumbling a bunch of praises and compliments and endearments the entire time(I am absolutely weak to this, and I enjoy holding him in my arms and petting him while cuddling).

I feel like Axlerod would be a little lost with what to do for Valentines Day. He'd probably grab a few Valentines Day themed candies, and maybe order me one of my favorite meals or something, but he'd probably end up asking me what I'd like to do and how I'd like to spend the day. And, I don't mind one bit at all just spending it together with him and staying inside together.

📺 - what movies do you guys like watching together? is there any specific movie that comes to mind?

Now, I normally do not really watch many movies, heck, I don't really watch a lot of things in general at all really, but it depends how loose we would like to be with the definition of "movies" here. Cause I am very much subjecting my loves to those Jerma streams that I love watching. Maybe we don't watch it all at once(some of them run on up to 8 hours) in one sitting, but we still watch them together.

If you want a legitimate answer I just had the brain light bulb of remembering a movie that I DO watch and enjoy a lot enough that I would(and have) rewatch is the Bob's Burgers movie. Very good movie, I love the songs in it and it hits me right in the feels.

Finn normally likes watching movies that I wouldn't be comfortable enough to watch, so unfortunately what we could watch together is very limited(but that's how I am with nearly all media, it's why I can be hesitant when watching anything with anyone that I don't already know). He isn't very...keen on Jerma, to say the least, he thinks Jerma is a bit..absurd, but there have certainly been times where he will intentionally turn it on for me if he knows I am not feeling well or if I am having trouble sleeping. He "endures" it for me. I know it's not entirely his cup of tea, so I don't mind at all letting him curl up to me and be in his own world while I rub his back or play with his hair and I watch.

Axlerod doesn't mind Jerma as much, he actually will actively watch it with me on most occasions and will make comments on it quite often(which I don't mind at all), but that doesn't mean that there aren't any moments where he gives me funny questionable looks about it. Axlerod's im-indifferent-to-almost-everything attitude comes into play here a little bit. He normally doesn't get too carried away with shows or movies, so it gives him a bit of something to do when he can watch it with me.

[carcarrot]

dream time

[carolperkinsexgirlfriend]

can you see the stars in your dreams (and do they have a lot to say about me) - Part 17

Or: a secret Admirer AU

PART 1 || PART 2 || PART 3 || PART 4 || PART 5 || PART 6 || PART 7 || PART 8 || PART 9 || PART 10 || PART 11 || PART 1 || PART 13 || PART 14 || PART 15 || PART 16

Eddie’s back to school on Tuesday, black eye turning a mottled sort of green, lip scabbed over. From where he’s hemmed in by Robin and Chrissy, Steve watches Eddie catch a glimpse of him and bolt the other way.

Jeff sighs, lets go of his hold on Chrissy’s arm, and says, “sorry, Steve. I’m just gonna—” and then he points toward Eddie and follows after him without another word.

Steve’s gut clenches with guilt. He’d put that look on Eddie’s face, had caused the rift in his and Jeff’s friendship, had split the forming group up with his ridiculous crush. But Chrissy and Robin are still here, standing by his side.

“Are he and Jeff okay?” Steve asks, biting his lip as he glances at Chrissy.

“I think so,” she says, looking after her boyfriend. “They talked on the phone, but Jeff didn’t tell me what about.”

“Forget about them,” Robin replies, reaching out to take his hand even as it makes everyone around them stare. “Come on, Stevie, or we’ll be late to Ms. Clickity Clack’s class.”

Steve passes the rest of the day in a daze, the spot at his side a revolving cast of Chrissy, Robin, and Jeff, like they’d all talked behind his back and decided he couldn’t be trusted with being alone right now. Steve can’t blame them because as soon as he’s left unattended in his big empty house, he gets out his notebook and pen, and begins to write.

   Eddie —

   I’m sorry I never got to read your last letter, but it wasn’t for me anyways. Maybe none of them were, not really. And I’m sorry about that, even sorrier about how your pretty face got caught in the ceasefire. I’m just full of sorries I’m to scared to tell to your face—from the way you ran when you saw me in the hallway this morning, maybe you wouldn’t want me to anyway.

   You’ve always been the brave one, so you must really want to not see me, huh? I hope you and Jeff are friends again. I’m sorry about that too, I’m the one who asked him not to tell you. I was afraid, but that’s no excuse.

   I don’t know how to stop wanting to right write to you. I can’t turn off the part of me that still wants to know everything about you. There’s a whole in my heart, and I keep trying to find people to fill it, but I can never be in love with someone who loves me back. You know?

   I’m sorry, Eddie. Maybe someday, I’ll get to say it to your face.

   Sorry,

   Steve

He closes the notebook on the damning words and shoves it into his nightstand so he doesn’t have to look at it. Sleep doesn’t come—the house is too quiet. He grabs the phone off his dresser and calls the only other person he knows whose parents trust them enough to have a phone in their bedroom.

“H’lo?” Robin mutters sleepily after finally picking up the phone six rings later.

She sounds tired—Steve’s sorry he woke her. “I wrote another letter,” he says.

That seems to perk her up instantly, as she hisses down the line, “Steven James Harrington.”

“Not my name, Robin Steven Bobbington,” he replies, talking right over her shrieked “well, that’s not mine!” to continue, “I’m not going to send it.”

“You better not,” she replies, and Steve can hear some rustling on her end, like she’s settling back down into her bed. He wishes, suddenly, that he was in there with her, clutching her hand as they fall asleep side by side. Instead, he lays down on his own bed and concentrates on the noises coming down the line.

“Is it stupid that I miss him?” he asks.

“Yeah, kinda.”

“Robin!”

She laughs, a quiet sleepy chuckle that warms him straight through. “I’m just saying! He’s been treating you like shit, Stevie.”

Steve sighs, burrowing down under his comforter and taking the phone with him. “He was different in the letters,” he whispers, like someone in his empty house might hear him otherwise. “Sweeter, you know?”

Robin sighs, “I’m sorry.”

“Yeah, me too.”

There’s enough sorries to go around for all of them, apparently. They’re quiet for a while, Robin’s breathing keeping him company in his big, lonely bed with his big, lonely thoughts.

“I love you, Robbie,” he whispers. “You know that, right?”

He’s been saying it a lot lately, throwing the words around like they’ll connect this time and get him something real. And they had, with Chrissy, with Robin, hell, even with Jeff. Just, not with Eddie. Maybe someday, he’ll learn to be okay with that.

“Love you, too, Dingus,” Robin replies, like it’s easy.

He falls asleep that night to the sound of Robin’s quiet snoring.

***

Eddie thinks about it—obsessively, compulsively. He dreams about it, jerks off about it, fucking cries about it. He reads the letters, again, and again, and again, wishing desperately that he still had that first one. At school, he checks his locker obsessively, compulsively, hoping there’s another note in his locker—there never is.

“Dude, what’s your problem?” Gareth asks, an elbow into Eddie’s side.

“Ow, ribs!” Eddie cries, curling away from him and into Doug at their usual lunch table.

“Sorry!” Gareth replies, leaning away from him and raising his hands up like that’ll somehow prove he’s harmless.

Jeff snorts around his sandwich, “gotta be careful, Gare-bear. He’s precious cargo now.”

“Oh fuck off,” Eddie replies, rolling his eyes as the rest of Hellfire laugh around him.

“No, but seriously, dude,” Gareth asks, this time without the thrown elbow. “What’s up with you?”

Eddie looks across the cafeteria at Steve and Chrissy’s usual spots, still empty the way they have been for weeks. He worries, sometimes, that they’re not eating, and it’s his fault.

Hopefully, they’re just packing lunches from home and eating somewhere else (he’s been too afraid to check).

“Can’t tell you buddy,” Eddie replies, still looking at the empty spot like that’ll somehow make the duo appear. “I promised.”

Gareth, clearly having followed his line of sight, leans closer and asks in an unsubtle whisper, “but it’s about you know what?”

Doug sits on, oblivious, but Jeff snorts again and asks, “okay, you didn’t tell me jack shit, but you told the freshman?”

“Sophomore, jackass!” Gareth cries, before seeming to realize the implications of Jeff’s sentence. “You told Jeff?”

“I knew before you did,” Jeff says smugly, and Eddie’s starting to get pissed off about that again.

“How!”

“Jeff, dearest?” Eddie grits out. “Do you want me to punch you in the face?”

That shuts the table up catastrophically. But in the end, Jeff sighs and says, “I’m coming over after school,” and the rest of lunch is spent fielding Gareth’s indignant questions.

True to his word, Jeff climbs into Eddie’s passenger seat at the end of the day. Eddie doesn’t take them to the trailer, he just drives around, taking back roads round and round, restlessness making his fingers twitch in the gear shift.

Jeff’s the one who breaks the silence, in the end. “I’m sorry I didn’t tell you,” he says, making Eddie flinch at the sudden noise. “Steve just seemed so scared, and Chrissy was crying so—”

“He was scared?” Eddie interrupts, stuck on the thought. He’d known that, before, but now that Eddie’s afraid, too, it hits like a punch to the chest.

“Of course he was,” Eddie replies to his own question. Suddenly unable to focus, Eddie pulls over to the side of the road. “I’m scared, too.”

Jeff sucks in a breath; Eddie doesn’t look away from his own knees.

“Yeah?”

Eddie bites his lip, knowing that Jeff will be able to read between the lines. “Yeah.” His eyes are watering, and Eddie swipes at them, embarrassed. “And I know we’re supposed to be talking about us, but I just—”

“No, hey,” Jeff replies. Eddie hears the sound of his seatbelt unbuckling, and the rustle of him shifting in his seat, and suddenly, Jeff’s hand is clasping Eddie’s shoulder, shaking him around just a little. “You’re my best friend—we’re fine, dude.”

Eddie swipes at his eyes again, “I think I want to ask him out, but what if I’m wrong?” Eddie asks, tracking Jeff’s expression out of the corner of his eye. “I don’t want to hurt him again.”

“So, what?” Jeff asks, voice deadpan. “You find out he likes you and suddenly he’s not just a jock anymore?”

Eddie looks down at his own knees, bracing for a hit he knows will never come. But, Eddie’s always been good at hurting himself, so he thinks about that yellow nail polish again, the enraptured look in Steve’s eyes during every D&D session, the way he’d glued himself to Robin Buckley, band nerd supreme’s side in recent weeks. The way he’d look at Eddie like he wasn’t the king of the freaks, like he was worth something.

“He was never just a jock,” Eddie murmurs. “I just never let myself think about it.”

Jeff mmmhmms him and Eddie knows him well enough to hear the doubt beneath the agreement.

“I was afraid, okay?” Eddie laments, scrunching his eyes closed tight until that makes his bruised eye ache too much. “You wouldn’t get it.”

At that, Jeff scoffs, and before Eddie can start up another tirade, he replies, “right, the black guy dating a white girl in Po-dunk, Indiana has no idea how scary it can be to make a move on the person you like.”

Okay, fair.

“You know what could happen if the wrong person finds out?” Jeff continues. “I’ll be lucky if they let me get out of town alive.”

“Okay, okay! I get it, sorry!” Eddie cries, throwing his hands up in defeat. And Jeff, being the asshole he is, just laughs at his discomfort. “How’s that going anyway?”

“With Chrissy?” Jeff asks, continuing when Eddie nods. “She’s great, man. I really, really like her.”

He’s smiling all goofy and in love. Eddie waits for the jealousy to hit; it never comes. Even as he’d flirted with her, there’d always been a disconnect for him between the letters and the girl. He knows why, now.

“I’m happy for you.”

Jeff aims that same goofy smile at him and punches his shoulder. “Thanks, man.”

Eddie wants to feel that way about someone. He wants to think of them and smile like he just can’t help himself. And with Steve Harrington of all people, maybe he can.

“If I ask Steve out, do you think he’ll still say yes?”

“Oh, for sure,” Jeff replies without hesitation before he turns to Eddie and eyes him up and down. “But are you sure you want to?”

Eddie bites back the defensive retort rising on his tongue, and grits out, “what do you mean?”

Jeff sighs and leans back in his chair. Eddie waits, three seconds from snapping as he stews in Jeff’s silence, hands clenched so hard against the steering wheel that it feels like one of his nails might pop clean off. 

“Jeff–”

“No one’s ever liked you before!” Jeff cries, and it hits Eddie like a punch to the sternum. “And maybe it’s not fair of me to ask but, are you sure you even really like him?”

“What?” Eddie asks, his mind a record skipping against a bent needle. “What do you–”

“Eddie, man,” Jeff sighs, swiveling his head to finally look Eddie directly in the eyes. “Do you like Steve Harrington, or do you just like that he likes you?”

He drops the wheel, hands almost numb as he shakes them out, no longer able to meet Jeff’s eye. 

How would anyone ever know that for sure? How can he know the origin of a feeling when it’s been there, simmering in the background of his brain, just waiting for him to wake up? How can he separate the feeling for a person and the person’s feeling for them?

That’s like asking him to unbraid his hair, let it fall back together, and still be able to tell which strands made up each component of the braid–it can’t be done.

But, “Gareth said I was obsessed with him,” Eddie replies, barely above a whisper. “Like, before I knew he wrote the letters?”

“Yeah?”

“Yeah.” Eddie laughs, but it’s just like Steve said–it sounds different when he doesn’t think it’s funny. “And, he was right, you know? I was flirting with Chrissy, but I couldn’t stop thinking about him.”

Eddie runs a shaking hand through his hair and buries his face into his hands with a shudder. “He’s just–he’s Steve Harrington, right? Everyone knows everything about him, but then he just changes the script!” Eddie’s smiling now, manic, animated. “And I wanted to know everything.”

Eddie drops his hands to look over at Jeff, meeting his eyes once more. Jeff looks patient, ready, hopeful in a way he hadn’t before, so Eddie keeps talking.

“Like, Chrissy was flirting with you and he didn’t even seem to care, and the yellow nail polish, and he came to Hellfire, Jeff. Steve Harrington came and watched us play Dungeons and Dragons.”

“I know,” Jeff replies, grinning now, pearly whites all on full display. 

“And when he came to band practice, he was just like, watching me, and I sort of wanted to die, but in a good way, you know?”

Jeff decidedly does not look like he knows, but he’s still grinning across at Eddie like he’s proud of him. Eddie’s kind of proud, too, that he’s managing to say all of this aloud. It feels somehow new and a long time coming at the same time. 

“Okay, you can ask him out,” Jeff says, turning forward in his seat and buckling his seatbelt once more. 

Eddie laughs. “Oh, because I needed your blessing?”

“Yeah,” Jeff replies, grinning as he turns back to Eddie, looking him up and down like he’s a slab of meat Jeff’s checking for its quality. “Maybe wait until you’re healed up, though. You look like one of those cardboard box kittens that I keep seeing on the news.”

“Shut up!” Eddie squawks, but he’s smiling, helplessly, hopefully.

Eddie Munson with a chance at love, who would’ve thought?

PART 18

[heian-era-housewife]

Synopsis | Sukuna gives you a lesson in Heian Period courtship. Will you find these strange customs to your liking?

Content | reader x sukuna, mostly fluff, some chasing/mention of fear, nicknames "dove", "little one".

"Ryo?" You began softly, still clutching the small poem he had left for you earlier that day. "Was dating -err- I mean courtship a lot different in the Heian Period?"

"Substantially so," he replied as he laid out your shared futon over the tatami floor.

"Was it...romantic?" You asked, climbing beneath the cotton sheets.

"For the time, yes. Though you would not have enjoyed it."

"How do you know? Did you enjoy it?"

Sliding in beside you, he took the poem from your hands and set it gently to the side, brushing stray hairs from your face as he answered. "I never engaged in such pursuits. Romance was unthinkable," he placed a tender kiss on your forehead, "before you."

"But you wrote poetry, didn't you?"

He could tell you weren't going to let this go. Heaving a sigh, he continued. "Poetry was used for many things. Heian seduction involved elements of fear, pity, and token rejection. In romance, the poetry typically came later."

You blinked. Fear? Pity? Surely he had misunderstood your question. Reading the confusion on your face, he offered a different approach.

"It may be easier...to demonstrate," he hesitated. "But as I already mentioned, you might not enjoy it."

"Try me."

Sukuna's eyes darkened. A predatory sneer crept across his features. It was as though a thousand-year craving were finally being satiated. With two little words a sleeping beast within him had come unleashed. He was free to prowl, and you were his prey.

He lunged at you with explosive force. As if on instinct, you dodged his advance, rolling from the futon and scrambling to your feet. Heart pounding in your ears, you ran from the room, steps falling fast and heavy as he took chase.

You weren't sure why you were running. It was only a demonstration, right? Besides, Sukuna would never hurt you. But you couldn't shake that look. The way he shifted from gentle lover to carnal predator. An irrational fear was taking hold.

Fear! You thought. That was the first part he had mentioned of Heian Period courtship. With gripping realization, you allowed your fright to overwhelm you, finding it both alarming and exhilarating.

Easily catching up to you, Sukuna rounded the corner quickly pinning you to the nearest wall, hot breath panting down on you as he eyed you hungrily.

"I've got you now, little one!" He growled. "Next I'm going to-"

"hnnh..." A pathetic whine escaped your lips. With his face mere inches from yours, Sukuna stopped. His eyes softening as he recognized the terror he had caused.

"My dove," he cooed, gently caressing your face in stark contrast to his actions mere moments before. "I never meant to startle you."

The whiplash was astounding. You questioned his sanity.

Dropping to one knee, Sukuna held your hands in his, sincere apologies spilling from his lips. Looking up, his eyes met yours in a gaze of pure pity.

Pity! You nearly shouted. Sukuna was taking pity on your weak and fearful state!

"Oh my gosh..." you said slowly, the point of his lesson having landed a direct bullseye. "Heian Period seduction was insane."

He broke into a wry smile, glad you were finally connecting the dots.

"Does this mean..." he gasped dramatically, "that you're rejecting my love??"

Token rejection. The final courtship component.

"But alas!" You played along. "How could I take such a cruel lover?"

"Let me show you!" He urged.

"Be gone!" You ordered.

"I insist!" He demanded.

"If you must," you cried, falling theatrically into his arms, laughing.

~~~

Back under the sheets of your futon, Sukuna eyed you thoughtfully, a soft twinkle in his eyes.

"What?" You asked.

"You enjoyed that more than I imagined," he conceited.

"I suppose I can see the appeal," you admitted, reaching for the small parchment beside you. "But, if it's all the same to you, I think I prefer the poetry."

"Me too," he whispered, kissing you goodnight. "Me too.

Please feel free to check out the video that inspired this little story. ⚠️Trigger Warning⚠️ While the video is relatively lighthearted and informative, there is mention of nonconsentual actions and use of the "r" word in a factual context.

[zevrra]

Hii, i saw u were looking for requests and I was wondering if u could do a jjk x reader (any character is fine) where they get body swapped by a curse and decide to get freaky

[BODY?¿SWAP]

tags: 18(+) only!!, suggestive content, semi-nsfw, some dirty talk, gojo x fem!reader, nanami x fem!reader, one-shot, anon request

creator notes: thank you so much for the request anon! i couldn’t decide which pov i liked the most so i wrote both of them kshsjs. hope you enjoy! ♡

It was all Gojo’s fault. You were cautious and always careful when on missions. Yet somehow, this one time he distracted you a little too much with his constant flirting and now you’re stuck in his body while he was stuck inside of yours. It was obviously strange. His long arms and legs. The muscles underlying his skin. And the most obvious, different genitalia.

And it was still all Gojo’s fault what you two were doing right now. He insisted he wanted to know what it was like, doing it, in your body. Said he wanted to know how good he made you feel and what he could do differently to make you feel even better. And seeing as how you two were body swapped for the moment, it was the perfect time for a little experiment.

“God,” Gojo groans. Using your body to fuck himself on his own dick.

You can barely keep your eyes open. Out of embarrassment of watching your body move so erotically but also the fact it felt…good. Really good. It was a completely different pleasure than you were used to. Pleasure that was white hot to the point it made even your soul tingle.

“No wonder you’re always a mess when I fuck you.” Gojo pridefully says.

Of course he was thinking so highly of himself. You both knew your sex life was fantastic and this little ‘experiment’ was just further proving his point. But now he’d never shut up about it. You could already see him bringing it up every chance he gets. How your stomach tightens with every thrust of his cock. He’ll speak of how your pussy was made specifically to take the shape of him. Any time he wants to tease you, to make your face flush, he’ll just speak of how many times you cum with him deep inside.

You whine, moving your hands to hide your, his, drastically red face. “Shut up, please.”

Gojo laughs wickedly. Even as he pants heavily with each roll of the hips that he controls. His, your, hands run up the front of his chest. Feeling every detail he can while he is stuck inside your body.

“Mhm, at least I know—fuck—that I fuck you good. Your body is damn sensitive.” He teases, making it a point to grind himself down. The motion causes you to groan.

“Well, I must make you feel real good too cause your body is just as hot.” You shoot back. A broken up moan tumbling from your lips.

He chuckles at your remark. Biting at his bottom lip as he clenches around the dick you currently have deep inside of him. “You’re right,” He smirks. You can tell from the sound of his voice he’s up to no good. “Just makes me wanna fuck ya some more.”

It was going to be a very long night.

It was your idea. Body swapped by some cursed technique, hours later, and you wanted to show the love of your life how good he was to you. How amazing he made you feel every time you two lay together. Suggesting a more physical example to show him in a way words could not describe.

“Nanami,” You hum softly. Standing tall inside of his body. Watching as you move his cock inside of your body. Slowly slipping every inch in and out. Making sure he felt the pleasure he gives you. “Can you feel it? This is what I feel every time we make love.” You whisper.

Nanami lies beneath you. His, well really your, legs are wrapped around the waist you currently inhabit. You can feel him tremble at the words you speak. Watching your own face twist in pleasure and concentration. Makes you smile as you know he’s feeling good. Nanami may not be able to confirm your thoughts for the moment but you know he’s getting a nice grasp of what you go through every time he fucks you.

Doesn’t stop you from teasing him a little.

“I usually feel it really deep right here,” You hum. Moving one of his large hands across your body’s abdomen. Pressing ever so slightly in an area on your lower tummy where you know it’s sensitive.

Nanami gasps at the sensation. Fingers gripping the sheets beneath him so hard that you’re afraid he might tear the fabric. His mouth falls open as he cries out in pleasure. “Fuck!” He gasps, sucking in whatever air he could through his teeth. You knew what he was feeling all too well. The countless times he had fucked you senseless into the mattress, leaving you just as speechless as he was now.

“F-fuck,” He whimpers again. Muttering something about slowing down but you can’t. Not yet. You needed him to keep feeling good. Needed him to reach his climax and see the stars you’re so use to seeing on the other end.

After all of this, you only hope he realizes how good of a man he truly is. “Mmm, I love you.” You say with a chuckle. Watching as Nanami struggles beneath you, making your body shudder in pleasure. Wondering how many times had he watched you from this exact position and thought how pretty you must’ve looked.

Now at least both of you got to see each other from the other point of view. Maybe body swapping wasn’t so bad after all.

[wandanatswitch]

Hour of the Owl

Pairing: Dowager!Queen Alicent Hightower x Targaryen!Fem!Reader

Genre: Angst w/ happy ending

Summary: “Love can become both a sanctuary and a peril”

Warnings: NSFW +18 minors DNI, age gap (reader is aprox 18, Alicent is aprox 37), step-cest?, mentions of targcest, fingering? (reader receiving) oral (reader receiving), semi-public sex, mentions of infidelity (not between the main characters), religious shame and guilt, mention of suicidal thoughts, emotional dependency/obsession, mentions of homophobia, kinda? Toxic relationship, manipulation, I kinda wrote the reader from a BPD perspective so she could have some traits. Let me know if there's anything missing! NO DANCE OF DRAGONS AU! Note: English is not my first language! And this is my first time writing a fic so please let me know what you think <3 Also there is very few use of Y/N! 

Words: 2.9K

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“May I join you, Princess?” 

The oh so familiar voice echoes through the empty gardens of the red keep perturbs your quiet late night stroll.

“Of course, Your Grace…” You reply while looking at the bushes filled with different coloured roses. “Is something the matter?”

 You wished to deny her, you really did… but as always, you failed to do so, you just could not bring yourself to say no to her, nor to reject her presence, the one that made you feel that stupid agonising passion that made you wish it was possible that two people were one. You wanted to be binded to her. You wanted to lay down under the same tree where you kiss her so desperately, and merge with her so you could never be separated from one another ever again.

She approaches ever so carefully, moving her hand slightly forward, making your hands faintly touch… An innocent mistake is what she would answer if you reproach her.

“Not at all” She gently caresses the edge of the rose petals in front of you. “I simply wished to know if you have received any letter from my son” A lie. “I know i have not received one since he left” Another lie. You knew for a fact that Aemond had written to the Dowager Queen, he told you himself in the only letter he had written to you, and you had heard Princess Helaena trying and failing to tell Aegon about what their brother had written to their mother… “Mother said he was vague , but that he was well… he wrote that he is not bored as he expected to be and that he is actually having a good time…” is what you heard Helaena say, but you stopped listening when Aegon groaned at his sister-wife’s words.

“What is your need to lie to me, Your Grace?” You did not look up from the flowers, you did not dare. “You always lie, at this point i find myself believing that lying is the only thing you know how to do”

That gained you a sigh from her “You are right, I apologize…” she whispers “I just wanted to be alone with you—”

“Please, do not say anything else and just leave” you cut her off in a hostile tone but whispered voice “You said it yourself, we are sinful. This is a sin. We are wrong and the Gods will punish us if we do not stop whatever twisted and vile-” she cut you off when she placed her hand on your cheek, caressing it gently with her thumb.

“I know, my darling but—” she tries to plead, but her words get cut off again. You step back, causing her hand to drop back to her side. “You always do this!” you whisper loudly “You always do this! And it is not fair that you get to treat me like a stupid toy that you only wish to hurt!” Tears are rolling down your face at this point, much to your dislike.

“I am so stupidly tired of this, and I simply cannot bear this anymore…” You closed your eyes and tried to be strong and take a deep breath, but it came out shaky and broken. “...I have two children, Alicent… What am I supposed to tell them when they see me cry in front of them because I just can’t take it anymore? That their grandmother's favorite pastime is to hurt me…? 

“Princess, you are speaking foolishly—” The Dowager Queen tries to say calmly, but once again, she finds her words being cut off.

“Am I?!” You are shouting at this point. The anger, the frustration, the pain, the hurt, everything, finally finding a way out. “Yes you are!” The older woman shouted, matching your tone. “My goal has never been to hurt you! Your pain is the last thing I would ever wish for! Ever!” “You are a liar! You have proven yourself to be—”

“I do not lie to hurt you, I lie so I do not lose you!” She starts to lower her voice, although her tone is still full of frustration. “I love you, you know that very well” “No you do not, if anything you despise me” The Targaryen princess tries to say firmly, but her voice wavers from the tears she has spilled “You would have to despise someone to hurt them like you have hurt me” You look at Alicent right in the eyes “Maybe is not me who you wish to hurt. Maybe you wish to hurt my mother and I am nothing more than a discardable piece to accomplish it.” Your breath quickens, your heart hurts and you feel like dying… you feel as if nothing matters anymore, and at this very moment you just wish to die. 

“You just cannot stand the fact that my mother is Queen, can you? And you are not only taking your frustrations out on me, but you are also trying to hurt her through me. That is what I am to you, right?”

“I will not allow you to say such idiotic, and simply untrue words” Alicent is angry. Angry at herself, angry at the Gods… but she is not angry at you, not fully at least. How can she blame you for thinking that? 

She should have been smarter about this whole relationship, the Hightower thought to herself. She should have never given into her sinful desires, but the want overpowered her… If she didn't know better, she would have thought that you were the reward the Gods had given her for enduring more than fifteen years of not only being Viserys' wife, but also a Queen… Turns out you were not her reward, but her damnation.

“I love you, Y/N” She states, her voice unwavering “I do. I love you more than i have ever loved anything before” The auburn haired woman lets out a tired sigh before walking closer to you. She lifts a hand to place at your waist out of pure habit, but she decides against it when she sees the anger and hurt still lingering in the younger girl's eyes. “I do not feel angry at the thought of Rhaenyra sitting on the throne, I promise you that. If anything, I am relieved… I do not have as much responsibility as I had before… And I do have more liberties too, the eyes of the court are not on me anymore, at least most of the time they are not… If Aegon had been crowned king, most of the responsibility still would have been thrown at me, besides I know he would have not been a good king…” Alicent fidgets with her hands as she continues “And the stupid anger i had for your mother, the foolish one sided fight i had with her for years… is over. I know the tension remains, but I promise you, Y/N, I do not hate her, nor do I wish for her downfall or to cause her pain. I wish her well in her reign.” The older woman’s hands grip the fabric of her dress in an attempt to keep her emotions at bay. “So no, you are not “a discardable piece”, Princess” The Princess does not know what to say, so she ultimately decides to sit at a nearby bench in complete silence. “My dear…” Alicent whispers to the younger woman. “I do not believe you.” The princess does not look up from the ground. “I do not believe a word of what you just said.” Alicent has to swallow a sob, but she cannot hold the tears any longer.

“...Why not?” The Hightower whispers as she tries to wipe her falling tears.

“Why…!?” You stand up from the bench and walk towards her, “Why do I not believe you, you ask?! Because like I said before, you have proven yourself to be a liar, Alicent!” The Princess looks up in an attempt to stop more tears to fall, but quickly realizes that it was a futile attempt to stop what she cannot control. “And because you have never once told me about what you just said. You never open up or tell me how you feel! So how am I supposed to believe you?!” The older woman tightens her lips before speaking up. “Alright. You want me to open up? i will.” Alicent steps closer to you and lifts both of her hands to place them on your waist, and this time she decides not to stop the action. “I wish I was born a man so that I could have you like your husband has you. I wish that I was a man so that loving you was not a sin, but I have slowly come to accept that I would gladly be damned to any of the seven hells if it means that I get to have you, to love you, or to even see your face every day. But I still wished that I was born a man… because it is not fair that my own son gets to have you but if I do as much as to touch your hand I will be considered a sinner by the Gods.” She sounds desperate… She looks desperate. 

“I wish I was a man, so I could grab you by your waist, and push you against a wall, and kiss you until you stopped breathing, and do it without fear” Her hands move to your hips. “….If I were a man, I would use you, I would spoil you, I would devour you, but above all I would love you without fear” Alicent’s grip tightens against your hips. “Oh, Princess… How I would love you… If only fate would have been kinder…”

You have stayed quiet up until this point, the words you are hearing have both made you feel like the most loved woman in the seven kingdoms, and the most doomed one at the same time. “...I do  not want you a man, I want you…” You whisper, but your voice does not lack certainty. “I want you as you are…”

Alicent’s eyes look at your own. She is looking at you with such love and tenderness… the kind that makes you melt and doubt if anyone has ever been loved like that before. “I know, sweetling…” The woman’s right hand moves to your tear stained cheek.

You look at Alicent with a pained expression “I love you” Your hand reaches her cheek as you lean forward for a kiss. You kiss her softly, trying to demonstrate with a kiss all the love you feel for her.

On the other hand, Alicent needs you. She needs to feel you, she needs to taste you, she needs to love you… So she deepens the kiss and squeezes your hips. You break the kiss, but not the distance. As you two look at each other, Alicent’s hands move up from your hips to your back. She wastes no time in starting to undo them with practiced ease. “Alicent—” She finishes unlacing your dress, making it loose on you. “Shhh my dear…  We will be fine…” The older woman utters before kneeling on the soft grass and extending her hand to you, a silent invitation.

As soon as you kneel, her hands are on you again, taking off your dress. You gently grab her face and pull her in for a hungry kiss, which makes her moan in your mouth. 

The princess’ hands are tangled in the Hightowers' hair, pulling her as close as possible, trying to become one with the woman that she loves oh so dearly.

As soon as your dress is out of the way, and you are only covered by your undergarments, Alicent’s mouth shifts to your collarbone, peppering kisses as she works on removing your undergarments. She was like a woman starved. She needs you, and you need her just as much. When your undergarments are not an obstacle anymore, her mouth reaches your breasts. She kisses the soft flesh with a mix of love and hurry, making your throat release sweet gasps and making your back arch.

Oh Gods, the sounds… They only fueled Alicent’s want more and more, and it did not help that your fingers had started to unlace her dress, making it each second more and more loose.

You needed that damned dress off of her, you needed to take it off of her just as she had taken yours off of you. You needed to feel her bare body against yours. You needed her in the way you have never needed anything else… In fact, you are sure that nobody else has ever experienced this kind of need and want.

Alicent continues worshipping your breasts as if they were deities themselves. Her tongue licks your nipple while her hand massages the other, and the moans that come out of your mouth are inevitable.

You finally manage to take the dress off of her, leaving her only in her undergarments… But still, that was more clothing that you wanted her in. “I think it is a little unfair that you have those on while I am almost completely bare, do you not think so?”

The older woman sits up a little bit, stopping her ministrations on your breasts. “You are right, princess… It is not at all fair” Right after she says those words, she removes the upper part of her undergarments, leaving her chest exposed to you. Your mouth finds itself immediately in her breasts… kissing, biting, licking…

A sweet moan falls from her lips , causing you to softly moan in return.

Alicent gently pushes you to lay on the grass, but not before putting your dress as a blanket for you to lay on, causing you to smile at her caring act. “I love you so much… I did not think it was possible to love this much…” You whisper to her, and those may be the truest words you have ever said.

“I love you too. More than anything” She lays down next to you, and instantly kisses you again while she runs her hands through your body. “You are all I need, and there is no such thing as something that I would not do for you, my sweetest girl”

Alicent’s hand reaches your hips and as soon as she grabs the hem of the bottom part of your undergarments, she slides them down your legs.

“We should go to my chambers… or yours, anyone could see us here—” Your words are stopped when two of her digits rub your clit in the way only she could “Oh Gods…!”

Any thought of getting caught had suddenly vanished from your mind, and instead, it was replaced by pleasure and Alicent’s name.

“No one will see us, my darling” She moves her fingers faster, while her other hand caresses your hair “It is the hour of the owl…” She stops her movements so she can position herself between your legs “And everyone knows that this pacific garden is yours, my love, no one will come, do not worry in vain” She reassures you once she is kneeled in between your legs. 

The only response you could give to her was a weak nod, but that quickly changed once her tongue made contact with your core, making you moan her name. 

Your hands made their way to Alicent’s hair, tangling themselves between the strands. The only thoughts you had were of Alicent, nothing more, nothing less. 

One of Alicent’s hands grips one of your thighs, while the other one travels up and towards your chest.

The Dowager Queen was lost on you. On your taste, on how you feel, on how you sound… This is everything she could ever want.

“Alicent…!” You moan loudly as your back arches, involuntarily searching for more. “Alicent I’m close…!”

The older woman's hand reaches for your own, stopping her movements on your breast , and instead intertwines her fingers with yours.

“Go ahead, my darling” Alicent says without moving away from your clit, softly moaning at the taste.

Your grip on your love’s hair tightens, and your eyes roll back. It felt as if you were on fire, and you never wanted it to end… You moan and gasp Alicent’s name as you reach your climax,  your hips bucking up towards your lover’s mouth to ride the last waves of pleasure.

Alicent crawls up and lays next to you… Her hand gently caresses your body as she places a sweet kiss on your lips, when she pulls away she takes her time to admire you… spent, panting, and underneath the moonlight. 

“...Run away with me…”

[heartfullofleeches]

Day At The Pool

Yan Casino staff + G.N Reader blurb

-

They've been staring at you all day....

Four members of the hotel staff you have the sneaking suspicion have been following you since you checked in. An extravagant and luxurious hotel spanning roughly the size of a small town - yet you saw their faces at nearly every corner.

It was reasonable to see them from time to time. Your first instance of meeting the group was on your travel to the floor you'd be spending the duration of your stay when you had returned a pendant one of them had dropped after you found it by your door during the confusion. They thanked you profusely as the other members of their team peaked outside the rooms they'd be searching to see the cause of their crewmate's tears.

A few words and hugs of gratitude, plus a few dessert to show how deep their appreciation ran and you thought that would be the end of your tale. You saw them a couple times when you ordered room service - then again when you went out to explore the rest of the resort. One worked behind the register of a gift shop you visited while another escorted you to your seat after you discovered free tickets to a show added on with your purchase of the room. There was always one to cheer you on with whatever recreational actives you indulged in and one to refill your drink.

Even now, as your vacant days drew to a close and you spent one of your final afternoons by the pool your little entourage wasn't far from sight. Two had taken up lawn chairs beside you and politely, but firmly told other guests this area of the pool was closed. Another swam by in a pool float as the last continued to sneak you items in between their stops at other table. Eating one of the snacks they left as hunger lapses your judgement - you shrink into your chair as the two at your shuffle closer.

"Um.... Is there something I can help you with?"

Their eyes grow wide. One mutters in the other's ear, waving the remaining two offer. Joined by their doubles - the four look between themselves and you. They huddle together, whispering to each other and sneaking the occasional glance at you. Ever so often, you hear a soft giggle.

"Are you always that cute?..."

"Or is it just the lighting."

"Your skin looks so soft...."

"Can we touch it?..."

You pull your towel over your legs as the one from the pool reaches out. "... Do you guys do this with all your guests?"

"Course not!"

"You're different - you helped us."

"Nobody ever does that around here - we like you!"

"Wanna keep you safe...."

"Safe? Safe from what?"

The quietest of them gasps, multiple hands shooting over their mouth. The quartet drop their voices to a whisper once more hushed to complete silence as they look at you. Holding a finger to each of their lips, they beckon you closer as they signal to remain quiet.

"Shhhh - not supposed to tell."

"You don't belong here. No human does."

"Boss tries real hard to make this a place for everyone, but not everyone wants that. Demons, angels, others - some don't like mortals treading their territory."

"Cute thing like you would get gobbled right up, but we won't let that happen. You'll our little secret."

Despite the grime tale - the group laugh to themselves at their teammate's final words. Something about the usage of the phrase "ours" tickled their brains. You, on the other hand were having none of it and wrote it off as some fucked prank while recognizing the terror of what it could really be. Examining the identical maids - you notice one of them are wearing name tags.

"Can you at least tell me who you are?"

Pointing at their faces, the group shouts in unison - "Ace!"

"Wait- so you're saying you're all named Ace?"

"Yes!"

Your head throbs. "I.. think I need to go lay down."

"Would you like one of us to carry you?"

"I'll manage, thanks." You squeeze past the maids and towards the elevator. Thay was strange, but you'll be out of here soon as it's not your problem. As soon as you leave, the closest to you pulls out your phone. They all shake hands for a job well done, crowding around your phone.

"Great job, Ace!- That was close."

"You said it Ace. Luckily I was able to watch them unlock their phone a few times so we should have access."

"Oh! Maybe they have more pictures of themselves!"

"Focus. We need to make sure nobody knows where they are.... but it couldn't hurt to check.

The demon in possession of your phone unlocks it on the first try and with the others scours the device for any little detail they could find.

"So cute~ I wanna kiss their cheeks."

"Think Boss will let us keep them?"

"Course they will! We've been good lately, and given all the stuff we do already - we can take care of them better than whatever their old life was like."

"They'll be so happy with us.... Let's go make them a gift basket to welcome them home~ ♡"

[byoldervine]

Motivation For Writing

Getting Off Your Butt:

1. Aestheticise it. Let the light in through the curtains, turn on your fairy lights, lay a blanket over your lap, light some candles, whatever you need to do to feel like a writer. The right vibes can go a long way

2. Picture that one scene. There’s almost always a moment you’re super excited about that basically inspired the whole book. Picture it, play it out in your head in full cinematic fanfare, gush to yourself about how cool it is and how everyone will love it, picture a future fanbase going nuts for it. You might get excited enough to go back to writing

3. Set a word count goal. During NaNoWriMo this year I think I wrote more than I ever have in one go. The thing that kept me coming back was the desire to not fall behind. I ended up with ~45K words after some complications irl caused me to drop off in the final few days, and that’s all just because I was adding up the 1667 a day word count goal and realising where I needed to be at to keep up. I definitely can’t stay as rigid as I did with 1667 words every single day, but seeing that you’re only a few hundred words off of a goal is super motivating - just be sure to set realistic, easy to achieve parameters for just general use, like 1000-2000 words per week. I know 200 words per day is a popular one for people trying to establish a writing routine that can’t dedicate forever to the craft

Maintaining Motivation:

1. Writing sprints. Writing sprints are a godsend for me, I like to set myself up in the living room with Abbie Emmons’ writing sprint video on. The video lasts two hours and is broken up into two parts; 25 minutes to write and 5 minutes for breaks between writing, so four 30 minute sprints overall. Having the timer and countdown with peaceful music and an aesthetic background is both relaxing and encouraging, as well as giving me a specific time for how much longer I have to push through. It’s easier for me to say “Okay, only ten more minutes, then you can take a break” then it is to say “Just keep going, we’re not stopping until I say so” which is too arbitrary for my brain to accept

2. Give yourself a choice. If you’re struggling to keep your focus, come up with a finish line and tell yourself you don’t have to do any more work once you’ve reached that point. Finish the paragraph, go for another five or ten minutes, keep it up until your next scheduled break. Whatever sounds realistic and doable without being overwhelming. And once you’ve met this goal, ask yourself if you still want to stop. With any luck, you’ll have gotten back into the zone and will choose to keep going. Maybe you’ll want to take a quick break but you’ll come back later on. And maybe you’ll decide that now actually is a good stopping point. Just remember that, if you do still want to stop, don’t force yourself to keep going. You can’t strike deals with yourself if you know you won’t keep your word and all you’ll end up doing is burning yourself out, which will lead to even less writing getting done

3. Try a new angle. If you can’t be bothered to write anymore, is there anything else you can do for your book? Plotting, editing, worldbuilding, character sheets, one-shots all that sort of thing can still be productive for your book while still being different enough to give your brain a slight respite. It also means less work in that particular area later on

Afterwards:

1. Organise. Clean up your workspace and put everything away so it’s nice and neat for when you come back to it. Or if you don’t need to pack things out the way, set it up in an aesthetically pleasing way so it will tempt you back next time. Let it give you the writer vibe

2. Take care of yourself. Get a drink, have a snack, walk about, stretch your limbs, take a breath, cuddle your pet. Something that gets you away from straining your eyes looking at text for a bit. This is also a good time to reward yourself if positive reinforcement is something you use on yourself. If you always feel shitty after your writing sessions, you won’t want to go back to it

3. Positive reflection. Make sure to tell yourself you did good, even if you didn’t get as much done as you would’ve liked or it isn’t up to a standard of quality you’re aiming for. That can all be fixed later on, and you’re infinitely better off than you would’ve been if you didn’t do it. Be proud of yourself. Tell yourself you’re proud of your hard work and your dedication and your effort. Remind yourself that this is a fun thing you like to do. Marvel over how insane it is that you’ve gotten this far - not many people do - and that you’ve got all this tangible work to prove you’ve accomplished something so many people wish they could pull off. If this isn’t fun overall, there’s no point

[lucifersdickriderdotnet]

Sick and Tired

Summary: you can't say that anything about having a chronic illness is fun, but at least you have friends who care about you. 2.7k words

Disclaimer: GENDER NEUTRAL READER I wrote this in one go at like 3am. So. All of the brothers are in this but it's more platonic than anything else? If you want you can read it as romance because I did imagine kissing several of them on the mouth while writing it. also shout out to the author on ao3 that called Asmo "Momo" and then pointed out that it means "peach" in japanese. I did steal that nickname. lmk if it was you though bc I will credit you.

Notes: This is based on my own personal experience with a mystery disease that has been plaguing me since I hit puberty. I'm going to be very real, I wrote this for myself as a way to cope because I got #sad. it sucks, for sure, but there are some things that make it more bearable and isn't that how life works anyways?

The cool thing about being a human in what is essentially hell is that when diseases happen, you are more or less immune to them. The bad part about being a human in what is essentially hell is that you’re human and it’s essentially hell. Because of this, there are some things that you’ve had to explain to your housemates, or to an overeager Diavolo, or to a concerned Luke. You had to talk Lucifer down from renovating the whole House to put in an elevator because he was “worried about your flimsy human joints.”

“I have bad joints, regardless.” You remember saying, “I’m a human, it comes with the territory. Don’t put an elevator in the House, I don’t like them anyway.”

You’ve had to explain that while you’re grateful that they managed to find vitamin D supplements, they’re meant to be just that, a supplement to spending time in the sun, something the Devildom doesn’t have. So while your symptoms have been alleviated, they have not been fixed. Levi fixed this by buying you something like a heat lamp.

“Where did you even find this?” You’d said after he’d forced you underneath it.

“You’re gonna hate the words that are going to come out of my mouth.” His hands stilled from where they were busy attaching it to the wall by your bed.

“Just tell me.”

“Some demons used to, emphasis on ‘used to’, own humans as pets. So they made these little lamps to mimic the sun or whatever.” You blink at him, rapid fire before shrugging a little.

“Humans used to own each other.” He turns his head to gape at you like a fish.

“What?”

“Yeah it was a whole thing. There are still lasting repercussions that echo through our modern society.”

“That’s insane.”

“I thought I told you before that human cruelty knows no bounds.”

Solomon of course, is no help, because while he may be human, he is old. You’d complained of jaw pain once, something about your teeth aching.

“It might be a demon.” He’d said this confidently at the one dinner a month he’s allowed to have with the brothers. As per the dating-Asmo-agreement he made with Lucifer.

“It might be a what?” Satan’s head whipped towards Solomon so fast you thought he broke something.

“A demon. Tooth pain is caused by little demons in the teeth.” You stared at him like he grew a second head.

“No, it’s not. It’s caused by bacteria eating away at your teeth. And that’s just for cavities. This could be something completely different. Also, I don’t think humans have believed the demon teeth thing in forever. God, you’re old.” Your frustrated rebuttal of Solomon’s “wisdom” had not stopped the brothers from checking you up and down for curses or signs of possession.

So, for the most part. It’s fine, and you don’t mind explaining these things to them just like they don’t mind explaining demon culture to you. This though, you’ve never been able to explain to anyone, so you can’t explain it to them either.

—

“I’m so tired,” it’s noon and you woke up from sleeping two hours earlier. Asmo has dragged you out of the house for some shopping spree, and while you were excited to go, your energy levels have quickly depleted.

“But darling! We just started!” Despite saying this, he’s walking towards the register with the clothes he’s decided he likes, willing to cut his trip short if it’s for you. You shake your head.

“No, no, keep shopping. I’m always tired, Peach.” He hums and goes back to perusing the shelves while you stay seated by the dressing room for his mini fashion shows.

You don’t just get tired while hanging out with Asmo, it happens everywhere. Beel has to catch your head when you almost faceplant into your lunch. You spend a Devildom History class fighting to keep your eyes open while Satan takes twice the amount of notes as usual so you don’t fall behind. Levi asks you to watch a special livestream of a Sucre Frenzy concert and you have to sit down halfway through because you’re suddenly dizzy. You even fall tired while driving Mammon’s car, once.

He’d been in the passenger seat, fretting over your every move, and you’d understood despite the fact that it was incredibly annoying. This car was his baby, something he was incredibly proud of, something he worked hard to get. Still, having someone freak out over your driving usually makes it worse.

You’d been gently reassuring him of your skills when you felt it, the familiar pull of your eyelids, the way your brain seemed to slow down. It takes you a second longer than it should to register the red light and you have to slam on the brakes to avoid running it. It’s not too soon after that when you decide to pull over and have Mammon drive you home. You fall asleep on the way back.

—

This all comes to a head when you manage to outsleep Belphie.You aren’t sure how you did it, honestly. You went to bed on Friday afternoon and vaguely remember being woken up because a meal was ready. You remember making some sort of affirmative noise and then going back to sleep. You have hazy memories of stumbling to the bathroom and chugging down bottles of water, but mostly it was just sleep. Then, Belphie is shaking you awake. He’s saying something you can’t quite hear and Beel is picking you up and carrying you to the living room and the lights are so bright it turns your brain back on.

“Belphie, did you do somethin’?” It’s Mammon’s voice, accusatory. Someone pokes your cheek.

“So you kill a guy once and suddenly everything that happens to them is your fault?” His reply makes you snort.

“Did you or not?”

“No. This is… this is something else.” He sighs and then one of your eyelids is being manually opened so he can make eye contact with you before he lets go and your head drops slightly. “I know what my sin feels like. I know what Sloth feels like. It’s a choice, mostly. It’s the action of choosing to do nothing rather than something. This is something else. Something completely different.” You yawn and scrub at your eyes, finally opening them to stare at your posse.

“Did I get a fanclub while I was napping?”

“You’ve always had a fanclub,” Levi says quietly.

“Napping? You call that a nap?” Asmo pokes your cheek and you assume he’s the one who did it the first time.

“How do you know they have a fanclub?” Satan turns his head to Levi and his brother turns a bright shade of red.

“I’m the president.” He says. Beel raises his hand.

“I’m VP. We hold meetings every Wednesday. Lucifer pretends it’s stupid but he’s always in the club room ‘doing student council work’.”

“Can we get back to the matter at hand?” Lucifer finally interjects, not wanting to deal with his brothers’ needling. Satan grumbles something about him being a loser under his breath. “Are you aware of how long you were asleep for?”

“I mean, I dunno,” you stretch your arms above your head and almost hit someone in the face. “I remember someone coming to me about dinner, so probably a while. Why?” Lucifer sighs and rubs a hand down his face.

“It’s Sunday afternoon.” You stare at him blankly.

“This is the worst joke you’ve ever told.”

“I am not joking,” he says and Levi shoves his D.D.D under your nose. Sure enough it says that today, the day you are finally awake, is Sunday. It says that it’s 2pm. You’ve slept for almost a full 48 hours. The thought brings tears to your eyes immediately and Levi freaks out.

“No wait, don’t cry. I don’t know what to do when you cry!” His hands are flapping around your face uselessly and it makes you laugh and choke on a wet sob.

“You can back the fuck up, for starters.” Satan bodily pushes his brothers out of the way to get to you, placing a box of tissues on your lap and sitting next to you. Not close enough to touch, but enough so you know he’s there.

“Sorry,” you take a tissue and blow your nose. Beel holds out a trashcan and Asmo pretends not to be disgusted. It’s sweet. “Crying in front of people is so cringe.”

“Being vulnerable and crying is not something you should be ashamed of,” Lucifer says and it’s weird to have your own words parroted back at you.

“Why’re you apologizin’ anyway? ‘S not like you did anythin’ wrong. We’re just worried is all.” Mammon runs a hand over your hair as he says it before remembering himself and crossing his arms over his chest.

“Because it’s never been this bad before. I’ve never slept for damn near two days.”

“So this is a recurring problem?” Satan has procured a notebook from out of nowhere and has his hand poised to write down what you’re saying. Presumably to go scour his books for a solution.

“Yeah. It’s … I’m tired a lot. Always, really. I’m tired right now, actually. Sometimes it’s worse than others but … I don’t really know what’s wrong.” You huff, “I was actually in the process of getting tests done to figure it out when I got magic-ed here. Isn’t that funny?”

“Is there anything we can do to help?” Asmo is resting his head on your shoulder and you tilt your head so it rests on his.

“Not really. ‘M sorry, Peach. I’d tell you if there was.”

“I always wondered why you had such deep eyebags. I thought it was something in your skincare routine.”

“It’s also genetic.”

“Humans have genes for dark under eyes?” He sounds horrified at the prospect.

“Sure do.”

“That’s miserable.” You laugh at him and he squeezes your hand gently.

“So, yer just… tired.” Mammon asks.

“Mhm.”

“Chronically.”

“Also yes.”

“I didn’t know you knew the word ‘chronic’, Mammon,” Belphie ribs Mammon from his spot on the floor. You kick him slightly.

“Don’t be an ass.” He sighs dramatically and flops over onto his back.

“It’s good to know it’s not a freaky demon thing.” He peers up at you from underneath his bangs.

“Yeah. I’m kind of tired of dealing with freaky demon things. No offense.” There’s a chorus of agreement throughout the room and you can see everyone relax a little now that they know.

“It is a shame though,” Lucifer says, “that it is not demon related.” His brow furrows. “Those I can fix.” You shrug and slightly jostle Asmo’s head.

“Eh. That’s life. Thank you for being concerned though, I appreciate it.” Your stomach grumbles. “I guess I should eat, huh?” Asmo graciously lifts his head off your shoulder and you head to the kitchen, Beel on your tail.

“There’s nothing we can do?” He looks sad, and he’s rubbing his wrist in that way he does when he’s nervous. You’re struck with the realization that Beel is the defender of his family. He’s physically the biggest and the strongest, and he’s been looking after them and taking care of them physically for basically forever. It must be excruciating for him to not be able to help you.

“No,” you shake your head sadly, “I’m sorry, Bug.” You step forward and give him a hug. He returns it and you pretend you can’t feel him cry.

—

Things are different after that. Asmo tries to hang out with you in places closer to the House or in his room. Lucifer pulls you aside and tells you both his room and his study are always open for you if you need them. Beel takes you to the gym with him so you don’t stay too sedentary, but is always willing to stop working out if you need to go home. Satan almost gets into a physical altercation with a teacher over you sleeping in class and you find out later that Belphie gave him nightmares for a week. Levi doesn’t make you sit through as many anime binges anymore, instead separating them up into something more bite sized so you can properly enjoy it. It’s nice, you think, that they’re trying to take your needs into consideration.

Diavolo catches wind of it and sneaks his way over to the House to ask you questions. Walks into Lucifer’s study where you’re trying to do assigned reading like he owns it, and you think that he probably does in some way.

“Diavolo–” Lucifer stands up and Diavolo laughs.

“Don’t worry! There is nothing wrong! I just had some questions for our lovely exchange student.” He sits down in the armchair across from you and you set your notebook down.

“What’s up?” You can hear Lucifer mumbling prayers to a God who will no longer listen to them and it makes you snort.

“I have learned of your condition.”

“I gathered.”

“There is nothing I can do?”

“Do you have several degrees and a shit ton of fancy machinery?” Lucifer chokes at your language. Diavolo smiles at you.

“Can’t say that I do.”

“Then, no. There isn’t.” He hums thoughtfully and you busy yourself with trying to figure out Lucifer’s Demonus organization pattern. It doesn’t seem to be by age, so maybe it’s by color?

“What does it feel like?” Diavolo’s question draws you out of your comparison of two almost identical wine reds. You think one has a brighter undertone but that could be the color of the label.

“Have you ever been tired?”

“Indeed.”

“Have you ever not slept, for like, a whole day, and you can feel that your brain isn’t working at maximum capacity?” He nods. “Have you ever felt like you were trying to run in a swimming pool?”

“I can run in swimming pools.” You roll your eyes.

“Can you run through slime?”

“No, I don’t think so.”

“It’s like that. It’s being so tired that you know you aren’t operating at your best and being able to do nothing about it. It’s like moving through water. It’s never getting enough sleep. I could sleep the perfect amount for a human my age and I would still be down to take several long naps throughout the day. And it’s not something I can ignore, either. I can’t just power through it. Because after a while, it starts to hurt.”

“Hurt?” He frowns, and it’s weird to see him not smiling.

“Yeah. It’s. When I get too tired my eyes will hurt. It feels like they’re grapes and someone is squishing the life out of them. It feels like a thousand tiny needles poking at my eyes. It feels like someone is squishing the bridge of my nose in their fist and refuses to let go. It makes my stomach hurt, it makes me nauseous and sick, and it makes me dizzy and it’s awful.”

“I see.”

“So, I have to sleep. I have to sleep because if I don’t it hurts and if I manage to get through that my body will make itself sleep, anyway. It’ll just turn off, regardless of if I want it to or not.”

“That. That is miserable. I am sorry you have to experience such a thing.” You shrug a little and stare at your hands.

“What can you do?” It comes out sarcastic and dry. There’s a silence, tense and weighty, and you know what he’s going to ask before he does.

“Do you need to go to the human world?” You can hear Lucifer’s sharp inhale even though he was pretending to not listen.

“Maybe. But, if it is what I think it is, it won’t go away. I’ll just know and get medication. Probably.” Diavolo stands and nods.

“At least you will know. I will figure something out for you.” He nods again, this time to himself. “There is no reason for you to suffer this way.”

“It won’t go away, Diavolo. I’ll still have it.” You need him to know this. You need him to know that it won’t be permanently fixed. You don’t want him to be disappointed when everything’s said and done and you’re still sick.

“Yes, but things will be better, no? Some progress is better than no progress, no matter how small.” He pauses and smiles at you, warm and comforting. “And we will all be there for you. Regardless of the outcome.”

[allywthsr]

ELF ON THE SHELF | (l.norris)

summary: you and Lando prepare elf on the shelf

wordcount: 1.5k words

pairing: dad!landonorris x fem!reader

warnings: none!

notes: I’ve never had elf on the shelf, so I hope that how you do it

advent calendar

Elf on the shelf was a tradition you started ever since you had kids with Lando, every day in December the little elf (that Louis named Claus) did funny mischievous things. Last year's favorite was when Claus took a bite of every single cookie you baked the day before, Lando sacrificed himself to assume this task.

Now with Sofia being three years old, she finally really understood the elf on the shelf and got excited when she woke up, what kind of thing Claus did today, erupting in giggles every time.

You started this year with a simple, yet funny, thing, when the kids were sleeping, you got out a bowl and filled it with some water, you put a tiny carrot in the water and two wiggly eyes, you sat Claus on the dining table and the bowl next to him. Every year you wrote a little note, explaining what Claus did, today it was: ’I brought you a snowman from the North Pole, I hope it’s not that cold anymore xx Claus‘. You could already hear the giggle of your two little sunshine’s.

And that’s exactly how they reacted when Lando read the note to the kids, they giggled and Louis said: ’But mummy, the snowman melted, it’s just water‘.

In the evening, you set up the next one, Claus sat on a little chair you bought, and next to him the iron and some crinkled and normal crisps. Today's note: ’I ironed your crisps cause they were all crinkled‘. Lando laid out the crisps and ate a few himself, he chuckled when you two were ready for tonight, it was funny.

Little Sofia was tired that morning, not really awake, she just pointed at the different things, but Louis was awake and giggling. ”Daddy, he ironed our crisps!“ Lando lifted him on his hips and tickled his sides‘ ”Daddy…. stop. Can I eat some crisps?“ Lando nodded and bent down a little, so Louis could reach the crisps, taking an ’ironed‘ one. ”They taste even better when they’re ironed!“ Lando kissed the side of his head, and you chuckled.

In the following evenings you did several mischievous things with Claus, one day he put Christmas hats on some of you guys in the pictures, you cut out red triangles and white stripes, glued them together, and had a little Christmas hat. Another day he fried little Haribo eggs in a pan, obviously you only put the gummy eggs in the pan, sat Claus next to it and the giggles were loud the next morning. You were happy that you found new things that Claus did every year.

It wasn’t always things that you and Lando put a lot of time and crafts in, one time, Lando just placed Claus upside down on the fridge, simple, but the kids loved it. Lando had to lift up both of them, so they could say hello to Claus.

This year's favorite was definitely when you placed Claus under a glass and the note said: ’Your daddy farted, I‘m hiding in here from the stinky smell‘, Lando was a bit sulky about the fact, that he had to be that one that farted, but you reminded him of the time, you and the kids had to flee from the living room into the kitchen because it was smelling awful. He only smiled when you brought it up, clearly proud of his achievement. The next morning, the house was filled with giggles, Louis and Sofia couldn’t contain their excitement about this one, they even told Lando’s parents when they visited that day, laughing until you had to tell them, to think about their breathing.

One day Claus made a sponge cake, just a kitchen sponge on a plate, with some sprinkles on top of it, placed next to the Kitchenaid that stood in the corner of the counter.

Lando’s favorite was definitely the one, where you tin foil wrapped everyone’s favorite pair of shoes, Claus wanted them to look ’shiny‘ so he did some work around the shoes. Lando had so much fun, wrapping each shoe, especially Sofias because they were so small, ”Babe look, her feet are just the smallest cutest things ever!“

You had a few more, Claus was sitting on top of the tree, pretending like he removed the star and he was the new tree topper, another cute idea was, that Lando wrapped him in wrapping paper and laid him under the tree ’I am your only present for Christmas‘ the kids protested against what Claus wrote on the note, but Lando cooled them down pretty quickly, as always, Lando was the one, they always listened to.

One evening you stacked the living room pillows on top of each other and said that Claus stacked the pillows, to climb up to the ceiling lamp, but he couldn’t reach, it because the pillows weren’t enough.

An idea you found online, that took a bit more preparing time, was that you placed Claus on the counter, sifted some flour around, and placed little mini marshmallows next to him. The note said: ’I‘m ready for a snowball fight, I already have mine when the kids saw that, and they started to throw these little marshmallows against Clause, but Lando quickly put that to a stop and explained that you do not play with food, instead they should eat it, which they did. Sofia was propped up on Lando’s hip and every now and then she would pop some marshmallows in Lando’s mouth, she was always big on sharing things.

Things that made your kids, and Lando, giggle were when Claus played elf Jenga, you placed Kit Kats on top of each other and then you created a small eatable Jenga, easy, but the kids loved it, especially when Lando snook away with them, after you settled in the living room, to steal Claus some Kit Kat. One day, Claus cut a small hole into Louis's favorite cereal box, to snack on some chocolate puffs. You can imagine what Lando had to do after he and the kids rescued Claus from the box, a small bowl filled with milk and some cereal because if Claus was hungry, he should eat some cereal. Another time he placed some crayons on a crater and little Skittles were placed inside and in front of it, the note said: ’Now this is a great way to use crayons‘, the kids loved it, eating the Skittles before you could say no. A silly thing was when Claus was sitting in Sofias' underwear on the drying rack, she couldn’t contain the giggles, especially when Lando acted all disgusted playfully, that Claus chose to sit in her smelly undies. What else happened with underwear was, that Lando and you replaced the stockings that sat above the fireplace with underwear, so instead of Lando’s stocking, there was his boxershort. On the ground laid a small chocolate bar, the note said: ’I tried to put some candy in your new stockings, but they kept falling out‘. Also, easy things were that, Claus was trapped under a bell jar, and the note only said: ’help‘. Lando had to lift Sofia up to Claus, so she could help him before he got hurt, both of them cheering when she held Claus in her hands. One day Claus sat on the railroad, wanting to drive to the North Pole, to tell Santa what good kids they were, and another day he stacked up all jars and cups, so he could reach the countertop and a jar of sweets that stood in the middle of it. Lando also hid him between the bananas once, wrapped in some yellow napkins, to disguise himself as a banana, often these were the things where the kids would laugh the hardest, it was easy, yet effective.

Once Claus cooked breakfast, Lando poured different sweets into a pot, like Haribo spaghetti sticks or oranges, the variety was big and the cheer as well, when the kids saw it.

Lando was super proud of one idea he had, under a glass he trapped his computer mouse and the note said: ’I caught a mouse on the loose‘, because of his love for computers and playing games, the little ones also loved sitting in front of it and mostly press random letters on the keyboard.

On Christmas Day, Claus sat on the table with two eggs in front of and some sprinkles next to him, together with you and Lando, the kids sprinkled the sprinkles over the eggs, because the note said: ’Pour the sprinkles over the eggs and come back in three hours‘ in the meantime, Lando replaced the real eggs with some Kinder surprise eggs. The faces both of them made were the sweetest, how surprised and with an open mouths they looked at the eggs and stared to thank Claus that he made surprise eggs out of the normal ones.

All in all, the elf on the Shelf was a success this year, often enough Lando was just as happy and laughing as his kids were, but that’s what happens when you’re still a kid at heart.

[anachronistic-falsehood]

Vash and Femininity: Trigun Stampede and its Themes of Bodily Autonomy, Exploitation, and Vague Gender Fuckery

alright sit the fuck down. we're gonna talk about THEMES

I was on Twitter- terrible idea usually, but a couple people I follow made some tweets that got me thinking about Trigun's overall themes, and here we are. So let's talk about some themes in Tristamp! And I'll take a couple looks at Trimax as well, just for fun :3

Let's look at how the showrunners utilize gender roles and exploitation of feminine characters to show how unhealthy Knives' obsession with his ideal of Vash is, and how horrific his exploitation of Vash and the Plants is.

Vash, from the beginning of Tristamp, is someone who cares about people's choices. When people kill others in front of him, he reiterates that whether someone lives or dies is not another person's choice to make. This is something he learned from Rem (a prominent female figure in his life). He refuses to kill people because that is not his choice to make. To kill someone is the ultimate removal of their bodily autonomy. They can no longer make any choices at all; they're dead.

Vash is also someone who has almost no choice in what path his life takes. He's constantly dragged around by outside forces, namely situations that are caused by Knives (which we'll get into later). Vash doesn't make things happen, things happen to Vash. The majority of events that occur are not his fault. He's pushed and pulled in a thousand different directions. His entire life is completely out of his control.

This can be seen as early on in his life as the Fall, something he had no control over and had no idea he even had a part in. Even later, in the ship with Luida and Brad, after he's been rescued from the desert, he's kept in handcuffs right up until he's shown to be of use to them and the Plant on their ship. After that, he could theoretically say "no, I don't want to go to other ships and heal their plants," but he doesn't. He's Vash. He's helpful and nurturing at his core, and these people have done so much for him just by letting him stay, so he'll do whatever they ask, no question.

This carries over into his adulthood. At Jeneora Rock, he goes to look at their Plant at one simple request, doesn't protest when he's dragged into a duel-- he doesn't take initiative unless someone's life is immediately at stake. He lets people tell him what to do and lets himself get dragged around by the wrist. He doesn't even pretend to have control over his life like Trimax Vash does, which I mean. Fair. Why pretend to have a grip on your existence when it's impossible to do anything without a gun pointed at your head?

Vash is a very passive character. He's nurturing, kind, gentle- he's a guy that fits a lot of very typical feminine character stereotypes. If you wrote this same story but made him a woman, I wouldn't bat an eye (but I would definitely be looking at it a lot more critically, what with the amount of stereotypically nurturing/motherly female characters in media already.)

This contrasts directly with Knives. He makes a decision and carries through no matter what stands in his way. He takes initiative. If Vash is a passive character, Knives is an active character. Wherever he goes, he leaves a lasting imprint. He makes shit happen! If outside forces make things happen to him, he'll go out of his way to make sure that particular force doesn't affect him again.

These two tweets I saw are what got me thinking about this originally. I just feel like here's a good place to put them as a segue into talking about episode 11.

Episode 11 is where a lot of this feminine imagery really just. Explodes in your face. IT'S RIGHT THERE. You can't dance around it if you try. And it kind of reaches a peak when the connection reaches 100%, the gate opens, and. well. THIS happens to the Plants.

Plants, in both Trimax and Tristamp, are almost always typically feminine-looking. Knives and Vash are the only two who are male or even masculine at all. Knives, as the most masculine out of all of them, is the one trying to take charge, and mould the world as he sees fit, to a degree that is detrimental to both him and everyone else. And Vash-- passive, feminine, kind and nurturing, whose Angel Arm in the manga always sprouts decidedly feminine-looking Plant parts-- is the one being exploited for Knives' plans. It's no mistake that they made the giant plant formation at the end of ep 11 look like a giant woman that almost resembles Rem.

Vash wants people to make their own choices and keep their autonomy when it comes to their bodies and lives. Knives is the exact opposite. He wants all Plants to become independent and he uses Vash to achieve that goal, without asking what Vash wants or even knowing what the Plants themselves would prefer. He exploits Vash for the soul purpose of trying to make these Plants have Independent Plant babies. He's completely incapable of seeing that his choices are not for the greater good! He thinks he's saving them, but none of his actions are for the good of anyone but himself. He’s just violating them for his own gain.

They're really leaning into gender roles for these guys, but in a way that screams "HEY, LOOK AT THIS! ISN'T IT FUCKED UP? LOOK AT HOW FUCKED UP THAT IS. LOOK AT THIS, AND BE UNCOMFORTABLE, AND KNOW THAT IT IS FUCKED UP."

Because it is! It's so extremely fucked up. They're using this imagery and these roles, something that makes most of us intrinsically uncomfortable, to drive home how unhealthy Knives relationship with his ideal of Vash is. That's the point. We're supposed to be uncomfortable with this.

Now of course there's some nuance to it. Like, you could see Knives as somewhat of a feminine and/or queer-coded figure as well, ESPECIALLY if you look at some of his panels in the manga, which could in turn lead to themes about infighting and control within marginalized communities, but that might be something for another post. :3

And there's definitely different ways you could take this! Vash, with all this feminine imagery, could be either transfem or transmasc coded, depending on what way you'd rather see it, which could lead into themes of how people outside the norm constantly face a lack of bodily autonomy and are exploited for purposes outside their boundaries. We could also look at Wolfwood and his lack of choice over joining the Eye of Michael and becoming the Punisher, and how masculine men (particularly men of colour) are often forced into violent roles against their will. If we look at Trimax, the exact same could be said for Livio/Razlo and people with disorders such as DID/OSDD.

There are many different ways you could spin these themes, some of which I don't feel personally qualified to discuss. If anyone who is qualified to talk about Wolfwood or Livio/Razlo or even other characters related to these themes, then god PLEASE add onto this post or make a post and tag me or something. I would love to read it!

Anyway, in conclusion: Vash is a feminine figure constantly taken advantage of and exploited and and he's so incredibly trans/nonbinary-coded that it drives me insane. Thank you

[most-normal-eccles-cake-ignorer]

Good Omens: Lockdown and Crowley not mentioning his living situation in S2*

*till S2E6 when he asks if he can have his apartment back bc he's bored of living in his car but Aziraphale doesn’t hear bc mentally he’s in Alpha Centauri.

Having read the 'Crowley doesn't tell him' Neil Gaiman ask close to when I first listened to Lockdown (I lived under a rock until recently), my initial thought was HAS HE BEEN LIVING IN HIS CAR FOR YEARS?! but I think he was still in his apartment in 2020:

as far as Hell knows, Crowley just had a pool party in holy water (the holiest) so the higher-ups are probably willing to give him some space (plus Beelzebub is busy going on pub dates w Gabriel)

while there should be ~8 months between the end of Season 1 events (The Very First Day of the Rest of Their Lives on Sunday, Aug 25, 2019) and the Lockdown phonecall (on or near the 30 year anniversary on May 1, 2020), I can't imagine that's a very long time for Hell, especially if you're understaffed and busy dealing with fallout from Almostgeddon / going on pub dates

Shax dropping off mail and asking about the boiler seems like something one does in the first few months of living somewhere, not ~3 years in (if S2 is in 2023)

That said, I think the phone call underlines why Crowley never directly tells Aziraphale that he is living in the Bentley in S2, and it's just a great conversation (all hail Gaiman) sooo I wrote about it:

***Note: This post analyzes the Lockdown phonecall from Crowley's perspective only. Our heroine is feeling quite emotionally vulnerable at this point in time so things are going to hit him harder than they normally would.

I do not think Aziraphale meant to cause him pain (!!) but Crowley can't see that yet and I've written this post in a way that reflects that missing insight. (I explain in more detail in this reblog if you are interested) I am working on a companion post for Aziraphale's side of this conversation and how I think it affects his behavior in S2 because if we know anything about these two, it's that their exactlys are different exactlys.***

Crowley’s habit of sleeping to skip time like an RPG character by a campfire amuses me to no end, but in this context it feels heavy. Crowley already worries about losing time with what he loves and he probably hoped things would be different between him and Aziraphale after the events of S1. But things don’t change much. Then lockdowns start, and Crowley is trapped in his apartment alone, transcendentally bored, and unable to make his brain shut up. Sleeping a month away starts to sound less awful.

But Crowley hasn’t given up yet; he’s still awake when Aziraphale calls, and he’s even giving it two more days. Was he waiting for Aziraphale to call? Is it even possible not to at least kind of wait for someone’s call when you are cut off from everything and the caller has been your only friend and crush for millennia?

Aziraphale asks why Crowley isn't "out and about" tempting people or setting a bad example and he responds:

C: Everyone's so miserable and cooped up right now anyway, and I just… well… don't have the heart for it. A: *glowing audibly* I'm not miserable~ C: Really?

Crowley sounds genuinely surprised at Aziraphale's happiness and quickly assumes it's because the angel has been around people. He's so lonely/depressed/in his own head that he hadn't even considered someone enjoying being 'cooped up'. *sob*

Aziraphale goes No actually I put the closed sign up in the window and I'm having the Time of My Life, never had so few customers, not in 200 years!, etc. Although, he says:

A: …There were a few young lads a couple of nights ago who broke in through the back and tried to steal the cashbox! But they soon saw the error of their ways~ C: *clearly amused* Did you smite them with your wroth? A: Well I certainly gave them a good talking to, and I sent each of them home with cake~ C: *annoyed, swooning* Cake? A: Quite a lot of cake, actually. C: *physically ill from having such a giant crush on this dumbass baker/security guard* eeeekkkgghhh I'm gonna regret asking but.. ...rrgh.. *30 seconds of Aziraphale joyfully describing his baking while Crowley probably tries very hard not to imagine the angel eating each item in sensual slow motion* I stg you can hear him struggling in the background once or twice

A: …And once I've baked them, I have to eat them all myself, which was why I was so delighted— C: To send your burglars home laden with baked goods, yes, nnyeaayeah I follow…

Crowley interrupts, finishing Aziraphale's sentence in his nervous hurry to say the next bit:

C: *loud inhale* You know, I could.. hunker down at your place. … Slither over and watch you eat cake. I could bring a bottle--a case of… something… drinkable…?

He's trying to sound so casual about it but this is someone who was rejected/abandoned by actual literal God after asking what he thought were welcome, uncontroversial questions. Asking makes him vulnerable. He's supposed to be the rescuer, not a demon in distress. He does not feel casual about asking.

Crowley knows it's unlikely but he's so miserable and desperate for company that he can't help but ask, just in case. Even the smallest chance of spending time trapped indoors with Aziraphale—with nothing to do but drink, watch him eat, and talk about things they'd normally avoid—is too tempting.

A: *panicking* Oh I— I— I— I— I'm afraid that would be Breaking All The Rules! *nervous breathing* Out of the question! I'll see you… when this is over. C: Right. gnnehh. I'm setting the alarm clock for July. Good night, angel. *dial tone*

And just like that, Crowley doesn't need two days to decide. The depression nap doubles in length. He doesn't hear how badly Aziraphale wants to say yes behind the fear, or maybe he does and it hurts worse because why isn't Crowley enough for him? You can almost hear the spiralling:

SHOCKING, asking made it worse. It always does doesn’t it? Why even bother? you just embarrass yourself.. SLITHER over? why did I say that *grumble grumble* of COURSE His Holy Holiness, your only friend in the universe, would rather eat cake by himself while everything goes to shit than ~deign~ to have you in his presence. "AsK aND yE sHaLl ReCeIvE" bugger this for a lark im going to bed

(a bit dramatic but we've all been there)

I imagine sleep doesn't come right away. Maybe his thoughts drift to when he sat beside the angel at a dark Tadfield bus stop after a rather eventful Saturday. Crowley must've felt a tiny bit hopeful when he invited Aziraphale to stay with him: Heaven had withdrawn its favor and the bookshop was gone; Aziraphale was like him now. Didn't that mean things would change?

"I don't think my side would like that." Apparently not.

In the end, Aziraphale did ride the bus back to Crowley's apartment and stayed till the next morning when he caught a cab, but only to sell the illusion. Crowley understood that as far as sides went, the angel was still on Heaven's, even if Heaven wasn't on his.

And now this: the entire world is shut down; there is nothing for Aziraphale to do but stay in and read and bake in his magically reconstituted bookshop and he still won't invite Crowley in. Burglars and un-fallen angels only—nobody who asks questions.

So... of course Crowley doesn't tell Aziraphale when he loses his apartment. He already knows what answer he would get; the angel has told him so many times. Aziraphale is a company man first, a companion to one very sad owl when convenient.

If Crowley works up the courage to say 'please take me in, I have nowhere else to go' and Aziraphale goes 'sorry, no, far too political, but I WILL risk being erased from the Book of Life to protect this nude amnesiac former coworker who always hated me,' it's going to be too much. You can't sleep long enough for that type of hurt to go away. Better not to say anything.

"Then nothing has to change, does it?"

[bambi-kinos]

Why do people perceive John's love for Paul as unrequited? I confess that I fail to grasp this perspective. Paul is absolutely infatuated with John in every sense of the word. The difference between him and John, as Paul himself has stated, is that John voices his feelings out loud, while Paul excels at self-preservation; he knows how to navigate the rules of society while also enjoying the thrill of breaking them.

For the same reasons why Hanya Yanagihara wrote her eye wateringly boring novel "A Little Life." In "A Little Life" Yanagihara writes a Stephanie Meyer-esque novel about boys being turned gay via SA perpetuated by adult men and how they eventually grow up and become super rich and also they all have vague disabilities that cause a lot of pain but never get full definition because defining them would be inconvenient to the narrative. (Disabilities are debilitating and Yanagihara wanted to write about Sad Boys Who Were Turned Gay By Child Rape But Also They Are Rich And Go On Globe Trotting Vacations Everywhere All The Time While Being Depressed.) The point of "A Little Life" is not to tell a Sad Gay Man Story about the fallout from CSA, it is to depict a sexually exploitive miseryfest that uses disability as a way to pad the word count and add a layer of fancy fondant to the masturbatory and self indulgent text that makes it look more interesting than it is.

I bring this up because I think the phenomenon are related. There has never been a good justification for why Paul is magically indifferent or blind to John being a gay simp especially when you have so many examples of Paul being a gay simp for John in return. BUT it does make for an even sadder and more exploitive miseryfest where a Sad Gay Man died Forever Alone because he was so in love with a Happy Heterosexual Man who could never Return His Love and that is what a lot of people want. That's the only reason the narrative has any steam IMO.

It's just trying to make a sad story and make it even worse: more sad, more tragic, more gay, etc. If John and Paul were mutually attracted and in love with each other than that means they may have had stretches where they were happy together and that's unacceptable to a certain kind of mind. Because the point is the emotional and sexual gratification of seeing a Sad Gay Man Suffering, not to respect the Sad Gay Man and his story and the events and decisions that lead to his predicament. If Paul reciprocates John's love then the John and Paul love story turns into a mundane tale about a first marriage that started out happy but didn't work out because the two spouses grew apart over time. The point of "A Little Life" is the same, there's nothing genuine or cathartic about the Sad Gay Men or the Sad Painful Disabilities, they only exist so the author can circlejerk with her readers about how enlightened and noble they are. Needing the misery becomes all consuming to the point that entire rest of the story, the three dimensional nature of it, gets destroyed and swept under the rug. It's too real and some people just don't want to engage with that.

There's a mundanity to McLennon. Yes there was all sorts of stuff happening but at the end of the day they were just another couple trying to muddle through life together. The soulmate-ness of it all didn't save them when push came to shove. There wasn't a clear path forward for them to make up and get back together even as friends. This is much harder to bear for some people because it shows how the simple act of living your life can carry you away from the person who loves you most. John and Paul found each other but they still drifted apart eventually and stopped wanting to be together. The romance novel didn't end with "happily ever after." The fact that it was so relatable and downright boring is something a lot of people don't want to know or hear about. How can they jerk off to it? It's not miserable or indulgent enough.

Reducing their dynamic to Sad Gay Man Who Is Forever Alone and his Evil Oblivious Heterosexual Partner Who is Blind To His Yearning flattens it, makes it two dimensional, and thus makes it a lot easier to cope with and masturbate to, emotionally and sexually. And look there may be some people who genuinely believe this and don't type that narrative out with one hand, but they're outliers and outliers get discarded.

[katherines-imagines]

“Stupid bitches, be stupid bitches.”

pairings: hazel callahan x reader

warnings: angst, fighting, mean PJ, bad writing

summary: PJ starts yelling at Hazel, but her girlfriends not having it.

A meeting was called for the fight club after their revenge on Jef. As the girls started coming in, each had a mischievous yet proud smile adorning their faces. Y/N walked towards the back where her girlfriend, Hazel, was saving a seat for her. Sitting down, Y/N took Hazel’s hand into her own, playing with her silver rings. When everyone arrived, PJ began to speak.

“Alright, well, some of us clearly have a different definition of egging.” The girls gave each other knowing looks. “But if we keep our mouth shut, stay calm, we’ll be fine,” PJ finished.

“They’re gonna shut us down, aren’t they,” Sylvie asked sadly.

“What,” PJ laughed nervously. “No, we don’t know that. Why-”

“Principal Meyers will believe whatever Jeff and Tim say,” Brittany pointed out. “I don’t really see how we recover from this.” She was right, and all the girls knew it. As much as they could hope that the club would continue, after their little stunt, the club would be shut down.

“Man. Fuck,” Sylvie sad dejectedly.

“It’s been real guys,” Hazel said, looking bittersweetly to the group. Her girlfriend lovingly tracing her hands, nodding in agreement.

“Okay,” PJ interrupted. “Let’s not jump to conclusions with the, goodbyes,” she waved her arms around.

“I’m gonna miss you guys so much,” Hazel said, ignoring PJ. Y/N’s heart felt heavy from the break up for the group. These were her friends. This was her safe space. Now it would end, but she didn’t regret joining at all, and that made it all the more bittersweet.

“I’m like,” Sylvie started while standing up. “At least we went out with a bang,” Sylvie referred to the bomb Hazel made, causing the group to laugh sans PJ and Josie. “I mean, that was fucking insane!” The group laughed louder. “It’s just like, fire, everywhere” she continued, playfully hitting the girls.

“Wait, wh, stop,” PJ stuttered. “We don’t, wait, no, we don’t know that for sure,” PJ tried to deny, but the girls had already accepted it.

“PJ,” Annie stopped her with a sad smile. “Don’t be sad it’s over. Be happy it happened,” she smiled towards the fight club members, them smiling back.

“Alright, can everyone calm the fuck down please,” PJ said exasperatingly. “The club is not over, Josie? Right?” PJ motioned to her best friend, a hand motioning in her direction. Josie kept silent, PJ turning in disbelief at the lack of answer.

“No matter what,” Isabel started. “This club has brought me so much. I feel..” She took a deep breath before continuing. “So much more powerful, and, protected.”

“Me too,” Josie agreed, eyes showing vulnerability like the rest of the girls. PJ let out a sarcastic laugh

“Great,” PJ said. Hazel, tired of her attitude, interrupted her.

“Oh my god PJ, okay,” Hazel stood abruptly, her hand leaving Y/N’s grasp, causing her to jump at the sudden movement. “I’m sorry you didn’t get what you wanted out of this group, but I think the rest of us did.” She motioned towards the girls with a smile.

“Oh,” PJ spoke sarcastically. “Good for fucking you Hazel.” Y/N’s eyebrows furrowed, not liking how PJ was speaking to her girlfriend. “I’m glad that you finally wrote one email. Accomplished a lot.”

“I actually did, I practically ran this club for you and Josie,” Hazel said frustratedly. Y/N nodded harshly in support.

“Let’s calm down, maybe,” Josie said, trying to deescalate the situation, but it was too late for that.

“You really think that your the reason that we have this club,” PJ asked rudely.

“The reason? No, but I can tell everyone that if you want,” Hazel shot back. The girls heads snapped to Hazel at the comment, none of them expecting Hazel to have a mean bone in her body. Y/N stood up next to her girlfriend, hand going to the small of her back in support. As much as Y/N wanted to tear PJ a new one, she knew that Hazel had to do this part, at least, by herself.

“Hazel, uh hey, let’s calm down,” Josie said to Hazel. Y/N glared at Josie. Clearly PJ was the one who needed to calm down, not Hazel.

“You’re really ungrateful,” PJ snapped at her. “You’re so lucky that we even let you be a part of this.” How dare PJ try and glorify herself?

“PJ, your a liar.” A silence followed after Hazel’s retort, eyes turning to PJ for an explanation. PJ scoffed in disbelief.

“Yeah, well,” PJ started. Y/N had a feeling that the next few words that would come out of PJ’s mouth would make Y/N’s patience snap. “You have no friends, and a skank as a mom, so,” PJ smiled maliciously, as Josie looked at her feet. As the girls stared quietly, Y/N yelled at PJ.

“How dare you say that? She has friends, and you have no right so say something so atrocious to her,” Y/N said angrily, while Hazel stared in disbelief at PJ. Before Y/N could continue, Hazel looked at her friends in pain before picking up her stuff. Y/N followed Hazel’s lead, picking up her and her girlfriend’s stuff before following Hazel down the bleachers. Before leaving the gym, Y/N went to PJ’s face and spoke coldly, “If you every say shit like that again, I’ll fuck you up. Don’t you ever, disrespect her.” Shoving PJ with her shoulder, Y/N followed Hazel out the gym. While the rest of the girls watched them leave, Josie calling out for Hazel. When Y/N caught up to Hazel’s fast walking, she stayed quite. After a few minutes of walking quietly, Hazel spoke softly.

“What did you say, hun,” Y/N asked softly, not hearing what Hazel had said.

“Could you please hold my hand,” she shakily asked, quiet tears streaming down her face. Instead of answering, Y/N simply took Hazel’s hand in her own, comfortingly rubbing her thumb across her girlfriend’s hand. They walked in silence before Y/N spoke up.

“She’s a bitch.” Hazel let out a startled laugh of disbelief. “And not even a good one like me,” Y/N added, hesitantly looking at Hazel to see if it was ok to talk. Hazel laughed quietly, wiping her tears with the back of her hand. Y/N stopped the pair, Hazel looking curiously for the reason why. Y/N dropped their bags and took of her jacket, using the sleeve to wipe Hazel’s tears before putting it on Hazel. When Y/N picked up their bags, she took Hazel’s hand and continued to walk. “Don’t listen to her Haze. You know what they say about girls like her?” Y/N waiting until Hazel hummed in question.

“Stupid bitches, be stupid bitches.”

Hazel laughed loudly, hugging Y/N’s arm to stop her from falling.

“Y/N,” Hazel laughed.

“Hazel,” Y/N responded seriously. Well, semi-seriously. She couldn’t help the small smile growing on her mouth. Sighing gratefully, Hazel tugged on Y/N’s arm to stop.

“Thank you, love,” Hazel said, looking into Y/N’s eyes with love. Y/N swore she could feel her heart melt, warmth filling her up.

“Of course, pretty girl,” Y/N spoke softly, hugging her girlfriend tightly. Y/N was not going to let PJ get away with this.

No one spoke to her girl like that.

a/n: first imagine since I came back! if you have any requests from any fandom, please let me know. if I know the fandom, I will try and do it! Hope you guys like this one as much as I did.

[rekino2114]

Hmm, how about Asa mitaka being asked out on a date by one of her male classmates. And she overprepares like she did with Denji, though this time it goes better cause the Reader is an airhead that marches to the beat of his own drum, so he ends up dragging Asa to multiple different places and she ends up having fun.

First date with asa mitaka

Pairing:asa mitaka x male reader

A/n:I decided to do this in a non devil au cause my girl needs a break (sidenote but your relationship in this is literally the definition of black cat/golden retriever love. Just something I noticed)

I didn't realize i wrote this much until I reread it to color it but that should tell you how much I love asa and want her to be happy

Asa is an anxious person in general, especially in social situation and especially when it comes to romance. She never had a boyfriend and never really thought about having one, and she's very clueless to love as a result, so when one of her classmates (who she admittedly had a crush on too) asked her out on a date she freaked out incredibly hard.

Literally, every minor thing became a concern for her. What would she wear? Should she put makeup on? How much? Should she plan the date or leave that to you? Should she try flirting with you? (She quickly dismissed the last idea as she had no idea how to flirt, and it would make things awkward very fast)

She eventually figured out what she was gonna do and went to where she was supposed to meet you, which was a street near school. When she was there and didn't see you, her anxiety kicked in very fast. It felt like everyone was staring at her. Did you stand her up? This was probably all a prank, and she should have never accepted. After all, who would love someone like her? She was ready to go home and cry herself to sleep when a masculine voice interrupted her thoughts

"Asa! You came"

You quickly tackled her into a hug making the black haired girl blush intensely

"Y-Yeah obviously.....to be honest I thought you were gonna stood me up"

"Why would you think that? That's so rude I would never do that let alone to such a pretty girl"

Asa's cheeks basically caught on fire the moment she heard that and her brain struggled to think of a response

"T-thanks y-you look......h-handsome too"

"Aww thanks ok let's go now, we have a full day ahead of us, I promise you'll have a lot of fun"

"O-ok"

As soon asa answered, you held her hand and started dragging her around, which made her blush even more if that was possible

After a while, you two arrived where you wanted to go, which was an arcade.

"An arcade?"

"Yeah, you don't like it? I wanted to play some games with you but if you don't want to we can do something else"

"Oh no it's fine"

"Great let's go then"

You walked inside and started running around and looking at everything until you arrived in front of a cabinet and pointed at it

"Look they have DDR come on let's give it a try"

"Oh no I-I don't know how to dance"

"Neither do i, don't worry, you don't need to know how to dance to play, just step on the plates"

Asa started to think: if she said yes, there was the possibility she was gonna embarrass herself, but if she said no, then you would probably think she was boring and wouldn't like her something which she really didn't want to happen

"A-alright, I'll try"

"Great! I know you can do it"

You two started playing with asa actually having fun, the game was dumb but seeing you get so excited over getting a high score made her want to smile too, you eventually finished playing and continued going around

"*gasp* a claw machine! Do you want a plushie?"

"Oh no thanks, those things are a scam anyway"

You put your coin in before she even finished the sentence

"Come on it's fine, what kind of guy would I be to not get you anything, I'm a pro at this anyway"

"Whatever you say"

You spent.....way too much time and way too much money but eventually managed to get a cute plushie of a cat

"Yay!!! Finally"

As you grabbed it and held it to your date you quickly realized something

"O-oh sorry I never asked which plush you wanted.......do you like cats?"

"Yeah actually I love them"

"Oh thank god"

You gave asa the plushie and she spent a bit staring at it happily before turning to you

"If I may ask, why did you get me this in particular?"

"Well you just seem like a cat person, if that makes sense like your whole vibe screams I like cats"

"........is-is that a compliment?"

"Yeah I love cats, they're really fluffy and adorable"

Asa smiled and hugged the plushie tighter

"I agree, they're really cute"

".....you look cute when you smile"

"H-huh?"

"I mean you look cute in general but your smile is extra cute, it makes me happy to see you happy"

The black haired girl felt her heart flutter once more at your words

"T-thank you"

"Don't mention it, now let's go, the date is not over yet you know"

You two went (you dragged her) to a bunch more places to have fun, which asa actually did, which was a surprise to her because she usually felt more comfortable alone but in this instance she genuinely felt happy to have said yes when you asked her out, your positive attitude made her forget all about the worries she had before, she felt like she could just relax and have fun with you.

Eventually evening came and the date ended so you started walking asa to her home

"Ah that was great I had so much fun"

"Yeah me too........thank you"

"No thank you for accepting, I don't know what I would have done if you said no"

"......you cared this much about me?"

"Of course, you're so pretty and cute and fun to hang out with, I had a crush on you for the longest time, denji was pressuring me to ask you out for a while"

"Wow really? I-i just-it's still kinda hard to believe someone can like me like that"

"Don't say that, you're awesome asa and don't let anyone tell you otherwise not even yourself"

Asa felt like crying a bit, you actually loved her.......she had struggled with actually loving herself, the fact that someone else could say that to her with a smile on their face and with nothing but truth made her smile so brightly

"......thank you, thank you so much"

"It's nothing. Do you wanna take a selfie?"

"Hm?"

"I just wanna get something to remember this day. If we do actually become a thing, I would hate to have nothing of the first date with my amazing girlfriend"

"Y-yes alright"

"Great. Say cheeeeseee!"

You pulled out your phone and did a peace sign to the camera while making sure to get asa in the shot too, you saw her smile like she did earlier and you loved it

"This looks good, great smile, I'll keep it, but tell me if you want me to delete it ok? I'd hate for you to be uncomfortable because of me"

"Oh no it's alright"

"Amazing, oh hey isn't this your house?"

"Yeah it is, thanks for accompanying me"

"It's nothing soooooo.... second date when?"

Asa giggled at how enthusiastic you sounded

"I'll text you when and where"

"Great so we are having a second date"

"Of course, like I said, I had a lot of fun and would love to hang out with you again"

"Thanks so much, I'm really glad you think so"

You got close to asa and kissed her cheek which immediately got red, asa put her hand on the place you had kissed before looking back at her date who in the meantime was already walking away but turned back to wave at her

"See you at school tomorrow!"

Asa smiled before waving back at you

"Yeah see you"

[misc-obeyme]

When do you think characters fell over for mc?

When do I think each character fell for MC? Like fell in love with them?

I think for most of the brothers, it happened around the time that MC made a pact with them. Usually they had to go through some kind of situation that caused them to become closer to MC and to trust them enough to make a pact with them. I think you could also say that the pact itself strengthened their feelings and that once each one of them had made the pact, they were easily in love with MC at that point.

I'm sure you could go through the story and find when each character said "I love you" to MC for the first time. But saying it and feeling it are two different things. And Barbatos never even said it once!

I think you can kind of interpret this how you like. At what point prior to them saying "I love you" for the first time did they fall for MC? It never explicitly tells us, so you can decide for yourself when that moment was. Or perhaps it wasn't a specific moment and more of a gradual descent.

The only thing I can say for certain is that Mammon was first. Not only did he make his pact with MC first, but he spends the most time with them in the beginning. It stands to reason that he'd fall for them before the rest. Mammon is an interesting character, especially in the beginning. He's so annoying, but how much of that is just him trying to protect himself? Maybe he knows that he has a tendency to fall hard and fast. So he's trying to make it seem like he isn't interested in MC at all because it's safer that way. But then he ends up giving in because he can't help himself.

Everybody else takes longer, but is this because they're not like Mammon or is it because they didn't spend as much time with MC in the beginning?

Perhaps in the end, every character falls hard and fast the moment they meet MC. But they all do their best to keep those feelings at bay for various reasons. And Barbatos is the only one capable of holding out for any real length of time. Which is not surprising to me lol.

Anyway, I don't know if I answered the question, but I accidentally wrote a lot, as is my habit.