#i think what's funny *in regards* to me is that i wasn't born in the generation during which they were still in common use

[theophagie]

Sometimes I still catch myself calling controllers "joysticks" like it's still the 2000s

[chimken-nugget]

Drawing each arc I complete:

Power of Three

"gee whiz, i sure am glad crowfeather's not my dad !!" said crowfeather's accident babies for the tenth time that day.

Guess who my favourites were for this arc challenge (impossible) /j

(You can find my drawings for arc 1 and arc 2 here)

Anyways,, my thoughts on this arc (a long-ish read):

Leafpool and Squilf my beloved !!!! The only ppl whose reactions were reasonable to the secret reveal were Brambleclaw and Hollyleaf, given their characterisation. Everyone else's reactions were over the top and stupid. Lionblaze thinking he's not a clan cat anymore was stupid. Wth is Firestar then ???? 'one of the good ones' ?????

The Tribe cats book (Outcast) was a disaster that was only necessary to establish the Jaywing-Jayfeather connection. I may be one of the few ppl who genuinely loves the journeying and the tribe (i loved TNP), but this book reeked of colonialist ideology.

Sol being a professional BSer is so funny, brother just said whatever, and the clan cats made him more of a threat than he actually was. What proof did Blackstar have that Sol predicted the Eclipse besides the words of Thunderclan apprentices LOL

Literally all Sol had to do was sit around and look pretty, say some vague crap, and everyone ate it up LOL

Erin Hunters pls bring back Sol

Everyone loves Purdy. Your dad loves Purdy, your adoptive mum loves Purdy, the old racist woman loves Purdy. YOU love Purdy.

also,, 3 'controversial' hot takes:

1) I enjoyed TNP more than POT. idk maybe it's cos leafpool is my favourite character, so im biased, but POT seemed to drag and was a hard read with all the brooding and 'im better than everyone' comments hollypaw, jaypaw, lionpaw made every 5 seconds.

The last 2 books were peak tho- Erin Hunters cooked hard with the fire scene and death berries scene.

2) Hollyleaf not being one of the 3 is actually a good decision. ik the fandom has never rly liked this fact since it's due to such a silly reason (the authors couldn't think up a power in time), but I think not having a power made her story so much more impactful. Hollyleaf *wanted* to be special in any way possible (by being med cat / leader etc.), so to be able to make peace with the fact that she's not 'special' in the way she thought she'd be, is good character growth for her in the next arc. Hollyleaf's 2 character traits in POT was 'warrior code' and 'wanting to be special' so both of these elements being completely shattered for her was probably one of the more interesting things to happen in this arc.

3) Squilf and Leaf keeping the secret makes sense to me. When I read Leafpool's Wish, I was under the impression that starclan was insistent on the 3 having a "nuclear, stable family" which squilf and leaf interpreted as having to keep it a secret from everyone else (they were probably planning to take it to the grave).. I agree with the fandom that this secret thing wasn't handled in the best way, practically everyone already knew about the crowleaf situation BUT I do also think that starclan had their (stupid but kinda valid) reasons. The biggest reason would probably be to have the supposed 3 grow up loyal to the code from birth and in a healthy family, so that they wouldn't crash out when they discovered their powers and turn evil or smthn..

They were kits born from 2 codes broken, so knowing this from birth would maybe have them not rly regard the code with the same importance as others. Also, as accepting as thunderclan is, being a moderate clan is such a low bar to cross that the racism and discrimination Holly, Lion, and Jay would've faced would still be pretty horrible. Arc 2 and 3 brush up a lot on the fact that the other clans (and even cats in thunderclan) are unhappy with the way Firestar is accepting of anyone. If worst came to worst, I do think Firestar would have been pressured to exile Leafpool and her children, dooming the clans as 2/3 kin of kin are no longer in the clans. We already saw the clans threatening Firestar over Sol.. so yeah...

of course I'm just reading through the lines and the Erin Hunters in all honestly likely did it to put drama in their kittycat soap opera LOL

However, as the no.1 Leafpool defender, that is my take

[hooked-on-elvis]

What's with the "GODAMN IT! I need to sneeze and I can't do it..." Elvis quote in Lisa's book that's so funny but at the same time gets me so worried with Elvis? Was he really just the dramatic person we know he was or was something serious going on? Did you get it?

I think E was just being dramatic there (?!) Like... E could be so dramatic over things it's crazy! It doesn't matter if they were huge things or small... it sounds like as if to him everything was either tremendously marvelous, magical and bright or it got him to react like "the world is ending" type of way. We all know someone who's just like this, I believe. lol. Okay, now I'll start to ramble a bit but bear with me.

For example, there's this little story I've read recently in Peter Guralnick's book about the 1969 death threats Elvis received in Las Vegas during an engagement at the International Hotel. Peter wrote in his book, according to Elvis' friends recollections, that EP cried as he hugged his friends and family before going onstage that certain evening after knowing about the threats... He was positive he would die that very evening so he said goodbye to people (and he wasn't wrong about doing so because how could he know, right?) Thanks God, when the thing turned out to be just a really mean joke, a hoax to get money from him, one of Elvis' friends while recalled his reaction after finishing the show and stepping out of the stage as "It was strange... Elvis looked like he was upset he didn't got shot." I laughed so hard reading this! That, of course, is a much more serious issue than a simple sneeze but it sounds like Elvis felt everything so intensely it's kinda scary and hilarious at the same time. He sounds like one of those emotionally charged people who feel too much of everything - even tho he would not show it if he could avoid doing so. I think that is the best and the worst personality trait one can have, to be honest, because while those people are in a cheerful mood they are the best people to be around, very contagious, the life of the party and so on, but when they get moody they can look quite menacing to the people around them at times or pose as a threat to themselves in some ways. I think the Pisces in Elvis' astrological chart is responsible for this trait in his personality, the so called "drama." He had the Moon in Pisces. If you believe in Astrology, I think you'll feel interested to learn a little bit more about the personality of individuals born with the Moon under the Pisces influence. I personally think the most visible traits in Elvis' personality regarding his personal life can be explained, or a little bit more understood, if we read a bit about his Pisces Moon. I think it's what helped the external influence E had while growing up to mold him into the lovely, compassionate, deep thinker and generous person we love. Not all is about Astrology concerning human behaviors and personalities, I think, but it's one more way trying to understand Elvis' mentality, soul and heart. If you'd like to read about the Moon in Pisces, HERE, I think this website may be helpful.

[syndrossi]

What I appreciate about Daemon is how he has reined in some of his more violent impulses since becoming a father. He's always been hot-tempered and spent the last ten years at war which understandably would make a man feel more on edge to say the least. Not even taking into account the stress of the kidnapping... So seeing Daemon take his time to collect himself so he doesn't end up lashing out at his children and taking care not to seem threatening (his hurt when he assumed Rhea portrayed him as a villain to his own children? ouch!). I love to see him trying so hard to be a good father to Jon and Rhaegar so that they can trust him and feel sure and secure in his fierce love. I think some people (Alicent probably) would assume he's very stern if not a violent father so seeing those expectations subverted feels very sweet.

Also it's funny how he makes an observation that moving Caraxes to Red Keep would require a softer touch since he has been at war for so long but never thinks that about himself. Doesn't cross his mind that he might be tired and hurt after all the violence he witnessed there. There are of course more important things going on and he's very busy caring for his sons and holding himself together right now. He also doesn't strike me as someone who would spend a lot of time on self reflection. But I think the boys have now definitely picked up on his hurt regarding his brother and the war he fought and will be still forced to fight for him in the Stepstones.

Daemon and his children are very alike in this regard - they will give themselves away to keep their family safe with not a thought to spare for their wellbeing

Yeah, Daemon has two motivations now to keep his temper in check as much as possible. One, so as not to spark that instinctive fear/wariness that Rhaegar shows, and two, to not give his brother any cause to send him away from them. The latter is what we saw at the end of chapter twenty-two, when Daemon body-slammed a Kingsguard into the wall out of frustration and then actually apologized after. They're hard instincts to overcome, especially when born of protectiveness (hearing about things the boys have suffered) or fear (losing the boys).

The one time he doesn't hold back is against actual enemies, aka the sole enemy he was able to kill, the Volantene on the boat, which actually seemed to make Jon feel better. (Though if he ever gave into the impulse to actually torture someone for hurting them, it would really mess with Rhaegar.)

Yeah, on the war vet front, Daemon recognizes that his time in the Stepstones has made him occasionally dangerous to his children (like when they woke him with the blanket and he nearly accidentally killed Rhaegar), but he focuses on his failings, not reflecting that he's tired or in need of rest himself.

But I think the boys have now definitely picked up on his hurt regarding his brother and the war he fought and will be still forced to fight for him in the Stepstones.

You know, it's funny, when I initially read this, I was like "well, technically he wasn't forced to fight for Viserys in the Stepstones, that was his own choice," but then I took a step back and was like: huh, he kind of was? Daemon thinks that the Stepstones is a precursor to additional foreign attacks if they fail to show sufficient strength in fighting it back, and he already gave Viserys the crown for "King of the Narrow Sea." Ultimately, he is fighting for Crown at the very least, and since Viserys wears that crown, for him. (If Aegon II wore that crown, Daemon would do no such thing.) And Viserys chose to let the small council defund the war year after year, a part of him perhaps hoping that Daemon would eventually come back if it became enough of a struggle. Yet that was the very thing that kept Daemon there, the pressure of the entire war collapsing if he wasn't there to provide support on Caraxes.

And he's the one arguing to be sent back there, even though it's the last thing he wants, because it's ultimately the best way to keep the twins safe, to Daemon. With the Crown's full support and a few extra dragons, he might be able to finish in weeks what dragged out over years. When that's done, he might spend some time ruminating on the fact that his brother's willingness to leave them scrounging for forces/supplies for so long took eight years from him.

Daemon and his children are very alike in this regard - they will give themselves away to keep their family safe with not a thought to spare for their wellbeing

They are one another's greatest blessing and curse in that regard. That's the literal conversation Jon and Rhaegar have in chapter seventeen!

Rhaegar to Jon:

“Promise me,” he said, clasping Jon’s arm in a tight grip. “Promise you’ll guard your life as you do mine.”

And Jon flipping the script:

“Do not pretend you have not tried the same.” Rhaegar’s brow furrowed in confusion. “What do you mean?” “With Crayne, with that—thing.” You would give yourself away, piece by piece, for me.

Daemon is lucky that he hasn't yet had to witness yet how reckless the twins will be not just for one another, but for him. It will be a new level of terrifying for him.

[hawkinsschoolcounselor]

Regarding queerbaiting: Sherlock is one of the more famous examples, and the tumblr drama surrounding it is an... interesting story that I think is worth knowing if you want to understand the queerbait allegations.

The show, made and set in the 2010s, liked to poke fun at John Watson for being a straight man shacking up with another single dude. The show's creators -- one of whom is a gay man himself -- were born in 60s, so I see these jokes as two guys who were adults during the height of AIDS and Thatcherism taking delight in the fact they're now living in a world where queerness is largely accepted and somewhat normalized. A straight guy being forced to constantly defend himself from nonchalant assumptions that the man he's living with is his gay lover is funny when he's not in any danger of being hate-crimed over it, right?

(I'm not a fan of the joke personally, but I get it.)

They really liked this stupid joke though, so they used it again and again and again, to the point that young fans started to become convinced it was hinting at something. I can't blame them: there was even a lesbian character who fell for Sherlock and explicitly compared herself to John as someone who wasn't into men and yet was just so spellbound by this one special detective boi.

It was pretty lesbophobic imo, which should have been a massive red flag as to how the showrunners really felt about queer characters...

...But where the show went from annoying to actively hostile was the mystery of how Sherlock survived his apparent death at the end of season 2. The showrunners swore up and down it was solvable... and then when the next season aired, the "solution" was "lol who cares how he did it, this is a ~*character driven story*~ and only stupid obsessed idiots would want to solve the mystery. 🤣🤣🤣"

Make no mistake, they singled out the mlm shippers specifically for mockery -- there's a group of Sherlock Holmes conspiracy theorists in the show who argue over a theory that Holmes and Moriarty staged the death together and then kissed about it. (The viewer is clearly meant to laugh at this.)

Some of the Johnlockers on tumblr refused to believe this was happening to them and doubled down and convinced themselves there was going to be an amazing Johnlock plot twist at the end of season 4. My understanding (which might be wrong, I wasn't in the fandom) is that this contingent was largely composed of naive queer teenagers who blindly trusted a handful of influential adults who insisted that the show was deep and clever and didn't hate its fans.

So I can definitely sympathize with the folks who fear Byler is just queerbait. This too is a mlm fandom made up of naive teenagers trusting the adults who swear that the secret gay plot twist is totally gonna happen this time, trust me bro it's not called Surface Things.

And, look. I think it's very sensible to be skeptical of random strangers on the internet who insist they have the answers, no matter how authoritative they might sound. Keep on doing that, folks. 👍

But I think that principle applies just as much to the "this is just like Sherlock" doomers as it does to the "anyone who thinks Byler won't happen has no media literacy" lot. Yes, it's always possible that the Duffers were queerbaiting us all along... but the way Sherlock and Stranger Things approach queerness truly is like night and day.

Huh, well, if what you say is accurate, then it sounds like the Holmes writers were just jerks overall. I can see the joke, as you explain it. I may not think it appropriate to make it a running gag, but it's good for a chuckle or two. If it was truly presented as a joke, then it would be on the fans for misinterpreting it, but I don't know enough about how it was presented to know how easy it would be for fans to make that conclusion.

To me, it only makes it more apparent that things on Stranger Things are "night and day," as you put it. Will's feelings, and Robin's, for that matter, are not treated as jokes. They're treated as dramatic, emotional parts of their individual arcs. In Will's case, his happiness is linked to his relationship with Mike, which is complicated by the fact that he doesn't think he'll get to have a romantic relationship with him, or at all really.

I prefer to think the Duffers are better than whoever was responsible for what you described. While it all remains to be seen, they deserve the benefit of the doubt, for now.

[petitprincess1]

Warning: Hazbin Hotel Spoilers and mentions of SA

I dont know if you've noticed but there's been new drama on Twitter regarding one of Angel Dust scenes that depict him being SAd by Val and people got so mad over it saying it was incredibly disrespectfull, harming and insensitive to real SA victims.

While I agree maybe not everyone will enjoy that scene I dont think they should be surprised when it was announced that Hazbin was much darker than Helluva Boss considering its +18 calification and setting (also it makes sense when you consider Pride is inhabited by the worst of the worst and people got sent there as punishment for their misdeeds but get no regulation/sentence for their crimes and can continue their sinful acts while Hellborns were born there hence why they have a more grey morality-like Blitzø,Loona, Moxxie or Millie-and lower Rings actually have laws to ensure people's safety). The warnings are there for a reason, buddy.

Also people are talking about how bad it is to represent SA as what it is; something uncomfortable for SA victims and are comparing it with stuff that did it for laughs like Moral Orel in S1. Yes, SA is uncomfortable and ugly to watch but I think its important to have the representation as male SA victims (or just SA victims in general) get laughed at and blamed for something that wasn't their fault. And trauma isn't something pretty and people sometimes have not extremly good coping mechanisms to deal with it. It's raw,ugly and discomforting to watch but SA victims can relate to that and actually aive seen oeople saying that they had similar expierences to Angel and honestly it feels good to be seen.

Plus honestly this whe debacle kinda reminds me of how people victim blamed Stolas for also being a SA victim as confirmed in the Circus and went out of their way to villify him by implying that he must have done something to piss Stella off for her to rape him and concevie Via which is essentially the same as asking a girl or woman what they were wearing and blaming them for getting SAd. And also shame them for trying to cope with it however they can, like joking about it or glorifying it in attempts to make them feel not so shitty for what happened to them; like how they're doing with Viv for joking about her past trauma currently.

Idk it just feels like people, especially non SA victims, dont want SA victims to have visibility and go out of their way to say harmfull stuff like SA victims shouldn't be sexy or shouldn't have sex again in their lives which is more harmfull than good as youre basically shaming them into being unhappy with their bodies just for an unpleasant and undesireable expierence they had no say in it instead of healing. I get that its uncomfortable but it doesn't mean we wont to see Angel get better and be treated with the respect he deserves in future episodes.

I kinda find it funny they bring up Moral Orel, considering they did show rape victims in a more serious light in S3, which is what got the show canceled by Adult Swim. But yeah. I dont see what's wrong with showing how horrifying and terrible SA is. If it's because of his behavior, yeah...that's how he copes. Like, hypersexuality is a thing that victims of SA can go through.

Then again, I guess Antis know better than SA victims. I mean.........just look at 'em. /sarcasm

[mgjong]

You miss 000 so you should talk about her more :3

3, 4, 10, 24 for the ask game!!! <333

OMG 000 MENTION I GET TO TALK ABOUT THE WORLD'S CUTEST SYSTEM BUG (her name is read as "zero" for those wondering)

3. Was there any specific point / any specific moment that suddenly made this character your Blorbo, or did you slowly grow to love them more and more until they became a Blorbo to you?

Okay let me think. Originally I only knew her design and I found it. Uh. Interesting! But there wasn't much else. Then we get Glitchwave Nihil update and she is voiced by ALLEGRA CLARK??? Oh boy. While playing the event I wasn't very sure on what to think (except that uhm hello did you just kiss chief on screen????) but she started to grow on me... a lot. I couldn't understand why but I think her interrogation is truly what cemented it. I think the reason I liked her so much is how unique she is. Yeah everyone has seen meta characters before but the way PTN wrote her just feels so right to me. Regardless of what you think of the actual event, you have to admit that there's something inspiring about 000's story. Plus she is funny: another thing that really got me was her playfulness and attitude towards things. She can be a clingy silly little guy but she can also go murder the "gods" that deemed she was not meant for this world in cold blood. Fun! (Also yeah something something girlprince something something gender)

4. What’s the thing you love the most about your Blorbo?

If you know me, you probably have heard me yap about this one but aside from her previously mentioned personality it's her narrative. How it was written in a way that can be very easily read as a metaphor for the queer experience and/or feeling alienated from the rest of society like you are an error that should never have been born just because you are Different. And ofc, despite this still CLAWING your way out into having an actual life you can cherish and people that SEE you and care about your existence. Woah.

10. If your Blorbo were real, would you trust them with your life?

Well 000 being real is a littleeeee complicated given her entire concept kind of only works on a digital setting. Still like I previously said her experience CAN be very easily associated with actual real life ones so I'll go with that. Anyways, regardless, the answer is YES! She is extremely dependable and the connection she has with chief in game is one of my favourite ones when it comes to sinners that have shown interest in them. Especially given her interrogation. 000 is extremely ride or die, literally would defy the entire world for you. So yes, I would trust her with my life :D

24. If you could change one canonical thing about your Blorbo, what would it be?

Oh this is an interesting one. Hmm. Okay I won't go for easy pickings like her looks, I actually find them funny (no not because I find them attractive, I actually think she just looks stupid which makes sense given she designed herself with remnants of code she found around). I think if I wanted something changed it would be either her relevance to the actual main story (Glitchwave Nihil ended up being more about Moore than her in that regard but I understand why it's not the case given she is a meta character who HAS broken the game) or, going in the opposite direction, actually give an explanation to her in-game voice lines. It upsets me a little that she seems to be aware of the entire game interface and so by extension the player but we don't get any of that in the event story and she only seems to be aware of the in-game "real world". I don't mind if that is the case but I kinda wish they'd just pick the latter or explain the former. Did she develop some form of greater sentience after the game events? Is she still talking to chief? Or has she always been talking to us (it wouldn't make sense with her interrogation tho). I know the voice lines are just a silly little haha breaking the 4th wall thing but they bother me a little.

Oh and it would have been funny if she had kissed chief again after they rescued her from the files ya know just cause.

[thismoleculeisacomedian]

A few more DA notes (with some spoilers, obviously):

Wow, Rose really was Sybil 2.0. It’s almost uncanny how similar they are personality wise. I know a lot of people say that Sybil had a lot more depth to her than Rose, but I think that that was very circumstantial. Also… probably not a coincidence that Rose entered right after Sybil passed away? (My crack theory on this is that, as ghosts are a *thing* in DA, perhaps Sybil possessed Rose.)

I don’t know why, but Mr. Bates saying “because you think I’m A MUUURRRRDEERRREERRR” will never not be funny to me.

“Golly gumdrops, what a turn up!” Robert…. Please have some decorum.

"I always think of you as nomads, drifting 'round the world" I wish that someone had then pointed out that literally everyone who had to spend time around Susan spent that time wishing that she would go drifting 'round the world.

Ms. Bunting really was rude af. She reminds me of someone I knew in young democrats with whom I agreed with about everything, but who literally seemed to go out of her way to make everything as difficult as possible.

Why do almost all of the children born out of wedlock get named after their fathers? (i.e. Ethel’s son Charlie, Rose’s “friend’s” son Daniel… Just seems like an odd thing to do.)

It’s really mind boggling how much Robert tries to override Tom with regards to decisions concerning Sybbie. (Namely, when Tom chose to name her after Sybil, move away (the first time he thought about it), have her baptized Catholic, etc.) I understand on an intellectual level why he does this, but it should have been obvious (even to him) that he wouldn’t get to override her father.

"He's political" / "As long as he's on our side" yeah, no 💀

They really needed to have Daisy *grow up* a little bit between the ages of (I'm guessing??) ~17 (in 1912) and ~30 (in 1925). It was just bad writing to write her like she was still a teenager for the entire show. Plus, they refer to Andrew being like 18 (???) in 1925, meaning she would have been like twelve years older. To my understanding, women usually didn't marry men younger than them in that time period, and I'm shocked that this wasn't commented on by anyone.

Robert really knew how to read a room, huh? (/s)

Michelle Dockery is really good at using her face.

Mr. Carson was so much nicer in the beginning. Maybe him being outed as a dance hall performer really got his defenses up💀

[steampunk-christians]

A Journey Through God’s Ways #03: On silly atheism

💖 My dad is like a stereotypical hardcore atheist, in the sense that he gets genuinely aggravated by faith as a concept and is proudly dismissive of it, constantly sharing these edgy Facebook Posts about depressed people who need imaginary friends to sustain their mental well-being. Of course, I’ve been a born-again Christian since I was 16, but as my conversion happened with a degree of secrecy, as it involved talking to online strangers in the context of a crisis regarding my sexual orientation, well, it's not like he had many tools to figure out by himself what was happening (my own fault, of course). From his point of view, his son started to occasionally visit churches and talk about God from time to time, but since it’s always so easy to dismiss teenage activities as nothing but teenage activities, and I was so casually, strategically nonchalant about it (dropping small hints about the fact that I believe in Jesus Christ so my conscience wouldn’t accuse me of being ashamed of my Savior, but never being too explicit about it to prevent any type of anxiety-inducing confrontation) well, we hardly talked about it.

💖 When I turned 18, I left home to study in college, which made our already cold relationship a little bit colder. When I turned 24 (five years ago), it was my dad the one who left home (and the country!) to live with another woman, so our already colder relationship became… well, not bad per se, but there was no dimension to it other than some friendly phone calls every two or three weeks. I believe my dad must have either 01) forgotten about the "awkward Christian phase" of my teenage years, 02) assumed I had outgrown it, or 03) guessed I was probably still a believer, but highly casual and idiosyncratic about it. And to be honest, it always sucks when your close relatives don't know about your faith because it is so… shameful? Like, how am I supposed to preach the gospel to the nations if I can't even tell my dad that I think Jesus is kind-of-important? When not even your father knows about your faith, it does become easier to doubt that you yourself have it, since anyone would assume that the Holy Spirit's workings in my life should be evident after 13 years. I actually started this Tumblr guided by that specific fear.

💖 However, two weeks ago I had a conversation with my dad that was…quite unexpected. We were talking about the usual stuff, and then I said, "Thank God I have some good friends," and he was like, "Wait, do you believe in God?" And let me tell you: it was quite shocking how shocked he seemed to be, especially because what triggered his question wasn't a bombastic declaration of faith or a longing for martyrdom, but the most chill, nonchalant and impersonal God name-drop in the middle of an unrelated topic. If that was enough to prompt such a question, then why didn’t it happen before? However, I went: "………………………yes?" and that's how the somewhat funny chaos started.

💖 First off, he asked (very condescendingly) if I was going to become a priest, and then I said, "Well, I would actually be a pastor, since I am Protestant," and he was like, "What?" as if he wanted to yell, "You couldn't even choose the aesthetically pleasing religion?" (catholicism is quite massive in argentina, way more than protestatism). Then he said, "But you don't truly believe Jesus existed, right?" and I was like, "I don't just believe He existed, I also believe He resurrected." And wow, that’s when he started to get more agitated, claiming that believing Jesus could have existed was one thing, but believing in miracles was a completely different thing, to which I responded, "I also believe the Earth was created in seven days." At this point, I almost lost it because… I was having fun? Don't get me wrong: I wasn't being sarcastic, I was being dead serious and honest, but the tone was deliberately provocative in its straightforwardness, as if I was theologically trolling his shock by doubling down instead of trying to explain myself from a place of shame or anxiety.

💖 And then the conversation became a little more serious: once again, very condescendingly, he said that God and every other expression of faith are just man-made concepts created by people who are unable to cope with the deeper, more existential questions of life, or by people who can't deal with their own problems without the self-assurance that there is a God watching over them. I said to him, "Being a Christian does improve my mental health; it does make me feel better about myself despite some extremely hard challenges, but I don't believe in Christianity for what it makes me feel, I do it because I believe the Gospel to be the truth: what I feel is beside the point." By that time, the conversation was approaching its natural end, so he simply told me to say "hi" to my imaginary friend and left.

💖 And I can’t lie, I feel quite happy about this, not only because my dad is finally aware of my stance on faith, but also because, since the dawn of time, I have struggled with two different sides of my personality, both equally complicated and troublesome: my wishy-washiness regarding my faith, always fearful of how I might be perceived, scared of small public declarations of faith like adding one cross emoji to my IG bio; but also my bad temper when it comes to wordly topics and how mad I can get: I start screaming and swearing to the point where no one can take my side seriously, even if I am objectively right, because the way I am behaving comes across as too hysterical, unhinged, or butthurt. And that’s why I’m happy: I was able to showcase my faith in Christ in a way that felt confident and secure, but I was also able to keep my cool when dealing with his mockery, keeping it kind, respectful, and even acting slightly playful about it. And the fact that I ended the phone call without feeling anger or mental exhaustion? It feels like a massive victory despite the overall smallness of the situation because it’s something 16-year-old me would not have been able to do, and I believe that the longer we cling to these problems, the harder it becomes to be free from them.

💖 However, I feel obliged to clarify that I do love my dad a lot and that I am aware of the fact that he loves me a lot as well. He taught me (through actions instead of words) how to remain perseverant in the face of extraordinary challenges, but I am also happy to discover I am finally growing into my own person, and I no longer feel so intimidated by his never-ending condescension. And as I previously said, his questions were triggered by such a casual comment of mine that I have a hard time understanding why it took him such a long time to show himself visibly shocked at the possibility I might be a Christian. To be fair, I like to think that God saw I made a Tumblr with the purpose of stopping being so wishy-washy about my faith, and told me (in a loving-kindness manner): "Ready to take it one step further?" I really want this year to be different, and while it has been a hard start, I want to believe things will be different.

[argentumcor]

The Price of a Bullet

You can find the whole fic posted here, covering Jason's experiences during Arkham Knight.

Notes and thoughts if they interest you:

-I do think Jason was written consistently between AK Genesis, AK, and the Red Hood DLC. There's a complaint that he wasn't, and an accompanying complaint that the Knight is whiny, but that's assuming a level of emotional stability that he doesn't have. Reading AK Genesis, it's clear that Jason's narration regarding Bruce is cope, a product of his time in captivity and the Joker's mental conditioning. Bruce does care- he's just bad at showing it. That's clear in his interactions with the rest of the family, even Dick who would have known him before the haunting loss of Jason. On top of this, Jason spent most of his life from the day he was born being told he was worthless verbally and via physical abuse. Trust comes hard to him. The Joker in the Arkham games is very good at spotting things he can exploit about people, and when Jason was talking to buy time for Batman to come save him, he probably heard Jason's low sense of self-worth (self-esteem doesn't cover it), the perfect thing to use to break Jason to harness.

-Jason's snark is present as the Knight here and there on comms. He's not stable, though, unlike his depictions in other media. The "whiny" tone people complain about is more mania coming through as he gets close to his goal and his programming comes undone. This, I think, was an interesting way to split the baby- in the comics Jason being unstable is a concern of Bruce's to rather...extreme...extent (and unfounded, he isn't unstable except for inconsistent characterization like the rest of the DC cast). What is happening in AK is someone grindingly finding himself dragged back to reality after living in madness for a long time (no way in hell did he "escape" as late as Asylum; let's say it's been five years minimum and it happened during some other breakout).

-A quiet theme in the Arkham games, and in a lot of the better Batman media, is "truth beats lies." Batman beats out fear toxin, beats out Hatter's hypnosis, overcomes the Joker's mental infection because they're all founded on things that are not true. As such, Jason- as his student and his son- is able to overcome the lies the Joker and Harley put into his head in the end.

-It's beyond clear in game he has no respect for Scarecrow qua Scarecrow or any of the other villains he's pulled into this plan. People are mad about that, but he's hyperfocused and obsessive. It's a video game (sillier, yes, I said it) version of his plan, if for different motives, from Under the Red Hood.

-Dini might not have written AK but I'm pretty sure his notes were used or something. It has a lot of the elements I associate with his Batman writing- Bruce as deeply fallible, for one, the Joker as an unsympathetic and very real threat and charismatic. I think Dini found Jason's story a well of potential, based on how BTAS Tim is actually mostly Jason, how Return of the Joker's Tim plot is AK Jason's plot, and how Terry has a lot of Jason's attitude. Dini, for all his oddities as a writer in some respects, has a real gift for spotting things to punch up a character and situation.

-It's funny to me how Tim is the 'generic Robin' of the group so his characterization just gets kind of tossed around wherever the winds are blowing. I like Arkham Tim as the grounded reliable one, but he's Basically Jason in BTAS and in the comics his characterization seems particularly up in the air.

-The Arkham games are very silly, objectively- the whole thing with Titan, the entire idea of Arkham City, the Joker disease and how Bruce beats it, and so much more- but not to themselves. It's a story about a guy wearing a bat-inspired costume and being a vigilante. It is silly. The platonic ideal of a Batman story is silly with a violent dark aspect, cynical about human nature but hopeful about the power of love (brotherly, familial, romantic, agape, etc.), and it takes itself seriously within itself. From these can flow many things, profound, funny, and entertaining alike, and they coexist smoothly. I think the important thing with fiction is to meet it where it's at, especially as a writer, and this is especially true of these IP (modern myth, that's what they are) stories.

-Going through the game for Jason's timeline has been revealing about things I think were trimmed/changed. I'm pretty sure there's a missing Knight boss fight when Batman takes down the air defenses, because Jason just bolts for no reason (I rolled with this in the fic), to let Batman do as he pleases. I also think the vehicle boss fight vs. Jason in the grinder was supposed to be more complex instead of doing the same thing the whole time, but that's generally true of the vehicle combat: mechanically, it needed another pass across the board to make it a less repetitive experience.

-The Red Hood DLC should have been Jason fighting his way to the Asylum where he saves Bruce's life at the climax, potentially with contact with Oracle or even Nightwing which would have been interesting as hell. I really wish all the DLCs would have given us something at the scale of A Death in the Family; I really like these versions of the characters.

-I recommend this sort of fic, where you follow a plot through an alternate POV character, as a writing exercise. It has the merit of having known constraints you don't have to come up with but some creative give to figure out how the POV character got from point A to point B or figured out something or why he did something.

[bonefall]

Could you tell us some more about your Lizardstripe? It always annoyed me that the only cat in canon to point out double standards regarding kits was also the horrible mother that they blamed for all of Brokenstar’s issues. I’m glad she’s portrayed more sympathetically here though, with her friend group and role as Bluestar’s lawyer.

Anything out of BB!ShadowClan takes like, a Star Wars opening scroll of text to explain to an outsider and that's how I LIKE IT

It's my personal mission to inject nuance chemical into every woman demonized by Canon WC. Brokenstar isn't bad because he had a sad childhood or something, it was literally generations of culture turning toxic and demanding a cosmic reckoning from which he was born, moulded by, and ultimately embodied of his own free will.

Evil Women Who Weren't Good Mothers aren't responsible for his actions

Anyway, Lizardstripe.

She is gonna get her own summary at some point (I kinda want to do a ShadowClan Month at some point for the biggest ShC characters, like Nightstar, Russetfur, Stumptail, etc), but here's shards for now;

She's related to old Finchflight in some way. The timeline is getting reduxed and Finch is VERY dead by the time of TPB.

So she's either a child of his, or a niece. Finch is Yellowfang’s age (mid teens in TPB), Lizard is Bluestar's (10-ish)

She was a young mom, less than 2, she met the Forget-me-nots after she was already pregnant.

She wasn't actually raising Brokenstar, just suckling him. Ragged was doing that.

Lizard was still not a great mom. She didn't enjoy it at all, and was often getting bored and frustrated

She would often bring the kittens out into the woods on training exercises, activities they were TOO young for.

Runningkit, Deerkit, and Tanglekit were always covered in dings, bumps, ticks, and things that kept putting them in Yellowfang’s den as a result. Lizard was talked to more than once for this

When Brokenkit joined in on this, mysteriously, he was NEVER covered in dings. Like he was developing faster and was more agile than the others. Deerkit was jealous, Tanglekit thought it was AWESOME

Runningkit was developing a bit of a bully streak, realizing that he could exploit this by getting his sibs mad at him, and then hiding behind Broken

Lizard was always being forced to step in and take control of the situations by trying to break up the Dastardly Duo, but then would be OVERRULED by Raggedstar, who wanted his son to hang out with his friend

If Yellowfang didn't notice it herself, she would definitely learn through Lizard that these two should NOT be allowed to multiply their terror with power

But, that's more about them than Lizard.

She's a lot more than just someone's mom. She's a friend of Bluestar's, and the ShadowClan representative in the Forget-me-nots!

WOW her ShadowClan sense of humor is sharp. She can be VICIOUS

She often finds herself having to smooth her jokes over after making a comment that's too mean. What's just part of ShadowClan humor can be cutting to cats in other Clans

Oakheart is actually the one cat who never seems to get hurt, "i like your funny words lizardman"

She likes teasing Bluefur, she's just so easily flustered! And she cares so much about other people,

"Stars, you make me want to yack up a hairball, Bloof."

When Bluefur earns the name Bluemoon (unsure how yet) Lizardstripe b'awws that her nickname is going to be too cool now.

(In Clanmew, it's Luparfaf, Luf, vs Luparshom, Lum)

Lizardstripe and Barley Senior are the two smartest members of the group. Barley is all about logistics, schemas, building and working out plans for meeting up and not getting caught.

Lizardstripe knows what's going on in people's heads. She can be a manipulative mastermind, when she REALLY wants something.

I think she gave Blue and Hoprunner a lot of good advice on how to achieve their ambitions, but, she wasn't really interested in that extra responsibility herself

"What and have to deal with Raggedstar's wishy washy ass and his angelic brat more than i already do? I'd rather kiss a thistle."

What Lizi really liked in her life was the pleasure of it all. Sneaking around, teasing Bluefur, helping out Barley, wrestling Hoprunner. Playing games with her Clanmates, staying late at Gatherings.

She loves her freedom, the ability to decide where to spend her time

She was the first of the Forget-me-nots to die, a year or two after Bluestar took power, in a ferocious battle with WindClan.

Current draft: Talltail's son, Flytail, killed her violently in Heatherstar's Last Stand, the decisive battle that truly "ended" the Mothermouth Moorland War.

After that battle, ShadowClan lost a strategic area and could never regain their foothold. Raggedstar tried to surrender the next year, which was when Brokentail killed him.

Lizardstripe and Mudfoot being lost in the same year was one of the things he and Runningnose cited to each other as "reasons why" WindClan had to pay

If they died for nothing, if SO many had just fought in a war they lost... then it was all for nothing.

Warriors don't accept peace deals.

They fight, they fight to the last cat standing.

I think the news hit all of the Forget-me-nots hard. They hadn't met up in a while, their ambitions driving them apart over time, but... that didn't make it less difficult. No one thought she would be the first.

I think she's my favorite of the little friend group tbh, I'm fond of the Angel Lawyer Friend.

[skania]

hi! same anon asking about the bridge- the first one you mentioned. when aqua first broached the subject of breaking up but they didn’t reach a conclusion to that conversation

Hi anon, thanks for the reply!

hi! I really love your analyses on aquakane stuff, so ive been wondering- what do you think about the bridge scene? (past the stuff with aquas guilt- you know, because people elect to ignore it) a lot of fans point towards it to being why aqua and akane don’t work together/aren’t interested, but something feels off to me. wdyt?

I kind of have a lot of thoughts, so this will probably be a bit messy!

Things that stood out to me about this scene, in no particular order:

It confirms that Akane saw through Aqua and knew he wanted to use her for something. This is important because it shows that despite what Aqua may think, Akane didn't stay by his side because he "bind" her to him, but because she chose to. Even more important is the fact that what motivated Akane's choice is that she saw through him and into the kind person he actually is.

Right here Akane is telling him: I see you. I know that you can be manipulative and sly, but I also know that above all—you're kind. This is huge for someone like Aqua, who thinks so little of himself and who blows his own flaws out of proportion.

It's also kind of funny in a sad way, because by this point in the conversation, Aqua was expecting Akane to agree to break up with him. After all, he tried to convince her (and himself) that their relationship wasn't real, and Akane proceeded to list all the ways he was right. You can see in that bottom-right panel above that Aqua is closing himself off, expecting Akane to walk out of his life for good.

And then Akane turns the tables on him because to Aqua's surprise, she wants their relationship to be real. She knows the kind of person that he is, and she still wants to stay by his side.

The funniest thing about this scene though is that Akane, sweet, inexperienced summer child that she is, thinks that they can become a real couple if they're intimate with each other 😭

She knows that normal couples kiss and have sex, so she assumes that's where the problem lies. For her, Aqua wanting to "use" her is a non-issue because she's known and consented to it all along. This is why she looks so confused when Aqua says that he has been deceiving her:

Because as far as she's concerned, she's known Aqua's intentions from the get-go 😂 Little does she know that she isn't talking to your typical hormonal teenage boy, but to one who has the mind of an adult.

That said, I do think that the way Akane is fine being intimate with Aqua despite thinking that Aqua doesn't like her that way is an issue. Once again, this reflects what I mentioned before: Akane doesn't know her own worth! But again, this isn't a problem born out of Aqua and Akane as a dynamic, but an issue that Akane herself has.

Moving on, I think this is the first scene that shows that there's a difference in the amount of (romantic) experience that Akane and Aqua have. Usually, when Aqua and Akane have scenes, they're pretty much equals. You wouldn't say that one is mentally behind the other. In this case though, you can definitely see that Akane has an innocence to her that Aqua has already lost during his life as Goro, but that's to be expected. What's really important here though is that despite this difference, Aqua isn't any closer to understanding romantic love.

So in that regard, he and Akane are actually closer than one may expect.

Moving on, I think Aqua's and Akane's conversation there does give Aka an outing if he decides to go for platonic AquaKane. Ironically, this outing isn't there because of Aqua; at the contrary, Aqua's behavior there would help set up a romantic AquaKane ending.

First, we're shown that Aqua does want to keep Akane in his life, he just talks himself out of it because of his guilt complex.

We're even shown Aqua trying to convince himself (and Akane) that their relationship isn't real.

Now, this could all be perfectly platonic in nature, but we later have Aqua admitting that he has thought of being intimate with Akane.

So, Aqua wasn't trying to break up with Akane because of the way he felt for her, but because of his guilt and for Akane's sake.

Aqua thinks Akane doesn't have romantic feelings for him, and Akane herself doesn't seem to know if she does because he is her first boyfriend.

Of course, we know that Aqua and Akane find their answer during the trip and that they decide to date for real, which suggests that their feelings for each other are indeed romantic. However, nothing is stopping Aka from revisiting that and going: Actually, they thought they were/could be romantic, but they'd be perfectly fine being friends too. Specially because Akane wanting to save Aqua doesn't hinge on Akane being in love with him, and same goes for Aqua wanting to protect Akane.

The thing is, though: that doesn't mean that Aqua and Akane don't work well together. I feel that some people try to deny any romantic involvement between them not only to shoot them down as a ship, but to shoot their dynamic down all together. But that's a moot point because the series has made it very clear that Aqua and Akane love each other. Whether their feelings for each other are romantic or platonic is besides the point: there is love between them and it's sincere, and it won't be any less important if it turns out to be platonic in nature.

Case in point, the bridge scene is great because it shows their care for each other. Aqua tried to let Akane go for her own good, meanwhile Akane wants to stay by his side not only because of the way she may or may not feel for him, but because she sincerely wants to help him. She doesn't want Aqua to carry his burdens alone anymore.

Aqua appreciates this, and he opens up to her. She is the first person he shares his troubles with, and Akane lends him a listening ear and acknowledges how hard it must have been on Aqua. Aqua dealt with it on his own from the get-go and we never saw him complain, but it must have been hard on him and it's great to have someone acknowledge that even if he won't acknowledge it himself.

Everything he can tell Akane, he shares. From his findings, to his feelings.

And I think the panels above are the most important ones, because this is the moment when Akane starts to realize that Aqua has been lying to himself all along. He doesn't want to have revenge, he wants to be free. And in true Aqua fashion, now he is blinding himself to the very obvious loophole because he is that desperate to be free.

Akane gets this and she acts accordingly. Unlike Ichigo, who royally messes up by completely overlooking the fact that Aqua was desperately clinging to that loophole to break free.

Ichigo realizes it too late and he breaks Aqua. Akane wants to keep Aqua from breaking, so she plays along knowing that being free is what Aqua truly wants.

I'm stopping myself here because it feels like I've been rambling forever and I don't even know if this was half-way coherent or if it addressed what you wanted me to talk about anon, sorry about that! lol

[tinapaysmp]

@mcyt-yuri-week day 5: rarepair

I mean, it's already a rarepair to begin with even by s2. But this is like a personal rarepair week for me and my purpose is to try and spread my propaganda.

More ramblings under the cut:

Now, full disclaimer: I don't actually ship their s2 counterparts. Because:

I headcanon s2 e!Kath to be an aroace lesbian who couldn't even tell if someone is flirting with her. And I actually couldn't picture her ending up with anyone weirdly enough. Not even with Shelby.

Gem's canon this season just doesn't make me ship her with anyone. She has another life in Hermitcraft and the empires server is just very different for her.

But, that doesn't mean I don't enjoy the princess alliance. Heck, I jumped on the ship to be romantic the moment I watch them become business partners. Because, come on, they're both princesses. One of them's a monster slayer, the other one's not allowed to fight and couldn't defend herself. Like, hello??? Princess Katherine here to rescue Princess Gem? Hell Yeah!

But, but, but, I couldn't remember when but there was an incident in Joey's Skyblock series where people were discussing the possibilty of Kath being AroAce. I watched the clip and I was on board. I loved the idea of AroAce Katherine. (Other people's reaction to Aro!Kath I wasn't fond of tho but I shouldn't put that here.) And I found the premise of two people being attracted to her (Joey and Shelby) while her not being attracted to either of them funny.

But at the same time, I also like her being a lesbian or bi. So, it ended up with her being AroAce Lesbian.

Now, this was before I started shipping KathGem. So, what's the issue? Kath's an AroAce Lesbian and Gem's Bisexual. Nothing wrong with putting them in a relationship, right? True.

But, here's the thing. Through the duration of the season, I personally can't see them get together.

With Katherine, she was too focused on curing her kingdom's curse to even think about dating. And by the time she got her lands cured, Gem......left. Meanwhile, Gem didn't wanted to get too attached. She knew she was leaving for good ones she's done. Maybe she did had a thing for Katherine but decided not to do anything about it.

Now she's back in Hermitcraft, never to look back in the world where she met the princess who was cursed from the day she was born.

And that too is yuri

So, yeah.

But, maybe one day I could explore different AUs regarding s2. Especially with some KathGem if I could.

[buttercupcooks06]

Helloo, saw you had a Legionaire OC, what are his relationships like with other legionaires? Does he meet the Burned Man or does he think it's a myth also?

My Legion OC is one of my couriers, so he wasn't really born into it. I have other posts explaining his lore in the faustus (oc) tag, so I'll only answer the specific questions w/o much context :) He joins the Legion because it offers him things other factions don't: safety, glory, and even being object of worship if he plays his cards right, somehow. And he needs that, because he needs to be admired and to feel important in order to feel satisfied. He gets the Enclave remnants to support the Legion and submits to Caesar, who he actually does look up to. He knows Caesar basically bullshitted his way into godhood, and he thinks he's an icon for that, so he's one of the few people he can respect and submit to without feeling like he's eating glass. Regarding other legionaries, it depends. He works really hard to reach Caesar's status of godhood, so he can become Caesar himself once OG Caesar dies, so he's eventually worshipped and submitted to by the guys. He likes that, of course. He also does think a lot of them are morons or worse, but it's okay, because they're morons who don't think they're better than him, and because they can be useful to him in other ways. However, he does appreciate the more cunning men of the Legion, especially frumentarii, moreso his pookie/right-hand-man/future legatus Vulpes Inculta. The Joshua thing is kind of funny, imo. At first he just thinks the Burned Man is some made up shit the slaves made, so it's whatever. He goes to Zion with Vulpes, because they want to supervise the White Legs' work while undercover. Now, it really is hilarious when their caravan gets ambushed and they meet Follows-Chalk. "follow me and meet my leader" "okay." The leader in question was Joshua Fucking Graham and Vulpes is at the entrance of the cave wanting to die and Faustus is talking to the man and freaking out because that shit has to be a cruel joke from god (me). He ends up blowing up Joshua <3. More killing blah blah Daniel dies idk I didn't enjoy the dlc all that much he gets cool armor and nice guns.

Telling Caesar was probably worse anyways. heyyyyyyy boss can we talk for a sec. yeah do you see this gun. this special gun. that i might have gotten from your ex legate. yeah cool i don't see it either and he was definetely not alive and he was very dead and that did not happen but uh he's dead-er now. cool. we will never speak of this again.

[cainluvr69]

Let Me Tell You The Story Of A Rainbow - Chapter 10

Previous Chapter

Aslan: No, that would be…the world that she sees.

Akira: Huh…?

I abruptly recalled what Snow and White had told me. The creatures depicted in the picture book we received do exist in reality, but they aren't seen very often--phantoms.

Akira: …I was told that the wonderland she draws and writes about is one that even very powerful wizards don't get to lay eyes on very often. Is it really…something Miss Luca can see?

Aslan: Yes, it is. It's really something beyond what you and I can try to imagine, isn't it? …She's always had the power to see such things, even before she knew how to differentiate it from what was actually in front of her. We can't see the things she does, but to her, that wonderland has always been right before her eyes. She can see sea-green clouds in the sky, the ripples across a pink lake, strange plants and odd flowers swaying in the breeze, and she can smell their fragrant perfumes…

Akira: …And the fluttering rainbow-colored butterflies, and those animals running across the hills, too…?

Aslan: Yes. Everything about that landscape is the "reality" that's reflected in her eyes.

Akira: Why are you so confident she can see it? I mean, it's not like you can see it too…

Aslan: Haha, well, funny you should mention that. To tell you the truth, at first I actually just assumed that all wizards could see the things she could. That all of them could see strange and wonderful things that we humans could not. Luca was the first wizard I'd ever met, you see. She would talk happily about things I couldn't see, and painted the world I could see, but in completely different colors… She turned what she saw into art and turned it into a story, and that let us see it, too. It's always very exciting for me, to be honest.

I could hear the timbre of honesty in Aslan's voice as he very calmly recounted all of this to me. The way he talked reminded me of a little kid attracted to the mystique of things yet unknown.

Aslan: Ultimately, though, I wasn't very surprised when I found out later that it's actually a very rare talent. Luca is loved by the world that she sees. And when I see that world in her art and in her writings, it really feels like those plants and animals are things that she lives alongside. Like an author who only writes stories about their hometown. It's that kind of familiarity.

But despite how happily Aslan seemed as he talked, I could see a faint shadow of worry in his eyes, too.

Aslan: But…even though for her, it's something she's seen since the day she was born, the average person isn't going to understand that. When she talked about the world she saw, she was treated like she was lying or trapped in delusions, so she was ostracized for being "unpleasant", and…it seems she was treated very cruelly…

I'm sure it was just my imagination that his voice cracked a little. I imagined what it would be like if I couldn't share the things I could see and reach out and touch with the other people around me. I thought of the girl in question and how she seemed scared of something, her eyes downcast and her heart closed off to outsiders, and my chest clenched painfully.

Akira: Um… What about her parents? She's still just a little girl, so does she at least have a home to return to…?

Aslan: I don't have all the details, but as far as I'm aware, she doesn't have any relatives. I first encountered her while I was visiting Eastern Country to look for new pieces of art to add to our collection, and took her into my care. At the time, she wasn't…she was obviously in a bad state, to put it delicately. …I think the choice I made back then was the correct one, but I also think that I was the lucky one in regards to our meeting.

Akira: …Huh?

Aslan: Because I was the one who was charmed by that rare talent of hers.

His amber eyes, so straightforward in their gaze, with no falsities or hesitation clouding them, were the same color as the warmth of the sun.

Aslan: When I first found her, all she had to her name were a thin stack of papers and pen made from the branch of a tree. A breeze caught some of her papers and even though it was only a glimpse of that world, my heart was still gripped. It was truly beautiful… It overflowed with a strange charm that to this day I still haven't seen in anything else. It was like…like a baring of the soul. That sort of beauty. At first I tried to tell her that--or rather, I did tell her that, quite enthusiastically--but she didn't accept any of my praise. She had spent so long on her own, unable to trust anyone, that her heart refused to listen to what I was saying.

Aslan closed his eyes, lost in his reminiscence, and then he slowly took a deep breath.

Aslan: She is as gentle and delicate as the world she illustrates. I want to show the world her world. I want everyone to know who she is.

Akira: …I'm sure you'll be able to do it. Once they open the cover of one of her books, they'll immediately find themselves captivated. That's what happened to me. And not just me, either. Everyone in the manor, both the young wizards and the ones that had lived for centuries, was captivated by the world in Miss Luca's book.

Aslan: Oh… Thank you so much! I'm hoping this exhibition lets a lot of people get exposed to her work so she can have more confidence in herself. That's why…

???: Kyaa…!!

There was a sudden loud noise and a scream that followed it.

Aslan: That was Luca's voice…!

The words were hardly out of Aslan's mouth before he was off like a shot, with me close behind.

✦✧☾✧✦

As soon as we arrived at the picture book display, we saw a small someone crouched in its center…Luca. Rutile was next to her, his arms around her trembling shoulders, and Heathcliff was crouched down with her, too.

Akira: Rutile, Heathcliff! What happened?

Now that I could get a better look at them, I saw a largish book next to Luca. It had fallen open, and I could see something that looked like ivy reaching out of the pages, squirming like worms across the floor.

Aslan: Oh, Luca… Did it happen again…?

Luca: N…no.

She shook her head, voice quiet. Her eyes were shaky and unfocused--she looked terribly upset.

Heathcliff: Um… She didn't do anything wrong. Rutile and I just startled her on accident.

Rutile: We saw her holding one of the books and called out to her, and that surprised her so much that she dropped it. That's all that happened. Isn't that right, Luca?

Luca: …

Suddenly, everything seemed to start to glitter, like a mirage in the desert. Rainbow-colored scales, like those from a moth's wing, danced through the air around Luca even though there were no wings for them to fall from.

Luca: …Roxy.

Luca's words were barely more than a whisper as she stared blankly at…nothing. There was nothing there.

Akira: (…Roxy?)

Aslan knelt down next to Luca and gently rubbed her back.

Aslan: I'm not going to be upset with you, Luca. Take a deep breath and calm down. Everything's going to be fine. Your exhibit is going great. There's nothing you need to be worried about, because I'm right here with you. Your world is going to make everyone happy. I promise.

Luca said nothing, her eyes on the floor, her small mouth pressed into a tight line. But once Aslan put his big hand on top of her head and gently stroked her hair, Luca's shoulders drooped in something like relief.

Aslan: She's very close to finishing a new work, so I imagine she's a bit tired. This is the first time she's done a public exhibition of her work, so we've both been a bit on edge, too…

Aslan looked at the vines creeping out of the book that had fallen to the floor, and took a breath. Luca's delicately fine silver hair swayed as she leaned closer to Aslan, but she said nothing.

Heathcliff: …We wizards use magic with our hearts. So when our hearts are in turmoil, our magic starts getting unstable, and we can't cast spells as well as we normally can.

Aslan: Magic comes from…the heart…?

Heathcliff: Yes. I've had times where I'm so worked up that I can't use my magic well, too…

Heathcliff smiled a little bit as he spoke, his words as gentle as a spring breeze. His voice was overflowing with kindness.

Akira: …I know how it feels when you're so anxious your heart starts to harden. I can't do things the way I want, and I start getting all worked up… That's how it is for me, a human, and I know it's even worse for those of us who need their hearts at peace to use their magic. For example…I was horribly nervous when I was first pulled into this world and didn't know a thing about anything. And the reason I was able to finally relax and pull myself together was all thanks to that blonde boy there.

Heathcliff: Do…you mean me?

Akira: Yeah. When I was facing my very first morning in the manor, we made ojiya for breakfast together… You gave me some sugar, and just like that, my heart calmed itself right down.

Heathcliff: Oh… Right, I remember that. That really takes me back. I'm a little bit embarrassed, but I'm still happy to hear you say that, Master Sage.

Luca: ……Sugar?

The word that fell from Luca's peach-pale lips was a hope sweeter than honey. Even as she continued to cling to Aslan's suit, she turned her wide eyes to us, peeking through her bangs.

Rutile: Put out your hand, Luca.

Rutile's smile was the perfect gentle invitation--Luca hesitantly held out one hand, fingers spread out like a maple leaf. Rutile pressed one finger to her palm and drew it over her skin, leaving little stars of sugar in its wake.

Luca: …!

Aslan: Woah, it appeared out of nowhere…! Was that…magic?

Rutile: Yes. Wizards can't create something from nothing, but our sugar is made from our magic. So, Miss Luca. If you eat this, it'll make you feel better and help your heart ground itself again. You look like you're not feeling too well, but I'm sure it'll help with that, too.

Luca: This is…sugar…

Shino: What, you're a wizard and don't even know that?

I turned towards the sound of a familiar voice, and saw Shino, who'd walked up next to me without me noticing. I saw Arthur, Mithra, and Murr, too--they must have heard Luca's scream and come to see what had happened.

Luca: …It looks like little tiny stars. I can eat them?

Rutile: Yep. They're all yours!

Akira: It's very sweet and delicious.

Luca: …

She stared at the sugar in her hand with her big, lavender eyes. She was hesitant but at the very same time, she was curious. And then…all of a sudden a long arm reached out and stole the sugar right out of Luca's palm.

Akira & Rutile & Heathcliff: ?!

Mithra: Crunch.

Akira: M--Mithra…!

Next Chapter

[tired-truffle]

Something’s Gotta Give

A CullenxLavellan fic

Chapter Word Count: 5.4k

Part 9 - You Can Breach Me Any Day

"I am not a creature that was born. l am a fire that was set." - Moss Angel the Undying

Masterlist

The Chantry was not Ash’s favourite building, but there was something to be said for the sturdiness with which it was built. Perfect for blocking out all sounds of revelry and celebration, and exactly the kind of hiding spot a stoic, fun-averse Commander would seek out. 

Walking through the eerily empty hall, Ash pushed all distractions aside in favour of stalking her prey. There was no room for thoughts on how Love had throbbed and pulsated with power as she’d channelled her magic into the gaping, green monstrosity of the Breach.

Pushing open the war room door, memories of the Breach vanished, replaced by an irreverent need to poke and prod at the disgruntled man who stood with his back to her. 

“Yes?” he snapped with no small amount of bite to his tone. One would think that he would be happy at a time like this, their task complete, the world saved. Leaning over the war table, examining the pieces of the Inquisition’s influence, and snapping at anyone who interrupted him was a strange way to celebrate. 

“If now is a bad time I can always return later,” Ash said, her canines sparkling in the low candlelight as she curved her lips into an impish grin. 

Cullen's gaze slowly shifted in her direction, his tired eyes glancing down at her body before he seemed to register their subconscious movement. Leaning against the doorway and popping her hip out, she was pleased she had taken the time to change into her favourite robes. Even if her chest plate covered the plunging neckline, the slits up to her hips cut quite the figure, and it wasn't long before a faint dusting of blush began to colour his cheeks as he realized where his eyes had wandered. 

"Yes, no, I-" the Commander stuttered, his stern demeanour faltering. He forced himself to look away, clearing his throat as stared at a random point on the floor. "You can stay.”

Permission granted, she took a step forward. “I came to see how you were feeling after the weak little mages managed to close the Breach. Does it have your Templar knickers in a twist?”

Cullen let out an exasperated sigh as he turned away from the door, running a hand through his carefully styled hair.

"My 'Templar knickers' are perfectly fine, thank you for asking," he retorted, dry and laced with a hint of sarcasm. Her favourite. Maybe he wasn’t in as sour of a mood as she had originally thought. 

“And the mages?”

"The mages did…better than expected," Cullen conceded. "We successfully closed the Breach, and that's what matters most." He shifted his weight as he regarded her with a weary yet resigned look. “I can't deny that their abilities proved to be quite helpful.”

Ash raised an eyebrow. “So you no longer disagree with your Herald’s decision to recruit them?”

Cullen sighed, his expression growing more serious.

"I still have my reservations." He folded his arms over his chest, widening his stance. "Working with so many mages comes with its own set of challenges and dangers."

“You’re right.” Ash waved her hand about in a lazy attempt to imitate magic. “We were just about to organize a blood-magic possession circle, invite some demons to join, would you care to attend?”

"Very funny," Cullen replied dryly, his hand resting on the hilt of his sword. "I'm simply trying to be careful," he continued, “I want everyone to be safe, mages included."

“I don’t know what us poor mages would do without our valiant saviour.” Ash placed a hand over her heart, pushing out her bottom lip in a pout.

"I'm serious, possession is no small matter," Cullen retorted, his tone carrying a hint of indignation. 

Little did he realize that Ash was personally familiar with the dangers of possession. “I know,” she said, the sarcasm having been replaced by something softer, sadder, almost. 

Cullen gave a small nod in acknowledgment, the irritated lines of his face smoothing out. 

"I've seen what mages can do when they’re not careful," he admitted quietly, his gaze flickering away from her. "I…I just don't want to see anyone harmed, or worse, possessed by a demon."

“Most people don’t,” Ash said with patient amusement, shoving down the pang in her heart at his casual hatred of possession. It was a normal reaction, she had never met anyone who didn’t think that way, besides Solas and maybe Varric. Yet still, it was just another reminder that they would never be compatible. The minute he learned of her possession she had no doubt that there would be a sword to her throat. 

Cullen let out a weary sigh, his fingers tracing an invisible pattern on the war table behind him. "I have to consider every possibility no matter how unlikely. It is my duty to keep our people safe.”

“Yes, yes, you’re a very serious, very staid Commander,” Ash intoned, stepping forward to close the space between them. Looping her arm through his - and ignoring the startled widening of his eyes - she tugged him towards the exit. “But the Breach has been closed and everyone is celebrating, now is not the time to be locked up and brooding in the war room.”

"I'm not brooding," he grumbled somewhat petulantly, allowing himself to be guided towards the door. "I'm just contemplating."

“Contemplating broodingly.” If he truly didn’t want her to continue pulling him, Ash was well aware that he could easily stop her with just his physical strength alone. While he gave a mild resistance, he allowed himself her to continue, a small, almost undetectable smile tugging at the corners of his lips. “Either way that is terribly boring and there is a party outside.”

"I've never been one for parties," he admitted with an exhaustion born of a life spent much too seriously. "They're too loud, chaotic, and people get too…well, drunk."

“You may stand at the edges with the other recluses if you wish, but your men would appreciate seeing you, I’m sure. Their Commander should be at the celebration of all their efforts, right?”

"Very well," he conceded with a sigh. "I'll make an appearance, but I can't promise to stay longer than an hour. There’s still plenty of work to be done even with the closing of the Breach."

“We’ll see.”

They exited the Chantry and stepped out into the cool night air, the sounds of laughter and music and triumphant revelry washing over them. Golden lantern light illuminated the yard where a great bonfire crackled merrily. All around, people were singing and dancing, their faces flushed with joy and ale.

Some strummed lutes while others pounded on drums in a lively rhythm. The smell of roasting meats and freshly baked bread mingled with the sweet scent of embrium that lay stacked in crates off to the side.

Ash scanned the crowd, picking out familiar faces. There was Sera, precariously balanced atop a barrel as she scanned the crowd for a target for her latest prank. Across the way, Dorian lounged elegantly against a wooden pillar, sipping wine while chatting amiably with Vivienne. Bull could be heard booming out a bawdy tavern song in his deep baritone while the Chargers clapped along.

A grimace settled onto the Commander's face, wincing at the sheer volume of the party. Yet he stayed at her side, continuing to allow her to walk him towards the bonfire. 

Ash nudged his side with her elbow. “It’s not so bad.”

Cullen reluctantly nodded, resignation and mild irritation pulling at the lines around his eyes. "It’s not as terrible as I thought it would be. But I still don’t understand the appeal of getting drunk and flailing around to loud music."

Ash shrugged, never one for drunkenness, though she was partial to the flailing. “People like to let loose, ease a little tension sometimes. Of course, there are always other ways to relieve tension. I’m sure you could find someone here willing to help you with that.”

The flush that bloomed across his cheeks rivalled the rich colour of the roaring flames, and it only made Ash’s wolfish grin grow wider.

“I, uh, Maker’s Breath.” He turned his face away from her in a vain attempt to hide his embarrassment.

Ash was feeling merciful and she didn’t let him stew for long. “But if that’s not what you’re looking for, maybe you should join Solas.” She pointed in the direction of the elvhen apostate, leaning casually on a wooden barrel, watching the revelry with quiet contemplation.

Eager to move on from her suggestive comments, he said, "Ah, Solas. He has a certain detachment that I sometimes envy,"

Ash snorted, entirely unladylike but true to her feelings. “That’s one way of putting it.” 

But before they could discuss Solas’s detachment any further, Rae's voice pierced through the revelry, calling out Ash's name. Ash turned, spotting her sister on the outer edges of the dancing circle, her arms waving frantically and a wide grin on her face.

“It seems I’m being called away, maybe I’ll save a dance for you.” Ash winked, realizing belatedly that her arm was still tucked in his, and released him from her grasp.

“Ah, yes, off you go,” he said with a reluctance she found rather curious. Was he upset to see her go or displeased at the idea of having to join her for a dance?

She could examine this later, for now, she made her way through the crowd, dodging drunken partiers as she went. Rae grabbed her hand as soon as she was close, pulling her into the circle of dancers.

"Come on, let's show these Shems how it's done!"

Ash grinned, and with a nod of assent, the musicians picked up the tempo. Ash and Rae began the steps of an old Dalish dance, their bare feet moving nimbly over the gravel and dirt.

They twirled and leapt, blonde hair flying as they lost themselves in the rhythm. No one paid them much mind, too caught up in their own celebrations to judge that of two elves stomping and clapping along to the beat. However, out of the corner of her eye, Ash thought she spotted Cullen watching with an odd little smile. She felt her cheeks grow warm, suddenly self-conscious, but then Rae was grabbing her hands again for the next intricate spin and she forgot all about it.

The dance ended with the sisters back to back, chests heaving from exertion. Rae hugged Ash excitedly, the smell of alcohol wafting from her breath.

“That was fun! But not enough people were watching, we should do it again!”

Ash laughed. "I don’t think a second round will help any." Her gaze flickered to Cullen again, but he had turned away. She shouldn’t have been as disappointed about it as she was. “Besides, I’m sure they have better things to watch, the Keeper never did praise us for our dancing skills.”

Rae nudged her shoulder. "The Keeper never had any praise when I was involved. But there was at least one special someone who watched you specifically. Don't think I didn't notice you making eyes at Commander Cullen."

"What? No!" Ash protested, but she could feel her traitorous blush deepening. Rae cackled gleefully.

Before she could tease Ash further, Dorian appeared beside them, bowing gallantly. "My ladies, I am sorry to interrupt, but Ashvalla, may I have the next dance?"

Ash gave an exaggerated curtsy in return. Rae rolled her eyes, waving her sister off as she launched herself in the direction of Sera, likely to get up to no good.

"Why Dorian, I would be delighted." Ash offered him her hand. "I should warn you though, I don't actually know any of these Sh-uh, non-Dalish dances."

"Not to worry, I shall lead and you simply need to follow," Dorian reassured her with a charming smile. He drew her into the steps of a quick waltz, expertly guiding her through the strange but not entirely difficult footwork.

Ash stumbled a bit at first, eyebrows furrowed in concentration as she tried to mimic Dorian's movements. But she was a quick study, and soon she was moving with semi-gracefulness, trusting Dorian to steer her in the right direction.

"You're a natural, my dear," Dorian said approvingly over the music. "And here I thought southerners had no sense of rhythm."

Ash laughed, the sound bright and loud - too loud, some would say, but over the music, no one batted an eye. "We Dalish prefer our dances more natural. Less restrictive shoes for one thing." She tapped her toes against his fashionable but impractical footwear.

As the music transitioned to a slower waltz, Ash relaxed into the gentle swaying motion. "It’s been a few weeks since you first joined the Inquisition, how are you enjoying it now that you’ve had an in-depth look?" she asked conversationally.

"Oh splendidly," Dorian replied airily. "The cold, damp, and dog smell is growing on me. And the Inquisition's ranks could certainly benefit from my particular expertise."

"Dog smell?"

"I may not have seen any Mabari in Haven, but the smell has a way of…lingering.”

Ash bit back a grin. "Fereldans do love their dogs. I suppose you'll just have to get used to it. I’m partial to cats myself."

She’d spotted Sweetpea a few turns ago, snatching some roasted meat off of a drunk soldier’s plate.

"Ugh, must I?"

Ash tipped her head back as she laughed. They had closed the Breach, and now Rae could be free of her title if she so wished. She deserved a moment of reprieve, to let go fully and enjoy herself. Yet as Dorian led her through the steps of the dance, Ash felt an odd prickling on the back of her neck, like eyes watching her from the shadows. She glanced around but saw nothing amiss among the crowd. Still, she couldn't shake the strange feeling that something wasn't quite right. Perhaps it was just leftover jitters, it had taken a toll on her to close the Breach - a leftover survival instinct not yet ready to let go.

"Is everything alright?" Dorian asked, noticing her distraction.

"Hmm? Oh yes, of course," Ash replied lightly, not wanting to alarm him over what was likely just her imagination. But the sensation persisted, setting her nerves on edge. It reminded her of the uneasy atmosphere in the forest just before a storm, when the air felt charged with danger - a warning that she always heeded.

Anxious to clear her head, Ash made an excuse to Dorian as the dance ended. "Thank you for the lovely dance, but I find my poor feet aching and in need of a rest."

Dorian nodded amiably and she guided him over to Iron Bull, deftly handing the mage off to the boisterous Qunari before he could voice any of the protests that very clearly crossed his face - a sharp indignation that made her giggle.

She slipped through the crowd towards the flowing casks of ale and filled two mugs of mead. Clutching the frothy mugs, Ash scanned the area until she located Cullen standing off to the side, looking handsome as always but slightly uncomfortable amidst the rowdiness. She felt an instinctive pull towards the Commander, and she allowed herself to follow it. If something was off, maybe he’d noticed it too - or better yet, he could put her nerves at ease.

But before she could reach her destination, a familiar figure stepped into her path. Leliana materialized from the shadows like a cat stalking a mouse, her lips curved into a knowing smirk that made Ash's stomach do a little flip.

"Off somewhere?" The Spymaster purred.

Maintaining her composure despite the sudden interruption, Ash said, "Just some refreshments. I thought our dear Commander could use a drink to loosen up a bit."

Leliana's grin widened. "How thoughtful of you. I'm sure he'll appreciate the gesture."

"Care to join me?" Ash offered, gesturing with one of the mugs. "I'm sure I could rustle up another drink if you'd like."

Leliana waved a hand dismissively. "No need. I prefer to keep a clear head, especially on nights like these."

Ash took a sip of her mead, resisting the urge to spit the bitter liquid back into the mug. She watched as a group of soldiers attempted a clumsy jig, their laughter echoing across the courtyard.

"It's good to see everyone enjoying themselves," Ash remarked, her eyes still scanning the crowd. "They've earned it after all we've been through."

"Indeed. Though I suspect not everyone is quite as carefree as they appear."

"Oh?" Ash prompted, feigning nonchalance. "And who might you be referring to?"

"Well, our dear Commander for one. He seems rather…distracted tonight, don't you think?"

Ash felt heat creep up her neck, but she forced herself to maintain a neutral expression. "I hadn't noticed," she lied smoothly. "Though she did say that he's not one for parties."

"No, he's not," Leliana agreed. Her piercing blue eyes locked onto Ash's face, searching for any crack in her composure. "But I've noticed he seems particularly attentive when you’re around."

Ash's heart skipped a beat, but she refused to give Leliana the satisfaction of a reaction. Instead, she took another long sip of mead, using it to collect her thoughts.

"Is that so?" Ash finally replied, carefully casual. "Well, I'm sure he's just being polite. After all, he works closely with my sister."

Leliana chuckled, a knowing glint in her eye. "Of course. Though I must say, I've never seen Cullen blush quite so much during a simple work conversation."

Before Ash could formulate a response, Josephine appeared at Leliana's side, her eyes sparkling. "Oh! Are we discussing Ash and the Commander? How thrilling!"

Ash fought the urge to roll her eyes. "There's nothing to discuss. We're colleagues, nothing more."

Josephine's face fell slightly, but her enthusiasm couldn't be dampened for long. "But you would make such a lovely couple! The dashing ex-Templar and the spirited mage, how romantic."

"I'm afraid your imagination is running wild, Ambassador,” Ash insisted. “The Commander and I are far too different to ever be compatible."

Leliana's knowing smirk never faltered. "Sometimes, opposites attract in the most unexpected ways."

Ash let out a melodramatic sigh. "As fascinating as this conversation is, I'm afraid these drinks won't deliver themselves. If you'll excuse me, ladies."

She sidled past them, feeling their amused gazes on her back - along with that ever-present feeling of wrongness that had yet to leave her - as she made her way towards Cullen. Their teasing had only heightened her awareness of the Commander, and she found herself suddenly nervous as she approached. Irritating, she shouldn’t be nervous when it didn’t matter.

“Can I interest you in some rather disgusting mead?” she asked in greeting, her smile just shy of meeting her eyes, the hairs on the nape of her neck prickling. 

He straightened up from his leaning stance against the wall and took the offered cup reluctantly - polite as ever. 

"Ah, mead. Never my favourite, but I will make an exception just this once," he said, hiding his smirk behind a small sip of the drink. “Thank you," he added, somewhat gruff, but a hint of genuine appreciation flashed in his eyes. 

Ash smiled as she too took small sips, barely tasting the foul drink, her gaze darting around. She was just being paranoid, right? It had been a crazy few months since the Conclave, it was only natural that her mind would take time to comprehend that they were safe. 

And yet, she couldn’t let go of her unease. 

"Is something wrong?" Cullen asked, cutting through her thoughts. He observed her closely, concern creasing his forehead as he tried to discern what had her so quiet. 

“I…” She frowned, once again scanning their surroundings, there was nothing but drunken celebration. “I don’t know. Something just…doesn’t feel right.”

His face hardened, his hand clenching around the pommel of his sword, always attached to his hip. He scanned the area, squinting into the distance as if it would reveal the potential threat. 

"What doesn't feel right?" he asked, taking on a more serious tone. "Do you see something out of place, or is it just a feeling?"

Ash sucked her lips between her teeth. “Just a feeling, but I don’t-“

If Solas had interrupted any of her other conversations with the Commander, Ash would have been more than a little irked. But when he strode up to her side, a dark and contemplative look on his face, she felt only relief. “You feel it too, I take it, the disturbance. The Fade is…distressed.” He addressed Ash, his eyes flicking over to the Commander. “Something is coming.”

Cullen’s eyes widened for a moment, so brief she almost missed the flicker of fear. “What sort of disturbance? Demons? A rift?"

“Worse,” Solas said, and as if he had heralded chaos, the warning bells sounded, loud and exactly what Ash had feared.

A scout, his breaths coming in short, urgent gasps, ran up to Cullen’s side. The Commander’s face darkened and his muscles tensed as the scout spoke in hushed tones, too low for Ash to hear. Cullen nodded his understanding, and strode towards where Rae stood on the steps of the Chantry, sparring one last concerned glance at Ash before bellowing, “Forces Approaching! To Arms!”

Haven erupted, like a wave rolling over the ranks, they surged. Soldiers scrambled to take up arms and defensive positions while panicked non-military members fled for shelter. Solas's words echoed in her mind - something was coming, something worse than demons.

Cursing under her breath, Ash pushed through the crowd of people and snatched her staff from where it rested against a casket. Thank the Creators she hadn't taken off her chestplate yet. Moving swiftly, she strode toward the gates. She had to see this threat for herself.

As she reached the palisade, Ash felt her blood turn to ice. Spread out along the winding mountain passes, flickering torchlight glinted off thousands of soldiers marching toward Haven. An entire army had come to destroy them. Terror and fury rising in her chest, she tightened her grip on her staff. Love pulsed once in her chest, a silent offer of the power she could desperately use in such a fight, outnumbered and ambushed. But she couldn’t. Not yet, not when they could still pull through.

Ash joined Rae’s side as they gathered at the gates, watching with apprehension as the lights crept closer, their voices growing louder and footfalls echoing as time began to run out.

“Cullen?” Cassandra prompted.

“One watchguard reporting. It’s a massive force,” he pointed towards them, mouth set in a grim frown, “the bulk is over the mountain.”

Josephine stepped forward and Ash both worried for her out in the open with combat looming so close, but also admired her bravery, for doing her job even in these horrifying circumstances. “Under what banner?” she asked, but Cullen shook his head.

“None.”

“None?” Josephine echoed, though no one had a better answer, nor was there any time. Two harsh bangs pounded against the doors to Haven, red light flickering beneath the wood.

“I can’t come in unless you open!” Came what sounded like the voice of a boy barely turned a man. How in Mythal’s name did a child get out there?

With a glance towards Ash, worry clouding her gaze, Rae strode towards the entry, signalling for gates to be opened.

Ash gripped her staff tightly, ready for danger, as the guards followed Rae’s command. Beyond stood a lone soldier, clad in dark armor that bore no heraldry or insignia. Before anyone could react, the soldier choked and gurgled as a blade burst through his chest in a spray of crimson. As the body crumbled to the ground, it revealed a strange, pale boy holding the bloody dagger.

Ash halted in her tracks, pulling up short to where Rae began conversing with the newcomer, his large-brimmed skull cap flopping as he gesticulated. Love pulsed, her energy pressing on Ash’s ribcage, the bones creaking uncomfortably. She grimaced, rubbing the heel of her palm on the centre of her chest in an attempt to calm the spirit. The energy wasn’t distressed, it was calm yet insistent, pulling her towards the boy as though Love recognized him and was eager to see him. 

“Templars?” Cullen barked, jolting her out of Love’s grasp, the boy shying away from him. Ash had never been happy to hear that title before, and that had not changed, even in these dire circumstances. “Is this the order’s response to our talks with the mages? Attacking blindly?”

The boy’s next words chilled Ash to the bone, ice instinctively rising to her palm. “The Red Templars went to the Elder One. You know him? He knows you. You took his mages.” He turned and pointed towards a cliff edge in the distance. “There.”

Ash followed his outstretched finger, squinting against the smoke and darkness that covered their march, making out two shadowy figures standing atop a rocky outcropping, one at least twice the size of the other. As her eyes adjusted, she held back a gasp. The larger figure was grotesque, his face misshapen and his body seemingly fused with chunks of a red crystalline material. His arms were too long and thin for his body, but his large pauldrons gave his shoulders an unnatural width. He was a monster, there was no doubt about it. She could barely see the smaller man beside him as enemy soldiers raced past them, but he’d held a brutal-looking sword, one that promised death.

She glanced at Cullen and saw the blood drain from his face. "I know that man…but this Elder One…"

Cullen's acquaintance with a person who would willingly associate with someone like that creature was disconcerting. But before she could voice her concerns, the conversation shifted once again.

“He is very angry that you took his mages.” The boy stared into the distance, eyes unfocused.

Rae shook herself, her hands flexing at her sides as she turned to her war commander for guidance. “Cullen!” She used the tone she always did when she was panicking but trying to hide it - a demand to disguise the tremor. “Give me a plan, anything!”

But there was very little for the Commander to give; Haven was not meant for a siege, it was a small village that their base camp had been set up in. The mountains should have protected them, and Leliana’s scouts should have seen the army coming, but it hadn’t, they hadn’t, and now there was nothing left to do but attempt to control the battle. And they would have to use every trick and trap up their sleeves if any of them were to survive the night.

“Mages!” Cullen turned to address their huddled group that waited at the ready. “You have sanction to engage them.” Now was not the best time to express her irritation that Cullen thought the mages needed his permission to defend themselves, so Ash - always mindful - bit her tongue. “That is Samson. He will not make it easy!”

He strode across their ranks. “Inquisition! With the Herald!” he shouted, Rae straightening as he turned and thrust his sword at the sky. “For your lives! For all of us!”

She squared her shoulders and gripped her staff, magic swirling through her fingers. And with a rallying cry, the battle was upon them.

Ash charged forward, magic crackling at her fingertips as the Red Templars charged towards them. At her side, Rae let out a fierce and feral scream of warning, daggers glinting, canines sharp, as she leapt into the fray. The sounds of clashing metal and shouted spells and screams for help were impossible to ignore - and yet they had to, had to focus on the enemy. Or they would all die.

Ash unleashed a barrage of ice, spikes erupting from the ground to impale the charging templars. Beside her, Rae ducked and wove, her blades finding weak points in armour with lethal precision. Further down the snowy hill, Dorian sent lightning raining down to scorch the earth, exploding amid the enemy ranks. His spells sowed havoc, opening gaps for the Inquisition's forces to press through. Solas called on the raw fury of the Fade, conjuring barrier after barrier to block the Red Templar’s attacks.

Cassandra bellowed orders as she bashed through Templar shields, her sword cleaving through armour and bone. Varric's crossbow sang as it loosed bolt after bolt into the tide of red lyrium monsters. The Inquisition gave no ground, standing firm against the onslaught. But they could not hold on forever.

The Templars kept coming, endless waves throwing themselves against Haven's defences. Ash could feel her mana waning as the battle dragged on, but a lyrium potion was shoved in her hand by a young mage and she downed it without a second thought. Beside her, Rae bled from a dozen minor wounds. They had to turn the tide somehow.

Cullen's voice rang out. "Hit the trebuchets! Bury them in snow!"

With the last of her strength, Ash called up a shield of shimmering ice. "Go, I'll cover you!" she shouted to Rae. Her sister sprinted for the nearest siege engine, flanked by Cassandra and Varric. Ash braced herself as a fresh assault crashed against her barrier, the ice fracturing under the blows.

A great groaning creak split the night - the trebuchets had fired. An avalanche of snow boiled down the mountainside, swallowing the advancing horde.

A cheer went up amongst the ranks of the Inquisition, but as Ash lowered her ice barrier, she could feel with resounding dread that they had celebrated too soon.

Like a rift had opened beneath their feet, the ground began to tremble and shake, throwing Ash off balance. She caught herself on her staff, grabbing hold of Rae’s sleeve before she toppled over. Tugging her sister to her side, any words she had wanted to say were drowned out by a deep and primal roar, the air filling with the scent of acrid burning and rotting flesh.

Soldiers and mages alike broke out in a jumble of shouting, screaming their terror as they scrambled to get away. But there was nowhere to go. Swooping low over the village, the massive, archaic form of a…decaying dragon crested over the trees. 

Ash's breath seized in her throat as the dragon descended upon them, its massive wingspan blotting out the night sky. Grotesque flesh hung in tatters from its skeletal frame, bits of sinew and jagged bone exposed beneath rotting hide the colour of clotted blood. Smouldering shadows dripped from its jaws as it parted its maw, unleashing an earsplitting shriek that rattled Ash’s skull. This was a force beyond reckoning, an extinction given form.

The creature reared back as it flew at a breakneck speed, the membranes of its wings spreading wide. A glow emanated from deep within its throat, flames kindling to life behind jagged fangs.

Ash realized two things at once. First, the decaying dragon was only seconds away from where both she and Rae stood beside the trebuchet as it carved a trail of fire and death. Second, they would not have enough time to run or leap out of the way of its attack. 

Ash's heart ached with all the words she wanted to say to Rae, to apologize for her past mistakes and to tell her just how proud she was of her. But the seconds were running out, and Ash could only hope that her actions would convey the depth of her emotions.

Releasing her hold on Rae, Ash gripped her staff with both hands and with all the magic available to her, channelled a blast of pure force against her chest. In the split second before the magic hit Rae, they locked eyes, anguish and betrayal colouring her sister’s face as she realized too late what Ash had planned to do. As Rae flew over the hill and out of harm's way, Ash felt a wave of calm wash over her. She had done the right thing, she had kept Rae safe.

But that didn’t mean that Ash was going to face her death lying down. Barrier spells had never been her forte, sound and detection she could manage, but anything else always eluded her. As the flames licked at her skin, burning through her robes like kindling, heat searing into her exhausted body, Love erupted, her magic pushing into Ash’stoo-latee barrier, a desperate attempt to survive. 

The agony lasted for only a second, but in that second she experienced pain like she never had before. It was like her skin was peeling back from muscle, like her insides were being boiled, her bones charred. She heard her own screams rattle inside her skull, blood-curling and shrieking, and then everything went blissfully, numbingly black. 

Next Chapter

A/N: I know that it's the Archdemon, but since Ash doesn't know that yet I had to describe it in other ways. I apologize for the cliffhanger, but we got some good Cullen time in this chapter :) Poor guy is gonna be so distressed when he sees the girl he likes go up in flames…hehe…unless??