#i think we all knew this was going to happen

[totalswag]

I have a request... maybe reader is popular on tiktok and she does that thing on tiktok "raw next question" jokingly but he sees the video and responds

raw next question? ⎯ RAFE CAMERON

authors note can i just say thank you for sending in this request??

taglist ✎ ̼ if you would like to be notified every time i post you will type in your username then be all set to go.

masterlist

summary you jokingly leave a comment underneath rafe cameron's tiktok thinking nothing of it because of the trend going around. the following day he responds back with interest.

warning(s) little bit of cursing, mentions of drinking.

Several people have used the term "raw next question" on tiktok to describe their celebrity crushes, influencers, or people they find attractive in general. You even got them.

On an ordinary Friday, you were sitting on the couch, scrolling through your for you page while the television played. You just came across Rafe Cameron's tiktok video where he posted slides of himself. 

Rafe Cameron is a popular guy on the app who every girl fantasizes about. He became popular after posting a tiktok of himself. A few months ago, he followed you on tiktok and instagram⎯you followed back on both.

You won't lie, he's an attractive guy⎯he knows he is. Neither of you have commented under each other's post before⎯you thought why not comment and see what happens.

"Should I do it?" You casually ask yourself as if you were in deep thought, "fuck it."

yourusername: raw next question?

⇾ fan2: umm ariana what are you doing here???

⇾ fan5: this is so unexpected but HELL YEAH

⇾ fan3: not her being BOLD 😭

After leaving your comment on Rafe's tiktok, you placed your phone down and resumed watching your movie. You felt your phone vibrate as supporters responded and making edits of Rafe and you. 

You honestly hoped on the trend but knew what would come from it after submitting the comment. Supporters know you will shoot your shot without thinking⎯you only live once.

The next day, you had two best friends over, Evelyn and Zoie. Three of you are having a girls' night that includes making dinner, drinking, playing games, baking, and watching movies. 

Evelny and you were gathering the ingredients for the cookies when Zoie let out a loud gasp while holding her phone, causing you two to look up, anxious. 

"What happened?" Evelyn and you speak in unison, setting everything down and walking over⎯looking over on both Zoie's shoulders.

"Rafe Cameron responded to your comment, Y/N," and all mouths dropped to the floor.

You freeze, your stomach doing a little somersault. “What?!”

You sigh and take Zoie's phone, saying, "Let me see."

There he is, sitting casually in a chair, the lighting soft and golden, his blonde hair slightly tousled. He’s rocking back and forth, staring off into the distance like he’s deep in thought. Then, slowly, he glances down at his phone.

The frown on his face shifts—subtly at first, then into a sly smirk. He leans forward, looking directly at the camera. “Uh-huh,” he says, his voice low and teasing.

"Y/N, you better say something because he's definitely interested," she replies. "I gotta agree with Zoie on this one," Evelyn adds, folding her arms and nodding to Zoie in agreement. 

"Let me check my phone first to see if he's messaged me," you say with a hint of eagerness and excitement, "plus I mainly commented to join the trend..." you trail off.

"Yeah sure" Zoie sarcastically remarks, leaning forward, shaking her head side to side.

instagram: rafecameron sent you a message

rafe cameron: hey! bold move, I think we should talk. 

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[andreabaideas]

Lots of them. Here comes my list of Florence + The Machine songs :

Cosmic love : the first song I knew of her. Thanks to a Twilight fan vid edit.

Daffodill : I LOVE the change of vibe in the song so sudden. I got introduced to this one because a Harry Potter marauders era fanfic (about Narcissa Black).

Florida!!! : technically It isn't a Florence's song, Its a Taylor Swift ft Florence song... But to me It feels more like a Florence song than a Taylor song, even if Its Taylor's...It's just the vibes, If It makes any sense 😅.

Girl with one eye :

So creepy, so catchy and edgy. Great american southern gothic vibes . I would put It on every single (nowadays setting) Vampire fiction show and film ever.

Seems to me like a conversation between an assaulter and Its víctim (about to get a revenge) to me, I dont know if i'm right, just my reading... so original & different.

Heavy in your arms : Total banger .

" This will be my last confession

I love you never felt like any blessing

Whisper it is like it's a secret

Only to condemn the one who hears it

With a heavy heart "

It completely slaps !!!!

Howl : another banger.

" Be careful of the curse that falls on young lovers

Starts so soft and sweet and turns them to hunters"

Hunger : and another banger!!!

" Oh, and you in all your vibrant youth

How could anything bad ever happen to you?

You make a fool of death with your beauty, and for a moment

I forget to worry"

June : love this song. Just love It!!!

It has Djats vibes (like a song written by Daisy for Billy). Its very Daisybilly coded. Like...

" The show was ending and I had started to crack

Woke up in Chicago and the sky turned black

And you're so high, you're so high, you have to be an angel

And I'm so high, I'm so high, I can see an angel

...

In those heavy days in June

When love became an act of defiance

Hold onto each other

...

You were broken-hearted and the world was too

And I was beginning to lose my grip

And I have always held it loosely

But this time, I admit

I felt it really start to slip

.....

I'm always down to hide with you.

I think Daisy Jones and the Six writter got inspired by this song (song IS from 2018 and book from 2019)

King : feminist.

And the Line : " I never knew my killer would be coming from within" is a haunting one.

Mermaids One of my fave songs ever. Party. Poetry. Dancy. Indie. Its wholesome to me.

My love : Love and time lost. A classic

Never let me go : LOVE It. Plus the videoclip features Jamie Campbell Bower, Who I LOVE.

No light no light : Another of my faves ever.

The whole song Its a poem, Its a vibe, Its just amazing!!!

Over the love : Best thing about the modern film of the Great Gatsby Its this song tbh.

Queen of peace : so cool. Love it

Rabbit Heart (raise It Up) : Alice in wonderland with a human turning into Vampire vibes, cool. "This IS a gift / It comes with a price..."

Seven devils : Another classic banger. Eery poem. Witchy vibes. My gothic teen self adored It.

Shake It out : The classic of Florence. Everyone knows It. And for a good reason.

Ship to wreck : love the song. Like a comforting chaos. Love the videoclip like the fkat Its asinking boat. Just love It.

Silver springs cover Technically a Fleetwood Mac song. Unpopular opinion : I like It better than the original, I like both. But I like the way Florence songs It better.

Spectrum Sounds spiritual, and

" Say my name / As every colour illuminates/ We are shining/ And we will never be afraid again" those lines live in my head rent

St jude : Cool. Another song that reminds me of Daisy Jones and the Six like...

" St Jude, maybe I've always been more comfortable in chaos // And I couldn't keep my mouth shut, I just had to mention// Grabbing your attention//St Jude, the patron saint of the lost causes"

The end of love "I've always been in love with you//Could you tell it from the moment that I met you?" Lives in my head rent free

Which Witch : And it's my whole heart// While tried and tested, it's mine// And it's my whole heart//Trying to reach it out// And it's my whole heart// Burned but not buried this time// I'm on trial, waiting 'til the beat comes out.

No more explanation needed.

ok what’s your florence + the machine song. mine is rabbit heart (raise it up)<3

[starmocha]

ok so I know we're all taken in by colonel caleb and his complexity and i'm enjoying all the smut (🙏🏻💕) but i'm looking at him and thinking about how he'd react if mc got pregnant 'cause in ny head he'd react like I think sylus would as in he'd shower her in kisses while crying but imagine him being scared of holding the baby because of his arm, terrified of hurting that tiny being but the second he holds them the fear goes away and he's planting kisses on the top of the baby's head 🥹😭

CRYING. SOBBING. YEARNING. Anon, if you've been around my blog long enough, I have mentioned numerous times how my 3-part Caleb breeding kink (and pregnancy) series will happen. With the recent revelation about his arm, I was reflecting on how to tackle this series with regards to Caleb's character. I hope his future memories will also deal with this more, so we can get a better understanding of the changes and his own mental state regarding it.

omg ok we all probably know by now I am weak to the Caleb thoughts, so...so...just a little snippet. Just a tiny short snippet...

Sweet Little You

She was safe. They were safe.

Caleb watched with relief as you slept peacefully, exhausted after the grueling 34 hours of labor. He had dedicated his whole life to keeping you safe, protect you from dangers and prevent you from ever feeling pain, but in those long, slow hours, he had felt so utterly helpless as he watched you braved through the tribulations of motherhood.

He knew you were strong, knew that you were more than capable, but it did not deter his innate desire to shelter you.

It had only been a few hours since the baby was born, he realized, as his large hand rested on your head, gently smoothing your hair. He could still see your tears, heard you crying as you poured all of your strength into delivering his baby. You had gripped his hand so tightly, and though that right hand of his could no longer feel anything, his heart still did, torn apart at every scream, every sob that passed your lips. He did his best to encourage you, reassured you that everything was going well, that soon you both would meet your little one.

He wasn’t sure if what he had said helped or not, but you had still held his hand, holding tight to him just like long ago when you two were little. Maybe you still needed him, still wanting to lean on him like you used to.

He bent down and placed a soft kiss on your temple. “Thank you, my darling.”

Caleb’s ears perked up, hearing the sudden quiet fussing of his newborn. He looked to the hospital bassinet placed close to your bed. The baby was starting to stir, waking up from a peaceful slumber.

He quickly moved closer, his paternal instinct kicking in. He bent down lower, his voice softer than normal. “Hey, hey there, little one,” he said, about to reach down for the baby, but he paused, worried.

The baby’s face scrunched up, its cries still soft, but steadily growing just a bit louder. Panic briefly passed Caleb’s features, suddenly unsure of his own ability as a father. He could hear you stirring behind him, but he didn’t want you to wake yet, knowing you still needed more rest. He pushed down his own feeling of anxiety, and he bent down again, gently scooping the baby up.

The baby was so small, he couldn’t help but think, being able to hold the baby within his two hands. He readjusted his hold, cradling the baby within his arms, and his heart felt like it was slowing in time, his breathing almost stilling entirely as it finally seemed to clicked in his mind that he was holding his baby. This little baby, conceived from the love between you and him, was now here, in his arms, and he could barely stifle the sob that almost wanted to escape, his heart suddenly overwhelmed with so many different emotions ranging from disbelief to amazement and finally profound, unconditional love.

The baby’s cries ceased, replaced by soft cooing, and Caleb let out a breathless laughter, his earlier anxiety slowly receding. He still wondered about his capability, but more than that, he wondered how it was possible to love someone you had just met. When his eyes drifted up, settling over your sleeping form, he almost laughed again, realizing he had never found the answer to that question, having always been a willing victim of “love at first sight.”

He shifted his gaze back down to the tiny baby in his arms, his lips resting over the infant’s forehead, the sweet scent of the newborn filling his nostrils, and a warmth unlike anything he had ever felt before filled his chest.

“Welcome to the world, my little one,” he whispered, “We’ve been waiting for you.”

[spiderb00]

- FAM OUT - DREAM LIFE

The barking of the dogs awakened Sophia from her perfect world. The Filipina was cooking, she loved doing it after a busy day, and with the house to herself, the peace she felt was what she needed to end the day. As soon as she put the platter in the oven, Sophia heard little footsteps running towards where she was, and then she could finally see the little copies of her running around the house.

"MOM!" Bending down to be at the height of the twins, Sophia opened her arms, being greeted by a slight impact when the two four-year-old twins hugged her.

"Mom, Mommy Yn took us to the playground, and let us play a lot of hours." Samantha, the older twin – only for twelve minutes – said, emphasizing her words by moving her hands.

"And then she took us out for ice cream!" Denver, the younger twin said, covering his mouth with his little hands when he realized what he said.

"Dev! You weren't supposed to tell that part!" Sam said, stomping her foot on the floor and making an angry face that looked a lot like Sophia's.

"No, it's okay, my loves. I don't like it when you eat dessert before dinner, but I'll talk to your mom about it. Now go upstairs and I'll go upstairs to give you a bath, you little dirt." Sophia said, tickling the two children, who ran away screaming and running upstairs.

Seeing the twins' rush, you entered the kitchen, two backpacks in your hands and two stuffed monkeys hanging from your shoulders. As much as Sophia thinks it's great to see you in super sexy mom mode, she knows she has to scold you for giving the twins ice cream ahead of time.

"So, are kisses just for them? Or do I have one too?" Leaning in to give your wife a kiss, you missed the aim, making the kiss fall on Sophia's cheek, as she turned her face in the opposite direction.

"Not really, no kisses for mothers who do not comply with the other mother's orders." Sophia said, looking at you with that face you knew well, the one that gave you chills.

Already knowing that the twins would probably have snitched on you, you decided to go for the foolproof plan, puppy eyes. You knew you shouldn't give the twins ice cream, but they were so cute telling you the list of reasons why you should buy them ice cream.

"Baby, I'm sorry. But they were so cute with those little faces, I couldn't resist." You said, grabbing your wife's waist and making her look at you.

"You have to be tougher on them, Yn." Sophia said, putting her hands on the back of your neck.

"Sorry…" You said, kissing the Filipina on the cheek and hoping that would get you out of the punishment.

"All right." Sophia said, still with a warning look on her face. "But next time you don't escape me."

Shaking your head and with a smile on your face, you kissed Sophia. Your lips fitting perfectly and your tongues fighting for the dominance of the kiss. With one swift movement, you picked Sophia in your lap, placing her on the counter. Feeling your kisses on her neck, Sophia moaned lightly, covering her mouth with one hand so as not to make too much noise.

"Sophia." You called, as you went down your kisses around her neck.

"Say it, baby."

"Sophia." Stopping the kisses, Sophia looked into your eyes, only to see the smile on your face, before you whispered again. "Wake up!" Stunned, Sophia woke up in a jump, seeing you standing next to her on the bed. Looking at the clock on the bedside table, Sophia narrowed her eyes, the digital clock reading 02:34 in the morning.

"Baby, we have a problem."

Continues…

Hello guys, are you okay?

as I said, I really miss Fam out, so I decided to release a preview of what's to come.

This kind of happens in one of the chapters of Fam Out, which I'm still going to release, but I wanted to give you this background.

Any idea of what will happen ahead?

Stay safe and drink water

fam out masterlist

Xoxo, spider

[la-principessa-nuova]

this is something i’ve kind of been realizing over the last few days.

i’ve always felt this feeling of panic in social situations, where i feel this sense of pressure in my head and i have trouble focusing and feel my heart getting fluttery, which I chalked up to “my social anxiety” figuring it would just always be something I felt, and that I needed to just push through to deal with it.

until i found myself deep in burnout and unable to deal with it.

but last friday there was a moment where i started to feel the panic as a cashier’s hand was about to graze mine while giving me change, but then thanks to the work I’ve put in lately, I stopped and realized that what I was really afraid of was offending the other person based on the assumption that my body is inherently offensive.

so I reminded myself that the other person is not thinking that, and that it is in his control whether his hand touched mine. it did, and I felt completely fine. Still anxious (after all there was that much going through my head), but fine.

then the next day I met some new trans women at a local event and as two of them were leaving that I had been talking to, one of them asked if I did hugs. And I knew I wanted to work on being ok with hugs, so I said yes. And the most unbelievable thing happened: I was completely fine.

And then the second woman it wasn’t clear if we were also hugging bc we’d both just hugged the one who asked, so I initiated the hug, and I think it just might be the first time I’ve actually initiated hugging someone else, at least aside from my dog or my parents when I was too young to remember. And it was also completely fine.

the point of this all being that instead of pushing through, I stopped and processed what was happening in my head, and now I don’t have to do it scared anymore.

“Do it scared” but please realize that, if you Do It Scared too much and don’t let yourself rest + relax + have fun in between, you will fuck yourself up. If you “do it scared” all day every day, you will burn out badly and quickly. Sometimes this is temporarily necessary but please keep this in mind.

[inkedbybarnes]

none of it was fake

bucky barnes x avenger!fem!reader

summary: you've been undercover with bucky as husband and wife. upon returning, he seems to have forgotten that it was all pretend.

word count: 1.6k+

warnings: two idiots cluelessly pining for each other. fluff. usage of petnames such as sweetheart, doll, and baby. lowercase writing.

note: hi, babies. how's everyone? this is my first fic in ages, so sorry if it's not my best one. i just wanted something cute ++ this is unedited & not proofread, might fix it laterrr. still hope you'll enjoy this one! xo

dividers made by @firefly-graphics!

comments, reblogs, and likes are highly appreciated. thank you! ♡

“i can't believe your first kiss happened during a mission. an undercover mission!

wanda huffed, still hung up on the mission you had with bucky weeks ago wherein you had to play pretend as a married couple. there had been a kiss or two during that time, and it felt impossible not to tell your best friend about it when you had been crushing over the soldier for ages.

wanda knew what you felt towards bucky. in fact, she was the only one who knew, or at least the one you shared th information with, and she made sure to ask everything about the mission, even if it took days for her to interrogate you.

“excuse me? that was not my first kiss,” you said defensively, reaching for a cup from the cupboard that you had just opened. “and why are we still talking about this? you and nat already squeezed out every information from me for an entire week.”

“i didn't mean your first first kiss!” she exclaimed, following you around the kitchen as you made yourself a cup of coffee. “you've had a crush on the guy for so long, and the first time you two kiss each other is when you're pretending. that's not how i pictured it at all!”

you had to admit, the mission was sort of a blessing in disguise and a curse at the same time. you were glad to be able to spend time with bucky in ways you've dreamt of, but there was also the horrible reminder that none of it was real. with how avoidant bucky was with you, it was impossible for any of it to happen outside of the mission.

“well, maybe you should stop picturing us doing that sort of stuff. you're way more invested in this than i am, wanda. don't you have your own relationship to think about?” you asked. although you knew she was in a happy relationship with vision, you just wanted her to take a break from all the bucky talk. “when is your man home anyway?”

“my relationship is doing great, so i'm good. i don't need to think of it as much since he gives me everything that i need, and i think of yours because you deserve happiness as well.” she smiled fondly, her eyes sparkling with happiness. “and i'm glad that you asked because this reminded me that vision's arriving with bucky soon.”

“already?” your eyes widened at her statement, completely forgetting that bucky, along with steve, clint, and vision, were coming home today from their mission. “why didn't you tell me sooner!?”

after finishing your mission with bucky two weeks ago, he was immediately sent into another mission which specifically needed him. so, today would technically be the first time you're seeing him again since you last called him your “husband,” which was more nerve-wracking than you expected.

“hey, i'm your best friend, not your alarm.” wanda raised her hands up, defending herself. “and why are you so worried? i can feel your anxiety without needing to be in your head.”

“well, we never talked after.. you know,” you replied, taking a big sip out of your cup. “i know none of it meant anything and that we were just doing our job, but it's the first time i'll be with him normally and not as a pretend married couple. it's kinda awkward, wands.”

“you were able to pretend you didn't like the guy for months, you can do it again for another day.” she answered. “unless you finally tell him what you feel?”

“oh, that? yeah, never happening. i'm not going to risk—”

“there you are, sweetheart.”

there was a collective shocked gasp from both you and wanda, recognizing that voice from behind. except the gasps had different reasons.

you were surprised with his arrival.

wanda was surprised that he casually called you sweetheart.

you turn to find bucky already walking towards you with a smile on his face.

this man never smiles unless he was tasked to do so!

“bucky! you're back!” you awkwardly greeted him.

“yeah, didn't they tell you? i was looking for you when we landed.” he said, pulling you close to him before bending to place a soft kiss on your lips like it was something he'd always done. “you okay, baby? you look pale. did you eat?”

i look pale because wanda is right here with us and you just kissed me while acting like we're dating!

“um, yeah, i'm fine. i'm fine,” you answered, gently pulling yourself away from his arms before he could wrap them around you completely. “can we talk? privately?”

he frowned, worry etched on his face, but he nodded and squeezed your arm softly. “of course. where do you wanna talk, doll?”

“anywhere where wanda isn't there.” you said lightheartedly, throwing a sharp glance at wanda who finally understood what you wanted her to do.

“oh! right, right. i'm sorry, you guys can stay here. i have um..” she paused, thinking of a reason to say. “i have to look for vision anyway. we're supposed to watch a movie together. bye!”

and just like that, wanda was gone and you were left alone with bucky in the kitchen.

before you could speak, bucky asked you first. “what's the matter, doll?”

“what's the matter?” you echoed in a higher tone. “what was that all about?”

“what are you talking about?” he asked, seemingly confused.

“you kissed me, bucky, like it was nothing. then you keep calling me these nicknames.” you reminded him. “we're back home, not in los angeles in our fake house that we used as a fake couple.”

bucky took a step back when he realised his actions, now finding it hard to look at you. “i.. i'm sorry. i completely forgot. i just.. i wasn't thinking. i got used to how we were before,” he mumbled, still finding the right words to say. “did i make you uncomfortable?”

“no, but you made me confused,” you replied. “i'm guessing you got used to how we acted as a fake married couple, but you were gone for another mission. how are you still stuck with the old routine we had?”

“because that's all i could think about,” he answered, now staring at you. “while you're back here in the tower, completely done with our mission, i was thrown back into another one, having only you in my head to pull me back up from the fatigue.”

“you're telling me that you kept thinking about us even when you were gone? why?”

“haven't you?”

“is this a trick question?”

“it's a question to find out whether you like me too or not.”

“you.. you like me?” you blinked. “that's impossible.”

“how on earth is that impossible?”

“because you're always so cold and grumpy around me,” you answered. “i think you're just confused with all the acting we've done, bucky. you don't like me.”

“i was supposed to go on that mission with sharon, not you.” he exhaled. “she volunteered to do it, so she was initially picked. i tried getting out of it, but i had advantages that they needed for the mission to go smoothly. so, i agreed, but in one condition.”

“what was it?” you whispered.

“that you should be my partner,” he answered quickly. “ask me why.”

your heart pounded. “why?”

“because i wanted an excuse to act the way i've always wanted to. i wasn't cold or grumpy because i didn't like you, i just didn't want to scare you.” bucky explained, his hand reaching out for yours. “god, doll. figuring out whether you like me or not has got to be the hardest mission i had to deal with. so do me a favour and get me out of this misery.”

once your lungs found a bit of oxygen again, you finally spoke. “what you said.. you mean it?”

bucky nodded. “every word.”

“well, i like you too.” you tried to bite back a huge smile. “for some time now, actually. wanda will eventually tell you all about my obsession with you. i can't believe we were both worrying for the wrong things.”

“your obsession with me, huh?” he asked cockily, a teasing grin plastered on his face.

“really? i said all that and that's what caught your attention?”

“can't help it. i've been obsessed with you for a long time now as well.” his eyes crinkled at the corners, a little smile gracing his lips while his arm slipped around your waist.

your eyes peeked up at him through your lashes. “does this make it real now?”

“do you want it to be?”

“you're really asking me that?” your chest rumbled. “of course i do.”

“then let's make it real.”

bucky watched you intensely for a few seconds as if he wanted to frame this exact moment before licking his lips and leaning down. you suck a breath, eyes closing as you felt his soft lips meet yours.

you never realised how much you've grown familiar with his touch and affection since your time together as a fake couple.

except this time, none of it was fake.

should we see their time in los angeles as an undercover married couple? 👀

if you have any requests for bucky, send them my way! 💌

[illbegottenfaith]

the one where theo asks you out to a wedding

exes to lovers

In his defence, Theo landed on your doorstep only after he had exhausted all other options. He took in a deep breath, steeling his nerves, and knocked. After a minute or two, he heard the patter of hurried footsteps and the door swung open.

"Hey."

Your face looked a little less round, perhaps. Your hair was shorter than he remembered, but your eyes looked just as sweet and forgiving as they always did. Only now

"Hey."

No open hostility. Theo could work with that. He was starting to feel a little hot in his suit. He scratched the back of his neck. Your eyes narrowed at the action.

"What do you want?"

Theo coughed awkwardly.

"Why do you just assume I want something?"

The corner of your lip quirked up.

"I dated you for years, Theodore. I think I know when you want something."

He took a deep breath and stuck his hands into his pockets, glancing at the door as he struggled to meet your eye. He should have brought flowers or something. Merlin, what was so nerve-wracking about talking to you? He did it plenty enough, once upon a time.

"I...need a favour."

"I figured."

Theo wished you'd stop staring at him so plainly. Instead, you leaned against the doorframe, tilting your head up at him while you patiently waited for him to spit out whatever he had to say.

"Mattheo's getting married," he blurted out.

Instantly, your face softened. Theo felt a pang of guilt somewhere deep inside his gut. When the two of you were dating, you always had a soft spot for Mattheo, as did he for you. In fact, he seemed more heartbroken than Theo after the breakup. But the fact remained that he, like a lot of your mutual friends, knew Theo before you, and so his social circle remained somewhat intact while you faded into oblivion.

He hadn't thought twice about it at the time, but seeing your face light up made him realise that this must be the first you had heard about any of your old friends since graduation. He had never meant to tear you away from friends who were every bit yours as they were his.

Then again, he had never wanted to break up with you in the first place.

Your lips curved into a familiar smile that tugged at something inside his chest.

"That's...wow. I'm so happy for him. That's incredible."

"It is. I'm the best man."

"I should hope so. Congratulations."

"Thank you."

Another painful silence drew out between the two of you. Theo stared at his palm uncomfortably.

"I need a date," he forced out.

You looked unimpressed.

"And? None of your model girlfriends can make it?"

Theo had the decency to look a little embarrassed.

"I'm sick of - they're not my girlfriends."

"Right," you drawled, your voice dripping with sarcasm. "Too famous to be tied down, are we?"

Theo pulled at the knot of his tie desperately. He didn't remember you being this frustrating.

"I don't want to take any of them."

You shrugged. "Then go solo."

"C'mon, Y/N. Everyone's bringing a plus one."

You leaned towards him with a sardonic smile.

"That's the wonderful thing about not being your girlfriend anymore. Not. My. Problem. Bye now."

Theo jammed his foot in as you unsuccessfully tried to close the door.

"I'll pay you."

You laughed incredulously. "You can't be serious."

It had been a long shot, but he was running out of ideas. He dragged a hand through his hair.

"What do you want?" What did you want? "More attention? More gifts? I'll pay for your dress. I'll buy you dinner."

"Careful, or I'll think this is an actual date."

"Please, Y/N," he started saying before his brain could catch up. "We used to be so good together."

Your eyes darkened. You bit the inside of your cheek.

"What happened?"

You folded your arms, your eyes gleaming in the dusk that had settled around the two of you. You shook your head almost helplessly.

"I don't know. You were...you were great. I loved you. You loved me. You started playing Quidditch. You got good." Your pressed your lips into a thin line. "Then you got mean."

Theo scoffed half-heartedly. "Look, I didn't -"

"You stopped listening to me, Teddy," you interrupted.

That shut him up. He didn't know what to say. You didn't sound upset or even angry. Just hollow and a little disappointed.

You took the invitation Theo had been loosely holding and scanned the details.

"What the hell," you muttered. "Sure. Why not?"

Theo blinked a few times. As hard as he had tried to persuade you, he hadn't expected you to actually agree.

"Really?"

He looked so earnest, you couldn't help yourself. You rolled your eyes almost affectionately.

"Keep your wallet away. I'll foot the bill for my dress."

"No - please, let m- "

There, in the dim twilight, with the salty evening air stinging your faces, you cut him off with a chaste kiss to his cheek.

"Night, Teddy," you murmured.

This time, he didn't try to stop you as you shut the door.

[angstywaifu]

Priority - Garrick Tavis

Anonymous Request: reader would get frustrated with garrick loyalty to xaden (hence protecting violet) and it gets all angsty because hey a girl gets insecure and she’s like “when push come to shove and its my life vs xaden, hell even violet, i don’t know if its my life you’d be saving”, but garrick redeems himself!

Masterlist | Support Me

I storm past Garrick, continuing down the hallway in the sea of riders heading to formation. I was sick of being second to Xaden and essentially Violet. So many times he had brushed me aside or left me behind because of them. Just once I wanted to feel like a priority to him. Something I hadn’t felt since Violet had bonded Tairn, putting Xaden on high alert. Which by extension, meant Garrick. I hear him calling out behind me, but I don’t turn to acknowledge him. We were under attack. And the first thing he had done is rush out of the room to get Xaden and Violet. Leaving me alone in the room to get ready.

I make it to the courtyard before Garrick makes it to me, his hand grabbing my arm to turn me around to face him. “I was calling out to you.” He tells me with a pointed stare.

I shrug my arm out of his grasp, taking a step back to get some distance from him. “I know, I could hear you.” I tell him sternly as I cross my arms over my chest.

”What’s gotten into you?” He says with a scoff.

”What’s gotten into me? Oh I don’t know, maybe I’ve finally had it with being second best to Xaden and Violet the last few months. Maybe I’ve finally had it with being so low down on your priority list that I feel like I barely exist to you any more.”

”That’s not true.” His gaze softening at my words.

”Is it? Because I’m starting to feel like when push comes to shove and it was my life vs Xaden’s, hell even Violet’s, I don’t even know if it’s my life you’d choose anymore.” I spit out at him.

Garrick just stares at me in shock, clearly not expecting me to say something like that. We kept our relationship behind closed doors, but never once had I felt like I wasn’t cared for or loved by him. But since October it had just gotten worse and worse.

”If she dies, Xaden di-”

”I am well the fuck aware what happens if she dies. We all are Garrick. We’re all looking out for them. None of us want to loose Xaden.” I nearly yell at him, causing him to flinch. “But you might have just lost me in the process.”

I turn and head into formation, not wanting to hear what else he has to say. I was getting to the point of anger where I was going to say something I’d regret or go too far. Though I might have just gone too far. I knew how close Xaden and Garrick were. Always have. But this was the first time since we’d gotten together that I had felt like this. And now I couldn’t help but wonder if I had just put the nail in the coffin of our relationship.

We were overwhelmed. Buildings were collapsing, people screaming as they tried to flee to safety. I was honestly starting to think we weren’t going to make it. We’d already lost two to the onslaught. Loud screams to my right startle me, but I have no time to react as a wall of people slam into me, knocking me to the ground.

My ears ring from the contact, amplified by the shoes that kick my head on their way past. All of them too scared to realise they’ve knocked me to the ground. I can barely register my dragon yelling in my head, unable to make out the words they throw down the bond as I try to get back to my feet. I manage to get onto my hands and knees before another shoe meets my head. My dragon continues to yell at me down the bond. I can feel their fear, panic and worry. But I still can’t make out the words they throw at me.

I push myself up again, this time being successful due to the crowd all dissipating. All but one. In the distance down the end of the street, I can just make out a blurry figure clad in robes billowing in the wind. My vision spins as I try to focus on them, my head throbbing from the effort. Shit. I’m concussed. But something tells me I need to move. Need to get to my feet and get out. But I can’t.

I try to focus on the figure again. A figure that’s much brighter in colour to their surroundings. As if the colour has drained from everything around them. I watch as the muted colours get closer and closer to me by the second. I try to stand, but my legs crumble, sending me back to the ground. I need to move, or I’m dead. I try again, grasping onto a nearby wall to try pull myself up. But my hand slips, sending me back to the ground as I cry out in pain. I roll to my side, this time the figure much clearer now my vision isn’t blurry. Watching as the Venin channels from the ground. Watching as it gets closer and closer. I have probably thirty seconds till I meet my end. Thirty seconds left and my last words to him were becoming true in more ways than one. And now I have no way to tell him I’m sorry before I’m gone. I’ll never get to take back those words.

I squeeze my eyes shut, not wanting to watch when my end will come. But they fly open when I’m pulled from the ground. I look up and see Garrick pulling me into his arms before turning and running us down the street towards Chradh who angles his leg for Garrick. Garrick doesn’t miss a beat as he runs up the makeshift ramp, holding me in his lap as he takes his seat and Chradh launches into the air.

The wind howls around us as Chradh beats his wings, propelling us higher above the chaos below as his magic washes over Garrick and I, securing us in place. I clutch onto Garrick’s flight jacket barely registering the warmth of his body through my haze of pain and fear. My head throbs with each pulse of my heart, and my vision swims, but I can’t tear my eyes away from his face. His jaw is clenched tight, his brows furrowed in concentration as he manoeuvres us out of danger.

"Garrick," I whisper, my voice barely audible over the rush of wind.

His eyes snap down to mine, and for a moment, the icy walls of detachment he’s built around himself crumble. There’s something raw in his expression. Fear, anger, relief, and something deeper that I can’t quite name.

"I thought..." My voice cracks, and I swallow hard. "I thought you didn’t care anymore."

He lets out a harsh, humourless laugh, his grip tightening around me. "Don’t care? Is that what you think? That you’re second to Xaden and Violet?" His voice breaks on Violet’s name, and his gaze darkens. "They’re my responsibility. My duty. But you—" He exhales sharply, his eyes glinting with something that looks almost like desperation. "You’re my everything. And if you ever doubt that again, I’ll—"

"You’ll what?" I manage to croak, a faint smile tugging at my lips despite the pain.

"I’ll never forgive myself," he finishes, his voice dropping to a whisper. He presses his forehead to mine, his breath warm against my skin. "You think I could survive losing you? You think I’d want to?"

I blink up at him, my heart twisting at the raw vulnerability in his voice. I’ve never seen him like this, so unguarded, so human. For all his stoicism and sharp edges, Garrick is breaking right in front of me, and it’s because of me.

"I’m sorry," I murmur, reaching up to brush my fingers against his jaw. "I didn’t mean it. I didn’t mean any of it."

He closes his eyes, leaning into my touch as if it’s the only thing grounding him. "Just don’t scare me like that again," he says softly. "Please."

Chradh lets out a low growl, drawing our attention back to the chaos below. Garrick straightens, his grip on me tightening as his eyes scan the battlefield. "We’re not out of this yet," he says grimly.

I nod, forcing myself to sit up despite the pounding in my head. "I’m with you," I say, my voice steadier now.

Garrick glances down at me, his lips twitching into the faintest hint of a smile. "Always," he says.

[fictionyoubelieve]

Transcript below the cut

[Facebook post from Philip Low on January 24 at 7:56 am:]

I have known Elon Musk at a deep level for 14 years, well before he was a household name. We used to text frequently. He would come to my birthday party and invite me to his parties. He would tell me everything about his women problems. As sons of highly accomplished men who married venuses, were violent and lost their fortunes, and who were bullied in high school, we had a number of things in common most people cannot relate to. We would hang out together late in Los Angeles. He would visit my San Diego lab. He invested in my company.

Elon is not a Nazi, per se.

He is something much better, or much worse, depending on how you look at it.

Nazis believed that an entire race was above everyone else.

Elon believes he is above everyone else. He used to think he worked on the most important problems. When I met him, he did not presume to be a technical person - he would be the first to say that he lacked the expertise to understand certain data. That happened later. Now, he acts as if he has all the solutions.

All his talk about getting to Mars to "maintain the light of consciousness" or about "free speech absolutism" is actually BS Elon knowingly feeds people to manipulate them. Everything Elon does is about acquiring and consolidating power. That is why he likes far right parties, because they are easier to control. That is also why he gave himself $56 Billion which could have gone to the people actually doing the work and innovations he is taking credit for at Tesla (the reason he does not do patents is because he would not be listed as an inventor as putting a fake inventor on a patent would kill it and moreover it would reveal the superstars behind the work). His lust for power is also why he did xAl and Neuralink, to attempt to compete with OpenAl and NeuroVigil, respectively, despite being affiliated with them. Unlike Tesla and Twitter, he was unable to conquer those companies and tried to create rivals. I fired him with cause in December 2021 when he tried to undermine NV.

Elon did two Nazi salutes.

He did them for five main reasons:

He was concerned that the "Nazi wing" of the MAGA movement, under the influence of Steve Bannon, would drive him away from Trump, somewhere in the Eisenhower Executive Office Building, rather than in the West Wing which is where he wants to be. He was already feeling raw over the fact that Trump did not follow his recommendation for Treasury Secretary and that the Senate also did not pick his first choice;

He was upset that he had had to go to Israel and Auschwitz to make up for agreeing with a Nazi sympathizer online and wanted to reclaim his "power" just like when he told advertisers to "go fuck yourself". This has nothing to do with Asperger's;

There are some Jews he actually hates: Sam Altman is amongst them;

He enjoys a good thrill and knew exactly what he was doing;

His narcissistic self was hoping the audience would reflect his abject gesture back to him, thereby showing complete control and dominion over it, and increasing his leverage over Trump. That did not happen.

Bottom line: Elon is not a Nazi but he did give two Nazi Salutes, which is completely unacceptable.

—

N.B. For the few whining about my post "sans connaissance the cause" and either trembling about my having shattered their illusions about their cult leader or thinking I am defending Elon:

I. My point is that he is transactional rather than ideological;

II. That being said, I am not defending him or his actions, just explaining them and confirming that he did, in fact, do two Nazi Salutes if anyone had doubts or believed the doctored footage of Taylor Swift doing the same thing to normalize what Elon did;

III. At some point, it matters to few people if one is a Nazi or if one acts like one. My father was a Holocaust Survivor. 32 out of 35 of his family members were murdered by Nazis. My mother's grandparents were murdered in Auschwitz;

IV. After Elon tried to manipulate NV's stock in 2021, I fired him with cause, and he was unable to exercise his stock options. In the aftermath of the Nazi Salutes, I told both him and his wealth manager to fuck off. Any remaining friendship between us ended with the Nazi Salutes. He is blocked on my end and I am pretty sure I am blocked on his;

V. I did not share what he told me in confidence. I just happen to know him extremely well, the person, the aspirations and the Musk Mask;

VI. I know who I am, have no desire to be famous and give exceedingly few media interviews. I prefer to work in obscurity and let the work speak for itself. I am certainly not envious and would definitely not want Elon's life, including living in a bubble and having to make one outlandish claim after another and manipulate the public, elections and governments to shore up my stock and prevent the bubble from bursting. Unlike Elon, I am an actual scientist and inventor and I am not pretending to be someone I am not, like a fellow who got his BA in Econ at 26 all of a sudden pretending to be an expert in mechanical engineering, chemistry, rocket science, neuroscience and Al and keeping the people actually doing the work hidden and paying people to play online games in his name to appear smart and feed his so-called "Supergenius" Personality Cult - the "Imperator" has no clothes, and he knows it. I am just very disappointed in what happened to someone I had a lot of deep admiration for and the first person to find out about my concerns about his behavior was always him;

VII. He is the one who betrayed a number of his friends, including Sergey, and, given his actions, many other people who believed him and believed in him. I have no sympathy for this behavior, and at some point, after having repeatedly confronted it in private, I believe the ethical thing to do is to speak out, forcefully and unapologetically, whatever the risks may be, so as to not be part of the timid flock remaining silent while evil is being done, including propping up far right governments around the world in part to deregulate his companies and become the first trillionaire and otherwise to "rule the planet" - he knows Mars won't be terraformed in his lifetime and he really wants his planet. No joke... Ethics matter. People matter. The truth matters.

I took down Descartes (through the Cambridge Declaration on Consciousness) and I am definitely not afraid of a so-called inventor whose greatest invention is his image.

I will not be silent. You should not be either. I am a sovereign individual, and so are you. I stood up to bullies, and am stepping out of the dark to do it again.

Stop working for him and being exploited by him. Sell your Tesla and dump your Tesla stock. Nikola Tesla was a great, creative and courageous man who led with ethics and by example and he would not have wanted for his good name to have been used by him and would agree with my principled stance. Sign off of "X" which is boosting far right propaganda, and of your Starlink as well. He is a complete cunt who doesn't give a shit about you - only about power. Just ask Reid Hoffman. He only wants to control, dominate and use you - don't let him and cut him and his businesses out of your and your loved ones' lives entirely. Remember he is a total miserable self-loathing poser, and unless you are too, he will be much more afraid of you than you should ever be of him.

He will probably come after me, and I am completely fine with that. I am a self-made multibillionaire with an armada of lawyers - literally - and most importantly, I know who I am and who I stand for, the people and their freedoms, whatever happens. He can send his dumb Proud Boys and Oath Keepers after me and they will be butchered on sight. Either way, I would rather die with honor than live as a coward.

"Silence encourages the tormentor, never the tormented." - Elie Wiesel, Holocaust Survivor and Nobel Peace Prize laureate

[Low posted the note to LinkedIn also, and shared screenshots of the full Facebook post to Bluesky here]

[kooggukk]

𖦹 ׂ 𓈒 NOBODY ELSE // JJK

genre: fwb, fuck buddies😼

note: guys i just want jungkook.. this has been sitting in my drafts for way too long haha sorry for spelling mistakes or anything i got too lazy to proofread it lol! enjoy tho💕

word count: 4.3k

being invited by jungkook’s mother for a dinner was normal for you and your family. you and jungkook grew up being neighbors, attend to the same high school and college later on — which he dropped out of.

it wasn’t because he’s dumb, he’s nowhere near that. he got bored, tired. his mother didn’t like the news when he told her, but she didn’t have a choice, other than to support his dream. jungkook always wished to be a singer.

some of his closest friends joked about it and laughed at the idea of jungkook being a worldwide celebrity. we could say that affected him a lot, he felt zero support from both sides: family & friends. he would often spend his days in his house, sitting on a particular part of his couch.

maybe you know him too well, you know that when he’s writing a song he would get a glass of beer, place it carefully on his coffee table, get his black notebook with his pen that he would click continuously when he’s deep in thoughts.

you know he would knee on the soft mattress beneath him, sitting on his feet like a cutie, focus on the lyrics with his big doe eyes.

you also know he would obviously play with his lip piercing, licking it, turning his tongue around it and what not. oh what that tongue can do.

the amount of times he had eaten you out on his couch, — on that spot of the couch — you wouldn’t even be able to count on your ten fingers. your friendship with him was different.

different, because you support him and understand him in a way nobody else had yet. but different because he fucks you, like crazy. he had fucked you in every way possible. fast, rough, deep, gentle, slow, anal. the last one was just once, though.

it all started at your birthday party, when you turned 25. you got wasted, he got tipsy, he knew about his whereabouts unlike you. he knew what was going on when he fucked you first, but what was he supposed to do when a woman like you, was literally begging to fuck you.

he felt guilty, he felt like he took advantage of the alcohol in your system. but when you woke up in the morning, with jungkook next to you, cuddled up, you didn’t freak out. you knew what happened, and you didn’t regret it. nor did he.

you know it shouldn’t be right, that it shouldn’t feel that good to get fucked by your best friend but god, you can’t help it. he admitted it, he finds you attractive. you find him it too.

but you both talked it out, no feelings. he told you he’d never want anything else from you other than your friendship and pussy.

and now, you’re sitting at the dining table with jungkook in front of you, his mother next to him and his father at the end. your mother on the other end as your father is next to you.

it’s normal, the atmosphere was comfortable and funny. the adults discussing work related stuff, your and his mother had already gossiped about someone else too.

it was a perfect night, except that jungkook hasn’t taken his eyes off of you the entire dinner, except when he got asked a question. you scolded him, non verbally with your eyes.

he’s a jerk. he just fucked you the night before, not on his couch this time though. it was in his kitchen, where he got too turned on by seeing you cut a cucumber. yes, a dang cucumber.

“so ___, i heard you finished college.” his mother spoke to you, your gaze turned to her and you smiled. “oh yes, last week actually.”

“what major were you in?” his father joined in. “psychology.” your mother interrupted and reached over to rub your back, feeling extremely proud of her daughter. you smiled, “i’m thinking about going back, i’ve been researching a lot on nursing lately.”

your eyes stopped on jungkook once again. he’s leaned back in the chair, one arm resting on the back of his mother’s chair, the other resting on his thigh. his chin is slightly lifted, looking at you as he plays with his lip piercing. fuck.

the parents continued the conversation, telling different stories about nurses as that came up. jungkook leans back to the table, resting his chin with his hands, elbows on the table.

he stares at you, not uttering a single word. you give him a small frown, not too noticeable. his eyes drop to your neck, then your chest or atleast what only was visible, then back to your eyes. you chuckled and shook your head in disbelief, he’s seriously thinking of sex right now.

you’ve tried to keep your ‘let’s fuck’ relationship with jungkook private, not going around and telling every second person that ‘hey i fuck my best friend!’. the only person who might know that you and him slept together is one of your friends from college, she saw you and jungkook that one night. the first night.

she hasn’t asked about it though, thankfully. it’s not like it was her business, so she dropped it. you knew he wouldn’t try anything with you in public, especially not in front of your parents. so that’s why it caught you off guard when you felt his leg touch yours, slightly nudging it.

you cleared your throat as you jumped a little from the surprise, a smirk on his lips as he stared at your flustered form. you cussed him out in your head, ‘fuck you’ you mouthed and he just raised a brow at that.

you rolled your eyes as you realized he wouldn’t mind that, his eyes still devouring the sight of you, almost fucking you with his eyes at this point. you don’t even wanna know what he’s thinking about at the moment.

“jungkookie, have you found yourself a girlfriend?” your mother asked, catching his attention. he fixed his posture and shook his head, “no, i’m not looking for a relationship at the moment.”

“he’s such a liar!” his mother pointed at him, “i know he’s seeing someone.” she said and took a sip of her wine. “am i?” he raised his eyebrow, his voice laced with confusion. “deny it all you want, but i found a lipstick in your pocket when you came home.”

his expression changed, his eyes somewhat turned nervous, scared even. you stared at him with a small smirk, taking a sip of your soda. he glanced at you, “must’ve been ___’s.” he chuckled and shook his head.

“and why would her lipstick be in your pocket?” his mother asked, obviously she didn’t believe him. “we came here together, i believe she put it there so she could use it if her makeup gets smudged.” he shrugged.

he was right, that was in fact the reason you put it there. “oh yeah, it’s mine.” you said, a small smile appearing on your lips. his mother nodded and with that the conversation was over. thank god.

as everyone finished eating, your and his mother disappeared into the kitchen, your fathers went outside to have a beer while ‘man talking’ or however they called it. leaving you and jungkook alone.

“you wanna die?” you scolded him, your voice was quiet not to get caught. “i swear junkook, i’ll choke you.” he grinned and rested his head on his hands, smiling at you like a child. “what?” you asked.

“choke me? is that your new kink?” he teased, his foot finding yours again under the table. you clicked your tongue and crossed your arms, “do you ever stop thinking about sex?”

“nope. impossible when you’re around me, babe.” there he goes again, he always somehow finds a way to get you hot. he just knows what to say every time. “you’re unbelievable.” you can’t help but to smile with a shake of your head.

“what? you’re acting like you didn’t just strip me off with your eyes.” he teased and you gasped, “i did not-“ you stuttered, you got caught. “you’re the one to speak.” you argued back.

“i’m not denying it, i did wish to rip that pretty blouse off you.”

“i dare you, it was expensive. the only thing ripping will be your balls when i beat you up.” he scoffed at your words. “c’mon, you wouldn’t do that.”

“you think so?” you raised an eyebrow and he hummed in response. “how would i fuck you without balls?” again, he just knows what to say to drive you crazy.

“touché.” you mumbled and raised your glass to take a sip again.

✩•.𖣠°˙★

the evening came to an end as you both bid goodbye to your parents, you thanked his mother for the delicious meal. he offered to take you home and you agreed, assuming you’d end up at his place anyways. but your parents didn’t have to know about that.

and it happened just like that, the moment you stepped in his home you were pushed to the wall with force. you gasped, jungkook didn’t leave a single second for you to react as he attacked your lips, kissing you.

he held your face in place by your cheeks, your small reticule dropped from your hand as you hugged him close, kissing him back with just as much force and desperation as he did.

his right hand went to grab your ass, then holding your thigh as you lifted it up. he immediately pushed himself closer to you, grinding his growing erection against you.

not wanting to fuck you right at the front door, he dragged you to his living room, pushing you on the couch. he grinned at you and he dropped to his knees, the loud thud must have been hurtful, but he didn’t waste a single second.

he eagerly gripped the hem of your jeans, undoing it and pulling it off you, lifting your hips to help him. “hm, good.” he praised you for that small action of yours, his voice enough to create an ocean in your panties.

he touched your knees and thighs, caressing your skin while he leaned in to plant kisses on your inner thigh. he pulled you a little down, holding your legs tightly and he spread them. “don’t close.” he demanded, his voice hoarse and it sent you shivers down your spine.

you gasped once again when you felt him kiss you on your panties, he pulled away to take off his black turtleneck sweater but went right back in, pulling off your panties in a second.

the cold air hit your core immediately, but soon replaced by the heat coming from his body. he licked a stripe down your pussy, getting a hum out of you at the familiar feeling of his mouth working on you.

your mouth fell agape when he sucked on your clit, your hands finding their way to his black hair, getting a great hold of them. he groaned at your action, he knows you like to get a hold of his hair, so he hasn’t cut it in some months now.

he pulled away, you almost whined about him stopping but then he spread your folds with his fingers, spreading your wetness on his digits. he glanced up at you when he brought them to his lips, licking them.

he hummed, “love it.” he said, his voice a low growl. one of his hand rests on your thigh, gripping it softly. the other goes to your core again, inserting his finger in you. his head goes back down, disappearing between your legs once again as he starts sucking again, his finger pumping into you.

your back arched, unintentionally. “oh, fuck,” your breath hitched, he smirked against you. he added another of his long digits, curling them inside you, he pulled away as he stared into your eyes, then his gaze dropped to his hand working on you.

he groaned at the sight, he’s slept with girls before you, it was obvious he was experienced, but he could swear on his life your pussy was the prettiest he has ever seen in his whole life.

“so pretty,” his voice was teasing and you gasped his name, pulling his head up. “shut up,” your voice was a low murmur and he raised an eyebrow at your sass.

“what? can’t i call what’s mine pretty?” he chuckled and shook his head, secretly adding a third finger. “i don’t want your fingers,” you whined, your hips moving on their own. “i need to get you stretched, babe.” he grinned and he continued, his three fingers now going in a slower pace.

“no,” you stopped his hand, “i’m okay, just-“ you licked your lips, his gaze dropping to them. “shit, just fuck me already.” your voice was more like a whisper, full of need. “you’re tight, i don’t want to hurt you.” he argued back, but his fingers were already out of you as he wiped them in his jeans.

you sat up straight on the couch, closing your legs. “c’mon, you fucked me enough already. i can take you,” he couldn’t help but to let out a small laugh and he nodded, “love that you speak your mind.”

with that said, he got up from the floor and leaned down to kiss your forehead, “i’ll be back,” that one small action of his is why you trust him, how you know that he is the right guy to be fuck buddies with.

he can be rough during sex, there’s no doubt in that, but you had experienced gentle sex too with him. roughness isn’t always necessary to get rid of the sexual frustration, and maybe, maybeeeee, you like it more when he’s gentle with you.

you like it more when his body is pressed against yours, slowly moving with the rhythm of his deep thrusts, you love it when he goes to hold your hand, either above your head or next to you, it doesn’t matter. you love it when he stares in your eyes with every thrust. unlike during rough sex, when his eyes are either closed or focused on your tits.

soon he comes back, a pack of condom with him, some tissues and a towel. “what’s the towel for?” you ask, he never brought one before. he smiled at that and when he got to you, he plopped down on the couch. “just in case.” he shrugged but you felt suspicious, he was up to something.

he put everything aside and leaned in, crashing his lips on yours once again. “how do you want it?” he asked when he pulled away, but he still managed to give a soft peck on your nose.

you frowned because he usually wasn’t like this, wasn’t so affectionate. sure, in other ways he was, especially after sex. he always takes care of you, but he never just pecks you in random places and asks how you want it.

“however you want me.” you shrugged. “you’re up to something, you’re suspicious.” you narrowed your eyes at him and he grinned. “suspicious?” he asked as he started to unbutton your blouse. you hummed and leaned back, letting him do it.

“i’m not suspicious.” he said and kissed the skin just above your breasts, he pulled the clothing off your shoulders when he finished with all the buttons, leaving you in your bra.

“you’re very detailed tonight, aren’t you?” you sighed and reached behind, undoing your bra with a smooth move. “detailed?” he frowned and reached to his belt, unbuckling it.

you hummed and reached to unzip his jeans, with a lift of his hips you pulled it down, his dick begging to be freed from his white underwear. you could feel yourself throb by just the thought of having sex with him again, when in fact you just did it yesterday too.

“it don’t bite.” jungkook chuckled when he saw you were just staring, god, almost drooling at this point. you rolled your eyes, holding the hem of the underwear. you pulled it off, his dick sprang free.

you could let anyone call you stupid, you don’t care but for sure you know that jungkook’s dick is pretty. of course it would be, that whole man is a god. he sighed in pleasure when you wrapped your fingers around him, his head thrown back.

you started off slowly, stroking him with smooth, unrushed moves as you watched his face. his eyes closed, mouth open and eyebrows knitted together. soon you picked up your pace, earning low groans and sometimes even moans from him.

you started to kiss his neck, nibbling on his soft skin. he cursed, it was his favorite when you kissed his body. his breaths came in ragged gasps, his chest heaving with every breath he took.

“shit, ___.” he uttered a low groan, “don’t stop, oh- please..” you hummed at his begging, jerking him off as fast as you could. he was close, you know well enough to see when he has an orgasm.

you see the way his thighs occasionally stiff, his grip on the pillow that reached his hand first is tight. and then you see his eyes staring down at you, sometimes rolling back and closing, then opening them again. you see how his mouth is agape, his low groans turning into soft moans and cries, his brows crashed together on his forehead.

he was just straight up mesmerizing. sometimes you felt like the luckiest woman on earth that you could capture him in this state. which he was in because of you, nobody else.

“please plea-“ his voice cracked, ending it with a louder moan as he reached his orgasm, spilling his white juice on your hand. you didn’t stop there, you slowed down your pace, but you just couldn’t stop.

he hissed when he started to feel sensitive, bringing his head straight back up from the backrest to look at you. “___, don’t,” he whined. you cupped his chin, pressing a soft, feather-light kiss on his rosy lips.

he lazily responded to it, barely moving his lips. he brought his hand on yours, stopping you from jerking him. you pulled away, “just give me a second, babe,” his voice came out hoarse, your heart skipped a beat and your pussy throbbed by the nickname.

he licked his lips, clearing his voice. “you still with me?” you smiled, your hand reaching to his hair, gently pulling a few strands of them. he scoffed and fixed his posture, his hand grabbing your thigh.

“you gotta do more than just a handjob to lose me.”

“more? i can do more.” you mumbled, your face already in his neck, kissing his skin once again.

“i know you can,” his hand went from your thigh to your hip, helping you straddle his lap. you both moved naturally, riding him is definitely in your top 3 positions.

you quickly handed him a condom from the box which he put on in a second and just like every time, your arms went around his neck, grabbing onto his shoulder while he hugged your body close to his with one of his arms, the other hand holding his cock, he carefully entered, stretching you good like he always does.

he sighed in content, enjoying your warm walls clenching around him. you hummed, letting yourself down completely on him, only to go back up, then to smash back down.

his hands grabbed your ass while you did that, helping you keep the steady rhythm. his head was now thrown back once again, you watched his adam’s apple bob when he swallowed, his mouth fell open.

you kissed his neck again, wherever you could reach. for some reason, it was your favorite spot to kiss, under his jaw, behind and under his ear, just right above his collarbone, you loved it.

oh how much he loved it too, your kisses were always wet but never to the point to leave his skin covered in saliva. you were always so gentle with him, maybe that’s what he loved the most.

he had been with a few girls before who would stupidly and harshly just bite down on his skin, leaving ugly marks all over his neck and shoulders, but with you, never. it could be to just avoid any attention by giving him hickies, or it could be because you found it too intimate, too romantic.

whatever the reason was, he knew he sometimes wished, maybe even prayed that this time you would mark him, even if it’s the smallest spot on his skin. of course, he would never tell you to do that, though. marking really does feel too intimate, and he was afraid he would cross a line with you.

he realized what he was missing out on, so he held his head up, looking at you move. your breasts moved just enough to catch his eyes. his fingers dug in your asscheeks as your own hands explored his body, from caressing his chest, then slightly brushing your fingers over his nipples, down to his ribs, and to his abs.

he felt you slowing down, “s’okay, take a break,” he whispered and you did so, stopping your movements. your chest was rising rapidly, sweat forming on both of your foreheads.

he softly pecked your cheek, lifting you up by your ass just enough so he can start pushing upwards into you. he didn’t rush anything, going slowly at a comfortable pace. “you okay?” he asked, his eyes searching for yours.

you sighed, giving him a nod but he shook his head. “words,” he mumbled, leaning in to kiss your skin just above your breasts.

“i’m okay,”

he groaned when you clenched around him, he felt himself slowly slipping down on the couch with each thrust he made, so he held you tightly, switching positions.

he made you lay down on your back, your legs wrapped around his waist without slipping out of you. he picked up a slow pace at first, his hands roaming around your body, mostly your sides.

you held his hand, “stop,” you whined, your sides are hella ticklish. “hm? what? can’t handle a little caressing?” he teased, moving his hand so slightly over your skin you got goosebumps.

you tried to push his hand away but you failed, his touches made you giggle and he smiled, glad he could still have moments like this with you in the middle of literally fucking.

all of that stopped when he suddenly smashed himself deep into you, a little harder than he did before. you couldn’t help but to moan, he straightened his posture and he spread your legs, holding your knees.

just like when you were riding him, your breasts bounced again, drawing the attention on them. he picked up the speed of his thrusts, sweat dropping from his forehead, down to his chest where it slowly dripped down his body.

“so a nurse, huh?” he suddenly said, referring to the conversation you had at the dinner. “would love to fuck this pussy in a nursing costume.” a low moan left his mouth when you clenched around him, “ya like that?” he laughed. “you want it too, yeah?”

“shut up- oh my!” your mouth fell agape in pleasure when you felt a finger pressing down on your clit, moving in every way possible. up and down, side to side, making circles. he wasn’t too rough, he knew it was one of your most sensitive parts of your body.

the top of his thighs slapped against the back of yours with every thrust, the sound of skin slapping on each other got mixed with the noise of your wet folds taking his dick, the couch slightly creaking along with heavy breathing and occasional quiet moans, whines.

you felt yourself getting closer and closer, the familiar feeling already in your stomach. you felt like you were going to explode, your eyes shut tightly as you bite down on your lip, your body ready to let go.

after a few more of his thrusts you let go, but oh! turns out it wasn’t just your usual orgasm, no, you squirted under him. he pulled out, watching your body shake and then slowly relax. “fuck,” you breathed heavily, you could have sworn you saw stars.

“did i s-“

“yes. you squirted.” he said, like that was something casual. you thought it was over, that he was done but then he did the unexpected, he pushed back in. “just a little- longer,” his words came out in gasps, pounding into you to reach his own climax too.

you whined, you felt extremely sensitive and it was slowly turning to be the opposite of pleasure, “i know, just a little more,” his voice was soft, he knew it was too much but he needed that orgasm.

then, his thrusts suddenly stopped, staying still inside you as he filled the condom, a low groan leaving his lips. he licked them, feeling like his mouth just turned drier than a desert. he pulled out and leaned down to peck your lips, “you did good,” he whispered.

you hummed, your fingers already touching your core, the wetness surprising you. “dang..” you both chuckled, you sat up and looked down, feeling uncomfortable. there was a wet spot on the towel under you, “you bitch, that’s why you needed the towel.” you shook your head in disbelief, “scared i’ll stain your sofa?”

he smiled and tilted his head, resting his ass on his heels. “actually, yes. you know it was expensive.”

“then, maybe you shouldn’t fuck me on it?”

he chuckled, “maybe, but i don’t care. you’re worth it all.”

[hgfictionwriter]

Revelations: Part Three

Jessie Fleming x Reader

Summary: If you are going to be with Jessie, then you need to accept that her daughter - and this ex - are now a part of her life. You meet them for the first time and try to determine if this is something you can endure.

Warnings: Angst. Language

A/N: Rest of series is here.

Jessie's phone lit up as a text came in and your eye was immediately drawn to it. While she had kept her phone on her at all times the past few weeks, she now kept it out in the open - perhaps some unspoken gesture to show that she had nothing further to hide.

Still, seeing Sara's name come up on her phone sent a sharp pain through your chest.

Jessie cleared her throat uncomfortably and shot you a fleeting look as she leaned forward on the couch to grab it. She opened the message in such a way that you could easily see it if you so chose to read it.

It was upsetting one way or another for you, so you might as well know exactly what was being discussed. You feigned indifference, pretending to continue watching TV, but you fully read the message.

"Hi. There's a fair this weekend with kids entertainment and stuff. I was thinking of taking Zoie. Do you want to come?"

"And, if you think Y/N is ready or wants to come, you can bring her and she can meet Zoie."

"I know she just found out and you said she's struggling a bit, but I think it's okay for her to meet Zoie at this point. Just let me know and I'll tell Zoie she's going to meet Y/N."

Jessie fidgeted as she read the message and clicked her screen off hurriedly and set the phone back down on the coffee table. You scoffed bitterly.

"Oh good. You've been talking to her about me behind my back. That's amazing, Jess," you said with a false smile and an empty laugh. "And so good to know I have permission to show up."

Jessie took a steadying breath and turned to you with a pleading look.

"I know that looks bad," she said. You sat back and gave her an even stare, inviting her to offer an explanation. She sighed heavily. "I mean, it's a lot for a young kid to suddenly meet this parent she didn't know existed and then to add another person to the mix right away, so..."

Your teeth clenched together. Though the logic stood, what spoke louder to you, whether she was saying it explicitly or not, was her defending this woman over you. It was your worst fears about this whole situation coming true.

She mattered more than you. You were an outsider.

You clicked your tongue as your anger and resentment - things you'd tried to cap since this all came to light - began to froth and boil over.

"Well forgive me for not knowing how to navigate this and knowing what's fair and right. I can't say that I've ever encountered this," you said curtly. "Everything's just so fucking complicated now."

"I know," she agreed with a heavy sigh.

Her reaction did nothing to satiate you. Instead, your frustration with everything - with her; with her choices - continued to amplify. Accusations that had flit about in your mind now bled out onto your tongue.

"Well maybe you shouldn't have been so fucking stupid."

Your words hung in the air.

"I'm sorry," she said tentatively after a beat. "I basically just told her that you knew now and-"

"That's not what I'm talking about!" You exclaimed and she was silenced into submission. "I'm talking about this whole fucking situation!"

She sat meekly, looking at you out of the corner of her eye. Your chest felt tight and tears began to burn behind your eyes. You stared hard at her, silently challenging her to offer a rebuttal, some consolation, anything, but she sat wordlessly and eventually your face screwed up with grief.

"I'm so fucking mad at you," you cried. You wanted to spit the words, show how upset and outraged you were, but instead your voice was shaky and small. You sniffled. "I know you didn't mean for this to happen. I know you don't want to hurt me. But everything's fucking different now. Everything I had planned - we had planned - it might as well not exist anymore.

"I'm so upset, and this all your fault. You didn't even care about this girl! And you got her fucking pregnant? Are you stupid?! What's wrong with you!"

Jessie winced at your reproach. Your shoulders hitched with a suppressed sob while you stared her down. She quietly took your beratement.

"I know you know how to use a fucking condom. You haven't even cummed inside me for God's sake. But you'll risk fucking her? Was her pussy that fucking good?! What the FUCK, Jessie! Now you've ruined both our lives!"

The words were out of your mouth long before your mind could properly process - and vet - them.

She sat up straight, her eyes shimmering with tears now as she looked at you.

"I know I fucked up," she said with a strangled voice. "I know it was stupid. And irresponsible. I had one stupid moment where I wasn't The Responsible One, The Mature One - always worried about the future. I was just having fun. And yes, yes," her voice broke, "now there are consequences. And I'm so sorry they're affecting you. But," she swallowed hard, "they've affected me too, you know. And, yes, it's my fault, but the future - as we both planned it - I've had to grieve it, too. And I feel so fucking horrible for doing this to us, but, if you give it space, there's good here. I've ruined your life? It's different, but it's not ruined."

She gave a laugh that was sad and bewildered all at the same time.

"When I found out, I thought the same. I was beside myself and terrified. I was just praying that this would all go away. So much regret. But once I met Zoie?" Jessie's mannerisms changed, her expression grew lighter and softer. "I didn't feel that way anymore. How could I look at her and feel like my life is ruined? And I'm really hopeful that you'll feel similar when you meet her."

Anger and resentment still swirled inside your chest. Now she was trying to make you feel like a bad person? Probably not her intention, but it felt like a criticism. You blinked through your tears.

"I'm glad you can feel that way," you told Jessie, an edge in your voice. "I don't know how I'll feel. All I know is that right now, it all feels so unfair." Your lip trembled and you hated that you couldn't control it. "And it feels like you've left me behind." More tears fell and you hugged yourself tightly. "It feels like you have a whole new life and you built it entirely without me. I just blinked and you're gone. And now it's on me to try to catch up."

"Baby," Jessie said with a mix of love and regret as she pulled you into a hug. You resisted momentarily before allowing her to embrace you. Your emotional resolved failed as well and you began to sob in her arms. She rubbed your back and held you tightly while she kissed your head. "That's not the case at all. And I'm so, so sorry that I've made you feel that way. I know it's been so much, but you are the most important person to me.-"

Lies. You couldn't be anymore.

"-I want you by my side. There's no one else I want to build a life with. And I'm sorry that I've made it feel otherwise. I love you so much."

Your body shook as she hugged you. There was so much to mourn, but most prominent right now was this realization that this was the first period in your whole relationship where you haven’t felt content in her arms; where she wasn't the solution. Your safety.

You felt conflicted. A large part of you still desperately wanted her. You still loved her to your core. But part of you was desperate to escape.

"I don't need to go this weekend," Jessie said softly as she kissed your head.

Your stomach twisted in knots.

If you wanted a future with Jessie, you needed to get onboard. You couldn't stand on the sidelines. You couldn't hold her back. She was never yours alone, a thing to possess and keep, and this was a good reminder of that.

You had to integrate yourself and be a part of this, as uncomfortable and intimidating as it felt. Maybe things would be easier if you just dove head first.

You relented.

"Let's go."

She pulled back slowly to eye you skeptically. She tucked your hair behind your ear. "We really don't have to," she assured you. "I don't want to rush you. There's plenty of time."

"I want to meet her," you affirmed.

Jessie continued to study you, but her face slowly lit up and she laughed quietly. "Thank you. Honestly. This means so much. I really think you'll fall in love with her. I want us to do this together." She tamped her burgeoning excitement and spoke in earnest. "You sure? Because I also fully understand if you're not at this point yet."

You didn't break your gaze.

"I'm fine, Jess. I'll be okay."

----

"Are you ready?"

You weren't.

"Yeah," you said with as reassuring a smile as you could conjure.

"I love you more than anything. You know that right?" Jessie said as she leaned over the center console in your car and gave you a sweet kiss. You nodded. "Okay," she said softly as she grabbed the keys. "And nudge me and text me if you get overwhelmed and want to leave at any point. Okay?"

"Yes," you breathed as patiently as you could. Her offer was considerate, but it seemed to just emphasize that you were fragile and that - as she'd told her ex - you were struggling. You'd be damned if you gave an admission of weakness today.

You two got out of the car and Jessie held your hand as you made your way to the entrance of the pop-up fair. You looked idly around and tried to take deep, but subtle breaths, as your heart steadily began to pound louder and faster in your chest.

You watched Jessie out of the corner of your eye and saw when a small smile crossed her face. She began to wave.

You followed her gaze to see a woman and a young child standing alongside the path. Your eyes fell to who must've been Sara. She was unfortunately beautiful and it made your insides churn. Between Jessie's good looks and this woman's, no wonder Zoie was so cute.

You hated it. And you hated yourself for even thinking it.

Soon your eyes fell to Zoie. She smiled ear to ear upon seeing Jessie and looked up to Sara for silent permission before running towards Jessie.

You made sure to smile, but beyond that you weren't really aware of what you were doing or how you were acting. You were so transfixed on how Jessie shot you a quick smile and squeezed your hand before releasing you and embracing Zoie, lifting her up with an exaggerated groan and placing her on her hip.

"Oh my gosh, are you taller than last week? You seem it," Jessie joked as she kissed Zoie's cheek, pulling a laugh out of the little girl. "You must've been eating your veggies all week, then."

"Ew," Zoie laughed as she turned back to Sara.

"She hasn't been so bad," Sara said conspiratorially as she approached, pinching Zoie's cheek playfully as she spoke to her daughter. "Hey honey? Not since I told you you need to eat your veggies if you want to be big and strong like mama Jessie."

You almost fucking choked.

'Mama'? 'Mama Jessie'? Jessie had severely neglected to tell you she held such titles already and it made you sick to your stomach.

"Hey, Zo, I have someone that I'm really excited for you to meet," Jessie cut in with a broad smile as she angled her body towards you. "Zoie, this is my fiancée, Y/N."

You tried to rally and refocus. You smiled and gave her a wave.

"Hi Zoie, it's so nice to meet you," you greeted. She tucked her head into Jessie a bit and gave you a shy smile and raised her hand in a small wave. "I really like your shirt," you offered warmly as you pointed to it. She laughed shyly, her cheeks growing pink so much like Jessie's would.

"Oh yeah, cute puppies," Jessie agreed as she gave a gentle poke on the cartoon image on her daughter's shirt.

"Mommy got it for me yesterday because she said we can't have a real puppy," Zoie explained with a bit of a pout.

"Yeah?" Jessie laughed. "Were you asking for one?"

"Our neighbour got a new puppy and I got to play with him. I really want one," she answered.

"Well, listen to your mom for now. A puppy's a lot of responsibility. Maybe someday you can have one," Jessie replied.

'Mom'. When Jessie said that to her kid, it was supposed to be about you. That was supposed to be your kid on her hip that she was looking at so adoringly. But it wasn't.

Your eyes flicked over to Sara who was laughing at the whole exchange and you just felt like your chest was turning inside out. You tried to ignore your pulse pounding in your head.

Zoie still looked disappointed, but less so and eventually hope filled her eyes.

"Can you get one? Then maybe that means I can play with it too," she asked Jessie with a grin. Jessie laughed and looked at you; you immediately caught yourself and slapped a smile on your face.

"I'm afraid not," she replied, amused. "A puppy's too much responsibility even for us."

Zoie was watching you curiously now.

"I like your hair," she said quietly.

"Oh," you said in surprise, your hand coming up and tucking it behind your ear self-consciously. "Thank you. That's very kind of you. I bet you get compliments on your hair all the time. It's very nice." You steeled yourself. "Just like your mama's."

She giggled, burying herself further into Jessie's arms.

"She's been so excited to meet you," Sara said as she walked around and held out her hand with a smile. "I'm Sara. It's really nice to meet you."

You smiled at the woman who was stealing your future wife away from you. Someone who Jessie chose to fuck freely - recklessly, irresponsibly - and knocked up, forever skewing your paths forward.

You shook her hand.

"Hi. I'm Y/N. Nice to meet you, too."

"So. Want to head in?" Jessie asked as she set Zoie down. The girl nodded enthusiastically. Jessie gave an exaggerated gesture of her head towards the gates. "Let's get going then."

Jessie looked at you, smiling affectionately as she took your hand. Still, you could see the way she keenly gauged you despite her easy going air. She was nervous about you. What you were thinking, what you were feeling.

Rightfully so. Because right now you just wanted to grab the keys out of her pocket and drive as far away from here as you could.

Instead, you held her hand and walked alongside her.

As the four of you explored the grounds and activities, it became obvious to you how comfortable the three of them were together. Sure, Sara and Jessie were a bit awkward, but much more comfortable than you'd expected. It had only been a couple of months, but the three of them - in your opinion - looked like an honest to God family.

And it fucking hurt.

You tried to stay engaged and to be open and positive, but you couldn't help but feel so...other. Like a spare. You felt out of place. Like you were intruding. It's like you were suddenly transplanted into another life or reality. This couldn't possibly be your life.

You could see how Jessie tried to involve you. You'd wondered if she'd behave differently with Sara there, but she didn't. She was affectionate and sweet and it was one small reprieve in this sea of hurt and uncertainty.

Hell, as much as you wanted to despise Sara, you couldn't deny she was open and inviting towards you.

Although, you guess you'd be feeling pretty confident too if you swooped in and usurped a five-year relationship.

Despite your efforts, a cloud of realization fell further and further over you that this was some kind of newly restored natural order. If Sara had realized sooner that she was pregnant, maybe Jessie wouldn't have gone to London. Or even if she went, maybe Sara would've gone with her and, maybe, in time, they would've fallen in love.

Regardless, this - two parents enjoying a local fair with their kid - is exactly what their life would've been. You, on the other hand, wouldn't be here.

The only reason you were in Portland was because of Jessie. Because she came to London you met and fell in love. The way your love had grown and how your relationship has deepened, it felt too good to be true.

Well. Maybe it was. Maybe it was never truly meant to be.

At some point, Sara was in the washroom and Jessie was retrieving an order of food from a kiosk, leaving you and Zoie sitting together, holding the table.

"Do you have kids?" Zoie asked as she swung her legs back and forth on the bench seat. You blinked momentarily in confusion, but smiled out of habit.

"Me? No," you said, hating how your tone dipped in disappointment. You cleared your throat. "No kids." Zoie seemed to contemplate this.

"Okay. Mommy said you didn't. So, I guess I don't have any siblings. But I didn't think I had a mama and now I do. But if you and mama have a kid then I'll have a sister or brother, right?" She asked, looking up at you with her big, dark eyes. You forced yourself to maintain your smile and banish any waves of sadness that threatened you.

"That's right, sweetie," you said softly. She smiled quietly.

"I think I'd really like to have a little brother or sister someday."

Your smile cracked momentarily and you found yourself looking over your shoulder to seek out Jessie. You found her easily; you always did. But when you'd normally smile subconsciously just at the mere sighting of her, now your stomach felt heavy with uncertainty.

You smiled at Zoie again.

"We'll see, I guess."

It felt like a lie. Jessie and you had always agreed that you'd have kids together someday, but it felt like that had been ripped out from beneath your feet. It was like she'd jumped ahead, leagues ahead of you and you were now all alone with this empty dream.

In time, you and Jessie bid Sara and Zoie goodbye, the little girl even giving you a quick hug around your legs before returning to her mother's side.

Jessie tried valiantly to not push too much on the drive home, but she couldn't hide her keen interest in deciphering your takeaways and feelings. She was so hopeful and earnest and, well, you felt ashamed for being anything less than happy.

Zoie was legitimately sweet and so cute. She was lovely. And above all, was clearly thrilled to have a new parent in her life. Who wouldn't be thrilled to have Jessie in their life?

And try as you might to detest Sara, there was nothing outwardly horrible about her. You know, other than she held the space and role in Jessie's life that should've been yours. You had to fend off a pang of jealousy any time she smiled and laughed with Jessie over Zoie.

Truth was, you felt conflicted. Out of sorts. It wasn't that you didn't like Zoie. You did. It was just...everything. And at some point, Jessie's eagerness felt oppressive and smothering. Like today was supposed to be some magical moment that would resolve and rectify everything. It felt like you weren't allowed to still feel upset.

Eventually, your lack of enthusiastic validation got to her and soon you were on the couch with a show on, but with neither of you paying attention. Now you were both sullen and withdrawn.

Jessie fidgeted on the couch and was texting rapidly back and forth with someone. You could see out of the corner of your eye it was Janine. You couldn't help yourself.

"Talking about me?" You challenged.

Jessie took a calming breath and gave you a slow stare.

"Go on. Tell me what you're saying to her about me," you pushed, voice prim and hoity.

She exhaled. "I'm just telling her how the day went."

You chuckled dryly. "I bet your recollection to her is different than what you told me," you said with a grin that didn't reach your eyes.

"Why are you being like this?" Jessie asked, frustration creeping into her voice.

"I just want to know what you really thought," you carried on undeterred. You held out your hand for her phone. "Let's see."

You never demanded things like this before. You didn't used to be distrustful or hostile either. But, everything was different now.

"Oh my God," she muttered irritably under her breath as she discretely rolled her eyes and pushed her phone into your hand rather firmly. She sank deeper into the couch and crossed her arms. "Go ahead," she said in a flat tone.

You smirked smugly, though you felt unhappy. You scrolled up to the start of their conversation and took a deep breath as you started to read.

While you felt self-righteous moments before, as you read through their conversation, that too-familiar pit in your stomach grew heavier.

You weren't sure why you were expecting to see negative messages from Jessie about you - she'd never said bad things about you before. And sure enough, she placed no blame on you. Instead, you saw her talk about how great you were today. How sweet you were to Zoie. That Zoie was shy at first, but took a liking to you and even asked her when she could come visit you two at the apartment.

Instead, you saw her express disappointment in herself because despite all of that, you were hurting. She just couldn't seem to manage to do anything other than hurt you lately. Her disappointment in how she failed to navigate this better. To make it easier for you.

Then, worse, her own upset. That she felt helpless in a way. She told Janine how you said she ruined your life, and when she sees you hurting she can't help but wonder if maybe she did. It's difficult and confusing hating herself for that, but at the same time loving Zoie and hating feeling like she needs to apologize for having her. She didn't want to feel guilty or ashamed of having her. It felt like she needed to apologize for Zoie's existence, but she doesn't want to do that. And she can't tell you any of this because you've already supported her so much and made so many concessions for her. You had enough to worry about and to manage. You didn't need to worry about her too.

You looked over at her with misty eyes.

"You didn't ruin my life, Jess," you said quietly.

She looked at you, but didn't respond. You carried on.

"And you shouldn't feel guilty or ashamed of Zoie. She doesn't deserve that at all," you added. Jessie simply gave a nod of acceptance.

"I'm angry about things and I'm hurt, but, none of this is directed at her. Please. It's just been...a lot for me to adjust to."

"I know, baby," Jessie said as she took your hand and kissed the back of it. "I appreciate everything you're doing more than you'll ever know."

A heavy silence fell over you two. Jessie's head was down and she stroked the back of your hand as she held it in both of hers. When she spoke, her voice was small and she was too afraid to meet your gaze.

"Do you still love me?"

Love wasn't the question. Love wasn't the issue. The question was, is love enough? And to that, you didn't know the answer.

Still. You squeezed her hand.

"Of course."

A/N: Tag request - @valuyhh

[lovelyyandereaddictionpoint]

Yandere Streamer Boyfriend//////

Rules | Kofi | Masterlist

Streamer boyfriend who on the first date is really upfront about what he does. What seemed like a preview of transparency turns out to be a warning for the erosion of your privacy. As you begin to spend more time with your Streamer Boyfriend you’ll find just how much it’s beginning to bother you.

“Chat you guys are so mean! Their bathroom is a little messy but it’s not a red flag!”

Off-screen and whispering you ask, “Why are you filming in my bathroom?”

“Because chat wanted to take a look at your place? Why what’s the matter?”

“I don’t want these random people knowing the layout of my house!”

“Oh….well you can stay at mine if you want...for safety!”

If it weren’t for his impossibly good looks and otherwise male wife behavior you would have left him then and organizing your schedules so that you’re not forced to be a part of his vlogging. It’s a little tiring because sometimes he ‘forgets’ or ‘slips up’ putting more of yourself on the internet than you were ever okay with doing. 

“Everyone be sure to tune in four hours by then I’ll have eaten, slept, and finally get to tear up that cute jumper my baby’s got on.”

“Wrath!?”

“Sorry guys signing off! See y’all later!”

You give him the benefit of the doubt. It’s his livelihood, his business, his community, his hobby—you wouldn’t want to take that away just cause it occasionally makes you uncomfortable. So you excuse them all. His mistakes, his overreaching. It doesn’t really hit you in the face until something terrible has happened.

“Are you (Y/n) (L/n)?”

“Is there a problem officer?”

“I’ve been told to inform you…about your cousin's passing.”

“Oh my gosh!? No!”

“We’d also like to know when’s the last time you spoke to them…we suspect this is likely a homicide.”

Your poor cousin who you recently reconnected with has violently perished. Unfortunately because the majority of your family is out of the country or otherwise indisposed, it’s up to you to handle most of their investigation. Identifying her mutilated body and telling the detectives what you knew about each of their friends. For a while, the investigating officers are relieved to know you have a loving boyfriend to support you during this rough time only for that relief to turn into disgust when your boyfriend whips his phone out in the morgue….

“I’m going back to mine. I’ll have my friends come pick anything else I need.”

“B-but babe weren’t you worried about your place getting exposed? I-I’m okay if we take the break at mine–”

“No. I’ll be staying with a friend.”

 “Who?”

“None of your business. Thanks for the…memories.”

It's a shame you are no longer dating the infamous WrathWarrior according to your more distant friends who ignore the reason you left in the first place. Thankfully a few good friends are all you need, you take on the funeral preparations, and the rest of the homicide investigation smoothly. When you aren’t crying your eyes out, brainstorming with a detective, or crying in your bed you occasionally venture to your ex-streamer boyfriend’s stream. 

“Hey everyone it is Day 11 of being without the love of my life….Let’s have fun, with this game today.”

There he is still smiling and streaming as if he didn’t do this to himself.  You figure it’s better off this way. If he had the camera in your face during moments of crisis, he may have never come to respect your desire for privacy and would one day cross a line that would change everything forever. It really was better off this way.

‘Go back to him. You don’t want anyone else to die.’

The cryptic message on your social media came a month after your breakup. Still recovering from your loss and suffering the sting of an unsolved investigation, you are puzzled over the message from what looks like a newly created account. Knowing better than to click on some scammer's link, you blocked the message, thinking that would be the end of whatever weird new scam this was. But alas, a newer account sent the same thing on everything, including your direct messages.

“See detective? Isn’t this weird? It wouldn’t let me take a screenshot but it’s in every app!”

SNAP

“Well, we’ve got a record of it now. Don’t click the link until I can get the team to hook up to this. Go home stay safe.”

Doing as you're told, you return to your temporary home. Waiting for your friend to return you end up looking at the message again, filling the hours with your theorizing at the mysterious link and the ominous tone of the words itself. Narrowing down who it could be there’s only one man you can think of needing to ‘go back to’ is none other than Wrath. When you think about it that way this makes sense that it’s some dedicated and deluded fan probably some mining link to get more of your private info. You sighed exiting the app and attempting to relax again while waiting for your friend to return…they should of got off work hours ago…

Ring. Ding. 

Your phone rings with a new message and reading it makes your blood run cold.

‘You need to see this. It’s about your friend.’

It feels voyeuristic that this unknown person would have the answers to your creeping anxiety. The urgency of the message makes it that much easier to ignore the detective’s warnings, finally clicking on the link. Expecting to see your phone flash with a threat for your information you aren’t prepared for the video that loads. Seeing a blurry video of some incredibly familiar pixels squirming in a chair slowly becoming clearer.

“This is Day 34 of being without the love of my life and we’re getting ready for a very special night where we break-in some of our new arrivals. Especially this one.” 

It’s Wrath unmasked and pulling at the hair of what is definitely your friend crying behind a ball of cloth. It’s horrifying and you almost don’t believe what your seeing is even real. The continued ramblings of Wrath fogging your brain as you try and piece everything together. The controls to interact were darker than the streams you’d looked at before, the url for the website was different, and most glaringly different was the oddly opulent room with furniture restraining your friend. 

“On top of this thing,” he poked at them aggressively–no doubt puncturing with his nail.”We’ve also got an entire group. Silly little investigators looks like they’ve never heard of Wrath’s Colloseum! Guess we’ll have to show all of them what kind of fun we get down to chat!”

The familiar officers and the detective being wheeled in on chairs matching that of your friend’s. It looked like a row of electric chairs attached to one another, wood and dotted with the blood of what you guess must be from past ‘guests’.

Your phone rings again. It’s the anonymous user.

‘It’s up to you. If they live.’

The message was your last wake-up call. Wrath had pulled out a tray of tools, showing them off to the camera as he spoke about what gruesome bloody acts he could do. He kept turning back to your friend who wiggled in protest everytime, he decided to model what the tool would do. It’s then that you were finally able to do something about this. 

RING–

“Hello?”

“...Hey, I really missed you and I was wondering if you could come over. Like right now.”

You tried to silence your trembling breath. Watching the man on his stream kick his foot up. 

“Awww so cute! Are you drunk calling me? Ugh you’re just as precious as before!” You let out a relieved sigh, thankfully you could save your friend and the investigators tied on screen. “But Daddy’s got a wrap something up so I’m going to make it as soon as I get finished okay?”

No that was not okay! If he finished what he wanted to you wouldn’t have a friend or any local police dedicated to solving your case. So with bated breath you reveal your only card.

“Wait! Please don’t kill them! I’ll get back with you! I’ll do anything just don’t hurt them!”

You watched the wistful kicking from your streamer boyfriend stop slowly turning to the camera. Completely unmasked and wearing a leaver trenchcoat stained with dried crimson spots, he saunters over to the camera lens. Staring into your soul through the lens he smiles. Just like he used to when you’d chat from your alt account, or when you agreed to hold the camera for a cooking stream or when you told him you loved him even though he was a streamer. But it turns out that was the least of your worries when it came to your exboyfriend. In truth, your ex-boyfriend was the worst kind of monster–an untouchable one. A monster that can abduct and torture people without needing to cover his face. An entertainer who was so coonsumed by his career that he had no problem letting the talons of his lifestyle suffocate anyone who tried to impede it. 

“So your watching, huh?”

The voice echoes from your phone and the stream playing on your computer. You barely have half a mind to see what the chat says firing off so incredibly fast. 

‘Is that them?’

‘ is honey bun back’

‘KILL THEM ALREADY’

‘aw is this the end of the series’

Your exboyfriend giggles at chat’s messages, turning to look over his shoulder openly sneering at all of his victims. He quickly snaps back

“Alright sweetie, I’ll save one just for you. Even better I’ll give them the antidote to a little concoction of mine if you come and join us on stream!”

“But I don’t know where you are and–”

“I’ll come pick you up in a bit, after chat votes on what we’ll be doing to the unclaimed meat. Like that chat? A big bang to wrap up the worst series of my life? I think that sounds like a great idea, chat!”

[fromchaostocosmos]

When those alternative histories are presented what they are really saying is what if we, the rest of the world, got the bad ending too?

That is what they mean.

And when they do them they don't explore and accurately portray the reality of what such a world would look like.

They always ignore Imperial Japan and the horrors they did through out Asia and how that would have just kept going.

They ignore that the Nazi's long term goal was sterilize Black Europeans.

They ignore that if the Holocaust went on a few more years the odds are the entirety of European Jewry would have been totally wiped out as well as the Roma.

The reason is because when these these types of alternative history perspectives in which the Nazis/Axis Powers win are almost always told from a white christian able-bodied heteronormative cisgender one.

And who does not actually know the history. But wants to have that totalitarian vibe, but without having to do any of their own world building.

Because the thing is if done right and by the right person I do think a story that was set in a if the axis powers won type of thing could be an effective medium to show the reality of the brutality and just how much of the Nazi ideology was based on Judenhass, Jewish hate.

Because the the Judenhass is something that also gets missed a lot.

As well just how much people knew what was happening to the Jews and the Roma, and that is quite a lot.

To the Nazis and the Nazi ideology homelessness, poverty, queerness, disabled people etc. are all machinations of The Jew to undermine the Good and Righteous Society.

[The Jew creates poverty and that makes homelessness, and those who are homeless are puppets of The Jew and thus are bad. Anyone who is not in heterosexual relationship and having children are again a product of The Jew to destroy Society and that is also why The Jew created pornography. The Jew also creates for there to the impaired, infirm, and disabled to undermine the best of the genetic pool.]

That is the Nazi ideology and what they believed and what neo-Nazis still believe. I put that paragraph in brackets because I'm not quoting anyone I'm writing what they believed, but I want to make it clear that I am not directly quoting anyone and that, and this should be obvious, this is not something I believe in myself.

being a jew studying preholocaust european jewish history is just *mourns over what could have been, mourns over what could have been, mourns over what could have been, mourns over what could have been, mourns-*

[atzloverr]

Our unsaid truths - chapter 4

previous chapter - next chapter

series masterlist

cw: cheating (Y/n didn’t), past relationship (trauma? if u can call it that), food mentioned, Yunho flirts a littleeeee

pairings: poly!atz x reader, Hongjoong x reader, Yunho x reader

You had to admit that it hurt, seeing him after all these years. Seeing him was a harsh reminder. All those memories you had prayed for your mind to forget all came rushing back to you in a second.

”You okay there?” Hongjoong waved in front of your distracted eyes. ”Oh, yeah sure!” you smiled brightly, trying your best to make it look natural.

You told Hongjoong a white lie about having to go get some makeup-remover, just so you could be by yourself for a bit, and also flee from the situation that you feared would occur.

You hadn’t seen Minjun ever since that night. That night when you finally confronted him about the cheating.

You could still envision it so vividly, his collection of lies and threats when you told him what you had seen, read, heard. Seeing him now, seeing that his life seemed so unaffected by it, that was what made it so hard.

You looked at the time - you didn’t want to make Hongjoong suspicious by being away for too long - and you figured you had to go back now.

For every step you took, you looked around, making sure you wouldn’t bump into him. You didn’t care about that asshole, so why did you feel such a strong need to prove yourself to him? Prove that you were fine? That what had happened hadn’t affected you either?

No sane person would be unaffected by a year-long relationship ending like that, so why did you crave him to have that idea of you?

”Do we have everything?” you asked Hongjoong after the longer-than-usual walk back to him. You prayed he didn’t notice when you still looked over your shoulder every now and then.

”Yeah, I think that’s it!” Hongjoong smiled before the two of you started making your way to the cashiers.

These little trips to the grocery store that you sometimes accompanied Hongjoong on were some of the few times you actually spend one-on-one time with him.

You knew how much he meant to Seonghwa, so therefore he meant a lot to you too, before you had even met him.

You helped Hongjoong load the groceries, hearing him mutter something about how expensive everything was nowadays. You laughed at his frown, finding his little annoyed face adorable.

Everything felt fine, until you suddenly felt a big hand meet your shoulder. Your eyes widened, and your smile dropped before you could even turn around, because you knew that touch.

You had seen him approach in the corner of your eye, but you just kept your back turned, praying that he wouldn’t see you.

”Y/n? Is that really you?” you heard his voice say. You took a deep breath before turning around.

”Minjun? Wow, it’s been a while hasn’t it?” you said with that smile that you often used at work, that customer-service smile that everyone seemed to fall for. Minjun wasn’t exactly smart, so you doubted that he’d notice.

”Wow, it really has!” he said before doing what made you instantly stiffen. You hated the familiarity in his grip as he wrapped his arms around you.

”And you are?” Hongjoong asked from behind you, having just loaded the last of the things.

Minjun finally backed off, raising his eyebrows at Hongjoong with a smile. ”Haven’t told your new boyfriend about me? Wow I’m hurt,” he said, grabbing his chest and frowning. You were about to try and laugh it off before making some excuse about being in a hurry or something, but Hongjoong beat you to it.

”Sorry, but would you mind leaving? There’s a line behind you, and I don’t think they appreciate you standing in their way.”

You could hear that Hongjoong was pissed off, but he - like you - also had a big, fake smile on his face. You endured the last seconds of Minjun’s company in discomfort as he unfortunately felt the need to hug you again, and make some snarky remark about your new boyfriend being ’cute and tiny’.

You and Hongjoong stayed silent as you walked to the car, and the second you heard the rumble of the engine, you took a deep breath. You knew you had to say something, give him an explanation, maybe just an excuse.

”Who’s he?” Hongjoong asked, tone stiff. He was clearly annoyed. ”He’s my ex.”

You looked down into your lap, your hands fidgeting with the hem of your knitted sweater. ”How are you feeling?” he asked, and you looked at him in confusion. You had expected him to interrogate you, ask you when you dated, for how long, how and why things ended, why you would ever date such a guy, and so on. But no. He just asked you how you felt.

”Well, honestly…” you started after a pause. ”Seeing him really hurt.”

Hongjoong hummed, encouraging you to continue. ”I thought I’d be over it, but honestly, it was worse than ever today.”

You watched the road as Hongjoong took a different route, the one that took 20 minutes, instead of just 10. ”Go on,” Hongjoong said as you paused.

You sighed. ”Please, I don’t want to burden you with my past relationships. I don’t even talk to Seonghwa about this—” you tried, but Hongjoong shook his head with determination. ”You won’t burden me one bit, Y/n. All I want is for you to feel safe, feel comfortable.”

You smiled at those words before thinking of where to start.

”…I first met Minjun when we were just eighteen.”

𓆝 𓆟 𓆞 𓆝 𓆟

You exhaled deeply when Hongjoong pulled up to the driveway. The little detour you took turned out to be an even longer one than expected, but you couldn’t complain one bit. You had told Hongjoong about your past relationship, how worried you felt that the same thing would happen again, how you doubted yourself, how you wondered if it had all been your fault.

Hongjoong listened as you rambled on, and you were so thankful that he didn’t judge you, that he didn’t call your worries immature or irrational.

When you were about to get home, Hongjoong said something that seemed to be exactly what you wanted to hear.

”You really are amazing, Y/n,” he said softly. You blinked in confusion at the unexpected comment. ”I don’t think you understand how admirable you are, and how much you really mean to all of us,” Hongjoong continued.

You were at a loss for words. ”And hearing that you’ve managed to handle all of this - all of us - even when you’ve been through these things, it shows how strong you are.”

”Hongjoong, you don’t have to say this just because—”, ”No, listen. I mean every single word I say. We all trust you, and you need to credit yourself for how well you’ve responded to our relationship.”

His words echoed in your brain as you entered the house, the only thing being able to break you out of the trance-like state you were in being San who rushed into the hallway as you entered.

He immediately took the two bags from your hands, rushing to put them away, before he returned to wrap you in his strong arms.

You giggled as he lifted you up and spun you around in his arms. ”Welcome home,” he smiled into your neck. Hongjoong eyed the two of you with a smile. Aside from your dating history, you had told Hongjoong about the previous night as well. 
Although you sometimes wondered if the others would be uncomfortable with such information, Hongjoong managed to assure you that that wasn’t the case. He made sure to express how happy he was about it, and how you didn’t have to feel ashamed over anything.

He gave you a knowing glance when San was hugging him, making you blush. You hadn’t intended to tell him the details, but he seemed to be able to draw it out of you.

It was one of those sundays that were meant for doing absolutely nothing, that or grocery shopping with Hongjoong, or helping Seonghwa clean, like you were right now.

In the morning, Seonghwa had left to go shopping for something (you couldn’t remember what it was) so he left you a little note, saying that he didn’t want to wake you up and that he would be home by three.

Hence the reason you hadn’t been able to update him about the previous night’s events yet.

You shyly brought it up while folding some laundry, and his eyes widened dramatically when you finally told him that you had managed to kiss both Yunho and San.

”Really? They didn’t pressure you to do it though, right?” he asked worriedly. You laughed, shaking your head. ”Of course not,” you reassured, making him breathe out in relief.

”But, I really don’t want to step on anyone’s toes, and I don’t want to make you uncomfortable in any way, so…” you rambled on, looking down at the floor. ”Are you sure this is okay? I thought that- maybe I should’ve asked you—” you got quieter for each word, feeling self conscious all of a sudden.

”Hey, listen to me,” Seonghwa said, hands meeting the sides of your cheeks to make you look at him. ”I meant what I said when I said that I’m completely comfortable with it, hell, I’d even say that I’ll encourage it, but of course, I don’t want you to do something that you don’t want to,” he explained.

You looked into his dark eyes, and you felt how genuine they were. You felt reassured, and you realized that these worries hadn’t been so present yesterday night, or even this morning. Maybe seeing Minjun again planted this seed, this seed of uncertainty and insecurity. You knew deep down that Seonghwa would tell you if he wasn’t okay with it, you knew that you wouldn’t be held in the dark, but the fear still stayed there, constantly existing in the back of your head.

”I saw Minjun today,” you suddenly blurted out. You needed to say it, just to get it off of your chest. Seonghwa’s face dropped.

Sure, he didn’t know all of the details of your relationship, but he knew enough to know that it was a sensitive subject to you.

”Oh my god,” he said, caressing your face. You took a deep breath. ”It felt horrible to see him. It felt like everything came crashing back down on me again.”

Seonghwa listened, sitting down on the bed next to the large piles of laundry (you didn’t know why Seonghwa insisted that you two always do everyone’s laundry).

”But then, I talked to Hongjoong about it. I told him exactly what was on my mind when I saw him, exactly how the whole situation affected me, and now—” you smiled. ”Now I’m sure I’ll be fine.”

𓆝 𓆟 𓆞 𓆝 𓆟

You sat back in your chair, putting your hands on your stomach. ”I’m stuffed,” you said, looking at the plate that you had somehow managed to empty of food.

Wooyoung looked at you with a proud smile, him being the one who cooked the meal.

Yunho sat at his usual spot, in between you and Jongho. Seeing him after last night, you almost expected him to be shy or embarrassed, judging from how shy he seemed when you kissed him. But as you met him in the dining room, you saw a big smirk on his face. The hug he gave you was longer than usual, and you couldn’t help but squeak when you felt his big hands tighten around your waist, fingers digging into your flesh ever so slightly.

It seemed you were the shy one, feeling flushed when he whispered in your ear. ”I’ll get you back for catching me off guard like that.”

”Alright,” Hongjoong caught everyones attention. ”We need to discuss the trip next weekend.”

Oh right, you thought. You had almost forgotten about their seasonal trip to their cabin in the woods.

You straightened your posture, listening to Yunho who spoke up. ”Everyone’s coming, right?” he asked, looking around. His gaze stopped on you, making you look away.

”We don’t know that,” Hongjoong said, looking at you with a raised eyebrow. ”Y/n hasn’t said if she’s coming yet.”

You suddenly felt everyone’s eyes on you, anticipating your answer. ”Oh, me?” you said, voice a little higher than normal.

”Of course you’re coming! It’s a tradition!” Wooyoung said, making you bite your lip in thought. ”Hmm… I don’t know,” you said, looking down. ”I don’t want to impose or anything. I know this is your thing…”

”You’re not imposing,” Seonghwa said. ”You’re a part of us now, and I’d really like you to come,” Seonghwa looked at you with his soft eyes, his hand finding yours and rubbing the back of it with his thumb.

”Yeah! It wouldn’t be the same without you!” Mingi said, his smile wide, already making you feel better.

You heard hums of agreement around the table. ”Well,” you started, taking a deep breath. ”I mean… If you’re all sure it’s okay.”

”It’s more than okay,” Yunho said, catching your attention. ”We’ll have so much fun! And trust me, you won’t want to miss seeing Mingi attempt to fish,” he said in a very audible whisper, glancing at Mingi with a playful smile.

”Hey! I’m a great fisherman!” Mingi protested, making you giggle.

”Alright,” you finally said, but felt the need to check one more time. ”But are you guys sure it’s okay? It’s fine if it’s not—” you tried, not wanting to risk being a burden.

”Oh hush now,” Hongjoong said. ”We all really want you to come with us,” he said. It always felt good to hear it from him.

”Alright, I’ll come.” 
San and Wooyoung cheered loudly. ”This is going to be the best trip ever!” Wooyoung said.

As the others continued talking about the trip, you felt your sense of belonging only grew.

Thank you all for the positive feedback on this story!!!! It means soooo much and thank you to everyone who supports this by reblogging/liking/commenting!!! Don’t be shy to send requests!!

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masterlist

[esamastation]

Hello, here follows a bit of original LITRPG writing in the form of a forum post. I have no idea how to explain or what to title it. It is a thing.

In which the origin of System is pondered upon.

-

Theories of Apocalypse forum

The System - is it human made? by the Witchess of Londonium, 1st of June, 20xx

Guys, I figured it out, I connected the dots. 

The System wasn't created by the IFAR. 

I know, I know, there's like a billion theories about this, and of course everyone knows what the Elves say. The System is a Gift to all of humanity. Sure. And then there's that crackpot Mayfeather's theory about it being inheritance from ancient aliens that bred with humans thousands of years ago. Personally I think that's just because he wants a harem of furries, but each to their own. And then there's the stuff about american military experiments that went rogue, but that seems a bit too much of a coinkydink for me, what with the apocalypse happening at the same time.

Though, now that I think about it, a weird human program would go rogue during the apocalypse, wouldn't it. And I actually kinda do think that's close to what happened - though not that it was secret military drugs or nano machines or whatever.

I think it's something bigger - something we all knew and loved, in the old world. Something… ever present, that was part of all our lives. Something utterly beyond IFAR's comprehension.

I mean, think about it. This thing is huge, in like, cosmic, evolutionary, technological revolution sense, huge! This thing is like the dawn of information technology but times a hundred, with, I don't know, genetic engineering and all of weight loss and bodybuilding industry thrown in the mix. This is the "next step in human development" level of stuff!

And weight loss and bodybuilding industries of old wish they had what we have now. We can literally level up now, and with each level we get stronger. And that's just on the base level. We can change our species now! I've seen people transform themselves completely with the System. One chick, she's a dragon now, just through the System. This guy I know, super into calisthenics, yeah, he can bench press cars now, through the System. I've seen people with wings, tails, horns, with multiple arms - and there's rumours about this one old lady, she can just transform herself into other things. And all we need to do to make all that possible… is level up and get some exp.

… which, okay, it isn't that easy to get exp, you really gotta work for it, and sometimes it's so damn hard to get ahead you just wanna cry, but still. 

Why would they ever give this thing to us? 

Here's the thing. I don't think they did.

Just think about it - why would they give this thing to us? It makes us stronger, it powers us up - it gives us magic. And okay, yes, it also, consequently, spreads magic around, which helps them, making things more magical and more chaotic and dangerous - but seriously! Why would they want to empower us? They're here to subjugate us! How does giving us all this power and opportunity benefit them in any way? 

It doesn't, it just doesn't - just look at the Dragon Battle of Paris. You can bet your probably by now feathery butt that those guys who ate it in the Boulogne-Billancourt wish we didn't have the System.

So here's what I think happened. I think it was a complete freak accident. 

When the Veil was breached and the Aurora Magicalis happened, those particles changed everything they came in contact with, right? We got magical people and creatures and trees and houses and lakes and, I don't know, magical damn water towers now. And those were like intrinsically linked changes too - the thing with the metro proves it! One thing changes by magic and everything that's a copy or similar enough of the original changes too.

And that's why we have giant centipede trains all over the world now.

Which is still terrifying.

So, what happened to the internet when magic particles hit it? What happened to all that knowledge just interlinked all throughout the world? People think it vanished with everything else electronic - but we know you can't vanish things by magic. You can only move things… or change them.

I think the internet got whammied, guys, the same as the rest of us - and like everything else that got whammied, it gained a life of its own. But the internet isn't like a train or, I don't know, a taxi cab that's suddenly alive, it doesn't really have a specific territory where it exists. It's everywhere in the world and it's got no one specific spot where it starts from and we just accessed it with our phones and computers and whatever. 

(Yes I know the internet has physical forms on servers and data centers or whatever, shut up, I'm thinking magically here.)

So, the internet gets magically whammied. Where does it go? It goes where it's always gone - to us. It was made by humans, for humans, for sharing of human discovered and developed and intended information. So it just… attached itself to us. And it's still doing the same thing it's always done - sharing information.

And why is it running out of lives like a videogame now? Well, have you ever wondered how much of the internet bandwidth in total was taken by online videogames? Okay, it probably wasn't that much - but it was still kinda significant amount! Or who knows, maybe the first bit of the internet that got whammied was someone's Steam account, who knows.

Either way, I blame the evils of online videogames, as many concerned aunties have before me. Heh.

Or maybe I'm talking out of my ass and it's all a plot by the Elves to Stockholm Syndrome all of humanity - but isn't it a bit weird, how none of them have this thing? Isn't it a bit of a hell of an inconvenience to them, that we do? Did no one else notice in the early days how shocked they all were to see some of us flinging magic right back at them?

And isn't it a little bit more comforting to think that this Awesome thing that now unites us all wasn't made by our enemies - but that we ourselves made it?

Because, guys, I definitely don't think they were expecting it. When I ran into goblins the first time, they totally thought they could just roll right over us. Orcs too. And the Elves, man… I'm definitely not the only one with a bad first impression. I don't know what they were expecting me to go, bend over, lick their boots, beg for my life, maybe. They were definitely not expecting a fireball to the face, lemme tell you.

Between you and me, I don't think they would've given me, or anyone, that skill if they had a choice in the matter. 

Also it just makes sense though, right? I mean, it's not like Elves even know what videogames are. They don't have computers, they never developed, like… Dungeons and Dragons or anything like that. I bet some human had to explain to them what levels and upgrades even are - because that's, that's really weird and really niche human knowledge, in the grand scheme of things, right? It hasn't been a thing for more than maybe a hundred years.

I don't actually know how long the concept of a "Character levelling up and getting more powerful" has been a thing - feel free to let me know because I am kind of obsessed with this and I suddenly need to know.

Anyway, The System. It's definitely been to the benefit of all of us using it in this bullshit apocalypse, right? And the IFAR… Yeah, I don't think it's been to their advantage at all.

Also, like, come the feck on. When you really think about it, the info the System gives us… isn't it kind of familiar? Boil it all down and what we have are chats and forums and wikis at our fingertips! What kind of invading force gives the people they're invading a communication tool like this? Like, sure, it took a while to get here and it takes effort to use it, it has a cost - but so did the internet.

This is nothing new to us, human peoples of the Earth. Such as it is, right now… invaded and transformed and on the brink of being conquered by damn fantasy Elves… 

So, that's my pitch. The System is the sentiment and magical new form of the World Wide Web, with an online RPG twist.

What have you been doing with it?

336 credits, 759 replies, 163 awards.

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Tadaah, the thing. Relating vaguely to this Isekai based DND campaign idea I had, which was originally an original story which I wanted to write, which I think is this?

Also IFAR is short for "Invaders from another reality", lol.

Anyway. The thought won't leave me alone but I have no idea what to do with this. Maybe I could do prompts based on this? Idk. Some sort of RP thing??

[shinsources]

more random dialogue prompts ,

“why do you have that look on your face?”

“finish what you’re doing, we have to talk.”

“what have you done to yourself?”

“did you do something different with your hair?”

“it doesn’t do any good to get worked up.”

“when was the last time we had a real conversation.”

“are you in the witness protection program, or what?”

“there’s something wrong with me.”

“no, i don’t hate you.”

“hey stupid.”

“we’re aren’t them.”

“looks like i’ll live long enough to make you pay.”

“you know you’re wrong.”

“i don’t understand, why are you doing this?”

“now, before i say anything, promise me you’ll stay calm.”

“what makes me so special?”

“you have no idea what i’ve been through.”

“you really don’t have to do that, not for me.”

“did you really think you’d get a second chance?”

“how about we don’t do that.”

“i have a lot going for me, but humility is not one of them.”

“you’re the worst.”

“i don’t need you right now.”

“don’t just stand there, looking at me.”

“i thought you were supposed to call me.”

“take my hand.”

“i need you.”

“you’re allowed to need help sometimes.”

“for someone who doesn’t like to feel things, you sure feel a lot of it out loud.”

“when this is all over, i want it to be you and me.”

“why won’t you tell me what happened?”

“you don’t know what this means to me.

“i know it doesn’t make sense.”

“i’m trying really hard to keep it together.”

“i know you’re new, but we do things a little differently here.”

“your voice is putting me to sleep.”

“did you find what you were looking for?”

"you knew and you didn’t even warn me?”

“well, i guess that’s broken.”

“i thought it was part of the act.”

“you think u don’t know you’re only here because they sent you?”

“you promised to call me if you didn’t know what to wear.”

“you can keep a secret, can’t you?”

“how could you do this to me?”

“put the gun down, dearest. i have news!”

“i know you don’t have any reason to trust me, but you need to know something.”

“if you’re here to tell me what happened last night, someone beat you to it.”

“people think i’m weird.”

“i think i’m losing myself again.”

“you can’t be here.”

“i wish you’d come to the funeral.”

“do you know what today is?”

“so, you broke my favourite mug… and you’re breaking up with me?”

“i need to get out.”

“it’s like i’m cursed or something.”

“you are remarkably well-behaved tonight, what have you been up to?”

“you gonna eat that?”

“sir, the pony rides are for children only.”

“i don’t want you to worry about that anymore.”

“we’ll never make it in time.”

“you’d be late for your own funeral.”

“you should have seen it coming.”

“oh, good, you’re here! hold this.”

“why can’t you just be happy for me?”

“on a scale of one to ten, how do you feel about nachos right now?”

“is this how you flirt with everyone?”

“how much longer till we’re there?”

“what have you done?”

“it’s time for you to repay that debt you owe me.”

“where did you get that? who gave it to you?”

“what kind of mother has thoughts like that?”

“i know I haven’t been what you needed, but i’m here, and i wanna help.”

“i never want to hear you say that again.”

“you’re all i have.”

“i know it’s not perfect, but i did follow the recipe this time.”

“i was doing so well until you showed up.”

“don’t eat that! i made it ‘specially for our guest.”

“it’s not that i don’t like my life, it’s that i don’t have the energy to enjoy it.”

“how can you stand this place?”

“don’t take this the wrong way, but you don’t exactly blend in.”

“you need to stop.”

“i don’t like that look, what happened?”

“is that seriously your password?”

“what’s your problem?”

“you had no right to use it without asking.”

“oh, wow, you weren’t kidding.”

“i couldn’t trust my own parents to protect me.”

“i’m surprised you haven’t been arrested yet. wait, no, i’m not.”

“why do you want to help me?”

“ten bucks for that piece of crap?”

“we have to hurry, they’re coming!”

“hey, look what came in the mail!”

“do you want to get a drink or something?”

“please tell me you didn’t eat that.”

“the worst part is you didn’t even notice.”

“if i wanted help, i would have asked.”

“wanna tell me what’s going on with your grades?”

“you need to leave.”

“talk to me, okay? i need to know what’s going on.”

“i do blame you.”

“sometimes life deals you a bad hand, but you can still play your cards right and win.”

“you’re no longer useful to me.”

“i’m not good with sarcasm: if you don’t like me, just say it.”