#i think travis has definitely given a message to people in his life to make her feel as welcome as possible

[evermoredeluxe]

Taylor with Ross Travis - Travis’ close friend

[loquaciousquark]

Talks Machina Highlights - Critical Role C2E116-119 (Dec. 15, 2020)

Hi! I missed the first three minutes or so and opened the stream to Brian giving an absolutely incoherent ...ad? for some jewel game? Six thousand jewels just for logging in? Some app in the app store and he’s literally been talking about this now for six minutes and I don’t know what he’s talking about. He finally wraps up, Laura brings the show to a close, and we’re all a little worse than we were before.

Ashley tries to get us back on track and Henry bays over her. Brian tries to ask the first question and breaks off into feigned sobs halfway through. This is chaos incarnate.

Tonight’s guests: Laura Bailey & Ashley Johnson.

How’s Yasha feeling right now about Molly? She and Jester both are desperately curious about whether there’s a spark of Molly left in Lucien that can be brought back. It’s not the same as when Yasha was controlled by Obann; this seems more like just the way this is now. They’d settle for even finding the good in him, like they did with Essek. Brian jokes that they can monitor his mental state if Matt’s Irish accent starts to slip a little bit.

Jester is a little wary about scrying on Lucien now since he’s able to see her back.  She’s interested to try again now that Fjord’s given her the necklace.

Ashley has to run and grab a replacement set of headphones from Brian after hers get “crunchy.” It’s pretty cute seeing them run around and smooch on another screen. Brian teases that he doesn’t have any more questions for Jester since Caduceus has been doing all the healing lately. Laura tells us indignantly that she had Heal prepared for Caduceus in that last big fight, but Fjord got to Cad first. Brian explains how this is the same as all the good jokes he always lines up for Talks but never tells. Ashley’s crunchiness continues and we go briefly to a technical difficulties screen while Brian hops up to fix it.

Dani pips in to get this show back on track. Save us, Dani!

Ashley hadn’t thought about the aspect of Lucien controlling his friends’ minds, but finds it really creepy. It’s a cool game dynamic, and it’s a little different because they’re there willingly, but it’s really weird.

Jester thinks that “the tarot cards know all. She wants to buy into it real hard.” If it doesn’t make sense now, it will later. Laura has an Idiot’s Guide to Tarot Reading.

They’re super interested in why Aeor is like it is. Were they more advanced than us? Did they evolve along a different line? Ashley loves sci-fi and is all about this, especially since she wasn’t there for Happy Fun Ball time & hasn’t been able to get caught up on some of the things she missed in between, so she’s using this as an erstwhile replacement. She can already tell there are some things from this campaign that will bother her the way the unopened box did from C1. She and Laura both seethe at the camera about having to leave the spider behind.

Cosplay of the Week! Harland3r on instagram with a gorgeous winged Pike with a shield & mace. It’s an incredible photo and the wings look great.

Travis distracts Laura by dancing like a Trex offscreen. That seems right for this episode.

Jester’s encouragement of Yasha pursuing Beau was important in a lot of ways, not least because Ashley considered herself as uninterested in D&D romance as Travis & was a little unsure of activating a romance among her friends. However, it felt really natural within the game and it was really helpful to have Jester’s in-game encouragement. Yasha’s grown a lot and is in a much more positive place and is ready to find out what’s possible. Laura: “Jester from the get-go has seen Yasha as this wonderful soul from the beginning, and has seen how sad Yasha’s been through everything, and to see the difference that she exhibits when talking about Beau is drastic and wonderful. Jester’s joy in life is helping others find joy.”

Ashley points out it’s also so fun to “yes-and” with Laura because you’re like a little kid being dragged along by the hand - you don’t know where it’s going, but you know it’s going to be fun along the way.

Ashley does have a sense of “thank goodness Marisha isn’t jumping right into this” so she can coax herself into it, but when she tried to figure out the poem she had a lot of drafts that didn’t survive. She intentionally crafted the letter to give Beau an out if she didn’t feel the same way. There’s a lot going on with Lucien right now and there’s constantly a running thought in the back of her head about “maybe Beau is not into this.” Even the last couple episodes with Jester & Fjord have had Ashley finally understand shipping.

Brian brings us to the moment “almost as romantic as the pre-season finale of the Bachelorette.” Jester was “goo” afterwards. Early on in the campaign, Jester was very forward with her flirtations with Fjord & he shut her down. And then he kissed her underwater and immediately went and slept with Avantika, and Jester automatically shut herself down, because she thought she was misunderstanding & would only be hurt by those emotions. She deliberately focused on just being there with her friends, making everyone healthy and happy. These last few episodes where Fjord was flirting back felt like “my teenage heart again, my first kiss, the boy I like actually likes me back!” and she was able to open back up.

Yasha definitely has some instrument plans for those bones. She doesn’t know if she’s going to add to her harp or create a new one.

Ashley and Laura cheer about Travis stepping out his comfort zone. Laura thinks it was really good that he was doing it with her, his real-life wife, to see if he likes that sort of stuff in his D&D campaign. “It was just so sweet. It was just so sweet.” Brian says he’s actually a really romantic dude & Dani is so glad he asked before the kiss. Brian: “It’s going to be so sad when he breaks your heart and goes back to the corpse of Avantika.” Laura: “It’s fine, Jester will be long dead by then anyway.”

Jester does believe the four-year time trade was worth it, but that the city leaves “a mark on your brain,” especially as in-depth as she saw it. “Jester’s always been reticent to talk about her age because she’s aware she’s perceived in a juvenile way by a lot of people, and she’s insecure about that. She grew up by herself without a lot of social interactions and is experienced in a lot of ways now and naive in others; she’s very aware of human emotion around her, but chooses to see it in a certain way.” Losing the time makes her wonder if she needs to grow up & become an adult about certain things now. Laura: “I think actually she’s closer to Fjord’s age now. Actually, I’m not sure about his age. I don’t know how old he is - I’ve never even asked Travis!” Brian: “I think he’s definitely fifteen.” Laura: “Travis, how old is Fjord?” Travis, off-screen: “Sixty-five,” but he’s had the Mask of Many Faces up this whole time. Later, he adds that he’s in his early 30s.

Ashley has really enjoyed digging into Yasha’s more humorous side lately. It’s how she gets comfortable as a player, making it fun and light in a way that this year needs. “It’s also really funny to think that Yasha doesn’t know how Message works.”

Brian congratulates Laura & Ashley both on their game awards nominations. Brian vamps trying to get himself in as the presenter, but incidentally refers to Laura as his sister in the conversation and it’s super cute. “I would like to be the one to give the award to either my fiancee, or my sister!”

Fanart of the Week: @ethanmaldridge with an illustrated page from the Katzenprinz book. It’s just beautiful.

Jester’s polymorph gambit was terrifying, but the stakes got even higher when everyone else got stunned. She does lament choosing a bunny at the start. “Frickin’ Fjord’s armor!”

Yasha loves being polymorphed lately. She thinks it’s kinda funny, especially given her rigid upbringing with such defined roles.

Laura feels like Jester and Vex are weirdly two halves of herself. Brian: “You see the very bargainy, I’m gonna use my wit & smarts to negotiate situations. But at the same time, you’re very open to what people are thinking & feeling and navigating that. What you end up putting out (though it comes across as innocent and naive) is something pure because she truly believes it.” Laura thinks Yasha and Pike are the same way for Ashley, though Ashley feels a little closer to Yasha right now. Sometimes you just feel really exposed. Laura compares how much idealism she put into Jester to her character from Fruits Basket.

Since Yasha didn’t belong to either side in the war, she’s not hugely concerned by the fallout; she more wants to make sure her found family are okay and safe. Jester is the same way, Laura tells us. Jester doesn’t have any greater vision of the Empire & Dynasty interacting; she cares about the people, and it hasn’t been until the vision with the city that she kind of woke up and realized they have to really stop this now. It feels bigger than the Dynasty/Empire. Ashley: “It seems more of a thing for Beau and Caleb to care about.”

Really, up to now Jester was mostly concerned about getting Molly back, but now the stakes seem much higher. “We have to do this. We have to complete this, to beat them, to keep them from doing this.” Yasha is just going with the flow for now. There’s a lot coming at them and they are ready to find out what’s next.

And that’s that for tonight! Brian thanks the crew especially for working incredibly hard on switching everything to home-based streaming. He then gets stuck halfway spinning around in his chair and the last thing we hear is him idly wondering “What’s Fjord taste like?” which seems pretty on brand for tonight’s show. Is it Thursday yet?

[cameoamalthea]

I think it's interesting how many people were wanting Jester to leave Artagan and go with the Moonweaver (who is awesome btw). I can't properly convey how relieved I am that didn't happen and that their already strong bond was made stronger and they both grew from it. Because that is how good relationships work and people are capable of changing for the better. Finding new faith worked for Fjord, but I don't believe it would have worked for Jester the same way. What they have can't be replaced.

If Artagan was forcibly taken from Jester it would have been traumatizing for Jester. 

What the Mighty Nein, and perhaps a portion of the fandom, don’t understand is that Jester is a depressed lonely person who hides it. She puts on a mask of always happy and fine, it’s ok. She’s not ok and they don’t see it. Jester is also afraid of being alone, which plays into her fear of being disliked and abandoned. 

Whether or not anyone else likes Artagan, Jester LOVES him and she has some serious attachment issues so just ripping him away from her would be super harmful.

There’s a scene in C2E19 where the party sees a shack and wants to investigate it. Jester suggests turning Frumpkin into a bird to go check it out since it’s like a mile away. Caleb does not like the idea, but then playfully says for you Fjord I will do it. Jester responds by being dramatic and pouting about him shooting her down but being willing to do it for Fjord. 

LAURA: Can Frumpkin be a bird? 

LIAM: (reluctantly) Yeah. 

TALIESIN: For a bit. 

TRAVIS: I want to check out the shack. 

LIAM: All right. For you, Fjord, I will make Frumpkin a bird. 

LAURA: Not for me, though. Caleb hates me.

SAM: We could just walk over there. It's a hassle to turn him into a bird. 

TRAVIS: Yeah. Keep your cat. 

LIAM: You are more sensitive than I would have imagined. 

LAURA: I want people to like me.

Caleb is extremely observant and although this is a light, playful scene, says something that cuts really close. “You are more sensitive than I would have imagined.” She’s being over the top and dramatic, he criticizes her, and since what she was joking about what is actually some real insecurity she kind of deflates, her voice gets real small and she says “I want people to like me.” 

It’s a blink and you’ll miss it moment made harder to catch by the fact everyone is talking at once and Laura is eating pizza (role-playing with your mouth full - this is not to shame her for eating, she is entitled to that pizza, but it might make it harder to pick up on the moment). However, I think this touches upon something important. 

Jester is in fact extremely insecure about being liked, and you see this with her relationship with the Traveler. Worrying that he might not like her now that she has other friends at first, and constantly needing reassurance that she’s the most important. 

There’s a brilliant thread on reddit that sums up Jester’s character as follows:

“She's a people-pleaser because she's afraid to lose people. She grew up with the only 'low resource' being people - caring, loving, laughing people. She had her mother, who definitely loves her, but that was it. Most children have scores of people, and other children! to play with. Jester didn't.

And she's afraid to lose that, at any cost. Even realizing she was manipulated, keeping Artagen is more important than standing up for herself or showing her disappointment, because she can't lose him.

Onto - Artagen. What we know:

He's openly admitted to being manipulative and selfish

More importantly: he's openly admitted to never wanting to be bored and never wanting to 'get into emotions'

This REALLY matters. Why?

Because Jester is afraid of losing everyone so she can't be what those people don't want.

Jester can't be upset in front of Artagen because he might get bored with all of her emotions and leave.

It's crazy important for her to be his favorite because, as she is helping him leave all of his followers (her biggest fear) he keeps saying he won't leave her.”

Jester has pretty serious abandonment issues. Children need the attention and support of a caregiver. RedditTotalWar made a great point on that reddit thread: “A significant withdrawal of attention is often enough to cause a child to develop abandonment issues. Children don't have the capacity to realize that some things aren't about them since they are the centers of their own universe.” So the fact Jester’s mother, who clearly loves her and is a good person, did not always have time for her and required Jester to keep her existence secret is damaging. 

Note, this is not to suggest that Marrion is a bad person or was intentionally abusive. You don’t have to be a monster to hurt a child. Disney example: In Tangled, Mother Gothel isolated Rapunzel and was an abuser who just wanted to use her. In Frozen, Anna’s Mother and Father isolated Anna out of a desire to do what they thought was best for their other daughter Elsa and to protect Anna from what they saw as the threat posed by Elsa’s magic. Anna’s parents were not intentionally abusive and loved their children, but Anna was still neglected and isolated and harmed by their actions.

To Jester, the message she got growing up was ‘Momma loves me, but she’s busy and I can’t get in the way and no one can know I exist’ which could easily be taken as ‘Momma loves me, but I’m not the most important thing to her’ or even ‘Momma loves me, but my existence makes her life harder, so maybe I’m not completely lovable since I’m a problem’. 

And while you may think, if she was that worried why would she act out and play pranks and cause trouble, the fact is that children who are insecure about being loved may self-sabotage with caregivers. You see a high rate of disruption in foster children right before adoption because the child starts exhibiting behaviors. Perhaps faced with the fear of, maybe my parental won’t love me if I cause trouble, it feels safer just deliberately causing trouble because then at least you’re the one in control rather than walking on eggshells terrified that messing up could mean abandonment. 

The fact that Jester’s prank on Lord Sharp resulted in her having to leave the only home she’s ever known and never come back under threat of death and that her Mother could not (or in her mind, would not?) protect her may have made her abandonment issues a lot worse. 

Jester is terrified of being left alone, of being abandoned. Taking away the one person who has been a constant in her life and who she has felt safe with all at once would not be good. As Laura said on her playlist “he’s always been the one person she could show her insecurities to” and losing that stable, trusted person would hurt. 

 I don’t think her relationship with Artagan is entirely healthy (it’s not healthy for a child to grow up with only one other friend and her attachment to him extreme and also he’s a selfish, manipulative Archfey - I don’t think Artagan thinks this relationship is entirely healthy). However, I do not think it would have been better for her to have him ripped away like that. Especially given the fact that the whole Moonweaver thing was her idea and she would likely blame herself for what happened. 

How devastating would that be for someone with Jester’s level of insecurity? 

The Mighty Nein, and again a portion of the fandom, may have preferred it if Jester broke up with Artagan and moved on or found a new god. Fjord’s relationship with Uk’otoa (Uk’atoa) was toxic and abusive, so the Mighty Nein are very wary of that sort of relationship. Fjord if projecting and thinks that any relationship with a powerful being that isn’t a god is dangerous. 

The truth is Jester’s relationship with Artagan isn’t really like one of cleric and god. It’s more like a personal relationship where he happens to give her divine powers.

LAURA: I take a bite of my caramel apple, and I go walking down.

MATT: You hear a crunch sound and your handshakes for a second and you look down and a mysterious secondary bite was taken out of the apple.

LAURA: (gasp) I lick the spot.

(groaning)

SAM: You're making out with your god? Gross.

MATT: They have a special relationship.

A special relationship indeed, Matt. It’s intimate, she talks to him about her crushes and asks him for advice on boys then casually confesses love to him.

LAURA: You're not jealous, are you?

MATT: "No."

LAURA: You'll always be my number one love.

MATT: "I know.”

Fjord is an orphan who was looking for parental figures. Vandren was a mentor and father figure, and it was through Vandren that Fjord gained his connection to Uk’otoa. The Wild Mother felt Motherly to Fjord and in Talks Travis said that when Matt first described the feeling his thoughts were on like have I found my Mother somehow. To Fjord religion is a divine parent, an authority figure who provides guidance and direction, and in the case of the Wild Mother love and support for him. 

Jester has never seen the Traveler as a ‘dad figure’. He’s just her best friend and based on her behavior towards him and jealousy towards his other followers, and the number of love songs on Laura’s playlist, I’m pretty convinced that Jester is IN LOVE with him. 

(I don’t know if that feeling is required. Given they grew up together with him in the form of another child and the fact Artagan is actually ancient, I think he sees her more like a little sister. This might be why he was so confused when she grabbed his face and leaned in like she was about to kiss him despite the fact that like she’s flat out told him that he’s her number one love and requires constant reassurance that she’s his favorite and acts like a schoolgirl with a very obvious crush)

And again, all of this may not be healthy or ideal for Jester. She might get hurt. However, I think in order to grow the relationship has to run it’s course no matter what happens. Artagan not only acted completely selflessly by kicking her off of him rather than face the possibility that she’d have to choose between him and or friends or be banished with him but like - he apologized to her. 

An actual, real, non-manipulative apology. He admitted he was manipulative and he’s sorry and when she tries to play it off as it’s fine, he says he doesn’t want to defend himself. He’s sorry.

That’s growth.

[ethan-bears]

Home for Christmas (Nolan Patrick x Reader)

You've resigned yourself to spending this Christmas alone. But Nolan has other plans.

Author's note: I started writing this out as a thought to send to @lindylovegang for her soft thought night tonight but I realized it needed to be a small book whole fic instead, so I decided to do this instead of editing my final paper. This is also not edited. I might edit it later. Who knows.

Warnings: light swearing, holidays, slight angst but it gets fluffy real quick, it's my first fic so it's probably not great, I'm on mobile and I can't figure out "keep reading" and I'm very sorry

Word count: absolutely no idea but good luck fam

gif credit to: bretthowden

*****

This was not how you wanted to spend your first Christmas in Philadelphia. Ideally, you wouldn't even be in Philly at all right now. You should be on a plane back home to your family and friends and the warm, familiar streets of your hometown. You should be waking up tomorrow morning in your grandma's house with the smell of warm bread surrounding you like a hug.

But no. You were trapped.

The blizzard had started to roll in earlier this morning, and you thought to yourself that it wouldn't be that bad, right? It was just some flurries. They wouldn't ground any flights, right?

Oh how wrong you wound up being.

After three hours of waiting for news in the airport terminal, followed by another hour and a half desperately trying to reschedule your flight to a time that would still work and getting nothing out of every airline representative in the building, you somehow managed to get an Uber driver crazy enough to come get you in the ocean of snow. Fighting back tears, you tried to console yourself in the backseat. At least your apartment would be warm. And you had a little tree, so it would still feel like Christmas. You'd make some soup and Skype your family, and while it wouldn't be the same as being with them, it would be better than nothing!

"Reckless optimist," you sighed as you flipped the light switch to your apartment only to be met with continued darkness. Alone in a dark, cold, apartment on Christmas Eve, snowed in with nowhere to go in a city that came nowhere close to feeling like home. Merry Christmas. Slumping against the door, you felt your hot tears break free and cascade down your face. You decided to let all the stress and frustration that had been building all day take over your body, sobbing harder than you could ever remember. Each new wave shook your body, sending you to the floor. You didn't care. It couldn't get worse, so why not act like it?

During a pause in the festivities you decided to check your phone to see if you had any messages from your dad, only to find a text you definitely didn't expect from someone who was definitely not your father.

Sir Nolan the Rosy-Faced: hey, just checking in, i know you're probably mid flight rn but just wanted to make sure you land safely when you do. Crazy storm. Text me?

Sniffing, you paused to process the message. Nolan wanted to make sure you were safe? It shouldn't really have surprised you, but the fact that he was concerned enough to text you while he thought you were still midair was...touching.

You fired a short text back explaining that the flight wasn't happening, thinking he'd respond with a simple "okay" or an "oh, sorry to hear that :(". But the next text you got (mere seconds later) surprised you again.

Sir Nolan: oh my god that sucks! Wait.....does that mean you're home alone tonight?

Me: Yeah, and the power's out, so it's suuuper cold, but idk it's fine, I'll just layer up and go to bed early I guess

Sir Nolan: are you okay?

That one hit you like a truck. No, you thought, I'm really, really not.

Me: Yeah, I'll be fine

Sir Nolan: are you sure? Cause I can come over if you want.

Any other night, you would be losing your mind at an offer like that. Ever since you had met Nolan, you'd had the biggest crush on him. All other crushes seemed like weak sauce compared to how you felt about him. But you'd cried all your energy out. The best response your heart could muster was a meek, "Sure, but don't worry if the snow's just too much."

You were met with a resounding, "Already on my way."

You decided that if you were going to be having company you should at least get up off the floor. You shuffled your way into your bedroom, habitually flicking the light switch before you remembered it was pointless. You fumbled in the dark to your desk drawer, trying to find your flashlight, and once you found it you turned it on and started changing into your warmest pajamas. Now that you weren't just a puddle of self-pity, you started to think about Nolan's sudden inviting-over of himself. You first met him during training camp when your work friend brought you along to meet up with Travis, her boyfriend. She figured that since you were new to the city and also a huge hockey fan that it couldn't hurt to introduce you to some guys on the team and help you make some friends. You weren't sure what to make of Nolan at first. He seemed so quiet and awkward that you thought your own quietness and awkwardness would make conversation impossible with such a knockout of a man. You wound up being horribly wrong, once again, but that time it was in a good way. Neither of you were really the super-outgoing party type, so whenever one or both of you started getting exhausted with the atmosphere you'd usually drift off into your own conversation in a quieter part of the room. As a result, he became a good friend incredibly fast. It seemed there was nothing you couldn't talk about with him, even though you still got nervous about certain things. Like your personal feelings for him. But that had never come up before, so you were safe. For now.

You knew he knew all about how hard the transition to Philly has been for you. How homesick you get, how you can't help but wonder if you made a mistake taking the job offer that brought you here (even though it was your dream job), and how you felt like it was hard to click with so many new people. Which was probably why he seemed so worried about you being alone tonight. He knew you felt alone most of the time anyway.

An hour and a half had gone by and you were starting to get worried about him. He only lived 20 minutes away, and even with the snow, it shouldn't take him that long unless he was stuck and just too proud to call you. It had given you time to call your mom, which you were grateful for and made you feel a lot better, but you couldn't ignore the knot in your stomach anymore. You were just about to hit "call" when you heard a knock at the door. Or more like a thump at the door.

You practically sprinted over to open it for the man-sized popsicle with his arms full of grocery bags standing on your doorstep. You paused for a second with your mouth hanging open, both amazed by the fact that he actually came over and by...him. The cold made his already pink cheeks bright red, and the snowflakes were sticking to his long eyelashes and the free locks of hair that didn't fit under his beanie. You had never seen anything more beautiful in your life.

"Can...can I come in?" Nolan's teeth chattered, snapping you back to reality.

"Oh, yeah, sorry! God, Nol, you're shivering!" you remark, ushering him through the door. Not that inside was that much warmer, but anything was better than being out there.

"It's cold," he laughs.

"Wow, AND he's meteorologist!" you quip back. "What can Nolan Patrick not do?"

Shaking his head, he made a beeline for your kitchen, looking for a place to set his bags down.

"Took me forever to find a place that was still open tonight," he muttered, pulling what looked in the dark like to-go boxes out of one of the bags. You shined your flashlight up to the ceiling to make it light the whole room as Nolan continued to pull items from his three bags. You just stood there, still dumbfounded by him.

"Pat... what's all this?" you manage to squeak out.

"This," he said, pointing to the to-go tubs, "is soup. I'm not completely sure what kind, but I figured soup would be the best thing no matter what. I didn't know if you had any crackers, so I brought some saltines. And some oranges because I knew you'd want something fruity and healthy and oranges are festive. And this," he pulled a thermos out of the second bag, "is hot chocolate. Made it myself." He grinned, sliding it towards you, obviously proud of himself. You could barely contain your own grin, feeling yourself blush. You were proud of him too.

"I saved the best for last," he continued once you took a sip of the cocoa. You frowned.

"What else could you possibly have brought?" you asked, genuinely astonished.

He looked you in the eyes and gave you a smirk. Holy hell. You were glad he probably couldn't see how pink your own cheeks were getting. The things he did to you and he didn't even know.

He carefully pulled a basket out of the last bag, and you could see it was full of a bunch of other things. You couldn't believe it.

"Nolan..." You trailed off, feeling the tears starting to well up again. Inside the basket were a bunch of little gifts with a note that read "For: y/n, From: Us". It had some of your favorite candies, one of those cheesy home-state-scented candles, a scarf with your home team's name and logo on it, and a tin of your favorite tea from a tiny local tea shop in your home town. You tried your best to fight the tears, but you weren't strong enough, rendered useless from your earlier fit.

"Nol-" You couldn't even finish your question before your own sob choked you. You set your thermos and flashlight down to bury your face in your hands.

"Hey, hey," Nolan whispered, pulling you into a hug. You wasted no time in hugging him back, squeezing him as you sobbed into his chest. "Shhhh, it's okay," he muttered to the top of your head. He slowly ran a hand up and down your back, rocking you back and forth. It only made you more emotional. He had never hugged you before, and you hadn't been hugged like this in what felt like years. You just wanted to stay there in his arms forever and ignore the world around you.

"It was a team effort," he continued. "Some of us thought you could use some things that remind you of home."

"Who...who found the tea?" you said into his chest, muffled by his sweater.

"What?" He smiled, pulling out of the hug a bit to let you speak up.

You wiped your face and took a breath. "Who found the tea?"

He pulled the rest of the way out of the hug, much to your disappointment. He leaned his head down, staring at the floor.

"That was me," he mumbled, tucking a loose strand of hair behind his ear. "I remembered you mentioning it, and it was hard to work out, but they agreed to send me some." Somehow, his voice kept getting lower and lower.

You could hardly believe your ears. He remembered that? You swore you had only mentioned it once in passing after you got a really disappointing chai from a coffee place down the street. You had no idea he had been paying attention. And he went to all the trouble of getting a store with a locals-only business model to ship a product long-distance. You started to wonder if.... No, you thought, don't get your hopes up again tonight.

You stared at him for another moment, trying to soak in the situation. He seemed surprised when you went back in for another hug.

"Thank you so much!" you whisper, knowing that if you said it any louder you'd start crying again. You could feel him relax into the hug and gave him a little squeeze before you ended it.

"Soup time?"

"Soup time." Nolan nodded, practically beaming.

You sat on the couch, eating as carefully as you could in the dark, though your eyes were getting pretty adjusted. From then on, it was conversation as usual. It came so naturally with him that even when you weren't saying anything, you were still happy. You exchanged stories about your favorite Christmases, what you thought the best cookies are, and weird things your families do during the holidays for hours, barely even noticing the time or the cold.  At some point Nolan had pulled the blankets off the back of the couch and tossed them over both your laps. You didn't notice that you'd been getting closer and closer to him with every story until you laughed so hard you fell on his shoulder.

"Stop laughing!" He pouted, audibly trying to stifle his own laugh. "I almost got hypothermia. I could've died!"

"I can't...I can't!" you breathe between laughs. "You fell through the ice...but just one leg?!"

"Yeah, and I was stuck there on my side almost doing the splits between the ice and the water and my sister just stood there laughing. Just like you!" He nudged you, pretending to be annoyed. "But eventually she pulled me out and carried me back home. Couldn't move my leg for hours, it was just sticking straight out like..." He stuck his leg in the air, demonstrating, and only making you laugh harder. You could hardly breathe. You knew it probably felt funnier because of how exhausted you were, but you didn't care. Nolan had put a smile back on your face and back in your heart.

"Hey, Nolan?"

"Yeah?"

You swallowed. "I just... I'm not complaining that you're here, obviously, but... weren't you planning on spending tonight with Kevin and his family?"

"I was, but they've got each other, and someone else who's super special to me was sad and alone, which made me really sad to think about. You deserve to be happy and I wanted to help. Easiest decision I've ever made."

You really did not have it in you for another cry, so you settled for teasing him instead.

"That's really cheesy of you, softie."

"Take it while you can," he laughed.

"I know," you smiled.

Your eyes were starting to feel heavy and you let out a jaw-cracking yawn.

"Damn," Nolan remarked. You grunted in response, earning another laugh from him. "Wanna lay down?"

You nodded, leaning into his shoulder.

"You're warm," you sleepily drawl. You wanted to lay down, but you didn't want to get up to go to your bed. You wanted more snuggles, and right now you didn't care if he read into it or not.

He seemed to get the message, moving to lay down and taking you with him. He wrapped his arms around you after making sure the blankets covered you both as much as possible. You smiled contentedly, settling into your position and closing your eyes. You barely had time to contemplate how touchy he was being tonight compared to his normal reservations about hugs and touching before you were completely gone.

*****

Nolan woke up first the next morning. He was careful to move as little as possible to avoid waking you up. You looked so peaceful, curled up with your head on his chest. He felt his heart swell as you shifted to wrap your arms around his torso and fell back asleep within seconds. He smiled down at you, noticing how beautiful you were, even with your messy bedhead and your cheek squished against his chest. He wanted to stay in this moment forever. Just the two of you.

The power had come back on at some point during the night, so it was no longer freezing in the apartment, and the lights on your tiny tree had come on as well. He glanced back over to the kitchen to the basket on the counter. It had been embarrassing enough to admit to being the one who hunted down the tea like a police dog, so he left out the part about the whole gift basket being his idea in the first place. He would've bought you everything himself, but he wanted you to know that you had other friends, too, and that they wanted to show you that they were thinking of you. The scarf was Carter's idea, the candy TK's. Claude had suggested the candle, and being the local expert on how to be good to the woman he loved, Nolan took the advice and bought the candle as well. It did make him strangely jealous of your hometown in a way he couldn't quite explain. He was worried that you would be looking for any excuse to move back home, which he really didn't want. If it made you happy, then of course he'd support you, but he'd never felt for anyone the way he felt about you. The way you laugh, how passionate you get when you talk about something you care about, whether that's a person, a subject, a place, or what the best pizza topping is. He loved everything down to the way you word your sentences. He loved how much you loved.

He was awoken from his thoughts by you stirring and opening your eyes to look at him.

"Merry Christmas," you mumbled.

"Merry Christmas," he mumbled back.

You laid your head back down, enjoying the comforting rise and fall of his chest.

"You hungry? I can try and make you some breakfast. Emphasis on try," Nolan offered.

You laughed at the thought. "That'd be nice. But I don't wanna get up."

"Me neither," he sighed, tracing his thumb along your arm. He was not ready for when you suddenly shot off the couch, eyes manic and wide.

"Oh my god!" you shouted. "I didn't get you anything for Christmas! And you did all that last night!" You waved your hand at the kitchen. Nolan sat up, confused and cold, missing the weight of you on him.

"It's okay, y/n! I wasn't expecting anything."

"No, okay, I'm making you breakfast, and it's gonna be the best damn breakfast I've ever made. Lay back down," you insisted, marching off to the kitchen, wincing at the still-cold floor.

As nice as it sounded to stay under the warm blankets, Nolan didn't want to just sit there doing nothing. Suddenly he had an idea, even though it was a risky one. He decided it was a risk he needed to take eventually.

"Get out!" you playfully threatened, brandishing a spatula at him as he stepped into the kitchen. He put his hands up in mock surrender.

"I won't touch!"

"Good," you smirk, turning back to your pan.

Nolan shuffled around nervously, working up the courage to say what he wanted to. He swallowed and took a deep breath.

"I, uh...I have an idea for what you can give me. If you, uh, still want to give me something. Besides breakfast, I mean." Smooth, Patrick, he thought.

"What's that?" You met his gaze, making his stomach flip. The things you do to him and you have no idea.

"Maybe we can go out sometime? Like, just us. On purpose. To dinner or something?"

You looked like a deer caught in the headlights, making Nolan immediately second-guess himself. He bashfully broke your eye contact, focusing on the floor again. He felt the blush on his cheeks worsening.

"Are you... serious?" you ask, voice full of wonder.

"Of course I am!" he mumbled insistently. "Wouldn't ask if I wasn't."

You almost knocked him over with the force of your hug, a truly impressive feat.

"Yes, yes, a thousand times, yes!!!" you laughed, not even bothering to play it cool. Nolan smiled so much it started to hurt, but he didn't care. He felt like he could take off and fly, he was so relieved. The weight of the world was replaced by the weight of you clinging to his shoulders. And he couldn't imagine a better way to spend his Christmas. Maybe, just maybe, he thought, Christmas would be like this forever from now on.

*****

You relaxed into Nolan's arms as he followed you back to the stove, hugging you from behind and resting his chin on your shoulder. Suddenly, you felt something more than the giddy high of getting asked out by your crush. You felt a sort of peace you hadn't felt since before you moved.

You were home for Christmas.

[roswelldetails]

RNM 2x06 - Sex and Candy

EPISODE SUMMARY:

Maria’s (Heather Hemmens) investigation into her mother’s disappearance leads her and Alex (Tyler Blackburn) to the home of a mysterious boot maker named Travis (guest star David Anders). Meanwhile, on her journey of self-discovery, Isobel’s (Lily Cowles) night out leads her into the arms of someone unexpected. Finally, after making some major scientific strides, Liz (Jeanine Mason) is dealt a devastating blow. Geoff Shotz directed the episode written by Rick Montano & Vincent Ingrao (#206). Original airdate 4/20/2020.

DETAILS:

Max and Isobel's fight:

Lights start flickering when Max starts getting aggressive and then get brighter as he gets more worked up.

The first attempt to expel it seemed like he was causing an earthquake.  He blew out all the windows in the gym, knocked Isobel down, and there was shaking.  But it didn't seem to go beyond that room - no damage is seen when Michael arrives or around town.

Note, after the earthquake thingie the lights go out 

His hands are doing the electric power thingie and THEN he also grabs the lightning.

I think Isobel used her telekinesis to stop it and then push it away, which seemed to work...but if so then why couldn't Noah do that last season? 

Was it the sheer volume of electricity? There was definitely MORE than with Noah.

Michael uses his telekinesis to manually reset Max's heart.  This is very smart of him. Note that he's using his own heart/pulse to get it right.

They are using the antidote to Liz's serum to try to heal Max's mind. 

Michael says that they've been giving him antidote injections for three days (time jump).

Three days of antidote and no new memories for Max.

Isobel remembered her blackouts within a few hours of getting injected with the antidote in 1x10.

Note: Liz hesitated using the antidote this way in 1x10 because Isobel could still be dangerous and they didn't know about the 4th Alien yet.  There doesn't seem to be a similar hesitation with Max. Because Liz trusts him more? Because him forgetting her is more personal? It's not like there isn't a chance that Max is still dangerous…

Maria arranged a Mexican market in the Pony parking lot to subsidize her income.

Buffy the Beagle is Forrest's dog!

Maria comments that the meteor shower makes animals act strange. And humans too.

Forrest and Maria are organizing an open night mic at the Wild Pony.  Free drinks for performers.

Maria clearly approves of Forrest and Alex getting to know each other.  She smacks Alex for his awkward flirting.

The bootmaker's farm is about an hour outside of town.

The Science:

Kyle and Steph are watching a "surgical separation of craniopagus twins".

Craniopagus Twins = twins attached at the cranium/head. (Aka not a heart surgery).

"Did you know, ever since 1947, twin births in Roswell are higher than the national average? Maybe it's aliens."

Speaking of awkward flirting…. "You're just my favorite person I can't stand."

The Spanish:

Le cambio una bolsa de chiles para mi papá...for the free fries next time you come to the Crashdown.

Liz is bartering.  She says basically, I'll trade you a bag of chiles for my papa for free fries next time you come to the Crashdown. 

Note, the captions for this are wrong and use the Spanish word for grasshoppers instead, but you can clearly hear Liz say chiles. Thanks to @rosaortecho for pointing that out to me.

Max says:

I'm trying to eat clean. Uh, tiene carne seca sin como se dice, preservativos.

He's trying to say, basically, does the jerky have preservatives. 

Quiere carne a sin preservativos?

Basically, you want meat without condoms?

Lo siento. Uh, no lo entiendo.

I'm sorry, I don't get it.

Él quiere decir conservantes.

He means preservatives.

Gracias. Estoy embarazado.

Thank you. I'm pregnant.

Michael asks Max who he's texting. Max says everyone has been messaging him but Cameron is the only one who hasn't responded, which isn't like her.

Wildly curious who he was texting though.  It's not like he's a social butterfly. His mom? The sheriff? Who? As I pointed out to some friends the other day, he spent his 21st birthday getting trashed with his SISTER. This is not a trait of a guy with lots of close friends.

Just as another note, Michael says he ghosted her. When exactly was that? Yes, Max ran out on her in the middle of a handy in 1x03, but they addressed that the next day.  She "broke up" with him in 1x07, but they were still good right up until she left town. 

Isobel:

"Does he seem different to you?"

Alex and Maria playing "Never have I Ever" in the car. Good way to do background on characters.

Maria has never cheated on a boyfriend

Alex has never been in a real relationship. Not even "Kellie Sommer-something".

Alex says that whenever he was with a woman he was trying to disappear.  Except for Sophomore year after Battle of the Bands. Seven Minutes in Heaven in Haley Moore's hall closet. Alex and Maria kissed and it was Maria's first kiss (and boob graze).  She always thought she'd marry Alex. Had to come up with a new plan after he came out. 

Alex says "I did too."

"Kissing you in that closet was the first time in my life that I enjoyed touching someone."

Max picks up Liz for their first date…

Just as a note, Save Tonight was the opening song in the pilot of OG Roswell. During the "oh, Max Evans is staring at you again." exchange between Liz and Maria.  So, it might go well with new beginnings or something ;-)

The Science:

"Psychogenic amnesia limits retrieval of stored memories, but if we light up your limbic system and gustatory cortex with some familiar signals…"

"Your milkshake might bring all my memories to the yard?"

**Note, second reference to this song in the context of Liz bringing Max milkshakes. First was in 1x06 by Isobel. Hmm. 1x06 and 2x06… maybe they should crack this joke in 3x06 too.

"Sometimes when people wake up from comas they have different personalities, different tastes even…"

Everything you ever wanted to know about psychogenic amnesia:

But, my main takeaway is that it's a specific type of amnesia where there's abnormal memory function but no brain damage or other clear cause of it.

Limbic system:

Basically the part of your brain that stores emotion, behavior, and long term memory.

Gustatory cortex:

Basically the part of your brain that processes taste.

Maria compares Michael to Chad because he starts fights and lies.  Alex disagrees and lists ways that he was doing good things:

He lied to protect his family from Alex's family.

He shouldered the burden of a murder he didn't commit for ten years so that Isobel didn't have to.

He pushed Maria away to protect her - which might be a good thing too because of all his baggage. 

First Date:

Max went to Ranch camp one summer and dislocated his shoulder while trying to read Lord of the Rings on horseback. #nerd. 

Liz references the gala as not their first date, but there was also the desert in high school.  I guess she doesn't count that either. 

Side note: Cam and Liz talked about him peacocking in 2x03, but that kinda felt out of character at the time to the Max we knew.  This Max DOES seem like he's peacocking a bit. Got dressed up, taking Liz horseback riding. He admitted to trying to one up whatever they did together before. Just an interesting (to me) observation.

Liz looks panicky when Max suggests truth serum (because Science!Liz probably could make truth serum), but once she realizes he means whiskey she's like, "oh yes, that's fine." Oh Liz… 

Diego details:

They were engaged just last year

Liz left without saying goodbye

Bioengineer 

They were working together on the Denver study

They would come home and keep talking about work

He had ideas to help improve it

They both spoke The Science

He pushed her to get better at The Science

When the funding was cut she realized she loved the work more than him

Liz couldn't figure out how tell him that so she packed her things in the middle of the night, hit the road, changed her phone, and blocked him on Facebook.

**This is the first time LIZ has mentioned social media. Interesting given the crap Maria keeps giving her about it!

Travis and fresh warm milk. What is up with it??

"Nice ring. Does it keep you from burning up in the daylight?"

David Anders introduces himself as Travis.

Just as a point of interest, Maria researched enough to find the bootmaker, figure out where he lives, but she didn't get his name??? 

Vampire Diaries/Originals reference.

Travis says he can't help with car stuff.

The milk was from a cow named Jennifer.  He milked her for the last time today. (Creepy).

Weird contradictory statements from Travis:

"You're the best thing I've seen in a long time."....

"Mm, I'm sorry. So many customers and all their ugly faces get all sewn up and stitched together in my mind."

"Yeah, that's the woman that bought them boots. While back. Nice lady. She paid cash."

Second reference to animals behaving strangely during a meteor shower:

"Meteor shower's got my girls singing a bit off key tonight.  Jennifer, she likes a good lullaby."

"Okay this guy is going to turn us into skin suits." (OG reference? Or just general sci-fi?)

Meteorchella at Planet 7 (Coachella-style party during meteor shower?) with any excuse to add sparkles!

Kyle says he's at Planet 7 because he's trying not to hang out with people from high school.

Isobel says she's trying to have fun without feeling like prey.

Don't think the details of Kyle/Isobel dancing matters all that much, but as a point of amusement I'll share that in the panel on Tuesday night they shared that Lily whispered something different to Trevino on every take...And they got progressively dirtier to the point that she finally felt like she crossed a line and profusely apologized.  Also the lick was a Lily addition. 

Max's confession about killing the drifter:

Kind of an interesting thing, comparing the first version of the drifter story in 1x06 to the 2x06 version. 1x06 was more dramatic, but 2x06 was more personal, I think. 

1x06

"There are moments that define our lives, and there are moments that divide our lives. Incidents that separate us into two different people: who we were before and who we will be after. Forever…One day we were children and the next we were something else. I was a killer. Michael an accomplice.  And Isobel...Isobel was broken."

2x06

"I killed a man once, on a camping trip. This drifter came out of nowhere, attacked Isobel.  I wasn't even thinking. I killed him. With this. I arrest people who kill people. Most of them usually regret what they did. You know, you can just tell that they're forever broken. It's like a piece of them dies with their victims. So when I could feel that darkness, like I had to kill, I wanted Isobel to let me die. Because I couldn't risk hurting even one innocent person. Cause life just wouldn't be worth living."

Kind of an interesting narrative choice to confess to murder on a first date and then have the girl just brush it aside. 

"No, it just hit me why you're so happy and idealistic, and I feel like an idiot. You are that way because you don't remember me. It's a clean slate.  It's like when you got out of the pods with whatever memories you had erased it's probably for your own good."

"Last I heard you were the love of my life."

"Your cohorts, they left out some details. Cause if you had your memories I'm positive the worst thing that's ever happened to you is connected to me. And I can't bear the weight of making you remember that again."

**Note, second time this has been implied.  Last time was by Michael in 1x08 regarding the alien symbol.

"...it's gotta have some connection to us right? Maybe it was something we saw somewhere before the crash."

"Sorry, are you, Max Evans, acknowledging that we must have had lives before we hatched out of the pods? You never want to talk about home."

"Hey, Roswell is home. Look, I'm sorry man. You're right. I've spent a lot of time not talking about where we come from or why we're here.  Keep thinking I can pretend the past away and just be normal. But if Isobel's blackouts are some alien thing, then I need to know more. Okay, and this symbol? That's all I have to go on. I mean don't you think it's strange that we don't have any memories? I mean, no parents, no language. We weren't infants, man. We were seven."

"I just figured our memory faded. Over 50 years in those pods. Maybe it was just time. Or maybe whoever put us in those pods doesn't want us to remember."

Travis and Trevor's house...with added bonus of his ring that Alex comments on.

Leather ribbons/strips on the wall are for (from?) Hayley and Gertrude. More cows, I presume. 

There's also a framed Purple Heart on the wall next to a photo of Travis?

"War really messes with a man's mind.  Gets it all twisted up.

Timeline issue!! Alex says Mimi was missing for 3 weeks, but according to the clearly established timelines in 201-203 it was 4 weeks (or a month ish).  I wrote about this here:

Maria put her jacket on a scarecrow to trick Travis. And did she leave it there?

(Answer: yes. She doesn't wear it for the rest of the episode. Smart of her, actually).

Michael sees Trevor come out of the house and is about to shoot him. Maria immediate knew it wasn't Travis and threw herself in front of Michael's gun

Trevor shoots Travis.

A bullet from the Crashdown shooting falls out of Max's journal.  Does it look like it has blood on it? Or maybe just ketchup? If it's THE bullet it would make a lot of sense that he kept it hidden - evidence that Liz was shot. See this comparison between one of Wyatt's bullets in 1x02 and the one Max finds in 2x06

"Sorry about my twin here. He's had a rough go."

"Combat does not make you an axe murderer."

"No, it wasn't the combat. It was the R&D. If a paramilitary group ever asks you to take part in a study, you run the other way. He showed up a few weeks ago. Locked me up out back. Lucky y'all showed up when you did. Gave me a chance to escape."

R&D is a military acronym for Research and Development. (Aka...The Science.)

Priscilla - the cow Mimi's boots were made from.

This is literally the only direct information gained about the boots from this little sleuthing excursion. 

Well, and that Mimi paid cash, which isn't like her.

Side note - I didn't really know what Paramilitary meant, so just in case any of you are also not good with military stuff, Paramilitary groups are like private armies. Like, I dunno, the private security firm that Jesse and Cam discussed in episode 2x04. 👀

Male doctor operating on Steph clearly states:

"All right we're approaching an arterial junction."

A female doctor replies and its less clear.  What I hear is...Blood gasses are back? Anyone else hear something that makes more sense than that?

He replied something like...the stint through here

She says something about pH levels.

Max admits that he didn't know what would happen when he decided to bring Rosa back.  He just wanted to fix the worst thing that ever happened to all of them.

"I can't believe we were Shyamalan'd by an evil twin."

I think Alex is referring to the twist ending? Or maybe just the insane axe murderer stuff.

M. Night Shyamalan wrote and directed the Sixth Sense, Signs, Split, etc…

During this scene is the first time we see Michael's tattoo… it's on his arm. I struggled with getting a cap of it, but I know there are gifs going around.

I had every intention of detailing the dialogue in the trailer scene, but before I could get to it, Carina posted the script, so I didn't think it was a good use of my time. Here's the script:

The next morning, Alex calls the Sheriff from outside the trailer for an update.

The Sheriff tells him that Travis and Trevor burned their home and ran...weren't caught by the sheriff.  Which means we may not have seen the last of them.

The Spanish:

"Oh my God. Dios mio, Max. I took off your pants before I even said I love you. I'm some kind of zorra."

Dios mio basically is Oh My God! So Liz really was spiraling. She went, "Oh my God, Oh my God..."

Zorra - female version of Zorro. Basically a vixen, bitch, prostitute… the internet has all sorts of fun words that it translates into. 

"I call this one Visceral Werewolf Part 2, dedicated to my boy Chee Chee, may he rest in peace."

Can we have more Bert? Bert is the best. Also kudos to his goofy friend who is wayyy too excited about this.

Forrest's slam poem:

Locked up for days,

Time slipping away,

On my knees I would pray to break free from this cage.

But bargaining for keys, you forget hidden fees.

And wishing for what you’re missing ain’t the same as living the dream. 

And now I’m fighting to stay on this side of the cage.

Even though I know a part of me wishes I’d stayed. 

Ain’t no prophet or rebel or savior or devil

Could have predicted, fought, cheated or leveled. 

A life with potential that’s squandered, 

A comfortable cell is a question I ponder. 

Am I a free man or a prisoner wanderer?

Max's memory flash:

Young Max, chained to the ground as described in 2x03. 

Max looks scared.

He's dressed all in white like the 1947 aliens after the crash (As shown in 1x12 and 2x03).

He's in a cave or something like a cave. 

Holes in the wall are glowing an orangey red color.

The ceiling is like the alien ship material with the alien symbol in it.  

A figure approaches from behind him, bends down, and places a hand on his shoulder.

It mirrors the figure approaching Nora in 2x03 and touching her shoulder before burning the military men...probably the same person? Noah? The stowaway? Someone new?

After the figure touches Max, he looks at the hand, and then a red glow lights his face.

MUSIC:

1. Xocoyotzin Herrera "Esperanza"

2. Jose Luis Lepe "La Carreta"

3. Eagle Eye Cherry "Save Tonight"

4. Lousiana Red "I Done Woke Up"

5. Whissell "Magnetic"

6. Stop Dead "Alchemistress Dance"

7.  Orville Peck "Turn To Hate"

8. Kim Petras "Close Your Eyes"

9. Orville Peck "Queen Of The Rodeo"

10. Moontricks "The Fall"

11. Years & Years "Hypnotised"

12. Jordan Critz Feat. Birdtalker "Through Your Eyes"

This time I couldn't find the Whissell and Stop Dead tracks on spotify - however the Stop Dead track is referenced at being by Chelsea Dawn in the closed captions.  Which I did find. Trying to confirm this. Let me know if anyone else had better luck!

[smokeybrand]

Smokey brand Movie Reviews: Pack Mentality

With all the praise that Soul was getting for it’s gorgeous animation and brilliant narrative, half of which i would agree with, there were rumblings of it being the absolute favorite for the animation Oscar this year, And then a challenger appeared over on the Apple TV upstart; Wolfwalkers. It was this beautifully animated, especially considering it’s hand-drawn, a lost art in this age of Pixar and Dreamworks. After seeing a preview, i was instantly smitten. I had to see this film. I had to know if it was as great as everyone said.

The Good

Yo, this film is absolutely stunning! Seriously, it’s easily the best looking movie I've seen all year. Soul is an exceedingly close second but the fact that all of this is hand-drawn gives it that edge. I’m an Eighties kid so stuff like stop motion animation, practical effects, and hand-drawn animation will always carry more weight with me because i grew up with all of it. It’s fast becoming a lost art and I'm glad that there is a studio out there still willing to give this type of animation a shot. Like, holy sh*t, that way the Wolfwalkers see the world? are you kidding me??

I just gushed about the animation, itself, but i have to make note of the actual aesthetic. I love this type of stylized art. It reminds me of that old school, Cartoon Cartoon-esque, look. I’m talking Gendy and MacKracken. It looks like something completely different from the domination of that Cal Arts style from the past decade, a complete breath of fresh air. I love when content comes through, completely unique unto itself, but absolutely outstanding, nonetheless.

Tomm Moore is the director of this thing and writer of this thing. It’s got his stink all over it, which makes since, since he was the person who brought us The Secret of Kells. That film, too was absolutely stunning and played out like nothing else released that year. Tomm reminds be a lot of Travis Knight, the cat who runs Laika and makes all their stop-motion pictures. I adore the fact hat these studios are keeping the old styles alive while simultaneously delivering some of the best animation content out there.

I really like the plot to this flick, man. It’s kind of your run-of-the-mill, man versus nature, odd couple pairing, story but it’s told with such passion and reverence. This isn’t Pocahontas or Ferngully. y can tell the message is there but it’s definitely a distinct narrative crafted by Moore, one that he has been developing for a few years. You definitely feel that dedication in this flick and its all the better for it.

The music in this film is as much a character as anyone else. My, goodness, do these songs cue your emotions. Music and animation often go hand-in-hand, more so than live action films, so you absolutely need that soundtrack to hit in just the right way. The once created for Wolfwalkers is near perfect for the content. All of these Celtic rhythms and percussion are divinity for the ears.

As this is an Irish production, I’m nowhere near as well versed in this cast as i am with US productions, but Eva Whittaker and Honor Kneafsey are outstanding as the two leads,  Mebh Og MacTire and Robyn Goodfellowe. Their scenes together are amazing and the chemistry shared is surprisingly genuine. Sean Ban also comes through and delivers a commanding, yet, caring performance as Robyn's stubbornly overprotective father, Bill Goodfellowe and the horrifying cruel antagonist, Oliver Cromwell, is given life by Simon McBurney. Maria Doyle also makes an appearance as Mebh’s mother, Moll MacTire. It’s a limited one but has incredibly impact on the overall plot.

The pace of this movie is pretty nice. It moves smoothly, getting you where you need to be with a gentle push. There is no fat around this story so it’s pretty streamlined. That focus makes for a properly engaging watch and a rather entertaining one to boot.

The Bad

This thing is properly animated. While i think this is wonderful, it will definitely turn off older people and cats who think animation is for kids. Cartoons are for kids and they happen to be animated. This is a fantasy tale steeped in Irish folklore that just happens to be animated. It has to be animated. The way this thing pays out, there’s no way it could be live action or CG. Even so, the very fact that it is animated will limit the audience willing to give it a chance an that is a crying shame.

This thing is an exclusive to Apple TV. I don’t know anyone who has Apple TV and the fact that it’s got such a tiny platform to call home, really limits the amount of exposure this film is going to get. It’s f*cked up because it is, arguably, the best animated movie released this year. Like, i loved Soul because it spoke directly to the blackness in me but, as a film, as a creative endeavor born from pure creativity? Wolfwalkers craps all over Soul. I loved both of these films but the artist in me demands that Wolfwalkers be given the respect and exposure it so rightfully deserves. That ain’t happening on Apple TV.

The Verdict

I adore this film. Absolutely love it. Celtic mythology is my third favorite after Egyptian and Greek so seeing it brought to screen so vividly was a true experience. Celtic myth never gets the shine it deserves. I am grateful for Moore and his Cartoon Saloon are making incredible works and Wolfwalkers is another in a small but acclaimed library. Moore also brought us The Secret of the Kells and Song of the Sea, both excellent in their own right. Wolfwalkers definitely continues that pedigree with gorgeous visuals, a story filed with heart and emotion, outstanding performances, particularly form the two leads, and a brilliant vision of a world steeped in Celtic lore.

[die-4-the-hype]

Yungblud: Fans are my family

[INTERVIEW TRANSLATED FROM POLISH]

[SOURCE: https://soundrive.pl/article/2220/yungblud-fani-to-moja-rodzina?fbclid=IwAR1Wf_rzDHo1GdbE10xK45WDuQZJcv0_eIGTzQhJFj7c0BrkDxhddZiRMvA ]

Just two or three years ago, Dominic Harrison with his friends, Adam Warrington and Lewis Capaldi, were sitting in one of London's pubs, pouring out their regrets and wondered if they could ever sign a contract with the label. Now both Lewis and Dominic are selling out the largest halls around the world and although one of their dreams has already come true, the next ones are waiting in line.

Barbara Skrodzka: You’re going like a bomb, once again your show is sold out and the line in front of Palladium (the venue) is already at least 500 meters long. Don’t you feel overwhelmed by all of this?

Dominic Harrison: Not really. I am very happy, I feel united with these people and calm. It's weird because I've always loved chaos and energy - no matter where it came from. When I think about my fans, I feel very close to them. Before I found them, I was angry all the time, but hatred and anger turned into love and hope. I feel like I'm part of something bigger. When I meet my fans, I'm not afraid, I don't feel fear - they are my family. I love to touch them, smell them. These are the people I've always been looking for. Finding one such person would not be enough for me, now there are millions of them and it is amazing.

 Has popularity changed you?

I'm just having fun. Everyone says that fame is a huge burden, and I and my best friends travel around the world and bring a message to millions of fans. I don't feel this burden, what we do is real and comes from our hearts. Many people claim that great burden, sadness, and loneliness come with fame ... We have never felt less lonely in our lives. We have fans, they have us and we are stuck in this together. 

 Do people notice you when you go out on a free weekend?

People recognize us at every step, no matter where we are. If someone wants to take a picture with me or when I see that someone on the other side of the room is taking a picture of me, I approach them and ask: Hi, how are you? In this whole project, I never wanted to stand above anyone else. The reason why we are so close to our fans is completely different than it usually is in similar relationships. I don't want to be anyone other than one of them. I am not their leader or their king. I am nobody. We are a community of people whose number is increasing every day and can no longer be ignored.

 What’s the difference between you-Dominic and you-Yungblud?

Oh ... lots of makeup [laughs]. It seems to me that I am more energetic on stage, I feel more like myself and I am able to go beyond everyday limits. It's like being in school all the time. I feel that I have people's support and they have mine. That's what it’s all about - to do something dangerous, different, real and crazy without being judged.

 Everything you do and say is very honest.

If we weren't honest in what we do, you can believe me, it would fall apart like a house of cards. It happens all the time. You are watching a great artist who climbs to the top and after a while begins to resemble cotton candy, he is lost, he is still big, but no longer has the respect of others. I always want to be honest with my fans. It doesn't matter if I'm singing about love or my damn cat. That is why I released the EP "The Underrated Youth" - I felt that one of these songs must appear exactly at this moment and that is why it is one hundred percent real. If it doesn't make sense in five years, at least it will be honest for that moment in time. 

 Aren’t you already tired of singing some of your older songs?

Sometimes I do, but I learn to find new ways to keep performing these songs with excitement. We have already played "I Love You Will You Marry Me" hundreds of thousands of times, but today we play in Poland for an audience of over 1,500 people, so the energy will be different. Next time we come to Poland, we will play this song probably for six thousand people and this energy will also be different. Every day is different and it is strange. I don't think about it when I'm on stage, I'm lost in it.

 You have two younger sisters, do you miss them?

It is hard. When I moved out of the house, one of my sisters was nine years old, now she is twelve. This is one of those negative aspects of life on the road - I miss my family. I travel all the time and it is tiring, but they understand this lifestyle. Besides, they come to concerts and then I cry because my little sister has grown up since the last tour. The second sister is coming to me soon, she is big enough to spend a week on the road with me. 

 That’s great!

That’s what I’m spending all my money on - my family, my friends, and those who are important to me.

 You were dating Halsey and everything seemed to be going very well between you but recently you broke up.

At that time we were on two completely different paths. Halsey has her way and wants to focus on her things and I want to focus on mine. We're still friends and talk to each other. We still mean a lot to each other. But at the moment we are too much in love with our own music and our fans. Whatever I do, I want to sacrifice my heart to it one hundred percent. She is exactly the same. We're so close to the fans that we can't give each other those one hundred percent. Now we give our whole hearts to music and art. There is no quarrel between us. Everyone is expecting a crazy, controversial story, but we are not like that. We're just buddies who love music, who love their fans very much and we just do what we have to do.

 Many are wondering if you will continue working with Machine Gun Kelly and Travis Barker.

I know! People want us to go on a tour. Maybe ... For now, we are focused on what each of us does separately, but if we find some free time, we will definitely go back to the studio. Recently, I have also collaborated with Marshmello and Blackbear.

 Your dream was to play on stadiums/arenas and it will happen, I have no doubts. Is there anything else you would like to do?

I want to play on stadiums, but it's not about nothing else than building a community and reaching as many people as possible. Then not only me, but we can change the culture and leave a mark on the future, which is inevitably coming. It is not about how many albums I sell or how many awards win ... I want to create a clothing brand and charity. We already work a lot with an organization dealing with mental health. My big dream is to open a large club or several smaller clubs in other countries, such as Poland or France, everywhere from America to London, Manchester, and Australia. I would call it Black Hearts Club and it would be a club where young people from a given area can come and convert their frustration into creativity. They could skateboard, create art, learn to play instruments, design clothes, get free advice if they have problems. This is my dream. If I only have enough money, I’m gonna do it.

[defunctblogtobedeleted]

10/31/19 3:14pm - Lotssaaaa Fet Stuff

I realize now that I wrote concerts, in anticipation of getting to this weekend in the last post, and I only wrote about one concert. Dumb.

I went to my first BDSM play party on the first sat of the month. It was wild. I went in a suped up kitty outfit but found that I didn’t really enjoy my new plug as much as I’d hoped. Everyone loved it though, I met a bunch of people and got to try my first scene! My buddy gerald and Lyn topped me for some elector play and I spent a half hour getting shocked with various metal thingies. Man, it felt like thousands of scratchy tickles. I was laughing my ass off the entire time. It was amazing. It felt like a lot. But it felt exhilarating too. And I watched some intense flogging and some medical scening like needles going through tits and medical staples and electrically conductive wire being run through all of it and then electrified. It was mind blowing. I’m definitely about the scene now. It’s like enchanting to see how everyone reacts to everything in different ways. The screaming, the moaning, the shivering, the stomping. I really like to watch rope play as well, I’m meaning to start learning it myself again. Lyn said she’d practice with me, and another girl Elyse did too but we’ll get to her later. I’ve just gotta make sure I can DO it. Don’t wanna like embarrass myself lol. Though I think they’d both be pretty understanding. But still, that might be one of my next creative projects. So I guess I’ve gotten away from it but the party at the hangar was fun as fuck. Lyn came over afterward, we finally had sex and she’s the first person to successfully convince me to wear a condom since my vasectomy 😂 Sex was sex/10, nothing super special, but delightfully satisfying. Lyn’s on the heavier end of my acceptable BMI range for partners, but she’s not super heavyset or anything. Since then we haven’t been able to hang out, she had to do some surgery and has been stuck at home. But she got some electro play stuff so as soon as she’s feeling better we’re definitely gonna fool around with that :3 So high hopes that she’ll be harem member #2. fingers crossed  😘

Lyn stats -  Str - 10, Dex - 6 (currently lol), Con - 13, Int - 13, Wis - 13, Cha - 12 Hob - 16, Spo - 14, Mhp - 14, Sex - 19, Beu - 13, Sta - 10

To be clear maybe this sex stat is a little inflated, but gotta give credit where credit is due. Pretty legendary just watching her love sucking my cock for a half hour.

We were up until like 4 in the morning watching somethingorother. I downloaded the marvel movies I hadn’t seen but it wasn’t the right time to watch them. We watched some anime and cuddled up and passed out. I don’t know when she left but I’m pretty sure I slept in til like 3 or 4 I think lol.

The next day I went to durham early to see KKB play again! Hung out with Kailey and Cane and Pacos beforehand and drank a bit of champagne to pregame the concert. Honestly I was pretty fucking beat by the time the concert happened though. Like was falling asleep standing up during the show. Plus we were way in the back, the venue was way more crowded than when we saw KKB at the coffeehouse. Felt a little less romantic. But I did bump into my buddies john and travis there, that was weird. and my other friends ended up messaging me saying they were there too but didn’t bump into them. I was still happy I saw the show though, and it’s always great chilling with manu and christina and maya and pacos and oliver and rianne. I was actually supposed to switch shifts that day so I could go to another fet event on wednesday, but bailed so I could hang out with them. Despite being tired as balls I’d say it was worth.

OH MY GOD then I’m not sure if it was this monday or the previous one. But I met this thick Chris Pratt looking welsh guy at the local Fet mixer (slosh night). He kept complimenting me and said if I wanted to fool around I should let him know. Well the night rolled around and my friend had tried to introduce me to this girl who wanted to do pet play but I really didn’t hit things off with her, and was talking to this chris pratt guy about his life traveling the world and also anime. So I took him home to his hotel room, and we tried to arrange for a girl to come play with us too. Unfortunately she flaked so we sat there drinking some rum together and reminiscing on our lives and sharing stories. We decided to get some food and then start fooling around, but right then he got a call that his brother died and he’d have to change his travel plans for the week to make it to the funeral. Pretty tragic. We kissed goodbye and that was that. Guy made bannnkkkk though, I probably would’ve been a boy toy for that kinda cash lmfaoooo. It wasn’t like that. But it could have been. Who fucking knows, man.

That week my fet friend Ann came out to do karaoke with me, too. We don’t have a thing, yet. But we talk once in a while. I haven’t seen her in a minute but she’s into nerdy shit. Turns out there’s a Lot of overlap with nerdy and fet. Which is amazing for me. But Ann joined me and Terri and our friend Matt and Skyler and Jacob and Caitlin are usually there and a lot of times our buddy Jonas from emo karaoke comes too so I’ve got a great fucking posse starting to build up. Karaoke is sick. It’s like my home.

But the next weekend was a fetish fashion show, and my second play party.

For the fashion show Lyn and I had been talking about dressing up to compete, but she ended up having her surgery and couldn’t go. I still was ready to go with my kitty outfit that I had given a test run at the hangar a week before, so I was ready to rock it. Tbh I was kinda nervous. It would have helped if I found out I was the only one competing in my category, but I just wanted to make sure I looked beautiful and shit. Did the best job I’ve ever done putting on eyeliner, I’m getting a lot better lol. Actually got some compliments from the host on it. And a whole bunch of my first fet friends were there to see me!

Sidebar - I came out of the closet as bi on national coming out day on oct 11. Figured it wouldn’t matter too much, but I really wanted to. I’ve identified as bi for a long time, and I’ve been telling people in person for years, but idk I just really wanted to be public about it.

It hasn’t been a relief per se, but it definitely has made me the subtlest bit more comfortable with picturing myself in gay situations. Like there was this cute guy at the fashion show who got tied up in rope and the way the rope tied around his cock made it look huge and he was this cute blonde and I kinda imagined making out with him for a while. lolol.  I think honestly it was because of my situation the week or two before with welsh chris pratt, like I just wanted to be able to DO these things without people questioning like “is this who you are?” well yes, yes it is and has been for a bit so hrmph. Of course nobody was ever questioning if it was who I am because I always introduce myself as bi, but the imaginary people living in my head definitely question. 

The play party that night was divine though. It was newbie oriented, so you could only do things with people if you had someone experienced involved to help show you how to do things right. I bottomed an impact scene for the first time to see how it felt, my friend summer, one of the people I carpooled over with, slapped me around with a bunch of toys. I watched a lot of scenes, my buddy Gerald gave a tutorial on all the different impact toys and how to use them and what you should be looking into when you buy them. I did some wax play with summer and painted on one of the most gorgeous girls I’d ever seen with latex paint with her boyfriend and one of the hosts of the party. Gave her some cute leopard spots and she loved them :3 Me and my friends that I carpooled with skinny dipped in the “hot” tub. Ann later told me that she’s dubbed it the Tepid Tub. It’s not great. LOL but I was stubborn and sat out there for a while with everyone. Still always love to be naked in water, though I would’ve liked it more if it were a better temperature. And I met a bunch more people as always! I started talking to this girl Mariah there. She invited me to cuddle on her lap after my impact scene and I instantly jumped at the opportunity and ended up getting her number and we might hang out sometime. (LOL I’m not fucking kidding I’m really trying to get a polycule going, this is gonna be the hypest thing ever if I actually get rolling.)  I had a blast at that party though, and I’m really pumped to go back this weekend. Should be a hell of a good time. 

Sunday I went out and did a How To Kink Good roundtable discussion, primarily focusing on consent and some issues surrounding it.

I. LOVE. how much of the BDSM community revolves around consent. Everything you do has to be talked out before and after. What you want to have happen during the scene and after the scene. What kind of things you want to happen and what should not happen. It’s more than just safewords, you basically know Everything you’re going to do before you go in. Really cool stuff.

I think beforehand I played a magic tournament, and so then I think after the fet talk I had nothing to do and hung out with Jill or something as normal.

Also somewhere around here I’ve started playing some basketball. I’m actually finally working on not shooting like a moron. Won some games of 2v2 and horse with the gang when they’re trying to play. I’m actually being a little sporty on top of all this weirdness and I’m still trying to run at least twice a week. Sometimes 3. Though this week I was def lazy and only did 1. Ah well I’ll get back into the groove and shave off the last 15 pounds I want off eventually.

For now everyone is calling me beautiful and I feel beautiful and fun and I’m meeting people and it’s all so great. Everything is wonderful. I love everything I’m doing and it’s all so fascinating and weird and feels unique as fuck lol. Just when I thought I couldn’t get any weirder I definitely took another great big leap  😂

[lohveandfilm]

Paris, Texas and the Biology of Love

Paris, Texas, though a beautifully constructed and shot film, left me with a bad taste in my mouth. It took me a while to pinpoint what my issue with the film was, but I think I’ve finally figured it out. The one thing I haven’t been able to stop thinking about since class is how Walt and Anne just disappear from the story after Travis and Hunter leave for Texas. I was first struck by this odd feeling while watching the scene in which Hunter calls Walt and Anne from the road to let them know he’s safe. Up until this point, I’d been fine with the portrayal of Hunter’s growing relationship with Travis. As a biologist, I often include an evolutionary standpoint in my thoughts about love, especially in familial situations where love may be an adaptation designed to improve parenting and increase survival rates in offspring. With this context, the rapid connection between biological father and son seemed quite realistic, and I think Walt understood this a bit when he decided to introduce Travis and Hunter. My issue is in the marked indifference of Anne and Walt after Hunter, their essentially adopted son, runs away with a man who is quite possibly mentally unstable.

I watched the scene again, to make sure I wasn’t misremembering it, and I was still unnerved. Just before the phone rings, Anne is watching dishes and Walt is pouring himself a glass of wine. They don’t look happy, but they also don’t have the frantic air I would associate with the guardians of a child who has been missing all night and is likely to be with his extremely erratic father. When the phone rings, Walt furrows his brow but lacks the urgency I’d expect if they really had been searching for Hunter all night. We finally see significant emotion from Anne when she pulls the phone from Walt’s hand, a tear streaming down her cheek. She appears more distressed than Walt, but she still seems resigned to the conclusiveness of Hunter’s departure, as if he weren’t an easily influenced seven-year-old who could want to return home at any minute. After the call is over, we get a final shot of Walt smoking a cigarette and Anne sitting in Hunter’s bed, again with Anne appearing more upset than Walt but seeming to accept their fate. Why did they have these reactions to such a distressing event?

In his chapter on familial folklore, Zeitlin kept emphasizing that the reported tales were American stories, though he never specified why. I wondered throughout what, for example, a European familial folklore would look-like (the first image that popped to mind was a slightly drunken parent recounting the story of an aristocratic relative from centuries ago who lost the family title in an unfortunate scandal). I gathered that the Americanness of the stories lay in their optimism, the application of the “American dream” to all aspects of life, economic or otherwise. Although I would argue that this is probably not true – the people who came to America looking for better lives were already optimistic and, by definition, not American – the argument did make me wonder about the difference in Walt and Anne’s reactions. Was Walt more optimistic about Travis due to his American nature? He did make all of the decisions that led to Travis and Hunter’s reconnection; he brought Travis home, he introduced Travis to Hunter, and he made the family sit and watch the footage of their vacation. The last one is especially interesting, as Anne was resistant to showing the film so soon. It seems that Anne, with her European sensibilities, has more reservations about giving Hunter up so soon to an unproven parent. I’m only left to wonder why Anne didn’t resist Walt more, though I suspect she may have felt a lack of authority to override Walt’s decisions regarding his own brother. Of course, it may simply be the case that Walt would have ignored Anne no matter how much of a fight she put up, which also strikes me as a distinctly American manner. In Walt’s case, I also wonder if the story put forth by the vacation film also masked some of the apprehensions he had about Travis by reminding Walt of a time where Travis’s family relationships were seemingly more functional. Anne, who was only shown reacting to parts of the footage that contained her and Hunter, was maybe not so influenced by the sentimental nature of the movie.

I tried to imagine what I would be doing in this situation. I decided that, assuming Walt and Anne had obtained legal guardianship after nearly four years, I would’ve been calling the police and reporting Travis for kidnapping. It doesn’t matter that Travis loves Hunter, because Walt and Anne clearly love him too. Perhaps they aren’t his biological parents, but they are the people who have been most invested in his wellbeing, and they should be absolutely out of their minds with worry when he disappears. It makes no sense that they would simply abandon Hunter to Travis such a short time after Travis was literally found wandering the desert. I was especially frustrated given that Anne knew Travis would probably go to Houston to find Jane, information that would have absolutely helped police find them. I left the movie enraged that Walt and Anne would abandon this child they’d raised for over half his life and upset at the implication that Hunter was inherently better off with his biological parents. Even as a biologist, I understand that some people are better parents than others and that introducing this kind of trauma into a child’s life is much more damaging than not living with their biological parents. Maybe I’m missing a deeper message or maybe I just know people with crappy families, but this movie simply didn’t sit right with me.

[theetherrealm-blog]

ASTROWORLD ALBUM REVIEW

By: Ace Royal

    Travis Scott dropped his long anticipated project Astro World yesterday after almost a year off of Huncho Jack and two years off of Birds In The Trap. As much as I was anxiously awaiting the release just like everyone else, I have to say the project was a flop and a major disappointment to me. Before you go lighting the pitchforks just hear me out and I’ll break down exactly why.

    The production on stargazing was enjoyable but the vocals at times were harsh and hard to listen to, there’s a lot of cracks and pops reminiscent of low quality recordings and I don’t know if that’s intentional or not, but takes away from an album as hyped as this in my eyes especially when it’s mixed by a great like Mike Dean. I expect exceptional quality. The beat switch up towards the end is dope, but the production is underwhelming again for a project of this caliber, sad being a Sonny digital beat. The vocal cadence really leaves more to be decided, kind of an elementary rhyme pattern.

    Carousel has that Toronto sound courtesy of hit boy, and Frank Ocean was a pleasant surprise. It lacks a sense of direction though, it feels like a big rambling thought

    The beginning of sicko mode is dope because of the feeling of grandiose it gives you. It’s a edgy suspenseful sound that leaves you feeling like man taking its first steps on the moon. Drake comes in to increase the level of grandiose and the track sounds like it’s gonna be the first track that gets me hype on the album, and then they pull a move from the sopranos and cut to basically an entirely different record right at the start of drakes verse. Missed opportunity. This next iteration of sicko mode bores the shit out of me, especially after being jerked around by that Drake verse. It transitions into the third part and I know it’s the Tay Keith Memphis bounce before the tag even drops. Is this a Travis or a drake track? Drake is dope, but I’m here for Travis. And I’m not here for Travis rapping over tay Keith beats, this track is missing some Cardo Got Wings.

    RIP screw transitions in and immediately I’m fucking with the vibe on this one. This has that airy spacey feel I like from Travis but then Swae Lee comes in with his high pitched vocals and give a bit of an angelic vibe before the darker Scott vocals and the contrast is really enjoyable. Mike dean shows off with the mix a lot on this track and I’m all for it. Lots of vocal panning effects etc

    Stop Trying To Be GodI couldn’t find anything in the official credits but were those Cudi Adlib’s? Hmm. I’m on the fence with this one, the production is interesting, they tried to add a lot of elements but at some points it made the vocals sound off pitch to me, I just don’t think saxophone compliments Travis’ voice really well. Was very harsh to listen to in headphones.

    No bystanders was the track I’ve been waiting for. This is the sort of production that Travis should stick with, go figures being produced by frequent Scott collaborator Wondagurl who helped produce 90210, Antidote, The Ends etc. Juice Wrld was a dope surprise feature on this record. His vocals compliment Travis’ voice and the lyrical expression on the verses left me satisfied.

    I can’t tell you guys how bad I wanted to skip Skeletons. I had to listen for the sake of the review. I’ll just say I’m not here for it. Replace Travis’ voice with Ye’s. It was a Ye record featuring The Weeknd.

    The Weeknd’s voice introduces Wake Up beautifully. I’m enjoying the guitar sample laced with trap drums that has become a bit of a trend over the past year, and the new approach to it, more smooth and subtle with the Houston grit mixed with the XO romance is very pleasant. The Weeknd should of kept this for himself. The outro on this track was marvelous.

    5% tint. No blend, just hits you, rough transition. I’m gonna get some hate from the Stan’s on this. The only dope thing about this track is the homage it pays to Mike Jones and Still Tippin. That’s all I have to say.

    NC17 starts off with a Wiz Khalifa-esque cadence, as in one that sounds oddly familiar to real rich.... I will say the 21 savage feature was the one that really caught me off guard. Mixing on this record is terrible though so much that you can tell it was put together last minute. 21s vocals were mixed on the record after the fact.

    Astrothunder. Love this record. Big fan of John Meyer and his guitar playing all over this, backed by the production of Thundercat and Travis himself with the help of a frank dukes sample the record comes to life and I enjoy the many elements involved.

    Yosemite. Bruh, they just took a throw away off of drip season and threw it on here. I’m all for artists collaborating but when you add them to YOUR album I feel like you should be using their sound to COMPLIMENT yours, I don’t think you should take their sound and add yourself to it and then use it as a placeholder on your own album. That’s just wack to me and completely took away the last bit of cohesiveness the project had to me. Oh yeah Nav said hi too.

    Can’t Say. This shit fire! Of course though. It’s produced by Wondagurl. There’s a trend I’m seeing on this album where when Travis sticks to people that know him artistically he makes exceptionally great music. Who woulda thought. And bruh can we talk about Don Toliver? Those vocals were crazy! I live for this Travis sound. Great track.

    Who What This is basically a prequel to Butterfly effect. Production from Cardo Got Wings. This track rides, the bass hits and Travis is in all of his airy ambient greatness. Quavo graces the track and keeps it moving, performance wasn’t terrible but I definitely thought the track was a little too long and the novelty wore off.

    Butterfly Effect needs no explanation. This is prime Travis Scott.

    Sevn Thomas kills the production on HOUSTONFORNICATION. But again this is the theme with this album. Travis shines on production that compliments his artistic style and Travis and Sevn are no strangers. Sevn produced popular Travis record “Green and Purple”. Full of dark synths, deep bass, and astroworld-esque vocals.

    Coffee bean. I hate to hate on this track because Travis is trying to be deep and all. I respect the message. But come on, what a boring way to end an album.

    Alright so I’ve given my thoughts on the individual records themselves, let me give you my thoughts on the project as a whole.

Yes.

If this was a mid tier artist who dropped this record it would be phenomenal by all means.

But it’s not a mid tier artist.

It’s Travis Scott, one of the biggest artists making music right now, dating one of the most influential people in the world. This was his chance to drop something legendary to solidify himself and instead I feel clickbaited. The project should have been called Travis and Friends because I never really felt like the focus was on Scott for the majority of the album. It doesn’t feel cohesive, things were force-blended together. There is no concept as the title and cover art would make you believe, as Travis would make you believe. It was a collective of songs that have been recorded over the past year, packaged nicely and released as an overhyped album that Scott knew his eager fans would stream because they have been so thirsty for new music. Because of this absence of music and over eagerness to listen he banked on the fans not being too critical and he was right seeing as the masses are praising this mediocre at best project up and down. Travis really shined on Birds In The Trap but Huncho Jack and now this were not up to par.

It was a disappointment, and Scott needs to go back to the drawing board.

[plms-hockey]

Leafs @ Flames - Game 26 - Nov.28.17

KEY NARRATIVES

Tonight the Coyotes face off against the Oilers. This is Dylan Strome's first game back after a fifteen game stint in the AHL where he absolutely dominated. It all came to a head on Saturday night when Strome scored an assist and a goal in a game against the Stockton Heat to bring him to twenty-six points (a blistering 1.73 Pt/G pace) and take first place overall in AHL scoring. He did so in five fewer games than both the second and third place scorers and, as if this was the specific goal he was sent to achieve with the Tucson Roadrunners, the twenty-year-old was called up to the Coyotes the next day. The poetry of his return coming just before facing Oilers is perfection. This evening he will face off against both his brother, Ryan Strome, as well as his draft classmate, juniors best friend, and former captain, Connor McDavid. This matchup between brothers, between two once Erie Otters Captains --

Wait. Wrong game.

My bad.

I'm definitely watching the Leafs take on the Flames tonight. Totally. 

Toronto Maple Leafs (15-9-1) vs Calgary Flames (13-9-1)

The Leafs hit Calgary tonight in their second big road trip of the season: The Western Canadian Road trip. After tonight they'll play Edmonton on Thursday and Vancouver on Saturday. Without any back-to-backs, it won't be as grueling as the California trip but the Leafs have twelve away games and only three home games between now and the end of the year so they're going to have to get used to being on the road.

The Flames are currently sitting right on the edge of a wild card spot and it makes sense considering it seems like the team's a mix of hot and cold these days. Johnny Gaudreau, a speedy American forward who helped push a lot of doors open for the influx of little wingers like Mitch Marner into the NHL, is lighting in it up so far with 34 points (11G, 23A). His whole line on a bit of a tear, but there's less consistency on elsewhere in the lineup.

Defenseman Travis Hamonic is in a serious slump (well, not regressing positively like expected), which is notable because apparently, the Leafs tried to trade for him over the summer. They were apparently going to trade him for James van Riemsdyk around the draft but then JvR didn't pick up his phone and the deal didn't go through. At least, that's how the story goes.

It's looking like the Leafs dodged a bit of a bullet on that one.

In spite of only having six points so far this year, by default, the most notable player on the Calgary Flames is Jaromir Jagr. While for a time over the summer it seemed like an NHL team wasn't going to sign the 45-year-old forward (which is ridiculous because he still can easily slot into a third line spot on half the teams in the league), Calgary signed him in the first week of the season. The League is simply a better place with Jagr in it.

One more player of note is Matthew Tkachuk. He used to play with Auston Matthews in the US National Development Team Program and was selected sixth overall in the 2016 NHL Entry Draft. In spite of his young age, Matthew Tkachuk stuck in the NHL last year and immediately went about establishing himself as a notorious shit-stirrer. He's seemed to embrace the role of "known jerk" (actually just last week he was suspended for a game due to... well, shit stirring) so if you see anything going down tonight don't be shocked to see Tkachuk involved.

Updates from the Leafs' camp: Nylander's getting the fourth line treatment tonight. Babcock put him down there for a short stretch last year and more recently did the same to Marner. Everyone always defaults to assuming this is a punishment, but it does put Nylander up against softer competition which could help kickstart his offense again like it did with Marner. Though, if that's the goal I wish they'd give him a shot at center and put Soshnikov and Leivo on his wings (what a fourth line that would be?), but instead he'll be saddled next to Moore and Martin. Maybe it's like training with weighted clothes on...?

Or perhaps Babcock is just sending a message that Willy needs to step it up. Marner excelled fairly quickly in the same situation and hopefully it will go similarly for Nylander.

Also, Polak is still back in the lineup and my soul has left this plane of existence. 

Some Key Numbers

68 - Jaromir Jagr - Right Wing 13 - Johnny Gaudreau - Left Wing 23 - Sean Monahan - Center 19 - Matthew Tkachuk - Left Wing 5 - Mark Giordano - Defenseman

THE HIGHLIGHTS

THE POST GAME

Now, this was a damn hockey game. It was fun and it was fast and while Freddie had a good night, they also made his life a lot easier than it has been recently. Against Calgary, who by many models were predicted to win this game, and their powerhouse of a top-line, the Leafs only allowed twenty shots on goal.

The first goal was admittedly a total fluke from Roman Polak who keeps making me feel weird about goals for my own team. I mean this goal literally bounced off a dude's butt and now Babcock has ammunition to keep him in the lineup. Yes, I was glaring at that gift horse but at least the second goal was much cleaner. Actually, just kidding, it was filthy as hell.

It was a grinding play by Zach Hyman to dig a puck out of a corner and shovel it to an open Nikita Zaitsev. I've been really liking Hyman this year. While he's already on pace for a lot more than the 28 total points he had last year, he almost always looks solid to me. Yeah, it would be nice if he could finish a few more goals, but you never notice any faults in him on the other side of the puck. While I don't know if I want him to live on the top line next to Matthews forever, I think Hyman's going to be a valuable piece of this puzzle for a long time. Especially on a team that isn't particularly known for its defensive forwards. Or defensive defenseman... so we'll take it where we can get it.

In an act of beautiful dominance, Nazem Kadri scores the third Leafs goal less than two minutes into the third period. We're a long way from the Leafs that slept through the third period and lost games in blown leads.

While Mark Stone got one in, Calgary did get robbed of another goal or two by Freddie Andersen and I saw some people on twitter saying they shouldn't feel that bad because of it. I disagree, they should still feel bad. 

Ok, so two of the Leafs goals were kind of flukey, one was a straight-up empty net. But in the same right, Mitch Marner would have had a friggin hat-trick if he hadn't run over a witch and got himself cursed, which is my only explanation at this point. He looked lethal, firing three SOG and dishing up a few grade-A scoring chances for his teammates, all in a rough span of about three minutes in the first period. He finished the night with a solid five total shots on goal, which is a lot in its own right but even more impressive when you factor in that, as a playmaker, the Mouse passes way more than he shoots. His point drought is just getting ridiculous at this point.

Gif from Flintor

On top of a cursed Marner, the Leafs gifted goalie Mike Smith with an Auston-Matthews-shotless night, the first time any goalie has ever been given that lucky break. Yep. In Auston Matthews first one-hundred-and-three NHL games, he's never gone without a shot on goal. It's not the most impressive record Matthews holds, but it's likely one he'll hold for a while. Hilariously, Matthews wasn't even fully aware of the record and said after the game, "I won't lose any sleep over it."

"I know I can shoot the puck."

Damn straight.

Anyway, Calgary only got twenty shots on goal, Auston Matthews didn't test them, and Mitch Marner could have had three goals on his own. If this is how the Leafs look when all three of their top young guys are having trouble getting on the board, then I’m a happy camper. 

All in all, great way to start a tough road trip.

Statistics courtesy of Corsica.hockey, hockeystats.ca, and hockey-reference.com.

[tenaciousenemypatrol-blog]

My Hubby Doesn't Affection Me.

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[travisolearyisback]

I thought this way as well.  My goal was to get educated, start a business and become successful, all while finding my true self.  Then and only then would I think about a future with someone.  I did it too.  The thing that I found out though is that I’m still basically the same person that I was.  I’ve grown a bit.  We all do.  But, I realized that I missed out on some wonderful opportunities and some wonderful people.  Maybe that was fate.  Life doesn’t always turn out how you plan though.  My father got sick and as an only child I was the only one available to take care of him.  My business faltered, but I would do it all over again.  I don’t turn away from my family when they need me.  It would have been easier if I had someone there to support me though.  There I was, all alone.  There were many nights when I was lucky to get 2 hours of sleep because he needed constant attention.  Thankfully, my mom came and helped the last week of his life.  I still didn’t sleep, but at least I had someone to talk to.  He was happy because he finally got his family back after 31 years.  He actually cried tears of joy. 

Back to the topic at hand.  Age and mental status don’t really have anything to do with a healthy relationship.  I’ve known many who’ve committed to each other while teenagers and are still together and are not only happy, but can’t imagine what they would have done different.  They love each other.  Some of these people are in their 30′s and others are 90+.  The power of love is strong indeed for those that are supportive of each other.  Those people grew together.  They encourage the other to become the best person that they can be.  They support the others goals and dreams.  This is what I call healthy relationships. 

I’ve also known people that dated for 10-20 years.  They finally decided to get married and were divorced in that same year.  Marriage has a way of changing some people for the worst.  I’ve seen some that start to think that they now own the other person.  They become demanding and unreasonable.  They quit trying to please the other because they no longer feel the need to show their support.  Not to mention that most marriages don’t last anymore.  People have become selfish.  Many only want what’s best for themselves.  So, my opinion of the contract of marriage isn’t great.  I’m not big on the whole “god” thing.  I despise the church.  And, I don’t think the government has anything to do with a healthy committed relationship.

I personally don’t feel the need to get married.  I am willing to give that to the right person if that’s what they need though.  I believe that two people can be eternally happy together as soul mates, without a contract.  I will encourage my partner to become all that she wants to be and all that she can be, while supporting her for who she is.  I’ll support her dreams.  I’ll stay faithful and true to her.  I don’t think with my little head and I’m not tempted by anyone when I’ve given my heart to someone.  I’ve never cheated in any relationship that I’ve ever been in.  I have no problem saying no to others.  I’ll always give my partner what she needs, even if I’m not into it, simply because I want to see her happy.  I won’t always give her what she wants though.  I’m nobody’s door mat.  People never stop growing and I look forward to growing together with her.  I look forward to building a future that will last until our last days on this earth.  These are my goals in life. 

When it comes to you and me, it’s too early to tell what the future holds.  I know that I want you with me so that we can see where it leads.  I want to be there for you.  I want to grow with you.  I want to know everything about you.  I want to be there for Lillie to see her grow into the great person that I know she will become.  If we’re together she’ll be my daughter as well.  My blood.  I’ll never let her down.  I’ll never let you down.  That’s not saying that I won’t piss you off from time to time.  That will probably happen.  I’m far from perfect.  When I’m wrong, I’ll apologize though and correct my behavior.  I expect the same from you.  It’s not that I have to be in a relationship.  I WANT to be in a relationship with you.  I’ve been single for more than a decade now.  My happiness doesn’t depend on anyone else, but that doesn’t mean that I can’t find happiness in being with you.  That’s something extra that I desire.  We can be great on our own, but we can be far better together. 

There was never a commitment with the girl that thawed my frozen heart.  There was just an attraction and a brief encounter that wasn’t meant to last.  I’m grateful that she found her way into my life though.  Without her I wouldn’t have opened up my heart to you.  It took me awhile to admit to myself the feelings that I have for you though.  When we first messaged each other I knew that your heart was still broken and that you were in a low spot in your life.  I didn’t want to take advantage of that situation.  It was never my intention to date you and I definitely didn’t plan on falling for you.  I just wanted to be supportive and to make sure that you had someone to talk to when you were at your lowest.  Nobody deserves to be alone when they feel the way you did/do.  I know you’re still not over that relationship yet, but I don’t want to leave Topeka without trying to see what we could become. 

The fact is that I did fall for you.  I can’t get you out of my head.  You affect me in a way that I couldn’t have imagined.  I think you’re amazing inside and out.  I know that it’s not all peaches and cream with you.  You have deep issues that make you think that nobody would want to share that with you.  I’ve given it a lot of thought over the past few months.  I didn’t run away from you.  I’m not going to run either.  Your demons don’t scare me.  I’ll be there to fight them with you.  I don’t care how long it takes, I’ll always be there with you if you let me. 

I want to be there to see you become your best.  I don’t want to wait.  We can become our best together.  If I move to Denver I want you and Lillie to come with me.  No expectations.  I will never try to own you.  You will always have free will.  I’ll offer unconditional love and support for both of you.  And, I’ll put back enough money to make sure that you can come back to Topeka if you ever decide that is what you want.  You’ll never be stuck with me.  I do believe that once you’re with me, you won’t want anything else though.  I’m not like everyone else.  I’ve known that since I was a kid.  My heart is larger than most.  My loyalty is something that can’t be rivaled.  I’m honest to a fault.  Sometimes that’s good and other times it sucks.  I know that this will complicate things with Drew and Lillie though.  I told you that I won’t ever do anything to break their bond.  We’ll find a way to make sure that they see each other often.  Your friends and family will always be welcome in our home.  If we’re together they will become my family as well. 

All that I ask is for you to think hard about this.  Search your heart.  I’d like to be with you so that you can ask as many questions as you like.  I’m an open book for you.  After we’ve spent some time together, you’ll know that I’m genuine with my words, my intentions and my love for you.  Actions speak louder than words, but I can’t show you if you don’t let me.  Come to me or let me come to you.  I know you’re scared, but you have nothing to fear from me.  I will never do you wrong.  I’ll be good to you both and I know that I’ll be good for both of you as well.  You’ll both be good for me too.  This is what I want.  I hope that you will want it as well.

Yours truly,

Travis

2:30 am (4/7/2017)