#i think tlt struggled with something similar

[kraniumet]

biggest wolf 359 weakness so far is that while it's humorous, it isn't very funny

[thanergetic-hyperlinks]

Tamsyn Muir's writing beyond The Locked Tomb

Y'all, turns out there's lots of imagery and themes in TLT that Muir was already playing with in her earlier fiction. A lot of it is easily available online, in which case I'll link to it. (The short stories that aren't can also be easily read if googled, to be quite honest—that's how I read The Deepwater Bride and Why the Mermaids Left Boralus). • The House That Made the Sixteen Loops of Time (2011)

5K. Short sort-of-cozy romance (?) with (you guessed it) a time travel loop. Explores a very queer potential relationship. CamPal enjoyers might find a similar sweetness.

• The Magician's Apprentice (2012, Lightspeed Magazine)

5K. This is the one that stopped me dead on my tracks. It features an older, male mentor figure called John (a “very ordinary man” with “dark eyes”) who introduces the young, female main character to magic that has a terrible cost—and to literature such as Lolita. This excellent post by @familyabolisher does an incredible job of analyzing the very deliberate intertextual links between TLT and Lolita.

• The Woman in the Hill (2015, Lightspeed Magazine, originally for Dreams From the Witch House anthology of Lovecraftian horror by women)

4K. Possibly my favorite! It's a straightforward Lovecraftian horror, centered on the image of the woman (is it human though?) trapped in an unnatural pool inside a cursed cave. Chain imagery too. It does something different from Alecto, mind, but you can see links, ways of playing with facets of a strong central image. It's fun to consider how reliable the two narrators are. Here's an analysis and afterthought from Reactor Mag.

• Chew (2013) 4K. Zombie abuse and cannibalistic revenge story ft. an uncanny woman revenant, told from the eyes of a traumatized German boy. I was strongly reminded of Harrow's conversations with the Body. Tamsyn gave an interview on the themes and her intentions. Interesting to read in light of Alecto, I think, although I don't think she's going the same route in TLT: “the idea of post-war rebuilding connecting to rebuilding the body of the zombie; a Frankenstein who once rebuilt doesn’t act as planned or desired. […] I love cannibalism […] it’s innately spiritual […] any afterlife she goes to, he’s going too.”

• Apothecia (2014, published on Tumblr and tapas.io)

Short webcomic where an alien monster tries to corrupt the ruthless human girl who holds it captive. Musings on responsibility and murder, mention of child abuse. The alien's speech patterns remind me of a Resurrection Beast. You get wonderful dialogue like “Murder is a profession. Job. Employment, you tiny leg dog. There you are, walking along. Walk walk walk. Now you are a walker. Good job. Special child. Murder is like this.” Art by Shelby Cragg.

• The Deepwater Bride (2015, Fantasy & Science Fiction Magazine)

The opening line is: “In the time of our crawling Night Lord's ascendancy, foretold by exodus of starlight into his sucking astral wounds, I turned sixteen and received Barbie's Dream Car.” Need I say more? Extremely fun. A novelette where a young queer girl from a clairvoyant family struggles with an apocalyptic event while being annoyed by another very plucky girl. Lots of descriptions with nerdy marine zoology terms. Close in tone to Gideon. In the background, someone dies EXACTLY like that one death at the end of Gideon, which makes me wonder what happened to make Tamsyn interested in this particular image. I also liked that Tamsyn is aware of Nightwish. No link, but you'll get a PDF immediately if you Google.

• Union (2015, Clarkesworld Magazine)

5.5K. Very weird, extremely Kiwi story about a town that gets sent lab-grown wives by the government, but they're not made the usual way so they're Weird and people have feelings about it. Fascinating and eerie description of non-human (in some people's eyes, sub-human) women (?) who cannot be observed to have recognizable feelings or thoughts, yet have some sort of inner life. Quite touching, very uncanny.

• Princess Floralinda and the Forty-Flight Tower (2020)

Short novel (~200 pages). Very funny. I was reminded of Coronabeth because the whole plot is “princess finds herself branching out into decidedly non-princess-like activities”, but other than that—this is a fairytale for adults about people who make eachother worse. No particular links to TLT but a very fun read with some gut punches. Extremely Tamsyn through and through, what with the dubious morality and all.

• Why the Mermaids Left Boralus (2021, in Folk & Fairy Tales of Azeroth by Blizzard Entertainment)

Set in the World of Warcraft universe. Haven't read this one yet, will report back lmao. As with The Deepwater Bride, no link but I easily found a PDF of the entire compilation. It's illustrated!

• Undercover (2022, from Into Shadow, Amazon Original Collection)

Haven't read it either. Will edit once I do.

[notedchampagne]

Trick or Treat! I haven't read tlt yet, and I'm sure I would like it, but my pet peeve is that most of the "synopses" I see are basically just "lesbian necromancers in space!" and even the back of the book that I've seen just doesn't give me much of an idea of the plot? I'm sure I would like it, but it's hard to know what it's actually About 😔

treat. thats a similar gripe i have as well! i think its good for attracting an audience but it doesnt do much to get them hooked aside from "it has lesbians in it". if you want to get a genuine tlt fic rec from me i wrote this in goodreads. yes sorry i started a goodreads i just needed to keep track of what books i read:

the locked tomb series is about the horrors of love, the tragedy of relationships beyond romance, why codependency is not as fun as you think, the joy of sacrifices, how imperialism affects culture affects people affects imperialism, and most importantly: the humor of not knowing what the fuck is going on. i PROMISE you that tamsyn ties all of these together perfectly.

gideon the ninth is about the intimacy of hating someone youve known your whole life, the all-consuming desire to make something out of yourself and how it can destroy you if youre not careful, how no man is an island, and how you are not immune to propaganda. it is also a murder mystery. i ALSO promise tamsyn writes this all in efficiently.

throughout the series, muir's gimmick is choosing the person least equipped to narrate objectively: the points of view are opinionated, ignorant, humorous, and challenging to get through if you're someone that asks "can this PLEASE be explained now??" she sets up dominoes in seemingly random places at random times, and then knocks it all over in a beautiful cascade of information that makes you feel thrilled and sick. the series is incredibly rereadable from the layers of foreshadowing and theming between all three (soon to be four) books, but for your first run you HAVE to be patient. you HAVE to be willing to be entertained. the payoff of being invested in this series is glorious; it's red-string 'am i crazy' hype. i have a google doc listing off theme connections and details that i started for fun. the characters are MEAN, which i value with my life. gideon and harrowhark are 17 and 18 years old and they act like it: they're funny, theyre self-flagellating, theyre bitchy, theyre unreasonable, etc etc. every character flaw is consistent with their being.

my biggest gripes with the series is that the worldbuilding is too weak for what i can see it being and the memes can be a little niche. the setting and necromancy is moreso a tool for the characters, so theres a lot of beautiful tidbits and descriptions, but you're not going to get any rules or meta beyond surface-level aesthetics. personally, "lesbian necromancers in space" does not cut it for me. if you were raised catholic though, this book might strike a chord with you. if you were raised catholic AND you are a lesbian, youre the target audience. i hope you have fun YOU WILL LIKE THIS SERIES/BOOK IF YOU LIKE: tragedy, character juxtaposition, the teen butch struggle, the exploration of love and toxic dynamics, mystery, sci-fi written like a fantasy novel, catholic theming, death theming, enemies to lovers but worse, freaky white girls, dyke drama, lesbians that have problems bigger than dyke drama, swordfighting, character duos, morally gray characters YOU MIGHT NOT LIKE THIS BOOK/SERIES IF YOU DISLIKE: being confused, being left in the dark for too long, unreliable narrators, morally gray characters, loose/light worldbuilding

[mercyisms]

hello do you have any book recs? we share similar taste and i would love to know what your picks are

oh!! what a fun question. i think i am fairly eclectic with my books (a whole mess), however, some very contemporary novels [etc] i've enjoyed recently are:

lote by shola von reinhold: which was a rec from @cristabel-oct that really has not left my mind since reading it. basically every other contemporary book that's trying to do stuff with gender or obsession (or even a sort of 'fandom') has paled in comparison to lote imo. the parody of art/academic culture is also v satisfying!!

piranesi by susanna clarke: possibly another one everyone else has heard of but, like! it's great stuff! i read it all in one sitting and it made me feel electrified and excited about books again (in the same way tlt has). so much voice + a engrossing, contained world. (a very obvious pair to borges' house of asterion, which is mb the best three page short story?)

megan whalen turner's entire queen's thief series: the first book is a breezier heist geared towards younger readers and yes the fourth book is the weakest but every other one is like so good. do you like eye and hand trauma! i think this series is my most natural rec for anyone who likes tlt (probably you have already read it!). i think it is some of the most clever plotwork and just a fully rendered world of nation-states and compelling actors throughout that always feel at motion. love when a schemey shady guy loves an incredibly cool, composed woman, what can i say?

also in the realm of 'big name' contemporary fiction, i am very energized by karen russell's writing in general? i've only read her short story collections but like. what a fun, expansive mind. she struggles with endings most, but i am usually in love with her prose decisions and the sheer level of weird, bizarre joy. her short story about presidents of the united states of america reincarnated as horses should not be one of the best stories of all time but, like, maybe it is?

i was also a big fan of hassan blasim's surreal the corpse exhibition and other stories of iraq. again, this feels cliche but words like 'visceral,' 'incisive' and 'playful' would not be out of place as descriptors. as much as it's about war, a lot of it is also a very macabre sort of borges. my favourite story is the one abt people who can just make knives appear and disappear. top tier power. reaching slightly farther back (although not much) fire and hemlock by diana wynne jones has no business being that much of a banger, david wojnarowicz's close to the knives is something i read for when i want to be jolted Awake by prose, we have always lived in the castle by shirley jackson is a masterpiece, and changeling by joy williams lives in that same luxurious/creepy register. the prime of miss jean brodie still absolutely kills on a prose level. & revisiting borges was one of the best things i did last year! as quick hits, in addition to the karen russell short story above, ling ma's los angeles is very fun, as is anthony veasna so's maly, maly, maly (you'll need paris review access boo hiss), and ottessa moshfegh's (of rest and relaxation fame) novella mcglue is about gay pirates?? i feel like most of these are very obvious recs, but they are the first that come to mind! give me your recs, anon. making this little list made me feel like i really do not read enough. but those are probably too many of my personal faves and idk Recent Formative Texts.

[sylvanas-girlkisser]

So, i finished HtN Monday (as well as the NtN preview), and well... it’s fine. Nothing life changing, but I’ll probably be getting the third book on release.

The biggest downfall of the series is, in my opinion the way in which Tamsyn Muir struggles to conceptualize death outside of the purely, for lack of a better word, bodily. Death in the world of TLT means the removal of the consciousness from the body, and the end of bodily functions. Only lip service is paid to concepts such as legacy and mourning; while the metaphysics of death is turned into simply “death energy” (as opposed to life energy, a duality popularized by Dungeon and Dragons).

And yes these metaphysics are explored in, frankly excruciating details, but it never really graduates from a matter of formula and variables. In fact, for a fantasy story steeped in religious imagery, it has a painfully atheistic worldview: everything in the world can be understood and quantified by humans, its just a matter of getting the right mathematical models.

There’s a lot more I wanna say about TLT’s representation of death, but I feel like i would need to go back to uni and spend 4 months nose deep in books about theological conceptions of death across cultures to even properly verbalize it (maybe this is what finally pushes me to start making video essays). I have a really good example that sorta sums up my feelings, but it requires spoiling a major plot twist of “The Stone Sky” so it goes beneath the cut (Hint: “Hello, little enemy.”)

All of this is by the way points in the book’s favor, I like that its’ making me think about this stuff, even if it is largely to talk about how I think the book missed the mark. I love that it tries to do something interesting, even if it doesn’t quite succeed.

Which isn’t to say that the story is without its flaws. When Gideon and Ianthe meet in the second book, and Gideon essentially turns to the reader and goes: “Relationships should be built on a foundation of mutual trust and respect. If your partner is withholding affection or in other ways ‘playing’ with your emotions it could be a sign that they have personal issues they need to work through before they are able to commit to a romantic relationship. Also killing people is bad.” Was pretty cringy, but the scene is there, then gone again, so i can ignore it.

Same goes for Gideon and Harrow’s relationship being based on a lifetime spent growing up together as the only two kids around, which we see at most one or two snippets of per book. It’s a flaw, but it doesn’t really impact the overall story.

Lastly I know I bring up Broken Earth a lot when discussing TLT but I think its justified considering the fact that Muir is, either consciously or uncosciously, making a book that is stylistically very similar to TBE. You’ve got a dystopic setting that blends scifi and fantasy, “specialist” wizard with a lot of real world academic knowledge of related topics (Orogeny requires knowledge of geology, Necromancy requires knowledge of anatomy), and of course the second person narrator revealed late in the story to be brought on by the protagonist inflicting memory loss upon herself.

Please read “The Broken Earth” trilogy by N.K. Jemisin it’s so good

As for the Stone Sky spoilers: Jemisin spends 3 books explaining in great detail how the planet doesn’t literally hate humanity, that’s just superstition. Its a domino effect stemming from a temporary shift in the planet’s gravity caused by the loss of its’ moon leading to destabilization in the earth’s crust and mantle, which is resulting in reocurring catastrophic earthquakes and volcanic eruption.

And then 2/3rds of the way through the last book she goes “Sike! The earth is actually conscious, and it hates humanity for a sin committed so long ago we don’t even have historical records of it, but which on a planetary scale feels like moments ago”. Specifically as a way to remind the viewer that there will always be things we as humans will never understand.

TLT has a similar concept where planets contain energy representing essentially their potential to support life, as well as the life it has already supported; but this energy is aggressively de-anthropomorphized (that’s a word now). It’s just energy, only tangentially different from the kind powering your phone in this very moment, and that feels like such a misunderstanding of the sense of wonder inherent to the fantasy genre.

[scalierpepper]

I'VE BEEN REFLECTING ON THIS TOO LIKE...I think about tlt so much that it's permeated my entire life (for the better!). ntn is so special to me, and Camilla caring for Nona has legit helped myself to take care of MY body. I don't really know how to put it into words either so this is long and rambly.

(Something something) thinking about Camilla and Palamedes and Pyrrha and their gentle encouragement and patience when Nona struggles to eat, because it's important for Harrow's body to have fuel - on days where I'm struggling it reminds me that whether or not I like it, my body needs fuel too. But they find compromises for Nona, getting her food she likes when it's possible and letting her trade bites for glasses of water, and reading to her in the bath as an incentive, etc. Compromises are okay to make, there are good days and bad days, and what matters is that you're trying.

Or the simplicity and romanticization of stretching together in the mornings - regular exercise is NOT my forte but as my daily life and my hobbies all involve a lot of sitting still I've felt the benefits of moving or stretching and literally the other day I was genuinely excited to get up from drawing and stretch a little because it made me think of Nona and Camilla. One time I even helped my sister who was in emotional distress and asked for my help to calm down lol - I couldn't remember any breathing exercises but for whateven fucken reason the first thing that did come to mind was Nona squeezing Hot Sauce's hand and counting each breath like Camilla had taught her. The list goes on...Cam's consistent and never-ending patience kind of bleeds over into anything similar. And what helps is that Cam isn't super soft or over-enthusiastic about it, either (That job is for Crown and maybe Pyrrha and Palamedes ;)). Some days I just can't bring myself to feel nice feelings about basic self care! But I can feel neutral necessity.

As stupid as it sounds because they are fictional characters I TRUST the sixth (and Pyrrha too) to take care of their entire little fambly in the best way possible despite all the circumstances because they are SMART and COMPETENT and GOOD. So when Camilla is so patient and reliable (and sweetly handsome and good I am actually in love with her hghhhhhh. You and me both, Nona), her regular presence in my brain becomes an example of how to treat myself like I'm simply caring for a soul occupying a body of a person who are worth loving and caring for.

Like it feels weird to vocalize all this because man its so silly that a piece of media can influence someone's life so much, but it's also wonderful and sweet, in a way. Nona the Ninth is about love and it's so beautifully written that the love has escaped the book and made me susceptible to loving my own self a little more.

Camilla Hect's vast well of patience with Nona puts a tight squeeze on my heart. For weeks I've tried to write posts about how weird Camilla makes me feel in NtN. I can't do it though. I can't put it to words. I've discarded more posts than I'd like to admit.

Send help.

[preciousmetals0]

Travel Bans and Broken Circuit Breakers

Travel Bans and Broken Circuit Breakers:

Rolling in the Deep

Double the circuit breakers, double the fun?

For the second time this week, trading halted on Wall Street — both in futures trading and during the regular session.

Welcome to the bear market.

Sparking the chaos this time around was President Trump’s less-than-reassuring and confusing response to the growing COVID-19 threat. The confusion started in a speech last night, when Trump announced a 30-day ban on travel from Europe.

Well, most travel. The Department of Homeland Security later clarified that the U.K. and the Irish Republic are exempt, as are U.S. citizens and permanent residents coming from Europe.

Trump also said that the ban “will not only apply to the tremendous amount of trade and cargo, but various other things.” However, he later clarified that the ban only applied to people, not goods or trade.

Confused yet? Here’s another mixed message…

A final point of contention was Trump’s claim that American health insurance companies had agreed to waive copays for coronavirus tests and treatments: “Earlier this week, I met with the leaders of health insurance industry who have agreed to waive all co-payments for coronavirus treatments, extend insurance coverage to these treatments, and to prevent surprise medical billing.”

This statement also needed some fine-tuning, which industry group America’s Health Insurance Plans was more than happy to provide: “For testing. Not for treatment,” the group said.

The Takeaway: 

What we’ve got here is failure to communicate. Some men, you just can’t reach. So you get what we had here last week — which is the way he wants it. Well, he gets it. And I don’t like it any more than you men. — Captain, Cool Hand Luke

Regular Great Stuff readers know that I’m politically agnostic on here … and for good reason. Preaching politics doesn’t make you money. It doesn’t protect your investments.

However, sometimes we need to take a closer look at what’s said in the political realm, because those actions have real-world repercussions on your portfolios … and your 401(k)s.

Today, Wall Street is saying loud and clear that it’s not happy with last night’s speech. Regardless of whether you agree with the president or not, the market still hit the down-limit circuit breakers … again.

The recent market panic even has the Oracle of Omaha befuddled. “And it may have taken me to 89 years of age to throw this one into the experience, but the markets, if you have to be open second by second, they react to news in a big time way,” Warren Buffett said in an interview on Yahoo Finance this week.

But you, dear readers … you aren’t befuddled. If you’re following along at home, you are holding bonds via the iShares 20+ Year Treasury Bond ETF (Nasdaq: TLT), gold in the form of the SPDR Gold Trust (NYSE: GLD) and currencies in the Invesco CurrencyShares Swiss Franc Trust (NYSE: FXF).

These exchange-traded funds (ETFs) and similar investments are your critical fallout shelters from the market storm. Well … these ETFs and toilet paper, apparently. That stuff is almost as good as gold right now, and I think that says a lot about the market’s state of panic.

I’ve said it before, and I’ll keep saying it throughout this pandemic: Don’t panic.

Stay calm. Stay rational. There will be a time when this is all over. By preserving your capital, you position yourself to take full advantage of the rebound when it comes. And it will come, dear readers. It will come.

Now, perhaps moving assets to gold and buying bonds isn’t your thing. That’s OK.

There are other ways to prepare … yes indeed. Although, these murky market waters are tough to navigate on your own. Remember, the experts here at Banyan Hill have been in this kind of market environment many times before.

Just ask Ted Bauman — our resident expert on how to weather market turbulence. Instead of running for the hills, keen folks like Ted jump into the trenches, focusing on the best moves to make.

He just shared this urgent message with me from a former Washington insider.

If you’re still unsure of how to prepare for this volatility, it’s beyond time to watch this. Click here now!

The Good: Generally Great

Looking for an outstanding bargain for the start of the new bear market? Look no further than Dollar General Corp. (NYSE: DG).

The discount retailer checked all the right boxes with this morning’s quarterly report: better-than-expected growth in earnings, revenue and same-store sales. Dollar General also lifted guidance above Wall Street’s targets and boosted its quarterly dividend by 12.5%.

The retailer even said that it didn’t see any supply disruptions due to the coronavirus. The only thing missing from the standout report was a share buyback program.

For those of you who remember the last market mess back in 2008, you might also remember that discount retailers like Dollar General held up better than most. This should be true once again … especially since Dollar General stores are everywhere! Why go to that crowded supermarket when you can hit up your local DG to restock your stay-at-home supplies?

Now … I wonder if they have toilet paper?

The Bad: Party Over, Oops, out of Time

Life is just a party, and Party City Holdco Inc. (NYSE: PRTY) wasn’t meant to last.

If Dollar General is everything you want in a retailer right now, Party City is the exact opposite. The party supplier announced a net loss of more than half a billion dollars last quarter.

Adjusted earnings missed expectations, as did revenue, which plunged 9.2% year over year. Guidance for fiscal 2020 was also well below expectations.

Making matters worse, the company closed 35 stores last year and has already closed another 20 in 2020.

I mean, if you’re having an “end of the world” party, I guess Party City could be your mascot.

With most big gatherings and large events discouraged for the foreseeable future, I cannot see Party City rebounding in any meaningful way right now. That’s some harsh news for a stock that plunged 88% last year alone … and was nearly cut in half during today’s bloodbath.

The Ugly: Boeing’s Lost That Loving Feeling

“Come on, man. I hate it when she does that…” — Goose, Top Gun

Travel warnings couldn’t have come at a worse time for The Boeing Co. (NYSE: BA). The company was already struggling with orders and suspended operations due to the 737 Max debacle, but now it has something entirely different to worry about.

According to reports, the company froze hiring, suspended nonessential travel and placed limits on overtime. Boeing will also draw down (or completely withdraw) the rest of a $13.8 billion loan that it secured last month, according to “a person familiar with its plans.”

If you’re wondering what all this is about, it means that Boeing is in cash-preservation mode. With the coronavirus limiting global air travel, many airlines are pausing orders or outright canceling them. In short, Boeing is taking steps now to prepare for any such breakdown in orders — and potential troubles in the lending market, it seems.

In the long run, Boeing’s proactive moves are a good thing for the company. However, BA stock will be punished over the short term. This means that, eventually, BA shares will be a bargain-shopper’s dream. When that “eventually” will arrive, however, remains to be seen.

It’s time for Reader Feedback … and boy, did I strike a few nerves this week.

On Tuesday, I asked for your feedback on President Trump’s proposal to cut payroll taxes to zero. I wondered how people would take advantage of that tax cut if they were too sick to work, and how people would spend the money if they were quarantined or too sick to leave home.

And feedback I got…

Let Them Order Online!

Wake up! Did you ever hear of Amazon delivery to your door? Wow. If people have money and needs or wants, they will spend it. Enough said?

— Joe E.

People will spend money online.

— Sunny L.

What is wrong with you? That question/statement is so stupid it defies reason. We live in the world of Amazon.

— Elain M.

Has Great Stuff really forgotten that Jeff Bezos is our coronavirus savior? Nah, fam.

I know that you can order online. I took that into account when asking these questions. But I got this response so many times from so many of you that I thought I should at least give you some airtime.

You’re all correct. Amazon and online ordering do exist. But online sales only make up a fraction of the overall U.S. retail market — projections peg 2020 e-commerce sales at only 12.4% — mostly because not everyone has access to online ordering at home. Just throwing that out there for you to chew on.

Also, there’s nothing wrong with me. My mother had me tested.

The Coronavirus Is a Gas, Gas, Gas!

Most people who catch coronavirus have a mildly upset digestive system for the first two weeks and fart wherever they go, spreading more viruses. Then, the third week, it moves into the respiratory tract like a Type A flu bug, and people lose their voices and cough a lot.

It’s that first two weeks of farting around that makes the virus so contagious. Most people just blame something they ate. They don’t know they are contagious.

— Robert S.

I … I am … well. Ahem … you readers never cease to amaze me.

To reassure many of you out there, the Centers for Disease Control and Prevention says that farts “do not constitute another transmission route of COVID-19, unless someone takes a good and rather close sniff of gas from a pantless patient.”

And that’s all I’m going to say about that.

Going, Going … Gone?

As a 50-year-old American who has worked my entire life and played by the rules, I want to know if my Social Security will be there in 15 years if we aren’t fully funding the program due to this “payroll” tax cut!

— T. Flores

T. is asking the real question here. This was my first reaction to the payroll tax cut news as well.

Now, Great Stuff doesn’t have a concrete answer for you on this one. So, I’m pitching this one over to Banyan Hill expert Ted Bauman:

I think the fair answer would be that it’s anyone’s guess!

We would need a change in Washington that takes the needs of citizens for a decent social safety net seriously. That’s the reality of the situation. If we continue to have the fantasyland crowd in charge, then it’s a given that Americans will be left to fend for themselves eventually.

Thanks, Ted!

Have you written in yet? What’s stopping you? Drop me a line at GreatStuffToday@banyanhill.com and let me know how you’re doing out there in this crazy market.

That’s a wrap for today. But if you’re still craving more Great Stuff, you can check us out on social media: Facebook and Twitter.

Until next time, good trading!

Regards,

Joseph Hargett

Editor, Great Stuff

[goldira01]

Rolling in the Deep

Double the circuit breakers, double the fun?

For the second time this week, trading halted on Wall Street — both in futures trading and during the regular session.

Welcome to the bear market.

Sparking the chaos this time around was President Trump’s less-than-reassuring and confusing response to the growing COVID-19 threat. The confusion started in a speech last night, when Trump announced a 30-day ban on travel from Europe.

Well, most travel. The Department of Homeland Security later clarified that the U.K. and the Irish Republic are exempt, as are U.S. citizens and permanent residents coming from Europe.

Trump also said that the ban “will not only apply to the tremendous amount of trade and cargo, but various other things.” However, he later clarified that the ban only applied to people, not goods or trade.

Confused yet? Here’s another mixed message…

A final point of contention was Trump’s claim that American health insurance companies had agreed to waive copays for coronavirus tests and treatments: “Earlier this week, I met with the leaders of health insurance industry who have agreed to waive all co-payments for coronavirus treatments, extend insurance coverage to these treatments, and to prevent surprise medical billing.”

This statement also needed some fine-tuning, which industry group America’s Health Insurance Plans was more than happy to provide: “For testing. Not for treatment,” the group said.

The Takeaway: 

What we’ve got here is failure to communicate. Some men, you just can’t reach. So you get what we had here last week — which is the way he wants it. Well, he gets it. And I don’t like it any more than you men. — Captain, Cool Hand Luke

Regular Great Stuff readers know that I’m politically agnostic on here … and for good reason. Preaching politics doesn’t make you money. It doesn’t protect your investments.

However, sometimes we need to take a closer look at what’s said in the political realm, because those actions have real-world repercussions on your portfolios … and your 401(k)s.

Today, Wall Street is saying loud and clear that it’s not happy with last night’s speech. Regardless of whether you agree with the president or not, the market still hit the down-limit circuit breakers … again.

The recent market panic even has the Oracle of Omaha befuddled. “And it may have taken me to 89 years of age to throw this one into the experience, but the markets, if you have to be open second by second, they react to news in a big time way,” Warren Buffett said in an interview on Yahoo Finance this week.

But you, dear readers … you aren’t befuddled. If you’re following along at home, you are holding bonds via the iShares 20+ Year Treasury Bond ETF (Nasdaq: TLT), gold in the form of the SPDR Gold Trust (NYSE: GLD) and currencies in the Invesco CurrencyShares Swiss Franc Trust (NYSE: FXF).

These exchange-traded funds (ETFs) and similar investments are your critical fallout shelters from the market storm. Well … these ETFs and toilet paper, apparently. That stuff is almost as good as gold right now, and I think that says a lot about the market’s state of panic.

I’ve said it before, and I’ll keep saying it throughout this pandemic: Don’t panic.

Stay calm. Stay rational. There will be a time when this is all over. By preserving your capital, you position yourself to take full advantage of the rebound when it comes. And it will come, dear readers. It will come.

Now, perhaps moving assets to gold and buying bonds isn’t your thing. That’s OK.

There are other ways to prepare … yes indeed. Although, these murky market waters are tough to navigate on your own. Remember, the experts here at Banyan Hill have been in this kind of market environment many times before.

Just ask Ted Bauman — our resident expert on how to weather market turbulence. Instead of running for the hills, keen folks like Ted jump into the trenches, focusing on the best moves to make.

He just shared this urgent message with me from a former Washington insider.

If you’re still unsure of how to prepare for this volatility, it’s beyond time to watch this. Click here now!

The Good: Generally Great

Looking for an outstanding bargain for the start of the new bear market? Look no further than Dollar General Corp. (NYSE: DG).

The discount retailer checked all the right boxes with this morning’s quarterly report: better-than-expected growth in earnings, revenue and same-store sales. Dollar General also lifted guidance above Wall Street’s targets and boosted its quarterly dividend by 12.5%.

The retailer even said that it didn’t see any supply disruptions due to the coronavirus. The only thing missing from the standout report was a share buyback program.

For those of you who remember the last market mess back in 2008, you might also remember that discount retailers like Dollar General held up better than most. This should be true once again … especially since Dollar General stores are everywhere! Why go to that crowded supermarket when you can hit up your local DG to restock your stay-at-home supplies?

Now … I wonder if they have toilet paper?

The Bad: Party Over, Oops, out of Time

Life is just a party, and Party City Holdco Inc. (NYSE: PRTY) wasn’t meant to last.

If Dollar General is everything you want in a retailer right now, Party City is the exact opposite. The party supplier announced a net loss of more than half a billion dollars last quarter.

Adjusted earnings missed expectations, as did revenue, which plunged 9.2% year over year. Guidance for fiscal 2020 was also well below expectations.

Making matters worse, the company closed 35 stores last year and has already closed another 20 in 2020.

I mean, if you’re having an “end of the world” party, I guess Party City could be your mascot.

With most big gatherings and large events discouraged for the foreseeable future, I cannot see Party City rebounding in any meaningful way right now. That’s some harsh news for a stock that plunged 88% last year alone … and was nearly cut in half during today’s bloodbath.

The Ugly: Boeing’s Lost That Loving Feeling

“Come on, man. I hate it when she does that…” — Goose, Top Gun

Travel warnings couldn’t have come at a worse time for The Boeing Co. (NYSE: BA). The company was already struggling with orders and suspended operations due to the 737 Max debacle, but now it has something entirely different to worry about.

According to reports, the company froze hiring, suspended nonessential travel and placed limits on overtime. Boeing will also draw down (or completely withdraw) the rest of a $13.8 billion loan that it secured last month, according to “a person familiar with its plans.”

If you’re wondering what all this is about, it means that Boeing is in cash-preservation mode. With the coronavirus limiting global air travel, many airlines are pausing orders or outright canceling them. In short, Boeing is taking steps now to prepare for any such breakdown in orders — and potential troubles in the lending market, it seems.

In the long run, Boeing’s proactive moves are a good thing for the company. However, BA stock will be punished over the short term. This means that, eventually, BA shares will be a bargain-shopper’s dream. When that “eventually” will arrive, however, remains to be seen.

It’s time for Reader Feedback … and boy, did I strike a few nerves this week.

On Tuesday, I asked for your feedback on President Trump’s proposal to cut payroll taxes to zero. I wondered how people would take advantage of that tax cut if they were too sick to work, and how people would spend the money if they were quarantined or too sick to leave home.

And feedback I got…

Let Them Order Online!

Wake up! Did you ever hear of Amazon delivery to your door? Wow. If people have money and needs or wants, they will spend it. Enough said?

— Joe E.

People will spend money online.

— Sunny L.

What is wrong with you? That question/statement is so stupid it defies reason. We live in the world of Amazon.

— Elain M.

Has Great Stuff really forgotten that Jeff Bezos is our coronavirus savior? Nah, fam.

I know that you can order online. I took that into account when asking these questions. But I got this response so many times from so many of you that I thought I should at least give you some airtime.

You’re all correct. Amazon and online ordering do exist. But online sales only make up a fraction of the overall U.S. retail market — projections peg 2020 e-commerce sales at only 12.4% — mostly because not everyone has access to online ordering at home. Just throwing that out there for you to chew on.

Also, there’s nothing wrong with me. My mother had me tested.

The Coronavirus Is a Gas, Gas, Gas!

Most people who catch coronavirus have a mildly upset digestive system for the first two weeks and fart wherever they go, spreading more viruses. Then, the third week, it moves into the respiratory tract like a Type A flu bug, and people lose their voices and cough a lot.

It’s that first two weeks of farting around that makes the virus so contagious. Most people just blame something they ate. They don’t know they are contagious.

— Robert S.

I … I am … well. Ahem … you readers never cease to amaze me.

To reassure many of you out there, the Centers for Disease Control and Prevention says that farts “do not constitute another transmission route of COVID-19, unless someone takes a good and rather close sniff of gas from a pantless patient.”

And that’s all I’m going to say about that.

Going, Going … Gone?

As a 50-year-old American who has worked my entire life and played by the rules, I want to know if my Social Security will be there in 15 years if we aren’t fully funding the program due to this “payroll” tax cut!

— T. Flores

T. is asking the real question here. This was my first reaction to the payroll tax cut news as well.

Now, Great Stuff doesn’t have a concrete answer for you on this one. So, I’m pitching this one over to Banyan Hill expert Ted Bauman:

I think the fair answer would be that it’s anyone’s guess!

We would need a change in Washington that takes the needs of citizens for a decent social safety net seriously. That’s the reality of the situation. If we continue to have the fantasyland crowd in charge, then it’s a given that Americans will be left to fend for themselves eventually.

Thanks, Ted!

Have you written in yet? What’s stopping you? Drop me a line at GreatStuffToday@banyanhill.com and let me know how you’re doing out there in this crazy market.

That’s a wrap for today. But if you’re still craving more Great Stuff, you can check us out on social media: Facebook and Twitter.

Until next time, good trading!

Regards,

Joseph Hargett

Editor, Great Stuff

[llycaons]

first of all someone said 'um yeah it's called having taste' or smt to that effect and it was so fucking pretentious and I know I posted something similar to that the other day and I'm sorry for subjecting you all to that is IS super annoying

tlt is obviously the big one. one person simply tagged: #there has to be some other fantasy series with lesbians

a long way to a small angry planet I thought was SO boring so I'm gratified seeing ppl who dislike it lol. this is by becky chambers, who a lot of people also criticize for being too 'cozy' and for poor sf worldbuilding and for not involving...stakes. and nuance

I never finished that book but I did get that sense lol

SOMEONE VAGUING MOBY DICK IN THE NOTES?:

#the fucking book about a sea journey but the guy keeps infodumping about sealife so fucking much for PAGES ON END that you can barely rememb

YOU DON'T LIKE PAGES OF FAKE CETOLOGY? AWOOSH?

the person going [redacted] about the book they hate. even here in the tags you remain vague...mysterious

about priory of the orange tree: 'how a book so long be so shallow?'

brando sando haters. I liked mistborn but it also sucked so I feel you. his prose is honestly really clumsy

the babel hate, which I respect

someone says they actively rec it but also explain in-depth everything it failed to do which actually lines up pretty well w my experience of reading it

"#do i even have to say what my number 1 haterism book is........" can you. for me? the person in the tags? one hater to another?

#people who hate books designed to be unobjectionable from concept to execution are my brothers and comrades. lovers even - SO real. nothing more suffocatingly bland than an adult work trying to be flat and tame and niceys about everything

ppl talking about the owl house? the children's show?

SOMEONE ELSE WHO HATES THE GOBLIN EMPEROR ❤❤❤❤❤

the ppl getting recced sjm when asking for books with gnc couples or no romance. hello?

lot of madeleine miller. I actually enjoyed tsoa but was it good? idk

the house in the cerulean sea, naturally

#me seeing people recommend name of the wind#girl the blatant misogyny and poor character development..... - YOU GET IT

fourth wing author is a zionist and the ideas are clearly present in her work apparently. also I tried reading that book and the literal first page I was like. this sucks shit

ERIN MORGENSTERN HATE. JANA!!!!!!: #doctor: read erin morgenstern the famous hack. she sucks shit and uses whimsy the way a landlord uses white paint she's so bad it's funny #erin morgenstern: but doctor #doctor: i know who you are - like her writing is literally so flat and lifeless and empty of heart and nothing in her story has any emotional of plot weight to it and it's sooo shallow and obsessed with aesthetics but the aesthetics aren't even good and I've read better and more beautiful prose in a fanfic. I hate her so much

#i have this problem with she ra fanfic#no that fic does not handle the catradora act 2 break up well - incredibly specific but I have the same struggles in my fanfic journeys so I can't judge

#it always makes me think like What Makes A Good Book and how it really just depends on the person. - this person loves tlt and I don't wanna be mean about their taste but like, it IS possible to objectively assess the quality of a written work. some books are simply objectively bad. like yeah ppl have different tastes and takeaways but sometimes quality is undeniable, you know?

someone in all caps yelling abt how they hate pride and prejudice. rip

someone saying LES MIS?

#not 1:1 but that one time my wife asked for recs for books with interesting even unusual prose#and no joke got a legends and lattes reply

'JRR Martin" who? 😭 probably grrm

CONCLUSION: #the moral of the story is to never vagueblog just be a hater on main !!!!!!

the tags on that post are delicious btw. yes wot is extremely bioessentialist no they are not 'doing cool things with gender' I haven't seen s2 btw I'm just talking abt the books

[every2piness-blog]

I am officially a down skirt convert. Years were spent scoffing at down skirts on clearance racks.  I wondering who cared about being feminine when crushing it in the backcountry. Surely down skirts were for people at ski resorts that spent most of their time in the bar.  What a fool I was.  Let me share with you the journey I found myself on this winter, and perhaps, you will become a convert as well.

The Ignorance

During one of our snowshoe trips this year, I found myself standing next to a snowy lake.  The wind whipped around my legs, instantly chilling my sweat soaked, spandex-clad tuchus.  Knowing my snow pants would take too long to assemble, I grabbed my down jacket and wrapped it around my butt.  I let the hood flop on the back and tied the arms into a lumpy belt. As I felt sweet warmth flood my lower body, and hypothermia panic ease into the distance, I realized I had fashioned myself a down skirt.  The following weekend, I picked up the Marmot Pip insulated skirt at a REI garage sale and tested it at Source Lake a week later.  Spoiler-alert: it was awesome.

Cold is a constant battle for me when snowshoeing.  My core body temperature hovers around 96.5 F, which is a scant 1.5 degrees from the first stages of hypothermia.  Snowshoeing is an active sport requiring minimal layers while climbing, lest you sweat and chill as soon as you stop moving.  It took me years to find a layering system with minimal sweating on the ascent, but comfort at the peak. As a result, I am not an ultralight snowshoer, in fact, I am much more in the ultraheavy maximalist range.  If you can get away with fewer layers and still have fun in the mountains, I applaud you! If you are sensitive to cold and love to flirt with hypothermia, I offer the down skirt as a solution.

The first year that we started snowshoeing regularly, my poor snowshoeing partners had to endure my audible sobbing on the descent.  Once my body reaches a certain level of cold, crying is inevitable, even when I am having fun.  This does not make for a joyful outing for my companions. No one wants to hike behind the person that is cry-gasping, “I promise I am ok, I just need to cry for 20 minutes”.  It would be one thing if this drama was occurring on the top of K2 after a magnificent alpine feat.  It is another thing entirely to subject friends to this drama when it is a bluebird day in the Cascade mountains 4 miles away from Steven’s Pass.  Finding a layering system that avoids the chill was a top priority.  Now when I cry in the mountains, it is not from cold!

My bottom layer when snowshoeing is CW-X running tights, which wick away sweat, and keep my legs the perfect temperature when climbing.  As soon as I stop moving in the snow, I need to quickly layer up and that is where the skirt comes in so handy.  With my insulated pants, I would need to align the pants perfectly, then fully zip each side. The zippers were small enough that I needed to remove my gloves and I usually struggled for about 5 minutes before I was fully dressed. With the down skirt, I am able to wear the running tights as a baselayer, and the skirt has a single, easy-to-thread zipper.

The Bliss

The down skirt came with me on every snowshoeing trip this year.  It was perfect to quickly throw on at the top of the route.  It traps the heat quickly and adds an extra layer of insulation if I decide to sit on the snow.  Often, I kept the skirt on as we descended, as it is usually cooler going downhill. I purchased the Marmot Pip model (based entirely on what was at a REI garage sale for cheap…).  At 8.3 oz it is lighter than my insulated pants, and the 700 fill power is very cozy.  I have found is less compressible than other down items in my gear closet, but fits comfortably in my pack. This model is a little longer than others, and the shorter skirts are often lighter.

Now that is early season backpacking, I still find myself reaching for my down skirt. The overnight temperature has been about 32 F, and the down skirt has been cozy to wear around camp.  I wear it to sleep at night inside my sleeping bag and it provides insulation on my hips, which are often cold.

I have also worn it to dinner and bars on the way home from snowshoeing.  My running tights are, well, tight and in family restaurants, it is nice to throw a little something on top of my athletic gear.  I take comfort in knowing that I brought the down skirt up a mountain before it came into the lodge.

The Unfortunate Fashion Truth

I know, I look insufferable.

It must be addressed that I look slightly ridiculous.  I feel like a badass in running tights on a snowy trail.  I can see my muscles strain through the compression gear as I propel myself up a steep bank.  With my spandex layers, I am working hard to succeed in a difficult landscape and persevering to accomplish my goals.  I am the ultimate weekend snow warrior.

Wow, what a badass.

A strong woman in pants! I don’t need a useless feminine skirt in the wilderness!

When I am wearing the down skirt, I feel like a gnome that has gone for a jaunt in the garden.   I want to explain to everyone I see that even though I am wearing a skirt, I am still a mountaineer.  I didn’t have one too many hot chocolates in the lodge and accidentally wander onto a snowfield, or throw money at REI until they gave me every ridiculous piece of their gear on the shelves (ok the last one might be true…).

The truth is, there are many issues with the glorification of masculinity and extreme fitness apparel in outdoor recreation. Wearing a down skirt does not make me weak, inadequate, or suggest that I do not belong in the mountains.  It simply makes me warm. Learning to crush the section of my head that worries about appearances in the backcountry is a constant battle, but a worthy one, I think.

Garden gnome somehow found herself at an alpine lake.

Of course, the history of badass women mountaineering in skirts completely abolishes that idea that wearing feminine clothes makes one less worthy of outdoor achievement.  A great number of accomplished mountaineers in Washington regularly climbed alpine routes in skirts or skirt-like pantaloons.  Perusing the University of Washington’s Mountaineers photograph collection, I saw women from the early 1900’s on difficult expeditions on Mount Rainier and Olympic mountains.  These women often wore clothing that weighed 20 pounds, with only an alpenstock for aid.

Of course, women wore skirts to conform to Victorian standards of propriety, rather than a convenient method of staying warm.  Nonetheless, early female mountaineers reached incredible heights.  The women whose pictures I saw looked like they belonged in the mountains, faces exuberant, without embarrassment or imposter syndrome.  With their feats as inspiration, I wear my down skirt with nothing but pride.

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Mountaineers on the summit of Mt. Seattle, 1913

Mountaineers near Mt. Index,

Images courtesy of University of Washington Mountaineers photograph collection. 

  Convinced? Here are a few models to get you started.

Smartwool Corbet 120 | Synthetic |$120.00 | synthetic allows for insulation even when wet, merino-lined front panel, 2-way zipper. 

SKHOOP Mini Down Skirt | 600 fill down | $149.00 | windproof, water-resistant, 2-way zipper on the right side and venting zipper on the left side, plus 2 zipped pockets. Available year-round and available in longer length.

Dynafit TLT Primaloft Insulated Skirt | Synthetic Primaloft | $120.00 | Stretchy side panels, full-length zip, and side partial zip. 

 Marmot Banff | 700 fill down | $120.00 | Similar to the Pip model, the Banff model is longer with slightly larger baffles and an extra hand pocket. 

My Down Skirt is Surprisingly Awesome I am officially a down skirt convert. Years were spent scoffing at down skirts on clearance racks.