#i think this is why nandor looked Like That when guillermo was about to come out too

[ineffably-human]

The day Guillermo slaughtered a theatre of vampires, Nandor looked up and actually saw him. 'My name is Guillermo de la Cruz' burned like a silver knife in his brain. And that's the day Nandor started rooting for him.

Making him a bodyguard, insistent that's what he was. Watching him so carefully. 'Push back. Break the rules. Talk about yourself. I can't do it for you. If I do it for you then you've already lost.' Guillermo slapped him and his eyes lit up. Guillermo fought him, and he only wanted more. Guillermo said 'I can kill you whenever I want, I choose not to,' and it's what he was waiting for.

Nandor stands at the train station, feeling awake for the first time in months as he considers all the variables. The normal bite won't be enough, not for a Van Helsing. He'll have to drink someone right away, just to be sure. Will it feel the same for him, to hunt a human the way Nandor's watched him hunt a vampire? Maybe if they do it together. Maybe there's a lot that Guillermo can do very easily, if they do it together. Maybe there's a lot Nandor can do, very easily, if-

(...he's not coming. Well, familiars have balked at less.)

--

It's such a genuine surprise when he reappears. Why everything happened doesn't matter, exactly; Guillermo doesn't fight to get any of it back. He's so angry, so ready to leave, and by all rights Nandor should let him. But all he can feel is the instinct to stop him. Perhaps if he has actual love in this house, something to fill the void... Maybe there's one more thing Guillermo can do for him before his exit.

It's a strange year. Guillermo is not in his service, so much as he's a friend charged with service. His mind is so pulled in different directions - raising the Colin-creature, helping at the club, buying his gaudy new clothes that aren't vampire-like at all. Talking on the phone, sometimes in the other language he speaks, sometimes in secret whispers Nandor doesn't try to figure out.

If Guillermo doesn't want him to know, then he doesn't. He can't begrudge him a life outside this house anymore. It's like Guillermo has remembered how to be human.

Maybe he has. Nandor takes him to fight, wants to see that fire in his eyes again, but Guillermo only wants peace. They never talk about him becoming a vampire. Guillermo doesn't ask once. At the wedding, Guillermo promises to always be there when Nandor is afraid. Nandor wonders what 'always' means to him.

When he meets Freddie, things click into place a bit. Nandor is happy for him, truly. Suspicious, of course - this is a stranger in their home, one who clearly doesn't know their secrets. But such a kind and engaging stranger. And intriguing, like a little secret corner of Guillermo Nandor has never been able to reach. Nandor has been so lonely lately, he keeps getting everything he wants and yet he's lonelier than ever -

Nandor fucks up. Nandor fixes. Or does his best, anyway.

Guillermo goes to London one day, comes home with a look in his eyes like something broken. They don't talk about it.

Guillermo is back to dusting. He sits beside Nandor and smiles, placid and friendly. 'So, what's next?' But he doesn't ask. And Nandor can't ask it for him. That's not how this works.

--

And suddenly, Guillermo is a million miles away. Suddenly, Guillermo would rather be anywhere than with Nandor.

He talks about being a vampire for the first time in a year, but there's a strangeness to it. A wariness. When they laugh at the idea, he doesn't push back. There's no fire.

Something is wrong, honestly wrong, but Nandor can't bring himself to think about it seriously. Guillermo still runs from even the thought of their orgies. (So it can't be what he's thinking of, can it?) Their first big crisis as a household in a while, their bodyguard is nowhere to be found. (Is he a bodyguard anymore? A familiar? A lot more like Laszlo's familiar, these days...)

'I'm not going to be around forever.' Well, fine. He can survive that. He's survived far worse, and so has Guillermo.

And Guillermo is not just here right now, but is alive right now - wonderfully, blessedly alive - and Nandor won't be forced to think about his death for a while yet.

The one thing he knows for sure is that Guillermo would never do anything to hurt him, to hurt any of them. And maybe that's why it never worked out. You have to do so much more than survive, to be a vampire.

-- When everything that happened becomes clear, when his rage fades to anger fades to acceptance, there's still responsibility. Responsibility to his familiar, responsibility to his friend.

And when Guillermo's heart is too full, and spills over whatever bloodlust he had, Nandor wishes he were surprised. Guillermo has iron in him but it's been forged into a shield, after all this time. There are no little leftover bits Nandor might have helped him shape into a pair of fangs.

Guillermo can feed a family, or defend one, or defend himself. But he won't kill unless he has to, and his own survival - or his own happiness - is not a 'has to'. Fine. Guillermo has fought for him. Nandor can fight, too.

His own anger still needs a more constructive place to go. So he looks at Guillermo's wretched sire - who never even wanted to be a vampire, and then made a vampire so thoughtlessly. Who hasn't come to see Guillermo, who couldn't figure out how to help him, who doesn't even know that he's in pain.

Nandor drives a stake into the heart of a vampire. And it feels good.

Maybe now, he can also be angry at himself a little less.

[darkshrimpemotions]

Sometimes I remember everything season 5 gave us and I lose my mind all over again. Like:

Nandor thinking he forgot Guillermo’s birthday so he makes everyone go to dinner to celebrate and then buys Guillermo something he said he wanted to surprise him.

Nandor being extremely jealous of Guillermo’s time and attention.

More Nandor dick lore: not only has Guillermo seen it and given it his stamp of approval, re-designed it, and is all Nandor can think about when he uses it...Guillermo has also now circumcised it. 💀

Nandor going to space to impress Guillermo because he's jealous of all the time he's spending with Laszlo.

Nandor and Guillermo walking home together after the Pride Parade to find their housemates in the midst of an orgy, and Nandor inviting Guillermo to join.

Guillermo being a dad again.

Guillermo saying he loves Nandor the most.

Nandor once again trying to goad Guillermo into defending his importance to Nandor and being visibly taken aback and disappointed when Guillermo doesn't bite.

Nandor being all smitten and dreamy-eyed as he describes Guillermo slaughtering a theatre full of vampires for him like it's a fond memory.

Nandor begging the Baron to show mercy to Guillermo.

Nandor clutching at one of Guillermo’s sweaters like a security blanket and looking distraught at the thought of losing him.

Nandor falling to his knees, holding Guillermo's head so gently in his lap, stroking his hair, crying when he thought he was dead, and arguing that Guillermo was more than just a familiar to him.

Nandor staring sadly out his window wishing Guillermo well, thinking he's lost him forever.

Nandor's face and the way he says Guillermo’s name when Guillermo pops out of his coffin.

The fact that when Guillermo was in danger he ran to the safest place he knew, and it was NANDOR'S COFFIN.

Nandor having a card Guillermo gave him over a decade ago memorized word for word, proving once and for all that he has ALWAYS cared more for Guillermo than is considered seemly for a vampire, even from the very beginning.

Nandor declaring he knows Guillermo better than anyone.

Nandor calling Guillermo "good boy."

The tears in Guillermo’s eyes when he confesses what he did to Nandor, and how afraid he was of hurting him.

Nandor's look of absolute heartbreak when Guillermo confesses that he asked someone else to turn him.

The implications of "you could have asked me!" in the context of the fact that Guillermo hadn't actually brought up his turning to Nandor at all between 3x10 and 5x01 (the implication being if he HAD asked again, Nandor would have done it).

Guillermo finally admitting that being a vampire had become more about being closer to his found family than about vampirism itself for him.

Nandor knowing all along how to get Guillermo to come to him but not using it until he had decided not to kill him.

Nandor forgiving Guillermo for something considered utterly unforgivable, accepting what is considered a massive humiliation, and getting over it for Guillermo’s sake.

Yerno Nandor looking at Guillermo’s baby pictures with his mother-in-law.

Nandor putting his life in Guillermo’s hands and speaking to him in Farsi.

Guillermo instinctively hypnotizing his own mother to protect Nandor.

Nandor inviting Guillermo home with him and declaring he will live with them all as an equal.

Nandor knowing immediately why Guillermo wasn't a vampire, and how to fix it (implying he HAS thought of turning him).

Nandor being so excited at Guillermo’s transformation, quite literally happier than we've ever seen him.

Nandor looking out for Guillermo after his transformation and knowing something was wrong, then revealing he has always feared Guillermo would not thrive as a vampire (essentially reframing his whole attitude toward turning Guillermo all this time).

Nandor giving Guillermo a choice and another chance, creating a whole ceremony for him because he DOES know Guillermo, all while looking sad the entire time and utterly devastated when Guillermo chooses not to remain a vampire.

Nandor breaking the only real taboo for vampires in front of half a dozen witnesses for Guillermo’s sake.

Basically just...absolute confirmation that Nandor loves Guillermo back and has always cared about him.

[veryintricaterituals]

We need to talk about queer representation in What We Do In The Shadows

I'm just going to say it: for a show that claims to have great queer representation I sure haven't seen a gay couple in five seasons.

(The closest they've come is with Freddy and we all saw how that turned out)

Okay, I've been thinking about this for a while and I honestly don't love the discourse but fuck it. We need to talk about queer love and queer representation on wwdits and how it's not great.

Let me begin by saying that I love this show, I do, it's my favorite and I adore it and I am not going to stop watching it. But the internet holding it it as the be all, end all of queer representation needs to stop. We need to take off our heartshapped glasses for a second and think critically.

Now I'm not saying it's homophobic because it's clearly not, but a beacon of queer representation and love it is not.

Yes, it has its moments and when they come they are incredible (Guillermo's coming out episode my beloved). But if we stop and think about it for a second it becomes clear that same sex love in the show it's not treated with the same respect that straight love gets. And it's time to aknowledge that as a fandom.

It's 2023 and we don't need to be living off scraps or jokes made at our expense anymore. The times of Supernatural or Sherlock are done. But in wwdits we are, a lot of the time, the butt of the joke and not always in a good way. I'm begging you to think for a second about why the jokes are supposed to be funny, think of Laszlo and Nandor, or Laszlo and the Baron, or Nandor's guy wives... the joke IS that it's gay, there's nothing else.

And you know what? That could be FINE or it would be if they commited and treated gay love with a little bit of respect but they don't, not really. Show me queer love, stop just talking about it and SHOW it.

Or at the very least when you do show some semblance of it (looking at the season five finale, season three finale and a lot of other moments) don't immediately undermine it with articles about the power of friendship, it's the least you can do. We are just asking to be more than a joke.

It's like a reverse of what happened in Supernatural where after so many homophobic jokes it just turned kind of gay, it feels like after so many gay jokes with zero commitment behind them wwdits is starting to feel kind of hurtful.

I'm not saying they should have Nandor and Guillermo get together (though they should), I'm saying that after five seasons we should at the very least have seen a couple of the same sex treated with the same respect and love they've shown Laszlo and Nadja, Sean and Charmaine, or hell even Colin and Evie.

All I'm asking is for the show to make us more than just a joke or they're just going to end up circlying around and not looking great, and after five seasons it's starting to happen and I'm worried it's going to leave me with a bitter taste in my mouth by the end.

[barren-heart]

The Hidden Love Story of What We Do in the Shadows: How The Internet Fell in Love with Harvey Guillen’s Guillermo de la Cruz

I think it’s fair to call this show what it is: a comedy.

The actors have said it’s themselves: the show is 50% improv, 50% script. A lot of what we see is a brilliant collaboration of talent, writing, and the actors saying the funniest thing they can say about something in that moment.

According to Harvey Guillen, some scenes would last 30 minutes each if they didn’t cut it down. That improv is what makes the show what is it: the funniest show on television.

What’s interesting about this little Shit and Fart show (affectionate), is the heart of it all: Guillermo.

Originally the show was looking for an older man to play Nandor’s familiar. The character had worked for his master for 20 years, not 10 as we see in the pilot episode.

Harvey got an audition randomly. At a wine and cheese night of a friend’s, he was invited to audition for the part. It was random, but also, it was fate.

Let me explain.

Harvey Guillen auditioning for the role of Guillermo

(I actually have the full audition tape of Harvey’s if anyone’s interested.) Link below!

Harvey didn’t “fit the part” (Harvey’s words) whatsoever of this character and decided to dress himself to look older, putting on what he calls his Harry Potter glasses and parted his hair down the middle.

The Guillermo we see in the pilot was all Harvey’s idea of what that character should be and the costuming department just ran with it. It’s also fun to point out that to those who don’t know, Harvey created Guillermo’s last name even before he knew he’d play the show’s Vampire Slayer.

I mention this because I don’t think they (showrunner, producers,etc) expected Guillermo to become such a fan favorite. Which kinda explains why his character is the punching bag of season one and why it somewhat changes as seasons go by.

I mean, we don’t even see Guillermo in this season one poster (we don’t see Colin Robinson, either. But I feel like I could write an entirely other post about that character and why I think he’s genuinely the best and most consistently written character on the show. But I won’t right now).

I think they expected Guillermo to be a one-note side kick, which is fine. Many of Harvey’s previous roles were nearly background characters (think Benedict Pickwick in The Magicians).

But, Harvey’s take on the character coupled with his talent at being both comedic and dramatic really shined through. And I think that’s where you start to see that maybe they could do more with him than just being the funny guy in the background.

I also think that’s why you start to see some threading of a more serious plot when it comes to Guillermo’s storyline because of Harvey’s range.

Who would’ve known a funny bit like being a Van Helsing descent in a house full of vampires would get you compelling scenes like the familiar fight The Night Market, Nouveau Théâtre des Vampires, and the Nandor and Guillermo fight in The Portrait?

Harvey mentioned having to train for these and wanted to do his own stunts! And he does them well!

Did they imagine Guillermo being such a badass in the pilot? Probably not. But he is and people took to it. The serious fight scenes (even with bits of comedy filtered in) really stand out in their own as excellent action scenes.

Along with badass scenes, Harvey delivered compelling emotional scenes like Guillermo’s coming out (which Harvey actually cried in as well as other cast and crew, and they had to edit it to not make it too serious), the scene he left Nandor for Celeste, and many scenes in S5’s Exit Interview.

I also think they didn’t anticipate his chemistry with Kayvan Novak. It’s brought up a lot in interviews with them and everyone can tell that they genuinely are really good friends in real life, which makes acting together on screen that much better.

(Funny enough, he was supposed to do a chemistry read with Kayvan before shooting and wasn’t able to meet him until they were on set for the pilot. )

I think in some ways, even though the show wanted it to be a funny Gaston and Lefou type relationship, Kayvan and Harvey had undeniable chemistry you couldn’t deny.

And I think that began to grow with their character’s evolving relationship. From master and servant to friends to sometimes the show and network alluding to them being in a romance (Guillermo’s drunk love confession, Marwa liking what Nandor likes, the Network making videos about shipping Nandermo).

And even Paul Simms (the one who is being grilled for That’s His Boss quote), also said “Guillermo and Nandor is the greatest love story in modern television.”

So yeah, I think originally they started the show with the intention that it was supposed to be similar to the movie that shares its name. The Nandor/Guillermo drama of Shadows the TV show would be so out of place in the movie. The whole Guillermo vampire arc, if it was movie inspired, would not be as dramatic as they have made it in the show.

Looking back to the pilot, I can see that they really tried to make it as close to the source material as possible. But I think it took off in a direction that even the creators didn’t imagine it would go. Just a silly little comedy show about silly little vampires. And don’t get me wrong, it still definitely is.

But the show has evolved. And for better or worse, Nandor and Guillermo’s relationship will be one of the most compelling things about the show and I’m curious where they are going to take it now.

I guess this turned into a bit of an Harvey Guillen appreciation post and honestly, why not? Look at that adorable face.

[megaawkwardhuman]

OK SO HI long time no see (er post? or at least post like this)

my brain worms have been on and off for a bit but THE POSTER FOR SEASON 6 HAS GOT THEM ALL FIRED UP

so as I do when my brain is doing zoomies I'm gonna point at things!

right off the bat OMFG I LOVE THIS SO MUCH

like the vibes here are just *chef's kiss* good shit right there

I know it's just typical wwdits promo stuff that guillermo has a wtf is going on what did I just get dragged into face but in this context with everyone looks like enamored to some degree with the house is giving character discovered big bad thing/the reason why things are fucked energy

also just over all love how guillermo looks here (like slay you horrified king <3)

WHY IS THERE 5 BATS!?!?

like ok only 4 of the main 6 cast are currently able to turn into bats so like HMMM?

save me vampire guillermo endgame vampire guillermo endgame vampire guillermo endgame save me

part of me only thinks that the bat is only there cuz guillermo used to be a vampire and the farthest bat is him moving on from wanting to be a vampire

buuuuuut that's not as fun so LET ME DREAM

speaking of the bats the grouping of the bats are ALSO interesting

just saying IF the 5th bat is supposed to guillermo that means the 2 paired off bats are probably nandermo given how they tend to stick together (I mean they're literally RIGHT NEXT TO EACH OTHER in the poster)

now off the top of my head it could be referencing how nandor will be following guillermo as he tries to get a normal job or something like that next season (given that the lower of the 2 bats looks like they're going after the top bat who's going off somewhere away from the rest)

but come on we all know that we're low key hoping this means nandermo world trip part 2: it actually happens this time (like one bat is leading and the other is catching up)

if FOR SOME REASON isn't nandermo bats going off to do god knows what my only other theory is that it represents the guide and guillermo given that they're kinda outsiders?

eh still team nandermo bats

lighting go brrrr

that's it that's the comment

ok but like the house looks fucking evil here

I know they're prob going for a evil house on a hill/dracula's castle thing with that angle but with the way everyone is facing it and the way they all kinda look hypnotized by it the house ITSELF looks evil

the house is the real bad guy and controls everyone reveal next season!?!?! /j

and that's about all I have to word vomit for now

AHHHHHH CAN'T BELIEVE WE HAVE A FUCKING RELEASE DATE NOW

[harveyguilleniconodelamoda]

Costume Spotlight: Guillermo's Sweaters in Season 2

At long last, I'm returning to the sweater pile to do a deep dive on our favorite knit-clad vampire slayer, Guillermo de la Cruz. In season one, Guillermo wore sixteen different sweaters across the season's ten episodes. In my first post I did an overview of the different types of knits and some of the little character nods I noticed in the later episodes.

Guillermo wears fourteen different sweaters across season 2, with roughly half of those being new sweaters for the season--there's one I can't quite decide if it's a new sweater or the same one he wore in 1x02 to the city council meeting, but in different lighting. That being said, someone give me his thrifting skills (and storage skills)! This is also the season where he debuts his iconic slayer trench coat and stake bandolier, but I'll do a separate post on those.

Season two's sweaters are heavy on the Fair Isle knits and cardigans, with many appearances of a new fuzzy red striped cardigan that debuts in 2x01 (pictured above). I almost think of this as Guillermo's character development cardigan, because of when he wears it throughout the season:

2x01- Just before he slays his first vampire assassin of the season.

2x08 - When he tells Nandor about Celeste's offer and then leaves.

2x09 - Throughout the episode, where we see him taking a break for the first time and refusing to listen to Nadja trying to get him to end it early, when he finds a way out of the room of doors for himself, Nadja, and Colin Robinson, and when he comes up with a compromise to save Laszlo, Colin Robinson, and Nandor from the witches.

2x10 - At his mom's apartment when he's talking about why he left, and to the Theatre when he slays all the vampires and rescues Nandor, Laszlo, Nadja, and Colin Robinson.

He also debuts a fourth Coogi sweater in 2x01, this one a vertical striped pattern with dark navy and turquoise elements.

Yet another new addition to the sweater collection is this gorgeous brown and red Fair Isle v-neck pullover with a solid brown collar and cuffs. It's similar to a sweater he wears in season 1, but better fitted and with a nicer pattern.

Another noticeable new addition is this blue and gold Fair Isle v-neck from 2x06:

I want to see if there are more appearances of this one in later seasons, as it only appears in this one episode of season 2 as far as I can tell.

There's this geometric gray and black mosaic knit cardigan he wears in 2x07 to consider:

And of course, the iconic yellow cardigan and rainbow turtleneck combo from 2x08:

This sweater is such a departure from everything else he wears! So much brighter, while also being less dated. Most of Guillermo's sweaters (the fuzzy cardigan that screams 2013 aside) look like something from the 80s or 90s found in a vintage shop...or a grandparent's attic. This cardigan stands out as a very clearly modern take on a retro style (I'd say late 60s/early 70s), like something you'd get from ModCloth, and is a thinner material than most of his others as well.

Is he dressing to fit into his new household? Or is this the kind of thing Guillermo would rather wear, in an environment where he feels more comfortable and supported? We never see this sweater again, even as Guillermo gains more power and respect in Nandor's household, and we never see him wear anything like it again, either, so it's hard to say.

Lastly, there's this Intarsia knit cardigan in brown and green that appears for this hilarious brief moment in 2x10:

Season 1 Sweater Appearances

In addition to his new sweaters, Guillermo reprises several sweaters from season 1. His gray Fair Isle cardigan from 1x05 and 1x10:

This heavily textured Coogi cardigan from 1x06-1x08, as well as 1x10:

The first Coogi (or Coogi-esque) sweater from season 1, with the horizontal pattern and red accents:

The lovely bird-patterned Fair Isle from 1x02 that will continue to show up all the way through season 5, and even in a promo photo from season 6:

And this thing, which I still can't decide if it's a brand-new sweater in different lighting, or the sweater Guillermo wore to the city council meeting in 1x02:

I don't have a ton of information on knitting styles to include this time, but I do think it's interesting that Guillermo in this season wears some more vivid colors (the addition of more reds for him this season is especially intriguing), better fitting sweaters, and higher quality ones. While of course this could simply be due to a bigger budget for the show's sophomore season, I also think it's part of an ongoing evolution of Guillermo's style over the course of the show.

As he gains more confidence, it begins to show in his wardrobe. He even unbuttons that top button on his shirt a few times this season! And as he comes into his own more and more as a powerful vampire slayer, I think his clothes echo that as well.

What's your favorite season 2 Guillermo sweater? And would you be interested in a chart showing all the appearance of each sweater over the course of the show? Or is that just me.

[mothguillotine]

Is It Still Family Dinner If You Can't Eat?

When you wake up, the sun has just about gone down. Nandor is still sleeping, and during the night, you had moved to lay on top of his chest. You just lay there for a bit, enjoying the feeling of being pressed into Nandor. A few minutes later, you feel him starting to move. 

"Good evening," you tell Nandor, looking up at him resting your chin on your hands, "I didn't realize that you are a cuddler."

"Why would I not?" he asks you, furrowing his eyebrows.

"I don't know," you say, "not that I mind it."

You both lay on the bed for a while, talking, until you hear a commotion down the hall. At first, you think that luckily, it doesn't involve you until your door is thrown open. Standing on the other side is Guillermo, who looks shocked. 

"GUILLERMO!" You and Nandor yell at the same time. 

"AHHH!" Guillermo shouts and covers his eyes.

"Shut the door!" You yell at him, which he does quickly.

On the other side of the door, Guillermo is looking directly into the camera, and he looks traumatized.

_________________________________________

Downstairs Nadja and Laszlo are sitting down in front of the camera, and they look pleased. 

"Our plan, it finally worked." Nadja says smiling, "Our dear friends have finally fucked. After so many days of managing them they haven't been able to get their hands off each other."

They both stop for a moment and the sounds of moaning can be heard echoing from upstairs. 

"Unfortunately an unforeseen consequence of this has been the noise." Laszlo says, "It has been making my dear wife and I very horny." 

"I honestly don't know how much more I can take," she says, "you know what. I am done."

Nadja stands up and rips off her microphone. She leaves the room and Laszlo quickly takes off his own microphone as well. They both move up the stairs at a fast rate while the crew closely follows behind. 

When they approach the door the sounds of moaning become louder and louder. The crew, still filming, watch as Laszlo knocks on the door and the moaning suddenly stops. A few moments later Nandor is peeking out of the door. 

The crew is unable to hear anything said by the vampires but they continue to watch them. Nandor turns back into the room, presumably to tell you something, and then Nandor opens the door. Nadja and Laszlo move quickly into the room and the crew runs down the hall. When they get there they hear the moaning start back up with new voices.

_________________________________________

Later in the evening you and Nandor are sitting together on the sofa in front of the fireplace. You are both reading books that you found in the library. His arm is wrapped securely around you and is pulling you into him. The last few days have been spent together and honestly you are at the happiest you've ever been, the only thing that could make it better is having your best friend with you.

Over the last few days with Nandor you have been surprised with how much he's told you about his past. The stories range from twenty to six hundred years ago. He tells you about Al Qolnidar and his time as a general during the Ottoman Empire. 

You tell him about how you moved from the Midwest when you were nine and moved to Staten Island. The entire time you are talking he is fully invested in what you are saying. It's nice to actually be listened to by someone and you never expected that person to be Nandor. 

The one thing it felt like you didn't really talk about was what the thing between you was. It felt silly to call him your boyfriend, the man is over 600 years old and the term ‘boyfriend’ doesn't really fit him. You guys have fucked quite a few times and not once have you had a conversation about how you both feel. 

“Master,” Guillermo says standing in the doorway, “Laszlo wishes to see you in the front yard.”

“Coming, Guillermo.” he says back and stands up, “I will be right back, my dove.”

You stay sitting at the sofa and check your phone. Still nothing from Oscar, you honestly expected for him to understand what had happened but you were wrong. Over the past few days you have realized that if Oscar doesn’t want to be in your life anymore you should let him go, as much as you want him in your life. 

_________________________________________

Guillermo had been observing you over the last few days. He had noticed that while you were happy it was obvious something was bothering you. He knew what it was, given the amount you were checking your phone to see if Oscar had texted you back yet and honestly it was starting to concern him. Guillermo knew that the last thing you wanted to do was hurt Oscar and you did that, unfortunately. 

Guillermo felt as though if Oscar could see how much you were hurting over what happened, your relationship may be repaired. What he also knew is that if you found out what he was planning you would stop him and so would any of the vampires, given how negatively he reacted the other day. So he would have to do this in secret. Guillermo puts his plan into action. He knows he needs a reason to get out of the house covertly. He quickly asks around to see if anyone needs anything from the store. 

When he has his list of items that people need he exits the house. Outside Guillermo sees Nandor and Laszlo speaking with Sean on the front lawn. He just knows that this is gonna be tricky to get out of here without drawing attention to himself. He tries his hardest to sneak by unnoticed and stays in the shadows as much as possible while moving slowly. Unfortunately when Guillermo is nearly at the edge of the lawn he is seen by Sean.

“G-money,” Sean yells, “get over here. We were just talking about Nandors new girl, over here”

“Yes, we were just talking about my girlfriend.” Nandor tells him proudly when gets close to the fence.

“Your girlfriend?” Guillermo asks.

“Yes, Gizmo.” Laszlo says, “Keep up.”

“Okay, well anyways, Master, do you need anything from the store?” Guillermo asks, “Nadja asked me to-”

“Guillermo I am busy, please leave.” Nandor dismisses him.

“Okay master.” Guillermo says and turns to leave.

“Wait, Guillermo.” Nandor says and Guillermo is worried he is caught, “Can you get more candles? They make a very romantic atmosphere.”

“Of course, Master.” he tells him realizing that nobody actually cares if he leaves or not and this whole plan was a waste.

_________________________________________

After amusing Sean for a while and agreeing to go with him on a ‘guys trip’ the next weekend, Nandor was finally allowed to go back inside. Even though he longed to spend time with you he was forced to sit down in front of the camera.

“Over the past few weeks I have realized something. I think I have finally found the vampire I wish to spend the rest of my life with.” Nandor tells the camera, “After centuries of searching I am finally done.”

“I know that we have only been together for a short amount of time,” Nandor says, “but after being around for centuries I know when someone is right for me.” 

_________________________________________

When Guillermo arrives at Oscar's apartment he takes a few moments before going to knock. He gathers himself and thinks about what he will tell Oscar, but when he goes to the door and knocks it's like all of his brain cells leave. Then Oscar opens the door and Guillermo really can't think of anyone to say.

“Guillermo, right?” Oscar asks, “What are you doing here? Are you going to kidnap me again? Because if you are, I really would prefer it if you didn't.”

“No!” Guillermo says suddenly, “I just want to know if you want to see her?”

“Listen, I know that she is upset but I don't know if I can be around her anymore. I can barely wrap my mind around the whole ‘vampires are real’ thing and on top of that my best friend is one.” he tells Guillermo, “I love her so much but it's just too much for me right now.”

“Okay.” Guillermo says.

“Really?” he asks, “That simple? You aren't trying to trick me or anything, right?” 

“No, I just-” Guillermo starts, “I can get how it is a lot. I just wanted to tell you how bad she's been since you came over. She didn't tell me to come or anything. Honestly if she found out that I was here she might eviscerate me.”

“Well that would be a shame.” Oscar tells him, “You are too cute for disembowelment.” 

“I- um… what?” Guillermo asks but Oscar just smiles.

“Do you want to come in and have some tea or coffee? or maybe something stronger?” Oscar asks him.

“uhh- yeah. That would be nice.” Guillermo says.

_________________________________________

At home you are cleaning up a bit, while Guillermo is using the one picking up, whenever the mood strikes you get into the zone. You decided to clean up the foyer and turn on some tunes. 

Living with the vampires you do unfortunately the are absolutely fucking horrible at using techniques which means many things are out of date in the house. Such as instead of having a tv with spotify on it they had a historical record player. 

This just did not work for you, mostly because the only music they had is original recordings. So when you moved in you brought your record player, with a variety of albums. For this particular job you knew that you needed a fun record so you decided on ABBA.

“YOU ARE THE DANCING QUEEN. YOUNG AND SWEET. ONLY SEVENTEEN!!!” you sing.

“Are you singing a song from Mamma Mia?!” Nadja asks you excitedly.

“uh, yeah. I guess.” you tell her, “I mean this particular recording is the one from the band.”

“The band?” she asks.

“Well, yeah. The songs that they use in the movie are by the band ABBA.” You tell her.

“I want to hear more.” she tells you when the record comes to an end.

“Okay.” you tell her picking up your ABBA albums, “Pick out which one.”

You and Nadja spend time listening to your albums when you give up on cleaning, until Nandor and Laszlo return from outside. As soon as they get back in the house Lazslo and Nadja retire to their room. Which leaves you and Nandor by yourselves in the library.

“What took you so long?” you ask him when he sits on the couch.

“Sean, our neighbor, was very chatty tonight,” he tells you as you get pulled into his lap.

“Oh yeah? What did you talk about?” you ask, sinking into him while bringing your hand up to play with the ends of his hair.

“He wanted to talk about going up to his cabin next weekend for a ‘guys trip’.” he tells you, “he was also asking about you.”

“Oh, me?” You ask confused, “What did he say?”

“Well, he was just wondering who you were,” he tells you, “I just told him that you are my girlfriend.”

“Your girlfriend?” You ask him, “I'm your girlfriend?”

You were right when you had thought it to be weird to refer to Nandor as your ‘boyfriend’ but the look on his face when he called you his girlfriend was unrivaled. Over the last few days, you had wondered what exactly your relationship was, and the idea that he decided to say that you were boyfriend-girlfriend was kinda funny.

“Is that not what humans call the people they are courting?” he asks you confused.

“No. I mean, yeah, it is, but I mean, you just never asked me to be your girlfriend.” You tell him.

“Oh, I just thought that the ‘stuff’ that we were doing meant you wanted to be with me.” he tells you and he looks sad.

“No, I do.” you tell him, “I just want you to ask me.”

“Okay. Will you be my girlfriend?” Nandor asks you.

“Yes, of course I will.” you tell him and go to kiss him. Both of you stay on the sofa for a while, chatting and kissing. 

“Master!” Guillermo announces, “I'm back!”

“Oh, hey Guillermo,” you greet him when he enters the library, “Where did you go?”

“Oh, uh, just to the store.” he tells you, “Nadja needed some things.”

“Okay,” you say, “You found everything that you needed?”

“Oh yeah,” Guillermo says, “found it all.” 

“Okay?” you say, starting to get suspicious. Guillermo may be able to trick the rest of your housemates but you could tell something was up.

_________________________________________

Guillermo was starting to feel really bad about what he had done. At first he had focused on helping your and Oscar's relationship but after a few glasses of wine he had lost the point of the conversation. He wasn't quite sure at what point it had led to his bedroom but it did. 

Seeing you in the library had made him feel even more guilty than before. He wasn't supposed to be at Oscar's apartment much less fucking him. Guillermo honestly did know which one you would be more upset about. 

He knew that ‘that’ couldn't happen again. No matter how much he enjoyed spending time with Oscar or how he honestly didn't feel that bad, but he felt bad about not feeling bad. It was just very confusing.

So he went over again to tell Oscar face-to-face why the next morning. Which, in hindsight, was a bad idea, because it led Guillermo to not saying anything and instead being invited in yet again. 

This time though Guillermo loses track of time and when he finally looks at his phone he realizes it's nearly sunset. 

“Shit,” Guillermo says looking down at his phone and suddenly stands up, “I have to go. It's almost time for me to get them up.”

“Okay,” Oscar says to Guillermo, “here's my number, you know, to text or whatever.”

“Oh, yeah.” Guillermo says, smiling.

“Yeah.” Oscar says handing him a piece of paper, presumably with his number on it.

“Okay,” he says when he gets a notification from Uber that his ride is here, “I have to go but I'll text you, yeah?”

“Perfect,” Oscar says as they walk to the door, “I'll see you later, Guillermo.”

Guillermo gives him a thumbs up and Oscar closes the door.

“Why did I give him a thumbs up?” Guillermo asks himself, “That was so stupid.”

He gets back to the house just in time to wake you all up and start work for the day. His first order of business was to wake everyone up from their slumber. After that he collects the mail from outside. 

Recently Nadja has had a bit of an obsession with online shopping after you showed her and the state of the porch was proof of that. Many packages were stacked atop one another, most of them addressed to Nadja and some for you. The mail has a few things for Colin, a subscription called TopiaryMonthly for Laszlo, and a single letter addressed to you.

“Hey guys!” Guillermo calls, “The mail is here!”

“Coming!” Nadja vocalizes. 

Guillermo watches as Nadja runs down the hall excitedly with Dolly.

“I bought you so much, my lovely bitch.” Nadja tells herself.

“Oh!” Dolly shouts, “I am so excited!”

Nadja hurriedly rips open her packages leaving a massive mess of boxes, bubble wrap, and tissue paper, which he knows he has to clean up. You arrive to collect your packages soon after Nadja leaves the foyer. 

“Hey, which ones are mine?” You ask Guillermo.

“You have these three,” Guillermo tells you, handing the packages over, “and you have a letter.”

“Oh really?” You ask, “I haven't submitted my change of address form.”

You set your packages down, and Guillermo hands you the letter. When you take one glance at it, you know who it's from.

“Fuck.” you say exhaling. 

“What?” Guillermo asks you.

“It's from my family.” you tell him and he looks concerned.

_________________________________________

“I wouldn't say I have a bad relationship with my parents,” you tell the camera, “We just don't always get along. Like normal families, I mean they yell a lot. More than even around here.”

When Guillermo first handed you the letter, it took your breath away for a second. They shouldn't know where you are and how they found you. You have no idea. The letter basically said that if you didn't come home soon, they would come here, and that definitely would not be good.

“I don't know what to do.” You say, “I can't exactly say ‘hey, mom and dad. I'm a vampire now.’ I mean, that's crazy, but it's true.”

You still haven't told Nandor everything about you, especially not the fact that your parents are crazy. In this life, you wanted them to not be involved. After years and years of being controlled by them, you wouldn't do it anymore. Which is why you end up on the doorstep of the home you grew up in.

You hold up your hand to knock but can't bring yourself to do it. Before you can turn to leave, the door bursts open, and behind it is your mom.

“Hey, mom.” you say.

“Where the hell have you been?” your mom says.

“I was just, you know, around.” You cover.

“Around where?” she asks, “I haven't seen you in over a month and have gotten barely any texts. Nani thought you were dead.”

“Ma, I'm fine.” You tell her, “I was just busy.”

“Are you sure?” she asks, “You look skinny.”

“Mom, I'm fine.” You assure her.

“Okay,” she says, “Well come in. Are you waiting for an invitation?” 

When you walk into the house, it feels weird. A few months ago, when you had last seen the house, your life was so much different. Back then, you were more agreeable before you met Nadja, Laszlo, and Guillermo before Nador, when you were human still. 

But you aren't human anymore and this house feels almost claustrophobic. The smells and sounds are overwhelming to say the least. Living in the house you have grown accustomed to the noises and smells of the old home, but this is overwhelming.

“Just sit at the table sweetie,” your mom calls from the kitchen and you sit down in the dining room, “We will bring out dinner.”

The smell of the food in the kitchen is enough to make you nauseous and the sounds in the house that you had never noticed before, were starting to overwhelm you. And when your parents bring out the food to the table it gets significantly worse.

“So, how has my little girl been?” your dad asks you.

“Good,” you tell him simply, “How are you?”

“We are good.” he says.

“Good.” you tell him.

All of you stay silent for a while, which is very awkward. You push your food around with a fork and bring it up every so often to take faux-bites. 

“Do you want some to take home?” your mom asks.

“Uh, yeah,” you tell her, planning to give Guillermo them, “It will heat up good.”

Your mom stands up to get some tupperware for the food in the kitchen. 

“So, we need to talk to you about something,” your dad tells you, “It's very serious.”

“Okay?” you ask confused, “What is it?”

“Well this isn't going to be easy to hear,” your father starts, and you can't help but hope that your parents are finally getting a divorce, “We are moving back home.”

“Okay.” you tell him, “That's it? You and mom are moving back home?”

“Well, no.” he says, “You are coming too.”

“What do you mean I'm coming too?” you ask him, “My whole life is here. My friends are here.”

“Well we are a part of your life too.” your dad says, growing more frustrated, “You are coming with us.”

“No, I'm not,” you tell him standing up suddenly from the table, “I am a fucking adult! I can choose where I live and you can't do anything about it.”

You decided to forego the leftovers and just go back home to your family. Before your mom or dad can say anything else, you slam the front door. After traveling down the road a bit so you are out of your parents' sight, you transform into a bat.

_________________________________________

Back at home it's quiet, Guillermo is texting away with Oscar, Nadja and Laszlo are working on a new song, Nandor is reading a new book you ordered for him about Al Qolnidar, and Colin is doing whatever the hell Colin does. So when you come inside the foyer Guillermo sees you right away, looking upset.

“Are you okay?” Guillermo says when he stands up to help you with your coat and bag.

“Yeah, I just,” you start to say, “my parents are just annoying. They want me to move back to Michigan with them. Which I obviously can't do, not that I want to.”

“What are you gonna do?” Guillermo asks you softly.

“I don't know,” you say, as you fall back on one of the chairs in the entryway, “Just try to get them to leave without me and if that doesn't work then hypnotize them.”

“Hypnotize them to forget about you?” Guillermo asks you, “What if your family asks about you? Then what? They just don't know?”

“Well no that wouldn't work.” you tell him, “What if I hypnotized them into just leaving?”

“That could work.” he tells you.

“But that's like the last choice.” you tell him, “I don't want to hypnotize them.”

“Yeah, absolutely. Only if we have no other choice.” Guillermo promises.

<Previous Part/Next Part>

Masterlist

[cottoncandysprite]

I'm still thinking about the Freddie/Wellness Center parallels like. GOD. Strap in besties I told you I could write a whole thesis on these episodes

Their confrontations are framed almost the exact same, with Nandor and Guillermo on either side of the frame. The lighting also inverses each other (mostly teal light with orange on their faces in WC, mostly warm light with teal on their faces in Freddie). Even outside of the dialogue, the way the scenes are shot draw a direct parallel.

But then we get to what they're saying to each other. In both cases, one has crossed a boundary and inserted themselves in the other's life when they didn’t want them to. But while it's easier to defend Guillermo's actions than Nandor's because it's more obvious that he's doing it to protect Nandor (and Nandor's were arguably more fucked up), the situations are way more similar than we give them credit:

Neither Nandor or Guillermo knew the "danger" of the situations they inserted themselves into when they did

They both were acting selfishly under the impression of selflessness. Guillermo didn't know it was a cult, he just wanted Nandor back with him. Nandor obviously just wanted to be with Freddie, but didn't take the more "cruel" route as to not hurt Guillermo

On the other hand, both Nandor and Guillermo thought the other was taking away something/someone that made them "happy" and were rightfully standing up for themselves

Unfortunately, in both cases, they were wrong about what was actually best for them (the cult was a cult, and Freddie was an egotistical cheater) even if they were right in the moment

But even with how similar they are, a few differences stand out. In the Wellness Center, they are sitting side by side, and after a brief moment of tension, they're not looking each other in the eye. Nandor is looking at Guillermo, trying to get through to him, but Guillermo is looking away and likewise not listening. But in Freddie, they're staring directly at each other, and you can see that Guillermo is actually getting through to Nandor. It's a turning point, moreso than the WC scene. As much as we all hate Nandor for what he does, Nandor says sorry, but Guillermo never did.

Also, I mentioned the lighting earlier, but that shows a subtle shift too. While in WC the orange is on both of their faces, showing more equality in their arguments as both are somewhat in the right, in Freddie the teal lighting only reaches Guillermo, implying that he is more in the right than Nandor. Yes I know I'm probably reaching with this but come on

I love that this parallel exists, not just for the angst, but for the way it makes us reexamine Guillermo's motivations and actions in a moment where we were all rooting for him. He's not perfect, in many ways he's also very toxic. Not as much as Nandor, sure, and he ended up being right, but at least Nandor apologized instead of putting Guillermo in a cage. They're more similar than we sometimes want to think about, because as the human in the cast and the one with less power (on paper at least) in the relationship, we want to relate to him. We want to side with him when he and Nandor clash. But should we?

As well, Freddie as an episode recontextualizes Nandor's motivations. Yes, what he did was extremely dumb and cruel and he shouldn't have done it, but his thought process is so skewed that, from his POV, he was doing his best in the situation. And again, he apologized, genuinely, and worked to at least try and fix it for probably the first time in 14 years. The only other times we've seen him even somewhat listen and say sorry to Guillermo were when Guillermo left and he couldn't function without him, and then it was only to get him to come back to work. Freddie stuck with me because it looked like he actually meant it. He listened. He just fucked up so bad that Guillermo justifiably couldn't forgive him.

Anyway I could talk for hours about why Freddie is a great episode actually but also I don't like thinking about what happened to Marwa for too long and I have actual essays to write

[rosewaterraindrops]

Nandermo Blocking and Season Finales

In past seasons, people more knowledgeable than me have written meta on the way Nandor and Guillermo are positioned at different levels in relation to one another, and I found it super interesting! Every previous season finale has left us with a very specific image of Nandermo that we've carried with us to speculate about what their relationship will be like in the next season. So I wanted to do an analysis on Nandermo's relative levels/blocking in the two-part finale of S5 and see how it compares to previous season finales.

Here’s a rundown of the previous season finales. 

S1 (top left): This one is sending mixed signals. Guillermo is looking down at Nandor, but it’s in an act of servitude. Nandor’s scolding Guillermo, thinking he’s the one in charge, and he has no idea that Guillermo is beginning to discover his vampire-killing powers. 

S2 (top right): Guillermo is elevated, looking down at all four vampires, and this time he’s very clearly the one in charge. Nandor is literally tied up and helpless and forced to confront how powerful Guillermo really is - and we know that Nandor defends him and respects his power in S3.

S3 (middle row): This time, Guillermo is looking down at Nandor, who’s kneeling on the ground, and they’re both happy about it. Guillermo has just passed Nandor’s “test” and they’re about to embark on their journey, which will end with Guillermo becoming a vampire. Nandor even happily agrees to take Guillermo’s bag to the train station. This is the most equal we’ve ever seen them be (up to that moment).

S4 (bottom right and left): They’re on the same level, both sitting down in chairs, and I don’t think either one of them is fully clear on where their relationship currently stands. Guillermo slips back into his familiar role after Freddie is gone, but something feels off. They don't even appear in a frame together, which is why I had to get two different screenshots. It’s not very companionable, it’s awkward, and it sets up a tense dynamic in S5.

By and large, these finale images have given us hope that Nandor and Guillermo will be on more even footing in the following season. The blocking never reinforces Guillermo as a servant, but rather elevates him in relation to Nandor and aligns with each finale’s sense of anticipation - how will the two of them respond to the latest change in their power dynamic? How will Guillermo assert himself further next season, and how will Nandor react?

That brings us to the end of S5. We get some really pivotal moments in which the dynamic is shifting yet again, starting with the scene in S5E9 in which Nandor has found out about Guillermo’s turning.

I think they made a deliberate choice to have the cages be elevated here. They could have made it so that the Guide and Guillermo are looking down at the prisoners somehow. But instead, even from his cage, Nandor is the one fully looking down at Guillermo. It’s emphasizing the emotion of the current moment: Nandor is angry and ready to enact his revenge on Guillermo for his “betrayal”, and Guillermo is full of regret. 

Then in S5E10, they reconcile, Nandor has Guillermo drink human blood, and we get this moment.

Guillermo literally rises up to be above Nandor as he embraces his vampirism, and Nandor is looking on with wonder. It’s reminiscent of the S3 finale, in which Nandor was happy to be looking up at Guillermo - and that time, Nandor had just promised to make Guillermo a vampire. When it comes down to it, Nandor wants Guillermo to embrace power and vampirism, and when Guillermo takes joy in his power, Nandor does too. 

So what’s the last Nandermo image we’re left with until S6? It’s this:

We have never, not once, had a season finale that ended with Nandor looking down at Guillermo - until now. Their dynamic has been constantly shifting ever since S1, but the consistent thread has been that Guillermo gains power and confidence, while Nandor gains more respect for Guillermo as a companion and a warrior.

But now? Guillermo has just rejected power, rejected vampirism, in favor of being human, and seconds later he’s on his knees, looking up at Nandor, being ordered by Nandor to clean up Derek’s corpse. Nandor isn’t surprised or awed, he’s not happy, he’s not confused or pensive - he’s just sympathetic and probably very disappointed. He likes when Guillermo embraces power and Guillermo just did the exact opposite of that. This is a clear image of a servant and his master.

I’m sure this isn’t a full regression to their S1 dynamic, and I assume the show will find a way to make it new and interesting. But this is a striking last image of Nandermo that we’re left with until the next season, and when compared to the previous finale images of Nandermo, it really stands out in an unsettling way. Let’s hope that in S6, Guillermo doesn’t take too long to embrace power again - because we know that that’s what he and Nandor really want.

[cookinguptales]

some feelings about wwdits under a cut, for negativity

WWDITS... I don't know. I don't think I've found the writing entirely fulfilling for a while now. s4 had its problems, but s5 was... let's just say not nearly as funny or cohesive as I would've liked, and the characterization has been... wandering, to put it kindly. Seeing it end now feels a little less like losing my favorite show and a little more like stopping it before things really start to spiral.

I remember someone asked me once post-s3 what (if anything) would make me stop watching the show, and I said Guillermo leaving for good or the characters becoming less supernatural. (i.e. Nandor becoming human for good or something.) I really hate shows where the characters become "normal" as a happy ending, so that's really my nightmare scenario. I'm not exaggerating when I say I think I'd literally rather the characters die than lose the spark that makes them interesting.

Honestly, I feel like that's probably a lot of what's made it hard for me to move forward with writing fic for wwdits after the s5 finale. It felt not only OOC for Guillermo but just... such a boring direction to take it. I feel like there were so many ways they could have made non-vampire Guillermo interesting and IC and they just. did not do that. Instead they ignored a lot of previous canon in order to cancel out an entire season while also trying to make us believe that Guillermo choosing humanity is a happy and fulfilling ending for anyone.

And when you look at characters like Laszlo... like they keep giving him plot lines that go absolutely nowhere. The poignancy of his adventures in fatherhood and his depression over losing his child were basically nowhere to be seen in s5. (I kept expecting them to tie it back to his loss over Baby Colin, like he was making Guillermo his new project because he wasn't coping well with losing his son, but they never really went there.) And then they have him doing all of these experiments in s5 that don't really amount to anything other than making it canon that he can't even remember what happened in s1.

(Or... the writers can't, at least...)

I don't know. When none of the plot lines they write are given weight, it's hard for me to give them weight. If none of the characters' choices matter because they'll just be reset anyway, why do I care about their choices? If entire plot lines are just going to go absolutely nowhere (when they're given endings at all) why should I get invested in them?

They set up a lot of interesting themes about found family, the supernatural world as a haven for those who are queer or otherwise socially othered, etc. and then had Guillermo outright choose the human world and his human family over the found family they'd been setting up for five seasons. Having Guillermo be okay with killing vampires but not humans (which... again, makes no sense with his behavior towards humans in the past, but I digress) basically explicitly tells us that he sees vampire life as lesser than human life and like ????? then how are we supposed to interpret the relationships and themes you've spent all this time building???

When you have Guillermo coming out as being gay and also wanting to be a vampire in the same breath and then have him reject that world, when you give these interviews talking about how making Guillermo and Nandor have [gay] sex would lessen their relationship... I don't know! It almost feels like they can't even keep track of their own themes and really do not care if they shit on the audience that's loyally followed them even through some really questionable writing decisions!

I guess at this point, I only worry that they really do see becoming human and leaving the supernatural world as being a happy ending for all these characters. Are they going to make the other vampires human, too? Are they going to have Guillermo leave for good and choose the human world?

Like it's literally my nightmare scenario. lmao.

I guess I just feel like I've been cutting wwdits a lot of slack because I assumed that the writers were going somewhere really interesting with these seemingly incomprehensible choices, but now that I've realized that they're really just... not great writing choices...

It'll be easier to let go, I guess. I don't have nearly the same emotional connection to this show that I did even six months ago, much less a year and a half ago. If you told me even a year ago that my reaction to my favorite show's cancellation would be "...oh..." I wouldn't have believed you. But. I guess here we are.

I keep trying to make myself feel the same love for this show that I did during the first three, three and a half seasons, and I'm just not sure I can do it. I've been going around in circles over this for months now, but I just feel kind of hollow when I reach for the joy that this show used to inspire in me. And now that I know it's ending soon, I guess my mind is just kind of going "well, I guess it'll all be over with soon, one way or another, and I'll finally be able to choose a way to feel about it all."

I think... honestly, I think the only way I can be happy writing fic going forward is if I write fic that actively ignores a lot of the canon developments. It's literally too fucking difficult to eke out coherent characterization from what they've been putting out lately, and maybe it would feel more fun and less like homework if I just stopped trying.

I really, really hope that the last season of this show is beautiful and gorgeous and funny and makes me remember exactly what I love about it just in time to mourn it forever. I hope that I will happily be able to write fics incorporating every ounce of canon and feel fulfilled by that. But... honestly speaking, at this point I'm just hoping that the last season doesn't actively piss me off. lmao

¯\_(ツ)_/¯

[emmabirb8]

It is REALLY getting me that Guillermo is actively choosing this.

Because narratively speaking, I get it. I understand why Guillermo feels like he has to "say goodbye" to his mother and essentially leave his old human life behind as he transitions into a vampire. It's symbolic and metaphorical and literal all at once and makes for a very interesting plot point while also giving us a great look into the psyche of his character.

But logically? It doesn't make a whole lot of sense.

Logically, it would be relatively easy for him to figure out a way that works to have the best of both worlds if he wanted. For one thing, there's always hypnosis to fall back on if things really went down the tubes, but besides that, Guillermo is a MASTER MANIPULATOR. We know this. We have seen this. All he would really have to do is choose his actions very carefully and deliberately, and he'd be fine.

He could simply just make sure he visited at night, find clever ways to pretend he eats human food, strategically avoid mirrors, wear special protective layers that would allow him to display a crucifix if he wanted... etc etc.

Or better yet, he could just come clean about being a vampire, at least to his mother! It was clear from Pine Barrens last season that Silvia especially would accept Guillermo no matter what and would (at least eventually) be cool with the idea of vampires existing anyway. She was most definitely the least fazed when he initially revealed the truth to his family before Nadja hypnotized away the vampire-related bits. His Abuelita and extended family members would potentially be another story, but his mamá would handle it well, I think. (And if he was worried about her slipping up at any time, he could hypnotize away the urge and ability to tell anyone else the truth! It'd be that simple!)

But Guillermo is choosing this path.

He is choosing to shed his old life, his human life, because he has decided that no matter how much he loves his human family, his desire to live freely with his found family as his full authentic self with absolutely NO hangups or threads to hold him back (what he believes would hold him back) is more important.

And unfortunately, the process of coming to that final decision has cost him his relationship with his mother, who, I would say, is the most important non supernatural person in his entire life. His selfishness, self-centeredness, and pure unbridled obsession with and devotion to his vampire family and to Nandor in particular has essentially destroyed the ties that he could have kept to Silvia. It may have started as a subconscious thing, but at this point, there's no denying that he has made his choice.

It's an agonizing kind of choice, but he has convinced himself it's what he has to do.

And GOD if that isn't just the most deliciously interesting plunge into Guillermo's thought processes and rationalization the show has ever taken.

[jack-fruit]

Ok aside from the obvious “haha Nandor is a hypocrite and also still kind of a dick to Guillermo” joke I genuinely think the end credits movie date says a lot about how like. Genuinely comfortable Nandor feels around Guillermo yknow??

Cause when you are just starting out being friends with someone and you’re in that “get to know you” stage of a friendship, obviously your first instinct is to talk to them and get to know them. Typically in that stage, silences are awkward at best and nerve wracking at worst, so it makes sense Nandor wants to talk with Alexander. He wants to form this strong bond so he can show Guillermo how much he totally doesn’t miss him and in his desperation he obviously comes on a bit too strongly. Him getting a shit ton of popcorn, while also being funny, is another hint of this. Whether it be he bought it for Alexander to appease him or to just kind of give the illusion of “yes I am a human person enjoying a human film look I am eating this popcorn” is kinda up in the air, but I personally lean towards the second one. Either way though, the popcorn is ahem “purchased” in an attempt to appease.

In contrast though, when he’s with Guillermo Nandor is able to fully relax. He already knows Guillermo fairly well, so there’s no pressure to hurriedly try and get to know him and form a bond- the bond is already there. He doesn’t need to pretend to buy popcorn or pretend to eat it, Guillermo knows why he can’t. In this situation, where they’re already so close, it means silence between them is comfortable instead of nerve wracking, and that means Nandor can fully focus his attention on actually watching the movie. And of course, he never has a problem telling Guillermo when he does something he doesn’t like, so him telling him to shut up isn’t that surprising either. Still, not sure he would use that tone with a stranger he was attempting to befriend

Anyway I’m rotating it in my brain. I cannot wait for Nandor jealousy arc to really kick in

[godzillabreath]

wwdits s5 spoilers below

I was so deeply invested in season 3 of wwdits that every subsequent episode that releases just kind of makes me feel… sad? Nothing has since hit the high of Wellness Center and I don’t think anything will.

For me, that was the pinnacle of their storytelling because it combined humor with the genuine ways in which this dysfunctional group of people have come to care about each other. Nandor feels divorced from his humanity and is looking to find ways to regain that aspect of himself. Guillermo can’t understand because he’s fixated on becoming a vampire to fill the void inside himself where he feels self-conscious, overlooked, unimportant. It’s funny to see these genuine, emotional character moments butt heads with a vaporwave 80s aerobics cult. They expertly balanced character development that had been building throughout season 3 with a bonkers premise and it ended up very touching and very satisfying. And then, well. Season 4. It was frustrating, first of all, to see the climax of Season 3 completely swept aside in the first minute of the premiere. This season prioritized episodic, unserious episodes that had no lasting character growth, only to emphasize in the finale that nothing changes and nothing matters. You can’t make that your artistic statement for season 4 when you’ve shown your audience three seasons of dynamic relationships being built and reforged and changed in unique ways! Season 4 and even Season 5 continue to wipe the slate clean again and again. Hypnosis, Djinn wishes, other forms of deus ex machina utilized to undo everything magically and inorganically. There were no stakes for Colin’s death or rebirth, no lasting impact on the relationship between Laszlo and Colin from a season showcasing a very different dynamic between them. Nandor is petulant and rude to Guillermo in irritating ways, as if they had never built a tenuous respect and trust and eventually affection for one another. Does Guillermo care about his family, does he crave their approval, only to have him vaguely continue to push them away after what was supposed to be an emotional coming out episode? Why is Nadja appointed as a leader on the London council only to immediately abandon this position for a wanton night club idea? (Which is then abandoned again in favor of… I’m not really sure what her goals are this season? Vague mentions of a hex with unclear affect on her life.) The audience just has to sit with this continuous lack of narrative resolution.

And it sucks, man. I think it’s a mess. It’s unsatisfying. I see Season 5 trying to incorporate and juggle more plot-dense episodes and they end up feeling too long and weirdly overworked and like all of these ideas are coming too late to feel impactful.

I’ll say I really don’t like Guillermo becoming a vampire, or half-vampire or whatever is happening. I think it absolutely ruins his character arc of finding strength and value in being a human being—with kickass cool Van Helsing abilities even. It would have been way cooler to parallel Guillermo’s realization that he cherishes his own innate humanity with Nandor wanting to regain that humanity he felt he lost over centuries. At this point, I don’t understand what either of them want or need or feel or anything. And the rest of the cast feel like b-plot set dressing.

Well, that’s enough for now I guess. Every episode I just feel like… why did they write this this way. Of course, I’m sure every element of conflict will be magically undone and ironed smooth at the end of Season 5 as it always is and we’ll start season 6 with zero carryover or growth. Again.

[hubheb]

Let Guillermo fuck his boss 2023

(Rambling down below if you’re interested)

(Also just to add I’m all for ace Nandermo but like let him fuck his boss)

Also queer relationships aren’t “shallow” like some people suggest (looks directly at Paul Simms) and doesn’t have to be friends with benefits or one night stand situations (not that there’s anything wrong with those type of relationships).

On the topic of power imbalance we all know that Guillermo can kill Nandor and he nearly did a few times but stopped and forgave Nandor. Also he murdered a theatre hall worth of vampires and won duels against vampires so we all know that he his capable of doing so.

Other than that he his more like a baby sitter to the vampires because he is usually the one that fixes their mistakes and cleans up after their fuck ups.

There might only be one topic that can be discussed on power imbalance as far as I’m aware at this point and that is Guillermo’s desire to become a vampire and that was a big issue on the last season but Nandor is already using this against Guillermo and has been using it since he first employed Guillermo.

Okay so I talked about why Paul Simms is only chickening out on the but is this a new thing? I like this show truly but their depiction of queer relationships is not the best. Because when I think of queer relationships on WWDITS only two relationships come to my mind which is Nandor’s hook ups with Laszlo (which is used like a joke/shock factor at times) and Guillermo’s relationship with Freddie . Even though they do portray queer relationships we have yet to see the romantic part aside from sole attraction of a queer relationship on the show. The closest they have gotten to this was with Freddie and Guillermo but they only lasted a few episodes with Freddie cheating on Guillermo with his own clone in the end.

To conclude I think Paul Simms’ attitude/respond towards the question about Nandor and Guillermo’s relationship only shows why we haven’t gotten a queer relationship that’s not solely physical attraction and also lasted more than a couple episodes.

[megaawkwardhuman]

if you can't tell by my sudden increase in reblogs I FINALLY WAS ABLE TO WATCH THE FIRST TWO EPISODES OF SEASON 5!!!!!

within two episodes guillermo has been covered in blood twice 10/10 best season

OK TIME TO ACTUALLY GIVE MY THOUGHTS FEOJBWDIUW

note: I will try to keep my episode 1 and episode 2 thoughts together and I'll also try to keep them in the order they happen but overall it's just what I think about as I type

LOVE LOVE LOOOOOOOVE seeing them fuck with the whole this is a documentary thing

I wanna see guillermo lose his patience with the documentary crew and kill one of them at some point LMAOOOO

HOPEFULLY WE GET MORE DEREK (and by the looks of it we will)

THE VAMPIRE EYES OEIJ2HBIHJW2OHW0JDBEHFK DO2IPJEFBHKVJHIPJ

overall I'm curious to see how memo's transformation goes I wanna see how creative they get with the whole fucked up vampire thing

oh yeah and the way they're going about the whole guillermo being turned by derek not nandor thing reads like he cheated on him AND I'M NOT GOING TO BE OK WHEN NANDOR LEARNS ABOUT IT

NANDOR IS ACTUALLY TRYING TO DO THINGS FOR MEMO OJIQNBDIJBEIHBWIUQD THE ONE FUCKING SEASON WHERE GUILLERMO IS GOING TO HAVE TO AVOID HIM FOR BOTH OF THEIR SAKE 😭😭😭😭😭😭😭

ok but like guillermo why didn't you think about the possibility that this would come and bite you in the ass? like if it was that easy MORE FAMILIARS WOULD LEAVE THEIR MASTERS??!?!

glad that at least ONE vampire feels that something is up with guillermo

ok but we can all agree that laszlo is lying to nandor when he says he's not great at hypnotism right?

OK SO GUILLERMO'S GLASSES MIGHT DIE ONCE ALL OF THIS OVER (at least I'll have a season to morn)

sean you hot mess never change

POOR GUIDE JUST WANTS FRIENDS :(((

ok I'm assuming the good act nadja is going to do has to do with the doll and the whole body swap plot we're going to get

NADJA IS SO HAPPY GOING THROUGH LITTLE ANITPAXOS OFKENOEIJNJINIEEBHBE

nandor trying to fit in is a fucking moooooood

THEM STEALING A FUCKING COP CAR IHBIDCWBUIBWIEJOFJBOJBOE

sean and his gang are just a bunch of high schoolers in adult clothes and I love that for them

and finally the 2nd episode just ending with laszlo telling guillermo he's FUCKING HAD ME DYING FOR A SOLID MINUTE

overall great start to the season

I'm scared for my blorbos

and if guillermo isn't covered in blood at least once per episode I'll be disappointed /j

[gerardwaygirlmoments]

What We Do In the Shadows: The Musical Episode

I saw someone on Reddit say that the show would have officially jumped the shark if there was a musical episode, so here's my idea of how that would go!

It takes place a little before the s5 finale, so Nadja still thinks she has to be nice to people to break her hex. She already took Guillermo to the vet, so she's helping him on an errand run this time. At the moment, he is delivering Nandor and Lazlo's sperm to the witches, as is the deal they have made. As they arrive, the witches have just got back from seeing Wicked on Broadway for the umpteenth time. Nadja hasn't heard of it, so when they tell her, her inheritance of Lazlo's distaste for musicals and her own hatred of witches merge and she laughs at the idea of anyone enjoying singing sympathetic witches. The witches are offended and cast a spell on her and Guillermo, teleporting them to a demiplane where they can be taught a lesson. Since Guillermo was holding Lazlo and Nandor's sperm, they teleport alongside them. Colin Robinson also shows up, which confuses the others at first before he explains he was jealous of Lazlo and Nandor for being considered more vampire than him and the witches not wanting his sperm so he snuck some in when no one was looking, which wasn't difficult with how hot Lazlo and Nandor's are to look at (Lazlo concurs that "The old chap and I truly do have some magnificent spunk, wouldn't you say, my dahling?" Nadja agrees about Lazlo's but refuses to believe Nandor's could be all that great).

With that tangent over, the gang finds themselves in the dark behind a red curtain. Guillermo's been binging Twin Peaks recently, so he becomes afraid that the Black Lodge is real and they've been brought there. That's quickly disproven with no one talking backward, and their also confused why it’s even be called “the Black Lodge” if it’s red. The curtain rises and the gang learns that the witches will be magically forcing them to perform songs from various musicals to learn the True Meaning of Broadway. They hate it at first, but over time they come to like it. This is especially true of Colin, who at first thinks he can just use it to drain but then starts to recover his childhood enthusiasm for the art form.

Some musicals they could perform could include:

Phantom of the Opera (gothic romance for Lazlo/Nadja)

West Side Story (romance for Lazlo/Nadja)

Sweeney Todd (gothic romance for Lazlo/Nadja, see my in-depth post on this AU)

The King and I (Nandermo with emphasis on Nandor's old kingly role)

Oklahoma! (Cowboys for Jackie Daytona)

Guys and Dolls (idk too much about this one but it's a classic and there could be something with Dolly)

Cabaret (for the flamboyant queer sexy performance)

Hamilton (kinda obligatory at this point)

Fiddler on the Roof (this was brought in in the s4 finale, it should be expanded here)

Wicked (Nadja could finally come to appreciate witches and get her big Defying Gravity moment)

When everyone is having a great time and the moment has come for the grand finale, Lazlo leads the cast in a rousing rendition of a song "by none other than an old friend of mine, a true Chinese-American icon, who no doubt wrote this ballad about his treacherous journey from the Orient to these United States and this wonderous city of ours. Mr. Frank Sinatra!" It's New York, New York, and Lazlo mispronounces it in every incredible way possible, except for the final sweeping note.