#i think this is like. 4 months worth??? mayyyybe more????

[sarcasmic-skies]

[230914] philip morris usa owns my ass, exhibit b:

[overplannedbutunnamednpc]

2, 3, 18, 28, 35, for Kenny, Nyxi, Zephyr, and Zier in any combination

you asked 5 for 4 so i’m gonna answer one for each and then all four for my favorite question!

2. What is your character’s happiest memory? Kenny: now that we’ve finished the campaign, (this ask has been sitting in my drafts so long ldjjkfhjsjd) i def think he can count saving the forest and going against the ashen wolf as some of his happiest memories. LOVE this little boy. he’s proud of himself for helping, and being strong enough to actually go through with his breakup. even if ebbies death soured it, it’s still a bittersweet ending for him that he can’t compare to any other experience before. Nyxi: already answered Zephyr: actually getting into the academy because on GOD she didn’t actually really expect it to work dkfjsdhjf. like yeah she had forged her pedigree and whatever and her story made sense unless you actually looked into it, the best con she could play with nice paper and a plausibly pretty shirt. but she was scared as hell. she knew she couldn’t get in on her own merit and even if she did she’d be pitied, so this was a last-ditch effort and it fucking worked. zephyr still remembers the zing of happiness when her application was processed with barely a glance and she was handed her orientation materials. it’s the closest she’s ever gotten in her adult life to literally glowing with joy like she did as a child. Zier: oof. uhhhh. tbh probably realizing that he wasn’t imprisoned by the mindflayers any longer. like i do think i canonized that he doesn’t really remember what they did, and i’m not sure he even remembers a lot of how he escaped, honestly. but when his psi-damaged brain actually processed that he was safe, at least for now, and no one was coming after him, he was genuinely VERY happy.

3. What’s one skill your character really wishes they had? Zier: his perception skill is shit garbage doo doo and in the kind of place he lives, he REALLY wishes it were better. like. assassins can’t get you if you notice them coming, you know? or like they can but it’s harder for sure. now that he has sorc levels it’s much easier to protect himself, but quite frankly he sucked before that, rapier proficiency be damned. if that assassin had actually really truly tried to Get zier, he’d probably be dead. i think zier just kinda wants Power and not to Suck at Things.

18. Does your character believe the ends justify the means? No matter who they have to step on to reach their goals? Zephyr: yes and no?? i think zephyr does have lines that she won’t cross because she’s not a freak. like she won’t like kill randos cuz she’s not played by a murderhettie weirdo. BUT. sometimes, like. sometimes its between “kill this possessed person who technically isn’t in control of themself but also is gonna kill a town” and “spare this rando even though theyre innocent but they’ll kill a town” and zephyr isn’t gonna feel bad about that. sometimes randos die. that’s fine! shes not really gonna lose sleep over shit like that.

28. When your character was younger, how did they picture themselves growing up? Does it differ from how they really turned out? Nyxi: nyxi had noooooo idea. she just got bored often. i don’t think she considered adventuring much if at all, just kind of was like “what if i learn Everything All The Time”. she didn’t consider like. becoming a tutor either. i think mayyyybe she considered being like a librarian or something? but honestly she just liked Learning. and became a lore bard about it with half proficiency in Everything because she fucks Hard. all that said, i think little nyxi kid would be happy to hear about nyxi being an adventurer, though nyxi as a grownup would for sure both make the stories more and less interesting if she told herself about them. three months of travel could go into.... three sessions worth of stuff, whatever a session is. but the dragon “fight”? owo.

35. Speaking of items, what is their most prized possession? If they have one that is. Kenny: gotta look at his character sheet just a sec. okay so he doesn’t have a lot??? most of his shit was just kinda scrounged from his burned down village. his only magic item is the nest charm. and i think he likes that. they got it pretty early in the adventure and it’s magic and special and they didn’t use it much but it was SPECIAL. idk if he prized it necessarily, but he did know it was magic and special.

[junker-town]

Tiger Woods did not win The Open but his Sunday was a triumph

It feels like Tiger Woods is going to win again, and that feeling alone is the great achievement of the final stage of his career.

A defining trait of the first decade of Tiger Woods’ career is that he took situations that felt like they needed a miracle and made them inevitable. This happened time and again and without fail. This ball is in a funky lie on the side of bunker and needs to fly 200 yards to get to the green? That seems impossible but it’s definitely happening. This putt from 40 feet is like a 1-in-20 chance but it’s definitely going in to force a playoff. These situations ranged from specific shots to entire rounds to entire months, and Tiger just overwhelmed the odds with an inevitability that never quite computed.

After the last five years of back surgeries, golf embarrassments and personal embarrassments, it seemed likely last summer that Tiger would never play competitive golf again. The thought that he would win again was a hopelessly romantic notion. The thought that he would win a major again was the province of only the most delusional and scary Tiger-fanboy corners of the Internet.

We overhype and over-critique everything related to Woods. Trying to seriously frame an accomplishment or failure in the world of Tiger, which has a 20-year library of overhype and overreaction, is fraught with pitfalls. Tiger left without the Claret Jug on Sunday. In a prior act of his career, that would be a failure. Now? The experience of the day, the solo lead on the back nine of a major, is a triumph.

These last five years of injuries and ignominy were an inexorable plunge on the way to forced retirement and disappearance from public life. A year ago, the proper position was that it would take a miracle for Tiger to win again. It now feels inevitable that he’s going to win again, maybe as soon as next week at Firestone. I don’t know that it’s going to happen, but it feels like it will. And Tiger just getting us back to that feeling is one of the great achievements of his career.

Here are five more thoughts on Tiger’s Sunday at the Open.

1. I think Tiger set out the template for how he’s going to try and do this going forward. It’s far different than how he won his first 14 majors and also a sign that greatest golf mind ever has been re-activated.

It was fascinating to hear him say he was trying to “build his way” into the championship. When he was 30, he’d grab control of a major over the first two days, hold a nice cushion, and spend the weekend slowly bleeding out the rest of the field. He’s never won a major coming from behind, but in all likelihood, that’s what he’s going to have to do to get one in this late stage of his career. There’s too much talent in the game now and Tiger is not capable of dominating a major like used to.

This week he hung back for two days, then got super aggressive in the middle of his Saturday round to charge into contention, and started Sunday letting the leaders fall apart ahead of him. It worked for 64 holes.

2. In the moment, Tiger’s round was a fun Sunday high. All the soaring words about how great it was to have him leading on Sunday of a major again were appropriate, even in the overwrought world of Tiger. After coming down from the high though, it also feels appropriate to acknowledge that Tiger’s still not fully there on the closing stretches of tournaments.

The intervening injuries and miserable play of the last five years obscured the fact that this was also mayyyybe kinda sort of a problem back in 2013 when he was healthy and generally playing well, as he did this week. It’s really been an issue throughout the post-hydrant era (Alan Shipnuck’s term), certainly at the majors.

Golf Channel’s postgame show, Live From The Open, heaped praise on how Tiger swung and looked on Sunday. But they also entered a few things into evidence to support the argument that he is still having trouble closing. Brandel Chamblee said he hit five or six fairways on every nine this week, until the final nine, when he hit just one. He’s also made a whole bunch of messes all season on the final 9 of 72 holes. There was that ball he pumped out-of-bounds at Bay Hill. And the water balls at The Players.

Here’s a graphic from the segment, which I think is worth watching for even the most ardent Tiger truthers.

This is not just to pour cold water on a great day. On balance, Tiger’s Open, and his entire season, is an amazing accomplishment. But once he had the solo lead and we got to the back nine, the charge went off the rails with a 3-over stretch in two holes. It’s worth acknowledging that recent history as you examine if and when and where Tiger can win again.

3. I am going to detour into the feelings zone so if it gets a little too treacly for you, feel free to hop off and meet us up at the next stop. I won’t be offended.

The odds are, you will never be able to do a thing as well as all of these pro golfers do their one thing. Some fly around the world in private jets. They make great money playing a game. It’s not a relatable existence. But most of them, even the richest and most talented, have a relatable tentacle of some sort.

Tiger Woods is not one. He’s been groomed in a bubble to be a golfer since he was a toddler. His social life was abnormal or nonexistent. Then he became the most famous athlete in the world and it became even more abnormal, and shielded. Tiger is an ultra-famous automaton that doesn’t seem relatable in any way.

My five-year-old is starting to watch pro golf, pick up some of the names, and get into it a little bit. He watched Sunday and when I put him to bed, he exclaimed, “Hey did you know Tiger Woods is a dad and a golfer?” He was so excited to tell me this and discover it on Sunday when he saw Tiger with his kids after the round.

Tiger-as-dad is the most relatable part of the 14-time major winner. In his post-round press conference, talking about his kids and putting on that Sunday show for them, was the most emotional I can recall seeing him since he won his last Open. That was 2006, his first major after his dad’s death, and he burst into tears on his caddie’s shoulder. At this press conference, he had to stop, his eyes got a little watery, he gulped multiple times, and he had to stop as he pushed out his thoughts.

“I told them I tried,” he said about meeting his kids on the 18th green. “I know that they know how much this championship means to me and how much it feels good to be back playing again. It’s so special to have them aware because I’ve won a lot of golf tournaments in my career but they don’t remember any of them. For them to understand, what I was doing early in my career, the only thing they’ve seen are my struggles.”

This is a variation of what Tim Rosaforte relayed before the round and what Tiger told us last November, when he said his kids have only known him as a “YouTube golfer.” Watching him get emotional about his kids was relatable. That stated reward of being able to show out for them feels genuine, and motivating.

4. We’re off the saccharine stuff and on to an important investigation that the R&A, and really the entire country of Scotland, must commence at once, if they haven’t already. Have we ferreted out who shouted from the corporate chalets in the middle of Tiger’s back swing on the 18th tee? We can track down anything with today’s technology. I’m assuming we can isolate at least which corporation had that specific chalet. My money would be on a little outfit out of Austria, Red Bull GmbH, and I’d expect nothing but the harshest sanctions.

5. Tiger keeps repeating that this year is a “gift” and a blessing. He said the thought of even playing in the British Open, let alone leading on a Sunday, seemed unlikely to him at the end of 2017, as he waited to see if he’d ever be able to take full golf swings again.

Golf was in a fine spot with so many young superstars. The game is as deep as its ever been. The Tiger era was an anomaly you can’t replicate. Those TV ratings are not coming back and it’s futile to try and force it with this next generation of stars. But the gift, for that next generation and us, is that we now have a competitive Tiger actually joining the battle in a real way.

With Tiger back playing well, some of the young stars are more candid about just how uncompetitive he was the last few years. Dustin Johnson, Rickie Fowler, and Justin Thomas, who played with him off-camera down in South Florida, have all hinted at it with some gentle “yeahhhhh it wasn’t very good” comments. They have said they wanted the “real” Tiger back on a leaderboard so they could face him.

Now they’re getting it. We had Jordan Spieth, Rory McIlroy, and Tiger Woods all on one leaderboard on Sunday. That is a gift, y’all. The younger players seem to know it, too. Jack Nicklaus would always talk about how he’d look at a leaderboard and only pick one or two players (and sometimes none) that really worried him and he felt he needed to beat. McIlroy said he now throws Tiger in with the DJs, Spieths, JTs et al as one of the real contenders he looks for on a leaderboard. Spieth was grinning as talked a discussion he had with his caddie as they looked up at the leaderboard and saw Tiger coming at them. That is very cool.

Those are two already Hall-of-Famers, 15 to 20 years younger than Tiger, relishing the experience of Sunday almost as much as the fans watching from home. Tiger coming back and being competitive in any context is an incredible story. The cross-generational battles it might yield, however, should not be an overlooked side effect. Players like Spieth and Rory make the Tiger comeback even more appealing, positioning him as this old man underdog,

We may never get Sunday at the Open again. That may be Tiger’s last, best chance at a major before some other injury creeps in or his game recedes or the younger players just run away from him. But it’s unlikely. It seems like we’re going to get Tiger in contention again with some consistency. Tiger has turned what a year ago felt like a fantasy — real, competitive golf, Sunday back nine major leads — into a feeling of inevitability. Whether he wins another major or not, in the context of this stage of his career, for that reason alone, he’s back.