#i think this is kinda important though
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So I have been flip-flopping on if I want to give my opinion on the fandom and anya's pregnancy
I, as my own human being never ever wants to be pregnant and for many reasons
(Like feeling like it'd be gross)
So this isn't me being "All women must have babies"
Just to get that out there
This is a very serious topic, but I feel like we are treating it like the end of the world
I personally think if Anya was on earth, she'd have gotten an abortion
She isn't, though, so she either decides like some real people decide and raise the rape baby or give it up for adoption
Anya killed herself because she wanted control of her life after months of it not being her life.
I like kid fics which is why I like the art and fics of her raising the baby
I would like to see more issues with her keeping the baby, but so far, I have seen one fic with it.
Now if I was ever to write a post canon happier ending then I would have her give it up for adoption
She doesn't have the funds to care for herself, let alone a baby.
Also, this feels related, but I feel weird about how people are treating a miscarriage
Like she can feel peace at it cause she doesn't have to think about it
However, I still think having a miscarriage would be traumatizing depending on how far along she is
People are just treating it as a fix it when it so many things could go wrong
We don't 100% know what Anya would have done, but it isn't wrong for some people to want to see a scenario where she keeps the baby, gives them up for adoption, anything in-between
I also think calling it misogyny feels weird when as again real people have kept their rape babies
It's not even peaceful because there is still trauma and when the baby finds out later in life it hurts
I don't think it's a happy ending
It is a ending however
Here are some videos I watched a couple months ago
youtube
youtube
They aren't the spokesperson for every person but still real people's stories
#mouthwashing#tw rape#well talks of it#cw pregnancy#Youtube#not very neat as I was just typing whatever popped into my head#so sorry fort that#i think this is kinda important though#im also not joking when I say pregnancy scares and disgusts me#adding this tag to say you can be uncomfortable however#mouthwashing meta#mouthwashing anya
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ultimately i think my insistence on aro positivity honestly is as much a political stance as a personal one.
when i say aro positivity is crucial and that i dislike doomer-ist posts that express sentiments like 'I hate being aro so much I wish I was dead insteadā it's not because I donāt think there can and should be a space for negativity and acknowledging self-hate, or the many ways being aromantic can really suck sometimes. i find that to be very important!
that being said. there is smth here about how self-hate posts are sometimes just arophobia that we inflict on ourselves. and when we put that out into the ether it (intentionally or not) can become arophobia that we inflict on other members of the community. i think there absolutely needs to be a place for negativity and the expression of anger and frustration and self loathing even - these are all good things to talk about because these are things that we experience. that being said, it can also be genuinely upsetting and triggering to people to have what is essentially arophobia shown to them and then have that be validated by other aspec people. your personal thoughts can affect your wider community on a level you may not anticipate. and i understand it i truly do! it took me so long to be able to recover from accepting being aroace - it threw my entire world off kilter and made me question everything about my place in the world.
but my insistence on aro joy and positivity is because ultimately i do believe that building is at the core essence of it all. that ultimately discussions and the purpose of community should be about construction, not destruction. and this is both a personal and a political stance. talking about how much you hate yourself and cultivating online discussions/spaces where negativity about aspec identity is the main and only theme is destructive - if thatās where we let the conversation end. these thoughts can and should be used as a vehicle to look for a path forward!
joy and positivity create a space where the focus can become on forging a path forward, on construction, on community building instead of tearing ourselves and others down with negative thoughts. itās not productive or healthy when it stops at a place of negativity - it becomes actively destructive to the essence of community.
and i do think that this is especially poignant considering the fact that being any kind of queer, but especially aromantic (and/or asexual) means forging a path for yourself and making your own happiness where there is no obvious way forward. our communities exist mostly online (right now, anyway), there is little recognition of our existence in the real world, the effects of amatonormativity are both pervasive and actively dehumanising, and there are legal, economic and social structures in place actively making our lives more difficult. yes that all sucks! itās good to acknowledge that. we need to in order to change it. but more importantly, thatās not the end. we are still here and our happiness, our future is for us to determine. even if we canāt change the laws or society, loving yourself and understanding aromanticism as a political identity (as well as personal), as a radical worldview, and as a protest against amatonormativity is essential for both community and personal well being. the personal is political.
tldr. i guess my point is that as a community, we should focus on building, improving, and nurturing ourselves and each other (construction) as opposed to destruction. we should recognise aromanticism and asexuality as political identities as well as personal ones and rely on community and self-love in the absence of anything else as a form of protest and political power. destruction (the recognition of everything that is wrong) is essential as a starting point - but where do we go from there? we rebuild.
#aromantic#aro positivity#aspec#aroace#aro#aromantic joy#arospec#when i saw its important to 'love' yourself - pls understand i am in no way trying to exclude loveless aros from this#that was just the easiest way to express what i meant! when i say 'love' i mean positivity/respect/happiness. etc. i just used that word bc#it works for ME which is why i said it. but feel free to replace it with whatever works for you! <2#also sorry if not everything im saying makes total sense i tried my best#this is something ive been thinking about for a while and have been struggling to articulate#i maybe should have read some theory for this abt community building but im too tired + overwhelmed w school reading right now so sorry.#if anyone has additions on that front though please do add them#also ngl im kinda scared to post this. i hope i explained what i mean well enough. like i get wanting to vent and express self hate BUT.#there is nuance to this and it is not unilaterally healthy i think. also i dont see any other online community fostering the normalisation#of selfhate the way the aspec one does! which makes me feel weird abt it especially.#anyway. this is basically my personal philosophy towards aromanticism#mossy posts#āļø
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Average transformers g1 episode:
Megatron is attempting to black out the entire sky across a hundred mile radius and funnel all the sunlight into one, concentrated solar death ray to target a heavy duty solar panel he's having soundwave and the cassetticons build in order to convert it to energon. Then he plans to hit the autobot base with the death ray just for funsies. Starscream plans to push Megatron directly into the death ray, also just for funsies.
Optimus sends Wheeljack and Spike to deal with it, along with two bots you're pretty sure have not been in this show before this point, but you're kind of past asking how many of these fuckers were on the ark offscreen when it crashed. One of them has the worst fake Canadian accent you have ever heard, and the other's name sounds inexplicably dirty.
Starscream tries to get Megatron to stand in the spot he told Skywarp and Ramjet to direct the death ray, but is interrupted when Rumble asks why Starscream stuck him with extra work (a task Megatron assigned specifically to Starscream). This vexes Megatron. The autobots show up and try to figure out what the point of the blacked out sky is while Starscream attempts to talk his way out of it. Then the death ray goes off two feet away from Megatron, which only pisses him off further.
The Canadian bot yells "AH BINARY-BEAVERS!!" because the death ray caught him off guard and completely gives away the bots' position. Soundwave immediately fires on them. Gratuitous robot violence ensues. Spike is generally useless and tries chucking rocks at Rumble. Megatron is too busy trying to almost-murder Starscream to bother with the autobots and just lets Soundwave handle it.
Probably-an-innuendo-name-bot is luckily a flier and takes the chance to see what's blocking the sun now that their cover's blown anyway. He gets up there and the seekers are sticking tinfoil on the clouds to make the tops reflective. The writers are really just hoping you don't think too hard about it.
Skywarp starts firing on dirty-name and calls him a nerd. Dirty-name takes evasive action. Skywarp runs out of ammo and starts just chucking tin foil at him. Dirty-name calls him dumb and says his processor is made of spare toaster parts. Then he crash lands and canada-bot asks if dirty-name's wings are spare toaster parts as well. Wheeljack yells that they'll all be spare toaster parts if they don't focus on the decepticons. The death ray goes off again and barely misses the autobots. Wheeljack corrects himself to Melted spare toaster parts.
Dirty-name gives Wheeljack the rundown on the tinfoil clouds so he can figure out a way to get rid of them while Canada-bot fights Soundwave and the cassettes in the background. Spike is kind of helping too sort of almost. Those rocks hes chucking sure are damaging. Ravage gets straight up drop kicked. It cuts back to Wheeljack whipping up a good old fashioned Deviceā¢ļø.
Starscream flies up past the tinfoil barrier while Megatron shoots at him. All the holes he's shooting in the blackout barrier are just making more, slightly shittier death rays and the main one is losing concentration. One of them hits Megatron right in the optic and he keels over with an over the top screech. Starscream descends, breaking another hole in the tinfoil to see a golden opportunity.
"MEGATRON HAS BEEN BLINDED!!! I, STARSCREAM AM NOW YOUR LEADER!!!"
Wheeljack finishes his Deviceā¢ļø: A grenade that makes tinfoil entirely invisible, thus rendering the whole weapon unusable. The writers are hungover, please do not think about it too hard. Pretty please. Dirty-name doesn't know if he can throw it into one of the holes in the barrier on his own since he can't fly in robot mode and he cant throw in altmode. Spike offers to get on his back and throw it in for him if he can get close enough. And he's just SO good at throwing things. The other two agree he's their best shot, they're so happy spike is around, couldn't do it without him.
Starscream is hovering in the air as he gives his Decepticon Leader Acceptance Speech he's prepared for this very occasion, golden light streaming in from the him-shaped hole in the barrier. Dirty-name and spike zip past him and spike makes the best goddamn throw of his life. Before starscream can properly question the Fucking Audacity of these autobots interrupting him while he's trying to have a moment, the invisible explosion goes off that the animators are just happy they don't have to put that much effort into drawing. Starscream gets knocked out of the air and crashes directly onto Megatron. This vexes Megatron.
Sky's normal again. Don't worry that there's still tinfoil there, don't even fuckin worry about it dude. Spike and Dirty-name touch back down. Round of applause for spike for throwing super good. Wheeljack comments that he's just happy it blew up the way it was supposed to. Cue uncomfortably long laughing. Megatron manages to roll starscream off him and calls for a retreat.
Back at the decepticon base, Megatron has an eyepatch and is skulking. Starscream yaps about how it makes him look like a proper tyrant, brooding and battle scarred, and, dare he say, darkly handsome? This vexes Megatron.
#maccadam#transformers#g1#understand that every time i say 'this vexes megatron' you are meant to read it as [angry incoherent frank welker noises]#this is not a spike hate post i just think its very funny how they try really really hard to make him feel like an important teammate#and often kind of fail at it because hes still sort of Just Some Guy#megatron#starscream#skywarp#wheeljack#spike witwicky#soundwave#rumble#ramjet#optimus prime#though those two only really got mentions#ravage#g1 is a DEEPLY silly show#ive only seen about a dozen episodes of g1 but this is kinda the formula for nearly all of them so far#would not have it any other way
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long month
#everyone misses the january safe room dialog where noir and oracle talk about how they can't forgive crow#it's important to me though <3 i think more of my favs should fight so i can feel some kinda way about it#persona 5#persona 5 royal#p5r#p5r spoilers#ren amamiya#akira kurusu#haru okumura#kasumi yoshizawa#sumire yoshizawa#goro akechi#art
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WHO IS THIS PINK HAIR GENTLEMAN YOU JUST POSTED? HES SO PRETTY???
he's Hayate from Ride Kamens! š¦© he is my bird son a very silly guy who's part of a superhero (well...hero-ish) group trying to take down a cult, although his real passion is lattes. also, he is very pink!
(the fancy outfit was just for a game event, alas, although I spent way too much time grinding to get the pink variant so now it is mine forever, mwahaha. >:)
#ride kamens#joseimuke games are serious business#i think koki is my favorite of the wisdoms just because he's such a little freak#(leave him alone!!! he's just a goth who wants to cook!!!!!)#but hayate is SO pink and SO silly i can't help but love him#i mean yes it's a calculated silliness but he is also just kinda silly#look SOMEBODY'S gotta be the fun one here okay#time for another night of hayate carrying the entire lounge on his back#(wisdom has really grown on me...they were probably the group i was least interested in based on the promos)#(but now i'm like yes please more of koki pretending to poison everyone and nobody being entirely sure if he's serious or not)#(and i've got THEORIES about them!!!!)#(though i do need to catch up on event stories because they might drop some ridiculously huge reveal just at total random)#(AGAIN)#(AS IS THEIR WAY)#(takahashi no stop putting important lore in totally missable places i'm begging you)#(i mean i'm loving the drama. but also.)
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Currently thinking about Artemis's will in the code at the bottom of TLG and how it really kinda shows how strained his relationship with his dad still is. Everyone else gets something they're interested in or that Arty thinks they'd like (sound system for Juliet, frozen chicken for Mulch, ethical investments for his mother, etc) and yet for his father he leaves only bearer bonds, despite Artemis I trying to move away from a money-focused enterprise and lifestyle as of TEC. Not to mention it's Butler who would know how to disengage all the booby traps protecting said bearer bonds, further highlighting the difference in trust & familiarity Artemis has with everyone but his father.
#artemis fowl#is this comprehensible? idk#i just think they're a fun relationship to explore#and like i get the reasons why the relationship between the two artemises isn't really elaborated on in canon#and why it exists as it does in the first place but still#your son - whom you had a very businesslike relationship with in his young childhood - talks about money when you are returned to him#after being missing for nearly two years. you tell him you failed and want to be a better father and money isn't all that is important.#a handful of years pass and your son goes missing (and is presumed dead just like you were) and yet returns just like you did#barely a year later though while grappling with his actual death and corpse you find out that no actually nothing had changed#and he still went to his grave with the only bridge between the two of you being money with no interest in other hobbies#what a thing for Tim to experience#from an overthinking and reading too much into things perspective that's heartbreaking#we never hear about Juliet's interest in sports cars or pop music yet that was included in artemis's will for her#compared to like beckett who we know likes bugs and slime and how artemis put that in his will for him#so when we get snippets of Tim's other interests (solar powered planes or his bio-hybrid prosthetic or running marathons or whatever)#and yet Arty didn't include anything about those interests in his will for his father is kinda like... huh.#you never really did change your perception of what would make your dad happy did you#and that would've destroyed Tim
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what do you think toshiro's version of laios would've been like if he was still with the group during the shapeshifter shenanigans
there have been a few speculations in the tag and among the fans and they are all very good SO i am going to take this opportunity to insert a bit of my shipping bias as i like in my interpretation LMAO agdsfgdfgv
i noted that in actuality shuro seems to have a very good grasp on laios' character??? this is most obvious in the manga later on but even seeing how he criticises laios in their fight... iirc nothing he says is actually untrue or wildly exaggerated, and while he does express frustration over something he feels like laios Should have control over (noticing his cues), he is also aware that laios isnt being malicious and that hes Just Like That. what i mean to say is that while i think his version of laios may seem more pushy and in-your-face, i dont think it will be overwhelmingly so. if its post-fight, i think the idea of laios (and marcille) being willing to do anything to get falin back made a big impression on him, as well as the idea that they need to eat and rest in order to succeed in their goals, so those aspects would be prominent in his version. he seems pretty observant, so i think for the most part the physical traits would line up, but i think there would be specific things that stand out to him that would appear strangely striking on his version of laios (like. idk something about his eye colour or the subtle contrast of his armour and chainmail. he seems to have a weird sense of aesthetics if extras are anything to go by lmao). if hed actually been paying attention all those times laios had gone on about what the hell ever, then it might be even MORE hard to tell apart his version since he would also have a good grasp on what laios should know. so either his version of laios is pretty difficult to pick out, OR despite the character being accurate his appearance is too. stylised lmao (exaggerated features or something) OR!! they just get him to pull out his monster gourmet guide thing and are able to tell from there. iirc everyone was surprised at its appearance so its possible toshiro had also never seen it before
IN MY IMAGINARY SHIPPING SCENARIO............ lets say that his laios isnt able to be picked out immediately and that the monster guide thing also doesnt immediately occur to anyone. what the real laios Specifically notices is how close this other laios keeps getting to shuro. and hes like. ??? why is he getting so close to him, theres no way i get that close to him??? but no one else seems to be picking up on it as weird, so hes having a small crisis like do i REALLY get that close to him???? and now that hes on the outside he notices shuro subtly leaning away and he feels both a wave of shame and..... protectiveness??? (JEALOUSY??????) and he immediately steps in and grabs him like Hey!!! cant you see hes uncomfortable???? weve been through this already!!! and like. ok i cant believe im doing this again but i need to separate this into different endings
a) the whump route: i dont think shuro ever envisioned Actually Telling laios about his frustrations outside of being basically cornered into it. has he ever spoken up against what was expected of him?? has he ever been confrontational???? i think part of what held him back from expressing his frustrations, along with the cultural norms, could be fear of what the reaction would be. if he had done the same in any other aspect of his life (his family, his inheritance), i think he would expect disappointment, disapproval, more proof that he doesnt add up to expectation. to be honest i dont think he Truly believes that laios is the type of person to react like this. but it was strong enough to prevent him from acting and i think would be projected onto his image of laios. maybe fake!laios says something dismissive like Well if it really bothered him hed say something right? what, he cant even stand up for himself? cmon, shuro, prove that you cant handle it just like everything else. and thats pretty much the fastest giveaway that it isnt really laios. of course this would be a HUGE tonal departure from what the actual episode/chapter was, so:
b) the dumbass route: both laioses break into fisticuffs, and, yes.... barking. and so they speedrun the entire encounter as the shapeshifters true form appears and, after laios points out that thinking too hard about others versions of you can tear apart groups and peace of mind, they pointedly do not speak of it again. they think about it though. a LOT
c) the normal route: both laioses argue normal like and the group ends up being able to tell them apart because the fake laios goes on a little too long about how theyre all here for falin and everyones like ok its not like he DOESNT love his sister but.......... the rest of the scenario probably goes like canon, though then i would want to see what everyone Else thought of shuro
#if it had been pre-fight i think shuro must have seen him as someone who wasnt serious enough or was too directionless#it would definitely have been easier to pick him out i think....#i realise that very little actual shipping made it into the scenario. but i hope you see the vision#anon#ask#laishuro tag#if shuro actually ended up having to judge them i cant tell you how accurate he would have been#i DO know that compared to laios he would have been watching their social interactions more carefully#maybe he notices certain habits. i dont know if he would get all of them right though. he definitely gets laios right#long post#huge fucking post even. im so sorry. i hope this answered your question#this is actually shorter than it originally was i took off a paragraph#and.. shorter again because i just revised the final route LMAO#its kinda important that laios is the one that judges so i fixed it. originally i was like well what if shuro judged#which u can kind of tell from the tags above lmao#ok i give up i cant edit this anymore here u go <3
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Cauldron's big whopping mistake
I'm just saying, Cauldron could have really done something brilliant with Eden. Not to say the vials weren't a smart thing, they definitely were, but where was the pizzaz? The showmanship? If I had stumbled into the unknowable vast corpse of an alien god, you know what I would've done? Make a fucking restaurant.
You see, they were blessed with the first truly new meat to have come to earth in a very long time. Alien meat and crystal body structures. Imagine the crazy dishes they could have made. Like fuck dude I'd eat an alien if someone gave me the chance. They could have even kept the whole giving people powers schtick with it.
Breaker biscuits with shard dust in the flour they used, Tinker Truffles, Master Muffins, Brute Borscht, Stranger Schnitzel, the possibilities were goddamn endless. Make it a restaurant at the end of the universe type deal where it isn't in the universe proper like the actual Cauldron compound so they still only get the super rich patrons.
Number Man could handle the finances (obviously) and I do believe he would also be a good greeter and waiter, polite but never too friendly. Contessa in the kitchen making the food, Doctor Mother is that lady who asks how everything is going and you don't really know what her actual job is at the restaurant but it is clear she does something important, Custodian would buss the dishes, and Slug would be there too.
They could have had the best gimmick of any cape organization, but no. They just had to make entity girl corpse water in nerdy little vials. For all of that power, all of that planning, Cauldron lacked the vision to properly do something with it.
#I don't know exactly where the triumvirate would fit into the equation#I think maybe Eidolon and Alexandria would fit into the role of those part time workers who show up on the weekends#like they're important#but the operation would still run without them#while legend is that one guy who got unofficially fired a month ago but he keeps coming into work even though everybody including him knows#he doesn't work there anymore and its just getting weird at this point but its too awkward to ask him to leave so he just kinda mills aroun#wormblr#parahumans#worm web serial#cauldron#Doctor Mother#Contessa#number man
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landing
#i'd recommend zooming in bc the changes between panels are pretty subtle. they'll be easier to see on the cropped versions but i wanted to#include the whole thing too because i think it looks nice like that :)#opening up to yukina as the final hopeful yet unresolved part of hiei's arc of learning to trust and love and be loved by others is like.#aughh. fascinating choice anyway here's a take on how it'd go. from me. a sap#smth smth hiei letting his vulnerability show via the thing that unites them (bloodline via the hiruseki stone) which is inherently tied#to emotion and letting his feelings about her and his past show to someone. grahh#yyh#yu yu hakusho#yukina#hiei#skrunkart#also due to the title and the organization of this comic one could call this a landing strip#anyway um. posting more yyh but this time it's not funny at all oops. glad y'all liked the other one though jksdjfkjs#anyway yukina's important you should talk about her more#would also like to point out how in the final panel hiei doesn't actually touch her with his other arm. it's just resting on his hand#enclosing her but still kinda distant. he's still got some healing to do#edit argh i uploaded a slightly wrong version. fixed now. it just didn't have yukina's crying onomotopoeia#but i wanted them back in bc sound is so important to this one#WAIT PANELS SWAPPED. FIXED FR NOW#ANYWAY HIEI MY BELOVED MY EVERYTHING. LOVE THAT LITTLE GUY#also shoutout to devoted sibling characters. they really get it
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PART 1/2 - Storytime!
Once Upon A Timeā¦ Things were great! Until they werenāt. dun, dun, dun
Every great fictional world starts with a history lesson!
#Gerson is the resident Snowdin Shopkeeper!#i think this suits what im going for pretty wellā¦#not a big long con comic#more a series of short stories#kinda like how Handplates started out???#They all will and DO have important lore in em though#god its gonna be hell not talking about all the silly forshadowing and little details I put in ššš#watch me post these here then lore dump on my main acc#AUGH IVE GOT SO MUCH PLANNED!!!#hope you tune in to see the development of captain bone and his side kick *TRAUMA*#btw I ALSO PROMISE THIS IS NOT JUST A SKELEBRO THING#theyāre important#but so is basically every other main character!#theyll get their turn to BASK in the suspiciously *Delta Rune* shaped sun#storyshift#undertale storyshift au#undertale au#storyshift sk#Gerson Boom#Librarby#Short stories#short comics
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i am wide awake thinking about that post canon jb au again when I should be sleeping ā¦!!! such is the nature of the jbrainrotā¦
#the whole setting is jb hanging out in the rock post war#and tyrion became lord of the westerlands / the rock is his but heās off doing stuff in kingslanding and jaime is just filling in for him#atm . but after tyrion comes back his original plan WAS heāll get married to brienne right away and they can move back to tarth or be#travelling hedge knights together or whatever brienne wants to do heās down for it. but the important thing is that he wants to stay with#her .. so heās using the time they have together currently to court her bc she deserves that at least !!#so jaime goes off trying to court and woo brienne but she just thinks theyāre hanging out bc they got relatively close in the war#so jaime being touchy feely isnāt anything new. jaime making innuendos and being kinda flirty isnāt anything new either#but this time he means it LOL heās like I want to kiss you SO badly and brienne will be like lol silly jaime (:#I was also thinking theyād help rebuild lannisport just bc itās a time for healing now and it would be good for the people to get to know#jaime and the lannisters in general bc of how they would just used to sit high above the rock looking down on everyone#but now jaime is like. actively helping and being known and being with the people rather than just being that absent distant lord#also heās thinking he might as well try and foster some relationship with the commoners to his house bc itās for tyrion anyway#so heās off doing that and brienne is tagging along bc she does not want to go home yet#she wants to stay with him and sheās helping out as an excuse to stay a little longer but she doesnāt exactly want to leave him#but how do you tell someone that and ignore the big glaring part that sheās actually in love with him and the fact that they both survived#the war is getting her hopeful???? u want her to admit that?? like a normal person??? no..!!#so sheās just staying and helping out bc a) itās the sensible thing to do b) so she can bask on the sun that is Jaime Lannister#for like a few more days. weeks. maybe a month bc the weather is soooo bad in the stormlands rn šš³#anyway jb hanging out! and everything is going well and good but jaime is now getting popular w the people and heās also looking quite#rugged and handsome post war now that heās thirty flirty and thriving and he also has a new scar across his lip that makes his#smirks even more ! rogueish ā¦ ! and he looks quite nice with the greying hair š so now thereās gossips around him#not to mention heās single too and I think if you were one of the heroes who helped win the war theyāll forget the kingslaying#man with no honor business so lo and behold brienne eavesdrops a group of ladies bc sheās a chismosa at heart and theyāre talking about a#potential marriage for a lord lannister (!!!) and thereās going to be a big tourney held in Kingslanding for it (!!!)#and brienne remembers jaime mentioning the ought to go to Kingslanding in the next few weeks (!!!) and now sheās remembering jaime IS a#lord though not theee lord of the westerlands STILL a lord from one of the seven houses and heās single and very eligible for marriage rn#and now sheās realising everything is returning back the way it was before the war where society rules matters and she has her own role as#now the evenstar bc rip selwyn and jaime has his own role too and the court is a whole different battlefield#one that she isnāt equipped in and even though she had found some new confidence in herself bc killing a bunch of ice invisible zombies#with your own magic sword will do that for you she doesnāt think (and sheās being objective not negative) she stands a chance in THAT
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clarazz are so strong if i was (vaguely in love with and) slightly possessive of my best friend and the whole world was obsessed with him (like i was) id crash out š
#m!ik#ameri chima vine shiida mephisto? whos next henri?#not to mention eiko purson and lied š (who really i mention specifically bc they apparently kin him which is soo funny. also they make up#boku trio together! though if we were making a list list im not sure id add em a tier above any other misfitā¦)#not all romantic obsession to be perfectly clear^^ but they all wanna stand by irumas side the same š³#ameri and chima who want to stand by iruma romantically and academically/socially/powerwiseā¦#vine and eiko too but theyre like. gag characters ik weāre a comedy series but everything surronding these two is a bit so im#putting them in the same adjecent group of side characters who are crushing#shiida who wants to be his family#mephisto who wants to be his righthand man/royal advisor/wants to make him king#(again misfits in general but lied and purson i single out bc. boku trio / young king duo / music duo u get it#id group bachiko opera balam and maybe even kalego with these other guys butā¦ mmm#mmm bachiko certainly loves her student and opera/balam/kalego are all protective over iruma in their own ways id argue that when u compare#operas his family. bachiko is his master#kalego and balam are his teachers and his familiar/the first person he told his secret to#theyre all (seemingly) satisfied with their closeness with iruma/comfortable with their relationship as it is. theyre secure#the list above are all sorta Longing for something more#they want to be important to iruma#theyre not satisfied! they want more! and the story specifically centers around this idea for an arc or two or many#which btw i love i think iruma deserves having so many people who want to be close to him and who admire him#omg i forgot kirio HELLOā¦. hesā¦a little differently obsessed.#lets group him by himself but near the ameri/chima and eiko/vine section if u know what i mean#(note: its been a while since ive read chapters with shiida in em but from memory i do think she sees iruma as a little brother-#which is such a specific bond to long for; i think she wants to be someone he trusts first#followed by someone who can protect him followed by someone who he can learn from)#demons are selfish; i think its really sweet that theyre all pretty respectful of how iruma chooses to spend his time esp for being demons#cuz guess what! irumas selfish too. a true demon. he wants more and more and thats kinda what its all about#tldr everyone wants to stand next to iruma; clarazz (who stand next to him as his soulmates) have feelings about it lol#mairimashita! iruma kun#welcome to demon school iruma kun
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i've been trying to rationalize why clay terran's death hits me more than pretty much any other victim, even though the exact intricacies of his character are not the most plot relevant, and i think i finally got it. some of it's that he's the series' first new science freak in a while, yeah, but i think above that it's the emphasis on his ambition.
ace attorney does not like to kill real characters. it doesn't. referring to the main series for the rest of this post, we very rarely get to see a character for one section of one case before they die, with a few notable exceptions. as a result, because we don't get to know the characters very well, we as players are left to pick up the remnants based on the reactions of those still alive. ace attorney creates tragedy and emotional impact through the emotions of those who knew the victims. the victims' personas, therefore, are shaped by others' experiences with them: were they nice or mean, compassionate or abusive, nurturing or strict? while their relationships to others are crucial to their selves, they aren't everything about them.
clay is an astronaut. and unlike pretty much every victim in this series, that's not just his job, it's his life's purpose. the majority of clay's character is shaped through apollo's perception of him, sure, but what's also emphasized is his dream of being an astronaut. he wanted to be an astronaut since he was a child. he went to cosmos, became acquaintances and friends with the employees, surrounded himself with space. and he got the job. i know ace attorney ages can be taken with a grain of salt, but he was going to go into space at twenty-three, where the youngest astronaut in real life was twenty-five. any sizable gap in age below the norm tends to get lawyers deemed prodigies, excluding most themis students, so clay could probably be considered one as well. he was brilliant and remarkably hardworking and dedicated his entire life to reaching this goal, and he... didn't. he died with his dream ten steps in front of him.
when a character is an exception in one way, they tend to be in many, and they also tend to be defense attorneys, for some reason. the two victims with the most ambition at time of death, from my perspective, also have the most pre-death screen time: mia fey and dhurke sahdmadhi. their ambition may be on different scales, but they both died with tasks unfinished. mia had yet to reveal the corruption of redd white and the truth to dl-6, and dhurke had yet to restore stability to his country's legal system. they were both incredibly committed to fulfilling these goals and died while actively pursuing them.
the contrast between these two and clay is the individualism factor. dhurke wanted to see his revolution through, but he wanted a better future regardless of whether he was its leader or not. mia's connection was due to her familial involvement, but she also just wanted to uncover the truth behind redd white's obscurations and reduce corruption in the legal system. these goals are personal, but they aren't limited to them. they are goals that these two aspire to achieve, but they themselves don't need to be the ones to achieve them; in fact, they aren't. phoenix apprehends white, exposes manfred von karma, and discovers misty fey's disappearance for mia, while nahyuta and apollo work to reform khura'in's courts for dhurke. clay wanted to go to space. while a less noble goal than those i'm comparing him to, it's also more intrinsic to himself. he was supposed to be the one in space. there's no one to take over his dream because it's his alone. when he dies, that's it. it'll never be done. while his compassion definitely implies that he would be proud as long as sol starbuck touched the stars again, that isn't his dream. it's not the same as him doing it himself.
another similarity between mia and dhurke is that they are also the victims with the most post-death screen time. mia is channeled constantly through the first trilogy, to the point where she's almost as constant as any living character. dhurke lives for days, concealing his death while being channeled and not revealing the secret until almost the end of 6-5. as a result, these two get front row seats to their goals being fulfilled by their successors. mia's there to help phoenix take down white in 1-2, is certainly made aware of the results in 1-4, and even reunites with diego and re-defeats dahlia in 3-5. dhurke assists apollo leading up to the final court case, and his presence sticks with apollo as he develops his defense office.
clay does not get post-death screen time. he's only mentioned, like any other victim, after his death, and the large bulk of it is regarding the minutes before he's killed. not only is his dream unable to be fulfilled, but he wouldn't get the chance to see anything come of it, if that was even possible. he's not aura, staring out of a prison cell as part of her life's work flies off without her input. he's dead. no seeing the future, no willing on a successor to continue for him, no closure. dead and gone.
i'm not going to go crazy in depth right now, but, considering all major victims, the final truth of clay's death is done pretty poorly. as the successor to investigations, a duology that deals with international affairs in incredible detail, dual destinies is notably lacking. the organization behind the phantom isn't explored in the slightest; what was the point in making them a part of something bigger in the first place? there's no inciting event, no motive, not even a name, and from my point of view it just makes dual destinies feel unfinished, like there were plans that couldn't be made reality. there aren't any hints towards what the organization is doing, no legs to theorize on besides real life events, and it's not portrayed in a way that leaves it as a clever mystery. some international organization wants to sabotage the rocket launches for an unknown reason, so people die. that's all. clay dies due to reasons completely unknown to players, which is just so unsatisfying. not only does he not get closure, but we don't either. it makes me desperate for any new information to justify his death, to make his murder mean something, just like others who are integral to plot. this isn't entirely the point i was trying to make, but i think it's significant enough to mention. or maybe i just wanted to talk about it. not too sure.
clay terran suffers the awful fate of too much ambition and too little closure. this alone made his death have the greatest lasting impact on me. i'm not sure how it is for others, but the sadness of those left behind didn't usually trigger a large emotional reaction in me. however, the way clay's extraordinary dedication, implied intelligence, and nigh inevitable success were ripped from him right at the very end, with no possibility of a successor due to his own personal stake in the goal, made his death hit me through the heart like no other ace attorney victim. and also, just a little bit, because he's a new science freak.
#import em#ace attorney#aa5#clay terran#tempted to tag mia and dhurke bc i talk about them so much. i think i won't but i want to#long post#very long post my bad#fun fact i actually didn't like clay at all when i was actually playing dd#i was so pissed over the 3d models and the changed vas that i kinda hated everything#but i was also mad about how he was written (badly)#now he's my favorite though#i think it's pretty obvious that i'm obsessed with him based on the length of this alone#one essay down. many more to go#i haven't actually played any aa in ages so if any of this is super wrong lmk lol
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emo Nico x scene Will Solace...
#pjo#riordanverse#nico di angelo#will solace#solangelo#i need them to be cringe (affectionate) teenagers okay#give me Will with a hardcore homestuck phase and streaks in his hair dyed with kool-aid and striped armsocks#date night is Will teaching Nico how to make kandi bracelets#if youve been here awhile you may know i am a scene Jason believer and the same concepts apply here#listen i just think. emphasizing Nico being emo and giving him a scene boyfriend#its very important though that only certain riordanverse chars fit the vibe to be scene kids#like i dont think Percy would be as much as i want him to be#its antithetical to his character (internalized ableism/bad self-loathing/keeps his head down)#Will and Jason on the other hand would use XD unironically and have a total ball making sparkledog fursonas#Alex Fierro. DEFINITE scene kid. Magnus is already just kind of a little emo. Sadie is a definite yes. Carter. maybe.#i think he'd be adverse at first but kinda get into it casually yknow. he'd dig kandi bracelets at least.#probably get really into linguistic breakdown of xD rAnDoM speech just for fun#Walt no but he could. like. i think he'd be open to trying it. but its not his default state.#Zia. doesnt have the energy but i kinda wanna see it regardless. i think itd be fun for her but on her own she'd lean more goth#Leo? maybe. depends. he's more into doing stuff ironically. Piper. yes. but specifically as an f-you to conventional fashion#Reyna no. Frank maybe. Hazel yes. Thalia maybe. Annabeth hmm. maybe#i think thats all the main casts. Alabaster? YES and i wanna see it.#anyways thank you for coming to my emo x scene ted talk and character evaluations in the tags
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Small Collection of TDLOSK doodles ive accumulated over the course of my rewatch (mainly saiki)
Pt.1 one maybe if I decide to post more
#his limiters are like little alien antenna#to me UvU#... they do kinda look like bug antenna though so that's kinda funny#tdlosk#the disasterous life of saiki k#saiki kusuo#kokomi teruhashi#chiyo yumehara#kaidou shun#ts draws bb#kai wont shut up#Saiki posting#this doesnt show it but my favorite is Chiyo :3#she is so silly and no one ever talks about it#i headcanon she also has chuunibyo(?) syndrome but saiki only ever notices when it affects him#and since yumehara isnt letting any of her fantasies (outside of her crush) affect how she acts with people he just never noticed lol#or at least never thought it was important to point out#this isn't a kaidou x yume ship thing either i am the no.1 Yumehashi fan i just think she's silly like that#... i do headcanon her and kaidou being childhood friends who played pretend together though. they were both wolves and were a pack
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2024 reads / storygraph
Those Beyond The Wall
sequel/companion to The Space Between Worlds, set a decade later
character-focused sci-fi set in an area divided in two, the rich protected city on one side and everyone else in the post-apocalyptic desert
follows a woman who works under the Emperor in Ashtown, keeping the peace
when mangled bodies start showing up with seemingly no murderer, sheās tasked with finding the cause, and finds out that itās the result of corruption spanning both cities and multiple worlds
explores oppression and messy revolution, police violence and apartheid
bi & polyamorous MC
#Those Beyond The Wall#aroaessidhe 2024 reads#space between worlds sequel!!! honestly Iām not entirely sure how I feel about itā¦.. In general I enjoyed it and I think it had#a lot of important things to say but also maybe highlighted some weaknesses(?) in both books?#or - I guess just the fact that the sff stuff (which skews a little more magicy here) is kinda small scope relative to its potential#and more there to serve the plot and characters. Which actually maybe is the point. idk- there's def mixed reviews lol#it has a messy unlikable MC (like actually - when half the weak ass reviews are saying the MC is annoying you know they are Actually a#complex character) and some interesting relationship dynamics#it is pretty solidly a sequel - I wouldnt read this without reading TSBW#cara does show up in here& tbh her characterisation felt quite different to me? unsure how I feel about that? but maybe it's the biased POV#also to be clear: polyam MC; not a polyam romance or anything#(there's - kinda a romance? or various feelings floating around and she 'ends up' with someone. feel like i would have liked that to end#more subtley but that's probably my personal taste lol)#man some of the 1 star reviews of this are kinda.....just racist though. can we get some measured critique in here#as I said i am not entirely sure how I feel about it but not quite in a way I can articulate.... idk! i think it's worth the read tho#it's maybe one of those revolutions that feels solved a little too easily in the end - but then also is it solved or is it just that the#narrative has to end at a certain point
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