#i think this could be classified as toxic yuri

[sirgawainofgalifrey]

Feel free to ignore this, but you said you were taking requests, and I'm kind of missing the heyday of fradrian, so. :3

I have no idea what their actual height differences are but this is how I perceive them

[nyaskitten]

I think it's interesting how Ras tells Beatrix that without him, she'd be nothing but an insignifcant member of the Vespasian-Orus family, and that she needs him, and her rebuttal is that she needs no one, and HE needs HER, because without HER, HE'D be the insignificant one, and that he's a fraud, a failure, and he would be utterly powerless without her... What type of toxic yuri could this even be classified as...

[otabangbang]

Otayuri and Me - Mun Post

Today is a special day for me. A very special day. And I'm posting about it to talk a little about Otayuri, and why it bothers me that people see it as a horrible, abusive relationship and classify our gentle Kazakh as a pedophile.

Today is my 16th anniversary with my boyfriend. You read that right. And no, we are not married because we're working on other things in our life together, before anyone asks about that. How old were we when we started dating?

14 and 16. We met in high school. He was a sophomore and I was a freshmen. We had the same algebra class together, but more than that we met in the high school roleplaying club. I developed a crush on him and some months later, managed to ask him out. We've been together ever since and I can't imagine being with someone who treats me as well as he does - honestly, I am extremely proud of our relationship dynamic.

How old are Yuri and Otabek as we speak? 16 and 18. It is the same age difference. These two are the equivalent of two high schoolers - like myself and my boyfriend - dating, and it is beyond me, so beyond me that people honestly think this is a terrible abusive relationship. They're teenagers. That 2 year age difference is not going to include a vast difference in maturity levels, lifetimes experiences and so on (...in the normal person anyway, ice skaters in championships is a different story, but they do experience it together...).

"But Otabek ad Yuri getting sexual is bad because he's older!" Nah, don't buy it. Shit, I was probably 15 when my boyfriend and I started fucking around. We were sexual, hormonal teenagers. No, not every teenager is sexual, but we were and acted on it. Even when he was 18 and I was 16 I can't say I ever felt preyed on, never did anything I didn't want to, didn't hate my experiences and regret them (except for the baseball dugout OH MY GOD THAT PLACE WAS FILTHY). Otabek being 18 and doing things with Yuri doesn't fucking make him a pedophile. It doesn't make him a bad person. It doesn't make him wrong. He's a horny teenager (my version anyway) and Yuri is too and they're going to do stuff.

Otabek being 18 and getting with his 16 year old friend isn't manipulating, a sign of a life damaging abuser, anything like that. It's goddamn puppy love. I've been there, I remember it, and it's become a big and wonderful part of my life. It's not toxic. And again, not fucking pedophilia (and if you think it is, I urge you to research what pedophilia is. It's a terrible thing and should absolutely not be used as a weapon because you don't like a pairing).

I'm not saying an 18 year old can't abuse a 16 year old. Lol. People of all ages can abuse each other, let's be fucking real, but he is not a disgusting abusive person BECAUSE of his age. If he were like..20 or some shit? Yea, I would question that because there IS a difference in maturity levels there, in growth and your surroundings. But come on, the amount of discourse against this pairing is just unbelievable to me. I understand people have different experiences and go through shit. But when you not only project that on these characters but also harass the fans and call them pedophiles and criminals and all that bullshit?

Unacceptable.

And...I don't understand where anyone would get this from Otabek's character. Quiet and a bit of a loner, when he does finally talk to Yuri it's after saving his ass from fans who were looking to harass him. He doesn't restrain him, from the moment they are off the bike, Yuri could go if he wanted and anyone who pays attention to Yuri knows if he didn't like where he was or who he was with he would have taken the fuck off. But he stayed. And Otabek? Even ASKED if he could call him a friend before just deciding it.

Take a look at WTTM. He wouldn't sneak Yuri into a club, but when Yuri snuck in on his own did Otabek yell at him or shame him or anything like that? No. He watched him, chose him a song, gave him his sweatshirt and had a heart to heart with him to understand what was going through Yuri's mind. And then he helped him.

Now when we see them together in merch and posters, Yuri is smiling.

Let them have their damn puppy love. I'm an honest to god example that it can grow into something really fucking beautiful.

[kensurou-blog]

It would be nice if you educated yourself instead of spreading misinformation and throwing words like pedophilia around. A 2 year age gap between a 16 yo and an 18 is not pedophilia. If a boy hasn't entered puberty by the age of 16 (as you claim to be the case for Yuri), it's advisable to seek the help of a doctor, because it's not normal and a potentially very dangerous situation. Sincerely, a 16 yo who ships otayuri and who knows there's nothing wrong with it :)

i am educated on these things, and i’m not spreading misinformation.

a 15 y/o not yet having started puberty is not always indicative of a medical problem. a doctor should absolutely be consulted, but it’s not necessarily a reason to panic (same for multiple months of missed periods. you’d want to go to a doctor, but it doesn’t mean there’s anything wrong with you. some people are just naturally very irregular). genetics come into play. (i have a friend who is extremely healthy and always has been her whole life, but puberty didn’t start for her until she was 15/16. it wasn’t a medical problem. that was just how her body worked, and it turns out her mother had pretty much the same experience.)

puberty is a process that takes years, and there are internal and external changes happening, yes. this is actually why i’m convinced it means he’s a late bloomer. yuri says that he has a short window of time before his body changes. it could only mean he has just started puberty or hasn’t started yet. physically, puberty takes away a good amount of flexibility in most males, causes them to go from wirey to muscular, and makes then shoot up in height. he won’t be able to skate the same way once puberty takes its toll, and he knows this. that’s what he seemed to mean, and what he said coupled with the fact that he still has all the physical characteristics of a prepubescent teen, indicates that he likely hasn’t started puberty yet. therefore, otayuri would be classified as pedophilic.

but look, my fight isn’t with you. at your age, and with the influences around you right now, i know the age difference doesn’t seem like much. but trust me, psychologically, it really is. 15 (and 16 too) is definitely too young to be romantically or sexually involved with an adult, and i would advise you run very far away from any who try to say othetwise. it’s absolutely not healthy for adults over 18 to be interested in children your age and younger.

otayuri, as well as any other minor/adult ship, isn’t healthy, and the adults who ship it and propagate the idea that there is nothing wrong with adults being attracted to children (young teens included) are frankly deplorable. Not to mention the fact that the ship is widely fetishized, and how horribly sexualized yuri is by these adults (most of the offenders being straight women to boot).

i’m not telling you to stop shipping it. you’re convinced it’s fine, and no facts i bring to the table will change your mind. plus i get it. when i was younger i shipped m/a too and didn’t see why others kept saying it was a bad thing. i understand now though. age, an education, and certain life experiences that can only come with age (and growth of your emotional intelligence) really open your eyes. and for people your age, at the rate your brain is developing, even one year can bring huge changes for you psychologically. who i was at 15, and then 18 were very, very different people. i’d like to think that, morally, i was a pretty healthy 18 year old. i would never have even considered dating a 15 y/o then. honestly, even 17 year olds were basically out of the question. otabek’s a good character. he’s very aware of the age and maturity difference between himself and yuri, and careful of the influence he has on his new, young friend, as he should be. otayuri shippers should honestly be taking notes.

the truth is, there are exceptions to the rule. special circumstances would make a 2 year age gap (otayuri’s is actually 3 years though, not 2) acceptable. but otayuri does not fall under any of those exceptions. and realistically, yuri is so ridiculously immature and emotionally stunted that i don’t think he’d even be capable of maintaining a romantic relationship with someone his own age, let alone an adult! someone who doesn’t even have friends shouldn’t be considering a romantic relationship any time soon–it’s pretty much guaranteed to go up in flames.

anyway, i hope you don’t see this as an attack, or condescension. that’s certainly not my intention. my career (and my volunteer work) revolves around working with and helping youth of all ages (k-12). it’s hard to see adults who really should know better treat something serious like it’s not a big deal, and then in a gaslighting fashion, point blame and accusations at people who understand the seriousness and speak up about it. but what’s worse is seeing the influence they have on young ones in the fandom. it’s horrifying and dangerous.

anyway, i’d rather not leave things on a negative note, so that being said; summer’s fast approaching, i hope you enjoy yours. hang with friends, go on a trip, get some quality family time in, stay safe, and take plenty of time away from tumblr and the inevitable toxicity that comes with it.