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stellernorth · 1 year ago

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how each of the scoobies would interact with harmony (if harmony gets chipped and became a scooby instead of spike in season 4):

as @sspoike said in the tags, xander and harmony would fight a lot. some of it would be petty and some of it might be xander insulting her for her femininity or inhumanity. anya would take xander’s side most of the time but sometimes xander’s apparent bias against non-humans would grate at her as an ex-demon. this would build up to a fight where she yells at him about this and he sees how he’s been acting and starts to work to be better.

willow in season 4 is having a whole witchcraft-as-sapphism thing. on angel the series they used harmony in a vampirism-as-sapphism thing (which was kind of clumsy and bad because of how predatory it showed lesbians). but they could put harmony in one or two of those situations again (crucially where she’s just watching women from a distance rather than, as in angel, moving like she’s going to attack women. she’s prevented by the chip anyway. would have to be done carefully but i think it’s possible for this to work out okay). also, willow doesn’t have anyone to talk to about her and tara. for the majority of the season she doesn’t tell her closest friends. so, willow confides (in a sort of non-specific ‘say hypothetically, my friend was…’ way) in harmony after seeing harmony struggle with not understanding her own desire as it’s affected by the chip. she’s also more comfortable talking to harmony because harmony’s not one of her friends, not human, so not as important in her eyes.

buffy and harmony are pretty alike in that they’re both feminine and not-exactly-human. season four begins to work at the idea of the slayer being a monster (as adam’s line in restless) and overall ideas of identity and sense of self. so a parallel is created between buffy and harmony to show that they’re both somewhat non-human. this works especially well with harmony specifically because harmony is likable to the audience, it’s not an affront or anything to think of them as alike.

ok. buffy the vampire slayer season 4. cordelia chase has gone to los angeles to be an actress. spike has gone to south america to be with drusilla. the scoobies are now tragically without someone to fulfill the dynamic of making fun of their plans and saying what others don’t want to say. who do we have already established as a snarky character who knows buffy and co? harmony kendall, recently vampirized sunnydale high alum

#something tricking about the hypothetical willow/harmony conversation is that #willow and tara’s relationship isn’t very sexual. i mean there is fully a sex scene in who are you? i do not forget that #but it seems like to have willow talk about like queer desire might be more than what was allowed #but it’s my hypothetical tv season and i pick the gay stuff #i think there’s also something about willow not trusting harmony to keep it a secret but they could address that by emphasizing how #Everything’s changed since we started college things are so different. or by having harmony say she has no one she wants to talk to (xander #‘s mean to me etc)#post i made #buffy s4 #harmony kendall #buffy the vampire slayer

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tipsycad147 · 3 years ago

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ELDER FUTHARK RUNES

By Willow

I have always been fascinated with divination, or the practice of seeking knowledge of the future or unknown through magical means. However, I have never dabbled in the art before. I decided to change that, starting with runes. Why runes? First, runes are the most popular form of divination, making access to detailed information easy. Second, I recently took a trip to the Great Lakes with my mother and grandmother where I collected a large number of beautiful stones. While most of my stones contain fossils (I went to school for paleontology/evolutionary biology) and will not be used, many I picked because they spoke to me. I pondered over what to use them for before it hit me like a sack of stones (ha!). They told me to turn them into runes, but I don't know the first thing about runes. Well, I just spent the last few weeks learning everything I can online about runes and how to use them. Since there is so much information available, I decided to turn my learning journey into a mini-blog series. What better way to solidify my understanding than to teach others? Runes are the most popular method of divination. I chose to work with the Elder Futhark alphabet, which is the oldest and most commonly used runic alphabet. There are, of course, several other alphabets including Cirth, Gothic, Hungarian, Turkic, and Younger Futhark. There are between 24 and 25 runes in the Elder Futhark alphabet. Below is a comprehensive list of all the runes and their meanings.

FEHU- F: Cattle, Wealth Sign of abundance or financial strength in the present or near future. Abundance through effort, possession won or earned, luck, success. Reversed: Abandonment of plans, loss, disappointment, failure.

URUZ- U: Ox Strength, speed, untamed potential. Sign of great energy and health and sudden/unexpected changes (usually for the better). Freedom, courage, understanding, wisdom. Reversed: Missed abilities, weak willpower, lack of motivation, ignorance.

THURISAZ- TH: Thorn or Giant Reactive forces, conflict, destruction. Usually a sign of violent change. Purging. Reversed: Danger, defenselessness, stubborn mindset, lies. Bad person.

ANSUZ- A: Ancestral God (Odin) Sign of a message from within or insight. Advice from others, inspiration, blessings, chance encounter. Harmony, truth, and wisdom. Think carefully so you will know what to do. Reversed: Trickery, failed communication, delusion, manipulation by others.

RAIDHO- R: Wagon, Journey Sign of that you are about to embark on a journey, either physical or your lifestyle. Vacation, relocation, evolution, change in perspective. Seeing the right move for you and deciding on it. Reversed: Crisis, stasis, disruption, dislocation, demotion, upsetting plans, or even death.

KENAZ- K: Beacon, Torch Vision, knowledge, inspiration, revelation. A sign of opening new strength, energy, and power. Also associated with passion. Reversed: Exposure, loss of hope, disease, breakup, instability, withdrawal.

GEBO- G: Gift Sign of gifts from both sacrifice and generosity, thus indicating balance. Unity of self and others. Marriage. Cannot be reversed.

WUNJO- W or V: Joy A sign that you don't need someone. Peace, pleasure, self worth, joy, serenity, happy results, prosperity. However, it is also a sign of going "over the top." Reversed: Sorrow, dissatisfaction, disappointment, delay, possession by a higher force, frenzy.

HAGALAZ- H: Hail, Destructive Forces Out of our control. Wrath of nature. Uncontrollable forces, especially in regards to weather or within our unconscious. Trial. Cannot be reversed.

NAUTHIZ- N: Need Resistance, distress, delay, restraint. Sign to proceed with caution and that will power can overcome distress, confusion, and conflict. A time to exercise patience and face your fears. Reversed: Improper course of action, toil, deprivation, want, poverty, hunger.

ISA- I: Ice Frozen in time, non-action, on hold. A sign of standstill and psychological blocks to thought or activity. Time to turn inward and wait for what is to come. This rune reinforces the runes around it. Let got of your ego. Cannot be reversed.

JERA- J or Y: A Year Sign that the results from earlier efforts are paying off. A time of peace and happiness. Prosperity, promise of success earned. Fruition. Everything happens in its own time. Cannot be reversed.

EIHWAZ- EI: Yew Tree Stability, patience, endurance, dependability. Indications that you have set your sights on a reasonable goal that you can achieve. A sign of an honest man you can rely on. Reversed: Confusion, destruction, weakness.

PERTHRO- P: Lot Cup Signal of a secret matter, mystery, or hidden abilities. Knowledge of future matters, determining the future or your path. Initiation. Do not repeat the old. Reversed: Events stalled, unpleasant surprises, addiction, loneliness.

ALGIZ- Z: Elk, Protection Spirit guides, protection, making a connection with the spirit. Defense, warding off evil, shield. The urge to protect others or oneself. Follow your instincts. A sign to keep hold of success and try to maintain position either won or earned. Reversed: Hidden danger, loss of divine link.

SOWILO- S: The Sun A sign that the circle is complete and that your goals are going to be achieved. Honor, self knowledge, self awareness, wholeness, power. A time when power will be available to you for positive changes. Success. Cannot be reversed

TIWAZ- T: Tyr, the sky god Honor, justice, authority, leadership. Rationality and analysis. Willingness to self-sacrifice. A sign of victory in any competition or legal matter. Finding yourself. Reversed: Low energy, lack of enthusiasm. Strife, war, conflict, failure.

BERKANO- B: Berchta, the birch goddess A sign of general fertility, both mental and physical. Renewal, birth, promise of new beginnings, new growth. Love and desire. Be prepared and cautious in what you do in regards to family. Reversed: Family problems, domestic troubles, loss of control, sterility, deceit.

EHWAZ- E: Horse Transportation whether by horse, car, plane, boat, or other vehicle. Change for the better. Harmony, loyalty, trust, teamwork. A sign of an ideal marriage or partnership. Move forward carefully, focusing on the tools that you will need to get there. Confirms without a doubt the meaning of the runes around it. Reversed: Sudden, unexpected change that is not wanted. Reckless, disharmony, mistrust, betrayal.

MANNAZ- M: Man The self and its place in the collective conscience of humanity. Personal reflection. Your attitude toward others and their attitudes towards you. Social order. Expect to receive aid or cooperation. Intelligence, forethought, skill. Reversed: Depression, mortality, self-delusion. Expect no help.

LAGUZ- L: Water Flow, fertility source, healing, renewal. Dreams, fantasies. Health and healing. Emotions are connected to all things. Reversed: Not listening to your inner voice. You may be making the wrong decisions and poor judgements. Stuck, obsession, sickness, suicide.

INGWAZ- NG: Ing, the earth god. Male fertility, internal growth, gestation, family love, human warmth, common virtues. Finish up what you are doing, tie up lose ends, and start something new. Cannot be reversed.

DAGAZ- D: Day or Dawn Breakthrough, new day, awakening. This is the time to plan or embark on a new journey. Security, certainty, transformation, happiness, hope. The power to change. Cannot be reversed.

OTHALA- O: Ancestral Property A sign that you may inherit property or possessions. Group prosperity, spiritual heritage, values, safety. Reversed: Slavery, poverty, homelessness, prejudice, stuck. Not letting go.

The last rune is the blank rune*. This rune was not used historically, but instead was created in the 1980's. Many believe you shouldn't use a blank rune. I haven't decided if I will use this rune or not, but is represents Fate or Destiny and cannot be reversed. If it shows up when asking a question, it usually means it is not the right time to ask. It can also represents major changes in your life, good and bad. I'll leave it up to you whether or not you wish to include this rune. I hope this has been informative. If you already practice rune divination, do you use the blank rune or not?

https://www.flyingthehedge.com/2014/07/elder-futhark-runes.html

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homewecomesblog · 4 years ago

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siarven · 7 years ago

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My OCs!

Sierra Craye

From: Monster

Sierra is nine years old, very sassy, often grumpy, and she’s befriended the monster under her bed. It keeps annoying her and she keeps annoying it back, it’s like she just got another sibling she never wanted. If anyone hurts it though they’ll have to deal with her, and nobody wants that.

Ava Elyssa Nichols

From: Dreams and Shadows

Ava is eight and her life revolves around Ben, her older brother, since her parents are both very bad at taking care of their children (they’ve got their reasons, still doesn’t help anyone though). Now Ben is gone, though, and Ava has no idea how to cope with that. Ava is afraid of the darkness and the monsters it holds, and she loves the family cat Amber with all her heart. I have a lot of plans for her ;)

Benjamin Alec “Ben” Nichols

From: Dreams and Shadows

Ben is twelve and the whole reason why his family hasn’t broken apart yet. He didn’t really have much of a childhood because he instead takes care of his sister, depressed father, and science-obsessed mother all the while excelling in school because he thinks that people expect that of him. And now he’s dying, more or less. Basically, he just needs a break.

Kiyera Sy

From: Dreams and Shadows

She’s fifty-seven and has given up on life after losing both her lover and her son. The only thing that#s keeping her going is taking care of the city’s abandoned pets and the carrier pigeons. She moved to Merreadon some twenty years ago. Before that she spent most of her life as a pirate queen fighting the very empire she now lives in (and despises, more and more). She sort of adopts both Ava and Ben halfway through the story.

Fiyare

From: Dreams and Shadows

Fiyare is probably five hundred years old, or older. She was once human before becoming a Guardian. She’s assigned to the Nichols family, and kind of failing at protecting them. It’s not really her fault, but she still feels like it is.

Azrae

From: Dreams and Shadows

A Natah (godlike being in the destruction category); God of Death, basically. They protects the Fallen and makes sure that they find their way. They’re on the nonbinary spectrum and prefer they/them/their or she/her. Ava can channel their powers. They basically helped raise Iuri even though they never asked for it, Iuri just chose them. Azrare doesn’t understand what Iuri likes about them so much but since they loves Iuri (in the family sort of way... or is it?) they don’t question it. Azrae spent thousands of years in perpetual loneliness, not even really realizing that they were lonely, until Iuri decided to be adopted by them. And that was that.

Iuri

From: Dreams and Shadows

A Nanaël (godlike being in the creation category); Lady of Fire. She’s basically everyone’s favourite, exuberant, happy, upbeat. Nobody understands why she chose Azrae of all people, the gloomiest gloom to ever gloom. But since they’re both happy that’s all that matters. Ava can channel her powers.

Mikaën

From: Dreams and Shadows

A Nanaël (creation); Lord of Order. He’s the leader of the Nanaël but has sort of given up in reent years since every child he’s chosen during the last 300 years was either taken or killed by the Asim (the sort of magic-users). Ben can channel his powers, and he only chose Ben because Fiyare told him so and he trusts her.

Luzire

From: Dreams and Shadows

A Natah (Destruction), Lady of Chaos. She strongly dislikes being forced into roles she hasn’t chosen herself. She’s also completely bonkers and wants to destroy the universe. Ben can channel her powers. She’s been imprisoned since she brought on the last apocalypse. She’s not quite as imprisoned as everyone seems to think she is but she is still in there and hasn’t yet found out how to escape. Alasayr is her right-hand-man because she’s not powerful enough to contact her other friends allies.

Alasayr

From: Dreams and Shadows

A once-human, now demon, who’s responsible for all the problems, or at least most of them. He’s Luzire’s right hand.

Ilien

From: Firewings/Feuervogel

He’s the Mist Rider, a mythical demon slayer. He’s very old, not quite six hundred years old (since the story takes place over a couple of years I’ll leave it at that). He hates his brother with all his soul, hates the demons, loves his dead little sister more than anything else, feels responsible for everything and loves Lirhin, his adoptive daughter, the way any father would. He does a lot of wonderful things but just as many horrible ones, for reasons only he himself knows. I’ve carried him around for roughly three years before I started writing firewings. He’s my problematic son and I love him.

Lirhin

From: Firewings

Adoptive daughter of Ilien. Her parents are dead and Ilien saved her. She’s very rebellious, makes a lot of mistakes, rights many wrongs and is overall a very active person. I love her as much as I love Ilien, but I can’t talk too much about her because most of it is the story anyways.

Jouka

From: firewings

Oh, Jouka, my boy! I’d almost forgotten you… damnit, now I want to write firewings again. Jouka is basically the most trustworthy, calm, amazing person ever, and he’s chosen problematic fav Lirhin as his project. He can also heal. Of course, he has his demons, too, but who doesn’t? Definitely a cinnamon roll :D

Alienor

From: Firewings

Oh, Alienor… She’s Jouka’s younger sister and can talk to animals, she’s also really good with languages and runes and so on.

Jeanna

From: Firewings

From timid girl to badass warrior rebel queen… I love her. She lost her mother and older sister when she was very young, and after finding out about a few things runs away to find herself a better home. Also she hates Lirhin very passionately. She’s a very tough from the outside and it might take years to get close to her but once you’re there she’s totally a softie. She doesn’t care if you like her and she’s mean to everybody, get used to it. If you’re her friend she’ll protect you from everyone, though. She’s also very bi.

Razouk

From: Firewings

He has the problem that everyone around him manipulates him, and that he’s probably not strong enough to withstand all of them because if everyone does it that’s pretty hard. He also has the problem that he’ll never be as good as his sister, at least not in the eyes of his master, whom he tries to please always and in any way possible. Too bad if you don’t even really know who your master actually is.

Arrick and Meena

From: Firewings

The crown prince and princess. They’re fighting to keep the country together while their father lets everything fall apart. Live is hard but they’re harder, and they’re also working harder.

Rheon

From: Firewings

He cares very deeply about his people, being City lord of a larger city… only problem: The King doesn’t do anything and everything gets worse and worse. What could be better than a little rebellion to put things right?

Skye/Lucifer (I’ll change her name when I get back to this writing project… at first the story took place on earth, when it was only Lucifer. Now that it’s another world entirely her name makes little sense.)

From: Morning Star

Lucifer Reborn, only she has no idea. She’s sixteen, typical teenage rebellion phase, sassy, aggressive, quickly angered, impulsive and sometimes even manipulative – but at the same time incredibly kind, and generous if she thinks you deserve it. Only problem: She’s the daughter of two preachers whose church is based on the vilification of Lucifer, and she’s spent most of her life knowing that something is deeply wrong with her but has no idea what. So, basically everyone who hates Lucifer knows who she is, why she has no idea at all, just very bad self esteem and a cynical personality. She’s aro-ace.

Meera

From: Morning Star

Skye’s mother. She just wants her daughter’s best and has no idea (how could she) what she’s actually doing to her. She’s kind of bad at letting go and accepting that Skye has to find her own path. She’s also one of the leaders of the rebellion, but not the mind – she’s the heart, the one who keeps everyone human, who’ll have to make sure that this rebellion doesn’t end up making everything worse than it was before.

Okazaki

From: Morning Star

My baby… he’s the psychic, the dream-boy, the only one who can save Alun – the only one who can save God. Only problem: He’s the shyest person that has ever been and is so deeply afraid of people that it’ll take everything he has to do this. He’s also very broken, deep down, lived in an orphanage most of his life and is currently the apprentice to a cartographer because he’s excellent at drawing and memorizing things. He has to learn that he can be the active one for once, too, not just let everything happening to him without putting up any sort of resistance. He’ll find a lot of great friends really soon though.

Echo

From; Morning Star

Skye’s childhood friend, and, like his name says, he sometimes thinks that he’s just Skye’s echo, too. He spends most of his time protecting Skye from her (often bad) choices and standing by her side. Only, he has to realize that he’s his own person, too, and that he deserves happiness as well. He quickly finds the perfect best friend in Okazaki thought!

Harmony

From: Morning Star

He’s a war leader. Great name for a war leader, right? Only, the name is kind of fitting, because while Harmony is an excellent warrior he also has so much heart. He might be the only one who can save Rayden from himself, and thousands of lives. He has a very dark secret, and he’s very gay. He’s the knight in shining armour, basically, the saviour, the hero with a heart of gold.

Rayden

From: Morning Star

Rayden is the Emperor’s only surviving son and heir to the throne. He’s also really, really horrible, but he wasn’t always that way. He’s a monster and he knows it, and he knows that his choices and those of his father led him here. He thinks that he’s irredeemable and maybe would be in the eyes of everyone else. Only, there’s also Harmony, and Harmony believes in him.

Willow

From: Morning Star

Willow is in her eighties or so, the Healer from Skye’s home village. She raised Meera, Skye’s mother, and is basically the only one (apart from maybe Echo) that Skye trusts completely, with everything. She helps Meera, and Skye, and is generally incredibly generous and warm and calming and helpful. She’s also very broken, deep down.

Icarus

From: Morning Star

He chose the name himself after feeling like he didn’t deserve his old one. The most broken of them all, incredibly old, immortal, and the only one whose mind didn’t break completely during Lucifer’s torture. He takes care of her other victims, and he hates lucifer with a burning passion for what she did to them, and to him. He’s the only one with a sense of self. He’s waited for Lucifer’s return since a few thousand years, but now that she’s back he has to see that Skye isn’t Lucifer. That she any help she can get, especially since every single one of Lucifer’s enemies knows who she is, while she doesn’t. The only way to find release for himself and for the Others is to help Skye save herself, after all.

Hawk

From: Morning Star

Roughly 250 years old. Mischievous, playful, always up for a prank. He needs to realize that sometimes you need to take responsibility to achieve anything in life. He might need to help Lucifer, and Cassandra.

Cassandra

From: Morning Star

Lucifer’s childhood friend. Roughly two and a half million years old. She’s the one who has to re-unite the Icari and the Oresh (similar to angels/demons) before they tear each other apart in the worst war the world has ever seen. She needs to realize that she has to do that, not Lucifer, even if she’s still very nostalgic. She’ll never forgive herself for not saving Lucifer, even though she really tried. Hard. She’s also bi.

Kieran

From: Morning Star

Lucifer’s childhood friend. Roughtly two and a half million years old. Looks like he’s twenty-seven. He loved Lucifer, once, and blames basically everyone else for what happened to her. Most of all God. He’s very broken, and very lost, and though he thinks that what he does is for the best it really isn’t. Someone stop him, please…

Oh man, so many characters. And these are only three projects! I’ll add Icicle Soul, Burning Skies and Sky Citadel later, I think…Also not all those characters have stuff in their tags yet. I’m working on that :)

#siarven writes #my writing #my ocs #dreamshadow #firewings #morningstar #sierrasmonster #i won't tag my ocs in here bc there are too many so whatever #thank you for reading #long post

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jasoncnkam · 7 years ago

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secret santa ‘17: jason & julius

the fruit and sap of the sycamore tree bestow immortality, and where willows do their weeping, strength and hope inspire survival of those who suffer from loss of harmony.

last christmas i got the opportunity to write for pansy and this year i have for frida, @juliefinn. the writing i were supposed to have written got lost along the way, a week or so before today, so unfortunately i have not given this one as much time as i would’ve liked. i hope it’s readable, still, and more akin to magical realism than fantasy. if it happens that you like it, i’d love to revamp it for you. i hope your day have been well and that it will continue to treat you better.

also, thank you for this year, everyone.

title: anastomosis word count: 2444

tw: medical-ish gore and body horror below the last asterism, though it’s technically inosculation. there are also mentions of death throughout.

“hello.” the greeting marbles off julius’ tounge as he stands between earth and dawn, his shadow cast on the stranger who underneath awakes from slumber. tufts of bluegrass shimmer across the red and golden of his tickled skin, embosomed by tiny specks that bewing his jutting shoulders and gather its shed down along his nape and neck. when julius with forethought stoop down by his side, the presumed spots come forth as something else—it is not dirt that the boy had blanketed himself with up to his waking. they are freckles, either from sun or birth, and as such they belong on his skin no less than the purple airfoil that a demoiselle has left for his eyes to wear and water neath each lid. julius’ gaze moves off his shoulder and gets caught by his stare, intent though mellow from doze. alongside the rising sun he promises much life past noon, for in his seize julius’ heart somersaults in-between its beats and then cheers loud enough for morning bats to flee the other way.

“i’m sorry, did i wake you?”, julius laughs as quietly as he may, embarrassed of how soon as well as long he fell into daze. he withdraws to settle down on folded legs. shallow wrinkles set in rows down the bridge of his nose when the grass tickles his sensitive ankles. “i thought you just had your eyes shut.” or so julius had hoped, for now his guilt to have awoken the boy is well enough for him to draw in his bottom lip and gnaw it raw inside his unstrung mouth. he fears for the worst until the boy forces himself up on languid arms and asks,

“who are you?”

reluctantly the teeth unloose as to let him nudge his wounded lip back in place to answer, “julius finnigan bo mccallaghan jr., and you?”

“...jason amadeo naim cankam.”, he returns at slower pace.

“where do you come from? i don’t recognise you.”

“you could’ve not just seen me”, jason avoids in such a narrow frame of time that it brings julius to withdraw his hands off the grass and onto his lap in a clasp. was it dumb to ask? the poor boy asks himself with no answer to drape his trust upon. why could it have been dumb to ask?

“yes, but… i have a feeling i’d remember you…” thereunder his fingers rush a hold each of the blonde curls that wreath around his ears. “i mean, we look alike, you and me. not wholly, of course… but enough that i think i’d remember.”

“we do?”

julius confirms through a soft nod and replaces his curls with his mouth once again. meanwhile, jason draws further into himself to unravel the ball of his childhood’s yarn.

“…i haven’t seen myself before.”

“never?”

“never.”

has jason, the poor boy, not once looked upon his own reflection? has has never seen the corners of his mouth muster a smile? his lashes shoo off cobweb and dew? his cheeks blush from the weakest breeze? julius looks back to when he was seven years young, feeling like royalty when he sat atop of his brother bo’s broader shoulders and held onto his head while elijah waded backwards in front of them, arms obtrude lest their little brother were to totter and fall. it was the day where he took his first breaststroke and floated. as was it the day when he met his own smile. he wants to help jason meet his, too, thus on two rifled limbs julius rises up, holding his palm open for jason’s to fold over. “come.”

“where to?”

“you have to meet yourself once in your life. come, i’ll lead you.”

doubt melts off jason’s nerves and he accepts his hand into his, fingers squeezing his fist. it feels silken to his own palm, which is fenced in scars, pink as white. presuming a flinch from julius he holds onto his breath, but once helped off the ground and dusting the sod off his pants, he is nudged back to breathing as he is lead off the meadow, into the grove of anemone, and step out on the other side on ankles, battered in bitemarks of nettle and thornbush.

⁂

“it’s okay, jason. you won’t have to get in.”

tethered a bit off the lakeside he sits, crouched and hugging a boulder as far as his arms their sinews can stretch. it is not to prefer before julius, but with freshwater up to his calves, jason regards himself as without rescue, whereupon he gripes, “it’s too much. please, come back.”

“...vic said that too the day he decided to come to the lake with us.”, julius paws onward, weighing his words with care as he climbs up the brim and afterward use the linen above his abdomen to dry the lichen off his palms. “though we hurried to, he had already run back home before eli, bo, and i got up.” of course they had followed, comforting their younger brother by the plum trees among wasps and dew. thereafter they had agreed to try another day and make tarts in lieu.

“vic?”

“yes, my little brother, victor. elijah and bo are our oldest… william and zebulon are our youngest, in that order.” he pauses. “…and john, lucas, and joseph… they were born before vic and after me.”

his teeth play then on untuned strings as they screech between sore gums, hidden from jason to keep him catching its cry with his sight. but he knows better than not to trust his gut, and thus he sets his arms free, using them for linchpins once crawling on his fours to the brim while julius watches him, curious until content.

“just... don’t push me in...”, jason falters while he grasps the earth on his fours and julius wades in once more, tiptoeing astern as to bait waves of neither water nor blood.

“i’d never.” sunlight slide down his thin fingers when all then of them point at the sky where birds come in garlands and no clouds are to be found. meanwhile, jason’s abdomen whines as he forces his curved spine to unbend—the farther away he can be and yet witness his own reflection, the better. julius, however, wants to admire up close. thus, he does.

“…do you see yourself?”

“yeah.”

“so what do you think?”

“...i’m not much to look at.”

“how about now?”, julius asks low when he, with no thought of clothing, kneels down before his reflection and it dissolves as his fingertips flit across.

“better.”, jason nods low.

“...because you see less of yourself.”

it was not a question but whilst pulling himself up, another nod is the affirmation jason offers before he hides his mouth against the shoulder, teeth nipping at its skin till it goes red. if he only knew how he sees him, julius mourns to himself but nevertheless forces out a bashful smile, though the words ease off his tongue,

“i think i like you better.”

his irises, warm with yellow in ultramarine, look back at his ones, pale in cobalt, and their throats lace in pollen, their bodies pulling one another’s into the water. soaking wet with sternum aglow they remain, hands on each other when sharing hugs as well as frolicsome shoves, bringing forth giggles which erupt like hiccups do. that is, until jason is to discover julius’ love for underwater breathing—submerging their bodies, charged with soft, visceral electricity that killed neither.

⁂

“singing along?”, jason smiles to julius when they walk back side by side. a leaf of reed rests against his mouth, for soon before it had made a woodwind for his lips. but julius’ have already hurried themselves to silence and the lower one gets drawn into his mouth like it had been at dawn. he had felt sure that his hums were low enough to elude the other’s ears, but alas, he had been wrong.

“no.”

with eyes that mean no harm as they roll, jason lowers the reed and his gaze as his thumbs begin to rove. “can you tell more about your brothers? what are they like?”

“...eli and bo are much taller than i am. they grew alongside each other and after i had been born i dovetailed their arms in bed. and then our youngers brothers came, and i attached to them as well... but vic and will often sleeps along eli and bo so, who knows, perhaps they’ll grow tall like them… with zeb, it’s to wait and see.”

“and john, lucas, a—”

suddenly jason quiets. not from just anything, but from the three beddings which tread forward in the grass before them. by each one the wood anemones that has been spared from getting slept into the ground grow. all triplets, they are inseparable but the one to the right, the home of a tree whose height has been reduced to that of a stump. eyes turn aside, but not julius’. the thin membranes of his have gone glossy and his pupils miniscule. if they could talk, they would in snivels and on to sobs. but devoid of words for to utter, julius drops on his knees before the bed on the left, carefully places his two palms past its edge, and puts his mouth at rest against the cold earth.

“hello, john.”, he whispers midst a tone, threatful of lament. “please... don’t be afraid. you will meet us all and be held for as long as you want. i promise you that. your brothers love you… give a hug to our mother from us. tell her we love her, too.” a familiar kiss to seal his prayer is pressed with two more to come and hindered by five, spiritual fingers that have his neck locked in a lurid halo round his pileum, jason is forced to look further, and when he is to drop his jaw in apology another five push it shut, he is also forced to listen. “hello, lucas... we miss you. you don’t have to say that you ran back here. you can say that you fought, if you want. but please, come back. if just for a day, come back. we love you.” his brothers do not lie above. “hello, joseph.” nor do they, hidden under the wilted, torn wood anemones. “…what our father did to you was cruel… we love you so, little brother. nothing can wane our love for you… father did not understand this... i don’t know if he still do...” they lie underneath, “but he isn’t here. you won’t have to see him if you decide to come back…” in the roots of the dogwoods they were begotten from, “please, come back.” and since then have gone astray.

and julius, hiding his face behind his hand, hobbles up on two to cry to jason’s heart as neither of them return yet another night, though brimmed with stars to guide them.

“are you leaving?”

brought into a pinky-hold, jason swears him his reassuring, “no.”

⁂

though they couldn’t know for sure, that evening they shared, vulnerable and hurting, had changed it all. the year has gone from late spring, on to summer, and at last, before wintertime, early autumn.

tears no longer ferment within julius, bringing forth fungi to strike his veins and taint him orange. nor is he today afraid that there might be some left, for he trusts jason as he has trusted him with tending for skin as it has shed, several times over. his scar tissue flickers now in peach and eggshell, and the skeleton that had once shattered in broken joints have healed to become pliable. during the summer they had run and stumbled with purpose to roll about, fished for mussels and their little treasures to make jewelry with, and above all, cried till all hurt got out to make space for the wonder right in front of them.

“julius?”, jason interrupts the crickets as they lie—himself with his head on julius’ lap and his on a tussock for a pillow—amid the meadow where they first met. on both’s fourth, left finger, a silver ring of their size has been put.

“yeah?”

“i’ve been thinking.”

“...what about?”

“i want you be with you in winter as i was in spring and summer—as i am now, in autumn.”

“...jason, what are you saying?”

“that i love you, and that if you want me as i want you, you have me forever.”

⁂

cut with the first gash, jason and his wound slowly spatter apart. tendons stretch and muscles writhes and throbs whilst in aerial hands. sap leaves his tear-ducts and nostrils, his wrist gathering them all to use for thread besides those who julius steals with his lips, kissing them gone.

“i love you, honey.”, he hums against his cheek, bathing in the scent of honey and sandalwood one last time before theirs are to coalesce. “i love you so...” the blade drips his tummy crimson whilst it beats wild against its edge—closer to jason, his love. “i’m so happy to be yours as you are mine.” curls drape each face, blonde to caramel, which the lovers brush away and arrange, noses touching and teeth showing until their foreheads press and julius bids, “jason, do me as i’ve done you.”

and the second gash forms in wished hold, shroud atop of his own. pushed upward, a twincut is brought to be whereon their chests press close, ribcages of honeycomb cracking open for the nectar to run while their arms hold onto each others’ back—hearts unfolding and sealing their pleats upon touch. whilst jason smears the sap off his wrist and runs his fingers alongside their seam of skins, julius kisses him—his mouth a butterfly in frenzy—in line with his drawn stitches, needle casted in bumblebee fur and freshwater pearl.

this is their home—a meadow where wildflowers grow and mice, rabbits, and voles delve dens and cavort. here birds come to make nests for their young, as do deer on the ground and runaway cats until they feel ready to be found and return home.

here are his brothers, all eight of them—elijah and bo, twining each other’s hands and holding them high above their heads to bestow curtains of chiffon for the young to play with and hare through. william and victor, throwing edelweiss as far as they will go before they float down and strew around them. john, lucas, and joseph, smiling and blessing the earth with laughter that encourage petals to twirl and whirl.

and here is his sycamore, jason.

and here is he, his willow.

together at home, at last and evermore.

#( * julius #juliefinn #secret santa

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tialovestelevision · 8 years ago

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Pangs

Well, here’s an episode synopsis that fills me with hope. Do I have to? 1. Previously On… from the viewpoint of Riley and Spike. 2. Vampire tells Buffy that things were great before she came. Then she stakes him. Angel is in the bushes. Angel, just leaving works better if you don’t come back less than ten episodes later. 3. They replaced Seth Green with James Marsters in the opening credits. 4. They’re watching them get ready to build a cultural center. Xander is a construction worker. Anya thinks he looks manly; Buffy thinks he looks Village People. I wouldn’t trust him to eat Brogurt or disco properly. 5. Brogurt exists, by the way. It didn’t when Buffy was made, but it does now. That is how far we’ve fallen. 6. I do like Buffy’s hat. 7. Willow is about to make a valid point that will also undermine the entire episode. 8. Seriously. You can make an episode where the white hero protects other white people from the magical spiritual vengeance of the indigenous people massacred or dislocated to make room for the town all the characters live in. It’s a dick move, but you can do it. But you can’t do it while also pointing out that the indigenous people were in fact slaughtered and that was kind of a crime against humanity. 9. Yes, Willow, your terrible witch- (you-) burning mother has a point on this one. 10. Anya is also pointing out that holiday meals are basically the oursourcing of a ritual animal sacrifice. This episode is a barrel of fun! 11. Now Xander is digging and Anya is happy. Soon Xander will be sweating. Imaginary Xander is quite a sex machine. Real Xander fell in a hole. You’d think they’d have checked to make sure the ground wasn’t supported by a flimsy wooden frame before picking the spot for their cultural center, wouldn’t you? Then a burial ground. 12. Angel is outside Buffy’s dorm. Inside, Willow is talking to Buffy. Willow has a Dingoes poster still. 13. Xander fell into the lost Sunnydale mission, from the 1812 earthquake. 14. Apparently, Buffy can’t go to her mom’s for Thanksgiving. She wants to do her own. It’s a sham, with yams. It’s a yam-sham. I don’t like yams. 15. “I suppose there could be slight yams.” Buffy is going to do a Thanksgiving with her friends. 16. The point of Thanksgiving is that everyone has a place to go. Except Spike. He’s cold and alone. 17. Not as alone as he’d like to be. The Initiative is after him. 18. Anya is visiting Xander. He is sick. He is very sick Anya says they can dig without Xander. Anya says it looks like Xander is catching all the diseases she used to inflict on men. 19. “We’ll die together. It’s romantic.” “You’re a strange girlfriend.” I’m a girlfriend?” 20. Oh, look. Glowing green spirit. 21. The professor building the cultural center is being stalked by the green spirit. It turned into a person, grabbed a knife, and cut her throat. She’s missing an ear. Willow knows spells that use ears, and imagines a demon that builds demons out of ears. Mick Foley would be safe! 22. Willow’s off her investigation game. But Buffy found the missing Chumash knife. The Chumash, by the by, are an actual culture. 23. Giles is the patriarch. 24. Giles knows Angel is here. He’s having a conversation with him. Angel is keeping his presence secret from Buffy. 25. Giles is right, Angel. Come on. 26. Spike is watching the vampires feast and can’t join in. 27. Hey, look, it’s Riley. Willow is leaving Buffy and Riley alone. 28. Angel just ambushed Willow. Willow is also telling Angel not to be all secret. 29. Buffy is inviting Riley to Thanksgiving. But he’s going out of town for Thanksgiving. He’s from Iowa. Fucking Iowa. Did they go out of their way to make this guy as uninteresting as possible? 30. Spike is trying to get back into Harmony’s den. Harmony is rejecting him. With a stake. 31. “Can I have someone to eat?” 32. Now Buffy’s at a church, looking for Father Gabriel who knows history. She hasn’t found him. There he is, getting hanged by the spirit. The spirit says Buffy can’t stop him. 33. He turned into ravens. 34. “It’s very common for Indian spirits to take on animal form.” Yegods. 35. Oh god they’re using the actual history of the place to make Buffy morally conflicted about killing the spirit. 36. “Fluffy indigenous kittens.” Really? 37. “I have to baste.” I wish I had something to baste right now. 38. Willow and Giles think Angel has lost his edge. 39. Now the spirit is getting other Chumash weapons. And Xander has all the diseases. Including smallpox. Which nobody around him has immunity to. And syphillis. 40. “Can we come back to the part about about me and my new syphillis?” 41. And now Xander has made his girlfriend angry. Buffy just wants to make and enjoy her feast. 42. Spike has gone to Buffy for help. Spike can’t eat people. “I’m saying that Spike had a little trip to the vet, and now he doesn’t chase the other puppies any more.” 43. The spirit is raising more spirits to use the weapons he has. 44. Spike is tied to a chair. He doesn’t have any circulation. But it pinches. “I came to you in friendship. Well, all right, seething hatred, but I’ve got useful information, and I feel I’m being mistreated.” 45. “You extermiated his race. There’s nothing you can say that will make that better.” 46. Xander, Anya, and Willow are going to warn the Dean that the spirit is going to kill him. But the spirit’s army is attacking Giles’s house. 47. Now they’re stealing bikes to get back to help Buffy. 48. Okay, Spike pincushioned with arrows is the best visual of the episode. 49. Buffy got shot with an arrow. 50. And wow. The last ounce of moral anything this episode was desperately clinging to has died as the bicycle cavalry - Willow, Anya, and a still smallpox-infected Xander - rides to save the day. They made a Western. A bad Western. That points out its own moral problems but doesn’t actually ADDRESS them. 51. Now Anta and Willow are beating a spirit with shovels while Buffy and Giles fight two more inside. 52. Angel just broke a spirit’s neck. 53. And threw a knife to take out another one. 54. Giles is going to have a concussion by the end of this. 55. “A bear! You made a bear!” “I didn’t mean to.” Seriously, Spike is the only part of this episode that’s actually entertaining. Well, other than the dinner preparations, and those are very, very darkly comedic. 56. Now Spike has fallen down. Buffy is still fighting a bear. Xander distracted the bear and Buffy stabbed it with her knife. 57. And Angel is leaving. Bye, Angel! 58. “What happened? Did we win?” 59. “I think my syphillis is clearing right up.” 60. And Xander just gave away the Angel secret. I love the look on Spike’s face there. Overall: That was not good. Like, wow. The good: Spike was wonderful throughout the episode. He was funny, desparate, his storyline worked really well. The evil vampire was the one bright point in a dreary mess of television writing. Okay, two bright points. Sarah Michelle Gellar and the writers did a great job with Buffy’s desire to do one single normal thing, and her avoidance of conflict with and among her friends. These are fairly common themes in the series - Homecoming is probably the best example of the first - and tend to be handled well, but this is one of the best times they did that. The rest… you can make a fun episode where cowboys fight Indians, or you can talk about the massacre of the indigenous cultures of the Americas, but you can’t do both. You just… can’t. You SHOULDN’T make a fun episode about cowboys fighting Indians, but it’s possible. You can’t do both. You make people sad during the fun fighting and incoming cavalry and whatnot, and you cheapen the larger point about the treatment of the people of the Americas. If you want to tell a story about one of the great sins of American history, you can’t make the white people the heroes, and you can’t make it an action or comedy story. It just isn’t possible to do well. I understand this is one of Joss and company’s favorite episodes of Buffy. I… don’t get it. It sucked.

#angel #buffy #buffy the vampire slayer #colonialism #buffy season 4 #season 4 #pangs

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homewecomesblog · 3 years ago

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Backyard Healing Herbs The Best Health Tips

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