#i think the last time was so long ago it wouldn't exist on my current blogs..

[nanokaiju]

girls night!!

[cheeseceli]

I'll be waiting

Pairing: idol Bang Chan × Gn!reader

Genre: fluff, angst, friends to potential lovers, fic (1.6k words)

Prompt: "Even ten years from now, if you haven't found somebody I promise I'll be around. Tell me when you're ready. I'm waiting"

Warnings: for a short moment there's a bit of unrequited love, happy ending tho. Mentions of insecurity back to the trainee days.

A/n: the longest fic I've ever done, I'm kinda proud of it ngl

Patience might be Chan's biggest virtue, he thinks to himself. By seeing where he's right now and where he was ten years ago, he smiles. He couldn't agree more with that statement.

2014

He still remembers the first time he saw you.

Monthly evaluation. At this point, Chan should already be used to this whole process of the trainee life. However, that day felt particularly depressing to him. Hopeless, he would say.

He had found out that JYP was about to debut a new group. A girl group. And as much as Bang Chan tried to be completely happy for his friends who could finally try and debut, he had to admit he was somewhat jealous. Four years of training and he felt like he was heading towards nowhere.

Still, he tried to practice. He sang the song he would showcase so many times he reached the point of not even feeling the words leaving his mouth. He was so lost he also didn't notice the presence of someone else in the practice room. That is, until you clapped.

Chan turned his head towards you, low-key surprised. He recognised you as the child of one of the Got7's staff. He couldn't remember your name though. He doubted he even heard it at all.

"Sorry" you finally spoke. Your voice was pretty "I'm looking for my dad. Your voice is very beautiful though. You're doing well." And with a thumbs up you went away.

Chan couldn't help but laugh. Now that was random. He could barely process what happened. But you complimented him. It had been a while since he last heard a genuine compliment.

Somewhere inside his mind, he repeated his words nonstop, filling him with motivation and hope. He also was trying to remember to ask your name later.

2016

He did remember to ask your name after all. Y/n L/n. The pronunciation of your name was beautiful, almost like a melody. Honestly, after two years of knowing you, he could affirm that your existence itself was like a sweet melody.

You both became friends, good ones at that. He also found himself developing feelings for you. That was the saddest part of it all in his opinion.

Even though he hadn't known you for so long, he couldn't see life without you. To live without your horrible jokes (that he always found funny), without your sunshine-like personality (even though most people wouldn't describe you like that. Maybe you were his personal dose of light) felt like a nightmare.

However, it felt a bit cruel that he needed to live like that. He wanted to be an idol. You were the one who was his biggest incentive. Then why, to have a romance with you, could bring problems to his career? It was almost as if destiny liked to make chan suffer.

Pick one.

Happily, Chan was patient. So patient that he decided to wait for you as long as needed. He had hopes that any time now, you would come to him. And he would be ready.

Meanwhile, he focused on becoming an idol. He couldn't give up now, especially given the fact that he knew you'd be in the front row, cheering for him louder than everyone else.

2018

He kept his promise: he followed his dream, finally achieving the so exciting debut, and still waited for you, his crush developing into the most sincere love he ever felt.

However, you had other plans. Of course, you were still there for him. You were probably the one who got the happiest with the results of the survival show. You spent countless nights with him on the practice room and in the studio. You were seeing his dream come true in first hand.

But this time, there was someone else besides you: your current boyfriend. Chan really doesn't know why he didn't think this could've happened. Of course, you were dating. You were smart, beautiful and had so much love to give. Someone else would've fallen for you at some point. And it was unfair of him to expect you to be single, waiting for an empty promise.

The saddest part of it was that your boyfriend was a nice guy. It was clear he loved you. He even made an effort to love everyone who you loved, including Chan himself. You were happy around him.

Maybe it was a blessing in disguise. Chan got the job, you got someone to love - someone who could adore you without being scared of the media - and you both still got each other in the end.

Maybe that was what Chan could have. It's okay, right?

2020

The downfall of Chan's patience at last.

Although you both were still as close as you always were, life was leading each of you in your own direction.

You had a job, he had a job. You had your friends, he had his members. You had your own house, he had the dorms. You had your boyfriend, he didn't have a partner. But it was okay because he didn't even have the time after all.

Still, he tried to fall for someone else during this period. Being in this industry for two years now, he had the opportunity to meet a lot of people. Some fancied him, some tried to take a step further in a somewhat relationship. Some even wanted to just have fun. Chan swears he tried to give in most of the time.

Needless to say he failed at every try. He couldn't come close to someone without wishing it was you instead. His short answers were compared to how sweetly he talked to you. He didn't even bother to call people or have long conversations. He knew it was only a matter of time until his mind started the undesired comparison.

Maybe it was what the job required. Maybe it was because of his lack of time. Han disagrees though. Chan remembers how his friend insisted on the fact that his leader wouldn't even try with other people. But it wasn't his fault either, as it was a subconscious thing. Chan's mind was still wrapped around you. And his heart wanted to disagree, but it all goes down the moment he finds out you and your boyfriend, now your ex, had broken up.

Although he tried hard to deny, he couldn't help but still wait for you. No matter if there was a light at the end of the tunnel or if it was only darkness. He would wait.

2022

Something in your brain has switched, and Bang Chan can't say he really liked the difference.

Of course, you were still the greatest person he ever met. You were still his sunshine. But it seemed like you were tired. Your conception of life and love wasn't as bright as it once was and Chan couldn't help but feel worried about it.

For him, who has loved you deeply for over eight years now, to see you giving yourself less credit and affection hurt him. He doesn't know why and when it happened, but your brain was trying to shut down all genuine feelings one could offer to you. You thought you were, maybe, undeserving of it all.

Honestly, to see you slowly losing your light has wounded Chan way more than all his past experiences: from his fear of failure to his disappointment upon meeting your ex boyfriend. Almost as an instinct,he tried to solve the situation. This time, patience wouldn't do.

Without even noticing, he started to love you more. To actually show you how he cared for you, to put his feelings into words and actions. At first, your heart tried to deny any possible affection, but it soon realised it wasn't possible. Not when Chan didn't even hesitate on showing the entire world how you were worthy of love. And not once he showed it as a challenge or a burden. He was by your side, and he never made it seem hard.

The best part of it all was that none of you noticed it. He started to open up to you to try and protect you,and you opened up to him in order to heal and protect his feelings. Maybe that was patience finally showing itself as a virtue.

2024

Ten years later, it finally happened.

Honestly, Chan was still a bit suspicious. There was no way he was actually seeing this, right? Maybe he was becoming delusional after all. Maybe he started to hallucinate because of his desires. But at the same time, it felt too real.

The way you looked at him, that is. It was just a normal conversation between old friends. Between gossips and laughs, there was absolutely no reason for you to look at him like this. So lost in thought, with this shimmer in your eyes that Chan knew way too well. He knew it because he had it too.

It was love. Not the one nurtured by friends or family. The one shared just between lovers. And he was so sure of it because he knew he looked at you in the exact same way you were looking at him right now.

He smiles. For a moment, you're a bit lost, wondering if you lost a joke or an important moment. That, however, makes him laugh. He couldn't believe he just saw you fall in love on the first row.

Ah, he's been patient. Now, he can't wait for you to realise what just happened. Either way, he knows with a smile on his face that he'll be waiting for you.

I promise I'll be around.

Masterlist | you'll probably like: summer with you

Thank you for reading <3 let me know what you think about it!

Taglist (open!): @yuyubeans @dandelions-143

Dividers by @dollywons

Credits for images 1 , 2 and 3

[charpeach]

I think you've created the best leshy and the best heket, both in terms of design and the posts and reblogs you've made.

but I would like to tell you that frogs don't have tails, heket is not a tadpole and that anura literally means tailless

Hi. I appreciate your message and thank you for the kind words about my designs.

Since the topic of Heket's tail seems to be appearing quite frequently in my and other artist's ask boxes, here's what I have to say.

This is your reminder that it is not okay to comment on people's artistic choices like that.

Art is art, and it begins in the artist.

Art exists to express its creator. It's to put their ideas, their love and passion towards a character or a franchise as a whole into something that others can see (listen to, read, touch, I'm not speaking just about paintings).

Art is a shared experience. It is to be observed.

And it is not an artist's job to try and fit their work into every frame that some people on the internet may have created for themselves.

Heket is not a frog. She may appear so, but her existence in a regural frog's body had ended very long time ago.

She's a goddess. A fallen and defeated one, at last, but the divine essence has intervened with her existence so much that it can't ever be taken away from her.

Frogs aren't fifteen-ish times the lamb's height. They don't have additional sets of eyes and the definitely do not have some weird crosses and tower looking like things sticking out their head. Oh, right, and they don't have tails too.

Cult of the lamb is a fantastic fictional world, with magic, relics, gods and ???. Narinder used to possess an ability to rip his face open and detach his eyeballs from their sockets to have a fight with lamb.

I don't see any good reason why in given circumstances Heket's current body can't have a tail. She still has other eyes and crosses, even though I don't include the latter in my art.

Once again, art is art and my design is my design. I've made that decision and I'm well aware that it may not be accurate to real life biology. Question awaits, why in the world should it?

I used to grow toadpoles into frogs in an aquarium a while ago. I've watched them go through every stage of development, I've seen them change and transform, and it isn't a momentary process. The tail doesn't suddenly fall off. The toadpoles first grow their back legs, then front ones, and by the time the latter are fully formed, they still have their tail for about a day or two. So, here's your biological explanation: her current body is very, very young.

I chose to include the tail in the design as a metaphor of bishop's rebirth. Her mind may be old, but right now she's like a child in a world that is so new and unfamiliar to her. She has to go through everything that all young people have to.

This post might seem just out of place, as if I'm looking too much into a simple comment like that one. But I've seen just one too many artists bullied into thinking that their ideas or choices aren't valid and do not matter. They were forced to change their beautiful works because someone else had told them to.

So let me tell you something instead.

You don't have to change your art. You can make whatever artistic choices you want, and they are valid, and they are beautiful, because they are yours.

We wouldn't have a quarter of the diversity and creativity in art if a long time ago one artist their contemporaries claimed to be weird and incorrect submitted to them and returned to only drawing what they thought were allowed.

Frames are to be broken.

I love you all, thank you for reading this.

[royboyfanpage]

Okay a post by @mew-poo got me thinking about Titans (1999) #15-#16 again, and I think I noticed something. This may be absolute bs, I haven't slept in two days so I might be doing analysis that doesn't exist, but-

I think Roy is the only one of the fab five who doesn't hold grudges.

Essentially the comics, particularly #15, focus on the fab five being stranded on an island with Gargoyle, who is bringing their personal resentments and grudges to light, causing a lot of tensions between the team. But one thing I've noticed is that the different arguments Roy makes are rarely centred around anything that happened between him and the others off the island. The main issues for him are-

-the current situation, or-

-regarding Lian. Comparatively, the things that the others say to him, such as Garth bringing up his addiction arguably unnecessarily-

-Donna suggesting that Roy's stupid for thinking their relationship will last (and later insulting him for leaving after she said that)-

-and Dick questioning his commitment to the Titans (which I won't post a panel of due to Tumblr photo limit, so imagine it's here), it's clear to see a difference. Despite being on an island intended to highten negative emotions, Roy never actually brings up anything anyone's done in the past (at least not yet) unless he's actively prompted to by someone else, like his defending himself from Dick's criticism-

-and the only time he really brings anything up without a prompt (prior to the end) is STILL in reference to something that was said to him on the island as opposed to years ago.

I think that makes a lot of sense for Roy as a character. He's a very practical man, and so it makes sense that he wouldn't dwell on old grudges compared to current issues he's faced with. It could also, at least partially, explain why it takes Roy so long to recognise that Garth is mad at his teasing. Roy reacts strongly in the moment to issues in his life and relationships rather than letting them brew (at least this era of Roy does, his reactions were different in the Snowbirds era), which may make it harder for him to see that someone *is* harbouring a grudge against him that they haven't acted on- that's just not how his brain works.

And then, there's the moment where Roy does snap.

I don't think that Roy's dialogue here stems from a grudge, and it's not based in negativity. As mentioned earlier in the comic, Gargoyle thrives on negativity, that was what was keeping them in purgatory. However, Roy's rant and punch was what managed to free them. It's not based in bitterness but rather... I guess violently constructive criticism? Roy doesn't like seeing Dick stuck in Bruce's shadow, and his tirade is based in concern for Dick more than anything, a wake-up call. And anything similar to bitterness in this is rather based on the double standards towards Dick- everyone has to walk on eggshells around Dick's issues, whereas Roy's issues are constantly brought up (Roy's addiction is mentioned in almost every comic with him I've read). He's angry that his friends will step in and give *him* a wakeup call, but they let Dick spiral without stepping in.

Anyway I'm very tired and forgot my point halfway through writing this, so do with this as you will and reinterpretations are more than welcome.

[more-better-words]

fic author interview

Yoinked this from @ladytharen because it looked like fun. Hope that's not presumptuous of me. <.<

Tagging @deadheaddaisy, @phoenixflames12, @butcharondir, and anybody else who'd like to play.

1. How many works do you have on AO3?

60! That's a nice round number.

2. What’s your total AO3 word count?

Currently 593,580 - though in fairness, nearly a third of that is a single fic.

It was a different time back when I wrote that.

3. What are your top 5 fics by kudos?

The four fics of my Built to Last series (though not in order, lol)

What We Build Here

For the Duration

From the Ground Up

The Place We Call Home

And rounding out the top 5, a Dirk Gently's Holistic Detective Agency fic!

Lay Down the Beat 

4. Do you respond to comments? Why or why not?

Absolutely! And because I have very little self-control, I will often do so within minutes of receiving them! 😅

5. What’s the fic you’ve written with the angstiest ending?

Hmmm. I don't really do angst - I mean, I'll write stories where angst happens, but that's rarely the point of the story. If the plot demands a dash of angst, then, much like a chocolate recipe that needs some salt, it will get its angst. But I don't really set out to write A Series of Sad Events in Which the Characters Are Sad; that's just not my style or my taste.

So I can't really say that ANY of my stories have an angsty ending. Oh well.

6. What’s the fic you’ve written with the happiest ending?

With the above in mind, happy endings are basically a guarantee, at least up to a point. 😆 I let my darlings be happy, I let them get married and have things work out, because it's fiction, dammit, and I can.

That being said, probably the happiest of all would be just about any of my Trip/T'Pol fic, because I let them get married and have kids and successful careers and be surrounded by friends and family who love and support them because SCREW YOU CANON.

7. Do you write crossovers?

No, I don't think my brain's wired for that. I just...can't seem to.

8. Have you ever received hate on a fic?

Never on AO3 (okay, I once got snippily told I'd mistagged something, but that wasn't hate). I have gotten hate here on Tumblr, though never anything specific, just general "u suck" which...whatever.

9. Do you write smut? If so, what kind?

For a long time, I did not.

That answer has since changed.

As for what kind...the sweetest, fluffiest, most loving, happy, vanilla, tooth rotting smut ever.

10. Have you ever had a fic stolen?

Not to my knowledge, and I seriously doubt I ever would. I'm rather niche.

11. Have you ever had a fic translated?

Again, niche. Haven't yet, doubt I will.

12. Have you ever co-written a fic before?

Years ago, I worked on an AU fic project with a friend that was very cool and a lot of fun. None of it ever got published, though.

13. What’s your all-time favorite ship?

Which ever one I'm writing right now. 😁

14. What’s a WIP that you want to finish but don’t think you ever will?

I wouldn't mind finishing my Shadowrun: Dragonfall fic The Haven. Maybe some day.

15. What are your writing strengths?

Dialogue, baby! I can have two characters sit and talk to each other FOREVER.

16. What are your writing weaknesses?

Action and physical description. Even when I can clearly see a room where action is occurring in my mind, I have real trouble describing it on the page.

17. What are your thoughts on writing dialogue in other languages in a fic?

I used to not have any, then I started making up words and phrases in my own version of Andorian for my Trek fic.

And I still don't really have many thoughts, because I'm sure I'm doing it wrong.

18. What was the first fandom you wrote for?

Hmmmm. Pretty sure there's some BtVS fic of mine still existent on LiveJournal. 😅

19. What’s a fandom/ship you haven’t written for yet but want to?

I'd love to write Discworld (I adore Carrot/Angua), but Discworld is already so perfect. It would have to be an absolute gem of an idea.

20. What’s your favorite fic you’ve written?

Whichever one I just finished. 😄

[bitchyfoxymama]

I Wanna Ruin Our Friendship - Rhaenyra x F!Reader - Modern AU

Alternatively: We Should Be Lovers Instead

Warnings: friends to lovers, lesbian x bisexual, the children still exist in this!, Alicent playing matchmaker, brief mention of homophobia, Daemon and Harwin, Fluff, smut will be in part 2!

A/N: it's lesbian visibility week and as your fav lesbian author it is my duty to write WxW fics this week! Boys are taking a backseat this week sorry yall!

Beta read by @howaboutcastiel

...

"Rhaenyra darling, you're my best friend," you say in front of the mirror to yourself. You've been pacing for the last 30 minutes, "I wanna ruin our friendship. We should be lovers instead. No, no, no. Ah, come on y/n you can do this!" 

Rhaenyra has had 2 failed relationships, which gave her 5 wonderful boys who all call you auntie and whom you'd die for. But it's time to put on the big girl panties and confess your feelings to her so that you can either finally get together with her or move on after she lets you down. 

"Okay okay okay," you pull out your phone and dial Alicent, your other best friend and confidant. She's the only one to know of your feelings for the Targaryen. 

"I can't do it, Ali," you whine the moment she picks up, forgoing letting her greet you. 

"Darling Y/n, if you don't confess to Nyra today, I will go over there and kick your ass. How many times have I told you she feels the same for you and has for just as long as you have?" 

"You really think she feels the same way I do?" You know she can't see the face you’re making currently, but she can hear it. 

"Y/n, you were as much her gay awakening as she was yours. Remember in 8th grade at Lannisters’ boy girl party when the bottle landed on you?" She is hoping to calm your nerves just a bit. 

"Yeah? What about it?" You try to remember that dumb party that happened nearly 2 decades ago. 

You had just gotten your braces on the very week of Jason Lannister’s birthday party. You knew none of the boys wanted to kiss you since you had braces, and that made you nervous.

You'd realized you were only into girls not even 3 months prior, but had been keeping it in, in fear of bullying and the fact that you had a very obvious not obvious crush on Rhaenyra Targaryen. You'd confided in Alicent Hightower about your realization, and she had affirmed her friendship with you even though she came from a highly religious background. She told you nothing would stop the two of you from being friends. 

You were all sitting in a circle with an empty glass bottle in the middle. You prayed to the Seven that your turn didn't land on any of the boys. Sure, Harwin and Jason were good-looking, and landing on them wouldn't be ‘bad’ per se, but you'd dread it if you actually had to kiss them. 

It was as if the Seven, the old gods and any diety out there had been looking upon you at that moment because when Rhaenyra spun the bottle instead of landing on the one person she had been hoping for—Harwin Strong, whom she had a very obvious crush on—it instead landed on you. Her best friend since diapers. 

"Uh… you can spin again, Nyra. You don't have to kiss a girl." Jason eyed you directly into your soul. Like he knew your secret. 

"Huh? No, a turn is a turn. I don't mind kissing Y/n. She's my best friend. You don't mind me kissing you, do you?" She looked at you with those beautiful lilac eyes. 

"Y-yeah, I don't mind," you managed out. 

"Then it's settled," Rhaenyra said as she started to crawl across the way to you. When she was near, she sat down and gently placed a hand on your cheek while her free hand lay on yours. She closed her eyes and leaned in. You kept yours open until the last possible second, and only when her nose brushed against your cheek did they finally close.

Her lips were soft, and they tasted like strawberries. The kiss didn’t last long, but you wished she didn't pull away when she did. You both smiled at one another. You wished you could tell her how you feel. You never expected it to take 20 years, a few failed relationships on both of your parts. 

"That was the same night she told me she had enjoyed that kiss. That you were her own gay awakening, or rather bisexual awakening," Alicent hums through the phone. 

"I-she never told me that," you blush at the thought of Rhaenyra enjoying your first kisses being with each other. 

There’s a knock at your door stopping you from continuing your conversation with Alicent. 

"Hey, Ali, I'm gonna need to call you back. There’s someone at the door.” You fail to hear the excited squeal she lets out as she tells you that you'd better answer. 

When you open the door to your apartmentment, you are met with the eyes of the woman you have been in love with since you were thirteen, at Jason Lannister's first boy-girl party. Rhaenyra Targaryen. 

"Nyra? What are you doing here—” you don't get to finish your sentence before her lips are on yours, devouring you. You are stunned, and it takes you a second to kiss her back, which causes her to pull away. You snake your fingers in her long hair and pull her back into you while you kick the door shut with your foot. 

You both tumble onto your couch, a mix of kisses and hands grabbing anywhere they can. She has one hand on the back of your head while her other is secured holding your waist.

Unfortunately, oxygen is needed for both of you to live. If you could have it any other way, the sound of her moans while she’s on top of you would be enough to sustain you. 

"Do you have any idea how long I've waited for you to make a move, perzītsos?" 

Little Flame. She's used that name on you for years, but hearing her say it as you've both just finished making out on your couch. It’s different. 

You hold her face in your hands as you stare up at her, a small smile gracing your lips. 

"You never seemed interested. You were off with Harwin and then Daemon. I didn't want to get my hopes up, but when I called Ali after pacing for half an hour worrying about what to say to you, she finally told me what I'd been waiting for since we were thirteen. That you had felt that same spark I did all those years ago." 

Rhaenyra lets out a hardy laugh when you mention Alicent’s name. She leans down and kisses you once more. 

"Ali sent me a text telling me to confess today. I said ‘to hell with it’ and came straight over." 

Your smile grows bigger on your face as you realize something.

"Hey Nyra? I want to ruin our friendship. We should be lovers instead." 

She smirks down at you as her hair curtains you both.

"Good, because we have a lot of catching up to do." she says as she kisses you once more.

[laurellerual]

Arya Lady of Harrenhal during the Long Night

At the bottom of my inbox there's an anonymous message from months ago that says “could you do Arya with Nymeria during the long night? Fighting together?”. I haven't replied yet and the reason is that when I think about this scene, the image of GOT 8x03 pops up in my mind. Will Arya fight through the Long Night, sword in hand? I'm not that sure.

Then the other day I came up with this idea that I proposed to you in a survey: “Winterfell falls, the northeners have to escape South, Harrenhal is the main citadel, Arya as lady of Harrenhal during the Long Night”. And I must say I'm surprised with the result. It won "I see where you are coming from, and I like it" with 33% of the votes.

But many, rightly so, have chosen "I'll wait for you to elaborate", so here we are.

A role

So Jon and Dany are the ones with the army and the dragons, Tyrion is the smart one with the experience and Bran is the one with the magical powers (sorry I'm simplifying, just to summarize). It's not hard to imagine that they'll find their place in the White Walkers storyline.

And Arya? Use the valyrian steel sword she doesn't have to slay the undead? Will Jon allow her to be on the front lines? Is Arya really stupid enough to think she can do it?

She will be at most 12/13 years old and the only sword lessons she has received are those of Syrio, she is not a great swordswoman, especially if she has to face adults on a battlefield. The things that the FMs are teaching her don't seem suitable for this kind of situations. I guess she could contribute by warging Nymeria and leading her pack, but if that is the case it wouldn't be necessary for her to be physically there.

Whatever this role is it must be relevant 'cause Martin counted her among the five key characters, one of the first to be created and then decided to waste a lot of ink by telling us about her.

Harrenhal

I start with the assumtion that the Battle for the Dawn will take place in the Riverlands, that it will not be possible to stop the White Walkers at Winterfell and consequently there will be an exodus of people from the North to the South. If you don't agree or you want an explanation about it, you can read my last post: Harrenhal during the Long Night.

And which of the main characters has a strong relationship with Harrenhal?

Thematic connections

The girl has a long and complex relationship with her mother's native land and a strong thematic connection with water that you surely have read about in other metas. Most of the major events in Arya's life take place here.

Not only the Red wedding, meeting Jaqen, the Weasel soup, the separation from Nymeria, but also Mycah's death in which she realizes for the first time that her father is not as powerful as she thinks, that the injustice of the world is deeper than she thought and that especially for the nobles the suffering of the smallfolk is totally irrelevant.

Harrenhal is the castle of which she becomes the ghost. And she really is the ghost of Harrenhal, standing in front of that Heart tree, probably like her late aunt years before, as she hears a voice from the trees reminding her of her real name.

Useful knowledge

Arya knows these lands directly, crosses them, lives them, knows their inhabitants, their opinions and sides in the war. It isn't a theoretical knowledge but a practical one. As Jon Snow recalls "The map is not the land, my father often said".

But it's even more intimate than that because Arya dreams of those lands every night, she sees them through Nymeria's eyes. The wolf is currently the only undisputed ruler in that lawless place. Do you remember the image of Harrenhal tormented by the tremendous howl of the wind and wolves outside the walls?

Arya also knows Harrenhal on all its levels. She physically scrubbed the floors of every floor of every tower and she scoured all the walls in search of an unguarded gate.

She has experienced the classes and roles that exist within the castle and its management. She had to deal with armigers, cooks and blacksmiths. She has worked her way up the chain of command from the humblest of servants to cupbearer and lord's messenger.

Skills and leadership

In the books we see her many times in positions where she is the person who has to make decisions, lead a group, organize little plans.

One of the main themes of her journey is justice, mercy, power and its abuse.

Then there are more or less direct parallels such as the one between Arya and Aegon the unlikely or the list of things that would make Aegon/young Griff a good ruler according to Varys.

Let's see some quotes in the books that tell us about these aspects of the character:

The one thing Arya could do better than her sister was ride a horse. Well, that and manage a household.

His father used to say that a lord needed to eat with his men, if he hoped to keep them. “Know t

he men who follow you,” she heard him tell Robb once, “and let them know you. Don't ask your men to die for a stranger."

Arya had loved nothing better than to sit at her father's table and listen to them talk. She had loved listening to the men on the benches too; to freeriders tough as leather, courtly knights and bold young squires, grizzled old men-at-arms.

Whenever her father had condemned a man to death, he did the deed himself with Ice, his great sword. “If you would take a man 's life, you owe it to him go look him in the face and hear his last words di lui,” she 'd heard him tell Robb and Jon once.

Can I be lord of a holdfast?

And here I stop because there are many others. If you are interested in this, there are meta only on this topic around tumblr.

An interesting that that connects Ned's teachings and those of the FMs is the concept that power and service are closely related.

Now let's see what FM training consists of: the ability to blend in with people, listen, gather information, learn many languages. We can add her natural ability to make friends and allies of all kinds.

This seems like the perfect package to manage a castle full of frightened people from all over the world (there will be people arriving with Dany as well), from every social class, every side of the war, who have nothing in common but the hope to survive.

Disconnected thoughts and possible parallels

This would be a very poetic situation that completes the parallel with historical Nymeria by placing Arya at the head of a group of refugees fleeing their destroyed home. In addition to giving her the possibility and the power to carry out the reflection on justice in a place that has seen so much injustice.

It's also funny how Lady Whent is introduced with great expectation right into Arya's chapters, where she thinks she can ask for her help. Yet she will never meet the Lady of Harrenhal.

And isn't it funny how she decided to name her direwolf after "some old witch queen in the songs"?

From the Alys Rivers wiki page: In 132 AC during the regency of Aegon III, a number of broken men and predatory outlaws began to gather at Harrenhal under the rule of a sorcerous witch queen. Mmmh interesting… this sound familiar, the Brotherhood without banners?

There is also Sharra, another witch queen of the Riverlands from the Age of Heroes.

Conclusions

In this place where Shagwell the Fool sang about Weasel soup maybe in the future there will be songs about Arya and the ten thousand wolves.

Thanks for reading. Mine doesn't want to be a theory that speaks of the character's endgame, but of its role during the Long Night. Let me know if I've given you something to think about, if I've convinced you, if you have other ideas on what this role might be. Or if you want to write a fanfiction with this plot.

Edit: I just discovered an old thread with a similar topic. I haven't read it yet, but I'll leave it here for the record.

[sequencefairy]

Writing Wrap-Up 2023

It is, once again, the end of the year! I wrote a lot!

First of all, I have officially published all my original stuff written for Space Fruit Press on Amazon Kindle under my penname, so if you enjoy my fic, I would love to encourage you to check out my original stuff, too, since all those dollars help me on the journey to doing that full time instead of having a full time job that really cuts into my fangirl time.

In addition to what is available on Amazon, there is another anthology of work coming from the press, and I will have a story in it! I need to write it, but it will exist. I'm very excited about this story, as well.

From a fanfic perspective, I have published only three things this year:

And I Was Never Afraid of the Dark (Oh, the Weapon You Made of My Heart) - shyan, wip, unfinished, 9.4k, demon!shane

Shane pulls Ryan out of Hell at 3:37 on a Tuesday afternoon. He’s not looking at his watch at the time, but he infers the time later after he’s finally managed to get up off the desert floor, and has hauled them both back to the car he’d parked in the lot at the trailhead a little over a week ago. Ryan’s a deadweight in Shane’s grip, head lolling back against Shane’s shoulder and body limp and unhelpful in Shane’s arms. His eyes are closed.

My Rivers Tilt Towards You - geraskier, fae!jaskier, 29k, strangers to friends to lovers, canon-divergent au

Geralt pushes the door open one-handed. As it creaks, announcing his presence, Jaskier looks up from the long table he’s sitting at. There’s a mug of something at the bard’s elbow and his songbook is open in front of him. “Geralt,” he says in greeting, and for a moment, Geralt is sure that the bard’s eyes shine in the dark, reflective like his own. He blinks, and the moment passes. Jaskier’s mouth curves into a smile. “Is it done, then?”

Coax the Cold Right Out of Me - shyan, complete, 4.1k, vampire!shane, established relationship

“Shane,” Ryan says, insistent, eyes gleaming in the dark. Shane lets his eyes fall shut, and sighs. The little red and white cooler they usually bring on shoots got left behind at the hotel, an hour and a half away in Jackson. “I’ll be fine,” he says, not looking at Ryan, and ignoring the ache in his gums. He’s gone longer without, he can make it through one shoot and then the drive back before being sated. “You don’t have to be.”

(more rambling under the cut)

So I spent too long making this, but whatever. Let's have fun with infographics, baby!

Anyway, interesting look at the last couple of years for me! I have clearly been in a quality over quantity place regarding wordcounts + things published over the last few years.

I have, over the past couple of years, been feeling like my writing has changed quite a lot, both in terms of what I am interested in writing, and also what I am interested in publishing both to AO3 and as original work.

I think there's also probably something in here about the fall out from the pandemic, as well as something about the fact that I've been medicated for the ADHD for a year now, and I've had to learn how to write in a way that is not an unhealthy coping mechanism and instead as something I do for fun, as a hobby that I enjoy.

What I have been producing lately, in 2023, is some of my favourite writing I've ever done, and I feel like I really levelled up this year in terms of tackling themes and ideas that the me of 2021 wouldn't have even imagined was possible.

With that said, the other fun comparison across years is this one:

Clearly, when you only publish three things in a year, it skews your stats, but I do also think that My Rivers was definitely a thing I needed to finish and write in order to become the person who is currently sitting on about 70k or so of active WIP for a different fandom altogether.

I adore, always, all the love that my shyan fic gets, this fandom is demonstrative in a way that no other fandom has ever been for me, and I've made the best kind of friends in this fandom. Even if I never publish another shyan fic ever (which I am certainly not saying is the case), I still treasure every single one of these fics which allowed me to meet people who've become extremely fucking important to me.

In addition to published fic, of course, the other thing to talk about is all that stuff I'm sitting on that hasn't been published (yet).

These are the seven most active of my WIPs. I am desiring to publish Moonlight on Broken Glass before the end of December, but since I'm the porn and instead of writing it, I keep going back to refine other parts of it, I have some doubts in my ability to get a draft done in the next few days.

All together, that's about 82k of wip, in various states of done that I'm working on. So, really, this year, I've written like, well over 100k, which is always my quiet goal going into any given year.

I don't have anything else to say about this, but I had fun making these little pictures and looking at all my wips. It was, all told, a good year for writing, even if it started off kinda slow.

[good7luck]

personal, real life

negative, depressing (giving me a headache, at least)

mention of illness, hospital, passing away, etc

asking for your opinion(s)

(more under the cut)

.

This is very personal all of a sudden,

but I'd really appreciate your thoughts on this OTL

I know I cannot provide every single info and the full context, but I did my available best for now.

Summary exists at the end!

.

My mother (full housewife) has been ill and currently hospitalized since a while ago (as a part of her medical treatment, not some unexpected emergency), which would last for a month or so.

My father (full worker) has been pretty kind to her overall and helped her with everything needed.

But...he has had a problem with her housework ways, mainly with piles of stuff (which is sure a lot tbh). Recently, he has tried to randomly "organize" things (unbox, see, re/move etc) at home multiple times, which annoyed and stressed her very much everytime.

Now that she's in the hospital and not coming back anytime soon, it seems he decided to take it as a "chance" to re-organize all the stuff piled he didn't like in the house. Even if he's obviously not young in 40s or such, not so healthy, and still needs to go to work almost everyday.

The thing is...he's even going to dispose of her old religion-related books (Buddhism), including mostly given as presents when she was doing some volunteer works at some religious place(s) years ago (maybe some were purchased, idk). It's not that she read them often, but she has saved them there for years for a reason. And yet, today he already took many of them out of the shelf and put them in boxes to remove later (maybe in 2 days). Of course, he did NOT get any permission from her and did NOT tell her any of this at all.

In fact, I, too, have had a problem with a lot of the boxes and things she has purchased but often abandoned for years, even if I understand it's cheaper to buy things a lot on sale at once. I do feel very irritated when I newly find a bunch of food which expired 2021 or such.

Still...I wouldn't carelessly touch her religion-related books or such?? Especially when she's suffering from the illness right now, and the religion has been one of her rare comforts (even long, long before the illness), and the books are basically her private, not his?? I'm not even so religious myself, but this looks quite rude and abusive??

Unfortunately, he sincerely thinks he's ~finally~ doing the "right" job that should've been done long ago, and realistically it's plain impossible to persuade him. He would never listen, much less change his mind because of me (or even her, perhaps).

All I can possibly do is probably to hide her books. But it's quite a lot for my room; he's checking almost all the spots in the house, and no guarantee he wouldn't enter my room. I'm not sure if it would even work tbh, as he seems sooo determined about throwing away "unnecessary" things, and he might notice some are missing idk.

Honestly, I'd like to let her know about what's going on to her books, so that she's at least aware and can make her own choice. But...she's literally sick and very weakened, she had better not get stressed. She's going to take some serious treatment soon, which might or might not succeed. Strictly speaking...the possibility of her passing away in the hospital is not zero. It's surely not a good idea to add more problems there.

Before she got hospitalized, I did tell her that he might dig up the whole house, and she said he wouldn't cuz he should be too busy with his work (especially when she cannot do the housework for him). I was more joking, and she sure didn't take it seriously, but now my concern came true, much worse than I ever imagined.

I'm pretty sure she'd get super angry, no matter WHEN she gets to learn about this. Or, would she actually be able to take it better if she hears about this after coming back home? Cuz it's all "ended" then, after all?

I just...don't understand why he had to make things (even more) complicated and worse. Seriously, it's even not like she's very likely to pass away soon. He didn't mean this for sure, but more than often he doesn't realize how insensitive and impolite his action can be. Her religion books were not so many and so not a real problem, in the first place...

Summary:

My mother (housewife) is currently hospitalized due to her serious illness. My father (worker) is going to dump many of her old religion books (Buddhism) in 2 days, which were already half-boxed today. I could try hiding them in my room at best, which might not succeed. And/or I could contact her and inform her of what happened, which would give her a chance but definitely stress her a lot.

...I feel I'm probably being ridiculous and immature here, but I'm genuinely so stressed about this now, especially when I have my own real life problems to take care of as well OTL Maybe I just wanted to vent idk ^^;; I cannot guarantee I'd strictly follow the poll result or comments, but I'd like to know what other people would do. I appreciate your attentions!

.

(sorry this post cannot be reblogged and can be deleted in the future. this post is also not meant for screenshot or such spreading for obvious reasons. thanks for understanding...!)

[mrjoeiconis-blog]

Some words I wrote in 2015 on the anniversary of Bloodsong of Love closing.

Theater isn't permanent. That is the special thing about it- it's there and it's gone and everyone knows that it's all temporary. A show exists on Broadway or in a backyard in Florida or in the gymnasitorium of a high school in Long Island or behind music stands at Ripley Grier and then it's gone. It's gone after a performance or after a week or after twenty years, but nothing is forever and Every Show Is Your Last Show. The people who are in the room to see any given performance are always the only people who will have been in the room to see that performance and the audience and the creators all work together to give birth to an experience that is singular and magical and happens in real time and then disappears forever.

As a writer who writes shows, the temporary nature of theater is alternately invigorating and debilitating to me. I struggle with it constantly, the fact the this thing that gives me a reason for living is also the thing that frequently makes me want to bash my head against a wall.

I find myself thinking about all this because BLOODSONG OF LOVE closed five years ago tonight, and of all the shows I've done and the things I've written and projects that never got off the ground and the musicals that didn't realize their expected commercial potential,

BLOODSONG is the one that remains constantly on my mind. Not a day goes by that I don't think about the experience of making that show with that amazing group of artists and not a day goes by that I don't wish that more people could have seen it.

My greatest theatrically-inclined dream is that the gang and I get to do a production of

BLOODSONG again one day. It played 30 performances five years ago and as miraculous as that run was and as grateful as I am for it, I still believe the thing deserves to be seen for (at least) a few more performances.

I wanted to put that sentiment out into the universe tonight and, luckily, Social Media makes it really easy to do that. I would've gone knocking door to door to tell people my hopes for BLOODSONG and my feelings on theater-in-general, but I feel like my current New Jersey neighbors wouldn't have cared. And also would've called the cops because l'm not wearing pants.

So, yes. There that is. There is no point and now it's back to work on the graphic design stuff I'm doing to make money (boo hoo whatever) and the script of the show that I'm currently in rehearsals for (theatrical circle of life, yay.) I just wanted to take a moment to light a virtual candle for that musical I made that time that you may or may not have seen. Anniversaries are good excuses to write about things.

5.9.10

[hotforharrison]

It's been about a week, and I'm back to the cathartic land of the void.

Out of the 371 tracks on the Spotify Taylor Swift Complete Collection playlist, the shuffle feature chose probably the sole and single one that could reduce me to a crying mess -- happiness from evermore.

I had listened to it exactly once when the album came out before I decided I wasn't going to listen to it again because it felt vaguely like some things that were starting to go on with my marriage.

I didn't add it to my liked songs and completely forgot it existed until shuffle thrust it upon me today.

It went from vague to some of it being very clear and applicable.

I know it's not supposed to be a sad song, but I'm still clinging desperately to my wishful thinking and not ready to give up yet. I've been with him almost half my life, and I don't know how to just let that go when I have even the tiniest sliver of hope left.

I so easily upset him and ruin our time together, with things that wouldn't elicit the some response if it were his girlfriend in my position. I know it's because of all the heartache I've caused him in the past, that his fuse when it comes to me has shortened over the years and only has the tiniest bit left. He didn't deny it.

I admitted to him that I spend all of my time with him walking on eggshells, questioning everything I'm going to do or say in my mind, and still fail consistently. He told me it wasn't healthy to live that. I told him that I know.

Everything about this is hard, but the hardest thing is seeing him have that happiness that used to be ours, that I want more than anything to recapture and have again.

We were each other's person for a lot of years -- years that I took for granted until they abruptly ended last fall. Now, he has a new person, and she has him, and they have happiness.

I have what feels like a gaping wound in my chest and only a box of cheap off brand bandaids to tend to it.

We'd always had a sexually open relationship since we met in person for the first time and started long distance dating, but we transitioned into a polyamorous one 9 years ago.

While my husband has had a number of girlfriends and women he's seen over the years, I stopped trying to date anyone else 8 years ago, after I found and briefly had my second "boyfriend" ever (my husband being the first). "Boyfriend" is a term I use very loosely for that relationship.

And here I sit 8 years later, once again wanting to find a boyfriend, with the term not used loosely this time around.

I'm not going to start trying to date again until I've lost quite a bit more weight.

I told my husband to be honest with me and asked him what he would think if he met me today for the first time. He said he would have found me sweet and fun to talk to, but I wouldn't be on his dating radar.

He didn't answer in an unkind way, and I'm not upset with him for how he feels.

I mean I also have an upper limit, based on what activities the person can do. If we can't spend a day at, like, the natural science museum or zoo or aquarium or a larger mall or something along those lines and walk around there without constantly stopping, it's a compatibility issue.

As far as my current progress goes -- my highest weight was 352.8 lbs. I started on September 22 of last year at 340.6 lbs. My 2024 starting weight was 309.1 lbs. My last weigh in was on March 1 at 295.4 lbs. Before my ankle surgery was scheduled for January 19, I wanted to get into the 280s at some point in February, which unsurprisingly didn't happen when I was unable to walk a single step for several weeks.

I obviously still have a very long way to go to get down to a healthier weight. The upper range for me being a "healthy" BMI at my height is 169 lbs.

I've been pretty on point with my moderate keto diet for months now, but there's an unfortunate limit that's been placed on me for activity.

My foot and ankle doctor said I'm not allowed to start working out until I'm cleared to do so. The soonest that would possibly be is my 12 week follow up on April 8. Over a month away.

I was cleared to walk again a week ago tomorrow, though, and I've been doing that in moderation.

For the first few days, my stupid calves were killing me after not being used for several weeks. Adding in multiple stretching sessions a day and massaging them helped clear that up. That pain is fortunately 100% gone now like it never existed in the first place.

I wasn't expecting to, but I'm definitely not getting in those 10,000 step days I aimed for last year. So far, it's been a "good" day if I do 3,000 or so steps, and it's been up in the air for whether I end up regretting it the next day or not.

My goal is to gradually up the daily steps starting this week with a baseline of 3000 increased by 50 steps per day, and dial back if the swelling and pain flare up.

On an unrelated note, I also wrote another 2000-ish words over the last week for one of the Harrison fics I was working on. The story is unfortunately not to that point chronologically yet, though, so for now it's a future snippet. It was very clear in my head, and I didn't want to lose it, so into the a new future chapter document it went.

[shadylex]

Nine people you'd like to know better

tagged by @yansurnummu thank you so so much!

3 ships

Lets goooooo, starting off with one that lives rent free in my head is Yera/Teldryn.

I forgot when but I didn't immediately get interested in Teldryn even after the Dragonborn DLC came out. It was a fic that had him as a side character that got me interested, then I started looking up other Ao3 fics with him in it and it's all I think about when daydreaming about Yera.

Yera by the time she gets to Solstheim has already gone through two world ending events and is super tired and ready to kick this Miraak character's ass and isn't with her friend Lydia at the moment so she needs to hire a mercenary to guide her around on account she is blind and uh oh. Good with a sword with a handsome voice? Basically got a crush on him second 1 and it's downhill from there.

Working on like an intro fic for the two of them but I can never seem to get it right but it'll get there one day.

Next is Yera/Miraak funnily enough, I am not alone in wanting that old book man. I just think that with Yera's incredibly strong personality and also probably kicking his ass while saving him would mesh well with him. I also have the thought that if Yera hung around Miraak long enough, he would convince her of taking the Rudy Throne on the base that they both are Dragon soul so they ought to rule everything.

But what if Yera had two hands, and she held hands with Teldryn and Miraak in the same house wouldn't that be wild haha... unless?

And my last ship is silly, but only because I recently re-watched Full Metal Alchemist but it's Miles/Olivier Armstrong. I love the Briggs portion of the show so much, I usually start there when I want a quick rewatch of the show. I just think they're neat, and people write some fun fics about them together so I'm having a lot of fun going through them and yeah.

First ship Had to be my oc/canon pairing Lexen/Riku from Kingdom Hearts. Lexen is my oldest most precious OC who has gone through some drastic changes in life that she is unrecognizable in the beginning and I'm almost embarrassed by the ship but I was like 14 and Riku was edgy and that's the kind of characters I liked so I could never exist haha

Last song 6.24 by Danger (Furi OST) I heard this song being used as a fight montage song and I had to find the original and welp I'm listening to a bunch of synth songs now

Currently reading Nothing at the moment, however my partner has the Elric of Melnibone series I got them for Christmas and they're done with them now, so it's my turn to read them!

Last film Me and my partner went to watch Godzilla Minus One and omfg that was so so scary a movie but also how do you have a monster film be also about survivors guild its so so good I highly recommend watching it as soon as you can!

Currently craving

We have so many noodles in the house right now but I was craving some instant noodles something fierce a few minutes ago. I opted to go with some pico de gallo I made as a before bed snack but the noodles... they call for me in my dreams

Tagging @icicleteeth @scalecallerpeak @khajiitclaws and whoever else wants to join in

[sapphicneige]

Chapters: 11/? Words: 37936 Rating: M Main Relationship: Blake Belladonna/Yang Xiao Long Main Characters: Blake, Yang, Ruby, Weiss, Ilia, Sun, and all the other faves Other Tags: Alternate universe - modern, angst, past abuse, overcoming trauma, hurt/comfort, healing, slow burn, eventual smut

Summary: Blake is just a bartender. Yang is one of the most famous singers in the world. Through a series of mishaps, Yang ends up agreeing to perform at the bar that Blake works at.

Despite all their differences, they both recognise something in the other. But it's not like it could ever lead to anything… right?

This could potentially be the last update this fic gets, if you're curious, I've copied a lot of ramblings over from the notes on the fic and they'll be below:

Okay so... with this chapter releasing we have now overtaken where I ended up stopping writing this story well over a year ago now. I hinted that the notes at the beginning of this chapter will be long, but I actually think I'm going to break it up a little bit so the notes at the end of the chapter will probably contain more of what I wanted to say.

So, I should probably address the first question you might have. What does catching up mean for this story? Firstly, it will not be a weekly release anymore. I can't really say when new chapters will release, or if there even will be any more. I know when I started posting this, I didn't intend to continue past this chapter, however, the second half of this chapter didn't exist back then and, in writing it, I definitely regained some inspiration to continue this story. Currently, I definitely want to keep updating this story, but I currently can't promise how often I'll be able to update or how long I'll be able to keep it up. I think I've mentioned before, but my writing style has changed so much since I wrote this story, so that's also been difficult to wrap my head around as well. I'm going to ask for a little bit of feedback, but would it be okay if there was just a shift in writing style (no direct internal thoughts for Blake, more descriptions of stuff, etc)? Like would that be too much of a change or something? I'd really like to hear your feedback on things.

Okay, so... time to just let my heart out a little bit. Thank you to everyone who has read this far into the story. Especially if you left a comment. I don't know if you realise just how much this story means to me to actually have it posted. I wrote this at a time when I was lost, not really knowing what I was doing with my life or anything. It started simply as an idea, taking my love of the song end of a life by Calliope Mori, which was still new at the time, and combining it with inspiration from a few different fics that are still some of my favourite fics of all time. In particular, let you see my wilder side (if i can see your bones) by explosivesky and you're a mountain, full of glory by lescousinsdangereux. Both these stories heavily influenced this story in some way, be it through how I was even going to start the fic, to some of the premise, to just inspiring me and making me want to write. They're both way more popular than anything I've written, but if you've never read either of them, then please go check them out!

I remember, as I was writing this, I sort of found myself, remembered why I used to like writing and felt myself swept up in the story as I used to before the writing break that basically lasted a couple of years. I would not be where I am today without this story, and I wouldn't be writing today without this story. I think that's why I want to continue it so badly, there's just so much love that I have for this story and I wish to see it finished, even if it's definitely got inconsistencies across it, I wish I could just go back and rewrite so much, but I also feel it just... wouldn't work to actually rewrite most of it. Sure, I could just go back and update things to how I write now, but that wouldn't feel right to me. It would ruin the story for me and it wouldn't be what it is. That's why I'm a little unsure whether I'll be continuing it or just leaving it as is as well. It's just hard to really focus on what the right thing to do is.

I think I'll leave things here for now. I would really appreciate any comments that you feel like leaving. It's the best way to show support, give feedback, or do anything really.

[chill-vibes-but-rainbow-panic]

Casting Prompts #2 #4 & #29

The Dark Lord, Great Sage and Hero

This is gonna be a ramble (basically just some of my headcanons and backstory I made for funsies), so be prepared, cause I have a lot to say

Correct me if I'm wrong, but I don't think we ever got any concrete establishment of time in this game.

By that I mean, we don't get told when the Dark Lord attacked, when the Dark Curse came to be, when the Great Sage encountered them, etc. And seeing as this is a magic world, it's kind of hard to try and compare it with a real world time period. (At first I would have said it's more reminiscent of the time around the Middle Ages, but then stuff like modern scientists and New Lumos exist)

But I'm not bringing this up because I have a problem with that; it's the opposite, in fact. Because this gives me a lot of room to interpret my own string of events into this game. Because I think the Dark Lord has already been terrorizing Miitopia for centuries. Just not always in their current form.

The Dark Curse took their own face hundreds of years ago, and since then, has always picked up the next best victim to choose as a body, before either wrecking them beyond use, or abandoning them for the next best vessel. That also means monsters have been roaming around, and people have been getting their faces stolen for generations now, but it's not like anyone could do anything about it, so they had to learn to live with it.

But then why has the Dark Lord not taken over yet?

Because there were always people that could do something about it. For one, there are the hundreds of other adventurers (Tanks, Warriors, Vampires, etc.) that are strewn across Miitopia, and they must obviously be able to fend off monsters to an extent, at least. And second, the Great Sage exists.

Now, I don't think it was always the same Sage. Their magic does allow them to live longer than most, but not that long. Our Sage is not older than 120 at most, I'd say. I think, it's basically just another job. Not one that you can pick yourself, though, but something you can learn, if you get mentored by the previous Great Sage. And with every Sage, their wisdom and power grew, and they could fight against the Dark Lord more efficiently.

But they also knew, that they wouldn't be able to take them down. Which is where we arrive at my last point:

I don't think that the protagonist is the first Hero.

There isn't a prophecy that chose them. The Heroes showed they were willing to help and stand up to the Dark Lord, and that's how they earned their title.

But a lack of prophecy also means a lack of guaranteed success. If their victory was set in stone, the Dark Lord would focus more on killing them, than toying with and teasing them. But they know that the Hero is defeatable. And they have defeated them, before.

Our Great Sage alone has had almost a dozen Heroes in their lifetime, some they even chose themselves. But before the protag, none of them succeeded.

They never saw them as disposable, though. To them, every Hero had worth, they were still their own, living being. But they had to watch every last one of them die.

They don't enjoy choosing Heroes to send out to battle, but they know that they have no other choice.

Now, that the Dark Lord is defeated, and The Reborn is under their care, however, the souls can rest, and the Sage can finally take their time to properly grieve. Just maybe not right in front of their new student, of course.

The Reborn's future in Miitopia would of course also be very interesting to try and piece together, but this is all that I have planned on writing for this post.

Thanks for reading :)

[positivelybeastly]

Characterisation

This is just a collection of notes regarding the way I play Beast and the few deviations from canon that I have. For the most part, probably 90-95% of what you see on panel that Hank has done, my Hank has also done, because I love the fact that this man has gone to the Dr. Seuss dimension and hung out with a Transformers character in canon, but there are one or two exceptions.

Feline Hank

Grant Morrison's New X-Men and the fake coming out. I write Hank as bisexual demiromantic, meaning he enjoys sex with more than one gender, and will engage in romantic relationships with anyone he has a strong emotional connection to. I personally read Hank as somewhat closeted during the early stages of his life, and Simon Williams, aka Wonder Man, was something of a wake-up call to the fact that he was not entirely straight.

As a result, if you bring this up with my Hank, he came out as gay around about seven years ago (current Hank is 37, for context), and clarified his bisexuality to the press not long after. I love Morrison's characterisation of Hank, but the fake coming out was just gross on many levels and I genuinely believe not only that it hurt Hank's character, but that it's a misread of his sexuality. If you want more on this, please check here.

Post-Intervention

This is a whole messed up ass situation because I'm one of the few people who genuinely thinks that Hank wouldn't have done the whole time travel thing to begin with (really just not his style), but there's some good conversations to be had about it, so you can assume that everything that happened on panel happened, just less - Bendis-y.

Also, this Hank knows magic because unlike every other damn X-writer, I actually remember that he's meant to remember everything baby human Hank did while he was in the present.

Avengers

He's my funny goodtime boy, no notes.

X-Force

This is the big one.

Ben Percy's version of Beast sucks balls and while I would have loved it if we could have avoided going full supervillain, we're here now, and while I don't like how it happened, Hank is not a saint and it's interesting to grapple with his psychology, so we're doing it but different.

This version of Beast is essentially undergoing a long, stable, controlled dissociative episode and is not what you would call sane. It's the only real way his characterisation makes sense.

In my headcanon, Abigail Brand, his longtime girlfriend, died and was resurrected while pregnant during the events of David Haller's X-Men Legacy, losing the child in the process, and finding out that his offspring had essentially been wiped from existence before he even knew about it has drained Hank of all his remaining warmth and optimism. He fundamentally does not believe that the world, or people, or life, is good anymore.

This is not an excuse.

I'm not here to give you some 2012 Loki apologism or say that he didn't do anything bad. He did. But going from where he was last in canon, in Rosenberg's Astonishing X-Men and Uncanny Avengers, to X-Force, it's the only justifiable reason he changed so much and so hard, and it's the only way the snap makes sense to me with existing canon information.

Your character does not know about this. If Hank has his way, your character will never know about this because it's not your damn business.

This version of Beast does not consider himself to be Hank McCoy anymore. He does not immediately answer to Hank, and he will never refer to himself as Hank in his internal narration. He has completely separated himself into Hank (dead) and Beast (alive - just about) because it simply hurts less and allows him to exert some degree of control over his life. He does not care what happens to him, his body, or his reputation anymore. There is only making sure that everyone else in his life is safe. Everything is expendable in pursuit of that goal.

The Irredeemable Beast

Naturally, this is going to lead to conflict.

It's also worth noting that while this version of Hank is on the plumper side, he is still physically able, agile, and a danger in a fight. I'm tired of Hank being written as useless in combat just because he's smart and smart people aren't good at fighting, which feels like it's been the case for a while now. He isn't a jobber for Kraven the Hunter.

My fic covering what this version of Hank is like, what he's doing, and what he's about.

In a nutshell, he was psychically reset back in Wolverine #35 by Jean Grey, and came back . . . mostly whole, just before the Hellfire Gala massacre. He knows he's beyond redemption, but he's going to try and do good anyway.

His mutation has changed once more, this time into a grey furred form with an accelerated, Wolverine-esque healing factor, and while he is stable, he still has underlying issues and psychological problems that will make him not the Hank you may know.

Dark Beast and Battle of the Atom

Pretty much exactly what you see on panel, though Dark Beast is obviously not a head in a jar on Sinister's desk when we interact because well yeah he wouldn't be.

No matter how sexually charged that is.

This is the basic gist of it! There are obviously a ton of other details and headcanons and such that I haven't mentioned because there's just so much, but these are the main canon divergences I can think of. If I think of anything else, they will be added to this post.

[artikgato]

10/15/2023

Well, it was raining yesterday, so I didn't go out for the jogwalk. I did today, though! It took me until like 10:30 but I did do it!

I was also up until nearly 1am last night...reading a fanfic. A Slayers fanfic. A 60+ chapter Slayers fanfic, currently unfinished, in the year of our lord twenty twenty-three. I have no excuses. I make it a policy to almost never read unfinished fanfics, for one. I also knew exactly what I was getting into when I saw the chapter count and just shrugged and went YOLO I guess?

Okay, so it all started with Anime Weekend Atlanta announced, less than a month out from their con by the way, a whole slew of new guest announcements. The schedule is out now and it's less than two weeks to the con so I think they're done doing that now, but I digress. They announced Veronica Taylor as a guest. Well, years ago I already had the honor of meeting her and getting her to sign my VHS copy of Pokémon The First movie, so I don't necessarily need her autograph on any more Pokémon stuff. But of course she's in plenty of other things, including Slayers, which is one of my absolute favorite media franchises, period. So naturally I have to get her to sign for Amelia! And Lisa Ortiz, the voice of Lina, will be a guest at a convention I'm going to in March, so I can get her to sign, too! Fantastic!

And then, because I haven't really thought about Slayers in a long time, my brain went I should cosplay from Slayers again. I've been wanting to for a while. I cosplayed Filia (from TRY) waaaaaaaaaaaay back in the day, maybe I could remake her? (I do still want to do that, FYI, talk about obscure characters though am I right?) Or despite being so tall, I've always liked Lina's character design, she'd be great. I can probably pull that off before Khromakon in March, but absolutely not before AWA. But do you know who I could pull off before AWA?

Yeah, so I actually cosplayed Xelloss all the way back in high school. I never wore him to a convention, and it was a very bad cosplay. Technically, my first cosplay. (Technically, because my actual first cosplay was a very, very very bad closet cosplay of emperor Hotohori from Fushigi Yuugi the year prior, my junior year of high school. Our high school banned Halloween costumes but a gaggle of my stupid friends and I decided to see if we could get away with just wearing regular clothes but clearly being in cosplay. So I was Hotohori, a friend braided her hair and was Duo Maxwell, etc. etc.)

Anyway, my aunt made the cloak for me, and I still have it all these years later. The rest of the cosplay would be easy, because of how skilled I am now. I can 100% do this cosplay in time for AWA, and it'll be fun! He's a pretty recognizable character from a classic anime, so while I'm sure The Kids won't recognize me, I'll get at least a few people excited to find someone else that remembers Slayers. And hey, I already cosplayed one evil purple-haired anime prettyboy this year (Okada Izou) so why not two?

So anyway, I made a deal with myself. I would go to no more than three thrift stores after work one day and see if I could find a yellow turtleneck. If I could, I would proceed with the costume. If I didn't, oh well, it's not like I don't have a closet full of cosplays to wear. And wouldn't you know it, I found the turtleneck at the third Goodwill. So I ordered a wig, and now I just need to do a few minor alterations and possibly make the staff.

And so, with Xelloss Metallium now fully on my brain, I remembered that, oh yeah, Xelloss/Filia was one of the OTPs for me back in the day. One of the very first ships I got really, really invested in. And I wondered if, in the fifteen or so years since the least time I probably looked, any good new Xel/Fil fics had been written. I mean, the last time I was really invested in the ship, Evolution-R and Revolution hadn't even come out yet! A03 didn't exist yet! What was the harm of taking just a little, tiny peak at A03, right?

And that's how I ended up binge reading a 60+ Slayers fanfiction, in the year of our Lord Of Nightmares 2023. I'm not even done reading, but I've got shit to do today!

Time: 21:41 Weather: 63, sunny Humidity: 60% Song of the Day: Ghost, Mystery Skulls