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justkpopjokes · 5 years ago

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Side Effects Analysis/Theories

Miroh/Yellow Wood || Side Effects [Teaser] [MV] || Double Knot

I’m back with tiny details to help all your theories uwu, more of notes than theories

NOTE: anything with asterisks* means it is mentioned again later in the post (it’s a long post ok)

YELLOW GUI

(basically the overlays/coding)

someone is logging in*, shown with PASS_LOGIN (followed by a long list of letters I’m too lazy to list) on the right side, along with

#00001 (yes, there’s a space)

#00002

#0003

most of the code on the left is refers to these codes+lost of letters, just a program being executed

the left side also has a “TOTAL” that starts at 297 and decreases to 149

the right side has 3 percentages listed that start at 0% and go up to 99% until the first drops back down to 98%

(the first percentage is the first to appear/increase btw)

the screen clears once the 3 listed ones hit 99%*

there’s also a 4th one that goes from 0% to 40% at the bottom right

also this is probably obvious, but the screen flashes yellow whenever smth bad is about to happen**

IT IS REFLECTION. Finally I can stop being so ominous, but the left side gui says “*it is reflection*”!! Right here!! Wth?!?!**

Idk if this is smth significant but I’ve never seen it before in code so

THE BUS STOP (take 2)

the bus station route has 5 stops, ending at the NEW WORLD (03)

the 5 stops seem to be the first 5 letters of the Greek alphabet in lowercase: α β γ δ ε****

y’all can see clearly the signs next to the elevator saying BE PREPARED TO STOP and DETOUR

there’s are two moons: the one on the left is the colour of the sky and is fading, whereas the one on the right is tinted pink/red/purple and has a clear silhouette***

LICENCE PLATES

the plate of the City Jungle bus (w/their signature lion logo) has AD2540*** skip to the end to see my revelation :)

skz’s truck thing has B2Y1017 and a tiger symbol on the driver’s side door

I didn’t come up w/this but 1017 is probably a reference to October 2017, when Hellevator was posted

****if so, then the B2Y could be referencing the Greek letters here, or maybe “Back to You”? maybe that’s how they’re confirming that they’ll go back to the hell elevator or bujakyong i guess lol

connecting to smth I mentioned in my first analysis: the tiger in a Korean legend wasn’t able to persevere and become human, whereas the bear was. Maybe it’s symbolism they couldn’t go on w/o ditching the truck at the end?

RANDOM ROAD TRIP STUFF

(anything that happens while they’re on the truck)

Chan spots smth red in the ground?? (flowers?) but thas real sketchy bc the slowly emptying gas tank is shown right after the screen turns red

this is the only instance of the screen going just red during this mv

Hyunjin gets a solo shot after

Hyunjin’s vs Felix

Felix stands up on the truck and Hyunjin tries to get him to sit down, only to be brushed off by Felix

when Chan did this, Hyunjin didn’t do anything, only get that solo shot

Hyunjin vs Seungmin

I won’t go deep into this bc other people have better theories, but if Hyunjin was worried abt them being watched, then it makes sense that he’d try to stop Felix from making them obvious or getting hurt (which then they’d need to find someone to help him)

the papers on the ground they step on say: new road/elevator, road closed/_min_ _ation_

also Peach pointed out that the older members go to Hyunjin, and the younger ones go to Seungmin owo

when the gui percents reach 99%, they break the gate blocking their way

***as I said before, the screen turns yellow before smth (really) bad happens, but not before the truck tire gets pierced?? (again, maybe they were supposed to ditch the truck???)

the city in the sky

obviously, the city in the sky is the City Jungle, and being in the sky (cloud 9-esque maybe??) keeps them away from the mostly-abandoned Yellow Wood floor

the lightning probably shows the true face of the City Jungle (go figure)

they all run away from search lights? So they were found again, but also how did they end up back here????

THEORIES: the bible, the login, and Reflection

NOTE: the only theory that’s possibly accurate is reflection lol so you can skip down

If you read my previous 2 analyses/note posts, you know I’ve been curious about reflections and Bible references. Admittedly, I don’t think the bible stuff will be as prominent (bc it’s religious), but the reflection stuff will probably be focused on.

THE BIBLE

As I said, this stuff likely isn’t accurate, but it would fit really well if they decide to go this route!! It started with the cross earrings/necklaces in previous comebacks (mainly worn by Hyunjin), the fact Hellevator is HELLevator, and when skz runs together at 3:18 (in Side Effects), they form a cross, with Hyunjin up front.

I’ve also mentioned some bible verses that I found using numbers in the mvs (note that I use the New International Version to quote anything). Most of the ones were mostly irrelevant though. Other people have brought up in another theory that “AD” on the licence plate AD2540 could reference Anno Domini which could mean this was happening in the future, but I double-checked bible verses again.

Book of Matthew, 25:40 = “The King will reply, ‘Truly I tell you, whatever you did for one of the least of these brothers and sisters of mine, you did for me.’”

This section is about the King who has separated his “sheep” (those who have done good) to the right and “goats” (those who haven’t done good) to the left. The king says the sheep have done good things for him, but the sheep say they didn’t do those things to him specifically. This verse is referencing that the king knows they have done good to another person, and therefore him.

Obviously, if this were actually what skz were going for, they probably would’ve referenced the actual verse where the king separates his sheep and goats, but regardless, it does bring up the question: where else have we seen left and right, where one is bad?

We’ve seen it a few times: the two roads taken shown side by side when they take the bus or don’t, the two moons, and possibly skz vs the City Jungle.

THE LOGIN

Hyunjin, the “error” (other people’s posts go more in depth), is a focal point in this mv. We’ve also heard about “glitches” Jisung and Felix. So who can disprove that they’re just in a computer? (Jk but listen)

The yellow gui (and other code screens in Miroh) suggest we’re monitoring them. Or maybe the gui is in Hyunjin’s brain?? But I do know the percentages mirror what skz are doing (when they break the gate at 99%) and the screen goes yellow before smth bad happens (which is usually stuff Hyunjin notices).

There also seems to be an error in the code… idk how to explain this well, but the “error” might actually be planned. (I’ll make another post to clarify.)

REFLECTION

I mentioned in my 1st post that the lineup of skz on the rooftops in Miroh and the Yellow Wood teaser were mirrored, except 2 members switched with the 2 right next to them (Jeongin/Minho switched and Jisung/Hyunjin switched—did Hyunjin become the glitch at that point?). This might be a coincidence since it isn’t exact mirroring.

Anyway, there’s definitely some reference to reflection, because of the yellow gui! It might just be a nod to smth but hm. This is where I just dump some ideas

As I said in the Bible paragraphs, there’s references to left/good and right/bad. So reflection could reference:

people you thought were good are actually bad and vice versa (reference to Hyunjin, Jisung, and Felix maybe?)

the choice that’s on the left is good and the right is bad (getting on the bus was a good choice, which technically it was bc they’re sleeping peacefully) or the other way around

The moon on the right is “bad” (discoloured), but maybe actually the better one once reflected

You can also consider our left is their right, but that’s just confusing lol

Honestly, none of these seem right, but the gui is telling someone (likely just us tho) that smth is being reflected, and maybe not in a good way, since we aren’t seeing things the right way, or we’re seeing the bad parallel.

#stray kids theory #stray kids theories #stray kids #skz theory #side effects #lin says stuff

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iwannafuckyexiu · 6 years ago

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A TEASE A DAY BRINGS YOU CLOSER TO YOUR DEATH 007

SPECIAL CHAPTER 001

BEACH FUN WEEKEND 001/? despite being called beach fun weekend, unfortunately, there is no beach involved in this chapter.

"Heyyy, you guys wanna like go to the beach on the weekends?" Denki mentions out of nowhere during the morning tutor time (in which is just free time because Aizawa has nothing to announce), he leans forward onto the desk they were mostly around.

Several classmates perk up at the idea, and seeing that some are interested, Denki continues with a little more enthusiasm, eyes twinkling in the artificial light as he does, "Like we go there on Friday and stay three days and two nights."

"But don't we have school on Friday?" the cool girl with a head jack asks, one brow cocked at Denki's suggestion as she bops to her Spotify playlist and reclines against a desk close by.

"It's our national day on Friday so it's a public holiday! And what are you supposed to do on a public holiday?"

"Go out and have fun! "

"Stay home and rot! "

Uraraka's upbeat and eager voice clashes with Denki's lower one as both of them answer the latter's previous question. The two spin their heads to each other's direction.

"........."

"........o.o"

Uraraka breaks the ice first and dismisses it off with an embarrassed giggle as she rubs the back of her ear awkwardly while the rest of the class burst out into hoots of laughter at her choice of words.

"Ahahaahah sorry, sorry," Uraraka briefly apologises to Denki (who's pretty much turned his attention back to the beach trip again) as she tucks her head down slightly in bashfulness.

As Denki's very good bro, Kirishima instantly livens up to support his friend's plans, he lifts an avid arm up, "I wanna go to the trip!"

The rest of the class get fueled up by his attitude and joined the beach fun squad one after another. However, this boost is fractured when a dampened remark is tossed in the middle of the conversation, and the excitement between the students subsides with the sound.

"Why go there? The beach is so boring."

This comes from no other than Y/N, who's sat on a random chair with his slender legs extended out broadly, lips wide apart from yawning. He tips his neck back in boredom as he looks at them through his hooded eyes.

"We get to see the girls in bikinis if they go," Denki attempts to convince Y/N, speaking into his ear in a low whisper (which is loud enough pretty much everyone to hear) — the heated steam that prods against his ear stunts him for a second, inducing a red ear, but Y/N composes himself to a better position hastily.

The girls' faces mangle at the outright persuasion from Denki, some flaring into a shy coral flush, some into twisted features of disdain, and others just casual.

"... this is a bit hard to decide," Y/N says, feigning hesitation as he rubs the tip of his chin with two fingers (as if his eyes didn't light up when Denki said bikinis) before a sly, rascally grin takes over his eyes, "...... but I think I'm in!"

After that, gradually one by one, the students begin yelling out their decisions, which cause the classroom to be instantly filled with din. But on the other hand with Y/N, he sidles towards the back where the half and half boy is during the clamour and fluidly makes himself comfortable on Shouto's desk.

"Aye Shouto, you gonna come?" Y/N says in a higher voice into Shouto's ear. Not a flinch nor recoil is countered by the latter, he only rotates his head towards Y/N's direction without any passion in his mismatch irises.

"No."

"Awh why?"

"Don't want to."

"... I heard the girls might go in bikinis, so are you sure you don't want to?" casting out a suggestive offer to Shouto, Y/N writhes his brows in a provocative way, a roguish grin by his florid lips.

"No."

"I'll ... get you some snacks and candies?"

Shouto: "......" Damnit.

"... Fine."

——speaking of snacks, candies and Shouto, it's just something that Y/N found out by accident or maybe not really.

One day after school, Y/N was just strolling down the streets with Shouto (aka just walking beside Shouto until he has to go to his part-time). He rambled about random things that occurred recently and peculiar happenings he saw on the internet when he realised Shouto's sight shifted from the front to the shop they just passed by — which was Sweetu Sweetu, a branch of the popular chain store that sells one of the best desserts and snacks in Musutafu.

To Y/N it seems that for once, Shouto's features weren't distant as always, his eyes were blinking with a moment of daze; as if a child's. It seems that the ice that had been screening off his expressions from the outside world had melted, but didn't take long before his gaze returned to his regular frigid filter.

A mini smile formed on Y/N face as he observed Shouto.

"Aye Shouto."

Albeit no vocal response was given, Shouto twisted his head over to Y/N's direction.

"Can you go inside the candy shop with me? I want to buy some snacks for my little sister," Y/N questioned him, one hand tugging at Shouto's uniform sleeve and the other forefinger gesturing at the store.

"Oh."

Shouto allowed Y/N to lug him into the store as he kept silent. Though when they entered the shop, his attention wasn't on the wonders within but on the lean, firm fingers that encircled his wrist.

It felt as if the pleasant sun rays strewing across his bare skin during winter. Shouto wouldn't deny that he was to the least disappointed when Y/N released his grip on his wrist but for the first time, the grin on Y/N's features that he always found irritating seemed ... a little warm.

"Never thought you would follow me into these shops haha!"

Shouto: "......." He took back the scary thought he had just a bit ago.

But an invisible string tugged at the corner of Shouto's lips, but Y/N's back was to him or not the boy would have definitely poked fun at him.

Though, Y/N did hear a hum from Shouto, seeming to be in a higher pitch than usual. He let out a subdued chuckle before continuing to pick out some sweets for S/N.

▃▃▃▃▃▃▃▃▃▃▃

[ YAYAYAY WE'RE GOING TO THE BEACH!!! ]

23:11

kaminari denki added uraraka ochako, l/n y/n, bakugou katsuki, yaoyorozu momo, jirou kyouka, midoriya izuku, kirishima eijirou, hagakure tooru, mina ashido, iida tenya, asui tsuyu, mineta minoru, sero hanta

BAKUGOU KATSUKI: what the fuck is this

BAKUGOU KATSUKI: im leaving

bakugou katsuki left kaminari denki added bakugou katsuki

KAMINARI DENKI: aiiii dont leave me so quickly man

L/N Y/N: hok on i just wok from my nsp

L/N Y/N: wahys gojng on

HAGAKURE TOORU: yeah whats this

HAGAKURE TOORU: is it a gc for our plans on the weekends or smth

KAMINARI DENKI: bingo

KAMINARI DENKI: so basically we re gonna meet at bakugous house on friday at like 7

KAMINARI DENKI: then the bus will pick us up there and we ll be goin to the beach!

URARAKA OCHAKO: great!

URARAKA OCHAKO: luckily theres a public holiday on friday so we can play longer ahhahahaha

BAKUGOU KATSUKI: hold on thats not great

BAKUGOU KATSUKI: why r we meeting by my house and how do u know where my hosue is

KAMNARI DENKI: bcs your house is closest to the skl of course and

KAMINARI DENKI: i know everyones house :)))

L/N Y/N: spooky

BAKUGOU KATSUKI: i refuse to let u all near my house

BAKUGOU KATSUKI: go to kaminaris house or just meet at skl

L/N Y/N: nah

ASUI TSUYU: why are we meeting so early

KAMINARI DENKI: of course so we can have more time to have fun when we get to the beach!

ASUI TSUYU: oh good point

▃▃▃▃▃▃▃▃▃▃▃

On the actual day of the trip, a group of teens in all kinds of attire gather just below where Katsuki's apartment is, going on rambles between themselves by the time they planned to meet at.

Peeking around and counting up the number of people, Y/N cambers his head at the absence of a certain mustard boy. He hoists his fingers up to knead at his jaw and questions Kirishima beside him, "Hold up, where's Denki?"

"Yeah, wasn't he the one who organised this so shouldn't he be here?"

"Oh, he told me to tell you guys he's grounded," Kirishima announces to the rest of the class (in which most of them have questions marks hovering over them) as he scratches his nape apologetically.

"And that bastard just expects us to go have fun without him?"

"Yes."

Despite Denki's truancy, the class still board the bus already loitering by the side of the road near them. The bus is one that has two columns of seats on one side and another column on the other side of the walkway, befitting for the small class.

"Tell the bus driver to stop at XXX XXX XXX later," Y/N says to Kirishima before stepping onto the stairs to the bus.

"Oh oh oh! Are we going to get Kaminari?" Tooru, who Y/N chooses to sit beside blurts out while he perches on the seat just beside her at the third row, bobbing up and down in an excited manner.

"Yep."

And the bus drives off onto the road, towards where Denki's house is.

The bus arrives around Denki's house twenty minutes later, in a neighbourhood of modern houses.

"Okay, how are we going to do this?" Y/N questions the bus as he stands up from his seat near the front, resting an arm on the back of a chair.

"Why not ... L/N you go up to his bedroom window and bring him down?" Kirishima suggests while he hoists an arm up.

"Huh? Why me?"

"Your quirk, duh," Katsuki's vexed voice inserts himself in (Y/N can almost imagine the eye roll he's doing at the same time).

"Oh okay then."

The bus parked just some distance from Denki's house, Y/N goes down and slithers towards the side of his house where Kirishima estimated Denki's room should be.

With the support of his quirk, Y/N effortlessly vaults up the wall surrounding Denki's house and lunges onto the window ledge (that is wide enough for Y/N to sit on to his luck). The window is sealed shut, though the curtains are tied to the sides and open.

From that view, Y/N can just see Denki laying on his side on top of his bed, his head bouncing to some music as he scrolls through his phone, back to the window. Knocking on the glass, Y/N attempts to get the mustard boy's attention, which he obviously doesn't get.

"Fuck, he has airpods in," grousing under his breath, Y/N fumbles around his pockets for his phone. He taps open Denki's contacts as he rings him up, Denki inside the room also receiving the call at the same time.

"Oh hey, Y/N. Sorry about not being able to come but—"

Y/N cuts him off while he stares at Denki's figure in the room, "Just shut up and open the window."

The mustard boy instantly twists his head to the window where Y/N is, eyes wide and taken aback that Y/N is just sitting there. Hurrying over to the window, Denki gropes around for the lever of the window, his fingers scrambling around hastily.

As soon as the window cracks open, Y/N hops into Denki's room and sprawls out on his bed (Y/N should mention that it is very fluffy). "Finally," he exhales.

"What are you doing here?" Denki asks, seating himself beside Y/N on the bed, he lays a hand on Y/N's knee and drums his fingers gently on the bone.

"To get you of course," Y/N blurts out with a flirt as he rises upright and clasps a digit under Denki's chin to tip it up towards him, lighting up with a smile brimmed with teasing malice.

"And doesn't it feel like those plots where the guy sneaks the girl out of her house in those American shows?"

"Hahhaahah who's the guy and who's the girl here then?"

"I'm the guy, of course, look at the position we're in." Y/N arcs his brow with a challenging grin to Denki, chin toppling upwards.

Chuckling lightly before poking out a tongue to lick his lips, Denki turns over his gaze from Y/N's exposed neck and jutting collarbones. "Sure," he remarks as he keeps his irises away from Y/N's neck.

Y/N gives a brief laugh at the tone in that 'Sure' before recoiling up from the bed, looking down at Denki while he says and holds a hand out, "Anyways, let's go."

"I can't." Denki's head sags down, he purses his lips into a pout and drops his hand from the boy's knee.

"Why not?"

"My parents."

"Hmm ..." Y/N rubs a finger over his mouth, pondering before coming up with an idea, "Then ... I'll sneak you out first then ask Iida to talk to your parents and convince them?"

"And even if they don't get persuaded you're already on the bus anyways," in a low volume, Y/N adds as he veils the top of his lip with a hand.

"But like—"

Denki is interrupted by the grating of his bedroom door, a woman peeks inside to call him when she realises the surprise visitor in his room, "Ki-chan, come ea—who are you?"

"Pffft Ki-chan ..." Y/N puffs out into a short snigger at the pet name, obviously forgetting the new person in the room (his future mother in law), but he eventually looks up and halts his silliness as he realises his inappropriate behaviour.

Standing up to his feet and shuffling bashfully towards Denki's mother, he greets his future mother in law with a brittle ninety-degree bow. "A-Ah, hi ma'am. I'm your son's best friend and I'm just well ... uh ..." he delays slightly while his brain goes shortcut at thinking of a valid excuse.

Y/N sucks in a ball of air before pressing his lips together in a restless manner, he confesses to his future mother in law truthfully, "I'm trying to sneak him out." Observing the woman's features, he waits for her reply with a tauten jowl.

"In no way will I—"

"I swear we'll bring him back in pieces—I mean in whole! "

Y/N builds on again before his future mother in law can even respond to his swear, he sticks up three fingers, "And I'll stick with him throughout the whole thing to make sure he's safe!"

"......"

"... please? "

"Do you really want to go, Ki-chan?" Denki's mother twists to her son to question, who nods his head vigorously in turn. She heaves a heavy sigh and finally loosens up her proctective urges, "... alright then go, quickly before your father realises you're gone and I'll deal with him."

Before the woman realises, a blur of mustard frizz pounces onto her into a tight bear hug. It takes a while for her to snap out of her stunted state, she shakes her head and simpers at her son's child-like antics.

"Thanks, okaa-san!" Denki's smothered voice can barely be heard by Y/N as the boy buries his face on his mother's thin shoulder.

"Thank you, ma'am!" Y/N bows formally towards the elder woman with a polite, genuine smile hanging off his lips while Denki withdrew from his mother's embrace.

"We'll have fun!" Y/N says and waves an arm to the woman as he tucks an arm around Denki's waist, leaning himself by the side of the window.

Albeit Y/N had to talk Denki's mother into letting him take Denki out by the window, explaining that his quirk can definitely keep them safe (in which took a long time), the two meet the rest of the group on the bus parked nearby.

"Never thought I'd meet your mother so soon, Ki-chan," Y/N lays an arm around Denki in close fashion as he emphasises on the nickname at the end of his sentence with a hint of fun. Denki, in turn, mumbles a 'shut up' before rotating his head to the side, shifting his gaze.

"Let's go now, it's already eight!" Denki ushers the driver before sitting himself down on a seat just beside Kirishima by the front, a big grin lit up on his features by now.

I HAVE SOMETHING TO SAY:

thanks for reading this chapter! i apologise for the really slow updates but it will continue for quite some time so i'm sorry if it's too slow.

but uh to add some fun i just want to write a special arc, the beach fun weekend to loosen up things for me before i continue with the main storyline and follow my outline

I'LL CORRECT SHIT WHEN I'M FINISHED

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christophersymes · 5 years ago

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Celebrity Status

Celebrity Status, an ongoing L(G)B(T)+ story also on Wattpad and Quotev.

<– Previous / Next –>

Chapter Three

Later on that week, Jules was messaging Elías between class and work. He was sitting in his truck, adjusting his collar on his work shirt and frowning at the message Elías had sent about having something important to talk about.

familyjules: hey, dude. i have a bit of time between school and work right now. what's going on?

Mason's stomach flipped when Jules finally replied.

masonfucker1000: hey

masonfucker1000: i need to tell you smth

masonfucker1000: its been eating me up and i feel horrible about it

masonfucker1000: my name isn't elias

masonfucker1000: but i cant tell you who i am and im sorry

Jules looked at the messages as they came in, swallowing hard. He ran a hand through his hair, frowning. He felt like crying. Whoever this was was really torn up, but that didn't matter to him at all. He didn't care who they were, as long as everything else was real. That's all he fucking needed. He didn't really care, just as long as it wasn't...

familyjules: but everything else is real, right? idgaf about your name but we have something here

familyjules: be it friendship or whatever else it could be as long as you're not catfishing me to teach me a lesson or some shit i don't care about that

Mason let out a breath he didn't know he was holding when Jules replied.

masonfucker1000: no catfish. everything else i've told you is true.

masonfucker1000: uh wait are you saying you have a crush on me

It was a serious conversation, but Mason couldn't help it. He had blinked and reread the message, doubting its existence for a moment. This was the first time Jules had seriously mentioned them being anything other than just friends. He couldn't just let it go.

Jules blushed at the second message, realizing he had. And he wasn't being totally honest with them either, but... He didn't know what to do. It was too late now to change that, especially if whoever it was was straight and had a crush too, which seemed true. He hoped it was true.

familyjules: maybe. depends on if u feel the same

Mason grinned, face hot at the response.

masonfucker1000: maybe, u say. idk abt that, those sound like v conditional feelings

Jules smiled. Back to good old... whoever.

familyjules: shut up you dork

familyjules: maybe i do have a crush on you.

familyjules: also what should i call you now if not elías?

masonfucker1000: well i definitely have a crush on you, baby

masonfucker1000: you can call me anything you want ;)

familyjules: asshole is the perfect name for you, asshole. ;)

familyjules: okay i gotta get into work. have a good evening, asshole! i'll talk to you later

masonfucker1000: ofc thats what u pick

masonfucker1000: talk to you later, jules x thanks for being awesome

Jules frowned a little at the end of the last text. He could only hear it in Mason's voice from the concert. He'd said it so many times: at every fucking concert Jules had ever watched live and the one he went to. Either this was a Mason superfan who was adopting language, or it... No. It couldn't be.

He pushed the thought out of his head. It was ridiculous.

Yet, as he went into work and through the night, he kept coming back to it. He just kept thinking about how cool and terrifying it would be if he were talking to the actual Mason Hill, but also how unlikely that was.

But it was oh-so fucking likely! The way Mason had kept looking at him at the concert could have been a coincidence, or it could have been Mason looking toward that general area and Jules was just a wishful thinker. Or it could have been Mason looking at him because he knew him. Because he liked him.

But the chances of Mason Hill being Elias and liking Jules... It was so ridiculous. The chance of that was, like, one in a fucking million.

Anyway, shouldn't he be wishfully thinking it was Austin going by his middle name and Jules totally seducing him?

masonfucker1000: hey hey heyyy how's it goin how was work

familyjules: exhausting. underpaying. the usual. had some woman threaten to throw a salad at me tonight because there were tomatoes on it and she hates tomatoes so much it warrants violence supposedly.

familyjules: but i was in a good mood overall thanks to you and your mutual crush... speaking of we should talk about that

masonfucker1000: yikes! cloudy w a chance of tomatoes up in there i see

masonfucker1000: aww! you're welcome

masonfucker1000: alright (?) hit me w it

familyjules: i don't want to like... date or anything til we meet if we ever do

familyjules: don't get me wrong i like you a lot

familyjules: but it feels wrong to do ldr if i can't know your identity at all even though i dont care that much about it

familyjules: just in terms of dating i'd need a name, you know? and more than just your age and that we like each other

Mason groaned. He saw it coming, but fuck.

masonfucker1000: no yeah, that makes sense.

masonfucker1000: i like you a lot

masonfucker1000: shit

masonfucker1000: fuck

masonfucker1000: i want to meet you

masonfucker1000: but

masonfucker1000: i think maybe some more time would be good

masonfucker1000: figure out how im gonna do this

Jules stared at the messages, feeling really bad about it. He sighed, hitting his forehead against the wheel lightly. Idiot.

familyjules: yeah. i'm sorry dude

masonfucker1000: hey no

masonfucker1000: don't worry abt it, you're right

masonfucker1000: you're being super sweet and understanding and i appreciate it

masonfucker1000: have i mentioned i really like you?

Jules sighed, leaning back again. He was too smitten for this guy. This was great. He hadn't seen this yet from him.

familyjules: i really like you, masonfucker1000

familyjules: for lack of a better name

Mason snorted, wheezing and bending over in his seat.

masonfucker1000: wow.

masonfucker1000: you really have a way with words

Mason had been floating on air ever since he'd finally told Jules that he wasn't Elias and Jules said that she liked him. It was amazing! It was unlike anything he'd felt before! Which meant he obviously had to share every detail with his bandmates.

"Good morning, prisoners of the Junkmobile!" Mason announced his knowingly unwanted consciousness as he hopped off his bunk, narrowly missing slamming his head against the top bunk adjacent to his. Their tour bus, which they tended to give nicknames, was a mess, but it was their mess, and really, everything was where it was should be.

"That wasn't the name we agreed on, was it?" Austin frowned, pausing in the middle of a spoonful of cereal.

Andrew rolled his eyes as he tossed a pile of Hot Pockets in the microwave.

"The Rat Roller has many names," Mason ruffled Austin's hair. He froze and frowned at them making sad breakfast. "Hey! No tourfast! Don't we have a few hours for Bryan's break?"

Chris groaned from a bit farther behind them in his bunk, "Stop trying to give everything a tour nickname. I thought you'd given up on that."

Bryan was their driver, and he took his breaks very seriously. He was definitely passed out right now. Not that they interacted with him much to know much more than that. Bryan, as many band bus drivers tended to be (in Nosam's experience), preferred minimal contact with the rabid animals that usually inhabited his enclosure.

"Never!" Mason hollered, grinning. "It's fun. Where's your tour spirit? Now, c'mon, let's go and get some actual food."

Andrew grimaced as if the concept of leaving the bus had physically burned him. "Rather not."

Austin nodded in agreement. "Pretty sure there's fans right outside. We're due for a hotel in a day or two anyway, we'll go out then."

Mason bounced a little, annoyed and definitely going fucking crazy on that bus. He pushed himself off the counter, falling into the booth across from Austin and sinking into it. "Guys, I'm going to lose my shit if I spent one more minute in here. Who cares if there's fans out? We'll say hi. I need out of this bus. I need to do something."

"Then go, no one's stopping you," Andrew looked at him pointedly.

"But I don't wanna go alone," Mason whined, looking off to Chris' bunk, his curtains half-closed. "Chris."

There was loud groaning from the bunk, and the curtains were shoved open as Chris' head poked out, blinking tiredly. "What, Mason?"

"Tell them we have to go out."

"We don't," Chris sighed.

"You guys don't love me anymore," Mason went on, throwing his head back.

Austin rolled his eyes. "Mase, we just want a break. We've got a show tonight, Stella's calling soon and—"

"You called her last night!" Mason sat up to look at him.

Austin blushed, his face turning red like a curtain falling over his face. "So? I miss her, I haven't seen in her in a month."

Mason made multiple sounds that were a mix between constipated groans and a kid throwing a tantrum.

The microwave blared, only adding to the volume. Andrew yanked the door open, a disgruntled sound falling from his lips as he grabbed the burning hot pockets with his bare hands. "And I have a date with the PS4," he announced as he carefully placed a can of Redbull on top of the pile in his hands and escaped to the back of the bus. Chris promptly ducked his head back in so Andrew could pass by, giving Mason a pleading look as he closed the curtain.

Mason pouted, quieting down as he stared at Austin, who awkwardly pushed Reese's Puffs around in his bowl, taking out his phone. Mason groaned again. "How about brunch? In a few hours?" he asked, loud enough Andrew in the back could hear. "C'mon, I want to tell you guys something."

"If it's about cyber sex with your fan, nyet!" Andrew hollered back.

"I second that motion. I've heard enough about Jules' sexting skills," Austin gagged.

The bunk their bassist was in made a bunch of unintelligible, mumbled Sleepy Chris sounds that Mason roughly translated to: I agree and I'm happy for you Mason, but please, no more of that.

Mason grinned, "No, but it's important. Pretty please?"

"Yes!" Chris yelled in exasperation, followed by a noncommittal uh huh from Andrew. Mason smiled, and then quickly dropped it to give Austin a sad look, but his performance was rudely interrupted by Austin's phone ringing.

Austin's face lit up as he picked up his phone, glancing up at Mason. "Okay, okay, brunch, but go somewhere else, alright? Watch Andrew or something."

"Okay, but if you guys start talking dirty, I'll throw your phone out the window."

Mason settled in next to Andrew, who frowned and sighed quietly, but otherwise didn't complain. The back of the bus was, for the most part, an unspoken quiet area, unless everyone was playing a game or talking about a game, or it was a Serious Conversation.

Mason watched Andrew dominate, and then Andrew handed him a controller. Chris joined later when he wanted to get away from Austin and Stella's horrible phone call that was, of course, taking a turn for the sexual. Mason quickly opted out of the next game when he got a message from Jules.

familyjules: hey hey masonfucker1000

masonfucker1000: oh my god not you again

familyjules: ): u hate me that much already? didn't we just admit we have crushes?

Mason grinned at the reminder. Crushes! He felt like he was fourteen, but he didn't care. They had mutual crushes, and this felt genuine, and natural, and like it could actually be something. AKA, as he was realizing, the polar opposite of all his exes.

masonfucker1000: what? idk what ur talking abt man

familyjules: not-elías cmon

familyjules: don't be a dumbass ):

masonfucker1000: im always a dumbass, darling

masonfucker1000: how was work?

familyjules: eh, it was alright. people are rude, but it's expected

familyjules: how was ur day? haven't heard from u much today

masonfucker1000: its been p chill! day off! mostly been lazying around and playing video games w friends! i hate tony he beats me! almost always! im gonna kill him!! and you wont even know its him on the news!

Sometime early on in their online relationship, Mason had had a hard time not mentioning Andrew, Austin, and Chris. They were his coworkers, his bandmates, his best friends and his family. His bros! How could he not? So, he'd ended up using other names for them. Tony, from Andrew's middle name Anthony, Vic from one of Austin's last names, and well, he'd just been spelling Chris as Criss, which was horrendous but a necessary evil.

familyjules: i'll keep an eye out for tonys in the obituaries and let the cops know they should look for a traveling prostitute who sounds like mason hill when he sings. what game did u play?

masonfucker1000: alrighty but I'm like fucking Mary Poppins ill be up and out before they even get there

masonfucker1000: Halo 5

familyjules: you're fucking mary poppins and not me?

familyjules: D:

masonfucker1000: ohmy god

masonfucker1000: i wish

masonfucker1000: i had a disney boner for her i swear

familyjules: okay but do u mean julie andrews or emily blunt poppins?

masonfucker1000: UH COME ON

masonfucker1000: OBVIOUSLY JULIE ANDREWS

masonfucker1000: MY TASTES ARE RAD AND CLASSY

familyjules: just making sure dude

familyjules: emily blunt's pretty hot after all

masonfucker1000: MEH SHES ALRIGHT

familyjules: smh your tastes are awful

masonfucker1000: u just fucking dissed urself

familyjules: damn right i did.

familyjules: on the contrary tho

familyjules: i have amazing taste.

masonfucker1000: dont u dare! u are the most gorgeous! the MOST! gorgeous!

masonfucker1000: and shit i cant argue that

familyjules: making me blush again, mf1000? already?

masonfucker1000: anytime and all the time

masonfucker1000: okay but what if I had the biggest grossest mole like

masonfucker1000: on my nose

masonfucker1000: im not saying i DO

masonfucker1000: i DON'T

masonfucker1000: and I'm also not saying moles are gross

masonfucker1000: okay

masonfucker1000: what I mean is

masonfucker1000: what if i was your definition of

masonfucker1000: fucking butt ugly

familyjules: oh, you're mason hill?

masonfucker1000: oh

masonfucker1000: my

masonfucker1000: fucking

masonfucker1000: god

masonfucker1000: u KNOW you wish u were mason's hands !!!!

masonfucker1000: i cant believe you !!!

masonfucker1000: i thought we had something !!!

familyjules: i didn't say his hands weren't pretty

familyjules: just a joke!! you dumbass

masonfucker1000: His HANDS?

masonfucker1000: thats ALL?

masonfucker1000: what about his PERFECT FACE?

masonfucker1000: his MUSCLES?

masonfucker1000: his HAIR?

masonfucker1000: his ASS?

masonfucker1000: his AVERAGE DICK?

familyjules: they're not awful, i guess. i doubt you look too much like him tho

masonfucker1000: I LOOK perfect

masonfucker1000: THATS ALL U NEED TO KNOW RN

masonfucker1000: AND HE'S PERFECT

familyjules: god this is why i don't interact with mason stans smfh

familyjules: now if u look like austin.... i'll nut in my jeans as soon as i see u

masonfucker1000: FUCK U

masonfucker1000: MASON STANS ARE THE BEST

masonfucker1000: and i look BETTER than austin so u WILL nut

familyjules: better??

familyjules: than austin?????

familyjules: does not compute?????????

masonfucker1000: you're INSUFFERABLE

masonfucker1000: I'll murder him

Mason whined indignantly, earning a look from both Chris and Andrew as he grabbed a pillow and stood up to launch it at Austin, who stopped mid-sentence to Stella to stammer and glare at him. "We're not being gross!" He blushed at whatever Stella said in response to that, quickly turning away again.

Mason sat back down without explanation, only mildly satisfied.

familyjules: okay im starting to think you're a traveling murderer prostitute. is that more correct?

masonfucker1000: im too pretty for prison

familyjules: that... wasn't a no

masonfucker1000: 😉🔫🔥🗡️💼🕶🤖🖤😍💥

familyjules: what's the robot doin in there? do u kill via robot?

masonfucker1000: im an emotionless killer

masonfucker1000: ruthless

familyjules: OH. kinky

masonfucker1000: oh, yeah? youre into that?

familyjules: ;)

familyjules: maybe i am

masonfucker1000: wait ur into ruthless murderers or being ruthlessly murdered

familyjules: ;)

masonfucker1000: oh my god its the latter isnt it

familyjules: 🤤🔫🗡️🔥🤖

Mason had practically dragged the boys out of the bus. For all the constant complaining about how cramped and boring the bus was, they sure hated leaving it. Which was totally understandable, fans could be a lot, especially after hanging with them during so many shows and meet and greets, but it was definitely worth it for some food. Or at least that was what Mason thought.

With the help of a couple of bodyguards, the guys managed to get through a small crowd of fans and cameras near the bus, and into the nearest decent-looking restaurant. Mason sighed happily as they were seated. "You guys need sunlight and all that. Papa Rod said we shouldn't be shut in the bus if we can help it."

"Papa Rod can suck it," Andrew kicked lightly at Mason's leg, looking over the menu with interest.

"Do you think they have frozen yogurt? I've been craving it for weeks," Austin questioned, miserable and hopeful as he flipped to the back of the menu. Chris' eyes widened and he dropped his menu in favor of looking at desserts with Austin.

Mason laughed, "If you guys are doing dessert first, I'm in, but I want pie. Wait, you're distracting me! I need to tell you something—"

"They do!" Chris pointed out the froyo on the menu, and Austin gasped.

Andrew watched them deliberate excitedly over flavors in amusement, glancing at Mason. "What's up?"

"I sort of told Jules the truth. That I'm not who I've been telling her I am," Mason blurted, raising an eyebrow as Austin and Chris stopped to stare at him.

"What does that mean?" Austin gaped. "Does she know who you are? Did she faint? Have you checked social media?" Chris tried to discreetly check his phone.

"No," Mason rolled his eyes, laughing a little, "Of course she doesn't know— I just, I couldn't keep lying like that, I felt like shit. And after actually meeting her... I just couldn't, so I told her I'm not Elias, but that I can't really tell her much about me."

"Oh," Chris frowned, putting his phone down. "That's... still sort of..." "Complicated?" Andrew supplied, playing with his fingers anxiously as a few people around them stared and whispered to themselves excitedly. "How'd she take it?"

"Great, and we even admitted we had feelings—"

Andrew gasped sarcastically, smiling slightly as he dropped his chin in his hands as he leaned forward. "You admitted you had feelings?"

"You're not funny, Drew," Mason tried to hide a smile, his next words making it easier. "She said that we can't really... well, date, if she doesn't know stuff about me and hasn't even met me. I told her I'd need time to figure it out. I want to tell her, but... I don't know," Mason muttered, sighing and looking down at the table as he played with the corners of his menu.

"Makes sense," Chris smiled sympathetically, giving his hand.

"We would really like to not experience another Catherine," Austin teased.

Andrew shuddered, "Don't even mention it, I still half-expect for some agent to send us a thriller screenplay based on your fan stalker."

"Ha ha," Mason chuckled, "Okay, I know I've said I'm not really into the big screen, but I would totally do that one."

Andrew looked to Austin and Chris. "So, are we getting the froyo?"

They spent way more time than was necessary debating the validity of certain froyo flavors (honestly, an old debate constantly refueled), Mason checking the Nosam site after they had finally agreed on one.

masonfucker1000: real talk: whos the one person youre embarrassed to say you want to fuck

familyjules: real talk? mason hill

masonfucker1000: aw COME ON

masonfucker1000: what did MASON HILL EVER DO TO U??

familyjules: im KIDDING

familyjules: ur reactions are just hilarious

familyjules: honestly tho? my clone. i'd fuck myself.

masonfucker1000: sadist

masonfucker1000: wait

masonfucker1000: what

masonfucker1000: you'd what

familyjules: lots of shame in that

familyjules: you heard me

familyjules: read me?

masonfucker1000: 1) i did not expect that

masonfucker1000: 2) why would you have any shame in that

familyjules: 1) gotta keep you on your toes

familyjules: 2) it's fucking myself, dude??? you wouldn't feel any shame if someone walked in on u fucking ur clone?

masonfucker1000: not at all

masonfucker1000: thatd be hot

familyjules: anyway, who would you be embarrassed to fuck?

familyjules: you're biased.

masonfucker1000: biased? cuz i know im hot shit? yeah probably

masonfucker1000: and uh...

masonfucker1000: huh

masonfucker1000: Christina Ricci

familyjules: oh, i thought you were talking about u walking in on me fucking myself. damn. familyjules: misinterpreted

familyjules: and christina ricci????? she's fucking hot

familyjules: why would u be embarrassed

masonfucker1000: that would also be hot

masonfucker1000: and yes, she is masonfucker1000: you don't just fuck christina ricci, you take her out on a date and then get horribly rejected by her

familyjules: .....fair.

masonfucker1000: not to mention shes probably a top

familyjules: major top vibes from ricci too. u trying to tell me something, not-elías?

familyjules: HA

masonfucker1000: ... im a top

familyjules: what if u walked in on christina ricci fucking me

familyjules: what then

masonfucker1000: oh shit

masonfucker1000: id be so mad

familyjules: would u bottom for christina?

masonfucker1000: ...................................................................

masonfucker1000: yes.

familyjules: damn. u would be embarrassed to fuck her then huh

familyjules: wait would u be embarrassed to fuck stella? u could take her and i could take austin

"Ugh, gross," Mason grimaced, sighing at Austin, who had some froyo stuck to his mouth when he looked up at him. "Why is Jules so obsessed with boning you? It's like, the only turn-off."

Austin shrugged sheepishly. "You're finally into someone and she couldn't care less about Mason Hill. It's the universe telling you you're not that great."

"Don't slander, Sally, I'm the best the universe has ever made. The Goddess made me on the seventh day."

Austin opened his mouth to argue, but thought better of it. Froyo was vastly more important than Mason's ego.

masonfucker1000: oh jesus christ

masonfucker1000: i guess i would but i don't like the second part of that plan

familyjules: you don't? ):

masonfucker1000: nope

masonfucker1000: you can take chris

familyjules: ugh

familyjules: dont get me wrong i love chris but i don't love chris

masonfucker1000:

masonfucker1000: ugh?

masonfucker1000: HA

masonfucker1000: thats hilarious

familyjules: he's just big inspo!

familyjules: christo!

masonfucker1000: how bout Andrew?

familyjules: UGH

familyjules: BORING

masonfucker1000: OH SHIT cmon

masonfucker1000: what makes u think he'd be boring?

familyjules: i'd take MASON over andrew

familyjules: i mean, andy's cool and all but he's so quiet

masonfucker1000: you make it sound like fucking mason would be so horrible

familyjules: need someone to talk to

familyjules: puh-LEASE he would be

masonfucker1000: the quiet ones are always the freaky ones

masonfucker1000: oh he talks a lot to the band doesn't he?

masonfucker1000: WHY DO U SAY THAT

familyjules: the freaky ones? are you joking that andrew's freaky? interesting

familyjules: yeah but i'm not the band!

masonfucker1000: im just sayin its who hes close to !

familyjules: what, are u jealous of mason now cuz he's my second choice? this is hypothetical, man

masonfucker1000: masons above all, im jealous u somehow think austin tops him and me and apparently everyone else

masonfucker1000: do u have eyes??

familyjules: hey i didn't know you were in this equation

familyjules: i'd choose you anyday, ne

familyjules: definitely my top choice.

familyjules: 1. not-elías (tho i'd need a name to moan) 2. austin elías salinas vicente 3. mason hill

masonfucker1000: awwww SHUCKS scratch that i have never been jealous in my entire life

masonfucker1000: I read that as neigh tho

masonfucker1000: what's your favorite thing in the entire world

familyjules: is that even a question?

masonfucker1000: yes it is tell me

masonfucker1000: is it sour gummy worms

familyjules: oh that's a good one

familyjules: check out that list again, dude

familyjules: hello? did i kill u or something?

masonfucker1000:

YEAH how are you single ???

give a dude a WARNING

familyjules: whoops

familyjules: just found the right person, so... waiting on them

familyjules: OOPS. warning

masonfucker1000: im the right person, huh?

familyjules: pretty sure you could be

familyjules: not a 60 year old mouth breather? apparently hotter than austin? loves nosam?

familyjules: hilarious?

familyjules: sweet?

familyjules: only downside is: mason stan.

familyjules: but that i can live with

masonfucker1000: oh my god that's an UPSIDE

masonfucker1000: youre really in for it baby

masonfucker1000: im the definition of the right one

familyjules: oh, i'm sure

masonfucker1000:

despite your unrelenting obsession w Austin, you are absolutely heartstoppingly gorgeous, and the easiest person to talk to, with the lamest sense of humor (like me) and you are a huge teddy bear!! 🐻 so right back atcha, sweetheart

familyjules: dumbass. there's that sweetness i was talking about 💙💙💙💙

#writeblr #writers on tumblr #lgbt fiction #trans fiction #lgbt stories #celebritystatus

0 notes

wtcrs-blog · 7 years ago

Text

South of the border west of the sun

Once i spent 6 wonderful weeks stydying english in New York. ‘Wonderful’ cause those 6 weeks were mostly not about studying english and not even about New York itself, as i expected it to be, but about people who surrounded me there. One of them was a 15yo Colombian guy who was into reading and writing and who gave me a book which turned a whole bunch of stuff in my life upside-down. Here’s the letter i sent to the guy after reading the book. So, meet and greet, “South of the border west of the sun” by Murakami.

So, firstly, I guess I need to tell you about my relationship with literature in general. I’ve told you already that I love russian literature and that Murakami is far from being my favorite writer. There’s a simple explanation to all of this: tho I read for pleasure mostly, I like to have a feeling of gaining smth while reading a book, and I feel like ‘gaining’ when I read stuff which is written in kind of a sophisticated way and which has smth more than just a cool plot in it. To make it a bit more clear, imagine reading ‘War and peace’ and some teenage stuff like ‘The fault in our stars’ or ‘The maze runner’ (have no idea if u know these two but the point is that it’s just simple stuff for teenagers). All of these books might have a thrilling plot and you might enjoy reading all three but what’s the difference between ‘War and peace’ and ‘The fault in our stars’? To put it in a simple way: ‘War and peace’ is a real piece of literature with not only a fun plot but with all that language and style stuff because of which we call it classic literature while ‘The fault of our stars’ has nothing except the plot and is so freaking easy to read that you’ll probably read it in one day cause you don’t have to make ANY effort to read it as it’s written with the simplest words, with the simplest style and the simplest language you can imagine. So, what I’m driving at is that I do not like reading simple stuff because I do not feel like gaining anything from reading a thing which does not require any effort to be read.

Getting a bit closer to the subject: I haven’t read much from Murakami (to be more specific: ‘Norwegian wood’, ‘The wind-up bird chronicle’ and a few short stories only) but all the stuff I read was pretty simple. I’m not talking about the meaning here, just about the way all of this stuff is written. Obviously I’m not implying that Murakami’s books are written as ‘The fault of our stars’ is written, for god’s sake no, but anyway Murakami’s style is not that sophisticated. And that’s why I can’t say I liked it much cause here’s the main point of Polina-literature relationships: no matter how much I like the plot, I need to like the style to say that I enjoyed the book. And I haven’t read anything from Murakami about which I could’ve said that I liked the style.

Getting to the point exactly (God bless me here cause I have no idea how to put all of this into words). All of those Polina-literature-relationship things which I’ve just told you about went freaking down and do not work anymore because of your book. It just somehow destroyed all the principles I had.

It’s the first book I’ve read in my life which had nothing similar to what I call ‘a sophisticated style’ but which is surely one of my favorite books now regardless of how it is written. I can’t explain it to myself but anyways it doesn’t matter much I guess. Just real fun to suddenly find out that I’m capable of liking smth that has nothing to do with being sophisticated J

Soooooooooooooooo the book itself. Goddamit Pablo GODDAMIT what’s wrong with the ending? How am I supposed to go on with living my normal life after reading this. I feel the same as I felt when I read your ‘Crisantemo’. I have a couple of interpretations of the ending but I’ll never know which one is correct. And maybe it really should be so cause as you’ve told me once, it’s important what I think of it myself and I should find the meaning which kinda fits my own personality and sometimes it’s not that important to know the correct interpretation cause there’s no correct one. It’s just different for everyone.

1. The first and the most simple interpretation which came to me first was that Shimamoto committed a suicide. So she’s dead and there is not much to think about actually. But if I stick to this interpretation, I have a whole lotta unanswered questions. For example: what for did Murakami put that episode with Hajime following Shimamoto and then that strange man grasping his elbow and giving him that envelope with money? What for did all of this happen? What’s the meaning of this? Who was the man? What was the money for? And why did it disappear at the end of the book? Why don’t we know anything about Shimamoto’s life? Actually there’s no end to these questions. And if you stick to this interpretation you’ll realize that actually we know NOTHING at all. We don’t know anything about anything except Hajime’s life. Just think about it for a second: how strange it is to know all the details of his life and not to know a single thing about Shimamoto’s life, how strange it is that everything in this book is a question except Hajime’s life. All of it looks like a real bad book written by a random person who has nothing to do with literature: someone just sat down with an idea of a trivial romantic story and started writing. He or she wanted to make the story look like a real book and put so freaking many events and so many characters into the story, but this person is not a writer and he knows nothing about writing, that’s why he was just not capable of leading all of this to the end: he invented all those characters and events but put no meaning into them, gave no answers and all of this led to nothing at the end. Those characters, those events led to nothing, the book could easily exist without them. Practically all books arise a whole lotta questions. You read and you wonder why this or that happened but you always get all the answers at the end. This book doesn’t have a single answer. No answers at all. Is it a good book? Is it even literature? Putting random, meaningless stuff? Looks more like a draft to a book, not a real book. But this is a real book, there’s nothing more except those 250 pages. Just a book with no answers, a book by a real bad writer? No, can’t be so, I thought. I might not like Murakami but I’m not that crazy to refuse acknowledging that he’s a writer with big ‘W’ cause the whole world knows him. It means smth, right? So, then, what’s wrong with this book?

And at this point I came to the second interpretation.

2. He left Shimamoto at the age of 12 and he never saw her again. There was no man and no money. None of this ever happened.

At first I thought it was a pretty stupid way to interpret the ending, but then I found so many things to support this interpretation that I’m pretty sure that’s the right way to explain everything. Well, at least for me it is J

a) There’s not a single moment in the whole book where it’s said that anyone except Hajime ever saw Shimamoto. We never see anyone talking to her, we never see anyone interacting with her in any other way, we never see Murakami saying that there was someone who even SAW Shimamoto. The only person who saw her was Hajime himself. Even when there were situations when there was no way for people not to interact with her, it didn’t happen. She sat in the bar and she wanted a cocktail. Did she ask the bartender for anything? Do we see the bartender saying anything to her? Never. It was Hajime who talked to bartender for her, it was him who the bartender replied to. Do you remember all those ‘soaked to the skin’ moments? She never took a cab, we never saw her interacting with a cab driver, with a bus driver, we never saw her in any kind of transport at all except for Hajime’s car. She never took a cab though it was raining as hell and she was wearing all those expensive clothes and from her description it was absolutely clear that she was not that kind of woman who would prefer getting all soaked and wet to taking a cab. But she never took one. What about Hajime’s night with her? How she disappeared in the morning, how Hajime could never figure out the way she got back to the city cause it was simply not possible: no cabs, no buses there. Moreover, she was wearing high heels. No way she could get back to the city on foot. It took them hour and a half driving to get there, how much it would’ve taken her to get there on foot, wearing high heels?

b) The present Shimamoto gave Hajime disappeared with her in the morning. Okay, fine, I totally get the fact of her disappearance, but why would she take the present she gave him? She disappeared herself, she knew she’d never come back, so it was pretty logical to give Hajime something that would remind him of her. And she really did give it to him. But then she just took it back all of a sudden. What the hell.

c) That money in the envelope which disappeared at the end of the book. How do we even know that envelope ever existed? Did we see Hajime taking the envelope out of that drawer? Ever? Somehow interacting with the envelope? Never. He got the money from that mysterious man, he put it in the drawer and then at the end he found out that the envelope was no longer in the place where he put it. We can’t be sure it ever existed. We can’t even be sure he ever met that man.

d) Shimamoto’s medicine. (I’ll just put a quote here) ‘I looked at the packet. Nothing was written on it, not the name of the medicine, her name, directions. Strange, I thought, considering that such information is usually provided so you won’t take a medicine by mistake, or so others will know what to do’. Not much of a possibility Shimamoto had such a packet, especially considering that she had a really serious health issue (which is obvious cause she was literally dying in Hajime’s car) and she knew that such an attack (or whatever you call it) could happen to her anywhere at any time and she would need a person next to her to help her take the medicine, so the person needed to know exactly how to do this. Surely it was life and death matter to have all the information written on the package. But the information wasn’t there. Because probably there was no medicine at all.

And if all of this is not like that and I interpret it incorrectly then we need to look for an answer to the good old question which I’ve told you already about: what for did Murakami put all those episodes? What for was there that man and the envelope? What for did we see Hajime thinking about why didn’t the package have any information? And, finally, and most importantly, we need to answer this question: freaking why did Hajime ask himself at the end of each chapter whether what had happened to him REALLY did happened? Freaking why was he always searching for proof, for signs which would show him that he REALLY saw her, that they REALLY had that night, that the envelope was REALLY there? Is it even healthy from mental point of view to always doubt the events happening in your life? Do you ask yourself if you really met me? Do you ever try to find a proof of something that you saw with your own eyes?

· ‘Sometimes I’d think it must have all been a delusion, from start to finish a fantasy I cooked up in my head. …… But it did happen. It really happened. It really did happen’

· ‘Maybe I had had an illusion, I thought. But this had been no illusion. It really did happen’

· ‘But once I acknowledged that the envelope had disappeared, its existence and nonexistence traded places in my consciousness. A conviction that the envelope had never actually existed swelled up inside me’

So here we come to a pretty obvious question: what the hell was wrong with Hajime? Was he a schizophrenic or what? Well, we’ll never know for sure, and there’s only a couple of things I came up with to support the idea but they are not very persuasive to be honest.

1. From the very beginning I got that strange sensation of some kind of abnormality in Hajime’s relationship with the world. Something with his wife, something with his children, I still can’t make it out, but the center of all of this lies here: when it came to leaving everything and going to Shimamoto, he said to himself that he didn’t care about anything except Shimamoto. He clearly made a point that he didn’t care AT ALL about what would happen to his children after he left. How could that be? Not caring about two little daughters? At all? Absolute apathy? I’d get it if he felt it towards his wife but not towards his children. Moreover, he was ready to leave his business which he struggled so much about before, ready to forget about returning the money he lent from his wife’s father. It’s not even that he was ready to leave it all, no, he was ready not to care about it anymore. At all. And here it already looks like an obsession with Shimamoto in sake of which he was ready to throw everything away.

2. Before I came up with the second interpretation I wondered what is the scene with Izumi suddenly appearing in his life again doing in the book. What’s the meaning? But if we stick to my second interpretation, it would have a meaning. It was some kind of a tipping point. After seeing Izumi, Hajime started getting down to earth and all those Shimamoto stuff, all his memories and illusions started fading away. If it’s not like that, I have no idea why Murakami put this thing into the book.

So, everything adds up, right? Seems like I found an explanation for a lot of things and now the book finally makes sense, a whole lotta sense to be honest, but still there’s something going out of tune here.

Why did Murakami put the scene with Shimamoto telling Hajime about her baby’s death? If Shimamoto was only an illusion, why would Hajime need to imagine such an episode? Why would he need that baby in Shimamoto’s life? What does this baby’s death mean? Why would Murakami even bring the baby, the new character into the book? What is the point here? But here’s something which strikes me even more: literally a paragraph after this episode we saw Shimamoto dying because of some breath problems. What did the baby die of? Breath problems. Is that just a coincidence or am I missing something important?

And here we come to the final point. The last sentence in the book.

‘Until someone came and lightly rested a hand on my shoulder, my thoughts were of the sea’. Who was it? Was it Shimamoto?

‘probably is a word you may find south of the border. but never, ever west of the sun’

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0225pm · 7 years ago

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this is gonna be one long ass post so pls bear with me. i just felt like i must write everything in details! today was probably the most surprising day ever for me (pun intended 😂) the night before han asked me if i had any plans or if i wanted to go anywhere on sunday of which i said, no because i really didn't have anywhere i needed to be so i asked him to plan something. he then said, "ok ah i plan but you cannot ask me any questions about whatever i plan. you just follow me only. if you ask also, i will just ignore and not answer the questions." which i agreed to!!! and i was honestly looking forward to see if he actually really did planned anything. the next day, i was in a frikin dilemma LOL. mainly because i didn't know what to wear. i thought of wearing something casual, an oversized tee with a jacket or something but i figured i might be too underdressed and for some reason i wanted to look bomb af for my man. i even put on my gold metallic eyeshadow which i usually never do and mascara!!!!! i just wanted to look cute la ok hahahaha to the point that i even asked seanna what to wear or to give me some ideas for an outfit. but i ended up just piecing my own look together - i wore this cute floral top which i got the other day at temt and my black pleated skirt. pairing it with my chucks and backpack made me look almost like a 90s high school kid or smth HAHAHAAH (what an exaggeration LOL) should have worn my choker out too but ughHh i think i may need to get a new one cus the one i have is a tad bit thick and feels uncomfortable after awhile. bc of my get-up, i felt like +1 to my self confidence!! it made me feel happy. anyway, he came over to my place to fetch me and was alr waiting for me when i came down. the first thing he said when he saw me was, "why you so prettyyyyy" FML can you imagine just how much i was bursting with excitement on the insides and how happy i was???? ofc he always do compliment me from time to time but this time it made me feel really happy because he said "i can see the effort you put into your look today"!!!!! which is true i rly did put quite a bit of extra effort than usual into picking out my outfit and make up today ^^ and those actually boosted my self confidence, it made me feel cute. but oh boy what he did on the bus made me feel all electrifying and melty wtf (can you feel two diff emotions at once bc i did!!!!) so we boarded the bus and took a seat and the next thing he said again was, "why you so prettyyyy" of which i humbly said "nooOoOooO" because i'm so shy???? wtf how long together already still so shy hahahaah. and then proceeded to sniff(?) and kiss my cheek and then a lot of skinship happened wtf i love skinship with han it makes me feel so loved omg the feeling is indescribable la if you really love someone, you will probably feel the same way i do!!!! my fav was when he kept looking at my tummy (ok i'm still actually rly shy about this even tho he said that he doesn't mind and find it cute) and then joked about how the top stretches out and became white (it's a black base top) bc of my tummy. and then i just kept like poking my tummy???????? and then he just grabbed my whole body into his arms and squished me tightly and said smth like "eeee geramnye!!!" wah fuk i rly love it when he speaks malay and go all touchy and clingy HAHAHAAHAH oh i also asked if he had alr eaten and if he still hasn't made any plans we can maybe go grab a bite first then walk around the mall or smth if we don't have any plans for the day. honest to God i don't mind not doing anything as long as i'm with him!! this is absolutely legit. we don't even have to talk or whatever as long as he's physically there for me to see and hold on to ya know what i mean? ok and then we walked towards the mrt and by this time i still don't know where we were going!!!! i kept asking but like he told me the night before, he just ignored my questions and left them unanswered. he then asked me to sit under the fan (it was blazing hot today) while he walked over to he mrt waiting area and as i observed, took out his phone (i thought hmmm maybe he's trying to search where to eat or smth) and then we boarded the train and stopped at kembangan????? which just makes me questioned him again bc why kembangan when there's nothing there at all! there are no malls and places there seems barren. again, he didn't answer and then took me to the taxi stand. by this time i was kinda trying to be patient bc it was so hot and i was perspiring and my makeup was melting and my outfit felt sticky under all that perspiration i just didn't feel cute anymore. i kinda felt like all my efforts to dress up for him was gone just like that and i blame the sun!!!!! it has been rather humid lately and i hate it sfm! and then he told me to stand under the shade while he smoked a stick and then made some calls. by this time i knew he was alr booking a grab and i demanded answers. i wanted to know why he's wasting his money on grab YET AGAIN when we could have just taken the train and save $$!!! we ended up taking the grab anyway and i kinda snapped at him inside and i felt rly sorry for it bc i can be quite a bitch when i'm hot and sweaty. and then bc he didn't wanna tell me where were we going i thought maybe i can ask the grab driver but apparently EVEN SHE WAS IN CAHOOTS WITH HAN OK like i came to a sudden realization that maybe han called her to tell her not to tell me if i asked!!!!!!!! and then she drove thru geylang area and i asked han again where we're going and this time he gave me a hint!!!!!! he said "we're going somewhere where there are lots of food" so ofc my initial thought was onekm!! bc we were nearby and then i asked him "is it onekm?" and then he said "ya how u know!!!" but ugh he lied bc the driver drove past onekm and then all of a sudden we were nearby suntec area. han tried to cover my sight bc he didn't want me to see where we were gonna end up at but i struggled (i was in an uncomfortable position) so he finally relented and then spilled the beans by pointing to a poster of yayoi kusama outside and telling me that's where we're going. AND I WAS SO SHOOKETH!!!! wtf i rly was so shocked ..... ............ it never crossed my mind, not even once throughout the whole journey that he was taking me to the art gallery to see her exhibitions. istg i was so shook i didn't know what to say to him. all i rmbr saying was "omg yayoi kusama??? you're bringing me to yayoi kusama????? it's expensive tho omg whattttttttt" and then i said smth like "noOoo let's not go and waste money it's rly expensive it's like 30 bux per entry wtf" and then he said smth like "u dw go then i go myself la" and i was like "no wth!!!!!" and when we reached there, unfortunately the tickets were all sold out ahahahahah it was rly quite unfortunate bc han took so much effort and wasted money on grabbing down but honestly i felt really fucking touched by his actions today. like all those efforts to keep it a surprise till the very end, money spent on grab bc he thought that if we take the train all the way we will be late for the exhibitions, trying to plan something even though he's a horrible planner. everything he did makes me appreciate his existence in my life even more. he's rly so boyfriend material now wtf so fucking sweet and romantic. but he was really really disappointed to find out that the tickets were all sold out to the point that he even went back down to ask the person at the counter if there's really no tickets left. he said smth like "i don't usually do this and it's not everyday that i plan smth for u but the tickets are all sold out. i should have made an online booking la fuck la" he was just blaming himself all the way and i really felt so sad for him. i wanted to cheer him up but i didn't rly know how to bc i knew how much he tried his best to make me happy today. and for that, i am really really thankful bc in the end, it's the thought that really counts!!! his mood from there on just changed :( and he suddenly became rather grouchy and masked it by saying that he was hungry. but i knew he was still disappointed by the fact that his plans was botched. OK I WILL CONTINUE PART 2 LATER WHEN I AWAKEN FROM MY SLUMBER BC ITS 4:50AM AND IM STARTING TO FEEL SLEEPY

#julywithhan #adaywithhan #230717 #july

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