#i think thats everyone important
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Viktor's Complicated Color Progression to The Machine Herald and his strugles with Black Mana
Viktor is a very complicated character with a myriad of tragedies. To me I think based on his story, his place in the world, his relationship to the color pie pushes Viktor firmly as Yore-Tiller. It is the combo of Artifice. Of innovation, progress, evolution.
Viktor is a scientist at heart, a man of discovery and creation. As a child he tinkers and builds and as an adult he invents and evolves. This is why Viktor's core color is obviously Blue Mana.
Inherently curious about the world.
As he meets Singed he gains structure, a mentor, he sees a purpose in science. Not just finding fun or making toys but cultivation and growth. Even if he doesn’t understand it yet this is the foundation of his connection to White Mana.
Viktor gains a sense of morality, ambition is not worth anything. Not worth harming those you claim to help. Suffering is never justified
“There is always a choice.”
This Azorius state is where I believe Viktor spends most of his life. A scientist with an ethic working under constraints in a very ordered society. Piltover is an Azorius state. One more heavily influenced by Blue than White but Azorius nonetheless. Viktor gives himself completely to Piltover until he meets Jayce.
And then the sickness starts. The Desperation. As Viktor rots so do some of those morals, those boundaries. He steps over his line in the sand. But only he does, he won’t sacrifice anyone else for his ambition or his salvation. He gains a tempered connection to Black Mana.
This is a connection that is wavering, he is desperate and grasping. He is not ambitious enough to truly harness black, he can’t bring himself to harm another for his own gain. He only carves himself apart to gain a future. But then he goes too far, Skye gets killed and he pulls out completely.
When shown the cost Viktor won’t pay.
He lets go of the Hexcore, of Black.
And then he dies.
Here he sits, until his body is healed.
From the tomb he rises. Now he is empowered by the Hexcore, and at first I think he teeters on the edge of Black.
He is lost, aimless and emotionless.
And then the Rebirth, the Evolution. He saves the people he always wanted to help. He is renewed.
He touches Red Mana.
He is passionate about his dream, he is exploring new vistas and ignoring boundaries but not out of a desire to gain but to help. He puts himself in a vulnerable self sacrificing position for Warwick regardless of Skye’s knowledge of the systems limits
“He is worth the risk.”
He fosters a chaotic growth in his commune. A place of change and revolution and peace. A place where the Jeskai colors flourish. However there is no place for Green Mana here. At least not for Viktor. Viktor seeks to evolve and as he puts it,
“Evolution’s purpose is to supersede nature.”
Not a very Green ideology if you ask me.
This leads us to the Hammer of Damocles above Viktor.
Jayce.
Jayce for whatever reason (my theory on why is far too long to get into but basically Jayce is creating the future he saw by mistake, tragic consequences, three times the charm, etc.) decides that Viktor and what he has built needs to die. Regardless of if he was correct (I don’t believe he was for aforementioned reasons I won’t get into.) or not he has done damage. There is no going back.
Whether because of Singed or as I hope his own desperation, ambition, and need to evolve will push Viktor to his final state. This is when he will finally grasp Black Mana.
He will touch the Void, let go of his humanity and seek only progress. He gains the ambition and the stomach for violent action. Viktor was not born with power, he wasn’t handed power, no, as Silco once described Viktor must now take power by any means necessary.
To herald a new age, a new world.
To bring about the Grand Evolution.
#viktor#viktor arcane#arcane spoilers#mtg#magic the gathering#color pie#hes complicated ok#jayce has a similarity complicated progression#jayce is jeskai but i think has a grixis phase#heimderdinger is also jeskai#jinx is a compicated grixis#vi is ghruul#ekko is temur or inktreader but i like temur#cait is azorius but has a fascist esper phase#mel is mono white and mbessa is jund or dunebrood#silco WAS mardu and vander WAS naya#sevika is jund#warwick is jund too#singed is sultai#i think thats everyone important#dont judge my ideas#most are not very confident but i can explain any of them at least somewhat#edited for typos#arcane#arcane season 2#arcane jayce#arcane viktor
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pleas please ambrosius is the model knight, he's what all knights should aspire to be, he comes from the right family he does well in training, he's the model knight, he works within an institution because it benefits him--as long as he works in it, because the second the director thinks he's questioning things too much she kills him--are you picking up what im putting down? he keeps his true feelings buried--never show doubt, don't show conflict, keep your head down, do what you're told, aren't you so lucky to have this chance, aren't you glad you were born as you are and not like the others--are you hearing what im saying
(listen to eugene lee yang talk about this on the trypod)
#IT'S ABOUT THE MODEL MINORITY MYTH THATS WHAT IM SAYING#nimona spoilers#nimona#ambrosius goldenloin#nimona movie#listen i love queer allegory as much as the next person but can we be intersectional for a moment#in this movie about a police state you MUST consider race#the link starts at the important part but honestly i think everyone should listen to eugene talk about this movie#bidoof thinks#mixed kid tag
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derg
#wings of fire#mcsm#mcsm au#wof au#premaposting#i made these actually a long bit ago#except for jesse 2 thats recent#but the rest of them were from a good bit ago#i didnt want to post it idk why but i dont want it to rot in my folders either so im posting it#ok my thought process from these#i did a funny and made all of the jesses just mudwing sibs#the main one or first listed is acc the runt. thats why they look weird. theyre not fleshed out yet :(#second one is one of the only older siblings that are still around. the rest had separated for jobs and such#but she lingers around a bit. job-looking but occasionally is there to cheer her lil sib on and stuff#i didnt want the rest of them to be the same tribe or the same main tribe so i made axel a hivewing#skywing could work however i really really wanted petra to be a skywing#i chose hivewing also bc i wanted the ofts to match with them and i made magnus hivewing i think#ik ellegaard is a sandwing#thats why olivia is sand/night#i couldnt decide on whether to make either of them sand or night#so i made olivia both#petra skywing/seawing#i could not not give her seawing literal pirate motif#also smth smth earring is actually important and not really for show#then lukas silk/sand. debating on whether he should have fire be a flamesilk or have neither#a lot of these choices im still debating idk nightwing lukas would be cool#but i didnt want to choice obvi picks for everyone. tried to get a little creative#these tags are so long jsdnsjdnsjdsdkjsdkjsndsnd helppppp#update just realized i abbreviated the order as ofts instead of oots#smhhhhh im a fake fan
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Quick re-do of a 4 year old piece
#to test my abilities... no jk#I mean kind of lol#I WANTED To test my abilities but then I couldnt think of anything#so then I just redid an older piece#I remembered the old one started black and white and then I did effects over it so I did that again#cause I just wanted to play around with lighting#and I think its pretty obvious how much I've improved#I also only spent like an hour on the second one#wasnt trying to make anything amazing here#just trying t make something that reminds myself how growth can look and feel#important stuff to do as an artist#I'm still sick btw lol#I love how when youre losing your voice everyone goes 'wow you sound terrible'#I get why. I sound terrible. but its so fucking funny like. culturally#like holy shit what the fuck is wrong with you !#but its polite and empathetic#I havent been getting work done on account of is sick#actually not entirely true#I did a good bit of work for we were legion and some for TTA too#but it was just no drawing work#all writing work#which theres just a lot more of to for wwl than for tta#anyways#we were legion#zagan#art redo#art improvement#spent easily twice as long on the original thats a skill upgrade roight there
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universal healthcare is not broken and anyone trying to convince you it is is delusional and a dckrider for big health insurance. yes there are wait times but waiting for care is Not the same as being denied care.
in america your physician prescribes care and an insurer can still cuck you out of it because someone across the continent who has never met you can say: doesn’t seem medically necessary. Leaving you to handle a bill that is wildly inflated by the same insurers that just denied you.
let me drill it through your head you can pay thousands a year in premiums and still end up sick and financially burdened for years by One incident. no insurance company is Avoiding going broke by denying claims. theyre doing it to profit off your misfortune and your illness. Because healthcare fundamentally does not cost the amount that they claim it to be.
#delete later#out of pocket rant#i hate these god awful takes on universal health care#and i hate this oh he killed a father#how many fathers do you think uhc let die be real with me#oh 8 billion is only 6% profit margin#bitch it could be 2 percent it could be a negative loss#this is me saying oh i resold a shoe for $60 after buying it for $50 when i also made it for 80 cents#i have been denied things like chest xrays and lung exams#i btw have had a chronic cough for 4+ years#in canada i got this done on the same fking day and results back within a month#there are indeed horror stories and on both sides of know ppl who died due to delayed diagnosis#and ppl who died bc they didnt even want the diagnosis it would have cost them too much#but robbing someone of the choice in my opinion is the worse of the two#putting someone in an impossible position like that is evil#this country love god so much better start praying u stay healthy bc thats the most important thing#also like those horror stories of wait times in the er#im gonna be real if u have severe stomach pain are actively bleeding heart attack or stroke#you will be seen asap#yes if unfortunately everyone around u that day decided to have a stroke or heart attack ur appendicitis will be punted down the line#this is a resource issue NOT a cost issue#this is a they also cut funding to nursing school and limited the number of ppl who can pursue medical degrees issue#not a we dont have privatized health care issue#bc ultimately u need a doctor to see u#not someones sister who is taking stabs at it#and every doctor is bound by the concept of time???#u still have to wait in america ur Charged for it also#and yall it doesn’t even have to be a Big incident#ur local urgent care might just be closed after 8pm and at 9pm u need stitches#or have severe stomach pains and just want it checked
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let it be known that i love prince inigo with my whole soul. however sometimes it is SO much fun to think about owain and his two most loyal-est knights you ever seen: worst guy in the world #1 and worst guy in the world #2. i love retainer inigo and severa so much. retainers who bully you and make fun of you and trash on you but they’d leave behind everyone and everything they ever knew to follow you and protect you in a whole new universe. they love you so much that they’d swear allegiance to total strangers but that loyalty pales in comparison to what they’d do for you. and they were all lovers!!!!!!!
#ann plays awakening#awakening trio#sometimes i forget owain is literal royalty and like#in the bad timeline hes probably like. the second most important person there?? unless luci has a sibling#obviously she’d need her own retainers but unfortunately i am thimking awakening trio thoughts. i miss. i love them in any form#that they are handed to me#i love them as best friends. as forced circumstance allies to family. as lovers.#i know i said lovers in this post but im not sure they’d ever label it as that#to me its very much ‘its not exactly romantic but its too intense to be platonic’#what i am getting at is queer platonic awakening trio btw. in case that wasnt obvious#like no matter who they are or where they go they are eachothers people dude. like literally do not separate#anyways im gonna be thinking long and hard about who should be everyones parents in this timeline#i have what i call my ‘main’ pairings and thats what i use for most of my headcanons (ex prince inigo)#but i’d like a completely separate one for owain retainer trio#i think im pretty set on fred!severa#i couuuldddd pick fred!inigo which i do think is SUPER compelling as well but something about freddy!severa… also shes so cute as a brunette#like sorry… shes just so beautiful#ive been having a lot of thoughts aboht tharj!inigo and i need to figure out if thats current bias talking or if im cooking with that one#i got no idea who owain’s second parent should be. robin maybe? idk#i mean his second parent isnt quite as impactful in regards to trio dynamics in this case just because he’s always the prince but. idk#i really like the idea of half plegian owain but i ALWAYS run half plegian owain cuz im always pairing lissa with robin or henry so its like#this isnt new 😭😭😭 but god. PLEGIAN OWAIN!!!!!!!!!!!!!!#hm. though. hear me out. manakete owain???????????????? ehhh????#sorry. idk. i love how changing the parents of the second gen can change their characterization. its like my favorite thing ever#i think its why im so attached to all of them. theres always new things to explore with them!!! its so much fun!!!!!!#graaarfggjjjhhhhhhn!!!!
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i really do think the desire to paint ten as unambiguously The Worst™️ when it comes to his relationship with martha is out of this desire to uncomplicate their relationship. to decouple them as friends and people who profoundly impacted each other’s lives. it’s just an easier narrative to swallow: that ten was Awful to her and then martha kicked him to the curb when she realized she was too good for him. easier, maybe, then dealing with the troubles of unrequited affection don’t have to be anyone’s fault, or that ten shut martha out in a lot of ways but let her in in others that he wouldn’t let any other companion near, or that they were still friends, they still wanted to see each other and be around each other, even though it was messy and sometimes hurt. you know?
#sometimes the doctor is shitty. this is not news we know this. this is part of the package. its what makes their relationships with their#companions so interesting so important.#like. how do i put this. i see posts sometimes about how ten was ‘leading martha on’ implying that he was taking advantage of her feelings#to keep her around. and. okay. so. putting aside how that’s a weird thing to say about anyone period.#its also just. from my viewing experience. not true?#the doctor is just sort of Like That. he’s too intense he’s too quick to grasp for emotional intimacy he’s too messy.#but he’s not leading her on. he really is just Like That.#like i feel by getting caught up in the fact that martha is hurt by being compared to rose and is hurt by the fact that the doctor can’t or#won’t return her feelings. and like. yeah. of course that hurts.#but in being caught up in that. i think what im saying is that it feels like people sometimes forget that he’s. not required to do that.#like just because she has feelings for him doesn’t mean he needs to get over himself and return them or else he’s using her. that’s. that’s#not how relationships work. people can have romantic feelings and still be friends and not have anything come of it and that’s not a#terrible outcome. thats just how friendships are sometimes.#thats the core of it to me. they’re friends. the way people post about ten & martha sometimes i wonder if everyone’s forgotten that they#are friends. that they last parted as friends. that martha doesn’t hate him or secretely resent him for how he treated her.#like. she’s got complicated feelings about the whole thing. but they didn’t stop being friends.#i tell you what: if the doctor was in trouble and called for help. you could be damn certain that martha jones would be one of the first#people to answer. that’s what i know.#doctor who#the doctor#tenth doctor#martha jones
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original pinned
[ ARCHIVING! ]
hi hii so,,, after a lot of thought and contemplating i think it’d be best for me to archive this blog </3
i came to tumblr nearly a year ago and it’s been fun but now i’m drained + uninspired, n i js have so much stress n negative emotions associated w this blog that now its time to leave and maybe start anew ?
who knows! :>
i’ve gone back and forth with if i should delete my works here or not bcs ik lots of people love them but they’ve js been a constant bad reminder to me and i’m not proud of most of them anymore :<< but as of rn i’ll be leaving them + this blog up!!
(may change in the future but i’m scared of the deact button LOL)
js kinda being on here stresses me out and its no longer fun so i hope that by doing this i can have some peace + you still get to read my old stuff :3
i started this blog js before my first year of uni and i never expected to stay this long on tumblr honestly,, like i was js gonna post a bit for fun n delete my acc LOL but i’m vv thankful for the almost 2k of you who stuck around and enjoyed my writing ^_^
youre all vv sweet n i wish i couldve provided more writing on here for yall to read before archiving this blog TvT i feel like i have nothing here honestly LOL
if my blog does deact, i may repost my fics on my new blog but for now i js wanna be lwk on here and not have to worry abt updating so many series at the same time (so sorry to all dfh, vbs, loveholic ++ all other fans of my ongoing series :<< the stress to write and update is too much for me to handle 😞)
please take care of yourselves and i hope to catch you again someday if you find me !! :3
bye bye!
#the read more is js sum other info its not too important LOL#idk if i should rb this a few times or not but like . we’ll see lolz#it feels weird leaving right before my one year anni of this acc . . . :<#ik ive like— said i’ll archive and move a bunch bcs im rlly indecisive so im sorry abt that everyone LOL#but js being on this acc where i cant priv my blog js kind of stresses me out and i dont like this feeling 😞#++ i havent been active much w my mutuals so i’m sorry all my moots :(( wish i couldve chatted more w you all on here !!#anon is off bcs i get sm nasty anons but to all my lovely anons i’ll miss youuuu#i think thats all i need to say in tags if i think of smth later on i might add it here LOL#( 𝐂𝐋𝐔𝐁 𝐍𝐎𝐓𝐈𝐂𝐄 )
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#i am... redesigning some of my buggies#specifically me bee#my bumble beast in combo with the bee sona i made last year...#reblog for sample size if u want this isnt an important question#i am thinking abt the logistics of including support for itty bitty anthros that would be really Small#(like rodents and small lizards and bugs)#in an average to way above average anthro society#OR to just make it simple and make em all human range sizes#but#thats BORING#i need.... little houses for little beasts... and BIG houses for BIG beasts... and everyone is very casual abt it all because thats just#the way it is#anyways#im done rambling 4 now catch u all on the furry world building 2 electric boogaloo#this poll prolly wont effect what i do personally but it did make me curious what other ppl think
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Nothing's Wrong with Dale: Part Thirty-Three
It’s been a week, but you’re fairly certain your fiancé accidentally got himself replaced by an eldritch being from the Depths. Deciding that he’s certainly not worse than your original fiancé, you endeavor to keep the engagement and his new non-human state to yourself.
However, this might prove harder than you originally thought.
Fantasy, arranged marriage, malemonsterxfemalereader, M/F
AO3: Nothing's Wrong with Dale Chapter 33
[Part One][Part Two] [Part Three] [Part Four] [Part Five] [Part Six] [Part Seven] [Part Seven.5][Part Eight] [Part Nine] [Part Ten] [Part Eleven] [Part Twelve] [Part Thirteen] [Part Fourteen] [Part Fifteen] [Part Sixteen] [Part Seventeen] [Part Eighteen] [Part Nineteen] [Part Twenty] [Part Twenty-One] [Part Twenty-Two][Part Twenty-Three] [Part Twenty-Four][Part Twenty-Five][Part Twenty-Six][Part Twenty-Seven] [Part Twenty-Eight][Part Twenty-Nine] [Part Thirty] [Part Thirty-One] [Part Thirty-Two] Part Thirty-Three [Part Thirty-Four] [Part Thirty-Five]
Violins played a lively tune as your and your new husband danced for the first time as a married couple.
Your focus had been intense for the first round of dancing as you were by yourselves in front of the entire wedding luncheon, but luckily by the second other couples were invited to join. Marigold and her husband were the first to come onto the floor, with plenty of others on their heels. You finally felt as if you had the chance to stop watching yourself so closely and perhaps truly look at Dale.
He looked splendid in his navy suit, the gold trimming that would look heavy-handed on others merely looked elegant with how easily he wore it. Despite the dancing—you felt your carefully styled curls, the ones framing your face, starting to lose their sleek definition and could see the evidence of movement whenever they flew in your vision—Dale’s hair was perfect, not a strand out of place. Was it silly to hope the cause was something inhuman so that you could feel better about your own inability to maintain such perfect composure?
His black hair was neatly contained by its low tie, a golden ribbon that complimented his suit. His breath was controlled too—deep but not panting as yours was. His hands weren’t sweaty where they held onto you, at your waist and your own hand as the dance instructed. It was leaving you feel rather self-conscious about your appearance.
If he was nervous about the crowd as you were, he’d not shown it. Although perhaps you’d been distracting yourself with anxiety over the crowd so none could build at the way his eyes hadn’t left you, his gaze more intense and focused than usual. You couldn’t afford the liability getting lost in his blue eyes would incur, at least you couldn’t when you were alone with him on the dance floor.
The first couple fast paced dances gave way to slower waltzes and you found your focus drawing tighter and tighter onto Dale and Dale alone. His confident steps, his large hands on you, his strength supporting you. His unwavering gaze—the affection and warm regard you still didn’t quite expect to see on Dale’s face, let alone directed at yourself.
The dance slowed further with no more twists or jumps, no more parting only to come back together for brief seconds. You were pressed against him, your skirts no match for Dale’s competent steps and hold. He wasn’t as warm as he should be, but even that was welcome and spoke to how wonderfully unwavering he felt at the moment. As if nothing could stand against him and win—and you at his side.
He pulled you closer still and you could feel the soft velvet of his jacket brush your cheek before you remember your audience, only enough not to give in to that final indulgence of resting your head on his shoulder, no matter how tempting it seemed.
“Are you enjoying yourself, sana?” Dale murmured, inclining his head closer to be heard over the music.
“Yes,” you replied, not seeing any reason to keep the easy answer to yourself. “I am.” You allowed him to steer the primary dramatic turn this dance has, spinning out and back to be caught in his arms in a move that heightened the intimacy of being held so close by contrasting it with the seconds you were apart. “Are you?”
“Yes,” he answered immediately, re-securing his grip on you. “I’m glad we don’t have to worry so much about managing other dance partners today. I’d prefer to only dance with you.”
“There are more talented dancers out there,” you couldn’t help but point out. You were always worried he had to slow himself down to keep up with you, who got winded so much faster than he did. “Even in here. Why—”
Dale shook his head. “But they aren’t you. You suit me best and I’m enjoying having you all to myself.”
Heat rose in your cheeks as you resisted the urge to hide your face against his chest. It was hard not to follow that line of thinking, let alone rebuff it or tease him back. Not on when he’s your husband. Not when you get him all to yourself tonight. His dancing skills easily morph into what other talents he might have, physically and in how he complements and anticipates you.
You heard your name on his lips, questioning, but teasing. Trying to draw your eyes back to his instead of at his shoulder.
The next murmur of your name is accompanied by a jolt that’s out of place with the dance. Slowly, you realize that Dale isn’t in front of you, but to your side and that you’re sitting down. Sitting down in a carriage.
You blearily blink your eyes open, adjusting easily to the low afternoon light. You are comfortable and warm and so almost immediately close your eyes once more. The cushions of the carriage are plush and Dale is a solid comfort at your side, supporting your head so your neck isn’t even sore—the usual consequence that befell you if you sleep sitting upright. Instead you’re so relaxed you don’t want to move from your spot.
“We’re only a quarter of an hour from our destination,” Dale says, his voice low and quiet. “I thought you might want to be awoken before we arrived.”
“Thank you,” you reply, your hand coming up to your mouth to cover a yawn because he is correct. You’ve no desire to be jolted awake and out of the carriage in a hurry.
While you get your bearings, you see Dale pop the last bit of a pasty into his mouth. Your own mouth floods with saliva, not only because you realize you’re hungry. You get distracted from the thought of sustenance by the sight of Dale licking his fingers clean. You wonder if the privacy the two of you are currently enjoying is why the red of his tongue seems more vibrant and its length seems longer than you remember.
Dale must notice your preoccupation because he gives you a sheepish smile, hiding his teeth and tongue behind soft lips to say, “Help yourself to what remains. I’m afraid that I ate the majority of the offerings.” He reaches forward, careful, you realize, not to jostle his right arm which you’re still clutching to your chest as he picks up the basket. He offers it to you. “I left you the mushroom pasty.”
You reluctantly let go of his hand to accept the offered pasty. You smile at his thoughtfulness: meat would have been far more likely to upset your stomach, especially in a pasty. “Thank you.” You keep your other arm still entwined with his, holding it to your side. It’s nice that it's been warmed from how you’ve been holding it.
Dale makes no effort to reclaim his arm from your possession. Instead he fills the silence with easy conversation as he had been when you must have drifted off. He tells you about the part of the journey you slept through—where there was trouble, which road he noticed should be next on your list for improvements, and how often they stopped to water the horses.
From all this, you gather you’ve made pretty good time. The sun’s only just beginning to set. Dale doesn’t press you to wake up faster or try to get you to contribute more to the conversation. It makes you think of what a morning might be like with Dale, him talking about your plans for the day while you can wake up at your own pace.
Of course you don’t even know if you’ll be sharing chambers or have separate ones—you’d not had the nerve to ask and no one else brought it up. It varied quite a lot among couples to your understanding—noble ones that is.
Sometimes it came down to space if it was possible—certain city houses with their limited space chose to prioritize rooms for entertaining or children over separate master and mistress chambers. Other times it was about practical comfort. Some sleep in the same bed but also maintain separate chambers for dressing and other personal matters.
Callalily swears if she had to sleep in the same room as her husband every night she’d murder him due to the snoring alone. But Asher and his wife never sleep apart. Marigold says it depends on what else is going on, their moods—how hot it is.
You just added this to the list of matters you’ve never had the privacy to discuss with Dale. At least this would be decided to some degree tonight since you would be going to sleep somewhere. Although your nap had refreshed you. And tomorrow, and ideally the rest of the week, you’d be able to sequester yourself away with Dale and talk through everything else while you settle into your new marriage. After everything that happened, you aren’t going to let any more time go by without doing so. It’s tonight that’s still in question.
You take the time while listening and thinking to check your hair and clothes, getting them back in order from being rumbled by your nap. Even these little worries are starting to feel less daunting and more exciting, as you remember your dances, as you sit pressed against Dale in comfort, as you now know you and he are on the same page.
The carriage jolts to a stop, propelling you out of your thoughts and into the present. Dale reluctantly pulls out of your grip and you fight the urge not to let him. To hold on tight instead. No matter how ridiculous it would make leaving the carriage. You are a newly wed couple, surely some amount of foolishness is expected.
Still, it’s clear Dale’s intent on playing up his role as lord and husband, alighting from the carriage to offer his hand to help you down while a footman holds the doors open. Carefully you get to your feet, legs stiff after having been seated for such a long journey.
A small number of servants are lined up awaiting your arrival, including those you know and the ones who must be local to this lodge. You still feel rather sleepy and tired from all the socializing. It’s as if your mouth and mind know no more is officially required of them and so they’ve given up. You let Dale take the lead and had reclaim your hold on his arm as soon as you are able to.
He looks startled but indulgent, which you are more than willing to accept.
You listen and do greet the housekeeper, but otherwise you allow yourself to be taken for the tour without much input or effort. It’s a lovely house, secluded and far smaller than a typical estate, obviously meant for only a few main guests or to be a wayhouse on longer journeys. It’s older, but well maintained. The traditional style is why the servants are housed separately.
You feel as though the first floor tour goes by fast, but you start to feel some alertness, some anticipation, start to edge out the sleepy contentment that’d been lapping at your veins, when you go upstairs. It has well furnished studies, including a detailed map of the grounds the housekeeper goes over with you, in case you wish to ride or hunt. She doesn’t spend too long on it though, a twinkle in her eyes that makes you more self-conscious of your newly married status even more than some of the jokes made at the wedding luncheon.
The fact that she goes next to the bedrooms does not help you regain hold of your composure. She opens a door down the hall and allows you and Dale to enter first. “Here is the mistress’s room,” the housekeeper informs you. “Given the size of the house, the traditional dressing and sleeping rooms are combined.”
“They’re very nice,” you say for lack of anything better coming to mind. Your heart sank when she opened the door. You’d been hoping for a combined suite as it would take care of some of the awkwardness. Although perhaps it is only you who feels that way. Dale certainly is showing nothing of the sort. He’s only spoken with the housekeeper during the entire tour, though he’s glanced at you at times.
Now he just nods, allowing you to take the lead as she shows you the various accommodations and where certain trunks of yours had been placed. Dale’s focus is entirely on you and you can nearly feel his scrutiny like a tangible thing. It’s enough to let you know not to meet his eyes or you’ll become ensnared by his gaze, as you always do when he gets like this.
As it is, you manage to make all the appropriate affirmative noises and agreements, answering the housekeeper’s minimal questions. Before you know it she’s shown you the entire room. Just as you’re wondering what will happen next—will you stay here or follow her and Dale to his chambers—when she puts a hand on a door you realize she’s not opened.
“Your shared sitting room is through here,” she explains, opening said door and leading the way through to a very nice, spacious sitting room. You listen with one ear to her talk of the furnishings and history but your focus is on the door opposite the one you came through.
The housekeep doesn’t spend too much time here before she’s saying. “… and finally, the master’s chamber.”
She gave a similar tour of his rooms while you try not to overthink your grip on his arm nor stare at the bed, with its fresh and luxurious looking bed linens. The sheets are white but the covers are blue. You don’t know why you’re fixated on such inconsequential details. Maybe they’re just the most innocent aspects of the bed you can distract yourself with.
The housekeeper is briefer with her explanation for this room as it’s a mirror of the mistress’ chambers. Soon enough she guides you both back to the sitting room to wrap up. “Would you like anything, my lord, my lady? Vitals to keep up your health, preparing the beds, your body servants?”
You look up at Dale, who, as he sometimes does, seems taller than he had even back in the carriage. Since you just had some food in the carriage, you are satisfied. He’s the one with the big appetite.
He smiles down at you before looking back at the housekeeper. “We ate before arrival and on our journey. Tomorrow morning will be sufficient.”
“Yes, my lord.”
“It has been such a long day,” Dale continues. “I believe we’ll retire for the evening. Tell Mr. Murray I will send for him in the morning, if need be.”
“Please do send Miss Adir to me,” you ask, knowing your dress is harder to get out of than Dale’s attire. Perhaps on a more ordinary day you’d be able to manage on your own, but for tonight with such a fancy gown, you need the help. If you were sharing a room, perhaps you might have asked Dale, but as it stands now, you haven’t the courage to ask–especially not in front of the housekeeper.
“Yes, my lady.” The housekeeper leaves to fetch your maid while you and Dale stay behind in the sitting room.
“It’s a charming house,” you say, feeling the need to fill the silence in a manner you haven’t since you’ve woken up.
“Indeed. How are you feeling?” Dale asks, a little more nervous and a little more sincere now that you’re alone together. “Still tired from the journey?”
You shake your head. “No, I feel rather rejuvenated from my nap.” You shift where you stand as you resist the urge to fuss with your dress—it had dug in in certain places while you slept and is far past beginning to feel uncomfortable. The lace in particular at your neck is becoming itchy.
“But you wish to change,” Dale guesses.
“Yes.”
“Of course, I agree,” Dale says and shifts his shoulders in his jacket. “Would you like to join me in my room when you’ve refreshed?”
“Yes,” you reply, eyes on the door where Miss Adir is entering. “I shall rejoin you shortly.”
Dale nods, his expression polite, but his eyes stormy. Not that you can ever truly tell what his eyes are telling you–all the signs to read are off for him. You’ll need time to study him better. Which you now have because he’s your husband. You’ve no notion of his experience, but perhaps he’s nervous about everything as well. Or maybe there are additional considerations for tonight given his nature you can’t even fathom.
You turn and head for your rooms, not enjoying how performative everything is starting to feel, especially with another person present.
Miss Adir quietly chatters about her trip. She points out where certain of your items were put away and what is still packed while she helps you out of your overgown and skirts.
You make affirmative noises and give quiet answers to her questions about your own trip. Soon enough, you’re left in your shift alone. “Thank you, Miss Adir. That will be all for tonight.”
“Of course.” Miss Adir looks as if she would like to say something further but instead she just curtsies. “Good night, my lady.”
You finger the wine colored silk ribbon that is woven into the lace trim on your chemise while you listen for the door to shut, occupying yourself with brushing your hands along the skirt to ensure it falls correctly. Even after you’re alone, you waste more time, fussing with your hair and clothes until you can delay no longer.
Once it’s making you more tense to stay here, delaying, you leave your chambers, cross the sitting room, and walk through Dale’s open door.
You shut it quietly behind you, eyes searching for Dale. You frown at the sight of him, only his jacket removed and his waistcoat unbuttoned, sitting on the corner of his bed. He looks still remarkably dressed, as you might find him in his private study. Not how you’d expect to see him in his bed chambers on the night of your wedding. “Dale?”
Dale looks up and stares at you like he’s never seen you before despite the fact that he also looks as if he’s waiting for you. He blinks and gets to his feet. Your eyes dart to the lamp on the wall—it's not really dark enough to need one, but the shadows guttered with his movement in a manner that betrayed his nerves. When your eyes go back to his, he looks chagrined and the shadows still. “Apologies.”
You’re not sure what to say since you feel so throw off your own expectations. He’s acting as if there are still more secrets to spill and it’s got your nerves twanging. “It’s fine. Is everything alright?” Dale doesn’t look nervous as a person might on their wedding night. He looks nervous like a man on trial would.
“Yes, of course,” he replies. “Would you like to take a seat?”
“I…sure.” You hesitantly walk over to where he’s gesturing and seat yourself on the corner of the bed. “Yes.”
He paces in front of you and just as you’re about to ask again about what might have happened since you left him less than half an hour ago, he says, “So… I suppose you want to talk.”
He puts a lot of emphasis on “talk” that you don’t completely understand. You blink and repeat slowly, “Talk?”
“Yes, since you know I haven’t always been Dale and that I am a demon,” Dale elaborates. You still feel some surprise at him finally speaking plainly after so long of talking around the subject even after this morning. “I expect you have a lot of questions.”
“Oh!” You’d expected to ask such things tomorrow, not tonight. Not on your wedding night. It's obvious now that Dale’s given no thought to traditional wedding night activities. He’s obviously as focused on reassuring you as he had been back in his study. And you want to know more. You want to know everything, of course you do. You’d only thought…but no. He’s right. “I mean, I do.” Best to resolve all this now so he can start to trust in your acceptance. Best to get it all out in the open, in your new privacy, before something else got in the way. “Yes.”
“Well, we finally have some privacy,” Dale says, echoing your own thoughts so closely you almost smile, “and I don’t want you to be nervous or unsure about me.”
“I am sure of you,” you feel the need to say. You stand up because while you’d had other ideas for tonight, reassuring your husband you trust him certainly seems more important. “However, honest conversation is never bad and is overdue. I’ll brew some tea.”
Still, it’s harder than you think to swallow your disappointment. You take advantage of the distraction and familiarity preparing tea provides–the way it allows you to look away from and ensure your face isn’t giving away your chagrin.
Of course Dale would value a conversation about his nature and his experiences and clarifying with you over something so, so human. He’d said something about a mate, but who knew what that truly meant to him. You had no real idea if demons even had sex. He must know what humans did on their wedding nights, but it's clearly not on his mind now.
He pauses every now and then in his circuit of the room to hover a bit over you and the tea table, before backing off in a manner that makes it clear he’s not sure of his welcome still.
But what about that kiss? You mind wonders with some frustration. Was that just something he thought humans did? Did he think it was expected and complied, but hadn’t truly want to? Or maybe he simply didn’t care about this sort of physical affection? You begin to feel rather shallow and base in your preoccupation.
As you finally pour the tea into a cup for each of you, you tell yourself that you can only manage one thing at a time. For now, your focus has to be on understanding Dale and what he wants. You can figure the rest out later. He’s your husband now. You’ve got plenty of time.
You sit back down on the bed, cup clutched in your hand, while Dale takes his gratefully. To your mounting disappointment, he sits at the vanity instead of next to you.
“So,” he says, after a sip of tea, “where would you like to begin?”
[Part Thirty-Four]
#my writing#story part#story: nothing's wrong with dale#nothing's wrong with dale#monster romance#terato#exophilia#osha compliant#monster bf#arranged marriage#slow burn#reader#life got super busy and then i think i was sick this past weekend#at the very least i felt shitty and slept through most of it#but i'm better now and work is still a lot#but we're getting through it#anyway#you all wanted them to talk right?#thats what everyone's been waiting#the talking#nothing more important on the wedding night than a lore dump#sana's the only one who was thirsty af#right?
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#p4#p4g#persona 4#persona 4 golden#hanamura yosuke#yosuke hanamura#souyo#the fact that whether the player agrees or disagrees with her is irrelevant to yu's perception of his relationship with yosuke#in that it is strong#in that they get along#in that yeah yu essentially says thats right we DO get along well#i guess there isn't really a right or wrong answer but the second option rings a lot truer to me#thinking again about yosuke's “you were transferring from the city so i thought we would get along”#except yosuke's arc eventually being about “it's not where you're from or where you are it's who you're with”#yosuke also thinking that they were going to have a largely superficial friendship at first except it's upended later#but i also love that yu could establish that depth and his attachment/connection to yosuke as early as MAY#this is ONE MONTH after yu pulls yosuke out of the trashcan#day 2198427 of me yelling about how important yosuke is to yu even if yosuke doesn't see it IT'S SO OBVIOUS TO EVERYONE#he's good with his queue
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clarazz are so strong if i was (vaguely in love with and) slightly possessive of my best friend and the whole world was obsessed with him (like i was) id crash out 😭
#m!ik#ameri chima vine shiida mephisto? whos next henri?#not to mention eiko purson and lied 😭 (who really i mention specifically bc they apparently kin him which is soo funny. also they make up#boku trio together! though if we were making a list list im not sure id add em a tier above any other misfit…)#not all romantic obsession to be perfectly clear^^ but they all wanna stand by irumas side the same 😳#ameri and chima who want to stand by iruma romantically and academically/socially/powerwise…#vine and eiko too but theyre like. gag characters ik we’re a comedy series but everything surronding these two is a bit so im#putting them in the same adjecent group of side characters who are crushing#shiida who wants to be his family#mephisto who wants to be his righthand man/royal advisor/wants to make him king#(again misfits in general but lied and purson i single out bc. boku trio / young king duo / music duo u get it#id group bachiko opera balam and maybe even kalego with these other guys but… mmm#mmm bachiko certainly loves her student and opera/balam/kalego are all protective over iruma in their own ways id argue that when u compare#operas his family. bachiko is his master#kalego and balam are his teachers and his familiar/the first person he told his secret to#theyre all (seemingly) satisfied with their closeness with iruma/comfortable with their relationship as it is. theyre secure#the list above are all sorta Longing for something more#they want to be important to iruma#theyre not satisfied! they want more! and the story specifically centers around this idea for an arc or two or many#which btw i love i think iruma deserves having so many people who want to be close to him and who admire him#omg i forgot kirio HELLO…. hes…a little differently obsessed.#lets group him by himself but near the ameri/chima and eiko/vine section if u know what i mean#(note: its been a while since ive read chapters with shiida in em but from memory i do think she sees iruma as a little brother-#which is such a specific bond to long for; i think she wants to be someone he trusts first#followed by someone who can protect him followed by someone who he can learn from)#demons are selfish; i think its really sweet that theyre all pretty respectful of how iruma chooses to spend his time esp for being demons#cuz guess what! irumas selfish too. a true demon. he wants more and more and thats kinda what its all about#tldr everyone wants to stand next to iruma; clarazz (who stand next to him as his soulmates) have feelings about it lol#mairimashita! iruma kun#welcome to demon school iruma kun
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tbh didnt really like how bisma's arc about her relationship to her headscarf was handled. Her braider was completely out of line and not challenged on it. There was this constant idea that being black and being muslim were separate. That she was exploring other parts of herself when being muslim and black isnt an experience that you can take apart like that. It seems to indicate that theres one way to be black and it involves being visibly less muslim and i think if we were shown more of a black muslim community around bisma and better rep of black muslims in we are lady parts this idea would be very obviously shown to be wrong in the show.
to be clear i dont think bisma having an arc around showing her hair more is bad, or even tieing it with wanting to wear braids like the black women around her or for any other reason, but the way its set up 'tobi, i'm muslim' 'yeah but we're black too', just sets up this idea of two parts of an identity in conflict with each other which doesnt speak to the way black muslim communities have tied their religion and culture together in such beautiful ways and i wish that was being represented on this show.
#tbh a crtique i had in s1 was how the (very few) black muslims were all shown to have the same turban headscarf#i think it works for bisma but i think having other characters with different headscarf options is also important#especially with the scaling back of amina's headscarf the way hijab is presented in season 2 really didnt speak with me like it did in s1#it feels like everyones trying to compromise with it rather than celebrate it in this show about muslims which is sad tbh#also fuck tobi 'youre really gonna cover up my work like that' thats not your head mate#we are lady parts#i also think they didnt tie the headscarf to how people percieve bisma as older#motherly etc very well i think#headcarfs dont age anyone on their own
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graduation day 🌸
#persona 3#minato arisato#makoto yuki#lizzy does art#HELLO EVERYONE... i humbly offer a minato in these trying times... are you all prepared for the wave of march 5th art bc aha! im sure not#i looked at the promised day tag on twitter and GAAAH THE WORKS ARE ALL SOOO BEAUTIFUL#truly it touches my heart that soo many people are still drawing fan art for this important day even 16 years after the game has released#this is my second time celebrating it! and i couldn't be more grateful to have met minato and see his story....#genuinely though his growth throughout p3 is sooooo loooovely and it's rlly hard to put in words. but like. god. i love my wife#dont look @ me for calling him that. i have seen other ppl call him wife material in the tags. they're right btw#oh and uh if u want u can look at my art for last year its smwhere in my art tag.... i like to think i hav improved... LOL#anyway thats all i have to say... i will rb and cry and sing to kimi no kioku tmrw since its still the 4th where i live. take care everyon!
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I think the most baffling thing about the Tulpar as a vessel to me is the fact that the ship really did only have a one way communication system.
I know it was cheap but even the most basic of vessels regarding major transport would have some way, shape or form for outside communication. Not only that but there was absolutely no form of innate emergency signal to show they may have been offline or in trouble despite clearly having a system to dock credits if they went off course. It's another factor that really shows that bad situations are made to get worse by design. One person who is required to relay all information to the crew and make all the choices without feedback. No way to update or call for help in case of a dire situation. No way to inform of inner personal conflicts and acquire procedures accordingly.
It really is like they are all in some sort of fucked up solitary confinement. They have their own world with strict roles that are meaningless in the end, as long as the cargo makes it, it doesn't matter what happens on that ship to the company. They don't want to hear anything and will come to conclusions on what happened based on how much pay they can withhold from the workers. Even what they do send is short, sterile and corporate to the extent it was likely written and sent out with a command by some random unmanned computer in an office.
There's something to be said about how unfair it is to force absolute power and control onto one person when you as an entity could do so much more to offload it but I've said it many times before so I won't again.
#its just like idk i dont think Curly was a bad captain because we only have this scenerio and I certainly dont think a man like Swansea#would like him or have very little issues with him specifically if he was incompentent or too lienent in the past but I do think the stress#was making him worse and worse as being a present leader as it dawned on him how much he actually had to handle like I really think he#just wanted to do yknow normal captain pilot stuff and fly the ship and yknow the little stuff like make sure things run right and over tim#the constant stress and strain of having to make every major choice started to grate on him and freak him out cause they cant even fucking#eat unless he pulls out the scanner and starts cooking like he has to choose the meal likely or have a vote and i make that part of the#reason he seems so indecisive and inactive is the fact he has to make the choice all the time and he's hoping he can at least make the crew#feel a little more in control of themselves as people by staying out of affairs like the game or disputes because god he literally has to#choose for them all the time like thats a lot of responsibility monitering their sleep their breaks food consumption thats all on him like#it really should be another persons job entirely as thats almost like absoulte contrl over the lives of everyone else that PE forces onto#that title and its also crazy how everyone accepts it even if they dont like it like they broke the food machine open rather than get the#scanner they all waited two months before Jimmy appointed himself leader its so scary how conditioned they all are to the environemnt#cause that sort of mindset is sadly real where people just wait everyone just waited until it was getting real dire and then they still#followed Jimmy without too many complaints like i saw a fic or post where Anya acknowledges they all kinda just let Jimmy do what they want#because he became the captain and it was stupid on all their parts cause they could clearly see how bad he was and yet he was captain so#they just fell in line to their roles and thats a bigger point towards how PE treated them and the complacency capitalism brings to you#just like something that irks me because idk I know Curly is slow to act but he's not as like unopinionated as people make him out to be#like he does try to find solutions but they are still restricted at the end of the day by what PE provides them and I think his biggest c#crime is being in his own head too much and not giving Anya that emotional stability cause like idk man was he supposed to go to Home Depot#himself and install like padlocks? even if the let Anya sleep in medical after she pointed it out she was already pregnant at that point#like we arent seeing the inherent issue that no one not even Anya herself was thinking of the preventative measures because a)there was a#point nothing was happening that necessitated them b) it would've been the responsibility of PE to address them pre and post incident and c#there is only one person on the entire ship given the authority to do anything. You can not make multiple important choices in one instance#in such little time and Curly should not have had that total power like i think the most interesting thing in takes that really blame Curly#is that level of control they give him over the company. Like again i think about the three days we miss between the eval/party and the#convo/crash like i think people switch them around as if those scenes happen in succession when they are broken up and its heavily implied#Curly and Jimmy just havent been talking vs the depiction that she told him and for like three days Curly was just chummy despite the fact#Jimmy and him just had a blow out fight like the next time we assume they talk is during the crash sequence cause he honestly hangs#around Anya more which i think is really important because she trust Curly to defend her himself but not his judgement to give her somethin#to defend herself as she knows he believes her but also knows she's not seeing the danger the same and its heartbreaking and more
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something that is like the baseline of amys entire character to me is that shes lonely. shes clingy and physically affectionate in a way none of her friends really are, shes always getting pushed aside and left behind. yeah, she helps out people she doesnt know because shes a nice person, but also, she sees part of herself in them. she wont leave someone else behind because she knows the feeling —and more importantly, hates the feeling. if she doesnt have somebody to stand by her and be there for her, then shes going to be that person for everybody else. something something her obsession with sonic is really just like a manifestation of that desire for closeness with someone, and she thinks that romance is the only way to get that. idk... this hedgehog can have so many abandonment issues.
#me posts#amy rose#sth#sonic the hedgehog#and this is not to say at all that romance is the only way to have 'real' love or anything#just that yknow part of her breaking free of that would also be realizing that she just wants closeness with someone and it doesnt-#-have to be romantic#aroace amy could fit this i suppose and she just doesnt know it yknow. thats not my hc but i support their beliefs if that makes sense#she wants to be loved and she wants to love and she doesnt really get a big outlet for that so she shares it with everyone she sees#also i didnt wanna jam up the post but GAMMA!! this is partially abt gamma she helps him find out how to love and how to find joy in it-#-bc its what she wants for herself. she sees him and sees how completely alone he is and she wants to help him. idk idk something something#-when she was locked in the cell she saw part of herself staring back at her#gamma parallels to amy is SLEPT ON i stg i could make a whole other post about it#idk.. whenever im writing amy or just thinking abt how shed interact with others its always from the lens that she craves closeness with-#-others. she wants people to just stay for once.#does this make any sense. idk man im rambling here#my worst nightmare is characterizing her wrong its such a fine line and sometimes the words do not come out of my brain right#btw this is NOT me dissing amy i love amy. she is like top three favorite character.#important context: im typing this with amy firefox theme rn ok. ok im an amy fan.#she points at the minimize button like shes telling me to log off#jesus christ i just scrolled back up i love to put a whole other post in the notes dont i
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