#i think people who want moriarty to be terrible again (yeah) or think he’s too defanged tend to point to that as the problem | Explore Tumblr posts and blogs

lilypixels · 3 years ago

Note

...............all of them.....?

It took me an hr to do this....🥲💀

1. coffee mugs, teacups, wine glasses, water bottles, or soda cans?

Teacupsss

2. chocolate bars or lollipops?

Lollipops

3. bubblegum or cotton candy?

Uhhh cotton candy

4. how did your elementary school teachers describe you?

Probably quiet and smart lol I did my school work and was friendly with everyone so I was a favorite and heard all the nice things 🙈

5. do you prefer to drink soda from soda cans, soda bottles, plastic cups or glass cups?

I kinda like bottles more but like the glass ones with the caps that could slice your fingers-

6. pastel, boho, tomboy, preppy, goth, grunge, formal or sportswear?

I’m for all but sports lol

7. earbuds or headphones?

Earbuds

8. movies or tv shows?

Shows cause I’m the type to watch an hr long episode vs hr long movie idk why but I’m rarely in mood for them

12. name of your favorite playlist?

Drop the beat (ie songs that are upbeat and I like most)

13. lanyard or key ring?

Hmm...I guess lanyard?

14. favorite non-chocolate candy?

Skittles or twizzlers

15. favorite book you read as a school assignment?

I had lots I had to read in school but only ever finished a handful lol my favorite I think was maybe Macbeth? I would say Odyssey but I don’t think we read the full thing cause I remember being disappointed about something like that...

16. most comfortable position to sit in?

Sitting with my legs bent up in seat with me in some way

17. most frequently worn pair of shoes?

Converse and some nice but cheap sneakers from Walmart

18. ideal weather?

Not too hot, not too cold, mild like before/after a rain (most the time), idc if it’s raining or sunny but as long as temp is comfortable I’m fine

19. sleeping position?

On my side most often

20. preferred place to write (i.e., in a note book, on your laptop, sketchpad, post-it notes, etc.)?

Phone and notebook

21. obsession from childhood?

Oh gosh uhhh I guess my like of dolls maybe? Or obsession with anything ✨unexplained✨ like ghosts, aliens, cryptids, etc

22. role model?

Kim Namjoon lol just kidding (sorta)

23. strange habits?

Ok I know I have some and my friends would be more than happy to point them all out but hm let me think...idk if these count as habits but I’ll never place a mirror facing a bed (this is more superstitious I guess than habit,,,) I can’t stand my food touching, if I have a tray like in cafeteria I have a certain spot for everything and uh my mind just went blank-

24. favorite crystal?

Moonstone, lapis lazuli, and I feel obligated to say garnet cause it’s my birthstone

25. first song you remember hearing?

Circle of Life maybe who knows xD

26. favorite activity to do in warm weather?

Walk or clean,,I’m more active and about with warm/nice weather

27. favorite activity to do in cold weather?

...stay inside where it’s warm

28. five songs to describe you?

Not this again😭 uhhh idk you tell me ajdbd

29. best way to bond with you?

Indulge me when I go off about things I like or learn 😔✊ I know I’ll talk your ear off and I’m sorry but know I don’t often talk about these things with people so once I start it’s hard to stop,,and it makes me really happy when people do listen to me about these things and send me related items every so often or even look into it themselves to learn more 🥺

30. places that you find sacred?

For some reason this feels like a trick question...um cemeteries and anything with ages of history I guess

31. what outfit do you wear to kick ass and take names?

Oof do I really have a true outfit?? I have shoes for this which are just black platform sneakers I call stomping shoes

32. top five favorite vines?

I never,,,watched these,,,

33. most used phrase in your phone?

“Yes”...?

34. advertisements you have stuck in your head?

State Farm and McDonald’s, always

35. average time you fall asleep?

10-11...usually...

36. what is the first meme you remember ever seeing?

Uhhh that one with the ginger dude (I think it was someone’s yearbook photo??) I don’t remember much else about the meme but it was on ifunny, or whatever the app was, a lot

37. suitcase or duffel bag?

Suitcase

38. lemonade or tea?

Easy, tea

39. lemon cake or lemon meringue pie?

...neither

40. weirdest thing to ever happen at your school?

Dude these questions really testing my brain power here- for senior prank someone put cereal in some bathroom sinks I think

41. last person you texted?

My mom

42. jacket pockets or pants pockets?

I’m gonna say jacket since I wear those often

43. hoodie, leather jacket, cardigan, jean jacket or bomber jacket?

Hoodie or cardigan

45. which genre: sci-fi, fantasy or superhero?

Fantasy

46. most comfortable outfit to sleep in?

Usually whatever shirt I’m wearing that day and some pj/lounge pants 🤷

47. favorite type of cheese?

Mozzarella

48. if you were a fruit, what kind would you be?

I-what kind of question is this? How does one even answer this?

49. what saying or quote do you live by?

What comes around goes around lol (yes I’m a heavy believer of karma)

50. what made you laugh the hardest you ever have?

Lol who knows, probably something dumb me and my siblings were doing or something we watched cause there’s been plenty times of that xD

51. current stresses?

Homework vs free time e-e

52. favorite font?

I like the gothic looking ones but it’s usually not practical to use so idk

53. what is the current state of your hands?

My hands...? They’re fine ??

54. what did you learn from your first job?

How to care for babies and little kids, how to put on a diaper lol

56. favorite tradition?

I can’t remember a particular one off hand but I’m trying to start few new ones like decorating cookies for Halloween uwu

57. the three biggest struggles you’ve overcome?

Uhhhhh like personally or...? Cause we’ve overcome homelessness before, um finishing assignments idk😭 oh maybe bullying?? That’s all I can think of since I still struggle with a lot,,

58. four talents you’re proud of having?

Alright let’s do thisss: creativity (mostly in writing sense), I can bake/cook, I have amazing organization skills and many work places have used that lol (bonus is I don’t mind, I actually really enjoy it, very peaceful), surprisingly good balance all things considered, I’m a quick learner

59. if you were a video game character, what would your catchphrase be?

“I’m too tired for this.”

60. if you were a character in an anime, what kind of anime would you want it to be?

Good question good question🤔 I don’t think I’d last in any of them/have a terrible side character role so 💀

61. favorite line you heard from a book/movie/tv show/etc.?

“Life’s too short to hold grudges.”

62. seven characters you relate to?

Dude this is gonna get embarrassing I can feel it🤠

Itaru, Iori, Sogo, Belle, Simeon (obey me), Nozaki (he’s clueless about romance irl and doesn’t know when someone has a crush on him yet can write romance well enough and yeah it’s me lol), and uhh Swindler/Ordinary Person in Akudama Drive (still can’t believe no one really has names in that anime but the way she gets wrapped in everything felt like something that’d happen to me lol)

63. five songs that would play in your club?

Like nightclub...? I’m skipping this ajdbd

64. favorite website from your childhood?

Probably the Barbie site, me and my sister played all the dress up games almost daily istg

65. any permanent scars?

Appendectomy scars and then looks like I have one on a toe but it’s possible it still might heal...

66. favorite flower(s)?

Nightshade, foxglove, baby’s breath, bellflowers, roses

67. good luck charms?

I don’t think I have any...

68. worst flavor of any food or drink you’ve ever tried?

Lemon

69. a fun fact that you don’t know how you learned?

Let me think...I read something once about flowers having ears(?) but like not ear ears just something about having a part that picks up sound waves

70. left or right handed?

Right

71. least favorite pattern?

Lolll animal print I think

72. worst subject?

Physics...the worst science

74. at what pain level out of ten (1 through 10) do you have to be at before you take an advil or ibuprofen?

6...?

75. when did you lose your first tooth?

I don’t remember, it probably happened when i was 6. I do remember losing one of my front teeth during my birthday one year and I was happy since the tooth had been loose for some time xD

76. what’s your favorite potato food (i.e. tater tots, baked potatoes, fries, chips, etc.)?

Chips I guess or just like fried in skillet

77. best plant to grow on a windowsill?

A succulent probably

78. coffee from a gas station or sushi from a grocery store?

Neither ew

79. which looks better, your school id photo or your driver’s license photo?

They are both about equally terrible

80. earth tones or jewel tones?

Earth

81. fireflies or lightning bugs?

Fireflies

82. pc or console?

I am on pc side now

83. writing or drawing?

Writing

84. podcasts or talk radio?

Podcasts I guess

84. barbie or polly pocket?

Barbie

85. fairy tales or mythology?

Mythology, it’s too fun and chaotic lol

86. cookies or cupcakes?

Hm...cupcakes

87. your greatest fear?

Uh,,,I don’t have many fears but I guess one would be falling from a great height? So I would get scared of crossing a bridge and it collapsing or riding a plane and it falling easily

88. your greatest wish?

World peace🥲

89. who would you put before everyone else?

My mom maybe...?

90. luckiest mistake?

I honestly don’t remember but something I do remember is I out semicolon instead of period and turned out to be correct grammar lol

91. boxes or bags?

Boxes

92. lamps, overhead lights, sunlight or fairy lights?

Sunlight or fairy lights, I don’t require much either way and prefer more natural lighting

93. nicknames?

Lassie, twinkle toes, Ash, poody butt (by 3 yr old I sometimes watch and play with lol he means it affectionately; I call him monkey butt and it’s catching on slowly instead)

94. favorite season?

Starting to be fall just a little more but I like transition times most

95. favorite app on your phone?

Let’s go with twitter

96. desktop background?

It is a moriarty and gang pic

97. how many phone numbers do you have memorized?

2: mine and my moms

98. favorite historical era?

Ooo tough one but I’ll say renaissance as some of the coolest things came from that time

#if there’s something messed up in this string of text #ignore it cause I’m not proofreading again ajdbd #I did not realize there were so many questions pls #asks #jade why 😔💜

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chiaki-translation · 4 years ago

Text

4th Anniversary The Key To Daydreaming: Autumn’s Door - Event Translation

I’m back~ Nids will be translating the Summer part of this event story, so I will be going straight to the ending/epilogue after this~ Anyway, bias time, but, Taichi is so precious. Another random thing though, my mind was kinda in error for a while, I kept trying to translate ‘musume’ as little girl, then I realized, ‘young lady’ actually works well enough XD

The recorded video for Autumn will be here: AUTUMN’S DOOR

4th Anniversary The Key to Daydreaming: Secret Key / / Spring’s Door / / Autumn’s Door / / Winter’s Door / / Opening the Future Door with You

Disclaimer:

A3! is owned by Liber’s Entertainment

Director:

Umm…

What key is this I wonder.

*ping*

Oh? A LIME message.

Banri:

Director-chan, have you bought the magazine that I asked before?

Director:

(Ah. Right, he asked me to help him buy a magazine when I was out shopping before…

I have to unload a lot of stuffs that time, I postponed unloading the non-food items to the last and I completely forgot about it…!)

Director:

Sorry! I bought it, but it’s still in the car.

Banri:

I see. Sorry, but I need it as a reference for my university assignment, do you mind getting it fast?

I’m outside right now, but I’ll give you a call when I’m back in dorm.

Director:

Understood. I will take it from the car.

Director:

I should go to the garage as early as possible.

…Hmm?

(There’s a paper pasted in front of Room 104)

‘Unlocked’…

???:

“Of course, that’s no good!”

Director:

(Eh? Just now, Banri-kun’s voice?

But, Banri-kun went out earlier…

What’s the meaning of this. It sounds like an argument too, I’m quite worried…

…Let’s take a look for a bit)

Shinbashi?:

“If you say that, even if it’s just a prank just now, you might get caught by the police one day!”

Moran?:

“There’s something called necessary evil in this world.

Even if it looks like a criminal act to you, there are people who will be saved by it.”

Shinbashi?:

“But a bad deed is still evil.

Even you learn about differentiating good and bad in moral lesson right.”

Director:

(Those are… Shinbashi and Moran!?

It seems like there’s an argument between the hot-blooded new teacher, Shinbashi, and Moriarty’s underling, Moran.

Hmm, regardless, this situation is…

An etude practice maybe?)

Shinbashi:

“… Ah, certainly, there are cases of educators who uses disciplinary actions for students who misbehave and it works sometimes.”

Moran:

“So you finally understand.”

Shinbashi:

“Speaking of which, I became an educator due to that kind of teacher, even that student ended up being called teacher now.”

Moran:

“Teacher…? So, you’re a teacher.”

Shinbashi:

“Yeah. I’m still a fledgling though.”

Moran:

“I see, you too…”

Shinbashi:

“You too? You mean, you’re actually a teacher as well?”

Moran:

“No… It’s not me, but instead, I’m following a teacher.”

Shinbashi:

“I see. Even you have someone that you trust.

For you to be able to meet such a reliable teacher like that, it’s once in a lifetime treasure!

About that person, make sure you cherish him.”

Moran:

“…”

Director:

(Moran doesn’t reply, but I’m sure he actually agreed with him.

It fits well somehow?)

Moran:

“…By the way.

You’ve been eavesdropping since earlier, who are you.”

Director:

!? Wha, yes!

Shinbashi:

“Oi!

Even if it’s just a toy, it’s not good to suddenly point a gun at people…”

Moran:

“You, what do you want.”

Director:

Sorry, I didn’t mean to eavesdrop, but I heard voices that sounds like people arguing just now—

I thought some of our troupe members were quarreling, but apparently…

Moran:

“Our troupe member… Are you a person who guides others as well.”

Shinbashi:

“Ah, perhaps it’s our fault?

I’m sorry to surprise you.”

Director:

It’s fine. Even so, Banri-kun and Juza-kun too, you two fits amazingly well into the role.

Moran:

“…?”

Shinbashi:

“Banri-kun, Juza-kun…?”

Director:

(Ah, I guess the etude is still going on.

Maybe it’s a better idea to match them for now)

Eh, umm, by the way, what were the two of you doing?

Moran:

“By a request, I was investigating around this area.”

Shinbashi:

“As for me, I was asked to check for a student who didn’t come to school, that’s why I ended up here.

And then, I met this guy by chance, when I was about to ask if he knows that student—

I realized he was behaving quite suspiciously.

Afterwards, I just dashed carefully towards him.

But, after hearing his story, he doesn’t seem to be a bad guy.”

Director:

(Ah, as expected of Shinbashi… So straightforward)

Shinbashi:

“Oh, this is not the time for small talk.

I need to find that student quickly.”

Moran:

“I can’t keep dawdling in this kind of place as well.”

Director:

Ah, wait a minute…

Shinbashi:

“Then, see you!”

Moran:

“…”

Director:

(They went off.

Ah, speaking of which, I should have asked the two of them if they know anything about this key…)

Director:

(Even so, I wonder what was that just now.

Where did those two go after that?

Hmm? Someone’s running this way…?)

Mikami?:

“Huff, huff…

Wh, what should I do…!”

Director:

(Now it’s Taichi-kun?

As I thought, he’s wearing the costume from the Mixed Play performance…

He looks like he’s in a hurry, I wonder what happened. Let’s try to ask him)

Mikami?:

“It’s not here either…”

Director:

Are you alright? Are you looking for something?

Mikami?:

“Woah!?”

Director:

Oh, umm, sorry. I didn’t mean to scare you.

Mikami:

“Eh, umm, it’s…”

Director:

(Hmm, this feeling… It this perhaps, the continuation of the etude with Banri-kun earlier)

Mikami:

“Ex, excuse me!

Do you happen to find a lost earring around here?”

Director:

An earring…?

(I see. Mikami doesn’t have an earring on one of his ear)

Mikami:

“You don’t know, of course…

Sorry for raising my voice suddenly.”

Igarashi:

“…Hmm?”

Director:

(! It’s Igarashi this time…!)

Mikami:

“Ex, excuse me!

Do you happen to find a lost earring around here?”

Igarashi:

“An earring, perhaps it’s this one?”

Mikami:

“--! It’s this one!”

Igarashi:

“I found it on the roadside earlier, so I picked it up.

I was thinking of delivering it to a police box but—

What, is it an important thing of yours?”

Mikami:

“Yeah. It’s from Kikukawa… Eh, umm, it’s from my partner who made this outfit, it’s an important item of mine.

I’m glad I found it…

Thank you, thank you so much…!”

Igarashi:

“You don’t need to thank me so much, I’m getting embarrassed here somehow.”

Director:

I’m glad you found it safely.

Igarashi:

“Yeah.

Don’t lose it again, take good care of it.”

Mikami:

“Yeah!

Ah, it’s time for the shooting…!

The two of you, thank you so much!”

Igarashi:

“There he goes. Haha, he come and goes like a storm.

Speaking of which, who are you?”

Director:

Umm, just someone who happened to pass by…

(Right, speaking of lost items!)

Excuse me, speaking of lost item, I also picked up this key earlier.

Do you know anything about it?

Igarashi:

“Hmm~ I have no idea about it.

Somehow, I ended up dealing with a lot of lost items today.”

Director:

Ahaha, true that.

Sorry, thank you though.

Igarashi:

“Then, can I ask you a question now?”

Kouhei… Ah, of course you won’t know him. Have you seen a high school student with black hair, one wearing a green-colored uniform like mine?”

Director:

No, I haven’t seen him…

Igarashi:

“I see… Then, if you happen to see him, can you tell him that Igarashi will be waiting at the meeting place first.”

Director:

Eh? Ah, alright, understood.

Igarashi:

“Thank you for your help.”

Director:

(The Kouhei that he meant, I’m sure he’s speaking about Azami.

I wonder if he meant to ask me to go to Room 106 in a roundabout way.

I’m already this far in, I guess I’ll go)

… As I thought.

In Room 106 there’s also a paper written ‘Unlocked’ on it.

(The door’s slightly open as well, let’s take a look at the situation)

Kouhei?:

“…”

Seimei?:

“…”

Director:

(As I thought, it’s Kouhei and Seimei.

But, there seems to be a terrible mood here somehow…)

Seimei:

“I heard the news about the apparition, a lone child…

What are you doing here.”

Kouhei:

“It’s already the end of school hour, there’s nothing weird with a student walking around.

Well…

I kinda skipped class today though.”

Seimei:

“…You mean, you abandoned what you are supposed to do and wander around instead.”

Kouhei:

“…There’s something that I don’t like there, that’s why I slipped out.

You don’t know anything about me, don’t just say anything you like.”

Seime:

“What?”

Kouhei:

“Speaking of which, do you even have time to waste on me.

You seem to be busy grumbling about the so called apparition, are you sure you’re alright?”

Seimei:

“… I see.

According to Kou, our way of… Hmm?”

Director:

Seimei:

“So you’re there!”

Director:

Please wait a minute! Yo, you got it wrong!

(I jumped out in a hurry, but I feel that this already happened before, what a dejavu…)

About that, I just happened to pass by here.

Seime:

“You’re also here by chance huh… It’s so confusing.”

Kouhei:

“We were just walking though, the one poking into our business is you isn’t it.”

Seimei:

“…”

Director:

(They’re back to this terrible mood…!

I have to change the topic somehow)

Ri, right. Kouhei-kun.

Kouhei:

“?”

Director:

Just now, Igarashi asked me to tell you that he will be heading to the meeting place first.

Kouhei:

“Seriously, this is bad… I have to head there immediately.

Thank you for the message. Then, I’ll be going first.”

Seimei:

“Wait.”

Kouhei:

“What is it? You still have something to say?”

Seimei:

“You, do you happen to know of a place called ‘Garage’?”

Kouhei:

“I don’t know. Why don’t you just ask that thing you call Shikigami?”

Director:

(Garage… Right, at the beginning I was supposed to go to the garage to pick up the magazine)

Seimei:

“…Your face told me that you know something about it.

Young lady, can I ask for your guidance to bring me to this place called ‘Garage’.”

Director:

M, me?

I was about to go there, I guess. I don’t really mind…

Seimei:

“I appreciate it. Then, let’s go.”

Igarashi:

“Oh, Kouhei?

You’re from just now! ... And, who?”

Seimei:

“…? The apparition’s presence seems to be leading me here.”

Igarashi:

“An apparition? Also that look… Are you a medium or something?”

Kouhei:

“Sorry for being late, Kouhei-san—

…Ah. You’re here again."

Seimei:

“The kid from just now huh.”

Shinbashi:

“I found you!

You’re the student who skipped school right.”

Kouhei:

“No, I only skipped 5 times.”

Igarashi:

“Kouhei, did you skip school again?”

Kouhei:

“…There’s just something that I hate today. I’ll properly come to school tomorrow onwards.”

Igarashi:

“I see… You should tell me if you get bullied again.”

Shinbashi:

“Bullied…? Do you get bullied in school!?”

Kouhei:

“It’s an old story, I don’t really get bullied nowadays.

Anyway, it doesn’t matter to you right.”

Shinbashi:

“Of course, it matters. As a lecturer, I want to be the student’s strength!”

Kouhei:

“Sigh…”

Seimei:

“…”

Director:

! Why do you suddenly assume that stance, what’s happening?

Seimei:

“The conflict might appear due to the evil spirit…”

Moran:

“What a dumb assumption… Of course, that’s not the case.

I marked you because you’re one of my target, but after hearing you, you’re less than a scammer, you’re basically just spitting out delusions.”

Seimei:

“What…?”

Director:

Wa, wait, everyone please calm down…!

(Somehow the atmosphere turns horrible on every side… What to do)

Mikami:

“I made it just in time…!”

Director:

Mikami:

“Pleased to work with you today!”

Together:

“…”

Mikami:

“…Eh, eh? Isn’t today’s shooting supposed to be here…”

Igarashi:

“Ah, you’re the one from earlier…”

Mikami:

“Yeah! Thank you for earlier.

So you’re also involved in today’s shooting.”

Igarashi:

“Shooting?”

Mikami:

“Yeah. Everyone too, you’re all wearing the costumes for the shooting… Right?”

Together:

“…”

Kouhei:

“…Pu.”

Igarashi:

“Hahahaha!”

Moran:

“Sigh…”

Mikami:

“Eh? Eh?”

Shinbashi:

“Haha, everyone has their own business, it just happened that we ended up gathering here.”

Igarashi:

“A mysterious coincidence huh.”

Kouhei:

“Geez, what the hell. Anyway, you too, you have something to do here?”

Director:

! Ye, yeah. I come by to pick up a thing that I forgot.

Moran:

“So, you too.

Really, this story sounds like a miracle. It’s hard to believe.”

Director:

(Before we realized, the arguments and quarrels from earlier have disappeared.

Fufu. But the view just now, really looks like the usual Autumn Troupe…)

Igarashi:

“Speaking of which, have you found out more about the key from earlier?”

Director:

…! Right.

Truthfully, I haven’t gotten any clue.

(Now is the chance to ask everyone at one go)

I picked up this key earlier, does anyone here know anything about it?

Kouhei:

“No, it’s not mine.”

Moran:

“I don’t know.”

Seimei:

“Not that I can recall.

It’s a very unusual looking key.”

Mikami:

“Umm, it’s not mine either.

Sorry, I can’t be of any help.”

Shinbashi:

“Umm, it’s not mine too.”

Director:

I see… Understood.

Everyone, thank you so much.

Igarashi:

“A lost key, huh. I’m curious somehow.

I wonder what’s supposed to be opened using that key?”

Moran:

“The reasonable answer should be a door isn’t it?”

Seimei:

“It might be a storage as well.”

Mikami:

“A treasure chest maybe…?”

Kouhei:

“There’s a possibility for it to be a vehicle key too.”

Shinbashi:

“Well, whatever it opens—

What awaits it in the future has to be decided by the person who opens it.”

Seimei:

“…Ah. Ultimately, a key marks the beginning after all.”

Director:

Igarashi:

“Then, we’ll be going for soccer practice now, I guess this is goodbye.”

Shinbashi:

“Yeah, good luck.

You too, you’re going to school tomorrow right.”

Kouhei:

“Understood.”

Shinbashi:

“Then, I’ll be going back too. I still have some papers to mark.”

Moran:

“…I’ve completed the request. I shall go back to Sensei’s place.”

Seimei:

“The presence of the apparition has disappeared as well…

I guess I should promptly return.

Young lady, thank you for your guidance.”

Director:

You’re welcome.

Mikami:

“… Excuse me.”

Director:

Hmm?

Mikami:

“That key’s owner, please look for him.

Perhaps, just like me, there might be someone out there who is in trouble after losing it.”

Director:

… Yeah, understood.

Director:

(In the end, I still don’t know anything about that etude…)

Ultimately, a key marks a beginning.

It’s up to you to decide what to do ahead of it…

(Anyway, the stance to open up the path using your own power, that sounds like Autumn Troupe alright.

The thing that this key will open in the future, I wonder what it will be)

Alright, I’ll continue to look for the owner of this key…

…Ah.

Oops, I forgot about the magazine.

(But when I thought about the etude earlier, I’m sure he contacted me because he knows, it’s Banri-kun’s after all)

… I’ll go and get it later, let’s leave a LIME message for Banri-kun for now…

#a3! game #a3! act! addict! actors!#a3! event #a3! 4th anniversary #a3! translation #autumn troupe

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wonderfulworldofmichaelford · 4 years ago

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Is It Really THAT Bad?

Cats has been a divisive show ever since it opened in 1981. Some people hate it for being a plotless spectacle that focuses more on the visuals than on music and story, while others love it for those same reasons, as well as for being utterly campy and fun. I’m firmly in the latter category, to the point I can’t really comprehend the opposition to the film. Stuff like the jab at this film in The Critic or the mockery of it in Hey Arnold just seem weird to me; what is it about this fun, silly musical about cats that makes people’s blood boil so much?

Perhaps all these people saw into the future where the film was released.

Cats had a long, troubled history getting from stage to screen. In the 90s, Amblimation was set to make an animated version of the movie, set during the Blitz of WWII. Unfortunately, the inability of writers to find a way to turn this episodic showcase of random singing cats into a cohesive narrative combined with the failure of Amblimations films caused the project to dissolve, leaving behind nothing but some really cool concept art.

But see, this perfectly demonstrates the problem with adapting Cats: the musical is a spectacle, a showcase, it’s all about the dancing, costumes, and the songs. It doesn’t have a story to speak of, instead contenting itself with showing us a bunch of different cats and having them sing about themselves for a bit before moving on to the next cat. Sure, there’s a bit of continuity and whatnot, but this really isn’t the sort of show that’s trying to deliver a deep narrative. It just wants you to have a good time, nothing more, nothing less.

No one told any of this to Tom Hooper, apparently. This director of the grounded, gritty, realistic adaptation of Les Mis was tapped to utilize this same style in a musical about magical singing cats, all while not even knowing what catnip is or how animation works. Hooper was apparently constantly butting heads with the VFX team due to his lack of understanding of how animating works. He tried to get the team to watch videos of cats performaing the stuff he wanted and forced them to give 90 hour work weeks, cementing Tom Hooprt as one of the biggest douchebags imaginable. On top of all this, the guy tried to weave this plotless showcase of felines into a cohesive narrative, and tapped a bunch of talent of various degrees of questionability to play parts. And what was the result?

An absolute disaster. The film was savaged by critics, with most positives being that the film was so bad it’s good. The film (of course) won a bunch of Razzies, and was the subject of mockery and memes before, after, and during its run in theaters. Hell, as soon as the trailer dropped, the film was mocked to death. Not helping was the rushed VFX which, again, was due to the team being under pressure from a draconian idiot who had no idea what he was doing. The film received an unprecedented bug fix, so to speak, in the form of an updated version with slightly better VFX that was shipped to theaters after the initial negative reaction. This obviously did nothing to help the movie’s reputation, of course. Hell, even in my initial review, I wasn’t super keen on the film. Most damning of all, though, was Andrew Lloyd Webber himself calling the film ridiculous, and even said "The problem with the film was that Tom Hooper decided that he didn’t want anybody involved in it who was involved in the original show."

But after ruminating on it, and after watching the film once more, I’ve decided to ask the usual question: Is it really that bad? It’s weird to ask this about a film that’s so new; I usually wait for hindsight to kick in, and look at older films considered bad. But even now, Cats is building up a reputation as a campy cult classic, with such figures as Martin “LittleKuriboh” Billamy watching the film with alarming frequency. And after reading the nightmarish behind the scenes and considering everything… yeah, I think this film deserves a re-evaluation.

This is going to be a little different, though: I’m sort of going to go through the film part by part, since this film has an interesting issue where, generally speaking, the first half is where the worst problems are, and the second half is where things start to pick up. So let’s get the bad out of the way first, then move onto the good.

THE BAD

So, I’m actually not going to pick on the VFX too much, and not just because of the horrible treatment of the VFX artists. In all honesty, the weird human/cat people, while not even remotely as cool as the insane costumes of the stage show, eventually stop being super distracting and kind of just become something you accept. Like, I’m not gonna pretend like this work is amazing, but I dunno, I think it gets harped on too much. There is some stuff that stands out as noticeably bad, though, and we’ll get to that.

A consistent problem with the film that I can’t even try to defend is the problem with the scaling. It’s seriously hard to tell how big these cats are supposed to be in relation to anything else. They honestly seem to change size from scene to scene. It’s seriously weird and baffling and there’s never any way to get a good sense of scale. Even when the cats are alongside mice and roaches, it just boggles the mind what size anything is actually supposed to be.

Mr. Mistoffelees, one of the most flamboyant and enjoyable characters of the stage show, is one of the biggest character issues with the film. Gone is the tricky, confident magician who prances and dances, and here is a meek, sniveling twerp who can barely do anything without tripping over himself. This is because the actor who plays him had a terrible audition that left him miserable due to a lack of singing and dance background. So, rather than find someone who could, you know, sing and dance, they decided to rewrite Mr. Mistoffelees into comic relief, which is just an insulting slap in the face. The cherry on top of course is how they straightwash the character and excise his homoerotic tension with Rum Tum Tugger, instead making him completely and totally straight and giving him a thing for Victoria. Out of everyone in the entire film, they did Mr. Mistoffelees the dirtiest.

Now, let’s get onto the actual “plot.” The film actually starts out fairly well, with some cool shots, good dancing, and some setup for Macavity, whose intro has a neat little nod to the fact he’s based on Moriarty. The issues don’t really start showing up until we reach the first of the Jellicle choices… Jennyanydots.

Jennyanydots is portrayed by Rebel Wilson, which is the first issue. Rebel Wilson is probably one of the worst actresses ever. She is just a horrendously, relentlessly unfunny human being, and she brings that exact quality to her role here. For her song, the vocal talent is secondary to the cringeworthy comedy Wilson puts on display. And yet, somehow, Wilson isn’t the worst part of the scene. No, that would be the horrendous CGI human-faced mice and roaches, which look like they came out of a PS3 game.

This horrendous spectacle is followed up with the appearance of Rum Tum Tugger, portrayed by Jason Derulo. I’m of two minds about this. On the one hand, I do think Derulo has the necessary egotistical celebrity swagger to play Rum Tum Tugger (especially when you consider he responded to negative criticisms of the film by calling the movie ��one of the greatest pieces of art ever made”) and his design is actually one of the better ones in the film, but on the other hand, his singing and the musical choice for his song are not very impressive and really just doesn’t work all too well. It’s at least something of a step up from Rebel Wilson and her CGI abominations, but that’s not really saying much, is it?

Next up we have Bustopher Jones, played by James Corden and, if I’m being totally honest… he’s not quite as awful as he could be. Corden is basically the male equivalent to Rebel Wilson, but at least while he’s singing he manages to be somewhat amusing, whimsical, and enjoyable even. The problem comes when he throws in jokes, including one where he claims to be self-conscious about his weight… a joke that occurs in the middle of his song where he is bragging about how fat he is. Talk about sending mixed messages. I wish I didn’t have to be so harsh on Bustopher, but sadly he is bogged down by really bad shtick.

Bustopher Jones also highlights a problem with the cats in this first half. These minor roles – Jennyanydots, Rum Tum Tugger, and Bustopher Jones – are all being played by relatively big celebrities, and as such they’re going to want a lot of time to sing. As a result, songs that were ensemble numbers on stage become more one-man songs here, with Bustopher Jones being the most egregious example, turning this positive fat character into a walking James Corden fat joke as he sings his own praises rather than having his praises sung.

Following him up we have Mungojerrie and Rumpleteazer, who are usually fun characters with a fun little pseudo-villain song, but alas, they manage to screw that up by using a slow, jazzy version of the song originally used in earlier London productions rather than the more up-tempo version from later productions, making the song sound awkward and forgettable. Topping it all off is the bargain bin Mr. M popping in at the end for some wacky shenanigans, but at this point, the movie takes a turn towards…

THE GOOD

So as soon as Dame Judi Dench shows up as Old Deuteronomy, the film gets a sort of inverse of what happened at the start. Where the film starts somewhat awkward and promising, it slowly gets stupider and stupider when Rebel Wilson, Jason Derulo, and James Corden botch their scenes in the ways described above. Here, things start a bit shaky and unsure, but Dench is a sign things are about to pick up. What makes her so enjoyable is how, despite how utterly silly things are, she treats her role with the dignity and gravitas of something out of Shakespeare. The only thing as good as an actor in a silly movie like this going full-on ham and cheese is an actor treating their role dead serious and injecting it with such class and dignity you can’t help but enjoy it. Thankfully, Dench isn’t the only person to take her role seriously.

Jennifer Hudson as Grizabella technically appears briefly in the earlier portions of the film, but here we get to hear her belt out “Memory,” and by god does she do a fantastic job. The raw emotion and passion she injects into Grizabella is phenomenal, and it’s even more powerful when it comes back for its reprise in the finale. Victoria gets a sort of response song to “Memory,” called “Beautiful Ghosts,” and it’s a decent song in its own right, but you can tell it was a more modern composition and it just doesn’t gel super well with the rest of the songs. Still, all this is good stuff, and the “Memory”/”Beautiful Ghosts” scene is a nice, refreshing bit of emotion after the incredibly weird and silly extended dance number that is the Jellicle Ball.

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The movie doesn’t stop pulling punches; shortly after Grizabella we are given Gus the theater cat, an elderly actor whose number is all about reminiscing of the old days of theater and his many stellar roles from days gone by. Naturally, the only actor who could possibly perform this role properly is Sir Ian McKellan. I am completely unironic when I say this: This is to McKellan what Patrick Stewart’s performance of Xavier in Logan is. This sounds ridiculous, but think of it: Gus is an aging thespian, clearly a bit senile and desiring to be reborn because he has reached the end of the line, and McKellan fills him with this genuine, incredibly honest performance that really makes you feel emotional. It’s powerful. It feels so personal and resonant, like McKellan has inserted some of his own feelings into his performance, which may very well be the case. Oh, and after his song Macavity kidnaps him with a big autograph book and apparates away while saying his name, which gets me every time.

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And now, my friends, the lord and savior arrives: Skimbleshanks.

This is, hands down, the best scene in the entire film. Everything comes together here: the music is absolutely fantastic, the dancing is choreographed extremely well, and it’s clear that everyone involved is having a blast. This is a concentrated essence of what Cats should be, and it’s really a shame Hooper didn’t understand that this is the energy needed for the entire production. The most crucial element, of course, is Steven McRae, who not only has a lovely singing voice and looks dapper as all hell in his red suspenders, but is a tap dancing maniac. This man has feet of fire, and his tapping adds a whole new layer of fun to the song. Overall, this is a perfect scene, and probably one of my favorite scenes in any film ever. For a brief four minutes, everything about this film works. I literally have no idea why this cat wants to be reincarnated, he is straight balling in this life.

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But the hits don’t stop! Right after this song, Taylor Swift descends from the ceiling, and we get “Macavity.” In the stage productions, this is a song sung by Bombalurina to describe how nasty Macavity is, since she’s traditionally a good cat; here, she’s reimagined as a villain, and so this song is basically her acting as Macavity’s hype man, singing his dastardly praises, and best of all, Macavity joins in at the end! I’m certainly not a Taylor Swift fan, but she really kills it here, and definitely makes this one of the best songs in the movie with her hilariously forced accent and insane energy. It’s just a shame that from here on out Macavity ditches his villainous pimp coat and is now a nude Idris Elba, but I suppose this is equivalent exchange for Skimbleshanks being so amazing.

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While not as incredible as the previous two songs and not quite as good as the stage version due to the removal of the latent homoeroticism, Mr. Mistoffelees’s song is actually okay. It’s nice that he gets to sing his own praises here, but it’s just nothing compared to the stage version, even if it has a fun little finale and it actually is genuinely heartwarming when Old Deuteronomy returns and sings along. It’s a sweet moment that almost makes up for how much Mr. M has sucked the whole movie. Oh, also, all of the Jellicle choices Macavity kidnapped fight back against their captor Growltiger, with Skimbleshanks aggressively tapdancing at him and Gus using his acting skills to make him fall into the Thames. This is so goofy that it wraps back around to being awesome.

The movie winds down in the goofiest way possible after the gorgeous reprise of “Memory,” with Macavity being caught on a big sculpture and apparently running out of magic, leaving him stranded like a regular cat. Then we get one final fourth-wall breaking song where Judi Dench directly addresses the camera that has the music swell up to the point where it seems like the song is ending numerous times without actually ending, and each time is funnier than the last. Really, what better way could you end such a silly film than with this?

Now, a general thing that’s great about the film is the choreography. The dancing in the movie is spectacular. I don’t really have a bad thing to say about it. And, in a broad sense, the music is good too, even if the singers aren’t always perfect, the backing tracks are great, and there’s a lot of fun in the tracks in the latter half of the movie. McRae and Taylor Swift’s contributions in particular are great, and Hudson’s version of “Memory” is incredibly powerful, as is McKellan’s take on Gus’ song.

Is It Really THAT Bad?

No.

Look, it’s hard to be like “Wow this is a fantastic masterpiece of film” or anything like that, because the movie has blatant and evident problems. But this is literally the reason I made this review series; I’m asking if the movie is really as bad as people say, and in this case, no, there’s too much genuinely enjoyable in the film for me to say it’s deserving of several Razzies and a spot on the Bottom 100 of IMDB that places it above Master of Disguise and The Emoji Movie. Like, seriously? This is worse than the 90 minute commercial starring the abusive dick who called a bomb threat on his girlfriend? Hell, this movie is rated worse than Artemis Fowl, which is definitely a contender for the worst film ever made (and amusingly enough also features Judi Dench in it). Artemis Fowl has next to no redeeming qualities in it, and it certainly doesn’t have Skimbleshanks, whereas Cats has several fun scenes and also has Skimbleshanks.

I definitely think there’s more of an argument for this film being so bad it’s good or camp at best, but it’s definitely more enjoyable than you’d think it would be. If you can learn to live with the weird CGI, it’s a fun, goofy romp that you might find yourself feeling for at times. After my second watch, I have to say… I’ve started to unironically enjoy this movie. It might even be one of my favorites of all time. I can’t even deny that it has a lot of stuff I don’t like, and it falls flat in a lot of ways the 1998 film soars, and it screwed up some of my favorite characters… but there are so many moments where the fun and heart of Cats shines through brighter than it has any right to, and all the failures of Hooper and Universal seem distant for a just a few minutes.

So yeah, is this movie good all around? No way. But is it fun, does it have value, and is there more redeeming qualities than the critics let on? Oh yes there is.

#Is it really that bad #IIRTB #review #movie review #Cats #Cats 2019 #Andrew Lloyd Webber #musical #so bad it's good #Tom Hooper #Judi Dench #Rebel Wilson #James Corden #Jason Derulo #Taylor Swift #Idris Elba #Sir Ian McKellan #Steven McRae

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potatocrab · 4 years ago

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father’s daughter

Butch and Rosie; two stubborn kids who don't know how to communicate with each other—sparks are bound to fly. Just two lonely hearted people that were forced to grow up before they were ready.

After an unsettling argument, Butch relies on old vices to get him by. When he returns to the Megaton homestead, he finds that Rosie has been suffering in silence. Now, he's determined to reconcile their differences and help her grieve over a painful past.

x - x

*Set somewhat immediately after Loose Lips with direct references to that work and Whiskey and Rain.*

Butch DeLoria x Rosie Sheridan (Lone Wanderer)

5895 words | [read on Ao3]

Drinking was a mistake.

Butch only seemed to come to that conclusion too little, too late—always way after the alcohol started weighing his stomach down, and the pleasant burn down his throat turned fowl. He should know better, shouldn’t he? Liquor was evil and the inventor of beer was a cruel mistress. Butch had to remind himself he only called it that because Rosie had taught him about the history of his ‘favorite poison’ as some form of torture while he recovered from a hangover one bright and sunny morning.

Served him right for what he put her through after getting sloshed at Moriarty’s. He couldn’t get a straight answer from her (or Gob, for that matter) on his actions from that evening, but considering who he was, and his track record, there was a probability he either did something or said something stupid. Probably a combination of the two. His only solace was that Rosie didn’t completely ice him out, insisting to drop the subject of his missing memories with the promise he cut back on his vices.

That’s where Butch messed up—again.

Instead of agreeing, he pushed back, digging and prodding for information that she wasn’t willing to provide. Their discussion spiraled into a heated argument before dissolving into bickering, reminiscent of their childhood in the vault. They were two stubborn kids who didn’t know how to communicate with each other—sparks were bound to fly. And so, she ran off to Moira’s to pout in private and he sulked away to the only place he could find comfort—the bar.

He drowned his sorrows, wishing for a different kind of spark between he and Rosie. He’d already been carrying around a flame for her, a fact he was just barely coming to terms with. It wasn’t something worth sharing and ruining a friendship over—not when he couldn’t even manage that. Butch stayed at Moriarty’s all evening—again—until Gob kicked him to the metal wayside.

He tried to continue his wallowing at the Brass Lantern, but all Leo would give him was a can of purified water, insisting he drink it to sober up if he was heading home. The implication nearly sent Butch to the Megaton common house instead—he didn’t deserve to call Rosie’s place that, not when he was still acting like an idiot who hadn’t learned anything since leaving Vault 101 behind. It was that idiocy—mixed with some drunken bravery—that made Butch decide he couldn’t hide away forever. After chugging down another can of water and using the restaurant’s facilities (nearly puking at the pungent, chemical smell of Abraxo), he headed up the rafters and right to Rosie’s front door.

The lights were off, which meant she was either asleep, or had crashed at Moira’s. Butch wasn’t sure which was worse. He either had to be sneaky, or deal with the repercussions of making her feel so uncomfortable that she didn’t feel welcome in her own home. He pushed open the unlocked door as quietly as he could manage, opting for stealth as he slid inside. The house was quiet—but all Butch could focus on was the dull throb at the base of his skull, hoping the sound of his footsteps against the staircase weren’t as loud as he imagined.

At least he managed to keep his balance all the way to the second-floor landing, releasing a deep breath he didn’t notice he’d been holding. All he wanted was to fall face-first into his bed and sleep the terrible day away. Just as Butch leaned against the doorway to his room to call it a night, he noticed the faint glow of a Pip-Boy light coming from Rosie’s bedroom. So she was home. The question now was, what was she doing? Maybe it would be better if he left her alone, but Butch was tipsy, and curious—especially when he heard the click of a holodisk through the slightly ajar door.

“I don’t want you to follow me.”

Hey! Butch perked up when he heard her old man’s voice. What was she doing listening to tapes from her dad, and why was she doing it in the dark?

“God knows life in the Vault isn’t perfect, but at least you’ll be safe. Just knowing that will be enough to keep me going.”

Butch frowned, finally registering that he was listening to Doc Sheridan’s last recording before he abandoned Vault 101—before he abandoned Rosie. At first he felt angry. Butch had to deal with the fallout of the doctor’s choices and had seen the pain caused to those he left behind—even if Rosie never talked about her father, or his death.

“Goodbye, Rosemary. Darling.” Shit—was she crying? He could definitely hear her sniffling. “I love you.”

That’s when Butch realized he was intruding—this was not meant for his ears. He took a step back, trying to slip into his room undetected. His boot knocked the door with a bang while the metal floorboards creaked beneath his clumsy movements. There was no recovering from that. He winced, clenching his teeth as he heard Rosie’s alarmed gasp, stuck to the spot just listening to the faint shuffling on the other side of the door.

“Butch?” she hushed, the light shining in the direction of the hallway. “I—is that you?”

Damnit. He sighed, slumping forward. The jig was up, and now his mind was racing with all the possibilities of how he could manage to sweet-talk his way out of the situation. Make it not look at bad as it seemed—like he wasn’t eavesdropping, or that he hadn’t just spent the last several hours knocking back stale beer and whiskey.

He cleared his throat. “Yeah, it’s me.”

“Oh.”

Well that wasn’t very reassuring. Butch couldn’t tell if she sounded disappointed, or surprised. Or just sad. He swallowed the lump in his throat, deciding to inch closer to the doorway, pushing one hand through the gap and wiggling his fingers in a wave.

“See?” he called, waiting a few beats before poking his head inside.

Rosie was sitting on her bed, hugging her knees to her chest, one thick blanket wrapped around her shoulders to combat the winter chill. In front of her was a spread of holodisks and other belongings—hard to tell when the only light was coming from her discarded Pip-Boy on the nightstand. But it was fairly obvious that she had been subjecting herself to some kind of melancholy trip down memory lane, something that Butch felt he was too inadequate and too inebriated to deal with. Still, he wasn’t about to just…leave her alone.

“Want some company?”

He was sure she was going to tell him to get lost, but she nodded, moving the tapes to the side so they were almost out of view. “Okay.”

Even with her whispered approval, he hesitated in the doorway, hating that he wasn’t as sober as he wanted to be, and probably smelled like a Brahmin’s backside. Or worse. Eventually, he made it to her bedside, rubbing the back of his neck as a nervous flutter of warmth radiated through his chest. She generally didn’t let him into the privacy sanctuary of her room and now he was inches away from where she slept. He’d feel more excited about the situation if his mind wasn’t so cloudy.

Rosie stared up at him with a disappointed frown. “You’ve been drinking.”

Butch gulped, trying to ignore the lingering taste of alcohol on the back of his tongue. Maybe it would’ve been better if he stopped for a smoke on the rafters before sneaking back there, or maybe that would’ve just added more fuel to the fire—he was supposed to cut back on that too. He slowly blinked, realizing the silence had stretched on too long for him to lie.

“N—yeah,” he said with a defeated sigh.

More awkward silence. He eyed the space she’d cleared. Was it meant for him? No time to be presumptuous—that’s usually when he made a total ass of himself. Rosie followed his line of sight and nodded, saying nothing else. Butch took the hint to sit down on the edge of the mattress, leaving enough space between them so she wouldn’t feel crowded. Even so, she shifted her legs away, adjusting the blanket so it was tight around her shoulders, almost like she was guarding herself from him. It was hard not to take it personally, but if Rosie didn’t want him there, she would say so. Right?

Ugh. He was too drunk to deal with this level of confusion and self-doubt. What he needed was an appropriate conversation topic that wouldn’t make her more upset. Butch nervously drummed his fingers against his knees as he glanced around her darkened room, before suddenly noticing there was something missing.

“Hey, where’s Dogmeat?” he asked. He thought about how there was no robotic voice to greet him when he returned to the house. “Or Worthy?”

“Moira offered to run Wadsworth’s maintenance routine so she could study his specifications,” she explained with a small shrug. “I left Dogmeat at the shop too, so it would be quiet. So I could be alone,” she avoided his stare. “I didn’t think you’d be coming back tonight.”

“Where else was I supposed to go?” Butch felt a little offended, frowning at her. “Common house was full—” A lie, but she didn’t need to know that, not when he was after sympathy points. “Don’t exactly have the caps to crash at the Saloon, ya’ know.”

Rosie regarded him with an annoyed expression, and he bit his tongue, already regretting what he’d said. “Plenty of caps to spend on the booze, though.”

“I’m sure you’re friendly enough with the girls there, maybe you wouldn’t need to—” she stopped herself short, pursing her lips as her face flushed pink with color. She turned away again.

Butch’s head was clear enough to catch her insinuation, and he didn’t care for it. He could deal with being called a drunk, but he wasn’t some manwhore, sleeping around with any available gal in the Wasteland. Those days were long behind him, especially now that he was with Rosie. Not with Rosie—not in that way.

What was with her, anyways? She’d been acting strangely lately; more flighty than usual, and more emotionally and physically guarded. A weird and worrisome setback after the trust-building they’d done in with their friendship. Rosie had been her usual, anxious self when they were hunkered down in that rainstorm a few weeks ago, albeit with a few mixed signals that had him thinking she wanted to kiss him as much as he wanted to kiss her. He decided to blame it on the whiskey and her head-cold instead.

But then he woke up one morning, face-down in his pillow with a pounding headache and Rosie’s cold shoulder. She still nursed him through his hangover, showing a reserved kindness with her bedside manner as he suffered through a stomach bug the following few days. No more of Moriarty’s moonshine, she ‘prescribed’, written down on a piece of paper that was taped to his Pip-Boy. A whole week passed of them tip-toing around each other, Butch struggling to comprehend what he’d done wrong. When he asked, Rosie skirted the issue, but he just couldn’t let sleeping dogs lie. He stirred the pot until it blew up in his face.

And now? Now they were here, back at what felt like square one.

Butch groaned, smacking his hand to his face as he tugged his fingers through the front of his hair. They really needed to stop running around in circles like idiots. No more falling back into old habits and old traits like they were still stuck underground and under the thumb of the Overseer. Didn’t they agree to a fresh start? Maybe that’s where the problem was. Nineteen years of rivalry didn’t just disappear with a simple apology and a handshake. The two never really talked about their past lives in Vault 101, like drudging up the past would make things between them more complicated than it needed to be. Seeing Rosie now, curled up on her bed, still teary-eyed from crying over the phantom voice of her dead dad made Butch realize that leaving the past behind and building walls never did any good.

He’d felt guilty before, but the knot in the pit of his stomach was a completely different level of regret. Now that they had a relationship—a friendship—he was desperate to keep it that way. Even if it meant pushing down the other, more intense feelings that had blossomed in his heart. It didn’t matter if he thought that maybe, just maybe, Rosie might feel the same way—he’d do anything to mend their broken bonds.

Rosie suddenly moved, leaning forward as she spoke. “I—I’m sorry, I—”

“Hey, no—” he interrupted, shaking his head. Butch turned towards her, scooting so he was sitting on the bed more comfortably. “You don’t need to apologize, Rosie. I do. I’m sorry. Acting like an ass, doin’ things I said I wouldn’t, and pickin’ fights with the only friend I got left in the Wasteland.”

He hesitated on that last part, heart aching within his chest. “We’re still friends, right?”

She nodded, the tiniest of smiles pulling at her lips. “Yes, Butch.”

“Phew,” he sighed, trying to inject some humor into the tense moment. He hated when things got too serious, even when it was necessary. “I really mean it. I don’t wanna keep fuckin’ up like this, backsliding into the jerk you hated growing up.”

He clenched his fingers into a fist before very carefully reaching over to tap her knee. She glanced at where his hand rested but didn’t flinch away.

“You’re all I got, ya’ know?” the words sounded familiar as he spoke them, but he wasn’t sure why.

Rosie’s eyes widened a little, and then, her smile increased—just barely. “Yes. Of course. Who else would take care of a sad sack like you?”

Butch pursed his lips, confused as to why that sounded familiar too. She rested her hand over his for a moment, giving it a light squeeze before flipping it over and sliding her fingers up his wrist to the latch of his Pip-Boy. He watched her movements, finding a strange sort of intimacy to her removing the device and glove for him, as if he wasn’t perfectly capable of doing so himself.

“My apology stands,” she sighed, resting the Pip-Boy on the nightstand next to hers. The light wavered, drowning them both in an eerie, muted glow. “I—I’ve been harsh on you, making demands when I should’ve been more patient.”

“I deserve it,” he replied. He wanted to put his hand back on her knee, wanted any excuse to touch her again, but held back, plucking at a loose strand on his jeans. “Hey, so uh…the other night…”

He trailed, anxious about bringing up the topic that had set off this chain of events in the first place. Rosie blinked at him and said nothing.

“I just—” he tugged at his shirt collar, wondering why he felt so hot. Was that a normal sign of intoxication? “Ya’ got me worried that I did somethin’ really stupid, like…” he trailed off, flicking his gaze away from her face, focusing instead on the way her fingers were twisting around the hem of her blanket. “I didn’t try to hurt you, or—”

“What?” Rosie said, alarmed. She shook her head in earnest. “No! Nothing like…that.”

As intense as she sounded, her words did little to reassure him. Butch continued to pout, wondering if she’d lie to him to spare his feelings. Then again, Rosie wasn’t exactly the best at fibbing, and had the worst poker face. She seemed to notice his skepticism.

“You…asked me to stay with you, so I did,” she reached up to tuck a loose strand of hair back behind her ear and kept her hand there to rest against the side of her neck. It was distracting, almost as much as her soft laugh. “You thought that me helping to take off your jacket meant the evening was leading into something more, but I assure you, even when inebriated, the Butch-man is all talk and no action.”

He was momentarily stunned by her joke, before putting the puzzle pieces together. In a drunken state he’d propositioned her and now, instead of being mad at him, she was teasing him. He flashed her an overexaggerated pout, one that had her hiding her grin behind her hand. Butch leaned sideways across her bed, digging his elbow into the mattress as he propped up his head.

“If ya’ wanted some action, girlie, all you had to do was ask,” he beamed at her, adding a wink when he noted the tint to her cheeks. Too easy. But he wasn’t there to get carried away with flirtatious innuendo—not now. “Ya’ sure I didn’t do, or say anything else that night?”

There had to be more to the story, he just knew it. She wouldn’t have reacted the way she did otherwise. Rosie hesitated, all the humor draining from her face. “You didn’t.”

Before Butch could say anything else, she continued. “Why have you been spending so much time drinking at the bars anyways?”

The pointed question caught him off guard, and he struggled to think of a good enough answer. One that didn’t make him feel vulnerable, at least. As withdrawn as Rosie was about her feelings, Butch was way worse—just so happened that his coping mechanisms were far unhealthier, and probably genetic. From where he was positioned, it was easier to see the collection of holodisks and loose papers, remembering that he’d intruded on a very private moment. He owed her some honesty, for once.

“Homesick, mostly. I think. Maybe,” he cleared his throat, unsure. He traced his fingers against the fabric of her sheets, focusing on the way her left hand rested on the bed in front of her—he still wanted to hold it. “Not for the vault, but…ugh. It’s hard to explain. I’m just—”

He chewed on his bottom lip, in disbelief he was about to say it out loud. But it didn’t seem so strange admitting it to Rosie. “Sad.”

When he finally looked back to her face, he found her blue eyes shining with a kind of sympathy he didn’t expect to find. “I know the feeling.”

Silence blanketed them, but it isn’t as uncomfortable as it was before. There was a quiet understanding as they regarded each other—just two lonely hearted people that were forced to grow up before they were ready. At least they had each other. Butch only wished that fact didn’t make his chest constrict with a kind of yearning that could never be fulfilled.

In an effort to distract himself, he glanced back down at the tapes she had haphazardly shoved beneath the spare pillow. The question danced on the tip of his tongue, and if he had been sober, he probably would’ve remained silent.

“Wanna talk about it?”

Rosie wrung her hands together, obviously anxious at his question. “How much did you hear?”

“Noth—” he decided it was best not to lie, especially when she frowned at him. His whole body felt warm again. “Your pops. Calling you Rosemary.”

She flinched, startled, eyes going wide behind her thick framed glasses. Butch knew it was her full name, but nobody except her old man, the Overseer and Mr. Brotch called her by it. He’d certainly never used it, well, until now. No wonder she seemed surprised—did it sound as foreign as it tasted? She’d given him strange looks when he started using Rosie more often than Stitches, but this was something a little different. A lot different. Like he’d spoken something sacred and forbidden, yet she didn’t look like she wanted to smite him.

“I—” she took a shaky breath, steadying herself. “You know what happened to my dad?”

He nodded solemnly, remaining silent and unmoving. Butch kept his eyes glued to her face, thinking about how he learned about it all secondhand. When she found him in the Muddy Rudder in October, she briefly mentioned her father had died. It wasn’t until he traveled with her to the Citadel that the rest of the blanks were filled in, and he learned about Project Purity and the Enclave, and how Doctor James Sheridan had sacrificed his life to keep the technology out of group’s hands. Rosie had witnessed it all, and barely escaped with the surviving scientists into Brotherhood safety. But she never spoke about it, so neither did he. If Butch knew how much suffering she’d been doing in silence, he might’ve said something sooner.

“I’m still trying to get over it all,” she whispered.

His heart ached for her and the amount of grief she must’ve been fighting through. The regret returned to churn at his stomach, fighting with the ever-present butterflies. Some friend he was. He wanted her to know he could be a compassionate and thoughtful guy—he could show off his romantic side later, God willing. Tonight, Butch DeLoria wore his heart on his sleeve.

He slid his hand across the space between them, and lightly grasped her fingers, brushing his thumb across the back of her knuckles. “Maybe you don’t have to.”

Rosie stared at their clasped hands for a moment, regarding his words. He reluctantly let her go when she pulled away, suddenly turning towards the nightstand. She grabbed his Pip-Boy, placing it between them, leaving hers behind so it could continue to serve as a makeshift lamp. Then, she reached to rifle through the holodisks on the bedspread, the blanket around her shifting. Butch ignored the way her loose shirt flashed the bare skin of her shoulder—now was not the time to get excited over a little bit of flesh.

“I only got to work with my father for a brief time at the Jefferson Memorial,” she started to explain, lifting up a tape that was labeled Project Purity Personal Journal. “I collected all of his journals and recordings but didn’t get a chance to listen to them until…after.”

She hesitated on placing the holodisk into the Pip-Boy’s player. “Like father, like daughter. He was very meticulous in his recordings. Some of these journals date back to before my birth. Before…my mom died and…my dad fled to the vault.”

Talking about her old man was one thing, but Butch wasn’t about to broach the topic of her mother. Hell no. You want to talk about something forbidden, that was it. Rosie didn’t dwell on what she said, toying with the playback controls.

“I thought if I read his notes, listened to him explain…” her voice broke as fresh tears formed in the corners of her eyes. “I would get the closure I’ve been chasing. But—”

She pressed play, and Butch involuntarily winced at the sound of Doctor James Sheridan’s voice. In Vault 101, he wasn’t somebody that necessarily ever had a kind word to say to him, not that Butch was deserving of such respect. He was Rosie’s childhood bully, a general menace, and was always messing up his clinic with blood and excuses. It was strange to hear him in such a disjointed manner, musing about Project Purity. He sounded tired. Guilty.

“It’s been close to twenty years since my last entry. Since I left all of this behind to make a life for my daughter, Rosemary. We spent all that time in Vault 101, tucked away from the rest of the world. It wasn’t perfect, but it was safe, and that’s all I could have hoped for.”

He glowered at the squiggly lines that appeared on the screen of his Pip-Boy. If the good doctor thought Vault 101 was safe, he was living in a world of delusion. Probably why he finally broke out, come to think of it.

“Now, my daughter is a grown woman. Beautiful, intelligent, confident. Just like her mother.”

Rosie was covering her face with one hand now, but it was obvious that she’d begun to cry in earnest, teeth clamped down hard across her bottom lip so she’d remain as silent as possible.

“And as hard as it was to admit it, she doesn't need her daddy anymore.”

The recording ended.

Rosie was unable to hold back the quiet sounds of her sobbing and snapped both hands to her face in and effort to hide her tears. She pushed away her glasses, rubbing at her eyes and cheeks as she turned away. It wasn’t like Butch hadn’t seen her cry before, but this was raw, unfiltered emotion. More than ever he felt like an interloper, like he was seeing something not meant for his eyes.

“I can’t help but feel like…” Rosie hiccupped away another sob, frantically wiping at her face. “Like he blamed me. The reason why Project Purity didn’t continue, why it failed. The reason why my mom died—it was all because of me.”

She shook her head in disbelief. “All those years growing up in the vault. It wasn’t like he was…abusive, just…distant. And now I know why.”

Butch decided it was time to move, time to say something—time to lend some kind of comfort. Even if she ultimately rejected it, he had to try. He pushed himself to sit, scooting his Pip-Boy to the side so his legs could occupy the space instead. In retrospect, he was a lot closer than he intended to be, but there was no backing away now, no second-guessing his decisions. Heart. On. Sleeve.

“Hey, hey,” he tentatively reached out to her shoulders, rolling them under his grasp. “Don’t—”

He wasn’t about to tell her not to cry, but what she was suggesting didn’t sit right with him. Butch titled her chin up with a fleeting touch. Rosie inhaled sharply, and her hands fell to his forearms, but she didn’t push him away. She still couldn’t look at him, staring down at what little space remained between their bodies.

“No way your old man thought that way about you,” he said, tilting his head in an attempt to catch her eyes. “I mean—he wouldn’t say all those things about ya’ if he didn’t think it was true, right? Never thought you’d hear them, so why lie?”

Rosie’s breath was still shaky, silent tears rolling down her cheeks. He quickly swept them away with the pad of his thumb and gingerly cupped the side of her face, fingers tangling in her hair.

“Beautiful, intelligent, confident,” he repeated the words from the holotape, hoping that if she couldn’t believe dear ol’ dad, then she’d at least believe him. “Sounds like the Rosie I know.”

Finally, she looked at him and the breath was stolen right out from his lungs. Her eyes were still glossy, but she’d stopped crying, the blue of her irises shimmering so intensely it was like he was being hypnotized. A blush had settled across her cheeks and nose, creeping up from her pale neck. Butch flicked his gaze to her slightly parted lips, realizing that by titling his chin down, he could kiss her.

A split second of clarity snapped his mind into focus and like a punch to the gut he realized how much of a dumbass move that would be. Kiss her? That was the kind of debauchery that got him into trouble with Rosie in the first place. He thought so, at least. Plus, he couldn’t kiss her when she was vulnerable, and while he was still so full of booze he might as well puke in her trash bin. No way did he want their first kiss to be one he regretted.

Rosie’s fingers dug into his jacket and regardless of what the silent signal meant, he pulled away, giving her space. He couldn’t look at her face for a long while, not wanting to see the possible disappointment in her expression. When he finally dared to glance up, he found her staring at his boots, dirty from whatever he’d walked across while in town that evening. And now they were resting across her bedsheets.

Butch let out a nervous chuckle as he swiftly untied the laces and pushed them off his feet. Rosie offered a lopsided smile at the gesture, though he had to wonder if she actually wanted him to leave instead. He wiggled his toes in his socks, reminding himself that if she wanted him gone, she’d say so. When the silence stretched on for too long, he awkwardly gestured to a holotape that was labeled differently than the others.

“What’s that one?”

Rosie’s smile was much more genuine as she read the label. “Better Days.”

“What’s on it?” Butch asked cautiously. “Doesn’t sound so science-y.”

“It’s—it’s one of my mother’s recordings,” she explained, in a quiet voice.

Butch’s curiosity was spiked. “Whoa, really?”

She seemed to be considering something before grabbing for his Pip-Boy again, swapping out one holodisk for another. This time, he wasn’t sure what to expect, leaning closer to the device in anticipation.

“...that batch of tests was inconclusive, but Madison and I are convinced it's a problem with the secondary filtration system. We're going to re-calibrate the equipment and try again tomorrow, so that—”

Rosie paused the playback, and Butch couldn’t help but grin at the voice he’d heard. He met her gaze, and softly laughed, which only perplexed her. “Your ma sounds just like you,” he said, catching her little, flustered expression. “I mean, you sound like her. Smart. Got those brains from somewhere, huh?”

“I—” she bit down on her bottom lip, holding back a beaming smile. Butch wished she wouldn’t. “I suppose so.”

“Is there more?” he felt selfish for asking. This was her mom, and she’d been willing to share such a private memory with him. He didn’t have to be so greedy.

Rosie fiddled with the Pip-Boy controls, the tint to her cheeks returning. “It’s…embarrassing.”

“Whadd’ya mean?”

She was suddenly interested in a spot on the metal ceiling. “My mom was uhm…interrupted,” she said. “By…my dad.”

Oh. Butch bit back a lewd expression, considering these were Rosie’s parents. Her deceased parents. She noticed his reaction and leaned forward to give his shoulder a playful shove. Well, that was a good sign, if any, that they were back on good terms. Or headed that way.

“Get your mind out of the gutter!” she reprimanded, even if there was a trace of amusement in her tone. “It isn’t like they recorded a—a sex tape, or something.”

Butch’s brain short-wired on Rosie uttering the words sex tape, and it took him a couple seconds to catch up to reality. He pointed at the glowing screen. “How do I know? You’re the one who won’t play it.”

She huffed, but eventually continued the playback, lifting both hands to press against her face as her mother’s voice echoed around them. Whatever Butch was expecting, it wasn’t the playful teasing of a woman scientist, distracted by her amorous husband. Much different than those racy holofilms the Snakes and him used to sneak a peek at in the restricted area. This was romance—this was love.

“We'll move on to diagnosing the issues with the radiation dampeners. That should... Ow! James! Now? We really shouldn't...”

The tiny chortle is what really set him off. Why’d it sound so familiar, like he’d heard it before, replying in his dreams? Butch quickly realized, as he looked back up to meet Rosie’s eyes that he’d heard her giggle in the same way—a rare and wonderful thing, but he’d heard it enough times to catch the similarities now. He wanted to hear it again. Not in a faded memory, but straight from her lips—and he wanted to be the cause.

“Sounds like…they were happy,” he finally said.

Rosie slowly nodded. “Yeah.”

She moved the Pip-Boy back to the nightstand, and he took the hint that there would be no more listening sessions that evening. He had no idea what time it was, but it had to be late, and no doubt that she’d exhausted herself crying—both before and after his arrival. It was time for him to leave.

“Butch?”

This time, Rosie was the one to close the distance, scooting closer to his body before wrapping her arms around his neck in a loose hug. She rested her chin against his shoulder and sighed, the sensation causing a shiver to run down the length of his spine.

“Thank you,” she whispered. It was all she said.

Butch caught up to the moment, looping his arms around her waist, daring to squeeze her closer. “Yeah.”

After a few minutes, she nuzzled her cheek into the leather of his jacket. “You smell like gin. And cigarette ash. If it weren’t for the pomade and cologne, I’d probably kick you out.”

Butch snickered, but his brain was too hazy to come up with a proper comeback. Either from a sudden onset of drowsiness or the lingering effects of his intoxication, he wasn’t sure. “Yeah, well you…”

He rested his head against hers, pressing his nose through her dark hair. She smelt pretty, fresh and warm from a recent shower. The words fell from his lips before he could stop them. “You smell nice.”

Rosie very softly laughed, a quiet little giggle that ghosted across the shell of his ear and warmed his body and soul. She went quiet after that, going still in his arms. He didn’t dare to move, even after several minutes turned into almost a half-hour. His eyes went droopy, and he started to tilt sideways as it became harder to combat sleep.

“Hey, Rosie,” he hushed, trying to rouse her. “Time for bed. Think you’d rather sleep horizontally, yeah?”

She hummed, arms tightening around his shoulders. “Okay.”

When he tried to pull away again, she protested. “Don’t leave.”

Butch froze in place—surely she was sleep-talking. Did she know what she was talking about? Just a few weeks ago she was abhorrently against the idea of sharing a bed and now…?

Rosie spoke one last time, in a barely-there whisper. “Please.”

There was no denying her now, not that he necessarily wanted to leave. Butch only wished the circumstances were a little bit better. Clearer. Less muddled and thick with heavy emotion. If he wasn’t so tired, he might’ve had a crying session himself, but that could wait for another evening.

Instead, he shifted their bodies backwards across the bed, uncaring that they were laying across the mattress diagonally, and that his feet were hanging off the bed. If he moved her again, he’d surely wake her and risk ruining the entire moment. He grabbed the blanket and pulled it across their torsos, shielding them from the cool air of her room. Rosie snuggled close, arms curled tight against his chest—she was blissfully asleep. Butch tucked his arm around her waist, allowing himself one fleeting kiss to her temple as he succumbed to the darkness of sleep.

“Goodnight,” he whispered. “Rosemary.”

#fallout 3 #butch deloria x f!lone wanderer #butch deloria #rosie sheridan #fallout fanfic #rosie sheridan fics #angst train choo choo #donald glover emotions (tm)#more of Butch in his feelings #Rosie has a cry #they do hug though so it's not all sad

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silentauroriamthereal · 5 years ago

Note

So, a question about Mary inspired by your recent post. I know you hate her (I think she is horrible too), but is she a character that you love to hate? Do you think she is an interesting character? Does she fit a role she is written to play? There are many characters who are terrible people, but are still great characters in all their hateful glory (I think Moriarty was like that until he got turned into a caricature). Is Mary one of those for you or not?

Interesting question. I would have to say no, though. For me, what makes me appreciate a character in any respect is a combination of things, such as how interesting I find them, whether or not their motivations feel clear and well-founded, consistency, continuity in writing/characterization. Sometimes other factors, like how sympathetic I find them, or how likeable or admirable I find them in spite of agreeing wholeheartedly that the character is a terrible person from every moral standpoint. Some of these things are more subjective than others. From where I’m standing, the BBC version of Mary Morstan is severely lacking in a lot of these areas, but most sorely in having well-founded motivations and consistency/continuity. I don’t find her to be a well-written character, at all. Let me break this down a bit.

1. Do I find the character likeable in spite of moral flaws (and is this important)? No, to both. There are definitely villains that I do find likeable in spite of obvious moral failings. The obvious comparison in the BBC Sherlock world would be Moriarty. He’s obvious a terrible human being - a literal terrorist - but he’s so damned charming about it that you almost can’t help but root for him, in a way. Loki in the MCU universe is rather like that. Other villains, like Benedict’s Khan, are sympathetic not because they’re charming, but they’re intelligent and have genuinely understandable motivations (the safeguarding of his crew, for instance). Does a villain have to be likeable to be a well-written villain? Absolutely not. To use two other examples in the BBC Sherlock universe, I would cite both Magnussen and Culverton Smith. Horrible men. Good consistency of writing. Not charming or sympathetic in any way, but solidly written characters. Do I love them/love to hate them? No. I just dislike them, full stop.

2. Do I find her motivations well-founded or sympathetic? No, neither. Mary is a character who, canonically (aka this bit is not subjective to my personal opinion):

lied about her name, background, personal history, all of it, to the man she claims to love, never apologized for it or demonstrated any manner of remorse

is canonically someone who kills people and destabilizes governments (at the very least) for personal gain, never faced any consequences in terms of criminal justice or retribution for these crimes or indicated any manner of remorse for them

attacked her own maid of honour - a person whom she befriended for the sole reason of gaining access to her boss’s office - and left her bleeding on the floor, never demonstrated any manner of remorse for this, either

her motivations are weirdly unfounded. The best example of this is her choice to shoot Sherlock rather than Magnussen that night. Her initial motivation was to ensure Magnussen’s silence so that John wouldn’t find out who she really was/so that she wouldn’t be forced to face justice for her criminal history. Shooting Sherlock did nothing to ensure Magnussen’s silence. If she intended Sherlock to die, it would have ensured HIS silence, but not Magnussen’s. If she didn’t intend Sherlock to die, then I’m not sure what it accomplished, since the very first thing he did once he was physically able was to tell John - exactly what she didn’t want. And it still did nothing to ensure Magnussen’s silence. She just left that wide open and instead made the extremely overboard choice to shoot the best man at her own wedding (not hugely worse than attacking the maid of honour, but still). She could have tried appealing for his help, using compassion for John as a persuading factor. She could have tried threatening HIM at gunpoint to guarantee his ongoing silence. Instead she went straight for the heart, quite literally. Unfounded and ineffective - a really irritating combination!

3. Do I find the character consistently written with solid continuity? NO. This is probably my biggest beef with the character. The worst, I find, is being sold a crock of horseshit about Mary having had some sort of redemption “arc”. An arc, by definition, is a shape that has a beginning, a peak, and an end. There was no lead-up to this “peak” moment of Mary suddenly discovering remorse for having shot Sherlock - that, and nothing else. There was nothing in the writing or in her characterization to support such an out-of-left-field move. There was no gradual shift in her motivations, which were consistently to that point nothing more than self-preservation, protecting her own interests: keep John in the dark so that he couldn’t make an informed decision for himself, tell any lie to keep what she wants (John, albeit an ignorant version of him), run away/protect herself. She deserted her AGRA teammates, leaving literally half of them behind to suffer torture and/or death without even confirming that they were beyond rescue, then repeated her pattern, attacking Sherlock (AGAIN) and running off to leave John and her own child behind. Her lack of remorse for any of this was consistent as well - she clearly felt wholly justified in all of these actions, that she had nothing to apologize for. That JOHN was the one in the wrong by not speaking to her for “months of silence” after she shot his best friend in the heart, that she had every right to dictate what John could or could not do, that he had no right to have a say in naming their child, that she somehow “had” to shoot Sherlock, that John and Sherlock were so much less intelligent than she was that she couldn’t have them “hanging off her gun arm” - when in fact, it was John who outsmarted her by planting the tracking device in the USB key that he already knew she would attack Sherlock over and steal.

4. Do I find the character admirable, if not likeable? No. Mary is a coward, interested in nothing beyond what she wants. She has no noble, greater motivations than personal gain. She doesn’t care about what consequences her actions have, least of all on the man she supposedly “loves”, or on her own infant that she left behind. She commits crimes for money, not out of some need to defend the innocent, patriotic reasons (which I personally don’t subscribe to anyway, but others do), self-defense, even - just money. I find that so completely gross. Money =/= an admirable motivation, especially not when it’s gained through literal murder. I admire honesty, courage, self-sacrifice, real love, which puts the needs and wants and health of the beloved above one’s own. Mary demonstrates absolutely none of these things. She wants for herself and no one else, and I have never once swallowed this notion that she’s somehow smarter than Sherlock, Mycroft, and John combined. Not only did John himself outwit her with ease, but it felt like transparent pandering to Amanda Abbington as recompense for them writing her out of the show. And then they doubled down on it with creating some ghost version of Mary that John needs some SERIOUS therapy to deal with that actually bore no resemblance to Mary as she actually was, then gave her that gross voiceover that reasonlessly granted her credit for having created one of the greatest friendships in English literary history. That, at least, is consistent with the writers having had Mary set herself up as the broker of John and Sherlock’s friendship in TEH, which I also never bought. They didn’t need her help; John just needed time to cool down and come to understand - he couldn’t even last 24 hours without going to find Sherlock of his own accord. They didn’t need her “help” and she certainly didn’t “create” them.

So yeah, no: I hate the character, hate the inconsistency even more, wish they had followed through with the solid villain arc they actually wrote. I don’t think that Mary is “strong” or “interesting” just because she uses violence for personal gain. I don’t think she’s a good role model or an interesting character - I just see selfishness, greed, and cowardice.

#sherlock #that wife #not tagging the character because I'd rather not bring the stans down on me!#john watson #moftiss #northernstardust

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mxpseudonym · 4 years ago

Text

Three’s A Crowd

Pairing: No romance but the gang’s all here: Sherlock and John, mentions of Moriarty and Mycroft.

Summary: Moriarty’s bff goes to see what all the hubbub about the detective is all about.

Length: 903 words (allegedly)

Warnings: None!

AN: I’ve been playing around with writing “mean girls” and what not. I hope you enjoy!

–

Felicity held her tea in one hand and adjusted her glasses in the other before slipping it back into the pocket of her patterned trousers. She had to admit a bit of confusion as she stood examining the clues to a case yet solved on the wall of 221B Baker Street. She brought a manicured finger up to lightly trace where Sherlock Holmes had scrawled a note next to a snapshot of a shady-looking man. It was Jackson Sprawling, but that was for her to know and Sherlock to find out if he were as clever as she'd been led to believe. She heard the door close below her and smirked. The boys were home.

"Um, hello," a voice called from the door.

"Hello," she returned it politely but didn't turn to greet the man she knew to be John Watson. Her eyes continued to roam, and she turned, taking in the flat. It was a mess. The second set of footsteps reached the landing and stalled as well.

"Are you a client," John asked.

"No," Sherlock Holmes, the man Felicity wanted to see, stepped into the flat fully. "She's the woman who's been following us since Hyde Park."

"Very good," said Felicity even though she'd been following them long before that. Her eyes made their way to them but lingered on Sherlock. "You aren't as tall as I thought you'd be."

"Sorry to disappoint," Sherlock muttered. He was still on guard, but Felicity liked him like this. She stepped back and looked him over.

"How did you get in," John asked, and Felicity laughed.

"Too easily. You have no security at all. Interesting choice considering you let "clients" walk in off the street. You could be making millions by the way," she said.

"Who says we aren't," John countered, making Felicity and Sherlock give him a look.

"I says." She smiled, then perked up. "Oh! I forgot to mention I haven't touched your landlady. He says you're funny like that, attached to your landlady. Weird. And I made myself some tea, I hope you don't mind."

"Sorry, who are you," John looked between Felicity, who found a seat on the desk, crossing her legs, and his flatmate. Finally, Sherlock rolled his eyes.

"My brother is getting livelier with the people he sends to me, it seems," Sherlock scoffed.

"It seems that way," she repeated, appalled at the sentence. "Lord, you are quite daft in comparison to your brother."

"So you aren't with Mycroft," John asked yet another question. She looked at Sherlock, though.

"He can't shut up about you. But, and feel free to take this the wrong way, I don't get it," she said with a shrug as she thought back to the moment that brought her there. It had felt like her and James, and then everyone else for the longest. Then all of a sudden it was non stop detective talk. The last straw was James leaving his dinner with her to solidify some elaborate plan for an amateur detective in London.

"James, why are you still talking about this Holmes? He's not even the interesting one with all the secrets," Felicity asked her friend who had yet to stop talking about this man. James grabbed her chin and made her look at him.

"And yet he's more interesting than you," he said. "And I'm beginning to like him so. Much. More."

More interesting than her? No, she'd have to see it to believe it.

"I mean, you've got a bit of something and I see the appeal I suppose, but personally? I couldn't eat a whole one of you," Felicity continued. She looked him over once again and licked her mauve painted lips, ending in a wicked smile as realization meet disbelief in Sherlock's eyes.

"He?" John echoed then looked to his confidant.

"Moriarty," Sherlock clarified. John looked mortified in a moment.

"I forgot he lets the children call him that when they play," she mused then turned to John. "Would you like my gun?"

"What?" John looked at her in disbelief.

"I can see you thinking seriously stupid plans of attack in your head. Maybe having a gun would help you calm down, yeah?" She talked to the doctor as if it was his first day of pre-school.

"Why are you here," Sherlock asked, looking her over and trying to deduce things that weren't there: clues about his latest nemesis. She was a stylish woman with thick curly hair to her shoulders and golden brown skin. If she hadn't effectively stalked them, broke into their flat, and carried a weapon she could handle herself without, Sherlock would've thought she was a socialite.

"I just wanted to check out the man causing such a stir in these international waters." She shrugged then changed topics, "I've got a live-in too, by the way. She's called Lizbeth. Terrible name, lovely thighs," Felicity whispered the last part and added a dramatic wink.

"I'm not a pet." John folded his arms defiantly. Sherlock didn't bother disagreeing.

"He hasn't sent you, has he? Going rogue?"

"Every person you meet isn't under his thumb, boy genius. The fight to be the biggest baddest megalomaniac in the land is a vicious one. Lots of one-upping. You'd enjoy it." She looked at her watch and stood. "Well, this has been something, truly, but places to go, people to kill and all that."

Felicity left Baker Street in thought. James would not be happy with her meeting Sherlock before he did. But this did confirm her theory.

James was out of his mind with boredom.

#Sherlock BBC #sherlock holmes imagine #Sherlock imagine #John Watson #John watson Imagine #sherlock x reader #sherlock x oc #john x reader #john x oc #james moriarty #moriarty imagine #moriarty x reader #moriarty oc

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inevitably-johnlocked · 6 years ago

Note

Do you know any fics that have the angstiest angst to have ever angsted BUT a good ending (I don't think I can handle anything worse than a good one) You're lovely, by the way 😊💙

Anonymous said to inevitably-johnlocked: Hey boo, Do you have any recommendations for angst with a happy ending?? Thank you ! - 🤠

Hi Lovelies!!

Aww, thanks for your lovely comment, Nonny One!! Yeah, I love dying but then being happy at the end, and I can assure you I definitely have some fics for ya both!! I’ll use this opportunity to update one of my old related lists, then, since Nonny Two specifically asked for them!! I’ve a lot of new ones to add to it, anyway!

ANGST WITH HAPPY ENDING Pt. 2

See also:

Angst With a Happy Ending Pt. 1

Pining and Angst With Happy Endings Masterpost

Idiot by Anesthesiologist (T, 1,229 w. || Hurt/Comfort, Friendship, Alternate TGG / Explosion, BAMF John, Sherlock Whump, Inner Monologue, John Saves Sherlock, POV Sherlock) – What the heck happened? He remembered the pool and Moriarty, but then what? Had he been dying?

Things That You Can't Say Tomorrow Day by PsychGirl (T, 4,022 w. || Post S4, POV John, Cuddling / Snuggling, Hypothermia, Snowed In, Angst, Romance) – Things go horribly wrong while John and Sherlock are on a mission for Mycroft. Now they're out in the woods in the middle of winter with no coats and no shelter. However will they stay warm?

Bitter Nights Turned Sweet by Hyliare (T, 4,076 w. || Pre-Slash, Insomnia/Hallucinations, Emotional Hurt/Comfort, POV Present Tense John Watson, Cuddling/Snuggling) – Sherlock has always had trouble sleeping; he hasn't always had someone in his life willing to help.

How Will I Know? by eragon19 (E, 4,895 w. || Pining, Love Confessions, POV Sherlock, Fluff, Sherlock’s Imagination, Papa Lestrade) – Here was the problem: Sherlock Holmes was completely and irrevocably in love with John Watson, and he had absolutely no idea how to tell him.

The Refining Fire by Arwen Jade Kenobi (T, 5,451 w. || Post-TGG AU, Angst, Friendship, Alternating POV (Lestrade, Mycroft, Sherlock), Worried Sherlock, Hospital Recovery) – Fire can burn things to ashes, but it can also burn things together.

Welcome Home, John by slashscribe (G, 5,504 w. || Post-S3, Angst, Emotional Hurt/Comfort, Awkwardness, Stabbed Sherlock, Protective Sherlock, Panic Attack (Sherlock), Self Esteem Issues, Love Confessions, First Kiss) – When John moves back to 221B, he thinks he’s the broken one, but after a while, it becomes clear that he might not be correct.

Hide and Seek by Arwen Jade Kenobi (T, 6,934 w. || Angst, Rev. Reich-ish, Mycroft is a Dick, Depression, Case Fic-ish, Friendship, Reunion) – Pseudo sequel to "The Refining Fire." "You owe him the truth, and you owe me the proof that will convince him that I had no part in this."

Inconvenient Timing by TheMadKatter13 (M, 7,072 w. || Omegaverse || Omega John/Alpha Sherlock, Romance, Public Heat, Scared John, Protective / Worried / Possessive Sherlock, Post-TBB AU, Caring Sherlock, Pre-Slash, Happy Ending) – When John's heat failed to appear three times in a row after he was shot, he figured it was just another broken piece off the broken toy soldier. So he was rather surprised to feel it start out of the blue...and not at all pleased with it starting while he was on the tube.

A Friend Indeed by Sanru (K+, 8,190 w. || Missing John, Friendship, Drama, Introspection, Possessive Sherlock, Worried Sherlock) – Something has gone terribly wrong with a supposedly simple case. John Watson is missing. While the search for him is proving to be fruitless, it has made Sherlock realize that having an emotional attachment to someone may have its disadvantages but he liked being able to call John his friend. Now if only he could find out what happened to him...

Never Been This Swept Away by estalita11 (T, 8,531 w. || Post-TAB, Mary is Not Nice, Drug Use, First Kiss, Love Confessions) – Set immediately after TAB, Sherlock visits his brother to definitely not apologize about earlier and ends up finally learning a few things that would have been nice knowing about months ago. Mycroft never wants to deal with lovestruck idiots ever again.

Inked in Memory by 221b_hound (E, 9,716 w. || Post-HLV, Tattoos, First Kiss / Time, Anal, Cuddling, Scars, Captain John, Kissing, Switchlock) – John has been back at Baker Street for a year, following the debacle that ended in Mary's death. Things are good. Back almost to what they used to be. Sherlock might wish they were something else, now, but he only has himself to blame, he thinks. It's too late, now, for the things he first denied before he'd ruined any chances he might have had. Sherlock also thinks that people who get tattoos are idiots. But perhaps he's about to learn a thing or two, not least of which might be it's not as late as he thinks it is. Part 1 of Lock and Key

The Dying Doctor by Transcendental Starlight (T, 11,258 w. || Friendship, Hurt/Comfort, Sick John / John Whump, ACD Rewrite) – Loosely based off ACD's "The Dying Detective." Sherlock relives a case that should have killed him, but instead resulted in John being hospitalized for a deadly disease. Sherlock endeavors to catch the murderer, while attempting to envision a future without John Watson. No Slash.

I See You Through by belovedmuerto (T, 12,078 w. || Psychic AU || Empath John, Alternate TGG, Whump, Nightmares, Bedsharing, Slow Burn, Pre-Slash) –John has never asked Sherlock about his past, his childhood, the reason he quails in lonely misery almost every time he sees his brother. He’s never needed to. Part 2 of An Experiment in Empathy

A Building of Bridges by Unique (K, 12,325 w. || Drama, Alternate First Meeting, John’s PTSD / Flashbacks, Mute John, Dialogue-Heavy, Caring Sherlock, Friendship) – No one would ever send Sherlock in to diffuse a stand-off; but on one unlikely day, that's exactly what happened. "Congratulations, Lestrade," he called out sarcastically. "You're traumatizing a war veteran."

Sherlock's Head, John's Heart by Altego (T, 17,252 w. || Tragedy, Heavy Angst, Heavy Bromance, Sherlock’s Mind Palace, Mary is Nice, Friendship) – After Mary dies, John tries to cope, and Sherlock blames himself but tries to make John understand how important John is in his life.

Between Friends by SilentAuror (E, 18,036 w. || Post S3, Alternating POV, Friends to Lovers, John in Denial, Abduction, Awkward Situations / Miscommunications, Porn With Feels, Blowjobs, Pining, Unrequited, Angst With Happy Ending) – Sherlock gets abducted. As John discovers him tied up naked in an empty storage facility and comes to rescue him, Sherlock's body has an unfortunate reaction which triggers a series of events. John is convinced that everything will be fine as long as they never discuss it. Sherlock isn't as sure...

Uncharted Territory by J_Baillier (T, 19,603 w. || Dystopian Future / Black Mirror AU || Angst, Drama, Homophobia, Bisexuality, Technology, Humour, Romance, Near Future, Happy Ending) – The System puts people through a series of assigned relationships in order to determine who their Perfect Match is. John believes that it works; Sherlock really, really doesn't. One of them is probably going to be wrong.

whiskies neat by Ellipsical (E, 20,660 w. || Alternate First Meeting, POV Second Person Sherlock, Slow Burn, One Night Stand, Rimming, Blow Jobs, Anal, Soldier John, Crying, Emotional Lovemaking, Switchlock) – Home and hearth and whiskies neat, or, alternatively, Sherlock Holmes falls in love.

The dying Doctor by marylouleach (T, 21,168 w. || Hurt/Comfort, Friendship, John Whump) – Doctor Watson is gunned down in a dark alley after work, Sherlock wont rest until he finds the man responsible. Guilt riddles him when he realizes he could have prevented this.

26 Pieces by Lanning (E, 28,236 w. || H/C, Torture, First Time, Happy Ending, Schmoop) – Mycroft gives Sherlock the apparently simple task of solving a puzzle box containing a stolen microchip. It isn't simple.

Hellfire by testosterone_tea (E, 28,596 w. || Fantasy / Magic / Mages / Elementals AU || Mage Sherlock, Elemental John, Developing Relationship, Torture, Powerful / BAMF John, POV Alternating, Dark / Blood Magic, UST, First Kiss) – Sherlock is a Mage that gets involved with a case involving Dark Summoning rituals, leading him to John Watson, a man with Berserker blood. The only thing is, Berserkers have been extinct for centuries. And of course, nothing involving Mycroft and his interfering ways is ever simple. This time, even Sherlock may have bitten off more than he can chew.

To Mend Icarus by AlessNox (T, 29,186 w. || Post-TRF, Friendship, Drama, BAMF!John, Emotional Turmoil, Introspection, Harry is in this Fic, Angry John, Happy Ending, Queerplatonic Relationship) – After a case lands John Watson in court, he tells Sherlock that he is leaving. Not understanding why, Sherlock decides that the only way to learn the truth is to investigate his flatmate, Dr. John Watson. A revision of the story Mending Icarus.

The Wisteria Tree by SilentAuror (E, 29,773 w. || Post-S3, Emotional Love Making, Amnesia/Memory Loss, Sherlock Loves John So Much, Sherlock POV, Romance, Angst with Happy Ending, First Times, Hurt/Comfort, Est. Rel., Retirement) – Sherlock wakes up from a month-long coma only to discover that he has no memory of the previous six years to his own shock as well as John's...

Another Auld Lang Syne by DiscordantWords (M, 30,234 w. || Post S4, Mutual Pining, Alternating POV, Introspection, Parentlock, Christmas, New Year’s, First Kiss, Past Drug Use, Angst with Happy Ending, Drinking, Sherlock Whump) – There had been years of missed chances.

carrying up his morning tea by darcylindbergh (E, 34,504 w. || Post S3, Minor Character Death, Grief/Mourning, Wakes/Funerals, Estranged John, Pining Sherlock, Depression/Insecurity, Slow Burn, Emotional Hurt/Comfort, Chronic Pain/Injury, Reconciliation, Awkwardness, Loneliness, Scars, Angst With Happy Ending) – His fingers tremble as he dials and he can’t force them steady. Familiar number, even though he hasn’t used it in two years. He isn’t even sure he should be calling it now, but she’d asked. She’d made him promise.

Nothing to Make a Song About by emmagrant01 (E, 36,833 w. || Post-TRF, First Time, Reunion, Jealous John, Pining Sherlock, Romance, Angst with Happy Ending) – When Sherlock returned from his faked death, John could not forgive him for the deception and broke off their friendship. Ten years later, John returns to London in search of yet another new beginning. Sherlock, not surprisingly, is waiting.

The Unfinished Letters by SilentAuror (E, 37,391 w. || Post S3 / S3 / HLV Fix it, Angst with Happy Ending, Romance, Infidelity, Depression, Case Fic, POV Third Person Sherlock, Love Confessions, Pining Sherlock, Letters) – A fire at Baker Street leads John to read something he was never intended to see: a notebook of half-written, unfinished letters Sherlock wrote during his time away...

Turn Left at the Park by Glenmore (NR (E), 37,409 w. || Alternate First Meeting / ASiP Divergence, Case Fic, Depression, Suicidal Ideation, Loneliness, No Mary, Possessive Sherlock, Fluff & Angst, Nightmares/PTSD, Sherlock Saves John, Sherlock Whump-ish, Doctor John) – So what would have happened if John hadn't walked through the park and met Stamford?What if, instead, he walked around the park and just went home?

Act IV by SilentAuror (E, 39,707 w. || First Person POV Sherlock, HLV Fix-It, Indifelity, Angst, Drama) – After Sherlock is shot, John moves back into Baker Street. They spend the autumn together as John tries to make sense of his life and make some important decisions about both Mary and Sherlock. Canon-compliant, excerpts from His Last Vow.

(Never) Turn Your Back to the Sea by DiscordantWords (M, 39,968 w. || Post S4 Fix It || Grief / Mourning, Victor Trevor, Friendship, Sherlock is Not Okay, Nightmares/Flashbacks/Panic Attacks, Parentlock, Pining Sherlock, Angst with Happy Ending, John Comes Home) – Baker Street is very much the same. Only different. And Sherlock is just trying not to drown.

In the Still of the Night by SilentAuror (E, 42,234 w. || S4 Fix It / Post-S4, Sherlock POV, Angst, Drama, Romance, Virgin Sherlock, Awkwardness, Misunderstandings / Miscommunications, Case Fic, Travelling, Pining) – As locals on the Northeastern coast begin to report UFO sightings, life at Baker Street becomes significantly awkward as John brings up his desire for more than friendship and Sherlock refuses him. They embark on the investigation from the confines of the tiny cottage Mycroft has rented for them, attempting to navigate both the clues of the case as well as their own inability to communicate...

Sentenced by SarahKnight (T, 44,777 w. || Dev. Rel., Alternate S4 Canon, Drama, Angst, Pining, Feelings are Hard) – Virtual series 4 opener. Sherlock's in prison being targeted by a murderer, John's married to a pregnant assassin and Moriarty's back.

The Real Great Perfumers by shelleysprometheus (E, 45,355 w. || Case Fic, Alternating POV, Gay Sherlock / Bi John, Canon Compliant with Divergence at TRF, Friends to Lovers, Oral / Anal, Pining, First Kiss / Time, Dev. Rel., Drugging, Body Worship, Bathing, Love Confessions, Travelling, Bottomlock, Cranky Sherlock, BJ’s, Alternating POV, Jealous John) – The case, this case. This extraordinary, fascinating, scintillating case. A house. Designed entirely by its eccentric owner, built by no less than five hundred expert tradesmen in the heart of Marrakesh. A house that had, seemingly not only driven its owner out, but also to his quite unpleasant death. And a perfumer, a chemist no less, the very thought of the secrets that house could reveal, would reveal was irresistible. Sherlock had to have this case ... and it seems, he also had to have John! Part 1 of the Forethought and Fire series

Coventry by standbygo (E, 52,020 w. || Dollhouse AU || Case Fic, Slow Burn, Sci-Fi / Fantasy, First Kiss / Time, Attempted Rape, BAMF John) – “Let me get this straight,” John said, wondering when his life had become a science fiction film. “Some guy orders up a personality, a person, to his specifications, and they program this into a real live person, who has consented to do this, and she goes to this person and acts as his wife, or lawyer, or Royal Marine, or Navy Seal or what have you, and she has all the skills, all the knowledge, everything? Then you say the magic words, and she follows you back to The House, and they erase it all until her next appointment?”

A Hundred Crimson Sols by elldotsee (E, 55,536 w. || Astronauts AU || Mars Exploration / Space Travel, Slow Burn, Shy Sherlock, Scientist Sherlock / Biomed Engineer John, Alternating POV, Mutual Pining, UST, Angst with Happy Ending, Domestic Fluff, Hurt/Comfort, Injuries, Suicidal Ideation, Zero-G Sex) – Will Holmes is a chemical researcher recognized widely for his contributions to the new Mars exploration program. Thanks to his ground-breaking developments, the IMMC (International Mars Mission Corporation) is one step closer to Martian colonization. Will and his team of scientists are headed out on the first of three manned missions before the first group of settlers arrive. Three days before launch, one of the crew has to be replaced. Will panics because...new people. The replacement is of course one John Watson, biomedical engineer and space hottie who was pretty sure he had retired from actual space exploration and was now content to work in the nice, quiet research lab. Can the crew survive this TOTALLY ROUTINE trip? Will they be able to endure each other for the looooooong trip in close quarters? Gonna be a wild ride... prepare for blast off. Part 1 of the SpaceBois go to Space series

The Thing Is by TSylvestris (E, 56,743 w. || Case Fic, Dev. Rel., Anal/Oral, Blow Jobs, Meddling Mycroft, Drama, Romance, Humour, Casual Encounters, Pining Idiots, Possessive Sherlock, Orgasm Delay, Rough / Alley Sex, Public Sex, John Whump, Drugged John, Emotional Love Making, Awkward Relationship, Marriage of Convenience, Switchlock) – The problem with living with Sherlock, John thought, was that you never, never, ever knew the significance of anything. Like your flatmate's nose buried in your hair. Whilst you're in bed. Part 1 of Nitroglycerine

One Little Change by jadztone (E, 58,312 w. || ASiB Divergence, Fake Relationship, Bed Sharing, Mutual Pining, Friends to Lovers, First Kiss / Time, Anal Sex, Blow Jobs, Bi John / Gay Demisexual Sherlock, Switchlock, Alternating POV, Jealousy, Misunderstandings, Case Fic, Angst with Happy Ending, Emotional Love Making, Butt Plugs, Cuddles) – Our story begins right after John and Sherlock's first meeting with Irene Adler in September. It splits off into an AU that imagines them taking a case where they act as bait to hook a killer targeting closeted gays in secret relationships. In the weeks leading up to Christmas, many things happen that have our boys wondering if maybe they have a chance with each other. Then Irene fakes her death on Christmas Eve, and things get a lot more complicated - especially since they still have a killer to catch.

floating through a dark blue sky by Lediona (M, 58,966 w. || Notting Hilll AU || POV John, Celebrity Sherlock, First Date / Time / Kiss, Past Drug Addiction, Angst with a Happy Ending) – Of course, I’d seen his films and always thought he was, well, brilliant -- but, you know, a million miles from the world I live in. Or, when John is the owner of a travel book shop and the famous Sherlock Holmes stops in one day.

The Burning by SrebrnaFH (M, 60,658 w. || Reverse Reichenbach, Suicide, Depression, Hurt Sherlock / John, Separation, BAMF John, Good Big Brother Mycroft, Angst, Implied/Referenced Torture, Fake Character Death, Rescue Mission, Reconciliation / Reunion, Hospitalization, Marriage Proposal, Illnesses, Physical Therapy, Happily Ever After) – Something went very, very wrong. John had seemed, if not happy, then reasonably content with his life. Sherlock had never predicted something like THIS might have happened. Not in his worst nightmares. He was the lousiest friend ever, apparently. At least Mycroft found him something to occupy his mind with, so that he didn't have to go back to 221B and stare at the walls and the chair, where John Watson would never sit again.

An Experiment in Empathy by belovedmuerto (T, 62,397 w. across 13 stories || Empath AU || Psychic John, Psychic-by-Proxy Sherlock, Empathy, Psychic Bond, Romance / Bromance) – In which John is an empath, Sherlock is Sherlock, and an epic bromance happens. In the aftermath of The Great Game, John creates an unexpected bond between himself and Sherlock. Now they have to learn how to deal with it. John is better at this than Sherlock is.

This Thing All Things Devours by cypress_tree (E, 63,844 w. || In Time AU || Science Fiction, Dystopian Universe, First Meetings, Action / Adventure, Romance) – In 2169, time is money—literally. Humans are genetically engineered to stop aging at 25, when the numbers on their arm start counting down from one year. When that time is up, they die. The only way to get more time is to earn it, borrow it, or steal it.John Watson lives day-to-day in the crowded slums of Zone 13. He never imagined living any differently—until he meets the practically-immortal Sherlock, and helps him on a case to track a local time-thief...

The Bells of King's College by SilentAuror (E, 64,019 w. || Post-S4, Missed Opportunities, Angst with Happy Ending, Fake Relationship, Case Fic, John POV, Jealous John, John in Denial, Travelling / Holidays, Virgin Sherlock, Wedding Proposals) – It's only been two weeks since Eurus Holmes disrupted their lives when Mycroft sends John and Sherlock to Cambridge to pose as an engaged couple at a wedding show in the hopes of solving six unsolved deaths...

The Vapor Variant by 88thParallel (CanadaHolm) (M, 72,684 w. || Post-THoB, John Whump, Protective Sherlock, Guilty Sherlock, Anxious/Worried Sherlock, Virgin Sherlock, Angst with Happy Ending, Hurt/Comfort, PTSD John, Slow Burn, Mutual Pining, Suspense, Virus, Sickfic, Big Brother Mycroft) – They stood face to face in the middle of a clearing. The dim light of the moon barely allowed Sherlock to see the glassy terror in John’s eyes and the sweat that glistened off his forehead. His nose was bleeding again, blood dripping in a slow stream from his right nostril. They were both gasping for air, John’s eyes locked on Sherlock’s. There was no recognition there, just wild animal fear. Time stood still for an eternal few seconds, and Sherlock took a shaky breath. “John—”Spell broken, John spun and bolted back into the woods. Still heaving for air, Sherlock took off after him.

31_Days_of_Porn_Challenge_2017 Series by distantstarlight (E, 96,540 w. across 31 stories || Prompt Ficlets, Assorted Kinks, PWP) – A collection in response to the 31 Days of Porn Challenge issued by AtlinMerrik! Thanks for doing that because this has been buttload of fun (that joke never gets old). All stories will be brief stand-alone one-shots.

Two Two One Bravo Baker by abundantlyqueer (E, 114,574 w. || Military AU || Afghanistan, War Story, Thriller) – Captain John Watson of 40 Commando, the Royal Marines, is assigned to protect and assist Sherlock Holmes as he investigates what appears to be a simple war atrocity in Afghanistan. An intense attraction ignites between the two men as they uncover a conspiracy that threatens everything they’ve ever known, but Sherlock is as much hunted as hunter, and everyone close to him is in deadly danger. Can he solve the case in time to save himself and John? Part 1 of Two Two One Bravo Baker Universe

To Light Another's Path by BeautifulFiction (E, 128,654 w. || Post-TGG, Sick Fic, Hurt/Comfort, Drug Addiction / Recreational Drug Use, First Time / Kiss, Case Fic) – Teaching John to observe seems to be a losing battle, but when Sherlock falls ill and submits himself to John's care, will he realise that there is more to life than the science of deduction? Meanwhile, there is a murder to solve, and John must try and convince Sherlock not to sacrifice his own health for the sake of the case.

Gimme Shelter by SinceWhenDoYouCallMe_John (E, 159,368 w. || 70′s Surfer AU || Period Typical Homophobia, Hawaii, Enemies to Friends to Lovers, Professional Surfers, Gay John / Sherlock, Angst with Happy Ending, John was a Sailor, Misunderstandings) – All John Watson wants is the feeling of a freshly waxed surfboard under his feet and the hot California sun baking down onto his back. To finally go pro in the newly formed world of professional surfing and leave the dark memories of his past behind him as he rips across the face of a towering blue barrel. To lounge beside the beach bonfire every evening with an ice cold beer tucked into the cool sand beside him and listen to Pink Floyd and the Doors while the saltwater dries in his sun bleached hair. That's all he wants, that is, until the hot young phenom taking Oahu and the Hawaiian shores by storm steps up next to him in the sand in the second round of the 1976 International Surf Competition.

#steph replies #johnlock fic recs #my fic recs #angst with happy ending #Anonymous #long post #fic rec sunday #angst fics #angst

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elizadoolittlethings · 5 years ago

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MG - The Man Behind The Genius

(via Get Ready to Love Mark Gatiss)

“Can we just sit here and watch this Spider-Man cartoon?” Mark Gatiss smiles slyly but it’s not clear if he’s completely kidding. We’re sitting on a couch in The Museum of the Moving Image in Queens, New York where a small retro-TV is playing an appropriately retro episode of Spider-Man and His Amazing Friends. “I love cartoons,” Gatiss tells me. “Did you ever see the old Star Trek cartoon? It’s brilliant. It’s basically like season four.”

The guy sitting next to me might look like Mycroft Holmes, but he barely sounds like him at all. This guy is softer, more childlike, more down to talk about whatever, so long as those things are James Bond, Sherlock Holmes, Doctor Who, superheroes, Star Trek… In short, if you meet Mark Gatiss, you want to be best friends with him instantly.

For the uninitiated: Mark Gatiss is the co-creator (with Steven Moffat) of Sherlock. He’s also an actor IN Sherlock as Mycroft Holmes, Sherlock’s snippy, brilliant older brother. He’s written for Doctor Who numerous times, including last season’s “Robots of Sherwood,” as well as the classic Dickens 2005 episode “The Unquiet Dead.” He’s got a recurring role on Game of Thrones as Tycho Nestoris of the Iron Bank, but has roots in the famous British comedy The League of Gentlemen. In short: he’s done some things that are beyond impressive.

Our chat is talking place two hours ahead of The Museum of the Moving Image’s special screening of the Doctor Who episode “Sleep No More,” which is the one Mark wrote for this season. And yes, I can call him Mark, because he told me to. Glancing over at my open-notebook, full of my chicken-scratch questions, he spies the word “Gatiss,” at the top of the page complete with a frantic double underline. “Don’t say ‘Moffat’ or ‘Gatiss,’” he coos. “Say ‘Mark.’”

To say Mark Gatiss is disarming would be an understatement similar to saying Sherlock Holmes is smart. It’s not that Mark is disarming, it’s like you and he have been exchanging dog-eared paperbacks for years and this conversation about the animated Star Trek from the 70s is old hat. After we talk about how great the writing is on that cartoon Trek, I ask him if he’d ever want to write for Star Trek.

“The new series?!!“I love Star Trek, so yeah, I wouldn’t say no. Simon Pegg’s writing the new one [Star Trek Beyond]. So yeah. You never know!”

Is there anything else—any other established universe—Mark Gatiss would like to write for other than Star Trek?

“Nooo…No. I want to do something new. But it’s so hard to get it off the ground. I’ve said this many times, and it’s absolutely true. That there is a reason why people revisit brands that are so familiar; it’s because they’re so familiar! And it’s getting harder and harder to try and convince people to take a punt at something new. So, that is absolutely vital. Otherwise, there’s no blood in it—and I say this knowing that I’m associated with two of the biggest reboots in history—and people will always revisit Sherlock Holmes. And I think that now that Doctor Who has really returned after its absence, Doctor Who is imperishable. It will probably stop again one day and then come back again, because that’s what it does. Like anything. But, I would love to do something that people look back on fondly, because it was a brand new thing. But it’s terribly difficult—A. to think of it! B. To get it off the ground. What is the new thing! Sherlock Holmes himself said there is nothing new under the sun!”

What if Steven Moffat left Doctor Who? Would Mark still write for Doctor Who?

“Of course I’d still write for Doctor Who! If they’d have me! It’s a continuing honor and thrill! I would say that unlike Russell [Davies] saying ‘that’s me, done,’ I think that if Steven were to leave, he’d still come back after a few years and do another one. Because he loves it. I mean, Russell loves it too! But, I think Russell saw it as his take on it and that was it. Which is a very grown-up way of moving on. But I can’t resist the urge.”

When you’re hanging with Mark Gatiss, who wants to be a grown up anyway?

Would Mark want to be the showrunner of Doctor Who if Steven Moffat left?

“The truth is I know how incredibly demanding it is. And one of things that makes it very difficult to see is the sort of casual attacks Steven has had to put up with over the past few years. It’s incredibly hard work and they care so much. It’s a 24 hour job. And when people say ‘why can’t you make more episodes!?’ I mean, the episode we’re watching tonight: I was sent the final effect shot the day before I left for New York. That episode is just complete and it’s on this Saturday. There are so many things to consider. But to answer your question, I know how hugely demanding [showrunning] is, but also how hugely rewarding it would be. It’s a huge, life-changing decision. I’m an actor and a writer. I couldn’t act if I did it. Because I wouldn’t have time. The only thing I could act in would possibly be Doctor Who. WAIT A MINUTE! I’ll DO IT!”

At this, Mark begins giggling like a madman, throwing his head back and repeating “I’ll do it! This will effect my whole life? HA HA HA HA! I’LL DO IT!!”

The comedian, the sketch-comedy writer version of Mark Gatiss has emerged! Fittingly, we switch our conversation to the importance of humor in his writing. How and why is he just so damn funny? Is Doctor Who and Sherlock nothing without humor?

“Humor is fundamental. I couldn’t agree with you more. There’s a fundamental misunderstanding of why we love these shows. Essentially from slightly humorless people who thinks it needs to be po-faced all the time. The man who created the Daleks—Terry Nation—was Tony Hancok’s writer. He was a very, very funny man who could also write great science fiction. That’s what Russell is. That’s what Steven is. What I am. Lots of people. Humor is bound-up in the DNA of [Doctor Who]. ‘Robots of Sherwood,’ for instance, is a straightforward romp. But, you should no more criticize a show for being too funny—what’s wrong with too funny, anyway? You hear that a lot. Someone says ‘it’s too funny.’ WHAT? Too funny? Would your prefer it was moderately funny? I’d go for much too funny any day. That doesn’t mean you’re messing with the format, that you’re spoiling it. And if you look back at the history of the show, that’s what it’s always been at its best. It doesn’t get much grimmer than “Genesis of the Daleks.” But of course there’s humor. Of course there is. It might be pitch black, but it’s there. And sometimes the level is pitched one way and sometimes the other. But to me, it’s absolutely quintessential to Doctor Who, it’s a fun show.”

Though I would have loved to talk to Mark for hours only about Sherlock Holmes and his favorite stories and which movies are his personally, secret preferences, I decide that since we’re already best friends, we’ve had that conversation in some alternate world. Instead, I’m interested in continuity. Sir Arthur Conan Doyle flippantly didn’t care about continuity. Does Mark Gatiss care about continuity?

“Because we live in such an overly-examined age, in which everything is easily consumed and spat-out, everything has taken on a ludicrous level of importance. If Conan Doyle hadn’t had his famously lax attitude toward continuity, we wouldn’t be able to have the fun we have. From speculating on the strange fact that Professor Moriarty and his brother have the same Christian name, that Watson’s war-wound moves about, that Mary calls John “James”! I’m sure people did write to [Doyle] and complain, because there were always fans! But the thing is, it’s fine. My attitude is this: get it right if you can because if you’re perversely getting it wrong, it looks careless. But. Absolutely frankly: if someone came up with an idea for Doctor Who that flatly contradicted something that happened in 1967, fuck it. Of course fuck it! Someone once said to me ‘six months ago is ancient history,’ in terms of television. That’s true, because you’re talking about the general audience and not the fan audience. AND if you flatly contradicted something that happened in 1967, the fans would find a way of explaining it. I remember—in talking about Star Trek—someone telling me that reason William Shatner has so much eye shadow on in “Journey to Babel”—more than ever—is because Star Fleet officers are allowed to wear a certain amount of make-up during formal ceremonies! WHAT?!! I mean you don’t have to explain it! The Master was a snake at one point!”

Looking smooth, and talking smooth are something Mark Gatiss knows how to do, and that’s partially because he’s a big Bond fan. Could secret government mastermind Mycroft exist in the Bond universe?

“He does exist in the Bond universe! We made an explicit reference. In ‘His Last Vow,’ I say ‘As my esteemed colleague is fond of pointing out, what the country needs sometimes is a blunt instrument. Which is M! From the books! And of course I’d love to write a Bond film. It’s the one that’s eluded me. Me and Steven we both wanted to do Bond. I did From Russian With Love on radio!”

As our time comes creeping up on us, and the Spider-Man cartoon winds down, I ask Mark if there’s a world for a gay Bond? What about a straight Sherlock? The last one gets a guttural laugh from him, and we launch into the territory of diversity among established characters and fandoms.

“The point is to me, none of these things should be done because anyone feels pressure to tick a box. A show like Doctor Who has brilliantly celebrated gay people, incidentally, which to me is proper progress. But I think personally, there should absolutely be a female Doctor, a black Doctor, an Asian Doctor, but it’s because someone comes along who is absolutely indisputably the person for the job. With James Bond, it’s a literary antecedent. If you were for reasons of box-ticking made James Bond gay, that’s not James Bond. By all means have a gay spy! I’ve written about one myself! [Mark’s Lucifer Box novels] If you want to do a gay British Spy, adapt my books! That’s my advice. Do a franchise based on my books!”

Will Mark Gatiss fulfill his dreams of creating the next “new” thing that we will all love and obsess over? What is the future for our beloved Doctor Who/Sherlock writer? In addition to a film, more Doctor Who and the three new Sherlocks, that is. What is Mark’s secret project he hasn’t talked about yet?

At this he narrows his eyes, pats my leg and says with a Mycroft twinkle and almost a sneer:

“Can’t talk about it.”

Mark’s Doctor Who episode “Sleep No More” airs this Saturday.

#MG #mark gatiss #interview #all things MG

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johnlockficclub · 6 years ago

Text

Clearing up the Fog

And so we have reached the end of the Darkling, I Listen journey. The fog has been cleared and we have our happy ending.

Even at the end there were some things that we found confusing, such as when John and Sherlock met the first time. Was that real? Was the memory corrupted? What are those gloves? The fog is what now?

Was the drowning real?

@elwinglyre I'm pretty sure John rescuing Sherlock happened. He says to John that he forgot the first time they met.

What was up with Sherlock’s eyes?

@inevitably-johnlocked I think he gave them to the fog so he could see all

so like it was his payment

@elwinglyre His eyes we taken. He exchanged them to "see everything."

@ewebie It makes the idea of seeing but not observing rather... unique

@spenglernot Just want to clarify that that I found Sherlock giving up his eyes so devastating because He did it of his own free will. Such a short-sighted choice (no pun intended).

So Sherlock’s wolf form was his gift?

@yorkiepug And the whole wolf/beast was Sherlock's "gift"?

He didn't seem too bothered by it

@yorkiepug John didn't either, maybe John has a wolf kink

@sherlock-nanowrimo lol I was thinking the same thing

@ewebie Sherlock's fursona is the beast

@travelingwithoutthedoctor Yeah, apparently that was Sherlock’s gift ‍

We were proud that Molly stood up and took care of Moriarty!

@astudyinsnoggy However- Molly!

Go girl!

Does Sherlock actually care?

@yorkiepug But if he stopped time so Moriarty wouldn't win, he obviously does care

@travelingwithoutthedoctor But also he didn’t care about anyone or anything else

Honestly, we’re still a little confused about the fog.

@sherlock-nanowrimo The impression I got was that there were two fogs - Sherlock's and Moriarty's, and that was why the fog behaved differently from time to time - there were two fogs.

@sherlock-nanowrimo The thing that was a bit confusing about the fogs was the thoughts of the fog occupying John. It seemed to not care that it wasn't part of Moriarty anymore now that it had a new thing to play with. and Moran's allegiance was to the fog, not Moriarty.

@spenglernot The gifts always seem to be a blessing and a curse, just as the bargain witches make with the fog. I interpreted the fog as independent: elemental evil or chaos or both. The witches seek its power, and pay a terrible price to get it. The fog empowers and affects them in ways that diminish them in some ways. They cede an essential part of themselves. The fog imbibes part of the witches, which also affects the fog. There is an ongoing rebalancing, a volitile symbyosis, if you will. Human gifts seem similar, but on a much smaller scale.

What was John’s curse? What was his gift?

@yorkeipug But WHAT is the curse?? He obviously had a thing for danger before he met Sherlock, so what did Sherlock curse him with?

@inevitably-johnlocked Yeah I didn't get what the curse was

@sherlock-nanowrimo Ooooh, maybe the curse was John's gift of healing. Remember how his gift seemed different because he would whisper to the people he was healing

@sherlock-nanowrimo And people were disturbed by it? Maybe he had some other gift, but it was never discovered because Sherlock gave him this gift of healing that took bits of John's life from him whenever he did it. It makes sense because John had felt compelled to save Sherlock, so Sherlock knows that John has a savior complex and would use this gift even if it harmed himself.

@sherlock-nanowrimo It would be funny if John's real gift was his danger boner.

@sherlock-nanowrimo Speaking of danger boner, one of my notes was “Harry always said John had shit instincts when it came to danger” Oh, I’d say his instincts are good.

What is up with those gloves?

@yorkiepug And, so does poor John now have to wear the gloves all the time forever? I mean, they ARE a part of sherlock, its kinda romantic

@elwinglyre Sherlock's gloves keep John safe.

@spenglernot I think if he wants to not hear the fog, yes. It’s a terrible price, like everything else. Wonderful that he can keep the gloves off when Sherlock is a wolf, though. Small moments of comfort.

@astudyinsnoggy Ooh he has to resist the fog all the time

So, is Anthea a witch or what?

@inevitably-johnlocked Also, it was implied that Anthea was a good witch, right? Okay, because she knew how to defeat the demons and had access to witch blood

@yorkiepug I got the impression she was the one who gave some blood to their weapons because she's a witch

@astudyinsnoggy I didn’t even think! That makes sense! That’s why all her weapons worked

John’s acceptance of Sherlock, that was the whole bet!

@yorkiepug BUT HEY how fast did those two boys get attached to each other. John was in Old London for what, a few days, and he's totally accepting of Sherlock, The Beast, the selling out London for a bet etc etc

@sherlock-nanowrimo I think his acceptance of Sherlock as a beast and as blind is all part of the fact that they are always destined to be together. Like, whatever reality they are in, they accept each other and are drawn to each other.

@astudyinsnoggy Ok but when he did kiss the eye holes though That was so intimate!

Poor boys, they just both wanted to be accepted/needed

@astudyinsnoggy He never needed anyone before

@yorkiepug I feel like no one has every really needed John other than his healing gift in a long time

@astudyinsnoggy Right, sandy! He just needs John! Not his gift

@yorkiepug John was always a tool, but Sherlock actually needs and wants John for HIM

@sherlock-nanowrimo That was what Moriarty was trying to taunt him with in the mind palace - saying that Sherlock didn't need him.

@astudyinsnoggy Sherlock saying “I need you” That really got me.

Well said!

@spenglernot The whole story in a way is about the darkness inside and what we choose to do or not do with it. Perhaps why it is at once so bleak and so compelling.

Thank you all for joining us for this amazing fic, perfect just before Halloween! We had many great conversations about this story. Remember if you have questions for the author you can send them to the fic club, @yorkiepug or @lediona25 and we can forward them on to the author for answers since they won’t be able to make a chat with us.

Thanks again and we’ll see you all for the next fic!

#Johnlock fic club #darkling I listen

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jamlocked · 6 years ago

Note

For the identity ask thing: 2, 6, 15 :)

2. have you ever found a writer who thinks just like you? if so, who?

Uhhhh…hmm. I think there’s a reason I’ve lived on a steady diet of Terry Pratchett since I first read Reaper Man at age ten. But then, the very fact I start reading him young could mean that he influence the way I thought, rather than just resonating with how I thought already. Either way, a pretty bloody good worldview to identify with.

I also have to shout out to @summeringminor here; we might differ in the odd Jim Moriarty headcanon, but we’re both pretty much here for the beauty of pain and suffering. :D

6. are you religious/spiritual?

In a word…yeah. I guess. I would not call myself religious at all, though I grew up going to church most weeks. The older I’ve got, the more anti-organised religion I’ve become. Hard not to be, when you start seeing the things people do and say while using God as an excuse. But I also can’t deny that I’ve known many, many wonderful people who are religious and use that faith to do great, helpful, caring things. I will also never tell anyone they’re wrong to believe what they believe, as long as they’re not hurting anyone else with those beliefs.

As for me, personally - well, I’m not an aetheist, lets put it that way. It’s complicated, in that no one ever really knows, but really simple in that I have no trouble believing in a higher power. And it may just be humans and our collective power, but if so there’s no truer God than that.

15. five most influential books over your lifetime.

…oh man. What a question. GAH.

Okay, well, I’m just going to pick five that have stood out at different points in my life because otherwise I will have a shortlist of hundreds.

Good Omens - Terry Pratchett and Neil Gaiman.

I must have read this a dozen times when I was a teenager. I used to get to the end of it, then go right back and start it over again. I think it was the first book that made me think about religion, and the way it is in the world. I think I was about eleven when I read it first, which was also the age I was both confirmed, and stopped going to church. Reading Good Omens made me think about religion outside the confines of organised religion, and massively expanded my horizons.

It - Stephen King.

I was also a teenager when I read this. I think books are usually the most influential when you’re that age, probably? Anyway, I think I was thirteen. There had been lots of books - every book, practically; I used to read one a day - that I just couldn’t stop until I’d finished. But this is the first one I clearly remember not wanting to finish. It scared the everloving shit out of me, but it sucked me into a world that was so fully realised, both on the page and in my head, that I just couldn’t get out of it. That was the first horror book I read, the first Stephen King, and it opened my eyes to a whole new kind of fiction. I’d read a multitude of kid’s books, and Enid Blyton, and I’ve mentioned my early love of Terry Pratchett. I’d also devoured a good chunk of the classics by that age (I counted Far From the Madding Crowd as my favourite book) - but this was something new. I read a ton of SK after that, but none quite held the magic of It.

Unnamed kid’s story/author unknown

Okay, so, in primary school you get set reading books for your age, et cetera, and when you get through those you’re allowed to be a ‘free reader’ - or that’s how it was when I was that age, idk. So anyway, I blazed through all the set stuff, and once I had the freedom of the library, I picked up this random book of short stories one afternoon. They were age-appropriate, of course, and this one story was about a group of kids who built their own go-karts, and had a massive race with them. Maybe once a year, maybe more often, idk. So of course, there was one kid who was better than all of them, won every time, built his own kart and no one could beat him et cetera. I strapped in for the usual kid’s fare of a new pretender showing up, and either taking the crown, or this kid - who I think was called Billy - overcoming the odds to win again. It was told from the POV of another kid, who also raced but couldn’t touch Billy. And Billy seemed like a decent guy, he wasn’t a bully or anything.

So anyway, blah blah, they built their karts, they had the race. All was as expected. And then…a car showed up. Billy and New Pretender were neck and neck at the finish line, everyone’s screaming and cheering, and…Billy crashes into the car. God, I can still remember my shock, and how I jumped from ‘this is exciting, but normal’ to ‘omg, wtf is happening.’ But I also remember thinking, ‘but he won, and he’ll be fine.’ And the reason I remember it all so clearly is because…well, here’s Billy’s final words. ‘No, I didn’t. I lost.’

Someone told him that he won the race. But he didn’t, and then he hit the car, and then he died. And he died knowing he’d been beaten.

Like…I was young when I read this, about eight. Maybe younger. The notion that the focus of a story could not win and then actually die…I was not prepared for that. It stuck with me as the first real idea that things don’t always turn out the way you think. Good guys don’t always win, you don’t always achieve the things you think you will. A pretty hard lesson for a primary schooler, but it made me think about things in a different way from then on.

Zen and the Art of Motorcycle Maintenance - Robert M. Pirsig

Moving on from childhood…this book. Fuck, man, this book. I was 21 or 22 when I read it, and I‘m not even going to talk too much about about it because I can’t remember the details. There’s too much in it to try and explain anyway. But I remember reading it because my best mate recced it, and it didn’t seem very promising at first. And then I got sucked in, and I just could not stop. It’s semi-autobiographical, it’s about a road trip a man is taking with his son, it’s all about philosophy and self, and then mental illness, and…God. There wasn’t a single page that didn’t make me think. It made me start a course in philosophy. It was just a wonderful experience from start to finish, and I’ve never read it since because I don’t want to break that magic. But I will read it again. I’m going to find free time, and indulge myself fully. It was just that good.

sdlfkj I really can’t pick a fifth and I’m rambling on forever, so I’m going to go for a really simple and obvious choice.

The Hobbit - J. R. R. Tolkein

My dad gave my sister a copy of this when I was ten, and she was thirteen. I remember thinking how grown up it looked because it was all black and had a dragon on the front. By the time I was twelve I had nicked it off her bookshelf, and I don’t think she ever got it back. It’s another one I read endlessly through my teen years, and it was influential because it my first introduction to that type of fantasy. I couldn’t tell you exactly why Tolkein’s fantasy feels different to Pratchett’s - maybe it’s just more Old Worlde, and of course the writing style is more old-fashioned. It just felt more highbrow, less ‘fun’, but just as enjoyable. It was like travelling back in time, as well as to a different world. I massively preferred the Discworld to Middle Earth - and still do - but I remember loving The Hobbit for its introduction to something I’d never come across before. And when I wrote my first fantasy story when I was about fifteen, it was a perfectly terrible mish-mash of pterry’s satirical style and Tolkien’s highbrow backdrop (and I am serious when I say it was terrible. It was terrible). But any time I think of books that have influenced me and what I like, what I use as a touchstone, what I think of fondly - The Hobbit is always among the first that springs to mind.

(I re-read it a couple of years ago, and was struck by how simplistic and childlike it seemed. Inevitable, given I’m so much older and have read so much more now. But it doesn’t diminish the fond memories I have of that first love for it.)

I AM SORRY FOR RAMBLING ON FOREVER. Me and books, idk. But thanks for the ask. :)

#all about meme #books #ask meme #SORRY

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theabominableblogger · 6 years ago

Text

Rewatching “Gotham” S4E21

*cue both of us with lots of yelling, reacting to frighting imagery, and just being done with everyone*

My sister watched it with me (as well as the other episodes left in my epic “Gotham” reaction series) so my comments will be in bold, and hers will be in regular font. Author’s notes courtesy of me will be bolded and italicized.

AN: I managed to record our reactions to this episode and hopefully I can transcribe what I said into this post.

Sooo... to break your heart, Ecco is not in the rest of the episodes.

Noooooo...

But they [ the writers] explain like why she wasn’t there. They kinda explain that they still wanted to go into the Jeremiah and Bruce story line and finish that.

Ohhhh OK.

They wanted to finish that before they got into the whole [Jeremiah and Ecco dynamic]. Plus, basically what they established is that Jeremiah just wanted her to get out of the way so that he could do his plan and he’s like “OK, then we’re gonna do some shit!”

Sounds fair.

And I’m like “OK! You gotta look out for your boo first!”

‘Look out for your boo,’ I love it.

“Sources tell us Captain James Gordon was at the scene and is missing and feared dead.” Nope!

“I [Lucius] just got off the phone with Search and Rescue. Whatever blew Jeremiah's bunker was catastrophic.” *eyes widen in shock*

“I [Harvey] want CSIs out there pronto, and I want everyone looking for Jeremiah Valeska and Bruce Wayne.” You don’t wanna go looking for him [Jeremiah].

*softly* Nooooo don’t.

“Jim trusts him [Harvey], okay? So everybody get back to work.” Thank you, Harper! MVP!

*Harvey finds Jeremiah waiting outside the precinct* Oh shit!

Whaaa... how?!? What was the time span between these two episodes?

I don’t know...

‘Cause you would think it’s immediate!

Oh I love his [Jeremiah’s] coat!

Uggh. Look at the hat! The glasses!

I love that entire look.

I like the natural lighting too for this scene

“JEREMIAH! JEREMIAH!” Jesus God, he turned them all into stormtroopers!

Ohhhh that’s a great shot [the wide shot of Jeremiah vs the GCPD]

What voice are you [Jeremiah] doing?

It sounds like he’s doing the Hannibal Lecter voice

It’s Hannibal Lecter and Andrew Scott’s Moriarty...

Except without the Irish accent

*mouths along with Jeremiah saying “boom, boom, boom”*

“Don't compare me [Jeremiah] to that short-sighted psychopath.” Dude, we’ve met you for two months!

“I'm [Jeremiah] gonna create a new Gotham in my image. But every artist needs a blank canvas, so all of this has to go.” *leans back in frustration* This is like Theo Galavan in S2!

“Then everyone who dies screaming, who watches their loved ones crushed before them, will have you to thank, Detective Bullock.” *groans*

“Nobody has to die.” SURE JAN!

*eyes widen in shock when Jeremiah blows up the clock tower*

Hoooly shit!

And that was just the opener! We are in for some shit ahead!

“Me [Oswald]? I’d rather live.” *both chuckle*

Ah, I love Robin Lord Taylor.

“They ripped out my [Jongleur’s] fingernails.” *both yell in horror for a second*

“Normally, I [Oswald] would keep both of them for myself. But I find myself a bit short of the necessary manpower- or womanpower, if you will.” I knew you were gonna say that and it’s lame...

“Hugo Strange can fix Butch.” What I wanna know is where exactly is Strange operating now.

That’s a good question.

Because his ass is still alive.

I love how like sassy these two [Oswald and Barbara] are. It’s like, I don’t like Barbara, but she’s got so much sass.

She and Oswald kinda deserve each other honestly.

I know.

They’re each other’s bitchy gay best friends.

Oh yeah.

“Holy Mother of God, Bruce Wayne.” *gasps*

How the hell did he [Bruce] get out of the grave?

God, he [Bruce] is heartbroken! Your boy is heartbroken!

“I’m [Harvey] so sick of that freaking family.” *cackles*

That is a mood! That is a huge mood!

“Wayne Enterprises built those bombs?!?” *groans in frustration*

He didn’t know!

“Look, I [Harvey] know you [Bruce] feel guilty. But Jim Gordon was- is important to all of us.” God, they’re both hurting! So much!

“So go home. Be with Alfred. Be safe.” *whines* ALFRED ISN’T THERE!

I hate this so much

[INCOMING: ALFRED] Oh my God!

“Alfred, where have you been?” “No, not Alfred.” *leans back in chair* SON OF A BITCH!

*groans in frustration*

“I [Jeremiah] hope you [Bruce] didn't catch a cold in my brother's grave. I know those things aren't exactly designed for the living.” *flips off screen with both hands*

Wait, did he [Jeremiah] just turn it off? Did he turn the detonator off ‘cause he clicked it. Or he just set off another bomb.

I thought it was just an intimidation tactic. No, we would have heard a boom.

Oh.

We would have heard a boom if there was another bomb.

“Bruce, let’s get something straight.” Where do you get your [Jeremiah’s] outfits? That’s what I wanna know!

He was already a well dressed son of a bitch before.

I will raid your closet!

“[Jeremiah] You are insane!” *holding head in hands* I thought I was a Pisces...

*laughs* That is the saddest way I’ve heard anyone deliver that line

“Tell the police and I'll know. Just like I [Jeremiah] know that's where you [Bruce] are right now.” How does he know? Is there a spy...

I’d say he’s bluffing.

...on the inside?

*in unison after a good two seconds* HERCULES MULLIGAN!

And he’s [Jim] aliiive!

Well duh!

Leeeeee!!!

God, Jim getting up is such a mood!

He [Jim] grabbed a syringe as a weapon. He’s still konked out.

You are never going to deserve her [Lee], Jim.

“I'll [Jim] have to thank him [Ed] when I arrest him.” You are really terrible at repaying people!

*Jim rips out the IV in his arm* Don’t do thaaat!

Why did you do that?!? Why do people always do that?

“In my jacket I [Jim] got those [plans] from Jeremiah's office. They may give us some clue as to what he's planning.” And you know what, those were hanging in the background in the previous episode.

Yep.

*Jim goes back to sleep* That is the most graceful fall I’ve ever seen.

Selina!

“Bruce, I’m [Selina] gonna be here whenever you need me.” Aaaawww!!

*laughs in pain knowing EXACTLY what happens at the end of this episode*

“He [Jeremiah] wants something out of me [Bruce].” “Like what, to be your best friend?” Yep.

Yeah, actually.

*both gasp and reel back in horror when the first image of Alfred’s torture pops up in the tunnel*

*both immediately hold hands*

“[Lee] You brought him [Jim] here because you thought it would give us leverage with the GCPD.” “Yes.” “By holding him hostage!” *does a WTF shrug*

“This drawing is the key to Valeska's plan. We solve it and we trade the information for clemency.” How good is that gonna do you guys?

*shrugs*

“Or perhaps there’s something more going on.” That’s a safe bet.

Oh my God...

“What happened between Jim and I is over.” *groans in frustration*

“Ed, if this maniac levels half the city, it's gonna disrupt food distribution, water supply, power. The people of the Narrows will suffer the most. We can prevent that, while, at the same time, helping us out of this mess we're in.” OK, yeah, I’m with Lee.

Yeah.

I’m with Lee.

Yeah, that’s a very good point.

“Do it for us.” Don’t kiss him again.

Noooooo!!!

*Lee and Ed kiss* I die a little bit inside every time that happens.

Lucius really is the best.

He is the best.

“But how do we find it? How do we find this brain [the core relay]?” Foregone conclusion: you guys don’t find it.

Ohh that’s a good shot [of Jeremiah walking into the building]! That’s straight out of “Mask of the Phantasm!”

I love it.

*forms an imaginary box around Jeremiah* A LOOK! That is a look!

It really is. With the red gloves!

“I envy you.” You do noooot! Shut up!

“Call our friend. Tell him to kill the butler. He’s no longer necessary.“ *shakes finger at screen* MMM-MMMM!!

You better not! I mean, I know they don’t, but you better not!

Oh my God, I’ve seen this scene!

“Oswald Cobblepot. Barbara Kean. In my stronghold.” It’s less likely than you think!

“And is that my dear Jongleur with my core relay in his hand and a grenade taped to his mouth?” Yes that is!

Holy crap, no, he’s [Oswald] like twirling the [bomb] wire!

Yeeeeppp.

A+ hat removal

“It seems you [Oswald] have the upper hand.” OK, whenever somebody says that, immediately believe that you’re toast!

Those contacts [of Jeremiah’s] are just so unsettling.

They are.

*imitates the way Jeremiah is sitting*

I would like to know who dyed his [Jeremiah’s] hair.

*laughs when Jeremiah rolls his eyes whenever Barbara speaks*

OK, how do they not realize they’re being had? If somebody’s playing it that calm, immediately think something is bad.

“ Well, that and being vastly more intelligent.“ Yeah, he’s basically just telling them right there “Dude, what are you guys doing?”

Oh my God, Penguin, are you that dense?

He’s [Jeremiah] probably calling Ecco. He’s like “Oh my God, can you believe this bullshit?!?”

*chuckles*

Ecco probably dyed his hair. Headcanon. There we go.

“We’re not just gonna hand this thing over and let him destroy Gotham, are we?” “Of course not. Once we get the money, we kill Jeremiah and his people, give the core relay to the police, split the $50 million, and are hailed as the heroes of Gotham!” WHY ARE YOU ADMITTING THAT RIGHT IN FRONT OF HIM [Jeremiah]?!?

I think that’s the boom mic. It was a little too close.

They’re saying this right in front of Jeremiah!

I know!

“Can you believe it? They put me on hold?” His phone wasn’t even on the entire time.

*jaw drops when Jeremiah pulls out the bazooka*

WHAT THE SHIT-

*jaws drop when Jongleur gets blown up*

*softly* WHAT THE F-

You realize you ruined your entire plan by destroying the core relay.

“ What’s insane about having a backup plan? Something Jongleur never knew about.” *imitates the way Jeremiah dramatically brushes himself off* Oh I’m sorry, gotta brush myself off!

“And whose fault is it that I changed my mind?” *grabs desk in shock*

I’m altering the deal. Pray I don’t alter it any further.

“...kill these idiots.” And he just RUNS!

*chuckles*

Look at ‘im, look at ‘im! Nyoom!

Look at him go!

“Hello, Bruce.” Hi asshole!

“ I imagine you’re wondering, why is Jeremiah doing this?” *puts head on desk* I’M DONE!

“My brother once said, “All it takes is one bad day to reduce the sanest man alive to lunacy.” OK no, you don’t get to ape that- oh my God, they are literally doing the “Killing Joke” thing ‘cause he’s got all these things on the walls!

Aaauugghh!

*both put our hands on our heads in horror*

AAAHHHHH I HATE THIS EPISODE. I HATE THIS EPISODE SO MUCH!

*Scarecrow starts breathing* Jesus God...

*whines in shock behind hands*

“I’ve [Jeremiah] instructed Scarecrow to mix up something exceptional.” Oh my God,another one?

*slaps hands on desk in horror*

“Your butler is going to show you the path ahead.” *in unison* Noooo!

Nooo, we’re not doing this!

Noooo!

He’s [Scarecrow] got the fear gauntlets on [from the Arkham games]!

*both instantly freak out when Alfred gets sprayed with the insanity gas*

“I [Ed] want to make one thing very clear. If Gotham becomes a rock pile, I mind zero percent.” Pfftt.

“I’m only helping you [Jim] because I’m with Lee now.” “Fine. Whatever.” *chuckles*

You’re full of shit, Nygma.

“ Ed, Jeremiah Valeska is threatening to destroy half the city. You really think I care if you’ve deluded yourself into thinking you and Lee are a couple? ” EEEEEEEYYYYYYYY!!!! YES!!

The man has a point.

“[Jim] You don't believe that Lee could actually love me [Ed], do you?” “Honestly? No.” OH MY GOD, JIM!

“[Ed] You're a psychopath and a murderer. And the fact that you need me [Jim] to validate your crazy fantasy means that you don't believe it either.” *claps excitedly* HOOOOOOOOO!!!

I don’t trust for a second that you [Ed] can carry on a relationship without hurting the woman involved!

“She’s with me in every way.” Freeze him! Put him in ice again!

Please, God. He did less harm that way.

Can we get back to the topic at hand thank you!

“So you're saying that she [Lee] wouldn't be with a killer? And yet she was with you [Jim].” *sits back in frustration* EEEEEDDDDD....

Noo, EEDDD... he’s saying Jim’s worse than him.

OK no...

*groans in frustration*

“Can we do this?” *raises hands in air* Thank you.

*Ed figures out the diagram* It’s a skyline.

Damn...

“Jeremiah lived his entire life in a maze. Now he's trying to remake the city into the place he feels most safe.” “It's actually rather elegant.” Jeremiah’s more of a Riddler than the actual Riddler.

*shrugs*

*shrugs* Yeah...

“Lee and I have some legal knots we need untangled. Before we spend the rest of our lives together.” I’m so done.

Screw you, Eddie!

I’m so done with you!

Now I’m reminded why I didn’t like you!

I liked him in the first half of S4, now it’s just like “Ugh.”

*cheers when Jim knocks out Ed*

THANK YOU! Thank you for that! I would have done it myself!

*gasps when the show cuts back to Barbara and Co. taking out the rest of Jeremiah’s goons*

Ugh, you [Oswald] are so boned...

*claps hands with each word* LET! US! MOVE!

“IS THIS OSWALD?!?” *chuckles*

*chuckles when Harvey abruptly hangs up on Oswald*

*Jim walks back in* Eeeyyy!

There he is!

*smiles when Harvey hugs the crap out of Jim*

“But what matters is, I have the locations of every bomb Jeremiah planted.” Oh he wrote them down!

Auugghh, Jim, when you’re awesome, you’re awesome, and when you suck, you suck.

*sighs* Yeah...

I’m gonna hate this very much...

Ohhhh fear gas!

Ohhhhhhhh, screw that noise.

*gasps when Scarecrow walks up behind Selina*

Aaand that’s him.

OH HE’S GOT A SCYTHE HOLY SHIT

He’s got a scythe...

LOOK AT HIM, HE’S SO COOL!

“I [Scarecrow] think our little experiment is about to get much more interesting.” Oh nononononono...

*Selina starts beating up goons* Oh, go, go, go, go!

“I [Harvey] need this, Jim.” Let him take it.

Ugghh, c’mon guys!

God, Scarecrow looks so cool...

*both freak out when Scarecrow starts swinging his scythe at Selina*

They’re pumping the hallway that Bruce is in with that [fear gas]!

*shakily* Yeah...

So he’s actually seeing a bunch of stuff that isn’t happening.

Yeee-eepp.

*covers hands in horror when we see more of Alfred’s torture*

This is like a Nine Inch Nails music video!

It kinda does...

Jesus Christ...

*both reel back in horror*

“Alfred?” Oh no, did they- noooo....

*puts hands on head in shock*

Noo they didn’t!

*both yell in horror when Fake Alfred gives himself a Glasgow smile*

It’s just fear gas!

It’s fear gas! It’s fake!

It’s fear gas...

It’s fake, it’s fake, it’s fake, fake, fake, fake, fake, fake!

*shakes hands in worry* Oh God...

I DON’T LIKE THIS EPISODE AT AAALLL!!

*sighs* I’m with you there...

*gasps when Fake Alfred slices Bruce’s sweater with the knife*

Oh my God, no...

Where the heck are they?!?

I don’t know...

*Selina finds someone locked behind a door* Is that where Alfred is?

“Brucey... give me a smile!” *jaw drops in horror*

Noo...

Nononononono...

Aaahhhh...

*both cover our mouths in horror when Fake Alfred gets shot and goes over the balcony*

“Scarecrow was just pumping his fear gas in here.” *keels over* I’m done, you guys!

*both keel over in exhaustion when Alfred appears*

That wasn’t him...

“Look, I’m fine. it’s me. It’s Alfred.” *sing songs* Huuuugggg him noooooww!

Please...

Aahhhhh....

“Alfred?” Give this boy a hug, pleeeasseee...

Aaahhhh....

I’ve seen this before, but I’m so worn out... I’m so worn out by this episode...

*sighs* That’s understandable...

We have 11 minutes to go... then we have the finale.

“I [Harvey] don't know what it's [the bomb] supposed to look like, but I think it is exactly what I'm staring at.” Disable it.

Could only wonder how stable that thing [the bomb] is.

*Jeremiah enters the room* Hooo... that is such a sharp suit...

*snorts in hilarity at Jeremiah’s little smirk of approval that he gives his followers*

“No, wait, Harvey, one of the breakers could be the supercharge fail-safe. Whatever you do, do not touch that one.” *raises hands in WTF manner*

Well, which one?!?

Vertigo shot....

Yeeeeeepppp....

“This is a message to the followers of Jeremiah Valeska. Jeremiah claims to have killed me [Jim]. Well, bad news, I’m alive.“ *leans back* Hooooooo...

The reports of my death have been greatly exaggerated.

Whooooo....

“So, just know you’re worshipping a fraud. A pale imitation of Jerome.“ *jaw drops in shock*

“You did your worst, Jeremiah, and I’m still here.” Hooooooooooo!!!

Jim almost died and he’s so done with everything. Drag them!

Oh my God, this is gonna be so great.

*Harvey pulls out one of the breakers* He did it! Please tell me he did it!

*both laugh in relief when Harvey realizes he saved the day*

He did it! YA DID IT, HARVEY!

*Jeremiah realizes he done effed up* Oh schnap.

"SHUT UUUUUUPPPPPPP!” *gasps*

...Shit.

*jaw drops open and covers mouth in shock when Jeremiah starts to laugh to himself*

*under her breath* What the...

He [Jeremiah] just spit on that word [’fickleness’]

*shakily* This music is also very good...

*chuckles* [And he] Runs!

Oh, this is where he- yeeeeeeppp.

*jaw drops when Jeremiah purges his followers*

“Perhaps the outcome was not what we had hoped, - but it was worth the risk.” Everyone’s like “Oswald, shut up.”

Seriously though...

“Let’s go, Butch.” “Nope.” *raises hands in air* Thank you!

“.Ever since we [Oswald and Butch] teamed up, everything's gone to crap.” He’s not wrong...

“Except I [Oswald] do know where Strange is.” You’ve held out on this the entire time?!?

“And how exactly do we pay him [Strange]?!?” “I [Tabitha] can be very persuasive.” *sighs*

Stab him.

I think that’s a... desanctified church that he’s [Jeremiah] in

Could very well be, yeah...

Oh, he’s [Jeremiah] using an old map...

Yep.

“I [Ra’s] had a vision. Of Gotham in flames.” *sits back in seat* I’m done...

Who the hell...

“Together, we can make that happen.” Ohhhhh....

“Well, I [Jeremiah] appreciate the offer, but recent events have convinced me of the benefits of working alone.” You have a girlfriend.

Go to hell, Ra’s!

Just so you know, Jeremiah, you’re holding your gun way off. His arms are like super close to him; they should be fully extended when he holds the gun. Dude!

AN: His hair? WACK! His gear? WACK! His jewelry? WACK! His foot stance? WACK! The way that he talks? WACK! The way hat he doesn't even like to smile? WACK!

“Because, my boy, all this is not just about Gotham.” You are so full of shit, Ra’s.

‘Course it’s not...

“This is about Bruce Wayne.” Because everything in this GODDAMN SHOW IS ABOUT Bruce Wayne!

Gaaaahhhhhh...

“[Lee] Leave Gotham. Start a new life somewhere else.” A day late and a dollar short, Jim.

Wait, leave Gotham? The evacuation’s still going.

“But whatever happens after I [Jim] walk out that door, I care about you [Lee]. And I always will.” *puts hand to chest*

And the actors are married and you can teeeell!

God dang it, I hate this.

FRICKINNNNN’-

Go away, Ed!

NOOOOOOOOOOOO... go away...

Mr. Nygma, I formally invite you to eat from the bag of infinite dicks.

“Give it up for Harvey Bullock.” Yaaayyy! Yes, cheer for this man!

*both clap for Harvey*

After all the shit he’s had to put up with!

“Well, I'm [Alfred] gonna take a very long and a very hot shower.” Yes!

*leans all the way back in seat, thinking about the ending*

Are you OK?

No, I’m nooottt...

*Selina props her legs up on Bruce* Aaawww!

Oh oh oh oh...

Kiss. Kiss. Kiss.

*both start chanting “KISS” then cheer once Bruce kisses Selina*

Ohhhh man... they’re just ticking all the boxes for “How Do We Comfort the Audience After All the Shit They Just Saw?”

*laughs in pain knowing what happens next*

“Why do you [Bruce] think he's [Jeremiah] so obsessed with you?” Some shit!

*both laugh*

God, this was grueling!

*both yell when Jeremiah strolls in*

*both yell in horror when Jeremiah shoots Selina*

YOOOUUU- NO, NONONONO!

She’s fine though! She’s fine, because she has the um, the nine lives! [Selina] You’re good! You’re good, honey!

*Alfred beats the crap out of Jeremiah* Gooo Alfred, gooo!

BEAT. HIS. ASS!

Go Alfred go Alfred go Alfred-

Please, c’mon! C’mon!

*both sigh in frustration when the episode ends*

[Expletive]... this... episode...

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rambling-at-midnight · 7 years ago

Text

Slytherin Sherlock x Ravenclaw Reader

-It’s not that he doesn’t notice you

-It’s that he doesn’t give a shit about you

-Or anyone really

-So he doesn’t feel bad when he gloats in your face about how he’s smarter and better

-I mean

-Obviously he notices you

-You’re like one of his only friends apart from your fellow Housemate Molly Hooper and that Gryffindor John Watson

-So why on earth doesn’t he treat you better????

-Like

-Even his brother is politer

-but you know he’s just plotting against everyone in this godforsaken school

-But Sherlock is always thinking and thinking and thinking and you’re sitting next to him doing your homework but he’s not because he thinks it’s mundane

-’You’re held back by your need to be accepted by your peers Y/N’

-’Yeah well I’d hate to be anything like you’

-Eventually during fourth year you just like give up

-You’re just done

-And Sherlock pretends to not care when you walk away

-But then he starts realizing

-His essays aren’t getting finished

-Like

-He’d always assumed he did them and just didn’t care enough to remember

-But then he gets one back and it’s your handwriting

-How did he not realize????

-And then he realizes you act different around other people, your fellow Ravenclaws

-You don’t strive to prove yourself to them

-You stay in the upper-middle and it irks Sherlock to no end

-Compared to those people you’re practically a genius

-Even though all you do is memorize the textbooks and use logic but still

-And it’s like two days before the Yule Ball and Mycroft’s been on Sherlock’s back for a long time about getting a date

-But he only has two options: Irene Adler, his fellow Housemate, or you

-He doesn’t like Irene all that much

-And he knows the only reason she doesn’t have a date yet is because all the other boys that have a date are going to sneak away for some alone time with her and he most definitely does not want to be a part of that

-So that leaves you

-He just sits down at your regular table in the library

-Just stares at you and then blurts out ‘Doyouwannagoballwime?’

-You don’t even look up before replying ‘No’ and flipping a page in your textbook

-’Why not you’re the only bearable person in this school including Mycroft bc i hate Mycroft’

-You slam the textbook shut and leave, calling over your shoulder ‘I already have a date and even if I didn’t I wouldn’t go with you’

-Refusing to be deterred, Sherlock chases after you forgetting about his bookbag

-’Why not, who is it’

-’Greg Lestrade from Hufflepuff’

-’Oh forget him, he’s an idiot! You’re too smart for them!’

-’He might be an idiot but he’s a nice idiot and you’re a smart arsehole and I hate you’

-’Why’

-’When you learn that other people have emotions--don’t pretend you don’t, Sherlock, we all know you do--I’ll talk to you again. it’s fools that kick people who’re nice to you in the mouth and Sherlock you may be smart but you’re a right fool’

-Sherlock stops bugging you and takes Irene to the ball

-As expected, her ‘feet are aching, want to give them a massage’

-’No’

-During fifth year McGonagall decides to have ‘inter-House study buddies’ for the O.W.L.s

-Just Sherlock’s luck, he’s stuck with the one person that dares call him foolish

-Your grimace shows him you’re not happy with these arrangements either

-As Sherlock studies with you he realizes just how lacking he is in the written area

-So you sigh and take him to the Room of Requirement and it has a bunch of example O.W.L. tests and you help him with those

-Because ‘you may be smart but if you don’t pass your tests you won’t be able to make a living’

-’I have Mycroft for that’

-’Shut up and take your test’

-After he’s memorized practically every O.W.L. scenario you two start practicing your practical work

-He can’t produce a Patronus while yours is a cat

-It reminds you of Sherlock himself and Jim Moriarty, one of your Housemates because it prances around with its nose in the air

-You’re getting increasingly frustrated with him like

-’If you mess something up on your practical you can produce a Patronus for extra credit, I looked it up’

-’Of course you did’

-It turns out Sherlock is far superior to you in Potions when one of your assignments comes back and he has an O and you have a T

-Your eyes are tearing up and you shove it in your bag in hopes Sherlock won’t see it

-He does

-And during your next lesson he starts to lecture you on how you should really pay more attention during lessons and such

-And it would be super condescending bc you do pay attention and he doesn’t except it’s the exact same lecture you gave him once and so you’re kinda like touched that he remembered it and even memorized it????

-So now each lesson is split up between your Potions lessons and Sherlock’s Patronus lessons

-You’re slowly getting the hang of Potions

-(’Just think of the concepts I’ve told you and when the textbook goes against them, listen to your brain instead of the inanimate object; the writer was terribly dull anyways’)

-But Sherlock tries and tries and just cannot produce a Patronus

-So you’re starting to get desperate when O.W.L. season comes around

-Why??? Well you sure don’t care about his scores that’s for sure

-But then you start brainstorming with Molly and John like

-’What the hell does Sherlock like?’

-’Uhhhhh candy and his violin’

-They don’t mention you

-You get him Honeydukes candy

-That doesn’t cut it

-You get him sheet music

-He manages to produce a silver wisp and doesn’t tell you it was because he was focusing on your smile rather than the music because that’s corny and Sherlock Holmes does not have emotions

-Potions practical time!!!?!!

-You have to make Draught of Living Death

-You’re doing the potion, humming, skipping through a field of flowers mentally,

-and then the instructions say something wrong

-You freeze

-John, who’s sitting next to you, glances at you, also with panic in his eyes

-Listen to the book or your head???

-You just sit there

-And then a textbook literally comes flying in out of nowhere, someone coughing loudly behind you and it hits the back of your head and you nearly get dunked into your cauldron

-You whirl around and Sherlock’s glaring at you

-The teacher yells and he just shrugs and says ‘It was a reflex’

-You glare at him

-’Sorry’

-But anyways you pick up the book and a piece of paper flutters out

-Your breath catches in your throat; this is cheating

-Your fingers shake as you unfold the paper and slip it inbetween the pages of your textbook

-When the instructor isn’t looking you look at it

-’What did I say?’

-You grin and crumple the paper in your hand before making a mental note to set it on fire later and slip it into your pocket

-You listen to what Sherlock said and go against the textbook

-A few days later it’s practical D.A.D.A. testing

-You mess up the pronunciation of Aparecium

-(You say A-pa-rae-cee-um instead of A-pa-ree-cee-um)

-So you wave your wand and the cat slips out of the tip before bounding across the room to pounce on a piece of lint and then fading away

-Grinning, you look over at Sherlock, expecting him to at least try but he finishes the last spell and just pockets his wand, frowning slightly at your Patronus

-He pretends not to see your slightly crestfallen look

-You’re slightly angry that he taught you so much but you couldn’t even help him execute a silly spell

-Fast-forward to last day of school

-(John had started hanging out with the insufferable Slytherin brat and dragged you and Molly along with him, Molly’s hopelessly smitten with the arse even though you’ve warned her off of him multiple times)

-Everyone gets back their scores

-The four of you are sitting by the lake, Molly’s over the moon about her two O’s and the rest E’s

-John’s got nearly straight E’s and one or two A’s

-Sherlock, of course, got all O’s (except for his practical D.A.D.A. which was an E, but of course he doesn’t mention that)

-You haven’t opened your letter yet

-Sherlock goads you into doing it so you retreat further away, certain you failed everything

-Sherlock follows, ready to gloat about getting better grades than you

-He’s ready for you to say a mixture of O’s, E’s, and A’s

-You open your letter with shaking hands and then shriek

-Sherlock’s terrified like

-’Y/n did you fail everything? Y/n do you want me to get Mycroft to force them to give you all O’s? Y/n whaaaaaaat’

-You look up, shaking, the paper falls out of your hand

-Sherlock swoops down to get it, your nervousness is making him nervous and that means he’s getting ready to blackmail Mycroft into blackmailing the O.W.L. instructors

-He picks it up, looks at it

-Sighs

-’Y/n seriously you scared me I thought you failed everything but you got… all O’s—’

-He looks up and you just tackle him, shrieking into his neck like

-’I passed the Potions! I passed the Potions!’

-Sherlock just stands there awkwardly like ‘wtf am i doing Mycroft what do i do Molly help me JOhN wHaT iS tHiS?’

-Over to his right a bunch of your Housemates are laughing and Sherlock knows you really hate them bc they’re bullies so he glares at them and then you pull away so he turns to look at you bc ‘wait why are you leaving don’t mind me pretending i hate you i really love you’

-But his reflexes are so fast that he catches you still pulling away

-And like his lips are halfway on yours, halfway on your cheek

-You jerk back like you got electrocuted and then just stare at him

-Sherlock stares right back

-(the other Ravenclaws aren’t laughing anymore obviously)

-And you both just stare at each other getting continuously redder

-And then you cough awkwardly into your fist and look away ‘sorry about that’

-’Why’

-’Why what’

-’Why are you sorry’

-’Because you obviously don’t feel the same way—’

-’I started it I should be the one being sorry’

-’But it was an accident for you which means—’

-Sherlock rolls his eyes and steps forward to kiss you

-Sixth year is pretty uneventful at first

-You two start using the Room of Requirement for some ‘other’ activities

-But pretty much nothing happens until the middle of the year

-Irene Adler is making suggestive comments about your boyfriend and snidely asking you if he’s gay

-You shrug and then punch her right in the face, breaking her nose

-You stand up, shaking your hand out, and wrap one arm around Sherlock’s waist

-(He’s bright red and trying not to cry because he doesn’t have feelings dammit)

-’It really shouldn’t make a difference and even if it did it shouldn’t make a difference for you, since you obviously don’t care whether your partner has a penis or a vagina’ you point to Irene’s sidekick ‘she loves to complain about you saying you love her and then fucking another man just to have blackmail on him’

-So the two of you go to the RoR and you lead Sherlock in, expecting a congratulations or a thanks

-But he starts yelling at you that Irene is a terrible person to make an enemy out of and way to go, stupid, you’ve made her angry

-’I just—’

-’I can fight my own battles! You think I’m useless so you fight them for me, huh? Just to prove you’re a badass when I know’ he advances forwards, sneering ‘when I know for sure you’re insecure, anxious, dependent on the approval of others—’

-You slap him and storm out and ignore him for like two weeks

-The whole time John’s like cajoling you like ‘come on he doesn’t really understand normal people stuff’

-’Well that’s hardly my problem well is it’

-And Molly’s talking to Sherlock ‘If she hasn’t said that stuff outright she doesn’t want it known and you especially shouldn’t bring it up’

-’I was just labeling her shortcomings’

-’Oh come off it you were being cruel for the fun of it don’t pretend’

-Eventually he apologizes

-You, since you love grudges, ignore him

-That’s when the fight shifts from ‘both angry’ to ‘one angry, other repentant’

-And Sherlock falls down the rabbit hole

-Like sneaking out of his dormitory in the middle of the night to sneak into the kitchens and drink until he passes out

-John finds him one night with you in tow like ‘see Y/n this is Sherlock without you’

-You just sigh and turn away like

-’No’

-Eventually he gets his shit together with a ton of help from John and Molly

-He wins you back

-After that you two are closer than ever

-And then seventh year

-It’s fifth year but like even more horrible

-You two don’t even do stuff in the RoR anymore except study

-It’s just a hellish year of studying

-And then

-N.E.W.T. practical D.A.D.A. time lessgo amiright

-Sherlock’s like freaking out

-He knows everything but he wants to do something for you something special

-At the end of the exam you’ve hesitated a bit more than necessary and you’ve finished but you want to walk out with your boyfriend

-Sherlock finishes and you smile at him and turn away

-And then you hear ‘Expecto Patronum!’

-You whirl around

-There’s a teensy little mouse made of light scampering towards you

-Dramatic Flashback

-’Y/n you’re, like, a mouse’

-You laugh and kiss your boyfriend’s nose

-’Why’s that babe’

-’Cuz you’re so small!’ Sherlock picks you up and twirls you around once

-’Is that a compliment?’

-’I love you’

-End of Dramatic Flashback

-You know exactly what the Patronus means

-Sherlock just waves at you, the cheeky little fucker

#hogwarts au #slytherin sherlock #ravenclaw reader #sherlock x reader #sherlock x you #sherlock holmes x reader #sherlock holmes x you #sherlock #sherlock holmes #bbc sherlock #sherlock bbc #john watson #molly hooper #greg lestrade #irene adler #minerva mcgonagall #hogwarts #jim moriarty #honeydukes

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mrleopard25 · 7 years ago

Text

James Bond Series Revisited: SPECTRE (2015)

Directed by Sam Mendes

Starring Daniel Craig, Christoph Waltz, Ralph Fiennes, and Léa Seydoux

Yes, this has taken years to complete, and for that I apologize. In part it was due to me seeing the film during its opening run and then not again until very recently. I like to be fairly familiar with the film before giving it my full thoughts. Also I like hearing what other people had to say, and well...some of it wasn’t so kind. But I’ve also gone through each of the other Bond films in deep analysis so, like Quantum of Solace, maybe I could give the film a better appraisal. Was it terrible? Was it great? Well...

The film opens on Bond engaging in some good old fashioned espionage in Mexico City, during the Day of the Dead celebrations. Some nefarious types are meeting in a hotel room talking about bombing a stadium, and Bond decides he’s going to assassinate all these guys. They get wise to the attempt at the last second and several explosions later, the block is leveled. But Bond’s target, a man named Sciarra, survives and decides he’s going to escape Bond by the most inconspicuous way he can think of: a helicopter in a crowded town square. Bond’s having none of that, takes his octopus ring, and shoves him out of the helicopter.

But uh oh – why was Bond even there? That’s what M wants to know because, from his point of view, a vacationing agent demolished a couple city blocks and did some aerial tricks in a helicopter above several thousand people. So M wants an explanation, but Bond gives him nothing. This is especially frustrating, as there is a new centralized intelligence agency, the Joint Intelligence Service headed by a man named C, that wants to merge with MI6 and has made no secret about wanting to shut down the 00 program. Why? Because it’s the future!

Meanwhile, Bond reveals to Moneypenny that M, the last M, sent him one of those tapes that says “If you’re seeing this, that means I’m dead, so do this because I’m dead.” Unfortunately M has grounded Bond, but Bond also enlists Q to help him out, and soon Bond has gone to Rome to go to Sciarra’s funeral. He makes an acquaintance of Sciarra’s wife, and later that night saves her from assassination. In response, she informs him of where he can take that octopus ring.

Bond finds himself at a meeting of a clandestine organization engaged in operating terrorist activities around the globe. The leader of the organization notices Bond is there, and soon Bond has to go on the run through the streets of Rome. Based on some word clues, Moneypenny informs Bond that this organization has ties to Mr. White. Bond tracks him down to a remote cabin where he finds the man dying. Bond gets some information about this organization, SPECTRE, and their involvement in global affairs. White makes Bond swear to protect his daughter, then commits suicide.

Bond finds his daughter, Madeline Swann, as a doctor in a special treatment clinic in the mountains. He reveals her father’s fate and her role in this, and she spurns him. On his way out, he bumps into Q, who is feeling chagrinned at working with Bond illegally. Bond gets Q to identify some DNA samples on the ring (not sure why they’re there), and we get links to all the previous Craig movie. More on that later.

SPECTRE tries to abduct Swan and a long chase sequence ensues. After recovering Swann, she takes Bond to a hotel that White used to take his family to, as Bond believes White left information there. Bond tears the room apart, and eventually finds a hidden room that contains information detailing Quantum / SPECTRE activities, including coordinates to a secret base in the Sahara.

Travelling there by rail, Bond and Swann get to know each other a little better, but this is interrupted by Hinx, a SPECTRE assassin, who nearly succeeds in killing them both. After finishing him off, the pair arrive at the SPECTRE base where they are confronted by the leader, Franz Oberhauser – the son of the man who took Bond in after the death of Bond’s parents. Oberhauser killed his father and staged his own death, and has lay hidden as SPECTRE’s leader, calling himself Ernst Stavro Blofeld. Blofeld lays out his objective in overseeing the new global intelligence community, and how C is one of his agents. He then decides to torture Bond by drilling into his brain. Luckily, Bond has an exploding watch that allows him to escape and destroy the compound.

Returning to the UK, Bond meets up with the remains of the 00 program: M, Tanner, Q, and Moneypenny. Their goal is to dismantle the intelligence network before it is activated, and time is running out. Unfortunately, Blofeld kidnaps Swann and keeps her tied up in the old MI6 headquarters, which are rigged to blow. The former MI6 teams now has a limited amount of time to stop Blofeld, C, and SPECTRE.

So SPECTRE isn’t a bad movie. If anything, it’s biggest flaw is that it follows Skyfall. But it’s also not a great film, and I’m pretty sure it boils down to the script. Sam Mendes returns to directing, but we’re missing the fantastic cinematography of Roger Deakins, and he is sorely missed. Not to say that Hoyte van Hoytema is a bad DOP; certainly his work on Interstellar and Dunkirkwas fantastic, but there was something visually stylistic that was missing, and this film just feels like it was filmed as a normal action film.

But on to the script. There are some things taken as granted in the script that rub people the wrong way, myself included. First is that we had a build up in the first two Craig films about an organization called Quantum, that was clearly supposed to be the reboot’s version of SPECTRE at the time. And I was fine with that. It seemed to have the same goals and methods, but be updated for the 21st century. Now we learn that Quantum was really taking orders from SPECTRE this whole time. That could have been an interesting development, if it made sense. But it doesn’t. It only really seems to be done because Blofeld has an anger-boner for Bond. For the fourth movie in a rebooted franchise, having Blofeld be the evil mastermind behind all of it just because he has daddy issues is not good enough for me.

Second are the leaps in logic that serve only to move the story. I really didn’t know how Bond located White’s cabin so quickly. There’s a reference that the Pale King is actually Mr.White, and he was last spotted in some certain place, and then we cut to Bond finding this remote outpost. The average audience member might forgive this, but I found it nonsensical in how fast it happened.

Very glaring is C, played by Andrew Scott (perhaps best known as Moriarty in the BBC Sherlock series). Nobody was fooled by his betrayal, and I think the story would have been better served by this being a genuine surprise that he was working for SPECTRE. I don’t want to denigrate Scott as an actor, but I really feel that he was cast because he has such a sinister presence, not because it would service the story.

And finally is a scene at Blofeld’s Sahara compound where we get a twist on the cliché. Blofeld goes to explain his whole evil plan to Bond, but Bond just explains it to him instead. Blofeld kind of nods and smiles, and basically says “Yeah you got it.” Now, I am completely for us bypassing this cliché, but the way it was written, it seemed more like the movie was getting impatient with itself.

I don’t want to harp on the film too much, because it’s certainly far from the worst in the franchise. And although it’s easy to only focus on the things you don’t like in the movie, we shouldn’t forget the good stuff.

Right at the beginning of the film, we get a great long shot of travelling through Mexico City, which must have included some fantastic trickery, including getting on and off cranes and going through false walls. That whole opening sequence is pretty stellar. This is then paired with an unfortunate credit sequence which borders on uncomfortable the entire time. Apparently Radiohead was involved at some point to do the opening theme but this fell through. The song, “SPECTRE”, is a dark and moody piece with some moments of levity, but has a very grand and sweeping cinematic feel to it (and fits in amazingly with the “A Moon Shaped Pool” tracks they were working on at the time). The replacement, “The Writing’s On The Wall” by Sam Smith is too much for me. The verses work all right, but then he keeps hitting this painful falsetto in the chorus. Meanwhile some of the imagery is great, but then we get some nutty allusions to tentacle porn. It’s a shame, because the title sequence is always a golden opportunity to set the stage for the film.

We are given some interesting questions at this point, and that is: what is the role of the 00 program in the 21stcentury? Skyfall gave us a pretty good answer about using raw tools against advanced technology, but this film picks up that thread by asking what if the good guys have that advanced technology? Do we still need the blunt instruments? C brings up a good point – why use assassins when it’s more effective to destroy their reputation and limit their resources? Don’t make them a martyr, and instead let them fade into obscurity. Remove their power. We do see this with White. He wasn’t killed at the end of Casino Royale, while he was a powerful and influential man, and was allowed to degrade into a recluse with very little standing. Sadly, we really don’t get much discussion about this topic, as the movie goes through the same motions as the last few, wherein the blunt instrument Bond just blows everything up and wins.

Continuing on the theme of technology, watch this film against an older Bond film, and the filmmakers made a logical and interesting use of cell phones. Sometimes you’ll watch a film and if it’s an older film, you are chagrinned that so many of the issues that could be solved with a quick call on a cell phone, or if it’s a newer film you might be shouting at the screen to make a quick phone call and fix the issue. This film does not have this issue, as it uses the technology of the day appropriately.

There are a few chase sequences in this film, and those are Bond staples, but the real task was to make them interesting and compelling. And it’s successful! These were great chases with some inventive ideas, and even a way to incorporate some useful information via a phone call with Moneypenny thrown in.

My final point I want to touch on is casting, and this is the most complicated issue. Daniel Craig continues to really seize the role of Bond and own it. The screenwriters and Craig continue to develop the psychological destruction of Bond was a sure treat. After Bond has demolished the suite at the hotel, we see him devolve into a drunk just barely hanging on to sanity. He is used to being an unstoppable force, and when that doesn’t seem to be the answer, he begins to lose cohesion with his psyche. Seeing the mouse scuttle on the floor, a weak animal that lives under cover of darkness, amuses him and challenges him – especially when it gives away the location of the room. Going on with that thought, whenever we see Bond lose composure, it can make the scene gripping.

The supporting cast are mostly very good. Fiennes is an excellent M in this film, and Harris as Moneypenny has the type of relationship with Bond that we expect, in that it borders on romantic, but never gets going. But it’s more realistic than the condescending / paternal relationship that the Bond / Moneypenny relationship danced in the original run. Bautista as Mr. Hinx is brutal. As with his other roles, he conveys a real presence while on screen and his punches look like they hurt. There is a raw masculinity and physicality in his motions, and it really creates an impression. Naturally the fight scene on the train is reminiscent of the fight with Red Grant in From Russia With Love. That has to be one of the best homages.

Christoph Waltz delivers despite some pretty bad dialogue given to him. His allusion to Bond as a cuckoo chick, with him making cuckoo noises to taunt him are a little grating and not at all sinister. Where Waltz delivers is in his mannerisms and the cold in his eyes, and he has such amazing potential to really develop further as Blofeld. Again though, his character is undermined by the lackluster motivation of daddy issues.

Also, during the big SPECTRE meeting, we get a call back to previous SPECTRE members in the last run with two characters who seem to be visual callbacks to Klebb and Mr. Big. I actually had to double check IMDb to see if the characters had actually been named that.

But now for the elephant in the room: Léa Seydoux as Swann. I haven’t seen Seydoux in anything else, so I really am not qualified to give a review of her as an actor in general (although apparently she was good in Blue Is The Warmest Colour). And it is not without precedent to have a French girl in a Bond film. But there’s two ways in which her character portrayal lets the film down, and I’m not sure if its her fault or Mendes’. The first is that she has no chemistry with Craig. I don’t at any point buy their relationship, either romantically or sexually. There is no fizzle between them. There was something really serious and real with Eva Green in Casino Royale. And secondly is her stoicism with her father. I never really came away with the sense of her emotional state towards her father, and that should have been a major component of her character. She should have extremely complex feelings towards him. She should love him dearly but have an anger at him for bringing so much death and destruction into her life. It should drive her character.

Okay, so let’s break this film down.

Mission Completed?

Bond was grounded after failing to have a vacation. He received an unofficial mission near the end to stop the launch of Nine Eyes, the global intelligence network. The MI6 team really kind of did it all together to be honest.

Dastardly Scheme

So by using a subsidiary organization, Quantum, SPECTRE has been achieving two goals: one to slowly convince world governments to reconcile their intelligence services into one network, and the second to slowly convince the British government that the MI6 agency (in particular the 00 program) is obsolete and to disband it.

SPECTRE mostly succeeded, but was undermined by Blofeld’s endless pursuit of Bond.

Best Buds

The entire MI6 team stands behind Bond and helps him out whenever they can. Naomie Harris continues in her support of Bond as Moneypenny, being a reliable source of information to keep him moving. Ben Whishaw steps up as Q, going into the field to lend forensic aid to Bond, and even getting involved in a chase sequence himself. He really should be more careful out there. Bill Tanner and M also show up at the end to take a hands on approach to stop the Nine Eyes.

The Bad Guy and His Goon

I already spoke about Christoph Waltz’s cold portrayal of Ernst Stavro Blofeld, a man who uses humour to mask his insane revenge plot and obsession with having eyes everywhere. Waltz is supremely charismatic, even if some of his writing is subpar.

Dave Bautista plays Mr. Hinx, an assassin who fills a vacancy in SPECTRE for being the go-to for dispatching enemies. Again, I’m a big fan of Bautista, as each role I’ve seen him in is completely unique. He’s strong but funny in Guardians Of The Galaxy, and strong but tragic in Blade Runner 2049. I almost wish we saw more character from him here because his portrayal is just... strong and brutal?

An interesting take on a villain role is Andrew Scott as C, head of the Joint Intelligence Service, but not because of his portrayal. It’s because he is an antagonist for M, not Bond. His arc revolves around M, and the conflict is with M. It is resolved through M’s actions and confrontations. That’s a welcome addition.

Booty Snatched

Two again. The first was Sciarra’s wife, Lucia, played by Monica Bellucci. She had been a name floating around the franchise for years but only now has finally landed as a Bond girl. She’s the oldest woman cast in such a role, but you know what? It really doesn’t matter – she absolutely fits the profile. Bond gives her a contact to help her get out of the country and into safety and... hey what happened with that? Did she make it?

The second was with Swann, after they dispatch Hinx. Apparently there is no bigger turn on than barely surviving a big sweaty fight. Well...and her dress.

Baddies Dispatched

An astounding 31 killed by Bond, a strong percentage of which during his escape from the SPECTRE compound.

Gadgets Trashed

Bond dumps his car into a canal in Rome, after exhausting all the bonus options. He then hijacks a plane to chase down Swann’s kidnappers, and thoroughly demolishes it. And finally his watch explodes spectacularly. I would actually be really hesitant to wear something with that much yield on my wrist.

It Goes BOOM

Eight explosions, including an absolutely spectacular fireball in the middle of the Sahara.

You Misogynistic Pig

I realize as someone who must use every tool at his disposal to save the world, this falls in line with Bond’s objective, but it still feels really slimy that he immediately sets his sights on, follows home, and seduces Lucia on the day of her husband’s funeral.

White Man’s Burden

This is a weird one. While this film was being made, there were no such Day of the Dead celebrations in Mexico as depicted in the film. It’s really reminiscent of Carnival in Brazil with Day of the Dead imagery thrown in but apparently Mexico City was so enamored with the idea of it, it’s actually become a real celebration in this manner in recent years.

Best Line

“Your word?! The word of an assassin?!” White is incredulous that Bond is promising anything, much less protecting someone.

Worst Line

“He’s everywhere – everywhere! He’s sitting at your desk, he’s kissing your lover, he’s eating supper with your family!” White, during the same scene, trying to beef up how scary a villain Blofeld is. It’s too hammy and making Blofeld sound like a metaphysical demon stalker isn’t intimidating, it’s a cartoon.

Bond Moment

During a fight scene at the clinic, one of the security guys gets up and approaches Bond. Bond gives him a look, raises his hand and says “No! Stay!” The man immediately obeys, probably seeing it’s not worth the trouble.

Special Awards:

Another Number:

Bond’s car (Aston Martin DB10) was to be reassigned to 009, who apparently has questionable tastes.

Scrooge McDuck’s Heir:

Blofeld is so rich, he has a massive compound in the middle of the Sahara desert with a fully landscaped and maintained yard, that is fully staffed with enough supplies to easily sustain at least a hundred people, with the most cutting edge technology at their disposal.

Worst Spy Ever:

When M is grilling Bond at the beginning of the movie about why Bond just blew up Mexico City, it is painfully obvious Bond is lying which forces M to ground him, hindering his objective. Bond really should have brought M in on it – the last film already established Bond could trust him.

Lately there’s been a question as to whether or not we still need to have the Bond franchise, and what it should look like. “Why can’t Bond be a black man?” some say. Others press on and say “Why can’t Bond be a woman?” And it’s really hard to argue against that when you have mediocre movies as evidence.

And that’s what this film is: an average Bond film at best. The film fails in its script and execution, but succeeds in some of its themes, acting, and quiet moments. So what do I think about radically changing the Bond franchise? I’m really against it, but hear me out.

Bond is a depiction of toxic masculinity. He’s an embodiment of it. Those who glorify him as someone to aspire to miss the point entirely. When Bond films are done well, we get the image of a man who can not hold himself together when he has time to himself. So he perpetually endangers his life. The irony is he hates his job. He drinks himself to numb his pain at having love only once, and having that love taken away from him by his work. He uses people for his ends, and his ends are the tool of a government he’s not even that attached to.

The best Bond films explore this. Even this film shows some of it, in that scene at the hotel with the mouse. Bond is a man who needs to be in control at all times, but drinks himself stupid. He is a white male because he is the worst of the white males. He’s a killer, a tool by a higher power playing by old rules, a man who does not value life, he hates every minute of it, but he will never leave it. The end of this film shows him and Swann leaving together, but that’s part of what makes this movie so unsatisfying – it’s not a logical end point and seems tacked on.

The Bond films aren’t glorifying the lifestyle; they’re a warning. At least... they should be.

2.5 / 5

#James bond #007 #spectre #blofeld #Daniel craig #mi6 #m #sam mendes #Ralph fiennes #Christoph waltz #rome #Andrew scott

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holmesoverture · 7 years ago

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Eileen Goes on a Rant, Ritchie Holmes Edition

Recently I saw a gifset of that scene from Sherlock Holmes: A Game of Shadows where Holmes warns Watson that “we’re about to be violated.” I didn’t want to unload on some innocent person’s post, but dang it I’ve been meaning to talk about this for a while and now is as good a time as any.

A Game of Shadows is racist as hell.

On the whole, I do like this movie. I think it’s fun, Mycroft is great and I like screaming about the barely-concealed subtext as much as any other fangirl. But that doesn’t change the fact that it is SUPER SUPER RACIST FFS WHAT IS WRONG WITH YOU ADKFJ;ASLDKFA

*deep breath*

Okay, let’s take a step back. In fact, let’s get some historical perspective, courtesy of the original stories. I’m putting it behind a cut because it got kind of long and angry and sweary, and I didn’t want anyone being subjected to that if they don’t wanna be. Also, spoilers.

First things first. G***y is a racial slur and I don’t ever want to see it in the media again unless you are explaining how terrible it is and how anyone without Romani ancestry should never, ever use it. And no, I don’t want to hear any handwringing about “but historical accuracy!!” It would have been historically accurate for Tiana to be called a negro and worse throughout The Princess and the Frog but I don’t hear anyone advocating for that. Not everything needs to be THAT accurate.

As you may have noticed, media depiction of Roma is either nonexistent or hideously awful. There’s very little in between. As far as I remember, no Roma characters actually appear in any of the original Sherlock Holmes stories, but they are brought up from time to time. In The Speckled Band, the Romani folks who camp out on Roylott’s property are initially regarded as the most likely suspects in Julia Stoner’s murder—or rather, the police regard them as the most likely suspects. Holmes knows better than to let prejudice get in the way of his sleuthing and disregards this unsubstantiated, bigotry-based theory with relative swiftness. In the end, of course, the Roma are shown to be innocent while the white guy is hoist by his own petard.

I think The Speckled Band is the story where Roma are acknowledged most prominently. They rate a quick mention in The Hound of the Baskervilles as well, but it is really just a passing comment from Dr. Mortimer that leads nowhere. If they’re mentioned elsewhere, I can’t remember at the moment. Feel free to chime in with anything I missed.

Basically, ACD seems to play with common prejudices to throw people off the scent and maybe even to show the folly of racial stereotyping and hasty judgments. So Sherlock Holmes stories have a history of bucking stereotypes, even if they never let any Romani characters speak for themselves.

A Game of Shadows, meanwhile, does depict actual Romani characters. How did they do? Errrr…

Yeah, it’s bad. Real bad. When we first meet Simza, our main Romani character, she’s telling fortunes, because no Romani woman has ever had any other occupation ever in history. So right out of the gate we’re in facepalm territory.

@ Guy Ritchie Go directly to jail, do not pass go, do not collect $200.

And then they make it worse in exactly the way you’d expect them to. Virtually all of the Romani characters in this movie, as exemplified by the hilarious scene when Holmes warns Watson of the impending violation, are depicted as cheerfully shameless thieves.

You may regard this picture as both an illustration of the scene in question and a representation of my face whenever I watch this scene.

First off, what happened to the open-minded Holmes who didn’t condemn an entire race based on society’s prejudices? Why is he automatically assuming that they’re about to be robbed just because they’ve driven up to a Romani camp? Canon Holmes would never.

Second, this is one of the most common and harmful stereotypes concerning Romani people. I guess you could argue that the Romani characters here were just messing around or testing Holmes and Watson to see if they could be trusted, but who is going to think that hard about this? The Rom-as-thief stereotype is so pervasive and so widely believed that, even if that was your (incredibly shitty) intention, very few viewers are going to think hard enough about this scene to “get it,” because they don’t think they have to. Of course the Roma are stealing from the white people. That’s what they do.

When was the last time you saw a Romani character who wasn’t a thief? Hell, the first place many of us probably ever heard of the Romani people was Disney’s The Hunchback of Notre Dame, which has plenty of its own problems. And although I can think of a few superheroes with Romani backgrounds—Robin/Nightwing from DC and Scarlet Witch and Quicksilver from Marvel—these characters are whitewashed so often that most people probably don’t even realize they’re supposed to be Roma at all, so that’s no help.

AND SPEAKING OF WHITEWASHING, LET’S DISCUSS NOOMI RAPACE, SHALL WE?

There are few things that annoy me in a movie more than whitewashing, especially in contemporary films that a) should know better and b) have enough budget to, say, creep us the hell out by sticking Chris Evans’ head on Leander Deeny’s body for half the running time but somehow don’t have the resources to hire Asian people to star in shows that steal copiously from Asian culture. That is some BS right there, and A Game of Shadows merrily jumps right into it.

I don’t know about any of the other actors in this movie, but Rapace has stated that she maybe might be part Rom on her father’s side, which, nope, sorry, that’s not cutting any mustard with me. It’s the Johnny Depp-as-Tonto argument all over again. Depp had zero business being in The Lone Ranger and Rapace has zero business being in A Game of Shadows. STOP REACHING SO HARD AND HIRE ACTORS OF COLOR YOU COWARDS.

The one positive (?) I could find in all this is that not all the Romani characters are depicted as villains. Once they quit robbing and swindling our heroes blind (ugh), they’re willing to do just about anything to stop Moriarty, even up to and including risking their own lives. Sure, some of them are crazy extremists who want to blow stuff up and kill people, but just as many, if not more, reject those methods. They may be sticky-fingered stereotypes, but they are sticky-fingered stereotypes with STANDARDS. Which doesn’t make it any better, really, but it doesn’t… make it worse…?

So I mean A Game of Shadows is not The Absolute Worst, but for crying out loud there’s an episode* of The Man from UNCLE that does a better job at depicting Romani characters than this movie did. It’s still racist as all get-out, but they are shown across the board to be decent people. They may be highly suspicious of the white people around them, but it’s shown categorically that they have very good reason to be and also they aren’t fortune tellers and thieves. When a goddamn black-and-white TV show from nineteen sixty fucking four does a better job of portraying a minority than you, you need to go back to the drawing board, smack yourself in the face with it and stop. Just… just stop.

I think I’ve said about all I have to say on this subject. I’m not even going to get into Holmes dressing up as a Chinese man in the beginning. I’m too tired, and the theme of this post turned out to be specifically the depiction of the Romani characters anyway, so that’d feel a bit shoehorned. But that sucked too, in case you had any doubts. And don’t tell me that he had to disguise himself. I could think of a dozen other disguises right now that don’t involve yellowface. That shit’s not cool, yo.

If you’re interested in learning more about Romani stereotypes and how and why you should avoid them like the devil plague, here is a post about them written by a Rom. So if you actually want to be educated on the subject instead of just reading my ranty babbling, there ya go.

TL;DR I love Sherlock Holmes and hate racism, and so should you. Have a nice day.

*It’s called The Terbuf Affair, if you want to check it out. That being said, when I say “an episode,” I mean this one particular episode and no others. Some other Romani characters show up later in the season, in The Bow Wow Affair, and I could write a post twice the length of this one about how physically painful it is.

#ritchie holmes #media analysis #tw racism #eileen goes on a rant

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