#i think my posts are probably longer than people are willing to read lol

[sanitysims]

A Party to Die For, Day 18: Medieval

Welcome to the party: Willow Everille! She's a proper and high maintenance perfectionist. She's also got no idea why she's here. Certainly not willingly, considering she can't even understand what the partygoers are saying or doing. It's odd though. Her memories before arriving are all muddled. The last thing she remembers.. something about horses? Her dress ripping?

made for the halloween cas challenge by @la-llama-sims using @changingplumbob’s wonderful templates!!

i have no idea what class she'd be in medieval times with this outfit 😭 and i pride historical accuracy for some reason so uhh no backstory for you! have some party lore instead

i use name generators occasionally and wow.. willow is such a lovely name and so is everille. yes i do pick names based on how nice they are sue me

pose - @uh0htaj // hair - @aharris00britney // necklace - @strangegrapefruit // dress - @surely-sims // cas background (and the medieval & fantasy mods list you should definitely check out!! so detailed and so cool) - @flowermilksims

[toxintouch]

so I found your post about what if the cult that raised Unnamed MC was one of Vere's old cults and I just had a few thoughts. a Deicide Vere flavored thoughts.

(also I apologize in advance because this was a lot longer than I planned on it being lmao)

what if MC was meant to eventually be sacrificed? like, in an attempt to bring Vere back or something along those lines. and the MC knew they were going to be sacrificed; it probably played a decent factor in why they ran.

so how would MC react to finding out that Vere was the very deity that they grew up worshipping, had grown up knowing that they would eventually be sacrificed to him in a vain attempt to bring him back?

maybe the Devout Follower part of them hadn't been snuffed out by the time they met Vere. maybe all the old habits they tried to leave behind started to come back after being face-to-face with their god. maybe, in a scenario where something, or someone, would have to be sacrificed in order to remove the collar, they would decide to be almost exactly what the cult raised them to be: a sacrifice, but to free him instead of bringing him back?

or, alternatively, the Devout Follower part of them had been completely snuffed out by the time they met Vere. how would they react to finding out that, after all that running, they somehow managed to end up within arms reach of the very thing they had been running from? what if they choose to run again because of it, just up and leaving Eridia, leaving Vere still chained to the Senobium?

and of course: how would Vere react? MC being an ex-follower of his is one thing, but them being an ex-follower and an eventual sacrifice? someone who once fervently worshipped him and was, at least at some point in their life, fully willing to lay down their life for him with no guarantee it would even lead to anything?

(or how would he react to the "MC just fucking leaves" scenario specifically? sure, Normal/Canon Vere would be going through it, especially if him and MC were close, but Deicide Vere? yeah I think that would be his breaking point)

I don't mind the length at all!! I'm the last person who would ever complain, many ppl will attest to my long DMs, etc. In fact, thank you for taking the time to write out your ask and tysm taking an interest in my beloved Deicide Flavored Vere! ˗ˋˏ ♡ ˎˊ˗ Sorry it took all day to respond, I wanted to be able to set aside proper time to read your message and consider! :3 You're picking up what I was thinking abt for sure with your sacrifice train of thought! Though I'll admit I was thinking more of MC being a less literal sacrifice - chosen as the conduit or the one who is supposed to find Vere and bring him back to his people now that he has disappeared.

Oh, but the literal sacrifice angle is juicy. And less convoluted/more clear than how I was trying to make the pieces fit, when I made that post? I let myself get stuck on the thought that I wanted MC to feel...fashioned for Vere, but I was thinking, perhaps, too logically & not cult-y enough, lol.

✦ Perhaps MC thought - when they were a child? - that they would be alive to meet Vere when he came back, but once they became older they realized that: no, they were to be a sacrifice to bring him back. They had to be ready to die for him. And they are only acting as Oracle in stead of their deity until they become strong enough to divine his return, which they (via the cult's teachings) believe will require them to sacrifice themself to him, to die...

But once they realize that their curse is a curse and not a god-given ability that's been granted to them... What else isn't true?

✦ Or perhaps they realize that to be a sacrifice is to die for their god at the same time they realize the truth about their hands, like you suggested, and they knew that they had to flee for the sake of their life and for the sake of finding freedom. They finally saw the gilded cage they had been kept in.

I definitely want to further explore the branching thoughts & paths of Sacrifice!Unnamed grappling with their Devotion vs Apostasy, but I don't want to keep you waiting too long for an answer so I will just resolve to make relevant posts as I consider more/write more! Until then:

✦ I think, even if they want to say that they have left all of their devotion to their god behind...old habits die hard. Things slip through the cracks. No matter how tightly you think you've closed the door, a sliver of a shadow can still find its way into the room where you thought you were safe and alone.

✦ In this MC's mind, they have always been Vere's.

✦ And Vere... [incoming POV shift to match the original Deicide fic]

His own autonomy is important to him, yes, but he's a hypocrite at heart. He's a glutton. He craves power. And he craves you.

He didn't put the collar on his own neck.

But you did.

You belong to him; you were made for him.

You devoted yourself to him, chained yourself willingly and he's not about to allow you to take all the oaths and prayers and the sweet, secret whispers you've given to him back.

(Oh, but he’d have been a kind god to you. Eventually. In that other time, that fictional reality where life is fair. You can earn his kindness, but never his mercy. It isn't in him to be merciful.)

You can't take your devotion back. He has a taste for it now. The only way he's letting it die is if he devours it whole.

And how had he not recognized the taste of himself already on you? How had he failed to notice, so distracted by your enticing promise, that he'd already laid claim? He's been woven into your life from the very start. He didn't even have to go to your town to demand you. You came to him.

(He'll reward them, still, the dregs of his followers – a quick death when he kills them for leaving their hand prints all over what they knew was his, for the suffering they inflicted on you that was his to mete out – suffering that was his to bless you will, as punishment or otherwise.)

And the depth of your devotion? That presses into him, something tender and cutting, unfamiliar or at least long forgotten. He'll reward you once he's satisfied with your repentance. Once you've renewed your faith in all the ways he sees fit.

(How shall be react to your willingness to die for him? It's been so long since he's had something to lose...)

✦ Deicide!Vere is such a mess of feelings. I think he would have a lot of trouble deciding what to do about Sacrifice!MC being willing (currently or previously) to die for him.

✦ The complexity of the matter is that: Were it anyone else, he wouldn't hesitate. He'd be pleased to throw them into harm's way if it meant being free. But Deicide!Vere has been lonely, searching for something - someone - like him for so long. I think he sees the potential of Sacrifice!MC as the one person outside of himself that he could really treasure. (AKA love) They're the "thing" he wanted most, before he lost his freedom. Being confronted with a situation where he may have to sacrifice one of his greatest desires for the other? Even he's not sure what he would do, if the situation arose as such. So he pushes that thought and that feeling away. My vision of Vere is that, though he is somewhat scheming, he is also impulsive and driven by hedonism. For regular Vere, I'm sure he pushes it away until it has to be an impulse decision. For Deicide Vere? This is the shittiest, no-win scenario. Low luck stat really comin' thru.

✦ Re: MC just fucking leaves scenario: I think you're right that something about that breaks him. The rejection. The idea that they've found him unworthy, not the other way around. But most of all: the abandonment. That they would leave him to suffer, presumably forever.

He's their god, yet it's them who's sentenced him to hell.

✦ Another thought I often consider: MC succeeds in removing his collar and even manages to survive doing it. But they don't chose to stay with him. He's been mistrusting of them, too cold and harsh and unwilling to see them as an equal (or at least: unwilling to admit that he does). And so, they lay the collar at his feet and leave. One last supplication, the final prayer from their lips being: "Goodbye, Vere." And the door is firmly shut, this time. He's free but he's back where he started. Searching. Alone. (He knows they're out there somewhere, but they've surpassed him in order to free him. If he hides in the shadow, they hide - they live in the places that match their golden veins, and he can't find them there.)

✦ He thought he could find them anywhere. But he's lost their scent....

I know my reply was a little bit messy, but hopefully I've answered in a way that was fun to read! and maybe even scratched some of the Deicide!Vere itch for anyone who, like me, is constantly infected. Ty again for joining me in my little brainrot corner!

p.s. lmk if i didn't answer/can answer anything more specific that u were hoping for an answer to, it's been kinda a week for my brain!

[inkedinshadows]

Hello lovely people! 🌸

(snippet of fanfic at the end)

Hi everyone! I'm not exactly new here, but I've never really posted anything before. I lurked in the dark, sometimes appearing in someone's comments, but mainly silently devouring fanfic for Azriel because I'm such a sucker for our shadowsinger 🖤

But now that I've got a lot of free time on my hands, I've decided to give a shot at writing something of my own and share it with anyone who'd be willing (and kind enough) to read it.

And while I work on the final scenes of my first fic, I thought it could be a nice idea if maybe I introduced myself a little a bit? I don't know, maybe no one really cares, but maybe someone does? So here it is.

🌸 I'm Italian, so forgive me if there are some mistakes or some weird stuff, but don't feel bad about calling me out on it so I can improve ✨️ it's my first time writing something other than an essay or dissertation in English after all

🌸 My name is Yennifer (not very Italian, I know), but you can call me Yen or Yenni. Whatever you like works tbh

🌸 I started writing when I was 10 and the first thing I ever wrote was a crossover for Harry Potter and Narnia, in which Peter and Ginny ended up together. I actually rewrote the whole thing at 13, then again at 15, and then I started writing a sequel. When I tell you I made that my whole personality for a few years, I mean it

🌸 I studied Foreign Languages and Literatures in university (and hopefully it helped with mastering English enough to use it for fanfics) and I recently graduated. I'm currently waiting and praying for my admission to the Master program

🌸 I've always wanted to be a writer, but since now I'm old enough (22 lol) to realize I'm not sure I've got what it takes to plan, write and finish (they tell me this is an important part of it) a whole ass book, my dream job is translator: reading, writing and languages all in one. What else could I possibly want?

🌸 My favorite authors are Jay Kristoff, TJ Klune and Jojo Moyes. If we stick to classics, I love Oscar Wilde and a few Italian dudes probably not many know

🌸 I love the color blue in all its shades, so I like to think it as fate that Azriel's color is cobalt 💙

🌸 I am OBSESSED with music. I can't live without it and I'm not even exaggerating. If I'm not listening to music, then there's still music playing in my mind and it never shuts up. Sometimes it can even be a bit frustrating. But whether it's real or just in my head, music is playing 24/7 around here

🌸 In case you couldn't tell, I particularly like this flower emoji. I just think it's really cute and a nice change from the usual lil red heart

Now, before I wrap this up, here's the little snippet I promised. Enjoy!

His shadows lunged forward as if they wanted to reassure her, but he held them back. He approached her slowly, stopping just in front of her. He crouched down next to her and waited for her to meet his eyes before speaking.

“Let me help,” he said, unable to hide his concern any longer. He wanted to erase that haunted look from her eyes and he’d do anything to make her feel safe and protected again.

“You’re not alone, Y/N,” he continued, his tone gentle. In his mind, he was cursing himself for not having thought that she might experience this kind of problem. “I could help you. We can do it at your pace and stop whenever you wish.”

She stared into his eyes and it felt like an eternity passed before she nodded. Relief flooded his chest at her trust, her willingness to finally let someone help her.

[...]

Tears were streaming down her face and she sobbed, drawing her legs close to her chest and wrapping her arms around them. She began to rock back and forth and maybe she was begging for it to stop, to never start, maybe she was screaming or calling out for someone, maybe she wasn’t saying anything at all.

As that dark freezing water closed over her and pulled her under, she knew the pain would come soon. And there was nothing she could do to stop it. She was drowning and there was nothing she could do, nothing she could do, nothing she could…

A tender, gentle touch on her cheek. From far away, someone called her name. And among the chaos, the darkness, the crippling fear, she saw a pair of hazel eyes, soft and yet concerned. A male voice assuring her that she was safe, that he was with her.

She wanted to believe that voice, but the water was pulling her under, cold and dark and terrifying. And yet that gentle voice was still talking to her, those hazel eyes still looking into hers, and she tried to hold on to them, to not let it all slip away.

And then someone took her hand and suddenly she felt something thumping beneath her palm. A heartbeat, she realized. Life.

Heartbeat meant life. Not death, not pain.

Life.

Alright, I really hope you liked this and that it sparked your curiosity just enough to stick around to read the whole thing. I'll post it in the next few days, I just have to write the end.

Whether you've read the whole post or just skipped to the snippet, thank you so much and hopefully I'll see you again! 💙🌸🙈

[synnthamonsugar]

1.

On that point on drifter being a reckless flirt and how it's lost in fanon that you added to the ask.

It disappoints me how much that happens, because I think it could be an amazing part of his character to explore when writing fics or making fanart or even just in discussions like these. I don't have the time or the skill to write like that myself, but having a character unable to read his affection in some boy-who-cried-wolf type way would be the type of conflict a good fic could use, even if it's only a short one. People seem to think that by acknowledging that he's willing to be that brash with everyone, especially in acknowledging that he's canonically pansexual, they're going to lose part of the story, as if it's no longer real romance. There are so many interesting interactions that you can get just from that trait, yet it seems to be the most frequently overlooked one.

2.

The other thing that stood out to me in your response was the mention of him being reduced to a derogatory Asian stereotype. I'm surprised that I hadn't thought of it that way. I'm not Asian, so it's sadly easier for me to overlook it. I'm glad you made that point, it definitely puts something to words that had been bothering me so much about the way some people portray him. I definitely see it now thinking about some of the more problematic depictions I've seen of him. I think it's also why characters in other media with similar complexity & personality traits aren't watered down to negatives the way that he seems to be so often.

3.

Allow me to get somewhat off track and into just Drifter and the community for a moment here, because this strings together some thoughts that I already have. And, thank you for your patience in reading all this, I'm glad to have somewhere to put my thoughts. Again, I'm not Asian, so I probably can't articulate this as well as someone who is might, but I'll try.

The critical comments that I have seen about his appearance, though not directly stating race, have sometimes seemed to be coming from racial biases. He's a normal guy. Handsome, even. When people talk about how they don't understand why anyone is attracted to him it comes off strange to me. Sure, he may not be your type, and that's completely normal lol, but to rip on him as if he's particularly ugly is odd.

That, and the naming. When I've read fics related to him people very often switch his name back to Eli. I could be wrong, but I thought the name he had used the longest was Wu Ming? A few fics choosing Eli wouldn't seem weird to me, but the fact that I have never seen one use Wu makes it stand out differently. I may just be overthinking at that point, I don't entirely know, but the more I see it the stranger it seems. I don't think it's wrong to use/continue using Eli, after all it is canonically one of his names, it's just that it's so heavily preferred, other that drifteris shippers liking Germaine because she calls him that.

Again, I think it would be more of an opportunity for character depth, given that he had a lot of foundational (both negative and positive) experiences under that name. Is there lore where he's discussed not using it? Because that may make some more sense.

That may say more about that parts of the community that I've interacted with and the authors that I've read from more than it speaks on issues within the community as a whole. If that is the case, it's on me to find the better parts of it, and I will.

Again, thanks for the space to think aloud. I appreciate you & the others that've read through the other post taking the time for it. I'm glad to be able to have a meaningful discussion about it.

Thanks again for another excellent message. Hope you don’t mind me sharing my thoughts on what you have to say.

People seem to think that by acknowledging that he’s willing to be that brash with everyone, especially in acknowledging that he’s canonically pansexual, they’re going to lose part of the story, as if it’s no longer real romance. There are so many interesting interactions that you can get just from that trait, yet it seems to be the most frequently overlooked one.

Amatonormativity in action! A lot of people conflate flirting, promiscuity, and infidelity — never mind those are three separate things and that the first two DON’T imply unfaithfulness (flirting doesn’t have an inherent sexual or romantic component, someone can have many partners and not be a cheater). So people avoid writing Drifter as flirty or experienced in love because they incorrectly believe that will de-value their OTP.

OTOH I wonder if there’s an element of wanting to avoid pan/biphobic stereotypes of pan/bi people being flirts. Which I consider well-meaning but misguided because “flirtatious” is pretty harmless by the standards of pan/bi stereotypes, because (see above comment about flirting not being inherently romantic/sexual) and also because one example of someone fitting a stereotype isn’t as harmful as a pattern where ALL the characters belonging to a demographic act a certain way, or have certain experiences. Mara is word-of-god bi, has only had one canonical relationship, and isn’t flirty at all (sorry to the Mara/Petra and Mara/Eris truthers, I see the vision but I don’t think there’s even subtext for it, at least not as a reciprocal thing in Petra’s case), and Shaxx who is implicitly bi/pan but whose attraction isn’t a defining feature of his character ... or even really a thing at all excluding a few lore tabs.

(As an aside, I’m going to use this moment to shill for @/phthalology, whose Drifter characterization is some of my favorite of all time and hearkens back to the Forsaken era of Drifter as a frontiersman-meets-showman, someone who is funny without being jokey, someone who wears a mask with little intent to take it off, but is overall deeply human and sympathetic without feeling cloying. I can’t recommend her shippy or gen Drifter fic enough.)

The other thing that stood out to me in your response was the mention of him being reduced to a derogatory Asian stereotype.

When people talk about how they don’t understand why anyone is attracted to him it comes off strange to me. Sure, he may not be your type, and that’s completely normal lol, but to rip on him as if he’s particularly ugly is odd.

I can’t speak authoritatively on this because I am not East Asian nor a person of color but the insults to Drifter’s appearance (when he is – by any measure – a conventionally attractive man) leaves a bad taste in my mouth as well. Especially when paired with the ubiquitous “rat” insult which is racist & xenophobic (used against PoC, immigrants and other minority populations in dehumanization campaigns generally, and against Japanese people in WWII-era propaganda specifically).

And yes, I suspect most don’t use it with racist intent, but people forget that one can be accidentally racist and that accidental racism is still racism – it’s not a world-ending thing, it doesn’t mean a person is irredeemable, make right, stop saying it, and move on. But it doesn’t even make sense as a “neutral” insult. In its common usage, ��rat” means “snitch” or “turn-coat”, and Drifter has never told on the Guardian or Eris or Orin or anyone else that I know of so … why “rat”? Who’s he “ratted out”? I wish it and its relative phrases (e.g. “moonrat”) would be retired from in-game/fandom use, but after four years of call-outs I have little hope for change.

As for Drifter’s pseudonyms, I can’t say I’ve seen that much “Eli” in fic (though I also haven’t been keeping up). “Germaine” seems to be the most popular one, though your original point of “why not call him Wu Ming” still stands.

Germaine was the name he went by in his earliest years (first part of the Man With No Name lorebook, when Drifter guarded the settlement of Eaton), so there’s perhaps a good-faith reason that people call him that - it was his “first”, and the name associated with one of the best pieces of writing in the game.

Wu Ming shows up later in A Man With No Name, when Drifter is running a bar at the foot of Felwinter Peak and negotiating with the Iron Lords. Of note, Wu Ming literally means “no name” - I do not speak Mandarin so I can’t speak for the precise connotations of it, but I can see why people who are aware might avoid what essentially means “anonymous”. But I don't know that most people are aware of it, so it's odd that it sees little use compared to the others.

Eli is one of his more recent pseudonyms and the name that Orin knew him by. I suspect this name goes overlooked by the fandom because the content it was in was cut from the game; you’d only know of it if you read some of the old Gambit Prime lore tabs on Ishtar Collective.

All that being said, I think there’s a lot of interesting, overlooked story potential exploring his different names. Or just like, encountering people from different eras of his life and being called different things. (IIRC, Saladin called him Wu Ming when they met which was a cool throw-back and a good example of this idea.) If I had to hazard a guess, a lot of recent writing leans into Drifter "settling down" so I suppose the people writing those kinds of stories don't want to lean into his past as an itinerant wanderer of many names.

[ryuichirou]

Hello!! I'm too shy to send you this out of anon, but I wanted to let you know how much I admire you. I'm a TWST artist myself, and I like certain problematic tropes and pairings. I also want to draw nsfw of my favorite ships, but I'm too afraid of doing it. The anti movement in fandoms is too overwhelming and I'm scared of people going after me. I don't mind kids yelling at me for drawing teens doing what most teens do nowadays (like sex) but everything has escalated so far that people are willing to doxx you and ruin your life over what you ship or draw, and that's what I'm scared of. I know that you probably get nasty messages and people bothering you, but seeing you and Katsu continue creating regardless of what people might say gives me encouragement to post whatever I want. And you seem to be a sunshine of a person, not to mention that your art is amazing. I wish I could post daily as you but sometimes I'm a little bit lazy and I yet need more confidence even if I've been drawing since I was a teen. Anyways, sorry if this got longer, but thank you for contributing amazing art to the TWST fandom. (I'm also into Hetalia and SnK!!! Seeing that you like DenNor made my day haha)

Sending you and Katsu my best regards!

First of all, thank you so much for your support and for your kindness, Anon. And thank you for messaging us at all about this topic, even if anonymously. I think this is a very important thing to talk about, and your message honestly made us kind of emotional. It was a bad idea to read it before going to bed lol

Just like you said, the anti movement is honestly psychotic. I feel like a lot of people who participate in it simply don’t realise the weight of their actions and words, which make sense, because the majority of them are very young; and the ones that are adults are usually quite deranged and dangerous. It’s not rare for their actions to lead to horrible consequences, but I guess this is nothing new. It used to be overbearing conservative parents, now it’s some kids with too much free time. That being said, these days we see more and more people who ignore, criticize or ridicule the antis for their hypocrisy, and this is very nice to see.

We really do get quite a lot of hate, but honestly, we used to get even more stupid comments, even though we haven’t been hated with such passion before. But still, the support we’re getting now is also much more impactful and vocal than what we used to get. There also are people who aren’t even into our ships, but would defend us just because of what this whole thing represents: their own right to do whatever they want when it comes to fiction.

Our personal thing is that we’re just way too spoiled and self-indulgent with stuff that we like. Even if it meant that we’d never get hate, we would be miserable if we had to restrict ourselves for the sake of others; and I know that because we tried. So the worst thing that could happen is that we’ll stop posting, but we’ll still continue creating, because it gives us too much joy to give it up just because someone has no friends at school and wants to impress other antis with their sick (moronic) post when they completely miss the point of our content and ignore our 18+ warnings.

So yeah, I hope you’ll remember what you love about drawing and keep doing whatever you want, even if you don’t post it. But I also think that, if you’re comfortable at any point, you should also post it. You can create an account with no link to your regular acc and your personal info whatsoever and post whatever you want there. You could still get hate, but at least it will be safer and without any high stakes, although I understand you might feel fear because people could recognise your artstyle and connect the dots.

Also preventive bans work wonderfully. If we stumble upon a post that has certain aggressive messages (you know the ones), we simply block everyone who interacted with that post. It takes time, but it’s worth it, I think. Hell, people use “call-out” (because there is nothing to call out, we’ve stated everything plainly ourselves) posts with us to block people.

Also also, ironically, ignoring the hate also kind of helps… I know it’s easy to say, and it’s not a 100% guarantee, but we just think that people are more prone to attacking you if you react to hate in any way. So the best thing is literally to just block and delete it. Oh, and always report it if it gets aggressive – this could do nothing, but it could also bitchslap them out of nowhere lol

Anyways… I am very grateful and glad if we could give you any type of reassurance and comfort with our posts. I hope to see your stuff one day, and I hope there’ll be more people who post whatever they want, so fandoms can become healthier again.

And I’m very happy you like Hetalia and SnK too, especially DenNor! <3

Thank you again from both of us, and I hope you’re having a good day.

[hergrandplan]

nina! for the fic ask game: 📥 🌝💻

Thank you so much for sending these <333 (also every time I see your username I get reminded that I want to rewatch Agents of Shield)

📥 What is your fave fic to receive comments/messages on?

I mean, like any writer I love any comment BUT right now, it has to be You're the risk I want to take. That's my proudest work so far, and I was kind of scared of posting it because I knew people were excited about it, and I was afraid to let them down, but the support has been overwhelming and every time someone comments I'm just glad I didn't stay up until 1 am on a Sunday night for nothing. also bc every comment so far has been so unbelievably sweet <3333

🌝 Who is one character you haven’t yet written for that you would like to?

Lol it's the way I almost sent you this one. But that's a tough one, because honestly, when it comes to Young Royals I don't really feel the need to write for any other character than Wille and Simon. Don't get me wrong, I love fics that center around other characters; August is really interesting to read about, and I love Felice, but I don't have the urge to actually write for them? Though, out of all YR characters, the one I'd be most inclined for to write would probably be Felice, so maybe at some point?

Edit right before I posted: ACTUALLY I'd love to write something about Fitz someday. My favorite Scottish scientist with brain damage and his wife that taught me the true meaning of hurt/comfort <33333

💻 Do you do research for your fics? What’s the deepest dive you’ve done?

Yep! I do absolutely. I love researching fics, to be honest, and even though I don't always stick to reality, it's good to know how far from reality I can deviate and still keep it realistic. I think, so far, my deepest dive has been using google streetview to walk from one place in Stockholm to the other, to see if the characters could feasibly make that walk in 10 minutes, because Google Maps said it was longer.

ask me about my fics <3

[verishere]

Okay I'm really really sorry if this is all answered by your posts (I really want to read them but my head is Not Well Today so I promise I'll read them and comment later) but 3, 4 and 10 for Vlorindul and Nrolin Nylyradon

None of these are answered by my posts, and I get not being in the write place to read them (after all I did I am no longer in the right place to write them, or in the right place to finish the poem I was writing them for). The posts mostly only talk about the characters during the time of Blonicku, not before or after that and mostly about their role in that kingdom.

Slight backstory, all the Elders were created at almost the same time by the Nuthri (I've switched suffixes to be prefixes now for almost everything, so thats the thrinnu now. I did this for poetry reasons.) and they were created right next to each other, otherwise alone. Also, I made up almost every response here because of your ask, I didn't have it already made.

Also, it's Nulyradon, but given I wrote Nylyradon in the post you probably saw as a typo I get it lol. Nulyradon is just Lyradonnu, I moved the nu. (These two are Liam Nulyradon's grandparents, for reference).

3: What were their first impressions of each other? How does that compare to their impressions of each other now?

Both of their first impressions were a mixture of curiosity and fear, but to be fair that was their impression of everything. They would eventually begin speaking to each other telepathically (spoken language hasn't been invented yet) and decide to explore together, but their first impressions of each other from that would be Nyrolin thinking that Vlorindul is too cowardly and quiet (or the mental equivalent) yet she kind of finds it charming for some reason. Remember though that they were littererly born twenty minutes ago by this point, so neither would have the emotional intelligence to understand the charming part lol.

Vlorindul would think she is far braver than he is, willing to explore more and faster, but in reality he is just more cautious- he is willing, he just wants to prepare. He won't understand that about himself yet however, instead deciding to try and force himself to follow her example.

Both of them find the other hot, but they DEFINITELY would not yet understand that instinct just yet. (Remember, Elders were born naked just as babies are)

4: How would they describe each other if asked? Physically? In personality?

This one is going to take a fucking WHILE so I am going to leave the "in personality" for a later reblog, I have little brain left (I wrote 11 and a half lines of poetry in the last six hours along with all those posts, I am fucking drained)

Physically, Nrolin would describe Vlorindul as tall, broad shouldered by Numen standards (still slim by numorn standards), with shorter fur along his extremeties and very thick fluffier fur along his abdomen and head. The fur is very light grey, except for a few lines along his waist and chest where it turns white and a few along his hips of much darker fur. She would do this in a very textbook impartial manner as I have done, as her real answer would be very complimentary, and she blushes very easy. If asked by someone she'd be willing to answer (not a lot of people) she would talk about how those lines of darker fur highlight his features and how comfortable the softer part of his fur is, how the shorter fur along his limbs highlight muscles, and idk what else idk how to describe someone in a way that's meant to be attractive. (I need to write more prose, I'd like to be better at that, but in poetry all i have to say is "beautiful" and be done since I don't write love poems so I'm not good at it lol)

Vlorindul: "She's broad shouldered (he refuses to accept evidence from hundreds of other Numorn he has met that she is actually only slightly above average, by Numen standards she has very broad shoulders) her bright red hair reaches down just below the shoulder blade accentuates her back and shoulders, and her eyes almost glow when she smiles. She's about an inch taller than me, and her laughter is like a choir of children."

Vlorindul is far more willing to talk about things, for all the talk about her being braver than him lol. Also! Practice! Wrote good compliments! Yes!

10: What is one major difference between them?

Neither of them are shy at all, it's just that Vlorindul is quieter than she is. He still talks to people, he is glad to meet people, but he is very quiet when he does, while she is extremely talkative at pretty much all times. If they both meet someone new, that person is likely to get a solid 10 sentences out of him in a 5 minute window while getting at least 40 out of her. It makes for a stark contrast, him being interpreted as an extreme introvert while she is as an extreme extrovert.

[haveyoureadthisfantasybook]

People might be sending things that you consider science fiction and not fantasy because in some countries/cultures, science fiction is actually considered to be a sub-genre of fantasy! It’s a commonly held belief in a lot of former Soviet countries, for example. (I don’t really agree with it 100% myself. Like it really used to annoy me as a kid tbh, but I’m more whatever about it now, I guess, lol.)

Just thought it might be an explanation for some of those seemingly weird suggestions!

I’m aware of this, and it’s certainly true that the genres are closely related (certainly much more closely than theorists of science fiction often admit) and at times overlapping. thus far, however, the submissions that have raised genre questions have all been things that are either

more or less clearly neither fantasy nor sci-fi (including one mistaken submission),

things where there is at least potentially a case to be made for fantasy (I can see, for example, where the Acorna submission was coming from, insofar as the series does include unicorn people), or

Harry Harrison’s The Stainless Steel Rat, which might have fantasy elements that aren’t apparent to me from the blurb / reviews, though I suspect it does not.

they’ve also all involved anglophone texts, some of which are untranslated, which obviously doesn’t preclude the possibility of people outside the anglophone world (and who might draw genre boundaries differently) reading them but does make me suspect that that’s not what’s going on.

I should also maybe at this point note something that‘s become apparent to me about my own sense of genre boundaries as I’ve gone through the submissions, namely:

I am willing to be quite flexible about the boundary between “fantasy” and “literary fiction”, as long as the literary fiction in question has some fantastic elements — I would probably accept Macedonio Fernández’s Museo de la Novela de la Eterna, for example, which is mainly modernist metafiction but does involve literally, physically rotating the city of Buenos Aires several degrees around an axis by unexplained supernatural means.

I am essentially unwilling to be flexible about the boundary between “fantasy” and “science fiction”, unless the science fiction in question explicitly has magic in it (Jack Vance’s Dying Earth would qualify on these grounds even though it’s implied that the magic is simply science that’s no longer understood), and not just inexplicable alien powers or classic sci-fi psychic powers.

re point 1, I wavered on Die Verwandlung / The Metamorphosis, but having accepted it I think I'm probably likely (though not guaranteed) to accept anything relevant — that is, standalone (and published alone) prose fiction with explicit magical or supernatural elements — published after Galland’s Les Mille et une nuits (1704-1717). there are exceptions — I probably wouldn’t take Voltaire’s philosophical novel Zadig, for example, for all that it does include an angelic visitation — but if you’re looking at an eighteenth- or nineteenth-century text and thinking, “this feels like fantasy”, feel free to send it in (especially if you explain what the relevant magical / supernatural elements are).

(as an aside, this is also all very funny because despite the influence of certain pregenre fantasy (to borrow Jamie Williamson’s term) on early proto-sci-fi — by way of Romanticism and the gothic — historically the trajectory in English was the opposite: popular fantasy was a marginal subset of what was being published in pulps that focused on more or less realist (albeit often unrealistic) adventure stories, on sci-fi, and on horror. the boundary I’m delineating is very much a post hoc one even in an anglophone context.)

[todayisafridaynight]

I genuinely can never thank you enough for the past year. I can't express how much it's meant to me to be understood and have my energy reciprocated with someone on the same wavelength. Although I've been in the fandom for quite a bit longer than most people writing in, and longer than you, even, I can't remember the last time I felt this welcome and motivated. A TRULY embarrassing amount of my work's just been fueled by "oh Snap's gonna wanna see that," and of course that circle's expanded since then, but it probably wouldn't have had I not met stream chat through you, aaaaaand if I'm honest you're still up there... lol...

It's always, always a highlight of my day to see your your work, your posts, and your responses, whether they're to me or to others, and it's always a highlight of my week to be able to make it to streams! You're a huge inspiration for me, particularly in terms of your work ethic across the board. I always come out of streams energized and feeling like I can actually finish things, and usually this is hubris, but it's gotta count for something.

Not to be dramatic, but you kinda changed my life, no exaggeration. I still really can't see myself the way I was two or three years ago not just calling it quits after some of my Gaiden experiences... lol... but I'm still around, and like always, I wanna be able to write in and interact as much as I used to sometime soon. Thanks for everything! I hope RGGS continues to deliver so we can stay in touch :3

i cant thank YOOOOU enough for the past Xsome months or so. feelins ABSOLUTELY mutual in that i wasnt sure anyone else would really be into talkin bout rgg as you and i have (or would be willing to read my. miles-long scrolls of bullshit LMAO) so it's been real fun gettin to know you an everyone and chattin !!

most bafflin thin to ever to think i have good work ethic, i feel like ive been behind everyone for the past couple weeks and even with the things i do make it's really not up to snuff. it's always nice to hear that's not supposedly exactly the case :) I Suppose :^)

rgg community (like any community lbr) can be. An Experience, esp for someone with a position like yours. so im glad i can make it worth to hang around somewhat LOL

regardless, i always look forward to you next ask or the next time you leave tags on a post i make. if i ever bother making a post again ☠️☠️

[atlasllm]

I know you're blog title is probably exaggerating, but I wanna know exactly what moments and what about them made you cry. Hold nothing back. I'm willing to read a Bible's worth of this stuff. I love hearing about how people emotionally connect to pieces of fiction in a positive way, especially if it's something near and dear to me like Sonic.

nope i am not exaggerating in the slightest lol, i've kept count for the past year

That being said, I don't remember ALL of each moments that made me cry, but I answered a similar question a year ago (back then the count was only 6 times)

I cried because Sonic reminds me of a very obscure comfort character of mine and one of the 2 people I talk to who know about this character confirm that he is exactly like him, which hits deep because they both are optimistic punk guitarists who would definitely fit My Chemical Romance's "Danger Days" album due to their life philosophies

I made a new friend recently One of my friends has been a Sonic fan longer than I've been alive, and since I got into Sonic post-Forces they said that they were glad the first game I can experience be released is Sonic Frontiers because of how massively amazing it is in comparison to how the franchise has been for the past decade

Catching up with a friend since they're working and I'm in college and they allowed me to infodump on Discord call about Sonic Frontiers... I forget WHY exactly it made me cry at the moment but like, god this game was so good and I was only WATCHING gameplay

I think more recent ones I remember have been:

Outright crying because it took me so many hours to finally beat the Master King Koco Trial (I have video of this but I don't think I'm ready to use vids of me crying for internet clout yet LMAO)

Hearing I'm Here (Revisited) for the first time and hearing the instrumental + Kellin Quinn's vocals as Eggman aims the rifle, seeing Sonic grow so powerful he defeats The End in one shot, floats through space unconscious, and lands back down onto the planet okay and finally able to be with his friends again

I'm not 100% sure about these ones, but I guarantee-ish moments I have cried were:

Watching Penny "Snapcube" Parker play Sonic Frontiers (like I've said, this is the first Sonic game I've actively followed coming out + would have just watched let's plays before realizing it looked so fun to play that I wanted it for Christmas) and her playing the entire Chaos Island storyline where Sonic admits Tails is basically his little brother and he'll miss him when he goes out on his own adventure

Sage's sacrifice + hearing Dear Father

That shot in the original ending (Penny played Hard Mode so it was getting me antsy enough to see what the ending would be after the bullet hell section) where it's just Sonic flying through the air like a shooting star; the shot of Sonic being a literal star coupled with the specific part of I'm With You that plays just looked so incredibly beautiful

While once again I'm not sure if I can name specific moments, but Sonic Frontiers is genuinely one of the best experiences I've had. For the longest time I've only played free-to-play MMOs like Wizard101 and Toontown (and also Minecraft Bedrock edition), and while I have yet to catch up to Wizard101, I've never really gotten attatched to triple A games.

Watching Penny play Sonic Frontiers, after ages of hearing that "oh this old Sonic game is the best" "eugh these past few Sonic games are terrible" and seeing a human just genuinely enjoy this fresh new game, especially as the first Sonic game that I as a newer fan was seeing experience in real time, just filled me with so much joy. Seeing each update come out to make it better and better, and seeing Frontiers completely blow itself out of the water and put Sonic on-par with other triple A games instead of being seen as a joke 24/7, it made the experience of Sonic Frontiers being my first real Sonic game so much more sweeter. And heck, it's incredibly accessible! Wizard101 is basically a card game simulator and even I with a keyboard was able to 100% it, play hard mode, and complete the DLC!

I think that in itself, seeing Frontiers as my first Sonic game and seeing how good it is, just makes the entire experience really emotional for me. How so many of my friends who've been fans longer than me are excited I get to experience the same joy they felt when they first became Sonic fans. It's like seeing an old friend that you haven't seen for a long time mixed with the sheer joy of waking up on Christmas morning during your childhood.

I have a lot of feelings about this game ;w;

EDIT: OH OH that part where Sonic grabs the giant sword and slashes Knight in half coupled with the ending of Find Your Flame 100% made me cry too

[theashemarie]

for the fanfic ask meme: 6, 10, 13, 15!

6. Are there any fics from others you reread all the time?

Okay so generally my rule of thumb is to not read fic from fandoms I’m actively working in so I don’t get swept up in fanon interpretations, but I’ve broken that rule with Rise so here we go.

(Please note that I haven’t read MUCH. Anything longer than a few chapters takes me a long time to get through because I’m busy and rereading my own fic all the time lol Also I’m picky.)

warmly in the dark by bobtheacorn is probably my fav fic in the archive right now. the characterization is sublime and it’s infinitely rereadable. Dialogue is stupid good too.

Under Pressure by ParvumAutomaton is one I find myself constantly revisiting despite the fact that the conceit has a major flaw (there are no natural lakes, especially ones big enough for caves and cave diving, in Manhattan). I think it’s BECAUSE of this weird glitch that I find it so charming. The author clearly knows their stuff when it comes to cave diving, so much so that the lack of underwater caves in Manhattan missed their notice, and the knowledge of diving is so well rounded and interesting that I found myself willing to look past the obvious. Plus, the plot is super interesting and the last chapter or two really grabbed me in ways that make me think. I reread this one a LOT.

10. Is there a fic that got a different response than you were expecting?

Honestly, Very Thoughtful… I get super nervous every time I post a chapter of that fic and the response has been so so positive. The amount of comments and direct messages I get with people sharing their own experiences or letting me know how seen they feel is honestly super overwhelming. I never thought such a small fic would gain as much traction as it has.

Also I guess The Old College Try because it’s not exactly what most people come to fanfiction for. It’s a weird fic with a weird focus and a weird conceit, so the fact that people are reading it at all is pretty surprising to me!

13. How much planning do you do before writing?

Already answered this here!

15. How do you come up with titles for your fics/chapters?

For titles I usually wait until the very last minute (until I have everything else filled out on the publishing page on ao3 OTL). I don’t particularly LIKE titling things and I don’t think about it until I have to. Normally I bust down the door on Discord and yell at my friends like “I NEED A TITLE FOR THIS FIC HELP” and then we brainstorm. Sometimes Katie will just straight up go “Oh for xyz fic, you should call it ABC” and then I do.

For chapter titles, I like to come up with some kind of titling convention and I’ll just follow it. It makes it so much easier, though I do end up in the weeds sometimes when I can’t decide on something within the convention.

Basically I suck at titles lol. I hate using song lyrics too because they can be a bit obtuse and esoteric sometimes. Generally I just like using an important phrase or some nouns or something. idk.

[gg-selvish]

i saw your post and i realized that i definitely haven't left enough comments on your ao3 works for how much i enjoy them, so here. i wanted to let you know that you are one of my favorite, if not my all-time favorite, dream team writer. i love to read your nsfw works because they're hot and sexy, yes, but also? you have one of the best characterizations of the guys that i've seen, ESPECIALLY in nsfw works. i have had to almost immediately click off of so many fics because they just don't get the characters and their dynamics right imo, but your fics? i read them over and over. every single time i get an email that you've updated or posted a piece, i genuinely get so excited when i see that it's you.

your karl/george series is something that i will love forever and ever. i'm ace and i adore the way you portrayed karl and his sexuality in every one. it's so refreshing to find a good nsfw work that has a well written asexual character!!! i may not like knf as a ship very much, but i love them the way you write them so much.

there's so much i'm probably forgetting to say right now, but just know that i thoroughly love everything i've read from you. your works are amazing with and without the nsfw parts. please know that there are people out there (me) reading your fics for more than the smut. you deserve to know that.

<3

okay wow um this is a lot in a very good way but i'm definitely overwhelmed? normally when i get nice stuff like this i just say thank you but i've been in a chatty mood today so i'm going to turn this into A Thing if u dont mind... i really, really appreciate this. i've had a strange experience in this fandom where the whole time i've been here i've had a pretty even split of 'you're a delusional freak and i hope you die' and 'you're my favourite author please never stop posting' and my brain doesn't really know what to do about the black and white of it so normally i just move on and block it out but that's lead to me being incredibly insecure about myself and my work so i'm going to try really hard to process this and internalize it lol

so again, thank you so much for saying this to me. it really means a lot to me to hear that people like my fic because it takes up so much space in my brain and sometimes i get worried i'm only still getting any positive acknowledgement out of obligation and less so because what i'm doing is actually worth a compliment. i've felt really bad about my writing for a while now and it's nice to hear from someone who isn't my established friend that it's worth reading. and enjoyed too! wow thats crazy to me genuinely. i really do think im shit most days. especially my works of the last stretch.

regarding you (& only you) this is a lot easier for me to hear. i love that series so much and it makes my heart happy to know other ace people appreciate it and view it as positive representation because i'm asexual and always worry it reads as just porn. this comes into play with the comments thing again... me putting a lot of personal experience and deep thought into dynamics with no pay off. obviously i'm not saying every fic in that series is groundbreaking or even worth reading, but idk they each have a piece of importance to them. at least to me. i was just saying the other day that in my lapses of writers block i get anxious about the last thing i've posted being not my best work. in this current hiatus i'm in i'm actually quite content with EASE being the latest work in my recents. sure rules is unfinished but i kind of hate that fic so whatever. EASE is good. i love how that turned out and i'm proud of it and comfortable with that being the first thing people see on my profile

all insecurity and internal pressure aside i love writing for this fandom and hope i can do it for at least a little longer. i'm immeasurably grateful that people are willing to still read what i create, it makes creating it a little easier. i sound like a broken record but really thank you for this. it means more to me than you could know.

[violettavonviolet]

1 Million Hits

I'm gonna hit a million hits on my ao3 account next week, which is genuinely just crazy and I've been debating what to do for the occasion for like a month now bc I don't want to be self-absorbed but also it's literally a million(!!!) so I feel like I should celebrate anyways. I haven't come up with anything yet, but just know that I'm literally flabbergasted with all the attention... Like, I garnered 500k+ hits in the last year and it's such a huge compliment lmao

I get sappy rlly easily as u might have noticed, but I'm just astounded really. Especially because I didn't even start learning English until fifth grade. (Which was a terribly long time ago, to be fair)

When I return to some of the oldest fics I've written, I tend to cringe and I've been debating either taking them down or editing them, but I don't know if I ever actually will.

The point is, I love fan fiction, I love the community I've found on here over the years and most of all, I love writing.

(Who knows, one day, I might actually publish a book instead of these silly little stories. That day isn't today, but a girl can dream)

-- this is the point to stop if u don't want to read about my history in fandom spaces, which is apparently what this post is turning into--

I started reading fanfics bc of the German equivalent to buzzfeed were u could do quizzes and get tiny xreader fics as a result. I quickly changed over to German fan fiction.de which was my first real love lmao

The stories also got weirdly popular for the fact that I couldn't do punctuation for shit and I didn't reread my stories bc I was too embarrassed.

What luck that I started learning English pretty quickly and I changed to wattpad, until the fateful day in 2018 when I found my way to ao3 (honestly the best accident that has ever happened in my life)

It took me over a year to even make an account but it definitely changed my life for the better. I've met so many amazing people through challenges and general communities on here and especially during covid I don't know what I would've done without ao3.

I think this is just my love letter to fanfiction at this point. Like genuinely, I love everything about fandom spaces and the culture around it and I love that I can write and get feedback and read (for free, which was actually why I changed from physical books to fanfiction in the first place)

It means that for fandom, I'm actually pretty old, and everyday more people join, which is of course amazing, especially because more people are willing to actually talk about it irl (I'm ngl the first few years being publicly in fandoms was a bit rough lol) I mean, I was active in fandom spaces since what, 2014?? A while.

I've grown up with fandoms and now I'm gonna hit a million in the next week, probably on my flight to London and it all just feels surreal in the best way possible.

So thank you, I guess.

Thank you for fan fiction authors and ao3 and all the spaces where people can just enjoy being people.

this got way longer than intended but I just needed to get this off my chest

[krappykawa]

fake dating headcanons with atsumu, oikawa, and kuroo

ANON ASKED: “hi i really like your writing 🥺🥺 could i request fake dating with atsumu, oikawa, and kuroo? like they told their teams that they have a girlfriend but they dont lmao so they ask one of their classmates to pretend to be their gf so the team can meet her? and they end up falling for her along the way :)) i look forward to reading more of ur works!! 💖”

atsumu x f!reader, oikawa x f!reader, kuroo x f!reader

genre. fluff

warnings. language

word count. 6.3k

note. DAMN this one got away from me ... 6.3k words for a headcanon post ...... sorry anon i’m not sure if you wanted a long post but i mean, here we are lol 

note 2. had to repost because something was up with the tags lol i hope it works fine this time

ATSUMU.

- the team has a favorite twin and it’s osamu, we all know it

- one day after practice, the team finds out that one of the first-years managed to get a girlfriend

- most of the inarizaki vb team is single at that point in time so it starts a conversation about relationships

- somewhere in the conversation, aran says, “osamu, man. I can’t believe ya haven’t gotten a girlfriend yet. yer easily one of the best-looking people in the school.”

- osamu just shrugs, but atsumu’s like “huh??”

- “hey ‘samu and i have the same face. don’t cha mean that we’re some of the best-looking people in the school??”

- the guys in the locker room exchange glances

- aran‘s like “look, atsumu. don’t blow up on me or anything, but most girls don’t really want to date you.” (keep in mind that aran’s strictly speaking about the girls that aren’t a part of the miya twins fan club)

- “and why the hell not?”

- at this point, aran’s looking at literally everyone in the room and pleading with his eyes for help because he doesn’t want to start a fight with atsumu

- suna takes pity on aran and says, “hate to break it you, miya, but girls don’t want to date a guy who’s a massive asshole”

- now, atsumu could care less if the entire goddamn world thinks he’s an asshole, but it rubs him the wrong way that his teammates think that osamu’s a better catch than he is

- sibling rivalry pride or whatever

- so atsumu goes “i think my girlfriend would disagree because oh will ya look at that, she’s dating me!”

- he was most definitely not dating anyone

- osamu raises an eyebrow at him because to his knowledge, atsumu didn’t have a girlfriend

- “since when did you have a girlfriend?”

- osamu looks at atsumu with knowing eyes and smirks. “yeah sumu, who’s this girlfriend of yours? I don’t think i’ve met her yet.”

- atsumu knows he’s gotten himself in some deep shit

- but still he’s still full of pride, so he says, “i’ll bring her by to practice tomorrow.”

- now miya atsumu has a dilemma because there are some things he just shouldn’t lie about (because now he’ll never live it down if he can’t figure out a way to get himself out of this one)

- atsumu knows that he’s got that fanclub that would probably be more than willing to date him, but the thought of being in their presence for longer than two seconds makes his skin crawl because he doesn’t think he could handle the excessive screaming

- so that night he decides to go to the bakery down the street that he frequents because they have some of the best macarons in town

- you’re one of the bakers at that bakery that works the shift when he usually comes in for his weekly macarons so you two are acquainted

- you also go to inarizaki, so you hear the rumors that circulate around atsumu, but you don’t really pay much attention to them because he’s not that bad whenever he comes into the bakery

- like sometimes if he tries to only order 2 macarons but notices that there are only 5 macarons left, he’ll buy them all just to make your life easier

- when he comes in that day, he has this troubled look on his face. “hey y/n. can i just have my usual? oh and an iced matcha.”

- you like to keep tabs on your regulars and what they order, so when he orders an iced matcha, you know that something’s probably up (he never orders drinks from there because he said that his brother would kill him if he didn’t bring him home a drink too and having to carry the two drinks up to their apartment is hassle enough)

- you’re in the middle of making his drink when you decide to ask him what’s up “everything alright?”

- it’s almost time to close up and you two are the only two left so you figured you had time for small talk

- “i may have outright lied to my team about havin’ a girlfriend.”

- “you don’t?” that surprises you because so many girls at your school have a crush on the miya twins (you would know because your best friend is practically in love with osamu)

- when atsumu shakes his head dejectedly, you don’t quite understand what he’s so down for

- “you do know that there are like 50 girls that are practically lining up to date you right?”

- “yeah, but they’d expect a real relationship and i’m no good at those.”

- “why not?”

- “i’m too argumentative, let's just say, plus i’ve been told that i kinda come off as an asshole.”

- “and volleyball right?” you would know since he always comes into the bakery after a practice and he looks like he’s both dead and alive

- when you hand him his matcha and packet of macarons, he pauses

- “listen, don’t take this the wrong way but yer single right?”

- you almost smile to yourself because wow for a guy so attractive, his way with words isn’t great

- “i am.”

- he stands there for a good 20 seconds just looking at you with that look in his eyes that tells you that he’s trying to ask you something but he doesn’t know how to do it

- “you want me to act as your fake girlfriend don’t you?”

- cue atsumu chuckle @%EUTYDJBCJWER)*&# hhhhfs

- “ya know, i’m kinda seein’ why i get called an asshole all the time. it doesn’t sound as great when ya’ say it like that.”

- you agree to pretend to be his girlfriend, but on the condition that your best friend will be able to tag along if osamu’s gonna be there

- and that’s the start of it

- you visit his practice the next day before work and his team looks at you in surprise because they were 100% sure that having a girlfriend was just another one of atsumu’s lies

- they all kinda stare at you a little extra too because you’re really pretty

- “aye, get yer asses back to volleyball and stop starin’ at my girl like that.”

- you know it’s all fake, but him saying that kinda makes you blush anyways

- when you first agreed to fake dating him, you weren’t expecting that you’d have to spend too much time with him (he did tell you that he wasn’t looking for a real relationship) but that changes because osamu’s insistent that atsumu should at least try to be a good boyfriend and eat lunch with you and stuff

- you’re both aware that osamu doesn’t buy your little arrangement one bit

- atsumu’s got this raging pride when it comes to his twin brother, so he actually listens because now he’s made it his personal mission to convince osamu that you and him are actually dating

- it takes a while for you two to get into the hang of it, but once you do, it’s like a regular routine

- you and your best friend eat lunch with the twins (you and atsumu both watch as your best friend fumbles her way into talking with osamu), you drop by before work to give atsumu a kiss on the cheek before practice, he drops by the bakery after practice nearly everyday, and you come to his games while wearing a jersey that he lent you

- his teammates like you a lot and tease atsumu all the time because they claim that you’re way too good for him

- surprisingly, he always gets a little protective when they say things like that and always slips an arm around your waist

- one day when you’re over at his apartment, you help atsumu learn how to make macarons (with some help from osamu)

- it takes a while because he would get mad at the macarons when they would come out in weird shapes

- “stupid macarons! they got it out for me i’m tellin�� ya! they’re being like that on purpose!”

- LITERALLY A CHILD

- you learn to like that about him though

- dates with him are usually on the weekends (you both drag osamu and your best friend out with you) and it’s always something fun that osamu suggests because atsumu wasn’t joking when he said he sucks at real relationships

- most of these dates consist of holding hands as you walk around the streets until osamu sees a restaurant he wants to try out

- he always insists on feeding you at least once in your meal

- he also loves doing the walrus-chopsticks face?? (he only started doing it because he liked hearing you laugh)

- as time passes, you two start going on dates without osamu and your best friend (atsumu always claims that it’s because he wants to show osamu up, but you start to notice that osamu doesn’t even find out about these dates most of the time)

- you secretly like these dates better than those with osamu and your best friend because atsumu feels more at ease and will develop a softer tone around you during these dates

- eventually, he starts to always greet you with a forehead kiss whenever you’re in public (you’re not sure if he does it just because his brother is watching, or if maybe he might be starting to like you)

- you try to make your brain forget that most of the time, he kisses your forehead before osamu even walks in

- one day after practice, you’re waiting for him because you didn’t have a shift at the bakery that day

- he walks out of the club room looking mildly pissed and you’re a little wary

- but then he gets to where you’re standing and just pulls your waist towards him and full on kisses you

- mind you, this is your first kiss on the lips with him

- it’s not a quick peck either, like you can hear the wolf whistles from his teammates in the back and you’re left breathing hard and flushed pink afterwards

- damn if that’s what his kisses are like, you suddenly wish he’d do it more often

- “what was that for?”

- “nothin’”

- sometime in the future you find out that he did that because his teammates were once again talking about your relationship and one of them joked that atsumu paid you to pretend to be his girlfriend

- he knew that what you had wasn’t necessarily real, but he just had the urge to kiss you then (he swears to you that he doesn’t know why)

- he does know why. it was because it was starting to slip his mind that your relationship was fake and the reminder made him a little mad at himself

- he realizes that maybe he’s fallen in love with you when osamu brings it up

- atsumu had asked for osamu’s help because he wanted to surprise you by making you mochis for your upcoming four month anniversary of being his fake girlfriend (typing this out was so funny, this man is so whipped he doesn’t know it)

- “ya know, when i first met y/n, i was sure that it was all fake and that you’d slip up about it one day. i guess i was wrong.”

- atsumu doesn’t say anything to that because in his head he’s trying to convince himself that “no. this is all still fake.” but it’s hard to convince himself of that when his hands are covered in the rice flower that he’s using to make your favorite dessert for your four months of faking being together

- he tries not to think about what osamu said when he gives you the gifts later that night

- he tries not to think about it when he gets that funny feeling that he’s been feeling for a while now when he sees the way you light up upon opening the box of mochis

- he most definitely tries not to think about it when you accidentally give him your second kiss of the relationship because you were caught up in the spur of the moment

- it’s on the way home back to his apartment that night that he realizes he’s fucked

- because good god he’s fallen for you

- he tries to break it off after that

- you’re confused at how sudden it is, but you let him break it off because at that point you’re already in love with him and are still too scared to say it because you keep remembering how he always said that he didn’t want a real relationship

- IDIOTS IN LOVE YOU'RE BOTH SO .

- he tries to go back to normal after that

- but for the love of everything he just . can’t

- his eyes always linger a little too long on the door right before practice because you would always come see him before going to work

- his feet would instinctively move in the direction of the bakery after practices until he realizes what he’s doing and forces himself to go home

- his eyes would scan for your figure wearing his jersey during games until he remembers that you probably weren’t there and that you most definitely wouldn’t be wearing his jersey

- he wants to kick himself because the reason he asked you to be his fake girlfriend in the first place was because he didn’t want a real relationship

- yet here he was. wallowing because if there’s anything more he wants, it’s a real relationship with you

- osamu gets fed up with him eventually

- “take yer ass to the bakery right after practice. i’m not letting you into the apartment until you see her.”

- and surprisingly, he actually listens to his twin brother

- he walks into the bakery for the first time in a while and says “hey y/n. can i just have my usual? oh and an iced matcha.”

- you look up at him then because you vividly remember that night. how could you not?

- you’re in the middle of making his drink when you decide to ask him what’s up “everything alright?”

- “i may have outright lied to myself about loving you.”

- you nearly drop the drink in your hands

- “‘tsumu? what are you on about?”

- “i know i said that i’m no good at real relationships. but i’ve found that i want to learn to be good.”

- a pause

- “i want to learn with ya.”

OIKAWA.

- this poor boy is always the butt of the jokes that come from his team

- seriously though. it’s always “tease oikawa day” (he teases them back so it’s all good)

- but one day, they’re all in the locker room when hanamaki brings up this girl that he’s planning on asking out because he’s not sure how to do it

- oikawa, being the little shit that he is, goes “step one, makki. have my face. step two, have my amazing personality. step three, ask her out.”

- he barely ducks in time to miss the shoe that comes flying towards his head

- “makki! such unbecoming behavior! my advice is perfect!”

- matsukawa snorts and says “perfect advice my ass. you can’t even get anyone to like you. let alone go out with you, crappykawa.”

- “don’t spread lies, mattsun.” oikawa clicks his tongue like a mother scolding his child. “or do you seem to forget the dozens of confessions i get on the daily along with the girls that you three complain about all the time because ugh shittykawa’s gonna make us late if he keeps talking to them” (he’s so dramatic lol he says that last part in this weird, whiny voice)

- iwaizumi scoffs. “doesn’t count when you reject every single one.”

- “i do not!”

- “right. right. as if you don’t make them cry because you’re so nice about rejecting them too.” (oikawa frowns at that one because he doesn’t mean to make them cry)

- “yeah, shittykawa, you’re pretty bad at love in general. i’d die before listening to your advice.” (this one is from matsukawa)

- “there’s also the fact that the girlfriend’s you did have all broke up with you because you would rather cuddle with a volleyball than cuddle with them.” (this one is from hanamaki)

- oikawa scowls at them “i don’t cuddle my volleyball.”

- “sure you don’t. just like you most definitely don’t have a name for it either.”

- “leave iwa-chan the second out of this!” (he drew an angry face on his volleyball too because he claims it looks like iwaizumi)

- iwaizumi groans. “i hate you. so so much.”

- at this point, oikawa knows they’re right, but he’s also really prideful. “and besides. i would suggest taking my advice because i got a girlfriend just today!”

- he most definitely did not

- “sure you did. hey mattsun, i bet a week tops until she breaks up with him.”

- “nah i’ll bet five days.”

- after practice, oikawa came up with a plan for the next day to get himself out of the hole he dug for himself

- he usually got confessions before school, so he told iwaizumi that he was going to school early to practice and instead waited for a girl to confess to him

- but the moment he saw this second-year walk up to him with a little box, he knew he wouldn’t be able to do it

- he couldn’t do that to this innocent girl

- and he tries to say yes to her. he really does.

- but he can practically hear his older sister’s voice yelling at him about how “even when you get popular and get confessions from people left and right, i don’t want you leading anyone on. you only accept a confession if you actually like them.”

- he’s probably more scared of his sister than he is of his own mother, so he says no to that second-year, even when she starts to frown and walk away

- he’s leaning against the gym and rubbing the bridge of his nose when he hears you

- “everything alright?”

- you two were pretty close because he found out that you had a crush on iwaizumi in your second year and tried to set you two up (it didn’t work because he’s pretty bad at being a wingman)

- even when iwaizumi rejected you, oikawa had already grown to like your presence, so you two stayed friends despite how his best friend broke your heart

- “y/n-chan! what are you doing here so early?”

- “just returning a book to the library before the librarian knocks down my door and kicks my ass for having an overdue library book. what are you doing here so early?”

- “would you believe me if i said that i was practicing volleyball?”

- you look him up and down, and the smell of fresh cologne reaches your nostrils. his uniform is neatly put together.

- “looking like that? no, no i would not.”

- “well, what would you believe?”

- “i don’t know .. the truth maybe?”

- “the truth is embarrassing and is defamation to my good name.” that makes you raise your brow at him.

- “okay now i only want to hear the truth. i will not accept anything but the truth. now tell me, what kind of embarrassment have you proved yourself to be this morning?”

- “so mean, y/n-chan! now i see why you so very adored our precious iwa-chan.”

- you groan because you don’t want to remember that rejection. “oh just hurry up and embarrass yourself instead of embarrassing me.”

- “but it’s quite embarrassing.”

- “come on, spit it out.”

- “i may or may not have told iwa-chan, makki, and mattsun that i have a girlfriend when i don’t have one.”

- you look at him like he’s the dumbest person you’ve ever met, because at that moment, you really believed that he was. “couldn’t you just … i don’t know … accept one of your many, many confessions?”

- oikawa tells you about his fear of his sister and the second-year that just confessed to him

- you find yourself admiring his sister because she’s probably the one person on this planet that can humble oikawa tooru (the next person to be able to do so will be you, but you don’t know that yet)

- after hearing his explanation you get an idea. “can’t you ask someone to fake being in a relationship with you? you know, so you don’t get the angry sister devil/angel thing on your shoulder?” (LOL if you don’t get what the angel/devil thing that i’m talking about is, it’s like when you have an imaginary angel and a devil that sits on your shoulders and criticizes every choice you make)

- “are you offering, y/n?” he has that shit-eating grin on his face again, so you know he’s mostly joking

- “hmm, i don’t know. i think you’ll have to formally ask me to be your fake girlfriend. it’s only polite after all.”

- oikawa blinks for a second because he didn’t actually think you were serious. “what?”

- “are you going to ask me to be your fake girlfriend or not? maybe throw in a flower and i’ll say yes.”

- oh. oh.

- well, he wasn’t going to let what might be his only opportunity to get someone to fake date him pass by

- he looks around and sees a small flower on the ground and picks it

- he takes both your hands and puts the flower in one of them before saying, “y/n-chan will you, take me, oikawa tooru, as your loving pretend boyfriend, and save me from irrevocable embarrassment?”

- you laugh in his face because he’s trying so hard not to laugh through his “proposal.”

- “minus points for not getting on one knee but i guess i do.”

- you mainly did it because you may have already gotten rejected by iwaizumi, but you did like the possibility of being friends with him, and fake dating oikawa would probably let you do that

- you also kind of felt bad for oikawa, knowing that he wasn’t exaggerating how embarrassing it would be if his teammates found out he was lying

- when you and oikawa walk up to the seijoh third-years while holding hands, makki and mattsun are jostling each other while iwaizumi looks mildly surprised

- “see matsun! pay up!”

- oikawa and you both look in surprise as mattsun reluctantly shoves a few bills into makki’s awaiting hand

- oikawa’s looking between them both. “what bet did you use me for this time?”

- “i bet mattsun that you and y/n secretly liked each other.”

- blink blink

- iwaizumi sees the mildly awkward situation brewing so he says, “anyways, y/n if you ever get tired of this dumbass, you’re more than welcome into our group. we’ll just kick oikawa out.”

- after that, you and oikawa fall into a dating routine easily (you have a pretty busy schedule too so both you and oikawa understand each other schedules well)

- usually this is where oikawa’s relationships fail. he spends so much time with volleyball and the team that he doesn’t really spend time with his significant others

- it’s different with you though. maybe it’s the fact that the stakes aren’t so high because it’s only a fake relationship after all, or maybe it’s because unlike his past significant others, you don’t mind spending most of your time and “dates” with the other seijoh third-years, or maybe it’s because he remembers that locker room conversation and he wants to prove to makki, mattsun, and iwaizumi that he can be a good boyfriend (even if it’s a good fake boyfriend)

- dates with oikawa are usually laid-back because he’s tired from practice (so like walks in the park, getting ice cream, or study dates where you don’t get much done because you spend most of it just laughing and cooking in his kitchen)

- you find that he’s secretly a decent cook (the only thing keeping from saying that he’s a good cook is because he can’t cut vegetables for his life, and he also managed to accidently burn the onions you were trying to caramelize).

- neither of you acknowledge the fact that since nobody’s there to see those dates, you two technically don’t have to go on them since it’s only a fake relationship

- oh and takeru LOVES you

- seriously. he thinks you’re probably the coolest person ever (he tells you one day that he thinks you’re even cooler than oikawa and oikawa is a pouting mess the rest of your day. you can only pull him out of his slump when you jump on his back and force him to run to the bakery and buy milk bread)

- sometimes you’ll come with oikawa when he needs to watch takeru

- as takeru teaches you how to receive a volleyball, oikawa will watch you two with a little smile on his face (this loser is so whipped like man people passing by reminisce on how they were young and in love once because oikawa looks at you like that. oikawa doesn’t notice that he’s doing it though.)

- you sometimes spend time at his house with iwaizumi or on select days just by yourself (mostly for study dates or for watching weird sci-fi movies that oikawa seems to love)

- since you’re at his house so often, oikawa’s mother takes a liking to you because “you finally got her boy to care about something that isn’t volleyball.”

- it’s when oikawa groans a “moooom” in response that you start to feel those pesky butterflies

- oikawa will run up to you after games and just hold you tightly (he tells himself that it’s because his fan club and the team are watching, but really it’s because he can’t thank you enough for being there because he just plays better when you’re watching)

- my god, dUDE . he has no idea that he loves you like . MAN .

- mattsun, makki, and iwaizumi always tease oikawa about how you’re so much cooler than him

- oikawa whines to you and says, “y/n-channn they’re being mean again!”

- “what do you want me to do about it?”

- oikawa pouts like the baby he is and says, “kiss,” while pointing to his cheek. you give in and a round of groans comes from mattsun and makki. oikawa looks so smug and those pesky stomach feelings come back. iwaizumi is smiling to himself.

- speaking of iwaizumi

- you two become best friends after he finds you looking dejected as you wait for oikawa to get out of practice. you confided with him about how your relationship was all pretend. you might have also told him that you may be teensy bit in love with his captain

- iwaizumi tells you that, “there are some things you just ... can’t fake. the way that shithead looks at you is one of them. trust me.”

- he also tells you that his suspicion that you and oikawa had this weird spark was what kept him from ever reciprocating your feelings and why he rejected you (oikawa literally tried being your wingman before by texting iwaizumi things like “did you see how pretty y/n was today? don’t you think she was pretty?” and “iwa-chan! y/n is so funny and that’s coming from me, so she really is funny! i think maybe you should talk to her to see what i’m talking about (≧◡≦)”)

- at this point everyone knows that you’re in love with oikawa for real (except for oikawa himself)

- everyone also knows that oikawa’s fallen for you (except for oikawa himself, and you because you refuse to believe it)

- the moment he realizes he’s in love with you is on another one of those dates that you both know you don’t have to have but still choose to have anyway

- you’re making milk bread and he’s helping to measure the ingredients when he turns around to see you covered in flour and he just kinda stops

- and he realizes

- like yeah he’s been getting that small tugging feeling with you a lot over these past few months

- but now he finally realizes it’s because he’s in love with you

- he’s staring for a long time and for a second you think he’s going to make fun of your flour-coated self, but he’s staring at you with that look and you’re confused

- “everything okay? is there something wrong? did you mess up the measurements?”

- then an idea hits him

- “something’s wrong. it’s kind of embarassing though.”

- “what is it?”

- “no but it’s really embarrassing.”

- “what .. what is it?”

- cue cheeky little grin. “i think i might’ve fallen in love with my fake girlfriend. i don’t have another flower to ask her out though. i hope she doesn’t say no.”

- you kiss him for the first time then and take pride in the fact that you get him covered in flour in the process

KUROO.

- it happened the second day that you were at the tokyo training camp

- kuroo was with bokuto and a few of the karasuno first-years when bokuto started telling the first-years that kuroo had a girlfriend because he saw kuroo helping you carry your bags the day before (listen . this man is like . clueless when it comes to emotions sometimes i’msosorry)

- kuroo got this confused look on his face because he thought he would remember getting a girlfriend. “i do?”

- “don’t you? remember the girl you were holding hands with yesterday?”

- this was all some big misunderstanding

- so basically what happened was this: you’re shinzen’s team manager and you were tasked with carrying bags of equipment to the training center. kuroo was waiting for kenma to finish talking with lev (more like trying to avoid though lmao) and noticed that you were struggling so he came over to help

- kuroo figured that bokuto must’ve seen him holding the bags for you and assumed that something must’ve been going on (or maybe he looked over for the split second when kuroo held your hand in order to transfer the bags to his hand)

- he was about to clear things up when lo and behold, you walked into the gym

- “kuroo look! it’s your girlfriend! hey, come join us!”

- bless bokuto’s soul. bless that poor, oblivious soul.

- you walked up to them and looked at kuroo like “what??”

- you remembered him from the day before, but you didn’t remember ever agreeing to being his girlfriend of any sort

- he smiled apologetically at you and asked to talk to you on the side

- “what’s going on? why did he call me your .. girlfriend?”

- “look i’m sorry, bo’s a little … i don’t know. he saw me carrying your bags yesterday and assumed. i’ll clear things up, don’t worry.”

- when you two headed back to where bokuto is standing, it was obvious that kuroo’s smooth-sailing explanation wasn’t happening anytime soon

- because lev was there, and so was yaku

- “KUROO-SENPAI? THIS IS YOUR GIRLFRIEND? SHE’S VERY PRETTY SENPAI!” (bless lev’s soul too. another part of the extremely oblivious club.)

- yaku took no hesitation in teasing kuroo. “since when does kuroo ever get any girl to like him? this is new. no offense, of course.”

- kuroo tried clearing up the air by saying, “guys- listen this has all been som-“

- hinata doesn’t let him finish either lmao “YOU’RE THE TEAM MANAGER FOR SHINZEN!” (extremely oblivious club member number 3 here)

- “a team manager, kuroo? what’d you do to get her to say yes? is she a chemistry nerd too?”

- “bo-“

- they kinda just went like that back and forth, and kuroo kept getting interrupted

- you were just laughing to the side because it was kind of funny

- you also kinda felt bad for kuroo because damn his friends had like no faith in his romantic skills at all??

- maybe that was what made you say it, but after his friends were done teasing him you said, “he’s kind of a catch though, don’t you think? nerdy and funny is a girl’s dream isn’t that what they say?”

- kuroo blinked at you because what??

- once kuroo got you alone by asking you to take a walk outside of the gym, he asked, “so … what does this make us?” (surprise, surprise, he never got the chance to tell them about the misunderstanding)

- you just shrugged because really how bad could this be? “i felt bad at how much they were teasing you, so we could keep up the fake boyfriend/girlfriend thing for the week. it shouldn’t be too bad. plus it’ll save you the embarrassment of having to tell your friends that you didn’t actually get a girlfriend.”

- you guys did pretty good for the week of the training camp

- you’d cheer him on in secret if he got a spike or a block during a practice game while simultaneously still watching shinzen’s game

- you two walked around the halls when bokuto was watching just to keep up pretenses

- you learned that he’s a major nerd during these walks, which you found really endearing

- on the last day of camp, he tried to throw pieces of broccoli in your mouth (he didn’t stop until he finally got it in after his 9th try)

- you guys initially planned to “break up” after the camp was over

- but here comes bokuto again

- “hey y/n! kuroo, akaashi, and i were gonna go out for karaoke tomorrow if you wanna join.”

- you grew to like bokuto too so you said you’d come

- it was actually a really fun night

- you and kuroo sang a duet together

- he also stole some of your ramen

- you took a video of bokuto as he serenaded akaashi

- when you guys are leaving to go home, bokuto goes “you two are so cute. y/n do me a favor and don’t break up with kuroo until after the qualifiers would you? i wanna play him at his full game.” (again. seriously, he basically is the greatest accidental wingman ever)

- “we can’t break his heart, can we?”

- “no, we can’t.”

- and so your fake relationship starts

- you don’t get to visit each other often because you don’t live in the same vicinity, but you guys text often (it’s a friend thing, you both swear to yourselves)

- on weekends when kuroo’s not spending time with kenma, he’ll ask you to meet him at a park or a cafe (you two always send selfies to bokuto during every date)

- dates with him are always really fun because he’s spontaneous and also very active so sometimes he’ll take you by the hand and just drag you places

- he is not afraid to smear different colors of ice cream on your nose and call you some obscure name from some really old movie that he may have watched that week

- he also makes you push him on the swings

- the little kids get mad because what is this rooster man doing taking up a swing when he’s so old

- you laugh at him when the kids eventually come up to him and ask if they can use the swing

- dates will usually last the whole day because you’re both fine with just walking around and randomly finding stuff to do

- with all that time spent talking, you two also get to know each other really well

- like basically your life stories

- it took him a while to open up and at first he insists that you tell your story first, but after a while you notice how he starts letting little things about his life slip here and there until he starts telling you bigger portions

- you also get really close with kenma

- not close close the way him and kuroo are, but kenma would probably see you as his second closest friend

- that’s why sometimes kenma tags along with you guys (it doesn’t feel like third wheeling or anything because both you and kuroo enjoy kenma’s presence as much as each other’s)

- eventually, once you two got the hang of it, you’re like the couple that everyone likes

- because you’re both pretty funny and overall just have nice vibes

- his team starts to call you mom and dad as a joke because sometimes when shinzen doesn’t have practice, you’ll stop by at nekoma at the end of practice just to say hi

- they’re not wrong about the mom and dad thing though (it’s a really cute dynamic though i swear)

- your team used to not like him at first because they were protective of you, but eventually they reluctantly warmed up to him

- they threatened to demolish him if he hurt you though

- LMAO ANYWAYS .. MOVING ON

- you guys have lots of study dates too!!

- since you’re both busy because of volleyball related things, a lot of your schedule lines up with each other (this also means that kuroo knows when you haven’t had time to study)

- you’ll be sitting on his bed on your stomach with your legs draped across his thighs as you read your textbook and he’ll be sitting against his bed frame reading one of his assigned readings (i also like to think that kuroo has glasses for these readings that only you and kenma have seen)

- sometimes, when you finish studying before he finishes, you’ll come up behind him and just start to play with his hair

- his hair is actually really soft despite looking like a bird built its nest in it

- you also have two of his jackets that are just lying around your house

- he likes when you wear them because he thinks you look so cute (he doesn’t tell you that though)

- after a while, it’s like both of you have forgotten that this was all a ruse just so bokuto wouldn’t get heartbroken after you two break up

- at this point, kuroo has learned all your quirks, habits, and has also memorized your schedule

- like … he doesn’t realize that he’s fallen for you until someone points it out

- he realizes he’s fallen for you on the day that shinzen loses in the tournament (this would be your last match)

- now nekoma just played a game, but kuroo’s first instinct is to check whether or not shinzen won (he’s been doing this for every game in the tournament)

- when he sees that you lost, he knows that you’ll be sad and in need of a pick me up

- as kenma and him are packing up, he says, “shinzen lost today. i probably can’t make it to your house tonight. y/n will probably want to go out with her team for a bit, but she’ll probably crash at my place. do you think i should make her a strawberry cake? or maybe she’ll want onigiri? no, she’ll probably want the cake. she always gets the little smile with her one dimple whenever she eats my strawberry cake. makes me proud.”

- kenma’s just looking at kuroo with arched eyebrows because HIS BEST FRIEND IS WHIPPED

- kuroo doesn’t get why kenma’s looking at him like that because he thinks about things like that all the time. “what??”

- oh kenma knows your relationship is fake

- so he just looks at kuroo and says, “try to refrain getting down on one knee today. i doubt you have a ring, and i’ll bet that y/n will want a confession of you being hopelessly, madly in love with her before you propose by the way.”

- kuroo kind of freezes and blinks at him.

- “wh … what?”

- “kuro, do i really need to spell out for you that you’re totally smitten with her? you have been for a while now.”

- “have not.”

- “yes, you have.”

- “have not.”

- “yes, you have.”

- “have not.”

- “yes, you have.”

- at this point, kuroo knows that kenma’s onto something, but kuroo doesn’t wanna jump to conclusions until he sees you again

- when you knock on his door and run straight into his arms that night, he knows kenma’s right

- like you’re balling into his chest and he gets that feeling that he wants to hold you forever and never let go

- and he knows. he knows.

- after you start to calm down, he offers you the cake that he made just for you

- he swears that he feels ten times lighter after he sees that exact smile with the exact dimple on your face

- now kuroo may be loud, and rambunctious at times, but when he loves, it’s quiet, simple, but not any less there

- as you finish eating the cake, kuroo notices that there’s a few pink crumbs on your lips

- and he kisses you

- like a “slow, hand on the cheek, nose touching after he pulls away” kind of kiss

- “i made a realization today. kenma told me to hold back on proposing, so i’ll go with confessing instead.”

- you’re looking up at him with your heart beating hard in your chest

- “i think you might’ve made me fall in love with you.”

sorry if there are any mistakes lmao i tried catching all of them but ... 6k words ...... yanno. .....

[potatemotate]

disorganized airy thoughts

aMAJOR SPOILERS FOR ONE 17 -----------

I have so many thoubghts so i am gonna make a messy mess post with all of them with no organization and I dont expect anyone to read or look at this i just want to spill my brains on this stupid lamp!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

image is just me comparing common fanon design (derived from abstracty’s depction) with his canon design. no criticism towards either intended

- I have a hunch that maybe before he died he was brightly colored just like in abstracty’s depiction, but he faded over time. he literallygives energy of soomething youd leave in the closet or attic for more than 10 years and it collects dust and fades. honestly love his design he looks like the kind of guy whod just live alone in the woods with absolutely no awareness of anything going on

- from what we’ve seen with him putting matter on the planets, he probably can’t generate matter at all, only transport people onto the planet and put his surrounding stuffs on it. hes already made up stuff like viewers existing so the wish for anything miiight not actually exist if it’s not something his computer can magically do.

- why is there just. a computer in the middle of this minecraft lookin ass world lmfao so silly. maybe airy had the cassette tape with him when he died but the computer probably not

- has he ever tried transporting himself back to earth with the computer? it’s possible he either doesn’t know how and doesn’t want to risk it, or he just doesn’t want to go back.

- airy is. clearly someone who doesn’t exactly understand people lol. everyone else already seems to be defending him so i am not going to write a sympathetic essay but based on what we know I can assume that. when he left the contestants on the planet for 7 months (why did he take that long to start talking to them again? what was he trying to do?) he didn’t. realize that trapping them on a planet with nothing was that bad because that’s what he’s been experiencing the whole time. mans needing to be schooled on how people have lives n shit to get to they aren’t as interested in sitting in a log cabin for all eternity. liam is honestly a pretty sympathetic person so i feel like if there’s going to be an airy redemption arc then it’s going to be instigated by liam.

- airy had like. no reaction to liam showing up at all. even if he was desensitized after being in isolation for so long dont you think he’d have some kind of reaction to the first person he’d be talking to in his own home since he got there? i mean yes he talks to the contestants but none of them have entered of their own will like that. maybe other people who have died and used the radio have shown up and left? mans also had basically no reaction to liam shoving him to the ground. its almost like hes sleepwalking 24/7. wake up airy

- he seems to be kinda clumsy. willing to bet he dropped or flung something or tripped and bonked his head like that.

- he knows how to respawn people now, but apparently never brought back any of the contestants of the first season that he killed. is he just not bothered, or does he no longer remember/have the information he needs to do so? does he have control over the planedatabase website, or is that made by someone else? or by the computer itself????

- not important but im just wondering how he died. if it was dramatic or anythig. he does sound pretty young so maybe it was by some unfortunate means but we probably wont ever know if its not that important

[zmediaoutlet]

apologies if you've been asked this already, but! as a fic author, how was your experience with publishing 'a constant vow' weekly, chapter by chapter? did people seem to like it? did they read along with the chapters, or all at the end? I ask because some people say they never read WIPs, even scheduled ones, but it seems like a fun way to publish a longer work. so I'd love to hear your take on it. especially if you've ever done the opposite too (long fic all at once)

I have done the opposite too, and I have to say that this one worked better parted out the way it was -- but that's partly because of the kind of fic it is.

I mean there are a lot of competing factors here. Some people only read <5k jill opportunities; some people won't get out of bed for less than 20k. Some people will just never ever click on a WIP because they've been burned before, and I get it -- hell, I've been burned and been the person doing the burning. Here I was helped by the fact that, for the jillin' crowd, each chapter by nature of the plot did include a sex scene, so even if they were reluctant they got that hit. Plus, each chapter was a satisfying size -- I think the smallest was ~9k, longest was about ~20k or so? So, that helped.

It was also really nice to have those people who were willing to click on a WIP, because -- frankly -- to have the sheer amount of words and effort being expended, literal months of effort, dropping all at once and being met with a "thanks!" would have been (has been) heartbreaking. So, those people who were willing to click on a WIP actually reading along with each chapter and leaving comments made it feel less like a waste of time, lol. And it did actually provide a goad to finish, even if I got hit by a wallop of depression at exactly the wrong time and had my schedule wrecked. 😬 Still. I'm really glad that I did break it up and post it slowly, because it means that people actually reacted to some of the plot elements and twists as they were happening. Plus, on a purely selfish level, the updates provided seven opportunities for people to see it and actually engage. Purely for feedback -- way better.

That said, and getting back to the first thing up there -- that's because of the *kind* of fic it is. There's an actual plot, more or less, and it worked to be broken up into discrete chapters, some of them even with cliffhangers. I've written 40k+ fics before where I didn't see a feasible spot to break them up into chapters -- like, for the craft of writing, there wasn't a good reason -- so they just got dropped as is. (And got the resulting way lower level of feedback you'd expect.) I have another long WIP that I'm thinking about trying to pick back up, and it won't make sense to be broken up. I'll just have to live with that, though; I wouldn't want to introduce an artificial pause, just for the lulz.

So -- on balance, I'd say: if there's a reason to break it up into chapters, do it up. You're actually-popular so you'll probably get way more uptake & trust, especially if it's going out on a schedule. Several people commented that they liked the serialized element, as an old-school way to approach fic. Plus, people might comment, aka the only reason to do anything. :)