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isfjmel-phleg · 5 months ago

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I think there's a possibility that there's more to Joshua Terrill's story than the end of The Ray 1994 is telling us.

There is precedent for this from writer Christopher Priest. At the end of Priest's miniseries Triumph, it is revealed that Will MacIntyre's estranged father is dying of lung cancer. However, in the script for this issue, Priest includes this footnote:

[5]oh, and PS— I don't think Jimmy's dying of anything. I'll bet he had the records fixed. It might be fun to see Triumph's dad— who's way sharper than Triumph— again.

There is absolutely nothing in the text or art to suggest this. If I had not read the script, I would have had no clue that this was what the writer had in mind. So bearing in mind that there is precedent in Priest's work for big reveals at the end that remain unquestioned in the text but might not actually be true, I'd like to examine what the intentions might have been for Joshua Terrill's background. I do not have access to the scripts for this series, so I'll be examining the text and the art for clues that there's more to this story than Joshua's notoriously dishonest father is letting on.

In The Ray 1994 #28, the final issue, Nadine Terrill demands from her ex-husband "the truth. The whole truth. The entire truth. The true truth" about Joshua. This is the story that Happy tells her:

It was 1941. I was just a kid myself. And my life changed forever. I met my son. Oh, he tried to hide it--but eventually I figured out what I'd already suspected. My son--who had inherited fantastic powers from me--had somehow...accidentally...stumbled back through time. He became inadvertently responsible for my heroic career. [...] I met my son--and it gave me hope for my future. Knowing such a noble and heroic boy would someday come from my loins--follow in my footsteps--I knew--long before he was born--that Gayle and I would have a son. We named him Joshua. He was born in February of 1946. I thought he'd outgrow the dark hair--I thought he was the one. I was wrong. Joshua developed powers almost immediately. He adored his father--and his father loved him dearly. His powers were so vast--so beyond his own understanding--Gayle and I could barely control him. If for no other reason than to keep an eye on him, I allowed Joshua to fight by my side as the boy wonder called Spitfire-- [...] You see, Nadine--Gayle and I were never divorced. This...tragedy...the loss of your friend--it wasn't the first time. The powers seemed to overwhelm Joshua. Instead of maturing, he regressed. At age eight he had a four-year-old's mentality and logic skills. He was given to fits of terrible rage--he'd run amok and destroy whatever was in his path. I thought I could handle him. Thought he'd outgrow it--that this was just...just an adjustment period. I was horribly wrong. I returned from a mission late one evening. It was Joshua's birthday. He was eight. He was terribly disappointed when I didn't come home in time to celebrate his birthday. He flew into a rage. He unleashed his power. He destroyed the house...he killed his own mother... [...] Nadine--you've got to hear me out. You're right--it's time you knew--everything. I took Joshua to breakfast. I drugged his food. I locked him in a cryogenic chamber. I went home and hung up the Ray's costume forever. It was February, 1954.

I am quoting this in its entirety because the way Happy tells this story is significant. The way he words things repeatedly emphasizes that he wants to make himself look good here, make Nadine pity him, position himself as both hero and victim. We are not meant to consider him a reliable narrator.

There is precedent for this in the series and the miniseries that preceded it. Happy will unload backstories on Ray and leave out important information or just straight up lie.

He has tried to tell Ray that he's from an alien planet. He has claimed that Nadine died after Ray's birth and made a huge deal about how much he suffered losing his wife and then having to give up his son--only for Ray to learn almost immediately afterward that Nadine is alive and well and Happy's told her that their son was stillborn. Given an opportunity to introduce Ray to Nadine, Happy instead tells her that this young man is the pizza delivery guy. There are so many different versions of the circumstances of Ray's birth told throughout both series, because every time Happy changes it up a little.

This man is a chronic liar. What motivation does he have here at the end of the series to suddenly drop this habit and come clean? None, that I can tell. So we have plenty of reason to suspect the truthfulness of this story. The question is what's true and what isn't. We know that Ray time-traveled and was involved in his father's acquiring his powers (that's why Happy mentions thinking Joshua would outgrow his dark hair--the time-traveler son was a redhead). We know that Happy married a woman named Gayle in the 1940s and they had a son called Joshua, who inherited his father's powers. We know that Joshua was frozen by his own father and left like that for over forty years.

But is Joshua really the hopelessly out-of-control, rage-fueled, developmentally-regressed monster that Happy makes him out to be? For the answer to that, we're going to have to rely on what we can observe from Joshua's behavior, thoughts, and memories.

We first meet Joshua when he escapes from the cryogenic chamber after it has been disturbed by looters.

(The Ray 1994 #17)

He's very hungry, and he looks to specifically his father for sustenence--he's sure his father will feed him, "he always does." No connection of his mother with feeding him, which seems surprising for a child from a typical 1950s household. In fact, his mother doesn't seem to be on his mind at all. Again, surprising. If Happy's account is true, from Joshua's perspective, he would have lost his mother yesterday. He would still be upset about it. Or if he were unaware of her death, surely he would be looking for both parents?

He is very dependent on his father and looks to him for protection and as an example to follow. He feels he has to "deal with" wrongdoers the way his father does. He hates and fears "bad men" and "monsters," which are "evil," and his instictive response is to lash out violently at them. He seems desensitized to this violence. Where did this extreme fear come from?

Shortly afterward, Joshua has a dream (nightmare?) that doubles as a flashback to when he teamed up with his father as Spitfire. This is the only glimpse we get of his past that isn't filtered through Happy's storytelling.

Joshua, who at this point can be no older than seven, has been kidnapped by a supervillain, the very Silver-Age Dr. Spectron, and we learn that his father is "nervous" about him because "He's--a special child. This kind of thing's no good for him." Happy's lashing out at Spectron is comparable to how he responds to perceived dangers to Ray decades later.

(The Ray 1994 #18)

Joshua seems pretty shaken up as he struggles in Spectron's grip but has enough presence of mind to seize an opportunity to fight back. This obviously isn't his first rodeo. He's even quippy while doing it, like any plucky Silver Age sidekick, and he assures his worried father as they're reunited that he's fine.

...is he, though? Because his immediate response to seeing Black Condor, his father's old teammate, is to panic about whether this man could be a bad man or a monster. He calms down once his father reassures him that this is a friend, but it's interesting that such was his reaction to an unfamiliar man.

We also see that there is, at least ostensibly, affection between father and son, and Joshua clearly equates his father with safety and protection.

This flashback contextualizes Joshua's behavior when he wakes up. He has flown into a farmer's truck, full of corn, and he helps himself to some, using his powers to make it into popcorn, a "trick that his daddy taught him." This would require very deft, deliberate use of his powers, implying that he is capable of a high level of control over them--in this capacity, at least. But a dog startles him, and then police officers start shooting at this unexplained corn thief. Joshua immediately sees nothing but monsters and bad men surrounding him and panics. He is unable to calm down even when the farmer takes pity on him and tries to soothe him. In this fight-or-flight state, he lashes out, possibly killing the farmer and police officers.

Still on the hunt, Joshua tries asking a cow if it has seen his father. When it knocks him over, he gets angry, bursts into tears, and insists that he wants his father. That's when he runs into Death Masque, the video game villain Ray created who has been masquerading as Happy. Joshua runs to him with absolute trust and gets smacked aside. Death Masque attacks him, triggering Joshua's monster panic, and again the boy lashes out with his full power. As scared as he is, monsters and bad men must always be dealt with.

(The Ray 1994 #19)

By Christmas, Joshua ends up out in the snow in Colorado, trying to get Santa's attention with elaborate snow sculptures that he has created (with his powers? once again he is capable of fine control over them) and concluding that he must have been bad if Santa isn't bringing him his dad.

A couple, Brett and Leslie, find him freezing beneath a makeshift shelter and are concerned about him. Joshua doesn't see them as a threat. He is specifically uncomfortable with bad men, and, 1950s child that he is, he assumes, because of Brett's long hair, that he must be a woman. So he feels comfortable enough to go with them.

When asked where he lives, he says he lives with his dad. When asked about his mom, he matter-of-factly states that she's dead and in heaven. This doesn't seem likely to be the behavior of a child who lost his mom shortly before being put to sleep for decades. It sounds more like her death occurred long enough ago for him to get used to the idea and for him to think of himself as living with just his dad.

(The Ray 1994 #20)

Brett and Leslie track down Nadine, who sends them to look for Ray, who might be able to tell them where Joshua's father is, and Joshua uses his powers to fly the couple's van to Philadelphia. Once in Ray's apartment, he confides to Leslie his fears about monsters being there. She reassures him, and after that, he seems to be fine. He's not on high alert around this couple, and as they wait at Ray's condo for his return, Joshua seems stable and relatively happy and content to amuse himself by floating around upside down. He's even in enough control of his faculties to know how to answer the phone. He knows his full name, he knows his father's name, he speaks in clear, full sentences--is he really as age-regressed as Happy claims he is?

(The Ray 1994 #21)

Joshua's response to meeting a powered-up Ray is to classify him as a "bad man. Very bad man" and blast him. When Ray flies off with him, he lashes out when Ray tries to argue that he can't really be Joshua, and the force of his blast sends Ray flying far. But once Ray introduces himself, Joshua abandons any fear of him as a "very bad man" and latches on to this young man who must know where his father is. As soon as Ray is associated with Joshua's father, he is "safe." Joshua readily helps him fight a supervillain, just as he used to do alongside his father.

(The Ray 1994 #22)

...that is, until he gets startled and turns to Nadine's friend Sarah for support (women are safe). His monster panic gets triggered and he powers up.

During the ensuing fight, he is terrified--scared for himself, for Ray--but even from the backseat of Sarah's car as the women try to get him to safety, he's trying to help Ray out with blasts of his powers. Being the sidekick, even when afraid, is apparently deeply ingrained into him. But his attempts to help go wrong, and an increasingly stressed and emotional Joshua ends up inadvertently destroying Nadine's house trying to get Death Masque to surrender Ray.

(The Ray 1994 #23)

In an incident reminscent of the fight with Dr. Spectron, Death Masque gets Joshua in a chokehold, and he has to be rescued by Ray. Joshua appears none the worse, attack-hugging Ray and asking to see his father.

He still seems fine as the police question Nadine, as Ray gives him ice cream, as he goes to sleep in Sarah's car and gets put to bed at her house, worn out over his incredibly exhausting day.

But once asleep, he is tormented with nightmares of monsters, brought on the fight with Death Masque that probably also dredged up the Spectron kidnapping and whatever other array of traumas that have contributed to Joshua's fears.

(The Ray 1994 #27)

And when he wakes up in a strange room (remember, he was put to bed while already asleep), unable to distinguish reality from nightmare, he loses control of his powers and sets the room on fire.

His father, whom Ray has finally tracked down, comes to intervene, but Joshua in his panic believes that it's Death Masque again. He's not so much angry as he is terrified and alone and heartbroken. He's just eight, and it seems like the whole world is out to get him.

He inadvertently destroys this house too, injuring Nadine and killing Sarah.

(The Ray 1994 #28)

So he flies off in a blind panic. Ray flies after him, observing that when it comes to his powers, Joshua has "got no inhibitions. No gauge for how much power he's using. No thought about the consequences. He just turns it on."

And while this is happening, Happy gives Nadine his account of Joshua's history.

We have indeed seen that Joshua is capable of losing control of his powers to the point of inadvertently destroying and killing. But we've also seen that Joshua is not constantly in a state of uncontrollable rage, that he is capable of a high level of control over his powers under certain conditions, and that the loss of his mother does not seem to be a recent event for him. Something about Happy's story isn't adding up.

He claims that he and Gayle "could barely control him" so he had Joshua become his sidekick in order to keep an eye on him. But we see in the flashback that Joshua works well with his father, looks to him for what to do, and can use his powers to do things like pop popcorn, create intricate snow sculptures, and lift an entire van and fly with it from Colorado to Philadelphia.

Happy claims that Joshua mentally regressed from the age of eight to four and "was given to fits of terrible rage."

But although Joshua's behavior is quite childish and he certainly isn't an unusually mature eight-year-old, it's less clear that his behavior comes from actual mental regression rather than the effects of trauma. We've seen Joshua lash out, but it always comes from a place of extreme fear rather than extreme anger. This fear has consistently characterized this child since we meet him, but Happy doesn't acknowledge it at all.

Look at Joshua's face in this panel. That's not rage. That's fear.

And note Joshua's face in the panels accompanying Happy's claim that Joshua, enraged by his father's absence on his birthday, destroyed the house and killed his mother. Does this look like a child who just had a fit of rage? Is that meant to be an unsettling smile suggesting that something is very off about this kid, or is there more to this story than we're being told? I think it's significant that we don't see Happy's face when he tells Nadine that Joshua killed his own mother. Because there's a possibility that that's not the truth, or not the whole truth.

How did that house get destroyed? What really happened to Gayle? I would say that we don't really know. But I do get the impression that Gayle, whatever became of her, hadn't been in Joshua's life for a while by the time he went into that cryogenic chamber. And I doubt that Joshua is the uncontrollable rage monster that Happy paints him as.

I've seen it suggested around here that Joshua could be neurodivergent. I do think that that is very possible. But I don't think that we can definitively reach that conclusion based on the limited amount of information that we have. Joshua may or may not be neurodivergent in some way, but what does seem more definite in his behaviors is a likelihood of PTSD.

Joshua has experienced trauma. He was his father's sidekick from a very young age. He was taught and encouraged to fight with "bad men" and "monsters," who could and did seek to harm him. He was kidnapped at least once. And the person who allowed him to be put in these dangerous positions was his own father, whom he trusted and looked to for protection. Even by the standards of a genre of story in which it's accepted that teenagers regularly function as basically child-soldiers, Joshua's being Spitfire when he was younger than eight is excessively young and more than he could be expected to handle.

Signs of PTSD in children can include the following:

intense anxiety when separated from family members or around strangers

disturbances in sleep (unable to fall or stay asleep)

feeling jittery, “on edge” or “on guard”

easily startled, especially by sounds or sudden movements

excessive or illogical irritability

aggressive (or even violent) attacks on others

“flashbacks” (feeling like the traumatic experience is happening again; may include seeing or hearing parts of the event that are not really occurring)

inability to distinguish reality from thoughts or dreams

regressive behaviors (acting younger than their age)

These signs seem to be consistent with behaviors that Joshua displays, especially his nightmares, struggles to distinguish reality from dreams, lashing out when he feels threatened, and separation anxiety.

My guess would be that what actually happened with Joshua was that Happy, eager to train the son he believed would become a great hero to follow in his footsteps, took on Joshua as a sidekick very early in life. This was too much for a child of that age, and Joshua developed PTSD. Happy interpreted this as something being wrong with his child developmentally and, instead of seeking help for him, chose to discard Joshua as a failed effort. Perhaps he really did feel out of his depth handling his son and made an extremely questionable choice out of desperation. Perhaps it was a coldly practical decision. Perhaps some of both. And it's unclear what exactly happened surrounding Gayle. But whatever the case, Joshua is a severely traumatized child who needed help and failed to receive it from the one person who should have been looking out for him the most.

The last glimpse we get of Joshua is him sleeping peacefully in Ray's bed at the condo after Gaelon rescues him from drowning. He is presumably still depowered after expending all that energy. And he's in a place where he has previously felt safe, in the care of his brother, whom he also is comfortable around. We don't find out what happens to him, but since the note we leave him on is one of peace and rest, there's hope that he can eventually find healing.

And maybe some answers about what really happened the night of his eighth birthday.

Maybe, like Ray, he might abruptly discover someday that his mom has been alive this whole time.

We have no way of knowing for sure. Short of interviewing Priest and asking point-blank.

#comicsposting again #JT: a little short for a 50-year-old #HT: you just can't stop lying can you?#RT: born with the light #this one has been in drafts for a while and I figured I might as well get to it now

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amidstnamjin-and-binchanlix · 1 year ago

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there you'll be || day6 [psj]

Warnings: major character death, heavy angst(?)

I won't control you, but MINORS DO NOT INTERACT. This is not for you, please.

Pairings: Park Sungjin/(F) Reader, implied past Yoon Dowoon/(F) Reader

Plot: What if you only have today to say goodbye?

Genre: Established Relationship

I keep a part of you with me,

And everywhere I am, there you'll be

This was written 8-9ish years ago, and re-written and posted on ao3 3 years ago.

This concept came from my sister's dream, and she asked me to write it, and probably the main reason why i decided to have an ao3 account lmao

This was originally written with a different fandom and pairing and was supposed to be a part of this fic universe i wrote (but didn't finish). Re-written so it can be better, I guess (hope)??? but the concept is still the same with some major changes tho

Reposted here because there is a tragic lack of day6/reader fics uwu

anyway, all readers are appreciated! luvluv

🕛

6:00 – 7:00 a.m.

Y/N woke up to an irritating sound. It was this shrill beeping sound that made her want to hurl the object at the wall.

When she opened her eyes, she reached for the alarm clock and turned it off. "Shut up," she said, exhausted, and looked at the time. 6:00 am.

For an ordinary Saturday morning, six am is way too early. After dropping out of the university from her second course and running away with Sungjin, Y/N's life has changed; from the simplest things like her sleeping pattern to the biggest ones like missing her family. She wouldn't say she regrets it, she just wishes the situation was different.

Her usual weekends start at nine, and she always wakes up before Sungjin does. She would often be the one to go down to make breakfast for the two of them.

Sometimes though, when struck with an ahem inspiration, she would wake him with a lazy hand job—or a blowie, whichever she prefers—until he slightly shifts position and fist the bed covers. Slowly peppering his hips with kisses until Sungjin groans in annoyance to whichever is rousing him from his beloved, peaceful sleep. Y/N has to stifle her laughter because she knows just how grumpy he is when woken up 'too early', but how he won't be able to stay mad at her. He'd smile down at her and say in that sexy just-woke-up voice of his that he'd go back to sleep so Y/N can go ahead with what shennanigans she was trying to do.

Today though, that was not the case. She has to get up early because the local high school she volunteers at made a weekend program for writing and music. Every second Saturday, she would be facilitating two classes; a writing workshop in the morning, and the music sessions in the afternoon. Sometimes, she would take Sungjin with her, and he would teach the students how to play the guitar.

After switching the alarm off, Y/N got up and stretched her legs and arms, loving the way her joints popped as sleep from her muscles fade.

It's also during this time of the day, however, that she can't help but think of her life before this.

It has been five years. Y/N is sure her children doesn't recognize her anymore. After running away with the boyfriend of her ex-husband's twin brother, she's sure Dowoon would never let her be a part of their children's lives anymore, no matter how much he used to love her. Betrayal would definitely kill people.

Y/N padded sleepily to the bathroom to take a quick shower.

After getting ready for the day, she went down to cook some breakfast for them. Before leaving the house, she decides to check on Sungjin and wake him up early for his doctor's appointment. He sleeps through the alarm, and might miss his appointment.

She opens the door to their room quietly and see Sungjin's still sleeping form on the bed. She gently shakes him, just enough to wake him up.

"Sungjin?" She shakes him again when he doesn't respond. "Babe? Wake up."

Sungjin hums, cracking an eye open. "I'd be going," she says with a soft smile.

"Hmf... don't you want me to go with you?" He asks sleepily as he rubs his eyes. Y/N shakes her head, running her fingers through his hair.

"It's fine. You have your appointment today with Dr. Park, remember? Wouldn't wanna miss that." Sungjin pouts, and she smiles. "I'll bring home that Kimchi stew you like."

"Yeah?" He smiles at her hopefully through bleary eyes.

"Yes. So get your lazy ass up now, or you'll have to rush again." She slaps his bum and kisses his lips before she stands up. "I'll be home early. Get up now, 'kay? Love you." She shuts the door to the bedroom just in time to hear the faint and almost muffled love you too from Sungjin.

She leaves the house minutes later, not helping the smile on her face. She thinks that at the end of the day, after all the heartbreaks and challenges they had to face, running away with him is always worth it.

9:40 am

Y/N gives the students their second writing exercise for the day. She walks around the room and smiles down at Charlie, one of her favorite students in the writing program. The kid is really talented in writing.

Y/N wonders fleetingly about her twins. She wonders if they will inherit their father's love for music books, or her love for long novels? She puts her arm around the other and smiles to herself. She wants to see her children badly and maybe, just maybe, have some with Sungjin in the future.

10:30 am

Y/N was just about to tell her students to take a 15-minute break when she heard a commotion outside. One of the teachers ran up to her classroom with panic in her eyes. Y/N immediately knew something was wrong.

"What is it?" she asked.

"There's someone with a gun!" It took Y/N a minute to fully get that. "He's in the building. Send your students out."

She didn't need to be told twice. "Class, I need you to leave everything behind and quickly exit the room." She tried to keep her voice even so as not to alarm them. She didn't want them panicking, even though she felt like throwing up.

"Now!" She hoped her students can forgive her for raising her voice (she never does), but now's not the right time to think about that. Both teachers looked out while the students filed out of the room hurriedly.

"Did someone call 911?" she asked as the last student got out of the room. The other teacher's answer was cut short by the sound of gunfire, followed by screaming.

"Go, go, go!" Y/N yelled at the students as they all ran towards the direction of the stairs.

Y/N was nearing the stairs when pain blooms in her shoulder. She didn't dare look back as a second one hits her back, then her leg. That's when she lost her balance, and crumple to the ground face down. She heard more screaming as students ran for their lives before she felt the bullet to her neck, and she's—

12:00 pm

Y/N raises her head from the table with a gasp.

Disoriented, she looks around and blinks. She doesn't know she had been snoozing. Had she been snoozing? It feels like she had only blinked.

Huh.

She looks at the clock; 12:00 pm.

She hears the chatter of the students outside as she sees the essay exercises on her table. When she looks up, however, the classroom is a mess. The students' things are everywhere, and the chairs are all askew.

She remembers the panic and running, but nothing else. What happened after that?

She tries to recall as she flexes her head, pressing lightly at the pain in her neck. Not being able to come up with anything from her bizarre dream(?), she starts to clean up the mess.

1:08 pm

Y/N had successfully cleaned up the messy classroom by herself. She didn't notice that there were no students on the floor anymore. She slung her bag to her back and locked up the classroom.

It wasn't until she reached the second floor that she saw another soul. It was, however, a police officer.

What the...?

She walked towards the man, and called out to him.

"Excuse me?" He didn't seem to notice her. She called out to him again to no avail, the police turning his back on her.

"What the fuck?" Bothered, she continued down to the ground floor, where she saw more police officers.

She tried to talk to another police officer, but she was still ignored. She was getting frustrated and weirded out with each passing second. It's like they cannot see her. She didn't understand what's happening and felt her head spin, eyes prickling with tears of confusion.

She looked around, and finally, one person seemed to see her. The lady was looking straight at her. Relieved, Y/N walked towards her; she didn't know why, but she felt compelled to talk to her.

When she was close to the lady, she tripped a little on her own feet. She looked down and when she looked back up, the lady vanished.

"Looking for me?"

Y/N spun around to reveal the lady that had been staring at her.

"Yes..." Y/N said, torn between feeling embarrassed and confused. "But, you're there before. How...?"

The lady smiled at her. "You have more important questions to be answered, don't you think?" Y/N, who was dumbfounded, had just managed to nod.

"Come with me," the lady said. She turned around and started walking away, not waiting for Y/N to respond.

1:45 pm

Y/N cannot believe her eyes. She, or more accurately, her body, has been lying on a body bag in the quadrangle.

"B-but... h-how...?" She can only stammer in confusion.

This is just not possible. Y/N tries to breathe in and out to stop the spinning of her head, clutching her hands in each other.

She finally turns to the lady beside her, who is still staring at her lifeless body.

"You got killed," she answers Y/N's unspoken obvious question. "You're one of the last people he'd managed to kill before he was taken down by the police."

When the lady points at the bullet hole on her neck, a picture flashes through her mind.

Y/N remembers the pain through her shoulder, then her back and leg. Lastly, she remembers the blinding pain on her neck after falling to the ground.

After long minutes of disbelief, Y/N finds it in her to finally speak, her voice hoarse from the brimming emotions in her eyes. "I'm dreaming, aren't I?"

She badly wants to believe that maybe she was really just dreaming. Maybe this is all just a practical joke. By whom, she doesn't know.

"I'm sorry, Y/N." Her companion just shakes her head. "I'm so sorry."

That was the last straw for Y/N. Tears pour from her eyes as her world comes crashing down and her dreams shatter. She falls to her knees as she sobs her heart out.

She isn't ready to die yet.

Maybe this is payback for everything she did, for everyone she killed.

Sungjin.

How is he supposed to move on? How is she supposed to move on?

"Sungjin." She sniffs. "Don't I even have the chance to say goodbye? I wanna say goodbye to him."

"You only have until before midnight," the lady says.

"Thank you," Y/N replies.

The lady just smiles at her sadly, her eyes telling her that she understands how she feels. She wonders briefly if they had been in the same situation. The lady vanishes right before her eyes, leaving Y/N with a broken heart.

2:50 pm

She looks for Sungjin at the clinic, but he was not there. She goes home and he was there, sleeping soundly on the sofa. His arm has a band-aid, for his tetanus jab.

Sungjin hates getting shots the most. Y/N knows he hates hospitals and injections, and has a big mistrust with the institution, and it makes her chest swell with love for him.

It makes her heart shatter, though. It's so hard to leave and say goodbye to someone you had forsaken your world for, especially when you're starting to think that everything is turning out fine. She was just starting to build her world with him, planning their future and thinking of having kids.

Sungjin looks so peaceful and beautiful, having no care in the world that Y/N just wants to frame this moment. She knows she can't, so she'll just watch over him for as long as she can. Maybe it will last longer than taking a picture, or maybe it can stop the time. If not, then she can at least keep this picture embedded in her mind before she disappears forever.

3:38 pm

Sungjin shifts from his position, rubbing his eyes and yawning on his hands. Y/N wipes her eyes with the back of her hand so he won't see the tears that had been steadily streaming down her face for the past hour. His eyes find her, and smiles that beautiful smile she fell in love with.

It sends her heart skidding on the floor, and to splinter a little more at the thought of leaving him. She bites her lip to keep the tears from falling further, and smiles back at him.

"Hey," she says, barely keeping her voice steady.

"Hey," Sungjin smiles at hear again, but his smile crumples when he takes in her bloodshot eyes and runny nose. He shoots up and engulfs her in a tight hug.

It was the wrong thing to do as Y/N loses it again, tears escaping down her cheeks. He rubs her back soothingly.

"What's wrong?" he asks. "Are you okay?"

"I love you. Please never ever forget that," is all she can say.

"And I love you more." Sungjin pulls away and cups her face into his hands. "Now tell me what's wrong—and don't you try to lie. I know you so well."

She debates telling him because he deserves the truth, but she can't find the right words to say. "I'm fine," she sniffs and shakes her head. "I'm okay."

"You're definitely not okay." He pulls away and holds her arms. He frowns when he notices her body's dropped temperature. "Where have you been? You're awfully cold!"

"I'm fine. School's let out early." Y/N sits up straight and smiles, wiping at her tears. "Did you—have you seen the news?"

Y/N is nervous to ask that, but she has to know. She knows he would be shattered when he knows that he's talking to a ghost. Technically, Sungjin can still touch her, but she's already a ghost.

She also can't forgive herself for breaking their promise of forever.

"Not yet," Sungjin says. "I was so tired and sleepy so I had to go straight home. But we can turn on the TV anyw—"

"No!" Y/N grips his hand, cutting him short of turning on the TV. She looks close to tears again that he raises his eyebrows in surprise.

"No." Y/N composes herself with a fake smile to appease the surprised features on his face. "I'm just asking. I'm sorry for yelling."

"You're acting weird," Sungjin says.

Y/N puts on her best I'm-okay face and smiles at him. "I'm okay. I just had a snooze at work and I had a bad dream."

I wish this was all just a bad dream.

"I just want to make sure you don't forget I love you, you know? Despite everything that happened to us." She looks down and smiles sadly. "I'm sorry I made you worry for nothing."

Sungjin pouts, but pulls her into another hug. "It's fine, babe. I just love you more and more every second because you're the only person who loved me truly, and never left me."

Y/N's heart can't get any more broken.

5:55 pm

For the past few hours, Y/N and Sungjin were just curled up on the loveseat. They were watching a sappy romcom that seemed to mock her in the face as it was about leaving a loved one behind and coming back for them. On the other hand, it's a good reason for her to cry her eyes out without raising suspicion, safe and snug under Sungjin's arms.

Too bad, the peace doesn't last forever.

7:40 pm

Y/N is currently waiting for Sungjin to come back. She originally opposed to the idea because she has a bad feeling about it, but he said that he needs to get some food (since Y/N forgot to bring home some). It has already been an hour since he went out, and the store was only a 15-minute walk—five if you use a car.

What is taking him so long?

8:20 pm - 9:45 pm

Y/N was just about to go looking for Sungjin when the front door opens and shuts with a slam. Next came the heavy footsteps that sounded urgent and almost running.

Y/N stands up and was about to see if it was him (who else would it be?), when he comes running into the living room. He was panting and has a disheveled appearance, eyes puffy with the evident tear-stained tracks in his face.

Shit.

"Sungjin...?" Y/N steps forward, but Sungjin steps backwards. "Babe...?"

"Who are you?" he asks as he tilts his head to the side, an incredulous, almost crazed look in his eyes.

"What?" she asks, knowing fully well what is going on. "It's me, Y/N! What kind of stupid sh—"

"You're NOT Y/N!" Sungjin almost yells. He walks towards her and shakes her by her shoulders. "Who are you? What did you do to her?"

"Babe, it's me!"

"No!" He lets go of her and walks to the other side of the room, his back against her. He turns around, and he has tears in his eyes. "You're not her."

"I am!" she cries out, but he refuses to listen. His mouth is curled in an angry sneer. "I know it sounds absurd, but I came back for you... to say goodbye."

"How can I believe that, huh?" he laughs, but there is no humor in his voice. "Ghosts are not real, whoever you are."

Oh.

"How can you expect me to believe what you were saying?" he asks, but she can't give him an answer. "Answer me!" he screams when she stays silent.

Y/N suddenly feels tired. Heartbroken.

"I love you," she says instead. She looks down at her hands, and see that she is starting to fade as time passes by.

Sungjin laughs a ruthless laugh, not noticing the change in her, and it breaks her heart even more. She can't find it in herself to cry, mainly because she's already cried out as heck, and it's not like it will change anything.

"Just stay away from me," Sungjin says, face taut with anger. "Get the fuck out of my house."

Y/N can only nod. She debates reaching out to touch him, but backs out at the last second. She leaves her coat by the door, and gets out into the cold night.

She's already cold, anyway.

11:15 pm

Y/N begins to think about how her life has been and thinks how far she'd come. She's pretty proud of herself for coming this far.

She would want to say goodbye to her kids and to Dowoon as well, but it's not like that's in the cards right now.

She looks at her wristwatch, the one Sungjin gifted her for her birthday.

11:15 pm.

Right, 45 minutes left.

It's funny how she can't cry anymore, probably because she's past the sixth stage of grief. She thinks she had already accepted that she will be gone by midnight, and crying makes no sense at this point. It's not like it'll bring her back, or bring Sungjin back.

Speaking of which, she looks to her left and there Sungjin is at the other side of the park. She's pretty sure he hasn't seen her yet, so she stands up and keep her head down.

She walks toward a more secluded part of the park, not risking a glance back at him. She doesn't want to fight with him again. She'd rather go quietly without an affair, than have a big blow up with Sungjin. After all, this what she's good at; running away.

"Y/N!"

Ah, shit.

Y/N tries to walk faster without seeming like she was running away from him. If she runs away, he'll know she heard him. Y/N walks on, chanting a nopenopenope in her head.

Nope, indeed.

Nearly there.

"Y/N, please," Sungjin says, sounding out of breath and too near. "Wait."

Just keep yourself together.

"Y/N!" Sungjin grabs her wrist, spinning her around.

Her gaze lands on her wrist, and she sees that she was fading away fast. She pulls her hand back to her fast, careful not to draw attention to it. Too late though, because Sungjin's eyes are drawn to it.

She pulls the sweater's sleeve to cover her wrist and clear her throat. "Yeah." She laughs awkwardly. "Sorry 'bout that."

"It's true, then." Sungjin's face crumple. He looks younger, almost like a kid. "I was hoping it was just delirium from the shots."

She laughs quietly. "You don't get delirious from shots."

Silence.

Y/N takes a deep breath, and smiles like her heart's not on fire. "I'll be going."

"Where?" he asks in a small voice.

She shrugs. "Hell, maybe?"

That turns out to be the wrong thing to say, because Sungjin bursts into tears a few moments later.

No, no, no.

"I'm sorry," she says as she takes a step towards him. She suddenly stops, him asking her to stay away still ringing in her ears.

"I'm sorry," even though she doesn't know if she's saying sorry for the joke or for ruining his life. "Sorry."

"I was hoping—" he says as he hiccups, wiping at his tears. "I was hoping this was all just a practical joke."

Y/N smiles sadly, still keeping her distance. She badly wants to pull him into a hug, but she can't.

"Do you regret it?" she asks him after a minute of silence. He looks at her and it breaks her heart, but she just can't bear not knowing before leaving. "Do you regret choosing me?"

"No," he insists, shaking his head. "Never."

She nods with a small smile. Me, too.

"Thank you," she says. "That's all I need to know."

She turns toward the other side of the park, but he walks in front of her and blocks her way.

"Don't go," he begs almost desperately. He kneels in front of her and hugs her legs, still crying like a kid. "Please just take me with you."

"Sungjin..."

"Please," he cries harder. "Please please please."

Y/N unwraps his arms around her legs, and kneels with him, pulling him into a tight hug.

"Please don't leave me," he cries on her sweater. "You're all I have."

11:55 pm

Five minutes.

They spent the last almost-hour talking and crying. They reminisced about everything, and Y/N apologized, mostly. Everything she failed to say, and failed to make him feel. She spared nothing.

She looks at her wristwatch. 11:55 pm.

Her hands are almost transparent at this point.

"I'm sorry if I wasn't able to keep my promise" she says, taking Sungjin's hand in hers. "I mean it when I said I love you, and I want you to be happy—"

"—I can't be," Sungjin replies. At least he had stopped crying, but it looks like he was about to again.

Three minutes.

"Close your eyes, babe." He does, and she kisses his lips one last time.

"I'm gonna miss you," she says. "I'll wait for you, okay?"

"I won't take long." Sungjin's voice is quivering.

One minute.

"I love you." Her skin starts to glow while she was speaking, her body flowing like ashes in the wind and drifting upwards.

"I love you, too," Sungjin says.

When he opens his eyes, he was alone on the park bench.

He stays there for a long time, wishing she heard him.

She did, and she carried his love with her to the dark skies.

fin

#major character death #angst #park sungjin x reader #park sungjin fics #day6 angst #day6 imagines #day6 x reader #sungjin imagines #sungjin scenarios #i just copied the tags i saw on sungjin fics i'm so sorry #day6 fanfic #day6 reactions

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grymmnox · 1 year ago

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week #36

i forgot it was saturday,, oopsies. tbf im tired

fandom(s): bungo stray dogs, good omens, supernatural

ship(s): soukoku, ranpoe, ineffable husbands, destiel

Oneshots

leaking red glitter; crispy_ceasar - bungo stray dogs

teen and up | 2k words | READ TAGS summary: dazai wakes up and he feels like a miracle.

Sunlight; thewritingotter - good omens/spn fusion

teen and up | 12.6k words | aziraphale/crowley, castiel/dean summary: It’s only been a couple of days since their first kiss (the memory of which is seared forever in Crowley’s infernal heart, something he knows he will never allow himself to forget -- not when it’s similarly the most amazing and frightening thing that’s ever happened to him), and while Crowley craves affection and hand holding and all of those soppy things demons aren’t supposed to be in want for, Aziraphale is drastically and very firmly on the other side. He’s stiff and unyielding, and even though Crowley is one of the few who are allowed to touch him, these instances are few and far between. -- Crowley and Aziraphale go on a much needed holiday after the Apocalypse That Didn't Happen.

You're Still A Dream Of Hope To Me; BlackUnicorn - good omens/spn fusion

not rated | 10.1k words | aziraphale/crowley, castiel/dean summary: “There you go, love.” A plate with a generous slice of apple pie was set on the table and the man-shaped being across from Crowley made a face that looked like it was trying very hard to be both exasperated and excited. “You told me to order for you, so I did,” Crowley said, innocently as you please, “And I happen to be rather fond of apples.” *** “What can I get ya?” the waitress asked. “Well – Molly,” Dean read her nametag, “How ‘bout some of that apple pie?” “’fraid that was the last slice,” Molly said and Dean could feel the smile steadily dripping of his face, “We still have cake, though.” “No, thanks,” Dean answered, “Just coffee is fine.” *** It was supposed to be a holiday. Crowley and Aziraphale make a trip to the States for a little change of scenery. Sam and Dean are still recovering from everything that happened. Things sort of go downhill when the Winchesters think they're on a Hunt for a Trickster, then uphill, depending on where you stand, and then they just go sideways.

All In The Pronunciation; Dr_Wahoo - good omens/spn fusion

teen and up | 2.4k words | implied aziraphale/crowley, dean & sam summary: Sam and Dean make the unenviable decision to summon Crowley. However, the demon standing in their summoning circle is decidedly not the right Crowley — or so they think at first.

Complete Fics

I'll crown your inner child with laurel; acuteguwu - bungo stray dogs

mature | 26 chapters, 197k words | chuuya/dazai, chuuya & dazai, poe/ranpo, poe & ranpo | READ TAGS summary: “I didn’t get my education in the best culinary school of France for some mediocre apprentice to tell me how to cook my dishes.” “Just shut it, Chuuya, and salt your goddamn béchamel.” (AU in which Dazai and Chuuya are both competing in the famous culinary contest, but it's more about childhood traumas and attempts to fix them with adult lovestories.)

Incomplete Fics

The Whim of a Cat; Stormlight8 - bungo stray dogs

teen and up | 10/? chapters, 18.1k words | natsume & oda, ango & dazai & oda, dazai & oda, atsushi & oda, ango & oda summary: All it took was a few lines in the Book to change reality. Natsume Soseki, using the page held by the government, wrote a change that came into effect when the Decay of the Angels stole the page: the revival of Oda Sakunosuke. Having not been killed by his battle with Mimic, but believed by everyone to be dead, the ex-mafioso became committed to fulfilling what he had previously failed at. In order to save more innocent children, he had to keep the balance. With the Decay of the Angels disturbing the balance, it was finally time for Oda Sakunosuke to step into the fray. And hopefully, he'd meet a few old friends along the way.

nothing, the wind, the sky; lilydaze (Icosagens) - bungo stray dogs

mature | 2/7 chapters, 19.5k words | chuuya/dazai, (once again, and i cannot stress this enough, past & unhealthy.) dazai/mori | READ TAGS summary: "There's this moment, right before you do it, where your body tries to save you. It's not fear, or hesitance; it's a biological desire to survive that wells up in you and tries to overwhelm you into quitting. It rises up to become this... nearly insurmountable mental block. It's very powerful. It... possesses you. There's a lot of willpower involved in committing suicide, if you didn't know." "Does it," Chuuya asks quietly, "get easier? The more times you do it?" Dazai looks him in the eye. "No," he says. "It doesn't."

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beoppiedai · 2 months ago

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OC FUN FACTS!!! + MINDSPACES

Some of these ocs I've already posted on here and some not

ATLAS DE LA CRUZ:

Atlas had a crush on another angel in heaven once and made her a child because that's how he's been taught to propose love for other beings, he literally attempted to baby-trap an angel and FAILED because she never spoke to him after that.

The last time Atlas saw his Noah (Noah S not W) he told him that he had been the being he had been searching for all his life and that he would search for his soul in every single of his lifetimes until his death and even after death he'd take care of him

NOAH WILLIAMS/STIRLING:

Once with his ex-wife, he asked her to shapeshift into a man and when she asked what he wanted her to look like he described Atlas perfectly, keep in mind that his ex-wife was literally friends with Atlas. She did it anyways though. Noah had freaked with Atlas before Atlas freaked with him

Cutting here but after this is Jack, Apate and Jack’s (adoptive) parents and then it's an explanation on what mindspaces are

JACK STAR-X

He had a one-sided crush on a guy while he was still human and has never fallen for anyone else.

He has a pet goat named “macaroni” that he loves a lot and would probably end the multiverse if it was killed

APATE:

Apate understands its just a character in my mind but cannot break the fourth wall like other characters (such as the old Noah or Jack) because if it does the entire multiverse will crash.

Apate finds the smell of lavender delightful

GALAETH STAR:

Gala (pronounced Gaila) is in an open marriage with X4 and has dated many universes and Galaxies like herself.

Gala is in love with X4 despite the fact that he will never love her because his true lover is a mortal that keeps on reincarnating. She loves him a lot (I made her while listening to me and my husband by mitski)

Gala calls X4 her bastard husband (playfully)

X4ND3R X:

X4 calls Gala his bitch wife (playfully)

X4 thinks of Gala as more of a roommate than a lover, even though he has slept with her and had 8 kids with her. (I fear you don't do that with roommates…)

Even though X4 only truly loves his mortal lover, he has been in relationships with many universes (he's gay as FUCK Holy shit,,, if you don't want gala ILL TAKE HER)

MINDSPACES:

For my awesomesauce moots that have been reading my post, you might've seen me mention mindspaces, so I'm gunna explain them!!

Mindspaces are separate private universes only accessible through a person’s eye, the door to their mindspace is usually an X but can also be different shapes.

Mindspaces are only given to gods, Jack has one, both his parents have them, Apate has one, and Euclid used to have one before they dies. All mindspaces have set passwords

Giving a mind space password to another god or even person is seen as the ultimate trust, as you are literally allowing that person in your head. So far the only person to have ever given their password to anyone is Jack, he gave it to Euclid after years of working with them. Euclid never entered it without permission despite being the worst entity ever.

Here is a drawing on how it kinda works

I hope this explains it

#oc lore #oc fun fact #oc stuff #my ocs

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sofasoap · 1 year ago

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YAYY!! I wake up in the morning and chpt 6 is here!!! ( and i plonk back to sleep after reading. oops )

which meant you weren't going to get drunk, you were going to avoid him.

OUCH... that really hurts knowing Sting is avoiding him.

on the mantle, he notices something definitely not left there by him; first, he spots the flowers he gave you, a little wilted and slightly squashed, sitting in a vase that was here when he moved in.

I would have thought sting would threw it away... but i guess if they didn't want it... they would have refuse to take it when Simon gave it to them.

it explained why he was so overly familiar with you. was that why you liked him more? you had to be close with him – closer than simon was with you. were you… involved with him?

Jealousy. Ah. but that does explain why Sting had Anderson with them in the infirmary and also ask him to take them home...

"because you need'ta sort out this thing between you and sting." johnny replies, pushing himself up to stand next to simon and giving his shoulder a firm pat. "you’re a pain in my arse, both of you." he grumbles, massaging the creases in his forehead over the fabric of his mask.

Gaz and Soap the wingmen and good buddies :) they are just worry about their L.T and their friend Simon :) You need to thank them later.

"c'mon, we're good together, we have history!" anderson's words are slurred, leaving no mystery as to just how drunk he is.

Dude, sometimes history doesn't mean SHIT. keep yourself away from Sting!!!

sometimes alcohol really brings out the worse of ppl. or their true nature? I feel bad for Sting. someone they think is a good friend, their good team mate.. and... their true colour shone through. it's such a pity. that word about " judgement of character " bit hits a bit too. a close friend of mine going through bitter divorce had that thrown at her by her soon-to-be ex husband. ...

suddenly price is in his face with a more than disapproving frown, walking him backwards with a firm hand on his shoulder. "get a hold of yourself!" he yells, commanding and abrasive.

oooff. Luckily Price is there to control the situation.

"you don't need to leave." he says, cringing under his mask at the sound of his voice. he hopes you don’t pick up on how pathetic he sounds. "you already have a house." "you have never apologised to me! not even once! after all the shit you've put me through, i have never heard the words 'i'm sorry' out of your mouth!" you scowl at him,

"i– i could've lost you. you could've died and then i'd have to live without you, and i can't do that…"

*sigh* poor Simon. trying very hard. that nightmare of losing his family his love one probably reeling back , when he saw Sting nearly killed themselves during the last mission. and with his history he has so much trouble opening up to ppl. i guess in a way its good Sting has pushed him to confess and face his fear and finally let their feeling known..

and can't help but think about what and idiot he'd been up until this point;

one word : YEP.

"it is, because you're cooking."

... is Simon's cooking edible?? * sweating *

Man how much i wanted to cry at the end confession scene... Simon breaking down, in front of someone he love.. 😭😭

Thank you so much for this chapter... I just love this whole series so much. you throwing us into the washing machine, hang us out to dry and throw us into the dryer, tumbling around again and again. but its all worth it :)

white flag ✹ ch 6

note: hoo boy, this one's a doozy. didn't mean to project so hard with this one, but fuck it we ball ᕕ( ᐛ )ᕗ

pairing: ghost x gn!reader

wc: 5.3k

no use of y/n reader's callsign is 'stingray'

summary: you reach a breaking point with simon, and he finally realises what he needs to do to fix things.

warnings: angst, hurt/comfort, some light violence, ghost finally getting his shit together, arguing, kitchen floor romance, fluff

ao3

【prev】 || 【next】

simon didn't see you at home. in fact, he found out from soap that you went straight to the pub with him and the others. you didn't even drop your car off, which meant you weren't going to get drunk, you were going to avoid him.

it stung – a feeling he’s become quite familiar with lately. but you wanted him to leave you alone, to give you space, and seeing as he had no idea what else to do, he would oblige.

he sits at the kitchen table, across from the chair that's become yours through some unspoken agreement. a random book is in his hands – an attempt to keep himself occupied, but he's been staring at the same page for the last twenty minutes and he hasn't absorbed a single word. you are the only thing on his mind, no matter how hard he concentrates on what's in front of him.

slamming his book shut with a frustrated grunt, he gives in to the fact that he's not going to be able to do anything meaningful until you get home. perhaps trying to talk now that you'd be alone would work out better than his previous attempts.

he intends to go straight up to his room when he leaves the kitchen, but for some reason simon finds himself standing outside the door to your room, peering into the darkness through the gap where you'd left it ajar.

he shouldn't go in, he knows that. from the start he'd promised himself to give you complete privacy – he hadn't even set foot in the living room since you'd moved in, apart from the times he brought you hot chocolate and put you to bed. it was the least he could do, offer you a space to call your own, since you really didn’t have much else.

but simon missed you; he missed being near you, the scent of your shampoo and the laundry detergent you use, just basking in your presence. he wouldn't touch anything, he rationalised, he just wanted to be surrounded by something that was you.

it’s dark, but he doesn't even bother to turn the light on, the hall light through the door illuminates the room enough for him to see where he's going. the armchair on the far side of the room is unoccupied, so he collapses there with a deep exhale.

the solitude must be driving him insane, because when he closes his eyes he can almost convince himself that you’re there with him, sitting across from him with one of his books in your hands. the disappointment that washes over him when he opens his eyes to be alone again isn’t rational, but knowing that still doesn’t dull the ache.

on the mantle, he notices something definitely not left there by him; first, he spots the flowers he gave you, a little wilted and slightly squashed, sitting in a vase that was here when he moved in. he feels a fleeting sense of relief at that, he wouldn't have been surprised if you'd thrown them straight in the bin.

but more interestingly, there's a photo frame, something simon owns exactly zero of, so it must be something of yours. he stands up, his curiosity getting the better of him, and takes the frame gently in his hand. tilting it into the light so the photo is visible, he feels a faint smile tugging at his lips at the sight of a younger you surrounded by your previous team.

you’re grinning widely, making bunny ears behind one of your teammates crouched in front of you, while someone behind does the same to you. as his eyes follow their arm to their face, poking out just above your head, he feels a sharp frown pull at his brows.

it’s anderson.

simon blinks a few times, in the hopes the he was simply imagining things – that his hatred for the man and lack of a good night's sleep was causing him to see things, but no matter how many times he looked away and back again, anderson’s face refused to change.

the urge to smash the photo builds up like steadily boiling water the longer he stares at it, so he places it back on the mantle before it gets too strong. why was he just now finding out you used to work with anderson? it explained why he was so overly familiar with you. was that why you liked him more? you had to be close with him – closer than simon was with you.

were you… involved with him?

the very thought makes his heart sink like a stone. his head feels light as he stumbles back out of your room, the acidic taste of bile rising in his throat.

not a moment after the door clicks shut, simon feels his phone buzz in his pocket, pushing his spiralling train of thought to the back of his mind. he pulls it out, the screen lit up with johnny's name on the caller id, but he doesn't want to answer it.

he lets it ring until the missed call notification appears instead. expecting that to be it, simon moves to shove his phone back in his pocket, but it buzzes again before he can get there.

it's a text this time – more of them coming through before he's had time to read the first. with a tired exhale, he opens the messages from johnny.

you coming pub? 20:23 pm

you should 20:23 pm

sting is here ;) 20:24 pm

no. 20:25 pm

why notttttttt 20:25 pm

cmon just get down here 20:25 pm

seriously i think you should come we need you 20:26

fine. 20:28 pm

let's fucking go 20:28 pm

better run tho be quick 20:28 pm

simon breathes a sigh of exasperation, but grabs his jacket off the hook. he doesn't even bother to change his balaclava for a more socially acceptable mask. whatever johnny's reasoning was for getting him to come to the pub, he was secretly grateful for the excuse to go out and see you – whether he would actually get to talk to you or simply watch you from the sidelines.

✹✹✹

slipping in quietly through the side entrance, simon is relieved to find the pub not nearly as rowdy as it is normally. it seems to be only the one-four-one and their associate unit mixed in with the locals, rather than being packed with soldiers like usual.

immediately he spots price, taking up a booth in the far corner, who raises a hand in greeting to him but otherwise stays put. the gesture draws johnny and gaz's attention to him, both of whom give him enthusiastic waves of their own.

he doesn't see you with them, which prompts him to scour the rest of the pub as he trudges over to his comrades. it doesn't take him long to find you over by the bar, though when he spots anderson unnecessarily close to you, he feels like his heart might just stop.

now that he knows you and him have history, simon feels a pit of hopelessness in his chest that he knows won't ever go away as long as he has to see you be happy with someone else.

it should be me, he thinks, a bitter downturn to his lips under his mask.

"why am i here?" he grumbles when he finally makes it to the booth, choosing to stay standing at the end of the table rather than sitting down with them.

"because you need'ta sort out this thing between you and sting." johnny replies, pushing himself up to stand next to simon and giving his shoulder a firm pat.

simon rolls his eyes to hide the way soap’s words make him flinch. "i've tried. they won't listen to me." he mumbles. he sees price shake his head in a show of disappointment, which only makes him feel even worse about the whole situation. aside from you, the captain’s been the hardest on him for the way he fucked things up, and while the sergeants clearly think he's an idiot, they've done their best to support him.

"then make them listen!" gaz exclaims, "explain yourself, tell them you'd do anything for them," he gestures one hand to where you’re standing at the bar, "tell them you love them!"

"i don't–" he begins to protest as he follows gaz’s hand, but the words die on his tongue when his eyes land on you; the dim lighting of the pub illuminates the way you smile so pleasantly, simon’s heart skips a beat. turning away from you before he becomes too entranced, he shoots gaz a light glare. "keep your voice down…"

"just tell them, l.t." gaz has an easy, knowing smile on his face when he meets simon’s eyes. looking between him and johnny, who wears a similar expression, he lets out a tired sigh.

"you’re a pain in my arse, both of you." he grumbles, massaging the creases in his forehead over the fabric of his mask.

"you're gonna do it, right?" soap grins from behind his pint, wiggling his eyebrows in a way that has simon groaning, but nodding nonetheless. "good lad, i knew you had it in ya!" soap claps him on the back once more before taking his seat again.

before any of them can bother him further, the sound of raised voices reaches their ears from the bar. not loud enough to hear what they're saying, but enough to know that there's a problem.

he's not sure what he's expecting when he turns around; but seeing you pushing a very drunk anderson’s arm off your shoulder with a scowl on your face, simon finds himself stalking over to you before he can even think about it.

"c'mon, we're good together, we have history!" anderson's words are slurred, leaving no mystery as to just how drunk he is. he leans further into your personal space, and simon watches your face scrunch up as you lean away, placing your hand on anderson’s chest to keep him at bay. "you're not seriously into that freak, are you? with that creepy fuckin' mask?"

that makes simon pause. he wanted to rip anderson away from you – of course he did – but he also wanted to hear your response, whether you would denounce him or not.

"oi!" you exclaim, an incredulous tone to your voice. "he is not a freak, don't be so rude!"

the way you defend him makes his heart swell. you also didn't deny what anderson said, and though he knows it's arrogant of him, simon still holds out hope that you don't truly hate him.

with the tiniest smirk under his mask, simon closes the distance, coming to stand at your side between you and anderson.

"sting." he addresses you, meeting your eyes and completely ignoring the annoyed mumbling from the idiot on his other side. "you alright?"

the look you give him is one of surprise and relief, but you don't get to say a single word before anderson is pushing simon's shoulder so they're facing each other.

"lieu‐lieutenant ghost, fancy seein' you here," anderson is clearly annoyed at his intrusion, poking a finger into his chest that gets slapped away just as quickly. "come to show everyone how big 'n tough you are, eh?"

"andy, stop it." you hiss, pushing him back again and stepping between him and simon.

anderson scoffs at you. "why should i? we're not at work, he can't do anything, he's just some random loser." he glares up at simon, a pitiful attempt at intimidation he knows he wouldn't dream of trying if he was sober.

"give it a rest, sergeant." simon grumbles, rolling his eyes at the way anderson puffs his chest out and stands up straighter.

"y'know, sting was right, you're a huge fuckin' arsehole," anderson spits, ignoring the way you try to keep him away when he steps around you be face to face with simon again. "can't blame 'em for not wantin' to put up with you anymore."

simon flinches ever so slightly at that, but thankfully anderson is too drunk to notice.

"that's enough." he growls, his nails digging painfully into his palms.

"no, no! what th'fuck is your problem, man?" anderson shouts, shoving simon's chest – which doesn't move him, but pisses him off anyway. "you think you're so much better than me, but you hide your ugly mug behind that fuckin' mask like a pussy!" his raised voice draws the attention of the other patrons, and an uneasy silence falls over the room as the background chatter halts.

"just fuckin' shut up," simon rolls his eyes again, shifting his gaze over to you and jerking his head in a gesture for you to move. "c'mon."

"and don't even get me started on sting!" anderson continues, pointing a swaying finger in your face which gets slapped away the same as before. "you're so obsessed with them, it's creepy as shit, everyone knows it!"

"i'm not–"

"they must be a fuckin' freak n'all, to be into you, you're both fucked in the head–"

"watch your fuckin' mouth." simon spits, taking the front of anderson's shirt roughly in his fist. he could insult simon until his last breath, but to drag your name into this ignited the flame of real anger in his chest.

"ghost, let's just go." you grasp his wrist, the one holding anderson, and perhaps if simon could focus on anything other than the smug little bastard he's moments away from punching, he might’ve felt the warmth that your touch brought him.

"–that's why they have go to the bloody psy-psychiatrist all the time, they're fuckin' mental–" the moment the words left anderson’s mouth, simon feels every sliver of restraint he had immediately leave his body; the only sound he can hear is the rushing of blood in his ears as his face twists in rage.

"shut the fuck up." he seethes, rearing his free arm back to throw possibly the most satisfying hit of his life; but before he can land it, his arm is immobilised he’s being yanked away from the sergeant.

suddenly price is in his face with a more than disapproving frown, walking him backwards with a firm hand on his shoulder. "get a hold of yourself!" he yells, commanding and abrasive.

simon grunts and pulls price's hand off of him, leaning around the captain just in time to see you deliver a fierce slap to anderson’s face that resonates in the quiet of the room.

anderson’s head whips to the side with the blow, the shell-shocked expression displaying the clear bruise forming on his cheek and his ego. simon had to admit, the sight of that prick with a bright red handprint on his cheek was incredibly gratifying.

"don't fucking talk about me like that." you spit at him, the most intense glare he's ever seen on you creasing your features. simon notices the way it softens when your eyes meet his, as johnny pushes you away from anderson – who's still reeling from the hit, but nobody bothers to take care of him.

he can't take his eyes off of you. it's like the rest of the world has just faded away and you're the only other person left, because right now, you're the only person that matters.

its drizzling by the time you drag him out by the arm. the damp air has a somewhat sobering effect on him as he allows you to pull him along with you.

"i could’ve handled that." you mutter angrily over your shoulder. you're taking him in the direction of the car park, the orange glow of the lamp posts casting shadows on your irritated expression that he finds himself admiring like fine art.

"i'd do it again." simon replies, still having never once taken his eyes off of your form. when you let go of his arm, having arrived at your car, he immediately feels the absence of your touch. he watches you walk around to the driver's side, meeting his eyes over the car and pausing in your tracks.

you hold his gaze for a moment, before looking down and shaking your head.

"just get in the fucking car." you mutter, opening the driver’s side door and disappearing from his sight. he follows suit without question, the car shifting under his weight as he settles into the passenger seat.

you pull out of the car park without another word, your face hard as you pointedly ignore his eyes on you. the silence between is thick, without even the white noise of the radio to break it.

in some way, simon’s glad you chose him over anderson, that you're driving him home rather than taking the side of that idiot. but, then again, he remembers the history the two of you must have, and he feels mildly guilty for potentially breaking up a long-term friendship of yours. not too guilty, though; the guy was a certified dickhead.

when the tension becomes too much, he decides to ask the only question that's been circling his mind like a vulture since he laid eyes on your photo.

"you know him." simon mutters. it's more of a statement than a question, really. "i saw the picture."

he sees your eyes narrow, his own still locked on your profile as you face the road. "you went through my stuff?" you reply, a small frown pulling at your brows.

"no, i just saw the picture." for a moment, he’s afraid he’d unintentionally started another argument, but his words only evoke a deeply exhausted sigh from you.

"he's just one of my old teammates." you reply, the sadness in your voice tugging at simon’s heartstrings. "i thought he was my friend, but obviously i'm not a very good judge of character, am i?"

perhaps that was a dig aimed at simon too, but he can only really focus on how disappointed you sound.

"it’s not your fault. he’s just a twat." he attempts to reassure you, to hopefully make you feel better, but he can't tell how successful it was.

"i know that now, i just–" you huff, cutting yourself off as you pull up outside home. you shut off the engine, massaging your temples with the same frown still on your face. he's tempted to say something more, but no words come to him.

"nevermind, i don't even wanna think about it." you sigh, quickly getting out of the car and slamming the door behind you. he follows behind, the lights of your car flashing as you lock it, illuminating the way your shoulders are slumped as you disappear into the house.

simon figures you'll want time to cool off after what happened, perhaps a cold cloth for your hand that's undoubtedly stinging after such a powerful hit. the memory is enough to make him smile lightly, a feeling of pride blooming in his chest for you.

he creeps upstairs on autopilot, his gaze lingering on the closed door to your room as he passes by.

it's still quite early in the night, so he's not surprised when he hears your door open and shut again downstairs – you going to sit in the kitchen, he assumes.

he wanted to talk with you alone, without the threat of anderson interrupting him again – and now is as good a time as any.

you're sitting at the kitchen table with your laptop open on some real estate site when he shuffles into the room. he stands in the doorway, watching as you continue sifting through nearby flat listings without looking over to him.

neither of you speak. you're not willing to break the silence first, and neither is he.

for a moment, simon just stands there, staring at you. he can see you watching him from the corner of your eye from where he shifting uncomfortably by the door. he half expects you to tell him to piss off, but to his surprise, you stay quiet. taking your silence as a sign that you aren’t, in fact, revolted by his presence, he inches closer and closer to you until he's standing directly next to where you're sitting.

still, neither of you say a word.

a minute or two passes with him looming over you, watching as you scroll through page after page of available flats, a shadowy figure in your peripheral.

eventually you find a reasonably priced listing, and when you click it, only then does ghost speak up.

"you don't need to leave." he says, cringing under his mask at the sound of his voice. he hopes you don’t pick up on how pathetic he sounds. "you already have a house."

"what? what are you talking about?" your eyes remain locked on your screen as you reply, voice flat and disinterested.

simon releases a shaky sigh, his nerve quickly faltering the longer you continue to ignore him. there's a brief pause as you inspect the words on your screen, before simon brings his hand up behind your laptop and firmly closes it. with an annoyed huff you finally look at him, piercing him with a narrow glare.

"you live here." he murmurs, staring intently back at you, fighting with himself to keep his expression neutral, to stay strong.

with me. the unspoken words hang heavy in the air.

"i can't stay here, there's only one bed for christ's sake." you grumble, brow furrowed as you pinch the bridge of your nose. "my back can't handle sleeping on that sofa forever."

"then sleep in my bed." there’s no hesitation in his words; he would gladly sleep on the lumpy sofa-bed if it meant you would be more comfortable – if it meant you would stay. the sound of your chair scraping the floor echoes in the stillness of the kitchen as you stand up, to be closer to eye level with him.

"oh what, and leave you on the sofa? in your own home?" you scoff, shaking your head as you step around him.

"well, yeah. you– i…" he reaches a hand out to touch you, stopping himself just above your elbow before he pulls back. the gesture stops you in your tracks, drawing your gaze back to his eyes. "don't leave." he murmurs, just above a whisper.

your mouth opens to respond, but his words catch you completely off guard. your eyes flit down, and he knows you can see the way his hands tremble at his side. he felt so… vulnerable, a word he never expected to apply to him, of all people, but you had that effect on him.

"just stay…" he whispers, a desperate plea as he squeezes his eyes shut to block out everything except you and him. "please…"

another tension filled silence stretches between you. he opens his eyes again, blinking as he meets your gaze. there's a profound sadness there, dragging your features downwards in a frown that sinks his stomach.

your sigh breaks the silence.

"i can't keep doing this, ghost." you mumble, dipping your head and rubbing your eyes.

"...what?"

"this! one minute you're nice to me, then you're a complete dickhead, and then you're back to being nice again." you exclaim, waving your hands around in frustration to amplify your point. "it’s exhausting."

"that's not– i'm not doing it on purpose." he frowns, the internal panic that arguing with you causes rising to the surface.

"this is what i mean! you're just making excuses!" your voice has a desperation to it that strikes him like an arrow through the heart. you turn sharply away from him, focusing your gaze somewhere on the wall.

"then just tell me what you want, for fucks sake!" he pleads, shuffling to stay in front of you and try to coax your eyes back to him. "whatever it is, i'll do it!"

"tell you what i want?" you laugh wryly, looking back to him with an expression he can only describe as offended. "i want you to apologise to me! i want you to say you're fucking sorry, and i don't want to have to wring it out of you!"

your words ring in his ears, bouncing off the walls and back at him like an echo chamber.

"you have never apologised to me! not even once! after all the shit you've put me through, i have never heard the words 'i'm sorry' out of your mouth!" you scowl at him, your eyes glossy with tears threatening to fall as your voice breaks. "thats all i've ever wanted from you!"

simon can't shake off the stunned feeling your words impart upon him; all this time, had he really never apologised? he'd just assumed that you knew he was sorry, without ever having actually said it.

the answer was practically smacking him in the face the entire time, and he still somehow managed to completely miss it. no wonder you were fed up with him – no wonder everyone kept looking at him like he was an idiot.

he's never felt more like a fucking moron than he does in this moment.

he's broken out of his haze by the movement of you sitting back down in your chair, lowering your head into your shaky hands and taking an equally unstable breath.

"you say you don't know what to do– you keep saying you regret what happened, but you never tell me why!" you briefly lift your head to cry out at him, and he just about sees the wetness on your cheeks before it's hidden behind your fingers again.

he takes one large stride to be standing in front of you again. "i was trying to help! havin' any kind of phobia will get you killed in this line of work. i was trying to help you because…" he speaks with a similarly desperate tone, his hands floating uselessly in the space between you. "be–because i care about you."

"well you could've fooled me." you sniffle, lowering your hands slightly, your gaze staying locked to the floor. "why didn't you just say that to begin with? why bother with the tough guy act?"

"it's not that simple…" he mutters, frozen in place, afraid that one wrong move would send you bolting like a cornered animal.

"why?" you cry, tilting your head up to catch his eyes with your own reddened ones, "what are you so afraid of?!"

simons heart beats out of his chest, the rhythm so aggressive he was sure he'd go into cardiac arrest.

"i'm in love with you!" he blurts, the tremor in his hands increasingly obvious as he digs the heels of his palms into his eyes. "...that's what i'm afraid of." his voice is little more than a whisper now, the silence following his declaration only serving to hurt his heart further.

when he peeks back down at you, there's a look of pure shock on your face. your mouth is agape, your eyes flickering between both of his, and simon feels as though you're staring straight into the abyss of his soul.

"and i am sorry, i'm so fuckin' sorry, for everything– all the shit i gave you when you first started, for never givin' you a chance, for screamin’ at you," he continues, his own voice subtly cracking, "i– i'm so… in love with you, and it fucking terrifies me..."

he wanted to touch you, so badly, and with the sheer amount of raw emotion racing through his veins, he can't find it in himself to resist the urge.

simon sinks to his knees in front of you, his fingers grasping your wrists in a featherlight touch and pulling them away from your face with a gentleness he wasn't sure he possessed.

"i– i could've lost you. you could've died and then i'd have to live without you, and i can't do that…" for the first time in a long time, simon feels the sting of tears in his eyes as he caresses the pulse on your wrists with his thumbs, "i'm sorry…"

"simon…" the way you utter him name sends his heart fluttering like a caged bird in his chest. you'd never called him anything other than ghost or lieutenant before now; he never thought he could enjoy hearing simply his name this much.

"i'm so fuckin' sorry, i'll never treat you like that again, i swear." his voice is weak. he presses his forehead to your fingertips to hide the anguish in his eyes. "i'm sorry, i love you, just… just let me down easy, yeah?"

there's another pause, yours and simon's ragged breaths the only sound disturbing the silence.

"why would i let you down?” you whisper from above him. the words send a jolt of shock through him, the implication halting his breathing for a moment as he processes what you mean.

"don’t say that…" he mutters, squeezing your wrists ever so slightly tighter, not quite ready to let go of you yet.

"i'm in love with you, too."

his head snaps up to meet your eyes. "no, you– " he sputters, bringing one hand up to cover his mouth despite the mask still hiding his terrified expression "you can't… you deserve so much better…"

"i don't care what you think i deserve," you wear a tiny smile as you pull his hand away, your tender hold on his wrist mirroring his own on yours.

"i’m– i’m not good for you." he feels the tears building up again, blurring his vision.

"shouldn’t that be for me to decide?"

simon can hardly believe what's happening, when you bring your other hand up to his cheek, caressing his face through the fabric. he still doesn't let go of your wrist.

"i don't… you– i can't–" his tongue can't seem to form the words as he gazes up into your eyes, the kindness and warmth there overwhelming his senses. "i can't be what you want."

"you already are what i want." you sink to the floor as well, lifting your other hand to cup his face with a blinding smile. "i love you, simon."

for a moment, all he can do is revel in the warmth that bleeds through the fabric of his mask from your hands, pushing his face more into your touch like an affectionate cat.

a desperate noise escapes the back of his throat, his eyes fluttering shut. "...say it again?" he whispers the plea.

he feels your lips on the bridge of his nose, and his eyes snap back open at the sensation. "i love you, simon. more than anything." you murmur, shuffling closer when you kneel between his legs and pressing your forehead to his.

simon thinks he could die happy in this moment. to think, all the pain of the last couple of weeks – the last year, really – had all amounted to this, and can't help but think about what and idiot he'd been up until this point; to have waited this long to feel your touch, it was almost unthinkable.

he sighs, his breathing still evening out. "i'm so sorry…" he whispers. he goes to snake one arm around your waist, but hesitates just before touching you. as of sensing his dilemma, you give him a pleasant hum, wordlessly giving him permission to place his hand firmly on your back. he brings you that much closer with it, the feeling of holding someone a novelty to him.

"i'll forgive you, on two conditions." you reply. simon can sense the smile in your voice even with his eyes closed.

"anything."

"one, we talk to each other from now on, properly." you begin, and simon nods as adequately as he can with your forehead still against his. "second, you have to go on a date with me– to atone."

at that he opens his eyes, pulling back slightly and looking at you with a raised eyebrow. "not sure that counts as a punishment, love."

you chuckle, meeting his sceptical gaze with a playful glint in your eyes. "it is, because you're cooking."

he chuckles, deep and rumbling in his chest, and drops his forehead gently back to yours, allowing his eyes to flutter closed again.

he'd cook for you for the rest of his life if you asked, if it meant he could stay like this, with you.

taglist p1: @sofasoap , @siilvan , @mockerycrow , @i-love-ghost , @projectdreamwalker , @achelois-is-here , @adamsloverboy , @thatchickwiththecamera , @chickensandwich69 , @batmanunicorns523 , @tiny-kasper , @dezibou , @pampeop , @cumbermovels , @goth-boi-atlas , @berryjuicyy , @guiltgoreglory , @postmodernrevolutionist , @untoldshortsofthefandoms , @delilah-grimes , @sunflowerqueen1416 , @luvssemma , @sunshiinegaz , @imonmykneessir , @kenz-ee , @eistro-phobia , @rzmarona ,

@alanalanalanalanalanna , @cathnoneofyourbusiness , @madsothree , @geisterfvhrer , @lazyninjaphilosopher , @koi-feish , @chaoticgoblindev , @clear-your-mind-and-dream , @thrivig-n-jiving , @lesterous , @glitterypirateduck , @slu77ym4nw415ts , @livelaugh-light , @trulylavendedarling , @stateofcatatonia , @rivalriotrenegade , @yoichiislovie , @nirvanaaaonly , @ameliaamareeee , @sapientiia , @thesecretwriter , @susanmukami , @ryze1113 , @stars-andfreckles , @spya1 , @tunaa-luvchrm , @tzutology (p2 in separated reblog)

#not my fic #simon ghost riley #call of duty #simon ghost riley x gn!reader #simon riley x gn!reader

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itsnothesameasitwas · 3 years ago

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!!! - please be careful and read all the tags and/or warnings before start, left kudos and nice messages to the authors <33

❀ Lover Boy by @brightgolden | 21k | E

“I’d love to meet your lover boy one day,” Lottie says suddenly as she pours Louis a whiskey on the rocks after their dinner.

OR Where Louis wants to tell everyone about his relationship with Harry, but his boyfriend clearly thinks otherwise.

note: I'm a big fan of the author (she knows) and honestly I suffer a lot when I was reading this because idk... it was a different kind of angst i guess?? but loved the end!!!

❀ Rooms on Fire by @softfonds | 34k | E | ABO/MPREG

Ten years ago, Louis helping Harry through a heat was the start of a romance that ended in heartbreak. Now, Harry's marriage is over thanks to his husband's very public infidelity, and Louis is fresh off a Golden Globe win. The last thing they both expect is to be cast in the same movie.

note: PER-FECT! this fic is everything!!!! it's one of my favorite fics tbh, I've re read it like 20 times at this point and still so good!!! I think y'all alr know but I'm a sucker for ABO and this is just so precious and well written!

❀ Years of Blood and Magic by @beelou @thedevilinmybrain @foreverfanficaddict @justalarryblog @idolizingthelight @whatevertearsyou @out-of-road | 30k | M

Harry goes along willingly, but frowns, intrigued by who else is helping Liam on the case. “You have another… like me? In there?” “Hm, not like you. I mean, like you in the supernatural sense? Yes. But I hope you don’t mind, take offence or even feel threatened by him. I was desperate, and he’s been surprisingly helpful behind the scenes like you a few times." “May I know who it is?” Harry stops dead in his tracks right in the doorway just as he sees Louis turning to face him. The spell is broken once Louis opens his mouth and rolls his eyes. “For fuck’s sake, Payne, it had to be him?” --- When Detective Payne calls Harry to help him catch the murderer that is killing children and vampires in their city, Harry and Louis must set their differences aside to fight against the biggest threat they have ever faced.

note: SO GOOD. I definitely hate the vampire thing (it's just not an ana thing yk) but this was so so good! i also never read 'supernatural' things and probably is because i hate how are eritten but these authors = chef kiss <3

❀ Love Mends the Pain by @justalarryblog | E | 12.7k

Marcel Twist, better known as Harry Styles, is a well-known model around the world. One day, he was invited to take part in a photoshoot for the new Olympic uniforms for the British athletes. What he didn't expect was for Louis, his ex would reappear in his life, bringing back memories and feelings that Marcel wished he'd forgotten.

note: I DIDN'T GET THE NOTIFICATION! I've waited for this fic MONTHS! and Beca knows, she knows that I'm her biggest fan tha reason is that her writing styles its just so beautiful!

❀ Caught Up in the Countryside by @cowboylarries | M | 59k

Louis tried not to think about how he got here; that would only make him angry again, and he was not about to have an angry cry on this grimy bus. He just had to accept that he was on his way to Hinckley, Utah—population: 800—with only a duffel bag full of clothes and a melted iced coffee. And a broken heart, but he didn’t like to call it that.

Louis Tomlinson had a great life, or so he thought, until everything came crashing down on him and he had to run away from his hurt. When he ends up in a little cowtown in Utah, everyone is so friendly, including Harry Styles, the hot hotel chef. Louis is welcomed into Harry's friend group but Louis isn't so sure that he can just be friends.

note: Dillon you made me cry, this fic is amazingly beautiful and well written, i think stef was the one with the 'y'all needs to read this bc dillon is so talented' and shes so right!!!! still waiting for the cowboy rides a cowboy tho hehe

❀ in a world alone by @falsegoodnight | E | 51k

Harry’s breath catches as the glow grows bigger and bigger until he’s squinting his eyes and blinking at the sudden intense brightness. He closes his eyes, rubbing at them helplessly. When his eyes open again- he gasps, grip loosening on his bow as he gawks at the sight before him.

Because the swan is gone.And in its place is the prettiest omega Harry has ever seen.

-A Swan Lake AU

note: ABO + Swan Lake = perfection!! I absolutely love this author's fics, they're always so good and well written and most of the time i want more (but it's just impossible)

❀ blue songs are like tattoos by @loubellies | E | 30K

Good morning, University of California, you’re listening to KALX 90.7 FM Berkeley, this is DJ Harry Styles. If the owner of the tapes I’ve been finding around the studio doesn’t come forward and introduce himself, I’m going to continue tossing them straight in the trash!”or the DJ Harry and Rockstar Louis fic.

note: honestly, i'm a sucker for those fics were louis is so independant and he's willing to do what's necessary to achieve your goals, also this writer 📈📈📈

❀ voicemail sings a wreck by falsegoodnight | E | 37K | ABO

Louis doesn’t have any proof, but he’s pretty damn sure that even when he’s dead and buried six feet deep, Harry Styles will still find a way to haunt him in his grave.

-Or, Louis is the president of the biggest omega sorority on campus, Harry is the president of the biggest alpha fraternity on campus, and they do not get along.

note: recently i was looking for a college au bc i enjoy them way too much, and this showed up on the ao3 results and okay i absolutely loved the enemies to secret lovers to lovers dynamics

❀ a letter for every Christmas together by @louboobear | NR | 15k | MCD

Louis and Harry have this strange tradition, where every Christmas they give each other letters, these letters tell their story over the years.

A month where Louis travels down memory lane, enjoying his late husband's favourite holiday, laughing and crying, because that's what he does every Christmas, he remembers Harry as if he had never left.

note: this is a MCD xmas fic, i had the luck to read it the draft and it's a beautiful fic, the death is not narrated which is great IMO. It's a really cute fic tho! y'all give it a try bc my best friend wrote it!!!

❀ louis' 30th birthday celebration by @laurelsmybeloved | E | 1.9k

Right when Louis heard “yes” he jumped up the stairs, rushing to the master bedroom, but stopping short at the sight.

So. This is what Harry was up to.

note: laur... she and her fics = chef kiss, new authors are everything and deserve better!

----------

this is a 'ana stopped reading fics for a while bc she was too busy so she's finishing her october/november/ december fic rec' lol

ps. LEFT KUDOS TO THE AUTHORS!!!

#trackinghappily #tracksintheam #trackinghome #hlcreators #hljournal #1dsource #monthly fic recs #28th appreciation

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fizzyxcustard · 3 years ago

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Too Close.

Fandom: Stay Close

Pairings: Ray Levine x fem!reader friendship (with hints of feelings on her side)

Warnings: Slight pining, angst, upset, worry, anxiety, ghosting. SPOILERS. But the fic is below the 'keep reading' icon. Enter at your own risk of reading spoilers (which you certainly will)

Summary: You are very close friends with Ray, but you're slowly wishing for something that he can't give you.

Comments: So I've just finished Stay Close. The show itself wasn't really my cup of tea, but this fic was an excuse to use the character of luscious Ray and also get some unwanted feelings out of my system; most of this is kinda what I'm going through at the moment with a male friend. Little bits have been added in though, or magnified to add a bit of drama to the fic. Hope you enjoy, and as always, if you want to be added to my tag list or removed, let me know.

It was exhausting. All of it.

Ray still hadn't moved on entirely from Cassie. Even though their relationship had ended nineteen years ago, and he'd last seen her in person two years ago. You were only there to pick up the pieces of a dream that had been shattered, and it was all at the cost of your own wellbeing. How selfish could you be to walk away?

You and Ray had become friends through working together. He was the photographer for the local newspaper, and you worked in the editing room. However, you had since moved on and now worked in a higher paid role with less hassle.

Ray would message you through WhatsApp every day or two, offering the normal pleasantries, and always say how good a friend you were. Never anything more than that. It didn't matter how often you sat up with him on phone calls and text discussions, talking about his old flame, and a couple of other women in between, you knew you would never be good enough. Always the friend and never anything more.

Some conversations had even become sexual, the two of you relieving each other's frustrations a little through kinky jokes, memes and sexting.

Sometimes you would find yourself imagining what it would be like to walk hand in hand with him, be the apple of his eye and be the first choice you always wanted to be. A few times you had even asked him to promise you that he would never settle for just anyone. Ray deserved the love of a good woman, and maybe you wanted to be that love for him. You felt in your heart that you would always have enough love for anyone.

And, finally, one day you couldn't take it any more. He had been discussing sending a letter to Cassie, after finding out where she was now living with her husband, Dave, and their children. That morning and when you saw his usual kind greeting, you knew it would mean discussing Cassie again. Going through reams of conversation about a woman who had left him out of the blue, broke his heart and was now married. It was killing you inside.

You often felt like screaming, "Look at me Ray! Look at ME! Just see me for a second, not your ex who couldn't give a damn about you, but me...who cares. If you just allowed yourself to think of the possibility of something more happening between us, I'd show you I care and that I could be everything you want. You want kids, and often say how you feel you're past it. I'm not. I could give them you."

Ray had seemed put out by your response, and questioned if he'd upset you.

Yes, you have upset me, but in a way you could never understand. And in a way that I'm not ready to talk to you about. I might never be ready. I still haven't figured out in my head how I feel. Am I developing feelings? Or am I just trying to cling to a chance of something happening out of the want for love? I don't want to be alone anymore, Ray, and I know that you don't either. But you need to let go of what's bad for you. Have I gotten too close?

You knew that keeping the barriers up, keeping your heart away from him, was slowly damaging you little by little. Headaches had started. Palpitations. You kept imagining him pacing his house, mind ablaze for Cassie.

Would he ever see past all the hurt of his own and see yours? Would he ever recognise your similarities and the ways you would compliment each other? Even if you did get together, Cassie would always be his number one. Never you.

The New Year's Eve text from him had said that you meant the world to him. Was that enough? Would it ever be enough?

You sat on your bed, your phone in hand, staring at the conversation that had gone on between you. Your thumb scrolled up the screen, masses of text from him talking about her. Followed by your kind and neutral answers.

Walking away seemed the only choice now. To stop this hurt. To stop all the insecurity and all the deep seated rage that was keeping you up at night, restless and with the sensation of your heartbeat muffled in your chest and neck.

What kind of friend were you to do that? Ray had never expected anything from you, and you were selfish to ever think he should give you something. It made you feel like the 'nice guy' who is 'friend zoned' by the girl they like.

The pain and questioning was too much.

The phone was growing heavy, until suddenly you began to type a message to Ray.

It started with "I'm sorry" and ended with you blocking his number, whilst sobbing and trying so hard to catch breath you felt would never come.

***

Follow Forever tag list: @narniaandthenorth @i-did-not-mean-to @shalinizhara @lathalea @middleearthpixie @xxbyimm @meganlpie

Richard Armitage tag list: @sketch-and-write-lover @cryptichobbit

#Richard armitage #fic #fanfiction #ray levine #stay close #ray levine x reader #ray levine x fem!reader #friendship #warnings in the top of fic #some personal feelings are in this one

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thefreakydeaky · 3 years ago

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Entrapment

Part Four: Fool Hearted Memory

Shane Walsh x Plus Sized Reader

Negan x Plus Sized Reader

Summary: Stuck in an unhappy marriage, Y/n finds herself drawn to the attentive and charming health teacher/baseball coach she meets at work. There's only one thing standing in the way, her husband's volatile temper.Y/n had long thought what she lacked in her life was love and acceptance, but her choice in partner would suggest something much darker.

⚠️Warnings⚠️: Angry Male Driver, Verbal Abuse, Smut, Unprotected Sex

The end of the period came too soon. If it was up to you, you would put off talking to Shane forever. He couldn't possibly have anything constructive to say. He was far too immature to show up asking for closure. You knew that much. What you hoped was that he didn't make a scene. Losing your job was not something you could handle at the moment.

You threw your shoulders back and kept your chin up as you got to the office. You caught sight of him right away. He'd shaved his head. He looked bigger than he had when last you saw him, more muscular. His biceps were stretching the white t-shirt he wore, his blue jean clad thighs apeared thicker than usual.

He turned and caught sight of you. His accusatory gaze killed any hope you might have had for keeping things civil. You gestured for him to follow you out of the administration building.

"What do you want?" You asked abruptly.

"That's no way to talk to your husband."

You glared at him.

"Soon to be ex-husband."

"Over my dead body." He stated, his tone sharp.

You looked him over from foot to head.

"You look good."

He raised one dark eyebrow.

"Meaning, you seem to be doing just fine without me."

"If that was true, I wouldn't be here."

"You shouldn't be here." You huffed.

"Would you've answered if I called?"

You rolled your eyes.

"What do you want?"

The flap of the state and national flags waving in the mid-March wind was the only background noise offered in the quiet suburban neighborhood.

Shane looked around warily.

"Come on." His hand latched onto your shoulder.

He pushed you toward the parking lot.You pulled out of his grasp, but followed him down the sloping lawn none the less. Better that he make a scene in the parking lot than in front of the principal's office.You stopped beside his truck.

His eyes gazed deeply into yours, their russet brown depths filled with emotion.

"I miss you." His voice was rough. "You're all I think about. You're all I want."

His hands cupped your face.

"I need you, [Your nickname]. You got no idea how much I need you."

He had never said such things to you before.He leaned in to kiss you.You didn't stop him.

His dry lips kneaded your own in a desperate plea. You accepted his tongue into your mouth, allowed it to caress your own, assuring yourself this was the final time. You found yourself kissing him back.

His hand found it's way into your hair, he tugged lightly. You couldn't help the moan that escaped you. Had he always kissed you this way?

He backed you up against the door of his truck.

"Come back to me. Come back home."

His leg parted your thighs, lifting your dress, pressing up against your satin covered sex. His hands grasped your hips. Your hand was at his neck, pulling him closer. You nipped at his lower lip. The low growl he emitted made you wet.

Shane pulled aside your panties. His middle finger found your clitoris and stroked the swelling flesh around it.His touch elicited a high pitched mewl from your throat. The tip of his finger circled your bundle of nerves again and again.

"You like that, Baby?"

Drunk on pleasure, you answered that you did.

"You want more?"

You nodded vigorously.

He unlocked the door to his truck.

You didn't give much thought to obeying his instructions as you climbed into the back seat. You unbuttoned and unzipped his pants. Shane pushed the fabric just low enough to free his cock. You lay back against the seat, the skirt of your dress pooled around your hips. You gazed up at him. There was something about his broad shoulders and large hands that made you feel delicate, like he could break you if he chose to. You knew it was a little twisted, but your pussy clenched at the very thought of his hand around your neck.

He pushed aside your panties and positioned the fat head of his dick at your entrance. He thrust slowly into you, sinking in deeper and deeper until his pelvis was flush with yours. His lips took yours in a searing embrace. His pace did not change. He made love to you as though he had all the time in world. Each slow stroke of his cock along your silken walls increased your mounting pleasure.

You sucked on his tongue as he kissed you. His wide palm grasped your breast. Your hands slipped down his back and cupped his ass. Though it was impossible you craved to have him closer. Only when your hips started tilting up to meet his thrusts, did he increase his pace. The lewd sound of his balls slapping against your wet taint spurred you on. Your body tightened. Your aching pussy squeezed around his cock as you came. Your mind reeling with ecstasy, you cried out his name. He wasn't far behind. Shane thrust twice more then with a muttered curse, he was cumming inside of you.

You looked into his eyes. You could not escape the truth. He could obsess over you, desire you to the depths of his soul and still never love you back.

The languid kiss he gave you after you straightened your clothes made it harder to shake off the fog clouding your mind. It scared you to notice that you did not want the kiss to end.

Shane pulled away first. He helped you out of his truck and steadied you when you reached the ground.

"I'll be here to pick you up at four." He informed you.

You stepped away, turning to face him fully.

"You'll be needing a ride."

You shook your head.

"No, I won't."

He smirked at you.

"Having sex doesn't fix what is broken between us. I'm sorry if that's confusing for you."

He wet his lips.

"Nah, only one here confused is you. See, your boyfriend went and got himself arrested for assault. So, unless you drove yourself here, you're stranded."

"You arrested him?!" Your eyes widened in horror.

You prayed that he was lying.The smug look he gave you made you feel sick to your stomach. Why had you trusted him? You knew better than to trust him.

You walked briskly away.

"Actually it was Monroe made the arrest." He called after you. "I was just comin' by to let you know."

You kept your gaze trained on the brick face of the building ahead.It took everything in you not to run as you fought the tears threatening to spill down your cheeks.

The bell rang. As you made your way through the wide hallways back to your classroom, you noticed there were several groups of teachers huddled together chattering. You could feel their eyes on you as you turned down the last hall. Before you could reach your classroom Rosita came up and stopped you.

"Did you know?" She asked without preamble.

"What?" You asked with a sinking feeling in your belly.

"About Negan. Did you know they were going to arrest him?"

You shook your head.

Your worst fear confirmed, you sat at your desk and checked your phone. You had no missed calls. You leaned back in your desk chair. Why hadn't he called you? Did he think you wouldn't answer? Part of you held the irrational fear that he knew what you had done. You weren't sure if sex with a man you were still married to counted as cheating. If the tight guilty feeling in your chest was any indication, then it definitely counted.

You did your best to teach through the last four classes, but you were distracted, waiting for the phone call that never came.

Once your last class ended, you gathered your belongings and began the process of setting up a ride on uber. To your relief you reached the front of the building as the car pulled up to the curb. The feeling was short lived. It curdled in your belly as you noticed Shane waiting for you just beyond the glass doors.

"I told you I don't need a ride."

He took hold of your upper arm as you tried to walk passed him.

"Let go of me!" You cried out.

Some students and a few members of staff turned to look your way.

Shane dropped his hold on you and smiled politely at them as he followed you to your uber.

"Fine." He said quietly. "Thought you'd be interested in findin' out how to get the charges dropped, but hey, it's your loss." He shrugged.

You stopped short.

"What do we have to do?"

"Get in the truck an' we'll talk about it." He commanded.

You sighed.You went to the passenger door and told the uber driver you had a change of plans. You tipped them and followed Shane to the parking lot.

••••••••••••••

The quiet was beginning to get to you. At first, angry as you were you had been okay with not speaking for a bit. Now, he'd passed the exit to the station and you'd had enough.

"You missed the exit."

"We're not goin' to the station yet."

He didn't even look at you. He kept on staring ahead. Not at the traffic, but through it.

You held on tightly to your purse.

"You said you would tell me how to get the charges dropped."

A nerve in his jaw ticked.

"I said, we would talk about it."

You winced as he changed lanes with barely enough space to pass in front of the car.

"So get to talking."

He sped up. His large truck cowed the car in front of you, riding it until the driver switched lanes.

"I been thinkin' about what you said." He grunted. "You're right.Sex won't fix us."

You swallowed nervously as he blew down the road.

"The thing is, I'm not over you. Only way I can get over you, is if you help me."

You blinked rapidly. You heard what he said, but you couldn't fully process. Not when he was going eighty-five miles an hour on a high way meant to be driven at sixty.

"Slow down." You tried to sound commanding. Your voice shook ruining the effect.

"You gonna help me?"

"Shane!" You cried out as he narrowly avoided ramming into the back of a nissan.

He raised his voice.

"Help me and I'll drop the charges."

You cringed in your seat as he crossed into the next lane, and then the next.

"H-help you how?!"

"You're gonna be my whore. You're gonna fuck me till I've done everything I ever wanted to do to you. till I get sick of you."

"I-I-"

He began to let off the gas, slowing in small increments as the seconds passed.

"I-I can't."

"Why not?" He huffed.

He took the next exit that came up. Rather than continuing to slow down, your speed increased as he hit the access road.

"You know why!" You yelped as he took a sharp turn.

"Being with me didn't stop you from whoring around behind my back."

You gasped as he turned again.

"You cheated on me with him. How's this any different?"

He came to a screeching halt at a red light. You jolted forward, your seat belt biting into your shoulder from the force.

"Your boyfriend is guilty. There's no denying it. Here's what'll happen, I'll take him to court. Rick will testify, then the bouncer. He'll be charged with assaulting an officer, a felony. He'll do time. When he gets out, if he makes it out, he won't have a career to get back to. That's if getting arrested in front of the kids didn't ruin it already."

You didn't realize you were crying, until a tear drop hit your forearm. You looked up and to your surprise he was pulling up to the police station.

"Or you can do what I'm askin'. " He proposed. "And I'll walk in there and tell 'em they got the wrong guy and I'll get those charges dropped."

You gazed at the glass doors. The people inside went about their shift like nothing was a miss. They answered phones, processed arrests as if you weren't being threatened in the parking lot just twelve feet away.

"It's your call."

You took an unsteady breath.

This was all your fault. Negan's life would be ruined because he fought for you. How could you do that to him? He had been kind, sweet, generous. You couldn't let him lose everything. You wouldn't.

"Yes." You ground out. "I'll help you."

"Atta girl." He sneered. “Atta girl.”

#negan x plus sized reader #Shane Walsh x plus sized reader #Negan x Reader #Shane Walsh x Reader

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little-diable · 4 years ago

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Please respect that this is my own work and I worked really hard on those imagines, don’t copy or edit stuff. However reblog, comment and like as much as you want. Enjoy my loves. xx

Mind Games (Series, with Patrick Jane, on hiatus)

The reader had once worked with the CBI, trying to help Patrick Jane catch Red John. Now, as she is part of the BAU and dating Aaron Hotchner, her past is coming back to haunt her. Will her team be able to support her through it? Will her relationship survive her clash with old times, memories she had been running from and a run in with her ex-lover?

A bit of heat, a bit of anger (smut)

Aaron has never treated her as kindly as he treats the rest of the team, but after a fight between them and a guy trying to chat the reader up, Aaron can't hold himself back any longer.

Profiling 101 (complete Series, Prof!Hotchner)

The reader enrolls in professor Hotchner's class "Profiling 101", a man she has always looked up to, a man who treats her like an asshole from day one. Will her need for academic validation manage to push the two closer together? Will her bright mind push her into the world of Aaron Hotchner and the BAU team? Will he manage to keep his distance before the world he tries to protect her from can get its grasp on her?

For you, always (smut)

The reader is best friends with Derek, a friendship Aaron can’t stop himself from being jealous of, unable to let go of the crush he has on the youngest team member.

I wish I didn't, but I do (one bed smut)

The reader and Aaron have to share a bed as they hunt yet another unsub, but Aaron growing jealous of an officer flirting with the reader just makes things even worse; pwp

What was I made for? (Soulmate smut)

The reader has been forced to accept that her soulmate has moved on, leaving the mark of his name to fade out on her wrist. But what if her soulmate is her new supervisor? Will they realise that they were destined to be?

Burnt Brownies (undercover!Hotch smut)

A new neighbour moves into the house next to (y/n)'s – Mark, a tall, handsome man she falls for far too quickly. All good things come to an end eventually, and sometimes people aren't what you may think they are.

How did she? (smut)

(Y/n) runs into Aaron at a coffee shop, and even though she wonders why his name sounds so familiar, she ignores the warning signs. Dad's best friend

The professor (smut)

The reader works as Hotch's TA, helping him with his course work while falling more and more for the professor.

The 30th (angst and smut)

The reader got into a car crash, chased by their unsub, while she's fighting for her life, Aaron is forced to realize that he'd kill anybody who hurt the reader in a heartbeat. Or: Colleagues to lovers

Punishment (smut)

Aaron punishes the reader, overstimulating her till she can only cry his name.

Truth or Dare (smut)

What if it hadn't been JJ and Spencer, but Emily and Aaron? How will the reader react to hearing Emily confessing her love for Aaron, the reader's husband?

Home is where your heart is set in stone (smut)

It's been weeks since their unsub has almost killed the reader, and now she's forced to join her boss on an undercover operation, as his wife. And yet it doesn't take long for her feelings to push her closer to the man she had always been crushing on.

Love Actually (smut)

The reader has been in love with Aaron for years on end. And yet early on she has realised that she should move on, hoping that he'd find somebody worthy of his love. Now she is stuck in a loveless engagement, while her thoughts aren't letting go of Aaron and the life they could have lived together. But, perhaps something may change this Christmas, perhaps she'll get another chance to love the man she has loved her whole life.

Hold me close, at least for a little while (smut)

The reader is sent in to flirt with their unsub, even though Aaron tried to keep her from doing it. When the situation spirals out of control, Aaron is right there to take care of her.

Trust (angst/smut)

the reader gets involved in a case that pulls her deeper into her dark past, now she’s a suspect, involved in the murder of her ex-boyfriend, will the team still trust her? Will Aaron fight for his one true love?

#aaron hotch imagine #aaron hotchner #criminal minds imagine

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crashdevlin · 4 years ago

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Leftoverture 3- Carry On

Author’s Note: Don’t get me wrong, I loved the finale, but I was thinking about how much I miss Dean and I couldn’t stop thinking about ways I could have him back so…I’m going canon divergent while being as close to canon as possible. ‘Cause that’s how Cassie do. This is where Leftoverture officially crosses over with Crash Into Me!

Summary: Sam tries to convince Dean to talk to his widow, but it takes a visit from an old friend to get him to do the right thing.

Pairing: Dean x OFC

Word count: 3755

Story Warnings: angst, Post-barn scene sads, mentions of major character deaths (Dean and AU!Sam), mentions of depression, memory fuckery,

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

“Hey, get off the phone. Who are you texting?” Dean asked, looking over at Sam’s thumbs tapping out a message.

“I’m...just letting some people know that you’re back, okay? What?” Sam defended, pulling his phone out of Dean’s reach as his brother tried to grab it.

“She better not be part of that group text, Sam. I will kick your lanky ass.”

“Dean, come on.”

“She has mourned me! She’s probably just starting to get okay and you want me to break that? Not to mention the kid. How are we supposed to explain to her that I’m just suddenly not dead anymore?” Dean pulled over onto the shoulder and glared at Sam until he rolled his eyes and sighed, hitting the X to take his sister-in-law’s number away from the list that included Bobby 2.0, Jody, Donna, Charlie 2.0, and Garth. “Thank you.”

“It’s only been a month. You think she’s starting to get over you already?” Sam finished tapping out his text as Dean pulled back onto the interstate.

“I think I’m a threat to her life as long as I’m in her life, man. I mean, that’s why it took us so long to get together in the first place, because I knew that me being a hunter was gonna put her in the ground and it was just lucky for all of us that it put me in the ground before her.”

“Don’t say th-”

“It’s better for her to think I’m still dead!” Dean exploded. “If she knows I’m alive, she’ll come back to the bunker and she’s gonna end up dead and that’ll be on me! Okay, it’s better if she thinks I’m dead and we keep it that way!”

“So, I guess you’ve made up your mind on this one?” Sam asked.

“Yes!” Dean nodded, somehow still keeping his eyes on the road. “You know what, yes, I’ve made up my mind. Because she deserves to live a life that I’m not ruining. She never wanted the job to encroach on her life, or Rebel’s, okay? Fuck, if I ended up getting that little girl hurt, I could nev--and you know she only agreed to marry me in the first place because Chuck was gonna kill us all anyway and he’s not a problem anymore and what happened to my ring when I bit it? You didn’t burn it with me, did you, because that was a really good silver ring and if you melted it with me, I’m gonna be pissed.”

Sam shook his head in disappointment. “Your wife was wearing it on her thumb last time I saw it.”

Dean sighed and licked his lips. “It’s better this way, Sam. I know you don’t see it, but it’s better.”

“Right. You, uh, you remember when you guys were ‘just friends’ and she started dating that asshole that didn’t know what ‘no’ meant?” Dean’s jaw clenched tight at the memory. “You remember how pissed off you got that she was dating someone, let alone a Dom dickbag like him, and how you spent the entire weekend trying to get dirt on him to use to get her to dump him?”

"He was tryin' to put things in her while she was drunk! He deserved a bullet through the skull for that shit and he's lucky she wouldn't let me go talk to him."

"Yeah, I know. He was a piece of shit, but you didn't know that when we got there. You just didn’t like him because he was dating her."

"I'm a good judge of character and she is not. She dates douchebags. She always has. I mean, look at her cheating son-of-a-bitch ex-husband. If she's dating them, they're douchebags."

Sam rolled his eyes, obviously catching Dean’s self-deprecating undertone in that sentence. "Okay, but you're just gonna let her date someone else? You're gonna let her find some other douchebag to date that you won't be able to save her from?"

"I didn't save her from Mike or Drew. She was already half out the door on both of them before I interceded with either. And I know what you're doing and it's not gonna work." Dean pointed his finger in Sam’s face. "You're not gonna get me all jealous so I go find her because I'm afraid of her getting over me and moving on. I want her to move on. I want her to have a good life. That's the whole point here, man."

"Dean, she's not going to move on. She's gonna be devastated the rest of her life because you aren't-"

"So, we should make it worse by putting her through it twice?!" Dean snapped. "We should make her have to watch me burn another time, right? We should make her clear her shit out of the Bunker in a few years too? We should make her live with the hope that one day I'll manage to make it home again? We should put her heart back together just to shatter it into pieces again when I die permanently? Fuck you, Sam. I can't do it to her. I just...no."

Sam took a deep breath and shook his head sadly. "Fine."

"It's better this way. It's just better."

"Sure. It’s better.”

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

There was something cleansing about a simple werewolf hunt. Sam was being a little overbearing, but Dean understood why. Sam didn’t want to see him die anymore than he wanted to die again. There were only two wolves and they went down easy. It was a textbook hunt...just like the vampire cult should have been.

Sam shook away memories of the night in the barn and followed an energized Dean out to the Impala. It wouldn’t happen again. Not anytime soon. Dean was around to stay. Sam would make sure of it.

“So, hit the motel, pizza and beer, head back to the bunker in the morning. Did you report my death to the fire department because I’m still wanting that job and I’ll have to think of one hell of an excuse if you told them I died.” Dean shrugged, continuing before Sam could respond. “I’m gonna need to come up with an excuse either way, but an excuse for a month of radio silence is easier than an excuse for comin’ out of the Lazarus Pit, ya know?”

“I...didn’t say anything to them, Dean. It was really low on my list of priorities to tell the Lebanon Volunteer Fire Department that Dean Campbell was dead.”

“Awesome. I’ll figure out what to tell them. For now...pizza.”

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

“No, I know, it was a crazy situation, but I honestly think getting lost in the Yukon without a cell phone was probably the best thing that could have happened to me." Dean laughed into the phone as he walked into the library. "Yeah, exactly. Never gonna take a warm, dry bed for granted again. Well, thank you so much for understanding, Captain. I'm excited to get training. That's gonna be...yeah, I'm gonna be there. Thanks again."

Dean smiled as he tucked his phone into his pocket. "He bought it. Thanks for putting those fake Canadian news pieces up. Appreciate it."

"Okay, but what if someone else searches your fake name, Dean?"

Dean rolled his eyes. "You think she's Googling me?" He stepped forward and looked down at Sam sitting at the library table. "She Googles me and she'll find a story about a man named Dean Campbell getting lost in the Yukon and surviving on moose and wolverine and melted snow. No pic, no identifying words. She'll look at it, say 'It is a miracle this guy survived' and then she'll move on to the next search result, okay? I don't understand why you're all up in my business about this but-"

"You don't miss them?" Sam asked, pushing his hair out of his face and leaning forward.

Dean bit his lip and shook his head. "No, I do not."

Sam stood and looked down into his brother's eyes. "Well, I do."

"Well, they're staying gone." Dean patted his brother's shoulder and walked toward the hall. "Good talk."

He sat on the edge of his bed and ran his hand down his face. Of course he missed her. Of course he missed the little girl he treated as his own daughter...or...the other Dean treated like a daughter. It was just too difficult. Explaining to his wife was one thing, an easy thing. She’d come back in a heartbeat and it would all be fine between them. She wouldn’t care that he wasn’t exactly the same in body, that he had different scars and a slightly different pattern of freckles or that his hair wasn’t quite right even after trying to make it work for four damn days.

She fell for him because of how he treated her, how safe she felt with him, how he made her feel. All of that was in the memories. How he felt about her was in the memories, too. He loved her in a way he'd never been able to let himself love anyone else. She was so much different than any other woman he'd considered making a life with because she was like all the best parts of them all mixed together. She was smart like Cassie Robinson, badass like Jo Harvelle, understanding of the Life without being part of it...with a kid, just like Lisa. He remembered that...and he knew that he'd never find another woman like her.

That was okay. He didn't really want another one: another woman, partner, wife. He couldn’t see himself opening up like that to someone other than his short little badass. And Sam was right that he didn't really want her with someone else, either...but she deserved it. She deserved to get over him and move on to greener pastures. So he had to stay away. For her good, he had to stay dead.

For the good of the little girl, too. If he just came back from the dead, it would completely fuck that little girl's understanding of life and death. It would fuck her up for life.

Dean sighed, picking up his phone and kissing his lock screen; the picture they took on the beach for their honeymoon. He held the phone over his heart for a minute and lied back, staring at the ceiling until sleep took him.

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

Dean smiled as he sat in a folding chair on the side of a soccer field, watching a short blonde girl dribble a ball between her feet on the green grass. "She's gettin' good," he commented to himself.

"She missed tryouts this year," a familiar voice said. Dean gasped a little as he turned in his seat to look at the angel in the beige trenchcoat. "They moved back to Florida too late for her to be placed on a team."

"Cas? Are you--is this--this is a dream."

"Yes. But...my presence is not." Castiel smiled as Dean stood and wrapped him in a hug. "Jack saved me from the Cosmic Entity from the Empty. We've been improving Heaven."

Dean pulled back and sniffled as he slapped a hand on Cas' shoulder. "Man, where have you been, then? We've missed you."

"Angels stay in Heaven now. Jack and I thought it was best to keep our interference to a minimum." Cas chuckled. "I'm not technically supposed to be here now."

Dean licked his lips. "Well, then...what's with the, uh, Freddy Krueger you're pulling?"

"Dean requested it. He knows what's been happening on Earth, that you've taken on his memories and essentially become him, and he knows that you are avoiding Cassie."

Dean scoffed and stepped back from the angel. "I'm sure he's got an opinion on all this."

"He does. He has a strong opinion on what you're doing and what you should be doing." Castiel stepped closer. "He told me to tell you to get your head out of your ass. He said that, if you have his memories, you're in love with her too and you need to go to her. He knows you couldn’t live with losing her forever...so don't lose her."

"Cas, she's better off without me."

"Is she?" the angel challenged. "Because she’s Dean Winchester’s widow. Doesn't that put a target on her back?"

Dean pressed his lips together in a thin line and looked away. She could handle it...right? "She's got protections...and we taught her to fight. She's gonna be fine."

"Dean told me to tell you that if you don't get in his car and drive to Florida, he's going to 'rip your pansy lungs out'," Cas said, doing air quotes. Dean scoffed. "He was very adamant that you go to her."

"Fine. But it's gonna hurt her. I'm gonna hurt her." Dean was absolutely serious but Cas just smiled and shook his head a little. "Hey, uh, Cas? Before you go...I'm...I'm not gonna get to see you again, right? So, don't you think we should talk about-"

"I think that would be a bit redundant." Castiel’s smile brightened, crinkles forming at the corners of his eyes. "Dean and I have spoken at length about my sacrifice and the words spoken before Billie and I were taken to the Empty."

"And?"

"And Dean Winchester’s Heaven is full of people who love and cherish him...who see him for the hero he is. He never believes he's going to hurt any of them. You should learn from his example."

"DEAN! Look!" Dean looked behind him to see the girl kick the soccer ball at the goal. He couldn’t help the smile that crossed his face.

"Great job, Youngblood!" he shouted before turning back around. The angel was gone.

~~~~~~~~~~~~~

Dean smiled tightly at Sam as he walked into the kitchen the next morning. “So, uh...I’m gonna take a few days...drive down to Florida.”

Sam’s eyes lit up. “Really?”

Dean nodded. “Yeah...Castiel came to me in a dream last night. Said the original me is up there in Heaven and he’s very unhappy with my choice.”

“Really?” Sam was obviously amused.

“Yeah. I don’t know if it was really him or not. Maybe it was just my brain kickin’ me in the ass but...I’m gonna go get ‘em back.”

“Thank you. I was hoping you’d come to your senses.”

“Yeah, yeah, anyway...I’ll be back in a couple days. I’ve got training on Monday so...it’ll be a short trip. Maybe she’ll come back, maybe she won’t but…” He shrugged. “Don’t know ‘til I go talk to her.”

“Good luck, man.”

Dean nodded before heading to the garage. He had plenty of time to get nervous as he drove toward his in-laws’ house in North Florida. A month wasn’t too long. She’d gone longer without him in the past, but...he was alive back then. She knew he’d be back eventually.

He parked the Impala down the street. He wanted to see her before he talked to her. He needed to see how she was working through his death...if she even needed him. Dead Dean told him to go, but if she was moving on, he’d just get back in the car.

She was on the porch when he arrived, coming around the neighbor’s house to hide in the shadows around the side of her parent’s house. “It’s still hard. I don’t think it’s ever not gonna be hard. I still keep wanting to hear that damn Impala coming down the road. But even if I did hear it...I know it’d be Sam.” Dean bit his bottom lip. She was still mourning him. “I don’t know, Manda, but Erik has been a godsend.” His eyebrows went up. Who the fuck is Erik? Did she move on already? “He’s the only reason I get out of bed most mornings. He’s been helping a lot with Aria, driving her to school in the morning and making breakfast. Oh, he makes the best pancakes.” She gave a small chuckle. “Not that I need pancakes. I’ve put on, like, fifteen pounds since he died. Yeah, that is a lot. Erik doesn’t think so either...and Dean wouldn’t care...but I care”

Dean watched her shrug before shaking her head. “I don’t know. He seems nice but...my parents didn’t even know Dean and I got married, so of course Erik doesn’t know. He doesn’t understand...but he’s helping anyway.” She sighed and hummed a little into the air, staring up at the moon. “It’s still just really hard.”

Dean watched as she finished her phone call to her best friend and kept looking up into the night sky. He had to force himself to step around the side of the house and toward her. “Who’s Erik?” he asked. It was the only thing he could think to ask. Green eyes behind thick, dark glasses went wide as she turned to look at him.

“Dean?” she squeaked.

“Mostly,” he whispered as she threw her phone to skim across the grass and launched herself at him. He closed his eyes as she wrapped her arms around him, overwhelmed by the feel of her warmth against him. “Come on, Crash, I taught you better than this. Where’s your silver and holy water, baby?”

“Inside,” she sobbed out into his chest. “But I know you’re you. I can feel it.”

He pressed his lips to her hair and took a step back, leaning down a bit to look directly into her eyes. “I am me, but I’m also...I’m also not. Can we...can we take a walk?”

“Of course!” she agreed, sniffling and wiping at her eyes under her glasses.

They started to walk out of the yard onto the street. “Okay, but before I get into my whole thing...who the fuck is Erik?”

“Oh, he’s a maintenance guy, works with my dad. When I moved to the Bunker, Erik rented my room.”

Dean nodded, his lips pursed. “So, he’s your parents’ tenant and you’re letting him take your daughter to school?”

“My parents trust him...I trust him.” She stuck her hands in her pockets and shrugged. “He’s a nice guy...and he’s a writer, too. He was shocked by the number of notebooks I have. He used to do all of his writing on his computer, but he’s started writing in notebooks since I showed him the versatility of handwriting a story. He said it was like going back to simpler times.”

“Okay. I guess...so, he’s just…”

“He’s just a guy that lives at the house.” She looked over at him as he jammed his hands in his jacket pockets. “So, how are you back? Sam burned you. You shouldn’t be back.”

“You remember when Chuck was destroying the other universes and the other versions of me and Sam showed up? They were fleeing their world.”

“I remember. Sam wouldn’t take his hair down.”

“Right, well...um…” He cleared his throat. “Couple weeks ago, Man-bun Sam died in South America. Werewolves...and Dean couldn’t take it and he did a full wipe of his memories so that he wouldn’t have to remember and Sam went to Rowena to get her to fix it. Her version of fixing it was to give him, give me, your husband’s memories.”

“So, you’re-” She stopped in the middle of the street and turned to look at him. “You’re not my Dean?”

“Of course I am. I’ve got all of his memories. I’ve got all of his love.” He rubbed at the back of his neck. “Slightly different body...and a different soul. Your Dean is in Heaven. But I’m just like him. I’m exactly like him, Crash.”

She swallowed and searched his face for a few moments before she looked away. “The day we met...why was I crying?”

She was quizzing him, testing his memories, seeing how much like her husband he really was. “Mike left you,” he said quietly. “It wasn’t the first time...or the last. Rebel was about...two years old and you were tryin’ to hold yourself together. We shared some beer and talked about the monster Sam and I put down...and you gave me your number.”

“You, uh, you had a tattoo that I designed...it burned so you don’t have it now, but what-”

“I’ll get the rune again,” he interrupted. “So you can astral to me again.”

“Oh, it is you,” she whispered.

“It is me.” He wrapped her in a hug again and she grabbed at his jacket to hold him to her. “I don’t know how to go about this, though. How are we gonna explain to the kid that-”

“I-I don’t know.” She pulled back and shook her head. “I don’t know if she even caught on to the fact that you were dead...all I said was ‘gone’. I just said you were gone.”

That might make it easier. “Is she back at the house?”

“No. She’s with her father. It’s just Erik and my parents at the house right now.”

“Do your parents know I died? I’m just trying to determine if we can go in or if I’m sleeping in the car tonight.” He smiled at her as she sighed and looked away.

“I told them you broke up with me.”

“So, can I come inside?”

“You’ll have to sleep on the couch...unless you wanna sleep on the floor in Aria’s room. I’ve been sleeping with her on her loft bed since Erik has my old room and bed and all that.”

He smiled and headed toward the house, her hand in his. “She still have that big pile of stuffed animals under the loft?” She nodded and he smirked. “Then I’ll sleep in her zoo.”

She led him into the house and started up the stairs. They were halfway up the stairs when the door to the room that used to be hers opened. “Cass?” a voice asked. Dean stopped in his tracks.

“Didn’t mean to wake you, Erik.”

“It’s okay. I was just worried when you didn’t come back in. Are you-” Shadows fell over Dean and Crash as a figure stepped to the top of the stairs. “Oh, shit.”

Dean’s eyes narrowed as he stepped around his wife and up a few stairs. “What the hell are you doin’ here?” he demanded.

“You’re dead,” the blue-eyed man squeaked.

“About as dead as you’re about to be, Chuck.”

~~~~

The Kitchen Sink - @emoryhemsworth @flamencodiva @wasabiwitteks @rainbowkisses31 @rissbennett @mariekoukie6661 @officiallyunofficialperson @dolphincliffs @mrs-meghan-winchester @gayspacenerd @foxyjwls007 @ilovefanfic86 @marvelfansworld @f-yeahfandoms @wonderlandfandomkingdom @hhiggs @sev3nruby @hobby27 @paintballkid711 @divadinag @thewhiterabbit42 @fantasymyth-1 @queenoftheunderdark @cosicas-cuquis @superfanficnatural @letsby @supernatural-bellawinchester @onethirstyunicorn @swinchester27 @chalicia @screechingartisancashbailiff @death-unbecomes-you @dayasvalkyrie @paryl @wereallbrokenangels @the-american-witch @that-one-gay-girl @tatted-trina6 @sunshineandwings86 @lunarmoon8 @wheezyeds @vicmc624 @couldabeenamermaid @vulgar-library

#cassie writes stuff #leftoverture #spn fanfic #dean winchester #sam winchester #post barn scene #angst

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softsebnbuckystan · 4 years ago

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Soul ties - Part 11 (Bucky Barnes au)

"High hopes, when you let it go, go out and start again"

It took Bucky exactly eight minutes to meet you in the kitchen after you'd come back from taking your things at Darren's. He didn't say anything right away, placing a hot cup of fresh coffee in front of you.

"Black, no sugar," he told you.

You smiled softly at that small thing he'd managed to remember about you. Damn, your standards were low.

"How did it go?" he asked as he sat before you.

"Not as bad as I imagined," — you sighed – "even though he still found a way to be a dick."

"I'm sorry."

You shrugged as you held on tight to your cup. "It's not your fault, don't be."

"I kinda feel responsible, though."

You took a sip of your warm drink before instinctively grabbing his hands on the table.

"The only thing you're responsible for is making me see how he already was. I should thank you for that."

"I just..."

Footsteps made you remove your hands and place them back around your cup as you looked down. Bucky cleared his throat, visibly uncomfortable as well.

"I didn't want to interrupt anything, sorry," Steve apologised. "Buck, Tony just confirmed we're going on a small mission tomorrow. You're still up, right?" He looked back and forth at you and his friend. "You can also stick around if you want. It's not gonna be difficult."

Bucky's eyes interrogated you for a second. Did he want to stick around to stay with you? You wish you knew. He tilted his head on the side, thinking.

"Nah, I already said I'd come."

"Cool. It's just gonna be Nat and the two of us. We should be fine."

As Steve laid a comforting hand on your shoulder, you felt his last sentence was more directed at you than it was at Bucky, who would actually be on the mission. He squeezed your shoulder before leaving the two of you alone again. The awkwardness that lingered in the air was killing you : had you made him uncomfortable by kissing him? Had he changed his mind about you?

"This is weird," you finally said. "I made it weird, I'm sorry, I shouldn't have..."

"Hey, hey, calm down," he whispered. "You didn't make anything weird. I just don't want to you to think I'm pushing you to anything so I..." — he shook his head – "I though not saying anything about what happened between us would make you more comfortable."

"Thank God," you breathed. "I thought you regretted it."

"How could I?" He stared at your eyes, his own checking out your lips for a second. "I'd do it again without any hesitation if you asked."

You felt a tickle in your stomach as he leaned towards you, his elbows resting on the table.

"What if I asked now?" you questioned, feeling your cheeks heating up.

The shadow of a smile appeared on his face as he grew closer to you, teasing you with his slow motion. You put your chin forward to make your intentions clear. Taking the hint, he brushed his lips against yours, sending shivers down your spine. You allowed your hand to touch his neck to pull him in and kiss him deeper. You soon felt him smile before he pressed a kiss on the corner of your mouth and sat back properly. You rested your head on your hand and shot him a bright smile before acknowledging your feelings and what you'd told Wanda.

"I'm scared, Buck," you confessed. "I don't want to impose my mess of a sentimental life on you."

"You mean that husband of yours?" Bucky scoffed. "It's not gonna be a problem, doll."

You chuckled at the nickname before grabbing his hand again. "I'm talking to Tony tonight to see if he knows a decent lawyer. After that...I'll have divorce papers drafted," you explained.

Bucky gently squeezed your fingers. "Are you ready to do it now? You have the right to wait."

"I know," you said, distractingly drawing circles on his hand with your thumb. "I also know that the sooner I do this, the less time he'll be able to torment me, because... I'm convinced he won't let this settle in peace."

"I'll be there. All the way."

You couldn't help but smile as you looked at both your hands. It felt so natural that you couldn't even feel any guilt about your marriage.

"Alright lovebirds, I've waited long enough for my tea," your sister joked as she walked in.

You let out a delicate laugh before getting up. "I'm gonna go work in the lab a little," you said. "I promised Bruce I would look into our tissue theory."

"Can I watch?" Bucky asked in an eager voice.

"Of course! I'll even teach you a few science tricks if you're nice enough." You smiled once more. "See you, Wanda!"

---

"Thanks for doing this with me," you said. "I could've gone alone, but..."

"Hey, it's alright," Sam told you. "That's what friends are for."

"Mrs y/l/n?" a young man asked you. "Mr. Reyes is ready to meet you."

You got up and breathed out before entering the attorney's office. As he invited you to take a seat in front of him, you quickly explained Sam was here to support you.

"Mr. Stark told me you might come with a friend," he told you as he grabbed a pile of paper and his pen. "Do you know what you want out of this divorce? Money, the house?"

"Oh, hum..." You fiddled with your fingers and Sam gave you a nod of encouragement. "All I want is to get out of this marriage. He can keep the place, I don't care. We don't even have joined bank accounts."

"Yeah, I noticed that. A smart move from you, lady." He took some notes before asking you for your postal address. : you gave him the compound's one. "You won't need elaborate papers for this, I believe. Regular ones will do it just fine, and I promise you'll be out of it in no time, provided your future ex-husband signs them soon enough."

"About that... What should I do if he doesn't?"

"Is it a strong possibility?"

You looked at Sam as you debated the question. You hadn't been married for long, but you believed Darren's ego and pride could possibly make this procedure trickier than it actually was.

"Yeah. He's not really happy with my decision."

"If he doesn't sign, then we'll settle this in court. Don't worry, though, we'll make sure we don't have to. Shall we go over the papers together?"

Once you were out of the office, Sam decided to stop at a bar to buy you a drink. "You deserve it," he said. Sitting there at the counter, a beer in your hand, you were anxious about Darren signing papers that hadn't even been sent yet.

"He'll sign them, y/n. And if he doesn't do it willingly, I trust Steve and myself to convince him."

He bumped your shoulder, making you chuckle.

"I hope you're right. I really don't want this do be dramatic. I know it's unfair to him, but..."

"Wait a second," he interrupted you. "Divorce isn't unfair given the way he's been treating you for years."

"I know that now. Both Wanda and Bucky have made it seem very clear to me. But he still deserves a real soulmate, one he will treat right. And I shouldn't have lied to him in the first place."

Sam took a sip of his beer and you took a minute to check out the beautiful small carvings on the edge of the counter. The whole bar had a dark, comfy vibe that you found yourself to enjoy a lot. The bartender had obviously recognised Sam, but he was chill about it.

"Maybe, but the same reasoning applies to you," your friend replied. "You deserve to be with your soulmate, and so does Bucky."

"You're probably right. Thank you again for coming along. I would've asked Wanda, but..."

"You didn't want to bother her and Vision, didn't you?"

"Yeah, and Steve was on a mission, so... Plus, you're way more chill than he is," you said, laughing a little. "Don't tell him I said that."

"I won't."

"I'm glad we're friends, you know? You, Steve, and the others...you're family to me now."

Sam patted your shoulder.

"I know. We'll always be."

You nodded slowly, taking another sip before Sam's phone started buzzing. He picked it up quick.

"Stark? What's up?"

You couldn't hear Tony's voice on the other end of the call, but Sam's furrowed brows had you worried. He looked down for a second.

"We'll be here in no time."

He hung up, probably making this one of the shortest calls in history.

"What's wrong?" you asked. "I know something's wrong. Tell me."

"They're back. We gotta go."

Sam grabbed his coat on his chair and dropped a bill on the counter to pay for the beers. He didn't even bother to wait for his change and you followed him outside.

"Okay but why the rush, Sam?"

"Bucky's hurt, and you're the only doc available right now."

--- And that's part 11! Part 13 will be the last one and it's making me emotional... :)

Tag list : @ginger-swag-rapunzel @joscelyn02 @writehistorynotthegrocerylist @bluemoon-icecream @lady-loki-ren @simplybombshell @lizajane3 @livingonkpop @kaitieskidmore1

#bucky barnes x y/n #bucky barnes #sebastian stan #sebastian stan x reader #sebastian stan imagine #bucky x reader #james bucky barnes #self insert #x you #x y/n #mcu #mcu fanfiction #marvel #captain america #cacw #catws #tfatws

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sweetcherrypie1967 · 4 years ago

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Halloween Gala (pt 1)

Hermione Granger was not going to attend the annual Halloween Party the Ministry threw. At least, that's what she had thought. She wasn't the kind of person to enjoy party's much, she preferred to spend her time reading, working, or spending time with family or those in her circle of friends.

However, this was not what was going to happen.

Why was this? Because one of her best friends came over begging Hermione to go with her.

"Please 'Mione! Dad and Ron both work for the Ministry so we're all expected to go, I don't think I can be around Harry so soon..." Ginny Weasley explained.

"I don't know, Gin.." she said unsure of what to tell her.

Ginny and Harry had broken up a month and a half ago, they both decided they were better off as friends. However, Ginny has taken the breakup really hard and wasn't ready to be around Harry much. As Harry, Ron, and Hermione had become Auror's together, avoiding Harry Potter was not an easy task for the youngest Weasley.

It was easiest for her to be around Hermione. Firstly because they were both girls and Hermione could better understand what she's going through as she had gone through a breakup with Ron a year prior. Secondly because while Hermione was technically an Auror, she worked in the research part of the department while the boys were in all the action.

"Pleeeaaase Mione, we can just hangout the whole time if that's what you want! It's a masquerade so no one will know who we are," The redhead pleaded.

"It's not hard to figure it out, Gin. Plus that's what you said last time you dragged me to a party and you left me by the punch bowl," Hermione pointed out.

"Fine, you can bring a book then! And this year they're putting a charm on everyone at the door so you won't recognize them," Ginny urged. Hermione groaned and her friend smiled, she knew she won.

Now Hermione was standing awkwardly by the punch bowl in an overly fancy dress and uncomfortable masquerade mask. She cursed herself for letting Ginny get her into this because what she assumed to be Harry had come over and wanted to talk to her privately which is a good thing, however, that leaves Hermione all by herself. Ginny and Hermione instantly told each other who they were once the spell was cast on them, Hermione could piece together who Harry was.

When she saw a glimpse of Harry and Ginny through the crowd she knew it was going to take awhile for the Weasley to return as her face was as red as her hair in anger. So Hermione found a place to sit and began to read the book she brought, Pride and Prejudice by Jane Austen.

As she was finishing up the chapter she was on, an oddly familiar voice spoke.

"Good choice of book," they said.

"Uh thank you," Hermione said looking up to find a man standing there in an expensive suit and, though it was hard to tell with the dark lighting and mask he wore, blond hair. "You read muggle books?" She asked, while she loved reading them it was rare for her to find a witch or wizard who shared the same interest.

"I do actually," the voice said.

"Do you have a favorite?" She asked to which he thought for a moment.

"While I've read quite a few, the one you're reading would have to top them all," he told her, "any favorites of yours?"

"My favorite has to be Little Women, I do enjoy Pride and Prejudice though I find it difficult to see how Elizabeth could change her mind about Mr. Darcy so quickly," Hermione said.

At that the two, who believed each other to be strangers, chatted away about books wizarding and muggle alike. They debated their thoughts and preferences in each piece of literature brought out, finding they were quite comfortable sharing more and more about themselves, while making sure to keep their identity's secret.

After what felt like a few minute but what in fact much longer, Hermione noticed a change of song that happened to be a favorite of hers. She perked up and lightly swayed to the music, the man seemed to take notice.

"Might I have this dance?" He asked holding his hand out to help her up.

"You may," she said taking his hand and moving to the dance floor with him. "I think it'd be important to warn you that I'm not a very good dancer," Hermione said.

"Don't worry, I happen to be a terrific dancer," he said with a confident smile.

"We'll just see about that," she said smiling back.

"Indeed," he agreed.

The man really was a good dancer, Hermione didn't even step on his foot once throughout their time dancing. It felt natural with him, as if they were two parts of one whole. Their conversations took a deeper turn as they learned more personal things about each other, such as their upbringing or having gone to Hogwarts. This time it was quite difficult to keep who they are a secret, though they somehow managed. The hours flew by and they paid no mind to time and could stayed there dancing throughout the entire night.

But like all good things, it ended too soon.

A small shriek rang through the room, when Hermione looked up she found Ginny storming off away from whom she assumed was Harry, who looked helpless and ashamed. Hermione made a reluctant step towards her friend, the man didn't fail to notice.

"Friend of yours?" He asked.

"Yes actually. I'd better make sure she's alright, it's been wonderful meeting you," Hermione said with apologetic eyes before dashing across the room to the girl in question.

*****

Draco Malfoy stood by the punch hoping the woman he'd just met would return. He found himself charmed by her quick wit and character, not many witches or even wizards he's met have either. Draco watched her hurry off, as he got lost in thought about the last hour. He was interrupted from his thoughts by someone coming up next to him and began talking.

"This party is less lively then my Mum's fifth husband," Draco knew this was none other than his closest friend, Blaise Zabini, whom he brought with him to the party.

"Was he the one with or without the lisp?" Draco asked. Mrs. Zabini has had a long line of ex husbands, all having been "unexplainably" killed soon after marriage, so it was difficult for Draco to keep up with all of them.

"Without, he had more of a drawl," Blaise explained.

"Ah," Draco said without much interest, his mind wandering to who this mystery woman might be and noticed that she was no where in sight.

"What's eating you, Mate?" Blaise asked upon noticing his detached behavior.

"Nothing is "eating" me, Blaise, I'm just trying to figure something out," Draco said with a roll of the eyes. Before the Italian could retort, Draco perked up as his grey eyes found the girl once more. Blaise followed his gaze and a teasing smirk formed on his face.

"Trying to figure out the girl over there I presume?" Blaise said.

"I recognized her voice, I just can't put a finger on it," Draco complained, "stupid bloody spell."

Blaise laughed, "well all will be revealed soon, midnight is in half an hour."

"I suppose.." Draco agreed.

He would much rather have the satisfaction of figuring it out on his own but he knew his friend was right, at Midnight everyone's masks (magical and physical) will be taken off to reveal their true identity. The truth was, Draco was nervous to be around her when it was revealed who he was. While Lucius Malfoy was sent to Azkaban, his wife and son weren't punished except for the harsh treatment of the remaining Wizarding World. This was one reason why Draco had become an Auror, to help rebuild himself and his name.

"Hey," Blaise said putting a hand on his friend's shoulder, "don't let your fear get in the way, either go over there and sweep her off her feet or you can spend forever wondering what could've happened."

Draco gave him a weak smile, they've been friends their entire lives and Blaise knew Draco sometimes better than Draco knew himself. He was beyond grateful to have a friend like him.

"Thanks Mate," he said before Blaise walked off into the crowd.

As Draco was still getting the nerve, he saw his friend start talking to the mystery woman's friend before they made their way to the dance floor. This was Draco's chance. He walked over there to see her watching his friend dance around.

"Would you be up for another dance?" Draco asked slightly nervous.

The girl grinned when she saw who it was, "I'd love to."

And, they did.

This time, however, they didn't spend much time talking but rather laughing and enjoying the other's company. Draco spinner her in an attempt to dramatically end the dance, however this resulted in her laughing that contagious laugh.

The woman calmed herself and they now had both Grey and brown eyes locked on the other's, all humor forgotten. Draco hadn't even realized he was leaning towards her until she was doing the same. Their lips crashed together and nothing else mattered, they were the only things that existed in that moment.

Not even the loud timer buzzing and streamers being released to announce it was midnight.

Their masks were gone.

They didn't hear the other partygoer's reactions to what they were witnessing. The gasps of their friends and strangers alike.

At least, until they broke apart for air to find the change in appearance.

"Granger?"

"Malfoy?"

#dramione #harry potter #blinny #draco x hermione #draco malfoy #hermione granger #ginny weasley #blaise zabini #blaise x ginny #ministry of magic #post hogwarts #dhr #dhr fanfiction

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mama-ghostie-61542 · 3 years ago

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A Thousand Lifetimes

Rated M++ for language and themes

If you recognize it--IT AIN'T MINE

Sorry for the OOC-ness

Chapter 7

Kihyun

The next day, after two fittings with costumes, two phone interviews, a shoot for an ad, and a tv spot; I finally got back to the dorms, and back to that story.

Bryn PoV--

As if today wasn't bad enough, I walked into the house to find it completely empty. The kids wandered around and I tried to field a million questions about where they were gonna sleep and what we were gonna eat. That and the meltdowns every five minutes led me to try to call my little brother. I really just needed to talk to another grown-up. As soon as I had supper figured out, I called Joey.

"Hello," said a voice on the other end of the phone.

"Ummm. Hi?"

"Oh. Hello," The voice was familiar, but it wasn't Joey.

"Is Joey close?"

"Sorry. Who?"

"Sorry. Jooheon. Kids call him 'Uncle Joey'. Guess it stuck."

"Hmm. No. You just missed him."

"Dern. Can you pass on a message?"

"Sure."

"Can you tell him to call Bryn when he gets back?"

"Oh! I didn't recognize your voice, Bryn. How are you? It's Kihyun. Joey is in the shower. Can I help you with whatever you need," I asked, biting my lip and praying she would say yes. Just the sound of her voice was both soothing and somehow able to tie me up in knots.

"Actually, I was calling to vent. I've had a particularly terrible day today. Joey is my sobriety sponsor."

"He is? Wow," I said before Honey came charging at me, his hair still wet. "I would still LOVE to talk to YOU," I shouted.

"Gimmie my phone, Kihyun."

I handed him back the phone and heard him say

"What's up, Sis?"

Though I couldn't hear exactly what was said, I could tell by the look on his face, it wasn't good.

"Really?"

Then, Honey sighed. "Lemme see what I can do from here."

"Please, let me help."

If it were possible for him to get any more pissed off, he did. "HE WHAT," he yelled. Then, he pulled the phone from his ear and said, "I need a one way ticket to Peoria International!! I'm gonna kill him. I am gonna fuckin' kill him." Next, he put the phone back to his ear, "Lemme see what I can do here, Sis," he growled as he demanded numbers and wrote them down, and then hung up.

As he started digging on the internet to find the cheapest fare, HyunWoo said, "Hold it, Hot Shot. What happened?"

"That douchbag finally left. He took everything! Even the kids stuff. He left them with NOTHING! That is why Sis was calling. He cleaned out their account and took everything. Damn lucky he couldn't touch the shop accounts or he would have cleaned them out too. Literally everything. She needs a little cash to feed the kids til Friday."

"Thank God it is Wednesday," said CK. from the far side of the room. If anyone had bothered to look, the reflection on his glasses was an Amazon cart with 37 things in it. The only time ANYONE has that many things in an Amazon cart is when they are buying groceries. However, most of those were chips or snack cakes.

Honey, Min, and HyungWon all sat down to iron out how much and what they were gonna contribute.

Silently, I picked up my bank book and palmed the slip of paper with her info on it. Only HyunWoo saw me slip out the door. He stopped me as I waited for the elevator and handed me a few bills from his own wallet before turning back towards the room.

"What," was all I could get out before he interrupted, cutting me off mid-question.

"We look out for our own," He answered before he opened the door to the dorm.

After heading to the nearest Western Union, I called the number on the slip from Honey. When she picked up, I smiled.

"Hey, Bryn, it's Kihyun. I wired you some money. Should be about $100, if everything gets exchanged right."

"Kihyun, you guys didn't have to do that. My dad was already gonna feed the kids. I just needed to talk to someone. This has got me so shaken up, I want a drink really bad. Guess I wasn't too clear with Joey."

"Really? Then why was he," I stopped as a shadow fell over me. "Well, shit. Guess who is now standing right behind me."

"Tell him to calm down."

"Bryn says to calm down. She told me to sit on you if I have to."

"Kihyun! I did not."

"I paraphrased," I laughed. "Besides, Sweets, if looks could kill, I'd be dead right about now."

"Really," she chuckled.

"Oh yeah. He is probably gonna follow me all the way to the dorm. I guess I am not allowed out on my own," I laughed.

"Why," She asked.

"I tend to do dumb things, according to others. Though they may be a little impulsive, they always work out in the end. So don't look the horse in the mouth."

"I won't."

"Good girl," I laughed, "So why did you call him, anyway?"

"I needed someone I could yell at that would not take it personal."

"I am always here. Though, I may occasionally yell back."

She laughed. "Thank you."

"For?"

"Making me laugh. I needed that. "

"Damn. I was looking forward to the screaming match. C'mon, get it started, Angelface," I said as I stopped at the stoplight and waited for the crosswalk. "Do you want me to start," I asked, then pulled the phone away and yelled.

Bringing the phone back to my face, I asked as the crosswalk lit up and I crossed the street, "How was that," I grinned.

"A 10. A fuckin' 10. Have you thought of being a Rockstar," she laughed.

I could almost hear the smile on her face, which made me laugh. Even if my throat killed me in the morning it was worth it.

"Hey, hang on a second. I want to send you something," I said as I put my phone on speaker and started the camera.

"Oh dear God, what now," she asked.

I took a short video of me sending her a kiss and sent it off. "Nothing bad."

"Ok, if you say so. Just not cool with unsolicited dick pics from strange men."

"I would not send you unsolicited dick pics, nor am I a stranger. Now, if you asked for them...Like a good girl," I started and looked over at Honey, who was looking at me with the 'better never do that' face. "Uh-oh."

"What?"

"I'm getting side eye."

She laughed and said, "I know just the look. It screams, 'You'd better not be sending photos of ANY part of your anatomy to my sister'."

"Yes," I laughed. "So how are you feeling? Better?"

"Much. Thank you."

"No problem. I'm here all week. Try the veal," I laughed. "Still want a drink," I asked.

"No. The laughs did it for me. Thank you."

"You are very welcome, Darling. So did you get the video I sent?"

"I did. That was very sweet. Thanks."

"You are very welcome, Pretty Lady. Well, we are back at the dorms."

"I should probably go then," she sighed.

"Just remember I am also available for Mitzvahs," I chuckled, which made her laugh. "Seriously, Sweetie, anytime you need a sounding board or a laugh fest, a screaming match or some naughty-Ow, Mother fucker!-I got smacked on my arm for that last bit. I am always here,"

"Thanks again. Until next time."

I paused and came VERY close to telling her how I felt but said, instead, "Again, you are welcome."

"Bye, Kihyun."

"Bye, Bryn," I breathed, then hung up.

Honey looked at me as he crossed his arms over his chest, "It took everything you had to not tell her 'I love you' didn't it?"

All I could do was nod and hope that my dreams tonight would be better than they had been.

As we got into the elevator, He said, "It was good hearing that you made her laugh."

"I love the sound of her laughter. Once I got her started, I didn't want her to stop. I think that she is just as funny as she is sweet."

"You do know that she will do one of two things, right?"

"What two things?"

"Either immediately send the money right back, or hang on to it and physically give you back every bit. She hates asking for help...of any kind," he said as he opened the door to our dorm.

"Yeah? Wonder why."

He just laughed, "Her ex-fiancée, ex-husband, and her father."

"What happened," I asked as I made us a pot of coffee.

"They all held every penny over her head. Her dad decided he wanted her out the minute she turned 18 and to do it, he threw her out the boat, so to speak. Said if she floated, she never needed help anyway; and if she sank, well, it was her own fault."

"That's abuse. Financial abuse."

"Yep. He was the kind to tell her everything she had was his, that she owned nothing; not even the clothes on her back. He comes from the 'I Own You' school of parenting. Her ex-fiancée would demand she work, then make her late, so she would lose any job she got. Then, he'd take any money she got paid and use it for crap he wanted rather than the bills she had it ear-marked for."

"Oh, tell me he didn't."

"Oh he did. Spent it on girls at the local under 21."

"Shit. He screwed around on her, didn't he?"

"Yep. Which is why if you ever think about cheating, I will castrate you myself," he growled.

Somehow I knew he would do it, and I would let him. "Don't have to worry about that. Can you tell me about her ex-husband?"

"That asshole was a piece of work. Emotionally, Mentally, and Fiscally abusive. The entire time they were together, he would pinch a penny until it died if it was something she needed, but she was expected to turn over her things and cash to him. She worked second shift in a factory; out of the house from half 1 to almost 1 am. He was in semi driver school at the time, racked up a HUGE amount of debt; I'm talking almost 40K. Constantly accused her of cheating when he had a different lot lizard every night. It's a miracle he never gave her anything."

I was disgusted by this guys behavior. To have a woman like her waiting at home and trying his best to break her.

"And that isn't even the worst of his offenses. He screamed at her one night while he was over the road, on training. She was at work, and he called her on her lunch break. The entire time, he screamed at her for having a cold sore and yelled about her cheating loud enough for her co-workers to hear. Her boss to tell her to turn off her phone; that he was tired of hearing that jerk yell at her. The guy he was learning with, told him that 'If I were her, I would be calling the lawyer first thing in the morning, after that shit.' He 'apologized' pretty quickly after that."

"Icky. I hope she ended it there."

"No. That girl has a ton of stay and No show. He ended up deployed to Egypt and told his brother about the girls there. Never thought his brother would run and tell her. She still didn't leave. You left a blister on her cheek one night and he threw her out in the snow."

"Stay and no show? I'm not sure I understand."

"Horse terms," came a voice from the doorway. I had forgotten Hoseok was staying with us while his apartment was getting the pipes fixed. "When a filly is learning to ride, it's said she is full of Show and no Stay. Meaning she looks good, but is too skittish to stand still. Sis--Well Sis may not look like much, but she has tons of loyalty to those who show her the same. She has the patience to play a 30 year long game, and the courage to weather ANY storm. But she has a problem knowing when to leave, and so she gets hurt."

"Hold up! He threw her out in the snow?!"

As Hoseok filled his own mug, he answered, "Yeah, he threw her out of the apartment in the middle of a snowstorm. Lucky her parents were in town. So if you start this with her, and you ever want out; you are gonna have to straight up tell her to go. She won't understand otherwise. She doesn't play games and has a tough time with subtly. So always be direct and honest with her."

I nodded taking it in. There was something I thought I wanted, so I asked, "How is her aegyo"

"If you are looking for overt aegyo, don't. Hers is subtle but she has got it in spades, and she doesn't even know it. It's in the way she plays, either with her guy or her kids," he said as he leaned against the counter, "It's in the subtle blush when you say or do something for her without her asking. It's in a compliment and the smiling eyes that comes with it. She has never had some of the things other girls take for granted, like a stolen kiss or flowers on her birthday. Other things, like those romantic gestures, she has only had once or twice. If I remember right, the last guy to 'play' was an FWB years and years ago, and that guy only stole one kiss, once," Honey replied.

"Don't expect her to run with girls. Most girls find her too harsh, too rough. She doesn't appreciate girls and their whiney, gossipy ways. She never wears makeup, and I have never once seen her with her nails painted. She is a guys-girl, a tom-boy through and through; wasn't made delicate. She is stronger than most people will ever know. However, her heart is extremely delicate, it's been broken and bruised so bad, even I wonder how she is still alive. So, let me tell you, right now," Hoseok said as he sat down his mug and leaned over the counter in my direction, "She may not be blood, but she is my sister."

"Hmm," I nodded. "You really don't have to worry about that," I replied. "How are you related to her again," I asked.

"Distant cousin. Her auntie married my mothers little brother, for all of five minutes. I am only gonna tell you this once, if you hurt that filly in ANY way; you wont walk again."

"Got it," I replied, cringing.

"You know that she won't ask for what she wants or needs. You are gonna need to be damned good at reading between the lines, cause she is so afraid that if she tells you what she needs, what she wants, you will do the same thing every one else has done," Honey said after a minute.

"Run," I answered nodding.

"Yep. Most men can't handle her intensity so they either run or try to turn her down to levels that they can handle without realizing that her fire isn't meant to be dimmed, but fed. She is gonna need you to be just as emotional as her, to show her that it is ok to feel again. She is very touch oriented, very tactile. So a lot of her feelings are touch related."

"I understand, Joey."

"You had better. The only reason I didn't beat the shit out of the other assholes, is that I wasn't there. If I had been, I would have had no problems with a few months in the county lock-up. And if Clark had tried that shit while I was there..."

"Really?"

"Yeah. See, the shit of it is, she fades into the background. She doesn't want all those things that other girls want. She isn't the kind to run or chase. She doesn't play games. She is also emotional. Ease into it. Don't try to love bomb her, she went through that shit with Clark and won't put up with it from you," Hoseok said, then turned to Joey, "Speaking of, did you hear what Lone Elm called him?"

Joey shook his head.

Hoseok grinned. "Elm called him a fuckin fishstick."

Joey started laughing, "Elm called him 'Fishstick'."

I looked back and forth between the two men who were holding themselves up on the counter while they laughed. "I don't get it. What-What's a fishstick?"

A hand landed on my shoulder from behind. I turned to see Changkhyun standing there, an amused look on his face.

"Fishsticks are only available in the States. They are mashed-up fish paste, about an inch wide by around six inches long, which is then breaded. Then, they are to be baked in an oven. Either they turn out soggy or they are hard as a rock; inedible either way. Which is good, because they are fuckin' gross. Nasty little things."

"Are they like the fish at Mickey's?"

"No," CK stated. "The fish there is actually decent. Fishsticks are generally served in school hot lunches on Fridays due either to religious reasons, or because they are cheap and can be purchased by the gross. At any rate, they are still inedible."

"Icky. How in the hell can people do that to their kids?"

"Not a clue. That was why I always took my lunch on Friday. Every Friday, the hot lunch was always the same thing; rock hard fishsticks, soggy tater tots, dehydrated-rehydrated mixed vegetables, and golden glow salad with mayonnaise on the top. It was the grossest meal I have ever seen in my entire life."

I shuddered to think of those poor kids. Forced to eat that nasty stuff.

After reading that, I was glad her kids never had to eat that. She fixed boxes for them. School lunches in the States sounded gross.

'Some things were ok.'

'I thought you took your lunch, Mami?'

'I did. My dad said cold lunch was cheaper. But, there was one day, once or twice a month, that I would get school lunch. They called it pork pattie day, but it was a breaded pork tenderloin on a bun. It was pretty decent. It was pretty gross the rest of the time, but that day wasn't too bad.'

'Have I watched you fix those before?'

'Not sure.'

'Are those the sandwiches where you beat the pork chops to nothing and then bread and fry them?'

'Yes.'

'Those do look pretty tasty,' I said as I dug around for what to fix the next day, so I could write it on the board. 'Hmm. Help, please. Can't figure out supper.'

'Whatcha got?'

'Hmmm. Some sausages, some tiny shrimp, and a package of chicken,' I said as I dug around in the freezer.

"You can use the shrimp and chicken in Gumbo.'

'It has been quite a while since I've had Gumbo. I've never made it before though.'

'Look it up. There are a million Gumbo recipes out there.'

'I think I will do that. Thanks, Baby. Have I told you, today, how awesome you are??'

'Yes, but I can always stand to hear it again,' she laughed.

A/N)--The above abuses......actually happened. First hand experience.

#original writing #my writing #original story #twin flames #twin souls #soulmates #soul mates #soulmate #soul mate #past life #astral travel #spirit projection #fanfic #fan fiction #monsta x fic #kihyun fic

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