#i think its like mold/slimy

[small-spark-of-light]

MORE WHITEBOARD if you cant tell i really like infectat

also

[wulvercazz]

Creepy Sights💀

Finally, an actual continuation to the Haunted Forest :>cc (Previous)

cw- light horror, gore and guts, monsters, terato (+ necrophilia, insects), corpses in general

Thirteen’s not exactly sure what they expected from a heavily haunted forest; the mold was quite a surprise… to say the least. Even as Chromo fades into the background, all worried thick brows and unsure legs tip-tapping about on the dying grass before bursting him away from the edge of the forest, their heart thumps with excitement and perhaps a drop of healthy fear. They clutch the wisp lantern tight to avoid anymore incidences, mold or otherwise. If the rest of the creatures living in this barren land are anything like the mold sprites, then this light source is their best friend. Dry, gray-looking, plants crunch under their feet the deeper they go into the forest; roots snapping off dead trees and mold shimmying away from the light as they make way into what starts to look like a dusty, forgotten town. The memory of pretty homes and welcoming venues covered in ash and blurred by fog that grows thicker the farther they get into town. Shadows much larger than a mold sprite running past them far into their peripheral vision, breaking the pattern of crooked trunks and foggy empty space with what appeared like gangly limbs and putrid smells. Thirteen sees many horrors and curiosities before they ever meet someone they can actually have a conversation with. Moving corpses fucking other, less alive, corpses. Plenty of giant insects that might have looked their way in hunger if they weren’t feasting already on a horrid gut soup of their own making; laying eggs on the nastiest parts not even they cared for eating. Plenty of meat-eating creatures here must be scavengers, now that they think about it; Thirteen doesn’t care to think about where most of the corpses came from, but they’re plenty. Plenty enough to be a reliable food source. Reliable enough that they’re spooked by a small pack of large, funny-looking creatures. Long, running, legs, paws like a canine and long swooshy tails that floofed up the ashes up into the foggy air; all topped up by a skinless skull for a head. Thirteen stared in wonder, light kept low toward the ground but not enough to leave them blind; in case the creatures got too protective of their stinky rotten meal. They stared back in curiosity, their empty eye-sockets pointing their way like they could actually see them; only to clean their teeth with slimy blue tongues and continue crunching on the goopy-covered bones. Thirteen’s legs never stopped itching even after such a mild interaction; and with good reason. A five meter high thing creeping up behind them over the dry branches with what looked like a ribcage in it’s disgusting hand, its dislocated jaw hanging even lower to create a horrifying screech that has their legs speeding away on their own accord. Rushing through the trees with their heart beating up inside their ears, and only stopping when the creature’s call fades into the distance. Their body drops against a crooked tree, shaking all over as they pant with relief; it’s a surprisingly sturdy one too. Most of these dead trunks look hollow, like they could be blown away by the weakest wind. Curiosity has Thirteen’s attention turned to the new cool thing, their body jumping back when they meet an animal skull face to face; seemingly embedded into the tree’s hefty trunk. A mild, bluish glow right in it’s branchy, creepy, center, making them step right back in to see the thing closer. “They’re beautiful even when so miserably dead, aren’t they?” A gentle voice startles them right back off the odd tree; “Aching Heart, is what my people call them,... called them.” The stranger explains; and Thirteen is captivated by the beginning of this story, and the way this guy looks so jarringly out of place.

I love drawing creepy monsters ;w;<33

[charleslee-valentine]

♪ Now when I'm very good, and do as I am told I'm Mama's little angel and Daddy says I'm good as gold

And when I'm naughty and answer back and sass I'm Mama's little devil, and Daddy says I've got the brass. ♪

- What Ever Happened to Baby Jane? (1962)

~~~~

Fic word count: ~1,600

Warnings: Detailed depictions of child abuse (mental, medical, and physical,) canonical mistreatment of the Sinclair twins, the highchair/restraints being used on Bo, panic attack, near asphyxia, fear of death, smoking, psychological torment, weaponized love, Trudy and Victor Sinclair being horrible parents, childhood mental illness, all hurt no comfort.

~~~~

“Don’t you love your brother, Beauregard?!”

Does he?

Vincent is sitting in his big boy chair in the corner. His hair is parted neatly down the middle, smoothed by Mama’s doting hands and a lipsticked kiss. There’s no mask on his face today. His last one melted.

The brat left in the window where the sun could get it too long.

Not that it’s his fault actually. If the Doc didn’t insist on interrupting breakfast to prod at some scar tissue in Vinny’s nose that was making a whistle sound when he breathed, it wouldn’t have happened. Pulled him away and left his mask where it lie, forgotten for hours while he inspected and snipped the problem away.

And then there was a new issue.

Mama’s mold was still shattered. One problem the Doc’s cold, rough hands couldn’t piece back together into perfection. There's a hero cast somewhere that could make a new mold, but Mama wants a newer one. To replace Vinny’s year four mask.

Every second his scars stay exposed makes him cry. He doesn’t like being stared at and dissected like a bug with its wings pinned.

Bo isn’t in his big boy chair. He’s strapped into the too small highchair. The tray squeezes his stomach and the metal hurts his knees. Not as much as the straps though.

Not as much as his feelings when he’s asked about if he loves his brother.

Of course he does. Vincent is the only one in the house that Bo still trusts. And that means he loves him. Because it isn’t his fault the mask melted. It’s Doc’s. And it’s not his fault about the mold breaking, it’s Mama’s.

And it’s not Vincent’s fault that his face got messed up. That one is Bo’s.

Being a good boy and sitting still and letting Mama get her copy of his face should be just the easiest thing. He’s doing this for his brother. His only friend in the world.

It’s never easy.

Mama makes the mixture in a big bowl, hot water and some powder that turns orange. It’s slimy and smells an awful lot like marshland before a rainstorm. The schlop always feels clammy on his skin. Unpleasantly cold and wet no matter how dry it gets.

“Don’t you move now, Bo. Your papa’ll woop you.”

Lies aren’t allowed in this house, unless it’s ‘I love you.’ So Bo knows she means that threat. He’s got to behave or face worse than this.

Doesn’t mean he just can.

The alginate makes Bo flinch, rocking back to scoot his chair away from the sickening feeling. Mama don’t let up. She scoops up handfuls of it and spreads it on his face like it’s one of her fancy creams. At first she always leaves his eyes out, and his lips, and every time he thinks maybe he got lucky and she ain’t gonna drown him in it.

He’s always wrong to trust Mama.

All it takes is another handful, pressed against his mouth while he tries to scream his protests, but she presses her palm down hard so he can’t open it. Everything’s muffled, bottled up so no one can know.

The mixture sneaks tiny drops past his lips and makes him gag, once, twice- but Mama keeps pressing her clawed hand down until it starts to dry just enough that it holds itself. Then over his eyes it goes.

Bo tries to hold them open, but Mama always knows when he’s gonna do stuff like that. She purses her lips and blows a quick puff of cigarette air, makes him flinch again so his eyes close and she can take advantage of it.

Once it’s dark is when Bo panics for real. The healing wounds on his wrists tear right open again as he thrashes harder. The blood drips slow as honey, pooling around the leather straps holding him down.

It’s moments like this, that Bo questions his trust of Vincent.

Vincent who sits patiently in the corner for Mama to finish her torture so he can get back to being the favorite. Without his mask, he’s not wanted. An ugly, warped thing that needs covering up. Like a weed in the garden. Or a corpse in the Doc’s operating room.

Bo wishes his brother would help him. He wishes his mama would listen and take this stuff off his face. He prays that the Doc won’t come home yet and get mad and make things hurt worse. Or maybe that he won’t come home at all.

Mostly though, his brain is like static. Painful, heated, buzzing tv static burning a hole right through the back of his head. He’s in the middle of it, the dark, and sinking. There’s two little holes for him to breathe through, but he can’t get enough air.

Bo digs his nails into his own palms and draws even more blood, and underneath the sticky shell, he screams. And screams. And screams.

Nobody ever listens.

Mama tugs his messy hair in place of being able to slap his face.

“What did I tell you! Quiet while I finish!”

But there’s not enough air and he needs her to listen. Bo’s going to suffocate and all his mama cares about is making Vincent pretty.

Never learning, never getting used to the constraint, Bo tries to tear his arms upwards from the tape, to dig those blunted nails into Mama’s flesh instead of his own.

He can’t get them to budge.

She just keeps going, either not knowing about the mental threat to her safety or not caring.

The alginate starts to get tacky, so Mama wets strips of plaster gauze, the kind from Doc’s office like he used when he broke Bo’s arm putting him in his restraints a long time ago. Water splashing in a new bowl, rung out of each piece before its placed over top, just makes Bo feel even more like he’s dying. Drops landing somewhere in the abyss, his head underneath the water as he drowns.

Bo wants to die. Or he thinks he is dying anyhow. With the very last strip, Mama covers over his nose too.

Again Bo tries to scream, but barely a groan gets past his sealed lips. The full minute it takes to all harden up is far too long without breathing. What was a completely black void behind his eyes gets sparks of flashing red and white. He’s out of air.

A last effort to get his mama to listen, Bo rocks and slams his back against his highchair, desperately trying to tip it. The impact of the ground would force air back into his lungs.

He feels it start to give way, gravity suddenly weighing more heavily on him, but Mama hisses and rocks him right back upright. Her fault for putting a big kid in a little baby's chair.

Mama peels it all away then. From the outside it’s so easy, to cup the sides of his fake plaster face and ease the two layers back, only a couple scraps left sticking to his skin. She’ll help him clean up later if he’s well behaved at supper maybe.

First thing Bo does now is take a big breath in, but it’s too much at once after so long without air, he coughs, throat raw and dry, making Mama jerk back in disgust from him.

“Did you have to be so dramatic?”

Bo knows he’s crying when the image of his mama turns blurry. His face is already numb and cold and wet, but chest starts heaving with sobs, rising and falling all out of rhythm. Instead of his growling and screaming, Bo wheezes and cries and whimpers, unable to catch his breath, because of the tears this time.

The thing about alginate- it’s very sensitive.

Sure it doesn’t pull too bad once it firms up like jell-o, coming off easy from Bo’s eyelashes and eyebrows without disturbing single hair, but that’s just the thing. The rubbery, weak material ain’t meant to last long. It’ll dry out and shrink in a couple hours anyhow, the whole thing got no real structure.

Mama laid the fresh cast in a box of sawdust to pour plaster in it without spills or damage, and noticed, in the mess of Bo thrashing as it came off, a rip had formed. Right across the middle of his face from the side of his mouth to the opposite side of his nose.

Once upon a time, she’d tried to just patch it when it tore, only for the plaster face to come out warped, cheeks flattened and bumpy, nose crooked. One eye missing. She’d given it to the Doc to dispose of. Familiar story.

Mama clicks her tongue against her teeth, a noise of distaste Bo knows just as well. It sends a cold feeling down his spine, worse than the goop on his face.

“You know I’m gonna have to do that all over again now.”

His wrists won’t stop bleeding. They itch and burn as much as his tearful eyes.

Bo steals a glare over at Vincent in his precious, safe corner. His head down, he’s doodling something. Maybe drawing pretty pictures of Beauregard’s misery. All for himself. Selfish, selfish Vincent, doesn’t help and keeps the pain around as art.

Still, that’s no worse than stealing his brother’s face.

The scar on the back of Bo’s head aches.

“I love you.”

It’s for Vinny. To answer the question, he does love his brother.

Mama answers back, like she belonged between their bond,

“You love me. Well thank God you do.”

Her cigarette ash on his skin hurts worse than the burning in his lungs. The crumbling cherry touches his cheek and leaves a little singe by the corner of his mouth. His own tears soothe it.

Though smoke doesn’t make calming down any easier.

“You best love me, Beauregard. Show me. Be a good boy and sit still.”

[secondbeatsongs]

new year, new food crime

I hate it when recipe bloggers tell you the entire rundown of their day before giving the recipe, so just to start off, I'm going to put this here:

3 cups of liquid (water + shrimp water) 3 packets unflavored gelatin 1 tbsp vegetable base (or a bouillon of some kind; that'd probably be fine) 1 large handful of shrimps (approx 20) 3 eggs, hard-boiled and sliced 1 small bag mixed frozen vegetables, thawed a gelatin mold or bowl with a capacity of 4 cups

now, looking at this ingredients list you might be asking, "hey SBS, what the fuck did you cook this time?" and to that I say: buckle up.

so I've been watching Arne & Carlos' videos for a bit, firstly because I was curious if they were gay (they seem to be), and secondly because I like their knitting patterns

but their channel isn't just knitting! they also cook together, and it's fun and chaotic, and one of the things they cooked…intrigued me.

I don't know how this dish is spelled. cabaret? kabaret? there are only a few recipes for it online, and most of those are not in english. but essentially, it is a Norwegian aspic with shrimp, vegetables, and hard-boiled egg in it.

what is aspic, you might ask? well, it's…I mean…it's meat jello. that's what it is. you cook meat for a while (some recipes say to use pig's feet, snout, etc), and it makes a gelatinous broth, which solidifies when it cools.

delightful!

however, I am not willing to make aspic from scratch for this, so I substituted it with unflavored gelatin packets. hooray!

(apparently in Norway, you can buy packets of instant aspic! but since you can't do that here, I looked up what ingredients are in instant aspic, and after putting them through google translate, decided "huh, seems like gelatin powder with some kind of bouillon", so that's how I ended up here)

this recipe isn't so much cooking as it is…construction. like sure, you heat up the gelatin, but after that it's pretty much just putting stuff together.

and apparently you can make this with pre-cooked or canned shrimp, but I only had the raw frozen kind, so I put them in a saucepan with just enough water to cover them, heated them until they were fully cooked, and then saved the water from the pan to mix in with the gelatin.

so, shrimpy water + enough water to make 3 cups of liquid, and then I mixed in vegetable base until it tasted…fine. (it didn't taste good, it just tasted…okay.)

then I heated up the liquid in the microwave (in a big 4-cup measuring cup), mixed in the three gelatin packets, and there you go! that's all of the cooking done.

now, for the assembly.

I put some of the shrimp all the way at the bottom of the jello mold, trying to arrange it so that it would look nice. I sliced the hard-boiled eggs, and put the prettiest slices of egg around the edges, sprinkling in some vegetables and pouring gelatin as I went.

…and then I gave up on being artistic, and just kinda lumped everything else in, and covered it with the gelatin mixture.

(unfortunately I didn't think to take pictures of the assembly portion of this, because I was multitasking at the time and got distracted, but you'll just have to trust me that it was a tolerable experience, and didn't look very interesting)

after that I chucked it into the fridge (gently), and left it alone while I streamed with makerrcat for a bit, stayed up way too late, and then passed out in a dramatic fashion.

13-ish hours later, I rescued it from its frigid prison.

hmmm

stare into the murky depths with me for a moment. look at this…nightmarish placid soup. this motionless broth.

one of my egg slices definitely didn't get covered all the way. 

ah, well.

to unmold this monstrosity, I put it in a bowl of hot water for a minute or so, until it seemed like it could pull away from the edges. it really didn't take much, so if you (god forbid) try this yourself, keep an eye on it. gelatin melts fast.

then I put a plate over the jello mold, and flipped it over.

after a few tense seconds, it released from the mold with a slimy kthnk sound.

carefully. nervously. I lifted the mold.

and then I let out an involuntary "oh!" because…

…it's kind of…eerily beautiful?

like in a horrifying sort of eldritch way, it looks…lovely

vegetables and shrimp and eggs, suspended not just in space but in time, preserved and surrounded by a gelatinous cocoon…

I just like staring at it, okay! I just think it looks cool! so here's another picture of it from the side:

the egg slices…the little bits of yolk…enchanting

it definitely smells like food. but it's unclear what kind. vaguely shrimp-vegetable-egg, but muddled

let's cut into it

oh. oh god. it made kind of a…squelch? when I cut it?

hold on, you have to experience this for yourselves

god. deeply unsettling.

now, seeing what the inside is like is kind of interesting! there are places where the gelatin has sort of splintered apart from being cut, and there are gaps where pieces of vegetable have fallen out.

but...how does it taste?

...

fuck.

I really like it

this bizarre combination of textures is weirdly satisfying! the squish of the egg and the gelatin, the slight crunch of the vegetables and shrimp, it's just…good?

the gelatin itself just tastes vaguely of broth, but I don't mind it! I don't know if I would eat it by itself, but with the shrimp, egg, and veggies, it's perfectly okay!

the shrimp, egg, and vegetables of course just taste (respectively) like shrimp, egg, and vegetables, but that's...fine? I like all of these things, so this is pretty enjoyable!

so, some of the recipes I managed to find mention serving it with sort of a mayo-mustard mix, so obviously I have to try that

this...helps? like, it tastes really pleasant?

not that it was bad before, but it remains an enjoyable experience!

and a video that I saw (but could not understand) seemed to show it served on a piece of bread, again with the mayo-mustard.

this is also fine! I enjoy this too! I don't feel like it needs the bread, but it's all right!

this is bizarre.

I think most people would probably hate this. it's got the look of a 1960s party food (which is probably what it is), and "meat jello" isn't a texture that modern society regularly enjoys, but…I love it.

I actually love this.

I kind of understand now why people call dishes like this a "jello salad", because…I mean, I'm eating it, and my brain is saying, "yup. this is a salad" and I have no fucking idea why, but this right here? salad. for sure.

cold, wet salad.

damp, even.

so like...is this objectively good food? probably not.

but is it fun to eat? I think so. 

it's refreshing, somehow. it's light, but also more filling than I expected it to be. I have no idea how much would be considered a reasonable serving, but I intend to figure it out as I go along.

so I'm not saying "go make this!" because although this combination of textures plays well with my brain in particular, I don't think that would be the case for everybody.

but I will be eating the rest of this.

weirdly? weirdly, it's just good.

-

an edit, a few days later:

I have done it. I have consumed the entire thing. and I enjoyed every bite of it.

in fact, I plan on making it again! probably more than once!

food crime? no. food…

(pauses to look up what the opposite of "crime" is)

…food blessing. food virtue. food achievement! food…benevolence.

this is what cabaret is.

at least, that's what it is to me.

(create and consume at your own risk.)

[xxmia0wm4yh3mxx]

GLOOZE

(Chapter: One)

_______________________

A poorly written fic with bad grammer about my fluffy shipkid comfort au i made cuz because of one oc

Also Rogerg and My Able are here

And Queenie is alive Fuck it

Ships: Showtime, BunnyDoll, abstragedy, Checkmates

TW: Child trauma , bullying

___________________________________________

Pomni was roaming the corridors of the Tent, she stopped and saw The cast members gathered around in a circle, looking at something on the floor

Zooble: Ew what is that thing?

Gangle: It kinda looks like a giant booger...

Jax: Why are we staring at this thing? This is like, the least weird thing here

Kinger: Look! Look! Its moving! its Alive!

Pomni tilted her head and walked over

Pomni: What are you all doing?

Queenie turned her head to Pomni

Queenie: Pomni, Dearie! You're close to Caine, do you know what this is?

She walked over and joined the circle, on the floor was a big green splat on the floor, It like Jello in process of rotting only it was pulsating gently like a slime mold

Pomni: wah- what is this?

Kinger: we don't really know, do think its edible?

Jax: I dunno, you should Try it

Ragatha: No, No you shouldn't! You dont know what it is

Pomni: Its probably nothing, maybe I should go ask Caine-

Gangle: Look! Its moving again!

The Splat Was pulling itself together and forming a small piller, The top of it Swelled bigger and bigger like bubble, until it stood atop of a thin neck connecting it to the body, the body slouched due to the weight of the bulbous head

Everyone was staring at it with awe as the slime took form of a vaguely humanoid shape, A single, Big, Bright Orange Eye opened

???: Wah- huh?- What the- where- where am I?

The voice of a young boy came out of the slimes mouth, his one eye shooting across the room and then staring quietly the cast members, The slime meekishly backed up form the cast members

???: w-whats going on?!

His voice was shivering with anxiety and confusion

Pomni: Oh my God thats kid!

She rushed over to the Boy, his breath audibly becoming heavy

Pomni: Are you okay?! Look, I-I know this is Scary but-

She was Cut off when The Child started Screaming like a Banshee

???: WHAT THE (BLOINK!) ARE YOU PEOPLE?! WHAT AM I?! GET ME OUT OF HERE!!

The Child slinked away and splated on the floor, he quickly pulled Himself Up and slithered away, Yelling like he was being murdered

The other Circus members trying to calm him down and catch him, He crashed into a trash bin and a weird looking Muppet thing with fly wings and antenna spilled out and crashed on the floor

Rogerg: GAH- WHAT THE (HONK)?!

The muppet and the slime just stared at eachother for bit before the fly puppet thing started shouting at the top of his lungs

Rogerg: CAAAAAIINE!! THEIRS A GIANT BOOGER IS TORMENTING MY LIFE GET IT OOOUUUTTT!!!! GET IT OOUUUUUUTTTT!!!

The Slime leaped over the trash can, his body compacted into a sphere and started Bouncing all over the Circus, the Child screaming while he controllably spurng around the tent

Caine: Did Someone Called for me?!

Caine looked at the slimeball darting across the room and he grabbed him by the back of the neck, his gooey body went limp like a kitten, He sat him down on the floor, patting his head

Caine: Their you go! All better!

The boy was just silent, breathing quietly the confusion and fear still plastered on his face

Caine: You alright son? You look you've seen a ghost!

The Boy: .....Am.... Am I Dead? Because this doesn't look like heaven or Hell...

Caine chuckled and put his hand on his shoulder

Caine: No my Slimy friend! You certainly not Dead but digitally reborn! You my boy have entered A Digital world of Endless Fun and Adventure!!

The Boy perked up alittle

The boy: ....Adventure? Like... Dragons and Zombies?

Caine: Thats certainly a possibility!!

The Boy: That Sounds Sick!!

The Child's body bounced up and down, the confusion on his face turned into wonder and excitement

Caine was taken aback alittle about how Excited he was, usually new humans panicked and screamed at him when He explained the Digital world, but he was excited and even happy about His predicament

Caine: it certainly is "sick" my Boy! Let me show you around town!

He picks him up by his back againn and teleported him outside and told him all about the Grounds

The Boy: WOW! A free Carnival! They never let me in Carnivals! Awesome!

Caine: Now Thats the spirit son!! So glad you like it!

Caine teleported them back to the tent, and sat the Boy down next to the rest of the cast

They Boy: This place is epic!! I never wanna Leave!!

Caine: Love the enthusiasm Son! Im sure you'll have a great time!

The Boy: Yeah! I gotta go tell everyone about this place! There all gonna be so Jealous!!

The Boy sprinted to the door before stoping in his tracks coming to a terrifying realization

Where did he live? Where was everyone else? What was His name again? He didn't even remember what His face even looked like

He shuttered, Everything he knew was erased, his body became dead still, terror frozen on her face

He slowly turned his face back to the Ringmaster

The Boy: How..... How... Do I... Leave?

Everyone was uncomfortably silent and looking around, Jax tried to say something but Ragatha Shut him up

Pomni: Um.... Now don't freak out... but We... There isn't.... We don't Actually know....

The Boy: What Do you mean Dude?! I'm stuck here forever?!

Jax: Well yeah pretty much

Ragatha: Jax!

Jax: What? He was going to find out eventually!

The Boy was just Quiet, His pupil retracted and His mouth went agap, He started hyperventilating

The Boy: I CAN’T LEAVE?! I CAN’T GO BACK HOME?!

His Gelatinous body starting shivering which looked a bit like jiggling, his eye started watering, His breath starting coming out in shaky spruts

Pomni: Hey! Hey! It'll be okay! ...Just ...Try to... um...

Ragatha: Think Positive! Its really not so bad here!...

The Child's crying became more profuse The cast tried to comfort him, embedding the tragic reality into His Head

Caine Quietly: Not again...

Caine looked the Child With sympathy, This ALWAYS happens whenever a new human eneters and never knew what to do to help them, Only it was worse this time because It was a Child, an innocent Child who was probably missing his Parents, his friends...

Wait... Friends... Pals... Caine got an idea

Caine: WELP! Son, you certainly got yourself into a pretty psychology damaging predicament, Which means theres only One thing to do!!

The Child looked up at him, Tears still in his eyes and Cast trying to comfort him

The Boy: .....What?

Caine: Social Therapy!!

The Boy: *sniff* what?...

Caine Took his baton and summoned a closed stage curtain

Caine: I give you.... Your Psychological Aid Liaisons!!

The Curtain opened and reveled 6 younger looking cast members

Caine: Your P.A.LS!!

The Boy looked at Caine confused and then the Pals, One who was a Black Chess piece like one of the Cast members, randomly fell on his face, The Boy looks back at Caine perplexed

Caine: Thats Right! These Googly Little Guardians are here to Bring you Endless Comfort and tranquility in Your lowest points in Life! Not To mention Tons and Tons Of Fun!

The Boy: ...What?

Before The Boy could question futher a Pal ran up to him, They were Brightly colorful like the circus they were in and made of Random shapes and parts, they could hardly run due to their fragile, lopsided body, They Shook his slimey with their ribbony one

Niku: Afternoon! My name is Niku, What a wonderful day it is such a swell person such as you!

The Boy: um... Okay-

A Rabbit Ragdoll, covered in Patches, bumped into Niku, toppling them over and smashing into pieces

Patchricia: Nice to meet'cha New friend! Cupcake?

She offered him a cupcake shaped like a bunny

The Boy: Um... I-Im good

Patchricia: suit yaself!

She ate the cupcake herself, two Chess pieces wearing Pink and Blue robes walked up Him and curtsyed

Princessa: A Pleased im sure, My Name is Princessa and this my Brother Princely

Princely: Hello! I like how green you are! Im certain we will be good friends!

Princely Extended his floating hand to him, The Boy slinked away in response, Princessa it and moved Her brother out of His way

Next, A Pal with Soma cube for a Head and one green eye went up to him, their calm and professional demeanor a contrast to the cutesy sailor suit they were wearing

Qwerty: Greetings, My name is Qwerty, I am here to assist with any inquiries or tasks you may have, Please let me know how I can be of service

Their monotonous and flat voice was unsettling to him, almost creepy sounding

The Boy: Uh-huh sure...

Qwerty: Alright then

They walked away and joined the Pals Who were helping Niku put them selves back together and adding new parts to them

Patchricia: sorry bout that, I got too excited

Nikus voiced changed to one androgynous to more high pitched and feminine

Niku: *Sniffle* oh no no no its all my fwault!!

Qwerty: unreasonable reason, Patchricia was the one who pushed you

The boy just stared at the absolute absurdity of the Artificial "Intelligences" that were supposed to help him

Ragtha: Isn't this great! Look at the new friends you have!

The Boy just stared with a dumbfounded face

Caine: One... Two... Three... wait, Wheres-

M' ere!

A little tooth-headed Boy wearing orange suspenders and a striped shirt ran up to the Ringmaster with Chocolate sauce all over his face

Caine: Ah! Enock! There you are Son!

Enock: I made a Chocolate foutain In the Bafroom!

Caine: Thats great champ! Say, why don't you go say to our new friend!

Enock: New Friend?! Well Hotdog! I love New friends!

Enock looked over to The slime Boy, He was bouncing up and down with Excitement, the Boy looked at him like he had two heads instead of a tooth one

Enock ran over as fast he could, and hugged and shaked him as hard as could, Squishing His Gooey body against him

Enock: HI! My names Enock!! I like to Sing and Dance and wear suspenders with my pants... Hey that Ryhmed!! Do you like it here?! I love it here! We can love it here together! Golly Gosh! You sure are Green! Like broccoli! I dont like broccoli, But I like YOU! Also your eye is my favorite color! And!... and...

Enock noticed The Boy was absolutely terrified by his over excitement so he went quiet as everyone else

Qwerty: ...I believe you have frightened him Enock

Enock: ....im sorry...

He looked down on the floor ashamed and sad he screwed up at an introduction so badly

Pomni and Caine looked at their child sympathetically, They hated seeing him so upset

Pomni: Hey um.. Enock.. why don't you go show your New friend Around the Tent?

Caine: Great Idea Love! Enock! Go show our little green friend The Magic of The Circus!

Enock: Really!? Hotdog!!

He jumped in the air with excitement

Patchricia: aw c'mon! Why does HE getta do it!?

Ragatha: PATCHRICIA!

Patchricia: I'm Sorry!

Later Enock was walking with The Boy through the Halls of the circus and they came to a colorful door with the words 'The Learning Room' in puffy, bold letters on it,

He opened the door to show a cartoony classroom with a alphabet puzzle carpet, circle tables spread across the area, arts and crafts covered the walls and storty books on the shelves and Big chalkboard with random doodles and phrases on it

Enock: Dishisda School room! We learn lossa things here! Like scince, Engrish, maff, arts, and Gramma! imma... not very good at dat last one... or tha others... ebendo.. My uncle is the teacher... and my dad is literally god... But das Okay! Because- Hey where'd ja go?

The Boy wasn't listening to Him, He was Staring into the affirmation mirror at his own reflection, a disconcert and absolute disturbed expression looking staring back at him

The Boy: This.... This... Isn't my face... I don't look like this...

Enock tilted his head

Enock: wattdiya mean? Weren't you Born slimy?

The Boy: ..... I don't know... I... I try to remember my face... my name...

His voice became shaky

The Boy: But... But its like it never existed in the first place...

Enock: Nothing?! Na' even your friends?... or your family? An all the People who love you?....

The Boy's voice hitches and Started tearing up...

The Boy: No... I- I don't...

Enock's demeanor quickly went from happy to one of sorrow

Enock: I.... I... *gasp* I know! You wanna A hug? Dey always make everything better!

He went up to him, arms outstretched to hug the distressed Boy, But The boy slid away from Enock's kind gesture

The Boy: N-no!

He had a bothersome manner like Enock was doing something absurd or wrong, Enock put his arms down embarrassed and twiddling his nonexistent fingers

Enock: well... Do you... Do you wanna go play with other pals with me?

The Boy: .....Sure

Later, Enock took The Boy to the Pal's Clubhouse, Inside they were all sitting in a circle sharing Cookies and Chips and talking with eachother

Patchricia: So I Ended up accidentally spilling the batter all over my dress and I, like, literally Jumped six feet in the air! Now, I know it was just batter, but it was like, in that weird goop phase that I hate, Like, Slimy things are just gross and I hate them

The Boy gave Patchricia a dirty look

Patchricia: Oh! um... No offense to you of course! Im sure you're very nice and clean!

Princessa: Tch! I really don't get your obsession with everything having to be sparkly clean all the time, gosh you're so dramatic!

Patchricia: Oh really? If you're so chill bout Dirty things, why don't I go dump Trash all over your perfect, clean, sparkly room?

Princessa: oh Nonono! Please dont do that!

Niku: I Find trash quite exhilarating experience! I get to discover all sorts of new bits and pieces and rebirth them into parts! And I also I can be in the presence of My Uncle!

Princly: Oh yeah Uncle Rogerg Is awesome! Hes so sweet and nice!

Patchricia: Oh yeah! Like, I wouldn't touch him without a towl but hes awesome!

Everybody started talking about how they love Uncle Rogerg, confuseing the Boy

The Boy: wait... you're not talking about the weird Muppet thing that lives in the trash are you?

Niku: Tehe! No silly im talking about my Uncle Rogerg! He's a felt marionette that lives in the garbage

The Boy was looking at them all weird when he noticed the absence of someone

The Boy: hey, wheres the Blockhead?

Princessa: Qwerty has a Special Curriculum, apparently, their learning how to make new worlds and people!

Princely: oh Yeah! They're like the smartest person ever!

Patchricia: They can pretty much do anything

Princessa: A true Renaissanceman in the humble package of an Everyman

Enock: They are also my cousin! Didja know that?!

He shook the Boy a little

Niku: That is true Enock, but you certainly act opposite!

Patchricia: I know right? Its like your not even related at all

Enock slowly quieted down, The boy tilted his head to look at him, he looked like something distressing him was on his mind

The Boy: So... what do you guys do all day exactly?

Niku: were all here to make people happy and help them when feeling distressed

Princely: that or were at school

Patchricia: or playing minigames

The Boy: okay, cool... so what do the Adults do? Do they have Jobs? Or do they wander around aimlessly too?

Enock: OH! OH! My Dad makes them all cool adventures that they can go everyday! Hes really REALLY cool and make Cool worlds and People and Makes everybody happy! And someday Imma learn ta make em Too someday! And- And- And- When I do, imma make all sorts of cool things and make everybody happy!! And- And- And- An- An- An- ima Make all sorta kewl things like A diner Run by Talking dinosaurs and make Magic hotdogs!! And then imma make a magic Moose that tells your the darkest desires and Birds that throw up more birds and giant skeleton hands that pick up you and takes you to nirvana! or giraffes that are actually snakes!-

Enock started endlessly rambling about random weird things, he was talking so fast it started sounding like absoulte gibberish and started shaking his hands and stomping his feet

When he calmed down, He noticed everyone was looking at him like he was deranged, especially The Boy

The Boy: ....dude...What is wrong with you?

Enock meekly hid his face in his knees

Niku: So... Adventures! They're funnest!

Princessa: You know yesterday, Father told about me that they explored a Cave full of gemstones, He told me it was Magical! I wish I was there with him

The Boy: what? Can't you?

Patchricia: No, Mr. Caine said their to dangerous for us, we do get to do other things instead though

The Boy: well... im not one of you guys, so can I go?

Princely: Well im sure you figure out when Mr. Caine announces the next one tomorrow

Enock: OH! OH! You're gonna love my Dad! He's like the coolest ever!! You're gonna love him! He tells Me all sorts of smart things!

Enock started grabbed The Boy and playfully shaking him faster and faster

Enock: Like- Like- Why We should never pay taxes! Or How bathing in toothpaste is actually good for you, and it also feels nice because its minty! I like the Mango flavored one because I like mangos! Did you know Mangos and cashews are cousins? Thats because cashews come from a fru-

Enock accidentally pushed the boy onto the floor, splattering him all over the other Pals

The Boy: OW!- *Splat!*

Patchricia: EW! EW! EW! EWWWW!! ENOCK YOU CLUTZ!!

Princely: Enock, Why'd you do that?!

Enock looked absolutely humiliated, and grabbed his long eyestalks on the sides of head and covered his face and left the club house, leaving The boy a splat on the floor

At night, The boy found a little playmat to use as a blanket, He was trying to get comfy but everytime he tried to relax he oozed out of the blanket not to mention a jelly body wasn't exactly comfortable for him, He hated this body that wasn't his, he hated this place that wasn't his home, he hated all the weird and annoying people in this Dumb, stupid Circus, He just wanted to go home but he couldn't even fathom what 'home' even felt like, did he ever? Will he ever know? He curled himself underneath the blanket which he oozed out of

The Boy: Ugh! This place sucks (CAR HORN)!

Enock: How'd you dodat with your mouth?

Great, The Crazy Clown boy was back, it COULD get worse than this

Enock: Wire you sleeping onda floor?

The Boy: Go Screw yourself freak! You're making everything worse!

Instead of screwing off he sat down on the floor and scouched himslef closer to him

Enock: 何が問題なの?

The Boy: Stop! Just Stop! Everything here is so freaking weird! I just... I just wanna go home, But I dont even now what home is! I dont even remember what normal feels like and YOU being a total weirdo freakazoid IS. NOT. HELPING. So go AWAY!

The Boy: Ugh, can my life get any worse??

Enock: Do You... wanna A hug? Dey always make everything better!

He extended his arms to hug him, but he slithered away from him, His gelatinous body literally boiling and bubbling like a angry Cat hissing at a puppy, but Enock's arms were still extended

Enock: C'mon! It'll help!

The boys body sizzled louder, making the blanket burn off his body

Enock: ... pretty please?

Pomni far away: Ennie! Its Time for Bed!

Enock hesitated to leave for a bit, before sprinting away to his room, The boy continued helplessly to try to get comfortable on the hard floor, He felt his eye start to water and he started to weep, he didn't know why he was here, or what this place even his he just wanted to go home,

but... did he know even know home was?

END OF CHAPTER 1

Part 2

[douglysium]

I feel like not enough people talk about The Corruption's themes of self-loathing in regards to love. The idea that you are so disgusted by yourself you think the only thing that could love you is the crawling worms, slimy bacteria, scuttling insects, and blooming mold. You feel like an insect worth less than dirt and truly the soil and bugs you feel like must be the only things that can love you. Rot is the only thing that does not discriminate its love, as it embraces all equally.

[kiyfra]

The third and final chapter of Katatsumuri is finished! It can be read here or on A03. Pokerus AU belongs to @monsoon-of-art.

"A creature given to melancholy. I suspect its metallic shell developed as a result of the mucus on its skin reacting with the iron in Hisui's water."

----------------------------------------------------------------

Gaeric’s tent was still coated in ice, a thick sheet of it forming a few days ago. The warden’s remaining hand had fallen off just as his arm and leg had, this time during the clan’s communal dinner. A loud crack was heard through the dining hall and the hand shattered like glass upon hitting the ground, drawing everyone’s attention. Gaeric had solemnly gotten up and announced he was going to bed, managing his crutch as best he could and ignoring his concerned clan mates offering to help. He kept his head down and headed to his tent with a thousand yard stare.

A heavy snow storm raged that night and come morning the tent was cocooned in a dense layer of ice, separating it from the outside world. Neither fire nor steel could put a dent in it; a complete black box where Gaeric was presumably undergoing the final stages of his metamorphosis.

Shouts asking if he was alright hadn’t produced a response, indeed nothing could be heard from within the ice chrysalis. Even if Gaeric was attempting to ride it out as stoically as possible, he would have wanted to reassure his worried clan members. Either he couldn’t hear them or he couldn’t answer, neither was comforting. There was an eerie stillness in the air as the clan waited.

Lian almost envied the solitude. He spent most of his time in his tent, withdrawn into his shell, hoping to blot out the world around him. He didn’t want anyone to see him like this, slimy, immobile, unable to fulfill his duties as a warden and completely dependent on others.

He had been transformed completely into a sliggoo, the painful process finally at an end after so many weeks. It had felt like a Fox resided in him and took delight in tormenting him. Lian could imagine sharp claws slowly dragging organs into place, muscles being stretched and molded. His entire body being rearranged as it saw fit, heedless of his cries begging it to stop. A metallic shell grew out of his skin, spiraling around his lower half as his legs atrophied.

With his transformation complete the thing had gone dormant, evidently satisfied with the new arrangement. Enzymes had finished dissolving his skeleton, his flesh was gluey to the touch and muscular tissue affixed to the absurdly heavy shell.

Lian just didn’t want to think or feel anything. Not the vicious cycle of his body excreting acidic mucus when he was stressed, then the awful disgusting feeling stressing him out more. Not about how he couldn’t keep being Lord Kleavor’s warden and how he’d be stuck like this forever. If he kept trying to retreat further back and concentrate on the smooth curved interior of his shell, he could pretend he didn’t even have a body.

People still came to bring him meals and check on him before Lian quickly dismissed them. He knew if he didn’t he’d have to endure awkward attempts at conversation and answer unwanted questions.

“How are you doing? You really shouldn’t spend all your time moping. Why don’t you join everyone else for dinner?”

What was he even supposed to say to that?

The clan respected his need for space and Lian knew he wasn’t the only one suffering. Very few across Hisui had escaped the bizarre infliction turning people into pokémon; PokéRus, as the Galaxy professor called it. Those that worked closely with pokémon turned first, meaning the wardens and clan leaders, but it soon spread to everyone. Snovers, bunearys, piloswines, sneasles and an assortment of others at differing stages of transformation became a common sight at the settlement.

It wasn’t much fun turning into a quadruped, losing opposable thumbs or gaining bizarre new dietary needs. Many had been trying to ignore their newfound desires to eat grass or raw meat. Lian himself found that anything with salt made him violently ill, so that meant he couldn’t eat any of the clan’s cured meat they had stored. He had mostly been eating soup, the liquid diet being the easiest on him since his teeth fell out.

A bowl of mushroom stew sat uneaten by his bedside, having gone cold an hour ago. Lian couldn’t stand the goopy squelching noises that came from him when eating. Eating sounds had always bothered and disgusted him, but were now unbearable. He was repulsed by the urge to let his own acid dissolve the food before eating or needing to use a chitinous tongue to eat anything solid. He could barely bring himself to eat the meals brought to him, only doing so at his partner’s insistence.

Goomy hadn’t left his side since he was brought to the settlement, frequently leaning against him in an attempt to comfort him and kicking up a fuss if he thought Lian was letting himself waste away.

He knew it was wrong to worry his partner like that, especially after the stunt he pulled in the mire lands. It had given him and Calaba quite a fright when Lord Kleavor started bellowing outside Calaba’s tent, carrying him by the scruff of his tunic, half-conscious.

His partner abruptly perked up, noticing someone approaching the camp briefly before Lian did. A small dewott treaded through the Pearl Clan settlement carrying a heavy satchel. They were beating a path directly to Lian’s tent, the physical details filled in long before they approached the door.  Black nub ears poked out from a head-kerchief and a long scarf was wound snuggly around their neck. The locks of hair adorning both sides of their face like mock lop ears couldn’t have belonged to anyone else but Dawn.

She had clearly been swimming recently; water droplets still clung to her fur and her scarf was frozen stiff. Snow stuck to her fluffed up coat and ice crystals formed at the end of her whiskers. She was still pretty, even as a dewott.

A small paw rapped on the door to his tent. “Lian, can I come in?”

He really didn’t want Dawn to see him. He spent several seconds trying to think of a response, some way to send her away that wasn’t rude before she asked, “Are you okay?”

He didn’t dignify that with an answer. She seemed to realize her mistake and followed up with, “Right, that was a dumb question.”

There was an awkward pause as Dawn deliberated on what she should say or do next. No one in the Pearl Clan would take kindly to someone entering their home, their sacred space, without permission. If Lian told her to leave, there was nothing she could do.

After some deliberation, she decided to just go for it and state the reason for her visit.

“I brought you something,” Dawn announced, lifting her waterlogged satchel up. She clearly went out of her way to see him and there was no polite way to tell her to leave. Besides, Lian would be lying if he said he wasn’t intrigued by the gift and what she went swimming in the ice lands for.

His curiosity won out. “Come in.”

The dewott opened the door, shaking herself to clear the water and snow off before entering.

It was completely dark inside his tent save for the afternoon sun pouring through the now open door, giving his living space a depressing atmosphere. He was resting on the floor next to his bed, peering out over the edge of his shell self-consciously, with his partner Goomy beside him. He still wore his hat, without it he’d feel completely naked.

Lian’s tent had fallen into a state of disarray with his Pearl Clan uniform tossed carelessly onto the bed that could no longer support his weight, blankets strewn about on the floor and neatly arranged shelves of stones and minerals gathering dust. A lantern that hadn’t been used in some time sat upon a table next to his uneaten lunch.

Dawn closed the door behind her to avoid letting the heat escape, once again plunging the tent into darkness. She strode towards him before stumbling, her foot caught on one of the many blankets he had left lying around for his makeshift nest.

“May I put on a light?” the girl asked, clearly not wanting to impose.

Lian had no need for a light source in his current state and his partner was unbothered by the dim living space so it failed to occur to him that his guest would need one.

“My apologies, the lantern is on the table,” Lian said, mentally kicking himself for his lack of consideration.

Dawn stood on tip toes as she lit the lantern, the orange glow illuminating the cluttered abode.

“Please do forgive the mess. I wasn’t expecting company.”

She brushed it off as not a big deal as she sat down cross legged beside him, setting the satchel down on her lap. Goomy was happy to see her, sidling up and clamouring for attention. Dawn laughed as she pat his head. “Sorry, I didn’t bring anything for you.”

She returned her attention to the gift and opened her satchel.

“I went diving for rocks for your collection.”

He hadn’t expected that. Nobody really payed much attention to his lectures on minerals or the importance of stones. He was used to being politely tolerated when he tried to share his knowledge about ores and later admonished for boring people with long winded speeches.

“I thought there might be some interesting ones underwater you couldn’t find on land,” she explained, looking for a stone she deemed a good one.

Under normal circumstances Lian would have been stoked. He’d always wanted to investigate underwater rock formations and having a friend to spend the afternoon with, speculating about their composition and formation would have been the cherry on top.

It almost seemed cruel the opportunity would come now when he couldn’t fully appreciate such a gift with the loss of his eyesight. Never again would he be able to see the subtle flecks of mica in a sun stone or the deep blue of a water stone. Lian hoped his despondency wasn’t too apparent; it was a very thoughtful gesture and he didn’t want to come across as ungrateful.

“This one came from Heart’s Crag. I found it on the way over here,” Dawn said, passing one of the rocks over to him.

He accepted the gift and turned it over in his hands. It was a flat disk shaped stone, one that had been smoothed out by erosion at the bottom of a riverbed. A pleasing streak of quartz ran through it with a small pocket of crystals that hadn’t been worn down in the center.

Was it a pale grey, a dark black or perhaps a ruddy red? Would he forget what those looked like with time?

“So, what do you think?” Dawn asked, looking up at him hopefully.

He considered his response for a long minute.

“Thank you for the gift and for taking the time to visit me. I truly do appreciate your concern.“ Lian said finally, sounding too careful, too rehearsed.

He didn’t seem inclined to say much more, but Dawn wasn’t giving up that easily. Ignoring the implicit rejection, she searched her bag for another rock, one she brought specifically for this purpose.

Time to bring out the conversation starter.

“You know, I think I actually found gold!”

Dawn removed an ore from her bag and Lian’s senses informed him of the rigid cubes composing its shape, immediately guessing the girl’s mix up. She handed it to him for appraisal, confirming what he’d already suspected.

“This is pyrite, fool’s gold. The most obvious giveaway is the cubic structure, but if you look closely you can see striations on its surface,” he lectured his impromptu student, pointing to the parallel lines covering the exterior.

“Wow, you can tell all that just from touching it?” She sounded genuinely surprised.

“Sure I can, that’s child’s play! But this...“ he picked up the river stone to gesture with it. “I can’t tell you much besides that it’s probably igneous. The weight and density means it’s unlikely to be sedimentary and a cavity like this wouldn’t remain if it was metamorphic.”

Lian brought the stone in front of his face and squinted as if straining his eyes would cause them to miraculously start working again.

“I’d wager that a gas bubble was trapped in the quartz vein while it was still magma and a slow cooling process allowed larger crystals to form.”

It was clear from his tone that he didn’t consider the observation impressive. The girl looking up at him with wide eyes evidently disagreed.

“If you call that not knowing much then you must be a genius! It’s no wonder Lord Kleavor made you his warden!”

If the praise were coming from anyone else he would have agreed without hesitation. But praise from the girl turned dewott sitting cross legged in front of him caused his face to grow warm and he mumbled about how it wasn’t that impressive with uncharacteristic modesty.

Dawn rooted through her satchel again and brought out a handful of rocks. “What can you tell me about these?”

The two of them spent a solid hour going over the various stones collected from around Hisui, Dawn listening attentively as he lectured her about composition, formation and any other noteworthy facts.

Lian had a considerable base of knowledge to draw upon, but it was an interesting test of his abilities to identify minerals without visual information. He’d explain what he could discern about the rocks he had never seen before and account for how years underwater changed the ones he was familiar with, adding a new layer of complexity. He was surprised that he found himself enjoying the challenge.

Crystalline, gritty, porous; the shapes and textures told him a lot about their makeup and the environments they were formed in. He would speculate out loud and Dawn would interject with questions he was all too happy to answer.

A thought occurred to him. Did she deliberately choose stones that would be interesting from a tactile perspective? She’s so kind and intelligent...

Dawn finally brought out the last rock, a hunk of limestone embedded with many tiny shells. “They kind of look like helix fossils, but way smaller.”

“I wonder if they might have been juveniles of the species,” Lian pondered.

“No, baby omanytes are nowhere near that small,” Dawn said, recalling when Lucas bred one of his omastars and Professor Rowan’s lab was overrun by a swarm of the cute little buggers.

Lian looked at her incredulously. “How would you know?”

“Back home there were researchers that studied fossils. They could tell a lot about the pokémon they used to be and I was helping a professor with a research project.”

Dawn was careful not to mention she had live specimens to study. Explaining she was from a place where people had figured out how to revive species from fossils would sound far too suspicious, never mind telling anyone she was from the future.

Lian wasn’t wary or distrustful of her like some people were. There was already an amnesiac skyfaller that had been part of his clan for years, but Kleavor’s warden could still be rather prickly. A lot of people in Hisui were highly superstitious and Kamando had made it clear her place in Jubilife was conditional. No, the fewer people that knew, the better.

“I used to spend a lot of time in the Underground and I’d find a lot of fossils to bring back. I think you’d really like it there!”

Lian listened, enraptured as Dawn talked at length about the massive tunnel system that ran under her home region and how plenty of people built secret bases and went treasure hunting there. She spoke of rare evolution stones, rocks with mysterious effects on the weather, ores valued by collectors and fossils she sought after for her research.

“I’ve never found a skull fossil! My friends find them all the time, but I’ve never found one!” Dawn ranted, throwing her hands up in frustration.

Lian swung his head towards her, his eyes narrowing gave the impression he was staring straight at her.

“Didn’t you say you lost your memories?” he blurted out, his tone probably sounding more accusatory than he meant it to.

“Well, er-“

In her excitement, Dawn had forgotten she was supposed to be playing the role of a poor amnesiac girl.

“I- I started remembering some things recently!” she hastily explained.

A flash of inspiration struck her. “After my first battle with Ingo I started recalling some things about my home. Battles have been jogging my memory lately.”

Lian’s expression didn’t change. Dawn wasn’t sure if he believed the lie or not; either way he didn’t challenge her on it. It’s not like he could prove she was lying.

Itching to change the subject, she asked, “Actually, I’ve got a question. Obsidian is formed by volcanoes right? But I’ve seen scythers and gravelers carrying pieces of Black Augurite. So how does it get all the way to the Fieldlands?”

“There are large deposits in the Obsidian Fieldlands.” Lian accepted the change in topic, eager to discuss anything relating to his passions with such an inquisitive student. “That’s actually where it gets it’s name! My current theory is that they were picked up and moved by glaciers during the ice age.”

Goomy had started to doze off, content to leave the two of them to their geology lesson. A thick bubble of snot formed, expanding and deflating with his snores.

“But not all obsidian is Black Augurite. Every warden to a Noble Kleavor has to learn how to distinguish the evolution stone from regular obsidian.”

Lian had extended pretty far out of his shell, drawn up and excitedly gesturing for emphasis.

“Of course, I learned long before anyone ever considered me for the position. It was only natural Lord Kleavor recognized my aptitude and chose me to be his warden.”

He already had several pieces stored away for when the Lord of the Woods chose his heir. Lian was quite familiar with the largest and most powerful of his children, an alpha scyther that he allowed to share his territory.

They were quite an impressive specimen with a sturdy carapace and serrated scythes who the Lord wouldn’t even considered for the position, for the usual reasons alphas were passed over. Far too aggressive and preoccupied with their own standing, they held little appreciation for the duties and expectations the Noble title conferred. Lord Kleavor and his warden would just have to keep an eye on his offspring to determine which of his children was a worthy successor.

Would he ever ever get to present his Black Augurite to an heir? Lian tried to imagine tending to his Noble as a sliggoo and nothing seemed right. How could he possibly gather the plump beans for Lord Kleavor and his children, let alone present offerings covered in cold snot? A sliggoo couldn’t socialize baby scythers and get them used to humans.

Lian retreated back into his shell, his eyes barely visible from under the brim of his hat. “I might have to give mine away...” he said, his voice tiny.

“What? Why?” she exclaimed, her eyes wide with surprise and worry.

He took a deep breath, hoping his words would convey his conundrum and testiness wouldn’t creep into his voice. “I don’t believe I can continue being a warden in my current state. Lord Kleavor deserves to have a warden that can properly tend to him.”

Dawn stared at him quizzically. “Because you turned into a pokémon? I don’t know who you think would replace you then. Everyone has been infected.”

“Someone who wouldn’t offend Lord Kleavor with offerings covered in mucus!” Lian would have grit his teeth if he still had any, feeling a surge of irritation at her failure to comprehend his predicament.

She blinked. “Then wear gloves!”

Dawn had stood up to shout, startling Goomy awake, his sleep bubble bursting with a loud pop.

Lian was running out of patience. “I have to fill and bring a basket to Grandtree Arena at least twice daily, often more. How do you expect me to carry it?”

“You can work something out!” She let out an exasperated sigh. “Lian, what exactly is your plan here? Are you just going to spend the rest of your life sulking in your room?”

By now Lian was fuming at her, gripping the edge of his shell and wishing she could feel the rage that must be coming off of him in waves, lest he say something he would later regret.

Dawn continued. “Look, I don’t know what’s going to happen, maybe you can’t be a warden anymore. But there are problems of yours that you can solve.”

He had half a mind to yell at her to get out. This sort of discussion was exactly what he didn’t want and why he had turned everyone else away. Had she planned this from the start? Lian felt a sting of betrayal at her entering his home to talk under such false pretenses.

“All of this is easy for you to say when you’re still walking around, on two legs I might add, with all your senses working just fine and your skeleton intact.” Lian started, venom dripping from his words.

Goomy shrunk in on himself, trying to look as small as possible knowing this was going to turn ugly.

“But some of us have to face the indignities of not even being able to get out of our beds or homes without assistance. Do you know that when I have to relieve myself I need to have Paulina carry me away and bring me back? So don’t lecture me on what I should be doing when you had it easy!”

Dawn stared at him in stunned silence. He wasn’t sure if his rebuke had sounded as poignant as he intended or if he had sounded petulant to her.

“I had it easy? My mom and my friends don’t know where I am and probably think I’m dead and I’ll never get to see them again!”

Lian knew he screwed up. His anger quickly fizzled away and was replaced by an uneasy regret, but Dawn wasn’t finished yet.

“The Galaxy Team decided that I had to risk my life to save your Nobles and people still think that I’m to blame for all this! Do you think I can just mope around in my room?  No, I have to work my butt off every single day if I don’t want to be left to fend for myself in the wilderness! And I've got to do all of this while knowing I’m never going to go home and I don’t even get to be a human!”

Dawn stood there with her hands balled into fists and shaking, looking like she was about to cry.

If Lian thought his ire was palpable, her rage could have incinerated him on the spot. He wanted nothing more than retreat into his shell to hide in shame.

“I’m not going to stand here and argue with you over which of us has it worse. But don’t you dare tell me I had it easy!” Her voice cracked as she finished her tirade.

Lian struggled to find the words that could properly express the guilt prickling at him. How could he have said something so blatantly disrespectful to the girl that had calmed his Lord and scoured Hisui for gifts to cheer him up? It was several agonizingly long minutes before he found the ability to speak again.

“I’ve allowed my frustrations to get the better of me and I spoke out of turn. You have my sincerest apologies for such unwarranted hostility.”

The mechanical sounding apology seemed horribly inadequate and Dawn remained impassive. He made a point of turning his face towards her to create the illusion he was looking her in the eye.

“I lost my mother too, several years ago. I understand what it’s like knowing you’ll never see someone again.” He pulled down the brim of his hat. “I’m sorry.”

Dawn sniffed and wiped at her eyes with the back of her paw as she sat back down. “Neither of us wants things to be this way, but they are and there’s nothing we can do about that. Why don’t we focus on what we can change?”

She opted not to mention her studies with Volo into the myths of Hisui’s legendary hero or both of their search for the plates. The merchant believed something similar happened long ago and the plates held the solution to Hisui’s current predicament. While Volo was convinced and Dawn was inclined to trust his judgment, she remained cautiously optimistic without much else to go off of. She didn’t want to get Lian’s hopes up in case that didn’t pan out.

“What would you have me do?” Lian asked.

Goomy squeaked for his trainer’s attention and drew itself up as tall as possible, swaying slightly before tucking his head down and performing the slowest somersault one could imagine.

Lian understood what he was suggesting. He had seen sliggoos rolling on the sides of their shells like a wheel as their primary means of traversal. It was such a bizarre form of locomotion and seemed so disorientating. How were you supposed to stop or steer?

“That’s a great idea Goomy!” Dawn agreed with his partner. “Lian, why don’t we spend the rest of the day figuring out how you can roll around? It would probably help you feel better about yourself.”

Previously, he would immediately shut down at the idea whenever he considered his mobility needs, a sheer gut punch refusal to entertain the notion. But he needed some way to get around. What other choice did he have? Besides, wardens don’t sulk.

He let out a beleaguered sigh. “Sure, might as well roll down to Avalugg’s Legacy. That seems like a productive way to spend the afternoon.”

“I’m just trying to help...” Dawn looked away, hurt in her voice.

“I-I wasn’t being sarcastic!” he clarified. “I appreciate your help and I truly am sorry for acting like such an ingrate.”

She cheered up immediately. “That’s okay!”

The dewott girl marched over to the door and swung it open, a gust of cold air sweeping through the room.

Wait, right now?

“Don’t worry, you’ve got this!” Dawn grinned as she gave the thumbs up with both hands.

Now wasn’t the time to get cold feet. Taking a deep breath to calm his nerves, he gripped the edge of his shell and hoisted himself upright in one motion, balancing precariously on his side.

Lian had no idea what to do next and remained there, paralyzed by indecision until he felt himself starting to tip over. He gave an alarmed shout and flailed uselessly before Dawn and Goomy rushed over to catch his fall, Dawn straining under the weight as she tried to push him over with her back and shoulder.

It was clear he couldn’t balance on his side and he needed momentum, so he withdrew into his shell and took a guess, throwing himself against the inside of the shell to roll forward. He moved forward slightly, and feeling encouraged, tried again.

He started to pick up momentum as he rolled towards the door, the weight lifted off of Dawn and Goomy. He felt like he was starting to get the hang of it as he tried to time his forward pitches, his friends cheering as he gained speed. With an air of confidence, Lian rolled straight out the door and into the frigid afternoon air of the camp. As the winding path through the settlement and tents dotting the hill stood before him, he realized his mistake.

The boy panicked as he slowly rolled over the crest of the hill with no way to stop or slow down. Everything seemed to happen in slow motion at the precipice and gave him plenty of time to understand what was going to happen next. One moment he was barely moving, then all at once his heart plunged as he rapidly gained speed and was sent barreling through the camp.

Lian shouted as hard as he could to warn anyone that might be in his path, his voice echoing inside his shell deafeningly. Pearl Clan members in various stages of metamorphosis looked up from what they were doing, eyes widening in alarm and diving out of the way of the steel juggernaut heading their way.

More voices joined in the panicked shouting as he smashed through a water barrel and a clothes line, scattering clean laundry to the wind. It barely even slowed him down as he whirled past clans folk exiting their tents to see what the commotion was.

His brain was swiftly processing every bump and dip in the terrain, but he had no idea what to do with it. There was no way he’d be able to follow the footpath that wound back and forth, instead his route to the camp’s exit would take him over several harsh drops and dangerously close to many people’s tents.

Experimentally, he tried to lean to the side to turn. When that threatened to tip him over, he over corrected and added a dangerous wobble to his trajectory, swerving wildly back and forth.

The pandemonium went unnoticed by a snorunt boy only a few years older than him who was preoccupied with chopping firewood. A bolt of panic went through him and he screamed at the top of his lungs for him to get out of the way, terrified his warning wouldn’t be heeded in time.

The kid looked up and dropped his axe before throwing himself against his tent, just barely clipped by the five hundred pound armoured wheel barreling past him. The kid screamed as they narrowly avoided being flattened.

The spike in adrenaline from the close call caused something to shift in Lian’s brain, some pathway that was previously closed was now open. Lian gasped as claws raked through his mind like those of a Fox, or something equally as angry and spiteful. They gripped and dug into him to tear him away from his body, to leave something else at the helm.

The world faded away as those claws dragged him down, made him small and rendered him a passenger in his own mind. Lian tried to scream but no sound came out, his voice and psyche swallowed up by the darkness.

----------------------------------------------------------------

It all made sense now. He knew exactly how far to lean in order to turn, how to compensate for every irregularity in the terrain. How to work with the momentum and how he could stop on a dime. His shell wasn’t a ball and chain restraining him, it was freedom, it was movement itself. Just as his legs had been before, his shell was a natural extension of himself; a self-contained world, a shelter, a shield and a weapon.

With his mastery, he’d see prey driven before him. Unable to escape in time before he chased them down, painful squeals as their bones cracked, bursting open and steam rising from the entrails as they were crushed. Delicious meat would spill out onto the ground then he and his odd pack would feast.

His kind were not avid hunters, typically feeding on plant matter and carcasses left behind by other predators. But he was no ordinary sliggoo, he was part of a pack of alphas, larger and more voracious than other members of their species.

He’d learn to hunt and hone his skills as a predator to prove he deserved his place amongst them. Dragging back the large kills dripping with viscera would show everyone that he wasn’t a runt that constantly needed to be looked after. Tearing and battering, he’d bloody himself fending off their rivals as many times as he needed to until they never looked down on him again.

And he’d do it because he loved them.

Because he wanted to provide for his kin, to be able to protect them when needed. His body flushed with warmth at the thought of his pack feeding from his kills, growing stronger from the meat together.

And he’d do it to the impress her.

The mighty huntress whose prowess in combat dwarfed that of even the Nobles. A warrior that presided over an enormous pack that brought so many alphas to heel and a roaming territory that spanned all of Hisui.

As he matured into a proper alpha, he would approach her looking to be accepted as her mate. Already she had brought gifts for him to decorate his nest;  she was considering him as a potential suitor, he was sure of it.

They were both juveniles, but had already proven so much to their respective packs. Fearless, they defied expectations and met challenges their contemporaries shied away from, ascending the ranks.

What had he done again? It didn’t matter; he would kill and kill again until everyone had their fill, then he would start his courtship.

He would need to bring an appropriate gift to demonstrate his caliber as a mate; fresh meat from a hunt would display his aptitude as a predator and show he was worthy of being consort.

He could start with the dewott that had wandered into their territory...

“WATCH OUT!”

The shout from the Survey Corps girl snapped Lian back to reality, with such alien, animalistic thoughts already fading from memory and leaving a cold uneasy dread in their place.

He had no time to ponder what happened as he was still steamrolling through the camp, now on a collision course with Gaeric’s tent.

The frozen obelisk was fast approaching, the boy rattling inside his shell with the ground becoming more uneven. Lian remained petrified as he rocketed over a large bump and he was suddenly launched airborne. He helplessly sailed through the air like a shot put, spinning head over tail as he braced for impact.

He ricocheted off the pillar of ice with a loud clang and landed hard some distance away on the packed snow, the crash knocking the wind out of him.

Dawn trotted down the slope towards the crowd that had gathered, carrying Goomy in front of her with two paws.

“-ian! Lian, are you alright?”

He was still too dazed to process what she was saying and was busy trying to understand the strange gap in his memory. There was an odd jump where one moment he was on the foot path towards the camp’s entrance, then the next he was careening towards the ice chrysalis.

“Lian?”

Right, he needed to answer her.

“I’m okay. It just stunned me.”

“No kidding! You got quite a bit of hang time!” she exclaimed, setting Goomy down beside her.

All things considered, Lian supposed that could have gone much worse. Already he was thinking of what he could have done better. The boy turned sliggoo now had some understanding of what proper direction and movement would entail, more than his practice session alone could have taught him.

Deep down, Lian knew that if he looked inside himself he’d find all the information he needed. His body would no longer feel like a stranger to him and he would be free to use any move he had at his disposal. Everything about being a sliggoo would become second nature.

Such a deal would come at a terrible cost, one he’d never willingly accept, but Lian was beginning to suspect that he frankly didn’t have a choice in the matter.

There was a loud crack that rang through the camp that sounded like an ice sheet breaking. Lian and the rest of the Pearl Clan immediately went on the alert, always vigilant for such a sound as it signalled the possibility of an avalanche.

The mountains surrounding the camp and their slopes were shaped in such a way that they usually directed avalanches away from the settlement, having been sculpted by a Noble Avalugg long ago. The camp was not at risk of being buried, but even the small ones that came down the settlement’s side could be dangerous.

The gathered clan members were trying to locate the source as they rounded up children and elders, prepared to evacuate them to safety until a girl with buneary ears shouted “Look!” pointing to a large fracture in the ice encasing Gaeric’s tent.

D-did... did I do that?

As the minutes crawled by, more tiny cracks spread out and bits of ice chipped and broke off. Though a slow process, the shards that fell off melted supernaturally fast, gone in a matter of seconds.

Any thought of spending the afternoon on practice was long gone as the Pearl Clan gathered, barely daring to breathe as they waited to see what emerged.

----------------------------------------------------------------

“It has trouble drawing a line between friends and food. It will calmly try to melt and eat even those it gets along well with.”

[blackjackkent]

So - on that note... let's go kill us a hag. :D

Rakha absolutely ransacks the whole teahouse, turning it upside down looking for anything useful - which turns out mostly to be healing potions.

(Sadly, none of the companions have actual in-game dialogue commenting on Rakha's terrible decision-making with regards to her eye getting ripped out, but that's okay, because I wrote my own anyway. XD )

Rakha also now has a permanent debuff called "Paid the Price":

My exact thought process on seeing this:

So this next fight will be interesting.

Following the tunnel behind the teahouse fireplace leads them down into an overgrown cave full of knotted vines, gnarled roots, and muck. Rakha, already keyed up and angry, shivers as she smells the death in the place; many have met their ends here - or, judging by the little Wyll has told her of hags, some other more terrible fate.

Ethel is waiting for them.

"You are as thick as they come, sweetness," she sneers. "That pretty little eye of yours is *mine*. Did you think you could sneak down here without my say-so? This is my personal playhouse and you don't have an invite. Get. Out."

"Or what?" Rakha growls.

"Oh, the cocky ones are my favorite to chew on!" Ethel crows gleefully. "Keep going, petal - and you'll find out."

She disappears with a keening, maniacal laugh.

-----

The lair is full of trapped people, all caught in various stages of their "rewards" at Ethel's hands. Rakha shows little interest in them - her attention is purely on finding Ethel and destroying her. She can feel the magic in the place, though - a dark and decaying sort, hanging like mold through the Weave. It does not sing on her skin, but drags, slimy and slick, malevolent.

A door at the room's far end is particularly saturated in that air of darkness; there's a face carved into its wood that stares at her unblinking.

Narrator: You feel crushing waves of fear as the presence within the door recoils. It can't let people through. Not again.

Rakha's jaw works. She has no interest in the emotions of the furniture, either - her hand is already on her quarterstaff, ready to smash the door apart. "No time to chat," she snaps. "I'm here to kill the hag."

Narrator: A scene appears in your mind: two paladins and a cleric marching through the door, shrouded in the glow of the divine. Screams of terror pierce the air.

An echo of Ethel's voice rings over the memory. "You let them in? Naughty. That's a decade for each. You're mine for thirty more years, petal..."

This tells Rakha nothing - except that Ethel's cruelty is not limited to Rakha herself. All the more reason to go forward and destroy her. "I mean it," she growls. "Let me through."

Narrator: The door stays silent. [ARCANA] Its form flickers, and you realize that the door is transparent.

(A/N: Pedantic nitpick - she definitely means "immaterial." But whatever. XD )

Rakha raises her eyebrows. "I can see through you. I can just walk right in."

Narrator: You see the hag, eyes bright with glee, as she sets fire to the door. With a jerk, you're pulled from the vision. The presence within shrinks - begging you not to run through it.

She ignores the thing's fear. Ethel will die, and then it won't matter anyway. Striding forward, she disappears past the shuddering barrier and deeper into the lair.

[hecula-propaganda]

I wanted to post this on AO3, but right now I think it sucks. Anyway, have a Dungeon Meshi-inspired nightmare.

~

The wolf’s fur smothered all senses.

Hector was blind and deaf, because his eyes were clouded by thick darkness, like a night without stars, and his own heart hammered in his ears; his limbs were pinned under the wolf’s paws, solid and strong and hefty and with long claws piercing his flesh; and he couldn’t breathe, he couldn’t breathe anything that wasn’t the stench of blood coming from the beast.

You’re safe, pet. You’re with me. There’s nothing to be afraid of. I will keep you warm, I will protect you from the world.

And Hector could do nothing but hang from the wolf’s reassuring words, to not fall down the pit of the unknown; there was nothing else he could do, not even stop the shivers that shook his bare body, exposed to the ghastly chill of the dead coming from the wolf.

Why do you fear me, Hector?

He couldn’t give an answer. There was no answer for such a question, not one that could be uttered. The wolf dragged its tongue on Hector’s throat, jaw, cheek, slimy and lukewarm due to his own blood: Hector groaned, and when he turned his head, he met the eyes of the animal, blazing like the flames that eat at people’s lives. Like a house on fire, he would be consumed.

I have molded this body, shaped it to my design. Don’t I have the right to savor it?

The wolf lifted a paw, allowing Hector to stroke its chest: the ribs protruded from it like jags. How long hadn’t it been feeding? How long would it take until it starved to death? The beast would have succumbed to death’s embrace without protesting, were it not for Hector, its anchor in the storm.

It wanted Hector – no, it needed him. He couldn’t let it suffer, not it, his only safe haven from the world that wanted to tear him to shreds. It was only fair that he gave himself in return.

His tongue and thighs had already been eaten as an appetizer, so Hector swallowed blood and bile and nodded without a word.

Good boy. You’re the only thing left that makes me proud.

The wolf probed Hector’s mouth with its long tongue, and he didn’t know if the taste of rot that invaded him came from it or from those words, as sweet as fruit left out in the sun.

The animal licked the stump, not paying mind to Hector writhing in disgust at the sickly intimate contact. He couldn’t reciprocate even if he wanted to, he wasn’t allowed; all that was in his power was to open wide his jaw as much as he could, to let the wolf in, he’d better not touch it with his teeth, only wolves could bite…

Air. Sweet, stale air. Hector inhaled all the air that his body could take in, all too aware that the relief would be short-lived and the feast would soon begin.

How did he arrive there? Thoughts and memories were blurred by a thick fog. He only knew that the wolf would have died without him, and there was no higher honor and devotion than to give yourself to such noble creature. It was what he was born for.

The wolf rubbed its humid nose against his cheek, and for one second, Hector closed his eyes and welcomed the sincere affection from the creature, like only it could give him.

And then sharp fangs tore the flesh of his stomach.

Hector screamed. He screamed until his chest heaved, but from his body only a feeble wheeze came out, and it only agitated him more, no, he wanted to scream, how could he not even do that?

The muscles stiffened in anticipation of an agony that did not come, in truth, Hector did not feel a thing, except for the long snout of the wolf digging inside his viscera, unraveling his intestines and ripping them rapaciously, ripping his stomach apart and turning his liver into mush; the mess spilled out of him, as the beast made its way deeper and deeper inside him.

The cold seeped through him, seizing him in an inescapable grasp, but he could hardly shake from it.

Sapped of all of his strength, Hector no longer even had the energy to thrash around to get away from the revolting sensation of the wound being stretched open, the flesh giving out to that foreign body entering him.

Foreign? The power that flows in your veins… that’s me. Don’t you feel it singing for me?

Oh yes he did, his own blood singing, crying out, calling its source by name – he couldn’t stand it, but couldn’t deny it either, the bond wrapped around both of them, the life flowing from one body to the other.

We are inextricable, dear.

Hector was part of the beast, akin to a limb, and to the beast he was destined to return. Nothing of him, his body, his mind, his power, his soul, truly belonged to him.

Was for that reason that his demon friends had guided him to the castle? Was that what they meant, when they had reassured him that that was the only place where he could exist?

Hector observed without seeing the wolf chewing and swallowing pieces of him down his swollen gullet, with what appeared to be a smile on his muzzle caked with blood.

Only he could satiate and satisfy it. Only it truly loved him.

He should have been happy, he thought, looking at the hole in his stomach.

Aren’t you glad to join me again, flesh of my flesh?

Did it matter if he was? The wolf would have feasted anyway. It was for its sake.

The wolf kept making its way through him, its breath at last hot enough to keep Hector warm. His ribs snapped like twigs under the strong jaws of the animal, crack, crack, crack, nothing in him could oppose resistance. Until Hector felt its tongue caress his heart, like a gentle promise.

No, not that! Please, I beg you!

You offered this to me a long time ago, with all the love you could keep inside it. Don’t you remember? It will be safe with me.

No… leave something to me… don’t take everything for yourself… What will be left of me?

Hector’s heart was kept safe behind the wolf’s teeth, reduced to thin shreds. This time, he didn’t even attempt to scream. It was all pointless. He would not live for longer, and it didn’t matter anymore.

That used to be mine…

You’re delicious. My Hector. My precious Hector, my best creation. I can’t be without you, and you can’t be without me. I gave you life, and you’ll return it to me.

Despite the stillness of his torn chest, the wolf’s words no longer reached him. They were supposed to fill the void inside him with life and joy, it promised him; but the white-hot heat that seared him did not come from the animal, no, something else, something scary was wriggling where his guts used to be.

Teeth clamped down on Hector’s throat, to lacerate it and finally end his suffering. Without air, without blood, without anything that made him human, Hector lay limp and weak like the empty shell that he was; and oh, if only hadn’t he given himself to his wolf, if only he kept his heart for himself instead of looking for a person worthy of it! If only had he been born a wolf, and bit the beast that devoured him…

Hector opened his eyes with a gasp, and he was alive.

In the mist of sleep, the reality became clearer at every blink: he was in his bed, he was home, he was whole, and Rosaly was sleeping peacefully to his side, an arm stretched across his chest where his heart was pounding.

It was just a nightmare; at every breath, the details became muddier, confused, not important. He let them slide off his fingers.

Hector passed a hand on his throat, and not even the small bumps under his fingertips could upset him, because despite everything, he was alive, and he got his heart back.

Not resisting the impulse of leaving a kiss on the forehead of his beloved, Hector fell back into a dreamless sleep.

[hyperrealisticblood]

some thoughts about wally and the various hidden text on the website:

so we all know the hidden text on the about us page right?? our good friend the hidden text on the about us page

realistically its probably from a whrp staff member because the "i want it out im going to get it out" probably refers to the effects of The Mold and the ringing and stuff BUT.

i bring this up because ive been thinking about the blacklight messages from the staff only page, namely this one, which implied that at least some of them were written by wally

but if thats the case, whats with this one talking about how disgusting everything is, which is mostly something the restoration team talks about?

and this one, is it someone from the restoration team apologizing to someone for inflicting The Mold upon them, or is wally the one apologizing??

we know these two are almost definitely from wally, so is it only the ones in all caps that are from him?? but whats with the signature then?? why make it so unclear which person is talking in which message???

and then i remembered the other instances of hidden text on the website: the messages from wally in the guestbook (the text from wally is in the alt text, its hard to read normally)

so we know wally has a history of communicating via text that has to be highlighted, AND in text that isnt in all caps.

so which messages are from wally, and which are from someone on the restoration team?? or are they ALL from wally??? and like. what is blacklight writing if not the physical equivalent of text that has to be highlighted to be read???

but why would wally be getting letters that are nasty and yucky and slimy?? the restoration team is the one who gets sent letters, not him. is text you have to highlight just a common way of hiding stuff and isnt indicative of one specific person speaking?? am i massively overcomplicating things?? did the team just kinda bungle that up in terms of narrative clarity?? should i sit my ass down and go back to writing yaoi instead of trying and failing to be a theory boy?? am i not at all qualified for this line of work?? definitely but that isnt gonna stop me from trying and making you all read my theories that read more like some shit from house of leaves than anything intelligent

uh. feel free to share your thoughts!!! sparkle on!!!!

[potionpeddlerpatchy]

Hi Patchy!!

For the Rummage Sale, can I get the intriguing book of old please? It looks very interesting, indeed 💚

Hello Nuggie, how truly happy it is for me to see you here; I have always enjoyed you company and have been grateful for your patronage from the very start!

More than happy to have you browse and look upon the many books I have here in my collection. And, if I may, I do suggest that deep blue book on the far right over on that shelf there. I have a feeling you will like it. 🔮

You sighed, loudly to yourself, as you turned away from the few ladies that were huddled together in the courtyard gardens. Though you could not remember what they had said, for your mind tried to piece together how you managed to get to where you were in the first place, you knew it was over something trivial and not worth your time.

That was the charm of courtly like. How the way of court always both amused and caused you chagrin. It was merely the nature of people to want to gossip and spread large tales; after all how else where they to fill such long days where they could not wish to bring themselves down low enough to work. Though at first you found the tall tales spread out to all those in course, about various people, to be rather fun. Easily your captivation was taken by these stories, whether true or not, and you could not help but wish to hear more and more.

Though, as time wore on, you grew to find such acts of gossip to be rather tedious. The upkeep to figure out who was not speaking to who, who had broken the trust of who, and all the little details in between to exhausting and thus you grew out of such a childish thing.  Sadly, as you were to quickly find out, just because you grew bored of it, did not mean the others in court shared you disillusionment. And, thus, day in and day out you heard of things such as courtship drama, spats that were between lords and ladies, to even things more wild like spells and curses.

Like today, when those ladies you had just scoffed at, had just pulled you into their small circle to allow you the chance to hear the latest news that had befallen onto the court. That of a Prince, from the Southern Isles, who had begun his travels to see and meet you. How he had gotten turned around, and who had then offended a poor woman who had offered him aide, and thus she placed a curse on him. And now? Well, the cursed had turned him into a frog, and he is now stuck to roam the earth as one – with his only hope that being a kiss from a fair maiden in order to break him free of such a miserable existence.

The story, to you at the very least, was not at all humorous nor in your realm of believability. Merely just mocking fodder against a travelling royal, one that you were sure these ladies did not life in the slightest, to try and mold the minds of all who hear it into believing that he was nothing more a slimy frog. How it made you roll your eyes as you continued on your way, to tend the duties set forth for you that day, as you begin to ponder just how little respect the people in your court had for the foreign sovereignty.

Though as the weeks passed, and the Prince still and yet to appear within your kingdom, you began to think the tall tales were true.

Prince Bakugou, the only son and heir to the Southern Isles, was meant to visit your kingdom at the end of the Spring months, just before the summer was to come and kiss your fields with its warmth. The reason for the visit was the hope of some kind of relationship between you and him. Whether political or romantic it did not matter, all that both of your parents cared for was an alliance between their children to ensure that the years they have spent building and strengthening their kingdoms would not them tumble down over night once they had left.

But now it was well into summer, and there had been no news as to where he was now. The only story you could hear, the only which anyone would give an ounce of credit to, was the tall and ridiculous tale that he had been cursed into a frog. For anyone knew, he may already be within the kingdom, just no one would know as he is hidden in plain sight.

It caused worry to make purchase into your soul. Worried that a terrible fate had befallen upon him and that now you would never have the chance to meet the man who had given you all those wonderful letter; the ones filled with hopes and dreams he had held onto for when his future would unfold. The kind, yet sweet ones, he would bestow on holidays and especially your birthday. As they years moved on, you could not help but think that perhaps something was budding in this friendship you had made, especially when he sent a portrait of himself before he set forth to your kingdom; a reminder of what he looked like.

Your heart fluttered as you remembered that letter. How he made so many declarations, ones over how he would sweep you off your feet and perhaps even offer his hand in courtship should all go well. And the warmth that bloomed in your chest when you looked upon his handsome, painted face, for the first time. He had grown into a handsome man, and you couldn’t help the giddiness that filled you as counted down the days before you could meet.

If all went well, you would marry him. At least that is what you hoped. Yet, with each sunset brought a new level of sorrow to filled you as you came finally came to the same conclusion everyone else had made.

Prince Bakugou was not coming.

And though everyone tried to reassure you otherwise, you knew it to be true when the Summer Solstice came and went; signally the beginning of summer, and he was still nowhere to be seen. You took it all with grace, setting forth a smiling face for those in your court – to not allow them to worry further over their future ruler. Yet, when the sun had gone down, and you were allowed yourself to be along by the riverbed, that was when you would cry and pray to whatever god that wished to take pity on you to allow you some closure. Though, when the sun broke the next day and nothing had changed you assumed that all your prayers went unanswered as you went about the same day once more.

Anger filled you after awhile. Anger over a budding romance lost, over how no one seemed to care about it, and over how the gods seemed to mock you each night as they ignored your pleas. It caused you, during the last night in August, to take the small ruby ring the Prince had gifted you when the year began, and throw it out into the river. To watch it sink within the many roots of the linden tree, out of your reach; a cathartic end the suffering you had endured.

Yet your sorrow did not follow. Just as quickly as the water had taken it, you felt regret fill you as you sunk to your knees to try and retrieve one of the only pieces of him that you had. Though you tried to take hold of the beautiful ring once more, it was always just out of your reach. Once more, tears welled into your eyes as your eyes as you crumbled to your knees; uncaring of the water that lapped at your dress, you wailed into the open hair of the night.

It was only broken when the small croaking of a frog sounded by you head. You sniffled, unburying your head from where you had caged it in your arms, to look upon the creature that seemed so curious over your plight that it had to break you from your sorrows.

“Hello there,” Your weak voiced called to it, watching as it hopped just a little closer to you “what brings you here?”

As a moment passed, then another, you couldn’t help but chuckle; finding humor in the fact you thought the frog would be able to speak a response to you. You wiped some of the tears that stained your face before you looked back at the little creature before you.

“Suppose it was my wailing that brought you forth.” You mused, glad to at least have a form of company at this moment “And I suppose you are wondering why I am acting in such a way.”

You paused, as you watched the frog blink once then twice, before continuing one; find that small movement a reassurance for you to keeping the conversation going; to answer the question you had ask on its behalf.

“It’s a long story, so I shall spare you the silly details” You mumbled, clearing your throat of the rasp that was held within it before continuing “But a man I loved has yet to come here, to see me. He told be the beginning of Summer he would make his appearance, but now we are at the end of it and he still has not come. In anger I threw the ring he gave me into this river, but I did not mean it. And now it sits just below the roots of that linden tree, out of my reach.”

You stopped for a moment, to even your breathing and allow you the chance to control your tears before the began falling once again “I just want it back, but there is no way for me to get it back.”

“What if I got it for you?” The frog replied, his voice croaked with underuse as it continue to look upon you.

Your breath hitched and lodge itself in your throat, it caused you to be unable to both speak and breathe as you eyes widened in shock over the situation at hand. Never before had an animal given you a verbal response, least of all a frog. It left your paralyzed as you tried to come up a response, though your mind was moving too quickly to figure out an answer to all this to do so.

“W-what…?” Was all you could come up with as you swallowed away the small panic that filled you.

“What if I got it for you?” It repeated, though the tone had changed – it was less curious and more agitated over your reaction.

“I…. I would be grateful, in – in your debt even?” You replied, as you watched the frog hop toward the tree is question.

You watched as he jumped onto the many roots that stood proudly out of the water, making comfortable purchase above where your precious ring now resided “I can get it for you,” The frog croaked “But you must pay me back in kind.”

“A kindness for a kindness?” You uttered, ensuring your understanding of the deal the frog wished to make; when you watched it nod its head to your words you spoke out again “W-well what could I do for you? I am not sure how I could repay a frog such as yourself.”

“A kiss.”

“A… a what?” “A kiss” The frog repeated, tone absolute and proof to you that you hadn’t misheard.

“Just one kiss?” You asked, disbelief washing over you as you watched the frog nod its head once more before resolution filled your being – after all what was one tiny kiss in return for you to get your precious ring back? “Alright, I’ll do it”

Without a second thought, or another between the pair of you, the frog drove into the cold waters below. You held your breath in anticipation as waited for it to resurface, for your ring to come back to you.

Jubilation filled you as you cried out in happiness when the frog resurfaced, your ring within it’s mouth. You smile grew wider with each hop it made back toward you. Unable to help yourself, once the frog was within arms length you took hold of it, bring it up to your lips for a swift peck upon its head.

You cried out in surprise when a pink haze of smoke greeted you, and filled your senses completely; you let go of the frog in your hands in favour of getting away from it all; to free your lungs of the strain of having to breath in such a heavy substance.

Though, as you stumbled away you noticed a shape within the dense fog; and as it all started to slowly go away, to disappear and have the world around be as it once was, the shape became clearer. It look like a man. One tall and well built. Enraptured you moved yourself closer once again, your arm reached out to see if it was truly real. When you fingertips brushed against the skin of the man’s arm, you knew it to be true.

~

“Do you like it?” A sweet voice asked you, causing you to look up from the tiny and worn pages of the deep blue book you had taken off the shelf.

“Umm..” You cleared your throat as you felt the heat of embarrassment kiss your cheeks “Y-yes it’s a really good read”

The woman, the peddler who owned the shop you had stumbled across and decided to take the leap and go in – to see the many wares and trinkets they owned and were giving away – merely smiled at your response “Well, if you truly think so, then by all means take it.” You began to protest, not wanting to take something so wonderful as a book that transports so completely into whatever story was that labelled upon it, but she merely shushed you with a wave of her hand.

“Nonsense, you will take it!” Her smile grew wider as if she knew a secret you didn’t “After all, the book would be very unhappy if you did”

I would not be surprised, my good friend, if you were to stumble across a frog on your way home tonight. Perhaps it to, is the man your heart has been pining after? 🔮

I do hope you wish to keep what you found, for all 'sales' are final

[asknarashikari]

Emu: You're Houtaro-kun's teacher right?

Minato: Yes, and you're Dr. Emu Hojo, Kamen Rider Ex-Aid.

Emu: I've just got one thing to say to you.

Emu: You better not turn out to be a slimy sneaky snake or frog if you know what's good for you.

Keiwa: Emu-sensei, that's not necessary.

Emu: Keiwa-kun, you know its necessary.

Emu: Kekera was supposed to support you, but instead he went with trying to mold you into his ideal Kamen Rider, and I hope Minato-sensei doesn't do that.

Emu: And if you do end up turning into Kekera, well Hyper Muteki is here.

----

do you think Minato-sensei turn out to be a Kekera? or would he be a true blue heroic character?

I think it's too early to speculate on that.

On one hand, he does seem to keep trying to drive this whole "Chemmies disrupt the natural order" philosophy on Houtaro, despite the fact that pretty much everytime a Chemmy gets corrupted it's because of humans and/or the Dark Sisters.

But he's also bent the rules a lot for him, like how he let the kid keep Sabosuke's flower and how he didn't immediately erase Ryo and Hijiri's memories when he should have, not to mention the way he even let Houtaro become an alchemist to begin with.

I think the next arc will be quite telling as to what he really thinks about Houtaro. Would he defend Houtaro against the allegations toward him? Would he believe these people who for all intents and purposes are his superiors out of hand? Or would he stay neutral and allow Houtaro and his actions to speak for themselves?

(I'll be honest though, I won't be terribly surprised if the one accusing Houtaro of being a spy turned out to be the spy... you know what they say about accusations being confessions...)

[i-am-hoo-iyam]

The kitchen lock

@mega-punani

“Blue geddown here it’s dinner!” “But I found a ladybug! Should I blast it to smithereens with a cannon?” “NO GET DOWN HERE ITS DINNER don’t you usually love mealtimes?” “But it’s mold stew. The one dish I don’t like.” Bear sighed. “It’s not mold stew! It’s leftovers and food theat will go bad if I don’t use it mixed up with broth and spices. Have you even tried it”. “Yeah and it was gross and slimy”. Bear sighed. “Well have fun sleeping hungry tomight then. Navy why are you poking it”. “It’s gross I tried it I did and I didn’t like it I’m gonna join blue”. “Is it really that bad guys?” Sans was eating it right up. “No it’s really good. It just has some old vegetables so that might be the slimy that’s putting them off”. Edge finished his bowl and said “I think those vegetables were past due”. “Then why did you eat it if you didn’t like it either?” “A good pirate always finnishws his dinner”. “Sometimes you seem more like a navy officer than a pirate”.

Blue couldn’t sleep cuz he was hungry. Navy’s stomach growled. They both tiptoed out of bed and snuck to the kitchen. They rattled the door. It had a shiny new doorknob with a lock in it. Bear picked them both up by the back of their shirts and put them back in bed. “But I’m hungryyyyy”. “Deal wid it”.bear went back to bed. Navy pulled a piece of wire out of his bucket and snuck back. He wiggled it around in the lock but nothing happened cuz he had no idea how to pick a lock. Bear came back out looking angrier and tossed them in their bed and slammed the door. Blue snuck into cash’s room. “Hey!” “Is it morning already?” “No but I’m hungry and you know how to pick a lock right?” “Oh. Sigh. Yes bear told me about that and he said if I touched the lock he’d slap me so hard my head would be on backwards. Go back to bed”. “But I’m hungry”. “Deal with it”. Cash rolled over and went back to sleep. “We’ll bear never said anything about teaching ME how to pick a lock right?” “Out”. Cash pointed to the door angrily and blue scurried back to bed.

Blue got an idea. He woke up navy, who had just fallen asleep, and motions to follow him. “Give up blue. I don’t wanna get in trouble cuz it’s scary!” Blue went on his own and then navy reluctantly followed.

Sans woke up when he heard soft footsteps on the deck. He blew the alarm horn that woke everyone up in an instant. “SOMEONE SNUCK ONTO OUR SHIP! Go get him, men!” They all hurried on deck and found blue frozen as he was opening the other door thst led to the kitchen from the dining room with a door to the deck. Sans was very very angry. He took blue by the neck and tied his wrists together in the front and also tied his ankles. He hung a hammock next to his bed in the captains quarters and lay blue down. “Sleep”. He went to his own bed, with blue tied up in the hammock unable to move.

The next morning they all headed to breakfast ( sans had untied blue). “Hey rat!you sure we’re in a bind last night! How’s you sleep?” “I hardly slept at all cuz I was hungry”. Blue was devouring his breakfast. Bear got an idea. “I usually have a cup of tea before bed, why don’t you join me and have an apple or somethjng so your not hungry at night”. “But I’m not hungry then I’m hungry at 3 in the morning”

[votestaynight]

15th day "Utopia" (scene 2)

I enter the darkness.

It's a room made of stone. The lights aren't on, but the room itself is glowing blue as if it's a living thing. "――An underground… temple…?" It might be used quite often as the temple isn't dirty with dust or mold.

…How deep is this? I look up the stairs I've descended. The staircase is built along the wall in an arc. It must trace out a perfect half-moon, as I can see the start of the stairs about ten meters directly above me――.

"―――――" Is it because there's no light? The arcing staircase that connects this underground and the outside world reminds me of a centipede crawling through this temple.

"…Mm?" And I notice the door. Under the stairs. The symbol in front of me. Beyond it, an entrance to darkness is open.

I approach the darkness as if drawn to it. I go through what appears to be an entrance into the place. Is it damp? The floor feels slimy and it's hard to walk on. It's like the time I cleaned the swimming pool at school. The feeling that bog moss covers the floor, and the feeling that my leg would rot every time I step in it.

"―――――!" I stop. It's because I'm scared by the nasty feeling of the floor, but more than that, because I smell an awful stench.

I plug my nose in reflex. The smell isn't momentary, but ongoing. …It's not the smell of meat. But it's not gunpowder either. Is this――formalin? The smell of medicine fills this room――

"――" My senses were numbed as soon as I came underground. I don't feel any chills or pressures anymore.

――But still. My heart beats like it's expanding to twice its size, And my hands are vermiculating like they're going to crumble into pieces. And the worst thing is―― My eyes have gotten used to the darkness.

――The darkness fades. A drop falls somewhere. Was that a signal? The things I couldn't see before are engraved into my eyes instantly.

"Ah――――――――" It is… A living hell that's somehow familiar.

There are corpses. There are corpses. There are corpses. There are corpses. There are corpses all around me. The smell of medicine covers the smell of death.

That's the cause of the dripping sound. The water is dripping into the corpses' mouths. The slightly opened mouths take in the water, and it must have been like that for many years as the lips are swollen and rotten, and the jaws are decomposing on some.

"Ah―――――Ah." I tell myself that this isn't happening. I don't want to think that such a thing can happen. But I can't deceive myself. I can tell in a second. Even though there are this many corpses… No one is dead in here.

"―――――They're… alive…" They're alive. These things that can only be perceived as corpses, these things that used to have human shape, are still quite alive.

…I remember a news story I heard somewhere. It was a story about a whale. About a guy who survived for a month after being swallowed by a whale. That huge creature has a huge digestive system to maintain its huge body. The great thing is, the creature has two of them. The first stomach is where it keeps all the fish it swallows. The next one is the one that digests all the creatures it stores.

So, the man who was swallowed lived for a month being slowly melted in the lightless, warm, stinking meat, lacking in oxygen. In the stomach full of dead fish, he lived for a month as his clothes and hair melted. A month, not knowing when he would be sent to the stomach. And then, some fishermen killed the whale. And when they were cutting it apart, a smooth and slimy human came out of the stomach like an alien.

――Yeah. It's a tragic story, but this is just as bad.

"――――――――Oh." Why are they alive? Every corpse is deformed and they lack too many of the human characteristics. No limbs. Those that have had them cut off. Those that have had the ends decomposed, leaving only the bone. Those who are ground down in the cracks in the floor. Those who have become homes to bugs, splattered on the walls. No matter how they came to be that way, they have no limbs remaining, and all of them are worn-out like rotten trees.

"――――――" I don't even need to know why. The corpses are being eaten by the coffin. I don't know how it works. It's just that the corpses are stuck to the coffin, and the coffin is sucking nutrition out of the corpses.

――The flow of life. The coffin is sucking up magical energy… no, something close to the soul. Slowly. So not to kill the ones it leeches off, and so as not to allow them to live.

…The sound of the wind that sounds like sobbing. It seems like screams coming out of the corpses' mouths. Their throats have already decayed and they cannot let out voices. It has already become just an organ to keep them alive.

But still, the corpses are crying out. In an almost inaudible voice, they scream with all their might. ――It must be the pain and the fear. They continue screaming, unable to stand losing their form and being eaten alive.

"[block len=9]" I hear a sound. The coffin in front of me gasps. Drooling. An eye drops off as it turns its neck towards me. But still――it stares directly at me.

"――――――――" The swollen lips move a little. It speaks in a voice that's not even a voice, Where am I? And asks me that question.

"――――――――" I'm right on the verge of screaming. No, I can't even scream now. Where am I? It doesn't say it hurts nor does it ask for help, but it just says it doesn't understand why it's here.

Is that the reason? He was like that before he realized it? He lived normally, went to sleep naturally, and was gasping here when he woke up? His limbs are already gone, sucked by that coffin, rotting away from the ends, unable to move――and he can only believe this is just a bad dream.

"――――――――" I might go insane. From this scene and from this terrible spectacle. But… why… …Why do I recognize them?

I have never seen them, but I recognize every one of the corpses. This is the first time I've seen them. They are people I shouldn't know. They are people unrelated to me. But… Why are they… (As if knowing me) …Staring at me――?

"Ah―――――Ah, ah――" And I have another question. Is it some coincidence, or do the sacrifices have to meet this condition? Why are all the corpses here children of the same age――?

――And then. "Oh――welcome, Emiya Shirou." Suddenly. I'm tapped on the shoulder from behind as if being greeted by a friend.

"―――――!" My body freezes at this sudden event, and I can't even turn around. But I don't even need to turn around to tell who the person behind me is. Kotomine Kirei. The priest of this church, the man who made this hell. And――a devil I must not meet more than anything else in this place.

"What awful timing. It was foolish of me to prepare food for you thinking that you would come soon. I was unable to welcome you last time, correct? I thought I was attending to your needs, but it seems we missed each other."

"―――――" I can't talk. The priest's hands are heavy on my shoulders.

"But I cannot approve of trespassing. If you do such things, you will end up seeing things you should not. Such as a truth that might send a relationship back to a blank page."

The priest's voice is more cheerful than I've ever heard it. Kotomine Kirei, standing behind me with his hands on my shoulders, is definitely smiling. "―――――" That's why… I'm frightened.

"What is it, Emiya Shirou? You came to talk, so it does no good for you to stay silent. I'm disappointed. Is this spectacle really so outrageous?"

The priest says inhuman things in a cheerful voice. Does this man not feel anything when faced with this? "Ug―――――" I don't even need to tell him this scene is outrageous――!

"Oh, that is cold of you. It is simple compassion to say that it is not even if you might think it unpleasant. After all, you guys are like brothers and sisters. I do not think they will be saved if you act that way."

"――――Eh?" Just now. What did this man say?

"――What did you say?" "I said that you and these corpses are fellow mates. By whatever means, you all survived that living hell. Even if you have no blood relations, I believe the connection is close to that of brothers and sisters… am I wrong?" "―――――"

I see. That's why I thought I recognized them. This is the continuation of ten years ago, And this place is the continuation of that hospital room.

――My head spins. Children who lost their homes and parents. They were supposed to be sent to an orphanage and stay there until they found someone who would adopt them. But I was adopted by Emiya Kiritsugu before that, and I did not know what happened to them afterward. I avoided thinking about it. The orphanage was the church on top of the hill, and I could have gone there anytime I wanted to.

But still, I hesitated. I felt it wasn't fair for me to get adopted, and then go see children who didn't get adopted. So if I was to meet them, it would be in town. We would meet accidentally, be able to talk normally, and we would be over the fire incident. I was looking forward to such a meeting thinking that we surely would meet as it's such a small town――so why have I not met even one of them?

"―――――Koto… mine…" "That is right, Emiya Shirou. If you had not been taken by Emiya Kiritsugu, you would have been one of them. Do you understand? You alone survived, once again. Everyone around you dies, but you survive. What do you think? Do you not think it is unfair?"

――My pulse returns. My frozen body defrosts in an instant.

"Oh no, I am not criticizing you. It is rather delightful. Emiya Shirou's survival abilities are impressive. Honestly, I did not expect you to remain until the end. "That is why――I have allowed you to be reunited with your brothers and sisters in your final moments."

"――――Y…"

"You really are lucky. I was planning to close this place up after today, so you barely made it. ――Ten years now. I kept them alive to feed the Servant, but it's coming to an end. I cannot hope to extract the same amount of soul as when I started, and there's no more need for food in any case. All that remains now is to kill you and your Servant."

"――YOU…!!!!!!!"

With that word, I break all restraints. I move my body which had been bound. I fling the hands off my shoulders, throw myself forward, and turn to face the priest――!

"Kotomine, you――!" I face him, placing enough distance between us. In that moment. I feel a powerful shock from behind me.

"Ah… Guh?" …That's weird. I can't breathe. A sharp horn is growing out of my chest. The horn looks like the head of a spear. …That's strange. How can a spear be growing out of my chest――

"Oh, I have not yet told you. I shall formally introduce you. This is my Servant." "――――" I turn to look back. There… A blue spearman is standing, piercing my chest.

The lance is pulled out of my chest. At the same time. A sharp pain runs through my head as if to burn my brain.

"Ah――ga, goh…!" …The floor is painted red. I'm lying on the slimy floor. I push on my arms to get up, but my body is too heavy. …I can't move. Not because I'm bound, but because I lack the things people need to move.

"Gi――! Tu, ha――!" The pain in my chest exceeds the blood loss's power to drive me unconscious. I can't pass out. I've taken fatal wounds several times before. They were all so bad that they even numbed my senses. But this is different. It's a fatal wound, but the pain is too real.

"Haa――ah, ah, gu――!" My vision spins. As soon as I black out from the pain, I'm awoken by the next pain. I can't feel my limbs. I can't even tell where I am. All I feel are pain, nausea, and the temptation that it would feel so good to just disappear.

"You did not kill him, right, Lancer? If you did, there was no point in keeping him alive until now." I can only hear voices. I have my eyes open, but I can't see anything.

"――I'll follow your orders. Even if they're disgusting ones." Lancer's voice shows no emotion. But I can barely hear it now.

"Fine. Then we shall prepare now. The Servant will know of the Master's danger. It should be about half an hour until Saber gets here." "Kotomine. This kid won't make it that long. You should at least stop his blood loss if you want him alive until then." "No need. I do not care if he dies."

…My mind starts to pass out. Pain finally overcomes my brain and allows me to faint.

"Agh, uh――!" I stop that by digging into my wound. ――The pain starts again. My fainting mind returns to the burning world again.

I want to die. I want to die right now if this pain's going to continue. I know that. I know that, but if I faint here, I also know that I'll die.

I can't even remember what I'm doing now. I feel like I'm floating in this white, burning pain. "Hah――Sa… ber――" But I grit my teeth and hold on to my disappearing consciousness.

――I can't let it end here. I can't retire so easily. I still have a promise I haven't kept. If I believe she is more important than anyone… I can't just disappear here――

When she wakes up, Shirou cannot be found. She thought he might be preparing a late lunch, so she makes her way to the living room, but she can find neither Shirou nor any lunch.

"…He has gone out alone again? I told him to tell me if he does so. Why does he not listen to me?" She complains to herself and sits by the porch.

"…Honestly. I know he likes to walk alone, but that takes away the whole meaning of our cooperation." She swings her legs, not knowing what to do. She soon loses interest in that and looks up as if pondering.

The whole sky is shaded in gray. The canopy of clouds is drifting slowly and an opening can be seen in the distant sky. It should be a clear sky tonight. Once the stars can be seen, tomorrow can be predicted. She still remembers how to read the stars, something she learned from her magus.

She only used it to ask if her way was right, but she thinks about predicting a certain person's future, just for tonight. And if possible, a bright future. She wants to predict the dangers ahead and guide him in the proper direction. The one she worries about is so reckless that she cannot sleep unless she does so.

"――Well. The problem is the stars that can be seen from this town…" Come to think of it, she has never looked up at the sky until this day. All she cared about was winning the Holy Grail War, and not reading stars for someone else. She knows it's not like her. But she still tries to read the stars, and she waits for nightfall to come. …Honestly, this is a big change in her thinking. She continues to stare at the sky, thinking it's just like the young girls in love she has read about in stories.

"Oh, Saber. Do you know where Shirou went?" "――!" Then. Suddenly, Tohsaka Rin appears.

"R-Rin…!" She gets up like a robot. "W-What is it? I-It is not like I am surrendering to Shirou…!" She says so with a red face. "Oh? Was I interrupting you?" Rin smiles in an evil manner.

She's living under the same roof, but even without that, Emiya Shirou and Saber's reactions are easy to understand. She's sharp when it comes to others, so she already knows about them. So of course, she's aware of what happened last night. No. They were in the same bed when she went to wake them up, so it was pretty obvious.

"――Well, I'll make fun of you later. Seriously, do you know where Shirou is? I was thinking about asking for his help since Ilya's fever seems to be rising." "Ilyasviel…? Did she not recover?"

"…No. I didn't tell Shirou, but she's almost at her limit. She won't be back to normal until the ritual of the Holy Grail War ends. Her capacity is extraordinary, but it's still filling up. There's still a bit of capacity left, so unimportant functions are still working. But once it's full, she will have to discard her least important function, which is her ability to be human. Ilyasviel is made to break down more and more as the Holy Grail War progresses." Rin speaks annoyingly, but Saber does not understand what she is trying to say.

"――Oh, it's fine. I said it in a way you wouldn't understand. Let's put Ilya aside for now. It's about Lancer. I found out who his Master is." "…! Lancer's Master has been identified?" "Yeah, well… I found out, or more like I knew it…. Lancer's Master was a foreigner dispatched by the Magic Association. I already knew that and I finally found her secret base earlier, but…"

"Rin. You should avoid such dangerous activities. If you found their base, you should have told me." "I was going to. But it seemed strange from the outside. I went in thinking it was empty. All I found were traces of blood and a left arm with no Command Spell. There was nothing else. I think the arm was cut off, but based on how much blood there was, I don't think the Master's alive. …Lancer's Master is already dead."

"――? Then Lancer does not exist anymore? They were defeated by another Servant after Shirou was attacked ten days ago?" "…I wish that's the case, but the bloodstains were older than that. Do you know what that means…?"

"――The Servant was not killed, and the Master was killed first. So a Master took the arm…. the Command Spell, and formed a contract with Lancer? But――"

"Shirou and I are the only remaining Masters, right? But Lancer still remains. Then that means a magus who's not a Master became one after stealing the Command Spell… but is that even possible, Saber?" "No. The transfer of the Command Spell can only be between Masters and Servants. No matter how superior the magus, he cannot become a Master by stealing the Command Spell."

"…I see. Then, one more question. Is a Master still a Master if they have their Command Spell and their Servant, even after the Holy Grail disappears?" "Eh… i-it is just as you say. As long as the Command Spell and the Servant remain, that magus retains the rights of a Master even after the Holy Grail War――"

Saber realizes the meaning of Rin's question and swallows her words. "Then you think that… the one who killed Lancer's Master and formed a contract with Lancer is…" "…Yeah. I can't think of anything else. In that case, Lancer's actions make sense. He seemed like his role was to inspect other Servants, right? Usually, they expose their true identity when they fight, but he wasn't even hiding his. So that must mean he was only there to collect information."

"――I feel the same way. He did not fight to the end even when he fought with me. Once they have used a Noble Phantasm, it should be a rule for the Servant to kill their enemy."

"Right. So Lancer's Master has another Servant. He collected information using Lancer and attacks with this other unknown Servant. It's a great strategy. …Well, I'm sure it was a pain for Lancer. He had to fight six Servants, study their techniques, and return to his Master. Fighting all six Servants to a draw… he's quite outrageous in a way."

Rin grows quiet and ponders. Did she follow suit? "―――――" Saber feels a chill for no reason. Lancer's Master has already been killed. An unknown Master who uses a heroic spirit of that degree just to collect information.

…And as the Master planned, the only Servants remaining are Lancer and Saber. If the enemy is such a person, is it not dangerous to leave Shirou by himself even during daytime? There were several enemies before. But there are no other enemies now. If they only have to defeat Shirou, the enemy might not follow their previous plan――

"Rin. Do you know where Shirou would be?" Once she starts thinking like that, it will not stop. She cannot leave Shirou alone. Even now, Shirou might be in a danger.

"…Eh? …Hmm, I don't know. I asked you because I didn't know, but he might be at Kirei's. He went off to talk to him before too." "To that church――?" "Hm? What's wrong, Saber? Do you have something against that church?" "…No. It is not that, but…"

That church is not a holy place. It is stagnated with death to the same level as the Ryudou Temple. The instant she regrets that Shirou might be there by himself… A vision of some other place pops into her head.

"――――" ――She glares into the distance. She looks in one direction, towards Kotomine church on top of the hill. There is no time. Saber leaps out to the yard and jumps onto the wall.

"H-Hey, Saber! What are you doing…!?" "――I am going to the church. Please take care of this place, Rin." Without even turning to Rin, she jumps off. She runs like a bullet.

"――" She reaches the place without stopping or slowing down. If anybody saw her, it would have just looked like a sudden gust of wind. The wind is clad in silver and blue armor. Saber is armed as soon as she sees the enemy's territory.

"―――――" She did not intend to arm herself. She had decided to arm herself once she entered the church. But she could not help it. As soon as she saw the church, her mind burned up and made her arm herself.

――Her chest is burning. The nausea that has been assaulting her is not hers. It is the chill coming from her Master, a hopeless scent of death. She does not know what is going on. The only sure thing is that Emiya Shirou is on the verge of death.

And there is no time. His wound could cause him to die at any second. That pain and the chill going around her body cause a sickening nausea. It is less than a thousandth of the pain Emiya Shirou is feeling. But she still cannot stop her nausea. Her Master is wounded that badly.

…He will not live. She will not make it even if she rushes with godspeed. He is dying right now, and she might lose her Master in front of her eyes――

The instant she imagines that, her rationality vanishes. She just has to rush to her master as fast as possible. If godspeed is not fast enough, she just has to break through the reason of God. And fortunately, this is God's house and her enemy is God's messenger.

"――――――――" Her angry glare stares down the church. She crashes through the door and enters the chapel. She does not see the chairs. She ignores the path, goes through the chapel, through the courtyard, and down the stairs leading underground.

――All that's left are the demolished walls and floor of the church. Incidentally, she is not that violent. She tried to open the door softly and did not put that much magical energy into her legs when she kicked off the ground. She merely could not control them. She goes down the stairs and reaches the underground temple.

――The sense of death is near. Actually seeing it, her anger goes over the limit. Anger toward herself and anger toward the enemy who did such a thing. "――Yo. I'm sorry, but this is it, Saber." She cannot even hear the voice of Lancer blocking her way. She is straining at her limits, and it seems she cannot loosen up no matter what happens.

Her master is down in the darkness. In the back room. In the middle of the room full of live corpses, he is on his stomach. …Blood is pouring out of him, and his gasping can be heard even in this temple. ――He is alive. All the while she is relieved, she shakes from having left him for so long in that state.

"Shirou――――" Saber heads to the back room. But there's a guard in front of it. Holding his lance behind him, the blue spearman looks at Saber with fearless eyes.

"Yo. I'm sorry, but this is it, Saber." "―――――" She does not hear his voice. So she does not stop. "…! You! Ignoring me, huh…!?" It is as one would expect from him to block it while he was talking. Lancer blocks Saber's surprise attack, but could not defeat its power as he retreats to the wall.

"―――――" But that makes the hindrance go away. There is no time to fight Lancer now. She has to save her master who is on the verge of death.

"Heh, is that kid that important to you? I don't mind――but in that case, you really can't leave me alone." Saber stops at the entrance.

"――What do you mean by that, Lancer?" "Well. I'm the one that stabbed him, but this is actually the second time I did it. He stayed alive the last time I did for some reason, so I 'pierced' him for sure this time."

"You――You used Gae Bolg on Shirou…!?" "Don't worry. I didn't hit his heart. But the curse is still there. ――Even you should know the curse of this lance. This is the 'lance of cause and effect', that reverses the cause and the effect. The one cursed by this thing cannot change their fate unless they have great luck."

"To put it simply, the wound made by the Gae Bolg cannot be healed. The one cursed cannot heal and bears the wound until they die. ――As long as this lance exists."

That changes the air. Saber's eyes finally regain intelligence. "――Ha. You finally understand? You want to save that kid, right? Then you'll have to settle your match with me first." Lancer's beast-like killing intent comes at Saber. It is true that Lancer is serious. But――

"Are you insane, Lancer? A lancer would fight a swordsman in this small room? I cannot believe such a foolish idea would come from you. …I shall let you go if you leave now. Leave that lance and disappear. I do not want to slay you in such an undesirable battle."

"Isn't that a more foolish idea? What kind of heroic spirit would discard their partner? I didn't pierce him to make some kind of a deal. ――I'm here to fight you, Saber."

There is no dishonesty in his words. Lancer does not intend to let either of them leave here alive. For him, this is the first and last battle where he can go full strength.

Lancer's wish is not for the Holy Grail. He wishes only for battles appropriate to heroic spirits. Such a simple wish that should have been easily granted to a normal Servant was never granted him until now. Therefore――he has no intention of losing out on what might be his last chance. Even if it happens to be an unfavorable situation for him.

"――All right. Then I shall just slash away that lance along with you." Saber readies her invisible sword and faces the blue knight. "Well said. To be honest, I'm glad you're the one that's left, Saber…!"

Lancer's lance runs like a flash of light. Saber confronts it straight on. The rematch begins with both of them executing powerful blows.

'It hurts it hurts it hurts it hurts'

"Ah――haa, haa, haa, ah――" All I can hear is my own breathing now. I might have a fever that could burn someone to ashes, as it feels like my brain is already melting and pouring out of my ears.

'Stop stop stop stop'

"Ha――Haa, ah, haa, ha, ah――" Something's wrong. I don't have a brain anymore, but my body still keeps telling me about the pain and my head accepts it.

'Help help help help'

"Ah――, haa, ah, haa, ha, ha――" My head isn't the only thing that's empty. I don't know where my heart or stomach are either. The nausea is unbearable. There's nothing left to throw up, but the nausea increases without limit. I endure the infinite repetition with gritted teeth. …I can stay conscious. It's my pain, so only I have to endure it. There's no problem there.

'Give it back give it back give it back give it back'

"Ha――ah, ah, haa, ha, ah――" So, the problem is the voices. My head is empty and I can only hear my breathing, but these voices still echo in my head. I don't even need to think whose voices they are.

'It hurts it hurts it hurts it hurts'

"Ha――aah, haa, ah, ah――" I'm going mad. Every time I hear their voices, I'm stabbed in the chest. It's not scary. I just don't have any way to atone to them.

'Hey hey hey hey'

"Aah――ah, haa, haa, ah――" No matter how much they beg for help and no matter how much I want to help them, I can't help them. I won't ask them to stop calling to me. It's just that no matter how much they call, I can't help them. ――That's why… I think I'll go crazy if this continues.

'Return it return it return it return it'

"――haa, ah, ah, guh――!" No matter how much they ask, I cannot assent. All I can do is to end it for them. I can only fix the contradiction of the living dead. I can only make the creator of this hell atone for his sins. I… …Can't take back any sad events or miserable deaths.

――That's my limit. A superhero only exists to straighten out what has already happened. …Who was it that said that? Since I denied those words, I am being cornered right now.

To be honest, I want to run away. I have no way to save them. I can only listen to them. I have no miracle to grant them. I don't have enough power to deny his claim that a superhero is only so strong. …Then, if… If I had a miracle that could save them, would I use it――?

"――She is here. Wake up, Emiya Shirou. Your Servant has arrived." …I hear a voice. It's coming from right behind me. But I can't hear what it's saying.

…My vision is blurry. There's nothing in front of me. All I sense are the voices asking for help and the figures that are already dead.

"…Hm. He is doing well, but he cannot match Saber as I expected. I need one more Servant either way. I do not care whether that happens to be Saber or Lancer――but I shall make a selection before that."

…I can't hear anything. But this man's voice echoes in my head.

"Well, it is time for your turn. Let us go, Emiya Shirou." ――My head is lifted. The man grabs my head and pulls me forward.

――That lets me feel the man behind me. The man has swallowed black corruption. His heart is black and it seems like he's surrounded by an unknown darkness. The black corruption reaches in from the outside world, and it's like a chain binding the man.

"―――――" I don't know what it means. Only one thing is clear. This man――Kotomine Kirei was just like me. His body had some kind of fatal wound, and he is compensating for it with that unknown "something". As I heal using Saber's powers… Kotomine Kirei is maintaining his corpse-like body with this black corruption――

"That is it, Saber. Lower your sword if you wish to save your master." …What is going on? My vision is still blurry and I cannot even raise my head.

"You too, Lancer. We are partners seeking the Holy Grail after all. We should not kill each other so recklessly. If Saber only came to pick this man up, I will gladly let her do so." A gloomy laugh.

"――Do you think I would believe those words coming from one who has killed Lancer's Master and is about to kill my Master as well?" …Who is he talking to? I can't hear the voice, but the sound rings through my fainting mind like a bell.

"Trust me. I do not wish to fight you. Things have turned out like this, but I will not interrupt you if you wish to seek the Holy Grail. From the beginning, my role is to determine the possessor of the Holy Grail. You two are more than qualified. Therefore, if you wish, I could give you the Holy Grail right here."

"――! Are you saying the Holy Grail is here?" "It is here. The Holy Grail exists everywhere. It is a shapeless vessel to begin with. Its completion depends on when, where, and what it is summoned in. This church is sufficient just to summon it."

"Of course, the Holy Grail is incomplete if there is more than one Servant remaining, but it should still be able to grant most wishes. If that is not sufficient for you, then you may continue fighting. I do not want that, but I shall accompany you if you choose so. Is that fine with you, Lancer?"

"…It's not. We don't need to go so far. We could decide the match right now if we wanted to." "In this situation? You are at a disadvantage in this room and Saber would not be able to fight if she is concerned for her master. I do not think this would be a satisfying battle for you."

A spitting sound. It seems the man has reluctantly agreed.

"…Fine, then let me ask you one thing. What is the Holy Grail? Isn't it not meant to appear until there's only one of us left? Did the thing that summoned us trick us from the beginning?"

"No, it is true. The Holy Grail will not appear until there is only one Servant left. But――the vessel in which the Holy Grail will appear is a different story. That is prepared with a shape from the start, and power flows into it until the Holy Grail is summoned."

"Since only two Servants remain, it should begin to acquire power as the Holy Grail. Is that not correct, Saber? You remained to the end in the previous war. You should understand what the 'Holy Grail' summoned in this land is."

"―――――" "Yes, the Holy Grail is always here and waits to be filled with the blood of the sacrifices. But do you not think that is sad? You do not need to wait until only one remains. It should be possible to grant your wishes right now. So there is no meaning in killing each other right here."

"…Yes. Your opinion is certainly correct. But then, who are you? Is your objective not to obtain the Holy Grail?"

"I told you that I am the selector. If an appropriate person exists, I shall gladly give out the Holy Grail. For that――I wish to hear from you, Emiya Shirou."

My body moves. My head is grabbed and my body is lifted. It… hurts. The wound in my chest opens up. The pain makes my vision go white.

"You――!" "Do not worry. I only wish to hear his answer. The Holy Grail only answers those who wish for it. It must interest you whether your Master is appropriate for the Holy Grail or not."

"――That is useless. Shirou does not seek the Holy Grail. My Master is not as lowly as you."

"Yes, he said so at the start. ――But that will not be his true opinion. As every man has his darkness, this man also has a dark side. For instance, did this boy truly curse nothing on that day ten years ago? Is he not shaking it off by forgetting what lay ahead?"

――. Hold on. What's he saying? The fire ten years ago has nothing to do with this. This is meaningless. Nothing should come out of it.

"I will open your wound. It is time for your confession, Emiya Shirou."

My back arches. My mind reverses like electricity is running through it. ――In place of my fading mind, a red vision appears.

Stop. Stop. Stop. Stop. Stop. Stop. Stop, stop, stop, stop, stopstopstopstopstopstopstopstop…!!!! There's no meaning in this. No one will be saved if I remember this now――!

Everybody died. Everyone was dead. I was the only one wandering through the fire. The houses had burned down with burned up corpses under them, and sounds of crying came from all around. ―――――

'It hurts it hurts it hurts it hurts'

I walked alone. I sought help and I wanted someone to save me, so I kept walking, not looking to the side. ――Stop. All the while. How could I think that no one was asking for help from me, when I could still move? ――Stop.

'Help help help help'

Yeah, I noticed. There's no way I couldn't have noticed…! I walked though it all.

I ignored the voices sobbing in pain. I ignored the voices going mad trying to escape. I ignored the screams of those not wanting to die. I ignored the pleas of mothers wanting me to take their children.

I even ignored the dying eyes that could not ask for help. I kept walking, only seeking help for myself――!

'Wait wait wait wait'

I was tired of looking at corpses. I was already tired of seeing people die in pain. I thought I couldn't save them. I thought they would die no matter what I did. That's why I never stopped. ――Stop.

'Give it back give it back give it back give it back'

I thought I had to live even a second longer because I had to go that far. If there were people who died without being able to do anything, As long as I could do something, I thought I had to live. ――Stop.

But my heart was almost crushed. I held back my tears and walked on in search of an escape. It was hard to live on while ignoring the pleas for help. I knew… It would be easier if I apologized, so I never apologized.

I believed… …That would be my only sincerity, as I could not do anything. ――Stop.

'It hurts it hurts it hurts it hurts'

…And as I wished, I alone was saved. The only ones at the hospital were children unfortunate enough to be in areas near where the fire occurred. I didn't want to know about it, but the man in the white coat told me. In that area. I was the only survivor. ――Stop already.

I saw people dying in pain. I saw just as many sad people. Because there was a funeral for all those who died in a big building. Every kind of sadness and affection for those that died. I thought that… ――Just stop.

'Hey hey hey hey'

I had to remember every single bit of it. It's only natural. That many people wanted to be helped, and not one of them had their wish granted. So――since my wish was granted, I thought it was only natural for me to take on their deaths.

No. I could not hold my head up unless I thought so. ――No more…

'Give it back give it back give it back give it back'

That's why I frantically chased after Kiritsugu. For those I couldn't save and for the things I couldn't do, I admired a superhero who could save someone. What was me crumbled away as I ignored the pleas for help. I kept moving forward with an empty mind. ――No more.

'Please please please please……!'

The people I didn't save taught me that I had to go on.

…What was lost within all that? I just thought about going forward in place of all the people that died. I couldn't think of anything else. I sealed any memories before that so that I would never think about them.

People kinder than anyone else. Memories of those who were my parents. So as not to recall them and go back… …I sealed them tight, thinking I was already dead. ――Don't open it.

It's not painful. Emiya Shirou was happy, being adopted by Emiya Kiritsugu. So――

"――So… "You have never thought it was a mistake?"

I'm telling you, don't open that――!

"――!" Pain. The pain in my chest pulls me back to reality.

"Ha――ah, gu――!" My nausea doesn't stop. My limbs are numb, and my head is burning. My breathing is ragged.

'Return it return it return it return it'

Their voices are echoing in my head.

"Ha――guh…!" …I throw up blood. Is it because my body is dying or because I cannot endure those voices? My chest hurts. My chest hurts. My chest hurts. I can't plug it even if I try. What hurts is the pain inside. It will keep hurting as long as the memory is there, and it will never heal.

"――" Is it an illusion? I see a figure that should not be here. "――! Guh――!" So, I have to bear this. I can't think about wanting to die. If she is here even in illusion――I have to act like I'm all right――

"――It is a deep wound. It will be painful if it is not healed. You should not end your life bearing that." I hear the priest's voice. The voice is totally unlike him, filled with compassion.

"You said you do not need the Holy Grail. …But is that true? If you can redo what happened ten years ago, will you not seek the Holy Grail? You can save everything that was lost in that incident. You can eliminate that disaster, not associate yourself with Emiya Kiritsugu, and be your true self. Is that not the only way to save yourself?"

Redo the incident ten years ago…? Redo myself who survived by not saving anyone? No, more than that, if I could make that incident as if it never happened so that no one would be hurt――

"―――――Why…" I shake my head. I reject that vision with my burning head. I spit at my own weakness. Because――

'It hurts it hurts it hurts it hurts'

…I hear their voices. My fingers feel the wet floor. …Help. They all want to go back to that day.

"―――――" …Yeah. I wanted that too, though it can't have been as bad as you guys. Even after Kiritsugu adopted me. I went to the burned field often to look at the scenery. I went to the place where nothing remained, opened the door that didn't exist, walked through the hallway that didn't exist, and smiled at my mother who wasn't there anymore.

…I wanted to return to the days before it happened. I awaited the day when I would wake from this bad dream. That didn't happen and I accepted reality. But if I could obtain a world where it didn't happen and where nobody got hurt, that would certainly be――

"Now, answer. If you wish for it, I shall give you the Holy Grail." The priest with the Holy Grail says so.

'Return it return it return it return it'

If I wish, these voices will go away. Orphans like me. If fate had taken a slight turn, I would be there as well. So I don't even need to think about this. I don't need… to think about it, so why…?

"――I don't need it. I can't wish for such a thing."

I stare straight at the dead corpses. And I reject them.

――That is my answer. It doesn't matter what the Holy Grail is. I can't wish to regenerate the dead nor to change the past.

"…Right, you… can't redo the past. The dead won't come back. What's done cannot be redone. I can't wish for such a thing."

My cheeks are hot. Every time I say such a miracle is impossible, tears pour out from vexation. I wonder why 'miracles' wishing for such normal happiness are too much for people.

"The Holy Grail makes that possible. Everything will be as you wish." The priest says so. But I can't agree.

Even if I could redo the past, I must not take back what has already happened. Because if I do that, everything would be a lie. Those tears. Those pains. Those memories. ――That cold reality that hurts my heart, all of it.

There were people who died in pain. There were people who risked their lives to save others. There were people who mourned for the deaths. But then, if everything were taken back and it did not happen, where would all of those go?

The dead people would not come back. Reality cannot be overturned. To continue on remembering the pain and the weight… isn't that how lost things remain?

…People will eventually die, and death itself is sad. But pain shouldn't be the only thing that remains. A death is painful, but it also leaves behind bright memories. As I am bound by these people's deaths… As I am protected by my memories of Kiritsugu… I believe memories become constraints and change the people living now.

…Even if… They are memories that will eventually be forgotten.

"――This path… I don't believe it's the wrong one." "――I see. Then you…" "I don't need the Holy Grail. I can't stray from my path for the people I've left behind."

I declare so within my pain. I control the pain and my fading consciousness, and manage to stay up on my knees.

Then, I finally realize. …I can't hear the voices. The voices aren't echoing anymore. …I don't know how they took my answer.

But it is sad that they closed their eyes without a single grudge.

――That is… The answer her Master arrived at.

"―――――" The anger she bore until just a moment ago has disappeared. She is at a loss for words, staring at her Master.

'This path… I don't believe it's the wrong one.'

With his bloody body. With his ragged breath. Controlling his tears.

'――I can't stray from my path for the people I've left behind.'

He has apologized to everything he has stepped on, but he still declares that he will not change his path.

"―――――" Her vision wavers. She cannot breathe right either. She knew of his past. As Emiya Shirou has seen Saber's past, she has also seen his.

That is why she thought he would nod. No, she thought he had to nod. She wanted to say that it was not his fault. If he could hear, she wanted to say that it is not something Emiya Shirou should be burdened with.

But still, he denied it. No matter how painful the past, …One cannot redo it.

"―――――" She almost collapses. …Those words are too heavy for her. Making an oath and devoting everything you have to its accomplishment. She had felt that their ways were similar. But that was just conceit.

――Only she thought they were similar. They could not be similar. His mind is strong. And she, only able to deny his words, was wrong――

"――So, you choose your wishes over your savior." The priest lets go of the boy. He looks down at him in annoyance and walks past him as if he's lost all interest in him.

"――Then, how about you, Saber? That kid says he does not need the Holy Grail. But you must have a different opinion. Your goal is to use the Holy Grail to save the world. Do not tell me a heroic spirit like you will be as egotistical as that kid." Her heart is shaken by his question. The priest says he will give the Holy Grail. He will give her the Holy Grail if she has a goal and a wish she wants granted.

"Th――That… is…" There is no reason to refuse. She fought for that alone. She became a Servant for that reason alone. So――what Shirou said does not matter to her.

To obtain the Holy Grail, Saber―― "Then, I shall propose an exchange. Saber. Kill your Master with your own hands to achieve your goal. I shall give you the Holy Grail if you accomplish that." ――She would do anything.

"Eh―――――?" It is an unexpected proposal. She cannot understand it. It's not that she cannot understand his words, but such a choice has never existed for her.

"What? You should not hesitate. You can kill this kid before he realizes it. …First of all, he cannot be saved. Would it not be compassionate to kill him right now?" The priest steps aside. Before her is the door leading to the underground cemetery and a collapsed figure.

"Ah――Ah." She walks, as if drawn to it. She walks past the priest and enters the damp room.

"―――――" …This room is hell. He writhed in this place, and he was shown his dark side. And yet――he declined the priest's offer. "―――――" She places her hands on her sword. At her feet is her Master, breathing painfully.

"―――――" The end of a long journey. The Holy Grail she desired at the cost of her life. It will be granted just by swinging her sword down. After all, a Master and the Servant cooperate only until they obtain the Holy Grail. Even if it ends here――

"What is it? Why do you hesitate? It is for the Holy Grail.[vr] I believe it is quite a bargain." The priest's words are true. It is strange to hesitate now. But still… '――This path… I don't believe it's the wrong one.'[l] Those words will not leave her.

"I――I…" …It is vexing, but she isn't like Shirou. She wants to redo everything. On that day. There was someone better suited to become king, someone else to pull out the sword. And that person must have been able to build a more peaceful country――

That is her heart that holds her country dear. That is the doubt of the girl Arturia before she became a king. That mind… The mind she left behind on the day she drew the sword. "―――――" …Why did she not realize it before?

'――I can't stray from my path for the people I've left behind――'

That is her heart that holds her country dear. It is the mind of a girl before she became a king. But it is not the heart of the king. The only one the king believed in was herself. To deny that would be to deny everything she has taken away. ――Things lost will never return… Her master continued to appeal in his pain.

"―――――" His figure hurts her so much. What did she tell him? That she could not start a new life. She continued to refuse him, saying that she had a duty as the king.

What duty is that? To resurrect the destroyed country? To choose a more appropriate king? Or――does she only wish to make that destruction never have happened?

"――That is wrong." Yes, that is wrong. She was raised and lived as a king. There was no mistake. So――if the result was ruin, why could she not accept it? There are no regrets. If one can be proud of one's life, one should not wish for another chance.

"――I see now, Shirou." Shirou's lamentations pierce her heart. He said that the tears would go away. That the pain would go away. That the heaviness in her heart would go away as well… That is salvation by elimination. But… If everything were made to never have happened, what would happen to all the things taken away?

She has taken away many things and killed many. To bear the pain and regret it is the requiem. So if she wishes for another chance, it should be from this moment on and not from the past. If there is something she could not do… She should not go back to the past to accomplish it. But rather, she must start to establish the wishes that never came true from this moment on.

"―――――" But she is no longer a king as she has lost her country. So her wish should be for herself as he says――

――No. That is not something that should be wished for. It was her decision to become king. It was never painful for her. Even if no one understood or accepted her. She believes that what she desired was something she can be proud of. At the least. The girl pulled the sword out believing so.

――That is the answer. Just like him, that is the only answer she can be proud of.

"Yes――" …She remembers the oath that she made a long time ago. Something she has kept to herself. …She decided to fight. Even if it meant losing everything and fighting everything. "――I was the foolish one." The oath of the king to fight even in that condition.

The king protected the country. But the country did not protect the king. That is all. The result was cruel, but if there was nothing to be ashamed of in the process――

"――There was no need to seek it." She swore to accomplish her duties as king. Even if the result was her destruction, she fulfilled that oath until the very end. So――she does not need anything else.

――Yes. She did not want everything. From the beginning, there was only one thing she wanted. She lost many things to obtain it, but there was something she protected until the very end. With that in mind. Let her end the dream that was never granted.

"――I want the Holy Grail. But I cannot kill Shirou." Pointing her sword at her enemy, she says so from the bottom of her heart. "Wh――――at?" "Do you not understand, fool? I said I favor Shirou more than that thing."

…That's why her role is already determined. To be his sword and shield. And so――she cannot hesitate any longer.

"――Are you saying you do not want the Holy Grail?" "I do not wish it if it will dirty me. I already have everything I wanted."

…Yes. Everything was there. Her pride as a knight and her oath as the king. Even the dream the girl Arturia wished for.

I certainly heard those words. The confession of the girl who wished for the Holy Grail. She confessed that she no longer needs such a thing.

"――Sab… er――" Controlling my ragged breath, I call her name. …Even though I can't see her, I can tell she's nearby. The pain is subsiding. I don't know if it's because she's near me, but the wound is starting to heal up.

"…Can you stand, Shirou? Please take my hand if you can." "――Yeah… I can…" I take her hand. ――! My vision recovers. Energy starts to flow into my weak body.

"――Saber… this is…?" "Yes. Even the curse of the Gae Bolg will not be effective against you now. It shall heal completely if you stay by my side. But rather…"

Saber turns to look toward the underground temple. …Beyond the door. At the exit of this room stands the last Master, Kotomine Kirei, and Lancer.

"I see." He observes us as if seeing us for the first time. "You two are boring." He spits this out in an emotionless voice.

"It seems I will have to keep the Holy Grail after all. ――But that will be rather violent. The Holy Grail needs to be complete to grant me my wish. I am sorry, but you must die here, Emiya Shirou."

"――!" I try to stand ready, but my body still won't move. I can barely stand by taking Saber's hand. I can't fight like this and more than anything, I'll be a burden on Saber――

"You are worrying needlessly, Shirou. Please stay here. I shall be able to take on both of them." "Oh, you have a lot of confidence. Do you think it would be wise to run now, Lancer?"

"―――――" Lancer doesn't respond. First of all, Kotomine doesn't sound like he's in danger. He's just saying he's scared of us.

"Kotomine. I shall ask before I defeat you. What are your intentions? What do you wish as the supervisor of the Holy Grail?"

"――Well. To put it simply, I wish for 'entertainment'. But it's not something I need in a hurry. To be frank, I do not have much interest in the Holy Grail. But that matches my tastes. If there are no appropriate owners, I shall take it for the sake of the world."

"Ridiculous. What are you trying to claim, after killing a Master and becoming a Master yourself? You must have intended to obtain the Holy Grail from the beginning."

"――Nonsense, I came by it by chance. I killed Lancer's Master because outside magi are troublesome. I do not want outsiders to discover the true nature of the Holy Grail, so I had the Master leave at an early stage. But it would not have been smart to eliminate the Servant as well. I needed a piece to hasten the fighting, so I just borrowed Lancer's Master's rights as a Master."

Wha――then Kotomine became a Master by killing Lancer's Master…!?

"――I see. I shall not ask any more about yourself. But I will have you fulfill your duty as a supervisor. Where is the vessel? The vessel of the soul of this war?" "What? Do you mean you were hiding it without realizing it?"

He gasps in surprise. But only for an instant. After looking us over with pleasure, he snaps his fingers to bring in the last character.

"Wha――" The two tense up. Hard footsteps descend from above.

"――Well, it probably isn't necessary, but let me introduce him anyway. This is the Servant Archer. He is the heroic spirit that was my partner in the last Holy Grail War." …The golden knight appears. It is Gilgamesh, the king of heroes.

――The atmosphere changes immediately. Gilgamesh, appearing suddenly, crosses the temple and stands by Kotomine.

"――So? What are you going to do now, Kotomine? Are we settling the match with these nuisances here? I don't think this is good directing on your part."

"Do not say that. I was not expecting this either. I shall listen to your complaints later, so forgive me."

"Oh, if you understand, it's fine. But can you not do something about that vulgar man? I might kill him if he glares too much at me."

"――What the hell is this, Kotomine? That man is your Servant…?"

"Oh, I did not explain it to you yet. He is my Servant from the previous war. We shared the same feelings after the last war ended. Since he obeyed me and I prepared sufficient food for him to stay here, we ended up cooperating." "…So that's the reason for that disgusting room. Fine, but why didn't you tell me about it?"

"Do you think there was a need to? Or did you want to cooperate with him on your mission?" "――No way. I'd rather die than cooperate with that guy." "―――――"

…Now, there are three. Lancer is by the stairs, and Gilgamesh is standing in the temple.

"―――――!" There's no way we can win. We can't even match Gilgamesh, and we can't even run away if Lancer's there as well.

"Kotomine, you said you didn't know about him…" "Do not doubt me. I am a priest. I cannot lie." "…! That's not true! You said you couldn't ignore a Servant from the last war…!"

"Yes, I was surprised as well. I ordered Archer to stay here, but he disobeyed and went to attack you. It is only natural for you to discover me if you investigate Archer. Therefore, I had to come up with some sort of a plan. See? I did not lie to you at all."

"…!" I-I'm pissed…! That guy tricked me and I came straight to the enemy's base…!

"――So, you are Archer's Master?" "Correct. This is much like a repeat of ten years ago. Well, I was unable to witness the final moment since Kiritsugu had already defeated me. This will be the second and the last time I shall see you."

"――Answer me. Why does Archer still remain? What caused that fire? Why are you still alive even after being beaten by Kiritsugu…!?" Saber is angry as there's hatred in her voice. A question long unanswered. As if asking about the crime of the disaster ten years ago.

"I do not even need to tell you. Ten years ago――the Holy Grail was incomplete but full, and it was possible to obtain it. I merely touched it. You and Kiritsugu were powerful, so I wished for a diversion to separate you two. But I was surprised by the diversion that occurred."

"―――――" Hold on. Could that be…?

"――Then you caused that fire with the power of the Holy Grail…!?"

"Who knows? I think the Holy Grail would have done the same thing even if I was someone else. It is a thing of that nature. People call it an omnipotent vessel, but only blood, darkness, and curses fill it. You saw it as well, right? The darkness that spilled out from it when you destroyed the Holy Grail. It only spilled onto Archer. Archer would not have lost his way if you had not destroyed the Holy Grail."

"…Nonsense. The Holy Grail is a magical vessel that grants the wishes of its possessor. That fire must have been your wish…!"

"Only the result. The process was not what I had in mind. I only wished for people to be gone from that place. In any case, you lack imagination. Your wishes will be granted? That is fine, but how will your wish be granted? Did you think the world would change the instant you wish?"

"――" "I do not know about the original Holy Grail, but this Holy Grail is merely a vortex of power. It cannot make precise calculations or correct any inconsistencies. It is only pure power. It is like a great weapon. If the possessor wishes for great riches, it will kill everything around it to bring happiness to its possessor."

"Do you understand? That magical vessel is a defective item that can only grant the wishes of its possessor through a method called 'destruction'." "Wha――that is not what was promised…! Is the Holy Grail not something that will grant any wish to its possessor…!?"

"It is. The measures the Holy Grail takes are very reasonable. Letting one person survive means killing another. This world is one of equal exchanges. Wishing for some special event means feeding on something to make it possible. Wishes will not come true if you worry about harmony. It is merely a fluctuation dependant on the plundering of the weak. It is the most efficient fluctuation."

"―――――" …I can understand Saber's surprise. If Kotomine is telling the truth, this Holy Grail is far from the Holy Grail she wished for.

A power that only grants the wish of its possessor. The usurper that grants the wish of its possessor at the cost of everything else. This is the true identity of the omnipotent power given to the Master and the Servant.

"Then――the Holy Grail is…" "A poisoned vessel that eliminates everything but its possessor. You will know when you see it. It is a true curse."

"――And that delights me. Touching the Holy Grail is a dream for a man of the church. But this Holy Grail exists to kill everything, and to be able to control that――it is like a dream."

Saying that, the priest laughs. It's not a polite laugh like before. A laugh from the bottom of his heart… a holy laugh without any evil. ――That laugh forces me to realize. This man is not human. I cannot let him have the Holy Grail over anyone.

"――Then, this is goodbye. Take care of this trash. Lancer, take the boy. Archer, take Saber."

The priest turns his back and goes up the stairs. …The only ones left are me, and the two Servants. And Saber, standing as if to guard me, glaring at her enemies.

――Time passes. We have to defeat Lancer and Gilgamesh to escape outside. It's impossible to beat them. We have to do something and regroup, but――

"――Shirou" Saber mutters while looking at the enemy. "I know I am asking for something impossible, but please stay beside me." She grasps my hand firmly. ――That tells me she's ready.

"――All right. I'll do my best to follow you, so don't worry about me." I nod to her. …I can barely walk right now. Saber and I both know that. With that in mind――Saber has told me she will break through this. So what can I do but nod?

"…Yes. I trust you." She replies in a small voice. "――Now――!" Letting go of my hand, Saber runs to the temple.

The two figures react to her movement. "――!?" "Wha――!?" Only Saber and I are surprised.

――What happened? Lancer's lance that should have attacked me goes for Gilgamesh. Gilgamesh's longsword repels Lancer's lance as if expecting it――

"Sorry, I missed." "I see. Your lance must be pretty light." The two separate without any sign of hostility.

"Your target is that lowlife. You do remember that I'm in charge of Saber, right?" "Oh, that. Sorry, but I changed my mind. He didn't order me with the Command Spell, so I'm not gonna obey him." Saying so. Lancer faces Gilgamesh as if protecting us.

"Wha――Lancer, you are…" "If it's something stupid, don't say it. I'm not helping you or anything. I'm just following my beliefs." Lancer points his lance at Gilgamesh. He really intends to let us go.

"Well, I was at my limit too. I'm not nice enough to listen to his orders when he looks down on me this much. I'm cutting my ties with Kotomine right now." "Oh――you are breaking your contract with him? So you do not mind being eliminated now, even though the Holy Grail is right in front of you?"

"Don't treat me like you. I've never had any interest in a second life. …No, no hero is interested in such a thing. We're not attached to this world. We're just attached to the oaths we couldn't fulfill. Well, I guess a greedy apparition like you wouldn't understand."

"――I see. A man with a brilliant death has something different to say. So this betrayal is a result of your heroic pride as well, huh? Geez, following your beliefs sure is hard, Lancer." …The air behind him distorts. Weapons appear in empty space――

"――" "…Lancer. He has all the original Noble Phantasms. He is the king of heroes with the longest history. Even you cannot take him on head to head――"

"…Damn, I see. No wonder he's so conceited. He's the guy who destroyed his own country by just doing whatever he wanted, so of course he's twisted."

"Lancer, this is no time to be bluffing――!" "Just get lost. Who are you to give me advice? Don't think I'm on your side just because I protected you. …Geez. This is why I don't like well-mannered knights."

Lancer urges Saber to run. "―――――" Saber hangs her head for a second. "…Good luck. I shall return this favor." Taking my hand, she runs to the stairs.

"――Damn, I let them go." Gilgamesh just watches us go, not trying to follow us.

"…Oh? So Saber wasn't your target?" "Well, to be honest, such a match did not suit my taste. If you had not done this, I would have done the same thing."

We go up the stairs. …She must be worried about me as we aren't going up that fast. Ignoring our slow pace, the confrontation underground escalates without limit. The murderous intent continues to grow.

"What do you mean by that? Did you intend to let Saber go as well?"

"Of course. I had no intention to kill Saber. That thing is mine. But――I cannot stay idle if [wrap ʹext="I"]I want the Holy Grail. I need just one more Servant to die for the ritual to be completed."

A thousand swords appear. The golden knight grins. That's why he was able to block Lancer's surprise attack. Lancer wasn't the only one trying to launch a surprise attack on his ally.

"Damn――so this was your plan all along." "I told you. I would have done the same thing if you had not done so. You deserve praise, Cu Chulainn. This situation is ideal for me." The distance between the two decreases. Before I see them clash, we leave that place.

"――Ugh." I stop. My body tells me I'm at my limit.

"Let us rest here, Shirou. You cannot continue in your condition." "――Ye… ah. I'm just… causing you trouble… like this…" I move away from Saber and sit down on the grass.

"――!" The wound on my chest is still there. It's stopped bleeding, but the hole is still there.

"…I feel sick…" Even though the pain is gone, I have a hole in my body. Just looking at it makes me sick and I wonder why I'm alive like this.

"Shirou, let me look at your wound." Saber crouches and looks into my chest. …It's a bit embarrassing.

"Uh――no, it's all right…" "Excuse me――this will hurt a bit, but please bear it." Saber's finger runs across my chest. ――Then. I don't know why, but she places her hand over my wound and digs into it――

"Agh――!! ――!!" My body jumps. Saber's hand mercilessly digs into me and―― "You, wha――!?" She's digging into me with her bare hands. It should hurt. It should hurt, but――

"Huh――?" There's no pain. Rather, pain seems to disappear around the places Saber touches.

"I am done, Shirou. I restored magical energy to the sheath, so your wound should heal in half a day." Taking her hand off my chest, Saber looks relieved.

"Sheath――?" I don't understand at all.

"Saber. What do you mean by sheath? I think you mentioned it before, but could it be your sheath?"

Saber's sheath. The sheath of the sword Excalibur. The sheath of her sword is not Invisible Air. In the legend, the sheath of Excalibur was a Noble Phantasm that makes its possessor immortal.

But she shouldn't have that. King Arthur died in the battle of Camlann because that sheath was lost. Saber shouldn't have the sheath right now――

"Yes. My sheath is inside your body. It was my fault for not realizing that fact until last night." "In my body…? What's that supposed to mean? I don't remember anything like that. It's just ridiculous."

"Is that so? It was simple from the beginning. You summoned me, Shirou. It was foolish of me to think it was by chance that I was summoned."

"To summon a heroic spirit, one needs a symbol connected with that spirit. Since you are inexperienced as a magus and uneducated as a Master, you needed a connection that would overcome all those deficiencies. That was my sheath――the lost sheath of Excalibur."

"Uh――well, that may be true… But why would it be in my body?"

"…Kiritsugu probably put it in there. Emiya Kiritsugu used the sheath of Excalibur as the catalyst to summon me in the last war. The sheath is a Noble Phantasm that heals the possessor's wounds. He must have thought that it would be more useful for him to keep it."

"I have healing powers and I do not die easily. If the Master, who dies easily, has the sheath, they have a better chance of surviving the Holy Grail War." "…Then, Father survived the war because he was like me…?"

"Probably. And after the battle and after I disappeared. Kiritsugu wandered through the burned field and found a dying child. He had no healing powers, and even if he did, I assume it was too late. …So I believe there was only one way for him to save that child."

"――――" I unconsciously place my hand on my chest. …On that day ten years ago… I accepted death, looking up at the sky. My whole body was burned, and maybe it really was burned to ashes.

When Kiritsugu found a kid barely alive, he had to rely on what he had on hand. The sheath of the holy sword that protects the life of its possessor. He must have saved that dying life by implanting the sheath.

"…Then, it really is…?" "Yes. It has been disassembled and lacks its original form, but your body certainly contains the sheath. It is the cause of your healing powers."

"――B-But I almost died once. I was pierced by Lancer at school and――" …That's right. Someone saved me at that time. When I came to, there was no one there and all I found was a rock. I took the rock home because I thought it was something important, but is it still at my house right now…?

"That was before we made a contract, correct? The sheath is my Noble Phantasm. It does not exhibit its power as a Noble Phantasm until magical energy is channeled into it. You cannot obtain your immortality unless you make a contract with me."

"…Well, I am sure it will protect the possessor's life if any magical energy is in it, but it will be weak. I am sure fusing with the sheath was the only way to save a dying person."

"…I see. Um… I'm sorry Saber. Your sheath was used for something like this…."

"Please do not say such a thing. You are my Master, so it is only natural for you to use what is mine. And――I was happy when I learned about it. Even though I could not save anybody, I had saved your life."

"―――――!" Her smile is so brilliant that I have to look away.

"――Shirou? Does your wound hurt?" "No, that's not it! Just don't worry about it. There's nothing wrong with you!" I hide my blushing face and shut my mouth. There's no pain if I don't speak, but this is really awkward.

…I wonder how long we've been like this? Just as I start to calm down. Saber quietly says, "Kiritsugu was correct. He did not betray me." She says so as if regretting her past.

"…Saber?" "That Holy Grail was not what I sought. …No, I did not need the Holy Grail to begin with. Kiritsugu must have known that."

…Her murmur sounds more like a confession. Saber apologizes to a person she cannot apologize to anymore. And she looks at me to part with the wish she held for so long. She doesn't say anything. My heart understands just by being beside her.

…Arturia sought the Holy Grail. A lonely king who needed to believe that ruin was avoidable with the Holy Grail. ――If. A girl who wished for what would happen if she could redo the selection.

"Saber, that's…" "…I knew it. I knew I could not redo things. I knew it, but I still continued to deceive myself."

…But this is the end. Her long battle will finally end――

"Thank you, Shirou. I finally understand the path I need to take. …Yes. The Holy Grail and I are just dreams that must not exist."

She murmurs that she would still like to be forgiven. It was a mistaken wish, days that were not to be wished for, but… The weakness was just a passing dream a girl saw.

"――――" What should I feel, listening to her? Saber's answer is beautiful. A decision full of dignity and purity just like her. She is proud of her past and has accepted the end that awaits her. ――And now. Saber has decided to follow her oath until the very end.

"―――――" She doesn't even need to tell me what that means. She will not hesitate any longer. And I find that beautiful. A dark night. From the moment I was captivated by her figure in the moonlight――I have loved her.

So. Regardless of what awaits ahead, there is only one thing to be done.

"――Saber. Let's destroy the Holy Grail." I say so, throwing aside my attachment and my selfishness.

"――Yes. I believed that you would come to that conclusion, Master."

Saber nods in response. …I can't smile back at her. It takes all I have to suppress my heart, telling me I don't want this. But still――there will surely come a day when I can be proud of being trusted like this.

"―――――" I get up. Now that I've decided, there's no time to rest. It's clear what must be done, and the enemy is clear as well.

There's no time to stop. Today. We will end this long battle before tomorrow comes――

With Saber helping me walk, I make it back home. The wound on my chest hasn't healed yet. According to Saber, I should stay still for at least a few more hours.

"―――――" I bite my lip. I hate my body, unable to move when it's clear what needs to be done.

"…Shirou. Were you considering something rash just now?" "Eh――? N-No, I wasn't thinking about anything."

"I will get angry if you push yourself too hard. We will go into battle as soon as your wound heals. ――This will be our last battle, so let us face it in our best condition."

"…Right. We have to prepare and not be impatient." ――Where Kotomine went. How we beat Gilgamesh. There are many things to think about. I have to rest for now and prepare myself for later tonight.

At that instant, my mind stops.

"Eh――?" There's no sign of anyone. The air is different. Amidst the smell of burning, I can also smell the strong scent of blood――

"――" I run. I ignore my wound and run like I'm running away from the bad feeling I have. I run through the hall, turn the corner, and enter the familiar room.

――There. The scene before is me is anything but familiar.

"Toh… saka." My voice shakes. I don't know what happened. All I know is that Tohsaka is looking at me, breathing weakly.

"…Oh. You're home at last… Geez, I was about to go to sleep, you idiot." ――I don't know what she intends. But she's talking to me normally even though she has a wound that should make even talking difficult.

"Hey――don't talk, you idiot…! Damn, I have to stop the bleeding…! Saber, bring me towels, hot water, and a bowl…!" I order Saber in a panic. Saber nods silently and runs to the bathroom.

"――Bandages. Bandages and styptic――no, they won't do. Doctor. I have to get a doctor and do something――!" I pull out the first aid kit still in a panic.

"…No. I've treated my own wound, so I don't need a doctor. There's something more important though, right?" "Wha――" Tohsaka stares at me, breathing hard.

"―――――Tohsaka?" …I don't know what she's on about. But I nod, thinking that I have to listen to her for now.

"…Are you really okay? This is――" "It's fine. I can treat my own wounds. But――I'm sorry. You went off trusting me, but I couldn't protect Ilya."

"Eh――?" That finally calms me down. …Tohsaka is injured. …The living room is destroyed. And… Ilya should be here, but isn't.

"…Kotomine did this?" "―――――" She nods. …I don't even need to ask since he's the only one left.

But only Saber and I knew that Kotomine was our enemy. This must've been a complete surprise attack for Tohsaka. Because the seventh Master happened to be her teacher.

"…Don't apologize. Even you wouldn't be able to do anything if you were suddenly attacked. …In spite of what you said, you trusted Kotomine."

"――Yeah. I guess I was conceited thinking I could do everything myself." She coughs up blood. …Crap. I can't let her talk.

"…Let's talk later. Don't move for now. I'll treat your wounds and let you rest." "――Yeah, please. But I have to tell you something first. …Look, Shirou. This is my last piece of advice, so listen carefully."

"―――――" I don't want to hear words like that. But I nod silently. She's looking at me seriously with that wound of hers. I don't know if anyone would be able to stop her.

"…First. Kotomine's objective was Ilya. He must've known from the beginning that she was the vessel of the Holy Grail." "Wha――Ilya is the Holy Grail……!?"

"…To be more accurate, her heart is. Magi are people with Magic Circuits, but Ilya is a human made from a Magic Circuit. I think she will become the vessel to summon the Holy Grail as soon as there is only one Servant left."

"――Then, Kotomine took Ilya…?" "He took her. But… guh…! As long as Saber is still alive, the path won't open. Kotomine won't try to do anything to her."

"―――――" I can only hope so. Lancer isn't an easy Servant to beat either. He can't match Gilgamesh, but he might be able to at least run away. …I can only hope so. But I can't tell Tohsaka about that right now.

"All right. I'll go save Ilya, so you can depend on me." "…I see. Then, the second thing. I think Kotomine's at the Ryudou Temple. That's the best place to summon the Holy Grail. He'll be out of the church already, so he has to be hiding at that temple."

"――Okay. So Kotomine is at Ryudou Temple, right?" …It must be hard for her even to move her neck now. But Tohsaka gives a slight nod.

"Then this is the last thing. ――You won't be able to beat Kirei. Are you still going to fight him?" The question. This question is not asked as a friend called Tohsaka Rin, but as a magus who understands the situation.

[braindeadcharlotte]

A collection of grimy Transgender poems

cracking dollar store razors in the shower

hands splayed in ecstasy 

while mother is immolated 

and screaming

us against the world and so on

everything feels like plastic razors cracked open these days

all days 

smoke and vapor and ash

a pest rotting in a chrysalis 

a slimy memory in the heads of those who would like to forget

or remember

the hardened chitinous slough that surrounds me wonders which is worse

i don’t

a voice dripping honey whispers to me 

why do you miss hating yourself so much

a dying colony of insects inside my lungs writhe

for a moment my eyes go black

and i am back

in the bathrooms

a choir ive wanted to know spills venom from above

asking why i still want razors

why I’m so fond of a memory

when my arms opened up like zippers 

and revealed secrets to me i still don’t understand

if ive seen God it was then

in holy lacerations 

if i had the guts i would vivisect myself 

and see all of God’s glory before falling from Her prison

i so badly want to know if I’m pretty on the inside

still 

once a smoker always a smoker

she says it’s stupid

but i think about the shower floor all the time

and the school bus in 5th grade

bleeding on a friend’s lunch tray who never liked me anyway

and crying louder than i would’ve like to when I was ready

It is vile how much easier it is to be alone with your hatred

than with a partner cutting it away 

we feel murdered 

we feel more hatred than we ever have

it is seeing red 

while he is seeing nothing at all 

buried deep under the earth, into the pits that fall below

a special level of hell for adults aborted 

if i am to be forcibly cut out

and cleansed of blood and piss and semen

and made real

i hope i come out beautiful

 gut lining

i have memories of lying awake beside a ghost, terrified at her closed eyes and the future

i looked at yours while we blossomed from garbage and carrion 

and my guts lined with

Rage&Nicotine&Vomit&

Disgust&Hatred&Memories&

Regret&Bile&Bathrooms&

Loss&Stares&Betrayal&Hell&

Fathers&Ghosts&Failure&

Mold&Beer&Running&Razors

leave me alone

for a moment

while a new fear grips my stomach and the meat between my ribs

of all the things i deserve, it isn’t this

i don’t deserve meat i deserve more razors

skin sloughs off me like pages

it was never mine to begin with

I’m a spotlight in a home infested with bed bugs and flies

i am filthier than they are in their wettest dreams

they start to feed on scraps of long rotten cuts and its funny!

it is charming and it is growth, it is life and birthday parties and blood

i cannot stand it, it is hard to stand one more moment

one more blistering second of razor sharp memories of a young man in a bedroom, a park,

a shower

brown rot fungi threatens my home

i bathe in boracare and concrobium 

it likes being bleached and shiny and pure

it wants to drink it like an old friend

it wants my insides to be clean 

like all good girls do

sometimes i feel intoxicating 

its not often

I’m learning to be an egotist again

it takes time

to hate oneself for being better than other vermin

submit and break into such tiny pieces inertia has no choice but to intervene

where do you go from here

britney spears is my christ 

and there will be no resurrection

but i hope she takes my eyes and my hair when she falls to the pits

my tribute to a silent shepherd, undeserving of idolization 

razors are still lining my guts

but their stings are loving tonight

i can tell

For her, miss Charlotte

colors i so love elude me

i am transparent

i was the void

and i held adoration in my chest

it bore holes like scabies under the skin

it was hot to bleed the ocean of space

all over everyone i loved

my thoughts can’t shut the fuck up anymore

when my lover sleeps there is nothing to stop them from re-burning 

those familiar circles 

how am i supposed to live like this

a wanderer of memories that feel like an others’

warped scenes of a childhood that couldn’t be mine

shouldn’t be mine

when did i lose the color of a house on fire

is it really better to be the smoke of a gender reveal party before it sets a forest ablaze?

a demon within me says yes

another is waiting for the same black smoke it has always known

i don’t phlebotomize it out under searing water any longer

i beg for it to stop screaming

for it is only screaming into a new void

where nobody that exists can hear

Charlotte isn’t living or dead

she is an idea in a mind that is tired of hating itself

and everything around it

she’s swirling in a toilet bowl

clawing desperately at the edges to keep from being flushed

please, I’m begging, she only looks like shit

i promise you’ll like her if you give her a chance 

she’s sweet and caring

she thinks about what she says, so she doesn’t hurt anyone

she is full of love and fire, she is tall and confident

her lungs are pink and her brain isn’t quite as dead as it feels

nothing is below her

she is the burned remains of a slaughterhouse and the mushrooms are just now moving in

she is a Goddess in her own right, on the precipice of life and death

growing out of a body that has been rotting for 20 years

i want to love her more than i want to cut myself open

she is allowed to grow out of me lethargically 

my bisection is nearly sedate 

for her, miss Charlotte

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

If you have any input at all PLEASE comment, I would love to hear thoughts from fellow transgender people in particular!! Ive never written anything this vulnerable but I still want to share it, something about it makes me feel the need to

tysm for reading!! <3

[chrisitsraining]

i really wanna touch one of the molded from resi 7 idc if theyre icky and nasty looking i wanna know what they feel like

joe calls their bodies hard and their heads soft in his survival manual but that doesnt tell me much

are they mostly spongy and slimy? rough with a weird residue on them?? rubbery???

i think theres gotta be a fleshy quality in some areas especially on those fumer mfers and SPEAKING OF THOSE theyre way more stringy and i bet its like damp fake cobwebs