#i think it's sad that we have to become subservient to their wishes | Explore Tumblr posts and blogs

hageny · 3 years ago

Text

Succession Thoughts: Gerri x Roman

1. Like a normo.

While on the phone with Gerri in Safe Room, Roman tells her he’s going to stick it out in training and “...become a real boy...” and “...have phone sex with my girlfriend like a normo.”. This last bit is interesting because it is a foreshadowing of what happens later in the episode, where Roman calls Tabitha and attempts to talk dirty with her on the phone and ultimately realizes he is unable to connect with her sexually in anyway, which culminates in him simply hanging up on her and realizing the effort was futile. Immediately afterward, he calls Gerri and begins sparring with her and ultimately pleasures himself while she is on the phone with him. Did the earlier mention of “phone sex” only serve to hint at what was to come, or could this be taken apart as well? Firstly, one could consider that Roman mentions being capable of having phone sex with a girlfriend--which would tie into his enjoyment of “wrong” sex--and sees this as something pleasurable, to be enjoyed with the right woman. Tabitha obviously is not that woman, and as mentioned in my previous post, is seen by Roman as nothing more than an object, something he does not connect to. Secondly, one can deduce that Roman and Gerri are already slated to become lovers later in the series, and this season hints heavily at this happening. Roman mentions the ability to have phone sex with a girlfriend, and then does so with Gerri with ease while she happily engages him. As much as Gerri is molding Roman into the man she needs him to be so they can secure their positions at Waystar, Roman is also molding Gerri into the woman he desires. He pushes and prods her and takes her into darker, sexually charged territory to see if she can fulfill his needs. Is Gerri only going along with this to screw Roman later once she achieves her ends, or does she too desire him equally? I hope the latter is true.

2. True essences.

While at the retreat in Argestes, Roman visits Gerri’s room late at night and they discuss their union and how assisting each other will ultimately help them both obtain what they want. Roman refers to them as “Rockstar and Mole Woman”, then quickly dismisses this personification of themselves as being, “our public profiles, not our true essences”. This is interesting because it suggests that this idea of ‘public self and private self’ is part of the core of their relationship. Roman and Gerri both project a facade to those around them: Roman as the womanizing playboy uninterested in power, and Gerri as the indifferent lackey willing to go along with whatever transpires around her. Secretly, however, Roman becomes increasingly interested in obtaining power, and Gerri slowly reveals her discomfort with simply going along with Logan’s ideas. The ease with which Roman both constructs an identity for them and then tears it apart suggests that Roman knows full well that they are playing a game with those around them and that within their relationship there exists a truth of who they individually are that is not seen by others. As the ancient Japanese proverb says:

“The first face, you show to the world. The second face, you show to your close friends, and your family. The third face, you never show anyone.”

How honest will Gerri and Roman ultimately become with one another?

3. CEO & Chair.

Another point of interest is what Roman mentions to Gerri while discussing the idea of a takeover headed by the two of them. He mentions to her that she would be the executive chair and he the CEO, then quickly reverses the scenario placing her in the position of CEO and himself in the position of chair. This is interesting because of how easily Roman is willing to relinquish power to her and play with the idea of himself as CEO or chair and is seemingly fine with both. This serves to highlight that Roman’s need for Gerri on the surface is solely business related, but in reality his interest in her is deep enough that he is willing to accept whichever position she does not want because his ultimate desire is to keep her close to him. What Gerri thinks about all this is hard to say, but it is worth pointing out that she is the one who pushed him to go into management training, and last season went to him immediately after the disastrous shuttle launch, which she knew could potentially have gotten him into serious legal trouble. This is different from how she approaches Tom in Sad Sack Wasp Trap about the issue with the cruises when she realizes he wants to publicly own up to their deceptive practices. She relates the story of the Sin Cake Eater and essentially tells him to “eat the sins” of the corpse and be content with the riches that come along with sin. Later, she passes Greg and tells him “Good kid. Smart move. Keep talking.”, highlighting her ability to manipulate both of them into doing what she wants. This essentially highlights Gerri’s tenacity and willingness to discard those she views as disinteresting to her. It hints at a darker aspect to her character, which equals Roman’s feelings of disgust toward his own family. This loops back around to the CEO and chair mention because it serves to showcase that like those positions in a company, Roman and Gerri operate in tandem with one another and their need for one another is equal.

4. Cellphones at dinner.

I should preface this next analyses by saying that I could be wrong in what I’ve perceived but I’ll mention it anyway in the hopes of sparking some discussion in the comments.

During the dinner in Hunting, Logan demands that all the members of the dinner party place their cellphones on the table in hopes of sussing out who ruined his move to take over PGM. As they are placing their phones on the table, Gerri uncharacteristically challenges Logan, questioning whether such a demand is even legal and why it’s necessary. The fact that this angers her is interesting, because, as we see later on in the season, Gerri and Roman spend quite a bit of time on the phone together. Gerri has nothing else to hide, presumably, so can we deduce that her nervousness is related to her relationship with Roman? Were anyone to look at her phone, it may be difficult for her to explain the frequent contact with him while her contact with the other members of the Roy family is almost always in person in the office. While most of their talks are shown post-Hunting, this could indicate that what we see later on is simply a continuation of something that has been going on for longer than the audience is aware of. This could explain their intimate scene the next morning as she buttons his shirt, and could also relate to their working the proxy deal in Vaulter together. While the audience doesn’t see what all went on during that time, we can assume that their increasing intimacy in later episodes suggests that something inappropriate was happening already.

The screenshot above is crucial, because it contains a detail that I may have misinterpreted, but will touch on now. While the others relinquish their cellphones, we see Roman slide a cellphone off the table to his left and hide it in his lap while he hands over the one located in his back pocket. Logan insists on both company and personal phones, meaning all the characters have two. Roman’s of course is later taken from him by Kendall, and this is where it is revealed that Roman was talking to Naomi Pierce and unintentionally destroyed his father’s business deal. However, which phone did Kendall take from Roman? The one he is filming the boar on the floor game with is a silver phone, the one he is usually seen with in the show, most likely his company phone. Roman hides his (probable) personal phone. If wishing to keep it concealed, it would stand to reason that the phone he used to film the game--which Kendall ultimately snatched from him--is the one he placed on the table, which is where all the phones were left anyway. So is it possible that Roman was more willing to get in trouble for his dealings with Naomi Pierce than relinquish his personal cellphone, which could’ve contained damning evidence of his relationship with Gerri? It’s worth noting that of all the characters at the table, only the two of them protest handing over their phones. If the scene the next morning is any indicator, the intimacy between them was already growing to a point that would make it hard to explain to anyone around them. Gerri was also the only one to slip away from the breakfast room to check on Roman, who once again was forgotten by his family, his absence likely unnoticed by them in the first place. Being unnoticed by those around them is another point of similarity; both Roman and Gerri aren’t referred to or called on unless needed by the others to fulfill their subservient positions, then ultimately discarded until they are needed again. Both of them are underappreciated, underestimated, and presumably bitter. Is what we see all there is to their relationship, or is the truth in the details, hidden in the stitching of the clothing that is the show? As I stated earlier, I could always be wrong.

Thank you to all who have commented and engaged with my posts so far. I hope that I will have material enough to continue to do these, although presumably I’ll run out at some point. Regardless, it’s a pleasure so far.

#gerri/roman #gerri x roman #gerri kellman #roman roy #succession #succession hbo #hbo succession #succession thoughts

86 notes · View notes

solinarimoon · 4 years ago

Text

A Song for the Sea

~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~

Pairing: Finan x OFC

Warnings: some violence, held against their will, forced marriage, hints of abusive relationship

~ ~ ~ ~

Her eyes were like the sea before a storm. Blue and green marbling together. They spoke to him. Of depths hidden under their surface. Of secrets and sadness.

Finan could not keep his eyes from searching for her. He yearned to fall captive to their stare once more.

While walking through the street of Coccham, his eyes were roving every face for a glimpse of those startling eyes.

Osferth at his side, they meandered through the market expecting that they would find them looking to replenish supplies for their journey.

~~~~~

Muireann and her husband, Cael had docked at Coccham a few days prior.

Upon their arrival, Cael asked to speak with the Lord Uhtred. He claimed to be a trader of fur and wished to stay on in the burg a few days while a storm that was following them passed.

He had a large amount of seal skin pelts he was willing to trade for the lord's permission.

Uhtred agreed to allow them safe harbor.

After showing them to the town’s tavern where they could pay for a room for a few nights, Uhtred informed his men that Cael and his wife were to be watched closely. He did not get an honest feeling from them. Sihtric and Osferth both agreed with their lord's appraisal of their new visitors. Finan was glad he was not alone in his judgements either.

Cael had a sly demeanor and Uhtred’s first impression was that he was either a spy (though for whom he did not know) or was looking to cheat the good people of Coccham out of their money. As a young man, Uhtred had experience with men such as these. They were not to be trusted. Several pieces of their story did not sit well with the men. Why was a trader traveling with only himself and his wife? And by boat?

Then there was the fact that Muireann kept her head down and was completely subservient to her husband. Finan knew that many marriages worked in such a fashion but it was not something he ever enjoyed witnessing. He firmly believed marriage should be a partnership. He saw that exemplified in Uhtred and Gisela’s marriage. The same could be said for Sihtric and his wife.

Muireann did not appear to be a threat. Instead, she gave him the feeling that she had something to hide. Some secret kept hidden from the world. This sense became pronounced when Muireann took his outstretched hand to board the dock from their small trading boat.

She had looked up as her feet hit the boards and their eyes locked.

And Finan was lost.

He could become lost in those stormy eyes for eternity and he would not have cared.

She had taken a sharp inhale of breath when their eyes met. Finan knew that she had felt some connection. Some pull. There was a meaning to their meeting on that dock, suspended above the rising waters and murky depths.

“Thank you…” she whispered, leaving her words hanging in the air like mist off the sea.

“Finan. I am called Finan, lady.”

“Finan” She repeated. And he could have listened to her lovely voice speak his name for 1,000 years.

“Muireann!” Cael spoke her name with a harsh bark.

Instantly, Muireann dropped Finan’s gaze and made a hasty apology. She practically ran to her husband’s side as Uhtred escorted them to the tavern.

Finan watched her leave and felt his world shift. He knew something had just changed for him. And Muireann was the cause of that change.

~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~

Back at the market.

It took several more minutes before Osferth and Finan spied Cael and Muireann at a stall on the far end of the market. Close to the harbor. This was likely so they could keep an eye on their boat and it’s content. Muireann’s gaze was constantly shifting to stare across the water. As they approached, Finan watched her. Her eyes continued to return to the water. Her gaze betrayed a sense of yearning.

“Our lord would like it if you and your wife could join us in the hall for supper.” Finan said as he approached Cael. “He knows you’ll be departing soon and wishes to send you off with full bellies.” His Irish brogue lilted.

~~~~~~

The pair had stayed in the village tavern, paying for one of their upstairs rooms. For several nights, a strong storm had indeed blown through the harbor at Coccham. In that time, one or more of Uhtred’s men had staked a claim drinking and cajoling with the other tavern guests.

Everyone agreed that the couple gave them the sense of concealed secrets. What the men could not discern was if that secret would be of any importance to them or to Coccham.

Finan had volunteered to be at the tavern more than the rest of the men. Sihtric had a family and much preferred spending his free time at home when they were not required to be traveling with Uhtred. And Osferth enjoyed the tavern but would have struck everyone as behaving oddly if he had hung around the tavern by himself. He was not one to drink unless with the rest of the men.

Finan admitted to himself that he was happy to take most of the time at the tavern. The fact was he was desperate to see Muireann again and determine what spark her eyes had ignited in him. He could not shake the feeling that she needed him somehow. And he needed her.

He felt a sense of urgency where she was concerned.They hadn’t said more than a few pleasantries to each other and yet…

Finan did not believe in destiny like Uhtred. Neither did he NOT believe in it. He had never felt the need to put much stock in it either way. But he found himself thinking about it now. On destiny and Muireann’s eyes.

~~~~~~

Back at the market

“That is very generous of your lord. My wife and I would be honored to eat at his table. Please give him our regards.”

“Yes please tell lord Uhtred and the lady Gisela that we look forward to it. Thank you, Finan” Muireann says while meeting his gaze.

The pull was there once again. Just as strong as before. Finan had to stop himself from reaching out to her. Time had slowed and sounds around them had become muffled.

Muireann was shaken from their reverie as her husband called her name.

Cael had shifted to a further stall after giving a farewell to Osferth. Muireann dropped her head and folded her arms across herself as she said goodbye.

“Coming,” she called to her husband.

She took a final glance at Finan and then shifted her eyes towards the harbor. There, several seals were perched on a rock.

“That’s an odd sight,” Finan remarked.

“We don’t usually have seals this far into the harbor. They prefer to stay upstream. Closer to the ocean.”

The seals seemed to be staring at Muireann and Finan. Their dark eyes watching.

Muireann placed her hand on Finan’s arm, gaining his attention once more.

“Thank you again for the dinner invitation. If there is ale there that my husband can enjoy then I will appreciate the company.”

“Is your husband not enough company for ya? And what has ale to do with it?” Finan did not know what prompted him to be so forward. But he simply couldn’t shake the feeling she needed help. And she did offer the cryptic information about ale.

“The amount of his company is not to my liking nor is the quality. He… he is not a kind man. In fact he can be cruel. But when he has enough ale, I can”

But she was unable to finish that thought. At that instant, Cael’s harsh voice broke through their conversation once more, “Muireann do not linger.”

“I must go. I do not wish to anger him.”

With that final comment and all its implications ringing in his head, Finan watched her walk to her husband.

“So your husband is more tolerable when he’s full of ale. We will have to ensure that he gets plenty to wet his palette then.” Finan thought to himself. As he turned to rejoin Osferth and return to the great hall, he did not notice the seal's eyes following Muireann.

~~~~

Dinner that evening had gone harmlessly.

Uhtred kept up a lively conversation with Cael throughout the evening. They mainly spoke of travels and common places they had both visited. The words spoken were amicable enough. But it did not go unnoticed that Cael stifled any attempt Muireann had at joining in on conversation around the table.

He would interrupt her or loudly bring the subject back around to himself. When Gisela and Sihtric both attempted to make conversation with Muireann, Cael answered for her even as she opened her mouth to reply for herself.

The one mistake Cael made was to continue to drink. Finan made every attempt to casually keep Caels cup full. And the man did not protest. As Ceal became inebriated, his controlling demeanor towards Muireann lessened. He began to lose focus on details of his surroundings, like men do when they drink.

Muireann, who had noticed what Finan was doing with Cael’s cup, even began to smile at the conversations around her. Finan saw her shoulders begin to loosen and relax.

“A song for the sea! That’s what Muireann calls it. It’s a song sung to bless sea voyages. She’s the voice of a goddess.”

Somehow the conversation had steered towards superstitions and rituals used in sea voyages. Uhtred had recounted some of the rituals used by the Danes that were taught to him as a child. This prompted Cael to drunkenly proclaim that Muireann’s voice would bless all his travels.

“Sing it for everyone, wife.”

“They do not wish to hear my song,” Muireann whispered.

“I do,” Finan said, across the table from her.

“Yes, please let us hear this magical song,” Gisela urged, smiling gently at Muireann.

Muireann had looked up to Finan after he spoke. Their gaze was locked once again. The edges of their reality began to blur and sounds became muffled once more.

Cael placed his hand on Muireann’s shoulder, “You will sing it for us, wife.” His words were a command.

Slowly, Muireann took a breath. Her eyes were lowered to her lap. As she began to sing, she closed them. A haunting melody that stilled the commotion in the entire hall. The breezes outside calmed and the waves crashed along the shores. The seals jumped and danced in the spray.

“I see your face across the sea,

you're in the waves surrounding me

I hear your voice call on the breeze,

on the ship out on the ocean”

Slowly Muireann opened her eyes and gazed across the table.

At that moment, Finan knew. He was captivated by this woman. He felt it in every sinew of his being.

She continued to sing closing her eyes or resting their gaze upon Finan.

“Sailing across the sea on a big ship on the ocean

The moon is rising in the East, the stars hang down around her

The bow is arrow to the hearts of the ones we wish to come to home to

But the newly-lit night directs this flight, singing 'The ocean road will guide you.'

I see your face across the sea, you're in the waves surrounding me

I hear your voice call on the breeze, on the ship out on the ocean

When I awake I'll cast my anchor down and dive below

I'll dive into my lover's arms and warm the ocean's cold

Across the sea into our homes, we'll meet again so soon

You'll be with me across the sea on the ship out on the ocean

I see your face across the sea, you're in the waves surrounding me

I hear your voice call on the breeze, on the ship out on the ocean

I see your face across the sea, you're in the waves surrounding me

I hear your voice call on the breeze, on the ship out on the ocean

On the ship out on the ocean, on the ship out on the ocean”

As Muireann’s gentle and soothing voice fades, so does the spell that held the hall entranced.

“Your voice is a gift, Muireann. Truly. Thank you for singing to us,” Gisela told her.

“Thank you, Lady. I do not often sing for others.” Muireann replies as she returned her gaze down to her lap. Throughout her song, if her eyes were not closed, they were connected to Finan’s.

Just then Cael snored. He had fallen asleep, her song acting as a lullaby. His head rested on the table while his hand still held his ale cup.

Everyone stifled their laughter and then continued to eat and talk.

~~~~~

Slowly, the dinner began to come to an end. Muireann kept sending uneasy glances at her husband. Finally, she stood up and asked to excuse herself.

“My husband will not move until dawn, I am afraid Lord. He is a sound sleeper when drunk. I feel this is a horrible way to ..” but her words had been cut off by Uhtred.

“Think nothing of it, Muireann. He can sleep it off here. I have guards positioned and no harm will come to him.”

“Thank you. If you’ll excuse me then Lord Uhtred. I will retire to the tavern. I would like to rest before we depart in the morning.”

“Of course, lady.”

With that Muireann lifted herself from the table and walked towards the door.

Finan was standing by the doorway speaking with Sihtric before he went home to his family. Sihtric had not missed the intensity between the trader's wife and his friend. He cautioned his friend against making unnecessary enemies.

“You don’t understand, Sihtric. She is in peril.”

“Did she tell you that? We all see that he is an ass. She does not seem happy, but many women are unhappy with their marriage. That does not mean she…”

Sihtric’s words are stopped as Muireann approaches them. Both men have noticed her change in demeanor. She breathed heavily and her eyes kept darting back to the still form of her husband.

“Are you alright, Muireann?” Finan asked, his voice laced with concern.

“Finan, I… No I am…” She took a frantic breath. “No, this may be my only chance.” Muireann said.

“Only chance?” Sihtric questioned.

Muireann glanced at him then down to the ground.

“Cael has something of mine. Something precious.” She drew her eyes up to Finan’s and spoke with more conviction. “He holds it captive. He has never given me even the slightest chance to retrieve it,” She spoke. “But tonight, I will,” She finished.

Finan looks to Sihtric and then back to Muireann. Those eyes like the sea. He was drowning in them.

“We will do what we can to help you.” Finn did not know what to make of her words. “We will do what we can to protect you. Sihtric, keep watch on Cael and I will come with you Muireann.” Sihtric’s mouth had drawn to a tight line. He gave a short nod while looking past Muireann towards her husband.

“Thank you.” She took Finan’s hand.

“Thank you both,” she gave Sihtric’s arm a squeeze.

Then she was past them and speeding to the tavern.

Once they were at the tavern, Finan stood outside her door keeping watch.

He could hear her rummaging through their goods, turning over furniture, looking everywhere. He also heard her speaking to herself frantically, in a language he did not know. After several minutes, she opened the door with tears pooling in her eyes.

“It is not here. It isn’t here” Muireann told him. Her words were distraught.

Finan took her shoulders in his hands. “Hey, hey. I will help ya. I will keep you safe”

Muireann was mumbling to herself. Some words in English and others in that strange foreign tongue. She did not hear him.

Finan grasped her chin gently in his hand and tilted her head to look up at him. “Muireann, , it will be alright. I won’t let him harm you. We will find it.” Finan shifted his palm to cup Muireaan’s cheek. His thumb made gentle strokes along the curve of her face.

Muireann’s eyes brim with unshed tears.

She took a long shaking breath and leaned into Finan’s hand.

“I would have liked to have met you that day on the beach, instead of my husband. I do not think I would mind you holding me.”

“I do not understand. Muireann… help me understand,” Finan voiced with uncontrolled concern. He touched his forehead to hers.

The moment was broken when the two heard Cael screaming in a voice hoarse from ale.

“Muireann...Muireann!”

Muireann took a steadying breath then turned and walked down the stairs and out to meet Cael. He stood outside the tavern, breathing heavy and wavering as if standing on waves.

Sihtric was running towards them attempting to keep himself between Cael and Muireann. He had a large bruise forming around one eye and a small line of blood mingled in his hair under his nose.

“Where were you Muireann?” Cael barked at her. He did not attempt to reach her. The two warriors blocked his path.

When she didn’t answer him, he spoke again. His voice quieter and with more malice.

“Where were you?”

Muireann brought her eyes to meet his gaze. She walked between the warriors and took two more steps towards Cael. Still silent.

By now, Osferth and Uhtred were standing watching the wordless exchange take place as well.

Muireann kept her eyes locked with Cael.

Then he understood.

She was looking for it.

And that was when he made his second mistake that evening. Upon instinct, Cael’s eye could not help but flit towards his carefully selected hiding place, the stables across the square.

Muireann didn’t miss his look. And she remembered him visiting the stables with Uhtred upon their arrival, claiming they may carry on their journey on foot. He must have hidden it there.

Quick as lightening, Muireann had bolted towards the stables. Equally as fast, shocking for someone so drunk, Cael lunged forward and grabbed her arm whipping her back. The back of his hand connected with her cheek with a loud crack.

In the next instant, the men were in action.

Sihtric and Finan restrained Cael but not before Finan placed a few well aimed blows to his gut.

Osferth ran to Muirann’s side and helped her rise to her feet. She brought her hand to her temple and gripped Osferth’s arm to steady herself.

“ I will not tolerate someone to strike a woman in my presence,” Uhtred spoke.

“Just let me take my wife and we will leave. You will need never see us again.”

“I will not leave with you,” Muireann spat.

“You must. I hold you. Your will cannot overcome it” Cael spat back.

“Of what do you speak? You hold her?” Uhtred asked.

“She can never leave me. I …” Cael began.

His words were stopped short as Muireann drew a blade across his throat.

As Uhtred had gathered Cael’s attention from her, Muireann had grabbed the dagger from Finan’s belt.

Sihtric and Finan dropped Cael and the warriors all remained silent.

Muireann panted as she watched Cael’s eyes dull and the life leave his body. She looked up to Finan. As he took a hesitant step towards her, she dropped his knife.

Then, as if compelled by an unseen force, Muireann streaked towards the stables. It was as if she ran for her very life. From the still form of her husband, the warriors. From Finan.

When Muireann reached the stables, she wrenched open the doors and sank to her knees in the first empty stall. Buried underneath the rushes, she found it. A small wooden chest, locked.

Muireann picked up the chest and with the strength of five men, hurled it at the stable wall. The chest, weathered and sea worn, cracked into splinters.

Muireann grabbed the contents and ran towards the river. Her breath was coming in gasps and her motions were frantic. Once she reached the river, she continued along it until she reached a clearing with a small beach.

Muireann had removed her dress and was stepping out of it as she heard Finan approach her from behind. Muireann swung around to face him. He was not alone, but he was the only one her heart could see.

Uhtred, Sihtric, and Osferth had stopped at the bank on the top of the clearing. They allowed Finan to walk towards Muireann. She clutched the contents of the box to her chest. So hard that her knuckles were white. Finally, Finan got within arms reach of Muireann.

He stopped and she stared at him with wide, terrified eyes

Finan held up his hands, “We won’t hurt ya, Muireann. I won’t hurt ya.”

“I know. I meant it when I said I don’t think I would mind if you had a hold on me. If you kept me bound to you.”

“What are you talking about, Muireann. I don’t understand. What did he do to you? What did he keep to bind you to him?” Finan’s voice was desperate for answers. For understanding.

“I will return. Near midsummer’s eve, look for me from the river,” She whispered.

Slowly, Muireann backed away and careful to never lose grip of her precious bundle from the box, she slipped her shift from her shoulders. It fell away and lay at her feet.

She never broke eye contact with Finan.

They all watched her.

Transfixed.

Under her spell.

Muireann walked slowly into the water letting herself glide backwards. She was going home. Her head slipped below the surface and they all waited with baited breath.

A few moments later and slightly closer to shore, a seal broke the surface of the water. The sleek, beautiful creature stared at them all with human eyes. Her gaze lingered the longest on Finan. Then she slipped back under the dark waters and was gone. The seals from the harbor slipped away into the depths to join her.

“A selkie” Finan whispered.

“Was that..?” Sihtric asked. The companions had walked up to stand next to Finan on the shore.

“She’s a selkie.”

Osferth stared at Finan questioningly.

Uhtred answered for his brother. “She is one of the seal folk. Shapeshifters. Seals who can shed their skins to reveal a human form,” he spoke, entranced. None of them could believe what they had witnessed. Uhtred continued, “If a man takes a selkie woman’s skin and keeps it from her, she can never leave him. She can not be without her skin. That is how Muireann’s husband was holding her captive”

“We will see her again, Finan. She will return to you.” Sihtric said. “ She looks at you like my Ealswith looks at me. And how Gisela looks to Uhtred. I noticed it in the hall. She will return.”

“Aye,” Finan said, with tears in his eyes. “And when she does, I will not hold her captive. But I will love her. By the sweet lord, our God, I will love that woman.”

A few notes:

Moodboard is mostly stock photography found on Google/Pinterest. The top left corner is Woman in Tattered Dress by the Stormy Sea by Jill Battaglia. The song in the story is Across the Sea by The Wailin’ Jennys.

Muireann - An irish name meaning "sea white, sea fair". Pronunciation is like the surname of the actress Helen Mirren, but with the spin of a w sound after the initial M.

Cael - An irish name meaning “narrow, slender”. Pronunciation is like kale, the leafy vegetable.

#The Last Kingdom #finan the agile #finan #fanfiction

66 notes · View notes

thepurplesquip · 3 years ago

Text

Ben 10/Greatest Showman AU Chapter 1

Co-written by me and @minecraftninjerkid

Ben stared hungrily at a ring master outfit in a store window. Many times, he had passed this window, imagining himself in it, at the center of a ring, at the center of attention, everyone cheering for him and the wonders he displayed for all to see.

His fantasy was cut short by his grandfather, Max Tennyson, who exited the store, rolls of fabric under his arm. “Come on Ben, we’re going to miss our train.”

Ben was pulled away from the shop window, though his imagination kept him locked in that image of himself in those ringmaster’s boots. Despite the strength of his dreamlike illusion, the harsh truth was that Ben Tennyson came from poor beginnings, living and working with his grandfather as tailors for the crazy rich Lawrence family.

But Ben knew his fate extended far past stitching coats and shirts. One day, he promised, that he’d build a life for himself, far greater than anyone could ever imagine.

Though he hated working in such a high and mighty household, it wasn’t all bad. The source of Ben’s hopes for a better life stemmed from his affection for the Lawrence family’s daughter, Courtney. Although from different worlds, the children became very close with one another. However, despite that closeness, their social statuses stood in their way.

Soon after they had arrived, Max was creating a suit for Abraham Lawrence, Courtney’s father, as Ben was watching the young raven-haired girl participating one of her many etiquette lessons, this time was learning how to properly drink from a teacup.

The girl kept glancing over at Ben as she was instructed how to drink from her cup by a maid. Ben watched carefully, noticing how bored she looked. Seeing a wooden item on a nearby coffee table, he got an idea. Fashioning himself a fake teacup, he began copying her actions while Courtney watched in mild interest from the corner of her eye.

As soon as Courtney had taken a sip, Ben did the same with an overdramatic slurp, sucking up a small piece of fabric that was on the mouthpiece of his cup in the process. This caused Courtney to spit take as she doubled over in quiet laughter, causing Ben to laugh as well. He was always happy to bring a little sunshine in her hoity-toity, dreary life. He’d feel her smile like it was his own.

However, Courtney’s father did not find this as amusing, calling her over. Courtney reluctantly obeyed the call, exchanging a worried look with Ben as she stood in front of her father.

“Your dress! Is this how we taught you to behave?”, Abraham asked her sternly as Courtney looked down at her now tea-stained dress.

“It’s my fault sir,” Ben confessed, stepping forward. “I made her laugh.”

Abe gave Ben a long, cold stare before responding calmly. “Well…thank you for your honesty.”

For a moment, Ben thought they were both in the clear. A good clout to the ear proved him wrong.

“Stay away from my daughter!” Abraham warned Ben as he rubbed his now-sore ear. He then grabbed Courtney by the arm before dragging her away as she glanced back at Ben, gratitude and remorse filling her eyes before they both disappeared behind the door frame and out of sight.

***

Later, Ben was sitting alone on a beach that was close to the Lawrence mansion, thinking about the incident from earlier that day. Abraham had usually ignored his interactions with his daughter without a word, but today he seemed extra irritable. He couldn’t help but wonder why.

He was so lost in this thought, he didn’t notice Courtney was there until she sat next to him, now wearing a new clean dress. “I thought I’d find you out here.”

“Courtney? How’d you get out?”, Ben asked her, knowing full-well that she was grounded because of his actions.

“The window,” she replied simply before looking over at Ben. She was trying to sound lighthearted, but Ben could sense sorrow in her voice. After a few moments of silence, Courtney let out a long, sad sigh, unable to fool her friend. “My father is sending me to finishing school. Can you believe it?”

“Guess your dad’s not keen on training you to become a fine lady with a ruffian like me around,” Ben joked, trying to cheer her up.

“That’s not funny, Ben! After I’m a well-trained adult, then what?! I just become some subservient housewife to a wealthy lord? I don’t want that! I…I don’t know what my future will be…”

Ben looked at her and gave her a soft smile. “Well, you know what I see?”, Ben asked as he stood up and held out his hand to her. Courtney smiled as she took his hand before he pulled her onto her feet and led her away from the beach.

Soon they were in the forest as they came across vine covered gates. Ben started climbing them as Courtney did the same. They soon climbed up high enough to see that inside the gates was an old mansion.

“What is this place?” Courtney asked as she and Ben climbed over to the other side of the gate.

“I found it a while after my grandpa started working for your dad. I thought that maybe we could live here when we’re older,” Ben said as they walked closer.

“’We’?” Courtney said teasingly. “Is this a proposal, Tennyson?”

“Depends…does Tennyson sound like your kind of surname~?”

Courtney couldn’t help but giggle at Ben’s flirty remark. Though the place was old and creepy, there was something enchanting about it as well.

“Come on, follow me!” Ben said as he ran past Courtney towards the building. The two ended up facing a giant white wall, and though worn, it still stood in their way.

“No way in…” Courtney mourned, looking all around for some sort of opening. “Maybe we should head back…”

But Ben knew this place like the back of his hand. “Life is always putting challenges as solid as this wall in front of us,” he assured his best friend. “If you see a wall in your way…you push through it.”

With a tilt of his head, Ben walked sideways into a wall of ivy vines and disappeared. Courtney gawked in slight shock. How did he do that?? “…Ben?”

Ben’s hand stuck out from the wall, forming a mouth. “Join me…” he whispered from the other side of the vines before extending his hand to her.

Grinning, Courtney grabbed his hand as she was pulled inside. At first, all she could see was dark. But then, Ben lit a lantern, and the wonders of the house were illuminated. The two remained hand-in-hand as he showed her the different items that were inside.

“This is amazing…” Courtney said, truly enthralled by the treasures this house held. “You really think we can live here someday?”

“Together?” Ben said, stopping in front of a moonlit window and giving her his signature smile. “I don’t see why not.”

Ben wished that time could just stop, right there in that moment, where he shared his dreams with the girl he loved. But, soon enough, the dreadful day came when Courtney had to leave for finishing school. Her mother’s hugs and kisses and her father’s well-wishes weren’t enough to comfort her, nor did she hear a goodbye from the one she really wanted to see as she climbed into the carriage.

Ben and his grandfather walked out of the house too late, he was carrying rolls of fabric. Ben saw Courtney in the carriage as he dropped the rolls of fabric, causing them to unroll as he tried to run after her.

“Courtney!” Ben cried out as his grandfather grabbed him, only allowing him to watch his best friend and the girl he loved ride off.

Seeing Courtney leave was only the start of Ben’s troubles. Max suddenly fell ill as Ben did his best to care for him, but his grandfather ended up passing on. Ben was soon forced to live on the streets, hungry and alone.

Though it felt like his dream world was already starting to crumble, Ben didn’t give up. Through the letters he continued writing to Courtney, he was given the strength to keep going. He’d see her again, and he’d be a new man when it happened.

That hope carried him through the years quickly. Soon, Ben returned to Courtney’s home, now grown up. Even after all this time, he was nervous as he approached the house while a grown-up Courtney watched him through her upstairs window. What if her feelings had changed while she was away? What if she was the stuck-up trophy wife her parents had trained her to be and wanted nothing to do with a street boy like him anymore?

Before Ben got to the door, it opened to reveal Courtney’s father standing in the doorway, heightening his nerves. Still, he’d come too far to turn back now.

“Mr. Lawrence, I know I don’t come from much,” Ben said, clearing his throat to fix the waver in his voice. “But I will take care of your daughter and give her a life as grand as this one.”

Ben looked past Abraham to see Courtney coming down the steps with a suitcase, looking more beautiful than he remembered. He may not have seen her since they were young, but he knew it was her from her jet-black hair to her soft, yet sweet smile. It was that smile that restored his confidence, the one that told him Courtney felt the same way.

It seemed to sell her mother too, as Genevieve Lawrence copied her daughter’s smile and nodded, signaling her blessing. Knowing better than to argue with his wife, Abraham reluctantly nodded as well. Courtney couldn’t contain her excitement and practically launched herself off the bottom steps and into Ben’s arms, where he lifted her in a high-spirited gusto, excited to take the first steps of their new life at last.

But Ben was not leaving without one last challenge declared on him. As Courtney said her goodbyes to her mother, Abraham turned back to Ben. “Say that you uphold your promises to our family,” he warned him. “Because if you don’t…the Lawrence’s don’t offer second chances.”

It almost sounded like he was hoping Ben would fail. Knowing the path he was leading Courtney down was risky, Ben partially understood that Abe would be more comfortable knowing Courtney was under a stable roof. But he wasn’t going to fail, not in the slightest. With a heart full of love and a head full of ambition, there was nothing that would stop him.

Courtney approached Ben and smiled as they ran off, hand in hand, glad to be reunited once again.

Soon night fell as they arrived at a busy train station. “I can’t believe you actually pulled it off!” Courtney cheered. “I thought my dad was going to shred you for sure!”

“Gee, thanks for the confidence in me,” Ben said meekly, only now feeling the wind of the bullet he just dodged.

“Oh, Ben I’ve always had confidence in you,” Courtney smiled, glad to finally be free of her parent’s expectations, at least for a moment. Little did she know it would be for much longer than a moment. “So, what’s the occasion?”

Ben responded with a blush and a quick self-reminder to stick to his plan. “So…you remember that thing you said about a proposal when we were kids? I…might’ve taken it seriously.”

Courtney’s mouth was agape. “Y-You what…?”

“I know, I know, you probably weren’t being serious. I kept on telling myself ‘she totally means it!’ Just goes to show my brain doesn’t know what my mouth is saying.”

Courtney still had trouble processing what she was seeing as Ben got down on one knee. “Good thing my heart does.”

Ben pulled out a small box and opened it to reveal a ring that he had spent the last year saving up for. “Courtney Lawrence…will you marry me?”

There were no words to describe how happy, surprised, and emotional Courtney felt to hear that from him. “Ben…I…yes…yes, yes, yes, of COURSE I will!!”

And that was that: with a slip of the ring on her finger, a kiss, and a couple more years, Ben and Courtney soon found themselves in a small apartment where they spent their nights dancing on the rooftop. It may not have been much, but they were together and they were happy.

Part of Ben thought it would be like that forever…just him and his newlywed wife. But, it wasn’t until Courtney fell pregnant that Ben realized that his promise now extended to his two baby boys…and that he would soon need to do more for their growing family.

#ben 10 #ben 10 omniverse #ben 10 oc #ben 10 original series #ben 10 au #ben 10 fanfiction #the greatest showman #the greatest showman au #ben tennyson #courtney lawrence #oc x canon #Oc x character #character x OC #canon x oc #canon x oc fanfiction #fanfiction #au fanfiction

7 notes · View notes

sallytheseamstress · 4 years ago

Text

HAPPIESTPLACEHQ Task 2 - Sally Finkelstein

Playlist you feel best describes your character

Touch In Mine (fingers) - Esperanza Spalding “Touching surfaces every day Feeling no spark of tenderness within” Sally is a very sensitive person, both physically and emotionally: loud sounds, bright lights, strong smells can overwhelm her easily, as well as angry words and open displays of aggression. That is partly why she keeps to herself, to her routines, to her little comfortable bubble; but as she has become older, Sally finds that this existence is now wearing her down, and has come to realize that, even with the friendship of Jack (who is so often locked up in his own world as well) and Zero (who, much like her, keeps to himself), she craves affection and love that, so far, hasn’t experienced neither from family nor friends.

Like Someone In Love - Björk “Each time I look at you, I'm limp as a glove And feeling like someone in love” Just a little love song that very accurately depicts Sally’s sort of clumsiness towards her own feelings, and how she feels she could express them towards a loved one. It is a beautiful, if rather awkward, way to feel for her, one that sticks to her mind and heart and colors her world, filling her with conflicting emotions -giddiness of being lovestruck, fear of being found out, sadness at the inevitability of vulnerability, hopefulness at the chance of being requited.

Your Woman - White Town “Now I know your heart, I know your mind You don't even know you're being unkind So much for all your highbrow Marxist ways Just use me up and then you walk away Boy, you can't play me that way” Even though this is a break up song between a romantic couple, this could very well reflect Sally and her father’s codependent relationship. With no family beyond him, no other place to go and with her low-paying job, Sally is basically dependent on her father for everything; and, similarly, her father, being in a wheelchair and stubbornly determined on never leaving Redwood Hollow, depends on Sally for everything he cannot do himself. Sally does recognize her father’s brilliant mind, his cultured thoughts, his well-read expertise and knowledge, but even though he spouts a philosophy of mutual aid, of small-town solidarity and community that he passed down to his daughter, Sally knows deep down this is pure bull -when he himself seems to regard her as a slave, something he owns and is in his right to mistreat, withholding any sort of affection or praise or kindness, treating her more like a robot than as a child.

Glory Box - Portishead “Sow a little tenderness No matter if you cry Give me a reason to love you Give me a reason to be a woman I just wanna be a woman” Going back to the first song, what Sally wants most is affection, and that means vulnerability both from her part and from whom the affection comes from. Since she was very little she has learned to keep her emotions in check, not asking for much, never be a nuisance. This has also led to her feeling somehow disconnected from her own self, from her gender and age, as well as from society at large. Now that she has arrived to her thirties, Sally feels like she needs to break out of this subservient position she has been chained to, and that means, in part, reclaiming her own self as a person with autonomy, as someone capable of and deserving of love, and as a woman with the capacity to socialize with others, to be nurturing, to be affectionate; and, as well, partly resenting her status as a woman as someone who needs to fulfill that nurturing role, to provide for her father, to cook and clean and do the domestic chores.

Sounds Of Blue - Morcheeba “A sort of stoned silence Sat on that boat floating out The waters left me open All my emotions fog my lenses” Despite acknowledging her own sensitiveness, Sally isn’t very good with emotions; she knows the basics of comforting, to leave her shoulder free for someone else to cry on, to be available and listen to someone in need; but she is awful at managing her own frustrations and despair, choosing instead to bottle it all. Sometimes, it can feel almost asphyxiating, to be so full with words she can’t pronounce, with nowhere to pour them. This often makes Sally feel even more alone, like a boat in the middle of the ocean. As she grows older, though, she has begun to try her best and be mindful of what she feels; instead of simply allowing the emotions to overwhelm her, Sally tries to question them, to dive deeper and find the root cause, even if that means giving in and having to have a good long cry about it.

Walking In The Rain - The Ronettes “When he's near me, I'll kiss him And when he leaves me, woah, oh, oh, I'll miss him Though sometimes we'll fight, I won't really care And I'll know it's gonna be alright 'cause we've got so much we share” Sally would like to think of herself as the practical sort; but, of course, this doesn’t mean she has a romantic side as well. Being raised by her father, homeschooled, with no distraction beyond books and constantly monitored TV watching, she grew up during her teens with a strong idea of what true love is like: it is instant, it is irresistible, it is everlasting, it is passionate, it is destined... As an adult, she knows this isn’t realistic at all (especially having witnessed, from a distance, the romantic troubles of the rest of the town); but a part of her still wishes she could be whisked away by a prince, somewhere far away, to an idyllic world of tenderness and freedom.

Good Morning Heartache - Billie Holiday “Stop haunting me now Can't shake you, no how Just leave me alone I've got those Monday blues Straight through Sunday blues” Kind of a byproduct of her buried-deep-down idealizations of love, and her repressed emotions and expectations, the weight of Sally’s loneliness can sometimes pull her down to periods of depression. As a full-time worker, both as her father’s caretaker and in her work at Jack’s Attic and in the Community Events Committee, Sally often has to put on a happy face to deal with the daily grind; but, once she has some time alone, she either tries to keep herself distracted, or gives in to that despair for as long as she can allow herself to.

Les Fleurs - Minnie Riperton “For all of these simple things and much more, a flower was born It blooms to spread love and joy, faith and hope to people forlorn” Most of all, Sally feels most comfortable in nature: as at home as she is in her own house, it also feels, increasingly so, as a place of repression, lack of change, and constant surveillance. Nature, especially Redwood Park and the surrounding woodland, feels to Sally as the place where change is required, where it is most clear, where it is most, well, natural. Whether it is a rainy day with the air thick with humidity and the tension of a coming thunderstorm, a sunny afternoon having a small picnic at the shade of a tree in full bloom, or a lovely, glittering snow morning, snowflakes falling quietly and magically from a cotton-clouded sky, Sally loves it when she can be outside, forget about her responsabilities and duties, and focus on the sensation of the world, the real world, around her.

Day Dreaming - Aretha Franklin “He's the kind of guy that would say Hey, baby, let's get away Let's go some place, huh Where I don't care” This is also a continuation of her own ongoing matureness and acknowledging of how she tends to idealize the idea of love. Sally tries her best to reject her old teenage conception of a prince coming to sweep her off her feet, but at the same time, especially when she can allow herself some time to doze off and daydream, she still nurses that little hope that, whoever it is that will come along and give her the affection she wants so bad, will wish, just as she does, to explore the world beyond Redwood -it doesn’t matter where, since they would be together, mutually helping each other in their struggles, loving and trusting each other, and that would be everything they would need.

Please Don’t Make Me Cry - Lianne La Havas “I'll try to let it go, my fingers are crossed I show you my pretty scars, they make us whatever we are” Sally knows fully well that she comes with a good deal of issues, and that’s what scares her most when considering pursuing a romantic relationship. She is, however, aware enough of her traumas that she feels she could be honest about it -of course, as long as she manages to not let herself be drowned by them. Honesty is a very important quality for her. The only problem, then, is that while Sally truly wants to confess just how much she feels what has happened to her, she is still afraid to intimidate someone else, to be seen as “high-maintenance”, as someone hard to love. Once more, while love is her goal, vulnerability is her greatest fear.

#sally finkelstein #happiestplacetask #happiestplacetask2 #. HEADCANONS { try as i may it doesn’t last }#. TUNES { i sense there’s something in the wind }

5 notes · View notes

krytus · 3 years ago

Note

I, for one, absolutely want a wall of text filled with all your charmed thoughts and ideas

omg YES i wuld also love nothing more than to talk abt the charmed s2 that lives inside my head <3

ok ok so the basic structure would be 2a would be the demon & witch war that we got faked out of and 2b would be the shea storyline w/ both sides calling a truce to deal w/ the Bigger Threat

i was SO sad that abigael's storyline went Literally nowhere it think it would have been sick if she really WAS playing the charmed ones the entire time (especially doing it through harry? bc she thinks she has an in through him but at some Critical point underestimates how much he would choose the girls over Anyone else) and ends up betraying them and they want her BLOOD

i would have love to see her misdirecting the sisters so that they end up taking out her competition. and abigael justifying it w/ well our goals are aligned <3 why are you mad if i didn't tell you the whole truth it wouldn't have changed anything. but they KEEP falling for it and abigael stays in power

it was dumb as hell to kill all the whitelighters SO that doesn't happen and WHILE the demon & witch war is brewing someone (jada) is out convincing the whitelighters that the system they swore themselves to doesn't exist anymore & they should be free to choose if they want to continue to be subservient to witches

and most of them are like Yeah what other purpose is there because they don't really HAVE a reason to go against the elder's last wishes

ENTER the darklighter reveal and now suddenly it turns out these people were all torn apart & have to deal with that? and when the demon & witch war heats up they become glorified human shields and its like. what the Fuck. cue the whitelighters all unionizing

and it would be good to expand a bit more on what darklighters actually ARE...i think it'd be interesting if the elders Said they were all the feelings of rage, grief, and rebellion ripped out but it turns out it's not as Clean of a cut as they made it out to be

also the vera vaughs should have more witch friends. they know like?? three or four more witches by nearly the end of s3 that's bullshit i want them to have more friends that help them out <3 they form a little task force or something as the demon witch war escalates bc they can’t be everywhere at once

macy & jordan get together instead of maggie & jordan because HEAR ME OUT HEAR ME OUT their episode together in josefina’s bag was literally one of the best they have insane chemistry and are both solid tens.

macy spends a good while upset bc you know galvin JUST died and he was her first serious boyfriend so she’s tentative abt loving someone else but then here comes jordan & he’s so sweet and always there for the sisters w no questions asked and macy slowly falls for him but then it turns out he’s CURSED to die and she’s like. ah shit. cannot believe youve done this. so she goes Through It a bit and honestly i don’t think jordan’s Curse storyline should drag out as much (especially since his ancestor who got everyone cursed was white?? literally did they consult NO ONE abt this storyline)

maggie gets to be on again off again w parker who comes back because everyone wants him to be demon overlord but he’s like Hello? i Literally gave up the source of all evil i HATE being in charge idk he can get Murdered or smthn or maybe eventually start causing some problems (it’s the white man in him)

actually it’d be so funny if maggie’s ex was the one causing trouble on the demon side and mel’s ex was the one causing trouble on the whitelighter/witch front and the woman desperately trying to peg harry was ALSO causing problems. macy’s the only one w/ an unproblematic love interest staying in his own lane <3

mel’s arc would be that everyone keeps playing her into attacking first, that she resents that she’s Unofficially the one in charge, that jada is back and Causing Problems but mel can see where she’s :/ kinda morally correct

maggie’s arc is dealing with the fact that she Kinda wants a normal life but that’s not going to happen if everyone keeps killing each other so she wants to try to find a solution that involves as little bloodshed as possible but also. everyone has insatiable bloodlust.

and macy that she unfortunately has a stake in both sides and there’s people who will Definitely be taking advantage of that (maybe even getting HER to try to be demon overlord to unite both sides under One Flag, so to speak). also, like maggie she wants something Normal i mean it was fun when it was just like. small stakes but now it’s literally Everyone counting on the vera vaughns and its like bitches help

harry’s would be that he’s kinda useless now, since he’s basically taught everything he knows, and that he’s used as a pawn by abigael, and then later the darklighter plot and that the people that Made him who he is did so by ripping everything Bad out of him and the fact that he never had a choice

anyways anyways 2a would end with the war between witches & demons officially being started, it would continue on a bit for the start of 2b with everyone on edge and stretched a bit thin and jimmy Acting Up n trying to kill the girls, and then the shea storyline would pick up

and i have Not thought that far in advance <3

#i PROMISED a wall of text didn't i..........#under a readmore because i'm not. a total dick <3 #charmed season two that lives in my head my beloved #see see s2 & had SUCH good concepts the executions were just. oh so bad.#i'm just moving the furniture a bit......painting the walls but it's the same house.....#s.ask #anon #charmed

2 notes · View notes

gryffindorcls · 5 years ago

Text

Could You Please Repeat That?

Part 1

——————————————————————————————

Hello, lovely readers! Welcome to “Could You Please Repeat That?”. This is going to be a quick two-part fic. I was inspired by @rykerrrrr ‘s post that you can look at here.

I am still working on my other WIPs, but this was too good not to write.

I hope you enjoy!

——————————————————————————————

Marinette straightened her skirt before knocking on the doors that led to her boss’ office. Even though she had been working as a designer at Gabriel for three years, there was still something about Mr. Agreste that made her feel uneasy. Nonetheless, she took a deep breath, confidently rapped her knuckles against the wooden door, and waited to be summoned.

“You may enter,” a firm voice called from the other side.

She pushed open the door and walked into the room. “You wanted to see me, sir?”

“Ah, yes. Good morning, Marinette. Please...come in and take a seat.”

She quickly closed the door and made her way to one of the chairs that were situated in front of Gabriel’s desk. Once seated, Marinette looked up at her boss with expectant eyes.

“First, I would like to offer congratulations on your engagement to my son. I am looking forward to having someone as talented as you join the family,” he stated plainly.

A smile spread across her face as she toyed with the ring on her left hand. “Thank you. Adrien and I are very excited.”

“I assume the two of you have already begun making arrangements.”

“Yes, sir. We’ve started looking at venues, caterers, and themes.”

“And what about your dress?”

“I wanted to make it myself.”

Gabriel nodded in approval. “Good. I expect nothing less from my top designer. Let me know how I can be of assistance when you have the design ready. Feel free to schedule an appointment to come and talk to me anytime.”

“Thank you, sir,” she responded eagerly, “I really appreciate the offer.”

“Marinette, there is no need to keep calling me ‘sir’. Feel free to call me Gabriel. After all, you are my future daughter-in-law.”

“Okay, sir...I mean...Gabriel.”

He leaned back in his chair and pressed his fingers together. “I would like to tell you right now that I trust you, Marinette.”

She swallowed uncomfortably. “Uhm...thank you. I trust you, too?”

“Good. Now that I’m getting older, it’s time that I start thinking about my legacy. Adrien is already the heir to my fortune, but I would like you to be a part of it, as well.”

“I...uh...really enjoy designing for your company, and I would love to keep doing that.”

“Oh, you will. Trust me. You are incredibly talented, and I intend for you to run Gabriel alongside my son one day. However, my legacy runs deeper than this company, and it’s about time that I bring some fresh faces into the fold. Nathalie has been helping me with it for years. She is very loyal to the cause, but she and I will not be around forever. I’m hoping to pass on the torch to you and Adrien.”

“Okay. What is it exactly? Are we talking about humanitarian efforts overseas or philanthropy?”

Gabriel turned his head to the side and paused a moment before continuing. “Not exactly. It does, however, have a big impact on society.”

Marinette straightened in her seat. “Well, I’m excited to learn about it.”

“It’s difficult to explain. It will be easier to show you.” He got up from his chair and stood in front of the portrait of his wife. He held out his hand and beckoned her to join him. “Come here, my dear.”

She quickly moved next to him. He placed a hand on her shoulder and looked up at the painting.

“Emilie was so full of life,” he remarked with sadness in his voice, “Her emotions ran deep, and her love for others made her a light in the darkness. However, her curiosity of the world around her is what made her exceptional. She was never afraid to try something new or take a risk.”

“Adrien is a lot like that,” Marinette responded with a whisper.

“I see so much of her in my son, and I see a lot of myself in you. Marinette you are talented and driven. That’s why you and Adrien will be the perfect pair to take over.”

“I still don’t completely understand. What is it that you want us to do?”

Gabriel used both his hands to press in several hidden buttons on his wife’s portrait. Two openings in the floor appeared and a platform began to lower Marinette into the ground. Unsure of what to make of the situation, she did her best not to panic.

Before she had the chance to become uncomfortable in the confined space, the ride ended and she was gently set down in the middle of a spacious room. She found herself at the end of a long metal walkway that was surrounded by dozens of trees.

“You have a park under your house?” Marinette questioned tentatively, “Are you involved in environmental conservation?”

Gabriel looked at her and shook his head. “This is more of a lair than a park, and the only conservation I’m interested in is that of this family. Walk with me.”

He guided her down the raised path and stopped in front of a glass chamber. Marinette’s heart sank when she looked at its contents. She could feel the tears forming in the corners of her eyes.

“This can’t be happening,” she thought to herself.

“Gabriel,” her voice sounded strained, “is that who I think it is?”

He reached out his hand and allowed his fingers to lightly graze the glass covering. “She’s been like this for years. Before Adrien was born, she and I traveled around the world so I could find inspiration for my designs. On one of our trips, we made a surprising discovery in the ruins of an old, abandoned temple. That’s when we learned that there were forces in this world greater than any of us could have ever imagined. Magic is real, and we had access to it. We didn’t know what we were doing. We were like children playing with fire. After we had our son, I stopped, but she continued. One day, there was an accident, and over the course of a year, Emilie slowly fell into this state. We knew it was coming, and we tried to hide it from Adrien. However, I made a promise to her that I would bring her back.”

“Does Adrien know about this?”

“No. But I’m not only doing this for her...I’m doing it for him, as well. For all of us.”

As he spoke, a white butterfly landed on the glass covering Emilie Agreste. The familiarity of the insect struck the core of her being.

Marinette feared the response to her next question. She had a sinking feeling that she already knew the answer. “You said that the two of you were using magic. What exactly were you doing?”

“Nooroo,” he called into the void, “Come out and say hello.”

A small purple Kwami zipped into view and floated in front of Gabriel. Panic exploded inside Marinette’s brain, and she clutched her crossbody purse against her side. She could feel Tikki thump against the inside of the bag.

The tiny being lowered his head in subservience. “Yes, master?”

“Marinette, this is Nooroo. He is a Kwami. No doubt you have heard of something called a Miraculous before. He is a non-corporeal being that can interact with the human world when a holder is wearing the Miraculous he is attached to. When the right words are spoken, the Kwami can give you powers.”

She closed her eyes and tried to remain calm. Marinette took a deep breath found her confidence.

“Pretend you’re acting in a play,” she told herself mentally, “You can freak out later.”

She looked at him and blinked innocently. “You mean, these Kwamis are how people like Ladybug and Chat Noir become heroes? Does that mean you’re one of Paris’ heroes, as well?”

He put his hand on her shoulder, and she did her best not to shake it off. “Thinking that the world is nothing more than a dichotomy between heroes and villains is juvenile. Life is more complicated than that, and it is something that the so-called ‘heroes of Paris’ have always failed to see. They don’t understand that sometimes sacrifices must be made for the greater good.”

“Well, if that’s the case...what does that make you?”

“Marinette, I am Hawkmoth.”

“Oh,” she said softly, “Wow. Uhm...can I ask why?”

Gabriel turned towards Emilie. “My wife was once the holder of the Peacock Miraculous. It was damaged, and it made her sick. I have come to learn that if I combine the powers of Ladybug and Chat Noir’s Miraculouses, then I will have the chance to make one wish.”

Marinette chose her next words carefully. “But what about all those people in Paris who have been hurt? If you succeed, then Ladybug won’t be able to make everything okay again.”

“I understand your concern. Nathalie had the same thoughts when she first started working with me on this project. My wish is not simply to bring Emilie back. If I did that, then the universe would balance itself out by putting someone else in a coma, and there’s a chance that it would be Adrien. I could never endanger him like that. No, I plan to turn back time and ensure that this never happens at all. I will have never been Hawkmoth, and Adrien would still have his mother.”

“But...then everything would be different. How can you know that I would still be with Adrien in that reality? I can’t lose him.”

My dear, there is nothing to worry about. Part of my wish will be to still remember this reality. I can guarantee to you that I will make sure that Adrien finds you. If there is one thing that I have learned in all of this is that love cannot be erased.”

Marinette saw the sincerity in his eyes. He truly did not see the error of his ways, and this was more terrifying than any of the Akumas he’d created over the past seven years. At this moment, she knew she had to get back to Adrien immediately.

She nodded and smiled. “Gabriel, that’s incredible. You seem to have everything figured out. So, what do you need me and Adrien for?”

Gabriel still kept his gaze locked on his wife. “Nathalie currently wields the Peacock Miraculous, but she will be stopping soon. I would like you to take over for her. Naturally, Adrien would take my place as Hawkmoth. Ever since Timetagger, I’ve always known that someone else would take my place. It only makes sense that it would be my son.”

“Wait...isn’t the Peacock Miraculous damaged? Won’t using it make me sick?”

“We’ve learned that the effects take years to before they become serious. That’s why Nathalie won’t be continuing her work as Mayura. The only reason my wife became sick so quickly was because she was wearing the Miraculous when the accident occurred.”

“They’re not evil...they’re insane!” Marinette thought, “Quick! Say something! Anything!”

“Awesome!” she said with forced enthusiasm, “Count me in! What’s next?”

Gabriel looked at her and smiled. “I’m happy to see that you’re on board. I knew I could put my faith in you. Our next step will be to tell Adrien. I’m going to need your help with this. As you know, he’s not as level headed as you or I. He has a tendency to overreact. Then, I plan on training the two of you to take over.”

As Gabriel finished his statement, an idea burst into Marinette’s head. It was risky, but it might just work. If she succeeded, then the threat of Hawkmoth would be neutralized, and Adrien’s family would be whole once again. However, this plan hinged on how Adrien reacted to all of this, but knowing her kitty, he would definitely be on board.

Marinette clasped her hands together. “How about you let me tell him? Then we can come over for dinner tonight and talk about it as a family.”

“Are you sure? We can tell him together?” Gabriel suggested.

“No, I can do it. But I just want to double-check...the only reason you’re Hawkmoth is because you want to save your wife, right? You don’t have dreams of becoming a maniacal overlord who takes over the world?” She awaited his response with bated breath.

Gabriel chuckled. “No. You shouldn’t listen to everything you hear on the news. As I said before, I’m not a villain. I do this for my family, and when I am done the world will be reset. No one will have been harmed.”

“Cool. Yeah...okay. Got it. So, I’m going to go. I guess we’ll see you later?”

“Before you leave, I cannot stress the importance of keeping this quiet. Adrian is the only other person who can know.”

Marinette laughed nervously and gave him a shaky thumbs-up. “Yeah, no...don’t worry. Your secret is safe with me! Yup! You can count on Marinette Dupain-Cheng!”

“Thank you,” he replied, bowing his head in gratitude.

She started walking away quickly, and then she stopped in her tracks. “Uhm...Gabriel? I have just one problem. I don’t know how to get out of here.”

He walked over to Marinette and placed a hand on her back. “Come. I will show you the way.”

***

Marinette had the Agreste’s driver drop her off at Adrien’s apartment. She sprinted up the stairs and pounded on his door. Within seconds, he was standing before her in the open doorway with a confused expression on his face.

“Marinette?” he asked, “What are you doing here? I thought you would be at the office all day. You said that you had to finish a dress design.”

“So,” she began, rocking onto the balls of her feet, “that was the original plan, but then something happened.”

He took her hand and gently guided her into the apartment. “What’s wrong? Are you okay? You’re not sick or hurt, are you?”

Marinette could hear the panic in his voice, and she wanted to assuage his fears. However, she knew that what she had to say would only shock him.

“I’m fine, but I have good news and bad news. Can we sit down?” Her heart started racing as she looked into his eyes.

He walked her over to the couch, and they both took a seat. “Okay...what’s going on?”

She reached out and took his hand. “I’m going to start with the bad news. It turns out that your mother is alive.”

Adrien leaped off of the couch. “Wait. How is that bad news? Did my father talk to you? Did you see her?”

She patted the seat next to her. “Please sit back down. I’m not finished.”

He hesitantly obliged.

Marinette sighed before continuing. “Yes, your mom is alive, but she’s not awake. I know how to fix this, but there is an even bigger problem that we have to deal with first. Adrien, your dad is Hawkmoth.”

Adrien calmly nodded his head and shrugged. This was not the reaction she was expecting.

“I knew it,” he mumbled.

Marinette’s eyes grew wide. “I’m sorry. Could you please repeat that?”

“Plagg!” he called out, “We were right!”

The black Kwami zipped into the room. “You owe me so much cheese right now, kid.”

“Could one of you tell me what’s going on right now?” Marinette crossed her arms.

Adrien pinched the bridge of his nose. “Ugh...where do I start? Do you remember when I accidentally revealed my identity to you by complaining about my dad?”

“How could I forget?”

“Well, about six years ago I had a bit of a mental breakdown. When you suggested that my dad was Hawkmoth, it kind of created this doubt in the back of my mind. Even though we ruled him out after he was Akumatized, the idea of him being Hawkmoth never left. I struggled with it for about a year, and it all came to a head that day you found out I was Chat. I’ve come to terms with the idea of him being a villain. Plagg helped me with that. Figuring out the truth has kind of been our secret mission for the past few years.”

“And you were going to tell me about this...when?” Marinette glared at him.

Adrien rubbed the back of his neck. “Uhhh...I’m telling you now. I didn’t want to worry you until I had concrete evidence. I could never find any proof, so I just kind of kept it to myself.”

“You are so lucky that I love you. I just spent the past hour in your dad’s creepy lair underneath the mansion looking at your comatose mother while he told me his plan to bring her back. Some heads up would have been nice.”

“Wait...why did he tell you any of this?”

“He wants me to be the new Mayura and for you to become the new Hawkmoth.”

Adrien leaned back on the couch. “That’s insane. This is insane. You know this is insane, right?”

Tikki phased through Marinette’s purse and hovered between them. “I think it’s time you told him the good news.”

Adrien’s eyes darted between his fiancée and her Kwami. “What?”

Marinette beamed. “I have a plan.”

“You always do. Let’s hear it, Bugaboo.”

“We’re going to need help, but by this time tomorrow we could be Hawkmoth free, and you could have your mother back.”

A Chat-like grin spread across Adrien’s face. “I think I like the sound of that.”

Next -----> (Coming Soon)

AO3

Fanfiction.net

——————————————————————————————

My username on AO3 and FanFiction is clslovegood47.

Any feedback is greatly appreciated. Seeing all your responses fills my heart with joy! Also, my asks are always open.

Thank you all for reading!

——————————————————————————————

Tagged Peeps:

@hermionemonica

#miraculous #miraculous ladybug fic #miraculous ladybug #adrienette #adrien agreste #marinette dupain cheng #gabriel agreste #hawkmoth #inspired fic #fanfiction #ao3

179 notes · View notes

vaguely-concerned · 5 years ago

Text

Mass Effect Initiation thoughts

In short: this book is actually really good, N.K. Jemisin is, as we all know, an excellent writer! It’s the story of how Cora met Alec Ryder and joined the Initiative, and it has SO much good good SAM content and I am full of emotions.

- poor cora is so continually out of her depth, I want to give her a hug. the points made about her in the main game are true though -- she is not ready for leadership yet. (and that’s fine! she does much better with something or someone to belong to and that is so Valid. she’s an honorable Loyal Knight!!! one of the sexiest things to be, as we all know)

I think I’ll actually like her a lot more on this new playthrough now -- she must have been quite hard to write compellingly in the game because at the end of the day she’s really very straightforward and honest and loyal, it’s quite hard to uh ‘hide’ things in her character

- alec ryder deadass installed an unspeakably illegal (and did I mention experimental?) AI in cora’s head with no informed consent whatsoever. d A D

(when cora is like ‘are you actually going to another galaxy because they don’t have laws to stop you from committing fully to your craziness in public’ and alec is like *...maybe so meme* fadsfhkj he does literally say ‘this is why I’m going to another galaxy’ out loud at a later point of the book)

- this book is giving me the good good SAM content ;________; I love SAM so much, the scene where cora thinks she’s dying and SAM talks to her? when cora asks SAM if he’s okay being connected to her because if he’s sentient that matters to her (cora is a Good)? SAM explicitly having inherited alec ryder’s sense of humour and sarcasm and alec a) doesn’t know how it happened, b) distantly thinks he should probably track that process down and turn it off (and never does) and c) regrets all his life choices when his robot kid mercilessly snarks at him and questions his life choices? please bioware give me an me:a sequel with more of this stuff I’ll eat it up with a spoon

- body diverse asari! HUGE BUFF ASARI! Short stocky beautiful matriarch asari with one krogan and one turian trophy husband fast asleep in her bed in the background of a vidcall fkdjshfkjsdlhfkjsdah god I love mass effect with my entire heart

- OLD LADY INFORMATION BROKER VOLUS WORKING OUT OF ILLIUM!!!! this is not a drill what the fUCK this is the coolest shit

- fasdklhfsjkdalfhsdjk okay in Alec Ryder POV: “I don’t think [Cora] likes me very much.” Which probably meant she had good judgement. AFLSKJDHGJSDKF ALEC

he has a weird flip-flopping sense of self -- he is uncompromisingly (one might even say... astoundingly arrogantly) secure in his own intellectual superiority and that most other people are idiots not to be trusted and that he needs to do things himself because others would mess it up, and yet there’s this clear seam of self loathing around basically everything else about himself too. (You know who he reminds me of, in a more military and less visibly anxious way? Rodney McKay. Alec Ryder is like a slightly unfortunate outcome for a McShep lovechild. I think we just figured out why I have sort of a soft spot for him even though he’s a certifiable dick lol)

- this book really makes it hit home that cora grew up incredibly isolated and dirt poor. I’ve seen some people say her backstory is all sunshine and daisies compared to kaidan and especially jack’s, but honestly her background is complicated and fucked up enough that I’m just like ‘shit baby :(’ all the time

- well I have successfully solved the puzzle about whether alec ryder is an idealist or not; he absolutely is. a grouchy, bad-tempered one with no people skills, but an idealist nonetheless. alec ryder is in fact a storm of 150000 emotions in a trenchcoat, barely held in check by a thin fragile outer shell of iron lol, SAM was absolutely right to say that he was mostly governed by his feelings. (and I mean if anyone would know it’d be SAM I guess). I found some of it sort of sweet actually: he reflects in passing that one of the biggest reliefs of no longer being in the alliance is that he’ll never have to risk other people’s lives again. he fundamentally wants to build something good to help people live and be happy instead of destroying things. (he also is quite bad at predicting how other people could corrupt and use his innovations precisely to be destructive b/c he doesn’t think that’s the ~*logical*~ thing to do, so... y’know haha, maybe it’s good he went to another galaxy, the milky way could not contain his chaos)

also he thinks a lot about his wife, even though she’s been dead for years at this point. o u c h (she truly does seem to have been a tether for him in so many ways though -- like a tie to the real world/normalcy/possibly sanity, and that’s a bit how he still evokes her)

additionally: alec ryder did fistfight at the very least one dude in the line of bureaucratic duty, and perhaps more, enough for SAM to have a list of warning signs ready and at hand jdfsklfhasdjf. he did, very much, throw a dude through a table. (at least it’s implied said dude was an asshole) I LOVE that alec’s SAM is the snarkiest iteration we’ve seen and that he’s perfectly willing to call the old man out on his bullshit (alec stresses that SAM is supposed to do what he says at the end of the day, but his SAM is also less subservient and more willing to argue and discuss things than any other we get to see -- and this is of course the SAM Ryder inherits, but I don’t think SAM is as confident in being able to read the PC correctly until a bit further into the game and the twin is of course a different person who’ll respond to different things so he’s not quite as... blunt? I guess? in confronting them about things. (the whole concept is just! so! interesting!!) anyway I feel like all of this says something about alec’s parenting style, for better or for worse haha. he sort of tries to be authoritarian but his children (well canonically at least Sara, she references having yelled at him a lot over the years) aren’t afraid to fight back or scared of the consequences of disagreeing, so I get the distinct feeling his temper never flared violently like that with his family at all, I think he’s more prone to just pulling away in disapproval.)

- I enjoy how casually diverse this book is -- Jemisin has done such a good job making sure especially the human characters are from different backgrounds and places, as they would be lore-wise in the Mass Effect universe, though the games often skew unfortunately white. (andromeda much less so than the trilogy, though)

- my heart. is so so soft for the fact that a huge reason for cora to join the initiative is how much she bonds with SAM-E. and I am so sad for her because she just wants someone or something who’ll stay, something that won’t disappear on her without closure like her parents; she’s so insecure and scared under her competence (and WHY THE FUCK WOULDN’T SHE BE holy shit her parents just. weren’t there one day after she left home so she wouldn’t accidentally crush their ship with her untrained biotics and kill them all). and she chooses alec and his dream. and then alec goes and FUCKING DIES at the first opportunity Y____________Y alternate universe alec please drink your victor sullivan juice and survive, all these dumb children need you

- I am so surprised about how much fond respect alec seems to have for cora and how quickly he developed it. I suppose he has a harder time with his own children because it’s closer to home? he is a complicated man lol, this last part of the book where he shows her the ark and everything is weirdly sweet. again I think he has the potential to be a good dad somewhere in there and that just makes it so much worse that he wasn’t. (also he staunchly considers himself still a married man. god help me)

they’ve both grown to honestly love their sams T________T fml. (well alec has sort of bound up all of himself, the things he loves and their future in SAM, so it’s a bit more complicated but my point still stands) alec advocating for a consensual synthesis is very heartfelt and convincing; you really want to believe him.

cora seen through someone else’s eyes is also SO AMAZING!!! after this whole book in her head and she feels so flailing and uncertain and adrift and other people naturally view her completely differently. I especially like alec picking up on her not talking a lot. (I think this is why she responds so well to SAM, who’ll be there always and can be in her head. I wish this part of cora was more evident in the game, the fact that she has this sibling-like connection to SAM seems very important. sequel where both SAM and Ryder grow closer to becoming her actual family? please? I keep begging for ME:A2 into an empty aching void haha)

- alec ‘I don’t have time to die’ ryder still talking about everyone else being idiots as he’s slowly catching fire while saving SAM fhdjfhsdlfhasdhlfsjd he is an asshole but it is hard not to stan

- nO SAM-E D:D:D: oh well at least he’s still alive within SAM, in a way?

- hey. hey you know what’s fun. alec tries to use his last words and last thoughts to ask cora to tell the kids about ellen being alive this time too. haha. ha. fuck

he consistently goes out thinking of his family despite all his bullshit and I’m not okay

- CORA IS A PERFECT BODYGUARD/SECOND IN COMMAND AND I’M EMOTIONAL

- alec is. surprisingly afraid to hurt people emotionally? he keeps putting off telling cora the bad news about SAM-E, to SAM’s stated disapproval lol (I must repeat again: I love SAM so so much). this supports my thesis that in his personal life he’s avoidant rather than confrontational/aggressive. (professionally... again, he did very much throw a man through a table)

- man I hope we some day get SAM being this comfortably close and sarcastic with Ryder too. thinking about SAM-E and the small differences between him and uh SAM ‘prime’ it really must have been a huge thing for him too to become someone else, especially after the last person died like that. and he kind of has no choice but to experience that loss and death intimately. (now that I think about it that’s. fucked up, man. he literally felt alec go like it happened to himself.)

If I were to summarize the differences between the SAMs we have seen, cora’s SAM-E seems younger, more exuberant, shyer and more -- what’s a non-shitty word for needy haha? it’s very firmly established that cora longs to feel needed, so this makes perfect sense. alec’s SAM is blunter, snarkier and more prone to questioning things, and hilariously is sort of alec’s emotional intelligence. (probably serves a similar role to what ellen used to, actually. ow) scott/sara’s SAM feels more worried/focused -- which also makes sense; he’s just experienced losing his person/pathfinder, in a real way he’s also recently orphaned and must be Extremely aware that he now has an enormous responsibility, not only what he was built for but for what remains of alec’s family. ...poor SAM

(come to think of it I guess one vibe I get from in-game SAM is a little bit of ’harried and anxious yet loving and responsible uncle’ hahaha)

- so at this point alec knew cora could never be pathfinder after him, and he never told her. *accumulation of asshole points continues, though I suspect this might have come from a place of not wanting to hurt her again (b/c he’s the only one who has a right to know these important things amirite)* but I’m also strangely touched that the reason he’s hesitant to involve his children in the whole thing isn’t that he doesn’t have faith in them, it’s that he doesn’t want to burden their lives with something so heavy, a burden he created. can you just imagine... if this man had managed to take the time to explain himself, his motivations and his feelings to his children just once. just one fUCKING time. am I laughing am I crying I honestly don’t know

- this book makes me ache all over for the potential of Andromeda. and I don’t think it’s too late to salvage it either. I know a sequel probably won’t happen, at least not any time soon, but... *sits by rainy window like a wife wistfully wondering if her husband will return from sea*

#mass effect #mass effect andromeda #meta #man I wish they could have gotten *this* cora across more in the game - it's recognizably the same person but she's shown better here #and also yes I am just a one person 'bring alec ryder back and give us some closure' cheerleading squad right now lol

15 notes · View notes

mayapenelopeclutterbucket · 6 years ago

Text

My thoughts while TGD 2x18 “Trampoline” aka a long ass post because I started out with no expectations and got everything I freakin wanted oh my god I’m still freaking out 😭😭 my thought process was a whirlwind lemme tell you

So a little stressed and worried about tonight’s ep with shea probably crumbling for good and shaun being in the hospital and melendaire going down the drain *sigh* but I just need to remind myself that I didn’t get so into this show and become active on tumblr because of the ships but because I love the characters and the storyline and shaun overcoming challenges of being autistic and fighting against ableism and need to remember that and remind you all to in case you’ve forgotten as well

-reliving shaun being upset was heartbreaking omg

-shaun bby no where tf is the bartender

-😂 v blunt lady and omgggg Lim making jokes about it I love her also why do I feel like this is either a hint with the “subservient” thing saying melendaire will never happen :// BUUUT why can’t it if they just have the same review/hr going going over it as well I also don’t have to have my melendaire while Claire is still his resident but I would still like moments between them OKAY?!

-🤮🤮 I’m disgusted I knew this moment was coming a dramatic kiss omg wtf I’m done already and this is so awkward omg

-yes Claire give them that look realize you LIKE MELENDEZ

-lmaooo damn morgan throw park under the bus but omg yes she DIDNT DENY BEING GAY OUTRIGHT GIVING ME HOPE OF HER BEING BI/PAN PLZZZ 🙏🏼🙏🏼

-that’s a fucking lie han, Melendez and Andrews have both challenged him and and our now backing up their boy and believe he can do it at least fucking Andrews is which is surprising because god knows Melendez has hardly interacted with Shaun or stuck up for him this season despite them having that moment in the finale last year

-a shaire moment fuck yes 😭 Claire being compassionate and inspirational as always

-I’m so in love with Claire Browne and I know I’m reading into ships too much but Claire saying she wants to fall in love after seeing l*mlendez isn’t a coincidence right?? Or is it a shaire hint which I’m not COMPLETELY opposed to if I can’t have my melendaire but if shea doesn’t work out I think Carly should come into the picture more 👀👀

-omg 😭 shaun wants to be a dad

-This shaire acting out interaction is giving me so much life oh my good it’s cuteness freakin overload

-what the fuck what the fuck glassman you’re proposing what the fuck

-I’m just looking into everything because that seemed like a parmorgan moment with him being young and can still have kids 😂 also why does Park suddenly look v young in this ep

-shaun being blunt as always I love it and so does Carly

-😂 morgan is such a kiss ass I love her and did Neil have that face because of her doing that or because he’s not secure in his relationship with lim 😏😏

-oh shaun honey why are you lying please get checked out and Claire please press him more for info

-and yes I fucking love Carly backing up shaun and doing the test for him

-really shaun is going to get in trouble for how he talks to patients but we have fucking park saying shit like that to an old woman and Morgan has done the same too in the past like really?!

-Fucking tell him lady and I can’t believe morgan is being more compassionate then someone else for once

-shaun finally opening and telling people how it is like yes let him be sad and angry before making him move on

-and shaun bby nooo the collapse has come

-what the fuck why isn’t anybody else in the room for/with shaun besides Claire isn’t anybody else worried

-gdi han hitting Andrews where it hurts he hates looking like a fool but I’m still hoping Andrews will override him like he wants and bring shaun back like I’m still so shocked he’s fighting for shaun like this

-aww finally Melendez showing care for shaun and not wanting to risk even 1% chance of him getting worse 😭

-that’s so adorable Claire getting into character for shaun and getting camera angles and movements like he does for his epiphanies and visuals

-omg Claire asking for a step stool to be Shaun’s height 😂

-ok Lea don’t say yes because you feel guilty and like you have to

-YESSS I FUCKING LOVE CLAIRE IM IN LOVE SHES SO ADORABLE AND SMART AND FIGURED OUT WHAT SHAUN SAW

-ugh shaire is being so cute tonight separately and together shaun being happy Claire figured out the diagnosis

-and this old lady was a fucking trip what the hell

-please don’t let me down Andrews like you’ve done before

-I love you Daniel dae Kim and wish your character wasn’t an asshole so you could stay but sayonara my dude

-I literally just yelled oh shit and oh my god and I still want to yell ASSHOLE ANDREWS IS NO LONGER GOING TO BE GIVEN THAT NICKNAME EVER AGAIN I CANT BELIEVE HE JUST FIRED HAN TO TO KEEP SHAUN FUCK YES OH MY GOD THIS IS AMAZING AND SO MUCH DEVELOPMENT AND SO FUCKING AWESOME FOR SHAUN TO HAVE PEOPLE BACKING HIM LIKE THIS OH MY GOD

-so now chief of surgery is available so I’m hoping from this l*mlendez moment they’ll break up or will have have tension now and Melendez will go have a moment with Claire 👀

-oh my god this is the best moment fucking ever oh my god I don’t even care that Neil did that for Audrey (which is hella surprising in my opinion) BUT THEYRE BREAKING UP OH MY GOD YES THIS IS IS LITERALLY THE BEST EPISODE AGAIN AFTER THE SHIT SHOW THATS BEEN HAPPENING AFTER THEY SLEPT TOGETHER OH MY GOD MELENDAIRE GROUP CHAT WE WERE RIGHT YALL IM FREAKING OUT SO BAD AND MY HANDS CAN HARDLY KEEP UP BUT WE WERE FUCKING RIGHT AND THEY BROKE UP BY THE FINALE

-WE KNEW THIS SHIT WOULDN’T LAST FUCK YEESSSS DUDE

-The fact that I can finally use this gif 🙌🏼🙌🏼

-oh my god yes shaun please tell me you’re going to Carly and Lea don’t have regret idk how I feel it’ll be a twist if it’s a love triangle with Shaun, whoever he’s going to ask out and Lea

-aww glassman and Debbie it’s actually cute especially since they’re real life husband and wife but y’all should already know that

-and this is not the wedding I thought I’d be getting but I ain’t mad

-omg yes yes yes yes it’s Carly YESSSSS I’m freaking out and cheering like shaun is

-HOLY SHIT THIS EPISODE WAS ACTUALLY SO FUCKING AMAZING AND ENDED BEAUTIFUL 😭😭😭

-can I just say I’m so glad Carly is back and I so fucking called her and shaun happening blessss 🙌🏼🙌🏼🙌🏼🙌🏼

-honestly just forget what I said at the beginning of this about ignoring ships because right now mine are sailing so I’m sorry if yours aren’t and imma die happy rn ok

-brb tho gotta read the 350 texts the group chat had during the ep

83 notes · View notes

kitsoa · 6 years ago

Text

The Heart of Stories Pt. 3

Masterpost / Part 1 / Part 2 / Supplementary Analysis / Part 3 (here)

Question: What is Kingdom Hearts?

Kingdom Hearts: The supreme heart. A source of immeasurable power capable of re-writing the universe and all it contains.

It is notable that we have never truly received a proper in-universe explanation for what the force of Kingdom Hearts is. We know that lesser variations of the thing have been summoned, illuminating more so the nature of its components than the actual definition of its model. The first lesser-Kingdom Hearts was the Heart of Worlds, composited in the realm of Darkness where the fallen world’s hearts amassed. The second was the Heart of Men, captured from the Heartless slain by the keyblade. Being an amalgamation of Hearts— which by this definition is the essence of people and things— makes it so that Kingdom Hearts is some kind of collective existence. As lesser iterations, these Kingdom Hearts’ do not hold nearly the magnitude of influence or power that Xehanort was wishing to attain in his final attempt. So it must be assumed the quintessential example is a force that is the collective Heart of everything.

1. A Story about Stories is a Story

In the previous section we discussed how Worlds are vessels for lesser existences. Existences whom require connection and feelings to be real. As vessels to emotions, Worlds satisfy that process of asserting existence in the Kingdom Hearts universe by functioning as Stories. The Heart of Worlds is formed by the stories it tells. Tales created by the denizens of that world. A symbiotic relationship that produces a greater, collective Heart.

So if stories are made up of the characters they hold. The even greater Kingdom Hearts— a collective Heart of everything— is made up of the Stories that it holds.

And ultimately that would conclude irrefutably that Kingdom Hearts is the Heart of the greater multiverse. And by the logic present in the previous section, that would make that supreme Heart the story of the multiverse. Fiction. Like the Worlds within it. So where is the line drawn? And what non-fiction lies behind it?

If Kingdom Hearts was about a kid jumping into his favorite Disney movies and saving the day, this would not nearly be as hard to parse. From that perspective, the concepts of emotional existence would be exclusively contained within the fictional worlds as some ground of non-fiction would exist within this hypothetical protagonist. But that isn’t the case as Sora— a denizen of his own World, is placed on the same plane of existence as his Disney and Original World contemporaries. The only thing elevating him from his World is the contrivance of a greater universe and a story empowering that traversal.

The story of a Keyblade giving a responsibility to defend these worlds. The conflict of a force looking to tarnish the status quo in some manner.

The Story of Kingdom Hearts.

The Heart of Kingdom Hearts.

Kingdom Hearts is Kingdom Hearts (2002), like Land of Dragons is Mulan (1998). Toy Box is Toy Story(1995). Olympus Coliseum is Hercules (1997). Atlantica is The Little Mermaid (1989). etc.etc.

A very obvious answer indeed. By living in a realm where emotional connection is paramount to existence, and where narratives are the vessels that contain those emotions, the Kingdom Hearts universe establishes itself as a fictional construct.

2. The Fourth Realm of Thought

This final layer of context allows for the very function of the universe to bow to the rules and whims of fiction. What was originally phenomenon functioning independently and in isolation is now completely constructed by intelligent design. A creator and author of the story— someone who exists in a newly revealed Fourth Realm of thought (Heart<World<Kingdom Hearts<Fourth Realm). The realm holding this story is ambiguous because it exists beyond the scope of the already immeasurably large Kingdom Hearts multiverse. But by virtue of containing the final bastion of narrative purity, this Fourth Realm is most certainly a World of Non-fiction.

Reality. The ‘real’ world.

Now whether this can be considered our world is an exercise in futility, especially as the literal story begins to encompass a new scope of ‘Non-fiction.’ By bringing attention to it, the story makes it fictional. So while it can parallel our reality to a science, it ultimately cannot literally make real the fictional constructs of our imaginations. It is here that I am reminded of a familiar tagline.

Take the further implications of this phrases source to heart, especially in regards to the Secret Ending, but also do note the substance. Reality and Fantasy. Non-Fiction and Fiction. This World of Non-Fiction can function as reality but is just as fake as a fantasy. That’s just the facts. Even so, the intention and conversation remains close enough to speak synonymously of our world and this Fourth Realm the Story of Kingdom Hearts expands toward.

And that’s where we can bring in the Fourth Wall.

3. The Fourth Wall

The Fourth Wall is a performance construct used in theater to denote the audience. It is an invisible, imaginary wall that divides the story from its observers and contains the narrative by force of thought and the willing suspension of disbelief. This wall manifests in variations of strength depending on medium, the weakest being live theater with a wealth of permutations below that. But ultimately, anything can break this wall and shatter the foundation of a functioning story.

Addressing the audience in some form is the sure fire way to break the Fourth Wall, but simply alluding to the existence of the barrier in the first place is enough to ‘weaken’ the Fourth Wall for lack of a better word. What we see in Kingdom Hearts is the premise of an emotionally dependent existence ballooning into an innate recognition of its fictional status. A fragile relationship with the barrier that will inevitably break should the story continue.

4. Putting it Together

Kingdom Hearts creates for itself a sort of existential terrarium. Fostering an ecosystem of self-sustaining narratives that are independent of each other, but subservient to the larger whole. It re-contextualized every aspect of the lesser story from there, functioning not as a selfish sequence of events, but as a small part to something much bigger.

Sora, as the existences transcending all stories in this multiverse narrative, is not only an average, unremarkable boy— but is the Main Character. He functions a role outside himself that makes him a driving force behind the Story of Kingdom Hearts. The leader not by action, but by existence. Or to put it in a theatrically pleasing way— the King of a Kingdom.

Light becomes the means by which a Story is seen. It is literally what illuminates existence so that hearts can connect. Gathering Light expands a story and when Light expires, the story ends. Darkness by that contrast is the process of ending stories. Destroying their relevance and meaning with with emotions unbefitting the childlike hearts that yearn to connect and resonate with them in the first place. But it is also the reason for a story’s being. From it’s consuming irrelevancy, light persists to combat it with more stories to replace what’s been lost. The original light of Kingdom Hearts that Xehanort wished to attain would be the Kingdom Hearts story in its purest, most earnest form.

Then the process of ‘dictating Destiny’ which Kingdom Hearts would supposedly grant, brings in the conversation of authorial intention and narrative flexibility. All the while speaking to a larger conversation about our place in our universe.

So when asked what is Kingdom Hearts, I think @invigoraide observed it at its most simplistic in their analysis. Kingdom Hearts is the very force that gives birth to the primary conflict of this multiverse— that which drives the story of Kingdom Hearts. The plot device. The Plot made manifest. The heart in the sky and the disc in our gaming system.

Afterward

The importance of bonds, the feelings that people share, and the ways we leave our mark on others. Kingdom Hearts has a lot to say on what it means to exist. Pain, joy, sadness, wonder— life is all about those emotions and often times we get so consumed in the day to day that we never let ourselves feel and experience and connect. The stories that captured our imagination as children gave us models on how to do just that.

The quest to define a Heart in Kingdom Hearts seems strangely arbitrary because it’s just a lore glossary term. But the earnest manner in which the games try to do so sheds light on what it really means for the audience and the people who care. At the conclusion, if my thinking is right, we learn that the heart is what binds us to each other. It is what tells the world that we existed and that we mattered. Because we are just stories in the end. And we can only be as real as our feelings reach wide.

#kingdom hearts #Heart of Stories theory #metacatastrophe theory #part 3 #what is kingdom hearts #Kitloveskh #kingdom hearts analysis

18 notes · View notes

butterfly--empress · 5 years ago

Text

VanQua Week Day III: Merge...

This is a small part from my VanQua Vampire/Fairy AU Story. Those in the Vanqua discord server already read this weeks ago. But I wanted to share this for VanQua week so I would have something to submit for the occasion. Happy reading!?...maybe...*throws long ass one-shot at tags and runs away!!

Story under cut!

“Can’t you find some idiot Fae to create an unbreakable bond with?”

The question caught her off guard, “An unbreakable bond?”

There was a sigh and she was sure, Vanitas rolled his eyes as he turned around to face her, “And you say I’m the uncouth one! An unbreakable bond, Duchess! Well I suppose you Fae call it something else? That ancient magic where two people merge their souls as one?”

Recognition lit up in her eyes, “The ribbon of fate?”

“Ugh, even your naming conventions are saccharine! Yea, that! No lucky sap to come to your rescue?”

If she had someone, she wouldn’t be in this mess, desperate for a way out of it that didn’t involve her taking Vanitas’ suggestion seriously, if only as wishful thinking, “That magic isn’t something a lot of people can do just willingly Vanitas. There’s a reason why that spell is forbidden, it has consequences. I can’t just magically wish all my problems away with a spell that’s not guaranteed to work!”

He smirked, amused by Aqua’s plight and he couldn’t help jabbing at it, “Ah, that’s the problem with you Seelie, you don’t know how to just take what you want. All this worry over complications of the heart, it’s pathetic.”

“It’s not pathetic!” She yelled this time, he shouldn’t grin, but he couldn’t help it. He struck a nerve and he felt some sort of sick glee getting Aqua all riled up. Something about the way her face made all those expressions, fascinates him. The spicy tinge to the scent of her sweet blood also made him feel heady with hunger.

“It’s not pathetic to want to be in love! To be married to someone who loves me, truly! Even if I did create that spell with someone willing to help me, all I would do is condemn myself to a fate worse than death! Only true love can cast that spell without bringing any harm to the casters.”

He didn’t know jack about love and joy, most of the time, he felt Aqua would be so much better without all her positive emotional baggage. What was the point of love if it was no different from hate or pain or sadness? Girl stuck to her principles, Vanitas guess that must count for something.

“That’s a Fae problem, if you knew any Vampires you wouldn’t have to worry about a thing,” and now he was helping her when he had no reasons to care. He had no reason to even sit and entertain her inserting herself into his life, and after a few months? He hasn’t tried to stop her yet.

“Vampires haven’t been around in ages, not after the wars,” he’s not surprised she doesn’t believe him. Her face is questioning him but there’s also hope? Some form of curiosity mixed with wishful thinking?

“And what is different about performing a ribbon of fate spell with a Vampire? Is that even possible?” Aqua was skeptical, what were the odds that she would meet a true Vampire? And what were the odds that Vampire would even deign to help her?

“Unbreakable bond and yea, it’s possible…if you don’t mind the consequences of course and unlike your weak true love bond you can always break the contract, no harm, no foul.”

“I suppose you know actual Vampires that lowered themselves to help a fairy in need?”

“I don’t know about all that, but I know things,” he got quiet after that. He glanced at her as she stared out in space before looking his way. Her energy had spiked, “Spit it out, I can almost smell that curiosity burning in your aura.”

“How does a ribbon of fate-”

“Unbreakable bond.”

She rolled her eyes, a little annoyed at being interrupted, “Whatever, how does it work between Vampires?”

“Between Vampires, it’s usually about forming temporary truces, not to invade another vamp’s territory. Sometimes clans are formed to strengthen the bloodline but there’s always an order of the masters and the servants, no different than you Fae’s silly attempts of playing at polite society.”

He continued, gold eyes looking up at the full moon, “As for anyone else? It depends on what you’re creating the bond for in the first place. Asking a vamp to sully a part of their soul usually requires an equal exchange, if the vamp in question even finds you worthy,” Vanitas moved close to Aqua, invading her personal space, he smirked, “That can be your submission, your blood…your life.”

“You’re just making that up!” She got up off the satin alcove seat, putting some distance between them and wondering why her face suddenly burned at his proximity.

He shrugged, “Fine, don’t believe me, I don’t really care, it’s not me who’s stuck between a rock and a hard place. I’m lucky, I don’t have to ever worry about following along to society’s strict obligations.”

She glared at him, “Are you making fun of me?” Vanitas could be callous, she knew that, and she learned to ignore it, most of the time but sometimes, she really wished he learned to tone it down.

“You are very entertaining; I’ll give you that.”

“This isn’t funny! I don’t!” The smirk left his face and he didn’t know why he was feeling shame. Aqua looked sad, like she was on the verge of crying, “I don’t want to be stuck in a loveless marriage…I love Terra, but I don’t want to marry someone in love with someone else and I don’t want to be given away to…to that man!”

Fury slowly crept into him at the mention of Aqua being with someone else. He was not in the mood to question his reactions to Aqua’s resistance to being tied to someone she didn’t love, “You know, the reverse works too.”

Why am I doing this? Why am I telling her this? I don’t even care about her problems! He had his own issues, none he was ever willing to share with Aqua. Making the excuse that he was hoping she’ll take his bait and be smart enough to figure out what he was, just so he could have free reign to her blood, wasn’t his only reason for doing this. He didn’t know the reasons, just that he felt this instinct, that wanted to have Aqua, “Hehe, if a vamp asked you to create the bond, they become subservient to your every command, but you have to offer something they would want to keep them in the contract.”

A smirk graced her face and something about that, made his heart stir, “What if I were to take what I wanted?”

“Hmm?” Oh, the Duchess had his apt attention now.

She sat back down next to him, looking him in the eyes, “You told me, us Seelie fairy don’t know how to just take what we wanted, well, what happens if I were to just take what I wanted from a Vampire? What then?”

“I dunno, other than they’ll be a loser for becoming subservient to a fairy without getting something in return.”

“What if I were to offer to give up a part of myself before that?”

“Well the possibilities are endless, you might actually chain your souls together and that sounds too much like your pathetic ribbon of fate magic, Fae.” Being eternally chained to someone didn’t sound like his idea of a fun time, being under dear old dad’s household was torture enough.

Didn’t stop the thump, thump of his heart wondering what would that be like, being merged with someone like Aqua, “Why? Know any losers you can chain down? Here I was, thinking you were wholesome and everything I hate about the light, I recall your plan was to form a temporary bond with some poor sap to get your pops off your back, and then voiding the contract while making a break for it far away from your controlling father.”

“Would it be uncanny of me to say, it sounds delightfully tempting?” It sounded too good to be true but Aqua wasn’t going to even fancy all she was told. She still didn’t believe anything Vanitas said but she appreciated his roundabout way to make her feel better.

“Would it be bizarre of me to say; I’m almost scared.”

She laughed, smiling at Vanitas with a soft expression, “Thank you Vanitas, you’re very sweet to make me feel better.”

His face got hot for a quick second, “Now hold on! Who said anything about making you feel better? I’m just telling you how it is,” what was up with her and her incessant need to think he was being, ‘nice’. Everything he said, carried a selfish motive, he didn’t know how to be nice, to be kind or any of that other junk if it didn’t serve him some gain in return.

“Of course you are.”

Silence reigned between them that night, a slight breeze blowing about as they sat together inside the balcony hidden from the rest of the world. As she watched the young man take a relaxed pose upon the old red satin alcove, she wondered not for the first time about what he actually was.

The thought of him being a real Vampire crossed her mind but that had to be unlikely. True those beings were still around but after the wars, they kept to themselves, opting that the best way to keep peace was to remain far away from cities dominated by Fae folk and those in league with the Fae. Many generations later and people talk about the Vampires like they never existed. Whole information about them, gone within the quiet of one night.

Vanitas wasn’t of the Fae, he didn’t carry the dark aura of a Spriggan, she was certain. But he was not of the Werewolves nor of Kitsune, neither a Serpent of some kind or an elemental. He didn’t fit the description of any known supernatural beings and that, made him quite dangerous. He did talk like he knew an awful lot about Vampires even if he was only doing it in jest.

I’m sure he was told that by someone or read some tale about it to try to ease my worries in his own odd way. There’s no way, a boy younger than me was able to find actual insight about Vampires. Especially when that information is rare to come by.

“You’re staring.”

“I’m thinking.”

“You’re always thinking, if you’re that worry, can’t you just tell your old man no?”

“I wish it were that simple.”

“Well, I guess you better start looking for a Vampire, Duchess or it’s your funeral…”

In the silence that stirred between them, Aqua’s eyes widened at a sudden epiphany. She had her suspicions for weeks now but there was nothing conclusive about Vanitas’ origins other than a sprinkle of hints that he was vastly different from other folks.

“Well, I guess you better start looking for a Vampire, Duchess or it’s your funeral.”

None of which had to do with his darkness. On the surface, the aura of his essence felt just as dark as any Sprig or other being of the dark arts.

Albeit carrying a more dangerous and volatile undertone, he hid from her. The boy was haughty and was not shy about showing off how strong he was whenever she teased or mocked his strength and power.

So, realizing this whole time, Vanitas was holding a lot of his true power back surprised her. She had to admit to herself, it did unnerve her. Beings of darkness naturally had that effect on creatures of light and every instinct in her body told her to run! To get away because she hated to admit she was at a lost to gauge how truly strong he was!

The not knowing part made her nervous and still, she remained, sitting here in this same deserted balcony hidden from the rest of the world, by his side as they take in the approaching twilight. Their own little sanctuary, the only thing that made coming to the balls held at Disney Castle fun.

Aqua wasn’t sure what was going on, but it seemed to her, the king and queen’s adopted son, was having his own rebellious stage of refusing to accept any marriage proposal his parents picked for him by accepting them all and throwing huge extravagant parties for every maiden that was chosen.

Crowned prince Sora was known to be a good child and never gave the king and queen any real worries. Aqua felt almost bad for king Mickey, Sora was working hard on turning that man’s ebony hair gray. She also wondered was their treasury safe from Sora’s wrath? Five, sometimes eight balls within a month or two was the norm, when trying to gain a prospect for marriage but twenty was excessive.

I’m rooting for your happiness Sora. While Aqua silently cheered on a mutual comrade in arms for the right to freely fall in love, Vanitas just thought the whole thing was hilarious.

“Who would’ve thought that goody two shoes had it in him?”

“Even the strongest willed have their limits.”

“All this noise over love, hmph.”

“I commend him, he’s never strayed away, always did what his parents asked of him and all he wants is to have just one thing and he’s fighting for it. I think it’s honorable.”

“I forgot, I’m speaking to the choir.”

She glared at him, not liking his sarcasm. She was already on edge since her unpleasant spat with her father, feeling hopeless about her situation. The last thing she needed was Vanitas telling her how foolish she was to still believe in love when everything about her predicament screamed the opposite, “What is your problem? You’re always talking down on people who feel and want love! You make it sound like I should feel ashamed of feeling love! Of wanting it!”

“My problem is I think love is weak!” he glared at her, love this and love that. What was so special about that feeling anyway? All he saw was how much Aqua was hurting from it, her love for her father, her love for Terra, what has it gotten her? “You talk about this love and how great it is but it’s also the thing holding you back! It’s also the thing hurting you.”

She would be better off just telling everyone to go to hell and doing what she pleased. But she wasn’t like that, Aqua didn’t know how to just say no to people and that’s why she was stressing herself near illness because she feels it’s her duty to please her father even if she didn’t want to be tied down with some stranger.

The thought of that just pisses him off and it truly was a testament of him, being around Aqua that he was learning how to hold back his anger. Strong feelings of resentment coiled down to his core, “I don’t get it, you Fae speak so highly about your love and all those positive feelings of light, but you live in a world of set rules and obligations that make you unhappy. If love is so great, then why are you so determined to allow yourself to be basically handed over as some noble’s plaything?!”

She held herself back from smacking him for being callous. Glaring at sunshine gold eyes that glared back, she took in his posture. He was almost snarling, shoulders hunched like a wild animal, like a cat, his palms balled into tight fists and she couldn’t mistake the slight glint of very sharp pointed fangs being bared at her. The bite of his words stung but it was almost like he was angry for her, though she could tell he was angry with her.

For some reason, Aqua couldn’t fathom, that made her feel suddenly ashamed and that shame wanted her to soothe away Vanitas’ anger. It wasn’t her fault she was being forced against her own wishes, into a political marriage and somehow, hearing those words from Vanitas…he was acting like it was a betrayal. She shook her head, noticing he started talking again.

“Is it because of your love for your father that you have to sacrifice what you want? Is that how it works Aqua?”

She could still feel the waves of anger, perhaps a bit of bitterness there as well but what would he be bitter about. He talked as if he knew it all, as if he knew her and her relationship with her father when in reality, he didn’t know anything at all, “Have you really never felt love before Vanitas?”

She couldn’t conceive the idea that no one had ever known of love and happiness, even Spriggan knew joy. An unreadable expression passed over his face before he cruelly smirked at her, turning his back towards her, “Hmph, there isn’t a memory in time that I ever felt this love. And if there was? I don’t want to remember because I don’t need it. I refuse to give up what I want or sacrifice my needs for others. I don’t want to feel weak and foolish.”

Their little area filled with tense silence and Aqua decided to sit across from Vanitas who seemed to be brooding. She exhaled, deciding to let it go and not let his words get to her. So what if she was foolish, so what if she sacrificed her wants to make someone else happy? It’s not for a lack of trying that she tried to beat her odds no matter how futile.

She was tired of fighting, tired of fighting with her father, tired of fighting with a boy who didn’t understand. Aqua balled the fabric of her blue silk dress in her hands. I don’t want this! I don’t want to marry that man or any man I don’t love!

Physically the fight left her, but mentally, Aqua was determined to find a way out.

“Well, I guess you better start looking for a Vampire, Duchess or it’s your funeral.”

At that thought, she looked over towards him, really taking him in as she remembered every conversation, every little spar, every little quirk that made Vanitas, Vanitas. And the wheels in her mind began turning, that sentence from their last meeting pulling her into a downward spiral of hopeless wishing and hopeless want…

Aqua had to bite back the grin on her face, it wasn’t everyday she saw Vanitas’ face look adorably innocent and she didn’t want to tell him that, having a feeling he’ll find it as an insult, but watching him sniff the air for a scent only he could smell and looking like a curious cat had her internally squealing.

He blinked before a smirk spread across his face, “This is a first.”

The statement had caught her off guard, “What?”

He bared his teeth at her, the innocent face, turning menacing while stirring fear and excitement in her, “You’re the first Fae whose blood I tolerate smelling…”

The last time she met the Earl when he came to her home.

“Ah the pretty little bluebird came to greet me, such a surprise.”

She returned his bow with a curtsey and a false smile. She already didn’t like the way, he came strutting in, like he owned the place. She didn’t like Braig at all, he always looked like he had ulterior motives. It was hard to believe sometimes that he was a Seelie and not of the Spriggan.

“Father always said to treat our guests with upmost respect, even if they don’t deserve it.”

He stepped closer to her and she took a step back, not liking him invading her personal space. He grinned, his stare, looking her over with interest, “Beautiful and a spitfire, your future husband is going to have a handful with you.”

Refusing to cower, Aqua met his eyes head on, straightening her back, “Well, you shouldn’t have anything to worry about, since it’s a problem for my husband in the far, far future.”

She was dismayed to know he wasn’t fazed, in fact his whole demeanor looked downright gleeful at her defiance, “Then I guess we’ll have to work on that now won’t we bluebird?”

Aqua quickly backed away from him at that confession. There was no way Eraqus agreed to this? He had to be playing with her. She knew her father had become like a madman, desperate to get her married but he had promised after the situation with Terra he would give her time.

Her back pressed into a wall in the corner near the steps leading upstairs and the Earl, stepped close enough to disrupt her personal space, he reached up with a white gloved hand, curling a wisp of her blue hair between his fingers, “Aww, don’t look so shocked, you’ll break my heart, your father thinks we could be a good match.”

At those words, Aqua pushed Braig away with enough force to make him stumble but not fall. She started running to her father’s office, trying to ignore the Lord’s mocking laughter at her plight.

“You made a match for me with him?!” Eraqus stood up, startled from Aqua bursting through his doors. Angry and hurt blue eyes stared up at him, wanting answers.

“Aqua, the Earl has a clean reputation, is a veteran war hero and is Lord Xehanort’s most trusted second in command. There’s no other man other than Terra that I trust to keep you safe.”

“You hardly know him!” Keep her safe? Keep her safe from what? She didn’t understand Eraqus’ sudden need to constantly insist on keeping her safe. He mentored her to be an exceptional warrior, she was on equal footing with Terra and can hold her own.

Eraqus himself deemed her better suited to take his place as Duchess when he retired and aside from small disturbances here and there, things were peaceful. No one heard any rumors of war and Lady Maleficent hadn’t made a peep for years since living under house arrest in Radiant Garden.

“But I do know my dear friend and I trust him.”

“You trust Lord Xehanort but not me? Do I even get a say in this?” She met the Duke sparingly, but she had no real impressions of him, other than she knew him as her father’s closet friend. He seemed to be a halfling, part Seelie, part Spriggan and looked like he had a lust for the darkness.

“I don’t understand why you’re doing this?” She lived with her father all her life and she never gave him any reasons to doubt her or find her distrustful. Aqua tried to search her mind for anything she’s ever done to upset Eraqus that he would push for this, “Why are you suddenly possessed with marrying me off? I knew that sooner or later you would push for a marriage for me, but I thought you would have given me time to get to know my betrothed.”

“I just will feel better if you were already married, I’m sure with time you would change your mind about Lord Braig.”

She didn’t want to marry him, she didn’t want to get to know him, that man made her queasy. She didn’t trust him at all, and she didn’t trust Lord Xehanort, but her father wouldn’t listen to her concerns about the Duke, “What have I done to upset you?”

“Aqua, please-”

“You’re not treating Terra or Ven this way, why me!” She would be lying if she said it didn’t irritate her at times, how the boys were able to get away with certain things, while Eraqus treated her almost with kid gloves, especially when she was the responsible one and had to keep Terra and Ventus out of trouble.

“Is it about the accident I had when I was twelve?” he had been more overprotective since that day, hardly ever letting her have room to breathe. If she wasn’t going on missions or being invited to keep the young princess of Radiant Garden company, Aqua was made to stay at home. In all that time, not once had she ever argued or rebelled against any of his wishes.

“You started to treat me different from before. I thought it was because you were just worried about me since my recovery took a long time but now…I don’t want to marry Lord Braig.”

“I let it go when you told me you did not want to marry Terra because he found someone else. I will not this time, you will marry him as I ordained it.”

“But-”

“That is the end of the discussion, please leave.”

Looking at her father as he closed and locked his doors, she glared, determination fueling her resolve.

“Well, I guess you better start looking for a Vampire, Duchess or it’s your funeral…”

After that, Aqua made a visit to Lady Belle, looking for a solution to a hopeless wish…

The odd fascination with her blood…

She grabbed Vanitas as he walked away from her and he quickly snatched her wrist in his hand. She could see he was struggling to keep it together, they had been talking like always and she thought she said something to offend him. Not wanting him to leave, she reached for him but now she didn’t know how to read him, he snarled at her, “If I were you, I’ll stay away.”

“Is that a threat?” This push and pull between her and Vanitas, this impulse she had that wanted to challenge him, see what he would do, scared her and made her blood pulse in her veins.

“Yes.”

“What? You’ll drain me dry of my blood?”

That ominous smirk returned before he schooled his face, staring at her so fiercely, “I just might if you keep teasing me, trying to be on my best behavior or is it that you want to tempt me to sate your curiosity?”

Her heart sped up because that is exactly what she wanted, to see if his talk of drinking blood was true or if he just loved putting on a façade of the demonic vampire.

His fingers caress her wrist and he brought her arm to rest on his warm cheek, pressing his ear to her wrist, “I can hear your life blood singing, calling to me Aqua, should I dine to take a taste?”

She was positive if she told him yes, she would be a goner…

His distaste for the sun even though his skin is naturally sun kissed and he has no problems walking under the sunshine. His body warm that it almost was hot to the touch, even though the presumption was Vampires were supposed to be cold, like touching death. The way he shies away from silver, the way his already eerie gold eyes seem to flash red at times. The merciless way she saw him kill a wayward spirit. There had been glee and a rush of anger and then a chilling, detached sense of emptiness, no remorse or guilt.

All these things scared her, but in these few months, Aqua got a little glimpse into Vanitas and how he worked. He was a familiar constant in her life and for all the cons and few of the pros she could easily list for why she shouldn’t be so near, why she should stay away from him, she stayed.

Aqua felt herself being naturally drawn to him, Vanitas was familiar and unchanging, even if he was hostile and crude most days, he hadn’t ever truly done anything to drive her away. He humored her by listening to her rants, her wants and wishes by pretending he cared and wanting to help. It was those little things he did that Aqua appreciated, he didn’t have to listen to her prattle. He was well within his right to leave her alone to deal with her own problems, but he didn’t. There was no mistaken, he did things for his own amusement, his own selfishness, but even in all of that; she wanted to believe there was more to him than what he showed the world.

“Vanitas?”

“And after staring at me for ten minutes she finally decides to ask me a question, would wonders never cease to amaze?” He had his eyes closed as he laid back and she had to wonder how he always knew when she was looking at him.

“Don’t be a wisecrack, I just have one question and I’ll leave you to continue sulking in your alcove.”

“I’m not sulking but ask away oh mighty empress.”

“Vampires, do you know how they make the unbreakable bond contract?”

He opened one gold eye, smirking at her, “Back to this are we? I thought you didn’t believe me?”

“Can you just humor me? Please?”

He sat up, turning to face her, “Alright, it can be done any number of ways but if you’re looking for the fastest and easiest way to undo the contract, you simply do a blood oath. Prick a finger, cut your hand, shake it on.”

“I see…”

She looked away from him, she was thinking and somehow that made him nervous, “What is it now?”

“Is there any reason other than maybe having access to someone’s blood that a Vampire would willingly enter into a contract?”

Silence, Vanitas looked at Aqua with a frown than looked away, shrugging.

“Well, I guess you better start looking for a Vampire, Duchess or it’s your funeral.”

Vanitas was familiar and at times he scared her, but she feared the Earl more. Vanitas didn’t try to butter her up or use fancy words to try to deceive her, he didn’t call her pet names and give her sly smirks that had underlining meanings.

What you saw is what you got. She walked over towards him, standing in front of him, watching him look up at her with unease but also questioning what she was going to do next.

“Do you still crave it? My blood?”

Vanitas glared, getting up to walk away from her, on reflex, Aqua grabbed his arm and he paused staring at her like a cornered animal. “What are you getting at?” he shoved her off, feeling his hackles rise.

A sane person would try their luck at running away. A sane person wouldn’t try to find a reason why a Vampire would divulge information that could trap them with someone, selfishly wanting to break free of their own prison.

“I grant you permission Vanitas to partake of my blood when you need it,” she stepped closer to him as he moved back, she could feel his darkness, feel his anxiety and his fear, feel rage and uncertainty.

A smirk and then that crazy laughter she only heard but once seeped out of him, “Bravo Duchess! I can’t believe you actually fell for that! You actually believed me about Vampires and now you think I’m one? Okay Aqua you got me good!”

Aqua wasn’t sane, she was desperate and determined and if she had to be confined into marrying someone she didn’t love, she would do it her way.

“Ah, that’s the problem with you Seelie, you don’t know how to just take what you want. All this worry over complications of the heart, it’s pathetic.”

He wasn’t good at masking his negative emotions at all, when he was in a state of true fear and she hated herself for what she was about to do.

“You can hate me for all time, and I wouldn’t resent you if you do but please, help me and for as long as I’m alive I won’t ask you of anything else!”

She had grabbed his face, the softness of her hands, stunning him before he felt her warms lips pressed hard to his. His eyes widened in shock, while hers were shut tight in a frowned grimace, tears cascading down her face. Trying to get a bearing on his senses, Vanitas moved to push Aqua away, but it was futile, the magic of that accursed bond had already began. A wave of so many negative emotions burst from him, suffocating him, all because of this foolish girl! It intermingled with her own aura of light, surrounding them both in a sphere of fluorescent colored lights that reminded him of the sky during the hours of dawn and twilight.

A grand magic circle glowed, pulsing like a heartbeat beneath them and chains made of gold ascended, wrapping around them, twisting and turning to form around their bodies until the chains eventually stopped to gather around their chest area where their hearts lay and while the chains had gathered and melded into Aqua’s left arm, they did the same in Vanitas’ right arm. A lock with no discernable keyhole manifested, keeping the chains that locked him with Aqua together.

When it was over, the chains disappeared, the magic circle vanished and Vanitas stood there in bubbling rage as he glared at Aqua who fell to her knees on the ground, head bowed in shame.

Tonight, was the first real night he had wanted to harm her. He had tolerated Aqua and all she was out of boredom and later on, out of genuine curiosity. There were times she pissed him off, like a lot but he was always surprised by how much his anger and annoyance with her, never had amounted to the point of wanting to physically hurt her. Yes, in the very beginning he thought of what it would be like to just drain her blood for her power, it wasn’t everyday he had an actual taste for a Fae’s blood. They smelled either too sour, salty or carried an unpleasant odor but Aqua? Just a sniff of her blood, had his fangs elongating for a bite.

She had sort of become a familiar fixture in his life in such a short time that after a while he didn’t care about if it was her tolerating him or him, tolerating her.

But tonight? He was beyond angry at what she done, and he couldn’t even lift a finger to carry out his impulse to maim her! Not because he was weak, not because she was his friend but because she had successfully done the impossible. She merged their souls together, they were bonded for the rest of their living lives and pain to Aqua, also meant he would feel that pain

Everything was just fucking great!

“Congratulations are in order! You’re the first Fae to outsmart a damn vamp! I hope you’re ecstatic!” Vanitas watched with no small feeling of victory as she continued to sit and sob. He just felt…sad, hopeless and annoyed.

“Tch, you really have no idea of what you’ve done do you?”

At that, Aqua quiet her crying, sapphire eyes looking up at him with guilt, “I can’t go back on my word, this bond I’ve created won’t allow me. Even though I know your subservient to me, I too am to you, I can’t take advantage of you so don’t worry Vanitas.”

Aqua finally lifted herself up off the cold marble floor, “But I don’t understand one thing?”

“And that is?”

“Why didn’t you stop me? You could have stopped me, and you didn’t have to tell me how to trap you. I think I never outsmarted you at all.”

He frowned, “I don’t know! I just know I’m very pissed off for letting it happen anyway!”

He could feel everything, not just his own emotions, her feelings as well were coming through loud and clear through their newly shared bond. And her aura, he couldn’t discern his own from hers anymore, her soul was literally chained to his and even if Aqua decided tomorrow or a week from now that she wanted out of this, she was shit out of luck unless she wanted death.

And because he’s a selfish bastard he wasn’t going to oblige her, if he had to deal with getting the short end of this merge, he was going to make her suffer too.

“I know…thank you will never be enough, and I apologize for involving you into my mess.”

“As long as I can have a taste of you whenever I want, we’re even.”

A slight blushed colored her face, she knows he meant her blood but still, why did he have to word it that way? Vanitas stared at her with an inquisitive look before looking away.

Embarrassment? I definitely felt that and something else? Man oh man, this feeling her feelings along with mines is going to give me a headache. He turned to Aqua with a smirk, walking by her to go back inside, “Well come on, no time like the present to give your old man a heart attack, I’m just itching to see the face he makes when he founds out his precious daughter sold her soul to the devil!”

Better to find humor in other’s suffering, that was the only way he was going to cope with what just happened. She sighed, hearing Vanitas’ manic laughter get further away. Fighting Eraqus was not going to be pleasant at all but at least now, he couldn’t make her marry that awful man. Aqua was nervous, worried and still feeling a little bit guilty. A prick of a finger or a small cut in the hand if she had just only asked might have sufficed but fear and the urge to do what she did, felt it was better this way. She sealed her fate to a hostile Vampire to get out of an arranged marriage. She smiled, the irony not lost on her that she just married herself to Vanitas and there was no love to be had between them at all.

As she walked to catch up with her little husband whose face seemed permanently set in a constant frown or menacing smirk, her heart felt lighter. She wouldn’t ask Vanitas of anything and she would never expect him to love her but in time, perhaps she could do things to show him how much she appreciates his sacrifice.

#vanqua #vanquaweek #vanquaweek2019 #hey #i'm sharing the thing #here fellow shippers #have part of a story #to an AU that NOBODY ASKED FOR #also all the cool kids are doing excellent in universe stories and fanart #so i have to dish out AUs

8 notes · View notes

dammitadolfnomorecake · 5 years ago

Text

👑🏰⚔️🐲 DMODT I was on a roll, then I fell into video games... smol update

Freya wasn't going to let Levi and keep hurting the way they were. Eren was nursing Viren when the female dragon guided a blindfolded Levi into Armin's room. Darting out from behind the pair, Luca moved to jump up next to Eren where he planted a sloppy lick against his cheek, his son's form of a kiss. Trying to ignore Freya and Levi, Eren couldn't help as he whined softly. The scent of both intruders was unwelcome, and he was confused as to why Levi was blindfolded. It was his hands that needed to be bound... after what had happened. Armin had told him he'd become nearly catatonic, not calming until he had Viren back in his arms. Eren couldn't remember much of what had happened after Levi had pinned him to bed, only that Levi had been so desperate to be with him that it scared the hell out of him, and that the space still smelt of his blood. "Eren, I've discovered a few things. I was hoping I could speak to you and Levi both over it" What could she have possible discovered that she wanted to share? No one wanted to talk about much of anything with him. Even Armin had taken up silently watching him sleep, but that kind of was because he couldn't find the effort to attempt another failed conversation with his best friend who was continually apologising each time Eren's eyes met his "I'm not up to it" Freya frowned deeply at him, Levi sighing behind her "Eren..." "No. Fuck off, Levi. You made your feelings clear. You think I'm fucking useless" Levi's voice was growl, the alpha clenching his hands. Eren's whole body tensed. Surely Levi wouldn't attack with Viren in his arms, and with their Luca by his side "I never said you were fucking useless. Freya's been talking with Hanji. They've worked out why we're both sick... why... why I went feral" So he was the last to know?! It was nice to know that no one trusted him "I don't care" "Eren..." "No. Screw you. Get out, Levi" He felt sick just looking at Levi. He hated that he wanted to cling to him. He hated that he wanted to melt into his touch, leaving him mad at Levi when he was really just mad at himself "Eren, I asked him to come with me so the three of us could discuss this. It's quite important" "It's so important that you'll mess with my instincts? I told you, Levi, they're a mess and you got mad at me" "Would you listen, Freya knows why. She knows why we aren't healing. Why my head's fucked up" Eren glared at them coldly "Why should I care about you, when you couldn't even listen to me?" Freya lost her smile, the female rider looking annoyed. It was rare to see Freya giving him that look, kind of like a scolding mother. It was the kind of look he may have copped a few times when he and Historia got overly enthused practicing magic in Draecia. Historia laughed it off, but Eren never really could. "Eren, you're in pain because your mate is dead" If he was in the mood to laugh, he would have. Levi wasn't dead. The alpha was right there, leaking out his confusing scent that didn't agree with Eren's tender head. Swallowing down a scared whine, he wasn't sure why it started to bubble up his throat. He didn't want to be scared. That's why he needed space. If Freya was going to come in and say Levi was dead, then he wasn't going to play along "Nice to know. You can leave now" "Eren, please. Obsydin's gone from Levi's mind. His sword is shattered beyond repair. You bound part of your soul to that sword. Levi was bound to Obsydin completely. Your bond essentially split into three parts, and now both of you have lost your third mate. You're both sick because he's gone now. The proof is in your scales having returned to green. The scales across your back are now gone. Levi's bonding mark has faded, and you went into heat. You had a drop, while Levi went feral trying to bond with you again" Obsydin? Obsydin was gone? Obsydin and Levi were... a combined package. If Levi was standing there, Obsydin had to be in there too... "It was hardly a true heat" It was more torture. And embarrassing... Bonding had been the last thing on Eren's mind. His body not satisfied with Levi's knot "You're both sick because your bodies are reacting to the loss of a mate. Now, I've talked with your Hanji and she's helped me understand your dynamics better. Eren is scared because his dynamic is subservient to Levi's. He naturally needs protecting, and even if he doesn't realise it, I feel he's also scared given these rooms are underground, like the cell you were kept in. Levi, you're angry because you feel both your mates have left you. Alphas are naturally possessive by nature. Your bond was broken between the three of you. You need to rebond... or mark each other" Eren growled at Freya. He wasn't Levi's bitch unless he said he was. Behind her, Levi muttered sourly "I don't think Eren wishes to bond with me" "You're both going to continue with these symptoms. Your souls are damaged from the loss of your mate. The part of Eren's soul held by Obsydin was freed of his infection, while Levi's soul all but shattered when he thought you dead, Eren. Eren's magic went out of control, causing the widespread damage to the city. Levi, you were transformed as Obsydin left your body. You momentarily lost your mind, allowing the stored magic within in you to surface. Now that Hanji and I have discussed it, we feel that it was Obsydin's leaving infection, your black tears, were what healed Eren. It's only an assumption though. I have never seen such a thing before, though that is hardly unusual when it comes to you both" As Viren released his nipple, Eren wiped his son's lips with his nightshirt before moving to burp him. Luca had decided he wanted him after all, curling into Eren's thigh "So basically, you have no real idea. Bonding may not do anything at all. This is just another experiment for Hanji" "Eren, I know you're upset, but I also know you love Levi. This could help both of you" "No. What would have helped me was if Levi listened to me, and not made fun of me for my "subservient" personality"" Eren didn't want to be mad at Freya. He didn't want to be mad at anyone. He just wanted to not be on the outside anymore. He was tired of people knowing his business before he did. Hanji was probably eagerly waiting for Levi to bite him, just for the results "Eren, please. I only wish to help you and Levi. You know I care for you as a friend. I dislike not... I don't like not being able to help you" Freya's sadness was genuine, which made it so much worse "You're not the one I'm mad at Freya. I'm sick to death of all of this. No one will tell me everything properly. I don't understand and I can't calm down. I just want to lie down here and cry myself to death" Nodding sadly, Freya hugged herself "Perhaps I was too enthusiastic over the possibility of helping you. Historia wishes she could be here, she was always a better friend to you than I, but she's watching her two eggs" Now he'd made Freya feel shittier... "No. She's where she's supposed to be... if I ask you what happened, will you actually tell me? I'm the stupid one of the group who doesn't know. I want to know what happened. You just said my magic caused damage. How much? I've seen Mikasa's cheek, I know she was hurt" "Do you want Levi to stay?" Levi was trying his hardest to beg Eren silently, despite his face being half covered. The omega wasn't sure if Levi's begging was working, or if he was just that much of a push over. He still loved Levi, even when he really did wish he could turn him into a frog. His head was throbbing like crazy, probably just as bad as Levi's, though he liked to think himself stronger for not needing his eyes covered, despite his stronger eyesight. Dropping his gaze from Freya, Eren drew his knees up, turning slightly away from Levi and Freya "Don't come too close..." Levi probably still hated himself for going feral. Whatever Eren felt about it, he knew the alpha would be feeling infinitely worse... yet that didn't mean that attack hadn't shaken him. Levi losing control like that, wanting him so badly... Now that he had a moment to process, he understood. Eren had gone into heat to bond. Levi had gone feral with the want to bond... he simply couldn't process Obsydin being gone though. Guiding Levi to sit, Freya put him on the other side of Luca, far too close for Eren's liking, but Luca was happy enough to climb onto his father, covering his face in licks while Levi tried to stop him, mumbling at him to calm down while Luca ignored his wishes. Having taken up the chair Armin had practically been glued to, Freya let out a long breath "The court asked that you not be informed on all the details of what had happened. Each of us had to give a seperate statement as to what we witnessed, and our parts in what happened at the hotel. It wasn't like we liked keeping things from you, but... well, it's a complicated situation and the world currently thinks you dead. Even Marley has been kept from knowing you both live, given we feel they were behind the attack and attempt on Eren's life" Eren closed his eyes and took a deep breath of his own. It was different hearing the truth from Freya, than from Levi. Levi had been hysterical, where as Freya simply looked disgusted over it "So it's confirmed?" "Yes. Magic was used against you. You had no control over your body, and it's the feeling from the court that it was your semen used against you. A sheet was reported missing from your room. The assumption was that it was used to carry your stolen papers, but we both know how powerful bodily fluids are in spells. We also know you and Levi partook in sex" "Partook" made it sound like some kind of ritual, and not just Eren being horny as hell. The omega's cheeks reddened slightly. He couldn't help that he was so damn loud. Levi knew how to drill him right into oblivion "Now. Levi reported that you had said you couldn't control your body. You ran Obsydin's sword through yourself. Does that not remind of you how Zeke was murdered? Run through on a sword with his partner as the witness" When she put it like that, he had to agree. Someone of considerable power had to be behind the spell, or multiple casters... "Once again, please remember we only have theories. Our theory is that Obsydin protected Levi's mind from any spell effects. We know he stabilised Levi's mind, that he brought him back from madness once the bond between you two was deepened. I'm not saying you will go crazy again Levi, though you may experience mental confusion, or forgetfulness. He is no longer there to fix any issues the strain of carrying him brought. I'm sorry. Yes. Right. Now, Eren, as you've been told you had no pulse and you weren't breathing. You were gone by the time Hanji and I reached you, despite Levi calling for me. As you'd passed, Levi lost control of your magic inside of him, while your magic flowed from you bringing storms and destruction across the city. Steege has worked to repair most of the damage, we also had some dragons fly up to help with repairs. The hotel was reduced to rubble, where we thought you and Levi dead..." "He was dead... you died in my arms..." Mumbling the words, tears rolled down Levi's cheeks from under his blindfold. Eren's heart was breaking for his mate. He'd been through it with Zeke, but for Levi... He couldn't imagine "I'm sorry..." "You were scared... I'm sorry I couldn't fucking stop it. It..." "Levi, no" "You were dead. There was so much blood" Eren knew... he knew exactly what it would have looked like too. Blood on Levi's arms. The sword run through. His fear... He shouldn't have survived "This was a malicious attack on you, Eren. No one blames you for the damage your magic caused. Now, when we pulled you from rubble, you and Levi were encased in a shell of black magic, which turned out to be made from your back scales. We believe whoever cast the spell was acting on Dina's behalf" No blamed him to his face, Freya meant. Storms and destruction had to mean there were victims. His magic had hurt people... and brought down a whole hotel. It didn't matter that it "wasn't his fault". It didn't change a damn thing... "How many... how many people were hurt?" "That doesn't..." "Freya! How many people were hurt?" Freya's gaze dropped "27 hurts in relation to the storm and collapsed roads. 13 confirmed turned to stone. Most Marley soldiers from the hotel" A broken sob broke the silence that hung in the air from her words. He'd killed more people. It didn't matter that they were from Marley. He'd killed them... he didn't even know them... and he'd killed them "Eren..." Pulling the blindfold off, Levi's eyes looked red and tender. The alpha grimacing as he raised a hand to shielded himself from the glowstone light "You didn't..." "I murdered them" "You didn't" "My magic killed them!" In his arms Viren let out an unhappy cry of his own. Hushing his son, he buried his face against his head "Whoever cast the spell is to blame. Not you. You've barely had any magic since Viren was born. If your body hadn't been taken over, this never would have happened" "I'm a monster" "You're not a monster" "I am..." Levi didn't get it. These were people who he was supposed to be ruling over, yet he'd killed them. He didn't even know their faces... They probably had families. They probably didn't even want to be in Europe... "Freya, can you take the boys" "No... please don't take my babies from me. I'll behave. I'll wear cuffs... just don't take my boys from me" "Eren, she's not taking the boys for good. It's so we can talk" "I can't lose my babies again..." "You won't lose your babies. Our babies..." "It's because I'm bad, isn't it" Moving from her seat across from them, Freya knelt down in front of Eren "You're not bad, and I'm not taking your children from you. I've heard bonding can be quite intimate, and not something to be done in front of children" Bonding. Who would bond with him now that they all knew he was a mass murderer? Despite his protests, Freya took Viren from his hold, then called Luca to follow, leaving the pair of mates sitting on the bed. Crying harder at the loss of his son, Eren threaded his fingers through his head as he yelled against his knees. He didn't want his magic to hurt people. He wanted to help them. To help everyone. All he wanted was peace, but he ruined everything he touched. Shifting closer, Levi pulled him into his hold "Shhhh... you didn't mean for it to happen" "That doesn't change anything" "It does" "It was my magic! My magic hurt and scared people!" "You weren't in control of your body" "It doesn't matter! I'm a monster! I'm a monster" Kissing his hair, Levi sighed softly "Eren, you're not a monster. The monsters are those who used that spell" "I'm a child of destruction. They said..." "I don't give a fuck what a bunch of horny alphas and omegas said. You're a storm dragon. You're my storm dragon" "But I'm not! I'm nobody's!" "You're my mate" "Who would want a mate like this! I'm fucking useless... I shouldn't have come back" "Don't you dare say that" "It's true! Why am I alive?! Why did I survive when Zeke died!? No one wants me! I just ruin everything" "I want you. I love you. I've loved you for years, Eren" "No you don't..." Levi's soft lips moved against Eren's hair "I do. I do love you" "You don't!" "I was so fucking scared. I don't remember much of what happened, but holding you. I couldn't think. I couldn't breathe. I can't live in a world where you don't exist" "You're wrong. You... should find someone better" "There's no one else..." "Then find someone... I don't deserve to live... I'm a worthless mate" All his self doubts were ruled by his broken bond. Each time he said no one wanted him, he truly believed it so "You're not" "I am! You said I am!" "I didn't say you were" "I tried so hard to help you, and you said I'm worthless" "I didn't say that" "You should find a new mate. A better mate..." Growling, Levi pulled back before lunging in and sinking his teeth deeply into Eren's nape. Forced euphoria tore through Eren, his body jerking as he forced into orgasm by the intimate action "Levi!" Crying out in pained confusion, Eren didn't know what to do. The bond forcing Levi's love through his body. Pulling back, the alpha moved to offer his neck "Eren Yeager, you are my omega. You're a frustrating fucking shit, but I can't live another fucking day suffering like this, or having you suffer like this, because we are a pair of shitty idiots who couldn't work this out on our own. Mark me" "Wh..." "Mark me. Make me yours. Make me yours and you'll never walk this Earth alone. No matter how bad you trip or stumble, I'll be there to catch you" "I..." "Mark me. If you ever loved me, then mark me" Biting down on Levi's smooth white skin, Eren's bite was much more hesitant. He didn't know what to do. He did love Levi, but what if the court wanted his head for what he'd down. Growling through the bite, Levi's lips were quick to find his, both their mouthes blooded as they kissed deeply. Sharing several long kisses, Eren broke the last kiss to stare into Levi's eyes "I don't know what I'm doing" "Leave it to me. I feel you, sweet boy. I feel your pain. Let me bond with you completely" Whimpering softly, Levi slid a hand between Eren's wet legs "Let me knot you. Let me show you you're not the monster you think you are" "I'm broken" "Aren't we all?" Straddling Levi's lap, sex was still hard on their healing bodies. Levi's eyes closed to guard against the glowstone's headache aggravating light, with Eren letting Levi control the slow pace the work because of his nausea. The omega may have slightly hoped for an instant fix, but then again, he really couldn't say for sure whether he was nauseous from being ill or nauseous with nerves. His fingertips digging into Levi's back as his mate abused his sweet spot relentlessly, already oozing precum across Levi's belly. It felt like the first time all over again. Levi's rough panting, his jerky thrusts as he neared orgasm in a lusty haze, Eren swept away in the feeling of so perfectly full. Sliding his hands up Eren's sides, Levi slipped one up to grip Eren's hair as the other forced him down enough for Levi's teeth to graze against his throbbing new mark "I'm going to come. Are you ready?" Eren was close too, mewing he felt his magic stirring, despite his current dislike for it. Placing his hands on Levi's shoulders, Levi slowed his pace further at Eren's clouding scent "Eren? I'm not going to last... do you want me to pull out?" That wasn't it. This round of sex was far nicer than his heat. His arse burning deliciously as Levi's dick swelled in preparation to flood his womb "No... I... my magic..." "Your magic won't hurt me. I believe in you" How could he possibly know that his magic wouldn't hurt him? Eren wasn't sure how it was going to react. If it would overflow like it used to, or if it'd hurt Levi and reject him because their third mate was now gone. Mouthing and kissing the new mark site, confusing him as to why he was protesting "Trust in me..." "Y-yes, sir" "Good boy... bite me too" The second marking hurt as much as the first, Eren in overload as he came between them. His magic flaring as his orgasm washed over him on the back of the waves of ecstasy Levi's bite brought. Holding Levi's neck in his teeth, he whined as Levi pulsed inside of him, his knot fully flared as Levi painting his insides with thick ribbons of his seed. Releasing his hold, Levi's hands went back to his hips to push him down firmly against his knot. The alpha so blissed out that he released Eren's bloodied neck to brag how he was going to fall pregnant with his pups all over again. Holding the moment until breathlessness forced him to release Levi's neck, Eren blinked down at Levi as he slumped backwards in the alpha's hold. Waves of emotions crashing and tumbling through him. He could see the traces of his magic sparkling across Levi's skin as it faded. He hadn't hurt him... but what was to say one day he wouldn't turn Levi to stone "I don't want to be a monster... I want to be... normal" Crooning softly, Levi pulled him down to lay along his chest. Eren scrunching his eyes closed until the momentary dizziness of the sudden position change passed. Trying to push himself up, he found no strength in his arms, leaving him to pant against Levi as fine tremors rolled through his inner thighs "You're not a monster. You're not. You didn't like killing those people, or even want to. The decision was forced upon you by people who don't understand you" "I..." "Eren, no. And no matter what happens, I'll be a better mate" "You..." "You died in my arms because I hesitated. Your bleeding wouldn't stop... I know you can't understand, but can't get it out of my head" Levi wasn't letting him speak. His messed up omega quick to anger at the alpha's words, growling against Levi's neck "I understand. Zeke died in my arms but my magic didn't bring him back... he was so scared, Levi... and the blood wouldn't stop. I don't want to cause pain" Anger turned back to grief, Eren coughing and clenching around Levi hard enough for the alpha to moan, before starting to hush him again "Shhhh... shhhh... I've got you" "I'm still mad at you" "I really didn't mean to make you feel useless. You came out of heat after being so ill. I knew you wanted to do things by yourself but you were hurting yourself" "You hurt me" "I know. I know and I'm sorry" "You... went feral. I dropped... are we really healthy for each other?" Should they have bonded? He was sure he didn't want to bond again... but there they were. Fresh bond cemented in place by Levi's knotting of him "I think it proves we both needed to bond with each other. That even if we didn't get it, our instincts knew we have to be together" "Have to" made it sound like a chore. Biting his lip so he wouldn't lash out or be swallowed further by the anger and pain that balanced on the edge of his tongue, Eren buried his face against Levi's neck "I know it's pointless to tell you, but you need to accept you're not to blame" It was pointless. All of this was his fault. Dina wouldn't have been dragged before the tribunal if he hadn't run off to Draecia alone, then let himself be kidnapped... coughing again, Levi's hands went to the small of his back "Are you going to be sick?" Releasing his lip, Eren shook his aching head "No... I still feel sick though" "Yeah. Me too. It's probably going to take some time to adjust to him being gone" He didn't know what to say to that, so Eren nosed at Levi's neck, trying to rest as much of his warm forehead against Levi's slightly damp undercut where the sweat was cool "Do you want to try get some sleep? I haven't slept since we fought..." "I want my baby" "Alright. Rest until my knot goes down, then we'll have Freya return Viren" "I don't want my baby taken again. I don't want either of them taken" Eren felt Levi open his mouth, probably to tell him that they hadn't actually taken the children off of him, but wisely the alpha didn't voice those thoughts "No one is taking our sons..." "Don't want them to... Luca was hurt and they didn't tell me" "Luca was hurt?" Levi didn't know? He thought they'd told him "He hurt himself protecting Viren" "No one told me..." "He was bleeding because of me" "No. Not because of you. When I find the arsehole who did all of this, I'm going to kill them" A shiver ran down Eren's spine, eliciting goosebumps across his cooling flesh as it did. There'd been so much death. Too much death... but this was his baby boy. Luca was innocent and he'd been through so much. His maternal instincts might demand murder, but he didn't want to be that kind of mother... though, he wouldn't say no to at least punching them once right in the nose for that they did to his boy... and maybe a second and third time for Levi and Viren. The public would probably at least like to put a name to the person who'd caused everything. Whoever it was was going to find themselves shunned wherever they went, and openly judged for their crimes. That would be punishment enough. * Eren and Levi were both still ill, but as it'd been two weeks since the incident, the tribunal had decided that enough time for recovery. Called before the tribunal, they were allowed to stay together as they stood in front of the row of strangers. Holding Eren's hand, Levi was rubbing the back with the pad of his thumb as Eren told the court of what he remembered of that day, which was next to nothing. Listening to his omega, Levi tried to organise his own thoughts. He still couldn't understand how everything had fallen apart, and the harder he found himself trying to recall the time after he'd just woken, the faster those memories seemed to slip away. He hadn't told Eren, but there seemed to holes all over his memory. Their days before Obsydin were jumpy and blurry, outside of Eren things just seemed... fuzzy. Eren's time in Draecia was nearly gone, other than the fleeting memories of the elation that each of Eren's letters would bring, the daily updates where his mate didn't mince words or shy away from expressing his opinion, despite Levi being the "prince". Then nothing from his time of wandering in Marley alone, perhaps because Eren wasn't there? If he told his mate, Eren would only worry himself back into a drop. He could feel his mate's pain through their newly reformed bond. Sometimes he could feel too much of Eren's pain, now able to tell that his omega was one bad wind away from falling back into a drop. He knew Eren was always trying his hardest to be strong, and this bond showed just to what degree that struggle was.

5 notes · View notes

bellamyblinkingrapidly · 5 years ago

Text

Rewatching S8 Pt 2: Ep2

- Dany conveniently decides when she wants to be associated with her family.

- Tyrion is super in the doghouse about his family. If Dany doesn’t kill him or something I will be surprised. I want the payoff of her fulfilling all her threats against him.

- Sansa fucking leaving before Dany is so fucking petty and I love it honestly. SANSA STARK GIVES ME LIFEEEE. I love also seeing her armor crack - when Brienne brings up her mom or when she sees Theon. It’s important to remind us that she puts on this face of coldness & that she still has feelings underneath.

- wow gendrya is so hot they’re flirting so much I’m so glad they bang

- we should’ve been knew that Arya would kill the night king bc the white walkers and NK are personified as death and Arya knows death and says “NOT TODAY” to death.

- “I’m not that person anymore” Jaime says to Bran... interesting because he literally regresses back to that person & rejects change.

- “how do you know there is an afterwards?” A little dramatic bc like only 5 people we know die. At least kill of like 10 people if you’re gonna try to say that shit.

- Jaime and Tyrion’s convo just further asserting Tyrion is an idiot and ridiculously loyal to Dany and shouldn’t be. “She’s always been good at using the truth to tell lies. Don’t be too hard on yourself she’s fooled me more than anybody” “she never fooled you. You always knew exactly what she was and you loved her anyway.” I think this has HUGE implications for both Lannisters. Jaime loves Cersei anyway and returns to her. Tyrion loves Dany anyway. But they both pretend to themselves they’ve been fooled so they can feel better about themselves.

- But as they’re talking about Cersei Jaime gets lost in looking at Brienne. Disappointing that she didn’t end up being enough!!

- Jorah is the only one to bring Dany out of her bad mood. He reminds her she can be forgiving. Presumably he tells her to make peace with Sansa. Really good showcasing of how he is truly one of the only ones who still has her total trust and can talk her down.

- “he owns his and learns from them” BUT DOES HE THOU????

- wow lord Royce was really gonna defy the queen if Sansa said nah fam we can’t speak alone wow

- I wish I could have that kind of faith in my advisors. Tyrion is a good man. Sansa sees right into what bothers Dany & she defends Tyrion. She knows the way he’s being treated isn’t fair.

“I thought he knew his sister” interesting bc like Dany could say the same about Jon & it almost makes sense why she doesn’t trust Jon’s family or his judgment of his family bc she’s been burned by Tyrion

- Dany tries to play the feminist card lololol

- this talk about Jon has to have repercussions!! And just in general the obvious disagreements between Sansa and Dany needs to pay off somehow!!! Plsssssss

- Sansa seems to figure out what Jon has been doing... playing Dany and getting her North by making her fall in love. She’s the one doing stupid things for love. But then like after this Sansa acts still just as mad... and confused and out of the loop??? Like what does Jon tell her in episode 1?? Doesn’t she figure stuff out here in episode 2?? If so, why does she act like she forgot all of that by the next episodes???

- the Theon and Sansa reunion is everything and shows us so much of Dany’s mindset and worries.

- WHY SHOW THE STARKS UNITED AND PLANNING FOR WAR TOGETHER IF THAT ISNT GOING TO BE FULFILLED?? If they aren’t going to be a united front???

- also wtf why hasn’t Jon told his siblings about his parentage

- Bran seems super important and yet does absolutely nothing in ep 3.

- why was alys Karstark around so much??

- sams super long speech about death and memory is cool and all but um does it have any repercussions or echoes or anything for plot or story at all?? They make such a big deal out of this fight and it has such small consequences and stakes.

- wow Jon really dismisses the entire room including Dany’s staff lol

- so why do Tyrion and bran talk at all?? It doesn’t do anything????? Why have pointless scenes??

- wow Missandei and greyworm will never get to go to the beaches at Naarth. Sad. What will he do when the war is over?

- have you told her yet? Oh so finallllyyyyyy Sam is bringing it up again. BUT WHY THE HELL DID SAM ADVISE HIM OR ALLOW HIM TO TELL DANY THE PERSON WHO HE KNOWS IS A CRAZY BAD RULER?? Why didn’t he make him tell his family???

- there’s so much talk of everyone dying and so little pay off for this talk. No one SUPER SUPER important and shocking dies. I mean literally all the people by the fire survive. That is insane and unfulfilling imo.

- “well my golden lion days are done” wow another comment from Jaime about how he’s changed... and yet he will regress and apparently not change.

- ghost!!! Wish it was literally any other way.... bc he’s just standing there. But I missed him and somehow I feel like when we see Ghost maybe that’s a glimpse of the real Jon... maybe Jon sending him away represents him abandoning himself or not liking himself anymore? Bc of his deceit or his loyalty to the mad queen? Idk I’m picking at straws.

- so with Jaime out of the picture maybe Tormund has a chance?

- I love Tormund so much & im so happy for this moment. But all of these moments would mean more if people died I feel.

- I fought for you didn’t I? Glad this scene happened to set up for ep 3. Glad that Arya and The Hound got to have another scene besides the blacksmith one. Also a good reminder that Beric was brought back a billion times FOR A REASON... And we find out what that reason is next episode. Cool.

- Arya doesn’t find Gendry. She shoots arrows. Something familiar and like home. Probably reminds her of her dad and Jon. Gendry finds her. Love that she plays the game of faces with him.

- wow gendrya sex scene is everything

- still mad about no stark goodbye scene before the big fight - they didn’t even get one later like before KL HOW DARE U NOT GIVE US STARK GOODBYES AND STARK SIB SCENES

- wow so Tyrion was right about something “I think we might live”

- “fuck tradition” wow I love Tormund and Jaime. This moment is like the best in the whole season. Brienne becoming a knight is BEAUTIFUL. That look Pod gives her. Ugh. My heart.

- I actually wish that all that happened between Jaime and Brienne was the knighting scene. Because it’s so perfect and sweet. And since he leaves her to go back to Cersei bc he loves Cersei... it just ruins everything and leaves her so vulnerable and him looking really kinda sleazy imo. I just would’ve been totally content with their relationship just being this: mutual admiration and respect and encouragement.

- Lyanna and Jorah die ending house Mormont. I guess that’s the point of their scene? So um where’s Heartsbane now??? What was the point of this?? Sam didn’t owe Jorah anything. Sam saved Jorahs life because of the lord commander. Jorah serves the queen who killed Sams family. Why would Sam even give him the sword in the first place? What was the narrative purpose?? This sword protects Dany the woman who killed its previous owner. Like ???

- this sad montage is cool and sad but we only lose like Theon and Jorah from the next episode... so it just makes everything seem super dramatic with little payoff.

- Dany doesn’t apologize for being in the crypts. Annoying. I love that Dany thinks she knows what he’s thinking... oh that’s the stark my brother raped. Whoops.

- Jon is legit confused or frustrated by her response. Like he expected her to be happy to know she has family. But she’s actually just worried about the claim. So I think he didn’t quite know what she was before now. This to me reveals Jon believes she’s better than Cersei, will be a decent queen, but she has a temper and can be super vicious to those she deems as an enemy. I think Jon overestimates her desire for or love for family. She’s never had a family she could trust and love. Whereas family is everything to him. I think saying “Dany” is calling her something familiar as an equal. Whereas he goes back to “my queen” later which is super subservient.

2 notes · View notes

charlieashwell · 6 years ago

Text

F U T U R E R I T U A L response

A commissioned response to F U T U R E R I T U A L (Arnolfini, Bristol, October 2018). Photo by Asher Fynn, of DAS GLAMOUR.

I cannot take the future, or ritual, for granted. A future ritual is something we do together and I definitely don’t agree with all of you. How to be together, then? How to remember what we came for?

In order to watch, to be there, receiving, thinking with, thinking about, F U T U R E R I T U A L - a series of performances, a series of series, a plural in the singular, a singular plurality, a thread, a plait - I’ll agree to disagree; to struggle, to writhe, to wiggle with my eyes and words, to embrace partiality, to allow the risk of cliché, the cliché of risk, to bounce off my burning body and onto yours.

The body burns because it’s embarrassing to watch performance, to perform audiencehood, to acquiesce to encounters you never sought out or imagined; to allow intimacy into square feet you would rather keep for yourself; a fragile, unsafe self. The mutual suspension of comfort for something else is perhaps the most precious ritual of all, though, so for now I agree to be thrown sideways into other people. Into other people’s futures. Into other people’s rituals. Let’s begin, I think. I stop thinking.

Kitty Fedorec has a suitcase of cassette tapes. She’s gothed-up, wig flying in our faces, daring us to diss or squirm or admire too lovingly, revealing our own fandoms, our own dominions. I lean forward. There are atlases on the floor. She stands on them. A string of dances, steady and studied.

She dances in defiance of something and I wonder whether every dance ever is in defiance of something. I think about my recent desire for only dances, no dancers. She speaks about mental health and feeling under constant threat. She speaks about the nation state being unwell. “The nation state wishes it was an eagle.”

She conducts a participatory war game with two audience members and I think about individual identity within and against national identity; the requirement to participate in nationhood, to “be a good sport”. I feel caught out; I’ve said ‘yes’ to this; to party politics; to paying taxes; to pressing send; to submission. Perhaps we can’t make art without making conversation with the parasites; the war machines. We’re already good sports for turning up, turning out, turning our love for possibility into social capital. To turn away is to taint the possibility of togetherness actually being pleasurable at some point in the future. I wonder whether the nation is always doomed to make war, whether the individual is always doomed to be a national treasure, whether outbreaks of violence are always synonymous with war and what would it be to violently break the state, our collective state of loneliness; the individual, the art institution, the dancer, the family, the monarchy, the dutiful subject, the artwork-as-commodity, the infinite misunderstandings of each other, into a billion shards? I wonder about this country. I wonder how to get rid of the billionaires. I wonder about sunken ships. And sunken desires for escape. How to raise them from the bottom of the sea?

I can’t remember how she ended up naked, but I do remember her singing with her band, which suddenly arose from the corner of the room, like solid ghosts. Gold leaf falls off her face. She’s only wearing a biker jacket, and a pair of Ray-Bans. I want to hang off her. Every word.

Joseph Morgan Schofield acts with and upon their body, calmly not-so-calmly piercing skin as if it was fabric. Not-so-calm because it requires me to be there, the witness, diluted in my witnessing, distracted, wanting rather to drape myself over the person next to me and breathe only in for a while, as Joseph takes care of breathing out. Or is it the other way around? Joseph does the breathing in, we do the breathing out. The tip of my tongue presses lightly into my front teeth and I suck the sides of this stupid, mute, always-active organ inwards, creating a rush of cold air between top and bottom jaw. “Thssshhhhhh.” Would I bite the bullet? Would I grab the needle? Would I feel pleasure? I feel only their body matters. I feel heroic for not running up and saving them and then I feel stupid and then I feel sad and then I feel brave and then I feel hot. We’ve all agreed to watch and learn. We consent to every moment because they’ve consented to the longest moment and all the moments and all the labour before and afterwards. The cleaning, the white flannel that turns red, the tentative, too-casual post-show discussions, the avoidances, the calm after the storm, the storm swirling above and around us as they tip hot wax onto their arm.

There’s a tension between action and impact, reaction and smooth, calm observation. Body as observant subservience. Malleable bloodstream. Tightening skin. Decisions made long ago coming back to serve us an enormous platter of fuck-the-present, hold-on-tight, simply-close-your-eyes-if-you-need-to feeling.

I’m starting to really want a tattoo.

DAS GLAMOUR are two but actually three people. I’m reminded of a Twitter meme about an imagined future with no men. Funny how fast a group of three becomes societal in scale. Perhaps I’ve re-internalised the compulsion to reproduce that haunted me for a while between 2014 and 2017. I can see them reproducing like spider plants - asexually - which isn’t to say they don’t have sex, but that sex is at last discontinuous with making babies - before and beyond my eyes and into a future beyond patriarchy, a world and word that feels so vintage already. Perhaps I’m getting ahead of myself. Perhaps you’re not ready to sign up to this spider future. In any case, I’m not entirely sure how we get from here to there without killing anyone - cookshops of the future, etc - so for now I’ll scale it down and focus on these three; this time.

It was 2018. It was autumn. I was wearing black. I was squatting, open-mouthed, with a group of other open mouths in a recently-defunded arts space to watch silently one of the most unapologetically constructivist, bish bash bosh, open-heartedly curious, in-love utopic, choreographic body-voice-drum-song works I’ve ever squatted open-mouthed in front of.

They yodelled. They stood on boxes. They stamped. Their voices were clear and calm and technical and guttural without the machismo of musicians and definitely none of the desperate, aspirational subjecthood of dancers. They just sang because singing is an animal faculty. They moved because moving is in them. Because singing and moving and drumming are pure vibration. Pure desire.

Are they the vision of a future with only dances, no dancers? Who is the artist here? Who is the muse? Who has been taught? Who did the teaching? Who downloaded the holy text and from where? Who is this serving if not everybody? Who are they if not the ghosts of a future ritual without the need for fixed meanings or labour-as-we-know-it or nations or property or anxiety, except the continuous consideration of which pleasure we’ll take next?

Is there violence in dragging ritual from its deep history and chucking it into the future? Or chucking the future upon it? Maybe. But then I’m not much of a pacifist. I like things that smash together. I like shards. I like to read futures from fragments. We’re all witches here, DAS GLAMOUR seem to say, and don’t care for our agreement or disagreement. Just that we’re here. And it’s not that special. Perhaps performance isn’t that special, just unusual.

How many times have you slipped through time into a dark room to watch silently the glitter, the reddening skin, the guitar strings, the erotic implications, the lighting rig, the other nervous witches? Let’s assume there is the potential to agree on a future. Or many intersecting futures, at least. You cannot produce your future separately from mine, or theirs, so don’t even try.

DAS GLAMOUR sing, and their song stays with me:

“desire, desire, desire, desire, desire, desire, desire, desire, desire, desire, desire, desire, desire, desire, desire, desire, desire, desire, desire, desire, desire, desire, desire, desire, desire, desire, desire, desire, desire, desire, desire, desire, desire, desire, desire, desire, desire, desire, desire, desire, desire, desire, desire, desire, desire, desire, desire, desire, desire, desire, desire, desire, desire, desire, desire, desire, desire, desire, desire, desire, desire, desire, desire, desire, desire, desire, desire, desire, desire, desire, desire, desire, desire, desire, desire, desire, desire, desire, desire, desire, desire, desire, desire, desire, desire, desire, desire, desire, desire, desire, desire, desire, desire, desire, desire, desire, desire, desire, desire, desire, desire, desire, desire, desire, desire, desire, desire, desire, desire, desire, desire, desire, desire, desire, desire, desire, desire, desire, desire, desire, desire, desire, desire, desire, desire, desire, desire, desire, desire, desire, desire, desire, desire, desire, desire, desire, desire, desire, desire, desire, desire, desire, desire, desire, desire, desire, desire, desire, desire, desire, desire, desire, desire, desire, desire, desire, desire, desire, desire, desire, desire, desire, desire, desire, desire, desire, desire, desire, desire, desire, desire, desire, desire, desire, desire, desire, desire, desire, desire, desire, desire, desire, desire, desire, desire, desire, desire, desire, desire, desire, desire, desire, desire, desire, desire, desire, desire, desire, desire, desire, desire, desire, desire, desire, desire, desire, desire, desire, desire, desire, desire, desire, desire, desire, desire, desire, desire, desire, desire, desire, desire, desire, desire, desire, desire, desire, desire, desire, desire, desire, desire, desire, desire, desire, desire, desire, desire, desire, desire, desire, desire, desire, desire, desire, desire, desire, desire, desire, desire, desire, desire, desire, desire, desire, desire, desire, desire, desire, desire, desire, desire, desire, desire, desire, desire, desire, desire, desire, desire, desire, desire, desire, desire, desire, desire, desire, desire, desire, desire, desire, desire, desire, desire, desire, desire, desire, desire, desire, desire, desire, desire, desire, desire, desire, desire, desire, desire, desire, desire, desire, desire, desire, desire, desire, desire, desire, desire, desire, desire, desire, desire, desire, desire, desire, desire, desire, desire, desire, desire, desire, desire, desire, desire, desire, desire, desire, desire, desire, desire, desire, desire, desire, desire, desire, desire, desire, desire, desire, desire, desire, desire, desire, desire, desire, desire, desire, desire, desire, desire, desire, desire, desire, desire, desire, desire, desire, desire, desire, desire, desire, desire, desire, desire, desire, desire, desire, desire, desire, desire, desire, desire, desire, desire, desire, desire, desire, desire, desire, desire, desire, desire, desire, desire, desire, desire, desire, desire, desire, desire, desire, desire, desire, desire, desire, desire, desire, desire, desire, desire, desire”

2 notes · View notes