#i think it's funny to project aspects of what i was like in middle school onto penny

[wildflowercryptid]

VERY IMPORTANT HEADCANON : penny would definitely cut thumb holes into the cuffs of their hoodie.

[longing-for-rain]

I think you're wrong saying that zutara is a ship exclusively by women for women while kataang is only liked by sexist men. There's a lot of support for zutara on site like 4chan of all places. If anything, men prefer to self insert as the "giga Chad" zuko than the "beta male" aang

Meanwhile the vast majority of kataang fanart I've seen where drawn by women, just like zutara.

I never said that it’s exclusively shipped by women, just that women tend to prefer it.

And you’re right, but you’re biased based on where you’re looking. Male dominated sites like 4chan are exactly that…male dominated. Any fandom stuff you find there is almost certain to be created by men. You’ll also find that the way men interact with fandom is either very canon centric or fetishistic. I’ve actually run into some of those “giga Chad Zuko” types and the funny thing about them is, some of them hadn’t even watched the show. It was based on appearances only, and yeah, knowing nothing about the characters, men will often choose to self insert as the manly hot one for their nasty rule34 fantasies. You’ll also just as commonly see kataang (I’ve seen some absolutely disgusting kataang shit), as well as Zuko shipped with every other female character (including his mother and sister) in those types of environments because it’s purely appearance based. It’s just a bunch of creepy men drawing their self insert with their crush.

On the flip side, (non-pornographic) fan art is almost always drawn by women, especially if you’re on a site like tumblr or twitter. That’s true for any ship.

What I have noticed, however, is that on forums like Reddit that are also very male centered, kataang is always most popular. And it’s very easy to see why—Aang as a character was literally designed for young boys to project onto. He represents a character the target demographic of the show in 2005 (young boys) are supposed to relate to. This also results in the (male) writers giving him “relatable” struggles such as not being liked back by a crush. Her feelings aren’t centered because they are not relatable nor important to this target demographic. Then, these men who saw the show as boys grow up and retain that relatability aspect, and feel somehow emasculated by the idea of “the girl” choosing a different man. This is why kataang has historically been criticized as a male centered ship, because the whole dynamic and narrative surrounding it is based around this male fantasy of bothering your crush and being such a NiceGuy that she *has* to like you back eventually. Like I said, it was literally written that way, to be relatable to middle school aged boys.

Female kataang shippers are a whole other can of worms, but let’s just say they’re basically the BoyMoms of fandom. My precious baby can do no wrong, he’s a literal angel, nothing is ever his fault, telling him no is bullying, girls who get upset with him are just lying b*tches trying to destroy his life, etc. etc.

[paradoxcase]

John 5:1

THE TOWER HAS REA

Honestly, if regular necromancers had this ability to stop bodies/meat from rotting like this, that would be something that like fundamentally changed some aspects of society, like feeding people becomes much easier, you don't necessarily even need things like salting or refrigeration or freezers if you have a necromancer on hand, and maybe necromancers wield power in society because without them there's no fresh food? But I don't get the idea that that's the case in the Nine Houses, Ianthe didn't learn how to stop apples from rotting until after she became a Lyctor, and she's actually a flesh magician, unlike Harrow who we can expect probably knew very little about anything to do with meat

I've been thinking throughout these segments that this is starting to sound more and more like the story of how John became the Unabomber, and this is making me think that even more. Come to think of it, Kaczynski also had an advanced degree, didn't he?

Apparently that's a NZ secondary school qualification, I guess he's talking about Pyrrha's level of education here?

It really all keeps coming back to Weekend at Bernie's with this story, doesn't it? And yeah, like someone pointed out, John should know about that movie, I'm surprised he hasn't mentioned it at all

This can't be foreshadowing, because that part of the book already happened, but it's like, I dunno, aftershadowing or something of how Mercy and Augustine also teamed up to kill John even though they hated each other

I think there's a limited number of nations this can actually be for John to be able to recognize the head of state and also for this to be a "big political conspiracy". I think maybe just the US, UK, Russia, China? It has to be one of those, right? Maybe John would recognize politicians from Australia, too, but I don't think anyone would really care all that much if one of them died. And at least in the US, there's a designated line of succession precisely so that if the president dies it doesn't cause political turmoil like they seem to think would happen here, and I bet the same is true in the UK, and I don't think there would be any political turmoil if the actual king of England died, either. So probably it has to be Russia or China, right?

It's kind of funny that this is like, exactly precisely all the right-wing conspiracy theories about how Biden is secretly dead and they're just parading around a fake or a body double or something

I mean, we're already in the middle of an extinction event, like, right now in the real world, and have been for a while now, humans have been causing extinctions ever since we hunted the megafauna to extinction back in the stone age

I don't get why they argued for this. Isn't this to get funding for the cryo project? What could they possibly need more than actual cash? Wasn't the point to just get money? What do they actually need a nuke for? Is this just because of Pyrrha encouraging John to become the Unabomber?

[purplewitch156]

hello I love your works!! especially Of Your Making!! you mentioned that was your first fanfic; what were some of the struggles you experienced if you don't mind me asking? any writing advice you could give for a new writer?

I really appreciate getting your ask today because I’m having an extremely irritating weekend, but this is a good step in the right direction, so thank you!

You know what’s funny, I didn’t struggle with Of Your Making, which is weird because it’s typical to run out of steam or enthusiasm while working on a project (especially large projects) or to come across bumps in the story’s structure or plot or characters that completely derail the creative flow. But that never happened in OYM. Even when I didn’t know what the next scene was going to be or what was going to happen after the Carcerem, I figured out answers to those questions startlingly fast. And I think I know why.

OYM was my fourth full-length story. The ones previous were all original works that were geared toward young teens (I was trying to make a career at it; I’m not trying anymore). And one of the things that you’re told when you’re trying to make a career out of writing is to brand yourself. Find your audience and write to that audience. Your fans will know what to expect from you and they will (theoretically) read your future publications. I was writing stories that naturally fit in with the middle school crowd so that was who all my future stories needed to garner to. The problem was I felt stifled and stuck. I wanted to write more adult themes, but I felt that I couldn’t. Now, I could have made a new pen name and published under that. That’s totally acceptable and something that many people do, but I was also coming to terms with the fact that I wasn’t having fun writing anymore. I didn’t like the pressure and expectations I was putting on myself and so when I started my first fanfic, all those problems that were attached to original writing weren’t there anymore. It was like I was able to breathe again. I felt free in a way that I had not felt in a very long time. And best of all, I was having fun. And I think it was because of this that OYM was one of the easiest stories I’ve ever written. It was the most self-healing writing experience I have ever had simply because I removed all my rules and judgments and wrote for myself.

My advice to new writers:

Number 1: Study stories. This doesn’t have to just be written stories. This can include movies or video games. Pay attention to aspects of a story that you like and aspects that you don’t like and try to figure out why you like the bits you like and why you don’t like the bits you don’t. I’m not saying you should be overly critical about all the content you consume! Just become a bit analytical. A bit curious. If you feel like something’s missing or something didn’t quite work or something pulled you out of the immersion, try to pinpoint it. Try to figure it out. The same goes for the stuff that sucked you in. Try to figure out how it sucked you in. Why it sucked you in. The more you do this, the more it becomes second nature and the more you’re able to implement the stuff you like in your writing and dodge or spot the stuff that’s not working.

Number 2: Pull from yourself. I don’t mean to write everything autobiographically, though you can do that if you want. I’m more talking about pulling from your own experiences. For example, we all know what fear feels like. We all know what happiness feels like. We know what it’s like to make a new friend and what it’s like to lose them. When we read these experiences and feelings, we connect with the character more. We empathize with them. We understand them. We’ve been there, too, and because of that the story resonates stronger. Take this comic by @sarahseeandersen:

It's funny because it’s true.

I hope I was helpful. I’ve actually been reading Invisible Ink, A Practical Guide to Building Stories that Resonate by Brian McDonald and I’m finding it to be quite fascinating. He can be a bit forceful and rule-focused, which makes sense. He’s teaching you how to do something and having a structure or strategy is super helpful for that. So if you decide to read it (and I do recommend it) take his advice (and really, anyone’s advice, mine included) with a grain of salt. Writing is meant to be explorative and creative. And fun. Most especially, fun.   

[angsty-prompt-hole]

WIP Question Tag Game

Tagged by @ceph-the-ghost-writer

Rules: Answer as many (or as few) of the questions about your WIP as you can.

Tagging: I'm leaving this as an open tag

I'll be answering all of them for A Hero's Call.

1. What was the first part of your WIP that you created?

The very first part of A Hero's Call that I created was the concept of dimension jumping in general. It was inspired by both the ghost portals from Danny Phantom and my middle school self's mighty need for crossover content from my favorite shows, and then I kind of just made a self insert to make those crossovers happen, and that self insert evolved into Kira.

2. If your story was a TV show, what would the intro song be?

So, when I was young and naive and didn't know how filmmaking worked, I wanted A Hero's Call to be a tv show. The intro song was always gonna be some sort of early 2000's rock/emo/metal song, and I almost always came back to In The End by Black Veil Brides. And honestly, I still stand by that.

3. Who are your favourite character(s) and why?

So, I love Kira, I really do, she's the main character after all. HOWEVER, my blorbos for the series are definitely Lucent and Cairn, which is really funny if you have the knowledge I do (that knowledge being that Lucent has ice powers and Cairn has fire powers). Lucent was a character I originally made to rp with some friends without having to use my already established characters, because I was weird and had stupid hangups about sharing my work, and she's kind of become my punching bag OC of the series which is how I know she's one of my favorites. I love making her go through physical and emotional torment.

Cairn is just fun for me to think about conceptually, because he's a villain that really could have chosen redemption, and he almost does at quite a few different points in his life, but ultimately he succumbs to the cycle of abuse and gives in to that darker side of himself. Also the thought of this very inhuman-looking dude having a Tumblr is SO funny to me (he is canonically VERY internet-savvy).

4. What other pieces of media could share a fan base with your WIP?

Any number of media pieces tbh, but the biggest one would probably be Buffy the Vampire Slayer, which was a HUGE inspiration for this project.

5. What has been your biggest struggle while writing your WIP?

Writing the beginning of it. I've struggled so hard with it and I can never figure out what's holding me back, which annoys me. And the more I write the more I discover that when I have all the pieces to a story that I want to tell, the writing starts flowing eventually. But with this WIP I've just had to drag those first few chapters out kicking and screaming from my brain and I can tell something is missing, but I don't know what.

6. Are there any animals in your story?

Yes, there are. There's the Shade family dog, a golden retriever named Gary (who is, in fact, just my real dog inserted into the story), and there's also Lucent's "pet" Jannik, who is a ferret-like creature called a skitnik. Emily and Pickle are ranch kids so they have a ton of animals that sometimes get mentioned, but Gary and Jannik are more central to the plot than those animals are.

7. How do your characters get around?

All the normal ways you would get around in rural Wyoming in the 2010's (cars, horses, off-road vehicles, etc). And, of course, dimension jumping.

8. What part of your WIP are you working on right now?

I'm rewriting the first few chapters (again) to try and get them ready to post on AO3 because I've been churning out fanfiction nonstop because of how much the kudos and comments go to my head, so I want to see if putting my original works on AO3 would spur me on to work on them more.

9. What aspects of your WIP do you think will draw people in?

I think that the characters and the worldbuilding will be the major draws for people, cause I have a LOT of lore and a lot of fun characters to introduce and I think it'll be fun for people to explore.

[sugaredcosmos]

Why Minecraft is boring to you now

I keep seeing this notion online of "Mojang is lazy" and "refuses to put good content into Minecraft". I feel this claim is motivated by a lack of understanding about Minecraft's nature as a game and just how much it differs from most of the other games out there. Like Minecraft is incredibly unique within how we understand what the medium of video games even is, especially when it first came out. It's a game with no goal and it doesn't tell the player what they can and cannot do. it just gives you a set of tools and a palette of blocks and lets you do whatever you want with them.

Because of Minecraft's nature as a game with no expressly stated goal the idea that the game "lacks new content" is sort of a pointless claim. If the point of the game is that the player is the one making content for themselves, what content should the devs add?

"Content" from a traditional game design standpoint is some abstract thing that the game is telling the player to get through. In some cases the player gets some kind of extra items or abilities, and in others it's just "content". So then how do you add "meaningful content" into a game like Minecraft? You might say that they could add an extra boss, or another dimension much like many of the community made mods do. But then you come to the problem of how you implement something like that while keeping the game's identity intact. And then you come to the conundrum of what even is Minecraft's identity?

The first time I was presented with such a conundrum was in middle school. Mojang had just been bought out by Microsoft and the game's future was called into question by many of the people that I talked to at the time. I remember someone saying that they were going to add crossbows into the game and that made me uncomfortable for some reason. It felt to me like crossbows, for some reason, would somehow make the game less like the Minecraft I knew and played.

What's funny is that I was kinda right. Ever since 1.9 I feel like Minecraft has been getting the ship of theseus treatment where every update some aspect of the game changes that moves it away from what I knew as "Minecraft". And, writing this now, I realize that it's always been this way. This was before my time but supposedly there was backlash at minecraft beta 1.8 and the direction the game went following it from the playerbase that played it in the days preceding it. Subsequently, my sort of "generation" within minecraft's rotating main audience (around 1.0-1.8.9) largely stopped playing after 1.9 came out and changed the combat and added stuff for after the ender dragon was killed. I feel like the cycle repeats every few updates or so, and I think we just crossed another one with 1.20. Not expressly because of that sort of ship of theseus effect, but from the aforementioned perceived "lack of content"

I say this because I feel like minecraft's resurgence in 2019 and 2020 put pressure on the devs from the newly brought back playerbase that had been sort of steeping in an increasingly exploitative understanding of game design in most of the more popular triple a games while simultaneously developing their critical thinking skills through late middle school and high school. This, I think, led to a lot of people in my generation thinking that every game should follow this rigid structure of a loosely defined "progression" until you hit the final boss.

Thing is, this is nothing like how minecraft was played back in the day for me. From both what I played and the creators I watched, the gameplay loop of minecraft was to basically start your own building projects and just keep doing that whenever you got an idea. Now, people as adults having their creative minds obliterated by the machine of capitalism (not to mention the failures of the education system under capitalism primarily teaching kids how to be cogs in the machine rather than a fully formed and nuanced human being especially in the cases of how much art and language arts classes are devalued within both academia and life under capitalism, but I digress) erasing any self confidence in themselves to make something beautiful and good in addition to the constant presence of much more experienced builders online for the average player to compare themselves. What this leads to is a depressing loop of making a new world, building a house, finding diamonds, maybe beating the ender dragon and then quitting not knowing how they were once able to find so much joy in a game that is noticeably absent in their life now.

People now are more than ever conditioned by capitalist society into getting a hit of dopamine out of being told to do a task and then doing it, and that trend in everyday life leaks into what players subconsciously want in a game which then shapes game design and honestly it's really depressing.

So then the problem isn't minecraft's game design, or that the game's identity has changes, or the supposed "lazy devs". It's us. We live in a world fundamentally built around heirarchy and being told what to do and that expectation is so deeply ingrained in our own identities that when we're given the freedom to literally do whatever we want we become paralyzed and get bored at whatever endeavor we choose.

Try playing Minecraft again. Try it again with all of this in mind. It'll quite literally change the game for you. I know it's doing that for me.

TL;DR: The reason you don't enjoy Minecraft anymore is because capitalism sucks.

[girlfriendsofthegalaxy]

tuesday again 11/29/22

reminder that this project is taking 12/13 off and will return 12/20. or, two weeks from today, we will have a one-week break.

listening

this booster shot knocked me flat for a day longer than anticipated, so i watched the first two seasons of adventure time in something of a haze. very funny to watch these first two seasons of largely unconnected episodes find their footing and tone, and think about the huge eight-episode arcs in the back half of this show's run.

the credits song, Island Song (Come Along With Me), is one of like. three songs that instantly make me feel safe. a well-loved picnic blanket of a song.

-

reading

not a fallow week but i haven't gotten far enough into the 1920s cowboy novel i picked up to have coherent thoughts about it. except for: why do cowboy movies and books always want you to know that a man isn't like Hot hot. but he's still the hottest guy around. get a load of this handsome piece of 100% american beef. who is a little rugged from his time on the range but he has nice eyes and knows what soap is we PROMISE. have we talked about his stubborn yet classic jaw yet

as a consolation prize for no new cowboy thoughts, chief henchwoman/blogging assistant mackintosh is interviewing her own assistant today. third round! we'll see if he makes the cut next week when she plans on extending job offers

-

watching

nonspoilery A/ndor thoughts. i can't really do the "what worked for me, what didn't, why, and what do i think this work is trying to do" bc the finale dropped too recently for anyone to want to read a wall of rot13, and i am unable to be objective about S/tar Wars.

i really really really liked this show. head and fucking shoulders above any other recent S/tar W/ars (henceforth SW) show in writing and production. GOD i love watching some leftist infighting when it doesn't affect me personally. the gunfights are never just gunfights, there's always something environmental going on that everyone has to work around. DAMN this shit fucking hit for me!!!

rot13 below for an arc much earlier in the season

yvxr bs PBHEFR gurl uvg gur vzcrevny dhnegreyl cnlebyy!!! guvf vf fb zhpu zber onat sbe gurve ohpx guna fgrnyvat jrncbaf be grpu, op nf jr unir frra jvgu gjvggre, jura lbh'er abg noyr gb cnl crbcyr ba gvzr be nf hfhny lbh ybfr n GERZRAQBHF nzbhag bs tbbqjvyy. rira n qnl yngr jvyy frevbhfyl shpx jvgu crbcyr'f yvirf, naq neenatvat nygreangr cnlzrag va culfvpny pheerapl vf tbvat gb gnxr SBERIRE. ubyl shpx guvf jnf fhpu n tbbq pubvpr gunax lbh sbe guvf SBBQ gbal tvyebl

this is an analogy that will work for three people, but the difference between mainline SW and A/ndor is like the difference between modern east coast and west coast Fallouts. the writing team behind A/ndor is the kind of team that would look at the brief for New Vegas, go “okay, so this city is obviously a special economic zone with a NCR embassy within the city” and fucking run with that, the Jackals and the Vipers are distinct groups that fight everyone and each other with distinct beliefs and methods meanwhile there’s uhhhh some??? trade??? i guess??? in the greater Boston area and the biggest coherent roaming XP group in Fallout 4 is called the Gunners. what their deal is, who pays them, where they came from?? who fucking knows!!! certainly not me or the writers!!!

in the process of researching this post, i had in my head for SO long that the Gunners originated from Vault 75, the one under Malden Middle School, but that is simply incorrect. that's so fucking easy that's right fucking there it's already a Gunner base why isn't that canon

back to SW. i wanna know what JE S/awyer thinks of this show so bad, esp bc there are so many nods to the West End EU TTRPGs, but i don’t think he’s a huge SW guy.

-

playing

the multiplayer aspect of this newest pokemon game is more of a photo op with friends simulator than anything else. you can't in any meaningful way (or at least we didn't figure out how to) battle together or even make sure we were synced up to do star team or gym fights at the same time (except for the terra raids which take thirty seconds max). however i do have this very cute, if slightly choppy photo of me and my best friend

GOD this gym leader is FUCKING HOT

-

making

swatching a baby blanket in palest mint for my in-production goddaughter

[thekatea]

Moonlight Chicken

Watched: 02.03.2023

It felt like the highlights of a greater story.You know what? I want to watch either the show they teased in the trailer one year ago, because what we’ve got was just completely different material, or what we’ve got here, but in a longer format.

I’ll start with the biggest flaw I saw, to get it over with. Earth was miscast. To everyone who honestly thinks Earth fits the role - drop me the name of your country, I gotta go and find myself a 40 but looking 20 daddy. Don’t know what kind of fountain of youth your government is selling for you to think he is believable “about to be” middle aged man, but I want some of it.

And please don’t start with: some people look younger than their age. Sure, but this is literally not the case in this story. Not once was it part of the discussion how he looks good for his age. I mean, the fact that Wen even asked Jim if Li Ming was his son suggests, Jim is supposed to look his age. He just looked way too much like a peer next to Mix and Khaotung.

Because of that, many scenes that were more hard hitting and emotional, felt simply not sincere. He is the main character, so if I cannot connect to him, the whole show starts to fall apart. This is what happens when profiting from a popular and established pairing is more important than proper casting. Pro tip to directors - if you are not willing to cast age appropriate actors, do not try to make shows with big age gaps between characters or about characters who are in their late 30’ and 40’. (Putting this casting into perspective - the actor playing Heart’s father is 45).

That said, I’m not gonna act as if it will for sure ruin the watching experience for everyone - it will not. It’s just something that I personally cannot ignore, especially since the character’s age was brought up over and over again in conversations.

Putting Jim aside, I actually enjoyed a lot of other characters and their interactions. Wen and Li Ming were truly adorable, with this older/younger brother dynamic, and Wen did a good job being the bridge between the uncle and the teen. He made them both understand each other better.

I also found Wen’s and Alan’s relationship fascinating and wish we would see more of it. It seemed like they made almost every possible mistake to end up in this situation, and trying to fix it right away would be an impossible task.

Heart and Li Ming were obviously fans’ favorites. Did I like them? Yes. Do I feel like their interactions were too similar to My School President and it was a bit like watching the same characters just in a different context? Also yes.

Honestly speaking, Alan was my favorite character and one that I was most curious about. It should also be illegal to give Khaotung such a tiny role taking into consideration his talent. I find it a bit funny how, in my view, two most talented actors in the show were sidelined like that.

While I enjoyed Earth and Mix in their other projects, I did not quite like them here. The main couple was for me the weakest aspect of the whole show. I enjoyed the characters far more with other people, compared to watching them interact with each other.

Giving credit where credit is due, Moonlight Chicken tries to tackle more serious issues and steps away from the typical high school romance. It does not follow the “one relationship for the life” idea, showing the past relationships of the main characters. It gives us a deaf community representation in a tactful manner. It shows that at times putting more effort will not save the relationship, and the most healthy way is to just end it and leave. It shows various types of parents-kids relationships, and how there are no right and wrong universal answers, it all depends on the circumstances.

While I appreciate the writer and director bringing all these important issues to the table, I also feel like they were more of an appetizer than a whole meal. It’s undeniable that they did not have enough time to truly dive deep into any of these topics, so at the end it felt more like highlights of a greater story. Personally, I prefer my slice of life character driven shows in a slower pace, that gives me time to digest everything that is happening on the screen.

The quality of the production fluctuated quite a bit. Some scenes were a true perfection and there was not a detail that had to be changed to improve them. But then some scenes had such sloppy lighting I actually laughed. What I loved for sure though were the set designs. Aesthetically pleasing, but not over the top that it looked unnatural. You saw it and you believed - yes, someone lives/works here.

Overall, it has many great messages, many great lines. Could have been one of the best BLs if the production was a bit more daring, but also selective in terms of the story and the casting.

[perexcri]

Perexcri’s back with another wonderful byler fic 🕺🕺

Will would definetely be a music snob in college o my god its so perfect! I didnt even think of this but its very in character, new headcanon unlocked ✅ (canon Mike Wheeler would, however, never argue with Will Byers. That boy is too whipped. /j)

I love the layout in this one, the way it looks like a mixtape is SO on brand and I JUST LOVE IT!!

I will be recommending this one to my poor friend who has to listen to me rant about random fanfics i find every day (i’ve also recommended aftry to them a few months back and we still talk about it lol)

I hope you’re doing well! :] 🫶

AHHHH HELLO FRIEND!! i'm so glad you read and liked the new fic :D my sincerest apologies for still being stuck on the rose, but at least there's 50k of this au to help pass the time, right?

i am a firm lover of the Will is a music snob headcanon, mostly because i think it's so funny. also, yeah, Will is nice and quiet and sweet and open-hearted to all around him, but he can also be a brat and can run his mouth. which is why this one was so fun to write!! it's fun to explore Will with those softer sides to him, but i also do enjoy making him more sarcastic or acting like the annoying little brother that he is, because i think those are aspects of his canon self, too

plus, i just. think he would be a music snob. everyone on byler tumblr talks about Mike's spotify playlist a lot, but i don't see a lot of people talking about Will's, and if you listen to it...yeah, i 100% think he'd be a music snob. his playlist is a lot of what i was listening to in middle school when i was determined to not like any music that was popular at the time and/or only wanted to listen to "real" music. he even has 3 Jack White music projects on that playlist!! THREE!!!! he has high standards and thinks he is Right, and while i don't believe he'd shove his opinions down everyone's throats, i do think he would hold to his standards

which, not that it matters in the least bit, but this is all to say that i don't think he'd listen to taylor swi[GUNSHOTS]

anyway!! glad i could convert you to my headcanon lol 😌✨

i'm also so so glad you liked the layout!! i've been wanting to do more with different formatting options on ao3 (without venturing into the realm of work skins lol), so this one felt like the perfect opportunity to do so! and i liked keeping it with a classic rock/blues/folk theme for the titles. i was originally gonna title the fic "hold me like a grudge" from the new fall out boy album and do all the subtitles based on fall out boy lyrics, but i'm kind of glad i strayed away from my addiction to Pete Wentz's wordsmithing and went for the classic stuff instead :]

and the fact that you would even consider telling your friend is a honor to me 🥺 AND the fact that you told them about aftry?? ANDDDD you guys still talk about it? you're trying to put me in an early grave, i think. my heart can't take this anymore T_T

but seriously, i'm so so glad you enjoyed it and took the time to read it!! it means the world to me, especially because i did not anticipate this fic turning into the length of project that it ended up being. i thought it'd be like 20k words, max. oh how wrong i was

thanks for being lovely, and thank you for stopping by with such kind words!! i'm wishing you all the best and hope you're doing well, too :] 💜💜💜

[writer-citation-needed]

Different Kinds of Fruit is a middle-grade novel centered around Annabelle, who has lived in the same small town and gone to the same non-traditional school with the same group of kids since she was in kindergarten. Hardly anything changes for her until the first day of sixth grade, when a new kid says that they've not only just moved from Seattle but are nonbinary (something she's never heard of). With a glimpse into a life so far from her own, Annabelle learns more about those around her than she ever thought sixth grade would teach.

It took me about a week to sum up my thoughts on this novel, because while I really enjoyed most of it scene-to-scene, I think it drops the ball on many of the larger issues it contains. Given the number of subplots and themes, the ending is quite messy, but I think it could be a very important book for young readers. For the most part, this novel has a lot of heart and great queer rep in nearly all areas.

My favorite aspect of Different Kinds of Fruit is the protagonist, Annabelle. She is super endearing in her kindness, curiosity and her passion for supporting the various causes of her classmates. I really loved her narrative voice and thought she was incredibly funny and charming. I also related to her a lot in her simultaneous confusion of and desire to explore her sexuality and it was satisfying to see her come into her own by the end. I was really surprised that she didn't end up being ace though, given that at the beginning she describes herself as "someone who didn't like boys, but didn't like girls either." In a book filled with rep of all kinds I was really excited to have an ace MC but was fine with her ending up coming out as pan and dating one of her newly-trans classmates in the epilogue :]

Other than the very main plot surrounding Annabelle and Bailey, I think the book gets really messy and sat poorly with me at parts. For the most part, this can be summed up in two points: too many subplots and a huge lack of nuance.

Lack of Focus

I mentioned how it's hard to concisely describe this book, and that is mainly because of how many subplots are added without much resolve. I don't think it had to be a bad thing though! When we're introduced to the new teacher Amy, the class believes they will be able to learn about more than the standard sixth-grade social studies unit and begin to suggest a year-long curriculum covering many social and environmental justice topics. Annabelle herself is involved with two major projects as a part of the class's interest- the National Coming Out Day panel and a solar power proposal. While both are shut down due to Dixon and his mother, only the first gets any kind of narrative followthrough. The solar panels, which would have calmed Annabelle's climate anxiety as described many times throughout the book? Dismissed in the epilogue. Of course, I understand that the story sort of requires more time and plot for the LGBTQ issues, but I don't understand why the main character's secondary concern is treated (I feel) more like a catalyst for her to fall in love with one of her classmates (ALSO only in the epilogue) rather than a genuine theme.

What makes the dismissal of the environmental theme worse is that so much of the queer subplot are also completely unresolved! As much as I liked Annabelle's parents coming out and having a q&a with her class (and how they formed a local support group in the epilogue) it only worked to tie up (most of) the interpersonal conflict, not the systematic conflict. Even in the epilogue, nothing is done to make the Lab more inclusive despite the major subplot of E being kicked out of school in another town and Annabelle's realization that her school is not as progressive as she thought. I was really disappointed that the social justice was limited to one parent storming out of the class angrily and the principal being contradicted and forced to do the huge act of.. allowing Annabelle's parents to talk about their identities for an hour. While the epilogue does see more action done, it is super short and mainly done in a "look what we did in the past year! yay!" kind of way. I would really have preferred for the events mentioned in the epilogue to have more time than some of the build up for a very small-scale revolution on the LGBTQ front and a barely-resolved environmental project.

One-sided Argument

This part is tricky. Obviously this is a kid's book, but I found there to be such little nuance in the conflict between Bailey and Annabelle's dad. It really made me dislike Bailey in these scenes, because they seemed to make no effort to understand him meanwhile he must overcome his years of trauma and history to fit into Bailey's idea of trans ideology. Rather than both characters learning from each other, Annabelle's dad is treated like he's just some uncultured boomer instead of a part of a very real conversation about identity. Honestly, I found Bailey to be very privileged and though they sort of point to that a couple times, it seems incredibly naive for them to not even attempt to understand a world where it isn't acceptable to introduce yourself to your class by saying "I'm nonbinary, and while you might not even know what that is or how they/them pronouns work, I'm going to be very offended if you try to ask me anything about my identity that isn't perfectly politically correct as I see fit". Like, I hope that all kids can explore their identity without any pushback like Bailey and their friends, but I feel that this outlook completely diminishes what could have been a really interesting perspective on queer issues from Annabelle's dad (which I thought was why the spectrum families setting was made prominent (instead we just got introduced to new side characters that were really only there for one scene and to magically turn Mike into the perfect activist)

General Thoughts

Overall, I like Different Kinds of Fruit as an introduction to queer identities for younger readers. The main character is very relatable and kind, and I loved her journey of self-discovery and her quest for social justice, both interpersonally and on a larger scale. I did find, however, that there was simultaneously too much going on for the time frame of the novel and not enough nuance for a story that prominently features both younger and older queer characters. In terms of a cute and informative queer middle grade novel though, I would give this a recommendation.

[littleladymab]

FebruarOC - Sam

At least, we have made it to the (technically) main character of the 07 Nano Project! (For him being the main character I sure don't write about him a lot) 

The original conceit of the story was an isekai in which sam somehow ends up in this other world and at the end has to go back home (I had done loose plotting for a like, afterword story, not a sequel strictly speaking but an extended epilogue?? that was a lot of Ky coping with him being gone and her place restored, and Beryl and Ren not really knowing how to handle that because of their own circumstances). I think I would eliminate the "he's from earth" aspect, but then I did really like his absence at the end of it. Maybe it will have to end with some kind of sacrifice? Hmm! 

He was, at home, an incredibly normal boy. Which is just extremely isekai isn't it, now that i think about it??? I wrote them all really young, I don't remember why -- i think I wanted to be able to lean into the horror for younger audiences so of the main cast, Sam was the youngest (14); he was technically in middle school still (8th grade) because he ended up repeating a year after his dad died (he got sick and it was terminal) and Sam would say that was the most interesting thing about him. He also liked to play soccer!

Then on his way home from school one day, after he had been seeing a strange bright orange butterfly that no one else could apparently see, he got waylaid by a woman in a fox mask who called him "Deacon" and stuck a demon mask on him. And boy howdy, that wasn't fun! The mask did start taking his memories and adding in new ones of the spirit of the mask, but Ky and her crew showed up and saved him, but left the mask behind. 

Even without the mask in hand, he could still feel the influence of this other mind in his warring for control -- and the problem with it being left behind was that the guy who made the mask could then like, use it to trigger episodes in Sam. He still mostly had control of himself and had the added bonus of some Deacon Abilities (like to sense where other Grave Robbers were), but every so often he did lose control. 

Now, what does it mean to be the Deacon??? Oh, fuck if i know. It was just like the most powerful of the Grave Robbers? He was the last one, I think there were 10 total, though they had to replace one after Beryl's mask got destroyed. (well they just made a new Raven ask). But yeah I never did really figure out what it all meant. I never figured out the entire arc of the story, which was why I didn't get very far when writing it! 

On a rewrite, I'd figure out a way to remove it from the "isekai" setting. It would be easy because I just need to make him from the "city dwellers" -- all the other Grave Robbers to that point had been from the Hill Folk. Oh god I gotta do world building??? (jk, I really gotta do world building) but that means for most of the story, you only see the city from an outsider's perspective; even Beryl's is skewed when she's Raven, because she's not... natural? I guess? She's a creation of the mask, not someone born there. 

I also really need to figure out what it is about the Grave Robbers. Like what their abilities are, what they are for, what Cantur wants and how Sam works into that/against that. 

Also, his full name is Samuel, but he goes by Sam because it's just, easy and less noticeable. Except for when he wound up in the Hill Folk camp, Niko would just.... call him a billion different names all that started with "Sam". Samuella, Samson, Samsung, Samantha, Samtina, Samash. Why? I don't know. I thought it would be funny, but he did it in such rapid succession that it sort of lost the punch line. Gotta spread it out. 

((Drabble to come later!))

[electrosuite]

green dress

warnings: swearing, vomit, descriptions of losing virginities, descriptive sex, oral sex

word count: 4.2k

masterlist

Parties. Just the thought of them made you want to curl into such a tight ball that you just crumble in on yourself and disappear from existence. But tonight, you actually wanted to go to one.

It was a birthday party for a classmate of yours, and she invited as many people as she possibly could. It seemed like there were hundreds of people in her mansion of a house, which made you regret your decision to say yes.

You decided to borrow your mom’s favorite dress: a spaghetti strap, emerald green one that came down to your knees. It was kind of low cut in the front, giving a great view of your boobs.

Part of the reason you said yes — and decided to wear that dress in particular — was because the person you’d been crushing on for years would be there.

Peter Parker. You two had been going to school together since fourth grade, and you’d been pining over him since sixth grade. You two had been paired up for a project, and he was one of the only kids in middle school who was genuinely nice to you.

Ever since then, you’d had at least one class per year together. Every once in a while you’d been assigned to sit next to him, and you had a raging case of butterflies in your stomach every single time.

He was a quiet and mysterious loner into photography and he skateboarded around the school. He was sarcastic, funny, and always stuck up for people. Every aspect of him only made you more attracted to him.

But you knew he didn’t feel that way about you. Sure, he was nice to you and maybe considered you his friend. But no one had ever had a crush on you. At least, not that you knew of. And if anyone did, it wouldn’t be him.

At the same time, though, you figured your dress would at least get a look or two from him.

At least, that was until the girl throwing the party walked over to you. You two were okay friends. Sometimes you’d eat lunch together, but that was the extent of your friendship. You were standing in the kitchen, sipping on water. She was very obviously drunk; she’d taken her heels off and was still stumbling around.

“Y/N!” she slurred, leaning back against the island in the middle of the kitchen. “I didn’t think you’d make it!”

You nodded, someone behind her catching your eye. It was Peter. He looked to be just wandering around, trying to find someone to talk to. When he saw you he gave you a small smile and waved. You returned both gestures.

He stood there with his hands in his pockets, and you could tell he wanted to talk to you after your conversation ended.

“Yeah, I didn’t have anything else to do,” you replied.

“I think Peter’s here,” she said loudly enough for him to smirk to himself.

“Oh,” you said, your cheeks going red, knowing he heard that.

“Didn’t you wear that dress for him?”

“Please stop talking.”

Just then, her face turned green. She placed her hand on your shoulder and puked. You gasped as it covered the front of your dress and dripped onto the floor.

“What the hell?”

“Sorry,” she mumbled before stumbling off to talk to someone else. You stood there for a moment, looking at the mess all over your stomach.

You then looked up and Peter was looking at you, his eyes wide. You instinctively hurriedly walked through the kitchen and past him, practically sprinting to the stairs and up to the second floor.

People were moving out of your way to avoid getting any of the sputum on them, which was only more humiliating. You managed to find the master bathroom and shut the door behind you.

You spotted the bathroom connected to it and ran in, carefully pulling your dress over your head. The sink was immediately inside the room, the door to the left of it. You looked at it, tears beginning to flow. You whimpered at the sight of thrown up alcohol and food, knowing it wouldn’t come out.

You dropped the dress into the sink and filled it with water and soap.

“Y/N?” said a voice from inside the bedroom. You ignored it, but recognized it as Peter. You were hopeful that he would leave if you didn’t answer.

But, in classic Peter fashion, he was nosy. When he walked over and stood in the doorframe, you could see him out of the corner of your eye, and you could see his surprise at the sight of you in just your bra and underwear. But you were crying so hard that you didn’t even want to look at him.

“You okay?” he asked in the gentle tone he usually used with you.

“It won’t come out.” He looked down at the dress you were scrubbing vigorously. “This is my mom’s dress, and she’s gonna kill me. I told her nothing would happen to it. And now it’s stained in puke. Goddamnit.”

You didn’t stop, but he watched you. “Why don’t you let me try?”

You shook your head. “This is my fault. I need to clean it.”

He reached over and placed his hands over yours, stilling your movements. You didn’t look at him, but a tear slid down your cheek.

“Let me try. Go sit on the bed and try to relax.”

Truthfully, you didn’t have it in you to argue. You wiped your hands off on a towel and he stepped in front of the sink, scrubbing it much more delicately than you were.

You could see him from where you sat on the bed. Well, some of him. You could see his arms, his wavy chestnut hair, and his back muscles that were visible through his t-shirt.

He worked on it for a few minutes before walking over to you with a tissue, which you gladly accepted. He grabbed the throw blanket from the end of the bed and wrapped it around your shoulders to cover you up. He knelt down in front of you so he could look you in the eye.

“Thanks,” you said, wiping your nose. “I knew I should’ve just stayed home.”

“What, you mean you don’t enjoy getting thrown up on?”

You couldn’t help but chuckle. “Can’t say I do.” It was silent for a moment. “Why’d you follow me up here?”

He gave you a bit of a confused expression. “What do you mean?”

“I mean... You could’ve just let me do this myself. Why’d you come up here?”

“You were pretty distraught.”

You looked down at the tissue in your hand. “I’m just embarrassed. I’ve been trying to not be a total loser and pretty much everyone I know just saw me covered in vomit.”

He furrowed his brows. “Why do you think you’re a loser?”

You made eye contact with him again. “I mean, it’s not like I’m the most popular person ever. I don’t really have any friends, I don’t get out very often-”

“Do you think I’m a loser?”

“What?”

“Do you think I’m a loser? I mean, it’s not like I’m popular or have friends. But, according to the girl who puked on you, it sounds like you wore that dress for me.”

Your blush came back as you looked back down. “She was drunk.”

“Does that mean she was lying?”

You didn’t know how to answer. You really didn’t plan on him finding out that you liked him tonight, even though he was right about the dress. But before you could figure out an answer, he placed his right hand where your jaw and neck meet, his fingers behind your ear. He wiped your tear-stained cheek with his thumb, looking you right in the eye.

His other hand rested on the bed next to your hip, which you hadn’t noticed until now.

Slowly but surely, he moved his face closer to yours. Your entire body grew hot the closer he got, eventually touching your foreheads together. Your voice was shaky, your palms sweaty.

“Is this okay?” he asked in a whisper. His breath smelled of mint, telling you he brushed his teeth before he got here.

“Yeah,” you choked out. Without wasting another second, he gently connected your lips to his. You mimicked his touch, placing your hand on his jaw. When he broke the kiss, he kept his forehead against yours again.

You were worried he could hear your heart pounding and the butterflies in your stomach. He smiled and chuckled before kissing you again. You adjusted your shoulders so that the blanket fell off of them, leaving you almost completely exposed in front of him.

“Peter,” you whispered between kisses.

“Hm?” His lips trailed across your cheek and down to your neck, his hand keeping your face where he could get to it.

“I did wear the dress for you.”

“I know,” he whispered into your skin. “You’ve had a crush on me for years.” Normally, you’d think someone would sound cocky saying that. But right here, right now, it only made you whimper. Not to mention the fact that he was a hundred percent right. “Haven’t you?”

You nodded. “Mhm.”

“Well, right back at you.”

That comment caught you off guard. The person you’d been hopelessly in love with for almost six years felt the same?

“What?”

“Mhm. Since fourth grade.”

You pushed him away, your eyes wide. “Fourth grade?”

His expression was full of nothing but love, lust, and admiration. “Yep. The day I met you, ten-year-old me fell in love with you.”

Your inner monologue was going crazy. He’s liked you longer than you’ve liked him, and you’re only just now finding out.

Your heart was beating so fast you were growing concerned, and tears filled your eyes. You couldn’t help but grin like a kid in a candy store, and he returned the smile.

You pulled him back in to kiss him, pulling him on top of you. One of his hands positioned itself next to your hip, one gripping your side. You wrapped your legs around the back of his thighs, you ran your right hand through his hair, and your other hand gripped his shoulder.

His mouth moved to where your collarbones meet, then slid all the way down your stomach.

Then you realized: you’d never done this before. Hell, him kissing you was only your second kiss. The first one was during a round of spin the bottle with your friends.

Your nervousness must’ve translated to your body because he suddenly stopped after kissing your hip bones.

“Y/N, are you okay?”

You propped yourself up on your elbows and stared down at him. “What do you mean?”

“You’re squirming a lot. You seem nervous.”

You couldn’t hold back a groan. “It’s embarrassing.”

He squinted a bit. “Is this... your first time?” You didn’t answer. “Why didn’t you tell me?”

“Because it’s embarrassing,” you repeated.

“Why is it embarrassing?”

“I guarantee you I’m the only virgin here.” He gave you a look. Almost the same one you gave him not even a minute ago. And that’s when it hit you like a shovel. “Peter...”

“I wouldn’t bet on it.”

“Are you-”

“Yeah. I-I’ve never done this either. It’s actually kind of comforting knowing I’m not the only one.”

He was right. Knowing that it would be both of your first times was comforting. This would be the first time in a long time that you wouldn’t feel out of place or like you didn’t belong.

You sat up and leaned forward, kissing him again. “You still want to?”

“You have no idea how badly I want to do this.”

You smiled and pushed his hair out of his eyes. “Okay.”

“Lay back,” he whispered, in a slightly commanding tone.

You did what he told you, feeling him kissing your inner thighs. He pulled you closer to the edge of the bed, giving himself better access. You could feel yourself practically dripping, and you really hoped that wasn’t a turnoff for him.

“Can I take these off?” he asked, sliding the tips of his fingers under your panties. You nodded, and he shook his head. “I need you to say it. Use your words.” His demand for verbal consent made you moan.

“Yes. Please, take them off.”

He wasted no time pulling them down your legs and dropping them on the floor. He propped your legs on his shoulders and his hand on your upper thighs where they meet your stomach. He was apparently a fan of teasing, because he continued kissing your thighs, eventually moving to your pussy lips, and everywhere around where you needed him most.

“Peter,” you whined. “Please.”

And without another word, his tongue licked a broad stripe along your clit, making you gasp. Slowly, he licked circles around that sensitive bud, making your hips grind into his face. Instinctively, your fingers tangled themselves in his hair, lightly tugging. He let out a groan, which sent vibrations through your body and made you shiver.

He then sucked extra hard, pulling back a bit, and letting go with a pop. You didn’t anticipate how good that would feel, and a loud moan left your mouth.

It didn’t take long at all for you to feel close to your climax, and he could tell. You were squirming more and more, and your moans were growing sloppy.

“Shit,” you whined, throwing your head back as you unintentionally yanked his hair harder than you meant to, causing him to grunt again.

The vibration sent you over the edge, your entire body trembling in euphoria.

“F-Fuck, Peter,” you cried out.

He had to hold your hips down, causing your back to arch and your heels to dig into his back. But he didn’t stop or slow down. He worked you through your orgasm, trying to make it as pleasurable for you as possible. Even with the music blasting outside, you were sure that people could hear you. But you didn’t care. You were completely engulfed in Peter and what he was doing.

When you came down from your high, he pulled away. Your head was spinning and your legs were sore from you stiffening them up. You noticed he was also out of breath, but he didn’t seem to mind much.

He pressed a couple of more kisses to your thighs before returning to eye level with you, pressing a kiss to your cheek, then your mouth.

“Was that... okay?” he asked, looking into your eyes.

You giggled. “Oh, yeah. That was really good.”

His face was nothing but relief as he kissed you once more, scooting you further up the bed so he could get comfortable. You reached under you and unhooked your bra. When you threw it onto the floor, his face turned white.

“Are you okay?” you asked, slightly concerned.

“Yeah, just... you’re so beautiful.” You couldn’t help but smile. “And, also, I’ve kinda never seen boobs in real life before.” And that elicited a hearty laugh from you. “Are you making fun of me?” he joked with a chuckle.

“No, I just didn’t expect that.” You reached up and pushed his hair out of his face, tucking what you could behind his ear. “It’s your turn to take something off.”

Your fingers gripped the bottom hem of his shirt and pulled it over his head, leaving his torso bare and exposed.

God, he was beautiful. Chiseled and seemingly hand-crafted like a marble statue of a Greek god, every feature was perfect, like it was just meant to be there. His arms were thick with muscle and veiny, and the sight of them took your breath away.

“Wait,” you said, making him back off a little bit.

“What’s wrong?”

“Condom. We don’t have a condom.”

“Shit.” He stood up slipped his shirt back on, pulling it down enough to cover his still-growing boner. “I’ll go get one.”

And with that, he slipped out the door, leaving you naked on a stranger’s bed. It wasn’t ideal, but you’d rather do this than suffer the consequences. You bent a leg and used it to cover as much of your body from outside view as you could before crossing your arms over your nipples.

It wasn’t even a full minute before he came back. He took the time to lock the door, making sure you two weren’t interrupted.

“I’m sorry, I didn’t mean to leave you alone,” he said, leaning his head down and kissing your knee.

“It’s okay.” You smiled at him as he took his shirt back off and climbed back on top of you.

To get the two of you back in the mood, he ran his hand down your side and found his way back to your clit, fingering you slowly as he engulfed your mouth in his. You moaned into his mouth, lifting your hips to grind into his crotch.

“Peter, I’m gonna go crazy here.” You began undoing his jeans and he looked down at your hands, watching in awe as you enthusiastically helped him take them off. Once they were undone, he shimmied them down, giving you an opportunity to take a look at what you’d longed to see for years.

And your eyes got big. He was bigger than you expected. That’s not to say you thought he was small — you didn’t. But you didn’t expect him to be as big as he was. Your jaw dropped a bit, and he looked at you, holding up the condom.

“You sure about this?”

You didn’t feel like you could get words out, so you just pulled him in for a kiss. He returned it but pulled away after a moment.

“You have to say it, Y/N.” For the second time tonight, he insisted on verbal confirmation. If you were standing right then, you were sure you’d topple over.

“I’m sure. I want you, Peter. Please.”

He used his teeth to open the package, pulling out the lubricated piece of rubber. He sat up on his knees to put it on, and you propped yourself up on your elbows to watch. He struggled a bit but got it on.

He looked at you before leaning forward, taking his dick in one hand and positioning it at your entrance. He couldn’t help but tease you a bit, sliding the tip against where you needed him most a couple of times. He used his thighs to push your legs up toward you a bit, giving him easier access.

“Ready?” he whispered as he pressed his forehead to yours.

You nodded. “Ready.”

And with that, he gently pushed into you, both of you letting out throaty moans. Your eyebrows dipped down and you threw your head back, giving him free rein on your neck.

He moved slowly, allowing you time to adjust to him. He pulled almost all the way out before thrusting back in and filling you up more than you thought possible.

“Shit, Pete.” The nickname seemed to make him even harder. His fingers wrapped upward around your chin, turning your head and burying his face in the crook of your neck.

He wasted no time picking up the pace, causing the room to fill with unholy sounds — skin slapping against skin, the squelching of your wetness, and out-of-sync moans, whines, and whimpers.

Your arms wrapped around his arms from underneath, your hands resting on his shoulder blades to pull him closer to you. Your nails dug into his skin and scratched, leaving red marks across his back.

Your feet wrapped around his hips, interlocking at the ankles and opening yourself up more for him. One of your hands reached up and gripped the back of his head, keeping his face buried in your neck. Your fingers ran through his hair, while the fingers of your other hand were still leaving marks on him.

His thrusts were quick but harsh, causing the bed to move side to side with him.

Swears toppled from both of your mouths between sloppy and passionate kisses, and now you were both leaving scratches on each other.

“Peter, stop for a second.”

He immediately pulled out and put a few inches between the two of you. “Are you okay?”

You nodded. “I, uh... I wanna be on top.”

His eyebrows slowly raised and he nodded, crawling over to sit against the headboard, propping the pillow in that spot vertically so he could lean against it. You slowly knee-walked over, positioning yourself so that your knees were on either side of him.

He looked at you with nothing but love in his eyes, his hands finding a place on your hips. You reached between you two and positioned his cock so it was aligned with your entrance, sinking yourself down onto him. One of his hands slid up to the middle of your back, pulling your chest closer to his face so he could kiss your boobs.

You began bouncing and grinding, gripping his face and turning it upward to look at you so you could interlock your lips again. His hands helped you along, making it easier for you to balance.

You could now feel yourself getting close to an orgasm, making your body temperature spike.

“P-Peter, I-”

“Are you getting close?”

“Uh-huh. So close. So, so close. Please.” You weren’t entirely sure why you were begging, but it felt right.

His moans began to get desperate and pleading, his fingers gripping you so hard that you were sure it’d leave bruises. Once again, you simply rested your forehead against his as you worked both of you up to your climaxes.

And it was the pad of his thumb that tipped you over the edge.

Tears streamed down your face as you were quickly overwhelmed, but you didn’t notice at first. Your orgasm was almost over when Peter’s legs bent upward as he involuntarily bucked his hips a bit, cumming roughly into the condom.

Your movements stilled, both of you fighting to catch your breath. Your legs were trembling and weak, and you dropped your hands to his shoulders. He let his head fall backward against the headboard, reaching up and pushing your hair behind your ears, followed by wiping your tears with his thumbs.

“Are you okay?” he asked with a small smile.

You nodded. “Yeah. I’m good.” You laughed a bit and he pulled you in for a kiss.

His right thumb stayed where it was, admiring you. “You’re just as beautiful sweaty.”

“Thanks,” you said sarcastically. Another kiss from him.

—

Peter was on his back, you were on your side with your knee between his thighs. His arm was wrapped around your torso, his hand resting on your hip.

He had his fingers interlocked with yours, stroking the back of your hand. You two laid there under the covers for a little while before either of you said anything. He moved his head to give you a long kiss on your forehead, and you wrapped your arm around his stomach. The arm that was on your back moved up to your shoulders, keeping you close to him.

“Why didn’t you ever tell me that you liked me?” he asked.

“I didn’t really want to be humiliated if you didn’t feel the same.”

“You really need to stop caring what other people think about you. No offense.”

“You’re not just another person, Pete. You were the person I’ve been in love with since middle school. If I embarrassed myself and found out you didn’t feel the same... It just seemed a lot easier to avoid that heartbreak.”

He looked at you. “How could I not feel the same?”

You didn’t answer. “Why didn’t you ever tell me?”

He shrugged. “I guess for the same reasons. Never finding out seemed a lot easier than getting let down.”

“Never finding out?” You propped yourself up on your elbow and looked down at him. “You never would’ve said anything?”

“Probably not.”

You reached up and pushed his hair off his forehead. “I might need to stop caring about other people’s opinions, but you need to start saying what’s on your mind.”

“Deal.” He lifted his arm and stuck out his pinkie, and you took it with yours, laughing while you leaned down to kiss him deeply. “We should go out. On an actual date.”

“Really?”

“Of course. This can’t be the only thing that happens between us.”

You smiled. “Okay. Tomorrow. We can go to dinner.”

“Dinner. Tomorrow. It sounds like a plan.”

You got up and grabbed your bra and underwear, slipping them back on as he watched you with a smirk.

“I’ll have to sneak into the birthday girl’s room and steal some clothes.” You groaned, “My mom’s gonna kill me over that dress.”

Peter had begun getting dressed. “Throw it in the washer when you get home.”

“Assuming the washer will get it out.”

He grabbed his jacket that he’d sat on the bench at the end of the bed and handed it to you. “Now you just have to steal pants.”

You fought back a smile at the gesture. “Thanks.”

“I’ll go grab you some sweatpants.”

“Okay.”

You were tired, overjoyed, and excited. The boy you’d been in love with for almost a decade felt the same about you. You’d just spent an incredibly intimate moment with him, and he gave you his jacket. You had an official date with him tomorrow, and you’d never felt so much love from someone.

Maybe getting puked on wasn’t so bad after all.

[number5theboy]

Please elaborate on how Five could've turned into the most insufferable character to watch

Thanks for asking me to elaborate on this text post:

@tessapercygranger​, @waywardd1​ and @margarita-umbrella​ also wanted to see a more detailed version of it, and I ended up writing an essay that’s longer than some of my actual academic essays. So buckle up.

WHY NUMBER FIVE SHOULD BE THE MOST OBNOXIOUS CHARACTER IN TV HISTORY, AND HOW HE MANAGES NOT TO BE

Number Five: The Concept That Could Go Horribly Wrong

Alright, let’s first look at Five in theory in an overarching way, without taking into account the execution of the show. The basic set-up of the character, of course, is being a 58-year-old consciousness in a teenager’s body, due to a miscalculation in time travel. Right off the bat, Five is bar none the most overpowered of the siblings; by the end of Season 2, no one has yet been able to defeat him in a fight. He is a master assassin – and not just any master assassin, but the best one there is – and a survival expert, able to do complex maths and physics without the aid of a calculator, shown to have knowledge of half a dozen languages, has very developed observational skills and, to top that all off, he can manipulate time and space to the point where he can literally erase events that happened and change the course of history. And Five knows how skilled he is; he is arrogant, self-assured and sarcastic, and his streak of goodness is buried deep inside. David Castañeda once described Five in an interview as 90% chocolate with a cherry in the middle, meaning that you have to get through a lot of darkness and bitterness before knowing there is a good core, and I think it’s an excellent metaphor. However, Five is also incredibly, fundamentally terrible at communicating with anyone, and, because he is the only one with time travel abilities, the character a lot of the actual plot - and the moving forward of it - centres around. Also he’s earnestly in love with a mannequin, who is pretty much a projection of his own consciousness that functions as a coping mechanism for all the trauma he has endured. All in all, this gives you a character who looks like a teenager, but with the smug superiority of a fifty-something, who a) is extremely skilled in many different things, b) has a superiority complex, is arrogant and vocal about it, and most of the superiority is expressed through cutting sarcasm, c) has one very hidden ounce of goodness that he is literally the worst at communicating to other human beings, d) is what moves the plot along but is also bad at talking to anyone else, meaning that the plot largely remains with him, and e) his love interest is essentially a projection of himself. Tell me that’s not a character who is destined to be just…obnoxious, annoying, egocentric, a necessary evil that one has to put up with to get through this show. There are so many elements of this characterisation that can and should easily make Five beyond insufferable, but the show manages to avoid it, and I’m putting this down to three aspects.

That Trick of Age and Appearance

Bluntly put, Five as a character would not work if he was anything else than an old man in a 13-year-old body. Imagine this character and all his skills and knowledge, but actually just…a teenager. Immediately insufferable. Same goes for him being around 30, like his siblings, all of which are stunted and traumatised by their father’s abuse. If Five, being comparatively unscathed by Reginald to the point where he explicitly does not want to be defined by his association with his father, were 30 like his siblings, it would just take the bite out of that plot point and also give him a lot less time in the apocalypse, reducing the impact it had on him as a person. And making Five his actual 58-year-old self would make him very similar to Reginald, at least on surface level, with the appearance and attitude. Five and Reginald are two fundamentally different people, but having one of the siblings being a senior citizen that’s dressed to the nines and bosses his siblings around in a relatively self-centred way does open up that parallel, and would take away from Five’s charm as a character. Because pairing the life experience of a 58-year-old with the appearance of a teenager gives you the best of both worlds. You get the other siblings (and a lot of the audience, from a glance in the tags of my gifsets) feeling protective and paternal about Five, but his age and experience also give the justifications for his many skills, his arrogance, in a way, and his ability to decimate a room full of people. It’s the very interesting and not new concept of someone dangerous with the appearance of something harmless, a child. This is also where Five’s singular outfit comes in. I know we like to clown on Five to get a new outfit, but I think what gets forgotten often is how effective this outfit is at making the viewer take him seriously. The preppy school uniform is the perfect encapsulation of the tension between old man in spirit and young teenager in appearance. The blazer, vest and especially the shirt and tie are quite formal, relatively grown up. They’re not something we, the audience, usually associate with a teenage boy wearing; it makes Five just a little bit more grown up. But there is also a reason characters in this show keep bringing up Five’s shorts and his socks, because those are not things that we associate with grown men wearing; they’re the unmistakably childish part of his school uniform. Take a moment and imagine Five wearing a hoodie or a t-shirt, jeans, and sneakers; would that outfit work for him as well as the uniform does? Would he be able to command the same kind of respect or seriousness as a character? I don’t think so; the outfit is a lot more pivotal in making Five believable than a lot of people give it credit for.

Writing Nuance

The other big building block in not making Five incredibly insufferable is the writing. Objectively speaking, I think Five is the most well-written, and, more importantly, most coherently written character on the show (which does have to do with the fact that the show’s events are all sequential for him), and his arc and personality remain relatively intact over the course of the two seasons. More to the point, a giant part of what makes Five bearable as a character is that he is allowed to fail. He is written to have high highs and low lows, big victories through his skills and his intelligence, but also catastrophic failures and the freedom to be wrong. His superior intellect and skillset are not the be-all end-all of the plot or his character, just something that influences both. His inability for communication has not (yet) been used to fabricate a contrived misunderstanding that derails the plot and left all of us seething; instead, it’s a characteristic that makes him fail to reconnect with the people he loves. This is a bit simplified, as he does find common ground with Luther, for example, but in general, a lot of the rift between Five and his siblings is that they can’t relate to his traumas and he does not understand the depth of Reginald’s abuse, which is an interesting conflict worth exploring. Another thing that really works in Five’s favour is that he is definitely written to be mean and sarcastic, but it is never driven to the point of complete unlikability, and a lot of the time, the context makes it understandable why he reacts the way he does. Most of the sarcastic lines he gets are actually funny, that certainly helps, but in general, Five is a good example of a bearable character whose default personality is sharp and relatively cold, because it is balanced out with many moments of vulnerability. Delores is incredibly important for this in the first season, she is the main focus of Five’s humanising moments, and well-written as she totes the line between clearly being a coping mechanism for an extremely traumatised man and still coming across to the viewer as the human contact Five needs her to be. In the second season, the vulnerability is about his guilt for his siblings, it’s about Five connecting a little bit better to them. There’s also his relationship with the Commission and the Handler specifically – which honestly could be an essay on its own – that deserves a mention, because the Handler is why Five became the man he is, and this dynamic between creator and creation is explored in a very interesting way – their scenes are some of the most well-written in the entire show. And TUA never falls into the trap of making Five a hero, he is always morally ambiguous at best, and it just makes for an interesting, multi-faceted character, well-written character, and none of the characteristics that should make him unlikeable are allowed to take centre-stage for long enough to be defining on their own. I know a lot of people especially champion the scenes where Five goes apeshit, but without his more nuanced characterisation, if he was like that all the time, those scenes would not hit as hard.

Aidan Gallagher’s Performance is Underrated

But honestly, none of the above would matter that much if the Umbrella Academy didn’t luck out hard with the casting of Aidan Gallagher. I think what he achieves as an actor in this show is genuinely underappreciated. Like, the first season set out to cast six adults having to deal with various ramifications of childhood trauma, and a literal child that had to be able to act smart and wise beyond his years, seamlessly integrate into a family of adults while seeming like an adult, traumatised by the literal end of the world, AND had to be able to create the romantic chemistry of a thirty-year-long marriage with a lifeless department store doll. The only role I could think of to compare is Kirsten Dunst in Interview with a Vampire, where she plays a vampire child who, because she is undead, doesn’t age physically, but does mentally, so she’s 400 in a child’s body. And Kirsten Dunst had to do that for a two-hour movie. Five is a main character in a show that spans 20 episodes now. That’s insane, and it’s a risk. Five is a character that can’t be allowed to go wrong; if you don’t buy Five as a character, the entire first season loses believability. And they found someone who could do that not only convincingly, but also likeably. As I said, he is incredibly helped by the costuming department and the script, but Aidan Gallager’s Five has so much personality, he’s threatening and funny and charming and arrogant and heartbreaking. He has the range to be convincing in the quiet moments where Five’s humanity comes to show and in the moments where Five goes completely off the rails. Most child actors act with other children, but he is the only child in the main cast, and holds his own in scenes with adults not as a child, but as an adult on equal footing with the other adult characters. That’s not something to be taken for granted. But even apart from the fact that it’s a child actor who carries a lot of the plot and the drama of a series for adults, Aidan Gallagher’s portrayal of Five is also just so much fun. The comedic timing is on point, he has the dramatic chops for the serious scenes, the mannerisms and visual ticks add to the character rather than distract from him, and his line deliveries, paired with his physical acting, make Five arrogant and smug but never outright malicious and unlikeable. It’s just some terrific acting that really does justice to the character as he is written, but the writing would not be as strong if it wasn’t delivered and acted out the way Aidan Gallagher does. He is an incredible asset for this show.

Alright, onto concluding this rambling. If you made it this far, I commend you, and thank you for it. The point of all of this is that Five, as a character, could have been an unmitigated disaster of a TV character. He is overpowered, arrogant, uncommunicative and could so easily have been either unconvincing or completely unlikeable, but he turned out to be neither. It’s a combination of choices in the costume department, decisions in the writing room, and Aidan Gallagher’s acting skills that make the things that should make him obnoxious and annoying incredibly entertaining, and I hope you liked my long-winded exploration of these. Some nuance was lost along the way, but if I had not stopped myself, this would’ve become a full-blown thesis.

[aelaer]

Hi friend! You seem vast in your knowledge of Stephen and willing to share so please enlighten me as I don’t read the comics but I do watch the mcu movies, and do love Stephen.

I know he’s erratic and impulsive and reckless sometimes but didnt we already complete this arc in his first movie? Especially since we’ve watched him deal with the consequences of his actions for the entirety of the film and end of the movie Stephen was a different Stephen from the beginning of the movie.

IW Stephen seemed like a more mature version of the man we’ve met at the end of his first movie, a linear progression of the character, more responsible.

The spider man trailer is just a few minutes so I’ll further reserve judgment till I see the film, but he seems.. silly almost? I’m aware he has his funny moments but I’m just nervous they’re gonna make him the joke instead of having him make the jokes.

Do you notice anything weird about how the adults act in these newer marvel projects.? (I’m thinking of loki specifically) they all have a silly undertone to them? I cant put my finger on it but it’s definitely new and ..off

Is this a constant characterization for Stephen in the comics? Is this what he’s like all the time?

Regardless, thank you for your time if you see this xx

Oh yeah, Stephen's my favorite subject at the moment so I'm happy to give my thoughts!

Note that my answers apply to MCU!Stephen and what we've seen in the four films he's been in.

I know he’s erratic and impulsive and reckless sometimes but didnt we already complete this arc in his first movie? Especially since we’ve watched him deal with the consequences of his actions for the entirety of the film and end of the movie Stephen was a different Stephen from the beginning of the movie.

In my experience of just living, there are personality quirks that can be tempered out and made better, but not entirely eliminated, even if it's undesirable. In my opinion, Stephen's need to push himself and prove that he can Do A Thing is a trait that won't ever go away--especially as that trait has helped him more than hindered him. Examples would include the more mundane such as getting through a combined MD/PhD program and inventing surgical procedures at what is still a really young age for a neurosurgeon. We don't have a canonical age for Stephen, but Benedict was 40 when Doctor Strange was filmed and released; even if he's canonically in his mid-40s, that's still very young for him to be at his caliber after the necessary years of med school and residency in the United States. He's young and nowhere near the end of his career when he gets in the car crash. So with that information in mind, we know that he's very ambitious and throws himself into doing difficult work with gusto. That doesn't even go into everything he did as a sorcerer.

Why get into all of this? Because while we, the viewer who has seen the multiverse open at... some point (possibly, in a rewritten timeline, it's always been open now with what happened in Loki!), we have seen just how nuts it gets. We have seen the consequences. Stephen's smart, but I don't think it's a matter of strictly recklessness and more a combination of ignorance on this specific subject (erasing memories across the world or slightly rewriting time-- we don't know how he's doing it, but a memory spell makes more sense to me), hubris (of course), and the real desire to help Peter out. The latter two traits combined in intelligent people have proven bad in both fiction and reality.

The reason I don't think it's pure impulsiveness is because in the trailer, we see Stephen doing some meditation type thing in the underground area before the spell. He's also always doing research and as he tells Peter he'll help him, he clearly knows of a spell already and has some working knowledge of how it works. The conversation with Wong wouldn't have happened otherwise. But I personally get the vibe off him that he'd not do it without being very confident that he can do it -- and his history in the films has shown 0 failures in any of his spells once he's past novice-level, so in that aspect, his confidence makes sense. If he *should* do the spell due to the risks of failure, and lack of practicing precaution in the face of his confidence, is where his flaws lie, IMO. And in that sense people could say he was reckless for deciding to perform a complicated, dangerous spell, but that follows his M.O. completely -- he performed a very complicated, dangerous spell consistently with the Time Stone again and again, from how the sorcerers spoke about the Infinity Stone (and he casually just... throws himself into a time loop, then to look through time. He takes calculated risks, but they are very much risks).

One last thought on this statement - the biggest, biggest lesson that Stephen learned in his first film was that it was not about him. There was more to the world than his glory and his brilliance and even his happiness. He started doing things for the greater good rather than himself. And he started doing things for others -- fighting for the Sanctum in his own film, and protecting the Earth. Serving something greater than himself. But that doesn't make him suddenly humble, and it doesn't suddenly take away his strange (hah) sense of humor.

IW Stephen seemed like a more mature version of the man we’ve met at the end of his first movie, a linear progression of the character, more responsible.

He was more serious in that film. So was Tony. They still had some quips and arguments, but they were very serious. And it makes sense as to why -- it was the end of the world. So the mood of the setting would change anyone's demeanour. But he had very little chance to unwind in that film, considering that he was trying to protect one of six items that would destroy the universe, and also got freaking tortured in the middle of the film with little time to recover. But nearly every Avenger was super serious in that film, and for good reason.

It's a completely different setting from what is now Stephen's life which, from what little we've seen in the trailer, is weird enough that he got a magical snowstorm in the Sanctum. It's safe enough that Wong's off on vacation. It's been nearly a year since he returned from the dead. He's either figured out how to move on in the last year or, as some prefer, has gotten good enough to put on a facade and bury the trauma so far down that he's putting on a normal act - but that's up to debate until MoM. And we have no idea if old traumas are going to be brought up there or if it's just the new things.

I think the point is that it's possible to be both a responsible person and also to make colossal mistakes due to either emotional connections or hubris (or both - we don't know which way the film will go, if they'll explain it at all). They're not mutually exclusive. He can be protecting reality fantastically, while also believing that he's skilled enough to pull off the ability to pull off a dangerous spell which he did in his own film and in IW. He's guided the timeline down a specific path in IW/Endgame, after all - what's a little identity item compared to the fate of the universe, after all? Removing the Spider-Man/Peter association is, in comparison, child's play I imagine to a man like Stephen.

The spider man trailer is just a few minutes so I’ll further reserve judgment till I see the film, but he seems.. silly almost? I’m aware he has his funny moments but I’m just nervous they’re gonna make him the joke instead of having him make the jokes.

Do you notice anything weird about how the adults act in these newer marvel projects.? (I’m thinking of loki specifically) they all have a silly undertone to them? I cant put my finger on it but it’s definitely new and ..off

He was definitely silly in his own film. He was constantly trying to get Wong to laugh and there was a banter between Stephen and Christine after he gets stabbed. He's always been a bit awkward and a bit jokey--I think Thor showed that combination of humorous snark and good research rather well, though he was flippant in a way that didn't get to show his kinder side that is better established in his film. And now we get to see that sympathy in his agreement to help Peter (at least, in my opinion).

Because he was doing an amazing awesome spell not once, not twice, but *three* times in the trailer alone, I am not worried about Stephen just being a joke. He seems just as powerful as he was in IW and Endgame. The rest of the world is just getting reminded that he's definitely a bit of a socially awkward duck at times (or, if you prefer, Putting On a "I'm Fine" Front And It's Coming Across As Weird). So him being a big joke is not something I am personally worried about.

Situational humor has been a staple of Marvel films since Iron Man. I watched the films casually before 2016 when I fell head deep into Stephen Strange (or well, 2018/9 is more accurate as that's when I *really* went nuts), and my viewings before that time and after that time was a lot more analytical. And it's very easy to see where the silliness started, all the way back when Tony crashed into his own car and Dum-E sprayed him with a fire extinguisher. Thor was the butt of the joke in the "fish out of water" scene in a good, good chunk of the film. Even Captain America had some situational humor. And remember that Guardians of the Galaxy was back in 2014, which was halfway through the MCU's time thus far. The stars of these films are almost always the butt of some joke a couple times and do things that could be viewed as childish.

I don't know your age at all, but if you were born after 1990, what might be happening, rather, is that they are not getting sillier, but that you may be getting older. I was an adult (legally, at least) in 2008, but the way I view the adults of the films throughout the early 2010s as compared to now is night and day. It's just come with my own life experience, and wider understanding to media tropes. The jump is even more significant if you were younger in Iron Man/Avengers days and are an adult now. If you're an older adult than me, then I'd argue it's the matter of life experience adding to your overall knowledge of media plus, potentially, rose-tinted glasses giving you a better vision of the older movies while forgetting that the older movies had plenty of their own flaws (and silliness). Could be a lot of things- it's too individual to really say why your perspective has changed. But I don't think the MCU's largely changed their comedy formula since 2012/2013.

Is this a constant characterization for Stephen in the comics? Is this what he’s like all the time?

Oh the comics are a mess of characterizations. It's very difficult to find full consistency across writers, and some writers did him much better than others. At the moment, Jason Aaron's 2015 run is viewed as very good by a large amount of fans, while Waid's 2018 run is viewed with mixed reviews. It's largely a matter of preference as you'll see traits that are just so uncharacteristic in an arc and then it never happens again. He takes on secret identities, he kills billions to save trillions (along with the other Avengers!), he sells his soul, he's in a steady relationship for 30 years, then he's sleeping with a new woman every arc he co-stars in-- it's just so dependent on the writer over the decades. What Marvel thinks will sell. Right now Marvel thinks his death is gonna sell issues, so yeah :P You pick and choose with the comics and build a personality from there.

Thank you for the thoughtful ask. I hope this wasn't too much of a drag to read through; I get rambly on my favorite subjects. Or anything, really.

[the-paris-of-people]

Hi. This is really not a question but more of a rant. A really really long one. I apologize in advance. I honestly care waaaaayyyy too much about this show than I should. Clearly too bored🙈.

After reading people's comments on this show and the ships, there are so many things that irk me and I thought I'd share even if I might get crap for it. So here goes:

1. "Ben only wants Devi when she is with Paxton." I.e. it's about Paxton. Lol people are funny. As though Ben thinks he can compete with Paxton on a social level. He's not stupid, he knows full well he can't. It's about Devi and in part her obsession with Paxton. People don't like thinking about things from Ben's perspective because they just don't like him. He's the one that finds out Devi is cheating, she runs after Paxton at the party ( now granted before she runs out, she's intensely staring at Ben and then realises Paxton is leaving but Ben's not gonna remember that) and she was busy chumming it up with Paxton in episode 3 in front of Ben with absolute disregard for him. So his natural defence is to guard himself and have his walls go up. It is a valid response. He burries his pain (exactly what Samberg said). And does not let his guard down around her romantically until episode 10 when Paxton literally rejects her at school. At the school dance, sparks are flying between those 2. Is Paxton around at the time...Uhm no (I'll get into the whole Aneesa thing). In his mind Paxton is out of the picture and it's like he can almost trust her again. And then when Paxton shows up with Devi, he basically feels like a fool for ever thinking that he was ever something more than 2nd best or sometimes anything at all ( especially considering Devi still wants Paxton after Devi and Paxton's last public interaction that Ben witnessed- I mean he does not get to see the shit behind closed doors). But then when Eleanor spills the tea, that look on his face is disbelief, yes a little bit of jealousy but overwhelmingly heartbreak. He is essentially watching the chance he never knew he had go away. Now you could argue that he should have known that she wanted him back but she broke his trust and does not explicitly say, " I want you back". Ben's not trying to get burnt again based on some assumption/hunch. He has been wrong before.

2. "How dare Ben be upset that Devi is with Paxton when he is with Aneesa". Fair point. Just like how dare Devi be upset and lose her shit over Ben and Aneesa. But yet it still happend. Devi gets 5 episodes allowing her to be upset and Ben can't even have one moment when a firkken bomb gets dropped on him.

Aneesa and Ben should have never date. Everyone knows that. He was never over Devi. He just pushed those feelings down to make him believe he was over her. I obviously don't agree with this. Aneesa doesn't deserve that. Ben needs to go to therapy. He needs an outlet. He is similar to Devi in that he doesn't want to process what happened and would rather move on and react. However, his reactions are far less impulsive/severe as Devi's. Him dating Aneesa is unfortunately a reaction. He didn't give himself time to really process how he feels. People say he dated Aneesa solely to spite Devi which is not true. Is there an element of " you never wanted me but someone else does"... absolutely but Aneesa is also very kind to Ben, they get along really well and she puts him first. Technically what's not to like. I mean if it was just to spite Devi, could he have not tried to hustle his way back in with Shira?? Problem is that dumb dumb didn't work through his Devi feelings and let's just be honest, the same spark and chemistry he has with Devi, is missing with Aneesa. It often feels forced, especially in regards to the pace of the relationship. I so wished Aneesa remained friends with Ben. That's what he needed...not another relationship.

3. "Aneesa is so amazing, she doesn't deserve to get hurt." I agree. She absolutely doesn't deserve to get hurt just like Ben and Paxton didn't deserve that crap Devi pulled. I think Aneesa is a great addition and I like that Devi has someone within her community to connect to. I'm South Asian myself and I genuinely value this aspect of my own life. I mean she is pretty great, kind and the anorexia rumour Devi unintentionally started was pretty heartbreaking. That scene where she talks to Devi at the relay about it, is so sad (especially coz we as viewers know Devi messed up). Now that being said is Aneesa also low key shady? YES. And it's not because she dated her friend's ex. It's because she started dating him knowing that Devi started the rumour about her because she was jealous about Ben and her. How does she think Devi would go from being so jealous that she starts a rumour, to the next week becoming their biggest "Stan". Come on girl. But there was no way Devi could say no after the crap she pulled with Aneesa. Ben did ask her out so if there is blame, he absolutely gets it too but he didn't know why Devi started that rumour (based on his surprised AF face when Eleanor spills the tea). Which leads me to my next question. Why didn't Aneesa tell him? Aneesa said Ben was supporting her through the rumour. She probably told him Devi started the rumour but didn't tell him why? That is odd? Clearly if Ben had known, he may changed his perspective on Devi actually wanting him instead of ignoring his feelings.

Lastly Aneesa knows there are unresolved feelings between Devi and Ben. This is evident from that dance scene. She literally runs to cut in their pretty intense conversation. Like why you running girl? I didn't think much of it at first but coupled with another moment, it makes a lot of sense. When Ben agrees to dance with Aneesa, he looks back at Devi and lingers and Aneesa picks up on this and pulls him away. It's a blink and you will miss it moment but it is there.

Now all of this doesn't mean she needs to get hurt but they probably need to break up. Ben needs to be single for a while and work through how he feels about Devi, Aneesa and most importantly himself. Whilst I don't particularly enjoy their relationship, you never get to see it from either of their perspectives. Maybe that could change things but honestly I just prefer Ben and Devi.

Also can everyone stop acting like Ben is dating Devi's best friend. Being brown doesn't make you automatically best friends and Ben and Devi met Aneesa the same week. People are acting like he is dating Eleanor.

4. "Devi chose Paxton". Please! The only thought through decision that girl made in regards to these 2 boys is when she chose herself and decided not to be Paxton's little secret. I mean in episode 1 and 2 she can't decide so she dates both. In episode 3, she interacts with Paxton because of the whole tutoring thing. He says they don't makes sense. While she seems a bit sad she doesn't seem too upset like she is season 1 and she isn't looking for any opportunity to spend time with him (unlike season 1). Episode 4,5,6,7 and 8 she is losing her mind over Ben. Half way through 8 she knows she has no choice but to let him go. But even after that she doesn't pursue Paxton. He does that at the end of episode 9 when in all honesty she hasn't really thought about him in a while. Then of course Paxton does what he does and she finally choose herself, issuing an ultimatum essentially. Paxton does eventually show up...but it's a choice by default. She just yo-yo's between them. She also needs to be single, deal with her loss, love herself and think about what she wants.

5. "Devi loves Paxton". Sure bud. Does have Devi have feeling for Paxton? Duh! But is it love. Nope. People like to confuse infatuation for love. She has been infatuated with this boy this the 3rd (she knew squat about him). When her dad died, she turns that infatuation into an obsession. It like becomes a full time hobby in season 1. She ruins relationships over it. In season 2 you can argue there is more depth to it and Paxton does grow in Season 2. But somehow she is still fixated on the fact that it's Paxton Hall-Yoshida. I mean she smells him (totally normal), Mc Enroe's comment at the relay was, "did this hunk of beef just say he likes spending time with her", when she breaks up him she says , "you are very good at kissing" not possibly any of his other good qualities. And at the end she says , "I guess I'm Paxton Hall Yoshida's girlfriend now". This boy is so far up a pedestal that if he fell of it, he'd break something. Now granted if he fell of it in Season 1, he'd be dead. So progress I guess...

Maybe the relationship will change in Season 3 and she genuinely falls in love with him. I mean Id be sad but obviously a real possibility. But also that relationship needs to move on from being just the "Paxton project" which it was basically all of season 2. Maybe actually talk about her every once in a while.

Also people who find the ending so amazing because he shows up...bare minimum bro. I understand his perspective, how does it look to go back with someone who cheated on you. Fair point 💯. However she didn't start this shit up again. He did. He liked her so much that he had to make out with her In the middle of the night out of the blue but not enough to respect her publically. That's some BS right there. If he started it, he should have thought it through instead of guilt tripping her. But he is a teenager and ALL of them make incredibly stupid decisions (we all have). Devi messed up big time too and she apologized. The same compassion must extend to him but in no way is it a grand gesture, it's the bare minimum...like her apologies

6. "Paxton forgave Devi forgave Devi so quickly whilst Ben didn't and was so mean". He did forgive her pretty quickly. Good for him. However let's not act like circumstance didn't carve the way for that. They were pushed together because of the whole tutoring thing and he knows that they have to see each other all the time. So logically just makes sense to keep the peace. But still mature oh his part. Also he wasn't as emotionally invested as Ben. Did he have feelings? Yes. However, based on his inner monologue (Gigi Hadid) his ego took more of a hit because how could Devi, the "weirdest girl" he ever liked two time him with Ben Gross. Did his feelings deepen by the end? Yes. But at the start...it isn't that deep.

Also it's great and all that he "forgave" her so quickly but he sure did like bringing it up a lot. Like at the relay guilting her, upset at the end of 6 because he failed...I mean wtf girl you owe me- I don't really care what else is going on in your life, again in episode 8 in the car and finally we all know the mess that is episode 10.

In regards to Ben. His anger is justified for reasons stated in point 1. In fact his reaction seems more real because he is deeply hurt by Devi. Do I like some of his reaction (i.e. nose piercing-will discuss this further) ...nope but she only sincerely apologises to him in episode 8 vs 3 for Paxton. He accepts it. People acting like they would be so calm and chill about being cheated on. And yes he did cheat on Shira. He tries to kiss Devi at party twice but apologises that day and the following week. He doesn't try anything with Devi the whole of episode 10 until she kisses him. He acknowledges that it was wrong and immediately breaks up with Shira. Although cheating is not something we should condone can we actually acknowledge that Shira was the worst and doesn't even remember Ben's name. Compare that to Devi's premeditated cheating. Her Eleanor are literally laughing at how amazing they are for pulling it off and Devi didn't care about either of their feelings cause she was going to be India. Sorry but that is far worse. She also thinks she can bullshit her apology with Ben. He isn't here for that...which is fine! He kept trying his level best to avoid her but even that she wouldn't let him do.

7. "Ben is Horrible". Has Ben done some shitty things. Absolutely. People complain that he has never apologised for anything. Fair enough. He needs to apologize for the UN comment and the psychosomatic comment. It was incredibly hurtful. However, no one does call him out of it. Now you could argue he should just do it. Please... have you watched these particular set of teenagers? None of them apologise without being called out on it first(except maybe Fabiola). And you only get called out my your support system ... which Ben does not have. He practically looks like he raised himself. He doesn't have parents to put him back in line or a sister to call him out on his shit. Devi has her mom, cousin, grandmum , Elanor, Fabiola and her therapist. Does she ever listen to them the first time? Nope. And her first time apologies are such messes. She only gets it right the 2nd or 3rd time. All of them have some form of support but not really him. And it is heartbreaking. It's why I genuinely believe he needs to go to therapy. He needs an outlet to express everything he feels. He also needs to be held accountable for those comments and understand the root of it (ok let's be honest Devi even in their rivalry was probably the most constant person in his life, and fighting with her meant she stayed close by- it's a subconscious thing). He should apologize to her and also find better ways to communicate what he is feeling. The nose ring thing was manipulative. I agree. He should apologize. But I'm not gonna lie, it doesn't piss me off as much because I think it's pretty messed that it took that for her to realise how much she hurt him. Also tbh if you were willing to alter your body on a 2 minute thought out dare, you wanted to do it anyway. But again not a healthy way to emote on Ben's part. The David thing doesn't upset me because he knows how to pronounce her actual name. It's not like he doesn't know how and doesn't bother to try. It was part of their rivalry to irritate her. I honestly find it quite endearing as part of their friendship and think Devi does. I may be wrong and she may not like it and in that case he needs to stop and apologize.

I am not upset by him coming over to her house and calling her out about Aneesa. She deserved it. Also if she was that uncomfortable she could have taken him outside to talk like she did with Paxton. She is clearly comfortable enough to have him in the house. And her therapist agrees with Ben. If he hadn't, she wouldnt have known that Aneesa was leaving. Her mom took away her phone. And even then her first attempt at an apology was soooooo bad. And I don't think Ben did it solely to get Aneesa to stay so he could date her. This is Ben, he was willing to do long distance with Devi from India, I think he could have done the same with Aneesa from like the same town 🙄

I genuinely like Ben because he is a good kid. He makes mistakes like they all do. His personality is hilarious to watch but also his and Devi's relationship is so special. Me liking Ben and Devi has nothing to do with what Paxton has or has not done. I just like the dynamic between the two. They obviously care deeply for each other. Their conversations are hilarious. I love their banter. I love how comfortable they are with each and am sometimes surprised by the depth of their conversations. But also they have amazing chemistry. All the jealous looks and angst are between these two idiots pining for each other. I think she does have chemistry with Paxton but it's more because he is PHY, school Adonis. I mean let's be honest, he'd probably have chemistry with Fabiola solely cause he is PHY. The two nerds just match each other and it's so funny how often they are in sync. It's honestly adorable. They just get each other. That bathroom scene was the sweetest thing and also proves he's not this terrible person. She only comes out of the stall because of his support. He is genuinely hurt for her when technically it should have been a great moment for him.

I do believe the two have to be single for a bit before admitting their feelings for one another and moving forward. That's why my main thing for season 3 is that he absolutely cannot interfere in her relationship with Paxton. He needs to give her the space to figure that. Do I think there will be moments between them... absolutely but no cheating please. Everyone needs to move on from that. If they do it...I honestly think il be done with the show.

Anyways sorry for the really long ramble. If you made it to the end thanks for your patience 😌

Thank you for this beautiful masterpiece, I pretty much agree with everything and need to put it out there for the world to see

[campyvillain]

ok i mentioned earlier that i wanted to make a fnaf au that sort of does it’s own thing and is it’s own beast entirely so I spent a few hours writing a few things down and here are the basic plot elements nd stuff!! fair warning tho it is REALLY long so that’s why the readmore is there

you play as a 2nd year college student whose on vacation with 6-7 of your friends who all go to different schools. ur all on vacation in ur small hometown around the midwest region of the us, none of the friends except for one is rlly worth noting (bc i’ve yet to rlly flesh them out)

it takes place in the modern era, around summertime, and right near the end of everyones vacation.

the one friend of note I mentioned is a guy called Lester Smith! He’s really into electronics and his dream job is to become something akin to an imagineer . you and him go way back but not in the good way. You used to bully him a lot in middle-high school for being the “weird kid” and ultimately fucked up his dreams. This is because at the end of senior year, there was a robotics competition you both partook in, both in different teams, and the reward for the winning team was a fully paid scholarship for the most prestigious stem school in the state. Lester would’ve won, but the only reason he didn’t is because YOU broke into his garage late at night and tampered w his robot so that it would fail and make him seem like he was inept at programming. That’s what happened, and YOU won the scholarship instead. This was a massive blow to Lesters hopes as his parents weren’t able to pay for a proper college for him and his grades in other areas weren’t that good so he just goes to a community college now. since then you and him have became friends as he mostly seems to be on good terms w it and doesn’t SEEM to be onto you for what you did to him. you two like to talk about animatronics a lot and it’s apparent that he’s probably way smarter than you and that he probably deserved that scholarship way more than you do.

also none of your friends are accquantinced with Lester, you only just introduced them to him over break, and they seem to be getting along well. For now

thankfully for Lester his luck has turned around, he’s been showcasing these new entertainment animatronics he’s worked years on to multiple restaurant chains but they’ve all wanted nothing to do with his project because of Lester’s lack of any sort of resume etc. it all seemed doomed to fail until this local restaurant called Freddy’s (which genuinely is not affiliated with the Freddy Fazbear company because....the Fazbear company does not exist in this universe!!! it ditches the canon ALTOGETHER. the place the plot takes place in is just called Freddy’s for continuity purposes and to keep the name of the franchise) humored his offer and took him up on it. probably because the company is losing money each day and is likely only doing this so it can bring customers in and not be bankrupt

OH YEAH ALSO Freddy’s is given the funding to go thru with the animatronics initiative from an anonymous angel investor which has also allowed them to expand it and be relatively financially well off and has allowed Lester to make more animatronics and expand the place! so that’s fun

the hypothetical game takes place thruout the week-long testing period for the animatronic prototypes and the restaurants renovations are nearly done and they also need extra night guards to make sure everything goes smoothly. so you and your friends all decide to pool in and help Lester with the testing week by all becoming night guards and working together at the same time since it’s your last week together and you have nothing else to really do plus you could use the extra money but YAY!!!! FRIEND MOMENCE

Throughout the hypothetical game Lester who is also a nightguard serves as your phone guy stand-in. He calls every night to chat with you and the others, telling you about tips and tricks to make sure the animatronics work as intended, goofing off with you, infodumping about his cool robots, being a pretty neat dude and having fun. it’s so cool.

as mentioned before it ditches the series standard 5 canonical night format and goes with a full week of 7 canonical nights instead. the first night is relatively tame but as it goes on the other nightguards (who are your friends) start disappearing one by one....aka they’re being KILLED by the animatronics. you can’t really know this is happening at first because all your friends have made it clear they have to go back home on different days, and your friends disappear on the days they’re set to leave home so nothing seems amiss at first because you, and everyone else who’s still left, just thinks they headed back home like they said they would, which Lester assures you is what’s going on. but eventually in the last 2 nights you and Lester are the only ones left and it becomes apparent that your friends, or rather what remains of them, never got out at all.

remember how i said that Lester serves as the phone guy stand in and how he helped you with the animatronics? turns out a lot of the advice he fed you through calls actually ended up aiding him in killing all your friends, and technically you’re sort of to blame for why they’re not around. 50% of the advice he’s given you ends up hurting your friends and making the animatronics go after them.

plot twist! Lester is fully aware that you ruined his life at that robotics competition and as soon as he got home from it he could tell that someone, specifically you, tampered with his robot, and has been planning to brutally get back at you for years and is incredibly jealous and spiteful toward you for obvious and... pretty justifiable reasons, all things considered

on the 7th night Lester locks both you and himself in Freddy’s with no way for either of you to escape. he’s then killed by one of the animatronics and that animatronic, now possessed with his soul and with his consciousness stored inside, chases after you and tries to kill you. this is along with the other animatronics, who are now all haunted by your dead besties who died on the previous nights, partially controlled by Lester and enraged that you let them die. you spend the rest of the night evading them, but in the last few hours they all combine together into a single animatronic who is entirely controlled by Lester and goes after you even MORE and the difficulty ofc ramps up to 100.

the only way to beat the night is by going into the secret storage room and grabbing all the fireworks that you and your friends were going to set off on your last night together as a group on break - which is like, a lot of fireworks - but had to cancel due to bad weather (which was the 2nd night of the game, right around when ppl were disappearing) and luring the Mega monster animatronic to it and setting it off, destroying Freddy’s and everything in it. wether ur player character also dies in this explosion is up to ur interpretation and their fate is left ambiguous as the Newspaper Article(tm) published after night 7 states that you simply “disappeared” and doesn’t elaborate on if ur alive or not.

so yeah!!! that’s the basic plot and backstory of my fnaf au. i’ve always thought it would be really cool if there was a fnaf game based off the slasher genre (w Lester being the slasher-type villain here), that concept has always worked rlly well in my mind nd i gotta say i’m having SO much fun workshopping it. i’ll get to designing the characters and the animatronics REAL soon and i’m definitely gonna have a ball w those aspects. i’ll also probably find a name for it other than “MY FUNNY FNAF AU” so that’s cool. ok i’m done rambling im so excited to flesh this out byeeee ^^