#i think it's bc i feel somewhat comfortable with myself atm and im like okay so why am i single

[redaynia]

genuinely (not really) considering those tinder threesomes that's how crazy I am feeling this valentines

[carotriesstudy]

When you’re not doing well at uni and failing

okay, i know im not the best at keeping this blog bc its like not a physical thing so i forget i have it lol

but i wanted to just talk a little and vent bc of my life is pretty shit atm (the tips at the start are written post rant to actually give some advice instead of just venting)

Tip 1 - get out of bed

I know its hard, I could spend my life in bed and tbh I do. but I also know that while it feels like taking care of yourself to relax, I know it’ll make me more depressed. and it's super hard. I constantly tell myself to get up while lying there an entire day. but when you feel that little spur of energy or in my case annoyance lol use it. get up and get out. 

Tip 2 - get out of your room

this is similar to tip 1 but if you find yourself in lack of motivation or energy go somewhere. take a walk, or go study in a library or cafe. and this can be even harder. having to get dressed? maybe interact with people? are you kidding me? but the minute you get out and even when you interact with people it feels better. you aren't holed up in your depression or whatever might be bothering you. 

Tip 3 - it’s okay and it’s going to be better

right now it's shit. and it feels like its never going to get better. and that you're stuck in this rut forever. but things will turn even if you don't want them to. there can be a comfort and security in your depression bc it gives a reason to why it feels like its right. but you know what also feels like that? the good, and hopefully there will be more of those. 

Tip 4 - do as much as you can handle

it's easy to not do things. I haven't done anything all semester. and it sucks bc it's biting me in the ass now. and it's not like I don't have the time. I just don't have the energy. so when I have the energy I need to remember that reading 3 pages of assigned reading is still better than none. I go to class even if I'm not paying attention bc it gets me up and out but also it gives a good idea of what I need to focus on etc.

Tip 5 - its okay to “give up”

i dont like the phrase giving up that much bc it sounds like defeat. i am in a process of severly considering not starting again next semester bc of my mental health. its serious consideration. but its one i need to make and if i decide not to go, it doesnt mean i gave up, i just realised that my current situation iisnt good and that i need to change stuff before i can continue instead of wasting my time doing a shit job at an expensive uni. so, thats good. figuring out what works and what doesnt is only a positive thing

today im in a somewhat good mood despite learning i failed my stats exam (dw its not bad we have multiple so i can still pass)

but the thing is, i have been in a very bad place or a long time and it has really been affecting me and by extension also my education.

i feel apathetic towards everything, im uninterested, and the stress and obligatoin feel i used to really on to study isnt kicking in anymore due to the apathy

im constantly tired, i cant get out o bed in the morning and we have madatory attendance (which probably is good bc otherwise i wouldnt be going to class probably)

my concentration and attention is somewhere completely different atm and its been weeks like this (usually its a few days) and i cant control it very well and its making it hard for me to study and pay attention

im letting myself slip, my room is slipping, my health is slipping

while im trying to get better and be more social which is easier than studying bc usually its just me and this one friend getting high and watching stupid videoes which is nice bc its a break to feel happy and entertained but its also not good for me

back to school stuff since this is a study blog

im no doing good in any of my classes, i barely passed two exams, failed one and possibly one more

i have an exam on friday i need to study for, and one on monday. i neeed good grades in these to make up for the not so good marks i have received before

and while i know that taking care of your mental health is more important not feeling like doing academic work is bothering me a lot actually and its a hellish circle of poor mental health leads to poor academic performance which then leads to poor mental health

and while my apathy and alexithymia saves me from feeling sad or upset by my grades i know deep down i want to do well. i want to succeed. 

i cant keep not working, i need to put in work if i wanna improve. this isnt high school anymore

im doing some hard courses this semester and while i am usually interested in most of them i cant seem to care 

im doing better today mentally and i feel up for getting some stuff done so im going to exploit that but i also just want to sleep and wake up feeling actually awake for once

im also getting sick so thats fun

my parents are also making me see a therapist (i haven't started yet) and i think thats a good idea but i have a lot of anxiety about it lol hence why i need therapy 

im also going to talk to counsellor at school and see what she can help with as well

idk what id going to happen but im trying to finish my semester and get back into a good study rhythm. I anyone wants to throw some advice or encouragement my way id really appreciate it.

[buddaheadcannonsonice]

Rika's back and MC gets left P. 4

Rika is back and MC gets sick at the same time she feels abandoned. Part 1 (x) | Part 2 (x) | Part 3 (x) | Part 4 (x) | Part 5 (x)

Rika felt a sense of satisfaction

She got off being the one everyone considered the most

sure, she lead MC to the RFA

sure she made a lot of trouble for MC and the rest of the members

But the one thing she did not want anyone to forget or even ever know really was

it also meant she could take her out of rfa with ease

And they wouldn't ever know it was her or care if all went to her plan

-- Yoosung --

From the last time MC invited Yoosung over, he remembered where she now lived

Why didn't I visit her sooner?

Yoosung made his way to her building, knocking repeatedly and waiting for a response

Where is she? It's almost midnight…

He almost gave up when she didnt answer either calls, text, or the door

Rika! Yoosung was surprised to see his cousin walk by

“Yoosung, what are you doing here so late?”

I came to see if MC is okay, shes been MIA for a while

“She’s fine! I talked to her not too long ago and she said that she was going to visit her family for a few weeks. I forgot to tell you guys about it too… sorry.”

It’s fine, don’t worry about it! Though, it would have been better if she told us herself…

“I dont know the details, but something about one of her family members being recently diagnosed with a terminal illness.. Yeah, it was terrible. She said they started to cough blood and she went to go help them through the process. Poor MC.”

You’re genuinely concerned for MC, you’re so nice Rika.

“Ofc, shes a memeber of the rfa too!”

Sorry, its just i know you dont know her that much, but im glad you guys get along well. Do you know when she’ll be back?

“I think after the funeral. Though it may be longer since i dont know how shell be okay after all of that. Next time we talk, ill ask her, okay? How about we go visit V? Im sure hes awake and wouldnt mind if you came over for a sleep over”

Yoosung felt like a huge boulder had been lifted from his shoulders now that he knew MC was physically okay

He felt bad that she didnt tell anyone that she was leaving to tend to a sick family member

But he felt that he would forgive her since she seemed more of a private person

I should get her a gift basket when she comes back; poor MC will be greiving when she returns- I could add chocolates and that coffee she likes with an uber soft blanket. Yeah, i wil do that for sure when RIka tells me when she comes back

Yoosung wanted to be a shoulder for MC when she came back since she was there for him when Rika was gone

he wanted to prove to her and himself and RIka that he was more than just a college student who played a lot of video games; that he was also a capable man

-- Zen --

Zen has entered the chatroom.

Zen: MC! Please call me when you get this!

Rika: Zen, I forgot to tell everyone that MC went back to her home country to take care of a sick family member. I didnt want to say anything right away but she told me just recently that it may be a while before she returns because of how bad things are …

Jahee has entered the chatroom.

Jahee: Oh no that’s terrible. Is her family member in that bad of condition for MC to leave without saying bye?

Rika: I am afraid so. From what I know, they are really ill that it is now deemed terminal.

Zen: Oh man, i really thought something happened to MC

Rika: What do you mean?

Zen: I dont know, I thought maybe she got bored of us and left us or something happened to her health wise. I hope she knows that we are all here for her when she comes back

Rika: Dont jinx anything! I’ll let her know though that you were worried whenever we talk again ^^

Jahee: Please do. Id feel much better though if I could talk to her soon. Do you think you can let her know to call me please?

Rika: I will pass the message along!

Zen: me too please, I really miss her :c

Rika: I will, you guys worry too much ^^ dont worry guys, everything will be perfectly fine ^^

Zen: alighty then, i gotta go and meet some directors to talk about my wonderful gorgeous face making its appearance on stage soon, bye~

Jahee: Oh my heart!

Rika: Good luck!

Zen has left the chatroom.

He didnt trust Rika

He didnt even trust Jahee at the moment

He knows he saw MC at the store that night

And it seems highly unlikely that she would just leave without explaining the situation

Especially if someone she cared about was really sick

Would she?

-- Jahee --

From what Mr. Han had been accumulating she knew what was going on somewhat

Though if the rest of rfa should know she didnt feel like she had a place to tell them

She did abandon MC just like the rest did

She wont deny that what the rfa did to MC was abandon her at a time she would have needed them 

despite all MC probably gave up to help them 

But she didnt want anyone to be in the unknown

Although, she didn't know if Rika was lying or telling the truth maybe rika did know mc was sick and didnt want to tell because MC said so

Jahee didnt want to risk anything by letting the cat out of the bag cringing

For now all she felt like she could do was gather as much as she could about people with pneumonia 

She would look into it since that was all Mr. Han told her

Maybe find some coffee as well for MC and maybe chocolates as she thinks about pleading for forgiveness 

-- Jumin --

He had no right to act like he should care for MC anymore

The moment they all left her, everyone in the rfa lost all the rights to care for MC

The only thing he could do was offer her the best treatment possible when he found out what she had it made him very uncomfortable to not know what she was suffering from

aside from the stabbing pains of being betrayed that he couldn't fix for her

but that was only if Seven could find a way into breaking MC out of there

But he knew the longer they waited the worse she would get

When he saw MC through the camera on Sevens screen, he knew he never wanted to know what it felt to lose someone again

After he though rika died, he felt like his world tipped over

But if he loses MC, he knows he wont ever have a reason to go on living with himself

He did find comfort knowing that MC never seemed to have had lost her personality and all that made her so easy to be around

By the looks of it, it was all thanks to Paco who never seemed to leave her side

Are you almost done?

“I want her out of there as soon as possible as well, okay?”

Jumin was taken back with how Seven snapped

“Dont let it get to you, he always gets like this”  the famous ‘Vanderwood’ who leaned on the side of the wall said

I dont want to know

He decided he didnt want to get into what Seven did on his own time also bc ‘Miss’ Vanderwood was slightly scaring him

“Just get the IP address so we can get there and go”

“I cant just do that! Well, I can but there seems to be more stuff this guy is feeding me atm and its all about MC”

“Look at it when you get her out of there! Poor girl must be seconds away from kicking the stupid bucket”

Excuse me?

“DOnt take it to heart, he gets angry when he has to wait before a job”

“Shut the fuck up, I still have my taser, you oaf”

What do you mean hes feeding you?

“I mean, this Unknown guy wants her found but for some odd reason he cant let her go… idk myself, but it looks like hes just doing his job”

“What makes you say that?”

“RIght here it says: Job. No. Yes.- Unknown”

Isnt that a good thing then? That means we can get MC out faster

JUmin didnt care for all the extra side stuff

He wanted to just get to the point and storm in there to save MC and take her to the doctors he had on standby

Just hurry up!

“I would want to bu- OH shit”

Jumins heart stopped for a millisecond thinking that MC died

When he didnt see anything abnormal on the screen that showed MC he was confused

But looking at what Seven saw

He understood

Is that Rika?

-- 707 --

Watching RIka give MC injections of unknown substances made him physically want to scream

Why would she do that?

What was she even giving MC?

Where is Unknown?

“Damn, white loaf can really go on strong” he ignored Vanderwoods snide comment focusing on V holding MC down so Rika could give her another injection

“Let’s go now Seven, no more playing around!”

Okay okay, let me just get this on my laptop so we can watch as we go

“If we take my helicopter we could be there quicker”

Yeah lets do that

Seven was in a daze

As he looked into the breadcrumbs Unknown was giving him

He began to wonder why Unknown even took MC away if he was going to help them in the end

Unless he too was forced into do this all

But why would Rika do this? What could she gain from this?

“Please dont”

Seven turned to look at Jumin who looked at him when they heard MC’s voice

“Ready or not here it comes~” Rika sang

“You both may want to look away” Seven heard Vanderwood say before turning away

Not once had he ever looked away from the screen while on the job

--

You begged her to stop

Whatever it was, it wasn't the same anymore

You began to remember names and faces but you couldn't match them together

Please stop this, it hurts!

“Sweetie, you're dying anyways, this is me being merciful and helping you go faster. Be thankful.”

What about that other stuff? What was that other stuff?

“It will all be over quickly if you just listen to her, please MC”

You turn to look at the stranger with the sunglasses: who’s MC?

Am I MC? Are they talking to me ?

You think you know them but you can't match any faces or names at all

“I'd ask if you have any last words you want me to give to someone but at this point, you probably don't know if you have any friends or family “

You shake your head trying to think

Somewhere someone has to know who you are

Why can't I talk?

You panic; thrashing your body away from the woman and man

“Stop it!” You hear it before you feel a stinging sensation on your cheek

“Like I said,you're already dying “ the woman says as she huffs for air

The look on her face scares you

It looks like she's enjoying whatever is happening

“You should never talk to strangers “ you feel the weight of something hard crash on you holding your face down on the now cold floor

“Don't ever go to places you don't know”

The pressure intensifies making your head build more pressure like it will explode

“Rika, that's too much” you hear the man from earlier

Help me please! you silently beg 

You wonder why he doesn't help you

“Stay out of this V”

You feel something stab your shoulder

Then you don't feel anything at all

-- Vanderwood --

Seven was annoying

Richie rich was annoying

They all were pissing him off

The rush to get to where this girl was chaotic

He was used to the silence that Seven would accompany him with

But not like this

This silence was deafening and suffocating

-- V --

He didnt want to harm MC

she was one of the good ones 

but he didnt want to make Rika any worse than she already was

He knew 707 or Jumin must have caught on by now 

with the help he got from Unknown, he knew they would make it but not soon enough

He made sure that whatever happened; it would all be on him 

Even if MC may never wake up again

even if Rika would spend a lot of time in the hospital 

even if Jumin and everyone in the RFA should come to hate him

even if he should become the villain; 

he would do whatever it takes to preserve Rika’s legacy and love and pride

He just needed for MC to hold onto life 

She was already sick 

and the medication he had replaced with the medication Rika wanted Unknown to give her seemed to have been working 

He made sure Unknown gave her the treatment she needed

But he didnt anticipate for Rika to inject her with a strong dose of whatever she had made for MC

By the looks of it 

it definitely was not the same that he had Unknown give her

-- Unknown -- 

Any minute now, it would all be over 

one way or another, MC would no longer suffer

He knew that by lying to Rika he was compromising his safety as well as Saeyoung’s

But he couldnt kill MC slowly

not with what RIka had made for her 

No. 

Instead, he made sure he gave her the medication she needed 

he made sure that Saeyoung would find the bread crumbs he left 

He expected Rika to pull something big for the finally so he made MC an antidote to what Rika had 

he didnt give it to her yet but he would have to leave it for Saeyoung to find if Paco didnt find a way of getting the vile out of his jacket before they got to MC

All he needed now was to find a way to make amends 

To MC and to everyone else 

but he would do that after he found a way to forgive himself and Saeyoung 

because if he didnt make him hate him; none of this would have happened 

and MC would have had treatment for this and have never been involved 

When would Saeyoung see how toxic both were to everyone else?

Especially to someone good and simplistic and perfectly normal like MC. 

Did Saeyoung even know?

Did his brother know how toxic both brothers were to everyone?

Like how toxic they were to one another.

[survivorinternational]

Episode 6 - "Thank all gods, even the weird ones." - Stephen

Thank all gods, even the weird ones. I was not ready to go home pre-jury again. Although I’m still wondering if theres a hidden redemption island twist because most merges happen at 11 not 10. I also need to be careful of Clash. I trust him now, but he’s a strong player. I need to be able to have my own game apart from his, and be ready to vote his ass out when he starts getting too close to ftc.

Um so I have to vote one of my 3 closest allies which sucks but if I vote Allan that’s the best it won’t upset pat or randy and keep Stephen with me as well I hope I win this game I will IA 

Liana won immunity which sucks because she was the easy vote and puts me in a terrible position. So far Ginger and Emily/Vilma are possible votes

----------

Everyone's so cautious about saying names this tribal council, I definitely needed that immunity. If I don't hear anything from Liana/Ginger/Emily, I'm going to put Ginger's name out there and see where it gets me

----------

Looking quite bad here, Emily did tell me I should be safe, but just incase that was to mislead me, I attempted some very poor guilt trip/flattery. :(

i’m like pretty okay with going to tribal tbh because i trust the four in my alliance with me? like the only one i’m a bit weary about is ginger just bc she’s like a lil weird in general lol and she could turn on a dime :/ but i do think that if she did choose to turn on me, vilma, and michael, she wouldn’t choose me to vote out this round. she’d probably go for michael? but that’s only IF she chooses to flip. idk if she will. i have high hopes that this round will be pretty smooth. if i had it my way, we could vote tyler out now because i think he’s not as invested in this game as jacob. and it’s hard to play with people who are invested. if tyler or jacob don’t go this round, at least from our tribe, i’ll be very confused? also looking forward to merge! i’m worried but at the same time i’m content. like it’ll be a small merge which i love and i have pretty good relationships with a lot of the people left. so! that’s cute! i think i’m in a good position right now. well liked, in a somewhat powerful position, and under the radar for the most part. i haven’t really done much (or gone to many tribals for that matter) that have made me feel like a threat. yes, i was a leader on the saolatoga tribe and i was the one that brought up daniel’s name at first, but it was like an easily agreed upon decision. i don’t think people were too shaken or surprised by it. it’s something on my resume for me to see, not everyone else. and that’s exactly how i like it! i’ll read my list of doings at final tribal council. and i’ll wow the jury. but it won’t be obvious to them what i’m doing until they look at the game more objectively. i think that’s a good way to play. always on people’s minds, but not too much. positive opinion, involved in big decisions, but never the ring leader to the point where it’s dangerous. i think i’ve figured out a good balance! i’m hoping this takes me far. to the end!!!

----------

so there's a lot of stuff going on so im going to try to organize my thoughts. here we go. liana is immune, so that's hard on the rest of the tribe who... pretty much all wanted to vote her out but that's fine. honestly liana being immune is better for me than it is anyone else, so I am fine with it. it is making waves though, but they're fun waves. so the alliance of ginger, michael, vilma, and myself mentioned either tyler or jacob because they're the only options not in our alliance right now, but the thing is, ginger went CRAZY and was pushing for us to NOT VOTE TYLER WHATSOEVER! and they just kept pushing for jacob instead. I was very weary about this, but I didn't say anything at first until michael messages me saying that tyler is gunning for ME. and then vilma messages me saying that Michael told her this too, only he said that the reason tyler was gunning for me was because she and I were so close. SO! this means that tyler is aware of vilma and I being in an alliance. and ginger was probably the one to mention it to him. and then GINGER MADE A GROUP WITH VILMA AND TYLER SO THAT VILMA WOULD WANT TO PROTECT TYLER MORE. anyway, once this got out, michael and vilma and I made a group to talk about the vote and I think we're leaning towards ginger for the following reasons 1. way too protective over tyler for no reason. how the fuck are they so close? 2. tyler somehow knows about vilma and i's connection even though we've been extremely low key and I have never talked game with him 3. ginger is just actually crazy I think we can get liana and jacob on our side way easier than we could tyler. we're planning on telling liana and jacob about the vote, but leaving tyler and ginger in the dark. we just need to make sure none of this gets back to ginger like for real! they leak literally everything. I literally JUST messaged them saying that Tyler had thrown out my name and not even two minutes after I get a message from vilma saying that ginger had asked her about tyler throwing out my name. like ginger gets information and RUNS WITH IT. I truly cannot trust them. and it would create less waves to vote ginger out than it would anyone else on the tribe I think. like... after all the craziness that's going down, we need to send ginger home. I could kind of tell that ginger was a little weird, but I didn't expected them to be so cracked like genuinely cracked. lmao

Annoying Lyana HAD to win immunity, getting your lazy-social ass in multiple ORGs make u slay the physical game...and now I feel my ass is in danger! Im gonna do everything in order to stay here and Im already making plans. Not resting for a sec.

Sluggy voted out... saw that comming, him cheering on Stephen may have screwed us a bit At least its not Merge Double Tribal is gonna suck though. FreeRice is a great challenge, while im not 100% comfortable in my position atm but I am going to throw this challenge a little to reduce my threat a bit. Oh yay... the only one we didnt want to win immunity, and they win immunity, this is gonna make tribal fucked. I dont know what we are gonna do atm but i will to figure something out.

----------

Pre Double Elimination Tribal: I may have done it. It was messy bjt with the order of events, I may have been able to pull the strings to get Ginger voted out. Its going to have to keep Tyler in the dark but its going to have to be a risk we take. Ginger it too full on and too wild. He can't be trusted come merge 100%. Tyler i think we can work with a bit at least

Double tribal? No thank you. I’m hoping it’s allan that goes home, I never thought I’d say that. I’d really like to survive this tribal idk if I am though. I’m v nervous 

Uhhh so apparently we didn't merge and we have a double elimination round instead (Again???? I wonder if it's a redemption type thing this time). I couldn't compete in the immunity challenge due to a busy weekend irl so I'm vulnerable and really just hope I make it to merge. This round ended up being quite an emotional rollercoaster for me, here's a recap of some of my thoughts: 4:16 AM So ngl I would've wanted to go for Liana had she not won immunity She seems very sweet but I have chatted with her the least out of everyone She might've felt she was in danger Now I'm a bit lost and hope at least someone would tip me off if my name's thrown around 5:14 AM There's no way Ginger is voting Tyler out 8:26 AM Hmmm Jacob wanting to vote for Ginger I think Tyler I bet doesn't want that I'm trying to imagine whether I'd be willing to sacrifice Ginger or not if it came down to it I'd rather not I think Because he's been very open with me about his relationships and stuff So I feel I have a good read on him atm He still hasn't revealed he knows Clash though And I know he is capable of being messy Very good socially So I'm definitely scared of him But he is one of my closest bonds here atm so losing that would suck Of course if it comes down to me or him I have to go for it This really sucks because I like everyone on this tribe Jacob said he's closest to Emily and Tyler Tyler saying he wants to work with me and Ginger These relationships are so complex it's gonna be hard to find a common target And I don't even know what's my own preference I change it every three seconds 2:05 PM I tipped Michael off that Tyler and Ginger have become pretty close And he made a point that betraying that trust could cause us problems at merge Which I agree with So that leaves us Jacob I like Jacob a lot he is super nice but I agree he would probably be the 'least problematic' boot besides Liana As long as Emily is fine with it God I really just want to make merge and jury I've never not made them so my heart would break a little if I didn't Although my heart will break a little having to cast a vote for someone on this tribe tonight Everyone's so nice ugh 3:33 PM Um Okay so Michael told me Tyler is gunning for Em??? Apprently because her and I are close Soooo he wants to take a stab at me too? Not stunned by that That's not the best thing to hear right after establishing an alliance with someone Kinda feeling uneasy about Tyler and Ginger now People I am not voting for 100%: - Emily - Michael - Liana (she's immune lol) I feel Emily and Michael are being 100% with me So that makes me feel good about them 4:50 PM So looks like it'll be Ginger going That kinda sucks and kinda doesn't (mostly does) I'm partially okay with it because I've honestly been spooked by him since the very first day, he is very strong socially and he likes to be controversial sometimes which I like to stay away from as much as possible BUT That guy trusts me And he is genuinely very nice I like talking to him I'm gonna feel super super super dirty voting him out My heart will be filled with sorrow and I'm kinda scared of his anger afterwards He has been super honest with me so far But others are being put off by his aggressive playstyle Ughh it breaks my heart to lie to Ginger But I’m not gonna go out of my way to save him here I just don’t think that would be smart plus the numbers just wouldn’t be there Plus I feel more secure moving forward with Emily and Michael 0:04 AM I feel really really bad about this, haven't really been able to eat all day I understand why I took a six month break from orgs My mind is just not built for these I feel too bad about betraying people Plus I just think this move isn't quite ideal for me I'm betraying someone who trusts me so much and leaving out Tyler who also wanted to work with me, at least if I was alongside Ginger But I really just feel more comfortable staying with Emily and Michael I'm so sorry I'm a pussy and don't want to go out of my way to save an ally It's on me 0:57 AM I might have just messed up because I just talked to Liana assuming she had already heard about the plan but turns out NO ONE had talked to her about it yet... Two hours before tribal???? God if she lets Tyler or Ginger know I am going to be in massive trouble Also I don't think I can attend the tribal live I feel sick and disgusted at myself because of this vote, it's too much I hate myself Ginger I'm so sorry you were nothing but a good friend to me and I'm doing you so dirty I feel absolutely horrible having to lie to your face 

Did I already make a confessional about this? idk. I won immunity! yay! this is good on two ends: I cant get blindsided and; I can maintain a fiction with my Ala Mai boys that I would have been next to go most likely if I need to. Right now the target is Allen, because if we vote Randy out Pat will be miffed. My only issue with that is it gives Pat a lot of power, especially if its not an American who gets voted out from the other tribe. 

So that immunity didn’t go well. The one person we couldn’t have winning the challenge, won the challenge. Now the 4 are going to have to cannibalise ourselves and I definitely fear that eyes are on myself and Clash. Our only hope is to try and get Stephen on our side but I’m really not sure if we’ll be able to do that 

Arg hi. Just woke up and we’re gonna thrive today. That’s a lie I never actually thrive it’s a facade. Anywho we’re going to tribal cause of the double tribal twist hooray. Everyone was down to vote liana but oh no she won immunity. Right so I like ginger and Jacob but these rats are going after eachother. Everyone is extremely quiet I wouldn’t be surprised if it was me going. It looks like we don’t have enough votes to save Jacob idk, I just don’t want to be voted out ok bye

Nothing is cooking like im so bored Stephen own the individual immunity challenge so now the four of me pat clash and allan have to vote out im voting allan out, hope they do