#i think it’s pretty clear but for the record i am painting directly over official art

[a-sketchy]

doing these paintovers is kind of addicting ngl

[tiramisiyu]

【未定事件簿】 Tears of Themis: “Romantic Rail Getaway” Zuo Ran Route, Day 5

Translation Masterlist | Themis Event Masterlist

Zuo Ran Route: Day 1 | Day 2 | Day 3 | Day 4 | Day 5

Videos, where applicable, are hyperlinked on the headings in the post.

See under cut!

Part 1 – Forenlo Commerce Street – “Trailing Forenlo Palace”

A warm late-spring wind blew over from the lake surfaces of Forenlo Palace’s banks, brushing over the tips of my hair and bringing a fresh and clear breeze.

The deep green trees shaded the groups of classic buildings, like a romantic picture scroll, making it impossible to look away.

MC: Forenlo Palace is so beautiful… it’s over, I kind of don’t know what I should take a picture of.

Zuo Ran: We can look for a staff member to ask what places nearby are suitable for picture-taking.

MC: Mhmm, I was thinking this too!

--

Tourist Inquiry Booth

Staff: Hello, how may I be of service?

MC: Could you please introduce us to sceneries nearby that are suitable for picture-taking?

Staff: There are lots of gorgeous scenery locations near Forenlo Palace.

Staff: Are you interested in cultural attractions, or natural sceneries?

--

INTERROGATION START

Cultural Attractions

MC: Hm… could you recommend some cultural attractions?

Staff: For cultural building attractions, I recommend you go visit the Noblewoman’s Embankment and Cari Temple.

Noblewoman’s Embankment

MC: Where is the Noblewoman’s Embankment?

Staff: The Noblewoman’s Embankment is on the left side of Forenlo Palace. You can head straight there after walking out the inquiry booth and boarding a tour bus.

Staff: This embankment was built at the time of Rumbaliya’s old nobility and is an example of the combination of classic and artistic design amid the group of Forenlo buildings.

Staff: You could say that it’s an embankment that’s witnessed the historical development of Rumbaliya.

MC: (Hm, taking a picture of buildings with history in their structures… would be an excellent choice.)

Cari Temple

MC: Hm… is Cari Temple the place on the right side of Forenlo Palace that looks a little like an art gallery?

Staff: Yes, that was a Gothic-style palace built by old aristocracy. Now, it’s been converted into an art gallery.

Staff: Cari Temple’s external wall is very particular – it’s one of the popular trip photo targets.

Staff: Right, they often host some art exhibition and cultural exchange events there, and it’s very popular with tourists.

Staff: You might as well go see – I’m sure you’ll get something out of it.

MC: I feel like I’ll be able to take great pictures in Cari Temple.

Zuo Ran: Then let’s go see Cari Temple first in a moment.

MC: Sure, so it’s decided.

Natural Sceneries

MC: I’m somewhat interested in natural scenery.

Staff: Then I think… Angel Garden and St. Nove Flower Garden are the best choices for you.

St. Nove Flower Garden

Zuo Ran: I remember that St. Nove Flower Garden… was originally a private garden that wasn’t open to the general public. Is it now open to the public?

Staff: Yes, it was once the private garden of a duke.

Staff: Before the duke passed, he donated the garden, and after renovation, St. Nove Flower Garden was officially opened to the public.

Staff: There are lots of rare flowers planted in the garden. I’m sure it’ll be a feast for your eyes.

MC: (A romantic flower garden theme… hm, I’ll definitely be able to take lots of beautiful pictures!)

Angel Garden

MC: Angel Garden?

Staff: Though Angel Garden is called a garden, it’s actually the largest arboretum in Forenlo City.

Staff: The most well-known within the park is the tulip sea and the flower tree waterfall attractions within the arboretum area.

Staff: Right now, it just happens to be tulip blooming season. I’m sure that if you go see it, you’ll definitely be shocked by the gorgeousness of the fresh flowers.

MC: (A tulip sea… it sounds really dreamy…)

MC: Lawyer Zuo, I want to take photos at the Angel Garden!

Zuo Ran: Okay, I’ll look up the route.

INTERROGATION END

--

Staff: Esteemed guests, are there any other things you’d like to ask?

MC: No need, I’ve pretty much got my targets set. Thank you.

Staff: No problem, I am very pleased to be of service for you. Then, I hope you have fun.

 Part 2 – Noblewoman’s Embankment

[Gameplay]

Part 3 – Bridge of Angels

[Gameplay]

 Part 4 – Cari Temple

[Gameplay]

 Part 5 – St. Nove Plaza

[Gameplay]

 Part 6 – The Most Beautiful Scenery

Forenlo Palace Cultural Street

On the last day of the trip, Zuo Ran and I checked out all the popular attractions near Forenlo Palace.

The gorgeous Forenlo Palace, the old-style art corridor, the elegant sculpture park… I recorded each view with my camera lens.

MC: Lawyer Zuo, help me see – which set of photos should I pick?

It may be easy taking pictures, but it’s very hard to pick them. After struggling back and forth on the camera preview screen…

I decided to directly seek external assistance from Zuo Ran to help pick photos that I would be sending to Yao Yu soon.

Zuo Ran: Hm…

Zuo Ran tapped at the camera touchscreen and pointed towards a set of scenic photos of Forenlo Palace taken with a wide-angle lens.

Zuo Ran: The view of these photos gives an open feeling.

MC: Our aesthetics really are similar. I actually really like this set too!

MC: Only…

I personally also liked this set of pictures, but I simultaneously had some concerns.

MC: Lawyer Zuo, do you feel like this photoset isn’t all that different from the ones from before?

Zuo Ran: Why do you say so?

MC: Because when we were touring Rumba City, I’ve taken photos from similar angles… but Yao Yu…

Zuo Ran: You’re worried that after sending this set of scenic photos, your friend will still be dissatisfied?

MC: Mhmm…

Zuo Ran: I feel like you don’t have to worry too much. What your friend wants is “the most beautiful scenery that you experience during your trip”.

Zuo Ran: If you see this group to be the most beautiful sceneries, then it is the most beautiful.

MC: (My experience?)

I unconsciously flapped my hand beside my cheeks, trying to calm down and think.

Zuo Ran: MC, let’s find a place to sit and relax.

Zuo Ran: If you can’t decide right now, you might as well let yourself relax. Perhaps you’ll have new ideas later.

MC: Mhmm, sure.

Zuo Ran was right. Struggling the whole time was not a good method. I might as well do something else first and enjoy the vacation.

--

We found a long bench on the roadside and sat down to rest.

The cool, gentle wind increased the feeling of contentment slightly as it delivered a sweet scent into my nose.

Following the sweet scent, I saw an ice cream truck on the other side of the road, with “Only Hand-made Ice Cream for a Hundred Years” written on its billboard.

MC: Ice cream that’s been handmade for a hundred years? What would that taste like?

Zuo Ran: Want to taste it?

MC: Yes!

That billboard really did catch my interest, making me want to see exactly what ice cream with a hundred years of handmaking history would taste like.

Zuo Ran: You can stay seated, I’ll go buy it.

After speaking, Zuo Ran got up and stepped over the road, walking towards that ice cream truck.

I watched Zuo Ran from far away…

Watching him interact politely with the truck booth owner, watching him take the cone, watching him heading back with an ice cream cone in each hand.

The retro-style camel-coloured windbreaker on Zuo Ran’s body cut straight lines, clean and neat, adding a few more touches of outstanding handsomeness to him.

MC: (This piece of clothing really makes Lawyer Zuo look handsome. Weird… how come I didn’t notice a few days ago?)

While I faced him in a trance, Zuo Ran had already walked up to me…

The retro buildings on the two sides of the road served as a background for him, reflecting a peaceful moment.

That was a landscape painting, frozen before me.

MC: (What your friend wants is “the most beautiful scenery that you experience during your trip”.)

Thinking back on what Zuo Ran had said, something murky in my mind became clear, with a distinct silhouette.

I held up my camera and waved at him.

MC: Zuo Ran, look here!

Zuo Ran: Hm?

Through the camera lens, his line of sight collided with mine, the faint smile on his thin lips frozen in this moment.

Zuo Ran: Why did you… suddenly…

MC: Because this shot is excellent. I’ve decided – I’m sending this photo to Yao Yu!

I held up the camera with both hands for him to see. He glanced at the photo, then looked at me.

Zuo Ran: You…

MC: What each person sees and thinks is different. I feel like a happy me should be courageously shown for others to see.

The “most beautiful” was a matter of individual opinion. The sceneries seen by each person are different, so what they see as beautiful will be different.

So, the answer is very obvious.

What Yao Yu wanted was my appreciation in the trip, and what I got during this trip was the bit of happiness with Zuo Ran.

MC: I think the most beautiful scenery…

MC: Is you.

Zuo Ran smiled, looking at me, serious and sincere.

Zuo Ran: In my eyes, you’ve always been that.

His calm voice created ripples in my heart, complicated and surging.

Warmth emerged on my cheeks, and the air right then seemed to become somewhat sweet, intoxicating me…

Zuo Ran: Alright, how about putting away the camera for now – the ice cream is going to melt.

MC: Ah! My ice cream!

I’d only been focusing on taking pictures, and the ice cream Zuo Ran had bought was already starting to melt. A few droplets were dripping down from the softened edges…

I rushed to put away the camera and take the ice cream cone.

MC: Delicious – as expected, a hundred-years’ worth of craftsmanship is superior.

Zuo Ran: It’s very sweet.

Though it was slightly embarrassing to eat the melting ice cream, the rich taste of milkiness brought a wonderful feeling between the lips.

Just like this moment, with the gentleness and warmth flowing between his and my eyes.

That was an indescribable yet true feeling that saturated the depths of the heart.

I was very convinced that that was the most beautiful scenery I had found in this journey…

[taylorswifthongkong]

Aaron Dessner confirms: folklore is Taylor Swift’s goth record. Or, at least, it’s her most gothic record. It’s also a few other things, depending on your mood: an unofficial Big Red MachineDessner and Bon Iver’s Justin Vernon started Big Red Machine in 2008 as a loose musical collaboration. They released their official self-titled debut LP in 2018, and this year released “No Time For Love Like Now” with Michael Stipe. collaboration (Big RED Machine); a spiritual companion to The National’s 2019 album I Am Easy To Find, specifically its accompanying Mike Mills film, also shot in black-and-white and emphasizing a more natural setting; or just Swift’s attempt at a headphone record, one that, even if you don’t buy into the Taylor Swift mythology, rewards multiple listens as you pick up on all the intricacies of each song and realize wow, this is where the In Rainbows influence comes in. Dessner is the one to thank for all these little details.

The National multi-instrumentalist spoke to Vulture over the phone from upstate New York a few hours after the surprise release of Swift’s eighth studio album. (“A pretty wild ride,” he admits, sounding tired yet happy.) He was clear that he can’t speak on behalf of Swift’s lyrics, much like he can’t for The National frontman Matt Berninger’s either, or the thinking behind Jack Antonoff’s songs. (Here’s a cheat sheet: Jack’s songs soar, Aaron’s glide.) But Dessner was game to speak to his specific contributions, influences, and own interpretations of each song on folklore, a record you can sum up by two words that came up often during our conversation: nostalgic and wry.

“the 1″

“the 1” and “hoax,” the first song and the last song, were the last songs we did. The album was sort of finished before that. We thought it was complete, but Taylor then went back into the folder of ideasMany of Dessner’s songs started from him sending files of sketches from a folder of ideas to Swift, who then replied with updated files of her ideas and additions. Swift also would start some songs by sending voice memos to Dessner, who would then flesh them out or write music to it. Dessner would also send files to his brother, Bryce, and other collaborators to flesh out the music; he sums up the process as “sending files around.” that I had shared. I think in a way, she didn’t realize she was writing for this album or a future something. She wrote “the 1,” and then she wrote “hoax” a couple of hours later and sent them in the middle of the night. When I woke up in the morning, I wrote her before she woke up in LA and said, “These have to be on the record.” She woke up and said, “I agree” [laughs] These are the bookends, you know?

It’s clear that “the 1” is not written from her perspective. It’s written from another friend’s perspective. There’s an emotional wryness and rawness, while also to this kind of wink in her eyes. There’s a little bit of her sense of humor in there, in addition to this kind of sadness that exists both underneath and on the surface. I enjoy that about her writing.

The song [began from] the voice memo she sent me, and then I worked on the music some and we tracked her vocals, and then my brotherOn bringing in fellow The National member, Bryce Dessner: “My brother lives in France and that’s where he and his family were in lockdown. I would send songs to Bryce for him to add orchestration, and then he would send them back. He would compose to them and then I would have people record them over here remotely.” added orchestration. There are a few other little bits, but basically that was one of the very last things we did.

THE MEANING OF FOLKLORE

We didn’t talk about it at first. It was only after writing six or seven songs, basically when I thought my writing was done, when we got on the phone and said, “OK, I think we’re making an album. I have these six other ideas that I love with Jack [Antonoff] that we’ve already done, and I think what we’ve done fits really well with them.” It’s sort of these narratives, these folkloric songs, with characters that interweave and are written from different perspectives. She had a vision, and it was connecting back in some way to the folk tradition, but obviously not entirely sonically. It’s more about the narrative aspect of it.

I think it’s this sort of nostalgia and wistfulness that is in a lot of the songs. A lot of them have this kind of longing for looking back on things that have happened in your life, in your friend’s life, or another loved one’s life, and the kind of storytelling around that. That was clear to her. But then we kept going, and more and more songs happened.

It was a very organic process where [meaning] wasn’t something that we really discussed. It just kind of would happen where she would dive back into the folder and find other things that were inspiring. Or she and William BoweryDessner explains of the one unknown name who pops up in the folklore credits: “William Bowery is who she wrote ‘exile’ with, and ‘betty.’ He’s a singer-songwriter.” would write “exile,” and then that happened. There were different stages of the process.

Okay, but is it A24-core? [Laughs.] Good comparison.

“cardigan’”

That’s the first song we wrote [in early May]. After Taylor asked if I would be interested in writing with her remotelyOn folklore being recorded somewhat on-the-fly: “I prefer records when they have an element where the paint is still wet. We’re allowing some paint to be human and raw, so [collaborations were] not hired out too much. That was important to me, and that was important to her, too. That is definitely different from her past records.” and working on songs, I said, “Are you interested in a certain kind of sound?” She said, “I’m just interested in what you do and what you’re up to. Just send anything, literally anything, it could be the weirdest thing you’ve ever done,” so I sent a folder of stuff I had done that I was really excited about recently. “cardigan” was one of those sketches; it was originally called “Maple.” It was basically exactly what it is on the record, except we added orchestration later that my brother wrote.

I sent [the file] at 9 p.m., and around 2 a.m. or something, there was “cardigan,” fully written. That’s when I realized something crazy was happening. She just dialed directly into the heart of the music and wrote an incredible song and fully conceived of it and then kept going. It harkens back to lessons learned, or experiences in your youth, in a really beautiful way and this sense of longing and sadness, but ultimately, it’s cathartic. I thought it was a perfect match for the music, and how her voice feels. It was kind of a guide. It had these lower register parts, and I think we both realized that this was a bit of a lightning rod for a lot of the rest of the record.

THE NATIONAL’S INFLUENCE ON SWIFT:

She said that she’s a fan of the emotion that’s conveyed in our music. She doesn’t often get to work with music that is so raw and emotional, or melodic and emotional, at the same time. When I sent her the folder, that was one of the main feelings. She said, “What the fuck? How do you just have that?” [laughs] I was humbled and honored because she just said, “It’s a gift, and I want to write to all of this.” She didn’t write to all of it, but a lot of it, and relatively quickly.

She is a fan of the band, and she’s a fan of Big Red Machine. She’s well aware of the sentiment of it and what I do, but she didn’t ask for a certain kind of thing. I know that the film [I Am Easy To Find] has really affected her, and she’s very much in love with that film and the record. Maybe it’s subconsciously been an influence.

“the last great american dynasty”

I wrote that after we’d been working for a while. It was an attempt to write something attractive, more uptempo and kind of pushing. I also was interested in this almost In Rainbows-style latticework of electric guitars. They come in and sort of pull you along, kind of reminiscent of Big Red Machine. It was very much in this sound world that I’ve been playing around with, and she immediately clicked with that. Initially I was imagining these dreamlike distant electric guitars and electronics but with an element of folk. There’s a lot going on in that sense. I sent it before I went on a run, and when I got back from the run, that song was thereJust how fast of a songwriter is Taylor? Dessner marvels, “It’s almost like a song would come out like a lightning bolt. It’s exhilarating. The shared focus, the clarity of her ideas, and the way she structures things, it’s all there. But I think she works really hard when she’s working, and then she tweaks. She keeps going, so sometimes things would evolve or change. By the time she actually sings it, she’s really inside of it. She doesn’t do very many vocal takes before she nails it.” [laughs].

She told me the story behind it, which sort of recounts the narrative of Rebekah Harkness, whom people actually called Betty. She was married to the heir of Standard Oil fortune, married into the Harkness family, and they bought this house in Rhode Island up on a cliff. It’s kind of the story of this woman and the outrageous parties she threw. She was infamous for not fitting in, entirely, in society; that story, at the end, becomes personal. Eventually, Taylor bought that house. I think that is symptomatic of folklore, this type of narrative song. We didn’t do very much to that either.

“exile” (ft. Bon Iver)

Taylor and William Bowery, the singer-songwriter, wrote that song initially together and sent it to me as a sort of a rough demo where Taylor was singing both the male and female parts. It’s supposed to be a dialogue between two lovers. I interpreted that and built the song, played the piano, and built around that template. We recorded Taylor’s vocals with her singing her parts but also the male parts.

We talked a lot about who she thought would be perfect to sing, and we kept coming back to Justin [Vernon]. Obviously, he’s a dear friend of mine and collaboratorSo, is folklore secretly a new Big Red Machine album? Dessner coyly offers, “I mean, you might not be far off the truth there, but I think I won’t say more.”. I said, “Well, if he’s inspired by the song, he’ll do it, and if not, he won’t.” I sent it to him and said, “No pressure at all, literally no pressure, but how do you feel about this?” He said, “Wow.” He wrote some parts into it also, and we went back and forth a little bit, but it felt like an incredibly natural and safe collaboration between friends. It didn’t feel like getting a guest star or whatever. It was just like, well, we’re working on something, and obviously he’s crazy talented, but it just felt right. I think they both put so much raw emotion into it. It’s like a surface bubbling. It’s believable, you know? You believe that they’re having this intense dialogue.

With other people I had to be secretive, but with Justin, because he was going to sing, I actually did send him a version of the song with her vocals and told him what I was up to. He was like, “Whoa! Awesome!” But he’s been involved in so many big collaborative things that he wasn’t interested in it from that point of view. It’s more because he loved the song and he thought he could do something with it that would add something.

“my tears ricochet”

This is one of my absolute favorite songs on the record. I think it’s a brilliant composition, and Taylor’s words, the way her voice sounds and how this song feels, are, to me, one of the critical pieces. It’s lodged in my brain. That’s also very important to Taylor and Jack. It’s like a beacon for this record.

“mirrorball”

“mirrorball” is, to me, a hazy sort of beautiful. It almost reminds me of ‘90s-era Cardigans, or something like Mazzy Star. It has this kind of glow and haze. It feels really good before “seven,” which becomes very wistful and nostalgic. There are just such iconic images in the lyrics [“Spinning in my highest heels”], which aren’t coming to me at the moment because my brain is not working [laughs].

HOW JACK ANTONOFF’S FOLKORE SONGS DIFFER FROM DESSNER’S

I think we have different styles, and we weren’t making them together or in the same room. We both could probably come closer together in a sense that weirdly works. It’s like an archipelago, and each song is an island, but it’s all related. Taylor obviously binds it all together. And I think Jack, if he was working with orchestrations, there’s an emotional quality to his songs that’s clearly in the same world as mine.

We actually didn’t have a moodboard for the album at all. I don’t think that way. I don’t really know if she does either. I don’t think Jack … well, Jack might, but when I say the Cardigans or Mazzy Star, those aren’t Jack’s words about “mirrorball,” it’s just what calls to mind for me. Mainly she talked about emotion and to lean into it, the nostalgia and wistfulness, and the kind of raw, meditative emotion that I often kind of inhabit that I think felt very much where her heart was. We didn’t shy away from that.

“seven”

This is the second song we wrote. It’s kind of looking back at childhood and those childhood feelings, recounting memories and memorializing them. It’s this beautiful folk song. It has one of the most important lines on the record: “And just like a folk song, our love will be passed on.” That’s what this album is doing. It’s passing down. It’s memorializing love, childhood, and memories. It’s a folkloric way of processing.

“august”

This is maybe the closest thing to a pop song. It gets loud. It has this shimmering summer haze to it. It’s kind of like coming out of “seven” where you have this image of her in the swing and she’s seven years old, and then in “august” I think it feels like fast-forwarding to now. That’s an interesting contrast. I think it’s just a breezy, sort of intoxicating feeling.

“this is me trying”

“this is me trying,” to me, relates to the entire album. Maybe I’m reading into it too much from my own perspective, but [I think of] the whole album as an exercise and working through these stories, whether personal or old through someone else’s perspective. It’s connecting a lot of things. But I love the feeling in it and the production that Jack did. It has this lazy swagger.

“illicit affairs”

This feels like one of the real folk songs on the record, a sharp-witted narrative folk song. It just shows her versatility and her power as a songwriter, the sharpness of her writing. It’s a great song.

“invisible string”

That was another one where it was music that I’d been playing for a couple of months and sort of humming along to her. It felt like one of the songs that pulls you along. Just playing it on one guitar, it has this emotional locomotion in it, a meditative finger-picking pattern that I really gravitate to. It’s played on this rubber bridge that my friend put on [the guitar] and it deadens the strings so that it sounds old. The core of it sounds like a folk song.

It’s also kind of a sneaky pop song, because of the beat that comes in. She knew that there was something coming because she said, “You know, I love this and I’m hearing something already.” And then she said, “This will change the story,” this beautiful and direct kind of recounting of a relationship in its origin.

“mad woman”

That might be the most scathing song on folklore. It has a darkness that I think is cathartic, sort of witch-hunting and gaslighting and maybe bullying. Sometimes you become the person people try to pin you into a corner to be, which is not really fair. But again, don’t quote me on that [laughs], I just have my own interpretation. It’s one of the biggest releases on the album to me. It has this very sharp tone to it, but sort of in gothic folklore. It’s this record’s goth song.

“epiphany”

For “epiphany,” she did have this idea of a beautiful drone, or a very cinematic sort of widescreen song, where it’s not a lot of accents but more like a sea to bathe in. A stillness, in a sense. I first made this crazy drone which starts the song, and it’s there the whole time. It’s lots of different instruments played and then slowed down and reversed. It created this giant stack of harmony, which is so giant that it was kind of hard to manage, sonically, but it was very beautiful to get lost in. And then I played the piano to it, and it almost felt classical or something, those suspended chords.

I think she just heard it, and instantly, this song came to her, which is really an important one. It’s partially the story of her grandfather, who was a soldier, and partially then a story about a nurse in modern times. I don’t know if this is how she did it, but to me, it’s like a nurse, doctor, or medical professional, where med school doesn’t fully prepare you for seeing someone pass away or just the difficult emotional things that you’ll encounter in your job. In the past, heroes were just soldiers. Now they’re also medical professionals. To me, that’s the underlying mission of the song. There are some things that you see that are hard to talk about. You can’t talk about it. You just bear witness to them. But there’s something else incredibly soothing and comforting about this song. To me, it’s this Icelandic kind of feel, almost classical. My brother did really beautiful orchestration of it.

“betty”

This one Taylor and William wrote, and then both Jack and I worked on it. We all kind of passed it around. This is the one where Taylor wanted a reference. She wanted it to have an early Bob Dylan, sort of a Freewheelin’ Bob DylanBob Dylan’s second LP, released in 1963, features some of his most stripped-down acoustic folk songs, with plenty of harmonica. To this day, its lyrics still cause debate. The album’s famous cover, shot in New York on Jones St., is one block away from Cornelia Street. feel. We pushed it a little more towards John Wesley Harding, since it has some drums. It’s this epic narrative folk song where it tells us a long story and connects back to “cardigan.” It starts to connect dots and I think it’s a beautifully written folk song.

Is ‘betty” queer canon?

I can’t speak to what it’s about. I have my own ideas. I also know where Taylor’s heart is, and I think that’s great anytime a song takes on greater meaning for anyone.

Is William Bowery secretly Joe Alwyn?

I don’t know. We’re close, but she won’t tell me that. I think it’s actually someone else, but it’s good to have some mysteries.

“peace”

I wrote this, and Justin provided the pulse. We trade ideas all the time and he made a folder, and there was a pulse in there that I wrote these basslines to. In the other parts of the composition, I did it to Justin’s pulse. Taylor heard this sketch and she wrote the song. It reminds me of Joni Mitchell, in a way — there’s this really powerful and emotional love song, even the impressionistic, almost jazz-like bridge, and she weaves it perfectly together. This is one of my favorites, for sure. But the truth is that the music, that way of playing with harmonized basslines, is something that probably comes a little bit from me being inspired by how Justin does that sometimes. There’s probably a connection there. We didn’t talk too much about it [laughs].

“hoax”

This is a big departure. I think she said to me, “Don’t try to give it any other space other than what feels natural to you.” If you leave me in a room with a piano, I might play something like this. I take a lot of comfort in this. I think I imagined her playing this and singing it. After writing all these songs, this one felt the most emotional and, in a way, the rawest. It is one of my favorites. There’s sadness, but it’s a kind of hopeful sadness. It’s a recognition that you take on the burden of your partners, your loved ones, and their ups and downs. That’s both “peace” and “hoax” to me. That’s part of how I feel about those songs because I think that’s life. There’s a reality, the gravity or an understanding of the human condition.

DOES TAYLOR EXPLAIN HER LYRICS?

She would always talk about it. The narrative is essential, and kind of what it’s all about. We’d always talk about that upfront and saying that would guide me with the music. But again, she is operating at many levels where there are connections between all of these songs, or many of them are interrelated in the characters that reappear. There are threads. I think that sometimes she would point it out entirely, but I would start to see these patterns. It’s cool when you see someone’s mind working.

“the lakes”

That’s a Jack song. It’s a beautiful kind of garden, or like you’re lost in a beautiful garden. There’s a kind of Greek poetry to it. Tragic poetry, I guess.

source

[chanagun]

Soft Hearts Electric Souls

Fandom: Why R U the Series Pairing: Saifah/Zon

Summary:

The first time Zon ended up in the cramped tattoo parlor, it was because of his friends' oh-so-clever dare to get something pierced. The rest of his visits definitely didn’t have anything to do with the (handsome) piercing artist.

AO3 

——

Saifah actually heard the group before seeing them. 

Day was on desk duty for the hour, so Saifah had been upstairs, going back and forth between chairs and doing his best to crack jokes and distract the clients as Tutor and Hwahwa created artwork on their skin. 

Tutor had a regular client, adding another chunk to his growing sleeve and Hwahwa worked on a walk-in, her classic script stretching across the client’s collarbone. Saifah loved watching his friends in their element. 

Which was disrupted, as mentioned, by the sound of the chime on the door followed by what sounded like fifteen dudes all laughing and talking over each other. Saifah frowned slightly before excusing himself from Tutor’s booth to help Day with the assumed influx of customers. 

Their shop was an odd set up, being in a row of other squeezed-together buildings in a busy college town. Patrons were greeted immediately in the waiting room with pieces of tattered furniture they haven’t had the heart to replace and the reception desk against the stairs. The piercing station was a back office they gutted and converted. They didn't have a second floor as much as they had a loft that they macgyvered into the sterile tattoo booths, so everything was quite open; it wasn’t ideal but it was theirs. They put a lot of work into it and it was definitely a source of pride. 

The openness of their shop also helped with gaging the customers from afar.

To his surprise, as he walked down the wooden stairs, he found that the bold entrance noise came from only five men. All of them looked up expectantly at him as he heard Day explain that Saifah was their piercer while pointing up at him. 

Four of the guys looked at him with shit-eating grins and one looked at him with absolute terror. Saifah knew how he looked outwardly; he had a dozen holes in his ears and a few in his face and he had tattoos peeking out from everywhere his shirt didn’t quite reach. His favorite, a painted bat with wings outstretched ( Kerivoula picta , Tutor would remind him after spending diligent hours on it) decorated his neck with a shocking burst of color and a sharp snarl at anyone shorter than him. Saifah watched the one man visibly gulp when he finally joined Day at the counter and he couldn’t help the half smile form on his lips.

“Good evening, gentlemen,” Saifah started, “I heard my services were needed?” The one man was not looking him in the eye, but instead directly at his throat. Saifah couldn’t tell for sure, but it seemed like he was shaking in his metaphorical boots. 

One of his friends slapped his shoulder, making him jump a mile, before saying “Our Zon here would like to get his ears pierced!” 

“Oi, Junior-“ the guy, Zon, snapped as he elbowed his friend in the gut. 

“Yeah, he looks super excited to do that,” Saifah replied easily.

“I am!” Zon quipped adamantly.

Saifah knew he was being a prick, but couldn’t help it as he raised an eyebrow and let out an unimpressed chuckle. “Sure. Anyone else getting stabbed today?” He asked the rest of the guys in the same cocky tone and received negative murmurs in response. “Righto, come on back Mr. Zon and I’ll set everything up.” To which he received a tight nod from Zon and stifled laughter from the rest. 

Saifah motioned Zon to follow him to his station but paused when the whole hoard of men started coming too. “Ah, the love fest is really cute but the room is not that big, guys,” Saifah explained.

“I can come by myself,” Zon said, and sent a sharp glare at each of his friends, “they just want to see me suffer anyway.” Saifah let out a chuckle, and continued to the back, now only being followed by one. Saifah motioned to the cushioned stool in the middle of the room and Zon sat obediently. 

“First things first Mr. Zon, we have to get some paperwork done,” Saifah explained, grabbing one of the clipboards, “and I hope you have your ID on you or else this’ll be pretty embarrassing.” 

“Of course I have my ID,” Zon huffed in response before pulling out his wallet. Saifah let Zon hold it up to his face as he recorded his necessary details on the paper.

“Alright, so you gotta read all these bullet points and initial each line on the left here,” Saifah told him, turning the clipboard around and handing him the pen, “let me know if you have any questions, but I’m going to get the station ready.” 

“This is a lot more … official than I thought,” Zon mumbed, making Saifah pause.

“It is surprising to some people that we are a legitimate business,” Saifah replied even though Hwahwa’s voice nagged in this head about not being so sarcastic with customers. Saifah risked a glance at the guy.

He was frowning, sitting the paperwork with his initials before saying, “That’s not what I meant, I just didn’t actually know what to expect.” He held out the clipboard to hand back to Saifah. 

He took it, but kept a strong gaze on Zon. “Why are you here, dude? You don’t seem well-informed, nor excited to be getting this done.” 

Zon cleared his throat and shifted uncomfortably in his seat. “My friends dared me. I don’t want to seem weak or anything,” he explained in a huff. 

Saifah considered his words. He placed the clipboard back down and pulled up his own stool to sit right in front of Zon. The action seemed to unsettle Zon more, but that didn’t deter Saifah. “Are you sure you actually want to? Listen, the basis of this business is all ‘fight the man, rebell, mod your bod’ and everything but it’s about living for yourself, too. You think my parents wanted me to open a tattoo shop with my hooligan friends?” Zon laughed lightly at his statement, “I can scare your friends off if you really don’t want this, man. I’ve heard I’m intimidating.” 

Zon cocked his head to the side, a smile still faint on his lips. “Nah, you’re just tall,” he joked, “Clearly you’re a softie or else you would have just stabbed me and taken my money.” Saifah snorted at that. “And I… I still want the piercings. Not for my friends’ benefit, I’ve just actually wanted to get them for a while. Needles aren’t really my favorite thing but they look cool.”

“I bet I’m the coolest person you’ve ever seen then, huh?” Saifah asked, wiggling his eyebrows, which just made Zon roll his eyes. “So, studs or rings?” 

“What do you suggest?” 

Saifah hummed, “Studs. Rings are cool but it’s harder to heal when you’re pierced with rings. Also, in my opinion, captive beads suck.” 

“Studs it is then,” Zon replied. 

Saifah flashed a smile before turning back to his counter. He could feel that Zon was more at ease so he popped on some gloves and disinfected his tray. He collected his sterile supplies before turning back around. “I’m going to mark your ears and you can tell me if you like the placement.” Zon just nodded. 

The rest of the process came easily to Saifah, my muscle memory taking over. Zon gasped during the first but only winced for the second. 

“Already done! You did great.”

“Thanks,” Zon replied, smiling into the hand mirror. 

“You can head back up to the front desk and Day can ring you up. Pleasure doing business with you, Zon,” Saifah told him as he worked to clean his station up again. He couldn’t help but watch him go.

.

.

Zon took a deep breath. He could do this. He did it before and he could do it again. 

He stood outside the tattoo parlor, under the dark green awning to escape the blazing sun, pumping himself up to go inside. With no friends forcing him, it was taking longer than it should. 

He knew what to expect this time, and that was making it even harder than before. Not piercing pain wise, but tall, handsome piercer wise. That wasn’t why he was going back, obviously. He just kind of really dug his earrings and the piercer, Saifah, had had a really cool piercing in his eyebrow and Zon couldn’t seem to get it out of his head. 

He wanted to at least ask Saifah what he thought about getting one himself. His feet just weren’t cooperating. 

Zon jumped out of his train of thought when his phone chimed in his pocket. He let out a breath, glad to be out of his head when he pulled up the text. Zol had sent him a message asking him what he wanted for dinner, since she was going out shopping with their mom. He smiled typing out his reply and finally felt back in the right mindset to go inside.

He wasn’t expecting to see an upside-down Saifah laying (incorrectly) on the couch, strumming apparently absentmindedly on an acoustic guitar. 

“Um, hello?” 

Saifah glances towards the door, squinting his eyes at Zon. “Ah!” He exclaimed before placing the guitar next to him on the couch. “Welcome back.” Zon raised an eyebrow in surprise, not expecting the piercer to remember him at all. “Is everything healing okay?”

“Oh, um, yeah,” he replied, his hand instinctively going to his neck, just below his ear (where he’d learned to stop himself from touching and irritating his piercings). “I was actually wondering if I could get, like, a consultation for another.” 

Saifah raised his brow (Zon assumed, it was hard to tell from upside down) in surprise before somehow gracefully flipping over to stand (Zon pointedly tried not to look when his shirt rode up and- are those nipple piercings ?) and greeted Zon for real. “What were you thinking?”

Zon, who was definitely not flustered, swallowed hard and met his gaze, “I really like your…” he said, pointing at his own eyebrow.

“Ah,”Saifah smiled, “an eyebrow piercing. It was one of my first ones,” he reached a hand out towards Zon’s face but stopped short, “Do you mind if I?” Zon shook his head no, letting Saifah continue his movement. His fingers were gentle against Zon’s face, just lightly touching the skin above his brow, before giving him a little pinch. 

“Hey!” 

“Sorry! Just seeing if you can deal with the pain,” he explained.

“I wasn’t ready! And you know I don’t care if it hurts,” Zon huffed in response, making Saifah grin again. 

“Okay, okay,” he said with his hands up in surrender, “if you’re interested, I think you have the perfect browline for a horizontal instead of a vertical. I’ll knock some off the price if you let me do that instead,” he finished, punctuated with another toothy smile.

Zon bit his lip before answering, “Can you show me what that would look like?” 

Saifah nodded excitedly before leading Zon to the front desk and pulling both stools up to the laptop. They spent ten minutes, shoulder to shoulder, sitting at the desk, Saifah pulling up different images for Zon to consider. Within two minutes Zon had decided he loved it, but he couldn’t stop himself from watching Saifah excitedly find new ones to show him. 

“What do you think?” 

Zon looked up, met with Saifah’s bright eyes, and he couldn’t help smile. “Yeah, dude it looks sick. I’m down for it.” 

Saifah smiles so brightly in response, his eyes almost closed. And Zon could feel his heart in his throat, thinking cute , how was this man covered in tattoos and piercings ( including nipple piercings his mind supplied) so cute ?

Zon quickly found himself back on the same cushioned stool in the back room as his first visit, going through paperwork with Saifah. He felt more at ease the second time around. 

Like Saifah could read his mind, he stated, “you seem much more chill this time. Is it because you know what to expect or because your friends aren’t here this time?” he asked, voice light, presumably so Zon knew he was mostly joking around.

“A mix of both I guess. My friends are great, but… sometimes they’re not,” he chuckled. 

“I think that’s true for most friends,” Saifah agreed, “mine have been on lunch break for like two hours at this point,” he said while glancing at his wrist. His tone wasn’t unfriendly, rather it seemed fond. “Tutor has the day off, since he and his boyfriend work at the foodbank on Thursdays, but Hwahwa and Day, the other artists, think they’re so slick.”

Zon furrowed his brow, “you’re the only one here?” 

Saifah nodded, “they didn’t have any appointments scheduled until the evening so I’m sure they thought their sneaky secret date would go unnoticed. But I’ve got a keen eye.”

Zon chuckled at that, “the most keen eye if they thought you wouldn’t notice being left alone in the shop.”

“Oh, he’s cracking jokes! Careful, try and remember who is stabbing who today, my Zon.” Saifah teased. 

A sudden wave of heat hit Zon- from his neck to the tips of his ears. He scrambled, trying to  come up with a retort to hide his fluster, but Saifah took it in stride, turning to sanitize his station. He hummed a familiar tune that Zon couldn’t exactly place, but he was kind of mesmerized. Saifah was gentle and yet so diligent with his work.He’d done a bit more research for this visit and he read plenty of horror stories online about dirty shops and artists that didn’t care, so he was glad his friends just happened to stumble upon Saifah’s shop. 

“Ready?” Saifah asked, tone low, and genuine , Zon noted. 

He nodded, a lazy smile finding its place on his face. Saifah returned the grin and took the clean marker with a gloved hand. Zon relaxed at the familiar steps and let Saifah do what he clearly knew how to do best. 

Needless to say, it hurt quite a bit more than his ears.

“Tears are normal, you know,” Saifah reassured as he handed Zon a tissue,  “It’s close to your eye, so it’s a natural reaction. Just in case you were still worried about seeming weak or something, don’t be,” he clarified. “On a completely unrelated note, I cried like a baby when I got the tattoo on my neck,” he pointed at the (frankly terrifying) bat on his throat, “and when I got the one on my hip. And the one that wraps around my foot, oh my god-”

“Okay, okay,” Zon said, laughing lightly despite the well of tears in his eyes. He sniffed, “Thank you.” He wanted to say more; more about his kindness, more about toxic masculinity, more about anything but Saifah handed him the hand mirror then. “Wow.”

“Wow as in what a great job it looks fantastic or wow as in this is terrible and I’m going to slash your tires as soon as I’m out of here?”

“Has that happened?”

“Of course not! I’m very talented.” Zon laughed, still admiring the work. “Wow as in I didn’t think it would make me look this… hot?”

His sentiment seemed to tickle Saifah, causing him to let out a laugh too. “I can confirm, you definitely look hot.”

Zon coughed, seemingly choking on nothing before hurriedly asking, “so how much do I owe you?”

.

.

“We should start some sort of punch card system.” Saifah peeked up from his guitar, ready to shoot Tutor a skeptical look, but he continued, “I think your guy with the ‘eyebrows for days’ would appreciate it, since he’s back. Again.”

“What?”

Tutor didn’t answer, just smiled his devilish grin as the door chimed and a person came into the shop. Saifah whipped his attention to the door, cracking his neck in the process.

Zon let out a snort, “don’t hurt yourself, geez,” he joked. The midday sun glinted off the still somewhat fresh barbell in his eyebrow and Saifah could faint.  

“Welcome!” Tutor called from the desk, “how can we help you today?”

“Oh, um,” he faltered, eyes shifting from Tutor to Saifah, back to Tutor, “I wanted to get a piercing.”

“Ah, so Saifah and I are both certified for piercings-”

“Tutor, I can take care of him,” Saifah said, straining. Evil. His best friend was evil. Saifah quickly led Zon to the counter, glad to see that smile return to his face. “Didn’t Hwahwa say she may need some help with her back piece client?” 

“Oh how could I forget!” Tutor overdramatically replied before rushing to the base of the stairs, “and please consider those punch cards, dude!” he called as he took two steps at a time. 

“Is he… usually like that?”

“Unfortunately,” Saifah replied, immediately followed by a burst of laughter from Hwahwa and Tutor upstairs. He grimaced.

“Anyway! How are you?” Zon asked with a curious smile and (that goddamn) eyebrow quirked. 

“I’ve been pretty good,” Saifah started, “I was beginning to wonder if my favorite customer was ever going to show back up again, so I was slightly down in the dumps for a bit.” “Oh? So you do get regulars,” he paused, seemingly considering this, “Did they come around?” Saifah nodded excitedly, making Zon’s smile even brighter, “That’s great! What did they get done?”

“I don’t know. What were you looking to get done today?”

Saifah was met with the biggest eye roll he’s ever seen, so he laughed. “Seriously, what are you interested in?”

“Ah, I was actually going to see what you thought would look good,” he answered quickly, looking down at the counter. Saifah raised an eyebrow but he couldn’t help it. He also pointedly ignored the snickering from the top of the stairs.

“Wait, so you didn’t have anything in mind? You wanted to know… what I think would look good?”

“I find it hard to believe no one has ever asked for your professional opinion before, dude,” Zon said, tips of his ears turning pink. 

“I… I mean-“

“Anyway, I did do research, I know that dermals aren’t for me, but otherwise I wanted your expertise,” Zon babbled, as Saifah still didn't quite know what to say, “I’ve just really liked how I’ve looked recently and I like how I’ve been more confident and I think you have a bit to do with that, so ,” he took a breath, “what do you think?”

Saifah must have been gaping. He didn’t hear anything from upstairs either; he wasn’t sure what that meant. Zon still wasn’t looking at him. He closed his dumb mouth and cleared his throat. 

“Well, I guess, in my expert opinion,” he started, “I think… you had that confidence in you somewhere already. I just poked some holes in your already very nice looking face.” Saifah caught the edge of Zon’s smile, still mostly hidden from his view. “As for a recommendation, I’d say anything but a lip ring.”

“Oh?” Zon let his gaze drift back up, “why is that?”

“You can’t kiss anyone while it heals,” Saifah answered with a toothy grin. Zon responded by weakly punching him in the arm. 

“Do you always hit on your clients like this?”

“No, just my favorite one. I’m hoping it’ll make him stick around.”

“Tell him about the punch cards!” was yelled from the top of the stairs.

 Saifah ended up giving Zon a helix piercing somewhere in between chasing Tutor out of the building, buying Zon lunch, and a few kisses (sans lip ring).

[wormbook22]

Hello world... again

Hellooo,

Thank you for finding me! \(^o^)/

This blog is mostly to promote my favorite arts & music, plus some stuffs about audio production (technical or not).

I used to have another blog on the same topics under the same name. However, due to some issues with Tumblr support (nothing illegal I swear o.O), I now need to create another one.

What you’ll find here:

Reviews of mostly non-mainstream musicians and their works (albums, singles, soundtracks, lives, operas etc.)

My journey of sound exploration, including discussion of music genres, recording techniques, instrument design etc.

(Sometimes) Other stuffs: books, art films, anime, paintings, comics, manga, sculptors, 3D rendering etc.

MINIMAL shitposting. I may post #random things and #announcement from time to time. The truly irrelevant stuffs are marked with #please ignore. Just block them.

I aim to churn out contents once every week for short posts (starting Aug this year), but more in-depth stuffs may take months, as I’m rather busy irl.

Now, here are some house rules before I start with the juicy posts:

1. Non-mainstream music?

That’s over-generalizing a bit, but I like weird stuffs from different genres all over the world. If it’s done right to me, it doesn’t matter if it’s jazz, pop, house, avant-garde, classical, hip-hop, soundtrack stuffs or whatever in-between. A few examples (not in any order): Kajiura Yuki, Ennio Morricone, Billie Eilish, Sergei Rachmaninoff, Björk, Agust D, Ulrich Drechsler, Hanoi Duo.

With that said, I’m quite biased with a mix of powerful female vocals, stuffs in minor keys & lots of evolving counter melodies. Sure, each of those do typically appear in mainstream music, but I tend to prefer more eclectic combinations of them. I’m sure I’ll unconsciously cover more people like that.

You’ll likely discover lots of weird people here. Do follow official channels of those who interest you! :D

2. Sound exploration...?

Well, after having too much time for introspection during Covid-19, I’m thinking of switching career to something along the line of foley artist or sound engineer. No idea what I want yet, so I’m exploring possible professions. Since this is a music-related blog, I just want to share my journey, haha.

Posts about this will have a separate hashtag so those not interested can ignore them. Topics will range from modding instruments, sound-making & recording paraphernalia, music theory, music history etc.

3. Weeb? NO. Maybe nerd at most.

In case someone spotted me mentioning “anime” and “manga” and thought “what if...”, no, I’m not into waifus, bishounen cults, or the other stuffs (you know what I mean)... Do not expect such contents here, though you can freely fangirl/fanboy about your favorite stuffs in the comment section (but keep it toxic-free plz) (^o^)/

I love many anime & manga series just as much as I enjoy Pan’s Labyrinth or NatGeo documentaries. I casually join fandoms, but I’m not hardcore and by no means an expert in anything. So do correct me if I get some facts wrong!

4. NO political stuffs, conspiracy theories, fan wars etc.

More like, I’ll keep potentially toxic stuffs to the minimum. I’ll still discuss them objectively if they’re relevant to the topic at hand. E.g. how a group’s disbandment may affect a musician’s solo career etc.

With all the crap happening in the world, we could do with a bit more positivity. And cooler heads. So I will NOT rant extensively about such things. And I WILL report such posts if I ever see them here.

I don’t care if you shitpost elsewhere. I do too. But please just spare this place...

Also, yes, it’s important to be aware of certain social issues.

However, I believe such things should be discussed with well-sourced information, clear illustrations and non-malicious intents. Not angry people throwing their opinions on the table, and sometimes throwing the table themselves. And more importantly, MUCH MORE IMPORTANTLY, social issues must be solved by consistently educating oneself and taking actions OFFLINE.

If you still wanna do that here, please please please switch to DM. I do want to have discussions with you.

Finally, I naturally stand at a respectful distance to my fav musicians.

I do get hyped and have expectations ahead of releases. But I’m not the type to directly message my favorite musicians, or queue up for hours to get their autographs. I also don’t collect merchandise or limited-edition items. I don’t go on “pilgrimages”. Just listening to their music, promoting them and supporting them financially (through streaming, buying releases, attending lives) is good enough for me. I don’t encourage this kind of behavior actually. Without avid fans, lots of musicians would starve... But this is just how I am. Plus, there’re just too many musicians I like. If I were too hardcore, I wouldn’t have time & resources to support them all xD

I’m interested in what they can share about their personal lives, but I don’t want to dig deeply into things that may disturb them. Unless they did something unlawful (not just morally questionable) that went unnoticed or unresolved (like smoking weed where it’s banned and not getting caught).

I love to discuss what make them spark as well as their flaws, casually but objectively. But I’m only human so biases is unavoidable. I always want to anticipate their next works or breakthroughs, if any, as long as their interest in making decent music is still there.

Liking their music doesn’t mean I need to like them as people. And certainly not love them romantically.

I sometimes need to compare some aspects of them (e.g. musical inspiration, background, how they’ve changed following financial success or failure etc.) But I’ll avoid that as much as possible, especially when it comes to music groups. A group is more than just its members.

All questions & gossip regarding opinions of fanbases should go to my inbox, and not anonymously (cuz I can’t reply you otherwise). I wanna keep this space clean, so I want to avoid fan wars & jumping to conclusions. Pretty sure it will happen eventually anyway, one way or another...

Wew, that sure is a lot of text *sweats*. Hope I’ve made it clear to you and myself what this blog will be like.

Please anticipate my next post around 2 months from now.

Thanks for reading. m(_ _)m

[lifeofyellowpearl]

Yellow Pearl Reminisces Pt. 1

I remember when I first saw Pink Diamond. It was during a galactic summit, the very first summit that Pink Diamond would be attending. It was also the first time that anyone would be introducing her. I was tasked with carrying out her introduction along with Blue Diamond’s Pearl, 1XK. K and I were in our designated antechamber, awaiting our cue to introduce the diamonds. We had just finished rehearsing Pink’s introduction for the twelfth time – at my behest. Perhaps it was overkill, but I wanted to be sure that we got it just right. It felt right, it sounded right, and yet, for some reason, I couldn’t shake the feeling that it wasn’t good enough. I was pacing back and forth almost obsessively mulling over it, trying to figure what it was that we could be doing wrong – or to be more accurate, what I could be doing wrong.

“Would it help if we went over it again?” I stopped and turned to K who was standing by the warp pad.

“Maybe…I don’t know.” I slumped to the floor and hugged my knees, “No, I don’t suppose it would.” K walked up and sat down next to me. “It’s just, I really want this to be perfect.”

K placed a hand on my shoulder, “I know. I get it.” I was grateful to hear her say that. K seems to be the only pearl who really does get me. Most other pearls would have screamed at me after the third rehearsal, but K was willing to indulge me.

“Thank you,” I said. I could never express how grateful I am to have her as a friend. “Anyway, I’m sure it’s fine. I guess I’m concerned because I know how important this is to My Diamond. I know that she cares about Pink Diamond a great deal and I know that she’d want her first introduction to be flawless.”

“I know what you mean,” said K, “Blue Diamond raves about Pink almost nonstop. She’s very excited for Pink to be attending her very first summit. I’m sure Yellow Diamond would be glad to see you putting in so much effort.”

I shifted uncomfortably, I’ve always been weird about compliments. “It’s nothing special, really. I’m just doing my due diligence as My Diamond’s pearl. But…thanks.”

A familiar tone sounded off over the intercom and the lights began to flicker, signaling that we were about to be called out. K and I stood on the warp pad and got into position. In a flash, we were off.

We were teleported to the auditorium. It was pitch-black save for two spotlights; the bright yellow one that was on me and the blue one that was on 1XK who was there next to me.

First, I said my part with my usual flair, “All rise for the luminous Yellow Diamond...!”

And K said hers with her typical air of differential reserve, “The illustrious Blue Diamond…”

Then, as we rehearsed, we gestured behind ourselves and finished in unison, “And the brilliant Pink Diamond!”

In a flash of light, the three diamonds appeared on the warp pad behind us, each striking a regal pose. Right in between our diamonds was Pink Diamond. I knew that she was smaller than the other diamonds but I was still caught off guard by her stature. She was almost as short as me! As the diamonds made their way to their thrones, I noticed Pink looking up at Blue with anticipation. Blue, noticing Pink, smiled and gave her a subtle nod of approval. Pink Diamond beamed and gaily strode to her throne, right between My Diamond and Blue. I looked at her quizzically. This gem, I thought, is she really a diamond? I almost slapped myself for questioning the legitimacy of a diamond’s position.

Once K and I made our way to our respective podiums, we got a full view of the auditorium. It was a magnificent piece of architecture. The auditorium was massive. It seated over 300 and each seat was filled. The walls were lined with decorative pillars that were adorned with glowing glyphs. The ceiling boasted a mural that was painted into four quadrants. The quadrant directly over us contained the image of White Diamond. Her arms were spread out as she stood among several planets and stars, as though she were exerting her dominion over the entire galaxy. The left quadrant contained the image of My Diamond and the right of Blue Diamond. The two diamonds shared a similar stance, each standing with one arm extended as ships and colonies literally poured from their fingertips. To the casual observer, this appeared to be a testament to the might of the diamonds and the work they do to establish new colonies and expand the empire.  However, if one looked closely, one could see that the whole mural was a testament to no one other than White Diamond. In reality, My Diamond and Blue Diamond were gesturing towards White. The ships and colonies that were emanating from their fingertips were pouring into White’s quadrant, adding to the collection of celestial bodies that already surrounded her. This detail was not lost on My Diamond, who would often look up at the mural with contempt. The last quadrant was blank, this was reserved for Pink Diamond. I noticed Pink staring up at the mural with a look of longing determination, her eyes fixed on the quadrant that would soon be hers.

The audience was comprised of jadeites, all of whom were saluting the diamonds. Once the diamonds were seated, they were seated too. These jadeites serve as the viceroys that preside over the galactic sectors. Each sector can contain as few as twenty colonies or as many as two hundred. Needless to say, these galactic summits are a big deal.

The meeting went on. As always, K was sketching the whole thing while I recorded the minutes. Pink would periodically fidget in her seat and Blue would need to signal her to settle down. Not exactly conduct becoming of a diamond, I thought to myself. No! what are you doing?? You shouldn’t think that way about a diamond, you stupid clod!  As I struggled to dampen any disrespectful thoughts I had, a jadeite stood and saluted the diamonds proper, “My Diamonds, Jadeite Facet 3H8U Cabochon 106, Viceroy of sector H8. If I may, I would like to discuss the…issue that I brought up six decimal months earlier.”

My Diamond narrowed her eyes at the Jadeite, “Ah yes, I remember you mentioning something about possible cases of underreporting. I also remember you citing that as a potential reason for a two percent decrease in productivity, essentially deflecting blame to your inferiors.”

106 timidified ever so slightly as she sensed My Diamond’s ire, “It’s not that I’m deflecting blame per se,” the viceroy stammered, “It’s just that current data suggests that gems in my sector may not be reporting certain issues to me as often as they should. I want to fix any and all problems that go on but if I’m not made aware of the things that happen – “

“Enough,” My Diamond interrupted, “Do you honestly expect me to believe that elite gems all throughout H8 have been intentionally covering up the infractions of their inferiors? To what end?”

“Well obviously it’s because they’re afraid.” a voice called out. Everyone turned to Pink Diamond, who, up until now, had been silent throughout the meeting.

“Pink Diamond, please,” My Diamond said, “You’re only here to observe.”

“Hold on Yellow,” said Blue Diamond, clearly proud of Pink for wanting to participate, “Let’s hear what she has to say.” My Diamond began to protest but then rolled her eyes and silently acquiesced. Blue then turned to Pink and motioned towards the audience, “Go ahead Pink.” Pink smiled at Blue and leaped out of her seat.  

Pink stood with arms akimbo and her chest puffed out. In an almost histrionic display, Pink pointed at 106, “You there,” Pink was trying hard to sound authoritative, but she just came off sounding stagy. It was all I could do to keep myself from laughing. Don’t laugh, you stupid worthless idiot! That’s a diamond for heaven’s sake!

“You mentioned that gems in your sector have been hiding things from you?” Pink continued, “Well you’re right, they have! And it’s not just your sector either. It’s going on in hers and hers and hers. Well, pretty much everyone’s.” Silence. Everyone was stunned at what this diamond had just said. Pink didn’t realize it, but she had dropped a bombshell; one that placed the jadeites in a very uncomfortable position.  One by one, the jadeites turned to 106. In a sense, 106 had just been vindicated by Pink but now someone needed to follow up. Someone needed to question Pink Diamond and 106 was making it perfectly clear that she would not be that someone.

After a few more seconds, another jadeite stood and saluted “My Diamond, Jadeite Facet 3T9Y Cabochon 54, Viceroy of sector T9 and sub viceroy of sector T8.” You could hear the reluctance in 54’s voice. She really did not want to be the one to question the word of diamond, “With all due respect, My Wonderful, Amazing, Illustrious Diamond, how do you know this?”

Pink Diamond, still oblivious to the tone of the room, proudly stated, “I’ve spoken to gems in your sectors and that’s basically what they told me.” More silence. And again, someone was tasked with questioning this diamond’s judgment. 54 turned to the jadeite to her right and audibly cleared her throat. The annoyed jadeite turned to 54 and shot her a glare.

Though disinclined, the jadeite stood, shot one more glare in 54’s direction and saluted, “My Diamond…Jadeite facet 7T8U Cabochon 75, Viceroy of sector T8.” 75 paused and muttered something under her breath. I wasn’t certain, but it sounded like something along the lines of ‘Goddamn you 54.’ “Not that I’m questioning your initiative, my brilliant diamond, it’s just that…I’m not sure if we were made aware of any surveys that you were conducting in our sectors.”

“I most certainly wasn’t made aware.” My Diamond said. The elder diamonds were both visibly concerned at what Pink was saying.

“Well I didn’t conduct any official survey,” Pink replied, “I just sorta asked.” Again, there was silence but this time it was more of confusion as no one was quite sure what Pink Diamond meant.  

“Oh, my stars.” Blue Diamond said, “Do you mean were fraternizing?”

“Oh yeah! I guess I was fraternizing.” The jadeites were all struggling to mask their true feelings at this point, as was I. I tried as hard as I could to push down any critical thoughts that I may have had towards this diamond, but I just couldn’t and I hated myself for that.

I was expecting My Diamond to say something, but she was so dumbstruck that she couldn’t even find the words.

Blue Diamond placed a hand over her face, “Oh Pink…”

Pink Diamond, ever oblivious, continued, “You know, I’m actually really glad you brought this up, 106.” And 106 really wished that hadn’t. “This is something that I’ve been thinking about for a while now. So many gems are afraid to talk to us and that’s a real problem. So, I propose that…”

“Enough!” My Diamond exclaimed.

“What? Why? What’s wrong?”

“‘What’s wrong?’ What do you mean ‘What’s wrong?’” My Diamond was preparing to lambast Pink until Blue quietly reminded her of the onlooking jadeites. My Diamond pinched the bridge of her nose and exhaled, “Pink, take your seat, we will talk about this later.”

“Seriously?? But I…”

“I said. Take. Your. Seat.” Pink stood in defiance, staring My Diamond down. One could tell that Pink was getting ready to talk back.

“Pink…” Pink turned to Blue. The sound of Blue’s voice alone seemed to be enough to simmer her down. “Please…” Pink let out a frustrated sigh and with bowed head went back to her throne and proceeded to pout.

K and I exchanged a look of confused amusement. We couldn’t help but chuckle at this diamond. And I couldn’t help but despise myself for doing so.

[everythingcollided]

Petrichor [Peter Parker]

(credit to owner)

Summary: Peter shows up, soaked from the rain, to explain something said in the heat of the moment. 

Word Count: 3064

Warnings: Swearing, Checkered boxers 

A/N: Here’s another imagine no one asked for. If any of you want to maybe read one you did ask for, hit up that request box ;).

“I’m not giving up Spider-Man for you!”

Peter’s eyes were bright fire, burning embers packed into two powerful orbs that sent me flinching back. Hands clenched into fists at his side and distance from me long in a way that made my stomach curl, he spoke softer, “If you can’t accept it...then go.”

A sound comes from my parted lips. A gasp of surprise or a whimper, it’s one that resembles the crack that appears against my heart. His words are a slap - no, they’re a blow to my side with a sword - and no amount of clearing my throat gets the lump dislodged from it. My eyes burned and in seconds I knew hot tears would tumble from them. I didn’t want him to see them, have the satisfaction of knowing he hurt me, so I gave up my fight. I’ve never been good at reciprocating fire, especially when it came to those I loved. Peter fell into the deepest part of that category.

Without a word, I grabbed my bag and left. The flood came the second the elevator doors shielded me from his floor.

For my seventh birthday, my mom got me a fish.

A beautiful betta fish a shade of indigo I’d never seen before, named Shimmer by my young mind. For months I’d kept her alive on my own, talking through the glass bowl lit up on my nightstand for hours after I returned home from school. Shimmer was my first friend, my best friend and though she never talked back, I loved her.

I cried for weeks after she died.

My parents thought there was something wrong with me, asking around their friend circles to see if any of their children broke after a pet died. I learned that I grew attached to things quickly, especially after I named a boy my best friend for picking up a yellow crayon of mine. And later, when that boy moved away, I found that when I lost those I was attached to, it was painful.

Leaving that apartment physically hurt me. Days have passed one after another, I’ve never been thankful that Christmas break has begun - and that’s saying something. I sit around in Peter’s Midtown School of Science and Technology sweatshirt and wish that we could be spending our time away from school together. Plans of binge watching the Star Wars movies morphed into stuffing my face with ice cream and playing How to Lose a Guy in 10 Days on a loop until I’ve run out of tears to cry.

I haven’t yet.  

I don’t know if we’ve broken up or are on some kind of break but I feel like I’ve lost Shimmer all over again. My chest is tight with a pressure that only fits the definition of ache and my head has been pounding since I pulled into the parking garage of my apartment complex.

“Just go.”

I wipe at my cheek with a dark blue sleeve pulled over my fingertips and unload another spoonful of cookie dough ice cream into my mouth. My attachment to it does nothing to soothe my garbage mood. Rain splashes against the windows in harsh strokes, the battering of it on the fire escape outside the glass creating a symphony of soft clangs that soothe my bones. I curl in on myself, finding no shame in inhaling the scent engraved in the threads of Peter’s sweatshirt. A sweet smell, subdued by something I’ve never been able to place. I allow my lashes to flutter and shield my eyes from the poignant scene that’s been drawing away all my happy energy and replacing it with something worse.

A powerful knock at the door draws me from the haze of content I’d constructed.

Groan slipping past my lips without sanction, I burrow further into my arms and convince myself that I just imagined the sound. The aroma of Peter brings the image of him to the black of my eyelids and comfort flows in waves as I watch the colors splash against each other, painting a picture of a boy laughing, blushing.

Another knock.

I grumble, giving a soft punch to the cushion beside me before teetering to my feet and padding over to the door. I’m ready to curse at the person who disturbed my semblance of peace, even if that semblance included the reason it was crushed in the first place. I look through the peephole to ensure myself I’m not about to get stabbed and leave a gruesome scene for my Mom to come home to post-business trip.

My breath hitches at the sight and my fingers grab for the locks before I even fully comprehend the face on the other side, click clicking until he’s standing right there, right in front of me. Ears filling with the beats of my heart and palms beginning to grow moist, the anger rises in my throat. I open my mouth to scream, to yell, to hit him, when I fully realize what he’s wearing.

Peter is soaked from head to toe, thin navy jacket shining minorly with the appearance of water and hair stuck to his forehead like glue. His entire figure shakes and though his hands are stuffed into the pocket of his jeans, I know it isn’t helping when I notice the growing stain on the blue carpet decorating the hallway. His face is pale and his dark eyes are fixed only on me, the bags bordering below highlighting the rich color of them.

All that anger melts away. “Good God, Peter it’s freezing outside what were you thinking? Hurry up you’re soaking the carpet. Do you need a towel? Of course you need a towel, I’ll go get one for you, maybe some clothes too if I can find them. We don’t need you getting sick. Be right back.” I’m halfway down the hall that leads to the bathroom when I catch up with myself. I stop in my tracks, notice the adrenaline thrumming through my veins, the blood occupying the entirety of my face.

“Shit.”

Stupid Peter Parker. Stupid Rowan. Stupid, stupid, stupid. I should be leaving him out there shivering and miserable, or throwing books at him, or anything other than aiding him.  “You are such an idiot,” I mutter to myself as I grip a towel, “You literally have no self-defense mechanism, what is wrong with you.”

I berate myself with no successful result as I clamber throughout my room in search of Peter’s sweater - the first one I’d ever stolen from him. It’s buried far back in my closet on a pristine plastic hanger that I almost break in my haste to get this boy out of here before I fall apart, managing to trip twice on my run back to the main room.

I throw the two articles at him, and I know the burst of exercise I completed isn’t the only reason why my breaths are heavy.  “Put that on, I’m going to make you some hot chocolate, you’re shivering.”

“Rowan-“

I send him a glare, both in payback of what he’s made me go through the past few days and a refusal to whatever argument he’s going to make. I resent the way my heart drops when his features turn sad, and he begins to tousle his hair in the provided towel as a gesture of surrender. I can’t help but watch him for a moment while he moves, caught off guard by how much my body is urging me to reach out to him.

He’s shaking, and it’s not until I clench my fist that I realize I am too.  

My stare is diverted quickly when he begins to lift his head and I practically dive into the kitchen.

I make the scorching drink with mechanical actions since it’s been engraved into my mind how he likes his hot chocolate since I gave it to him that first day. It gives me a larger window to think.

I have no idea why he’s here.

Is he trying to break my heart some more? To dump me officially? The thought brings an uncomfortable twisting to my stomach and I have to put down the warming mug because my hands have begun to shake. I tug at my sleeves and run fingers through my wild hair to get it to stop, to no avail. My surroundings are growing blurry due to the tears burning at my eyes and my throat is closing up and I can’t breathe. I’ve never felt like this before, probably because Peter’s different than anything I’ve ever lost. Things like Shimmer and that boy I never had to see again, but the subject this time around is sitting in my living room, doing just fine without me.

And I’m in here crumbling.

I sprinkle the last crumbles of cinnamon onto the previously deposited whip cream and take precious gulps of air. Come on, Rowan, you can do it. It’s just a stupid boy. A stupid, adorable boy that you love. No big deal. Nope nope.

I step back into the living room.

Big deal.

Big deal.

Peter’s head snaps toward the small patter of my feet on the hardwood and I think my lungs compact in on themselves in record time. Messy hair beginning to gain its natural curl as it dries and eyes that look like the honey stored in some kitchen cabinet makes me freeze up. The towel I’d given to him is wrapped around his shoulders clad in the dry sweater.

But his pants are not there.

He is not wearing pants.

“Shit, I didn’t get you pants.” My cheeks burn, eyes traveling up to the red checkered fabric before I can stop them. I bite at my lips, cringing at my idiocy and trying really hard to keep my focus on Peter’s face as I tread over and hand him the hot chocolate.

He chuckles. “Don’t worry about it, it’s not anything you haven’t seen before.” A sound erupts from his throat directly after his words and blood has time to fully rush to my face before he can stutter out the next string, “Shit, I mean...like w-with the Spider-Man s-suit and...yeah. That’s what I meant, sorry.”

His adorable struggle to find the words would be humorous if the mention of his alter-ego didn’t stab into my heart. It’s obvious that he notices my sudden change in mood because the room abruptly turns quiet. “It’s fine.” I mutter, picking at the balls of lint collecting on the edge of my sleeve. From the corner of my eye I watch his fingers grip the bright yellow mug, tapping in a sloppy rhythm I’m too anxious to keep track of.

“Why are you here, Peter?”

He must have been expecting the question, his answer is immediate. “I, uh, wanted to explain.”

“I thought you made it pretty clear,” I’m facing away from him so he can’t see the pain I know hides in my expression. “It’s fine, really, if you don’t...you know, want to be with me anymore.”

It’s not fine, my heart whispers, you love him and you're giving him up.

I hate what’s happening, but if Peter wants it I’m not going to force him to do something that doesn’t make him happy.  All I want is for him to be happy.

I’m finding it hard to inhale as I wait for an answer. The only thing I can hear is the pattern of breaths that leave him and it’s driving me crazy. My knee jumps up and down, pumping the hope for a happy ending into my veins.

I flinch harshly when warmth envelops my hand. It’s Peter, skin retaining heat from the mug I’d just handed him. He intertwines our fingers against my knee and I don’t stop him. I’m one snap away from bursting into tears; my nerves are frayed and my breaths feel ragged and I don’t have the strength to push him away.

“Rowan,” He starts softly. Seconds pass and he sighs in what sounds like frustration, taking a loud sip of hot chocolate and placing it on the coffee table. Those dark eyes meet mine, wide and darting to different parts of my face, flecked with gold. “I meant what I said. I won’t ever give up Spider-Man for you, but I pushed you away instead of explaining. That’s why I’m here.”

He begins to trace around my fingers, it feels like summer is traveling along my nerves. I give him a squeeze to indicate that I want more information. “Spider-Man is everything I’ve wanted to be since I was little. When I put on that suit, I feel like I can do anything. And...that anything includes protecting you, protecting Aunt May, protecting Ned. What if I did give him up and one of you got hurt? Or worse?

The anguish of his words alone is enough to snap the string packing my emotions up tight. A drop slips down my cheek and Peter’s thumb is there flicking it away before it can get too far.

“I’m really scared of losing you, Rowan. And maybe I don’t face that threat a lot doing what I do in Queens, but what about when Mr. Stark needs me again? When not just this city but the whole world’s in danger? I can’t risk not being there to protect you.”

I feel like such a selfish bitch.

How could I parade around begging Peter to give up something that was priceless to him? I was demanding that he take away part of himself for me and broke down because he refused. I’ve been sitting around moping as a result of my own stupidity. “Peter,” I start helplessly but he cuts me off.

“Wait, before you say anything, let me finish.” He briefly lifts his hand to run it through his hair desperately, and he looks frantic. “I can’t give up Spider-Man for you because that would mean that I’m not being the best boyfriend I could be. I’d hate myself forever if I let something happen to you because I was vulnerable. I love you, Rowan. A lot. So, if it’s between you and Spider-Man, I’ll always choose Spider-Man because a you that hates me is better than no you at all.”

Peter releases his heated hold on me and reaches for his cooled hot chocolate, slurping loudly on the contents and diverting my attention away from the self-loathing enclosing on my form. His exposed toes are hitting the floor in a soft pattern, sweater cuff pulled to the fingertips of his left hand and air dried curls beginning to drape over his forehead. He’s unaware of the fact that he looks like the embodiment of a Sunday morning.

I allow myself to dive into that fantasy for a few minutes. Sharing an apartment, cooking breakfast together, getting a dog like we’ve both wanted our entire lives, weekends together, weekdays together.

Why would I ever want to give that up?

And in what universe would I ever hate him?

Peter peers at me from over his cup. “So, um...do you still want to be...together?” Hesitance coats his voice, eyes heavy with vulnerability that tugs on my heartstrings.

That thing he does where he cares about others more than himself even when things are their fault is going to get him killed one day. Once in eighth grade, he’d pushed down his bully, only to help him up right after. He ended up in my house half an hour later with a bag of frozen peas held up to his swollen face.

All the pain I’d gone through after I left his apartment is my fault. I asked him to stop being Spider-Man, and I was the one who didn’t even think to demand an explanation. I’d just left him there, alone.

God, that must have hurt him too.

I skim over the darkness beneath his lashes and the fear twisting his mouth into an attempted smile, guilt coiling around my lungs. I press the pads of my fingers against his tense jaw and let out a breath when it relaxes under my touch.

“I’m sorry.”

Peter shakes his head gently, as to not lose contact with me. “For what?”

I trace the the line of his face until I reach his chin. His eyes close momentarily; I’d forgotten how much Peter loved any reminder that someone cared for him. He was like a puppy. And I’d kicked him. “For hurting you.”

“Rowan,” he says, free hand clutching to mine and bringing it to his cheek, “You didn’t answer my question.”

I hum in response - I’ve gotten caught up in the eyes that must match the shade of the sodden ground outside, in the park we’ve played in since we’d first became best friends, where he’d asked me out.  “Yes.”

His lips stretch wide with the smile I’ve fallen in love with in the happy moments. “Then you didn’t hurt me.”

“But-”

The kiss he places in my palm runs the thoughts out of my skull. “Maybe you should stop overthinking this time around,” he murmurs, placing his mug back onto the table and holding out his arms, “And just...come here.”

I don’t even hesitate to crawl over to him, draping my knees across his lap and burying myself into his chest. He smells like rain and Peter, a combination that works for him and blurs my mind. We’re a mess of unruly hair and rapid heartbeats and Peter dipping his head into my neck because he knows I’m ticklish and it’ll bring a giggle out of me. I want to save the moment forever, hopeful for the future, relishing in a new beginning.

“I missed you.” It’s a whisper against my shoulder, content.

I fumble with his minor curls, unable to resist the tugging at my lips. Sunlight casts itself across the hardwood floors as the rain stops and the clouds part. The shine reflects against the fat drops of water sitting on the leaves of the flowers planted in the windowsill and highlights the strands of Peter’s hair so that it’s quickly a pile of rusted gold in my grip.

We sit there, unmoving in a puddle of yellow, and I couldn’t ask for a better day.

“I missed you too.”

[shark-myths]

Folie A Deux

I promised to write FAD meta like, forever ago. It took longer than I planned. Here it is, at last.

Folie is anthemic, artistic; it’s cynicism and heartbreak all layered up in failing hope. It’s Pete saying goodbye to his band and embarking on a new life as a husband and a father. It’s Patrick finding his confidence as a showman just in time for it to turn to ash on his tongue and prompt him to remake himself utterly. It’s Joe finally feeling like he has a role in FOB and creative ownership of his own band. It’s Andy, um, drumming. Super well. Without any particular emotional interpretation on my part because Andy’s, you know, pretty content to just play with his friends.

Without further blathering, allow me to present, at long last: a rambling, tear-filled, official Tryst Theory ™ interpretation of FOB’s fourth-and-almost-final studio album.

I am always struck most by the quality of obstruction in the albums produced during the Commercial Success/’Sell Out’ era. Pete begins obscuring himself for the first time during Infinity on High and especially Folie A Deux: the lyrics become increasingly senseless, more about cleverness and sound that saying things plainly. But he’s so honest during this era too. He tells us exactly what it feels like to be him, to be so pulled apart and scrutinized and sad, to be sick on his own hope. To be sick and fuzzy, made of stuffing, and far away on way-too-many anxiety meds. We get lines that don’t make much sense on the surface, like ‘I’m not a chance, put a heat wave in your pants,’ and we get the self-aware aggression of bops like I Don’t Care.

In the previous era, Pete didn’t really know what it meant, yet—being Pete Wentz. Being so public. Being the face of the band, being the bad guy and the heel. What it would cost. Now he understands that anything he touches, or looks at, or says at loud is going to change. Once he does it, says it, thinks it, feels it, it’s out of his control. It’s owned by someone else. Even his private body, his private phone. Even his decision to defend his friend from an aggressive bouncer onstage. The brand of phone he carries, the girls he texts, who he stands next to in photos, the cities where he plays shows and the cities he does not. Now he understands that his life is not his, but something the public will use to hurt him if we get bored. This is drugstore cowboy Pete. This is a Pete grown so heavy under the weight of his own misery and bullshit that he can barely go on. This is a Pete preparing to say goodbye.

Which is a long way of saying: Folie A Deux fucks me up.

 A little history (sourced heavily from Wikipedia):

The album was recorded from July-September 2008, beginning two months after Pete and Ashlee were married, and released in December 2008, shortly after Bronx was born. They started recording ahead of schedule, without telling the label, and deliberately limited their studio time. They wanted to recapture what they had felt during Grave, when they were racing against their drained back accounts to get the album set down. They wanted that simplicity and rawness, the feeling of being mixed-up kids half living out of a van and making music that felt vibrant and essential. Patrick told AP, “There was something really interesting about that creative process when we were starting out. The more time you have, the more potential you have for excess.” (He thought he dominated Infinity and wanted to pare himself back, reign himself in, for Folir.) They tried to emulate the process and feeling of Grave as much as possible: “first-thought, best-thought.” Joe pushed to be included more in collaboration and felt like he “owned the songs a lot more. It made me really excited about contributing to Fall Out Boy and made me find my role in the band.” Pete made an effort (this is him making an effort, okay) to keep his personal life more sequestered from the writing and use more metaphor and the conceit characters speaking lines, more like a stage musical. And, perhaps true to the feeling of Grave, Pete and Patrick fought painfully and violently over the record. It was personal and artistic for everyone. They felt it was their best work.

Fans tore them apart, of course. Booing anytime they played anything off the new record. The album undersold and public reception did not match the glowing critical reviews. They tried to say something important, to talk about society and convey real messages in their music. They were publicly rebuffed. Joe told Rolling Stone, “Some of us were miserable on stage. Others were just drunk.” The reception, the struggle, cemented what Pete had already decided to do: leave the band.

(Let’s not talk about the last song of what he thought would be their last show ever during which, instead of playing Saturday with his best friends and his me-and-Pat, he had the man who named the band in the first place shave off his signature Pete Wentz hair in a symbolic ritual of fucking morning, let’s not let’s not)

(but in case you want to)

 A little cover art:

I just want you to know that Pete Wentz has the original painting of that cover in his home. IN CASE YOU THINK THAT’S RELEVANT.

This image. With Pete’s furry history. With the costumes and feeling like a zoo animal and playing the role of the heel, with the way he said in the Folie Making Of video that being perceived in media is “like wearing a costume, you’re not who you are.” With his interest especially in bears, the talk of stitches and stuffing and seams, with the Lullabye track and ‘honey is for bees silly bear’ (and Black Cards’ ‘you’re my best friend, honeycomb head’) and the whole Winnie the Pooh vibe. With the devoted companionship and singular love exhibited by Winnie the Pooh and the way he turns back into inert, lifeless stuffing when you grow too old and you forget what he really is and see him as just a toy, empty and pliable, and the way only childhood wonder and innocence can return him to life. How the cover has not just one person on it, but a bear-boy plus one: a madness shared by two. A real bear, and someone who’s just pretending, or just trying to be. What a match, what a catch.

WHAT A PETERICK MASTERPIECE THIS FUCKING ALBUM IS

The liner notes are empty, by the way. For the physical CD. The liner notes are just pictures and names of band members, then production information and thanks to ‘fans, friends, and loves.’ Nothing else. No lyrics. No record. If that’s not foreshadowing—

 And now said masterpiece itself:

1. Disloyal Order of the Water Buffaloes

Okay, so let’s take a step back and imagine for a second the decision-making process that went into writing a magnum fucking opus Peterick anthem to open the album with. Are we all on the same page here? WHAT THE FUCK, were they TRYING to kill me

This album is the fucking Holy Grail of the drug use = Patrick metaphor, and we dive right into it with this one. Boycott love. Detox just to retox. DRAW YOUR OWN HOLD ME TIGHT OR DON’T PARALLELS. #trysttheory

For all that Pete tried to move away from autobiographical lyrics on this album, his view of himself is plain in this song: ‘perfect boys with their perfect lives, no one wants to hear you sing about tragedy.’

The line ‘fell out of bed, butterfly bandage, but don’t worry’ brings up my theories about what dreams mean. Falling out of bed and getting hurt is a clear consequence of dreaming so hard you forgot it was just a dream (or trysting with your best friend and forgetting there could be consequences, real people you can hurt and yourself included). ‘You’ll never remember, your head is far too blurry’ ties into w.a.m.s as well as Cooperstown and the idea of being blurry-headed, impaired because you’re fucked up on love or some other drug, and making choices you’d regret, if you could remember them. Making mistakes you’ll have to live with whether you remember them or not.

(Romantically speaking, water buffaloes are disloyal: Google suggests a single male water buffalo can sire as many as 100 baby buffs in a single mating season. It seems pretty obvious throughout this album that issues of infidelity were large in Pete’s mind while writing these lyrics.)

2. I Don’t Care

This song makes me think of Wilson (Expensive Mistakes) so much. Starting over again in Mexico, friends who don’t care about you, the blues-pop bounce to it and repeating riff? Sonically, they have a lot in common.

Pete may be playing on his previous reference to Closer (‘he tastes like you only sweeter’) with the opening line here—‘say my name and his in the same breath, I dare you to say they taste the same’—which is the saddest and most painful movie about heterosexuals you will ever watch, but writing that line and putting it on Patrick’s tongue? That may be the gayest thing that happens to me all night, guys, and I’m a queer girl with a bottle of wine and a long, long Friday evening ahead of me.

This song is so much a conversation Pete is having with the world about his fame and notoriety, imo. He calls it a narcissist’s anthem but I don’t think that’s it, exactly. I think—and the music video backs me up on this—it’s a coy wink at their own reputation, all the shit people are slinging about them and Pete specifically. We get a drug reference here, too: ‘take a chance, let your body get a tolerance.’

Also, Patrick is a nun in the video. Pete put Patrick in a literal fucking habit. What more do you need to me to say to prove definitely that Pete is desperately in love with him? This. Kid. In. A. Nun’s. Habit.

3. She’s My Winona

IF THIS SONG ISN’T A DISCUSSION OF HOW PETE HAD TO REVISE HIS PETERICK AMBITIONS WHEN HE FOUND OUT ASHLEE WAS PREGNANT

(There are so many suicide references in this song I want to join Pete and the band’s manager in cheering and celebrating all over again that our boy lived to 28. You can physically feel him resigning himself to living a long life in these verses.)

‘Hell or glory, I don’t want anything in between.’ I take this line as pretty directly about him and Patrick: he doesn’t care if they go to hell and it ruins the band, he wants to take the risk, because he thinks together they could be—glory. He wants to roll the dice. (Take a chance—I’m not a chance.) And ‘then came a baby boy with long eyelashes, and daddy said “you gotta show the world the thunder.”’ In other words, he wanted hell or glory, ruination or Patrick, but then along came his son. And his priorities changed. Of course they did. True love is one thing; raising your child is another.

‘We had a good run, even I have to admit.’

(And—here’s the thing—people ask me sometimes, what I think about Pete marrying Ashlee. “Do you think he married her just because it was the right thing to do?” No. I think he believed in love and family and forever. I think Pete believed it would work. I think he wanted it to. I think that’s why the trysting, and eventually the band, stopped: because Pete tried his fucking best. I think he loved her and loved the idea of a future for himself—the first time he’s ever really imagined that. The idea of somewhere to belong, a real family, one that he felt part of. I think he wanted more than anything for it to work precisely because it was so different from what he, or anyone else, ever expected for him. He said ‘I want to marry this girl’ and he meant it. He really did intend to love her forever, as best he could, and not love anyone else if he could help it.

But those aren’t good reasons to build a whole relationship on, a marriage on. And he was a mess, and in love with Patrick too, and hated and famous and fucked. He had no privacy, limited emotional maturity, a burgeoning substance problem and no sense of himself that wasn’t dependent on what the culture and the media and his fans and his friends reflected back to him and said was true. There was no way they could be happy together under those circumstances, and he’d have stayed forever anyway, I think. His interviews about that time—when he stopped shaving, then stopped showering; when he was a drugstore cowboy stay-at-home dad, depressed and giving up—he doesn’t blame Ashlee for wanting to leave. He hated himself enough to be miserable forever, but she didn’t. So of course it fell apart.)

4. America’s Suitehearts

This commercial headfuck of a song. Jerry christ, guys, someone throw me an anchor so I can drown myself. This caricature, the monstrosity and performance of celebrity, the way the band is reduced to wrestling alter egos, painted and pretend. No one’s being subtle with this song, this video. They are showing us exactly what they mean.

‘I must confess, I’m in love with my own sins.’

DO YOU MEAN LIKE BEING IN GAY LOVE WITH YOUR BEST FRIEND

DO YOU MEAN THAT SIN?

And this verse, though ostensibly about the vagaries of fame, sounds so much like him falling in love with Patrick while Patrick is oblivious:

‘You can bow and pretend you don’t know you’re a legend. Time just hasn’t told anyone else yet. I’m sorry, I just let my love loose again.’

For so many years, Pete believed his love was something he had to apologize for. 😭 😭 😭 😭

5. Headfirst Slide Into Cooperstown On A Bad Bet

Okay, fuck this, I’m done

This fucking

This

UGH

Remember the paternity rumors at the time of Ashlee’s pregnancy? Look at this whole complicated, tangled-up song about infidelity and paternity and the idea of Ashlee cheating while Pete’s cheating too. ‘Keep a calendar, this way you will always know’ [who impregnated you]. ‘I will never end up like him. behind my back, I already am.’ I literally cannot

‘Does he know the way I worship our love’

6. The (Shipped) Gold Standard

do I even need to keep writing this or is the album now, itself, independently writing the tryst theory

my notes for this song just say ‘come the fuck on’

This song is about: living in LA and missing Chicago (and what it felt like in Chicago, who you were and who you were with); taking accountability for your own actions even when it does not satisfy your hedonistic urges (e.g., marrying your pregnant girlfriend and breaking off your illicit love affair with Patrick Stump), trying to remake your identity and change yourself like those are the same thing and you can get a new heart as easily as a new name; losing your luck and breaking up (‘tell that boy I’ll leave you alone now, like a stove, I’ll turn my love down); horseshoe crabs; and of course, that good ol’ famous-in-the-closet feel:

‘I wanna scream I love you from the top of my lungs, but I’m afraid that someone else will hear me.’

7. Coffee’s For Closers

I’m just crying by now I can’t type anymore

He’s using this whole album to break up with Patrick, to explain, to say goodbye

‘I want everything to change and stay the same. Time doesn’t care about anyone or anything. Come together, come apart.’

‘We will never believe again’

And: ‘kick drum beating in my chest again’ and that feeling, the one we’ve all felt in the pit at any show, any good one with that golden-vibe in the air, the one that makes your heart feel connected to the hearts of everyone around you, like you could be lifted on light and floating around the room, like the love is pouring out of you and rising like heat and linking up to the network of love flowing into and out of everyone else, when you feel it and know they do too and your whole body vibrates with the impossible imperceptible hum of your very atoms, your constituent fucking molecules lit up and stitched together by this, this, this. The feeling like you don’t need lungs because singing in breath and bellows enough, the feeling like the only reason you ever had a heart was so the drummer could pump it with their sticks. ‘Preach electric to the microphone stand,’ Patrick the conductor, Patrick the evangelist, Patrick the gospel of his fucking love. Pete’s saying goodbye to that feeling. Pete knows, he knows already, what he is planning to do.

Pete’s lying. Pete’s saying ‘I love the mayhem more than the love’ like all he’s really been out to do is make a mess, break hearts, take names. Like he is no more and no less than what all the tabloids say about him. (Never watch the Fresh Only Bakery videos on youtube. They are boring, for one, and also the saddest fucking Pete you will ever see.) Pete’s saying ‘I will never believe in anything again’ and he’s making Patrick say it too, because true-blue love was supposed to last forever, and then Pete got married to someone else.

‘Oh, change will come.’

8. What A Catch, Donnie

NO. NO

how the fuck dare this song even exist

So this is it. This is the goodbye. Pete has talked about how he wrote this song from Patrick’s perspective, and he recruited some of Patrick’s favorite artists and friends of the band to sing different lines in a medley of the band’s hits up to this point. This is like, the FOB song equivalent of a suicide note. (To follow this with a greatest hits album—! G O D)

The reference to Roberta Flack and Donny Hathaway—their collaboration, his ultimate suicide, and the way Miss Flack looked on all his destruction and said ‘I still want you back’ is absolutely a testament to the way Patrick, and the rest of the band, forgave him and took him back in after the notorious Best Buy Incident. The gratitude for the whole band and what the band has done for Pete is tied up in this song. ‘You’ll never catch us’ smacks of trysting, and there’s something to the line ‘I’m the one who charmed the one who gave up on you,’ as the speaker in the sentence in meant to be Patrick and the ‘you’ is presumed to be Pete.

‘They say the captain goes down with the ship, so when the world ends, will God go down with it?’ is both Pete’s intention to go down with the band (which he’s planning to sink, or sees unraveling already in the painful writing process—we don’t know at what point he made his decision to destroy yet another thing he loved in penance for some deep, unknowable conviction of sin) and his gesture of setting them free. The Video of Which We Will Not Speak shows this pretty clearly. Pete saves everyone and everything he’s ever loved at the bargain price of drowning himself. He does it without ever even appearing in the aired version of the video. *broken sobbing*

(The links for the full version are not currently on Youtube, but you can read about it here: http://www.mtv.com/news/1618609/fall-out-boy-release-wrong-version-of-what-a-catch-donnie-video/)

What a match, what a catch. If I say anything else about this song, and how basically everyone who heard it knew it meant the band was going to break up, I will absolutely fall apart

9. 27

OH GOOD A SONG I CAN MAKE IT THROUGH WITHOUT CHOKING ON MY OWN TEARS

NOT

So here’s a lovely little ditty about how Pete Wentz did not kill himself and die at age 27 as he always thought he would! Hahahahahaha I’m fine it’s fine I’m so glad this album exists I’m so glad I’m TALKING ABOUT IT

‘If home is where the heart is, then we’re all just fucked.’ All three of them: Pete, Patrick, and Ashlee. And every FOB fan out there. Ahahaha. GUYS I’M NOT OKAY

We’ve got Peterick drug metaphors to rival the punch of Hold Me Tight Or Don’t: ‘I want it so bad, I’d shoot the sunshine into my veins… Doing lines of dust and sweat off of last’s night stage just to feel like you. Milligrams in my head, burning tobacco in my wind, chasing the direction you went.’

We’ve got desperation about growing and changing and losing that which they so valued in their sound and collaboration on Grave: ‘I can’t remember the good old days. Are all the good times getting gone? They come and go and come and go.’

We’ve got the pressure of keeping your love affair with your lead singer a secret lest you risk your fame, label representation, and fortune: ‘My mind is a safe, and if I keep it in we all get rich’ right next to the dirty, hollow feeling of having images of your body stolen and used to drag your name and reputation like you had no more heart than any other empty doll and losing the value of yourself in that process: ‘My body is an orphanage, we take everyone in.’

We’ve got the romantic comparison to cosmic entities, just like in Real Ones: ‘you’re a bottled star, the planets align. You’re just like Mars, you shine in the sky.’ And that tinge of disparagement and lonesomeness: ‘I’ve got a lot of friends who are stars but some are just black holes.’

10. Tiffany Blews

This song plays with a lot of fun moth/flame metaphors that I really enjoy, while also really amplifying the isolation and quick-burning nature of fame. I think that Pete gets a sick satisfaction from having Patrick sing out the worst things he thinks about himself, that he thinks everyone else thinks about him. (Pete, I think, is the little black dress that will be faded soon.)

Interestingly, we have ‘a roman candle heart keeps us far apart,’ which is a pretty direct link to the later Fourth of July. A heart that flares, explodes, and then burns out quickly certainly would be an obstacle to building a lasting relationship, no matter how much you loved someone…

‘Hate me, baby. Maybe I’m a piece of art.’

‘Dear gravity, you held me down in this starless city’ makes me think of the Moonrise Kingdom quote in Wilson (Expensive Mistakes): ‘I hope the roof flies off and we all get sucked into space.’ It’s the opposite, basically. Hoping to fall in love and get thrown up among the glittering cosmos rather than anchored someplace dark and starless. (Aside: I love how susceptible Pete is to grand, cheesy quotes? Like when, a few days after the release of The Last Jedi, he tweeted the heavy-handed noir line ‘I want to put my fist through this whole lousy, beautiful town.’ Like, look for that in a FOB song someday.)

11. w.a.m.s.

For the curious, Andy confirmed on Twitter that the title stands for waitress/actress/model/singer, a reference to the stereotype of people who run away to Hollywood to make it big but end up washing out and struggling as the starving artist/waitstaff type. If this idea of our boys citing bankrupt ambition does not make you emotional, you may not have a heart.

This song is incredibly relevant to the dreams meta linked earlier—‘when all the others were just stirring awake, I’m trying to trick myself to fall asleep again’ is very evocative of being in denial over the jarring reality of the end of the tryst. I think this song is about one of the last times Pete and Patrick slept together before breaking up.

‘My head’s in heaven, my soles are in hell’ again highlights that Pete’s wildest Patrick dreams are very different than where he actually finds himself; ‘let’s meet in the purgatory of my hips and get well’ is a pretty transparent request, isn’t it? Especially since pre-hiatus Pete really loved to use ‘hips’ as a signifier for sexual desire/activity. Let’s just fuck and pretend it’s all okay. Let’s lose ourselves in each other and pretend we can have it. Tell me I’m the only one, even if it’s not true. Let me get high on this memory one last time.

‘Hurry, hurry. You put my head in such a flurry, flurry’ is the urgency and compromised judgment of the tryst. ‘Oh freckle freckle’ can be read as Patrick’s forehead mole. ‘What makes you so special? I’m gonna leave you’ tells us what makes the last time so good: Pete knows it’s the last time. Pete knows he has to end it. But he’s so addicted-sick, ((stray-dog sick,)) he can’t stop. ‘I’m gonna teach you how we’re all alone’ doesn’t really sound like something a newlywed and soon-to-be-dad should be saying, does it? But there it is. How can he let go when he knows ‘how heartwarming it is inside your skin’?

The final nail in my coffin: ‘I’m a sunshine machine. I want to get stuck and be golden in your memory.’

We’ve talked about how Patrick = sunshine = gold, right. r i g h t

12. 20 Dollar Nose Bleed

Fun fact: this song is basically erotica to me ever since I wrote that recording booth smut about it! I can’t even listen to it without blushing and becoming uncomfortable. So there’s something you didn’t need to know about me that you… now know about me.

‘Permanent jet lag, please take me back. I’m stray dog sick, please let me in. The mad key’s tripping, singing vows before we exchange smoke rings.’ It is OBVIOUSLY my prerogative to interpret this as slightly depraved sexual longing, but I especially like the bit about singing vows without ever exchanging anything lasting or visible that implies commitment—this can be heard as a comment on the fickleness of commitment, or it can be heard as a comment about how deeply he is/was committed to Patrick even though they never had anything to show for it. Anything they could show for it. Even to each other.

Benzedrine is, of course, the very first pharmaceutical amphetamine (read about it here!). Many great artists and thinkers were influenced by the impossible energy it gives you, which is obviously relatable to someone who experiences natural mania, peddling his own prescription like a ‘medicine man’ (Wilson lyrics). I think the verse about Benzedrine and not letting the doctor in not-so-obliquely references the issue with medication compliance that Pete experienced and many people diagnosed with Bipolar Disorder also do: the meds for this disorder are really unpleasant. They dull you out, they give you tremors, they have really strong side effects, and they take away that amazing manic spark that so many artists credit with their success. Don’t let the doctor in. They’ll take away the only thing he really likes about being himself.

‘Have you ever wanted to disappear?’ is, I think, a glimpse of the unadorned real.

The spoken word bit at the end of this song really hammers together a lot of the themes of the whole album, the whole band, personal and political both. ‘You said you’re not listening and I said I’m wishing…’, only we don’t ever find out what’s really being said.

13. West Coast Smoker

I love the hell out of this song because there are few things in life that are hotter than Patrick singing the chorus. And fuck. Patrick saying curse words. I die every time. I think this is a kink I share with Pete Wentz. I think one day Pete Wentz and I will share a circle of hell. It will be called the ‘Underage Stump Mouth Rotunda,’ and we will all be very ashamed.

We’ve got a lot of the same themes: the ease of suicide and the conviction to live, the way shows feel and how it was when they were kids, drug use and overmedicated ennui. Pete was once the son, is becoming the father, is resolving not to become the holy ghost.

‘I’m the last of my kind’ and ‘when they made me they broke the mold’ and the finality of it all. (Contrasted with the modern era: ‘you’re the last of a dying breed.’ Pete has grown up and away from his recursive self-obsession, from his own myth. Pete learning to look inside others and stop dismissing himself, and everyone else, as fool’s gold.)

‘Your eyes are blocking my starlight’ to me really speaks to the person who is keeping him from Patrick, or the people—the fans, the Public, with their eyes on his every action.

14. Pavlove

I LOVE THIS SONG

Once again, we have a drug use metaphor: ‘she’s back to the bathroom for one more,’ ‘get addicted to this,’ and of course, the endless seeking for something to make ‘my chest stir/my head blur.’ And: ‘I’m not ready for a handshake with death, I’m just such a happy mess’ shows us, for once, what Pete has to live for—not just that he’s resigned to life, but the reason for it. This song is all tied up with the heady swell of live music and self-medication, and there’s no line more representative of my experience as a bisexual person than ‘I’m the invisible man who can’t stop staring at the mirror.’

‘I want to make you as lonely as me so you can get addicted to this’ seems very directed at Patrick, doesn’t it? Because this is a Pete who needs Patrick too much, thinks Patrick doesn’t need him back, is terrified. Doesn’t know how to solve his problems except to flee them. So: he flees them.

 I MADE IT. I BARELY FUCKING MADE IT BUT I DID.

To sum up: Folie is an incredible, sweeping, beautiful album about the glory of Peterick and the band’s impending end, and it will break your heart. Hit me up with questions and requests, and as always, thank you for reading!

shark-myths out *mic drop*

[cassiecantyousee]

Evacuation Nation

Exactly two weeks ago, I got in my car and drove out of the Florida Keys. It was a bizarre experience, and I’ll probably be processing it for a while, but I wanted to get at least some of my thoughts down before they become too hazy. So this is part diary entry, part reassuring everyone who has spent the last two weeks saying “oh my gosh don’t you live in the Keys are you okay?!?!”

So to start off: yes! I am okay! And I can now check “survived a hurricane” off my bucket list. Now that that’s out of the way, here’s what happened:

I went to bed on Sunday, September 3rd not really giving a second thought to Irma. The storm looked like it was going to head up the east coast, like Matthew had last year. And Matthew had barely affected the Keys at all; I had spent the evening Matthew “hit” painting and hanging out with friends. I assumed Irma would be more of the same. So I went to bed without a care in the world, and calmly drove to work Monday ready to start my week (yes, I worked on Labor Day. I take care of live animals, remember?).

The news that greeted my coworker and me when we booted up the computer that morning was…not great. Turned out Irma had shifted in the night, and was now headed straight for the Keys. It had also grown insanely huge, and was expected to reach Category 5 sooner rather than later. In case you aren’t familiar with the Keys, we’re a bunch of tiny rocky islands and anything higher than a Category 2 can be pretty devastating. That being said, hurricanes usually skirt around the Keys, either heading up the Atlantic coast or looping through the Gulf. We haven’t been hit by a major storm in a long time, but everyone still clearly remembered the damage from Wilma and Andrew. By noon Monday, it was pretty clear we were going to have to evacuate. I called my parents at lunch, reminded them I had a good car with brand new tires, and that I knew lots of people in Florida I could stay with. In the afternoon we started strategizing and prepping all the fish tanks, thinking that we would have another few days at least before we really had to leave. We also spent a lot of time refreshing spaghetti models and sort of laughing hysterically (hysterical laughter became a reoccurring theme throughout this whole process). I drove home at the end of the day, and started half-heartedly sorting through my clothes, telling myself I would really start making decisions on Tuesday.

Tuesday morning, we had a mandatory staff meeting. While I work in Key West, I live near the lab and the most recent models had Irma headed straight for us. And it was now EVEN BIGGER. There were talks of breaking records, and a few hyperbolic rumors of creating a new “Category 6” (these proved to be false, but not as far fetched as we might have hoped!). Priority one was making sure we all had a way to get out of the Keys, and somewhere to go once we reached the mainland. At the risk of getting too sappy, it was really heartwarming to see everyone I work with step right up to support each other. There were offers of rides and food and places to sleep, and before we knew it everyone had a plan. Then we moved into full on hurricane prep mode, and I drove down to Key West.

Probably the most surreal part of the whole thing was Tuesday morning at the Eco Center. I was running around like a chicken with my head cut off, trying to give all the tanks their best possible chance of surviving through the storm. Meanwhile, we were still open, and tourists kept coming in and asking me for things like restaurant recommendations. Cue more hysterical laughter. At noon, we finally officially closed.

I spent the rest of the afternoon prepping the Eco Center and making phone calls and trying not to freak out. My coping mechanism of choice was blasting the new Kesha album (a coping mechanism I 100% recommend, because that album is incredible). My inner monologue went something like: “Where are the D batteries …yes, Mom, there’s gas in my car…I HOPE YOU’RE SOMEWHERE PRAAAAAAAYIN’…should I move the lionfish to the big tank or will it eat everybody…I HOPE YOUR SOUL IS CHAAAAAANGIN’…is that fish acting weird or am I acting weird.” And repeat. For hours. Then, I drove home.

Sorting through my stuff at my house is an experience I never want to repeat. I didn’t want to be paranoid, but reliable sources were forecasting a Category 5 storm headed directly for my house, and my house is ground level. It didn’t look good. So I had to decide what I wanted to load into my car, and what I wanted to leave behind. Most of my clothes quickly dropped in priority, as I realized that I seriously need a wardrobe overhaul. I’ve worked at field stations too long and most of my clothes are free souvenir t-shirts with paint on them. But all my books went straight into the back of my car, as well as some craft supplies and favorite wall art. Some of the books I didn’t even care about that much, but the idea of leaving them to be ravaged by a hurricane was so horrifying to me that I took them all anyway. Once everything was packed, I took a shower, put my betta fish in a gallon jug (really), and got in my car. I took a long look at my little blue house, trying to absorb it and prepare for the worst, but I’m not sure it really sunk in.

As I drove up the Keys I caught myself thinking things like, “Will that house still be there? Will I be able to go to that restaurant again? Will this bridge hold up?” Then I would snap myself out of it for a little while, and tell myself not to be so morbid. I’m a positive, happy person! What was wrong with me? But I didn’t want to miss appreciating the Keys as they were, just in case. It’s a strange line to walk, and I’m not sure I walked it well. So I talked to my parents, listened to music, and tried to think of it as a vacation. But the guilt at leaving all my critters behind was hard. I knew that I had given them the best chance, and that trying to move them would be worse for them than the storm, but I couldn’t help but feel that I abandoned them. Every time I passed any of the various and numerous animal centers in the Keys it was like a punch to the gut.

I spent Tuesday night with some wonderful friends in Boca, where we watched the news and laughed hysterically some more. Then the next morning I headed up to my aunt and uncle’s house in Orlando. By Wednesday afternoon, I was officially evacuated. As of Monday night, I hadn’t even planned on STARTING to evacuate until Thursday morning. Irma got serious real quick.

This is the part of the story where I start feeling guilty for a different reason: I had a really nice time in Orlando. I know a lot of people (most people even) had a very stressful time, and were couch surfing and staying in hotels, but I got an actual bed and got to hang out with family. I spent the week eating really good vegan food, watching documentaries, and reading books. We even went to a play! Then on Sunday morning, Irma hit the Keys.

I had already watched Irma pass over the Turks and Caicos, where I studied abroad, and that was hard enough. There was extensive damage, but thankfully no fatalities. At this point Irma had changed tracks a couple of times, so we weren’t entirely sure how directly the Keys were going to be hit. As it turned out, the eye of the storm passed directly over my house. That experience was surreal. After all the uncertainty, all the hopes, I had to sit on a couch in Orlando and watch one of the biggest storms in history go exactly where I hadn’t wanted it to go. I kept thinking of my little blue house, and how much I loved it, and how much we had all worked fixing it up over the last two years. I got weirdly focused on the fact that I had left my giant bottle of mouthwash in the bathroom cabinet (I just bought it! What a waste!). By Sunday evening, I was a mess. I was tired, stressed, and going a bit stir crazy. And Irma hadn’t even hit Orlando yet.

In the end, that may have worked in my favor. Irma was downgraded to a Category 2 by the time in reached Orlando, and at that point I was sort of done with emotions. I’d spent them all already. I was a little concerned about tornadoes, but honestly? I just wanted to go to bed. So if you were hoping for a vivid personal account of the actual storm, you’re out of luck. I essentially said “Only a Category 2? Whatever.” and passed out (after more hysterical laughter, of course). Seriously, I slept through the whole thing. Apparently a tornado touched down about four miles north of me, but I didn’t even know that happened until days later. We lost power, and had some downed tree debris, but the whole neighborhood got together to help clean it up. It was actually kind of nice. Plus, my uncle had bought an inverter for his electric car, so we had power without having to worry about a generator. We could power the fridge, fans, charge any and all electronic devices, and even set up a wireless hotspot to get online. We had a pretty sweet setup.

The rest, you probably know. There was widespread devastation in the Keys, and they closed the whole county. I ended up flying north to see my parents (and reassure them that I was alive!), waiting for things to reopen. I’ve been watching everything secondhand, just like everybody else. I will say that social media has been HUGELY helpful in all of this. Those safety check-ins helped me sleep at night.

Miraculously, my house seems to have escaped serious damage. I’ll finally get back to the Keys Thursday morning, and I know seeing the destruction first hand is going to be hard (even through there has already been a lot of recovery!). I may write another post once I see everything for myself, but for now, know that I am safe and well. I still have a place to live (even if it currently doesn’t have any power or running water!), and I’m headed back to work.

Stay safe everyone, and think about donating to various recovery funds. Especially Caribbean islands getting hit again by hurricane Maria.

[plothooksinc]

On the Punching of Nazis

These were responses I got to a short and to the point post I made on Facebook, which was:

“You can preach all you like about the lack of wisdom or morals in punching Nazis.  Show me how the system is going to hold them accountable in any other way when it's this deeply flawed, and I'll agree with you on more levels than just in theory.“

The response I wrote to those questions was so long it broke Facebook, stopped me from copy/pasting it, and basically forced me to print screen the entire thing and then retype it into a legible format.  Hooray?  So that being said, I switched to a different medium, which means you can find my response under the cut.

To be more specific about this—I’m talking about the punching of Richard Spencer, a known white supremacist, who was recently punched while giving an interview to an Australian reporter.  So let’s break this down:

1) This is a man who, at a post-election conference in Washington, led shouts of “Hail Trump” while audience members gave straight-arm salutes.  Who has gone on record as saying, “America belongs to white men.” Who said he’s a supporter of “identity politics for white Americans and for Europeans around the world” and that the ethnic cleansing he and his allies are calling for would be the “peaceful” kind. This is absolutely white supremacist hate.  If he wants to think this, nobody’s gonna change his mind—but having a platform to spread that to other people?  That’s a different story.  What defines a Nazi?  Well, at a guess, I’d say... following the tenets of the original Nazi party. Imagine that.

2) Nobody in authority is doing anything about any of that.

3) In the wake of both Brexit and the US election, alt-right movements have surged in visibility. Hate crimes spiked literally overnight in both cases.  An argument can be made that they’re only capable of preaching to the choir, that they’re not going to gain any more followers than those they have already, but (a) that’s false, because racism is taught by outside influence and it’s not inherent, and (b) even if it were true, the vast amount of people that classify as minorities—take a moment to think how it feels to wake up and realise that so many want you out of the country, or under their foot, or just, y’know, dead.

4) Nobody in authority is doing anything about that, either.  Let’s be honest:  none of this is illegal in the US, who deeply values freedom of speech unless it promotes imminent violence.  You could argue that a lot of the crap these groups are spouting and getting away with promote violence against certain groups, but that can’t be proven either way. What stands is:  they’re fostering hate and the system won’t stop them.  The system is, pointedly, deeply flawed.

5) Let’s reiterate that: nobody is doing anything about white supremacy on an official scale.  It’s worth noting that the White House is also full of people who support white supremacy these days.  Putting aside Trump’s self-important and privileged views, Steve Bannon is in there. Christ, look him up.  I’m going out of my way to try and explain things, you guys can put in some research.

6) “What if someone calls me a Nazi?” This is a derailing argument.  Are you, in fact, a Nazi?  No? Are you a decent human being? Then nobody’s going to call you a Nazi, because you’re not one, and you certainly don’t go around spouting shit about ethnic cleansing or gloating about white men taking over the world, do you? This isn’t rhetoric about punching people who you vaguely disagree with, this is absolutely specifically about people who think Jews aren’t even human.  Nazi isn’t some vague label.  Technically we’re discussing neo Nazis here, but same shit, different era.

So let’s discuss why Richard Spencer was punched and why I think it’s okay.  Look:  I already said.  On a theoretical level, punching anyone is wrong.  But theory doesn’t stand up to reality.  Nobody on a legal footing is addressing the sheer amount of damage people like Richard Spencer are doing to the people of the US.  They spout hate  and they spout hate and they spout hate, and not only are they not being shut down, the media is giving them an equal platform from which to spout their hate. CNN invited them on to discuss whether Jews were people or not.  This is wrong on so many levels.

Imagine for a moment that you’re a person of colour or Jewish or part of any other minority group in the US.  Listening to this crap every single day.  Seeing swastikas spray-painted on the places you like to go.   (Yes, this is happening. Look that up, too.)  Your government is a bunch of old white men and women who may agree on some levels with this shit, because they’re sure as hell not denouncing it, and some  of them are obvious supporters from the get go.  (See:  Bannon.) The White House website has new policy pages up that are textbook fascism.   There are those that don’t agree with it, and that’s good to see and good to hear, but they’re still not moving to deal with any of it.  Then again, it’s entirely possible they can’t because the whole system is, again, deeply flawed.

Richard Spencer and his like are not being dealt with by the authorities.  They’re not being called out on their shit.  This imparts a terrible message to anyone who’s not white and male – it says the world, by and large, agrees with them.  So.

When everything else fails you, seeing a Nazi get punched on live television is pretty damned cathartic. And it sends one hell of a message. That the system might be failing its people, but the average person on the street is not gonna take this bullshit.

It’s not about “feeling good for punching a Nazi”.  I mean yeah, to a lot of us watching, it felt good to see that piece of scum get decked. But if the person who punched him felt good, I’m willing to bet he was also coming from a place of a lot of pent up frustration and anger, and I’m willing to bet that didn’t all magically go away.

As for what it accomplished:

1) Spencer has said he’s more nervous about going out in public now.  Good.  Less of a platform to espouse his views.

2) It sent a clear message that this kind of message has repercussions.

3) It demonstrates to the people he’s persecuting with his stance that hey, you know what, we don’t all agree with him.  Please don’t underestimate the importance of this.  Those people are hurting badly.

4) Aligned with 3), catharsis.  And a very iconic call to action.

5) It undermines his influence over the general community.  It’s hard to take a man’s views seriously when he’s just been made a laughing stock on live television.

Yes, we should find other ways of dealing with these people than violence.  But here’s the thing:  neo Nazis, by and large, cannot be reasoned with.  That’s been tried.  They’ll argue their stance, they’ll make up facts to support their stance, they’re absolutely convinced that they’re protecting themselves against “white genocide” (????) and they’re genetically superior. The only peaceful thing I can think of to deal with their stance is to give them as little public platform to speak from as possible, and that is not working; not only because of the US freedom of speech laws, but because media are currently insisting on holding them up and treating them like their opinion has the same value as more moderate ones.  And lest we forget, their opinion generally falls along the lines of “non-white genocide wouldn’t be such a bad thing”.

So none of that has been working.  In light of that, I’ve got absolutely no damn problem with someone punching a Nazi in the face on live television.  And that is where I draw the line—Spencer can walk away from a punch.  It’s humiliating, it hurts temporarily, it sends a message.  It’s not permanent.  I am not advocating murdering Nazis, nor am I advocating being abusive toward them in any other way.  But punching one for this kind of crap?  Talk shit, get hit.

Now, this is my opinion. You can find all this stuff on an easy Google search—but it still comes down to my opinion about whether punching a particular type of person is good or bad, so.  You can listen to it or not as you please.  Just.  Keep in mind that, when you’re talking about how violence is not the answer and insinuating accidentally or otherwise that anyone who does punch a Nazi is maybe as bad as they are, you’re talking from a vast position of privilege.  You’re white, I’m white, we’re not even in the same damn country.   None of this affects us directly.  Keep that in mind.

...along the same lines, there’s a vast difference between believing violence is not the answer and believing “that Nazi sure didn’t deserve to get punched”.  I’m totally okay with people believing violence shouldn’t be the answer.  You’re entitled to that opinion.  As I said, in a perfect world, theoretically, I’d agree with you.

On the other hand, if you think the latter, you can unfriend me now.  Thanks.

[yourcertainstudentlight-blog]

I got rear ended and the guy who hit me is pressuring me - should i get insurance involved?

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Insurance on a car lease?

My insurance guy gave me below basic coverage on a lease which requires something like 100,000/300,000/100,000 but he did basic full coverage(something cheaper like 10/20/10) In the contract it states i must have 100/300/100 as the requirement but the insurance guy who does insurance for a lot of people says lower coverage should work. I just added it on and it's fine, so the insurance (progressive) sent me a letter saying I have to pay extra for adding a 3rd vehicle but nothing about the coverage amount. Will they later require I add more coverage? I don't see why I need 300k on a car that costs only 40 grand. people drive around with PIP 10/20/10 and that's good enough for the state. I have an excellent driving record with 0 accidents and have been driving for about 10 years. I realize I have ****ty insurance but insurance is a huge rip off so I want to spend as little as possible and deal with accidents out of my own pocket.""

What homeowners insurance do you use/recommend?

I am looking for homeowners insurance for a home in California. We have 2 dogs, one which is a German Shepherd. What insurance carrier works well with dog owners?""

Farmes Car Insurance?

I had a accident on the freeway a girl hi tme from behind and she had farmers insurance are they good at fixing other peoples cars when their cutomers are at fault

Scooter insurance for 16 year olds?

I turn 16 this year and wanna start riding a 50cc scooter. I found the one i want, i was wondering the rough cost of insurance on a 50cc moped for a 16 year old on a provisional license in the UK. Thanks Jamie Deeks""

How much does Homeowners Insurance cost?

Whats a good estimate for how much my homeowners insurance would be if I'm a first time buyer, my home is around 300,000. and I have good credit, plus the home is in a brand new developement. I just want an estimate. Thanks.""

What are some cheap Car Insurance Companies for Full Coverage in Texas?

Lookin for some cheap Auto Insurance Companies in Texas for Full Coverage.Any ideas?

How can I get some cheap/reasonable health insurance?

How can I get some cheap/reasonable health insurance?

Good health insurance company?

Hi guys im new to kansas and im looking for a good health insurance company which also affordable any suggestion ??? thnx

What would be the average price of car insurance for me?

- Full Time student with decent grades (will be better when my latest semester grades are recorded) got - a Honda Accord 2 dr coupe - I got a ticket before that was failure to observe signal - I only want to insure this one, and its only me T""

Can someone please explain how health insurance works to me?

Ok, I realize this question shows how ignorant I am about the real world, so I'm embarrassed but I have to be honest: I have no idea how health insurance works other than that it covers certain medical expenses! I'm just getting out of college so I am not used to having to deal with this. I know you pay a monthly fee, but what is a deductible? How does this work? For example, say a company charges $50/month with a $2,500 deductible fee...when would I have to pay the $2,500, if ever? I need the most affordable health insurance possible... I am really struggling with money at the moment. I am a U.S. citizen with a very very good health record. 22 yrs old and non-smoker. I plan to travel to Canada (Montral) and live there for about 6 months after I graduate. If I get health insurance in the U.S., will this cover me in Canada as well? Thank you for any info, it will really help me out a lot!""

Where should I look for health insurance for my mom?

My mom is 55 years old and lives in another state as me. I currently work and live in Pennsylvania at a great company that provides health insurance, dental, vision, etc. I cannot add her to my policy, as much as I would like to so I would like to try and find a policy for her. My dad works for a company that provides health insurance, however the cost of health insurance to him and my mother (who live together and are married) is extremely high. Currently, they are seeking alternatives so that my dad is covered under insurance through his company and my mom can get coverage through a third party company at a lower rate. The rate they are asking my father to pay to have both of them on the coverage policy is insanely high. I pay about $55 a month for health insurance and they are at least quadruple that. I'm looking for suggestions for a reliable and trusted company (Aetna, Anthem, etc.) that would provide individual health insurance at an affordable rate, if anyone knows of anything.""

Medical Insurance at 18?

I'm a little confused, when you turn 18, do you automatically get dropped from your parents coverage if you're not in school?""

How much can you borrow from your whole life insurance?

I know it doesnt have any cash value until about 3-5 years and that you cant borrow the face value of the policy. If i took out a 50,000 policy on my daughter , in about 5 yrs what could I borrow from it if the premium is 30/month? What % of 50,000 could I take out? i dont want to hear anything about kids dont need life insurance. I am taking one out on myself as well anyways. I need exact figures not guesses.""

What is the best and cheapest homeowner's insurance in canton georgia?

What is the best and cheapest homeowner's insurance in canton georgia?

Best car insurance company to use?

I am 22 and just traded my 2003 VW beetle for a 2010 honda civic LX (which is being financed). I use 21st Century and they're going to raise my rate by a couple hundred dollars per year. I pay every 6 months. I feel like this is too much. Even though I'm not yet 25, it seems a little excessive. Are there any suggested insurance companies with a more competitive rate? BTW I'm in California if that makes a difference...""

I'm switching car insurance and it's stressing me out?

The reason why it's stressing me out because the insurance company I had raised my insurance and I never been in an accident etc. I tried telling them I'm on a fixed income and I can't afford alot. I don't know what to do anymore I'm fed up with everything. This other insurance company asked me if I have any lapses if so then he can't give me a low rate for insurance and I never heard of that before? What is that?

I got rear ended and the guy who hit me is pressuring me - should i get insurance involved?

The person in front of me was tail gating the person ahead of him so I was trying to keep distance and my brakes were on/off. The guy behind me crashed into me from behind. There was minor damage to my car - deep scratches that need a paint job and the left bumper that almost came off. He had a dent in his hood. He was very apologetic claiming it was his fault. He was willing to pay for all the damages and felt very bad about the situation. He said that if insurance gets involved, the higher our rates would go up but said it was all up to me in what I wanted to do. We exchanged information and was willing to fix my car as soon as possible. He called me and did his research in which we would get my car fixed. My back is hurting badly now and I'm going to get it checked now. He just called me up asking if he can meet up again to take pictures of my car. Thing is why would he want to take better pictures of my car? Don't you have to go show the people? I just got off the phone w. him and he said that I have minor damages compared to his dent in the hood. He believes that because I suddenly braked, he braked as well causing his hood to slide under my back.... He pretty much made it seem like what he did was very minor. I didn't meet up w. him b/c my parents drove another car to take me to the Dr. and got upset and was suspicious and accused me of illegal fraud? I killed him back w. kindness and he was being nice saying he wanted to fix my car ASAP. He really scared me last night and I'm feeling pressure b/c he wants to fix it NOW. IS HE POSSIBLY TRYING TO TURN THIS THING AROUND NOW??

""What are the motorcycle insurance fees where you live, compared with car insurance?""

I mean the minimum required by law in your country. in some places it's only medical coverage in case of accident, in others third-party insurance is mandatory as well - please elaborate in your answers. I ask because where I live (Israel), it would cost 3 times as much to purchase mandatory insurance for a 250CC bike than for a compact car, and the bike fees are going to get yet higher soon - so I wanted to learn how it goes in other countries.""

""After a car is stolen, how long does it take for the insurance company to make a payment to me?""

I had full covrage, they didn't even off me a rental car, due to the police report.So now I'm just playing the waiting game for my settlement.But for future reference,who do you all recomend for good insurance coverage,without alot of bull up their sleeve?""

Mandating health insurance?

I heard that HIllary and Obama want to mandate health insurance. How is that going to solve anything? People can't afford it, like me. Health insurance should be like car insurance, people pay their own way and if they don't have it they pay for their repairs or don't get fixed.""

Average 1 million dollar term life insurance premium?

Average 1 million dollar term life insurance premium?

""What kind of qualities should I look for when purchasing a car? ie insurance, modern elements...?""

For experienced buyers: As an entry level analyst looking to purchase a car, I was hoping to get some ideas about my first big purchase. My norm has usually been purchasing something and regretting it some time down the road ie Bought a Dell laptop, turns out it heats up a lot. Or a new smartphone (android), turns out it freezes plenty. So I want to purchase a car, and was hoping if someone who is experienced could possibly take some time off to tell me what I should look out for. I understand insurance is a *****, and even though cars are affordable on lease, the insurance will get you. My objective: Car : Lease a pre-owned or 2nd hand car, possibly 2012 or 2013 model, 4 door, sedan. Insurance : Max coverage, low payment (ideal but, shoot for the stars and....) Questions: I understand there are qualities or modern elements like lane stabilizer and effective cruise control that can reduce insurance coverage. How effective can they be? What kind of sedans have low insurance and are modernistic, such as built in navigation and those cool looking monitors? (kind of childish) Which insurance coverages are the most important, there is basic, comprehensive.... If you need additional information, I will be checking this question hourly and will be glad to provide additional information. Thanks!""

""Getting a yamaha r6, how much is insurance usually?""

Never had a bike, have a clean record, what does insurance usually cost on a bike??""

Car insurance for a non working vehicle?

My car needed a major repair last fall. I work from home and have been trying to pay off student loans so I decided to do without a car for 6 months since I live in a convenient location- I just received my tax return and can afford the major repair. I stopped my car insurance while I wasn't driving since it was $125/mo and I now need to start it back up. I am switching companies since I really didn't like mine- I just got to the questions about insurance lapse does this apply to me since my car wasn't working? I haven't returned my form yet. I hope I didn't screw this up, a friend just told me I should have possibly kept a storage coverage that my rates might skyrocket. It's an older car with no loan attached. I live in MN, perfect driving record, was with the same company for 25 years and had never missed a payment. If it is considered a lapse is there a way to get around it legally like giving/selling my car to my boyfriend and then listing me as a driver so I can use it when needed? We don't live together but he did most of the driving when we did use it- it's not worth much, maybe a few thousand dollars at most- maybe I'd be better off selling my car and getting a new (used) one so I don't have to explain a gap? Thanks.""

""The police towed my car on my way to get my road tax, but had insurance?""

got insurance on my car but no road tax, just bought the car and have to change it from disable to normal driver but the police have towed my car way, can i get my car back?""

Where can i find cheap full coverage auto insurance?

Where can i find cheap full coverage auto insurance?

Does anyone knows an affordable weight loss camp for a 20 years old?

I am desperate to lose weight and i need a healthy, but affordable way to do so in the Florida area OR new England""

Is it true that ObamaCare forces people to buy health insurance?

If not, risk going to jail and face a fine.""

Car insurance cancelled on financed car..?

So I've been looking for a way out of my car loan lately because the payments are really too much for me right now...I know I shouldn't have got into it but I was young and VERY gullible. I just got a letter in the mail from my insurance company asking for me to verify the address I have on file with them ( where I park my car at night) or else they will cancel my coverage. So if they cancel my coverage, will I still be held accountable for the car loan? Or will I have to pay the balance off? Any advice would be greatly appreciated. :-)""

""I got rear-ended and my car insurance was cancelled a month ago, what's going to happen?""

I live in Oregon. I've been faithful with car insurance for about 4 years now, full comp and coverage. My auto-magic payment did not go through one month and my insurance was cancelled. An insured driver hit me, police cited him at fault. What is going to happen to me, my license and vehicle. The police didn't take my car or cite me for no insurance after knowing mine was cancelled. What will the DMV say and what should I do to save my butt?""

Occasional Driver Insurance.?

My had has 02 Mazda under his name as a First Driver and Insured. I got my G2 License Dec 11 and i have been using the car ever since ~ 40-100KM a week. I am not insured in any way. I got a Left-Turn Signal Ticket and the COP did not say anything. I got stooped 2 other times driving a work car not in my name and they did not say anything. Is it safe for me to drive like this. I have been told by some family member that i have to be listed as a Second Driver. Whats the benefit on this? I am 22 years old. Would it cost a lot to get Insured?

How much will my liberty insurance go up?

i'm 17, have had my ma junior operators license for 10 months. i was driving home, when in a thickly settled area i saw a motorcycle getting ready to pull off the sidewalk, i was keeping an eye on him to make sure he wasnt going to pull out into my lane, when i looked up and saw that the car in front of me had come to a dead stop, at a greenlight, bc a pedestrian had taken a step into the crosswalk. my vehicle hit the one in front of me, which pushed into the one in front of him. Pretty bad damage, speed was around 25-30mph. Right now i'm listed as an occasional operator on my dad's insurance (clean record). Its liberty mutual, just curious how much itll increase per year since im young. i wasn't cited, no injuries.""

""How much to insure a 94 ford pickup w/ 120,000 miles for a 16y male?""

Numbers only please(no, well its alot or Get a quote online ) its gunna be insured either under a friend at 35+ or by my self. also some advice on what companies will take a 16yo alone would be very helpfull""

Is mandatory auto insurance constitutional?

Ever since debated started in regards to Obamacare, conservative pundits and politicians have been arguing that making people buy health insurance is unconstitutional. That putting people in jail with fines for not buying something is wrong. Well, what's the difference with auto insurance. People HAVE to have car insurance in the US and are put in jail if they don't. I don't see the difference.""

What happens if your driveing a car with no car insurance and someone hits you.?

We live in California. My seventeen year old was driving our car that was uninsured and was in a accident. The other driver admitted it was his fault and there insurance company has already claimed full responsibility. What I'm wondering is what will happen when they find out we have no insurance. I did yake my son to the doctors and they said he does have wip lash but will be fine

Cheap car insurance..?

Im 22, female & this will be my first car to insure. I have a 1.6 Astra sxi 02 plate. Does anybody know what sites to try for the cheapest insurance? I have tried the obvious ones..go compare, confused, tesco, compare the market etc but they are all too dear! Can anyone recommend somewhere they have used with the same circumstances?""

What car is cheap for insurance?

I'm 17 year old im looking for a car I have got to the point of I want anything thats ok but insurance is killing me so I came up with a few cars let me know if it's good on insurance . 89 Silvia s13k ,98 gto twin turbo ,98 pointac grand prix and if you have any cars that you suggest or insurance plains that I should look into let me know.""

Auto insurance?

which auto insurance should i get for my 2005 chrysler sebring? i have farmers but its so freaking expensive! i pay 200 dollras every month and i know theres people who pay less i wanna know which insurance would be cheaper? but i want full coverage and everything.

How much would it cost for 3-5 million dollars General Liability Insurance?

I work in various chemical plants and refineries repairing/maintaning/calibrating the laborotory instruments in these places. I'm currently working as a sub-contractor through another company but that is about to change, as my business partner and I are breaking away from them to start our own business. Most of these plants require between 3-5 million in liability coverage to my knowlege. I need a ballpark figure of what that kind of coverage costs in the Louisiana/Gulf coast region. Last year we did $150,000 in sales between 3 people and the revenue has been growing substantially each year (~20% or so). Thanks in advance for your answer.""

How much would insurance cost for a Toyota Celica GT?

Ok so I have asked this question a couple of times now and I guess I should be more specific. I am getting my license soon and will probably be getting a Toyota Celica GT 2000 or 2001 and I was wondering the insurance price for a new driver (who is a girl) for this type of car. Not like what the price is based on but an actual estimated price. I am not expecting anything to be exacted just a guess. Plz help, thank.""

What does it take to commit a minor and how do you afford it if you don't have health insurance?

My uncle and aunt are struggling with my 16 year old cousin who suffers from anorexia and she will go up to 3 weeks without eating anything. I am not kidding she only drinks water and then she will slowly puree some fruit into her water again for about a week or two before she binges for a few days and then goes back to this cycle of starvation. She looks pale and has no energy. Her eyes are sunken in and she hides in her room. My aunt and uncle are immigrants and they don't speak english that well. They don't have a lot of money or health insurance and I have no idea what to do but they are asking me to help! I've never dealt with this type of situation before and I'm just thinking they should call an ambulance and maybe they'll commit her to some state institution? I've been googling this and I come across all kinds of conflicting information. How can she get help in the state of California and is there any way if they are not insured to pay for her treatment? Is there any state aid related to extreme cases of anorexia?

Do I need renters insurance?

I've had renters insurance for the past 2 years. The new place I'm at now is not under my name. But I do pay some of the rent to the the person I'm living with (whose name is on lease). Someone told me today that renters insurance is no good and doesn't cover anything if my name is not on the lease. Is this true?

I got rear ended and the guy who hit me is pressuring me - should i get insurance involved?

The person in front of me was tail gating the person ahead of him so I was trying to keep distance and my brakes were on/off. The guy behind me crashed into me from behind. There was minor damage to my car - deep scratches that need a paint job and the left bumper that almost came off. He had a dent in his hood. He was very apologetic claiming it was his fault. He was willing to pay for all the damages and felt very bad about the situation. He said that if insurance gets involved, the higher our rates would go up but said it was all up to me in what I wanted to do. We exchanged information and was willing to fix my car as soon as possible. He called me and did his research in which we would get my car fixed. My back is hurting badly now and I'm going to get it checked now. He just called me up asking if he can meet up again to take pictures of my car. Thing is why would he want to take better pictures of my car? Don't you have to go show the people? I just got off the phone w. him and he said that I have minor damages compared to his dent in the hood. He believes that because I suddenly braked, he braked as well causing his hood to slide under my back.... He pretty much made it seem like what he did was very minor. I didn't meet up w. him b/c my parents drove another car to take me to the Dr. and got upset and was suspicious and accused me of illegal fraud? I killed him back w. kindness and he was being nice saying he wanted to fix my car ASAP. He really scared me last night and I'm feeling pressure b/c he wants to fix it NOW. IS HE POSSIBLY TRYING TO TURN THIS THING AROUND NOW??

https://www.linkedin.com/pulse/f450-insurance-cost-how-much-sigrun-sharpe"