#i think im leaning for vampire bc i like them more but i like the blue moon aesthetic they gave to werewolf

[beheeyemite]

Art I drew to decorate my Art Fight profile! Please check it out! Also tell me what team to join, I cant decide...

[agaypanic]

His Good Girl (Carlisle Cullen X Vampire!Wife!Reader Smut)

Kinktober Masterlist | Main Masterlist | Request Something! | AO3

Kinktober Day 3: Praise Kink

Summary: For your one hundredth wedding anniversary, Carlisle takes you to a cabin in the mountains away from your children and the prying eyes of Forks citizens. The days are beautiful, but the nights are far more pleasurable.

A/N: ignore that im posting day 3 on the 23rd…. Im so behind omfg ANYWAYS i know vampires technically cant get hard or probably cum or wtv bc they don’t have bloodflow but this is a kinktober fic so idgaf. i know a thousand years is in twilight soundtrack, but i like the song and think it fits so pretend it/christina perri exists in this universe. Tbh this feels more like a real fic than a kinktober fic (not saying kinktober fics aren’t real fics. I just feel like kinktober stuff really focuses on the sex/kink and i feel like this is more of a fluff that ends in smut)

C/W: oral (fem!receiving), fingering, unprotected p in v sex (they're vampires so they cant get pregnant or diseases but wrap it before you tap it), praise kink, body worship, rough sex

***

“Carlisle, dear, I can pack my own suitcase.” But you did nothing to stop him from meticulously folding your clothes and putting them in your bag. Instead, you sat on the edge of the bed and watched him work. 

Your husband looked up, a smile appearing on his lips. “And yet, you sit and watch me pack it for you.”

“What can I say?” You said with a shrug. “I like watching your skilled hands be put to work.”

“Oh really?” Carlisle seemed to suddenly forget the task he was previously so focused on. He walked over to you, letting the cold hands you loved so much cup your face gently. “Just wait for this weekend. Then you’ll really see how skillful they are.”

You giggle, pulling at his waist and leaning up to kiss him. “I can’t wait.”

It wasn’t long before you were finished loading up the car and ready to leave. Carlisle had to practically drag you away when your goodbyes with the kids went on a little too long. But you couldn’t help it. Not only did you love your children dearly, but you needed to give them all (mainly Emmett and Edward) to behave while you and Carlisle were gone. Although they were tremendously older than their young adult bodies, they sometimes acted just as recklessly as teenagers. 

The drive to the cabin was long and peaceful. Carlisle let you handle the music, and although he kept his eyes on the road, he smiled at the sight of you passionately singing along with every song out of the corner of his eyes. 

You arrived in the afternoon, and your husband insisted on carrying your bags inside for you, allowing you to wander around the cabin you came to for special occasions. It followed a less modern aesthetic, mainly because getting a good internet connection so far from civilization was a little difficult. It reminded you of when you were first married to Carlisle.

“Why don’t you pick out a record?” Carlisle said from the bedroom, raising his voice a little so you could hear him down the hall, despite your enhanced hearing. 

You walked over to the small shelf that was filled to the brim with different genres and eras of music. You opted for something more modern, so you pulled out a Christina Perri vinyl and put it on the player.

The first track was one that you knew all too well, and it seemed Carlisle remembered it just as well when it hit his ears. Deciding that unpacking could wait, he left the bedroom and approached you. When he got close enough to grab you, he started leading you in a slow dance around the living room. And when Christina sang about loving someone for a thousand years, Carlisle kissed you deeply before making a comment about how he couldn’t wait for the thousand-year mark.

***

When your anniversary came the next day, you and Carlisle didn’t do much. Besides being slightly more affectionate than usual and exchanging presents, it seemed like a normal day for you two. But you cherished it like any other day you spent with your husband. 

The only time Carlisle strayed from you today was to go outside and hunt for dinner. He came back in record time with two wine glasses filled with red liquid and a few smudges around his mouth that he let you kiss off. Ushering you to the couch in front of the lit fireplace, he handed you a glass and used his now free hand to hold you close to him.

“To you, my dear.” Carlisle toasted, holding his glass up to you.

“And to you, darling.” You added, clinking his cup with your own. “To a hundred years.”

“And a hundred more.”

Hours had passed without you knowing. You were too wrapped up in Carlisle’s presence, the way he stroked your arm while he listened to you talk about whatever came to your mind. 

Eventually, your glasses were empty, and Carlisle set them on the small table in front of you before cuddling you again. You leaned into his touch, breathing his scent in. “I love your hands.” You muttered against his neck. The hands in question were either holding yours or gently massaging you.

“Oh, yeah?” He smiled, and you nodded. “You wanna see what else they can do?”

It felt like a switch had flipped, and suddenly, you were straddling your husband and kissing him like you’d been starved for a hundred years. He kissed back with the same sentiment, hands roaming and groping your body.

Carlisle broke away the slightest bit to speak. “As much as I’d love to take you right here, why don’t we move to the bedroom?” Without waiting for a response, he stood up, carrying you down the hall like it was nothing. You clung to him, kissing and lightly nipping at his neck.

When he reached the bedroom, Carlisle softly set you on the bed and started kissing you again. He towered over you, caging you in with his limbs.

But kissing, although very enjoyable, wasn’t enough for him. His hands started to roam again, and he began to play with the hem of your shirt. “May I?” He asked against your lips, and you nodded furiously. Carlisle peeled the shirt off of your body, and your bra was off soon after.

Without warning, he broke away from you. You were about to protest when his mouth latched onto your nipple, flicking it with his tongue. You moaned at the sensation, running a hand through his once pristine hair. He made sure to give the same treatment to the other.

“So beautiful.” He muttered, squeezing your tits with his hands and running his cold thumbs over your now stiff nipples. You mewled and arched your back. God, the things this man did to you. “So perfect.”

“Carlisle.” You whined. You couldn’t take anymore waiting, you needed him now. In desperation, you started moving your hips to try and rut against his thigh. He allowed it, giving attention to your breasts a little while longer while you used him to ease your need. But his thigh wasn’t enough. “Carlisle, come on.”

He looked up at you with a caring but mischievous look. “What’s the magic word?”

“Carlisle!”

“Nope.” The man smirked, slowly trailing kisses down your stomach and stopping at the waistband of your pants. “Come on, dear. Where are your manners?”

“Please!” You cried out.

Carlisle swiftly started to unbutton your pants, tugging them down your legs. “There’s my good girl.” The little nickname just made you even wetter. Carlisle took off your panties, leaving you entirely bare for him. He stared down at you, taking in the image. He sighed, seemingly lost in thought. “You’re the most beautiful creature I’ve ever seen.”

Ready to ravage you, Carlisle started to crawl on the bed towards you. But before he could get to the place he wanted most, you put your foot on his chest to stop him. A hand shot up to caress your ankle, and Carlisle started to worry that he was moving too fast for you without realizing it.

“Maybe you should take your clothes off too?” You suggested, giggling at his sigh of relief. Carlisle dropped your foot and stood up again, stripping in front of you. He did so as fast as possible without using superspeed, knowing you were desperate for him but would still enjoy the show.

“Better?”

“Better.”

You sat up, his stiff cock now at your eyeline. You reached out, wanting to grasp it, suck it, whatever he would let you do.

But Carlisle grabbed your wrist. “Now, what do you think you’re doing?” He asked, tone light enough to indicate that he wasn’t upset or serious.

“I want you to enjoy yourself.” You answer with a shrug. “It’s your anniversary too, you know.”

“You want me to enjoy myself?” He asked, gently pushing you until you were lying on your back. You nodded. “Then be a good girl and spread your legs.”

A tingle went down your spine at the command, and you immediately did as told. Carlisle grasped your ankles to keep your legs separated. He stared at your pussy, mouth watering at the thought of tasting you. He inched closer to you, hands running up your legs.

He didn’t waste another second. Carlisle pushed at your thighs to bring them to your chest and dove into your pussy, licking a broad strip through your slit before latching onto your clit. He groaned at the taste of you, sending chilling vibrations through your body. One of his hands splayed out at the back of your knees to keep your legs up, and he used his now free hand to prod at your entrance.

“You’re so wet, honey.” He cooed as he slipped a finger in, soon adding another. Carlisle began fucking you slowly, hooking his fingers on your g-spot and flicking at your clit with his tongue.

“More.” You moaned, squeezing his fingers. “Want your cock, Carlisle.”

Your husband tsked, taking his mouth off of you but continuing his ministrations. “Not til you come on my fingers, Y/n. You know the rules. I don’t want to hurt you.”

You whined, wanting nothing more than to be stretched and filled to the brim by your husband’s cock. But it warmed your cold heart that he was still cautious with you. 

“Then make me come.” You begged.

Carlisle took it as a personal challenge to make you finish as quickly as possible. He usually liked to take his time with you, but you were desperate. So Carlisle quickened his pace, added a third finger, flicked and sucked at your clit, and soon enough you were falling apart. You stiffened and let out a choked moan as Carlisle helped you ride out your high.

While catching your breath, Carlisle withdrew his fingers from you and cleaned your juices off with his tongue. The sound that came from him was almost animalistic. He looked at you as if you were his prey. “You’re so delicious.” He said, licking the remnants of your cum off of his hand. The way he was looking down on you made you even wetter.

Usually, Carlisle liked to start nice and slow, giving you time to adjust to his size before he began ramming into you. But tonight, he couldn’t control himself. He grabbed himself, swiping the tip of his penis through your slick folds to collect more of your juices before prodding your entrance and bottoming out in one swift motion. 

Then he started fucking you.

You were beyond grateful that you were staying in a cabin in the middle of the mountains because if someone were around, they would’ve thought you were being murdered. The headboard banged against the wall with the force Carlisle was using to fuck you. He held onto the backs of your knees, keeping your legs pinned to your chest and giving you shocks of pleasure with every hard thrust.

It was all too much, but in the best way. Carlisle fucking you roughly at an angle that you knew would make it difficult to walk for a while, despite you usually being able to recover from rough sex quickly. With the way Carlisle was acting right now, his panting and almost growling sounds, and his nails digging into your skin, you knew he wouldn’t be satisfied after one round.

“So good.” Carlisle groaned, leaning down to kiss at your neck. You pulled at Carlisle’s hair to try and ground yourself, but you were too far gone with the overwhelming pleasure. “Are you gonna come?”

“Uh-huh.” It came out as a high-pitched squeal, and Carlisle smiled.

“You can do it, honey.” While speaking, he snaked a hand down to rub at your clit, pace as rough and furious as his thrusts. “Want you to come. Be a good girl for me; go ahead.” 

It was like Carlisle had some kind of control over your body. As soon as the words left his mouth, you found your release. It was one of the most intense orgasms you had ever had. You were a bit surprised that you didn’t accidentally pull out Carlisle’s hair from how hard you were gripping the strands.

Carlisle continued fucking you at his rough pace, making you shake and cry out in pleasure. He didn’t stop, seemingly very focused on now reaching his own peak. The way your cunt gripped his cock certainly helped, and not long after you, he was shooting ropes of cum inside you, keeping up his thrusts to fuck it into you.

When he came down from his high, his movements slowed to a stop. He delicately moved your legs off your chest to lay on the bed, massaging any possible sore spots he may have given you.

“Was I too rough?” He asked, seemingly in a clearer headspace now.

You shook your head, reaching up to caress his face. “I liked it.” Carlisle sighed in relief, leaning down to kiss you. “Maybe we can do it again? Like, now?”

He laughed at your eagerness. “How about in five minutes?” He wrapped you up in his arms before flipping you over so you were lying on his chest. His cock was still hard inside you, filling you nicely. “I want to lay with my wife for a while.”

“I won’t argue with that.” You said, snuggling into Carlisle’s bare chest. “Happy anniversary, Carlisle.”

“Happy anniversary, Y/n.”

***

Twilight Taglist: @wedfan2 @natashamaximoff-69 @pink-hufflepuff

[merryro]

bottom ryan ross fic recs =D

this post is what it says on the tin! mostly ryden, i'll indicate if otherwise. fics w ☆ means they're my FAVES. will update as i find more, so check it every so often and there Might be a new fic listed heh ^_^

fics on livejournal! (most of these are written by the same writer?!)

☆ Rose Is a Four-Letter Word *sort of gsf (but mostly ryden), summary: Ryan's allergic to roses. Well, maybe "allergic" is the wrong word for it. my absolute FAVOURITE fic. ever.

☆ There's No 'I' In Ryan Ross *gsf, summary: Jon Walker attempts the impossible: to make the gayest band on the planet even gayer

hormones in key *panic! gsf + pete wentz on the phone

The Taste of Red *summary: It would seem absurdly ordinary, Ryan waking up next to another body like this, except for the fact that Brendon's not breathing. vampire brendon!

We Were Dreamers Not So Long Ago *rywalk, summary: Set about ten years in the future in a cabin in the woods, Jon and Ryan go to unwind before they start up again. Ryan's less than pleased, but that changes quickly.

We Were Heading For The Sea *summary: "Across the kitchen table, I fired several rounds, but you were still sitting there when the smoke cleared." – Ani Difranco post-split ANGST ANGST

☆ and set this cruise control for crash *rycer, summary: We had to, Ryan says, for the band. my notes for this fic was "CDSZZYYFUCKING FIC IM LOSING ITTTTT"

☆ Crush (With Eyeliner) *gsf, summary: Yeah, honestly, Jon Walker totally is that kind of guy. He just doesn't know it yet. anything written in jon's pov is automatically a 10/10 fic

Broken Glass and Rusty Nails *summary: When Ryan gets the tattoo, he bears it casually, sprawled out in the chair and smiling at Brendon's chatter as the needle traces over his skin. ryan has a freaky pain kink

Here Be Dragons * no summary but here's the main gist: time travel fic, ryan wants to be the one to take brendon's virginity underaged brendon but not by a lot

A Little Less Sixteen Candles A Little More Schoolboy Crush *rywentzden or whatever the shipname for ryan/brendon/pete is, double penetration, summary: What if Ryan can have them both?

The Pros and Cons of Group Sex With Your Bandmates *gsf + pete again! that man is always in patd's business

☆ That First Inconveivable Touch *summary: Ryan never gets what he wants like this. It's just not how his life works. dirty sex in a bathroom!

Like a Game *sequel to That First Inconceivable Touch summary: Boys are only after one thing, Ryan is. Ryan doesn't know what he's after, but he hopes to find that only one thing one of these days so he can stop looking.

This Is Screaming 'Photo Op' *summary: Brendon thinks Ryan is totally sexy. brendon finds pics of ryan naked

☆ laid bare for all to see, but mostly just for you *no summary but here's the gist: ryan is a slut and brendon fucks him against a window (its REALLY hot)

☆ NaNoRyRo *a compilation of ryden smutshots over 30 days. literally felt like i struck gold finding this

Bets Off * summary: "I know you guys are taking bets on me and Brendon," Ryan said, "and I want in." kinda sad since we’re actually in the future now and… they didn’t last forever

you’ll be platinum *summary: Brendon's sex tape gets mixed reviews. i honestly love the way this fic went from brendons sex tape is leaked to ryan has an existential crisis

after i have dreamed *summary: Brendon’s eyes are huge and brown and his lashes are approximately as thick as trees, and yeah, their noses are brushing because Brendon has just leaned in closer. He’s thumbing Ryan’s arm carefully, blinking, and Ryan swallows and squeezes his eyes shut, suppressing the urge to bite his lip. such a beautiful fic, chockfull of wonderful imagery

In The Sound *was deleted off lj but luckily someone saved this on the wayback machine! so that’s the link i put here, summary: How could you walk away from it? Why are you still walking away? this fic. wow. ok it doesn’t count as bottom ryan bc theres no explicit sex, but its just such a good story so i wanted to recommend it! its a ‘what if’ brendon left the band scenario n yeah its heartbreaking but its a happy ending!!!

Take Center Stage And Step Up To Save The Last Dance (He Was A Sk8er Boi) *ryden switch! ryan tops first then brendon, if udm!! summary: They come from two different worlds. a fic inspired by Sk8er Boi by avril lavigne! ryans a skater and brendon does dance

like you imagined *summary: Yeah, Ryan's thought about it. ryden’s first time! sooo hot

Spin Cycle *ryan has a dirty stinky tshirt kink, doesn’t technically bottom cs he just sucks brendon off but its really hot!

To A Man’s Heart *side couples jon/joe and spencer/patrick summary: Desperate to escape an arranged marriage, Charleston belle Ryan Ross heads to Denver and takes his chances as a mail-order bride. When he arrives, he discovers that handsome rancher Brendon Urie has absolutely no desire to marry--until Ryan charms him with his sweet nature and even sweeter kisses.

One Summer Last Fall *summary: Fall Out Boy never existed, so life is pretty tough for Ryan Ross. no actual fucking in this one but its such a hilarious read!

In Medias Res *summary: One minute they were watching tv and Brendon was groping Ryan good-naturedly, and the next...

The Ones You Can Count On *ryan/william beckett/mike carden no summary but basically ryan is sad bc he cant have brendon so bill and mike carden of tai… fuck him! really hot and really good

☆ Four Men And A Little Cabin *gsf, Unrelated, non-linear scenes from a recording cabin

The Hand That Feeds *summary: It's always easy enough for Ryan to come to him after the fact, after ignoring Brendon all night, after being with her; easy enough for Brendon to give in.

☆ That’s What He Said *gsf, idk how to tag this but everyone fucks everyone, its hot, summary: Truckstops and Statelines and boyfriends, etc.

Sweeter Than Candy, Better Than Cake *gsf, summary: It's really no big deal that their male guitarist smells fruity and has unnecessarily glossy lips.

The One Where Ryan Ross Gets Gangbanged *panic! gsf, but mainly ryden, summary: All Ryan wants on his birthday is to get fucked. A lot.

just a little longer, long enough *kind of rycer? and joncer.. and also ryden… summary: Spencer has plans, Spencer gets what he wants, Spencer is clueless. A spencer character study, really worth a read!!

☆ where the light bends at the cracks *ryon, with a super subtle tiny hint at ryden, no summary and idk how to describe it even, just read it!!!

Hum Along With The TV *not really explicit sex but im pretty sure ryan bottoms… summary: "Brendon." There's a smile as he sits down on the bottom step, knocking Ryan's knees slightly; a smile with straight, white teeth and an imperious mouth, one that gets imprinted into memory. He cups his hands around his lips and tilts his head. There's a brief orange glow and a lazy stream of smoke as Brendon asks, "So, what are you here for?"

"penises are for boys, vaginas are for girls, unless of course, something crazy happens. then anything's game." *fem ryan!

☆ Date Night *summary (ok not a summary, its an excerpt, live with it.): It’s almost like starting from scratch, even though they’ve been invading each other’s personal space on a fairly regular basis for a couple of years now. But there’s a big difference between friendship and relationship and up to this point, everything that’s been done has been for show. i really loved this one for some reason… so sweet!

Moulin Rouge AU *rycer, (toxic-ish) brencer and ryden, MAJOR character death(s), no summary but its basically what it says on the tin HAHA. i really wanted to love this but god that ending is just SICK. maybe one of you will be into the heartbreak as terrible as this one gave me

Retail jobs and cracks in the ceiling *they fuck in the second part! summary: Such a muddy line between the things you want and the things you have to do.

☆ Always Leaving, But *brendon bottoms in the 3rd part but the rest of it should be bottom ryan! has ryan/keltie and a little brendon/pete, summary: If there's a science to it, Brendon can't figure it out. This fic. THIS FIC. fucked me UP. read it!!!!

False Advertising *kind of rycer at the end, summary: AU. Ryan makes a mistake. Spencer helps him out.

☆ (sequel to False Advertising) Small Blessings *rycer/brencer and joncer too, summary: Spencer Smith puts up with a lot of shit. okay so this was a really strange whack fic, but in the BEST WAY possible. totally recommend it, just. read itttttt

It’s All Secret Love *summary: Flashbacks and love making.

everyone is shaking to your name *summary: Okay, so, um. Ryan really, really hates admitting this – and, well, he's never really admitted it before, the only person who knows is Spencer – but... Ryan goes on the voyeur website things. this one’s a little strange, so do heed the notes and warnings!

Carousel *this one’s a bit tough to tag the ships HAHA its gsf, ryden-leaning with jealous spencer, and also its MPREG (read the prequel linked in the notes), summary: "Don't do anything drastic before coffee. I don't want to miss it." huh! this one was strange too… do read it though, its interesting… a housemd crossover (kinda)

☆ ☆ All We Fear is All That Can Save Us *summary: Jon and Ryan still talk to Spencer, and Jon still talks to Brendon, but since that decision was made last May, Ryan and Brendon haven't really talked. And Brendon knows that he shouldn't be surprised that Ryan's here; after all, he's here and he's never been as, well, expressive about sex as Ryan has been. TWO STARS BC THIS FIC IS GENUINELY LIFE CHANGING. dom brendon and sub ryan post-split and its ough my GOD. read it read it NOWWW

Elsewhere *small hint of one-sided brencer, The Giver (novel) au, summary: According to Spencer, the Community is the way it is for the good of everyone. “Choices are dangerous,” he tells Brendon. “What if people were to choose the wrong thing?” ~20,000, this reawakened my childhood obsession with dystopian novels, give it a read!

☆ Nerds In Love *summary: "Sorry, man. Maybe you should call Geek Squad."

this one time, at band camp… (or; save a drum, bang a drum major) *summary: Spencer's best friend is falling for the guy they used to refer to as "the annoying kid from All-State". definitely my favourite band au

☆ the trapeze act was wonderful but never meant to last *wentzross, summary: Someday we'll be loved the way we want to be loved by the people we want to love us. SO BEAUTIFUL AND TERRIBLY HEARTBREAKING. read it if you hate/love yourself

Except under the pale light *wentzross, summary: Later, Pete will make pancakes. Maybe he'll bring Ryan along to the studio, maybe he'll let Ryan talk him into eyeliner again.

Walking Sideways Takes Longer, But You Get There Eventually *spyan, summary: Ryan tries to have a positive heteronormative influence on Spencer, but it doesn't go as planned, because come on! Who do you think you are kidding, Ryan Ross?

Dealing With Bullets *summary: “You know these words, though.” Brendon points out. Ryan just shrugs and says, “Yes, my mind does, but do my fingers?” Brendon thinks about the question for a long, long time. Three days later, Spencer is already asking about how Ryan got Brendon to be this quiet and would he mind sharing the secret?

pointy fucking shoes *this one’s kinda fucked up, so, summary: Ryan isn't sure who he is so he tries to forget.

☆ Back To The Place You Are *brendon/OFC but its ryden-centric and ryden endgame! summary: “He’s cute.” Brendon looks over at her, startled, and wonders if it’s all as obvious as it feels, if she can see it scrawled across his face after only talking to him for ten minutes. “He’s uh. He’s my band mate.” She smiles and nods like she knows there’s more to it than that, but doesn’t know him well enough to ask. really cute brendon character study sorta? its a good exploration of ryden’s relationship and its a happy ending =) readdd ittttt

I thought *summary: In the beginning, the Thing that Brendon and Ryan start up isn't supposed to be anything other than a way to relax and unwind. After awhile, Brendon stops being sure what it actually is, and what either of them want.

These Elegant Crimes *wentzross (technically its more petekey which has nothing to do w ryro but i digress, its a good fic!) summary: After his Summer of Like ends, Pete convinces himself that Ryan is what he needs. Pete's still got a few hang-ups, however, and that's made clearest when Infinity on High is produced. In other words: No one is getting what they need.

Hasselhoff *wentzross, jailbait ryan, summary: Pete Wentz can't seem to drink enough to have a good time at this rep party. The beer doesn't taste right, the band playing pretty much sucks, and everywhere he turns dumb teenagers shanghai him. But when one teen, a slight, brown-eyed boy, pops up, Pete can't help but feel something other than annoyance.

Like Light Ends, With a Z *ryden switch!! brendon gets bit by a chinchilla and enters a sex craze 😵‍💫😵‍💫

Clandestine *summary: Ryan doesn't expect Brendon to actually show up in New York at the show and he certainly doesn't expect what happens, only now he can't quite let go. the young veins postdivorce era fic!

I Am the Derivative and You Are the Curves *summary: Brendon’s good at math. Ryan isn’t. In fact, Ryan’s so bad, he needs a tutor. In fact, his tutor is Brendon. This, of course, leads to weekly meetings, but sushi breaks and local concerts follow, to costume parties and beer pong, first dates and thanksgiving break, and more than Ryan could've thought possible from someone with a stack of books that thick. theres some past jon/brendon

Acquiescence Hard Gained *actually a joncer fic, but theres SOME ryden and i love this fic so im reccing it anyway. summary: Spencer had the control. It took Jon a little longer to notice that perhaps Spencer didn’t want that role. d/s elements

Irrevocably Combined *summary: Wherein Ryan really just needs some time to figure a few things out. takes place after ryan’s dad dies

Meant It When I Said “The Pleasure Is Mine” *no fucking, just really intense rimming and YES

☆ The Width of a Circle *summary: An object at rest will remain at rest unless acted upon by an external and unbalanced force.' Patrick watches the pieces fall together. just, the sweetest fic ever. tells the story of ryden getting together through the eyes of patrick

Bedazzled (blinded by the light) *summary: Brendon is Ryan's canvas.

Synergy *gsf, summary: They weren't so much dating as simply existing.

☆ Ryan Ross’s Guide To Sex Positions *summary says it all tbh, summary: Ryan's favorite sex positions with all three of his boyfriends, and his favorite with all of them together, THIS FIC IS EVERYTHING IVE EVER WANTED

Asphyxiophilia *spyan, summary: Ryan discovered his biggest kink, the thing that could get him off the fastest, make him come the hardest, when he was almost too young to even understand what he was feeling. breathplay! super hot. underaged spencer though

How naptime can go horribly right *no summary but basically ryan wants to nap but brendon wants to fuck so he does!

Some Things We Can’t Escape *rockett, summary: Ryan knew exactly how Bill was 'sorry'; sorry for overstepping that mark, for making impossible feelings suddenly flare up from where the two boys had kept them buried, sorry for making it real. Unbearably, painfully, real. HOLYYY wow i love rockett so i love this fic so very very much

fics on ao3!

not to shamelessly plug but my patd fics are all bottom ryan. it's not much but check it out if you wanna ^_^

☆ ash in your mouth *summary: Ryan just tilts his head, hands behind his back on the table, sweaty hair sticking to his forehead, make-up runny and smudgy, eyes alive, little pearl teeth biting his lips as if he’s holding something back. the end has a little kick to it.

Give Me Envy, Give Me Malice, Give Me Your Attention *summary: The aftermath of Brendon running into Ryan at the 2015 Halloween party.

A Fever You Can't Sweat Out *rycer (implied gsf), summary: Ryan has a strange affinity for sweat. And when I say affinity… sex pollen-esque

Hands Down *summary: Brendon is experimenting, but he doesn't know that Ryan is too.

Out of Tune *this fic is locked so you need an account to read it, summary: Brendon wakes up tone deaf. Ryan has no idea what to do. Maybe sex will fix it?

What We Have Is What We Will Be Given *summary: They finally have a hotel night, and Ryan's got everything planned, even if he's not the one in charge.

☆ No Object *wentzross, ryden switch, summary: The first blowjob Pete gets from Ryan is startlingly mediocre, considering that it's the kid's job.

Fucking like rabbits *summary: Ryan has been desperate for the whole show, Brendon is sweaty and in love, and their last song is a fucking love song. They really were reinventing love right on that stage. stage gay on another level

it's just flesh, it's just flesh *locked fic! summary: Ryan's mouth tastes sort of like the sour candy he got from the vending machine earlier, but mostly it's just hot and wet and warm. this one also has a lil kick! small kick

Drive Faster, Boy *summary: Ryan, Brendon, backseats, secrets.

☆ That Left a Mark *DUBCON (brendon is super drunk) summary: Alcohol initially serves as a stimulant, then induces feelings of relaxation and reduced anxiety. Consumption of two or three drinks in an hour can impair judgment, lower inhibitions, and induce mild euphoria.

An Unlikely Victorian Heroine *locked fic, summary: "You're like a Victorian heroine," Brendon says, rolling one bracelet over Ryan's hand to expose a little more skin, then another and another until he has a small pile on the bed. "Arms aren't supposed to get me so hot, Ross."

☆ How Did I Fall In Love With You? *summary: Bad things happen when Ryan reads fanfiction. i love meta fics like this

You Will Know The Difference When I Touch You *summary: It wasn’t a gay thing at first. Well, it was possible that Brendon had a tiny little crush on Ryan, but it was a buried thing in the back of his still-half-Mormon brain, emerging very slowly.

Two of Cups *the second part is gsf, summary: Spencer and Ryan are part of Pete's travelling circus. Jon and Brendon come for the show, but there's something about the place that keeps them coming back for more.

It must be an alien thing *idk if this counts but its ryan getting girl parts and brendon fucks him and if bden fucks him then yeah hes a bottom idc, summary: “His dick’s missing too,” adds Jon, and if Ryan had lasers in his eyes, Jon Walker would be history right then and there. “And he keeps telling this alien theory, but it can’t be fucking aliens, man. Aliens are too busy doing their shit to give you tits and a pussy.”

☆ Leaving Without Moving *mainly ryden but theres a hint of one-sided rycer from ryan, summary: "I'm not trying to embarrass you or anything here. But seriously, I'm just trying to make things clear - what you want is to be my own personal little toy, is that it? You want to be my pet in the... pet sense?" I HAVE NOOO IDEA HOW IVE NEVER COME ACROSS THIS FIC BEFORE ITS SO GOOD!!

☆ Hard to Believe in Sundays *rywalk, summary: Ryan shouldn't be making out with one of The Academy Is…'s techs in the dusky brown darkness behind his own tour bus where everyone, anyone, could see. Truckstops and Statelines-era. Just. wow the writing and the story are super amazeballs

Candyman *summary: It's a strange and beautiful thing to hate yourself so much you'd let someone else do this to you. Even stranger is trusting them enough to say these things and not mean it. Or mean it and love fuck you anyway. post-split, kinda poetic and angsty

☆ Give me more *read the tags! summary: They called this tough love. 2005, just starting out the band, brendon getting kicked out his house, just a really interesting and well-written fic. couldn't put it down once i started!

☆ Dog Ears, Frozen Lakes and the Resonance of Your Voice *gsf (mainly ryden), summary: The boys go on vacation to a secluded cabin in Switzerland for Christmas. a short sweet and hot fic! ryan just loves his whole band

Bossy *summary: In which Ryan is like, kind of a bitch to be honest, but in a good way. Subby top brendon and dom bottom ryan

☆ We’ll Reinvent Love *brendon bottoms in the last chapter, summary: “He remembers back when he was younger, and he would scrape his elbow, and because he hadn’t yet started these daily screaming matches with his mom, she would place a band-aid over it, ever so gently, and then an even gentler kiss on top of that. And because Ryan looks like his world is one big scraped elbow at the moment, Brendon leans forward and kisses him, butterfly-soft, and pulls away before Ryan gets a chance to do it first.” read this all almost in one shot and it made me slighty crazy… read it, it is SO wonderful

A Little Push *summary: In which Brendon finds out some interesting info about Ryan and acts on it.

[depeshemode]

so i’ve been meaning to make one of these posts anyway to have all my favorite Mike pics in one place. this is the perfect opportunity now, these are for @exsqueezememacaroni thank you again for the Q+A my friend, it really made my whole week.

(not quite all) but most of my favorite Mike pics. ‘favorite’ either because of how he looks in them or bc of the picture itself coming out beautifully. many of these make me smile when i look at them so i hope they have the same effect on you.

[putting it under the cut bc this post came out long haha. i love to talk about Mike whoops]

starting with TRT era: the first pic here idk the context of but for some reason i love the stance with his fists clenched.

second pic… yeah 😆 i love any pic from that particular show, they’re all gems. they definitely have influenced the vampire au a good bit.

^ okay KFAD Mike is one of my favorites. idk what it was about him but he looked extra cuddly to me. a guy you could wrap your arms around and hug for hours. the pic of him in bed i just love so much he looks so cozy.

^^^ and you already know but i LOVE cop Mike during the cali tour…. these two pics in particular live in my head 🫣 vvv

and then there's my favorite Mike, Tomahawk era. i guess more specifically the early 2000s stuff. i love all the costumes he wore, and the crop tops and gas masks... ough. and the THONG picture will forever be a classic.

and the rest below are all from fantomas era and later

this one is my favorite of what i call 'creature mode Mike' vvv

okay THIS picture i love bc of how close it is. i feel like im standing right next to him and could lean forward and give him a kiss on the cheek.

Mike with braids!!

and then there's old man cowboy Mike... obsessed with it, i feel like i walked into a barn and found him sluttily laying on some hay (bonus points for the white tank top with his nips poking through). also the fact that Buzz took this one in particular makes me giggle

and last but not least in any way... this picture of Mike on his knees. he looks sooooo subby here, i think about this one a lot. the way the collar(?) is draped over his head. and the way he's sitting... lord, it makes me wanna crawl across the ceiling.

anyway thanks for coming to my TEDtalk about Mike Patton

[monosanimegenericzone]

yknow what fuck it.

manga speculation time as the october release draws ever closer.

but read it how you want bcs this can be taken in or out of its context.

who can actually handle hisoka in the instance of a 1v1 in the phantom troupe.

hisoka knows the abilities of 7-8 members of the troupe by the time they part ways in yorknew city. four of which are already dead so he knows at least 4 more. information to hisoka is basically like an instant win unless you discombobulate him enough with overcomplicated strategy like Chrollo did.

the only four safe from hisoka's intel are: Bonolenov, Nobunaga*, Kalluto, Feitan.

*Nobunaga is a question mark because we dont know if he has a fully realized hatsu or not. and if he does we dont know if hisoka knows about it or not.

so in order:

Chrollo: YES, I think Chrollo is in more than a good enough position to kill hisoka for a second time. with Contagian running wild and so many assorted nen abilities to choose from, he technically has enough bandwidth to limitless nen abilities. will he do so while hunting for hisoka? that depends on if he gets in contact with team phinks or not. but i think he has a good shot of a round two.

Nobunaga: MAYBE, i think nobunaga is the only one in possession of an ability to cut bungee gum, but i only say that because we've never actually seen anything attempt to cut bungee gum. if he can't then he's most likely fucked XD. this also depends on if he has a hatsu or not because as it stands right now, he's very much not ready for this fight.

Feitan: YES, i think its very likely at least. it's not gray enough to be a maybe, but it's leaning towards the very likely. he just has to endure at least one blow from hisoka and its basically over. but even base feitan has a good shot. he has several tricks in his funky lil umbrella that i doubt hisoka knows about and a lot of speed. on top of all that. there are higher forms of pain packer that hisoka is more than capable of unleashing if he decides to play with his food.

I WANT THAT BOAT OBLITERATED BY A NEUTRON STAR. FORGIVE ME BUT I WANT TO FUCKING SEE IT.

Machi: MAYBE, this one i cant be sure about. hisoka is aware of machi's abilities just as much as she is aware of his. It'll come down to what each has prepared for the other and their respective reaction times. personally im rooting for machi in this fight but who knows.

Kalluto: NO, as he is right now, that's a no if hisoka genuinely tried to kill him. he has a get out of jail free card with Illumi being on the team, but with the way hisoka is right now who knows how much value that has.

Phinks: MAYBE, hisoka knows about kaiten, which is a huge disadvantage for phinks. however, phinks can easily get on par with blows equal to uvo if he has enough set up time. which he may or may not get in this hypothetical. hisoka might just straight up rip his arm off which- who knows if that will actually stop him- is Not Good(tm)

Shalnark: YES, honorable mention because i will not let him go. im coping so hard. Autopilot shal has a good shot, it just might end up with both of them dead instead of just one.

Franklin: NO, with his current set up no. unfortunately guns and long range aren't a good counter to hisoka unless theyve got a hell of a lot of power behind it

Shizuku: NO, shizuku herself said it, i dont gotta say shit. but also yes, she'd have to use gyo through the entire fight just to make sure she isn't grabbed and she'd be stuck on the defensive. Unless he bleeds, then she can stay at maximum range and vampire drain him. but he has a hard counter to that so yeah shizuku solo is very much fucked.

Bonolenov: YES, i disagree with bono on his self analysis. Battle Cantabile is a nen ability i haven't talked about much because it's 100% speculation on my end. but as a music nerd i just have to put this here: i think jupiter is part of a suite.* Therefore, i think bono has seven planets at his disposal and i will elaborate more in another post. that and hisoka doesn't know about his abilities, so he has extra upper hand.

*suite being a form of music composure of multiple movements, usually led with a prologue

I REPEAT. I WANT TO SEE THAT BOAT GO D O W N. I WANT IT SUNK I WANT THAT THING EXPLODED SO BADLY.

Illumi: YES, just because hisoka wants to fight him. illumi is a wild card so i cant say for sure. in a 100% all out fight, they have enough knowledge about each other to understand how each other work.

thats my two cents anyway. in the situation they're in right now, its impossible to tell who would win purely because of the number of eyes on any number of them, therefore a fair 1v1 is out of the question.

i enjoy thinking about these funky fellas and please im coping so hard before togashi inevitably rips my soul to pieces.

[starl1tsky]

ok so. boston gatsby musical. overall? i enjoyed it, had a great time watching it, etc.... HOWEVER. cons first then pros. and then stuff i had mixed feelings on.

a) they took gatsby's teeth out. he was wayyy too nice. also not charismatic enough. like i feel like a gatsby should suck the air out of a room bc you're too busy staring at him. like those gayass vampires from the vampire show. anyway he was dorky and like sweet and shit and im like that is NOT jay gatsby!!!! that is a musical theater mfa.

b) daisy was also a yass queen white feminist instead of like. the ideal that gatsby obsesses over which like ok, fleshing out female characters, wtver, but daisy SUCKS SO HARD like she killed that girl. did daisy buchanan successfully utilize girl power when she vehicular manslaughtered her husband's mistress. also they were leaning so hard into the class thing that it might've been better to like uh idk TALK ABOUT CLASS??? BC DAISY IS ALL ABOUT CLASS SHE IS LITERALLY THE REPRESENTATION OF THE UPPER CLASS?????

b part 2) they also changed it so that daisy actually totally did want to marry gatsby and her mom forced her to marry tom which imo removes a lot of nuance from the story like??? its not a fucking love story????!!! daisy was NOT about to marry gatsby when he was poor like. let's not try to make daisy something she isn't.

c) ok so they basically made it so gatsby was Native American and like pretending to be white and that in and of itself is NOT a con, i think that's an interesting way to deal with the whole new money/reinvention thing. HOWEVER it felt very shoehorned in bc it was literally only mentioned in the last song when gatsby's dad came to bury him. and then the finale was like #landback which is all well and good but again let's maybe try and have one cohesive theme (class tensions) before we try to add things into the final two songs. because that is not the place to add themes.

d) this isn't so much a con as a ???? but jordan??? what the fuck was she doing there. she like was an exposition drop for nick like twice and then she just stood there and had a verse in like two songs and made out with people. the actress was very hot so it was okay but like. what was she doingggggg.

e) i LOVE florence + the machine however. the music was GOOD, objectively speaking but i would have appreciated a little more variety. the tap number was great tho, 10/10. also loved the damage that you do, that was a good one. "what of love and what of god" felt like, a good florence + the machine song but a heavy handed musical theater song like. giving dust and ashes. great song, but jesus christ josh groban calm the fuck down.

PROS:

a) ok i know i said gatsby wasn't charismatic enough BUT. in the meyer wolfsheim number, he was tap dancing and it was INCREDIBLE. so what i think is that they just should have had him dance more, bc the actor was an INCREDIBLE dancer and that would've given him the gatsby charisma and magnetism. so that's a directing/staging issue not an actor issue. like as far as i remember he only properly danced in that one song.

b) i did appreciate how they fleshed out myrtle and her husband, it was very well done and added significantly to the class tension themes of the original novel

b part 2) HOLY SHIT SOLEA PFEIFFER THE WOMAN THAT YOU ARE. also the husband ATE. the two of them were really extraordinary, standout performances.

c) nick was very charming, they did fourth wall break/monologue type things and it worked quite well i thought. he had a great voice, would've loved it if they gave him more to do but...

d) i mentioned this before but GOOD LORD the meyer wolfsheim tap number was fantastic. best part of the whole show imo

e) honestly the tom was very good. like detestable and i wanted to punch him in his face the whole time but. he was quite good. and i said it before but the damage that you do ATE.

f) very sexy. lots of hot people dancing and making out with each other.

ok now things im unsure about.

a) look. nick carraway is a homosexual. you know this; i know this, however, i don't think he's aware enough to be like "yeah i'm fucking gay and in love with gatsby" like he is gay, he is in love with gatsby but like i do not think he knows that. he idolizes gatsby because he doesn't have the vocabulary or the self knowledge to know that he's in love with him. also babe if you know you're gay and you know you'r ein love with gatsby and gatsby is trying to get with you for his first song and a half, WHY ARE YOU HELPING HIM GET WITH THE LOVE OF HIS LIFE WHO HAPPENS TO BE YOUR COUSIN???? make it make sense. but yea i think making nick gay is the right choice and even having him make out with dudes is the right choice and yea maybe he even knows he's gay but i really don't think he knows he's in love with gatsby. and also nick didn't narrate quite enough and when he did he wasn't quite unreliable enough.

basically i just LOVe the great gatsby and while i did enjoy this musical i just didn't like it as much as the book. so i guess my expectations were too high. also i found it ironic and depressing that in a musical where the adapters added so much about modern politics and tried so hard to modernize the politics of the original novel, the ushers STILL managed to be racist to my mother. yay a.r.t!!!!!

[freakywrites]

Helloo! I'm the anon who asked for the ghost headcannons, I loved it! Thank you so so much♡

We love the ghost being a girls girl bcs yess and her just drifting past the sakamakis as if their nothing lmao

I was wondering if you could do headcannons of like each individual sakamaki when they find out that their significant other is from another world and is shifting to see be with and their a bit forgetful so they sometimes forget to shift

If that's okay!

OMG NO WORRIES I’m very forgetful but I do have a story for you! Anyways here is your long waited fic!

Warnings:none

Parings- nb reader x Sakamaki brothers (separately)

Shu

At first, he didn’t think much of you randomly showing up and then disappearing without a trace.

But soon, he would side eye the empty space you would sit at.

He didn’t miss you.. it’s just that your presence has become the norm, and with you gone, the world is a…little restless. He was restless.

But again, you will show up out of nowhere, and he would grumble a “you’re late.”

You would smile and apologize, snuggling close to him as he leaned you his headphones to listen to music. ah yes, this is much better. Again, he didn’t miss you…

he’s just used to you.

Reiji

He pressed the bringe of his nose as he looked at the clock it’s been a month, and yet you haven’t shown up.

To say he was pissed was an understatement he was ENRAGED. How dare you not take account of his time with you?

He tapped his foot waiting, thinking maybe today was the day he got to see you.

He flinched a bit as he felt you hug his side, giggling. “Im back!” You yelled, and he responded with a hard pat of your head and scolding.

“We made you a schedule just for you to ignore it?” He grumbled, and you apologized. “Sorry I guess shifting time is different from regular time.” You said, thinking out loud.

Ayato

What a whiny boy he is constantly sighing at grumbling

Checking the time and marking the calendar.

He would wait at where you last appeared and whisper. “I guess not today.” When you didn’t show up.

Finally, when you did, he could help himself from basically tackling you and bombarding you with questions with mixes of sulking.

“Where have you been? Didn’t I tell you to visit me daily?” He said, frowning, and you nuzzled him “I can’t EVERY day sometimes I forget” you replied, and the vampire pouted “try then!”

Kanato

He was kinda scary when you forgot to visit him.

It was a mix of being clingy and delusionally jealous.

He would mumble to his teddy bear about missing you

It turned into a spiral of missing you to wanting to kill you because their might be a chance that you have another favorite person in your world. How dare you.

So it won’t be a surprise when you visited he threatened your life.

“For the last time Im not two timing you please put the fork down.” You said, and Kanato’s eyes glare. “How am I to know you're not lying?” He question.

“I forget ok! I’m sorry! Look I’ll spend extra time with you today, ok? Promise!” You yelp, and the vampire pouts, looking at a cake next to him before stabbing it aggressively and shoving it in your face with a smile. “Ok! Eat this it’s very sweet! Teddies favorite!” He cheered

Out of all of them, why did you pick this one?

Laito

Like Ayato, he is also rather clingy moaning and groaning about you but not in a whiny way but a princess waiting for her prince way.

He would pay no mind to you being gone, but if it’s too long, he tends to miss you so.

And you’re finally here appearing to him at the side of his bed. “I must be dreaming! If it isn’t my dear love” he said, hugging at your waist, and you hum.

“Sorry I took so long - promise to come back next time!” You said, and Laito pouts and puts on his whiny voice. “Just stay forever! What’s more important than me?” He demanded, hugging you tighter “I can’t do that, you know why!”

He glances up to you before pulling you close to him “then will you at least spend the night?” You nodded and agreed.

Subaru

He is ANGRY very, very angry he gets extra snappy when you aren’t around

picking fights and breaking walls, he was like a hurricane passing the halls.

He would ruffle his hair in frustration when you don’t show up in your designated spot.

He reminds himself he can live without you, so if you think not showing up will make him like you you’re WRONG…

..But oh, when he sees you, he grows weak, but he can’t show you that part of him... Not till you sweet talk him.

“Aw Subaru, please don’t ignore me." You plead as you watch him turn his head to the side. “Where…have you been.” He grumbled.

“Im sorry life’s getting busy- look. I promise not to take too much time next time, ok?” You said, tilting his head to you, his eyes finally looking at you, a twitch of tenderness escape his hard gaze. “Fine…”

——————————————————

A/N

Ngl I had to google what shifting was 😭 it’s basically like lucid dreaming I think? Which is like really cool. It’s kinda short n sweet idk how to make headcannons I kinda write like a book more than a list- tried to keep them mostly in character? Anyways I’m sick! Winter sucks but the cold is so nice.

(P.S I thought I posted this n was scavenging my account thing I might have deleted it accidentally or it got taken down for an odd reason turns out it was stuffed in my 99+ drafts some where forgotten and dusty bc I clicked save instead of post (this happens a lot to me I need to delete some stuff) no longer sick but still am forgetful u.u

Anyways hope you enjoy !

Love y’all XOXO💋💋❤️❤️

[faithlesbian]

ive been holding off on posting this bc ive been formulating my thoughts (also i never post) but since it seems we're having a racism in the buffyverse/fandom moment (should be every moment!) I figured now would be a good time to vent my feelings on the first slayer.

I do a lot of hobbyist research into the stone age its a long running special interest of mine, and ive just finished writing my dissertation on a number of things including primitivism in contemporary culture. so drawing from that i wanted to expand on the tags I left on the previous post, with the clarification that i am white and european and therefore am speaking from that perspective on this subject.

as far as I can remember, the original Buffy movie had flashbacks to the medieval period, with a white medieval woman in these flashbacks implied to be the first slayer. if that's right and I'm not just misremembering, this would tie in to the pop culture associations of this era with catholicism, witch hunts, gothic castles; all of which further ties into popular vampire lore. however, the tv show leans away from this, with vampires being the only demons vulnerable to christian iconography and most of the worldbuilding drawing from multitheistic (not sure if this is the right word) traditions, preferring pantheons of minor gods, demons as folkloric monsters rather than fallen angels, and the existence of multiple hell dimensions.

the way the show does this is often very primitivist, primitivism here meaning the (often harmful) romanticisation of cultures and eras considered "less advanced", interpreting them as therefore more exotic, interesting, or just plain better than modern western society and in doing so flattening them into solely an appealing primitive fantasy.

examples of this can be seen in the foreign and/or dead languages used in magic and demon research, the appropriated eastern and African imagery used in weapons and costumes, the writing of characters like kendra (who's "people" seem to know a lot about the supernatural but are never actually named), jenny calendar (who carries plot-relevant cultural knowledge from her mysticised "people"), and nikki wood, through whose son buffy learns the ancient - primitive - origins of the first slayer.

the choice to relocate the origins of the slayer from medieval europe to (im assuming, since they never specify) paleolithic africa make a lot of sense in context of the shows de-emphasing of christianity in their vampire lore. this would change the slayer from a warrior chosen by the church to fight unholy creatures, to a defender of humanity at large from folkloric monsters. it also makes the slayer line a lot longer, extending far back into human history.

you'd think.

because the problem is im not honestly convinced anyone writing these episodes knows or cares about the accepted findings that show homo sapiens originated in africa, I can't honestly say it comes across that they were trying to imply that the slayer existed before the first waves of human migration by depicting her as they did. i dont actually know if these characters are intended to come from the stone age or just an ambiguous pre-colonial africa and im being very generous by writing this post the way i have. I think they made the very simple connection of "primitive = cool and mysterious" to "black = primitive". the depictions of the first slayer and first watchers are tangibly racist. their treatment by the narrative is tangibly racist.

the first slayer is depicted as animalistic, brutal, and vengeful, but rather than have buffy empathise with her over their shared experience of being used as a tool of violence, the episode has buffy mock and belittle her down to making a joke about her unprofessional hair. the first watchers are set up as the backward patriarchal villains for buffy and willow to overcome by rewriting the terms of the slayer lineage, in both cases black characters are vilified to make white women seem cooler, more self-possessed, more powerful.

it's not just the treatment of individual characters. its fundamental pillars of the lore. non-european (and some minority european) cultures are consistently used to be spooky, occult, and exotic set dressing, while two whole season finales hinge on abject primitivism and antiblackness.

to clarify, i think in another show with a different writing team, the depiction of scientifically accurate (i.e. dark-skinned) early homo sapiens could be achieved in a wholly inoffensive way if these characters were simply written as people. removing the layers of primitivism from the first slayer reveals a traumatised girl who was forced to fight, just like fandom-beloved characters buffy and faith, albeit from a very different time period. but the layers of primitivism are the reason why she was written in the first place. the "primal" is mysterious, spooky, powerful, and therefore makes for good writing without ever having to clarify what it is you mean when you say "primal".

stone age people were not animalistic manifestations of modern-day people's repressed subconscious. they were people. the refusal to see this is another branch from the same root - that the writers see cultures and people outside of the modern west as less-than. but if their language sounds cool for a summoning chant, then they get to be less-than in a ~cool and mysterious~ way, i guess.

[ghoulphile]

here, queer, a lil stoned, and with ghoul rot q/a

do you lean more towards the ghoul be fuckin head cannon or the 200 years of celibacy head cannon? personally i like both but in my opinion post war coop is low key a slut.

if the tv show ever ends up with a season in the commonwealth/goodnieghbor do you think we'd get a live action John Hancock? who's your dream hancock actor? (if you have one)

fav ghoul/coop headcannon?

ps im glad you and your wifey are ok! i really hope yall were able to still enjoy the long weekend!

──★ ˙🍓 ̟

do you lean more towards the ghoul be fuckin head cannon or the 200 years of celibacy head cannon? personally i like both but in my opinion post war coop is low key a slut.

i like both and i def see the thoughts of celibacy (man was in a hole in the ground for some odd years lol) but i do lean more towards him fuckin.

now there's no tender kisses or sweet nothings. just a quick and dirty tumble that leaves you soaked in sweat (maybeeee some regret) as he satisfies urges and nothing more. it would take a whole lot more than that to get him to open up.

if the tv show ever ends up with a season in the commonwealth/goodnieghbor do you think we'd get a live action John Hancock? who's your dream hancock actor? (if you have one)

as much as i would love-love-love to see a live action hancock!!!! i don't know if we will :/

i remember reading somewhere that bethesda has been approached many times to make a live-action fallout and they were never satisfied with the ideas pitched to them.

what made this time around different is that it was a fresh idea set in the same universe which tells me they prefer to have an original story opposed to a re-hash of one that's already been told.

that said, i think it would be amazing to have cameos from the games and i think a lot of people would love it too so i hope they consider throwing us a bone lol.

you know i've never thought about it before, but off the top of my head, i think tom hardy, sam reid or jacob anderson (do not look @ me rn i am going thru it with interview with the vampire ok?!? but they are both fantastic actors), boyd holbrook, james mcavoy or oscar isaac.

there are some others but i cannot for the life of me think of their names rn 💀

any faves for you??

fav ghoul/coop headcannon?

hmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmm 🤔

there’s a lot but ig one of my personal coop hcs (that kind of relates to barb) is that he’s more in love with barb than she is him — not that she doesn’t love him or rather didn’t at one point in time!! but more so she fell out of love with him while he was away at war and by the time he came home, she had already mourned him and moved on. (i.e. the convo where she talks about how she waited every night for news on whether he was alive or not, how she always seems startled by him touching her, how she hesitates to kiss him back etc etc)

and as fallout is based off the 50s divorce was a big no no, so have a baby bc that’ll make everything better (it doesn’t).

another hc attached to that is coop was injured at the battle of anchorage (his talks with bud about the power armor etc also i think i read somewhere that he was honorably discharged too but idk if that’s canon-canon) and was possibly even MIA for a bit which forced her to mourn him and their relationship. only to then be faced with him coming back home very much alive… and she’s not in love with him anymore but can’t leave so she has to make do.

because that man is in love with her so much it’s sickening!!! heart eyes!!! touch is his love language!!! he’s willing and ready to drop everything as soon as he sees her. whereas the first time i was introduced to them as a couple in that scene by the crafts table, and it was revealed that they were married i went oh, he’s into her more than she is him. here he is loving on her and she kind of pauses, hesitates as she decides what to do before ultimately leaning in to give him a quick peck back. and from there on out he’s the one initiating the intimacy. reaching out. and she always seems so thrown off by it when he CLEARLY loves her. idk i’m rambling sorry this got so long lmao.

anywayyyy thank you!! she ended up pinching a nerve in her lower back while riding her motorcycle and couldn’t walk 💀 but the er got her sorted so we were able to relax today 🥰

[llycaons]

okay and here's p2. imagine me walking around going HELLO? HELLO? HELLO? HELLO???

armand isn't in a forgiving mood, which I can understand, but louis IS in excruciating pain so making him apologize NOW, and partially for TRYING TO DIE feels really petty

and now he's talking about selling...dude that's cold

HELLO?

armand. dude. what the fuck. stop torturing daniel to get back at a guy who's like half-dead. I wish this dl had subs bc armand going THIS IS FINE WE'RE ALL FINE is insane

we talk a lot about louis's trauma since the story IS about him but daniel recalling details like what products were being advertised on tv while staring at the cellophane-wrapped neighbor is like extremely horrifying and I don't like his unwarranted hostility and cruelty towards louis but given that experience I can understand his wariness the beginning of s1 better

the off-tune kazoos in the background. really fucky. im so scared

armand torturing someone louis likes in front of him to 'understand'...I guess the gloves are off. at the end of s1 everyone was claiming freaking out and claiming armand was WORSE than lestat which i think is pretty patently untrue but this man. this is real fucked up. I don't understand why louis stayed after this except...what, to make claudia's death not a waste? to have something to do to stave off his suicidiality?

I mean something they do have in common is being really obsessive and controlling over louis's affections/attention

'BARTERING WITH DESIRE IS THAT WHAT MAKES YOU FASCINATING' SAYS THE FORMER SEX SLAVE

daniel says he's good at getting people to open up which is funny because we have rarely seen this skill in the interview here

but ALSO. armand asks this and daniel actually engages, doesn't just yes-man to stay alive

well. a little

*physically and mentally torturing a guy who you're holding captive* DO YOU THINK I'M BORING????

armand's from delhi

'eager black hole' to contrast louis's tearful confusion

daniel's not hunting for the truth, in this moment. what's the point to his question? no point. fuck your boyfriend

oh shit, instead of armand and louis vs. daniel now it's louis and daniel vs. armand. hurry, he's almost back!

the feet in the sand!

one of the podcast groups I listen to is CONVINCED louis and armand want daniel to reveal some secret he apparently has, and that's the entire purpose of this interview and that's what 'we can have him saying what happened next in no time' means. I really don't understand that assumption. it just sounds like they're trying to control the narrative. but the interview structure is upended now. louis is asking daniel - try to remember! try! go back to the chair. what was happening? what was he saying?

it's also so disturbing hearing louis periodically beg for armand to help him from the bedroom. he can't even move on his own! it hurts! and he doesn't have claudia anymore :(

based on what I know about the novel it sounds like they ramped up armand's malice in this episode. oh wait no he goes and does it

you can see his big vampire fang wounds right there too

*leaning over your grievously wounded boyfriend* so why are you still so obsessed with your ex?

ahhh so louis's description of lestat WAS exaggerated compared to what he shared privately with armand. and armand theorizes this is because...he wants lestat to chase after him again? unhinged, but both of them have made poor decisions when it comes to lestat so I'm not surprised by the suggestion

🙄 over armand being like 'ohh im trapping you in ~empathy~ so I guess I'll selflessly leave you to the man you really want as an act of service' as if louis wasn't HALF-DEAD and lestat wasn't his abusive ex OUT FOR BLOOD. more like acts of DISSERVICE amiright

FUCK HE CONTACTED LESTAT????

okay I SQUEALED 'YES IM HERE'!!!!!!!!! BITCH!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! LOUIS IS SAYING NO!!!! WHAT A NIGHTMARE!!!!

'oh hon hon hon louis louis whet hes heppened why hev you injured yerselfff mon cher mon cher' omggggg and armand CANT SAY I LOVE YOU SCREAM

'you left me for death' way to make his suicide attempt about YOU

this is such an insane comment to make and I apologize in advance but this would never happen with wangxian because lwj knows the importance of being selfless and supportive and doesn't take suicide personally. wow such a strong couple 💪actually how funny is it that I'm watching this messy complicated show about toxic relationships between awful immortals and going 'hmm NOT getting a lot of fanfic wangxian vibes from this' like yeah I should read more romance but I simply do not like it! so many of the tropes are boring and played out!!! what's a girl to do!!!

REST

REST

REST

SUDDEN TENDERNESS??? ARMAND?????

ah no. the softness of murder

this speech he gives must be close to what they said to their prey in the theater. he's very good at it. your future is bleak and will be full of regrets. living is hard. do the easy thing instead and die here instead. and I'll take care of you. I'll hold you. rest now. rest

and we know that obviously daniel doesn't die here so it's not so much tension as the somberness and weight of the moment. it's a beautiful scene, and terribly tragic. a murderer - a predator - is convincing his victim - his prey - to give up. to simply stop resisting, and allow himself to be consumed

but daniel has two daughters and a successful career in the current day so we know that's not how this ends. louis again! not asking. maitre and arun. the script is flipped once again. who's really in power in this relationship for long? daniel must live as a testament to our companionship. let him go. so armand does

and what DOES louis see in daniel? is his long-neglected humanity returning? what is he saying to him, in his excruciating pain?

oh my god. reading his own book. he remembered every word. he gave him a lifeline. he gave him a lifeline. because there are stories out there and they need to be told, and daniel is passionate about telling them, his life matters, and he isn't inconsequential. and no matter how his marriages crumbled or his daughters stopped talking to him or his career stalled or his health faltered that was always going to be true. daniel's life mattered, and it mattered that louis saved him that night.

and louis taking on the voice of a god or angel...wow. wow. damn

the precise edit on daniel and louis's memories. of course it's armand. just like the ruler, slicing away the pages of claudia's journal so neatly.

louis's feetsies 🥺 so sweet

louis and daniel vs. armand....louis easy and calm, and armand slightly nervous - what have they been talking about while I was gone? san francisco?

HELLO. I PRESERVE YOUR HAPPINESS WHEN YOU CAN'T???

WHY DOES THAT SOUND SO FAMILIAR?????!!!! HMMMM ARMAND????

[rjschoicesstuff]

For Ripley x Gabe x Cas: Pre relationship 6, General 10, Love 8, Domestic 2

For this one

Thank uuuu

It's gonna be so long im sORRY the cons of a triad lmao, I'm putting it all under the cut!

What was their "flirting stage" like?

For Ripley and Gabe it starts like basically the minute they meet and I love that for them lmaooo, like just immediately constantly complimenting each other and making cheesy flirty jokes and stuff. Ripley is always rly uhh chivalrous, I guess, with girls she likes and it's a form of flirting for her lol. They already have their first date after knowing each other for 2 days 💀 (nothing big tho, they just drove around town but they called it a Date (also their timeline is different from the book)) so like it takes that short for them to straight up just admit like yea I'm very into u and I'd like to see where this goes hahaha 😭😭. It's super unusual for Ripley to be so at ease with someone so fast tho, there's just something about Gabe..

For Ripley and Cas it starts at the party in the woods, though it's not super genuine from either side. I think when Ripley goes into the woods with him after the autumn festival meeting that's where things start to change, tho there's still this weird hostility in the air. Or Ripley implying she'd hurt him and him acting like he'd enjoy that lmao 😭 and that making her feel some type of way lol. Ripley also kinda has the tendency to hint like I like Gabe more so if u want to have a chance u gotta work harder. Which is so shitty of her but she doesn't exactly give a shit about hurting the feelings of the guy who mauled someone right in front of her a few weeks ago lol. I think she just half still thinks theyre both just kidding cuz Cas doesn't seem to think too highly of humans? After the autumn festival is when things rly change and Ripley has her realisation that Cas actually cares a lot about her and also that she's bi and she does like him like That (EWWW) and she kinda just nonverbally shows this to him by giving him a kiss on the cheek when he drops her off. And from there on the lines start getting more blurred.

So like I hc that Cas and Gabe were a couple when they were still human a few decades ago, iirc they're 17 when they get together?? For a while they're just friends, they meet due to being paired for a project at school and keep hanging out after that because they enjoy each others company. I think they slowly fell for each other and Gabriela just starts slowly Hinting at him that she thinks he's cute and stuff, just to see how he reacts and eventually feels confident enough to just confess to him.

And in the present I think as they start getting along again, sometimes they already flirt a bit with each other and as time goes on these moments increase + get less and less subtle (especially once Ripley starts doing this whole 'inviting u guys on dates and not showing up so ur stuck together-thing) I think Gabe is once again definitely more forward.

What are their parallels, whether in their personalities or their histories?

Ripley and Cas and getting bullied rly bad, even down to getting beat up and shaming themselves over that bc they think it makes them 'weak'.

Ripley and Cas' first hunt and killing someone and having Feelings about it though they handle it differently (Ripley is shaken up and hates herself for it, while Cas forces himself into just embracing it. Ignoring feelings of guilt, leaning into the vampires that encourage him and pushing away his humanity even more, rly the start of no longer seeing himself as human).

Ripley and Cas also have v similar taste in clothing and aesthetics and stuff obviously hahah.

Ripley and Gabe and their feelings about no longer being human, being turned against their will, their feelings about not getting to grow up, never getting to be mothers etc.

Do they prefer verbal or physical affection?

I feel like none of them really prefer one or the other more, I do think Cas Needs verbal affection more because he kinda needs that as reassurance sometimes or something?

If they get married, who proposes, and how do they do it? Would they change their surnames?

I think vampires probably don't really get married, but they probably have their own version of it. I think some probably do anyway but I think it's rare?

I think for years Ripley feels weird as hell about the idea of marriage because she just always feels like a 19 year old 'and that's a thing of the future', like she couldn't picture herself having a wedding right now. I think it's something she's a bit bummed about but it's not her biggest gripe with vampirism.

I do think Gabriela is the kinda person who'd have wanted a big wedding with all her friends and family, on a beautiful location, with a big cake and a beautiful dress.. And is definitely upset that isn't in the cards anymore. Tho I think it kinda helps to know that the 3 of them couldn't have gotten married even if they were human cause only 2 people can legally marry each other anyway.

But like I do think it's a thing that comes up a lot when they fantasize about what could've been. So despite her own feelings eventually Ripley takes them to a nice spot and proposes to both Cas and Gabe with rings similar to those pendants she got at the end of book 1. Except the gems are still missing because I imagine instead of containing a gem with her blood only, those would contain a gem with everyone's blood in it.

And they plan out a private ceremony, just between the 3 of them where they all say their vows and everyone's dressed up (Gabe gets her wedding dress lol). It's not what she always imagined but I think it still brings her some peace, in a way it's just make special because they just do their own thing and make it work.

Like it's not a wedding but its like the same idea with just celebrating what they have, how far they've come and showing each other they all belong to each other.

The whole name changing thing isn't really applicable because they all change their names every few decades anyway hahaha. I do think they might keep going by their og names in private tho. I think early on Ripley often thought and paired up her name with theirs and came to the conclusion that Ripley Reese just sounds better than Ripley Harlow or whatever anyway.

[happy-tori-friends]

TWITTER MUSINGS - AGAIN

trying to cut back on twt and maybe move musings to here and to bsky... this features one stupid post from bsky too

i need to start posting notices when i update like ppl wanted kjfdjkdfjkf this happened with bw too, i did it and then i started to forget.

some of these may have been confessed to treetownconfessions at the same time. hi i'm nemmy.

Winter

lifty and shifty push their beds together and huddle for warmth during the nights when the heat in their apartment doesnt work. it doesnt help much. when they move in with splendont, they learn that he has a lot of body heat and with the house being heated and them sleeping with one of them on each side of him, their heads on his chest and cuddled close, they have their first comfortable winter night in years. warm. safe. secure. happy.

Sanguine Thoughts

thinking about vampire oneshot 4 halloween and how lifty and shifty eat a lot of meat and makes their blood rich in iron... waht if that makes it extra yummy for splendont + blood drinking seen as an act of intimacy...

i really like vampires.

+ woozy lifty and/or shifty leaning up against splendont after being drinken from, him making them eat afterwards... i have a lot of thoughts...

:)

i wanna write lifty getting comforted and loved by splendont despite all his insecurities and issues.

i would also like to write all that but [REDACTED]

Warrior Cats

my version of lifty and shifty shouldnt have been forced to steal to survive at 11 years old they should have been reading warrior cats like the rest of us autistic kids

lifty and shifty arguing over who gets to be firestar in their warrior cats larping session. shady, watching them, thinks 'who tf is firestar'

they make him read warrior cats to them before bed and one day he says 'yknow boys *i* should be firestar. i'm your dad' and shifty says 'no way, youre too old you can be purdy!' shady, at most 31 (he and jewel had them between 18-20, pretty young): THE OLD GUY?!

in bed that night 'jewel... i'm not as young as i used to be... i'm an elder now...' jewel pats him and says 'its olay honey theyre kids. their perception of being old is different bc theyre young' 'MY BONES ARE ACHING JEWEL... I NEED THE YOUNGINS TO TAKE CARE OF ME AND BRING FOOD AND GET RID OF THE TICKS'

jewel laughs. 'shady, you're taking this larping business to seriously. go to bed.'

they would assign jewel ferncloud btw

Game

had an idea in my head for the htf chatfic involving a video game but then i pivoted to a different video game (cuphead) but i think the original video game was also hard but IDR WHAT IT WAS AND IM ANGRY ABOUT IT unless it was always cuphead and there was no first game

(i still dont remember)

Donut Earirngs

nutty would go wild for those donut earrings in the new moogle event. notoyo matoyo the 27 year old lalafell will be wearing them whether he likes it or not

i have no idea what notoyo looks like but he probably looks silly. nutty created him with love.

Disorganized

shifty has the energy of that kid taht just shoved all their school shit into their backpack. no folders. so naturally he did the same with his very important tranaformation trinket and has to spend forever digging the watch and crystal out while a monster causes mayhem.

Lifty :D

i love you lifty! yay! your my favorite :D *projects onto him and hos brother and gives him A Lot of Issues.*

Animal Crossing

splendont buys the twins animal crissing new horizons alongsuse switches. he asks them about it. lifty has played the game normally. shifty has not paid the first nook miles debt and has focused entirely on making money.

"you know theres more game if you pay the debt, right?" asks splendont

"there's what" shifty replies, astonished

"you didnt notice me doing more with my game?" lifty asks.

shifty did not for he was too focused on making bells

they co op and splendont and lifty try to give each other tours of their islands but shifty keeps hitting them and the villagers with nets or axes.

Back At The BBQ Musings

lifty who hopes to make a good impression at the very first group gathering he's ever really been into vs food gremlin shifty who eats so much meat he passes the fuck out

YouTuber Shifty

*unregistered hypercam 2, the most laggy and low quality footage ever. the Worst mic quality.*

shifty: hey guys welcome back to my channel today i will be playing minecraft.

*five seconds of footage*

shifty: thanks for watching, part 2 if we get 10 ppl in the $500,000 tier on my patreon

when this doesnt work he starts a content farm or a malicious prank channel

Mother 3

i had this thought when i first concepted their backstory bc i had a very brief earthbound + mother 3 phase but splendont and the twins finish earthbound and he tells them that he hasn't played mother 3 but hes heard good things about and they play the fan translation.

'oh huh they're twins. haha lets name the characters after our family!" says lifty, naming lucas after himself, klaus after shifty, hinawa after their dead mom, and flint after their father who was very much impacted by the death of their mother

35 or so hours of gameplay later, the emotional damage levels are out of this fucking world.

The Worst Sims 4 Save (cq for. vague nsfw mentions)

the other day i made splendont and the twins (and splendid) in the sims 4 with wicked whims installed and also plopped down an old shizaya household i made and had shifty go visit them. he stole 3 things, did not not hit it off great with izaya (but found them both attractive) and then proceeded to mess around on their tablet while they got freaky. shizuo THEN proceeded to start a fire on the grill only for shifty to put it out. then he went home.

shifty also liked to kick the trash can when he got angry (i gave him the hot headed trait) and bc lifty and splendont kept getting playful (listen i ran out of ideas - i gave lifty a custom traits that gave him a constant sad moodlet and another negative one so i replaced that with playful and i gave splendont one that made him playful around his loved ones) so they kept fucking playing in the trash. they were also insatiable (to be fair i had it turned on high a while for the hell of it and was constantly running romantic actions to try and fix relationship satisfaction) but god damn. it was basically either flirty, playful (for lifty and splendont), angry (for shifty), or sad (for lifty, though he sometimes got a fine or tense moodlet). i ended up stopping playing the save file bc it was too hard trying to balance two romantic satisfaction bars and making them stop getting freaky to go to work (shifty was unemployed but dont and lifty had jobs) even tho i was using cheats

getting freaky doesnt really help the satisfaction btw and it just interrupted a lot of my flirting actions so having it on high didnt really work the way i was hoping

Shifty's Hobby

splendont: yknow your brother likes to bowl and do mechanical stuff, or just... make things. like cooking or using his hands or being creative. he plays video games too but do you have hobbies? dont say stealing things. shifty: of course i have fucking hobbies! i... play games +

too sometimes! splendont, snorting: anything else? shifty: of course! what do you take me for? i... i... *cut to shifty with his head in his hands and splendont patting his back* splendont: we'll find you something you like doing, i'm sure.

his hobbies are hating splendid, being annoying (especially towards lifty bc. siblings), and causing problems /j

Surgery (from BSKY!!!)

stupid idea that makes like no sense but popped into my head: fliqpy holding a knife with the text caption of 'giving my boyfriend the surgery he needs! (i dont have a medical license ^_^)' in the background, splendid is laying in a bed with a terrified expression

the ^_^ is super necessary bc it makes it feel so much funnier

FFXIV AU Starting Guilds

whats arguably funny about the twins quitting their starting guilds is that

1. the lvl 15 archer quest is when silvaire stops trying to get the wol expelled from the guild and just doesnt want to really show he accepts their skill. shifty still throws a tantrum n breaks the bow and quits.

2. the level 15 pugilist quest is when hamom reveals he isnt as good as he used to be bc hes old and chuchuto asks the wol to help him regain his passion. and then lifty has to awkwardly tell her that this is Not for him.

FFXIV AU: The Office

splendont looking off to the side like theres a camera and he's on the office after having his first echo vision: i miss my boyfriends chat. i miss them a lot.

y'shtola: *thinking* who the hell is he talking to?

*A FEW EXPANSIONS LATER*

splendont, doing the same thing while also dying of light poisoning: i miss my boyfriends chat

(said boyfriends are mad at him for getting light poisoning and off trying to find a cure)

ardbert: ...do you perhaps mean... me?

FFXIV AU: Gravity

ffxiv au lifty tries to calm down his nerves after getting to mare lamentorum by doing a little jump and then spends a good 5 minutes having a crisis bc it does not have low gravity.

FFXIV AU: Balmung

prequel tweet: i have a really stupid ffxiv au joke to make but it hinges specifically on knowledge that balmung is the sex rp world/server and also me making a random excuse for game mechanics via the aetheryte to be plausible in the isekai setting

*ul'dah aetheryte plaza*

lifty: huh... i think you can travel to different worlds with this thing. ...balmung? i'm gonna go there.

*five minutes later, he teleports back in*

lifty, horrified: Do Not Go To Balmung

shifty: lmao loser it can't be that bad.

*another 5 minutes later*

shifty: Do Not Go To Balmung

splendont: i'm sure it's fine. *another five minutes later*

splendont: ah. nope. Do Not Go To Balmung.

bright volcano: ...huh?

shifty: wait. wait hear me out lets go to balmung... Together.

*an hour passes before they return, disheveled*

splendont: balmung's pretty neat actually

lifty: agreed shifty: fr

bright lava: What The Hell Happened In Balmung

splendont: for us to know and you to not.

im from balmung btw im allowed to make this joke.

Bad HTF x FFXIV Tweets Based On Focus Expansions

got accused of assassinating the sultana bc i picked up a cool bottle and then got dragged into fighting dragons and defeating some old ruler guy! hashtag just lifty things!!!

decided to help free this nation from the empire's rule but we fucked up and now we went to free another country from the same empire and somehow a failef assassination attempt on the empire's prince turned into him being obsessed with fighting me! hashtag just shifty things!!!

got called to another dimension in the world im isekai'd into to stop eternal day by killing light monsters and absorbing the light but it was too much for my body and i almost became a giant world destroying light monster and terrified my bfs! hashtag just splendont things!!!

(the realest thing was after it i just tweeted'this is stupid as a reply. bc it is')

FFXIV AU: WORQOR ZORMOR - The Healer Conundrum

OG THREAD + A BONUS: bad ffxiv au: shifty says something snarky and then gets tankbusted (he is Not a tank)

badder idea: shifty says hell no to healer alisae and instead gives lifty a book and a soul crystal and says 'here you heal'

'how tf did you get this' asks everyone. 'stole it how else,' he responds.

cut to lifty panicking bc he doesn't know how to do SHIT.

lifty staring at the fairy 'please help me we are dying'. the fairy is also confused.

pov: your name is shifty. you, your twin brother, and your shared boyfriend have all been isekai'd into the critically acclaimed mmorpg final fantasy xiv. youve been through a lot of shit and now youre on a journey to help someone claim the throne. you need to climb a mountain which is a dungeon. but the only healer in your group is staying behind. his sister, a red mage, offers to heal for you. she has a healing spell and a revival spell in her kit. you get along well, you even consider her a friend, but she always takes the limit break when it's available and you dont really trust her as a healer. you also stole a soul crystal and weapon for a healing class at some point just because, but you think being healer would be lame and your boyfriend is way too cool to be a healer. all things considered your group technically isnt playing by the games rules considering you have two tanks and normally 4 dps and one healer, but youre down a healer. krile is happy as a pictomancer, and you think having two tanks is really funny so wuk lamat is off the hook. that leaves alisae, aka the red mage who offered to heal, and your brother lifty, a machinist. he has never been a healer, let alone a disciple of magic. do you trust alisae or do you force your brother who has really never casted a spell in his life and has no idea how to be a scholar?

FFXIV AU: Bee My Honey

honey b lovely: what? why isn't your heart pounding! why aren't you charmed by me?

lifty, a homosexual: Men

FFXIV AU: G'raha Tia

bad ffxiv au idea. g'raha thinks he has a chance w one of the twins bc he knows splendont is dating one of them but he doesn't know which. what he doesn't know is that its both. its a v poly. hes dating them both. what he ALSO doesnt know is that he has a cute lizard gf in an alternative universe. and in many other universes, other partners. he is beloved.

krile: what's wrong raha?

g'raha: i thought one of the warriors of light was single bc two of them are twins but it turns out theyre both dating the other warrior of light and he's a hinge apparently.

krile: ...you didnt know?

g'raha: .

(THIS IS TOTALLY PROBABLY OOC BY THE WAY DONT TAKE THIS SERIOISLY)

FFXIV AU: Shaaloni

5 seconds after entering shaaloani

shifty: alright pinhead, your time is up!

lifty: im not fucking doing the bit.

erenville: ???

splendont, with all the love and adoration he feels for the two in his eyes: dont question it man, he's just screwing around.

[daechwitatamic]

i canNOT stop thinking about of ruin so here is a collection of questions and musings:

1) are the vampire fangs retractable? i.e., do they come out when hunting or all they always there? (i.e., should i be imagining prince tae with little teeths poking into his lip all the time?)

2) does prince taehyung know what an egg mcmuffin is? i can't stop imagining an ending where he renounces infracticus or something and goes to live a human life with oc in her world, and she needs to teach him about all the mundane human things. i want to know what he thinks about the stanley cup craze.

3) we saw in the last chapter or so that he is thinking about her as his preferred marriage candidate. is it (bordering?) love for him yet or is it still more of an obligatory "i have to do this and she's better than my other options" thing? (drabbles from his pov would be INCREDIBLE if you do wind up being up for it)

4) i can't stop thinking about how absolutely mind blowing the s*x is going to be once it happens. i just know that their magical energy is gonna sync up in some crazy ass way 😫

ok that's all for now byeeeeee <3 <3 <3

ok every single one of these spoils a future chapter so we need one of these read mores~

they do fully retract! often they'll come out without necessarily meaning to when an infracti is feeling either threatened or victorious; kind of like a tooth boner when it senses a heightened emotion. this is addressed a bit in chapter 16, but prince tae is not walking around with teefies poking out

Not yet but he does know about a lot of human food bc blood food mimicks real dishes, so maybe he knows about the concept of breakfast sammies? but now i'm imagining him trying to describe specifically the egg mcmuffin to the magician/chefs who make his blood food. "It's like... a somehow simultaneously stale and soggy english muffin with flavorless 'egg' disc and a slice of melty 'cheese product' slapped on and its better with ketchup" them: ............ reader: i'll bring u one so u can see it.

oh he LOVES her. i think he loved her from the ritual in chapter 8 honestly, even if he didn't have a word for it yet. that's HIS little witch. more on this in chapter 11 :)

SO im gonna say that... when there is sex, which there is in ch 13 lol, i leaned into the vampire aspect more than the magic aspect so now i feel like i should add an extra scene lmao

[zalrb]

I was reading your metas on klaus and, do you think part of the reason Klaus doesn't come off as a 1000 year old vampire is bc JoMo wasn't right for the role and doesn't really bring the ruthlessness Klaus is supposed to have? I've seen your posts ab how the writing doesn't make them insane enough for 1000 year old vamps but would you say JoMo's portrayal is part of that?

Also, semi related, im assuming you think Katherine should've also been way more unhinged for the same reasons so I was wondering how you would've tweaked her character

mmm...well it wasn't necessarily that they had to be unhinged, it was that they could be this

or because of TVD's own mythology it could be this

so for me it was either Klaus had to have a certain amount of gravitas and authority or the vampires who the show said were highly emotional creatures

had to make them highly emotional creatures. So my thing was either you had to go this route where they feel less because they would feel too much and there is no humanity switch, that's just how these creatures are

or lean into them make them unhinged.

In terms of JoMo, no he doesn't embody the gravitas of a 1000 year old vampire, I could at least say I'd have believed Daniel if the writing was better.

In terms of Katherine, I just spoke about how she didn't emulate what the show wanted

[deepdarkdelights]

Hey lovely, Perfection was such a good fic!! The ending was amazing!! I really enjoy reading for Jin and this did not disappoint! He fits the vampire concept so well

Also I think I missed the poll 😭 but those 2 fics sound amazing already, though I'm leaning more towards the 1800's AU fic. I'm a sucker for anything historical and I know you will kill it as usual 😭💙

(yesss I hope you always continue to bless us with ur works and deliver great stories. I always come back to read your works bc im in love with everything u write)

Hi dear!

I agree, Jin really does fit the vampire concept so well. His age-defying beautiful face may have something to do with it 😂

Oh yeah, the poll was a whole event. Like people were panicking with voting because they wanted one fic so badly and then BOOM a tie! What a time! If anything, that does make me confident that both fics are good!

Also, thank you so much for your kind words - I really do appreciate them! I want to keep writing good fics for you to read 💜

[cinnamoodles]

hiii could i get a 🍓 [ strawberry dreams ] with the golden trio/marauders era? (im cool w either haha)

personality wise i’d say im pretty sarcastic, i love joking around n making the people around me laugh! i’d say im pretty funny 😅 i can be kind of short tempered but i try my best to keep that under control! other than that i would say i’m pretty laid back and the type to go with the flow. i’m always down to try something new! i can be pretty impulsive (i have 9 piercings that i got on impulse to prove that haha) and i love learning about topics i’m interested in. sometimes i hyper fixate on something and go down a deep rabbit hole

appearance wise im quite tall (5’8) with black hair that reaches past my shoulders and dark eyes. i have rlly pale skin (my friends call me a vampire) and my personal sense of style is a mixture of 90s & y2k grunge (and grandpa sweaters). i have a couple tattoos that arent visible.

im a scorpio, slytherin (sometimes i get ravenclaw), and either an intp or entp (im leaning more towards entp tbh)

i like to read and annotate books, watch films and completely dissect them, the colour green, and silver jewelry (i am not a gold girly). i would say my second fav colour is red! i think my fav subjects r english or philosophy.

i think thats all! thanks!!!

thank you for ordering from the cafe!

i ship you with…

sirius black!

— he’s obsessed with your tattoos omg? constantly admiring them and kissing them (no matter where they are heehee) and tracing them for fun and while cuddling

— impulsive duo supreme like who let you guys be together?? always doing the WILDEST shit and everyone else is like ‘yep that’s them 24/7’ and it is actually hilarious and super fun

— we all know sirius is a big reader so he and you would read muggle books to discuss them but god he looks so hot when he’s nerdy so these book club meetings usually end up in making out. it’s kind of an inside joke between the marauders at this point when it’s time for book club yk?

— constantly stealing sirius’ sweaters and jackets but he doesn’t mind bc you look cuter in his clothes anyway, but he sometimes returns the favor, and since he’s so tall, it’ll usually end up as a crop top on him (you don’t mind either)

— sirius being kind of skittish about getting his first piercing? he was so calm about the tattoo but he was squealing at the needle that pierced his ear (consensually ofc) and you’re calming him down because all he wants in the end is cuddles.