#i think if ppl took the time to think logically/rationally instead of being chronically online and being obsessed with having the “correct”

[drevmnotnap]

i will gladly air my thoughts about the drituation Thank You /gen, i’m an adult & a csa survivor for reference on where this perspective is coming from

i left the fandom and don’t really feel ok consuming dream content anymore but for me it isn’t so much about the drituation itself ? it’s about the bullshit i saw from the community in response to it, plus october was so difficult that i just have a hard time seeing any of it

honestly it was some of the mindsets i saw starting to take hold through the community that scared me and pissed me off. i saw people use phrases like “she’s not acting like a victim,” “how do you not realize you’re being groomed until someone tells you?? the math ain’t mathing,” etc. people started poking holes in every piece of her story and background, and watching a perfect victim narrative get spread around felt like a punch in the gut. people even said things along the lines of “guys come on, can dream be a predator? we’re talking about the guy who does the gay run in the rain and uses bath bombs.” like you couldn’t name a million endearing things that any confirmed predator has probably done in their life. the idea that you could use any of those arbitrary things to determine who is or is not a safe person is just…dangerous

sorry this turned out so long yikes i just . have so many thoughts about the lengths the fandom went and the people they hurt along the way. not the whole fandom of course, not even most of it- but enough to make it hard to go back

firstly, i’m really sorry for everything you must have seen— some of the reactions were definitely more than a little icky, for a variety of reasons, and i know there’s no way seeing any of that could be easy.

personally, just to be clear, i don’t think the messages/interactions were indicative of grooming. it’s (at worst, imo) irresponsible, maybe inappropriate considering the specific circumstances, on dream’s part, but famous people having romantic/sexual relationships with fans isn’t exactly unheard of, and i think, in general, there’s a stark difference between grooming and other predatory behavior, and dream’s actions and interactions.

that being said, the community’s reaction (from what i’ve been told + what i’ve taken the time to seek out) was... yeah, it wasn’t pretty. obviously there were people who went straight to “he’s a groomer he needs to be deplatformed” which i don’t think is an accurate view to have (considering what grooming is and the facts we know or can assume/infer to be true), but there was also a shocking number of people who immediately dismissed the claims and even some who did make jokes about it, and that comes off as incredibly insensitive. of course, most reactions were immediate, emotional responses, which explains a lot, but it doesn’t erase how harmful and insensitive it was to survivors/victims. and, yes, saying “how can he be a groomer, he’s so [insert reasons]” is dangerous— it furthers the mindset that people you believe to be innocent and harmless can’t be horrible people, which isn’t always the case, and that mindset is a big reason why so many victims’ stories go unheard and un-believed. i’m not saying it fully applies here (as dream isn’t a groomer/predator), but it does raise concerns about that kind of stuff in the long-run and the bigger picture.

it’s honestly really complicated— especially when it comes to dream— because we can’t just take everything at face value. there are people out there who absolutely would make a false accusation just for the purpose of accusing him and tearing him down. that doesn’t mean, however, that all allegations should be immediately dismissed, especially with an accusation as serious as grooming, and that’s what a lot of people tried to do in the immediate aftermath. i think the most logical course of action would’ve been to assume that amanda’s story was true (or parts of it were, as claimed by dream, correct me if i’m wrong), and then come to realize that it wasn’t grooming and/or predatory from there, instead of trying to deny its validity right off the bat by making jokes or by trying to find holes in her story. i know a lot of the reactions were formed around big-name blogs who then reacted negatively— red, hari, dwtupdates on twt, etc.— and that caused misinformation and “dream is a groomer!”s to spread, so that explains some of it, but yeah it’s still really complicated.

anyway, to close this out, it’s totally valid of you to have left! i know i only stayed because, well, i have a lot of fun here and i genuinely do enjoy dream’s (+ dteam’s) content, but i don’t blame or judge anyone for leaving. unless they’re one of the people who switched up drastically and started saying they hate dream + he’s ugly + his music sucks + kaceytrn was on the right side of history + all the other shit out there, but that’s a very different conversation.