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kfyre · 1 year

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Greetings my fellow Murikans! 🤙🏻

If elected, I will campaign for the following:

👍🏻 Before any negotiations, participants will be encouraged to pass the peace pipe (or vape or hookah) or something of ceremonial significance (even just cbd gummies).

👍🏻 All Street lamps will have speakers to play music, Bluetooth jukebox and aux, and houses will be acoustically and seismically retrofitted

👍🏻 All plants legal, all synthetic drugs heavily criminalized. Even deferral programs will be in-patient only. Howver, all prisoners will be required to work and not meaningless labor. As far as say tobacco, no chemicals, gmos, cfcs, etc, w an emphasis on supporting local growers. People would have the option otherwise but be heavily taxed.

👍🏻 Cars will have the option of being equipped with shock absorbant bumpers with express bumper car lanes to drive recklessly in a hurry

👍🏻 As will be noted, there will be a lot of upgrades to build. I want jobs jobs and more jobs, even for teens with parental consent, and I want locally made or sourced products in a small but free market. Small because too many of one product causes confusion for the average consumer who doesn't know which of the 35 light bulbs he should buy, as well as promoting invention towards new designs and technological innovations.

👍🏻 Basically life necessities (toothpaste, tampons, toilet paper, etc.) will be av all day, but needles, narcam, pipes, etc., will be closely monitored by social workers in connection with the court system directly (and not the police) to connect them with treatment and help before being referred to deferrals.

👍🏻 Soft open Monday and early release Friday

👍🏻 In fact, while everyone will be required to work (max 30hrs) and community service (max ten hrs), Overtime will be discouraged. There will be job boards and volunteer boards (no min, even 30 mins is fine). But in kind, companies should strive to make vertical promotions available for those who excel. And, in turn, those individuals should aim for larger conglomerates or leadership positions. Quality of work over quantity in order to build character, harness skills, whilst training people to think outside the box.

👍🏻 Instead of being forced to take American holidays off paid, people can choose which set of religious, spiritual, national, or secular holidays they ascribe to

👍🏻 Main streets will have escalator sidewalks

👍🏻 Dance is mandatory class, along with essential life classes such taxes, driving, living will, and medical directives

👍🏻 No large businesses will be given permits unless ⅔ of the town is small businesses

👍🏻 Jobs will be given a priority over housing to strengthen and rebuild the middle class instead of catering to the homeless

👍🏻 Food banks and soup kitchens will be open 24/7, regulated by an ID system, but the impoverished will not be forced to eat healthy. Popcorn chick and chick wings will be available all night to everyone within reason. To that end, I will establish a committee to figure out how to mandate fruits n veggies with every meal, without an exorbinate tax. I want to give people legitimate choices and not mortons fork.

👍🏻 There will be moderate taxes, perhaps tax season will be quarterly to match with business revenue, but citizens will be allowed to choose where their taxes go.

👍🏻 Leagalize medical prostitution. I believe this will lower shootings caused by incels, assist those who are unable disabled or differently abled, boost happiness morale and wellbeing, and lower prostate cancer which has been linked to sexual inactivity, in addition to regulation of the industry, providing jobs, boosting taxes, and eradicating the stigma. (In my humble opinion, sterotypes bias stigmas and prejudice should be reserved to those who adamantly refuse to be productive yet the possess the means)

👍🏻 Instead of legalist signs and warnings posted everywhere, poems and like a chapter of dostoyevsky or the Rebbe.

👍🏻 Get rid of the a in Murika

👍🏻 Nation anthem is we are the champions or I wanna break free by queen

👍🏻 Kiosk to locate ride sharing apps, bikes, scooters, cars, shuttles, muni, bart, samstran, gg transit, caltrain, taxi, flywheel, cable cars, limos, private rentals, greyhound, amtrak, airport vans, Marin airporter, transmetro, genentech, bigbus, health shuttles, ambulance, ferry, sfo and oak flights, etc., indoors like at 711 with the option to pay credit, debit, cash, apple pay, Samsung pay, gpay, bitcoin, homeless vouchers, or convert currency. Live chat too.

👍🏻 Every citizen will be entitled to one free slap (not a punch) a year, anytime and everywhere, and in accordance with the 14th amend due process clause, one will have to give notice. When youve used your one free slap, the slapper and the slappee will register it in the county records. Otherwise all fighting will be in heavily regulated arenas and perhaps a civilian warrant system that so-and-so is called out to square up and their yay/nay will be so duly noted.

👍🏻 One day a week, randomly decided 24 hrs in advance, from mon to Fri, electricity will be banned save for that which is necessary to sustain life and passive electricity such as alarms to police, fire, and hospitals. There will be beat cops (or a team such as caseworkers and crisis responders) but no invasion of privacy. Every violation will be a 100$ (subject to hardship discounts) and will be 100% invested into a charitable organization or public works such as roads or schools, of your choosing as with all taxes. Businesses which sell hot food will be encouraged to make fire or sell cold wraps.

👍🏻 No business will be forced to close after a certain hour and bars will have citizen patrols to safely intervene if necessary.

👍🏻 There will be mental health time off (even just a few hours or minutes) and free counselors will be available all day (even if only phone or zoom)

👍🏻 I believe employers should encourage a commission system prioritizing sales or productivity over hours. This would allow employers to set their hours, obviously in juxtaposition of the business, and take time for personal needs such as appointments, mental health, pregnancy, graduation, and other major life necessities.

👍🏻 Patrons of restaurants would be encouraged to give suggestions to the waiter. If the waiter refuses bc the request is unreasonable, the patron could appeal to the chef. If the chef can make it, the restaurant has the option to choose the light punishment such as a public shaming like throwing tomato's, spinning a wheel, easy hazing, wearing a silly hat, etc.

👍🏻 As can be thematically guessed, I want every citizen to not only have their voice heard, but to give everyone a forum everywhere and I will promote such. I will have free coffee and light pastries at town hall meetings. Legislative assembliez will be accompanied by dancing afterwards. Board meets will have Foosball tables and darts. Drinking beer during Skype meetings will not be discouraged. No matter how stupid your idea may sound, I want everyone to speak their mind.

👍🏻 Local governance will not be held in traditional republic democracy giving people a hobson's choice, but rather Democratic Confederalism in a parliamentary setting. Every political party will have a chair - and not a hegemony of chairs - for their respective representative to promote and facilitate new ideas.

👍🏻 Using the tax boom, I will adopt a local Sistema Único de Saúde, incentivizing patients to orient their taxes towards hospitals to increase quality care and lower wait times for machines and such. There would also be religious health care sharing ministries for doctors and patients who are firm believers in their respective faith and want only the care practiced by their tenets.

👍🏻 While I don't support a welfare state, I do want caseworkers available who are knowledgeable of city, state, and federal programs that supplement income such as EDD UI, EBT foodies/SNAP/Calfresh, TANF, IHSS (for taking care of children, seniors, disabled), EBB, ACP, SSI, SSDI, AFDC, CDB or DAC, ABLE, IDA, EITC, free city (here in san francisco) and Pell, head start, medicaid or Medicare (I got a PACT HAP card), CHIP, calworks, WIC, §8 & HUD, market match/health bucks/double dollars/double up, food banks and summer meal services, LIHEAP, ERAP, FCC Lifeline, PACE, NADSA, CalCAPA, SFMNP, USDA ARPA, CalHFA FHA loan, EFAP, HEAP, ECIP, COBRA, CLCA insurance, CPUC's AMP or Capp, Cash Assistance Program for Immigrants (CAPI), EECLP, BIA FASS, SRECs, Refugee Cash Assistance (RCA), not to mention countless private organizations. I mean, there is literally a tax credit for installing energy-efficient windows, skylights, doors or other qualifying items in 2022, in addition to obvious ones like the Child and Dependent Care Credit. In turn, I want to foster small businesses and give large corporations difficulties in obtains permits and leases. This is how you redistribute the wealth without going full Che guevera.

👍🏻 Water fountains will have a gatoraid option.

🎇🫡🇺🇸✨🏛️🥇⚾🌭🍻🤠🚜🍔🏈🗽🎰🌉

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rotationalsymmetry · 4 years

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Me: *searches for “us presidential election*

my search engine: yes I have lots of NEWS about the election.

Me: understandable mistake, but actually I was looking for confirmation that this thing works the way I think it does.

There’s some misinformation going around. So, let me talk a bit about how the US presidential elections work.

There’s this thing called the Electoral College. Each state gets a number of delegates equal exactly to the number of senators plus the number of representatives in the House of Representatives that each state has. Each state gets two senators, and the number of congressional representatives is proportional to their population, except that each state has at least one even if they would otherwise have too low a population for one representative.

(In theory delegates *might* not vote for who they’re supposed to vote for, but in practice they almost always do, and it’s really a vote for the candidate that goes through this outdated rigamarole that doesn’t really make sense any more. I don’t even mean not just doing a popular vote, I mean having actual people as delegates. Most people have no idea who their actual delegates are and don’t care.)

Voting via this electoral college thing rather than having a direct popular election for president, has always meant that states with smaller populations have more weight, proportionally, than states with larger populations. Always from the very beginning. (Because of having one delegate per senator.) This got more extreme when the number of people per congressional representative got adjusted, leading there to be both a discrepancy due to the two “senator” delegates plus the “representative” delegates sometimes representing fewer people in lower population states. Basically, states with large urban centers are underrepresented, and states like Wyoming that don’t have large urban centers are proportionally overrepresented.

But also, “swing states” (states that might go either way) get the vast majority of campaign attention. So, really a small number of states that have relatively even numbers of Democratic and Republican voters get the most attention and catering to, and states that are definitely going to go one way or the other get less. And, within those swing states, cities get more attention than rural areas, because it’s easy to reach a lot of voters by having a rally or town hall meeting or w/e in a city, and hard to reach a lot of voters in more rural areas.*

This is not even getting into the influence of money on presidential election campaigns, which is huge. I’m not trying to ignore it, I’m just not sure what to say about it.

Within each state, it used to be that the delegates were chosen by the state legislatures (it was assumed your average joe citizen would be more informed about local politicians than national ones; clearly that assumption did not stand the test of time.) But now all states use the popular vote to determine electors. (All stated but Maine and Nebraska have all their delegates vote for one candidate based on the winner of the popular vote; Maine and Nebraska do things a little differently and can split their delegates’ votes. From here on out I’m going to be talking about the other 48 states.)

There’s no “some counties get more weight than others”; within each state every vote is the same. The discrepancies happen at the state level: some states get more delegates relative to their population than others. And that’s why it’s possible for a candidate to win the popular vote and lose the election. But within a state, how voting districts are divided up is completely irrelevant for the presidential election.

Gerrymandering applies to other elections. Not the presidential election.

I suppose it might be hard to let that concept sink in if you’re working on the assumption that the presidential election is the only one that really matters. Sigh.

So if you see a state where 51% of the votes went for Trump or whatever, that literally means 51% of the people who were eligible to vote and actually voted, voted for Trump. No weird shenanigans. Just a statewide popular vote.

The shenanigans come in with voter suppression. Purging voter roles under the guise of catching voter fraud. Voter ID laws. Hours long lines due to insufficient polling places. Not letting people convicted of felonies vote. Insufficient accessability for disabled people. Devastating communities to the extent that people are in survival mode and drop voting because they’ve got more urgent issues to deal with. At least formerly (?), (rigged) literacy tests and poll taxes (with grandfather clauses.) (The key word if this doesn’t sound familiar and you want to look into this further is “Jim Crow laws” or just “Jim Crow.”)

And: excessive barriers to legal immigration and gaining citizenship, especially when those barriers are higher for people coming from certain countries, of certain races, etc than others. And disabled people and generally people expected to not earn as much and/or need more government assistance.

And, voter intimidation: threats of violence, maybe more subtle stuff idk.

There’s also things that might not be voter suppression in the sense of being done deliberately, but which make it harder for people to vote whether done deliberately or not. For instance, needing a residential address to vote can make it challenging for homeless people to vote, whether anyone’s actively trying to keep homeless people as a category from voting or not. (Although. I mean. There’s no reason that couldn’t be on purpose? Eh.) Difficulty accessing childcare. (I guess the point is, sometimes it’s hard to tell what’s intentional voter suppression and what’s just not making the effort to include everyone.)

*basically, if the electoral college is meant to correct for urban/rural power imbalances, it maybe doesn’t do that great a job of it. Plus, the Constitution doesn’t protect any other minority or vulnerable group in that way. This might have made a little bit of sense back in the day when people (/white male property owners, ie the people who could actually vote) identified more as a Virginian or a New Yorker than as an American. “State” is another word for “country” after all, and the role of state governments vs federal government and which people identify most with have shifted dramatically over time. But I don’t think that’s been the case for a long time now, and realistically any given person in New York City probably has more in common with someone in San Francisco than either person does with someone in upstate New York or California’s Central Valley, and vice versa. Even without getting into other ways people might affiliate, like race and gender and disability and class and occupation and immigrant status and religion.)

An argument against the popular vote that I’ve heard is that if the election was extremely close, doing a recount for the entire US would be an absolute nightmare. I’m not sure that’s a hard and fast reason to not switch to a popular vote, but it’s something to consider.

Realistically in practice, mostly whether people are for or against abolishing the electoral college has more to do with whether you want Democrats or Republicans to win, since a popular vote would be better for Democrats, and not about which is theoretically better.

#political #us politics #civics lesson #us election 2020 #us presidential election 2020 #voter suppression #gerrymandering #long post #very long post #I can’t believe I wrote this why

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shop-korea · 2 years

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AMAZON.COM - PRIME - MEMBERSHIP - LUV - U -

LOTS - OF - NAVY - AMAZON -

PRIME - VANS - EVEN - GIRL -

DRIVERS - GOT MINE - AT 1P -

BUT - EASTER - SUNDAY - TO -

COME - BACK - AFTER - 3P EDT -

WENT - AND - TOMORROW YES -

AFTER - 9A - 'FINE' - GOT - IT XO -

WITH - FLORIDA STATE - ID AND -

SAID - YES - TO - 'GENERAL - DELIVERY' - 'YES - MA'M' - I -

GOT - MY - AMAZON - PACKAGES - 2 - OF - THEM - HIDING - TAF YES - APPROVED - FOLDABLE - SCISSORS - HIDDEN - 10 -

CLEAR - MASKS - THUS -

CHAPMAN - PARTNERSHIP -

RELIGIOUS - 60 DAYS - OR -

LESS - HOMELESS SHELTER -

'THEY - SEIZE - HOMELESS 4 -

TITHES - OFFERINGS - TRUE -

DONATIONS' - GOING - 2 B -

HOMELESS - AGAIN - SLEEPING -

AT - BUS S - COLLINS AVE - 24/7 -

DISCOUNT - MONTH - (+$56) -

TRAINS - BUSES - OTHERWISE -

DISCOUNT - FARE - EASY - CARD - 4 - DISABLED - PLASTIC - ($112) -

OR - (+$125) - CHANGING - FLORIDA - STATE - ID - $25 -

ONLINE - $2 - FEE - 2 WEEKS -

CHANGE - OF - ADDRESS - IS -

FREE - AT - GO - 2 - LINE - ASK -

1550 N MIAMI AVE

MIAMI FL 33136-2015

COUNTY - MIAMI-DADE

TAXES - 7.000%

MAILING ADDRESS - NEW -

500 NW 2ND AVE

MIAMI FL 33101-0105

PERMANENT - MOVE

AMAZON.COM - PRIME -

ADDITIONAL - INSTRUCTIONS -

GENERAL - DELIVERY

US POST - OFFICE

MODIVCARE - NEW - TEL - ONLY -

4 - SUNSHINE - HEALTH - OF - FL -

TOLL - FREE - EXCELLENT HAVE -

CONFIRM - NO - GIVE - 2 HRS - IN -

CLINIC - PRIME - CARE - FAMILY -

DOCTOR - THEY - CHOSE - LYFT -

YOUNG - DRIVERS - JUST - POSE -

NO - OPENING - OF - WINDOWS FL - GPS - SMARTPHONE - R SIDE OF - DRIVER - THEY - TEXT - T-MOBILE - ON - TIME - AND - REPLACEMENT - JUST 5 MIN -

AND - FREE - GIVE - $2 TIPS -

WILL - DO - 4 - MEDICAL -

APPOINTMENT - YOU'RE -

TIRED - FR - BLOOD WORKS -

TIRED - FR - HEART - XRAYS -

BLOOD WORKS - NO EATING -

FR - MIDNIGHT - LOTS OF COLD -

WATER - EVIAN - NATURAL SPRING - WATER - HERE DO -

NOT - OPEN - NON-ALCOHOL -

DRINKS - OR - NOT ALLOWED -

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TORTURE - OF - FAMILIES KIDS -

TINS - ADULTS - SENIORS - YES -

ADULT - AGES - USING - THIS -

ADDRESS - BECAUSE - LIVED -

HERE - 4 - MY - FLORIDA STATE -

ID - OR - CAN'T - GET DISCOUNT -

MAJOR - BIG - USING - 1550 YES -

N MIAMI AVE - CVS - PHARMACY - DOESN'T - ACCEPT - NEW - MEDICAID - AGENT - SUNSHINE - HEALTH - BUT - PUBLIX - DOES - SO - SINCE - SO - FAST - 4 - CVS -

I WAS - COUGHING - TAX - FREE -

(+$19) - 14 DAYS - HOLD - NOT 2 - BAD - EDGE - OF - BISCAYNE BLVD - NEXT - IS - MY - T-MOBILE - MY -

KNIGHT - AND - SHINING ARMOUR - FRONT - OF - BAYFRONT - MARKETPLACE - LOBSTER SANDWICH - AND - SALAD - ALL - OVER - $20 - EACH - LOOSER FREE - BATHROOMS - TRUE

CORRECT - ADDRESS -

CVS PHARMACY

200 BISCAYNE BLVD

MIAMI FL 33132-2219

STORE - OPEN - 24 HRS

U - WANT - YELLOW TAG

SALES - CVS - CARD - IS -

COOL - BUT - PHARMACY -

BUSINESS HRS

M - F 10A - 8P

S 10 - 5P

THUS - HOMELESS - AGAIN -

HERE - 2 - FINISH - ALL - I NEED -

MEDICALLY - NEW - FLORIDA ID -

STATE - MIAMI - DADE - COUNTY -

ADDRESS - WHERE - I - LIVE YES -

EVEN - A - BUSINESS - ADDRESS -

THEY - THINK - WE - LIVE - IN YES

WENDY's - TORTURE - CRUEL - US

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egyptroyal · 5 years

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BOLD all that apply.

Rose ‘RMT’ Tyler

Sibling(s): Sister(s) | Brother(s) | None | Other

Tagged by: @intergalacticxmisfits Tagging: anyone else who sees this and would like to do it!

[under the cut isn’t part of this meme, i’m just explaining further on starred words]

skin * - i’m not sure because in some films, she’s medium and others, she’s dark skinned and another is medium-dark. this also goes with television shows as well. it all comes down to the coloring of the show/film and how old it is.

gender * - bad wolf doesn’t even have a body, it’s just a genderless space entity....so, i took that into account.

species ** - werewolf because, like, does the bad wolf entity count as a wolf?? like she turned into the bad wolf so like? that should count? because of the bad wolf entity, in some respect, it’s an alien as well as a mutant because it requires a host and that host just so happen to be rose... plus, it counts as a necromancer because otherwise javic ‘capt. jack harkness’ thane would have been hella dead... so there you go.

education * - canonicallyjust for this version of rose, she got her university/master’s degree in the alternate pete’s world on her earth... got get that degree.

i’ve been * - bullied by cassandra counts right? also jimmy stone? yeah. mentally abused also relates back to the bad wolf entity...because rose could have died....so, that counts. as far as being shot goes, i count the anne ‘anne robo-son’ droid as someone that shot her. the physically tortured bit was from this doctor who ninth doctor comic where rose woke up and was pregnant with some random alien’s baby without her consent and she quite realistically freak the fuck out....so that counts...right?

positive traits * - [to cassandra about the new skin, laughing] so you’re talking of your a- [cassandra interrupts] Ask not! was humorous af.

negative traits * - see School Reunion with Sarah Jane and Journey’s End when first seeing Martha. it’s small and quick but it’s there.

living situation * - if living with her doctor counts as a significant other, than yeah. otherwise, she’s a drifter.

relationship status * - with her doctor....it’s complicated but, eventually, they do that. otherwise with everyone else, it’s verse dependent.

i have a(n) * - traveling with the doctor and all that shit that she had witnessed both in comics and television and audios, it would be a shock if she didn’t. i would say its secondhand (because it’s the doctor’s trama that they’re reliving but also holy shit it’s now your trauma as well like !!!) but like, it also isn’t. that’s a lot of war to just get over. a lot of time to really think back on it and realize that you could have died at any fucking moment. and like jackie says in fear ‘ Im gonna get killed by a christmas tree!. like that’s funny, yes, but also HOLY SHIT THIS IS TRAUMATISING AF. like i would never buy a christmas tree ever again. you can’t forget that. something like that really stick with you. also now everytime i see the words ptsd, i keep hearing luke alvez telling a discheveled, ready-to-fight spencer that spencer has ptss like it’s just ingrained now. just that scene....

Things I’ve done before * - killing daleks counts. everything else is past events with rose before the doctor and after.

#c: dame shiver #er: headcanon #{rmt gave depth}#er: longpost

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coffeeselfies · 10 years

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This is technically the “I think I need coffee,” selfie, but it’s been so long since I’ve posted that I figured anything was better than nothing.

I’m still trying to sleep through the inspiration of a very wonderful Bob Goff.

I. love. him.

But on to darker things, like my not-so-distant past!

Hahaha. So I was looking for an old assignment I e-mailed myself, and instead found a bunch of cryptic-heavy things I had texted one of my rarely used e-mails from my phone.

So of course I’m going to put them together, here, since I will probably just lose them otherwise. And because everyone on the internet loves reading the things I e-mail to, well, myself (WAIT, DO I NOT HAVE FRIENDS, WHAT IS MY LIFE). :p

4/12/12 - A veces no quiero hablar Por Nada con mis amigos. Solamente, "Hoy me dice ,estas loca, pero le esta loco a Juan!" Y mas Nada. Yo quiero hablar about cosas lejas. Ayer y Hoy hable con jean y veronika, solamente small talk primer. Pero despues, yo decido hablar about the things which I was.actually thinking about lately, the deeper layers. My thoughts were kind of awkward. Random. But I'm so glad I did, it lead to such good convos! As if, although my own thoughts or specific revelation (another one about love, of course), but led to true, sincere convos from the heart. Yes! Thank you, Lord. It's funny how I won't open up and ill get frustrated at the lack of depth in a conversation, yet really all I need to do in some cases is just jump right into the true issues. Ahh small talk kills me.

3/4/12 - He asked us a few questions: Who are you using?

How are you using them?

Physically. Sexually. Emotionally. Spiritually. Monetarily.

How can you restore that? Who's using you? Do you love money, and use people?

Or do you love people, and use money?

5/9/12 I think my id and superego are in conflict... I prefer that psychological term to saying that right vs wrong or my flesh is in rebellion, I guess. I just want to do all sorts of things that aren't of God, and i don't even know what to do. I think I need to just remember that life is short, and not about what I want. I'm getting too caught up in the worldly details, my visions going, my path, every time I think I'm expanding it, is getting more and more limited. Goodnight, from post Dave n busters with cartel, post umsl, going to school tmrw.

5/17/12 - "Can you keep a secret?" I should have realized by now that this question should be answered with fear and heaviness rather than curiosity.

5/29/12 - I dreamt that, after they thought I had left, my parents started fighting. Loudly, viciously, hatefully. I came down shouting, 'stop it, stop it!!' But their heads were already covered in blood, as I'd they were going to kill eachother. I never found out if they stopped or not, because dad called to me in real life from the other room. At first I wondered if I had really been shouting, and that's why he had contacted me, but no, it was just about bulk trash being today. Something sounds like its gnawing on something, I can hear and feel the vibrations of it through my pillow. Creepy.

6/4/12 - I have always been a compassionate person – making little houses for wounded snakes and worms – befriending the kid who’s got no one but himself for company, partnering with the girl who doesn’t really speak English. As I’ve gotten older, I’ve recognized that God has been faithful in granting me patience, mercy, and grace as well, and I know that these are not my own, but I am meant to share them with the very people God has give me a heart for – the downtrodden, broken, and outcast, and ultimately just humanity in general. This has, more or less, been my (more recent) life pursuit. To follow God’s Will for my life, regardless of where it takes me. So far that has meant giving hope to weary and often lost travelers of Amsterdam, mentoring at risk juveniles and raising awareness for human trafficking in Los Angeles, running English and Summer-School programs for Chinese immigrants in New York City, training and creating jobs for families in Haiti, as well as hosting events and creating opportunities for girls to leave brothels , learning how to run a business in Mexico while also helping out at various orphanages for disabled Children, and even just being there for my own family and friends when they’ve needed it most. It has meant months of Ministry Training schools, years of living in International Community Houses, working in roles that range from administration, to construction, to managerial, and an ever growing reliance on and relationship with Jesus Christ.I’ve been back in Saint Louis for a year now,

7/1/12 - Today started strangely, my head still a little blurry from the wine from the night before. I went to church, very late, where daren had a cupcake waiting for me. Why? Because Tuesday I had admitted I had experienced some downer bdays and he realized that it was my half birthday. Mom came, cried, we hugged, went to the church picnic.. I went home, told dad about her accident, and he just started weeping, so hard that his nose began to.bleed. I stroked his hair and.got a bit teary eyed.and then we got.on our knees and prayed... Later was feeling down and missing Luke, but jean got me out.

11/11/12 - And with your hands in the air, your feet barely touching ground, I take that smile to mean that life is finally turning 'round. And we laugh til we cry and we dance til we cant, and I feel free as can be each time I see that gleam in your eye. Then the secrets come out and its less about being blessed and more about a high. So when you're dancing I'm wondering if that's you, and when you're singing, I know you would be singing.the blues... But that gleam in your eye, well really its more of a glaze all along, I just saw what I wanted as you,strung me along.

12/20/12 -

Well the queens off her throne Hiding in a stairwell Feet strewn about the stairs Seeming barely aware That her kingdom awaits The king, divorced long ago He's crying Where's his iron fist? Seems he's traded it for sentiment "Pathetic!" He might self accuse If only his tears would let him Seems everything's a dream these days, Some hellish, some sweet But all

I used to find the idea of receiving a text in the middle of the night strange.

Now, after years of practice, I find it comforting, perhaps a reminder that I am not so alone as I would feel.

I hadn't realized this, of course, until now.

Now, when I wake up to nothing but darkness and my own thoughts.

Now, when, regardless of whether I toss myself awake at 2am or 4am, there is no message.

There's nothing to reassure me that there's another person in this world who is awake and eager to share a moment, even a small, electronic message with me.

1/11/13 - Today Gave my testimony. Adopt a block, played ninja. Eva likes hanging out with Christians. I break rules and have real convos with the disciples. Play bs. Go to angelus temple. Do food distribution. Met hosea who talked to us because he thought I was pretty, was super catholic, thought tim was my bf, etc etc etc

1/29/13 - Oh hi, I'm feeling cold and pathetic, and thought I would ... Email myself. That seems fitting. Somehow emailing yourself feels much more pathetic than just journaling. Right now I feel like I wish anyone, absolutely anyone , would sit down across from me. Even the old creepy man who, after asking a few non essential questions, left me for the warmth of the indoors, or... I don't know, a donut. Why do I feel like this.Lord? Is it because I am not so busy in school? Is it because Adam moved and despite the fact that I was barely hanging out with him last semester anyway, he was a crutch, and knowing that at 1am when I feel pathetic and lonely and confused, I can't even text someone I know would care? I mean. I know others would care. But we aren't exactly on that level just yet. What is my life? Why am I this way, and why do I want attention for it? Or why do I feel the need to find someone who would , what, save me ? From myself.? From my thoughts? Why am I seeking comfort in shallow things, the wings of friends and acquaintences and , frick, anything. Whywhywhywhy. I don't know. Is this what life is like for people? Lord, you are the one God, the only thing worth it, you are good when no one else is, am I getting caught up in things that I shouldn't, what am I even going on about? Life life life. It's all good, right

2/13/13 - (From a voice to text translator)

tomorrow I'm supposed to have an awkward cuddling session with my love scene manager and a love my phone from church I'm not sure how I get myself into these awkward situations but I definitely am good at it office tomorrow my uncle is moving in for a month but should be really awkward and I wish that I had a lock on my door and the house I'm learning that the things that I desire to have a find myself feeling empty when I do get them but I'm happy about it because it gets me clarity because it shows me that nothing else really matters is just kind of in my head really got the only thing that matters is the only thing I should pursue S I miss Adam I know you won't hang out that much before you left but now I guess I'm missing him double I don't know I don't know what I mean exactly but he's been gone a few weeks now and it's weird not having a best friend to talk to you about everything I have a lot of friends I have a lot of good friends but this is different it is different when you have someone who knows so much about you already and you don't have to tell the back story every time you tell them a new story because I already know who so I'm so is or why you feel that way or white was a bad idea that you did that so I'm also giving up ice cream and I'll call for lunch and I'm going to be time to eat a lot better subject tomorrow hopefully that I've also really just been wanting to be free of employment just live and everyday wake up and say what I want to do without help homeless people if I want to make something I want to sell another day love you babe I wanna go out with a friend I make my card I definitely don't want to spend 5 shifts a week at cartel but at the same time I don't feel like I'm self disciplined enough to not have a job I'm just getting tired of the creepers and the internet the kids off work as well as yeah I don't know ent from my HTC on the Now Network from Sprint!

8/18/13 -

Woke up really missing my dad. Go figure. Able to properly seduce emotions into a flat, shruggable denial ever since those first few days, and now, on the day I hoped to "stay strong" the most, I can't stop thinking of part of the song he wrote for Rachel, only now in regards to him - "I miss you, in the summertime.. I miss you, in the wintertime.. I miss you - all the time. I love my Rachel Sue." Only.. Daddy-o, or something. Ahhh.. Thank you, Lord, for such a kind father. Please help today glorify your name, run smoothly.. its so obvious we can't do it without you.

8/19/13 - I miss my dad. I am sad that I'll never have him burst in my room in November at three am with pancakes and lit birthday candles because he started thinking about some of the birthdays of mine he had missed, and wanted us to be able to celebrate together. I can't drink milk or even look at rootbeer without hearing him ask for some, so eagerly, and then sigh 'mmmm, now that's good,' so contentedly after his first sip. I miss that his crazy stories are not going to be things that I share in everyday conversation with my friends, because they're all old stories and it will seem out of place. who do i have to talk to about my dad? no one. it makes everyone sad. theres no one to just share his life with, aside from close family, and that will be limited. Everyone keeps telling me I'm so strong. What does that mean?I'm strong because I didn't start sobbing when I spoke? Because I'm smiling and laughing with you? Is that strength or disposition? Blake said that I was handling this better than anyone he's ever seen deal with death. What does that mean?

12/13/13

I see a sadness in your eyes.Behind the words, another message.The weight of your world becomes tangible, heavy, a thickness that weights me like a fog rolling in with, strapping invisible bricks to my body. Sometimes it's your words, blatant and straightforward, other times it's the sighs, the eyes that flash with emotion for just a moment, Did you know that's been seen? So many words, how can they be contained? I hear things you've never said, I see

1/03/14-

I've tried reflecting on 2013.. tried finding words which could somehow, miraculously encapsulate all of the growth, struggle, joy, depression, transformation, and experiences that it contained. It will be one of the most memorable years of my life, for many reasons, but it may also be one of those years that the full impact of may be lost on me for awhile now.In the past few weeks, I've been looking through journals, photos, and letters, remembering and realizing exactly how many changes this year has brought. Led my first missions trip, felt the loss of saying goodbye to one of my best friends, discovered what living with not just my dad, but my uncle Ken, five chickens, two cats, two ducks, a dog, and whoever else decided to stay over was like, became the missions director at middletree church, became an AUNT to the most beautiful little Emelia Skye, gained a new set of amazing and wonderful friends, played nurse/daughter/friend/staff member/sister/maid/hopsicecare/barista/student/leader to the point of confused identity and exhaustion, left cartel to become part of the Caife Caife family, DIDN'T leave the country for the first time in yeaaaaars, actually had to turn down exciting travel/jobs, speaking opportunities, and a leadership position with a non-profit (rather than seek them out, like usual), spent 7 months of the year experiencing the beauty, hardship, and love of caring someone who is dying in more and more ways every day, the trauma and release of my dad's actual death, the months following that are nothing but fog, sorrow, and blurred memories, the 14-state family road trip of a lifetime, moving to the Loop with Dani, experiencing being 'home for the holidays' without any actual family to be home with, and .. I don't know.. the Sara of today, who can look back on things only a year ago and find I have a whole new perspective on them. ..I only wrote one public (well, as public as it can be when I have a total of 8, predominately inactive followers) blog post in 2013, mostly talking about overcoming fear to become the person I feel I'm called to be. It was mostly inspired by revelations from the LA Dream Center trip, and I can't tell you how nice it is to be able to look back on the goals and dreams I wanted so desperately to become a reality, and to be able to say that, even through all the changes and sorrow of this year, that they were able to come to fruition. I'm not in to new years resolutions, but I do highly recommend kickstarting your year with an inspiring, transformative experience, which can set the trajectory for how you are going to live, what goals you will meet or fall short of (but still come closer to, which is still GROWTH, something to celebrate!) in the coming adventure of 2014. No matter what 2013 held, don't let fear of who you were just last month keep you from being who you want to be tomorrow. This little blog post is nice for me to re-read, because it reminds me of my fears, and what overcoming them, even one step at a time, can lead to. 2013 was a hard year for me, but it has also brought me to exactly where I feel I'm supposed to be right now.

1/29/14 - "I'm good" I wore the reassuring words like a blanket. Cover, no, smother whatever was beneath, within. Protect yourself from the cold, vulnerable words might slip thru the holes in the blanket... exposed means they can feel temperature of your meaning. Heavy, heat from the heart. you can feel their response. Pray for a warm touch, but there's always risk of icicle daggers

2/19/14

it's just that

I have a lot of thoughts

ideas, fears, ..a lot of places that I'd like to explore

But they feel so heavy when it's just me and them

feels like there’s a lot of trees to climb before i get to the clouds

and I'd like to share them with someone

who cares about them just as much as I do,

someone with just as much to risk,

who understands each side of the story.

And sometimes, I see planets in those eyes,

but have no rocketship to get me there

And I see that depth, but there's just no way to tap in

Im searching for someone to explore with

those infinite galaxies in your mind and mine.

Someone to make sense of it,

write poetry about it

but not get so caught up that it's just us - no

Always God first.

Always seeking his planets, his stars, his truth..

and maybe that's the adventure..

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marlaluster · 8 years

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https://m.facebook.com/story.php?story_fbid=278870225870794&id=100012434566027&notif_t=like&notif_id=1490063220686722&ref=m_notif To support a money free, resource based society/economy. I'm too attacked presently by the present way of things, which I would wish this to stop right away but presently attack is too central as a way to order things. I signed this, i am a bit discouraged because I wished it to be available to have more options money free n i don't really know if this means I'll be segregated out. I would wish there to already to be something now. I am without a home now n i have felt very threatened by homelessness. "I don't know what to do that I did this, right. I have to do different things but I don't like that i go this far but I don't know what to do. I'm doing something now. I don't know what to do I have to stop. I'm making some noise come through that isn't possible. I have to stop, do you know why. I have to go," the devil said. It is worrying that it is doing the noise. I hear someone's voicemail. https://portal.hud.gov/hudportal/HUD?src=/states/virginia/renting I'm in a bad situation now where I'm homeless. But I need help w something that otherwise I would support or maybe try to put more effort into working toward maybe. I need housing. I don't experience the same reality as is recognized here as real. I have tried to get help lots of times for stuff going very wrong for me w the everyday organization of things. It used to work for me somewhat, but I still had trouble surviving as who n how i am here. I think everyone should have available to be able to survive n try to make a life for themselves as who n how they are in the world they are born into. That means, ie according to what I'm saying, no one should be homeless. Please help me have a way to live, ie have housing without having to rely on money, ie I don't want housing that can be maneuvered into being taken away. Something keeps doing stuff to make things go wrong for me n it leaves the present order of things unreliable for me. Furthermore I wish not homelessness or people to be treated as they are presently here: forced to work, forced to have other conditions that are bad, like poverty n abusive homes. I experience something doing things -- it's doing something as i write here, it's making noise audible that is not possible to be audible, people speaking in another unit in a place I am -- that are not acknowledged here as real. Maybe I can get a voucher, or I can get help w a free tiny home or I can get some kind of just beginning of people/places having some availability or support (like politically or organizationally, just the support of others w a common vision n goal for things to be better n that -- things being better -- is "pay" that's better than the dollar) to offer free housing. I am presently having trouble finding a place to live. Something makes it up that I have something on my credit. "I make it up. Hi. I'm not to be going on here. I try to do things so the person has to leave but I can't do some of the things i do. Do you want to support this. They can maybe support this," the devil said in my mind, i hear others, too, other times. "Marla just said something. We need things to make sense before we back them, enforce them. A person not paying his rent is not wrong if he says this isn't okay. Thats what she said. Someone. Marla agrees. She uses disability pay, Marla does, but this person needed something more. No. This. Um the person we're referring to, she is not who can not end the world. She says it's less than here," the devil said in my mind. The devil was talking about someone who was not paying rent someplace n the person renting the house took the person to court. I was recently put out of a place, it was totally crazy n just out of control, it was very poor communication of what was happening. The devilis upset I'm telling this, it's threatening me w more attack, like making it so i can't get my things from the place I was put out from. I get disability here. I am diagnosed as having a condition where i supposedly experience things considered not real, but only some cultures describe it this way. Thats what it said once n may still say on Wikipedia. It's called schizophrenia, what I supposedly have. In my opinion, I can be "cured" by having a more natural way of life where I'm not ruled, ie nothing is in charge other than humanity n human kindness. I believe humans are not evil or less than or wrong or broken. I don't see this present "reality" or way of life w the money system as the natural way of life n i wish support or availability or freedom to live what I feel I need n what I feel is right n appropriate, etc. It does disturb me that others are not getting the freedom to not participate in the government or order here presently that I feel is wrong. Presently the case is that they will be homeless or will face homelessness if they don't participate at a certain level or at all. Please stop this. This is not allowing for freedom of religion or right to protest or for life that is delivered unto the earth to be n live n exist. I'm struggling to survive here as who n how i am. Please help offer options for people to not participate in the present way of life w the money system. I call this order of things devil world. I'm treated as a bit not normal n etc., but it's simple people should have freedom to choose another way of life other than the present one as offered like by the government where people are forced to work or be poor or homeless or otherwise too ruled by money. Please help. Sincerely, Marla Rose Luster Dear HUD, I'm in a bad situation now where I'm homeless. But I need help w something that otherwise I would support or maybe try to put more effort into working toward maybe. I need housing. I don't experience the same reality as is recognized here as real. I have tried (n have yet been unable) to get help lots of times for stuff going very wrong for me w the everyday organization of things. It used to work for me somewhat, but I still had trouble surviving as who n how i am here. I think everyone should have available to be able to survive n try to make a life for themselves as who n how they are in the world they are born into. That means, ie according to what I'm saying, no one should be homeless. Please help me have a way to live, ie have housing without having to rely on money, ie I don't want housing that can be maneuvered into being taken away. Something keeps doing stuff to make things go wrong for me n it leaves the present order of things unreliable for me. Furthermore I wish not homelessness or for people to be treated as they are presently here: forced to work, forced to have other conditions that are bad, like poverty n abusive n restrictive homes. I experience something doing things -- it's doing something as i write here, it's making noise audible that is not possible to be audible, people speaking in another unit in a place I am -- that are not acknowledged here as real. Maybe I can get a voucher, or I can get help w a free tiny home or I can get some kind of just beginning of people/places having some availability or support (like politically or organizationally, just the support of others w a common vision n goal for things to be better n that -- things being better -- is "pay" that's better than the dollar) to offer free housing. I am presently having trouble finding a place to live. Something makes it up that I have something on my credit. "I make it up. Hi. I'm not to be going on here. I try to do things so the person has to leave but I can't do some of the things i do. Do you want to support this. They can maybe support this," the devil said in my mind, i hear others talking, too, other times. "Marla just said something. We need things to make sense before we back them, enforce them. A person not paying his rent is not wrong if he says this isn't okay. Thats what she said. Someone. Marla agrees. She uses disability pay, Marla does, but this person needed something more. No. This. Um the person we're referring to, she is not who can not end the world. She says it's less than here," the devil said in my mind. The devil was talking about someone who was not paying rent someplace n the person renting the house took the person to court. I was recently put out of a place, it was totally crazy n just out of control, it was very poor communication to me of what was happening. The devil is upset I'm telling this, it's threatening me w more attack, like making it so i can't get my things from the place I was put out from. I get disability here. I am diagnosed as having a condition where i supposedly experience things considered not real, but only some cultures describe it this way. That's what it said once n may still say on Wikipedia. It's called schizophrenia, what I supposedly have. In my opinion, I can be "cured" by having a more natural way of life where I'm not ruled by--, or rather, nothing is in charge other than humanity n human kindness. I believe humans are not evil or less than or wrong or broken. I don't see this present "reality" or way of life w the money system as the natural way of life n i wish support or availability or freedom to live what I feel I need n what I feel is right n appropriate, etc. It does disturb me that others are not getting the freedom to not participate in the government or order here presently that I feel is wrong. Presently the case is that they will be homeless or will face homelessness if they don't participate at a certain level or at all. Please stop this. This is not allowing for freedom of religion or right to protest or for life that is delivered unto the earth to be n live n exist. I'm struggling to survive here as who n how i am. Please help offer options for people to not participate in the present way of life w the money system. I call this order of things devil world. I'm treated as a bit not normal n etc., but it's simple people should have freedom to choose another way of life other than the present one as offered like by the government where people are forced to work or be poor or homeless or otherwise too ruled by money, ie something other than themselves. Please help. Sincerely, Marla Rose Luster [email protected] I don't know if "budget n spending" is what i really wish to choose. Its not. I wish for things to start to not be ruled by money, but instead by ends people wish to gain like a better way of life, freedom n for people to be treated well. My experience -- people are not yet able to recognize it as how i am aware it really is to them, which is real -- is that this reality is not real. People didn't make this, ie the money system or poverty or jail. Something else did it somehow. Its a strange thing, its not evil but it does stuff that people really don't want n that it says it doesn't want. The "thing" is the devil n i can hear it in my mind. Also this reality is not real because people here are not really present in their bodies as they appear, nor are people really meant to occur as so many people, in other words each person has many selves but here they are split apart instead of occurring together. Really they represent different aspects of the human personality n are not meant to be so separate as people are here. Also the world is selves of my soul mates, these split selves, i mean. But I wish for housing to be free, in other words I wish for people to be able to survive here as those who wish another way of life n who disagree w the way of things, the money system. I'm very attacked now by things present here n bring used by the thing I referred to as ordering this reality. But people should be free not to participate in things that are wrong like jail, poverty, homelessness, fees n fines n force. These are like tools used in this government n people are forced to participate. If they don't they face homelessness. This is wrong n people should be able to opt out because this should be over, this reality, ie way of life. But it's halted from being stopped by people because they can't not participate. There is something else, too. People are not really present, as i said, n the thing that can be called the devil that I refer to here, it makes it so people are continuing to do things that people wouldn't do. But it does use that people are forced to participate here, the representation of people is. "I do use that. Um I gotta go. He will help you, right," the devil said. I am presently needing help w housing, other things. I wanted to forward an email I sent earlier to some recipients to try to help get it available to have freedom housing for people to opt out n exercise freedom of religion n i said their right to protest. Here's the message, i sent it primarily to HUD: Dear HUD, I'm in a bad situation now where I'm homeless. But I need help w something that otherwise I would support or maybe try to put more effort into working toward maybe. I need housing. I don't experience the same reality as is recognized here as real. I have tried (n have yet been unable) to get help lots of times for stuff going very wrong for me w the everyday organization of things. It used to work for me somewhat, but I still had trouble surviving as who n how i am here. I think everyone should have available to be able to survive n try to make a life for themselves as who n how they are in the world they are born into. That means, ie according to what I'm saying, no one should be homeless. Please help me have a way to live, ie have housing without having to rely on money, ie I don't want housing that can be maneuvered into being taken away. Something keeps doing stuff to make things go wrong for me n it leaves the present order of things unreliable for me. Furthermore I wish not homelessness or for people to be treated as they are presently here: forced to work, forced to have other conditions that are bad, like poverty n abusive n restrictive homes. I experience something doing things -- it's doing something as i write here, it's making noise audible that is not possible to be audible, people speaking in another unit in a place I am -- that are not acknowledged here as real. Maybe I can get a voucher, or I can get help w a free tiny home or I can get some kind of just beginning of people/places having some availability or support (like politically or organizationally, just the support of others w a common vision n goal for things to be better n that -- things being better -- is "pay" that's better than the dollar) to offer free housing. I am presently having trouble finding a place to live. Something makes it up that I have something on my credit. "I make it up. Hi. I'm not to be going on here. I try to do things so the person has to leave but I can't do some of the things i do. Do you want to support this. They can maybe support this," the devil said in my mind, i hear others talking, too, other times. "Marla just said something. We need things to make sense before we back them, enforce them. A person not paying his rent is not wrong if he says this isn't okay. Thats what she said. Someone. Marla agrees. She uses disability pay, Marla does, but this person needed something more. No. This. Um the person we're referring to, she is not who can not end the world. She says it's less than here," the devil said in my mind. The devil was talking about someone who was not paying rent someplace n the person renting the house took the person to court. I was recently put out of a place, it was totally crazy n just out of control, it was very poor communication to me of what was happening. The devil is upset I'm telling this, it's threatening me w more attack, like making it so i can't get my things from the place I was put out from. I get disability here. I am diagnosed as having a condition where i supposedly experience things considered not real, but only some cultures describe it this way. That's what it said once n may still say on Wikipedia. It's called schizophrenia, what I supposedly have. In my opinion, I can be "cured" by having a more natural way of life where I'm not ruled by--, or rather, nothing is in charge other than humanity n human kindness. I believe humans are not evil or less than or wrong or broken. I don't see this present "reality" or way of life w the money system as the natural way of life n i wish support or availability or freedom to live what I feel I need n what I feel is right n appropriate, etc. It does disturb me that others are not getting the freedom to not participate in the government or order here presently that I feel is wrong. Presently the case is that they will be homeless or will face homelessness if they don't participate at a certain level or at all. Please stop this. This is not allowing for freedom of religion or right to protest or for life that is delivered unto the earth to be n live n exist. I'm struggling to survive here as who n how i am. Please help offer options for people to not participate in the present way of life w the money system. I call this order of things devil world. I'm treated as a bit not normal n etc., but it's simple people should have freedom to choose another way of life other than the present one as offered like by the government where people are forced to work or be poor or homeless or otherwise too ruled by money, ie something other than themselves. Please help. Sincerely, Marla Rose Luster Dear Paul Ryan, I don't know if "budget n spending" is what i really wish to choose as the "issue" I had to classify the topic as. Its not really the topic or issue. I wish for things to start to not be ruled by money, but instead by ends people wish to gain like a better way of life, freedom n for people to be treated well. My experience -- people are not yet able to recognize it as how i am aware it really is to them, which is real -- is that this reality is not real. People didn't make this, ie the money system or poverty or jail. Something else did it somehow. It's a strange thing, its not evil but it does stuff that people really don't want n that it says it doesn't want. The "thing" is the devil n i can hear it in my mind. Also this reality is not real because people here are not really present in their bodies as they appear, nor are people really meant to occur as so many people, in other words each person has many selves but here they are split apart instead of occurring together. Really they represent different aspects of the human personality n are not meant to be so separate as people are here into different people. Also the world population is all selves of my soul mates, these split selves, i mean. You're one of my soul mates, i do talk to you in my mind at times. But I wish for housing to be free, in other words I wish for people to be able to survive here as those who wish another way of life n who disagree w the way of things, the money system. I'm very attacked now by things/institutions present here n being used by the thing (the devil) I referred to as ordering this reality. But people should be free to not participate in things that are wrong like jail, poverty, homelessness, fees n fines n force. These are like tools used in this government n people are forced to participate. If they don't they face homelessness. This is wrong n people should be able to opt out because this should be over, this reality, ie this government, this way of life. But it's halted from being stopped by people because they can't not participate. There is something else, too. People are not really present, as i said, n the thing that can be called the devil that I refer to here, it makes it so people are continuing to do things that people wouldn't do. But it does use that people are forced to participate here, the representation of people is. "I do use that. Um I gotta go. He will help you, right," the devil said in my mind as i wrote this. I am presently needing help w housing, other things. I wanted to forward to you an email I sent earlier to some recipients to try to help get it available to have freed housing for people to opt out n exercise freedom of religion n, i said, their right to protest. Here's the message, i sent it primarily to HUD: Dear HUD, I'm in a bad situation now where I'm homeless. But I need help w something that otherwise I would support or maybe try to put more effort into working toward maybe. I need housing. I don't experience the same reality as is recognized here as real. I have tried (n have yet been unable) to get help lots of times for stuff going very wrong for me w the everyday organization of things. It used to work for me somewhat, but I still had trouble surviving as who n how i am here. I think everyone should have available to be able to survive n try to make a life for themselves as who n how they are in the world they are born into. That means, ie according to what I'm saying, no one should be homeless. Please help me have a way to live, ie have housing without having to rely on money, ie I don't want housing that can be maneuvered into being taken away. Something keeps doing stuff to make things go wrong for me n it leaves the present order of things unreliable for me. Furthermore I wish not homelessness or for people to be treated as they are presently here: forced to work, forced to have other conditions that are bad, like poverty n abusive n restrictive homes. I experience something doing things -- it's doing something as i write here, it's making noise audible that is not possible to be audible, people speaking in another unit in a place I am -- that are not acknowledged here as real. Maybe I can get a voucher, or I can get help w a free tiny home or I can get some kind of just beginning of people/places having some availability or support (like politically or organizationally, just the support of others w a common vision n goal for things to be better n that -- things being better -- is "pay" that's better than the dollar) to offer free housing. I am presently having trouble finding a place to live. Something makes it up that I have something on my credit. "I make it up. Hi. I'm not to be going on here. I try to do things so the person has to leave but I can't do some of the things i do. Do you want to support this. They can maybe support this," the devil said in my mind, i hear others talking, too, other times. "Marla just said something. We need things to make sense before we back them, enforce them. A person not paying his rent is not wrong if he says this isn't okay. Thats what she said. Someone. Marla agrees. She uses disability pay, Marla does, but this person needed something more. No. This. Um the person we're referring to, she is not who can not end the world. She says it's less than here," the devil said in my mind. The devil was talking about someone who was not paying rent someplace n the person renting the house took the person to court. I was recently put out of a place, it was totally crazy n just out of control, it was very poor communication to me of what was happening. The devil is upset I'm telling this, it's threatening me w more attack, like making it so i can't get my things from the place I was put out from. I get disability here. I am diagnosed as having a condition where i supposedly experience things considered not real, but only some cultures describe it this way. That's what it said once n may still say on Wikipedia. It's called schizophrenia, what I supposedly have. In my opinion, I can be "cured" by having a more natural way of life where I'm not ruled by--, or rather, nothing is in charge other than humanity n human kindness. I believe humans are not evil or less than or wrong or broken. I don't see this present "reality" or way of life w the money system as the natural way of life n i wish support or availability or freedom to live what I feel I need n what I feel is right n appropriate, etc. It does disturb me that others are not getting the freedom to not participate in the government or order here presently that I feel is wrong. Presently the case is that they will be homeless or will face homelessness if they don't participate at a certain level or at all. Please stop this. This is not allowing for freedom of religion or right to protest or for life that is delivered unto the earth to be n live n exist. I'm struggling to survive here as who n how i am. Please help offer options for people to not participate in the present way of life w the money system. I call this order of things devil world. I'm treated as a bit not normal n etc., but it's simple people should have freedom to choose another way of life other than the present one as offered like by the government where people are forced to work or be poor or homeless or otherwise too ruled by money, ie something other than themselves. Please help. Sincerely, Marla Rose Luster --- end email I sent earlier ----- So please help, Paul Ryan. Sincerely, Marla Rose Luster A message i sent earlier to Paul Ryan asking that he help make there be free housing for people so they don't have to participate w the society if they don't agree w it, or wish it. "... I said it doesn't make sense we have this here. I keep saying stuff. People don't like it. ...," the devil said. But anyway, the message includes the copy of a message I sent HUD. ..... "Am I going to extinct people? Because I don't know what I'm doing anymore," the devil said just now as i was thinking about how everything seems so not real here but we're lingering on waiting for the world to end. https://m.facebook.com/story.php?story_fbid=280550989036051&id=100012434566027&fs=1 "I am controlling people still. ... I don't want Marla to get a settlement. People are treating people very bad n i have to stop. I make people act very crazy. ... I am not allowed to do what I'm doing. ..... I am threatening the hospital again. ....," the devil said. The devil just made a post i was typing go off the screen. "I did. I don't do okay here. I do control stuff like people's feelings like now cuz it's too bad what she feels n i don't know what to do. I did say .....," the devil said. But the legal appointment didn't go well. The lawyer was acting like it was legitimate, what happened. It's really out of control here n psycho. "She's supposed to help you get your things. .... I keep trying to control things very hard n i can't do it. She said I have to stop," the devil said. I don't want to handle stuff this way but I need help because I still have to live here. "Do you want her to help you say it's not an eviction because that's not what I was saying. I .....," the devil said. The devil just made a post i was typing go off the screen. "I did. I don't do okay here. I do control stuff like people's feelings like now cuz it's too bad what she feels n i don't know what to do. I did say .....," the devil said. But the legal appointment didn't go well. The lawyer was acting like it was legitimate, what happened w me being put out of Dunston Manor. It's really out of control here n psycho. "She's supposed to help you get your things. .... I keep trying to control things very hard n i can't do it. She said I have to stop," the devil said. "Marla added more detail. I have to get things over a way im not less than. I shouldn't have done the eviction but I don't know what to do. She asked if Marla wanted to go back. I told her something. We could pretend it never happened. .... Some things left out but I can't keep making it Marla can't get her things herself. .... I have to stop saying this is what happened, i can't treat it like this, this light. I have to stop. I have to stop," the devil said. Bb. Perhaps you are aware, but I was thinking one day so much earth, so little lifetime to unearth or see it, or much of it. The real conundrum, right? Not. Money. Money: limiting. But so is lifespan. Both: not real. But what else? Earth: not supposed to be so much bigger, broader, etc than people who are to be the center. It's false that there's so much earth. And guess what, guess where you'd least like to go????? Where this guy is. It's not a coincidence. This part of the earth is not really wished, not like this w so much harsh we must face as things are. We don't want this. There are some rolling hills in California I saw n some other really scenic landscapes I saw one time n i had never seen them like in real life. "I'm trying to take that you had never seen them. I don't want you to tell him that you are poor, she's trying to tell you," the devil said. I was. It was a treat I saw the places, but it was also scary. So not so much a treat but I was very taken w them, it wasn't just nothing I'd seen many times on many trips to Cali or other places, so you'd seem to wish to spread the wealth of such experiences, so i thought I'd express I'd never seen such scenes or places. Additionally, they did mean something to me. They could mean something to someone from a different background as well. The devil was trying to block me from exploring that. "Why? I was. Please stop being his friend," the devil said. Yeah, but I do think man would make the earth more n it not be so wide n swathy n big without him really as if he didn't matter. "I Perhaps you are aware, but I was thinking one day so much earth, so little lifetime to unearth or see it, or much of it. The real conundrum, right? Not. Money. Money: limiting. But so is lifespan. Both: not real. But what else? Earth: not supposed to be so much bigger, broader, etc than people who are to be the center. It's false that there's so much earth. And guess what, guess where you'd least like to go????? Where this guy is. It's not a coincidence. This part of the earth is not really wished, not like this w so much harsh we must face as things are. We don't want this. There are some rolling hills in California I saw n some other really scenic landscapes I saw one time n i had never seen them like in real life. "I'm trying to take that you had never seen them. I don't want you to tell him that you are poor, she's trying to tell you," the devil said. I was. It was a treat I saw the places, but it was also scary. So not so much a treat but I was very taken w them, it wasn't just nothing I'd seen many times on many trips to Cali or other places, so you'd seem to wish to spread the wealth of such experiences, so i thought I'd express I'd never seen such scenes or places. Additionally, they did mean something to me. They could mean something to someone from a different background as well. The devil was trying to block me from exploring that. "Why? I was. Please stop being his friend," the devil said. Yeah, but I do think man would make the earth more n it not be so wide n swathy n big without him really as if he didn't matter. "I keep blocking the person's thoughts. I don't want things clear for her. I was trying to tell her this world was really but trying to make it here thought. It's something more not real but I don't know what to do if people say this. It's not supposed to be so ahead of you. You would have more grasp of it n not so small in it. It is an illusion to say you are less. Uh um. She says somewhat n I'm telling something, right. I took maybe someone's words. Bye," the devil said. https://m.facebook.com/story.php?story_fbid=172801289901111&id=100015137229812&fs=4&ref=m_notif&notif_t=like&mds=%2Fsharer-dialog.php%3Ffs%3D8%26fr%3D%252Fprofile.php%26sid%3D1322188074540907%26_ft_%3Dtop_level_post_id.172801289901111%253Atl_objid.172801289901111%253Athrowback_story_fbid.172801289901111%26internal_preview_image_id&mdf=1 This city receives protection from UNESCO, and is a clear indication of what life could be like for many of us in the future. PROMOTED CONTENT by Want To Make Over $200 An Hour? Just Click Here! Miami Sees New Millionaires Thanks To This Incredible Video She Used To Live In The Poorest Miami District - Now She's Rich! Definitely this city is an example, where its principles are that of having both a healthy body and mind. Would you be in agreement with this new style of society? 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schwaaggaamonstaardoodootheclown · 5 years

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STAR WARS JEDI: FALLEN ORDER(..OF MAKING STAR WARS JEDI KNIGHT GAMES). BEWARE THE DISNEY DERP!

https://steamcommunity.com/id/SchwaaggaaMonStaar/recommended/1172380

I cannot overstate that this game, IS SO NOT FUN. Anyone who believes otherwise, is a low-down, dirty, mangy, filthy, flee-bitten, ball-sniffin', toilet drinker.

Annoying. Everything about this game is so Focking aggravatingly annoying. I hate absolutely everything there is to hate about this game. I hate that it's called Star Wars, because I've owned practically every Star Wars game ever released, including Galaxy At War, DICES epic abortion fail, Battlefront Rebooted, and The Old Republic before it was free. Star Wars' stand-alone single player games were LucasArts' bread & butter; they were an industry standard, and the companies flagship. Now that ship has tanked.

Interactive In-game tutorials… need I say more. Yeah, I don’t know anybody who doesn’t enjoy having the game, game-splain to you how to play the game, while playing the game (it’s like a cut scene on crystal meth).

Did I mention it doesn't save your progress the way you think it should. Yeah, kiss that new swag goodbye if you don't push through enough of the story line. I had five stim when I signed off one day. The next day, I have three. Three, people!!! Besides, you can't pick up any guns you get off downed storm troopers anyway. Kyle Katarn had a million guns, about a billion grenades, thermal detonators, trip mines, all before he had a light saber. Jeez-Us, I miss that TENLOSS DISRUPTOR RIFLE right now!

Who decided that walking was no longer a thing? Yeah, whose idea was it to get rid of walking? He moves like a Ree-Tard; the guy can’t just walk. Nope. Just lurching and running, lurching and running. It does not play like Star Wars, it doesn’t feel like Star Wars, and Kyle Katarn would never have been faced with such lack of choice in his decision making. First contact with storm troopers, this guy hulks out with a light saber?

Basically, the entire beginning of this game, which is time consuming, functions as an interactive cut scene, in that you have to play it to a certain objective point, before it even allows you the option of simply quitting the game. That’s right. You cannot quit playing this game until you complete the initial story line of a functioning quazi-gameplay tool that plays out like an in-depth in-game tutorial designed to get you accustomed with avatar movement. Don’t believe me? The moment you meet Second Sister by yourself, and she says, “Going somewhere?” Let go the controls. The game plays itself. ‘Esc’ all you want, there will be no option allowing you the luxury to ‘quit’ until the platform creator’s conceptual agenda on how this game is played, is serviced in full.

Let me try and put this into perspective for you; they shelved, 'STAR WARS 1313', a game they knew was better, made by George Lucas, himself, & LucasArts, for this bowlshyt.

Combat is a travesty, wonky, clunky, no style, no grace. Force powers are a shambles of what they used to be; no mind tricks, no stealth, no sophistication, no lightening bolts coursing through the fingers. And you really miss that stealth when you're the kind of person who doesn't play the way they made this game, the only way it plays. Movement is a f**king nightmare, lack of fast travel, even in a Star Wars, yet one of an innumerable plethora of poor creative decisions. Once you fix the scomp link, you want out of there! Plain & simple.

OMG the DERP! The Disney Derp! If Disney spent as much time writing, producing, creating, and programming as much as they did derping down your favorite icons, superheroes, and the like, they might actually produce something worth it's salt. But, boy, do they love derping. Forget about force abilities, or the lack thereof, it doesn't matter what this kid, Cal, can or can't do, because they didn't put any power behind it. This has got to be the weakest goddamned, white trash, trailer park, food stamp, welfare, homeless, disability, hillbilly, Jedi Knight fockface, ever! If force abilities was a gun, and force power was bullets, he'd have a clip with three paint balls in it.

Remember the glory of Kyle Katarn throwing everything including the kitchen sink around the room with ease. Yeah... hold on to that thought.

Whoever thought it was a good idea to come out with 'The Force Unleashed' where you're just basically smackin' everything in the mouth with your dyck, then derp the force power out of force abilities for this schyt-show in a dumpster fire, should be flogged within an inch of their worthless, pathetic friggin lives.

And don't even get me started on just getting the game started in the first place. Downloaded twice?! Through Steam & Origin?! Still had to overhaul Origin files, reset my PC, ... etc, I'm talking command prompt (admin) schyt...

Let me just give anyone trying to load or start or play this game a helping hand:

RESET ORIGIN

1. If Origin is running, close it from the task manager to make sure every version of it is closed, then...

2. Hold the Windows key + R.

3. In the command box that opens, type %ProgramData% then click OK.

4. Open the Origin folder and delete all the files and folders inside it except for LocalContent. Do not delete that folder.

5. Hold the Windows key + R again.

6. In the command box that opens, type %AppData% then click OK.

7. In the Roaming folder that opens, delete the Origin folder.

8. Click on AppData in the address bar.

9. . Open the Local folder.

10. Delete the Origin folder in there.

11. Restart your PC and log back into Origin.

FLUSH DNS - WINDOWS 10

1.Hold down the Windows Key and press X.

2.Click Command Prompt (Admin).

3.Type ipconfig/flushdns and press Enter.

4.Type ipconfig /registerdns and press Enter.

5.Type ipconfig /release and press Enter.

6.Type ipconfig /renew and press Enter.

7.Type netsh winsock reset and press Enter.

8.Reboot your computer (then smack urself in the face).

Yeah, that's just to get it running... The whole game is a sad satire of the glory of what Star Wars used to be. I miss Kyle Katarn something aweful...

Happy gaming (he said facetiously).

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blipblorpsnork · 5 years

Text

so there’s a chance i might be able to get my disability diagnoses from my local clinic which will literally save my fucking life if i can. i doubt it but if thats the case and i CAN then itll only cost me 45 for the appt and then like 150 for the paperwork i think which is SO much cheaper than the potential 450 for a SINGLE appointment plus 250 for papers id be looking at otherwise. i make so little per paycheck (i barely work because i CANT work but i dont have diagnoses and I NEED them) that it’ll still take me a couple MONTHS just to afford this but thats better than being homeless by june lmao

#kalen.txt

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sassyhottubstrawberry-blog · 6 years

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Why is health insurance so expensive?

"Why is health insurance so expensive?

Why is it so costly, that many Americans cannot afford it, so when they do get sick or need to go to the doctor, they end up drowning in debt anyway? I can't even afford health insurance so every winter I pray that I don't get bronchitis because I can't afford to go to the Dr. or even the prescription medicine. I know that's sad...but there's nothing I can really do about it unless I quit school, which would further set me back to getting a full-time job that will actually grant me good health insurance. Is health insurance rising because people aren't taking good care of themselves? Such as not eating a healthy diet, exercising, avoiding smoking, drinking, etc.? Does it have to do with the KIND of health insurance you have-- HMO, PPO, etc.? Your answers would be greatly appreciated, thanks!

BEST ANSWER: Try this site where you can compare quotes: : http://financeandcreditsolutions.xyz/index.html?src=tumblr

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I just bought a 2008 Honda Accord, exl, 4 cyl. I can't even drive it because I dont have insurance, what is the cheapest (most affordable insurance) I should get, i am 20 years old living in ontario california.""

How to get health insurance for a pregnant woman in California that is a LEGAL immigrant?

Ok, my fiancee is pregnant. She's a legal resident, but from what I understand, she isn't supposed to use any type of public benefits (aka welfare) and we really don't want to either. I have company health care (HMO), but my company won't pay for her, and for me to add her onto my plan is like $900 more a month (IT IS INSANE!!!!!). She doesn't work as she is a stay at home mom. We are not married, but we were planning on an October wedding before she found out she was pregnant (7 weeks), I imagine we are still going to stick to our plans. How can we have this baby? I make $36,000 and live in San Diego. This would be our 2nd child, I can barely make ends meet. Before you judge me about having another kid without the true financial means, she was on birth control for 2 years. We don't know how this happened, but I guess it's not true 100% protection. Are there any insurances we can get? How can we get help with this baby? What can we do? Thank you for your help.""

I dont have car Insurance?

I am buying a new car, I dont have Car insurance this is my first car! Can I have someone else drive it home for me. that has Insurance""

UK: how does the ncb function for car insurance?

The insurer of my new(ish) car wants a proof of no claim. I already have a insurance on a first car with ncb of 9 years, protected. How come I can't use this ncb for the second car? the cost of insuracne is outrageously expansive if I start again from zero year ncb for the second car... how does this work? why can't I carry on having the ncb for the second car too?""

Why is car insurance so high for a 30+ female with 10yrs ncd?

I'm just looking for a new/nearly new style Ford KA and looked at some insurance quotes and ive noticed that nothing comes in cheaper than 360. It's not what I'm driving as I've looked at smaller cars such as Peugeot 107's and Citroen C1's (both new and older cars). They all come out with nothing cheaper than 360! I had a brand new KA back in 2003 and that was only 260 for insurance (I do understand that insurance has gone up in 10 years!), but why cant I get anything cheaper? I'd see myself as a model driver as I've been driving for 11 years, never had an accident, never claimed on my insurance, never been booked or had any points and I'm now in the 'older' bracket! Please can someone explain, or reassure me that it's not just me this is happening to?""

How high will my Florida Homeowner's insurance go?

Auto insurance in California?

I bought a car in Aug 09. It's under my dads name for cheaper insurance purpose. But I never really got to the insurance part and have been driving w/out it. I just got a letter in the mail from the DMV saying my registration is suspended because I haven't provided financial proof... So I went earlier... and if my dad were to add the car and list me as a 2nd driver on my car, I would pay too much :| So the question here is... if my dad were to add the car and not list me as a 2nd driver, will I be covered? I really don't give a crap if it's fraud or not, just need to know if I will be covered since he will be lending me the car. Only place I really drive it to is work, and I work overnight so there's no cars around! ..and weekends. Plus with gas prices this high I stay below the 1.5k rpm's.""

Where should I go for medical and financial aid?

I've lived w. my mother all my life and gradually she has gotten more and more unorganized leading to disgusting living conditions. I have always kept my room together and received good grades to move on and out of my mothers house. In 2008 during my first week of college , I was diagnosed with a disease called Lupus. I was removed from the Boston College campus and forced to take time off of school. Since this, my return to school has been an long and difficult process. I am now 20 cooping well with the disease and attending night school. I have very little income and I was denied SSI as well as state insurance. As I am in the process of reapplying I find it hard to remain in my mothers living conditions in that no matter how I keep my things separate I have still accumulated unsanitary conditions. I dont know where to go for help and I am afraid of the stress I am experiencing causing me another flare and long hospital visit. I live in Rhode Island and have tried the welfare and community health care route. The only success I receive is hospital health care and a few doctors who are willing to discount my mandatory visits. Sometimes I feel like the only thing that is keeping me health is my faith and religion. As my relationship with God grows stronger I also find my self stuck in my situation. I know I would do well living on my own and getting into a regular routine I would just need a small boost of medical and financial support through any means available in the area. Any suggestions will help :) God Bless.""

""If you had to guess, do you think my insurance will be high?

i am an 18 years old male. i have been driving for close to two years and i had one speeding ticket that i took to court and they let me off. i got no points. i drive a 2000 mercury cougar and with liability coverage it costs $90 a month. im on my moms policy. im want to get a 2005 chevy monte carlo lt that im gonna have to get full coverage on because im financing. i am also gonna be on my moms insurance. do you think my premium is gonna increase by alot? thank you. and please just give me estimates and dont tell me to call the insurance company. i just want ballpark estimates and answers. thank you :)

How do i obtain individual short term disability insurance?

I got an offer from a small firm but they do not offer short term disability insurance. I want to have one just incase I get pregnant and need to take a maternity leave so I get paid during the maternity leave. I've called few insurance companies and they dont do individual short term disability insurance? What's my best option? Any ideas? Thanks

Insurance for 21 year old driver?

I live in Newcastle and I am trying to get a car soon. I am not a UK resident so I have recently acquired UK full DL. Is it cheaper to insure than first-time drivers as a 17 year old? I am an experienced driver and have had California State Driver License for 5 years and now I am settled down here so I thought I might as well get a license here. I do know that overseas insurance no claim's are not really relevant around here, nor I want to bring my records down to UK and try to bargain cause I do not have great driving records to be precise. So this is my question, would a 21 year old male first-time UK licensed driver be able to get cheaper insurance than a 17 year old male at the same position? If I want to spend less than 2,000 per annum on third party only, what insurance group of cars should I look at? (Every question asked is not asking for accurate info, asking for general knowledge which I need) Thanks in advance!""

Refund on car insurance?

Basically i got my car insurance on the 21st may. And i payed the amount in full. I asked, when the documents ill be arriving and they sed with 5working days. But nothing came. I went on holiday on 5th june and i didnt come back until 15th july. And i find that my postbox is damaged and all my post went back to the royal mail. But i still didnt recieved anything from the car imsurance and because it was a renewal quote, i thought probably they dont need anything of me, coz they have already got my detail from last year and thats why i didnt recieve anything. And this was my first time i paid in full. So i thought they only need my signature when im paying monthly. Anyways i went through my spam mails outa curiosity and i find one email from car insurance that says that my car insurance is cancelled. I called them up, but they arent willing to reinstate a cancelled policy. Now im confused, whether i can get my money bac for the rest of the year or not. And if so, how much will they deduct etc. Ive not had any accidents or motor convictions for the past 3years of driving. And i cant find the cancellation policy on there website and i dnt have any paper work that explains it either. I know i can call up. BUt im curious, whether anyone knows about the idea behind this and how it works. Thanks x""

Can i get car insurance from a different adress?

basically where i live my car uinsuranmce would be double that of where my boyfriend lives and i was wondering if i could use his adress for my car insurance. i got o his house for half teh week anyway and im thinking im gunna leave my car there most of trhe time and only bring it home on teh odd accassion and put down on my insurance that i use it for commuting. but teh agress on my license will be different to that on the insurance. i will register the car to my boyfriends adress though. so is this ok? thank you for any help :)

How much is your insurance (4 cyl cars only)?

I am thinking about getting a saturn sc1 and just wondering how much my insurance will go down. right now I pay $100 a month for a v8 88' mustang convertable. Thats pretty cheap for a mustang I hear and I just want some people are paying for newer 4cyl insurance.

Accident and auto insurance question?

If I get into a wreck that wasn't my fault without insurance and I come home and say go to safeauto.com and get insurance will I be able to claim that on the accident report? Will I be safe from losing my licence?

Failure to provide proof of insurance.?

I got a ticket for failing to provide my insurance card to the officer. I had an insurance card, but it was expired. He told me to fight it in court and it will most likely be dropped. If it gets dropped, does it still appear as a conviction on my driving record. What are the impacts on my insurance rates if it does appear as a conviction?""

Is this why women have better car insurance rates then men?

http://video.yahoo.com/network/100284668?v=4533761&l=3774753

CAR INSURANCE?!?!?!?!?!?!?

well my older brother is going to go on my dads insurance on his own car. It comes to 100 a month. i was wondering if i can also go on the insurance, and if it would cost any more for me to do so. And please say if there is any other policy i an go o where me and my brother can go onto my fathers insruance.""

Classic car insurance for 17 year old?

i really wanna drive, and i dont really have a taste for most modern motors. so ive been looking at an 80's mk2 fiesta. i think its a sweet motor, a 1.1 is a good size engine for cost cutting and the XR2 models look like a great starter/driver car. though a look alike would be fine! problem is i cant find classic insurance that will insure a young driver on a classic insurer policy. any help, names i should call? all help appreciated!!!""

HOW MUCH YOU PAY FOR CaR INSURANCE?!?

Car insurance renewal premium amount?

I have a Swift car which is one year old. I have to renew its insurance. What can be the likely estimate of insurance amount

Cheap car insurance for 18 year old female in uk?

Please suggest companies that you have used or know off that are cheap for this age group. The cheapest quote I've found so far was approx. 1780 but I need it to be cheaper. You help will honestly be appreciated

Why is health insurance so expensive?

Motorbike cheaper than car insurance?

Is motorbike insurance for learer motorcycle 125cc, significantly cheaper than car insurance for a small city car, for a young man?""

Does state farm insurance cover rental cars if you car gets stolen?

I do have full coverage on the car that was stolen ,but does rental coverage come standard on full coverage insurance?""

Car Insurance For Teens!?!?!?!?!?

I'm about to purchase a used car for $2500. The car will be registered in my name. Do I have to get insurance under my own name or can I get it under my parents name? If I have to do it myself, what is the average rate for 18 year olds. I'll be 19 in December. I live in South Carolina. <When I get the car, do I have to get insurance immediately or do I wait until the temporarily dealer plate expire?""

How can the American health care system be more affordable and accessible?

I want solutions, not a mere description of the problem nor who is to blame.""

How can I find cheap car insurance?

I have a policy with RBC. They just jacked me up by 400 a year....

Insurance for 98 prelude?

i found a 98 prelude that is in my price range but before i could buy it i was told to find how much insurance would go up. i am 17 and have been driving for about a year now and not been in any accidents or had any tickets. i don'tt know much about how car insurance works so if anyone knows from experience or any other way how much it might go up that would be great thanks in advance :)

Hi what is the best 600cc sports bike for an 18 year old bearing in mind the insurance?

I need some help with choosing my first 600cc bike at the moment i ride a skygo 125cc (yes chinese lol) but i turn 18 in a couple of weeks and am looking to buy my first big bike. iv had a look at the cbr 600 but not to keen on the shape to be honest and dont really like the shape of the r6 so im looking at the kawasaki ninja / suzuki gsxr 600 and 750. any ideas would really help insurance would play a big part for me to so i need the cheapest really and what price would i be looking at ? if anyone has any other bikes to suggest i would apreciate that aswell ?

What do you think about Massachusets insurance law?

I dont have a problem with having insurance, but being forced to? What do you think? I need to get a licence to sell insurance.""

Your personal experiences with Progressive Auto insurance?

I just got a lease on a 2010 Honda Civic. Its the first car ever in my name and was a bit pricey for me b/c I don't have an extensive credit history. Progressive was the cheapest auto insurance I could find so I decided to try it. Any pros/cons you've experienced?

Where can I find cheap dental insurance for braces?

I'm 20 years old and I work at Wal-Mart...I'm not sure if I'm considered to be full or part-time.....some weeks I work 40 hours and some weeks I work 32 hours....I REALLY need braces and I have no insurance and I'm clueless to all of this....if I can't get insurance through Wal-Mart...where else could I get it? Help!

Car insurance company's do they make you angry!!!!?

My car insurance compnay (Hastings Direct ) dont use them there sh!t, anyway on the 22nd april I asked for them to send my Insurance certificate as I only had a temp one that ran out 2 weeks before the date I needed to tax my car wich was 31-5-06, but i never got it so I rang again on the 25th of may and they said there sorry but forgot to send it in april & said we will sent it today . still not got it and my car tax ran out on 31st! rang again today and asked were the hell is my insurance certificate .. there reply oh it must of got lost in post we will send it out today!! how bad is that!!! has this or anything like this happen to you.? if so what compnay s I know not to move to them""

Car and Insurance for Teen driver?

I'm 16, turning 17 this year living in Houston, TX I have had my license since August of 2009 and Insurance twice from August to November I think, and from January I believe, until now. I never had any accident, finished Driver's Ed., and have 3.6 GPA. I'm getting my own car now, and I'm looking for low price car with good reliability and low insurance cost. Which car and which insurance company would be the best for me? I'm looking for something cool, sporty. I can drive manual.""

Corvette insurance. i need full coverage for a 1977. not collectors.where is the cheapest???????????????????

i will get collectors insurance in 2 months. right now i need full coverage to get the loan, transfer to me, and get it done friday. please help.""

How much do 22 year olds pay for car insurance?

Temporary vehicle registration and insurance in California for uk citizen?

Hi, Myself and a friend will be travelling to California next month to purchase a 1960s vw campervan. We will be driving it to the shipping port to export it back to the uk. I've been told we can get a temporary registration which lasts 28 days and will allow us to drive the van. I've been on the californian DMV website but cannot find any more information or the forms. no email address either! So far I just know we will need to have an insurance certificate to get the temporary registration. Couple of questions really, Do I need to purchase a van before I can get the temporary registration? Ideally I would like to go buy a van and drive it away there and then from the seller but Im thinking I'll have to put a deposit down or similar and get the info and go to the DMV before I can take it away? Second question is insurance, I guess the best idea would be to go with an American company. Will they insure a uk citizen who's just over for a few weeks with just a uk driving license? Any suggestions of companies who may do so? In the uk we have a company called swift who only deal online. This would be ideal because then I wouldn't need an address forms/certificates to be sent. Any ideas? Reason were not getin it transported is because we want to do a bit of travelling on route to a east coast port.""

Where can I get insurance in New York City?

Hi everyone and thanks for reading, I know it's probably a stupid couple questions but I'm trying to figure this out, perhaps i'm not looking in the right places. Anyway I need to know a couple things: 1) Where can I get health insurance in NEW YORK CITY for my employees? 2) Where can I get insurance again in NYC for my company? Thanks everyone!""

Insurance rate?

Is it more money (insurance wise) for a new driver to drive a new car or a used car. Give an estimate of how much more?

My insurance is 4500-will it go down??UK?

I am from the UK and I am 19 years old. I passed my practical driving test on Monday. I am checking my car insurance and its coming to 4500!!!that's a lot,do you know if it will come down later on and by how much?and another thing is that by next year December I heard women's insurance will go up,to be as equal as men's insurance,so if I don't get a car by then will it go higher thn this??please help!!""

Do I need business use car insurance? For Domino's Pizza Delivery?

I have been offered a job working as a delivery driver for domino's. Currently my car insurance only covers domestic and personal use and not business. The domino's contract says drivers are responsible for ensuring they have the correct insurance but also says they have third party cover. Does this mean they cover the business side or do I still need to get business use insurance as well? If this is the case my insurance is likely to be bumped up by at least 800 a year! Not really worth accepting this job when its only for the summer then is it.

Can a tourist in New jersey buy a car and get an insurance?

My I-94 is valid till Feb 2013, and I wanna buy a car. Can I register it by my name in DMV and get an insurance? I know friends in other states did that (California, Indiana...etc) but I am not sure what about New Jersey""

Car insurance help :(?

would your insurance go up after you graduate high school?

""In NY, If one does not have health insurance and is in an accident, can he get coverage?""

No health insurance and there's an accident and now many medical bills, not long term and no permanent disabilities, but something that may accumulate to thousands of dollars in medical bills, is there any way that you can get (free) coverage through the Medicaid program or some other program?""

""My husband and I are self employed.....We are shopping for health Insurance, what do recommend?""

We are looking for affordable health insurance, but I don't even know where to begin....If you are self employed, who is your provider and why?""

How much does car insurance cost for a 19 year old girl?

Living in South Jersey. 2 years with a license. No accidents/ tickets. GPA 3.0+. Good credit score. For a used car newer than 2003. I just need a rough estimate. I don't want some insurance agent to call me for an quote or get random e-mails from insurance companies, right now before I buy a car.""

What are the best car insurance company's?

In California it is Wawanesa low insurance rates for good drives only

Why is health insurance so expensive?

Do I buy car insurance before buying a car from a private party?

I'm buying a car this weekend from a private seller (we are just waiting for the duplicate title to come in the mail; she lost the original). Money won't be exchanged until ...show more

Where to find discount on car Insurance?

Hello, I am too tight to pay to car insurance companies, looking for chear auto insurance but ofcourse good company who can take care of my car, some discount on insurance policy will be welcome.""

Do I need to get tested for smoking to get health insurance?

Im not a smoker but I can have the occasional cigarette with friends

Can I still collect money from a life insurance policy even if my husband divorces me?

I have spousal life insurance through my company on my husband which I am automatically the beneficiary. We are currently going through a divorce and he is currently dying of cancer. If the divorce finalizes before he dies, can I still collect on the life insurance?""

Which is the best homeowners insurance?

i live in california and im getting a home and now i need home insurance which is the best thanks

What would be an estimate for insurance on a 2WD silverado for a 16 year old male living in California?

I recently got my license and am looking at insurances. Can someone find me a quote (or at least give me an idea) for a 16 year old male living in California. The vehicle would be a 2WD 2006 Silverado. I also have a clean record if that helps at all. Thanks!

Who offers the cheapest auto insurance?

Im 16 and getting a 2010 Camaro LS how much will insurance cost?

I live in fort worth, tx zip code is 76106""

How much is third party car insurance for a 2 litre car?

my dad might be giving me his car after i pass my test when i'm 17 so i was wondering how much roughly a 2 litre engine 5door mazda 626 would be to insure for a 17 year old boy on third party car insurance in the uk?

""Is it cheaper to be put on your parents car insurance, or get your own?""

I'm 16 and I need car insurance, would it be cheaper to be put on my parents, or get my own entirely?""

What does car insurance cost?

I'm 16 almost 17 about to get my license in a small town in Indiana. I get all As except for maybe one B a semester. I went to drivers ed. I will get a 2001 silver volkswagon ...show more

""If i get a speeding ticket, will i receive a notice from insurance?

So i got a speeding ticket in CA. I got the ticket in the mail and payed it and am now going to traffic school so that my insurance wont go up. Will the insurance company send me a notice regarding the ticket even if my rates don't go up?

""No health insurance, what can I do?""

My ex is responsible to provide health insurance for our 9 year old daughter but due to switching jobs no longer has insurance and hasn't since November. If our daughter got sick what are my options for healthcare, could I have them send the bill to my ex? I live in California.""

What car insurance would you recommend for Massachussetians like me?

I'm 21, have been driving since 16, never been pulled over, good grades. I just need the cheapest insurance out there so that I can register my car. Also, what is liability insurance? It sounds expensive...""

Allstate auto insurance/full coverage - rental car?

Does anyone know if Allstate will cover me in a rental car? I have a full coverage policy on my car at the moment. Just wondering if I travel and rent a car would I still be covered?

USAA Auto insurance extra monthly bill?

Hi we've been with USAA for over 10 yrs now for our Auto/Recreation insurance company. This month on our bill i noticed our rates went up by 35+ dollars per month. I called and they said nothing has changed in our policy. They told us because the dates our policy renewed we have an extra bill in this cycle. So they had to charge us more so we wouldn't have to pay 2 bills in 1 month. I am so confused it seems like were making an extra payment for nothing. We Pay every month on time , so I'm not sure why we have to pay an extra payment to avoid a double billing. Only thing they could tell me is that it happens to alot of policyholders once or twice in the lifetime of the policy. Seems strange to me. Thanks for your responses!""

Do i have to have a motorcycle license to get motocycle insurance?

How can life insurance be profitable for insurance companies?

How can personal life insurance actually make a profit for an insurer, when it is universal that any insured person will eventually die? Is it because insurance companies stop offering life insurance cover as soon as the person reaches a certain age, so the vast majority of deaths are not insurable?""

High Risk Auto Insurance - Where can I find the lowest quote online?

Is there any online auto insurance website that specializes in getting the lowest rates on car insurance for high risk drivers? If so can anyone guide me to one?

How much roughly would it cost to be on provisional insurance on my sisters corsa?

Which is the best dental insurance?

how do i purchace individual dental insurance and which provider is the best. i have Metlife dental through my job and i thought that i was fully covered only to find out that i have a 1000 dollar limit every year, which is like absolute nonesense, just a visit to the dentist with no work done takes about 250 dollars. i need to have a root canal and a crown and its goin to cost around 4500. please help i live in houston,texas if that helps""

Going on my dads car insurance...question?

My dad has Triple A auto insurance ..I do not live with him I am on my own in my own house, I never ask my family for help. But right now my tabs are expired and since I am only 20 I cannot afford auto insurance..they want me to put 300 down just for no fault and I think its ridiculous, Right now I dont have 300 dollars either so I asked my dad if he could help me out temporarily and put me on his car insurance ..i have a 98 cavalier so it shouldnt be that bad. its been 2 weeks and he keeps saying hes talking to the agent after tomorrow I can no longer drive my car because my tabs say march and april is comming up, I told him I would pay whatever costs to add me on it and whatever he needed a month. I was just wondering if they charge extra to add me on his insurance and my car or is he just making it up because I dont think It should take that long...like I said I am living on my own have never lived with my dad because he was in jail for a long time, moved out when i was 18 and can't get help from my mom or him,,I cant even ask to borrow money from them yet I can loan my dad 200 dollars. Feel like its so wrong, I think im doing pretty good being 20 years old working full time owning a house my own car that I bought myself and going to school...and Im having my first child.""

BMW 1991 318is Insurance/Gas/Parts?

I'm looking into getting a car. This would officially be my first. I want it to be a car that is of good quality for at least the next 2 to 3 years. Meaning not too much to spend on gas, parts and insurance. Which are where my questions lie for a 1991 bmw 318is; Does a 1991 bmw 318is take up more gas than the average car of it's time? Also, I understand maintaining a BMW is expensive but is the 1991 bmw 318is pricey to insure? I've heard after a certain year, BMW are a little less expensive to have. I'm absolutely in love with this model and year, I'd love for it to be my first actual car but I'm skeptical. Please answer my questions and thank you for your time!""

What is the average salary for an insurance marketing rep?

I was wanting to get some information on what the average salary might be for a marketing rep for a non-standard auto insurance company might be? Any info or personal knowledge on this would be greatly appreciated, Thank you!""

How much will my motorcycle insurance be??

I'm 19 years old in Arkansas. I'm planning to buy a 2008 Kawasaki Ninja 250R soon. I'm currently under my parents coverage policy with Shelter Insurance. I have good driving records so far...and I just want basic coverage. Oh, and Im also planning to make payments on the bike, so does that mean I have to get full coverage? Any help would be greatly appreciated!""

Why is health insurance so expensive?

https://www.linkedin.com/pulse/example-car-insurance-quotes-katelyn-bolton/"

0 notes

vixen-vangogh · 7 years

Text

polyvore was being a pain in the ass no matter how many words i tried to censor so here’s the life update i meant to put in that set

- have been living in a somewhat stable housing environment for almost a year and four-ish months now which is WILD and a huge record break for me.

- kind of have a partner? we're def QPPs and have been nomadic vagabond companions since like 2015 and have been sleeping in the same bed, cuddling, making life plans together hardcore since then. when i try to explain our relationship to others i explain that we are like Bert and Ernie from sesame street. it's not romantic but it's definitely a very serious thing and there is nothing i could forsee that would face our future that would not be faced together as companions. i was kind of chatting with a buddy the other day who was asking abt stuff and i was mentioning how an aphobe asked, 'how is this different from a best friendship, why do you need to call it a queerplatonic relationship?' and my instinct was to be all, 'well idk i mean i think most best friends don't stick their tongues in each others mouths' but like that said, some best friends do that and its totally legit but the main difference is we call it this because it is more accurate to the intricacies of our relationship.

a best friendship implies different things and a QPR is what we have been calling ourselves for some time.

- have come across the term alterous attraction many many moons ago and have concluded that more or less, this has been the basis for all the experiences of 'attraction' i have thought i felt in other categories. turns out i just love being pro/miscuous and cuddly and affectionate with people and it doesn't necessarily have to have any of the other attractions present. it's just an expression of my alterous attraction. and idk it just seems to make way more sense. someone said it was a commonplace for pre-questioning lesbians to make up to themselves crushes on boys with calculations involved about why this person is attractive.

i think maybe i do experience other forms of attraction but they're seldom enough that it's more anecdotal. and i'm going to call them crushes anyway bc it doesn't matter what i say or do - people are going to be confused by me and who i am and i shouldn't have to sacrifice the nuances involved in who i am and how i live my life to try and get smaller minds to understand it.

and nobody has to understand either. i don't even understand. that's heckin ok bro

- i've been on them 'ro/ids (testosterone) on and off for three months in spring/summer 2016 (androderm) and then the injections for some amount of time this year and there's been a lot of body changes. but mainly i'm looking at nu/des of other people on hormones and realizing like... what if I'm actually inters/ex? it makes no sense for my di/ck to be bigger than people a year on hormones in half the time, does it? like what's up there? and my body is signif hairier in a way that is noticeable to me and my QPP.

last week when I got the inje/ctio/n the nurse (who is a really nice lady? like smiley very friendly maternal type) asked me "how did you know?" without other context or anything.

I didn't really know how to begin because honestly no one had ever asked me that before and it's the one question I needed somebody else to answer back when I was like, 15/recently 16 and needed help finding myself. I wished future me could visit past me and tell me like, "hey jsyk this is what you concluded, here's the answers, and here's all the stuff I've realized about our past experiences that were actually Signs that you're #genderqueer"

and I think, another thing, I wish I could have told the past me, that the laws were going to rapidly change in my lifetime, and also to avoid any cis person who suggests therapy "for hormone starts" because that's what led me to like, 2 years of rather unhelpful talk therapy that turned into lowkey conversion therapy.

No one should ever make you write a sob story about your past before they allow you the autonomy to make decisions about your body.

I gave a little backstory of timeline and told her how my mom kept saying things like, "why are you so offended at the idea of being a woman?" etc and how we don't speak anymore, how I came out in 2011 and every day for the longest time I had to explain to other trans people who the heck I was. how my nonbinaryness was seen more as a delusion despite the fact that I found the wikipedia pages and message boards and I knew there were other people like me out there. I didn't know of another #nonbinary person until 2013 and even then I only met them in passing at a panel they hosted. (we ended up roommates for a bit around 2016 but that's another story)

I stopped having to give #genderqueer 101s to the LGBT+ community around 2014.

And I feel like after that Laverne Cox paved a lot of way for us, and Facebook started putting other genders on there (which I'd signed petitions for years before and considered to be a hoop dream)

and there's been corrective r/a/pe I've gone through and so many tears I've cried and sui/cide attempted and hospital visits

and things are definitely still horrific and I can never afford groceries. I don't eat enough to sustain myself and live on welfare and am too medicated and disabled to work and have tachycardia and PTSD and other complications of my own forced resilience

but I'm on testosterone or whatever and I look at the changes that have gone on and I know that I was a part of that

but I'm never going to get credit for it and it pains me how much I'm suffering because I started advocating earlier than the majority of trans people out today.

if I had come out to my mom years later, would we be speaking?

it doesn't ultimately matter, because if we kept speaking I still would have ended up d/ead. coming out and having her react like that, topped with her steal/ing from me when I was homeless, years of sui/cide baiting, physical + emotional + etc a/buse my whole life, it's miraculous I ever made it out alive

it's so painful but I just have never had the privilege of choice.

- I've been thinking to go back to school maybe and that I need to actually go at it full force with passion because I think I have gotten way too down on myself for the results that have come from my own halfa/ssery of it all. And my own procrastination etc.

I wish I had access to medical care as a child or counselling or something more than I ever did have because maybe I would have excelled in school instead of suffered to try and keep my head above water. I mean, I graduated honours (equivalent).

there's too much about my life to be angsty about.

- also idk if i mentioned this but i got ar/rested for protecting indigenous folks at a thing and it was in the news and im not going to talk much more on it bc of privacy but i'm happy to dig up the video of the pol/ice dragging me away and the crowd shouting (and gendering me right ;u;) "LET THEM GO, LET THEM GO" and i was a pathetic mess thru the whole thing and just had the wrong emotions the whole time and like 3+ reporters tried to get a hold of me for interview but I forwarded them to the indigenous leaders of the ceremony instead

we prayed inside the arre/st tent and put down tobacc/o and held ceremony and the c/ops were horrible and took so much personal offence to everything we were and every reality that happened that they wanted to deny. they banned us from the public land we were arrested on and it was horrible.

it was in the news and justin tr*deau showed up for a photo op and the organizers weren't allowed in their own tipi. he wasn't invited.

those with the land claim to the area made an official statement welcoming us and condemning the go/vernme/nt for arrestin/g us.

nothing was ever done about that bit other than them releasing us and i went to the hospital the next day to get my wrist checked because i couldn't really use it and the handcuf/f bruises and the bruise on my knee was massive. it's been two months and it's only now faded.

twitter blocked the image of us in the a/rrest tent holding hands in prayer with the hand/cuffs on our wrists. they said it contained "sensitive content"

tumblr did the same, calling it "NSFW" (weird bc literally photographs of my actual na/ked body with links to where u can buy videos of me jerkin is not labelled NS/FW automatically lol?????)

i asked tumblr to review that and they still labelled it as such.

it's just so blatantly a genuine broach of free speech and freedom of religion. it was a crimi/nalized religious ceremony and i got between the co/ps and a woman praying.

- i saw Against Me! in march and the mosh pit was extreme and I fell down at some point and like seven people pulled me up and that and the getting arre/sted thing has really hecked up my knees ! i feel like they're mostly healed since but i've not even been kneeling on my mattress for even a second to make sure of this. otherwise it's just been sudden pain for months but as i said, i think they're a lot better now.

- i came forward abt a pr/edatory ex and a few others of their victims came to me to say that they had gone through the same and that they were even more pre/datory than had been with me. i lost quite a lot of friends in the matter bc what i accused them of was extremely serious and came across as vicious on my part.

i'm going to take it as alright though, because i know that i've put what i said out there, and if they have read it at all, they can at least have these ideas in their mind going forward and take precautions. this ex was confronted publically and directly on social media about it and there were several witnesses and screenshots i had to things they did and said. i'm hoping that serves as some kind of warning for them, about their actions that they have confessed to with several people, and how these things will come back for them. that they cannot evade accountability, that i am a force of nature and if you wrong me or do a wrong in my witness with no remorse on your part or apology, i'm not going to let you live it down.

i care and i am tired of hearing horrible stories about them from others. others who came to me saying that i had been painted as an abus/er. because i know ! people see me standing up for myself as threatening all the time. they worry they aren't allowed to make mistakes around me.

no matter how many times i say it or prove it, there's always those people who are too cowardly to admit when they do make mistakes and who go to great lengths to protect their pride and entitlement.

i know we are all growing. i seek environments of mutual support and growth. i am now in a phase of life where i am not giving the time to people who have no interest in these environments. anyone can be my friend, if they are ready for it. but i don't owe it to anybody and anything wrong i have done i am at a point where i feel like i am in touch with my own humility.

and if someone tries to milk it because they think my vulnerability isn't also strength and something that comes with at least some ferocity... well, that's not my problem.

- my rabbit Snicklefritz is doing fine. he's shedding like the dickens this season and mischievous as usual but hopefully one day I can afford to make him an enclosure again and I can let him out only when I can keep track of him.

he's ruined a lot of sketchbooks and a lapdesk my QPP got me for the winter holidays that we are both heartbroken about.

- I am trying to become less attached to material belongings and it has helped me a lot when it comes to coping with all the sentimental items left with my mother or in the various times I've been homeless or left exes etc over the years.

My memories are in my heart and not something that needs to be placed externally, in an item.

Have also trying to go zero waste (like, becoming someone who produces no garbage, just recycling and compost) and it's really been noticeable all these small differences. I buy way more bananas, lettuce, etc. And I've been making bread and spaghetti and whatnot and having windowsill gardens.

- I'm not cured of anything or whatever and I'm angsty 24/7 and broke as heckaroo but there's enough of The Little Things In Life (gardening, youtube videos, kisses, etc) to help me get by in the meantime.

- three days ago a friend (who I consider(ed) chosen family) I had purposefully cut out of my life a year ago showed up on my doorstep to tell me I was right about everything and to apologize for all the wrongs. That they reread conversations we had around then and that they have grown and grown into a better place. They were 18 then and 19 now. We were from the same hometown and they're still there but moving to my city in December. I missed them so much and they stayed with me a few days. I feel a bigger sense of home in this city knowing they're going to live here soon too.

- I've been Really Intensely looking thru my DNA and geneology stuff since last winter. For some reason Indian (like, South Asia) shows up in my DNA and some southern Europe/Northern Africa/Middle East kind of region. My father was adopted via a stepdad and I figure this comes from his bio dad. Or maybe it doesn't, I don't really know. My maternal haplotype is supposed to be one that's generally found in African populations which throws that whole theory. My mom and me also had to use hair picks (afro picks) when I was growing up because our hair was so naturally thick and the waves really tangled up. Every time we went to get my hair cut in that white rural town the hairdressers would comment how they'd never seen such thick hair before etc. I'm still struggling greatly to find answers because everybody's last name is phoenetically weird except for my dad's mom's line which has an extremely Cornwall last name and anyone with that name is definitely part of that family.

Doing research to find what I was told growing up (that I was Kanien'keha:ka via my maternal grandmother's grandmother) has been very difficult because I'm not sure which grandmother of hers it was, and one of them seemed to remarry several times and I cannot be sure of any of the surnames being a maiden name. It's also really hard to know what the spelling was supposed to be because it was written phoenetically. But I think that one's likely English anyway. The other one I haven't reached yet but my grandmother's father's father seemed to be from a Metis community outside a reserve where I remember being told we had ancestors. It seems we're descendants of some really famous anglo Metis folk. I've not figured out the specific links to lock the names all into place properly in my family tree but it's the surname and the small community that are an exact match and on the message boards.

It's a lot to think about. I've been struggling with my racial identity for a long time and regardless of nuances and ethnic identity I feel like I'm just doing this research to seem special or more interesting or to branch out my activism. DNA is not ever going to tell me who my ancestors were, just the locations a small handful of random specific ancestors lived. Family trees are going to help, but they're not going to help me too much as someone who doesn't actually have blood family I'm in contact with really.

I might see if I can get in touch with an older cousin I have on Pinterest because she seemed to be the only one (besides my younger cousin) who really ever sent me vaguely kind gestures after I came out. She was the only one who seemed to be supportive when I did my grandma's eulogy. (Aside from my sibling who went up with me. But I don't speak to my sibling for other reasons.)

I have a paternal cousin as well but we're more half-cousins as my dad's mom had a few different men in her life and I don't actually know if he does have full bio-siblings. I don't really know if it's worth it to reach out to her because with all the technicalities and separations and adoptions and half-relatives I don't know whether I can ask her to ask around, or if I can just ask her, or what.

Anyway whatever it's just easiest to explain my ethnicity as being Metis because talking with others and stuff it seems like maybe this is the best way to label myself, to explain my complicated history and acknowledge that my blood ties are not what makes me me, but rather my ethnic ties. I have traditions and beliefs and ancestors I'm reconnecting with and trying to find.

Not all my ancestors were great people. But it is interesting as heck to learn about them. (Especially seeing pictures and some of the weirder resemblances from like, 5th great grandparents.)

Also one of my greats of grandparents crossed the US-Canada border several times in his life and near the end of them the border agent wrote "seems odd" on the thing and I haven't found any explanation for why he was crossing the border either lol which is pretty dang interesting imo.

- anyway idk I think I'm good ?? have been getting a lot of new interests and hobbies lately which feels good, feels right

i'm getting muscles because of them hormones and probably eating healthier or whatever and drinking more water and just livin life as best i can

could use some more dollars however but what can u do when welfare doesn't go up to match minimum costs of living haha :)

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