#i think i'm ready for the serotonin hit

[solargrove]

kind of rambly post under the cut but ive just been going through it lately so if you're interested in taking a peek inside my head then feel free to read it lol

so lately ive been struggling mentally pretty badly, it's been that kind of depression that is so deep and so intense that it takes a long time to fully come out of it. the past few days i've felt happy at times, like.. i've spent time with friends and with family, and during those moments, i do feel genuinely happy! but as soon as i get back by myself in my room, that wall of emptiness just smacks me in the face like a ton of bricks, and i feel that absolute lowest of lows. i've taken a step back from being online, and in doing so, i've removed myself temporarily from the lives of friends that i've made online, and i feel guilty for it? even though what i'm doing is for my own mental wellbeing, as i don't think it would be very fair to my friends for me to try and hold conversations when i don't think i have very much to offer in the state i've been in, i still just feel bad and like i've been a bad friend by taking that time and space for myself. today, however, i've woken up feeling a bit lighter and brighter, so i'm trying to get myself up and around and back to where i WAS when things were going great.

but i realize now that i've not just taken a break from being online, but also from the sims. i was starting to get really frustrated with the way things in my game were going, and i am not feeling inspired to play with my current save right now. eventually, i want to try and play in that save again, but for now, i think i just need to take a step back from it and once im ready, i can maybe do some gameplay there again. i've been thinking about making a current household and just playing on my own for a while, maybe not sharing things as often. as much as i try to pretend it doesn't matter, numbers kind of do matter to me lol, and when a gameplay post doesn't perform well when i've put a lot of work into it, as a perfectionist, it really tends to get me down and it dashes my motivation almost completely lol.

in the meantime though, i have started a new animal crossing island on my second switch! my main island is kohaku (which im transforming into a studio ghibli inspired island lol) but my new island is called wisp! and my goal with this island (which will be a dreamy, green and white forestcore theme) is to 100% the game! in my terms, that's doing things like completing all nook mile stamps, donating all bugs/fossils/sea creatures/art to the museum, having 10 villagers i like (and obtaining their portraits!), etc.! so far, i've been making really good progress with the bugs and fish in the museum, and it really has been the one saving grace for my mental state these days haha. it's amazing the amount of serotonin i've been getting from these little anthropomorphic animals.

if you happen to read this, i appreciate it lol. i do want to resume playing the sims eventually, but only when i feel like i'm ready. i feel like with my current save, i've been teetering on the edge of burnout for a while, and i finally hit that and i just don't have any interest in playing for now. but i promise i will eventually! and this is not me announcing any sort of hiatus, i still will be around reblogging stuff, and i may even get into posting some acnh stuff on this blog as well! who knows! but yeah. that's been life lately. lol. i hope everyone here has been well! i hope september can bring us all the happiness and stability we deserve <3

[whumpbug]

Hello Bug!! I'm the anon who wrote the Christmas fanfic, and I'm so so glad you liked it!!! (I was actually super nervous about your reaction so all the positive things you said about it were very reassuring)

Gonna reread what you said about it so many times because it is such a source of serotonin

Anyway, you asked a few questions!!! which I would be happy to answer :)

Reference to the hypothermia fic?

Yes!!! Good job catching that!!

Both the old lady and the brother were intended to reference that fic. However what I didn't take into account while writing was that this would make Quinn and Temo related and my intention was to have a bunch of people Who Don't Necessarily Know Each Other coming together for a common goal

So YES they were both references but I'm gonna go with saying that the old lady was a different old lady but Temo's brother was indeed the kid from the hypothermia fic. if you want that to be canon that is

What's in the box?

I'm gonna be completely honest, the reason why I initially left it ambiguous was partially because I thought it'd be sweet to leave it open ended and partially because I. couldn't think of anything

I was gonna let you decide

BUT I have done some thinking and out of all the ideas I had, there's one I like the best. It's a new Vigil suit.

The nurse and all the kids gave a little bit of money to be able to afford it, the nurse with wages and the kids either with allowance or what they could persuade their families to lend them for a good cause. My idea is that Archie's original suit got super messed up (torn, stained et cetera) so they wanted to get him a shiny new one. The way they did this was by commissioning someone (who was willing to make it for half price because. cmon it's VIGIL) ahead of time so it would be ready for Christmas. All the kids have been patients at the hospital for at least a month, unfortunately. But FORTUNATELY, it gave them lots of time to plan this!!! Yes they have been planning this since before Archie was even shot. No they did not expect him to be shot. They actually had no idea how they were going to get the suit to him

The other gifts weren't planned though. They came up with those after the incident because they thought he deserved a little more :)

---

Alright!! Now that that's done, here's a little something extra

NATALIE Fifteen years old. Her favorite thing about Vigil is his kindness. It really is that simple. She loves how he's always been so openhearted and willing to help anyone who needs it. He's patient, compassionate and remarkably selfless. He saves people from disasters, but he also stays with them afterwards to make sure they're okay. She understands how thin he spreads himself, and she really appreciates it.

QUINN Five years old. Her favorite thing about Vigil is his bravery. She's absolutely amazed by how much he does every day. She notices how courageous he is, how strong someone has to be to do the things he does. When she grows up, she wants to be exactly like him.

CUAUHTEMOC (Temo) 10 years old. His favorite thing about Vigil is his resilience. No matter what happens, he's always back the next night. No matter how hard he's hit, he gets back up. Temo's life hasn't been a walk in the park, but Vigil gives him so much motivation to be strong. He's his idol. (He's been making crayon drawings of Vigil since Archie first started out as a vigilante. A lot of them are hung up in his room)

ESPERANZA 7 years old. Her favorite thing about Vigil is his enthusiasm. She can tell how passionate he is about helping people. He reminds her a lot of her late older sister — someone who seemed to put everything she was into what she loved. Vigil is brave, and he's willing to keep going no matter how hard it gets, but he's also happy. Esperanza wants to achieve that happiness someday. She's a little worried about him, though, which is why she has so much appreciation for the people who return the favor and go out of their way to help him. People like Simon.

THE NURSE (whom I have spontaneously decided is named Fred) 35 years old. His favorite thing about Vigil is the happiness he leaves behind. The kids who get to go home to their parents. The lovers who would have died, but instead they're strolling down the street hand-in-hand. It's the kind of thing that can never be truly repaid. But Vigil deserves a city that tries.

And here's a collective note they left for when their beloved hero woke up (Fred wrote Quinn's addition, but she drew the smiley face and signed her name) "Hi Vigil! I hope you like our gifts. Thank you so much for everything. -Natalie" "We love you Vigil!!! Get well soon 😄 -Quinn" "You probably get this a lot but you're my hero, Vigil. I hope you like my book -Temo" "Hi Vigil you're the best! REMEMBER TO HAVE A COOKIE -Esperanza" "Take it easy, okay? You only have seven lives left -Fred"

As always I love your ocs so much Bug :)

HI AGAIN ANON!!! i'm so glad i was able to be encouraging because you deserve it!!! the fic was so so so good!

✮⋆˙

thank you again for such amazing piece!! i was going to respond to everything BUT. expect my addition to the fic shortly. my "responses" are there!

the little note and the reasons they love vigil are so CUTE ANON i hope you know that. i love these characters so much. i truly plan on trying to incorporate them into future fics as little easter eggs because they are so well fleshed out and definitely important to archie now!!!!!

okay thats enough of me yapping! i'm going to go edit my fic so hopefully itll be up in at most a few hours! thank you again anon!!!

✮⋆˙

[youngbloodbuzz]

Hey Buzzy, this is probably gonna sound super weird and out of nowhere but I read a quote from Matt where he was talking about critical role and how he would want to pass on the torch and would love cr role and exandria to outlive him, also Laura she's saying like yeah I want Exandria to keep growing and keep being alive after the sun sets on our careers eventually. And I get that and I love that. But I was also hit with so much sadness like I don't want to have to say goodbye to them and not have them together every other Thursday night. Like I need them in the next 5 years or so, I need the serotonin boost and yeah one day I'll be ready, but not in the very near future. And then I'm like what if cr3 is the last campaign we get like that and I also feel on the verge of tears because of that one simple thought. I'm sorry I know this is stupid. What are your thoughts because you've been in this fandom for longer than me and I just really wanted to talk to somebody about critical role and how much I love them.

yea uhh i think people are getting ahead of themselves. i mean I've been wrong before on when a campaign is gonna end so really don't take my word for it, but I don't really think cr3 will be the last one. if anything I believe matt and crew would at least kindly give us heads-up at the start of a campaign that it'd be the last one so we can emotionally prepare, plus imo they're still at the peak of their popularity and career in the ttrpg actual play community.

it's inevitable that one day they'll get burnt out and the show with the OG crew will end and they'll move on to different pastures, but for now I still think they've got a bit more gas in them. and tbh I just don't wanna think about it myself lol CR has gotten me through so much shit and has given me something to look forward to every week, i'll be devastated when it ends

[acoustic-autistic-feedback]

So here it goes. I think I'm about ready to disclose all my insecurities, and vulnerabilities and defects to you. Just please know I really hate these things about myself. I acknowledge them and really want to work through them. But I can't alone.

*defects*

I lash out / can't think straight / get stuck in a mental emotion or thought loop, when I am extremely sleep deprived, no relation to the wake up time just the length, somewhat as if you wake someone up abruptly and make them moody. I can overthink allot, and I mean an awfully stupid amount, where I run to stupid conclusions in my head, all of which I know would never happen, but its the struggle of having a really logical sided mind, and finding patterns in things.

If a conversation hits a nerve, I can get stuck in a mental emotional block or loop of some kind. Its like a trigger some what, I've started to see these mood locks somewhat for 3 years now, and I've got allot better. But sometimes my mood will absolutely drop, and I will mentally isolate, I don't properly take in others are saying to me, I may reply but I won't fully take it in to the point of it effecting my thought pattern or judgement of conversation or situation.

My mood can spike extremely high, really really high, its sometimes the same high feeling as taking said serotonin drug. And in that mind space, my brain is firing at full power and creativity, some of the best things I have made are when I feel like this, and sometimes. A song may come on, or someone will say something to me that really hits me, or I watch something. And my mood will extremely plummet, around my lowest level, its why I feel like a bungee cord sometimes.

I think far too much when I'm not mentally distracted, my mind can run a thousand miles an hour when I'm not physically or mentally occupied, its what causes my insomnia. I try my hardest to keep occupied but sometimes I cant and especially more so recently since I haven't had a computer, or having been able to make things :( Its my passion.

I play piano, as a emotional vent somewhat. I feel so many things on a daily and I try to self consolidate allot of the time to keep them in. But sometimes it gets so much I can't express, or think of any words to explain these feelings. So I pour my heart out in playing piano, the only time I can is when I'm not in range of anyone else, and its when I can actually think to create different melodies. Only after I have been sad and then I'm happier, I end up looping those ones. Rather than creating. Its as if extremely high emotions make me become physically creative, however extremely sad emotions make me become auditorily creative.

*vulnerabilities*

I feel vulnerable if someone targets or takes a dig at my autism, I only joke about it with 3 people, my little floof, and my two friends I've known since I was 12. I use to get bullied allot growing up through secondary, allot which really made me depressed and go through self harming. This was way prior to understanding sarcasm.

I only really started to pick up on sarcasm when I was maybe 14/15. And its caused me to overly use it allot, even when I'm not being mean I will jokingly use it but some people wont pick up on it being a jokingly manor

There are more but I have to think on them when they happen.

*insecurities*

I'm self conscious about how I look, my hair, the side of my face, my left arm, my feet, my noise.

I will edit this, and re-post the more I see happen in myself again.

[stormyoceans]

Monica, i hope things get better for you soon. With your work, with your insomnia and in general. I just wanted to appear in your askbox and share some love. I don't have new camboy Talay headcanon for you yet, but I'm working on it. It's just... I tried to write the morning after and for some reason it's not easy. Instead of this, just yesterday i wrote a little headcanon with subby Puen and idk why my brain is like this, it was much easier to write 😂 well, this, and dramatic headcanon how Talay actually told Puen that he's camboy... but I can't show it to you yet because it's just... a pieces of puentalay fiction, i guess. The first one happens some time after puentalay began to date in camboy universe. And the second one, well, you know. But i need to finish the morning in Puen's apartment first. It's even sad that I have nothing to make you happy with today. Have a good week 💝

ANON WHAT ARE YOU TALKING ABOUT YOU JUST MADE ME SO INCREDIBLY HAPPY WITH THIS MESSAGE 😭😭😭

the fact that you saw me struggling and decided to take the time to reach out and offer some love is already one of the sweetest and kindest things anyone has ever done for me!!!! and not only that, but you also gave me some camboy talay headcanons updates!!!!! even if they're not quite ready yet, just knowing that there are gonna be more of them in the future is making me bark and clap like an overexcited seal!!!!!

AND NOT GONNA LIE I THINK I BLACKED OUT FOR A MINUTE OR AN HOUR WHEN I READ SUB!PUEN BECAUSE TO ME PERSONALLY AS A PERSON THAT'S. A LOT. I ALSO CAN'T WAIT FOR THE ANGSTY IDENTITY REVEAL TO HIT ME LIKE A TRUCK AND LEAVE ME FOR DEAD TOO <3

as excited as i am for them, though, please take all the time you need and don't push yourself!!! the most important thing is that you keep having fun while writing them!!! thank you so much again for the lovely message, it really meant a lot and gave me a very much needed serotonin boost!!!! i hope you're doing okay and that you're gonna have a good week too 💜

[queenharumiura]

Curious about Neo thoughts about Tsuna

[Neo's game time] ||Accepting||

Readmore because this is going to get pretty long as I'm just going to ramble about things. I won't say everything that I think about Tsuna, because I don't feel like boring everyone half to death (and to save my fingers from destruction).

Let’s see… where to start, where to start. I feel like given how vocal I can be about being upset over Haru’s feelings for Tsuna throughout the series, and how it would’ve had a strong effect on her later on to have such one-sided feelings that often went neglected or not taken seriously by Tsuna in canon—I don’t actually dislike Tsuna. I would be one of the first to step up to defend him if anyone is talking badly about him. As a character, he’s got quite the development, as well as some human characteristics about him that I appreciate.

To begin with, everyone knows about Tsuna’s crush on Kyoko. One may think that it’s just a superficial, “she’s the school idol so it makes sense that he crushes on her because she’s seemingly ‘perfect’,” but that’s not exactly true. Yes, he idolizes her and he does put her up on a pedestal, but he can also see her as her own person. Yes, he did say that he goes to school to see her because she’s cute and she’s got an innocent smile, and you can think of that as being superficial, but… there is a bit more to that if you really pay attention to the series. How many students and teachers (female and male alike) make fun of him or chastise him? How many would simply ignore him because he’s ‘dame-Tsuna’? So many of them, and yet Kyoko has never been seen exhibit the same behaviors at all. We know from the way she was hit by a dying will bullet and she wanted for Nana to “Take back what you said,” to show that she has very strong feelings about people being treated well and with fairness. She was ready to fight Mochida when he suggested that he and Tsuna would “fight for Kyoko”. She doesn’t play around about things being fair and treating others with respect.

The way that even when she interacts with the children, she doesn’t look down on them, she just treats them as she would anyone else. This is a really important core trait of Kyoko’s where she just treats people as she would any other regular person. She doesn’t take their appearance, their status, etc into account. The reason why her innocent smile means so much to Tsuna- aside from it simply being cute/pretty, is the fact that she’s even smiled at Tsuna before. He is a Dame-Tsuna, and many don’t like him or they bully him, but even so, she’ll smile at him. She can talk to him regularly without a hint of her looking down on him or judging him. Even when he ABSOLUTELY embarrassed her with the way he confessed to her (no thanks to Reborn), she didn’t seem to show any form of negative emotion towards him. I am pretty confident in saying that MOST people would avoid someone who did the same to them, or at least grow to dislike the dude for embarrassing them in public. However, Kyoko didn’t do any of that. She was more apologetic to him as she reasoned that it was a joke and that she must have overreacted to it. She’s a really selfless person when you think about it that way.

Kyoko is a really nice person who has a really big heart. She’s got a got set of morals and I really like her as a character. Given the way that she is, and how kind and non-judgemental she was towards Tsuna, it makes sense that he has such a strong crush on her. Kyoko is the exact kind of person that he needed to even survive in school with the harassment he faces. You could say that he was someone who helped him get through life by the little bits of serotonin he could get. I’ve termed it something like imprinting before, where her impact on him was so strong, that he formed a bond with her that can’t be easily broken. It’s hard to break free from such a connection, though one-sided it was at the start. As the series progresses, he learns more about her, and though he was shocked by some of the things, he doesn’t get disillusioned. It’s pretty common for a lot of kids of that age to see that someone is different from expectations and snap out of their crushes. The expectations and the fantasies are very impactful for people in the young teen years, and so it’s not that hard for kids to break out of crushes for small reasons. Still, he continued to like her. He accepted all of her little quirks and continued to really like her, and I’d dare say that he grew to like her even more with all that he learned about her.

He was serious about the way he felt towards Kyoko. In tandem, Haru’s feelings for Tsuna were also serious. I’ve seen some people chalk it up to just a simple puppy love or that it wasn’t serious… and that’s not true. It lowkey upsets me when people see it, but hey! Everyone is entitled to their own opinions, so it is what it is. ANYWAYS. A lot of people have heard me gripe about the way that Amano uses the girls to highlight her main character. A Dame-Tsuna who doesn’t really have a lot of friends, isn’t athletic, or anything—and yet he gets girls. Kyoko does show interest in him in canon, and then you have Haru. MY SWEET GIRL, HARU. She was used as a foil to show that regardless of how ‘Dame-Tsuna’ he is, there is still a girl out there who can like him. She’s dedicated to him too. Just like how Tsuna barely looks at other girls, Haru only had eyes for him. It is possible for a loser like Tsuna to have such a dedicated girl who loves him. Not only that, but it’s been shown on various occasions that Haru can get along with a wide variety of characters. She’s very adaptable and she’s got the attitude to put up with a lot of people. She’s also very dedicated and self-motivated. She’s smart and very caring. She’s faithful and she’s willing to die for those that she cares for. She is shown to be a girl who is like Kyoko- someone who is also very popular but with a super high sociability stat. Yes, Kyoko is popular, but she does keep some people at length.

Haru is the opposite where she just makes friends wherever she goes and she’s generally very well-liked. With how adaptable she is, she can be put in a room with different people and be able to survive just fine. She can hold her own against Gokudera’s temper. She is a great older-sister figure for the kids, and as an athlete herself she can probably get along just fine with Yamamoto and Ryohei. She’s polite and she does like some more traditional things/aesthetics, so as long as she doesn’t go overboard, she should be able to get along with Hibari. IF the Haru Haru interviews are to be considered semi-canon, than this BRAVE GIRL managed to get a selfie with Hibari and LIVE to tell the tale. Homegirl is also the one who named Hibird. Like, Haru… why are you everywhere. Aside from being the foil, I do believe that Amano also used Haru to be the ‘look, she could be so compatible with alllllllllllllllll these people, but she chose Tsuna’. The immense anger and pain this gives me is something you cannot physically understand.

Haru and Tsuna are parallels in that way where they both have strong feelings for someone but people may not view it to be serious. For Tsuna, they believe it’s just a simple crush someone has on any school idol. It’s more than that. Kyoko is someone who actually helped him push forward in life and want to at least try sometimes. Because of her presence, he did try hard in some instances and that’s really important Tsuna at the start of the series didn’t want to do anything and didn’t particularly care for his life one way or another. Haru’s love is often looked down upon because they think that she just over-glorifies her loved because he saved her and--- THAT ALSO UPSETS ME??? Like, Haru loves Tsuna for many reasons, like the fact that he’s kind, and that he’s so brave. She has such immense trust in him because she trusts in HIS CHARACTER. She appreciates him because she sees him as a good person. She sees him as a guy who is caring towards all sorts of people, troublesome or otherwise. (Look, if he can put up with Gokudera and Hibari? The dude is a saint lololol) Not to mention, that all these kids seem to like him and Haru ADORES children and sees them as innocent little angels. If kids like Tsuna that much, he HAS to be a good person. (Similar to how Hibari attracts all the animals so he must be a good person deep down. Gap moe? Lol)

She is not blinded by love as many would suggest (which also upsets me). IF that were the case that she was blinded by love, she would’ve looked past when she thought he was abusing Lambo. She was absolutely willing to drop him like a hot potato the moment she believed that he changed. Still, she is an intellectual, and she’s willing to test things out, for science! She has to make sure she has the facts before she jumps to do something drastic like saying goodbye to her love. When she thought he murdered someone, she was willing to stay with him because she had immense faith that if he had killed someone, it had to be for a good reason like self-defense. She didn’t even question it, because she TRUSTS him. She didn’t fear him at all, and that really shows how much she trusted him. She also had all the expectations that he’d turn himself into the police and she’d wait for him. It shows the depths of her feelings towards him that she was willing to wait years for him. Not only that, it shows that she thinks that he’s a law-abiding citizen who will do what is just. Given how he’s fought for people and protected people- it makes sense that she sees him that way.

Tsuna is a coward, he’s not smart, and he’s not athletic—but despite that, he does his best for his friends. He may embarrass himself, but he will do it: FOR HIS FRIENDS. That is such a big part of his character. He’s willing to DIE for his friends. He may hardly yell at people, but in the times that he does, it’s because he cared for them. He doesn’t want people to sacrifice themselves for him or for some ideal. What he wants is for everyone to be safe and happy. Throughout the series, you get to see so many character development arcs, and for him: it’s the journey of learning about himself and learning how to stand up for himself. Yes, he’s always argued that he never wanted to be the next Mafia boss but it always had the feeling that he was just complaining and saying so out of fear. Towards the end of the series, there is more conviction in his tone when he says he’s against being the next mafia boss. Many people hate the ending as they feel that he hadn’t changed at all—but he did! The way he talks to people has changed!

When asking everyone to fight alongside him to fight against Bermuda? He stood proud and strong! He asked for all of them to help him and to fight together! He formed so many bonds and had the respect of EVERY. SINGLE. PERSON. IN. THAT. ROOM. That was such a powerful scene! He had grown so much! He has more confidence in himself and his bonds now. He is able to advocate for himself better and not bend to the knee so easily to what anyone else demands of him. He’s grown so much—but let’s also not forget? Throughout the entire KHR series, not that much time had actually passed. If I recall correctly, the series started when he was a first year and then it went into his second year and the series ends. He never made it to third year, which means that you could argue that maybe a year or a year and a half at most was the duration of the KHR series. For that short amount of time? He’d developed immensely!

Now, I will say that there was one thing about his writing that disappointed me. For someone who had no friends and was bullied for so much of his life, he adapted to having friends/subordinates really quickly. It felt like he just accepted the fact that they wanted to be his friends and he never doubted that. He never really showed a time where he was worried about them leaving him for whatever reason. Though, that isn’t the main focus of the KHR series, so I get it. Still, it was a bit unrealistic in my eyes. I would’ve liked to see more skepticism on his part, or more of an awkward phase of him acclimating to actually having friends. Like him being so confused by having people around him, wondering if he’s dreaming, questioning when they’ll finally see him as the loser he is and leave him. It wasn’t something that really was showcased often at all. Maybe one or two times. I would’ve liked to see more of it, but oh well!

I could talk about the ways that he interacted with the girls, but I already typed a lot so I’m too lazy to say anything else. So, I’m going to wrap things up here! I’ll answer anything about my thoughts on Tsuna if you have anything specific you wanted to know.

[pastelwitchling]

How's everyone's reading going? I always struggle to pick up more than kindle unlimited sports romances when school and work start, but I'm really pushing myself past that stress in small ways.

Here are the books I'm currently reading, just finished, and am hoping to get to soon that I really wanted to talk about:

The Sun and the Star (read): This book is pure serotonin. It's one of the longer Percy Jackson books, but I never felt the length for a single second. There were definite moments where I could tell someone other than Rick Riordan had taken over writing, but that doesn't change how fun and romantic the book was. What an absolute treasure.

Scoring Position (read): kindle unlimited mlm hockey romance. I just finished this today actually, and it ended up getting a lower rating than what it had been for most of the book, but I'm still glad I read it. It did offer a good palette cleanser, and though I didn't end up loving it the way I'd hoped I would, I would still recommend it for a nice time.

Under the Whispering Door (currently reading): I tried reading this a few months ago and DNFed after chapter five or something. I felt like the humor was hit-and-miss, I thought Wallace was a little too annoying, but I knew that I didn't want to DNF it for good. Why? I really liked Hugo, Mei, and Nelson, and the teashop. I thought there was some good potential there. I have to drive a lot to school and work, and I figured that since I couldn't enjoy reading this physically, then maybe I would have a better time on audiobook, annnnd... yeah. The narrator is phenomenal, I would highly recommend this audiobook if you couldn't get into the paperback. He has a way of reading in SUCH a funny way that I was suddenly laughing at lines I didn't think were funny the first time. I've got less than 3 hours of the audiobook left, and I'm having a great time. It's not anything groundbreaking, and I think the first half was very slow and repetitive, but it really has got me thinking about death and life a little bit more, and I really enjoy these characters. I now love Wallace, he's hilarious and becomes so easy to love, and I can't wait to see how this story ends.

House of Sky and Breath (currently reading): Anyone else really have trouble reading physical books when they're super stressed or overwhelmed? That's kind of where I am. I'm annotating and tabbing my paperback copy, I'm 10 chapters in, but I feel like I just don't have the strength right now to physically hold a book, you know? The first book in particular already took me so long to read because of its length (you're not Order of the Phoenix, STOP trying to be Order of the Phoenix, not every story can carry that kind of page count!), and now I just feel like I'd be going through it faster if I can read it digitally. I won't get my ebook copy from the library for over 2 weeks, so I might just try to read as much as I can now, and then finish with the ebook. I know the big spoiler at the end, but beyond that, I have no idea what happens in this book, and I can't wait to find out.

Books I want to pick up next:

Harry Potter and the Deathly Hallows: Part of last year's reread so that I can start this year's reread. I'm afraid, but it must be done.

Percy Jackson and the Chalice of the Gods: I think I was subconsciously waiting until after the show ended to dive back into this world, and I'm just ready to spend all day with my favorite demigod (and satyr) trio.

House of Flame and Shadow: Is this a shock to anyone? I should've read HoSaB sooner so I would be ready for this book now, but I overestimated by reading speed, so here we are. I hope to get to it before any spoilers start circulating.

Emily Wilde's Encyclopaedia of Faeries: I have more books on my physical TBR, but this is one of the lightest and I think I need that.

The Paladin's Shadow: 'Nough said. Anything by Tavia Lark is gold.

I love talking about books so much, so please do let me know what you're reading now, how you're feeling about it, what you'd like to pick up soon. It's always fun to me to discuss books, and I'd really like to talk more about them on my tumblr from now on. I still have it tagged rin reads if you want to filter that out though.

[lunapaper]

Album Review: 'So Much (For) Stardust' - Fall Out Boy

No one liked M A N I A. Not even Joe Trohman, it turns out… 

In an interview with Rolling Stone, the Fall Out Boy guitarist spoke about his frustrations with the band’s 2018 record, with a more rock-oriented album being scrapped early in the process. 

‘I’d say, ‘I’m gonna extricate myself from this. This is not what I want to do,'” he recalls. “‘When you have some stuff together, give it to me. If you want me to throw some ideas on there or whatever, I’ll do it in my recording studio.’ And I did that a little bit, but overall, I stayed pretty much out of it, more or less.  

‘Mania has some cool ideas and interesting stuff in there. But it didn’t work as well, and I can’t say I love it. That’s what leads me, hopefully, to go back to making a record… with guitars, bass, drums, vocal. I love synthesizers, synthesizers that we play. We can play music; let’s play the music. Let’s not go for samples. Let’s not try to reach for singles. At this point, we’ve had so many hit singles. Do we really even need to reach for singles anymore? I think we should just make a cool record.’ 

And he’s right: Fall Out Boy don’t need hit singles. As elder statesmen of the emo-rock scene, they’ve got nothing else left to prove. And were they ever a singles band? 

So, let’s cut to the chase: Fall Out Boy’s latest album, So Much (For) Stardust is nowhere near as bad as its predecessor. Probably because it’s super tame in comparison, mostly returning to the chart-friendly rock roots of Save Rock and Roll and 2015’s American Beauty/American Psycho.  

‘Hold Me Like a Grudge,’ easily the album’s best track, goes full ‘Another One Bites the Dust’ with its tense, bass-fuelled groove, along with some MJ-style vocal inflections from Patrick Stump. 

So Much (For) Stardust is at its best when it’s delivering straight-up rock bangers. ‘Love From The Other Side’ has a belter of a chorus, along with moody strings to help heighten the intensity, while ‘Heartbreak Feels So Good’ harks back to the urgent, pacey riffs of the past, proving why Trohman is such a key ingredient to the band’s sound. 

But then, after such a promising build-up, the record takes a sharp nosedive in quality. 

‘Fake Out’ is pure corn, sounding like a rejected JoBros cut from 2008. ‘Heaven, Iowa’ and ‘I Am My Own Muse’ embody the same blustery melodrama found on M A N I A. ‘What a Time to be Alive’ is the obligatory COVID track that already feels pretty dated (‘Sometimes, you wonder if we're ever lookin’ back/At a picture of 2019/And sayin', "That's the way, the world, it used to be/Before our dreams started burstin’ at the seams"/We're out here and we're ready, we're here and we're ready/To livestream the apocalypse’).  

‘So Good Right Now,’ meanwhile, veers dangerously close into Viva Las Vengeance territory with its brassy horns and chintzy strings, bursting with that insufferable theatre kid energy. ‘And all of our wildest dreams, they just end up with a-you and me,’ goes the track, ‘So, let's drive until thе engine just gives out.’ Lyrics-wise, it’s basically just ‘Don’t Let the Light Go Out,’ Part 2. 

I grow more and more weary of Pete’s lyrics with each album, at his pseudo-intellectual worst on the pointless interlude ‘Baby Annihilation,’ the bassist reciting teenage-level verse over spooky keys and gloomy synths (’The first time I took the mask off, just had another one on underneath/I'm just melted wax on a birthday cake, another year fades away/Charcoal crushed, pixie fever, angel dust/Stuck in a wasteland we covered in glitter and broadcast just for a little serotonin’). The album’s other interlude, ‘The Pink Seashell,’ takes a snippet from the 1995 Gen X classic, Reality Bites, starring Maya Hawke’s dad, yet adds no real value.  

I kinda struggle to grasp what the overall theme of So Much (For) Stardust is supposed to be. At the beginning of the album’s promo cycle, the band sent out postcards to a select group of fans, hinting at a beach resort-style dystopia – something that actually left me rather intrigued. But other than the ‘The Pink Seashell’ interlude, it’s never referenced again on the record.  

Look, I get you gotta get fans’ attention somehow. But why bother coming up with a gimmick if you’re not gonna expand on it? The beach resort-style dystopia doesn’t even appear on the album cover!  

Despite a promising start, So Much (For) Stardust musters a ‘meh’ at best. It’s pleasant enough, but not all that memorable an effort.  

It was probably for the best, though, that the Fall Out Boy went back to safe and familiar territory after the complete shitshow that was M A N I A. That they can deliver such a body of work this far into their career is an achievement, and admittedly does feature some decently tight drumwork, blistering riffs and some of Stump’s strongest vocals yet. 

I’m no doubt going to be dismissed by some as just longing for the past and gleefully told to ‘stay mad.’ But as a longtime FOB fan, I’m tired. I just want more reliable and straight-up rock bangers like ‘Hold Me Like a Grunge.’ For fuck’s sake, I’d do anything for more of that chaotic Pax-Am Days-style punk. No more goofy experiments, no more cynical shots at mainstream appeal. We don’t need another Panic! on our hands… 

It doesn’t quite sparkle as bright as I hoped, but So Much (For) Stardust could’ve been a hell of a lot worse.  

– Bianca B. 

[lil-kissy]

Alright I know at this point I probably sound like a broken record but when it comes to threads and replies I'm pretty chill.

Sure quick replies are nice, it's great to be able to just keep on things going and sometimes can help maintain the interest and motivation plus at least for me my ADHD often craves that immediate serotonin boost that comes with seeing a reply so. So waiting is hard I won't deny it,

But that doesn't also mean I don't understand the myriad of reasons that exist and while just like waiting for a package to be delivered being patient isn't easy. I can and will wait till my partner is ready to continue, if ever you see me pop into your IMs I promise it's only out of curiosity as well as wanting to try of course wanting to try and keep some communication with you guys- and obviously even for those I don't necessarily expect an immediate response.

I try to ask before simply throwing an link to an old thread- in case the person already does have it saved and avoid feeling awkward but in either case whether you see me asking 'hey you need/want a link to thread' or I've sent a link to one of our threads that I know I personally wouldn't mind continuing I simply want people to know that there is no pressure to respond to it right away or even at all.

Consider it a personal interest checker and as well as a casual reminder- lord knows I've unintentionally become distracted and forgotten about threads (or talked with friends that hadn't realized or forgotten themselves that the ball was in their court now so to speak)

Of course as always that doesn't mean a reply is mandatory and if whatever the reason interest / motivation ect isn't there and would rather drop the thread as is that's cool.

While I'm more then happy to discuss and see if there's any spark left, any potential in resurrecting an old thread or seeing if there's anything to be used to spring board I don't want any one to think or take that as me trying to force a thread - I simply like at least trying to explore other angles and possibilities but it still doesn't mean we gotta.

-Bonus alternative is if there is still some mutual interest but are both at block on exactly what to do, that's when I'll just suggest shelving it and putting it on the back burner.

So it doesn't have to be completely dropped dead but also allowing for focusing on new things while letting it rest- and basically at that point if it'll either just fade away and die on its own as other stuff takes off or maybe we'll finally reach a break/ find the missing piece to get the gears moving again and boom off we go.

I've had both happen- sometimes even just a change of direction/plan helps,

example: Something that started out as a regular sick/hurt character thread/plot and let's say we came up with potential things to happen but oops a snag was hit on how to continue , maybe it's as simple as well what is Muse A's motivation for doing 'thing' or piecing together a okay why couldn't the do 'thing' or why be at 'place'

or from personal experience- there was a plan/idea but life happened and now we both don't remember what exactly it was, at best remember fragments of ideas but aren't sure of how they fit or what the bigger picture was.

But hey guess what "X just happened in Y thread so what if that connects to muse in Z..."

Does it always work nah and as always sometimes a thread is best left alone and dropped and that's A-okay. And heck just cause the thread itself is dropped doesn't mean we have to leave/drop whatever idea we were working with in it. Take it rework it, hell start the idea completely over, fresh slate with new ideas brought to the table.

Yeah okay so I don't always drop threads easily or like to totally give up on a plot/idea but I also will never try to force one to continue and am totally fine with letting them drop if need be.

--

tl;dr

At the end of the day I can wait as along as needed, just let me know if I actually should be waiting time to try something new and understand that if you ever seem me toss a link to a thread into your IMs / ask about any you want to continue,

Basically picture me holding up a game or a movie and asking if you're (still) interested in playing/watching it, and know whether to continue putting it on- be it now or later- or search for something else. That's it. Nothing more.

[lovecolibri]

SaL anon here bestie, here to pour ice cubes down the back of your office mate's shirt as well as anyone getting pissy in yours or others inboxes for daring to have an opinion the screentime usage on a supposed ensemble show. Seems like a perfect time to talk about the latest LS episode, so get ready my friend, I've got some opinions. So first the 4 things I liked, in no particular order were Captain Judd, Grace and Judd, the group sending pics to Marjan, Owen showing up to dinner. Now let's

talk about the rest of the episode where my thoughts fluctuated between "I don't give a shit" and "are you fucking kidding me". Let's start with the big, glaring issues. Did this fucking show, with all it's promotion of its diverse cast, just try to make the fucking nazi's sympathetic and victims? Fuck off show, the fact that the white supremacists didn't choose violence doesn't suddenly absolve them and make them good people. Violent racism may be on the rise, but by far the common and well practiced racism is institutional. I live in fucking Texas where we have such fabulous legal decisions like abortion bounties, only have 1 place to turn in mail-in ballots per county even if that county has millions of people, and saying its NOT actually necessary for outdoor workers to take a 10 minute water break every 4 hours, even if it's summer and temperatures reach 110+ degrees. Those last two heavily effect particular demographics and if you think the groups that vote for the people that allow those things to happen, that actively encourage it and condone it, are somehow redeemable because they didn't choose violence I have some choice words for you (sorry if that sentence made no sense, i lost some of my thoughts mid raging). To then top that off with a "let's give the violent white supremacist a sob story" and I'm officially disgusted. So yeah, anything tangentially related to this plot just didn't hit for me. And then we wasted so much of the last 6 episodes on this bullshit just to end with this makes me want set Tim's hair on fire. More minor complaints. We're a third of the way through the season and Mateo has had like 5 lines, do better show. And Carlos is just back to work and fine, sure, whatever. This is minor since I didn't expect them to address this till later, but we better get a nice looong conversation between him and his parents. Okay, bitching done, on to OG spec soon!!!

Hello my friend! I got this right before dinner last night and then I was out of spoons for the day but I am vibrating on like, 2000% of my normal serotonin thanks to OG, plus the hard mango soda I had when I got home because it was A Week, so I'm READY to do ALL OF THE THINGS! Also, I finally got to go home so I'm warm now because it was another freezing day in the office. I miss working at home 😭😭😭 ANYWAY, lets talk about LS so I can get to your OG ask because I have THOUGHTS!

This week did have some good stuff, more actually than I was expecting because we got the group being at least FINALLY involved in this plot. Captain Judd is my absolute beloved and I loved seeing a bit of his dynamic with Paul again (that ice storm arc was SO GOOD for them!). More Captain Judd if Owen is going to bitch about his job being the equivalent of being "benched". 🙄🙄🙄 Grace continues to be The Best and her and Judd's relationship is everything to me. I really enjoyed the team kinda goofing off but also getting reminded that the danger is real (also that little kid DID deserve an award!) because they ARE good in the field but that's not always enough. The group making sure to send their failure pics to Marjan is so on brand for them and I'm glad we at least got a mention that they're keeping in touch as promised. I love love love that Carlos and the 126 all got to be involved in this plot finally and we got to see an exciting emergency. I also ADORE little bitty TK holding on to his little bitty backpack straps. He's so pocket-sized and baby! I also really enjoyed Owen stopping by the loft and TK and Carlos making room for him. Judd wasn't wrong, he HAS been lonely and it was good to see him choosing to reach out to his son and work on that bonding instead of moping around at home. I'm really excited for dadzilla Owen and momzilla Andrea, it's gonna be a blast!

Now, as you said, for the not so good.

No only did the show try to make the group of nazis out to be the victims they also tried to make the young guy, who got kicked out of the nazi club for being too radical about wanting to DO nazi shit instead of just talking about it, into a victim because there was someone even WORSE and yeah he wanted to DO shit but maybe not that much. I mean, come on, poor kid just wanted to harass people trying to live their lives and protest people having rights because he doesn't like them, and maybe shout at some local politicians! He didn't want HIS family to get hurt in all that so now it's like, super sad and hard for him because his family is the one affected this time! Isn't he just the most victim-y victim to ever victim? 🙄🙄🙄🙄🙄🙄🙄 Sidebar, I just watched Bad Call, and like, THAT guy was a victim! He was picked up by bad guys, and forced to rob a bank while strapped to a bomb. You know who ISN'T a victim? Some white dude who was trying to make other people's lives miserable, and fucked around and found out! Zero sympathy.

The show wasted SO MUCH TIME on this plot and for what?! For them to make it seem like only one guy was a "bad apple" and all the other guys were victims? To kill off some rando woman that no one knew or cared about? Only to not even mention that it was Owen's fault she was in the building at all anyways because he couldn't keep his mouth shut?! For us to hear the writers say through Owen that being a fire captain is boring and they really wish they would have made this spinoff a police show instead?!?! The ONLY moderately enjoyable thing to come out of this storyline was Owen getting some funny quips and him and O'Brian being able to play off each other so well. Which, and I cannot stress this enough, could have happened around actual calls where Owen was doing his fucking job.

ANYWAY

Agreed that I'm TIRED of waiting for other characters billed and marketed as main characters to get more than a couple lines of "Yeah, Cap! On it, Cap!" so Owen can waste all the screen time doing NOT first responder work. And giving one "whole" episode to Marjan or Mateo or Paul or Carlos does NOT make up for them not having a consistent presence in every episode. Carlos had a HUGE trauma and it hasn't even come up in a background conversation for TWO EPISODES! Yes, I think it's going to come up more in depth later this season but zero follow up at all?! After he DIED?! Not even a single mention?! *Athena voice* InSANity. And it's doubly frustrating that this is still SUCH an issue so many seasons in, simply because the rest of the characters are so good that people are willing to put up with skipping Owen stuff so they can watch the rest of it. It has never made sense to me why shows talk down to/hate even slightly catering to their hardcore fanbase because those are the people that will make sure to tell EVERYONE about the show, and convince people to watch it with them, and will get the show talked about enough for journalists to write about it, and will KEEP the show going and talked about and beloved even after it's over!

Okay, I think I got it all out. Thanks as always for sharing your thoughts and coming over to be salty with me in my online living room. On a happier note, we finally have some good fucking food to talk about with OG so I'm gonna go work on that post next, and look forward to new LS being about Tommy!

[reblogging4thewin]

Personal stuff; mostly just writing for catharsis

receives text from my mom asking if I have plans for the weekend

mood: 8 ----> 6

stress: 2.5 ----> 5

the debuff is temporary; it just brings down the mood because maintaining boundaries (and just other things I don't feel like getting into) is emotional labor, and because I really don't like explaining anything to them.

Not that there's anything to explain in this instance. "Yes; I have a lot to do over here; sorry." is how that generally goes. But this week, like, there was a lot of stuff that led to the (workplace) suggestion that I swap out a weekday this week and work Saturday instead.

So although I don't have to explain all that backstory that led to that being a good idea here, or even say what I'm doing at all, the prospect/the idea that I may be facing an interaction where I'd be explaining something to her immediately knocked my mood down and my stress up.

I came up with a one-sentence reply that satisfies the urge of communicating that 'I have a specific obligation that I don't normally have, so don't try to guilt trip me into changing my plans for you.' And there was no issue. So that was good. But the mood hit is a gut reaction before anything at all happens conversation-wise. It's like a fight or flight response to the "do you have any plans" text.

Like, even the thought of having to do that, even worse with my dad (in that case having any conversation with him at all does this), typically just zaps my energy and makes it a struggle to say anything because I'm holding back and speaking (or typing) around the powerful urge to be really short about it because I very much just want the conversation to be over and would rather not have to have it again.

The holidays were a setback that took a little while to bounce back from. Coming back from the holidays was like having been stuffed in a box and having to unfurl and uncramp all my limbs - having to fluff my feathers back out. Like I feel it a little right now just from this text situation. The physical stress in my chest. It's hard to believe that every day of my life used to feel like that. Never having peace.

Thank God I have a place to live. That was one thing that struck a cord one morning - I don't remember if it was Boxing Day or New Year's Day, but we were at the breakfast table, and already things were going south that morning. I had the familiar feeling that I wanted to go home.

Except

Except, unlike all the other times I've felt that feeling throughout my life, it's no longer a meaningless un-attainable phrase cycling in my mind. It was actually an actionable thing. Because I no longer live there - I do have a home to go to.

Making myself cry here, but actually I feel a lot better. Coming down from the feelings after interacting with them is always a trip.

Anyway, I have to clear out some leftover stuff from their house at some point, but I definitely need a couple of more weeks away before I can go back there. And I have no intention of ever staying more than one night at a time until Christmas if I even stay more than one night then. (I was thinking this past new years will also be the last one I spend there. I had already planned my own new traditions for this year, but decided to go there and do our usual traditions. Next new year I may have my bonfire. We'll see.)

That's the only healthy way to do this. One single day usually goes perfectly fine. (The holidays going south on day 1 were an exception to that general rule.)

I know this won't be sustainable forever. That's a mixed bag of course but mostly a good thing. I'm just not at a point in my life overall where I'm ready for that yet. There's some tangly little bits to unwind first.

Also once my bf moves in, it will be a lot easier bc I'll have a little serotonin tap on hand, for one; two - it's easy to reply to assumptions that if I don't have specific plans my time is for them and not for me - by saying that if they'll have us both over (and let us sleep in my old bed) then great but if not I'm not going. that'll be a conversation-ender.

[shunshuntaiga]

i hate it when life gets in the way of me dicking around on tumblr with my favourite people. truly homophobic of the universe to give me serious stuff to do instead of just letting me ramble in your asks about spadi and aure >:( but anywaaaay, i'm back!! *really animated finger guns gestures* how have you been, dear? all hood, i hope. <3 may the new year treat you kindly. ok, so, i HAVE read a bunch of suburra fics in english, and i stand by my statement. yours is one of the best, you can't change my mind. 😌 the only thing i agree with is that suburra fic writers DO go hard af. them insane, talented folks don't mess around, bless their hearts. :)))) Oooh!! the whole thing starting after Lele's death and Aureliano's admission would fuck so hard, i like it. s2 and s3 aurelia is more.. polished, more distinguished. i feel like he would handle the hook up better than the s1 blond disaster. i have been laughing my ass off thinking about the absolute CLICHE that is aurelia getting knocked up in the back of the car lmfaoooo. it would be so in character for s1 spadeliano, it's Perfect!! ... oooh... i just got hit with a thought... what if he doesn't realize right away, what with all the stress of the situation back then. and even once he does, he gets the opportunity to tell spadi that night on the beach, after livia.. so, in a way... he lost his family, but also he has gained a new one... kind of... if that makes sense... i love love love your big, smart brain!!! the loop starting to manifest more and more for aureliano the more he looses spadi is si cruel and insane and i ADORE it <33 “No matter what I do it always ends the same way, where I’m on that fucking boat and you’re dead in my arms!”---- well... ouch... thank you... i didn't need my heart anymore anyway... :') AGHHHH i am so so glad the idea clicked with you too!!! one i finish my self-indulgent post s1 fix-it, i might give the time loop au a shot too... like you said, it's a good au and there is not enough of it in this fandom. <33 good luck on your fic, dear!! may you have all the inspiration and time to write you heart desires. :33

Doing much better anon, once I saw your charming little unknown user icon appear in my asks! Seeing your messages gives me so much serotonin❤️❤️

Life is so unfair certainly, I was prevented from writing because I had to do adult things as well. Though hopefully I can get back into tonight! I'm already working in chapter two of the loop fic because all our dicking around via anons (lol) has me so excited to write it!!

We're definitely gonna see Spadi go a bit feral at some point during this one, and I CANT WAIT to write it.

Right though? Season 2 + 3 Aure is polished. He's a little more mature in some ways, and I really like that version of him.

But the car scene.... hooking up in the car.... it's so tempting lol

But I also want the two of them to be emotionally ready for a baby, you know? And I feel like season 1 Spadi and Aurelia, as much as I love them, are NOT. It's the last thing they need lol.

Maybe I'll save that idea for a different fic.... ?

But yes! Loosing Livia but gaining Spadi and Rubina would be the perfect sort of full circle moment. He's definitely gaining a much better family.

Oh gosh, but that could be the thing that somewhat forsee him to grow up a little and become that polished version.... the possibilities are limitless and you are so good at making me think of them all!

And anon you're gonna have to drop that fix-it when you're done with it👀👀 I crave it.

I'd absolutely LOVE to see what you'd do with a time loop as well! It's such a fun idea and it's totally consuming my brain right now.

*I didn't need my anymore anyway*

Lol that is high praise to me. I know it's terrible but I do enjoy making people deal with my angst-y fics or ideas (knowing full well of course I'm a sucker for a happy end and I'll always write one)

[atcordare]

Fjdjfjrjr I'm glad you liked the question aaa ^^ nwn nwn nwn I really liked your answers as well, you raise some very good points.

My day was fine enough! Did some work at class, i was out doing adult stuff (ugh), I've been working on my Yuu and now I'm chilling with my cats. Pretty decent overall!

As for my own favorite characters and their gay little shows (some of them are doubling yours! I do like both points of view ^^):

—I think Kalim watches SpongeB

—I think Kalim watched Madoka Magica and he's a fan! Idk, something about the mixture of sweet youthful themes with maturity and horror and stuff would be up his alley? I do consider him to be a lil bit slightly just slightly just a lil bit fucked up in the head, with how much he mentions all of his. Very severe uh. Childhood stuff. I don't think he'd communicate that he enjoyed it though. He seems to not like to open up about the parts of him that aren't cheery and bubbly.

—He would absolutely also like ridiculous comedy though. Like. Idk "Sakamoto Desu Ga?" or "Tomo-Chan is a Girl" or. indeed as you mentioned Saiki. Also GUMBALL and adventure time.

—I think his favorite movie would be Over the Moon. Watch it it's good I cried 7 times

.

—Floyd would vary a loooot. I think he's not the kind to finish series and movies and stuff, he gets bored halfway through. I do think he'd regularly listen to true crime podcasts tho, just. SEVERELY skimming through it. And he'd be very selective with the channels too-if he doesn't like the voice narrating, if they stall too much, whatever.

—I do think he'd like BBC Sherlock though. Yeah I'm cursing him with this one yeah. Well fuck him n stuff.

—His ass also watches gumball

.

—I think Jamil enjoys angst. Movies with bad endings, people fucking up over and over again, the kind of horror media that makes sure you know you and the evil portrayed aren't that far away from eachother. Idk, I feel like it's his way of unwinding. He's not allowed to stop and feel his own emotions most of the time, so they weigh down on him and these kind of media make him feel less alone in this sense.

—I think Violet Evergarden hit him particularly hard. Also Perfect Blue and Tokyo Magnitude ☝️

.

—Idia is a danganronpa fan I can't be convinced otherwise. He just IS.

—He likes loud stuff that don't allow a lot of room for depressing thoughts, but DO allow him to think about plotholes and the quality of the writing. Danganronpa, pointless Shonen anime that suck SO SEVERELY that he spends the entire time he hate-watches it gritting his teeth and complaining on forums, sports anime, the ghost stories dub, stuff like that!

—Maybe the ocasional sappy anime where nothing ever goes wrong, like traditional magic girl shows, slice of lifey stuff, yeah. He buys tons of figures of those if they scratch the itch right. He's READY to throw down to defend the fictional girl who gives him serotonine.

Drops down here.

Hey you how's it hanging!! Hope you had a good day!!!! What do you think it's your favorite character(s)'s movie or show

HELLLLLLOOOOO IM DOING GREAT and yes i did have a great day cause i finally got hu tao crying screaming im a new happy main now (i hope your day was even better tho mwah mwah!!! 💞)

as for the question hmmmm Jamil's fave show . . . i feel like he could potentially enjoy breaking bad but he strikes me as a horror person (totally not projecting here or anything) so maybe he'd enjoy something like Silent Hill or The Conjuring movies? or maybe even something post apocalyptic like Kingdom? something a bit gory maybe!

Vil strikes me as a Bridgerton person who criticises the outfits but I think he'd like historic dramas (would like them more if they were accurate too Jdjdn). i can maybe see him enjoying Wednesday a bit even tho he didn't get the initial hype, not his fave but definitely something he likes. He probably absolutely loves Little Women tho, I can see that being top #1 for him.

I don't even think Azul has ever watched a movie or series in his life but he'd be a sucker for those business proposal shows like Dragons Den (i think that's what its called lmao 😭) and The Apprentice, he would watch the hell out of that show and take notes I know it. maybe he secretly watches romcoms as well, but i think he'd absolutely hate stuff like Friends or The Big Bang Theory. maybe likes The Office? who knows . . .

Leona is boring he probably just watched chess tournaments or sports events BOOOOOO!!! i can see him watching Queens Gambit and The Witcher and enjoying them tho, but he sleeps so often he probably hasn't seen anything lmao.

AND FINALLY KALIMM. he watches SpongeBob /hj. nah but fr he strikes me as an Encanto (Disney) person, probably watched the hell out of that movie more than once it was THAT good. i think he'd also like slice of life animes like The Disastrous Life of Saiki K or Ouran Highschool Host Club! he'd cry watching Your Lie in April. probably watched Banana Fish too and ended up crying also, but for far far far longer.

now how was YOUR day and tell me about your fave characters' movies or shows i wanna see those amazing hcs 👀

[btsbs]

.

[acewithapaintbrush]

I was bored and strolling through @sketchnwhatevr art because it always gives me a serotonin boost.

I came across the comic of Bruno hugging little Dolores and refusing to let go and paired with all the wholesome Bruno and Antonio content inspiration hit me like a speed train so please accept this little snippet as my humble offering:

****x*****x****x*******x******x******

"Haven't we been here before?"

"That's called a deja vu, hermana."

"Oh, I'm pretty sure it's called 'being a brat', hermanito!"

Bruno only huffs and turns away from Pepa, effectively hiding Antonio, who is nestled in his arms, from view.

"Bruno, seriously, give me back my son! He needs to get ready for bed."

"Nope!" Bruno obnoxiously pops the 'P' and Pepa rubs a hand over her face. You'd think she was dealing with two children. "It's not that late yet. And Tonito is happy right where he is, aren't you amigo?"

A little hand waves over Bruno's shoulder. "I wanna cuddle some more with Tio Bruno, Mama! And it's not that late yet."

The sun is setting and it is definitely that late already.

Pepa prepares herself for a fight, but before she can put her foot down, Bruno turns a little and she can see Antonio snuggle deeper into his chest. Her little boy is smiling, his eyes are closed and his cheek squished against a narrow chest.

In Pepa's mind the image is suddenly overlapped by another. A ghost of the past.

Little Dolores, clinging to her beloved uncle, arms coiled around a skinny neck and refusing to let go. And Bruno. Younger. Less burdened. Pressing his cheek against a little head and popping the 'P' as he cheekily refuses Pepa's demands for her daughter.

Pepa swallows her arguments.

She had seen how careful Bruno had been when he'd hugged a grown-up Dolores for the first time since his return. How he'd hesitated. How he'd wrapped his arms around her, slowly, as if she was made of glass, only to suddenly latch on with a fierce abandon. Dolores hadn't made a sound, had wound her arms around his neck and buried her hands into the hood of his ruana and his hair. They hadn't let go for minutes.

What stands out in Pepa's memories is not the hug, though. It's the look on her brother's face. She'd only been able to catch a glimpse of it before Bruno had hidden his face in Dolores' shoulder.

A glimpse had been enough.

Sadness. Longing. Such a raw sense of loss that it had taken Pepa's breath away.

Bruno and his sobrinas and sobrinos are very tactile with each other. Hugs and head rubs and shoulders brushing. A thousand little touches every day to remind each other that he is back and not going anywhere.

But they are too old to be picked up and carried around anymore. Too old for that full body hug where your legs dangle in the air and you can simply let yourself go boneless, secure in the knowledge that the arms around you won't let you fall.

All except Antonio.

Pepa turns away before they can see the tears in her eyes or the smile curling her lips.

"Fine. But you'll get him ready for bed. And soon!"

"Sure, no problem!"

"That includes a bath, Bruno!"

Bruno scoffs and Pepa doesn't need to turn around to know that he's poked his tongue out after her. Antonio's giggle betrays him. "Yeah yeah! You act like I've never before helped the kids get ready for bed!"

'True' Pepa thinks as she leaves them to it. 'But the other kids never insisted on their hydrophobic jaguar taking the bath with them.'

But hey! Let him find out for himself.

And if Pepa cackles with laughter an hour later as a cursing Bruno runs through Casita with a towel in his hands, trying to catch a wet Antonio riding an equally wet Parce… well, he kinda asked for it, didn't he?

[pocketramblr]

Stupid ask but how do you even start writing. Like how do I get it out. It's like I've spent too long hesitating now I'm physically incapable of getting any of it out. Am I stupid for thinking about it? Would it even work? Would anyone read it? Love your work btw, you're awesome (and honestly really smart maybe that's why you'd answer this) !!

Not a stupid question! Trust me, I teach high schoolers, and "but how do I actually start?" is never a stupid question. Usually when you can't start there's some block, for lots of different reasons- lack of inspiration, too many options, executive disfunction for many possible reasons... Lots of causes, and everyone's different, but it sounds like your biggest cause is fear- that no one will want to read it, that youre stupid. So first of all, yes someone will, and no you're not. It's normal to feel this way, and it is scary. But this isn't one of those scary things that can kill you, so remember that and try your best.

There's a niche out there for everyone's kind of writing! Did I ask myself "Huh, Pocket, does anyone actually want to read about Rei and AfO being Shoto's parents?" No because the answer would have been 'uh probably not what's wrong with you' but! Then after I wrote it! People read it! My friends ready it! And most importantly: I have fun reading it.

You're the most important reader of your writing. Now, I'll admit- my fanfics from back when I was fifteen? Ah. I do not really enjoy rereading them! Cringe! But, I know that fifteen year old Pocket had so much fun writing and reading them, and she deserves to have that as much as current Pocket does, or ten years in the future Pocket. So write for current you- other versions will figure out their own things.

Anyway, I try to be helpful, so here's a few things that help me when I can't start writing either:

Start writing something else. Starting new ideas usually gives me a hit of serotonin, and then after a scene or two sometimes I can take that energy and inertia and move it to what I want/need to work on in the first place ideas.

Talk to the writing about someone. Bouncing ideas around, answering their questions about it, picking random scenes that grab interest, brainstorming dialogue, even thinking about different possibilities and aus of it- all of that counts as writing. You're thinking about the story and shaping and developing it, so it's writing. Sometimes this leads to ideas that you can just paste onto your blank page and keep going, writing "for real.". It doesn't usually work that well for short term me though. Personally, it helps me long term- knowing someone else is interested in reading when I'm done, but not judgemental, helps in general to get started writing other times.

"five four three two one go" this I hear helps with ADHD, which can cause the block? The idea is you close your eyes and visualize what you want to start with- a character, a scene, a statement, a vibe, whatever- for five seconds, counting done. As soon as you hit "two", start writing. Open your eyes on "go." This might help you if you just need a push to start

Write it a different way. Your first draft doesn't need to be good. Put "bad version" on the top of the page if it helps. Bullet points instead of sentences, that you can flesh out later. Write just what people are saying, like a script, and block out the moments on the second write through.