#i think i'll have a lot of fun watching this show
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I can confirm this is such a thing
now that I'm an adult the best advice my moms boyfriend ever gave me was
"make something to look forward to every day, every week, every month, every year" one thing for each thing little things and big things my big year happy thing will be getting to be with my boyfriend for new years and experiencing my very first romance stuff with him : ) its so exciting and cool! My monthly stuff tends to be a fun project Im loving like writing a book, (like right now ) or making games, or otherwise having a BIG large scale project i'm working on , this sometimes goes on for months but its a HUGE source of happiness for me, this can also be visiting af riend or loved one or going to a fair of some sort!
my weekly big happy is usually going out for dinner or to a cool store or making dinner with my mom or otherwise doing something cool like that! Or doing a smaller scale craft, like I made a little top hat bag out of eva foam!
Finally my small scale things are usually small art projects, video games, watching LONG FORM content like an anime or a movie or things like that.
I think a lot of peoples issue when it comes to technology addiction also partially come from trying to feed a brain thats incredibly bored that just doesnt have something fun and stimulating going on, It offers a level of happiness thats so minor that most people wouldn't consider watching a youtube video a special treat, unless its something really specific.
(example: charlie the unicorn vs say, a tiktok compiltion, you're not going to remember that tiktok compilation years later, BUT almost everyone who's my age remembers charlie the unicorn, I'd consider the amazing digital circus this too, and asdf movies, those are all "long form content" in a way)
it's weird how that works and I love my tech so im not saying technology bad lol, just that like,I'm feeling so much better mentally now that I'm specifically searching for things Im looking for, avoiding short form content where I can, and making mindful choices about what i watch. I'd 100% consider watching an indie animated show mindful watching, I mean whoa just look at the artistic magnificence that is lackadaisy!? I'll never stop replaying that opening sequence in the first episode!
let's face it, it's NOT fun to scroll through tumblr all day finding 50 posts that really suck and one or two that are somewhat entertaining, and algorythms specifically are designed on most websites to keep you JUST bored enough and entertained enough that you keep going and keep going as long as possible and never are quite happy. Make at least one special thing for yourselves, it makes a HUGE difference, and remember to actively chose to have fun and do silly things sometimes, you're your own zookeeper, after all!
what they dont tell you about adulthood is that it’s startlingly easy to go long periods of time without having any fun at all not even a little bit. btw this causes ur brain to try to kill you with knives and hammers.
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skz "roles" as boyfriends
𓂃 stray kids "roles" if they were your boyfriend(s). like, "the kind one", "the caring one".
❀ skzㅤㅤㅤ ' ㅤㅤㅤneutral!readerㅤ
fluffㅤ ㅤ╱ㅤ 👤ㅤ minors can interact
⋆ war'ningsㅤㅤ───ㅤㅤ
"the protector one"⠀▹⠀bangchan
i think of chan a lot as a protective boyfriend, the one who is afraid of losing you. it's not something that borders on possessive, he just loves you too much. chris would be that boyfriend that you have a deal with, always talking about where you go, when you'll be back, and things like that. just to avoid unnecessary worries. i also imagine him as someone who, if he saw someone hurting you, or even on the internet through hate, he would definitely start a fight.
"the quiet one"⠀▹⠀lee know
most people think of minho as a quiet and cold person, but i don't think he's cold. he just has trouble showing it, words of affection aren't his thing. he would probably find comfort in cuddling on the couch, or watching you play with his cats. it's very comforting to see that the things you love work in harmony, everything with him is very calm, really. lee know could try to learn hobbies from you too, he would do anything to support you.
"the friendly one"⠀▹⠀changbin
BINNIE!!!! well, i have MANY thoughts about him, but i'll try to summarize. for me, he is the friendly boyfriend, who would always be willing to do anything for you. he would want to meet family, friends, everything that makes you happy. at work, bin would spend a lot of time thinking about you... i guarantee it. it's almost like a distraction. he may be big, go to the gym and everything, but with you he is so small. the type who will obey you and would like a lot of affection in the relationship. he could share his workouts with you too, but it would just be another excuse to be together.
"the artist one"⠀▹⠀hyunjin
bruh. that's SO obvious. hyunjin would be that boyfriend who would want to paint you. not just on the screen, but actually putting the paint on your body can be a really fun experience. i imagine him as something similar to lee know: a calmer, softer relationship. hyun would definitely love to share headphones with you, or listen to the music on the speaker, dance around the house, like a newlywed couple in the prime of love. he also really likes going out, his main outings would be parks, beaches, things connected with nature. i think hyunjin would be that son-in-law that your mother is proud of.
"the bipolar one"⠀▹⠀han jisung
jisung would be the one you NEVER know what to expect from. one day he may be completely affectionate, but the next day he may be stressed or not want contact. this is largely due to his work as an idol as well, but i feel like it's part of his personality as we see it on stage. despite that, i believe that han would be a good boyfriend, the one you can always count on, he would do anything for you (jisung-pre debut makes me think he would get into fights over you. A LOT).
"the provocateur one"⠀▹⠀felix
people tend to see felix as mostly a cute guy, but i imagine that in a relationship he would actually be quite provocative. like, he has that whole deep voice, he might try to whisper some words in your ear, or a pet name that he knows you love. all my hcs for felix are like this, he is really a first class provocateur. i also think he could be a guy who has calmer relationships, who follows the "step by step" process of dating, and then gets married in a ceremony after a few years. It would be a quiet relationship, but with good reasons, you know? It would never be something boring or too monotonous.
"the cold one"⠀▹⠀seungmin
this is common actually. to think of seungmin as cold. but i don't think he is THAT COLD. he may just have difficulty showing affection, whether through touch or words. but of course, at certain moments in your relationship, he will be a loving and vulnerable boyfriend. it's like lee know, actually, but a little more complicated, more difficult. for you two to date, he would need to trust you A LOT, like A LOT. i believe seung would also like to go on outdoor trips and spoil you a little, buying you all kinds of gifts.
"the hot one"⠀▹⠀jeongin
i think the stays were so busy labeling i.n as the "cute, adorable" member, precisely because he is the maknae, that they didn't notice how HOT this man is. so in a relationship, i think he would prioritize this naughty, almost provocative pose like felix, but jeongin would have a little more attitude. LOTS of touching, he likes to show affection like this: hands on your thigh (maybe innocently), hugs on your waist, longer kisses and things like that, he's almost a "needy one".
#stray kids#skz#skz imagines#skz drabbles#skz fluff#skz headcanons#kpop headcanons#kpop fluff#neutral reader#skz fanfic#kpop fanfic#kpop imagines
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My 𝐓𝐨𝐩 24 𝐒𝐜𝐫𝐞𝐞𝐧𝐬𝐡𝐨𝐭𝐬 from 2024 ⋆ ˚。⋆୨୧˚
I was tagged by @mikachusblog @aurorangen and @moonwoodhollow however I put together a recap earlier this month! Instead I'll pick about ten story moments I enjoyed from this year under the cut as well as a very special screenshot. I did want to make sure I tagged some people as well! :D
I tag: @acidheaddd @likelyamused @pink-chevalier @changingplumbob @salemssimblr
@matchalovertrait @lre333 @swiftviolets @sirianasims @lynzishell
1. January 8th: Kai shares a secret
⋆ This was a really fun flashback scene! We got to see Kai, Frances, Dan and Atlas in the earlier years of high school as well as learn that Kai has romantic feelings towards Atlas, who happens to be his first kiss! This is also where his arc officially begins in my mind!
2. March 6th: Taryn's skepticism
⋆ I remember being so proud of this scene because it was one of the first scenes I fully posed the conversation. I really enjoyed of Atlas and Taryn's mannerisms peaked through. I think this conversation while it focuses on a different subject, the nature of it shows their personalities. Taryn struggling with self confidence while Atlas's facade starts to unveil just a bit.
3. March 12th: Frances's solo
⋆ I was really proud of these poses as well as the shots. The shots of Icarus and Frances while romantic do say a lot about how each views each other. Your greatest heartbreak being how Frances feels and the deepest regret being how Icarus feels. For the cello poses, I did reference through watching performances but also real life so it was neat combining the two. I am excited for Frances's future in De Sol Valley especially when new faces are introduced to the cast. It might be similar to Atlas's prologue where Frances is the focus but just in a shorter interval.
4. March 9th: A rose and it's bumblebee
⋆ March was a good month. Maybe not for the characters, but a good month creatively for me ! I'm gonna sound so toxic but I love the tension between these two so much like hold out a bit longer please JUSTKIDDINGPFFTorami? anyways structuring taryn's monologue came out of order. the frames where she says "A stubbed toe. A scraped knee. A fall." came first. Everything else was built around those three sentences. The scene following that was fun to put together because Atlas really does struggle to apologize and take ownership over his fuck up that he tries to smooth things over by being charming but Taryn, getting more comfortable, shows her newfound skill of setting boundaries (courtesy of Atlas LMAO) and calls him out on the bullshit.
5. August 9th: Theo's official introduction
⋆ Much of Theo's life is hush hush as following after the WR arc we dive more into their lives but I do want to talk more about them. I liked following their life throughout the day and the general reclusiveness they have in a new city. Their only friend at the time is Gabriel and with no goals of going back to their old life, the only way forward is through. I will say, something about the city has a way of helping people find themselves.
6. August 8th: Of course I had to freaking include this scene
⋆ Gonna be so real right now but I was terrified to post this. Terrified. We see the chaos of Atlas's vices revealing a very important detail, one Rowan reminded us all and that is, Atlas seeks out trouble. The most curious and pressing part is why and how does it end? Any scene with Atlas is scary for me because he leaves a lot of subtle little hints but the extent of his nature is like slowly pulling off a band aid. Are people gonna like what's underneath? I'm never really sure but I do enjoy exploring his character quite a bit.
7. September 3rd: Ojitos lindos
⋆ First, I love Jules. Dude was literally supposed to only be in the one scene and... He wiggled himself into a handful. Second, was very proud of how the dance came out, with Taryn teasing Jules and Jules chasing every second of it until the kiss. OUGH! The little fiend in me blurred out "tu y yo" in the kiss scene to sorta symbolize Taryn beginning to move on from Atlas but as we see later, that was short lived. Taryn's monologue was the easiest to write and it comes from a person struggling with the bitter emotions of heartbreak.
8. October 8th: A formal introduction to Ares's life
⋆ Little lore drop but the Langs have been longtime characters of mine. In fact, longer than everyone else. Chase, Ares's father, was a main character of a youtube series I made long ago over the summers of my school days LMAO! So to revisit and restructure them as has been... WOW ! I wanted everyone to feel like they were a plant on a shelf observing the dynamics of specifically the women in Ares's life as well as the structure of his home. It felt subtle but good :)
9. October 18th: Kai's revelation
⋆ I think I have one more scene left for Kai's arc. I specifically wanted to focus on the concepts of jealousy, cognitive dissonance and religion coupled with Kai being a closeted man. I will say in the beginning, I did struggle to connect with this character. While some elements I can totally relate to, writing about it is different. Envy can be classified as an ugly feeling. It isn't palatable to most and is quickly shood away but because of that, we don't talk about it enough. So I wanted to go into this really humanizing this common emotion but not making it as some caricature of an emotion. I do love Kai's growth, I wanted to make sure he earned it and it sure feels like it.
10. November 23: The freaking arts festival
⋆ There's still like four-ish more posts to go. Those will be a bit less crash-out packed but I think it ends on a high note. There's a lot in these six posts. Some of it slightly nudging certain characters arcs, other parts deepening your knowledge of other oc's. I wanted to start out on the disappointment that Atlas faces seeing that the only person supporting him there is Daniela and how he copes in the only way he knows how. The arts festival is something he helped put together but it seems to be a reoccurring theme that any accomplishment he ever has is always overshadowed. It's always something. Each frame, every detail, to the dialogue in these two posts are intentional. The following scenes after that have some really cool conversations. I think the last post also has some unique dialogue as well but we'll pick back up on January 2nd! :)
Also a bonus! I wanted to show one of these first photos of Tessellate. It's no longer on my blog after the reboot but I wanted to show how much has changed in two years.
#also the dates on these are the dates of the screenshots so the dates might be incorrect from actual post date :)#still can't believe that was one of the first screenshots like that is WILD to me#i wonder if the three people who read this story from the start are still here#that would be WILD-ER#also did not check this for grammatical errors OOPS#tag thingy#tessellate: extras#elderwisp recap
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Hello!
Sorry if this has already been asked before, but do you have any tips for writing Ford?
Thank you and I'm sending you a virtual hug <3 🫂
Hey!
Thank you so much <3
I'll put some of the stuff I find helps me below here. I find it really hard to describe sometimes so if it doesn't make sense or if you want clarification then let me know :)
Be familiar with the source material. This might sound silly but I've seen fics where the a/n is like 'yeah I haven't read Journal 3 or finished the show but I wanted to write-' .....Please. Just. Finish the show and the Journal. The Journal gives you TONS of useful insight into Ford's actual personality and I think you see a lot more of his mannerisms in it. Rewatch his episodes. Use what you've got of canon stuff.
Watch other stuff with JK Simmons in. It'll be helpful for you to pick up how he sounds and then make it easier replay his tone in your head and make your dialogue more accurate. I don't actually know how helpful this tip is bc I brought this up to my partner (RE: Hearing the character's exact voice in your head as you write) and they said this isn't really something people do, so I'm not sure if I'm alone in that technique or not....? (also sorry Mr Simmons but a lot of your movies are d o g s h i t! So, suffer through them as much as you can for the sake of research. Whiplash isn't in the bad pile though btw, it's one of the greatest movies ever made. Just watch that 14 times in a row until you can quote the entire thing by heart. Or use Portal/Cave Johnson audio. Much more fun.)
Know the Ford you're writing. Is he younger, likely at college? Is he research-era? Is he post-portal? Ford presents (at least to me) as multiple different versions of himself over the course of his journey. He has fundamental traits but the degree to which he displays/shows/acknowledges/applies them varies dramatically depending on where he is in life and who he's around.
Balance him. He's strict and sharp and sometimes rude, but not so much that he's devoid of all other emotion. He's funny and he likes to get silly sometimes. We're literally told that exact thing (quite a lot actually) in the canon material. This is especially relevant if you're writing post portal Ford or pre-Bill/pre-obsession-with-work Ford. Again, he isn't all the time but he definitely is more than people give him credit for. If you're writing Ford during his Bill obsession stage then he's going to be erratic and harmful, more than anything to himself. He's going to be acting poorly because he isn't in his right mind, so extend some sympathy to the guy. You don't have to make it okay that he might be lashing out and hurting others, obviously, but there's a reason behind why he's acting like that. He isn't just 'a bad guy'.
However, he is also an asshole sometimes. Everyone can be. He's very diverse. This diva HAS the range! (He experiences the world in a very different way to most other people, I think, so his behaviour can be perceived as difficult to 'normal' people).
Ford is never one emotion at a time. No character is. If he's angry, there's going to be a reason behind that anger and then several emotions behind that reason. Is he telling someone off because he's intrinsically and irrevocably an asshole? No! He might have been afraid of them getting hurt and snapped at them, and the fear shows as anger. Maybe he's frustrated with them and doesn't know how to appropriately address that frustration. There's always a reason.
If he is just being a bit of jerk, because that's plausible, it's not going to be the case that every time he does something that can be perceived as being jerky, that he is being so.
He is very full of love. For his family, for his work, for his friends, for his object of affection (these tips apply to him in general, if you're writing ship stuff or reader stuff or gen). He is full to the brim with it, he just struggles to identify it, to know how to show it and how to express it.
I think that for Ford, acknowledging his feelings is a bit like touching a hot stove: He recoils from them immediately because feelings are painful and intense, and they're hard to handle. They hurt and he's going to be loathe to keep touching the thing that reliably burns him every time he goes near it. Ford isn't very good at being bad at things and he IS bad at emotions. Really bad. They're not finite or logical or able to be proven like science is. They're artistic and available for interpretation, and they're often nonsensical. That's hard to get your head around for someone who likes to view everything from a black and white perspective.
If you think he has a disorder (autism, BPD, NPD, HPD, whatever) and you yourself don't have that thing, then RESEARCH THE FUCKING THING! Ask people who do have it for advice. Treat it with respect. People that have 'negative traits' from these types of disorders (and believe me, people do think you're awful if you have a personality disorder or autism) are not inherently bad people and them enacting their symptoms doesn't make them evil, provided they know how to acknowledge their wrongdoing post behaviour and try to do better in the future. If I split on someone and act out by starting a fight, it is my responsibility to return to that person and apologise for inappropriately starting a fight once I've cooled down. It can be hard, it can be done through gritted teeth, it will be uncomfortable, but it must still be done because I'm an adult. Obviously, when it comes to things like this, we're always working on a sliding scale because people with complex mental health issues don't always know they've made a mistake so they may not feel like they need to apologise/may not even know that they've done something wrong if they're in a really bad episode. That's difficult to get right however, and I would not recommend writing intensely detailed stuff like that unless you're very used to/accustomed to the disorder.
HE KNOWS HOW TO SAY SORRY and he knows when he's fucked up. This is a skill he's learnt better over time. I think it would be most relevant to use if you're writing him post-portal, though. I don't think this was a skill he had when he was younger/pre-portal and if he did apologise, it was something that had to be really dragged out of him.
Show that he's tender and capable of empathy. I think it was only really during his obsessional years that he locked off that part of his brain, and even then it was more out of pure delusion and trauma/self-protection than it was an inherent drive to be evil. He's never been evil, just misguided, betrayed and a bit of an ass at times.
He does more through action than through talk. In comparison to Stan, who is all mouth and uses verbal communication frequently, Ford is more physically inclined. He tries to be very esoteric but he gives away a lot in his behaviour instead of talking. I don't actually think he knows he does this and that's why he thinks he's super mysterious.
If you're stuck on a scene, play it out as him. Not yourself. It's not so much how am I going to do this, but how is Ford going to do this? What do you think Ford would do in that moment, according to what you've seen him do in the show?
Don't be afraid to make your own Ford, to a certain extent. I'm not writing about a strictly canon!Ford. He's informed by canon for the most part, but he's also my little barbie to dress up and be silly with. I don't necessarily have to solely make him do what I think his canon counterpart would do. I think canon!Ford is aroace/just not interested in romantic or sexual relationships. I don't think he has interest in much of the stuff that my fanon!Ford does, but this is fantasy land and Ford isn't real so we can do whatever we want. He'll feel more real if you give him his canon traits and then add some of your own spices to the recipe on top.
Be nice to him. This isn't advice, I'm just begging you LMAO. When you're writing him talk about his science stuff or whatever, have your other character (reader, I presume?) be engaged and happy to listen to him. I wouldn't be interested in someone who annoyed me with their passions, so don't write it as though he pisses you off because the audience can tell if you don't actually like him that much. They will pick up on how you really feel about a character as the author unless you're an excellent liar and it's really hard to actually lie like that and retain a sense of genuine love in your story. Just treat him with love and care. Treat any character with it.
Okay anyway WHEW that's a lot! Sorry. These are just things that I do and they're not my view of how to write Ford 'correctly' or anything, they're just what I find helps me characterise him for my fics. I'm sure plenty of people would disagree with my interpretation and that's fine, we're all receptive to art in different ways so there's not really a 'right' way to be for the most part. Just listen to what he tells you/shows you about himself and the way in which other characters speak about him truthfully.
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I saw this in my recs and went "wait this might be up my alley" (spoiler: it is). Apparently, they also have a live action releasing too? The visuals look great.
youtube
#eve babbles#babanbabanban vampire#what a hilarious title i love it#it looked fun when i watched the pv#then i realize who the mc is supposed to be in reference to and i giggled#i think i'll have a lot of fun watching this show#Youtube
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No no ikr. The ENT fandom is so quiet around here. And honestly I'm just excited to see art of my favourite dudes, because we rarely get fanart around here, and when we do it's usually Trip or T'Pol solely. Malcolm gets left in the dust quite a lot so I'm happy you drew him as well - and so well done too!
Anyway, ramble over, lol.
OMG... Well I think I can see why a lot of fanart is of Trip and/or T'pol (those two seem like they're doing some heavy lifting for the show/are just a lot of people's faves. I've got a few half baked ideas in mind for them myself.) but the rest of the crew as a whole do deserve more love I think! :]
#(I'm hijacking this ask to talk about some ENT thoughts in the tags LMAO sorry 😭🙏)#I've been watching it for the first time with some friends who are also watching it for the first time with me like 90% of the time.#When Reed was introduced we did our silly little “omg. why is he british 😰” jokes but personally-#he has grown on me a lot. Very much my type of character so far I think... :]#ive got a few sketches involving him that wont see the light of day because they require five levels of inside jokes from my watch party 😭#but god. for the most part I like all the main crew characters#the only one I'm not 100% on is archer and i dont even know how to articulate why.#like I don't HATE him. but he is also very fun to dunk on.#and i enjoy scott bakula very much. its crazy how like. not intriguing or charming I find his depiction of archer mmmmmost of the time#which sucks bc i KNOW it could be awesome. but its not really there for me yet.... oh well.#but god. i wish i could go back in time and force some improvements into the way the show was handled.....#my list of demands. quit the excessive sexualisation of t'pol and hoshi. can we PLEASE stop underutilising mayweather. and honestly-#i think a bit more dramatic visual variety between the main human cast would help a bit#now its time to end MY ramble yet again 😭 i feel like if i talk about ent for too long i'll inevitably start complaining-#despite me still having a mostly enjoyable time... all that stuff just really feels kicked up to 11 compared to previous treks tho 😔#but its only bc i care 💔 i see so much potential where the writers really borked their shit#telegraff#themurdochmemesteries#i might get around to a few more doodles or meme redraws but i can never guarantee anything when I have a whole queue of stuff-#that needs to be done before I can draw whatever I want. but by god. the ideas and concept drafts are there. 💪💪💪😤#:] <3
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no promises anymoooooreeeee i'll appear online when i appear online 😭 every time i say "ooh i think life is almost done being overwhelming!" it. becomes even more overwhelming in the dumbest ways. all i can manage rn when i'm not stressing myself into a shut-down state is staring at the wall while listening to youtube essays + mindlessly crocheting.
i might queue up ppls art and fics w/o commentary in the tags... i want other ppl to see what all of my cool friends have made, but i genuinely can't think right now with this monstrous brain fog. i'm really sorry, just. yeah. maybe i'll think of some way to make it up later!!! once the dust has settled!!!! but until then i wuv u and miss u. smiles.
[venting in tags including familial manipulation and ableism. i. didn't mean to write all of that, thiss was originally going to be a main blog post but. aaaaaAAAAAA!!!!!
also no need for replies or anything, i'd turn them off for just the one post if i could kjsndkn, i just needed to get things out and go eep jsjndsfdn ok bye bye bye bye!!!!]
#goddd my family finds it sooooooo funny that i can't do basic tasks! it's soooo funny that i can't even think of a horror movie to watch#on halloween bc i genuinely can't remember a single one right now. it's soooo funny that i can't take cardboard boxes or#old furniture out of my room without help bc i've physically and mentally and emotionally burnt out for Months.#and me not being able to move shit out after two (2) days makes me a hoarder somehow. and ofc hoarding is a moral failing#and my mom has to give me a stern talking-to about hoarding things... that were. again. in my room for 2 days....#[tbc it isnt a moral failing no matter the reason. life is hard and things happen and it can be hard to get rid of things for Reasons.]#nevermind them making constant snide remarks about me using ugly 'mismatched' desk / storage furniture. bc it was free / cheap? no income??#AND!!!!! i have a couple of new diagnoses. which doesn't change much day to day but it does make my family making fun of me#even more dumbfounding. like. this explains a lot of really scary unexplained symptoms that constantly leave me#housebound for weeks but uhhh haha hehe hoho??? so silly so funny that i'm barely conscious for multiple weeks???#and you can see that i'm getting worse but that makes it funnier??? hmm!!!#also nevermind that i've told them the exact reason why i've been like this (read: them) but that ALSO makes it funnier somehow.#but i also can't say shit bc they're doing something ~nice~ for me (out of convenience + after almost a decade of 'don't get comfortable'#and 'don't decorate this room bc it isn't yours' and 'you need to be ready to move out by x date'#only for the date to arrive and them to pull the 'i never said that. and if i did say it i didn't mean it like that.#and if i did mean it like that i don't anymore.' card. + any big renovations are things they wanted anyway. hmmmm!!#and how i have to do all of the phys labor alone bc if i ask for help i get made fun of!!! and yelled at that i'm doing things Wrong#(hint: i'm following instructions to the letter but. my family knows better than those silly things!! ^^ ))#jfc i sure did rant. uh. yeah. things. are really weird and uncomfy and i feel thankful that i finally can have my own things on display#outside of closets and bins again after a decade?? but i'm also waiting for the other shoe to drop / them to tell me i owe them in#some way??? bc that's how it works. 'i'm doing a nice thing you didn't even ask me for so now you have to do whatever i tell you to.'#meanwhile i can't even maladaptive daydream my way through it bc my brain is soup right now. can't remember basic things abt#my interests bc i've been on negative battery / spoons for a couple of months straight and it's only getting worse.#OKAY TLDR i'm not in a state to do anything until everything irl gets settled. and i'm trying So Hard to get it all over with but there's#only so much i can do in a day before i completely shut down. i didn't even get into the insurance stuff i've been fighting too ughhhh.#so if i show up on here in short spurts -- hi! bye! hi!! i wuv and care u!!! hope youre well mwah mwah!!!!!!! i'll post what i can and then#disappear when i need to recharge. it is what it is. i need to try to sleep now... uh if this post disappears when i wake up.... yeah......#📌 [ my posts. ]#💭 [ my thoughts. ]#vent -
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hyperfixations really will have you imagining a 2 hour video essay on some white guy video game character huh 😪
#HELP#thank GOD i don't have video editing capabilities i would be SO annoying#anyways there's a guy on youtube who does FASCINATING breakdowns of video game villains#i watched one on miquella eldenring and i watched one on osmund saddler re4 (2023)#i would LOVE to do a villain analysis on chronos hades2game as well. he's a fascinating villain to me#well. i have WRITING capabilities. hmmmmm#character analysis is so fun to do frfr i love examining the little guys in my video games like they're specimen#I COULD DO ONE ON LINK BOTW#(he's also a fascinating character to me idk)#help i'm discovering my true power and i don't have time for this!!!!!#i also want to do one on the character development leon has in the re2 and 4 remakes because i think its really fascinating#and i do not see it talked about enough. probably because he's peak male fantasy but i'm shaking him violently#PLEASE I NEED TO TALK ABOUT PERSONAL CHANGE AND ITS RELEVANCE IN RESIDENT EVIL 4 (2023)#ITS EVERYWHERE literally the main antagonist is trying to convince you to join him and give up control of your body#and there's this underlying narrative about how people change over time and a lot of it from leon's perspective is because of trauma/PTSD#that he's running from!!! he's not really handling it and it's coming back around again and it shows!!#he's got this sort of drive to save as many as he can but literally not long after his introduction as a character there's this really harsh#reality check that it's not possible to save everyone. but leon keeps trying and he keeps failing#and these failures stay with him into re4 and throughout that game too.#HHHHHHHRG this game is so good for no reason why is it so GOOD AUGH#anyways :) i'll stop losing my mind over this one specific blond dude in my tags now#oh god i hope no one sees these tags <- in denial#i really could go on for 2 hours about leon kennedy huh#hell i could do it for melinoë too. AND SHE ONLY HAS ONE GAME
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talking to new people again is making me realize that (this is gonna sound dramatic) i haven't lived in five years but what i have done is watch a lot of movies and read a bunch of books and believe it or not that actually makes me an interesting conversationalist in some ways (?)
#and like i say: brf slt#they don't know i'm crazy and as long as you're normal about it having seen a lot of movies just makes you come off as someone who's like#interested in culture i guess. which i am. but it's fun#and the books thing too and also knowing a lot about sociology#i have things to say jokes to make so in two months they haven't even realized i haven't lived a life yet🙏#i didn't even do it on purpose the way it happened is in 2019 i was very depressed suicidal etc then i got better but i was focused on#like...idk. basically getting used to being okay with being alive again? then it was 2020 and we didn't have classes in person full time#until september 2021. that's how it was for university students here. i did hang out with people but no one i LOVED or actually became#close with and it's true that i could have tried harder but i didn't because guys i love being by myself😭😭😭#then three years went by and now we're here. it's fine it's just that i don't have a lot of anecdotes that aren't old because LITERALLY#nothing has happened to me. nothing#that's not true i did talk about something semi-recent to my bff on friday it was about my 'friends' who hated on everyone the same way i#did when i was literally 12 and about how anxiety inducing it was because after a while i was like is this how they talk about me when i'm#not around🤨 i actually talked about that then. january or february 2023#this has been in my drafts for a week and i talked about the post i talk about in that last tag last week when i talked about my mutual who#blocked me that's the post she replied to to give me advice😔#also it's funny i said they don't know i'm crazy and a guy asked me what my favorite tv shows were and i don't know why i actually gave him#my full list like it's funny because like i said they think i like like good movies and good television and interesting books and stuff#and i know the shows i told him made him reassess that (which is fine but it's just funny) and also i told him i'm watching gilmore girls#for the 18th time and he was like you're joking i was like hm...and then he was like no you're being serious because it's way too#precise...and THAT i could have not told him. i was like whyyy did i tell him that...but it's fine#HE HADN'T EVEN HEARD OF SUCCESSION? 34-year-olds...#i mentioned the sopranos a couple weeks ago and my future bff was like what is that and i was like ? then i asked two more people and they#didn't know the show either so i was like i'll ask him (34-year-old) i know he'll know the sopranos and he was like OBVIOUSLY i know#the sopranos it's supposed to be one of the best shows of all time and later i asked if he had seen succession and he'd never even heard of#it? crazy. i mean if it had been anyone else i wouldn't have thought it was crazy but i expected HIM to know succession
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household enemy to the yyh watchthrough number one is the olympics. it's taken us a week to get two episodes into the gamemaster fight
#out of three. please the third episode's what makes it okay im fighting for my life out here#it is NOT for lack of trying on my part but theres only a brief window of time when the olympics is not happening#and as it turns out the watchthrough is Not my mom's first priority (how dare she etc)#i do feel slightly bitter that we've gotten through two eps of band o brothers in the same time#we are fighting for the same timeslots yet somehow the hour long show's gotten a leg up??#you don't have time for a 23 min ep but DO for a 60 min one?? explain the math to me please#idk how to explain the vague feeling of betrayal bc it Does Not make sense Nor matter in the slightest#but cmonnnn we were doing so well. and my little bro's starting up school again soon and my dad's gotta go back to work#sometimes eventually (<- hes on medical leave) and my grandparents are coming over next week We're Losing Time Soon#ughhh if i'd known the olympics were happening (<- somehow completely oblivious to this) i'd have accounted for#my mom getting whisked away by the land of synchronized divers and shot putters and whatever the hell#happens in the summer olympics (<- only pays attention to winter olys)#bc that always happens. and *i* have to go back to school in Some Amount Of Time Im Too Scared To Check (p sure it's late aug though) and#when that happens i'll (hopefully) be stuck across town which means we won't be able to do it any time besides the weekends#and i don't wannaaaaa#i know this is the least important problem anyone's ever had like i get that i know but#it's important to me that they sit down and watch this with me. and watching it pull apart and being#the one who's easily the most invested it makes me look all desperate when i ask them for their time and they can't give it#we can only pull this off neatly in the summer and we were so close and now we're losing it right at the finish line#i don't want life to get in the way of this little bubble i've fought so hard to make y'know#and it's childish and embarrassing and whatever but i just want them to have fun with me with this thing i care about a lot#but i can't do that bc my mom needs to watch the judo matches at Every weight class#even though she's recording a lot of them? i don't understand but whatever i know it's her thing im just moping about it ig#i want it to be as perfect an experience for them as possible and it's slipping away from me#and i don't wanna leave this project unfinished when i start school y'know. sighh#i think they might feel like i only want them around when we're watching stuff. whcih is weird bc that's like#The Singular Way we family bonded literally my whole life so idk why they wouldn't get that when reversed#but either way that IS how i wanna spend time with them. i want them to understand this thing that's become a part of me#and i wanna talk With them about it. and so far it's been fun in a way it's never been before. my mom at least seems to really like it#and i want it to Keep going well bc if we lose momentum im worried they'll start finding it tedious. sighh
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yanno, for a show that seemed to always be running when i was growing up (disclaimer; I did not grow up with the channel; I only had access when visiting my mom's parents if they were even in the same state) Danny Phantom really is a short show, huh?
#personal;#I've got 7 episodes left and I could swear I remember catching bits of a good lot of them#over my cousin's shoulder or w/e#more so in the back half but not none in the front#raine watches Danny Phantom;#I did always like the show when i saw it. I can't remember if i ever finished all of Kim Possible either#I know i started once but i think ADHD deviated#maybe it'll be my next 'i don't have engagement energy' show#kids cartoons are really good for no energy#maybe I'll even watch more RECENT cartoons sometime (lol who am i kidding)#anyway Sam's a trans girl and I love her#and they manage to SOMEHOW make the Sam has a crush on Danny who has a crush on Paulina/Valerie not give me hives which is nice#(they did it by Sam not being any cattier than your average 14yo and not act like she's entitled to him and thus a girl fight)#Sam/Danny is a T4T narrative and I'll die on this hill#and Tucker is just happy to have a boyfriend AND a girlfriend after trying for so long and also his PDA is there#might still be a little manic#thought it wore off but no I'm just Big Seeby#I AM gonna take my tegretol tonight tho#I skipped it for 24hrs it's been fun but it's given me a headache (have found which med it is that makes me feel like dogshit when forgot)#.....I said am. I already did. I took my meds hours ago when i was gonna go to bed#(gf and I ended up having a talk but now it really is bedtime- I'm past the sleeby shakes)#(I'm starting to feel like that bitch in that one MAG ep and my brain is about to start buzzing again)
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so i really like geats :)
#ace is definitely one of my favorite kamen riders and i loved every minute that he was on screen#absolutely adore michinaga and there's a lot of good dynamiccs and interesting themes that i think were explored well#is it perfetct? no there's pacing issues inconsistency and some odd writing in places but overall i feel the positives outweigh the#negatives by a substantial margin and don't ruin the show for me at all#i went into geats with low expectations but i had so much fun watching it and i absolutely adore the characters#it's kind of like revice in that it could be very hit or miss depending on a number of things but for me it's a hit just as revice is#i think the suit designs are beautiful the fight scenes are fun to watch and the characters each shine individually and together#i think the stylists for this show deserve some praise bc the outfits were so nice and fit each character so well#i actually really liked the later arcs even though the pacing is a bit messy i just really like the exploration of atonement and forgivenes#i have a lot more thoughts and still have a lot more geats content to go through but i'll just say i really liked it <3#kr geats lb#kr lb#umbrella.thoughts#umbrella.posts
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Welp, I've finished the season 4 special...
Anyway-
#the finale wasn't bad btw. It's just it coupled with season 4 and 3 has me tired#I'm sure a lot of people like it#I'm honestly just really tired#I think I've just fallen deeply out of love with lmk#which is sad cause it had me by a chokehold for years#I could rant but I no longer like the show enough to give such an emotional response#Season 3 was already very high stakes and emotional. Season 4 did not need to be#even if I agreed with all the decisions they made. Having 2 high stakes world ending situations with so much angst is emotionally exhaustin#what drew me to lmk to begin with was the villain of the week format it had going#low stakes episodical things with super fun and endearing characters yk#sure they could have an overarching story. I don't actually mind the LBD plot at all#but what they did to SWK... I started watching the show because I saw a clip with him in it and I loved it so much I sought it out#they've massacred my boy#and then the continued angst and stress they tossed onto Mk. I don't appreciate it#maybe I can focus on making aus instead#season 1 and 2 still hold a special place in my heart (season 1 waaayyy more than season 2)#so maybe I'll rewatch those and see if I feel anything#but as of now I think I'm done with the show#ah well
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some snipes i got today! trying to prepare for the snipers only challenge o7
#splatoon 3#lizz.mp4#silly snipes!#u should def watch the first 4-6 seconds i have some nasty flick shots alright#there's a sniper's only challenge coming at the end of this month. im very excited! its something that i'd really enjoy#hopefully i can finish the catalog by then since i dont think i'll play much splatoon with rleoad coming out#except for like. golden rotation and any other events i think are worthy of playing#glad to know that i can still play splatterscope/z+f scope... it just takes some time i think to adjust#also i feel the need to express that these compilations are fun to make but also#they are definitely not representative of what my gameplay is like at most times LOLOL i was playing tc + turf for like. two hours#i miss a lot i promise im still learning i just choose to show the nice bits LOL
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I'm literally animating a long and fairly complex dialogue shot right now and my stupid ass is like "Ok but what about animating ~*ballet*~?"
#my first dipshit idea was to do something from nutcracker and try to finish in time for christmas#but even i'm smart enough to know that ain't happening#but i'm thinking maybe i'll find a little segment from a variation#just to have something else to fiddle with when i get frustrated with the dialogue i'm working on#maybe i am insane for this it's possible#maybe i do not possess the technical skill to reproduce something as meticulous as ballet in animation#who knows i've just been watching a lot of ballet stuff recently and it looks like it might be fun to try out#and if it turns out crap then that's fine i don't have to finish it or show it to anyone
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gonna be starting a REAL project soon :-)
#it's ace attorney related#but not particularly funny#i'll hopefully have funny bits IN it#but as a whole it's a serious topic#and slash or debate#gonna have to watch and/or look through content i kinda can't stand to do it#but i'd rather eat glass than have this be inaccurate and/or flat out bad#so.........#it's gonna be fun though!!#i love debating things so even if i have to ultimately play devil's advocate with myself it'll be FUN#plus it'll be a neat exercise in seeing if i can accurately portray the arguments of the side i'm not on#without my bias showing in the presentation of those arguments (subconsciously making them weaker or less effective)#(or otherwise sabotaging them in my presentation of them)#it's gonna be FUN.#ik my repetition of that makes it sound like i'm coping hard but i genuinely think that while this will be a lot of work i will enjoy it
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