#i think i understand why some people would sya they hate men. but when you say “i hate men! except trans men”

[nightfallsystem]

idk am i the only one who hates "i hate men! except trans men ofc theyre fine" please just include trans men too if you hate men otherwise youre just othering us and implying we arent actually men. im sorry.

[134330kira]

With the looming elections, I guess it's only right for me to share my thoughts also on whatever is happening since I am a registered voter. My opinion does not really hold weight but in case someone sees this and it might help them in assessing themselves.

There has been this never-ending "bardagulan" among people about their chosen presidential candidate. I have observed it in every social media apps that I have. Some things that I have observed also while scrolling through arguments of people on who is the better candidate, it made me realized that some of us are never going to see each other eye to eye because we can't keep an open mind and we also have our biases that we are not aware of because it has been instilled in us for centuries now.

I am for Leni-Kiko. And no, I am not "bayaran". This blog post is not sponsored or anything. I am also not forced to support it by my school. I made that decision on my own and because I can see that she is the most capable. And it really hurts when I see her getting criticized just because she is a woman. I understand people can make mistakes and I do not wish to idolize VP Leni. I will be with those who will criticize her when things go wrong, but I trust that she will listen. Because that's what we need, a leader who listens. A leader who makes us feel heard. However, criticisms that are rooted in misogyny really irritates me.

"Babae mana sya, she can't lead"

"Puppet raman na sya"

"Women can't lead in times of war"

All of these stink of misogyny and sexism. This is something that is also as dangerous as misinformation. And that is something that I cannot accept. I understand though that people might not be aware of themselves for this bias among women. I hope people can finally open their eyes. She has an incredible track record and she has made many contributions to the country but it is invalidated because she is a woman. We also expect double from our women. If she was a man, she would be praised for everything she's done, even if it was just the bare minimum. We, women, always have to exert more effort just to be seen by society. We have to run as fast as we can and wonder if we'd get there quicker if we were men. And when we do get to prove ourselves, we still get criticized. 'You're not supposed to be like this, you're not supposed to be like that, women belong in the kitchen, etc.'

When people talk to me about their presidential candidates or I show my support to her in social media, I receive mocks. I have asked someone in a healthy peaceful way (I was just genuinely curious) why they do not like her, majority of them said that they acknowledge that she has done great things but they still doubt her beceause she might just be a "puppet". And at first, I accepted that as a fair criticism, but after thinking about it hard enough, I realized it's kind of sexist again. Why do you assume she is a puppet? Are you really concerned about the Aquin*s, or is this just you unconsciously judging women, that they cannot work on their own. That they always have someone to control them. That they cannot make decisions for themselves. That they are only shadows of men.

I hope people get to assess themselves because I personally hate misogynists but I also understand why they are like that. The patriarchy remains because of centuries of conditioning. Same with the issue of misinformation and disinformation. In the end, if we want a better Philippines, we listen to each other. We do not dismiss each other. We do not tell each other "bobo, bugo, bulok". We have to have humility, be the bigger person. I know someday our patience will pay off. After all, mas radikal pa rin ang mag mahal.

[angelkurenai]

Die for a Laugh - Dean Winchester x Reader - Part 10 (The End)

Title: Die for a Laugh

Pairing: Dean Winchester x Reader, Joker x Reader

Warnings: None

Prompt: Could do a Jared Leto joker imagine where Sam and Dean are on a hunt for the joker and he takes a certain liking to the reader, the pairing can be whatever you wish, thanks!

Read Part 1 here! l Read Part 2 here! l Read Part 3 here! l Read Chapters 4&5 here! l Read Chapter 6 here! l Read Chapter 7 here! l Read Chapter 8 here! l Read Chapter 9 here!

“Hate you?” Sam blinked and you rubbed your eyes.

“Why that surprised?” you asked almost numbly “The moment he realizes what I've been really doing behind his back he-he will loathe me, despise me beyond belief.”

“No, (Y/n), he's- Dean cares about you, more than you can understand. He will be mad, hell he will be furious, and I'm not going to sya he won't give you the cold shoulder like he did this time but-”

“But this time is going to be so much worse, Sammy. He's going to feel betrayed, like I let him down, like I gave up on him and that means he's not going to forgive me. Not this time.” you wiped hastily a stray tear.

“(Y/n), no- he-” Sam shook his head “I wish we had more time to talk about this but Dean is in danger a-and-” he let a heavy sigh “You need to believe me when I say everything will work out in the end, everything always happens for a reason you always were the one to say that to me.” he tried to give you a reassuring smile.

“You're right-” you sniffled, managing to gain all the courage you could “He's in danger and I will never forgive myself if something happens to him. It's better if he lives even if he'll hate me forever.” you breathed out, not giving Sam the chance to respond before you rushed out of the car and towards the back of the club. After a deep intake Sam got ut of the car and followed, the both of you checking your surroundings.

“He's not- I don't see Dean or J in there. Isn't that- isn't that the couch he usually holds his business meeting at?” he pointed as he peaked through and open window and you did the same.

“If it's not then it's the office he has upstairs. Come, we need to get inside the bar first, there are stairs in the back for the second floor.” you mumbled, rushing to the backdoor and using the key you had managed to sneak out from Frost's stuff.

Luckily there were plenty of people in the club, even at this time, and you managed to sneak your way past some of his henchmen scattered around and keeping an eye out for enemies. Your heart lept to your throat when you went around a corner and spotted two of his bodyguards in front of the door and you instantly hid yourself behind the wall again.

“Son of a bitch.” you breathed out, closing your eyes “There are guards there.”

“Great” Sam muttered, eyes casting down for a second “What are we gonna do now? We can't just go charging towards them, not with the guns they could have.”

“We can't go against them even if we'd want to and that's what we didn't think about from the first place.” you dragged a hand down your face.

“Meaning?” Sam frowned at your words.

“There will be ten times the number in there, Sammy. J doesn't go to business all alone, he's not stupid especially with hunters. How are we gonna just pull our gun on all of them? Those guys don't think, they don't fight hand to hand, they just shoot whatever moves against their boss.”

“And what do you propose we do? Just wait until Dean's out of there, if he does come out? He's been doing all kinds of stupid things lately, how can we be sure he is not going to pull a gun amongst all those-” he stopped himself, taking in a shaky breath “They will do anything to protect their boss, we can't just wait for them to-”

“We're not going to.” you breathed out, your eyes wide “You said it yourself, anything to protect their boss and anything for their boss. They follow orders... and that's how it will be this time as well.” you took in a sharp inhale, putting back the safety on your gun and tucking it in the back of your jeans.

“(Y/n) what- what are you doing?”

“You'll see. Listen to their boss isn't what they do? Well, they are going to.” you took a deep breath, straightening your back “You just wait here for now, and when I tell you, you'll come out, got it?” the moment you took a step away from him, his eyes widened in realization and fear, yu couldn't tell which first.

“No, (Y/n).” he whispered in a hurry, taking hold of your hand “No, please.”

“I'll be fine, wait for my sign.” you whispered, trying to be as calm as you could even thought your heart was beating wildly inside your chest, as if it wanted to break right out of your rib cage.

“This is madness, (Y/n)!” he whispered with wide eyes “You can't possibly just walk towards them as if everything's fine and ask-”

“But it is the only way!” you hissed, hoping you couldn't be heard from the henchmen “It is the only way we'll save Dean, and put an end to all of this for good.”

“(Y/n), if Dean sees you like this then... you said it yourself, he'll hate you.” he was trying every reason he could come up with to stop you from doing something stupid.

Your heart dropped at the thought but you willed yourself to look strong at least for Sam, because you knew that once this took place there was no coming back from it especially for your relationship with Dean – friendship or a promise of more, whatever it was “He will anyway, Sam. And I'm more willing to have a man that doesn't want to see me than a dead man in there.” your voice was as cold as you could possibly muster, before you took in a deep breath and glanced around the corner at the guards that were at the door “When you see the last one come out of there then make sure to come closer, I'll be by the door.”

“(Y/n), no-” he whisper-shouted but didn't get to complete his sentence or hold you back before you rounded the corner and with pursed lips you strode towards the two men.

The two of them instantly on alert once they heard footstep and as Sam peaked through the corner, holding his breath, in case he'd need to jump in. But he lowered his gun when he saw the two men lower their as well, not even so pointing them at you.

“Miss?” one of them asked with a raised eyebrow.

“I've been looking for J-” you started, standing in front of them with a straight back “He wasn't downstairs, I'm guessing he's having a more private talk?” you tilted your head, looking at the door and Sam narrowed his eyes for a moment at your calmness.

“Yes but he asked nobody to disturb him, he said it's serious business.” he replied firmly, but not very sternly as he would in any other situation, because if J found out you were anywhere disappointed by his men there would be no good ending for them.

“And I am nobody?” you crossed your arms over your chest, raising an eyebrow “Besides, when it comes to serious business I am always there.”

“Miss, we do know that- that you are always by his side, but Mr J didn't inform us nor let us know you were allowed so we really don't know if-”

“Inform you?” you scoffed “He doesn't need to inform you, but even if he had to it wasn't gonna be about me for sure. He didn't know I would be coming so soon so I'm gonna surprise him... unless you'd like to piss him off by not letting me get in and ruin everything. Sure, I won't be wiping the blood anyway, the maid is.” you shrugged casually, so much that it made Sam listen to you with wide eyes and in surprise “Or better yet, how about I tell him how not good you've been to his Queen? How you disobeyed my orders, because that's what this is, an order. Would you want that boys? I mean we all know what he's willing to do for me.” you said with a sweet smile but it was far from that with the threat you just uttered.

“Miss-” one of them started, voice steady, but nervousness clearly evident on their faces that had gone quite pale.

“Leave.” your smile flattered “Leave before I lose my patience, you know I can be worse than him if I want to.”

“There is a hunter in there, Miss.” it was a weak attempt because they would inevitably do what you told them to.

“Shocker, he's talking about business with him. And if he tried anything, then J has me. Now- Go downstairs, we don't need you here. Go.” you gave them a sharp look.

They hesitated a moment but they nodded at your words before they went the opposite direction you'd come from, thankful they wouldn't run into Sam. You held your breath until you were sure they were gone before you glanced in Sam's direction that was looking at you with a deep frown and you tried to give him a reassuring smile. He shook his head but you just gave him a small shrug and turned to face the door, taking hold of the doorhandle and knocking softly before pushing it open all in less than a minute. Mostly because you didn't want to give Sam the chance to pull you out of this.

And he didn't have the chance to anymore indeed.

Even as you entered the room, realization had not set inside you, but when you spotted Dean sitting right in front of J, you felt your heart leap to your throat in fear. You forced your eyes to focus only on J, took a deep breath and straightened your back as you approached the two of them and the rest of J's men. All eyes were instantly on you, and you hoped you looked as confident as you wished you did, as silence fell in the room.

“Having a meeting without your lucky charm? Ain't you a bad boy, J.” you crossed your arms over your chest, a smirk forming on your lips but it felt so cold.

He looked at you in surprise, glancing at Dean whom you didn't dare look at yourself because you could already feel his eyes burning through you and could perfectly imagine the shock written on his face, maybe even worry because he didn't really know what was happening yet. But he was in for such a bad surprise. J turned to face you, a grin forming on his lips as he leaned back in the couch.

“Only for my Queen.” he said with a small growl.

“You didn't seem to be thinking that much about your Queen when you didn't tell me anything about this now, did you? You're breaking your Harley's poor heart, puddin'.” you tilted your head to the side and he laughed to himself, throwing his head back.

“Oh and I would love nothing more than to make up for it, kitten.” he extended an arm out for you “Come take your place by me then.”

You paused for a second, holding your breath before speaking “With pleasure.” you grinned “But first-” you turned to his men “How 'bout ya boys go out to get some air huh? You're way too stiff sometimes.”

“Uh Miss (Y/l/n), with all due respect, are you sure we should...?” one of the men spoke up and you raised an eyebrow.

“Boss?” Frost asked J, who was looking at you with an interest; eyes narrowed and somewhat suspicious but not in the slightest alert.

“She's the boss too, Frost. You know it.” he muttered, his eyes not leaving you but a smile slowly forming on his lips again as he saw the way you smiled. You probably didn't understand it yourself, didn't even realize it, didn't see it but he could detect something underneath that pleased him more than it would please you.

“You heard him, although he shouldn't have to say it.” you shrugged “Don't worry, he's me here. Mr J will be just fine.”

“Of course Miss.” you got a nod from Frost as you made your way to the door and opened it wide open for them to get out.

“So, boys you can all go downstairs and check the back door, will ya? I saw a guy creepin' in the back, seemed like a hunter from the gun and all the plaid he wore.” you said with a tight smile, making sure each and every one of them followed in the direction the two first ones had. Once they all had left you waited so that glanced behind the door and gave Sam a curt nod who gave you one in return.

You got back in J's office first, but what you were met with made your heart crack this much that you almost heard it, not to mention felt it like a stab to the chest. Dean was pointing a gun at you, his jaw clenched, his eyes cold and emotionless, careless and not thinking about how J could just as easily pull a gun on him that second as well, he saw red and all he cared about was you in this room at the moment and like this. He only looked at you with burning rage.

“You're gonna regret that.” J hissed but Dean didn't even blink as he glared back at you.

“Lower the gun, please.” you said softly but he stood his ground.

“Why are you using her face?” he growled and your brows furrowed for a moment until realization set down. He thought you were a shifter.

“No, I'm not-” you took a step forward but it only angered him more.

“Not another fucking step or I'll pull the damn trigger. Answer my question: Why the hell are you using (Y/n)'s face, bitch?” he roared and you gasped, taking a step back. You didn't realize what happened next exactly, but only thing you knew was that a body was standing in front of you and blocking the way.

“Do it.” he hissed “Come on, do it. You wanted take this shot so bad for so long, she shouldn't be a distraction, should she? Do it. Do it. Do it. Do it!”

“No, J please-” you looked with wide eyes from him to Dean “Dean-” you choked on a sob but this time Dean didn't have the chance to say a thing as Sam hurried through the door, closing it right behind him.

“Dean!” he breathed out in almost fear and as the older Winchester's head snapped in his direction, his eyes widened.

“Sammy?” he blinked taking a couple steps back “Wha- what are you doing here?”

“I'm with (Y/n)- We're-” Sam frowned when he noticed the state you were in “What happened...?” but he trailed off just as Dean's head snapped in your direction. His eyes went wide and you could see as he looked at you realization setting in before shock and before pain and before betrayal all flashed through his red-rimmed eyes. If you felt your heart crack before, it was now shuttered into a thousand pieces. You thought you'd be able to take it, you thought's be able to take the hate and even disgust on his features but when you saw only a broken man, no more just bent, utterly broken and let down you wished he would just point the gun at your head and pull the trigger so you wouldn't have to see it anymore.

“No” he breathed out, stumbling backwards “No, you're-”

“I'm not a shifter, D.” you whispered, stepping away from J and walking towards him but he only backed away; making you stop dead in your tracks “I'm just here to help you, what you're about to do to J-”

“Him” he growled, but the fact that his anger mixed with anguish made you close your eyes “You've been sneaking out to see him?! You have fallen for him?!” the way his voice cracked at the last sentence made you choke on a sob.

“I know how this looks but if you just hear me out-” your own vision got blurry but you forced yourself to keep your voice as steady as possible.

“Hear you out?!” he roared and you winced at the tone in his voice “Hear you say what? More lies? Oh no, no thank you, but I can see very clearly what's going on here.” he hissed, smiling bitterly to himself and you could feel the twist of the knife in your chest “Very very clearly... you've been the chick by his side all this time huh? You not only have gone to him despite what I told you but also sided with him? You just betrayed us like that?! And you acted as if you knew nothing, as if you were trying to get the case finished, as if-”

“I am.” you whispered “And I've almost finished it, I just”

“No, no sweetheart-” the venom that laced the usually sweet nickname made a tear roll down your cheeks “I will.” he added in a dead serious voice tone before turning to face J and brought his gun back up to point it at him “I told you that the second I saw him I would pull the trigger, that I would kill him... that I would end this.”

“You're not even going to flinch, are you?” Dean growled at J, his chest heaving as he glared with burning rage in his eyes at him.

“Flinch?” blue-eyed man tilted his head, all amusement gone from his eyes as he glared back in a deadly dangerous way “Why?”

Dean narrowed his eyes, not being able to understand what was going inside his head.

“Oh yeah, that?” J laughed, the sound echoing in the entire room, but it was so much colder than any other time you'd heard so far “I've seen plenty before, see- I got my own!” he joked, taking the gun from his holster, making Dean's chest puff out and put him instantly on alarm until he threw it away “No, no I'm not gonna flinch.” J ended up growling.

“You got quite the nerve huh?” Dean clenched his jaw.

“Oh no, I just rather enjoying seeing the green on you. Oh feelings, soooo complicated! Jealousy even more so than the others. Tell me, did you really have no idea it was me all this time? I knew she was a great liar, that you all are, I just never thought-” but he stopped himself when with a snarl, Dean took a step forward; gun pointed directly at his head “Oh no, please don't kill me.” he mocked him before he laughed at it.

“Go to hell.” he growled.

“No, Dean.” your eyes widened.

“Because I'm bulletproof.” J whispered in a husky voice, and only a gasp was able to leave Sam's lips because he couldn't stop you from running toward Joker, standing in front of him and blocking the way just as the blue-eyed man had said.

“No, please.” you whispered.

His eyes widened and you saw shock and pain in his eyes intensify in his eyes “What are you doing?”

“He's-” you sniffled “He needs help, D. He's just a broken man and I- all I want is to help him, I'm doing this to- to save him and everybody else. He's just a man, he's human and we- we save those, don't we?”

“(Y/n) get out of the fucking way.”

“No, Dean I'm sorry but I- I can't let you do this.” you shook your head, pursing your lips “I know you can't see it but I- I do. And I feel for him, and maybe you are right- he might deserve a- a punishment for what he's done just like every monster we've hunted-”

“Might? Might?!” he growled before scoffing “He does!”

“But it is not us to give! If- if fate wants it, if Chuck does, then he will get it by Batman himself or by anyone whose job is that, not us. What I know I that I- I won't pull that trigger nor let you do it. He doesn't deserve it by me... just like you didn't all that time ago.” more tears rolled down your cheeks.

“What the hell do you mean?” you could see him fight the tears in his eyes with all of his will.

“The mark, Dean, that's what I mean.” you whispered, giving him a pained smile “Don't tell me you didn't believe you deserved the worst of punishment for what that thing had made you do, because I know you better than anyone. D, you asked me to put a bullet through you when you almost hurt me, remember? And I didn't, I just couldn't, but-” you sobbed, smiling sadly as more tears rolled down your chest “Not because I love you so much that I can't live without you, that I can't be without you, that it physically hurts my heart in the most beautiful way to know how much you mean to me...” you took in a trembling breath, a tear finally rolling down his cheek as he lowered his gun “-but also because I believed you could be saved. Because I saw the man I could save through all of the bloodlust and I did... we did save you. So I'm asking you, let me save this one hiding behind the madness, too. I'm begging you, Dean.”

“Save him? Save him?” he laughed humorelessly “What is there to save anymore?”

“You can't see it, not many can, but I do. Do you not trust me?”

“Do you think I should?” he asked back, surprisingly softly and your eyes casted down as you gave him a weak nod.

“I ask you to trust the old me, the one that carelessly didn't listen to your advice and ran to do what she wanted. The one that just did her thing, found the Joker, and did anything to finish the case without you getting hurt.”

“And now you think we're not going to?” he just looked so tired and broken but above all so let down, defeated in a way you had never seen before and you didn't dare look him in the eyes for longer than a full minute.

“Not if I make the right choice.” you breathed. And although Dean frowned, unable to understand, Sam caught onto it and his eyes widened in horror.

“No, (Y/n)-” he started, striding to you.

“Leave.” you whispered he shook his head in fear “I'm staying. Sammy, take him and leave.” you placed your hands on his chest and gave him a small push.

“What?” Sam blinked.

“What the hell?” Dean asked in a gruff voice.

Sam held your gaze for a moment before pursing his lips, his eyes still pleading with you but they ultimately casted down before he turned to face his brother “He offered her a choice. Us... or him and our safety.”

“And there is no choice in the first place, at all.” you said softly, trying your best not to hide how much this was hurting you but your glossy eyes gave everything away. And when you heard the gasp leave Dean's lips you felt like breaking down in tears yourself.

“No” his voice was gruff “No, you're not going to-” he choked in his words, the desperation in his voice and face to keep you with them... with him, despite everything you've done, despite how you thought he'd just wish you got lost and he'd never have to face you again, made you struggle to breathe. You'd hurt the man you swore you never would and he was still willing to keep you.

“I really wish I didn't have to. I really do, but there is no other way. You have to go now, this is the best for everyone and maybe one day-”

“No!” he roared, jumping in his place but before he could reach out to take hold of your hand, J decided to speak up. And it was possibly the best and worst thing he could do at the moment.

“Frost!” and as if everything seemed to happen in slow motion his men rushed in all armed, as if they'd been standing behind the door all this time and it didn't surprise if he had seen this coming from the first moment “The gentlemen here will be leaving, why don't you make sure they go back to their place without a hitch?”

“Yes, boss.” Frost gave him a curt nod and your last sight was Dean's wide watery eyes, filled with panic, as he got pushed back and away from you, before you closed your eyes and faced in a different direction. The yelling and grunting that followed, from the struggle or even fight, along with the words exchanged between the boys and Frost – no doubt he was warning them – sounded so distant and when after some time silence fell between you and J it was even more defeaning.

Maybe, even more, because he wasn't laughing.

“I'm past saving.” he said in a husky voice, and as your eyes fluttered open, they locked with his red ones “More than you can understand.”

“No, J. No.” you walked towards, kneeling in front of him as he was laying on the floor “You can be saved, you can be redeemed, if we just try-”

“Listen to me.” he growled, grabbing your chin but nowhere near painful “Look at me, I am way past saving. This- This is me, doll, and there is no changing it.”

You smiled, although a tear rolled down your cheek “My heart scares you and a gun didn't?”

“These tears...” he spoke as if he had not heard your question at all “They're not for me... or you.” he let go of you, taking a deep breath “He's not. You can save him, even after all you've done.”

“Wh-what are you talking about?” to say you thought you'd hear these words from him would be a big fat lie, but there was something different about him as you took a closer look; he seemed more void, more cold and more... Joker.

He laughed, shaking his head “You really don't know yourself that well, do ya? Your choice!” his yelling made you flinch like the first time you met him “I hoped I could have helped you figure it all out but you ooooh you still are so damn oblivious to many things about you... from loving the man I could be to being in love with every man he is.”

“I'm not oblivious to any of it. Just because I chose to ignore it to not hurt myself any further doesn't man I-” you pursed your lips, looking down at your hands “If you want to hear it and think you can take it, then I won't keep silent about it... I did chose Dean, I did chose him and Sam and would chose them any day without a second thought. They are my family, they are everything I've got, and I am doing this, I am staying here for them.” you sniffled, brushing away your tears hastily “But you got what you wanted in the end so-”

“Did I?” he finally looked at you “Because the way I see it...” he clenched his jaw, eyes red and glossy but mostly exhausted and broken beyond repair “None of us did.” he chuckled darkly “And that was not the deal.”

“What- What do you mean, J?”

~Several months later~

You sipped on your coffee, scrolling through the news in case you could find anything on a possible case. As much as you loved pampering yourself from time to time, getting the chance to relax after hunts, you always found yourself seekingout another one... mostly because deep down you hoped you'd run into him again.

A title caught your attention and you raised an eyebrow at it “Joker escapes Arkham Asylum, with help from Dr HarleenQuinzel.”

The mere mention of the name brought back so many memories of that wild day, of the day you thought you'd lose what you couldn't live without.

“I never said I would hunt them down. That wasn't the deal, no.” he let out a frustrated sigh “I never would do the slightest thing to hurt you, and if I went after them I knew just how bad that would do it... no matter how fun it would be. Isn't that crazy on its own?” he ran his fingers through his hair, throwing his head back as he laughed, coldly though “I asked for you, all of you, not just your physical presence or a part of you wanting to change me. Your mind chose me but your heart chose him.”

“You know I can't control it, I know the feelings I developed for you are- they matter, to me I want you to know that, but with Dean it's- Thre's just no comparing, and I wish you didn't have to hear this but-” you chewed on your lower lip “I stayed for them, and all I ask is for you to not hurt them.”

He let out a frustrated sigh, rolling his eyes “I said I'm not going to, why is it that hard to believe? I am crazy but I am not mad, I know how to protect beautiful roses like you and I would never do anything to make another tear roll down those cheeks.” he brought a hand up and ran his thumb over your cheek, for a second you could swear the man of the photo was standing in front of you.

“What is the point of all this, J? If you're just lying to calm me down and then-”

“Do I look like I'm lying?” he looked straight into your eyes.

“You look like you don't like what you're saying.” you spoke tired.

“No, I don't.” he grinned but his smile fluttered “Leave.” he growled and your eyebrows shot up in surprise “Leave, now, go find them and pretend I never existed... that you never did. 'S the only way I won't hunt you down. And above all-” his eyes were void,, held no emotion as if he was dead inside “Don't try come after me, you will regret it.”

“Do you really...?” you couldn't even complete your sentence from the shock, not because of what he was saying but mostly because you could see it was true.

“Go!”

And it took you time to understand it, because honestly his mind never worked in the most simple way, but if you put feeling to the equation as well it was all very simple: He wanted your heart, your soul, your mind and your body but Dean had most of it so he he didn't think it was enough. His mad laughter and the things crashing when you had exited his office that verified the struggle you'd seen inside. The struggle between Joker and who he once was evident. The happy man he once was, who finally realized you could thank for not having to say goodbye to your family forever. The man who pushed egoism aside and thought only the best for you.

“Harleen? Harleen.” you said softly, nodding your head “Maybe you found your Harley after all, J. Wish she has better luck than me.”you brought your cup of coffee to your lips but stopped when you heard a knock on the door.

Setting everything aside you got up from the couch to make your way to the door. If someone ever told you that you'd get a perfect house with a white picket fence while in the life and managed to make it all work, you'd have laughed straight in their face. But here you were. After leaving the Bunker - even if Dean wouldn't admit it out loud, fearing he'd lose you for good, that he wanted time to think about everything that had happened - you made sure to stay in touch and let them know you were fine, while keeping a guest room in your house ready for whenever they'd be ready to stop by or... even more, keep a bag ready in case they- well, he felt ready to take you back and-

“Dean?” you blinked, surprise impossible to hide from your face.

“Hey” he offered you that boyish grin you feared you'd never see again.

“Wh-what are you doing here?”

“Wow” he scoffed but smiled “Missed ya too, sweetheart.”

“No, I- I-” you laughed, shaking your head “Shut up Winchester and just... come here.” you breathed out, almost feeling happy tears well up in your eyes but you fought them back, before you spread your arms and without a second thought he gathered you in his arms and actually lifted you off the ground, your face burying in his chest and his in the crook of your neck as he inhaled deeply.

“I did miss you.” you whispered softly and he gave you a squeeze before he pulled away and gave you a half smile.

“'S good to see you again, (Y/n).” he cupped your cheek and you instantly felt your heart do a flip “Are we gonna talk here or will you invite me in?”

“No, of curse come- Wait, what is that?” you blinked, looking at the duffel bag behind him “Is everything ok with Sam?”

“Must there be something wrong with the two of and not, let's say, me wanting to come and...” he shrugged, trying to seem as cool as he possibly could “Not just be here to spend some time with you? Just the two of us... no hunting necessarily involved.”

“What?”

“I mean, if you'll take me... in this picture perfect house of yours.” he looked hesitant but your stomach was filled with so many butterflies and your heart was going miles per hour for you to think about anything else.

“Ours, Dean. It's ours, come and see it. There is a complete Bat cave just the way you wanted it too. So, yes...” you opened the way for him to get in “Ours.”

“Is there?” he chuckled softly, looking around “You gotta stop it, you know.”

“Stop what?” you bit your lower lip.

“Making the deal so sweet.” he took a deep breath before locking your eyes “It's making it impossible for me to not just kiss the heaven out of you before setting in here for good.”

“Well, I took a double bed just for you cuddles so if you feel like it...” you shrugged sheepishly and he gave you a soft smile.

“Trust me, I really do. I have for so long.” he breathed out before letting the duffel drop from his hands and cupped your face to press his lips to yours, a breath living both your lips.

~~~

@imagine-that-100 @arikas5744 @akshi8278 @captainmwinchester @mickey-m399 @easelweasel @spn-dean-and-sam-winchester @musicaltheatrejunkie @winchestergirl607 @castielsgrace-idjits @carinaryen @thegrungequeer @angieptt @chevycastiel1967 @waywardwolfdiaries @juggysgirlfriend @rochyu @brittany-workman @i-just-need-a-nap-please @jessikared97 @panic-angel3314 @gh0stgurl @spn-marvel-nerd @warwithfeels @lexiiiii28 @migirl323 @you-bleed-just-toknowyouarealive @colagirl5 @nerdcc-1701 @angelofchaos @xalgaliareptx @i-write-about-anything @isisqueenoffandoms @rasax45 @britt-janssens @imreallyweird @i-want-to-believe-x @seabasstiantrash