#i think i need to go out in the world like alanis intended.

[fizzlefunk]

Getting ready for work while listening to Alanis Morissette was a new high I was never ready for.

[itsclydebitches]

We run an inconvenience store. It's not the worst job in the world. 

Like the Alanis Morissette song, I tell people. They normally wander in with their mouths hanging down around their knees, sometimes brandishing pepper spray. Rain on your wedding day. Spoons when you just need a knife. Most of these things aren't real irony, they're just annoying coincidences. Inconveniences. That's what we sell here! 

Usually the sales pitch generates more skepticism, or the occasional gasp of delight. One guy stuck his meaty finger in my face and yelled, Are you threatening me? but then, that's retail. 

It's not the sort of place that gets repeat customers so I spend most of my days keeping track of the inventory, or playing Pokémon Go. I don't know what it is about the area but it's a straight up hot spot for shinies. Read a book. Paint your nails. It's a bit like being a security guard except you're protecting people from the place rather than the place from the people. Inconveniences can turn into tragedies real fast, so you've got to make sure customers know exactly what they're buying. Liability waivers and all that. Like, I had this one kid who came in off the highway—they all come in off highways—who accused me of being a shroom hallucination until I shot a rubber band in his face. 

Turns out he was on his way to Grandma's house. An honest to god visit to Grandma's with an honest to god teen who'd rather be doing literally anything else, including talking to me. If I didn't work precisely where I do I might have questioned the chances of it. Still, here he was, all sour expression and oversized headphones. Few know what they’re looking for when they wander in, so I suggested a flat tire. Simple. Classic. The sort of inconvenience that could ruin an unwanted trip but still let you cache in on the rest of the day. He was eager, in the way a puppy is eager because you're excited, so they're excited, though they don't actually know what they're excited about. All that tail-wagging stopped when I showed him the forms. 

Does your family keep a spare tire in their vehicle? We do not offer refunds for any inconveniences that are unexpectedly solved. 

Does your family have access to a service such as AAA, AT&T Roadside Assistance, or Better World Club? 

Do you or someone currently with you have access to a charged cellphone with reliable service? 

Has the driver of the vehicle ever been in an accident? 

Is the driver of the vehicle prone to panicking when confronted with an inconvenience? 

Does anyone in the vehicle suffer from conditions that may require time-sensitive medical assistance? 

Do you intend to use this inconvenience within the next 24 hours? 

And so on and so forth. People don’t really get what all they're agreeing to, but then, most inconveniences stay as they are. There's the occasional rain shower that leads to a slip and fall, or a ripped shirt that loses a job offer, but who's to say those wouldn't have come about anyhow? Perhaps there's a rock to trip over and the interviewer never liked your style. We're not in the business of fate, just making sure no one comes back after filing a lawsuit. 

Not that they're likely to find us again, but still. 

So the kid bought one flat tire and a mild cold to give to his dad. Got any snacks? he asked, handing over a credit card. The register screen was always too garbled to read the price. I'm supposed to be picking up snacks. 

We've got Abba-Zabas. 

The fuck is a Abba-Zaba? 

He left with three bars and an oath not to share them with anyone other than family. Secrets always make candy taste better. 

Encounters like that are the norm. That's really the long and the short of it, boring as it sounds. Our training video, if you will. People come in, they make purchases, sometimes for what they want, more often for what they need, I wrack up enough for a minimum wage-based apartment and we both leave  satisfied-ish. It's like any other store that way. Minus the liminal location and the risk of sales going south. Don't ever let a customer purchase more than one injury inconvenience at a time. I once had a grad student looking to get out of her midterms. She bought two broken wrists and I caught absolute hell from the manager. I mean, my uncle broke his wrist mopping up Arby’s. Six of one, half a dozen of the other, yeah? Not to PR though.

Hmm. There is something to be said for immaterial merchandise. It definitely helps keep the store clean! 

But I've prattled on long enough. I know there's only so much gold you can get from this pile of straw, though I'll be honest in saying there really are worse places to work. Take it from someone who's lost track of how long she's been here. 

So, interested in a job? 

Oh yeah, sorry the application isn't attached. Rather inconvenient. I think one of your friends was in here recently? Might want to check in with them. 

[popculturebuffet]

Pinky and the Brain: Brain’s Song Review or Why You Hatin on Bruce Willis? (Comissioned by BlahDiddy)

Hello, Hello, Hello you wonderful people! It’s back to the Animaniacs Cinematic Unvierse for some more pinky, pinky and the brain brain brain brain brain, as I still have those two christmas reviews left in the queue. And since I went over the ins and outs of the characters history last time, we can just get right to it. 

We open in Acme Labs, where Brain, tired of pinky’s antics is trying to a clockwork orange him into being emotionless by having him watch some emotional stuff. We also get some good gags but as usual for coveirng this show I can’t stop and cover every one, but this is a damn funny episode Point is Brain tries showing him things like evil kenivel and prscilla presley’s dear john letter to micheal jackson.. this episode has not aged well in places and we will get to that. Point is Pinky’s already tearing up when we get to a pastiche of the lion king but with tigers, which naturally opens the flood gates.. but in a nice twist it’s for BOTH of them. Brain despite himself can’t help sobbing and leaning into his buddy and the two hug. awwww.  Pinky tells him there’s no shame in it as “No one can resist emotionally manipulative story telling with a sad score.. except maybe g gordon liddy”.. I don’t get that last part, but the rest is really funny and naturally gives brain an idea: to make his OWN emotionally manipulative film. to make people so depressed they can’t do anything and wil lhand him the world. Making a supercut of bojack horseman’s gutpunching moments would be faster but neither supercuts nor that show exist yet so he’s left to instead write a pastiche of the movie Brian’s Song.  Brian’s Song is a tv movie about football players Brian Picollo and Gale Sayers, two star football players in college. According to tv tropes the two start out as rivals, become friends, Picollo helps Sayers recover from an injury.. then Sayers stays by Picolllo’s side as he slowly subcumbs to cancer. I only vaugely remembered it from I love the 80s and that it made people sad. Look i’ll go to the moon and back for comissions, even ones given out as a gift, but I draw the line at watching an entire 70′s tv movie, even with the unstoppably cool Billy Dee Williams starring in it as Sayers. I have limits.. and a best episodes of the year list to work on/watch the last few episodes for. I gotta draw a line somewhere.  That said.. this team knows how to do GOOD parody: i.e. you shoudln’t have to know the thing being parodied to get it, it just makes it even funnier. So while the Brian’s Song parody is lost on me, it still works as schmaltzy sports movies captalizing on real life events never died. SOMEHOW. Please stop hollywood, please, I know i’m not a sports guy but even that aside we don’t need any more. Or if your not going to at least give us a revivial of friday night lights. That’s how you make me care about sports. SO it still works well.  What dosen’t is most of the next bit, where our boys head off to hollywood. And look some bits are really funny: Brain having a rat tail and goatee

Don’t ask me why, pinky, who weirdly dosen’t have his own mechanical human suit, as his agent, it’s good. And what’s GREAT is the two pitching the film to tom hanks, the nicest guy in hollywood, only for him to throw a tantrum and demand they call him lord ruler. Given Hanks is STILL the nicest guy in hollywood to this day.. the joke is sitll hilarious, helped by the fact he’s one of my mom’s faviorite actors, so i’ve grown up with the guy my whole life. Love the guy genuinely great stuff, easily on par with that bit from the simpsons movie.  But the issue is.. that’s the ONLY funny gag for the next three minutes, as Brain pitches it to bruce wilis, who is on board till demi reminds him he has to watch the kids and stuff. GET IT BECAUSE HE’S A FAMILY MAN... LAUGH, LAUGH AT HIM BEING A RESPONSIBLE AND LOVING PARENT LAUGGGHGHHH. Seriously Bruce Williams is awesome what the hell man.  It gets no better as we get an unfunny montage of eveyrone turning down brain including Donny Most, as he just rose from the haze

Sunday Monday, happy days. Point is that one bit was funnier than the handful of minutes of my life i’m not getting back. Seriously a fourth of the episode is wasted on thiis and the bruce willis bit combined. Why. The ONLY funny part is the ending where they get rejected by vanilla ice.. which is only funny now because he’s since made a small career in film showing up in Adam Sandler films, so his threshold for being in shit films is low. Then again his musical talent took a steep decline.. yes it somehow got worse. 

Just in case you think I was bullshitting you. Point is no one will star in Brain’s film or help fund it so he decides to go full wiseau and make it himself.  So our heroes head home and we get some great bits in how they put it together. Brain INTENDS for Meadowlark Lemon, who I somehow knew was a Harlem Globetrotter, and who Brain taught to play his sidekick.. but he backs out so PInky gets the part afterall. Why? I don’t know.. seriously the joke dosen’t even remotely synch up. The only things he and bill dee share are being black and if that’s the reason they wanted to shove a globetrotter in this...

Yeah. Thankfully we’re past the poorly aged bits of this as the rest of the episode .. is just nonstop hilarity. There’s just too many jokes to go over, but some of hte best include: Brain’s hairpiece, mimicing Jame’s Caan, which is made of lint, Pinky having to wear stilts for one scene, using a treadmill to mimic walking, pinky finding great sets by raiding the garage finding a barbie playset for the hospital room and a game of electric football for the field. Huh I think ken burns made a documentary on that once. 

That’s also the only reason I know what Electric Football is.. also how did pinky carry all of that. Questions for later. Point is it’s just one clever gag after the next and you really DON’T need to know Brian’s Song to find this uproriously hilarious. Our heroes also flim it live, hyjacking the airwaves not to offer wishes but to air the film. Again the film is just one long string of great gags, no question so I’m not recapping it. But it works and the world leaders are too bummed out to do anything. Insert your own 2020 joke here.  But in a nice chekovs callback Brain sustained injuries being on the electric football set, so he vibrates at inportune times, thus causing everyone to laugh, foiling his plan> It’s a great payoff and I do like how, as I mentioned in my last pinky and the brain review, it’s often Brain’s own fault and not ALWAYS just “pinky screws up” like I remembered. Here his insitance on doing the scene again and again depsite the risk and not acknowlding his pain screws him over. 

Final Thoughts; This is a pretty good episode. Despite the down spot the last half of it is just so damn funny, again I coudln’t properly recap it because it was just one long string of great jokes and set pieces, and trasncends the film i’ts parodying. Worth a watch if you have hulu just fast forward a bit after the tom hanks bit. Also that was Dave Colier, aka terrible replacment venkman aka uncle joey aka that guy who somehow had sex with alanis morsette but is probably not the one that song is about. It was about Alf, wake up people. And for now I bid you all goodbye, goodbye, goodbye. 

[theworstbob]

yellin’ at songs: 1997, part one

the songs that debuted on the billboard chart between 11 january and 8 march 1997

that may seem like an arbitrary cut-off, and that’s because it is, my sleep got hella fucked and i couldn’t focus on listening to these songs for more than like three at a time (bob we know sgdq was last week) LET ME BELIEVE I TRIED MY BEST, but i have a soft deadline of tuesday for these posts and DIDN’T WANT TO SHORT YOU so here are 50+ reviews and i will do my darndest to catch up with 1997 by the end of the week

1.11.1997

65) "In My Bed," by Dru Hill

oh gosh this just kicks it off right. this is the epitome of '90s cheese: an absurdly talented man singing a song about heartbreak and/or lovemaking over a thousand chimes. bravo, everyone that could have made this happen. i expect i'll get as tired of slow-jam r&b tracks a thousand chime noises as i am of dumb meathead trap songs by the time i get to week 27 of 1997, but right now, it's a treat to hear a singer who is legitimately good at singing.

85) "What They Do," by The Roots

You know, I've never actually checked out a full The Roots album. I've always understood they would be something I like, and I understand it's something of a tragedy they're relegated to a sideshow for Jimmy Fallon (of all people, Jimmy Fallon), like, I'm familiar enough with them that listening to this song was like... Like, I went to a friend's birthday party a few months back, and it was at this bar I hadn't heard of. I'm not usually the sort of person who goes to bars, and I haven't been back since, but something about that bar just instantly felt like home to me, like, maybe the tacos, or maybe the atmosphere, or maybe the fact I nearly smoked weed for the first time with the chef, but I left that bar thinking, "This is the sort of place I'd like to be a regular." That's what listening to a 20-year-old Roots song is like. It's like instantly knowing you're home.

96) "Tears," by The Isley Brothers

"God so loved the world/That he blessed us all with you/Then he gave me a heart/And now I'm giving it to you" THAT IS AN AMAZING LYRIC AND THAT SINGLE-HANDEDLY SALVAGED THIS SONG AND THIS REVIEW. Like I was struggling with how to say this song was boring, but then that line just dropped into my lap, and it... It's as if the Christian god God so loved the world that he gave this lyric to us all, and then he gave me a heart so I could give it to this song. That is quality corniness, right there.

1.18.1997

62) "It's All About U," by SWV

1997 is batting 1.000 right now. This isn't quite an absolute jam, but there's some solid harmonies, a really fun funk-influenced track, and what sounds like Jay-Z going "unh" once every few seconds. This is a good time! 1997 is so much more fun than the other years, is the snap judgement I am making twenty minutes in. 2017 is the confused goth kid who mistakes being dark with being interesting, and 2007's a chill dude with the right person but kind of a stiff sometimes, and 1997's just the life of the party.

84) "Firestarter," by The Prodigy

Pobody's nerfect, 1997. Solid start, but even the best fall down sometimes. This dude describes himself as twisted in the chorus and in one of the verses, and when someone has to insist that they're twisted, that's how you know they're crazy. Oooh, this dude loves fire, that's not a trait this dude shares with a thousand teenage boys who all think they're funnier than they are. (Speaking from experience.) Such a wondrous mind to be so tortured! Truly the Kanye of his generation!

90) "Colour of Love," by Amber

OK. OK, so, this was an unpleasant thing to listen to, but man, listening to this song while having the video on in the background was an assault on the senses. The video is pastel in all the wrong ways, and I was heretofore a believer that there is no such thing as a wrong way to use pastel, but ye gods, the awful color scheme and the aggressively cheery song (LOVE IS GOOD. YOU WILL AGREE THAT LOVE IS GOOD. THIS IS HAPPY NOISES FOR HAPPY THOUGHTS.) made this potentially the most unpleasant listening experience i've had so far for YAS. 1997 has established a high ceiling and a frighteniningly low floor.

1.25.1997

11) "Wannabe," by Spice Girls

This song has 58,236 dislikes on YouTube. Mind you, this song is 20 years old. YouTube, to the best of my knowledge, does not allow you to view a video at random, though I'll cop to not knowing the full extent of YouTube's features. But to have listened to this song on YouTube, you had to go to YouTube intending to listen to this song, which means there are nearly 58,236 people on this planet who intentionally went to the official "Wannabe" music video on YouTube dot com solely to hit the dislike button. There are, obviously, more worthless people; I doubt that the entire Republican party is on YouTube. Hitting the dislike button on this video, though, is still a demarcation of general worthlessness. Anyway, this song, it's not as good as you remember or as bad as you want it to be. It's just a bad pop song elevated by memory. Also, none of these girls could sing. Like I didn't expect SWV-level work, but man, this was disappointing to listen to. Like, I watched Space Jam once as an adult because I was awake at 1 AM and wanted to fire off some tweets, only to learn that Space Jam wasn't like an amazingly bad movie it was just a lazily-written and poorly-acted and boring-bad, and hearing this song made me feel the same disappointment I felt watching Space Jam.

32) "Can't Nobody Hold Me Down," by Puff Daddy ft./Mase

I talk a lot about The Game's 1992 because it's an amazing album, but like the entire time I was listening to this song, I couldn't stop hearing the hook for "Orange Juice." Mostly because it's easy to ignore Mase. Not a good rapper, this man! Nor is P. Diddy! It's a classic track, and I am glad someone else made a better home for it.

33) "On & On," by Erykah Badu

This seems like one of those songs that sort of defies the point of this whole enterprise, because it demands a deeper listen and more thought than I, needing to cram hundreds of pop songs into a few hours spread across a few days, an able to give. This seems like a track that'll reward multiple listens, and Erykah Badu's on the same musical to-do list as The Roots, and it does not seem like a good track to gloss over so we can get to whatever trash is next. Leah Andreone, always a good sign when you don't recognize the name.

79) "It's Alright, It's OK," by Leah Andreone

MOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOM. MOM WHERE DID YOU PUT MY ALANIS CDS. OH MY GOD DON'T EVEN JOKE, IF YOU REALLY THREW THEM AWAY I'LL BE SO SAD. UGH, YOU'RE RUNING MY LIFE! This song is as wonderfully bad as I wanted "Wannabe" to be. Like, some of the pained noises she makes with her voice are making me laugh out loud. My goodness. SHE WAS 24! Man, I mean, this really puts Tay Tay into perspective a little bit, y'know? Like, Tay Tay wrote a lot of bad songs, but she never wrote anything so dumb as "Her ideas need expression/Her wounds never bleed/Her beauty lives in my eyes/Too bad she can't see." Like, the same age this woman was when she made this song, Tay Tay made "Style." We take Tay Tay for granted, is what I'm trying to say. "Cloudy diamonds freebase fun house." Just say meth, dude.

87) "Setting Sun," by CHEMICAL BROTHERS

You could give me a thousand hours and I wouldn't be able to tell you how this was meaningfully different from "Firestarter."

89) "Stand Up," by Love Tribe

This is a dance track I can get behind! Not some awful thing with noises meant to evoke darkness and mosery, a song that says "Hey, dancing is fun! Get out there and do it! Don't feel bad about it!" It's still Eurotrash, but at least it's the fun Eurovisiony side of the genre, not trash trying to disguise itself as recyclable materials.

91) "Another You, Another Me," by Brady Seals

...You know, I don't like that I had to listen to a Charlie Puth song for YAS 17, because Charlie Puth is a boring dude and his songs are bad, but at least Charlie Puth has something akin to a personality. "Marvin Gaye" is a song devoid of creativity, but at least I can identify Charlie Puth as someone who enjoys Marvin Gaye. Milquetoast white dudes in the '90s were just boring fucking white dudes. They didn't have to have ANYTHING like a personality, they could have a nice haircut and sing about love and that was it! I can't believe someone out there loved this song enough to keep it with them and uploaded it to YouTube. I can't believe someone remembered this song and uploaded it to YouTube.

92) "Don't Stop Movin'," by Livin' Joy

So all the dance tracks have been boring and don't really move my needle, but at least electronic music in the '90s wasn't trying to infuse itself with sensitivity or artistic ambition. It was just trash to dance to. None of these songs are "Something Just Like This." The Livin' Joy Wikipedia page states, "Sadly Livin' Joy never managed the same level of success from their first two singles," and I am glad there is a page on Wikipedia being so neglected that some subjectivity can sneak in. That "Sadly" speaks volumes about the state of Livin' Joy's Wikipedia page.

2.1.1997

19) "Every Time I Close My Eyes," by Babyface

This was fine. It's nice to dip back into the sexy R&B slow jamz, it'd been a week, I was worried maybe the trend was over, but nope, here it is, slow and sexy as ever. Well met. ...I think I might be exaggerating the slow jamz, looks like it may be a couple weeks before we get another one, I dunno, I just couldn't come up with anything fresh to say about this song. Guy loves his girl and sings well about it. Great!

52) "Things'll Never Change/Rapper's Ball," by E-40 ft./Bo-Rock

As a longtime enjoyer of podcasts on the Maximum Fun network, I have long been aware of E-40 from all the times Jesse Thorn has upheld the virtues of San Francisco rap. This is probably not a great introduction to E-40. I would not have guessed E-40 would have made a message song based on all the descriptions of him I had heard. It's not a great message song, it's like "What It's Like" but with a weirdly bouncy beat and a weaker condemnation of the listener ("some things will never change/that's just the way it is/when will we ever learn" are we supposed to, what, accept that things don't change? what do you want from me, song. how am i supposed to help).

76) "Watch Me Do My Thing (From All That)," by Immature ft./Smooth & Ed from "Good Burger"

It's kind of amazing that All That was ever a thing. It's a show that presumes that: 1) children would want to watch sketch comedy, 2) specifically sketch comedy performed by other children which are just incredibly silly things to presume. No child should be watching sketch comedy that isn't going to grow up to be a sketch comedian. This song, made with one of All That's most beloved recurring characters, is about as good as any song made by 10-year-olds for 10-year-olds is ever going to be. Well done, congrats, oh hey Marques Houston you pop up ten years later great for you!

77) "Let Me Clear My Throat," by DJ Kool

This song is one verse and then a man shouting at people for three minutes. I thought I listened to the live version on accident, but nope, this is the actual song, this is the canonical version, one verse and then A THOUSAND EXHORTATIONS. Ah! Ah! Ah ah ah! That means I want to party like DJ Kool and his friends. Ah! Ah! Sorry, sorry, he just told me to say "Ah!" after he said "Uh." He said that when he says freeze, he wants me to stop on the dime, so I guess I have no choice to obey him! I feel involved in th

93) "Runnin'," by Tupac, Notorious B.I.G., Radio, & Dramacydal

oh whoa a song with tupac and biggie on the track, that's crazy, i wonder if anything else happens in 1997 that would bring tupac and biggie together? Technically, this song is a 1995 release that people happened to purchase in 1997 for whatever reason, so despite being rather dope, I do wish I had found a reason to disqualify it from any consideration. I wouldn't have heard this song, but I would've saved five minutes and also not had to make the decision on whether I, someone mostly ignorant of hip-hop history, should write about the Tupac/Biggie feud. ...I mean, we're not done, not by any stretch of the imagination, but one less Tupac/Biggie-centric song would've been nice.

94) "My Baby Mama," by QT

So okay. Okay. This song, okay, this song? It's amazing. Like, let's get this out of the way, this song is the awesome bad the '90s knew I would one day need, like criminy, but this song? This song. This is a song about a man telling the mother of his child that she can always count on him, but also he pretty clearly left his baby's mama at some point, so she can't actually count on him. This song is so weird! This is the most loyal disloyal man alive. He sees his baby's mama at the mall with another man. "He was touching my baby/I went crazy/I shoulda beat that." DON'T BEAT UP YOUR BABY'S MAMA'S NEW LOVER AT THE SHOPPING MALL FOR TOUCHING YOUR CHILD, JEEZY PETES. Maybe QT isn't the greatest male role model for his kid to have. Gosh, I'm glad this song got put into my life.

96) "Whateva Man," by Redman

nothing like enjoying a classic hip-hop song and then they describe the effect the marijuana they are smoking is having on them by declaring themselves "chinky eyed." that's such a delightful turn of phrase, i hope we never get rid of it, it's so comfortable to think about and consider. also, "I smoked with a lot of college students/Most of 'em wasn't graduatin' and they knew it." that's a quality line. it's no chinky-eyed! it's still pretty great.

2.8.1997

66) "Please Don't Go," by No Mercy

This is absolutely solid. It's a fun Latin twist on the standard '90s pop song, like not 100% Latin pop, just a normal pop song with enough Latin influence to make it more unique than that Amber nonsense from a thousand years ago. Just a grand old time, better than most of the things I've had to listen to so far to be sure, if maybe not great enough to justify the enterprise. We will unearth a classic, and not an ironic one like "My Baby Mama," we will find something that didn't deserve to be forgotten, and we will find it in this post!

75) "I Always Feel Like (Somebody's Watching Me)," by Tru ft./Ice Cream Man (Master P) & Mia X

If you'll permit me to grade this song based on what it isn't, this song was not a cover of the Rockwell song with a lazy rap verse attached, and I am ever grateful for that. As for the track: neat! All involved did fine work! Mia X's verse was particularly worthy of note, that young woman was out her mind, and I appreciated it. Good work! This also is not the classic I was hoping to unearth, this isn't the nugget we're hoping to find, but flakes in our pan are nothing to sneeze at.

78) "We Danced Anyway," by Deana Carter

Hey! Country! Welcome! This is pleasant. Week 5 of 1997 has just been pleasant, not great, just nice songs by nice (hopefully) people that I can accept.

95) "Fired Up!" by Funky Green Dogs

House music, you just have to ruin everything good, don't you? Quick note about YouTube comments: the YouTube comments under every other genre are "man, my preferred genre of music was way better back when music still sounded good to me," but for house, you don't see people trashing the Chainsmokers or whatever, you just see comments like, "Man, this song was playing the first time I took mushrooms. What a trip!" and it's like, good on ya, house music people. Your music is horrendous, but y'all good people.

98) "Passion," by K5

YouTube Comments Under Shitty Dance Music, Vol. I Commenter: I shuffle skate to this almost every Saturday, the high point of my week Uploader: Wish they still had skatin rinks around here man. Miss those days. Someone in this exchange is the sadder person, but I can't tell if it's the only person whose single-greatest joy is derived from a weekly trip to the roller rink or the person who can't make time in their schedule for the roller rink. We had a good thing going with this set of five songs, and now I'm just sad for these people who love roller skating too much.

2.15.1997

56) "What's on Tonight," by Montell Jordan

"I pray that you're wearing Victoria's Secrets/Oh, that blows my mind" That's acceptable! I enjoy the image of a woman wearing lingerie that this song brings to mind! I agree with this song so far. "Now what should I bring/Strawberries I'm thinkin/Or some honey for your toes" I'm out. Nope. You can't get me to sway to your foot thing. I refuse. I'm not gonna do it. How dare you even try, sir. Gosh. We had something really great going, and the -- don't talk about toes! Not on the single, man! Sir, this is NOT how we do it.

78) "I'll Be," by Foxy Brown ft./Jay-Z

BABY JAY! This song is phenomenal. I don't really think about how deep the roster of female rappers was in the '90s, but man, the woman on "I Always Feel Like" and Foxy Brown have both killed it. Like, I defy anyone to come away from this song thinking Jay-Z badly overshadowed Foxy Brown. He overshadows her, yeah, it's Jay-Z in a moment where he was getting mighty close to the peak of his powers (if he wasn't already there), but Foxy Brown more than holds her own, and the realtive equality at play makes this song a complete jam. Highlight of the year so far!

79) "It's in Your Eyes," by Phil Collins

Ugh.

87) "Take Your Time," by Tre ft./Krayzie Bone

this was cool and also it faded from memory as soon as the song ended also i'm trying to find out more information about Tre but apparently the band doesn't exist and they have a name with really poor seo. like, the wikipedia page for krayzie bone's discography doesn't even mention this song, and i find it hard to believe this was the most forgettable song krayzie bone ever featured on. the wiki lists two songs where some entity named Damizza is the lead artist, but omits tre from the complete record of krayzie bone history. this is weird, like the song is forgettable beyond the "take. your. tiiiiiiiiiime" chorus, but it deserves better than complete erasure!

88) "The Theme (It's Party Time)," by Tracey Lee

This is chill. It's as disposable as any of the rap tracks in 2007 or 2017, no one is pointing to this basic party jam when arguing the virtues of '90s hip-hop, but not every song is going to be a classic, and this song wasn't intended to sound like something more than a red Solo cup. OK work, sir. Congrats on making an accpetable song.

92) "Without Your Love," by Angelina

...look, i've been writing these posts for 27 weeks, and i'm more than a month deep into 1997. i don't claim to know every word i write, but i know i have not used this word before, because i don't believe it has critical value, but i'm listening to this song, and i can't tell if i have the right version, but i'm with this song, and, like, the beat sounds like farts. i'm sorry. but that's the most accurate descriptor available. there are fart noises on this track. people played this song on the radio! it has been seven months and i've made myself listen to multiple piles song, i am entitled to point out that a song sounds like farts when it legit sounds like farts. i'm sorry, angelina. you seem nice. your song is unpleasant.

93) "Drop Dead Gorgeous," by Republica

ye gods, it's as if they mashed everything bad about '90s music into one song. all it's missing is an allsuion to a foot fetish, and it would've checked every box on the list of things i hate about doing this to myself so far.

2.22.1997

10) "Discotheque," by U2

You can't tell me white privilege doesn't exist when we live in a world where U2 was allowed to continue making music after making this song. What the hell is this. If Apple tried to put this on our Apple-brand devices, they would have gone bankrupt. This is... How is dance music so fucking hard? You make a fun song that sounds like it'd be fun to dance to. That sounds simple. I don't get how every single band in the '90s trying to make dance music got it so wrong. Oh no he just went "ha! ha! ha! ha!" in the awful Bono falsetto. Mistakes were made.

17) "Don't Cry for Me Argentina," by Madonna

Man., at least when 2007 gave us Broadway, they gave us Jennifer Hudson's rendition of "And I Am Telling You I'm Not Going." Who asked for this. Who was buying Madonna singing Andrew Lloyd Webber. I mean, I guess that's not the craziest decision one could make with their money, but like these people probably also paid for the full soundtrack and for tickets to see the movie and likely the VHS copy, specifically to see Madonna performing Andrew Lloyd Webber, and like, I get it, but also, I don't.

37) "Hard to Say I'm Sorry," by Az Yet ft./Peter Cetera

There's a riff about halfway through the song that nearly made me get out of my chair and shout, like I don't usually feel that way about people doing things with a collection of voices outside of Pentatonix songs, but there is absolutely a moment in this song that gave me chills. I miss this! I miss when people could sing, when the most impressive vocal feat on a song wasn't someone trilling their rs when they say "skrrt."

47) "Barrel of a Gun," by Depeche Mode

DAMNIT EVEN DEPECHE MODE IS BAD. All electronic-influenced music in the '90s was bad, and they even infected Depeche Mode. Depeche Mode is an entity I always understood to be good! This is disappointing. I thought this would at least be something I could get into the Brandi Carlisle or Paramore song I could claim was #1 over far more deserving or iconic tracks, but nope, it's just pointless noise. I'm bummed.

53) "Just Another Day," by John Mellencamp

So a ton of these songs have been absolutely awful. I don't think there's a single week in 1997 so far that would win, and despite weak weeks for the 21st century, it's not looking good for 1997. But this song is a reminder that what doesn't kill me doesn't kill me, so fill me up for just another day IT ONLY HURTS WHEN I BRwrong "Just Another Day" sorry, sorry. This "Just Another Day." It's OK. Look, it's John "Cougar" Mellencamp with another rockin' jam about small town America, I'm sorry, I don't, fuck do you want me to say about this? Just, like, some days I feel like dying, when I'm really only trying to get through "Just Another Day."

57) "Say... If You Feel Alright," by Crystal Waters

Every single house song has the exact same goddamn drum line and it's the fucking drum line from "I'm So Sexy" and it makes me angry every time it starts playing. Everyone who feels nostalgia for this is wrong. There's a comment under the video that just says "The Streetboys," and it has one like, so I'm glad someone agrees with Nairda on this topic.

73) "I'm Not Feeling You," by Yvette Michele

I haven't made the Top 20 yet but I wouldn't be surprised if the entire 1997 Top 20 is just R&B. This year got one thing right, and man, it got that thing incredibly right. Even the slow jamz, they're endless, but only one of the many has been outright awful so far, and even that was tolerable until the allusion to the foot thing, which is still incredibly upsetting I know it's 2017 and I should be desensitized but maybe let's not mainstream foot things, 1997? I'm not focusing on this song, which is amazing and I love it and is '90s in all the best ways. There's a spoken outro! A SPOKEN OUTRO! An absolute classic. It's criminal this only peaked at #44 on the US charts, absolutely criminal.

80) "The Freshmen," by The Verve Pipe

Is this legit the first alternative rock song? How about that, I thought 1997 would be teeming with this sort of thing. Depending on the day, this is either the pinnacle of post-grunge or a combination of everything silly about the genre. It can be all things to all people. The guy has a pleasant growl and it's a song on a heavy subject that treats that subject with respect, and at the same time, it is exceedingly dour and there's 30 seconds of the dude just going "yeah" like in every '90s alt-rock song.

94) "Here's Your Sign (Get the Picture)," by Bill Engvall ft./Travis Tritt

Sometimes I think I'm not where I'm supposed to be in life, and then I remember that Jennifer Lawrence used to be a series regular on The Bill Engvall Show, and I remember I'm supposed to be on a journey home. Oh, this song? Well le -- oops! My fingers accidentally typed "electrolite" into the search bar, well no sense arguing with fate!

96) "Electrolite," by R.E.M.

This is slight. Like, I was worried I was judging this against the rest of R.E.M.'s ouevre? Because obviously, if I haven't heard of an R.E.M. song before, it's because it's not good, but judging any song based on whether or not it's better than "Losing My Religion" is dumb. But like this is just a nice alt-rock song that isn't packed to the brim with Meaning. It was a pleasant four minutes and I'm sure it made a fine closing track for whatever album it was on, but it wasn't really much of anything.

3.1.1997

31) "I Want You," by Savage Garden

Yo this song is kind of perfect? The "chic-a-cherry cola" in the verse is instantly memorable, I thought I hadn't heard this song before but then he said "chic-a-cherry cola" and I shouted "I TRIED TO MAKE THAT NOISE SO MANY TIMES!" which was a fun thing to do at 4:30 AM on a Tuesday, neighbors were happy. That's also a really dope bass line, maybe I just get irrationally excited every time a bass does more than exist on a song, but that bass kills. This was great. I'm trying to put into Smart Words what makes this song great, but I keep writing "something something propulsive," but I'm having trouble, which is usually when you can tell a song is great, because your brain doesn't want to think about why it's great, it just wants to accept it's great. But this song just, I dunno, it moves forward. It's up-tempo, but with these rap-like verses and that bass line, it's like the song is trying to rush through the wanting stage and actually get to the person? I need more time but I gave myself a deadline of Wednesday MOVING ON love this song

42) "Return of the Mack," by Mark Morrison

In the eighth week, 1997 delivered two absolutely perfect songs, and I am so pleased. This is one of the best "HELL YEAH, I'M SINGLE!" songs of all time, like it's up there with "Since U Been Gone," except it's a little more well-rounded. There's an actual story arc in this song -- a man who used to be a real playa found a woman he could settle with, build a life with, but then she broke the trust, and after allowing himself to be depressed, Mark Morrison has regained his confidence and is determined to show that living well is the best revenge. He is ready to return to his former self. Like "Since U Been Gone" is just "fuck you, dude," this song is "STRIKE ME DOWN AND I SHALL RISE STRONGER THAN I HAVE EVER BEEN." I honestly don't know why we've been wasting our time listening to other songs, this is it, this is The Song.

62) "Falling in Love (Is Hard on the Knees)," by Aerosmith

The true miracle of "Return of the Mack" is that it's a song that could be a novelty. Like, I had to kind of make sure I wasn't treating the song like pure '90s kitsch. It's, as far as I can tell, a debut single with the word "Return" in the title, and it's made by a dude who had top ten singles in the UK called "Moan & Groan" and "Horny." But "Return of the Mack" absolutely holds up, it's not just some '90s ridiculousness, it is a legitimate masterpiece of a pop song. Everything works well. It's just, y'know, perfect. I want to think about it forever.

76) "Cupid," by 112

Because who wants to think about love songs? The people in love songs have lives outside of the love songs. How did they get in that bed? Who is that person they brought to bed? Is it really true love? "Return of the Mack" answers those questions for any slow jamz he might've made (because he's The Mack, it doesn't matter, and probably not but he will love her truly for a night), but when I listen to 112 say that Cupid doesn't lie, it sort of sounds like Cupid was just haphazardly spraying his arrows any which way and one of them happened to land on these people and I don't know who they are but I'm certain they're finna fuck. And that's OK. But, again, I hate to belabor the point, I could have listened to "Return of the Mack."

79) "Do G's Get to Go to Heaven?" by Richie Rich

This dude looked at the VHS cover for All Dogs Go to Heaven and before his eyes the word "Dogs" separated and he saw "Do Gs Go to Heaven" and he was struck with inspiration, and now that I know the song title is a pun I am fine saying this song is awful. It's a song about how bad life in the street is, but as long as there's reason to believe the song title is a play on All Dogs Go to Heaven, there is no reason to listen to it. There are no puns in "Return of the Mack," FWIW.

81) "Talk to Me," by Wild Orchid

The bronze medal this week is nothing to be ashamed of. Hey: how come there's only one girl group of note in 2017? We have plenty of boy bands (or maybe it just feels that way because of all the many directions), but only Fifth Harmony holding the mantle for girl groups. Seems silly. 2017 could be doing a lot of things better, but specifically the girl group thing is something to be highlighted for at least one second.

90) "King Nothing," by Metallica

Metal music is impressive on a purely technical level -- I mean, have you fucking heard "Through the Fire and the Flames?" That's amazing, that people can make music that sounds like that. But this is post-"Enter Sandman" Metallica, which isn't metal music as I understand it, is just shitty slightly-darker buttrock, so I'm not even listening to a sick as hell guitar solo, I'm just getting some bullshit I could get from Candlebox or whatever else was active.

3.8.1997

21) "Big Daddy," by Heavy D

"What do people like about The Notorious B.I.G.?" "That he's arguably the best rapper of all time at this point in music history?" "Hm... Maybe... But what else?" "I dunno, he's a big dude?" "That's it! Just find me a big dude, and we'll make him a STAR!" And this is why I'm listening to a Heavy D song 20 years later.

55) "Let It Go," by Ray J

This is a six-minute song and I just, I don't understand why this would need to be six minutes? I only got, what, three and a half minutes with "Return of the Mack," and yeah I understand I could've said nuts to this project and been listening to "Return of the Mack" this whole time, but it seems unfair I would have to put in effort to listen to "Return of the Mack" for six minutes but just let this song mosey along while looking at Prime Day deals. Happy belated Prime Day, everyone.

72) "Gangstas Make the World Go Round," by Westside Connection

1997 Week 9 is all about songs that play at a pleasant clip that are extremely listenable, not outright classics, not songs to sing from the tops of mountains, just great soundtracks for the rest of your day. I say this knowing full well it's going to make me listen to Kenny G, but hey, three B+s are nothing to complain about.

83) "Call Me," by Le Click

...I guess if I have to dive into Europe's garbage, I should be thankful to find something which either possesses some value or is edible. This song is OK, and yeah it kind of sounds like "Hamsterdance" or "Axel F" or whatever early-Internet meme you prefer, but there's a solid vocal performance and it's not aggressively awful, it's subtly awful, the awful takes a backseat to things that sound like music on this one. I am glad to have found a dance track that didn't make me want to quit.

95) "Havana," by Kenny G

You know, Kenny G is something of a cultural punchline, but I gotta say, he earned his status.

Top 20 for weeks 1-9 (33% of the way there!) 20) "Call Me," by Le Click (3.8) 19) "Whateva Man," by Redman (2.1) 18) "Stand Up," by Love Tribe (1.25) 17) "Gangstas Make the World Go Round," by Westside Connection (3.8) 16) "Take Your Time," by Tre ft./Krayzie Bone (2.15) 15) "My Baby Mama," by QT (2.1) 14) "We Danced Anyway," by Deana Carter (2.8) 13) "The Freshmen," by The Verve Pipe (2.22) 12) "I Always Feel Like (Somebody's Watching Me)," by Tru ft./Master P & Mia X (2.8) 11) "Hard to Say I'm Sorry," by Az Yet ft./Peter Cetera (2.22) 10) "It's All About U," by SWV (1.18) 9) "In My Bed," by Dru Hill (1.11) 8) "Talk to Me," by Wild Orchid (3.1) 7) "Please Don't Go," by No Mercy (2.8) 6) "On and On," by Erykah Badu (1.25) 5) "I Want You," by Savage Garden (3.1) 4) "What They Do," by The Roots (1.11) 3) "I'm Not Feeling You," by Yvette Michele (2.22) 2) "I'll Be," by Foxy Brown ft./Jay-Z (2.15) 1) "Return of the Mack," by Mark Morrison (3.1) 1997 looks pretty thin, but hey remember when 2017 had two Big Sean songs in the top 20? THE BEST IS YET TO COME apart from the fact it probably has, seriously y’all “Return of the Mack” owns but then again “Hypnotize” okay scratch that i ever scratched that THE BEST IS YET TO COME because THE BEST IS YET TO COME

[these---days]

Procrastination

1. Favourite colour --> Green.. but sometimes purple, or Teal... idk

2. Number of people you’ve slept with --> 2 3. Cake or ice cream? I don’t care for dessert but Cake over Ice Cream 4. If you were a superhero what would your power be? Seeing the future so I can 1) win the lottery to give money to all of the people and 2) see future regrets and change them as necessary 5. Ever been in a fist fight? Yup... or well, it was one sided as the person was being a drunk douche. I’m pretty patient and not easily angered but was the last straw when they were crap to an ex... so i ran across the room and their face met my fist as we went through a window ;). 6. Do you live in the country or the city? City 7. Biggest kink? I really can not think of anything... it’s been a while since I even gave a shit... refer to my #2 response lol 8. Favourite video-game? Assassin’s Creed 2....Classic maybe Crash Bandicoot or Zelda: A Link to The Past (honourable mentions - Heavy Rain bcuz it was the first game of it’s kind, NHL 200 something cuz I played it for a straight week and Parappa the Rapper for the memories I had while playing it) 9. Words you live by? I’m not religious but, “God grant me the serenity to accept the things I can not change, Courage to change the things I can, and the wisdom to know the difference”  10. Best book you’ve ever read? Okay well this changes constantly there’s been a lot. Great Gatsby and Lord of the Flies were my first... Stone Butch Blues made me tear up after 20 pages... The Alchemist... The Hours... Tom Robbins though hands down has the best books. If you can’t tell I have a hard time with decisions or ONE STRAIGHT ANSWER (no pun intended) 11. Favourite film? .... REALLY... same as above, too many. The Hours, Girl, Interrupted, Eternal Sunshine, The Curious Case of Benjamin Button, Requiem for a Dream.... and honorable mention is Rocky Horror because I wouldn’t call it my fav but I do love it 12. Horror or romance? neither 13. Biggest fear? I’m usually more afraid of the anticipation of a thing than the actual THING... Otherwise no real “fears” in particular, I just spoke easily and get nervous a lot 14. Best memory? I have no idea. Maybe my 19th birthday weekend. First time people actually worked hard at surprising me, I felt really cared about and important to people outside of my family AND the girl I liked (but swore I wouldn’t tell bcuz I couldn’t lose anymore friends based on being a lesbian) kissed me. So that was a high.  15. Worst memory? There have been a lot... but to be honest everything becomes pretty neutral or numb (for best or worst memories) 16. Where are you from? Toronto, Canada 17. Ever done anal? no thankssss 18. Would you prefer to be Mary Berry’s grandchild or Paul Hollywood’s bitch? I would like to “Berry” “Hollywood”  19. Favourite outfit? Ugh I do not have one right now... maybe my underwear and a baseball shirt since that is usually my go to bed/not going out outfit ;) 20. Snapchat or Instagram? i dont care 21. If you could freeze time what would you do? nothing. I’m fucking frozen.  22. Best LUSH product in your opinion? Who knows, a bath bomb? I don’t go here 23. Should people wear red shirts or brown pants in your presence? nothing is the correct answer .. my life is so sad that I am still answering these 24. Favourite television character? Willow Rosenberg 25. Do you have a nemesis? Time, money, the patriarchy, capitalism, heterosexism... must I go on? 26. Are you a hard-worker? When other people are depending on me for sure. If it’s only for myself... not so much I think. But for a job, ya I’ll work harder than probably necessary to my disadvantage typically.  27. What’s the best holiday you’ve ever been on? Backpacking Australia 2012 with my sis 28. What’s your dream? I have none 29. Where do you see your life ending up? well... it wasn’t here that’s for sure 30. Describe your last sexual encounter. LOL I CAN’T EVEN REMEMBER IT ITS BEEN THAT LONG 31. Cake by the ocean or sex on the beach? Cake by the Ocean... of course? 32. Ever done drugs? Obviously... Tylenol is a fucking drug you know ;) 33. Harry Potter or Lord Of The Rings? LOTR 34. Are you a jock or a nerd? lol... NERD... my best job in sports usually consisted of getting hit for the sake of the team 35. On a scale of 8 to 34.7, how gay are you? I am a strong 5.8 on the Kinsey Scale 36. Do you live for Tumblr discourse or hate it? meh 37. Favourite trashy television show? ugh sadly I will watch are you the one? or Survivor, Big Brother, MTV’s the Challenge 38. Last time you watched porn? lol i dont even know... also not even really my thing tbh 39. Do you have a recurring sexual fantasy? nope 40. Weirdest dream you ever had? i dont even know 41. Ever had mental health issues? yup 42. What’s the answer to the question you wish someone would ask you? no way, really? you’re joking! (lol) 43. Do you wish people paid more attention to you? omg no  44. Do you have anyone who you’d happily slap right across their chops? we live in a world with Trump in it... also about 2649473647823648232 political and capitalist assholes 45. Dog person or cat person? I can be both but DOGSSSSSS ... i became allergic to cats but I still end up all over them and suffer the consequences :’(

46. Sneakers or heels? LOL sneakers. No one needs to witness me in heels 47. Favourite cocktail? GT 48. Day or night? I’m a night person but I WISH I was a day person 49. Pokémon or Digimon? -mon 50. How big is your dick? YUGE 51. Favourite musical? Ugh I think I had a new one but oh well, Phantom of the Opera was my old one... Mamma Mia only because it’s all ABBA 52. Favourite song? Exit to a Movie by Radiohead but the version Westworld played during season 1. I love SO many though. (I will always love Cat Power and Regina Spektor though) 53. Are you secretly a goblin/alien/android? I am a Gob-lien-droid 54. Why are you like this? I’m sure it’s a mix genes, timing, contextual influence of the social determinants of health, my individual intersections and situational freedoms... along with my “choose my own adventure” decisions or non-decisions in life ;). THAT A COMPLETE ENOUGH FUCKING ANSWER FOR YA 55. What’s your guilty pleasure? sleep. Also sadly the movie Imagine you and me... omg #whatasap 56. What would you say if I said ‘I love you’? weird 57. What’s the story behind your URL? It’s from the movie Amelie 58. Tell me something that worries you. everything pretty much all the time... I would really love some regular massages. Or to remember the time when for a while I had no worries, had no tension and slept like a fucking BABY 59. What have you been worrying about today? Falling (literally), the work I have to get done, Money, School, Life after school, future work, decisions about where to live and what work options I’ll have, getting a dog, If I’ll have to date again to help make those decisions lol... Also accidentally became a klepto and found something in my luggage from a trip that I feel bad for taking... I don’t even know how or why it happened lol 60. I’m only sending you these questions because I have a crush on you and I’m too tragic to actually just say it. TOO BAD FOR YOUUUUU SUCKAAA 61. Hot dogs or burgers? depends 62. Nintendo or the other trash-consoles? Going outside 63. Which fandom ruined a show that you used to like? none. I dont know... fandoms do not define me! 64. What do you wish you could tell your best friend? I’ve got nothing 65. Tell us a deep dark secret. I have a secret... it’s is deep.... but it is also dark....  66. Are you curious about having a man in leather spank your botty 'til it’s all red? I think I’m good but have fun with that 67. Favourite Tumblr couple? How do you even know tumblr couples?! 68. Do you have any dietary quirks? Nope.. maybe I’m getting lactose sensitive sometimes? Mostly I think it’s stress though 69. Do you want to have someone pleasure your genitals orally while you do the same to theirs? Not right no thanks I’m busyyyyy 70. How old are you? 31 last friday... 71. Which Buzzfeed listicle sums up your existence? WHAT IS A LISTICLE..also I ain’t got time for thattt 72. Do you have any pets? not anymore :’(... I got allergic to them #STORYOFMYLIFE 73. What colour underwear are you wearing? The are green and pink. Dark green with like jungle like leaves and flamingos <3. (American Eagle short briefs idk what they are called..) 74. Boxers or briefs? read #73 75. Fuck me, Ray Bradbury? You seem unsure of yourself there... or were you just giving an angry rant at yourself and then asking if Ray Bradbury was around... hmmm 76. Which television show do you want to last forever? Buffy but it isn’t on TV anymore and instead in Comic form 77. In a zombie apocalypse how long would you last? Instantly dead for sure... I’d just drop a huge rock on my head and be done with it lol 78. Do you have good internet connection or do you want to punch your router every ten minutes? ALSO WANT TO PUNCH EVERYTHING WITH MY INTERNET CONNECTION 79. Would you find it somewhat saucy if I sent bawdy nudes in your direction? Not particularly... unless you were serious about them and then I’d use like paint and make them hilarious haha omg ya that’d be great 80. Which country has the best flag? I was horrible about georgraphy lol.... I would throw knowing flags into that category  81. Do you consider yourself *iconic*? I consider myself *ironic* ... ew wait not in a hipster way... just wanted to throw out Alanis since that’s what came to mind here 82. Most overrated food? Bacon 83. Most overrated film? So many 84. Most overrated television show? Friends 85. Most overrated type of cheese? Babybel 86. Which brand would you never shop at? There’s a few ethical ones but also gotta check privilege with whether you can afford to skip some stores/brands  87. Wisdom, courage, or power? Wisdom 88. Would you prefer to travel in time and stay in the same spot, or travel in space with time elapsing as normal? Space would give me anxiety... but staying in the same spot would give me anxiety. CONUNDRUM 89. What’s the best birthday present you ever got? A girlfriend...For more on that check the “best memory” response I guess... although brithday present makes it sound like a person was an object/commodity that could be claimed and that’s not what I mean... trying to be funny just got serious RIGHT QUICK 90. What present do you wish someone would give you? I have no real wants.. just time with people. Or one day for all my friends to be together and nobody disliked anyone and could have a good time and get along for me... actually that would be the best present in the world but will never happen so alas, there is no reason for birthday parties anymore 91. Do you have an ex? Why did you break up? Yes. We had expired on our 9 lives. 91. Why does 91 appear on this list twice now? Because you typed it twice 92. Spare a thought for the humble creator of this list, it’s difficult to think of this many questions. Make the list shorter 93. Do you prefer anons or non-anons? onions 94. Who do you wish you could have sex with more than any other? more than any other...... ???  95. What is your spirit animal? A KOALA, the sleep for like 22-23 hours of the day 96. Do you have one word that you really love the sound of? Tangent. Conundrum... idk 97. Do you still have any of your stuffed toys from when you were a kid?yup 98. What makes you super nostalgic? Random things, nothing particular 99. Give me an answer to a random one of these questions. (But don’t make it a shit answer like 'yes’. Don’t be an asshole.) asshole 100. What’s your favourite cocktail? SUP REPEAT 101. Sonic screwdriver or Ron’s shit broken wand from the second Potter book? OOGA BOOGA MAN FROM CRASH BANDICOOT lol 102. Laptop or PC? laptop 103. What’s the sexiest accent in your opinion? meh 104. Would you let Donald Trump tickle your nipples for an hour for £6,000,000? FUCK DONALD TRUMP ... i can’t even be funny with this one I just start fuming at his mention  105. You should check out a great little British website called Pretty52. This should’ve been for question 52..... so nope. 106. If you could dye your hair any colour, what colour would you change to? I’m good. 107. What would you change about your body if you could? I’d work out and eat healthy... idk.... bodies are bodies and they are the way the are for whatever reason to each their own. I’m for people changing their bodies and for not doing so at all. For me I only change stuff if I physically get pained otherwise it’s all aesthetics which is trivial. 108. Do you prefer to be hot or cold? hot 109. What’s your favourite way to orgasm? having one I guess lol? 110. Are you a mermaid or a unicorn? unicorn (I can’t swim so) 111. What’s the name of your favourite pet when you were a kid?I had none. So deprived.  112. What was your favourite class at school? History maybe? 113. Are you superstitious? kind of but not seriously 114. What do you think happens when we die? When I get there I’ll let you know 115. Pie or pi? PI!!! BTW, getting a McFlurry on Pi day is hilarious because the total for one in Canada with taxes is 3.14!!!! #nerdalert 116. Your followers a question. Are you questioning my followers??? 117. Lick my genitalia. I’m good thanks  118. What’s your favourite number? 8 119. Do you ever look up at the stars and feel small? nope 120. Do you have a good relationship with your parents?it’s.. fine 121. Tell me about a quirky personality trait. I have no idea 122. What was your favourite story when you were younger? My mom used to tell Caterpillar bedtime stories... the stories would start with the caterpillar having a certain amount of legs and this caterpillar would be playing some kind of game/sport against my family of 4 and in each sport my mom would make up how the caterpillar lost it’s legs. The story was over when they lost all their legs and we won lol.  123. Are you old before your time or young at heart? Ugh I  WAS old before my time as a child... after 25 I’ve been trying to peter pan through life because now we’re stuck being old and I want a chance at childhood again haha 124. Why do you do the things you do? Please. Tell me. It’s a mix of contextual factors as I’ve answered for another question lol 125. I hope you enjoyed these questions. they actually were not that great... I am underwhelmed 126. Which Tumblr blog would you recommend to all your fans? one that upgrades them to a good old airconditioner

[me-miran-raro]

MIXTAPES ARE BACK AND BETTER THAN EVER

(the personification of angst)

The 90’s are back in FULL swing so with Fuller House on Netflix and Girl Meets World on Disney (yea I know, I don’t wanna talk about it) it was about time mixtapes re entered the stage, but in a modern way…

Spotify lets us 90s junkies feel the thrill of making that perfect mix of songs for whatever occasion.  You’re in control of your own destiny while making these playlists so things can get WEIRD—if you want them to.

So for this playlist I had a clear vision. My goal was to capture teenage angst throughout the decades. I know it sounds stupid but dammit you’re going to like it! To achieve my goal I outsourced and asked several people, including friends and family, for songs they listened to when they were teenagers, or if they are teenagers, for songs they listen to now. I combined these suggestions with my own songs and out of that amalgamation this playlist was born.

YOU CAN’T HANDLE THE ANGST:

Calma Pueblo (Calle 13)

Ok I know you’re tired of me waving my Puerto Rican pride in your face but listen, this is a great song. Residente raps about the issues of being an artist and being true to yourself in the industry all over a GUITAR RIFF, come on that’s bad ass.

Stressed Out (Twenty One Pilots)

I only have one thing to say about this and that is: this speaks to my tired (very tired) soul.

Smells Like Teen Spirit (Nirvana)

I can’t even express my love for this song. Back when I was 14 I thought I was so cool because I listened “classic and therefore good” music. But man this song stands the test of flannels and time.

Don’t You (Forget About Me) (Simple Minds)

The Breakfast Club. That is all

Teenagers (My Chemical Romance)

Whew! This one takes me back y’all. This was me in my “half of my hair is going over my eye and I hate everyone” stage. I’m contractually obliged to include an emo trinity song in here because hello? When I think of angst I think emo.

SEE WHAT I MEAN????

Heathens (Twenty One Pilots)

This was the first Twenty One Pilots song I listened to back when I didn’t know who they were and what the hype was all about. “Suicide Squad” (I know, I was disappointed too) was responsible for introducing me to this song.

While Stressed Out relates to my present self, Heathens has that Teenagers vibe without all the angry screaming so my high school self would have hated it. I love it now though!

Shook Ones, Pt. II (Mobb Deep)

90s hip hop/ street angst. I didn’t know it was a thing either but I love it.   

You Oughta Know (Alanis Morissette)

My favorite, my all, my queen Alanis Morissette is the EMBODIMENT of angsty girl who just got dumped. This song speaks to me but not for it’s intended reasons. I just relate to the anger and the feeling of not being good enough. (Damn, that got sad)

We’re Not Gonna Take It (Twisted Sister)

Classic. I listened to this in my “ew you listen to the radio? Well I only listen to good music” stage. I was obsessed with the 80’s. Ugh

Enter Sandman (Metallica)

WHAT KIND OF PLAYLIST WOULD THIS BE IF I DIDN’T ADD METALLICA???

While this song is a little different than the others in the fact that it doesn’t talk about fitting in a group, it still fits in the playlist, but for a different reason. This was the song I listened to when I needed to escape the terrifying void that was high school. Whenever I listen to this song I turn into the badass entity that is James Hetfield and just thrash around until my problems are gone–or at least postponed– So in context this is the “anti-fitting in” song and I LIVE for it. 

Final thoughts:

I like to think that I have a unique way of listening to music. When listening to a song I like to imagine myself in the singer’s shoes literally performing this song and feeling all the emotions. This allows me to connect to the music in a deeper way and understand where the singers are coming from. So when listening to this collection of pure edge I’m overcome by all the emotions I’d thought I had left behind in high school. And let me be the first to admit that it was SCARY AF to feel those emotions again. Bonus points for all the cringe-y memories that came with them. I think my job here is done. 

ENJOY!

[jenniferasberryus]

Why Sonic Is the Perfect Mascot for Gen Z

Ever since the film based on the Genesis’ Sonic games got regenerated for Gen Zs, it’s got me thinking: “Gen Z’s” sounds a lot like “Genesis.” But, beyond that, it’s got me thinking about the ever-improving system we have in place for marketing nostalgia to Millenials, while also trying to convince new clusters of Gen Z kids to embrace these characters and franchises as their own.

Marvel comics became the MCU, the Star Wars continue unabated, and everyone’s so aware that we’re living in recycled times that... that’s all I’m really going to say about it. What’s interesting to me is just how perfect Sonic the Hedgehog is as a vehicle for this kind of weaponized nostalgia, and how he’s served as a measure of our relationship to coolness for three generations now.

[widget path="global/article/imagegallery" parameters="albumSlug=sonic-the-hedgehog-a-visual-history-of-segas-mascot&captions=true"]

Obviously, by casting Jim Carrey in a wacky role and re-doing the CG to make Sonic look more like his classic self, the filmmakers aren’t shying away from appealing to fond Millenial memories (you know, for money!). But Sonic remains primarily a kids’ movie, and thinking about the ways that today’s young people may relate to the blue blur made me realize that Sonic said a lot more about the Millennial generation than we realized - whether he intended to or not - and he sheds light on some of the things that connect us across time, no matter our generation...except for the Boomers, who I guess we all hate now? Is that the meme? Regardless, to understand why Sonic is the fuzzy multi-generational mirror that he is, we’re going to need...

A Bit of a History Lesson

To be clear, I’m considering a Baby Boomer someone born between 1950 and 1965, a Gen X-er someone born between ‘65 and ‘80, a Millenial someone born between ‘80 and ‘95 (prime Sonic age), and a Gen Z-er anyone born after 1995.

When Sonic was initially released in 1991, I was six years old, and “being cool” was super important both to myself and all of my peers (except for the kid who brought a gavel to school every day). What I think younger folks today might not understand is that this quest for coolness was not about authenticity, individuality, or any kind of meta-awareness of our identities. We weren’t “cool,” we were Cool™, and Coolness™ was defined by brands, something most of us didn’t grow up with the media-savvy to question. It was about being in a minority product vertical: skateboarding, black clothes, skitchin’, rap and/or punk rock on MTV, and unironically spelling the word “extreme” with a capital X.

[widget path="global/article/imagegallery" parameters="albumSlug=9-corporate-ad-games-that-didnt-suck&captions=true"]

Speaking of irony, I’d argue that the ’90s were the decade where Detached Irony was born, grew up, got perfected as chronicled in the 1995 Alanis Morisette song “Ironic,” and, in a sense, died. Irony is a toy we make memes with nowadays, but it used to be what we used to identify ourselves as - we were misfits who were “over it,” and therefore cooler than you. You were Coke, we were Pepsi. Flash forward twenty years and I’d call myself more of a Blueberry Acai caffeine-free Diet Coke guy; my point being that identity issues have gotten more complex over the years. And Sonic has all of that wrapped up in his fur. Needles? His…hedgehog...texture.

The ’90s were a gaming landscape dominated by Mario: a fat, middle-aged human who focuses primarily on jumping. This made Sonic feel like pure, uncut, corporate-designed cool in a way that immediately juiced the X-centers of my brain. If you were a Sega kid, you felt indie, edgy, a little more Pitchfork than your Nintendo playmates. Sonic focused on going fast, his head had Liberty Spikes, and he was such a crude, rude, awesome dude that if you stopped playing for a few seconds he’d look right into camera and give you the stink eye for wasting his time.

Amazingly, none of that seemed corny to us at the time. Sonic’s Cool was genuine and accepted by his fans with a naivete born of the mono-media culture of the ’70s and ’80s, and which has been slowly decaying ever since Fonzie jumped the shark. These days it’s almost been completely dispelled as the internet and other technologies drive us to be more aware of the systems around us from a younger and younger age.

Considering that, it’s no coincidence that the 90’s saw the ascendance of grunge music, pop-punk, an explosion in goth culture, the advent of “The Gritty Reboot,” and popular films with nihilism as a central theme. As a culture, we became obsessed with the “fakeness” of all the sheeple around us — irony became a way to interact with the broader world, and a signature part of the Gen X and Millenial attitude. Suddenly we were only interested in bands that hadn’t “sold out” yet, and anyone who didn’t think everything sucked was probably a phony.

[ignvideo url="https://www.ign.com/videos/2015/10/14/history-of-awesome-1998"]

In that environment, Sonic’s cool started to taste a little Chemical Zone-ey, a little factory-produced. Although the fact that his transition to 3-D graphics was far less graceful than Mario’s was definitely a factor, as a pop-cultural icon Sonic had to shift gears, too. The first Sonic TV show, essentially a kid’s comedy, was canceled and replaced with a much more action-packed and serious take on the Battle for Mobius (if you didn’t know, Sonic’s from a planet called Mobius in the year 3235, but it’s best not to question it).

During the same period, Sonic stopped moving merch, and Sega announced their retirement from the console wars. Which finally brings us to Gen Z, the generation that’s proud to be themselves and frankly doesn’t give a f**k what you think about it.

Sonic & Gen Z (or... Zennials or… Whatever You/They Want to Call Your/Themselves)

These days, truly being yourself, unique, authentic… just you, is huge business. Youtube and Twitch are filled with child billionaires who lean into their personality quirks and are loved specifically for that reason. Also some racism. But the bigger point is, in the new normal, ironic detachment isn’t nearly as valuable. It’s actually cooler, these days, to be into something than to be over something. Young people feel more empowered to simply like what they like, which makes it an ideal time for Sonic to re-enter the fray.

[ignvideo url="https://www.ign.com/videos/2019/11/12/sonic-the-hedgehog-old-and-new-design-comparison"]

None of this is to say the movie will definitely do well (or even be good), but as a Sonic fan for life, it’s been interesting to watch him go from cool, to corporatized and “fake”, to “kinda corny and silly and… still fake, but that’s what’s funny about it.” The whole debacle with the initial CG Sonic reveal speaks to that...the filmmakers tried to make Sonic “realistic” and the internet said, “No you idiots, he’s a cartoon rascal that thinks he’s too cool for school, just let him be that!”

Gen Z is the first generation of humans to have grown up fully immersed in a digitally-enhanced society. Everyone is able to indulge their interests and hobbies much more thoroughly now, which has resulted in a galaxy of fragmented fan-bases and communal identities that make the “Are you a Sega person or a Nintendo person?” question seems quaint by comparison.

[ignvideo url="https://www.ign.com/videos/2019/03/01/why-are-there-no-good-video-game-movies"]

Nowadays, someone isn’t just a Nintendo or Sega player - they’re an anime cosplayer with an interest in tabletop gaming, or a maker of pixel-beats who crochets Star Wars scarves on Etsy in their spare time. The pop culture landscape is richer. Case in point: there were 130 more movies released in the US in 2018 than in 2017, and the number of scripted TV series’ have increased by 85% since 2011. In such a dynamic environment, generalizations are tough to make, but there is a lot of statistical data on Gen Z folks -- mostly marketing data about buying trends, because Capitalsim™ -- that I think bodes well for the possibility of a Sonic Renaissance.

Environmental Consciousness

Gen Z kids are more concerned about pollution, sustainability, and conservancy than any previous generation. Sonic the Hedgehog’s arch-nemesis is a boomer in a non-self-driving vehicle who’s here to automate all the flowers and animals and build a giant factory.

Fiscal Responsibility

Gen Z-ers are notoriously thrifty, more likely to work a series of freelance jobs or change careers frequently, and always looking for bargains or a place to live that they can actually afford. Sonic the Hedgehog hoards gold rings and emeralds and is in danger of being gentrified out of his neighborhood.

Cord-Cutters

Gen Z is the generation that “cut the cable,” and consumes most of their content on their mobiles, seeing screens as essentially interchangeable and TV as outdated. Sonic destroys hundreds of old-fashioned TVs every game and is mobility incarnate.

Data Protection

Gen Z places less emphasis on the importance of personal privacy. Sonic wears gloves and shoes but no pants.

Ethically-Sourced…Chili Dogs?

Gen Z is consuming far less meat than previous generations. Sonic loves chili dogs, which is a tube of several kinds of meat with ground-up meat on top. Okay, that one doesn’t work. Um...

Blue Hair

I’ve been seeing lots of kids with blue hair lately? What’s up with that?

Let’s see, how can I sound older than I already do? Oh! Bidets? No thank you! What’s all this fuss lately about bidets and bidet seat add-ons? I’ll stick to good old-fashioned American-made two-ply, thank you very much! Now, in my day, we had the Virtual Boy, and he was my best friend and oh my, the times we’d have…

[poilib element="accentDivider"]

Editor’s Note: Michael just kept typing out SNES titles until he got sleepy. We put a blanket over him to make sure he didn’t get cold.

What’s your take on Sonic these days? Corporate Shill or Moderately Funny In Sort of a Kitschy Way Corporate Shill? Let us know in the comments, or to really see how far the internet has fallen, check out what happens when you put the creepy old CG sonic’s teeth on other game characters.

from IGN Video Games https://www.ign.com/articles/2020/01/09/why-sonic-is-the-perfect-mascot-for-gen-z via IFTTT from The Fax Fox https://thefaxfox.blogspot.com/2020/01/why-sonic-is-perfect-mascot-for-gen-z.html

[ouraidengray4]

How to Tell If Someone's Truly Passive-Aggressive or If You're Just Taking Things Personally

If you've ever had a roommate (or just lived life as a human in this world), you've probably dealt with passive-aggression more times than you'd like. You get real familiar with sentiments like "I guess you could wash dishes that way, I just like them a little cleaner" or "I love that bracelet. Usually gold looks so tacky, but it works for you." Or the classic "it's fine," paired with a tense, angry-eyed smile.

This backhanded aggression is hard to deal with (though there are ways to handle the passive-aggressive people in your life) and can sometimes make you feel a little crazy—it's not always easy to tell if someone's trying to be hurtful with a smile on their face or if their words are just triggering your insecurities.

One time, my mom made a simple comment about keeping in touch with our old neighbors and I spent the next few hours crying about how she doesn't think I love her enough. In that case, she wasn't making some backhanded dig, but it set off my insecurities about feeling distant from my family.

I'm not saying that everyone's gone on a crying jag over a totally innocuous statement, but it's not uncommon to take neutral remarks personally and assume the other person is just being a passive-aggressive nightmare. So I spoke to experts to find out how to determine when someone is being legitimately hurtful in a backhanded way and when our insecurities are simply getting the best of us.

Also, please note, any reaction you have to a person—whether they're being passive-aggressive or not—is OK. I'm not at all trying to tell you to not get upset or hide your feelings because your feelings are valid no matter what the cause.

Unfortunately, if you're at work and dealing with a poor communicator or someone who sets off all your worst insecurities, you may not want to be all up in your feelings during office hours. So by figuring out when someone is intending to be hurtful (as opposed to inadvertently causing you pain), you might be able to have more control over your reactions—and you can save your real anger for the people who are purposeful jerks.

Take a Step Back and Get Perspective

When you hear a potentially passive-aggressive comment, empowerment coach Alani Bankhead suggests you take a step back and try to identify the specific behavior that offended you as objectively as possible. Basically, before things get washed away in emotion, it's good to break down what just happened.

Maybe you just had a passive-aggressive boss, so now you interpret everything your new boss says as passive-aggressive, when, in reality, they might be giving you a simple note. This is backed by the appraisal theory of emotion, which states that we feel emotions based on our appraisal of the situation. This explains why people can react so differently to the same situations.

For example, a dog running away could make an acting teacher storm into the room in tears and take the entirety of class time to weep and talk about a dog psychic that gave her bad news, whereas the same dog running away might make a student in that acting teacher's class think, Seems like we should still probably have class today? (For the record, my acting teacher's dog came home that night, even though the dog psychic said she was "with the angels." Lesson: Don't spend a lot of money on dog psychics or acting classes.)

Anyway, the appraisal theory helps explain why some things might set you off while they don't bother anyone else. It also explains that our whole life experience and history influence our day-to-day reactions. Once you become more aware of your appraisals, you can have more control over your reactions.

Bankhead says it's good to take a look at the situation after you've had an emotional response. Quickly replay what they said and try to see if there was any real malice behind it. It's also helpful to ask for other opinions. If everybody at the office thinks that person is a passive-aggressive a-hole, then you probably don't need to do a lot of soul-searching to find out if that's true. But if no one had a problem, it's good to give your initial reaction a second thought.

Now, I'm not saying to blindly trust everyone else's judgment here. If you know someone is passive-aggressively manipulating you, it doesn't matter what anyone else says. But if you're not sure if something is based on aggression or insecurity, getting a second opinion can help.

EDITOR'S PICK

See the Signs of Insecurity

Sometimes, it's hard to see your own insecurity. Either we've lived with our own self-negativity for so long it doesn't register anymore or we've never stopped to analyze the things that make us feel insecure.

A report from Harvard and the University of Pennsylvania (as reported in Slate) found that there are lots of clues to insecurity in the way people speak. For example, people who are constantly self-promoting or trying to emphasize their status in a group are often the most insecure.

In the study, students at Penn often referred to their school as "Ivy League," while Harvard kids usually left that moniker out. Since Harvard is the King of Ivy League schools, the students didn't need to assert their dominance. But for kids at Penn, a school that most people forget has Ivy League status, their insecurity made them want to shout "I'm Ivy League too" from the rooftops.

So if you notice yourself ever wanting to overtly brag about accomplishments or trying to inflate your status in a situation, it probably means you're a little insecure about the topic. When I say "I'm a freelance writer," I always drop a few names of places I've worked so people don't think I'm some random Yelp reviewer with a blog.

It's not because anybody actually cares about my writing career, but I feel the need to assert my status out of insecurity. Once you really get to know what makes you feel insecure, you'll immediately know when someone is setting off your insecure alarm and when someone's being legitimately passive-aggressive.

Know Your Triggers

As you get to know your insecurities, dig deeper into your specific triggers. It will help prepare you for when someone accidentally steps on your emotional minefield.

"When you find yourself dissecting every word, action, tone, and gesture the other person used in the allegedly offensive comment, identify what specifically irritated you," Bankhead says. "What emotions are you feeling? What do you physically feel in your body? Often times, we have physical reactions but don't even notice!" After you identify the feeling, see if there's a root cause to that reaction, Bankhead suggests. Maybe you had a traumatic experience in your life that not everyone knows about. It makes perfect sense for you to have a bigger reaction to something that triggers anything close to that trauma.

Even if you didn't have a major tragedy in your past, you can still get upset about things that other people brush off. For another personal example, nothing makes me madder than someone telling me to "calm down." I work hard to regulate my emotions, stay rational in work or public situations, and avoid conflict. So when I'm trying to make a point without a ton of emotion behind it and someone tells me to "calm down," well then I'm ready to punch a b*tch. Now, I wasn't told to calm down as a kid, nor did a mugger with a "Calm Down" jacket try to rob me a gunpoint. I just hate hearing that phrase. But I also know that those words are a trigger, so when I hear "calm down," I have to regulate that rage feeling and take the words at face value.

"Being self-aware is the key to knowing when someone is intentionally mistreating you," says Sal Raichbach PsyD, LCSW, of Ambrosia Treatment Center. "Self-awareness gives you the ability to take constructive criticism without projecting your insecurities onto the situation."

Now, if someone is outright aggressive, uses hurtful language, or is utterly insensitive, you don't need to check yourself. But when someone pushes your buttons without malice, knowing your sore spots can make your life a little easier.

EDITOR'S PICK

Empathize (Even When You Don't Want To)

Before you go around town telling everyone what a jerk this passive-aggressive person is, try to empathize. I know, that's not fun, but sometimes it gives you a better perspective. "Most people are generally trying to do the best they can in life, but it's 100 percent normal to have conflict," Bankhead says.

If you're dealing with a person you can't avoid (like a boss), try to give them the benefit of the doubt. Assume they meant the best, even if it came out wrong. We all say stupid things sometimes, so it's nice to cut people a little bit of slack, especially when it's the first instance of potential passive-aggressive behavior.

Taking a moment to put yourself in their shoes can sometimes resolve the situation entirely. Maybe the other person is stressed, overworked, and just as insecure as you. They said something that wasn't great, but you can see how that might happen when you empathize with the entirety of the situation.

Or you might try to empathize and find that there's simply no excuse for their behavior. In that case, they are being passive-aggressive and you should deal with them on those terms.

Take It at Face Value

"If you can't decide whether someone is being disrespectful or just giving you their opinion, recognize the fact that their lack of communication is likely to blame," Raichbach says. "Instead of projecting your self-doubt onto the situation, remind yourself that it isn't your job to teach them how to communicate." So, if you get an "it's fine," it's totally OK for you to take those words at their literal meaning and go about your day as though everything is totally fine.

Stop Analyzing

There's a fine line between reflecting and overanalyzing. Raichbach recommends reflecting about what was said, how you felt about it, and if it set off any triggers. But spending much more time thinking about the incident becomes counter-productive.

"It can be tempting to spend hours trying to pick apart what a passive-aggressive means when they say something," Raichbach says. "Remind yourself that it's impossible to see what's going on inside someone else's head." When your thoughts start to swirl around a potentially passive-aggressive person, you suffer. That person goes about their day, while you pour over every word, wondering what you did wrong or if they have mean motives behind their sentiments.

"Instead of trying to interpret, move forward by asking them direct questions the next time they voice their opinion," Raichbach says. Simply ask in a polite tone, "What did you mean by that?" or "Are you upset with something I did?" If the person is really passive-aggressive, they'll have to either get aggressive or back away from their back-handed response. Or if the person didn't have any malice behind what they said, they'll probably apologize and correct the situation. Either way, you'll immediately know what you're dealing with and won't have to spend so much mental energy on the hidden meanings of the other person's words.

Keep Communicating

"If you complete this process of self-evaluation and empathy and arrive at the decision that the person's comment was truly meant to be hurtful, then it's a great opportunity to identify what boundaries were violated and how to address it so that it doesn't happen again." No one deserves to be mistreated at work, home, or anywhere. So, if someone said something with malice, they shouldn't do it again.

Sadly, this can be difficult to approach in work situations, but it's not impossible. If someone is constantly trying to stab you in the back with a smile, go to HR and talk about some of the hurtful conversations you've had. Or, if you can, address the person directly. That's all easier said than done, but addressing the situation head-on will make your life better in the long run.

We all have insecurities, triggers, and jerks in our life. When you get really self-aware and know all your sore spots, it gives you power. Instead of accidentally getting set off all day, you know what upsets you and when someone is stepping over the line. Rather than get caught in a cycle of worry about what someone really means by "it's fine," you can let that go and put your energy elsewhere. "At the end of the day," Bankhead says, "we all decide how we choose to view the world."

Amber Petty is an L.A. based writer and a regular contributor to Greatist. Follow along as she shares her weight-loss journey in her new bi-monthly column, Slim Chance. Follow her on Instagram @Ambernpetty.

from Greatist RSS https://ift.tt/2BCi3GL How to Tell If Someone's Truly Passive-Aggressive or If You're Just Taking Things Personally Greatist RSS from HEALTH BUZZ https://ift.tt/2Q1HZnW

[kboytube]

Foo Fighters mainman Dave Grohl and drummer Taylor Hawkins revisit the band's first five albums

In 1994, Dave Grohl's world imploded. Having been one third of Nirvana – then one of the world's most significant cultural propositions – with Kurt Cobain's sudden death, the drummer found himself personally and professionally adrift. Months later, having survived the hurricane that ensued Cobain's death, Grohl dusted himself off and formed Foo Fighters. What began as a modest, almost cathartic exercise quickly spiralled into a monstrously successful group, and a string of hits – Learn To Fly, Everlong, Times Like These – soon followed. Grohl simply wanted to liberate songs he'd kept locked away while his life was consumed by drumming in what was then the world's most pivotal band. But Grohl has the Midas touch. Everything he handles turns to gold records, which line the walls of his studios and homes. With the band's first five records, they crafted a sound which made good on Nirvana's loud-quiet stylings while adding a raucous buoyancy to the recordings, and laid down a template that would carry through their now nine-album strong career. Here, Grohl and drummer Taylor Hawkins revisit the turbulent early history of Foo Fighters, one record at a time.

Foo Fighters – 1995

"After Nirvana, I wasn't really sure what to do," says Grohl, who was 25 when Kurt Cobain's suicide brought that group abruptly to an end. "I was asked to join a couple of other bands as the drummer, but I just couldn't imagine doing that because it would just remind me of being in Nirvana; every time I sat down at a drum set, I would think of that. And other people would think of that as well. I thought, what do I do? Do I even play music any more? I don't know. Maybe that was it. Maybe it's time to do something else. Maybe real life starts now. Because at that point I had been touring in bands since I was 18 and I'd seen the world and got to be in this huge band."As Grohl contemplated his next move, he was well aware that anything he did was going to be overshadowed by his association with Nirvana whose influence only grows with the passing years. "When I was young, someone played me the Klark Kent record that Stewart Copeland had done. I thought how cool that he could make a record and people can listen to it objectively because it wasn't Stewart Copeland from The Police, it was Klark Kent. That's kind of what I wanted to do. There were some songs I'd recorded in my friend's studio while Nirvana was still a band and an independent label in Detroit wanted to release something." It wasn't the first time Grohl's compositions had been the subject of outside interest. In 1991 he'd released a 10-track cassette called Late on the Washington-based Simple Machines label. Initially contractual restrictions prevented him from releasing any more new material, but with the demise of Nirvana in April 1994, multi-instrumentalist Grohl was free to pursue a solo career. He booked six days at Bob Lang's studio north of Seattle, used earlier that year by Nirvana, and set about recording the batch of songs he'd written over the past six years. "I was really prepared. I had demoed the songs and I knew what the arrangements were. I knew what I was going to do on the drums and I'd figured out all the guitar. That would be the most time I had ever spent in the studio recording stuff of my own. I just thought it was the greatest thing in the world. I never intended for it to be a major releases. I started my own company, Roswell Records, and I called it Foo Fighters because I wanted people to think it was a band. I didn't want any names on it or pictures."

Taking the name Foo Fighters from the term given to UFOs by World War II pilots, Grohl ran off a few cassette copies. When one reached the hands of a Seattle DJ friend, who played I'll Stick Around, "people kind of freaked on it". It was a reaction not unlike the one Grohl had when hearing his new songs in their full splendour. "I remember that was the first time I ever listened to something I'd done and thought: 'That sounds like a band. That's fucking rad.'" The reaction to the tape was swift. "I'd get calls from Virgin, RCA, MCA, Columbia or Capitol or whatever." In the end Grohl signed with Capitol after being courted by President Gary Gersh who, as an A&R man with Geffen, had signed Nirvana. Recording all the instruments in the studio was one thing, but even the talented Grohl couldn't play them all live. For that he would need a band. After securing bass player Nate Mendell and drummer William Goldsmith from the recently defunct Sunny Day Real Estate he gave a tape to guitarist Pat Smear, a man who had also played with Nirvana. "He said, 'God, this stuff is really poppy!'" squeals Grohl in his best Smear impersonation. "I'm like: 'Really?' He goes: 'I love it.' 'Wow, thanks. We're looking for a guitar player.' He's like: 'I'll do it.' I'm like: 'You will?' No shit, because he's like the coolest fucking guy in the world. That guy was in The Germs. He was great in Nirvana, and I thought he's way out of this league; this is just a stupid demo." With a band assembled they began rehearsing. But the role of frontman was a new and uncomfortable one for Grohl: "Standing up and singing a song with a guitar with shredding volume did not feel natural. It still doesn't." He also found the experience of performing his own material in distinct contrast to that of playing with Nirvana: "It's a different feeling when you're singing words you've written and playing songs you've written. It's so much more personal." When the Foo Fighters' self-titled debut album arrived on shelves in July 1995, its cover depicted the band's name above a photograph of a gun. Considering Grohl's former bandmate had shot himself to death only 15 months earlier, the choice of cover image might appear to some to be tactless. "Yeah, people kind of freaked out on that," admits Grohl, whose love of sci-fi had led him to choose the picture of the Buck Rogers toy gun. "You know, honestly, that never came to mind once. Obviously it didn't, because if I thought people would associate that with that, I would never have done it." The cover aside, reaction to the album was positive. It reached number 23 in the Billboard chart. The Foo Fighters had arrived.

The Colour And The Shape - 1997

It was almost as if Foo Fighters had evolved accidentally but now, as a fully fledged group with a hit record and tour behind them, it was clear the approach to the second album would be different. "Going into making The Colour And The Shape I knew it had to be good," says Grohl. "It couldn't be a basement demo. It couldn't be that second raw album that most people were doing at the time." Grohl, though, was still uncertain about exactly what it was he'd created. "The foundation of the band was that demo tape recorded by one person and at times it could feel flimsy. It would make you question: Are we a band? Or 'How does this work?' So we immediately started writing new songs like My Hero, Enough Space and My Poor Brain. We hired Gil Norton to produce. He'd produced some of our favourite records: Pixies and Echo & The Bunnymen, stuff like that. Gil is awesome in that he fucking wrings you out. He wants every last drop of performance and song. It was intense. I learnt more from that guy than anyone."

But by the time they'd nearly completed the album, it had become obvious all was not well. "We'd finished like 12 songs," recalls Grohl. "We'd recorded Monkey Wrench, Wind Up, Doll and My Poor Brain and everyone knew that it wasn't really happening. William, our drummer, wasn't really gelling. It didn't sound powerful. It just didn't sound how I'd imagined it to sound." The group took a Christmas break, during which Grohl went into a friend's studio and started recording new material, playing drums himself. He played the songs to Norton: "He's like: 'Those are good. I like those'. So I started recording newer songs, playing the drums, playing the guitar and William was bumming out. That turned into a breakdown and then I realised he wasn't coming back, so I recorded all the drums on the record myself. It was basically Pat, Nate and I for that album. We did it pretty quickly. We re-recorded the record in about four weeks. When we were done, I knew we had a fucking great album." In addition to the personal differences within the group, Grohl was also in the midst of domestic upheaval. "Oh, I was getting a divorce too," he adds nonchalantly. "You know what's funny? People come up to me – it's usually men – and say: 'Man, that album, it helped me through my divorce'. I'm like: 'Really? It caused mine.'" If contentment is artistic death, then at least Grohl's woes were having a positive influence on the music. "I was living out of my duffel bag on this cat piss-stained mattress in my friend's back room with 12 people in the house. It was fucking awful. Made for a good record though."

There Is Nothing Left To Lose – 1999

For two whole weeks Foo Fighters were a quartet again. Alanis Morissette's drummer Taylor Hawkins had joined the group but, three days before they were to head out on tour, "Pat said: 'Guys I have to quit',"recalls Grohl, the sense of shock still palpable. "I'm like, what the fuck? What next?" "That was a splintered fucking band at that point," Hawkins reflects of his first days with the group. "It really was," concurs Grohl. "The band was just holding on by our fingertips this whole time." Grohl convinced Smear to stay on until he found a replacement in his old friend Franz Stahl, guitarist with hardcore band Scream who Grohl had played with prior to Nirvana. After the tour, Grohl was finding the Los Angeles lifestyle too distracting. "We had the bachelor pad in Laurel Canyon. We would just go drag the Sunset Strip and bring it back to the house." Returning to the more tranquil pastures of his Virginia roots, he built a studio in the basement of his house. They extricated themselves from their record contract when Gersh left Capitol, and became a three-piece again. "It didn't work out with Franz," Grohl states succinctly. The Foos brought in producer Adam Kasper and set to work.

"It was so great," smiles Grohl. "We were in a basement in Virginia with sleeping bags nailed to the wall. There's no record company, there's no suits knocking on the door, there's no one telling you what's good or bad. It was four months of the most mellow recording." The relaxed conditions were reflected in the music which was softer than anything they'd produced to that point. "It's easy to fucking stomp on a distortion pedal and make a chorus blow up," explains Grohl. "That's easy. It's easy to turn up to 10 and scream your balls off. What's not easy is to write a song that's a mid-level linear dynamic that moves from beginning to end with melody. "So that was the idea with a lot of that record, whether it was Learn To Fly, Ain't It The Life, Gimme Stitches or Next Year. We were more focused on melody and songwriting, and it took a lot of people off guard. A lot of people thought Foo Fighters were selling out or going soft. It was more about getting into the music and writing. That album opened up doors for us to make anything possible."

One By One - 2002

"The making of that album was a fiasco," says Grohl bluntly. "We spent four months and nearly a million bucks recording that record and we threw it away. We just fucking scrapped the whole thing. It was not good enough." There were a number of factors which contributed to them dumping an album for the second time. One was Hawkins's increasing drug use, which culminated in him overdosing during a trip to London. "After that I started getting my shit together," says Hawkins. "I wanted to get over that hurdle and start working. I think we all wanted to start working, but in hindsight we jumped into it a little quick." "That's exactly what happened," agrees Grohl. When the band – which now included ex-No Use For A Name guitarist Chris Shiflett – did get to work, it was with the express desire to adopt a more meticulous approach than they'd used on the previous album. "For One By One I thought: Okay we've got to make this sound fucking perfect," says Grohl. "So we went in, and ultimately what happened was we sucked a lot of the life out of the songs. It wasn't inspired. I'd listen back to rough mixes and think this sounds like another band playing our songs. I remember looking at the calendar of the promo tour and imagining having to do interviews for an album that I wasn't 100 per cent convinced of. I thought: 'I can't do that. I cannot go out and lie. I just can't fucking do it.

In addition to his day job with Foo Fighters, Grohl had been moonlighting with Queens Of The Stone Age, playing drums on their Songs For Their Deaf album. Given the choice of touring with Queens or promoting an inferior Foo's album, he made a tough decision. "I just thought: 'No that can't come out. It's not good enough. We need to take a break. I'm going to go do this thing which is inspiring me'. It felt great, but within three months, I started missing the guys and the music. So I came back and we thought we'd just go back into the basement with Nick [Raskulinecz] and start demoing." "Dave came to my house one day and we did a couple of demos," says Hawkins. "One of the songs he had written was Times Like These, which was kind of about the band breaking up and remembering why we're doing it and all that stuff. Then we did Low. It felt good. So we're like, let's just go back to your pad in DC and record those tunes." Starting at 11 o'clock one night, Dave and Taylor rattled off three songs. For Grohl, the magic had returned. "That feeling was back. You could hear it. And that's what was missing from the first time. It was like: 'Holy shit, are we making a record right now?'" They were. And two weeks later, after Nate and Chris had added their parts, they had.

In Your Honor – 2005

The tour for One By One had elevated Foo Fighters to a new level. "We had finally established ourselves to the point where I thought we can play an hour-and-a-half set and make 50,000 people sing all the words. That's fucking cool." As proud as Grohl was, it also served to make him question the band's next move. "We toured so much for the last record and it was such a fucking blast, but it was gruelling. I was 36 and I'd been doing it for 18 years and I thought: 'Is this what I'm supposed to do with the rest of my life? I don't know. Maybe it's time to have the band take another left turn.'" Inspired by Tom Petty's solo work on She's The One, Grohl considered doing a soundtrack. "So I started demoing all this acoustic music with that in mind. After an hour or two of listening to it, I thought, why can't this be a Foo Fighters record? Maybe we should do this kick-ass mellow acoustic record. So I thought maybe that's what we should do. And then I thought no, I have to have loud rock music in my life somewhere." Faced with reconciling an acoustic album with Grohl's need to have "loud rock" in his life, the Foos frontman came up with a solution. "Why not make two CDs?" he thought. Why not indeed? Nine years and four albums had given Grohl the confidence and licence to do whatever he wanted. "I eventually want it to get to the point where when people ask me what kind of band I'm in, I say: 'I just play music'. It's not one specific genre of music, it's not one specific style. I'm just a musician. I can play all these different instruments, I can write a bossa nova, I can write a thrash tune. It's such an incredible freedom. That was the point of this album." Nine months in creation, In Your Honor was an assured work of musical chiaroscuro and one of which Grohl was duly proud. "It's exactly what I imagined it to be and it sounds better than I hoped. It's my shining achievement of my life," he said at the time of its release. It would have been easy for Grohl to rest on his Nirvana laurels. He could have dined out musically on that connection forever, but he chose to look ahead at Foo Fighters, who offered him a future. It's why he got the band's initials branded on the back of his neck: In Your Honor solidified that feeling. "It's the first time I'd ever imagined 10 more years of being in this band." As he reflects on the turbulent and triumphant career of Foo Fighters' earliest days, the humble Grohl allows himself a rare moment of pride. "Going from the demo tape that took six days to record to what it became, it was like having your child grow up to be the head of the U.N. Unbelievable."

http://teamrock.com

-- Публикувано от Blogger за Metal Head на 3/23/2018 09:00:00 пр.об.

[50yearsofmusic-blog]

I need new music

Hello tumblr world. This is intended to be a blog about pop music from the perspective of a 50-year obsessive listener. (I'm using "pop" as a general term for non-classical music rather than as a restrictive genre according to some precise taxonomy.) I hope as a result to get listening recommendations from others in the community, because I think one of the worst things about dying is going to be how much good music I will never get to hear.

Let me tell you enough about me and my musical tastes to make this an adequate first post.

I discovered pop music on entering college in 1967 via Sgt. Pepper’s, which fascinated me and hooked me on popular music for the rest of my life. For 20 years or so, I found music to add to my increasingly voluminous collection primarily via album-oriented radio. I occasionally took excursions outside the mainstream, of which the biggest was my discovery of electronic "new age" music (Tangerine Dream, Vangelis, Jean-Michel Jarre, and that crowd), but basically for this time I was just "doin' whatever my radio advised". Unfortunately, toward the end of the 80s, my favorite radio station went "shock jock", and I stopped listening to it, since I was interested in music, not in hearing the DJs humiliate convenience store workers for their funny accents.

I drifted through the 90s buying stuff my friends said was good, new albums by established artists, and random stuff that looked interesting in the record store (remember record stores?). In the early years of this century, I got a satellite radio, and started catching up on music that I'd missed over the previous 10 years. And then, in 2006, I discovered Pandora. Pandora in no way limits itself to the mainstream and so for the first time in my life I was looking at a flood of obscure but often wonderful music.  Pandora led me to artists like Autumn's Grey Solace, Childs, Golden Smog, Coastal, The Brother Kite and Sigur Rós, none of whom were exatly household words for my friends. It was exhilarating. Eventually, Pandora stopped producing for me; my stations became stale, and I didn't have the energy to try a restart.

Now, I've drifted over to Spotify which, though its "radio" support is no match for Pandora's, has a database of artists that can't be beat, including all sorts of interesting connections between them. For the last year, I've been using Spotify as a tool to find artists similar to ones I already like. It's been like 2006 all over again. I find this process has produced more semi-popular artists and fewer really obscure ones than Pandora, but I'm not about to reject good music just because a lot of other people like it. Spotify has introduced me to The Head and the Heart, Kathleen Edwards, Archive, A Silent Film, the Jayhawks, Alejandro Escovedo and Lights Out Asia, among others, and I'm very happy indeed about that.

I'll close by saying a few words about my musical preferences, because I'm not an omnivore. There are genres which simply do not appeal to me, notably jazz, R&B, funk, hip-hop, authentic blues, metal, punk rock, most hard rock and most dance music. I respect classical music, but I don't listen to it. (I often enjoy classical-rock crossovers, though.) That still leaves a lot. So what do I really like? Well, here are some categories that come to mind.

Folk-/country-rock (for instance, Dylan, Eagles, Steeleye Span, Indigo Girls, Dar Williams, Josh Ritter, Blue Rodeo, etc.) everynoise.com says that the genre "New Americana" is my thing.

Instrumental music, especially electronic and post-rock (Mike Oldfield, Tangerine Dream, Joe Satriani, Banco de Gaia, Mono, A Shoreline Dream, Hammock, Lights Out Asia, etc.)

Female vocalists (Loreena McKennit, Chantal Kreviazuk, Rachael Sage, Alanis Morissette, Sarah McLachlan, Grace Potter, Kathleen Edwards, etc. See also folk-rock above.)

Literate and/or clever lyrics (Dylan again, Leonard Cohen, Jackson Browne, Elvis Costello, The Waterboys, Mark Knopfler, Mary Gauthier, The Decemberists, etc.)

That's all I feel like writing now, and quite possibly all you feel like reading. If my tastes and yours line up, I'd love for you to let me know what else you think I might need to hear.