#i think i missed that somehow when i played haha wow that is.

[sixpossumsinatrenchcoat]

B Plot

Isabeau still can’t confess, and Siffrin needs to clear their head. Which means it’s high time for a sidequest. 

Act 1, Scene 2. West Dormont. Isa’s hand hovers near your shoulder. You try to look inviting, but you must not be very good at it. He’s already pulling away. Okay. This is it. Go time. “You can touch me,” you blurt out. “Wh— Hwhuh???” No turning back now. “It just. Seems like you think you can’t? But—you can.”

(Full disclosure, this is literally just 5k words of Siffrin trying to flirt, because he's not the only one who needed a break. Spoilers thru Act 3)

You don’t make the pun for Isa. You don’t say hi to Loop, either. You just sit on the ground and stare at the grass.

“Wow, stardust,” Loop snorts, “thanks for the warm welcome. I missed you too! But tone it down a little, will you? All that enthusiasm could get a little overwhelming!”

Near your foot, there’s a leaf growing out from a fallen branch, glossy and bright like it thinks it’s still attached to the tree. Like it thinks it’s still alive. But of course you know better. It’s already dead. It just doesn’t know it yet.

“Sooo~, what’s up? Give me the scoop! The latest and greatest, teehee!”

The leaf is always growing out of the branch, and the branch is always on the ground, splintered and slowly drying. Does the loop last long enough for the leaf to dry out, too? Does it die every day, like you do? Or will it spend the rest of eternity in a state of blissful ignorance?

“You beat the King again, right? That’s cool! You’re getting pretty tough! Keep it up and pretty soon you’ll have nothing to be scared of! Aside from, you know. All the existential dread.”

You watch your hand reach out to close around the leaf. It comes loose with a gentle pop.

“Oh, come on, at least pretend to listen. You’re good at that, teehee!” When you still don’t react, their tone sours. “The silent treatment is really not a cute look on you, you know.”

Even with nothing to hold onto, the leaf still looks offensively alive. You crumple it between your hands and then shred it into tiny little pieces. There. Now it’s just like you.

—There’s a startling clap! as Loop claps their hands about an inch from your left ear.

“Stardust,” they say firmly. “I’m a patient star, I really am, but if you keep ignoring me, I’m going to get grouchy.”

Very slowly, you look up. “She didn’t know anything.”

“...The head housemaiden?”

You nod.

“About Time Craft, you mean?”

Another nod.

“Oh,” Loop says softly. “Well. I suppose that’s to be expected. Maybe no one does, anymore.”

You shrug.

“B-But you still have leads, don’t you? Didn’t you have a few more questions for the K—”

“I don’t want to talk to the King.” The last time you tried to talk to the King, your actors looked at you like you were something monstrous. Subhuman. Like something they’d scraped off the bottom of their shoes. You wound up letting him kill you just to end the loop faster. But you’d forgotten how much the King’s final blow hurts.

“Okay, but—”

“Will you stop?” you demand. You don’t want to talk about this. You just want—

—but there’s no point finishing that sentence.

The two of you sit in silence for a while. Probably you hurt Loop’s feelings. Somehow, you can’t bring yourself to care.

“Stardust,” Loop says at last, unexpectedly gently. When you glance up, they’re looking away, picking at the—not skin—the gummy celestial membrane that covers the pads of their fingers. They don’t have a mouth, but if they did, it would be frowning. “I think you might need a break.”

“Haha!!!! Ahaha!!!!! Do you think???”

“I don’t mean from the loops,” Loop says impatiently. “I just mean… Ohh, I don’t know. From fighting the loops? Of course I can’t directly relate, but—from an outside perspective, I think that trying to break the loop is probably sort of… not-good. Ah. Psychologically.”

You stare at them in stony silence.

“So maybe you need a B plot!”

“…A what?”

“You know. A B plot! Like in plays? It’s what the side characters get up to while the important people are off dying and falling in love and things!”

Wait. “You watch plays?”

“I am a star of culture, you know,” Loop sniffs. “I just think you could use a win! Take a break from fixing the laws of physics to focus on something a little more achievable, hmm~? Just for a few loops! Just to clear your head!”

Your mouth scrunches to one side. Unfortunately, they’ve caught your interest. “Like what.”

“Like, ah… oh! What about your touch therapy? That was fun, wasn’t it? Here, look, I could hold both your hands!”

“It doesn’t count,” you mutter.

“Oh, no? And whyever not?”

“It just doesn’t.” You can’t really explain why Loop doesn’t count. You just know that they don’t. The first time they elbowed you, you didn’t even flinch. To be honest, it barely registered. Like knocking your elbow against something not alive, or trying to tickle yourself.

Loop rolls their eyes. “I’ll try not to take that personally.”

* * *

They’re right, though. You need a break. But you’re not going to get it by holding hands with Loop.

* * *

You spend the rest of the day thinking about how to take a break from a temporal prison that is categorically, explicitly inescapable.

“Umm,” Isa whispers over dinner. “Sif? Are you, um, okay? You seem a little off.”

You probably should have expected this. Isabeau is always paying attention to what you’re doing and not-doing. But it never goes anywhere, because he’s too afraid to say it.

…Oh. Is that anything? You think it might be something. You already know that Isa wants to touch you. But he doesn’t, because he thinks you don’t want him to. Because you can’t tell him, and he can’t ask. So instead you’re both stuck here, not knowing what’s true.

What would it take to make him brave enough to say it? How obvious would you have to be before he could feel safe?

Your eyes narrow. Maybe you really do need a break.

You can read the rest on ao3: https://archiveofourown.org/works/55543246

[teratalia]

Funouhan yandere: Usobuki TadashixReader

I wrote most of this while bored at work ᕕ( ᐛ )ᕗ

AO3 link!!

Quick notes: fem reader, ngl I tried to stay as close to canon as humanly possible, description of death, no smut (yet)

“Haha…how pitiful humans are.”

“What?” You turn around, not sure if the stranger was talking to you. “Can I help you with something?”

“Maybe you can.” The man steps up to you, ruffling his messy dark hair with a casual grin. “I’m lost, I think. I’m looking for the closest convenience store, can you direct me?”

“Oh, sure! I’m actually headed there now, if you follow me,” you reply with a friendly smile. You don’t feel the need to be too cautious because it’s daylight and there are plenty of people around, and you keep your wits around you even when guiding this person.

“Thanks. I’m Tadashi, I appreciate it.”

You introduce yourself and shake his hand, which is oddly cold to the touch. Judging by the pale skin and bags under his eyes, you almost liken him to a vampire. Attractive like one too, in a weird way.

“Are you looking for anything specific?” You ask as you head into the store.

“Yeah, cat toys and cat food and cat beds and…”

With a giggle, you point him in the direction of the pet supplies. “New cats, huh?”

“Yeah, they’re a handful,” he says with an exaggerated yawn. “Thanks, miss. Maybe we’ll cross paths again.”

You do your own shopping and leave the store, headed back home. By the time you get home, you notice an extra box that you don’t remember picking up. It’s some of your favorite cookies with a little handwritten note: Thanks for today. Enjoy. - Tadashi

“Wow, how’d he sneak this in my cart without me noticing? Oh well, free cookies,” you shrug, taking a quick look at the box. It was unopened and not tampered with at all, so you happily pop it open and grab a cookie, taking a big bite.

With a hum, you savor the bite, settling down in front of the TV and putting on whatever as you eat. You zone out as commercials play.

“So, how are the cookies?”

With a yelp, you nearly drop the box, spinning to see Tadashi standing nearby, grinning at you.

“How the hell did you get in my apartment?” You yell, scooting to the other side of the couch. He sits at the farthest end, leaning back as if he owned the place.

“The door was left open.”

“No, it definitely wasn’t!”

He chuckles and shrugs. “Believe me or not, are you sure you want to keep eating those cookies? Look again.”

Ice cold fear runs through your veins. Had he done something to the cookies, after all? You open the box again, staring at normal-looking cookies. As he watches, you pick one up, inspecting it at all angles and even sniffing it.

“What’d you do to these cookies, Tadashi? They look normal…but whatever, I don’t want them anymore.” You toss the box at him, which he catches perfectly.

His eyebrows are raised, and he stares at you in shock. Slowly, he smiles again, though there’s something so off-putting about his expression.

“I didn’t do anything, actually. I just thought I’d play a little prank on my new friend.”

“Friend? Since when are we friends? I gave you directions exactly once and then you broke into my place–”

“Came in through the unlocked door–”

“And now you’re insisting we’re friends? Get out already!”

Tadashi full-on laughs as he stands up, taking the cookie box with him. “You’re a fun one, I like you. Be seeing you.”

And you did start to see him after that, the messy-haired man with the cold eyes and dark aura. More and more, you saw him: out of the corner of your eye when walking down the street, chatting casually with your coworkers during your lunch breaks, sidling up to you after work to hang out, inviting himself over to your apartment on weekends with a cat in tow. You didn’t really have a choice in the matter, and somehow you actually did end up becoming friends, though more out of pity on your end. You sensed that he was lonely and probably didn’t have other friends, and that’s why he liked bothering you so much. So you accepted it, let him visit you with cats (an added bonus), let him join you on lunch breaks, let him insert himself into your life little by little. 

At some point, he’d basically moved into your place with his cats, though you made him give up a handful of them for adoption so now you were down to a manageable three. (“And good riddance! You can keep him, young lady!” said his former landlord.) Sometimes he would leave during odd hours of the night and come back at random times, and whenever you asked he simply dodged the question. All he would tell you is that he’s working. On what, you probably wouldn’t ever know, but at least he managed to keep up his part of the rent every month.

One day, the two of you are walking arm in arm through the local park when someone shouts your boyfriend’s name. Surprised because you don’t normally see him interact with others, you turn to see a man in a suit run up to you, looking frantic and frazzled.

“Ah, if it isn’t Detective Tada.” Tadashi sounds pleased. “Have I introduced my girlfriend to you?”

“Oh wow, a friend of Tadashi’s? It’s nice to meet you, Detective.” You shake his hand as he glances between the two of you, clearly a little speechless. Eventually he reins it in and forces an awkward smile.

“Nice to meet you, ma’am. Usobuki is such a troublemaker and I haven’t seen him in a while so I was getting worried.”

You glance up at your boyfriend, who merely shrugs. Did he have run-ins with the law in the past? “He’s fine, he’s with me and our cats a lot. Did you need something?”

“No, ma’am. Just…” The detective narrows his eyes. “There have been some odd disappearances in the area lately. Be careful, okay? Here’s my number if you ever need…help.” Tada glares at Tadashi before nodding to you, slipping his business card into your hand.

“Thanks, Detective.”

“Thanks for your hard work, Detective Tada. See you round.” Tadashi winks and pulls you away before Tada can say anything more. He stares after you with worry etched into his face.

“You’re friends with a detective, Tadashi?” You ask. “Since when?”

“Due to my…work, you could say. I have to work closely with law enforcement from time to time.”

You gasp, looking up at him with sparkling eyes. “You work with law enforcement? How cool! I bet you guys are working on the disappearances, huh? How noble.” No wonder he couldn’t tell you much about the job, it was probably top secret, you rationalize his actions in your head.

He chuckles at your naivety, secretly glad you’re not pressing the topic. “That’s right, babe. And that’s why I want you to be careful, okay? There are all sorts of people out here, not all as nice as me.”

You nudge his shoulder playfully. “I don’t know if ‘nice’ is how I would describe you, sweetie, but if you say so.”

***

After a really difficult day at work, you come home to fling yourself into your boyfriend’s lap, cuddling one of your cats as you ramble about your most annoying coworker.

“Ugh, it’s like Akane has something against me!” You complain, scratching the cat behind her ears. “She keeps trying to throw me under the bus. I’m glad my boss knows I’m a good worker and was on my side, but what is her deal? It’s like she’s trying to turn others against me. Our other coworker, Yuuto, even told her to back off.”

“Hmm…” Tadashi hums quietly, rubbing your back in soothing circles. “Would you like me to help you?”

“You’re already helping,” you mumble, nuzzling into him as your cat purrs in your arms. “And little Hazuki is also very helpful, aren’t you, girl?” She meows her agreement. Satoka and Suzuki are both curled up nearby, napping together in a patch of sunlight.

“No, my dear. Is there a…request you wish me to fulfill?” His voice is quiet in your ear, tone light with something odd simmering below the surface.

You stiffen as a chill runs down your spine. You’re not sure if he’s joking anymore, and you’re afraid to ask what he means.

“N-no, it’s fine,” you mumble. “It’s just some petty squabbles, is all.”

“Are you sure? You don’t want me to, say, make this Akane stop bothering you at work?” Why does he sound hopeful?

“No, Tadashi.” You try to be more firm. “Whatever you’re thinking, I don’t want it.”

“Okay, okay.” He sighs, burying his face in your neck. “I’d gladly help you if you would just ask. You could be my favorite client, you know.”

“No, thank you. Don’t bring your work home.”

“No promises.” He gently nips at your neck, making you giggle.

Unfortunately his work does end up following you, in the weirdest of ways. Barely days after that little chat, Tadashi’s mood starts to change. You notice that he’s more protective of you, pushing you away from the street as you walk down the sidewalk, always there waiting patiently for you to come home from work, sometimes even bringing you back home himself. As you leave the building, you see him stare over your head at someone, and turn just in time to see Akane walking away. Maybe you saw that wrong, because how would he possibly know what she looks like? 

As all this is happening in your home life, there’s an odd shift at work as well. Akane starts being nicer to you, offering to grab you a coffee or buy you lunch every so often. Even as she smiles at you, it never reaches her eyes. Eventually you call her out for being so weird with you, and she sighs.

“Look, I just wanted to apologize for being so nasty to you this past year. You’re not a bad employee at all; if anything, you’re a great employee. We all know it. I just have a hard time apologizing. Tell you what, can I treat you to some food tonight? I’ll buy you dinner, how about it?”

You agree, albeit reluctantly. If this makes her stop being weird, then fine.

When you mention this new plan to your boyfriend, his expression doesn’t change. “Have fun,” is all he says.

You go out to meet her that night, and she takes you to this expensive, exclusive sushi place. You’re escorted to a private room and they just start bringing out dish after dish, with heaps of side dishes and alcohol to go with it.

When you look to Akane, she just says, “It’s on me. Enjoy it.”

She pours the both of you a drink and clinks glasses with you before taking a sip. Following suit, you drink, only to notice that the liquid tastes off. There’s a strange saltiness that it shouldn’t have, and you put the glass down and gag a little.

“What is that? If it’s expensive, you need to get your money back.”

Akane laughs, practically cackling. You stare in horror as she reveals a small bottle filled with cloudy, translucent liquid, marked with a blank label.

“I can assure you, I’m getting my money’s worth. Just not in the way you think.”

Throwing the little bottle down onto the table, she stands, laughing even louder. 

“Finally, I’m getting rid of you! My biggest rival.”

Rival? You never thought of her as more than an annoying coworker, so did she see you as an arch nemesis this whole time? You think it would probably make things worse if you told her that she was never more than a brief thought in your mind, so you kept quiet.

“Yes, you’re a good employee, but you’ve always been so stuck up! You always thought you were better than me!”

“You could have just, I don’t know, worked on improving your skills instead of focusing on me?” You mumble under your breath. Akane is too wrapped up in her monologue to hear.

“And even Yuuto, my darling Yuuto, stood up for you and defended you!”

“Darling?” You ask incredulously. “Isn’t he married? Isn’t this year his fifth marriage anniversary?”

“So what?” She screeches, nails gouging into the wooden table. “He knows that we are meant to be! I know that he will leave his wife for me…when I finally get rid of you.”

“Yuuto and I are just friendly coworkers,” You say, trying to calm her down. “Neither of us have said anything remotely flirtatious. Like, ever.”

“Oh, shut up! You might have fooled everyone, but you never fooled me! And now, within the hour, you’ll be gone and I’ll be here to take your place! At work, and in Yuuto’s life!”

Right, the liquid she snuck into your cup. You guessed it was poison, but really it only tasted like overly salty water. And you didn’t feel any different, so maybe you could bide your time and get to a hospital.

“Okay, I think that’s enough.” Tadashi gave a heavy sigh, entering the private room.

“Ah, Usobuki! You’ve already fulfilled your end of the bargain, and now my rival will die, so I don’t need your services anymore.”

“Yeah, about that. We’ve had a change of plans, actually. Look at the bottle again.”

Akane picked it up and gasped. “It…is this even poison? It doesn’t look like it! What did you do, Usobuki?” She glared at him, but something in his expression turned her anger into horror.

“It is poison, actually. But are you sure you put it in the right cup?”

Instantly, she reeled back, clutching at her own throat. 

“No…no, why…this isn’t what I wanted…”

A dark chuckle. “No, it’s what I wanted.”

“Th-then if I’ll die, I’m going to take her with me–!”

You reel back in your chair, but she doesn’t head your way. Instead, she lunges into the table between you, sending plates flying. Akane makes a choking sound, and you realize something is lodged in her throat.

“It’s just a small rice ball, spit it out!” You cry, frozen in place.

“Is it just a rice ball? They did bring out sea urchins, too,” says Tadashi, and Akane’s eyes bulge. Spots of blood appear all over her neck, as if it’s being punctured from the inside. Eventually, Akane’s whole body goes limp, eyes rolling in the back of her head, never to open again.

It’s hard to breathe. You can’t figure out what just happened, and your chest heaves as your eyes fill with tears.

“Hey, hey. Look at me. It’s okay. Breathe with me slowly.” Tadashi is kneeling in front of you, blocking the view of the scene behind him. With his help, you get your breathing under control, but you still can’t stop from crying.

Gently, he pulls you up, bringing you out of the private room. The restaurant host sees your distress and asks about it.

All you can say is, “I couldn’t help her,” while trying not to burst into loud sobs. 

“I think her friend was allergic and just didn’t know,” explains Tadashi as he guides you out of the building. Before you know it, you’re back at home, curled around a pillow in bed crying your eyes out as the cats gather around you, clearly worried about you.

The next day, you wake up with a headache, eyes still stinging from crying yourself to sleep. Gratefully you grab the painkillers and wash them down with the glass of water, all conveniently on your nightstand, only for the memories of last night to come rushing back. You double over, coughing on your water, hoping that the pills you just took weren’t poison after all.

“My dear, you’re awake.” Tadashi appears at your side out of nowhere, patting you on the back. Instantly you recoil from him, putting pillows as a barrier in between you. As you finish your coughing fit, Tadashi smiles sadly at you.

“L-leave me alone,” you gasp. 

“Oh, my darling. Normally I’m used to horrified stares, but I don’t like it coming from you.” His pout, which you would normally find charming, just makes you angrier.

“If you aren’t going to leave, then explain,” you practically spit at him, glaring daggers.

“I had hoped you would never find out, but I suppose it had to happen. So. My mysterious job that you don’t know about. I’m an assassin. I take clients who put murder requests at a certain phone booth in the city.”

He says all this so casually that you almost don’t believe him, but you couldn’t begin to understand yesterday without this.

“You kill people.” Your voice is a nearly unrecognizable monotone. “But how did you kill Akane without touching her?”

Tadashi explains to you about his method of killing. As much as you don’t want to hear it, you feel like you need to know, so you listen to him describe his hypnotism and tricking people into hallucinated deaths or suicides.

“It is the ultimate defense, the impossibility defense. Because who can convict me when there is zero physical evidence of me doing anything?”

You stare down at the pillow in your lap as you clutch onto it like a lifeline. 

“Akane was the client who introduced me to you way back then,” Tadashi explained.

You could barely look him in the eye anymore, but you motion weakly for him to continue.

“She wanted you gone for a while now. That first time she commissioned me to kill you was the day I first met you, and you guided me to the store. You were supposed to eat the cookies, see them as acid-covered balls of razor wire, and choke to death.” He says all this so matter-of-factly, it makes you sick. “But that didn’t happen. You’re immune to my hypnotism, my dear, and that’s what makes you special.”

“So why didn’t you just kill me some other way?” you whisper.

He shrugs. “Didn’t want to. Not like that. And I decided I already liked you. So I hypnotized Akane to forget that she ever requested your death. But she ended up trying again, so this time I’d had enough of her and decided to get rid of her before she did something to you herself.”

Don’t justify killing her like you’re doing it for my benefit, you think to yourself.

“So you’re a murderer who never does his own killing and can’t be proven to be a murderer. Yet you call yourself an assassin, like it’s cool? Like a vigilante or something? But aren’t you doing this for your own sick pleasure?”

For a moment, you worry that your sharp words might anger him, but he simply laughs. “Isn’t it interesting to watch how humans think, the way they act? Such fools, thinking they can get rid of their problems so easily by hiring me. But humans are so foolish, so hopeless. I do this because they ask me to. And I’ve steadily lost faith in humanity…until I met you.” He pins you with his intense gaze. “You’re different. Any darkness in you is dwarfed by the light. You could have asked me to get rid of Akane, and I would have gladly done so for you. But you never did. You even tried to help her after she tried to kill you with salty water. I find you fascinating. Won’t you help me regain my hope for humanity?”

Stunned, you say nothing. He caresses your face gently before getting up and leaving, probably to give you some space.

The cold touch of his skin lingers on yours, sending shards of ice into your heart. What does it matter that you don’t fall for his hypnotism, when you’re trapped with him regardless?

The door opens a crack to reveal a cat, pushing his face through to meow at you. Suzuki trots up to you, jumping into your lap and rubbing his face against your shirt.

You know that the cats can’t open the doors by themselves, so Tadashi must have opened it for him. Why did he have to be so nice, even after all this?

Lying down with the cat in your arms, you shut your eyes, stinging with unshed tears. You pretend not to notice that Tadashi is peeking through the doorway at you, brow furrowed with quiet concern.

[callmegaith]

I'm curious why david seems to be such a popular and dare I say, liked character, when I played paradise I thought he was really..gross to be honest haha, maybe I'm missing something, I know he's also Mr Rabbit right so I guess he's popular because of his lore relevance? Love your art though!

You'd be surprised to know it wasn't always like this. 5 years ago most people hated him. And then I came along with my agenda (/j)

Real talk I have so much to say about David but I'll try to not talk your ears off, anon.

David, when you meet him in Paradise, is a kid. He's a dumb 15 year old teenager. He's the youngest Eilander. Obviously he is annoying and kinda weird, being a 15 year old who grew up on a secluded island in a cult...considering the circumstances, he's actually pretty tame. Just a dumb kid doing dumb things to annoy a brother he never knew. Remember, Jakob left when David was just a toddler. He probably just doesn't know how to behave and is socially inept, having not interacted with anyone outside of his own family. Jakob is a stranger to him. Not to mention he probably also grew up without a mother since they sacrificed Caroline.

It's become a stable fandom HC that David was probably overshadowed by Jakob. Jakob was the special one who gets to be sacrificed to the lake and is obviously the smarter one. Craving attention, he acted out and did outlandish shit to get noticed. And that's why he ends up becoming a magician. On stage, he's the center of the world.

TLDR; dumb teenager growing up in a cult with terrible social skills.

Then he becomes Mr. Rabbit, a very very interesting character, not just to Dale's lore but for the story generally. Personally to me what he did in Hotel made him badass to me, even if he was playing right into Mr. Owl's hands. The fact that out of all the guests, David is the one who recognized something was off about the food in Hotel?? You can even see him being worried during dinner

And ya know, he makes a whole escape plan that makes him the White rabbit, not only that but then somehow he manages to escape and unlike the other souls, he does not remain in the lake but leaves. He's clearly unique in some way, his soul does not look like the other corrupted souls we know.

Obviously him escaping eventually leads him to Dale and the events of Birthday. He leaves Dale a letter to apologize for what he's about to do, which is more than anything any other character has done in this game before killing someone. He's not a crazy psycho killer with a Tommy gun, just a dude who did something bad out of necessity.

Mr rabbit/David is one of the most interesting characters in this game. There are so many unanswered questions about him. But most people brush him off as the weird teenager who put frogs in his pants. He's just one of those characters where it's like... The more you think about him the more interesting he becomes. Why are there two rabbits? Did David go back in time to try and save himself? If so how can he time travel? What did he take from Dale's family box? Was it really the pistol or something more personal? Where is David now? Is he a tree at the bottom of the lake like Rose? Is he dead? Is he a corrupted soul? Why is his corrupted Soul different? Is it an advanced form of a corrupted soul we haven't seen before? Etc.

Chapter 2 TLDR; mysterious character wow what is up with Mr. Rabbit?

In conclusion: I just think he's silly and funny and people have grown to like that about him :D

[softpromise]

20 questions

how many works do you have on ao3? 11 works!

what's your total ao3 word count? 385,785?! wow

what fandoms do you write for? i have primarily published for zelda and one fic for honkai star rail, i've been working on a number of genshin impact fics but we'll see if i ever finish any haha. i miss the days when i could get myself to just post chapters as i wrote them but now i feel like i have to have all or a significant amount done before publishing :')

what are your top 5 fics by kudos? to hold the sun (zelink, complete), pawn structure (zelink, complete), i could only have you in my dreams (danstelle, slowly whittling away at another chapter), thunderstruck (zelink, complete), all in a day's work (working on a re-write!)

do you respond to comments? always and i feel guilty if it takes me too long to respond!! writing fanfiction is fun and cathartic but the reason i publish it is to talk to people about it. please comment on fanfic and feel free to respond again when/if authors reply - it's one of my favorite things!

what's the fic you wrote with the angstiest ending? ummm i'd have to say i could only have you in my dreams but that's mostly because it's "unfinished" as it stands right now. i love reading and writing angst in a fic but i'm too baby to give something an actually angsty ending :x

what's the fic you wrote with the happiest ending? EVERYTHING ELSE but maybe to avoid a cliche (zelink, complete) because the entire thing was a cliche and predictable and i just wanted it to feel cozy

do you get hate on fics? umm i'm sure i have but i don't really dwell on it. if someone's hating on skill, go off, i'm not a writing major and i'm publishing fics for free. if they want to hate on content/themes, different strokes for different folks. if they think i've done something "wrong", then i'd much rather they bring it to my attention respectfully so i can do better and learn. but at the end of the day, fanfiction is for fun, and i publish things i love and am proud of, and i've been lucky to receive a warm reception!

do you write smut? if so, what kind? absolutely i do! i feel like what i've published is on the kinkier end of the spectrum for a more vanilla reader, but on the vanilla end for a more seasoned reader. i like playing with power dynamics and desperation and worship/infatuation/obsession.

do you write crossovers? if so, what's the craziest one you've written? i haven't, and i don't know that i would! i really like coming up with plots that rely heavily on canon (even if it's just in my own way lol), and struggle with writing concepts that don't. i'm not sure i could get myself to write a crossover, unless it somehow still felt possible within canon!

have you ever had a fic stolen? not to my knowledge!

have you ever had a fic translated? i haven't! i'm working on a specific fic that i'd love to have translated into ukrainian eventually, so if there's anyone reading this that might be able to help, hit me up!

have you ever co-written a fic before? yes! to hold the sun with @obsidiangst and @hyperphonic, and pawn structure with hyperphonic. i learned so much through both experiences (and, yes, i'm tagging you both to do this xo)

what's your all-time favorite ship? easily zelink, i've loved them ever since i was a kid. it's the pure love, the cyclical romances, the trauma and the angst and the slow burn... and the forever and ever and ever. i've been really into chilumi lately too - the dynamic of "more than meets the eye" childe and "aloof intergalactic goddess that cares, believe it or not" lumine. i just love pining hahaha

what's a WIP you want to finish, but doubt you ever will? *looks at wips folder* all?!?!?!?! just kidding (?). i'm really not sure! i did start a midzel piece a long time ago, inspired by carmilla, and i don't know that i'll pick that one up again. maybe i'll try to polish up what i have and put out a one shot instead of the slowburn longfic i wanted to do :')

what are your writing strengths? the easiest thing for me to sit down and write through to completion (pun very much intended) is smut! that's very often the part i finish first, while doing everything else in bits and pieces. i'm generally going for sexy but artsy, with the right mix (for me!) of blunt words and prose. i also feel that i'm good at characterizations that align with/expand upon canon.

what are your writing weaknesses? i definitely struggle with getting all of my thoughts onto the page, and i often have to read and re-read and RE-re-read to see if what i wrote makes sense (i.e. i didn't forget to include anything critical because my brain assumes it's already there). lately i've been having trouble with really connecting to writing, too, which makes the text feel shallow to me. working on being patient and writing one good sentence at a time!

thoughts on writing dialogue in another language for a fic? i love the idea and have a lot of thoughts so let me try to summarize! logistically, i would do it either in brackets (a la to hold the sun) or italics (if it was like a particular phrase in an otherwise english line) or just mention it, depending on the context. creatively, though, to me it's important (and fun!) to start by researching the culture. i also would be more comfortable including specific phrases/pet names rather than entire bouts of dialogue, unless i found a native speaker to help me!

first fandom you wrote for? zelda HAHA if i ever wrote any fanfic before that i don't remember it!

favorite fic you've ever written? hylia's greatest gift. it was something i felt was missing in the fandom, for a lot of reasons, and i think it represents what i'm best at writing as well as what i want to read. it's funny, it's lovely, it's sexy, and i really put no pressure on myself while writing it. i have something upcoming that can hopefully feel similar to me :)

thank you so much to @1up-girl for tagging me, i had so much fun reading your answers and then thinking through them myself! to anyone else reading, if you want to fill this out, consider yourself tagged - share your brain and @ me so i can read!!

[servenas-inner-fangirl]

Watching Black Sails 3x7

My watching is picking up pace again, maybe because I'm procrastinating other things with it... like doing my taxes.

Oh damn, did Max know exactly where to find her?? - Pls don't fight, pls don't fight...

Oh, okay, this is a planned meet-up. Also Anne on a horse is doing things to me. She looks so cool!

"Fuck what he needs." My thoughts exactly.

Well that went well. But also I'm confused - what was the night at the cave Anne was referring to? Because the last time we've seen them together, Jack had definitely not been arrested yet.

Also Max arguing for Jack's life (and, granted, probably her own ambitions for Nassau...) is maybe a bit ironic?

"it will tear her to pieces." I just want my lesbians to be happy, is that too much to ask?? Appearantly...

"Now you come back with nothing but him -" Well, I for once am happy he did!! But the ships would've been nice as well.

Vane seems as into Flint's military speeches as the rest of us.

"I don't know yet." Not what you want to hear from your most important ally in that kind of situation! But the queen seems to know quite a bit about military strategy herself.

Man, I wish Jack were long gone by now! Alas...

Yes, pirate queen Madi soon!!

That man does not look healthy at all. A plague in Nassau is the last thing we need right now... or is it?

Yay, Jack is not being tortured!! - Wait, Rogers is married??

Nooo, don't give Jack to the Spanish!! Bad, bad governor! (And Max is genuinely upset. .__.)

Haha, I bet I know what Featherstone is thinking right now!

I don't think the Spanish need to provoke Anne at all, when they meet up with her without Jack, she will tear into them like a rabid dog.

Yes, wlw solidarity! Or something.

"I don't know what is worse, Anne dying for Jack or surviving without him." T_T

Oh, a peace offering!

Hm, maybe I don't know what Featherstone was thinking.

Vane is still really pissed about the whole thing, huh? That really got under his skin.

Oh wow, is Billy actually being helpful?? - Yes, Silver is back!!

I love every single sentence of that conversation between Max and Eleanor. God, this show does relationships between women so well even though there aren't that many.

Eleanor playing with fire, nothing new here...

Okay, maybe I feel for Rogers a bit. Who could resist a woman like her? - And it's been a while since the show has been that explicit, right? I kinda missed it. It somehow feels different than in a lot of other shows, more interesting.

Okay, that's an interesting post-sex topic. But it kind of feels like Nassau itself is fighting back against the foreign invaders.

"You're one of them." Man, you have no idea how much. Or do you?

And I don't really believe Eleanor when she says she no longer wishes to be that way. But Rogers appearantly does.

Love Vane being all sneaky. And Featherstone's "Hand over Jack or Nassau burns. This is a dilemma to us how?" is really funny.

Roger's dream of a new Nassau is already falling apart, one Featherstone at a time.

"He's fine. - He's dying." From falsehood to truth in under 5 seconds flat. But love for the slave girl from season 1 (who's appearantly named Eme, which I had forgotten) to get some plot! I always felt like she would be a bigger part of the narrative, and then she wasn't.

That's not a very full tavern for Silver's show. But it's probably safer that way.

Oof, and he's immediately back to insulting his audience. But I love that he's basically telling the ghost story Flint wrote for himself so long ago.

Oh, of course Madi knows Eleanor, they grew up together! But Madi should be careful about what she says, Eleanor did free Eme from slavery after all, there might still be some loyalty there...

Guess we're gonna find out who is already sick of civilized life and would rather go back on the account (or is simply more terrified of Flint than England).

It is such a delight to see Silver work. The man definitely has a way with words.

UGH, Dufresne. Somebody finally kill that guy.

I think he's making a mistake underestimating Silver here. A lot has happened since they last saw each other.

YES! (They're really controlling the room well with just a handful of men.)

Ewwwww. But yeah, that'll send a message. They couldn't have planned this better. (Also the Silver of S1 would have never. - Although - he did stab a man in the first episode.)

Aww, Flint checking up on Silver! - Ugh, these two are so co-dependent. No wonder everybody is insane over them.

Everybody like: Oh shit, Flint is alive! Rogers is about to find out Eleanor named the wrong pirate as the most dangerous one.

Rogers playing 5d chess in regards of how to (not) react to this newest development, and probably still coming up short in the end. There is no way Flint isn't already two steps ahead.

Idk if Max wants to help with this. Isn't this a way to get Anne (and Jack) out of harms way? She's gotta see this.

Either way, Idelle is not wholy on board, I think. But I love how much influence the whores have in this show because everybody always underestimates them.

Ugh, she is back. Is that wise? She wasn't very nice to the girls who do remember her. Why not Idelle?

But Max doesn't want some random whore, she wants Anne. ;_;

Huh, Flint is impressed. Maybe I did underestimate Rogers. Either way, this will certainly be a meeting to remember.

Oh god, Rogers immediately twists the knife that is Thomas Hamilton. Let's hope Flint won't jump over the table and try to strangle him. (And how much does Eleanor know about that whole story? Certainly not everything.)

"Nobody's being hanged." Well, except for Jack maybe?? Since you're giving him to the Spanish??

"So what is it you're fighting for that we're not already offering?" Revenge.

Also they're just gonna pardon the burning of Charlestown? Or did they blame all of that on Vane?

"I no longer seek anything from England except her departure from my island." Flint really has the best lines.

Featherstone trying to bring some brain cells to Vane's single-minded pursuit of Anne Bonny and the cache... but maybe in vain (haha).

If this gives me just one actual interaction between Charles and Anne, instead of them merely existing in the same space, I will be happy.

Those are maybe too many men to kill even for Bonny. But maybe not for the both of them?

Oh Anne! She's gonna think Max betrayed her! This is breaking my heart.

So this was the plan? Let the money get away and leave Anne ready for anything? Not a bad plan, but still.

Oh, they had already met up before! So Anne was playing a role. That explains how she gave up rather easily.

Vane has actually though this through!! Or maybe somebody else thought it through for him. And this also means that they're forcing Flint's hand, who might otherwise not be so interested in Jack's rescue.

I approve. Surely nothing will go wrong...

[galactic-pirates]

For the fic emoji game: 💖, 🤷‍♀️, 🎬, and ⏳, please! :)

Oh yay thank you for the ask! 😍

💖Which of your fics is your pride and joy? Oh wow! This is such a good question, I love it! Erm... also hard haha, let me think.

I'm tempted to say Time Will Tell because that started as a thought experiment. Can I take a trope I don't really like and make it work for me? The answer was yes so it was a really cool exercise. However, I feel like I might be being overly swayed by the kind comments I've had on it. I have legit teared up reading them. They are frame-worthy. I have the best readers honestly.

Also it does occur to me that time plays tricks. It's easier to remember the stuff I wrote most recently, and not how I felt when I wrote things in the past. At different times, you'd get a different answer. I have more nostalgia for my older fics these days. I'm in a very different place in my life.

Honestly I think I have to go for one of the crossovers. I questioned my life choices while writing both of them because they were such an investment of time and effort. I also knew they were both niche and I could well be writing for an audience of one. However, I still wrote them and that says a lot I think.

So ultimately I'm going to say and the Sins of Atlantis. The Sanctuary/Librarians crossover. I unironically really enjoy it and I have read it more than once. Is that egotistical? Probably. But it's just so much fun.

🤷‍♀️What's a fic you didn't expect to be popular, but really took off? and the Brighter Side of Life. It's a little Librarians oneshot where Eve takes Flynn home to meet her parents. The comments and kudos just poured in (comparatively). I remember being stunned at the time. It was one of half a dozen oneshots I wrote for the Librarians Prompt Month the first year I really took part. That one just went whoosh.

🎬One of your fics gets turned into a TV series. Which one is it and what network is it on? Ooooh. Hmm... interesting. Well this goes back to what I said earlier about time. I don't feel much of a connection anymore beyond "awwww nostalgia" for my older fics. There are some cool details and dynamics, and I feel like taking notes in case I want to incorporate them somehow into a novel in the future. However, that's about the extent of my feelings.

I haven't written a true AU really since those days though. I love AU's, they are a chance to be inventive. When I read back my old fic I'm like "oooh" about the 'clever' choices I made in how to bring in various characters (sorry egotistical again). But that's the fun of AU's really, how to make it all fit together in this new way.

Anyway it's kinda hard to say about my more recent fic, being turned into a TV show because it already is a TV show - it's just missing moments, canon divergence etc.

Also I got to be honest I know nothing about various networks and what they are known for, or what networks are good and what suck. Especially because I mostly watch US TV and I live in England so I never see anything on it's original network (unless it's a multi-region streaming thing like Disney+ I guess).

I suppose... I'm picking at writing an original serial which is the closest books get to a TV show I guess. It's structured very much into episodes and seasons. It's an artifact chasing type unit ala Warehouse 13/the Librarians but based in England, with worldwide adventures and predominantly queer. The Librarians was TNT and Warehouse 13 SyFy (thanks google). I think the new Librarians is on Prime like the new Leverage? The queer MC's do make it trickier though. I think all networks suck for that. I don't know honestly.

⏳If you could go back in time and tell your younger writer self something, what would it be? Another great question!

This is difficult because I have learned so much craft over the years, and it would be amazing to go back and be like "here's what you need to know" so I could write better stories, much earlier. However, that's part of learning I guess - it's a journey. I suppose the emotion here is that I mourn the time I have lost, the stories I didn't tell, and that has less to do with skill and more to do with mental health.

I suppose ultimately it would boil down to a cliché of "don't give up" because I did. As a kid I dreamed of being a writer but when I was about 14 I told myself I had to grow up. That I had more chance of winning the lottery than making any money at it, and I had to get serious and pick a real career. I sobbed all night and a few years later had my first complete mental breakdown, but I digress.

Writing is in my soul. I always return to it. That's why I wish so much that I hadn't turned away from it. Those 'lost years' I mentioned. Back in 2016 I indie published a couple of books. I look at them now and cringe, and wonder how I ever got the nerve as I feel they are so badly written (hey maybe that means my skills have improved?). However, I was finally following my dream. Then... my personal life blew up (I was going to write out what happened but I'll spare you). In my fear and panic I made some decisions and I didn't write much for years. I gave up on my dream. It's only now - 8 years later!!! - that I'm coming back to it and I regret that so much.

So yeah TLDR - don't give up on the dream. Keep writing.

[dont-post-after-midnight]

My thoughts on the season 1 finale for Gremlins: Secrets of the Mogwai

Warning!!! There will be spoilers so be sure and watch the show up until the end if you haven't already!

I'm super happy with how season 1 wrapped up but it...definitely wasn't what I was expecting, lets just say that... and I have lots of questions, thoughts, and just random tidbits I really liked so I thought I'd pile them all into one big post (I may make a second one if it gets too long I'll see where my brain goes).

First of all:

I love that Henchman #2 (or whatever his number was haha I can't remember) showed up at the end with Gaptooth and thought "oh their going to play a really big part in the finale!" and the he just proceeded to go "f*ck this sh*t I'm out" like that one vine of the guy jumping into the water and I can't even with him 🤣

Claw is a queen, need I say more? I am sad she ended up dying she was my fave (even though I figured she and the others would since that is typical for Gremlins in the movies to all perish by the end). But I can't help but wonder in this scene when she's looking up at Riley and telling her fellow brethren to kill him, if she'll somehow come back in season 2 for revenge? I think it was confirmed by Joe Dante or someone working on the original Gremlins movies that Stripe was essentially "reincarnated" as Mohawk (someone correct me if I'm wrong on this!) so it's definitely possible, Claw might even get reincarnated into Stripe somehow. They gave her such a fun personality I really hope she does return! (same for that one Gremlin that can sing really good I'm curious as to why the creators made her stand out so much).

Also, I'm glad Snout survived! He doesn't seem too pleased to be a mogwai again but I'm glad he's ok, he's so cute! I do think it's interesting he (and another gremlin I'll mention later) made it, I wonder if the creators have plans for him in season 2...

(Wow having a knife in your mouth makes you look really cool even if you don't have any hands)

So Riley died??? I put the question marks because yes, he did get turned into a cockroach and cut in half (REALLY rough way to go) but if you go back and watch this scene, do you notice anything strange?

This mogwai he ate back in episode 8 wasn't with the people he consumed with pearl magic. All the gremlins got turned back into mogwai, but I didn't see this little guy anywhere with them. I was WAY too lazy to grab screenshots of all the mogwai at the end, but if you go back and look I swear I didn't see him anywhere. I bring this up for a couple of reasons. The "fourth rule" is that if you eat a mogwai you live forever right? Well, he never spit this guy back out, so shouldn't he still technically be able to live forever, regardless of what happens to him? And this mogwai looks so different than the others, and has a little tuft of fur with a white stripe on his head. Interesting that this is the mogwai he ended up eating... Wishful thinking I suppose, I'd just really love for him to come back. He was such a good villain!

I'm glad Grandpa and Nuwa came back! Sam's Grandpa was such a fun character and Gizmo missing Nuwa was making me sad ;-;

Also I love that the Wing family essentially adopted Elle at the end it was really sweet. And it was nice Gizmo got to stay though after all that happened, I'm genuinely shocked Nuwa would let him?? Like yeah I know the show is a prequel and Sam is the old shopkeeper in the first movie, so naturally they'd have to end up together. But still!

And finally: Yaaaaaay one Gremlin survived! I'm so happy this is essentially the Brain Gremlin from the second movie, he was my favorite character in that one and I'm glad they left him as a cliffhanger for season 2. He's still got a slightly evil side to him but as he explained to Elle, he isn't quite as chaotic as his brothers and sisters are. I wonder what his plans will be for season 2?

That's all folks, may make a follow up post to this one if anything else comes to mind!

[symptoms-syndrome]

what was your first Sonic Thing? like a movie or a comic or a game or... - and which one(s), and when? just all the details about the development of sonic-love basically haha

I'm not sure exactly what my first experience with Sonic was, but my first game was Sonic Rush for the Nintendo DS! I was pretty young, def in elementary school but exact ages escape me. It came out in 2005 though so probably...first grade ish at least? My parents were really really strict about what video games I could play and Sonic passed the test.

I also used to watch what I thought was a "Sonic movie" on YouTube, which was actually an extremely long compilation of all the cutscenes from Sonic 06. I was so obsessed with it I'd watch it over and over and memorized the entire thing, which was like. Multiple hours of dialogue.

I also know at some point I got Sonic Heroes for PC, which was the kind of game where it came on multiple discs and took forever to install. I think that was my first not-DS game (I also got Sonic Rush Adventure and Sonic Chronicles: The Dark Brotherhood on DS! And later on Sonic Colors for DS as well) and one time I went over to a friend's house and got to play Sonic Adventure on their brother's Dreamcast, which was AMAZING because 3D GRAPHICS!!! I remember being really wowed by that because I'd never seen it before. I also played a LOT of those fan-made flash games!!!

I also when I was little wrote what would now be called fanfic, I wrote a script for a movie where Sonic and Mario are in The Real World and really wanted to send it to Sega to make it into a real movie.

I also watched a lot of Sonic X!!! Which is my favorite Sonic characterization I think. I don't remember how exactly I watched it, because we didn't have DVDs or cable but I'm pretty sure this was before streaming, so maybe I watched rips on YouTube.

The Sonic obsession came on really quick and really strong though! I tried to get every Sonic game I could, and Youtube-to-MP3-ed a lottt of the music to transfer to my little MP3 player or burn on CDs to play on my boombox (wow that's dated AF.) I had a few Sonic shirts also! Everyone knew me as the Sonic Kid. I also tried to learn to draw in middle school, and would draw Sonic characters and tape them up on my walls. I was really proud of my ability to draw Espio and a character exclusively in Sonic X named Cosmo. I don't know why I just stuck like a magnet to the franchise, but I've just been mega obsessed with it for as long as I can remember.

Now I'm an adult with expendable income to buy Sonic stuff, plus all my friends know I like Sonic, so I have a bunch of plushies gifted by friends and I have most of the Sonic games I somehow missed, like Sonic Generations, Lost World, and the Sonic Boom games. I also still have some Sonic shirts, a Sonic hat, and a lot of random Sonic stuff, like keychains and posters and little figurines! And my wallpapers on my phone and computer are Sonic related, and my ringtone is the Vs Metal Sonic remix of Stardust Speedway Bad Future. I'm lucky that one of my roommates is also a big Sonic fan, so some of the figurines live in the living room and some live in my room. Also since people at work know I really love Sonic, whenever they see Sonic stuff it usually ends up on my desk, so my workspace also has a lot of Sonic. There's a little Tails that sits on my monitor!!!

[goodfully]

okay its been forever since ive really posted anything (big life things! mental health stuff! etc!) but i just finished watching rymans club and wow i just need to sit and talk a little about it.

uhm its like... not the usual sports anime i guess? i only watched it bc i just wanted something really short and easy to watch and i used to play badminton, plus ive had this on my watch list since it came out hahaha. also... ngl i have never seen it being talked about anywhere.

tbh i really enjoyed it! hahaha but as a sports anime, i guess its not that spectacular? i do think theres a lot about this show i really liked tho. most sports anime are about highschoolers, and sports is really all they have their eyes on. its their whole life and dreams. meanwhile id say that for rymans club, where all the characters in this show are older and mostly have office jobs along with being in a badminton team... and the main cast take pride in being both on the badminton team /and/ in their sales team (they also come up with a new popular drink for their company during the show haha).

i thought i could guess the main themes from the start bc well.. ive played badminton and sports anime can be a little predictable, like value of teamwork and getting over trauma from previous tournaments and stuff. but i wasnt really expecting anything like valuing the work you do outside of sports (being a "badryman" aka badminton + salaryman LOL), or doing something more suitable for you (one guy gave it his all and still lost a game, and he realizes that he would enjoy becoming the team coach instead), or family responsibilities vs personal goals (one guy is a dad! he says he doesnt regret quitting badminton like a decade ago after marrying his wife and taking care of his son, but he realizes hes allowed to pursue his goals as well with his family supporting him), or even taking care and not pushing yourself (one guy is not that young anymore and has an injured knee). obviously, winning these badminton games mean a lot to them all, but like... for maybe a third of the show, these guys were also just in suits and doing their sales job in their office, which i found really nice?

also im fond of souta hahaha... probably bc hes an older brother, and hes generally not that energetic and doesnt really put his all into badminton. at one point he was like "do i even like playing badminton..?" which was honestly relatable... ahh. i think in a typical sports anime, such characters will somehow find it in them to enjoy the sports they play and give it their all. but this guy only really tried harder when his partner (his younger brother) was running out of energy and souta thinks that he must do his best to support his brother and win the game together. his younger brother really looks up to him, but he himself doesnt feel that confident in his abilities.

it was also pretty cute that tatsuru inspired mikoto to play badminton when mikoto was just a little kid? and then mikoto inspiring another random kid as well. like!!! yeah!!! as adults, be kind to kids and inspire them!!!

(btw i just adore tatsuru, like hes just such a dude.. i love characters like him LOL)

it was just a short 12 episode show, so we didnt get that much into each character background, and each character arc was pretty fast, as well as the games they played too hahaha but thats understandable.

anyway i have things i have to do... ahh i should end this here. yeah... rymans club... i miss playing badminton hahaha

[soopscoop]

life adventures log 5

june 27, 2023

haiii!!!!! :3

you are currently in a silly and goofy mood because you just woke up from a nap and now you’re super hyper. you were messing around in the bathroom and had the sudden urge to write. its been a bit!

its been 2 months of summer so far. you’ve been keeping busy by doing commissions, playing video games, hanging out with friends, and surprisingly, working! its been a very busy summer, but it somehow feels more fun than the previous. yesterday you began your summer class, so hopefully the fun wont be drowned out by work.

you absolutely adore your friends. truly the dearest things to you right now. you never fail to have a great laugh with them whenever they’re around! please continue to always be there for them and let them know that you can talk to them about anything at all :)

in about a month, your friend’s debut is going to be held. you are beyond excited. you’re dancing in beautiful gowns and suits with all of your closest friends and the practices are giving you plenty of time together. you worry for her. she’s so sweet, the world might eat her up. you pray for her.

you miss college. although you will be away from your friends here at home, you cant help but miss how life was as an independent (kinda). next semester you will aim to not be at home as often, as to live a more independent life (mom thinks its because you will be busier). you want to see if you can really do it (you want to show how capable you are!!).

you can really tell that you and everyone around you is getting older. your parents are aging, your grandparents are getting frailer, your friends are being as independent as you are. its a bit jarring. but its exciting none the less. the future seems bright!

you feel very naive. beginning work makes you feel not as capable as other people. its very jarring to be a newbie at something again, and working at an ice cream shop is making that feeling very apparent. its like, you know you can do something, but you still haven’t gotten to the point where you’ve gained enough experience to meet not only everyone’s expectations, but your own. your coworker said the training was garbage anyways so maybe you aren’t as incapable as you think lol.

you hate feeling incapable. a friend went into heat stroke and it just tore at your heart to not know what to do. the ice cream job makes you feel like an idiot all the time. being at home with your grandmother makes you practically go insane because she still treats you like you’re 5. you are naive! guys, let her live in her delusion in peace!

you like doing things at your own pace. if only life went as slow as you liked going then things would be alright. thats clearly not how it works haha

its june. for a couple of months you’ve been considering things. putting your life into perspective, some may say. like, no cis girl would ever say “god intended me to be a boy before he put me on this earth.” like wow you never really thought it about that way until a little recently, but its been this way for awhile hasn’t it. genderfluid? perhaps? and you dont think you’re bi, not like how you’ve said in the past. every time you think back to that one time you told your roommates that you were questioning about being bi you cringe. thats like. no. it was a little embarrassing and pretty wrong. maybe. idk man. about a year ago you watched the jaiden animaitons aroace video and that definitely resonated with you then, but then suddenly men became so hot..? hormones? insanity? both? maybe you’ll understand when you’re older.

you’ve said to a friend “i think i like men in a... gay way?” they didn’t understand, and honestly, neither do you LMAO. there’s definitely something fruity about you, thats for sure.

you hope you can become someone to love. someone better than the present you. you dont mind being by yourself, and you feel content with the people in your life as of now, but you wouldn’t mind having someone to hold, yknow? anyone? or maybe i should make moves? you feel like you would be such a good partner. thats probably a lie. 

you are a feminist. there have been little things happening around you that just set you the wrong way lately. you remember that women have a place in the world and its never been completely fair. its something you just kinda.. deal with? but you know for sure that there are plenty of men that you sit high above on your beautiful and sexy throne. go babes go.

you’ve been feeling better about your body. its getting smaller. you cant help but think if its just terrible beauty standards or your own personal goal. its both probably. keep it up to at the very least be healthy! take care of yourself please!

as of now, life is good. if only it went a little slower.

songs:

cyanide - daniel caesar

smithereens - twenty one pilots

with all the love and appreciation,

past you

p.s. you want these to be seen when you die. a little bit of a tonal change but like, yeah. you want people to know who you are. you want to be seen. you’ll probably write down the log in info in your phone or something. idk!

[naernon]

QUEN FROM THE ESO THIEVES GUILD QUESTLINE’S FULL NAME IS FUCKING QUENNETH??? ??

[mcdonaldsnumberone]

GHOSTIN'!

voicemails they’d leave while abroad

gender neutral reader

ISAGI YOICHI!

“Good morning, dear! It’s probably late there for you, isn’t it? Just thought I’d give you a call. I’ve been busy, but I still wanna try to talk to you as much as I can. I’m thinking of you a lot, did you know that? Haha, you probably do.”

“Playing overseas has been really cool. I’ve always dreamt of doing this as a kid, so it kinda feels unreal even now… It sorta reminds me of the first time I got to play with Noa. I’ll keep doing my best and make you proud!”

“Next time I go abroad, you should come with me. There’s tons of cool things here I’d love to show you, and I’m taking as many pictures I can to send to you… Okay, I think I should probably get ready to go now. I love you so much! I can’t wait to see you again.”

“Bye!”

KURONA RANZE!

“…Hey. How are you doing? You didn’t pick up, so I’m leaving you a message.”

“Things are pretty chill over here. Just the usual: lots of practice, a few games, talking with the coaches in between. Adjusting to the food took a bit, but Isagi managed to get us some microwave rice somehow.”

“…I really wanna hear your voice. Make sure to call me as soon as you can. I’ll try to pick up. Sleeping and waking up by myself is no fun. I need someone to hold and cuddle with. Guess I got used to always having you around. Not that that’s a bad thing. Still, it feels weird to have to braid my hair myself instead of getting you to do it for me. Ugh, that sounds so sappy, doesn’t it?”

“Well, you’ve already seen how down bad I can get for you. Take responsibility, and make it up for me once I come back. Love you, babe.”

“Take care of yourself. I wanna see you all happy and healthy when I come back. Promise me that much. Talk to you soon.”

YUKIMIYA KENYU!

“Hello, love. Have you been doing alright? I’ve been managing here. There’s so much to see and do even outside of my games that I can barely take everything in! It would have been more enjoyable if you were here though. Everything’s more fun when you’re with me.”

“I hope life has been treating you well over there. I know we just called yesterday, but I want to hear from you again. I can’t help myself—you always make me feel better. If you have some free time later, call me back, okay? It’d be even better if we could video call too. Seeing your face would definitely make my day.”

“There are so many cool glasses shops here! Would you prefer me with my round glasses or something more sleek? The guys on my team kept giving me suggestions and taking pics, which is why I kept sending them to you earlier. Do I look handsome?”

“…I miss you so much, sweetheart. Please stay safe.”

OLIVER AIKU!

“Yo, honeybun. Sorry if it’s a bit loud; thought I’d give you a call while I’m on the way to the facility, but it looks like you’re busy. No worries. Shoot me a text later when you have the time.”

“Man, I really miss you. I feel like I’m becoming an old sappy man, but it isn’t the same without you around. I keep seeing all these cute souvenirs and stuff that remind me of you. And… uh- before you get mad at me, I’ve already bought them. So, uh, don’t bother yelling at me. C’mon, I’m a pro player. I can afford to spoil you as much as I want.”

“The coaches here know how to keep me busy. But I’ve been getting better, so I guess it’s worth it. Kinda wish I had a bit more free time to check in with you more, but hey, I gotta take what I can get. Make the most out of what I’m given, you know?”

“Ight, I’ll hang up and call you later. Kiss me through the phone. Muah.”

NANASE NIJIRO!

“Uh… Is it recording? Can you hear me? Okay, hi! It’s me! I’m leaving you a message! Wow, everything here’s sooooo professional and cool; I can’t believe I’m actually a professional player that gets to play overseas! I wish I could telepathically show everything to you, because there’s just soooooo much!”

“I can’t really understand what the foreign players are saying without the translator earpiece though. That’s okay! I always make sure to have it on me. It’d be better if you were here to keep me company though. The guys here aren’t too cuddly once bedtime kicks in, and snuggling with a smelly pillow isn’t the same…”

“…Oops, is that TMI? Hehe, it’s fine! That means being able to hug you and kiss you once I go back will be all the better! Ooh, I can’t wait! I’m gonna take you out on so many dates, have so many sleepovers, and make sure I’m with you as much as I can.”

“Ahhh, I’m blushing! Okay, okay, breathe Nijiro… In, out, in, out… All good! Call me later when you can! I love you sooooo much! Love you, love you, loveyouloveyouloveyou!!”

MICHAEL KAISER!

“Daaaaarling! Are you ignoring my calls? Awww, that’s fine. I know you’ll pick up at some point! Did you see my game last night? Of course you did. I know perfectly well you wouldn’t miss out on any game that I’m in. You wouldn’t miss out on it for the world, right? Not when your talented boyfriend is playing!”

“That means you saw my goals! It’s okay, save your praise for when I come back. Hearing you praise me on the phone is nice and all, but nothing beats holding you in my arms while you tell me how handsome and cool I am… Ahhh, you’re the best.”

“Don’t miss me too much! I’m making sure to post tons of sexy pictures for you on my Instagram. You can’t keep leaving me on read forever! Who knows? I might just hop on a plane and come surprise you if you keep up your antics!”

“Miss you, darling! Make sure to think of me lots!”

x

[xbabybajix]

Tokyo Rev Boys at the carne asada ✨ pt.2

Hello everyone! I got this ask from my old acc and decided to post it on my new one here :) pls enjoy this headcanons of the bois and feel free to add your own on here <3 ty for reading!

Ran

•given his personality, Ran is definitely that mellow and friendly type but has a bit of mischief when he has an idea

•if the baby cousins are bothering him he’s definitely the type to mess with them to see them cry

•oh a little kid wants to play? Ran will be like “here gimme that toy, and go get the other one” and once that child is out of sight he just hides the toy at a spot where the kid won’t find it

•acts surprised about it going missing and will freak the kid out until they cry

•rindou is snickering in the back

•the tias are like “porque eres tan malo hijo :() but they just let him do that stuff anyways?? HAHA

•OMG he also always get shit for having braids and long hair AND for having that blonde/black combo

•tias are like “cuando te lo vas a cortar pareces niña” 😭😭😭 pls let ran go against machismo

•not the type to dance, he tends to zone out during parties where there’s people dancing

•also kind of doesn’t eat much?? But when he does he handles spice SUPER WELL and doesn’t flinch

•he’s either the stoner cousin OR he’s the one who hangs around them bc ran likes weed ofc

•if y’all show up together then he’s sticking with you the entire time

•mostly just has his arm around you and listens in on the cousin chisme you’re having and will sometimes chime in with witty remarks

•your fam thinks he’s got a sophisticated vibe and think he’s very chill but really he lowkey a menace

•the only time he will leave ur side is when ur stoner cousins show tho srry bby but once he’s smoked his blunts he’s back and is a bit more cuddly w/ you

Rindou

•when yall show up your tias are always like “porque es tan serio” pls rindou has resting bitch face (he’s still hot though)

•is more subtle about PDA, will basically just be next to you and occasionally have his hand on your back for a brief second

•doesn’t like your fam to see him be a doting bf for some reason? But it’s oki you respect his choices

•when yall arrive and sees you become busy with helping the others, he kind of wanders off to sit somewhere and wait for you

•if he sees someone he knows, he’ll sit by them and talk briefly

•often steals glances at you bc he’s lowkey impatient and just wants you to keep him company

•the type of bf that you have for a while but somehow he’s just not fully comfortable with your fam yet especially if they’re super outgoing and energetic

•no worries about the kids bc they’re scared of rindou

•BUT if a toddler waddles to him, rindou can’t help but mess around with them

•lowkey likes babies and thinks they’re cooler than kids

•if it’s a baby cousin of yours that yall see often he’ll even start baby talking and cradle them on his lap and try to make the baby laugh

•has more fun with the baby than with older family members LOL

•the tias don’t really pester him only when they notice he also doesn’t eat much

•QUIERES OTRO PLATO MIJO?? him: no thank you

•them: AHHH ESTAS MUY FLACO DEJA TE TRAIGO OTRO PLATO OKAY? Him: …fuck I’m so full

•forces himself to eat bc he doesn’t wanna upset your fam

•rindou doesn’t dance but on the off chance he does, it’s always a surprise to others bc he’s actually super good at it and is never off rhythm

•when yall are dancing youre that couple where everyone is like “wow they dance so well I wish I knew how to do that”

•your stoner cousins love rindou for some reason?? It’s like he balances out the group bc your cousins are goofy as hell when they’re high and rindou just watches them for entertainment and even records their shenanigans

•i can see them beinf like “oh shit RINDOU? WHATS UP MY DUDE?” And your bf smiles and gives them that firm handshake that turns to a hug (idk what that’s called lmao but just imagine it)

•when it ends he helps with cleanup and also gives u his jacket in case you get cold

•takes leftovers for Ran

Ahhh this makes me wish rindou was my bf now :((

Kawata Twins

Nahoya:

•the goofy one that everyone absolutely loves

•nothing but fun and games when he’s around the fam

•you know when you have those hangouts and it’s just you and your cousins talking about anything while being in a circle?? That’s what always happens when he goes

•he’s always immediately served food when he shows up with u, it’s cute

•the tias and tios love him, tios mess with his hair and say that it looks like a body sponge 😭😭 it’s so floofy <3

•is the type to be like “AYYYY WHATS GOOD HOMIE” to every cousin and gives them a tight hug

•gets along with everyone and even the more reserved fam members who are there

•kids LOVE him and will literally crawl on him and he just lets them

•10 min in the party and there’s already a kid on his shoulders who’s grabbing his hair and pretending to control Nahoya 🥺

•eats everything that is served to him and will also drink beer and not get drunk ??

•time for shots?? Say less Nahoya will take 2 at the same time just for the attention

•will dance cumbia, banda, and sometimes to norteños w you

•is the type of bf to tease you in front of your cousins- but it’s more about y’alls relationship (he makes sure not to push your buttons lol)

Now I wish he was my cousin 😭

Souya

•similar to rindou he is a bit on the quiet side

•except he indulges the kids when they ask him if he wants to play (bc he would feel awful if he said no)

•also his appetite? EATS A TON he loves tacos de asada and also al pastor pls he can go for about 10 and then some

•is okay with you leaving him there while you help, will mostly be on his phone or will just watch you until you’re done

•he also has really good fashion sense and is the cousin that’s known for the most drip

•when your other cousins talk to him souya does this cute thing where he tries to involve u in the conversation

•like if they ask about what plans he has or if he’s been up to anything he always mentions that you’re there when said thing happens <33

•he adores you so much and will never have a problem coming despite if he feels a bit out of place

•but eventually he always ends up being comfortable with your family bc they think he’s good for you

•is shy about dancing but will dance to one or two songs with u

•lowkey loves tres leches cake, flan, gelatina, or the fruita con crema dish

•is the one who’s carrying all your stuff back to the car when it’s time to leave- he makes sure u don’t lift a finger and will make u wear his sweater too

•when it is clean up time he will help without being asked and is also very attentive to your older family members like your grandparents and great tios n tias

Shinichiro

ohhh man this man right here 😩😩

•I just wanna say that drunk Shin will definitely join your drunk uncles and start to sing those sad love songs SUPER LOUD

•AND WHEN THEY ASK HIM TO DO THE GRITOS HE DOES THEM OMG

•embarrassing but also u record it and he notices and then begins to sing to you

•Shin is kinda light weight so he gets drunk almost every time

•but ur fam just teases him for it

•”ya esta pedo el guey? No aguanta nada”

•loves learning cuss words in Spanish and ur uncles tease him bc of his cute accent

•your aunts love how sweet he is to you and he will always be like “ya we’re gonna go get married and have kids and bring them here for you” and your aunts are like OMG WHEN MAKE BABIES SOON PLS

•is very into pda and doesn’t care if you’re with family, will have his arms around you almost the whole time

•will loveeeee to dance banda with you bc he loves feeling you close to his body

•he kinda sucks at cumbia tho but he tries <3

•will also talk about his bike shop to your uncles and sometimes ends up leaving u at the table 😭😭 pls he doesn’t mean to he just loves talking abt his bikes

•if your uncle makes him look at his car it’s over, Shin is gonna be working on it for free during the party lmao

•your older cousins love him and he’s more of a listener than a talker when he’s around them

•but they like his friendly vibe :3

•Shin also loves the food and will eat a bit of everything, he tries to not pig out so that he has room for the beer and desert 😈

•if yall are talking together in the living room or outside with your cousins, shin is the type to have you sitting on his lap with his arms wrapped around you while listening on the convos

•loves taking pictures of you with the kids or with your cousins

•he’s the one that your younger girl cousins lowkey have a crush on and try to take his attention away from u

•shin thinks they’re being nice but u lowkey know what they’re up to but u snicker anyways bc Shin is literally obsessed with you

•when it’s time to leave, shin will either be drunk and sing songs to you OR he will just follow you around like a lovesick puppy (either is cute imo)

•sorry bby but u gotta drive back home everytime you go out to the cookouts

•he may or may not be getting drunk on purpose just so you can baby him by the end of the night, but u don’t mind it anyways

[sooblvr]

txt & dates they would take you on

pairing ot5 x gn!reader // genre fluff // warnings none // word count 0.6k

#YEONJUN

oh my god he loves to take you on arcade dates! the only catch is that he gets oddly competitive

listen, he loves you to pieces, i promise. just don’t expect him to let you win. ever. and get ready for him to be obnoxious every time he beats you

also flexes a lot, but if anyone else wins or does something better than him he gets really pouty and insists he wasn't even trying

he walks out rambling about how he could’ve beat them in a heartbeat if he really wanted to; definitely waits for you to agree w him

mans will take any compliment you can give him with the dumbest, proudest smile

“how does it feel to have the coolest boyfriend ever?” 

—rest of the members under the cut !!

#SOOBIN

picnic date enthusiast i have no doubts

you bring sandwiches or fruits and he brings a blanket for you to sit on. poor guy blushes a lot every time you reach for the same snack

loves loves loves watching the sunset with you !!!!! in fact he probably distracts you until he gets to be like “wOw Is It rEaLlY tHaT lAtE noW?”

takes out his phone to take a picture of you. he is absolutely whipped for you in this lighting. his favorite word to describe you is ethereal

pinky promise to turn a blind eye when you see him set it as his wallpaper otherwise he won’t know what to do with himself </3

probably picks up small flowers near you to tuck them behind your ear

—

#BEOMGYU

no matter how much he has to drive he loves going to amusement parks. mostly because their fun but also because he wants to tease you every time you get scared of the rollercoasters

don’t tell him i told you but he’s always hoping you’ll ask him to match your outfits. when you don’t, he suggests you both buy the same shirt

“i bet you won’t get on the first seat with me”

does buy you all the food and souvenirs you want though. always plays the aiming games so he can win the biggest teddy bear for you

he’s so embarrassing he’ll literally go “this one’s for you bae” and then misses

you take lots of cute pictures together, yet he only posts the blurry and meme looking ones 

—

#TAEHYUN

you say you’re going to the mall, but somehow always end up at the pet store

it’s not a true date of yours if you don’t point at a ferret or other animal and tell him you’ll name him terry just to mess with taehyun

he’ll frantically look for any animal who somewhat arguably looks like you or like they could be named after you, but ends up frustrated because you don’t get as annoyed as him

that or he’ll just say “haha you’re SO funNY” in the sassiest tone 

he also loves to take you to the ‘exotic’ animal section to tease you about gifting you a pet snake or tarantula because he knows they  make you feel iffy

“give me a solid reason i shouldn’t bring this hamster home with me”

—

#HUENING KAI

saturdays are for the boy(s) and karaoke

when the other members want to tag along you get a big room and order lots of food

you’d think because he’s an idol he’s ready to stun everyone with the vocals, but you actually sound like you’re in a screaming match

he also laughs a lot during the songs, so when it gives you a score you always get zeroes

when the cashier is feeling generous he gives you a discount or a free dessert solely because you’re regulars

when you sing he does tries to do the choreo but the room is usually too small for that. he usually sticks to background yells, sorry, vocals

—

[sunatooru]

hello!! was wondering if i could request smth? i’m assuming most schools (esp japanese ones) would be quite strict in terms of piercings and stuff so maybe smth w nekoma getting a new manager and it’s like a running joke within the team about her constantly having her hair down and she wont even tuck it behind her ears to make sure she hides her ear piercings lmaooo or if she has to tie it she ties it in a low pony making sure it covers her ears so she doesn’t get in trouble (this was me in high school oop) OKAYY so basically at training camp it’s not as strict ??? i’m assuming SO she wears her septum and her belly button piercing, maybe a tongue one too, and nekoma + other team’s reactions hehe thanks so much, if this is too long dw about it AHAHA

Hellooo this was so fun to write and I low-key relate with hiding piercings haha. Thank you for requesting and let me know if you like it xx

~

You knew the minute you pierced you ears you wouldn't be able to show them. You knew your school would never allow them but that didn't stop you. Not the first time, second time and many many times after. It was an obsession. The semi second of pain meaning nothing as you admire the final results.

You were almost bitter at the fact you had to hide your piercings. The jewellery left on your bed at home as you walk into school. You tried to remove anything that was directly seen. You figured it was too much of a hassle to take off and put on your earrings everyday, so you settled to tie your hair in a low pony. Hair covering your ears as if they didn't exist.

This of course was an unusual look. You were receiving looks from everyone. Teachers could say nothing, however, it's not like you were breaking any rules. It fact you was making sure you wouldn't break rules.

When you applied for manager for Nekoma's volleyball team and got the role, you didn't expect to get along with them so well. But that didn't mean they knew about your piercings and they made sure to tease you about your choice of hairstyle.

"I'm convinced you don't even have ears." Kuroo grinned.

Rolling your eyes you collect their towels. This wasn't new. Each team member had come up with a theory about your ears, how they looked and if they were even their. Kenma even commented on how he wished he didn't have ears so he could enjoy silence. You made sure to check up on him after that. Somehow, the nickname 'muffle ears' replaced your name. Yaku mocking how your hair covering your ears acted as mufflers. Oh how strongly you agreed with Kenma's comment in that moment. The dynamic with the team was always playful, however, only really being intense for matches or if there were any injuries. You'd brush off their comments and even call them out. Your ears were covered, not your mouth.

You learnt that in the summer the team would meet up with other school teams at Tokyo, practicing and playing matches to train better. The thought of not having hair making your neck itch,and finally letting your hair out for the day, was comforting. You also gleamed at the idea of getting to show off your piercings, knowing how much of a surprise it would be for the team. But mostly, you just missed how you look with your jewellery on.

On the first day you were too busy with setting up and scheduling that you couldn't even greet your team or the visiting ones. You didn't think it would get as busy, or how hungry boys could get.

"Hey, does Y/n have a twin?" Lev ask as he enters the gym.

"What kind of question is that? No she doesn't..do you even pay attention to information?" Yaku replies, Lev standing straight as he remembers how he forgot Yaku's advice the previous game.

"But then who's the girl who looks like Y/n but with the crazy piercings?" This piques the teams interest.

They get Lev to bring them to your so-called twin. Their mouths open in shock. They watch as you slowly push your hair behind your ears. Your earrings sparkling from the sun. And then they look at you, staring really, and see light shimmering above your lip.

"Is that-is that a septum piercing?" Yamamoto gasps.

"What the- muffle ears!" Kuroo shouts.

Your head snaps to the direction of his voice. You try to hide your smirk as they look at you with widen eyes. You give them a wave before they are stood in front of you.

"Hey guys, are you hungry?" You motion to the laid out of snacks but their gaze don't waver. Their eyes almost bugle out when they catch the silver on your tongue.

"How many piercings do you even have?" Kuroo asks and the rest of the team eagerly wait for the answer, except Kenma, he's somewhere avoiding everyone.

You grin as you show off your piercings and they just watch you excitedly point and answer their questions.

"Wow! You look so cool!" You turn and see a boy with black and grey streaks of hair approach you.

"Bokuto!"

"Kuroo!" They greet each other and you watch as a boy with dark hair quickly come behind Bokuto.

"Is this your manager? I thought your school didn't allow piercings?" Bokuto looks at you.

"Oh they don't. I just take them off or hide them." You answer and the boy, who you learn is called Akaashi, watches you attentively before flicking his eyes to your piercings. You blush under his gaze, not use to having this many people (boys) staring at you.

"Oh we have a game against you next, so let's go." Kuroo states, him and the team starts to walk away but he stops and turns.

"Save some food for us, muffle ears!" You suck in your lip.

"So you're not going to change that name?!" You huff and he grins.

"Nope." He gives you a quick wink and you feel your face get warmer.

The day goes on, more people asking about your piercings and more people looking surprised. Everyone was nice though. No judgement just pure curiosity.

It's finally break time. You watch as high school boys swarm the snack tables. Everyone grabbing a slice of watermelon to cool off the summer heat. You try to clean up but one of the boys almost run into you. You hold the tray you're carrying high so nothing drops, making your shirt lift. This catches Kenma's attention.

"She has a belly piercing(?)" he mumbles but Kuroo hears and instantly looks at you. But he's not the only one. The jewellery reflects off light and gains everyone's attention.

"Is that really Y/n?" Yaku chooses to ignore Lev, not wanting to waste his energy for the next match.

[beachy--head]

Do you remember when Mark would tell Jackson to tell their patients they are beautiful the way they are, and Jackson thought it was weird and never would? Well ;) What if April goes sees Dr. Jackson to alter her chest? Jackson knows she is doing it for wrong reasons, I don't know to please boyfriend or something. And Jackson finally understands Mark's words and says it to his first patient. Japril still has that pull they have even AU think the tension of 9x03 when April is re-virginizing? Poor Jackson, it was supposed to just be another patient consult. Another woman wanting a boob job. Opps. Poor April can't believe she has to take her shirt off in front of the most beautiful man she has ever seen. Seriously, his eyes!! Haha Have fun!!

It was supposed to be a consult for a simple boob job, like he has done dozens of already. How did that turn into him begging his patient not to get one, he has no idea.

Well, he blames Mark Sloan. His mentor might be dead, but he's still playing mind games with Jackson (that's Dr Avery, 29, double board certified, owner of a booming plastics surgery practice). Because he's pretty sure he would have never said what he's just said to his patient (April Kepner, 28, fierce hair, flawless skin, a dimple that could bring him to his knees) without the input of Mark spouting out life advice at the end of his.

"So, what you're saying is that you don't want to do it."

April Kepner blushes furiously as she rebuttons her shirt, because after all, she has just taken her top off in front of a (extremely, insanely handsome) surgeon, only to have him say "no", and rejection is never easy, no matter how used to it she is. Her blushing doesn't help him whatsoever, because her flushed skin does something to him that he's pretty sure is not supposed to happen when he's with a patient.

"Listen, I don't usually say this, because... well, because it's weird, but your breasts are... perfect just the way they are."

She just rolls her eyes.

"Yeah, right. Say that to my boyfriend," and great, now Jackson wants to punch a guy he has never met.

"If you're doing this for him, well, I can guarantee that it won't stop there. He'll find something wrong too with something else, and it'll never end. If you want to do this because it'll make you feel better about yourself, even though I personally think there's no need, then great. I'm on board. But you're clearly doing this just for him, and... Please don't. He should find you perfect just the way you are," (he knows he does). If his accountant could hear him right now, he would probably tear his hair out.

"So are you a plastics surgeon or a psychologist?" she says, covertly wiping a tear, and has he just made her cry?

"I'm... My goal is to leave you better for having met me. That you walk out of here more confident, at peace with yourself, and I'm sorry, but I don't think that's the case here." Now his accountant is probably looking for a gun somewhere.

"No offense, but sometimes when you talk, you sound like a male prostitute."

Somewhere, somehow, Mark Sloan is laughing at him. Hard.

"None taken. And I know, that was cheesy. But seriously, miss Kepner–"

"April."

"April. Don't do this for anyone but yourself."

"I know. I know he's a jerk, and he shouldn't ask things like that, and it's not like he's the love of my life or anything. It's just... I've always been the ugly duckling, the nerdy girl, and I just wanted for once to feel pretty. For a man to look at me and say 'wow'. To feel enough."

"You're more than pretty. I swear, you are."

"Well, it's your job to say that."

"Actually my working day ended 10 minutes ago."