#i think i just flop around too much to have a stable audience really | Explore Tumblr Posts and Blogs

spaceskam · 4 years

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Pretty Little Picture (1/3)

fake dating au, pure fluff, no serious tags, just a bunch of fluff

for day 1 of @malex-cupid

ao3

When Alex agreed to this, he thought it’d be a piece of cake.

“You’re going to regret this, it’s a horrible idea,” Liz said through the phone as he walked around his room, packing his bag for the weekend. He furrowed his eyebrows.

“Why? We’re friends. And I’ve done musicals and stuff, I’ve acted before.”

“Okay, but this isn’t acting. This is going on a weekend getaway pretending to date your friend who you have a crush on is a bad idea,” she scoffed. Alex shook his head, looking between his plain black button-up and his plain black fitted turtleneck. He chose the turtleneck one and folded it carefully.

“I don’t have a crush on him.”

“Really?”

“Really. Trust me, I’ve seen him after pulling an all-nighter and falling asleep in his coffee. I know not to have a crush on him,” Alex said. Though he will admit, that was pretty cute.

“Sounds like something someone with a crush would say,” Liz scolded. Alex snorted a laugh. “Fine, do what you want, at least you’ll be believable with the heart-eyes and everything.”

“I do not have heart-eyes!”

Truly, Alex was sure it wouldn’t be that big of a deal. He lived with Michael already. They shared the house he inherited‒Michael needed a cheap place to live while in college and Alex wasn’t really looking forward to living alone, so it worked out‒and nothing weird had happened in the last three years. They were best friends, what would one weekend hurt?

“Alex, I need your help,” Michael had said, bursting into the living room and nearly making Alex spill his coffee. He stomped towards him, dropping his bag on the ground and flopping onto the couch with a pathetic whine. “Help me.”

“Help you with what?” Alex had asked in return, taking his eyes off his laptop to give him his full attention while he threw a little tantrum.

Michael twisted onto his stomach and rested his chin on his hands, looking up at him. Alex’s heart absolutely did not skip a beat in adoration. He wasn’t that cute.

“You know my internship? The fancy one with all the rich people that pay me to be an intern for them and actually listen to my ideas and‒”

“Yes, Michael, I know about your internship,” Alex laughed. Michael pouted just a little bit.

“Okay, so every year, the CEO takes all the interns and entrance-level employees and their partners on a trip for Valentine’s day and it’s a fun trip, I guess, but it’s really just this big, super informal interview where he and his wife sort of see if you’ll be a good fit for the company long term. Khalil said I have to go no matter what, that it’s super crucial and to make a good impression. Like, I have to go, Alex. I have to get hired for real after I graduate. Do you know how much I’ll get paid just to start? $35 an hour, Alex! I could do so much with that money!” Michael explained, exasperated and overwhelming as if Alex hadn’t heard how much money he would make if he got this job a billion times.

“Yeah, okay, then go,” Alex told him, “Sweet talk them like we all know you can.”

“I need a partner, though,” Michael said, pouting all over again, “So come with me. Please? We can pretend to be, like, long term boyfriends and, like, convince them I’d be a good queer diversity hire at the very least.”

Alex felt his cheeks grow warm at the suggestion and shifted in his spot. “Why me?”

“Because! You were raised around a bunch of bougie rich white people, you know how to act at these things! I’d ask Isobel or Max, but I don’t even wanna pretend to be in love with them. With you, I can do the whole starry-eyed thing and if we have to show PDA, it won’t be that big of a deal because, like, it’s you,” Michael persuaded, clambering onto his hands and knees before putting his head on Alex’s arm and pouting up at him, “Pretty please? I’ll buy you something nice and fancy with my first big kid paycheck.”

“Okay,” Alex agreed, not letting himself think too much about it. They spent all their time together anyway. He’d fallen asleep with Michael’s feet in his lap, he’d seen him basically naked, he’d hugged him and gotten platonic head kisses from him. They could pull it off.

“Okay?” Michael repeated, sitting up more. His smile was shining and bold and Alex had to take a breath. “Okay! Okay, so we have two weeks to pack and come up with stories and shit to tell. It’ll be so easy, they’re gonna love you, you’re so chill. Thank you, Alex, thank you so much.”

Which led to now when Alex was preparing to go on this trip. From the way Michael explained, it would be a lot of just talking and discussing with a side of couples retreat-esque activities.

“He’s apparently superfamily and relationship-oriented. I don’t know if it’s because he’s, like, super conservative or if he’s super progressive and is all for, like, living wages for family and will give people ample time off. I’m too scared to ask just yet,” Michael had explained.

Michael had also assured him that, during discussions, he could either sit with him or go talk to the other partners, whichever he preferred. He basically just needed Alex to look pretty and seem like they were totally in love. According to the way Liz spoke about them, it wouldn’t be a difficult feat.

So Alex packed his clothes and anything he thought he’d need to get by on a three day trip to some bed and breakfast in the middle of nowhere. He wanted to look nice the whole time, even when they weren’t at formal dinners, and he was even going to flip his septum piercing. He planned to use his skills at selling himself to sell Michael as well.

“If you ever need a break, I’ll cover for you while you drive to the nearest convenience store to get a bunch of snacks,” Michael told him as he threw their bags in the backseat of Alex’s little car. Alex snorted a laugh.

“What about if you need a break?”

“Well, I plan to work for this fucker for at least the next thirty years, so my only break will be sleeping,” Michael said. Alex shook his head, going over to fix the collar of Michael’s shirt. It’d taken a bit of convincing to get him to forgo the flannels for a couple of days, but now he had a collared shirt that wouldn’t stay down for some reason. “Speaking of, are you gonna be chill sharing a bed or do I need to sleep on the floor? I don’t mind it, just wanna know if I should ask for an extra blanket.”

“Dude, we’ve shared a bed before,” Alex laughed, “It’s not gonna kill me.”

“Just making sure,” Michael said, taking a deep breath. It was only then that Alex realized that he was actually nervous.

“Hey,” Alex said, grabbing his shoulders and looking him in the eyes, “You’re going to impress the hell out of them, I’m gonna make sure of it, okay?”

“I just really want this job, Alex,” Michael said. Alex smiled.

“And you’re going to get it,” he said, “And, hey, if you don’t, this internship will always look good on your future resume.”

“Let’s just stick to telling me I’m gonna get it, okay?” Michael breathed. Alex laughed and nodded, patting him on the shoulder before shoved him gently in the direction of the passenger seat.

“You’re going to get it. Now get in the car.”

The whole ride there Alex was completely fine. This was going to be a piece of cake and he was going to show Liz that he could totally handle it. He didn’t have a crush, he wasn’t going to catch even more feelings, he was just being a good friend.

It didn’t really dawn on Alex just how stressful this weekend was going to be until they stepped inside the bed and breakfast and Michael looped an arm around his waist and tugged him in close. He knew they were going to be showing casual PDA, Alex agreed to that, but saying it and doing it in private was a whole different world to having Michael hanging onto him in front of other people.

Alex could hear his heart in his ears over the ringing, suddenly very aware of the fact that Michael was muscular. He knew he did a lot of manual labor jobs before he got that internship, but had he always been obvious about it?

Even then, Alex was able to smile through it as Michael led him up to the group of people that were already there. He was able to keep his feet under him as Michael leaned up to his ear to whisper a ‘you got this’. Alex was even stable as he shook the hand of the man whose suit was probably more than Alex’s inheritance.

“This is Alex,” Michael said, smiling over at him like he was the most important thing that ever existed, “My boyfriend.”

Well, shit.

Maybe Liz was onto something.

No, honestly‒Alex was fine.

Michael was charming, he knew that. He’d seen him with girls and guys he liked, he always laid on the charm thick and so it absolutely made sense for him to turn it on Alex. He just wasn’t used to it, that’s all. He just needed to adjust and then it’d be all roses.

“Alex, have I mentioned today that you’re my favorite?” Michael hummed as they went into their little room. Alex finally felt like he could breathe and tilted his head at him, raising an eyebrow. Michael was grinning with his back pressed against the door. “You’re incredible. They like you. Ivan laughed at your joke‒he never laughs.”

“Well, I’m glad you picked the right suitor,” Alex laughed, rolling his shoulders as he sat down on the bed. His back was facing Michael, finally, and he used it to close his eyes and count to three.

Michael was charming, simple. And, honestly, Alex was on the receiving end of it the more he thought about it. Just not in front of people. That’s what made it feel like so much. The audience. He’d never been so loudly out in front of that many people before. That’s what it was.

“The best,” Michael insisted.

The bed creaked under his weight as he crawled across it and Alex was only able to prepare himself for the weight to be draped over his back because he was used to Michael being clingy. Just… in private.

“Hey, you okay?” Michael asked after he was quiet for a second too long.

“Yeah,” Alex breathed, “I’m fine. Just never proudly stated I was into guys in front of that many people before.”

“Oh,” Michael said, pressing against his back just a little more, “Good feeling or bad feeling?”

Alex didn’t answer quickly enough.

“Alex, if you want to go home, then‒”

“No, this is good. I feel good. Just overwhelmed,” he explained. It wasn’t a lie.

“Okay, fair enough,” Michael said, kissing his temple before throwing himself backwards onto the bed, “I swear, it feels better after the overwhelming feeling goes away. None of them are gonna say shit to you either.”

Alex nodded and laid back on the bed beside him, looking over at him. They had to get ready for one of their informal discussions and dinner, but it sounded like a good idea to just lay there for a moment. The longer they laid there, the more he was able to realize this wasn’t going to be too bad. In fact, he was going to have fun with it.

In an actual relationship, he wouldn’t want to show a lot of PDA or be super touchy. But this wasn’t an actual relationship. He could just be a little extreme for the fun of it. He was going to school to perform. Why not try his hand at acting?

Bonus points if Michael got flustered.

“Okay, I’m good,” Alex said. Michael turned his head and they locked eyes, a smile on his face.

“Good,” Michael said, shifting onto his side, “But if you start feeling overwhelmed again, you can just squeeze my hand. We’re boyfriends for the weekend, so it doesn’t matter if they think it’s gay.”

Alex huffed a laugh, turning onto his side as well.

“Do they actually know you’re bisexual or is this like your coming out and you’re just letting them think what they want?” Alex wondered, “I saw a couple of shocked faces.”

“Some people know, mainly the people I talk to every day, but I don’t try to hide it. I think most of them thought I was straight until Callie was showing Emily some picture of a hot guy and I said I wanted to see,” Michael said, grinning in that way that told Alex he’d done it purposefully to get a shock out of some people.

“Oh yeah, how’d that go?”

“No one really said much, the girls laughed. Khalil breathed like a sigh of relief because they thought they were the only queer person working there,” Michael said, scooting closer, “I think there’s probably a couple more somewhere are the office. It’s a big place, there’s gotta be.”

“Mm, but we’re gonna be basically the only same-sex couple this weekend, right? I didn’t see anyone else while we were down there,” Alex pointed out. Michael nodded.

“Yeah, sorry. But only for a couple of days! It’s already Friday afternoon and we’re leaving Sunday afternoon, it’ll be fine. Plus, you got me,” Michael said, reaching out to poke Alex in the side, “I’ll make it worthwhile.”

Alex found himself smiling just a little.

“Yeah, I know you will.”

They both eventually got up and got dressed. Alex broke out the turtleneck and some relatively tight black slacks, drawing on fresh eyeliner. He pulled as much of his hair back as he could into a small low ponytail and deliberately made his bangs and everything hanging down a little intentionally messy.

This was a performance and he was going to sell it easily.

When he came out of their bathroom and into the main room, he saw Michael was in a pair of chinos and a maroon button-up that he was sure Isobel had gotten for him. He was just fastening his belt when Alex made a show of leaning against the doorframe as he whistled low.

“Well, well, well, don’t you look good,” Alex said. Michael looked up at him with a shit-eating grin, hands fumbling as he tried to tuck the end of the belt into his belt loops.

“I bet I smell better, Isobel got me fancy cologne,” he said. Alex huffed a laugh.

“Yeah, I can smell it, it’s nice,” he said, pushing off the door frame and walking closer, “You wearing real shoes, or am I going to have to publicly break up with you for wearing cowboy boots?”

Michael rolled his eyes and reached out to grab Alex by the waistband of his pants, tugging him in. Alex’s eyes went wide as he laughed at the forwardness.

“I’m wearing shoes, the fancy ones that are pointed at the end and click when you walk,” Michael said. Alex grinned and put the back of his hand to his forehead.

“I’m swooning.”

“You should.”

Michael let him go and went to go slip on his shoes while Alex went to his combat boots‒much more situation-appropriate than cowboy boots and he would stick by that. They gave each other another once over of approval before leaving their room.

“Those boots make your ass look great,” Michael said as they headed towards the elevator. Alex’s eyebrows shot up and he looked over his shoulder. Michael flashed an innocent smile. “What? You’re my boyfriend, I can look at your ass, right?”

“If I can look at yours, boyfriend.”

“I’m begging,” Michael said warmly as they stepped into the elevator. Alex shook his head and pressed the ground floor.

Because, of course, this was what it would be like to be with Michael. Flirting, banter, touching. No wonder he had so many people wanting to be with him. Hell, Alex got a decent taste of it and they didn’t even like each other like that. Though, it definitely helped him understand where all of Liz’s concerns came from.

“You really are feeling better, right? Like, don’t let me do anything you’re not comfortable with. I’ll try not to, but, you know, slap me if I do,” Michael insisted before the elevator doors could open, sincerity dripping from his tone.

Alex held out his hand as the doors opened.

“I’m fine.”

Alex was able to make that statement even more true as they started socializing and he managed to snag a flute of champagne. It tasted expensive, just like the shit he and Kyle would sneak at their parents’ parties. It was easier to loosen up when pretending that’s what this was.

“Michael, Alex!” Curtis called as he neared, a big smile on his face and a gorgeous woman on his arm.

Curtis was the CEO of Disionic, a company that specialized in doing work for other companies’ prototypes. Companies of all sorts would use Disionic to outsource their new and fancy inventions for all sorts of different things, from engine-powered toys to ad blocking apps to literal blenders, as a way to test run them and get credible feedback from engineers and usually would employ them to fix any mistakes that were made. Michael loved it, it was a constant stream of new things and it made big money.

The fact that he made a point to know all the interns' names was simply a plus.

“You two look like the perfect pair,” he said, looking between the two of them with a warm smile. Alex raised his eyebrows at Michael and offered a smile.

“Thank you, Mr. Iverson,” Michael said, nodding to the woman on his arm, “Mrs. Iverson.”

“Call me Jeannie,” Mrs. Iverson said, holding out a hand. Michael shook it firmly and Alex did the same. “So, I’ve heard about Michael, the agricultural and mechanical double major from Berkeley, but I haven’t heard about you. What do you do, Alex?”

Alex felt Michael take a deep breath, a silent ‘oh God, am I good enough that he told his wife about me?’ and he tightened his hold around his waist. Alex gave his award-winning polite smile that did wonders when he took etiquette classes back when his father thought dressing him up in a suit around other boys in suits to learn about how to act right would make him less likely to be a raging homosexual.

“I actually go to SFSU for right now,” Alex said, “Music major.”

“Oh!” she said, and Alex had already predicted her words before she said them because it’s what people always said, “That’s cute!”

“Mm,” Alex hummed, taking another sip of his champagne, “My major is piano education, but I also take vocal classes as more of a minor.”

“Oh, good, you’ll be able to do a lot with that. And it’s not that far from Michael’s school,” she said. He nodded, looking towards Michael.

“Yeah, we live somewhere in the middle,” he said.

“That’s good that he’s with someone who’s also focused, it’s a good environment to be in for a boy his age with his promise,” Curtis insisted. Michael went a little weak in his grasp and Alex didn’t have to be a genius to know it had everything to do with a grown man caring about his promise.

“I think so too.”

After moving on from Curtis, Michael was able to regain his legs and his brain and Alex didn’t have to carry too much of the weight‒literally and figuratively. They sat and had dinner, all paid for by the company, and then got back to socializing. It was honestly a bit draining, but Alex kept reminding himself it was just for the weekend and it was for Michael and also that most of the people there were winging it just as much as Michael.

“So, how did you two get together? I know Michael said you were roommates before things got started, so that must’ve been a risky move,” Alisha‒Michael’s coworker’s wife of two months who wouldn’t let either of them forget how sad it was that they couldn’t make it to the wedding as if they’d known either of them long enough to be invited in the first place‒asked. She was kind and all, but she asked a lot of questions. Alex was waiting for her to ask something that was too invasive to even justify a polite answer.

Honestly, some of them already felt too invasive, but Alex knew that was probably him just being touchy.

“Oh, I just got up the courage to ask him out one day and hoped it wouldn’t be weird. I mean, look at his face. It was impossible not to catch feelings,” Michael said. Alex rolled his eyes and leaned into his side, playing it up to the best of his ability. It helped that the champagne he’d been sipping on had made him a little more comfortable.

“Stop it.”

“I’m serious! I couldn’t help myself. I just wanted a chance to look at the stars with you and know you were mine,” Michael cooed, pressing his nose into Alex’s cheek and nuzzling just a little. Alex’s ears were ringing a bit as he turned his head to look at him up close. They locked eyes for a moment too long before Michael cleared his throat and looked back to Alisha. “So, yeah, couldn’t pass up the opportunity.”

“How cute, I wish straight men were that romantic,” she cooed, just tone-deaf enough to level Alex’s thoughts, “Have you talked about marriage? I’d love to come to the wedding, it’d be so fun.”

“Not really, yet,” Alex said, pinching Michael’s hip just enough to make him jump, “But I figure one day I’ll get him on one knee.”

“What, you won’t propose to me?” Michael said, trying to put but failing through his smile. Alex cupped his ear in his hand, running his thumb gently along the curve of it. If Michael’s eyes drifted to his lips, well, Alex pretended he didn’t notice.

“Maybe I just like seeing you on your knees,” Alex said. Michael’s eyes widened.

“Oh, dear, I feel like I’m intruding,” Alisha giggled and Alex blinked out of it.

“Sorry,” he said, “Just teasing.”

“I totally get it! Me and my Tom get like that all the time.”

“Speaking of your Tom,” Tom said, sidling up beside her and looping his arm around her waist. She smiled up at him. “Emily wanted to see your ring.”

“Oh! Okay, see you later, guys! I had fun talking to you,” Alisha said, waving as she let herself be tugged off to wherever Emily and her boyfriend were.

Alex let out a breath of relief and raised his glass to his lips. Mid-sip, Michael leaned in close to his ear, lips nearly pressed against his skin. Alex focused on his drink.

“You’re gonna do something stupid like make me fall in love with you,” he breathed, leaving a kiss on his cheek before he pulled back.

“Ah, a tragic mistake many men have made,” Alex said playfully. Michael beamed at him.

“Seriously, you’re amazing, Alex. I’m so glad I brought you. You even managed to make Alisha bearable,” Michael said. Alex laughed and looked over to where Alisha was proudly showing off her ring.

“She’s not that bad.”

“You haven’t met her as many times as I have,” Michael huffed, “I was terrified when I saw her comin’ this way. She means well, but, you know.”

“The straights just aren’t as romantic, Michael, don’t you know?” he said. Michael laughed and squeezed his hip. “But are you good? You’re starting to look a little drained.”

“I’m gonna start lookin’ for a way out so we can go upstairs. My people tolerance is dropping,” Michael confessed. Alex nodded.

“Well, you’re doing really well. I almost didn’t notice.”

“Hopefully no one else will.”

“No one else knows you like I do, so I’m assuming you’re good.”

Michael tilted his head, that little smirk on his lips as he said, “You know me so well, huh?”

“I do live with you,” Alex pointed out. Michael nodded and his eyes went to the flute of champagne in his hand.

“How many of those have you had?” he asked. Alex shrugged, swirled it around a bit before downing the rest.

“Three, maybe four. Yeah, four, one before dinner, one during, two since,” Alex explained. Michael nodded.

“Feelin’ good?” he asked. Alex hummed and nodded, looking over Michael’s face easily. “I’m not a champagne man.”

“Neither am I, but this shit is too expensive not to drink.”

Michael laughed, “Guess I’ll have to taste it.”

“You will.”

Alex’s eyes drifted to his lips, not for the first time. He started wondering what he actually looked like on his knees. Then he shook that thought right out of his head.

“I’m tired,” Alex said, maybe a bit louder so other people would hear. Michael grinned.

“Okay, let’s make our rounds in saying goodnight.”

They said goodnight to Michael’s coworkers that they passed on their way to say goodnight specifically to Curtis and Jeannie. It was an absurd amount of small talk, very ‘oh, yeah, we were up early, Alex had class’ and ‘it’s a long day, want to be fresh in the morning!’ and ‘you know how it is, can’t wait to get this one alone, haha!’ It was all tragically boring and as he got closer to when he’d be free of it, Alex began to itch to get back to their room.

By the time they said goodnight to Curtis and his wife, they were basically speed walking to the elevator. Once the doors closed, Michael tugged Alex into a hug, burying his face into his neck and Alex giggled, feeling light as he draped his arms around his neck. Michael lifted him off the ground for a moment, until the doors slid open.

They made it back to their room and Alex didn’t have a moment to process anything before the door closed and Michael was closing in on him. He grabbed his face in between his hands, staring at him with the biggest smile. Alex was probably a little too drunk for this.

“You are so fucking good at this, I could kiss you. The flirting, the touching, the lines? Alex! You’re a genius, a pure genius. I knew they’d like you, but they like like you. You are so good, Alex Manes,” he gushed, peppering kisses to his forehead and his nose and his cheeks. By the time he pulled away, Alex’s face was on fire and he was smiling so wide it hurt.

“I’m just selling it,” Alex said.

“And you are doing a damn good job. I should date you more often,” Michael said. Alex nodded lamely and Michael laughed, grabbing his hand and pulling it to his mouth. He pressed a kiss to the back of it. “I am going to go take a shower, boyfriend. You start trying to sleep off that champagne, okay?”

“Okay.”

Michael dropped his hand and turned, stepping out of his shoes on the way to the bathroom. Alex let out a breathy laugh and sat on the edge of the bed. He slowly pulled his hair down and pulled off his boots, taking a deep breath. He licked his lips and turned his head to the bathroom door, head swimming with too many thoughts as the water kicked on.

Alex changed out of his shirt and his pants into sweats and a t-shirt, climbing into bed without much thought. He tried not to think, at least. He closed his eyes and tried to lull himself to sleep.

But, when the bathroom door opened, he couldn’t help himself.

Alex peeked over the edge of the blanket and watched as Michael, dripping wet with just a towel around his waist, searched for his clothes with nothing but the bathroom light to guide him. He was gorgeous and overwhelmingly… Michael. Alex couldn’t remember the last time he wanted something so bad as he wanted to touch Michael at that moment.

At the thought, he pulled the blanket over his head, his eyes going wide.

Oh.

Oh no.

#malexcupid21 #malex #malex fic #michael guerin #alex manes #roswell new mexico #my fic #i meant to post this earlier but I just got home whoops #verse: pretty little picture

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wordsablaze · 3 years

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16~ i’ll be here like you were

tell me your problems (i’ll chase them away) Internal scars can be difficult to deal with but Eskel vows to heal any that Jaskier is weighed down by if it’s the last thing he does…

A/N: it seems june is way too warm for angst so we get even more softness instead...

previous chapter

@random-nerd-3 @betaray-jones @w-s-kibela @in-love-with-writing002 @screaming-flapjacks @havenoffandoms @lasaga666 @mayastormborn @alllthequeenshorses @little-piece-of-tamlin @selectivegeekwithstandards

It’s not that Eskel had been struggling to maintain their seated positions or anything, it’s just that after Jaskier’s head had fallen into his lap for the second time, he’d decided that moving to the bed was a better idea.

And he’s right, because Jaskier wakes up with a yawn and a very confused noise, followed immediately by a quiet but hopeful, “Why isn’t my neck all stiff?”

“That would be because I moved you,” Eskel replies softly, but not softly enough to avoid Jaskier’s breath hitching as he realises his pillow is in fact a witcher.

Eskel expects the hitch in his breathing to be followed by him springing to his feet or something but Jaskier only yawns again and lets his head flop back down even as he stretches his limbs a little. “How very considerate of you, darling, thank you.”

There is a very very small part of Eskel’s mind that wonders why Jaskier hadn’t called him his darling as opposed to just generally a darling, but that small part is quickly squashed down by the rest of his intelligence reminding him that he really ought not to base his standing with the bard on something as trivial as groggy mumbling.

“Wait, why are you still in bed?” Jaskier asks after a moment.

“I didn’t want to wake you,” Eskel replies honestly.

“But you’re a witcher…”

When Jaskier says nothing more on the matter, Eskel frowns. He runs a hand through Jaskier’s hair - only to push it out of his eyes, of course - before nodding as best as he can whilst lying down. “I wouldn’t want to disturb you even if I were a goat,” he says.

Jaskier snorts, then pulls himself right and tilts his head to the right. “A goat? I can’t say I have much experience with goats but aren’t they more of a violent species?”

“And witchers aren’t?” Eskel asks, raising an eyebrow as he too sits up.

Waving a hand dismissively, Jaskier shrugs. “No more than necessary, of course. It wouldn’t do for a witcher to be incapable of violence, after all, whatever would I sing about in taverns then?”

Eskel hums in agreement but he’s pretty sure Jaskier could sing about something as mundane as apples and still captivate an audience. Speaking of, Jaskier seems to actually realise he’s awake as soon as he mentions singing and is on his feet before Eskel can decide whether or not to voice his thoughts. Ah well, maybe next time.

Turns out watching Jaskier stumble around and assemble himself is just as amusing every time he does it. It’s honestly also a little impressive how quickly he can go from sleepy and only vaguely coherent to more or less professional and composed.

“Well, are you coming?” Jaskier asks once he’s ready and dressed.

Eskel blinks. “Where?”

Jaskier smirks and opens his mouth, pauses, then closes it again. He clears his throat as he gestures towards somewhere through the window. “To the tavern?”

He shakes his head. “I should go check on Scorpion, maybe next time.”

“Of course! Scorpion, right, of course, your noble steed. I’ll just, uh- I mean, alright,” Jaskier replies, waving a goodbye before leaving with his lute in hand.

Eskel only briefly dwells on the feeling that he’s done something wrong before also getting ready, finding himself in the stables and being headbutted by Scorpion before he knows it. He looks around to make sure he’s alone before saying anything just to avoid the air being filled with ash and disappointment again. “Hey, girl. You’ve probably been worried, right? Well, it turns out the bard is more skilled than I’d assumed. But you probably knew that since you both got me back together, huh?”

He narrowly avoids having his foot stepped on.

“What was that for?” he asks incredulously. Scorpion just huffs at him. Then bites at his pockets, which is odd because he didn't actually remember to put any- oh.

“I guess you really won him over,” Eskel says as he offers her the sugarcubes, but now he’s torn between making sure she doesn’t bite his fingers and wondering how Jaskier knew to put treats in his pocket, not to mention how he did so without him noticing.

It’s not difficult to assume that’s a habit creeping in from all the time he’s spent with Geralt; Roach is one of if not the most spoiled horse on the continent. But it is difficult to decide whether he should ask Jaskier about it, whether it would be accepted gratitude or just another painful reminder. In the end, Scorpion finishes her snack before he’s decided, which is a little annoying because he’s usually not so indecisive about anything. Well, Jaskier is hardly just anything so that almost makes sense, but still.

“That’s my epic tale, our champion prevailed. Defeated the villain, now pour him some ale...”

Eskel frowns as he walks into the tavern, immediately looking for Jaskier to see if he’s alright. And surprisingly, he is. Not that Eskel would rather he wasn’t - and in fact he’s very relieved that singing about Posada isn’t causing any problems - but he has no idea how Jaskier suddenly seems more willing to accept that request. Gods, bards are confusing.

“Toss a coin to your witcher, oh valley of plenty!”

And someone does.

Eskel blinks at the little hand dropping a coin onto the table, the little hand that’s attached to a young girl who’s beaming up at him as if he’s saved her entire family or something. “You’re not my witcher but I wanted to give you a coin anyway,” she says loudly.

“Uh, thank you,” Eskel mutters, careful to keep his face angled just enough that he doesn’t scare her away and ruin her smile.

Not that he should have worried, because she very casually frowns at him, picks the coin back up, and pokes his leg. “Do you not like coins?”

He shrugs but politely holds his hand out, letting her firmly place the coin into it and offering her the best smile he can manage because he doesn’t really know why she hasn’t run off to her parents yet. “I do, it’s lovely. Thank you again.”

“Was the monster really scary?” she whisper-asks as she leans forward, her eyes wide and curious.

Eskel knows the women on the table behind him are listening in, he can smell that they’re suspicious of him, but they make no move to interfere so he just shrugs and leans forward too. “It was mostly just ugly,” he whispers.

The girl giggles and rocks back on her heels, shaking her head at him. “Like Uncle Luka?”

“Probably not, unless your Uncle Luka has green skin.”

The girl’s eyes widen again. She pauses as if she genuinely thinks her uncle might have green skin and then shakes her head. “No, he’s just the normal ugly. What kind of green was the monster’s skin?”

He genuinely has no idea how to answer that in a way she’ll easily understand. And thankfully, he doesn’t have to. “The kind of green you see after it’s been raining a lot and all the grass has been squashed into the bottom of a really big puddle,” Jaskier says, kneeling in front of the girl with a soft smile.

“Eww!” she laughs, turning her attention away from Eskel and towards Jaskier, who spares a moment to smile at him before producing a flower from nowhere and holding it up in front of the girl’s nose so she has to go cross-eyed to look at it, laughing harder as she does.

“A daisy for Daisy,” Jaskier whispers, winking at her.

The girl - called Daisy, apparently - all but snatches the flower, then turns on her heel and waves at him. “You can give the coin to your bard if you don’t like it, by the way. Mama says you should give things you don’t like to people who do like them so everyone’s happy.”

Jaskier snorts as she finally leaves and jumps up into someone’s lap a few tables away, but there’s a redness blooming across his cheeks as he slides onto the seat opposite Eskel. And Eskel’s not sure about his own face but he’s pretty sure he looks just as startled because he genuinely had not considered that being called Jaskier’s witcher would lead to Jaskier being called his bard.

“You don’t have to be,” Eskel blurts.

Jasker raises an eyebrow at him. “Be what, darling?”

“My bard.”

Apparently, the sour scent of worry and doubt never gets any easier to deal with. Eskel’s already lost any appetite he may have had by the time Jaskier remembers how to breathe and some of the sourness fizzles away from the air between them, just enough so that it’s not quite overwhelming.

“You don’t like that?” Jaskier asks slowly.

“No, I-” Eskel pauses, confused. “I thought you wouldn’t like it.”

Jaskier blinks at him. Twice. Then he sighs and lets go of his lute, placing it down beside him. “Don’t go anywhere, I need a drink before we have this conversation.”

Well, that sounds terrifying.

His only comfort while he waits for Jaskier to return is that he smells softer and warmer again, which can only mean they’re about to have a useful conversation instead of some kind of argument. Still, his muscles don’t relax until Jaskier places a drink in front of him and smiles, not quite sadly but not exactly happily either - it’s confusing but it’s a nice smile nonetheless.

“I believe you’re under the mistaken assumption that being my witcher is an unrequited belonging?” Jaskier asks eventually, leaning an elbow on the table and resting his chin on his palm.

Eskel shrugs. “Like I said, you’re free to leave whenever you wish.”

Jaskier laughs quietly, his head tilting a little to the right. “And what makes you think there’s anywhere else I’d rather be than by your very handsome side?”

“I just don’t want- I mean, I would hate to quell the adventures you seek,” Eskel admits.

There’s a moment of silence before Jaskier reaches across the table and curls his fingers in a grabbing motion until Eskel frowns and offers him his hand, which he immediately takes and gently squeezes. “Eskel, my darling, you are walking along a very dangerous path somewhere between painfully considerate and painfully foolish. And I should know, for I’ve been told I’m an expert at the latter.”

Eskel laughs before he can think about it and judging by the look in Jaskier’s eyes, that was probably his intention. “You’re not doing too bad right now,” he replies.

Jaskier shrugs. “I might not have lived as long as you but even I’ve been around long enough to learn when I’m overstaying my welcome.” Before Eskel can ask anything about that, Jaskier clears his throat and continues, “Let me explain this another way: name a tale of mine that you particularly enjoy?”

A little blindsided by the question, it takes Eskel a moment to think of what to say. But it’s not a difficult choice; there’s one ballad about a warrior who’d been entrapped by a wraith for days until his beloved had arrived to remind him what he’d miss out on if he succumbed to someone else’s misery that had been stuck in his head for almost an entire year. “The knight in the tower,” he answers.

“Interesting choice,” Jaskier tells him in a way that implies he’s made the right choice, then leans even closer, lowering his voice. “I’m going to let you in on a very small and privileged secret now: I based that entire story on Geralt accidentally locking himself in the wrong stable overnight one time.”

Eskel blinks. Then bursts out laughing. He bites down his amusement as quickly as possible but not before he sets Jaskier off, and it takes several minutes for the bard to stop laughing. Once he has, he grins widely, squeezing Eskel’s hand again. “Do you understand me now? I’m not in desperate need of the adventures you imagine me to be, I only require the slightest of inspiration and I can assure you that your company is more than enough.”

He thinks he does understand, but he also has another pressing concern: “So the knight’s beloved was actually…?”

Jaskier smirks and nods. “Roach.”

Melitele help him, he’s unfamiliar with this pleasant ache of amusement and he’s not sure how he’s lived without it for so long. As soon as they’ve both recovered from laughing, he squeezes Jaskier’s hand back. “I would be honoured if you were to… if you were to be my bard.”

“Luckily for you, then, everyone here already seems to believe I am. And I have no interest in disagreeing with them,” Jaskier says, his voice barely above a whisper.

“And everywhere else?” Eskel asks, just wanting, needing to check he’s understanding this right and not just wishfully extrapolating.

Jaskier shrugs. “I’m a bard , Eskel. I can guarantee you my songs will travel faster than we can and our reputation will precede us wherever we go.”

Eskel chuckles. “You’re placing a lot of faith in your songs, bardling.”

“Wouldn’t you, if you were me?” Jaskier asks, raising his eyebrows, and when he considers the dramatic tale of the wraith that had apparently been built upon nothing but an embarrassing story, Eskel decides he has no reason to argue. Besides, confidence is a good look on practically anyone and Jaskier is no exception so it'd just be rude of him to ruin that for the sake of it.

“Perhaps,” Eskel finally replies with a shrug, but he’s certain the smile that won’t leave his face gives him away. Not that he minds, if he’s honest, because it’s only logical for his bard to be the one who reads between his lines. And oh, what a scarily beautiful notion that is.

yes i used a random child to prompt character development, cliché is my middle name ;)

thanks for reading! masterlist | witcher sideblog: @itsjaskier | next chapter

#jaskel #jaskel fanfic #jaskier #eskel #jaskier x eskel #the witcher #fanfiction #slow burn #idiots in love #soft eskel #soft jaskier #they are slowly but surely getting there #we've reached 40k and they're only just getting somewhere #this would be a very slow paced novel oops #good thing it's a fanfic and i make the rules ;)#fluff #my writing #tmypicta

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ais-for-alex · 3 years

Text

The Scars of Our Past: Chapters 4 and 5

Alrighty, so chapter 4 is kinda short so I’m doing these two together. Hope y’all enjoy =)

Chapter 4:

This isn’t weird, this isn’t weird. Logan told himself as he climbed the stairs leading to the upper levels of the stadium. I am a professional athlete, this is my workplace, I have every right to be here. Quietly he settled into one of the hard plastic seats and slid down just a bit in hopes that no one would see him skulking up there. Logan glanced down at the phone in his hand, it was the same time he had run to the rink the day before, his heart seemed to beat a little quicker at the memory.

“Lo?” suddenly Logan’s heart was racing for a completely different reason as he looked up to meet Finn's big brown eyes where he stood on the steps next to him, “What are you doing up here?”

Logan drew in a sharp breath, “Um… I-“ he glanced down at the ice then back up at Finn's questioning look, “I wanted to see the stadium from up high, you know see the rink the way the fans do. Wait, what are you doing here Harz?” Logan asked, turning the question back in an attempt to deflect from his own shaky answer.

“Oh, well…” Finn stammered, “Same as you. Wanted to see things from a new angle.” With that, he flopped into the plastic seat next to Logan’s own, grimacing slightly at the hardness. Logan scoffed a bit at that but chose not to respond, instead, he let his body fall forward, elbows braced on his knees as he peered down to the blinding white ice.

Only a moment later, a figure began gliding forward, the two of them were too far up for Logan to make out the man’s facial features but he could still very clearly make out his height and the mop of blond curls on his head. For just a moment he paused there, in center ice, then he seemed to take a deep breath exhaling slowly before he finally began.

“Fish,” Logan couldn’t help but gasp watching the way his body moved.

“I see. I see him Lo,” Finn said a bit breathlessly, his voice taking on that deep timbre Logan so rarely heard. He felt Finn's hand slide over the curve of his back, palm settling warm on his neck as their eyes followed the man sailing around the rink.

Logan felt hypnotized by his movements. He couldn’t look away. He didn’t want to look away. No, he wanted this man in his arms. He wanted to feel the strength of the muscles he was using to fly, under his palms under his fingertips. He wanted to feel heat flushed skin pressed against his own. God, Logan wanted it.

And that scared him.

Logan sucked in a sharp breath and tore his eyes away, he stood up abruptly causing Finn's hand to fall from his neck.

Finn. Logan wanted him too. He wanted so much, for so long. But he couldn’t have it.

“We should go,” he said quietly, avoiding looking down at Finn’s questioning eyes, “we aren’t supposed to be here anyway.”

“But-“ Finn started his eyes darting back and forth between the man on the rink and Logan.

“You know what, you stay. Watch,” he nodded down at the rink, “I’m- I’m just gonna go.”

Logan didn’t look back as he walked away. He couldn’t. Because he knew Finn had that look in his eyes, it was always there when he walked away. And Logan knew that look, he recognized it as the same one that had settled into his own eyes when Finn had left him all those years ago. He recognized the loneliness, the abandonment, the love. But Logan desperately hoped that maybe if he walked away one more time, it would finally break this thing between them, and he would never have to see that look on Finn's face again.

Chapter 5:

You’re doing it for a friend. That’s it. You didn’t ask to go.

That’s what Leo told himself while pulling on a clean pair of jeans and a cozy sweater, waiting for Fabian's text. Somehow his rationalizations did little to quell the anxious squirming in his stomach. It had been so long since the last time he had been to a game, since he had even dared to watch one. For over two years, Leo had completely cut the sport and all of its reminders out of his life; it hurt too much to watch and remember. Remember everything he lost when- no!

Leo shook his head and pushed away the memories threatening to creep back to the forefront of his mind. Just then, he felt his phone buzz and looked down to see Fabian’s message, grabbing his jacket on the way out Leo quickly slid into the backseat of his friends’ car.

“Hey Fab, Benji; nice to see ya again,” Leo greeted, buckling his seatbelt as Fabian's boyfriend pulled the car back onto the road. Leo had met Benji a couple of times in passing, whenever he came to pick Fabian up from practice. The man was quiet, preferring to simply nod in acknowledgment rather than speak, but he seemed kind and stable and he perfectly balanced Fabians flair for dramatics.

The drive to the rink was quick and before he knew it Leo was sitting a couple of rows back from the glass, surrounded by the loud raucous crowd. It was overwhelming, noise and bodies pressing in around him on every side.

Leo could feel his heart rate picking up. Feel his hands begin to tremble. Feel his breath catch on each inhale as he remembered; remembered the last time he had seen this scene, he had been on the ice then. Each time he blinked he could see it, could feel it. The sure way his skate blades dug into the ice marking up his crease soothing away the nerves. The infectious joy and excitement that radiated off his teammates as they warmed up- no!

Leo gasped a breath, don’t you dare think about that night right now. Something else, find something else. Anything else. Leo looked around almost desperately for something to ground himself when finally his eyes landed on the ice. Smooth, and clean, and white. He wished he was on it. He wished he was spinning; letting the color, and the noise, and the memories bleed into a blur of nothing and everything all at once.

Suddenly, the white ice he had focused on was obstructed by a pair of skates as one of the players came to a quick stop as he warmed up. Leo let his eyes trail up as the person stood there shifting his weight from skate to skate until his eyes landed on the name on his bright red jersey; Tremblay. Leo felt a breath fall past his lips as the memory of those beautiful emerald eyes filled his mind, the soft plush lips that had twisted into a smile when he skated closer. He couldn’t look away. Leo barely dared to blink, too scared that he would lose sight of Logan as he ran his warm-up drills. Timing his breathing to the steady rhythm of Logan’s skates, Leo felt the rest of the audience melt away... at least until there was suddenly a plastic cup of foamy amber liquid in front of his face.

“As promised,” Fabian slid onto the plastic seat next to Leo, “Ooo, who ya watching?” he asked in a faux scandalized voice.

Leo blinked and took the beer he was handed, “Ah, thanks, and no one,” he said, quickly finding Logan again amongst the other players.

“Hmm, number ten is it?” he asked, having followed Leo’s line of sight before bumping his shoulder, “good choice. Maybe a bit burlier than I thought you would go for but…”

As he was speaking, Logan skated over to another player and nearly tackled him in an attempt to smack him on his helmet. Leo’s breath hitched as he caught sight of the name; O’Hara.

“Oh, maybe seventeen instead? Another good choice.”

Leo chose to ignore his friend's comment in favor of letting his eyes track Finn as he laughed and pushed back at Logan playfully. Finn was skating around the rink when his attention was caught by some kids waving signs and banging on the glass a few rows in front of where Leo was sitting. A tiny smile formed on Leo's face as he watched Finn toss a couple pucks over the glass, the man bumped his fist to the glass and was about to skate away when he glanced up. Suddenly, his big brown eyes landed on Leo; and the smile that took over his face was so bright Leo had to blink at the sight of it. Finn waved hugely at him before turning to shout over his shoulder and within the next moment, Logan came to a hard stop right next to him. Finn leaned down to say something that made Logan look up at the crowd and lock eyes with Leo. Logan’s grin was breathtaking and Leo felt a flush begin to creep up his neck as they both waved at him again.

Leo let out a light chuckle and gave back a timid wave just before the two of them were called back to finish warm-ups.

“Do you know them?” Fabian asked, leaning closer to be heard in the loud stadium, “Have you been holding out on me? If anything saucy happened, I demand details,” he laughed and nudged Leo.

“No I don’t, and no nothing saucy happened.”

“Really? They seemed to know you.”

Leo rolled his eyes, “They happened to walk in on my practice the other day. We barely exchanged ten words before Madam Maxine showed up.”

“Well, you must have made quite the impression,” Fabian laughed before turning to say something to his boyfriend.

It’s not me that made an impression, Leo thought to himself as their faces flashed behind his eyelids. God, pull it together, it’s not like you even know these people. In all honesty, Leo had no idea why these two men seemed to have wiggled their way so thoroughly into his thoughts, he didn’t know them, they barely even had a conversation. But for some reason Leo felt a pull towards them in the pit of his stomach like an invisible string had leashed him to these strangers before he had a chance to stop it.

Leo felt himself relax just a bit watching Finn and Logan, his anxiety quelled as they played. Something about it was intoxicating, watching the way they moved so sure on the ice, the smooth way they transitioned on and off the bench, Leo felt like he could watch them forever.

Read on AO3

Chapter 3 Chapter 6

#leo knut #finn o'hara #logan tremblay #o'knutzy #lumosinlove #Sweater Weather #Coast To Coast #writing #The Scars of Our Past #hockey #figure skating

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thejudgingtrash · 4 years

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I wanna hear the Dom/sub discourse!!! Also love ur blog :) (I personally am a proponent of dom percy just bc I like that idea but I’d love to hear yours!!! I didnt even know there was discourse!) love to hear your thoughts and again super cool blog!!!! :’)

* ALSO WOULD LIKE TO CLARIFY IF IT WASNT ALREADY ESTABLISHED BUT ONLLLLLLY IF THEY ARE LIKE IN THEIR OLDER 20S!!!! ppl doing that in the context of teens is *gross* (previous anon who sent in the ask before) :)

Oh! Thank you for the compliments. I’m still not used at being so visible now to people 🥺😥😅

Good that you’ve added your points because that essentially brings down my issues with this whole spiel. I guess I’m going to play the other card. My main issues with this whole thing are:

A) the fandom sexualizing kids

B) people not understanding that looks/behavior in or outside of a (romantic) relationship don’t necessarily have to correlate with sexual behavior, especially when powerplay is involved

Of course Percy is easier to grasp for us. We have five whole books where we hear his every thought, follow his every move and think we get to know him (that automatically makes Percy not a reliable narrator, just saying).

For every book quote that puts Percy into the „Dom“ slot, there’s also a book quote that would be fitting for Annabeth (the dance from TTC comes to my mind). I can see both going either way. Despite them having mostly different personalities (Percy internalizing his thoughts and motives, whereas Annabeth is doing rather the opposite), they are very similar when it comes to leadership and end goals. Annabeth can range from emotional to bossy in a similar way Percy does. They just express themselves on different levels and get seen by outsiders in different ways.

Did you catch that? Did you see the hypocrisy that I just committed? We are using book quotes to justify placing characters that are in that context and in overall canon minors/teens/essentially fucking children in sexualized categories. Tbh, as much flag as you can give Riordan, I can’t blame him for blocking people who do this. Not every author is a fan of fanfiction and fan theory and what not.

People throwing these BSDM terms around without a second thought makes me cringe (tbh, I’m too lazy to explain the psychology of power play and kinks in that regard, just know that the instigator is not automatically the top/dom and there are many, many, many layers in a pp relationship). You cannot base sexual behavior from the canon itself. We know nothing about Percy and Annabeth in that regard to even justify the slightest. Ripping actions out of context to give them a label doesn’t work like that so easily unfortunately.

The only way to settle this question for once and all would be by simply doing this:

The whole debate that happened months/weeks ago (quarantine makes everything blurry in my memory) was just fucking stupid?

Imagine being a 15 year old, anxious, frightened girl. You’ve been deeply traumatized since you’ve been seven years old, you’re scared to death because you have a crush on your best friend and think he might perish (newsflash: of course you as the reader can foreshadow that in that context the series goes on. The characters can’t as they lack that specific insight. Percy didn’t have to wind up dead in the books, but he could have been severely mutilated, gone missing (guess he did later), bruised, etc. apart from his mental struggles. The super power part is essentially the only thing that’s keeping him alive), you give him a kiss because you’re too shy to admit your feelings for him and he’s being an awkward cheeky bastard before looking for a fight and then some adult asshole has the caucasity of calling you a bratty sub. Literally what.

Some anon (or a group of anons, don’t know which) contacted a bunch of people with that Dom!Percy and Sub!Annabeth stuff. Anon, Liebste, homegirl, my love, mija, if you see this please slide into the DMs because whaddefuck? Your thought process hotdamn. Where did you pick this up? Let’s be open about this discussion. You didn’t go from A to B, you went from A to Z and robbed Jeff Bezos on the way out. I mean what???

People using canon to justify their headcanons is simply something I can’t get behind in this matter. The main issues is that they are children/teens/minors in canon. There is no way around it. Trying to justify/back up some of your thoughts in that regard with actual quotes only makes it worse because you aren’t only sexualizing them in your fanon, but you are also automatically transferring these thoughts to the actual books and thus fore sexualizing them in canon. You’re changing the basis and narrative.

I honestly don’t get the obsession that some have with their teenage sex life? This isn’t a personal attack on people but I’ve seen this throughout several group chats and social media platforms like Twitter, Reddit, Pinterest even and of course Tumblr. And popular stuff like Riverdale, Euphoria, 13 Reasons Why and New Adult Twilight rip-offs á la Shades of Grey and that Harry Styles fanfic honestly don’t help with the portrayal of „curious“ teens.

This also isn’t a strict PJO phenomenon, it happens across all fandoms. The odd trend with sexualizing kids/teens or things intended for kids has been going on for ages. I get it, you grow out of the related audience but that doesn’t justify the means? Canon won’t change simply because you do.

Percy and Annabeth are awkward teens that have never dated anyone else and had barely half a year between pjo and hoo before getting caught up in another mess. I’m not saying that teens aren’t curious and don’t experiment, some do drugs and/or have sex (let’s be real the probability of something happening in the stable scene in MOA is very high) but still? Putting dom/sub labels on them is sketchyyy. Also throw your fucking sex god headcanons out of the motherfucking window. They are 17-ish, if you need the mental image of some weird kids flopping on top of each other for two whole minutes for some odd reason, good for you but I’m side eying the fuck outta you.

You can’t really blame Riordan for not being more explicit. A) the series is for middle schoolers (aka kids), so it’s not strictly Young Adult and there’s only so much you can do B) publishers/editors interfering is a thing (especially with society’s views of sex = bad and violence = just fine) and c) the probability of sexualizing the characters of his own creation in that sense might have made him uncomfortable. Better to play safe, than end up with a bigger mess, just saying. I’m all for the sex talk in a non-berating, (slightly) educational approach when it comes to that in non-adult literature. Or even just stating a sex scene in a mere sentence. (Karen M. McManus did an amazing job with portraying struggling teens with a right approach in One of Us is Lying. Stating it or making it very, very, very clear between the lines. Then again, not everyone can pull that off or wants to go in that direction).

In addition to that, seeing stuff like the infamous ”the sea doesn’t like to be restrained“ or ”Percy has handsome features which shifted from humor to anger“ quotes getting constantly shredded is so… Meh. One simple question: what does Percy having a mean resting bitch face to do with his sexuality/sexual behavior? What does him being annoyed and on the moodier side have to do with it? For me absolutely nothing. The correlation isn’t really clear and out there. Pissed Percy doesn’t translate into Percy automatically being the dominant (in Percabeth’s sex life)?

I mean I get it. We all grow up. Erotica is a wonderful genre and art form (if you waddle through the trash). You will never be able to get that out of fiction and fanfiction. That’s also neither my goal nor my place to decide. As cheap and stupid as it is, I’d rather have people intentionally aging the characters up and stating their headcanons in that regard rather than people attempting to abuse canon where the characters are minors in order for sexualizing them. There’s no good way to prevent this from happening unfortunately (unless you really want to abolish all explicit fanon stuff).

Whenever you post a sexy headcanon just hold on for a second. If you have abstract future headcanons sure, go ahead, personally don’t see a problem with that. But if you use source material to fixate your thoughts on minors in canon to give them sexual labels… I urge you to seriously rethink that.

Stop sexualizing minors. Please. Pretty please.

Peace

#if you want to know my honest opinion about adult percabeth‘s sex life: they have the blandest whitest most boring sex going on.#Tank‘s Coldest playing in the background would be a highlight and they‘d stop a minute in because the harmonies are too tight #like i said i don‘t see any of them being the dom or the sub. they‘re both and neither so I‘d say they are switches. still spiceless sex ngl #also if you think that hickeys going down on someone handcuffs dirty talk or having a red ass are kinky you are 100% vanilla. it is what it #also damn. all of these rants keep me productive af? this is like my fourth in three weeks? whut lol #pjo #my rants #percabeth #annabeth chase #percy jackson #hoo #anon #ask me

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vmheadquarters · 5 years

Link

Fifteen years ago, when viewers first met Jason Dohring’s Logan Echolls, he was introduced as a “psychotic jackass.” Logan has come a long way since then. As Neptune High’s resident bad boy, Logan tormented then eventually romanced Veronica Mars (Kristen Bell), launching one of television’s most beloved couples.

Three seasons and one fan-based movie later, Dohring returns to play his now iconic character for the long-awaited fourth season of Veronica Mars, which premieres July 26 on Hulu.

About six weeks after he finished filming, Paste had the chance to talk to Dohring about playing Logan as an adult, reuniting with executive producer Rob Thomas as well as Bell, the long-standing appeal of the franchise and what to expect in this darker, more grown-up season.

Paste: Here we are five years after the movie and 15 years after the show first premiered, how surprised were you when you got the call about Hulu greenlighting a Season Four?

Jason Dohring: With the movie, Rob Thomas had an idea of how many fans were out there but I don’t think he expected 90,000 fans contributing. We ended up signing 8,000 posters. It took us 22 hours. We left outgoing voice mail messages for people on their phones. We wound up raising six million dollars. That sort of went so well that Rob wanted to bring it to several places. He was always keeping us in the loop saying I think there’s a chance this is going to go forward. We are pretty certain of this so please keep your schedule open if you can and then he found a home at Hulu.

Paste: How would you describe the season?

Jason Dohring: They put a lot into it and I think it’s going to be really special and dark and more grown-up than when we were all in high school, of course. But I don’t think it will just be a bland continuation. I think it will be something new and exciting and we are bringing on new characters. It will be something pretty cool that I don’t think people have seen in this world before.

Paste: Where are Veronica and Logan when we first see them again?

Dohring: Logan’s life was totally destroyed. He was coming from a really bad place, a broken family and sort of decided to turn his life around and enroll in the military, and that’s what he’s been doing so he’s kind of in a good place. And Veronica is in a different place than we’ve seen her as the show starts out and that’s part of the arc for both of those characters as they come from different places that were flopped in the show originally; I am kind of the stable influence on Veronica and she’s kind the oddly adjusted one to her current life.

Paste: How do you reconnect with Logan after all that time has passed? Is it hard to find him again so to speak?

Dohring; It’s a pair of shoes you’ve worn for three years. I think Philip Seymour Hoffman said the light will switch behind your eyes, you can kind of click into that person and you are that person and that’s true of this guy. I think Kristen talks about this as well in that she just feels comfortable in that skin. There’s the adjustment with that of the five years of military experience that’s kind of shaped that underlining guy, but that guy is always there and it’s just adding elements to that to become, I guess, a broader character.

Paste: Fans are, shall we say, deeply invested in the Logan/Veronica relationship. Are you surprised by how much this couple has connected with people? When you were playing it did you have any idea they would become one of the great TV romances?

Dohring: No, certainly not. Doing my best work, I’m not worried about what the audience is thinking. I’m just doing what I feel. I think it’s real emotions and real relationships. We really gave it our all when we were on the show and I think that’s what people respond to and makes it timeless in a sense and when we first started out this character was never supposed to be the romantic interest at all. Kristen was such a great actress and to work with her was so beautiful and igniting. She would respond so beautifully in a scene and it created this situation where this character that was never supposed to be involved with her became involved. Basically, in the writer’s room after several episodes, they came to Kristen and I and they pulled us aside and said, “Okay you guys are going to be together.” And we both said, “What the fuck? There’s no way!”

And they said, “You better start warming up to each other because it’s going to happen.” And we were both just honestly stunned. And I remember how hard it was in a scene in the third or fourth episode, I had to put my hand on her shoulder and it was so against what I had played the whole time it was impossible as an actor to do this and they were like you have to do it. It took every ounce of strength I had to just put a hand on her shoulder.

Paste: What do you think it is about them that has connected with the audience?

Dohring: Nobody kind of saw it coming. I’m kind of the immoral, but there’s always a redeeming aspect and her kind of struggle with that part of the relationship. The violence and unpredictability of Logan is against what she wants, and she also has a strong, opinionated point of view. Sort of that clashing and working together. I think there’s great romance potential in relationships like that.

Paste: You’ve been on UPN, The CW, and a movie set with this character. What was different about filming at Hulu?

Dohring: Maybe it’s my lack of perception but a set feels like a set to me. Aside from the craft service food being at a level 10. The one difference I did see as they are setting up the shot I would take a look and be like, “Jesus that’s beautiful.” The quality of cinematography is at a high level. I think it’s just beautifully shot.

Paste: I know you don’t want to give too much away about this new season, but is there anything else you can tell me about Season Four?

Dohring: Right from the start you’re seeing language and humor at the same time. I think Rob had presented Hulu with a script with a lot of swear words at the start and they did not want to do it in that direction, is the way I remember it. He came up with this great humor and banter and how Veronica would not be using swear words in the show with her dad, and they have this cute game much to my character’s dismay, because it’s annoying. So you’re going to see really great writing and there’s just a big mystery. The mystery is a very big part of it, but yet the relationships are still there.

Paste: What can you tell me about the season-long mystery?

Dohring: It will be very interesting. I don’t think people are going to figure it out. What was really cool that I thought Rob did is he didn’t just want to present a mystery that people would not be able to solve, and if you go back over the show you’ll see it the second time you watch it. All the clues are there. Seventy-five to ninety percent of the people might not fully get it, but if you’re paying attention … I kind of knew the end, and I could see in the writing the hints and stuff like that. Rob didn’t want to make people feel like they were cheated by totally leading someone the wrong way and then solving the mystery at the end. So it’s cool for those interested in paying attention, they might be able to figure out some clues early on, and it’s obviously going to be a big surprise as Rob Thomas shows often are.

Paste: So you knew how everything worked out before you began filming?

Dohring: Halfway through one of the directors told me the ending and I was like, “Oh my gosh!” I could see from there, in the scripts following, that the hints were all there. It was beautiful. You’ll be able to see it. I probably wouldn’t but smarter people would.

Paste: Did it make it harder to play knowing the ending?

Dohring: To be honest I don’t like to know. It was one of the conversations where it just kind of fell out. But it even had a twist beyond the twist. The Rob Thomas extra step. I think it should be trademarked.

Paste: Can you see the franchise continuing? A Season Five?

Dohring: If it makes sense for Hulu. I think they’ve done a fantastic job in that way to set themselves up for a great success. Rob turned in the scripts and Kristen was fabulous per usual. So far it looks good to carry on as far as I can tell. I think Rob definitely has intentions and I think Kristen does as well. I’ve seen some of the final scenes and I think it’s just going to be awesome in the way it can set up for a new series.

Paste Another big difference from when you first played Logan is now you are working with Princess Anna of Arendelle.

Dohring: It’s cool to see Kristen. She is such a good sport with all that stuff. I’m sure it’s pretty intense with the amount of fan love and interest and broad social appeal of a movie like that. My daughter sings all the Frozen songs and has no idea what the words mean but she’s word for word. It’s just amazing. I would love to sing a duet with Kristen but I can’t get over myself to ask her.

Paste: You’ve now had a decade and a half with the franchise. Plenty of shows have had revivals, plenty of shows have been cult hits, but few have been as popular as Veronica Mars for as long as Veronica Mars. The fanbase has not wavered. Can you put your finger on why?

Dohring: I think to some degree it starts with fantastic writing. I really noticed the sense of care by everybody who was involved in the project initially. Coming right out of acting class, and wanting to try everything I learned in acting class in every single scene, and walking backwards into scenes. Really talking, really listening, having real emotions. There was such care by all the actors. Everybody had a great sense of wanting it to be great.

There was a level of insouciance, a carefree attitude, very light and very witty and then you’ll just drop in moments of intense drama and family relationship. For me it basically boiled down to real emotions, and we are all trying to do our very best and create something special. I’ve had multiple people come up to me and say, “I’ve named my son Logan.” And I’m like, “Why did you do that? I’m not the greatest guy on the show.”

Some people come up and say, “This show got me through high school.” And for me that was unbelievable sort of idea that it could impact people and actually help them. You have an underdog character who fights no matter what for the right thing and seeing the good and bad in all characters on the show. I think Rob walked that beautifully. When somebody is totally irredeemable, he does something that was heroic. You could never really put your finger on anybody as a straight bad guy or a straight good guy. We walked the line of grey beautifully.

#veronica mars hulu revival #vm spoilers

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jchb32273 · 5 years

Text

Fictober 2019 - Day 16

Fanfiction - Dragon Age AO3 Link

Listen. No, Really Listen.

~~~~~

“So, she’s really leavin’, huh?” Bull rumbled. “I’ll miss her. She was always nice to me.”

Alistair was walking around the cultural arts campus with the members of his band. He had told them all of Kylara leaving school, but had not mentioned that his brother was trying to find a way to have her come back. Frankly, he was a little skeptical that it would work and didn’t want to hold out hope. “Yes, Bull. She leaves on Wednesday.”

“Well, I suppose you can say it was good while it lasted,” Anders quipped.

At Alistair’s scowl, Dorian spoke up, “Now, now, Anders. We’re here to help support Alistair. He’s losing someone he cares deeply for. Why I’d be utterly devastated if Bull were to leave the school. I’d shut myself up in my room, draw every curtain closed, and mourn every moment we were apart…”

“Ah, Dorian… thanks, but that’s not really helping,” Alistair muttered.

“Oh. Sorry. Guess I did go a bit too far?” Dorian gave an apologetic smile, then turned to Fenris. “What about you Fenris? Any thoughts about the situation?”

“Mmph, s’pose she was cool enough. I did like that cake she made…”

“See there, Alistair?” Dorian pat him on the back. “We’re here for you…. And I suppose it is true that you can still go and visit her on occasion?”

“Sure, but it’s not that same as having her here.”

Anders rolled his eyes. “Dude, if you’re gonna miss her that much, why don’t you just ask her to bloody marry you already?”

“Because, Anders, she’s already told me she wants to finish school and get a stable career before even considering marriage. For that matter, so do I.”

“You already asked her?” Anders laughed.

“No!” Alistair almost shouted back at him. “We just casually talked about our futures, that’s all.”

“But you’re all set to inherit millions from your dad… not like you need to work.” Fenris shrugged.

“Oh, believe me… Maric won’t hand over one bloody sovereign to me unless I am working somewhere… preferably for him. If I am not working for him – which I really don’t want to – then I need to have something stable career-wise.” Alistair sighed. “Besides, Cailan gets the lion’s share of the inheritance first since he is the ‘legitimate’ son. I’m may be a Theirin, but I am a bastard.”

Fenris lit a cigarette up, took a drag, then mumbled, “Well, that’s gotta suck.”

Alistair then flopped down on a nearby bench. “Look, I thought you all brought me out here to get my mind off my problems… not make me relive them by talking about them.”

“Yes, this is true,” Dorian nodded. “So, where would you like to head next? I hear there are some brilliant sculptures in the art gallery.”

“I wouldn’t mind checking out what the robotics team is putting together for their upcoming competition,” Anders mused.

“I could go for some food,” Bull said with a grin.

“Darling, you always want some food,” Dorian poked at Bull’s stomach. “Good thing you don’t seem to gain weight!”

“With these rock-hard abs? I’d think not!” Bull laughed.

“Well, why don’t we head to the quad, grab a bite, then check out the gallery and the robotics lab?” Dorian suggested diplomatically.

“Sure. Sounds fun,” Alistair replied dryly. He got up from the bench and the group all started walking.

As they headed towards the quad, they passed by the auditorium. The front doors were open and Alistair heard something that made him stop in his tracks.

“What did you stop for, Al?” Fenris asked.

“Do you hear that?” he asked.

Dorian cocked his head. “Sounds like someone playing the cello.”

Anders, Fenris, and Bull all were quiet to listen in.

“Hmm, I guess it’s kind of pretty,” Bull said.

“Not really my kind of music,” Anders muttered.

“Seriously guys. Listen. No, really listen.” Alistair closed his eyes. “It’s beautiful. Passionate.” A smile came to his face. “I wonder who is playing? They are amazing.”

“We could go in and look, you know,” Fenris smirked. “Solve the mystery right here and now.”

“I wouldn’t want to disturb them,” Alistair replied.

“If we’re quiet, we won’t,” Dorian said. “Sounds like they are really into the music anyways.”

“What song is it anyways?” Bull asked with a shrug. “Not that I’d really know. But I admit I’m curious.”

Dorian listened for a moment, then said, “I believe it is Bach. Cello Suite One in G.” He then started walking into the building. “Well? Are you coming in or not?”

“Just make sure we stay quiet,” Alistair whispered as he followed Dorian.

The lights were all off inside as they made their way in, following the music. Once they were in the auditorium proper – where the audience would sit – they all saw a single spotlight on the stage with a single woman playing. Alistair’s eyes widened in shock. “Kylara…” he breathed.

“You didn’t know she could play?” Dorian whispered in Alistair’s ear. Alistair could only shake his head.

He quickly took out his cell and turned on the video recording mode. After a few minutes, Dorian nudged him in the ribs and gestured with his head in a let’s go motion. Alistair stopped the recording and quietly left with his friends.

Back outside, Alistair had to sit back down, still in shock.

Fenris nodded, clearly impressed. “She was actually pretty damn good there. Wonder why she never said anything about it?”

“She must have her reasons, I’m sure,” Dorian softly said. To Alistair, “You really had no idea?”

“I knew she loved classical music, but no, she never said one word to me about being able to actually play… The cello isn’t an easy instrument to learn either.”

“She was playing with no music either,” Dorian commented. “That is also a feat unto itself. To have memorized that entire suite…”

“What did you record her for there, Al?” Bull asked. “To have proof?”

“There is an audition coming up for an arts scholarship. If I can convince her to try for it…”

“You’re thinking that might allow her to return to school?” Dorian finished.

“Maybe. She’ll be up against some other strong candidates from what I hear… but I think she could have a good chance.”

“I’d say a great chance,” Dorian said. “Her playing was very impressive.”

“Are you going to see her again before she leaves?” Fenris asked.

“Yes. Tonight.” He didn’t mention she was staying with him until she actually left.

“Best of luck to you then, Al.” Bull thumped him on his back. “Tell her for me too, that we’d all really love it if she would stay.”

“I will,” Alistair smiled. “Thanks, guys.”

#fictober19 #dragon age #alternate universe #modern thedas #sfw #shorter drabble #music #cello

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pixieungerstories · 6 years

Text

Housemates 14

“So…. Dren and Kevin, huh?”

Derick slowed to a stop and waited for Vinny to turn around and come back for him on there morning run through the park.

“What?”

The werewolf shook his head, “It’s not like that.”

“The whole living room smelled like bergamot, I’m pretty sure it’s like that.”

Derick sighed, “People have the luxury of being picky. The polite name is species diverse household, but people call us the monster house. We are monsters. No one wants us. We take care of each other.”

“I want you,” Vinny smiled.

Derick grinned and leaned in to kiss her. “Yeah, but I’m easy to love. Tristan is easy to objectify. Kogan is easy to fear. We aren’t seen as people. I’m the only one in that house that can pass as human. So, yeah, we take care of each other.”

Vinny nodded, slowly. Then she turned and went back to her run. Derick easily caught up. “Vinny? I wasn’t dating any one. I wasn’t even looking. Those guys are my family, and even if you don’t see it that way, you are one of us now. Part of the family.”

“So if Tristan came home from work one day, totally stressed out, you-”

“No. Tristan isn’t that lucky. He’s pretty damn hetero. He has a shit day, he lets some woman take him home and then spends weeks feeling being haunted by it. People don’t treat him like people. He could have all the sexual harassment he could hold still for. It isn’t the same as meaningful sex.”

The jogged in silence for a while. Finally, Vinny said, “Yeah, I get that. That time Tristan took me grocery shopping…. Just … wow. It was bad. And I’m pretty sure my Aunt Val recognized him.”

It was another block before Derick responded, “He likes it when you spend time with him. That’s good.”

“Is it?”

“Yeah. He needs some positive attention, from a nice person.”

Vinny just shook her head, “This is the strangest relationship I have ever even heard of let alone been in.”

“Maybe, but I promise it will be the most stable. There’s enough of us that there is always someone to talk to. We don’t keep secrets and if we end up with problems we all work together to fix them.”

That was something to think about. Stable was not a word that couple be applied to her parents’ relationship.

———-

Tristan came home from work. He did not slam the door. He sat down and pulled off his boots. He walked into the kitchen, without saying a word to Vinny or Kevin. He helped himself to one of Kogan’s beer out of the fridge and headed upstairs to the bathroom. As he walked away, he could hear Vinny talking.

“That was … odd,” Vinny observed.

“That was a really bad day at work,” Kevin replied. “He’ll hang out in the bathtub until the water gets cold then hide in his room and watch MST3K or something other sarcastic show.”

“Yup,” he called from the staircase. “That is the plan. Don’t hold supper for me.”

It used to be that he would fell a little guilt hogging the tub, but a couple of weeks ago, Vinny announced that she would share the third floor bathroom as long as it was open when she needed to shower and no one peed on the floor. There had been a round of snickering at that.

Then they realized she was dead serious.

It really was the emergency bathroom, no one wanted to be the one accused of peeing on the floor.

After he ran a hot bath, with a big scoop of epsom salts because he worked hard and his muscles hurt, he turned of the lights turned off. There was enough natural light from the window and he didn’t like the way the light fixture buzzed slightly. He was too big to drown in the tub, so he just dozed until the water was cold and the room was dark.

Climbing out of the tub, he wrapped a towel around his waist and thought about going down stairs to scrounge for food, but just headed to his room instead. It was going to take a while to dry off anyway. Back in the day, he had suffered through monthly full body waxings, which he had always though was a bit unfair. He didn’t have coarse and relatively long body hair like a human. His was short and velvety. But he had a lot of it and it took a while to dry, so he was going to be here for a while.

There was a very timid knock on the door. Tristan reposition the towel so that he was arguably covered. “What do you need, Vinny?”

She didn’t open the door, but merely called out, “It was build your own burrito night. I brought you some with beans, rice and veg, the way you like.”

He considered that as he dried his balls. “One moment.” Sweatpants were unearthed from the dark bowels of his closet and applied before he opened the door. Vinny was standing patiently with a plate full of food for him.

“I warmed it up when I heard the tub emptying.”

“Thank you.” He turned on the TV before flopping down on the bed with the plate on his chest.

Vinny was still standing in the doorway.

“Anything I can help you with, VJ?”

“Um. Yeah. Never call me that in front of Kevin. Also, I was wondering if you wanted some company.”

He gave her a look, “Derick is at work.”

“Yeah. So either we can both be alone, watching TV. Or we can watch together and your screen is WAY bigger than my laptop.”

Tristan considered this as he chewed a bite of burrito. “OK. Do you think you could steal another couple of Kogan’s beer?”

“I HEARD THAT!” was shouted from across the hall.

Vinny laughed. She had a nice laugh. “No, but I can raid my own stash.”

They ended up watching Lucifer on Netflix. Vinny brought beer and popcorn. She end up falling asleep curled against his side after the fourth episode.

That was nice.

——

Tristan woke for a moment when Derick came in. He blinked at the werewolf who was stripping down to his shorts and climbing into bed so that Vinny was between them.

That was nice too.

——

Vinny and Derick were home from a much shorter than usual morning run. Derick was off to sleep during the day so he could go back and work another night shift. It was pouring rain out, giving Tristan a very much appreciated day off. He was watching Vinny. Who was looking out the window with dread.

“What’s up, buttercup?”

“I have to take the bus grocery shopping in that.”

“Or we could take my truck.”

Vinny turned to look at him. “You could just stay inside and watch TV and not have to go out to get wet,” she pointed out.

Tristan just shrugged, “We try to take care of each other around here.”

They ended up stuck in traffic after some idiot spun out on the wet tarmac, taking out three other cars and completely blocking the road. Tristan was humming along with the local country station, not really minding the delay, but he could tell Vinny had something on her mind. After another five minutes by the clock, he turned off the radio and announced, “Just say it.”

Vinny blushed, “I haven’t ever seen any of your movies. I was trying to decide if it was more polite to just ask or to go looking for them on the internet.”

Tristan went very still as he considered this. “I would rather you didn’t go looking for them. What do you want to know?”

“I just trying to understand the fetish. I mean, you are a great guy, but it doesn’t sound like this is regular porn we are talking about.”

Tristan forced himself to relax. “The Rodeo Circuit is live events featuring minotaur men and human women. They usually try to emphasize the size different.”

“So what? They pair you up with a woman and you have sex in front of an audience?”

Tristan snorted. “Not exactly. They do it up as though it was a real rodeo event. So they have ‘competitions.’ For example, there is minotaur milking we are all naked in a ring and they release a bunch of women who have to run across the arena, find a minotaur and make him cum. Any way they like. Hands, mouthes, whatever. First one to finish, wins. Or there’s bull riding. A gal climbs on one of our cocks. The guy bucks and tries to ‘get her off.’ There are two versions of that. Fastest time to female orgasm wins, or longest ride where-”

“OK. I get it. That all sounds so dehumanizing.”

Tristan shrugged, “Yeah. But it pays well if you can’t, for example, get a business loan.”

“Oh.”

“Plus, you would be hard pressed to find a idiot in his twenties that wouldn’t at least consider all the sex he could get and a paycheque too.”

“I guess. Did you … um… have a favourite event?”

Tristan looked at Vinny sitting there, staring straight out the window, and burst out laughing. “I mostly competed in the bull riding events. I won more than a few. Which is why I never like being on the bottom now. I am much happier holding a gal up and fucking her against the wall.”

That made her look at him. Tristan just shrugged, “I wouldn’t have brought it up if you hadn’t.”

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septic84 · 5 years

Text

The stranger who loved me.

Writing a book about our lives as Dan and Phil the YouTubers was surreal. I wasn’t sure how we pulled that off let alone the tour we were about to start. The Amazing Book Is Not On Fire sparked The Amazing Tour Is Not On Fire and we were about to go on stage to perform our first show. Everything was going smoothly until it wasn’t. I saw Phil stumble, try to regain composure, then fall off of the stage.

A03

“Oh shit,” my voice echoed over the microphone, I reached down to switch it off, waiting to see Phil come back up the stairs. When he didn’t, I hurried down to him.

“Phil, are you okay?” I said approaching him. The crowd was whispering and talking hushed. Phil didn’t respond. “Phil?” When I looked down at him, he laid still, there was a pool of blood under his head. “Oh my God!” By this time our security team had already started to section off the area as the medical staff was making their way towards us. I leaned down and switched off Phil’s mic. “Hey, hang in there okay? Help is coming.” He didn’t move. An announcement was made to the theater that there was an emergency and for everyone to stay seated. I heard people crying in the audience, I couldn’t blame them, I was almost in tears myself. I knew when Phil was well again, he would feel really bad about making so many people so upset due to his clumsiness. He had finally managed to hurt himself badly due to his constant tripping over his own feet.

When we got to hospital, a member of the security team was allowed to go with him and wait outside the door, I, however, was asked to stay in the waiting room. Nervously my knee bounced up and down as I wrung my hands and stared at my feet, I really wanted to be with Phil. Not knowing what was going on was killing me. It seemed like days had passed when A doctor came out to give us information.

“Philip Lester?” I stood up and walked to the doctor.

“Relation?”

“He’s my,” I paused, “Best friend and flatmate. We were in the middle of our stage show when he fell.”

He nodded, “Okay, come with me.” The doctor started to rattle off information too quickly for me to keep up. Several medical terms later I had sussed out that he had broken his nose, had swelling on his brain and was in a coma. “He is stable right now; we have a specialist coming in the morning to review his charts,”

“Okay,” I said as we entered the room. Phil was hooked up to several machines and an IV. His head was wrapped in gauze, his eyes were both black from bruising.

“I’ll leave you for now,” The doctor gave a sympathetic smile and left.

I sat next to his bed, “Oh Phil,” I choked. I could hear the beeping of the monitors and machinery as I laid my head down on the bed, not able to contain it anymore, tears slid down my face. I was so scared, Phil looked too fragile and helpless. What was worse is I knew I couldn’t do anything for him. Not at all.

I must have dozed off as I was startled awake by a hand on my shoulder. I looked up to see Martyn smiling down at me, sadly. “Hi,”

“Hey. I would have let you sleep, but they say the specialist should be here soon,”

I nodded, “How long have you been here?”

He shrugged, “Few hours,”

“I can’t believe he is laying here literally because he fell off of the stage. “

Martyn chuckled humorlessly, “Leave it to Phil,”

“The swelling is already going down,” the specialist said after she had his head scanned again. “He should wake up in the next few days, granted he keeps making progress like this.” She looked at Martyn, then me, “It’s good news, boys.” She smiled, nodded and walked out.

Three days later Phil woke up. I was making my way back to him from the bathroom when I heard him groan in pain and saw his eyes flutter open.

“Hi there, Phily,” I said softly. He turned and looked at me, his face held the look of utter confusion, I laughed. “You fell off the stage, you absolute mess.”

“I was on a stage?”

“TATINOF?”

“What?”

I shook my head, “It’s okay Phil, take your time. I will properly drag you and we can talk about all that when you are feeling better,” I smiled at him.

“Well, that’s nice I guess,” he paused, “but I have no idea who you are.”

“Haha, very funny,”

“I wasn’t being funny,”

“What?” I swallowed hard, “You don’t know who I am?”

“No, am I supposed to?”

I felt as though I was about to faint, “Yes!” I squeaked.

“Mr. Lester, I see you are awake,” the nurse walked into the room. “How are you feeling?”

“Sore, my head, and face really hurt,”

“I’m sure,”

“He can’t remember!” I blurted out, panicking.

“Oh, “She said, what’s the last thing you remember?”

“Being at uni.” I audibly gasped.

“Let me go get the doctor,” she smiled as she left.

Luckily, Martyn came in at the same time.

“Martyn? Oh my god, I’m glad you’re here!” Phil’s face relaxed, but he was side-eyeing me.

He laughed, “Why are you looking at Dan like that?”

“He doesn’t remember who I am,” I said, sadly.

Martyn’s face fell, “What? How is that possible?”

“How am I supposed to know? I have no idea what's even happening,” Phil said.

“Sorry,” I muttered. The doctor came in and examined him, she ordered a series of brain scans to try to figure out Phil’s memory loss.

“Phil, do you know what year it is?” she asked.

“Well, no, but judging by how old Martyn looks I am assuming I am not in Uni anymore.”

“Hey!” Martyn said.

“You don’t remember why you’re here?”

“No, I don’t even know where “here” is.

“And you don’t remember Dan, at all?”

“No,”

This was a nightmare, I stepped out of the room and sat on a bench in the hall. I wasn’t sure what to do. After a few minutes the doctor came out, “He could remember everything eventually,” She clasped my shoulder. “Don’t give up.” I nodded.

I overheard Martyn talking to Phil, “Dan. As in Danisnotonfire.”

“I have no idea what that means?”

“YouTube?”

“Martyn, the last YouTube video I remember making is after I returned from Busch Gardens in America,”

“Oh my god, when was that? So that means you don’t remember him like, at all?”

“I take it Dan is important?”

“Ah, yeah. He’s become like family to us.”

“Us us, or like you and our parents?”

“Phil, Dan is your flatmate,”

“Oh,”

“And your best friend.”

“Oh,”

“At least that’s what you tell people.”

“What’s that supposed to mean?”

I knocked on the door, “Excuse the interruption, I just thought I’d let you know I am going to get a hotel room,” I doubted Phil wanted me to sleep by his bedside anymore. “I’ll see you, I guess.”

“Dan,” Martyn started, I waved him off

“I’m really glad you are awake Phil,” I smiled, nodded and walked out. He had no idea who I was, the video he was referencing was before he even tweeted at me. I was a stranger to him. He didn’t know about the legacy we had built with YouTube, BBC radio 1, TABINOF or TATINOF. What the hell was I going to tell the internet? A member of our security team took me to a hotel, they had agreed to stay around until Phil was released, just for precautionary measures. I had a set of Phil’s contacts in their pot in my pocket, his phone and I knew that his pillow and things from the dressing room were in the car.

“Ready?”

“Yeah,”

Once I was checked in, I kicked off my shoes, took off my skinny jeans I had been squeezed into for days now, leaving me in my pants. My shirt came off next, grabbing Phil’s pillow I crawled into the bed. I inhaled Phil’s scent and fell asleep, crying into it.

I woke up to my phone ringing. It had only been two hours, it was Martyn.

“Hello?”

“What hotel are you at?”

“Why?”

“Because I am coming over.”

I groaned getting up to open the door when he had arrived.

“You didn’t have to leave, Dan.”

“He has no idea who I am, why would he want me there? If I were in his shoes, I wouldn’t want me there.” He said nothing, “See, exactly.”

“What are you going to do about the tour?”

“I have already emailed everyone to cancel it.”

“You decided this on your own?”

“Well, it isn’t like Phil cares, is it?”

“He would if he knew.”

“I know that but he doesn't, he can’t remember me, let alone our stage show.” I flopped down on the bed. “As far as the rest of it goes, what the fuck am I supposed to do?”

“I’m not sure,”

“Same. Do I pretend to be Phil? Tweet that he was hurt, but keep it vague? Do I tweet as me? Do we just ignore it? I know Phil wouldn’t want us to ignore it, at least not the one who knows and loves his fans, but,”

“Dan, it doesn’t have to be figured out right now, you know, that right?”

“I suppose you’re right.”

“I want to ask how you are, but I’m sure I know. You overheard us.”

“Yeah.” I swallowed. “I, just. He’s my best friend, he’s my only friend. He doesn’t know who I am.”

“Still sticking with the “friend” label, huh?”

I rubbed the back of my neck nervously. “He is also my business partner,”

“I suppose you could let your manager and team handle it, but you would know what Phil would want, better than anyone. I won’t pressure you, but it has to be addressed.”

“I know,” I looked up at him, “What if he never remembers me, Martyn?”

“We can’t think like that,”

“I can and I am. Look, I get it, but you will always have a place in his life. He knows who you are. What’s going to happen when they release him? Is he coming back to our flat? Will he go to yours? Your mums? Why would he want to live with me?”

“Deep breaths,”

“How did this happen? How is this fair, to anyone? This is like a terrible movie of the week.”

“He hasn’t said much after I told him who you are, he just keeps repeating the same timeline he referenced before. In Uni.”

“Our story doesn’t exist, Youtube Dan and Phil don’t exist.”

“Not right now, they don’t. He has another brain scan tomorrow, they will be determining a treatment course, if he can go home or leave, I guess.”

“Where are you staying tonight?”

“I think I’ll stay at the hospital. The idea of him being alone really bothers me.” I felt the guilt stabbing in my gut. “I’m heading back then, so I’ll see you tomorrow?”

“You think I should come back?”

“Of course, you should Dan. Scans at 10:00.”

“Okay,”

“Try to stay positive, yeah? See you in the morning.”

“Sure, see you.”

Even though I was exhausted, I wasn’t able to sleep. I was so damned scared that my life was over. I was nothing without Phil, everyone knew that, and I was not the exception. If Phil didn’t remember me ever again, I had no idea what I was going to do. I tried to resist a trip down memory lane, but that only lasted so long. As I panicked, I loaded a PINOF playlist, set an alarm and closed my eyes, listening to us laugh.

My alarm went off and I pulled myself out of bed as the memories flooded through my mind. I showered, drank the disgusting hotel room coffee and brushed my teeth before I left for the hospital. I had no idea if Phil would even want me there, but I still went. I knocked on the frame of the door.

“Hey, Dan,” Martyn greeted.

“Hi,” I said, meeting Phil’s gaze.

“Your hair is really curly today,” He said.

I blushed; I had forgotten to straighten it, “Ah, yeah,”

“Come sit, Dan.” Martyn motioned to the chair.

I sat, but it was so awkward and uncomfortable that I was constantly shifting in the silence.

“Well, this sucks,” Phil said casually, smiling. I laughed. “Is this as weird for you as it is for me?”

“I can’t be sure, but it’s pretty fucking weird.”

“Yeah, apparently we have known each other for years.”

“Oh Phil,” We were interrupted by his mum, she had finally made it here. I wondered when she would arrive.

“Hi, mum, this is Dan,”

“Silly boy, I know who Dan is,” she turned to me and kissed the top of my head. “Hello, darling. How are you holding up?”

“Fine,” I whispered. One of her fingers twisted in one of my curls as if to make a point, though she didn’t say anything else.

“The doc will be here in a while to take him for another scan, we will know more then.”

“He doesn’t remember Dan at all?”

“He doesn’t remember a lot of things, not just me,” I said softly.

“Oh, Dan,” She murmured

“You know, I am right here; I was the one who got hurt, like actually. He didn't.”

“If you remembered you wouldn’t be taking that tone with me, mister.”

“Well, I don’t okay? It’s not like anyone is telling me much anyway.”

“We don’t want to make it worse, Phil.” Martyn said, “The doctors haven't told us what we should and shouldn’t do yet.”

The doctor came in before anyone else could say anything, “Ready for your scan?” Phil looked scared so without thinking I took his hand in mine. He jumped and I released it. “I’m sorry,” I muttered. I got up and walked out of the room so they could take him to his scan. I watched in the hall as they wheeled him away for his procedure. Kath was suddenly pulling me into a hug.

“Hey there, my strong lad,” she soothed “You’re okay.” I clung to her; I needed this comfort.

“I just don’t understand how he doesn’t remember. What am I supposed to do? I mean he’s my best friend.”

“Oh, we are still going with that are we?” Kath huffed. I pulled back and looked into her eyes, blushing. “He’s also your business partner,” She grabbed his shoulders, “Have you decided what you are going to do?”

“I canceled the tour, other than that, I’m not sure what to do. Phil doesn’t remember anything since 2008,” I took a deep breath, “That means YouTube, BBC, the gaming channel, the book or the tour.”

“Let’s see what the doctor says, we can work on it from there.”

“I suppose you could call me; I doubt he wants me here.”

“Well, I want you here. And I am hungry, let’s take Martyn and get some lunch, shall we?”

“This is really a family matter, isn’t it?”

“Daniel, you are family and you know it. Stop it. Come.”

The doctor explained that Phil’s brain was healing, but the amnesia was an unfortunate side effect. It was diagnosed as selective amnesia, which I thought was a stupid name, but as Phil remembered his mum, his brother, and his childhood, this seemed to be the best fit. The doctor couldn’t give us a time frame or confirmation that the last 7 years of his life would even return to him. He was to rest, but also try to trigger his memories slowly. They warned not to do too much too fast, but “they” remained hopeful that this would work. I wasn’t so sure. They advised me to put things away that would cause him to ask too many questions, and slowly reintroduce them.

“We will be able to release you tomorrow,” she said, leaving the room.

I took a deep breath, chewing on my lip.

“Well, “Kath said, “We’ll get you back to London, back to your things and your bed.”

“I live in London?”

“Yes, you do.”

“You live with me, “I said softly.

“Oh,”

“You’ve lived with Dan for several years,” Kath said, patting his shoulder. “If we want your memory to return, that is the best place for you.”

Phil looked scared, I hated that. “Phil, you can stay with your mum or Martyn for a while, if it would make you more comfortable,” relief crossed his face.

“Nonsense, all of his memories are in and at your flat. “

“Mum,” Phil said.

“This is what’s best for you, Philip. You need to go back to London.”

“Look how scared he is,” I squeaked, “How could it be best for him?”

Returning to my hotel room, I sighed. Kath was not going to acquiesce my offer for Phil to stay with one of them for a while. Tomorrow afternoon Phil and I would be back in our flat, alone. He had no idea who I was other than what people had told him. I was headed back to our apartment shortly, to put away anything that was us. I would put it all in the gaming room, I would have to buy and install a lock to keep him out. It was overwhelming, as I packed up my things, (and Phil’s) I forced myself not to cry. It was not the time. It was shortly after three am and I had finally gotten the flat cleaned up to an acceptable level. Martyn and Kath would be dropping Phil off in the morning, I made sure his coffee mug and coffee were set out for him. The photos of us that were kept on the wall we never showed on any platform, all of our awards, plaques, and art that hinted to who we were, was now all locked away. Anything at all that made us, us. I looked around at how empty the flat was, it mirrored how I felt. Making sure the gaming room was securely locked, I hid the key in my room, which also was now bare. I was in my pants, laying numbly on my bed. This was going to be the hardest thing I have ever done; I wasn’t sure I was strong enough. It wasn’t like I had a choice.

I woke up to keys in the lock, Phil’s voice then Kath’s. “Wow, this is a nice flat.” “Yes, you and Dan have a nice place here,”

I pulled some clothes on and walked out to greet them, yawning.

“Sorry,” I muttered.

“It’s okay, Dan,” Martyn said.

“I’ll show you to your room,” I said, forcing the kindest smile I could muster.

“Right, thanks.” What he didn’t know is his room was actually our room, it had been for years now. I swallowed hard.

“Here we are,”

“Okay, thanks.” He walked in, looking around. “At least this looks the same,” He said, motioning to his duvet. I laughed softly. I missed him so much, I just wanted to hug him. After explaining to him where everything was, I excused myself.

“I’ll let you get settled, then.” I went back to the lounge.

“You can do this, Dan.” Kath pulled me into another hug.

“Can I?”

“Of course,” she lowered her voice “When you love someone, you would be surprised what you can do.”

I didn’t even refute it, I just pulled back and nodded.

“We’re off now, I will be staying in London for a time, just to make sure he gets settled.” she turned towards his room “Phil, we’re leaving.”

Phil came out and hugged his mum. “I know you’re scared, it’s okay. I promise you; you are safe here. I wouldn’t leave if that were not the case.” He hugged Martyn next.

“Dan really cares about you Phil, you’re fine.” He reassured.

“Bye,” He said, his voice was timid and it made my heart clench.

After they had left, we stood awkwardly. “Ah, I have things out for you to make your coffee if you’d like.” I motioned to the kitchen

“Yeah, okay.”

“If you need me, I’ll be in my room, which is the one just down the hall from yours.”

“Thanks,”

I didn’t know what the fuck I was supposed to be doing, I just wanted to be around him. I knew he must be feeling really strange too. For the most part, he spent the day in his room, I hoped he had been resting, but I couldn’t be sure. After the pizzas I had ordered arrived, I knocked on his door.

“Ah, yeah?”

“I ordered us Pizza, I’m hungry, I figured you would be too.”

He opened the door, “Yeah, I am, thanks.”

“Did you want to eat with me or?”

“Yeah, sure.”

We were set up in the lounge, I wasn’t sure what we should watch, what would be too much or too confusing, so I put Buffy on. He smiled.

“I love Buffy.”

I smiled at him, “I know,” I remained quiet for most of it until Phil had sauce dripping off of his chin and I absent-mindedly grabbed a napkin and wiped it off. His face was still black and blue, I sucked in a breath. Then I caught his eyes, they were wide and uncomfortable.

“Oh, god. I’m sorry.” I said quickly snatching my hand back.

“It’s okay,” He said. “I take it we are close, but I just don’t know that.”

“I know, I know.” I looked down

“Your hair is cute curly, you know.” He said, eyes still on the screen.

“Ugh, I hate it. I look like a hobbit.”

He laughed out loud. “I see why we are friends, you’re funny.”

“Yeah, yeah.”

“So,” He turned towards me, “We have lived together for years?”

“Yes,”

“How did we meet?”

Was I supposed to tell him this soon? “Um,”

“I mean, I don’t know do I?”

“I’m worried to push you,”

“Well, the whole reason I am here is so that I can remember you, isn’t it?”

“Yeah, yeah it is. We met because of your Youtube channel.”

“Really?”

“Yes, really.”

“Wow, that’s so cool.” He smirked.

“Yeah, I Tweeted at you, a lot. I liked Muse, you liked Muse.

“Do you watch my videos?”

“Yes,” I smiled, “and then we met.”

“Wow, when was that?”

“2009.”

He gasped, “Sorry, I keep forgetting it’s 2015.”

“I’m sure this is hard for you.”

“Yeah, I guess I graduated huh?”

“You did,”

“Good.” He yawned, “When am I allowed to go on the internet again?”

“Oh,” I took a deep breath, “Let’s just give that some time. There is so much shit, now Phil. I want you to be feeling better before you open that Pandora’s box.”

“Is it that bad?” He said softly,

“Some parts are, most are not. Are you tired?”

“Yeah, I suppose I am.”

“Okay, time for bed then,”

“Dan?”

“Yeah?”

“I know this must be hard for you too,”

“I’m okay, Phily, don’t worry about me.”

“Phily?”

“Yeah, ah, sorry.” I blushed.

“Well, goodnight then,”

“Goodnight.”

In the coming days, Phil had asked a few common questions, but nothing too in-depth. I was struggling and found myself face down in the hallway. I literally did this all the time but Phil, of course, didn't know. “Oh!” He just happened upon me having a lie down on the floor, “Are you alright? Should I call someone?"

I scoffed. "I'm fine this is a thing I do."

"Why?"

" That's the million-dollar question.”

"Should I do something?"

"Nope."

"Okay then." Phil had discovered my existential crisis hallway, he probably thought I was insane. I took a deep breath and continued my spiral.

“Dan?”

“Ugh,” I groaned.

“I don't mean to pry, but you've been laying on the floor for 3 hours, at least since the last time we spoke.” He crouched next to me, “I feel like I should do something,”

I smirked, “Yeah this is how you were when it first started too.”

“Well, that makes sense, since we're friends, right?”

“Yeah, right.” We stayed in silence for a while, he eventually sat leaning his back against the wall, wrapping his arms around his knees.

“You may not remember, “I chuckled, “but you sure act like the Phil I know.”

“Does this happen a lot?”

“More than it should, I suppose.” I sat up, “thanks for sitting with me.”

He smiled, “I want you to tell me more about our life, I want to remember you.”

“I'm not sure I can right now,”

“Why does it seem like there's something really bad that's happened?”

“There is a lot of things Phil, a lot.”

“Why won't you just tell me, why is there a locked room upstairs?”

“Because,” I stood up to leave, “I want you to remember and not just learn about it. I doubt you'd forgive me a second time.” I walked into my room and shut the door, but he followed me. I heard through the door “We're friends, of course, I will!”

But we weren't just friends and that was the problem. Did I have it in me to show him that video? The one that everyone now refers to as the” v-day video.” I was so mad when it posted, he was so embarrassed. There was so much backlash from that alone, but there was more. What about the “I like vagina” posts, or all the “no, I'm not gay” posts? Then there was the whole "no homo Howell 2012," that whole year was a cluster fuck.

“Well can you at least show me what shops I go to? I need toothpaste.”

I open the door and stepped out, “Yeah okay, we typically just order from Tesco. We don't go outside much, I mean we were going to, but then you fell.” I ordered a car.

“Oh, sorry.”

I smiled. “It's okay Phil, you didn't intend on this happening.”

“You said I fell off the stage, why was I on a stage?”

“Ah, don't you need toothpaste? Let's go.”

“You can't put me off forever, you know, that right?”

“I know,” I noticed he was in a t-shirt, “I have your coat in my room, hang on, “

He cocked his eyebrow when I returned. “We share clothes?”

I handed it to him. “Yeah, sometimes We do.” I guided him towards the door we got to the car

“Wow, I can't believe I live in London. That's truly mental, why did we move here?”

“For work mostly, we lived in Manchester before.”

"We did?”

“Yes, we did. I went to Uni there for a while. I know what you're doing, by the way.” I was so tired of not talking to Phil, of feeling so alone, that I answered his questions. I got lost in thought and my leg was pressed into his. I realize the comfort it brought me, it seemed to do the same for Phil.

“We're really touchy-feely friends, aren't we?”

I blushed and laughed, “We are. Does it bother you?”

“No, not really.”

“Okay, good.”

We had made it through Tesco fairly easily, thankfully not running into anyone we knew or any of our followers. We were at the checkout and Phil looked exhausted, his face looked sickly as the dark purple bruises were now fading into browns and yellows.

“Are you okay?”

“Starting to get a headache,”

“We're almost done.” He seemed unsteady; I looked around and seeing no one was looking, I looped my arm around his waist. “Lean into me.”

He snorted, “You clearly don't want to be touching me in public.”

“You don't understand,”

“Of course, I don't.” He pushed my arm away. We didn't speak the entire way home; I wasn’t sure what to say. When we got home, I started to put groceries away in silence, I glanced at him. He looked miserable.

“You should go lay down, I don't want you to get a migraine, you have that look on your face.”

He sighed. “It's so frustrating that you know so much about me and I can't remember anything about you.”

“I'm sorry, Phil,” He shook his head and walked away. There wasn’t much I could do to help that. I missed him so much, the him that would allow me to be close to him at the right times, the one who understood why we needed to be careful of who saw us in public. I missed Dan and Phil, both professionally and personally. I missed my old life.

I knew It was risky, but I snuck up to the gaming room. I needed to feel connected to my Phil to be able to help this Phil. I looked through our photos, our book, and his Twitter. I even watched the “V-day” video. I needed to hear him say I love you. I haven't watched it since the accidental uploading, it was too painful. But, now in the dark, with all things Dan and Phil surrounding me, I was glad I had it. I watched it twice wiping my eyes, I took a deep breath; it was time to pull myself together. Standing up, I looked around the room one last time, turned out the lights then shut and locked the door. I met Phil at the bottom of the stairs.

“Hey, are you feeling better?”

“I guess so, I'm so bored." His eyes drifted up the stairs, “Are you okay?”

I smiled at him, “Yes. We can play Sonic?”

He looked at me suspiciously, but said, “Yeah, okay, thanks.” Some time into the game, we were laughing and had made our way closer to each other on the sofa, our legs touched like they always did. When it was my turn, I noticed he was watching my face more than the game, I smirked.

“You know I can see you staring at me, yeah?”

“Ah,” he stammered, “sorry.”

“Do I have something on my face?”

“No, it's just,”

“Just what?”

“Nothing, never mind,” I pause the game setting the controller down.

“What?”

“It feels like we are or have been more than friends in the past,”

I swallowed hard, “what?”

“Oh,” he said, “I guess that means I’m not crazy?" I nodded in silence. “Why does everyone think we're just best friends then?”

“It's complicated,”

“My family even calls us best friends, why are we “best friends” if we are or were more?”

I sighed, “More than one reason, mostly because of me.”

Phil took a deep breath, “Are you embarrassed of me?” He looked down at his hands

“No, no not at all Phil. It's nothing like that. Why would you think that?”

“Well, look at you, then look at me.”

“It has nothing to do with that, Phil. And that’s ridiculous.”

“Wait, you’re not out yet, are you?”

“No” I whispered “I’m not even sure what I am,”

“When did we start being more than friends?”

“2009.”

He looked back up to my face. “Are we still more than friends now?”

“We were, before, the accident I mean. We didn't label anything and we didn't tell anyone. Something, well several things actually, happened. Things were really bad for a while, it almost destroyed us. Since then we are more than friends in private, but not in public.”

“So, we didn't tell anyone, meaning I had to be closeted again?” I tightly pursed my lips. “Wow, I was so ashamed of myself. I mean I struggled from 12-18 to come out,”

My eyes became glossy. “I know, you're the first “out” person I’d met.”

Phil looked around the flat, “you've hidden anything that may have hinted that we were together, haven't you?”

“Yeah, I wasn't sure what to do. The doctors said it would be best.”

“That’s what’s in the locked room?”

“Yes, it is also our office.”

“We work together, I know that, what do we do?”

“Phil, now that you know, about us I mean,” I paused. “I think it’s time to know the rest,” I got up and got my laptop. Maybe this was too much too fast, but I couldn't dodge the questions any longer. “If you remembered, you’d know how awful this is,” I pulled up “Hello Internet” and paused it before it could start.

“Oh my god, you’ve always been cute,”

“Shh, now, I won’t stay for this, I hate it.”

“So, you’re a Youtuber too?”

“Yes, I’ll be back in a few,” I came back after I knew enough time had passed. “You were the “really good friends,”

“Okay,”

I loaded up PINOF, “Watch this playlist, come find me when you are done,” I pressed play and left the room, hearing my younger version of myself say “Why do you always make cat whiskers on your face?” I went up to the gaming room, grabbed the copy of TABINOF, when to my room and laid down. I wasn’t sure how this was going to go. I was trying to take deep breaths to stave off the panic, in the process, I fell asleep.

When I opened my eyes, it was dark. “Shit.” I walked out to Phil, he wasn't in the lounge, I knew where he was. I realized that I probably hadn’t locked the gaming room and that's where he would be. I found him, staring at a picture of us in Japan, me kissing his cheek.

“Hey,”

“You're cute when you sleep, you know. Do you honestly think people believe we're just friends? I mean I don't remember and I can tell how much you love me when you look at me in videos.”

“What have you seen?”

“All of PINOF, Day in the life, some Sims and the Halloween baking video. The way you look at me, people know, believe me. If you think otherwise, you're just fooling yourself. Then I Googled, I saw Dailybooth, Formspring, then I made it up here the door was open. We have created a universe that is solely ours, haven't we?"

"We have,"

"I saw the "VDay" video, I had to after all the things I read. It wasn't a joke, was it?"

"No, it wasn't. It was really a valentine. It was also a very dark time in our history, I said some very stupid things."

"Yeah, I saw. Dan, are you afraid of your sexuality?"

"I don't even know what my sexuality is, Phil." I looked him in the eyes, "What I do know is that we work."

"You love me though, right?"

"More than you know, you saved my life."

"The stage I fell off of, that was our tour, right?"

I nodded handing him the book, "First performance,"

He thumbed through the book, "wow, we are very successful." He stood up and walked towards me. "This must be really hard for you,"

I snorted out a laugh, "well, it's not been easy, but I'm kinda attached to you if you couldn't tell."

"Yeah, I've gathered," he took my hands in his, "I know somewhere in here," he pointed at his head, "The Phil that knows you, misses you, very much."

I couldn't stop the tears from rolling down my face, "I miss him so much,"

"Please don't cry," he cradled my face with one of his hands, I leaned into his touch. "Dan, I know this may be weird, but can I kiss you?"

I leaned forward and my lips met his. It was a strange sensation, my lips knew his lips, but the hesitation wasn't something I was used too. I wrapped my arm around him and he started to kiss me harder. I pulled back and rested my head on his shoulder.

"I promise you, Dan. I will remember. I am so lucky that you love me,"

"I've always been confused about why you stayed with me, after everything,"

"Have you met you?"

"That's my point."

"Dan, I can't remember feeling what I did before, but I know already why I've stayed with you."

"It's really a brain fuck, being this close to you and missing you at the same time."

He nodded, "I'm pretty overwhelmed right now, I think I'll go to bed. This has been a lot."

"Okay, Phil, get some rest, I would hate for you to get worse," he nodded and started down the stairs.

Now that he knew everything, I didn't have to lock the gaming room anymore. He knew we were in love; that we were more than friends, he knew we were Dan and Phil, the iconic YouTuber Duo, and he knew that we also actually were best friends as well. I realized how tired I was, this had been a lot for me too. I wondered what questions he would have for me after he processed all the videos, all the Google searches, and that kiss. As much as I missed Phil, this was the most progress we had made since the start of this whole ordeal. Smiling to myself, I finally had hope.

I woke up to Phil groaning loudly. "Shit," I got up and walked to his room, his door was open. "Hey, are you okay?"

"Dan, can you bring me coffee? I really don't want to get up." His arm was a crossed his face.

"Do you have a headache?"

"No, not really. Something feels off. My nose hurts."

"I'm sorry, I'll be right back with some coffee."

He moved his arm and looked at me suspiciously, "Really?"

"Yeah, but don't do that again, okay? You woke me up and I thought you needed my help."

"Well, I do! Plus, you know If you make it, I won't steal your Shreddies."

I scoffed, "Yeah, yeah. You and your cereal stealing," I had made it halfway to the kitchen before it dawned on me. "Oh my god," I ran back to his room.

"What's wrong?"

"Phil?" I asked tentatively.

"What is it?" He had sat up.

"You remember me?"

"What's gotten into you? Of course, I," suddenly Phil froze, "Dan? Why are we at home? What happened? What about TATINOF?"

I jumped on the bed pulling him into a quick hug and forceful kiss.

"You remember."

"Oh my God, I fell off the stage, didn't I?"

"Yes, you nutter, you've caused quite the drama,"

"What happened?"

"You fell, broke your nose, cracked your head open. You couldn't remember me, us, YouTube, I mean at all Phil."

"Really?" I nodded, "Are people mad?"

"I've no idea, I haven't been online at all for a few weeks."

"Weeks? It's been weeks? I fell off a stage and had to be taken by ambulance to hospital and you haven't said anything to them? Oh my God, Dan."

"I'm sorry, okay. I was dealing with my own shit, yeah? It felt like a lifetime to me, I had to explain everything to you, Phil, I mean everything. Us, the “vday” video, YouTube, all of it. I had to relive all that shit, so forgive me for being distracted. "

He leaned over and kissed me and said, "I'm sure that must have sucked."

"Yeah, it was difficult." I rubbed the back of my neck, "He, well you, I guess, asked me why we weren't, like why we were "just best friends."

"Oh," he took my hand, "it's okay Dan,"

"But it's not, not really. You pointed out that I had forced you back into the closet because I can't figure out my shit."

"Did I say it like that?"

"No, but you weren't pleased."

"Dan, I don't care about that, you know that right?"

"How could you not?"

"I love you, Dan. I wouldn't ever want to hurt you. In the earlier years, after all of that stuff, I knew you weren't ready. I accepted it then."

"Phil, that,"

He continued, "I also accepted that you may never be ready, but having to act like you were only my "best friend" in front of people never bothered me. Okay, maybe a little, at first, but Dan, you are my best friend. You also are a person I get to hold and kiss and share my dreams with. No memory me didn't know everything when he made that comment, he didn't know how important privacy is to us, or what would happen even if you were ready to be out. He didn't have the whole story. I would never force you to come out for me, I don't have a right to. You come out when you're ready, it's no one else's business. Do it when you are ready."

"I love you, Phil Lester "

"I love you too, I'm sorry I forgot you, us, everything."

“I'm just glad you remember now,"

"Can we still do the rest of the tour?"

"Ah, maybe, I canceled it."

"What? Why?"

"Phil, you thought it was 2008."

"Oh, wow. I don't anymore though, I want to continue."

"Do you think we should?"

"Of course, we wrote a book and were going to tour it, I had an accident but I remember now, there’s no reason not to."

"I'll call everyone later,"

"Good. So, about that coffee?"

“Get coffee yourself, you spoon, and stay out of my Shreddies.”

Bingo Card:

Amnesia

TABINOF

Vday Video

#pff bingo 2019 #phanfiction

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freedom-shamrock · 6 years

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Chai Tea and Fresh Starts - Chapter 4

Also on AO3

|<< First Chapter << Previous Chapter Slightly late Lukanette week, prompt 2 - family

At the knock at the door, Marinette's head snapped up and she looked at her maman before glancing at her papa. "You're both going to behave, right? You promised."

Papa grinned at her. "Sweetheart, we just want to get to know the boy."

She scowled a moment. "No intrusive questions about his future plans or his intentions toward me. Got it?"

"He's learned his lesson," Maman said softly. "Haven't you, Tom?"

Papa waved his hands. "I'll do my best to remember that you're too young to settle down." He tipped his head toward the door. "You gonna let him in?"

Marinette scampered to the door and opened it to find an anxious Luka on the other side. "Hi!" She gave him a dorky little wave. "Oh, wow, you look nice." He'd always been pretty casual, but today, he'd swapped his jeans for dress pants and his hoodie for a sport coat over a solid colored t-shirt.

"I'm trying to impress your parents," he said with a smile. "I don't want them to tell me to buzz off, you know."

"That would be utterly out of character for them," Marinette said with a giggle, thinking about the brief time her parents were actively shipping her with Chat Noir. She reached out and took his hand, "And they've met you before."

"Yeah, but that was quick and in passing. This feels a lot more important." He shrugged, letting her tug him into the apartment. Her parents were standing near the kitchen table, her papa's arm around her maman's shoulders, and looking entirely too pleased. "Maman, Papa, this is Luka. You met him a couple weeks ago when he picked me up for a date for the cafe over in Ménilmontant."

"It's so nice to see you again, Luka," her maman said. "Please call me Sabine." She grinned. "So I guess that cafe date went well, then?"

Luka beamed at her maman. "Oh yes. It was a really nice afternoon."

"Was that the place in the old Paris Commune area?" Papa asked. "What's it like?" He glanced at Marinette and rolled his eyes. "My cupcake wouldn't tell me a thing afterward."

"It's one of my favorite places to see live music," Luka explained, his expression excited and bright. It was fun to watch him talk about music. "It's a smaller venue, so you get a more intimate experience, where the musician and the audience really connect and play off each other. You can't get that in the bigger settings."

Marinette moved them over to the table, hoping that getting to the dinner part of the evening would ease some of the awkwardness she was feeling about all of this.

"Music is important to you, then?" her maman asked, stepping away from Papa to move the last few things to the table before taking a seat.

"Oh yes, it's my passion. Kind of like design is for Marinette." He gave her hand a squeeze.

"Are you hoping to turn it into a career, then, too?" Papa asked, and she held her breath, a little worried he was going back into papa-bear mode, all concerned about how this boy would take care of her if they ended up together.

Luka nodded. "Definitely, but trust me, I know that only a tiny percentage of musicians get huge like Jagged Stone. I like a lot of different options in music, and while I enjoy performing, writing is where my heart truly lies. TV and movie soundtrack work can be pretty stable, if you work it right, and those kinds of jobs can leave enough time to work on my own projects. There's a lot of crossover in both networks so my freelance stuff can influence the day job, and vice versa."

Papa looked surprised. "You've really thought this through, haven't you."

"Oh yes sir," Luka nodded. "My ma is super free-spirited, but she's also made sure Juleka and I think about what it takes to actually live the kind of life we want."

"That makes sense," Papa said.

The remainder of the evening passed without anything too stressful or embarrassing happening. Maman wouldn't let Luka leave without a hug, and Papa's parting shot was a request to see Luka around more often. She walked him down to the street level in silence, thinking about all the things that could have gone wrong along with the awkwardness of her parents retelling Babynette stories.

"I'd say that went pretty well," Luka said, leaning against the door jamb rather than crossing the threshold. "I like your parents."

She smiled up at him, relieved that they hadn't been too much. "They like you, too."

He reached out and tucked the little section of hair hanging in front of her ear, behind it, making her stomach flop over pleasantly. "I know neither of us have been in a hurry to put a label on what we're doing, what we are. And I'm okay with that if that's what you want," he added quickly.

"Would you prefer a label?" she asked.

He took a slow breath, then nodded. "But like I said, we don't have to, if you'd rather not. Or if it's too soon." He took one of her hands in his. "The last thing I want is to push you away because I'm impatient."

Her cheeks hurt from smiling. This boy was so sweet, and she was really glad she'd let herself see that and take a chance with him. "I'll let you know if you're pushing or making me uncomfortable, okay?"

He nodded quickly.

"So… we're obviously dating," she started. "What with all the dates we've gone on."

"Yeah," he said, a happy smile breaking over his face. "Does this mean I get to call you my girlfriend?"

"I'd like that." A giggle of pure happiness sneaked it's way out, and she looked down at their feet. "Especially if it means I get to call you my boyfriend."

"I love that title, coming from you, anyway." Without stepping closer, he leaned down to kiss her high on the cheek.

"Um… I know some people are okay dating multiple people at a time." She'd been there when Rose and Juleka discussed the terms and boundaries of their relationship, allowing Rose to date both Juleka and Prince Ali. At first she'd been shocked, but they were her friends and seemed okay with it. At Tikki's suggestion, she did a bit of research on poly relationships so she could be supportive.

"Oh." His eyes went wide in surprise. "Is that… is it something you want?"

She shook her head quickly. "No. The opposite, actually. I mean, I guess we could revisit it later." She didn't want to be closed-minded, but she was too new at all of this to know what all she wanted. "But I've never dated anyone before, and I'd like us to just date each other for now. If that's okay?"

He sighed, nodding. "That's perfect, actually. I'll be honest, I'm not sure I'm cut out for poly or open relationships. I kind of want you to myself… and that probably makes me sound like an awful jealous boyfriend." He frowned.

"It doesn't," she insisted, catching his hand when he started to let go of hers. "I mean, I feel the same way."

"Oh." His pale cheeks went pink as he smiled at her. "Well that's okay, then." He gestured to the street. "I should probably go. But, can we face time later? I want to see that design you were working on earlier. And we can figure out if we can get together sometime this week."

"Yeah. That would be good." She caught her lower lip with her teeth, and looked up at him. "Can I have a goodnight kiss?" she asked. Up until now they'd mostly hugged, held hands, and stuck to cheek kisses.

He held her eyes as he leaned in, closing them only at the last moment before their lips brushed together. It was light and sweet, a perfect first kiss. "Goodnight Nette," he whispered.

Marinette giddily hugged herself before rejoining her parents upstairs.

Check out Chapter 5 >>>

#Miraculous Ladybug #fanfic #Lukanette #Lukanette Week #My Writing #Chai Tea and Fresh Starts

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gwendre-simoneau · 5 years

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Chapter 5

Jennet came to with a gasp. Too late, she wondered if she should have pretended to still be asleep. She might have been able to overhear some valuable information. Then again, that wasn't her style. Her style was more of the "punch first, ask questions later" variety.

Which was hard to do when you were tied up.

She was in the hut from earlier, that was for sure, seated on the rough wooden floor. She could feel Tamlin leaning against her back. Judging by his position, he was also tied up, and seemed to still be unconscious. She felt along the knot binding her wrists - it was tied well. The thin rope cut painfully into her skin. Her feet were free, oddly, but she wasn't going anywhere until Tamlin was roused.

The room hadn't changed much since her stealthy peek in the window earlier that morning. It was fairly small, not much bigger than her bedroom back at the castle, but a few doors to the side (each with its own doggy-door flap) hinted at more space. The curtains were shut now, although light still trickled through.

The wizard stranger himself was back at the desk to her right, sitting in a wheeled wooden desk chair and scratching away with a quill. When he heard Jennet stir, he put the quill down and swivelled around slowly.

Jennet watched him carefully.

He watched her back.

She cleared her throat.

He frowned disapprovingly.

Jennet snorted. "Alright, what are you doing?"

"This is a negotiation, is it not?"

"Uh…" Negotiation? Maybe if she was allowed to use her sword as a talking point. Where were her weapons, anyway? Did this pompous dung heap leave them back at the stable? Great. Maybe it would be best to go along with him for now. "Sure. Negotiation." Hiding her hands from the wizard, she poked Tamlin in the back. He'd at least be better at the talking part. But he didn't stir.

"Then I already have the upper hand." He smiled and leaned back. "First of all, I chose the setting. Second, you spoke first." He folded his hands in front of him. "Clearly you haven't been trained in the art of business."

"Yeah? So? There's a ton of good arts." Poke.

"None as lucrative as this."

Finally hearing Tamlin groan behind her, Jennet scanned the room again. "Hey, where's the dog?" she asked.

Their captor smiled. "Safe."

Tamlin tensed and spoke up. "Where. Is. The dog."

Jennet frowned, twisting around to look at her partner. "No need to act all dangerous. I mean, it is his dog."

"Can he afford to feed her? Let alone twelve of them? He's not a good dog parent!"

"Let's not jump to conclusions," the man said, standing up. Jennet held back the instinct to jump up as well. There didn't seem to be any immediate danger, strangely enough. But if he makes one wrong move…

The man walked to one of the side doors and opened it, whistling. A few seconds later, three sleepy-looking corgis trotted out. Two of them immediately flopped down and went back to sleep while the third started snuffling around Jennet and Tamlin. None of them were Meg.

"The others are in there," he said. "I'd let you check for yourselves, but I don't exactly want you mobile right now."

"What are you doing with these corgis?" Tamlin asked. "And what's with all the sneaking around?"

While they talked, Jennet took another look around the room. It was definitely some kind of office. Cupboards and shelves lined most of the free walls, with many of the visible shelves stacked full of leather-bound books. She read some of their titles - Management Basics, Industry Dictionary, Business Operations, Marketing Strategy… I'm detecting a theme, she mused. She shifted subtly in her binds, trying to look around for her weapons. Maybe he really didn't bring them. At least Tamlin still had his magic.

"So, wait," Tamlin was saying as the curious corgi wedged itself under a cabinet, "you made the corgis big on purpose?"

"Well," the man said, folding his hands and walking over to a rolling chalkboard covered in calculations Jennet had no hope of understanding, "bigger is better, right? It was a business idea. A tough one to get off the ground on my own." He shot a look at them. "And you corporate spies aren't getting any of my corporate secrets."

Jennet scoffed. "Hey, see that book over there?" She pointed to the end of the bookshelf with a toe.

The man frowned. "The… dictionary?"

"Yeah. Do me a favour and look up 'corporation'. Pretty sure you need more than one person for that."

His jaw twitched.

Tamlin pushed his shoulder subtly into her back. Jennet bit back her next burn to let him have a try.

"So you need funds, right?" Tamlin asked. "To hire people? That's actually why we wanted to contact you! We're investors! And we think your project is very… lucrative-looking. And… financially feasible."

The man's demeanour shifted instantly. "Ah! Well, I suppose it wouldn't hurt to give you my pitch - I do have a captive audience, after all." He grinned slyly, and after a second, Jennet realized he was waiting for a laugh. She forced a chuckle that came out sounding completely fake, but he either bought it or didn't care.

The man turned around and started wiping the chalkboard clean. "They've already heard the first line," he muttered to himself. "But that's okay. Don't get nervous. Just… start over. Maybe they forgot."

While he was distracted, Jennet twisted around to finally make eye contact with Tamlin. She nodded down at their wrists and raised her eyebrows. Nervously, Tamlin shook his head.

She noticed that, while her hands were bound in thin rope, his were locked in thick metal manacles. Jennet touched them lightly, and they burned at the touch with something other than heat.

"No magic?" she mouthed. Tamlin shook his head again.

They both got back into position as the man turned around again. Jennet already felt more vulnerable.

"Everyone knows that bigger is better," the man began. He spread his hands in the air to highlight his words, a practised smile fixed on his face. "That's why we here at GrowCo want to give you more gain for your gold. No more throwing money away!" He plucked a bag of coins from his desk and dropped it on the floor. "When your workers are twice the size of a normal man, they get more done for the same wage."

Jennet assumed Tamlin was having the same trouble she was at hiding a look of incredulity.

"Hi, I'm Mason Piers from GrowCo, and I'm going to share with you how to make this revolutionary idea a reality." He winked, and his teeth actually flashed. Ugh. Showy magic. I hate these kinds of wizards.

"Before we dive in, are you comfortable? Can I get you anything?" Mason looked at the pair still bound back-to-back on the wooden floor.

"…Coffee?" Jennet tried.

"Absolutely."

Tamlin jingled his manacles slightly. "And a key for me, please."

Mason looked up from the coffee cup that was magically filling up. "I beg your pardon?" he asked lightly.

"A tea for me."

"Safe choice." He grinned and got another cup. Tamlin sighed softly.

Mason put the filled cups down in front of them. Jennet nudged hers with a foot, being unable to reach it with anything else, then glanced up at him with eyebrows raised. Mason strode back to the board, his cloak billowing. "Let's continue."

"I really did want some tea," Tamlin murmured, looking forlornly at his cup.

"Productivity. Return on investment. These are things you, as a savvy business owner, want - nay, need. You dream of a more efficient workforce, and with a small investment, I can bring those dreams to life - and they'll be larger than life!"

Another sly grin. Another fake laugh.

"Let's dip into the numbers, shall we? In exchange for ten percent equity in GrowCo, I only ask for 5000 gold pieces." He looked at them, smiling over his steepled fingers. "Now, usually I don't bring this up, but given your young age… do you two even have gold?"

"Hang on," said Tamlin. "We get to ask questions first. What will you use the capital for?"

"Research and development. We've had some… setbacks in that area. While testing on corgis, we've learned that they attract a certain kind of magic that we didn't anticipate."

"Royal we?" Jennet asked flatly.

He shuffled his feet awkwardly. "It is just me at the moment."

"So, what was the setback, exactly?" Tamlin asked.

Mason froze. "Again, corporate secrets."

Jennet scoffed. "Again, not a corporation. Pretty sure you're just a small business."

He ground his teeth. "May I ask my question now? Are you actually investors? Do you have any capital at all?"

Tamlin sighed dramatically. "You got us. Wow, guess we weren't sneaky enough."

"I'm done with you." Mason held a glowing hand out, aiming at Tamlin.

Action, finally. "Nope." Jennet pushed her back against Tamlin's to lever herself upright, stepping in front of Tamlin and instinctively trying to bring her hands up to prepare for an unarmed fight. To her surprise, it worked. The rope - twine, really - snapped. Tamlin whooped.

Mason hesitated, frowning at her.

She smirked. "Guess you underestimated my strength, huh?"

"It was a calculated risk," he growled. "I never use more resources than necessary. Keeps costs down."

"Well," Jennet said, reaching to the side for a makeshift weapon, anything really, "looks like you're just another startup business that can't get off the ground."

"Eighty percent fail within the first year," Tamlin piped up from the floor behind Jennet.

Mason slowly lowered his hand and tilted his head to the side. "You know why that is? Most entrepreneurs are only the 'ideas guy', but that's not enough. You need someone who can put the ideas into action."

Jennet grabbed a hardbound book - Marketing Research for Jesters - and brandished it like an awkward club.

"Fortunately for me," Mason continued, "I'm not just the ideas guy. I'm also the execution guy." He smiled and raised his hand again, clenching his fist. The nails pinning his posters to the wall came undone and hovered in place, leaving the papers to flutter to the ground. "Your execution, in this case." He swept his hand, and the nails flew point-first at Jennet and Tamlin.

#misfits and legends

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seokjins · 6 years

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I’m not the original anon but I loved reading that so much, please do their strengths! It’s really interesting to hear about this stuff from people who know what they’re talking about

I’m a different anon but I’d be interested in reading what you think their strengths are if you feel like sharing.

AAAAA wow thank you so much !!! i will try to do my best, but it’s very hard to talk about this kind of stuff because, as i mentioned in my first post, i’m not there for the rehearsal process.

this affects my ability to talk about their strengths bc im not able to see them build a piece from the ground up. one of the things i admire the most + dancers hold to high regard is the ability to pick up choreography, how fast they can adapt to the style, and how quickly they reach a performance-ready image. additionally there’s rehearsal attitudes, how focused one can be, and how willing a dancer is to accept corrections + self correct + work w the choreographer

this said .. !

jin

his work ethic. it’s no secret that even from AHL and pre-debut days, jin has always been one of the hardest workers in terms of his dancing ability compared to the other members. to come from a NON DANCING background for the majority of his life (it gets harder to start picking things up the older you get due to habits and posture that ur body becomes used to) and to be able to pull off any single one of bts’ dances WITHOUT standing out and looking like a true professional is something that i greatly admire. with all my dance experience, albeit in ballet, i can’t dance the way he did in NMD even now. many many many idols and dancers will never reach his level of proficiency/energy/attitude in that piece as well.

currently i would say his greatest strength is probably his upper body movement. the only other member that rivals his loose flow is hoseok (re: mic drop dance break w the body rolls), as well as his incredible ballon. he has this ability to seem suspended when he’s doing certain dances … !!!

he also has incredible stamina. he is stable when he sings and dances, and often isn’t pitchy or sounding super out of breath. compared to 99% of the population, this is a talent and skill that many don’t have LOL this can only come from his natural altheticism and his work ethic due to hours and hours of practice ! he also always appears at ease when he dances (unless the song is an “edgy” or “angry” song), which is difficult to accomplish TT

yoongi

his strength as an overall dancer! he’s not just a one-trick pony. he doesn’t have any tricks (except for the recent double endehans that we saw in tokyo “so what”??????omg) but he excels in every single bts dance . there is always a point/move that he does better than his members. for a non dancer, he has such innate ability to move and feel the music, something that is rare for people just breaking into the dancing scene like he was pre-debut.

his footwork in dope is unparalleled. his stylistic choices in fake love r so fitting and unique and fjalsdhgalkhg i can’t praise him enough for opening himself up mentally (because dance is also greatly taxing on ur BRAIN) and getting to a place where it seems judgement has decreased on his OG dance abilities. this allows him more freedom in molding to new pieces and making sure he excels in them !!!!!

namjoon

wowowowowow namjoon also has unbelievable work ethic. i cannot imagine have a stiff, non-dancer’s body (pre-debut) shape itself into the Dancing Machine it is now. there are people who are born to dance, have movement sewn into their bones, but namjoon wasn’t given all of that and yet he continued to work until he found his own rhythm.

YES he is tall, and YES that means he has to move his body faster than everyone else in order to stay on the music, and YES that means when the group cleans a piece he has to bend lower than the others just to be on their same level – a task that can build exhaustion when it’s done over and over the course of a song – but YES he manages to pull it off EVERY TIME.

i cannot believe the amount of growth i’ve seen from him in all different styles. i could never imagine the hard hitting NMD dancer being able to do spring day or, an even better example, FAKE LOVE !!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! he is light in the chorus section (so less resistance compared to JM or JK) but then he contrasts that immediately after w bound-flow, showing innate understanding that dance cannot all be one energy level; you need to have contrast in order to give impact to important parts & keep the audience engaged. otherwise if U attack a piece w the same energy the whole time, it will actually end up looking flat and boring, like all the movements are the same since they will read the same way to the crowd

hoseok

i cannot cannot cannot talk about hoseok enough. for me his greatest strength is his performance quality. ignoring everything else he does so well, i’m gonna cut straight to the chase and say he’s the best dance performer in bts. when he dances – between rehearsal and the stage – there is a clear difference; he’s engaged in both, but there’s a level of freedom that he allows himself which demonstrates his connection to the audience.

he’s very focused on what he looks like in the mirror during practice, but like all great performers, he throws the mindset of “fix technique fix technique fix technique” away once there is an audience and actively invites them to join in on his joy. he has pure passion in his heart for his craft, and it’s never been more clear. the love he has for his art is breathtaking. his fearlessness in switching styles; he’s an absolute chameleon. from spring day to NMD to seo taiji, i’ve never seen him falter before, and all topped off w the most electric connection to the crowd

like WOW is that breathtaking. being confident in choreography is one thing, but going above and beyond by pushing himself to be in performance mode (a whole beast and a half on its own) as much as possible requires more space within himself that i’m lacking from the other members. YES he is an idol, and he is very aware of this business of tricks, but he never forgets that dance speaks it own language, that it has its own rules, that it possesses his body and governs his movements the minute he sets foot on that stage. i can’t even explain the sheer talent thats in him when it comes to this aspect

jimin

oh jimin TT his greatest strength is style. i know i talk a lot about how he doesn’t let go enough of it to really excel in all sorts of genres, but what he’s built from a background in classical-esque styles is incredibly admirable. i’m not sure i would be able to do what he did, coming off of 14 yrs of ballet and not much else. to establish himself pre-debut/debut as a member of dance line in a COMPLETELY different style is so unbelievable to me. he knows his body and he knows how to push his body to get the results he wants

i mean . obviously bts are overworking themselves but to have the mental strength to push thru and continuously crank out all these different pieces w a touch that’s uniquely Jimin™ is smth you can’t deny !!! homeboy knows what lines look good on him, and he adapts the choreography to best suit his body

he also is a great camera fiend. this is more of an industry dancer situation (since great dancers ≠ industry dancers) where his idol status comes into play, but there is a good reason why his fancams get so many views on music shows ! he knows what the camera wants ! he knows how to be sexy ! he knows how to change his image ! he knows how to work with what he’s given and make a whole new meal out of that and its just ! wow ! fuckn yum !

taehyung

ok so let’s talk tae’s upper body. let’s talk . tae’s upper body .

he has such control and awareness over his movements, especially his body rolls. he knows how to make his torso fluid, which is something a lot of the members actively struggle with today. he has such ?? nuanced articulation thru his chest that is typically absent from male dancers , so it’s always a treat to watch him perform

additionally he has great confidence and performance aura. as u can tell from singularity or stigma stages, he also (like jimin) knows how to work a camera well. but this also translates to his dancing. while he can’t catch all the footwork that others may, he understands that facials and his upper body will make up for the deficit.

i’ve said this before but if you want to see how good of a technician a dancer is, you look at their legs and feet. if you want to see how good of a performer they are, you look at their upper body (arms too) . he knows how to make an impact w the way he moves & it’s so clear in the division of his energy thru his body (more towards his chest since) so !

jungkook

for me JK’s strength is how solid he is as a dancer. while he doesn’t excel at a particular style or have a Thing™ which sets him apart from the group, he does exactly what he’s given and he does it well. he works hard. he’s undeniably clean. there’s never a moment where his limbs are flopping around for no reason, and his energy is always portioned exactly where it needs to be. this innate cleanness and confidence in his ability is what allows him to move quickly and look like it’s not costing him much energy

he also has incredible stamina TT i can’t even begin to explain ???begin????him singing it live???WITH THAT FOOTWORK?????? god

his footwork is so strong. i would argue the strongest in bts ... the speed and the sharpness of what i’ve seen him do . while singing. is unbelievable. he is able to keep his wits about himself when the choreography is fast shows just how relaxed he is when he dances. he doesn’t feel the need to rush because he knows he’s just . gonna do everything right LOL (at least that’s the impression i’m getting)

again it’s just so hard to say what his tru strength it without seeing him in rehearsal. this is becoz the level of dancing ability in bts is so high already TT so the basis of my comments are a little redundant since i’m comparing members to members instead of members to regular people lmaoo

#anon #replies: inbox #dance tag #long post --#i hope this was helpful TT #took me forever to write out lmao and apologies for typos im dead inside maybe

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sweetiepie08 · 6 years

Text

Everything Stays (Chapter 1)

Mushroom War au/Adventure Time au (can’t decide on an au name)

Inspired by Simon & Marcy’s relationship in Adventure Time

Héctor can’t remember how he found the amulet or why it’s chosen him, but it saved him and his daughter when the end of the world came. As he and Coco wander through the wreckage, he can feel the amulet’s power growing and trying to creep into his mind. He knows it’s slowly taking over despite his attempts to fight, but he must hang on for Coco.

Edit: added link to the song at the end.

Chapter 1. Chapter 2.

Héctor found himself standing on the steps of the Auditorio Nacional, though not in the way he ever imagined. He dreamed of playing here one day as a professional musician, not assessing if the roof looked stable or how well the doors would hold against attack. Still, it looked sturdy and would make a good shelter for the time being, so long as there were no surprises inside.

“What do you think, Coco?” Héctor asked, jostling her awake. “It’d make a pretty good home for a while, right?” It was their best option anyway. It was getting dark, and night was the worst time to be outside. “Think you can walk?” Her little legs gave out a few hours ago. Hopefully they’d recovered by now.

Coco flopped her head into the crook of his neck and mumbled her answer which seemed to be in the affirmative. He let her slide out of his arms and held her hand as they climbed the steps. The locks were weak from disrepair, which meant they’d have to reinforce the doors once inside.

“Don’t go running off, Coco,” Héctor said as he jammed a long pipe between the door handles. “We don’t know what’s in here yet.”

He kept his hand clasped tightly around hers as they explored. They checked every inch to make sure their new hideaway was free of Monsters as Coco called them. She wasn’t far off. He didn’t have the heart to tell her what the Monsters once were.

The sadness crept in his mind as they wandered around. This place, though now falling to shambles from surviving the Mushroom War and left neglected for some length of time (he’d lost track of the days), still had some beauty to it. He only wished he could have seen it in its prime. It must have been magnificent. At least he got to see the pipe organ, though playing would attract too much attention. It was probably horribly out of tune anyway.

That the green room still had big, comfy couches felt like a miracle. At least his aching back would get some relief for now. Twenty Seven years old and already complaining about my back, he thought with a smirk. After everything that’d happened, this shouldn’t be such a surprise, but it was hard letting go of the old normality.

“Papá, there’s a fire place,” Coco pointed out.

Ah, another perk. Coco hated the dark now, and frankly, so did he.

Héctor set his backpack down on a table and rummaged around for the matches.

“Why don’t you use your magic, Papá?” Coco asked as she climbed on one of the sofas.

Héctor’s hands froze in the bag and he suddenly became very aware of the weight he wore around his neck. He turned to her with an easy smile and said, “Don’t want to waste it, m’ija. We need to save that for when it’s really important.”

After Héctor got the fire going, they ate some of their rations for supper. Coco then curled up in his lap and asked for a story. She liked the silly ones. In truth, he just retold episodes of cartoons from his childhood, or at least what he could recall from them. He’d have to make up some as he went, but she always enjoyed it and so did he. It was good for the both of them to forget for a while.

Soon enough, she was fast asleep. Héctor lay on the couch with his daughter’s head on his chest. He combed his fingers through her hair and stared at the ceiling as he tried to keep his thoughts in check. He had to try very hard not to think of it, not to remember, but his old life was hard to forget in this room. It brought memories of him and Ernesto talking for hours about what their lived would be like once they became famous musicians. When they were younger, their fantasies usually revolved around playing huge, sell-out shows in iconic venues around the world, attending wild, star-studded parties, making ridiculous backstage demands just to see if they’d really happen… Then, when they were older, their thoughts turned to making their mark on music history, inspiring young musicians just like them, and for Héctor, providing the best life possible for his girls.

Well, Ernesto, I finally made it. I hope this is close enough for you. It was funny, really. Ernesto was always trying to get him to tour Mexico, and now he finally had.

It wasn’t as if there’d be an audience to play for anyway. After months of traveling, trying to stay ahead of the Monsters and searching someone, anyone who could help, they found nothing. Coco was the only other human he’d seen since that day. As far as he could tell, he and Coco were the only people left in Mexico, possibly even the world. Though he refused to believe the latter. There must have been a few people like them who got lucky.

That day played out like a nightmare. The bright green mushroom cloud appeared in the sky. According to the news, it could be seen from all over the world. People were told to stay indoors, to not go outside for anything. Imelda, however, insisted on doing just that. Her brothers had gone out before the cloud appeared and hadn’t come home. Héctor begged her not to go, but she was determined to make sure her brothers were safe. She told him to stay home and protect Coco. She kissed him, and that was the last time he saw her, or at least as she was.

After she left, a flash emitted from the cloud. Instinctually, Héctor shielded Coco with his body. When they came to, the Santa Cecelia they knew was gone. Buildings were crumbling, the sky was filled with black clouds, and the citizens had been turned into Things. Zombies wasn’t the right word for them. They were strange, oozing slime monsters, the same green as the cloud which no longer loomed over the world. They weren’t stable, if the puddles of green goo he found on his travels were any indication, but how long the Monsters lasted seemed to vary. He didn’t know what they were or how this was possible, but he at least knew that they burned. Sometimes, late at night, when his thoughts turned as dark as the clouds that now permanently hung in the air, he wondered how many friends and family he had to burn in order for he and Coco to make their escape.

Héctor blinked a few times, trying to refocus his eyes. They drifted to a lounge chair across the room.

That would burn up nicely.

His heart stopped and he looked down at his daughter sleeping in his arms. No, not now.

It wouldn’t take much. Just a little spark.

Stop it.

It didn’t stop. An image came to his mind. A little flame slowly overtaking the chair, the fabric burning and peeling away, the stuffing melting and sinking down to the wooden supports, the fire consuming it until it was nothing but an ashen husk…

He felt his hands getting hot and stretched them as far away from Coco as possible. He closed his eyes and tried to pretend he was freezing in the artic. Imagining the harsh, cold air sometimes fought the thoughts long enough for his hands to cool.

The heat slowly disappeared from his palms. He tested them on the couch, and when he left no singe marks, he carefully picked up Coco and set her back down again on the cushions. She stirred a little in her sleep, but thankfully didn’t wake. He slipped out of the room. If he could help it, he always stepped away from Coco when his mind went like this.

He wandered the halls and tried to force his mind to think of anything else, but the voice in his head refused to be ignored. It tugged at his consciousness, showing him tantalizing images of everything around him engulfed in flame. A discarded mop’s handle crackling and splintering, an orange glow traveling up the stage curtain, rows of theater seats lighting up like matches…

His hand flew to his chest and he clenched his fist around the amulet hidden beneath his shirt. He couldn’t recall what it was or why he had it. He suspected it took that memory from him like it slowly took away parts of his mind. He only knew he hadn’t had these thoughts before it latched on to him. It demanded fire from him. For a time, it was satisfied with the monsters he had to burn to survive, but the monsters were starting to disappear and it wanted more. It wanted a host, it wanted him.

Why me? he often wondered. Why hadn’t it been found by a scientist or archeologist, or someone with a chance in hell of knowing what it was and how to control it.

I saved you, it told him. I saved your girl. You owe me.

“No. I am in control.”

Are you?

“I won’t feed you. You won’t get what you want from me.”

He’d tried at first. He tried sneaking away and setting small fires to silence it, ones that would easily burn out on their own and leave no extra damage. It didn’t like that. It wanted to spread, to consume, and every time he used his powers, he found himself enjoying the flames in a way that terrified him.

When he had to go all out, when he had to fight to protect his daughter, he opened the door to let the voice creep in just a bit more. It would get stronger, whisper to him more frequently. He thought he could control it. The first time, when he and Coco made their escape from Santa Cecelia, he didn’t even know it was there. Each time after, it would be helpful, giving him ideas on how to fight and stay alive. But then, he let it in too much.

He couldn’t remember what exactly happened. He just opened his eyes and saw Coco crying from her hiding place. From the smoldering puddles of green all around him, he deduced that he’d just fought off a swarm of monsters. He reached for her, but she pushed him away. She said he scared her. That was when he saw the burn on her arm.

Without hesitation, he tore the amulet off and threw it in a pile of wreckage. Almost immediately after, he fell to the ground in agony. He could feel the flesh on his back burning, melting away. It was unlike any pain he’d ever experienced. Somehow, he knew the source. It came from the wounds he should have sustained in the flash. He wasn’t sure how long it took, but Coco slipped the amulet back around his neck and the pain disappeared.

If the situation had been different, he would have rather died than become the world-burning maniac the amulet wanted him to be, but Coco needed him. When he put it back on, he could swear the thing felt smug. It knew it had him trapped.

You won’t survive without me, it told him. You and your little girl would be dead if not for me.

And so he was forced to continue wearing it, hosting it, letting it whisper in his mind. But he had one thing over the amulet. It couldn’t start fires on its own. It needed Héctor as much as he needed it. He could resist its influence and exert his will over it. The amulet would not use his hands to cause destruction.

What more is there to destroy? What kind of world are you trying to preserve?

“Shut up.”

Why fight? Look around you. The world is just kindling now. Just let loose one little spark and it will all go up in flames.

“I won’t do it. The world is still worth something.” He couldn’t become a monster too. Coco had no one else. He needed to protect her. He needed to hang on.

What? For the girl? Why? What future could she have here?

He couldn’t even respond. It was a question he turned over in his mind constantly. They would survive, that much was for certain, but to what end? What kind of world was Coco growing up in? How long could they last? What would they do with their lives now that the world was seemingly over?

There is no point. Burn it down. That’s all you can do.

“Never. I’m done arguing with you.”

The voice continued to try to make its point, but Héctor tried to block it out. He knew this would only lead to the amulet switching from the voice to images, but he’d been getting better at occupying himself with other things. He had a lot of practice ignoring things he didn’t want in his brain, this voice just happened to be more persistent. That was all.

Héctor found his way to the stage. He walked up the edge and sat down, letting his feet dangle over the orchestra pit. How many greats once performed here? He wondered. And how many were even still alive? These halls were made to be filled with music. Would they ever be again?

They won’t. They never will again.

Héctor sneered defiantly. We’ll see about that.

He had a song in his mind already, one he’d been mentally writing on their long journey. Even if he had no guitar, or partner, or even an audience to play for, he was still a musician. Music was what he was, how he sorted out the world, and he needed it now more than ever.

He took a breath and his voice filled the empty space.

“Socorro, is it just you and me in the wreckage of the world?

That must be so confusing for a little girl.”

You? You think you’re good enough? You’re only good for one thing.

“And I know you’re going to need me here with you,

But I’m losing myself and I’m afraid you’re going lose me too.”

You see, there’s no point in fighting.

“This magic keeps me alive, but it’s making me crazy,

And I need it to save you, but who’s going to save me?”

You are mine. I will take you eventually.

“Please forgive me for whatever I do,

When I don’t remember you.”

He continued singing his song, keeping his thoughts only on Coco until the voice ran out of things to say. Though he knew what came next. The amulet would show him images of fire and burning that gave him a twisted pleasure that he hated. He’d grown able to resist the temptation. He’d tell himself It’s not me. It’s the amulet, over and over until it gave up.

Today, it tried something new. It showed him Coco. It showed her running up to him with a smile on her face. He picked her up and gave her a toss. When he caught her, she was crying. He put her down and realized that his hands had burned through her dress and left large red marks on her skin. She ran from him. He tried to catch her by her hand, but he burned her again.

What might happen if you never use your fire? If you never get an outlet?

It continued to show him more visions, each worse than the last. Images of Coco and the fire twisted together in his mind. It repulsed him, it horrified him, and yet the flames… No, no it’s not me. It’s the amulet. He thought he might be sick.

Don’t you want to keep her safe? Isn’t she worth it?

He knew the price: another small piece of his mind to quiet the amulet for at least a while.

Isn’t she worth it? It asked again.

Yes, yes, of course she was. He’d give the world for her. What was one more piece of his mind?

He got up and started looking around. Surely, he’d be able to find a metal trash can somewhere. He was still in control, and he still refused to let the fire burn wildly.

That would do nicely, the voice told him as his eyes landed on some discarded set pieces.

Yes, yes they would, he thought as he imagined the flames crawling across the wood. Maybe he didn’t need the can. Maybe, it he dragged those outside and let them burn out on their own and if they didn’t… He could feel his hands heating. Small twin flames flickered in his palms.

Loud, childish sobs echoed through the halls, accompanied by cries of “Papá!” His hands instantly went cool again. Abandoning his task, Héctor ran down the halls in the direction of the green room where he left Coco. He found her wandering just outside.

“Coco, I’m here,” He said in a soothing tone and he knelt down beside her. “What’s the matter?”

She threw herself into his arms and tucked her head beneath his chin. “I woke up and you weren’t there. It was dark. I got scared.”

“It’s alright. I just went for a walk. I’m here now.” He picked her up and carried her back into the room. “Let both get some sleep, eh?”

He laid down on the couch with Coco still clinging to him around his neck. “Don’t leave again, Papá,” she demanded through slowing sobs.

“Never,” he answered, gently petting her hair. “Want me to sing for you?”

He felt her nod and began singing her a lullaby. He focused purely on the feeling of his daughter in his arms, the sound of her soft breathing, and the warmth of holding her close.

This was why he fought, why he clung to his mind, why he couldn’t fall for the amulets tricks. If he couldn’t do it for himself or the rest of the world, he’d do it for her. She was the world now, as far as he was concerned. He wouldn’t let his daughter grow up with a monster for a father.

“Papá,” Coco whispered, sleep in her voice, “I love you.”

“I love you too, Coco,” he whispered back as she drifted off. “My little flame.”

Song: I Remember You from the Adventure Time episode of the same name.

#coco #coco fanfiction #coco Pixar #hector rivera #coco rivera #coco au #adventure time au #mushroom war au #coco fanart #coco fandom #i remember you #everything stays #oopsie I made another au #and was supposed to be a oneshot #now its not #lol oops #sweetiepie writes

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taytaybooks · 7 years

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WHAT I LOVE ABOUT MUSICALS THREAD #2: AMÉLIE

In the previews where they each hold a prop on a pole and then all together the props assemble the fly they all sang about ahhh😍😍 it’s so clever

PROLOGUE: TIMES ARE HARD FOR DREAMERS

The instrumental- it’s so soothing

“I can see the world I’m dreeaming…all arouuund me”

The change from soothing instrumental to jaunty music 😍

WORLD’S BEST DAD

“As my heart fills with love” The “ba bums” and “ahhs” after that line to show her heartbeat ahh and how everyone (the ensemble) hide behind the door and comes out when they sing the “ahhs” for the heartbeat and how they dance oh this show is too much😍

“We can keep her heartbeat stable

Your school is the kitchen table now”

“Would you like to name him?”

“Fluffy”

*looks of disdain and confusion*

WORLD’S BEST FRIEND

The instrumental at the start😍

The fact that a grown man wears a fish costume on his head and sings onstage I mean wow😂

“Listen to your crazy mom droning on now I’m her bla bla bla bla bla” lmao

“Your parents are crazy

But you can count on meeee” the dancing in this scene oml and the fact that a man dressed as a fish holds a smaller fish and smacks it on the ground so it “flops around”

When the instrumental turns slow again😭 And it’s meant to be a sad part but the fish is scootering around on stage singing “goodbye” in a warbled voice😅

WORLD’S BEST MOM

“We’ll be spending the day at Notre Dame” I love how this is sung

“Now the whole world of Paris picks up speed” I love the way everyone on the train moves forward and backward to show the train’s movement

The “ahhs” before Amandine prays for a son

The nuns/holy people with outrageously huge hats😂 And then the holy person with a dinosaur head on his head😂😂

The dummy hitting Amandine and killing her😂😂 and the chalk on the backdrop depicting a dead silhouette with “mom” next to it

Her dad memorialising the mom with a gnome she hated😂😂😂

TIMES ARE HARD FOR DREAMERS

PIPPA SOO IN GENERAL TBH

“All of these towns I’ve never heard of racing paaaast”

“It isn’t what I have, it’s only what I have in store

That matters now, the past can only fade!”

“And I might be a dreamer

But it’s gotten me this far” this resonates with me idk why

“My own museum full of paintings I look through!

Where everything is clear!

It isn’t where I am

it’s only where I’ll go from here

That matters now!

And I am not afraaaid!

As everything I’ll ever need appears

This is how my world gets maaaaade” especially that last note😍

The set change right before the song finishes😍

GOING ROUND IN CIRCLES deserved to stay on the cast recording☕️🐸

THE COMMUTE

“Stopping atop St. Martin’s canal

Skipping a stooone”

“She cracks créme brûlée”

“And how many couples in Paris are having an orgasm right at this moment! ….Fifteen!” Because every Broadway show needs some nasty in there

“Later this evening her life will chanaaange”

THE BOTTLE DROPS

THE FACT THAT A FRIENDS CLIP IS PLAYING ON THE TV SET AHHHHH

Honestly the instrumental to this song and like every song is just so beautiful😍😍

“Fingers slip, a bottle drops, and falling in slow motion”

The instrumental change😍😍😍

“Slowly crack the treasure open”

“A watch that’s waiting to be wound

A treasure waiting to be found

I am Howard Carter stepping into Tutankhamen’s tomb” ahhh

And while the ensemble is speaking I love the small “Give back the box” and “I have to try” in the background

“If I did I could be like Lady Diiii!” That note tho

THREE FIGS

is so jaunty oml yes

“You’re my best friends inside the Seeeeeine”

“Figs all in a BUNCH” the way he says bunch cracks me up every time

“Figaro is bluuue

There’s nothing on his plate

What’s Lucien to doooo?

He finds the guy a date!“

THE GIRL WITH THE GLASS

“Why is it that someone so young and so full of life spends every night alone at her window?

…Unless all her friends are dwarves and I can’t see them"😂😂 good old Dufayel

“Are you an artist?

Every day I come to a canvas with palette and brush

and I ask myself the same question” shit just got deep guys

“Paintings, these paintings"😍

“But in the end it always comes down to…heeeeer”

“But the girl with the glass looks away”

“Just a young girl who doesn’t belong to anywhere,

anywheeeere or anyoooooone” this really shows how lost Amélie can be and its relatable af TBH

HOW TO TELL TIME

“Look down, Monsieur Bretodeau, doooown” I love how she says this honestly😍😂

“On the ledge, a metal box”

“Unlock the box”

“Here’s how to tell time

How to tell time

How to teeeeell

A cognac please!” This whole part is sung so well ahhh

TOUR DE FRANCE

So jaunty and upbeat I love it

“Listen to the squeak of the bakery cart

Leaving a trail of breadcrumbs”

“Looking through the glass

focused on the feast in the grocery window” I love the way she sings this gah Pippa you angel😍😍

“An envelope opens

A cat in a hallway

A filament flashes, flickers and dies

And there goes a hat

Thrown in the air

Thrown in the aiiir” The ensemble around them and the jazz hands ahhhh

“I can feel every stranger in Paris just waiting to collide

How a heart can pull like a moon as we circle each other

Then crashing together

We end up open wide"😍😍

The "ahhs” before she sings “I can see everything clearly now from heeeeere”

GOODBYE, AMÉLIE

The video showing Amélie doing good around the world😂😂😂

The fact that it’s sung be an Elton John lookalike like whattttt and also how the lookalike has a glittery suit and purple hair😂

“We’re an ocean of rowboats you decided to save” I just really like this line

The “oohs” in the background ahhh

Oh, where will we go

Oh, who will appease us” the way they sing this😍

“Saving orphans!

Stopping fires!

I’ve got the high notes and

I’m singing with the choir!

YEAAAAAAAH!” SHE GOT THE HIGH NOTES ALRIGHT DAMN GIRL

BACKYARD

“I’m thinking of shaving my head

And I really want to try crack” ok the fact that the Pippa Soo said this is explanation enough

“Dad you should come and visit me”

“Nope” so blunt😂

“You’re coming with me” cheeky Amélie

The gnome getting excited about going with the Stewardess mmhmmm

WHEN THE BOOTH GOES BRIGHT

I love how the ensemble dresses up and ‘takes photos’ during the song

“There’s the girl you were

There’s the trip abroad

There’s your father’s smile

There’s the face of God” this has like a really cool nostalgic feeling to it

“There’s when she said yes

There’s the next ten years

There’s the loneliness when she disappears” nostalgia and sadness😍

“What’s the use of trying to hide

Or tearing yourself in two” This seems literal and metaphorical and I love it

SISTER’S PICKLE

“You have to give it back to him. Or you could imagine relating to someone you never meet, build no relationship. Become a nun!”

*actually dresses up as a nun as a disguise to give the book back to Nino in a FUCKING sex shop ok then Amélie*

“Can I help you?”

“No just browsing"😂😂😂

BASICALLY THE WHOLE SONG LMAO

“He’ll think that I’m a nun

And I am not a nun

He’ll think that I am chaste

And I’m not that chaste

Or I could run awaaaay

Leave his book on the shelf

By the lube and the lingerieeee” out of context this is very weird but I love it😂

“It’s hard to go unseen

At least in this instance with so little distance between” I love this because everyone tries to hide the bad parts but you can’t really do that once you get to know someone well which is sort of what she’s afraid of, but not really?

“I’m not finished with the boy- I mean the book

So I will hold him- hold it till tomorrow” mmhmm girl suuuure keep being in denial sister

And that part at the end where the instrumental changes and ahhhh

“This is so weird” haha no kidding Nino😂

HALFWAY

THIS SONG IS A MASTERPIECE

The instrumental gahhh I swear this song makes me cry

The red fabric backdrop with the equations and waves projected onto it is so cool😍

“But whenever the boat gets halfway there

There is always halfway more”

“In my mother’s schoolhouse

There was always halfway to goo

To gooooo”

“I hear you breathing"😂😂😂

“Who are you?”

“I’m a mystery wrapped in an enigma trapped in a paradox disappearing into thin air”

“Me too"😂

"Little boat, big ocean

I’m the girl with the copper spyglass

who prays that today she will spot her shore

All at once a lighthouse

All at once through the copper spyglass

A light telling me to lean in on the oar

I start to row

But before I can get anywhere

From point A to point B

I am at that kitchen table

where I’ll always be at sea"😍😍😍 this part always gets me when I’m feeling lost and alone and I love the visual projection of it with Amélie moving towards Nino and the sailboat projected onto the red fabric moving towards him too, but then both the boat and Amélie stop and move back away from him ahhh😍💔

"Little boat big oceaaaan” ahh Pippa why is your voice so magical

WINDOW SEAT

“Unsuspended in mid-air And I can see everything from here”

“If I could reach you from Machu Picchu

Then I would say everything I would give anything” this is sweet even if it’s fabricated haha

THERE’S NO PLACE LIKE GNOME

Basically the fact that a grown man is dressed as a gnome and singing this fucking song lmao

I love how they project the Polaroids for the audience to see

Also the fact that the flight attendant/stewardess and the gnome have a little romance going on

“I admit he looks good as a guard

But I want him back in my backyard”

“Do you see that crack in his clay”

“His black paint’s fading to grey”

“Travelling the world is tremendous

But for a garden gnome it’s gotta be hard” poor guy just wants his damn gnome back man

“The stewardesses, they always wonder, doesn’t matter where I roam

She asks "are you one of Santa’s elves?”

And I say “ma'am I am a gnome”

“Back before these feelings made me feeeel thingsss” this is so relatable honestly

“Dad this is Suzaaaanne” girl I see you😂 but seriously Amélie is so pure she matchmakes her own dad and boss gah

THIN AIR

“The frame tries to hide you

Just like a disguise

But I know that face

From the look in your eyes

So I’m reaching out to you”

“Whooooo are you now

When all youuu have is thiiin aiir around youuuu”

“It’s easy to vanish when no one’s around

Your footsteps fall silent as snow on the ground

And I may be hammered but I can hear my heart pound

And it’s reaching out to youuu

Reaching out to youuuuu”

As I’m typing this I’m realising I very well may just be in love with the whole song….

Also ADAM CHANLER-BERAT

“It’s too easy to disappear these days

There you go but nobody sees it

You leave a photo behind for a stranger to see

But now you’re so close I swear I can feel you

No more stories just show me the real you

And I promise that I’ll let you see the real me” awwww Nino😍

“So who are you now

When all I see is a face that hides way love until

You’re alone in a place you

Hide away until you’re alooooone

With thin aiiiiiiiiiiir

Arouuuuund you” 😍😍😍especially how the first line is sung

WRITING ON THE WALL

Amélie’s disguise when she spray paints the quote lmaooo😂

So this song is pretty short but it sounds so ethereal and beautiful😍

Like honestly who would even think it’d be a random as quote from an aspiring writer😂😂

BLUE ARROW SUITE

SUCH A BEAUTIFUL SONG I LOVE IT WITH ALL MY HEART

The soft, magical sounding instrumental after “bring five francs”

“Here on a hill

There sits a great cathedral

Where I’ve left a trail

That only goes so far

Here I can keep him moving forward

And keep things as they are

Halfway to love

And just close enough

To Sacre-Couer"😍😍😍 it’s so beautifully sung and the words ahhh

"I know my heart Is speaking with a murmur

Making the sound that only I can hear

All I can manage is a whisper

Of this heartbeat trapped inside

Here in this place

Grant me the grace

To be amplified” and then the instrumental changes ahhh it’s so beautiful

The hats the ensemble in the carousel are wearing😂😂

“Maybe I can try and stay

Just stand right here

Here he comes!

Screw that!

Run away!” Amélie is forever relatable and so cute😂😍

And then the “ahhs” after the last verse (if you saw my Anastasia post you probably realised I have a thing for “ahhs”)

THE LATE NINO QUINCAMPOIX

The fact that she’s so paranoid and has such an overactive imagination that this whole song is basically her imagining a scenario where he gets hit and almost dies

The part where the ensemble joins in😍

“Current flows through Nino’s arteries

Which stops his heart

As train parts tear his limbs apaaaart” lovely imagery😂😂 and their reactions lmaoo

“Who has time for a guy like that

For a guy who doesn’t know

How to tell time

How to tell

Ahhhhhhh"😍😍 when Nino arrives and everyone else goes crazy lmao😂😂

A BETTER HAIRCUT

The instrumental is so jaunty?upbeat? Idk I just know that I love it

"Everything was going perfect

In the circus

Until the day he dropped me

And then dropped me for the tattooed lady”

“She broke her leg in seven places”

“I did"😂😅 the usual you know

"And it seems that every single guy I know

Has another lady on the side show”

“You know our girl’s a fragile egg”

“Don’t break her heart”

“Or break her leg"😂 this whole song goes from funny to sweet lmao

"She’s not a waitress who will take your order”

“Bring your food or fill your refills”

“Except when working at the Windmills” 😂😂 when they forget she actually works as a waitress lmao but very good message, this musical is/was gold😍 I miss it so much😭😭

“Can you prove?”

“That youuuuu are a looooover for the ages

Can you proooove that”

“Youuuuuuu are not highly contagious"😂😂😂

I love that they shove him & his table out of the way so they can dance

"Love is just another diagnosis

Like bacterial vaginosis” Oml this song kills me 😂😂😂 WHO WROTE THESE LYRICS

“I love her and I don’t know her name” Nino is such a sweetheart awww

“All the while while love infects us

The side effect is that love connects us” this extended metaphor is weird af but it works so well and I love it because it also manages to give us all a great message😍👏👏

STAY

THIS SONG IS SO CUTE I LOVE IT

“But don’t expect me to play fair”

“I hear you coming

What can I do to

Drown out this drumming”

“No turning back now that you took the breadcrumbs

And I lost the way

And arrows fall out of thin air

If I could just find the right words to say

Would you stay right there

I like you right there”

“Stay where you are

Safe enough range

Try to move closer

You’ll only get halfway

Pin down your heart

Put out the flame

Don’t come any closer

But don’t move awaaaay”

And the canon effect of Nino and Amélie (he kind of like echoes her?) in “stay where you are” and “pin down your heart”^😍

HALFWAY (REPRISE)

“Is it true that you’ve solved Zeno’s paradox?” I love the way she sings this gah

“I have to do more than stay”

“Even though I am always halfway there”

“I could meet you there halfway” I ship them so much

AND THEN THEY KISSSSSSS

WHERE DO WE GO FROM HERE

AKA THE SONG I WOULD SELL MY SOUL FOR ITS SO BEAUTIFUL

“Where do we go from here

Now that you are standing by my side

After all there’s more to life than holding you” 😍😍

“After all there’s more to life than we can see

Will there be troubles?

I don’t know

Will there be sweet things?

I hope so

Will there be time to keep on dreaming when this dream is over?” This is so realistic ahhh I want to legitimately cry, such a real and beautiful love😍

“What happens when you can’t hold on

Or when I can’t hold on to you?”

I love the faces they make when taking pictures in the photo booth😂

“What’s gonna happen?

I don’t know

But whatever happens

Here we go

What’s gonna happen

And where do we go

From here?” A perfect ending to a perfect musical that deserved better❤️

Other Threads

Anastasia

#amélie #amélie musical #amélie broadway #broadway #musicals #musical theatre #this musical deserved better #broadway musicals #pippa soo #phillipa soo #adam chanler berat #what i love about musicals thread #amelie musical #amelie

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