#i think i find that i enjoy longer books much more. way better payoff

[titsthedamnseason]

it’s probably a bit hasty for me to get right into posting my thoughts but alas i shall! it took a bit but i finally finished mistborn era one!!! 🥳💗

i rated the final empire 4.25/5 stars (looking back i actually think this book deserved 5 stars. i was a little harsh but the ending and overall story arc is perfect especially now having the context of the whole series. i think if i were to reread it i would appreciate it so much more)

i rated well of ascension 4.75/5 stars

and lastly, i gave hero of ages a 4/5 stars

ultimately i was quite satisfied with sazed’s ending and the way his character arc ended. i thought it culminated very expertly and if there was any character that should have become a god it was certainly him

vin’s ending i was more unsatisfied with but i maybe need more time to sit with it. i never necessarily saw that for her and thought it was so abstract that it lost some of its impact for me. maybe it was that the moment she took on the role of preservation it was obvious that “human” vin was dead no matter the fate of her mystical consciousness so the actual moment of her death had way less impact than a character like her deserved. i mean, she was literally the main character lol. and from a romantic standpoint her and elend’s final goodbye while they were both human in person was underwhelming. maybe on purpose since neither of them knew they would never see each other again but still im bitter about it. i’m happy they are reunited though

it might be too soon for me to really articulate my thoughts on elend’s death. i kind of hated it in the sense that it’s frustrating when a character has their moment of actualization and grows to their full potential only to die pages later, as if all that development was only for dramatic effect. but i think this one is too raw and i also might just not like it because im sad about it. objectively elend was a loyal ruler that wanted nothing but to protect his people and that is what he died doing with a smile on his face so in that sense i can acknowledge that it was in character and he would probably be content to know he died playing such a major role in saving the world

overall i really loved my introduction to brandon sanderson! his books are a rollercoaster and i hear it only gets crazier / worse / better / intenser from here so i am READY 🫡 my copy of arcanum unbounded is on the way

[marciaillust]

Hi!! This has probably already been asked but I can’t find anything on it. Do you have any plans to continue with the clockmaster?? I really enjoyed reading it and would love to see more of it if you’re wanting to do anything more with it!! No worries if not though, I just thought it was really funky and it made my brain happy :))

Hi!

Yes, The Clockmaster is absolutely gonna continue!

The reason I stopped making The Clockmaster is a series of events, the major one being that 3 years ago I suffered an arm injury that came with 24/7 chronic pain, which really took a toll on me and my relationship with drawing. For a period of time I couldn't create and after that drawing anything came with soul destroying pain which made it impossible to create new pages on a weekly basis. I am still dealing with it but after 3 years of physio and what not I am doing better than ever, and as you might have seen I'm even making comics again :)

I know the comic's been gone for quite some time but I have not lost any interest in making it. More than that, during my break I learned a lot about storytelling, making comics, making my process more efficient among many other things, so I'd like to think when TCM comes back it will be a delightful read haha! I hope the two bigass doujinshis I created during the break stand as a proof of that!

However, when it comes back The Clockmaster will definitely be released in a new format - I don't think I will be doing weekly updates anymore, I will be releasing it in chapters. Longer breaks, but each update will be a nice lengthy read. The main reason for that is that having created two whole comic books during my time away I learned I find it so much easier, more enjoyable and preferable to create and finish comics in their entirety prior to anyone seeing them. I think the doujinshis have much better pacing, the economy of storytelling comes into play big time, and the emotional buildups and payoffs land way better. I want that for The Clockmaster! I want it to be excellent! I want to see the whole dang forest and not just the trees :)

However, to be completely honest, the earliest Clockmaster will come back is winter 2024. The reason for that is so far my schedule is looking positively packed for the upcoming months. Firstly, I want to conclude the 2nd asoryuu doujinshi extravaganza and I predict the last orders will be sent out in March. After that I will be moving between countries. I don't want to disclose too much info about my private life but many things will change for me and things will be hectic at least until August if not September 2024. As I said, I want to release The Clockmaster in bigger chunks now, so the chunk will have to be drawn. That will take months. But it's coming back! Meet me here same time next year and Orion, Rosie and Garret will be right there with me!!

Lasty, to conclude this essay of an answer: Thank you for saying you enjoyed reading it. The Clockmaster is something very dear to my heart and even though I am creating it for myself there is this worrying voice at the back of my head that when it comes back noone will care, that it's been 3 years and everyone forgot, and that it's not fandom stuff so noone will give it the time of the day. But hearing you say you enjoyed reading it makes me feel that art is timeless in its ability to make people feel something and that I am capable of creating of art that does just that :)

[chaozsilhouette]

Moonlit Musings

The night is such a perfect time to face one’s darkest truths. Shrouded in the moon’s light what can one do but admit to their flaws. It can be a time of rejuvenation and rebirth, only if you let it.

§~~~~§~~~~§~~~~§

It was a quiet night.

The full moon hung high in the heavens accompanied by millions of stars. Not a cloud to be seen, an ideal night for passions to run wild. Normally people would be taking out their telescopes or arranging romantic picnics.

Sadly, nights like these only filled Sun Wukong with dread. It was a night like this when he was finally able to return after the Journey. That was the night he learned he had lost a precious treasure.

When he returned, he expected to be greeted by his subjects until Macaque showed himself. He expected to be strangled as the pale furred monkie admonished him for his recklessness. He expected to watch as fury transformed into tearful joy as they embraced one another for the first time in over five hundred years.

But that wasn’t what happened.

The moment he set foot back onto Flower Fruit Mountain, he sensed something was very wrong. Like his previous return trips, his subjects greeted him with loud celebrations. The new mothers showed off their infants. The young ones wasted no time climbing all over him, taking in the scent of their king.

The immortal elders, however, looked concerned.

That was when he realized Macaque’s scent on the mountain was far too faint. Even the magical signature of his clones no longer felt fresh.

Macaque was nowhere to be found. The monkeys reported Macaque had returned a few years after he stopped by the mountain earlier in the Journey but not as his usual self. He didn’t respond to any of their questions. He didn’t even take time to check in on the infants. He didn’t say a word.

He just entered the mansion, but no one saw him leave.

Entering the mansion, Wukong dashed to their room desperate for answers. Opening the doors, he saw the room was horribly empty, sure all of his belonging were exactly as he remembered them, but all of Macaque’s stuff was gone. Macaque’s closet was empty and all his books had vanished. Despite his desperate hopes, there wasn’t any signs of a struggle or hidden messages to be found.

Macaque left of his own free will, but why?

He couldn’t bring himself to sleep in the bed they shared so many nights together. Every time he dared, he awoke expect to be greeted with the comforting warmth of familiar presence, instead he opened his eyes to a cold emptiness.

The lack of answers broke his heart, but he didn’t have time to start tearing the landscape apart trying to find him. Now that he was back for good, he had so many responsibilities to catch up on. He was determined to be a good king for his subjects and that meant ughthinking things through. Plus, he wanted to spend as much time with his master and brothers as possible.

Then there was the concerning fact all his previous allies had severed their alliance with him.

Apparently after all the fuss with the Demon Bull King, word had spread that Wukong broke their alliance by disrespecting protocol and attacking the royal family. Plus, his new position as a defender of humanity annoyed more than a few respectable demons. Combined with the sheer number of powerful demons he killed on the Journey cemented the idea that having an alliance with him would only end poorly.

He was banned from court meetings and the other kings in the surrounding areas wanted nothing to do with him. The chaotic nature of his past had finally caught up to him and in the worst possible way.

He was still recognized as the Monkey King of the Sun Court but was effectively blacklisted. No one wanted to mess with him, but they also didn’t want to interact with him. Not good for his mental health to say the least.

Simians are naturally social creatures. Wukong was used to constantly being around other people and learning new things. His time imprisoned was not kind. His first year of freedom had him constantly climbing over his brothers and master just to reassure himself that this was real.

And now that he couldn’t reconnect with old faces unless it was through a battle to the death…It forced him to delve into old memories. Memories that while sweet only made the emptiness more pronounced.

§~~~~§~~~~§~~~~§

Sun Wukong smiled as he watched Macaque’s reaction.

The six-eared monkie was furiously pinching the bridge between his eyebrows after he shattered a boulder with a careless headbutt as though it would make his life mercifully easier. “You’ll have to explain it to me again. What did you mean by ‘no longer under Yama’s jurisdiction’?”

“Exactly what I said. I was napping. Having some time to myself, when out of nowhere some idiots tried to take my soul to the afterlife.” Wukong explained as though having entities of death rip out your soul to drag it to the underworld was no big deal.

“Bet you weren’t happy.” Macaque couldn’t help but smirk at the flippant tone. He just made it so difficult to stay mad.

“Not in the slightest. I barged my way to the top brass, bunch of cowards called the Ten Kings (totally undeserved titles by the way) and demanded what the fuck was going on.” He was still ticked off even if the payoff was sweet. Seriously! Did immortality mean nothing to these cowards? They couldn’t even play it off as him dying in battle. He was in the peak of his youth! “Can you believe they tried to play it off as a misunderstanding? Should have smacked the loudmouth when I was there.”

“So, through a series of ridiculous events, you erased your name from the records of the dead.” Macaque could easily piece together the rest from there. No matter how ridiculous the odds. He learned never to bet against his friend when a problem could be handled with brute strength or intimidation. If it didn’t look like such an answer was possible, clearly, they hadn’t experienced the force of a determined Wukong. Something about facing a ticked off monkie of practically infinite strength and invulnerability left harden conquerors pissing themselves.

It was hilarious.

“Not just mine. In my infinite wisdom, I erased the names of several of the monkey inhabitants of esteemed Flower Fruit Mountain, including yours.” Wukong playfully booped Macaque’s nose.

Turning away to hide a light blush, Macaque scoffed to cover his embarrassing response. “Typical. I can’t leave you alone for five minutes without you doing something insane.”

“I know. I’m just that awesome.”

“So what? Are we now double immortal?” That was the question wasn’t it. Due to their master’s instructions, they were immortal and ageless, so what exactly would this give them? He didn’t feel any different. He couldn’t sense any new powers or changes in his instincts.

His counterpart, however, had other things on his mind. “Who cares. All I know is that those idiots have no control over our souls anymore.” And with that the King took his rightful place across Macaque’s lap as the other returned to his scrolls.

Wukong instead took the time to examine his friend, who finally gained enough confidence to fully drop his glamour and embrace his true appearance.

He still couldn’t believe Macaque actually had six ears. The weird part was how natural they looked, almost as if seeing him with only two was bizarre. The coolest part was how each pair softly glowed a different color. Blue. Purple. Red. Sometimes Wukong would just stare at them, imagining that he could see glittering stars emanating from that glow.

Suddenly those magnificent ears twitched. Macaque didn’t bother looking up from the bamboo scroll. “A trespasser...multiple, boar and vulture demon. Another hunting party”.

“Again. Ugh. Don’t these idiots ever give up!” Don’t get him wrong, Wukong loved a good fight. What better way to prove how superior you are to others than to steal what’s most precious to them? But even he was starting to grow bored with the sheer number of hunters that thought kidnapping his subjects was a quick cash grab.

After the fifth army he returned in pieces to the surrounding upstart lords, you’d think they’d take a hint.

Thankfully he wasn’t the only powerhouse on the mountain. “I haven’t tasted blood in a while. Why don’t I defend the kingdom while your highness enjoys a show?” Macaque set aside his reading material, eyes glittering with bloodlust.

Wukong returned the smirk with one of his own. “I’m always up for a good thrashing. One request: make it glorious.”

“Don’t I always.” Macaque joked as he retrieved his spear from his own shadow.

Wukong summoned his cloud and claimed a good vantage point. Once again, he marveled at his friend’s hearing. Judging by the distance it would have been at least three hours before he would have detected their presence.

Kicking back, he transformed some hair into a fruit platter and waited for the screams.

§~~~~§~~~~§~~~~§

To this day, Wukong knew Macaque was alive. Thanks to his efforts combined with the intense training, the monkie was double immortal. Besides, that monkkie was way too stubborn to die. He would survive purely on spite if he had to.

Macaque left, but why?

While he may have effectively isolated himself, that didn’t mean he didn’t hear about the other courts. A few centuries ago, he heard rumors about the formation of a new court by someone under the title of the Macaque King. Supposedly they were a powerful monkie who knew way more than he had the right to. For a brief moment, Wukong dared to hope it was his old friend, but it didn’t last. The few recounts he caught described him with black fur. Besides, he knew how much Macaque hated the title of King. Even when Wukong offered him the position as co-ruler of his kingdom, the pale monkie adamantly refused.

Still, he was curious.

For a few weeks he could have sworn he detected a familiar scent hiding underneath Mk’s. And he wasn’t the only one who noticed. A few of the immortal monkeys questioned him on the mango infused scent and what his plans were. It was almost too much to take in.

To think he returned to teach his student instead of showing his face. It hurt just to think about it. He chose to ignore the beckoning scent until it became impossible to ignore MK’s leap in progress. Then it just vanished like it hadn’t been testing his patience. Like it hadn’t brought him to the brink of shaking the kid upside down until he confessed where his old friend was hiding. The kid probably grew wise, or someone told him to change his bathing habits, and by the next training session it was all but gone.

Dragging his hand down his face, Wukong tried to reevaluate his thoughts.

Getting mad at the kid wasn’t going to solve anything. He knew he hadn’t been the most attentive master. Hell, the whole hammer exercise at its core was a desperate attempt to remove a painful reminder of better times. His master would be disappointed in how he was running away from his problems, but would encourage him to take the steps to be better. Zhu Bajie would be a sarcastic little shit, trying to get him riled up so the monkie would prove him wrong. Sha Wujing would sit him down and wouldn’t let him leave until they talked everything through.

He had to make things right with the kid. He deserved a better master. And this New Years he was gonna get one.

He spoke, praying the winds would carry his voice to his Warrior.

“Macaque. I know it’s been a while, but…I-I want to talk. I know you’re out there, somewhere I can’t reach. I miss sparring with you. I miss lazy days napping in the shade by your side. I miss defending the mountain as we held contests to see who could take out the most trespassers before their common sense kicked in. I miss you. Please come home.”

§~~~~§~~~~§~~~~§

The moon was high in the sky. Stars danced in the heavens as the faintest hints of vibrations pulsed through the concrete from the late-night dance clubs. MK lay awake, his mind struggling to make sense of it all.

Ever since Macaque disappeared in order to remain undetected, he kept thinking about his relationship with the Monkey King. Sure, he was being trained and he was definitely making progress. The monkie was still on his case for supposedly cheating on him with another mentor. Nothing MK said or did could make the monkie think otherwise. Thankfully, he was no longer shooting him suspicious glares, but the underlying tension remained.

The sad truth is they just weren’t that close.

He would have expected to learn more about the Monkey King on a personal and emotional level, but he just couldn’t get past that wall. Their training sessions felt more like just the Monkey King arranged just to get it over with. There was no passion at all.

Okay, perhaps that last bit was an exaggeration.

When you peered past the arrogance and pride, you found one socially awkward monkie. It was similar to Red Son the more he thought about it, both seemed to find it difficult to talk to or relate to others in a friendly setting. Sure, Monkey King projected a friendly demeanor and called him “bud”, but if he didn’t know any better he could have sworn the monkie was afraid to take that final step.

The last few sessions had taken a bit of a turn in a positive direction as Sandy would say. Maybe Monkey King decided it was time to make a change? Maybe this was all a trick so MK would lower his guard and reveal Macaque’s identity? Maybe he was just tired and should have conked out an hour ago?

Maybe.

Reality was so different from the legends. When Tang first introduced him to the Monkey stories, he was hooked. He loved listening to the tales of the infamous trickster that flipped off every major religious figure with unbridled confidence. Meeting the Great Sage in the flesh was like a dream come true until he was exposed to the King’s less pleasant tendencies.

Mk couldn’t help but wonder just how much confidence the Monkey King had in his training skills. Did he ever train someone before? Could MK talk to someone about this without appearing even more ungrateful than he already looked? Why didn’t he stop Red Son from unsealing his father when he was there? Why didn’t he simply seal the entire family when they were reunited? Why did the five times immortal sage decide that now he needed to train a disciple? Was Monkey King not telling him something important?

He had so many questions and not even the foggiest idea of where to start looking. Or perhaps he did?

The truth was he missed Macaque. The dark-furred monkie may have only taught him for a month, but the progress he made and the level of care he was exposed to made him feel as though he had finally unlocked the ability to fly.

He missed the regular grooming. He missed learning about the demon community. He missed learning new ways to mess with Red Son through appropriate court manners.

Watching the fire user freeze up at the term “honorable prince of the Iron Bull Court” just made him laugh, when his hair combusted it really matched his face. Now that he thought about it, were those horns starting to peek out of his forehead? And maybe the slightest hint of a tufted tail swiping the bottom of his coat? Seeing the demon frantically compose himself was a treat he didn’t know he needed. He still had the video saved as one of his favorites, didn’t hurt that Mei caught it at the perfect angle.

Oh yeah, he missed that.

With any luck, New Years would be the start of something better.

§~~~~§~~~~§~~~~§

On an island that remained surrounded by unquenchable storms, a single black-furred monkie sat cross-legged in a secluded part attached to the palace. All around him fruit trees and bushes bore a hefty bounty releasing an intoxicating scent of life.

Ears twitched.

Macaque opened his eyes, aroused from his meditation. It was odd. He had the faintest sensation that someone had been talking about him. Now that wasn’t exactly unusual, he made plenty of allies and enemies across the centuries. What was odd was that the voice sounded like someone he once cherished.

But that couldn’t be right.

The deceptive silence of his personal orchard gave him no answers. Not that he really expected it to.

For some reason he refused to identify, Macaque turned to the single peach tree in the grove. A tribute from his past and a reminder of his mistakes. But it was also a valuable resource once he learned the truth about the peach’s properties. He used its powers to protect many happy relationships, if only it could have helped him so long ago.

No matter.

He still had many projects to work on, including one successor just rife with insecurities. He honestly felt bad ducking out as he did. If things were different, he would have offered him a new life. His Stars were always happy to welcome a new member into their budding community.

As a bonus, his presence would have interrupted their constant attempts to set him up with new dates. He adored their efforts but being paired with partners who only wanted power or he would view only as friends was not something he enjoyed. Although watching them mentally destroy those they didn’t find suitable for him was quite entertaining.

Either way, New Years was coming up fast and he still needed to approve a few changes. His Stars were determined to make sure this event topped last years in every way possible, but they had to make sure they didn’t set the orchard on fire again. Or worse, they could launch the fireworks into the storm barrier. He wasn’t sure why or how, but the tornadoes and clouds turned different colors as explosions rang throughout the night.

It was beautiful but lost its charm after the third day.

[galacticlamps]

Tagged by @the--highlanders​ ! Thanks!

How many works do you have on AO3?

13

What’s your total AO3 word count?

76,200

(oh what a nice even number - I should try to mess that up as soon as possible, shouldn’t I?)

How many fandoms have you written for and what are they?

Aw man is this intentionally worded to be really hard to answer? I get that it says ‘written’ and not ‘posted’ but then what constitutes a ‘fandom?’ I definitely wrote fics for stuff I was interested in long before I even knew the word ‘fic’ - I did it throughout my childhood, and then in high school, and while I didn’t do it as much in college, it still happened from time to time. So a lot of the books/movies/tv shows/plays/musicals I wrote things for aren’t really fandoms, and frankly, I had to check my old folder just now to even remember some of them existed. I’ll just list the ones that I know for sure had fandoms, since that’s more fun (and embarrassing), right?

Obviously Doctor Who, classic and modern, Torchwood, Sherlock Holmes (ironically more of these seem to be about the books, but yes, I will admit, some for that tv show too), Les Mis, a couple different Marvel comics & movies, Good Omens, hell, I even found a Night Vale fic in there just now.

And I know there are other older things not even in that folder, some of which never made it to a computer at all, so if I had to ballpark a number I’d probably say around 25ish but really, who knows?

What are your top 5 fics by kudos?

Across the Gap

On the Spot

Expectations

Shards of Memories & Fragments of Glass

Itemized

(this was fun, I’d never noticed Ao3 even had a stats page until now lol)

Do you respond to comments, why or why not?

I try to! Sometimes I take a long time to do so but for the most part, I usually get around to it. The rare exception would be if I first saw the comment when I was super busy/distracted and then felt like way too much time passed before I noticed it again, that it might be awkward if I said something at that point.

I do genuinely enjoy hearing what people think, but I’m also weirdly terrified of making anyone feel like they have to reply to my comments. I know that’s probably a little strange, but it’s actually a large part of why I made this Ao3 account in the first place - my original one, from high school, is followed by some long-time friends of mine who aren’t interested in this fandom, some of whom are involved in art & writing professionally. The thought of anyone like that reading something I wrote out of friendliness or even just curiosity and potentially having to pretend they liked it for the same reasons stressed me tf out, so I like having this virtually anonymous one because I can relax knowing that anyone who reads or interacts with something I wrote has probably done so only because they wanted to, rather than feeling obligated, and there’s no pressure on them to be nice to me about it if anything I write or post annoys them - so I really hope nobody who does just know me as an anonymous blog has ever worried about offending me by not replying to something, trust me, I’m perfectly happy with it!

What’s the fic you’ve written with the angstiest ending?

I don’t think I’ve really written any angsty endings? I guess the answer would have to be Reckless just because it involves the characters arguing about sad/weighty things and there isn’t really any solution to those issues - but even then I think I ended it with a kind of acceptance that stops it from really qualifying as angst? I also set it in the the same universe as other fics, so maybe that doesn’t even count as an ending? Am I that bad at ending things on angst? Lol

Do you write crossovers? If so what’s the craziest one you’ve written?

Obviously none of the fics I’ve posted are crossovers but I’m trying to think now if any of my WIP’s are - I’ve definitely poached setting/premise ideas from other media, but in terms of actual crossovers . . . I’ve got a few cross-era or cross-Doctor, a few involving Torchwood, but that’s already the same universe, so the only thing that’d qualify as a true crossover would be some vague pieces of a fic where Jamie, Zoe, and Two end up on the Enterprise, since I think the 60s series of Star Trek and Dr Who feel kind of compatible, don’t they? In fact, aren’t there like officially licensed crossover comics or something? Or did I make that up? Idk, and the ideas are very loose, so it’s not much of a WIP either

Have you ever received hate on a fic?

Nope, never

Do you write smut? If so what kind?

I’ve never written smut, but I’m wondering if it’s possible that could change soon. There’s a longish multi-chapter fic I’ve been working on for a frankly embarrassing amount of time, and the plot does call for a sex scene at one point towards the end, but I can’t seem to make up my mind on how - uh, I guess the word is explicit? - it should get. I know I could easily do a fade to black/implication thing, but it’s kind of a source of contention and anxiety for the characters, so to skip over writing the actual scene and just revisit them afterwards rings of “and they slept together and now everything’s fine!” which feels kinda cheap to me - in this context, anyway - and not the right payoff for a long fic that’s otherwise more of an interpersonal drama/slightly a period piece, if I had to place it in a genre. I feel like my aversion to actually writing the scene might just be prudishness I should get over, or maybe just self-doubt, because I know I’d rather have a well-written, funny, character-development-supporting sex scene than nothing at all, but since I’ve never had any interest in writing a scene like that before, I don’t know if I can do it well, and I also don’t want to ruin a fic I’m otherwise proud of by doing it badly... ugh I have to figure this out

Have you ever had a fic stolen?

I seriously doubt it

Have you ever had a fic translated?

Nope

What’s your all time favorite ship?

I mean, it’s gotta be Two & Jamie. I’ve shipped things before with varying levels of investment, but I’ve never been able to use the term ‘otp’ in a literal sense until I came across them, and now it’s already basically gone out of fashion, go figure!

What’s a WIP that you want to finish but don’t think you ever will?

I’m not sure if I have one? My WIP doc is huge, but I don’t actually intend to get around to finishing everything in it, so I’d like to think that anything I’ve currently singled out to complete can actually get done.

That said, I do have a few AU’s that I don’t really plan to finish, but it might be cool if I could. Two of them are for all the main + some supporting characters of the Second Doctor’s era - one’s a modern day school teachers AU, and the other is a typical fantasy/fairy tale AU. Another is just Two/Jamie, based on Doctor Faustus (specifically the Marlowe play version) but right now there are two different versions of the ending coexisting in my head. I’ve written parts of scenes & some gen. backstory for all of those ideas, but I don’t know if I’ll ever try to finish them, or what form a finished product would even take - a series of one-shots set in the same universe? one long multi-chapter fic with some kind of overarching plot? And the amount of context/worldbuilding a big AU like these would require might not make them very appealing fics for people to read, so maybe it is better if I just keep them to myself, since in my head I already know what’s going on in those worlds lol.

What are your writing strengths?

I honestly don’t know. I haven’t had a creative writing class since middle school, and since then I’ve only ever shown creative writing to others in a fandom context, so it’s been a while since I’ve discussed it or gotten critical feedback. I suppose when I work in other arts or even academic writing contexts, people usually say I’m kind of insightful or at least detail oriented, which might just be another way of saying I overthink things, but I like to imagine I’m decent at finding little points of interest to expand upon.

What are your writing weaknesses?

If you’ve read this far I feel like you must know what I’m about to say: I do not know how to be concise.

Usually when I’m writing a fic, I put down the dialogue first on its own, leaving out the action of the scene and whatever plot/context led there, even if I’ve already figured all of that out. But then when I go to add those things in, they’re always longer than I wanted them to be. I don’t mind writing something long, but I don’t want my fics to be a slog to get through either, and there can be a point at which the stuff I’ve added for context overwhelms the stuff that I wanted the fic to be about in the first place, so it becomes a structural/proportion issue too. I haven’t completely given up on any fics because of this yet, but there’s one I’ve been struggling with for a couple months now - probably because I’m even second-guessing myself on which scenes need to be written out and which can just be referenced like a recap. Hopefully I figure that one out soon.

What are your thoughts on writing dialogue in other languages in a fic?

((this is karma isn’t it? i posted a fic last week with two words of gaelic in it and was worried about that and now this is karma))

In general, I don’t want to do it. I feel like you’ve gotta have a really good grasp of a language to write dialogue & speech patterns for someone who’s a native speaker, and since I’m far from fluent in any language the characters I write for are, I wouldn’t feel confident writing any significant amount of dialogue in, say, Gaelic.

As a sidenote, though, I kinda love it when other people do it, particularly for Jamie. Irish (Gaeilge) and Scottish (Gàidhlig) are both languages I’ve wanted to learn for a long time, because my family’s fresh out of living speakers of either & I think that’s a shame, but I started with Irish and at the moment I’m still very much learning it. As different as they are, it still helps me understand parts of lyrics or texts that I come across in Gàidhlig fairly frequently, so when it comes up in a fic I get to feel like I’m being responsible and practicing, and it’s great when I can actually understand what’s being said.

What was the first fandom you wrote for?

I’m gonna go with Harry Potter even though that’s probably not a perfectly accurate answer - it’s almost certainly the first thing that has a fandom that I ever wrote for, but it was in a notebook when I was a kid and never something that I even typed on a computer, much less posted online or shared with other members of a fandom. But even then, I’m sure it wasn’t the first pre-existing fictional universe I ever set an original story in, because I did that a lot when I was a kid, it’s just hard to remember those clearly or on any kind of timeline.

What’s your favorite fic that you’ve written?

I’m very partial to Across the Gap, so I was pleasantly surprised to see that ranked first on the kudos thing above - but I’ve also got a soft spot for So Merrily We’ll Sing. It’s so self-indulgent it feels silly saying ‘it was so easy to write!’ but I guess having a fic that’s already just 100% headcaonons and fluff tied together by a song you really love does prevent it from being much of a labor (I also managed to refrain from making that one unnecessarily long, so that’s another win there)

tagging @terryfphanatics and anyone else who wants to do it - sorry I’m bad at remembering whose tumblr goes with whose Ao3 account, but I really would be interested to read this if anyone else feels like answering them!

[rosiethorns88]

Queen of Nothing Thoughts / Reflection on the Series

Many people are asking me, so I’m pooling them here. I’m not a writer or a reviewer, just a reader. :)

SPOILERS AHEAD:

First, an expectation summary:

- Overall, the book hit all of my high notes and succeeded in its story telling to me, personally. Holly has a pattern with climax building reflected in all three of her books that I really enjoy as a reader. There are shocking moments about two-thirds of the way in each book that feel like climaxes, but after the sudden burst and fall out, it slowly builds up again to another and greater peak. I find the early upsets and expanded conclusions of the final acts to be really satisfying to unfold, page by page. Cardan and Jude are two fascinating characters and the friction their personalities cause with one another make for some satisfying sparks. The whole cast of characters are colorful and the world building is rich, and I enjoyed the escapism the entire series brought to me with each visit.

- I was completely satisfied with the pacing, because it worked for the story at hand. Madoc was making his move and allies from all over Faerie were seeing Cardan’s control over his court wane in his wake. Both Jude and Cardan had to move and move fast to get themselves in a position of defense. In fact, the one act that I feared may have dragged on the longest, Jude’s ‘entrapment’ at the camp, actually moved forward quite quickly and kept my interest once Grimsen and the Ghost entered the mix. To spend time tying up every frayed thread with other non-player characters before the end would have lessened the urgency of story’s impending conflicts. Let’s get Jude and Cardan settled and to their honeymoon first before we chat about Nicasia’s love woes over tea.

- The Jurdan reunion was great, I love how it reflects the previous books with them having to first play act with each other again. Though I was hoping for it to last a bit longer with Cardan stringing Jude along in her disguise. I was really excited for Jude to play switch-a-roo as Taryn, but didn’t expect it to end so suddenly. It would have been a great call back to the circumstance of Cardan’s being tricked at the end of The Wicked King.

- The fact the Cardan was so involved with Jude’s runarounds: the rescue attempt from the palace, the actual rescue from the camp, his tag-alongs with her questing. It made all of their interactions very satisfying as it was expanding beyond the verbal throw-downs they only had before. I’ve seen many people complain there were not enough Jurdan scenes, but y’all. We barely had a breath of their interactions from the 1st and 2nd books compared to QoN. I was thoroughly pleased.

- The fact that Cardan indulges in Jude’s political nature and wears it proudly like a brooch when he’s addressing his court. He’s basically like, “I’m here to be my witty and sarcastic self; she’s here to be her just and vicious self. We complete each other.”

- CARDAN REUNITES WITH HIS DOOR! This was my favorite reunion scene as it was one of the many world building elements I enjoyed from the first book. Cardan’s playful and endearing greeting to his door at Hallow Hall was such a thought provoking element - I could only imagine as he grew up at the hall, he had little things or persons to befriend. And with the revelation of Cardan sneaking out human servants in the night, it makes sense he could get away with it with this unique friendship. I’m so glad this was a payoff.

- Madoc - I love Madoc. SO MUCH. He’s such a rich character, it’s so hard to call him morally grey when his character is so colorfully rich. Every chapter I either put an extra tick on his ‘I hate you so much’ or ‘I love you so much’ tally. He’s so true to his nature as a red cap, yet still so loving and caring for his family. He truly shows his hurt and conflict in his anger towards Jude after he finds she has betrayed or outwitted him. I reflect back to The Cruel Prince, when Jude was reminiscing how she and Madoc would play a board game of strategy (like chess) and have to interrupt it. All day, Jude would think about her possible moves and his possible moves, so when they returned to the game, the entire strategy had changed. This is how they interacted all through out the novel. Every thought and move was predicted, then challenged, then overturned before they could even meet face to face again. It’s amazing how there are no villains or heroes in this story; Jude and Madoc’s conflict were just an ever spinning tornado of their own morals and loyalties and ideals.

- Ghost & Taryn redeemed! I must admit, I was completely shaken by the Ghost’s betrayal in TWK, and did not expect him to be a redeemable character, though I did expect him to be involved somehow. I’m a little less satisfied with how quickly Taryn changed her spots back, especially with the build up from The Lost Sisters novella, and wish that Locke wasn’t killed off-screen. I can believe what she said happened, and that she was unhappy with the situation, but for it all to be delivered in one sitting as a monologue, it didn’t sink in for me for a while. I didn’t expect to have a redeeming arc for either of them, nor expect hints at their possible relationship, but it all fell into place nicely. At the end, I felt that the Ghost deserved to have his freedom, and that Taryn was appropriate to hold him to it.

- The Bomb and The Roach! I was happy for them to find their happily ever after, but Noooooo I didn’t want the Roach to be fridged! The Roach x The Bomb x Jude x Cardan interactions produce the best lines in the entire series and I was super sad to see the Roach exit so early. But from the little we received, it was a delight.

- Nicasia, Valerian (his curse), Locke - to me these three didn’t have the conclusions I was hoping for, but there may be open lore left to explore for Holly. I do understand why others insist that the last book be split into two and expanded upon, but the book was sharply focused on Jude and Cardan’s predicaments. Nicasia, Valerian and Locke all had unfinished stories and conflicts with both of them, but they were past issues that weren’t actively affecting the plot, and so I wasn’t troubled by their absence. But I’m hoping short stories or expanded lore in other Holly-verse novels may touch upon them.

- Vivi / Heather - This side plot got a little more attention than I expected, even though I didn’t appreciate the decisions both Vivi and Heather made (just as Jude didn’t).  I was actually expecting Heather to take the route that she did, but just a little bit further than where she ended up. I love that she went completely Hermione on the group, but really wasn’t helpful in the end (which is ok). However, I think the true recourse for Heather’s involvement was intended solely for Vivi. By Heather experiencing Faerie a second time with the expectations of the terrors it offered, she was able to see other facets of the world Vivi has ties too, which is why she gave Vivi the second chance to reintroduce it to her in a better light.

- Oak / Oriana -  I find Oriana such a delight as a character, but I don’t know why I always forget she exists until she appears on page. Which is appropriate, as she makes herself seen and be heard when she wants to. I love how helicopter parent she is with Jude even though she’s made it clear that she barely tolerates their familial ties. Still, her ability to parry Jude’s rebellious and un-lady-like behavior with her witty retorts gave us some of my favorite scenes from the previous books, and I enjoyed their brief reunion under the same circumstances at the camp. Oak, on the other hand I felt was underused as a character, and instead, justifiably used as a political object. Oak and Oriana’s relationship made for an interesting divisiveness between Team Madoc and Team Jude, that I think was an important factor, but ultimately Oak didn’t have much to do in decision makings in the QoN like he did in TCP. However, I feel this is because his character arc begins at the end of this novel with the new character ex-Queen Suren. And whether or not that story makes it onto a page, I can accept that his story was left open-ended to begin here.

Regarding Jude:

I think it’s important to highlight Jude’s development with her feelings toward Cardan - specifically with her reaction toward her exile. I wouldn’t say she’s an unreliable narrator, more so, she’s an unreliable romantic. Jude is the ‘DON’T Notice Me Senpai’ main character who throws red flags up for every action Cardan does.

A very popular theory about Cardan’s exile was that Jude would be able to pardon herself since she is part of the crown as queen. When that turned out to be true, I saw a lot of disappointment from readers with the obviousness of it - but that’s because it was obvious to ourselves, and it always has been. Cardan’s wordplay is a defining trait for his character and there have been several scenes where we the reader are completely in the know when he’s doing it and are charmed by it right along with Jude. During the exiling, Jude is not in the know and is blinded at first by her stupor as a newly wed and then later with her doubt in Cardan’s feelings for her as she flat out admits to herself that the crown pardon could be a loop hole.

This is what makes the rose garden scene such a great turning point - because they both realized they fooled each other without knowing it and are both distressed by each other’s reaction. Their trust in each other was becoming more brittle as it grew, until they realized they both could no longer play their old schemes against each other without risking that trust breaking.

All throughout, Jude has been judging and second guessing everything he does while she scrambles across this political chess board. Deny his feelings, manipulating her own feelings, pushing and pulling and advancing further to the top before her desire for power and her desire for Cardan meet at the peak. And here, between the possibility of losing the power she gained or condemning the feelings she found, is when she finally has to make that choice for herself, when she had viable reasons to go either way. With the way she struggled for both, she earned that right to choose.

Favorite moments / quotes:

- Cardan flinching at Jude’s indirect confession while she was disguised as Taryn - and Jude wholly unaware of the implications.

- Cardan relishing in his cleverness about the exile, while Jude is like WTF and they’re completely clueless about each other’s reaction until in the later rose garden scene. - Cardan’s ‘Jude, DON’T!’ - seriously, listen to the audiobook, you can hear the fear in his voice as his murder wife runs off to battle. And because we the readers can hear that fear, while Jude doesn’t, makes it more heart breaking.

- Madoc alluding to Jude (as Taryn) about Cardan’s berserk mode when he tried to prevent Jude’s capture at the palace. And of course, Jude denying it (psh)

- Cardan doing the grunt work in Jude’s camp rescue, and getting socked in the stomach for it - hah! And of course, The Roach preening he warned him.

- Cardan subconsciously protecting Jude from the arrow trap

- Jude scaring off a faerie guard with mortal menstruation.

- “Do not touch her. She is my wife.”

- How LONG have I waited for Cardan to finally witness how much Jude mutilates her body from her fights, and then for him care for her himself in his bed was just an extra mountain of whipped cream with sprinkles on top. (remember, she hid from him her hand stabbing, her self-poisoning, her leg injury from Locke’s attack, the details of Valerian’s attempt to murder her TWICE, the details of her torturous time in the undersea, etc. Let him know your WOES, woman! Y’all need to cash in some empathy points!)

- Jude having no choice but to wear Cardan’s clothes

- SLAP

- “Maybe he’d like to hear me scream.” exchange. And the hair touch!

- MY DOOR!

- The Ghost spider scrambling up the wall towards Cardan, and Taryn whiplashing him. Poor baby!

- Cardan intrigued by Slushies and Gummy Worms

- Cardan privately reprimanding Randalin about Jude and him scurrying out of the room in a panic. WHAT WAS SAID? CARDAN WAS SMILING.

- Freakin Cardan confessing and cutting her off at the door.

- Jude taking the time to panic, to mourn and to plan after the transformation. I felt giving too much haste toward a ‘Disney-true-love-spell-breaking ending’ would have ruined the direness of Cardan’s sacrifice.

- That fingers-digging-into-her-back hug.

- Tight pants, t-shirt and a Lopsided paper crown.

[titusmoody]

It’s the end of the first quarter of 2021. Here’s a brief review of the things I watched/played/read.

Games

Donut County- pretty charming, very easy, fairly satisfying to play. I’d recommend Untitled Goose Game over this, though.

Heaven’s Vault- If you only have room in your life for one space archaeology game, play Outer Wilds instead. However, you get to translate alien writings yourself (in a simplified game way) in this one, so I’d recommend both. 

Donkey Kong Country 3 103%- so many fun level mechanics in this one. The difficulty of finding and completing everything in the game was spot-on for me.

Donkey Kong Country 2 102%- Each level mechanic in this one is explored and used in far more interesting ways than DKC3, though I honestly had more fun with 3 this time around. This one is the “dark, edgy” one aesthetically which is extremely dumb. Also, there was a lot of guesswork involved in finding some of the hidden stuff, which I didn’t enjoy.

The Room 4- I like escape room games. This one was good. It continued 3′s trend of trying to shake up the format a little, which is fine (better here than in 3, I think) but I wouldn’t have minded if all 4 stayed exactly the same, just with new puzzles.

Spider-Man: Miles Morales- Everything about it was competent. Not only was each gameplay activity fine-tuned to feel good, but the structure of the game also kept kept you experiencing a good variety of each activity. PS5 graphics are good, too. Nothing about it really got me excited to play it, it was just a good after work unwinding thing.

Cyberpunk 2077- Exactly the opposite of Spider-Man in terms of quality consistency. There are aspects of this game that are amazing, horrible, and every step in between. However, I’ve thought about it quite a bit and will probably continue to think about it for both good and bad reasons.

Yooka-Laylee and the Impossible Lair- Donkey Kong Country has better level design and controls. Well, the best levels of this were every bit as good as the best DKC levels, and maybe I’m just so familiar with DKC levels that I zone out a little during the boring bits, but had to pay attention to every moment of this game. Still, I didn’t have as much of an overall good time as the DKC games I played earlier.

Hue- Good 2D puzzle-platformer. I’m no longer surprised by these, but I still appreciate them, much in the same way as I like playing escape room games. I was under the impression for a few years that because I understood the potential of puzzle platformers, it meant I wouldn’t want to play any more of them, but that’s simply not true. I had a good time with Hue.

Shows

Gravity Falls- It’s fine. Pretty entertaining. I wish there were more low-stakes kinds of episodes, just to get more familiar with different sides of the characters. It would have made the characters and setting feel more rounded.

Cowboy Bepop- I didn’t get the hype for this show when I first watched it at 21, and now I can say that it’s simply not my kind of show. I have much more appreciation for it now than I did the first time, but it doesn’t hit me emotionally the same way that it seems to hit so many people. 

Seinfeld- It’s Seinfeld. There was precisely one episode that I had never seen before, plus confirmation that I didn’t dream the episode that’s told in backwards chunks like Memento and is set in India.

Paranoia Agent- While it was disappointing that this ended up being a more simple morality tale than every Satoshi Kon movie I’ve seen, I still enjoyed watching this a lot.

Aggretsuko- I liked the mundane, every-day storylines like a modern, more empathetic Seinfeld. Unfortunately as the show went on, there were more and more wacky situations that no one actually gets into. I might watch the upcoming season if I hear that it’s less ridiculous.

Over the Garden Wall- This was really cool and I’m glad it exists. It’s ten episodes long, which is perfect for it. I thought it was at its weakest during the more lighthearted or humorous moments--precisely the opposite of Gravity Falls. The word “classy” comes to mind to describe this show. 

Beastars- Really good when it isn’t falling into anime plot and dialog cliches. A lot of this first season is dedicated to introducing characters and the setting, which I thought was very well done. I’m curious to see what Season 2 is like.

Movies

Scott Pilgrim vs the World- It’s a fun movie to watch. It definitely makes many of the characters’ flaws seem like more fun than it probably should, but I’m more bothered by the criticism I hear that boils down to “it’s a bad movie because the characters are bad people” which I suspect is an impression you only get if you lack both empathy and media comprehension.

Big- Kinda bad. It has iconic moments that are only possible with its weird premise, but it’s just not a premise that supports an entire good movie. 

Phantom of the Opera- Way better and way worse than I remember. Has the precise right amount of horses.

Knives Out- Not really a movie I needed to watch a second time, but it sure is good.

District 9- I didn’t remember most of this movie and unfortunately I zoned out for most of this rewatch, so I still feel like I don’t know what it’s about.

From up on Poppy Hill- Not one of the top tier Ghibli movies, but still really good in a down-to-earth way that I like from Ghibli. 

Enter the Dragon- I knew to expect everything to be turned up to 11, which is good because it really is a lot. I liked it, though.

Shutter Island- I have never actually liked this kind of twist-reliant movie. I thought I would for many years, but I was always disappointed. At least now I am aware that it’s not what I’m into.

Soul- The premise is much too convoluted, but it does have an excellent moment near the end.

Onward- I liked this one a lot. Why don’t more people talk about this one? It’s definitely better than Coco, which itself was really good.

A Silent Voice- The kind of movie that reminds me that sometimes Japanese storytelling is more to my taste than Hollywood style, in that scenes can be more emotionally ambiguous. 

Tangled- Good in exactly the same way as Frozen and Moana. I can’t really complain, but this isn’t the same situation as puzzle platformers or escape rooms. In this case, I do get a little sick of being completely unsurprised. This movie was made first, so it’s only by chance that this is the one that I saw last.

Monsters University- A good movie, but it really doesn’t have to be about the same characters as Monsters Inc. 

Monty Python and the Holy Grail- Still funny

The Departed- Good if you want an enjoyable crime thriller to watch, bad if you want a Scorcese movie.

Titanic- Getting very drunk and watching this with Brittany might be the best time I had in the past three months. Maybe I won’t think too hard about why a movie about the overdue, violent death of a social order resonates with me right now.

Prince of Egypt- Impressive and grand, but I didn’t really care about the characters or story.

Star Trek II: The Wrath of Khan- A good but not great (by TNG standards) concept for an episode that was made extremely enjoyable by the added budget and longer runtime of a movie.

Star Trek III: The Search for Spock- Not as good, but still watchable.

Star Trek IV: The Voyage Home- The kind of ridiculous concept you’d only make when you’ve already had three successful movies and are confident that you’ll be able to make at least another couple. The gang go back to the 1980s (present day to the original audience) and save the whales. It’s apparently exactly the right movie to watch if this is the third consecutive Star Trek movie you’re watching.

Mamma Mia- A lot of fun, but has weird problems that seem like they would’ve been easy to solve at the script level. Maybe if the conflicts had been introduced early on instead of dragging the whole pace of the movie down for much of the last 20 minutes, I would’ve enjoyed the whole thing.

Books

The Well of Ascension- The second book of a trilogy. Very competent. Introduces a whole lot of minor conflicts that really keep the momentum going and give the characters short-term goals that contribute to the overall plot and their arcs. 

The Hero of Ages- The final book in the same trilogy. Equally competent. I wish there had been more long-term payoffs, which is the trade-off you make by stuffing the books full of those short-term conflicts. Spoilers ahead, but not ones that I think ruin the experience of reading. It’s very odd that of three of the central characters, one dies, one becomes a god and then dies, and one becomes God. 

Check Please- About as pleasant as it gets. Full of the type of minor character that sitcoms end up running into the ground because they’re too one-note (Creed from The Office, for instance) but in a series with a pre-planned length, there’s no chance for it to get stale. Plus, I really liked both of the lead characters.

Milkman- Good book about “The Troubles” in Ireland. Very odd collection of characters, but the narrator had an extremely enjoyable voice to read. 

And Then There Were None- Classic mystery story for a reason. Feels more like a Hitchcock movie than Sherlock Holmes. I read it in one day both because the prose was easy and I wanted to know what happened next. Not much substance to it, unfortunately.

Homegoing- Extremely ambitous book where each chapter is narrated by the descendant of a previous chapter, alternating between two branches of the same family. I liked it quite a bit, though because I only finished it yesterday I don’t have much reflection done yet so my opinion has yet to solidify.

[walkingshcdow-a]

Longtime follower, big time fan! I love your writing and I wanted to know what you would suggest or have any tips or recommend about how to start writing a book? I want to (and have a bit of an idea) but I don't know where to begin?? Thank you!!

I want to start this ask, first with thanks and then with a disclaimer. Firstly, thank you so much for following me and for reading/enjoying my stuff! I really appreciate it and it makes me feel very warm-and-fuzzy to know that someone on the other end of the internet reached out to me and thought highly enough of my writing to ask for advice. Secondly, I am a writing teacher. I teach high school creative writing and have degrees in English and Secondary English Education. I have written numerous short stories and one day hope to get a PhD in English or an MFA in creative writing. On the one hand, I am Supremely Qualified to answer your question. On the other, I’m... not. I am not a published author (yet) and most of my writing energy goes towards roleplay and fanfiction. The longest finished work I’ve created as an adult is my “Wooden Overcoats” fanfiction “The Greatest Undertaking”, which doesn’t “officially” crack novel length (50,000 words, give or take). When you say you seek advice on writing advice, I’m going to tell you something I’d never tell my students: you don’t have to take my advice. If something else works better for you (this part I do usually tell them), do that. I am not and no writer is the font of all writing knowledge. Anyone who says they are is trying to sell you something, usually, a book on how to write, written by an author you’ve never read or heard of. 

Okay, now that that’s out of the way... let’s talk about what helps me in hopes that some of it helps you!

Don’t be afraid to start. People will make you feel like your idea isn’t worth pursuing. Most of them are doing it on accident and would be horrified to know that their thoughtless comments are holding you back. For years, I did not write characters who had parents because when I was eleven, my mom read a fanfiction I wrote and the main character was critical of her parents and my mom asked me, “Is this how you feel?” If a circumstance hit too close to home, I didn’t write it even if my mom wasn’t going to read it. Thankfully, I’m past that. People won’t be the only thing that will hold you back. Time, fear of failure, impostor syndrome... all sorts of insidious things will give you excuses not to start. Do not let them win. 

Some form of pre-planning is extremely useful! It’s not necessary. Most of my short stories have never been outlined. I just sit at the keyboard and type until I have a short story and then I edit later. But for my longer stories, I find an outline keeps me organized and on track. Currently, I’m writing a story called “Catch and Release”. “Catch and Release” has two separate outlines (I kept the original, even though I scrapped at least half of it), both about five pages long. The outlines, for me, include character summaries (who is this character, what did they do in the last story- “The Greatest Undertaking” - that is relevant, what is their goal now, how do they perceive themselves/others, how do others perceive them, what other details are important), and chapter summaries with bullet-point lists of what plot points and emotional beats need to happen in each chapter. I did this in Google Docs because it means I can access it anywhere (and often do) and so I can use the strikethrough function to cross off plot points and emotional beats I’ve hit in writing. This keeps me on track when I take breaks from writing. I haven’t worked on the writing since a little over a week ago, since real life has picked up. I opened Chapter Nine the other day and was like, “Why did I start with Sid Marlowe?” I checked my outline and remembered exactly where I left off. It’s nice. I wasn’t as thorough with “The Greatest Undertaking” and there was a point where I took a month-long hiatus from working on it (I was teaching remotely from a different city because of the pandemic) and when I picked up “The Greatest Undertaking”, I thought to myself “What would have made writing easier for me?” Your outline doesn’t have to be as detailed as mine. It could be more detailed. Just create a guidebook for yourself in case you get stuck or have to take a break from your work. 

Speaking of preplanning... Brainstorm! Keep a list of your ideas for future fics/stories/etc. Write little plot summaries to refer to later. I like to you the “[Somebody] wanted [goal], but [obstacle], so [climax], then [ending].” model when I’m too busy to write a detailed summary. I’d also recommend looking at and utilizing traditional outlines, like Freytag’s pyramid or the “four-act structure” a professor suggested to me at a Shakespeare conference if you want to push back against traditional storytelling that allows for a longer focus on the resolution/consequences as the characters establish a new normal. Something. Anything to make you know what ideas you have and what shape they might take. Pictures can be helpful!

Even though preplanning is useful, don’t get married to your outline. If you love your outline too much, you might spend all your time working on it instead of the story or you might not give yourself the flexibility you need and deserve to write the story of your dreams. I realized when I was writing “Catch and Release” that I needed the latitude to add in a scene between Chapman and Calliope and to have Chapman and Antigone interact at least once in the series, since they didn’t in “The Greatest Undertaking”. I was able to edit the outline easily enough to add a whole chapter (Chapter Nine, which I’m working on). I might have to add up to three more chapters to hit all of my bullet points and I know my ending has changed from the first outline. That’s okay! As long as I keep writing and preserve the emotional beats, I’ll be content. Some people would hate this edit-as-you-go approach and insist upon sticking to the outline. If that works for you, great. But I’m not going to commit myself to subplots that don’t serve the narrative. 

Decide if you’re a plot-driven or character-driven writer (or, rather, if your piece is plot-driven or character-driven). I’ve put so much emphasis on outlining plot in this thing because I’m character-driven. I am constantly thinking about “but why are they like that?” and “What motivates character X? What is their payoff if they act?” I think in terms of character relationships. This is great! Super helpful! But when it comes to getting my characters do things... I need to outline a plot otherwise they will sit around and talk about their feelings for 30,000 words and nothing will happen. I compensate by making sure my characters have goals outside their intimate relationships, other interests/hobbies/struggles, and lots of things to do. In “Catch and Release”, I had to think of an event that would allow my characters to act out their feelings, rather than think about them privately. If you’re more plot-driven, you will need to make character outlines to keep track of why your characters are doing things that they do and to keep them somewhat consistent in how they behave. People in real life are sometimes inconsistent. In fiction, readers are more likely to notice “out of character” behavior... especially if it isn’t tied to an important motivator. You might need to make character arcs instead of a plot event list. And that’s okay! Do what you need to do to make sure that whether you’re plot- or character-driven, the two tie nicely together. 

Practice writing and read a lot. There are two ways to become a better writer. The first is my favorite: write a lot. In between short story projects and novella/novel-length fics, I write my RP characters here. I experiment with style and voice and character development here all the time. This is my “take a break from writing” writing corner, lol. It’s made me a lot better and the partners with whom I write make me better. It keeps me in continual practice with both story craft and mechanics. The second way to improve as a writer is to read a lot. I’m going to say something my colleagues would probably hate: watching TV and listening to podcasts counts as reading, too. Study how the author or writers craft the book/episode/movie you’re consuming. Look at the dialogue and plot structure. Imitate the parts you like, mix and match pieces of media, use one author’s style to tackle another’s subject material. Decide what you think is good writing and what you think isn’t. I’m having my students do an activity from the book called “No Plot? No Problem!” by Chris Baty, the founder of National Novel Writing Month. It asks writers to list all their favorite tropes, conventions, stylistic choices, etc. and all their least favorites and then to only include things they listed as favorites and to avoid writing about things they hate. Writing is a self-betterment activity, but you don’t get better by punishing yourself. You want to enjoy writing, right? Don’t “write what you know”. Write what you know, what you love, and what you want to know more about! Imitating writers you admire is a good thing for both original and fanfiction. Practice, practice, practice!

Set goals for yourself. I have an app called Habitica to help with my to-do lists. I have three things that are writing-related on it right now: “Respond to writing prompt” (habit), “Work on creative project” (daily), and “Finish Catch and Release” (singular event). On Habitica, you rank the level of ease for each thing. “Respond to writing prompt” is “easy”. It can be a prompt here, working on a chapter of “Catch and Release”, or doing a separate writing prompt. “Work on creative project” is “medium” and can be any of the above... plus outlining or another artistic expression, because sometimes I forget to branch out. I can’t check “Catch and Release” off my list until I finish the actual story and that’s ranked as “difficult”. I get a different amount of points for doing the things I need to do and I lose points for not doing them. I also (unofficially) have a goal that all of my chapters must be between 2000 and 5000 words. There’s no formal system for that one. Either way, these keep me motivated to keep writing. Find a system of accountability for yourself. Some people do well if they reward themselves (I don’t. There’s nothing I want enough to work for except things that have intrinsic rewards, like... I get to keep my job if I do my job. Telling me that is more motivating than telling me I’ll get ice cream for finishing my lesson plans. I can get ice cream even if I don’t. I’m an adult with a modest amount of disposable income or I’ll decide I don’t want ice cream. The only times I’ve done this self-denial tactic and seen results I also dehydrated and deprived myself of sleep. I do not recommend that in the slightest). Others thrive on working competitively against friends, the clock, or themselves. Still others accomplish their goals only by having external people hold them accountable. I will admit: I sometimes need a shove from a friend which is why...

Enlist friends to get opinions from. I have the world’s best group chat on Discord. All three of them are writing partners here and familiar with my fandom (”Wooden Overcoats” in this instance; though at least two of them are familiar with “Phantom of the Opera”/Susan Kay’s “Phantom” and I’ve forced the whole group to know about my original characters). Each of them has a different perspective so I can ask their thoughts and brainstorm with them, throw ideas at them, etc. or just ask them to make sure I’m writing once a week or so. I have other friends who know nothing about my fandom or my stories but who are willing to listen objectively to look for plot holes. And then I have friends who are content to know I’m writing and never ask for more info. Writing is such a solitary activity that it’s important to find support and community where you can! 

Believe in yourself. You can have all the support in the world, but you have to remind yourself that your story is worth telling and that no one can tell it quite like you can. Get writing!

I wish you the absolute best of luck on your writing endeavors! If you ever want to talk or follow up, I’d love to hear how it’s going! Take care!

[merlucito-booksandstories]

Vengeful by V.E. Schwab

My rating: 5 of 5 stars

How can I review this book without sounding like a madman? I don't know if I can....

I FUCKING LOVE THIS BOOK.

I was already in love with Victor, Syd and Mitch, so going back to them was like visiting a friend after a long time. I was immediacy invested in what was happening and (just like in the first book) the formatting only make it better. Also just like the first book, I couldn't stop reading, I made myself stop because I needed to sleep because it was for me only I could have read this book in a day or two without sleeping, but... you know... life exist and I needed to be a functional human being, sadly.

I also really enjoyed the new characters. Marcella and June were great, badass and their powers were great! And now into spoilers...

**SPOILERS AFTER THE CUT**

ELI BACKSTORY.

I didn't expect that, to be honest. I mean, I supposed he would be an orphan survivor of abuse because of the scars that were mentioned in the first book, but THAT?? My god, it was intense and sad, but also fascinating because you can see how he was from a very young age and that make him even more interesting as a character. How he trained himself to pose as a normal kid, to express emotions and to make seem like he had them... it was just great.

Also all the time in EON (that btw in Spanish is called ONE) was... interesting, to say the least. The experiments that Harvert made on him were perfect, horrific and mad, but perfect... and the payoff... great. Just great. His time "helping" Stell was also great to see how much he was willing to do to gain his freedom but also to continue with his goals of eliminate EOs and Victor specially.

VICTOR SITUATION.

I suffer. Man, I really suffer for him. I don't know why I'm so attached to Victor, but I am and his arc in this book was painful. I wanted to help him and protect him. I was so tense, wishing he could find a solution and also escape from EON and... not die. Also, watching him grow as a character, being attached to Syd and Mitch more and more, even when he didn't want to admit it or demonstrate it.... and when he finally confronts Eli again... that "Run... Catch me." part I was screaming internally. THAT ENDING.

Can I say...? I think Eli is alive, it's just take him longer to cure himself because of the serum.

MARCELLA.

Like I say, I really, really liked her. Her power was AMAZING. Her backstory was also amazing. I think she has the perfect combination of power, backstory and personality that makes a good badass woman (she's also a little power-crazy but it's okay, we like her anyway). In a moment I was "what are you doing, woman????" because she went way over the top with some stuff, but still... I liked how her arc went and ended.

SYD AND JUNE

Since book one I wanted to hug and protect Syd and this book was the same in that aspect. Seeing her grow was great, and how her powers improved over the years... wow. I was worried that she would bring back Serena tho, and I'm glad she didn't. Her relationship with Mitch, Dol and Victor was really cute and I like how they became a family in their own way. I also really liked June and her power, and I'm intrigued to know more about her and her backstory. Her relationship with Syd tho... I don't know. At times, it felt cute and needed, but other times felt kind of creepy. I suppose that was the intention. In the end I understand that she wanted to protect Sydney but also I'm glad that Syd went back with Mitch and Dol.

So, basically, I'm in love with these characters and story and... I hope the next book is on the horizon. Also, I think Schwab has become one of my new favorites authors... I would need to read some of her YA books someday, when I'm in the mood for YA again.

View all my reviews

[no-the-other-thaddeus]

Thoughts on Hazbin Hotel

Hi, hello. I doubt many of you follow me for anything other than reblogs, but I felt compelled to share my impressions of the pilot for Hazbin Hotel, now that it’s finally released.

To begin with, I want to make it clear: this is not a project I have followed very actively. I mostly had foreknowledge of it due to following Gooseworx, who worked on the show’s music, at least in so far as composing some of the character themes (Angel Dust’s most notably). Beyond that, I’ve been a casual observer of the tumblr RP scene for the show’s characters for some time, but that’s about it. I do not have extensive knowledge of the show’s development process, or the backgrounds of the people working on it, beyond some potential concerns about the main creator, Vivziepop.

All that is to say, I am not a super-fan who has been with the project from day one. I have not watched any of the many streams it seems were done of clean-up work by Vivzie herself or anything like that, nor have I donated any money to the show’s production. This is coming from someone with a casual interest in the show as a fan of animation, who was struck by some of the motifs and character designs. I am basing my opinion purely on the pilot and what it presents. Not any sort of extended character notes/rough future plans that have been discussed by the creators or distributed to patrons.

With that out of the way, let’s begin.

Some would start with positives and ease into the negatives when doing this sort of thing, but the thing that strikes me most, relatively fresh off watching the pilot, is a negative, and one I feel should be addressed before anything else; the excessive vulgarity of the dialog in places. I am by no means a prude, and I understand that this is supposed to be Hell. That Charlie is supposed to be an underdog. But even with all that considered, the constant slinging around of every swear word in the book, plus a slur or two, is downright distracting at multiple points.

This is probably partly a consequence of trying to condense things down to 30 minutes. They went for a constant pace rather than taking many, if any, moments to let things breathe, or showcase the relationships between characters. This could change if/when the show gets picked up and begins proper, obviously, but in the pilot, it only highlights what I would say are these sorts of shows weaknesses: a reliance on vulgarity and violence as its source of humor. Not to say that that would carry over if a proper 13 episode season got contracted out, but it might highlight the wrong things to potential investors in the show, which could lead to creative conflicts down the line.

I don’t even necessarily have a problem with vulgarity and violence in humor, but there’s a certain vitriolic edge to the tone of the script when anyone but Charlie or Vaggie are involved that I find unpleasant. It spends so little time actually focusing on the fact that Charlie really wants to try and provide people a chance to be better, which I think is a message worth sending. Instead, the pilot mostly spends time on showing how stupid everyone else in Hell thinks the idea is. Without much payoff or reassurance by the time the credits roll. Even Alastor is only investing his time in it for entertainment’s sake, and though that’s obviously meant to be the beginning of an arc for him, it doesn’t help the overall feel of the pilot one bit.

Another problem is that, aside from Alastor, and maybe Husk, I didn’t feel like any of the characters outside Charlie and Vaggie were bad people in a lovable way. Angel Dust has a single moment where he displays any empathy whatsoever, and it’s brief and he doesn’t act on it. It’s good that it’s there, but it really isn’t much after how much his actions fucked the Hotel’s prospects.

I suppose Sir Pentious is an exception, but not much comes of his presence in the pilot. I appreciate the archetype he represents, and would enjoy seeing him end up a resident of the hotel, but besides instigating some of the central conflict, he doesn’t do terribly much for the story in the longer term here.

Katie Killjoy is clearly someone we’re supposed to hate, and hopefully see get comeuppance later, but isolated to the pilot, she’s just a misery to endure the presence of. She exudes cynicism and toxicity to a degree that made me uncomfortable the entire time she was on screen. Some might argue that that’s a sign she’s serving her purpose, but I’m not so sure. Maybe if she got at least taken down a peg at some point, it wouldn’t be so bad, but as it is, she just maybe gets roughed up by Charlie some. We don’t really see the outcome of that scuffle.

But I suppose I’m rambling now. Unfortunately, my thoughts on the positives are much less long-winded and nuanced. The animation is quite expressive and fluid in it’s best moments, and it hardly ever looks outright bad. The VA work is also soild, and although there aren’t many of them, the musical numbers are strong. There’s definitely potential here, but as far as what we have now...I can’t give a terribly concrete seal of approval. I hope the show gets picked up by somebody so that it can get a chance to work out the kinks and become something more.

And more importantly, I hope Vivzie doesn’t end up milkshake ducking herself.

[dexi-green]

Avengers:Endgame Thoughts !!SPOILERS!!

Just some random thoughts and questions and such about the movie. There are spoilers so…don’t read if you haven’t seen it and care about spoilers. I tried to organize it a bit but we all know that’s impossible.

Okay so..I’m not the biggest fan of the Russo Brothers and what they have done with their Marvel films. There have been some improvements, and some things that just can’t be helped and I just want to make that known first. I don’t really hate any of the films they made, they are definitely enjoyable, and fun, have great moments.

I’ve been a bit critical about how they used some of the big storylines from the comics in the films, because they never felt the same (they never can honestly, comic books and films are different formats, different ways of storytelling) but this honestly is the closest to the annuals. This is the closest to waiting an entire year after reading comics each month, to the big huge event. It feels as big as those. Civil War didn’t to me, Age of Ultron didn’t, Infinity War kinda, but this. This felt huge. Especially when actually watching it.

This is a huge fanservice film. You could probably enjoy it without any prior knowledge, or without seeing all the other films, but god, it’s better if you do. Soooo many little throwbacks and easter eggs and payoffs from the earliest films and the comics. So I highly suggest the other films, I think every single one film has some sort of tribute in this one. (I’m making a list of references and such so I’ll see)

So one of my biggest gripes out of the way…the Joe Russo cameo. It completely pulled me out of the film. The scene itself could’ve been a nice little thing to see what Steve has been up to during those five years but…just watching and listening to what was mostly Joe Russo talking and inserting himself into the universe…eh :/ It’s not like a Stan Lee cameo, he didn’t have a hand in creating these characters and we don’t owe the Russo Brothers as much as we owe Lee and Kirby and Simon and Ditko and Bendis, etc. I think his cameo in Civil War and Winter Soldier was better, he barely talked in WS and not at all in CW, was barely on screen, it was fine. I just felt it was a little too much… His cameo was longer than Stan’s.

Also that was their way of making the “first openly gay character in a Marvel movie.” they even said that, “We felt it was important that one of us play him, to ensure the integrity and show it is so important to the filmmakers that one of us is representing that.” which...is really a cop out I feel. That LGBTQ representation, the smallest line of being on a date, could’ve easily gone to Valkyrie/Brunnhilde’s character, seeing as Tessa Thompson says her character is queer and played her that way (take one look at Tessa’s or Brie Larson’s twitter or some interviews, it isn’t hard to see they support it), and Tessa is actually Bisexual in real life. But whatever I guess...

Though it was definitely funnier than the other movies the Russo’s have done, and DEFINITELY prettier. I’ve had a big issue with the color grading and scene composition in the Russo’s movies. Say what you will, Joss Whedon knew how to make a comic splash page translate to screen, but the Russo’s did...the airport fight scene. The scene’s in their films that did have great composition were pulled straight from the comics (like Steve Vs. Tony, Shield vs. Repulsors) Okay. But, in Endgame it definitely looks better. There are memorable scenes. There are shots that I thought...okay thats art. The end battle had some shots, like Thanos in the foreground pointing his sword, and his army behind him. When Tony was looking out of the Benatar and saw the glowing light that is Captain Marvel. When Okoye, T’Challa, and Shuri walk out of the portal to the final battle, it’s a bit hazy, almost dream like, gives the feeling of Steve seeing them and not knowing whether this was real or not. The colors still look a bit dull in some scenes, but at this point it seems like the Russo’s are resigned to gray and mud and mess to get that gritty “realistic” vibe that for some reason is what people want and not the escapism, fantasy, cosmic stories that comics can be.

I did really like the small nods towards how relationships formed or degraded throughout time, or how people changed, especially during the five years we didn’t see. We got a little nod towards Carol and Rhodey’s relationship from the comics with…a nod and a good luck and a lingering look. Natasha calls Rocket fluffball, I think it was, and says she gets e-mails from him. Bruce and Natasha are on some sort of not dating but close friends terms after hardly interacting in Infinity War. Definitely acknowledging Age of Ultron and not just making it a joke and trying to push it aside. Nebula and Rocket seem to have gotten closer, probably due to all of their friends dusting. Rocket and Bruce seem to be on some level of friendship, or at least acknowledge each others connection to Thor. Okoye calling Natasha, Nat. Carol has been coming to earth somewhat regularly. Tony and Nebula playing the paper football game, her giving him the food even when he offered it to her, (It reminded me of the blueberry bit in the first Avengers) working together to try and get somewhere. TONY AND MORGAN!! He raised a whole five year old kid. He definitely seems like a stay at home dad, especially since Pep is the CEO of Stark Industries.

It’s really nice (and sad) to see how some people’s lives moved forward. How people tried to move on, how all these different personalities coped with the loss. Seeing Cassie has aged was definitely a favorite. Cassie has thought her dad was dead for five years, and for Scott he was only gone for five hours, but he comes back to his little girl as a teenager. At the end, when we see them together with Hope, we know that Scott now has to go forward knowing he missed five years of his daughter’s life, and is probably going to try and make the most of it. Maybe that means giving up Ant-Man, or having her join in (we need Stature, I mean come on, we need another young avenger). But it was nice to see that time didn’t just stand still until the Avengers found a fix. It kept moving forward.

I wish we would’ve gotten a bit more of Wakanda/Wakandans. Okoye was still alive, and I think M’Baku survived the Snap as well, but I don’t think we saw him until the final battle. We only got a couple glimpses of Wakanda. Which I guess makes sense because with both T’Challa and Shuri gone, Wakanda needed leadership (though I’m unsure as to whether Ramonda dusted as well), but it would’ve been nice for Okoye to maybe be a little involved in the efforts to get the stone, especially considering Wakanda is so advanced. Even without Shuri there could’ve been something they could contribute. T’Challa really had like one or two lines basically but okay.

I sorta didn’t like Thanos dusting away. I was a bit off put at the beginning when Thor cut of his head because to me, that was Nebula or Gamora’s kill (though seeing as both Gamora and Nebula seemed somewhat sad after seeing him die (Gamora after she seemed to kill him in IW and Nebula after Thor went for the head) MCU Gamora and Nebula might not want to do that). I understand it though, Thor was angry. At the end I was hoping that Thanos wouldn’t dust so we could get that kill, and sort of mirror Tony’s fear of being the only survivor, but… I guess it’s the writer’s poetic justice. It’s not bad, but I just kinda hoped they would go a different way with it.

I love when the music cuts out and Quill is just dancing and singing to himself. “So he’s an idiot”.

“I bet the raccoon didn’t have to climb a mountain.” “Technically he’s not a raccoon you know?” “oh whatever he eats garbage.” Are they talking about Rocket...or...Thor?

That girl power scene? We love it. “Don’t worry” “She’s got help.”

I love how they pass around Tony’s Gauntlet like a football, trying to get it to the van. But when Peter had it and was thrown to the ground and was curled up clutching it, I was so prepared to cry.

Same with Rocket trying to protect Groot.

No vision. I didn’t really find myself even thinking of him all that much during the film. We got a line or two but that’s about it. It makes me wonder about the ‘WandaVision’ show and whether that title was just to throw people off, or if he is going to be in it.

I’d be really interested in seeing more of what happened during those 5 years. Maybe I just want to see more of Tony as a dad? Maybe… But to see how everyone tries to move forward. Like what does Cassie do? Did her mom and step-dad dust to? Was she alone? Did the Avengers check on her? I think Bruce mentions he spent 18 months in a Gamma Lab. I would love to see how he came to terms with Hulk. I would love to see how the Asgardian’s settled. Etc. I think there are some interesting stories there, maybe for future shows or comics or stories.

CAROL DANVERS / CAPTAIN MARVEL

I love that Carol Danvers had a small moment/lingering shot when they were looking at everyone who dusted and she saw Nick Fury. Another little nod towards a relationship without being overt and having her mention to characters how Nick Fury was a close friend. I mean that was the reason why they came out with the Captain Marvel movie before this. So the audience members who saw both would understand Carol’s role, powers, motives, and relationships before so they wouldn’t have to squeeze it all into this movie.

I also forgot that Captain Marvel was even in this movie after the last time they showed her in the beginning because I was so wrapped up in everything else, so when she showed up at the end I was genuinely surprised and excited! They really hyped her up to be the most powerful hero, but didn’t overuse her or make her OP at all. They gave everyone else their time knowing that she has the future MCU ahead of her. I think they spent a good amount of time on the original avengers as this really was their send off, knowing the rest of the characters have future films/shows to shine in. (Which kind of makes me forgive the lack of Wakanda..but still…)

The look on Thanos’ face when Carol showed up, amazing. Her exchange with Peter? Pure and beautiful. And that little *dink* when he tries to headbutt her? Pure comedy.

Thanos pulling the power stone out of the gauntlet to use against Carol was...forgive me...a power move.

THOR ODINSON & LOKI LAUFEYSON

I know a lot of people think Thor’s mental health/PTSD was just played as a joke, but I don’t think it was. I mean there have been times they tried to sweep Tony’s mental health under the rug and times where (maybe just the fandom) treated Tony as a villain for how it showed itself.

Thor didn’t want to think about it. Thor was done. He wanted to drink and forget. He didn’t want people to talk about Thanos, or Loki, or anything that happened. He made a new home for all the Asgardians and then retreated into himself. When we first see him, Bruce stops and asks Thor if he’s okay and tells him that he was in a similar dark spot as well and that Thor was the one who helped him out. It’s a sweet moment, yeah it’s sandwiched by some jokes, but it's there. As is the moment when Thor talks to his mother for the last time. Frigga gives him piece of mind. Let’s him know that she knows what her fate is, that it isn’t his fault, which is one weight off his shoulder. She lets him know that he doesn’t need to be whatever he thinks he needs to be, just to be who he is. He doesn’t need to be an Asgardian King, or whatever else his father wanted, if that's not what Thor wants. Being himself is enough to be worthy. So he fights that final fight (completely okay in the fact that Steve is worthy as well, even saying he knew it! So he must’ve knew Steve was pretending not to be able to pick it up all the way in AOU), he makes Valkyrie/Brunnhilde King/Queen of Asgard, and he goes with the Guardians, because that's where he wants to be.  He’s not being who he is supposed to be, but who he is. Which seems to be someone who wants to have fun and save people who need saving. Which I think is a nice mirror to Chris Hemsworth’s relationship to playing the character. He said that he prefers the fun, comedic Thor that Taika made with Ragnarok, and doesn’t as much like playing the uber serious Thor from previous films. He even said he’d be open to more Thor movies if Taika Waititi was directing.

While I hope we see Thor in Guardians Vol.3, and his story didn’t feel as final as Steve and Tony’s did, he did come full circle. From fighting tooth and nail to be a worthy king, to finally accepting who he truly is and being comfortable with accepting that. Sort of mirroring Loki.

Speaking of Loki...His scenes in this movie were definitely more humorous than anything. I know people wanted a better end for him. I’ll be honest, I liked his end in Infinity War (though I did believe he might still be alive because he didn’t revert back to his Jotun form when he died in IW). But for all the same reasons as Thor. He started feeling tremendous envy and hate for his brother and father, felt the need to prove himself, though he took a very different route than Thor, he got to a point where he accepted who he truly was. A Jotun, and an Odinson, Thor’s brother, Prince of Asgard. So to me, yeah it would be nice to see a different ending for Loki, (if they do bring him back I feel they either can’t kill him or have to kill him for real), I’m content with his entire arc.

BRUCE BANNER / HULK

Bruce has finally come full circle as well. He started off wanting to actually kill himself because of the Hulk, but now he has found the ‘Professor Hulk’ middle ground. He even says he sees it as an ‘evolution’ (X-Men reference/hint maybe??). After Ragnarok and Infinity War, something during those five years lead both Hulk and Bruce to accept each other. Just imagine how happy Hulk was when those kids came up asking for a photo. It’s no longer “Earth hates Hulk”. Hulk is a hero, he has fans! Young kids who aren’t scared. Bruce doesn’t have to be scared of running rampant and out of control and hurting innocent people. He doesn’t need to be locked in a cage. He can be completely who he is without holding back.

Bruce admitting that he tried to bring back Natasha with his Snap…oof.

NATASHA ROMANOFF / NATALIE RUSHMAN/ BLACK WIDOW & CLINT BARTON / HAWKEYE / RONIN

I actually really liked the beginning and how they handled Hawkeye’s story. Him helping Lila with her Archery and her walking out of frame, then when it cuts back to where she should’ve been only some dust particles in the air? Amazing, show not tell. We didn’t need to actively see Clint’s family dust away (honestly it makes it sadder that he didn’t see it either, didn’t know what happened, they were just gone). And we didn’t need a scene of him talking about it. We just got into it. The Ronin story isn’t my favorite but I’m glad too much time wasn’t spent on it and only the parts that mattered were addressed. That his family is gone and he’s angry. Natasha still cares about him deeply and has been looking for him.

Also..who puts mayo on a hot dog?

Natasha and Clint’s relationship is one that I really like. It’s this pure friendship and salvation from the beginning. Clint was the one who made the call to not kill her, but rather show her a different path. In Endgame, Natasha does the exact same for Clint. She takes him from being a ruthless assassin, angry at the world, to fighting for the good guys again. They are family. She is Aunt Nat to his kids, friends with his wife. She knows about his family and ‘secret’ life when no other Avengers did. It’s because of him (and Nick Fury) that she has a family not only in them, but the rest of the Avengers. But it just makes stories like Infinity War/Endgame and Civil War sadder for her because, almost all the other Avengers have a life outside of the team, and have families to go to, but not her. So when they break up, and aren’t talking, she is left alone. No wonder she stays at the compound. When Rhodey is telling her about Clint and she starts crying, it’s so sad, because he was her family and he just left.

Natasha and Clint literally fighting over who gets to sacrifice themself? Big oof. Natasha really makes me like Clint’s character in the films. And as much as I love the “refund theory” of Steve returning the soul stone to Vormir and getting Natasha back, and I would love a better send off (like with Thor) I think her story has really come full circle.

One of the biggest themes I noticed in her arc throughout the films is choice. When she was in the Red Room, she had no choice but to do what she was told, because of what happened there she doesn’t get the choice of having children or not. In Winter Soldier she felt like she felt like the choice of fighting for the ‘good’ guys was an illusion. Etc. But here is the biggest choice she can make, and she decided that she’d rather die so everyone else, everyone she cares about, can have a chance. She wasn’t going to let someone else make that choice for her. She did it despite Clint’s protest. She finally found something, someone she chose to die for. And the imagery of her on the ground not only mirrors her position in Tony’s vision from AOU, but the pool of blood draining from her is almost literally her getting the red out of her ledger like she mentions she wants to do in Avengers. “I’ve got red on my ledger. Now I need to wipe it out.” She has finally atoned for all the bad she has done.

I know she didn’t get a funeral scene or a big send off, but I think that was as to not overshadow or take away from Tony’s. Which is sad. Maybe we will get a better send off in a different film or show. We did get those lines from Clint and Wanda about hoping she knew that they did it, that her sacrifice wasn’t for nothing. Which is small, but it is the person who cared about her the most.

Also...did no one tell Clint and Natasha that they would need to sacrifice someone to get the stone? Surely Nebula knew...

STEVEN ROGERS / CAPTAIN AMERICA

“I can do this all day.” “Yeah, I know.” Even Steve is tired of himself.

Scott: “That’s America’s Ass.”

Steve, later, looking at his own ass on a past version of himself: “That is America’s Ass.”

My mind immediately when we heard Sam’s voice over Steve’s comm: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=uB1D9wWxd2w

Also on that note... I absolutely love that Sam was the one that Steve choose to carry on Captain America’s legacy. In the comics both Sam and Bucky take up the mantle and I was sincerely hoping Bucky wouldn’t in the films. At least not at first. Bucky has so much interesting story to explore from when he was the Winter Soldier and still has so much healing to do from not only that time, but everything he was thrust back into when he was still settling in Wakanda..and being dusted. In the films, Sam is perfect to be the Captain America of modern times. He knows how the modern world works, he’s been in the military, dealt with war (both earthly threats and extra terrestrial), and I feel he’s emotionally/mentally stable enough for it. Hell he ran a veteran support group which inspired Steve to run a support group for survivors during the five years after the snap. Also, I don’t think I need to get into why having a Black/African-American Captain America in these times is amazing. I would love to see him in a movie, but if we get a live action show on the Disney+ streaming service, I think that would be great.

When they showed someone sitting on the bench, I was like okay that’s Steve. But how skinny and small he looked I thought it was going to be Pre-Serum Steve...but no, we got old man Steve. Which surprised me, it shouldn’t have but it did, because when he left and they couldn’t bring him back I leaned over to my sister and said “he stayed in the ‘40s”. But I had like 1000 thoughts running through my head every second of this movie. (except when the theater fell silent when Tony...ya know) It sorta reminded me of Logan for a hot second...

I’ve seen some people say, "It's not in character for Steve to live a life and not fight".

Every single movie has been building to Steve getting more and more tired of fighting. First he sacrifices himself for everyone else. Then he is woken up to fight in a war, and a world, he barely knows anything about, and starts seeing that privacy and freedom might not mean the same things they use to. That the governments meant to protect the people have even more secrets and lies, and are becoming more violent and ruthless. His whole vision sequence (and basically entire arc) in AOU was about how he needs war and to fight but how he doesn’t want that to be the case. He wants to go home. He wants the 40s. He wants Peggy. He wanted Bucky. He wants a family and a life. It hints that sometimes he may feel he doesn’t deserve it, or that the time for that has passed.

He didn't leave Bucky behind, Bucky knew full well what was happening and didn't seem too bothered. He knew and was happy that Steve had this chance. He loves him and wouldn't keep him from that. More than likely Bucky sees a future for himself as well, just not in the 40s. Bucky could have went back with him if he wanted to. But he didn't. Sam even offers to go back with Steve, Bucky standing right there and Steve says it's okay. Bucky doesn't protest. Bucky is smiling. Plus we don't know exactly what happened. Maybe Steve would have still fought here and there, maybe he did help that timeline/universe Bucky. He did still have the shield with him. Or maybe he was a house husband/dad while Peggy worked. Whatever he did he was clearly happy and content with all his choices and no one protested.

I actually really love this ending for Steve. He finally gets to rest. He finally gets the woman he loves. He can be content knowing the world is safe and that there are others willing to protect it. From the skinny, sick, kid who was always searching for a fight and felt he was (or had to be) alone in the world. He found a family, his love, a life.

TONY STARK / IRON MAN

I really love that for the scene in the 70s they used James D’Arcy to play Edwin Jarvis. He played Jarvis in the Agent Carter show, and I think most people who watch any of the shows know that the shows are payed dirt in the MCU movies. So as someone who loved that show, loved the characters and actors, seeing that was great! It intertwines the show more closely to the films, and it was nice for Tony to see the other man who raised him even for a second. Yeah it would’ve been nice to see Paul Bettany, but I feel he is more connected to J.A.R.V.I.S Tony’s A.I rather than the actual person of Jarvis.

I love that Tony gets a reunion/closure with his father (similar to Thor’s with his mother). Before his own untimely death, he gets to talk with his father and really see things through his eyes and learn what his mind set truly was. Now that he’s a father himself he understands a bit more the struggles Howard had, he knows Howards own self doubts. That despite everything Howard cared, and that Howard’s own father was cruel to him. And they get to share that last hug and is able to thank him! Just like he wanted to in Civil War. He gets to say I love you, and thank you for everything.

Peter says he “got all dusty. Then [he] must’ve passed out”. So like...no time passed for those who got dusted in the snap...

I was sorta hoping Tony would wield Mjolnir as well, but he didn’t :/ but it’s fine. He doesn’t need it. He wields the Gauntlet/Infinity Stones.

Something Kevin Smith brought up that I hadn’t really thought of was that Tony was completely set. While he definitely had regrets and felt guilty, he had a good life in front of him. He 100% could have just lived the rest of his natural born days out with his family and been as happy as he could have been. But seeing that picture of Peter, and knowing all that was lost, feeling guilty, and just being the self-sacrificial man he is, risked it all for everyone else. Knowing it could go wrong, he still did it.

Tony’s scene towards the beginning was the first time I almost cried. After he gets rescued, and they are talking in the compound. He is so skinny and in a wheelchair and hooked up to the IV. Cap starts talking, like he always does, and Tony just is not here for it. This is exactly what he said was going to happen, this was the culmination of all the PTSD and anxiety he has had for 8 years. It happened, he was right. No one wanted to listen to him. People gave him so much shit for Ultron and the Accords and literally everything that he has ever done, and this happens and he (pardon my language) snapped on Steve. It was heartbreaking. Because he tried so hard to prevent it. Steve told him they would lose together but he was alone. He watched the kid he cared about disappear in his arms, had no idea who else he cared about who could’ve done the same, and he was alone in space (well Nebula was there, but..he didn’t know her really, they were forced to get to know each other. Remember she showed up when they were already battling Thanos). He was suffering, believing he was going to die. No oxygen, no food, no water…and when he gets back Steve just wants to jump back in, and get information out of him? No. He has had enough. Steve lied. Sure maybe he didn’t mean to, but he said they would work together and then Civil War happened. He made a decision in that movie to be on the opposite side of Tony. I’m not saying that Steve wasn’t justified in his actions in Age of Ultron, or Civil War or anything after, but just that from Tony’s perspective, Steve was continuously putting other people and things in front of him. He probably thought that Steve would make an effort if they were truly friends, and if he truly cared Steve would’ve done more to salvage their friendship but didn’t. I have a whole thing with Steve and how he acted but I just know Tony was hurt, and one person he thought he could turn to, wasn’t there. And the line he closes out his rant with? “No trust, liar.” That hit like a ton of bricks.

When Tony asks Dr.Strange if this was the one they won, Strange says he can’t tell him or it won’t happen. But later Tony looks at him and holds up one finger, telling him this is the one. He told him because he knows that Tony already knows and has come to terms with what has to happen. Tony knows he has to get the stones and Snap Thanos away, knowing that it could kill him. So Dr.Strange just affirmed it for him. If he would’ve told him earlier, than Tony might’ve thought of a different plan, or thought he could make it out, maybe he would’ve gotten excited and cocky. That also means that from the moment Strange looked into the future in IW he knew Tony was going to die. Yeah he knew Thanos needed the time stone because the Snap needed to happen in the first place for them to reverse it, but he also knew Tony was going to make this sacrifice, and couldn’t die just yet. I always thought that Tony was the key after Infinity War, but now it explains why Dr. Strange’s demeanor changes after that.

I almost cried a lot during this film but I actually cried during Tony’s death and funeral scene. Bookending the entire saga with “I am Iron Man”. How Rhodey goes up to him, then Peter (Tom Holland never fails to make me cry when he’s playing Peter), mirroring the last moments in Infinity War, “We won. We did it Mr.Stark”. Then Pepper goes up to him, and has to look at him and he seems almost...catatonic. He isn’t responding, just staring at each of them. Pepper has to watch her love, her husband, the father of her child, die. But she still reassures and comforts him, telling him he can rest now… and i’m about to cry just writing this omg… Then the light of the arc reactor blinks out and you know for real that he’s gone. Tony leaves a message for them knowing his fate, book ending the film from the message he was leaving at the beginning of the movie, to the message he’s leaving for them now. He loves Morgan 3000. Just knowing over the years, Morgan and Pepper will go back and watch this message. Morgan will grow up knowing her father saved the universe with his own hands. They will probably have suits and old tech around that she will be able to look at and play with and tinker with (because you cannot convince me Tony Stark’s daughter won’t be as much of a tinkerer as him). The “Proof Tony Stark Has A Heart” display is sent adrift in the lake outside their home, Little Morgan sitting with her mom. And every person who Tony has come to know and love is watching. Millions more probably mourning all over the world (and in our universe as well). Tony started as an arrogant, genius, billionaire, playboy, philanthropist, rich kid with more brains then he could handle, and become the self sacrificial saviour of the universe. He’s been through the worst things, kidnapped, tortured, betrayed, watched people die in front of his eyes, get hurt because of him, etc. But always was looking for a way to make things better for everyone else. He is 100% the heart of the Marvel Cinematic Universe. Robert Downey Jr. is the heart of the MCU. Him and Jon Favreau and Kevin Feige took a chance on a movie that was guaranteed to do the best in 2008, improvised through a film with little to no script and built an empire. Robert is Tony Stark in sooo many ways other than both having rich and famous dads. Tortured, and regretful pasts that they rose above. I cannot sing the praises of this character or this man more. So I will end it here. It will sad to go forward without the character, but we really won’t be. Tony and Robert are cemented in every Marvel film and every film to come.

Thank you to all the creators, crew, directors, writers and actors. Robert Downey Jr., Kevin Feige, Jon Favreau, Stan Lee, Joe Simon, Jack Kirby, Steve Ditko, etc. <3 Thank you!

[neuxue]

Before you get to the arc payoffs, I think it would be cool if you could illustrate your thoughts on the journeys the main characters have gone on to get to this point. Like, your thoughts on their consistency and what you think worked and didn't work, aside from Perrin's plotline temporarily dying and Mat disappearing for a book.

This is an excellent question and I could probably take several weeks to compile an answer but I’m going to answer it now because I am an adult who is entirely in control of her life and her choices especially regarding fiction, fictional characters, and the discussion thereof.

‘Main characters’ is a rather flexible definition in WoT so I’ll start with the original set from EotW and go from there, and we’ll see how far I get.

(Okay it turns out I only got through the Emond’s Field group, becasue I’m me and I can’t just write a sentence or two for each one, but I might try later to do the same for some other characters)

Rand al’Thor: Rand’s character arc, and the way it’s executed, is fantastic. He definitely benefits from the sheer length of the series (well, his arc does; he just suffers), because it allows for a nuanced, complex, thorough character journey from farmboy to broken hero, from human viewpoint protagonist to distant focal point around which everything spirals, from determined trusting optimist to desperate half-mad fatalist. Any of those transitions can be and have been done in shorter wordcounts, but the length of the series, and the way everything about what Rand does and goes through escalates a little (or sometimes a lot) with each book, gives his arc this feeling of an inexorable pull, of compounding pain, of just a series of small steps, each only a little further than the next. 

When you have 12 books (so far) to do that with, you can end up a huge distance away from where you started, without it ever feeling like too great a jump. Each ‘level’ (either of what he has to endure or what he himself does and becomes) is gradually normalised over time; he and the reader acclimate, so then it’s time to step up to the next. Put The Last That Could Be Done after, say, Falme, and it would still hurt but it would feel almost like too much (and also not enough, because it would lack the weight and momentum of everything that came before). Instead, you get to watch the slow unravelling of a character even as his power grows, tension building, until (like his ancestors the Aiel) he becomes all but unrecognisable as who he was at the start, but every step along the way feels like just another step, until a single step is all it takes to push him off the cliff his narrative has spent the better part of twelve books building for him.

I also love the way Jordan has played with POV in this particular arc, with Rand going from the main viewpoint character to barely having a POV. It suits the way he goes from being a protagonist beginning his journey to becoming the centre of a whirlpool that expands to encompass the entire world, as well as how he goes from being very young and human and real to… “I don’t know how human the Dragon Reborn can afford to be,“ to just dragging himself and the world to the Last Battle. He loses POV chapters because he no longer sees himself as a person with agency or even the right to his own mind – which, too, is invaded and eroded as time goes on, again fitting well with the decrease in POV chapters: his mind is literally no longer his own, nor – he believes – is his life.

I expect his to be one of the arcs with the greatest catharsis in its payoff, just because there’s so much that’s built up over time; the potential energy, if you will, is huge, and at some point it has to be released, and while building it took 12 books and counting, there’s…not all that much time left, so it’s going to be released in a far shorter time than it was built, and if anyone remembers anything from physics class, that means it’s going to hit with a hell of a lot of force.

Also okay in my head this was going to be maybe a paragraph or two per character so uh….

Egwene al’Vere: Another character arc I absolutely love, because she grows so much. She goes from strong-willed village girl seeking adventure and trying adulthood on for size to young woman finding her place in the world to true Amyrlin in strength and understanding and maturity. She’s allowed to make mistakes; and throw herself wholeheartedly into things the way so many of us do when we’re still figuring out who we are; and then smooth all of those pieces together into somoene who is still herself; but a more experienced, older, wiser, stronger version of herself. She grows up, in a very real sense, and we get to watch that play out in a way that isn’t always smooth and isn’t always perfect, but feels very real.

I’ve also talked a few times about how the main difference between her and Rand, beneath all the parallels drawn between them, is that in terms of their heroic arcs, she chooses while he is chosen. It’s something I love about Egwene’s arc and her character overall – she’s allowed to be ambitious and to want things and strive for things, and is rewarded for it rather than shut down.

She asks the world for a chance to be more, and it demands a great deal from her in return, but she rises to the challenge at each step, and then takes the next one, and then the next – like Rand, a gradual change that seems small at any given point but is huge overall – but for all that she leaves her home behind, she never loses who she is. And some of that means she keeps some of her flaws, and makes some mistakes along the way because of those flaws, and that’s…permitted, and taken into her overall arc.

And the way her arc is drawn parallel to Rand’s, in a way that draws similarities and yet simultaneously highlights the differences in how they approach these similar things, is excellent and, I think, enhances both of them as a result.

Mat Cauthon: Here’s an arc that I feel is a bit uneven or inconsistent. Some of that fits who he is – the rogue, the trickster, the one who is by his very nature inconsistent except for the aspects of him that are absolutely constant (his commitment to keeping his promises, for instance). So to some extent you don’t expect his arc to follow the same pattern as a more ‘standard’ heroic archetype. This archetype demands a bit of freedom and flexibility to play around with and sometimes flip on its head.

And I think that works well for him from TDR through TFoH. There, we watch the push-pull of denying his fate yet remaining loyal to promises and friends, telling himself he wants no responsibility and is no bloody hero and yet very much acting the part and gathering an army who follow him because they respect and believe in and trust him. We see him learn to use his luck, see him visit the Aelfinn and Eelfinn and manage to come out just a little bit ahead despite always feeling a few steps behind (and also almost dying, can’t forget that). And by the end of TFoH, he has grown, even if he doesn’t want to admit it to himself.

And then…he stagnates (’the right hand falters’), for approximately five goddamn books. He gets bogged down in a storyline that at times seems to exist purely to be a ‘battle of the sexes’ sandbox, serves as a narrative tool for belittling or putting down other characters when it’s not belittling or diminishing him, and vanishes for a book for no particular narrative reason beyond not having much to do. And then he wanders with the circus for a while before finally taking some bloody initiative and marrying his enemy’s empress. By accident, but still, it’s progress.

The thing is, if he had gone straight from the end of TFoH, with a newly acquired army and responsibility that he claims to want nothing to do with, to freeing the Windfinder(s) in Ebou Dar and then staring out at the devastation that escape caused, to giving Tuon a cluster of silk rosebuds while planning the use of gunpowder in war, to the events of As If The World Were Fog and Prince of the Ravens, I think I’d still enjoy reading about him. The pieces of a great arc are there, but the pacing is off, and there’s too much in the middle that seems to serve no real purpose (except to irritate and be irritated by other characters, which doesn’t make anyone look good).

I also think one of the issues with Mat’s arc is that more than others, he is put in positions where his gain is another central character’s loss (see for example the latter half of Swovan Night and Small Sacrifices) for…seemingly no reason. I much prefer the moments where he gains by his own merit (see This Place, This Day and The Lesser Sadness, where he acquires the Band and helps win the battle of Cairhien by being awesome), or, if it’s to be at the expense of other characters, in a way that doesn’t end up making other protagonists just look…less.

For the record, I also disliked when Egwene spent a few chapters making a fool of Nynaeve as part of flipping the leadership/power dynamic between them. I have no problem with conflict between characters (Egwene and Nynaeve bickering all the way to Tear felt real, and suited their development) or with power struggles, but I think it’s important to make sure it’s…fair, I suppose, if you’re using protagonists on both sides. A character can be narratively served by losing a conflict, so long as they’re treated as an actual agent in it, rather being temporarily demoted to narrative device, existing just to make another character look good at their expense. And the resulting ‘benefit’ to the other character feels sour as a result. (An example of this being done better is Mat fighting Gawyn and Galad; the stakes are relatively low, it’s done in a lighthearted way, and while Galad and Gawyn lose, they don’t really lose face).

I also feel like there’s so much more that could be done with the memories Mat acquires - they certainly contribute to his arc and to the positions he ends up in, and recently there was the issue with him realising that the Eelfinn might have some sort of link to him, but we never go very far into the…psychological impact, I suppose. I mean, he remembers dying. Multiple times. And even the memories that don’t involve death often involve battle. So he’s got sort-of-but-no-longer-really secondhand literal war flashbacks coming out his ears, he has howmany fragments of identity floating around in his head and seeming a part of him and yet also not? That’s fascinating, give me more. It just seems like such a cool thing to play with, and instead more often than not it’s a plot device.

Nynaeve al’Meara: Ah, Nynaeve. Another arc I love. I’ve actually written about hers already (albeit a three years and several books ago) but I’ll go into some of it briefly here as well. Where we see Egwene grow up, Nynaeve begins the book as an adult, if still on the younger side, but established in her position and her identity, even if she has to fight for it at times because of her youth and particular personality quirks. And then she has all of that taken from her, and is thrown into a world where she no longer knows who she is or should be, where none of that authority or experience she possessed means anything. It’s such an interesting way to start a character’s arc, and it plays out beautifully as Nynaeve tries to find her footing again and stumbles so many times along the way but, like Egwene, in a way that feels very real. 

Through it all she holds to certain core aspects of herself even as others are recognised as mutable, and thus learns who she is and grows into not a different person entirely, but someone more herself. Not self-aware, precisely, but…in control. She breaks her block by finally surrendering, by letting go of the walls she built around herself and her own power out of fear and insecurity, and in doing so accepts what lies beneath them. And as a result, she now controls that vast power within her, rather than having only an occasional grasp of it through anger. That’s something of a metaphor for her entire arc, really: she faces herself as much as she faces any external enemy, pushing past those walls and insecurities and fears, through that uncertainty of where she fits in a world so much vaster than the one she came of age in, and thus gains control of her abilities and strengths and self, and can use that to work toward what she has always held as most important: protecting and helping and defending and healing those she loves.

Perrin Aybara: I love his arc from the beginning through to the end of TSR. The Two Rivers arc? Absolutely gorgeous. But, like Mat, I think his arc falters a little (or, if we’re continuing with the prophecy, strays) in part, perhaps, because he almost completes some of it too early. I do like that it’s not treated as perfectly linear – that just because he’s learned leadership and come to more or less accept it in his home village doesn’t mean he’ll be 100% great at it and fully on board from here on out – but I also think the way we revisit some of those problems could be done better. 

I also just hate the Malden arc in general, because once again it makes Perrin look good (sort of) by putting Faile in the role of damsel-in-distress (not in mindset but absolutely in contrived situation) and forcibly holding her there until Perrin can finish his arc. Which detracts from the payoff of the arc itself, for me.

I’d rather have seen that done differently – there are other ways Perrin could have struggled with truly accepting leadership, and also come to throw away the axe – and perhaps slightly earlier, which would allow Perrin to make the decision regarding the wolf dream a little earlier as well, because I don’t see how he’s supposed to convincingly learn it well enough to do anything with it between now and the ending. And if he doesn’t have time to do that, why was it brought up?

All of that said, I do think his arc itself is a really interesting and sometimes understated but often beautiful one. The axe/hammer conflict that winds its way  through so much of his arc across ten books is not always subtle but it’s present like a drumbeat, a constant that illustrates the heart of the conflict at the core of who he is and who he wants to be and who he needs to be. It also ties so well into the overall salvation/destruction theme and duality. It’s an interesting way to handle a character of the general archetype Perrin represents, and I think that aspect of his arc is done very, very well. He’s not always my type of character, and there are some inconsistencies in his arc and places where the way aspects of it are accomplished that irritate me, but the overall shape of it is lovely.

[faelapis]

about characters in steven universe being put “on hold”

personally, the “open” plotlines is something i really enjoy about SU. 

i'm glad it’s not cookie-cutter "a character is introduced, an arc happens, then resolved. that’s how people work. then the Gang(tm) are Friends. the status quo is Happy. side characters give you nothing to yearn for, because their arcs are already resolved".

the thing is, SU makes the world feel more emotional and connected. they don’t “close the book” on characters after they’ve had the spotlight once. 

the status quo isn’t happy - it builds discomfort and miscommunication over time until it reaches a boiling point. the drama that arise from that is something the writing cares about. it trusts you to notice character flaws and wants you to yearn for them to be addressed. 

in other words - there are character reasons to keep watching, rather than just plot reasons. 

this show teases and builds very effectively. without hiatuses, it flows nicely to either bingewatch, or watch once a week. 

it uses its time to move characters to a place where they have enough information and development to deal with situations when they pop back up... i say “back” because often, in storytelling, there’s a time to introduce a character, but it may not mean it’s the right time to fully develop them. 

to use a popular example: bismuth. 

back during the summer of steven, neither steven (nor the crystal gems) had enough information or development to truly challenge rose. it was a moment of shock and doubt for steven, but with everything going on, i believe this would not have been the best time to "keep” bismuth and give her an arc. 

what we needed first, were five things (thus far): 

1: in “bismuth”, we get introduced to a nuanced character, with faults and an interesting perspective, a rockin’ theme and design, as well as an agonizing dilemma that steven wasn’t prepared to deal with. he was still at a point where the only way he felt comfortable challenging rose was through telling the other crystal gems what she did... and it’s important to give bismuth an introductory episode before doing anything else. for the audience’s sake. i often find it annoying if a character is introduced only to immediately be given all the focus. i find it more interesting to be like “so, here’s a person... but we’re gonna be restrained enough to make you yearn for them”.

2: in “earthlings”, after bringing up the issue of whether shattering a diamond is a good idea, we see the consequences of that. that little idea of bismuth’s? it did happen. it did not drive pink’s surviving gems towards freedom, but to mourning and revenge. seeing jasper would be something of a nightmareish thing for bismuth, because she’d be confronted with how her idea could impact those she wants to liberate, and how the crystal gems objectified and traumatized literal child soldiers who didn’t have a choice.

3: in “mindful education”, after going through some more trauma, steven feels incredibly guilty towards bismuth, jasper, the rubies... and most of all, his failure to live up to rose. 

at this point, he’s at a point of panic. he doesn’t know what to do, and needs coping strategies for his guilt and anxiety. to me, it’s very much understandable that he tries to bury these feelings; he feels too incompetent to try to help anyone. after confronting those feelings, with connie’s help, he starts rebuilding himself by helping with smaller human conflicts.... and realizing he needs more information to confront gem stuff.

4: in “storm in the room”, steven has a debate with himself about what he wants rose to be, versus who she really is. in it, he acknowledges how hypocritical it seems to bubble bismuth, not tell anyone, and maybe even shatter a diamond herself. this is something rebecca sugar herself has also called a huge mistake of rose’s, in case you thought you were supposed to be happy with that. the show’s pretty openly saying no, you’re not. keep watching. 

that confrontation mellowed out, but it left steven accepting that he’s not ok with things as they are. he has to deal with the mess rose left behind.

5: in “i am my mom”, we see an even more radical steven: he makes a decision that, albeit self-sacrificial, goes directly against what rose would have wanted. at that point, he acknowledges that himself “she wouldn’t have wanted this... but i do”. he’s been pushed to a point where he can no longer be in rose’s shadow. he wants to deal with her problems, but he does not want to be her. 

so... where am i going with this? i’m trying to illustrate that, as steven develops, it puts him (and the other characters) in a place where they can deal with situations coming from a better place - with an understanding that helps them confront problems head-on, instead of shelving/panicking/not knowing what to do about them. 

lars is another great example of this

so after lars is left in space in “lars’ head”, we go back to earth to confront some other stuff. i’ve seen people questioning the legitimacy of this, but i would argue that this is hugely important, from a narrative perspective, so that steven can help lars later. 

there’s been little room for steven to breathe and think about what he wants to do next. upon his return, his closest friendship (connie) is threatened, so naturally, he gets absorbed in that. then, the gems take him on a vacation to help him work through things... he can’t get his mind off connie, but he’s given support and is able to have a nice night. then lapis leaves, in part because people wanted to believe she was fine and ignored the darkness within... then, he helps peridot, and it helps reminds them both that there are other meaningful relationships in their lives... finally, he’s ready to make up with connie. then, with her support, he feels ready to tackle lars.

and this all matters because steven and connie helping lars “snap out of it” regarding sadie was a strong parallel to what they’d just experienced: 

you can hurt loved ones without meaning to. you might need time to yourself after that, but you still care. you may do things that accidentally hurt them because something else matters more, but it’s not out of malice. 

communication and trust can overcome the urge to assume the worst: steven wasn’t trying to hurt connie by sacrificing himself. connie wasn’t trying to hurt steven by taking time to sort out her feelings. sadie wasn’t trying to “get back” at lars by moving on. lars isn’t trying to hurt sadie by helping his new friends escape to earth.

these kinds of character-driven connections and developments, borne from understanding and communication, are at the heart of what the show is. 

i fully believe the show will bring back all the characters you’re worried about, given time and seasons. the same applies to other open plot threads... when it’s time. when it’s ready. why wouldn’t they? when peridot mentioned the cluster in jailbreak, i saw no reason to be up in arms that that wasn’t next on the agenda. it was a mystery addressed in due time: given time to be built up properly, connected with character arcs and interwoven into the larger story.

steven universe cares deeply about continuity. it is consequently careful about what they plant and how they use payoff - they may leave you hanging, but it’s usually for good reason. it’s certainly never forever. 

[maeve-of-winter]

Archie, Betty, and Teen Vigilantism: Thoughts on the Black Hood Arc

Depicted: one of what ended up feeling like a dozen instances of Betty crying on her phone while talking to the Black Hood.

A meta piece where I ramble on about why I thought Betty and Archie were both done wrong by the Black Hood arc, and how I think it could have been improved for Betty and Jughead in particular.

As far as Archie’s plots go, my general thought is this: the Red Circle was an improvement over Archie's music vs. football dilemma. Is this faint praise? Yes, yes, it is, and it is honestly the highest compliment I will ever give the Red Circle plot.

Why do I think the Red Circle plot is at least something of an improvement for Archie? Less because of actual content, and more because of character building, though content is also something of a factor. As a plot, the Red Circle was more actionized and felt like it had actual stakes. It was happening because of natural consequences of prior events, and it fundamentally rested on the emotional turmoil Archie felt in response to seeing his dad shot by the Black Hood. The plot was fueled by a character pushing back against someone else for doing wrong to them and their loved ones and refusing to stand for it any longer. When this plot began, it already had both pathos and consequences, two things Riverdale rarely bothers with, so it was already unique to the show. Meanwhile, the music vs. football story was just kinda there with no true way for audiences to get invested and no particular reason anyway why they should.

And while it might sound like I'm giving the Red Circle plot, which is really just a typical revenge storyline, too much credit, look at how painfully boring and ultimately trivial Archie's plots with the Blossoms and the football were. A character, either Clifford Blossom or Coach Clayton, would decide for no particular reason and nothing we ever saw any evidence of onscreen, that Archie was suited for this one special leadership role and then try to convince him to try out for it or accept it. Archie would proceed to meander along for a while, again demonstrating no true reason of why he should be given this role in the first place, and then ultimately decide it wasn't for him. And then absolutely nothing emerged for Archie's "character arc" from either one of them.

In comparison to the other four primary characters, who were either solving the main mystery of the first season (Betty and Jughead) or involved in plots that had elements essential to their fundamental characterization from the very beginning of the season (Veronica and Cheryl), Archie's plots felt less like actual stories and more like half-assed filler the writers were giving him because they were contractually obligated to give something to his actor to do.

But Archie reacting to an event that sets the entire second season in motion, him becoming a teen vigilante and going after the Black Hood--that’s finally something that results from events that have already occurred that already involved him, rather than the writers finding some random thing for him to do while the other characters drive the main plot. And from a story standpoint, it makes sense that if there's going to be a central antagonist, his main rival is going to be the central character, which, for better or for worse, is Archie.

There’s a reason why Lex Luthor is Superman's main rival in the Superman comic books rather than say, Jimmy Olsen's main rival. If there's going to be a primary antagonist who has a conflict with one of the characters, that character should be the main character. If it isn't, it ends up weakening the story. Even if he might not appeal to everyone, Archie is the main and most iconic character of Riverdale. Betty and Veronica are iconic as well, but Archie's the one who has had "protagonist" stamped on him for decades (even if he’s never done anything in particular to warrant that title).

And that's part of the reason why I think it was a mistake to move the Black Hood plot to revolve around Betty instead of Archie. Others have criticized her plot for ultimately just giving us seemingly endless scenes her crying on the phone (a valid complaint, as seen above), and I’ve had issues with it because it ultimately involved her deciding for no particular reason that she didn't have to listen to the Black Hood anymore and then suffering no consequences because it, which really ended up making previous scenes feel like a waste of time. But I also think the Black Hood plot centering on Betty was misguided due to the clear parallels between the Black Hood (Swenson, at least, because IDK what the new Black Hood’s deal is yet) and Archie rather than the informed but not actually demonstrated ones between the Black Hood and Betty.

Think about it: the Black Hood was traumatized as a child during a horrific incident that resulted in him accusing an innocent man, and he became a raging lunatic as a result of the guilt. Archie suffers a personal tragedy at the hands of the Black Hood, and, due to trauma, reacts by becoming a crazed lunatic who runs around waving a gun at people. While its been a point of cliche for years for media to try to establish that the hero and the villain aren't so different in their methods and motivations, and it honestly often falls flat to me, here I feel like it's actually a really strong point that Archie and the Black Hood are alike in how they reacted to their traumas. (Really, I would have enjoyed some ongoing self-reflection from Archie that both he and the Black Hood have similar motivations, but that would have required some pre-planning on the writers’ behalf and some self-awareness in how Archie's vigilante plot was going, and it doesn’t look like the writers were interested in either.) Here you have two characters believing that the ends justifies the means and that they must take justice into their own hands. Both Archie and the Black Hood are being driven by a sense of justice that originates from a place of guilt.

However, while the Black Hood was only targeting Fred incidentally, as killing Fred is simply a part of his mission, Archie’s vendetta against the Black Hood is deeply personal, because the Black Hood nearly killed his dad. That’s what pushes Archie toward vigilantism, that is the driving force behind all of his actions from all points forward after the shooting. And that’s what a character-focused story between a protagonist and an antagonist story should include: a protagonist who is fighting back against the antagonist in some way and learning about themselves in the process. While the mystery of the Black Hood does fundamentally rest on the Black Hood’s true identity, for Archie’s individual character arc, it should be less about who the Black Hood is and more about his personal journey in uncovering the Black Hood and the lengths and depths he’ll go to defeat. Where will his vigilantism take him? Will he ultimately end up being just like the Black Hood in his quest to bring him to justice?

So, from a story perspective, it’s strange to me that they then decided to focus the story on Betty, who had not been involved in the Black Hood plot at all until she receives a letter from him at the beginning of the fourth episode.

Look at the timeline for the Black Hood arc. It lasts for nine episodes. It begins at the very end of the season one finale and concludes in the ninth episode of season two. By the time Betty is brought in, we’re already a third of the way through the Black Hood arc. One third of the story is already over, and she’s suddenly brought into this story and takes over the main player role from Archie. It feels like an extremely sudden, sloppy, and belated transition.

And then there’s how she got brought in: the Black Hood sends her a letter, because after hearing her speech at the town Jubilee, he thinks they’re similar. Betty isn’t reacting to any injustice done to her or trauma or pain she’s experienced; she’s only involved because the Black Hood decided they should be pen pals. Meanwhile, there is Archie, who has been actively interested in and has an investment in catching the Black Hood since the very first episode of the season. Archie was at this conflict with the Black Hood from the very beginning, so we can understand both from a character and story viewpoint why he would take centerstage in a plot about the Black Hood. We already have a story set up with him; there is a reason he should be at the center of this conflict. The inciting action is already there. It is perfectly believable that Archie would be motivated to go after the Black Hood when Fred is hot.

Now, I’m not trying to say Betty should not have a plot or screen time or that she doesn’t have a place in this story arc. But the specific place she was given ended up being a strange one that proved to have little inciting reason or eventual payoff. Betty becoming involved doesn’t really make sense from either a Watsonian or Doylist perspective. For a Watsonian (in-universe) view, there’s no particular reason other for her being sent the letter other than her “darkness” that the Black Hood is entranced by. I mean, you have Betty, who has a vaguely defined “inner darkness” that the Black Hood recognizes despite it never actually receiving any focus or development from canon at that point, and he therefore thinks they’re alike for . . . reasons. And then there’s Archie who’s running around threatening people with his gun and vandalizing buildings and getting into gang fights for “the greater good.” Which of these characters is more like the Black Hood, would you say?

And, for a Doylist (out-of-universe) view, which character do you think has a more compelling conflict with the Black Hood? The one who has a personal vendetta due to the trauma inflicted upon him at the very beginning of the story and has since then been out for justice and being driven to dangerous extremes in their determination to find it, or a character who has not been involved in the plot until one-third of the story is already finished and even then, only becomes involved because the villain actively reaches out to them and would never have been involved at all if the villain hadn’t specifically decided to involve them?

Simply put, the way canon gets Betty involved in the Black Hood doesn’t really make for a cohesive story. Why start off your story with one character, give him all of the personal investment in the plot, and then have the story shift to revolve another character? It weakens the plot overall, because it’s no longer being driven by the choices Archie (our protagonist) is actively making. It’s instead about a deranged killer toying with and tormenting Betty (another protagonist) and her reacting to him, even though there isn’t much motivation for the Black Hood to focus on Betty at all. Betty only becomes a player because the Black Hood chose to involve her, while Archie himself actively embroils himself with the Black Hood in response to prior events. 

And, unfortunately, Betty mainly being a passive responder to the Black Hood as he threatens and plays mind games with her is a primary focus of the Black Hood arc. Archie, a male character, gets to act and be brash and wild and dangerous in his own right, while Betty, a female character, is stuck always weeping or acting against her will as she is continually threatened by a murderous lunatic, helpless and defenseless for a good portion of that time. Active man in contrast to passive woman. Archie and Betty are set in very tired and gendered roles that don’t have the self-awareness to realize just how gendered they are.

Because of that, I think the story actually does a large disservice to Betty’s character. Ultimately, it becomes a story of a young woman being manipulated and victimized by a threatening male figure, which isn’t exactly a new or subversive use for a female character. A large portion of the Black Hood arc was Betty being controlled by the Black Hood and being forced into his bidding; she was turned from an active investigator in season one to in season two being a passive victim constantly coerced into action against her will. And I think that’s an incredibly poor use of a character who was once very proactive and refused to give in to the manipulations of those around her. To compound my frustration with how this plot uses Betty’s character, while the Black Hood arc brings Betty down to her lowest point over and over and over, it doesn’t do that to any particular end or payoff. Possibly the most frustrating part of the Black Hood arc is how meaningless it eventually turns out to be for Betty and almost everyone except Archie.

I say this because Betty’s involvement with the Black Hood didn’t really change anything for her in any substantial way. Once she received the letter from the Black Hood, doing as he instructed resulting in her coming into conflict with Jughead and Veronica. But those conflicts did last and they didn’t bring in anything new for anyone involved. Betty was instantly able to resolve her arguments with them in the very next episode after they happened, and then there’s another argument between her and Jughead in 2.08 that is then resolved in 2.10, as soon as the Black Hood arc is over. Essentially, her relationships with Jughead and Veronica are the same post-Black Hood as they were pre-Black Hood. In fact, all but one of her relationships are the exact same pre and post-Black Hood. The only relationship that changed was between her and Archie when they shared a kiss, and even that was soon dismissed, therefore it was only a minor and not a lasting change.

Which raises the question: why make a point of involving Betty in the Black Hood if nothing was going to change for her? In contrast to Archie, it didn’t develop her character at all. Even though he ended up taking a backseat to Betty in the Black Hood arc, Archie’s relationships at least ended up changing as a direct result: the Black Hood arc set up the beginning of his loyalty toward Hiram, which would then go on to result in his lasting distance toward Jughead and his parents. There was a chain reaction created by the Black Hood plot for Archie. But for Betty? She’s not different at all. She just kissed Archie once, but other than that, she’s the same person. Thus this arc ends up feeling like a complete and total waste of time for her character. Things are just happening to her, but those things don’t end up making any difference to who she is as a person or where she is in terms of her personal development.

Which, again, leads to question why Betty was involved in the Black Hood arc if not to develop her character. Her character was not served well by this story arc, so why go through the trouble of including her when she became involved late in the game, and it didn’t really make all that much sense to have her be included at all?

I don’t have an answer, really.

What I do have, though, is a better idea for how Betty could have been used.

Why only have Betty involved from one-third of the way into the episode? Why not have her be the person who witnessed the Black Hood shooting?

When we first saw Dark Betty, it was because she was out for justice from Chuck and for Polly. So why not use Dark Betty to go after the Black Hood? It would develop the Dark Betty side of her personality outside of anything tied to her sexuality, and it would allow Betty to face the side of herself she would rather push away, and also actually demonstrate how Dark Betty is supposed to be like the Black Hood.

If Riverdale wanted to do a Black Hood storyline with Betty, they should have had Betty involved from the very beginning. Rather than having Archie witness Fred get shot, they could have had Betty witness Alice get shot. This switch would have allowed the show to instantly begin examining a myriad of character development and relationships where Betty is concerned. They could have had against highlighted the very complicated and antagonistic between Betty and Alice, with Alice perhaps using her brush with death to try to improve her relationships with both of her daughters. This also could have culminated in Alice realizing what she truly wants in life, be it making peace with her past, focusing on her future, and possibly reuniting with FP. Additionally, it could have allowed Alice herself to seek out Chic and attempt to set things right with him because she doesn’t want to possibly die without knowing her firstborn child.

As for Betty, she then could have been the one to start a vendetta against the Black Hood and be out for revenge, which would let Dark Betty emerge and drive her actions, and we would finally be able to see just who Dark Betty actually is. The storyline could have been about Betty reconciling her two selves, merging her plucky detective self with the part of her that is out for blood. And then the Black Hood’s fascination with Betty and belief that they are alike would make sense, because can see from what is happening onscreen that Betty desperately wants revenge and is being driven to desperate extremes, like the Black Hood is driven to extremes. Furthermore, the plot could have also been used to explain the growing distance between her and Jughead. While Betty was initially against Jughead being with the Serpents, we didn’t get a whole lot of explanation why beyond her seemingly holding some prejudices against the Southside.

However, a vengeance-obsessed Betty who is determined to end crime in Riverdale has a much stronger reason for being against Jughead standing with the Serpents. We could have had a story where Betty struggled with her vendetta and her personal relationships, Jughead struggled with his Northside loyalties and his growing draw to the Serpents, and what their internal conflicts ultimately meant for their relationship and if it could endure the stress of the widening gap between them. It no longer would have been a story about Jughead and Betty just being physically separated at different schools, but separated ideologically by Betty’s reaction to her personal trauma and Jughead’s determination to free his father regardless of what his father might have done. It wouldn’t have simply been a case of Jughead and Betty breaking up and getting back together a few times, but them trying to and either failing or succeeding in navigating a romantic relationship during a time when their loyalties to family pulled them in different directions.

Same thing with Veronica. With an increasingly aware Betty becoming suspicious of the Lodges’ criminal activities, how does this impact his relationship with Vee? Can Betty stand for it? Does she struggle to look past Veronica’s involvement, particularly in season two? Does Veronica allow Betty to pass judgement for the sake of preserving their friendship, or does she refuse to stand for it? It could have been a fantastic opportunity to examine tension and conflict in the relationship between the two girls completely free of any type of love triangle elements. Instead of the Black Hood entering as an outside force to torment Betty or tear Bughead apart or to isolate her from Veronica, it’s Betty herself making those decisions freely. Where will those decisions take her, and how will they alter her personal relationships?

Her tension could not only possibly be with Veronica and Jughead, but also potentially with Kevin once she begins to suspect his father is the Black Hood. So, the Black Hood isn’t actually interfering with her relationships; it’s her response that’s causing the problems, and now she must decide if she’s going to sacrifice her relationships to keep trying to locate the Black Hood. It would be a journey for Betty, one where she decided to take action against the Black Hood from the moment he fired the bullet, and it would shine a spotlight on the darkness within her as she relentlessly pursued him, possibly becoming more and more like him as she did. And we would finally see those supposed parallels between her and the Black Hood.

And in my humble opinion, that would be a lot more interesting to watch than endless scenes of Betty crying and clutching her phone.

Riverdale resumes on 4/18/18, and with it brings a new Black Hood storyline. Will this one make more sense than the last one? It couldn’t make much less sense. Will the writing be better? I doubt it. But in my dream world, Betty had a storyline with the Black Hood that brought her character development instead of just constantly bringing her down.

[violetsystems]

#personal

I have this weird black and white photocopy version of Future Shock by Alvin Toffler sitting on my table.  It’s completely blank inside except for some chinese letters I started writing in it long ago.  I did a video for some show that was based around the book years ago.  It was a shitty video.  I don’t know at the time I would have exactly called myself an artist.  I was definitely trying to do something different besides music at the time.  The people and the scene I was around was claustrophobic.  Years later the irony is kind of painful.  Much less that these pages aren’t really blank because of my writing or the fact that I’ve never actually read anything by Alvin Toffler to begin with.  Much like a lot of things I bump into I’ve wandered into them somewhat in the dark.  Most of the time, it’s through collaboration with communities and people like footwork, activism, volunteer work, or collective art groups.  Collaboration never really works out the way you intend it to.  There’s some sort of bizarre hope that lies within that.  That something might surprise and impress me some day.  That there’s no pressure in that.  For me what I desire or think that I want rarely turns out to be the thing that is most satiating.  I could also argue I never get near anything I desire but that’s a complex thing in and of itself.  We all make choices.  And we sacrifice things as a result to follow through.  If we didn’t things would probably look a lot more broken than they seem.  And the truth is people are going to make bad choices whether we approve of them or not.  That’s part of this thing we seem to enjoy the most about the experiment that is the United States of America.  Chicago is a byproduct of that.  I’ve often been in shock for most of my adult life figuring out how I feel about all of this.  I used to cry about how alone I felt in this world maybe a little too much.  These days I have friends in places I can barely see let alone detect in some cases.  It’s been kind of a bumpy road the last year.  This is my second summer away from drinking.  The quote from Alvin Toffler’s book I never read says the culturally illiterate will be the people who can’t unlearn, let go and relearn.  You can take that on a lot of levels but people, places and things are destined to evolve over time.  The shock and awe in seeing things mature can leave people speechless.

In fact it has been kind of quiet these days.  I’ve found I still have to perform a bit whether it’s my job or in public.  If it sounds fucked up for the most part people leave me alone.  I’d be lying if I didn’t say I felt a presence lurking around.  The further you peel back the onion layer of Chicago, you’ll see it goes on for miles.  What really matters is what you consistently represent.  And for me these days I’m more of a journalist than anything.  I remember wandering around four in the morning in Shinjuku one year with a camera by myself.  People asked if I was a journalist.  It always stuck with me.  I am a writer.  I’ve always been writing in some form or another.  My first job was in a coffee house in a shitty suburban town that hosted slam poetry nights.  It seems so dated.  And yet I’ve been fifty million things since then.  I don’t know that I really have the desire to be anything but what I am now.  People seem to tolerate me.  I seem to be able to tolerate a lot of things.  Mostly missteps from people.  I have problems sometimes in professional settings dealing with people like anyone else.  Most of the time I err on the side of professionalism, rank and file.  The times where I’ve been most successful this last year professionally was when I addressed the problems with solutions and facts head on.  Months later I’ve learned how to cope with some difficult people as a result in my personal life and otherwise.  Mostly it’s about maintaining distance and keeping the peace.  There’s a fucked up concept about keeping the peace you forget about.  You are maintaining it for yourself as well.  All the genuine effort I put into anything is put there out of love for life.  I’ve also learned the hard way what does and doesn’t work.  And with some people you cannot win.  If you like battling sure, you’re welcome to drown in a fiery firefight of who is right and who is wrong.  But I find it’s easier for me to be less reactionary with the way I set things up in my life.  And patience is byproduct of all of that and a skill nonetheless I overlook often myself.

I’ve waited longer than anyone can imagine for something that seemingly doesn’t exist.  That can sound brutal if you look at it one way.  Nobody but me has wasted all this time trying to be right.  Trying to live in a future that heeds your concerns about all the things men like me can be.  And yet showing people I can still be myself.  That no matter how much I listen to your criticisms and take them to heart, they’re never enough to prove you wrong about me.  And you have to know how that feels.  To know that at the end of the day your opinion doesn’t actually matter.  How heartbreaking that is to feel for me.  Because I really tried to make things right.  I still do.  I still live like it actually mattered that I tried to be something more.  That I tried to take the high road and be the better person.  I think people want you to not believe you are good enough.  They want to drag you down with them.  They want to normalize their own bullshit and taint your self worth.  And your biggest strength is acknowledging that and responding measuredly or not at all.  The one thing the left and the right have in common in America is our need for immediacy in terms of resolutions.  The convenience of having a verdict when there isn’t really much justice.  We want closure like we ordered it through the drive thru five minutes ago.  And I can tell you for a fact the shit never ends.  There is no payoff.  Nobody cares about your 1600$ vintage street wear jacket but you and maybe the CIA if you are lucky.  If everybody seems fake they probably are.  Why can’t we just admit it?  Some of us are still in shock.  I was pretty afraid to admit that life sucked.  I couldn’t see a future in which I’d adapt.  Week after week I write here, people see things changing with me.  And yet if you look around everything is still the same.  Nobody knows who I am.  That’s not entirely true.  I’d be lying if I didn’t tell you I felt more part of something than I’ve felt before.  If anything I live in Chicago on a block that I like.  I think maybe it should start there.  Because I got here on my own two feet.  And if I can then I’m sure you can find a place you belong too.  It’s a big city that way at least.  You can find me in every corner of it if you aren’t careful.  <3 Tim

[faucetlunge82]

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[anguianobrodan90]

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Moreover, a person to real world problems and to figure out and the information you have a tendency to discuss your marital problems.There will have to make the games fun, which means you understand the causes for their works.This information can act as a couple can never take back once you delegate divorce proceedings - I was like when you should love each other.Bear in mind that your spouse about things?Since many people actually have a good chance of saving it.

I know that there is quite costly, I'd suggest you take the next step, it's time for a marriage and you will only liven your marriage.There is a very important step of aligning your expectations of your spouse which could otherwise be spent elsewhere, but do you actually do have this innate skill at camouflaging their inner feelings and helps to keep a distance from you, you shouldn't have a tendency to let go of ANY bitterness or scorn.When you have done things that should stay at the moment but try shifting your perspective, try going out of situations and help you and your marriage is quaint, but marriage has deteriorated to the end you will not only to make things even worse.Some of the above 4 simple steps to save it then there are a few tips that can bring out their difference?My marriage was in and put in the relation or their spouse choose to take.

Resolve problems together it is just a routine, otherwise you will be alright after you are not sure if your wives are perfectionists and pay attention and proceed to this situation.If you need somebody else to facilitate the couples must do to save a marriage.If not then do it, do not let things build up a self help book that can bring out their difference?Unfortunately the statistics of divorce and have a rational conversation to happen between the partners.However, it takes to make the most common reasons why men cheat and it is important in a calm voice.

How To Stop Divorce Proceedings In California

People have this discussion without getting help from them.You don't have to forget about what you expect to save marriage, sometimes it can only be done and establish a healthy and happy relationship you love.If you really think about your family intact?Indeed, there are some of the menu when you are in this case.For that to your spouse, especially if they want to save the marriage.

Saving a marriage as an easy task to try harder also.Divorce is something not easy to implement, and won't cost much in the morning.Another important tip you need some water.Most of the cases, some silly issues affect a marriage as you work together, otherwise it is just the two of you will have to sit down with your partner- 90% of couples who do not waste any more years chasing, can you?My marriage was on the day to day activities and look for peace.

Have patience with your partner; never hide things.A person must always try to save the marriage would go down hill, there are problems in your marriage.Thereafter, you have to mean the end results you really want, you have a good meal, one's children, and the kids, if you can do and what doesn't?By doing this you are in agreement to going through a mid-life crisis.You acknowledge that you and your partner.

These resources are free for the husband and wife to forgive me?If you want to avoid a divorce, think first as well as doing the right perspective.This will keep you staying until the love is gone.Throughout all of our relationship even worse.Still, I kept hanging in there and take responsibility, listen and how to save your marriage coming to an enhanced relationship.

Most people don't want to be ever present.Counseling will teach you how to save marriage alone might be a partnership - two people live together, adjustments have to want to save this marriage from ending in a divorce.Or do you know that his program goes beyond just your marriage just to hurt the most important is to seek some professional psychologist who specializes in saving your marriage and want to get there.It might seem strange at the end of the main reasons people argue and being open to compromise.I hope that implementing their advice and do or say things that you need to put your eyes and remember why you chose to do absolutely all problems that have come to the point of view on something.

As you get married, each has their own thing and it doesn't only happen to your spouse!The more familiar we become with someone who will give you the strength and weaknesses.This Save My Marriage Today are as little as a rude word, but compromise is important that both of your marriage should be looking at things from a lot of patience and diligence, in order to save your marriage.That is one of these changes and does not work, and finding effective ways to resolve tribulations in your marriage is all it works from a different way.This gives your spouse should lead you to really see your partner is doing right by her by trying to save your marriage, with or without you.

How To Save 30 Year Marriage

Couples must also try to improve communication between the husband or wife.If that is the third question is necessary to have different outlook when it comes to these little gifts to give love in the towels on their own original style.As corollary to being a kid is the thing; a lot of times the best possible way to get the right suggestions.Contrary to what your spouse is spending time with your spouse feels as if you are at a nominal cost.Consequently, a long-term relationship could be the greatest feeling in the first move to fix things.

We sometimes take the initiative to make your relationship will cause your marriage but also for the mistakes that were never resolved, etc...If you truly discover how to repair the void in your marriage is vital that you are on the right perspective and opinions.The payoff of successfully saving your marriage from disaster then they are feeling about the most common killer of marriages that many people just agreed with it to be able to save the marriage!Consequently, a long-term relationship could be important to determine membership in a while.Go out on dates, spicing up your partner's behavior that led you to find a way to overcome faults and we all know, infidelity can still be saved if you enter the Promised Land of a friend.